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slytherinslut0 · 6 months

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MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Twenty Two-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day, during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: very angst. lots of emotions going on here. reader proves herself to the syltherin boys. honestly just a really playful, fun, light chapter.

FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

In the wake of Mattheo's cutting words, three days had passed--three seemingly endless days since he had slammed the door shut on your attempts to help him, his declaration of your connection being nothing more than a futile endeavour, one destined for ruin once the end of the school year rolled around still ringing in your ears like a haunting melody.

The echo of his harsh words reverberated within your mind, an incessant hologram with no escape, seeping into your thoughts during sleepless nights, intruding upon your attempts to focus on anything else. You weren't sure why those words had cut so fucking deep, because in the moment you'd hardly even flinched, but you couldn't ignore the lingering pain they caused.

And during those agonizing days, an uncomfortable tension settled between the two of you, hanging in the air like an unspoken truth. You took the hint, biting back the words that threatened to spill, choosing silence over confrontation. You trailed after him like a shadow in between classes, keenly aware that any attempt at conversation would only ignite another explosive clash, a battle neither of you felt prepared to wage again so soon.

The memory of your last argument lingered, its toxicity staining the air between you, leaving wounds too deep to heal without acknowledgment and remorse; two things neither of you seemed ready to give, quite yet.

But what really made matters worse, was that both of you were unyielding in your convictions--both of you shamelessly stubborn and unapologetic, neither of you feeling as though you were in the wrong. Mattheo barricaded himself behind walls, lashing out as if you were the enemy, despite your unwavering efforts to assist him--which, in turn, resulted in your pushiness. Your refusal to tolerate his aggression without challenge, became your armor, your way of standing your ground.

Maybe you had been too forceful, perhaps too harsh, but in your eyes, it was a response to the aggression he hurled your way. You couldn't simply let his hostility go unchecked; it was against your nature. And so, the standoff continued, a battle of wills and tempers, leaving both of you entrenched in your own convictions, neither of you willing to admit fault.

But today, you decided you weren't going to hide back anymore. You couldn't allow your stubbornness to completely destroy whatever progress you had made with Mattheo thus far. This was about more than just your pitiful feelings, or whatever emotions you had tied into the situation with that complicated boy. This was about being there for him, wether he wants you to be or not. Showing compassion and patience.

And so, summing newfound determination, you shook off the weight of your own melancholy and sought him out after dinner. Today, he and his group of friends had chosen the serene ambiance by the black lake as their study sanctuary, immersing themselves in the preparation for the upcoming charms exam next week.

Over the past three days, you had gradually grown somewhat acquainted with his friends. While you hadn't quite reached the level of camaraderie, there was a palpable shift in their attitudes towards you, a subtle warmth replacing the earlier distance. This change in dynamics became more evident, especially after the unsettling incident involving Berkshire, who still remained confined to the hospital wing, almost a week later.

With determined resolve, you traversed the courtyard and descended the hill toward the lake, drawing in a steadying breath. Each step echoed your silent promise: to honour Mattheo's boundaries, even if it felt like swallowing shards of glass. The crisp air seemed to echo your determination as you neared the group of Slytherin boys, their laughter and banter carried on the breeze.

Among them, Mattheo sat with his usual nonchalant demeanor, his tousled hair framing his intense eyes. A cigarette dangled effortlessly from his fingers, his bag slumped lazily beside him as he rested stoically against a tall tree, lost in conversation with Malfoy. As you veered closer, his gaze met yours briefly, as though he sensed your presence, the darkness within his eyes sending a shiver down your spine. Beside him, Blaise Zabini's face lit up with anticipation, a welcoming smile playing on his lips as he waved you over.

"Well good evening, little raven...always a pleasure," Blaise grinned, his tone teasing as he made room for you to sit down next to him. "Here to keep an eye on Riddle, are you?"

As you settled into the space between Blaise and Mattheo, the group of boys, including Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, and Regulus Black, welcomed you with light smiles and eager nods.

"Perhaps." You teased, sneaking a glance at Mattheo, his gaze planted on the cigarette between his fingers as he fiddled with it. "Or perhaps I'm here to make sure you lot don't burn down the entire forest during your little 'study session'..."

"Rest assured, we're Hogwarts' best-behaved troublemakers," Draco chuckled, his eyes glinting with mischief, a cocky smile playing on his lips. "But if you're worried about the forest, maybe you should stick around...your presence might just be the calming influence we need."

Your blush was undeniable as you smirked, meeting Draco's silver eyes across from Mattheo. He leaned back on his palms as his gaze darted over your features, the top buttons of his uniform shirt undone, exuding an air of effortless confidence.

"I know enough about you, Malfoy, to know that's the furthest thing from the truth," you said, your tone teasing. "But either way, I won't be going anywhere anytime soon...unfortunately for him, Riddle here is stuck with me for a few more weeks."

Blaise chuckled, his voice low and smooth. "Ah, the lucky bloke," he replied, his eyes meeting yours with a smouldering intensity. "If I had my way, you'd find yourself stuck with me, instead...and I assure you, it would be a much more enjoyable experience..."

You quirked an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes," he teased, his voice a playful melody as he shot Mattheo a knowing wink. "I know all too well the misery of enduring Riddle's icy presence all day; he could freeze a bloody dragon with that demeanor...it's almost cute that you think you'll be able to change him."

The timbre of his voice, a melodic dance of amusement, filled the space around you, and Mattheo's demeanor, once steely and composed, seemed to falter slightly under the weight of Blaise's remarks.

His features tightened, as if grappling with invisible chains, and your own smile, once confident, wavered slightly, betraying the impact of Blaise's words. Swallowing hard, you felt the weight of his teasing remarks settle in the pit of your stomach, a heavy reminder of the argument you and Mattheo had just a few days ago. Despite the discomfort, you summoned your courage, your voice soft yet resolute as you spoke.

"I'm not trying to change him, Blaise," your words hung in the air, delicate and firm, like a fragile thread of understanding. "I'm just here to support him...whenever he's ready to let me."

Your words lingered for a moment, underscoring your unwavering dedication to bolster Mattheo without imposing change upon his core. Although you were directing these words at Blaise, you hoped Mattheo had taken heed of them--as this mentorship, you understood now, was not about altering his identity; it was about assisting him in unraveling the internal struggles, urging him to redirect his anger into positive outlets rather than combatting every perceived threat with physical violence.

Blaise's eyes softened, his usual playful demeanor giving way to a more contemplative expression. He leaned in closer, his gaze scanning your features with a profound curiosity, as if searching for hidden depths within your soul. His voice, now tinged with awe and respect, broke the silence.

"Where have you been all this time, hm? He could have used someone like you years ago..." he murmured, his gaze shifting between you and Mattheo, a glint of intrigue shimmering in his dark eyes. "She must truly be something special for you to willingly sacrifice your freedom for her, Riddle."

"A special pain in my ass, yeah," Mattheo said, his voice seemingly devoid of emotion, a subtle hint of sarcasm lacing his words. As he took a draw of his cigarette, a flicker of annoyance flashed in his eyes, the smoke curling around him like a shield. "Nothing about this arrangement was willingly chosen, Zabini..."

Despite the gravity of his words, a rush of warmth surged within you at Mattheo's candid remark. Amusement sparked in your eyes, a glint of playful defiance as you tried to suppress a smirk that threatened to betray your composure.

"Don't let him fool you, he loves it..." your voice, low and teasing, hung in the air, the words daring and provocative as you shamelessly appraised Mattheo's hardened features. "Isn't that right, Riddle? You know you enjoy being kept on your toes for once..."

Mattheo met your gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly, but a flicker of amusement danced in their depths. Your boldness didn't go unnoticed, a silent understanding passing between you amidst the banter. With an air of nonchalance, he raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he brought his cigarette to his mouth once more.

"Yeah, that's what I enjoy," he drawled, his tone dry and drenched in sarcasm. "Being kept on my toes."

A rush of heat flooded your cheeks at Mattheo's sneakily playful words, your attempt to conceal your reaction falling short. Your eyes dropped to your lap, a feeble effort to shield your reddening face from the prying eyes around you. The charged words hung thick in the air, every gaze in the circle keenly aware of the subtle shift in dynamics. Before you could even think to react, Theodore Nott's voice, low and teasing, sliced through the tension, his eyes glinting with a playful gleam that hinted at secrets only he knew.

"Careful, Bella Mia..." he cautioned, his words hanging in the space between you, laden with enigmatic warnings. "You'll only get hurt."

Confusion knit your brows, a perplexed frown marring your features as you tried to decipher his cryptic statement.

"What?" you asked, your voice betraying your bewilderment.

"Your smile..." he replied with a knowing smirk, his tone light but filled with subtle implications, "...you look like you're about to fall in love."

The breath caught in your throat, the world around you momentarily blurring as Theodore's unexpected revelation hit you like a tidal wave. The color drained from your cheeks, leaving your face pale, and your heart thudded against your ribs with a fervent urgency, as if pleading for clarity. Flustered and unprepared, you turned your gaze toward Mattheo, seeking solace in his familiar presence.

Nervousness danced in your eyes, a desperate search for reassurance before you stammered out a denial, the words tumbling from your lips in a rush. "Fall...in love? With Mattheo? Sorry, no...no bloody way."

Your words spilled out in a hurried, almost desperate attempt to dispel the implication, yet there was an undeniable tremor in your voice, a subtle quiver that betrayed the unease settling deep within you. Mattheo's eyes met yours, but they held an emptiness, a haunting void that sent a shiver down your spine, something distant flickering within them, making your stomach twist in uneasy knots.

Around you, the group erupted into sneers and light chuckles, their amusement palpable as they sensed your flustered expression. But your attention remained fixated on Mattheo, his silent gaze carrying the weight of Theodore's words, a looming storm cloud hanging over your heads, heavy with unspoken implications.

In love. The notion seemed absurd, impossible even. No, it couldn't be true. There was no way.

"Nott's right, you'll only get hurt..." Malfoy's sneering voice cut through the air, his words laced with a malicious amusement as he cast a sideways glance at Theodore, who snickered in agreement. "You're far too innocent for Riddle... he'd chew you up and spit you out in a second...any of us would..."

He paused, his cold eyes darting from yours to Mattheo's, and back to yours again, as if sizing up the situation. A sly smirk played on his lips, the cruel glint in his eyes sharpening. "Well, perhaps not Notty boy here; he's a little softer."

A surge of heat coursed through your veins, igniting a fierce determination within you that contrasted sharply with the warm, gentle breeze caressing your skin. Despite the pressure weighing heavily upon you and the palpable weight of their expectations hanging in the air, you refused to succumb to their underestimation. With your pulse quickening, you squared your shoulders, locking eyes with Malfoy's cocky gaze.

"You know...I don't believe I'm as fragile as you all seem to think I am," you retorted, words laced with conviction, challenging their perception of you. "I can handle myself just fine."

"Don't let her appearance fool you," Mattheo's words, unexpectedly slicing through the charged atmosphere, nearly startled your heart out of your chest. His voice, dripping with playful irony, reverberated through your limbs as he spoke without even sparing you a glance, his dark hair framing his face and his whiskey eyes meeting Malfoy's with a challenging glint. "That pretty face hides one hell of a devilish mind."

A collective reaction rippled through the group of boys, their eyebrows shooting up in surprise, their smirks growing wider. The implications of Mattheo's remark hung thick in the air, sparking newfound curiosity and amusement that crackled in the atmosphere like electricity. Malfoy seized the opportunity, his smirk taking on a mischievous edge.

"Now you're calling her pretty, Riddle?" he teased, his tone laced with playful skepticism. "Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two? You have been spending a hell of a lot of time together..."

Simultaneously, you both shot back with lightening speed--your words colliding mid-air, overlapping with the others quick response in a chaotic symphony of denial.

"He wishes," you said, your voice carrying a playful edge--while at the same instant, Mattheo sneered, his tone dripping with sarcasm and wit. "In her bloody dreams," he said.

Your synchronized responses elicited another round of chuckles from the boys, a shared moment of camaraderie at the expense of you and Mattheo. The tension between the two of you remained, but the exchange had shifted into a playful rhythm, now, the unspoken dynamics between you two sparking curiosity among the others. Malfoy's chuckles gradually faded, replaced by a challenging glint in his eyes as he raised an eyebrow, a smirk curling his lips.

"Alright then...little good girl," he drawled, his tone laden with mischief. "Why don't you prove it?"

Your nerves prickled beneath your skin, a rush of anxiety coursing through your veins as you stammered, "Prove...it? Prove what?"

"Prove that you aren't as innocent and fragile as we think you are," he challenged, his words hanging in the air like a dare. "Prove that you're more than just your books and your pushy, smartass attitude."

Nervously, you glanced around the circle at each of the boys, their eyes fixed on you with wide grins of anticipation. The weight of their expectations pressed upon you, and you felt the intensity of the moment, wether you wished to ignore it or not. Mattheo didn't dare to meet your gaze, but you could sense the slight smirk playing on his lips as he casually fiddled with his cigarette. After a long, silent moment, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come.

"Fine, Malfoy," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. "Challenge excepted."

With determination, you pushed off the ground, turning your attention away from the circle and toward the tranquil expanse of the black lake. The challenge had been accepted, and you were ready to prove that there was more to you than met the eye, ready to do whatever the hell you needed to earn their respect in your own damned way.

The boys surrounding you stared in wide-eyed shock as you swiftly shrugged off your uniform jacket, the soft fabric falling carelessly to the grassy ground. With a quick motion, you kicked off your shoes, the blades of grass tickling your feet beneath the fading sunlight--it was dark enough now that if you moved away from them, toward the edge of the lake, and stripped off your skirt and shirt, they wouldn't be able to see too much. Nevertheless, they'd still catch glimpses, and that was precisely the point.

Mattheo, still seated, shot you a puzzled look, his eyes narrowing with sheer confusion and concern.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he questioned, his voice slicing through the stunned silence. The weight of his gaze bore into you, searching for an explanation that might justify your unexpected actions. A surge of confidence pushed you forward, your resolve unwavering.

"I'm going to prove that I'm more than what you all think," you replied, your voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins. "And that sometimes, good girls do bad things, too."

Theodore Nott, always one to read the room, glanced between you and Mattheo, a sly smile playing on his lips. "This should be interesting," he murmured, his tone laced with amusement. "Salazar save us..."

With a newfound sense of liberation, you descended toward the tranquil lake, the gentle lapping of water against the shore a soothing melody in the background. The soft rustle of the wind caressed your ears, heightening the anticipation that hung thick in the air. As you began to undo the buttons on your uniform blouse, each delicate movement resonated with the weight of the challenge, setting your heart racing in your chest.

With every button that slipped out, the tension in the atmosphere grew palpable, the burning gazes of the captivated boys etched into your flesh. The fabric of your blouse glided off your shoulders, landing gracefully on the grass like a discarded shield at your feet. Standing there, clad in nothing but your bra and skirt, you felt a heady mix of exhilaration and vulnerability wash over you.

As the cool evening air enveloped your skin, you sensed a presence behind you. Slowly, you peeked over your shoulder to find Mattheo sprinting toward you, his brows furrowed in disbelief and his eyes widened in pure shock. He came to a halt just a few feet away, his voice laden with a mixture of astonishment and genuine concern.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?" he exclaimed, his words a sharp contrast to the stunned silence that had fallen over the group. "You're going to fucking freeze..."

His gaze flickered over you, a kaleidoscope of emotions playing in his eyes, the dominant one undeniably being shock, tinged with a hint of something else--something unspoken and complex. Under the intensity of his stare, you felt a rush of warmth suffuse your skin, a bold defiance kindling within you as your hands moved to the band of your skirt. With deliberate slowness, you teased the length of its waist, holding his eyes captive in a daring challenge.

"What's the matter, Riddle?" you purred, savoring the power in the moment, knowing he couldn't physically intervene in front of his friends without arousing suspicion. "Are you truly worried about me?" Your voice dropped into a low, nearly inaudible whisper as your smirk deepened, relishing the way his eyes tracked your hands. "Or...perhaps...you're just unable to handle other men looking at your property..."

Mattheo's frustration was palpable, his brows furrowing as he struggled to maintain his composure. Yet, beneath the annoyance, there was a glimmer of amusement, a reluctant acknowledgment of your audacity.

"You're playing with fire, again, aren't you?" he muttered, his tone a blend of exasperation and begrudging amusement. A wry smile tugged at the corner of his lips, a hint of admiration for your boldness despite the irritation simmering beneath the surface. "Just be careful you don't get burned."

"Oh, please," you retorted, unable to contain your smirk, the confidence in your voice echoing your daring spirit. "Witches don't burn."

With a swift, decisive motion, you cast your skirt aside, the fabric pooling on the grass as you dashed toward the lake with unbridled determination. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, dulling the edge of the initial shock as you plunged into the cold water. A sharp gasp cut through the night as the icy embrace of the lake stole your breath away, the shock of the temperature quickly giving way to exhilaration. In the background, the boys erupted into cheers and hollers, their admiration for your audacious leap resonating in the crisp evening air like a chorus of approval.

Meanwhile, at the shore, Mattheo stood half-stunned, his eyes widening in surprise before that sly smirk slowly crept back onto his face. He watched you with a mix of amusement and something else, something that look almost like an undeniable respect for your audacity. His fingers absently toyed with his cigarette as he observed your fearless actions, his usual stoic demeanor momentarily shattered by your bold act.

From the water, you observed the boys exchanging glances, their smirks hinting at a shared understanding that transcended words. With an unspoken agreement, they shrugged in unison, a collective "fuck it" echoing through the air. One by one, they rose to their feet, shedding their uniforms with carefree abandon until they stood just as exposed as you were. Their toned bodies glistened under the evening sky, the moonlight filtering through the clouds, casting a silvery glow upon their skin.

With lively laughter echoing through the night air, the boys sprinted toward you, their infectious excitement palpable even from a distance. They effortlessly brushed past Mattheo, who stood frozen in place, his expression a mosaic of shock and amusement, his eyes tracking each of his friends as they leaped into the water alongside you. As the cold water embraced them, the boys couldn't help but groan in unison, their playful complaints filling the air.

"Bloody hell, it's freezing..." Reggie exclaimed, eliciting chuckles from the others. “How the fuck did I think this was a good idea…”

Amidst the banter, they turned their attention to you, their expressions a blend of awe and admiration.

"You've definitely surprised us, little bird," Theodore teased, his tone laced with genuine respect. "Making this look so easy, aren't you?"

Malfoy's voice echoed with a mix of amusement and challenge as he shouted across the water to Mattheo.

"Riddle, don't be a killjoy," he taunted, a playful glint in his eyes. "I know you can't resist a good challenge...you're really going to let little raven here outshine you like this?”

The words hung in the air, a tempting dare that Mattheo couldn't ignore. He stood at the water's edge, his expression a mixture of hesitation and a playful grumbling--clearly debating whether to join the revelry or stay put. You grinned as you watched, his face sporting a resigned yet amused expression, as he finally succumbed, muttering under his breath as he peeled off his uniform with deliberate slowness.

"You guys are bloody mad," he grumbled as he folded his clothes neatly on the shore, his movements deliberate and slightly begrudging. "If we catch hypothermia, Raven, I'm blaming you."

Finally, with a sarcastic salute and a roll of his eyes, he took a deep breath and dove into the water, his entry marked by a splash that mirrored the energy and excitement of the night, everyone erupting into laughter at his little display. Mattheo waded over, his playful irritation evident in the way he shot you a mock glare before unleashing a playful splash, water droplets scattering in all directions.

"Mattheo!" You squealed, wiping the water from your face. "You bloody arse!"

His eyes twinkled with mischief, and he couldn't help but smirk as you retaliated, sending a splash of water right back at him. The tension from earlier had transformed into a playful energy, the group now engaged in a water fight, laughter filling the air as splashes and giggles and squeals intermingled.

Before you knew it, everyone was caught up in the spirited frenzy, water splashing in every direction as the boys chased each other, their playful shouts and laughter blending harmoniously. Mattheo, who had initially been the reluctant participant, seemed to revel in the chaos, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he retaliated with gusto, no longer holding back.

As the water fight intensified, you noticed Mattheo momentarily distracted, his attention diverted by the antics of the other boys. Seizing the opportunity, you discreetly gathered a handful of mud from the lakebed, forming it into a small, compact ball. With careful precision, you approached him from behind, your steps silent in the water, and with a swift motion, you lobbed the mud ball, aiming for Mattheo's shoulder.

The ball hit its mark perfectly, leaving a satisfying splatter of mud on his skin, the boys erupting into laughter, thoroughly entertained by your clever move. However, turning around, Mattheo's eyes widened in exaggerated shock, his voice tinged with playful hurt.

"Did you just fucking ambush me? In front of my own men?" he exclaimed, his tone laced with feigned betrayal as he theatrically wiped the mud off his skin. “You’re real fucking bold, aren’t you, Raven?”

You snickered, grinning at the fact you’d caught him off guard like that. “You know what they say…never drop your guard, Mattheo…”

A mischievous glint sparked in his eyes as he casually glanced over your shoulder, spotting Theodore wading in the water behind you and Malfoy standing just a bit to your side. A subtle shift occurred in Mattheo's demeanor, a silent understanding passing between him, Theodore, and Malfoy. Their eyes exchanged a knowing look, a shared sense of mischief darkening their expressions. Mattheo's voice, once filled with mock hurt, now dripped with wicked amusement as he issued his command.

"Grab her, boys," he ordered, his voice taking on a sinister edge, setting the stage for the impeding revenge. "Time to show the little bird what happens when you mess with a bunch of venomous snakes."

Excitement surged through your veins, a thrilling concoction of adrenaline and laughter, as you attempted to evade their grasp. Your heart raced, the pounding in your chest echoing the playful chaos around you. Despite your best efforts, Theodore's fingers wrapped firmly around your arm, and Malfoy's grip held your other, their strength ensuring your playful struggles were in vain.

“Come on, Mattheo!” You squirmed and giggled, a delightful blend of resistance and amusement, as you found yourself caught in their playful trap. “I’m sorry, please…”

Mattheo, his confidence soaring now that you were being successfully restrained, seized a hefty clump of mud, his fingers sinking into its cool, squishy texture. As he spun back around, his eyes locked onto yours, and with deliberate measured steps, he closed the distance between you, his movements exuding a cocky swagger that only intensified your anxiety.

"Any last words, Raven?" he taunted, his voice dripping with playful malice, the echoes of your impending fate resonating in the air like a looming storm. "If you wish to pathetically apologize for that ignorant display, now is the time to do so."

"Mattheo, please!" Desperation and regret flooded your voice, your pleas tumbling out in a desperate rush, mingling with the tension that hung heavy in the air. "I'm so sorry, please don't--I didn't mean to-"

But Mattheo merely shook his head, a triumphant smirk curving his lips, dismissing your words with a casual flick of his hand.

"Actually, just decided it's too late for ass-kissing now, princess," he sneered, his words cutting through the air like a sharp blade. "Brace yourself."

With a swift motion, he hurled the mud at you, the clump splattering against your chest. Laughter erupted from the boys, their camaraderie deepening in the chaos of the moment. And you, caught in their playful trap, couldn't help but join in the laughter, realizing that the evening had taken an unexpected turn, transforming into a memorable, joyous escapade under the moonlit sky.

As the boys finally released their grip, laughter still lingering in the air, Mattheo met your eyes, his gaze dipping over your mud-splattered form with a mix of amusement and something else you couldn't quite decipher.

Grumbling, you couldn't resist a playful jab, "You're such an ass."

His chuckle transformed into a self-assured grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Guilty as charged," he admitted, his voice teasing. "But you have to admit, it was worth it for that look on your face."

You let out a reluctant chuckle, realizing the absurdity of the situation. "Fine, you win this round," you conceded, unable to suppress a smile. "But don't get too comfortable; next time I'm bringing everything I got."

"I'm counting on it," Mattheo replied with a grin, a spark of anticipation in his eyes, acknowledging the challenge you had just thrown his way. “Wouldn’t be normal for you if you didn’t.”

After a little bit longer, the group of you finally emerged from the water, the stars twinkling overhead like diamonds scattered across the night sky. Laughter and playful groans of annoyance filled the air as you all struggled to peel your clothes back on, the urgency to get back to the castle evident in the chilly breeze that swept through the night.

With clothes clinging damply to your skin, you all made your way back, sharing stories and laughter along the path. The atmosphere was light, the shared escapade having created a bond among you, making the cold night feel a little warmer. As you approached the castle, a sense of accomplishment and newfound friendship enveloped the group, and you couldn't help but feel a thrill at the unexpected turn the night had taken, leaving you with a memory of an exhilarating adventure under the starlit sky.

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Chapter 23->

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iamnotokaythx · 10 months

Note

just an idea:

reader “loses” miguel’s engagement ring, so he resorts to tattooing it on your finger so you can never pretend you’re not his 🥰

it could look so cool too with a red/blue/black design yknow?

anon i like the way your brain thinks. lowkey wanna do a pt2 where reader’s escaped him and is trying to cover up the tattoo to get rid of all evidence of him

cw: needles, tattooing, established relationship, reader has never gotten a tattoo/is a little afraid, yandere!miguel, gn reader, its all lowercase

—

“miguel, don’t you think this is a little bit much?” you ask, fidgeting with your soon-to-be inked finger.

“well, you lost the ring. this’ll make it to where you always have it on.” he replies with an innocent smile.

“i mean, we could look for it. and then we could put it on a chain?”

“true, but metal rusts. i’ve paid good money for a tattoo artist already. no whining.”

you decide to give up; it’s not like miguel is easy to sway when he’s set in something. the car pulls up to a parking spot in front of a cute mom and pop’s shop. miguel would have done it himself, but he has too shaky of hands and wasn’t certified—only the best for his darling.

the shop smelled like insence. you were led into a small room where a heavily inked person was sterilizing their needle. they turned back to you and waved you forward. “hi, are you mx. o’hara? appointment for 2:00.” they asked to be sure.

“soon to be.” you murmured, noticing how miguel grinned and stood up a little straighter as the artist referred to you as his spouse.

you sat on the chair and miguel offered his hand. post-eyeroll, you grabbed his hand anyways.

“i’m afraid of needles.” you warn the artist.

“it’s alright! many people are.” they promise you. “so low long have you been together? oh, and do you have wedding plans?” they ask over the whirring of the gun. they roll their chair to get right beside you, causing miguel to bristle a little bit.

“we’ve been together a couple years. our wedding’s planned for 2 months from now. they just keep losing their ring, and i like reminding everyone that they’re exclusive to me. we belong with each other.” miguel didn’t let you speak, too eager to inform even this random person that you are his and he is yours.

the tattooist glances up after miguel’s slightly creepy rant and laughs hollowly. “understood. well, you definitely do love them.”

“of course i do.” he snapped, earning a light hit from you.

“miguel. it was a compliment.” you scold him. he rolls his eyes. you squeeze his hand in anticipation as the gun touches down onto your ring finger.

“sorry.“ he muttered unapologetically.

on the car ride home, he held your hand in his and gazed intently the ring around your finger.

“it’s a little… vibrant.” he criticized, the hues being brighter than he envisioned. “the reds especially.”

“it’ll look more faded once it heals.”

“oh. good. not too faded though, right? i mean, it’s gonna be visible.”

“yeah. it’s a tattoo, miguel.” you remind him.

“ah. right.” he murmurs, still mesmerized by the ink. “do you think that artist was flirting with you? they were really close to you.”

“no, i don’t think they were flirting. they were hired to tattoo me.”

“right, right.”

“what’s your plan for after the wedding? get this one removed and then tattoo the wedding ring on?”

“…”

“that was sarcasm. and the tattoo was uncomfortable, i don’t want it zapped off just to replace it.”

“don’t lose your ring, then.” he flashed a cocky smile.

#tw yandere #—asks #this one was honestly so fun to write ngl #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x gn reader #miguel o’hara x reader #yandere miguel x reader #yandere miguel o’hara x gn reader #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o’hara x reader

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lotus222 · 10 months

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I have a theory…

Everyone is up and arms about the elriel v. gwynriel debate so if you get easily triggered about those ships pls avert your eyes cause I’m gonna be unapologetically brutal.

I just finished reading CC2 (ik I’m behind) and it opened my eyes to something SJM has been saying since the beginning.

Now, while reading this massive book, I had a continuing foreboding feeling that Hunt was going to be replaced by Ithan as Bryce’s love interest. Bc as we know SJM always switches up the MMC after one book or so, so I was scurred. BUT

I was pleasantly surprised to see that SJM did all in her power to reinforce the idea that these two are endgame, by having Bryce CHOOSE Hunt and vice versa — going against her arranged marriage, the royal lineage requirements, and the added complexity of mates for fae, angels, and wolves

It was refreshing to see Bryce and Hunt come together out of true love as opposed to SJM’s usual trope of “oh they were destined so they have to be together”. Don’t get me wrong, I love her other couples too - but Bryce and Hunt have always been my favs bc of this fact.

Then, imagine my surprise when I see that Bryce and Hunt CHOOSE to be mates. Simply bc the title bf & gf didn’t work for them. THEN, they’re revealed to be true mates, and their love for one another simply forged this unbreakable bond where now they have the same strength (if not stronger) then preordained mates.

Here’s where the ACOTAR ships come in…

Now…i don’t care who mrs Maas decides to put together. I have loved every single couple she has produced so ik I’ll love the next inner circle couple. BUT ik in my heart of hearts and based off of common sense that it’s going to be Elain + Azriel

(Also pls keep in mind that the ACOTAR fae are the ancestors of the CC fae, which means whatever Bryce and Hunt can feel/do/etc, first originated or was discovered in the ACOTAR world) which means this true mates thing that Bryce and Hunt have can have originated with Az & Elain

CC3 takes place after ACOSF, where we all know there are things needing to be addressed. Bryce wakes up on the lawn of the townhouse where Az is and there’s fresh bread & roses in the air…then everyone else arrives later. Meaning Az was at the townhouse by himself…with the bread & roses (Elain).

Some of y’all might think that’s a stretch or irrelevant, but I think it’s fully intentional that SJM put CC3 before the next ACOTAR book. It’s bc everyone in the ACOTAR world up until this point has followed the rules of “be with your mate and love them”, but now Bryce is there as a clear example of having a mate not chosen by some stupid bowl, but by herself and her heart. Which is something I think will strike a chord with Elain and Azriel.

Az has NEVER been chosen, and I don’t think (even if gwyn is his mate or his backup singer or whatever y’all are calling her now) he will be satisfied by someone being thrown to him, forced to love him bc of a bond. He wants them to choose to love him like his dad and Mor didn’t (sry Mor stans but she didn’t, she admitted so herself in ACOWAR)

Rhys (sry cause I also dislike him after ACOSF) is just like Bryce’s bio dad and is trying to place a barrier between the couple in the name of politics and what is usually done, but just like Bryce (I.E. WHY THERE IS A BONUS CHAPTER W HER, AZ, AND NES (THE ONLY 2 (-Rhys) WHO WILL KNOW ABOUT AZ’s FEELINGS)) Az/Elain will choose to divert that standard, motivated by the love Bryce expresses for her chosen mate, Hunt.

Plus, can I mention y’all also acted this way with Cass met Emery at the end of ACOFAS…and thought they were gonna be together before ACOSF came out and now y’all are doing the same to Gwyn. I personally think Gwyn has been traumatized beyond belief by men, and I don’t think what she needs in her life to heal from that is the man that saved her from that trauma. She doesn’t need to be saved or reminded of that time in her life anymore. Like, girl could still not bring herself to leave the house of wind at the end of ACOSF. Idk about y’all but I wouldn’t fall in love with the cop who saved me from that kind of crime, I’d move on and find love for myself.

No matter if you’re a gwynriel stan or not, we can all agree that the kiss at the end of ACOSF cannot be ignored, and this relationship between Az and Elain has been building up for THREE BOOKS. Gwyn has only been here for one. Take it from me my lovely gwynriels, and be prepared for disappointment.

NOW, where does Lucien fit in all of this? I think Lucien takes the same stance as Ithan from CC. Elain doesn’t know the sassy, caring Lucien we know bc the only interactions she’s had with him were when he sold her out to Hybern (mind you: when she was ENGAGED) and when he’s been around her bc he felt this need due to a mating bond. It’s fair that she doesn’t love him, just like it’s fair that Bryce doesn’t love Ithan. Just because there’s a bond, in whatever form, doesn’t mean that entitles another to that female’s love.

Lucien deserves someone who wants to be with him and as a fan of his character, too, I don’t want him stuck with Elain. Especially when she’s made it so clear she doesn’t want him. I think Lucien accepting Elain going with Azriel will lead him back to the Spring Court (cause it’ll still hurt, and he’ll need space) and give y’all that Tamlin redemption arc you’ve been dying for for some reason.

Either way, the answer of who is Az’s mate is a big topic, so I think SJM doing the same thing with him that she did with Bryce and Hunt in CC2 would be so bomb. Plus, she’s always said that the books she writes will be with the female at the forefront, so sry babes, there’s no Azriel book.

So book 5/6 (incl ACOFAS) in the ACOTAR world will be Elriel, then it’ll be Morr/all of the couples, and the novella will probably be Spring Court (i.e., Vaasa/Tamlin/Lucien). Don’t quote me on anything past the next ACOTAR book, I’m just guessing on those

Anyway, that’s how I think it’s going to go but I’m not the author or anything, so take this as you will

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clerz · 1 year

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All the complaining about TSATS just shows, in my opinion, how the older audiences of Rick Riordan expect his books to age WITH them. In reality, Nico is a bit over a year older than the last time we read from his point of view. And in that year his life has changed drastically. A character showing growth and change doesn’t mean they are being written “wrong”. Nicos character, if anything, is such great representation for so many depressed teens a children. Personally, seeing his character finally heal and gain real stability for the first time in YEARS was so emotional for me.

Also, Nico literally called himself The Ghost King when he was like 13/14 and y’all are expecting him to NOT be cringe??? PLEASE 😭

AND WHEN HE SAID PERCY WAS NOT HIS TYPE. Y’all he’s been “cringe” he’s literally a teenager!!!!

All in all, if you thought this book was out of character or cringey, maybe you are just growing out of the genre :) (Like actually, I’m not trying to be mean saying this lmao) If I read this book expecting it to be like a “cutesy” gay YA romance, I would think it was cringe as well. But this book is so unapologetically Rick, and it was enhanced by Mark so well with how Nico and Will interacted.

There are so many important conversations in the book, I could literally write and essay on it. I won’t, but I could.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this book is absolute perfection… but Nico’s character has been so “fandomized” that I also think his true identity has been so watered down and idealized. To me, this book read as the Nico that Nico should be. Making him any different would be a disservice to who he represents!

Also I want more friends on Good Reads so like add me pls

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/98271429

#pjo #tsats #the sun and the star #solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace

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autisticlancemcclain · 8 months

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pt one

———

Hunk’s phone rings. Loudly. Since he is the pinnacle of grace and benevolence, he spares one hand, eyes still trained firmly on the other hand pressing a screwdriver onto a delicate wire joint to hold it steady, to blindly pat about on his workbench until it closes around the device. He jabs a finger on the screen until the ringing ceases.

“Yah,” he says, not bothering with hellos. He’s busy.

“Handle your person,” Shiro hisses, then immediately hangs up.

Hunk snorts. Someone’s nap was disturbed.

He turns back to his project, sighing as he wraps it up. He doesn’t have long. If he can just solder this last wire, get that last connection in, it’ll be way easier to —

Lance kicks open his door, walking in screaming.

“Hello,” Hunk greets idly. And largely sarcastically, he will admit. Lance continues his wordless yell, vocalizing at the very top of his lungs, muffled only when he throws himself on Hunk’s bed and buries himself in Hunk’s pillow. “Shiro tells me you’re terrorizing people.”

“His skull is fucking solid!” Lance screeches.

Hunk does not need to ask to whom Lance is referring. He does, however, pause what he’s doing immediately, spinning around slowly in his chair with his fingertips pressed together like every eighties cartoon villain. His smile can only really be described as gleeful. Perhaps diabolical if he stretches.

He is entirely unapologetic.

“And what happened this time,” Hunk questions, adopting his very best therapy voice. It must work, because Lance shoots up, face bright candy red, wicked snarl pulling on his lips. When he speaks again his voice is carefully controlled and dripping with rage.

“It is beyond hinting, Kealoha. I have practically laid myself at his feet and begged him to ravish me, and he still does not get it. I am going to fucking wring his neck.”

Hunk hums thoughtfully. “Well, that is probably what it’s going to take.” At Lance’s raised eyebrow, he rushes to clarify — “Throwing yourself at his feet, I mean. Don’t strangle him. At least not before I can see it.”

Lance groans loudly. This time when he flops back on Hunk’s mattress he is more miserable than rageful, like a scolded chihuahua. Hunk considers telling him that and then remembers that he’s quite fond of his limbs where they are.

“I know he likes me,” Lance grumbles. “He’s just a dumbass. Like, yesterday he had to go into a healing pod because I did those leg stretches in front of him and he walked into the wall and broke his nose. And last week he said I smelled good and no straight people say stupid shit like that. And when I flirted with that princess on our last mission I was lowkey worried he was gonna jump her, or something. He went all big bad Galra growly and everything.”

Hunk inclines his head. “This is true.”

It is true. Well, he didn’t know the broken nose thing — although that’s hilarious and he will be sharing that information with the class when prudent — and he hasn’t witnessed many of the specific brands of Keith and Lance dumbassery, since they spend so much time on their own, but he, like, has eyes. Keith wants Lance so bad it’s actually embarrassing. Hunk’s not one to generally agree with Lance, since it’s his God-given right to humble him at any opportunity, but that boy is oblivious unlike any other. He understands that Keith is emotionally stunted due to the ordeal of being orphaned, and to Keith he leaves his highest sympathies, but also Jesus Christ, dude. How many times are you going to be wrought with jealousy before you go oh, duh, I might be in love with this goober.

Maybe Shiro hasn’t had the talk with him yet. Hunk makes a mental note to follow up.

“—it’s just that I don’t understand,” Lance laments.

Hunk blinks back to the conversation, where Lance has clearly taken it upon himself to wax poetic and inspire woe upon himself once more.

Hunk stills. An idea wiggles its delightful little way through his brain. He holds up his phone, pointed at Lance’s prone and desolate form.

God, he loves his brain. He loves meddling. He loves love and life, basically.

“I just,” Lance sighs, and to his endless credit he sounds genuinely torn-up, for all his melodrama. “I wish I could just tell him, I guess. In some way. I wish I could get it through his fool head that he is loved by me particularly in such a way that I want to hold hands and kiss and generally be nuisances of the affectionate kind. You know, romance.”

Hunk hums with great understanding. “I see. And say you were not plagued with chronic anxiety and an unfortunate tendency to glow in your face region if someone so much as insinuates in any capacity that they care about you — what would you say to this paramour of yours?”

Lance tilts his head consideringly. His eyes are big and brown and pouty, like a scorned puppy. It’s adorable, in a pathetic kind of way. Hunk cannot help but pat him delicately on the knee.

“I suppose,” he huffs, “that I would just say it outright. Keith Kogane, you magnanimous dumbass, would it kill you to ask me out like a man. Something like that.”

“You could also ask him out like a man,” Hunk points out.

“Choke and die,” Lance responds, predictably. Hunk pays him again.

Hunk stops the recording and tucks his phone back in his pocket. He will decide how to handle the situation shortly.

…After he makes several copies and distributes them to the team. Obviously. Hunk’s excellent advice and matchmaking skills isn’t free, after all.

Lance whines again. “Why is my life so sick and twisted.”

Hunk chooses against reminding Lance that they are in the very beginning of the process of dismantling the worst tyranny the universe has ever seen, and of all the things in his life to be sick and twisted his dweeby romance is probably not one of them. Because that would be a huge buzzkill, obviously. Instead he delicately and a touch condescendingly pats Lance on the head. Lance leans into the touch, because he is a massive sweetheart and dork and nerd, and Hunk can’t help but smile widely.

“All will work out,” he says ominously. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Blah,” Lance says.

Hunk smiles wider.

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lupeloto · 16 days

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a mickey milkovich + physical affection in s11 meta/analysis

Mickey Milkovich went from flinching away any time Ian tried to touch him in a non-sexual setting to accepting physical acts of love and affection even when it’s difficult for him to do so. andddd i wanna talk about it when it is most difficult and why!

I do think that the writers did an good job at portraying the difference in the moments in which he would accept the physical touch with a smile and when it was more difficult for him to do so. (ps me saying that the writers did like anything good in s11 is a rare occurrence)

Season four is when we really begin to see the beginning of that shift into accepting it from Ian. Season five we see that he has gotten more comfortable in receiving as well as giving, especially in times of distress regarding Ian. The next time we see them as a fully functioning couple, there are definitely times in which Mickey was hesitant to accept it but only in times when he felt vulnerable and exposed.

I am going to focus on the later season here as that is when we see Mickey begin to actually address the situation with his father. For example, 11x12 when he had just revealed a genuine fear of his that branches from the abuse he faced in childhood, he flinches at/recoils at Ian’s attempt to comfort him. However, later in the episode, he accepts these joyful acts of affection from Ian because it is something he is no longer ashamed of. He does not shy away from physical affection when it comes from a place of being open and in love with Ian anymore at this point in his life.

I think that this shows that although Mickey has become comfortable and unapologetic in his sexual identity, he has not made those strides in other areas of his life. He still feels this grave shame regarding his father and the abuse he faced. He thinks it makes him weak and has trouble admitting that it is something that has impacted him to this day. Although, Ian obviously sees straight through this facade.

It is also shown in 11x06 when Mickey accepts help from Ian in getting Terry up the steps. Ian stops him, holding his head and reassuring that he is nothing like Terry. Mickey struggles to even look Ian in the eye at this time, the vulnerability so overwhelming. It is so interesting how tends to resent any affection during times regarding that part of his life that he has never fully healed from. It is also incredible to see how Ian knows exactly how to deal with him in those situations. He knows what Mickey needs, offering small acts of affection in those times until the finale. It is as if Ian was holding in this urge to embrace him, so he finally gives in and forces Mickey into the hug, knowing it is what he needed once Mickey stops resisting almost immediately.

anyways, I think that mickey milkovich has done such a long way in accepting love from ian and being proud of who he is in that way. and i also think that he still had such a long way to come in terms of healing those others parts of himself and ian will be there the whole time and im so proud of him and he’s so proud of him. anddd enjoy these pics of them being happy and in love!

#having a yapathon over here jesus christ #understand if ain’t nobody reading all that #just my thoughts!#i might have missed some things bc i haven’t watched s11 in a while #so lmk if i did and your thoughts!#ian gallagher #shameless #meta #shameless meta #gallavich meta #yapping #mickey milkovich #gallavich

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blueteller · 1 year

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So, I discovered the "random incorrect quotes generator" and had some fun with it. Here you go 😂

Alberu: So. Choi Han and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Cale: *sighs* …What did Choi Han do? Alberu: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and… Choi Han: *smiles innocently* Do you need a steering wheel, Cale-nim?

Cale: We need to get through this locked door. Bud, give me your money Bud: …Ok, here? Cale: *pockets it* Thanks. Choi Han, kick down the door Bud: …

Eruhaben: While I'm gone - Raon, you're in charge. Raon: Yes!!! Eruhaben: *whispers* On, you're the one actually in charge. On: *whispers back* Obviously.

Basen: Where's Lily? She isn't answering Violan: I'll call Basen: Father and I have both tried six times ea- Violan: Lily! Lily: *in distance* Yes?

Cale: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Choi Han: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Raon: Smad! Cale & Choi Han: … (How can he be so cute)

Tasha: Alberu, tell Mary about the birds and the bees Mary: *stares silently* Alberu: *sweats* Alberu: …They're disappearing at an alarming rate

Cale: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm f***ing pissed Gods: *shiver* (Why do I hear boss music-?)

On: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Raon: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? On: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Hong: …edible! Cale: *shivers in the distance*

Cale: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 billion gallons? Choi Han: *thinks carefully* If you stabbed me, you could just heal me with a potion, and then we could buy another big-a** villa somewhere Clopeh: *enthusiastic* You could stab me too, and then you'd have 20 billion! Choi Han: *pulls out his sword with a smile* …Good thinking

*Archie and Paseton sitting in jail together* Paseton: So, who should we call for help? Archie: …I'd call Cale, but I think I feel safer in jail

Rasheel: *sarcastic* How petty can you get? Mila: *smiling* I once edited historical documents to win an argument I was wrong about Rasheel: *scared* What the f-

Alberu: ...You know those things will kill you, right? Eruhaben: *pouring himself a glass of vodka* That's the point. Choi Han: *smoking 10 cigarettes at once* We're trying to speed up the process. Cale: *nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Witira: You have to apologize to Paseton Archie: …Fine. Archie: 'Unf*** you', or whatever

Cale: Looking left cause you don't treat me right Choi Han: Looking right because you left Raon: Looking up cause you let me down Alberu: Looking down cause you f***ed up White Star: *bleeding from having his arm ripped off* …What is wrong with you guys??

Alberu: *walks into his bedroom* …Hello, people who do not live here. Cale: Hey. Choi Han: Hello. Raon: Hi cookie prince! Hong: *chewing* Alberu: You know I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only, right? On: *shrugs* We were out of cookies

Cale: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than 'f***' Raon: Human, you poopy dumbo!! Cale: … Cale: …that works, I guess

Alberu: Instructor-nim, why do you always wear black? Choi Han: So that when someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is a valid response. Alberu: *thoughtfully* Hm. I should try that at the next nobles meeting

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Eruhaben* Eruhaben: *hairflips* Fool, are you blind? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived. Also, if you could drag comb through that hair you would be a 7 at most, everyone knows I'm a constant 10-

Raon: Human, you'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens - but it seems I made a mistake! Cale: *sighs* ...What did you do this time?

Deruth: You see, children, nothing in life is free- Lily: Love is free! Basen: Knowledge is free Violan: Artistic inspiration is free Cale: *smirks* Everything is free if you simply loot it

White Star: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Sheritt: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away. White Star: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.

(Cage remix) Cage: *drinking* I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Taylor: ...I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away? Cage: Death isn't real, and neither is God God of Death: *sobbing in the distance*

Deruth: Cale… just how many kids do you have? Cale: …Biologically, emotionally, or legally? Deruth: 0_0

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #humor #tcf humor #incorrect quotes #incorrect tcf #crack #tcf crack

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ejunkiet · 10 months

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Tending to a feisty werewolf's injuries

A break down of how the rest of that night went, as we all know that 'celebrating' didn't stop at kisses and slow touches, okay.

Under the cut as this is an unapologetically nsfw ramble, minors dni.

SO. has anyone written about Milo and SH that first night, going all the way on the couch?

Just after they heal him? Milo and his talk of celebrating... Apparently I have many thoughts on that...

Incl. Milo being mostly horizontal the whole time but convincing SH to sit on his face. As a treat.

And carrying around a condom in his wallet, as safe post-near death experience sex PLEASE

But also that kissing session on the couch getting deeper, and the moment they decide it's gonna go all the way and sneak their hands down to his jeans, he just catches their hands with a soft 'whoa, you sure?'

And they just take a minute to catch their breath and look at him, and he's all sweaty and flushed, his hair a mess, very kissable lips all swollen, and there's still blood on his mouth and down his chest, but he's holding their hands gently and looking at them like they're everything-

And yeah. YEAH.

So he's not bleeding out, but he's still sore? So he's not really moving from the couch. And they can ride him like that just fine, and they've been making a mess of him before this, kissing down his neck, his chest, sharp biting kisses.

And they've been grinding on his lap for the last ten minutes, and they can feel the effect they've been having on him, know he wants it as much as they do.

And his hands slip down, tugging at the waist of their fucking work pants, as he asks, 'please, let me touch you'

They climb off his lap, strip down as he kicks his jeans off and down, but when they go back to straddle his lap, shoves himself down the couch and tugs them up to his chest, their thighs around his neck, his hands on their thighs, squeezing as he asks if he can taste them-

And yeah. He gets them off with his talented fucking mouth, as he needs to prove that even down and out, he can still make them feel as good as they're making him feel.

And that's really fucking good.

And then when he's grinning up at them, all smug as they catch their breath, they grab his wallet and snag the condom they knew would be there on a hunch, and ask if they can ride him.

JUST WRECKING THE FURNITURE OKAY

They probably fall asleep together on the couch after, all tangled and messy, and it's gonna be hell to clean up, but neither of them care

SH uses his shower in the morning, he makes them an incredible fucking breakfast

Milo asks if he can take them out to dinner later, as of course he would, that boy is sold.

And that's it. That's how they start.

With a BANG heheheheh >:3

Look, I have too many thoughts about these two. Also, if Tumblr messes up the order of these bullet points, I will RIOT

#ej writes redacted #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted milo #aka an outline for a fic i may write one day #but not now ahahaha #the images are VIVID though #milo always feeling like he has a lot to prove #can't just lay down and take it without giving a little back #are they competitive in bed? yes #okay enough ej

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royaljestersfirst · 7 months

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Fizz & emotional integrity

this is the first of a series of character analysis posts i want to make about Fizz because i think that he’s a very rare representation of a character in great contact with his emotions and quite far in his trauma healing journey. this post turned out to be mostly about s2e6 bc i think it shows up well in conflict. i don't claim that Fizz is communicating in a perfectly healthy way (who does tbh!), but he is very genuine in his feelings and communication and i looove to see that. imo you can absolutely be an emotionally authentic bitch 💅✨

some ppl judged Fizz for being very rude to Blitz and i don't see why that's necessarily a bad thing. he thought that his childhood best friend actually resented him, wanted to hurt/kill him, was not interested in seeing him for 15 years, then crushed his gig and fucked off again. he has no reason to trust or be kind to Blitz, and it’s understandable that he’d want to vent his anger and protect his pride.

what touched me was how he reacted to Blitz saying that's not how things really went. even though he was just furious, he immediately unclenched his fists and paid attention. it shows that Fizz cares a lot about this relationship even after all this time, so he's ready to lower his defenses and try to listen.

he is still angry at the hurt he was caused, at this point he still thinks that Blitz left him after the accident. even then, after hearing that Blitz is remorseful, he deeply empathises. Fizz tries to get where blitz is coming from while not downplaying his own hurt.

without hiding his true feelings, he expresses how important Blitz was to him by saying that he wouldn't be so angry if he stayed by his side. that requires lots of emotional honesty and vulnerability, especially for a traumatized person, especially in conversation with the same person who hurt him.

he honestly says that he can't just forgive and forget everything. however, by talking about being okay now he shows that he may move past it. his words may also ease Blitz's guilt and self-loathing which Fizz empathized with earlier.

after this rollercoaster of emotions, he openly shows how much he appreciates his "former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend" (btw the fact that Ozz knows all that shows how much Fizz is communicating about his trauma&emotions with his partner which is sweet).

Fizz is a character who feels a lot and deeply. he is unapologetic about his anger but he also is not embarrassed to show how much he cares. he is ready to confront and process difficult emotions, listen and be vulnerable even when the conversation is hard.

he demonstrates great emotional integrity considering his childhood of conditional "love", physical&mental trauma, abandonment, abuse and exploitation. his ability to stay true to himself after all that speaks volumes about his resilience, his connection with his own emotions, the supportiveness of Ozz, the strength of his childhood bond with Blitz, and perhaps the professionalism of his therapist 😄

anyways what do you all think about his character? do you agree with my interpretation? i love this bitch and love to talk about him 💕

#i recognize that this post might be extremely biased lol. i've never written character analyses but i tried ehhhh #fizzarolli #helluva boss #my post #text #character analysis

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baconcolacan · 6 months

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SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING BUT I THOUGHT ABOUT THE OTHER MAIN 4 SHIPS TISKSKD

TomEdd is a very slow burn, but it has always been warm. Do you remember what it’s like to have a crush on someone you thought was very cool? You become friends and that warm feeling has always been constant when you’re together. It’s soft and gradual, it’s light touches and years of smiling at each other, you start to feel like you’re home.

EddMatt is a really Fun and Funny ship for me. It’s two main characters coming together in a crossover, except one is from a slice of life show and the other is from a fantasy. It’s a very high energy relationship, it’s exciting and bursting at the seams with ideas and passion. Have you ever had someone who’s basically your favorite caffeinated drink personified? They come into the room and suddenly your deep bone tiredness goes away like it was never there, and they smile at you and you feel as though you’re never going to get tired again.

TordMatt for me is a relationship that started off on the wrong foot. Their egos don’t match and they might have said or done somethings that rubbed the other the wrong way, but part of them holds some kind of respect for the other. I always thought that Tord thought Matt was so cool for being so unapologetically himself, that he could openly like himself when Tord seemed to always hate who he was. Matt on the other hand thinks the same except that Tord seemingly doesn’t care about what other people think of him, when Matt cares a whole lot. I think they could help each other heal. They’re the relationship that talks in whispers together in the dead of night, when everyone else is asleep, and they spend their restless night together, fingers laced, looking up at the ceiling, saying things they wouldn’t in the morning.

EddTord is the bestfriends to lovers to enemies to friends and MAYBE lovers ship. I always thought that they would fit a passionate doomed romance narrative. They start out so great, it’s love and passion and laughter, running off on adventures together, hands held tight, eyes on each other at all times. Then it’s tears and screamed words, betrayal and regret, history cast aside and hands reaching out to nothing. Then it’s quiet, a lingering look, words unsaid, unsteady peace and a longing to hold again. ‘Hey, do you remember when I smiled at you for the first time?’

#eddsworld headcanons #tomedd #eddtom #tordmatt #mattord #eddtord #tordedd #eddmatt #mattedd #YUHHH I LOVE BEING MULTISHIP #I get ship dynamics for every occassion and mood lmao #DID I MISS ANYONE???

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 1 year

Text

A Moment Changes Everything

Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader

Request: I had one in mind where reader and Eddie are about to face the bats with Dustin and they are dating and she's the Byers sister too but she decided to go to California to help the others and her and Eddie say goodbye and promise to see each other soon and she hears Eddie died but when she comes back they find out he's in the hospital alive and when he is healed and back at her house she cries and they comfort each other and when the entire gang decided to celebrate they go to the beach in California and they know Eddie is gonna propose and he foes om the beach with everyone and later they are together and make love and after that they talk about the future in bed? :)

18+ Only

“Shit,” muttered Eddie, grasping your hands like a vice in his large ones, so tight his rings were digging into your skin, but you didn’t care. “I hate this.”

“I know. Me too,” you said softly, blinking back the tears that had been threatening to fall since you’d made your decision yesterday and booked a flight to California. When your mom chose to move, you had begged her to let you finish your senior year, not wanting to leave your boyfriend and all your friends. You’d hoped it might actually be a normal year but you should have known better. “But Will is my brother, and he’s in trouble…again. And Jonathan and El…Eddie, I have to help them.”

“I know. I understand why but that doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Eddie replied, each word coming out choked with tears that hadn’t yet fallen but broke your heart just the same. “I can’t lose you, princess. I hate the thought of you going halfway across the country to face this thing without me.”

“You’re going to be facing this thing without me, too,” you countered. “Do you think I love the idea of you and Dustin facing those demon bats? Do you think I love the idea of Steve, Robin, and Nancy going into that house to face Vecna himself? I don’t. I hate it, but this is what we do. It’s what we’ve done ever since my brother disappeared. We step up, we look out for each other, and we kick evil’s ass.”

A harsh laugh rose up from Eddie as he shook his head, “This shit is insane. I still can’t believe there is a whole other dimension with monsters and bad shit. I can’t believe that you’ve been fighting this shit for three years. When you told me…Will, the mall fire…I mean, this is Hawkins. Nothing happens in this shithole.”

“Well, this is happening,” you stated. “Eddie, we have to do this. We have to take down Vecna so he can’t hurt anyone else and we have to clear your name.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed,eyes dropping to the ground, “fat chance there. This whole town has already convicted me. I’m a devil worshiping freak, remember?”

“Hey,” you protested, taking his chin in your hand and lifting his eyes to yours. Those soft pools the color of the Earth peeked at you through his mess of hair, so sad, so full of anguish, that it almost caused you to change your mind and your plan. But no, you had to do this. When Will called, you couldn’t tell him no. Your little brother needed you, your mom was in Alaska for a work conference, and you weren’t letting him face the bastard who’d been tormenting him for years without you. “Eddie, you are a freak. You’re my freak and I adore you. You are unapologetically you and I love that about you. You don’t walk around, pretending to be something, pretending to fit into some tidy little box, just to make people happy. Fuck all these townies. Who cares what they think. We are going to clear you name and then you and I are going to start our lives.”

“Promise?” he asked, hands coming to your hips and pulling you against him. “Promise that you’re coming home? Promise that you’ll always be my girl?”

“I promise,” you assured him, the easiest promise you’d ever made. “There is no one but you. I am coming home to you when this is all over. Promise me that you’ll be careful and you’ll make it out of this thing in one piece, okay? No crazy hero antics.”

“Princess, look at me,” Eddie said with a small smile. “I am no hero.”

“You’re my hero,” you argued, pulling down the neck of your shirt to show the angry red bite mark you still had. “If you hadn’t been there with that oar, this could have gone a whole lot differently. Don’t sell yourself short, Munson. You dove right into that lake with the rest of us. You’re brave. You just don’t like people to know it.”

“I only dove in because you did, you asshole,” he snorted. “I couldn’t let you swim off to save Steve and die or something.”

“But that’s my point. You could have stayed in the boat and let us handle it, but you didn’t. You dove in because someone you care about was in trouble.”

“No,” he said slowly, his tongue darting out to run along his bottom lip, back and forth, back and forth, just like it always did when he was deep in thought or on edge. “I dove in because…” Eddie paused, meeting your eyes with his own, “someone I love was in trouble.”

Your breath caught at his words. Had he really just said that? You and Eddie had been dating for a year now and you’d known how you felt about him six months ago but had been terrified to be the first to say it. What if it scared him away? But if finding out the Upside Down exists, that the mall fire was actually a giant body part goo monster, and that you’ve battled misshapen dogs with flowers for faces hadn’t scared him away, then nothing could, right?

“You love me?” you asked hesitantly, needing verification that you’d heard what you’d thought you’d heard.

“Yeah, I do,” Eddie nodded, swallowing so hard you could see his Adam’s apple bob with the force. “Look, you don’t have to say it back. I just needed to tell you before…you know.” There went that tongue again. “Anyway, I’m not just saying it because we could die. I mean, I am, but I mean it. I really fucking mean it, sweetheart. I’ve loved you from the moment you hit my van in the school parking lot. I was so pissed and then you stepped out of the car and it was like…bam, heart gone. I just, I didn’t want to scare you off by being too aggressive. I mean, who thought love at first sight was real, right? Like, that’s some bullshit that…”

“Eddie,” you said, cutting off his nervous rambling, taking his face in your hands. “I love you too.”

“Really?” he asked tentatively, one side of his mouth curving into a hopeful smile. “You’re not saying that because I said it?”

“No, you doofus,” you laughed. “I love you. So, you have to stay alive, okay? This isn’t some dumbass movie where they finally admit their feelings and then the worst happens. I want my future with you. So, you better be careful.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded. “This isn’t goodbye. This is see you soon.”

Then he pulled you in, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that felt very much like a goodbye. You pushed the thought away, telling yourself it was going to be fine. You’d fought these monsters before and you always won. You tried not to think about those who didn’t make it out because that wasn’t going to happen this time. Everything was going to be okay.

____________________________________________________________

“Is it over?” you asked, your eyes darting to your brother, Jonathan’s, as El clung to Mike, soaked from the sensory deprivation bath you’d made her in the deep freezer.

“No idea,” he admitted, eyes wide, shaking his head.

Mike helped El climb out of the freezer and you grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around the shivering girl’s shoulders. She looked so small and frail in this moment but you knew she was anything but. This girl was a force, a damn superhero. You knew when you’d spoken to Jonathan a few days ago that El was your best shot at defeating this bastard once and for all. You just hoped she’d succeeded, having no idea what had happened in her mind fight with Vecna.

“Man, that was the craziest shit I have ever seen,” Argyle announced. “You were all shaking and the lights were flickering. Did you kick his ass? Is he gone?”

El’s eyes met yours and you knew something had gone wrong, something had gone horribly wrong. Her eyes should have shown relief, a sense of victory, but all you saw was despair, pain, and regret. Dropping to your knees in front of you, you took El’s hands, warming them with your own, needing to know what she knew.

“El…what happened?”

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at each of you in turn, “I…he’s weak, but he’s not gone. Max…he got Max before I could stop him. I let him overpower me and Max is really hurt. I don’t know if she’s okay.” El paused, pressing her lips together, and then she was holding your hands, she was comforting you instead of the other way around and it felt like ice water had been poured down your spine. “I am so sorry. I saw…everything he was doing. He showed me all our friends, the way he was hurting them. Most of them got out okay but Eddie…” She stopped, one hand coming to cup your cheek. “I am so sorry. Eddie didn’t make it. He…”

You snatched your hands from her, falling backward onto your butt, shaking your head to clear away the words she’d just spoken. No. You couldn’t believe it. You wouldn’t believe it. Eddie couldn’t be gone. It wasn’t possible. He’d promised he’d see you again. You’d promised. You and him were supposed to graduate and start your life together. He couldn’t be gone.

“No…no…” you mumbled over and over.

“He fought so hard. He helped save the others. He was a hero but the bats…there were too many and he…”

“Stop!” you screamed, covering your ears with your hands. “Shut up! Just stop!”

“Hey,” Jonathan said softly, kneeling next to you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Don’t touch me! No! You say friends don’t lie but you’re lying!” you yelled and then a sound clawed its way up from your throat, a desperate scream that tore from you. Your body was ripping apart, pieces of you being shred away and you couldn’t do this. You couldn’t be here with these people anymore. These people who couldn’t understand, would never understand, who barely even knew him.

“I am so sorry, but just try to take some deep breaths and calm down,” Will pleaded, dropping to your other side.

The world was closing in on you. You grasped at your shirt, unable to breathe, a noose tightening around your neck, your heart in a vice that was squeezing until it was fracturing into tiny pieces. You leapt up from the floor and ran from the pizza place, having no idea where you were going, not even caring, just knowing you had to get away. You had to get away from those words.

___________________________________________________________

You sat in silence in the back of the Surfer Boy Pizza van as the others talked. It had been a long road trip from California to Indiana but everyone was desperate to get home and see the faces of those they loved, to prove to themselves that they were alright. You wanted that too but it felt like a punch to the gut every single time you remembered that the face you ached to see the most wouldn’t be there.

You had been driving straight through, Jonathan and Argyle taking turns napping in the back of the van. They hadn’t asked you to drive, which was fine with you. You weren’t sure you could focus enough to get everyone there safe. Mike had tried calling every time you had stopped for restroom breaks or food but it was always a busy signal, like the lines were down. If El’s visions were correct, Hawkins was in bad shape.

Jonathan and Will had taken turns trying to talk to you but you simply kept your gaze focused out the window. You knew your brothers meant well. They didn’t want to see you hurting. They only wanted to make you feel better but there was nothing anyone could do, nothing anyone could say. Your grief was a gaping chasm, swallowing you whole and no one could stop it.

You closed your eyes, those warm brown eyes, the color of the Earth that nurtures new life, the color of a warm cup of soothing tea, the color of melted chocolate, instantly popping into your vision. You squeezed your eyes tighter, swallowing down the lump of tears that were lodging in your throat. How could you face another sunrise knowing you wouldn’t see his face? How could you face another sunset knowing his arms wouldn’t be there to hold you while you slept? You couldn’t. This wasn’t life…this was mere existence.

“Holy shit,” you heard Jonathan say from the driver’s seat.

Slowly opening your eyes, you took in the sight of car after car heading in the opposite direction, away from Hawkins, away from the hell on Earth that this place had become. Jonathan turned into town and your jaw dropped, eyes widening, a knot forming in your gut at the sight of your home. The library was destroyed, appearing as if a flaming sword had cleaved it in two. The streets were rubble, power lines down, emergency crews blocking off everything. You saw people standing in line outside of the school, looking for shelter. It was a national disaster of epic proportions and no one knew the real reason why.

“Damn…this place is crispy fried,” Argyle commented, turning his head to take in the sights.

Jonathan headed toward the Wheeler’s, where everyone usually congregated in the hopes your friends would be there. As a familiar head of curly hair came into view, a small sob erupted from within you. Dustin had always been your favorite of Will’s friends and he was the whole reason you and Eddie had become a couple. Jonathan laid on the horn, the now familiar tune playing and catching everyone’s attention.

They all turned, identical looks of confusion on their faces. Until you parked and started to climb out. Then those confused faces became relieved faces, smiles breaking out. The Hawkins crew raced forward, everyone embracing each other in relief. You stood back by the van, unsure what to do with yourself. You were so happy to see so many of them were okay but unable to join in.

Dustin glanced over Mike’s shoulder to you, his brow furrowing in concern. He walked over, pulling you into an embrace and all those tears you’d been fighting back came pouring out. He had to be just as brokenhearted as you were, having loved Eddie almost, if not just as much as you did.

“Whoa, hey, Mike said you guys are all okay,” Dustin said softly, his hand rubbing your back gently. “Did something else happen?”

“El…Eddie…she saw…bats…” you choked, incapable of getting completely thoughts out. “I can’t…oh god…Dustin…”

His hands gripped your shoulders, holding you at arm’s length, “Hey, it’s okay. I mean, yeah, he did get attacked by bats in the Upside Down but he…” Dustin paused. “Shit, you don’t know…”

___________________________________________________________

You paused outside the hospital room, placing your hand on the wall for support. You’d just spent the last two days thinking he was gone. When Dustin told you that he’d survived, your heart had swelled with joy and then your entire body deflated with a relief that had your knees buckling, hitting the ground. Dustin said he was alive but in pretty bad shape and you had no idea what that meant. You tried to mentally prepare yourself for what you were about to see but how could you prepare yourself when you had no idea what to expect?

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dustin assured you, taking your hand in his own. “I’m going to be with you the whole time, okay?”

You nodded, inhaling through your nose and slowly releasing it through your lips. The two of you passed through the doorway and an animalist keening rose from within you at the sight before you. Dustin wrapped his arm around your waist, helping to steady you as he guided you toward the bed.

“I know. It looks bad. He…he hasn’t woken up yet,” Dustin said softly, his voice choked with emotion. “But he’s Eddie. He’s stubborn as hell. He’s going to pull through this. I know he is.”

The words would not come. You couldn’t respond as you took in the sight of the man you loved more than anything in the world laying in the bed in front of you. His neck, shoulder, torso, and legs were covered in bandages. He was hooked up to a ventilator to help him breathe.

“He was so damn brave. I mean stupid as shit, but brave. He cut the sheet and moved the mattress so I couldn’t follow him. He decided to be bait for the bats to give the others more time. I tried to get to him. I jumped through the gate but…I fell and I hurt myself and I just wasn’t fast enough. By the time I got there, Jesus, I thought he was a goner. I’m so sorry I couldn’t get there in time.”

You wrapped your arm around the sweet boy’s shoulders, pulling him into your side, “No, Dustin. You can’t blame yourself. Eddie made a choice and you…jumping through that gate, going after him like that, you were so brave too. Don’t ever think anything different. If you guys hadn’t gone through, none of us might be standing here right now.”

“Yeah, but now Eddie is in this hospital and we don’t know if he’s even going to be okay. Was it even worth it?”

“Of course it was,” you assured him. “Eddie…it’s awful, but so many people would have lost their lives if we hadn’t done what we did. It was the only option. None of us could have lived with ourselves if we had let Vecna win.”

Dustin nodded and you slowly released him, going to sit on the edge of Eddie’s bed. Your finger gently traced along his nose, his cheekbones, those beautifully full lips. He had to be okay. He just had to be. You already thought you’d lost him once. The world could not be so cruel as to make you lose him twice. It just couldn’t.

“Eddie, it’s me,” you whispered, your words wracked with sobs. “I’m here, baby. You were so damn brave. I am so fucking mad at you for it but you’re my hero. We won, baby. We won and we never could have done it without you. But I need you to wake up now, okay? I need you to open those sweet brown eyes for me because we have so much still to do together. You promised me, remember? You promised you’d come back and we would start our lives together. I won’t let you out of it. You have to come back to me.”

Dustin’s hand landed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly as you both looked at your favorite person in the world, willing him to wake up. All the monsters, all the fighting, all the bullshit and for what? For you to lose the one person you couldn’t live without? Hadn’t your group lost enough over the last few years? Hadn’t you been through enough pain, enough trauma, for ten lifetimes? This wasn’t fair. This would never be fair. But then that was life, wasn’t it? It kicked you when you were down and it didn’t care how badly it tore you up. Barb, Bob, Billy…it was too much. You couldn’t survive if you lost Eddie too.

“Hey, maybe we should go so you can get some rest,” offered Dustin after what felt like hours of the two of you just anxiously watching Eddie for any change. “You’ve been through hell and you guys drove all the way here from California.”

“No,” you asserted, shaking your head. “No. I am not going anywhere until I know if he’s okay. I’m not leaving him again.”

“Okay, I just…”

Dustin gasped and you followed his line of sight to Eddie. His eyes were blinking open. Your heart seized in your chest as you grasped his hand.

“Eddie?” you asked hopefully.

“Hey princess,” he murmured. “I promised you I’d come back, didn’t I?”

____________________________________________________________

“Seriously guys, I can walk myself,” grumbled Eddie, slung between Steve and Dustin as they half carried him into the house.

After three weeks in the hospital, he’d finally been released. You’d spent every single day by his side. He wasn’t completely healed. Eddie was going to need some time but he was definitely better, the bites having scarred over, the skin around them tough and jagged. You’d caught glimpses of them here and there but Eddie kept insisting that you leave the room when the nurse came in to change his dressings.

“No can do, man,” Steve stated, waiting for you to open the door before helping him over to the couch and gently easing him back onto it. “The doctor said for you to take it easy.”

“Yeah. Take it easy, not have The Hair and Dusty Bun carry me around everywhere like I’m some damn invalid,” he huffed, glaring at the two guys standing in front of him. “My wounds are all healed. Yeah, I’m a little slow still but I can walk around on my own.”

“Maybe, but…look, you saved our asses down there,” Steve explained. “You saved my ass. You’ve been so hard on yourself for running after Chrissy but anyone would have done the same thing in your situation. And there was nothing you could have done for her. But when it came time, you stepped up. You’re a goddamn hero, man. You risked your life to help the rest of us without a second thought.”

Eddie swallowed hard before his eyes met Steve’s, “Thanks man, but I didn’t do anything the rest of you wouldn’t have done.”

“Maybe, but you still did it. You told me when you see danger you turn heel and run but that’s not what you did. Yeah, you ran. You ran right into the danger.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, seriously. I didn’t do anything really except be a midnight snack for a bunch of bloodsuckers,” muttered Eddie, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. You could see how tired he was just from the ordeal of getting discharged and home and Dustin picked up on it as well.

“Alright, how about we go?” Dustin offered, giving Steve a look to let him know it was time to let Eddie relax. “You enjoy getting to be home and get some rest. We’ll check in tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, man, fine.”

You walked Dustin and Steve to the door, thanking them both for all their help. Eddie’s room had been filled with a constant procession of friends coming and going. Uncle Wayne had spent every minute off work sitting with you by Eddie’s side, so relieved to see his nephew with his eyes open, to hear the doctors say he was going to come through okay.

Closing the door behind them, you made your back to Eddie, sitting on the couch next to him, curling your legs up under you. You propped your arm on the back of the couch, staring at him, something you found yourself doing a lot these past few weeks. It was like your eyes had to verify that he was really there, he was really okay, and this wasn’t all some fever dream you'd concocted out of desperation.

“Sweetheart, why are you staring at me?” Eddie asked, his head tilted back, eyes closed, yet still somehow knowing.

“I just…I need to…I don’t know…I’m sorry…” you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut, willing the tears to stay away. You’d done so well keeping them under control these last few weeks but now they were threatening to pour from you as everything hit you all at once.

“Whoa,” Eddie said, lifting his head to look at you in concern. “What is it, princess? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry. I’m being stupid.” You stood up, needing to do something to keep you busy so you wouldn’t fall apart in front of him. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? I can make you a sandwich or some eggs or…”

“Hey.” He reached for your hand, pulling you down into his lap. Those large hands cupped your face, bare of rings as they had to be removed at the hospital. “I’m good, okay? You’re not being stupid. You’re the smartest person I know…well, besides maybe Henderson but he makes all of us look like morons. Tell me why you’re so upset.”

“I thought I lost you,” you choked out. “El saw you. Vecna showed her and she told me you were gone. I spent two days thinking you were gone. It was…” You shook your head, closing your eyes.

Eddie pulled you into his chest, his arms coming around you tightly and you melted against him, needing the comfort that only his body could provide. Your own arms wound around him, crushing your bodies together, unable to get close enough and then you felt it. His body shaking beneath you as sobs took him over. The two of you sat like that, holding each other, crying, releasing all the fear and pain together.

“I thought I was gone too,” he admitted. “Jesus Christ. Your face…” Pulling back, he took your face in his hands again. “This face was the last thing I thought about before everything went dark. All I could think was that I was never going to see this beautiful face again. I was never going to kiss those lips again. I wasn’t going to get to spend the rest of my life with you and I wasn’t going to keep my promise. I…baby, I am so sorry. I wanted to keep my promise.”

“And you did,” you told him, “you’re here. You came back to me. I just…I don’t know how I would survive without you. It was like this black hole of nothingness when I thought. I just couldn’t…I…”

Then you were pressing kisses all over his face, kisses that were full of need and love and reassurance. Reassurance that he was here, that you were together, that everything was going to be okay.

“You’re still mine,” you said softly, pressing your lips to his. “You’re always mine.”

“Always,” Eddie agreed, his lips meeting yours with the same intense need but then he let out a yelp of pain and you darted off of him. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay…damn…” He held his side gently, grimacing.

“Shit, I am so sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. I want you, princess. I want you so bad but I don’t think I’m up for it yet.”

“That’s okay.” You climbed back onto the couch, next to him, gently easing his head down against your chest. “We don’t have to rush anything. I am just happy to have you home with me. I am just happy to have you here.”

“Hey, if it means I get to spend the next few days right here, with my face pressed against your boobs, I am more than happy.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes, “Leave it to you to ruin the sweet moment.”

___________________________________________________________

“This was the perfect idea,” Robin exclaimed, holding her arms out to her side as she spun in the sand. “I needed this. Sun, sand, ocean…we all deserve this after all the shit we’ve dealt with this past couple of years.”

“I agree,” Steve added. “We have more than earned a relaxing vacation and some fun in the sun.”

You closed your eyes, soaking in the warmth of the sun as it enveloped your body like a warm hug. All of you had decided that you needed a break from the trauma and the horror that had become your life. Argyle had recommended that you all head out to California to visit him for a week or two and you’d jumped at the chance. Between Eddie’s van and Steve’s car, you had all made it and standing here, staring out at the ocean, at all the people you loved laughing and splashing and having fun, you didn’t think there could be a more perfect moment than this.

“Hey there beautiful.” Two arms slid around your waist from behind and you melted against him, so very grateful for the ability to do so, remembering how close you’d come to losing the chance to ever be in his arms again. Eddie’s lips grazed your jaw before he propped his chin on your shoulder.

“Are you heading into the ocean?” you asked, laughing as you watched Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will playing a game of chicken in the waves.

“Me? Nope. Absolutely not.”

You spun in his arms, lopping yours around his neck. You knew exactly why he was so against going in the water as he stood there, in the warm California sun, in jeans and his three quarter sleeve Hellfire tee. Eddie had been self conscious ever since the attack. His torso, arms, neck, and legs were covered in scars, a road map to the battle he’d won.

The first time you tried to be intimate, he hesitated, which was so unlike Eddie who jumped at any opportunity to get you naked. You’d worried that his feelings for you had changed in some way with everything the two of you had been through. He had the all clear from the doctor, he was feeling way better, and you couldn’t understand why he wasn’t jumping at the chance for sex. It was so out of character for your horndog boyfriend. You’d quickly pulled your shirt over your head, embarrassed and mortified that he was turning you down.

Things were awkward for a couple weeks after that. He hesitated to touch you. He tensed up whenever you touched him. Finally, you exploded, screaming that if he wanted to break up with you then he needed to just say it because you couldn’t keep walking around just waiting for him to shatter you into pieces.

Eddie had been shocked and immediately began backpedaling and apologizing, assuring you that was the last thing he wanted. It took a lot of urging and demanding on your part, but he finally told you that he was scared for you to see him because he looked like a monster now. He shattered your heart anyway with his words but for an entirely different reason. You couldn’t believe that he would think your love for him was so shallow that something like scars would matter to you and you told him so. You told him those scars were badges of courage and he should never be ashamed of them. Eddie had gotten past it with you, but he still didn’t like anyone else to see and you decided this perfect day on the beach was not the time to push it.

“Okay,” you replied, pressing your lips to his, “then what would you like to do?”

“I know exactly what I would like to do.”

“Oh yeah?” you asked, assuming you knew where this was going.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat and his tongue darted out, running back and forth across the corner of his mouth.

“Eddie, are you okay?” you asked and then your eyes went wide as you realized that all of your friends had gathered around you in a circle. “Okay. What the hell is going on?”

“Princess, you asked me not too long ago if I wanted to end things with you,” Eddie began and your heart stuttered in your chest, wondering where this was going. He wouldn’t possibly break up with you in front of everybody, would he? “I told you that was the last thing I wanted and it’s true. I don’t…Jesus, I can’t ever be without you. You are absolutely everything to me. I almost lost you because of…well, you know. Anyway, I don’t ever want to lose you. I don’t ever want to be without you. I,uhh…fuck. I’m so bad at this shit.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a silver ring with a small green gemstone in the center and your eyebrows creased in confusion until he dropped to the sand on one knee.

“Oh shit…oh god…” you mumbled, staring at him in disbelief.

“Sweetheart, I love you so much. Like, I love you more than I have ever loved anything. I might love you more than anyone has ever loved anything. I know we’re young but I know I want you, forever. Will you marry me?”

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared down into his hopeful eyes, gazing up at yours. Your friend stood silent, still as statues as they waited for your answer. Tears filled your eyes and all you could do was nod, incapable of speaking.

“Yes?” asked Eddie hesitantly.

“Yes!” you shrieked, lunging and knocking him back onto the sand. Falling on top of him, you peppered his face with kisses and he laughed. “Yes! I love you so much. I want you forever. Yes I’ll marry you.”

All your friends cheered, Dustin the loudest of them all, screaming and jumping in the sand. But you couldn’t hear any of it because all you were focused on was the feel of Eddie’s lips on yours and the knowledge that he was going to be yours forever.

____________________________________________________________

“My future wife,” Eddie murmured against your skin, lips trailing over your stomach, his fingers moving your shirt higher and higher. “My bride.” Hot, wet kisses across your breasts, his tongue leaving a blazing wet trail over your nipples as he flicked his tongue over them before pulling them between his lips, one and then the other. “Mrs. Munson…shit, I could get used to that.”

“Mmm, me too,” you purred, lost in the feel of his lips exploring every inch of skin as his fingers exposed it. Now he was moving over your shoulder, down your arm, over your hip, hands pulling your panties down as those lips moved along your pubic bone.

“Mine,” he growled, his tongue licking a strip from your entrance up to your clit. “Forever mine now.”

“Always yours,” you gasped, fingers tangling in his waves, pressing yourself against him. His tongue teased your entrance, his nose running over your clit, the combined sensation had you writhing, rolling yourself into him. “Only yours…”

“That’s right,” he rumbled, his tongue running over the length of you before pulling your clit between his lips. “Fuck princess. I am the luckiest bastard in the world.”

You felt like you were the luckiest person in the world as he pressed his middle finger into you, curling, searching, until it found exactly what it was looking for, causing you to cry his name as your hips bucked up off the bed. Eddie’s other hand pressed against your stomach, holding you down on the bed as his tongue rolled around your clit. He added another finger and you moaned, pressing your hips down against his hand as you raced quickly toward release.

“Eddie, don’t stop. Oh Jesus, baby, yes…right there,” you managed, gasping between each word, your body completely outside of your control as his fingers and tongue worked you expertly.

He groaned in appreciation, the vibrations sending you over the edge. Your body trembled but he never let up, working you through the waves of pleasure that sent you helplessly out to sea, shaking, eyes rolling back, helpless whimpers falling from your lips.

Eddie kissed his way back up your body, eyes holding yours as he grabbed a condom, sliding it over his length. He guided himself to your entrance with one hand, the other cradling the back of your neck. He pushed into you slowly until he bottomed out within you as he pressed his lips to yours and you squeaked in pleasure at the feel of your bodies joining together.

“I love you so goddamn much,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours, his body still, just relishing the feel of being completely surrounded by you. “I can’t wait to start my life with you.”

“Me too,” you sighed, eyes rolling back as he slowly began to rock his hips, pulling out until just the tip of him remained and then pressing back into you in long, slow thrusts. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life.”

Eddie’s arms came around you, cradling you to him as your bodies moved together. You rocked your hips forward as he did, meeting his thrusts each time, until you both couldn’t take the slow pace anymore. He buried his face against your neck as he plunged into you more frantically, the bed rocking along with the two of you.

“Fuck sweetheart, I’m close,” he growled against your ear.

“Come for me baby,” you urged, hands gripping his ass, rocking against him with an urgent need.

“Oh shit!” he cried out, bucking against you and then stilling as he reached his own climax. His body shuddered above you, pitiful moans rumbling out of him, and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him to you until it subsided. “Jesus…” he muttered, slowly pulling from you, removing the condom and tossing it in the trash can before collapsing next to you, resting his head on your chest.

“I can’t believe we get to do that for the rest of our lives,” you sighed happily, your hand running gently over his hair.

“Every damn day,” he stated, nipping playfully at your shoulder. “Even when we’re old. I am making you mine every single day for the rest of our forever.”

“Sounds like bliss. So…” Eddie stilled, looking up at you, his eyebrows raised curiously. “I know you proposed and everything but did you plan on us having a long engagement? I mean, we are young so I would understand.”

“Shit, no,” he laughed, propping himself on his elbow, trailing the back of his hand down between your breasts and along your stomach. “I want to marry you as soon as possible but I know it will probably take you a while to plan a big wedding.”

“Big?” you asked, shaking your head. “No. I don’t need anything big. I just want to marry you. I don’t want to go into debt to do it. I would marry you in a damn shack.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, princess, I am not marrying you in a shack.”

“Okay. What about the beach?” “You mean the lake at home?” he asked, wrinkling his nose.

“No…” you said slowly. “What about the beach here in California?”

“You want to come back here?”

“No. I was thinking…what if we got married on this trip?”

Eddie’s brow furrowed further, “Isn’t that kind of fast? I mean, don’t

you need a dress and flowers and shit?”

“No. All I need is you. I mean, all our friends are here with us. We’re on a beach in California. Can you think of a more perfect place?”

“No. I guess not. But princess, what about when we get home? I don’t even have a job. Hawkins gave me a diploma just to cover their own asses after the whole town accused me of a murder I didn’t commit. I mean…”

You took his face in your hands, “We’ll figure all of that out. None of that matters. The rest will fall into place. All we need is us.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Eddie, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life but if you’re not, then we can wait a while.”

“Sweetheart, I would marry you this very second if that’s what you want,” Eddie replied, his hands taking yours, thumbs running over the backs. “When I think about the future, the only thing I am sure about is that I want you in it.”

“Me too. So, let’s do this and then figure out the rest of it together.”

He smiled, his lips finding yours in a sweet, gentle kiss, “Alright. Let’s do this. Let’s get married.”

“I can’t wait to make you mine.”

“Darling, I’m already yours,” he grinned, pulling you down to the bed again in a kiss that held all the promise of tomorrow and every day after that.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #stranger things eddie #eddie the banished #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #smut requests #request #eddie munson x you

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somberjoon · 10 days

Text

METANOIA [10]

✩ pairing: wolf hybrid nj x cheetah hybrid reader (f) - eventual ot7 x reader

✩ genre: soul-searching , romance🔞 , found-family , healing , angst , happy ending

✩ word count: 6.1k

✩ chapter warnings: uncertainty in behavior and emotions , anxiety , crying and loss of a grasp on what to do , SA without major details !! Please look out for * at the start and beginning of the conversation she has with Namjoon. It is not detailed in a way that would tell exactly what he does, but it's more of a panicked description of what she felt. Lots of mentions of suffocating feelings and her skin being touched and hurt and feeling gross, but nothing more than that. Please go into this understanding that this conversation with nj is put in a way that I resonate with / would prefer in my experience, so it obviously won't be preferred by everyone! Please take care of your mental health, and skip that section if you are not up to reading of these themes. Blood mentioned, knife and stabbing mentioned but not detailed.

✩ summary: She doesn't know. There is so much about her and her cheetah that she hasn't had the privilege to understand. Unknown backgrounds and unknown emotions clash with feelings of want- hopes of being herself unapologetically. Namjoon seems to be someone that can help her- but can the rest of his pack truly be what she has wanted and needed?

✩ cover: me

ch.1 , ch.2 , ch.3 , ch.4 , ch.5 , ch.6 , ch.7 , ch.8 , ch.9 , ch.10 ...

Y/N

To wake up refreshed, warm, and content seems totally cliche. It’s unreal and shouldn’t be Y/N’s reality after everything she’s been worrying about. She faces the window where the early morning sun is rising to greet her. She remembers the night before, turning in the bed to find Taehyung in the same spot he was before, but this time his head is propped up and sniffing towards the door. She must’ve awoken to something outside her door if Taehyung is also paying attention to it.

“What is it?” She asks, her voice still groggy from not being used. One of his low energy ‘chuffs’ tells her exactly what she needs to know, already recognizing how he feels about Namjoon in her space.

“Is it only him in the house?” His head lifts to give an too-human head shake that takes her aback only slightly.

“Who else?” She asks, wondering how he’ll respond. Taehyung stretches towards her nose first. The light touch of his snout digs into her stomach, his head lying atop her lap to make sure she understands. Her stomach. Food?

“Seokjin?” Another ‘chuff’ leaves him and closes his eyes to try and push himself into her lap farther. She sits up and crosses her legs to accommodate the weight he pushes onto her. She can’t help but smile at the sweet gestures of his cheetah. He wants her to scratch here and there, which she does with no issue. It doesn’t take long for a loud purr to rumble through him and into her own skin where he lies. A light knock at the door doesn’t bother Taehyung, so she waits for a voice.

“Y/N?” Namjoon. She pulls herself out from under Taehyung’s weight, earning a disappointed chuff as he sprawls out in the now empty space. She slips on her slippers and hurries to unlock the door to find a tired Namjoon still in his PJs.

“Hey. Sorry, was I loud?”

“No, not at all, just wanted to make sure Taehyung wasn’t bugging you.” He leans in to look at Taehyung and Y/N only hears that same annoyed chuff. She lets a puff of a laugh out at him.

“He’s fine.” She assures, staring far too long at his soft morning features. It should be odd seeing him in this new way, but all she feels is content mush. He looks well-rested and carefree. Safe- just as she felt last night. She doesn’t care to control her dopey smile aimed up at him.

“That’s good.” He looks down at her with his own soft smile, “You want some breakfast? Seokjin and I are the only ones here at the moment.”

“Yeah, are you-?”

“I’m gonna eat right now as well.” He answers with a nod. “Let’s hurry before it gets cold.”

The house outside of the room she slept in smells wonderful. It always seems to- whether it’s from scented candles or colognes and clean home, or just the lingering scent of every homey meal. She’s hesitant to step into the kitchen with her bruises and scratches so on display, but she makes an effort to stay in stride with Namjoon, placing herself behind him slightly just so they’re not the first thing Seokjin notices. Luckily, she rounds the kitchen island and sets down on one of the stools next to Namjoon without Seokjin turning around.

“Good morning.” Seokjin greets them, still chopping away at something Y/N can’t see.

“Good morning.” The two say at the same time, causing them to share an intense look for just a moment. They melt into matching smiles that Seokjin turns to find.

“A sleepy pup and a sleepy cub- my favorite customers.” Seokjin pokes at them, setting matching bowls in front of each of them. “Chicken porridge, lean meats for Y/N’s stomach and extra of it for strength.” He finalizes with a smile, obviously proud of himself. He should be proud, it smells delicious, and the green onions sprinkled on top make the presentation look so pretty.

“Thank you, Seokjin.” Y/N shyly thanks. Unlike last time, Y/N is ready to dig in. It must be how good Seokjin’s food always is- or maybe she realizes it’s because she actually feels safe in their home, at least in the presence of the three at home at the moment. She takes a few hungry bites before saying anything, content with filling her desires of just eating in comfortable silence.

“It’s very good.” She hums, looking up at a content Seokjin. He looks even more satisfied, seemingly only waiting for her opinion to continue his morning. He rounds the corner of the Island, greeting Namjoon with silent gestures that she decides to give them complete privacy for- focusing only on her food. Seokjin leaves after that, mumbling something about Jungkook and giving Y/N a little wave.

“Did you sleep well?” Namjoon asks after a few moments of eating in silence.

“Really well. I don’t even think I dreamed. It was- peaceful.” Y/N admits now that they’re alone.

“I’m glad to hear that. I know Taehyung doesn’t take his presence in your room lightly. He was mostly there to guard you more than anything. He can sense it more in his cheetah form, like smelling out your emotions.” Namjoon explains.

Her thoughts get the best of her- still set on wanting and yearning to meet her cheetah.

“Is it like that for all animals, or just him so far?”

“Do I think you’ll be able to do it, you mean? No clue. But, all of us have our own little thing in our animal forms. Taehyung can sense when we feel certain ways, without us wanting to admit it. Seokjin somehow knows when something bad happens, his fox always waiting patiently and then- poof, someone cuts themself on accident or sprains their ankle on the treadmill and he’s right there.”

“Wow.” She can’t help but listen in awe.

“Hoseok’s tiger is a guardian, as well as my wolf- but I’m a lot more…active.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It’s the reason I wouldn’t want to shift for a while if you decide to stay with us, at least not if you’re uncomfortable with what I do. I just get really- protective. Unnecessarily protective. I’ll want to groom and nag and be glued to anyone I feel needs it most. He would definitely pick you at the moment, and it would be more overwhelming than anything.”

“That’s very sweet, though. That they have you two in the pack as protection, I bet it makes everyone feel safe.” Y/N tries her best to make their protectiveness be a positive to him, not an overbearing thing he thinks it may be.

“I hope so.” His smile is aimed at her but she feels as though he’s thinking about his pack, not including her at all.

“Anyways,” he continues. “Yoongi is also protective but his panther is a lot more…cuddly.”

“Really?” It’s a little surprising having his personality a contrasting thing despite Namjoon saying he’s not the talkative type. She can’t say she’s any different though, more set on touch and active attention rather than talking all the time. Maybe she can become closer to him.

“Oh yeah, he’s like that in human form too though.” He gives her a smirk before continuing. “Jimin is very active in his wolf form, he wants to get everyone into trouble and be a pest honestly. But, he knows how to have fun, even if it is overbearing sometimes, he’s not pushy- he’s just…wanting. He wants to do so many things and he’ll drag anyone along to join him. Finally, Jungkook. He’s actually not one that has displayed anything major. He’s still trying to get used to everything, but he’s a lot more confident in his bunny form. He’ll not speak all day but the second he’s a bunny he’s all over you, wanting the attention he didn’t want in human form. That’s normal by the way.” Y/N turns to give him a questioning look.

“The confidence in your animal form. You’ll find that whatever you don’t allow yourself to do in human form, your animal form will absolutely get what it wants if the other is okay with it. It’s normal and shouldn’t be anything to be embarrassed about.”

She understands him and feels as though there is something he’s not specifically saying. But he is saying something. Something she can’t quite pinpoint, though.

“I would never judge. Taehyung was really sweet, and was taking care of me. It felt…nice.” She admits. “Really nice. It’s all really nice. It feels too good to be true.”

Namjoon seems to hold his breath at the statement, waiting and waiting for Y/N to say the unsaid. It’s morning, they’ve eaten and they’re very well rested. It’s all pointing to her wanting and hoping she can stay here and have a safe place to live. But, she still needs to tell him.

“I still want you to know. I thought about it a little more and- I’d want someone to know anyways. Even if I took advantage without making sure the pack leader knew what I did, I’d want someone that I trusted to know. Just so I had a place with someone where I don’t have to worry about this thing haunting me and everything I do.”

“Let’s finish up and we can go wherever you’d like. You can still wait if you’d like-”

“I really need you to know, Namjoon.” He gives her a long, observing look. Maybe he’s really savoring this last normal moment they’ll have before she pulls the rug from underneath him. Maybe she’s doing the exact same thing, looking over this pretty, just awoken Namjoon that’s comfortable in her presence. It’ll probably be the last time she gets to see it.

“Okay.” He finally whispers.

The guest room she used is now empty, Taehyung nowhere in sight. ‘He’s probably in the sunroom.’ Namjoon told her without having to ask him. She doesn’t question it, content with only telling Namjoon right now.

“I don’t know where to start.” She says after some time of quiet thought. Namjoon sits on the edge of the bed near the spot Taehyung settled the night before.

“Can I ask something? It may help.” Namjoon confesses. She only looks at him with awkward question. “That night you seemed fine, and then- you weren’t. I was very hesitant with leaving you home alone, and I really regret it, honestly. I just- I guess I think that’s when something happened.”

His confession causes her heart to ache in remembrance. That was exactly when it started, but honestly- she could go farther back in time.

“There’s this man. He’s Richard’s coworker.” Namjoon shifts uncomfortably in her peripheral vision, but she’s too focused on her thoughts to pay attention. She shifts and paces, biting at her nails as she recalls everything. “I met him that first night Maria was out of town over the weekend, and he- he called me ‘exotic’. He-” She stops, not wanting to give those specifics yet. “He made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t see him after that so I thought that would be the last of it.”

There’s no ‘right’ way to tell him the rest. She just needs and wants to do it.

“The night I was here, with Maria gone, I was glad to be out of the house. I didn’t want to chance having dinner without Richard with his coworker there. It was pretty late, and I thought Richard would have already had him over, eaten, and had gone to bed. Richard had texted me and I checked it in the car. His coworker needed to stop by and grab some tools from the unlocked garage.”

She thinks and thinks, her breathing picking up. She wants to calm slightly before she goes on.

“I was hoping- praying- that he had already come and gone since the text was a little old.”

“Y/N…” Her breathing picks up despite her recent stop. Namjoon notices, but tries not to interrupt her. His plea is soft, asking more than anything.

“I really wanted you to stay. I was so scared. Something inside of me knew. It’s like, my cheetah knew I needed you.” She honestly confesses. “I stayed by that door before heading to my room. I was stuck there, my cheetah wouldn’t let me settle. But, I ignored her.”

“Y/N.”

“When I heard his truck, I thought- I thought it was Richard. I memorized the sound of their cars. It sounded just like Richard’s. I was so relieved, so happy to have someone slightly familiar there. But, he didn’t come into the house, and it confused me. His truck was shut off and he’d been in the garage for so long. I thought he was putting tools away, maybe- I don’t know.” Her eyes start to water at the stupidity she feels recalling those thoughts. Why else would he be in there for so long. If only it was Richard in that garage.

“I was so desperate to see him and feel at ease. I heard the garage open finally, but he didn’t turn on the lights. So, I met him in the kitchen, asking for him, searching.” She has to stop and breathe, her voice becoming louder and her words more unstable. “I didn’t see anyone, but…I felt him. His hands. His body. He was on me before I could even blink. He held my mouth shut.-”

Y/N That Night

Panic sets in immediately. She thrashes against the hold, desperately trying to get away from the grimey hands- one keeping her quiet, one keeping her arms at her sides. She doesn’t know how, but she gets loose.

She fights.

She yells and pushes herself away, trying to scramble for purchase on anything. Why would Richard do this? He must be drunk- this can’t be what she thinks it is. He doesn’t give up, reaching for any body part he can get to as she trips over his waving arms. She pulls and pushes away from him, her voice a loud plea that she can’t even understand herself. She can only hear him, him and his scrambling body trying to get to her.

She finds herself pushed into a counter as she finally stands. The counter- she can grab something. Grab something. Grab Something. As her hands roam blindly, the man is on her again, his nails being used to dig and dig into different parts of her. He pushes her down once again just as she grabs onto something with a handle. She’s able to twist so her back lands on the ground underneath him instead of face planting. The handled utensil clatters to the ground and a wail of irritation falls from her mouth.

He just tries to pry at her, touching her here and there with hands that aim to hurt her. Nothing is gentle about his touches. But neither are hers. She pushes and pries his hands from her face, her body, her arms.

“Stop. Please- Stop!” She begs. He’s so much stronger, though. He sits up, his knees bracketing her torso in place as he pushes her arms to the ground. She just about goes limp, her legs the only thing free enough to keep fighting for her. Her hand stretches out onto the floor, hoping something is within reach. As she loses the will to try, his hands move down as she tires, feeling her body underneath him. Her wet eyes wouldn’t even be able to see in the light- but within the dark she still searches and finally-

The knife.

He’s choppy and not attentive, as if he thinks she’s just giving in to him after a short while of fighting. She still can’t see him, can’t aim or direct this properly. She has one chance.

Y/N Present Day

“I struck true. I don’t know what I hit, but the second my adrenaline got the knife sunken into him I pushed and pushed and he just fell to the ground. I- I thought it was Richard and he was limp- I was more worried that I killed my guardian. I was fucking terrified.”

“I turned on the light after some time. I had just felt the blood on me, I felt his hands still all over me- it took me a while to finally decide to see him.” She lets out a shaky sigh. “It was his coworker, of course.”

“Is he?”

“They said he’s in critical condition.”

With telling him comes the feeling of those hands upon her, his body pressing into her. It’s the worst part every time she recalls it. She doesn’t remember what she said or how hard she yelled. It’s the feeling of him that stuck. The worst part stuck. Her tail wraps so tightly around her it feels suffocating. But it’s just not enough right now. She can’t get the feeling to go away.

“Y/N.” His voice is steady but kind. “Is there anything I can do to help you right now?”

Just as he was in the hospital, just as he knows whenever she needs literally anything, he knows when to ask. She can't give in just yet, that's not all that haunts her.

"He was so easy to hurt, Namjoon. It was so easy to get him so close to death. What if I- what if I hurt someone else?" She whispers the last question.

"You're not dangerous Y/N. He is. People like him deserve to be hurt. People that hurt people deserve to be hurt." Namjoon tries to explain and explain as Y/N tries her hardest to see it that way.

"I would never think of hurting you guys." Y/N whispers to him.

"I believe you'd never hurt us. You are not the one that did anything bad. You protected yourself, you did exactly what you needed to do." Namjoon urges a bit.

"I'm just so scared that I could hurt someone. I don't want to hurt anyone. Not like they've done to me, I can't let that happen to you guys. And if everyone else in the pack doesn't know I did that- and I live here- I feel like I'm betraying them."

Namjoon gives a heavy sigh at all her confessions. She understands it’s not towards her, but she can’t help but feel split open and raw at the sight of him assessing her and thinking about the consequences she’ll have to face.

“We all have secrets. We’ve all kept secrets from each other. Each one of us has a complicated history of regrets and shameful acts. Yours isn’t shameful- at all- but I want you to know that we aren’t perfect. None of them would judge you for this. None of us would feel unsafe with you here. I would feel much better if you were here.” She watches as his finger points directly in front of him at the ground to emphasize his wants.

Her cheetah seems to take him literally, urging her forwards. She halts, though, not understanding why she would need to quell something like that within her. The last time she disobeyed her cheetah she ended up hurt. Really hurt. Maybe she is questioning it too much. Maybe her cheetah is trying to truly help her more than she realizes.

She takes a few steps forward, watching as Namjoon waits for her.

“I want to be here. I want to feel safe and- I want to stop feeling him on me.” She explains with her stilly misty eyes and shaky breaths. “I don’t want to rely on others all the time, least of all someone that pretty much got stuck with me. But I want to rely on you. I want to be with you all the time, and I want to find comfort in you whenever I need it. Because you comfort me.” She’s now right in front of him.

“I don’t want to feel him on me anymore. I hate it so much, Namjoon.”

Namjoon’s hands reach up for her, clenching in the air with questions and unsure placement.

“What do you need from me?” He whispers.

“Can you hold me?” She whispers back, just for him. Can you make him go away? Can you hold me together so I don’t fall apart?

“Of course. Always.”

“So, Your contract already states that this decision will nullify the opportunity for rehoming services, but we still have a few papers for you to sign just to show this was finalized with your consent.” Mila shuffles through a few manilla folders in one of her drawers, finally pulling out a set of papers.

“This one states the home you’ve picked is one that you’ve found on your own and is not under the organization. Meaning, it isn’t the organization’s fault if you chose this home haphazardly, and you have to find your next home on your own as well.” She slides the other paper on top of that one, “And this one is your consent form, saying that you are the one that is choosing this home that is not under the organization.”

Y/N looks over to Namjoon with one more playful question in her eye just before she presses the pen to the paper. Namjoon can’t help but watch her with a content smile, playing along with her giddy emotions.

After Namjoon held her with no qualms, no questions, it didn’t take long for the adrenaline in Y/N’s body to dissipate into mush and playful giggles. Namjoon made sure she was fine and then gave into whatever she wanted at that moment. She knows she needs to work on how she handles her ups and downs, and how she copes with everything. But Namjoon calms her so well, makes her feel so safe, he’s not too much for her right now- she’s afraid to make it a full-session of her talking about it. That would be too much too fast.

She signs both papers confidently.

“Perfect. Also, I wanted to apologize that your last doctor wasn’t well-equipped to handle hybrid patients. We updated the list we have to exclude her as well as went over all the ones we hadn’t checked up on in a while. We’ll cover all the doctor fees still and will be for any other medical, mental, or herbal health you seek out. Namjoon suggested his doctor’s office if you’d like to give that one a go.”

“I’ve tried a few out, this one I’ve been using for a couple years, though.” Namjoon explains. “The whole pack goes there.”

“If it’s trustworthy that’s fine.” Y/N gives her approval.

“Okay, I’ll fill those papers out and send them to the healthcare team by tomorrow so that you can make your first appointment as soon as possible.”

“Thank you so much, Mila.” Y/N genuinely tells her. “I appreciate the work you put into everything, and I really appreciate that you’ve been caring through- everything.”

“I want you to be safe, Y/N, I’ll make sure I can provide you with all the options you have no matter what, and I’ll always give you honest advice.” Mila gives her a smile she hasn’t seen before, making her feel shy under the attention, but Namjoon helps end the meeting with the attention on him.

Y/N didn’t realize their day would end here after she watched Namjoon finish the minimal work he had for the day. A couple hours of meetings later, Namjoon is hauling her into the car with a borrowed jacket and clothes that fit her horribly.

“The budget you get for clothing, essentials, and all that are your own to spend. But, I wanted to celebrate your decision a little bit.”

“Namjoon.” Y/N warns.

“It’s not that bad, I promise. But, you will need a new phone ASAP and you will need new clothes and stuff sooner than later just to help get you settled.”

“I don’t find this celebratory.” Y/N moans into the air, her head leaning against the headrest of the car’s seat.

“Oh, that’s more because it’s extra time you get to spend with me.” Namjoon says with absolutely no sarcasm. He buckles himself in and doesn’t give a second glance to her.

“You’ll be the death of me Kim Namjoon.”

“Don’t die on me yet, that ruins the fun.” He coos.

It shouldn’t be anything special- Namjoon doting on Y/N like an experienced pack leader, suggesting this and that and making sure she’s on their phone plan even. Shopping for socks and toothbrushes isn’t something fun at all. It’s far from special or romantic but it’s- domestic. Domestic in a way that makes Y/N speechless until Namjoon turns to ask her a question with his gaze on her, obviously not having asked the question just once. She can’t pay attention to anything when his hand brushes against her with silent comfort. The touch doesn’t make her recoil or think of anything else but the butterflies in her stomach. She doesn’t understand why people call them butterflies, though. They feel thunderous, like dragons more than anything.

“Are you hungry?” Namjoon is stopped in front of her, looking down at her with concern. “Are you alright? You seem a little out of it, I’m sorry if I rushed this, I just didn’t want you to be overwhelmed when the guys got home and needed my attention suddenly.”

“I’m fine, just a little tired.” She speaks the first thing she can think of. Her cheeks pink, causing her to dip her head so he hopefully doesn’t notice.

“I just have one more stop, is that okay?”

“Of course.” He turns to walk with her again, making sure to keep in time with Y/N as she wants to walk slower to prolong her time with him before-

‘He has a pack’, she thinks. He has a family and people that need his time and attention much more than you do, more than you deserve to have it.

You could be pack. I’m not. You could be, I want to be.

Dread washes over her at the realization, and suddenly her limbs feel heavy, her skin not something that’s her own. Butterflies and dragons are long gone. She follows alongside him, this time with more space in between them. How could her cheetah want that, how could she think she has any place such as that in their home. Y/N needs to stay in her place to be able to keep her spot there, she needs to be a guest. A good one. What would they think of her if she tried to wiggle into their lives for good?

“Go ahead and look around, I’ll just be a few minutes.” Namjoon cuts her out of her thoughts, now standing in front of an electronics store. She listens, fascinated with all the little things in display cases that let her head ponder in wonder instead of that dread. Maybe she’s been staring at something for far longer than she realizes, or maybe he took less time than he’d thought- Namjoon is already ready to go with a sleek black bag added into the pile of bags.

“Let’s go home and eat, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Home.

Y/N is surprised to find she isn’t as nervous to see the pack this time around. She’s much more nervous with the fact that she still doesn’t know her place around them. Without Namjoon or Taehyung doting on her, what is the relationship supposed to be comprised of?

“Hyung!” Jungkook runs up to Namjoon who enters in front of Y/N, she hides behind him, her head down and hoping her bruises and cuts aren’t something they want to focus on. Jungkook clings to Namjoon, obviously having missed his wolf after not seeing each other all day. ‘I missed you.’ Y/N can hear the younger whisper as she hastily puts on her slippers. It all seems to weigh on her more now that she can hear them, smell them, and put excited or content expressions onto the pack’s faces.

“Y/N,” Jungkook draws her attention away from the floor, her surprised expression matching his own. “It’s nice to see you again.” He shyly admits- his bunny ears dropping to cover his pinking ears.

“It’s nice to see you as well, Jungkook. Thank you for, um, letting me be here.” She slips in before he can turn away. She needs to tell them, all in her own ways at the right time, whenever they offer her the time. She wouldn’t want to intrude on their unknown schedules.

“It’s safe here.” He says quieter, as if he knew she wanted to hear why he allowed her to be there, in his home. She gives him a shy smiling nod.

“Y/N, if you’re hungry, we are all going to eat right now.” Seokjin pulls both of their attention to him. Jungkook moving out of her way allows her to finally see the open living room and all the eyes setting on her. She immediately looks down again, not wanting to see their reactions to her.

“I, uh, I-”

“She said she was pretty tired, hyung, I’ll get her settled and grab her some to eat up in her room.” Namjoon jumps in to help her.

“No worries. Have a good night.” Seokjin says with a smile in his voice.

“Goodnight.” Y/N says in their direction, not knowing what else to say.

She can’t help but feel a bit defeated at her failed attempt to be normal. She was less nervous before walking in. But, the second she realized that only Seokjin had seen her that morning, she immediately deflated into an anxious ball.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers at Namjoon as they enter her room.

“What for?” He genuinely asks.

“That you had to save me, and that I didn’t greet them properly, or- I don’t know.” She wants to tell him more, but after the realization earlier, she has to put some type of distance between them. She can’t just give into her cheetah now that she knows what she wants.

“You don’t have to worry about any of that. They know you need time, and I know you are trying. You are strong for doing all of this and even stronger for letting me know how you feel.” Namjoon explains, separating the things in the bag he dragged in for her.

“I’ll do that. You should go have dinner with them.” She urges a little, still slightly timid from her earlier interactions. He pauses, not immediately responding to her or giving in. But he soon faces her with a smile.

“Just take the tags off and then we can wash everything before you wear them. And I’ll bring you food before settling in with them.” Namjoon almost rushes out after instructing her.

Suddenly, every layer she has on is itchy and suffocating. She strips off the oversized clothes Namjoon found for her, immediately heading for the shower to try and melt off the gross feeling coating her skin- she chooses a pair of new sleepwear she doesn’t care to have cleaned beforehand.. The water isn’t overwhelmingly hot, but a temperature that numbs her well. It’s nice not feeling anything, being scrubbed clean and warm. Afterwards, she’s dressed and leaving the bathroom to find the tray of food Namjoon promised, set on the side table near the space she sleeps.

‘I’ll wish you goodnight after everyone’s settled.’ A note near the bowl of porridge similar to this morning’s sits. A side of veggies and cooked tofu sit on a plate next to it, accompanied by a chilled glass of water. She doesn’t deserve the attentive gestures. Not when she knows deep down how she really feels about this home.

She takes to brushing her own hair and wrapping it up into a bun similar to how Namjoon did for her. She eats quickly, listening for the sound of five or six sets of footsteps to make their way to a bedroom down the hall. Then, she’s slipping out of her room with slippered feet, careful not to drop the tray with empty dishes. The coast seems clear, a way for her to clean up after herself without bothering anyone or getting in their way during their nightly routine. The kitchen light above the stove is one of the only things that lights up her path. It’s enough to get her to the sink, setting everything on the counter before slowly opening the hot water.

A light clicks on above her, causing her to squint up at the entrance she came in from.

“I didn’t realize you’d finished up, I’m sorry for getting to your room too late.” Namjoon.

“It’s okay. I can finish up by myself.” She starts her work on the dishes, following the steps she remembered Namjoon and Hoseok took to clean the dishes. She basically ignores Namjoon as he rounds the island to meet her at the sink, watching intently as she washes and rinses, setting them aside to dry once she’s done. He’s too close, practically breathing down her neck with something primal and new she hasn’t felt from him before.

Just as she’s finished washing and rinsing, Namjoon nudges her a little to the side. She doesn’t budge as easily, though, set on finishing her task. Namjoon gives an unfamiliar huff, and takes to gripping underneath her shoulders. Suddenly, her feet are off the ground and she’s set down butt first onto the counter near the sink. Namjoon wordlessly dries at the dishes she just washed. Her bewildered expression goes ignored. A scoff leaves her at the happenings.

“Aren’t you gentlemanly?” She bites out. He doesn’t answer, in fact, he seems to not care at all for answering. It’s not until he’s finished and the dishes are put away that Namjoon finally gives her attention. His hands land on either side of her legs, bracketing her in on the counter.

“I told you I’d take care of you.” Is all he huffs up at her. It’s an unfamiliar look for him- but not entirely uncomfortable or foreign feeling.

“I can do simple things. I told you I’m not living here to be a cub you can dress up and buy things for as you fancy.”

“I want to do everything. Right now, while you’re not feeling well, I want to do it.” He gives with another huff.

“I don’t want to be a bother, especially during the time you should be with your pack.”

“You are-” He stops himself, cutting off what he was going to say to calm himself a bit. “I told you I’d care for you. I need to, Y/N.” He sounds pained in some way, his gaze not on her face anymore. Y/N remembers their conversation from before. His wolf.

“Namjoon,” She tries to pull his attention up. He grumbles with an animalistic sound she hasn’t heard yet. She tries harder, finally allowing herself to touch him once again. Her palm gently pushes up on his chin to catch his gaze. “Is your wolf wanting this? Or are you?”

“My wolf is me, Y/N. We are not separate things, but two parts of one whole. Just as your cheetah will want and not want, and it will be connected to you with more intent than you realize.” It’s as if he knows. She shrinks under his words, a dry gulp being heard from her in the silence.

“You really don’t mind caring for me like this? Like I’m something that needs- deserves- all this extra stuff?”

“Even if our fates were different- I know I’d always want to care for you. Let me, just so my wolf can be satisfied a while longer, okay?”

“Okay.” She whispers into the space- or lack thereof. He doesn’t back away, instead staying there to make sure something in him is quelled.

“Okay.” He whispers back. “Let’s get you to bed, it’s cold out here.” He stretches out his arms for her, his want to carry her obvious and unforgiving this time- unlike this morning when he didn’t show his obvious want to soothe her. She could feel him against her once again. A feeling she’s growing to want more and more of. You would think that the constant small touches and the one-off hugs would put an end to her want. But, really, it just makes her yearn for more. It’s dangerous and bound to get her hurt.

She clings to him still. Her arms tight around his neck, his arms tight around her back, her legs tight around his waist.

“Don’t drop me.” She whispers, a little nervous once he starts up the stairs.

“I won’t.”

#bts au #bts fic #namjoon au #bts x fem!reader #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon x reader #bts hybrid au

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wanderingwomanwondering · 3 months

Text

Buddie Meta - Sharing Hearts & Breathing Easy

We talk a lot about the heart symbolism with buddie specifically eddie but we don’t talk enough about the breathing/lung symbolism associated with buck.

S5 gave us a ton of loud heart stuff for eddie from the transplant case to the post-panic attack cardiologist visit to buck giving eddie his heart drawing. All matters of the heart. Changes of heart, fear of a broken heart, sharing one’s heart.

S6 gave us lots of heavy breathing/lung symbolism for buck. We actually got a breathing related callback to s3 in s5. In Mayday buck talked to carson about the s3 clot in his lungs. then in s6 during buck’s coma his lungs failed, he couldn’t breathe, and he was placed on ecmo.

Heart symbolism is pretty straightforward. It tends to be associated with feelings, relationships, and meaningful connections with the self and with others. Breathing and lung symbolism is a little different. It tends to be associated with freedom from something restrictive or constraining. Relief, satisfaction, ease and contentment.

Each captures a key part of eddie and buck’s respective character struggles. Eddie has been learning to “let himself feel it” no matter how hard or scary or confusing, to allow himself to reach out and also accept help along the way, to love himself enough to show his traumas, connect, and heal. Buck has been learning to stop holding his breath, to stop waiting on other people to tell him he’s worthy and start discovering his worth for himself, to let go of the pressure to be what others want, need, or expect and just be himself.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the overlap too between the heart and lung symbolism with buddie. At the start of s5 eddie thought he was having a heart attack but it was really a panic attack. He needed to accept his feelings and free himself from the socially/family imposed narrative of who/how he was supposed to be. And he did. At the end of s5 when he and buck were fixing the dry wall in his room we saw that he’d finally come full circle. In s6 during buck’s hospitalization at the start everyone was worried about his heart but then they realized his lungs were the most damaged from the lightning strike. He couldn’t breathe easy, and his entire coma dream was his fantasy of being someone he’s not and being loved for it then realizing he didn’t really want that. Being loved for everything but who you actually are isn’t a dream it’s a nightmare.

The buddie overlap with the heart and lung symbolism really is wild because back in s5 buck was shocked by eddie’s panic attack (aka eddie’s journey to complete self acceptance…which buck sees more in himself than in eddie). Then in s5 when eddie saw buck’s little pre-K heart drawing he was a little surprised/amused. (It was like “bro i see your amazing heart everyday and trust me it’s more than just cute, it’s complex and beautiful.”) then we got s6 eddie being devastated by buck’s breathing problems; his reaction to the ecmo was something else! It was like eddie couldn’t handle buck not being able to see/be himself and accept himself fully and unapologetically. Eddie sees buck’s worth so clearly and he loves him so much so watching him struggle to be at ease with himself was destroying eddie.

On the one hand we have eddie loving buck’s heart and struggling to understand why buck doesn’t feel he can be at ease with himself. And on the other hand we have buck holding eddie on a pedestal as someone mostly who’s at ease with himself from buck’s perspective but then buck struggling to understand why eddie was having such a hard time showing his heart/emotions.

Eddie has come a long long way with showing his heart and buck has made incremental progress towards being comfortable with himself. It drives me bonkers how intertwined their journeys are though because when it comes to their shared trauma they are both still struggling to show it, share it, and be real in the face of it. The reality is that they BOTH have heart and breathing problems when it comes to (shared) trauma and that’s the next phase in their relationship. The fandom has been discussing this point for ages but it’s cool how the show has wrapped it in heart and breathing/lung symbolism.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 meta #911 abc

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who1ssheesh · 3 months

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With every touch

Hot take: in contrary to a popular opinion, people do consider xanxus' scars ugly. not you though - with every touch you heal a broken man.

just a rambling about his scars without a plot idk

Warnings: kinda short but i put my soul in it; huge UNAPOLOGETIC OOC, i wanna see my man happy at least once; 100% wrong grammar, english is not my native; no beta we die like tyl tsuna

Note: they always portrait xanxus' scars as something hot, but there is probably a reason he doesn't like'em, huh? In short, not-so-popular opinion that people tend to be terrified of a huge man with ugly scars

Oh, that man...My battered, cruel man.

At first Xanxus was furious to even look at himself in the mirror. Every of them probably was shattered and he felt so too. Windows curtained, lights off - he avoided any possibility of seeing himself until Superbia had to beat some sense into his boss.

His father left him tainted, how could he? Always reminded being number two, number two, a nuisance, a mistake. A reminder of a ruined life that he can never fix.

Not only that, Xanxus started noticing that people...didn't like them, to say the least. Xanxus being Xanxus, he at some point likes it (coping? question mark?) since he enjoys to be feared and respected, you can't take that away from him, but he was still young and impressionable when he got them.

Like what, he got frozen at 16 and got rescued still having the same mentality? He was...not a child but not an adult either.

Civilians tend to side eye him. You don't have to be smart to know such scars are not an accident and he is not some fucking florist, y'know what I mean? It is a branding of a life he lives and the one that will kill him one day.

His whole body - and in every way too fucking visible place - deformed with the thick layer, it feels as if his skin was melting at some point. It's rough, harsh and bumpy to the touch but Xanxus couldn't give more shit since he can't even feel those.

He doesn't like to touch his face and not feel anything, cause scars are so fucking deep

And it is an ironic cycle - Xanxus gets angry at those scars, and they get bigger, and he gets even angrier-

He hates his father so much.

Oh yeah, for some reason we all consider Xanxus as a womanizer but hear me out he is very selective because he is proud to an unhealthy manner

He would fuck some annoying lesser boss' wife to humiliate him, fight me on this take

Probably tried to have several sugar babies and random one night stands

Tried

None of them mentioned it out loud but he could notice their...disgust? Xanxus would light like a match instantly - he is fucking Xanxus, how dare they?

how dare they remind him what a mistake he is?

Xanxus gets black-out drunk while cleaning his weapon way too much and considers this his life. Who needs feelings and others anyway?

His past shape him, so he will live at least out of spite. Every scar reminds him of why he was hated by a man he thought as a father - too furious, too dangerous, too ambitious.

So be it.

But then there is you...

Xanxus likes your cheeks. You could never tell that though, since he is very distant, but they are so...soft. Untouched. He will touch them rarely, covering with "you pig got some dirt on your face"

He will get furious if anyone dares to leave even the smallest scar on your body. And we're not talking about just angry but "blind rage" angry. He won't let you live through mafia experience the way he did. It can be even "ouch, he scratched me while trying to capture" - he doesn't care. Even this slight scar still has a memory of your capture left on you body

He knows you're strong even if you have never held a gun in your hand - that's why you're his in the first place. But man has some unresolved issues, m-kay?

But his hickeys and marks are okay. That little-little hypocrite.

They were left meaning his deepest emotions though, right?

The touch moment happens - surprise - not during sex. It's a random kiss in the cheek. It's when you cling to his arm as if it doesn't look like fresh from the meat grinder.

You touch his skin so softly as if this man is not forged through pain and blood

They say severe scar skin is so thick it cannot feel anything - and so thought Xanxus about himself - anymore, but why does he feel like he is burning every time you do that?

With every touch Xanxus melts

His past shapes him, he says. But doesn't define him, you add.

Every scar shows strength and is a reminder of how strong your man is. He is still here and - very gladly - keeps fighting (even when he shouldn't)

With every touch Xanxus melts until one day this huge man bends down to put his head on your shoulder, his scarred cheek touching yours.

He hugs you. And you kiss this very cheek, finding peace in his warmth and bitter - but oh so dear smell - of alcohol and gunpowder

#khr headcanons #khr imagines #khr x reader #varia x reader #xanxus x reader #xanxus khr #katekyo hitman reborn x reader

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cinderella-ish · 9 days

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For the Fruits Basket asks: 2, 3, 19, and 18/20 for Momiji!

Oh, yay! I'm so glad you asked! (ask game here)

2. This might be the hardest question of all, because all the characters are so richly developed and I genuinely like (almost) all of them! I have a certain soft spot for Yuki and Momiji, of course, as the characters I relate to the most, and a similar soft spot for Ayame and Arisa, because I relate to them in a way as well, though to a lesser degree.

I've been writing a lot of Kyo, Saki, and (weirdly) Hiroshi, so I feel really attached to them right now. I mean, Kyo is a character whose happiness genuinely healed me. Saki's unapologetic weirdness is just the best (and uhhh my friend group in high school had a few people who shared several traits with Saki, so I was bound to like her). And Hiroshi and Yusuke are literally the best part of every scene they're in. (Especially Hiroshi in Cinderella-ish. Seriously, his narration is top tier!)

And Machi and Kakeru have a special place in my heart, too, partly because of their roles in Yuki's development, but also because of the ways I relate to each of them. And, of course, Tohru. I mean, there's so much to say about her, but her deep, deep empathy and the richness of her arc and development are just gorgeous.

I do keep coming back to Yuki and Momiji, though. They're central to two of the scenes that I found most surprisingly powerful; Yuki when he tells Kakeru "that isn't what I want!" and Momiji in his speech to Akito, when he says "a happiness might exist for me!" Outside of the major plot points of the series (which are nearly all centered around Tohru and Kyo), these two moments are, I think, some of the most satisfying developments for any of the characters, period.

(Oops, that turned into an essay 😅)

3. If we're sticking to named characters, I think Katsuya is the only choice. I know Takaya couldn't develop every single character in the series, but Katsuya is one whose development would have enriched not only him, but Kyoko, Tohru, and Grandpa Honda as well.

I think that the Katsuya-Kyoko relationship can be read as problematic and even predatory exactly as written. It reads as romanticized because it's told from Kyoko's point of view. But Katsuya himself remains kind of an enigma, and it's just really hard to like him when we don't even know what made him think pursuing a middle schooler was okay.

19. Oh gosh. You're going to get a few long answers, I fear. 😅

I have several favorite fanworks! Off the top of my head:

Ripples, by @proseprincess

So, canon divergent AUs are probably my favorite type of fic, and I especially love fics where one canon event changes, and everything that follows changes due to something like a butterfly effect. In this two-part series, Tohru never met Kureno in the park, which changes everything that came after in a big way. I love that this tackles some massive changes to canon, yet they all feel grounded in the world and characters we all know. The second installment is incomplete, but still very worth the read IMO, not only because part 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger, but because it's just so inventive and unlike anything else I've read. Maybe my very favorite fanwork.

I'll be Standing There By You, by Eboni_A

This is a beautiful, devastating AU told from Yuki's point of view where he finds out in the final weeks of her life that Tohru has terminal cancer. We see Yuki drop everything to come and support Kyo and be with Tohru in her final weeks, we see Tohru die, and we see Kyo and Yuki (and everyone else) try to keep going afterward. It's heartbreaking yet hopeful, and the author made relatively recent comments about a potential sequel! Fingers crossed!

Inertia, by miss_coverly @lesbian-kyoru

This is another canon divergent AU where Kyo and Tohru become friends with benefits before the curse breaks. It's honestly shocking how beautiful this work is. The prose is gorgeous, the angst is dialed all the way up, the sexual tension is dialed even higher, the characterization is crystal clear, it's honestly a masterclass in POV, the sex is sexy, and I could go on and on. I never thought a blowjob scene would make me cry, yet it did.

The Pursuit of Repeating History, by RiddleAfar @mistergrass

So, when I first started reading fanfiction, I stuck strictly with canon-compliant works. Then, I dipped my toes into canon divergence AUs like those above, but I heavily resisted reading anything with alternative pairings.

Then, I got curious about that one really popular Yuki/Kyo soulmates AU fic, and gave it a read. By the end of the first chapter, I couldn't put it down. And when I was finished reading, I knew I had to check out everything else by that author, which is how I ended up reading The Pursuit of Repeating History.

This story honestly showed me the power of fanfiction. The author legit crafted lore for the Fruits Basket universe. And the "lore" chapters (I think they're referred to as "intermissions") are each beautifully-told stories in their own right. But the author also grappled with how the curse might work, and I think they did an incredible job. I'm actually rereading this beast right now!

We'll Work it Out Together, by inheritanceofgeek @mrsmarymorstan

Okay, I'm a sucker for anything with lots of Hiroshi and Yusuke, and this story is probably the most Hiroshi-and-Yusuke-focused story on Ao3. (Probably worth mentioning the author's sideblog, @2d-iendfrays which is an absolute treasure!) In it, Kyo figures out he's asexual, then figures out he's demisexual, all with the help of his two wholesome buds.

Like almost all the authors on this list, inheritanceofgeek has some other really fantastic works that are worth checking out, from sexual humor to Yuki/Machi smut to a touching piece about new parenthood.

How Can I Thank You, by SharkFairy77

Another brilliant Yuki/Kyo piece, in which Yuki hosts Kakeru and Komaki for dinner (at the apartment he shares with Kyo), and at the last minute, Kakeru asks if Machi can come. (Machi is Yuki's ex in this universe)

The piece starts with dinner prep, and then dinner, and the character writing is just incredibly spot on. I loved the arc of the story through the dinner, and the way Kyo and Machi come to an understanding.

But then, we get into some A+ YukiKyo smut.

I'll Be Here, by Blanche2023 @biancanekoyokai

(Full disclosure - I beta read this work!)

This is a very sweet and sad piece about Kyo's first few days in Kazuma's care after his mother's death. Blanche's characterization is outstanding, and she handles tricky things (like writing a young Akito who's also performing head-of-the-family duties) in a really clever way.

I don't think there's enough pre-canon fic out there, nor enough gen fic, and this piece is just beautiful.

Escaping the future, by Modzy78

I really love the way Modzy78 thinks about the Fruits Basket universe, and her take on the canon-divergence of "what if Tohru never confessed to Kyo" is inventive, suspenseful, fluffy, and just such a fun read! I also really love her other canon divergent AU Cursing the Cursed. And Modzy78 is honestly a superhero for the fandom.

The Talk, by Geoduck @drgeoduck

Honestly, Geoduck has a ton of works you should read, but I'll mention this one because it's probably the funniest thing I've ever read. And then it somehow gets even funnier!

The Ones Who Walk Away From Sohma House, also by Geoduck

If you're a fan of Ursula K. Leguin (my very favorite author!), then you are probably familiar with her famous short story, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, and this short fic is an absolute must-read.

no one is lost, by emphasis

Momiji bumps into Ritsu in a gay bar. Not a pairing I ever imagined, but an excellent fic that puts Momiji in the position of "elder queer" to Ritsu. (Honestly, I wish there were more Momiji-as-elder-queer fics!)

Some other favorites:

The Night We Met, by pettyimperfections

Hold On, by Danyu

Heart Strain, by Kitty0430

I think about you all the time, by lucybeee @riceballcatfb (incomplete)

Making Nice, by Itsalreadyhalloweenright @riza-rin-rose (incomplete)

What's a White Lie Between Friends (& My Family)? by AnxietyAvocado

My Hands on You is Just a Fantasy, by unscheduledmakeouts

This Air is Blessed, by KyoDoodles

Please, Let Her Live, by @goldfishoflove

And that isn't even touching the dozens of phenomenal Yukeru fics! Just a small selection of Yukeru favorites:

fit back in, by @luftballons99

woebegone, by a-bigail @yunsoh

The Other Side of Paradise, by reconquer @yukisohmasmokesweed

If I Ever Feel Better, also by reconquer

if i do anything i regret tonight, no i didn't, by sacrificialParsnip (another fic where Momiji is an elder queer!)

i wanna be dyed with your colors, by halfhope

Like Fireworks in the Night Sky, by Princely_Hairdos (incomplete, currently being updated!)

President Perfect, by draebelle

tongue tied, by b_o_i (note: heed the warnings!)

And if you're familiar with OnigiriCat4Ever's canon continuation series, Always and Forever, some of my favorite works from that series include My Brother, Truth and Consequences, You Don't Understand, I Want to Understand, and all of their smut (collected in a separate series called Tohru and Kyo's Amorous Adventures, plus one explicit Hajime/Mutsuki fic).

And, of course, I'm really proud of my longfic, Bloom Within Us, and wrote it because it's the sort of thing I'd want to read. It's currently in progress, and I took a break from writing due to a family emergency, but I'm back at it and hope to start regular posting within a month.

uhhhh so I think I'll have to make my Momiji headcanons another post (hopefully tomorrow) because this got long! 😅 Thank you again for asking!

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