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darkleysgarden · 7 months

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Into The Alters

A Total Drama Analysis

INTRODUCTION

I have been obsessed with the whole system. I love them all sm. And because of this, I had to analyze them ofc. That's what I always do. I'll start with more general things and then deep dive into the alters and how they formed.

Disclaimer: I do not have DID, nor do I claim to know everything about the condition. I have done my best to try and learn about it and be as accurate as possible. If I make any mistakes or use incorrect terms, please tell me! I'm trying my best and genuinely hope to improve. Tyty.

WARNINGS: I will discuss ableism, child abuse, sexual abuse, overall trauma, potential murder/crimes, and other Total Drama typical things.

Also, whenever I say 'they' or 'them', I'm referring to all the alters or multiple of them.

OVERALL VIEW OF THE SYSTEM

DID often forms from trauma, and this system clearly did form that way. I'll get into it more on the alters individual parts, but the way they act and the roles they take on help prove that their pasts were very traumatic.

What is the goal of them going on Total Drama?: I believe that the goal is to move out. I rewatched it recently, and I remember no mention of the bodies parents, no mention of their pasts other than hints at juvie, nothing. But, Nico, how can you say that it's specifically to move out? Throughout the seasons, it's hinted at that Mike knows little about TD. He's heard of it. He knows general things. Yet, he doesn't understand more niche callbacks. Most of the new cast mentions being huge fans or watching the series before. Mike, to my memory, doesn't. Mike never points out his goal for the million dollars, and the last thing he wants is fame. He even goes against his psychiatrists wishes of going on the show. Why is a million dollars so important to get? To move out. The DID formed from something, right? The most obvious way to form would be because of parents or guardians. And if you don't believe me yet, the only reference as to what they will do with the money is by Mal. Mal says he wants to use the money to live out his life his way in a tower of his own. AKA, he's using the money to move into a new place and gain free will. And I'll go deeper into that in a moment.

EDIT: I just found out that it's basically canon that they were using it to move out. The Fresh TV official blog confirmed that Mike and Zoey moved in together shortly after All Stars. Obviously they would have used the money to do so.

Overall, what I am saying here is that they have a bad home life and are going onto Total Drama to escape that. Both while the show runs and when they win. They even went on two seasons even though the first was stressful enough and they weren't having a great time. When people come back, they have a reason that they detail. Fame or fortune. We never get that from Mike. Because it's personal. It's personal and not something he is willing to share on international TV.

WHAT DOES THE RESET BUTTON DO?

After much research, the reset button does not seem possible to me and I have a new theory on what it actually did.

Via my research, I could be wrong, you cannot get rid of DID entirely. Alters can not be killed. To get rid of Mal would have required Mal to comply with it, and Mal was not complying.

Integration is possible. Parts can be erased. Though, in the end, Mal would come back like seen in the show. He can not be entirely erased because that's just not how DID works. Even integration, forced dormancy, and letting go of alters would take a ton of work and time. Getting rid of Mal would be hard and would be one thing. But to erase all of them and get rid of DID entirely? It's impossible from what I've seen. It's hard to erase a single alter, especially if they don't want to go like Mal. Usually, they leave by decision or go into dormancy on their own. And it seems that usually, if an old alter is erased, a new alter usually will form that is very similar to the old one.

Alternative theory: What do I really think the reset button did? Dormancy.

This would be hard, but not impossible. Like I said before, it's a choice that leads to dormancy and erasure. Aside from Mal, they were all on board with the decision. They would be able to put themselves into hiding in the meantime while Mike sorts his life out. All 5 of them would likely be able to force Mal into dormancy together, especially considering that we know they did it before.

"But Chester directly told us that-"

Chester is not reliable at all. Nobody else knew what it did. They were operating off of what he told them. Chester is shown to have shit memory and not know what he's talking about. He could have easily not explained the button entirely correctly.

I believe that once the show is over, Mike moves out, things settle down, the alters will slowly come out of dormancy as it feels right.

This is probably me being in denial that they're gone, but idc.

SVETLANA

Omg, Svetlana. I am her biggest fan !!!!!

Sorry.

Anyway. I suspect Svetlana is a fictive. Actually, my boyfriend came up with that. I'm stealing it from him. Ask him for more details. Idrk the details.

Basically, Svetlana is extremely detailed. She holds information and memories that seem to have come from outside of the systems experiences. She is too detailed to be a randomly formed alter.

How did she form?: So, I believe the character was off of a book character? I WASN'T THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THIS PART. I bet you're thinking, why aren't you researching this? I'm ranting to myself rn okay. I'm just also putting it on the internet for funsies. I'm operating off memory rn. All my research has been done off random questions I've had while pacing around my room at 3AM.

UPDATE: we've changed our minds. There's an Olympic Russian gymnast named Svetlana who has won TONS of awards and holds common references with her. She was also actively competing at the time Mike would have been a kid. So he could have been watching her and wanted to copy her acts. Svetlana Khorkina, if you're interested

Anyway. Young Mike is experimenting with himself. Because that's what every kid does. This doesn't necessarily mean that he's LGBTQ or anything. A boy can try on dresses without that being the case. People experiment with their identity, especially at a young age.

However, people don't like that. Because people are bitches fsr. Idk. And I already speculated before that the bodies' parents aren't great. An alter is forming off a book character he found relatable. The character being female is part of what gave him this interest in looking at feminine stuff. Yet, he got in trouble for it. In that situation, Svetlana would form off of the character, making her a fictive. Yet, she has also become a protector. She is now there to protect the physical aspect of the body. She's the one who works out with her gymnastics. She probably does skin care and that stuff. She knows how to get dressed well. She is there to protect the physical aspect and keep the body healthy.

And she won't fail to defend them from anybody who dislikes a boy wearing makeup or anything of the sorts. Those gymnastics muscles aren't fake bro.

Age speculation: so I don't feel like researching the book more. In fact, I can't even remember if it was a book. So I'm basing this entirely off of canon.

I think she is 14 or so. Though, with her, I can see a lot of fluctuation. I used to think she was more in her 20s. But, I think it makes much more sense for her to be a young teenager. Also, just saying this now, but my age headcanons are just headcanons. So, if I don't work with your ships, you can move them to a degree as long as it isn't weird. JUST DONT MOVE MANITOBA OR VITO MUCH AND ILL GET INTO THAT.

Back to Svetlana, though, she acts a lot like a young teenage girl. We know she has participated in many gymnastics events, and I feel like she wouldn't be so active in doing them if she didn't feel comfortable with the age group, if it wasn't very similar to her own. Which leads me to somewhere teenage. And then idk if it requires an explanation, but she gives 14 year old girl energy.

Also, I have a random silly hc that Svetlana was the only girl that could beat Skye in gymnastics. Svetlana had to participate somewhere, and they're both Canadian and probably would end up at the same competitions. There may be proof to disprove this, but all I've seen is "but the body is male," but Svetlana wouldn't participate in boys' competitions, and maybe people just aren't transphobic. Idk. SVETLANA HAS A TON OF AWARDS IN CANON. SHE ISN'T JUST SAYING THAT. IT'S IN THEIR ROOM. Sorry, I'm off topic.

MANITOBA

Another one of my favorites and another fictive WOOHOO.

So the creators, from what I've seen, have said Manitoba was based on Indiana Jones. And then they took Australian aspects from two non-fictional people.

That's why I've decided to call Manitoba and Indiana Jones fictive.

Formation: Nothing huge to this one. I believe Manitoba formed mostly off comfort. Indiana Jones was a comfort character. A cool explorer who could get out of any situation (I think. Admittedly, I've never actually watched it.)

We see constantly that Manitoba fronts specifically during tough situations that are hard to get out of. He's smarter than the others in many ways. He is always able to call out Mal's slip-ups and lies. He knows what he is doing and is able to protect and save the others from tough times. That is his main purpose as an alter.

Also, I think it's interesting to note that Manitoba says that Mike gets in the way of his relationships, and then Mike said that the alters would ruin his romantic relationships. I'm just saying that Manitoba probably had a love interest we didn't get to see. Idk. Just had to bring that up when talking about him. Listen, I'm analyzing them for the system, but I'm also doing general analysis, okay?

Age speculation: So... I see a lot of people speculating that he is like 20-40. I don't believe that. I placed him at about 18-19.

I couldn't figure out if fictives are always the same age as the character they form off of. But, let's say they are. In that case, I believe that it's highly likely Mike could have formed Manitoba off of the 13 year old Indiana Jones River Pheonix played. Then he continued to age.

The reason I don't like the older headcanons is mainly because he flirted with Zoey and was implied to be in past relationships. Obviously, these people wouldn't be far off from Mike's age. Going off of a 17 year old Mike, Manitoba is only 2 years older. I also just don't see it fitting for him to be much older? I can see him acting 20-25, but like I said I prefer it younger as it makes more sense with his relationships.

We never see Chester flirt with anyone for this reason. He's too old for them. It would be weird for Manitoba to flirt with them if it was the same case. And speaking of Chester...

CHESTER

Ima be so honest. I'm not hugely interested in Chester. Yet, I do think he's interesting in the aspect that he is different. And I believe he is an introject (if that's the correct term).

Mike's parents were shit in this speculation. He would search for someone outside of them. Like a grandparent. I also want to credit deranged_royal on tiktok as she formed most of my Chester headcanons and helped further my other analyses. She also has really cool cosplays. So follow her rn.

How he formed: Mike looked up to some kind of grandparent figure who ended up dying. He was hurt by this as he had nobody else to look up to. Therefore, an introject formed. It seems that introjects of people systems know in real life often form off of people that provide them comfort or have died. So, I think this makes sense.

Age speculation: 60-80

I feel like old people don't really act differently after they hit 60 or so, so I don't really know. He's probably older because of the issues he has.

Sorry, Chester is so short. I don't have too much to say about him. We don't get a lot of him, and I feel like he is very easy and simple to understand. I love his scenes, though. He's so silly.

VITO

So we all agree Vito is the sexual protector? All right. Thanks. This one goes more into sexual assault and sexual situations!!!

Formation: I actually have two separate theories for this. They both lie in sexual assault. But I'm leaning towards a sexually abusive ex over guardians.

The reason I think this is largely based on how he acts with Anne Maria. Also, the tiktoker I mentioned earlier also noted that he only fronts when the body becomes stripped of clothing. Interesting detail....

I love Annito. I'm their biggest fan, actually. I'm working on rewriting their entire wiki rn because all the system wikis are outdated. I love them sm. Break from the sadness. Look at the cuties.

Anyway. Have you ever noticed how attached Vito gets? He meets Anne Maria, and she is all he can think about from then on. He does anything even if it annoys him just to see her again. Assault survivors tend to get attached easily to those who show them positive attention. Also, they want to take charge of the more sexual aspects. Vito starts making out with Anne Maria within about 5 minutes of meeting.

Anne Maria gives him the interest, care, and control he seeks in a relationship. And now he clings to her. And they're healthy. I LOVE THEM AHHHHHH. Sorry. They're perfect together.

Age speculation: 17-18. This one is obvious to me. He acts like every high school senior. Plus, Anne Maria was 16 in roti. He's no more than 1-2 years older than her. Especially since she thought he was the host before the DID discovery. That means she thought he was about 16. Would be weird if he wasn't.

MIKE

Wowzers. We're at the host!

Okay. Mike, I get it you have internalized ableism. This issue, however, leads to a lot of mistreatment of his headmates. He acts like he owns them, which isn't a positive thing to do.

I love Mike a lot, but I will not erase his actions.

He never allows anyone to front unless it is for use. For example, Svetlana, if it's a physical situation. Then after he fronts immediately again. They even imply that he was never in headspace, meaning that he would only ever let them co front or would fully dissociate.

He didn't let them be their own people, which is really sad. He also didn't allow them their own relationships. Though they have as much of a right to those relationships as Mike does.

Just because Mike is the host or the 'first' doesn't mean that he isn't still an alter. He becomes an alter the second an alter forms for the first time. He is now only one of the people who shares the body.

Also, this may be controversial, but I don't like how Zoey treats Mike. 😕 I don't really have strong opinions outside of their relationship on her. But, I dislike how she, even after a year of dating, seems to not understand anything about his DID. Plus, she always brushes off every other alter and doesn't try to be friends with them or anything. Instead of helping with Mal, she just acted like Mike was lying to her. I like their friendship, but I can't ship Zoke for those reasons.

I could say more about that, but this isn't a Zoke hate post. Mb bros. I probably just lost a few of you. Too bad, so sad. Mal is the best part. You're gonna miss him.

I know I have more to say on him, but I am honestly blanking right now. It's hard to say more about him as he didn't form the same way as the others. I don't really know much about the first alter, so I don't really want to say more for that reason, too.

MAL

Oh, boy. Buckle up.

Idek where to start. I'll accidentally leave out sm because I have sm...

Formation: Mal was the first alter after Mike to form. I'm confident in this for sm reasons. For example, none of the other alters knew about if Mike or Mal formed first. Let's say Svetlana formed after Manitoba. Manitoba would know he was there before she formed as they all actively communicated with each other. Though, they all formed before juvie as they knew about that whole situation personally.

Therefore, I'd say that Mike and Mal have known each other since Mike was about 6. Which makes sense with the research I've done about formation ages. And this is why they know each other so well. Mal is able to imitate Mike extremely well. What gave him away was WHISTLING. And then the bracelet/necklace thing, but like, that has nothing to do with how well he knows Mike's personality.

He knows everything about Mike. And Mike NEEDED him. That is explicitly said by Mal and confirmed by Mike. Mal was formed to protect Mike from abusive or traumatic experiences. And that is why Mal is the way he is largely.

Mal experienced a traumatic childhood. And I believe he's younger than Mike. When Mike is 17, I believe he is only 13-15.

I believe that Mal is terrified of the fact that Mike doesn't need him anymore. So scared that when Mike is put under a ton of stress on the show, Mal fronts full time to take the situation into his hands. He still wants the same goal as the others, to move away. But he is doing it his own way. Also, notice how much he targeted Zoey? He hated anyone getting close to his headmates. He wants to protect them.

"How do you explain him being so rude?"

He is a kid who had a bad childhood. Because of this, he wants to take out the pain he received and push it onto others as well. That's why he's so aggressive. And part of it is just him being a devious 13 y/o.

And, don't forget that that kid was in jail.

Speaking of, he ran the place, right?

Of course, he would want to run the place. It's a whole jail troupe for a reason that you need to make yourself feared. If everyone was scared of him, nobody would hurt him.

That brings me to what I think got Mal into juvie.

Self protection murder.

From what I've seen of the laws, I believe he could go to juvie instead of adult jail for this based on the trial. And if it's self-protection against an abusive person, he could get off with less. I believe. I'm no expert on Canadian law or law in general.

Why do I think this?

Well, Mal had to do something pretty bad to have everyone fearing him. A young kid with a body at like 13 (my guess for body age when in jail), who committed murder. Everyone would stray away. Especially if Mal left out the details and claimed it was in cold blood.

Mal likely fronted most of the time during juvie. He had to go through that rough and scary situation. He went through all of this traumatic stuff.

And then...

Mike forced him into dormancy.

He loves Mike and wants to protect him. Yet, he holds a grudge against him. Mike formed him and made him suffer, and then now tries to get rid of him.

Of course Mal would be upset.

How he acts in All Stars is heavily based on a mix of his grudge against Mike, his trauma, his young age, his time in jail, and overall the nature of the alter he was formed to be.

Mal was formed to be someone stronger and more protective. He wasn't supposed to back down. He was supposed to save them all from that abuse.

But, he's still young and still his own person. It's going to take a toll on him. Especially if he only got to front during the bad times. He now only knows how to take out his anger as a way to protect himself and his headmates.

I know I have a lot more to say about Mal, too. But it's getting late and I'm tired and blanking.

EXTRA

I suspect that after juvie, they were placed into therapy and some sort of foster care. Even if they aren't in an actively abusive home now, they wouldn't trust that it couldn't turn bad. Plus, they would want their own space and control after everything.

So, I'm gonna end it here for now. It's midnight and I'm eepy.

Tell me if I made any mistakes please!!! On canon info or on DID or whatever

If you want more details on any headcanon or have any questions or anything put it in my asks. I love receiving asks. I'll gladly rant to whoever is interested.

Though, for now, I'm tired. Night night.

Live, laugh, love Svetlana.

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pennyblossom-meta · 2 months

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Analysis of the romance in Death Note's Spiraling Trap game.

EDIT 02/03/2024: minor edits and fixes, added a few imgs and extra content.

A huge thank you to the folks over at agtteam who translated L - the ProLogue to Death Note: Spiraling Trap into English! Now we can all date L become FBI agents after hours.

I've been playing the game recently and one of the features I love the most is the L Communicator, which allows the main character (referred to as MC henceforth) to take a break from adventuring and listen to L talk about whatever is on his mind.

There's around one hundred different lines available as the MC develops a relationship with L and they paint him as such a sweet, attentive and thoroughly unique individual that I was surprised by how detailed it was. If you're thinking about playing, then this part is definitely worth putting effort into.

The mechanics of the dating sim are relatively simple: during the adventure, you'll pick up a number of recipes hidden among traps and tools. Then, Watari will provide the ingredients and you can give L whatever sweets he specifically craves. These recipes and cravings depend on the time of day and can be season specific.

Character analysis

As stated in-game, giving L sweets causes his appreciation for the MC to grow. However, L being L, means that he craves different sweets throughout the day. He's definitely very specific about what he likes and what he wants for his sugar fix.

However, if you give L something he isn't craving at that specific moment, he will sulk. The way he expresses his displeasure varies according to the depth of the budding relationship he has with the MC.

L: To tell you the truth, there are many other things I would have preferred. L: [F/N], I hate to say this, but I really would have preferred something else. L: F/N], you must know that I was hoping for something else, right? L: [F/N]… It’s not my favorite but, it made me really happy.

Note: Given that the books in the expanded universe (Another Note and L: Change the WorLd) came out before this game, I think some of the quotes further ahead might be a subtle nod to how L is perceived by the police forces as the "creepy murder detective". However, references about his piece of mind lead me to believe that L craves some respite from the burdens he carries on his shoulders — burdens so strong that they managed to curve his spine.

Note: I'm unsure how the system here works, as the MC also gets points for gaining L's trust in the actual adventure when they a) agree with his observations and b) find key objects hidden in unsuspecting places. It might affect the available lines through the L Communicator.

L: Today is going to be a better day… Let’s think positive. L: I wonder what kind of morning this will be. L: It seems the air outside is crisp this morning.

L: I want to finish what I need to get done before night falls. L: It’s nearly sunset. Time for children to go back home. L: If you just stare into space, night will be here before you know it.

L: It’s already evening… Time keeps passing me by. L: There’s something different about the air at night. L: Night-time, dusk… It’s the witching hour.

As a naturally introspective individual, L observes the world around him and draws conclusions. To my surprise, the game actually managed to capture how observant L is about small, unsuspecting details of daily life and give him a slightly poetic side laced with a hint of wistfulness that suits his character well.

This is a side of L in his private life that I personally wish we had been able to glimpse during the Kira investigation. Though, at the time, L was busy trying to prove that Light was, indeed, Kira. It left him little to no time to enjoy the world around him. During the brief time that L could have had a semblance of rest right before the Yotsuba arc, he was depressed that his deductions were "wrong" — though I could see him musing about some of the above, equal parts whimsy and sulking.

L: If I start to lose my touch… I guess I’ll retire. L: Another day, another mystery… L: I have a lot of thinking to do. L: I feel like doing some capoeira… L: I haven't played tennis for a while. L: The weather today is… Well, it matters not. L: I, um… No, ignore me. L: Am I reading too much into it…?

As a thinker, L has a lot of unfinished thoughts he says out loud. Some border on cliché, others are musings about things he'd like to do or that he's missing.

I wonder if some of his thoughts end up trailing off because, suddenly, he catches himself and believes they're not important? Or that he doesn't think the MC would be interested in what he has to say beyond work matters?

L: “In spring one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn.” Though, too much sleep isn’t good for anyone. L: If you think about things persistently, noticing all the sides to them will come naturally. L: Strawberries… Despite the name, they aren’t actually berries. How berry disappointing. L: The one who has thought it through wins. It’s true for chess, and for deduction. But in the case of love… I don't know.

He's also a philosopher at heart, always thinking about the human condition. In these we can also witness his dry humour, silly puns along with a subtle desire to share his thoughts on the world and give helpful advice.

As for love, L is cautious but willing to learn. It's a topic where he's out of his depth.

L: Um, Watari is… L: I wonder if Watari’s asleep? L: What could Watari be up to? L: Today is Thanksgiving Day. I am truly grateful to Watari for his diligence.

I found it interesting how L's thoughts eventually go back to Watari and what he's doing. He's the one person that L relies on and whom he interacts with the most. Other people are passing acquaintances at best, who show little interest in L beyond work.

Notice how he mentions diligence? Although it is a utilitarian consideration, it also reveals a thankfulness for the comforts of familiarity and the peace of mind that trusting someone close brings. This is a topic we'll explore better at a later stage, i.e., how trust and acts of service work as a relationship builder.

Romance

Neutral stage

One of the first things I've noticed is that, during the early stages of the relationship, L is still very formal and quite a bit dismissive — even borderline rude. As his sugar fix gets sated by the MC's keen suggestions (Watari provides the ingredients, of course), L grows gradually more fond of them and wants to include the MC in his life with an enthusiasm I can only define as endearing.

L: Aren’t you bored? You don’t have to check in on me. L: Don’t you have stuff to do?

At the beginning, L is still wary of the MC on a personal level as they have absolutely no rapport beyond a partnership of circumstance and usefulness in the name of justice. He's quick to get bored and doesn't take it very well when he's given sweets he isn't craving. A bit childish, one could say, the way he sulks when the MC errs by not reading his mind.

L: Did I enjoy it? Let me just say “no comment”. (about sweets that weren't quite to his taste)

It's also very in-character for L to feel both annoyed at someone who is randomly calling him and be suspicious of their motives.

Growing interest

L: Spending the afternoon with you isn’t so bad. L: Even though it’s late, you’re not going to bed, huh? L: You must be a night owl, [F/N]. L: I’m a little curious about you, [F/N]. L: Are you having a good time? I’m just curious. L: You’re kind of… Ah, no, forget I said anything.

He starts addressing the MC by their first name as he becomes more enamoured. It's very sweet. I was pleasantly surprised at how attentive L becomes as he gradually comes to the conclusion that this is a person who understands him.

Mind, due to game mechanics the MC gains approval by giving L sweets, but from a narrative perspective what's really happening is that L not only feels seen and understood, but also accepted. And when that happens, he starts lowering his walls and relaxing.

As a plot device, I would say these are defining moments within L's thought process here; he's curious about the MC, finds them interesting enough to want to know more them and pursues that curiosity to see what they might have in common. It seems he's both a little baffled and content about this development.

L: [F/N], what do you think of when you see a sunset? L: What are you doing this afternoon? Oh, should I not have asked? L: Are you a night owl? Oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.

It should also be noted that L is very mindful of boundaries. There's a tentative, almost shy attempt to connect. He's determined to indulge in his curiosity since the MC's attentiveness towards him shows an opening for closeness he's unused to (but is happy about) and to tend to his more immediate needs (i.e., food cravings), which in turn shows a genuine concern for him. Aside from Watari, I doubt anyone ever extended L similar kindness.

And it is in this determination to get to know the MC that I also find Mello's words (AA: LABB Murder Cases) that L is actually a very active, aggressive individual with absolutely no interest in social conventions perfectly represent him this game, as he navigates a growing fondness with expectation, curiosity and caution — on his own terms, while minding that he doesn't overstep.

L: Staying up late talking to you… It makes me feel calm.

I find it particularly heartbreaking how this confession of L unknowingly makes it more transparent how burdened he is. The spine curved by burdens unseen, the addiction to mind games and sweets; all of these point to stress factors which isolate him further, increasing the loneliness and lack of affection in his life.

That L feels the need to mention the MC makes him feel calm seems telling.

L: We’re both late workers, huh? That makes me happy. L: [F/N]… You’re pretty formidable. L: It’s reassuring to have a partner like you. You’re someone I can trust. L: Your feelings have been received. (Valentine's Day) L: The fact we’ve become so close was an unexpected development on my part.

And here it is, the acknowledgement just as L enters the highest stages of approval, where he expresses admiration and happiness at the close bond he developed with the MC.

"An unexpected development on my part" is quite the turn of phrase. One can only wonder, but I'd make an educated guess that L didn't see this coming because:

a) no one showed feelings towards him before. In his line of work, hidden behind a screen there is no time to indulge or get attached to anyone (he would mistrust their intentions anyway) and so L keeps everyone at arms length, sharing little more than a professional side of himself and fostering utilitarian relationships that help him win "games". L ultimately carries various burdens the average civilian would never be able to understand, all due to the pressure of his job. When failing at the "game of cat and mouse" means being responsible for the likely deaths of dozens, perhaps even hundreds or thousands, the stakes are up in unimaginable ways. What started as a thrill chase can have catastrophic consequences should L fail. That in itself alienates him from society at large. It's a game that L plays well and absolutely profits from, but it is also an indicative of two major flaws: his addictive personality and how he suppresses his emotions to carry on. Coincidentally, it's the expanded universe, in particular Another Note: LA BB Murder Case and L: Change the WorLd, that give us the best insight into this. This isn't too dissimilar to the struggles policemen face in high risk jobs or technicians who have to flag and delete sensitive content from online platforms. These people end up changed from what they see — and some carry traumas for the rest of their lives. That's not to say that L doesn't feel for others. He respects people whom he considers good or morally upstanding (Soichiro Yagami), who are competent in their line of work (Naomi Misora, Mogi), worthy of a second chance (Aiber and Wedy), who speak their minds, unafraid (Aizawa) or who are reliable, loyal to him as a person and not just his cause, in whom he can place his trust and feel secure won't betray him (Watari). The MC seems to fall mostly in the last category, though the relationship is rather precocious — and there seems to be a fair amount of wishful thinking and even projecting on L's part, since communication happens over a device connecting two people remotely. He falls both for the idea of the individual and their attentiveness towards him. When L mentions that they make him feel calm, I'd argue it comes both as a surprise to him and a confession of a closeness and safety he intimately craved — though I personally view L as someone who feels lonely and wanting healthy human contact, even if his social skills might not be the best (worsened by his distrust of people as a whole). Someone who ultimately is willing to adapt to him but whom he can adapt to, as well. Someone who sees him as a person and not an unfeeling robot. It's a POV that certainly challenges certain aspects of DN: Vol 13. I would further argue that L's portrayal has evolved significantly beyond the manga, and that his subsequent humanising is partially a result of the creative liberties the English translations took, as well as a more empathetic view of the character and hidden struggles. Each medium displays a separate iteration of L, with common variables.

b) L fosters distant relationships with others as a safety measure. Aside from Watari, L's contact with other people had always been distant, work-focused, perhaps even tainted by notions of his supposed creepiness as a kinky detective "who relished bizarre murders" (L:CtW). He's useful to the police because he achieves favourable results, though L is still viewed as "a human computer, capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath" (L:CtW). He isn't necessarily liked; in fact, I would argue he rubs people the wrong way most of the time — as we can see during his interactions with the Task Force, during the events of Death Note. L is tolerated, a useful asset who is both mysterious and a pain to deal with. However, he's also put on a pedestal due to his status (i.e., Relight, the children at Wammy's). For the latter, he purposely shatters their idea of L as this unbeatable, paragon of justice by defining himself as a monster (anime), a dishonest cheating human being who hates losing (manga). I do share in lux-mea-lex's perspective on L doubting his own humanity and how it fuels a certain self-hatred for distrusting everyone around him. As lux mentions, "love comes with trust" and L is an excellent detective precisely because he questions everything and everyone — but it comes at a cost: his own loneliness. To draw a parallel, L's ultimate flaw — and that which makes him great at his job — is not unlike what we see during the moments of extreme anguish that Veronica Mars goes through in her personal relationships and which draw people away from her when she oversteps boundaries to prove she's not being lied to. That mistrust comes from experience, for people burdened with having seen too much and it's not unlike a kind of paranoia acquired when one has to deal with the worst of humanity on a daily basis.

Full reciprocity

L: [F/N] you’re the light that illuminates the dark night. That’s an exaggeration of course, but… L: What I need to live is glucose… and to talk to you. Nourishment for my brain and heart. L: When we’re together, I feel like there’s no problem we can’t solve. L: The afternoons I get to spend with you are precious to me.

When the MC achieves the stage of full reciprocity with L, he's very open to showing vulnerability and lowering his emotional defenses. I found this to be particularly sweet, as L is such a secretive man with so many hidden layers that him being willing to show such honesty with that one person he holds dear is incredible character development.

Beyond the game, I would say that achieving this stage with L would be much more difficult and, naturally, would involve going beyond picking the best sweets for him.

Something important to keep in mind is that L seems to value acts of service, as the people who interact with him more closely have some utility value and aid his work. However, L's life revolves around his work; he lives and breathes his detective work, which is why having a partner who brings him peace would be so important.

L: The time I spend with you is as important to me as the sweets. L: Good morning. It makes me really happy to see you here. L: For your sake… I’d think of a way to get through anything. We share a bond. L: When you have time, I’d like to take you to a shop that makes the best sweets. L: When you’re free, how about we play tennis together? I will have Watari reserve a court. L: If something were to happen to me… I want you, as the person I hold dearest, to carry on the L moniker. L: When my thoughts hit a dead end late at night, I feel like I’m stuck in a maze. But, having you here makes me feel reassured.

I also found it very sweet how L takes the initiative to plan for activities to do together with the MC. And how their presence, their reassuring words make him feel at ease. It seems that a loving relationship would give L a goal in life beyond his work.

Carrying on the L moniker... this quote might be the result of L's trust in the MC growing during the events of the game, or a sentiment L nurtures due to the MC being attentive enough to understand his specific cravings. But being able to read L and having the mental dexterity to become him are different things, as the latter involves a lifestyle that few would want and a complete focus on work. Even FBI agents have lives beyond work.

L: I learned from you that sweets are the bond that brings people together. L: You give me true peace of mind. No one could ever replace you. L: The way I am now, I… I can’t think straight when you’re not around. L: Being able to share this sunset with you, I couldn’t ask for anything more. L: You understand, don’t you [F/N]? What my heart so strongly desires is something more… L: When I talk to you, I feel like my senses are sharpened. Thanks to that, my radar has become more sensitive.

What a sweet guy. I love how L focuses on the little things and just wants to spend time together with the person he holds dearest. It's almost as if he daydreams a close, loving relationship — a trait that clashes with L's logical side.

This game and the expanded universe of Death Note have convinced me that there are many more layers to L than what we can see in the main story.

As Fu Takahashi, who plays L in the 2020 Japanese version of the musical, said:

“(...) A common thing about L among these versions is that, despite his superficial image as a smart guy who hates losing, he actually feels lonely and needs affection, I imagine. Perhaps he is an orphan – his character suggests so. He tries to control his emotions, like the feelings towards his parents, or romantic feelings; that’s why he is sort of dependent on games or battles of the mind. So I want to play L while thinking about the foundations on which his personality has been formed.”

I think this quote and the game are actually very telling of L's core personality and how it moves beyond that cold, calculating persona that defines him in the manga. It's also more in line with the characterisation that we see in the anime and the books, which help humanise L.

As I mentioned elsewhere, learning how to trust and be comfortable around someone else would do L wonders. Though that person would have to accept him for who he is and help him learn how to navigate a healthy relationship.

Perhaps the true test of love, for L, would even be for him to be confronted with someone who knows who he really is and, is not only kind to him, but also sees the best in him — regardless of his flaws. I think that we've had a glimpse of it in this game and it's a breath of fresh air.

#death note #l lawliet #death note: spiralling trap #spiraling trap #romance #death note meta #watari #character analysis #l lawliet headcanons #l lawliet x reader #in a way #kira #soichiro yagami #aizawa #naomi misora #aiber #wedy #task force

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samuraiko · 11 months

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Thoughts on CANDELA OBSCURA from a longtime gamer and GM

Wow.

Just wow.

Full disclosure here: I’m a long, LONG, *LONG*-time gamer (I have been playing RPGs for almost 40 years now), and I will scrutinize the fuck out of any new system or setting that I think is interesting.

So when CO was announced, I was eager, I was interested, but I was very much withholding judgment because I wanted to see the system. I wanted to look at its rules, crunch numbers, get a sense of the setting, see how well it was written, and so on.

And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been excited for games only to get my hands on the rulebook and see that it is riddled with contradictions, missing information, sloppy editing, etc.

THANK FUCK THAT CANDELA OBSCURA MAKES NONE OF THOSE MISTAKES.

(Seriously, I saw *ONE* spelling mistake in the book and it is LAMPSHADED by the margin notes.)

The Quickstart Guide is efficient without being too sparse, detailed without bogging you down, and gives you just enough information to get up and get going, while plainly indicating where greater breadth and depth will be available in the full ruleset.

Spenser Starke (one of the two creators) has openly acknowledging standing on the shoulders of others when creating the rules and mechanics for this game, so gamers familiar with other systems will see how those have influenced CO - for example, Blades in the Dark’s influence is definitely felt, as well as nods to the FATE system, and I also see hints of Modiphius’ 2d20 system in here (especially their Momentum mechanic).

Also, and I cannot sing their praises highly enough for this, CO absolutely calls out the inherent social issues with running a game in a setting like this, as well as warnings about steering away from certain all-too-baked-in stereotypes and cultural Zeitgeist impressions. To their credit, they provide alternate suggestions (far more useful than just “don’t do this”) and examples. Over and over and over throughout the QSG, the creators address these issues, and even in some instances call out the real world equivalents and how and why they are problematic. Bravo.

Is this game for everyone? Absolutely not - and the creators know it and openly state it.

But if this is your jam, or you’re even curious about dipping your toes into supernatural horror RPGs... this one has got your back.

EDIT: MORE IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS HERE.

#candela obscura #critical role #darrington press #ttrpg #rpg #tabletop games

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midnightfantasiez · 6 months

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Watch It | Lee Sangyeon

SUMMARY: you were summoned to stop the crime spree of the renowned group The Boyz by hacking into one of the systems to retrieve information about a specified location before it's too late. what you did not expect was that their leader has been spying on every move you make from the shadows and eventually confronting you about it, which then turns into your biggest nightmare.

PAIRING: criminal Sangyeon x hacker f!reader

GENRE: smut (18+ MDNI!!)

WARNINGS: kissing, petnames (sweetheart, baby, princess), mentions about violence/illegal business (stealing), size kink, voyeurism, dirty talk, public sex, rough sex, fingering, handjob, p in v sex, unprotected sex, they went for rounds, mean dom! Sangyeon

WORD COUNT: 3,235

A/N: let me explain. it was the ✨stare✨ from the concept pic itself that gave me ideas for this fic 😭 huge thanks to my bubba @juyeonszn for beta reading this & convincing me to change my theme ily forever 🥺💜 also shoutout to @daisyvisions @snowflakewhispers for fueling me with ideas / validating my horniness oops— (but ily both so much 😘)

“Agent Y/N, are you in position?”

“Yes, sir. I am waiting for the right moment to jump into the enemy’s territory.”

With one click on the earpiece, you immediately turned off the buzzing sound from the headquarters as you needed to focus and ensure that you were all alone and secure as you entered the place of interest.

As you flung your backpack onto your back, you quietly peeked through the few trucks parked in the parking lot right outside the abandoned building. Given that your job was to hack into the system and you needed good internet service, conducting it outdoors would be much more ideal than inside the building itself.

You and your team received a transmission hours ago about how this group of individuals has been conducting illegal business, such as stealing information from multiple laboratories—specifically ones located on the outskirts of Seoul to avoid detection and arrest. According to your team’s analysts, they have also discovered how they had been stealing chemical solutions that were pretty much hazardous to the public, and god knows whatever they will be using them for.

In other words, they are a pretty suspicious gang, and someone has to look into their spree of crimes before things get out of control. Being one of the best hackers on the team, you were sent to the actual location to hack into their system as best as you could.

So here you were, in the depths of the night, staking out the parking lot alone, hoping that all goes well and that you can quickly do the job and get out of there as soon as possible. Frankly, it all felt super eerie, especially when it was this late at night, and there weren’t many street lamps to provide enough light to make you feel safe by yourself.

After looking thoroughly and confirming with your eyes that you were alone, you slowly moved towards the multiple trucks parked in the middle of the parking lot. You managed to squeeze yourself through them and get to a well-lit area; that was when you finally took your laptop out of your backpack and started hacking away.

To the best of your abilities, you were able to sneak into the laboratory’s system fairly quickly, and you ran over their live security camera footage to check if the criminals were within the building. Immediately, the security camera footage popped up on the screen, and you could quickly identify several men scattered throughout the different labs within the facility.

“They were probably looking for the right chemical, " you thought, as they were all split up and divided into three groups in each laboratory. While they were trying to find the liquid, you had to quickly hack into the database to retrieve all of the information regarding the facility and the chemicals produced over the years and quickly send them back to your headquarters for analysis.

After about 10 minutes of transferring all of the files, it was time for you to get out of there and return to let the other agents that were on their way to take over and confront the criminals themselves. You weren’t a field agent, so you couldn’t do much physical combat against the criminals themselves. As much as you wanted to, you weren’t ready for your title as an agent to be stripped off you anytime soon; hence respecting the laws and just doing as you were told would be the wisest decision for now.

You quickly phoned the headquarters, letting them know you had retrieved all the necessary documents and would finally return to report. As you were permitted to do so, you got up and were going to keep all of your belongings back in your backpack until one of the security cameras began flashing.

You quickly got back down again, trying to see what was happening. That was when you remembered a crucial detail.

According to the information you guys have had so far, you knew that the group of criminals consisted of 11 members, so you decided to do a headcount one by one on the screen, starting from 1 to 11.

“8…9…and 10.”

10?

Someone was missing, but who?

Just then, a deep husky voice broke you off from your attention on the screen, and you looked around to see where it was coming from. Finally, you landed your eyes towards one of the vehicles right across you, and there he was—one of the criminals sitting right on top of the truck with both his legs spread wide apart, looking down towards you.

“Aren’t you pretty good at your job, sweetheart?”

Oh no. You were busted.

“U-umm…sorry…it’s just that…I was supposed to write a report regarding this facility, so I am here to look around.”

“At this hour? Close to midnight? I highly doubt that, princess.”

Immediately, he hopped down from the vehicle in one swift movement and began approaching you slowly. You instinctively shut your laptop, hugged it close to your chest, and backed away.

“I-I’m sorry! It seems I came at the wrong time! I will take my leave now, then. I’m sorry to have disrupted you!” You bowed down profusely before turning your heel and tried to run as quickly as you could until he grabbed your wrist and pulled it upwards, turning back in his direction.

There was this smug yet dangerous look on his face, contradicting the pure and innocent look he had on before. That sent a chill up your spine, and you quickly gulped before he slowly pushed you till your back finally hit against one of the trucks. You closed your eyes upon the impact and elicited a quiet yelp with his movement.

Suddenly, you felt his fingers lift your chin, and he commanded you to open your eyes to look straight at him.

“Now sweetheart, we weren’t done having our little fun conversation yet, were we? It breaks my heart that you decided to take off running before we even started.”

You were panicking as his grip slightly tightened around your wrist, pushing it back against the truck, signalling that you would be dead meat if you tried something funny again next time. You were stuck, and there was no way you could ring the headquarters as that would blow up your cover and the location of the base of operations.

The only thing you could do was to pray that the field agents would make their way over to you soon until you heard a mild static and a voice calling through the earpiece.

“T-there isn’t much ser-service here, b-but we will be sli-slightly late d-due to the he-heavy traffic. H-hang in t-there, a-agent Y/N! W-we’ll surely be c-coming—”

And then it all went silent.

Your only hope was lost, as the enemy threatened and pinned you with little to no help coming your way anytime soon. You could use your physical combat skills to fight against the man before you, but something in your gut told you that it would be a horrible idea to try anything funny with him right now.

With that, you could only take a deep breath and try to talk things out with him for a bit, stalling some time before help eventually arrived.

“W-what…what do you want from me?” You questioned, or more like stammered. It was clear that you were trembling in your voice.

The man chuckles slightly as he smiles back at you. “See, sweetheart. I’m afraid I can’t let you off that easily, knowing that you were spying on us and retrieving crucial evidence and information that would hinder our mission.”

This time, his fingers on your chin slowly travelled down to your neck and chest. It was the way he took his time gently sliding his finger down and touching your bare skin that made you let out a gasp.

“I’d like to play a little game with you, princess.”

“W-what do you…” You were beginning to lose your mind as he brushed his fingers across your lips, smudging the lipstick that you’d put on prior.

“I’d like to see how much you can handle, and trust me, we will have so much fun. I’ll make sure that you won’t be heading back to your headquarters anytime soon.”

Within seconds after that last sentence, he crashed his lips with yours and began savouring them as a tingling sensation ran through your body. He quickly deepened the kiss, his lips moving against yours with urgency.

It was wrong. This was all so wrong.

You knew how bad this situation was because he was your enemy. But then, something about his lips made you crave more. His kisses tasted like honey, and the way he moved his lips against yours drove you insane.

Without you knowing, your grip against the laptop slowly loosened, and eventually, he took it away from you and gently placed it on the ground, his hands quickly moving back up to your cargo pants, rubbing the spot in between your thighs, earning a gasp from you.

He smiled as you gave him the reaction that he wanted, and he began to untie your pants before pulling them down, his fingers now brushing over your sensitive spot through the lace underwear that you were wearing. Slowly, he began to feel that you were starting to get wet, and that was his cue to hook his finger under the seam of your underwear before pulling them down, revealing your now wet clit all exposed.

You hissed as the cold air from the atmosphere came in contact with your clit, and it took the enemy a moment to reconnect his fingers to your wet sensitive spot, rubbing it again before slowly inserting two fingers into you.

“Aah…aaah…”

“I’ll be a dear and tell you my name, princess. Call me Sangyeon, moan for me,” he leaned towards you and whispered.

“S-sangyeon….”

“That’s it, baby. You’re doing so good for me. I shall grant you your next reward now, hmm?”

As he removed his fingers from your clit, he quickly moved them to his pants, unzipped and shoved them down rather hastily. It was the way you immediately noticed the erection through his boxers, and your eyes widened from just that alone. Sangyeon smirked at your reaction and reconnected his lips to yours to give you a few pecks.

“Look at you already can’t stop staring at my big cock. Oh, baby. I’ll make sure that you won’t regret playing with it.”

Immediately, he grabbed your free hand and guided you to touch his erection. You gasped from that alone while Sangyeon let out a soft groan. You couldn’t help but naturally start rubbing his tip, which made Sangyeon moan for you.

“Touch me, baby.” He commanded.

Guiding your hands again, he allowed you to pull his boxers down, and your mouth watered at the sight of his massive bulge. You wrapped your hands around his cock before you began gliding your hands up and down his member. In return, he inserted his fingers back into your clit once again, and the both of you were now a moaning mess.

“S-sangyeon…kiss me…please…” you whined, wanting to taste his sweet honey-like lips once again.

“Oh, honey. You love the way my tongue twirls around yours?”

“Y-yes…very much…aaahh—”

Just like that, he was now back to kissing you breathless. As his tongue slid into your mouth, he began sucking your tongue, and you shut your eyes tightly from the sensation. It made you forget entirely about how you were supposed to escape this guy as soon as possible, trying to find a potential hideout place to wait for your fellow agents.

It seemed as if Sangyeon had wrapped you around his fingertips, just as he had planned to, and he would make sure that you wouldn’t be leaving this place anytime soon. He would proceed to the next step of his plan anytime now.

He gently removed your hands away from his bulge as he took it himself to align the tip towards your entrance, and you knew that you were in big trouble. Now, you tried to move forward when his hand, still grabbing your wrist, tightened again and pushed it back towards the truck again.

“Oh no, princess. We’re just getting started. Stay here with me, and I’ll give you the best fucking sex you’ll ever have.”

As soon as those words slipped out of his mouth, he immediately slid himself into you, and you all but screamed, a teardrop falling from the corners of your eyes. Sangyeon didn’t even give you enough time to adjust to his huge size fully and eventually began slamming into you hard.

“Fuck—fuck.” It was all that you could’ve said because you had already lost your mind ever since he kissed you for the first time. Now that he was within you? Oh, you were far, long gone from reality.

Given the way he was fucking you so hard, even the truck that you were leaning against began rocking back and forth following your pace.

Your eyes watered as he hit every single spot within you, causing you to cry out loud. If you were to be honest, it actually did hurt, especially which such a large and hard dick like his. But the pleasure far exceeded the pain, and you cried out for more.

“Sangyeon…sangyeon…”

“Tell me what exactly you want, baby.”

“Keep it going…please…”

“Just like that? Are you sure that is enough?”

“I…want you to fuck me faster and harder—”

“Anything else?” He was now picking up the pace, and it was visible that his chest was rising up and down much quicker than before as he tried his best to catch his breath.

“I…want you to fuck me till my legs feel numb, give me more and more…aaah—”

“That is what exactly I like to hear, sweetheart.”

As he slammed into you hard, you felt a tight knot form around your stomach, signalling that you were about to reach your high and cum. Sangyeon noticed your demeanour as you buckled your hips and spread your legs wider for him to gain more access to you.

“I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” You screamed.

“Do it, baby. Cum all over my cock, I want you to be dripping wet just for me.” He growled.

With a few more pushes, you eventually released and spilled all of your juices all around his cock, so much so that it was oozing out of you, and it all splattered on the ground.

You breathe in heavily before Sangyeon gives you a gentle kiss on the lips, reassuring you that you have done so well for him.

“That’s it, princess. What a good girl you’ve been. But unfortunately, there is more to come baby.”

He grabbed both of your shoulders before turning you around rather aggressively, so now you were facing the truck instead. If you were to be honest, that rough act of his turned you on more than it was painful. It was a few seconds before you felt his grip return to you on both sides of your hips, as you felt his cock rubbing up and down once again on your dripping wet clit.

Sangyeon leaned forward to whisper in your ear, sending you a chill down your spine. “Give me some more, baby. You know you can do it.”

As he pushed his cock back into you, an immense moan spilt out from your mouth as he began pounding into you again. You had already had sex and felt his member all around you just a minute prior, yet you were still struggling to adjust to his bulge.

“God, sweetheart. I’ve already fucked you hard, and yet you’re still so tight. I guess I wasn’t rough enough.”

As he pounds into you, your hands that were pressed against the truck begin pushing the vehicle once again. If only there were someone around, you swear to god that the car's movement would be more than enough to prove that something wasn’t right and that there were people everywhere in the empty parking lot.

But your comrades are still nowhere to be seen, and you were still bounded by the criminal himself, fucking you till you were sore to the point that you would not be able to walk on your own after this.

“S-sangyeon…I-I wanna cum again for you so badly…” You whimpered.

This time, he moved one of his hands up to grab a chunk of your hair and pulled it back; that firm sudden grip caused you to scream once again for him.

“Do it then. Cum with me this time.” He commanded, pulling your hair and pounding into you even harder.

“Fuck—fuck—fuck—Sangyeon!! I’m cumming!!”

With one final hard thrust, both of you released your liquids before slowing down the momentum and catching your breaths together. He removed his grip from your hair before he grabbed your chin and turned your head back for him to kiss you again. You snaked your hands up to his neck to return the favour.

Just then, you heard sirens coming from afar, and you heard static in your earpiece again.

“Agent Y/N, please respond! We’re finally here to infiltrate the facility; please head out, return to the back of our vehicle, and stay put!”

It was your cue to leave now, and there was no more extended point in you staying here.

You gulped before you pulled away from Sangyeon, mustering up the courage to reject him for good this time.

“S-sangyeon…I have to go…I can’t stay here any more.” You stammered, hoping that he would finally let you leave this time, especially since he had already gotten what he wanted.

But you should’ve known better because his familiar dark and dangerous look was plastered on his face again, and he pushed you back against the truck.

“You know, now that your comrades are here, I’m afraid there’s more reason for me not to let you leave now, hmm? I’ve been stalling time for my boys to get what they want in the facility before your agents arrive to ruin our plan. While they were doing that, I was out here guarding the area, making sure nobody was to sabotage our plan.”

So that was why he played this little dirty game with you.

“Knowing my boys, I’m pretty sure that they have gotten everything we need, and all they have to do is defeat your fellow agents, and then we will leave. And while they are doing that, you will keep me company until they’re done.” He threatened.

This time, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you towards the front of the car, directly where you could see clearly how your fellow agents were confronting the criminals. Within seconds, a fight has broken out between them across the facility, and you have no choice but to stay here helplessly and be unable to provide them with any aid.

Before you could say anything, Sangyeon yanked you down towards the hood of the car so that you were lying on top of it, and he prepared to go for a third round with you.

“I want you to watch closely with how you and your fellow agents are going to fail this mission terribly while I fuck you real good till you’re begging for more.”

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @flwoie @heemingyu @snowflakewhispers (join my permenant taglist here!)

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tallseaweed · 19 days

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Buddy Request: are you a Loki obsessed high fantasy lover?

I would really like to connect with fellow Loki fans who want to rant about/analyze Loki and Thor's psychology, family dynamics, Asgardian society, Jotunheim, magic/seiðr, and the Nine Realms. Ideas/thoughts that aren't canon-compliant with the MCU are more than welcome!

Here are some fics with these types of themes that I have thoroughly enjoyed and been inspired by:

Ásgarðrian Galdr by Valerie_Vancollie

Bargaining by proantagonist ( @proantagonista ) [thank you SO MUCH for the rec @alwida10!]

Frostbite by Maiden_of_Asgard

Once More With Empathy by Kairyn ( @bfaymiller )

A Fairytale Beginning by the_lady_amphitrite ( @the-lady-amphitrite )

Let me set the scene:

For the past year and a half, I've been working on developing a longfic featuring a Thor 2011 Loki and an OC Sigyn. Honestly, I don't think that I'll get around to posting it anytime soon (there's still so much work to be done on it), but it's constantly on my mind. It's sort of a hybrid concept of the MCU, Norse Mythology, my own ideas, OCs, and magic systems. It has an epic scope with multiple arcs and characters from most of the Nine Realms. Do you like characters with wings? I got you covered. An imminent threat to the Nine Realms? Check. An in-depth analysis of Ásgarðr and Jǫtunheimr's history uncovered during Loki's identity crisis? A Jǫtunn OC? A Laufey that never wanted to lose their child? Check, check, and check.

I've found it hard to talk to people about all this because it involves a LOT of worldbuilding. Epic fantasy definitely isn't for everyone and this will not be a "light" read. Some non-fanfic stories that have inspired me along the way include the Roots of Chaos series by Samantha Shannon (The Priory of the Orange Tree and A Day of Fallen Night) and Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. So if you like those types of stories, you might like the ideas I come up with.

If you relate to anything I've said, I also want to mention that I would love to hear about your ideas as well! If you feel trapped inside your own head and feel hesitant to "info-dump" on people, I am the person for you. And hey, maybe we can inspire each other :) Fanfiction is not about gatekeeping, and I have been unabashedly inspired by so many different takes on Loki that I've read along the way.

Sending this out into the Tumblr void, hoping it finds the right people!

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projectdrow · 3 months

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How the Bad Batch can end well

So here are my 5 thoughts on season 3 and what’s to come after. I recommend @eriexplosion if you like reading interesting thoughts, analysis and ramblings, a lot of their recent posts inspired this one.

First of all, the trailer was a work of art. It gave us some really random scenes, but also some very direct information that we can speculate on like crazy, if we want to. Also, the title-episode list comes in handy, I will refer to it.

1.) Episode 1-3 one go

I’ll come back to why the show needs to end before May the 4th later, and that’s another reason for the multiple episode days.

When a streaming service like Disney drops more than one episode, they often do so because they think viewers might be lost, because the single (first) episode does not have the full “boom-bang-drama” potential.

I think we’ll see the liberation of Crosshair, maybe even Omega, in the first three episodes. The trailer makes no secret of the fact that Cross will rejoin the team. So this story will not be the main focus of the whole season and the first episode might built up solely for the climax of the escape/liberation in episode 3. At least something heavy will happen at the end of “Shadows of Tantiss”

2.) Omega as the main character

Omega’s character is a very typical tool in storytelling. Throw a character who knows nothing into an established system, so she learns everything with/for the viewer. Sure, the boys are main characters, too, but Omega is the point of view of the kids(! - I’ll come back to that later)-show we’re watching. She can’t be gone for that long, because I don’t think season 3 will be a “Omega’s adventures on Mt. Tantiss”. I think episode 6 and 7 (“Infiltration” and “Extraction”) the latest will bring her back.

3.) So what’s the story?

Actually, and some might say that’s a big take, a lot of the first episodes will be about Tech. I don’t think I need to elaborate to anyone why it makes no sense for him to be dead and never had.

When we first saw this Clone X, there were some interesting “Undercover-Tech” ideas, but after analyzing the trailer in more depth and especially what appears to be an attack on Pabu led by this Clone, well, I think that’s Tech. And not undercover, no, the full on brainwashed, highly dangerous Imp!Tech. Episode 10 is called “Identity Crisis”, which could very well be Tech’s. But they’ll get him back, don’t worry, also because the second part will be about the BB finally deciding what to do with their lives. Which leads directly to 5.), but first:

4.) (Almost) no one dies

Two reasons. First: We already had that devastating Tech-death scene. He AND Asajj will be brought back from the dead this season. Any further death this season wouldn’t convince anyone anymore, not even the kids.

Second: The kids. It’s still a children’s show. Yes, Star Wars kills of characters in them too, but @eriexplosion made a very good point in this post: That’s not what this show is about. TBB has been about the struggle of Clones finding their place, finding family, finding a meaning. All of that would be for naught, and that’s why I think everyone survives.

Also: The last episode is called: “The Cavalry has Arrived”.

5.) About the future

I think the Bad Batch was intended to be released earlier. As well as the trailer. But with the strikes and Filoni being promoted, their was a lot going on. With the triplet opening and the double episodes, we’ll finish on May 1st. And that would be just to perfect to announce the follow-up-project on May 4th. I see another Clone series on the horizon. The Clones work, the people love them, it’s all there, the characters, the stories, the animation. It’s a safe bet for Lucasfilm. And sure, it would work with Rex, Cody and more as main characters, but the Batch was intended to be and is a stark contrast to the “Regs”, especially if they get Cross and Tech back.

Sure, Omega could be the leading figure again, but… nah. I am writing this because I’m absolutely convinced that we won’t have seen the last of the complete BadBatch after season 3.

Star Wars is about Hope. So I hope.

#The Bad Batch #Star Wars #TBB speculation

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oltammefru · 8 months

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As promised, here is an analysis of these two specific words ("terminal illness") in Theresa's letter to Kal'tsit, and Kal'tsit's subsequent reaction to them.:

(from Theresa's letter to Kal'tsit)

First off, let's talk about Kal'tsit's reaction to this line, but before we can do this, we have to talk about a piece of context that's necessary to understand everything, which is that Theresa had intended for the letter to be found and read by Kal'tsit at a time where the dust had settled and things were at peace. However, Kal'tsit, being the all-knowing catgirl she is, found the letter almost immediately and read it while the fallout from Theresa's death/the collapse of Babel was being resolved. At the time Kal'tsit read it, she didn't really have the proper time to process her grief, and was in a very very different mindset than what Theresa had intended when reading the letter. Keep this in mind throughout the analysis, since it's a decently relevant background detail. I've talked more in depth about this detail in a previous post.

Another important piece of context (and this part is sort of speculative and a lot of it is specifically the way I interpret things, and feels somewhat less "directly supported by canon" than most of the rest of this post), is that towards the end of her life, Theresa is quite a bit more sorrowful. At this point, she has been forced to flee her home, she's been turned against by those who were close to her, the Kazdel civil war has been going on for a while and there's not really any end in sight. By the time she's written the letter, she's sort of accepted her fate, that for this to end in a way that is acceptable for her, she must die and leave those she loves behind. For the most part, Theresa's letter to Kal'tsit is one that still has her signature idealism and hope for the future, however, I'd argue that there's a few parts, especially the line about her having a "terminal illness," where we can see this fatalism sort of leak through. To Theresa, perhaps it was always fated to end like this, one way or another, because she is, after all, a patient living with an uncurable, terminal disease.

Now, let's talk about how Kal'tsit reacts to this:

(From Kal'tsit's 3rd file. The context for this is that Kal'tsit is reforming Babel into Rhodes Island basically immediately after Babel's fall/Theresa's death.)

Kal'tsit's reaction to this line seems sort of unusual or uncharacteristic, especially given just how much she believes in Theresa and everything she said and stood for (which Kal'tsit herself acknowledges here.) She is clearly greatly affected by what Theresa said, to the point where it seems that she's almost desperate to prove that Theresa was wrong. We'll come back to this later.

Now, let's examine the concept of "terminal illness" in a literal sense, and how it relates to Kal'tsit's role as a doctor (once again, interpreted in a literal medical sense).

(From right before the Bird Mephisto fight.)

Kal'tsit, as a doctor, believes that purely medically speaking, there is no such thing as an uncurable or untreatable disease. To her, even conditions like Oripathy which seem untreatable are (to quote Kal'tsit's 3rd file) "waiting for the day they can be cured to come," and therefore not something a doctor should ever use as an excuse.

However, this is Arknights, and the concepts of "medicine" and the role of "doctor" have meaning far beyond just their literal, medical sense; "medicine" as a concept is also a metaphor for many of the more overtly political themes we see in Arknights. Like Aak explains (while simultaneously calling you "my dude"), the concept of "medicine" goes far beyond merely just "treating patients":

By itself, the concept of medicine is sort of reactionary, in that the doctor aims to treat the symptoms and disease and harm done to people, but that alone doesn't do anything to address the systems that cause them and can often serve to reinforce them. To people like Kal'tsit and other Rhode Islanders, it is part of their duty as doctors to proactively fight against injustices and dismantle the systems that perpetuate those injustices. This is why Rhodes Island, despite being ostensibly a medical organization (and they are one!) is also very willing to get involved in political matters (which you can see in basically every storyline and event in which Rhodes Island as an organization appears in.)

(Kal'tsit says this right after the previous Bird Mephisto passage)

In particular, one metaphor Kal'tsit really likes to use is to compare hatred to a disease. (The most prominent example of her saying this is during the flashback of her invasion of Kazdel in chapter 11, so it feels a little weird/perhaps a little out of context to use this as an example, but despite that I think that comparison does encapsulate her worldview well.) To her, her missions of protecting the lives of those that live on Terra, treating illness, and dismantling the ways in which people are oppressed and exploited are really one and the same.

If you pay attention to some of the things Kal'tsit says, you'll probably notice the perspective she has on the concept of "fate":

(This appears in Kal'tsit's conversation with the Doctor after the Bird Mephisto encounter.)

To Kal'tsit, the concept of fate is meant to be "shattered," as we see her say in this conversation that she has with Outcast in a flashback in Chapter 9. (I don't believe it's ever outright stated that Kal'tsit was the one talking to Outcast here, but I'm like 90% sure it's her.)

(This is once again from the conversation with the Doctor before the Bird Mephisto encounter).

The existence of life on Terra is very precarious, in many cases, it's a continued struggle for existence that is liable to go awry and must be actively protected. In many ways, the struggle for existence itself on Terra, a world filled with hatred and prejudice, even as many disasters threaten to destroy everyone, is just another form of that struggle against fate and inevitable death that Kal'tsit talks so much about. For Kal'tsit, to struggle against fate is really what is at the center of being a doctor. It's a refusal to allow fate to take its course for Oripathy to claim the lives of more people, it's a refusal to allow hatred to divide those that should be united, it's a refusal to allow the greed of those in power to use others to their own ends, and it's a refusal to allow the existence of life on Terra, which itself hangs on by a thread, to be extinguished.

Now, going back to the "terminal illness" line (because this post was in fact meant to be an analysis of that line.):

One of the reasons why Kal'tsit is so affected by that line is because she interprets it as Theresa having a moment of despair when faced with her death, and perhaps in that despair, entertaining the notion that perhaps Oripathy will never really be cured and its effects will haunt humanity forever, that the cycle of violence will never truly be broken, and the brighter future that they have all fought so hard for may never really be achieved. Another is that she sees the way in which Theresa accepted her own fate, death, and wants to make it so no one ever again has to have the same acceptance of fate and belief that "being infected is a death sentence" that Theresa had. When Kal'tsit reacted to Theresa's "terminal illness" line the way she did, what she was really saying to Theresa was: "No, you were wrong to say that Oripathy was a terminal illness. I will make sure all you fought and struggled and lived and died for will come to fruition and I will make sure no one else will ever have to experience that same despair and acceptance of the inevitability of your death that you had to suffer. If you ever despair or are ever in doubt, I will remind you, and I will be there to witness that better future that you dreamed of for you."

#arknights #kal'tsit #kal'tsit arknights #theresa #theresa arknights #character analysis #when coming up with this post I came to the realization of just how similar patriot and kal'tsit are in many ways and I #kind of want to do a post at some point analyzing that.

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wen-kexing-apologist · 5 months

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Reflections in Last Twilight

Alright, I was not really planning on writing analysis on for Last Twilight, at least not this early in the game. But my dearly beloved @dribs-and-drabbles has called to me like Beetlejuice to analyze the use of reflections in this show. Which means i have been summoned, which means, it is time to bust out the meta.

Now, having just looked back through both Episode 1 and Episode 2, there have not been that many instances of reflections in Last Twilight so far, though the ones we have had already are definitely memorable. So let’s get in to it.

Episode 1

Intro Sequence

I’m not going to talk about the reflections off the fish tank here because the actual scene they are tied to comes in Episode 2 and I think there will be a whole lot more to say then. But I do want to acknowledge that we will be getting reflections at the beginning of every episode, and that Aof is already establishing the important symbolism of fish and jasmine.

The first actual reflection we get in Last Twilight comes in the form of Mhok in the side mirror of his sister Rung’s car.

Rung's car has been sitting in Pae's garage for a year at this point. It would be gathering dust if Pae hadn't spent time over the course of that year meticulously maintaining her vehicle. In fact, that is the very first thing we see happen in this workshop. Pae taking car of Rung's car in her and Mhok's sted. Taking care of this car was not his job, we can assume that he did not anticipate the time commitment that would come with maintaining possession of Rung's car while Mhok was in jail, but he has set himself up to task and gone, in my opinion, above and beyond what was expected of him by continuing to maintain her car.

Pae is surprised when Mhok hands him the spare key and says Pae can sell the car. Mhok at this point is in the anger stage of grief. He blames Rung for her death, and wants to absolve himself of the grief and guilt by maintaining the idea that Rung was to blame and to try to rid himself of any and all reminders of his sister. Mhok, as we know, is incredibly alone. His mother died when they were young, his sister has died, he is no longer associated with his friends/coworkers from his old shop after they all got arrested, and he hides as much as he can from Pae. Mhok has Phorjai and Phorjai only as any sort of support system, and she's his ex-girlfriend, so I don't think we need to go too in depth to acknowledge the complications there.

Mhok wants to forget his grief, his pain, and I appreciate greatly that Pae won't let him do that. That Pae knows Mhok enough to understand that the second that Pae sells that car, Mhok is going to regret letting it go. So he extends another six months grace period to let Mhok actually think it over. Mhok looks over the car, at the bandaid that Rung put on the little scratch she got her first day owning the car, in the glove compartment where all the handouts for her failed budiness are. And Pae allows Mhok a minute alone, in the dark of his sister's car.

At which point we get the reflection. Now, personally I think Jimmy has some work to do as an actor, which means it feels harder for me to accurately read Mhok's face/emotional state. But, for me, here, Mhok looks *tired*, but most importantly, he is trapped in the frame of the side mirror, he is stuck in the dark, and he is alone. In just one small frame, Aof is showing us the aspects of Mhok's character that will help him recognize himself in Day, and tell us why Mhok needs the relationship he has (or will have) to Day.

This is the only actual reflection we see in Episode 1.

But I do want to comment on the end of the episode, like everyone else has, about part of the *The Little Prince* reading that Mhok does at the end. Namely the line "what is essential is invisible to the eye".

I don't think, in a show with going blind as a part of its central theme that we really *need* to look deeper in to the significance/meaning of this line. But because I have been asked to talk about reflections, I want to go a little overboard on the line reading here. Because, day to day we can't see ourselves, right? We wouldn't know exactly what we look like if we couldn't look in to a mirror. Mirrors, reflections, are often a subject of insecurity, providing us the opportunity to pick at every flaw. In mirrors, dancers can watch and correct themselves, their body positions, tweak their choreography based on what they see that they normally would not be able to. Actors can practice facial expressions in the mirror, figure out how they have to hold themselves to make their emotions believable. In horror movies, mirrors show us what lurks in the background, in spy movies it shows us what exists around the corner. And in our deepest moments of guilt or shame, facing ourselves in the mirror becomes a challenge.

I don't want to get too ahead of myself on predictions about this show and what Aof is planning on doing with it, but personally I think the use of mirrors/reflections is a perfect way to show what is essential and invisible to the eye. Mhok is not looking at himself in the mirror here, and if we were standing in the room with him, we would not be able to see his face at all. But the side mirror of Rung's car allows us to see what Mhok is thinking and feeling. But he isn't looking in the mirror himself. He isn't and hasn't started facing or confronting his own grief, isolation, or pain. I don't know that Mhok is as of yet capable of seeing what he needs to change in his own life, because he hasn't reflected on his own life.

Episode 2

The first "reflection" we get in Episode 2 is not really a reflection, at least in the traditional sense, but I do still want to talk about it. I am of course talking about the selfie with Aon.

Mostly because I wanted to acknowledge that to me, a photo is a kind of reflection in that you can both look back at yourself and also reflect on the memory of the time. To be honest, I don’t know exactly how I feel about Aon taking this picture of Mhok, because he takes it for the Society for the Blind. But how are they using it? Is this evidence that Mhok is here and doing what he said he will, or is this going to be used in marketing of some sort? Either way, it is capturing a moment in time that Mhok could one day look back on to reminisce about the beginning of his relationship with Day.

And here Mhok is with someone else, a second person to accompany him where before he just had himself. But this is fake, this is quick, this is right after Mhok has just been shut out of all proceedings between Aon and Day. Mhok doesn’t know what’s happening before he is being told to smile for the camera. And if anyone were to see this photo, they would see a very happy Aon and a decently confused Mhok, but they would have no idea how limited a connection to Aon, Mhok would have had at this point.

The next reflection is a bit difficult to see, but it comes during the conversation Day has with Mhok about the eye drops, where he explains he can see more clearly right after he uses them. In this scene, Day is talking to Mhok while keeping his gaze affixed to the lone goldfish in his increasingly grimier tank.

Mhok and Day have a brief conversation about whether or not the fish is lonely since it is the only one in the tank, and Day brushes it off by saying that goldfish have short memory and that it couldn’t possibly be lonely.

But, whenever we see Day on screen here, we see his reflection in the glass of the tank. And there are a few great moments during this conversation where the goldfish sits directly in front of Day’s reflection. To me it feels like a memory, a ghost, or a projection, and we know by the end of Episode 2, (if we haven’t picked up on it already from the title sequence or how heavily goldfish imagery has features in the promotional material for this show) that the goldfish is a stand in for Day himself.

So I love the fact that we get this wisp of an image of Day’s face in the tank, like he’s trapped inside of it. Because we know that in a way he is. And the other thing I love about this, or rather about the fact that this goldfish is meant to symbolize Day himself, is that watching this goldfish is what brings Day the most joy at the moment.

I love that because it shows me that there is hope and joy still left in Day, if he can just take the time to look at himself a little differently.

OKAY it’s time for the Big Boys.

Our first instance of an actual reflection off a mirror in Episode 2 happens when Mhok is trying to check in with Day after Day runs away from Night’s friends. Mhok has said that he understands Day, and Day Does Not Like That™.

Day’s response to Mhok’s monologue is to say that Mhok has no idea what it is like to look in the mirror and not see your old self. And of course, we see Day’s reflection in his full body mirror. Now, again, Aof is being pretty heavy handed with his metaphors here. But that doesn’t mean I don’t absolutely love the double meaning of these words. Day is going blind so he literally can’t see himself in the mirror anymore.

But also, Day is deep in his grief for the things he has lost. His freedom, his career, his confidence that I think he has morphed in to a completely different person. One who is bitter, and self-conscious, and more comfortable hiding away where he can wallow in misery over his condition and not have to confront the new world he is living in. Day is running from connection, I mean not a minute before this scene Day legitimately ran away from Night’s friends rather than have to explain his blindness.

The scene continues, and Day shuts himself off even further from the world around him, by putting in his headphones. Now he can drown out Mhok’s attempts to comfort him, but in the long run what is that going to do? As @shortpplfedup said to me earlier “the set dressers did not come to play” when it came to designing Day’s room. When the curtains aren’t drawn there is so much natural light in Day’s room. His walls are bright and colorful, there are photos and awards all over the place. Day’s room has so much personality in it, so much life within it. But the mirror shows nothing. It shows Day alone, surrounded by blank walls in grayscale.

The costume designer made an excellent choice of shirt for this scene, by the way. Because the yellow blends in enough with the wall in Day’s room, that (especially) when coupled with the camera’s focus in this scene. The real Day almost fades in to the background, and your eye is naturally drawn to this spot of yellow in the mirror.

The mirror highlights his isolation while at the same time showing the audience how much Day can and does stand out.

AND it parallels the reflection of Mhok in Episode 1 so well, not just in the emotions that we see from Mhok and Day, but in the sense that Mhok’s reflection is in Rung’s car because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about his sister, rather than processing his grief. While Day’s reflection is in his room because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about himself, rather than giving himself enough compassion to start moving forward.

When Day does not respond to Mhok’s conversation, Mhok is triggered at the thought of his sister’s death and he breaks down the door to make sure Day is okay, and gets fired for it. Mhok does not argue, he does not put up a fight, he does not try to explain, he just honors Day’s request and gets the fuck out. And I love the way that Mhok is already starting to change Day’s outlook. Because we see how mopey Day is after Mhok leaves, and how much hope there is in him when Night tells him there is someone at the door who wants to see him and he so obviously thinks it’s Mhok.

Mhok gives him the gift of the fish slippers, and Day goes to visit Mhok at the market, only to find out that Mhok has spent time reflecting on what Day told him about not understanding him, and making a fool out of himself in the eyes of the other market patrons by blindfolding himself.

Mhok is doing what no one else has really done and is making a concerted effort to truly understand where Day is coming from, the fears that he is carrying, and the challenges he faces as a blind man.

But of course, we know by now that while there are definitely things Mhok is had not or might never understand about the physical realities of Day’s life, he can understand loneliness, and he can understand rage, pain, and anger. There are parts of himself that have grown within him over the past year that recognizes parts of Day that have grown within him over the past year.

And we have already been seeing the impact of Mhok on Day’s life, in the fact that Day has smiled more, Day has left his room, Day has eaten at the table, and agreed to watch a movie. And that singular day where Day did not wallow in his own misery, but left his room, went out in the sun, etc stuck with him because he is in the living room watching a movie the day Phorjai comes to visit.

Culminating in the second real reflection of Episode 2, where Mhok, via the side mirror, sees Day smiling on the back of his scooter. And what I love about this moment is that the focus is entirely on Day. I don’t want Last Twilight to strip Day’s healing processes from him and give them to Mhok. I think it is totally fine for Mhok to contribute to Day’s increasing happiness, but ultimately I want Day to have enough autonomy in this narrative that these decisions that lead to him enjoying his life again are primarily comprised of Day’s own choices. And I think that we can get something visually from that by the fact that we don’t see a lot of Mhok in this reflection, only one small portion of his chin.

Day made the choice to have Phorjai take him to see Mhok, Day made the choice to rehire Mhok, and Day is the one having a moment on the back of this scooter just reveling in the feeling of the wind on his face. I love that this reflection shows just enough of Mhok to show that Day is not alone, while still putting all of the attention in the reflection on to Day and the joy he is feeling.

The idea that Day is no longer alone is reinforced after Mhok makes a pit stop to purchase a companion for the goldfish in Day’s room. And again we get in to some of my favorite instances of reflection in Last Twilight, where we place the boys’ reflections in the fish tank.

And this is where the images from the intro sequence come from. Day looking at Day Noi and Big Mhok interacting with each other in the tank. Here we still have Day alone in the reflection, with the goldfish tying him to this symbolism. But Day’s reflection is so much clearer now that the tank has been cleaned. Now Day’s reflection in the water tank is far more obvious, and hey, since it’s me, I’ll overanalyze this moment to say that as Day has gotten to know Mhok a bit and has started venturing outside of his room more, that Day is getting a clearer vision of himself as a person. Regardless, we as the audience can see Day’s reflection in the tank all the more clearly and that reflection is vibrant and bright, because Day is becoming more vibrant and bright.

“No More Loneliness Little Day” Mhok says and we get MY FAVORITE SHOT OF THE SHOW THUS FAR

The split screen. It’s not even a reflection, but I am talking about it here, because I think the absence of reflection is just as important as its presence, and I love that we have this moment where half of Day’s face is crystal clear and the other half is completely obscured. There is no trace of it. Considering how much Aof has been turning the camera on Day’s vision, we aren’t that far off of what Day sees in this shot. I like that this image has Day straddling these two worlds.

And we get the final reflection of Episode 2, Mhok’s face in the fish tank.

Again, I don’t even know that this is really intentional or it is just the way the reflection happened to have occurred, but I love the fact that not all of Mhok’s face is present within the fish tank. I like that Mhok is slowly encroaching on Day’s space, that Mhok is slowly starting to appear in the parts of Day’s life that Day actually cares about. Mhok is lonely and Day is lonely, and they have finally found someone they might be able to connect to. Big Mhok is there for Day Noi and Mhok is there for Day.

I love that while the fish themselves are able to cross those barriers and that we get to see the fish swimming up and next to each other, that we have yet to see Mhok and Day’s reflections fully together. Even here, Mhok’s reflection in the fish tank is alone, just like Day’s reflection in the fish tank was alone. But they are in the same place, they are in the same room, they are in the same tank, they are in the same stage of their grief (anger) and there is no way in hell we don’t get one or more reflections in the mirror or in the fish tank by the end of this show where Mhok and Day are both fully present.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #last twilight analysis #jimmysea #mhokday #mhok x day #aof noppharnach #gmmtv #thai bl

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kazcreates · 25 days

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Kaz Brekker Character Analysis

As a member of an AuDHD OSDD system, it was only a matter of time before I wrote a paper on my own personal headcanons. A research paper. I wrote this at the same time as my Junior Research Paper last year, and it actually ended up being longer than my JRP. Anyhow, here it is: my in-depth character analysis of Kaz Brekker and my personal headcanons for him, as supported with “evidence” from the Six of Crows novel.

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drdemonprince · 10 months

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wellllll my following on here has gotten large enough that i now receive the kinds of divorced-from-any-political-awareness messages and comments that provoked me to lock down my insta. it is actively bad for myself and the world to platform that kinda shit.

somebody's gotta be patient and explain introductory concepts to large masses of people but i know its not my calling. i get too impatient. we all have our skills and thank god the whole world isnt filled with people like me.

this app is where i come to have in depth, non introductory discussions about anarchism, queer theory, neurodiversity, abolitionism, systemic analysis of oppression, etc for my own enjoyment and others'. and to get future article suggestions and to shitpost. none of this is advocacy, posting is not ever activism no matter who stands to make a profit by convincing you it is, and i dont want to lead anyone, i want you to read and think about things for yourself. if you want more introductory level talk itll be on instagram, medium, and in my books.

keep the genuine questions and autistic advice article suggestions coming! i will answer things that i want to, but deleting all the stuff that sounds like its coming out of an instagram comment section for a loosely social justice branded influencer

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jeannereames · 5 days

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And Alexander Wept for Hephaistion....

If you don’t mind, I wanted to ask, you said something along the lines of: by the time Alexander was coming closer to his death, he had recovered from the grief of Hephaistion’s death (if I’m remembering this correctly; I’m so sorry I have a fuzzy memory) how long do you think he mourned Hephaistion?

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This was an ask via message, so putting it here to reply publicly, as it may be of interest to others.

First, however, I want to mention a pair of articles I wrote many years ago now, but which are still valid:

“The Mourning of Alexander the Great,” Syllecta Classica 12 (2001), 98-145.

“Some New Thoughts on the Death of Alexander the Great,” with Eugene N. Borza (lead author), The Ancient World 31.1 (2000), 1-9. (I wrote the last 1/3 of it.)

The first, in particular, is an in-depth analysis of Alexander’s behavior after Hephaistion died. I’m still rather proud of it, as it brings together two quite diverse fields: bereavement + Alexander studies. If I had a critique for it now, it’s that I didn’t analyze the stories inherent in the primary sources, but that also wasn’t my intention in writing it. I specifically say that I do not plan to pick apart which reports of Alexander’s behavior are likely authentic and which aren’t. My goal was to evaluate all of them in terms of possible evidence of pathological bereavement, according to the (then) DSM III-R (et al.).

TL;DR version of the article: Alexander’s mourning was NORMAL and followed recognized patterns, if one allows for the loss of someone extremely close, a spouse/similar.

Yes, there were complicating factors. BUT he did not go crazy with grief.

Unfortunately, this article is far less known than the “An Atypical Affair” article on Alexander and Hephaistion’s relationship. That’s too bad, as the “His grieving was extreme!” persists among even some of my colleagues, never mind those outside the field of Macedoniasts. (It’s also admittedly possible that they were simply unconvinced by my arguments, but in that case, one usually cites and says so.)

If I could put a giant blinking neon light on one of my earlier articles to get it more attention, that would be the one I’d point to.

The second article—or my 1/3rd of it anyway—deals with the possible effects of deep mourning on the immune system of adult males of Alexander’s age group. Yes, according to some limited research, it does have an impact that increases susceptibility to infectious disease. Add his poor overall physical health after all those battles (and Macedonian-style symposial drinking), and he was just too spent to fight off the typhoid or malaria or whatever fever disease got him.

Ergo, he died roughly 8 months after Hephaistion. We don’t have a date for the latter’s death, but sometime in October or November of 324 BCE is the window. Alexander died June 10th, 323 … or possibly a day or so later if he were in a paralysis too deep for his breathing to be ascertained. (As per Gene’s part of the article.)

The dating is important, as it affects where he (probably) was in his mourning process.

Mourning follows a somewhat predictable pattern, and one of the biggest mistakes made by those unfamiliar with human mourning is to underestimate (often by a lot) just how long mourning takes … even perfectly normal, healthy mourning.

For a major loss, main mourning takes up to a year. No joke. That’s why bereavement counselors try to keep the bereaved from making any permanent decisions within that year. They’re still very much being buffeted by the winds of grief, even if they want to pretend they aren’t. But even after the year anniversary—and marking it with some sort of formal ceremony helps!*—mourning continues off-and-on (sometimes really intense for a few hours or even a few days) for up to 5 years. Again, no joke. Some bereavement studies experts don’t really consider a person truly recovered (note I never say “over it”) for as long as 10 years.

Additionally, ANY deep loss triggers mourning; it doesn’t have to be death. A divorce will result in mourning, even if the people in the marriage wanted to divorce. It’s still a “death” of sorts. Moving some distance away, graduation, and retirement can all set off mourning. This surprises people, that mourning can attach even to “happy” circumstances. Anything that includes an ending will set off mourning, albeit it may not be that intense.

But THE #1 and #2 most devastating losses are the loss of a child and the loss of a spouse/spouse-like figure. Period.

So, a slight correction to the question, I didn’t say he’d recovered from his mourning, but that he was beginning to emerge from the deepest parts of mourning.

What do I mean by that? There are (roughly) 3(-4) major phases of mourning. The speed at which we pass through these varies, dependent on the type of death and our closeness to the deceased. (The first article goes into that in more depth.)

Shock phase, which is typically anywhere from a few days to about 2 weeks.

Deep mourning phase, where the bereaved must come to terms with the loss. The bereaved cycles through a series of stages (not the best term) and, more importantly, struggles with certain TASKS of mourning (as per Worden). Again, the length of this phase can vary, but for serious losses, it can take up to 8-9 months, with the worst of it usually hitting 3-6 months. There is an intense focus on the deceased and the bereaved person may want little to do with new people and vacillate between wanting to talk a lot about the deceased or wanting to give away all their stuff because it’s too painful. Anger, bargaining, depression, self-blame … all are typical of this phase. It’s INTENSE. It really does take months, and people routinely underestimate it.

Re-emergent phase, where the bereaved begins to take an interest again in the external world, may make new friends and new plans that don’t involve the deceased. The deceased is far, far from forgotten, but the bereaved is learning to live without the dead person.

Continued bereavement would be a fourth phase past the one-year anniversary, where the bereaved will still experience grief, sometimes very intense when triggered by a particular memory, a birthday, or anniversaries. But the overall “worst” part of mourning is past.

Finally, especially in the deepest part of mourning, the depression felt by the bereaved is on par with clinical depression, but (except for rare cases) the bereaved absolutely should not take or be prescribed antidepressants as these interrupt the mourning process.

Yes, it hurts like hell but one can only go through, not over, around, or under. Through.

In some cases, however, bereavement becomes “complicated,” resulting in what’s referred to as pathological bereavement, by which I mean only not normal (I wouldn’t even say abnormal). Sudden death (as with Hephaistion) IS one factor that can complicate mourning, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to full-blown pathological grief. In the article, I evaluate all Alexander’s listed behaviors and explain why my final conclusion is that his bereavement was sharp, but not pathological.

Alexander’s behavior in the last few months showed aspects of the third phase. He was planning (or probably returning to planning) his next campaign and thinking about improvements to the city of Babylon apparently with the intention of making it his eastern capital. Yes, he was also planning Hephaistion’s funeral, but the other two things were new and show re-engagement.

So Alexander’s mourning had not ended before he died himself, only shifted. Even if he’d lived another 5 years, he’d still have experienced bereavement off and on.

Remember, grieving takes TIME. More time than you expect.

If you know someone going through grief, especially for a family member, beloved, or very close friend … give them space. Let them cry. Encourage them to talk about the lost person if they want to, but don’t force it if they don’t want to. Don’t argue with their theology/beliefs about death or their gallows humor, but also don’t shove your theology/beliefs about death, or your gallows humor, onto them. Read the room.

MOST OF ALL, JUST BE PRESENT. It matters less what you say than that you’re there. They may not even remember what you say later; they will remember you showed up.

—————-

* In fact, world cultures that have traditional, one-year anniversary ceremonies routinely show better outcomes for mourning individuals.

#asks #Alexander the Great #Hephaistion #Hephaestion #death of Hephaistion #death of Hephaestion #Mourning of Alexander the Great #bereavement #mourning #tasks of mourning #stages of grief #Alexander the Great's grief #alexander x hephaestion #alexander x hephaistion

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zkylearnstherope · 5 months

Text

AvPhysics - An Analysis [Part 1]

[Part 1] - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Disclaimer: This will only be a surface-level analysis for Animation vs. Physics. If you expect something more in-depth, you have to wait for the physicists.

Let's get into it- shall we?

Obviously, TSC spawns from the e✖iT Euler's Identity made in the end of AvMath. For the sake of this analysis, let's call this one, TSC_0.

One minute upon arrival, TSC_0 didn't have any personal goal/objective, so he was just running around. This also demonstrates the accuracy of the UI Formula Thing (UFT) that shows up on the screen.

That is, until he found this ball, and then the others after it. Which we eventually realize, all came from The Singularity. Something or someone is trying to get his attention. He needs to reach the Singularity.

The first thing he realizes is, "Dang, this is gonna take a while".

Also, space is dark because there is no sun- specifically, no solar system.

Okay, new goal. We need to get faster. But how?

Side Note: Animation vs. Frequency? Animation vs. Color Theory? Animation vs. Sound Waves?

A Solar System (with its own star/sun) spawns in. He did not reach it, it spawned in. It literally did NOT exist prior to the flashlight.

He utilizes the space maneuver called the Gravity Assist. Also called the Slingshot Effect. It's where you use a planet's gravity, by moving around it (but not entering it) to gain significant speed.

Most sci-fi stories use this maneuver to save on propulsion and to change/correct the course of the spacecraft.

UFT shows that he got faster now, but it's still not enough.

So he does it again with two faster-orbiting planets. Gaining more speed in the process.

He was supposed to make impact with the sun here, although I'm not sure why he didn't. It's probably because a sun along with its own solar system moves through the galaxy. They don't stay in one place.

For example: Our Solar System orbits the Milky Way Galaxy for about 230 million years, which is also called a cosmic year.

And by moving around the sun but NOT hitting it, gave him even more speed.

Here's his speed upon exiting the solar system.

He eventually reached 1% of the speed of light. Yep, that whole almost-dying-in-the-sun process, is still not enough to get anywhere.

Magnets spawns in. Again, they did NOT exist prior to this.

"Hmm... we can use this," he says.

Step 1: Let's magnetize the crap out of this rocket.

Step 2: Enter the magnet gates.

Step 3: We get a magnetic linear accelerator, which utilizes the opposing magnetic fields to propel/launch objects at high speeds. Initially thought this was a particle accelerator, but turns out that's a whole different thing.

And now we reached 80% of the speed of light.

If you're still following me... good news, we have reached half of the video.

Cool graphics, 'cause why not.

Around this point, TSC_0 experiences Time Dilation. This is important for later.

This is because he has now left the galaxy.

More sci-fi stuff. Everything starts to look more red.

Red-looking black hole.

Something hits him on the head. How is this possible?

Oh no, my apple. Take note, that the apple glows red whenever gravity is messing with it.

Goodbye world, my apple needs me.

Aww... Turns out there is a photo limit per post.

Here's [Part 2].

#alan becker #animation vs physics #animator vs animation

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remus-poopin · 2 years

Text

HP META MASTERLISTS

Hey! Here is a huge master list of all my favorite Harry Potter character analyses and Metas!

I DID NOT write these! Please do yourself a favor and check out some of the wonderful and intelligent writers of these metas as they deserve all the praise for their hard and impressive work!

If anyone of the writers for whatever reason wants me to remove their meta from this list just tell me and it will be done!

Some of these may be contradictory to each other but that is because I like to hear other interpretations. These may not line up exactly with your view of the characters (not all of them line up with mine) but please try to be respectful.

*Almost all of these are from Tumblr except one from reddit and one from a outside blog.

Enjoy!

REMUS LUPIN META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Gentleman Monster: How Remus’s Marginalization and Comparative Privilege Made Who He Is

The Marauders Map scene in POA: Verbal Fencing Between Snape and Lupin

Prisoner of Azkaban: When Hostility Meets Passive Aggression

Remus Lupin: in depth analysis

“And I haven’t changed...”

Lupin as a manipulator

Remus would rather categorize himself with his oppressor than validate his own experiences.

Harry, Snape and Lupin: morality and “the greater good”

Lupin and his failure to think ahead - the boggart scene

Remus Lupin: ENFJ

Remus lupin: Repentance vs Regret

Lupin and Language

Remus And His Use of Language + Sirius' Dark Humor

Lupin and his use of pauses and “ers”

Lupin and language - “glimpse”

Neither Likes Not Dislikes Severus…

Lupin appreciation: How he speaks

Debunking Fanon:

Fanon vs. Canon: Remus Lupin Edition (reddit)

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Harry and Remus’ dynamic

Snape and Lupin parallels

The Great Pretenders: Remus and Regulus

Nearly Always Right: Remus and Harry

Remus and what his friendships represent

Power game that goes on between Lupin and Snape in POA

Lovable Except for that Terrible Period: The Upbringing of Remus Lupin

Theories and headcanons:

Remus’ “unmistakable signs of trying to live among wizards”

Remus did a lot of “growing up” during the lost years

If Lupin and Tonks had survived the battle?

Miscellaneous:

Lupin isn't the middle ground in Mrs Weasley vs Sirius argument

Remus with his own special brand of comforting logic

Lupin and how he presents in front of others

Remus Lupin is so detached from things

Remus Lupin at his most dangerous

Lupin lying to himself and others

Lupin is a gold standard for for the male manipulator trope

Bonus thoughts on werewolves as sexual predators, and Lupins' response to this.

SIRIUS BLACK META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Part one: Sirius and the shadow of being a Black.

Part two: Sirius Black: the victim of the system he was born to rule

Grimmauld Place: Azkaban by a different name

Sirius Black and Complex trauma

Sirius's core need for family

Sirius's views on Death-Eaters: The world isn't split into good people and Death-eaters.

Padfoot and the Liminal Space

Arrested Development – Sirius, Snape, Obsessions and Blind Spots

Sirius Black, Mental Health and Masculinity

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Debunking Fanon:

Sirius is not as explosive as he is often characterized.

Sirius was not an immature man -child

Sirius is both emotionally and academically intelligent

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Someone Like A Parent: The Beginning of Bond in POA

Padfoot and Prongs: an analysis of the friendship

Why Sirius hated Snape so much

Sirius and Walburga: the passive-aggressive Sticking Charm

Sirius and Walburga's similarities

Regulus and Sirius's relationship

Sirius and Lily

Sirius and Orion Black

Sirius and Regulus’s relationship is Kreacher

Snape parallels:

The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince’s Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

Sirius and Snape as foils

Sirius and Snape both want to be part of a world that they will never truly understand.

Snape, Sirius, and revenge

Sirius and Snape parallels: rule breaking

More Snape and Sirius parallels

Sirius/Snape parallels - Gender coding

Miscellaneous:

Sirius’ sense of humor

Shame of My Flesh: Reading into Sirius’ Thoughts on Crouch Family

Sirius and Molly Argument in OOTP

James, Sirius and Snape: privilege and intelligence

JAMES POTTER META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Ashes’ thoughts on James

“the marauders’ is essentially just three people wanting to be James’ best friend but only one of them actually achieving it”

Too Deep for the Healing

Debunking Fanon:

“golden retriever” James Potter

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

James and Sirius had the best friendship in the story

Mine!: James Potter and Regulus Black

James Didn’t Suspect Remus - First War edition

James/Sirius

Theories and headcanons:

How does growing up with elderly parents affect James’s personality?

Miscellaneous:

James inner sense of nobility prevents him from killing

PETER PETTIGREW META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Peter Pettigrew is emotionally intelligent and uses it in a strategic manner.

Peter is a Beautiful Scum Bag

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Where is the Loyalty? Regulus and Peter

Peter and Remus

Theories and headcanons:

Peter Pettigrew and the Werewolf Incident (Not as Much of a Key Event for Him)

MARAUDER META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Reading Marauders Dynamics in SWM

An Analysis of the Snape’s Worst Memory Pensieve scene

SWM occurring after The Prank is neither a plot hole nor inconsistent

The rifts that made it possible for the Marauders to fall apart were evident even as far back as Hogwarts.

Fallout of the “prank”

Debunking Fanon:

J/S vs F/G: different types of troublemakers

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

The marauders individual relationships

Remus with Sirius and James?

Lupin within the marauder dynamic

Miscellaneous:

The marauders recklessness

LILY EVANS META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Lily and Altruism

Lily and insecurity

Slughorn’s favorite student

Lily’s weakness is her fondness for being the exception

Debunking Fanon:

Lily’s cold anger

“Friendzoned”

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Lily as a friend

Interpretation of Lily’s blush

Lily Evans’ letter to Sirius Black

Lily Evans is attracted to James Potter in Snape's Worst Memory.

Lily intended to break off her friendship with Severus before SWM

Harry’s relationship to the Prince as a blueprint for Lily’s friendship with Snape

Lily’s feelings for Snape are more complex than fandom gives them credit for.

Lily and her friendships

Lily never hated Petunia

What’s Up with Petunia’s Resentment of Lily?

Theories and headcanons:

Mulciber, Mary Macdonald and why Lily almost smiled in Snape’s Worst Memory

Miscellaneous:

Lily is blind to the flaws of people she admires/loves unless it explodes in her face.

SEVERUS SNAPE META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Snape and the importance of his memories

Snape and Class

How Dumbledore’s death speaks to Snape’s moral evolution

Snape: class and power

Two up, two down

Spinner's End (white hound)

Why does Spinners End matter?

Snape, Lupin and the trolley problem

a matter of perspective

Snape and wizarding privilege?

Snape as a guardian

Debunking Fanon:

“Rivalries”

James and Snape were rivals? Nah.

Snape was not upset over the lost of the order of merlin

Snape doesn't want revenge

Snape and textbooks

Obsession or Love?

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Lily and Sev

“Lily Potter’s Son”

Feminist reading of lily/James/snape

Snape and lily’s shared spirit

The extremely dysfunctional friendship of Snape and Lily

Dumbledore, Snape and the werewolf incident.

Snape was his own man

Snape and Lupin

Theories and headcanons:

Snape and the Order confrontation of the Dursley's

Snape and the prince nickname

Miscellaneous:

“Said Snape”

Snape as a “bad victim”

Snape, tropes, and classic English literature

On Rage and Kindness

Snape’s use of language

Severus Snape or the Importance of Body Language

Snape being female coded

Snape had to practice being a person

Snape and queer coding

Snape loving the “goodness in lily”

Snape was really traumatized by SWM

HERMIONE GRANGER META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Reconciling Kindness and Callousness: A Discussion on Hermione and Emotions

A Discussion on Hermione and Leadership

Hermione was born a leader and diplomat

Hermione “character growth” with SPEW

Debunking Fanon:

Hermione IS soft

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins: A Closer Look into Hermione’s Modification of Her Parents’ Memories

Harry and Hermione understand each other

Harry is in awe of Hermione

Ron/Hermione

Theories and headcanons:

Hermione wouldn't like fiction

Miscellaneous:

Cool Hermione Things: Magic Under Pressure

Hermione and internalized misogyny

Hermione can be very ruthless

Book Hermione

On Grandness: A Hermione Granger Appreciation Post

HARRY JAMES POTTER META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Deconstructing Harry: The boy we meet in Philosopher’s Stone to the man in Deathly Hallows

The Resurrection Stone Scene: Culmination Of Harry’s Emotional Arc

The Dementors and Harry's Complex grief

Harry’s inherent tendency towards fairness

Harry, Hermione and the prince

'Be brave like my mother, Professor'

The Lightning-Struck Tower: “It is My Mercy, Not Yours That Matters Now”

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Harry And Personal Conflict: A Meta On Evolving Dynamic With Ron and Hermione

Harry identified with and reluctantly admired Snape even before ‘The Prince’s Tale’

Harry and Hermione in The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

Harry and The Dursleys: Examining His Response to his Abusers

Harry-Hermione Friendship

On Harry and the adults in his life

The Mirthless Laugh: Sirius and Harry

Harry and Tom: Parents, Love and Death

A Cold Blooded Walk to Destruction: The Deaths of Harry and Dumbledore

Harry and the Dursleys: (Companion Piece to Deconstructing Harry)

Miscellaneous:

Harry's intuitive, empathy related approach to morality

Harry and intellectual curiosity

The Potters and class

Harry and masculinity

Harry’s quirks

RON WEASLEY META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

I Have Seen Your Heart: Exploring Ron's arc through the Mirror of Erised and the Locket

Ron isn't a strategist, he's the heart

Debunking Fanon:

Ron’s humor and emotional intelligence

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Harry and Ron’s friendship

Miscellaneous:

Ron and the Horcrux: An Alternate Reading

GOLDEN TRIO META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Gender Dynamics in the Trio, Part One: Gender and Subordination

Debunking Fanon:

Hermione and Ron don't blindly trust harry

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Harry and Hermione: Balancing Acts, Effort, and Compromise

GINNY WEASLEY META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

“Lucky you”

On the veil

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Does gender plays a role in Harry and Ginny’s respective interactions with Voldemort?

Ginny and dean

Ginny and Neville during DH

Did the Weasley’s know about Harry and Ginny?

Ginny, the diary, and her family’s reaction

Ginny and Luna's Relationship

Harry’s thoughts of Ginny in the Forest

Harry and Ginny's shared experience of going to their deaths

Harry and Ginny at Shell Cottage

Miscellaneous:

Ginny and writing failures

Ginny is a chad

WEASLEY META:

General analysis/meta/thoughts:

Weasley siblings reacting to the expectations put upon them

Percy Weasley and the Gryffindor narrative

Percy fell through a big crack

Debunking Fanon:

Percy actually wasn’t Molly’s favorite

Relationships/dynamics/parallels:

Weasley Family Dynamics as a quidditch team

Percy with F&G and Bill

Percy, Fred, and George

Ginny and Molly

The relationship between Percy & Arthur

Percy and Arthur were close without actually knowing each other's true selves

Miscellaneous:

The Weasleys Aren’t Evil, Or Anything, But They’re Not Saints Either

OTHER CHARACTERS META

Dumbledore:

Dumbledore as a Mentor

Dumbledore and Reflections of Himself

Albus Dumbledore is not only respected and feared, but also loved

Albus Dumbledore Has Done Great, Generous, Things for People (Though He Also Uses These People as Pawns Later)

The Blacks:

Walburga Black: the madwoman in the attic

General Thoughts on the Black Family

Bellatrix: Mental health and the feminist lens

The Black family and pureblood ideology

The Blacks are a family in decline

Regulus: unrepentant bigot

The Blacks family system is abusive

The Malfoys:

Draco & Blaise: frenemies, not friends

“This is Crabbe and this is Goyle”: friends on last name basis?

“all draco wanted was to be loved” debunked

“Said Malfoy”

Draco and Lucius are the magical equivalent of Dudley and Vernon?

Tom Riddle:

The Abandoned Boy And His Problematic Fathers: Snape with Voldemort & Dumbledore

Neville:

Trevor and Neville’s Boggart

Neville’s Boggart

The Dursleys:

Petunia: “it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”

Pansy:

Pansy, the girly mean girl

WORLD BUILDING

Wizarding World Magic:

HP magic system

What the Patronus charm represents

The Importance of Soul in HP verse

Wizarding World Politics:

Wizarding UK and democracy

Wizarding World Culture:

Chamber of Secrets- an insight into intersecting identities.

Why the Wizarding World Didn’t Oppose Voldemort

House Elves Are Slaves

The Wizarding World and Its Profound Ignorance of Muggles

A History of Magic Brought to You By The Carnivorous Muffin

The Wizarding World Lacks a Key Understanding of Magic

Hogwarts:

Hogwarts School Uniform

Hogwarts Houses by Muffin

How Old is the Bias Against Slytherin?

No, Really, the Hogwarts Houses Are Awful

Misc.

The Order of the Phoenix is a Useless Joke

Wandlore: Remus, Slughorn, and Lily

MISC. META

Harry Potter as a colonial fantasy

Death as one of HP’s themes

The “not like other girls” syndrome in the Harry Potter books.

HP series being ‘ethically mean spirited’

Marauders era and the 70s aesthetic?

JKR and chirstianity

Harry potter series and how american readers can understand classism a little better

Slytherin and Eton: A Primer on the British School System.

JKR’s absolutist way of seeing the world: gryffindor and slytherin

Hogwarts teachers and our modern muggle lens

Questioning the marauders map and the narrative surrounding it

Interesting debates/conversations/thought experiments/ideas:

If Harry had told Ron and Hermione about Snape's Worst Memory?

Bellatrix and feminism?

Snape and Stalking?

Best DADA teacher?

554 notes · View notes

ineffable-gallimaufry · 20 days

Text

in depth analysis of why i didn't like les misérables (1998) under cut. because. i have actually coherent thoughts tbh but also. well it's a lot

section one: a thing that people didn't like (maybe) that i liked but it also leads into an actual issue i had

so, little lead in to this! so you know where valjean is stealing the silverware? happens every time? and then how they switched it up so the bishop walks in and then valjean fucking punches him in the face for no reason? yeah. so i don't have a problem with that. controversial take but yeah. lemme get into that... with... how jean valjean is introduced in the book!

so, there's three scenes we see of jean valjean before we go into his madeline era which show two sides of him namely that he is both a man made cruel by the prison system and a man rejected by society. what we get of jean valjean in the scene where he steals the silver is a first glimpse of the violence and desperation he is living in. mostly we see it in the scene with petit gervais but i digress. my point is, jean valjean in this part of the book is NOT the same as he is when we next see him in m-sur-m. so, what he can be is desperate. when he punches the bishop, that is because he is desperate to steal the silver so he can survive. that makes sense. also, it makes the bishop even better since he's willing to forgive jean valjean even AFTER that.

so. that's not the problem though. the problem is, this is jean valjean from the past! looping back around to petit gervais, this is where he actually gets better. when he meets the bishop, that's when he gets the means to get where he gets, and he is able to have someone believe he can be better. after petit gervais, jean valjean realizes he fucked up! he sees himself as a monster! and then THAT'S where he commits to bettering himself. (pleaseee adapt petit gervais into more things pretty please) but where '98 fucks up is that they don't have valjean grow! he doesn't get better! he's still the same guy! what the hell! he was supposed to improve and grow! and because he doesn't do that, this leads to quite a few problems later on. but that's other points.

section two: the police shit. aka beauvais

you betcha i have a problem with a random character who's name i couldn't even remember!! captain beauvais, in case you forgot, is the captain in m-sur-m and he's more sympathetic to jvj, he lets himself get knocked out after fantine dies (i will get back to the scene i promise) he's not in the book! and he's one of my biggest problems, that being how this movie handles the idea of the police!

here's how the book sees it. javert is a character who is clearly not in the right, but it is made explicitly clear that is BECAUSE he is doing his job. now i don't know if that's what victor hugo intended but the way i've been reading it is that javert is a good cop which makes him a bad person, or rephrased, it's because he is a cog in a fundamentally abusive system that he's our antagonist, not because he's uniquely malicious

in fact, this is basically stated outright in the chapter "Javert Satisfied", through the quotes "Javert, though frightful, had nothing ignoble about him," and "Without himself suspecting the fact, Javert in his formidable happiness was to be pitied, as is every ignorant man who triumphs," we see here that javert is not supposed to be malicious! what he is, evidently, is ignorant!! and where does he get that ignorance?

"Javert had been born in prison, of a fortune-teller, whose husband was in the galleys. As he grew up, he thought that he was outside the pale of society, and he despaired of ever re-entering it. He observed that society unpardoningly excludes two classes of men,—those who attack it and those who guard it; he had no choice except between these two classes; at the same time, he was conscious of an indescribable foundation of rigidity, regularity, and probity, complicated with an inexpressible hatred for the race of bohemians whence he was sprung. He entered the police; he succeeded there."

read that quote again! he was born in a prison (and yes i will get into the prison shit) and that's where the problem is. this upbringing leads him to believe that his only redemption is through policing, leading him to not question the methods and stuff! javert isn't good BUT the reason he isn't good is explicitly connected to the way the police system is broken!

and that leads us to ... captain beauvais! or rather what he represents, the idea that the system isn't the problem, javert is! this movie goes out of its way to portray javert as being particularly bad, something that goes counter to the fact that he is supposed to be an example of how no matter how noble someone believes themselves to be, policing is a fundamentally broken system that merely suppresses those seen as outside the pale of society, rather than treating people as people! the point is that javert is a part of the very same system that threw jean valjean in jail for stealing when he was hungry!

remember how victor hugo said, "So long as there shall exist, by virtue of law and custom, decrees of damnation pronounced by society, artificially creating hells amid the civilization of earth, and adding the element of human fate to divine destiny; so long as the three great problems of the century—the degradation of man through pauperism, the corruption of woman through hunger, the crippling of children through lack of light—are unsolved; so long as social asphyxia is possible in any part of the world;—in other words, and with a still wider significance, so long as ignorance and poverty exist on earth, books of the nature of Les Misérables cannot fail to be of use. "??? remember that???

javert is made out as particularly bad in '98! when they're chasing valjean, he is the one that specifically pushes them so hard the cart crashes! and beauvais is the main problem here because they insert him in as a sympathetic character from the police to juxtapose against javert, making it so that there's no longer an angle that is critical of the systems that are the problem! aka, the whole fucking point!! arghhhh!!!

section three: why tf did jvj beat up javert???

see. okay. while i do think javert deserved it for being a super extra huge asshole in this. and i think he was probably into it, that's not my point. it's not about javert!! it's about jean valjean. let's look at the book again.

so, this is in "authority reasserts its rights" btw. fantine dies, jean valjean threatens javert, talks to fantine and says ... well they don't say, but he gets his closure. and then what he does is, he turns to javert and he says "Now, I am at your disposal." he notably does NOT beat him up. he submits himself to the law! and that's really interesting! because that has implications!

see, because this isn't just a one time thing! jean valjean tries to break out of jail four times and this turns his five years into nineteen, the nineteen years that break him. when he is offered the opportunity to sleep in a bed, all he can remember is how he hasn't slept in a bed for NINETEEN YEARS! this greatly impacts his character going on and they aren't acknowledging it! when he escapes the first time, it's said that, "He wandered for two days in the fields at liberty, if being at liberty is to be hunted, to turn the head every instant, to quake at the slightest noise, to be afraid of everything," and then, when he is put at liberty finally, he is still afraid of conflict on the same level! victor hugo specifically says "Jean Valjean had entered the galleys sobbing and shuddering; he emerged impassive. He had entered in despair; he emerged gloomy." see, he emerges prison with two options, his violent impulses and the passive acceptance of what happens to him, BOTH bad! but as we see in part one, this violence is something that he grows out of! and this leaves one last maladaptive problem, his avoidant tendencies! this is what his response is, avoiding that violence and submitting to authority!

and that's our problem from part one again. he hasn't grown. if jean valjean, at this point, reacts with violence, he hasn't grown! like, and we can see this tendency again and again! when jvj sees the chain gang in... well, "the chain gang" they say, "Jean Valjean’s eyes had assumed a frightful expression. They were no longer eyes; they were those deep and glassy objects which replace the glance in the case of certain wretched men, which seem unconscious of reality, and in which flames the reflection of terrors and of catastrophes. He was not looking at a spectacle, he was seeing a vision. He tried to rise, to flee, to make his escape; he could not move his feet." he is trying to run! when he is confronted with the horror of his past, he wants to run instead of confronting the problem head on! when javert shows up after jvj and cosette arrive in paris, when jean valjean sees javert, it is said, "He recoiled, terrified, petrified, daring neither to breathe, to speak, to remain, nor to flee, staring at the beggar who had dropped his head, which was enveloped in a rag, and no longer appeared to know that he was there," and even when he has javert completely at his mercy, he says, "I do not think that I shall escape from this place. But if, by chance, I do, I live, under the name of Fauchelevent, in the Rue de l’Homme Armé, No. 7."

what does this all mean? jean valjean WOULD NOT beat up javert. that's just a complete failure to understand that during and after his madeline era, he is non-confrontational! i mean, when i said avoidant, that was honestly a misnomer. he doesn't even run. what he does is submit himself to the law. time and time again. when he frees javert, he offers himself up. when he sees anything that threatens him, he freezes! and that's why in this scene, it makes the most sense for him to immediately submit to javert, and the law! whoever wrote this movie SUPER fucked up with jean valjean! and speaking of fucking up with jean valjean...

section four: how the fuck did they screw up cosette so bad‽

do i really need to go into this. over protective mother jean valjean is how he do be, and he does hate marius because he has a weird fucking relationship with cosette but like. let's not get into his weird complexes. because here's the main thing:

HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SLAP COSETTE

let me back this up. "two misfortunes make one piece of good fortune" specifically gives us of valjean, "It sometimes happened that Jean Valjean clasped her tiny red hand, all cracked with chilblains, and kissed it. The poor child, who was used to being beaten, did not know the meaning of this, and ran away in confusion." this is important, because it shows that valjean is explicitly counter to the thénardiers in his parenting! where the thénardiers beat cosette and shit, jean valjean DOES NOT. he is supposed to be gentle. he's not "figuring out what he's doing and super fucking up" he literally helped his sister raise her kids! and he forgot what that was but upon starting to raise cosette, he comes back to this! he loves her so much you guys! and let me bring you another quote, victor hugo tells us of valjean and cosette, "He protected her, and she strengthened him," HE PROTECTED HER! that's the whole g*ddamn point! he's an overprotective mom, he's scared to have his daughter leave him alone again, and he loves her so much he wouldn't become that horrible! and he doesn't!

jean valjean would never hurt cosette, and if you wanted to go in that direction, make that actually hold weight! make him realize that he's hurting cosette by clinging onto her so hard! make him realize that he's in the wrong, and make him more self sacrificial because he feels extremely bad about doing that! i mean, obviously... i don't think it works. but my point is, if you do it, give it weight. make it matter! they didn't do that and they fucked up their relationship in the process. bad movie. don't do that.

section five: uhhh wtf was up with marius

i don't actually have in depth analysis of this. i am done with my in depth thoughts. they just entirely fucked up les amis de l'abc. idk what to say. horrible job. i'm gonna call it a day tbh. it's late. i don't have any like actually interesting things to comment on. hope you enjoy if you did read this since... it's my analysis and i wrote it up and all that

#les mis #les miserables #les misérables #jean valjean #javert #cosette #inspector javert #les mis 1998 #i didn't like it. not my favorite. i did like jvj and fantines relationship though. that was cute #i liked how they both couldn't read and it was cute because she finally had someone care about her and she was so happy #like. i just liked that dynamic. but i am being negative since. i can't stop thinking about it

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vedicastrology-thestarsguideyou · 3 months

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rainytypology · 9 months

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Enneagram system

A rewrite/more in depth post of the Enneagram system compared to my last post on it. Not an expert. May change later.

If you like kpop and typology, check out my blog. I do type analysis on idols and typology notes.

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What is Enneagram?

I mainly took notes from Riso Hudson theory.

A typology system that categorizes personalities into 9 different types. Each type is numbered from 1 - 9.

Each type has a desire and fear that motivates their actions in life.

Core and Wings

Core: Our main type. It is the foundation of our personality and does not change.

Wing: Acts as a complement to our core. Wing can be one of the two types that sit beside core type. E.g a core 2 can have a 1 wing (2w1) or 3 wing (2w3). But is not necessary to use since wings can change and/or can be balanced.

Levels of Development

Summary of healthy - unhealthy levels of personality

- Healthy levels -

Level 1: Liberation

Let go of self image so we are free to express ourselves however we want. Self acceptance of all traits.

Level 2: Pyschological Capacity

Begin to identify with positive qualities in our personalities and learn to improve ourselves with them.

Level 3: Social Value

Still strongly identify with our set self image and make effort to maintain image. Want to share our good talents and abilities to make a positive effect on self and others.

- Average levels -

Level 4: Imbalance/Social roles

Idealization of self image; have a major focus on either good or bad qualities, no in between. Fear is an obstacle here.

Level 5: Interpersonal Control

Insist on self image being accepted by others, which can cause conflict. Can lead to controlling and manipulation.

Level 6: Overcompensation

Overcompensate due to underlying negative feelings. Desperate for others' acceptance.

- Unhealthy levels -

Level 7: Violation

Desperation for acceptance leads to violation of one's self and others. Serious conflict can occur. May victimize themselves to excuse offensive actions.

Level 8: Obsession and Compulsion

May be overly obsessed with an image of who they want to be. Deceives others

Level 9: Pathological Destructiveness

Most unhealthy state, display very toxic traits and behaviours, may have mental breakdown

Disintegration vs Integration

Or basically Stress vs Growth

Disintegration: When under heavy amounts of stress, a type will go into their disintegration type. They will pick up the negative traits of that type and act like the unhealthy version of it.

Integration: When maturing/developing positively, a type will go their integration type. They will pick up the positive traits of that type and improve their character.

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* I will only give short descriptions for the triads. I will explain more in depth in individual posts.*

Centers of Intelligence

There are 3 centers of intelligence. Each center shows how and why we solve issues in life.

Gut/Instinct/Anger (types 1, 8, 9)

Gut center focuses on reacting and taking action immediately. This triad has an issue with control and anger.

1: Often perfectionists who repress their anger in order to remain morally good. They see their anger in a negative light.

8: The most open and comfortable with their anger. Uses it to assert boundaries, especially since this type fears vulnerability.

9: Often a passive type that dismisses or downplays their anger. They fear conflict and may worry being more assertive will cause a negative effect on themselves and others.

Heart/Image/Shame (types 2, 3, 4)

Heart center focuses on self identity and connections. This triad wants love and recognition and do what they believe is best to get that. They struggle with self worth.

2: They want to be needed and helpful to others. Pride themselves on being of service. Wants to receive love and to give love.

3: The most image oriented type. They always try to show their best selves and best efforts in order to seem admirable. Fears being worthless.

4: Wants to create a unique image for themselves, believes being boring will make them unloveable.

Head/Thinking/Fear (types 5, 6, 7)

Head center focuses on ideas, making rational decisions, and gathering info. This triad deals with fear and uncertainty.

5: The most internalized head type. 5's want to gather as much knowledge and resources as possible in order to stay secure and independent.

6: Quite an anxious type who seeks security through relations with others.

7: This type fears pain and suffering and seek out experiences in order to avoid negativity.

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Other triads

- Harmonic Triads -

How types handle conflict, coping mechanism

Reactive (4, 6, 8)

Reactive types are not afraid to show and speak about their true feelings. They may seem "dramatic" in a way.

4: Melodramatic and self absorbed in negative feelings, drowns in intensity

6: Will argue, stick up for the right thing, moody, anxious

8: Big and loud reactions, can be very fiery

Positive (2, 7, 9)

Positive types dislike negativity and conflict and have their own ways of avoiding such tension. Optimistic during hard times.

2: Actively tries to be a good and kind person, only tries to focus on the good aspects of people

7: Seeks out fun opportunities to make their life exciting (basically distraction)

9: Values harmony and peace, will not risk any type of action that will disturb these values

Competency (1, 3, 5)

Competent types are often perfectionists who want to show their best selves. Objective and rational.

1: Strives to be correct and right, wants to be precise in what they do

3: Represses softer emotions to keep up a certain image, thrives with work/passions so they can be the best at what they do

5: Detached from feelings to remain logical and objective, knowledge seeking

- Hornevian Triads -

Relationships with others, how they get what they want

Assertive (3, 7, 8)

Assertive types go against people to get what they want. Do not back down easily, can seem aggressive and forceful.

3: Pushes through obstacles for achievements, goal oriented

7: Asserts their right to have fun, refuse to be restricted

8: Asserts power and strength, places boundaries

Withdrawn (4, 5, 9)

Withdrawn types are very internalized and do not show their needs openly. Deals with things alone.

4: Feels something is wrong with them internally, feels misunderstood

5: Detached from others as to not drain their own energy, will figure it out themselves

9: Introspective, lets life happen

Compliant (1, 2, 6)

Compliant work with people to get what they want. Builds relationships for security, wants to be helpful to others.

1: Doing the right thing instead of one's own wants

2: Focus on other's needs more instead of self

6: Tries to build a safe and secure environment by getting ppl to work together

- Object Relations -

How we are affected by others, our own affect on others, how we react to personal wounds

Attachment (3, 6, 9)

Seek out bonds and companionships for particular reasons. Individuality vs adaptation.

3: Changes their image to suit whoever they are with in order to meet expectations

6: Creates support systems to help with their self doubt and indecisiveness

9: Adapts to the energy of the environment to keep harmony

Frustration (1, 4, 7)

Triad gets frustrated when their needs aren't met.

1: Has a need to improve every little imperfection they find

4: Dislikes shallowness, longs for depth and complexity

7: Not enjoying experiences, not feeling fulfilled

Rejection (2, 5, 8)

Their own needs feel unimportant to others, so they reject their own needs as well.

2: Rejects the need to receive love and guidance, instead focuses on connecting with others and helping them.

5: Ignores and minimizes all their needs, offers knowledge and expertise in some hope of being acknowledged for their intelligence.

8: Rejects by being never putting their guard down, wanting to appear strong and as the protector of others.

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Subtypes

Claudio Naranjo theory

There are three subtypes/instinctual variants that show our drive in life. There are 27 different subtypes in total.

Self Preservation (Sp)

Focuses on physical safety and security. Our physical health, financial security, obligations, and comforts.

Sexual/One - on - one (Sx)

Wants intensity and deep connections, one on one relationships are preferred.

Social (So)

Prefers to be in a community, wants to create good connections and bonds with others. Socially aware, focus on group goals and contributions.

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Tritype

Katherine Fauvre theory

A minor but still interesting piece of Enneagram. Tritype is formed of your 3 dominant types from each center. The first number will always be your core, followed by your other 2 dominant types.

E.g 369. 3 = core, heart. 6 = head. 9 = gut.

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Enneagram notes

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Side blog:

Kpop astrology @rainy-astrology

Kpop fanarts @rainy-artworks

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