Was reading Branch’s page on wiki fandom and found this (which made me rly sad)

“Permanent physical deformity.” Oof. Ouch. My heart-

But THEN

I saw that Floyd’s ears droop downwards too!!

Out of all of the bros, theirs are the only ones to droop downwards, which is SUCH a detail to me because it could mean two things 1. Floyd also lost his colors for a time off camera= youngest-gray-bros solidarity or 2. They just designed Floyd that way to be the most similar to Branch- which is SO CUTE in and of itself. So yeah that’s it that’s the detail

lestappen is so popular not because they’re the best drivers on the grid or because of their history in karting. it was never that. it’s because all their interactions are so female-gaze coded. it’s the body language, the eye contact, the way they literally will ignore interviewers when they’re next to each other. debriefing immediately after a race and the unconscious shoe touching. it’s the small things that’s exactly the reason people notice it. despite their history and current positions they’re so gentle with each other. as if they aren’t rivals at all.

"It wasn't bad enough" to "it was so much worse than I even imagined" abused kid pipeline

Episode 5 - Deeper Look

Hyun woo's journey till Episode 5 is finding love again. He had forgotten so much of what made him fall in love, who Haein was. He'd forgotten what made the marriage bearable. Who created that chasm between them? Who refused to accept help as he cried himself to sleep.

Hynwoo's the obvious victim of a vicious marriage but I think the real victim is Haein. Hyunwoo forgot that he loved Hae in. For him the hardship fell on him alone and it made him forget the women he loved was going through equal amounts of pain by losing their child. Feeling only he was being wronged, not scratching Hae in's surface deeper he grew apart. The family, the tears, the burden all came because he didn't have Hae in smiling at him at the end of the day. Hae in didn't change, Hyun woo did.

Hae in whilst collosal at showing it loved him and their unborn child very deeply. She never considers divorce because she never stopped loving him. I'm sure over the years she gathered crumbs of his love and those were enough for her because she knew he cared. And that was enough for her to continue her love in the same way she always had. Hyunwoo realises he loved her when he pretends to care again. He begins to realize again 'oh she's so pretty, oh she makes my heart pound still'.... And it scares him. When he runs away from kissing her in his room in the village he's not scared of her he's scared of the depth his own feelings. He'd never stoped loving her he'd just forgotten how and how much he actually did.

Hae in thinks he's afraid of her, then thinks no, he just doesn't care so the next morning she tries her best to let him know through her words (not her strangest medium mind) that she doesn't care either. She's heard his disregard for her and she's starting to think maybe she's wrong about his love for her. Her doubt's are winning. But then there in the rain she sees him holding an umbrella over her - half drenched in rain himself - and she doesn't understand. He loves her, she knows he does so why won't he love her? It's so confusing. He's selfless in love and for Haein actions have always spoken louder so why didn't he come closer last night?

For Hyunwoo though, words have always spoken louder. He's the one who hears first and notices actions second. For Hyun woo the it moment is when he hears her real thoughts in an interview she gave months ago (before she knew she was dying, when he was seriously considering divorce knowing that nothing could save his marriage). She said she wanted to talk, eat, walk and chat with him *everyday day*. He rewatched it because he couldn't believe it. She's never said it to him. It's been a long time since he's seen/heard her that soft. But they live together so why haven't they been doing all this? And it still doesn't hit him why until he gets to Germany.

Hae in was angry with him, thinking he didn't care as much when she left. She had sensed doubt and she wasn't going to string him along for anything. So dejected when she's at the palace she's essentially there because she's missing him and the time they were really, truly in love. When she was confident he loved her.

And what better way for him to start than to show her he cares. He knew her enough to realize she would not have worn comfortable shoes and brings the shoes to her, all the way from Korea.

When she says they're luring in tourist by saying you'll have no worries and tears he's quick to tell her that's exactly what she did to him. He proceeds to tell her 'now that we are married I should be there for you, especially in times like this.' The way he says it it's like a plea.

Translation: Please let me be there for you.

But her response is the light bulb he's been missing all along.

'Did I ever ask you not to be by my side? I wanted you to be by my side. I never wanted to be alone, ever.'

Translation: You don't need my permission. You misinterpreted my silence. You were always supposed to be by my side.

It's so accusatory in the saddest way possible that it hurts.

Hyunwoo left her alone when she needed him. When they both needed each other. She never pushed him away she just couldn't talk about her emotions but his _action_ (to move out of the bedroom) made all the difference in her perception of them. He realizes in that moment this is beyond just her illness, this is about their loss 2 years ago. And it's painful for him to realize that the reason he's been unhappy has essentially been himself all along. He told himself he couldn't love her. He thought her cruel. And he separated the most intimate space they shared. The single tears falling from both of them is them reliving the collective pain of the loss of their unborn child. They realise what happened. How they messed up. Hyun woo's sorry is truly genuine and deep. You can feel the weight of it being too much for him. Was he maybe also thinking about the actions he's made since episode 1 as well?

Hae in's love shines the most brightly in her words next. She's essentially telling him I think I've realized you're my miraculous way to live. You're the place that has no sadness for me. You're my home. 'Let's go home' has never been more literal. And this is when Hyunwoo really realizes ah this is how she used to express it. I see it - her love. It's been right here all along and now I'm being subjected to it again. And he can't hold it back any longer. He hugs her, let's his tears of pain and shame fall.

Their emotions during the hug are so telling. For Hyunwoo it's so much of oh God what have I done. I love her how did I mess up so badly? And for Haeina it's just relief. She has him back. The Hyunwoo who promised to be by her side, who loved her: he's right there. He's in her arms embracing her.

And then as soon as he can goes in to close the deed he had hesitated in just a few nights before. His heart now allowed to love Hae in again. His mind now able to comprehend her love for him.

And essentially I think this is why the divorce sucker punched Haein so bad. If her disregard was betrayal for Hyunwoo, this paper was it for her.

I've been on this earth for way too many days to JUST realize that a harmonica is called that BECAUSE by the way it plays multiple sounds at the same time it IS like many voices harmonizing together

Rewatching Good Omens 2 with my roommates (it's only my 2nd time all the way through I promise!) and I realized something

This was the morning of the Ball

And this was the morning after

I love how it takes Aziraphale 80 years to start making moves after his realization and for Crowley it takes 24 hours

No, like I was sitting and it just came to my mind after watching the last episode of anime that CHUUYA NAKAHARA COULD ONLY KILL DAZAI IF HE WAS NOT CONCIOUS OR IF WAS FAKING IT. Like it's not that he's not powerful. Nah, bro can legit slaughter the whole show but he WOULD NOT. His heart wouldn't allow it. And there's this thing too that IF DAZAI WERE TO DIE, HE WOULD DIE ONLY BY CHUUYA'S HANDS. NO ONE ELSE CAN KILL him. If he'll have his dream accomplished, he'll have it done by CHUUYA. No one else. "One soul in two bodies" Indeed

Hmm, I've been thinking(Okay so for context, for all my life up to now aka since being born technically, I was raised into a family household that believed in Christianity but mostly leaned towards the Catholicism parts of such since I've heard there are many different types of people of faith with all different names and traditions, customs and cultures of said interest and everything which I think is pretty cool in its own right atleast but anyways- From what I can remember from being apart of my small and average main family system, my mom along with my grandmother from her side of relatives and such, are seemingly the most passionate and active in the church when compared to my dad. My father isn't hateful about such beliefs nor is he even considered an aethetist or agnostic, but he hasn't been following many of the typical "rules" or societal normaly that is considered when being apart of said group. For example, while my mom and grandma go to church every Sunday whenever they can so they can worship our lord and savior of God and his son, Jesus Christ, my dad is often uninterested in traveling to make the literal 5-10 minute journey though he mostly stays inside anyways watching old movies from different foreign countries sooo(No hate to him by the way, if it pleases him then I hope he has fun doing that^^). I'll admit, while I do make attempts to go with my mom, I often find myself unable to due to disinterest, but it's not disinterest in him ofcourse. I would never ad I love him very much and always have, but it feels like even though I do care about our Holy Father and that I haven't directly rejected him, my current daily life atleast as of lately has been feeling like I have currently abandoned him somehow or that I have somehow drifted away from the right path and have become deaf to his word. It honestly makes me very upset since I should be more loyal and honest to him now that I think about it. I used to be such a happy little girl who would pray every day in the morning before school and at every night before bed. I used to go to a private religious catholic school where I would go to church there sometimes too(half of the time it was mandatory on certain days during the hours but still)and even if I didn't understand everything due to my young age, I would quietly sit and listen I'm an attempt to learn more about the holy scriptures and such with my classmates and the other students from different grades/ages. I used to prepare for the moments during one's usual journey, being excited that I would become closer to God by wearing my white dress and getting baptized with other certain selected students(I don't remember what the specific event was called but I remember it being very important to me at the time)and I don't know...I sorta miss it. I miss being so happy and careless of all my anxieties but now I am stuck here...I don't want to stray away from God's love any longer, I don't want my true reality to break away because it makes me afraid of if I somehow commit some sort of unforgivable sin that'll destroy any sense of humanity I have left...(I know that sounds dramatic but please. I am really trying to make a solid attempt at explaining all of this right now so as complex as it may seem, keep in mind that my brain is starting to function again for once in the dying light that is my empty and boring life that while I am still grateful for, has been causing me much hurt and pain in so many ways). Currently I am a 16 year old eurocentric and privileged middle-class white-latino feminine presenting person who is actually a member of the LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent community too according to doctors/psychiatrists or something(I don't know, that's what my dad has said since my late diagnosis at 12 which is that even late?? It's so confusing at times ughh but that's just how it is I guess haha).

On the internet, specifically here and on the couple of social media platforms that I publicly have, I have used these safe spaces to more accurately and honestly express myself when it comes to my identity not only when it comes to sexuality and gender but also with the intersectionality of my race and ethnicity, my hobbies, interests and talents, my wants and needs and etc. I have said before that I am a privileged and middle-class eurocentric 16 year old white-latino feminine person in real life but actually wants to present as more of who I am being a bisexual(male preference having)aceflux female to male transgender person who to be honest is probably more of a mostly male but still bigender or genderfluid person since I still feel connected to growing up in perceived girlhood but I don't know yet...who does know though at that point???Pfttt...I don't hate my body and I know God made me beautiful in my own way just like all the other unique people he created all through out the history of the planet Earth, but sometimes it can be hard since I think the most queer people see me as is just maybe a bisexual cis girl who might be on the asexual spectrum???I hope I am making some sort of sense with my explanation...somehow so with all that being said, I guess I've had some sort of short epiphany in my brain where I've realized something important for me that I've almost forgotten. I need to actively take steps to come back to God and I know somewhat of how to do it but I would appreciate a little more help from others with more expertise aka experience for those who don't have a big and fancy vocabulary in their inner-mind library haha- I do sincerly apologize if I have caused genuine annoyance for anyone with this post for whatever reason as my normal posts are coming back soon once I get back online but for now, I need to go study and do more research on how I can save myself and others for when he comes again. I know it sounds scary but it's actually wonderful so please don't be scared of him, because he loves us all no matter what and nothing can turn us away from him. Worship him and confess your sins because it's good to be honest and he loves you, after all he knows you best like you know yourself since he created the beautiful building of love and passion got the world that is your soul. It's never to late to choose him and to spread the good word of the gospel<3. Please stay safe and have a good day or night wherever you are and thank you if you've read the entire paragraphs of rambles I've written haha. I really do appreciate your support whether it be here, there or anywhere else!!:)You must keep surviving for you and I, for us and eachother but also for him too...

Also P.S: Hope you guys don't mind but I'm gonna put a nice scenery image here since I like being calmed down and enjoy embracing the beauty of nature, especially when we're lucky enough as humans to photograph the right moments atleast!!Other animals sadly only get to enjoy it in the moment which can be too fast since they're constantly needing to survive actively♡.

John Dory, Bruce, and Clay after being reunited with Branch: hey we know you’re like 24 years old but we’re gonna need you to wear this diaper while we rehearse, in front of your girlfriend. To save Floyd.

Branch: o-o

I've had a realization, and I need to share it before I forget it. We need some context first, though.

My therapist and I talked at length about how to navigate the start of the new semester in the best way possible for me in terms of the change in routine, sensory issues, mobility needs, etc. She wanted me try to be proactive rather than reactive to the situations that arise. (She's a very good therapist.)

Sorry this is a long one. Click for more I guess...

For example, I have a heart condition called Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia (IST). Along with what I like to think of as a medical license to be inappropriate at any time, it means that my heart will race for no reason. Sometimes it's postural like POTS, so I can stand up too fast... but I can also just... feel like I'm sprinting when I'm sitting very calmly. Imagine you sprinted on and off all day. You'd be exhausted at the end of the day, too! With meds now, it's a lot better than it was... so it's more like... I'm jogging throughout the day? The analogy has gotten away from me. 🤷‍♀️

Whenever my heart races, I get really hot and break out in sweat from everywhere. This would just be annoying, but I am REALLY REALLY heat-sensitive. It is one of the top 3 ways I will go into an Autistic meltdown. So my heart races, I get hot and sweaty, and then I can't focus on anything else. It doesn't take long for the situation to get out of hand. I know this, so I have a little desk fan I take with me to classes if I need moving air. This is when my therapist BLEW MY MIND! (She really is a very good therapist.)

She told me that the accommodations I had allowed for myself (sitting while teaching and a fan if I need it) would not avoid a meltdown because they are things you do to maintain equilibrium... if I'm already overstimulation, I don't need maintenance. I need to shock my nervous system back into maintenance. She said, "When you're overstimulated like that, you don't need a fan. You need ice." And like... yes duh! So I got one of those face rollers people use for their skin routine, and it was my "shock" to take with me. And it works AMAZINGLY. Seriously. Life changed.

After all of our prep, this week was a true gauntlet of a test. What was supposed to be a one day adventure of helping the roommate buy a car turned into a 7 day marathon of phone calls, discoveries, learning way too much about the state of car insurance in this country, and then finally getting everything in order for the DMV to close for a holiday weekend. It was also the first week of classes, so I was returning to my job that very loudly rejected me this summer. It's hopefully my last year in academia, so I'm feeling every emotion. Oh and my dad was in the hospital for an amputation. Basically... it was ripe for meltdowns basically every day. And let me tell you... not a one. This summer I've been having a meltdown about once a week. I can't... this therapist deserves all of the money.

Now for my realization! (Remember that was where we started?) I realized that in the past when I knew I was overstimulated and couldn't promptly exit the situation, I would try to dissociate and go to a happy cold place. Somehow, I had subconsciously bought into the idea that Autistic sensory needs are mental needs... and they are quite literally physical, nervous system needs. And when you treat them as such, and don't try to "just push through" the very real physical situation you are in that you are sensitive to... life gets exponentially better. Seriously. My life is so much better. I just needed to share. 😊

having to take fentanyl to be able to sleep, eat, function normally is so weird actually now that I think about it, like I'm really dependent on this substance now and when it runs out and I can't get more I get hella sick,, wack

but nodding out is a feeling like no other, a warm blanket of heavenly bliss where no one can hurt you for the moment and your problems seem irrelevant for a bit

We are all constantly evolving into cooler versions of ourselves. And by cooler not trendier or more popular but more of a genuine authentic beautiful representation of ourselves - with all of our beautiful layers emerging and evolving as we grow more, learn more and meet new people. I think that's pretty awesome to think about.

I want life to feel like drugs.

STOP I JUST REALIZED THAT "SITCH" IS SLANG FOR "SITUATION"

LITERALLY THIS WHOLE TIME I JUST ACCEPTED THAT SITCH WAS A WEIRD CODE WORD BUT NO ITS BECAUSE SHE'S A TEENAGER WHO USES SLANG

WHY DO ALL OF THESE REALIZATIONS COME A DECADE AFTER MY CHILDHOOD?!