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moving-accounts-uwu · 4 years

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Home Is Where The Heart Is {Pt. 1}

Fandom: Far Cry 5

Characters: Seed Brothers x Serah (OFC)

Story Type: Series

Series Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, death, violence, romance, fluff, polygamous relationship, abuse, smut, slight dub-con, religious themes, kidnapping, brain-washing, Stockholm Syndrome & Lima syndrome, some elements of the games is used (locations, story/timeline, etc).

Chapter Warnings: None!

Word count: 2.3k words

Story Summary: Serah is a young woman living in Fall’s End, Hope County and has lived there all her life. She owns her own farm and B&B, nothing very exciting ever happens in Fall’s End - except for the occasional chaos caused by Sharky Boshaw. That is until one day, three men show up with a broken down car and seeking a place to stay. Serah, being the kind and caring person she is, lets these men into her home with open arms, but she truly doesn’t know what she has invited into her life.

A/N: each chapter will have specific chapter warnings/trigger warnings at the beginning to help those who would get triggered to know what is about to happen in each chapter. I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone tho ;w; Other than that, I hope y’all enjoy this chapter 1 and updates to this story will be slow though. I know this first chapter is short but make sure to show it some love so I know y’all like it and I can continue it!! Gif is not mine btw~

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Hope County was never really busy or loud; it was mainly quiet and peaceful. People could leave their windows and doors unlocked during the nights because no major crimes were ever committed, and the fact that Hope County only had a small amount of law enforcement because of the low crime rate.

Hope County was the perfect place for Serah. Serah had lived in Fall's End for nearly seven years, and her life has never taken a turn for the worst while living on her farm. She owned a few cows, chickens, pigs, and horses that she tends and cares for. Her large farmhouse has also been renovated to be Fall's Ends very own 'Bed & Breakfast'; getting the occasional tourist here and there, or sometimes it's a local needing a little change in scenery. Serah's main customer is Sharky Boshaw.

Sharky liked to cause a little trouble, otherwise, Hope County would be too quiet. Whenever Sharky was too drunk to go home, he always managed to walk to Serah's farm and keep her company while tending to him. Serah was also good friends with Kim and Nick Rye, the couple being her closest friends since she moved to Montana from New York. Serah wanted a change of scenery herself, and she always dreamed of owning her own farm and 'B&B'.

It was a warm morning when Serah woke up in the early hours on a Saturday. She groaned a bit, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and giving her muscles a good stretch before leaving the confines of her bed. Most of her farm chores were done the day before, so only a few small chores were left remaining. Serah planned to go to The Spread Eagle to visit Mary May, another good friend of hers from when she first moved to Fall's End and worked at the bar for four years.

As Serah was doing some dusting around the house with only having to hang out the laundry after, she was excited to get a move on and get it finished.

"C'mon, Serah, nearly done then we can have drinks to wash the stress away."

Serah couldn't wait to relax before Monday began; the only days she really lets loose is on the weekends with Mary May, and sometimes Sharky if he hasn't already been drinking and passed out somewhere. When the chores were done, Serah took a quick shower to freshen up and put on a cute white, lace sundress that had a deep neckline that flashed a bit of her cleavage and stopped just above her knees.

Serah parked her car in the parking lot before pushing through the bar doors, looking around at the few patrons already there just before 1 p.m. When she approached the bar, Mary May was quick to greet her.

"Hey, beautiful! Just finished all the chores on the farm, yeah?"

"You have no idea..." Serah gave a dramatic sigh of relief while Mary just laughed.

"Don't worry, sweetie! Maybe you could ask one of the boys to help you out around that big farm of yours. You probably need to hire some farmhands, otherwise, you're gonna get tired and grey from stress." Mary May was very motherly for someone who was only a few years older than Serah.

"You know I would if I had the money, Mary. I can't afford to hire farmhands while paying my bills, groceries, and animal feed. I'd either go broke or couldn't pay them enough to keep around." Serah shrugged before getting comfortable at the bar, trying to decide what drink she'd want to order first.

Serah ordered herself a Bourbon and Coke while conversing with Mary and a few other patrons, having the day pass slowly and having a good time. It wasn't until two in the afternoon that Serah thought about heading back to the ranch. She asked Mary if she could leave her truck in the parking lot, which Mary said yes and that she didn't need to ask, while Serah called Nick for a lift.

Serah didn't have to wait for Nick long; he came under less than 2 mins and picked her up.

"Hey there, Serah! You have a good time?" Nick asked while he headed towards the ranch.

"Oh yeah, I had a few drinks to help unwind. It's been a rough few days working, but I got everything done. Maybe I'll get a few new guests or Sharky might just crash at mine whenever he's too drunk to go home." Nick and Serah both laughed at the thought.

Nick and Serah had a sibling bond; Nick was like an older brother and Serah being younger. Serah met Nick when she turned 21 and had her first drink at the Spread Eagle, where she was introduced to Nick and Kim Rye, then five years later, she was basically another Rye in their eyes. She had a second family after losing both her parents to cancer when she was 19. Nick and Serah even got tattoos of each other's names that Nick claims 'Now you're a Rye! You're now my little sister'. The memory always brings tears of pride and joy to Serah's eyes.

Nick parked in front of Serah's ranch before hugging her tight.

"You know, you could always ask me to help you out if things are too much, sis."

"I know that Nick, but I couldn't possibly ask of that from you when Kim is this far along in her pregnancy. She'll need your help more than me. She could give birth next month or so." Serah tried to reason, but Nick just scoffed.

"Kimmie is a tough son of a bitch, every time I offer to help her, she tells me she can do it herself. Trust me, I have plenty of free time to help you out." Nick gave Serah a comforting squeeze on her shoulder before she hopped out of his car, waving him goodbye and watched him drive away.

With a sigh, Serah walked back into her home and started to plan out what to make for dinner. She heard the soft sound of her white cat, Alpine, purring away in his perch at the window sill, the sun coating him with warmth.

"Hey there, Alpine, did ya miss me?" Serah giggled as she walked by him, scratching behind his ear as she went.

*2 hours later*

Serah always had a habit of making large portions of food as if other people lived in the two-story house. She couldn't help it, Serah just created that much food so she wouldn't have to worry about making more the next day. She guessed that it was because she would have to cook for the guests when they stayed at her 'B&B' and she just can't help it. While she let the chicken and corn soup to simmer, she started to get Alpine's food ready because she knew he'd become needy soon.

"Alright, buddy, you'll be having some delicious prawns, your favorite!" Serah sang as Alpine came rushing over and meowing loudly at the smell of the prawns.

As Serah put the prawns into a small bowl and placed it on the floor near the kitchen island, she heard the sound of a slam and a muffled, angry voice followed by a calmer voice. Serah's curious mind got the better of her and snooped near the front window and peeked out through her translucent curtains to see what the commotion was. There was a black SUV parked on the side of the road, small amounts of smoke coming from the hood while three men stood around the front of the car. One of the men had red hair and beard with scars covering parts of his face and forearms; he was the one who was angry at the fact that their car must have broken down while the two other men stood around letting the redhead vent. One of the other men was dressed in very luxurious clothes and had many tattoos covering his arms and hands, and he also sported a beard. The other man had his hair in a bun, wore yellow-tinted glasses, and looked to be trying to calm the scarred man.

Serah was still in a daze by watching the men that she hadn't realized that the men had noticed her house, and one of them was making their way to her front door. The sudden sound of knocking on her door startled Serah out of her daze and she quietly made her way to the front door. When she made sure her little latch lock was in place, she opened the door slightly to greet the man with the tinted glasses and man-bun.

"Hello my child, my name is Joseph, and my brothers and I happen to be in a bit of a predicament. It seems our car has broken down and we don't know how to fix the issue, would you happen to know of anyone who knows mechanics?" The man said.

Serah blinked for a few seconds, registering what he had said.

"Oh!" You looked at your little wristwatch to see that the time was now 4:30 in the afternoon and that the closest mechanic store is at least 45 minutes away and closes at 5 o'clock. "Um, the closest mechanic is nearly an hour away, and they'll be closing soon, so you won't be able to see them until tomorrow."

"That is quite alright. I also saw that this loving ranch was a 'Bed & Breakfast', would my brothers and I be able to seek refuge here for the night until one of us are ready to walk into town?" Joseph gestured to the two other men still standing by the SUV who were looking at them from afar.

"Oh, of course! And because of your circumstances, I won't charge you; I'd feel bad if I did. Save your money for when you get your car fixed." Serah gave him a warm smile, unlatching the lock on the door and opening it wide.

Joseph motioned for his brothers to come forth while he continued to talk to you.

"That is very kind of you, my dear. May I ask, what is your name? It's silly of me for not asking our host's name."

She then made way for the three men to enter her house and they huddled in the open space living room.

"My name's Serah, and I'll be your host. I've got some chicken and corn soup that's just settling and will be ready to serve. I also have spares bedrooms upstairs if you'll follow me!" Serah led the three men to the rooms and let them choose a room for themselves while also being introduced to the two men, John and Jacob.

Jacob was the eldest Seed brother while Joseph was the middle child, and John being the youngest. Jacob served in the army and was a hardened soldier; John used to be a lawyer while Joseph claims to be 'The Father'. He preached about the gifts of God and how God would occasionally speak to him or give him visions about 'the Collapse'. Serah was never really religious; she never cared for religion but never stopped anyone who did. She politely listened to Joseph talk about this 'Project at Eden's Gate' and how he and his brothers have come to Hope County to save as many people as he can before the collapse because that is what God has told him.

Serah started to serve the Seed brothers the soup when John spotted Alpine walk into the dining area.

"Oh, and who is this little guy?" John asked while petting the white feline.

"That's Alpine; he was a stray when I found him as a kitten. He was so small and malnourished, but he stole my heart the second I saw him. He's my little fur baby." Serah picked Alpine up into her arms and cuddled him for a bit.

The four of them ate, Joseph and Serah doing most of the talking, John contributing now and then while Jacob grunted in acknowledgment. Joseph talked more about Eden's Gate then asked where would be the best place to buy a property big enough to host sermons for him and his followers or 'children' as he called them. Serah answered as many of Joseph's questions but told them that they would have to see sheriff Whitehorse about getting a license to carry when John asked about that.

When dinner was over, Serah grabbed all the empty bowls and was prepping to wash them when John stopped her.

"Please, you've cooked and let us rest for the night for free, the least we could do is wash the dishes. Go and relax, dear."

Serah gave him a sweet smile, nodded, and thanked him before heading for the living room to read a book. Jacob seemed to already have worked out the TV remote, and he and Joseph were flicking through the channels. The sat in silence with only the noise of the dishes being washed in the kitchen to fill in as background noise. The rest of the evening went by with small talk and watching whatever is on TV before the Seed brothers and Serah bid goodnight to each other at around ten.

As Serah was about to enter her room, she was stopped by Joseph yet again.

"I'd like to thank you again, Serah. It seems God has led us to you, and to be blessed with your kindness and hospitality. Hopefully, in weeks to come, we'll see you again. Goodnight, dear." With that, Joseph went into his room, leaving Serah in the little hallway who was touched by his words.

As Serah did her nightly routine and hopped into bed, she had a nightmare of an explosion and the world on fire.

Thank you for reading this short chapter!

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jfg22 · 4 years

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The more I read into asexuality. The more I realize I’m asexual af. I’m definitely demisexual and graysexual more specifically. Also hearing my friend’s friend talk about her kinks is like whoa I have never felt more asexual because I’m not interested at all in talking about sex or kinks.

I have spent numerous time in a male strip club thinking I am in no way sexually attractive to men in that setting. Sure they are aesthetically pleasing but I wasn’t thinking I want to get to know any of them better. Yet I’ve been to a female strip club and I’m aroused but also weirded out because I respect women and I don’t know what is the level of inappropriate touching in that setting. In addition, to this I also find some transwomen and transmen beautiful af. In fact, I have made out with a transwomen and I also made out with lesbians. That being said I find certain cis-hetero men and cis-women attractive but....that doesn’t mean I necessarily mean I want to have sex with them.

And yes I’ve had a boyfriend but I’ve no interest in having one at the moment. I have no interest in having sex with anyone right now. Not even with myself! I need some semblance of bond, attraction etc. I remember having sex with my ex boy-friend and towards the end of the relationship I wasn’t even remotely sexually aroused. I also had a lot of male hookups but I didn’t really care to have a relationship with them because they were kind of assholes.

I always thought what is wrong with me but maybe I’m just me. Pansexual, asexual hot mess of a person. lol. I tried dating apps and I can’t say that I found myself attracted to many people. I thought maybe they’re cute but that doesn’t mean I wanted to jump the gun and have sex with random people. There was one I liked but he didn’t like me back enough because he ghosted me. The other one was semi-attractive but in the long run I can’t say that I cared to be a relationship with him either. He was just sort of vanilla and boring. I’m fairly certain I can’t be with another white guy again... unless he’s some sort of other race. For the record my ex was Polish American. I always have this hang up of oh god does he like me? Or am I fulfilling some sort of a weird Latina fetish this white guy has? Meaning does he think I’m girlfriend material or he thinks i’m good enough to fuck and that’s it. Maybe I’ve had bad experiences with white American males but you get my point. It’s just psychologically exhausting to deal with that shit. And I don’t want to deal with that again. At least I knew from my ex that he loved me for who I was at the time we were together. I remember he was my friend before I developed feelings for him.

It should be noted that I’m generally picky as fuck. Meaning I like what I like. I find dark hair attractive and dark eyes. Generally don’t find blue or green eyes attractive in the least bit or blonde or red hair for that matter. Science says you like people genetically similar. I myself have dark hair and eyes by the way. I generally think some Asian men are hot as fuck. Maybe because I hooked up with a Filipino guy who looked like an Asian Joseph Gordon Levitt but shit when my friend said we looked similar I didn’t see it until she pointed it out. Also I spoke to him long enough to be like oh we have things in common this is cool! Again....bonding. Which also explains why my love language is quality time AND physical touching comes second.

I had a sort of one night stand but I had already been talking to him for awhile before we hooked up. He dumped me but looking back I didn’t like him in the long run because he came back around and I thought he was needier than I was. I’m needy for the record so there can only be room for one needy-ish in a relationship! In my defense after therapy I am not as needy as before....I can’t say this with certainty for the mere fact that I haven’t been in a serious relationship in a long ass time. Like I don’t even know how long ago that was... maybe 10 years ago? smeh.

As I look back I can’t say I’m into hooking up either. Yes I had a few guys I found sexually attractive but this was only after we bonded on some level. So before you go on thinking I’m a slut or weird....know that I can count all the men I’ve slept with on one hand. Also the idea of dating 2 people at the same time is kind of repulsive to me for some reason. I’m not ruling it out or judging people who do but it’s not my style for sure.

In terms of sexual attraction things I find attractive are arbitrary. Yes I find dark hair and dark eyes attractive, but that doesn’t mean I can’t like a guy with hazel eyes. My ex had hazel eyes and light brown hair btw. Also I know I say I like tall guys but I’ve had sex with guys who are shorter and in no way doesn’t that mean I rule out anyone below 6 feet tall. As long as they are an inch taller than me I’m ok with that. And here is where it gets arbitrary as fuck. I have made out with lesbians who have dark hair and fair skin but I made out with a black trans women. Again I’m not ruling gender expression out. I definitely not interested in dating apps of any kind. I noticed I’m more productive when I’m not in a relationship.

Also I am not interested in getting married or having kids. I know women my age are either dying to get married or are married with kids. I can’t say I’m the type of person that was planning their wedding dress since I was a little girl. Definitely not ruling it out the possibility but, I’m not in a rush to get married by a certain age. In fact, I’d be happy just finding someone who isn’t an asshole and treats me right. It’s funny one of cis-hetero female friends asks me if I”m every having kids and my answer has always been the same. Maybe I haven’t met the right person, but I honestly can’t say I have my biological clock ticking telling me to have a child anytime soon. The idea of having one is daunting af. As a survivor of sexual abuse, all the racist and transphobic/homophobic shit that’s been going on my entire life I can honestly say I think it’s rather sadistic to bring a child into this world. Not to mention the fact that global warming will fuck up the planet and I’m not sure if that’s going to be reversible but rather just extend our quality of life for a few years. People are assholes. I’ve been hurt many times. I’m sure I’ve hurt people too not even meaning to. I have no desire to bring a child into this hell hole we call a planet.

On a more positive note, I’m perfectly happy being single. When I think of the future potential relationship. I want someone to love me unconditionally. Someone kind, open minded, tolerant of my LGBTQ friends/family, (I can’t be dating no transphobes or homophobes, the only phobia permitted is germophobia!) generous to others (not just myself), thoughtful, humble, attractive by my standards. Mostly someone who will be there for me till one of us dies. Someone who sticks around even when life gets hard. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes. And I know for a fact I can get that. It’s not even the law of attraction it’s just a certainty that I know within myself that I will be with someone of a different ethnic race than mine. I’d also like to have 2 cats and a cute little puppy. Preferably one that looks like a little fuzzy brown stuffed bear. I’d like to have a cute cozy house. I don’t desire a mansion. I need someone who isn’t going to be a little pretentious fuck and is okay with not having the most expensive bullshit because in the long run that doesn’t matter. I know I am a writer and I can live off that eventually. I just need to buckle down and finish my shit which is taking longer than anticipated. I procrastinate writing several things (like this post.hehe) but also I like reading things to make me a better writer. That being said maybe I’m not as weird as I thought I’m just fantastically pansexual, asexual, unique af. Happy Pride month y’all!

To my LGBT friends and people reading this, I love you and desire that one day we can live in a world where you no longer have to fear for your safety and people will love and respect you for who you are regardless of how you identify or who you are attracted to. I have faith that the younger generation will be more tolerant than past generations. I hope to instill that in my nieces. I remember I used to have a shirt that said “Labels are for jars and you are not a jar.” I don’t remember what happened to it but I can honestly say that always stuck with me.

Today is my best friends birthday and 8 days ago it was my cousin’s birthday and I can honestly say that I have loved them regardless of what anyone says about them. And I will stand up proudly for them if anyone starts saying transphobic/homophobic shit. I will love them and respect them until the day I die. (Hopefully that won’t be anytime soon). I am blessed to have them both in my life and teach me to be more mindful of what is going on in the world. And an overall better human being. I take the life lessons they teach me with me for the rest of my life and hope that I can be of somewhat comfort to them in knowing that regardless of what happens to us they will never lose that love, appreciation and respect I have for them.

#Pride #pride month #asexual #pansexaul #me af tho #confessions #truthbombs #loveislove #happy pride 🌈#relationships #realizations

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fredweesleyismyslut · 5 years

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Inappropriate gestures pt.2

So, here’s part 2 y’all and I wrote this like 3 times because the first I didn’t like and the second one my dumbass had accidentally deleted so please enjoy this one I really tried super hard and I’m sorry if it’s not great. I’m also sorry if it seems like the relationship is kinda slow right now because I don’t want them to like jump into it and i guess it is kinda fast since they’ve only known each other for a month but idk dudes, tell me what you think. Anyway enough of be blabbering like an idiot enjoy this and btw there probably will be a part 3 to this maybe idk. @wangmangagavroche, I remembered to tag you, I really hope you like this and aren’t disappointed lol. Anywho,love you guys!

You had been working for and living with Sirius for almost a month now. It was a very pleasant job and Harry had grown and started becoming more playful overall as a baby. He had started to be able to take a step or two before he fell which had caused Sirius much pride and laughter at the sight of his godchild, basically son, walk. You and Sirius had also grown closer and talked every now and again after putting Harry to bed. You didn’t know why but you liked being around Sirius whether it was just sitting in silence together or watching harry. Today was Saturday and the day before Sirius had asked if you would like to go to the park with harry to get some fresh air. the sun was barely up yet but you decided to get out of bed early to make breakfast and pack the food you had prepared for the picnic. Putting on a robe over your night clothes you quietly made your way down the stairs and put the food into containers. As you did so, you heard the slightest sound of music flowing from downstairs in the basement. After finishing up your meal packing, you slowly walked to the stairwell to hear the music better and realized that it was a soft piano sound. Walking down the steps softly as to not make a creaking noise you found Sirius in the basement sitting on the couch. He hadn’t seemed to notice you as you walked over to see what he was doing so early in the morning. He was staring at what seemed like a photobook though you couldn’t make out the faces you assumed that it was a picture of him and his three friends, well I guess you could say two counting out Peter, since their were four boys wearing Gryffindor uniforms. As to not startle him you quietly sat next to him and coughed to let him know of your presence. Sirius looked up from the pictures and his face that was strewn into a frown had brightened up. “Sorry, did I wake you with the noise?” he asked, worry creasing his brow. “No, not at all. I woke up to prepare the food for the picnic.” Sirius hummed slightly as he smiled at you, “This is random but I just wanted to thank you for staying with us this long, I think I..I mean Harry and me of course, really appreciate it and like having you here.” You blushed at his previous stutter but maintained your face, “of course, I love being here with you two also.” You looked down at the photobook and smiled as you recognized Sirius’ face staring up at you, although without the lines of worry in his face and looking carefree. Sirius looked down and chuckled slightly, “Obviously, the handsome one is me.” You laughed and said, “Really? You mean this one?” you said jokingly pointing at the face of a boy whom you knew as Remus. Sirius burst with laughter at the comment and shoved your shoulder softly. “Oh, look at the time. harry’s probably woken up by now, I didn’t notice since I was being bullied by y/n.” said Sirius as he gave you a mischievous smile. Laughing you poked his side, “Says the one who’s been bullying me since I arrived here.” Sirius beamed as he suddenly grabbed your hand to pull you upstairs, “Come on you sloth we’ve got a whole day ahead of us.” Blushing as he held your hand you followed him up the stairs, wondering if your heart was beating as loudly as you thought. Getting ready you decided to grab a dress to wear to the park. Is this fine? you thought to yourself as you twirled in the mirror to look. As you were about to change thinking the dress was a bit overboard you heard Sirius’ voice from the doorway, “Common slowpoke, we’ve gotta get to the park.”

Giving one last doubtful look in the mirror you grabbed your shoes and walked down to the kitchen to find Sirius carrying Harry in his arms. Sirius looked at you and then took a double take before grabbing the bags as you grabbed the lunch. In the car Harry stared out the window and giggled happily as he saw a group of birds flying, “Harry those are birds.” “Bear Bear.” harry copied and although it was incorrect you laughed at his attempt. Once, at the park Sirius laid out the picnic blanket under tree with shade where you could see the lake beneath you glimmering under the sunlight as if there were diamonds underneath the water. “Maybe we can go to a beach next time...” Sirius said as he stared at the water. “I think I’d like that.” Sirius looked over at you as you played with the hems of the dress wondering if you should’ve worn something else. “You look really beautiful in that dress is what Harry told me just now.” Sirius said as he leaned his face up to Harry mouth, “He also wants me to tell you that you’re a...wait Harry are you sure? He wants me to tell you that he’s glad you wore that dress because it suits your pretty face.” You felt the ends of your mouth lift up into a smile as you leaned over, “Why thank you Harry, such a good looking gentleman.” Sirius beamed up from his lashes as he sat Harry down between his legs and laid down. Harry used Sirius’ shoulder to pull himself up and take a couple steps before falling. He started to sob softly as you quickly grabbed him and looked over at Sirius who was chuckling softly, “It’s good to learn to fail as long as he gets back up. I only want good things for him since his parents...” His voice trailed off at the last sentence as a crease furrowed his brow. Not knowing whether you were stepping a line you reached over grabbed his hand and looked away towards the lake not wanting him to see your blushing face. An old couple walked down across from you as you heard them say, “What a cute couple. i remember when we were like that.” Your face heated quickly as you retracted your hand but Sirius reached across and grabbed your hand, “What’s so wrong with them thinking we’re a couple?” he asked sheepishly which surprised you. You had never seen him blush but in this moment Sirius seemed to be blushing as he looked down busying his other hand with tickling Harry. “Well...we’re not.” “Then, w-why don’t we try.” You paused as you looked up to see Sirius leaning over as he tilted your chin. Placing his lips on yours he pecked your lips softly before quickly turning away. Summoning the courage you grabbed his chin and pulled him back to your lips as you entwined your fingers in his hair and kissed him, tasting his toothpaste from this morning and the smell of his cologne. “We could..y’know try I guess.” you whispered so quietly you didn’t even know if he heard it. Harry in between the two of you had fallen asleep with his fingers closed around your finger. “I think we should head back, slowpoke.” You slapped his shoulder softly not liking the new nickname but finding it endearing coming from your new kinda boyfriend who also happened to be your boss. There was gonna be a lot for you to think over once you got home and your life was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting with this new chapter.

#Sirius Black #sirius black imagines #sirius x reader #sirius fluff #sirius black x reader #harry potter #Harry Potter smut #Harry Potter fluff #Harry Potter imagines #Fred Weasley #Fred Weasley imagine #imagines #x reader #x reader imagines #x reader smut

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wavyzen · 5 years

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★ lee felix scenario 01 ★

disclaimer: none of the photo’s in the moodboard above belong to me

update: this will be revised soon due to bad writing quality ;(

an: hi friends this is my first scenario so I’m sorry in advance if it’s trash and if felix is a bit ooc, anyways I hope y’all enjoy

prompt: Why are you so clingy people will think we’re dating- I know we are but you’re the one who wants it to be secret you moron! by shittyaus

pairing: lee felix x foreign idol s/o

genre: fluff

word count: 1052

You let out an abrupt inhale as Felix slid his hand into yours. You promptly whipped your head around the cramped establishment, making sure that no one else saw the two of you. It was well past 11 at night, so the only other customers still lingering around was an older couple too enraptured in each other on the other side of the coffee shop and a university student studying for an exam a couple tables down. Letting out a sigh of relief you waved your free hand in front of him hoping to take his attention away from his phone. After a couple of seconds passed by, he finally looked only to shove his phone in your face. It was an instagram video of a roblox egg dancing around in a circle to ‘un poco loco’ from coco. Unable to control yourself, a couple of snorts left your lips as you used one of your hands to silence yourself. After calming down about a minute later, you placed your hand back into your lap and whispered “You know we can’t do this here.”, as quietly as humanly possible in order to not disturb the people around you. Felix set his phone down and leaned forward cupping your face in his hands, causing your heart to speed up a considerable amount.

“Love, there's barely anyone in here, no one is going to notice us.” Sighing and placing his hands back on the table, you took your glasses off of your face and placed them back into their case.

“I know there isn’t, but I just don’t want to risk you getting into any trouble. Or my parents and manager somehow figuring out.” you whispered back with a small pout on your lips. With the both of you being up and coming musicians and performers, maintaining a clean image was of iminent importance.

The two of you had met during the prior year in an airport when both of your flights were grounded due to inclement weather. Immediately recognizing you from social media and being an avid fan of your music, Felix decided to walk over to where you were sitting and asked for a photo for their Instagram. Taking your headphones off and pausing the episode of buzzfeed unsolved you had been watching on your phone, you shyly agreed. After talking a bit more and sharing some quality memes, a friendship was quickly formed. Once it was time to depart for your seperate flights, you exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. The instagram post had surprisingly received a lot of positive feedback with lots of support from stays. Being a stay yourself (Felix didn’t know about this until months later), this made you very happy.

You had been in the industry for about a year and were gaining much success as an upcoming r&b and rap artist. Some achievements you had made included being on the most recent XXL Freshman class, having a single on the Billboard top 100, and lastly collaborating with artists such as Chance the Rapper, Lil Yachty, Gorillaz and Vince Staples. You were a fresh face unapologetically discussing issues such as racism and poverty in your music, what wasn’t there to love? (you were met with a fair share of criticism though of course ☹, but the good feedback outweighed the bad so it’s all good ☺️) Although different from other artists, you remained out of the social spotlight majority of the time to focus on pursuing a music degree and working on your craft. You also prided yourself on being an introvert and did your best to stay away from drama and scandals, for it would ruin your squeaky clean image. Unfortunately, due to the both of you being artist’s, other than texting and facetiming you weren’t able to interact with Felix much. There was a time when you were on tour in Seoul with a couple of other artists from [Country-Name} and got the chance to attend one of his music shows. Other than that though, this was the first time you had to spend with him in person since the day the two of you had met. After being gifted with another musical success on your latest single a couple of months back and finally getting to enjoy your summer break from university, you decided to pay your closest friend a visit.

Your relationship blurred the lines between awfully close friends and lovers, with Felix’s clinginess and public displays of affection not being the true problem. That was JYP’s 3 year dating ban on newer artists and your parents and managers distaste towards you dating anyone, fore it may distract you from your studies and career.

Felix got up out of his seat across from you and slid into your booth wrapping an arm around your clothed shoulder and sliding his hand into yours once more..

“I promise no one will see okay, it’s a weeknight barely anyone is out at this hour.” Playfully rolling your eyes you gave in and rested your head on his shoulder, occasionally snickering and playfully hitting his arm as he showed you more stupid videos.

The next morning you awoke to hundreds of notifications on all of your social media, meaning your worst fears had been realized: someone had noticed the two of you last night. Images of you and Felix sitting in the coffee shop and of him walking you back to your hotel flooded your feed. But to your pleasant surprise they were met with almost little to no negative feedback. Your fans and stays were hugely supportive of the relationship (if you could even call it that, the two of you weren’t even official yet), already creating fan pages and ship names. After heaving a huge sigh of relief and messaging your parents and manager to clear things up, you get a message from none other than Felix.

crackhead: i just had a meeting with JYP and he agreed to talk to the media, i told you everything would be alright😄😉

you: whatever idiot, you better just be glad this was received well.

crackhead: btw can I ask you something?

you: no

you: yes what is it

crackhead: be my gf or we aren’t friends anymore

you: is that a threat? and sure

#lee felix imagine #lee felix scenario #lee felix drabble #stray kids imagine #felix fluff #felix scenario #felix imagine #felix x reader #stray kids x reader #-stray kids #-lee felix #-felix #-fluff

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side-effect-of-the-meds · 5 years

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Is Erin still bipolar in your fem ‘verse? If so, any hcs/fics about that? (Btw so sorry if this is a duplicate, tumblr crashed when I submitted it the first time so I wasn’t sure if it went through :/)

Thanks so much for the ask, love! Y’all ask about some crazy interesting things that I never would have thought about. I feel like this got a bit long but I just really really like talking about Erin. So here you are, little anon!

Idk if bipolar is the correct term for Erin but I think I understand what you’re talking about.

The truth is, Erin has always felt things. She’s just usually really good at hiding it. However, ever since Ania first barreled into her life, Erin’s been having a hard time keeping it together. She used to tell herself that it was a side effect of the meds but some part of her knew the truth

It’s terrifying. A pretty face and a filthy mouth were all it took to shatter the carefully constructed persona Erin had built herself as a defense mechanism.

For the first time in years, Erin wants. I mean really wants. Every time she sees the flash of Ania’s sharp grin she can feel her legs starting to tremble. The foxes usually attribute it to her withdrawal. Those are the only times Erin is thankful for the smokescreen of her drugs. But no. Erin sees Ania out on the court and she can feel her heart wrenching every time she gets slammed against the walls. There’s nothing she can do though. It’s just the way the game is played and she has to stand there, forcing herself through withdrawal while watching her family get pummeled.

It’s always hurt to watch Aaron getting trucked by men far bigger than him but watching Ania face off against men like that makes it feel like there’s someone ripping Erin’s heart out of her chest. She knows what Ania faced back at Millport (if you haven’t read my og post on the girls, Ania is a victim of rape. Some stuff happens while she’s on the run and then Hernandez catches the captain of the Millport team taking advantage of Ania and gets him expelled. It’s the reason why he recommends Ania for the fox line) and she knows that Ania is afraid of men too.

When Erin comes home from Easthaven and finds out about Christmas at Evermore, every single nerve in her body is screaming. She left Ania for one month and came home to find that her junkie spent two weeks getting beaten, bruised, and raped by the same psychotic whore Erin promised to protect her from.

She is fully prepared to fly out to Evermore and kill Fem!Riko herself but Ania insists on breaking her first. As much as she still wants to end Riko, Erin’s want, need, to please Ania is far stronger. If Ania told her to walk off the edge of the roof, Erin would do it. She stuffs her anger deep inside her and tries to piece her apathetic facade back together.

That’s when things start getting too much for her. Seeing Ania working so hard to pretend that Christmas hadn’t happened ends up chipping away even more at her. Erin knows what it’s like to have to shove her past aside. She knows what it’s like to try to forge ahead despite it all. Sometimes Erin catches herself staring at Ania and feeling a deep sense of…. Erin doesn’t know what. Spoiler alert: it’s empathy. Erin is learning to feel empathy. She just doesn’t know how to express it.

And then Ania asks her about sex. She asks how Erin can sleep with Ronnie after everything that she’s been through. The truth is it’s hard. Erin had to shove all her doubts deep down. She had to let herself want and its so hard. That was then, but now? With Ania around, Erin feels like she’s suffocating.

Erin tells her as much. Not the suffocating bit. She’s not ready to admit that bit but she thinks Ania already knows. She’s already told her she’d eat her out. There’s no hiding anymore. She tells her that if she wants to get better, Ania must learn to let herself want. She has to learn to love herself. Erin might never get to love Ania the way she deserves to be loved but she hopes that at least Ania can learn to do it herself.

One thing leads to another and Erin isn’t 100% sure how it got to this point but she finds herself getting the only thing she’s ever truly wanted. She starts spending most nights between Ania’s legs and it’s so much better than she ever imagined. When she sends Ania away so she can finish on her own, she feels so cold. It isn’t just her body that Erin misses, though. Every time Ania leaves, she takes a piece of Erin with her. Erin’s chest feels so cold and empty when Ania’s gone.

Alone in her car, Erin is full of anger. She’s seen the way Kevin winds an arm around her shoulders when the others aren’t watching. She’s seen the way their pinkies intertwine when they walk back to the dorms from class. She’s seen the way Ania buries her face in Kevin’s neck as he carries her, scolding her for nearly blowing her legs out. Erin is just a phase and one day Ania will leave her, or so she believes. Erin spends far too many hours thinking about Kevin and Ania’s exy prodigy children. Tears sting her eyes at the thought of Ania asking her to be the maid of honor at their wedding. Erin drives out to a field in the middle of nowhere and screams at the top of her lungs and cries until she can’t anymore. At practice, she aims her rebounds at Kevin’s head or makes him run the length of the court to fetch the ball.

Her feelings only intensify with each passing day. Baltimore happens and something inside Erin breaks. She’d been hiding her feelings from Ania this whole time. Maybe if she told Ania the truth she’d stop running. Or maybe she’d run faster than ever.

By some miracle, Allison decides to stop being a bitch for once in her life. She convinces the rest of the foxes to leave Ania and Erin alone at the cabin. Erin scowls at Allison sly smirk but thanks the universe for this opportunity.

Erin helps strip Ania and has her lay on the bed. She spends the next two hours kissing, licking, and nipping at every one of Ania’s old scars. She trails feather-light kisses over the new ones and draws patterns across her ruined skin with light fingers. She kisses away the tears streaming down Ania’s face and lavishes her with as much care as she can muster. Erin can not tell Ania she loves her so she pours every ounce of her love into her actions, hoping, praying, that Ania will understand.

She does. Ania matches Erin’s care by kissing over the scars racing up and down her forearms. She runs her hands over Erin’s thighs and lays her head on her stomach because she knows Erin is self-conscious about them.

Letting herself feel these things is simultaneously the best and worst thing Erin could do. In doing so, she released a floodgate of emotions in general.

Following the death of Riko, Erin feels so much more than she thought she could.

She’s still growing accustomed to the love that fills her every time she sees Ania when the others start. She sees Aaron and feels pride welling in her heart. She sees Nicky and feels appreciation flood her senses. She sees Kevin and Allison and is overwhelmed by her admiration for them. When Erin sees Dan, Matt, and Renee she can not deny how grateful she feels knowing what they do for Ania. Wymack is the worst of all. When Erin sees Wymack she feels safe. It’s disorienting. Men have only ever hurt her but his presence soothes a savage part of her soul.

Unfortunately, Erin also discovers a wide range of negative emotions. Anxiety builds whenever her family so much as leaves her line of sight. Jealousy blinds her whenever Katelyn makes Aaron smile, something Erin has never been able to do for her brother. Bitterness cuts through her almost good mood at the thought of having to untangle herself from Ania to get to afternoon practice.

Erin somehow manages to convert them all into the emotion she’s the most well-acquainted with: anger.

Ania bears the brunt of it.

If Erin isn’t directing her anger at an exy ball, she’s channeling it into hurling objects across the room and snapping at whoever dares come near her. Ania is no longer a Wesninski by name but there is no denying that she is her father’s daughter. Of all the things that Ania had inherited from him, his fiery temper had caused her the most trouble.

When Erin snaps at Ania, she can never stop herself from snapping back. Fights between the two are more common than people expect. Wymack, however, is not surprised. The two of them combined have the communication skills of a sack of potatoes. Most of Erin and Ania’s communication is non-verbal. Their emotions manifest in the darting of their eyes, the twitch of their fingers, and their unconscious movements. Blinded by rage, neither of them picks up on the others’ cues, severing all communication between the two.

They make up quickly though. Erin can’t ever stay mad at Ania. Ania can’t ever stay away from Erin.

There are times when things do get too far out of hand.

Stress has been building up in Erin for weeks now. Ania can see it in the tension coiling in Erin’s muscles and the harsh glint in her eyes. She doesn’t know what’s wrong so she simply offers Erin her space. It doesn’t work. If anything, it only riles her up even more. After two and a half weeks of Erin snapping and snarling at everyone around her, Ania caves and decides to take the bull by its horns. She tries to talk to Erin about things that don’t matter but Erin isn’t having it. Ania can feel her blood boiling. She knows that there are times when Erin needs to sort things through on her own but she isn’t even trying this time. She’s just being stubborn. As her anger builds, she starts to slip. Neither of them remembers what exactly Ania said. They just know that one minute Erin was sitting at her desk and the next she had Ania by the collar of her shirt, her other hand raised in a closed fist.

In that moment, Ania forgot who was holding her. She saw only the flash of blonde hair and the fiery glint of hazel eyes.

“Please, Mom! I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I swear,” Ania sobbed. The hand holding Ania’s shirt released its grip and Ania scrambled backward. It took her a few minutes to calm down enough to remember where she was. As she came back to herself, Ania saw who it was that grabbed her.

Erin was standing there, staring at the hand she had raised. Tears streamed down her blank face. “Ania, I-,” she choked.

“Erin? Erin, it’s okay. You didn’t mean to. I know you didn’t mean to” Ania said as she started to crawl back to her. Erin saw Ania moving towards her and stumbled backwards, her chest heaving as she struggled to breathe.

“I was going to- I- I was going to hurt you,” she whispered. Erin backed into a corner and slid to the floor. “I was going to hurt you.”

The girls sit in their respective corners, Ania staring at Erin, Erin staring at her still curled fist.

“Erin?” she said softly. Erin pried her eyes off her hand to look at Ania. “Erin, come here.”

“No.”

“Erin-”

“No.”

It takes them another half an hour before either of them move. When they do, Erin grabs her keys and heads for the door. Ania goes next door to find Kevin. She tells him what happened and he looks ready to cry. He ushers her inside and drags his computer out to the living room. They curl up on the couch and watch exy reruns until Ania falls asleep, curled in his arms.

The next morning, Ania returns to her room to find Erin getting ready for morning practice. She refuses to look Ania in the eye. Ania plants herself in her path.

“Erin,” she pleads.

“Stop.” Erin leaves Ania lone in their room. Erin refuses to speak to Ania for the remainder of the week. She crashes at Wymack’s place and he doesn’t pry. On Saturday night, Erin breaks. She tells him about what she did and by the end of it, she’s crying hysterically. She lets him wrap his arms around her and hold her together the way he did after the Binghampton game.

He leaves her wrapped in a blanket on the couch with the t.v. on to make a call. Bee shows up twenty minutes later with Erin’s favorite hot chocolate mix. They spend the next few hours talking about healthy coping mechanisms for stress. They talk about all the emotions Erin’s been feeling and how to manage them.

It takes all the courage Erin can muster to return to the dorms that morning. She opens the door to find Ania laying in Erin’s bed. In her hand, she clutches one of Erin’s sweatshirts. Tear stains mar her face.

“Ania,” Erin says. Her eyes immediately shoot open.

“Erin,” she replies, her voice choked with emotion. Erin knelt down beside the bed and cupped Ania’s face in her hands.

Pressing their foreheads together, she whispered, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Erin still gets mad sometimes. She still picks fights with Ania but she never bottles her emotions up like that again. It’s not that she cares about emotions eating away at her. No, she just doesn’t ever want to scare Ania like that again.

#just a pipe dream #erin minyard #ania josten #reveal to me your deepest desires #aftg au #tfc au #all for the game au #all for the gay #all for the game #the foxhole court au #the foxhole court #the foxes #the monsters #fem!andreil

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linatini-blog · 5 years

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welcome GUEST, to ʟᴇᴀɴʙᴇᴀɴᴢ.ᴄᴏᴍ. ⋮ blog entry #1. ⋮ introducing me.

who am i? i guess i need to let y’all in on a few things. go on and pour yourself a cup of your favorite coffee, tea [gross btw], drink, and get comfortable because.... here are my seven deadly sins.

ON PRIDE. ⧽ i guess if you’re wondering about me because you can’t seem to mind ur business (lol jk), we should start with my ego. honestly, it’s so difficult for me to swallow my pride. i hate being wrong and even when i know i’m wrong, i’ll pretend i’m right. maybe it’s because i’ve been wrong about my birth parents, and i never wanna feel like that again. who the fuck knows? i’m humble, though. i came from nothing and a lot of people don’t deserve what they have. they don’t even appreciate it.

ON GREED. ⧽ i take an apple device with me everywhere i go and it’s not healthy, but hey. when i was younger i would sneak on computers or steal my foster siblings’ phone to do extensive searches on my birth parents. though i no longer do that, staying connected and delving deep into the dark web has become something like an escape for me for me.. i don’t know what i’d do if i wasn’t able to do that.

ON LUST. ⧽ everyone’s favorite sin. well, i know myself very well, i’m comfortable in my skin and i’m very open-minded, so yeah.. i’m a sexual being. sex is.. exhilarating and if i’m pushed to my limits and taken to a new high, i’d lose my self-control.. has yet to happen.

ON ENVY. ⧽ none of my close friends/family have to worry about me stealing anything from them. if you occupy that space in my heart, you’re pretty much safe ‘cause i’m not built like that. have i ever wanted something i couldn’t have? well i think we’ve all wanted something we couldn’t have though [cue victoria justice]. but honestly, i don’t need to scheme for anyone/anything and if i am... 9/10 they’re already mine.

ON GLUTTONY. ⧽ if i could eat one thing for the rest of my life it would probably be yellow apples.. i know it isn’t filling but they’re my favorite and they’re kind of soft to bite into and sweet with the perfect hint of sour. so in other words they’re me. and if there’s any inanimate items that i would have to have in abundance it would have to be money. money can buy you the world and i know how shitty life is without it.

ON WRATH . ⧽ when i was four i still had very high hopes that my crackhead birth parents would come back for me. i thought they’d just left me for a bit. i was put in a group home a few months later with the worst fucking kids God could’ve placed on this Earth and was bullied a lot. i became reclusive and quiet and remained that way for most of my childhood. i don’t really care about much anymore to be angry, minus pompous brats. i’ve knocked a few prestige front teeth out in my younger days. everyone has the potential to perform immoral acts if pushed to that limit.

ON SLOTH . ⧽ if i could choose another occupation, maybe i’d be a computer engineer for NASA. i’m good with my hands and head. :) lmao, but there’s really nothing stopping me from doing this, i’m just focused on another things. a lot of people would say that busting your ass every single day makes you a hustler, but i think having a clear plan of what you wanna do with your life and and doing the best that you can 4/7 days a week to reach that goal does the job too. everyone needs self care days. and if it’s not obvious yet, i’d do whatever it takes to achieve financial security. anyway because i sit on my ass most times, i don’t really enjoy being lazy. i try to get out and get as much daylight as a can. i even do a lot of my work outside. in my spare time i’m probably out and about doing something stupid by myself or with my family.

kind of sick of talking about myself so that’s it for now. see you next time.

xoxo, 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖓𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖓𝖟.

#BLOG. ⋮ ⧽ 𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊.#DEV. ⋮ ⧽ 𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖆’𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊.

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aj-draws · 6 years

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Hey so this is dedicated to a dear friend of mine

yEAH @confinesofpersonalknowledge I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU COOL HUMAN!

So I know you’re going through a tough time, and that post about you being catcalled reminded me a story/memory that I felt I needed to share. This story is very personal to me and I’m vv nervous to be sharing it with you guys bc I’ve never rlly done anything personal or deep BUT by doing this I hope to offer you at least some kind of positivity...?

Thana, I just want you to know that you’re not alone...Because I have dealt with a similar problem.

[[Btw in this story there isn’t anything gruesome or scary, just an experience of catcalling on a very small level (that perhaps not be as serious as whatever happened to you) that still ended on a positive note. If catcalling is an uncomfortable topic for you, feel free to scroll past this, but if you’re up to hear a story about body positivity and how I conquered rude ppl then this story is for you :)]]

It was that time of year. Everyone’s blasting music from ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’, ppl are making as many skeletons memes as possible, adults are scared and kids are reveling.

Heck yeah, it was Halloween.

Halloween’s awesome, and I’m fortunately still around that age where if I went trick-or-treating I wouldn’t be judged so badly. But this story began in the beginning of October, when I decided that I was going to be Wonder Woman for Halloween.

The movie had just come out and I was still being a huge fangirl and Gal Gadot is a gorgeous queen so I thought why not?? The costume took me an entire month to make but I managed to get it done! And I was super proud. I was really, really excited because it was my first Halloween where I wasn’t lazy and just bought a costume. So I wore my costume to school...and well...

Ok, so you’re probably like ‘this is where the catcalling happened right??’ well you’re correct! But there wasn’t a specific moment that I was catcalled. In general, I just experienced a lot of nasty students just being a little...weird.

It started with the stares. The ones I remember, the ones that really stuck out in my mind...they were not from amazement. I think...I think it was like they were checking me out?? And yeah, I suppose I do have some redeeming physical features, it’s in my genes, and my gay friends love to point it out and joke around with me, but I still found it endearing.

But this...was different. It was almost like an invasion of my body, an invasion of my privacy-like I was doing something wrong by wearing a flipping costume.

And something I truly remembered that stuck out in my memory was that noise. I was walking through the hallway and I hear some voices, and a group of boys (that I believe were from my grade I don’t remember) walk past me. Then it came.

A whistle, loud and sharp.

I hung my head. U g h

What was worse were the comments, when people actually came and talked to me. There were students that I didn’t even know, students in one grade below mine, coming up to me and asking that one question,

‘Don’t you think that’s a little...um y’know...too revealing?’

Like holy heck. Y’all have no idea how much I hated that question. I believe I was asked that twice throughout the day?? But it was just so disrespectful. Like wooow haha *claps hands sarcastically* my knees and shoulders/collarbone are just too scandalous for you, huh?

And it felt bad...really bad. But things got better. So much better, I promise you. Though that negativity is still buried deep in my head, it’s the prominent, positive memories that made that Halloween unforgettable-in a good way.

Mostly, it would have to my friends irl. They are really hecking gay and I love them with all my heart. When I first walked into my homeroom class, the students there (it was French class and I’ve been taking the language for 3 years so ik the ppl well there) immediately complimented me. My two friends there were dying and repeated called me thiccc 👌👌👌 which was really hilarious XD When my other friend saw me, she told me she was speechless at first before she started to praise the heck out of me ahh I love her

And there were two moments that I also couldn’t forget. One, was when I won the costume contest.

Yep! One of my favorite part of that day. It took place during lunch and I was anxious about taking part in the costume, and when I asked my friends, they just looked me in the eye and yelled, ‘YES’ so I did 😆

And during art class, it was announced that I had won ‘Best Homemade Costume’ which was simply incredible! The pride that swelled in me when I stood up and the students in my class started to congratulate me was great. It was even better because all the students in that class were girls and it kinda made me feel like I did Wonder Woman some justice y’know? It was just nice

But another memory that I can’t forget was in the back of my bus. My friends on the bus congratulated me and complimented my costume and I couldn’t stop smiling. And all the way in the last seat...was a pair of eyes. I tensed up, thinking back to all the stares but I instantly relaxed when I really saw them. They were sparkling, shining. It wasn’t greed or lust, but awe. It was this quiet boy that sat all the way in the back of my bus, and he seemed shy so I hadn’t thought to approach him.

On that day, I gave him a polite smile and waved. He apologies for staring at me, and stammers as he compliments my costume. I nod and give him another grin, saying thank you and asking him if he liked Wonder Woman. And he flashes this bright, geeky grin and then proceeds to announce that, ‘UM YEAH OF COURSE’ and we both continue to have a nice conversation about DC comics and Marvel and he was so kind about it and wowie that was just really great.

So, yeah! Don’t be afraid to be yourself, and wear whatever the flipping heck you want to because you’re a queen/king/or literally just royalty and you deserve praise and compliments once in a while ❤ Be strong, you will get through this.

And ummm lesson is: there’s nothing wrong with geeking out over superheroes 😂😋

I love you all, and I hope you have a lovely day!! 💙💛💖💜

#personal #random #storytime with AJ :D #body positivity #catcalling #basically a message for those that have been catcalled #I promise that you'll be alright

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studylustre · 6 years

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hello carol, on december 30 i will turn 20... god im no longer a teen!!! but i still look 12 though... ppl also treat me like im the maknae of the group. i dont like makeup so i'll be stuck with my babyface until 40 haha. since you are a 20-year-old urself, what do you want to say to us who are about to turn 20 soon?? tips on better adulting? life lessons?? ily btw pls never stop being a great person. my studyblr will never be as bomb af as urs but i try to be like you in a noncopycat way:))))

hello!! oh wowowoww how exciting - i turned 20 on the 1st of november and whilst everything is pretty much the same, it’s so weird to think that i’m entering?? a different era of my life?? that’s so freaky to think about lmao, in the best way possible. anyway, is this like a “20 things i learned at 20″ kinda thing?? bc if so,, i got u (ps this ask is so cute bless u and i love u)

1. choose the people who choose you sounds dumb + obvious but as someone who chased the approval of people who couldn’t care less for a solid part of their high school years, trust me when i say it’s so so important to surround urself with the people who love you unconditionally for you. don’t change urself or make urself into something you’re not for others bc it’s never worth it. and on that note,,,

2. don’t be friends with people for the sake of having “friends”i get a lot of asks about fake friends + toxic friendships and it makes me so sad. you all deserve so much better than to stick with toxic people who hurt you and take you for granted. i know it’s tough and a nerve-wracking process to confront them or leave them, but please stand up for yourselves and don’t let people walk all over you in the name of “friendship”. demand respect, and if they’re unwilling to give it to you, leave them for the people who will. you all deserve wholesome and healthy friendships that leave you feeling fulfilled and happy.

3. work hardagain, seems obvious but when you’re in school/college/whatever it seems like procrastination and general slacking off is the easier + better option. please do yourselves a favour and work hard, even when you don’t feel like it. you owe it to yourself (and specifically your future self, who believe me, will thank you for it) to do well in life, and that comes as a result of hard work.

4. wear sunscreen. seriouslyskincare is SO important and a vital part of that is wearing spf (factor 50 or above, always) to protect your skin. even if you think you won’t care, you probably will when you’re older so just apply some goddamn spf before you leave the house + reapply regularly throughout the day if it’s particularly sunny. it literally takes like 5 seconds and your skin will thank you for it. speaking of skincare….

5. wash your face and invest in skincare that works for youskincare culture was so big in 2017 and i hope this trend continues because skincare is, as previously mentioned, v v v v important. you don’t have to buy the most expensive stuff, but if it whatever you use works well for you, it’s worth investing in. make sure you cleanse your face every morning and every night and moisturise. do a face mask every now and then, and if you wear makeup, never fall asleep with your makeup on or i swear to god i will find you, break into your house and remove your makeup myself bc i am THAT committed to the anti ‘not removing your makeup before bed’ cause. (psst: if you haven’t tried it already, retinoid is a miracle worker and is definitely worth checking out. do your research on it first though bc it’s a time consuming process to work it into your skincare routine)

6. drink!! water!!!!!!y’all,,, staying hydrated is v v important. ik it’s not the most exciting beverage choice out of juice and coffee and tea etc but it’s the best for your body and for your skin, so make sure you drink at least a litre of water a day!! if you want to make it more interesting, you can stick some fruit in, or even cucumber (which is rly nice!!). also, hot water is rly good, especially with lemon and honey in

7. don’t sweat itthis sounds neurotypical af and i don’t want to trivialise your emotions at all, but when it comes to small things like a low grade on one assignment or missing a deadline one time etc, it’s not a big deal. is it ideal? no. but will it affect you dramatically, 20 years from now? also no. it may feel like the end of the world and it might make you sad (which is understandable!!) but don’t work yourself up too much over it because the likelihood of it affecting you a year from now, or even a month or a week, is very very low. sometimes you just have to laugh and move on (and if you cry a little bit while doing so, then that’s your prerogative. i won’t judge you. just keep your chin up high and move on - you’re doing great!!)

8. learn to cookplease don’t be one of those people that turn up to uni and don’t know how to make toast. learn at least one recipe, and learn it well. you should always have at least one recipe under your belt to feed yourself. also, if you haven’t already, learn how to do laundry.

9. if there’s something you want to do but you haven’t because you’ll do it “one day”, do it now. just start. it’s either “one day”, or “day one”. what are you waiting for?

10. take a breakit’s important to work hard but it’s also important to rest when needed. you are not a machine. go for a walk, hang out with friends, bake some cookies, take a bath, do whatever that’s not related to your work. it’ll do you a world of good to distance yourself from your work for a little while - when you come back to it, you’ll be refreshed + ready to get shit done

11. always listen to your gut instincteven if everyone’s telling you otherwise, listen to your instincts. they (your gut lmao) know what they’re talking about, and in my experience, they’re never wrong.

12. know when you’re in the wrong, and apologise for itlisten,,, as a v petty and stubborn person ik this can be a tough pill to swallow but sometimes you just gotta put your pride aside, own up to your mistakes and move on. don’t be that person who can never admit when they’re in the wrong, bc they suck.

13. appreciate the beauty in the little things like sunsets, the night sky, the first snow. everything is temporary and life is a little less stressful and more enjoyable when you slow down and appreciate what’s around you.

14. unless it’s not the norm in your country, always leave a tip.just don’t be one of those assholes that writes shit like “don’t eat yellow snow” in the place of actual money, because as a waitress, i can confirm that everyone in the restaurant will hate you

15. if you want a haircut/dye your hair/change up your look somehow but you’re too nervous in case it “doesn’t suit you”, just do it anyway.hair is just hair and it will grow out. same with makeup - if it doesn’t work out, you can just remove it (and that’s never the case because in my experience it always works out, so just try it out and stick with it!!) makeovers are fun and life changing in the best and most superficial way.

16. treat yourself to things you like, but know when to dial it back and savei’m always encouraging people to treat themselves, but it’s important to save money too. try putting 10% or 20% or whatever percentage you’re comfortable with of your wages into your savings every month. your future is always worth investing in. and on that note…

17. things also worth investing in: good books, lingerie, perfume, shoes, your dreams

18. take pictures of/with your loved ones more.

19. always stop to pet cats/dogs you see in the street, and if you’re driving, always brake for birds

20. be kind, even when you don’t feel like it.

#answered #anon #cute ask #advice

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maylovexhs · 6 years

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Hi darlings! It’s May! So first thing first, THIS IS NOT AN IMAGINE OR UPDATE. ITS JUST ME TELLING MY EXPERIENCE ABOUT MY HARRY SHOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT IF YOU WANT TO. I saw a bunch of people doing threads and posting about how wonderful their time is and I was like I want to do it! I, in no way am trying to show off or brag about it. I just want to post it here because I’m friendly with y’all and I’ll just have the story on here for safe keeping. So ignore if you want(I put the keep reading for that) but yeah here’s my concert experience. WARNING: BELOW THE CUT IS A LONG LONG LONG POST. ENJOY THE SHAKY VIDEOS AND MY ANNOYING VOICE. This all happened one month ago ughh procrastination is the devil

I WENT TO SEE HARRY FUCKING STYLES LIVE IN CONCERT NIGHT TWO MSG AND I BLEW A KISS AT HARRY AND HE BLEW A KISS BACK.

. . .

he knows I exist.

Harry Styles knows I goddamn exist.

okay, let’s me backtrack a day or two before my concert. Actually a week, shall we?

So, it’s a week before Harry’s shows in nyc and I’m at home in Brooklyn with no harry tickets for none of the nights because of course 1. Both nights are sold out 2. I couldn’t buy tickets online from strangers cause y’all ever heard of scams? So, I’m at home in misery cause all over my twitter all my mutuals are tweeting how excited they are to go and I’m like “fUcKiNg GrEaT!” I’m pretty sure I posted shit of me gloating on here. ANYWAYS FAST FORWARD TO JUNE 21st, 2018(Harry’s first night/show at msg) and I’m on my living rooms couch on twitter. AND I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS THE UNIVERSE SAYING ‘WE GOT YOU HONEY’ or just a coincidence but the first thing i See is on my timeline is a tweet from ticketmaster saying along the lines of “Due to miscounting . . . There are tickets available for Harry Styles at msg night two . . .SALE” and I . . .i can’t even explain how I felt. It was like destiny. Like “SIS YOU WERENT MEANT TO GET TICKETS A LONG TIME AGO YOURE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM NOW. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE” and I was like “fuck it! I’m going to see my mans in concert and I couldn’t care about how shitty the seats are. It’s Harry of all people” so, I download the Ticketmaster app and ask my mom and my chill ass mom is like ‘really? The day before? This is a sign. God must really want you to see harry” and I’m like “YES”. So I use my moms card(I payed her back after) and buy the two tickets. AND LET ME JUST SAY! THE TICKETS! I GOT LUCKY WITH THE TICKETS. My tickets were seat 8 and 9, row 7, section 113

DO YALL KNOW WHERE THAT IS? THATS RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE! THATS THE SIDE BACK OF THE STAGE. And remember Harry’s stage is 360 honeys so I was hyped up. Honestly I thought it’s row 7, it’s not like we are in front! It’s not like he’s gonna see us. I’m bringing this up later cause well, you’ll see. But just remember I’m row 7. So I print out my tickets and I text my friends “HOES GUESS WHAT?” And I immediately text my best friend emmy(her nickname) “BISH IDGAF ABOUT YOUR STRICT PARENTS I WILL DRAG AND SNEAK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THIS WE AINT MISSING HARRY. WE AINT MISSING SEEING THE MAN IVE BEEN IN LOVE WIG SINCE 2012” and thank god her parents said yes. Emmy and I spent like the next two hours like “Oh let’s make a sign that’s says sing Shania Twain still the one Harry!” and we talked about “what should we do in the city tomorrow before Harry’s show?” Our show day was a very busy day for us. Ready? Let’s go!

So, in the morning I had a college orientation with Emmy and my other friend(I’m calling her Anna for privacy reasons). I arrived there early so from 9:15 am, Anna Emmy and I were learning about our college and making our schedule. We left around 12:30 pm. Emmy and I decided to leave for the city after but we had to pee first so THANK YOU ANNA FOR LIVING CLOSE TO COLLEGE AND ALLOWING US TO USE YOUR BATHROOM. GRACIAS. Oooooh, fun fact: June 22nd was also my graduation date but Emmy and I wasn’t going in the first place so YAY!

Anyways we said goodbye to Anna and we took the train to the city. We stopped at canal street and went to Greenwich village? Why? My friend Emmy is a huge fan of Justin Bieber and 5 Seconds of Summer so we were just like “fuck it! Let’s go hunting for them! Maybe today’s our lucky day” so we are in Greenwich which justin was spotted in but with our luck we couldn’t find him. We were like ‘oh well! Let’s just stroll around’ so we walk and GUESS WHICH APARTMENT BUILDING WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK PAST BY?

HARRY’S. WE WERE ABOUT TO PAST HARRYS APARTMENT. WE WERE ABOUT TO WALK WHERE HARRY WALK. IM TOO HEADASS FOR HIM(btw I don’t stalk him, I didn’t stand outside his building, his apartment address is publicly online and I did not mean to walk past his apartment, IT JUST HAPPENED) I take out my phone and tell emmy where we were and luckily I took a sneak picture low quality of the building. BUT EMMY! EMMY! She was like “I WANT A GOOD QUALITY PICTURE!” Emmy goes, takes a picture of the doors and the security guards give her a mean look from inside the building. And we are like “ABORT MISSION! ABORT!” Moving on, we’re like if we can’t find Justin, we’ll try 5 Seconds of Summer. And guess what? We can’t find them either! At this time it was like, 3 or 4 Pm? And I really need to sit down cause ya girl has no energy whatsoever. So we take the train and go to the area where msg is and we get pizza. Btw msg area is mad busy. Like really busy. Continuing, we finish our pizza. We go check out the outside of msg and I learn that we aren’t allowed in until 6 pm(I heard it from girls outside) And i’m like okay? So Emmy and I buy and get these pride flags and we go to wait and sit outside where the driveway is. So we wait there for like an hour hoping we see anyone but we don’t cause that’s out fucking luck. But we saw like a dressing bag like the ones where suit and dresses are carried in. We highly doubt it was Harry’s suit but hey? Oh and I took a picture right here

Anyways it 6, we go inside, get through scanning and while we are in line, everyone decided to airdrop one direction memes and of course I joined

We were let in at 6:45 pm and we were going to our section. By going, WE RAN. Literally we had to be stopped by a security guard to see our tickets. I’m getting off point but we get to our section and I’m expecting us to be in the middle cause it says row 7. And Emmy tells me we are in the second row and I was just like “??? Our ticket say row 7” and Emmy shows me that the section starts with row 6 and I was just like “BITCH WE’RE CLOSER THAN I THOUGHT. WE’RE ROW 2 ACTUALLY”. So we were seated between where Sarah and Adam was going to be. This was our view

Then we put our shit down, I went to get my harry merch(I got a shirt) and we sat there in our seats waiting for Kacey to start at 8:30 and KACEY IS SO CUTE YALL HAVE NO IDEA SHE IS THE YEEHAW QUEEN. I USUALLY DONT LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC BUT THIS SISTER GOT SOME TUNES. Here’s me singing along(eXcUsE my cringy premature voice I’m 19) I was going crazy during crazy

Then Kacey leaves and we gotta wait another 40 minutes for Harry. I kid you not the whole arena was singing Olivia by 1d even the security guard was shook af

As I was saying, we had to wait 40 minutes more for Harry so it was like 9:30 and FUCKING FINALLY HE COMES OUT AND I SWEAR EVERYONE LOST IT

ONLY ANGEL STARTED TO PLAY AND EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING. HE WAS SHINING IN HIS GODDAMN CALVIN KLEIN BLUE SUIT AND ISTG I KEPT TELLING MYSELF “BLOW KISSES AT HARRY! BLOW KISSES AT HARRY” SO THIS BISH HARRY COMES TO OUR SECTION I BLOW A KISS AT HIM LIKE THIS AND IDK IF HE SAW ME BUT HE BLEW A KISS WITH HIS HAND TO OUR SECTION AND YES IT GOT CAUGHT ON FUCKING CAMERA HOES

I WAS FUCKING SHAKING. CAUSE I WAS CERTAIN DURING THE CHAIN HE BLEW A KISS BACK AND IF HE BLEW A KISS AT ME DURING ONLY ANGEL IT WOULD BE THE FIRST OF TWO my heart is racing just remembering it. I’ll continue. So he finishes only angel and he introduces himself and he’s so cute I can’t even

Then they play woman and someone threw a bra on stage and I was screaming inside

Then they play Carolina, Stockholm syndrome, Anna, esny, jalboyh and finally fucking MEDICINE. I was going crazy during medicine as we all should. Sarah and Adam were fucking ripping the song up and I couldn’t be more proud. Then Harry talked to the crowd more and THIS HOE CALLED THE BACK(aka us) HIS BEST FRIENDS AND IM JUST LIKE THANK YOU. Then they start to play meet me in the hallway and the goddamn back screen goes down, blocking us from seeing Harry perform the song. EMMY AND I KEPT SHOUTING DISRESPECT AND THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WERE LAUGHING. then he the screen lifted up again as he finished the song and he goes down the walk to the b stage with mitch. Mitch is so cute fam. And we could see him get a bunch of flowers and I’m like “it’s what he deserves”. So he’s on b stage now and he begins to sing sweet creature and iicf AND DURING IICF WE ALL HAD OUR FLASHLIGHTS ON IT WAS SO NICE AND LIKE HEAVEN. MY BABY HARRY STARTED TO TEAR UP DURING THE SONG AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM. OOH AND WHILE THEY WERE ON B STAGE, SARAH ADAM AND CLARE WENT OFF THE MAIN STAGE. ADAM AND SARAH WERE TALKING OFF STAGE NEAR US I THINK I HAVE A VIDEO BUT ITS TOO DARK. BUT BASICALLY THEY WERE TALKING AND I GUESS IT WAS ABOUT HOW THEY WERE PLAYING CAUSE ADAM KEPT MAKING A GUITAR GESTURE AND ADAM HAD SUCH A GREAT SMILE AND SARAH WAS SO HAPPY So Harry and Mitch come back and they all play two ghosts and then wmyb

They finish wmyb and Harry talks to the crowd. He talks to a fan who was visiting from another country and he’s like “what did you do here?!?” being all excited. Then he talks to the girl who came with “I AM WITH CHILD” sign and then we found out she lied and harry criticizes her and he’s like “WE’RE ALL TRYING!” and I couldn’t stop laughing. Emmy said she lost some brain cells during that part. So harry begins to talk about sign of the times and me and Emmy were like “let’s shout FUCK TRUMP out loud”. WE DIDNT. We didn’t have the chance to but WE TRIED. The girls in front of us were smiling and laughing at us. I blame Harry cause he kept on talking so he couldn’t hear it anyways. Anyways sign of the times plays and everyone has their flashlights on. IT WAS MAGICAL.

So harry and the band leaves to do something and I’m like “wtf u going” so I start to record and they go under the stage. I guess they were doing a photo down there but they come back on a minute later.

They perform from the dining table and I WAS SO SAD I WAS READY TO FIGHT WHOEVER HURT MY BABY. then from the dining table was over and Harry’s like “I’m gonna sing another song” AND I FUCKING TOLD EMMY “WATCH IT BE STILL THE ONE” and BITCH I WAS CORRECT. So he brings Kacey on

They start to sing still the one and I was in my emotions fam and Kacey wore the rainbow dress and I was like YES QUEEN AND THEY BOTH MADE SO MUCH EYECONTACT IT WAS SO CUTE. Then Kacey leaves and they start to play the chain and I was like HELL YEAH AND DURING THE CHAIN HARRY SAID “DAMCE LIKE NO ONE IS NEXT TO YOU. YOURE NOT GOING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE TOMORROW” AND THAT HIT ME AND EVERYONE ELSE AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THE WHOLE ARENA WAS SHAKING LIKE I COULDNT EVEN STAND BECAUSE I WAS AVOUT TO FALL FROM THE AMOUNT OF JUMPING GOING ON AND THIS IS WAS WHEN HE BLEW A KISS AT ME. SO ITS LIKE THE END OF THE SONG AND HE COMES TO THE BACK AND IMMEDIATELY START TO BLOW KISSES AT HIM WITH BOTH HANDS LIKE BEFORE AND I WAS PRETTY SURE HE SAW ME BECAUSE HE BLEW A KISS WITH BOTH HANDS IN MY DIRECTION AND THEN HE DID THAT TO ALL TE OTHER SECTIONS. BITCH I WAS SHAKING.

The chain ends and they start to play kiwi and I get sad af because I know it’s the last song and harrrys like “this is the last song” and inside I’m like “I KNOW HOE DONT RUB IT IN MY FACE” I have to applaud miss Sarah jones whose fucking drumming was amazing. She fuckingkilled it. Kiwi plays and everyone was losing their shit having the times of their lives and then in the middle of kiwi some girl splashed Harry with water and he sings “YOURE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT” HE GOES STRAIGHT SAVAGE AND SOAKS HER AND EVERYONE AROUND. kiwi finishes and Harry does the whale water spit and oh my god it was ICONIC AF. Harry leaves first then the rest of the band and I was just standing there like SHIT. Emmy had to drag me out. I felt wasted after the concert IT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE. LET ME JUST TELL YOU IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO SEE HARRY LIVE GO FOR IT DONT MISS YA CHANCE. A WHOLE DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME EMERGED THAT NIGHT SO THANK YOU HAROLD I HAD PROBABKY THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE THANKS TO YOU. EMMY AND I GOT TO DANCE WITH OUR PRIDE FLAGS AND WERE SO HAPPY. HARRY MAKES HIS SHOWS SO WELCOMING AND HAPPY. MISS CLARE IS SO CUTE. MITCH AND SARAH ARE SUCH PARENTS AND ADAM IS SUXH A GREAT FRIENDLY PERSON I MISS THEM SO MUCH THATS IT I MISS MY CONCERT SO MUCH I CRY

ALL PHOTO AND VIDEOS ARE CREDITED TO ME AND MY FRIENDS. DONT STEAL. I’ll post the full versions of the videos i have on my twitter. TUMBLR IS A DICK FOR ONLY ALLOWING GIFS of them.

Btw should I also write about my 5sos iheartradio experience and seeing Harry at the Dunkirk premiere? Tell me if ya want to know byeeee

#storytime with maylovexhs #my show #the gifs are horrible quality #I miss harry so much

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donghun-s · 6 years

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the very large sp3arb tag

so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:

A: age? 16 (01 liner)

B: birthplace? North Carolina

C: current time? 7:53 pm

D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)

E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys

F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)

G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands

H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!

I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love

J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years

K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics

M: middle name? christine

N: number of siblings? one, an older sister

O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when older and financially stable)

P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving

R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen

S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)

T: time you woke up? about 8 am

U: underwear color? light heathered grey

V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki

W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)

X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me

Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq

Z: zodiac sign? libra

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks

2) Favourite song at the moment:

lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds

3) Last book you read:

the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

4) Last TV show you watched:

i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time

5) Last movie you watched:

does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)

7) If you have siblings how many?:

one, my older sister

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather,

9) Best tumblr friends:

i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it

11) Favourite memory:

ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather

12) 3 weird habits:

swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)

13) What would you call your style?:

comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)

14) Odd talent:

if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions! Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile

finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know

i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!

#mel talks #tags

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falling-stars-and-open-scars · 4 years

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Life Update

So, a lot’s happened since my last actual blog post/writing/whatever [Jan. 11th] So, let’s recap:

- Got my first speeding ticket Jan 16th

- Immediately TOTALED my car the VERY next day (Jan. 17th) and spent probably a good month trying to get things sorted out/get a car rented/get a NEW car, etc.

- In February: I saw that some coworkers were in a Facebook Group Chat complaining about me “being late” to work. Told my manager and head veterinarian about it and ofc neither did anything about it. A few weeks AFTER that, I “magically” get told that unless I have more availability due to “scheduling” that I was fired. Do keep in mind LITERALLY NO ONE talked to me about my schedule and IN FACT, I told one of the receptionists who works on the monthly schedule that in March I’d be able to work MORE hours during Spring Break so......wtf.....doesn’t add up. And if it usually doesn’t add up, it usually isn’t true. So I really truly feel I got canned because 1)I wasn’t part of the “girl’s club” and actively resented the notion of a girl’s club - “This isn’t high school, I just want to do MY job and my JOB does not require me to be best friends with your dumbass” and 2) The head veterinarian’s pet/favorite was involved in the group chat. Soooooo. Yeah, fuck that place. I worked 20 hours per week and STILL managed to get ALL my work done and the dumb hoes y’all hired off the street can’t seem to even get 2 out of 6 tasks done in 1 week and they “work” more hours than I did.....but they also sat on their asses and ordered Jeffery Starr makeup and Shawn Dawson makeup or whatever the fuck their names are while animals literally went HOURS without water. I know this because I saw it and purposefully did not handle the situation because I’m not the ONLY fucking person who works there; it’s not SOLELY my job to do water checks and they sat on their asses for hours so I was literally trying to give them a chance to redeem themselves; but no, doggo went without water for hours until I refilled the bowl. UGH! And I had to force myself to NOT immediately take care of the problem and it was HARD because the dog didn’t deserve it and it wouldn’t have taken but maybe a minute to take care of. It was just the simple principle of it - I’m working at MY job and y’all should be too but you’re not. I hated that place. I hated my coworkers - bunch of lazy idiots straight up off the fucking street without so much as a goddamn DRUG TEST. No drug test. No BACKGROUND check. No prior animal care experience needed. BULLSHIT! Test them! TEST TEST TEST LITERALLY EVERYONE who walks in and tries to apply because *ahem* THE HEALTH AND WELL BEING OF THE ANIMALS IS WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THIS CLINIC AND IF YOU CANNOT AND WILL NOT INSURE THAT THE PEOPLE *YOU* EMPLOY ARE TRUSTWORTHY AND DRUG-FREE BY DOING A SIMPLE FUCKING CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECK AND A DRUG TEST THEN YOU DO NOT HAVE *ANY* RIGHT TO BE IN BUSINESS!

Annnyway. Randos off the fucking street who couldn’t tell you the ass end of a dog from the front end of a dog and who primarily worked ONLY in retail are more important than having an employee who: 1) fucking works her shift and stays until every single last thing is done, 2) was an employee with the CITY and worked closely with Animal Control/Public Safety AS a kennel attendant for 2 full fucking years and did that job pretty much by herself, 3) CAN PASS a drug test AND background check, and 4) went to school to learn if she can improve in anyway so that the care that she provides for the animals is the ABSOLUTE best it can be without verging into super technical/doctoral territory. Yeeeep. Sounds like a GREAT plan, right? Hire AND KEEP complete fucking morons who CAN’T EVEN READ A LABEL ON A BOTTLE TO MAKE SURE THEY DON’T CREATE MOTHERFUCKING CHLORINE GAS AND KILL EVERY LAST LIVING THING IN THE DAMN BUILDING ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WANT TO USE A METRIC FUCKTON OF CHEMICALS AND BLEACH TOGETHER BECAUSE, AGAIN, YOU DON’T READ THE FUCKING LABEL TO KNOW THAT ONLY 1/8TH OF A FUCKING CUP OF TOP PERFORMANCE PLUS 1 GALLON OF WATER IS ENOUGH TO BE AN EFFECTIVE CLEANING SOLUTION over someone who actually knows their shit. What could possibly go wrong--oh, wait, literally fucking everything. Not like y’all had a PARVO dog in recently and the floor of the room the PARVO dog was in has NOT been deep cleaned with parvocide. Oh wait, that’s TOTALLY THE CASE BECAUSE LAZY BITCHES DON’T CLEAN THEIR FLOOR EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE TO DO WEEKLY FLOOR DEEP-CLEANINGS AND SCRRRUUUUBBBB THE EVER LIVING FUCK OUT OF THE FLOOR USING KENNEL-SOL [which, btw, is effective against *legasp!* FUCKING PARVO!]. Did I mention that they had an older dog literally up and die in the boarding department for no known reason? Well, they sure as fuck did and that dog did NOT get a pre-boarding examination as it “wasn’t due for one” because “yearly exams” are enough. Um, NAH! Unless that dog was seen within the past WEEK, you examine the FUCK outta it! AND GET A GODDAMN FECAL TOO BECAUSE I’M TIRED OF HAVING DOGS COME IN AND BE SHITTING THEIR BRAINS OUT BECAUSE THEY HAVE A FUCKING PARASITE. They had no idea how that dog died, but it was noted that the dog was not eating her food throughout her time there. And noooobody thought “hmm, maybe we should get her checked out? it’s probably just her bad teeth, but maybe we should at least check....maybe ask the owner if we can do some bloodwork (which should’ve been done beforehand/done in a pre-boarding exam)?” Nah, they were like “Oooh, it’s friday; you got food and water, you’ll be fine. I’m outtie at 6pm whether there’s a shitton of other things to do or not.” then came back Saturday morning to find her dead in her fucking kennel.

Not my clinic, not my problem anymore.

Seriously hated that place.

But now, I have an opportunity to work for the city again as a kennel attendant while going to school. Considering my knowledge/education and background and the fact that I literally did the job once before and can do it again and when I did leave, I left on good terms; there shouldn’t be any reason why I’m not hired on. If I do get hired, I’d be making $12 verses the $10.50 bullshit this clinic was paying me and have the title of “city employee” again, so a little bit of a pride-booster there. I’ll be working by myself, which I prefer anyways because I know I can rely on myself to get shit done and, if for some reason shit doesn’t get done, I have only one person to blame - myself. It’ll be hard juggling that and school, but I think I can do it.

Now, in regards to weight loss.....I’ve plateaued and may have even gained a bit. I get being stressed and not making good food choices and skipping the workouts and all; like, the “excuses” make sense but....I’m not done losing weight. I’m not where I want to be. I’m definitely better than where I was, and while that’s great, I still got more to do. Maybe with this new kennel job, I’ll be forced to be more active [potentially working 25 hours per week instead of just 20]. I’ll probably post an updated weight-loss/management plan in a bit.

But yeah, that’s pretty much the recap. Made amends with my best friend too, she (thankfully) dumped her loser boyfriend that I had issues with and we were able to talk things out/I was able to tell her what my issues were with him and she was able to ACTUALLY hear me out instead of having him try to twist and control and manipulate things. I’m thankful she’s away from that and we can get back to being us. She doesn’t know I’ve lost weight. She doesn’t know about my weight loss goals or plans or anything like that, so it’ll be interesting to see if she comments at all [and with a 15-20 pound weight loss since we last saw each other, I’d really hope that there are some obvious improvements]

That’s it for now, I guess.

Thanks for letting me ramble, O great void of Tumblr (because no one reads this shit anyways. LMFAO)

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thegladelf · 7 years

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An Open Heart is An Open Wound 12/?

It has been forever and an age since I posted on this story...sorry, real life and other projects got in the way. (Keep your eyes open, btw, because i start posting my CSBB project next Sunday. HP fans are gonna like it.) But I haven’t forgotten this story and I’m back to working on it (finally). Can’t say whether I”ll get back to regular updates, but I’m gonna try not to go six months without another chapter. Hope y’all like it! (Feedback is always encouraged, in whatever form you like to give it.) Special thanks as always to @sammmtacular for beta-ing these monster chapters.

Tagging @timeless-love-story @lenfaz@trueromantic1 @pirateherokillian @justanotherwannabeclassicand @somethingalltogether

Last Chapter | From Beginning | ff.net | AO3

Summary: Killian was sent to our world to find a cursed town called Storybrooke, but his quest was derailed when he met Emma Swan. Drawn together by a past that is more similar than either of them realize. For a time, they were family. Then things changed and Killian left to complete his mission. Now, ten years later, Emma has come to Storybrooke and it’s Killian must decide whether he should pick up the pieces. (Alternate universe retelling of Season One.)

Word count: 10.3k

Regina grabbed hold of Emma’s arm, her perfectly manicured fingernails digging into the red leather.

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” she accused, face screwed up in outrage.

The sneer nearly convinced Emma to leave Regina sitting in the smoke and heat while she headed out the back way and got help. Regina would be fine up on the landing for a few minutes—she’d probably pass out from smoke inhalation, but Emma preferred her that way. Still, that idea sat like lead in Emma’s gut, no matter how much Regina deserved to sweat a little.

Emma wrenched away from Regina’s grasp. Taking a deep breath and throwing her arms up against the heat, she plunged through the battered doorway. Smoke swirled around her, stinging her eyes as she scanned the room.

A flash of red.

Emma slammed her elbow through the glass, remembering her jacket after the fact, but by then the glass was shattered and she had her fingers around the fire extinguisher.

She heard Regina struggling as she prepped the extinguisher and pointed it at the flames. White vapor clouded both rooms as Emma stepped through and thrust her hand out. Almost immediately, heat flushed fingers wrapped around her hand and Emma hauled Regina to her feet, ducking under her arm. The mayor leaned on her heavily as they hobbled toward the main door.

Sweet, clean air filled Emma’s lungs as they burst through. Covered in ash, she gasped and coughed as light and sound assaulted her. She dimly recognized the click of a camera, followed by more flashing lights.

Immediately, Regina started shouting. “My ankle! Set me down gently!” She struggled against Emma, nearly landing both of them on the ground.

Emma resisted the urge to shove the mayor as she let go. “Seriously? You’re complaining about how I saved your life?” She sucked in another stinging breath, ready to continue yelling, but a coughing fit cut her off and it was all she could do to stay upright. Hands braced against her knees, she took slow breaths.

Behind them, the sirens dimmed as an antiquated fire truck drove up.

Regina waved vaguely. “The firemen are here. It’s not like we were really in danger.”

Emma almost laughed, but her anger won. “Fine. Next time I’ll just… I’ll just…”

She dismissed Regina with a flick of her wrist, determined to walk away without finishing that thought. This woman was not worth her time or effort.

“Ah, you know what?” Emma said, turning back. “Next time, I’ll do the same thing. And the time after that because that is what decent human beings do.” She coughed. “That’s what good people do.” With that she sought out the paramedics and their oxygen tanks, hoping that would stop the world from spinning.

Regina continued yelling, at the firemen, at the photographer, eventually she grabbed a phone from someone and made a call, yelling into the phone too. And then she seemed yelled out, nodding and saying a few more words quietly before hanging up. She coughed, staggering as one of the paramedics tried to corral her over to a spot near Emma. Regina handed the cellphone to the paramedic as she followed meekly, finally exhausted.

Emma hopped off the gurney—she had no desire to be anywhere near Regina right now—handing the oxygen mask to the young man standing nearby.

Regina grabbed her arm. “That was Dr. Hopper,” she said, pausing to cough again. “Whoever did this didn’t go after Henry. It looks like it was just an accident.”

Emma nodded. The thought hadn’t even occurred to her. “Thank you.”

Regina didn’t respond, her fingers gripped around another plastic mask as she breathed deep.

A crowd gathered, clustering around the firemen pulling debris from the wreckage of the hallway. They piled great chunks of wood and plaster on the concrete.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called. Mary Margaret stood behind Emma, Ruby next to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Emma said, her voice coming out rough and spotty. Clearing her throat hurt like hell, but she did it anyway. “Yeah, just smoke.”

Mary Margaret nodded. “Let me see if I can find you some water.”

She scampered off, leaving Emma in Ruby’s care.

“You look like hell,” the taller woman declared.

Several more minutes passed before Archie arrived with Henry, who waved at Emma, but obeyed his mother’s beckoning. Mary Margaret came back with a bottle of water, handing it to Emma as Archie and Granny joined them. Her roommate waited patiently, shoving her hands into her coat as Emma chugged down half the bottle.

Granny took the bottle when Emma was done. “On the house.”

“Did you really rescue Regina?” Mary Margaret asked, an incredulous smile on her face. Beside her, Ruby and Archie leaned a little closer, equally curious expressions on their faces.

“She did!” Henry said, running up beside her. “The fireman said it. They saw it.”

“You are a hero.” Ruby made it sound like some irrefutable truth and Emma felt a little swell of pride.

She had done that. She had stayed and helped Regina, despite having every reason not to, and that felt good. It made her feel like she deserved a place right alongside Henry’s storybook princes and princesses.

Mary Margaret nodded, the little flower on her hat bobbing. “We should see if they have a picture of the rescue.”

“We could make campaign posters,” Granny said.

“Oh, people would love that!” Archie said as Mary Margaret spun around, his voice trailing off as the group chased after her without so much as a goodbye to Emma.

She laughed at their enthusiasm, touched that they were so invested in helping her beat Sydney. She knelt before Henry, gravel biting through her jeans, and took his hands in hers. His fingers were cold because, of course, he had forgotten his gloves.

“This is how good wins,” she told him. “You do something good and people see it, and then they want to help you.”

Henry tilted his head, considering her for a moment. “Maybe you’re right.”

“You see, Henry?” She smiled, gripping his shoulder. Under her hand and all the winter layers, he still felt small and frail despite being taller now that Emma was kneeling. “We don’t have to fight dirty.”

The sentence fell flat as her eyes landed on the debris. Sitting on top of the splintered door was an odd piece of twisted fabric. The still air stirred a little, a biting breeze sweeping past Emma and on that breeze wafted a familiar smell.

Livestock.

“Hey, you should stay close to your mom, kid,” Emma said, squeezing his shoulder. “She was really shaken today.”

Henry glanced over to where Regina whispered fiercely at Sydney. “She looks fine.”

“Appearances can be deceiving, Henry,” she said. “And people like your mom don’t like showing weakness, especially with everyone watching.”

He didn’t roll his eyes and say she was the same, just nodded and ran over to his mom. Regina jumped when Henry took her hand, blinking down with wide, confused eyes. Emma shook her head. How screwed up was their relationship if simple physical affection surprised her?

Then again, who was Emma to talk?

Crouching, she snatched up the coiled fabric. She grimaced at the sheep stench, but it wasn’t the smell twisting up her insides as much as the piece of fabric. After assuring herself that everyone else was looking elsewhere, Emma pulled out her phone for a quick Google search.

# # #

Main Street was deserted. Even Granny’s sign was off.

Of course it was. Granny was at town hall, trying to find pictures for the campaign. Emma laughed. She should have known better than to think someone actually believed she was capable of something important. She was just a pawn.

“Swan!”

Emma jerked her head up to find Killian jogging toward her, his look of relief half-masked with a joking smile.

She stopped dead in her tracks. “I thought you were going sailing.”

He shrugged. “I wasn’t far out when I heard the sirens.” His trademark smirk spread across his face. “Though, I could have her back out in a jiffy if you need a quick escape.” He threw an aimless gesture toward town hall. “That have anything to do with you?”

“Yes,” Emma bit out.

Killian’s eyebrows shot sky high, but he stepped aside.

“Things with Regina went that well?” His nose wrinkled up as Emma breezed by him. “Swan, why do you smell like a wet sheep?”

“I don’t,” she spat. “This does.” She waved the lanolin soaked cloth in his face. “Lanolin. It’s flammable, apparently, and I’m betting Gold knew that.”

He jumped from concern to rage in one breath. His hand snapped out in the next, fingers circling her wrist.

“What happened?” he growled. “Are you alright?”

Emma shrugged away from him. “Yeah, fine. Regina got the worst of it.”

“Henry?”

“Wasn’t even there.” Her anger faded at the flash of relief on Killian’s face. Though she couldn’t explain why, she found herself running through her encounter with Regina and the subsequent explosion. By the time she got to the end of it, he looked gray, but his eyes practically gave off sparks.

“You think he might be coming after you as well, then?” he said, voice strained.

“No, I think he was trying to help me.” Her grip on the greasy wool tightened. “He owns half the town already, makes sense he’d grab for more power when the opportunity arose.”

And she swallowed his lines like a fool. A small voice whispered that she hadn’t detected any lies last night, but that didn’t soothe the sting. After all that talk about doing things the right way, she fell in with exactly the kind of people she wanted to avoid becoming.

Killian sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re planning to confront him.”

“Of course I am,” Emma said. “When he I accepted his help this is not what I meant.”

“Accepted his help?” Killian tilted his head back, eyes closed. “Swan, tell me you didn’t make another deal with him.”

“Not a deal,” she said. “He offered to help. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even know I could challenge Regina.”

“And how were you planning to deal with him?”

“I don’t know,” Emma admitted. “But this is not how I’m winning this election. It can’t be.”

Quiet settled over them, broken only by Killian’s measured breathing. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, he looked like his last good night of sleep was a hundred years ago.

He sighed, chest caving. “You can’t break a deal with the…pawnbroker.”

“It’s not a deal.” She tried to turn away, but he grabbed her wrist again.

“I’m not going to let you just…”

She snatched her hand away. “You don’t get to ‘let’ me do anything, Hook.”

He clenched his jaw. “You’re set on confronting him?”

“Well, I can’t let him go around blowing up buildings to make me look like a hero.”

Killian sighed. “Allow me to go with you, then.”

“I don’t need…”

“You don’t know him like I do,” he snapped, his voice echoing down the empty street. He caught himself and took a step back from her, his cheeks burning—though Emma couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. The latter, judging by the look in his eyes, but not directed at her. “You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

“He’s not going to hurt me,” she countered. “He wants me to be sheriff.”

“Emma, please.” He cleared his throat. “Please.”

Something about the fear in his voice connected deep down in her gut.

“Okay.” And without another word, she walked away.

The crunch of his boots joined hers as the only sounds on the street. The sign on Gold’s shop was still flipped to OPEN. Emma reached for the doorknob, thought better of it, and whirled on Killian.

“I am…” she paused, searching for the word he had used earlier, “allowing you to come with me. But I am the deputy sheriff. I do the talking. You’re just here for back-up if I need it. Which I won’t.”

Killian nodded, his jaw clenched so tight, she was surprised she didn’t hear bone splinter. For one fleeting moment, she questioned the wisdom of bringing him with her, but she still saw the fear in his eyes, heard the way his voice had cracked. None of that had been for show.

“Okay.” She inhaled through her nose. “Here goes, then.”

The bell chimed as Emma entered. Gold’s casual glance up at her sent her blood boiling again. He had been expecting her.

“Miss Swan, what a surprise,” he said, in a tone that implied he was anything but. “And Mr… Jones, wasn’t it?”

Emma listened for any hint of animosity from Gold, searched his face as he nodded to Killian. For the first time, she wondered if Killian’s story might be all one sided. An imagined slight Gold had no knowledge of.

“Aye,” Killian said, shutting the door. The bell jangled loudly.

“Loads of visitors today.” Gold eyed them distastefully, wiping his hands on the cloth he held. It was the only clean, bright thing in the entire shop. “Do hope you’re not going to break my little bell.”

“You set the fire,” Emma said, holding the fabric in front of her as she advanced on him. There was a slight tug on the back of her jacket. A warning: Keep your distance.

Gold scoffed, returning to buffing his fingernails. “I’ve been right here, Miss Swan.”

Emma shook the stinking mess in her hand. “Take a whiff. It smells like your sheep crap oil.” She crossed the rest of the distance, ignoring Killian’s presence at her shoulder. “Turns out it’s flammable.”

“Oh. Are you sure?” Gold leaned back, shifting his weight off of his bad leg. He tilted his head, speaking in a tone normally used on small children. “There’s some construction working on at City Hall at the moment. There’s loads of flammable solvents used in construction.”

“Why did you do it?” Emma demanded.

Gold’s eyes flicked over to Killian.

“If I did it,” he corrected. Draping his cloth over his arm, he curled his long fingers around the head of his cane. “If I did it, that would be because you cannot win without something big.” The floorboards creaked under his uneven tread. “Something like, uh…” He paused before raising his hand with a flourish. “Oh, I don’t know. Being the hero in a fire?”

“How could you even know I’d be there at the right time?”

“How would I indeed?” Gold asked, leaning against the counter.

“Perhaps,” Killian said, stepping up beside Emma, “the mayor isn’t the only one with eyes and ears in this town.”

“Or perhaps,” Gold drew out with a smirk, though his eyes never left Emma. “I’m just intuitive.” His nose wrinkled, his smile turning cold. “Were I involved.”

“I could’ve run and left her there,” Emma said.

Killian snorted. “Not the type, love.”

She ignored him. “I can’t go along with this.”

“You just did.” The truth in Gold’s words sent a chill down Emma’s spine. “This is just the price of election, Miss Swan.”

“A price I’m not willing to pay,” she said, tossing the foul-smelling rag onto Gold’s counter. It hit with an unsatisfying plop. “Find another sucker.”

“Okay, go ahead, expose me.” Gold’s relaxed tone pulled at Emma just as surely as Killian’s hand, tugging her lightly toward the door. “But if you do, just think about what you’ll be exposing and what you’ll be walking away from.”

Emma swallowed, staring at Gold long and hard before she acquiesced to Killian’s gentle urging.

“Oh, yes,” Gold called to her back. “And, um… Who you might be disappointing.”

Killian’s steps faltered, his head snapped around. Something dark and dangerous and frightening flashed in his eyes. Without thinking Emma grabbed his jacket, wrenching the door open and shoving him outside. Cool air—air that didn’t smell like barnyard—hit her cheeks, calming her. She didn’t bother shutting the door all the way, choosing instead to hustle Killian further down the street.

Killian whirled on her, dragging her into the alley by Gold’s shop. Shadows fell over him, only the glint of his bright, blue eyes showing where his face was.

“Why is that…monster threatening my son?” he growled.

“It wasn’t a threat, Hook.” Emma stepped back, the slats of the wall pressing into her spine as she leaned against it. Bowing her head, she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, throwing wild colors across the back of her eyelids. “It was a reminder of why I’m doing this.”

“For Henry?”

“Yeah.” She fiddled with the zipper on her jacket, the cold metal moving smoothly under her fingers. “I wanted to show him that the good guys don’t always lose. That they can win without resorting to the tactics villains use.” She threw her hands up in the air. “And now I’m in cahoots with Gold, so that’s working out real well.”

Killian nodded, kicking at a piece of trash. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Emma said for the second time that night. The words bit. “This is exactly how I didn’t want to win, but, I’m going up against Regina. How am I supposed to win against her without some serious back up?”

“You don’t need Gold to win against Regina, love,” Killian said softly.

“Have you seen this town? No one wins against Regina.”

“You will.”

Emma wanted to believe him, really she did, but he was hopelessly optimistic if he thought that someone like her could go up against someone like Regina and win. No one would take Emma Swan—the girl with no roots and nothing to her name—seriously. Everyone was too afraid of Regina. Though they were just as afraid of Gold, if the little she’d seen of him was anything to go by.

She shied away from the hand reaching for her. “I’m not sure I can take that chance. This is too important. I—I need to win. Henry needs me to win.”

In the cramped alley, Killian was so close she heard him his swallow.

“In this book of the lad’s is Gold a hero or a villain?”

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.” He pressed his lips together and exhaled slowly. Tension stretched him so taut it was she expected him to shatter as he moved away. With slow, careful steps he backed out of the alley, his eyes on Emma the entire time.

As the street lights fell on him, he looked calm. Too calm. A sudden panic overtook Emma, the flash of rage in his eyes back in the shop harsh and bright in her memory. No matter how much she told herself that this was Killian, something deeper told her the violence she saw in his eyes could have physical consequences.

With deliberation he turned and Emma thought she only half imagined the rip of his gaze leaving hers. She was free. She stumbled to the alley’s mouth, ready to call out, to stop him, to tell him not to go back inside that shop, but he passed by the door. He made it the few feet to the corner before he stopped, pausing to uncurl his fist and examine it. The tips of Killian’s fingers caught the sparse light, glistening red tinged the nails. Without a backward glance, he smeared his hand down the front of his jeans, and kept walking.

Something inside Emma snapped and she could breathe again. She reached behind her. The rough siding of the shop next to Gold’s scratched at her hand as she leaned against it. Her hands shook and she wondered why. Hadn’t their fight earlier this afternoon been just as intense? But all that rage hadn’t even ruffled her feathers as she glared up at him in Mary Margaret’s apartment. If she hadn’t been scared earlier, why was she scared now?

The answer didn’t take long to piece together. As volatile as their fight had been, Emma knew deep down that Killian would never strike out at her in anger, never seek to harm her.

# # #

To say Killian woke on the wrong side of the bed the next day would imply that he slept at all.

He hadn’t.

He lay awake all night trying to find a way to free Emma from Rumplestiltskin’s ever tightening leash. No matter how he turned the situation, the only true solution was the Crocodile’s death. Regardless of how Emma worded it, she had made a deal. And Killian had witnessed firsthand the price of defying Rumplestiltskin.

His conclusion should have brought him relief, some satisfaction and yet…there was Henry.

True, the lad would be far safer in a world without the Crocodile, but if the man turned up with a dagger in his heart, how long would it be before the authorities tracked Killian down? Two days ago, he could have cared less if he was caught. Now? Whether or not she had evidence, Killian had no doubt that Emma could and would identify the murderer and then she would make sure that Henry never came near him.

He groaned as he rolled out of his bunk. Normally, the gentle rock of the ocean calmed his thoughts. It had no such effect now. He dressed quickly. This election thing apparently involved a gathering of some sort where the two candidates would speak to the masses. He wasn’t particularly interested in whatever that Sydney fellow had to say, but he would go if meant supporting Emma.

And he that he might see Henry.

Killian skulked outside the building, watching as men came to hang a sign announcing “Debate here!” across the pale, yellow siding. The sign clashed horribly, too dark and serious for such a cheerful color. Others came as the day started to warm, the sun finally free of the cloud cover. A line started forming, the chatter filling up the still air and making Killian feel odd. They barely noticed him, all of them buzzing with the story of last night’s rescue.

Killian’s stomach twisted in knots. The Crocodile truly had rigged the game in her favor. Was this part of a plan to break the curse? If he was against the queen, surely it had to be. But how could he be working to break a curse he, by all signs, didn’t remember.

“Hey, you’re Killian, right?” The spritely brunette appeared at Killian’s elbow, heedless of the hook he nearly sent into her heart in shock.

“Aye,” he said.

“I’m Mary Margaret, Emma and I are roommates.” And then, before Killian could remind her that he knew this fact as he was the one who had called her the night Graham met his unfortunate end, she plunged on, “Did you hear about last night? Well, you must have heard about last night. That was so brave of Emma, I’m honestly not sure if I would have done the same. I think I would have just run…Oh, speaking of which…” She shifted items bundled in her arms, flashing some wicked looking metal object at him. “I want to plaster these all over the town board. Care to help me?”

Killian eyed the implement, unsure as to its purpose, and took the easy way out. “I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much use,” he said, waving the hook at her.

Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Oh…” she murmured without the telltale trace of fear. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think…Well, you could keep me company if you like.” She flashed him a brilliant grin, so like Henry in that moment that Killian couldn’t refuse.

“I suppose I could find some way to assist,” he said, taking the stack of glossy paper from her as an idea occurred to him.

As it turned out, the contraption was some sort of…nailing device, though the thin slivers of metal left in its wake were considerably smaller than nails, and it required the use of only one hand. Mary Margaret whisked posters from his arms, wielding the thing with an ease that spoke of familiarity.

“You teach at the school if I’m not mistaken?” Killian started.

Mary Margaret nodded. “Yep. I actually teach Henry’s class.” She pulled the handle, several shocks sending the bits of metal into the corkboard with resounding pops. “He’s one of my best students.”

Killian grinned at that. An odd sort of pride stirring inside him. “Really? Well, that’s to be expected…”

Killian cut the sentence off, regaling the woman with tales of his days at the naval academy would only confuse her and he wasn’t sure if Emma had shared Henry’s true parentage with the schoolmarm yet.

He blustered on, “Considering how clever his mother is.”

Mary Margaret nodded without asking Killian to elaborate on Emma’s cleverness, which—as it involved her speed in learning one-handed lock picking—was probably for the best.

“Oh, yes,” she said, slapping another poster against the board. “And Regina pushes him hard too.” She bit her lip, glancing behind her. “A little too hard if you ask me. No nine-year-old needs perfect grades.” Her shoulders bounced up and down in a quick shrug. “Still, I know it comes from a good place. She’s been harsh in the past, but up until now it’s only been because she wants the best for him.”

Killian stepped closer. “What do you mean, up until now?”

If she noticed the tightness in his voice, she didn’t show it as she pinned the next flyer, her tongue peeking from between her lips in concentration. It reminded him of Emma.

“You know…This whole feud with Emma, she’s so scared about what might happen…I don’t think she’s thinking of Henry much in all this.” She finished, brushing a gloved hand over her handiwork as though her words weren’t seeping into Killian’s bones. “And she’s not handling this stage in Henry’s development too well, he’s learning that he doesn’t need her for everything and with Emma here…” She trailed off, her face thoughtful. “I suppose she’s scared and going after Emma makes her feel like she can do something about, I just wish she could see how much this hurts Henry.”

“How is he handling it?” Killian asked, following her as he headed for the other side of the board.

Mary Margaret laughed. “Besides the fact that he thinks Regina is some Evil Queen? As well as…oh!” The last was a soft gasp, her hands muffling most of it as she backpedaled quickly. She whirled on Killian, her hands flying to her hat. “Does the hat look, okay?” she hissed. “Or should I take it off? Is it doing weird things to my hair?”

Killian blinked. “It’s fine as is.”

Mary Margaret nodded, clearing her throat. She spun on her heel, straightening her coat, before marching around to the other side.

Her exclamation of, “David! Hi!” satisfied his curiosity long before he rounded the board.

“Mary Margaret,” came the soft reply. “Hi.”

David stood just feet from Mary Margaret, several posters clutched in one hand and another of the strange metal guns in his other. He also wore the most ridiculous hat Killian had ever seen, certainly something that would be blackmail worthy when the prince regained his right mind…and his fashion sense. His gentle smile widened when he saw Killian. “And Killian, I didn’t know you knew each other.”

“We, uh…” Mary Margaret stumbled, her eyes shooting to Killian.

Suddenly, he felt very uncomfortable.

“Mutual acquaintance,” he said before the silence could stretch too long. “I know her roommate, Emma.”

“Oh.” David nodded, smiling. “We have a few mutual acquaintances it seems.”

Turning to Killian, Mary Margaret grabbed another poster, taking far less care than she had previously. “So. Sydney,” she said as she attacked her poster liberally with the metal gun.

David shrugged. “My wife is friends with Regina.”

“Right.” Mary Margaret snatched up the last poster. “How is she?”

“Good. She’s meeting me here later.” David turned that same, gentle smile on the schoolteacher, but she ignored him.

“We’re out of posters,” she declared. “I’m going to go get some more.” She handed Killian the metal gun and rushed off, her shoes crunching briskly over the dry grass.

David sighed, his eyes following her.

“Looks like you’ve got a mess on your hands, mate,” Killian said.

David shrugged. “I’m—well, we’re—Kathryn and I are good. I just wish I hadn’t…” He ducked his head, the brim of his hat nearly brushing the various notices fluttering on the cork board. “Thank you, by the way,” he said, glancing up at Killian. “I was little disoriented that night, so thanks for the advice. It was the right thing to do. There should be more people out there like you.”

Killian snorted. “I highly doubt that.”

“No, I mean it,” David said. “Not many people would have had it in them to look out for a complete stranger.”

Killian’s cheeks flamed, the praise making him want to squirm as he hadn’t since he was a small lad. It was only due to him that David was in this situation in the first place, if he had truly been looking out for the man, he would never have touched that windmill and perhaps Emma would already be reunited with her family.

And you would have your revenge, whispered a small, bitter voice in the back on his mind. Or have you forgotten about that?

He looked away, unable to withstand the earnest admiration in the prince’s eyes. All these years, he had never questioned his path. The death and destruction left in the Crocodile’s wake had been all the proof he needed that he was on the right path. But now, with Emma’s father watching, he wasn’t so sure of that anymore. Could it be the right path if it cost him Emma? Cost him his son?

“Looks like I’m out of posters too,” David said, still grinning. “I’ll see you inside, Killian.”

Killian almost followed him. Almost, but he looked up to find Emma striding toward him, looking very official in a tight brown dress and jacket. He tried not to let his eyes linger too long as she approached, but had such a gesture been well-received he certainly would have made a show of it.

“Hey,” a small voice whispered, startling him much as the boy’s grandmother had mere minutes before. “Can I borrow your staple gun?”

Killian blinked, trying to make sense of Henry’s words. The lad pointed emphatically at the metal contraption Mary Margaret had wielded.

“Oh, yes, of course,” he said, handing over the staple gun.

“Thanks,” his son said.

His son.

He had known... For nearly twenty-four hours he had known who Henry was, but the knowledge suddenly seemed new with the boy standing before him. His throat tightened as he took in the boy’s features as though for the first time. His eyes, yes, he had his mother’s eyes. But he had Killian’s dark hair and mirrors might have been rare when he was a lad, but Killian thought he saw hints of something that reminded him very much of Liam in the boy’s round face.

Suddenly, he wished very much that he could show his brother this wonderful, perfect person that was equal parts Emma and himself.

“Oh, wow, I’m not sure which one is more embarrassing,” Emma muttered from just off his right.

Killian started, looking quickly away from her so she couldn’t see the tears he blinked away. It had been a very long time since he last thought about his brother.

“I made it,” Henry was saying when he turned back.

Killian’s eyebrows shot up as he beheld the poster Henry had stapled to the board. He had been so taken in with the sight of his son, he had missed the rather comical artwork in the lad’s arms. Emma scanned the poster, her brow furrowed in concentration.

“I found the picture online,” Henry explained. “I put your face over the fireman’s. It looked more…heroic.”

Emma swallowed. “Well, I certainly look…brawny.”

“Quite the talent,” Killian said, tilting his head to admire the lad’s work. He recognized the word ‘online’ from his many trips with Emma to use computers at the library. “I’m impressed.”

Henry beamed at him and Killian thought his heart might stop beating.

“Thanks, I was up all night working with Photoshop.”

“Henry,” Emma scolded.

“Okay, not all night….”

“Henry.” Regina’s voice cut through the air. “What did I tell you about running off?”

Henry turned back to the board, ripping down the poster he had fastened there and hiding it behind his back with the rest.

“Ms. Swan,” Regina said with a tight-lipped smile. “And Mr. Jones. You two are certainly becoming quite the pair.”

Emma stiffened, the posters in her hand crinkling in her grasp.

Henry fidgeted, trying to rescue the sheets of paper from her, but only succeeding in knocking them to the ground. Emma sighed, crouching awkwardly to retrieve them without kneeling and dirtying her stockings.

“What’s this?” Regina asked, grabbing one of the posters. Her dark eyes flashed as she examined the page, the corners of her mouth turning down. “What a shame,” she said, balling the poster in her fist. “A waste of trees and a waste of your time.”

Henry glared defiantly up at his mother.

“Oh, I’m not so sure,” Killian said. He plucked one of the posters up from the ground, shaking off the dirt. “When I was in…school they used to say that it took ten thousand hours of practice to truly master a subject.” He smiled at the mayor as he might a particularly pompous superior officer. Polite. It was certainly better than giving her the lashing he wanted to. No one should speak to his son in such a manner, but Emma had asked he not show his hand and he would hold to that, especially after seeing the cool exchange between Emma and the mayor. “Certainly, practice can never be a waste of time or else we’d have no masters of any craft.”

Regina’s heated gaze turned on him, her eyes raking him up and down in a cold, calculating fashion.

“I think I know where my son’s talents are best spent,” she said, her hand shot between him and Henry, taking the boy by the wrist. “Come along, Henry, the debate will be starting soon.” She stalked away, calling back one last time, “I’d hurry with those posters, Ms. Swan, it won’t do to be late for your own debate.”

Emma let out a shaky breath. “Do you see now why I have to win?”

“I imagine so,” Killian said, anger still thrumming through his veins. “Whoever decided that she should have a child?”

“The state,” Emma said, folding the posters up. “Don’t tell Henry. That other picture is bad enough.” She unfolded the posters. “He did do a good job though.” And then she gently slid the posters into the nearest trash can.

The crowd had thinned, most of the people filing inside to find their seats.

“Why bother winning, Emma?” he asked.

“What?”

“Why not cut our ties to this place, take our son, and go? Isn’t that what would be best for Henry?”

“Because that would be kidnapping and it’s illegal.” She crossed her arms, digging at the ground with her boot as she said, “Not that I haven’t thought about it, but…”

Emma sighed.

“It’s a good home. Better than any I ever had. He gets three good meals and his own room and more toys than I think any kid would know what to do with. It’s just this…fairytale thing that’s the problem. I think I’d be frustrated with him too if he thought I was some evil sorceress.” Raking her fingers through her hair she looked at him. “You’ve been here since he came, tell me, before now, before I came, did you ever question it?” She flung her arm toward city hall, her meaning clear.

Killian shook his head. “He’s never been lacking, but material comforts don’t make up for an absent parent.”

Emma scoffed. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t be a good judge of that, considering I never had either.” She glanced at the hall again, squaring her shoulders. “I’d better get inside.”

“Right.”

He followed her, studiously keeping his eyes on her bouncing, blonde curls and not on the curve of her ass in that pencil skirt. He didn’t fancy a black eye this early in the morning. For a heart-stopping moment he thought she might have read his thoughts, because she turned on him and odd look on her face.

She clenched her jaw. “That was good, what you said. Regina might not have appreciated it, but I know Henry did.”

Killian shrugged. “It was the right thing to do. Words carry quite the weight when you’re young, I’d hate for him to doubt himself simply because Regina behaved like some wounded animal.”

A fleeting smile crossed Emma’s face and she nodded before darting off.

Killian watched her go with a grin on his own face. He certainly hadn’t meant to impress Emma when he contradicted Regina, but for the first time since renewing his relationship with her, he felt the flutterings of hope.

When he entered the main room, it had filled quite decently, a good number of the chairs already taken. He crept up the side, ducking away from people’s gazes as he searched for a seat. As his gaze passed over the citizens of Storybrooke, he wondered how many of them had stories in Henry’s book. Surely not all these people could fit, even in a book as large as his son’s. If any of them were even in their true form. The Crocodile had certainly changed between their world and this one.

He spotted an empty chair in the front row, right next to a familiar head of dark hair.

Regina glared at him as he approached, doing his best to look humble and apologetic.

“Is this seat taken?” he asked, careful to look at Regina.

“Nope,” Henry answered before Regina could say otherwise.

With what he hoped was an uncertain nod, Killian took the seat, crossing his arms so his hook was hidden. No need to remind the queen of his real identity.

The stage creaked, but Kilian could see nothing past the heavy, olive curtains.

Henry leaned over, his green eyes peering up at Killian. “Did you really think I did a good job?”

Killian swallowed, his eyes skating over to Regina. “Well, I’m no judge of such things, but I thought it showed quite the imagination.”

The mayor snorted. “He certainly has that in droves.”

Killian shrugged. “An imagination is no crime.”

Regina turned on him. “Except when you indulge it instead of doing your homework.”

Henry ducked his head, his grey and red striped scarf riding up under his ears. “It’s the weekend.”

“And you’d have enjoyed it all that much more if you didn’t have to do your schoolwork tonight.” Regina sat back in her chair, hands resting in her lap. She glanced down, her jaw clenching as she sat back up, her back ramrod straight, and refolded her hands in her lap. “Henry, please sit up, I don’t pay for your chiropractic care so you can grow up to have a hunch.”

Henry huffed, but did as his mother asked.

Out of nothing more than spite, Killian slouched in his chair, wishing the one next to him had been empty, so he could drape his arm insouciantly over the back. The unforgiving plastic bit into the base of his spine, but he refused to change position out of principle.

He threw another look at the curtains, hoping this wouldn’t take long. A slight gap had opened at the center and one brilliant, green eye stared out at him. No, not at him, at Henry. Emma pulled back as quickly as she appeared, though Killian didn’t have to worry long if it was because she caught him looking. The curtain parted hardly a minute after her retreat, revealing Emma and Sydney seated on opposite sides of the stage, Henry’s psychiatrist standing at the podium in the middle.

Sydney sat directly in front of Killian, not seeming to share Regina’s preference for proper posture, his legs splayed, his elbows propped on the arms of his chair. Relaxed and saved from sloppiness only by his crisp, gray suit. He glanced once or twice at Regina, but for the most part, stared over the heads of the crowd, detached. There to serve a purpose, not because he believed it.

The podium partially blocked Emma from Killian’s view and he had to shift toward Henry to see her. Everything about her was closed off and nervous. Her legs in perfect parallel from knee to ankle. Her shoulders hunched inward. Her laced fingers twisted in her lap as she stared into the crowd, her eyes fixed on one point.

A chill crawled down Killian’s spine. Still slouched, he tilted his head, scanning each row until he found Rumplestiltskin.

The speaking device on the podium gave a burst of static, jerking Killian’s attention back to the front.

“Yes,” Hopper said. “Hello, citizens of Storybrooke.” The psychiatrist droned on for several minutes, reminding everyone of the former sheriff’s beloved position in the town. Someone in the back scoffed. It sounded like Leroy. The speech was rambling, littered with anecdotes that would have been better put to use at the funeral than at an official town meeting.

Killian almost leaned down to ask Henry who Hopper was in the book, but thought better of it. If Emma was hesitant about the book, he was sure Regina would bristle at the mention. Especially considering that it told the truth about her.

At last, the bespectacled man took a breath, standing a little straighter.

“Tragedy has brought us here, but we are faced with this decision.” He paused, his eyes raking the audience. Did his gaze rest on Regina for a moment longer than the rest? “And now, we ask only that you listen with an open mind and to please vote your conscience. So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to the candidates—Sidney Glass and Emma Swan. Glass. Swan. Sounds like something that a decorator would make you buy.” The joke fell on deaf ears. “Wow, crickets.” He gestured behind him, his brief bit of spine deflating. “Okay, uh… Uh, Mr. Glass—your opening statement.”

He ceded the podium to the spare man.

Sydney approached, a puppy eager to do his mistress’ bidding as he straightened his tie and fiddled with his jacket.

“I just want to say,” Sydney said, his fingers curling around the wooden structure as his gaze swept over the crowd, “that if elected, I want to serve as a reflection of the best qualities of Storybrooke.” His gaze rested on Regina and Killian looked over to find the woman mouthing the words along with Glass. “Honesty, neighbourliness, and strength.” Glass’ eyes swept the room one last time as he nodded, a smile plastered across his face. “Thank you.”

The room applauded, even Henry making a half-hearted attempt in order to appease his mother, as Hopper approached the podium once again.

He leaned in to announce, “And Emma Swan.”

Surprise flickered over Emma’s face, but she stood, fidgeting with her dress as she took the podium. Just as Glass had, she gripped either side of the structure. Her knuckles stood out white, her eyes on the wooden surface before her. Killian sat a little straighter, willing her to look in his direction, wishing he could give her some small encouragement. Anything to wipe that uncertain look from her face and show off the determined, capable woman he knew she was.

Unnatural silence filled the room. Every eye trained forward.

“You guys all know I have what they call a, uh…” Emma paused, taking a deep breath. Bright green eyes flashed in his direction for the briefest moment before focusing on the floor. “Troubled past. But, you’ve been able to overlook it because of the, um…” Her hand waved in a dismissive gesture. “Hero thing.”

She took a breath, her lashes fluttering closed for a brief moment. Her grip on the podium tightened, her chest rising in a slow inhale. Killian counted time in heartbeats, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth.

When she looked up, her gaze landed on Henry.

“But here’s the thing, the fire was a setup.” Emma’s voice rang through the room, crystal clear over the sound of gasps and the creak of chairs. Shoulders thrown back, she addressed the entire room. “Mr. Gold agreed to support me in this race, but I didn’t know that that meant he was going to set a fire. I don’t have definitive evidence, but I’m sure.” Again, she held eye contact with their son. “And the worst part of all this was…” Emma ducked her head, but only for a second. She stood straight, apology written across her features, the rest of the room forgotten. “The worst part of all this is I let you all think it was real. And I can’t win that way. I’m sorry.”

Killian didn’t know how long they sat there, the room hushed. Everyone’s attention fixed on Emma, their collective breath seeming to be held in reverence of this moment between mother and son.

A chair creaked so softly Killian might have missed it had there been a single breath of noise. His gut clenched at the first tap of the cane against tile. Killian waited, hand curled into a fist on his thigh, waiting until the rest of the room turned to watch the Crocodile make his slow progress out of the room before he turned that way as well.

The man didn’t even look back as he left and that meant one of two things: either he didn’t care that Emma had exposed him or he had already determined what to do. The thought made Killian’s blood run cold. When he turned back to the podium, he found only Hopper and an uncertain Sydney Glass. The only sign left of Emma was a fluttering curtain.

Killian shot to his feet. Ignoring Regina’s questioning stare, he sped down the side, just short of a run. The air was cold and biting as he burst from the hall, harsh on his skin after the warm room packed with people.

The drive outside stood empty save for the lone figure of Rumplestiltskin. The demon threw a careless glance over his shoulder, unconcerned by Killian’s abrupt exit from the hall.

Killian knew that this was his opportunity. He could take the Crocodile out once and for all, and if that cost him his relationship with Emma and Henry, wouldn’t it be worth the sacrifice? To never have them fall under Rumplestiltskin’s threat again?

“Oh, hey.”

For the second time that day, Henry took Killian unawares. The lad blinked up at him with wide, green eyes.

“Are you looking for Emma too?” the boy asked, smiling.

“Aye,” Killian replied automatically. His mind ground to a halt, his previous thoughts at odds with the memories that Henry’s presence dredged up.

“She’s probably headed to Granny’s,” the boy said. “That’s where she usually goes when she needs to unwind while it’s still daylight.” He gestured to the sky, barely starting to pink on the western horizon.

Killian nodded. “Well, then, shall we?” he asked, grasping onto the tenuous control Henry’s presence brought.

Henry’s shaggy hair fluttered as he shook his head. “I’ll meet you there. There’s something I’ve gotta do.” He took off, but did an about face almost immediately. “I’m glad you and Emma are friends, I don’t think she has many.” With a quick grin, he trotted off, his rucksack bouncing against his shoulders.

Killian swallowed, his eyes drawn back to Rumplestiltskin’s retreating back.

I wanted to show him that the good guys don’t always lose, Emma’s voice whispered in his ear. That they can win without resorting to the tactics villains use.

Killian was a villain. He made no excuses. Blood clung to his hand, thick and unforgiving. He had cared little about the taint on his soul, barely giving it any heed in his single-minded quest. After all, to kill a monster meant becoming a monster, did it not? What did all those ruined lives matter against the weight of the Crocodile’s crimes?

He was a villain, had been a villain for nearly three centuries, and yet, here he was contemplating changing his spots like the proverbial leopard. The thought sat ill in his mind. Not because he saw no value in doing the right thing, as Emma had done, but because changing his ways would mean admitting what he had always known: he had hurt people that did not deserve it. Turning from the Crocodile, trying to use a hero’s tactics would mean he could no longer push away the cost of his sins nor their weight on his soul.

But Emma didn’t need a villain. They surrounded her. They were set against her. And if being a villain meant being set against Emma Swan… He held his hand before him, his memories reflected in the silver surface of the rings he wore. His trophies. His sins. How often had he stained them red?

He could never be a hero, but perhaps he could learn to use a hero’s tactics. Perhaps he could learn to be…better. For Emma. For Henry.

Taking a deep breath, he turned from Rumplstiltskin. The man could live. For now. After all, if Killian allied himself with Emma and Rumplestiltskin was set against Emma, it could only be a matter of time before the Crocodile’s reckoning came. And then, Killian would show no mercy. His lips curled into a half smile at the thought.

# # #

“Care for some company?”

Emma groaned, her head sinking to her crossed forearms as Killian slid onto the stool on the other side of her. She did not need to deal with him right now, especially since five minutes she caught herself wishing he would walk in the door.

“Or I could go,” he said, standing quickly.

“No,” Emma said. “No. You can stay. Just…I don’t want to talk about it.”

He swiveled on his barstool, facing her for several long moments.

“I can abide by that if you will answer one question for me,” he said when she finally acknowledged him.

Emma pressed her lips together, weighing her options. “Fine. One question.”

“What changed your mind?”

She fiddled with her glass, swirling the remaining whiskey at the bottom for several long moments before she answered.

“I know I can’t beat Regina doing things the right way, but…” She stopped, unsure of whether she wanted to share her backstage revelation. She threw back the rest of her drink, setting it down with a heavy clunk. “Maybe I’m not a hero if I lose, but if I won based on a lie then I’m definitely not a hero and if I’m not a hero, what place do I have in Henry’s life?”

Killian didn’t reply right away. When curiosity finally forced her to look at him, she found him staring at the floor, the muscles in his jaw tense. She turned away before he could look at her. She shouldn’t have said that, not after she had hidden the truth from him for so long.

“Emma.” His voice was soft, a plea. He smiled, not his usual smirk, something kinder, something that made her feel like maybe they could do this…thing. That maybe for Henry’s sake they could be friends. “You are his mother and you love him. You’ll always have a place in his life.”

She chuckled darkly. “We’ll see how he feels about that when he’s sixteen and moody.”

Killian snorted. “Let’s hope he takes after you in that respect.”

“Do you think I did the right thing?”

“Does it matter what I think?” he asked, smiling at Ruby as she wandered over.

Emma shrugged. “Not really.”

“Good,” Killian said. “It shouldn’t.”

Emma nodded, but she still felt an air of unease about him. Not quite disapproval, but there was nothing about this situation that he liked. Of course, there wasn’t much about this situation that she liked either.

But, she thought as she circled the rim of the glass with her finger, I did the right thing.

“Another?” Ruby asked, her long fingers snatching up Emma’s glass at the first squeak. At Emma’s nod, she turned to Killian, her red streaks catching the light. “Are you joining her? Or did you bring your own?”

He patted his jacket pocket with a rueful smile. “Don’t have it on me tonight, I’m afraid.”

“So that’s a yes,” Ruby stated.

“That’s a yes.” He smiled, his dimples flashing as Ruby rolled her eyes.

For a long moment, the only sound was the clack of her heels against the linoleum, the clink of glasses, and Killian’s steady breathing next to her. Before she could ask herself what she was doing here, wonder how he had slipped back into her life, the bells above the door chimed. They all turned to find Henry, his backpack slung over one shoulder. The shades clacked against the glass as he closed the door.

“Henry,” she said, a little surprised. And a little nervous. This was the first time the three of them had really been together since Killian found out. Well, besides that morning, and that didn’t really count because there had been people all around them… and Regina. “Hey.”

Henry apparently didn’t pick up on the guilt curling inside of her as he pulled one of Graham’s walkie talkies out of his backpack and handed it to her.

“What’s this for?” The little black radio felt solid in her hand, significant. Her nerves buzzed even louder, anticipation and dread a strange mixer for the alcohol already in her blood.

“You stood up to Mr. Gold,” he said, hopping up onto the stool next to her, looking like a mini business man in his jacket and little grey vest. He smiled. “It’s pretty amazing.”

Killian chuckled again. “That it certainly is.”

Emma silenced him with a look, she did not need both of them ganging up in some sort of “Let’s make Emma feel better” pity party.

“He did something illegal,” she reminded them both.

Henry grinned all the wider and Emma had the sneaking suspicion that Killian bore the same grin, even if she couldn’t see him at the moment. She almost turned around and jabbed him playfully with her elbow, like she might have done in the old days. But she caught herself. That would be too much. That would give him hope and she wasn’t going to do that, there were lines and they needed to stay where they were. For Henry’s sake.

“That’s what heroes do,” Henry said, his face thoughtful. His chin dimpled and suddenly, she realized that he must have gotten his serious side from Killian. Or the chin dimple at least. “Expose stuff like that.” He started when Ruby came over, sliding glass of lemonade in front of him before she delivered Emma and Killian’s drinks. With a wary glance over Emma’s shoulder, Henry leaned forward, his voice a low hiss. “I shouldn’t have given up on Operation Cobra.”

Emma’s heart squeezed, Henry’s wide eyes overwhelming and heavy. She picked at her fingernails, unsure of whether she wanted to laugh or cry. Henry believed in her again and she hadn’t even needed to win the election.

The bell above the door broke the moment as Regina strode in, Sydney hot on her heels, like the good lapdog he was. Though at least he wasn’t gloating outright. He regarded her with serious, darks eyes as the pair of them approached.

“I thought I might find you here,” Regina said. Her eyebrows shot up when she say Emma’s glass and her company. “With a drink. And my son.”

The look she gave Henry was tentative and uncertain, and despite everything, Emma felt a little thrill of pride that even when Regina had the upper hand, she still had this. After all, wasn’t that what this whole debacle had been about in the first place?

“Come to collect then, I suppose,” Killian said with a nod at Henry, his voice low and tight. “Would be poor form if you came to gloat.”

“Oh, not at all.” Sydney wore a strained smile. “In fact, I think I’ll join you.”

Emma shot Killian a look, surprised to find him standing, his hook on prominent display on the counter. She stared for a beat, hoping he got the message. I fight my own battles. He sat back on his stool, but his hook stayed where it was, close enough for her to see if she looked down.

She turned back to Sydney and Regina, her eyes narrowed as she tried to figure out their game. Their faces gave very little away, though Sydney still had that pained, but almost pleasant smile on his face. For an odd moment, she thought maybe they were here to offer her the deputy job again. Perhaps Regina got some sick pleasure from the idea of being able to boss Emma around.

Emma leaned against the counter, feigning nonchalance. “Aren’t they setting up a back room for the victory party?”

Sidney’s smile tightened. “Oh, well, you’ll have to tell me what that’s like.”

Emma stopped breathing, the words feeling stuck in her words.

Regina held out her hand, struggling to rein in her displeasure. “Congratulations…” Carefully, avoiding Emma, she reached forward and set something on the counter. “Sheriff Swan.”

Henry gasped. “Wait. What?”

He turned to Emma, like she had answers, but all she could do was shake her head and stare at the six-pointed star.

“Well, look at that,” Killian murmured from behind her.

“It was a very close vote,” Regina explained, her voice nearly too low to be heard over the chiming of the bell once again and the sudden murmur of voices as people entered the diner. “But people really seem to like the idea of a Sheriff brave enough to stand up to Mr. Gold.”

“Are you joking?”

“She doesn’t joke,” Killian said grimly. He looked nearly as displeased as Regina, the muscle in his jaw practically doing jumping jacks as he turned his best Superman impression on the badge. Thankfully, he was no Kryptonian and the badge remained unmelted.

“You didn’t pick a great friend in Mr. Gold, Miss Swan,” Regina said.

Emma jumped a little and found the woman leaning uncomfortably close. Regina smiled, almost cruelly, the glint in her eyes vaguely familiar, though Emma couldn’t quite place the look.

“But he does make a superlative enemy.” The smile widened. “Enjoy that.”

The crowd descended on her as soon as Regina walked away, Mary Margaret was the first to rush up and congratulate her. After smothering her in a hug, of course. Ruby came around the bar, darting through the crowd to replace Mary Margaret. And then Granny. Archie. The guy from the pharmacy. Everyone wanting to shake her hand and congratulate her.

Never in her whole life, had she received so much praise from so many people. It felt good. Especially knowing that all of this came from following her gut. No, she amended, catching sight of Archie again. From following her conscience.

“Don’t want to lose this,” came Killian’s voice. He stood behind her again, the badge clasped in his hand. His fingers felt warm and rough against the cold metal as she took the badge from him. He smiled, despite the deepening shadows in his eyes. “You deserve it.”

She only noticed that she had been smiling too as her smile fell. “But you don’t like it.”

“You are clearly the woman for the job,” he said shaking his head. “Not many people have the gumption to stand up to that…” Again he paused, probably censoring himself considering Henry’s nearby presence. “That man,” he finished lamely. Ducking a little so their eyes were level, he asked, “You’ll let me know if he causes any trouble.”

Emma scoffed. “I think I can handle Gold just fine on my own.”

Killian pressed his lips tight, nodding stiffly. “Well, I’d best be off, then. I’ll just say good night to Henry.”

“Sure, I—” Emma stopped, glancing over to where Henry sat at the counter, his book out once again. Strangely, she didn’t feel any resentment toward the storybook this time, she was glad he was reading it. Unsure of what she would say, Emma cut through the crowd, squeezing in behind Henry. Killian followed wordlessly.

Her kid looked up, a grin lighting his face. “I think I’ve figured out…” He stopped suddenly aware of Killian hovering behind his other shoulder. He slammed the book shut. “Uh. I think I’ve figured out that I don’t really like Rumplestiltskin’s story at all.”

The look of pride in Killian’s eyes struck Emma as strange, but she forged on with her original plan.

“Hey, I was thinking…maybe Operation Cobra doesn’t have to be just you and me.” Though her eyes were on Henry, she heard Killian suck in a sharp breath.

“It’s not,” Henry said, lowering his voice. “Ms. Blanchard and Archie know too.”

With an apologetic look at Killian, who actually looked kind of amused, Emma leaned in. “I know, but I’ve been talking with Hook and…he’s good, okay? I think you should bring him up to speed on all this when you get a chance.”

Henry’s brow furrowed, his nose scrunching lopsidedly. “Are you sure?”

Emma met Killian’s eyes, hoping he understood how big this was. It wasn’t what he wanted, but she wasn’t sure she trusted him that much yet. If she could ever trust him that much—although, Henry would have to find out sooner or later—but maybe this could be their compromise.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

#captain swan #cs crew #cs fanfic #killian jones #emma swan #cs au

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