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resident-gay-bitch · 2 months

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Regulus’ heart breaks as he stands there, just behind the willow tree, watching James and Sirius roll around on the grass, play fighting in their own little world.

Of course he left him. Of course James would pick Sirius over Regulus, wouldn’t everyone? Regulus has never been picked first. Not once.

Not by his parents, who ignored him throughout his entire childhood to focus on framing Sirius as the perfect son and heir.

Not by Sirius, who ran away, picking James to be his brother and not bothering to ask Regulus to tag along.

Not in team games, where students would pick through the class one by one, and Regulus would be one of the last few standing.

Not by his friends, who all would chose their partners, or the other people in the group first. He joined last, it’s only fair.

Not even by the lizard who inhabits his dorm room, who picks the three other boys to crawl over to first, every time.

And certainly not by James.

He thought, for once, the cycle might be broken. He thought, for once, someone would pick him first. He’d get chosen over someone else, just once.

He should have known better.

He should have known that the moment Sirius found out about he and James sneaking around in dark corridors and whispering sweet words to each other, James would have to pick.

He was foolish to think James would pick him over Sirius. He was foolish to think that James would pick him over anyone.

And as Lily, with her fiery red hair pulled back into braids, comes marching over to the boys, snatching James up by his collar and earning herself a cheek kiss, Regulus realises he should have seen that coming too.

Not even two weeks has passed since Regulus placed second to his brother, as he does in fucking everything, and James has already moved on.

Regulus would never be anyone’s first choice, he should have known better.

He knows better now.

It’s not until three months later that Regulus finally shatters from it. The crushing weight of never being enough, never being someone’s first choice.

It’s Slytherin against Ravenclaw for the quidditch cup, and there in the crowd, he spots his brother and James.

They’re decked out in silver and blue, and they don’t look at Regulus, not even once.

Barty finds him in the showers, once the entire teams cleared out. He’s dressed in a confusing mix of blue and green, for his own house and his friends.

Hes crying. Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever cried this hard before. The water is pouring down over his head, and he’s still fully dressed in his uniform.

Slytherin lost. He lost them the match, because he was more focused on trying to catch James or Sirius looking his way just once than getting the snitch. They didn’t, and he lost.

Barty clearly doesn’t know how to handle this. The lowest he’s ever seen Regulus would have been prior to an exam he stressed himself out about. Besides, Barty has always been a little awkward when handling emotions.

Regulus tries to tell him to leave him be, he really does. But his words get all chocked up in his throat and he can’t get out much more than a wail or a sob. It fucking hurts.

“What’s the matter, Black?” Barty asks, switching the water off before crouching down in front of him, “What’s got your knickers in a twist, hey?”

“I-I’ll never be… good enough.” Regulus confesses. He’s never said it out loud before. He’s not a vulnerable person, he doesn’t do this. He knows better than to let out his sob story to someone, they can hold it over him one day. But he can’t help himself, he finds. He needs to get it off his chest before it rips him open, “I’ll never… b-be enough.”

Barty’s silent for a while, clearly unsure of what to say. It only makes Regulus sob more. He pulls his knees up to his chest and hides his head in his hand, and he fucking cries. He’s sure if anyone’s still out side, they’d hear it, but Barty locked the door when he came in. At least that’s something.

“I can never be enough.” Regulus sobs again, and this time Barty kicks into action.

He’s still awkward about it, Regulus can tell, he probably has better things to do than listen to Regulus cry as well, which only makes this worse. He pushes Regulus’ sopping hair out of his face and pats his face dry with the end of his Slytherin scarf before hauling them both to their feet.

“Who told ya that?” Barty asks, pulling his wand out to try his hand at a drying spell. It mostly works, so Regulus can’t complain.

“I don’t have to be told something to know it, Barty.” Regulus sniffles, wiping his eyes. They sting, and he knows he looks terrible, but there’s no use in worrying about that now.

“Well… I think, if you haven’t been told, it can’t be true.” Barty shrugs, tucking his wand back in his pocket.

“Fine.” Regulus nods, “My entire fucking family has told me then, on several occasions.”

“Oh.” Barty stills, and he has a look on his face of utter confusion.

Regulus shakes his head and goes to walk for the door, but he winces when he puts pressure on his ankle. He fell on it weirdly, midway through the match when he was knocked off his broom. It didn’t bother him before, but it does now.

“You hurt?” Barty asks, and Regulus nods.

Silently, Barty reaches out and wraps his arm around Regulus’ waist. He flinches at first, startled by the slightly intimate touch, but then Barty pulls Regulus to shift his weight, and he relaxes into it a little. Together, they walk back across the field, Barty carrying Regulus’ broom, and half of Regulus’ weight, and make their way back to the castle.

It’s oddly silent.

It’s always quiet, between them. Regulus isn’t much of a talker, and when Barty runs out of stupid things to say he goes quiet and people watches. He usually watches Regulus, since they’re always together, something that took a while to get used to. Barty really likes to watch Regulus read, it makes him a little self conscious of any strange expressions he might be making.

But it’s a strange sort of quiet now. It’s silent. Regulus isn’t talking, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he feels ashamed for breaking down like that. He doesn’t just break down. Men don’t fucking break down. Especially not in front of people like that. He feels embarrassed that Barty found him.

Well, he’s grateful it was Barty over anyone else, seeing as though they’re supposed to be close friends, Merlin forbid Sirius found him. But it’s still uncomfortable.

The only friend any of them have that likes to talk about feelings is Pandora. Regulus assumed this was because she was a girl, at first, however, Dorcas doesn’t like talking about them either. Pandoras just strange like that, she cares about people in odd ways. Sometimes it’s nice, but mostly it’s terrifying.

Barty looks like he wants to talk. He also looks like he wants to watch Regulus, but every time he turns his head to do so he probably sees the red rimming of Regulus’ eyes and finds something much uglier than usual. It only makes Regulus feel all the more ashamed.

Barty starts whistling. It’s not his regular noise filling whistles either, it’s his uncomfortable whistling. He doesn’t want to be here, Regulus can tell. Merlin, he needs to get away.

“Going back to your dorm?” Barty asks as they round a corridor in the castle.

Regulus nods, “Is Evan-“

“He’s there.” Barty says, “Cas too… dunno about Dora, she’s always off with the fairies. If she’s not hugging Dorcas about their loss then I dunno where she is.”

Regulus goes tense, “I don’t want them to see me.”

Barty stops and swallows, “Okay… how about my dorm then? My roommates are all down by the lake. They snagged some firewhisky.”

“Okay.” Regulus agrees, because he has no where else to go.

Once settled in Barty’s dorm, Regulus changes into more comfortable clothes. Plaid pyjama pants and a green knitted sweater he knows is his own that went “missing” last year. He doesn’t question it, Barty’s strange like that. He likes to collect things, and especially Regulus’ things.

They’re both sitting on his bed, Regulus tucked up under the covers and Barty sitting on the other end. He’s flipping through one of his dorm mates magazines and whistling to himself, his regular whistling again. It calms Regulus a bit.

Lying there, stuck with his own thoughts, he can’t hide from the images that pop into his mind every time he closes his eyes. All of Sirius and James, all of them examples where Regulus placed last.

There’s so many it’s hard to filter out which ones are new and which ones are old.

They all hurt just the same.

“Whatcha crying about now?” Barty asks, looking over at Regulus. He didn’t even realise he was crying again, but he is. “Did I do something wrong? I’ll fix it, whatever. Get ya whatever you need, promise.”

“You didn’t do anything.” Regulus sniffles, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. Barty’s stuck posters up there, muggle ones of girls on motorcycles and punk bands, just to piss off his dad. “I’m just…”

“Go on.” Barty asks, sitting up now, cross legged and attentive. “There’s no one here, just me. Promise I’ll never tell.”

Regulus sighs and fiddles with his fingers, “I don’t need your pity, Barty. I’ve survived this long, I can survive some more.”

“Yeah, but you’re crying.” He says, and Regulus glares at him. “What? I ain’t seen you cry before, it’s weird. I know it’s really gotta be botherin ya if you’re crying like this. What would Dora say?”

“She’d probably try to hug me and make me cry more.” Regulus offers.

“Do you want… me to- uhm, hug you?”

“No.” Regulus glares at him. “I don’t want your pity, I said.”

“It’s not my pity, Regulus!” Barty splutters, “It’s a bloody hug. Dora says there really good for ya! I love her hugs, you know. Get ‘em all the time. I- I know I’m no Pandora but… I mean, I can offer ya a real bony one.”

Regulus snickers and looks back up at the roof, “No thanks. That’s weird.”

“Is it?” Barty asks, “Cause… cause I’ve been listening to what she’s sayin and… I think it would be nice.”

“If I hugged you right now?” Regulus raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah… and other times.” Barty shrugged, “I dunno, might be dumb but… we’re supposed to be friends, ya know? Friends hug. Cas hates ‘em, unless they’re from Dora, but Evan and I hug sometimes.”

“You’re being weird.”

“I’m not trying to.” Barty frowned, “I just… I care about you, I suppose.”

Regulus swallowed. The only person who’s said that before has been Pandora, but she cares about everyone.

Barty… well, he doesn’t care about much at all. He cares about so little, that Regulus thought the only thing he probably cared about was pissing off his dad and Pandora herself. But apparently that’s not true.

Regulus doesn’t want to believe it. He doesn’t want to hurt himself by believing that he could be one of the very few things Barty has come to care about.

But they’re friends, and Barty watches him a lot, and collects Regulus’ things, and helps him when he cries, and offers to hug him.

Now Regulus is crying for a whole other reason.

“One hug?” Barty offers, sticking out his arms, “I’ll make it so quick and if you hate it we don’t ever have to do it again.”

Regulus contemplates it. He doesn’t remember the last time he was hugged.

He knows the last good one was Pandora, maybe last year, when they were leaving for summer. Quick and carefree. The last bad one, that was James. Not that it was bad at the time, but it hurts to think about now. It was false stability and ended in heartbreak. The last time he was hugged to be soothed though? His mind takes him back to Sirius, when they were still little.

“Fine.” Regulus mutters, sitting up under the covers, “But make it quick.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Barty nods and moves in, “Sorry if I’m uncomfortable.”

Regulus nods and sits very still as Barty wraps himself around Regulus’ shoulders. It’s awkward, to say the least. They’ve never done this before, and they’re going about it very strangely.

“Reg… you gotta relax a bit.”

“How am I supposed to relax when I have a boney man attached to me?”

Barty scoffs and squeezes him a little tighter, “Just put your head on my shoulder, orrite. Relax, just for a second.”

Regulus huffs but does it anyway. He leans his head over to rest on Barty’ shoulder and drops his own, and… oh, it’s nice. It’s actually really, really nice. Barty’s soothing his back, and twisting his finger around the end of Regulus’ hair. And it’s nice.

He can’t even feel Barty’s ribs poking him or anything. It’s really, really cosy.

Regulus pushes him away, wiping his tears.

Barty gives him a guilty smile, “Terrible?”

“No.” Regulus sniffles, “It was actually grossly nice.”

Barty snickers and nods his head, “Well, if you ever need another hug, I’ll give ya as many as ya kneed.”

“Thanks.”

“No problems, Black.”

Regulus fiddles with the ends of his sleeve, refusing to look up at Barty, who he knows is sitting there and staring. He’s so quiet, when he stares. It’s as if any noise Barty makes would ruin his ability to set his full attention solely on Regulus.

It’s so strange. He’s so strange.

“You can’t tell anyone.” Regulus mumbles.

“What, that we hugged?” Barty laughs.

“No.” He scoffs, “What I said before, wanker. In the showers.”

“Oh.” Barty nods, “Well, I wasn’t gonna anyway. Course not, Reg. I know you. I know you hate people knowing your business.”

Regulus nods, “You really wouldn’t have told anyone? Not even Dora?”

“Cross my heart.” Barty smiles, doing just that, “I know she’s my best friend, but you are too. It means something, you know?”

“Oh.” Regulus mumbles.

Barty can only laugh at him, and Regulus turns a little pink.

“Can I… no, don’t worry about it.”

“No, go on.” Barty offers, “It’s just you and me.”

Regulus sighs, “I just… I’m tired of not being good enough, Barty.”

“I dunno what you mean, Black. You’re bloody brilliant.” Barty says, flopping down on his back like a starfish, “You shoulda been in Ravenclaw with your smarts, and not to mention your skills as a seeker. You’re top of the class, Reggie, course you’re good enough.”

Regulus thinks Barty will never understand how much that singular sentence fucking means to him, even if he tries to explain it. It stings, how good it feels to hear it. He never has. Not once.

“Not just in school, Barty. Everywhere else.” Regulus mumbles, wiping his teary eyes. They’re stinging again, and he really doesn’t want to cry, but he knows he will. It’s so stupid. “Everything else. I’m just…”

Barty rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow to look at Regulus, “Like, with your family?”

Regulus nods, chewing on a hangnail.

“Yeah, I get that.” Barty sighs, “Is this about… those who must not be named?”

Regulus closes his eyes to compose himself, and nods again.

“Right.” Barty says, “Did Sirius do something? You know he barked at me the other day, like a fucking dog. So I’ll go hex him, happily, if you want?”

“No, Barty. Don’t.” Regulus shook his head, “He didn’t… I… they both just…”

“Go on.” Barty said softly, softer than Regulus has ever heard him speak before as he slowly sits up to get level with him.

“I’ll always be second best.” Regulus mutters, and then he starts crying again. Hot tears down his cheeks, redness in his eyes, stuttering over himself as he shakes.

“Oh, Reg…”

“He- he just picked James, over his own blood brother. Every time it’s James and… and I… and James just… I loved him. I loved him Barty, I was in love with him. I think part of me still is, but… he, he picked Sirius too. He picked Sirius, and Lily, because she’s just… she’s so pretty, and smart, and she’s got everything that I’ve got but, she’s just… she’s just so much better.” Regulus heaved, pressing a hand to his chest, “Everywhere, I see it everywhere. Not just with them, but mostly, I- I’ll never… I’ve never been someone’s first choice, Barty. Ever. And I don’t think I ever will be. No one picks me just because they can.”

His shoulders shake as he cries, his breath short and stuttered. When Barty reaches out in offer for another hug, Regulus falls forward into his arms, head pressed against his friends chest.

It feels so safe there, to be cradled in Barty’s arms, it’s warm. He cries a puddle through his sweater, but Barty doesn’t seem to mind.

“Shh, Reggie.” Barry sooths, lightly scratching his nails over Regulus’ back and sifting his fingers through his hair. “Just breathe, love. Just breathe.”

Regulus follows his command, taking deep breaths and timing them with the rise and fall of Barty’s chest beneath his head. He relaxes there, letting his eyes fall shut, and Barty continues to rub his back and play with his hair.

“I’m so tired.” Regulus mumbles through the last of his tears, “I’m going to fall asleep if you keep doing that.”

“That’s okay.” Barty laughs softly, “How about we lie down?”

“Isn’t that weird?” Regulus asks.

“Isn’t everything I do weird?”

Regulus shrugs and follows when Barty pulls him down to lay against the pillows. Barty slips under the covers with him, and pulls Regulus’ head against his chest again. Bartys heart is beating faster than it should be, but Regulus ignores it and wiggles around until he’s comfortable.

Once again, Barty strokes his back and scratches his scalp, and folds himself into Regulus a little.

He presses a little kiss to the top of Regulus’ head, and his heartbeat speeds up rapidly.

Regulus tenses, “Why is your heart beating like that, Barty? Are you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable?” He questions, already coming up with a million terrible reasons for it. He’s been so stupidly selfish about his own problems he didn’t even notice how uncomfortable he’s made his supposed best friend.

“No…” Barty half follows as Regulus sits up, leaning back on his elbows, “No, Reg. Obviously not.”

Regulus’ shoulders relax a little, “Well, then what is it?”

Barty looks away, “Come on, don’t tease, Reggie. I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m not teasing.” He shakes his head, “What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem, obviously.” Barty snickers, “Come on, we can just… we can forget about it by tomorrow if it’s weird.

“What’s weird, Crouch?” Regulus pressed, “I don’t understand.”

Barty looked at him for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in the middle, and his mouth slowly fell open, “You don’t know?”

“Know what?” Regulus asked.

“About me…”

“About you… what?” Regulus shook his head.

“About…” Barty sighed, shaking his head in delirium. He laughed, at himself, mostly, which only confused Regulus more, “Everyone said it was obvious. I just thought we both… I thought we had an understanding. That we’d both ignore it and go on with our lives.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Barty?” Regulus asked, shoving at his chest.

“Oi!” Barty snickered, “That I… well… I thought you knew you’d be my first choice for everything.”

Regulus froze, scowling at him for a moment, “Don’t tease-“

“Not teasing, Reggie.” Barty looked away, taking a short breath. “Look, if it’s… if it’s too weird, I get it. But, I’m okay pretending, if you want.”

“P-pretending?” Regulus whispered.

“Yeah.” He shrugged, sitting up and loosely hugging his knees, “Pretending I’m not in love with you.”

Regulus didn’t have an answer for that. He was truely wound speechless. Barty… loves him?

“I meant it… I’d pick- I’d pick you over everything else in this world. I really mean it, Reggie. I promise.” Barty mumbled, “You’re my first pick, always have been.”

Regulus’ heart stops in his chest for a moment. His throat hurts and his eyes sting again. Regulus doesn’t think he’s cried as much as he has today through his entire life, including when he was a baby.

He can’t help it, crying again. Because Regulus believes him. Barty’s always been devastatingly honest, even at the worst of times. So why would he lie about this? And he looks so earnest, sounds it too. He sounds like he really, truely means it.

No ones ever picked Regulus first, besides Barty Crouch Jr, who has a collection of Regulus’ things, and who stares at him unashamedly, and consoles Regulus when he cries even if it makes him uncomfortable.

And Regulus has been too self centred to ever notice.

But Barty is in love with him, and by the sounds of it he has been for a while. Apparently everyone knows it.

He thinks about it for a moment, while he sobs and cries and heaves. Barty does all that he can to soothe him, reaching out to wipe away tears, and hold him, and rub his arms and back.

Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever felt as safe as he doesn’t when he’s around Barty. Which is an odd thing to realise, because Barty is kind of a loose cannon. He’s violent, and angry, and snarky and rude. But with Regulus he’s always… well, he’s funny, and he can still be a little rude sometimes, but he’s also kind and generous and a little odd.

Regulus now realises all that oddness he’s noticed is just things Barty does that signals he’s in love with him. But Regulus has never noticed, he’s never looked to see how Barty doesn’t do all these very things with other people.

He’s Barty’s first choice.

And now that he thinks of it, Barty might just be his.

He’s the only person Regulus trusts to see him like this. Not even Pandora could, as much as he loves her. Regulus just hates being vulnerable. But he supposed it’s a little different with Barty, because he’s always been a little vulnerable with Regulus.

It’s comforting, to say the least, to have confirmation that he’s wanted. That he’s cared for. That he’s somebodies first choice.

And Barty loves him, which is strange. He’s never looked at Barty in that way before. And sure, Barty makes plenty of jokes about finding Regulus fit and wanting to snog him and so on and so forth, but he’s never thought too deeply about it.

He does that with other people, doesn’t he?

Now that Regulus thinks about it, he definitely doesn’t do it as much as he does it to Regulus.

Barty pulls away, rubbing up and down Regulus’ biceps, as he gives a nervous smile. It’s crooked, like most of Barty’s smiles, but this time Regulus really notices it.

“I’m sorry if it’s weird, I dunno what to do, Reggie.” Barty tries, “How do I stop you crying?”

Regulus sniffled and blinked his tears away slowly, refusing to cry anymore. His cheeks are all wet and sticky, and his eyes fucking ache, as well as his throat, but he’s not thinking about that.

“Do you really mean that?” Regulus sniffles, and he blinks away a few more tears, “Me being your first choice?”

“Of course, why would I lie about that, Reg. It clearly means a lot to you- I just… I thought you knew.”

Regulus scrunches up his nose, “Well, why would I cry about how I’m no one’s first choice if I knew I was yours?”

Barty’s quiet for a moment. He retracts his hands and ducks his head to mumble, “I just thought… well I thought I didn’t really matter, at the end of it all.” He shrugged, “I’d do anything for you- I already have, you know, and… I just… I thought you knew. And I thought it didn’t matter to you because… well, I’m the same, I suppose. I don’t think anyone’s picked me first either.”

“You still… even thinking that I just- I just didn’t care about you, or your feelings or… or anything at all, you still…” Regulus scrunched up his nose, ducking his head to catch Barty’s eye, “You still would have picked me first?”

Barty nodded, “Done anything for you.”

“Oh.” Regulus whispered, shaking his head, “Barty…”

“Yeah?” Barty asked, swallowing a large lump in his throat.

Regulus kisses him. No thoughts, no warnings, no nothing at all. He just leans forward and kisses him right on the mouth.

Barty pulls away first, almost immediately, wide eyed and startled, “What the fuck did you do that for?”

“I don’t know.” Regulus muttered, touching his lips, “You just… I… you love me, and… fuck, Barty. You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah.” Barty nodded, there’s water in his eyes now, and Regulus can tell he’s trying to hold it back, “And you just kissed me. Please don’t- don’t do that. I’m… I can’t handle that, Reg. I can handle us being friends, even though it’s driving me mad, but… I just- I can’t-“

“Well, don’t you want to be more?”

“Fucking hell, Regulus.” Barty leers back.

“What?” Regulus scoffs.

“You can’t just fucking… don’t say that.” He shakes his head, taking a moment to compose himself, “Don’t be stupid, orrite. I can’t fucking… I love you, Reggie. I can’t handle… possibilities because I’m just… I’m gonna drive myself crazy thinking about them. And that’s not good.”

“I’ve never had someone love me before, Barty.” Regulus whispers, “I’ve never had someone… I want- I want to chose you too. You’re my best friend, and I already do choose you. But I want to do it more. I want to… please?”

“I don’t understand, Reg.” Barty whispered back.

Regulus took his hand, smoothing his fingers over Barty’s rigid knuckles. They’re rough and scarred, just as they always are. Just as Regulus knows them to be.

“I don’t really either, Barty.” He admits, “I never knew you felt that way, and I’ve never thought about it- you- us. I’ve never thought about us like that before, but I… I can picture it.”

Barty closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Barty. I don’t want to lead you on. I want to try. Don’t you want to try?”

Barty keeps his eyes sealed shut and he shakes his head no, “What happens when you get bored of me? What- what happens when Potter comes crawling back to you? What happens when you realise I’m fucking… more insane than you thought? I’d- don’t tempt me, Regulus, because I meant what I said, I’d do anything for you.” Barty’s breath trembles, “I’d kill him, I’d kill them both. I’d kill all of them, just to make you happy. So you never feel like a second choice to them ever again- I- I mean it, Regulus.”

“I know.” Regulus breaths, and it scares him, what Barty’s saying, because he does know. It’s not just words. But those words aren’t the part that scare him, it’s the fact that he likes it that does. It makes him want. “I know, Barty. And I know that if I hurt you, truly, truly hurt you like this, you’d make my life a living hell. I know.”

“What about Potter?” Barty asks, trying to mask tears of his own, “Don’t you love him?”

“Maybe.” Regulus admits, regretfully so, “But I don’t want to. He’d never… he could never love me the way you could anyway. The way that I need.”

“And how do you need it?”

“To be your first choice.” Regulus whispered, “How do you need it, Barty?”

Barty took a deep breath, thinking about it for a moment. He looked up at Regulus with a pout and hopeful eyes, “I just want to be good enough for love before anything else.”

Regulus smiles, “You are.”

Barty shakes his head.

“You are.” Regulus confirms, “To me, you are.”

Barty sniffles, “Do you love me… like that?”

Regulus sighs, “N… no.” He scolds himself for the truth, because it seems to shatter Barty’s heart to pieces. “But I want to, Barty… I want to love you the way you do me. And I think I will. You just have to let me.”

“Really?” Barty sobs.

Regulus nods, “Will you let me?”

Barty nods and leans back in, and Regulus kisses him again. They both had wet cheeks, and headaches, and heartaches from crying, but they kiss anyway. And Regulus cries again, for hopefully the last time, because Barty kisses like he never wants to stop.

Regulus has never been kissed like that before.

Regulus has never been loved before.

He thinks with Barty, he might just be enough.

★ ★ ★

Bartylus shippers unite.

This one’s so angsty I’m sorry but I can’t help it and yerr Reggie kinda has misogynistic views which is gross but it’s the fucking 70’s and look at his parents. I USUALLY write them all to be better than that and not arseholes but I wanted to make this one hurt.

Also I don’t think I’ve written from Reggie’s pov before sooooo that was interesting.

Idk I liked this. Let me know your thoughts :)

Read here on ao3

If you want to read more of my stuff you can find it all here :))

Tagging everyone that expressed interest in the angsty bartylus one shot lmao: @lapassemirroir @mayflywrites @garlicbread4ever @moonyluv-s @managingmischeif @stxr-bxy @the-lionsheart @crimsonlovebartylus

#bartylus #regulus black #barty crouch jr #using Jegulus as a plot point for bartylus 😬🤭👀🤷#Reggie has so many big feelings but he’s never got to express them before the poor baby #it’s okay. Barty’s here to save the day #also Barty is a Ravenclaw. and so skinny it’s concerning. he’s trying to defy his dad by being the opposite of the big man he wants him 2 b #Barty is also awkward. not good at emotions but feels them so violently anyway. Barty is also a loose fucking cannon.#barty thinks he doesn’t matter when he actually matters to regulus most of all. they both just didn’t know it yet #and then they kiss and get married and have lots of babies #pandora my beloved and lily both get honerable mentions of being wonderful wonderful women. even though Reggie hates Lily he still thinks #she’s amazing #marauders #slytherin skittles #prev Jegulus #barty x regulus #fluff at the end #angst #kinda Jegulus slander #fluff if you squint #so much angst #dead gay wizards #dead gay wizards from the 70s #RAB #Barty jr #Reggie

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uhohwhathaveidone · 1 year

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Hii! Could I request an Ominis x Fem Ravenclaw reader. Something like the Reader is really interested in the giant squid in the lake, so Ominis tries to sneak her into the Slytherin common room (with the help of sebastian maybe?) So she can get a better look at it

"J'adore les calamars géants<3" "Je t'aime."

Have a Look (O.G)

I always loved the idea of the Giant Squid in the lake, and apparently it was supposed to show up in POA, but they scrapped that script :( Anyway, I like having the reader/Sebastian describe things to Ominis, because I do the same thing to my two blind cats, even though they don't really care, but they're very good at getting around. I hope you enjoy!<3 (there's a meme hidden in here, I laughed a bit after I wrote it and just kept it there)

Students chattered around you as you walked with Sebastian and Ominis through the halls, classes over for the day. You held a book you had borrowed from the library about the history of the castle, flipping through the pages as you walked. Ominis stuck close to you, leading you through the halls as you kept your eyes glued to the pages, muttering. “You have plenty of time to look at your book, you know. Perhaps it could wait until we’re no longer walking?” You shook your head, the sound of the pages turning the only response to Ominis’ question. He sighed, instead making conversation with Sebastian. Sebastian chuckled, glancing over at you. “Ravenclaw’s do what they do best, you know.” Ominis sighed, grabbing your sleeve as he pulled you over and closer to him, seconds before you collided with another student.

“Found it!” You said to yourself, tapping your finger to the page you had flipped to. By now, the three of you had made it outside near the lake, one of the spots you hung around after classes. Sebastian plopped onto the soft grass, sighing as he watched you walk to the dock. Ominis followed you, your footsteps tapping on the wood as you walked to its edge. “I suppose you found another entry about the Giant Squid?” Ominis asked, finding a post, and using it to help him sit down, listening as you let out a hum and sat down next to him. “Indeed. Listen to this!” You said excitedly, reading from one of the entries. “Say’s here that it’s suspected that the Giant Squid is actually Godric Gryffindor!” Ominis let out a scoff, shaking his head. “There’s no way, how old would that make him?” You tapped your chin as you tried to do the math, furrowing your brows. “It was the Tenth Century, so at least a thousand years?” Ominis shook his head as he smiled. “You think a thousand-year-old wizard would want to be a giant squid? What would he even do?” You shrugged, flipping through the pages again.

“Oh, never mind.” You sighed, closing the book, and placing it beside you. Ominis turned his head, confused. “What’s the matter?” You bit the inside of your cheek as you hung a foot over the water, swinging it slightly. “It said it was unlikely, given that he, you know, died.” Ominis chuckled as he leaned back, the warm rays of the sun tickling his face. “Perhaps the squid was his pet? That would be rather interesting.” You shook your head, looking over the water as small fish swam by, small ripples forming as their fins skimmed the top. “All the books ever say is that its big, they don’t even agree about what colour it is.” You brought your foot back up, crossing your legs and you rested your arms on your knees.

Ominis sat beside you in silence, thinking. Sebastian had mentioned that there was a spot in the Slytherin common room where you could see the squid as it swam by, but since Ominis wasn’t able to confirm it, he had no idea if Sebastian was joking with him or not. There was also the problem with getting you in; you weren’t a Slytherin. You watched as Ominis’ face changed as he thought to himself, admiring the way he looked in the sun. Sebastian walked up to join you at the edge of the dock, a collection of flat pebbles in his hand that he had collected. “I bet I can skip the farthest.” He said, smirking down at you. You smirked as you got up, grabbing Ominis’ hand and bringing him up with you. “If you think you can beat me, why don’t you place a bet on it?” You teased, grabbing some of the rocks from Sebastian’s hand. He thought for a moment, trying to figure out if it was worth the loss of a Sovereign. “Perhaps. How about, instead of coins, you do some of my assignments for me when I win, Miss Knowledgeable?” You scoffed in response, nodding as you tossed a stone, skipping it five beats away. “If you win, Sallow. And that’s a big if.” Ominis smiled as he listened to the two of you as you skipped the stones, Sebastian’s voice whining each time yours skipped farther. “Oh, I didn’t say what I wanted when I won!” You paused, thinking. “How about, you have to buy me some sweets next time we go to Hogsmeade?” Sebastian sighed as he nodded, skipping another stone.

The three of you walked back to the castle, Sebastian’s face sour after you had bested him at skipping stones as you hummed to yourself beside him. Ominis walked between the two of you, still pondering to himself on how to let you see the squid you had become so fascinated with. You began to turn off to the hall that led to the Ravenclaw common room, waving to Sebastian. “I’m off, I’ll see you two tomorrow!” Sebastian waved to you, turning to head to his own common room. Ominis stood, quickly blurting out. “Meet us here around midnight, there’s something you must see.” You looked at him, puzzled. “Midnight? But that’s after hours. Where would we even go?” Ominis shook his head, “You’ll see.” With that, he turned back and walked with Sebastian, who looked at Ominis in confusion.

“What are you planning?” Sebastian asked, walking into the common room. Ominis walked toward the part of the room that showed the lake, beckoning Sebastian to follow. “You said you could see the giant squid in here, right?” Sebastian looked through the glass as he nodded. “Right, it swims by a lot at night. Why do you ask?” Ominis pointed to the glass, the cool surface smooth against his finger. “She wants to see it, so why not show her?” Ominis said, already set on his plan. Sebastian could only shake his head, “There’s no way she’d get in. Even with the password, someone will spot her.” Ominis smiled as he pointed his finger into Sebastian’s chest. “Only if she looked like a Ravenclaw. Most will be sleeping, anyway. We can give her an extra set of robes to change into so we can sneak her in, pretty simple.” Sebastian smiled, feeling that his devious actions had rubbed off on his friend after all these years. “Since when did you get so daring, Ominis?” He shrugged, turning to head back to the couch. “She loves the thing, why not let her see it when we basically have it in a giant tank?” Sebastian nodded, following Ominis as they busied themselves until the time ticked to midnight.

You waited anxiously outside the staircase, shivering slightly as a draft passed by. You wracked your brain for an explanation for why you were to meet the boys so late. You sighed as you shifted your footing, looking around for any sign of Ominis. A small light appeared at the end of the hall, and you watched as two shadows made their way over to you. You quickly ducked behind a pillar and held your breath, not wanting a professor to catch you sneaking around after hours all by yourself. “Y/n?” Ominis whispered, appearing beside you. You jumped; eyes wide as you turned your head to be face to face with the boy. Ominis felt the air shift as you jumped and the small puff of air that left your mouth as you gasped, taking a moment before realizing that he was too close. “Sorry, I didn’t know where you were.” He apologized, taking a few steps back. You settled your breathing, placing a hand to his shoulder to steady yourself. “It’s fine, just scared me a bit is all.” Sebastian popped up beside Ominis, a sly smile on his lips as he held a bundle of robes, causing you to jump slightly again. Ominis smiled as he felt your grip tighten on his shoulder, opting to take hold of your hand and leading you away from the stairs.

“What’s that you’ve got there, Sebastian?” You asked, eyeing the bundle in his arms. Sebastian smiled as he pushed the robe into your free hand, “You’ve been sorted into Slytherin tonight, time to get dressed.” You frowned, looking between the two boys. “Why?” Ominis shook his head as he let go of your hand, tugging at robe you were currently wearing. “No time, just hurry and change.” Sebastian watched, amused, as your face flushed, quickly taking of the blue and black robe; with the help of Ominis. You quickly slipped into the new robe, the green becoming a stark contrast to what you usually wore. “Now what?” You asked, watching as Sebastian took your original robe and hid it behind the pillar, pointing to it so you knew where it was. Ominis grabbed your hand once again, leading you down the hall they had come from.

“Now, you need to remember this word, ok? It’s important.” Sebastian stated, and you nodded, confused. “The door needs a password, or else you can’t get in. At the moment, it’s Blighters, so don’t forget it.” You nodded, repeating the password to yourself. “Blighters, got it. But why do I need a password?” You asked, furrowing your brows. Ominis chuckled as he walked listening to Sebastian sigh. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Ravenclaw? Smart?” You nodded, frowning. “We’re sneaking you into the Slytherin common room, obviously.” You sighed, shaking your head. “I was sort of hoping you weren’t going to say that. We could get into serious trouble, you know.” You stated, looking around as you walked. Sebastian scoffed, “Obviously. Look, it wasn’t even my idea this time. You can thank Smitten over there for that.” You looked at Ominis, who turned his head and nodded, a slight pink dusting his cheeks. You playfully slapped Sebastian’s arm, ignoring the nickname he had given Ominis. “You’ve corrupted our boy!”

You walked up to the entrance of the Slytherin common room, eyes wide as you looked at the details around it. Sebastian and Ominis stood beside you, watching in amusement. “I just say the password then?” You asked, turning to Ominis, who nodded. You took a breath, watching the snakes that had settled around the door frame. “Blighters.” The two snakes began to move, and you watched in amazement as they seemed to just slither along the wall, revealing the door to the Slytherin common room. You smiled as you peaked inside, unsure if you were able to walk in. Sebastian walked in first, turning and gesturing for you to follow. You looked over to Ominis, who in turn grabbed your hand and led you in.

You spun around, taking in the details that surrounded you. Although it felt like a cellar, it felt cozy at the same time, the warm light from a nearby fireplace casted soft shadows on your face. “This place looks amazing! And you get to live here?” You breathed, walking over to paintings and artworks on the wall. Ominis smiled as he nodded while Sebastian began to walk to a couch. “Yep, coziest place in the castle, if you ask me.” He said as he plopped himself on the cushions. Ominis walked over to you, grabbing your sleeve and leading you to another part of the room. “Have a look at this.” He said, bringing you up to the window of water. You gasped, watching as fish swam by, the lake just on the other side of the thick glass. Ominis sat down in one of the many seats beside the glass, often used to observe the life of the lake. You followed and sat beside him, still watching the water as the life inside buzzed about. “This is amazing!” You breathed, a large smile growing on your lips. Ominis smiled in return, listening to the soft gasps of amazement you let out each time a fish swam close to the glass. You turned to him; eyes wide as you thought about earlier.

“Can you see the squid from in here?” You asked, almost in a whisper. Ominis nodded and smiled as he gestured to the glass. “I remembered Sebastian mentioning it, so I wanted to sneak you in so you could see it. It usually passes around this time, actually.” You smiled as you wrapped your arms around Ominis’ neck, a string of thanks leaving your lips as you held him tightly. Ominis was caught off guard, but quickly wrapped his arms around you in response, smiling as he pressed his face into the crook of your neck. Sebastian smiled as he watched, glancing over to the lake as a tentacle rose up. “There it is, y/n! Look!” He shouted, pointing at the glass. You released Ominis and quickly made your way to the glass window, watching in awe as the squid slowly rose in the water.

“Ominis, come here!” You shouted, grabbing for his hand as you brought him over. Ominis looked at you confused, unable to see what you were seeing. “It’s giant! Bound to be at least two meters! And the books were all right, it’s just different colours!” You described the squid to Ominis, who began to form a picture of it in his head as you continued. “It’s a mix of colours, it’s kind of red, maybe pink? But it has spots where it’s white, and its arms are different colours too!” The squid continued to swim around, its long arms propelling it around as it seemingly performed for you. “I can see its beak too! It looks the size of Sebastian’s head.” “Are you saying I have a big head?” Ominis chuckled as the image grew clearer as you spoke. You watched as the squid turned, showing off one of its eyes. You gasped, watching as it flickered from yellow to a pale green, one that matched Ominis’ eyes. “Ominis! It just copied your eye colour! That’s amazing!” You grabbed his hand in excitement, watching as the squid placed a tentacle to the glass, its suckers pressed against the glass, almost demonstrating to you.

Ominis felt his face heat up as you squeezed his hand, excitement lacing your voice as you began to recall information from one of the books you had read. “Apparently, it’s sort of…domesticated. Like it was a pet a long time ago. One of the authors said they fell of a boat in the lake once, and that the squid pushed them back to the surface and to the boat, like it was helping them.” Ominis nodded, listening to every word you spoke. Sebastian had retreated back to the couch after you had made fun of his head, having seen the squid multiple times since he was sorted into Slytherin.

You watched the squid for a few more minutes, until it slowly swam away in search of food. You yawned, leaning your head onto Ominis’ shoulder for support. “I’ll walk you back to your common room, so you don’t fall asleep on the way there.” He offered, and you nodded, making your way back to the door, waving to Sebastian. The two of you walked down the halls, silent yawns escaping your lips every now and then. “I apologize for keeping you up so late,” Ominis said, breaking the silence. You shook your head as you smiled, grabbing his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s all right. You let me see the giant squid, and I loved it.” You had made it to the staircase leading up to your common room, and you picked up your robes from the ground. You changed into them and offered the Slytherin robe back to Ominis, who shook his head. “I have other robes; you should keep it in case I sneak you in again.” You smiled as your cheeks heated up, letting out a soft thank you.

The two of you stood there in silence for a moment, unable to turn and walk away from each other. You looked down at your feet as you thought back to the squid, thinking about how you may have never seen it if it wasn’t for Ominis. Quickly, you looked back up at him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ominis’ brows furrowed in confusion at the sudden touch, but quickly replaced it with shock as you softly pressed your lips to his cheek. You smiled against his skin as you whispered a final “thank you,” before pulling away. You watched in amusement as he was left speechless, fiddling with his sleeve as he tried to find the words to say. “Again, some time.” He muttered, and you smiled, leaning over, and placing another kiss on his cheek before heading up the steps. “Some time soon, I hope.”

#ominis gaunt imagine #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis x reader #ominis gaunt #reader insert #ravenclaw reader #ominis gaunt fluff #harry potter imagine #hogwarts legacy #harry potter #fluff #hogwarts legacy imagine #sebastian sallow #Great Lake Harry Potter #i think the giant squid would be so cute #if it was a pet it had to belong to either Helga or Godric #it helped collin when he fell into the lake??#a sweetie pie

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