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#barty thinks he doesn’t matter when he actually matters to regulus most of all. they both just didn’t know it yet
resident-gay-bitch · 2 months
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Regulus’ heart breaks as he stands there, just behind the willow tree, watching James and Sirius roll around on the grass, play fighting in their own little world.
Of course he left him. Of course James would pick Sirius over Regulus, wouldn’t everyone? Regulus has never been picked first. Not once.
Not by his parents, who ignored him throughout his entire childhood to focus on framing Sirius as the perfect son and heir.
Not by Sirius, who ran away, picking James to be his brother and not bothering to ask Regulus to tag along.
Not in team games, where students would pick through the class one by one, and Regulus would be one of the last few standing.
Not by his friends, who all would chose their partners, or the other people in the group first. He joined last, it’s only fair.
Not even by the lizard who inhabits his dorm room, who picks the three other boys to crawl over to first, every time.
And certainly not by James.
He thought, for once, the cycle might be broken. He thought, for once, someone would pick him first. He’d get chosen over someone else, just once.
He should have known better.
He should have known that the moment Sirius found out about he and James sneaking around in dark corridors and whispering sweet words to each other, James would have to pick.
He was foolish to think James would pick him over Sirius. He was foolish to think that James would pick him over anyone.
And as Lily, with her fiery red hair pulled back into braids, comes marching over to the boys, snatching James up by his collar and earning herself a cheek kiss, Regulus realises he should have seen that coming too.
Not even two weeks has passed since Regulus placed second to his brother, as he does in fucking everything, and James has already moved on.
Regulus would never be anyone’s first choice, he should have known better.
He knows better now.
It’s not until three months later that Regulus finally shatters from it. The crushing weight of never being enough, never being someone’s first choice.
It’s Slytherin against Ravenclaw for the quidditch cup, and there in the crowd, he spots his brother and James.
They’re decked out in silver and blue, and they don’t look at Regulus, not even once.
Barty finds him in the showers, once the entire teams cleared out. He’s dressed in a confusing mix of blue and green, for his own house and his friends.
Hes crying. Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever cried this hard before. The water is pouring down over his head, and he’s still fully dressed in his uniform.
Slytherin lost. He lost them the match, because he was more focused on trying to catch James or Sirius looking his way just once than getting the snitch. They didn’t, and he lost.
Barty clearly doesn’t know how to handle this. The lowest he’s ever seen Regulus would have been prior to an exam he stressed himself out about. Besides, Barty has always been a little awkward when handling emotions.
Regulus tries to tell him to leave him be, he really does. But his words get all chocked up in his throat and he can’t get out much more than a wail or a sob. It fucking hurts.
“What’s the matter, Black?” Barty asks, switching the water off before crouching down in front of him, “What’s got your knickers in a twist, hey?”
“I-I’ll never be… good enough.” Regulus confesses. He’s never said it out loud before. He’s not a vulnerable person, he doesn’t do this. He knows better than to let out his sob story to someone, they can hold it over him one day. But he can’t help himself, he finds. He needs to get it off his chest before it rips him open, “I’ll never… b-be enough.”
Barty’s silent for a while, clearly unsure of what to say. It only makes Regulus sob more. He pulls his knees up to his chest and hides his head in his hand, and he fucking cries. He’s sure if anyone’s still out side, they’d hear it, but Barty locked the door when he came in. At least that’s something.
“I can never be enough.” Regulus sobs again, and this time Barty kicks into action.
He’s still awkward about it, Regulus can tell, he probably has better things to do than listen to Regulus cry as well, which only makes this worse. He pushes Regulus’ sopping hair out of his face and pats his face dry with the end of his Slytherin scarf before hauling them both to their feet.
“Who told ya that?” Barty asks, pulling his wand out to try his hand at a drying spell. It mostly works, so Regulus can’t complain.
“I don’t have to be told something to know it, Barty.” Regulus sniffles, wiping his eyes. They sting, and he knows he looks terrible, but there’s no use in worrying about that now.
“Well… I think, if you haven’t been told, it can’t be true.” Barty shrugs, tucking his wand back in his pocket.
“Fine.” Regulus nods, “My entire fucking family has told me then, on several occasions.”
“Oh.” Barty stills, and he has a look on his face of utter confusion.
Regulus shakes his head and goes to walk for the door, but he winces when he puts pressure on his ankle. He fell on it weirdly, midway through the match when he was knocked off his broom. It didn’t bother him before, but it does now.
“You hurt?” Barty asks, and Regulus nods.
Silently, Barty reaches out and wraps his arm around Regulus’ waist. He flinches at first, startled by the slightly intimate touch, but then Barty pulls Regulus to shift his weight, and he relaxes into it a little. Together, they walk back across the field, Barty carrying Regulus’ broom, and half of Regulus’ weight, and make their way back to the castle.
It’s oddly silent.
It’s always quiet, between them. Regulus isn’t much of a talker, and when Barty runs out of stupid things to say he goes quiet and people watches. He usually watches Regulus, since they’re always together, something that took a while to get used to. Barty really likes to watch Regulus read, it makes him a little self conscious of any strange expressions he might be making.
But it’s a strange sort of quiet now. It’s silent. Regulus isn’t talking, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he feels ashamed for breaking down like that. He doesn’t just break down. Men don’t fucking break down. Especially not in front of people like that. He feels embarrassed that Barty found him.
Well, he’s grateful it was Barty over anyone else, seeing as though they’re supposed to be close friends, Merlin forbid Sirius found him. But it’s still uncomfortable.
The only friend any of them have that likes to talk about feelings is Pandora. Regulus assumed this was because she was a girl, at first, however, Dorcas doesn’t like talking about them either. Pandoras just strange like that, she cares about people in odd ways. Sometimes it’s nice, but mostly it’s terrifying.
Barty looks like he wants to talk. He also looks like he wants to watch Regulus, but every time he turns his head to do so he probably sees the red rimming of Regulus’ eyes and finds something much uglier than usual. It only makes Regulus feel all the more ashamed.
Barty starts whistling. It’s not his regular noise filling whistles either, it’s his uncomfortable whistling. He doesn’t want to be here, Regulus can tell. Merlin, he needs to get away.
“Going back to your dorm?” Barty asks as they round a corridor in the castle.
Regulus nods, “Is Evan-“
“He’s there.” Barty says, “Cas too… dunno about Dora, she’s always off with the fairies. If she’s not hugging Dorcas about their loss then I dunno where she is.”
Regulus goes tense, “I don’t want them to see me.”
Barty stops and swallows, “Okay… how about my dorm then? My roommates are all down by the lake. They snagged some firewhisky.”
“Okay.” Regulus agrees, because he has no where else to go.
Once settled in Barty’s dorm, Regulus changes into more comfortable clothes. Plaid pyjama pants and a green knitted sweater he knows is his own that went “missing” last year. He doesn’t question it, Barty’s strange like that. He likes to collect things, and especially Regulus’ things.
They’re both sitting on his bed, Regulus tucked up under the covers and Barty sitting on the other end. He’s flipping through one of his dorm mates magazines and whistling to himself, his regular whistling again. It calms Regulus a bit.
Lying there, stuck with his own thoughts, he can’t hide from the images that pop into his mind every time he closes his eyes. All of Sirius and James, all of them examples where Regulus placed last.
There’s so many it’s hard to filter out which ones are new and which ones are old.
They all hurt just the same.
“Whatcha crying about now?” Barty asks, looking over at Regulus. He didn’t even realise he was crying again, but he is. “Did I do something wrong? I’ll fix it, whatever. Get ya whatever you need, promise.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Regulus sniffles, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. Barty’s stuck posters up there, muggle ones of girls on motorcycles and punk bands, just to piss off his dad. “I’m just…”
“Go on.” Barty asks, sitting up now, cross legged and attentive. “There’s no one here, just me. Promise I’ll never tell.”
Regulus sighs and fiddles with his fingers, “I don’t need your pity, Barty. I’ve survived this long, I can survive some more.”
“Yeah, but you’re crying.” He says, and Regulus glares at him. “What? I ain’t seen you cry before, it’s weird. I know it’s really gotta be botherin ya if you’re crying like this. What would Dora say?”
“She’d probably try to hug me and make me cry more.” Regulus offers.
“Do you want… me to- uhm, hug you?”
“No.” Regulus glares at him. “I don’t want your pity, I said.”
“It’s not my pity, Regulus!” Barty splutters, “It’s a bloody hug. Dora says there really good for ya! I love her hugs, you know. Get ‘em all the time. I- I know I’m no Pandora but… I mean, I can offer ya a real bony one.”
Regulus snickers and looks back up at the roof, “No thanks. That’s weird.”
“Is it?” Barty asks, “Cause… cause I’ve been listening to what she’s sayin and… I think it would be nice.”
“If I hugged you right now?” Regulus raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah… and other times.” Barty shrugged, “I dunno, might be dumb but… we’re supposed to be friends, ya know? Friends hug. Cas hates ‘em, unless they’re from Dora, but Evan and I hug sometimes.”
“You’re being weird.”
“I’m not trying to.” Barty frowned, “I just… I care about you, I suppose.”
Regulus swallowed. The only person who’s said that before has been Pandora, but she cares about everyone.
Barty… well, he doesn’t care about much at all. He cares about so little, that Regulus thought the only thing he probably cared about was pissing off his dad and Pandora herself. But apparently that’s not true.
Regulus doesn’t want to believe it. He doesn’t want to hurt himself by believing that he could be one of the very few things Barty has come to care about.
But they’re friends, and Barty watches him a lot, and collects Regulus’ things, and helps him when he cries, and offers to hug him.
Now Regulus is crying for a whole other reason.
“One hug?” Barty offers, sticking out his arms, “I’ll make it so quick and if you hate it we don’t ever have to do it again.”
Regulus contemplates it. He doesn’t remember the last time he was hugged.
He knows the last good one was Pandora, maybe last year, when they were leaving for summer. Quick and carefree. The last bad one, that was James. Not that it was bad at the time, but it hurts to think about now. It was false stability and ended in heartbreak. The last time he was hugged to be soothed though? His mind takes him back to Sirius, when they were still little.
“Fine.” Regulus mutters, sitting up under the covers, “But make it quick.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Barty nods and moves in, “Sorry if I’m uncomfortable.”
Regulus nods and sits very still as Barty wraps himself around Regulus’ shoulders. It’s awkward, to say the least. They’ve never done this before, and they’re going about it very strangely.
“Reg… you gotta relax a bit.”
“How am I supposed to relax when I have a boney man attached to me?”
Barty scoffs and squeezes him a little tighter, “Just put your head on my shoulder, orrite. Relax, just for a second.”
Regulus huffs but does it anyway. He leans his head over to rest on Barty’ shoulder and drops his own, and… oh, it’s nice. It’s actually really, really nice. Barty’s soothing his back, and twisting his finger around the end of Regulus’ hair. And it’s nice.
He can’t even feel Barty’s ribs poking him or anything. It’s really, really cosy.
Regulus pushes him away, wiping his tears.
Barty gives him a guilty smile, “Terrible?”
“No.” Regulus sniffles, “It was actually grossly nice.”
Barty snickers and nods his head, “Well, if you ever need another hug, I’ll give ya as many as ya kneed.”
“Thanks.”
“No problems, Black.”
Regulus fiddles with the ends of his sleeve, refusing to look up at Barty, who he knows is sitting there and staring. He’s so quiet, when he stares. It’s as if any noise Barty makes would ruin his ability to set his full attention solely on Regulus.
It’s so strange. He’s so strange.
“You can’t tell anyone.” Regulus mumbles.
“What, that we hugged?” Barty laughs.
“No.” He scoffs, “What I said before, wanker. In the showers.”
“Oh.” Barty nods, “Well, I wasn’t gonna anyway. Course not, Reg. I know you. I know you hate people knowing your business.”
Regulus nods, “You really wouldn’t have told anyone? Not even Dora?”
“Cross my heart.” Barty smiles, doing just that, “I know she’s my best friend, but you are too. It means something, you know?”
“Oh.” Regulus mumbles.
Barty can only laugh at him, and Regulus turns a little pink.
“Can I… no, don’t worry about it.”
“No, go on.” Barty offers, “It’s just you and me.”
Regulus sighs, “I just… I’m tired of not being good enough, Barty.”
“I dunno what you mean, Black. You’re bloody brilliant.” Barty says, flopping down on his back like a starfish, “You shoulda been in Ravenclaw with your smarts, and not to mention your skills as a seeker. You’re top of the class, Reggie, course you’re good enough.”
Regulus thinks Barty will never understand how much that singular sentence fucking means to him, even if he tries to explain it. It stings, how good it feels to hear it. He never has. Not once.
“Not just in school, Barty. Everywhere else.” Regulus mumbles, wiping his teary eyes. They’re stinging again, and he really doesn’t want to cry, but he knows he will. It’s so stupid. “Everything else. I’m just…”
Barty rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow to look at Regulus, “Like, with your family?”
Regulus nods, chewing on a hangnail.
“Yeah, I get that.” Barty sighs, “Is this about… those who must not be named?”
Regulus closes his eyes to compose himself, and nods again.
“Right.” Barty says, “Did Sirius do something? You know he barked at me the other day, like a fucking dog. So I’ll go hex him, happily, if you want?”
“No, Barty. Don’t.” Regulus shook his head, “He didn’t… I… they both just…”
“Go on.” Barty said softly, softer than Regulus has ever heard him speak before as he slowly sits up to get level with him.
“I’ll always be second best.” Regulus mutters, and then he starts crying again. Hot tears down his cheeks, redness in his eyes, stuttering over himself as he shakes.
“Oh, Reg…”
“He- he just picked James, over his own blood brother. Every time it’s James and… and I… and James just… I loved him. I loved him Barty, I was in love with him. I think part of me still is, but… he, he picked Sirius too. He picked Sirius, and Lily, because she’s just… she’s so pretty, and smart, and she’s got everything that I’ve got but, she’s just… she’s just so much better.” Regulus heaved, pressing a hand to his chest, “Everywhere, I see it everywhere. Not just with them, but mostly, I- I’ll never… I’ve never been someone’s first choice, Barty. Ever. And I don’t think I ever will be. No one picks me just because they can.”
His shoulders shake as he cries, his breath short and stuttered. When Barty reaches out in offer for another hug, Regulus falls forward into his arms, head pressed against his friends chest.
It feels so safe there, to be cradled in Barty’s arms, it’s warm. He cries a puddle through his sweater, but Barty doesn’t seem to mind.
“Shh, Reggie.” Barry sooths, lightly scratching his nails over Regulus’ back and sifting his fingers through his hair. “Just breathe, love. Just breathe.”
Regulus follows his command, taking deep breaths and timing them with the rise and fall of Barty’s chest beneath his head. He relaxes there, letting his eyes fall shut, and Barty continues to rub his back and play with his hair.
“I’m so tired.” Regulus mumbles through the last of his tears, “I’m going to fall asleep if you keep doing that.”
“That’s okay.” Barty laughs softly, “How about we lie down?”
“Isn’t that weird?” Regulus asks.
“Isn’t everything I do weird?”
Regulus shrugs and follows when Barty pulls him down to lay against the pillows. Barty slips under the covers with him, and pulls Regulus’ head against his chest again. Bartys heart is beating faster than it should be, but Regulus ignores it and wiggles around until he’s comfortable.
Once again, Barty strokes his back and scratches his scalp, and folds himself into Regulus a little.
He presses a little kiss to the top of Regulus’ head, and his heartbeat speeds up rapidly.
Regulus tenses, “Why is your heart beating like that, Barty? Are you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable?” He questions, already coming up with a million terrible reasons for it. He’s been so stupidly selfish about his own problems he didn’t even notice how uncomfortable he’s made his supposed best friend.
“No…” Barty half follows as Regulus sits up, leaning back on his elbows, “No, Reg. Obviously not.”
Regulus’ shoulders relax a little, “Well, then what is it?”
Barty looks away, “Come on, don’t tease, Reggie. I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m not teasing.” He shakes his head, “What’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem, obviously.” Barty snickers, “Come on, we can just… we can forget about it by tomorrow if it’s weird.
“What’s weird, Crouch?” Regulus pressed, “I don’t understand.”
Barty looked at him for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in the middle, and his mouth slowly fell open, “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” Regulus asked.
“About me…”
“About you… what?” Regulus shook his head.
“About…” Barty sighed, shaking his head in delirium. He laughed, at himself, mostly, which only confused Regulus more, “Everyone said it was obvious. I just thought we both… I thought we had an understanding. That we’d both ignore it and go on with our lives.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Barty?” Regulus asked, shoving at his chest.
“Oi!” Barty snickered, “That I… well… I thought you knew you’d be my first choice for everything.”
Regulus froze, scowling at him for a moment, “Don’t tease-“
“Not teasing, Reggie.” Barty looked away, taking a short breath. “Look, if it’s… if it’s too weird, I get it. But, I’m okay pretending, if you want.”
“P-pretending?” Regulus whispered.
“Yeah.” He shrugged, sitting up and loosely hugging his knees, “Pretending I’m not in love with you.”
Regulus didn’t have an answer for that. He was truely wound speechless. Barty… loves him?
“I meant it… I’d pick- I’d pick you over everything else in this world. I really mean it, Reggie. I promise.” Barty mumbled, “You’re my first pick, always have been.”
Regulus’ heart stops in his chest for a moment. His throat hurts and his eyes sting again. Regulus doesn’t think he’s cried as much as he has today through his entire life, including when he was a baby.
He can’t help it, crying again. Because Regulus believes him. Barty’s always been devastatingly honest, even at the worst of times. So why would he lie about this? And he looks so earnest, sounds it too. He sounds like he really, truely means it.
No ones ever picked Regulus first, besides Barty Crouch Jr, who has a collection of Regulus’ things, and who stares at him unashamedly, and consoles Regulus when he cries even if it makes him uncomfortable.
And Regulus has been too self centred to ever notice.
But Barty is in love with him, and by the sounds of it he has been for a while. Apparently everyone knows it.
He thinks about it for a moment, while he sobs and cries and heaves. Barty does all that he can to soothe him, reaching out to wipe away tears, and hold him, and rub his arms and back.
Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever felt as safe as he doesn’t when he’s around Barty. Which is an odd thing to realise, because Barty is kind of a loose cannon. He’s violent, and angry, and snarky and rude. But with Regulus he’s always… well, he’s funny, and he can still be a little rude sometimes, but he’s also kind and generous and a little odd.
Regulus now realises all that oddness he’s noticed is just things Barty does that signals he’s in love with him. But Regulus has never noticed, he’s never looked to see how Barty doesn’t do all these very things with other people.
He’s Barty’s first choice.
And now that he thinks of it, Barty might just be his.
He’s the only person Regulus trusts to see him like this. Not even Pandora could, as much as he loves her. Regulus just hates being vulnerable. But he supposed it’s a little different with Barty, because he’s always been a little vulnerable with Regulus.
It’s comforting, to say the least, to have confirmation that he’s wanted. That he’s cared for. That he’s somebodies first choice.
And Barty loves him, which is strange. He’s never looked at Barty in that way before. And sure, Barty makes plenty of jokes about finding Regulus fit and wanting to snog him and so on and so forth, but he’s never thought too deeply about it.
He does that with other people, doesn’t he?
Now that Regulus thinks about it, he definitely doesn’t do it as much as he does it to Regulus.
Barty pulls away, rubbing up and down Regulus’ biceps, as he gives a nervous smile. It’s crooked, like most of Barty’s smiles, but this time Regulus really notices it.
“I’m sorry if it’s weird, I dunno what to do, Reggie.” Barty tries, “How do I stop you crying?”
Regulus sniffled and blinked his tears away slowly, refusing to cry anymore. His cheeks are all wet and sticky, and his eyes fucking ache, as well as his throat, but he’s not thinking about that.
“Do you really mean that?” Regulus sniffles, and he blinks away a few more tears, “Me being your first choice?”
“Of course, why would I lie about that, Reg. It clearly means a lot to you- I just… I thought you knew.”
Regulus scrunches up his nose, “Well, why would I cry about how I’m no one’s first choice if I knew I was yours?”
Barty’s quiet for a moment. He retracts his hands and ducks his head to mumble, “I just thought… well I thought I didn’t really matter, at the end of it all.” He shrugged, “I’d do anything for you- I already have, you know, and… I just… I thought you knew. And I thought it didn’t matter to you because… well, I’m the same, I suppose. I don’t think anyone’s picked me first either.”
“You still… even thinking that I just- I just didn’t care about you, or your feelings or… or anything at all, you still…” Regulus scrunched up his nose, ducking his head to catch Barty’s eye, “You still would have picked me first?”
Barty nodded, “Done anything for you.”
“Oh.” Regulus whispered, shaking his head, “Barty…”
“Yeah?” Barty asked, swallowing a large lump in his throat.
Regulus kisses him. No thoughts, no warnings, no nothing at all. He just leans forward and kisses him right on the mouth.
Barty pulls away first, almost immediately, wide eyed and startled, “What the fuck did you do that for?”
“I don’t know.” Regulus muttered, touching his lips, “You just… I… you love me, and… fuck, Barty. You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah.” Barty nodded, there’s water in his eyes now, and Regulus can tell he’s trying to hold it back, “And you just kissed me. Please don’t- don’t do that. I’m… I can’t handle that, Reg. I can handle us being friends, even though it’s driving me mad, but… I just- I can’t-“
“Well, don’t you want to be more?”
“Fucking hell, Regulus.” Barty leers back.
“What?” Regulus scoffs.
“You can’t just fucking… don’t say that.” He shakes his head, taking a moment to compose himself, “Don’t be stupid, orrite. I can’t fucking… I love you, Reggie. I can’t handle… possibilities because I’m just… I’m gonna drive myself crazy thinking about them. And that’s not good.”
“I’ve never had someone love me before, Barty.” Regulus whispers, “I’ve never had someone… I want- I want to chose you too. You’re my best friend, and I already do choose you. But I want to do it more. I want to… please?”
“I don’t understand, Reg.” Barty whispered back.
Regulus took his hand, smoothing his fingers over Barty’s rigid knuckles. They’re rough and scarred, just as they always are. Just as Regulus knows them to be.
“I don’t really either, Barty.” He admits, “I never knew you felt that way, and I’ve never thought about it- you- us. I’ve never thought about us like that before, but I… I can picture it.”
Barty closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Barty. I don’t want to lead you on. I want to try. Don’t you want to try?”
Barty keeps his eyes sealed shut and he shakes his head no, “What happens when you get bored of me? What- what happens when Potter comes crawling back to you? What happens when you realise I’m fucking… more insane than you thought? I’d- don’t tempt me, Regulus, because I meant what I said, I’d do anything for you.” Barty’s breath trembles, “I’d kill him, I’d kill them both. I’d kill all of them, just to make you happy. So you never feel like a second choice to them ever again- I- I mean it, Regulus.”
“I know.” Regulus breaths, and it scares him, what Barty’s saying, because he does know. It’s not just words. But those words aren’t the part that scare him, it’s the fact that he likes it that does. It makes him want. “I know, Barty. And I know that if I hurt you, truly, truly hurt you like this, you’d make my life a living hell. I know.”
“What about Potter?” Barty asks, trying to mask tears of his own, “Don’t you love him?”
“Maybe.” Regulus admits, regretfully so, “But I don’t want to. He’d never… he could never love me the way you could anyway. The way that I need.”
“And how do you need it?”
“To be your first choice.” Regulus whispered, “How do you need it, Barty?”
Barty took a deep breath, thinking about it for a moment. He looked up at Regulus with a pout and hopeful eyes, “I just want to be good enough for love before anything else.”
Regulus smiles, “You are.”
Barty shakes his head.
“You are.” Regulus confirms, “To me, you are.”
Barty sniffles, “Do you love me… like that?”
Regulus sighs, “N… no.” He scolds himself for the truth, because it seems to shatter Barty’s heart to pieces. “But I want to, Barty… I want to love you the way you do me. And I think I will. You just have to let me.”
“Really?” Barty sobs.
Regulus nods, “Will you let me?”
Barty nods and leans back in, and Regulus kisses him again. They both had wet cheeks, and headaches, and heartaches from crying, but they kiss anyway. And Regulus cries again, for hopefully the last time, because Barty kisses like he never wants to stop.
Regulus has never been kissed like that before.
Regulus has never been loved before.
He thinks with Barty, he might just be enough.
★ ★ ★
Bartylus shippers unite.
This one’s so angsty I’m sorry but I can’t help it and yerr Reggie kinda has misogynistic views which is gross but it’s the fucking 70’s and look at his parents. I USUALLY write them all to be better than that and not arseholes but I wanted to make this one hurt.
Also I don’t think I’ve written from Reggie’s pov before sooooo that was interesting.
Idk I liked this. Let me know your thoughts :)
Read here on ao3
If you want to read more of my stuff you can find it all here :))
Tagging everyone that expressed interest in the angsty bartylus one shot lmao: @lapassemirroir @mayflywrites @garlicbread4ever @moonyluv-s @managingmischeif @stxr-bxy @the-lionsheart @crimsonlovebartylus
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closedownregulus · 2 months
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Prompt: Feb 14th - Lips | 1183 words | @jegulus-microfic part two , three , four and five :)
Barty Crouch is an idiot. The first time James came to this conclusion he was only 11 years old and Barty was refusing to give him back his football cause “football is not for losers, weirdo”, since then, the thought crosses his mind from time to time – Barty Crouch is an idiot. Not only an idiot, but also stupid, not only fucking stupid, but also deadass ugly, not only ugly, he is also an arrogant piece of shit, not only that, he’s also a- argh, James could go on and on about all of Barty Crouch’s flaws, he could go for hours, days, damn, even weeks if someone gave him the time of day to do so. Honestly, he can’t think of one good thing to say about the guy, nonetheless, Regulus’ been kissing him senseless for the past 7 minutes – not that James is counting or anything – seeming fucking dead set on finding Barty’s hidden qualities, if he has any, in the inside of the boy's mouth. Not that James cares that his best friend’s baby brother has been snogging the most annoying man to ever walk earth for 7 minutes and 36 fucking seconds, like they´re stuck in a game of 7 minutes in heaven or something, or, more accurately to James, 7 minutes and 49 seconds in the deepest pit of hell – not that he’s counting (whatever).
Part of him, the hopeful part, is kind of holding on to the idea that this is some weird kind of practical joke Regulus is playing on Barty, he knows James' football story, maybe that’s the way he’s found to revenge him, making Barty fall in love with him and then leaving the guy tormented by the memory of a kiss with a boy he’ll never be able to have playing in loop in his head. Part of him, the protective part, hates that fucking Barty Crouch has even the memory of a kiss to play in loop in his head, part of him wants to yank it off. Part of him, ugh, part of him is scared that Regulus is not some boy Barty can’t have. Part of him – the possessive, petty and kinda insane part – hates that it’s Barty instead of James, who has known Regulus for years, he’d know what to do to make him feel good, he’s sure he’d figure out the right buttons to push in a matter of seconds. Instead, it’s another person in what should be his place, touching Regulus in places James never will, running his tongue over his lips and tasting Regulus in ways that James will never be able to – he hates to think about the sounds that he’s dragging out of Regulus, sounds that he’s getting to hear, swallow, save for later. Fuck. James might kill the fucking guy.
It’s not like James wants to be in Barty’s place - or whatever, it’s more of a protective big brother's best friend thing, he’d rather kill himself than actually kiss Sirius’ baby brother, it’s literally the most disgusting thought that could ever cross his mind ever, literally. Which, if he’s being totally honest, it does from time, but it only causes him to experience the deepest feeling of disgust, he can literally feel his stomach doing weird loops and stuff, which can only be translated to pure and utter repulse, literally. It’s not like it’s a recurring thing or anything, it’s just that he’s a fucking 17-year-old, of course the idea of kissing people he’s always hanging out with is gonna come to him out of fucking nowhere. And like, Regulus does have this freakish pink lips that look really soft and it's kinda hard to not stare at them when he's been going on and on for hours about some book he's recently read, specially when he keeps biting his lower lip every five minutes before saying the next sentence. Not that the thought crosses his mind in a weird, out of ordinary, creepy constancy or anything, really. It's just, you know, your ordinary 17 year old boy next door normal amount of thinking about kissing your best friend’s brother – which he doesn’t by the away, just, rarely, sometimes, in a daily basis, rarely.
The point is, James is Sirius’ best friend, and Regulus is Sirius’ baby brother, James remember him as a toddler, with his big grey eyes and messy dark hair all over the place, so of course he’s gonna be concerned about Regulus’ well being and not want him to snog some dumbass just cause he found the free time to do so. He wants Regulus to be with someone that is worthy of him, not that James can think of anyone that managed to meet the criteria so far, or that ever will. Well, if he stops to think about it, in an ideal world Regulus would grow old alone and a virgin, but is that really so bad? James will visit him everyday and they’ll play videogames and do star wars marathons. Fuck it. He’ll even listen to Regulus talk about his pretentious books and let him put his depressing emo music, he already does that all the time anyway, he might even sing some of the lyrics that he’s already learned from having to listen to it every time they hang out. Well, and if from time to time Regulus happens to feel kinda alone and horny, James would even be ok to helping him out with that, you know, in the sole interest of keeping him away from losers. If that’s what it takes to save Sirius from having to endure life as the brother in law of some dumb, ugly idiot, James doesn’t mind sacrificing himself for his best friend, call him a fucking altruist if you will.
James bets Barty Crouch has never touched a single episode of Star Wars, or a book in that matter, maybe he can’t even read anything with more than fifty pages or pay attention to any movie that's longer than one hour. Also, he doesn’t look like the kind of guy who’ll be able to appreciate Regulus’ music and try to actually understand and connect with the lyrics, which is the most important part to Regulus, he’ll probably try and change subjects every time Regulus tries to explain his interpretation. Basically, James is pretty sure they don’t even have anything in common to talk about, they won’t even be able to have a proper conversation! What are they gonna do? Just kiss the whole time they’re together? Every single minute without stopping so they can avoid awkward silence breaks? Ha.
The thought makes James want to instantly puke.
He hates this party, but he doesn’t want to, actually, he can’t, leave Regulus here with this idiot to do to him whatever the hell he pleases out of James sight. Fuck. He doesn’t even want to think about that. He hates absolutely everything that’s happening right now, but, most of all, he hates Barty Crouch. The reason? Barty Crouch is an idiot.
And he stole James’ football.
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avesgraveyard · 1 year
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Avery, oh my god I think I have a love-hate relationship with this chapter like I love it but I cried through most of it and it frickin hurt 
(I think I need to stop relating so much to Evan lolll-)
I cried through like the first fourth or third or this and then I was like oh maybe things are getting better but NO back to tears
DORCAS I LOVE HER SM I WANT HER SHES JUST SO WHOLESOME AND KIND AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE DORLENE CHAPTER DORCAS MAKES ME FEEL THINGS
“Me and Barty? Talk about feelings? Our feelings? Yeah, that’ll work out.” me with literally everyone ever lolll
Evans getting so frustrated and worked up over this and it hurts so much WHY Avery why do you have have to make me FEEL THESE THINGS 
“This being the monumentally huge crush I’ve had on my best friend for– what– years now? The one I thought I had under control?”😭😭😭
stupid pretty Italian boys and their wicked heart-stealing ways.                                     This whole thing made me cry so much but this made me laugh for some reason-
But poor Evan baby oh my god how he’s loved Evan for years and Barty never noticed him like that and that’s fine or whatever sad but okay
But then Evan felt like if he did all THAT to himself it would Barty love him baby no and that no one noticed for awhile until Dorcas but then how she helps him through it and Reggie when noticed god these friends make me so soft but that Barty didn’t really notice or didn’t seem too 😭😭😭😭😭 
No, Evan. I think it makes you human.” DORCASSSS
Okayyyy Barty needs to be careful with ev like I get why ur mad but be carefulll but I guess he kinda does deserve to be angry to an extent bc like he just realized he’s in love with Evan??? And then he ran off but evan kinda did too but also evan almost kissed him??? How’s Barty supposed to take that???
Lolll evan one paragraph he’s actually kinda scared and then the next- hmmmm Barty needs a haircut 
if Regulus was single– noooooooooooo
Evan making valid points tryna protect himself but he also just hurting them both 
“ Please , Evan, just one. I’ll make it good for you, promise.”😢
Barty switched so fast from SCREW YOU LETS TALK to we should kiss 😏
and ev’s running again….. 
When he punches Pandora plsssss
I thought you were– like fucking robbing me or something. EVANNNN
Marlene. Ring so cheerful not even noticing pandoras gushing blood at firstttt
“Subtle, James,” like always!!!
Silence. Evan looks up. Not one person is looking him in the eye, in fact, they’re all looking at his chest. Evan glances down. He can’t see anything. He glances back up. No one's eyes have moved.
“What? Have I got something on me?” He looks back down, then up again.
Barty is the first one to break the silence, standing in the corner of the room, with his arms folded over his bare chest, a pair of sweat pants hung low on his hips, a lethal smirk and a hungry glint in his eyes. Evan doesn’t think he can handle any of this at this time in the morning. Or ever, for that matter. “No, baby, there’s nothing there. You’ve just got a nice… physique, is all. We’re just appreciating it in all of its shirtless glory.”
okay first of all I SCREECHED and that Evan not even realizing but then Barty being soooo taunting he’s going to get what he wants and he knows it- 
but the implication that evans doing so much better physically at least maybe then he was seventeen/eighteen yesssss
Silence. Evan looks up. Not one person is looking him in the eye, in fact, they’re all looking at his chest. Evan glances down. He can’t see anything. He glances back up. No one's eyes have moved.
“What? Have I got something on me?” He looks back down, then up again.
Barty is the first one to break the silence, standing in the corner of the room, with his arms folded over his bare chest, a pair of sweat pants hung low on his hips, a lethal smirk and a hungry glint in his eyes. Evan doesn’t think he can handle any of this at this time in the morning. Or ever, for that matter. “No, baby, there’s nothing there. You’ve just got a nice… physique, is all. We’re just appreciating it in all of its shirtless glory.”
Sure enough, Regulus’ gaze is raking approvingly over Evan’s torso, Marlene is grinning at him like she’s a shark and he’s her next meal, and James actually has a string of drool coming down from the corner of his mouth, concern for Pandora apparently forgotten. Evan suddenly has the urge to reach for the throw on the back of the sofa and wrap it around himself securely. Is he ashamed of his body? No, of course not. He’s worked hard to get like this, and he’s overcome a lot of things, physically and mentally, but the way Barty is currently looking at him makes him feel, well– a bit indecent. 
AHHH THE REACTIONS OF EVERYONEEEE 
(And then bartyyyyyy)
“Evan, you actually ran away when I tried to get you to have a chat about your feelings. Evidently, conversation won’t work. But that’s okay baby, I’ve got other methods. We’ll work it out eventually.” Okay then Barty ….
WONDERFUL as usual, Avery, you really know how to get me right in the feels and even though I cried half the time I loved this so much. Dorcas and evans relationship is so awesome and I love them Pandora oh my gosh I love her and I can’t wait to see how Barty tries to get Evan bc it’s going to be hilarious and it’s also going to hurt lol 
ily, thank you so much!!!
dude this is so nice of you actually teared up,
this chapter was a mess, acsolutley 100% a brain malfunction on a page. but it was probably the easiest chapter to write. evan and dorcas' relationship was SO important in this, because Barty? Barty has Evan for when things get rough, and Pandora, and Regulus. And while, yes, evan also has barty, there are just some things he cannot tell him. so he goes to dorcas, like an older sister- younger brother relationship.
i get that after we hear evans story we're all kinda pissed at barty for being so brash about things, but he DOESNT KNOW. i just love writing their emtions, they're so much fun.
i so appreciate this you have no idea <333
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anauro · 2 years
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how do you picture regulus, barty and james?
Hi dear!
I’ll assume you mean how exactly I see them and that you talk about drugs and surgical scrubs. 💙
So.
Regulus
Like pretty much everyone, I see Regulus as Timothee Chalamet. My Regulus is half French from his mother side and my boy has type 1 skin on the Fitzpatrick scale.
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Poor baby just cannot tan for the life of his and he almost bathes in factor 50 sun dream during the summer months. He takes great pride in his porcelain skin that has no freckles and minimal amount of moles.
He’s always clean shaved and his curls end just below his ears, so he can cover the worst or bite makes with them.
He’s got no tattoos and no piercings, but he does occasionally paint his nails black, but promptly takes it off before seeing anyone. He also wears signet rings, either on his fingers or around his neck when he’s at work.
He’s rather skinny, but does have some muscular forearms, courtesy to his job. This man can hold a grown man’s jaw with just his pinky. His hands have very good stamina, if you know what I mean 😏
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Barty
My fancast for him is Maxence Danet-Fauvel. Do I need to say more?
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This man lives and breathes sport. He does the same cardio as Henry Cavill (if you know, you know) and he cycles to work, no matter the weather. He only owns a car cause his father got him one.
He’s very well built and knows it. He’s got a small tattoo of vine just next to his hip bone that Evan dared him to get when they got drunk after passing their finals. He also used to be a big (maternal) grandpa’s boy as his father was largely at work and not really a parental figure. He has his year of birth tattooed just above his left anterior cubital fossa (?? elbow pit) .
Barty doesn’t have any piercings, but I think he’s the most likely to get his dick pierced. Maybe he will.
James
I don’t think it surprises anyone when I say I picture James as white in this fic. I love the idea of desi James (and he is desi in my other fics), but as a white person, I don’t feel comfortable having a poc character who is a drug addict and a shit parent. I don’t mind if others do, but I personally can’t.
Now my overall James Potter face claim is actually a guy I know in real life, who is also called James and is half Pakistani. For obvious reasons, I can’t share his picture here but trust me when I say he’s a hottie 😅
I’m quite used to the idea of Aaron Taylor-Johnson as James Potter, purely cause I’ve seen about half a million of tik tok edits with him, but if anyone has any other fancasts for him then I am very open to suggestions.
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My James is a mess. His hair is longer than it should be —somewhere by his shoulders— and he barely even combs it so it’s even more unruly than before. He has like a 3 days old stubble and he’s got all sorts of minor cuts and abrasions where he scratched his own skin off when high.
He’s got a scar on his left forearm from where Sirius accidentally injected him into the artery and not the vein. His nails are bitten and his lips are chapped.
He’s a mess. And Regulus is still falling for him.
And of course he too is more on the muscular side, but nowhere near as Barty. He used to though and so he still looks quite good, even though he hasn’t seen a swimming pool in years.
He’s shaved over his chest and stomach purely cause they shaved him in the hospital pre-surgery. And he’ll keep it this way, cause he can see Regulus likes it.
He’s got the tattoo over his heart, which is E and F intertwined and an H below it.
He’s got the cut just over his right hipbone and lots of bruises over his lower stomach from the injections Regulus gives him.
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Teenagers Part 1
Harry Potter AU 
Summary: Request fic:  Regulus had never noticed you before. You are the opposite of him in almost every way. It also doesn't help that you are the sister of the one person that Regulus is most annoyed by. Now its time to learn if opposites really attract?
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: M
Song in Chapter: Take it like a man by Cher
________
A new school year…
You were more than thrilled going back to school. This year was going to be bittersweet. It was James and Sirius’ last year at school. Knowing that your brother and best friend would be leaving soon was enough to make you dread going back but you decided to not think about it. You would think about it the next year when you had to make all new friends. The less you thought about your friends leaving, the better off than you were. In your years at school, you had grown incredibly close to Sirius, Remus, and Lily. You were close to James anyway so not seeing your brother every day was going to be horrible the following year.
I’ll be happy this year.
You muttered to yourself as Sirius and James came running up behind you.
“Y/N THERE YOU ARE!”
Sirius yelled your name before throwing his arms around you in a bone-crushing hug.
“Sirius, you saw me five minutes ago.”
You coughed as he dramatically patted your head. James, Remus, and Lily finally caught up and was chuckling at the scene. They were so used to Sirius trying to drive you crazy that it was nothing new.
“Pads, can you not crush our sister?”
James asked with a smirk. Lily nodded.
“Yeah, Sirius, she is turning blue. “
Sirius quickly put you back on your feet and petted your cheek. He was giggling hard at the annoyed expression on your face.
“Better now?”
You nodded, rolling your eyes.
“You are going to be the death of me one day. People are going to keep thinking that you are my boyfriend.”
You bent down to pick up the book that Sirius knocked out of your hand. Sirius muttered a quiet apology as he wrapped his arm around your neck.
“It's fine. I’m used to it.”
Sirius smiled again.
“What’s wrong with me as a boyfriend?”
You motioned to Remus.
“Well nothing except if I am dating you I am also dating Remus which makes this one weird love triangle where I feel like I am dating my brothers. We aren’t that creepy are we?”
Sirius and Remus were both dying laughing at that comment while James shook his head.
“No, we aren’t that creepy. I would, for the record, be okay with the three of you in some weird triangle. At least I know my sister would be taken care of.”
Sirius grinned and patted your head again.
“We take care of her plenty enough.”
“He’s right, James. I feel like I have three older brothers. That could be the reason guys are scared to date me.”
You said with a smile as Sirius’ attention went elsewhere.
“Why is my brother staring at us?”
Sirius asked. Your eyes went in the direction of where Sirius was looking. Regulus Black stood with his little band of Slytherin “tyrants” (as James called them). Sure enough, the younger Black brother’s eyes were locked on Sirius and yourself. Evan and Barty leaned forward and whispered something to Regulus.
“He may not be looking at us.”
Sirius frowned. There was no denying that Regulus’ eyes were locked not only on Sirius but you.
“He’s actually looking at Y/n.”
Remus commented. You frowned. Regulus didn’t even know who you were or at least he pretended not to. It didn’t matter that the two of you were in the same year...neither of you spoke to the other. You didn’t really count him telling you to “move” in third year as talking.
“Looks like he’s lost.”
James said. Sirius hadn’t said another word but carefully watched his brother’s face. There was something different about that expression and Sirius wasn’t for sure what it was. Regulus didn’t show many expressions so seeing his brother looking like he had been hit by a book at the sight of you was rather amusing.
“If he had a crush on Y/n I am going to strangle him.”
James growled. You burst out laughing.
“Calm down, James. He doesn’t even know who I am.”
“Oh, I’m sure he does.”
James muttered as Sirius finally gave up and waved at his younger brother. Regulus scowled at Sirius before turning and tugging Evan and Barty with him.
“I guess he doesn’t miss me.”
Sirius said, sounding a little sad. You sighed. Part of you was still furious with the Black family for how they did Sirius. They didn’t realize how wonderful of a boy that he was. You wrapped your arm through his.
“Come on, let's go find a place on the train. Forget them.”
Meanwhile…
Regulus sat down beside Evan. His mind was stuck on his brother and the girl that was with him. Regulus wasn’t oblivious to the fact that his brother had a bit of a “hoe phase” going on but you, whoever you were, seemed different. There was something about the girl that Sirius had his arm around that really didn’t scream “I am Sirius Black’s type.”
“Who was the girl with my brother?”
Regulus finally asked. Evan looked up with a scowl.
“You know her.”
Regulus crossed his arms over his chest feeling annoyance building. While Evan had been his best friend since childhood, there were times that Regulus wanted nothing more than to punch him.
“Yeah? Well, I wouldn’t be asking you if I had the foggiest idea who she was now would I?”
Barty grinned from his place on the opposite bench.
“She is Y/n Potter. James’ sister...you know that git who stole your brother.”
Regulus’ mouth dropped. The last time that he had really looked at you...you were different...childish. Now you were...Regulus didn’t even know what word to use but the strange feeling in his stomach told him that it was something good.
Evan finally spoke again.
“She’s had one hell of a glow up over the summer. I can’t believe that I am saying this but she is pretty. She used to remind me of a baby squirrel.”
“A squirrel?”
Regulus questioned. Evan nodded.
“She was always so nervous looking. Now...if she wanted to tie my ass to a chair and give me a lap dance. I really wouldn’t mind. She would have to lose the Gryffindor tie and put on one of mine though.”
Evan smirked when he noticed the expression on Regulus’ face. He had never seen Regulus be the least little bit interested in another girl. Now here he was looking like he wanted to fight for your honor.
“I suggest that the three of you just leave Y/n Potter alone. It won’t end well.”
Severus’ monotone voice said as the boy stepped into the compartment. Evan laughed.
“Just because you are scared to stand up to Potter and his goons don’t mean that we aren’t. Come on Sev, even you have to admit that Y/n is a lovely girl now. Have you seen her ass? A perfect handful.”
Severus rolled his eyes and sat down without further comment. Regulus turned back to Evan.
“Maybe you should ask her for a date if you are that desperate for her attention?”
“You saw her first.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Just because I look at her doesn’t mean that I want her.”
The next morning Regulus woke up with a groan. He had tried to keep his mind off of you the whole previous evening but found his eyes glued to you. To his delight and displeasure, your eyes never flickered in his direction one time.
It also didn’t help that you were in his dreams that night. The whole night your sweet smile was locked on him. Even if you didn’t say a word you were looking at him. No one else but Regulus and he loved every bloody second of it!
Getting involved with her would be stupid….wreckless. Mother and father would be furious. She’s a blood traitor. Her whole family is...I don’t need that.
Regulus muttered as he got dressed. It didn’t matter how many times that he repeated that mantra to himself when he closed his eyes...it was your face that he saw.
Sinking into his place at the Slytherin table by Evan, Regulus silently started going through the motions of acting like he wanted to eat. There were plenty of things for him to think about...school, quidditch, tests...but you were the first thing. Was this what a crush was supposed to feel like because Regulus honestly had no clue.
Finally getting brave enough, he looked up at the Gryffindor table where you sat beside Dorcas Meadows laughing over something Marlene Mckinnon was saying.
Merlin, her smile is pretty…
Regulus thought before internally screaming at himself to stop.
“Hey, Reg, look, it's your woman.”
Evan commented with a smile. Regulus immediately elbowed Evan in the ribs.
“Shut up.”
Evan’s attention went back to the Gryffindor table when Sirius plopped down beside you.
“Something tells me that you need to get a move on if you want her before your brother runs off with her. By the rate he’s going, he’s going to try to marry her.”
Evan commented with a sneer. He had little patience with Sirius and now with the knowledge that Regulus had an interest in a girl for once...Evan wanted to make sure that Regulus got what he wanted for once.
Regulus rolled his eyes as you moved your hand over and landed on Sirius’ plate. He watched as you quickly pulled your arm up looking at the sticky syrup from the waffles that his brother was eating. Regulus couldn’t hear the conversation but it looked like you were giving Sirius the “what for” for having his plate so close to you. Sirius gave you a feeble shrug before taking your hand in his and licking your arm.
Gross…
Regulus thought as you picked up a book and smacked Sirius with it.
That works…
Regulus enjoyed watching you do what he had wanted to do to his brother for ages. When your eyes looked in his direction, Regulus froze. You offered him a small smile before turning back to the conversation with Marlene.
What the hell is going on with me?
Meanwhile,
You couldn’t help but smile at the expression on Regulus’ face. You had caught him looking at you several times but tried to not let him know that you were aware. It was nice seeing a cold glare on his face. Although you had never spoken a word to Regulus and really had no authority to judge him, he always seemed so cold and angry. You were honestly unsure if he knew how to smile. Now here he was staring at you with a stunned expression on his face.
“He’s a cute boy.”
Marlene commented. You looked up.
“Who?”
Marlene glanced over your shoulder to make sure that James, Sirius, and Remus were locked into a deep conversation about a prank before speaking again.
“Regulus.”
Dorcas and Lily both smile.
“He’s been watching you all morning.”
Dorcas added. You blushed and found yourself unable to look at the Slytherin table for a moment. Finally getting brave enough, you looked over again. Regulus had taken off his robes and sat in his black jumper talking to Evan. You rolled your eyes at the mere thought of Evan Rosier. The boy was a git!
Regulus, however, couldn’t have been more lovely. You smiled at just how much he and Sirius resemble each other in addition to their subtle differences. For one, you loved Regulus’ curls. He had apparently let it grow out over the summer and with the longer hair, Regulus reminded you a bit more of his brother. Another difference was Regulus’ eyes. His eyes were darker than Sirius and had more of a “James Dean daydream” look where Sirius was all “devil may care.”
“He must be bored.”
You replied, taking a sip of your drink. Dorcas glanced over her shoulder at the boy.
“Regulus always seems so sad and angry. Maybe you could cheer him up?”
“Like he would want anything to do with me. Besides have you all met my brother? James would fall off of his unicorn if I let Regulus within 8 inches of me.”
Lily smiled.
“He is a big boy. He’ll get over it.”
Marlene leaned closer and wrapped her arm through yours. You couldn’t help but look over at Regulus again. He sat tapping his fingers anxiously. Even his hands were nice-looking...you were in a lot of trouble!
“Here’s what you do...you simply tell him that if he wants your heart then he needs to take it like a man.”
Dorcas nodded.
“Oh, that’s a good one, Marlene. She’s right, Y/n. Before he fights for you, he needs to show you that he can.”
You couldn’t help but laugh.
“You two just ripped off a Cher song.”
“She has good advice and clearly Dorcas and I are on the same page.”
Marlene said with a smile. You quickly gathered your things to head off to class.
“Maybe he and I can go on a date to that new skating rink down in hell.”
You said with a laugh. Both Marlene and Dorcas gave you offended gasps.
“Hell doesn't have to freeze over for a Slytherin and a Gryffindor to be compatible.”
“It will for that one.”
You replied before bidding everyone a fair well and leaving the great hall.
Arriving in Potions, you were never more grateful to get to a class that you really had to focus on. The less that you had to sit and think about the morning's conversation with your friends the better off you would be.
“Good morning, Ms. Potter.”
Professor Slughorn said with a cheerful smile as you stepped into the room. He had been adoring you since the year before when you cracked one of his zany puzzles.
“Good morning, Professor. Did you have a nice summer?”
“Oh, yes my dear. I hope you did as well. I saw Lily and she said that the two of you spent a lot of time together.”
You nodded.
“Yes sir, she’s one of my best friends.”
Professor Slughorn nodded with an approving smile. You couldn’t have asked for a better best friend in his eyes.
“That’s wonderful, my dear. If you will just sit down there, please. I am pairing everyone up with a partner this semester. I’m sure yours will come along shortly.”
“Thank you, sir.”
You replied as you dug your new potions book out of your bag. It wasn’t until Slughorn said Regulus’ name did you look up before looking down.
Of course, he’s in this class. Why not? Merlin help me if he gets sat next to…
“Mr. Black if you will sit with Ms. Potter, please. I am pairing the two of you up this semester.”
FUCK
You screamed in your head, knowing that your face was blushing bright red. Regulus sat down beside you and was dead silent. You peaked at him through your hair. He sat with his hands in front of him on the table. Eventually, you would have to look up at him but right now you didn’t know how quickly that would be.
What if he actually didn’t like you and was just staring because he thought that you were dating Sirius or something? That would be some cruel joke for you. You would be getting all emotionally distraught and downright nervous for no reason.
Dorcas and Marlene’s ripping of Cher lyrics came right back to your head.
Boy, if you want my heart. You gotta take it like a man. Before you fight for us. You gotta show me that you can. So when the lights go dark...I wanna know you understand that if you want my heart you gotta take it like a man...
“You do know how to talk, right?”
Regulus’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. Ah, that’s what his voice sounded like...you loved it already. You couldn’t help but wonder just what the fuck was going on with you? Since when did you get all giddy for some boy that you didn’t know?
You took a deep breath before looking up at Regulus. He looked bored sitting beside you but it looked like his own cheeks were slightly pink.
“Yes, I know how to speak.”
You replied. Regulus anxiously tapped his fingers on the table in front of him.
“Good because it would be one hell of a boring semester if you were mute.”
You automatically frowned.
“I didn’t hear you saying anything.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“You’re sassy. Lovely.”
You put your book down in front of you feeling the annoyance build but at the same time, Regulus calling you “sassy” was hilarious.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
You snapped back. A small smile played on his lips. Was he testing your patience or was he trying to get hit with a book the way Sirius did?
“You are friends with my brother aren’t you?”
You nodded.
“We aren’t dating.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
Regulus replied. Internally he was thanking whatever lucky stars that he had shining in his direction. He didn’t have to worry about his older stupid “better looking” brother for once.
“Sorry, that’s usually the first question that most people ask.”
You said, feeling your face flush. Regulus smiled.
“Tell people to mind their own damn business. It works wonders.”
Before you could respond, Professor Slughorn called the class to attention. Both Regulus and yourself turned to face him, ending the conversation that was taking place. You tried to listen to what Slughorn was talking about was busy congratulating yourself on not looking like a total fool.
Boy, will Dorcas and Marlene love this...
______
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halothenthehorns · 3 years
Text
All in the Family
Chapter 118: Christmas on the Closed Ward
The walls were the same shade of amber as her eyes. The duvet on the bed was a faded unicorn pattern from her childhood she should have been embarrassed at everyone seeing.
Potter was admiring her poster of The Three Toads he'd landed in front of, grinning in surprise they had at least similar taste in music it seemed.
Regulus was prodding a lava lamp her dad had gifted her, but she couldn't even watch the blue and yellow goo go up and down.
The bedroom was opulent, none of them even landed within arm's reach of each other, Remus noticed gratefully as he quickly brushed at his eyes and was grateful he'd gotten himself together.
The carpet was solid gold, and very fluffy, as Padfoot landed on it with only a huff.
Instead she was gasping, shuddering, and generally falling to pieces as it caught up to her where they'd been trapped. 'You're being ridiculous,' her mind coolly informed her. 'You didn't even flinch when you found this out, why are you crying now?'
Because being told she was insane in this future and not having contact with her son was different than being trapped in that ward like they'd just been! They were out now, she kept telling herself, but it didn't feel like it. They were still trapped in this mess. They couldn't go to their next class and keep whispering or passing notes like there was no world outside the school, or go hunt down Barty Crouch Jr., Bellatrix, Rabastan, and Rodolphus Lestrange right now to cease this from ever being a possibility. Stuck in this limbo, it really hit her she didn't want to be strong anymore. She just wanted to cry.
Had Frank's mother refused to bring Neville there, or brought him every other weekend to people who didn't even recognize him? Which was worse? What of her mother and father? Every detail of that place felt burned into her brain as she once again found herself stuck on the fact it had been Frank's family photos about, had she any family left that hadn't all been killed in some gruesome way, or in the bed next to her?
"Alice, darling, what-" Frank tripped over himself trying to get to her, pulling her tight to his chest as his mind floundered why she'd be having such a severe reaction to Harry Potter's dilemma. Yeah, being possessed by You-Know-Who was awful in its own right, but she'd been the most vehement since the beginning this wasn't a future set in stone for any of them.
He pulled gently until they were sitting on the bed which Lily quickly vacated, having landed on it and studying pictures on the ceiling in surprise before she realized what she was seeing. Alice and a woman who must be her mother, the two in matching dark pigtails and laughing. Alice and a man with her amber eyes trying to lick ice cream from their own noses.
Now she was forced to watch as tears kept falling from her eyes with no clue what had caused it any more than Frank's wild look around for some sort of cause.
"Guess it wouldn't help her to feel better if I said I think her room looks cool," Potter offered, rubbing the back of his neck.
Lily wanted to hex him, making a joke at a time like this, but instead she ignored him and went on her other side, trying desperately to think of anything to comfort her like Alice had done for her countless times since this had started.
To her utter surprise though, Alice tried to laugh. She was nuzzling into Frank's side and holding Lily's hand, but actually trying to sniffle back the sobs and look around like she was just noticing it all for the first time like them.
"What happened darling?" He begged, brushing at her short hair desperately as she tried to get herself under control. They'd been stuck in that room the whole time, she'd even been trying to get him to come look at something before they were vanished away. Had there been a cursed object in there that had hurt her?
"I," she hardly wanted to say the words, like leaving him ignorant would be some saving grace. She wouldn't hide this away though, she'd never hid anything from him and she wasn't going to start now. The words caught in her throat regardless of her intentions, she didn't know how to say it. "That room," she tried again, but then she just kept seeing that baby picture of Neville in Augusta Longbottom's arms, like it was the last thing she'd ever seen before she lost her mind, and she couldn't say it.
Frank felt like a miserable friend, let alone boyfriend, he still wasn't getting it.
"Did you want us to leave?" Peter offered quietly. He was by her door, which he'd cracked open to find the rest of her house available.
"If you'd like," she tried to hide the fact she was wiping snot off on her shoulder by passing it off as a shrug. "There's three bathrooms, one down the hall in mum and dad's room, the other across the hall, and the last down under the stairs. You can help yourself to anything you like in the kitchen."
They all trailed out slowly, each wishing they could say something, but though she'd been kind and gentle to all of their troubles, they couldn't think of a word to say back at the moment either. Lily hesitated going last, giving her hand a questioning squeeze, but Alice just held tight back, she could stay of course, she really wasn't trying to hide this.
The lack of the others didn't really help Alice order her thoughts any better, she hadn't a problem speaking this to any of them, but she was still trying to put how to say it in her head in the least brash way possible for several moments as James started reading.
That same chill lodged back into place when she heard the chapter title. Arthur was still in that hospital. Somehow, someway, Harry was going to find her and her husband in there. "Oh Frank," she finally forced it out, she wanted him to hear it from her before then. "I, think- no. We were just on the closed ward, that's why it wouldn't open."
It only took another moment for it to click in him, and he went rigid in shock.
Lily gasped and tried to pull her into a hug, but Frank pulled her to him entirely and whispered, "glory, I, didn't even notice, how, what-"
"I saw, our, I mean, the, things around those beds," her voice died by the end, and she was grateful he didn't ask her to elaborate. She didn't want to keep trying to refer to that place, it would only make it more real.
"Oh Alice," Lily's hands were flitting desperately for any kind of comfort, and settled for patting her on the back. It was always Sev comforting her, he didn't like talking about his problems much at all. "It's not our future, you told me that. This will not be happening to you, either of you!"
"I'm not so sure anymore," she whispered, explaining Percy's room to her.
"That, that doesn't mean," Frank stopped and started as if in physical pain. "What, you think when we're done with Harry's seven years we'll travel through his whole life and be stuck in here forever? Or that we'll go back to school and lose all memory of this? I, no, I cannot believe, this has to mean something!"
"I'm so sorry," Lily whispered in horror. "This is all my fault, I've never forgotten that fact, but I'll, I'll do anything to fix this. We have to end up back in that Potions room eventually, and I'll, I'll fix this, I swear!"
"Lily no," Alice said at once, finally almost wriggling free of Frank as she turned to face her, though he still had his hands on her hips. "I don't blame you, nobody does! It was a stupid accident, it happens in a magical school."
At least Alice finally seemed to feel a smidge better as she smiled at the two, hugging them both firmly before getting up and heading towards her closet and determinedly brushing the last of the tears from her eyes. She certainly was going to take this time to get out of her days-old clothes.
Frank watched her go with a fire lodged in his chest. He would stop this from happening to her, no matter what.
Lily sighed and brushed at her hair as she thought it all over again anyways. She knew she could remake her half of the potion without a problem, it was Lupin's part that would be the experimental phase. It's what her and Sev had spent so much of their free time doing, but these past two months it was practically all they could stand to do together without arguing. Her stomach clenched uncomfortably as she wondered if she'd just make it worse by trying something again, she seemed to have that effect on everything.
Padfoot went limping out of the room last, and had to crane his neck all the way up to see Remus and James thanking Peter for something, both things a spectacle in themselves. Remus held his hand out and took whatever from him, and the other two went down the stairs while Moony tapped him on the nose. Regulus hesitated at the top of the landing, but didn't follow them in as Remus closed the door.
"Come in here you," he whispered gently, going to the door across. The bathroom was apparently under some kind of remodeling. The floor was solid concrete, but the double sink was marble white and had shiny new taps in place that must not have ever been used and more counter space than really should have been necessary. The multipurpose shower bath steam cubicle was sectioned off by a tempered glass door and looked big enough all eight of them could have fit in there as another squashed space.
Remus closed the toilet lid and patted it expectantly, but when Padfoot just looked at him, he quietly asked, "like some help?"
Every last dignity in him wanted to snap no, but really he'd only hesitated because he had no idea what Moony was up to. Lingering worry for him back at the hospital had been the only thing getting him this far in rather than going downstairs for food. He looked perfectly normal, but there was still an aura of guilt surrounding him. He played along if Remus wanted to finally put all that Madam Pomfrey fussing to his own use and check his wounds, which he assumed was going on here. He didn't like his chances much under the fur.
He went over, and made the small hop up, rather glad he wasn't human for how badly that burned his muscles like new and clenching his jaw instead to hide a whimper. Remus's gentle fingers went carding through his fur, but he'd guessed right, he was barely getting down to the skin, let alone getting a good look at the new scars he'd have.
He sighed in defeat and pocketed a little jar, but before he could jump down, Remus got down on his knees so they were on eye level, and held his head carefully like he was made of spun glass. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, and Padfoot was stunned to see tears in his eyes.
Sirius almost broke his promise to James. He would not let Remus beat himself up over this, it had been his decision! Remus would hate himself though, possibly even dangerously so, if he killed them any more than he'd almost done to Longbottom or even Snape. Comforting Remus like this was also the most perfect answer, so he instead leaned forward and used the side of his long snout to nudge against the back of Remus's head, pressing him into his chest. He couldn't actually hold him, but it should have been all that was needed regardless. They'd known full well what they were getting into when they became Animagi, and he didn't regret a single second of it.
Moony's arms came up and circled him tight, and Padfoot hummed in pleasure and let his tail wag just for show, getting the slightest chuckle out of him.
James reading the book didn't even make them spring guiltily apart this time, Remus's hands stayed in tight fists in his thick fur until his breaths finally evened back out to normal, but as Harry's fear ramped up to paranoid levels and he started taking advice from Phineas Nigellus of all paintings, the two finally eased off of each other and went to go check on him, Sirius didn't even lick his neck just to gross him out.
They went down the stairs to see their friend being plenty distracted though, Peter was trying in vain to stop the two dark haired boys lopping bits of their own skin off as they investigated a potato peeler.
"-I'm impressed they've even got this here," Peter was saying as he showed them properly again.
"We'll have to ask her," James agreed, alternatively reading a sentence and attempting this, and scraping against his thumb again. He cursed and dropped the whole spud in the trashcan amongst his half-peeled, now blood flecked flesh.
"I swear you and Padfoot share a brain cell," Remus sighed as he went over to show him again. "You're going to be out of fingers before we're done with this."
The injured digits from his long-ago electrical burn were not as faded as they would have liked, though everyone else's injuries had mostly gone with time. He wondered if it was the electrical component to the injury that stopped it healing amongst the several healing charms they'd used on themselves by now.
Padfoot barked in protest while James shared a sad grin with him. He was already missing his idiot brother's stupid commentary, though perhaps it was best he couldn't show his face during the bit where Harry had to be pulled out of his depression by his friends rather than his godfather even noticing, that stung all of them quite a lot. This future version of Sirius seemed so cold in comparison to his brother, he'd only ever seen Sirius that distant when they'd been arguing, he couldn't imagine why he was acting this way towards Harry. He turned quickly back towards the book, they had no answer except this one regardless.
By the time the other three came down the stairs, detailed Christmas presents were being given, and Peter had finished prepping enough sandwiches for several more stops.
"Alright Prongs, I'm done, stop trying to lacerate yourself already," he called, but when he didn't come over to place the preservation charms on them to keep them good while he wrapped up the last one, he glanced up to see Evans had once again caught his eye.
She must be wearing some of Alice's things, the redhead was much taller than her so her midriff showed in the silver top she wore and the billowing green skirt still showed a bit of her ankles.
"Hey Alice, why do you have a potato peeler?" Remus asked. She had on new clothes too, a wooly beige jumper and sweatpants.
"My dad works in the Muggle-Worthy Excuse committee," she shrugged, "he can't say it's a foolproof excuse if he doesn't test out a few theories himself. He remodels the house all the time for different scenarios, and we've a bunch of Muggle stuff hanging around, though not as much as Arthur I'm sure."
"How'd giving Sirius that stuff go?" Regulus directed at Lupin. Peter had told him that's what they were still upstairs doing, but he'd been so fascinated by the little whirly device he hadn't even seen them come in.
"Fur's too thick, just like his head, can't get the stuff on," Remus sighed.
Padfoot huffed in indignation, and they all looked down as they wondered just how much of an earful they were going to get from him when he finally changed back.
Remus just smiled in anticipation of that and turned to smack Prongs. He reluctantly dragged his eyes away as Evans went over to Peter and offered to do the Charm, it really was his weakest class so he let her without protest.
When Hermione announced who her last present was for, they were all very familiar with that rumbling growl from the grim-looking dog, and when they got down to Kreacher's room, and his shrine, there was a nasty silence even he couldn't drown out.
Regulus winced, wishing he could hide his house-elf behind him. Kreacher didn't know any better, just like he hadn't when all this started. His servant had been his only friend in that place these last three years while Sirius had been at school and ignoring him at home, surely if he just explained to his elf things had to change he'd go along with it, and burn those particular artifacts.
He took an uneasy breath, and stopped Potter as he shook himself and tried to keep going.
"I'm sorry for him, I won't let him keep those," he told them both sincerely.
Frank didn't seem sure how to respond to that other than smiling awkwardly and trying to wave Potter on, the less they dwelled on it the better, but he went to go sit at the table with the lot of them to prove there were no hard feelings. Alice sat on his lap and reached over to give the kid's arm a squeeze in thanks, quickly drawing her hand back so he wouldn't notice it shaking as the lot made another trip up to the hospital.
She swallowed painfully and sat back against Frank's chest as it all started not a page later. Arthur tried some Muggle experimental way to heal himself, and the kids all bolted from Molly's shouting. They got turned around, and ran into Lockhart.
Even Lily burst out in surprised, and a tad righteous laughter as they all thought this was great fun and payback, but Frank's skin was already turning sallow and Alice was half-tempted to excuse them back up to her room so they wouldn't have to see the others' faces when they realized.
They were delayed as James sat gazing at her long after her laughter had subsided and she rolled her eyes at him, she'd been hoping the Slytherin colors would at least minorly deter him. Then she shot Alice a stern look, trying to tell her he was always like this and it didn't mean anything, but really caught sight of them.
Alice denied herself the getaway as she glanced at them, and the fear that flashed in her green eyes said she'd already put it together. They couldn't leave now, the last thing either of them wanted was this group whispering pitifully about them and dragging this out further.
She couldn't bring herself to offer to take the book though as the trio and Ginny reluctantly followed their old DADA teacher in, and the recant of a much more lively version of the place they'd waste away in was described. A part of her wanted to do it to make this go faster, pretend she couldn't feel any pitying gazes she knew would be coming, but again the words jammed up in here before she had the chance.
Frank wasn't doing much better as the truth slowly sunk into the rest of them. To Potter's credit, he only hesitated a moment before glancing at them and putting together what must have been going on when they'd been alone. When both just nodded, he plowed on in the same diligent way he had been reading through his own son's life that he cared for so much, a soft, but steady determination.
This was not the future any of them would have chosen, but James still wanted it all to be true on just the smallest level, that he and Lily were destined to have Harry at the same time as Alice and Frank would have Neville. They'd go forward remembering every heinous detail, and fix every one of them. Their boys would grow up happy and never knowing what had almost been.
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queerofthedagger · 4 years
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hey this may be an odd ask, but i was wondering if you had any soft or angsty regulus headcanons? i’ve been searching the web for more content of him but just can’t find much, so i hope you don’t mind this ask! thanks if you read this !!
Hey Nonnie, not an odd ask at all and I’m more than happy about any questions about Regulus!
While Sirius often took the blame for him and stood up to their parents, Regulus defied them in different ways, like nicking Potions and food for Sirius and finding loopholes in his mothers orders to Kreacher to help Sirius in the aftermath. The only exception to him staying in the background was the night Sirius ran away from home, when he shouted at their parents to stop and bought Sirius time to get away.
Sirius tried to convince Regulus to come with him, but he wouldn’t for more than one reason: he already felt left behind and kind of like Sirius replaced him, but he also knew that their parents would raise hell if both of them left. But if he took the place as the heir, so at least Sirius would have the chance to live the life he wants. He also knew that Sirius had to leave for his own sake.
I also think he actually preferred to stay in the background, to observe and read and not have so much attention on him. Of course, being seen as the ‘spare’ and a ‘replacement’ by his parents and most of the family was also rough on him, but despite what Sirius probably accused him of, he didn’t care about having their attention and expectations all on him, quite the opposite.
Also, Regulus didn’t really have anywhere else to go – he could have gone to the Potters but would have felt like an intruder, and I think he didn’t have any real friends in Slytherin that would have understood and supported him. (The only exception might have been Barty, but I doubt that Crouch Sr. would have cared to take him in.)
After Sirius left, he sometimes snuck into Sirius’ old room. He found one of his brothers Muggle jumpers there and sometimes wore it as a form of comfort, when he was alone. It was washed-out and a little too big, but he loved it all the same. (He wore it when he went to the cave.)
Sirius’ rebellion actually led to him questioning some of their parent’s beliefs and he did a lot of research. But I think Sirius more or less automatically threw him into the same category as their parents and no matter how much he loved his older brother, he was also stubborn and proud, and he couldn’t have voiced his adjusted opinions because it would have made his parents suspicious.
He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t that much of a change, and that he wanted to join the Death Eaters anyway. I think his parents and also Bellatrix would have put a lot of pressure on him regardless of his own wishes, and it was easier to accept if he believed that it’s what he wants than thinking that he doesn’t have a choice. At that point, it would’ve been too late to change sides because he thought Sirius wouldn’t believe his sudden change anyway.
But I think while he perfected his mask and fulfilled all the expectations put on him, he was a soft and quiet person, searching for refuge in books, and was definitely not made for killing and torturing, that being a Death Eater made him sick and brought a lot of self-loathing and nightmares with it.  
Kreacher and the Horcrux were the final straw (I think no matter how much he loved Kreacher, his only real companion, that alone is not enough for such a thorough change of heart if there weren’t a lot of doubts already). Not only did he know that Voldemort would find out about him stealing the Horcrux eventually, but he was just so bloody tired and fed up with everything. He knew he would die in that cave, and it was the only way he saw. I think it’s important to keep in mind that he was only 19 at that point, and the situation he was in must have looked even more hopeless than it might have been to someone with more life-experience and different influences.
This are a few that I can think of from the top of my head and I hope you liked them. (And now I’m kind of sad because my boy deserved better.. )
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bloody-avery · 7 years
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V. ACCEPTANCE
                  (   2 - 4 January 1980   )
i. denial // ii. anger // iii. bargaining /// iv. depression /// music inspo i. /// music inspo ii. 
“ Why Canis Major and Leo? ”
His skin is soft. His eyes look up, judge her face, look back down again. He pauses. 
     “ Regulus is the brightest star in the Leo constellation. It’s called ‘the heart of the lion.’
Again, a pause. Not doubting, but nervous. His lips part and his voice is slow. 
                        And Sirius is the brightest star of Canis Major. The dog star. ”
It’s just ink. That’s what she’d told herself, that it was just ink, and that one day it would fade. His skin is soft as she kisses the little stars on his forearm.
“ They suit you. ”
He looks at her like she’s always wanted to be looked at. 
                                        “ Marry me. ”
Cassandra jumped awake, sitting bolt upright. Her breath rattled in her chest. She looked to the bed next to her, but it was empty. Her ring was cold. Cassandra’s hand shook as she rubbed it over her face. She put her head back down on her pillow. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend he was still there. If she closed her eyes, she could sleep. 
                  “ Do you--? Do you miss who you used to be? ”
She pauses. Maybe. There are words, but they’re hollow. If he lets out a breath of relief, they’ll fall over. She doesn’t even know if she means them. She does, she tells herself. She will. 
“ It doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t go back. That part of my life is over. ”
           “ I love the person you were, I love the person you’ve become. 
                                 I know that’s not enough to make up for the rest of it. ”
It is. It should be. It is, it is, it is. She loves him, she loves him so much that it burns. She would walk through hell for him without blinking. She’d turned her back on a lifetime of what she’d thought was the right thing because of him, hadn’t she? She shakes her head. Her hair tickles her shoulders. 
“ Change doesn’t happen without sacrifice, and if that’s what I have to sacrifice to be who I am now, I can live with that. Even if it’s hard. This is the first time in my life where I’ve done the right thing... I started doing it for you, and it was hard. It was hard but it felt right. But I’m not doing it for you anymore. I’m doing it for me, for our future. So the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black actually means something again, for us. 
For our children, if we have any. ”
Barty’s hand was shaking her awake, pulling her from sleep. She grabbed onto his arm as tightly as she could and sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
But it wasn’t him she was apologizing to. She couldn’t tell him what she was apologizing for, couldn’t fit it all into words, couldn’t make him understand and see how much she had to apologize for. She buried her face in his shoulder. She wouldn’t sleep. She couldn’t sleep. 
“I told him that I’m scared shitless that you’re going to get hurt and it’s going to be my fault.”
Why is she burning? Why is it burning, why are they fighting? Stop. Stop and just hold me, stop with the secrets. She wants to yell it at him. She wants to cry. She wants to feel anything other than burning. 
" We’re getting married! And I know that that’s not as important as the Riddle to you, or all of the rest of it, but everything is secrets and the Riddle and fighting with people and whenever we talk about Sirius or Barty or— or anyone or anything it all comes back to secrets we’re keeping and it’s exhausting. ”
The silence is pained. 
                     “ You never said anything. ”
She’s selfish. One day he’ll resent her for it and she won’t even blame him. What a stupid girl, to think that she could do this. It would be Riddle first, her second, until it was over or until she was dead. 
“ Maybe I didn’t say it all. But maybe you weren’t listening either. ”
Maybe if he’d listened, he’d still be alive. He’d been gone so long. His birthday was tomorrow. She missed him. The bed was cold, the sheets didn’t smell like him anymore. She went into the closet and found one of his Quidditch uniforms, pulled it on, and crawled back into bed. 
                  “ You want to talk about heirs right now? ”
Tell him. The words are on her tongue, they’re balanced there. Tell him. She doesn’t. They fade. 
          “ I’ve been preoccupied but I haven’t been invisible.  You didn’t say a word. ” 
“ I didn’t tell you because I—I wanted to bring you good news, and I-I… I don’t have any. ”
I did. I should’ve. I lost it. If it fades it’s my fault, if you’re mad, it’s my doing. She wants to cry. It happened once, it can happen again. They can try. She wants to tell him. She doesn’t. He’d not say it, but it’d be a blessing in disguise. She can’t see the relief in his eyes when she tells him what she’s lost. She lets it go. They’re supposed to have years for this. 
         “ I won’t choose killing someone else over going to Azkaban or dying myself. ”
For once in his life, she wants him to be selfish. But he isn’t. He never was, not until he left. The one time he was selfish was the one time she begged that he wouldn’t be. 
They visited Regulus’ grave that morning, had put a wreath of flowers against the stone that marked an empty coffin. Beni ran his fingers over the letters there-- Regulus Black, loving son, husband, and brother. Died 15 November 1979. She’d fought for brother to be on there, tooth and nail against Walburga. Threatening to deface Regulus’ grave by carving the word there herself after the fact was the only thing that got Walburga to finally give in. Cassandra was a woman of her word when it came to threats, if nothing else. And so loving son, husband, and brother were carved into the stone. 
Cassandra had not kept her word, however, and the gravestone had been, in a small and indistinguishable way, defaced by a charm of her own. Beni’s fingers traced over the small bumps there, spelling out the words in braille for him to read. His fingers paused on the word brother. He sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve before he stood. Cassandra couldn’t bring herself to touch the stone. Her ring was still cold against her finger; she didn’t need to feel the chill of the stone on her hand hours after they’d left to know that Regulus was still gone. To know that Regulus wasn’t coming back. She took Beni’s hand and with a crack, they disapparated. 
Knockturn Alley. Cassandra’s footsteps crunched in the snow as she walked. It was with purpose, for the first time in what felt like ages. She had an appointment to keep. A piece of paper was clutched tightly in her hand, though she was careful not to crease it, careful not to bend it. She held Beni’s hand tightly in her other. His steps quicker than hers, twice the speed to keep up. His shoes were muddy, his face puffy; he’d not said a word since she’d gotten him up that morning to come with her. 
The bell at the door rang as they entered. There was talking, a blur of conversation. Cassandra held out the piece of paper, and the woman examined it for a moment. Her lips tilted upwards in a smile. 
                    “The constellation Leo. Nice choice. Where do you want it?”
She lifted the bottom of her shirt and pointed to the space on her ribcage, below her heart. “Here.” 
The woman nodded, and patted the table. 
                            “Come and lay down, then, while I get my stuff ready.”
The table felt cold beneath her. She didn’t wince at the needle as the woman did her work, didn’t flinch. She closed her eyes. Her skin prickled. The woman used a mirror to show her her work when she was finished, the pale lines etched there on her ribcage, beneath her breast. It would be too obvious on her arm, on her shoulder like she’d wanted. But it was close to her heart, still. A little mark of something that would remain. Something that she would not let fade.
She looked over at Beni perched on a chair beside the table, legs pulled up to his chest and his chin on his knees. She looked back at the woman. 
“We need you to do two more.” She nodded to Beni, and the woman looked at him. Cassandra touched Beni’s shoulder gently, and his head lifted. “I gave you the paper, do you still have it?”
He nodded mutely and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. She took it from him and held it out to the woman, who looked down at it. She frowned.
                      “I don’t know this constellation.”
“It’s not a constellation,” Beni finally chimed in. His head lifted slowly from his knees, tilting towards her. “It’s my brother.”
Cassandra looked down at the collection of dots on the page. They wouldn’t mean anything to anyone, wouldn’t mean anything to anyone but the two of them. Those little circles, those little marks, meant the world to the two of them sitting there. To the rest of the world, they were just dots. But to them, it was spelling out a name. Spelling out a secret. 
búho.
Beni sat on the edge of his bed and traced his fingers over the little raised bumps on his wrist. The tattoo was pale against his skin, barely noticeable, more obvious by the bumps it left than the dots. It was a simple charm, one that Cassandra had discovered before she’d suggested the idea to Beni. A tattoo was useless on him if he couldn’t see it, but this, he could feel. The letters in braille against his skin, a quiet homage to the man that had been more family to him than he’d ever dreamed he could have. Cassandra’s own fingers traced over her tattoo just below her left ear. The rise and fall of her skin where the dots marked her, dappled on her skin in pale ink. Somewhere she could touch, somewhere she could feel, without anyone noticing, without thinking that it was anything other than a nervous tick of hers, toying with an earring or twirling her hair between her fingers, while in reality tracing her fingertips over the name hidden there. Another little white lie to add to her ever-expanding list of deception and secrets. 
“Do you think he’s okay, wherever he is?”
Cassandra looked up at the question, and her fingers paused against her neck. “What?”
“Do you think he’s okay?” Beni paused. “Do you think he’s still looking after us?”
He would be, if he was still here. But she couldn’t say that to Beni, so she sighed instead and shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Beni fell into silence again, and Cassandra thought he was done speaking until he leaned back and dropped down onto his back. He brushed his curly hair away from his forehead. “Do you  think he’d be proud of us?”
Cassandra settled next to him, her head turned to look at him beside her. She couldn’t say yes. Regulus wouldn’t be proud of her. He would be ashamed. He’d asked her for two simple things-- happiness, and to finish what they’d started. She’d abandoned the locket with Kreacher, never even let herself lay eyes on it. And she knew that she could never be happy again. Not when he’d left her. Not when saying goodbye to her had never even crossed his mind. She reached out and brushed her fingers through Beni’s hair. 
“He’d be proud of you, Abejorro.” She could keep her voice from cracking. For his sake, she could keep it together for him. “He loved you so much. I hope you know that.”
“I do.” He fell silent again, and traced his fingers over his wrist again. Cassandra looked up at the ceiling again and focused on keeping her breathing even. Beni’s head tilted towards her. “Do you?”
Cassandra looked at him again. “Do I what?”
“Do you know that he loved you?” Cassandra’s breath caught in her chest, and she didn’t answer. She did, didn’t she? She knew that he’d loved her. He’d gone alone to the cave to protect her, he’d gone alone because he loved her. Because to him, doing the selfish thing was better than letting her take the fall for him. She took a shaky breath and let the first tears fall. 
“Yeah, I know.”
Beni shifted, and he curled up against Cassandra’s side. His arms held onto her, thin but strong, and his curly hair tickled her neck. 
“It’s okay to cry.”
“I know.” And she did. Her body rattled with it, her cheeks felt cold as the tears slid down them, disappearing into the dark curls of her hair. She bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from letting out a sob. “I miss him so much.”
“I do too.” Cassandra felt a drop of cold on her arm, and she looked at Beni. He was crying too. She held onto him even tighter, and he squeezed her right back. 
It was okay to cry. For the first time, her tears didn’t fall out of anger. They didn’t fall out of frustration, they didn’t fall out of hurt. They didn’t fall out of confusion, out of loss, out of sadness. They fell because it shook her. They fell because in all this, she’d never stopped to think about how much she just wanted someone to hold her, how much she missed that feeling of being loved and having someone love her with everything they had in them. She wiped at her eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of Beni’s head. 
“I love you, Abejorro. Okay? I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
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resident-gay-bitch · 3 months
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My Barty Crouch Jr headcannons:
He’s a kleptomaniac - at least to some degree. I think he can’t help but steal things from the people he loves, like he’s just always taking their shit and he has little collections of his favorite people’s things hidden away in his room
He actually has a massive fucking heart and feels so deeply but he doesn’t let anyone know that because his father kept telling him it wasn’t manly to have emotions so he shuts them all up
Death eater or not - wizards or not - stuck in a war or not - no matter fucking what circumstance Barty would actually kill for those he loves. If someone he cares about comes crying about being hurt he would lash out and hurt them back and he would not hesitate to kill them if granted permission
He’s not the healthiest. He smokes compulsively, if he was alive now he’d also vape like it was his last resort.
His diet is basically energy drinks, chips, and plain pieces of bread. He really doesn’t eat much at all so he’s really skinny to the point where it’s concerning and borderline an eating disorder.
He’s never or will never love anyone to the extent that he loves Pandora. He looked at her one day and just decided she was his entire fucking world. She’s the only one he really opens up too, the only one who sees him cry (before his lover), the first person besides his mum who’s ever hugged him and held him and told him he’s worthy of being loved. He would go to the ends of the earth for her, and he really wishes he could just put her in his pocket and protect her from everything. They are the ultimate besties.
Barty falls for every single one of his friends. Some deeper than others. But he gets crushes on anyone that makes the time for him, listens to what he has to say, and genuinely enjoys his presence. There aren’t many that do, so he genuinely fucking clings.
That man would have the most random fucking tattoos ever. They’re mostly cool as shit. Like he’ll have big scary boy tattoos but then smushed in between scorpions and snakes and like demons with blood he’d just have a little ghost with love heart eyes or something. Most of the random ones are because they’re funny or because Pandora said she liked something so he just got a tattoo of it. He also has her name tattood on his chest.
He has had them most retched mullets in his days. He only gets rid of them when Pandora finally breaks and asks him to grow it out. He somehow still gets bitches with those atrocities though.
If he was alive now, he would definitely own a maid costume and would pull it out at the most random times. Regulus / Evan would fucking thirst over it so much.
Acts like a dom outside the bedroom, the most bottom man ever in the bedroom - but he’s cheeky about it
He just wants to be loved at the end of the day
Would 1000% have a dick piercing. Probably even more than one. He would also have a dick tattoo because he’s stupid
His favorite colours are pale forest greens and sky blues
Socks on at all times when he’s around other people or in active mode. The only time they come off is in the shower or bed, and only if he’s in bed alone. Man’s will be butt ass naked without a care but he will still be wearing his socks. He also only owns dumb socks
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE SOME OF YOURS! come put them all in my ask box <3
I do have more but this is what I’m sharing for now :)))
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The Girl Most Wanted (Part 1)
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Request:  HI SO i was thinking about a really cliche regulus x reader 😭 so could you do like if regulus was like you know the guy everyone wants, but the reader is the only exception and doesn’t seems to want him at all which makes him wants her you know what im talking about? lmao hope thats not confusing thank you in advance! 💚
Pairings: Regulus Black x  Reader 
Rating: T 
Author Note: This will be a two part series. 
_______________
“He’s so cute.”
You looked up at your friend Jenny’s voice. Frowning, you turned in the direction that she was looking. Automatically, you rolled your eyes...Regulus Black . It seemed like every girl in Slytherin...hell any girl in whatever house was always fawning over Sirius and Regulus Black. Both boys eagerly fed into the crazy around them too.
Every girl seemed to love him...every girl but you. You didn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with Regulus. To your displeasure, that seemed to make him want you all the more. Anytime you turned around there he was giving you that ‘fuck me and I’ll love you forever” smile. Fuck me and love you forever was actually debatable. Regulus never seemed to keep a steady girlfriend for more than a few weeks.
“Regulus Black, I am not about to be another notch on your bedpost. I don’t care how good-looking you are.”
That seemed to only encourage Regulus to chase you more. He decided to start sending you roses, jewelry, anything that he thought would charm you. To Regulus’ displeasure, nothing seemed to charm you. You would give him a polite thank you but would never accept the offer of dates, the best love-making that you would ever experience, the promise that his wandering would stop...or whatever Regulus could come up with. You would politely remind him that he was 15 years old and no Casanova.
“Jenny, you need to stop. The last time that you did anything with Regulus resulted in you getting your heartbroken.”
You wanted to protect your friend. She had dated Regulus over a month ago and as usual, the relationship lasted all of two weeks before falling apart into hell fire. Regulus was just fine and moved onto some sixth-year Slytherin girl (that was perched on his lap petting his cheek as if he was a little puppy.) This left Jenny an emotional wreck that you had to deal with. Jenny had come crying to you when she caught Regulus snogging some girl from Hufflepuff. It had taken all that you had not to ask her what she expected.
“I can’t help it. Y/n, you have to admit that he is good-looking.”
You put your quill down.
“Yes, Jenny. Regulus is extremely good looking but he’s a pig!”
You said the last part loud enough for Regulus to hear. Standing up, you saw his grey eyes locked on you as he shoved the girl off of his lap.
“Just don’t Regulus.”
You commented holding a hand up. You didn’t have the strength to deal with him at the moment. It had been a long day and you were tired. Regulus jumped up before reaching out and taking your hand in his. He gave you a sweet smile before kissing your hand.
“Y/n, you smell so nice. Why won’t you give me a chance? I can be a good boyfriend...if I have the right girl.”
Normally if Regulus did this, whatever girl it was, would give in. You, however, were the one girl that seemed to be the biggest pain in his ass. It didn’t matter how adorable, sweet, or precious he was, you always said no.
“Well, good luck finding her. You’ve had half of the girl in the castle underneath you. There are still some girls that you haven’t bedded yet.”
Regulus winced.
“You know that isn’t true.”
You nodded.
“Yes, it is. Like I told you before, Regulus, I will not be another notch on your bedpost. You haven’t changed or made any effort to.”
You were pleased with the stunned smile on Regulus’ face as you reached out and pushed one of his curls away from his face.
“You would be the best looking boy in this castle if you weren’t such a slut.”
It took all that you had not to laugh at the expression on his face in addition to his friends. Evan Rosie’s mouth was hanging open while Barty Crouch Jr was wincing and looking for a place to hide.
“I am not a slut!”
Regulus snapped, completely stunned that you had spoken to him like that. If it was any other girl, Regulus probably would have thrown a huge tantrum. He, instead, stood looking at you as if you had slapped him.
“How many girls have you slept with this week? What do you even know about me?”
You asked. Regulus blinked as he tried to come up with a number to offer you. When he couldn’t you shook your head.
“My point exactly. Make sure that you are using a condom. I would hate for you and your cute ass to get some kind of cooties.”
You turned on your heel and walked out of the common room leaving Regulus in a state of shock. Evan was the first to speak. He stood and put a hand on Regulus’ shoulder.
“Mate, I am sorry to say this, but she verbally spanked you.”
Regulus stood stewing a few moments before taking off after you. There was no way in hell that he was about to let you get away that quickly. No one talked to Regulus Black that way!
“Y/n, wait!”
You turned from your place at the top of the staircase as Regulus ran up after you. He stood a minute catching his breath before speaking.
“Chocolate frogs.”
You frowned.
“Excuse me?”
Regulus ran a hand through his hair.
“Chocolate frogs are your favorite candy. You have (insert your eye color) eyes. Your favorite subject is potions and you are better than anyone else in our class. You also like to go to the astronomy tower on full moons because it's the only time you have a chance to see anything so beautiful. There is also the fact that you love those muggle romance novels but don’t believe in love because no one has given you any reason to believe that love is real. What if I told you that I felt the same way...that’s why I am this way but...I really think that you could change me...I just need a chance.”
You almost made a comment about Regulus being a stalker but didn’t.
“You’ve noticed all of that about me?”
Regulus nodded.
“I have. Please baby...just once chance.”
You reached out and ruffled Regulus’ hair making him nearly fall backward.
“As thoughtful and probably well-rehearsed that was...actions speak louder than words. Show me a miracle and then we’ll talk.”
You patted his cheek before turning and walking away with a smug smile on your face. A girl finally shut Regulus Black up.
Go me.
_____
@amelie-black @regulusslut @truly-insatiable @realgaytrash @fandomsxxregulus @quuenofblacks @hazncalsgal @rubyroscoe1 @criminalyetminimal @whymyparentscheckmyphone @teletubiswszpilkach @mimisparkle12 @fific7 @bennyberry @jessyballet @knreidy1 @acciosiriusblack @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @stuckinsaudi1 @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner
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Teenagers Part 2
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Link to Part 1 
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: M
______
Getting out of potions didn’t come fast enough! As soon as the bell rang, Regulus was on his feet and out of the room. You let out a sigh and sat back in your chair.
I can’t believe that I told him that I wasn’t dating his brother…
You thought miserably before standing up and picking up your bag. The clear embarrassment of your action was finally hitting home. Instead of asking Regulus how his day was or some other nice comment you instead told him that you weren't dating his brother. Putting your hand over your face, you big Slughorn a good day. Why would Regulus care if you were dating Sirius or not? It wasn’t like he liked you or anything. Just because he was looking at you didn’t mean that he liked you.
I’m an idiot.
Walking into the Gryffindor common room, you were thankful to see Remus sitting by himself. There was no sign of James nor Sirius and you were thankful. You needed to whine to Remus and he of all people would be sympathetic.
“Remus.”
You whined his name before sitting down and smashing your face into his upper arm.
“Bad day?”
Remus questioned. You nodded and decided to bury yourself in his robes.
“It must have been a bad day. You haven’t done this in a long time.”
You groaned.
“I am never coming out again. I can’t show my face in the great hall or any class that Regulus Black is in ever again.”
Remus chuckled. While he was surprised to hear Regulus’ name come out of your mouth, he wasn’t about to give you a hard time like your brother would.
“Now, Y/n, you will have to come out from under my robes. I can’t go to class with you attached to me like a baby koala. People will ask questions.”
You whined again.
“Come on, Remus. It was a horribly embarrassing moment that I don’t think that I will ever live down. Just tell Sirius that I have taken up residence with you and he will have to get used to it or keep his shirt on.”
Remus patted your back.
“Now you know that Sirius isn’t the most patient of people and it will be hard to talk to Regulus if you’re attached to me. I don’t think he will be too interested if you are with me.”
“It doesn’t matter. I can never talk to him again.”
Remus looked up as Marlene and Lily walked in. Both girls stopped at the sight of you hiding inside of Remus’ robes. Remus gave them a small shrug.
“She’s had a super dinosaur-sized embarrassing moment that involves Regulus and won't come out.
“Oh god, Remus who are you talking to?”
You asked. Marlene gave Lily a smirk before both girls came to sit on the couch.
“Just Marlene and I.”
Lily softly replied before gently reaching out and pulling you away from Remus.
“Y/n, we know that you want to use Remus as a security blanket but you know that Sirius won’t be too happy with that.”
You sighed.
“It's horrible. I made the biggest fool out of myself. Regulus probably thinks that I’m an idiot. It's no wonder that he ran out of that class so fast.”
Marlene gave you a confused expression.
“Sweetie, what happened? You’re killing us.”
You stood up and ran a hand through your hair.
“He’s my partner in potions. We were talking and he asked if I was friends with Sirius. Do you want to know what my comment was? Instead of saying yes like a normal person I automatically said we aren’t dating. Like who does that?”
Lily gave you her warm motherly smile.
“What did he say?”
You groaned.
“His exact words were...I wasn’t asking. He also called me sassy.”
Remus’ comforting smile took over his face.
“Regulus doesn’t know half of that.”
Remus was pleased when you finally smiled. You took a breath before sitting back down in between Remus and Lily as Marlene took her turn to laugh.
“That really isn’t that bad, Y/n. You didn’t scream at him or step on his feet or anything...I understand your embarrassment but it's going to be okay. You kind of have to throw that disclaimer about Sirius and yourself out there. If people didn’t know the two of you better they would think that the both of you were a couple.”
“The same could be said about us too.”
Remus added. You dramatically groaned again.
“I should just date you and Sirius...it would be easier.”
“What would be easier?”
The conversation instantly stopped when James and Sirius stepped into the room. James looked between Remus and yourself.
“So back to my question...what would be easier?”
“Bashing my face into the floor.”
You commented. James grinned before wiggling his way between Lily and yourself.
“Having a bad day, sissy?”
You nodded and laid your head on his shoulder.
“Just made a fool out of myself...nothing new.”
James laughed.
“In front of who.”
Your mouth immediately dropped remembering just whom you were speaking to. James would have a cow if he knew that you were crushing on the one boy that James seemed to despise more than Severus Snape.
“Does it really matter? I’m just going to be a cat lady.”
Sirius started laughing at that one.
“I don’t get along with cats, love.”
You looked up.
“I will just live in the basement of the home that you purchase with Remus.”
Sirius chuckled before kneeling down in front of you.
“Come on now, you are a very pretty girl, Y/n. There are a lot of boys out there that would love to date you.”
“I can name one!”
Dorcas added. James’ eyes were on Dorcas at that one.
“Who? Who is he? I need to know.”
Dorcas grinned, ignoring how you were silently pleading with her to stop.
“Regulus.”
Both James and Sirius’ mouths dropped.
“Like my brother? He doesn’t like anyone but himself.”
James jumped up and shook his head. It would be a cold day in hell before he was okay with you dating Regulus. The kid was a punk...a snarky sarcastic little punk that cared way too much about his headful of curly hair.
“I’ll light him on fire before that happens. There are a lot of other girls out there. Regulus can go find another dude’s sister...not mine.”
Sirius too was laughing.
“Prongs, you really don’t have to worry about that. 1st off, Regulus doesn’t know how to talk to a woman. 2nd, no woman would put up with my mother as a mother-in-law. I prefer to call her a monster-in-law. 3rd, Regulus would just scare Y/n off with his less than sunny disposition.”
James grinned.
“I don’t think that the boy knows how to smile.”
You leaned back further against the couch forcing yourself to be quiet. As much as you wanted to defend Regulus, you knew that it would be a bad idea.
“He did smile at me today.”
Both James and Sirius turned to look at you like an overprotective mother hen.
“Why was he smiling at you?”
James snapped.
“Well, he is my potions partner.”
You commented while mentally smacking yourself for even providing that information. Sirius tilted his head to the side.
“What were the two of you talking about?”
“Potions stuff. I answered a question that he didn’t think that I would know...it wasn’t anything major so before you two form an angry lynch mob just stop.”
James did as you asked but internally made a note to himself to keep an eye on you anytime that you were near Regulus Black.
“Okay, that is understandable.”
(meanwhile)
Regulus stormed into the Slytherin common room and tossed his potions book on the couch beside Evan.
“Bad day, star shine?”
Regulus scowled at his friend as Barty sat down clearly interested in whatever was bugging Regulus.
“Not bad...I just made a fool out of myself...I don’t think that I can go back to potions again.”
“And why is that?”
Evan questioned. Regulus sat down and started playing with the golden snitch that was in his pocket.
“Y/n Potter is in my class.”
“And?”
Barty questioned, reminding Regulus of a housewife that spied on their neighbors whenever there was the slightest bit of drama.
“She’s my potions partner for the semester. It was a disaster. First I asked her if she knew how to talk then I called her sassy.”
A smile was already playing on Evan's lips. Regulus knew that he was about to be torn apart by his friends.
Can I just die already?
Regulus muttered before grabbing at the golden snitch again.
“She wasn’t mad. She didn’t even seem the least bit bothered by it. The girl actually responded with you don’t know the half of it. That just intrigued me more and my stupid ass self asked if she was friends with my brother. She immediately told me that she wasn’t dating him. It was awkward for both of us. She probably thinks that I’m a dick because I said I wasn’t asking instead of something...nicer. Ugh...she probably thinks that I am living up to my fucking reputation that I have to have with the Potters.”
Evan started laughing.
“Good one, Reg. Next time compliment her on her eyes or something.”
“Yeah, I wish that I did that this time.”
Regulus muttered as Barty hopped up.
“You should go talk to her now. What does she like?”
Regulus frowned.
“Hell if I know. There is another problem. It's something that we already discussed...her big-headed brother.”
Evan rolled his eyes.
“We can deal with Potter. He isn’t hovering over his sister all of the time anyway. The boy needs to go play quidditch or develop another hobby. The girl will never get a boyfriend with him scaring every guy away.”
“I’m not scared of him if that is what you are implying.”
Regulus added with a dark glare. Evan held a hand up.
“Did those words leave my mouth?”
Regulus quickly jumped up.
“I need to go clear my head. Later.”
Regulus’ mind was still a pretzel of emotions when dinner time came. He was mentally trying to sort out his feelings. On one hand, dating you wouldn’t be easy. His parents probably wouldn’t be happy. Granted, he could use the “she’s a pureblood” excuse but Walburga would probably accuse you of being a blood traitor. Regulus could also argue that he wanted to be with you and liked you. After Sirius left, Walburga’s scathing nature seemed to cool a bit, and whenever Regulus said that he wanted something he pretty much got it. Regulus was afraid that he would turn into one of those girl-crazy morons who lost themselves in their girlfriends. The last thing that he wanted to do was be tending to someone's every displeasure.
On the other hand, Regulus wouldn’t be so alone. With Evan dating a new girl every other week, the only company that Regulus had was Barty and that got old fast. It would also be nice to have someone to kiss and cuddle with. The physical parts of a relationship sounded nice too. Regulus played his part of “disinterested in love” so well but deep down he wanted to have a girl to love on. Evan made that part look “fun.”
Regulus glanced across the room to where you sat talking to Lily Evans and that god awful Dorcas Meadowes. Everything about you seemed perfect. Regulus sighed as he looked at your hands that were twirling your hair around your finger.
Those would fit perfectly with mine...and those lips…
Regulus sighed. Was he that pathetic that he was drooling over you from afar? It wasn’ that he hadn’t had the opportunity to find a lover. There were plenty of opportunities. He could count at least five girls that were desperate for his attention.
They aren’t Y/n.
(meanwhile)
“Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!”
You smirked at the joke that Dorcas had just told hoping to beat one that Sirius just told.
“That’s the best that you’ve got? You are the dad joke person. Mine are actually funny.”
Sirius questioned. Dorcas picked up a dinner roll and tossed it at Sirius’ face as you sat laughing quietly.
“I thought it was amusing.”
You said, politely. Dorcas grinned.
“See Sirius, at least someone here has manners.”
Sirius shrugged and went back to his conversation with James leaving the conversation. Dorcas sighed.
“So much for that. Are you feeling any better?”
You shrugged.
“I don’t know. I am still slightly embarrassed.”
Dorcas glanced at the Slytherin table where Regulus sat with his eyes locked on you. She gave Lily a wink as Lily too noticed the boy’s eyes. Grinning, Dorcas elbowed you in the side.
“Don’t look super quick but Regulus has been staring at you for a good few minutes.”
You quickly looked up and sure enough, Regulus’ gaze was right on you.
Oh Merlin, don’t do anything stupid….don’t make a fool out of yourself...just don’t...smile...smile like a normal human.
You took a breath before smiling. Regulus watched you for a moment longer before giving you a one-sided smile that slowly spread a little wider. It wasn’t a smile like his brother would give but perfect for Regulus. You didn’t foresee him being a big “I’m going to smile all of the time” person. He seemed much more serious than that...and you were fine with it. If you could put a smile on his face...just once...you have been happy.
The cute moment was ruined when Barty Crouch Jr hit Regulus' hand that was holding his drink knocking the liquid all over his lap. Regulus’ gaze was gone as he smacked Barty in the back of the head. You knew that you had lost him at that point, he was too busy fussing at Barty who had turned around to defend himself.
“Those two would be perfect for each other.”
Your head snapped up hearing James' voice.
“Who?”
James motioned to Regulus and Barty.
“Psycho and clueless over there.”
“That’s mean, James.”
You said with a displeased expression. James, in a very sassy manner, put his hand on his chest.
“Don’t tell me that you have come to care for him.”
You rolled your eyes.
“I never said that. You can just be mean.”
James brushed you off with a grin. He wasn’t sure what was going on in your head. If you thought for one moment that he would be okay with you crushing on Regulus Black then you had another thing coming.
“Calm down, I didn’t mean to insult your little boyfriend.”
“He isn't my boyfriend.”
You snapped, a little louder before picking up your book and smacking James shoulder with it before standing up. You didn’t realize that your comment was a little louder than you planned. Thankfully, most of the great hall had cleared out but Regulus and Evan were watching with matching grins.
Blushing, you quickly turned and walked from the great hall without another word.
The next morning, you sat in Potions waiting for Regulus to show up. You were absolutely a nervous wreck. For most of the morning, you had set up a mantra of,
“I will not make a fool out of myself. I will be sweet and charming...I’ll be my nice self...I won’t be weird….don't be weird.”
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t feel Regulus sit down beside you.
“Just so you know, my friend Evan is in love with you.”
You looked up like a deer locked in a car’s headlights. Regulus was looking over at you with the same smile from the night before.
“Lord, why?”
Regulus chuckled.
“You whacked that cocky brother of yours with a book. We have been wanting to do that since 1st year.”
You nervously laughed.
“Well, I do it about once a week. Try living with him. Do me a favor and tell Evan, no. No offense but he’s a dick.”
Regulus chuckled. On the outside, he was playing cool but on the inside, he was jumping up and down with glee over the fact that you showed no interest in Evan.
“I’ve heard that a time or two.”
“He comes off as desperate and girls really don’t like that..at least I don’t.”
You commented. Regulus looked over his shoulder for Slughorn. He silently prayed the teacher wouldn't come back for some time.
“What do you like?”
Your face blushed at the question.
“Well, I suppose someone who can handle themselves without me needing to hold their hand every second of the day. A sensitive side too isn’t bad. As much as I love a good laugh...funny can’t happen all of the time. A girl wants some romance.”
Regulus nodded and thought with a smile…
I can do all of those things!
“Why do you ask?”
You choked out. Regulus shrugged.
“Just curious. Every girl seems to be different.”
“It's not like I will find anyone anyway.”
Regulus looked up at that comment.
“Why would you say something like that?”
You shrugged.
“Because that guy doesn’t exist apparently. “
You could feel Regulus’ dark eyes burning a hole right through you. He leaned back in his chair with a haughty smile that reminded you so much of his brother.
Ugh...Sirius is the last thing that I need to be thinking about right now.
You thought as Regulus finally spoke again.
“You would be surprised what you could find out there. I know that we really don’t know each other but Slughorn is having a party in a few weeks for Halloween...would you consider going with me?”
Regulus had no idea where this sudden surge of bravery came from. Internally he was panicking. What if you said no? He would have to sit beside for the rest of the semester in utter embarrassment. Of course, you were going to say no. Gryffindors didn’t date Slytherins. It just didn’t work that way…
“I’ll go with you. We may have to keep in on the down-low because of my brother...you know how he is.”
Regulus snorted.
“Like I’m really scared.”
How this conversation had gone from awkward to completely comfortable, you had no idea...but you were fine with it. Later you would probably be questioning everything but for now, you decided to go with your newfound bravery.
“I just don’t want him to give you a hard time.”
Regulus chuckled.
“Again, I’m not really concerned but if you want to keep things a little quiet for now...you know...until we figure out how we want things to go...I’m fine with that.”
“Deal.”
The following two weeks passed quickly. Unbeknownst to James and Sirius (and the rest of your friends for that matter), you had gone on two dates with Regulus. You had to congratulate yourself on James not picking up on anything. He was so busy with quidditch and getting ready for the season to start that he hadn’t noticed much of anything going on around him.
Quidditch had taken a good chunk of Regulus’ time. The two dates that you were able to have were to study together (without prying eyes) then the next one was a date on the astronomy tower. He was apologetic about not being able to give you more time but you understood. With keeping things simple there weren't a lot of expectations that either of you had to live up to. Most of the “talking” that the two of you did was through letters quietly passed in the hallways.
You were surprised at how much the two of you actually had in common. Regulus wasn’t near as cocky as Sirius. In fact, he seemed interested in most of the things that you were….the same books, songs, everything. You were thrilled that conversations between the two of you weren’t as awkward as they were the first day.
On the second date, you were convinced that Regulus was about to kiss you but he stopped. You couldn’t help but feel let down. It would have been your first kiss and damn it, you wanted it!
Calm down...it will come.
You thought over breakfast the morning of the Slytherin vs Gryffindor game. Looking over at the Slytherin table, Regulus sat in his green sweater laughing over something that Evan was saying.
Peter sitting down beside you pulled your attention away from Regulus. You reached down into your pocket for the envelope that needed to get to Regulus.
“Peter, can you do something for me?”
Peter looked up with a big smile. As much as you hated to admit it, you knew that the boy had a crush on you. You wanted to wretch at the thought. Peter had always seemed like a weakling that needed James and Sirius for protection. He definitely wasn’t a certain Slytherin who your eyes were trained on.
“Sure, what do you need, Y/n?”
You put the envelope in his hands.
“I need you to take this over to Regulus Black right now and don’t let my brother know about it. Don’t let him see you and do not tell him about it. Got it?”
Peter looked down at the envelope that had Regulus’ name written in your neat as a pin handwriting.
“Um okay. Sure.”
Peter stood up and carefully snuck his way through the groups of students. He didn’t know what was going on or what was in the envelope but it felt heavy. Why would you be sending Regulus Black something? Peter didn’t even know that the two of you were talking. The last time that he checked, James had put his foot down about Regulus.
Regulus and Evan automatically looked up when Peter came over.
“Hi, Regulus. I’m your own personal owl from over there. Y/n…”
Regulus raised an eyebrow.
“Just shut up and give me the letter, Pettigrew.”
Regulus snatched the letter out of Peter’s hand and told him to get lost. Like he was going to open whatever it was with the little rat standing in front of him. Regulus had no love lost for Peter Pettigew. Something about the boy just oozed dishonesty and Regulus wanted no part of that.
“What is it?”
Evan finally questioned. Regulus shrugged as he tore the envelope open to find no letter. Frowning, he titled it over until a locket fell out in his hand. Turning it over your initials were engraved on the front of the piece of jewelry. Regulus looked up at you with a sly smile before putting the locket on and tucking it under his sweater.
Regulus noticed Evan with a smile on his face.
“Like hell, you two have nothing going on. She sends you a locket that she always wears with her initials on it. That girl just claimed you as her property.”
Regulus couldn’t help but smile. He knew if James figured out what you did, he would be running as Regulus screaming like a maniac...but Regulus didn’t care. He didn't care what anyone had to say at the moment.
“And I am just fine with that.”
He commented before standing up. Regulus felt better about himself today than he had in a long time.
“I have a certain Gryffindor quidditch player to humiliate.”
_____
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Text
Princess Part 2
Harry Potter Marauders ERA 
Link to Part 1
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: E- smut series (porn with an actual series) 
______
The next day, it was time to go back to school. Walburga had casually given you a birth control potion before leaving the house.
“I am too young to be a grandmother and there is no point in ignoring the fact that the two of you are having sex.”
She gave both Regulus and yourself a displeased expression before going into the kitchen to look for something to clean her mouth out with. Regulus reached down to grab your ass. He didn’t care if other students were watching or that his mother was shaking her head forlornly. Regulus wasn’t for sure what his mother expected but his relationship wasn’t going to be like his parents. He wasn’t about to have a wife who didn’t feel like she was wanted or attractive. If Regulus had to take you every morning against the kitchen wall then that would be how he would handle things.
“She would die if she knew that we have been having sex for several years now.”
You gently swatted away his hand with an unspoken promise of making love that night.
“She still sees us as children.”
Regulus glanced around the room to make sure neither of his parents was in earshot.
“She can’t even say the word pussy and would die if she knew all of the dirty things that I have done to you.”
“Such a dirty boy. We’ve been sleeping in the same bed for years now. I wonder if she thought that we were seriously only sleeping?”
You said with a smile before leaning in for a kiss.
An hour later you sat on the train snuggled against Regulus as he read over the class schedule that had been sent over the last week of the summer.
“Most of our classes are together. That will be nice.”
He commented as you started to unbutton his shirt a bit.
“I want to see a little bit of your chest.
Regulus reached up and tugged your hand down. The last thing that he wanted was to be running around looking like Sirius. If things were up to you, you would have him half-naked at all times. There were just some things that he wasn’t willing to do for you!
“You see me naked enough.”
Regulus commented. You sat up enough to start sucking at his neck. When he groaned, you knew that you were going to get your way.
“Fine, unbutton it a bit.”
He groaned and shoved the schedule away. Whatever sense of focus Regulus had was thrown out the window. You quickly unbuttoned the first four buttons then stroked your hand over the forming erection.
“Fucking tease.”
Regulus said before pulling you into a kiss. You weren’t sure how long the two of you had been making out until someone knocked on the door of the compartment.
The two of you pulled away to see Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch watching the two of you with matching scowls. It didn’t take the two of you knowing each other for years to know that they were both boys were thinking,
Here we go again.
“Sorry to interrupt but Regulus we need to talk to you about business without little ears.”
Evan said, giving you an annoyed big brother like expression. Regulus quickly buttoned his shirt back up and kissed your cheek.
“I’ll be back.”
Evan gently pushed his own girlfriend in with you.
“Here, the two of you can keep each other company.”
For the rest of the trip, you and Emma were talking quietly. Emma was gushing over the emerald engagement ring that Regulus had given you.
“I wasn’t surprised when I heard about your engagement. I mean, I knew to expect it. The two of you are so hot and heavy for each other. It's adorable. I never saw Regulus so taken when he was with Ambrosia.”
Emma knew that you didn’t like that comment when you scowled. Regulus’ two-month relationship with Ambrosia Parkinson had almost ruined your friendship.
“I’m sorry! I only meant...Regulus is….”
You held up a hand with a smile.
“I know, Emma. Relax I was trying to mess with you too.”
The rest of the way to school, you kept checking for Regulus to show up. A few moments later, you were joined by Melissa Webber and two other girls that you recognized as being third and fourth years. Emma gave you a scowl when Melissa sat down. It was no secret to you that Emma disliked Melissa. You had the feeling that it had to do with Melissa having a crush on Evan. It didn’t matter how many times you told Emma that she had nothing to worry about or how many times you told her that you actually liked Melissa...she never eased up.
It's not like Evan is going to do anything about it. He is so love stuck on Emma that Melissa doesn’t have a prayer.
You thought with a smile as Melissa smiled your way. She smiled shyly.
“Y/n, I saw Regulus a moment ago when he and Evan were going to the back of the train. He said that we all have a lot of the same classes this year.”
You nodded before taking the schedule that Melissa was so excitedly holding out.
“It looks like we do. Did Regulus say where he was going?”
Melissa shook her head. After having Regulus chew her out the year prior, she learned not to question the boy on where he was going. It didn’t matter that you had asked her to keep an eye on Regulus. This was before he told you about his being a death eater. Regulus had become distant and you were worried about your boyfriend going astray.
After getting the ass-chewing of a lifetime, Melissa decided that she was no longer questioning Regulus on anything. Regulus could tell her that pig could fly and she would probably go along with it.
“No, sorry. I’m sure he will be back soon.”
You sat back in your seat as Emma patted your hand.
“You know what it's about and Melissa is right. Everything will be just fine. Melissa, did you see the engagement ring that Regulus bought her? It's one of a kind.”
Melissa missed how Emma was trying to be snarky. Emma was not about to miss any opportunity to rub it in Melissa’s face that the two of you came from money and were marrying into it. Poor Melissa never had a boyfriend and had no prospect of an engagement.
“Oh! No, you didn’t show me! Let me see, Y/n.”
You held out your hand as Melissa gazed at your ring. Emma gave you a smirk before beginning to speak again.
“Over Christmas, we should go look at dresses. Evan told me that Walburga and Orion didn’t put a limit on your wedding costs. We must look at lingerie too. We can find something that won’t keep the blood flowing in Regulus’ head.”
You smirked.
“I’m sure he will be thrilled just like he is with the rest of my lingerie.”
Before Melissa or Emma could say something, the compartment door opened and a boy by the name of Alexander James came in. You internally rolled your eyes at the thought of Alexander. He was the Ravenclaw seeker and had a personal vendetta to piss Regulus off. It started with Alexander having a crush on you that didn't diminish when he found out just who your boyfriend was. It ended up carrying onto the quidditch pitch when Slytherin kicked the cream cheese out of Ravenclaw (Regulus may or may not have intentionally knocked Alexander off of his broom too...but that wasn’t important.) Regulus and Evan called Alexander “Alexander two first names” which Alexander also found annoying.
He had come into the compartment the moment that he didn’t see Regulus or Evan sitting with you. Had one or the other been in the compartment, Alexander wouldn’t have bothered. He wasn't in a mood for dueling with the two other boys who usually kicked his butt.
“Y/n, ladies, I hope all of you had a great summer.”
You met Emma’s eyes. She gave you a sneer of annoyance. Without speaking the two of you were agreeing on the fact that he had to be barking mad to go into a train compartment with two death eater’s girlfriends.
“It was nice.”
You replied, crossing your legs. Emma came in quickly too.
“Considering you got engaged, I would think that your summer was more than nice.”
Alexander frowned. That was the last thing that he wanted to hear. You were too good of a woman to be with Regulus Black. Alexander didn’t care how noble or respected the Black family was.
“You’re engaged?”
“Yes.”
You said, with a smile before flashing your engagement ring. Alexander recovered from his shock quickly.
“An emerald, how common of a Slytherin and kind of expected. I was looking at the quidditch schedule and it appears that Ravenclaw is against Slytherin for the first match. Do you plan on coming?”
You were fuming over the comment about your engagement ring.
“Considering that my fiance is the Slytherin seeker, I would say the chances are pretty good. As far as my engagement ring, I don’t think it's common. It's actually a one of a kind piece.”
Before Alexander could respond the compartment door came open and Regulus stepped inside with Evan behind him. Both stopped the moment that they noticed Alexander. Evan gave Regulus a grin before speaking.
“Alexander two names. Did you get lost trying to find other Ravenclaws? Every girl in here is in Slytherin.”
“He could be color blind.”
Regulus suggested as he sat down beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
“Miss me, princess?”
“Of course.”
You replied. Alexander watched with a sneer as Regulus kissed you.
“I’m out.”
He snapped before getting up and leaving. Evan raised an eyebrow and motioned to the place where Alexander had been sitting.
“What was that about?”
Emma leaned back against her fiancé’s arm.
“The fool has it bad for Y/n. Don’t worry, Reg. We took care of it. He looked like someone kicked him in the balls when he saw her engagement ring.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, making a mental note to meet up with Alexander in a dark hallway at some point in the future.
“He should be sick. He can’t afford anything that nice. His family is a bunch of blood traitors anyway.”
Regulus commented before taking his hand in yours. He waited until Evan and Emma were lost in their own conversation before leaning over to you. You instantly broke into chills as his mouth touched your ear.
“I want you in my bed tonight.”
He gave you that raised dom eyebrow expression that left your legs shaking without even being touched.
That night both Regulus and yourself remained in the common room until everyone cleared out.
“Time for bed, love”
Regulus said with a smirk before picking you up bridal style. The other boys were asleep when Regulus stepped into the room. Only Evan sat up and was reading. He looked up at Regulus holding you before looking back down.
“Have fun and for the love of Merlin use a silencing charm. I don’t want to hear.”
Regulus gently tossed you onto his waiting bed before closing the curtains. He cast the silencing charm as Evan requested. Had it been anyone but Evan, Regulus would have been a cocky shit and made whoever it was, listen to the sounds of you moaning his name.
You quickly undressed as Regulus unbuttoned his shirt.
“Take all of it off. I don’t want to waste time.”
Regulus hissed. His sweet calm nature quickly had changed to an annoyed, sassy, and almost jealous way. You knew exactly what this was about...Alexander.
“What did he want?”
Regulus hissed as he spread your legs. You quickly reached up and tugged your lover down for a fiery possessive kiss.
“I told you. He thinks that he can have something that he can’t have.”
“Something that’s mine.”
Regulus said, in a cold voice. You gently moved out from underneath Regulus and pushed him onto his back. You placed your thighs on either side of his body. Regulus looked up at you with an extra sassy expression.
“Yes, something that’s yours. Yours and yours alone...I think we both know that I have been your girl since we were children.”
You ran your hands down his chest before running over his erection that was pressed between your body and his stomach.
“Love…”
Regulus groaned. He automatically bucked his hips into you. You took his left hand and pressed kisses to each knuckle.
“Fucking tease.”
Regulus said, reaching between your bodies to tease at your clit.
“See how wet you make me? You worry about Alexander for no reason.”
Regulus’ eyes snapped open.
“Can we not talk about him when we are about to fuck?”
“Make love.
You corrected. Regulus rolled his eyes. After being back with Evan and the others for a short period, Regulus had forgotten about your girly needs. He didn’t mind if you wanted to say making love, fucking, whatever. You were happy underneath him and that was what he wanted. The fact that you didn’t want anything to do with the little prick from Ravenclaw was enough to keep Regulus happy.
“Sorry, princess. Now, why don’t you lay back and let me show you what a pureblood fucks like.”
You didn’t have to be told twice to lay backward at the foot of the bed. Regulus’ eyes rolled up to make sure that the bed hangings were securely closed. The last thing that he wanted was his naked ass spied on by fucking Barty Crouch Jr. Regulus made a mental note to tell Barty that if he was so desperate for companionship to go talk to Melissa. That would be a great disaster in the making.
“Reggie.”
You whined his name, pulling Regulus from his thoughts. He smiled before wrapping your legs around his waist and leaning down for a kiss. Regulus gently nipped at your bottom lip before kissing you fully. He slipped his tongue inside as you moaned against his mouth. Enjoying the quiet moment of french kissing didn’t last long. The desperate need for “more” was quickly setting in.
The moment that Regulus pushed in your purred against his lips. Regulus chuckled before moving his mouth away from yours for a moment.
“Mum would have died from embarrassment if she knew that we were snogging on the train. She really thinks we are good little kids. I’ve turned you into a bit of a needy little minx.”
You closed your eyes and bit your bottom lip. In your mind, you silently thanked Sirius and his insane porn collection. Regulus wrapped his hand around your right breast and began to knead the plump flesh. His thrusts became more deliberate and hyper-focused on your spot.
“Reggie, harder!”
You whimpered against his mouth. The tension was building inside of you quickly. Both of you tonight would be a quickie. Sex for the next few months would be quickies. It was hard to sneak around Hogwarts and have long romantic sex sessions. When Regulus started quidditch in the next month, you knew that your lover’s time would become even more strained.
The realization at just how little that you would see Regulus hit you like a brick to the stomach. Over the years of your life, you were used to him always being around. As children, he was your playmate. It was always the two of you together (when you were at Grimmauld Place). When you were with your grandparents, Regulus got Walburga to write to you multiple times a day (even if it was the same conversation over and over). He didn’t care and neither did you. Your connection was what mattered. This was most likely what persuaded Walburga to arrange the marriage. She knew that you would be taken care of and so would Regulus. What she didn’t prepare you for was the life-sucking loneliness that you would soon feel. Walburga assured you that you would be just fine without Regulus’ constant presence.
“So close, princess.”
Regulus grunted. He didn’t have any clue what was going through your mind. If he did, he didn’t seem to let on. Regulus’ mind was too occupied by your body milking him for all that he was worth.
Your body tightened around his and sent Regulus over the path of no return. Finishing inside of you, Regulus waited a moment before pulling out enough to gather you into his arms. His fingers stroked your scalp gently as Regulus kept you securely snuggled against him.
When you didn’t speak, Regulus immediately picked up on your sudden sullen mood.
“What’s wrong?”
He asked, softly. You, meanwhile, knew that there was no point in bothering him with your girlish thoughts. Regulus would miss you as much as you missed him and there was no point in making things worse. He had enough on his plate without a nagging fiancé.
“Everything is perfect.”
You lied before pressing a kiss to his collarbone. Regulus seemed pleased with your answer as he snuggled his face down into the mattress.
“Stay here and keep me warm.”
Regulus whispered, tiredly. If he could, he would have you sleeping in his bed with him every night. Between being a death eater and playing quidditch, he wasn’t for sure where the time for romance would fit in but he would find a way. Stuff always worked between the two of you before so why shouldn’t it now?
____
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HP A Working Progress (one shot)
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Request Fic from @vacantpage0910
a regulus one shot where he’s paired with this other slytherin girl in class and she’s very friendly and inviting, but he keeps his cold demeanor the whole time. (Inside he’s melting as times goes on though) regardless of his hard exterior and his seemingly annoyed stature, once they’re done being partners he seeks her company out (totally by “accident” and not precise planning or memorizing her time table 😉) and the rest is up to you. I would like a fluff ending though. Maybe she could be a Potter too?
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: T 
_______
“This day!”
You snapped before throwing your bookbag on the table in front of you and plopping down across from your best friend. Winter looked up curiously from the books that she was hovering over.
“Rough day?”
Winter questioned as you looked up. You made a muffled “umhm” sound before looking up. Winter smiled, hoping to ease whatever tensions that you had.
“What’s wrong?”
You glanced over your shoulder in the direction that Regulus Black had stalked off in before turning back to your friends.
“McGonagall paired me up with Regulus Black for a project.”
Winter frowned.
“I thought that you fancied him.”
You laughed. There was no “thought” to it. You were simping for Regulus Black hard. That didn’t mean that he liked you, however.
“I do but he thinks that I am the most annoying creature known to wizardkind. Like he genuinely hates me.”
Winter gave you an amused smile. She had known about your cute little crush on Regulus Black since 2nd year.  
“He doesn’t hate you. Regulus just doesn’t know how to show any emotion other than loathing. If you had a mother like him, you would be a miserable git too. Lucky your mother is so charming.”
You had to agree with that one Euphemia Potter had to be the most wonderful mother ever! Granted, she was older than most of your friend’s mothers but that didn’t matter. You contributed that her age helped with her “mothering” style.  
Walburga Black was no source of secrecy for you. After Sirius moved in over the summer, you learned all about that “charming” woman. Regulus’ sullen and moody disposition suddenly made sense.
“He sure has a funny way of showing that he doesn’t hate me.”
You grumbled, taking a sip of the water that Winter pushed across the table. Winter smiled.
“Tell me what he said to you before you explode.”
You groaned.
“Well, there I was just minding my own business being my super friendly self when McGonagall paired me with him. He didn’t say one word when he sat down. He acted like I had some kind of cooties or something. His only words to me were you better not let me fail, I don’t like your chattering, and why do you talk so much? Tell me how that is nice? If that is nice then I must be like some kind of deity for not smiting him. Look, I get that I am a chatterbox but that’s my appeal...go ask my brother. When I stop talking that’s when he knows that there is a problem.”
Winter had to agree with James Potter on that one (what a rare occurrence). You were the girl that could sit and be nice to anyone about anything. When Winter first met you, she couldn’t help but wonder how in the hell you had been sorted into Slytherin. You seemed more like a Hufflepuff yet here you were dressed in green and silver. It didn’t take Winter long to be over the moon for you. When she had a nasty letter from home or something else was bothering her in the slightest, you were the person to go to.
“You are not a chatterbox.”
“Come on, Winter. This is me that we are talking about.”
Winter rolled her eyes.
“Shut up, smart mouth. I was simply saying that you are an enjoyable person to talk to. You have a very nice refreshing outlook compared to the rest of us in this house. Yes, you're sassy but that adds to your appeal. What did you say to him?”
You scowled over at Regulus who was talking to Evan Rosier about something. Neither boy looked in your direction for a moment. It was Evan that turned to you first. You quickly turned back to Winter. The last thing that you wanted was for Evan to think that you were looking at him. That boy’s head was big enough as it was. He didn't need any help from you.
“I just muttered rude under my breath. Now I am stuck with him for the next two weeks.”
Winter smiled.
“Just go snog him and get it over with. I see how he looks at you.”
You started dying laughing at that. Winter sat looking at you with a look of contempt as you continued to laugh so hard tears streamed down your cheeks.
“Are you done?”
You shook your head as Regulus walked over. Winter smirked as you continued to laugh hysterically.
“What did you do to her, Winter?”
Regulus questioned as your laughter suddenly stopped. Your face reminded Regulus of a little strawberry as you turned to look at him before turning back to your friend. He was feeling a bit guilty about being such a dick in transfiguration. It wasn’t like you were being rude or obnoxious. Regulus simply didn’t know how to deal with people asking him questions or his opinion on something. He was the one that most people ignored and forgot was there.
“If that is what you think, Winter then that makes me an astronaut.”
“I’m not joking. Hi, Regulus. Do you need something?”
Winter continued, for the moment ignoring Regulus who was clearly trying to put everything together.
“Yeah, Y/n, we need to start working on that project.”
You scooted over to give him enough room to sit down. Winter stood to pick her books up.
“I have to get to potions. See you later, Y/n.”
You nodded before turning to face Regulus. His dark eyes were focused on the table in front of him. This was going to be an awkward project if you were going to be the one doing all of the talking.
“What days do you want to work on this?”
You questioned as Regulus looked up finally. Why was being nice so freaking difficult? Regulus wasn’t for sure why he had to be so snotty toward you. Maybe it had to do with James being your brother? It wasn’t your fault that James Potter was your brother. Just like it wasn’t his fault that Sirius was his older brother.
“Most of my afternoons are free. I have quidditch in the evenings during the week. Would you meet me in the library?”
You nodded in agreement. The inner girl in you was thrilled with the prospect of spending your afternoons with the boy that you had a crush on. If you could get him to talk things would be even better.
“That sounds fine to me.”
Regulus took a breath before turning back to face you. You reminded him of James (just a James that he didn’t want to smack.)
“About earlier...I’m sorry….I was kind of a jerk. Apparently, I’m not much of a morning person.”
Regulus was relieved when you smiled.  
She’s smiling because of me. Merlin, I made a girl smile...I can do it!”
Regulus couldn’t help the thoughts going through his mind. Other than Ambrosia Parkinson, who only liked him for his family name, no other girl looked at him like that.
“You’re in luck to have me for a partner. I can make dandy coffee.”
Regulus smirked.
“Will it take the paint off of the walls?”
You liked “this” side of Regulus. This boy seemed happy.  
“If that is what you want.”
Over the following week and a half, the two of you spent every free moment together. Regulus wasn’t for sure when it happened but he realized that he was falling for you hopelessly.
I need to stop...I have to stop. It wouldn’t work. My parents would never agree to this...but I don’t care. Today is the last day of the project. I have to talk to her today. If I don’t do it then I will spend the rest of my life regretting being a chicken. What if she doesn’t like me? She’s sweet to everyone...what if she is just being nice to get through this project?
Regulus thought as you put the finish touches on the project. He watched as your nose scrunched up as you looked everything over once more.
“Regulus?”
You saying his name didn’t get Regulus’ attention right away. Turning away from the paper, you turned to look at the boy beside you. Regulus’ eyes were locked on the table in front of him. Over the past few weeks, you had gotten used to Regulus’ hard exterior but had found ways to break through it leaving you with the boy that you liked the most. It didn’t happen often but when you did it felt like a small victory.
Reaching out, you snapped your fingers in front of his face. Regulus blinked a few times before quickly grabbing your hand. Whether it be the shock of him moving so fast or the fact that he was holding your hand, you sat staring at him as Regulus smirked.
Neither of you was ready to admit that there was clear chemistry going on. If Regulus kissed you in this particular moment, you wouldn’t have fought back.
Come on, kiss me….be nice...do something...please
You screamed in your head as Regulus continued to hold your hand in his.
“You think that you are clever, don't you?”  
You grinned.
“I would like to think so. Considering that we are in 5th year and I never have had to hex anyone...I think that I am doing downright nifty.”
Regulus didn’t want to but he slowly let your hand go.
“I’ve actually had a nice time working with you on this.”
He commented. That was the first compliment that he had let slip the whole time. You couldn’t help but be flattered.
Regulus, meanwhile, watched as the strawberry hue returned to your cheeks. He was going to miss seeing you blush over something that he said or when you knew that his eyes were on you.
I’m going to miss this.
As the next week began and life returned to normal, Regulus found himself missing spending every afternoon with you in the library. He had returned to his normal “life” of tagging after Evan and not trying to murder Barty Crouch Jr but it wasn’t the same. It didn’t matter how many stupid “dad” jokes that Evan came up with, none of them were funny as the silly childish ones that you could come up with a moments notice.
“Why don’t you go talk to her already?”
Regulus looked up from the breakfast that he was pretending to eat. He had been pushing food items around for the past half an hour and finally caught Evan’s attention.
“Who?”
Regulus questioned as Evan rolled his eyes.
“Potter. You’ve been acting like a heartbroken 19040’s housewife since that project ended.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“A 1940’s housewife?”
He questioned. Evan nodded. Over the past week, he had caught Regulus looking in your direction with a sad look on his face. It didn’t take Evan long to figure out just what was bothering his best friend.
“Yeah that or a stalker. You have been watching every move that girl makes and if it makes you feel better she is doing the same thing to you in return. She has had you wrapped around her finger from the day McGonagall set that essay. You may want to write her a thankyou note.”
Regulus’ frown deepened. Had he really missed you liking him in return? Was he that clueless that he missed everything?
“She probably thinks that I’m a jerk. I wasn’t all that friendly.”
Evan closed his book then focused his attention back to Regulus.
“What does she do at 12:30 every day?
“Goes to the lake.”
Regulus commented before his mouth dropped. How did he know this? Had he been watching you this closely?
“And you aren’t watching her.”
Evan muttered as Regulus stood up.
(meanwhile)
You sat by the lake focusing on a novel that Winter had given you to read. Typically, you weren’t one for romance novels but this one was too crappy. It seemed the closest that you were ever going to get to a romance was by reading these shitty books.
Someone sitting down across from you pulled you away from the story. Looking up, your mouth nearly dropped seeing Regulus sitting across from you.
“Hi, Regulus.”
You said with a smile. This had been the first time that the two of you had spoken since the essay ended.
“Hi, Y/n.”
You quickly reached down in your bookbag and pulled out the essay.
“Guess who got the highest scores in our class?”
Regulus smirked. He didn’t doubt that the two of you would have the best scores. It always seemed like it was the two of you trying to outdo each other when it came to grades.
“I’m guessing us.”
Regulus commented. You nodded as he looked at the book on your lap.
“Why do you read those things? My mother reads them.”
You blushed.
“Well, it's the closest to a relationship that I think that I will ever get. I know that real relationships are nothing like these books but...it's nice.”
Regulus was going on pure adrenaline at that particular moment. Where this sudden surge of bravery came from was yet to be determined.
“Stand up.”
You slowly did as you were told. Regulus stood up and took his place in front of you.
“Those books can be right...you just have to find the right person. Let me guess this is some story about a princess looking for a prince charming that doesn’t know what the hell that he’s doing?”
“Something like that.”
You muttered. Something was different in Regulus’ eyes as he looked into yours. The moment that his mouth was on yours, you didn’t know how to react. When he pulled away you stood looking at him with wide eyes.
“Whoa. Can you do that again?”
Regulus shook his head.
“In a minute, I need to tell you something first. First, I’m sorry if I was a jerk to you at all over the past few weeks. You’re a really nice girl and I have really grown to like you. I just don’t know how to do all of this love stuff…”
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you smiled.
“Kissing me again would be a great place to start.”
________
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Princess Part 12
Harry Potter Marauders Post Hogwarts 
Link to Part 11 
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: M
_____
(the next morning)
You stood outside of Sirius and Remus’ front door waiting for one of the men to answer. Regulus stood beside you with his hood up. The less that there were chances for Regulus to be recognized then the better off the both of you were. He looked down when your arm tightened around his.
“Alright?”
He questioned. You nodded, periodically looking over your shoulder.
“Fine. How are you feeling?”
You knew that you were asking Regulus this question fifty times a day and it was annoying him. He would never say anything but you could see that “look” in his eyes. Whether Regulus would admit it or not, you knew that your lover was still dealing with the after-effects of nearly being killed and of that god awful potion that he drank. Regulus wouldn’t say it but you could see how pale and sickly that he looked from time to time. The days that he seemed to feel the worst, Regulus was happy to do nothing more than to curl up with his head on your lap and sleep all day. As you would sit and stroke your fingers through his hair, you had a bad feeling that Regulus would be in “recovery mode” for a long time. If it took you chasing after him to make sure that he wouldn’t waste away in front of you then so be it.
There were also the darker “effects” that he was going through that you didn’t want to think about. Regulus was drinking a lot more than you had ever seen before. You knew that the nightmares and the physical pain that he was going through contributed to this but you were still worried. When Regulus had to have a drink to be able to function, you knew that there was a problem.
He wouldn’t admit to it either. When you would politely mention that he was drinking too much you either got some snippy comment to bug off or mind your own business. Luckily for you, the only positive side of Regulus being drunk was the fact that he turned into a needy snuggly mess that didn’t want to let go of you. That particular outcome could either be nice or problematic depending on what you were doing at the time. Cleaning the house with him trying to snuggle you the whole way was difficult.
“I’m fine, princess.”
He replied, curtly. Regulus knew that he blatantly lied to you and that he should feel bad but he didn’t. He didn’t want to tell you that he felt like vomiting in Sirius’ bushes. If Regulus told you that he wasn’t feeling well, you would probably try to mother him and that was the last thing that he needed at the moment.
Part of Regulus was thrilled to be going to stay with Sirius (he wasn’t going to say that out loud) the other part was pissy about having to give up what independence that the two of you had gained. It was nice to finally have his own home that he could share with you (without his parents hovering) now he had lost that for the foreseeable future. What little independence that Regulus had gained was being snatched away and he had no input in the matter.
I’m doing this to keep Y/n and me safe. I’m doing a good thing.
Regulus muttered over and over in his head as you nuzzled closer to him. He breathed in the scent of your perfume and automatically felt somewhat better. The positive about the whole thing was the fact that you were going to be with him. Barty Crouch Sr granted you leave until things “smoothed over” and Regulus was thrilled about that. Maybe in the, however long this hiding thing was going to last, he could convince you that you didn’t need to return to work for that horrible man.
Looking down at you, Regulus felt instantly bad about his response. You didn’t say anything but he could see the annoyance in your eyes.
“You look beautiful, love.”
Regulus leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek. He let his mouth linger on your cheek until you finally took the bait and turned to wrap your arms around his neck.
“You’re so cute when you blush.”
Regulus said with a smirk as you dropped a hand to lock around the lapel of his coat.
“Be a good girl and kiss me.”
You didn’t need much more encouragement than that. Regulus groaned the moment your mouth was on his. Whatever negative feelings that the two of you were previously thinking about seemed to vanish the moment that the kiss became heated.
“I have a feeling that we are about to be seeing a lot of this.”
Regulus immediately pulled away from you the moment that he heard Sirius’ voice. Quickly turning to the door, Sirius and Remus stood watching the two of you with amused smirks. Remus was actually being respectful and looking at the ground. Sirius was gleefully watching like he had never seen two people make out before.
“Really, Sirius? You are going to stand there and watch?”
Regulus muttered. Sirius shrugged.
“It was more entertaining than what was on TV. I was afraid that you were going to choke Y/n your tongue there for a moment.”
“Pervert.”
Regulus grumbled as Remus stepped out of the way.
“Okay, that’s enough. Please come in.”
Regulus wrapped his hand back around yours before limping back inside. Sirius’ eyes focused on his brother before turning to you with a frown as if questioning you what was going on. You quietly mouthed “later” to him. Sirius nodded and followed the two of you into the living room.
He already knew about Regulus’ newly found “drinking” problem. To be honest, Sirius was shocked that both Regulus and himself weren’t alcoholics. They had seen and gone through enough shit to be complete boozers. Sirius had assumed it wasn’t as bad as what you said until he saw how rough Regulus actually looked. He had assumed that you were just being a worrying wife now he wasn’t so sure.
Regulus sat down on the couch and moved to pull you down next to him. Sirius quickly stepped in.
“Y/n, want to help me make some tea? Remus won’t let me be alone in the kitchen ever since I almost set it on fire cooking dinner.”
Regulus gave his brother a cold frown.
“Did you figure out that the smoke alarm isn’t a timer?”
Sirius smirked.
“After it went off a few times and nearly scared us all to death. Y/n, I like your tea so scurry on into the kitchen.”
That wasn’t a total lie. Sirius really did enjoy your tea. He actually enjoyed any food or beverage item that you put in front of him. That was the one good thing about the brief period in which you were separated from Regulus. Sirius ate well. He assumed your cooking was something to keep your mind off of his brother and Sirius just sat back and ate the rewards.
The moment that the kitchen door was shut, Sirius turned to face you.
“What’s going on with him?
You sighed.
“He’s drinking more. I’m worried about him. He thinks that he is just fine but the man I know doesn’t drink that much.”
Sirius sighed before looking back up to your face.
“Is he treating you okay?”
You quickly nodded.
“Of course. We have our days but most of the time he’s just happy being near me. I’m not complaining about that either.”
Sirius rolled his eyes before grinning.
“I swear you two and this lovey-dovey stuff makes me sick. You two have been all over each other since we were kids. Gag! I always knew that the two of you would end up together. On a serious note, thanks for taking care of him. We’ll make sure that he gets better. I don’t want you to worry about that. I’ll kick his ass back to health and happiness.”
Neither of you noticed Regulus standing in the doorway. He quickly turned before either of you would see him. Remus didn’t look up from the book that he was reading as Regulus sat back down and for that Regulus was thankful. The last thing that he really wanted was for Remus to look at him with questions on why the boy looked so depressed.
He was making you worried...Regulus knew that you were worried about him but hearing it come from your mouth was another.
Things will get worse before they get better…
(meanwhile)
Voldemort sat at the head of Lucius Malfoy’s table looking gleefully at his followers. Crabe, Rosier, Malfoy….but where was Regulus? Voldemort hadn’t seen the boy in some time and was beginning to wonder just where the young man had run off to? He was aware that Regulus’ fiance had left him and tried to be “understanding” (or what part of understanding that Voldemort could be) as to Regulus’ predicament.
One less thing to tie him down. Regulus will be able to do great things. Now there is no woman to keep him grounded.
Voldemort thought with a pleased smile as Emma Rosier walked into the room with an annoyingly pleased smile on her face. The dark lord never had much affection for the late Evan Rosier’s choice of a wife but she proved to be loyal so that could be useful.
“My lord.”
Emma said with a pleased smile. Voldemort nodded looking almost bored.
“Emma, a pleasant surprise. Have you seen Regulus lately?”
Emma’s smile widened, if possible.
“I actually have, sir. You see, he is back with Y/n and I think that Regulus has found out a rather important secret of yours...about something that is hidden. It seems that Regulus has left us all.”
________
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Angel (one shot)
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Request  helloooo can i ask for like a quick regulus x reader oneshot where the reader sings and regulus hears her voice and basically falls in love with it but he didnt see her face so he just comes back everyday to the same place in the hope of listening to her singing and seeing her face this time? this sounds specific i know but i feel like some soft reggie is all i need now 😭
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 
Rating: M- mention of self harm 
________
Suffocating… that was the best word that Regulus could use to describe his life. After joining up with the death eaters at the lovely age of 16, Regulus had quickly grown to regret his decision. Anytime that the dark mark began to burn in the slightest, Regulus found himself dying for an excuse not to go. There was, however, not one...at least nothing in Lord Voldemort’s eyes that would be “good enough.” 
On the outside, Regulus had to keep his smooth and reserved demeanor. It didn’t matter on the inside how much he was screaming. No one cared. The people that did know what he was doing continued to go on and on about how he was doing “the right thing, the noble thing.” 
It was 7:00pm and Regulus found himself running down a quiet hallway. He had to get out of the Slytherin common room. He had to get away from Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr. They had been so gleeful over a muggle that had been murdered the night before. Neither seemed to care about this person nor the family that they left behind. Regulus, when the deed was taking place, didn’t care. He stood stony faced as the man begged for his life. The moment Voldemort uttered his “favorite” spell, Regulus had to swallow back the feeling of nausea as he watched the light leave the man’s eyes. 
Regulus had done well not thinking about the “deed” all day. It wasn’t until he returned to the common room and overheard Evan’s conversation did Regulus find himself regretting the day that he was born. 
No one asked a question when Regulus walked out of the common room. Why would they? People would be dumb to question Regulus on something. People knew not to question Regulus on his doing unless they wanted to be jumped. 
Regulus stopped the moment that his hands hit the balcony. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes mentally begging for the memory to leave his mind. 
Just stop...I fucking hate this! 
Regulus thought miserably. He was half tempted to throw himself off of the balcony. It looked like a good distance and if he was lucky wouldn’t survive the fall. Death would be better than living the way that he was at the moment! 
The brooding stopped the moment that a soft voice caught Regulus’ attention. He knew a lot of the “choir kids” would come up to this particular area of the castle to practice at points. Before today, however, Regulus had never paid any of them any attention. Today, it was different. This voice was soft, gentle...everything that Regulus needed. 
Right away he recognized the French folk song that he had heard numerous times as a child. Leaning his head back against the stone wall, all of the anxiety and tension slowly left. Regulus took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. They were no longer shaking. 
I should leave...but I don’t want to. She, whomever she is, has to have the most beautiful voice. She sounds like an angel.
Regulus thought with a tiny smile. Although he had no belief in heaven, hell, angels, or demons hearing this voice had to be what an angel would sound like if there were one. This soft voice was everything that Regulus needed to hear when he needed to be told “that everything would be alright.”  
Over the following days, Regulus found himself in the same place at the same time. It didn’t matter what kind of hell that he had going on. The moment that soft voice would sing all of the bad would vanish. Even if it was just one song, Regulus was feeling a million times better when he had to return to the Slytherin common room. 
The question plaguing Regulus’ mind now was who did the voice belong to? He had been trying to put an angelic voice with a face nonstop and was coming up with nothing. None of the girls in Slytherin house fit the idea that Regulus had in his mind. 
I have to find out.
He muttered as the signing stopped. Standing up, he quickly walked into the room not having any idea what he was about to say. Regulus knew that whatever girl this was would probably think that he was a creep for spying on her night after night. What kind of girl would want that? 
“I know you’re there.” 
The singing had stopped and was replaced with a soft comment on Regulus’ appearance. Regulus turned around to see Y/n Lupin sitting by the window. You were the girl...the voice...it all fit! Regulus blinked a few times as he took everything in. Of course, it was you. It all made sense. 
“Um...hi.”
Regulus muttered. He wasn’t for sure if he had ever spoken to you before. The two of you were in the same year but your paths didn’t cross much. You were in Hufflepuff and often kept to your little group of friends or with your older brother. 
You, meanwhile, smiled noticing Regulus’ awkward silence. 
“You’ve been up here the past few nights.” 
You commented. Regulus’ face blushed as you patted the seat beside you. Regulus slowly sat down and kept his eyes straight ahead.
He had to be a blithering idiot. There would be no way in hell that anything between the two of you would ever work. You were Remus Lupin’s sister. Regulus didn’t foresee Remus being too onboard with his sister dating a Slytherin (even if Slytherins and Hufflepuffs made great matches). 
“You were upset that first night. Are you better now?”
You asked. You knew the question was probably intrusive but it came out before you really thought better of it. That night, a few nights ago, you had been up doing what relaxed you the most...singing. When you heard the angry footsteps you considered stopping but thought about how your singing seemed to comfort your own brother when he was upset. Maybe this person needed a little comforting too (even if you didn’t know them). 
When you realized that it was Regulus Black the feeling of overwhelming sympathy washed over you. You didn’t know much about Regulus other than the fact that he was Sirius’ younger brother. Over the years that you were in school, you couldn’t help but notice how sad Regulus looked most of the time. You could see those sad dark eyes from your seat at the Hufflepuff table and wanted nothing more than to give him something to smile about. He reminded you of a puppy that had been kicked one too many times. If he was anything like Sirius then you knew that was exactly how Regulus was.
 It was no secret that Walburga Black was cruel to her children. You knew first hand of the abuse. You had heard about it from Sirius himself. If that was what was plaguing Regulus’ mind every night that he came to the balcony, maybe you could give him something to feel better about?
“There really isn’t getting any better.” 
Regulus commented as you scooted closer. You had a feelin what that vague comment was leading toward.
“About being a death eater?”
Regulus’ face went pale as he turned to look at you with wide eyes. 
“How do you know? Did my brother tell you?”
You shook your head at the raised tone of his voice. 
“Ssh now. We don’t need god and everyone to hear. I saw your arm doing potions one day.”
Regulus sneered in your direction. He didn’t know how to react. Maybe just be cold like normal? What the hell was he supposed to say?
“Let me guess, you are going to tell me that I am a horrible person and that I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing...no matter if it's what my family expected of me.”
Your momentary silence was driving Regulus nutty. After a few moments, you finally spoke. 
“No. I was actually going to say I can’t imagine what you are going through. Sometimes our families are our own worst enemies.” 
Regulus sighed.
“You’ve got that right. Look, I wasn’t spying on you. I want to just throw that out there.” 
You smiled. 
“It's alright. Your aura doesn’t seem as tense after you’re here for a bit.” 
It was Regulus’ turn to be silent. He was trying to decide if he wanted to give you a compliment. If he messed things up, there was a good chance that he would never hear your angelic voice again...and that wasn’t something that he wanted to risk losing. 
“Your voice is nice….its soothing.” 
“Thank you.”
You replied as Regulus turned back to face you. His face this time was different. He had gone from death eater to the sad puppy that needed love. 
“That first night...I was actually considering pitching myself off of that balcony. Hearing you...that was the first time I heard the most beautiful voice. It was like gravity.” 
You reached out and gently took your hand in his. Were you overstepping your boundaries with a boy that you knew nothing about and who in turn knew nothing about you? Possibly. Did you care? Not really. 
“I’m glad that you didn’t do that. You know, believe it or not, I realize how hard things can be with family. My family isn't normal…”
“Your brother is a werewolf.”
Regulus commented and instantly regretted his choice of words when your face went pale. 
“Not that it matters though. It's just who Remus is.” 
Regulus quickly added, hoping to save what hope of a friendship that he had with you. You, to his relief, smiled. 
“Yes, it is who he is. I feel no guilt in telling you this now. With his condition, I tend to be second in the family. My parents don’t mean to put me on the back burner but it happens. It's hard...so I know now you must feel. How did you figure it out, if you don’t mind me asking. He literally tells no one.” 
Regulus shrugged. 
“Just put the puzzle pieces together.” 
You continued to rub slow circles over Regulus’ palm hoping to relax him further. This was the first time (other than James and Sirius) someone had figured out Remus “furry little problem.” 
“You’re really intelligent and perceptive then. If you want...you know...we could do this every evening when you're free. We don’t have to tell anyone that we are meeting up. Sometimes it's nice just to have someone outside of your friend circles.” 
Regulus looked up and was clearly surprised. 
“You would want to see me again?”
You nodded. 
“If you want to see me that is...no pressure.” 
Regulus quickly nodded, cutting you off. 
“I would love to see you again...maybe around 7 tomorrow?”
You gave his hand a squeeze. 
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 
_________
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This or That Part 7
Harry Potter Marauders Era 
Link to Part 6
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader, Sirius Black x Reader 
Rating: M- sensitive themes 
_____
Slughorn’s party was well into its second hour when Lily realized that she had not seen you. She looked around for any sign of you. When she looked around for Regulus there was nothing there too. Lily turned to Sirius, who actually ended up coming with some Ravenclaw girl.
“Sirius, where is Y/n? I haven’t seen her nor Regulus.”
Sirius looked around and shrugged.
“My guess is she is somewhere underneath my brother.”
Lily rolled her eyes.
“Oh, please. You know that Y/n won’t get undressed in front of Regulus. She thinks her butt is too big and he’s taking things slow.”
Sirius shook his head as the Ravenclaw girl began to get annoyed with him talking to someone else of the female species.
“I’m telling you. Those two are off somewhere doing dirty things. I see how they are looking at each other. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Anyhow, I hope one of them had the presence of mind to use a contraceptive charm. The last thing that we need is a half Regulus half Y/n creature running around here.”
(meanwhile)
You lay halfway across Regulus as he stroked his fingers through your messy hair. The two of you were after round two that lasted a lot longer than round one.
“That was nice.”
You said with a happy yawn. Regulus chuckled.
“Yes, it was. I could definitely get used to this.”
You sat up enough to look down at his handsome face.
“Do you believe in love now?”
“I think that you know the answer to that.”
Regulus replied. You reached down and stroked your hand over his cheek before going for another kiss. Regulus sighed against your lips happily before pulling you up for a deeper kiss.
Everything was going well until your hand stroked down his left arm. Regulus quickly broke away from the kiss and muttered “ ow” under his breath. You looked down and noticed the cuts on his wrists. The realization hit you like a brick! Your mind went back to that day by the lake when you noticed the scars but Regulus ignored your question.
“Regulus…”
He quickly sat up and his wrist in between his stomach and raised knees. Regulus didn’t want you to find out what he did to himself like this. The perfect evening was quickly going to hell! How was he supposed to tell you that he suffered from soul-sucking depression since childhood and this was his only “coping” tool?
“Forget it, Y/n.”
You shook your head and gently pulled his left hand back to you.
“Is this why you wouldn't answer my question that day?”
Regulus didn’t reply. He didn’t want to talk about this. Regulus didn’t want to tell you that his whole fucked up life caused him to be this way? Nothing had ever made him happy before From his parents with their pureblood mania, to his brother who ran away and didn’t care about him anymore, to the many MANY times that he had almost lost you...Regulus had no idea how to deal with the pain that he was going through. You wouldn't get it. No one ever understood. Even though you loved him, why would you be any different? Would you say “get over it” the way that his mother did or would you give him some look of contempt that his father did?
Meanwhile, you reached over to the side of the bed and grabbed your wand to heal the wounds. After a moment, Regulus’ pale skin was flawless again. You stroked your thumb over the scars before meeting his gaze.
“Reggie, you could really hurt yourself.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He snapped. You shook your head before quickly climbing on his lap.
“It matters to me! I love you. How long have you been doing this?”
Regulus shrugged.
“Since I was 10 or 11. It's the only way that I could deal with everything. From Sirius being sorted into Gryffindor and how our parents reacted to all of the other fucked up things that I have had to deal with. Physical pain is a hell of a lot better than mental pain. You wouldn’t understand it all.”
You shook your head. What Regulus didn’t seem to realize was the fact that you would understand a lot more than he seemed to realize.
“Reggie, I understand depression. Think about the things that I have gone through. My brother is a werewolf. I never had a friend until I came here. I have to watch hell that Remus goes through every month and also be the forgotten child in my family. My parents are always worried about Remus, which I understand. I know how bad it can hurt.”
Regulus’ eyes rolled up to your face. He felt bad to admit it but he hadn’t even thought of how things had to be in your home.
“I guess you do. I had been really good about stopping. I’ve tried...I went for a long time but when we split up over Ambrosia...I couldn’t stop myself.”
You reached out and took his wrist back into your hand to press a series of kisses to his skin.
“How about the next time we have problems we talk them out instead of what happened? When you feel like doing this again...find me.”
Regulus smiled and cupped your face.
“You’re a pretty amazing girl, you know?”
He leaned forward and snuggled his nose against yours.
“I try. I don’t want to spend two weeks away from you during Christmas.”
You said, trying to stop the tears that had been threatening to spill. Regulus looked as sad as you did. He too had been thinking about the time that he would have to spend with his parents over Christmas with dread. There was no way that Regulus could tell his parents about you. They would flip the fuck out over you being a half-blood in addition to being a werewolf’s sister. Walburga and Orion Black would never accept you as a potential daughter-in-law. Their son’s happiness wouldn’t matter. Regulus hadn’t told you but he knew his mother was trying to find a proper betrothal for him. It didn’t matter that her son was still young. She wanted to make sure things would be perfect. Regulus knew that if he wanted to be with you, a lot of dominoes would have to tip over. The big one being his parents finding out.
“I know, love. I don’t want to be without you either. You know that I won’t be able to come to the party that your brother and James are throwing.”
You nodded, sadly.
“I know.”
Regulus pulled you into a kiss.
“I’ll try not to cut again, I promise.”
The next day was the day to return home for the Christmas holidays. You sat snuggled at Regulus’ side throughout the journey. Neither of you had said very much. You knew that when you stepped off of the train, you would have to act as if you were no longer Regulus’ girlfriend. He wouldn’t be able to meet your parents but return to his own who had no idea of your existence.
As other kids started moving to get off of the train, Regulus stood and pulled you against him.
“I’ll miss you, love.”
“I’ll miss you.”
You replied quickly pulling him down into a kiss. It wasn’t until Barty Crouch Jr knocked on the door did Regulus pull away from you.
“Reg, we have to go.”
Regulus gave you a sad look before turning and following his friend. Barty turned and gave you a small wave before leaving as well. You waited a few moments before following in the same direction.
Stepping onto the platform, you looked around for Regulus anyway. He stood a few feet away from your own parents talking to his mother and father. You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Walburga and Orion Black. Both of Regulus’ parents were extremely good looking. What struck you, however, is how they appeared almost bored talking to their youngest son.
“Y/n! Sugar, let's go!”
James came out of nowhere and wrapped his arm through yours while Remus grabbed the other to skip to where your parents stood waiting.
Regulus, meanwhile, glanced over his shoulder when he heard James scream your name. He rolled his eyes trying to ignore the feeling of depression quickly kicking in.
“She is going to have a good time and not think of you once.”
The voice in his head said coldly. Regulus tried to swallow it back as your father and mother kissed both Remus and yourself. You were smiling as your father said something cheerful to you.
“Who is that girl?”
Regulus jumped, realizing that his mother had seen what he was looking at. He quickly turned to face Walburga who was looking at you with a hawk-like expression.
“Some girl. She’s friends with Sirius.”
Walburga nodded.
“She’s pretty.”
Regulus shrugged.
“She’s a half-blood and a Gryffindor…”
Walburga rolled her eyes.
“Don’t even think about her Regulus. You don’t need a girl like that to bring you down. She would never fit in with our family.”
Regulus nodded as Walburga focused on something else. Your eyes had flickered to Regulus and offered him a small smile.
“Yes, mother.”
Christmas break turned out to be better than you thought. Your mother and father had outdone themselves decorating for the holidays. Your father had found a new job and decided that it was time to spoil both Remus and yourself senseless.
As good as everything was, you still felt sad. It had been a week and you hadn’t heard a word from Regulus. He had promised to at least write you a letter or two when he was able to have some time alone. You couldn’t help but feel a bit worried with the knowledge that he was probably attending multiple pureblood parties that were full of pretty pureblood girls. What if someone who would appeal to his parents caught Regulus’ eye? Would he forget you to find someone that would appease Walburga and Orion Black’s requirements for a wife?
The night before Christmas eve was the party that Remus and James had put together. The loud music and Dorcas’ happy singing was enough to keep you occupied for the most part. It wasn’t until around 8:00 pm did Sirius come over to you with a grin.
“I have a present for you.”
You frowned. The last time that you checked Sirius and yourself had decided to remain friends. That didn’t mean spoiling each other.
“What?”
You questioned as Sirius wrapped his arm around you.
“I have something that you are really going to like. It kind of got injured in shipping, however.”
You frowned slightly worried about Sirius giving you some kind of broken vase then having to explain to Regulus why you got stitches.
“Sirius, should I be worried?”
Sirius laughed. He was half drunk but reminded you of an over-excited puppy.
“Nah! I wouldn’t hurt you.”
Sirius opened the door to the dining room. You froze the moment that you saw Regulus standing holding his left arm. He gave you a small smile.
“Hi, love.”
“Reggie!”
It took you all of three seconds to recover and run across the room to throw yourself on him. Regulus groaned when you hit his injured arm.
“Oh, Merlin, what happened?”
You questioned, realizing that he was bleeding through his black dress shirt. Regulus winced.
“I told mum and dad about us and it didn’t go well.”
You gently rolled up the sleeve of his dress shirt realizing that the wound was deep and needed attention.
“Sirius, can you go get my dad?”
Sirius nodded and left the room. You quickly returned your attention back to Regulus. He was trying so hard to act like he wasn’t in pain but you could see him wince.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
_______
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