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#smut series
mooshywrites · 1 month
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Echoes of Love and Loss ~ Pt 2
Fem!Reader x Halsin
Masterlist
Art commissions
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A/N - this one’s dedicated to patch six ~ thank you for finally letting me follow my Druid into the wilderness forever <3
Word count - 4.7K
Warnings - MDNI, NSFW, Smut, porn with plot, dom!Halsin, possessiveness, growly unrestrained/rough, fingering, penetrative sex, size kink, breeding kink if you squint really hard, eventual pregnancy, just overall degeneracy
~ Part 1 ~
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“I promise you, when tonight is over, you will have no doubts of who you belong to”
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Halsin’s words bounced around in your head as he stared down at you possessively. Heat began to pool in your lower stomach and yet you felt frozen in place. You wanted nothing more than to pull the Druid into a bruising kiss but his stare had you pinned down, waiting for his movement.
As if his resolve had broken, Halsin growled, leaning down to catch you in a smoldering kiss. His lips molded against yours in a blaze of heat, swallowing your sounds of pleasure.
Your skin felt alight, your every sense tuned in to Halisn’s form caging you. His hand rested against your hip, his other arm supporting his weight next to you. Your hips shifted, subconsciously craving a friction you couldn’t get from a mere kiss. Halsin groaned, his grip on your side tightening.
“Don’t tease me, my heart.” He warned quietly, interrupting any response with another kiss.
You were never much one for following rules.
You strained your hips harder, finally grinding against Halsin’s hardening member. You stopped short as realization hit you.
He was massive.
Your lust addled mind tried to catch up with the thought, an internal war playing out on whether you’d even be able to take a cock that massive. As if sensing your thoughts, Halsin chuckled lowly, his lips kissing a small trail down to your jaw.
“I told you not to tease me.” He murmured, his teeth grazing devilishly light over your skin.
“You’re huge.” You responded absentmindedly, still wondering if even healing magic would be able to save your poor cunt after tonight.
“And you’re mine.” He growled, dipping his hips down against you in a small thrust.
His words sent a jolt of arousal coursing through your entire being, leaving you breathless and burning for more. When he pulled back to see your reaction, you could see that Halsin's eyes were filled with an intensity that left no room for denial, no room for doubting his claim.
You craved him, desired him, needed him in a way that bordered on insanity. A part of you knew that you were falling too fast, that your mind was clouding too quickly to hold on to any semblance of logic, but the other part of you couldn't care less. All that mattered was the primal hunger that consumed you in that moment.
As Halsin dipped down and continued to kiss down your neck, you reached down and grasped his erection through his clothes. You simply needed a confirmation on what you felt before, to gauge whether or not you’d be able to walk in the morning. The thickness and length of it sent shivers down your spine, heightening your need for him even more. You squeezed experimentally, feeling the pulsating weight in your hand.
He let out a low growl, his hips bucking into your hand and lips trailing up to trace your ear lobe. "I warned you, my heart," he rasped. "Not to tease."
You couldn't help but giggle nervously, the deep, husky sound had sent shivers down your spine. "I think I like the consequences, Druid."
With that, you released him, allowing him to resume his seductive descent down your neck. Your hands found their way to his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle rippling beneath your touch. You wanted to pull him closer, to feel his body against yours, but Halsin had other plans.
He pulled back, eyes locked with yours in a fierce stare that left no doubt of his intentions. “Tonight, I'll claim you as my own. I will know you inside and out, and there will be no denying the bond between us.”
You might’ve been taken aback at the statement if it had not made your chest blaze with need. The cool grass under you felt miles away, the heat blazing between the two of you radiating outwards. Halsin’s hands slipped under the hem of your shirt, his gaze softened questioningly.
“May I?” He murmured.
Your heart raced, a whirlwind of emotions inside you. The desire, the need, the raw hunger for this man overwhelmed you. You nodded, barely able to speak.
“Yes.” You whispered.
Halsin's hands brushed against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. He slowly pulled up your shirt, revealing your smooth skin to his curious gaze. Gently, he trailed his fingers along your sides, causing you to shiver again.
“You are mine,” he whispered, more to himself than to you, his voice low and filled with awe. His hands continued to explore, his touch feather-light as he traced the curve of your hips, the arch of your back, the delicate swell of your breasts.
You reached up, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. His lips found yours again, tasting and exploring, promising a deep connection that went beyond the physical. He growled against your lips, pulling your waist tightly against him. The straps and buckles of his clothes brushed against your bare skin, erupting your arms in goosebumps.
Halsin began to kiss a trail down your neck and collarbone, his teeth gently grazing the soft skin of your breast. You fought the urge to tug his hair, to pull the Druid where you wanted him. You stayed a still as you could, watching as his lips neared your nipple.
His breath whispered across the pebbled mound, teasingly pausing any other contact. You knew this was probably some sort of punishment from your own earlier taunting. You arched your back, trying to catch more friction from his mouth, but he only pulled away with a low chuckle, looking back up at you with a smirk.
“Patience, my heart,” he murmured, a glint in his eyes. “I promise you will feel every inch of me soon enough.”
His words sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of anticipation and hesitence. But it was the anticipation that won out, and you let out a shaky sigh, your hands reaching for his shirt.
You felt all too bare before him. At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself, but deep down you knew you just wanted his skin against yours.
With another smirk, he pulled away, undoing the buttons swiftly and tossing the shirt aside. His chest was a sight to behold - tanned, muscled, and terrifyingly handsome. You reached up again, running your fingers along his abdomen, feeling the waves of muscle shift beneath your touch.
“I can't wait any longer,” you whispered, your voice thick with desire.
He looked down at you, a fierce look in his eyes. “My apologies, then.”
Without another word, he leaned forward, catching your nipple between his teeth. His other hand slipped up to palm the other breast, his calloused skin pulling deliciously against the soft swell.
You moaned, arching your back in response to his touch, his teeth and fingers sending shocks of pleasure coursing through your body. You felt his erection pressing against your core, hard and insistent. A part of you wanted to take him inside you right now, to feel his heat and power deep within you. But another part of you craved to savor every moment, to savor every touch and every taste.
You let out a breathy moan and Halsin growled in response, the sound deeply reverberating in his chest. His grip on your hips tightened as he ground his erection against you. You hadn’t noticed his free hand had left your side and began to snake down your stomach, much too preoccupied with how the Druid tasted. It wasn’t until his buckles brushed against your clothed cunt that your mind short circuited.
Your hips bucked against his touch, earning a low chuckle from Halsin. He hooked his other hand through the ties of your pants, undoing them easily. You took in a shaky breath as he pushed them down, the only barrier between his hand and you being the thing material of your underwear.
His eyes flitted back up to meet your own, his pupils blown out with lust. Holding your gaze, he ran his fingertips along your core again, depriving you of desperately needed friction.
“Please,” you whimpered, your voice thick with need.
Halsin smirked, his eyes gleaming with wicked delight. He dipped his head downward, his hair brushing against your skin as he filled your senses with the warm scent of his body. His lips left small chaste kisses against your jaw as his fingers began to move. He traced the folds of your sex with his fingers, sending shivers of anticipation through you.
You were about to plead again when he surprised you with a bold indulgence.
His thumb found your clit with a firm touch, circling it in a slow, deliberate motion over the cloth that left you gasping for air. Your hips bucked instinctively, meeting his touch with a fervor that had been building within you for far too long.
Your mind was quickly fogging over, every sense overwhelmed by the sensation you finally craved. Fingertips continued to tease, exploring every inch of you and driving you wild with lust.
“You’re mine.” He murmured, his voice a low reminder. “Say it.”
“I’m yours.” You breathed, the words shaky but honest. The thought of his heightening possessiveness sent a chill down your spine, your body wanting to submit in every way.
Your fingertips threaded their way back through his hair, tugging softly as his hand moved against you.
“You’re so wet, my heart.” Halsin teased. “So wet for me.”
You whined impatiently, wanting to feel more of him. He relented, pushing your underwear to the side slightly. You inhaled a sharp gasp at the shock of cool air, quickly choking out a moan when Halsin’s rough finger rubbed through your folds.
Halsin groaned appreciatively, gathering your wetness across his fingertips. His touch dragged up and down teasingly slow, never quite adding enough pressure to please your lust.
You squirmed under him, desperately seeking something to fill your heated core. Halsin’s red hot gaze watched you shift, his jaw clenched tightly as if he was trying to hold himself back. Like he wanted to watch you come undone before he took any pleasure of his own.
“Halsin, please.” You begged again.
“Please what, my heart?” He cooed, his hand beginning to rub figure eights around where you needed him most.
“You know what.” You whined impatiently, your chest rising and falling in heavy breaths.
“Say it.” He demanded, his voice low and tinged with the ever growing possessiveness.
“Put it inside.” You whimpered, a blush rising in your cheeks at the crassness of your request.
“Put what inside, my heart?” He taunted, his breath tickling the shell of your ear. “My finger? My tongue? My cock?”
You couldn’t’t help but moan, the thought of any of the three rendering you mute.
Halsin chuckled, finally giving you some semblance of relief as his middle finger delved between your folds.
He slid it in, slow and deep, stretching you with a firmness had you shaking. Your hips bucked involuntarily as it filled you, the sensation of his finger pressing against where you desired him most bringing forth an immediate and intense pleasure.
He curled his finger inside you, seeking for the exact spot that would have you crying out his name. The pressure and friction was unlike anything you had ever felt before, and you screamed as waves of pleasure washed over you.
His lips brushed against your sensitive skin, his teeth grazed your neck, and you could feel your body trembling. Even with the smallest of touches, you felt close to your breaking point. A heated wire already coiling in your lower stomach.
The finger that filled you began to move, pushing in and out with a rhythm that felt almost like a dance. Your breaths quickened, your moans turning into gasping cries as he continued to delve deep inside.
Halsin watched your reactions with parted lips, looking at you like you were the most intoxicating thing you had ever seen.
“Oak Father, preserve me, you’re so tight.” He whispered lowly. “Going to have to loosen you if I’m to fit within these walls.”
Your body convulsed under his touch, writhing in the pleasure that consumed you. You couldn't stop yourself from coming, your climax building in intensity until at last you cried out for him. Your body shook violently, every muscle locked tight as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over you.
“Oh, Gods,” you gasped, your eyes fluttering closed as you felt yourself come undone.
Halsin watched you intensely, his eyes burning with both desire and possessiveness. He couldn't help but chuckle a little at your state, knowing full well how utterly unprepared your body was for the next step.
As the aftershocks of your orgasm faded, he withdrew his finger from you, savoring the sound of your ragged breathing.
”That was just the beginning, my heart,” he murmured, already shifting his movements down.
He kissed down your chest as you tried to regain control of your breathing, nipping at the swell of your breast along the way. You couldn’t begin to put two thoughts together, let alone recognize his intentions as he settled his shoulders between your legs.
When you were finally able to regain a conscious thought, you glanced down at where the Druid was now laying. You felt your cheeks grow hot as you saw the way he was looking at your glistening core. Like it was the sweetest thing he had ever seen and that he needed to devour it.
You clenched your thighs together, self conscious of how bare you were before him. He only growled, wrapping his hands around your legs to pull them back apart.
“Do not hide from me. You are mine, my heart. Every inch of you.” He growled.
“It’s too soon, I can’t-“ You started, your sentence quickly ripped away from you as Halsin connected his lips with your swollen clit.
You yelped out a moan, your hips jerking as much as they could under Halsin’s firm grip.
The sensation was unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. It was intense, shockingly intimate, and undeniably pleasurable. Your whole body seemed to be on fire, overwhelmed by the orgasm you had moments ago and still fighting to feel more.
Halsin's mouth was everywhere, his lips dancing over your most sensitive spots, coaxing every ounce of pleasure from you. His tongue alternated between rubbing circles across the nub of nerves and dipping ever so slightly in your clenching core. You felt the beginnings of another orgasm building, your body trembling and your breaths growing ragged as he continued his assault on your cunt.
You tried to stifle your cries with your free hand, but Halsin simply smirked and captured your wrist, holding it upright. He desired to hear your pleas and gasps, desired the sound of your submission. He wanted anyone in a ten mile radius to hear how much you belonged to him.
Your mind was already spinning with desire and need, but Halsin's possessive words only served to fuel the fire within you.
“Come again for me,” He growled against you while still devouring your dripping core. “Come on my tongue.”
Your climax was a storm within you, building to a crescendo and then crashing down with a violence that shook your entire body. You screamed out his name, your voice a ragged, pleading cry. Halsin's grip on your legs tightened, and your hips bucked wildly against his mouth as your pleasure reached its peak.
As your climax subsided, you collapsed back onto the grass, your body limp and utterly spent. You rested your hand upon Halsin's hair, feeling its softness beneath your fingers as your breaths slowly evened out.
Halsin kissed your inner thighs, softly biting at the tender skin, causing you to let out a breathy sigh. He looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire and satisfaction.
“See how your body still craves me, my heart?” He murmured, gripping your thighs possessively. “How it knows who it belongs to.”
He released your thighs, and you watched as he crawled back up your body, his eyes never leaving yours. The possessive heat within them sent shivers down your spine.
“I take,” he murmured, his lips brushing against the hollow of your throat, “great pleasure in claiming you.”
Your heart pounded in your chest, the words causing an inferno of desire to ignite within you anew. You felt as if your body couldn’t take any more pleasure, and yet his breath against your skin had your mind completely and utterly clouded with lust.
“Halsin.” You whined, your voice barely above a whisper, “It’s all too much. I don’t think I can take any more.” You reached out, tracing the lines of his face with your fingers, watching his eyes darken as you did.
"I think you can," he replied, his tone deep and sultry. "Your cunt still grinds against me even now."
You shuddered at his words, feeling how your body responded to the truth in what he said. Halsin's lips found yours once more, his kiss slow and deliberate. His hands roamed over your body, caressing every inch of your skin, as if he was mapping out every detail.
“As much as I want to spend the night seeing how much you can really take.” He whispered in a low growl, “I need to be inside you more.”
His words sent a fresh wave of heat through you, leaving you breathless. He pulled away for a moment, undoing the ties to his own pants and pushing them down.
You fought the urge to drop your jaw when you finally saw his impressive member, standing proudly against his stomach. The veins bulged along its length, pulsing with need. The tip was swollen and glistening with pre-cum, promising pleasure and very probably a bit of pain beyond your wildest dreams.
Your heart raced and your breath caught in your throat as you imagined the sounds he would make when you finally took him. The anticipation was almost too much to bear.
“Are you ready for me, my heart?” Halsin asked, his eyes searching for any sign of doubt or hesitation.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, trying to gather your emotions. Your heart was racing, and you were so incredibly nervous. Could you really take him?
You needed him desperately.
You nodded, pulling him in for a gentle and meaningful kiss.
“Fill me with your seed and make me yours.” You whispered, wondering if you could use his possessiveness to make him as desperate as you felt.
A growl ripped through his throat as soon as he heard the words, his hips notching against your own quickly.
“With pleasure.” He groaned, lining his thick length up with your entrance. You could feel the head of his cock pressing against your sensitive opening, anticipation and arousal burning through your veins.
As he pushed gently, you felt the edges of your lips stretching and resisting, but then suddenly, you were filled, your body accommodating him with astonishing speed.
A wave of pleasure washed over you, aided with a slight burn from his sheer size, intense and all-consuming. You gasped out loud at the sensation, your head spinning. He was inside you, flush to the hilt, and it was unlike anything you'd ever experienced.
Hasin's eyes gleamed triumphantly as you adjusted to the stretch, relishing in the way your body clenched around him. You could feel his erection throbbing inside you, and it made you moan in pure, unadulterated pleasure.
“Oak Father, preserve me. You feel so good, my heart," he rasped, his face scrunched in a way that almost seemed like he was in pain.
You could see the struggle in his expression, but also the sheer lust in his eyes. This was what he wanted, and now he had it.
“You're so tight,” he groaned, sliding in and out of you slowly at first, letting you adjust to his size.
Your inner walls gripped him, trying to pull him closer, as if your body understood how perfect the two of you were together. You felt truly complete, wrapped around him.
“I can't believe how good you feel,” he panted, his voice raw with desire.
You threw your head back, arching your hips to meet his thrusts. You could feel the sweat dripping down your naked body, mingling with the moisture between your legs. You didn't care about the mess, all that mattered was the pleasure coursing through your veins.
“Harder,” you whimpered, knowing you could take more. He groaned, his hips slapped against your thighs, driving into you with a fervor that left you breathless. You felt like you were on fire, the pleasure a raging inferno that threatened to consume you whole.
You could barely form coherent thoughts, but your body was responding to every thrust, every touch, every switch of his hips. You were at his mercy, at his whim, and you loved it.
Halsin's eyes were dark with lust, his features contorted with the effort it took to control himself. It was a sight to behold, and it made your heart race with even more desire.
“You like this, don't you?” he growled, his voice a smoky whisper in your ear. “You like being taken like this?”
“Yes,” you gasped, clawing at his back, lost in the sensation of his thrusts. “Yes please, Halsin!”
With the whine in your moans, he seemed to draw more power from your need, his hips pistoning harder and faster within you. He grunted with effort, sweat pouring from his brow as he drove into you, his mouth finding your breast, suckling a purple mark fiercely from the sensitive flesh.
You could feel your climax approaching, a wave of pleasure building within you like a storm, threatening to drown you in its intensity. You wrapped your legs tighter around Halsin's waist, digging your nails into his back, urging him on, begging for more.
Your body clenched around him, muscles tightening and releasing in a rhythm that matched the pounding of your heart. You cried out in pleasure, your voice hoarse with need as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over you. Halsin roared, his own climax building within him, finally releasing with a fierce cry as he buried himself deep within you.
You collapsed beneath him, your breath coming in ragged pants. Your body trembled as the aftershocks of your intense orgasm still coursed through you. Halsin's weight pressed into you, his face buried in your neck, his breath coming in short, harsh gasps.
His cock twitched inside you, still pulsing with life, and you felt a new wave of warmth seep into you, his seed filling you completely.
You lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, hearts pounding in sync, bodies still shuddering with the remnants of the powerful orgasm that had just taken you both to new heights. Your minds were filled with a haze of pleasure and love, your bodies still connected, as if Halsin's seed had somehow melded you together.
As your breathing slowly returned to normal, you turned your head to look into Halsin's eyes. They were dark with the remnants of desire, but also filled with a love that made your heart ache. You could see the raw vulnerability in his gaze, a side of him that you had never seen before. It made you love him even more.
“You're mine now,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.
You smiled, running your fingers through his hair as you looked into his eyes. “I'm yours.”
Halsin leaned down, his lips finding yours in a tenderness that was just as passionate as the desire that had consumed you both. You felt his seed begin to seep out of you, a silent reminder of the bond that you now shared.
As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that this night would be etched in your memories for the rest of your life
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The next morning was a blur of events. Waking up in Halsin’s arms, the Druid snoring softly beside you. Your companion’s expressions when you and your Druid made the walk of shame back to Last Light Inn. Shadowheart’s relentless questions about what all had happened between the two of you.
Apparently, everyone had been either too drunk or too tired to hear what you had gotten up to during the night. You were happy to know no one had heard your cries of pleasure, but you smiled at the thought that Halsin had probably wanted the opposite.
Both you and Halsin played coy to all of the questioning, you ,in particularly, were not quite ready to admit how hard you had fallen for the man. Or rather, not quite ready to face all of the teasing you would probably get from a select group of people in your party.
You knew the extent of your relationship with Halsin would probably have to be a deeper discussion, one that would need to wait for when the world was a little safer. For now, his confession the night before was enough.
So, you just brushed off any comments, helping pack up everything so you could resume on your path to Baldur’s Gate.
Wyll assured everyone that the road to Wyrm’s crossing wouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks, but that ended up being a massive stretch. There were still monsters to fight along the way and a slowed journey halfway through when Gale got hit with a particularly nasty injury.
You quite enjoyed the road taking a bit longer though, you were growing closer with Halsin and you felt like a lovesick teenager again. You felt shy whenever you were around him, just a smile could have you turn into a blushing mess. Every once in a while, you would have a glimpse of reminder of the night you two shared, and you’d have to choke back a reaction.
The changes in your demeanor weren’t lost on your companions, however. Shadowheart especially. She seemed to be the most perceptive when it came to the shift in your mood. Or perhaps she was just the one bold enough to ask you about it.
Constantly.
Every day.
Your only theory was that she could read your mind due to the tadpole, there was no other explanation for how she seemed to know exactly what you were thinking about. Every time you grinned to yourself, you’d be met by a quizzical raised eyebrow from the woman.
It was hard to pay too much attention to, though. There was something else at the forefront of your mind. It had been almost four weeks since you had departed Last Light Inn, and you realized you were beginning to feel exhausted from the journey. It was like you had completely spent all of your energy before it was even lunch.
You were worried you might have caught something, a sickness that would render you useless in a fight. the symptoms didn’t seem to be getting that much worse, but they were a constant source of struggle.
Shadowheart, of course, noticed the difference in your mood immediately. It took a few days of you avoiding the subject before she finally cornered one morning in camp to ‘check’ on you.
“What’s wrong with you?” She asked plainly.
You snorted out a laugh at her bluntness, brushing her off easily. “I’m just tired. Maybe saving the world is starting to catch up with me.”
“You’re lying.” She accused, her eyes narrowing.
“I’m not!” You protested, taking a step back from her interrogation stance. “I think it’s just a cold. I’ve had an upset stomach as well, so perhaps Gale’s cooking finally did me in.”
“Let me at least try to heal you then.” She offered, resting a gentle hand against your arm. “You can’t go on ‘saving the world’ if you aren’t feeling well, can you?”
“I suppose not.” You sighed, sitting in the opening of your tent.
You patted the ground next to you, offering her a place on the cloth alongside you. Shadowheart sunk to the ground gracefully before taking your hand in her own.
“I don’t know how well I can mend a cold, but I can at least try.” She murmured, shutting her eyes in concentration.
A soft green light began to glow at her fingertips, warming your skin where she held you. Your stomach began to stir uncomfortably and you could only imagine it was the healing magic taking care of whatever had ailed you. You felt an itch at the corner of your mind, something that wasn’t unusual after the Tadpole had infected your brain. Absentmindedly, you wondered if it was Shadowheart prodding your mind for answers you hadn’t given. You looked over at her, wondering if you could tell by her expression that she was meddling through your thoughts.
Shadowheart's face was twisted in a mix of emotions before her spell abruptly ended.
“Did it work?” You asked slowly, feeling the tension in the air.
She didn't answer, instead placing her hand on your stomach with a sudden urgency.
“What are you doing?” You protested, but she covered your mouth with her hand.
As she looked up at you, fear and uncertainty flashed in her eyes.
“Tav...”
“I think you might be pregnant."
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Part 3
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minhosimthings · 3 months
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The Symphony Smut Series
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A series of oneshots based on lyrics from my playlists and their songs
Day 1: Lana del Rey's Gods and Monsters;
In the land of gods and monsters I was an angel, looking to get fucked hard - Lee 'Know' Minho (Skz)
Day 2:Lana del rey's Brooklyn Baby
My boyfriends' in a band, he plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed - Heeseung and Jay (Enha)
Day 3: Doja Cat and Starbo3's D!ck
She came in like an addict - Kim Sunoo (Enha)
Day 4: Cat Peirce's You belong to me
Do what you please to me, I won't resist - Jake (Enha)
Day 5: Lancey Foxx's Lancey or Lancey
Took her to Paris, she took her panties off- Felix (Skz)
Day 6: Lana del Rey's Peppers
We write hit songs without trying like, all the time, all the time - Han Jisung (Skz)
Day 7: Julia Michaels' Heaven
they say all good boys go to heaven, but bad boys bring heaven to you - I.N/ Yang Jeongin (Skz)
Day 8: Lana del Rey's Cherry
My cherries and wine and all of my peaches are ruined - Heeseung (Enha)
Day 9: Flo Milli's Rodeo Ride
He love how I ride it, hop on a dick made him get excited - Changbin (Skz)
Day 10: Skz's Red Lights
I cannot breathe without you being right by my side - Seungmin (Skz)
Day 11:Charlie Puth's Dangerously
I love you dangerously - Sunghoon (Enha)
Day 12: Staind "Right Here"
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting. - Hyunjin (Skz)
Day 13: Amaarae's Angels in Tibet
Louvre and Armani I like how you say it - Jay (Enha)
Day 14: Doja Cat's Agora Hills
Suck a little dick in the bathroom - Chan (Skz)
Day 15: Doja Cat's Agora Hills
Kissin I hope they caught us - Sunghoon (Enha)
Day 16: Todrick hall's Both
I can make you moist or i can make you fire - Minho and Chan (Skz)
Day 17: The Neighborhood's You get me so high
We should stick together, you're my best friend I love you forever - Jake (Enha)
Day 18: Amaarae's Angels in Tibet
Touch me where you need to, I can give you more - Minho (Skz)
Taglist: @ramenoil @mynameisniya150 @demigodmahash + whoever wants to be tagged, send an ask my way!
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kerokerokook · 4 months
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the rebound girl: chapter three
pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader
word count: 20.7k
a/n: so sorry for not updating for like almost two months atp. had some personal stuff and with genocide that is happening in gaza, i personally felt like it wasn't appropriate for me to post. please continue to support in any way you can whether that's with uplifting voices, going to protests, boycotting and donating. the smallest action can make a difference.
just a heads up, i won't keep a update schedule which i apologize for but i will do my best to be consistent :)
also i write this authors note, the golden concert finished and we got the enlistment notice for vminkookjoon. it's fine everything is fine they sooner they leave the sooner they come back hahaha :( (i'm crying as we speak)
warnings for this chapter: kissing, lots of ass grabbing, oc is down baaaaad, and so is jk tbh, oral (fem and male receiving), two orgasms for you, 69 position, some very light spanking and praise. jk drinks it like water. some slight dom/sub undertones (jk is a switch but not in this chapter :o)
other tags: a good chunk of angst, slut shaming, spreading of fake rumors, finally oc backstory on the nickname!!, mentions of marijuana, jeongguk asks the girls how to eat cat 8-) and he is once again green flag obvi
fic masterlist
song for chapter: seven by jungkook ft. latto and slut! by taylor swift
enjoy!
-mal <3
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You wake up surrounded by warmth. The streams of sunlight coming in from your window thanks to your slightly parted curtains bathe your skin in gold, along with the thick duvet thrown over your body, and the thick arms wrapped around your waist. 
For a second, you forget everything that happened last night. 
The way you were panicking and how it escalated to kissing, touching, marking; how your lips wrapped around his thick and long length and how Jeongguk’s fingers pushed you past the edge. You can’t believe it. That one of your childhood best friends is lying in bed next to you right now.  A man who made you feel so good that you want another taste. 
You cringe at your thoughts. You’re really starting to sound like Mrs. Robinson right now. 
Turning your body in his grasp, you face Jeongguk who has been hugging you from behind. His cheek is pressed into the soft pillow, puffed up a bit so his lips look extra pouty. His eyes are peacefully shut, body raising with his breath, and his shirt is all ruffled from him moving around so his collarbones are slightly exposed. You can see the marks you left on him, vibrant and pretty against his honey colored skin. 
Without thinking, your hand picks up to gently glide over the surface. The skin feels the same but internally, you feel waves of smug, almost masculine, pride at the sight of them. As if you’ve branded the guy to be yours. 
Your cup his right cheek, smoothing underneath his eye with your thumb. There’s a little tug with the thin skin, slightly sagging with a lack of sleep, but he looks so beautiful and peaceful like this. Jeongguk has amazing eyebrows; full, dark and perfectly shaped. You run your thumb over thick short hairs before pushing some of the hair messily strewn over his forehead out of the way. Strands silky and smelling of his shampoo.  
As another finger goes to trace his earrings like the pieces of a wind chime, Jeongguk stirs. A soft whine barely leaves him before he’s tugging you closer so that your head is tucked into the crook of his neck. 
His arms wind around you tightly, squeezing you just a bit and forcing a laugh out of you. 
“Hey,” you call, feeling like a boa constrictor has coiled itself around you. 
Jeongguk murmurs under his breath. “Five more minutes.” 
“But I can’t breathe.”
“Figure it out.” 
“Jeongguk,” you giggled, playing with a lock of dark hair that was all fluffy without a brush, tugging slightly to get him further out of sleep.  “Cmon, you’re already half awake.” 
There’s a fullness in your bladder. You need to pee and fix your hair and brush your teeth and make yourself look presentable before Jeongguk can actually take a good look at you. And breakfast too. You’re hungry. 
“Which means I’m also half asleep.” 
“Hmm but you’re responding in full sentences.” 
“Ugh,” he rolls over and away from you, something you instantly regret. “Okay, fine. I’m awake.”
His hair is a birds nest on top of his head, sticking up all over the place, but a thought crosses your mind of Jeongguk with a perm. A perm and longer hair, framing his face in a shaggy 90s style, and your insides turn to mush. 
Anything would probably suit him with a face like that. 
And his body is absolute perfection. You get the urge to reach under the covers, under the fabric of his shirt and feel his stomach once more. Like you’re confirming the presence of steel cut abs and wide shoulders and squishable pecs. 
“Sleep okay?” You ask him, turning on your side to watch his chest expand and recede with his breathing. 
Jeongguk nods, rubbing one of his eyes. “Like a baby. You?” His head turns to face you and he’s got this dreamy, half-awake, smile on his lips that makes you melt. 
“Same.”
You want to kiss his cheek and snuggle into the warmth of his chest. Jeongguk was so comfortable to sleep next to you and his body, while taut, is huggable like a giant teddy bear. He didn’t mind you clinging to him at first, slowly turning away when it got too hot or you wanted to change positions. It was honestly some of the best sleep you’ve gotten. 
Carefully peeling the covers off, you stretch your arms up to crack all of the tightened areas. 
“I’ll put out a disposable toothbrush for you and,” you turn around to find Jeongguk slowly sitting up, looking cute with your patterned sheets underneath him, “then we can talk about breakfast. Are you a savory or sweet kind of guy?”
Jeongguk’s eyes flutter upwards in thought, lips quirking to one side. “Hmmm, I usually have savory but I’ll try sweet.”
“Awesome. Waffles?”
“Hell yeah.” 
The rest of your morning is pretty simple after that. Almost as if Jeongguk never slept over. You do your regular routine and leave the bathroom to him. You feed Snowball and give her as much attention and love as she desires. She’s chirpy in the morning and the minute Jeongguk emerges from the bathroom, you’re forgotten news. 
She trots over to him, fluffy tail bouncing, and flops onto her side as Jeongguk pets her side and scratches her cheeks and under her neck. 
You can’t help but stare at the scene with a warm gooey smile on your face. Jeongguk has always loved animals and seeing him interact with them is such a soft, sweet, beautiful moment. 
Going back to the kitchen cabinets, you pull out your waffle maker and make a few with the batch you’ve prepared. Some with chocolate chips sprinkled inside. Knowing Jeongguk, you put out some chopped fruit, bacon, and make some fluffy eggs. You want him to be full and happy when he leaves. 
Plus, you like doing stuff like this; cooking for people and making them happy.  It’s fun. 
Jeongguk strolls into the room, humming a song under his breath and pausing when he sees the spread you’ve put out for the two of you. Looking like a continental buffet at a hotel. Your head turns and you smile as he stares down at the steaming plates. 
“Wait…I should’ve helped you. I’m sorry,” he pouts, twisting his fingers at the base of his stomach. 
The stove is turned off when you walk closer to him. Droplets of water cascade down his neck and you can see the bright wine colored hickeys you left on him last night on his honey skin. The sight is delectable. You want to mark him again, mark him even more, but also don’t want to get too hasty with how much you touch him. It was a one-off after all. 
You wave it off. “Let me do this for you,” chiding, you push him to take his plate over to the coffee table/desk thing you’ve got then grab yours. “Now let’s. Do you want coffee later?” 
He shakes his head, hair swishing with his movements. “Trying to cut back on that. It’s worsening my anxiety.” 
You pause. “I didn’t know you had anxiety.” The air sizzles in silence, the only noise cutting through being the sound of your plate hitting the surface of your table. Snowball chomps on the pellets of her food. Your backs collide with the edge of your bed, shoulders brushing, knees inches apart with your legs crossed over each other, and all you can smell is Jeongguk. 
His cheeks get pinker, pursing his lips while starting on his food. “Yeah. I was diagnosed in high school. Working out helped a lot with it and same with gaming and sketching but the more I drink coffee, the more anxious I get.” 
“Oh… I’m sorry.” You wilt next to him. 
You know how bad it can get. You’ve seen your friends struggle with it, having attacks before a large test or getting fidgety in public spaces. It’s terrible. 
“S’ok. I’m doing a lot better than before.” You watch out of the corner of your eye as Jeongguk eats. He’s nonchalant about it which calms you. “Taehyung tried to get me into smoking weed with him but I feel like that would worsen it.” 
Snickering, you start eating too. The image of a relaxed Taehyung and a paranoid Jeongguk, when it’s usually the complete opposite, is sort of hilarious. 
“Yeah,” you laugh. “Weed is either amazing for people with anxiety or it will literally give you a panic attack. Especially if you smoke too much.” Thinking back to your first year of college, when you decided to go crazy by smoking a joint and from a pipe and then from a bong, while in the middle of a forest on a camping trip. 
Safe to say, you thought someone was going to come out of the bushes and beat your ass for smoking underage. Jeongyeon had to take you back to the dorms and help you calm down. It was bad. 
But it was a learning lesson and you know to pace yourself with weed now. Unlike your friends, you don’t do it as often. It’s great when you’re plastered though or if you want to really enjoy a meal. 
Jeongguk laughs with you. Then his eyes focus on something and you stop halfway when bringing the fork of food to your mouth. Raising an eyebrow in question, he just reaches over to tuck your hair out of face and behind your ear. 
“You can say no but,” he exhales, fixating on the way your lips pout just a bit as you chew, “I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?” 
Then your stomach flips. 
He’s such a good guy, you think. You aren’t used to being around good guys. 
Probably because deep down you think you’ll ruin them or you don’t deserve them but hey, you’re no therapist. 
Jeongguk is too good. He’s too sweet and you just know that whatever brew of emotions that is bubbling up in you screams trouble but you simply can’t hold yourself back. Not when he looks this cute and soft and pretty in your room, asking politely to do your hair for you, eating the food you made him after a night of passion. 
Swallowing whatever was in your mouth, you drop your fork on the plate and get up on your knees. Jeongguk’s reaction is comical. His eyes widen like he’s going to get yelled at, hands jumping to his sides but that is far from the truth. 
Instead, you settle on his lap, wrists crossed behind his neck to toy with the back of his soft hair. 
“Wh–did I–” he doesn’t even get to finish. You kiss Jeongguk briefly on the nose. 
His eyes blink largely at you, bouncing down to your lips in a silent plea, and who are you to say no to someone like Jeongguk who asked so kindly? Leaning back down, gently connecting your lips with his in a soft slow kiss. He meets your movements, smooth lips kissing you back wetly while his hands move to your hips. 
You don’t mean to get lost in the kiss but it’s quite hard. Jeongguk is really good at kissing and his body's so warm against yours. Pressing closer, you try to lick into his mouth to deepen the kiss but Jeongguk’s hands slip down and grip your ass harshly. 
Gasping, you pull away. An unexpected action from him since he was so careful and gentle with you last night but you liked it. 
The sheer thought of him getting rougher with you has you wet. 
You decide to finally answer his question. “You can do whatever you want with me.”
“Whatever I want?” He teases back. 
“Mhmm.”
Jeongguk pushes some hair out of your eyes. “Giving me all of that power is a bit dangerous, you know?” And even though he’s joking and you know that, you take it literally, wanting him to know this before he leaves. 
Because it’s the wholehearted truth. 
“I trust you, though. I trust you a lot.” 
Jeongguk isn’t going to treat you like most of the men in your life. He won’t discard you for someone better, stringing you along with kind words just to get you to do what they want, and leave you broken hearted. He simply isn’t that kind of guy. He’s sweet and patient and attentive. The kind of guy you should be going after. 
Sadly it’s taken you this long to realize it and this much hurt for you to change but it’s a start. 
His eyes glimmer at you from your spot. You almost don’t want to get up because of how breathtaking his eyes look reflecting the stars hidden by the light. 
“I know you won’t hurt me,” you continue, enamored. “So do what you want and if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you, okay?” Cupping his round, soft cheeks in your hands, you wait for nod. A slow, sure, steady one to cement this declaration right then and there. 
Just as you lean down for another searing kiss, your phone starts blaring from your bed. The alarm you forgot to switch off. Fuck. 
With a groan, you press the off button and your normal phone lock screen shows a notification from your mother. Still on Jeongguk’s lap, you press on it to read her text. 
mom 
stopping by in thirty
wanted to drop off some kimchi before i go back home
Fuck, you forgot. Your mom had an offsite trip for work in Incheon and before going back to your apartment, she wanted to give you some food for the weekend since your apartment was in between. 
There’s no way she’ll let it slide that Jeongguk slept the night and your mom is no idiot. With all of the hickeys on his neck and the awkward we-wanna-fuck tension that is ever building between you two after last night’s taste, you’ll be getting grilled till you’re on your deathbed.  
Quickly, you send her a thumbs up and toss your phone onto your bed, then look down at Jeongguk’s confused, cute face. “My mom is coming over in thirty minutes. Do you think we can finish by then?”
“F-finish what?” 
You’re confused for a whole second until you remember you’re on his lap and you were just making out with him. A soft giggle leaves your lips before you press another kiss to his nose and a quick kiss to his pouty lips. 
“Finish eating.” Finger trailing along the soft cut of Jeongguk’s jawline, flicking the hanging hoops in his ears. “Sorry baby, we’ll have to reschedule the other thing.” 
The pet name flies out once more but you’re less upset about it. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, his reddened ears tell you quite the opposite. 
You try to get up once more but Jeongguk’s arms wind tightly around you. With a soft thud, your ass hits his lap again. He isn’t hard and his sweatpants are thicker than you remember it to be so you don’t feel anything. But the action still surprises you. 
“You can still stay here and eat with me.” He demands petulantly. Big eyes, the roundest nose, cutest cheeks, and all of those moles scattered across his face like stars in the sky. 
And how can you say no? 
Breakfast is finished with you perched on his lap delicately, back against Jeongguk’s chest, while watching some random children’s cartoons that happened to be playing this early. It’s comfortable, almost intimate to be eating this close to each other and not have it be sexual. You had fully expected things to get raunchy today, especially when you were kissing, and usually when you stay over with a hookup, morning sex is promised. 
Considering the extraneous variables, that can’t happen today, so you imagined Jeongguk would drop the closeness and go back to being platonic to you. Having him do the opposite is surprising. 
You really like it. 
Jeongguk’s chest is warm, broad, firm with muscle, and he smells like a mixture of his own scent and your skincare products. His arms fit snugly around you, like you can melt into his touch without another thought. You love the way he feels. So much so that tearing apart to let him leave is borderline painful. 
Snowball has it especially rough. She rubs her head against Jeongguk’s calf, purring and trilling fyr him to stay and pet her when he’s posted by the door. 
“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry,” Jeongguk coos, tugging at her cheeks and smoothing over the area. 
You want to cry at the visual. 
The walk down is silent. Your keys jingle in your hands, shoes tapping on the linoleum floor, and Jeongguk doesn’t say much until the elevator takes the two of you to the lobby and outside your apartment building. It’s a slightly overcast day out. The sun peeks through the clouds and happens to land right on Jeongguk, illuminating him like an angel. 
“So uh… I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”
You nod slowly. “See you.”
Fuck it, you think, stepping off the platform leading into the lobby and wrapping Jeongguk in a quick hug. Arms around his neck, hugging him close to your body and giving him a firm squeeze. 
Jeongguk returns it quickly, like a reflex. It’s soft, warm, and just what you needed before letting him go. 
Just before your arms slip, you kiss the mole on his neck once, and slowly push off. You really don’t want to. You feel so safe whenever he touches you and smiles at you but you really don’t have any other choice. 
“Bye noona.”
“Bye.” 
Jeongguk’s departure is quick, waving bye as he crosses the street to get to the subway station further down the block. But you still feel the lingering ghost of his lips and touch on your skin. Almost like you’re savoring it for one more second. 
And you’re so caught up that you don’t even notice the camera aimed at you that’s been snapping pictures for the past ten minutes. 
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The day had been weird the moment your foot stepped onto campus. 
Being the esteemed rebound girl meant that people looked at you. Mostly men but you still got glances, sexual ones or judgy ones or interested ones. Not that you’re bragging, you never warranted them in the first place as they always come with negative intentions, but the glances you were getting today felt different. People were whispering, more than usual, and it was starting to bother you.
The first thing you did was check to see if you were wearing pants. Which you were so we can count accidental nudity off the list. 
 Then you rushed to the bathroom to check if you accidentally sat on a chocolate bar or bled through your jeans or your bra is showing through your shirt or there’s a line of toilet paper stuck to your shoe. 
It has to be a physical issue. Otherwise people would be reacting like this, right?
But you didn’t find anything on you. Not even a smudge of mascara. 
 It’s weird because you’re dressed rather simply. A black hoodie with some light wash jeans since you were in the middle of your period and didn’t want to deal with putting in effort today. What the fuck is everyone’s problem then? 
Looking down, you walk as fast as you can from class to class, barely talking to anyone besides your  friends and only if absolutely necessary. In between classes you have your earbuds in and you avoid any eye contact. Even during discussions, you sit in the back and draw in the margins, not even bothering to listen and contemplating leaving early. A group of girls that you recognize to be from Juri’s group are being especially nasty, giggling whenever you look in their general vicinity. 
This is starting to get really annoying. 
With a half a mind to ask them what’s so fucking funny, discussion ends early and you have a lunch date with the rest of your friends so you bolt out of there, slamming your lunch tray down on the table with much confusion from your two friends. You explain it to them while eating in hopes that they can crack the code too. 
“Maybe they think you’re pretty,” Nayeon tries. 
“I didn’t even put foundation on. I highly doubt they think I’m pretty,” you mumble the last bit, crossing your arms over the table and resting your forehead on them. “They’re laughing at me.”
Like a fly buzzing by your ear, their giggles irritate you beyond comprehension.  
Embarrassing. That’s the best way to describe the surface of how you feel. Embarrassed and paranoid and scared because of how everyone seems to be in on a joke except for you. 
For a second, you go back to the insecure teenager in high school who just wanted someone around. Who wanted love and affection and popularity because who fucking doesn’t at that age?  Only for all of those popular cool kids to be making fun of you, laughing at your expense, and reminding you of everything you were insecure about. This feels just like that. 
“Do you think Wooshik did something?”
You look up, scanning the cafeteria for a mop of black hair and he’s chilling with his new girl who he’s been absolutely obsessed with judging by his expression. He looks like he’s having the time of his life ever since you two ended your little spat.
Wooshik is petty but only when he’s been slighted. If he’s happy then he’s pretty harmless. So there’s no way it’s him. 
“Nah. There has to be something else.” You start picking at the skin on the side of your thumb, where it’s gotten a bit dry thanks to the change in weather. 
The cafeteria is loud today, more people opting to stay inside rather than walk around for a restaurant to eat at since it’s bound to start raining any time soon. It feels like millions of people crowd in every pocket of space available yet your brain fixates on the eyes trained on you. Like they are all pointing, laughing, guffawing at whatever joke they are making at your expense. You start to sweat, feeling cornered in your spot. 
You should be used to this being the college’s rebound girl but everyone’s disdain for you has never been so apparent. People stuck to their occasional disapproving looks and maybe, there was a low comment when news of you hooking up with another person circled the campus but it’s never been this bad before. 
All of the worst possible outcomes form inside your head. Did someone sneak into your house and take nude photos of you? Maybe someone from your high school came and told some bullshit story? 
What else could the reason be?
“Hey guys.” Jeongguk smiles, setting down a cup of instant noodles and pulling you out of your spiral. “Taehyung and Jimin are in the bathroom but they’ll be here soon.” Gently, he plops next to you and the scent of him is enough to calm you down. 
Familiar, sweet and soft as always. 
And he looks great in a navy blue Nike hoodie and black jeans, oversized as always, but you’re one of the few people that knows what he looks like underneath all of those clothes. 
So much honey toned skin; a chiseled stomach and chest; defined arms and legs; gorgeous, truly gorgeous. 
Jeongyeon furrows her eyebrows at him. “Why aren’t you eating the cafeteria food?” She asks with concern. 
“Ah, I'm not super hungry. I had a big breakfast,” Jeongguk waves off, showing the ⅔ full cup of ramen he had. “I’m probably gonna go home early too since I have a League of Legends match with my team soon.” 
You nod in response, half-listening. Jeongguk had explained his gaming league thing to you a few days ago. He used to be on a team for fun but he’s currently trying to join a semi-professional one for fun since he isn’t in any clubs or organizations on campus. Not that Jeongguk is particularly interested in those but, these gaming leagues have been calling out to him for a while.
Anyways, this game is supposed to serve as kind of an audition and if he does well enough, he’s in. You silently hope for his success. 
Then there’s a gentle nudge at your side. “How’d you do on the physics quiz?” Jeongguk asks, taking some steaming noodles to his mouth with a pair of perfectly split chopsticks. 
“100%.” You beamed. It was a shock to you when you saw the score online but mostly relieving. 
“Yay, that’s great.” Jeongguk held out a palm for a high-five which you reciprocated, wishing you could just kiss him. The way he smiles so brightly was enough to get you to forget about all of the eyes on you, almost increasing when you started interacting with him. “Knew you could do it.”
“Well I’d have to thank my tutor.”   
His eyes roll. “Sure but I barely did anything. You knew most of it already.” 
Nayeon and Jeongyeon laugh at the face you make, then prompt Jeongguk to try to get him to start tutoring them. When he asks what subject, they just say all of them, which makes him cutely blush for some reason. He’s a deadly mix of cute, adorable, sweet, hot and sexy and you cannot handle when each of those characteristics hit you in one go. 
You almost start to tease him about it when a set of two drop harshly onto the table’s bench with an air of annoyance around them. Suddenly, all of the bright happiness floats away. 
“Jeongguk, have you been lying to me?” Taehyung asks point blank with a hurt expression on his face. Jeongguk’s smile begins to fade. 
“About what? You know I was just joking when I said your orange hair looked funny–”
The brunette’s frown deepens. “Not about that. I mean about the girl who supposedly dumped you? And who the fuck is RG anyways?” Taehyung asks with a shake of his head, coffee colored tufts swishing in the wind.   
RG?
“What?” Jeongguk’s chin pulls back.Your panic is instant. “What are you talking about?”
Jimin cuts in with an annoyed groan. “Some guy in the bathroom was telling us about a rumor going around that this older girl dumped you and now you’re sleeping with someone else to get back at her.” Your stomach drops. No, this can’t be happening. “Apparently it was posted on some forum called–”
“GossipLeaks,” Jeongyeon supplies. The younger three look at her in confusion while Nayeon cringes. “It's this depraved site where losers with no social skills sit and refresh the page for drama from every department to fill the void inside of them instead of getting a job. Usually a person will upload a picture or start a thread and people will exchange gossip, start gossip, discuss gossip or talk shit until their fingers start bleeding. It’s hell on earth.” 
You hate that fucking site so much. It played a huge role in creating your reputation after all. 
Almost every single person on campus is there. Nayeon went slightly viral when she dumped her situationship for Jeongyeon by throwing a smoothie over his head after he said something rude to her. Someone threatened to leak their ex’s nudes to the website because they were cheated on.  Incels crowd on so they can hate on women while others live for the gossip, scrolling relentlessly to point and laugh even though their lives aren’t anything to be proud of. 
It has yet to be taken down since nothing bad is actually exchanged besides harsh words but the site is barely moderated. Not as much as it should be. 
Anyone who crosses a line has the potential to be sued but since most college students are broke, the possibility is rare. Sounds amazing, right? 
Now poor Jeongguk is at the receiving end. You can’t believe someone is lying about sleeping with him and about him rebounding with someone else. Jeongguk hasn’t even had sex before and (as far as you know) you’re the only person who has touched him. Who could do something like this?
“Show me the post,” he asks, resting his elbows on the table’s surface.  
Jimin searches it up on his phone and then places the device down, scrolling through the threads with a small pointer finger and clicking on one, then turning it towards you two. 
The pictures take a second to load but reading the post header was enough to make your mouth run dry. 
RG’s newest conquest: some loser 2nd year that was brutally dumped by Social Sciences student representative Kim Juri over the summer.
Oh great, Juri spread the rumor. Now you have the perfect reason to manifest her getting shit on by a bird. 
“Wh–” you can’t even finish your sentence. The pictures load and it’s even worse than you imagined. 
First is the two of you standing outside of your apartment building. There’s a breath of distance between your bodies and you’re laughing at something he said. His face crinkles as well, the dimples on his cheeks pop out. It looks friendly but it can easily be misconstrued. 
And the second one is of the two of you hugging, squished together like you’re trying to become one whole person, and that seals the deal. 
Your heart drops to the heels of your feet. You’re RG. Of course you’re fucking RG. Rebound Girl = RG. It’s practically part of your identity.
Suddenly, everything is making sense. The people laughing, staring at you; it’s another scandal all over again only this time, you roped in someone you actually cared about instead of someone broken hearted you decided to sleep with a few times. Now his name is soured by the stench of your bad decisions. 
You want to cry. You didn’t–you couldn’t drag Jeongguk or anyone else for the matter into your mess. 
It was always your problem to handle on your own. It was always your cross to bear. The guys you fucked never mattered once it was all said and done. Most of the time, they got street cred or they were praised while you were the dirty slut so it wasn’t like you could feel bad for them. They were always painted as the winners. But you’re terrified of what this could do for Jeongguk. 
Would he get harassed? Made fun of for giving in easily? Would he lose his chances of finding someone he actually likes this year? 
Would he want nothing to do with you afterwards?
You begin to panic, spiraling deep into the depths of your self-hating brain. How could you miss someone snapping a picture of you two in broad daylight? You should’ve done better. 
This is the worst possible thing you could imagine coming out of hanging with Jeongguk is that he would become privy to the mess that is your social life. A small part of your brain even considered this, especially after Jeongguk rejected Juri but you let it go and now you’re pissed because you should’ve been smarter. 
You should’ve pushed him away, studied on your own that night. No, you should’ve been more careful. 
You should’ve never thought you could openly hang out with him and not suffer the consequences. What were you thinking?
Once everyone has read the post, Jimin takes his phone back and continues scrolling through. No one says anything for a moment, then:
“Guys, don’t believe a word that comes out of Kim Juri’s lying mouth. She hates us,” Nayeon motions to you, her and Jeongyeon, “and she’ll do anything to make other people follow suit. Trust me.” She stresses, even abandoning her meal to reiterate. Jeongyeon nods animatedly. But the problem is much deeper than that. 
You wanted to be friends but she never entertained the idea after you got labeled as the rebound girl. Constantly tormenting you, throwing your promiscuity in your face, and denying your efforts to reconcile. 
At some point, you grew some humility and dropped the idea of you and Juri ever getting along. You’re a girl's girl but you also don’t hate yourself to desperately pine over some mean girl’s approval. 
So, now things have turned out like this.  
This is so annoyingly unfair. It's tiring  living like this, pretending like you aren’t bothered and that taking the high ground will benefit you. All you do is let Juri get away because you know deep down that fighting back has no point. 
“What a loser,” Jimin curses, turning to you with that apologetic look on his soft features. 
Taehyung does the same. “Yeah, she must have a lot of free time on her hands if this is all she does.” 
You return their kind words with a weak but meaningful smile. It doesn’t make the storm brewing up inside of you go away. It just makes things worse. Because yes, Juri is a loser but she’s only a loser in your eyes. Everyone else sees her as the complete opposite. People will always be on her side. She’s done great PR to make you look like a dick-thirsty, back-stabbing bitch. There’s no way anyone would support you. 
At the least, you’d have your two friends but Jeongguk and Jimin and Taehyung don’t need to be dragged into this war with Juri. Let them have fun, mess around, and be normal college kids while you take the heat. It’s always been that way after all. 
Jeongyeon snorts. “She’ll get some karma in return for all of this. I can just feel it.” 
There’s a slight lull in the conversation. You feel like the boys are doing their best to hold back from asking the question, the one that you really don’t want them to, while your friends are doing their best to maintain the light composure that was just there. 
It’s coming. That question. You know it is. 
Those words were blatantly on the screen and they aren’t idiots. They’re probably connecting the dots as you sit here and panic about it and you simply cannot handle those words coming from their mouths. Especially Jeongguk’s. 
Considering you watched him grow up, he’s the last person you’d want to know about being the rebound girl. 
Jeongguk’s mouth opens. You can practically see the cogs and wheels in his brain turn and that’s it for you.  
Immediately, you get up from your spot. They all look at you, concerned and confused. There’s a heavy layer of pity that now disgusts you too much for you to stay. 
“I should go,” you mumble, grabbing your things as quickly as possible. 
All of their faces morph into shock. “What?” The three boys say at the same time. 
“Babe, no, it’s fine.” Jeongyeon tries but you’ve already finished your food and your phone and bag are slung over your shoulder. 
A single touch grazes the back of your hand. “Noona, you don’t have to–”
You shake your head and dip your eyes down, refusing to be reasonable. 
“I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye.” 
This is for the best. 
Put some distance between you and Jeongguk, let the rumor die down a little, and then maybe you can hang out with him in private. Obviously no more kissing or hooking up so you’ll have to force whatever is growing inside of you to die off but you can do that. Yeah, no problem.  
Then Jeongguk can find a girl he really likes and be with her without the implications of whatever went on between the two of you looming over his head and ruining his chances. 
You turn and exit the cafeteria before anyone can stop you, taking long strides and putting a surgical mask over your face to block out your features. You even draw your hood up and shove earbuds in so you wouldn’t have to hear anymore whispers. 
Although the effort is futile; all your brain does is repeat the same words over and over again. 
Slut. 
Whore. 
Rebound girl. 
They’re starting to become synonymous with your name. Maybe you should stop pretending like you’re anything different and just accept the name for what it is. Maybe Junho was right after all. Seojoon too. 
Maybe you’re good for nothing else but a fun romp every once in a while. A tight hole and a soft wet mouth, pliant for any man who gives you attention because you’re so desperate for it, desperate for love. 
You always thought that you were hardwired wrong by always believing men when they tell you that they’re broken and beg for you to lick their wounds. That you simply just never learn from your mistakes no matter how intense they get because of that idiotic faulty screw in your skull that wants you to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. 
But maybe, you’re simply an awful person. 
Maybe you don’t actually care about the guys. You just have some shitty savior complex turned into a hunger for hurting men. Maybe you’re an awful person who deserves this. 
Before you can stop it, tears stream down your cheeks, rolling down your neck and underneath your hoodie as you walk as fast as you can towards the subway station. That tightness in your chest worsening as the very last bits of strength you were holding onto crumble into nothing. 
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The hangout was extremely impromptu. 
Jeongguk hadn’t seen you for the rest of the week and he was starting to get worried. You had responded to his texts in short, curt words, saying you were sick and that your professors were emailing you PDFs of classwork so there was no need to pick up anything. When he offered to bring some soup, you declined once more saying your mom was already bringing some and since then, he hasn’t found another excuse to come see you. 
It hurt. It hurt watching you get hurt, it hurt watching you hold back tears as you ran off to hide your hurt and it fucking hurts watching you pretend like everything is okay when it’s not. 
Jeongguk doesn’t care about the rumor. So what if people were staring and he got teased every now and then? It’s not true so it didn’t matter. 
But he realized, seeing your reaction, that the two of you were getting treated differently. 
While everyone was praising him for getting laid by “rebound girl,” and other girls began debating his potential in bed, you were getting vilified beyond anything. He heard girls in his class degrade you, calling you a slut, a whore, saying that you’d sleep with anyone if it gave you enough attention. Jeongguk would glare in their direction, scaring them off, but the whispers still swirled around him. 
After that, he wanted that stupid website to be filled with malware and be destroyed. Hell, he’d do it himself if that wasn’t a cybercrime. This whole thing has been blown way out of proportion. 
And, holy shit, the things men have been saying to him… 
It’s honestly disgusting. 
Ayyy, get it Jeon!
Knew you were a fucking stallion behind that nerdy look you got goin on.
Did she suck you off? I heard she’s really good with her mouth.
Someone came up to him and expressed regret that Jeongguk was the first and only second year to get with rebound girl, claiming he wanted to be the first but because you’re so picky, he couldn’t. Jeongguk had almost punched him but Taehyung held him back, reminding him that he could lose his scholarship too if he stooped too low. 
He hates this and he hates that you have to go through something like this. 
For the past few days, all Jeongguk could think about was how strong you were. He doesn’t know how you got this nickname, why it’s such a big deal to everyone around you, but he wished it never happened. Thanks to this rumor, you had to grow a thick skin so that you could simply be you and not have to worry about other people but unfortunately, misogyny is rampant. It made you become strong, become resilient, and he wishes that it wasn’t because of that. 
Jeongguk thought up some kind of plan to get Juri to take the post down or to publicly clear the air but he also didn’t want to play the white knight, trampling all over a situation that barely involved him. Stepping on your toes by trying to solve this could only hurt you further. 
So all he could do was wait. 
Wait for you to text back, wait for you to reappear. 
Jeongguk grows antsy and he tries to distract himself from worrying. School isn’t helping one bit so he plays games and goes to the gym as much as he can. And when that doesn’t work well–
Thankfully, his friends are an interesting bunch which brings him back to the reason why this whole hang out started. 
Nayeon and Jeongyeon were walking over with Jimin while Taehyung was hounding Jeongguk at the campus entrance over something he absolutely hates doing: buying weed. 
“C’mon, he’s literally giving it to you for free!” Taehyung whined, showing the text on Jeongguk’s phone to him like he hasn’t already read it, eyes rolling at his friends’ desperation. 
Let’s get one thing clear: Jeongguk has no problem with weed. He almost had an edible once by complete accident but he spit the rest out the minute his cousin told him that the gummy was laced with contraband so the effect didn’t do much for him. Being friends with these two dipshits means that the smell constantly follows him and he’s used to dealing with their giggly asses every now and then. Taehyung has a bong hidden in his apartment while Jimin aptly had a bright pink pipe patterned with cats all over it but he dropped it and loudly sobbed when the thing cracked in half. 
He isn’t a goody-two shoes but, speaking candidly, he’s never really felt the need to do it. 
It’s the same with alcohol. Jeongguk doesn’t get the urge to sit down with a beer and crack one open after a long day nor does he ever want to get shitfaced for fun. He needs to have complete control over himself and everything he does and everything he says because he gets the feeling that he’d be the type to tell someone his PIN number when inebriated or irritate everyone with his antics which is probably related to his anxiety but whatever. So nothing about the practice is relaxing to him. Getting drunk or high can actually make Jeongguk really fucking nervous but his peers disagree. 
Especially Taehyung who is a staunch believer that smoking weed is the best way to calm down and that food tastes better when high. Jeongguk is a bit curious about that last bit. 
But back to the begging. To make a long fucking story short: Jeongguk knows a dealer. 
Not voluntarily. A seedy 3rd year who he also tutored over the summer made sure to let Jeongguk know that he would give him some free shit he wanted as payback for all of the help passing Chemistry. Never did he think he’d take the guy up on his offer until now. 
Taehyung filled everyone in on the backstory and now Jeongguk has four people begging him like dogs wanting a treat. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing in irritation. 
“What if I get caught?” He asked; the most important question. 
Jimin countered back. “You won’t. He’s literally going to hand you a regular-ass bag and no one will suspect a thing. We can take it from you as soon as you get back here and smoke some today,” he offered, met with cheers of approval.  
Jeongguk’s chest twists. He wishes you were here to help. You were still nowhere to be found and he misses you so much. You’d probably laugh that cute laugh of yours, egg Jeongguk on with the rest of them but have concern in your pretty eyes to let him know that this wasn’t peer pressure. That he could say no and it wouldn’t be a bad thing. 
Unfortunately, he has to face this alone. 
Jeongguk gives the two girls a surprised look. “Did you two already finish your tin of edibles?” 
“Nah, we’re gonna save that for midterms so we can get zonked and watch Shark Tale while eating fried chicken.”  Jeongyeon answers, tugging  Nayeon close. 
“Awww,” Taehyung pouted. “Can we do that?” Turning to his boyfriend and gently gripping the sleeve of his shirt. 
Jimin winked at the younger. “Whatever you want baby,” then turned to the other, “but only if Einstein over here can grow some balls and say yes.” Taehyung directs his puckered lips towards him, batting his eyelashes like a cartoon character. 
Jeongguk is a weak man. He can be a people pleaser but only to those who he loves. His sisters, you and his two best friends fall into that category. 
Because one pout from Taehyung and he folds, like the weak man he is. 
“Fuck, fine. I’ll ask,” he unlocks his phone and texts the dude. “But only once! Just go to your trusted guy after this, okay?”
Taehyung and Jimin salute him. “Yes sir!” 
Jeongguk texts the guy to hand it over to him after his last class after lunch, who was more than happy to supply the guy who helped him pass his summer classes. In fact, he looked proud, jabbing Jeongguk with his pointy elbow and saying that he’s finally pulling that stick out of his ass. Whatever, Jeongguk is not that uptight. He can have fun in lots of other ways!
But  Jimin was right. The smell is barely there and the bag itself looks inconspicuous. His curiosity took over him to peek inside while walking with the others. There was a silver tin, a bag of powdered weed, a pack of peach ring edibles and two brownies. 
“Fuck, this is so much,” Jeongyeon marvels at the bag as they reach the outside of ana apartment building, pulling out the silver tin and gasping when it opens up to a set of rolled joints. “Oh my, he gave you pre-rolled joints! We’re hitting these right now.” 
Which is how Jeongguk found himself in Nayeon's studio apartment. Sitting around a coffee table with the spiked food and her TV playing Sailor Moon. He did his best to not think about how her room looked a lot like yours with all of the cute stuffed animals and posters and how her little pomeranian dog yapped happily whenever he gave it attention. The bed that he’s leaning against reminds him of the same bed where the two of you laid while your lips and hands and tongue made him feel things he’s never felt before. 
Jeongguk can’t stop thinking about you. It takes all of his restraint not to shoot you a text, not to associate everything he sees with memories of you and that night in particular. 
But he should stop so he idiotically doesn’t pop a boner with everyone else around. Thinking of you usually does that for him. 
So he focuses on the clouds of smoke blown right in front of his face as Nayeon starts on the joint. She coughs just a bit, then passes it to Jeongyeon who takes two indulgent puffs and then passes it to Taehyung and then Jimin.  Their eyes glaze over, tension from the long school day disappearing as the drugs take their effect. 
“You wanna try it?” Jimin asks, holding the flamed stick towards Jeongguk. He stares down at it, then up at his friends’ reddened eyes. 
Does he?
Everyone else seems so relaxed and Jeongguk could use some relaxation. Besides, it won’t kill him to take one hit. He’s surrounded by seasoned potheads so they’ll know what to do. It’ll be fine. Everything is fine. Maybe he’ll stop fretting over you and relax. Clear his brain for once.
Carefully, he places the tip between his lips and Taehyung explains the process. Inhale, hold it for a bit, exhale slowly. It’s supposed to burn at first and then it’ll get better. He coughs like a motherfucker and his throat might as well be on fire. But he drinks some water, tries again, and it’s a lot easier. 
Weed has a particular taste that Jeongguk doesn’t mind. The smoke is somewhat bitter on his tongue and then earthy. He feels nothing then, five minutes later, he gets this lightness in his chest and head. Or a fuzziness is more like it.  He’s almost sleepy and really hungry. Jeongguk begins devouring a packet of chocolate covered pretzels and then scarfing down two slices of pizza right after eating lunch only two hours ago. Those two things have never tasted so good before. 
Jeongguk also finds that weed makes him giggly. Like really giggly. 
He spent two minutes laughing at the way his toes looked with his toe socks on. Then about how long Taehyung’s fingers are in comparison to Jimin’s, then about the word duty (hilarious) to the point of tears springing from his eyes. Then Jeongyeon wanted to paint his nails which Jeongguk was all for and he chose a metallic midnight blue which she skilfully painted before starting on the others. Taehyung got maroon and Jimin got lilac.
Afterwards, the conversation lulled and their stomachs were full. Most of them were on the brink of falling asleep until Jimin proposed they all play a game. 
It was basically the game Hot Takes but without any cards with prompts and dividing up into teams. Basically each person had to share a “hot take,” or an opinion/commentary that’s uncommon or meant to start a debate. 
Which is a great game to play when the entire gang is not sober. 
Taehyung started off with a simple one: people who don’t like pineapple on pizza are immature babies. This sparked quite the argument to the point where Jeongyeon was questioning their friendship before the timer went off. Then she shared hers. 
Men who don’t like cats are red flags. This is factually true though. No one really disagreed so they moved on. 
Then Jimin went. His was: Men who refuse to listen to female artists are also raging red flags. Very much true. No debate there. 
Then Jeongguk: Vanilla is the worst ice cream flavor.  It tastes like a candle. Like nothing. Jeongguk hates tasteless things. Some agreed with him, Jimin glared at him from the side but his cheeks were puffed with food so he’s nowhere near as intimidating as he’d think.
Then came Nayeon. She cleared her throat, then popped a green tea kit kat in her mouth. “As someone who has hooked up with both men and women, I can surely say that men don’t know how to give head.” She says confidently. 
Silence rings in the air for a moment. Jeongyeon is sitting smug next to her girlfriend, while Jimin and Taehyung look confused. 
And Jeongguk…well, he’s a bit confused too.
“Excuse you, I give great head,” Jimin places a hand on his chest, offended. “Have you seen these luscious lips? And I don’t have a gag reflex!”
Nayeon rolls her eyes. “Okay, well I don’t know how it goes for men but I’m talking about going down on women. They suck at it and most women agree.” Her arms cross over her chest confidently. 
Jeongguk immediately thinks about you. He wants to know if you would agree. 
Taehyung rests his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “How so?”
“They don’t do the right things. Porn has rotted their brains to thinking that moaning into it and moving their tongue around you is enough when it isn’t. You can’t just wiggle it around and expect me to scream and come like a paid actress.” Nayeon huffs. “I used to think something was wrong with me until,” she trails off, pink dusting her cheeks and it’s clear what she meant. Jeongyeon’s shoulders grow even higher with confidence. “A-and you can’t even tell them that it doesn’t feel good because then you bruise their ego and they’ll never do it again.”
Hearing that, Jeongguk begins to panic. 
Is he like that? Did he not listen to you that night? 
Fuck, he’s so selfish. Did you even enjoy it when he touched you? Did he even ask?
No You definitely felt something, he felt you coming, but was it good? Was he being selfish?
Oh god. Oh godgodgodgod. 
“Honestly, they should take note from us,” Jeongyeon pulls Nayeon close. “I’ve never gotten complaints.” She looks cutely proud. 
Taehyung pipes up. “I think us gays are just better at sex,” he feigns nonchalance while everyone hollers and toasts to their perfect, idealistic, amazing sex lives. 
Everyone but Jeongguk. 
All he does is think
That night when he got hard, he had no idea things would escalate to where they did but he’s so glad because he loved every second of it. From kissing, to your teasing tone, to your mouth around him, to his fingers inside of you and all the way until you came; it was perfect. Since then, Jeongguk has thought about another opportunity way more than he’d like to admit. He’s more confident now and he wants to try more things. 
Gone is the first time insecurity. Jeongguk wants to take control, watch you shake and cry and beg for more. He wants you to feel good. That, in and of itself, is hot to him. 
But he also wants to do well. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be like the guys Nayeon was talking about. 
He knows the best way would be to directly ask you what you like but you aren’t here right now and Jeongguk knows he’ll chicken out when you’re all spread out underneath him and pretty all because he wants to impress you. 
Besides, he’s relied on porn this far and if Nayeon says it’s a bad example, then he needs to learn. 
Might as well take advantage of having two people who know how to please women and understand the basics. 
Sober Jeongguk would never. Sober Jeongguk would worry himself into a panic attack and then use the internet instead of an actual person but sober Jeongguk isn’t here at the moment.
At some point, Jimin and Taehyung fall asleep on top of each other with their hands half inside the pizza box and that’s when he gains the courage to go talk to your friends.
Meekly, he slinks over to the kitchen where Nayeon and Jeongyeon are standing. Their backs pressed against the counter while the kettle boils some water for ramen. They’re laughing about something until Nayeon makes eye contact with him and kindly raises a brow.
“What’s up?”
He wasn’t so nervous at first but looking at her, Jeongguk is now getting nervous. “Um, so–uh– about the-the game we were playing,” he wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. “I wanted to–and please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you’re uncomfortable, I’m not trying to be weird or anything, but–”
“Spit it out, kid,” Jeongyeon teases, poking the dimple in his cheek and making him flinch. 
Jeongguk exhales shakily, trying to slow his heart rate down some more. 
“Are all guys really that bad when they…um, when they, you know…” He circles his hands so they can fill in the blank and thankfully, the two pick up what he’s saying. Nayeon laughs at his stuttery behavior. 
“Well, I’m sure there are some guys out there that are great at eating girls out but not the ones I’ve met.” She takes a joint that was resting on a tray on the counter top, inhaling deeply, and then offers it to Jeongguk who accepts. “They just don’t know what they’re doing and they have no interest in learning, unlike women. Sex is an individual thing for them. Their pleasure and their feelings only.” Locks of honey blonde float in the air with the gentle breeze from the open kitchen window. “Why do you ask? Plan on doing it?”
He blushes, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before releasing it. “Y-yeah,” avoiding their eyes because this is so goddamn embarrassing what is he doing and it’s you he’s talking about. But they don’t have to know that. “I want her to feel good and you said that women are better at it. So I wanna learn how.”
Jeongguk wants you to feel good. 
Ever since he first touched you, he can’t get it out of his head. The noises you make, the way your legs twitch and your hips rise when you’re just about to come is so fucking hot. Jeongguk can’t imagine how much sexier you’d sound with your legs wrapped around his head or seated on his face as you come over and over and over again. Wet and sobbing and spent on top of him just like you deserve.  
But, he needs to gain some understanding before he does anything. 
Jeongyeon smiles. Jeongguk is unsure if they know he’s talking about you or if they’re assuming he’s got some other girl on the side that he wants to please but he can’t worry about that right now. Golden advice is being poured into his ears like fresh ambrosia from the gods themselves. 
“Alright, all you have to do is…”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
“Are you almost home?” You hear your mom’s voice pour from the speakers in your earbuds. 
Looking down the end of the street, you see your apartment building, so you bring the microphone close to your lips to speak. “Yeah, like ten seconds away.” Thank god too, your arms were hurting from carrying your tote bag and the packaged food your mom sent you away with. 
After Tuesday, when you were publicly humiliated,  you didn’t go back to school. Walking home in the rain without an umbrella gave you a slight cold and that combined with the pain you felt emotionally, resulted in you needing to go home for two days. There’s something about being doted on, eating home-cooked food, and the comfort of a parent that makes all sicknesses feel like nothing. Thankfully, she lives a 30 minute train ride from here on the opposite side of Seoul.  
It was nice. You didn’t tell your mom about what had gone down. Just gave her a basic run down as to why you got sick and not much else. 
Oh and you did tell her that you and Jeongguk reconnected but that’s about it. There’s no telling how your mother would react if she found out the two of you hooked up. You’re close with her but not that close. 
But now that you’re feeling better, you;ll probably call him and explain yourself. Then put an end to hooking up for good so you don’t repeat this mistake. 
“Make sure you carry that mini umbrella in your bag. I keep on telling you and you never listened to me,” she lectures, making you groan. 
“I know, I know, you were right,” your tone is light so she can tell you’re just messing with her. “I’ll put one in my bag as soon as I get home, okay?”
“Okay,” she sighs. The sound of the doorbell rings  in the background. “Oh shoot, okay. I have to go darling, the repairman is here to fix the washing machine. Bye! Stay safe! Eat the soup!” 
You reach the front of your apartment building anyways so no need to call. “Bye mom,” you mumble back, opening the front door and then walking to the elevators because you are too exhausted for the stairs. To use them, you scan the sensor on your keys and press the up button. 
It’s quiet in this lobby. No music, no group of people giggling or talking about their plans. It’s a Saturday evening and this building, filled with college students, is pin drop silent. 
You hate it because it leaves you alone with your tired, buzzing brain who has not been kind to you these past few days. 
Ever since that cursed post on GossipLeaks, you’ve been regretting the day you ever let a man into your life romantically. The day you had sex for the first time has been the catalyst in all of this. No peace, no happiness, just slut shaming and pain. 
Honestly, what’s the most annoying part about all of this is that your body count isn’t that high. 
Not that any number of hookups should warrant this kind of treatment.  It’s no one’s business and shaming people for having healthy consensual sex is so lame. 
Leaving Jeongguk out because you didn’t sleep with him, you’ve fucked about 30 guys. That’s over the course of almost four years since you had sex for the first time in high school.  It’s not that bad. There are guys on this campus bragging about their count being in the 200s yet not a single word of criticism or judgment is thrown their way. They’re praised and seen as gods. 
But when you have some fun casual sex every once in a while, suddenly you’re a harlot and you deserve nothing. Yeah, that sounds fair.
Switching the song on your playlist to 505 by the Arctic Monkeys, you exit the elevator to your floor and pull your keys out from the pocket of your hoodie. It’s dinner time and your mom packed your favorite. 
You open the door to find Snowball yowling at you for attention. You had Nayeon and Jeongyeon take care of her while you were back home.  She’s usually pretty okay with them but some days she simply needs to have you around. Today must’ve been one of those days.  Cooing, you set your bag on the ground and reach towards her to scratch the side of her face and pinch her cheeks. 
“Sorry baby, I’m home now, okay?” Snowball purrs in response. You pick her up and cuddle with her in your lap for a little bit until she’s had enough attention for now. 
To compensate for your absence, you got some treats too and the little ball of fur happily eats up the salmon treats while you put the food away. 
Then you light up a candle, open your windows to let the stuffy air out and begin on a few simple chores. Mainly putting the dry dishes back in the cupboard, cleaning the cat litter, some laundry and finally taking out the trash. 
You always enjoy doing these kinds of things, especially after a long few days of eating garbage and wallowing in your sick sadness. It feels nice to have fresh sheets and an empty trash can (you do the others daily already). Like a reset, a new start, which is just what you needed. 
Although, part of you feels bad for avoiding your friends for so long. 
Let’s be honest, you were embarrassed beyond anything and then the rain actually gave you a cold so some time away was 100% necessary. However, you wish you didn’t storm out without much of an explanation. You were just so embarrassed and sad and you didn’t want to cry in front of people who were clearly laughing at your demise. 
Bolting was the best choice but now that you’ve had your space, you really just want to explain yourself to the three of them, specifically Jeongguk who is directly affected by shit like this. 
While boys have it infinitely easier because they aren’t ostracized for their sexual activity, he must be uncomfortable with all of the questions being thrown his way. Maybe you’ll call him over the weekend for coffee and let him know or you could actually just facetime him so you won’t have to leave your house. Whatever, you’ll figure it out later. 
Before depositing the bags of trash to the large bins outside the apartment building, you take a quick shower, changing into a freshly washed set of clothes that are still warm from the dryer. 
Smelling like fresh laundry and the flowery scent of your lotion, you hum a song under your lips while taking the three bags outside to the bins. You think nothing of it. It’s around 8pm, most people are out right now, either going back home or leaving it. Tons of bodies are expected. 
Quickly, you round to the back of the building, dump the bags, and just as you turn the corner, your eyes meet that special pair. 
Big, sparkly, innocent when they want to be, salacious at times, but endearing nonetheless.  
“Jeongguk,” you exhale. 
He looks good, great, actually. The wind has tousled his hair around, making it look like he styled it to be messy and fluffy. Jeongguk has mastered an effortless look with a dark blue windbreaker, black cargos and white chunky sneakers. You can even see some rings on his fingers that match the ones hanging from his earlobes. 
Jeongguk turns at the sound of your voice and immediately rushes over to you. “Noona,” his eyes soften immediately, “Are you feeling better?” He asks, delicately holding you away with two hands on either side of your arms.
His touch is warm, even through the thick material of your hoodie. Makes your stomach flip. 
“Yeah, lots.” You giggle barely, patting his arm softly. “What are you doing here?” Jeongguk removes his hold on you, shoving them into the pockets of his jacket. 
“I had a meeting with my league captain’s place two blocks from here and I was going to catch the train using the station near your place.” 
“Oh.” You open your mouth to say something but his stomach rumbles loudly and Jeongguk covers the area up with his arms in embarrassment, making you smile. “Hungry?” He blinks at you widely and cutely. 
“Yeah but only if you’re okay with it. I know,” he looks to the side awkwardly, “I know you wanted space and all so it’s cool if not. I can get Subway or something.”
As kind as it is for Jeongguk to respect this boundary that you haven’t verbally admitted is already somewhat gone, you’d feel bad letting him walk around on an empty stomach. 
“I’m cool with it. My mom packed way too much anyways.”  You shrug to make him more likely to say yes. Thankfully, it works.
Jeongguk scratches the back of his neck, sniffling from the cold once and then nodding. So you beckon him to walk next to you, back inside your apartment building and inside the elevator. 
The conversation is brief and minimal, mainly asking about his week and how his meeting with his league went. You get brief responses in return which make you think he’s either annoyed with you or simply too hungry for chit chat. It’s slightly annoying that you don’t have the courage to be forthright and ask him how he’s feeling as if you didn’t have this man’s dick in your mouth a week ago. 
Come on, you think as the elevator doors part. What’s the worst that he could say?
“Yeah, I am annoyed because you left for three days and I haven’t heard from you since.”
Well, you had a reason and a valid one at that. Besides, Jeongguk wouldn’t be annoyed over something so understandable. 
The keys unlock the front door and you hold it open for Jeongguk, who slips his sneakers off and is immediately met by a curious Snowball. The moment she recognizes him, she headbuts her head into his calf, purring loudly. 
“Hi baby,” he coos, petting her after plopping on the ground. You watch from halfway to the kitchen, a smile instantly forming on your lips as Snowball practically melts under his touch. 
“She missed you,” you muse. “Looks like you’re the favorite.” 
Jeongguk snorts. “Doubt it,” he looks up at you through his lashes, flashing the one deep dimple he has on his cheek along with the various creases in his skin. 
Your heart flutters immediately. 
“I’ll reheat the food.”
There’s a comfortable silence that resumes among the two of you. Jeongguk moves to the coffee table, leans against the edge of your bed and pets a purring Snowball while you tinker in the kitchen. He turns on the TV, watches a replay of some Mnet performance and hums along softly. You bring the steaming dishes out along with rice and chopsticks, settling a comfortable distance from the younger and eating. 
He doesn’t say a word. You change the channel to the k-drama you were just binging during the train ride that you’ve watched maybe 900 times and Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. 
Your eyes well up at the romantic scenes and you bury your feelings into green tea Kit-Kats and tea. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. 
He doesn’t say a single word until the food is all done, the drama rolls the credits and Snowball has moved to a corner far away to sleep. Then Jeongguk gains the courage to ask you. 
“Do you…do you want to talk about it?” Jeongguk asks meekly. 
At first, you had no idea what he meant. Then it hits. 
Of course he’d want some answers. It’s his name that’s attached to your stupid label. Not like you can keep Jeongguk in the dark forever, right?
You had prepared yourself for this so you weren’t as uncomfortable but when the time hits, you sort of want to crawl into a ball and die. 
You sigh, keeping your eyes on the half-finished bag of Kit-Kats. “No… yes… sort of.”
 The thing is, only two people know the full story: Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Your mom knows about high school but those two have every detail. 
Usually, you wouldn’t be so keen on spilling this out to anyone but the look on Jeongguk’s face is genuine concern and he isn’t some sleazy hookup you met at a bar. Jeongguk actually cares about you. He won’t use this against you or shame you. He’s asking because he cares.  So it should be okay.
Besides, it gets tiring holding all of this in from your mom and adding on each shitty story to the pile. It’s close to overflowing inside of you and you need to let some out. 
Jeongguk is trustworthy. He knows you. So you decide to start from the beginning of all of this. 
“My track record with guys isn’t exactly clean,” you start, staring at the Hello Kitty pattern on your socks. “The first guy I slept with only did it as a bet because he knew I really liked him.” There’s a drop in your stomach at the mere mention of Seojoon. His gentle laughter and rough hands and how he barely even flinched when he saw how much you were crying when you found out. “He told me we were dating and that he was in love with me. I stupidly believed him and let him take my virginity because I wanted him so bad that I didn’t even see the red flags. Then I saw him making out with another girl and… it sort of broke me.” 
Back then, you were quite the target. You were poor, your clothes and books were cheap, you didn’t have the newest phone or the nicest stationery and other classmates loved to point that out about you. All you wanted was to be accepted, to have friends, and fall in love. 
Everyone seems to romanticize teenage love but they never seem to talk about how difficult teenage loneliness is either. 
Seeing couples or hearing people talk about love like it was so easy made you want to scream into the void. Why couldn’t you have that? You wanted it so bad but why wasn’t it coming to you? Were you not lovable? Not worthy of a crush?
Seojoon was supposed to be your chance at teenage love only for him to hurt you the most. 
That summer break, you swore you were going to die alone. The empty loneliness began to consume you. All you wanted was for someone to care about you and instead you got ridiculed. For having feelings. It was awful and you never cared about love again. 
Some part of your brain is convinced that men are incapable of feeling love. Look at your dad, leaving without a second word, and look at Seojoon. You loved them and they burned you. 
“Then, I started college and I decided that I wouldn’t let another guy manipulate me like that ever again. I was going to stay single for a while which was fine because my department got along. We weren’t super close but it was cordial, especially us first year girls. We’d get snacks, do homework, bake together and gossip a lot. Mostly the latter because all of us were kind of obsessed with this older guy, Junho.” You explain, imagining his honey sweet smile and eyes. “He was a class representative for the Econ department with a reputation for dating around and all of the girls, aside from Jeongyeon, used to dream that one day, he’d pick one of us and we’d get our happy ever after.”
It was fun. He was sort of like the department’s prince charming or It-Boy. Girls would flock around him, sometimes you included, just to get a glimpse of the Junho. 
Jeongguk rests his chin on his knees that are folded up to his chest, staring intently at you as you continue to speak. “The thing is, Junho was actually really nice even though he was a total fuck boy. He just had a quality about him that made everyone like him. He was sociable and easy to talk to and cute but I never made a move. I was perfectly okay with finding him attractive from a distance because in my head, he was just this guy I thought was cute. That’s all I allowed myself to feel while the other girls kissed his cheek and asked for photos when they could.” 
You knew that was for the better anyways. 
Guys like Junho were a lot like Seojoon. Their egos were nice and fluffed to the point where they saw girls as expendable. If one said no, there’s a high chance one will just because they’re so blessed in genetics. Back then, you didn’t want to suffer the pain you felt because of Seojoon so you kept a distance and smiled as the other girls were living the dream. 
“At some point, one girl he was messing around with absolutely rejected him in front of everyone and you could tell it hurt because he actually liked her.  He didn’t show up at school for a few days and when he did, he wasn’t the old Junho. Instead, he was standoffish and quiet. Girls still wanted him but the interest changed from wanting to pin him down with commitment to healing his broken heart.” You stare at your fingernails, chipped nail polish revealing your pink nail beds. “I still kept my distance. I mean, what happened sucks but I wasn’t going to worry about it.” That’s what happens when you treat girls like shit. “Until I found him buying soju at a convenience store one night.”
A big mistake. 
Jeongguk’s expression doesn’t change one bit and you’re glad for that. It makes you think he isn’t judging you in his head.  
“He says hi and asks if he can talk to me and even though I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. I was starving and I wanted to eat at the store but I couldn’t disrespect him by rejecting him unless I wanted to get mauled the next day at school,” you explain. The seniority was insane. Still is. “So Junho and I ate together and then he just started trauma dumping on me about his failed relationship.”
Going on and on about how he was such a good guy and she was the first girl he ever really liked and that she was different and that she could change him for the better. Looking at it now, that was a sack of shit but nineteen year old you was eating up every word. 
Especially when he started hitting deep. 
 “He was crying on my shoulder and I just felt so bad. I mean, sure, Junho was a player but I know what it feels like to want someone so bad and almost be punished for it. So I tried to console him by giving some basic ass advice like it’ll stick around if it’s meant to be. I don’t even think he was listening,” a sardonic laugh leaves you at what comes next. At how idiotic you were. “I guess halfway through my spiel he realized I was a girl with boobs who was a inches away from him and his primitive man brain just connected these imaginary dots. Since I had sympathy for him, I must want to console him even further with sex. So he asked if he could kiss me.” 
Jeongguk doesn’t say anything but his chin tucks in and that’s enough of a reaction for you to continue. 
“And you wanna know what I said? Yes.” You laugh again at your utter stupidity. “Not only because I was attracted to him but because I actually felt so sorry for him that I was willing to be his one-way ticket to happiness. I didn’t want him to feel worthless anymore, not like I did when Seojoon rejected me.” White hot shame burns your skin, your insides, all throughout your body. “I wanted to give him the fraction of attention I wished someone could’ve given me back then. I thought it would maybe soothe some of my old wounds too, maybe we…we both could move on from this.” It sounds so illogical right now but back then, it made complete sense. “We slept together one night and the next morning, after leaving me in his bed without another word, Junho tells everyone.”
It started with his chummy friend group, typically bragging after getting laid and getting his ego boosted. Like how every rumor or story passes around and Junho made sure to leave in the juicy details. 
“He said I was the best rebound lay he’s ever had and that I made sure to make him feel like a king again,” you roll your eyes. All you did was blow him before letting him put it in. That should not constitute this much embellishment. “His friends told their friends who told other people and somehow the entire school knew I slept with him. That day, I walked onto campus and guys who never gave me the time of day before were suddenly so interested in me.” Which you didn’t mind but it did get annoying when they would look everywhere but your face. “I didn’t think anything else would happen. Only, I forgot how the girls would react.”
Remember, Junho was the It-Boy. Everyone wanted him and if you got to sleep with him, you were either harassed and slut-shamed or praised. It depended on how Junho reacted. Now, you didn’t hurt him so you thought you were in the clear but that rule ended up changing. 
Because now all the guys wanted you and some girls didn’t like that. 
“They were annoyed that I got with him first without consulting them. Thinking I wanted all of this attention and I wanted to be the first girl from our year to sleep with them like this was some kind of competition when that couldn’t be the farthest from the truth. I explained myself and I told them it was a one time thing and I was only trying to comfort him but it didn’t matter. They made their decision. My fate was sealed. I became rebound girl.” It took one simple night for your entire college life to be ruined. “Guys would come to me, complain about their broken hearts, manage to get to me because I’m easy and I always manage to convince myself that they mean no harm when they always do, sleep with me, then tell the entire school the next day. Rinse and repeat.  I’m an idiot,” you exhale, hiding your face in your hands. 
It’s such a painful sensation to want to cry but no tears come out. You want to scream, shout into the sky about how frustrating this entire thing is but you don’t have the energy. 
All you feel is exhaustion. Accepting this fate is your only option. You dug this grave, now go lie in it alone, like you deserve. 
“I should’ve known. I should’ve been smart enough to stop after the first person but I keep on giving these guys the benefit of the doubt and trusting them when they actually say they want me when–I just–ugh, I’m so–”
Then something warm gently scoots across your back and your nose is filled with the scent of cotton and floral notes. The arm curls around you, cupping your shoulder as the other one rounds your front and Jeongguk is hugging you. 
Okay and maybe the position is awkward and maybe you’re about as red as a tomato with anger but this hug is just what you needed. 
Throughout the week, all you did was blame yourself and convince yourself to keep some distance from Jeongguk. You didn’t want to ruin his reputation or bring him into your mess with this weird love triangle with Juri because he simply didn’t deserve that just for being your friend and letting you suck him off once. But your heart simply wasn’t in it. You didn’t want to leave the one person that reminds you of your childhood and feels like home. 
“You’re not an idiot,” Jeongguk says.
You sigh. “You don’t have to–”
Jeongguk interrupts you. “No,” he presses firmly. “So what if you slept with that Junho guy? What does it matter to everyone else?” He huffs cutely with his thick brows all furrowed and lips slightly pouty. “Why do they get to shame you when there are tons of other college students doing the same thing? Why are you the only one in the wrong?”
Jeongguk is right. Lots of people have lots of sex. Guys are on the higher side but there are people out there having regular hookups. You get chastised for it. 
But at the same time…
“I allowed this to happen, Jeongguk.”
Even if those guys tried to get to you with their sob stories, you still said yes at the end of the day. You played into this reputation. Aren’t you at fault too? 
“You didn’t allow anything, though.” He sighs, turning more to you, hands cupping your cheeks to get you to meet his gaze, thumbs tracing the skin under your eyes. “Noona. This isn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for this.”
“It feels like it. No matter what I do, people will always see me as some big bad slut. How can I not believe it?” It’s your turn to sigh, gently pushing Jeongguk’s hold off your face and turning to the side. “Have people been treating you differently?”
Is it as bad as you think? Are girls refusing to talk to him? Boys usually never get the kind of treatment you do but you can’t help but panic. 
Jeongguk waves it off. “No,” his eyes roll heavily and it doesn’t soothe you. “Like there are a few comments here and there but it’s all praise.” 
Momentarily, you are relieved that he isn’t being ridiculed for sleeping with you. At least, you think, at the very least boys will always get away with their promiscuity. You can count on that. 
“Still. Being associated with me in that way is just no good, Guk,” you remind him, even though pushing him away is the last thing you want. You want him close, to feel his touch, to kiss his lips and be with him. There’s a fire brewing inside you and it hasn’t been quenched since the first time you got to kiss him. All it does is ask for more chances. 
To kill that flame would take a lot from you and you already don’t have much to give. 
Jeongguk links your fingers together and rests them on his outstretched thigh, searching your eyes to gain your attention. “I don’t care about a bunch of random people and their opinion. It’s not going to stop me from seeing you. Not them and not that Juri girl, okay?”
Fucking Juri. 
She spearheaded all of that hatred towards you when Junho spilled the beans on you sleeping with him. She was the one behind the scenes telling all of the other girls in your grade just how awful and back-stabbing you were. You hadn’t even wronged her. Sure, she liked Junho just as much as everyone else did but you still had yet to hit her where she was really sensitive. 
 “Juri never liked me. The first time we met, she had this impression with the way I dressed or if some guy looked at me too long. As if she could already tell I was the type of girl to seduce every guy in my vicinity.” It didn't matter what you wore, some guys just stared because the way society oversexualizes everything about a woman. You weren’t a person to them, you were an object with tits and a nice ass. “When the rumor got out, it was like her first impression was confirmed and she was telling everyone else how awful I was.” It just gets worse and worse delving into this topic and while Jeongguk hasn’t been scared off just yet, this might be it. You sigh, avoiding his eyes for your conjoined hands to comfort you. “After Junho there was this other guy, I think his name was Sunghoon, and he was best friends with Junho. Juri had a massive thing for him, even more than whatever she felt for Junho, but I didn’t know because we were never friends.” 
No one knew but Juri’s circle. It was a secret crush after all. 
“Sunghoon heard about me from Junho and wanted to sleep with me too. I was already upset about Junho telling everyone so I ended up rejecting him since it was too soon but he still told everyone we did it anyway. Of course, everyone believed him no matter what I said. My reputation was set in stone.” You feel Jeongguk squeeze your hand tightly when your voice wobbles slightly. You swallowed down any pain you felt inside. “Juri was furious and now all of the other girls had perfect reason to hate me because I apparently stole her man. I tried to tell her that I didn’t know and that I’m sorry and that it wasn’t even true but she didn’t want to hear it.” 
Part of you doesn’t want to blame her. You know what it feels like when the guy you like chooses another girl. It hurts more than anything else, digs at your insecurities, begs the question if you are loveable or some ugly beast. 
But Juri was never kind to you to begin with. She isn’t a girl’s girl, she’s someone who will do anything for male validation. Even if it means losing all of her friends. 
So you know what? You don’t need someone like that in your life. 
Nayeon and Jeongyeon would never do something like that. 
“Did anyone else lie about having sex with you?”
A sad scoff leaves your lips. “You wanna know what the actual number is?” Jeongguk nods. “30. But ask anyone in our school, they’ll easily say 300 or some shit. Most guys have lied.”
Not like anyone will fact check. Junho did enough embellishment so all of the other guys could simply say your name and they’d believe it. 
That’s what reputation is. A label attached to a person so powerful that it does things on its own. And you had a reputation for being a slut who fixes broken men. 
Jeongguk groans, breaking you out of your train of thought. “This is so frustrating.” Your head turns, finds genuine anger on his boyish features. “All of those guys came to you. Junho and that Sunghoon guy and Seojoon all came to you and made you think they needed to have sex with you to feel good,” Jeongguk stresses. “And then you get punished for being a victim to their games.”
A man can be promiscuous all he wants but a woman has to remain pure. Not for her own sake but for the sake of men. Whenever women put themselves first, they’re bullied into silence. They aren’t supposed to act like men. They’re supposed to be proper, beacons of purity and grace. 
Well, who fucking made that rule? 
Why can’t men be the beacons of purity? Why do they get to slut around and get away with it? 
Why are you the spawn of Satan for even looking at a guy while there are boys at your university who have actually slept with over 100 women. 
“People suck,” is all you can say back. You’re just one person. There’s no way you can change the way society has been structured for years on end, right? A twinge of despair sits heavily in your chest as you’re consistently met with the reality of your situation. 
 “They do. And you know what?”Slowly, you look back up into Jeongguk’s sparkly bright eyes. He’s got the beginnings of a smile on his lips and you swear your stomach rushes with butterflies. “It’s their loss. Because they are missing out on getting to know a beautiful, kind, smart, accomplished and hardworking woman.”
You soften immediately. Sure, you’ve been called beautiful before but never the others. After being sexualized for years on end, no one else ever saw your worth beyond that so you had to tell yourself. Sometimes it worked, sometimes your insecurities got the best of you. But you know that you’re hardworking and smart and kind. 
It’s different coming from Jeongguk. 
He’s saying it for you, not to benefit himself later on. It’s real, not a blanket statement. There’s no promise that you’ll blow him and he won’t go around telling people that you did because he isn’t like that. 
He’s a man who genuinely likes you for you. Not your body or your reputation. 
Your legs uncurl and you’re inching closer to him. It’s an automatic response. You don’t even think to try to hold it back because you don’t want to and you shouldn’t have to. It’s safe in your apartment and no one will call you anything here. You get on your knees and swing one leg over his lap once more, inviting the soft scent of him as your face buries in the crook of his neck, arms wound around his shoulders. 
Jeongguk is warm and his hands are back on your hips innocently. The touch isn’t sexual at all and it’s just what you needed. 
Jeongguk’s chin rests on your shoulder as he starts speaking once more. “And you know what? Someone got caught fucking in the teachers lounge two days ago and it’s all everyone is talking about. No one has mentioned this story at all so don’t worry about it. I’m the least affected by this. I want to know if you’ll be okay.”
You smile against his skin, hopes he can feel you do that. 
“I will.” 
This rumor will pass, someday, certainly. But then, you refuse to be photographed with a man in any sort of context. All hookups will have to leave at 3am or something. 
Speaking of….
“You wanna stay the night?” You pull your head out, fingers twisting with the strands at the back of his head. “It’s getting late and I don’t want you to take the subway right now.” You live in a safe area but still. And you want him around but only if he’s interested. “I could call you a cab too, if you want?”
“No, I’ll stay. I just don’t have any sleepwear.” He looks down at his cargo pants with a slight pout. God, he’s adorable. 
“I have sweatpants,” you offer. Or Jeongguk could also sleep in his boxers. 
Unlike some people, you can control yourself. 
“There’s a high chance they won’t fit.”
Right. Boy has huge thighs. Muscular and toned. You can feel them underneath your legs and the brief thought of riding them until you cum all over him passes through your mind like a cheetah. Now is simply not the time to be horny. 
Seriously, your cycle of terror finished two days ago. You have to relax. You just said you could control yourself. 
Still, you let one of your hands slither down from where they were hanging behind Jeongguk’s neck to the planes of his chest, stopping right where his beating heart should be. It thumps soundly beneath your fingertips while allowing you to feel up the firm peaks of his chest that you so desperately want to squeeze like anything. 
“Speaking from experience?” You smirk. 
Jeongguk’s face dulls, pinching your side in retaliation. You yelp. “Look when you live with two sisters, laundry gets mixed up and I’ve had a lot of sweatpants barely go up my legs until I started running my clothes alone.” 
Giggling, you flick under his chin. 
Although, the thought of him doing his own laundry is also hot and–holy fuck, bro, get it together. 
You tap his chest once. “Fine, I’ll get you a pair.” You sigh, waiting for Jeongguk’s hold on your waist to loosen so you can get up, which he allows you to do. 
Except, sitting on your knees for so long left them sore and lacking in blood flow so by the time Jeongguk also gets up, your legs almost give out, resulting in you collapsing against his chest for balance and your hands landing right on his chest. 
“Sorry,” you exhale with some laughter. Jeongguk’s hands first curl around your elbows, warm and comforting, and then down to your hips. “Gimme a sec. I literally can’t feel my legs so I’ll have to hold onto you for a–ah!” 
Jeongguk uses the hold he has on you to lift you up, twine your legs around his waist with a little bounce in his movement. Your hands clutch at his body when you feel your feet lift off the ground, fear subsiding when he looks up at you with glimmering eyes. 
Staring back, it’s obvious why women like him, why Juri was so upset when he rejected her. Jeongguk is so attractive it’s insane. From every angle, he manages to look perfect. Like an angel. 
“I like it better this way,” he grins. 
Doesn’t help that he’s sweet like candy on the inside too. 
The blush on your cheeks must make you look like a tomato but you don’t care. The way Jeongguk looks at you, holds you, has your entire body covered in goosebumps. Fluttering inside your tummy, screaming at you to pin him down against that mattress and show him all of the things that you like too. 
But all you do is playfully roll your eyes. “You nearly gave me a heart attack,” you pretend to scold. 
“You like it.” 
Fuck, he’s smirking and he’s right. You did like it. There’s something to be said about being manhandled and tossed around like some ragdoll. You’ve always been the submissive one in sex so the thought of Jeongguk bending your body to his will calls for a rush of arousal. 
That coupled with the cocky look on his face. It’s fucking Niagara Falls down there. 
“Just move, Jeon. Unless you want to sleep in the pants you’re already wearing.” 
Jeongguk moves a hand up to salute you, still keeping a strong grip on the back of your thighs. You bite back a gasp when he subconsciously squeezes the mass to make sure his hold doesn’t falter. 
You’re already throbbing. Both from the act of strength and the confidence wavering off him. When Jeongguk first touched you, he was so hesitant but now he’s reached a point where he can hold you without fear that he’s crossing a boundary. Thanks to the conversation you had at the beginning of the week and you’re glad about it. He’s one of the only guys you genuinely trust. 
And currently, he’s the only guy you want to pin you down on your bed
Directing him to the chest of clothes, Jeongguk walks the two of you forward. Then sets you down in front of it.  You could’ve easily gotten up but, you know, why do that? 
With a still fuzzy brain, shaking fingers curl around the drawer’s metal handle. You pull open the first drawer of your dresser without much thought. Jeongguk is hovering behind you with curious eyes, allowing you to get drunk on the scent of him and the warmth of his body. 
But being on cloud nine makes you forget that the drawer you opened just so happens to be your lingerie drawer. 
And you pause. Like a dog getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. 
The contents are neatly packed. Lacy and skimpy, in multiple colors. No one should own this much lingerie but you love it. The confidence a nice set gives you and the way some react make spending all of that money online worth it. You feel powerful and you’ve had some great fucks in some of these sets. 
However, this is not how you planned on showing Jeongguk your collection. 
Yeah, let’s add this to the list of porno plots that you thought happened to no one but  happened to you because you are experiencing bouts of embarrassment and bad luck at the moment. You might as well change your name and move to Switzerland to herd sheep now. 
Jeongguk pauses behind you too. The hands that were on your hips, steading you for no reason, feel slightly detached.
Causing you to panic. 
The drawer slams shut. “S-sorry! Wrong one.” You go to the 2nd one and pull out a large gray pair, pushing it into Jeongguk’s chest without another word. 
Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodhohmygod. 
You should’ve actually thought this through! Instead of letting the lightness from Jeongguk picking you up dictate your every move like an idiot. Now what will he think? 
Sidestepping him, you don’t even want to imagine what could be going on in Jeongguk’s head. A desperate ploy to sleep with him after complaining about the way men treat you? Trying to gain his sympathy just to get him in bed? Sounds hypocritical, right? 
You should go. You should check on the dishes or make some tea or–
“Noona,” Jeongguk stops you with a soft hand on your wrist. “It’s okay,” his voice is firm and sure, causing you to slowly turn your neck to face him. 
His lips are set neutral, a little pouty like always. But his expression seems to be calm. 
“You don’t have to apologize or anything.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows. “Honestly, it was…” he trails off, the redness becoming more obvious on his cheeks and ears. 
Oh. 
Any rigidness in your body begins to melt and you feel that previous fluttering in your belly return, pushing you to take a step closer. “Did you like them?” You ask, boldly. 
Gone is the fear that you’ve pushed him away, reaffirmed your reputation or behaved like the very assholes who gave it to you because he doesn’t believe in that. He likes you and trusts you and you have no reason to panic when things like this happen. Jeongguk won’t call you a slut. 
He cuts contact, looks to the side, and you see the briefest nodding on his head. Your smile grows tenfold. How cute. 
“Oh, I see.” Abandoning any plans of running from him, palms flat on the firmness of his chest that you so desperately want to sink your teeth into. The light hitting the top of his head illuminates his skin, making him all golden, and you don’t think you can handle your wetness any longer. Jeongguk is just that good looking. “Do you wanna pick one out?” 
His eyes flash up to you. “What?”
“Pick one for me to wear.” 
Jeongguk’s boy brain seems to put the pieces together slowly, realizing what you want to happen, what you’re greenlighting that he’s been thinking about for a few days now. 
You take initiative by going back to your dresser, tugging Jeongguk along, and opening the drawer all over again. Now Jeongguk can actually look at it instead of relying on the five second glimpse he got before. Sees all of the lace and mesh cut outs, sees the box of condoms in the corner, some lube. Thankfully, you’ve hidden any sex toys so you won’t have to deal with that. 
While him finding lingerie was pretty tame in retrospect, Jeongguk finding that 7 inch vibrator you’ve got would be the end of you. 
None of your baby dolls are in here but you don’t think those are Jeongguk’s style. Too much frill and fabric, meant for guys who really desire stereotypical femininity in the girls they fuck and want a little show when fucking. Jeongguk seems a little more straightforward. Likes easy access while still being sexy. So all of your teddys, which are essentially bodysuits or swimsuits made mostly of lace, are in this drawer. His eyes travel all throughout, ignoring the pinks and teals and reds for black and white. 
Inching closer, Jeongguk seems to be deciding on two in particular. Then gently pulls one out by the strap. 
“I like this.” 
Your jaw slackens slightly. It’s crotchless, first of all, and it’s completely see through. Even the cups reveal your nipples without much fabric covering it. There’s a single strip of fabric going down your sternum and there are two identical lace detailing on your sides, completely free where your mons would be. Open right at your entrance. 
Jeongguk picked a much more revealing one. You wonder what on earth he has planned for you but you nod regardless, taking the article of clothing from him and brushing some hair out of his face. 
“Get changed and then wait on the bed for me.” Kissing him briefly on the nose. 
Thankfully, you took an everything shower yesterday. Not that you really care about hair and men who do are weird but this will be your second time hooking up with Jeongguk so you still want to look a certain way for him, just until you talk about preferences some more. 
Jeongguk speed walks to your bathroom, has you giggling at the way he urgently shuts the door. Snowball’s head perks up from her bed and you carefully move her to a different bed in a farther corner so she doesn’t have to bear witness to whatever will happen. She isn’t happy about it, makes an irritated low noise when you hold her but it’s for her own good. 
After patting her a few times to get comfortable in her new bed, Jeongguk emerges with your pants in his hands. 
“They didn’t fit.” 
Not that you’re complaining. 
“Shame, guess your boxers will have to do.” You feign annoyance but the slight bulge in the fabric tells you the opposite. 
Jeongguk’s expression is difficult to judge. He follows your body as you saunter to the bathroom, eyes burning a hole in your back. You purposefully sashay a little, making sure your ass is shown off, that your hair swishes around. You’re dripping in confidence and you didn’t expect yourself to be like this considering the beginning of your run-in with Jeongguk. 
But, he helps bring you back down from that poor state of mind where you let everyone’s words get to you by reminding you just how amazing you are. Confidence is something you always had but it gets buried and Jeongguk just brought it back up. 
At some point, you hope to grow strong enough to never allow stuff like what happened this week to bother you. Even better, that the rumor becomes squashed and you’re no longer rebound girl. 
But that’ll take time and, right now, you’re willing to wait. 
Stripping down, you get ready. Slipping on the lingerie, messing your hair up a bit, adding a touch of lip gloss, and humming Positions by Ariana Grande to get you in the zone. 
Jeongguk should want to devour you. You should want to devour him. 
The door creaks open slowly and your body is halfway out when you speak up. “Close your eyes, Jeongguk!” 
Some rustling is audible. “Huh? Okay!” He calls back in his trademark polite gentle tone. A smile grows on your face right afterwards. 
You got this. 
The door behind you shuts, slightly colder air causing you to be covered in goosebumps but it doesn’t matter. You’ll be warmed up soon. Turning the corner, Jeongguk is seated on the edge of your bed with his legs spread wide (hot), propped up with his hands on the bed on either side of his hips.  
And he’s done you the favor of already taking his shirt off, folded neatly at the foot of your bed. So Jeongguk is just in his boxers. How nice of him. 
A scoff leaves your lips, too quiet for him to pick up, but your footsteps are loud and clear. Jeongguk moves his hands a little and he doesn’t flinch when you sink down onto his warm lap, arms around his neck like they belong. 
“Can I open my eyes now?” Jeongguk hasn't touched you just yet. Honestly, he seems like he’d make the perfect sub with how good he is and how well he listens but you’ve never delved into that. 
You have no idea if you’d totally enjoy it unless it was a teasing back and forth and Jeongguk got the chance to put you in your place too. Get you whining and crying into your sheets until–
Okay, fuck. You’re already soaking wet and bare. You don’t need the scenarios and you haven’t even responded to him. 
Leaning close to his perfect face, you smack a quick kiss on his cheek, right below that scar of his. “Not yet, baby.” You purr, mapping a line down his neck with your lips. Jeongguk has such a nice neck and hickeys look so good on him. The urge to mark him up completely overtakes all rationality (not that you had much to begin with). 
Kissing down to the middle of his neck slowly, your lips suction around his pulse point, digging your teeth in, and you feel Jeongguk stir beneath you. His hips raise slightly, desperate for some kind of friction that you refuse to give. All you can smell is his sweet perfume and feel his soft skin. 
Jeongguk whimpers your name and you can feel your pussy throbbing, surprised that you’re not leaking all over his bare thigh. 
“Fuck,” he groans, thrusting up. Jeongguk’s boxers are so thin so you can feel the defined bulge pressing into your bare mound and you almost falter from how thick and big it feels. 
It’s been a few weeks since you’ve had a dick inside you and you are really craving it. Sure, you have toys that could easily help but Jeongguk is bigger than your biggest one. Suddenly, that 7 inch vibrator simply won’t cut it. 
Clenching around nothing, you pull away from his neck. “You can open your eyes now,” exhaling heavily. 
Jeongguk follows. Your eyes connect and it’s electric. Sizzling tension, blood pumping deep in your veins, breaths mingling. Two seconds go, passing atypically slowly, and then he moves. 
Jeongguk makes the first move connecting your lips, taking you by surprise, but you kiss him back and try to match his vigor. He kisses you with passion and wanton, controlling you like he might never get another chance to taste you. Gets your heart thumping loudly in your chest. 
Especially when his fingers curl around your ass, squeezing roughly to earn a gasp of rapture, and his tongue sneaks in and runs deep along yours. 
Questioning if he was totally a sub? Yeah, you don’t know about that. 
Getting strong switch vibes from him. 
Jeongguk gets up from the bed after wrapping your legs around his waist, turning around and laying you down on the bed. Your lips break apart for a split second but Jeongguk changes the moment your back touches the mattress, as if he can’t live without your kisses. You moan at his eagerness, realizing he has yet to look at your full set yet and is going crazy over just kissing you. 
Fingers wind in his soft silky hair, tongues mingling in your mouth. It’s wet and messy and vulgar, teeth clacking, but you don’t have it in you to care. 
He breaks the kiss again to kiss the corner of your lips, your cheek and then your jaw before pulling away and finally looks down while hovering over you. 
Watching Jeongguk’s expression change is like high art. 
You swear his eyes get darker, a vein on his neck bulges. “Jesus,” he grits. One hand begins at your sternum and slithers down where your breasts threaten to spill out of the flimsy thing. Jeongguk’s thumb traces over your pert nipple, causing you to twitch at the brief stimulation. “You look so fucking hot.” 
“Yeah?” 
Jeongguk nods, sitting up a little so he’s kneeling between your spread legs. “Like a goddess.” His eyes take you in, eating up every inch of skin he can see. “A beautiful, sexy, amazing goddess.” 
You smirk, bending your leg some more to expose more of yourself to him. His gaze dips down to your bare cunt, wet and swollen for him and you swear you see his jaw set. 
“You’re talking like you wanna worship me,” you joke cornily. Honestly, you’re too taken aback by the way Jeongguk is looking at you to cringe but thankfully he doesn’t say anything against it. 
“I think I do.” Is his response. 
Barely processing it, Jeongguk lifts you up by your calves, resting them on his shoulders and leaning down. Your stomach flips, you gasp, trembling slightly as Jeongguk begins to leave hickeys on the soft flesh of your inner thigh along with occasional bite marks. 
Is he going to do what you think he is? Does he even know how? It’s been ages since someone went down on you. Most men simply don’t know how or care to learn. 
You think Jeongguk is the opposite. He isn’t pleasuring you for himself but because he wants you to feel good so if you don’t like something, he’ll fix it. 
But still, eating girls out is apparently something only girls can do properly. Nayeon is a firm believer in that. 
Your head tilts back with each teasing mark making you wetter and wetter. He’s certainly building up the anticipation correctly so you’ll give him a point for that. Soon you’re throbbing so bad from how sexy Jeongguk looks with his dark hair between your thighs and kiss-bruised lips that you almost beg for his mouth on you. 
“Pretty,” Jeongguk growls, reaching closer to your dripping core. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” The muscles in his back flex and you can feel them against your calves. “Can I?”
You don’t even hesitate. He’s inches away from you and you don’t think you can go another second without his touch. “Please Guk.” 
He doesn’t waste another second leaning down and licking a fat stripe up your core, making your legs twitch around his head. His tongue is flat and wide starting from your entrance all the way to your clit, tasting you once and groaning immediately after. 
“Shit,” you wince. Fingers getting stuck in Jeongguk’s hair. “Jeongguk.” 
Embarrassingly, you almost grind on his face but Jeongguk keeps a tight hold on your hips as his mouth closes around your clit, sucking the bud a few times like he’s making out with you which has you groaning out. His nose bumps into your outer lips and you imagine that it would feel like heaven to grind back onto the bulbous tip while sitting on his face. Big noses are so hot for that reason in particular. 
Jeongguk pulls back, gets up on his elbows a little to drop a fat blob of spit onto your pussy, watching it mix with your juices as you clench again. This time he notices your neediness and he chuckles darkly. 
“Cute,” lips closing around your clit as he looks up at you. “Want my fingers in you badly, huh?”
“Yes.”
Jeongguk’s lips pull off with a loud pop. “How bad?” Digits tracing your soppy opening. At first you can’t formulate a response when he’s everywhere but the places you need him. So he removes all contact. “How bad do you need my fingers in this needy little pussy?” 
Definitely not a sub. Definitely not a fucking sub–wow, okay. 
“Badly,” grinding up into nothing, hips getting shoved back down. “I–I need you to fill me up. Please. I think about it so much. Your fingers feel so fucking good, Jeongguk. Made me cum so hard.” 
You don’t lie. He’s got long fingers and is definitely the biggest you’ve had, easily reaching spots others have left dormant. You’re glad to fluff his ego on that considering how mind blowing that first orgasm was. 
“I could tell,” he mutters slowly. “You came so fast,” lips closing around your clit again as you whine out. Jeongguk continues speaking. “Like a good girl” 
You can’t even respond to that, can’t even begin to fathom what praise from him does to you or how you must be gushing all over your sheets right now. Jeongguk’s middle finger inches in while his tongue and mouth focus directly on your swollen clit and you lose all ability to formulate a proper sentence. 
Flicking the sensitive bud back and forth at an animalistic pace while his finger slowly pushes in and out of you is where you fucking lose it. Head thrown back, thighs trembling, moaning out garbled versions of his name and breathy swears. 
This is it. Better than anything else you’ve had. This combination floods you with pleasure coiling in the pit of your stomach and your muscles going rigid. 
“Fuck yes–yes, just like that,” you whimper some more, using your grip on Jeongguk’s hair to tug him in further. Big mistake. “Don’t stop—don’t fucking–no, no! Why did you–”
Your leg falls off Jeongguk’s shoulder and flops onto the bed. His nose and lips are shiny but his expression is hard. “Sit  up.” He orders. Jaw set and clenched. 
Part of you really wants to disobey, be brat because that always results in a good time, but you need to come and you need his touch back on you as soon as possible. Meekly, your legs curl in and you slowly sit up, getting on your knees and pouting at him. 
Jeongguk takes the spot you were just laying down on, head meeting your pillow with a slight bounce. He motions for you to come closer then: “Face away from me.”
Oh.
Even better. 
“Gonna have this perfect pussy right in front of me while you suck me off, okay?”
Swinging your leg over, you nod desperately, arching your back a little and leaning down. You’re interrupted with a light smack on your ass, causing you to moan out way too loudly. It almost sounds like a cry of pain but it’s far from that. 
Jeongguk drops the act quickly. Gently reaching for you with soft hands on your hips.  “Noona, are you ok–”
“I’m fine,” you gasp. “Do it again.” You push your ass out some more, bent over his body, staring back at him with tears of desire. “Please Jeongguk.” 
He’s hesitant when he sits back down. You know he doesn’t want to hurt you but the way that the pain sizzled into pleasure coupled with how badly you want his hand print on you is far from hurt. It’s fucking warranted at this point. 
Jeongguk spanks you once more, on the same cheek, and you flop down all limp on top of him. His teeth sink into the flesh of your thigh, spanking the other cheek much harder than before. 
Arousal drips out of you and tracks down your skin. You feel needy and pathetic but in the best way possible. 
“I fucking love your ass so much,” nails dig into the already sore flesh as he praises you lowly. Jeongguk’s arms curl around your back, tugging you close to him as he continues what he was doing to you. Tongue flicking your clit at an insane pace. 
You can’t handle it. Even though his hard cock is inches away from you, you need a second to control yourself as the tingling sensation begins from your toes and starts creeping up. 
Someone must’ve told him this or maybe he’s watched a ton of porn. Guys never eat you out like this. They move their tongue around and moan, thinking it’s enough, and get annoyed when you haven’t come. Some blame it on you and say that you’re the problem when it’s the complete opposite. 
But Jeongguk breaches your entrance with two fingers in tandem with your tongue. Those long digits immediately find that g-spot and it’s fucking over, it’s done. You’re already there. You’re so wet and it’s echoing in your small studio apartment for the both of you to hear. The pleasure building up is rapid and way too fast.
After no action for days, you’re easy. The coil in your stomach gets tighter and tighter as Jeongguk’s fingers pound out of you and his tongue continues to play with that swollen bundle of nerves. 
“C-close, I’m close–I’m gonna–” you feel it, the ball unravels and your legs go out. “I’m cumming!” 
Faster than you’d like to admit. You start shaking, tears streaming down your face. Trying to muffle your noises on his thigh so you don’t get a fucking noise complaint. 
“Good girl. So fucking pretty when you come like that,” his fingers slow down but they don’t pull out just yet. After such a hard orgasm, you would usually need a break but the slow pace just gets you needier. “Can you take another one, gorgeous?” Jeongguk asks. 
Last time he touched you, you couldn't but now you want a second go. Besides, you want to return the favor too. 
“Yeah, I can.” 
With a slow pace and his mouth pressing timid little kisses on your wet thighs, Jeongguk leans back when you pull his boxers down and his length stands in front of you. Leaking and hard and so fucking big. 
Now that you’ve come once, you lose all inhibition. You press a kiss to the wet tip, rounding up saliva in your mouth to lick up all of the cloudy salty precum before sinking down and taking in just the tip. He’s thick so your jaw has to stretch a bit but you definitely don’t mind that. 
“Fuck,” Jeongguk whispers, licking another stripe to clean you up, gets you jolting and him laughing. 
He’s so atypically cocky, something you’ve never found attractive until now. It’s warranted cockiness. Ate you out like a fucking champ and has a dick big enough to make you question whether or not you can take it all. Yeah, Jeongguk can have a bit of an ego. 
But only a bit. 
You fold your thumb into your clenched fist and squeeze lightly to stop your gag reflex for a bit. Allowing you to take almost all of his length into your mouth. Jeongguk’s hips raise a bit to help you so it doesn’t pierce through the back of your throat completely but just until your nose meets the base of his length. 
“Mmh,” he moans, feeling his chest heave against your body. Jeongguk mumbles some more praise, calls you the most prettiest girl, leans forward to get his mouth back on you, and the dance begins again. 
Gently, Jeongguk fucks your mouth while you grind back into his. The pace isn’t fast and hectic like before nor is it any bit graceful but neither of you seem to care. 
Each thrust is awarded with a burst of precum and your thighs shake with every hit against your sensitive spot. The air gets hot and sticky, filled with the scent of sex and adrenaline. The sounds of your wet mouth and wet pussy along with Jeongguk’s whiny noises are noises you could hear for the rest of your life and never get bored of. 
This is all you want. Him and his hands and his mouth and just him. 
This sweet boy who held you so close and listened and makes you cum better than anyone else had. 
Even after the second time, as your arousal drenches his fingers so much they prune as you release and he shoots his load down your throat, it hits you like a punch in the face just how much Jeongguk has ruined you. 
Because after this, no other man will compare.
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babiesdreams · 1 year
Text
Advent Calendar
Day 2: Haechan and Yangyang +18
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Warnings: Sexual Content, edging, choking, hitting you, degradation, overstimulation, domination, raw, oral, spitting. Lots of teasing (again)
“Go slowly, let her feel your dick well” He whispers to the boy who starts slowing down his motions. Your whimps and cries drag Hyuck’s attention. “What is it baby? Is it too slow? Do you wanna cum already?” The way he teases you endlessly gets you on your nerves. “S-shut up” You manage to say. “Okay, Yangyang, go slower, this bitch doesn’t deserve pleasure yet” 
"I- don't think you should call her-" Yangyang's voice sounds so cute and innocent that makes you feel even more nervous than you already were. "Dude You need to change that attitude" Haechan starts with his talk and you just roll your eyes back, tired of his shit.
"I'll come back to you" he says pointing at you. "You said she likes rough shit. You need to change attitude. Leave the cute and disgusting stuff for aftercare. During sex you need to be a beast" His voice is just so irritating to you.
"Babe don't listen to him. It's not like that. I just want you to call me bitch and whore and degrade me, maybe even choke me..." You stop realising is quite a lot for a vanilla boy.
"You just gotta treat her like a bitch" Haechan spits out. "That's offensive" You instantly reply. "You like being called bitch" He defends himself. "I like it when he calls me bitch. Not you" You yell at him.
"Okay this is getting way out of point" Yangyang says walking away from the bed. "Why don't you try and make some stuff and I watch?" You look at him with wide open eyes. "If it's okay with you of course"
"If you think it's gonna be helpful..." You say and you turn to look at Donghyuk's smirk. "Okay then" Yangyang says, sitting on the couch right next to the bed, watching you both. "Can you just give me a chance? Like a real chance." Haechan says "Fine" you say with a sarcastic smile.
His hands instantly lay around your neck, surprising you with the pressure he actually puts against it. "Now you're gonna obey me like the fucking pathetic bitch you are" You gasp at the sudden change in his tone.
"Now you don't need to speak. Do you like people spitting on you?" The question is so sudden you blush instantly. "she does" Yangyang answers. "Rule number one: She draws her limits. Not you" he sounds so professional you kinda feel flustered. "Do you like it or not?" You nod shyly.
"Okay we're getting somewhere. Is it okay if I do it?" He asks and you nod. "Okay the rest are gonna go fast so you better listen. I've heard you like these but I want your full consent on each one of them okay?" You nod again. "If you don't want some of this you just hit my arm okay?" You nod and he starts listing your kinks.
Your blush keeps growing as you feel fully exposed. "Edging, choking, hitting you, degrading, overstimulation, domination, raw... Looks like we really have a filthy slut in front of us don't we" At this point your body is so hot that you're concerned to burn the boy's hand through your neck.
"Let's begin then" He looks right into your eyes and just shouts "Open your mouth" You feel so weak under his orders that you just need to obey his orders. He spits right into your mouth. His finger carress the edges of your lips getting the spit that fell out of you mouth right into it. "Swallow like the whore you are."
You do as he says. "Now I'm gonna get you to talk. Can you do that stupid little slut?" You nod. "Talk" He yells "Yes" you say almost as a whisper. "Any thoughts you wanna share?" He asks and his hand loosens up a bit, letting you talk a little louder.
"Hit me" you whisper "I can't hear you" he says. "Hit me" You say louder. "Still can't hear you" You know he's teasing you by the look on his face but, at this point you're even enjoying it.
"Hit me!" You yell and you can feel Yangyang staring at you. Haechan's hand hits your face and you look back to him defying his dominance. "Harder" You say and you can just guess his next words. "Can't hear you" He repeats with a smirk.
"Harder" You say and before you even finish, his hand hits you harder. You can already feel tears forming on your eyes. Gosh you love that feeling. "You see how needy she fucking is?" Donghyuck asks Yangyang who's just been sitting there jerking off at your performance.
It's clearly his cue to try degrading you and he surprisingly does. "She's such a needy bitch" He says and you smile. It's simple but it's definetely something.
"What should I do to her?" He asks and you instantly know it's his annoyingly smart way to ask him what his limits are. "Finger her until she cries." Those words coming out of your boyfriend's mouth makes you feel a certain way that you're really not used to feel.
His fingers start playing with your clit, drawing circles around it. Your whole body reacts to his touch. You feel your legs shaking out of your control. His hand grabs your neck aggressively and he looks into your eyes as he asks "Can I kiss you?" Your cheeks are flaming hot and you can just guess the color of them is bright pink.
You nod as an answer and close your eyes waiting for the feeling of his soft lips collapsing against yours. It actually feels better than what you expected it to feel, but it doesn't last forever. You grow needy to the feeling of his lips against yours as his fingers enter your vagina fastly.
"Fuck you're so fucking wet, you needy bitch. Are you all this wet just because of me?" You nod and he laughs softly. "No, you gotta say it. Say you're a needy bitch for me will you?"
"I-I'm" You try to speak but his movements kind of make it impossible. "Come on you can do it" He encourages you.
"I'm a n-needy sl- fuck a needy slut for you" his fingers curl and you just feel your orgasm growing inside of you. "Nah not yet" He says pulling his fingers out of you. Tears fall down your eyes all the way to your chin. You roll back your eyes. "Is that attitude or are you just so fucking needy that you can't control yourself?"
"Both" you whisper with a smile and he hits your face hard. "That's my fucking slut" my it somehow feels so weird but yet so good. "What should we do with her?" He asks Yangyang who is as hot and needy as you.
"Can I choke her now?" He asks kindly, eventhough he seems ready to jump right on top of you. You see haechan nodding at him and he walks to the bed. He sits on your stomach, resting his weight on his knees. His hands are softer but his grip feels rougher.
"Like this" says Donhyuck correcting his grip. Now it feels tighter but it hurts less. "Gosh you're such a filthy slut" Yangyang says and you smile at him "just for you baby" you reply and he answers with a soft hit on your cheek.
"Fuck her already" Haechan says, sitting next to you. The boy obeys his orders and starts thrusting you slowly. You can feel how Donghyuck gets up, ready to step out of the room, but you grab his hand.
"Stay" you whisper and he smiles. "Yeah, stay" Yangyang confirms making the boy step right back into your bed. "Turn around" Haechan orders and you just do as you're told to. "Now you grab his neck and fuck her harder" You moan loudly to the feeling of the boy's thrusts.
"You like that huh?" His words just get you all worked out. "Well you're not cumming until I allow you to. Is that clear?" You nod and he smirks. "You can just go ahead and cum inside. Treat her like the cum dumpster she is" His words are just getting you out of it. You moan as soon as you feel the hot cum running through your insides.
There's an intense slow second that lets you enjoy the fact that Yangyang fucked you in such a rough way while you hear him say "Fuck" with a deep needy voice.
"Get on your knees" Hyuck says just as Yangyang pulls out of you. The boy's cum drips down to the floor. "Suck it" He simply orders putting his dick into your mouth.
You start working it up the best way you possibly can. You deep throat him and you suck it on different speeds to make sure he knows how edging feels like. It gets to a point where he controls your head like a fucking toy.
He ends up cumming in your mouth and asking you to swallow it all, so you do. "I think we're finished right?" He says with a big smile. Your tears have made your make up such a mess that you could just picture how desperate you looked. Your hair has been a mess for a minute and you just don't have the energy to get angry.
You just whimp in protest. "Do you have something to say?" Hyuck asks you while his hands softly lift your face to look at him. You're now completely sit down and he's on your knees so that his face is closer to yours.
"I need it" You cry out and his hands clean your tears out of your face. "You need what?" He asks innocently. "I need to cum" You keep begging as you cry out. "Okay" He says before his lips meet yours in a soft and heated kiss.
He grabs you in his arms and he puts you down on your bed. His hands tickle you as they travel your body. As soon as they touch your clit your whole body react with a wave of pleasure. You moan softly. Two of his fingers get inside of you and they curl instantly hitting your g-spot.
"F-fuck" you manage to moan out. His left hand lift your face, making you look at him. "You're gonna cum for me right?" he asks and you just nod. You feel other hand carressing your hair. "Good girl" Yangyang says.
Hyuck's hands start moving faster and your eyes go blank as you feel the orgasm brushing your whole body. Your moans are low yet you feel like they're the loudest you can get out at the moment.
It lasts a good minute before your body calms down. "So this was lesson one right?" You whisper while you let out a deep breath. They both laugh and you feel their kisses all over your body.
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universitypenguin · 1 year
Text
The Princess & the Lawyer - Part IX
Summary: Princess has a birthday! Lloyd takes her to dinner, but later he finds himself in a tight spot with Mr. Tao
Word Count: 4,966
Author’s Note: I'd like everyone to know I’m working on your asks. I appreciate everyone who’s written to me about this project. Recently, I’ve been prioritizing this chapter above everything else. Now that it’s finished, I can pay attention to other items on my to do list.
Warnings: descriptions of graphic violence, torture, fighting, blackmail, references to spying and intelligence gathering missions, implied smut and other 18+ content. No minors.
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The Princess & the Lawyer Part IX
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lloyd stood in front of the mirror, a towel slung low around his hips, and a comb in hand. He was pretending to use it as a guide to trim his mustache. In reality, his focus was on the hotel room door. The clock had ticked past five-fifteen and his patience was running thin. He didn’t have much to spare in the patience department under the best circumstances. Since he was giddy with excitement, it was even thinner than usual. 
A knock sounded. 
Lloyd cleared his throat. “Princess? I’m not dressed. Would you get that?” 
“Sure.”
The bedframe creaked, and the duvet rustled as you got up. Lloyd stepped back from the mirror for a better view as you opened the hotel room door. 
“I have a delivery for Y/N.” 
You stared at the garment bags, then the porter. “But I didn’t order anything…”
“Well, someone did.” He handed over the package. 
You stared at the garment bags in your arms, baffled. “Lloyd? Did you order something?” 
“Hmmm? What is it?” 
He hid a grin as you laid the garment bags on the bed and opened the zippers. In the first was a men’s suit with a white dinner jacket. The other held a satin dress, champagne colored, with hand painted flowers in purple and gold. 
You stroked the fabric. “Wow. This is beautiful.” 
“I expected it to arrive before five,” Lloyd said. 
“What’s it for?” 
“It’s for tonight. Go ahead, try it on. I had the store buyer compare measurements with the dresses I found in your luggage, so it should fit.” 
“You went through my clothes?”
Lloyd ignored the question and held the dress up to you. He nodded.
“I like it. Come on, let’s see it.” 
You obliged, peeling off your yoga pants and the oversized shirt you’d stolen from his laundry pile. He grinned when the gown fit perfectly. 
“What do you think?” you asked. 
“It’s beautiful, but what’s it for? Are we going somewhere?” 
Lloyd searched the bag for the rest of his purchase and found a velvet bag in the back pocket.
“The buyer picked your shoes. I told her the kinds of heels I’d seen you in before and said whatever she chose should be comfortable enough to walk in. The shoe collection was beyond my comprehension.” 
You opened the velvet bag and withdrew a pair of neutral sandals in a shade that nearly matched your skin tone. They were a simple two strap design with a gold buckle on the ankle strap.
“They’re beautiful. But I’m still confused what it’s for,” you said. 
“We’re celebrating.” 
“Celebrating what?”
Lloyd raised an eyebrow. “Are you messing with me?”
“Uh…No?”
“What’s today?”
“Wednesday.”
“The date, Princess? Come on.”
“I’m not sure.”
“It’s your birthday!”
He laughed when you scrambled for your phone. 
“Shit, I forgot. Between everything going on and - “
Your words abruptly cut off as you groaned, and covered your face. 
“After losing my virginity the birthday thing wasn’t such an issue, so it slipped my mind.” 
Lloyd smirked. “Glad I could take the pressure off, sweetheart. Now get ready. We have a reservation to make.” 
You were impressed with the private dinner he’d arranged for the two of you. It was an underground restaurant that operated in a different city every month. For one weekend only, it was being hosted in the penthouse of a local entrepreneur. 
He had another surprise in store for you, which was why he asked the driver to use the underground entrance. If you saw the building, you might guess what his plans were. 
“Where are all the other guests?” you asked, after the maître d’ had seated you on the balcony.
“There are only four tables. The chef’s table is in the kitchen, there’s a group of eight in the dining room, another couple has the table by the pool, and us.” 
The waiter arrived promptly. Lloyd settled back and watched as you bantered with the young server. He enjoyed watching you relaxed and buzzing with delight. As the meal progressed, and the waiter began openly flirting with you, he was amused that he felt no jealousy. Who could resist your charm? When you were enthusiastic about something, the authenticity and warmth shone through, and it made you irresistible. When you took an interest in someone, your sincerity was impossible to ignore. Lloyd couldn’t blame the kid. He loved basking in your attention and frequently soaked up every morsel of it that you could give. Sharing the spotlight for an hour was no inconvenience. You were enjoying the banter, and he was enjoying watching your enjoyment. 
“I need you to eat the rest of my steak so I have room for dessert.”
Lloyd snorted. “This is why you ate all the vegetables, isn’t it?”
“You would have turned up your nose at vegetables,” you said, as you pushed the remnants of your steak onto his plate. “By the way, they were delicious.” 
“That’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.” 
He happily ate your steak while you were served a decadent looking slice of chocolate cake. You lingered over the desert and despite the late hour, Lloyd ordered a cup of coffee. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and nuzzled your cheek.
“Have I told you that you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen?” 
You giggled and turned into his arms. “No need to charm me. I’m a sure thing tonight.” 
Then you elbowed him. 
“Keep your hands to yourself, lover boy. I’m on a date with this cake.” 
“I feel rejected,” Lloyd said. 
He was being honest in saying you were the most beautiful thing he’d seen. You drew him like a flame drew a moth. He felt as if he were circling around you, trying to get closer and closer, but hindered by an instinct for self preservation. Even with that, he couldn’t deny the powerful attraction that pulled you towards him.
He was in love with you. 
The thought didn’t strike him. It simply unveiled itself without dramatics. Like a camera lens suddenly able to focus in the right lighting, the change of scenery tonight had shown him what he’d already known was there. The real shock was his reaction. He wasn’t terrified. What was there to be afraid of? Giving up his autonomy? Letting you into his heart? Those ships had sailed a long time ago. 
Lloyd was grappling with the revelation, when a flash of movement in the opposite building caught his eye. A chill went down his spine. The position was a perfect sniper’s nest. He knew he had a paranoid streak, but it was too dangerous to remain exposed when someone was out there. 
“Are you ready for your birthday present?” Lloyd asked. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
In the elevator, you tottered on your heels and clutched his shoulder for balance. He slipped a supporting arm around your waist. 
“Three glasses of wine is more than your limit, Princess.” 
You sighed and pressed yourself against him.
A smile tugged at his mouth. He loved how assured your movements were as you curled yourself around him like a cat. Your hands darted under his dinner jacket as you nuzzled the open collar of his shirt. 
“That third glass really loosened me up,” you purred. 
His breath caught as you ran your tongue over his Adam’s apple. 
“There are cameras in here.”
“And?” 
Lloyd groaned. “Fuck.”
“You’re so tense. I could fix that,” you murmured. 
He knew you could. 
After his head cleared from the phenomenal blow job you’d given him yesterday, logic had kicked in. Giving head like that wasn’t a natural skill. Even accounting for variables, such as your confidence, sensuality, and trust in him, the prowess you’d shown was abnormal. You had practice. The knowledge was driving him crazy. 
Because he’d never been in a serious relationship, Lloyd had never asked a woman the details of her sexual history before. Being a virgin and being inexperienced were two different things. Lloyd wasn’t even sure the questions he wanted to ask were acceptable in this situation. Thanks to his deduction about the source of your skills, he wanted names. Locations. Times. Then, he wanted addresses… 
“What are you thinking about, baby?” 
Your breath teased his ear and blood heated at the floral scent of your perfume as you kissed his neck. 
“I’m thinking that if I’d known what that mouth of yours was capable of, I would’ve taken you to bed the moment we met.” 
“Damn. That’s…hot.”
The elevator car stopped, and the doors opened. A family of tourists with an incredible amount of luggage waited in the foyer. Lloyd extracted himself from your arms. The white haired grandmother smirked, her eyes twinkling at the picture you must have made.
“Where are we?”
Lloyd took your hand and led you down the hallway. At the end of it there was a large, brightly lit room. You stopped short, eyes widening, as a smile blossomed on your face. 
“No way! You must be out of your mind,” you said, laughing. 
“Wait until you see your birthday present,” Lloyd said. “Then you’ll know I’m out of my mind.”
He walked you over to the casino cage and handed the clerk his passport. She reached under the desk and passed him a briefcase. 
“Enjoy your night, Mr. Hansen.” 
“Thank you, we will.” 
You stared up at him. “You’re encouraging me to gamble? Did you hit your head? Where’s the real Lloyd Hansen?” 
“For the record, I consider gambling an activity for people who are bad at math.”
“I am bad at math,” you said.
“I’ve noticed.” 
He set the briefcase down on an empty table and opened it. 
“Happy Birthday, Princess. I’m bankrolling you tonight. Any poker game you want a seat at, I’ll buy it. This is all yours.” 
You gasped. “Are you joking? Because this is like… twenty thousand dollars?”
“Forty.”
“Lloyd! I’m drunk! And my track record with poker is iffy.”
“You had a winning streak in Vegas-”
“Followed by a massive losing streak!” 
“You’ve been practicing. Zach says you’re getting good, and he’s hard to impress. So, guess what? I decided you should have at least one night to cut loose and enjoy yourself, guilt free.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
You made him take half the money. Lloyd graciously accepted, since he realized the amount he’d given you was a bit too rich for your blood. Here in Singapore forty thousand wasn’t much. Except to you, of course. 
He watched the first few hands of the poker game before heading over to a blackjack table. This was his game of choice. With enough practice, counting cards was easy. However, practice cost a lot of money when you were learning. He’d kept a spreadsheet of his wins and losses that went back twenty years. Thanks to excellent record keeping he knew how deep he was in the hole, down to the penny.
His net loss was currently at $5,428.32. 
He might finally break even tonight. Lloyd knew he was being irrational and had to laugh at his impulse. Here he was, decades later, still caring about the gambling losses of a younger, dumber, version of himself. It might’ve taken him a long time to learn how to get away with cheating, but he was determined to at least make the skill pay for itself. 
An hour later he’d reduced the net loss by a couple thousand. He glanced over to your poker game and saw your pile of chips had grown considerably. You were so absorbed by the game that you didn’t even glance in his direction.
Suddenly, his skin prickled with awareness. Lloyd felt the sensation of being watched. He cashed out of the game at the next opportunity. As he walked to your table, a flash of gray caught his eye. 
Did Tao own a suit in any other color? It wasn’t helping him blend anymore. Then again, that was probably why he was sticking with it. 
Tao approached your table. He stopped right behind your seat and met Lloyd’s gaze. With a subtle jerk of his head, he indicated the hall leading to the men’s room. 
Lloyd watched the agent disappear down the hallway. He knew a challenge when he saw one and sensed an urgency in Tao’s manner that hadn’t been there before. Lloyd detoured to the bar, where he ordered a gin and tonic. The bartender’s tools were arranged on the counter; among them was a wicked looking ice pick. When he turned his back, Lloyd snagged it. He tucked it up his sleeve, downed his drink in one swallow, and headed for the dark hallway. 
There were two details in this situation that worked in Lloyd’s favor. First, he’d been in this casino several times before and that meant he knew the layout. Second, the only well lit area of the hotel was its casino. Because Mr. Tao - aka, Eli Pruitt, desk jockey for the CIA - had limited experience, he would follow a textbook approach. Lloyd knew he was walking into an ambush. 
As he pushed open the door to the men’s room, he glimpsed Eli’s shadow behind him. What an amateur. 
In the men’s room, a long, narrow antechamber served as a lounge. There were plush armchairs, fizzy water, and complimentary hot towels. At the far end of the room, you made a right turn into a short hallway that led to the lavatory. 
Inside of that short, very dark hallway, was an alcove. It was so well disguised Lloyd had missed it until his second visit to this hotel. As expected, Tao walked right past his hiding spot without batting an eyelash. 
Lloyd waited a few seconds and stepped around the corner. He moved silently. When Tao realized he wasn’t alone, he whirled to face him. 
“What do you want?” Lloyd asked. 
“Singapore is interested -”
“Cut the bullshit, Eli.”
Shock made the agent’s nostrils flare. Lloyd smirked.
“Yeah. I know your name, Eli Pruitt. Newport Beach High School, class of 2007, then on to USC for a poly sci degree, recruited straight to the agency. No extensive field training - just enough that you don’t always sit behind a desk.”  
“Who told you that?” 
“Relax. Your station doesn’t have a mole. I can smell the CIA on you. Now, answer the question. What do you want?”
Eli squared his shoulders.
“China placed an asset inside of Bishop & Howard. We need your help to unmask him.” 
Lloyd chuckled. “He must be bored. There’s not much to spy on at B&H.” 
“You’d be surprised. We thought it was you until today. The spy sent a manual data transfer from a server in DC to his bosses in Beijing. I’ve been watching your every move, so we know it isn’t you.” 
“And now that I’m in the clear, you think I’ll become your eyes and ears in the firm.”
“That’s our proposal,” Eli said. 
“No.”  
“Excuse me?” 
Lloyd sneered. “I don’t do intelligence work anymore. If you want to poke around in the firm, be my guest. But I want nothing to do with it.” 
Eli’s eyes narrowed. “If that’s your position, we’re going to have an issue.” 
“Oh, no! An issue?! Do tell. What kind of issue?” 
Malice flashed across Eli’s face. The sight made the hair on Lloyd's neck stand up. He recognized that expression. He’d worn it frequently in his former life, usually right before eviscerating an unsuspecting schmuck.  
“Your co-worker, Miss Y/L/N, plans to attend law school. It’d be a shame if they automatically rejected her application upon submission. When the federal government puts a red flag on your name, that can happen. It also makes international traveling an absolute nightmare… you wouldn’t know anything about that, of course.” 
Lloyd’s jaw flexed. “Are you blackmailing me?”
“Nope. Your involvement is irrelevant. Mistakes are made, and sometimes files get flagged by accident because of human error. It’s just an unfortunate reality. But it’s too bad someone couldn’t have prevented such a consequential incident for Miss Y/L/N, isn’t it?” 
Rage bubbled in his chest as Eli smirked. 
“Well, life is full of disappointments. She’ll recover.” 
The rage boiled over. Eli moved toward the exit and was taken off guard when Lloyd struck as fast as a cobra. He landed a right jab on the man’s cheekbone, grabbed him around the chest, and flung him into the row of sinks. Before he could recover, Lloyd had hauled him to his feet and swung him around to face the mirror. Holding Eli like a human shield, he shoved the tip of the bartender’s ice pick into his throat. 
“It would be a shame if no one prevented such a tragedy. Tell me, who authorized that plan? Ruining someone else’s future to identify a poorly positioned mole? Give me the name of the asshole running your station. Who’s your boss?” 
Eli gasped, wincing as Lloyd pressed the blade into his jugular.
“Name.” 
“Kevin Whyms!” 
Lloyd’s grip eased. “Whyms?” 
“Yeah.” 
Eli was telling the truth. Lloyd laughed. 
“You have balls… for a desk agent.” 
He slammed Eli’s face into the porcelain sink. Blood spewed from his nose and mouth. Lloyd did it one more time for good measure, then braced his forearm across Eli’s back to pin him down. He adjusted his grip and stabbed the ice pick behind the ear, through the mastoid and into the lobe. Eli screamed. Lloyd covered his mouth.
The ice pick wasn’t sharp enough. He dropped it into the sink and dug the Swiss Army Knife he always carried out of his pocket. It was all the airlines allowed you to pack these days, but it was very sharp. He pinned the struggling man to the sink and used the little blade to finish his work. When he was two-thirds of the way finished Lloyd grabbed the ear and ripped, pulling down and back. Eli screamed. Lloyd tossed the detached ear into the sink in front of his face. 
“I’m going to tell you this once. No one gets away with threatening the people I care about. The Chinese spy is your problem. I want you to run back to Kevin and tell him I said so. And good luck explaining why I sliced off your ear.”
Eli was still dazed, but Lloyd read the confusion in his eyes.
“I know Kevin Whyms. We went through SERE school together. You get to know a guy in that kind of training. That’s why I’m absolutely sure Kevin didn’t approve of your blackmail scheme. He’s as straight as an arrow. Trust me, I tried to bribe him once.” 
Lloyd wiped his knife off on the back of Eli’s jacket and stalked into the lounge. He checked his reflection and stripped off the bloodstained white dinner jacket. He turned it inside out to hide the red blotches and draped it over his arm.
Sauntering through the casino as if he didn’t have a care in the world, Lloyd made his way back to the bar. He dropped the bartender’s ice pick into a bus boy’s tray and headed toward a table with a view of your poker game. 
The table was occupied by a man. When Lloyd recognized him, the blood drained from his face. 
“What are you doing here?”
“So, that’s how it is. No, ‘Hello, Court. Nice to see you again. How’ve you been since I tried to kill you eight years ago?’” 
“Seven years,” Lloyd corrected. 
Courtland Gentry shrugged. 
“Seven, eight. Time flies when you’re having fun.” 
“What do you want, Six?”
“I’m hunting a Chinese spy, who until this afternoon, I thought was you. A little birdie told me you turned down the CIA’s offer, so I decided I’d make you a better one.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
You were having such a good time that you didn’t notice the phone call. 
There was no room for distractions when playing high stakes poker. It wasn’t until two hours later when you were cashing out your chips, that you checked the log to see who’d been calling.
Immediately, you tried them back. It went straight to voicemail. 
Son of a bitch. 
You were in the middle of cursing your bad luck when another call lit up your screen. Your heart leapt, then sank. The incoming call wasn’t from the unsaved number, it was from a contact.
“Hello, Westin.”
“Good evening, Y/N.” Your supervisor’s voice was as smooth as silk, but as pleasant as his tone was, your neck turned stiff. “I apologize for calling so late.” 
He sounded anything but sorry. 
“What can I do for you?” 
“There’s an issue with your time card,” Westin said. 
“Alright. What is it?” 
“Did you put in your hours on the day you traveled?”
“Yes.”
“Well, those aren’t supposed to be paid hours.”
Your eyebrows raised. “Really?”
“Yes, I’ll need your permission to make an edit.” 
“No.” The word was out of your mouth before he’d even finished his sentence. 
“Excuse me?” Westin’s voice went up and octave in pitch. 
Usually, this was where you cringed and dropped the subject. You just couldn’t tolerate speaking to Westin Tafferty longer than was absolutely necessary. He had the most unpleasant voice when he was upset. The sound was like a shrill whistle, and it hurt your ears. The problem wasn’t that you couldn’t stand up to your supervisor. It was that your eardrums demanded you spend the least time possible damaging them by having a conversation with him. 
“I’ll review the HR policy in the morning and contact a representative. Once I’ve gone over the details with them, you and I can meet with a representative. Having a third party involved will make sure this is resolved appropriately.” 
You weren't sure why you’d picked this hill to die on, but it was nice to hear Westin backpedaling. He insisted there was no need for HR involvement and you countered every argument he put forward with surprising efficiency. Rather than fall for his distractions, you turned the conversation to your availability and suggested possible times you could both meet with HR next week. By the time you hung up, you were grinning. It was fun to have Westin on the ropes. His shrill voice and your ringing ears aside, that had been fun.
The annoyance of the missed call was lodged under your skin, but there was nothing to be done about it tonight. 
On the bright side, you’d cashed out a six thousand dollar profit from the game. The check for your winnings was in your purse. A separate check for the amount Lloyd had loaned you was beside it. He would argue, but you couldn’t take his money. It made you feel icky. Since you’d made a considerable profit, you knew he’d fold without too much trouble. 
You threw your shoulders back and set aside thoughts of missed calls, annoying supervisors, and your stalker. It wasn’t terribly hard to brush off Aiden’s stalking. Not while you were on another continent with Lloyd close by. He was the pinnacle of security blankets. The dread curling in your stomach had more to do with the fact that you were going home tomorrow than with any of the problems currently on your plate. 
The last place you’d seen Lloyd was at the casino’s bar. When you scanned the area, there was no Lloyd in sight. 
“What can I get for you, miss?”
“I’ll take a martini, please. By the way, have you seen a tall, dark haired man with a mustache? He’s wearing a white dinner jacket.” 
The bartender shook her head. “No, not tonight.” 
You took your martini and climbed off the barstool, nearly colliding with another patron when you turned around. Half of your drink splashed on the floor. Fortunately, none of it landed on the blond man’s suit.
“I’m so sorry,” you gasped. 
“It’s alright. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” 
You tilted your head back to meet the tall man’s gaze. He had warm blue eyes, which scanned you from head to toe. The pursual was slow and conducted with a level of attention that made you think he could describe your exact measurements if someone asked him to. His intentness didn’t carry a sexual vibe. If anything, his alertness reminded you of Zach and Lloyd. 
“I made you spill your drink. Can I buy you another?”
Okay… maybe your radar was totally off. Was this a pick up, or was he just being nice? 
If it was a pick up attempt, that was pretty cool. You rarely had guys hit on you in the wild. Having a man sexy enough to star in a Bond film approach you was kind of thrilling. 
Lloyd appeared out of nowhere, suddenly by your side.
“Princess, are you ready to go?” 
“Uh…” 
The stranger interjected. “She hasn’t finished her drink.” 
Lloyd snarled at him. This seemed to amuse the blond man, who winked at you. For a split second, his eyes dipped to the low neckline of your dress, then back to your face. His eyes were dancing with mischief. You caught his sly look at Lloyd - so quick you almost missed it - and the spark of satisfaction at whatever he saw there. 
This guy must get his kicks by risking his life. 
“Gentry, why don’t you get lost?” Lloyd growled. 
“No harm meant, pal. I’m gone.” 
Lloyd stared daggers into the stranger’s back as he walked away. Only when he was out of sight did he take a full breath. You watched him with interest, noting the lines of stress bracketing his mouth. 
“Are you okay?” you asked.
“I’m fine. Let’s go cash out your chips.” 
“I already did.” 
He swept you under his arm, close to his body. “Good. Our car is waiting out front.” 
You had to lengthen your stride to keep up with him as he all but dragged you toward the exit. Ordinarily, you’d be pissed at his behavior, but there was a tension about him that worried you. 
“Lloyd? What’s wrong?” 
“Not here. I promise I’ll tell you about it, but not here.” 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
“You cut off the CIA agent’s ear!” 
“As a warning.” 
“You can’t cut off people’s ears!” 
Lloyd blinked. “Is this a fight? Are we having a fight?”
You groaned. “I think I’m in shock.”
He was concerned by the goosebumps on your arms and the dazed look in your eyes. Perhaps he shouldn’t have told you about his altercation with Eli in so much detail. It was hard to know how much to share, or to edit out of the narrative, when he didn’t have the natural revulsion to blood and violence that other people did. You wrapped your arms around yourself and rocked back and forth on the edge of the bed. 
After sweeping the hotel suite for bugs, Lloyd had explained everything that had happened. There were only a few details he’d left out, and those were strictly for your safety. Unfortunately, most of your reaction was probably from seeing his blood stained white dinner jacket. He had rinsed it off in the shower and soaked it in a healthy amount of bleach to cover up the evidence. 
“He threatened you. I reacted accordingly.”
Your lips compressed. “There were no other solutions? You know Eli’s boss. Couldn’t you just have called him?” 
“Cutting off Eli’s ear sends a message. It wasn’t about him, it was about getting a message across to the whole agency. In such a way that they can’t ignore it or forget. Everyone in the intelligence community will know by tomorrow morning, if not sooner, that there’s a price to pay for cornering me in a bathroom.” 
You considered that and nodded, but tucked your chin closer to your chest. 
“Word of what I did to him will spread and it’ll prevent another situation like tonight from happening again. I have to put out a clear deterrent to all the Eli Pruitts of the world to protect the people I care about.” 
To protect you. It hung in the air unsaid, but you knew what he meant. 
Lloyd sighed. “I’m sorry. This isn’t how I wanted tonight to end.” 
“What happened tonight isn’t your fault. I don’t think that at all. But I’m worried about you and how serious the fallout will be.” 
He absorbed that thought and felt his shoulder muscles knot up. 
“Would you feel safer if we switched hotels?”
“I’m not worried about myself. Also, why was Court Gentry there? What did he want?”
Lloyd's mouth went dry. He knew he had to lie. Because among the details he’d chosen to leave out of the story, one of them was very important. The Chinese spy in the firm. He couldn’t tell you about the mole because it would endanger your life.
“Gentry was after the same thing as Tao. Both of them wanted my help to gain sensitive information. I can’t tell you more than that.” 
You rubbed your hands over your thighs. “Okay. I understand. I’m sorry. I know to you, it probably seems like I’m overreacting-” 
Lloyd stepped forward and knelt down, placing his hands on top of yours. They were as cold as ice against his. You shivered, and he opened his arms at the same moment you flung yourself into them. He gathered you close and rocked back and forth. You shuddered. He squeezed you tighter, murmuring reassurances that rolled off his tongue with shocking ease. 
“It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here, Princess. I’ve got you.”
He felt the tiny little shivers rippling through you as you plastered yourself as close to him as possible. What happened tonight had scared you. He had scared you, and that was unacceptable. Lloyd made a split second decision. 
“I’m changing our tickets. We’re going home tonight.” 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Next - Part X
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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svteclipwze · 12 days
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𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓢𝓿𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓹𝔀𝔃𝓮 .ೃ࿐
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this blog contains, hard/mean behaviors, angst, rapes, suicides, violence, mature content, cursing, drugs/alcohol, blood,kidnapping, torture, smuts and so on ( I will give fluffs as well) which may be uncomfortable for some peoples then this blog is ain't for you. And minors are strictly prohibited from this blog.
𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪REQUEST ARE OPEN for all members except (seungkwan, woozi ) i don't know why but i can't write 18+ contain on them i see them as my brothers lol otherwise you can send me !!! I will work on them as well!! and inbox is always open for chats.
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jasminexox5 · 1 year
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Break up with your girlfriend
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Mingyu: come around the back, the door is open. Just knock and I will come.
Your heart jumped at him texting you. Mingyu was with another woman but he never had any feelings for her anymore, that’s when this started. He texted you the minute she was out of that drive way and away on her work trip. Little does he know that you have loved him ever since you met six years ago. It pained you to see him with another woman and to hear him talk about them to you. Now was your chance.
Grabbing your bag at the door and slipping on your shoes go head out the door as quickly as you can. Your keys almost slip out of your hand when you grab them in such a rush to get out the door. The cold of the night hits you as soon as you leave the warmth of your house. The sky leaked pink and orange, all the colours blending into each other.
Starting up your car while putting on your seat belt wanting to get away as fast as you can to see Mingyu, wanting to spend all the time with him as you can. Not even caring that driving in sliders is dangerous. Good thing he is only five minutes away from you, an easy commute in times like this. The neighbourhood roads were quiet making the trip quicker. 
Pulling into his drive away signalling that you are here. You can see a figure pass by in the window that overlooks the front garden. Sitting there in the car until your phone buzzed in the centre console next beside you. 
Mingyu: The front door is open for you…
Your heart jumped at the text. You knew it was risky coming in the front door with everyone to see what the both of you are up to, especially with the people living around him. Taking the keys out of the car and then lifting your phone as you ran into the house reducing the risk of people seeing you. 
“I’m here!!!”
Announcing your arrival to him letting it echo through the house. Leaving your shoes at the door before you went into the living room to find Mingyu sitting there with a bottle of wine and two glasses ready. His sleeveless shirt exposing his swollen arms. The shirt clinging to his strong chest every time he moved, watching as his muscles flexed. 
He saw you looking at his arms when he leaned forward collecting the bottle of wine. The smirk on his face when he noticed you nearly drooling at the sight of him. 
“take a seat darling…”
Your heart swells at the nickname he chose for you, he knows how much that name affects you. His arms wide open welcoming you in his embrace. Handing you a glass to pour into for you, none of you talked but the silence was comfortable between both of you. Just exchanging glances once in a while. 
Mingyu sat back and placed his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his side holding you close. He was so warm, you could feel his body heat against you. You leaned against his muscular chest hearing his heartbeat quicken by the minute.
Listening to the background noise of the TV while he ran his hands through your hair. Letting out a content sigh as you relaxed into his touch. His large hand runs through every strand of your hair making sure he moves all your hair away from your face.
“So pretty tonight my angel” 
The name is the only thing he calls you, the pet name that makes you fall for him even more than you already have. He was cupid in disguise. Mingyu always had his way with words, knowing what has the most effect on you and using it to his advantage. 
The tensions in the room were high as the night went on and the skies got darker, the only light source being the tv that was illuminating the room. Sexual tension that thick it could have been cut with a knife. As you put your glass back down on the coffee table you felt his bulge rub against you. Wondering how long he has been hard and he hasn't said anything to you. 
Mingyu was holding back a groan from you. His large hands gripping at your waist making sure you don’t fall off his lap. You took this as the green light for things to get messy. Sitting on his lap facing him inches away from his thick lips. The strong aroma of the cologne he was wearing that you could still smell for hours. 
Gripping onto his biceps for leverage the closer you got to him. His tongue poked out from between his lips, licking them and still tasting the last drops of wine. His warmth breath fanning over your face. Heating your heart beating in your ears. 
Moving closer….
Closer…. 
Closer…
It felt like fireworks were going off around you when you kissed him for the first time. It has been months since the last time you got together. Spending nights dreaming of being with Mingyu with her being there. She was nowhere to be seen in these dreams. You hated her with a passion because she stole Mingyu from you. All of your lives were peaceful before she came into both of your lives and ruined them in seconds. 
Slowly kissing him just wanting to take it all in because you never have time to be with him now. She was always home and she never even liked you breathing the same air as him. His plush lips against yours moulded together like they were made for eachother. Your arms wrapping around his neck interlocking them to not let him free from your hold.
Your hands move up from the back of his neck to his hair, locking your fingers in his long hair. Tugging on his hair as you started to grind your hips down on his making him moan. You just smirked and kept moving your hips slowly as the kiss got deeper.
“Can I keep going??”
You nod your head yes and then feel his warm hands up the small of your back playing with the fabric of your shirt. Lifting it up to see that you aren’t wearing a bra. His eyes go wide like a kid in a candy shop. He was that happy. Mingyu’s hands were big enough to hold your breast fully in his hands with no struggle. 
His fingers rolling your nipple watching you squirm all from a little stimulation. Your head was thrown back and you could feel your hair drape down your back. The length of your hair tickling your back sends shivers through your whole body. Mingyu sat back on the couch admiring you on his lap, taking in the whole sight in front of him. The moonlight flooding in the windows leaking onto your half naked body moulding over every curve of your body.
“Such a pretty girl for me”
Your cheeks going a shade of pink from embarrassment, you were under his spell. 
Lust.
Both of you were. You both ached for the same thing. Mingyu gripped you tighter as he got up from his spot on the couch lifting you up to the bedroom. His lips still attached to yours, his tongue never leaving your mouth. Moaning into each others mouths as you helplessly grind against nothing looking for friction. 
Gently throwing you down onto the bed with a gentle bounce leaning on your elbows watching him as he stripped his shirt off. Exposing his skin to you, his body looking like it was carved from the Greek gods themselves. The moonlight hitting off his honey skin made him glow. The bedroom was in pristine condition until you both came barging in. Both of your garments over the freshly cleaned room. One of the candles is still burning on the dresser next to you.
Mingyu crawled onto the bed, his large frame covering you as he looked down into your eyes gently brushing your hair out of your face. Taking your face into his hold making you lock eyes with him. You could see every muscle in his body from this angle, he has never been out of the gym and you could tell. Mainly just to get away from her. 
Diving down to your height to take your lips against his hearing him moan once his lips are moulded against yours in the kiss. His whole body weight crashed on top of you as he lost his balance but he quickly caught himself and then snaked one of his arms around the small of your back holding you closer to him. His skin was red hot against your ice cold body.
Both of you pull away from the kiss breathless looking into eachothers eyes smiling. You brushed the hair that has fallen into his face behind his ears still looking into his eyes with yours sparkling back at him. Your hands took their place at the back of his hair playing with the little tufts of hair before pulling you in to kiss again but only this time it was more passionate. His tongue moving against your bottom lip asking for permission then opening your mouth. Both of your tongues explored each other's mouths whilst your hips were grinding against each other.
One of Mingyu’s hands gently travelled down your body finding their way to your breasts. Cupping one in his large hand before taking two of his fingers to stimulate your nipple. Moaning into your mouth as you kiss and grind your hips against his feeling his cock twitch under his sweats. Smirking against his swollen lips that were bruised from you kissing them, saliva dripping down his chin.
“Are you good baby? Do you want to continue?”
Nodding your head, giving him permission to go further making you feel good. His eyes sparkling like a puppy watching the way your body reacts to his touches. Mingyu loves the way goosebumps appear on your skin as he ghosts his fingers on the elastic of your underwear. That's when he saw the wet patch forming in your underwear. 
“Such a slut for me baby…”
His middle finger started to circle around your sensitive clit whilst he was moving in between your thighs to be face to face with your core. His warm breath fanning over your clothed core clawing at your underwear to come off. Mingyu’s thick fingers clawing at the lace dragging it down your hips sliding it down your thighs revealing your bare cunt to him.
He could feel himself starting to drool at the sight in front of him; he felt like the luckiest man in the world. He has never felt like this when he had her laying on the same spot in the same position. Your hair fanning over the pillow and your chest heaving up and down watching every move he makes closely. Your breath catches in your throat when his lips wrap around your clit.
“My pretty baby…”
No matter how much you both sleep together his words still have the same effect on you and it always feels like the first with him. Mingyu always made sure you were comfortable with him and ready to take his cock. Your hands found their place in his long hair pulling on it guiding him and showing him where you need him most.
He pulled away from your cunt for a moment and you saw the arousal dripping down his chin falling from around the corners of his mouth watching as it dripped down his chin. He whiped the mess on his chin with the back of his hand making sure you kept eye contact with him the whole time. Mingyu’s tongue poked out from the corners of his mouth to lick up anything that he had missed, licking over his plump lips making them shine in the moonlight.
You clenched at the sight in front of you with his hair pushed back and watching the way his back muscles flexed in the mirror, it drove you crazy. He was strong enough to hold you against a wall for as long as he needed and his stamina… out of control.
You pulled Mingyu back down to your cunt by his hair making him groan out. He was eating you like you are his last meal that he has on this earth and you are taking every minute that you can. Clawing at his back the deeper his tongue fucked into you. Your moans starting to bounce off the walls mixing with the muffled sound of his groans against your cunt. Mingyu was aching for you, his hips starting to rut against the bed the closer you got to your orgasm.
Your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you hit your peak. Bucking your hips against his face and holding him on your cunt letting him collect all your essence that was dripping down your thighs. Gasping for breath as you come down from your high and you hear him chuckle at the mess he has made you.
“I haven’t had you like this for a while baby, you really are a work of art.”
He never gave you enough time to recover from your last orgasm before he was towering over your frame. You saw the sweat that was starting to form in his chest from how warm the room was getting. Feeling every breath he took fanned down your neck as he kissed the exposed skin waiting for the permission to go ahead. One nod from you and his sweats were on the floor with his boxers.
Mingyu’s body always amazed you every time you saw him naked in this situation, you couldn’t get enough of it. He towered over you again as his cock rubbed against your entrance looking at every reaction. Your face mouling in pleasure when the head of his cock rubs against your clit.
“Please Mingyu…”
The whine turned into a moan when you felt his cock stretch you out in that way, it had been a long time since he was inside you and you were feeling it. You loved the way he made you feel so full every time you met up like this. He could see the discomfort in your face so he locked his hands in with yours rubbing your palms trying to soothe you.
“It’s ok baby. I'm here for you”
Mingyu would never move without your permission he always waited on your sign to let him fuck you. He wanted you to know you were the one to make the decisions every time you were intimate. Your eyes meet his frame in the mirror at the foot of the bed, clenching around his cock at the sight, hearing Mingyu groan right next to your ear.
Dragging your hips down onto his cock and watching the way he flips, his eyes go dark when he feels the way you squeeze him when you take his full cock into your cunt feeling him in your deepest spots. Hearing every gasp and moan from the back of his throat making your eyes roll into the back of your head. His large hands interlocked with yours next to your head on the pillow. You were in love with him and he never even knew.
“Such a good girl for me, just a little longer for me.”
Thats when his lust took over he was fucking you so deep you could see the outline of his cock in your stoamch which drove him crazing. His hips started to get sloppy and he started to pant more and more the closer he got and you could tell he wanted it more than you.
“Cum in me baby…”
That acted as a trigger in his mind and you felt the cum shoot inside you coating every inch of your walls inside you. Mingyu’s moans were pornagraphic. You enjoyed every minute of it with him. Your high hitting you right after his, rutting your hips against him and gasping for air till the last second.
Both of you end up laying there laughing at the mess you were in and the whole bedroom. The fresh sheets are all messy from your bodily fluids but they could get washed later. He just wanted to hold you and never leave you still sticking to you like a needy puppy. He leaned down to lay on your chest while you stroked his hair letting his breathing return to normal.
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COZY NIGHTS.
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DESCRIPTION: In which you and your husband, Roman are enjoying a day in. It’s been long overdue.
Warning(s): contains some smut, must be the age of 18 to interact. Read at your own risk.
Smut, Fluff. 1K words.
Must be 18+ to read.
𖠺
Being a two-time Oscar nominated and winning actress came with its perks and its benefits but it also came with its own special grievances. You barely had privacy or alone time, and whenever you did have alone time- something or someone would disturb it. Whether it was the paparazzi cruising and parking outside your window or it was the blogs spinning some fake news about you and your estranged husband, Leati Joseph Anoa’ï. But the world knew him as Roman Reigns, one of the best WWE wrestlers out right now. Men loved him and also envied him. Women loved, lusted after and wanted him and only watched wrestling because of him and his deliciously beautiful hood looks, and body.
To think you had that. You had it all and could get it back with just one phone call.
You and Leati separated because you both rarely had time for each other and when you did, it was constant fighting over lies the blogs or so called “friends” had spilled. But, you both still undeniably loved each other and craved each other's body, touch from time to time. Today was your first night to yourself after months of filming your upcoming film. You were in Montana, filming a movie by Tune Productions (@/ingeniousmindoftune) about a girl who fell in love with a guy with a southern drawl and lifestyle. It was a book. Now a movie. You were excited because it was one of your favorite books and now you were the star of the film. There was a lot of controversy but you didn’t care.
You were fresh out your shower.
Dressed in something comfy, one of your favorite brands of loungewear. Comfy cotton, two piece with the robe to match. Letting your freshly done curls fall into place, you used your wide-toothed comb to brush your hair into place and let it fall past your shoulders. Slipping your feet into your slides. You hit the light and walked out the adjoined bathroom to your bedding area of your cabin, you made your way over to the kitchen area in your cabin and warmed you some hot water on the stove in the kettle.
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“Let’s see, what am I in the mood for?”
Flipping through the television to find a good film, you landed on “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” One of your few films you liked to watch on the occasional, you hit pause whilst you went and made your hot cup of chamomile tea. Dipping the tea bag up and down in the hot water that filled your coffee mug; you made your way to the living area. You was deep into the film when there was knocking. You groaned. You told every one you didn’t want to be bothered, this way your day of peace and zen, but of course— Your husband didn’t receive the same message.
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“Roman?”
Roman stood at your door drenched, you hadn’t realized it was still storming outside until you saw him and opened the door. “Come in, you’re soaked.” You stepped aside letting him in, he dropped his black luggage by the door and shivered. “Roman, what’re you doing all the way out here?” You laugh softly helping him take off his slightly drenched jacket and hang it on the coat rack next to the door. “I heard you were filming out here and wanted to surprise you.” He smiled.
“Well it worked, you surprised me..” you chuckle.
He blew in his hands and rubbed them together sitting on the couch next to you as you wrapped a warm heated blanket around him. “You should be warming up pretty soon, why are you here? You didn’t just come all the way out here to surprise me, so what is it?” Roman looked over at you. “Truth is, I’ve been doing some thinking.”
“Oh lord, that doesn’t sound too promising.” You joke.
He laughed. “Hush. Be real for a minute.” He threw off the blanket, you frowned. “What’re you doing boy? Put that back on.” You went to put that jacket back on him when he stopped you. He pulled you onto his lap, looking up at you. You looked down at him feeling his hard-on against your beating pussy. You placed your arms around his neck. “What do you think you’re doing, Leati?”
“I’m trying to have a conversation with my wife.”
You nod your head slowly. “What type of conversation?” You smirked, knowing right now he probably wanted to get you in bed and you were not turning him down. Yours and his marriage was great, aside from the arguing and lies- You had the perfect marriage and perfect sex life. “An intimate one.” He verbalized.
“Does this intimate conversation have anything to do with the fact that you are hard right now?”
Roman laughs softly. “You know you always had this effect on me, Y/n.” He ran his hand up your back. “You always make me lose my footing. My wording. I want you so bad right now.” You leaned down, pressing your lips against his. He kissed you. Giving your ass a nice squeeze in his hands, he didn’t break the kiss. “Mm,” you moan against the kiss pushing him back. Taking off his shirt, leaving his fresh new tattoos on full display. It made him even more attractive. “Okay, Tribal Chef. Why don’t you show me what we both have been missing?”
“Gladly.”
Although the two of you have been split for the last three years, you both could not find it in your hearts to file for divorce. He loved you and you loved him, he stood up still holding onto you. “Bedroom?” He mouthed against your lips. Not breaking the kiss, you pointed to the bedroom. Continuing to lock lips with yours, he held onto you as he stepped up the two stairs that led to the platform and hallway to the bedroom, once he reached the bedroom, he opened the door as he held you up with one arm, pushing the door open with his foot. He placed you down. You bit down on your lip. “You sure we should be doing this? Once we do, there is no going back.”
“I don’t want to go back. I want to move forward, Y/n. I wanna work on us baby.”
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You smiled holding his muscles in the palm of your hands, he leaned down planting another kiss on your lips. “I love you,” he whispered between each peck, lifting you up. “I love you more.” He tossed you onto the bed, “That’s not possible.” He smirked, you shook your head taking off the top of your piece set. Roman leans in, moving your hair to the side, kissing on your neck. You moaned, tilting your head to the side slightly. His kissed went from your neck down to your nipple, he flicks his tongue over it, giving your nipple some making love action. You moaned, holding the back of his neck since it was exposed and his hair was in a man bun, your instant turn-on. He brought his hands down to your shorts, spreading your legs apart, he rubbed you through them causing your leakage to leak through.
“L-Leati!” You moan out in pleasure as you were now stripped into nothing
His hands was rubbing up and down your folds, his tongue still making love to your right boob. Your head was thrown back. “Mm, this feels so good.” You moan in pure bliss. His fingers slipped into your vagina, pumping in and out your walls sending your moans into overdrive. “P-please.. d-don’t stop.” You moan out louder. He switched from your right nipple to your left. He was taking his time, showing you just how much he missed you. Craved you. Needed you.
“Ah!” You scream out as your back arched off the bed.
His finger pumping in and out of your vagina like it was one of your sex toys. But better. His tongue swirled around your clit causing pure pain and pleasure, the feeling was the most sensual and intense emotion you’d ever felt, you could agree this was the best sex the two of you’d ever experienced. You tightened your grip around the snow while sheets, that were now stained with your cum.
“Roman!!!” You screamed.
Roman looked up at you, panting like a dog. His beard drenched in your cream and liquids. Your body shook. You didn’t know how much more you could take. “R-Roman! I-I-ahhhh fuck!” You screamed as you squirted all over the sheets and him. He smirked leaning back. “Mmm, damn baby.” You laugh softly covering your face as you blushed. He stood up removing your face from your hands. “Mm, no let daddy see your face.”
“Mm, yes daddy.”
He smirked, dropping his boxers. “Baby, I’m so weak.” You pouted. “Just where I want you.” He grabbed your hands in his, he stood in position before slipping his long, hardened dick into your soaked pussy. “Baby!” You whimpered as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He smirked, thrusting in and out of you like you were one of his pocket-pussies. “Shit. You feel so good. Forgot how good you felt!” He groaned. “Fuck.” He moaned, throwing his head back.
“Yes, yes!”
You loved the sound of his moans. And knowing you were the one giving him this pleasure made you even more happy. He moaned and groaned as he speeded up his pace and thrust, the both of your eyes rolling around in your head from the crazy amount of pleasure you both were feeling. “God damn!” He swore.
“Daddy, don’t stop!” You whimpered. “P-please!”
Roman pulled out then slammed right back in causing you to yelp. “Fuck, Y/N.” He groaned at how good your walls felt against his dick. The warmth, the love. He could feel how much she missed him. And he was enjoying every minute of it; then bam, it happened. He couldn’t pull out in time, you was just feeling sooo good, he didn’t want to pull out. “Shit,” he curses, pulling out letting the rest of his juices squirt all over your pussy and lower stomach. “Did you just?” You questioned.
“I-I’m sorry baby, you just-”
You cut him off by kissing his lips. “It’s okay. Lay down baby.” You pushed him onto the bed getting on top of him for the six-nine position. Adjusting your body over him, your pussy rested against his lips and your lips against his dick. “Mm,” you moaned as you started making love to your man’s dick, your dick. Your head bobbing up and down and hands twisting and rubbing his member. You continued even after he bust, sending him into a craze. His toes curled and his head game became sloppier and nastier.
“Roman.” You breathed out as you both fell beside each other
His chest heaved up and down, he turned his attention to you. Kissing your nose. “I love you.” You smiled. “I love you too.”
“Come here.”
He pulled you into his arms, you laid your head on his chest. Your legs wrapped around his as he held you in his arms. You listened to each other’s heartbeats and heavy breathing. He held his hand up, you looked at it planting your smaller ones into his larger ones, kissing his chest. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. Let’s never do this again, okay?” You looked up at him. “You mean split?” He nods. “We can definitely have this conversation again.” You both laugh.
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Roman held you in his arms, caressing his hands over your body. The feeling of your body against his was all he could ever want and need in this world. “Mm and to think I wanted to left alone.” You giggled. He chuckled continuously rubbing his hands over your body. “We can be alone together baby.” You smiled to yourself just enjoying the intimacy between your husband yourself. This warmth. This cozy feeling. This.. peaceful..
Cozy night.
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Tags:
@xsweetdellzx @laylasbunbunny @hinatasfleshlight @skyesthebomb @bbygirlchristina @lovesanimals0000 @briana-mishell24 @piccasoe @wandasbitxh @90sisthenew80s @tribalqueen20 @panicsinvirgo @star017 @zenxn20 @pearlkitten33 @rosegoldcoco
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wonwoosthetic · 2 years
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Amour-Haine & Co. | Chapter 14 |
series masterlist
warnings - swearing, alcohol, mentions of emotional abusive parents, toxic relationships
word count - 14.3k
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A/N: this one here... ui... I deleted this chapter so many times bc I wasn't happy with it. now I'm uploading it like this. It took a different route than expected, but oh well... I hope you enjoy it :)
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"That I'm on my fucking knees for you, Y/N."
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Mum?!
"Wonwoo!" The woman ran towards the CEO, her arms open wide and a big smile decorating her already beautiful face.
Mum???
Wonwoo took a few steps forward to welcome her with a hug, the shocking impression still on his face while your feet seemed to have rooted themselves into the floor. You eyed their interaction from your position, your mind somewhere else but in the room, but your ears caught enough of their conversation to earn your attention.
"Jesus, have you been working out even more?" Jeon Chaewon released her son from her embrace, holding onto his forearms tightly, "I told you to stop that and start taking care of yourself like a normal person," and hit his arm gently. "How dare you not contact me, by the way? You bought a new company together with Mingyu, I have to find out you're in a relationship through your father, out of all people, then you're getting sued and you don't even call me-" hold on, what did she just say?
The CEO interrupted her questioning, taking her hands off him and embracing them into his, "Mum, calm down. What are you even doing here?"
She chuckled, "Is that how you greet your mother after a year of not seeing her?" And shook her head, "Unbelievable..."
"Mum-"
She stopped him with a smile and another slap, "No, 'mum'. I know it's very unexpected, especially now with everything going on, but still..." Neither one of them knew how to continue the conversation, and you weren't about to interrupt their little reunion. The scene was just as overwhelming for you as it seemed to have been for Wonwoo.
Unsure of how to go about the situation next, you decided to slowly and quietly make your way into your own office, giving the pair the privacy they deserved. 
Just as you turned around, your ears perked up at the sound of the woman speaking again, "You've got a lot of explaining to do, young man."
The deep sigh that came from Wonwoo was unlike anything you had ever heard. Deep. And heavy. Something you knew from yourself only too well.
"I know..." his voice was quieter than before - and much softer. As soft as you had only ever heard it once before. "Let's go to my office." She nodded but didn't follow her son when he turned around, 
"You're not coming?" You were about to open the door, but stopped mid-action when she continued, "Y/N?" You thought you would be sly with your disappearance. 
"Hm?" You turned your head, immediately meeting Wonwoo's panicked gaze before ignoring it and giving his mother all your attention.
"Oh no, mum, I'm sure Miss Yoon's got work to do," he tried to reach for the woman's arm, who sneakily avoided his touch, only to hit him across the head, making Wonwoo flinch.
"How dare you talk to her like that. You don't address your girlfriend by her last name, even with other people around," she scolded him, immediately catching you off-guard,
"Wh-"
"Right, I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, sending you a quick glance, raising his eyebrows for the shortest second possible. You got the sign but had to hold back a deep sigh. Where was he going with this?! What was he trying to do?
You wanted to interfere, but as soon as your eyes found the awaiting gaze of Jeon Chaewon, you just couldn't. Her eyes were sparkling like the brightest stars in a dark night sky. Like the fireworks you'd only get to see on New Year's Eve, right there in the form of her eyes. Only the eyes of a loving mother could hold that gaze. A sight you remembered very well and which you hadn't seen in quite some time.
"I-," you what? What were you going to say? How could you now say no to this woman in front of you... 
Frantically, your eyes met Wonwoo's for a quick second before you put your best fake smile on, "I'll be with you in a minute, I- I just... have to check on something in my office," and covered your nervous lying. 
It seemed to have satisfied Miss Jeon as she sent you another one of her bright grins before turning around, passing her son and entering his office before him as he was still standing in the same spot, his eyes fixed on you. He was about to say something, but you just shook your head and headed to your private room right away, not wanting to spend another second in this uncomfortable situation.
With quick steps you were in your office, immediately throwing your bag onto the couch in the corner. You ran your fingers through your hair, getting annoyed when they suddenly got stuck in the knots that had formed. Frantically, you pushed your hands down, flinching at the feeling of some strands getting caught under your rings and getting ripped out of your scalp. You sighed.
That was not how you had planned your day to start. That was not what you could have ever expected to happen. Wonwoo's mother just showing up suddenly? Her mistaking you for-... how did that come about... 
Once again, you found yourself caught up in the memory of her voice. Her calm tone, her loving gaze, that spark in her eyes, only a mother could hold.
Your feet brought you deeper into your office, closer to the couches, where your bag had tumbled down onto the floor, the content spreading across the floor. You cursed under your breath, got rid of your jacket and threw it onto the cushioned seats before kneeling down to gather everything that had fallen out. 
After getting everything back inside your bag, you were about to stand up when the sound of your phone ringing again made you reach for it. You fished it out of the bag and, just as expected, were faced with the caller id of your father. A deep sigh tumbled from your lips. How much longer could I ignore him, you wondered. His name has been popping up ever since that morning. He had found out about the lawsuit. Of course, he did. You knew it. There wasn't a way that he wouldn't have found out at some point, but you had hoped to be able to push it further away from you for as long as possible. There was no going back now. You pressed the green button to accept the call.
"How fucking dare you!" The alarming voice of your father rang through your ear, and the volume of it made you shove it away from your ear. "I trusted you with this company! You're getting fucking sued, and you didn't even dare to tell me?! Are you really that fucking dumb?! And how dare you ignore all of my calls?! I've been trying to reach you for hours, and don't come at me with some stupid fucking excuse, I'm so tired of that shit!" 
"Dad-" you tried to stop him from continuing throwing these words at you, but you knew about his anger, and you knew there was no way you were able to stop him.
"NO! I really thought I raised you better than that!" You closed your eyes and let the phone rest on the couch, your knees still the only support on the cold floor. His voice was loud enough, you didn't have to put him on speaker. "At first you embarrass me with that sudden office romance you've got going on with Wonwoo, and now you won't even tell me about a fucking lawsuit?! What kind of daughter are you?! This is not only embarrassing but even humiliating to me! What do you think this makes me look like, huh?! Have you thought about that?! I bet you haven't!"
"Dad, please-" your voice was too quiet for him to even hear.
"I don't know what the fuck is going on in that head of yours, but you better fix it, or I'm going to fix that position you're in. How dare you even believe you deserve that spot as COO. Jesus Christ...," he took a deep breath before continuing, "You fucked up, Y/N. You fucked up bad, I hope you know that. And I hope you know how-" The call suddenly ended. With your eyes still closed, you enjoyed the sudden moment of silence. You expected that reaction from him. You expected every harsh word that fell from his lips. But hearing them from the man you had to call your father... that hurt. Denying it wasn't helping. As much as you would've loved to pretend his words didn't hit you, you couldn't.
"Don't listen to him." The familiar deep voice spoke up from behind you, making you open your eyes. You stared at the bookshelf in front of you, only seeing the silhouette of the CEO getting closer from the corner of your eye. "He's mad and probably doesn't even know what he's saying." His comment made you let out a chuckle. A chuckle filled with hurt and pain. So much pain.
You lowered your head, "He knows exactly what he's saying." It was only then that you felt the tightness of your throat. It made you gulp.
"Y/N-" his soft tone was trying to comfort you, but you pushed it away.
"What do you need?" You changed the subject, still not facing him.
Wonwoo was silent. He took a few more steps closer to you, stopping in front of you and kneeling down. "My mother was worried because you said you'd be with us in a minute, and it's been a bit longer than that. She made me come check on you."
You quickly forced the corners of your lips to lift before running your hands through your hair to push it out of your face and lifted your head. That's when you found the man's worried eyes glued on you, expecting you to say something.
"Right," you nodded, "Sorry." You were about to push yourself back to stand up, but Wonwoo's hands on your wrists stopped you, your eyes immediately looking down at his touch, before going up again.
"Y/N-"
"I'm okay." You were quick to interrupt him, answering the question he didn't even ask. "It's okay. I'm good." 
For a second too long, his gaze interlocked with yours. He reached out with his hand, his palm stopping at your cheek to press against it gently as his thumb wiped away the tear that had made its way from your eye. A touch you would have never let happen weeks ago. Not even in your head, would you have let Wonwoo touch you that softly. But right then, your body almost betrayed you as you felt the need to lean into the warmth of his palm. 
You lowered your head in shame, not realising you had started crying, making him take his hand back.
Wonwoo gulped, "I'm sorry."
You raised your head in confusion at his statement, "What are you sorry for?"
He cleared his throat, "For not thinking about the consequences of not telling your father even though you wanted to tell him. I didn't think he'd react like that." His words were filled with honesty. His voice sounded like pure regret. Even in his eyes, you could see the sincerity behind everything he had said.
A sad smile formed on your lips as you slowly shook your head, "He would've reacted like this either way..." your voice getting shakier and shakier with each word, "He... he's already disappointed in me...for multiple reasons... one more won't hurt, right?" The theoretical question brought even more tears to your eyes as you locked with his gaze again. You pressed your lips together tightly, hoping to suppress them from shaking as the tears were dreading to spill. The whimper sat in the back of your throat just waiting to come out. Just like you had done many times before, you let your head fall back, trying to blink the tears back into your body before standing up, making Wonwoo do the same just a second later. He kept a concerned facial expression on you while you shook your head and tried to make yourself appear normal by fixing your hair and outfit.
"You don't have to-"
"I said, I'm okay," maybe by repeating them, you could convince yourself that you might actually were. When, in fact, you weren't.
"I wasn't about to ask you that," the CEO let you know, lowering his body down to pick up your bag and placing it on the couch, next to where your phone- where was it? It had been there only a few minutes ago.
You nodded and shifted your gaze down to your shoes, eyeing his feet that were coming closer to you, stopping only a few centimetres in front of you.
"I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to pretend that his words didn't just affect you."
You shrugged, "They didn't," and crossed your arms before looking up again after you didn't get an answer back from him. But as soon as you faced him again, he only glanced at you with raised eyebrows and his hands hidden away in his pockets. 
For a few seconds, there was nothing but silence. Nothing but the two of you, staring into each other's eyes, both knowing what you had just said was far from the truth, and both waiting for the other one to continue this conversation.
"So?" You started again, "For how much longer do you want to keep your mother alone?"
He breathed in some air through his teeth and made his way to your left, making you turn towards him, your back now facing the window wall behind you. "For as long as it takes you to admit that you're not okay," he eyed you, switching his gaze to something behind you for a second, "Besides, she's watching us anyways."
"What?!" Your eyes widened as you turned around to find the smiling woman's gaze longing at the two of you. "Oh, god," your head snapped back, and your hands immediately flew up to brush over your cheeks, hoping to wipe away any access trails the tears had left. "Okay, okay," you spoke mostly to yourself while looking around the room, trying to locate your phone. You patted down the side of your pants, thinking that you may have put it into your pockets without realising. But you didn't. You decided to ignore it and focused back on the man in the room,
"What do I do?" But he just looked at you confused and surprised.
"What do you mean?"
"With your mother," you nudged your head slightly towards her direction, "W-Who does she think I am? What does she think... we are?"
Wonwoo nodded at the sudden realisation of your question and leaned back against your desk, his arms crossed in front of his chest, "She thinks we're dating."
"But why?" You sent him a confused glance, "She... she mentioned something about her ex-husband..." and trailed off.
The CEO sighed, "My father told her." You continued looking at him with the same facial expression, making him continue with a smirk, "You remember the dinner? We're great actors." And then the last puzzle pieces snapped together.
"And he told his ex-wife about that...?" Your eyebrows scrunched as you let the scenario run through your head. What an interesting conversation to have with someone.
Wonwoo shrugged, "I'm surprised as well, trust me. The fact that he even dared to call her because of some bullshit like that. He knows he shouldn't, but that man doesn't care."
"He shouldn't what?" You wondered, but he brushed it off,
"Doesn't matter," and pushed himself off the desk, standing back steadily on both of his feet, "So?"
"Hm?" You hummed, wondering what he meant.
Suddenly a warm smile appeared on his face. A smile that caught all of your attention. It was kind. Welcoming. It felt comforting. Somewhat familiar.
"Are you okay?"
You caught yourself being caught off guard as your eyes lingered a little too long on his lips, making you shake your head and find his eyes quickly. A forced smile made its way to your mouth and your quiet voice filled the room, "As okay as I could be at this moment, I think."
The young CEO pressed his lips together and nodded, even if it was hesitantly, "I can accept that as an honest answer."
"You have to," you shot out before thinking well enough about what was gonna come out of your mouth. What even was that supposed to mean? 
Wonwoo grinned, taking a step closer to almost tower over you, "Oh, do I?" The close proximity of your bodies let your heartbeat quicken right away. Just like it did in the elevator when you went to meet him. Just like in front of the courtroom when he tried to comfort you. The same way as when he had put his hand on your shoulder for the first time. Or his hand on your lower back before he pulled you in closer as he swept you across the ballroom floor-
"Y/N?" His voice made you snap back into the present as you found his longing gaze on you. 
"What?" 
He chuckled at your reaction but kept his eyes closely on yours, the grin tickling his lips.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah," you answered quickly, shaking your head maybe a little too fast, but you pushed that thought aside and were quick to turn around, walking towards the glass door. You opened it and motioned for him to walk out first. Wonwoo approached you with a smile before raising his arm to get a hold of the door above your head, holding it open and nudging for you to walk out first. You sent him a quick look that he just knew exactly what it meant. Still, you followed his order and stepped out, but waited for him to close the door, so the two of you would walk up to his mother side by side. 
The walk to his office was no longer than 15 seconds (if you walked slower than you usually would), but those few seconds felt like an eternity at that very moment. Having Wonwoo next to you was the only thing that kept you from turning around and leaving the building - your body assured you of that. 
He took a few bigger steps to be ahead of you, opened the door to his office and ushered you inside, where his mother had already been waiting for you, now sitting on one of the couches in the corner. You opened your mouth to excuse yourself for being late, but a familiar ringtone caught your attention. The sound of your phone ringing made you turn around to see where it was coming from. You came to sight with Wonwoo fishing it out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket, making you glance at him in confusion, but he didn't even raise his head to look at you. Only after he took a look at your screen, he dared to look up, meeting your eyes. You were about to walk up to him, raising your hand to get a hold of the phone, but he stopped you,
"Sorry, I'll be right back," and sent a nod to his mother, "I gotta take this call," before leaving the room again. Your eyes followed him until he had rounded the corner, making sure he was no longer in sight.
And there you were. Alone in a room with the mother of your CEO, or boyfriend as she thought. 
"Always so busy..." her soft voice filled your ears, "I told him to take it easy, but he won't ever listen to me." You turned around to give her a smile, followed by a chuckle. "Oh well," she returned it, "Maybe you'll have better luck with that."
"I'll try," you lied to her. Lied well. You had no other choice. That woman in front of you was ecstatic about the apparent idea that her son was in a committed relationship - and you weren't about to ruin that feeling of joy.
You had your eyes focused on the corner Wonwoo had just disappeared behind, not noticing the older woman getting closer to you. Only when her hand reached for yours was when you snapped back into the present situation you were stuck in.
"So please, Y/N," she made you follow her towards the two couches in the corner before she dragged you down to sit down right next to her, "I would love to know a bit more about you. I'm sure you must be an interesting individual if you have caught my son's eye."
You chuckled nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that, to be honest," your gaze switching to the side in hopes of finding the man you were looking for.
"But I'm sure, love," she assured you with a pat on your knee, "I mean... you are the first girlfriend he ever introduced to me, so that must mean something, you know? I know, I did get here by myself, but I was expecting him to deny everything his father told me or maybe even tell me that he just wanted to annoy him by pretending to be in a relationship," her voice drifted into a sadder tone before she looked up again, meeting your eyes with one of the brightest smiles you have ever seen, "but I cannot explain to you how happy I am that that's not the case," she engulfed her hand in yours, giving it a tight squeeze, "So, tell me a little bit about yourself."
Oh no. Oh no no. This was bad. So bad. She was expecting this to be fake. Wonwoo could've just simply told her that she was right with her suspicion. But he didn't... that idiot didn't do it. And now you have to put on the best act you possibly could, to convince her of your and her son's happiness. You had to push all the nerves that had started to form in your stomach further down, suppressing them as well as possible and putting the fake smile on that had been carrying you through your entire career.
"Okay," you smiled at her, "Well... I... ehm...," you gulped. Fuck... this was going to be harder than you thought. Concentrate. 
You wanted to meet her gaze, but as soon as that happened, you were scared that she would be able to see right through your lies, so you decided to let your eyes travel around the room, holding still on her only for a few seconds.
"I've been working here for quite a while... way before Wonwoo and Mingyu took over. And... ehm," you cleared your throat, "But I've gotten the position as COO once they became CEOs."
"Oh, what were you before that?" She seemed truly interested in what you were telling her, somehow bringing you ease and making facing her a lot easier.
"President. My father made me the President," you answered her with a tight smile on your lips.
She looked enraged once the words had reached her ears, "Only president?!" The woman didn't shout, but it was clear how she felt about what you had told her. She scuffed, "Oh well, doesn't surprise me, thinking about what I've heard about your father." Once she had finished, it seemed like she realised what she had said as her facial expression changed in an instant, "Oh god, I'm so sorry," she covered her mouth with her hand, "I didn't mean to talk badly about your father, I hope you don't-"
"Don't worry, don't worry," you chuckled, instinctively reaching for her arm to hold, "I'm not on good terms with him anyways." For some reason, it felt okay to let her know that.
A relieved sigh left her lips, "Thank god not," she laughed, "I got so worried, I'm so sorry," she grabbed your hands once again, making you look her in the eyes, "I'm truly sorry that you had to work for him. Like that. Even if just half of the things I've heard are true... I don't want to imagine what it must've been like with him. I know how difficult men like that can be..."
You shrugged, "I lived." But it was so much more than that. You could've said so many more words, but you chose not to. 
"I did too," Chaewon sent you a sad smile, "But that doesn't mean that it was right, because it most certainly wasn't. I had to learn that the hard way..." as she went quiet for a second, you didn't interrupt the silence, feeling like there was more to come from her. But before she could continue, if she had wanted to, the two of you were interrupted by Wonwoo, who had come back in through the door, closing it on his way in.
The woman turned around, coming face to face with her son, her hands still around yours, "How did it go?"
"Huh?" The CEO seemed to have been caught off guard, breaking the gaze the two of you had been holding ever since he had walked in.
His mother grinned, nodding towards his hands that had a tight grip on your phone, "Your phone call. How did it go? Anything interesting?"
He made his way over to you, nodding in understanding, "Oh," he sat down on the other couch to your left, "No, not that interesting. Just... casualties." Your eyes never left his form. They continued following him all the way until he was sitting next to you, but even then you made sure to keep them on him. He noticed your wondering look and decided to interlock his gaze with yours again. "But I managed to clear everything. Nothing to worry about anymore." You knew he was answering his mother's question, but with his eyes so fixed on yours, you could feel the words not being directed towards her. Because there was nothing she had to worry about, there was nothing you had to worry about anymore.
"But I want to talk to you later, Y/N," he announced, catching you off guard at the mention of your name.
"Me?" You wondered, almost wanting to slap your face when you noticed how weird it sounded.
Wonwoo placed your phone on the coffee table right in front of you, never looking away from you, "Yeah. You." You nodded, showing him you understood what he had said. Even though you didn't. The moment felt like an out-of-body experience. Something just felt... off. Weird. You had never been in the same room as your boyfriend AND his mother. And now you were stuck with the man you had to pretend you were dating to your left and his overjoyed-by-the-news mother to your right. No wonder this didn't feel real. Even saying it in your head didn't sound right.
"Anyways," Mrs Jeon's clap echoed through the room, making Wonwoo's eyes change to her direction, "As I mentioned earlier, I want to get to know Y/N a little bit better," her hand found yours again, "And I thought that we could maybe do that over dinner. Tonight?"
Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at the CEO, who kept the calmest possible demeanour, "Mum-"
"Only if you're not busy, of course," she quickly added, falling into another one of her rants, that she seemed to have quite often, "I know, things right now might be a bit stressful, but you never know, maybe a quiet and comfortable nice dinner might just be the thing to help you out. I'm sorry if this comes off too strong, but I haven't seen you in over a year, and suddenly I'm getting thrown over with so many news, I hoped you would unders-"
"We'd love to."
You turned to the side to face her, your free hand coming up to wrap around hers. You hoped the smile on your face would ease her. "Right, Wonwoo?" with the same facial expression, you directed your question to the CEO on the other couch. In addition, you sent him a warning glance, raising your eyebrows just enough for him to see and for his mother to not notice. 
He quickly followed with a deep breath and a nod, "Of course. We have time, don't worry, mum."
A heavy and happy sigh left Chaewon's lips as she freed your hands from her grasp, "Oh, I'm glad," you could see her eyes shining again, "That makes me so happy. Alright then, I have a table reserved at 7, is that okay? If it's too early, we can-"
"It's perfect," you interrupted her, looking up at her as she had stood up, her bag in her hands again, "We'll be there."
"Great!" She clutched tighter onto the handle, "Wonwoo, I'll send you the address." He nodded in agreement before she continued, "And for now, I'll get going and leave you to your important business stuff," walking closer towards the door with a chuckle. The young CEO was quick to stand up and beat his mother to the door with his big steps, opening it before she could get a hold of the door handle. You stood up as well but decided to stay in your spot, following her with your gaze as she got closer and closer to the exit.
"It was very nice to meet you Y/N, I can't wait for tonight," she sent you a kind grin. Even with the extra wrinkles that appeared when she smiled, she somehow managed to look even younger. That's what living happily must do to you.
"Likewise, thank you Mrs- Chaewon," you corrected yourself, hoping she didn't catch your slip up, but her chuckle told you otherwise, "See you later," and waved her off.
The woman gave her son a quick hug, whispered something you sadly didn't catch into his ear, making him roll his eyes, and after another round of goodbyes, she left the office. Once she was out of the room, Wonwoo and you stayed still in the same spot. Your gazes travelled along with his mother, waiting for her to round the corner until she was out of sight. As soon as that happened, you let yourself fall onto the sofa with a big sigh tumbling from your lips. Before you could let your head fall back, you crouched forward, resting your elbows on your knees and holding onto your head with your hands.
"Jesus," you breathed out, "That was even more stressful than I imagined."
"Really?" Wonwoo wondered as he approached your form, filling the seat to your right that his mother had left empty. "You seemed awfully calm. Kinda worried a bit."
"Did I?" You straightened your back immediately, "Calm? Really?" His nod assured you, "Wow... I mean... I'm glad, because I feel like my heart," your hand flew up to touch your chest, "Is about to jump out." It was then that you realised just how fast it was beating and probably had been beating the entire time already.
"No, don't worry, you were doing better than expected," he admitted, leaning back to get comfortable on the couch. As you turned your body to face him better, your knee touched his. Both of you noticed it. Neither of you moved to change it.
You scrunched your eyebrows, "What do you mean 'better than expected'? What did you think I was gonna do?" The question was tickling your tongue, and nothing was holding you back from asking him.
Wonwoo chuckled, "Why did you agree to that dinner so quickly? I thought you didn't want to play along."
"I never said that," you snapped back without hesitation. Instead of answering verbally, the young CEO raised an eyebrow, making you scoff, "What? I was just surprised. I never said that I wouldn't play along."
"Alright," he simply nodded and thought the subject was done, but you had some more to say.
"And did you really think I would just break your mother's heart like that? Did you see the way her eyes lit up when she talked about us?"
A smirk slowly but surely made its way to Wonwoo's lips. He bit down on his bottom lip before opening his mouth, "Us? What us?"
"The us she thinks we are. The us that makes her eyes sparkle and her lips turn into such a beautiful smile. The most beautiful one a mother could have." You found yourself reminiscing in the memory of sitting next to her, feeling the comfort of her presence hugging you.
For a second, the CEO was quiet before he sat up straighter, "So basically you did it because you wanted to see her happy?"
"I guess so. I mean... what other reason would I have had to keep up this lie?" You answered him honestly, your mind somewhere else as could be heard by your voice.
Wonwoo shrugged, "I don't know, was just a question," and sighed. "So," he suddenly changed the subject and got up from his seating position, "Now that you've set up a date for us tonight-"
"Don't say it like that," you warned him, "That makes it sound weird." It made it sound real.
He chuckled, "What else should I call it?"
"I don't know," you mumbled, "Meet-up with your mother?"
"Alright," he nodded, "Now that you've set up a meet-up with my mum at 7pm, which is by the way during our work time, I'd love to hear how you expect us to be there and here at the same time?"
You stood up as well, taking a few steps to pass the coffee table, taking your phone with you, "We can just leave a little earlier. The guys will be fine without you and, just in case anything happens, Mingyu is still here."
Wonwoo looked at you in wonder, "You're just gonna ditch work?" Then scoffed, "I don't think your boss is gonna like that, you know?"
You smirked, "Well, tough luck then. I'm the COO and I'm saying that he and I are gonna get off work earlier so we can make his mother happy."
"Interesting," he raised his eyebrows while an amused grin played on his lips, "What a confident COO we have here." He reached into his pocket and got out his own phone before rounding his table, taking a seat on the big leather chair behind the desk, "Then I'm gonna call Hongseok and tell him he doesn't have to pick you up this evening."
"And he doesn't have to pick me up tomorrow morning either, tell him that too," you remembered that morning when you planned to get to work by subway, but were surprised by the CEO's driver waiting for you in front of your apartment complex. He assured you that he was here on request of Jeon Wonwoo and that he was not allowed to leave until you got into the car. "He didn't have to do it today either... Do you know how weird it is to just get picked up randomly?"
"He only came because I couldn't make it today, I'm sorry. I'll be there tomorrow again," he tried to assure you, but you quickly shut him down,
"No, that's not what I meant," your comment caught his attention and made him look up from the screen, "I also told you that I don't want anyone picking me up. I'm fine with using the public transport until I get a new car. I don't need a driver AND," you added right away as you saw him already opening his mouth, ready to say something, "I also don't need you to pick me up."
Wonwoo leaned back in his chair, a heavy sigh falling from his lips, "I told you I don't mind."
"And I told you I don't want it."
"What if I don't want you to use public transport. Imagine someone catching the COO of one of Seoul's biggest businesses taking the bus to work," another one of those eyebrow raises, gosh...
You shrugged and crossed your arms as you stood right in front of his desk, "Well... then they'll think I'm doing something good for the environment. We should do more about that anyways."
But Wonwoo only shook his head, "No. My COO isn't taking any kind of public transport. Not happening."
You scoffed at the use of his words, "Your COO?!"
"Yeah, my COO. Who else do you think you're working for?" He must've known he was testing your temper. He must've. There wasn't another reason you could've thought of as to why he would throw out a comment like that. 
You squinted your eyes at him, the fists your hands had formed tightening as you had to bite your tongue to hold back the statement playing on the tip of your tongue. You had two options there. Either, you don't hold back and another argument will break out because both of your personalities are too big for their own good. OR, you were going to be the bigger person, hold back all the things you would regret and get out of this situation quietly and just move on with the day. There was just one problem. And that was that the second option was never really there, thanks to your temper.
"Are you forgetting who you're talking to?" You snapped at the man, walking up to stop right in front of his desk. Wonwoo let go of his phone and set it down on the top of the table. He directed his gaze to you, looking up from his seated position, the corners of his lips curling slightly. He looked to the side with a chuckle, huffing out a little amount of air - he seemed gladly amused by your reaction as if it was right where he wanted to get you.
With a confident grin, he leaned back in his chair, his eyes gliding over your entire form. "I know exactly who I'm talking to, don't you worry."
"Then you should know when to shut your mouth," you kept an unamused facial expression, hoping he would get the message, but that fucking smirk on his lips was just a little too distracting, even for you to truly be annoyed.
"Why should I if I get to see you like this?" His question confused you. Was he getting that much of a thrill out of making you annoyed at him? Was he liking it that much? What was he trying to do...
You scrunched your eyebrows, "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"
Instead of answering, he widened his grin, keeping his mouth shut, but his glance interlocked with yours. 
Something in the way he looked at you wanted you to smile like an idiot too, but you controlled it by letting out a salty chuckle, raising your hands in defence,
"I'm not giving into that. I'm not gonna be annoyed anymore."
"Sure you won't," Wonwoo nodded amusingly, blinking at you with that stupid smirk still plastered on his face.
Just when you were about to open your mouth, another snarky remark tickling your tongue, your phone in the pocket of your pants rang, catching your attention as you fished it out. A look at the screen made you let out a big huff of air, closing your eyes to contain your emotions.
The young CEO noticed your reaction, "Is it your dad?"
You nodded, "Obviously," and let your finger hover just a few millimetres over the 'accept' button, even though you knew you'd regret answering his call.
"Don't."
The deep voice made you look up, finding the dark eyes of the man in front of you immediately. He dropped his eyes down to the hand that was holding onto the phone before coming up again, staring into yours.
"Don't answer it."
Before this... he had your phone... and accepted it when it rang...
"Why?" You wondered, suddenly feeling the smallest amount of anxiety coming up in your body, "What did you do?" You followed his silhouette as he stood up, walked passed the desk and stopped in front of you. On his way, you had turned around, your ass now right at the edge of the table while he stood tall opposite of you.
He shook his head, "I didn't do anything. Just don't answer it." When you noticed him reaching forward, attempting to take the device out of your hold, you snatched your hand back, further away from him. He sighed in annoyance, but he was in no position to be the one irrigated by this situation.
"And who are you to tell me whose calls not to answer," your sharp tongue always acted before your brain could. Great character trait.
"You're boss, so give me the fucking phone," he tried to get a grasp of your phone once again, but you leaned back, extending your arm as far as possible. Another aggravated sigh, "Y/N, I swear to God..."
"You swear to God, what?" You raised your brows. Two can play that game. Both of you knew that, you've done it before. You've had moments like these before. This already felt familiar. If he could get a kick out of infuriating you, you could do the same to him.
Wonwoo lifted his head to meet your gaze. He didn't say anything. Just looked at you. Your phone was no longer ringing. There were no sounds anymore to fill the room and yet, it didn't feel quiet. You weren't sure where to look but decided to do just like him and just kept your eyes on him. Wonwoo had gotten dangerously close when he tried to reach for the phone the second time, and he hadn't backed away yet. One small lean in and your noses would've touched.
The moment that you shared in silence didn't feel long enough when he broke it with a deep sigh. Not an annoyed one. Just deep. You wondered why, but got your answer with his next action. His hands suddenly found your hips and he lifted you to sit on the desk. A gasp fell from your lips as your hands had reached for his arms for stability. His movement caught you off-guard. He surprised you once again.
Right after he had put you down, he let his hands rest on each side of you, leaning forward to lean in, getting closer to you for just the littlest amount.
"You really like playing smart, don't you?" His breath tickled your lips.
"I like getting proper answers, mister I-always-talk-in-some-kind-of-code," you sassied back, getting a chuckle out of him.
He shook his head softly, "Give me the phone Y/N. Please."
You only then noticed that your hands were still on his arms when you let go to hand him the device, this time not questioning his actions. He stood up straight, took it from your grasp and turned it around to ask you to unlock it.
"4596," you simply answered him, not even looking down at the phone as you told him your code.
Wonwoo put it in and started tapping on the screen. You noticed he had started texting someone and could already guess who it was. 
"I thought I made it clear," he mumbled, making it hard for you to understand him, but you caught it. It confused you, but you decided not to question him, mesmerized by the man standing in front of you. 
When he put it back down on the table next to you, your eyes followed his hand. You noticed the ring on his pinky and wondered how you had never caught that before.
"What did you do?" 
"Something that will hopefully keep him from calling you from now on," he let you know, his hands back on each side of you, but he wasn't leaning in as much as before.
You took a deep breath, "He's my father, I can't just ignore him-"
"He was disrespecting you. He talked to you in a way no father should ever talk to their daughter, and you still march to his tune. Hold yourself up higher. You're better than that."
The way he thought he knew you better than you did yourself infuriated you. "I'm not marching to his fucking tune. I just don't want to create useless arguments between us. I want to clear things up and move on. But with this way and just ignoring his calls, he's only gonna get angrier and-"
"And what?" He picked at your statement, "Who cares if he's angry? He's been angry before, he'll be angry in the future. He'll get over this because he's gonna find something or even someone else to shout at."
You shook your head, "You don't know him like I do."
"That's true," Wonwoo nodded, "I don't. And honestly... I don't want to. Because God knows what I'll do if I ever catch him talking to you like that when I'm in the same room as him." That caught you off guard. 
He let that statement roll off his tongue as if it was the most casual thing to say. His eyes were fixed on yours. Still. And he didn't even blink when he said it. He also didn't look away afterwards. He continued staring right into your soul, making you gulp. You had to break the eye contact, afraid of what could happen if you didn't.
"God," you sighed, "Why do you care so much about that..." your voice laced with something similar to irritation, but then again not really... because you weren't, you could never be. You were curious. You were wondering. He seemed so invested in something that had nothing to do with him and everything to do with you. 
Instead of answering, Wonwoo took a few steps back and made his way back behind his desk. You hated whenever he did that as it wasn't the first time.
"Wonwoo-"
"Just don't answer his calls, alright?" He interrupted you. You turned around to look at him again as he sat himself down in his chair, "You are under no obligation to listen to whatever that man has to say."
"And what if he suddenly shows up here? What the hell am I supposed to say then?!" It wasn't an impossible scene to happen. What your father wanted, he got - even if it was an argument with you. Even if it meant just showing up to shout at you. He would do that, you were convinced.
Wonwoo's attention was fixed on the computer when he answered, "I'm your boss, and I don't want my COO to be distracted by private calls during her work day."
You didn't correct him.
-
Shortly before the clock on your wall hit 7pm, there was a knock on the open glass door to your office. You looked away from your computer screen, and your eyes found the form of the CEO standing in the doorframe.
"You ready?" He asked you. You took a quick look at the clock in the corner of the screen and answered him with a smile and a nod,
"Yep." After closing the tabs you didn't need anymore, you shut down the PC and got up. While you scanned the desk for anything important you may leave behind, you noticed some files that were still spread out, making the space look messier than you wanted to, so you decided to collect them and put them into folders on the shelves next to you. As soon as you turned back around, Wonwoo had gotten closer to your desk, waiting patiently with your bag in one hand and your jacket in the other. You quickly made your way over to him, thanking him quietly for the gesture and took your belongings to yourself, carrying the bag over your shoulder and holding onto the jacket, knowing you wouldn't need it since you'd be in a car.
The two of you exited your office and made your way to the elevator, only making simple conversation.
"Did you tell Mingyu where you're going?" You wanted to know, remembering that you had mentioned him earlier in your conversation. Wonwoo nodded, at the same time the elevator had arrived, and he ushered you inside before entering as well.
"I told him we're meeting up with my mum," he simply answered you. Silence probably wouldn't have been awkward, or maybe it would have been... but you weren't about to test it, so you tried to keep the conversation up on your way down.
"What did he say?"
He turned to the side, raising one eyebrow at you, "About this? What was he supposed to say about it?"
You shrugged, "I don't know... kind of weird that I'm going out to eat with you and your mother... if I were him I'd be questioning it."
Wonwoo shook his head, a soft chuckle falling from his lips, that he hid by putting one finger on his lips, "No, he...," he straightened his back before continuing, "He was just mad that we didn't invite him."
"Has kind of become a casualty," you grinned, laughing to yourself in your head while your fingers tightened around the handle of your bag.
"What has?" Wonwoo questioned.
You turned your head, meeting his gaze, "You taking me to things instead of Mingyu... even though Mingyu would make more sense."
The CEO scrunched his eyebrows, "I mean... I don't know how believable Mingyu and I could fake being in a relationship." His comment made you chuckle and lower your head. Also true...
"I don't how believable we're gonna be if I'm being honest," your voice was laced with worry. Wonwoo caught that and immediately made you look at him, by moving his entire body to face you, leaning onto the wall behind him.
"We already convinced my dad. You have nothing to worry about anymore. It'll be easy," he tried to assure you, but it only helped so little.
"Easy...," you mumbled once the doors opened again, letting you into the garage where Wonwoo had parked his car.
Easy. This was going to be easy. 'It'll be easy', pff yeah, maybe for you... but it should also be for-
"Are you coming?" His familiar voice brought you back to the present as you snapped out of the mental conversation you had just had with yourself. Without answering, you followed him quickly, jogging a little to catch up with him.
Arrived at his car, Wonwoo made sure to go to the passenger side first, opening the door to let you step in. You stopped before getting in,
"I can open it myself, you know?" Turning your head ever so slightly, only then realising how close he was if you did that.
Your comment made him chuckle, "Yeah, I know. Come on," and nodded for you to get in. After making sure that you were sitting comfortably, he took his hand away from the upper doorframe where he had placed his hand as you had lowered your head to get in and closed the door to get to the driver's side of the car.
The short drive to the restaurant was spent quietly, listening to the sounds that the radio blessed you with. It was when you arrived at the restaurant, parking in front of it, when the nerves suddenly hit you. Wonwoo was about to step out, but you reached out to hold onto his forearm,
"Wait," you stopped him. His head snapped to you, glancing at you with worry filling his eyes. Before he could ask you what was going on, you continued your rant, "We should've thought about this better. W-we know nothing about each other. That's not what a couple does. Couples know each other inside and out. I don't even know what your favourite colour is, o-or... or your favourite food, or movie, or whatever. How the hell am I supposed to pretend to be a good girlfriend that your mother likes when I don't even know that stuff."
Suddenly you felt the warmth of his dry hand on top of yours as he moved it away from his arm to get a good hold of your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Probably black, anything without fish, but I really like Pizza, and Me Before You," he grinned, "anything else?" You looked into his eyes, waiting for him to laugh at your reaction as you continued to stare at him with a scared facial expression being replaced by a surprised one. You didn't have time to answer as the doors of the car were opened, revealing staff members of the restaurant that were waiting to be able to park the car.
Wonwoo let go of your hand and exited the vehicle, leaving you in the car too hesitant to get out. With a soft whine, you got out as well, clutching onto your bag tightly, leaving the jacket on the seat, not thinking about bringing it along. The young CEO was already waiting for you, standing patiently on the side. He took a step closer, and as soon as he was right next to you, he opened his arm, offering you to interlock yours with his. Without wasting another second, you just as he asked without using his words. You had been in a similar position before. The way you were standing next to each other wasn't foreign to you. 
Only a second later, you managed to feel just as comfortable as you did on the night of the event you had attended together. You also remembered that you had to be convincing, so interlacing your arms with each other but still standing enough far away from each other for another person to fit in between you, wasn't going to look very convincing. You took a step closer and let your other hand come up, holding onto his bicep. He didn't even budge. This felt natural. Maybe a little too natural. But you didn't mind. It felt nice with him next to you. Even walking up the stairs to the extremely fancy-looking restaurant didn't make you feel anxious. Not with him by your side.
At the entrance, the host for tonight greeted you with a smile. Wonwoo let him know about the reservation of his mother and their last name and you were let in, being brought to the table, where Jeon Chaewon was already waiting for you.
"Being on time was never one of your strong points, Wonwoo," she commented as she stood up, thanking the waiter.
He cleared his throat and freed your arm, making his way closer to her to hug her, "I'm sorry, mum, we couldn't leave the office earlier."
"I know, I was just kidding," she assured him with a chuckle, passing her son to walk up to you, her arms open wide, happy to greet you as well. "I'm so glad you managed to make time for this," she whispered into your ear before letting go and ushering you to take a seat at the table for four. You expected Wonwoo to sit down on the opposite side of the table but were surprised when he joined you on your side, taking the seat right next to you, while his mum sat down right in front of you.
"And," she started a conversation, "How was your work day?" You felt Wonwoo's eyes on you and could tell he had looked at you out of the corner of your eye, but you kept your head low, pretending to look at your nails, in hopes of him answering. You have nothing to be anxious about, you tried telling yourself. Even if you were to mess up, you were sure at this point that Wonwoo would manage to cover it up perfectly.
"And how was it for you, Y/N?" You looked up at the mention of your name, meeting the kind eyes of Chaewon as she smiled at you.
You nodded and managed to get a quick glance at Wonwoo, before looking back at her, "Good. All good. Nothing very interesting happened, to be honest."
You were thankful when the waiter arrived with the wine card, ready to take your order.
-
"So... have you been talking to your father?" Chaewon suddenly asked while the three of you were enjoying the third course of the night, the dessert. Wonwoo dropped the fork, making you direct your attention towards him. Your eyes immediately fell on the clenched fist on the table. He was clearly clenching it hard by the way his knuckles were slowly but surely turning white. Like a reflex, you put reached forward to place your hand on his and took it off the table. At first, you wanted to let your hands just hang in the air underneath the table, but out of comfort, you let them drop into your lap. Thanks to the smaller size of the table, you were sitting close enough without it looking awkward. Naturally, you let your thumb run across his knuckles, feeling his hand slowly getting looser.
He took a deep breath, "Why on earth would I be talking to him?"
"I don't know," his mother was quick to defend herself, "I was just surprised when he called me and randomly started telling me about you two. I was wondering how on earth he knew about that and thought that you maybe have told him."
"And why did you pick up the phone when he called, you know-" he started, but she interrupted him
"And you know how he reacts when I don't answer calls. I know you said to ignore them, but I can't do that to a man with a temper like his." Her words sounded familiar... very familiar. You scrunched your eyebrows but got distracted when you suddenly felt your hand getting engulfed in someone else's. Looking down, you found that Wonwoo had freed his hand of the tight fist he had formed, and replaced it with holding onto yours. But gently. Very gently. He wasn't squeezing it but keeping it tight enough to make sure you wouldn't let go. Now it was his turn to let his thumb travel across your fingers, brushing over them softly, almost sending a calm shover through your body as your eyes were fixed on your lap.
"But no," Wonwoo continued, "I'm not talking to him. And I won't," he looked over at you, catching you with your head still low, "He found out about us because Y/N's dad invited us to a dinner where he also brought him. Along with some other guests."
Chaewon nodded, "I see... so you've already met him, Y/N?" Directing the question at you. You lifted your head again, trying to block out the warmth of the other hand that was still holding onto yours.
"Yeah," you quickly answered her, "But... I didn't- I mean, we didn't... really talk to each other. I just saw him. From across the table."
She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Of course. He can't even introduce himself to his son's girlfriend."
"Mum," Wonwoo suddenly mentioned her, his voice in the warning tone that you had already heard before.
By then you had realised that the topic of Jeon Jinyoung was something that you should avoid at all costs. It seemed to be a very touchy subject no one wanted to elaborate on. But that's what made it even more interesting to you... But you also knew that this wasn't the time nor space to find out more about the man Wonwoo called father. 
"So," you changed the subject, catching both of the other people at the table off guard, "How long are you staying, Chaewon?"
Her eyes lit up at the question, and the corners of her mouth curled up. She put the cutlery down and her elbows on the table to place her chin into her hands, "Well, I was planning on only staying until tomorrow. I really wanted to meet you and catch up with Wonwoo, but I would love to stay a little longer. Maybe we could do something together." You didn't expect that to come out of her mouth. Before you could answer, Wonwoo bet you to it,
"Where are you staying?" His eyebrows were scrunched up as he eyes his mother.
"I rented a room in a hotel, it's only for a night, but I'm sure I can extend-"
"Why didn't you call me? You could've stayed at my place" He didn't even let her finish. You felt his hand clench around your fingers again, making you put your other hand on top of it, hoping to ease him just a little bit.
Chaewon sighed with a smile, "Because I didn't want to disturb you two. And it's only for a night anyways."
"Mum," Wonwoo shook his head, clearly annoyed at her answer, "We don't- you wouldn't disturb us, please. Cancel that room, you're staying with me."
"You have one bedroom, Wonwoo," she reminded him, using her strict mother voice.
He nodded, "Yeah, I'm gonna take the couch."
"You can't just decide that Wonwoo, what about Y/N, you didn't even ask her," this made you shake your head immediately.
"Oh, no, no," you were quick to stop whatever was going to come out of either one of their mouths next, "We- we...," you glanced over at your pretend-boyfriend, who just kept an amused facial expression. He was enjoying this. "We don't- we don't live together. You can stay with him, it's no worries. Don't worry," you finished your rant with a nervous chuckle, feeling a tight squeeze from his hand, making you want to slap it away, but at the same time, you enjoyed the warmth of it and decided to keep it that way.
"But still, Y/N," she started again, "If you wanted to stay the night together, I don't want to-"
"Mum," Wonwoo repeated again with the same strict voice, "Don't. Please, I'm asking you to cancel that room. Or I will."
Chaewon looked at her son for a few seconds, silence overcoming the table before she sighed, "Jesus...," she shook her head as she got out her phone, going after the CEO's ask, "I don't know how you can handle him, Y/N."
You laughed nervously, tucking a strand of her behind your ear, looking down once again, "It's okay," hoping she hadn't caught it since your voice came out quieter than you intended to, and you weren't sure if there was an appropriate answer to her comment. But somebody else had heard it and chuckled at your words.
-
After assuring you over and over again that he in fact wasn't too drunk to drive home, you were on your way to Wonwoo's car. Somehow, and the alcohol in your system had definitely a lot to do with it, you let yourself get talked into coming along to Wonwoo's apartment by Chaewon, who wanted to spend some more time with you and, more importantly, drink more wine with you. You knew it wasn't a good idea. You would regret something about that decision, you were sure of it. But you had to play along, as Wonwoo reminded you. It'll be easy.
Thankfully, Jeon Chaewon was, very unlike her son, a bright and bubbly person, who somehow always found a topic to talk about. She filled the car ride with questions and topics, keeping you entertained and your worries in the far back of your brain. Talking to her seemed to become easier and easier with each minute you spent together. Like the comfort of a good mother, she made you feel at ease. The anxiety from the beginning of the date was long gone when you had reached Wonwoo's apartment and went up. But something else replaced those nerves. The memories. The memories of THAT night. The night that had started so well and ended dramatically, leaving you in anger and sadness. And the bad started right here in his apartment. You tried to push the reminders of that night away and begged for them to not return for as long as you were there. 
Right after you had entered the flat, Wonwoo informed his mother of the location of the wine and assured her to take whatever she wanted.
"Same goes for you too, of course," he turned his body towards you while he was looking down at his phone, sending a message to Hongseok to pick up Chaewon's bags from the hotel and bring them to his place.
You nodded hesitantly and didn't even bend down to get your shoes off, "This doesn't feel right," you commented quietly, hoping for the other woman to not overhear your conversation. 
This made him lift his head and put the phone into the back pocket of his pants as he got rid of his suit jacket, "What doesn't?"
"This," you motioned around, "You don't find it weird that I'm here?" You couldn't hold it back anymore.
Wonwoo grinned, "Well, you've been here before, so..."
"Yeah, and we know how that ended," you snapped back, not realising how sharp it sounded by accident. He nodded understandingly,
"Do you want to go home? Hongseok can bring you once he's here?"
You shook your head quickly, "No, stop, I told you, I don't want him to bring me anywhere."
"You're not coming in? Don't you want another glass too?" Chaewon looked around the corner into the hallway, three glasses in one hand and a bottle of white wine in the other.
"No no, don't worry, I'm coming," you assured her, making her nod happily and disappear again. And once again, your mouth was quicker than your brain. You closed your eyes and let out an annoyed huff of breath. The sound of a deep chuckle made you open them again, coming to sight with a clearly amused Wonwoo.
"I can't say no to her. Why can't I say no to her?" It was more of a rhetorical question, but he still answered with a smile.
"It's impossible, I know." Suddenly, he kneeled down in front of you and before you could question his actions, you felt his fingers move against your ankle. "Hold onto me," he tapped his shoulders, and you did as you were told.
He opened the clasp of your shoes, letting you step out of them slowly while you steadied yourself with your hand on his shoulder. You looked down. Your eyes fell on how gentle he was freeing your feet from your shoes, how careful he was with the buckle he had to open. "If you start feeling uncomfortable, let me know, and I'll get you home, alright?" 
You nodded softly and answered him with a whispered, "Yeah." After he got up again, he also reached for your bag, took it off you and brought it over to the dining table, placing it on top of it. Just like he did THAT night- no, stop. Stop thinking about that. Different times, different scenarios.
Chaewon was already waiting for you excitedly, gliding the glasses over the countertop, making it easier for you to reach them. You followed her into the kitchen and got a hold of one of the glasses, just like she did. The two of you waiter for Wonwoo to join you and clinked your glasses the second he got a hold of his.
-
Two wine bottles later, Chaewon had announced that she would be getting ready to go to bed, leaving Wonwoo and you alone on the couch in the living room. At this point, a blind person could have been able to tell how intoxicated you were. Your makeup was long gone, your hair had somehow gotten messed up, and you forgot at what point you thought it was a good idea to open the first two buttons of your blouse.
The two of you were sitting close together on the couch, his fireplace lit in the background behind the dining table while the TV was turned off. The room was as quiet as it could be, only the sounds of your breathing filled the room. 
"I'm gonna go," it was then when you decided to stand up, quickly realising that that hadn't been the best idea as you stumbled slightly. Wonwoo's reflexes were quick to catch you from falling back, holding you until he was sure that you weren't going to trip over. His hands left your body as you turned around to face him, "I'm gonna head home." His hand quickly reached up again, getting a grasp of yours, catching you off guard and making you turn towards him again. Your eyes fell down to your intertwined hands as he spoke,
"You can stay." But you shook your head, regretting it right away,
"No, I have to go home." You wanted to turn and walk towards the front door, but his grip on your hand tightened. Your eyes interlocked when you gazed at him again.
"Stay," he spoke softly, "Please." His eyes were glassy from the alcohol, and even his cheeks had turned into a softer shade of pink, and you couldn't take your eyes off him. This side of him was new to you. Not only drunk but also... this. So... soft.
You shook your head, "Wonwoo, you're drunk-"
"I'm not that drunk, trust me," he told you, still not letting go of your hand, but rather tugging on it gently, making you slightly stumble closer to him.
"You don't even realise what you're saying, Wonwoo-" a deep sigh coming from him made you stop. The young CEO threw his head back, looking up at the ceiling, letting out a deep but somewhat sad chuckle,
"Jesus..."
"What?" You wanted to know, stepping just a bit closer, by your own choice - you told yourself the alcohol had taken over your body, making decisions for you. You were lying to yourself, and you knew that.
Wonwoo tilted his head slightly, just enough to meet your gaze. He looked at you with a smile. A warm smile while he let his head rest against the back of the couch.
"You really don't know, huh?" If you weren't as drunk as you were, you could've sworn he sounded desperate - like he was about to wine. As if it hurt.
"Don't know what?" His question confused you. 
He kept the lazy grin on his lips.
"That I'm on my fucking knees for you, Y/N."
He didn't even care to look away. But neither did you. The two of you continued your conversation with your eyes because that's all you could get yourself to do after hearing those words from him.
I'm on my fucking knees for you.
"Everything you do," he suddenly continued, pulling you the last bit closer and sitting up straight, so he'd have you standing right between his legs. With his hands on your hips, he looked up at you, "Everything you say. I swear you have me wrapped around your fucking finger, and you don't even realise it."
You tried to look away. You tried so hard. But your body wouldn't let you. Your hands found his.
"Wonwoo, you're drunk-" No, he wasn't. You knew that. He had half as much to drink as you and had a much higher alcohol tolerance. You ignored him shaking his head. "You don't know what you're saying." Yes, he did. He wasn't intoxicated enough to forget or not realise what he had let come out of his mouth.
"On my knees, Y/N," he spoke again, his voice still as quiet as before. He pushed himself up, standing only a paper width away from you, towering over you as he cradled your face in his hands, "And I can't fucking do this."
"Do what?" You only let out a whisper, you didn't think you could've spoken any louder even if you had wanted to.
"This fake dating shit," he sighed with a shake of his head, "I thought it was a good idea. I have no idea why the fuck I thought it would be a good idea. But this is just bullshit. I can't do it."
He spoke with so much sincerity. If his hands hadn't been on your face, your legs would've given in already. Just to make sure, you wouldn't crumble at whatever words were going to come from him, you reached out to grab onto his arms.
"Wonwoo... I...," you wanted to say something so desperately. You wanted to shout something, to say something pure from your heart, but something was holding you back. You just couldn't get it out. "I don't..."
He shook his head, "I know that you might not understand or feel something like this," and looked down before meeting your gaze again, "And it's okay, Y/N. Don't feel obligated to say something now. I just needed you to know because I don't know for how much longer I could've done this." It truly felt like you weren't the only one that was about to fall apart right then and there. The way he was running his fingers over your cheek, staring into your eyes, never even wanting to break the eye contact, he must have felt a similar way. You knew there was no way any proper words would leave your mouth. Wonwoo had just... confessed to you, and you didn't know what to do. Your body suddenly shut down. Was he really saying this because he meant it? Does he need something? Does he want something? Why else would he just say that? But the words he had used...
On my fucking knees.
"You're going to regret that tomorrow," you spoke honestly. It didn't feel real. It didn't sound like something that would ever come from someone like Wonwoo. He was going to regret it. And you didn't want him to.
"I've never regretted anything in my life," he assured you with a soft facial expression, "And I could never regret this."
You let your actions, controlled by the alcohol in your system, speak for themselves and just threw yourself against his body, smashing your lips against his, making him tumble back onto the sofa. The second he was sat, you got onto his lap, wrapping your legs around each side of his hips. Your hands were on his hard chest, feeling the muscles move underneath his white button-down. His rough hands were still on your face, bringing you in closer and deeper if that was even possible anymore. Within only a few seconds and before you could tell them to stop, your hands were travelling down his body, going for the belt opening, but suddenly another hand stopped you. Your kiss got interrupted.
"No," Wonwoo look into your eyes, "Trust me, I really do want to take you in every goddamn way possible, Y/N. But you're drunk."
You quickly shook your head, "No, I'm not, I swear. Should I walk in a straight line?" You were about to get up, but his grip on your hips stopped you.
"Not tonight, Y/N. Not here, not now. I want to do this right." You weren't sure why exactly he had meant, but the only thing that mattered was that his voice was like a freaking melody to your ears. You could've come right then and there if we were being honest.
"I promise you," he continued, standing up with your legs wrapped around his torso as he carried you into the kitchen, "If you ask me to, I will take you in every way you could possibly imagine... But I can't do that now," and sat you down on the kitchen counter.
His hands were back on your face, brushing over your cheek and getting some hair out of your face to reveal your forehead. He leaned forward, and before you knew it, he had planted a kiss right above your eyebrows. You softly gasped at the soft touch. You didn't remember when the last could've been that you had a man touch you that gently. You tried to think of if anyone had ever touched you that gently. You couldn't think of a single time.
A deep breath left his lips once he was face to face with you again, "I really needed you to know..."
"But what am I supposed to do now? I don't know... what to say..." You could feel the slightest of quivers in the back of your throat, but you pushed them down with a gulp. It wasn't the time for tears.
His rough finger was laying softly against your cheek as he shook his head, "You don't have to say anything, princess. Don't say anything."
-
The two of you had fallen into a comfortable silence while you were still sitting on the counter, sipping on the tea Wonwoo had just made for you, while he was working on making himself a cup of coffee. It was three in the morning, who cares. By now, you had definitely sobered up a comfortable amount, and tea seemed to have helped you as the world wasn't spinning anymore. But one word from Wonwoo, and that could be changed very quickly once again.
"There's something I do regret," he suddenly spoke, making you look up, only to find his gaze already on your form.
You were confused, "Huh?"
Wonwoo filled up his cup and walked up to you, setting the cup down right next to you, "Earlier I told you there's nothing I regret in life," he took a deep breath, "But I lied. There is one thing."
"What is it?" You carefully wondered, wanting to know, but by his reaction, you got scared for the answer.
“I told her I hated her,” he took a sip of his coffee.
"Hate who?" You sat your own cup down, now invested in his story. He was opening up to you. For whatever reason... but you didn't question it. You were thankful.
 "My mum," he simply put it, not daring to look you in the eye, "“Without even knowing what was going on. That’s the one thing I do regret. That I regret the most in my life.”
“But everyone says that at some point to their parents without really thinking about it,” you tried to ease the tension, but you quickly realised how much deeper this conversation was about to be by Wonwoo’s demeanour and dead look in his eyes.
“Not that time," he lifted his head to glance at you, "She left. I didn’t know why and I just told her, I hated her when she had every right to leave that god-forbidden family.”
“Why did she leave?” You carefully wondered, genuinely concerned.
He took a deep breath and put both hands on the counter, and let his head drop forward slightly. Your hands were begging you to touch his shoulders in comfort.
“My father is a terrible man. Always has been, always will be. He didn’t care about my mother. Not in the slightest. The way he talked about her… is just… disgusting. But I was so young I didn’t realise just how bad it was.” He gulped, “He’s everything I don’t want to be. When I found out what had happened, I promised myself to be better than him in every way possible… he belittled my mother until she couldn’t take it anymore. I saw what it did to her. She just kept accepting it. She never defended herself. Not once. And that just made him keep going. That fucking bastard…”
“Wonwoo, I’m s-“
“I don’t need your pity,” he stopped you softly, “I wasn’t the one who suffered.” He took another big gulp, downing the rest of the warm liquid in one go even though it was probably still way too hot. That gave you time to answer, but you couldn’t find the right words.
He turned his head to you, finding your gaze quickly, “That’s why I don’t want you to take shit like that. You let yourself get talked down way too much.”
“I do NOT-“
“Yes, you do. Men make comments all the time and you just accept them. I mean, with some at least, and you really shouldn’t let anyone talk to you like that.”
“I-… well…”
He raised his eyebrows, “You take so much that gets thrown at you. Every misogynistic comment, every harsh statement. From those bitch ass men. You shouldn’t let stuff like that just slide. Not even from asshole men like me.”
You couldn’t help but smile, “But you never belittled me.”
He nodded, “Maybe not that, but I did make you do some of the crappiest work someone could do.”
“And I did defend myself because of that!” You exclaimed, but he just shook his head, “Not enough, Y/N.”
You squinted after being quiet for a few seconds, “Are you trying to teach me about feminism right now?”
He let a chuckle escape his lips, laced with a hint of sadness, “I guess I’m trying,” before locking eyes with you again, coming closer, “This might be a wild guess, but your father doesn’t faze me as one to talk to you about stuff like that.”
You smiled, “Your wild guess might be right, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to defend myself.”
The two of you sat in another round of silence for a few more seconds before you continued, looking down at your fingers, “My father never wanted a daughter. I could tell that ever since I was little.” You sighed and tightened your grip on Wonwoo's hand the second he grasped yours, “He would kill to have a son like you," a salty chuckle tumbled from your lips, "Hell, he would kill me with his own hands if he was guaranteed a son like you.”
“Don’t say that,” Wonwoo’s voice was stern and strict, not liking a single word of what you had just said.
“It’s the truth,” you smiled sadly, feeling tears prickling in your eyes. “And I never wanted it either. I never wanted to take that path of work, but I didn’t have a choice. It was only ever us two, so when he suddenly had the idea of building up his own company, I had to help. I was what? 16? A 16-year-old girl shouldn’t have to worry about finances or the income of her father’s company and his business partners and whatnot. I didn’t attend most school events because I had to help him. No excursions, no prom.” You couldn’t help but to sniffle as you looked out of the window on the right, “That office... is the result of my work. I built it. Not him. Out of him wanting to do this and that became him telling me to do this and that. That prick didn’t even lift a finger most of the time. Everything there…” a sigh left your lips, your eyes down, fixed on your smaller hand in his, “That’s why I was so mad when he sold the company… to you.” Once you looked up, smiling sadly at the man next to you, you found him already looking at you, but with much more agony than before. “All of a sudden everything I worked for… was gone… ripped out of my hands without even telling me about it.”
“I’m sorry-“ Wonwoo began but you shook your head,
“I also don’t need your pity," and repeated his words.
“That’s not my pity. This is me being genuinely sorry about not knowing about this and taking everything away from you.” Suddenly, he brought your hand up to his lips, brushing his over your knuckles, placing the softest possible peck onto them. You didn't pull back. You couldn't.
“You didn’t take everything away from me… at least I’m still here…”
“You’re doing great.” He assured you all of a sudden, feeling like you needed to hear this and oh, how right he was, “You’re amazing at your job. And everyone would be more than lucky to have you work for them or with them.”
“Thanks.” And the tears fell. That was the first time someone has ever said that to you. Telling you, you did well.
You're doing great.
Wonwoo’s hand carefully reached out to touch the tears on your cheek, wiping them away softly as he smiled, “I guess fathers are just a little fucked up.”
You giggled, looking to the side to catch a glimpse of him, “A little?”
“Just a little bit,” he smiled back.
A few moments were spent in silence. Another comfortable silence. Neither of you had to say anything. You were just happy to be there. Together. There for each other.
“I’m sorry for how I treated you," Wonwoo broke the quietness.
You smiled and shrugged, "Well… now that I know about your intentions, I guess it’s fine. But… you really gotta work on how you’re trying to help others.”
“I guess I do,” he chuckled, lowering his head to the floor.
“Because… I mean, I honestly don’t think it really helped the feminist in me.” You stated nervously, chuckling at the situation. He nodded, making you smile. “I don’t know how feminist girl boss it is to fuck their boss in a janitor’s closet at the first event they attend together.”
He grinned, “And in his office, and almost in his apartment. Twice-“
“Alright!” You slapped his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to get a new hold of your hand.
“I think that’s pretty feminist girl boss of you.” He stopped for a second before adding, “I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth.” 
His comment made you laugh. Genuinely laugh. Maybe it was the last bit of alcohol in your system, but he actually made you laugh.
He looked at you wide-eyed, pleasantly surprised by the sudden exclamation of you. He did that. He made you laugh.
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soft4gguk · 2 years
Text
"boyfriend of my dreams" pt. 3
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Pairing: jungkook x reader
Genre: college au. pwp. smut. strangers to lovers (or are they?)
Word count: 8.6k
Warnings: . angst, angst, angst :(, oc mean agenda (pls dont give up on her yet!!!), jungkook truly best boy, oral (m. receiving), fingering, lil dry humping, protected sex!, multiple orgasms, aftercare *sobs* want him so bad y'all.
Author’s note: I loved writing this. I got so immersed in it and I couldn't stop. I love this jungkook and I love their dynamic, even if it literally pains me to write it sometimes. I listened to my ultimate sad Taylor swift songs playlist whilst writing this. and 'this love' played on loop more times than I'll admit - but you'd have to read to know just how much. thank u for being here, I appreciate it more than I'll ever be able to say. I love u guys sm. <3333 xx & loads of o's.
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
pt. 3
Jungkook’s head spins – he can quite literally feel the heaviness that comes with it, and it engulfs his entire body in that hazy feeling. His head hits the wall, eyes closing as his chest heaves, running a hand through his hair. You don’t waste any time, too desperate to feel his skin on yours, fingers skimming up his thighs. Your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth as they inch closer to the waistband of his grey sweatpants. You haven’t touched him yet, so it’s unclear to you if he’s hard, but the outline of his cock through the thin material makes your mouth water. It’s when you hook your fingers inside the elastic that Jungkook’s eyes snap open, looking down at you. You’re looking at him, a darkened gaze adorning your pretty eyes and even with the slight touch of your knuckles at his hipbone, you’re driving him crazy enough to almost not question this whole thing.
Almost. 
“Wait, wait…” his voice is gentle, soft.
“What?”
He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why he stopped you, or what he wants to say. All he knows is that there’s a franticness about your actions that doesn’t feel quite right to him. Like you’re running from something that would be too uncomfortable to walk on. 
“Are you- is everything okay?” Is all he can muster instead.
“I was just about to give you head, and you stopped me to small talk. I think I should be asking you that.”
You get up from your kneeling position on the floor, ego clearly bruised as you cross your arms in front of your chest – an act that seems childish to Jungkook and it’s then he’s glad he stopped you. 
“I’m sorry. I- fuck. I want you to- do that. Very much so. It’s just… I don’t get you, ___.”
“What do you want to get? What is there to get?” You grow exasperated, eyes avoiding his. 
“I don’t know, that’s the thing. Do you want to come in?”
“No.”
“Okay,” he says, sounding apologetic. His voice holds a world of patience that you could never hold, or have received, in your life. “We can talk here.”
“I don’t want to talk, to be honest. So, in that case, I better get going.” You turn around, still fighting yourself so as not to look at him. So as not to meet his eyes. it’s a combination of embarrassment and that same lingering feeling that you can’t quite put words on. That feeling you don’t intend on putting words on.
“You’re gorgeous. And funny. Even if it makes you a little mean sometimes. I’ve wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you-”
You interrupt him, your piercing gaze landing on his tender one. “When? When I was trying to fuck your best buddy?”
“No. I, uh, first saw you at a party. At Yoongi’s I’m pretty sure.”
“So, what was it?”
“What do you mean?”
“What did they say to make you want me?”
“I- it wasn’t like that.”
You’re not getting anywhere with this conversation. At least nowhere that you find useful anyways. You didn’t come here to talk about feelings, much less the root of them. You sigh, rolling your eyes and feigning defeat. 
Your strategy changes.
“Listen, I came here because I owe you one.” There’s a hint of a smile playing at your lips.
“It doesn’t work like that,” he says.
“Okay, then. It’s just simple generosity. I want to fuck you. I can’t get it out of my head, so might as well get it out of my system.”
His eyes widen – it shocks him to hear you say it so bluntly like that. 
“I-”
You take a step closer to him. “Jungkook?”
“Yeah?”
“I changed my mind. I do want to come in,” your voice is sultry and he knows you’re playing. He knows you don’t want to ‘come in’ to talk, like he propositioned the first time. He’s also aware that he should do better, stand his ground. Be smarter than this. But, 
He nods. 
Your lips are on his and you kiss him exactly the way he wants you to. Slow and deep, coaxing him into it before your tongue is grazing his bottom lip as he parts his mouth, granting you entrance as your tongues meet. 
“This is all I could think about,” you say, lips never parting from his. Your tone is sensual and it buzzes electricity all through his body. “Ever since you left my car, all I could think about was kissing you.”
He doesn’t know if you’re being genuine. More so, he doesn’t know if it’s your heart or your body speaking. With the way your chest flushes to his, a little moan escaping your mouth at the feel of his taut muscles grazing your nipples, he figures it’s probably the latter. 
“Yeah?” he says, brain too foggy with lust.
“Yeah- I want you so bad.” It’s a whisper.
“Fuck.”
He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you to him. You give a little jump, wrapping your legs around his waist, holding tightly to him, wanting to feel him everywhere. He walks backwards, his free hand squeezing your ass from underneath your skirt. It’s so short, granting him easy access as he kneads the flesh. You’re soft and plump all over and now he’s the one moaning into your mouth. 
The back of his knees hit the couch and he lowers his body, sitting down with you still on top of him, straddling his lap. You let out a giggle, giddy and excited. Pleased from getting exactly what you wanted. You grind your hips tentatively against his, emitting a hiss that passes through his reddened lips. They’re so red and pretty from your kisses and bites; you let yourself stare at him, basking in the way his eyes fight to stay open. He lets you stare – he lets you look at him, cheeks flushing at your intense gaze but suddenly confident, so different like this. You circle your hips and a raspy moan leaves him, fingers digging into your hips, head hitting the back of the couch and eyes shutting close. It feels so good, even through the layers, and the mere idea of being inside you drives him wild. 
“Jungkookie,” you say, voice low. 
“Hm,” he says, eyes back to you. 
“I’m gonna blow you now.”
“Shit,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Yeah- yes. Please.”
You palm the center of his chest, pushing him back with enough force to snap him into the moment. You make your way down, kneeling before him, sitting pretty between his legs, thighs thick and strong on your fingers and you feel your mouth water at the anticipation. Not wanting to waste any more time, your fingers hook inside the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling down. He’s not wearing anything under and you have to fight the urge not to roll your eyes – this time from pleasure, not annoyance. 
His palms push into the couch, fighting his pleasure to keep his eyes open so he can take you in – take you in through every step of the way. The moment his sweatpants come past his hips, your eyes zero in on his cock. He’s big and you don’t fight it when your eyes widen at the sight of him. But beyond that, he’s hard and pretty. Probably the prettiest in your book, a vein running from base to tip, leaking a bead of precum. He hisses the moment you wrap your hand around him, so overwhelmed from the feeling it almost feels like he’s running away from you, sinking into the couch further. He feels hot and heavy in your hold and you give a tentative stroke, gaze locked on his as you let out a little scoff. 
“You know, Jungkook…,” you start. “You don’t necessarily carry yourself in relation to your attributes.”
You’re using big words on him and he’d be lying if he said he was following. All he can think of is how warm and soft your hand feels wrapped around his cock, the way your lips move as you speak – red and plump, and he burns in anticipation thinking about how they’re going to look wrapped around him. 
“W-what do you mean?”
You don’t answer his question right away, taking him by surprise as you lower your head and wrap your pretty lips around his tip, tongue coming out to tease his slit before circling his head, eyes never leaving him. His eyes widen for a second before his lust wins the race, tightly shutting them close as he throws his head back in pleasure with a throaty moan. You take him all the way in, a quick motion that has him hitting the back of your throat and it feels so fucking good, Jungkook swears he’ll never feel this way again. His hand wraps around your neck, looking up at you with hazy eyes. 
“Fuck,” he whispers, his teeth releasing the plumpness of his bottom lip.  
You smile, pleased with yourself as you grant him pleasure, mouthful of him still as you say, “your cock is so big.”
It’s filthy. Your words, the fact that you still have him in your mouth, drool dripping down your chin and eyes watery. Your words vibrate against him and it makes his cock throb, a whine passing his lips. 
“Thanks,” is all he can manage.
“You’re welcome,” you say – another lusty smile his way. You’re so pretty like this. Scratch that, you’re so pretty always, but the image before him ticks all the boxes of the most epic wet dream he’d ever had. Fuck, it’s so good he doesn’t even think his imagination ever ran this wild. 
You resume, tongue traveling upwards as it follows that vein, it pulses for you, encouraging you to go lower, your throat closing around the head of his cock. His hand travels to your cheek as he moans, caressing softly – a little impatiently, like he’s trying to ground himself. Your name leaves his lips in a whisper as you continue your obliterating pace, the noises filling the space lewdly. 
His head draws back and his teeth sink into the pink flesh just as your tongue licks tentatively at his frenulum, the overpowering sensations making him hiss, balls feeling heavy at the wake of his pleasure. Your eyes never leave him, catching every single face he makes, every single noise you pull out of him with ease. It’s turning you on, how receptive he is – easy and malleable in your hands. Your mouth releases him with a pop, your fist tight around his shaft as you jerk him. Your lips travel to his balls, his big round eyes widening even further as you suck one into your mouth, carefully rolling it with your tongue. He groans, hips involuntarily fucking into your hand, seeking speed. You grant it, hand going faster, your thumb teasing his slit on the upstroke. 
Your tongue hits sweet spots he’d never imagine would illicit such reaction from him, let alone strip him of all inhibitions. You suck between his balls, your mouth gentle but firm as your tongue sneaks out to lick a thick stripe all the way up his shaft before you’re enclosing your lips around him once again. His balls feel tight, tummy sinking at the feeling as his legs begin to shake. You encourage this reaction by sinking your nails in his thighs, leaving a trail of red marks on his skin. 
“F-fuck. Slow- slow down,” he hisses, bottom lip trembling to the rhythm of his fingers on your cheek. 
“Why?” You tease, eyes feigning innocence. 
“I’m gonna cum if you keep going like that- fuck,” his words drag with the way your tongue circles his tip, his gaze locked on the sensuality of the action, the way you make sure he’s watching. You look a mess, so fucked out already and he catches a tear that falls from your eyes, his thumb gentle on your skin. 
“And what’s so wrong with that, Jungkookie? Hm?”
“I want to fuck you.” Not an ounce of hesitation in his voice as he keeps scanning your face, gaze dancing from your eyes to your lips, indecisive on where to look. 
It makes your pussy throb, to hear him talk like that. You smirk, holding onto his thighs as you push yourself off from your kneeling position on the floor, landing right back into his lap as you straddle him once again. 
“Yeah,” you sigh dreamily, searching for his lips, nails running down his scalp. “Yeah, I want you to fuck me.” Your words get lost in the kiss, but the way he touches you lets you know you’ve made yourself clear.  His hands snake under the thin fabric of your top, holding onto your waist; his touch is firm yet doesn’t lack that tenderness he often holds, almost timidly making its way up. Your skin is soft under his fingers and he feels the way you shiver, goosebumps forming on your skin. His kiss only deepens, big hands gripping your waist tight, bringing you closer to him before his big hands are cupping your tits. He moans as he feels the plump flesh and the sweet sound makes you buck your hips into his.
Jungkook sighs, feeling bold enough to discard of your top, mouth dropping to your nipple. His wet tongue circling around it once before he sucks, your back arching to give him better access as your grip tightens in his hair, pulling a little, letting him know he’s making you feel good. So good.
“Get me ready,” you pant, but he seems to be too lost in his ministrations. “Get me ready for your fat cock.”
He looks back up at you, kissing you fervently, groaning against your lips as his hand travels down and under that pleated skirt that’s been driving him wild for weeks now. Maybe even months. He feels how wet you are through your panties and he doesn’t hesitate when he sneaks two of his fingers in, coating them in your slick. He teases you a little, putting pressure on your clit before he’s fucking his fingers into you. You get even tighter as you clench around them, moaning into his mouth at the stretch. It feels electric already and he hasn’t even moved. He scissors his fingers inside of you, coaxing your snug walls, getting you ready as you requested. 
Your hand travels down, holding onto his wrist, stalling his move inside of you for a moment. He looks confused, gaze on yours waiting on your next move. You begin to circle your hips, small and sloppy movements over his fingers, fucking yourself on them. You sigh, closing your eyes when you feel the way he hooks his digits inside of you, immediately reaching your sweet spot. 
“Fuck, that’s so hot.” Jungkook’s cock jerks at the sight and you can feel it against your knuckles, hot and heavy – ready for you. 
“I’m so wet, I’m making a mess.” You look down at his hand, glossy and covered in your juices the more you move around. You’re crass with your words, but he can’t help sensing a little bit of suppleness in your tone, like you’re suddenly shy even though your actions scream far from. 
“Don’t care. Want you to make a mess, so fucking bad.” He groans, kissing you again – needier this time. Harsh, hungry. 
“I’m gonna cum.”
He hums against your lips, his free hand coming to hold your hip, stilling your movements as he takes over once more. Fingers pushing where he knows it makes you shudder and whine into his kiss, thumb circling your clit to finish throwing you over the edge. You shake in his hold, soft moans passing your lips, your grip on his wrist tightening, nails digging on his shoulder as you come down. 
“You’re so pretty.” And he wants to leave it at that, because it’s the simple truth. But he adds to the compliment, “when you cum. You’re so fucking pretty when you cum.”
You give him a little smile, it’s lazy and fucked out, your eyes glassy when you finally open them. You don’t answer, opting for kneeling over his lap, his fingers sliding out of you reluctantly, but he recovers quickly when he sees the way you take your panties off on wobbly legs, one after the other. 
“Want me to keep this on?” You ask, toying with the hem of your skirt.
He sighs dreamily, boyish smile on his face as he nods. “Yeah.”
You chuckle, rolling your eyes, feigning annoyance when in reality, you’re loving it. Not just this little filthy exchange, but everything. The noises he makes, his touch on your skin, the words that fall from his lips as he peaks pleasure. It’s doing more to you than just getting it out of your system, and before you can dwell on that thought long enough for it to scare you, you reach for his cock. 
He reaches for the brown bag he managed to throw next to him on the couch, grabbing the box of condoms you brought. It’s hard to focus on opening it with one shaky hand as you jerk him, biting your lip in anticipation. Once he finally manages, he retrieves one of the foil packages, bringing it between his teeth to rip it open. He looks down, mesmerized by the way your small hand barely wraps around him. He hisses when he feels the loss of it and you lean on his thighs to give him space, watching as he rolls the condom on. 
“Come here.”
You oblige, hands landing on his shoulders as you line yourself over him, the tip of his cock accidentally nudging your clit a little, making you whine. He smiles, nudging it again, purposely this time and teasing you with it until you’re squirming and pouting, clenching around nothing. You’re wet, more than ever, but he’s big and you should’ve probably bought lube, too. Then again, you had no idea he was hiding that in his pants, it would’ve been bold of you to assume. Almost like he’s reading your mind, he lets a string of saliva drop to his fingers, bringing it down to your entrance and then coating his cock with the same two fingers and both your juices combined. 
The first stretch burns, sharp and uncomfortably as his swollen tip passes through the tight ring of muscle. You both gasp, consumed in the feeling right away, almost as if the pain wasn’t there because you want more. And so, you brave it, sinking into his cock, inch by inch, mewling at the feeling, tears pricking your eyes. He can see you’re in discomfort, gently holding onto your waist so he can still you, biting his lip so hard when he feels the way you clench around him. Pushing his desire away for a second, he brings you closer to him. He cups your face with his hand, rubbing at your cheek, pecking your lips. He kisses the corner of your mouth, littering the affection all over until his lips are traveling from your jaw all the way to your neck. He kisses on that tender spot that makes you shiver; makes you feel so good and oddly comforted until all you can feel is his wet kisses on your skin. 
You start to move, slowly at first as you bounce on his cock, the whimpers that pass his lips encouraging you until the pain morphs into pleasure and your body instinctively ups the pace. It’s quick, the way your desperation grows. Hands reaching out for him, sinking into his hair, his jaw, the nape of his neck. Your teeth bite into his bottom lip, strong enough to illicit a sharp hiss from him. 
“Fuck, baby,” he pouts, eyes struggling to stay open. He keeps his gaze on you and it’s his dark eyes and a particular sway of your hips that has you whining in pleasure, eyes closing and mouth opening as the feeling takes over you. “Yeah, fuck. So pretty when I make you feel good.” 
“It feels so good, Jungkook.” You find your words, though your head feels foggy, dizzy with the way you can feel your tummy tighten when his hands grab at your ass, squeezing some before he begins to help you move on him. 
He can tell you’re close to tipping, reading your body – the way he’s literally fucking you speechless, which seems to be very contradictory to the way you usually carry yourself. Your cunt has a tight grip around his cock, and he can feel the way it pulses when you sink yourself on him to the brim. You stay there, feeling so full, head dropping to his shoulder as your hand palms your lower tummy and you swear you can feel him there. 
You’ve been riding him slowly, wanting to savour him like this, but your legs feel the burn nonetheless. Not to mention the fact that you’re so overwhelmed, body on high alert, his touch leaving a trail of static behind it. And he knows – he knows because quicker than you can register his movements, he’s flipping you onto your back on the couch. His cock slips out of you and your legs close at the loss of him, making him let out a cocky chuckle. You’d retaliate, but you lose focus when he starts to remove his white oversized shirt, ogling him unapologetically. Your legs fall to your sides, opening yourself for him once again, making him grin. You’d wipe it off his face, bring your hand to your heat and make him falter, muster up a cocky remark – but your own colors fail you, and you smile at him. It’s sweet and Jungkook doesn’t miss it and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart skip inside his heaving chest. You remove your skirt and he follows its path until it hits the floor, eyes then focused on what he wants the most – right in-between your thighs. 
His warm hands run over your thighs slowly and you plea, “don’t tease.”
 “Would never.”
But he does. Grabbing the base of his cock, giving a shallow thrust, wetting the head of his cock before he’s playing with your clit for a moment, making you squirm until he’s fucking into you once again. He repeats this a couple of times, eyes glued to where he teases you, traveling up to see your face break in pleasure. The angle is perfect and every time he sinks into you, he hits that spot, if only for a second before he has you mewling again by circling his tip on your clit. Your head sinks into the couch, fingers playing with your nipples lazily as you focus on what he does to you. 
“I could cum like this if you do it for long enough.” Your tone is airy and he can hear the smile in your voice. 
“Yeah?” His finger travels down, joining his cock as he pushes his digit inside the snug space of your walls for a second, collecting your slick before coating your bundle of nerves with it. You bite on your lip, nodding at him. “You wanna?”
You shake your head, holding onto his hips. “No. I want you to fuck my brains out now. Wanna feel you even after you’re done with me.”
And fuck if that isn’t enough encouragement for him to fall onto you, making you laugh a little as his forearms land on either side of your head, promptly finding his lips and kissing him deep. He moans into the kiss in sheer anticipation, your legs circling around his waist, heels sinking into his ass as you motion for him to move. 
He fucks you deep at first, testing the waters before he’s going faster – a bit harder, too, the more you moan into his ear, bury your nails down his back hard enough for him to wince in pain, pleasure, excitement even. He kisses you where he can, the crook of your neck as he breathes into it, your collarbones when desire wins and he redirects his gaze to where your bodies meet. You search for his lips and he gives them to you, sloppy and messy and wet when your tongues play with one another’s. 
“Fuck- right there, right there. Please don’t stop.”
His hips are angled just right and your legs close around his waist, feeling so close to the edge you sob a little. His face comes up, missing the warmth of your neck already but it’s all worth it when his eyes meet yours, your fucked out face twisted in pleasure. You look so naughty, not an ounce of shame in the way your face depicts a perfect picture in how good he’s fucking you. In how he’s about to make you cum so hard it’s already blinding you. He wants to kiss you but he doesn’t, too enthralled to look away. 
“Fuck, please cum for me. Cum all over my cock, baby. Hm?”
You can only nod, already so close and only pushed further by his words. Another sharp determined thrust and a whine hitches in your throat, tight coil exploding inside of you until your eyes are widening in pleasure, staring right into his as you come undone around him, under him, encased by him. He’s everywhere. Your body jerks in his hold, eyes finally closing as you sink deeper into the bliss, the way he moans with you as he feels you clench around him so tight sounds like music to your ears. 
His own release is not far from yours, mind and movements hazy with lust as he fucks you faster, focused on chasing his high as you whisper filthy praises in his ear. You tell him how good he just made you feel, how hard his cock feels inside of you, his name leaving your lips in the most paradoxical of ways. Sounding too sweet for what follows. 
“Nngh- shit, I’m cumming.” He groans, so close to your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine as you feel the way he throbs inside of you, releasing a second after. 
You let him come down, wait for his breathing to get back to normal, giving yourself a moment to steady yours as well. You don’t notice the way your nails are softly caressing his back, drawing lazy patters on his flushed skin, until he shudders, a soft laugh escaping him as he says, “it tickles.”
That’s when it hits you. Your plan to touch and go crumbling to pieces the moment you realize he’s too close – that he’s been too close this whole time. Not in a physical way, but in a you’re touching more than hands can reach type of way. The kind of sex that fucks with your brain too, not just your body. 
You grunt in discomfort, shoving your shoulders into his own a little. Luckily, he gets the hint. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, coming up to a stand, stretching his neck in the process. He shoots you a smile, asking you if you’re thirsty. You nod, still entranced in your own thoughts and he disappears from your line of vision.
You don’t know why, but you just lay there. You want nothing more than to pick yourself up from his couch, dress yourself and get going. You even had an exit line rehearsed that you came up with on the drive here. 
“You’re welcome for those, by the way. Put them to good use.” Referring to the condoms you’d brought along with you. Fortune. It was simple, cheeky and playful. And most importantly, got the point across – this was not going to happen again. A one-time thing, something you had to get out of your system before you could go back to having normal fuck buddies, flirty relationships with your friends that escalated only when need be. Friendly sex, if you will. Jungkook is not your friend. This thought makes you wince. 
When he comes back, he’s wearing sweatpants that hang too low on his hips and it takes you a while to acknowledge the fact that he’s offering you a glass of water. When you frown at the gesture, his face falls.
“I have juice if you want?”
“What? No. Water’s fine. Thank you.” 
He sits down next to you, watching the way you gulp down the water in a matter of seconds. He smiles, unable to stop himself when his fingers card through your hair that’s fallen victim to your activities. He’s gentle when he unknots the mess at the back of your head. You side eye him, and though his smile drops a little, his fingers don’t. 
You panic, and he can see it in your eyes, frantically searching for something around the room. You notice how tidy his place is, nicely and minimally decorated with neutral colors. It suits him in ways you can’t explain, realizing you don’t know him enough to. 
“Uh, have you seen my shirt?” You ask.
He looks around for a second, shaking his head before he offers, “here, wear mine.”
You only accept because your body’s falling back into its normal temperature, the heat of the moment starting to disappear. It’s big and cozy and it smells like him and very faintly of you. 
“Are you okay?”
His question throws you off, piercing eyes looking at him all of a sudden as you raise a brow. “Me? Why wouldn’t I be?” 
He shrugs. “I don’t know. You seem… distant. I mean, in comparison to-”
“Well, yeah. We were fucking. Now we’re not.”
He laughs softly, even though you didn’t mean for anything you said to sound funny. “Well, yeah. I know but- we can just… ease out of it, you know? It doesn’t have to be so abrupt…”
His hand rests on your thigh, squeezing the flesh a little as he moves closer to you. “Can I kiss you?”
You’re about to quite literally shove your hand in his face and wipe that hazy grin from his face to abruptly jank him out of that post-coital glow he seems to be sporting but you’re hesitant. And it’s in that hesitation that you decide to challenge yourself. If you can kiss Jungkook without this foreign feeling forming inside your chest then perhaps it’d go away permanently. Perhaps all you needed was to indulge in the casualty of the action – to feel pleasure as just that, nothing more. 
And so, you kiss him. A pleasant surprise to say the least, making him smile lazily into the kiss. He’s not quite expecting it when you do, so the little force you put into it sends him falling back into the couch, you following after him. You let your body mold into his, the same way your lips do. You both sigh as your mouths part, his tongue licking at your bottom lip. It’s pleasurable. It feels good – kissing Jungkook feels good and there’s no ulterior motive to it. He’s just a good kisser.  
But then his hand cups your face, traveling down your neck until he’s gently running his fingers through your hair, pushing it back so he can kiss down your shoulder. Soft, tender, relaxing you to the point of incoherency because you let him, smiling and giggling into it when his lips tickle your skin.
“Fuck, that was so good,” he says, throwing his head back into the soft cushion. “I don’t know if it made me sleepy or hungry, or both…” he ponders.
You smile, kissing his jaw, your tongue following your lips as they travel down his neck – mimicking his previous actions. He hums out in pleasure, looking down at you, “are you hungry?”
You look up at him, suddenly lost in his eyes, in your thoughts, in your own pleasure. A pleasure different from the way your body feels pleasure. A pleasure you can’t quite put your finger on. 
“Uh…- I’m kinda… sleepy,” you confess. 
He nods, huffing in agreement before he’s wrapping his arms around you, moving his body to the side a little until you’re entrapped between his embrace and the couch. Your body’s too tired to fight it, ignoring the way your brain short-circuits and it doesn’t take long for his breathing to lull you into a deep sleep. 
When Jungkook wakes up, it’s dark outside. His shirt rests on top of his coffee table, neatly folded. And you’re nowhere to be found. 
~
You’ve kept busy, inevitably so. 
School work suddenly picking up, the urge to start revising for finals swarming your thoughts enough until you’re pulling all-nighters in the private study rooms at the library – isolated and focused. Even more now that it’s become dangerously easy for your thoughts to stray away from your tasks at hand and any situation you find yourself in. They stray far enough to land on him, every single time. On what you did, on how it ended. 
And it’s the latter that swarms your thoughts the most, especially during the night – in bed, trying to shut your brain enough so that you’re able to fall asleep. You think of him, of the way his arms felt wrapped around yours, his chest on yours and how you counted each breath of his until they synced with yours. You think of the way your eyes fluttered open even though your body still felt tired, not quite done with sleep yet, looking up at him, a peaceful look to his face as he snored softly. You almost fought it then, too, but his snores lulled you back to sleep. An unconventional lullaby – one that often annoyed you when and if you ever found yourself sleeping next to someone. His didn’t, and on particular nights you’d confess that you wished it was that same sound that was putting you to sleep, not your fifth ASMR video. 
When you woke up and the heaviness of the night surrounded your bodies, it felt like it settled inside your chest, too. You panicked, staring at him even though you couldn’t make much of his face in the darkness. You attempted to go back to sleep, unsure of the time, giving up on putting up a fight – at least in that very moment. You nuzzled your face on his chest, relishing in his warmth and he sighed, unconsciously pulling you closer. It felt so innocent, so uncorrupted – he looked for you in the deepest of sleeps and it was that notion that did it for you. 
The boy was a heavy sleeper, that was for sure. He flinched at the loss of you, arms stretching around him for a brief second before falling back into deep sleep – uninterrupted. 
Your phone buzzes in your hand, making you wince and taking you out of your head – out of the memories that plague it. Sydney’s calling you and when you pick up the phone, she greets you with a cheery, 
“Hello, stranger of a best friend!” 
You roll your eyes, but give in a moment later, offering a playful laugh. You’ll admit that being so inside your head and focusing on your responsibilities and your responsibilities only has made you quite irritable lately, and distant. 
“Hey, Syd.” 
“Where are you? Come hang – I’ve got snacks, buy me coffee and we’ll watch The Great British Bake-off.”
You ponder on her offer for a minute, already so used to neglecting yourself of the simple pleasures of just… hanging out with your friends. It’s only been a week of this, but the consequences are rough. 
“Iced vanilla latte with caramel, extra sweet?” 
“Ugh, be mine.”
You smile. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she sing-songs. 
You decide to treat her real nice, passing by the packed Starbucks on campus (that’s overrated, in your opinion) and heading towards the cute little food trucks that your university brings out during the warmer months of the year. They’re slightly overpriced but worth every penny, if solely for the aesthetics. Though you will admit, the food is great. The little colourful trucks all align one next to the other – your favorite coffee place, a taco shop, ramen place and the ice cream truck last. Colorful tables scattered all across the green space, good music always playing, chill or upbeat depending on the time of day, making it all seem too good to be located in campus grounds. 
You head straight for the coffee truck, the usual barista shooting you a dazzling smile the moment he spots you. You return it.
“Hey, Kian.” 
“Hey, you. Long-time, no see…” He’s cute in that, ‘and he knows it’ type of way. A true charmer. He’s tried it a couple of times, with you, and Sydney… and Sumi. You respect his boldness if anything. 
“Ugh, I know. I’ve been living in the library, busy bee me.”
“Been cheating on me by getting your caffeine fix from Starbucks?” He cocks a brow playfully.
“Why do you ask if the truth will hurt?” 
He laughs, a little obnoxiously but he pulls it well. “The usual?”
“Yep. Iced Americano and an iced vanilla latte with a pump of caramel, make it extra-”
“Sweet, for sweet Sydney.” He winks and you nod, winking back. 
You watch him work his magic, brewing the coffee as the aroma fills the air, foaming the oat milk until it’s cloudy. He makes one hell of a good coffee; you’ll give him that much. You feel giddy all of a sudden, the fresh spring air doing wonders for you already, surprised over how something so mundane as a cup of coffee and a harmless conversation with the cute barista can switch your mood for the better. You smile and Kian catches it, smiling at you for a second before he’s back to excellent coffee making. 
“You’re making me nervous, ___.” He says, half playfully and half sincerely when he sees the way you eye him. 
You raise your hands in defeat, laughing and turning around. “Okay, okay. I’ll just… stare at the-”
Your gaze doesn’t linger, snapping your face back at Kian faster than you can register what you just saw. He just thinks you’re being funny, laughing at the abruptness of your actions. But that doesn’t last either, temptation too strong to beat it, that curiosity that keeps landing you in trouble.
Jungkook.
He sits in one of the tables in front of the ice cream truck, sweet treat in hand that very well goes with the sweet smile he holds, nodding and cocking his head sweetly at the girl that sits right in front of him in the same bench. Their legs are at either side of it and their knees touch. You can’t see her face, but she’s holding a cone, two scoops of pistachio ice cream in it. You know because it’s your favorite. And because you’re a cone person, too. He isn’t, from the looks of it. He also likes mint choco, adding insult to injury. 
The wind blows all of a sudden, in heavy contrast to the heat of the season that was in full bloom only a couple of seconds ago. His hair falls right in front of his eyes, mid ice cream bite, making him shake his head to attempt (and fail) to clear his vision. You see the way she shakes her shoulders, laughing, before her fingers gently push away the fallen strands on his forehead. He smiles through his spoon, big and toothy and sweet. It’s sweet. She’s sweet, and so is he. They’re sweet. 
Your gaze must be piercing because in a matter of seconds his eyes are on yours. You divert your eyes quickly, but you can see the way his eyes go back to her, following the conversation as he nods in acknowledgement. 
“Whatever,” you mumble to yourself, mostly. 
Curiosity wins yet again and when you turn his way, for a brief second, he’s telling her something before both their eyes are on you. She nods at him and right on cue, he’s standing up, making his way towards you. 
Kian places the two coffee cups in front of you, in perfect timing. Will you run? Absolutely. Is it childish? Absolutely. But you don’t owe him anything, really. Let alone explanations. Why even acknowledge your presence? In the middle of a date, too. How rude of him! You also know this is a lie – knowing him, he was even polite about that. 
“Thank you, Ki-”
“Hey, listen… I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while,” Kian begins, his words sluggish, making you anxious as you bounce in your step. “I’m in a band.”
“Oh?” You press.
“Yeah… we’re like, indie. Pretty chill. But one day… oh, man. One day we will be huge!”
“Don’t have a doubt! Godspeed, Kian.” 
You’re about to turn around and, well, run. But God, and Kian, has other plans. Laughing, he says, “I’ve been meaning to invite you girls to come watch us play and stuff. That’d be dope. We have a show this Saturday and I’d really like for you to come; I’ll even sing one for you and everything.” 
You’re perplexed for some reason, but agreeing is quicker than making up some lame excuse so you nod your head, “Sur-”
“Hey, ___.” 
~
Lola called; she didn’t text. She sounded nervous and a bit on edge, stuttering a little on her words, engaging him in small talk before she managed to gather enough courage to ask him out. For ice cream, as she’d promised. 
“I’m free today,” but she immediately regretted it, afraid she’d sounded too pushy. “But we can do it whenever! It doesn’t have to be today. It can be tomorrow-” pushy, again, she thought. “Or next wee-”
“Actually, today sounds nice. Been studying all day, could really use a break… you up for it?” He said, even though she’d clearly just stated she was. It made her relax and he could hear it in her voice. 
“I’d love that, Jungkook.”
He knew this was going to be good for him, fresh air and a potentially nice conversation with a nice girl. She was sweet, had been texting him random sweet messages ever since their conversation in the library weeks ago. Made sure to ask about his day and got excited when he asked about hers. 
They’d met outside of the library and she’d greeted him with a hug and already, it felt nice. He was glad with his decision. He’d hibernated and isolated himself, skipping Tuesday game night and only interacting with his friends during practice and in the hallways, always in a rush getting from one class to the other. He knew why, but he couldn’t quite explain it. He only knew it had a name – your name, to be more precise. But how could he explain that? How could he explain you? 
You hadn’t broken Jungkook’s heart, but you sure had it confused. Lost and quite stubborn, wanting answers and refusing to let go until he got them. It wasn’t in his shy nature to insist, to seek out answers that could very well hurt him, or even tempt discomfort… but nonetheless, he wanted to know. He wanted to know why you just… left. He wanted to know why you even came in the first place. You’d been quite adamant in the soccer field, owning the place and stepping on his spirits, telling him not only would your previous exchange had to be secret but also that it wouldn’t be repeated. Then, mere days later, it wasn’t only repeated but intensified. Just adding layers to the enigma he’d build around you. 
But was it him? Was it all in his head? Was he simply idealizing your actions, justifying them, even if they went strongly against your words? Was he in the wrong for second guessing when that’s all you’d left for him to do? 
So, he spent his days going to class, to practice, late nights at the gym before heading for even later nights at the library. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it so he just let it eat at him from the inside out, distracting himself with whatever he could. 
Lola wasn’t a distraction. She deserved better than that, so he made sure to let himself go of… the thought of you, even if for a brief ice cream run. And truth be told, it was presenting itself to be easier than he originally thought, to just enjoy and be in the moment. With her. Just her, in front of him and in his head. 
“Listen, I have nothing against mint choco…,” she says, words in-between giggles as he playfully narrowed his eyes at her.
“But…?” 
“But it’s more of a, ‘in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s whilst you cry your eyes out watching The Notebook even though you can’t quite relate because you’re not heartbroken enough but oh is it good to indulge’ type of way. You know?” 
This makes Jungkook smile, the two of them breaking out in laughter at her rather personal confession. “Oddly enough, I know what you mean… a little.”
“Only a little?”
“Yeah, can’t speak from experience but, it sounds like it makes sense.”
“Maybe that can be our next ice cream date…” she’s shy around her words, breaking eye contact, gaze traveling down to fixate elsewhere.
“Yeah,” he says, making her look up, a smile that reaches her green eyes. “I’ll put your theory to the test…”
A gust of wind flies directly at them, her hair blowing all over the place and his bangs landing on top of his face, making her giggle at his confused expression, looking a little dumbstruck with a spoonful of ice cream sitting between his teeth. Lola thinks he’s cute – everything about him. Her fingers are a little shaky but she manages, pushing his bangs away from his forehead, big eyes coming to view once again. The tip of her finger gently grazes against his forehead and he blinks slowly. Butterflies swarm her tummy, wanting him to kiss her so bad and hopeful he just might. 
His eyes seem a little lost for a second before he’s smiling at her once again. Her spirits deflate a little but she smiles back.
“Hey, uh… I see my friend,” he says, pointing at your direction. He doesn’t want to lie to her but he doesn’t let much of the truth to come out either. She turns around, eyes catching yours for a brief second before you turn around. You’re pretty and she has a feeling she’s seen you before. 
“Oh…”
“Haven’t been able to reach her and there’s something I have to tell her,” that’s a lie, Jungkook doesn’t even have your number. He sees the way Lola’s face falls a little. He lies, and he hates it. “It’s no biggie, just passing a message. We’ve got friends in common. It’ll be a minute, yeah?”
She smiles again, feeling a little relieved. “Yeah, sure. Don’t worry about it.” 
He smiles and she feels hopeful. 
~
“Hey.” It’s all you say, a tight-lipped smile his way before you’re turning back to Kian, with all the intention of fleeting the scene, coffees in hand. 
“So, you’ll come?” Kian asks, making Jungkook curious, even though he knows he shouldn’t be. He has no right, anyways.
“Sure. Text me the address!”
“But I don’t have your number,” he says, pouting a little obnoxiously.
“DM me on insta!” 
He thinks for a second. “I don’t have that either…”
“It’s just my name!” 
The second he nods, you turn around, casually walking away from the mess you found yourself in. 
Jungkook speed walks a little after you, and you can feel his presence behind you. 
“Hey,” he reaches for your arm, making you turn around, a scowl to your face that makes him wince a little. He takes a step back, not wanting to invade your personal space. “Uh… can we- can we talk? Please?”
You decide to play it cool. “Sure. Talk.” The smile on your face doesn’t quite meet your eyes.
And the truth is, Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to talk to you about. Since you left him that day, he’s thought about close to a million things he’d want to tell you, ask you, have you tell him, but now that you’re in front of him, kind of willing… he’s out of ideas. 
So, he just opts for the easiest one. “Why did you leave… that day we- yeah.”
“Why would I have stayed?” You ask him, like it’s obvious. A little rhetorical even.
“You didn’t- I mean, if you wanted to leave, of course. You just didn’t say goodbye or anything…” his voice is calm, and this makes you even more anxious. Something that feels awfully like guilt settling right in your chest.
“You were sleeping.”
He gives you a knowing look, like both you and him know that’s not really the reason why you left, let alone the answer to his question.
“Listen, that conversation we had in the soccer field that one time… it still stands, okay? Nothing has changed.” You say.
“Only it has? You came to me. And we had sex. So… yeah, something has changed. If only the facts, but… something.”
You roll your eyes at him, crude and exasperated at this point. “Fine. We fucked. I was curious, had to burn out that curiosity. That’s all. Factual. Nothing has changed, in theory.”
“You were curious?” He says, in slight disbelief. 
“Yeah.”
“I get that but,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, looking for the right words. “But I’m not just…- something that you can use to, appease your curiosity… I guess.” He’s unsure of his own words, knowing he sounds hurt and so very out of your left field because that’s what you’re used to. Bodies, not people. To appease instant gratification. And he wishes he could be just that if only to not have you look at him the way you are now, slightly regretful and shocked at his words. 
“I apologize, won’t happen again – trust me.”
“No,” he reaches out for you once again when you turn to leave. “That’s not what I meant.” 
“But that’s all I wanted. Considered it done on my part. I wanted to know and now I do. And I’ve closed chapter – you should, too. It meant nothing, Jungkook.”
He can only stare at you, trying to process your words – making mental fucking laps around it as if to keep it from reaching his heart. As if to try to pretend your words don’t hurt.
You sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry. I mistook the situation, you’re not… that type of guy, and I guess I am that type of girl. If I sent mixed signals then, I hope this makes it clear. It was a mistake, so… sorry, I guess.”
When he says nothing, just gives you a weak nod, you give him another one of your characteristic smiles. Those that he often gets when he finds himself in these situations with you, this one by the far the hardest. It’s so different from the smiles you’d given him the last time it was just the two of you, alone. Fulfilling your curiosities. 
But your curiosities have a name and explanation: lust. No last name, no need to elaborate.
He watches you leave, feeling like he’s just been punched in the gut. 
Or the heart.
What the hell does he know, really. 
~
I'd give jungkook one million hugs. pls :((((. im sorry kookie. I hope u guys enjoyed this!!! do let me know if u did, let's talk - I miss u a ton. love u. xxxxx <3333
★taglist★
@yoongimentita7 @lil-sracha @angelicalhoney @sfneyjsjgyjdyndhndyn @ppeachyttae @rockinpretty @mwitsmejk @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @rhaegaled @ruclements @mctete @oopsthi @ellesalazar @kpopssuregi @eonninja @cambo-backwards @jiimiinsii @jalexad @primadonnasdream @suzysuee @carolsummerlove @kokoandkookie @tbzhub @chimswae @bbtsficrecs @mschievous247
let me know if u wanna be added <3
531 notes · View notes
taeghi · 2 years
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jay takes the lead — enhypen smut
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RELEASE DATE : SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH, 2022 @ 10PM EST
— jay takes the lead (HIS PROFILE) ➤ summary : smart boy jay wants to take his turn first by inviting you over to his house to study, he'll show you how much of a good girl you are for studying so well, and hopefully, you'll take his compliments to the heart.
➤ jay+reader | smut, fluff?, PWP | includes praise, spanking, more tbd
bet?
part of the bets are meant to be won series!
211 notes · View notes
lunamochii · 2 years
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I attended a cosplay event today and I went home with a au that’s a businessman sugar daddy genshin men x cosplayer!reader, where they fund reader’s expenses for their cosplay and even goes with them to the event despite their busy schedule on work! Ofcourse they get jealous when people gets too close with the reader but what can they do? It’s part of being a cosplayer. Don’t worry, they will make sure to stuff you up once they drag you into a secluded place.
Naming this series, yeah it will be a series👻 as ‘At the end of the day, you’re mine’
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286 notes · View notes
kerokerokook · 7 months
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the rebound girl: chapter two
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pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader
word count: 25.5k wtf
warnings for this chapter: oc just goes for it, jeongguk is hot as usual, lots of kissing, finally some smut, first time, virgin jk!, subby jk! with dom! reader at first but that changes, oral (m. receiving), oral fixation, fingering, jeongguk does the lower stomach trick from tiktok (iykyk), he's a little shit but it's okay.
other tags: lots of overthinking, oc goes back and forth a whole bunch (she's confused and hurt ok), jeongguk is a giant MF green flag (obvi), vmin and 2yeon being chaotically gay ofc, some brief physics mentioned, a bit of angst, oc has been hurt in her teen years.
a/n: sorry this took 9 million years but ya girl just got into her masters program!! hopefully, i can update this once/twice a month? maybe even more but, that's the plan!
enjoy :)
<3 mal
original post
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The first day of school hit you in the face like a speeding fourteen-wheel truck. 
Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration because you’ve known the date since the beginning of summer break but time flew by so quickly that you couldn’t believe September was starting and another school year was too. 
Soon, you’ll graduate and get a job and move on from all of the shit you’ve gone through to become a whole adult. It’s terrifying yet exciting all at once. 
Fortunately, you picked out your outfit last night: baggy blue jeans, a white cropped tank top and an oversized black corduroy button up shirt. It’s simple and comfy which you always prefer for school outfits. Simple gold jewelry sits on your neck and in your ears and you keep your hair back with a clear claw clip. You keep your makeup light, being that you’ll be back home in a few hours where you’ll just slip back into your pajamas and do nothing for the rest of the day.
While packing your things, you make sure to tuck Jeongguk’s t-shirt that you’ve washed and his umbrella into your backpack, then give Snowball her last few pets for the day while checking her food and water bowl. 
“I’ll be back in a few hours cutie,” you coo, scratching underneath her chin. Her head tilts up, a content smile on her cute face, eyes shut while pushing into your touch.
Adopting Snowball sort of just happened. You were lonely last Winter break after a guy you met in your Economic Growth Seminar had moved on and your mom was talking about how your neighbor’s cat just had a litter of kittens. Thankfully, your landlord was okay with pets and boom, there was a little fluff ball making your day better little by little. After a long day, there was nothing you liked doing more than stroking her soft fur and listening to music or throwing a movie on while she purrs right next to you. She’s a great comfort to you and your friends love her too.
Tearfully, you rip yourself away from your little baby and step outside of your comfortable apartment. The hallway is empty at this time. Your building has mostly college students and a few bachelors and bachelorettes here and there so it’s surprising that no one else is walking out at the same time as you. But that’s fine. No polite greetings necessary. You put your headphones in, play some music and begin your trek to school. 
Living one subway ride away from university is a privilege. It never takes you that long to get to class and it’s easy to get back home. It’s the best thing about living here. 
Plus in the springtime, the blossoms decorate the streets with little pink petals and it’s a sight to see. 
On the way down the subway steps, you check your schedule once more just to be sure of your class load today. You have a 9am lecture, then an 11:30am lecture and then a discussion at 1:45 but those only start the second week of school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you have classes from 8am-3pm which sounds like ass now that you think about it. 
Fuck, were you drunk when you selected these courses? 
You shake your head. Whatever, not like there’s much you can do now, right? At least you’ll be busy so less time to mess around. 
Your walk down the steps continues and you shove your phone into your jean pocket as you rush over to make the train before your first class, taking out your metro-card.
After dodging some lethargic businessmen and starstruck tourists, you manage to reach the train with a few seconds to spare. There’s a towards the back so you quickly walk over and grab the handle when there’s a vibration against your ass. 
Confused, you pull your phone out. It’s probably a tiktok sent to you by Jeongyeon of a cat with a funny filter on or something but the screen shows the message icon and you use FaceID to unlock your phone to see who the sender was.
It’s a text from Jeongguk. 
jeon jeongguk
hey
do you want to give me the stuff outside the engineering building?
maybe around 1? 
by stuff i mean my shirt and umbrella
You smile to yourself. The fact that he felt the need to explain what he meant by stuff is unbelievably adorable to you. 
me 
sure, i’ll be there :) 
You almost wonder what Jeongguk’s schedule is like but you stop yourself quickly. You tried to not to think too much about him on Sunday when you got back. It was enough that his sweet smelling shirt was on your body and you still had the lingering imprint of his hug on your skin but now that you know he  goes to the same school, you’ll become more interested and you can’t. Jeongguk isn’t going to be the next boy to occupy your mind. 
This year is going to be different. You won’t be the rebound girl anymore, you won’t sleep with guys from your school, and you won’t give in. 
After everything that went down with Wooshik, it’s just better for you to distance yourself from this stupid label of rebound girl. It’s done nothing but hurt you and worsen your relationship with the people in your department. First year you were hanging out and eating with them and now all you have are Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Not that you don’t like them but you just hate what being the rebound girl has done to your college life.
Your mother used to say your college years are your prime years to be young and stupid and learn about life. 
But college is nothing special to you. The classes are harder, people are smarter, meaner, better, and all you can do is push yourself to do the best that you can. Sometimes it’s enough, sometimes it isn’t. Your friends are great and you’ve made some good memories, but so far, college isn’t that coming-of-age life lesson that your mother always talked about. 
You’re not particularly upset about it. You just wished you could do more. Live your life without eyes all over you and whispers at every mistake. 
As the train lets you off at your spot, you make sure to triple check your schedule for the day so you know where you’re going after your first class. 
9am is your Macroeconomics lecture in the Economics building which is fine. Your professor is nice and the class seems interesting enough that you know you’ll do well. Mostly test based which won’t be a problem because economics is your thing. You’ve been studying it diligently for three years now so you can confidently say that. 
But 11:30 is your worst nightmare: physics. 
This is all your fault. Nayeon told you to get all of your general education requirements out of the way quickly your first and second year so that you wouldn’t have to worry about them later but you didn’t listen. 
Look, science is simply not your thing. High school courses were hell on earth thanks to your asshole of a Chemistry teacher. You managed to gaslight yourself into thinking math was easy enough as long as you studied like a mad person and got those requirements out of the way but science is hell on earth for you. Your university requires one life science and two physical sciences. Life science was an easy choice: zoology. You got to learn about cute animals and watch videos about them. First semester of your first year was easy. 
Then you decided to take Geology for physical science during your second semester. It sounded easy but memorizing all of those different rock formations was starting to wear you out from the inside. Somehow you managed a B. And after that, it was either meteorology, astronomy, or some form of physics since every other course required you to be enrolled in the Physical Sciences department or have some prerequisite that you didn’t want to take. None of the options sounded appealing to you so you put it off until now. Then, when the realization hit that you had only one more year after this to make up for all of those credits, you decided astronomy might be the best choice after reading some professor reviews. 
Only for you to sleep through registration and wake up in a frenzy to find the class completely full. 
Yeah, you almost started crying.
So physics it was and, how wonderful, the only class available was with an unlikeable teacher that has a horrible rating. Amazing. 
Panic floods your system as you walk into the large lecture hall. You aim for a seat in the middle, take out your supplies, and start diligently listening. Your professor is a stout, sad, little man who is trying to improve his professor score online so thankfully, he says he’s going to be more lenient when it comes to tests but demands that homework be turned in on time otherwise points will be deducted. Fair enough. You could do that. 
But then he starts going into course material. 
Energy; alright. 
Motion; cool. 
Thermodynamics; okay.
Optics; excuse me?
Electromagnetism; sound the alarms. 
This class is going to kill you. Even if it’s Physics 1 and your class is filled with mostly underclassmen, you know you won’t grasp the concepts easily with all of your other classes weighing down on your head. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it all. 
“.. previous students of mine have so graciously offered tutoring hours so if any of you are confused, I highly recommend meeting up with them and going over concepts. They have taken my tests before so they know what to expect. It is the best way to ensure you do well.”
Most of the students behind you have gone to sleep or started scrolling through their phones but you have a lightbulb moment. 
Perfect, okay. All you have to do is check the list of tutors online and schedule appointments with them. Shouldn’t be that bad.  Another thing to be strict about. 
This is just what you wanted: a tight enough schedule to keep you too busy to think about anything else.
Once class is over, you pack all of your things and check your phone once more. Jeongguk said he’d be outside the engineering building which is close to the physical sciences building. The time reads 12:50pm so you have some time to make your way outside. 
So far, the first day has ended and it’s gone pretty well. You’ll go back home, create a strict study table on your Notion, rent all of your books and then relax for the rest of the day. Then the rest of this week should be smooth sailing as you get into the groove with your new professors. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are going to meet you at your place for home-cooked dinner this Friday( a little first week back tradition) which you’re excited for.  You should look up some recipes and make sure Nayeon stays out of your kitchen so she won’t blow anything up. That girl is incapable of not making a disaster in the kitchen. 
You sigh through your nose, studying the sights you see on campus. Various students walking in small triplets or duos. The occasional lone wolf with headphones on to block out the world. Some clubs are putting up posters or setting up tables to grab first years as they explore campus. The path that is currently running outside the STEM buildings break off into various courtyards and cafes where students of all departments come to chill or cut through to go to their other classes. 
It’s about to be a great scenic walk just until you run into Wooshik and his buddies as they’re exiting a café with drinks in their hands. 
Kill me now. 
You pause like a deer in headlights when you make eye contact with him, stopping midway so your lips can part as your entire body goes stuff. 
Now, more than anything, you really wish you were walking with someone. 
“Hey,” Wooshik forces out, crossing his arms over his chest. His polo shirt is open enough to show a random cluster of dark hickeys from the middle of his throat to the beginning of his chest. Real subtle. 
Before seeing that, you were thinking about apologizing but now, not so much. 
“Hi,” your tone is short. You can feel eyes dance over your body, the swell of your breasts and the sliver of skin revealed between your crop top and pants from one of his creepy pals behind him and you have half a mind to kick him in the balls. 
Wooshik’s eyes bounce back and he juts his face forward like he’s waiting for you to say something to him but you keep your lips perfectly sealed. If he wants an apology, he can wait until he’s dead. His other friends exchange weird looks at the lack of conversation going on between you two, probably wondering if this standoff is going to linger forever. 
It makes you wonder what Wooshik told them. 
Guys love having their ego fluffed. If they get rejected by a girl, they’ll tell their best friends that she was an ugly slut or they’ll flip the story to say that they rejected her to save face. The last thing they want their friends to know is that a girl rejected them. It dims their coolness. However, you really don’t give a fuck about Wooshik looking cool in front of his boys. If anything, you revel in the cutting deflation he’ll feel when you tell them the truth. 
“Did you get the wine out of your shirt?” You ask innocently. “I should’ve aimed it more towards your face and less towards your clothes.” Shrugging, a satisfied smile grows on your lips. 
Wooshik’s ears turn red. “I–” he cuts eye contact as his friends snicker behind him. You watch in satisfaction as his expression changes from surprised to annoyed to angry. “You know what, fuck you. You ruined my shirt. I had to take that hot waitress back to my place instead of a hotel so I didn’t reek of wine.”  
You scoff immediately. “Damn and I was trying to do her a favor. But congrats, looks like you got your tiny dick wet for two minutes.” You start to clap. One of his friends chokes back a splutter of laughter at the jab. 
Wooshik wasn’t anything amazing but you sort of expected that. Most of your hookups are satisfactory. They get the job done and they give up. As stupid as it sounds, you’ve always gone above and beyond to pleasure someone. There’s something amazing about making your partner feel good but most men see sex in a selfish lens. 
For most guys, sex means sticking their dick in and sloshing it around a few times until they feel good. Boom, sex over. 
Now, if they want to make you feel good, it still won’t be about you. Orgasms are like points. They don’t get off on your pleasure but more on the fact that they’re so amazing at sex that you experienced pleasure. Another way to fluff their egos. 
For once, you’d wish for a guy to actually care about you and your pleasure in an unselfish way, the same way you do for them. 
Wooshik stumbles for a moment but he jumps back quickly to get you too. Especially with all of his boys watching. 
“You didn’t seem to complain about it at first. What, changed your mind because I didn’t want you anymore?” 
Oh, please. A plastic vibrator has done more for you than he ever will. 
You laugh sardonically. “No, I just felt bad for you.” You say it wholeheartedly and it's the most truthful you’ve ever been with him. 
His friends then burst into giggles and snickers, shoving him around when he fails to retort, left dumbfounded by the sheer audacity of you but you don’t care. You don’t get to see the look on Wooshik’s face but you don’t care. The laughter is your cue to leave him. 
 That chapter of your life is over now and you won’t ever have to deal with him again. The last man you’ll let trample all over you the minute you show them some sympathy. 
All you can hope is that the pesky nickname that’s been poisoning you since your first year college can fade away into obscurity forever and ever. 
Then, you can just be you. No label, no nickname, no reputation. Just a regular college senior. 
The walk to the engineering building is lighter now. You feel like one of the falling petals gently flying through the sky from the branch down to the ground. A new journey begins and you can’t wait for it. 
After another minute of walking, you reach the engineering building. Painted a soft brown with tons of posters and clubs waiting to talk to students. You dodge all of them to head inside where Jeongguk is waiting by a random classroom. You navigate through the crowd until you finally locate a  mop of gorgeous dark hair and bright clear eyes. 
He’s facing his phone screen, one leg crossed over the other, but you’re still mesmerized by him. Beauty is in simplicity but with a face like that, Jeongguk could wear a burlap sack and make it work. But currently, he’s dressed in baggy gray cargos and a dark blue long-sleeve shirt with some brand name logo on it. The urge to sigh like a satisfied cartoon character is intense. 
You hate and love it at the same time. How on earth can he look so boyfriend without trying? 
“Hey, Jeongguk,” you call softly, taking short strides towards him, hoping that your hair looks good and not like a frizzy mess from the wind. 
His head pops up, glimmering eyes like two black pools of water gazing back at you. Then a soft grin forms on his lips, skin creasing, dimpling, and cute. 
“Hey.” Jeongguk tucks his phone into his pants pocket. His perfume wafts over to you the moment he moves, welcoming you like a warm hug after a long day. 
You want to bury your nose in it and never forget the smell. 
“Sorry, I got caught up with something on the way here. Were you waiting for a while?”
“Nah, I’ve been here for like two minutes. Did you bring it?” He adjusts his bag for a moment. 
“Yep.” You hand him the shirt, neatly folded and smelling of your fabric softener, along with the umbrella tied. “All clean.” A cute smile grows on his face as he gently takes the items and puts it in his bag, humming excitedly under his breath which makes your entire body warm. “Listen, are you off for the rest of the day?” 
“Yeah, I have all morning classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. You?”  
“Same and it just so happens that I needed a walking buddy to the subway station.”  You take the first step towards the exit when he agrees with a short chuckle and a nod. Your apartment building is one stop away while Jeongguk is about four stops away so you won’t get to talk much but the sentiment is what matters. 
Plus, all you really want is to be close to him and his family again. There was a real bond going on when you were young and now you’ve been handed a golden chance to reignite that spark. 
Fresh air fills your lungs while your ears pick up on the sounds of fading conversations, the smell of food and new school supplies greets your nose. You have yet to reach the economics building, where more people know you, so people here aren’t staring just yet. They’re preoccupied with their own lives and you want to appreciate it for a little longer. 
“By the way, thanks for Saturday. I’m sure dealing with five drunk weirdos must’ve been annoying,” you add. 
You barely remember the words coming out of your mouth. It was a slew of garbled song lyrics, high thoughts and giggles and that’s the best you can do. There’s no way Jeongguk was walking out of the night sane.  
He huffs out a laugh and then shakes his hair out of his eyes in a very attractive manner. “It was… well, it was something, I’ll tell you that much. But you don’t have to apologize. I don’t mind.” Then Jeongguk looks at you with his chin tilted down, lids low, almost glazed over like he’s checking you out but his gaze just dances over the features of your face. 
You get incredibly shy with him staring at you like that. 
Let’s hope you aren’t turning tomato red right now. 
“Jimin and Tae go out a lot so I’m used to making sure they don’t, like, die.” 
Jeongguk is like Jeongyeon in that sense. Always taking care of people and making sure they are safe in bed before worrying about themselves. Sometimes, she forgets that she’s allowed to have fun and let loose too and you don’t want Jeongguk to fall into the same mindset. Being the caretaker all the time can be draining. 
“I mean, it’s your birthday and the rest of us were getting fucked up. Usually, it’s the other way around.” 
Your 20th was nothing short of a hot mess. Nayeon snuck in bottles she got her older brother to buy and you tried to take a shot from every single type he brought. Whiskey, vodka, soju, sake, and beer. Safe to say, that was a rookie mistake that ended up hunched over a toilet bowl  for almost an hour. Nayeon held your hair while Jeongyeon ordered just enough carbs and hangover soup to make it all better. 
But it was a memory you hold dear to you because it was one of the last moments you felt like it was okay for you to be a stupid teenager and make a mistake.
Jeongguk didn’t get that moment and you want him to because that sloppy behavior won’t be cute when he’s in his late 20s or early 30s. 
“I didn’t want to,” he shrugs simply. “Drinking is sorta fun but I don’t love it and I never let myself get super drunk.” You want to ask why but Jeongguk continues speaking. “But we had cake and barbecue before coming to the club and my parents sent a care package, so it was a good birthday. Taking care of you guys didn’t ruin everything.” 
You relent a little. Perceptions of fun are different after all and maybe, for Jeongguk, he got exactly what he wanted so he isn’t complaining. The residual guilt fades slowly inside of you.
“As long as you enjoyed your birthday,” you sigh, a wave of something sentimental coming over you causes your heels to raise up so you can be tall enough to ruffle his fluffy perfect hair. The same boy who only dressed in Pokémon shirts is now legal, old enough to do whatever he wants, and you’re starting to feel a little soft about it. “Can’t believe you’re twenty!” You squeal. “You’re all grown up!” 
Jeongguk cringes, turning away from your constant pinches and prods and whining as a few eyes drift towards the two of you. His ears get the tiniest bit red but he doesn’t scold you so you continue teasing him. 
“Remember when you used to hand draw all of my birthday cards with little cartoons and you and Eunchae would come with my mom and I to look at all of the cakes at the store?”
The filmstrip of memories is painfully nostalgic. That one nice cake store a few streets away from your apartment building that made the best cakes. If you close your eyes, you can smell the sugary air as you walk in, a tinkling bell on the door to let the owners know someone was there, and the various cakes put in the display case. You always got the fudgiest chocolate cake with bright red strawberries on top. Your mom could only afford the small size but that was fine. You just wanted a cake. 
Jeongguk would come with you and press his face to the glass in complete awe. Sometimes, the three of you would pretend like you were rich people who got to buy big cakes whenever they pleased and you’d pick the biggest sizes of your favorite flavors. 
You always got chocolate, Jeongguk got some sort of fruit while Eunchae would get red velvet and you would dream of the day when you had enough money to indulge yourself on a whim. . 
Then, when Jeongguk’s mom opened up her bakery, she began making your birthday cakes so the three of you sort of got your wish but those were free. Made with love and compassion until you moved too far to feel it. 
“You still remember all of that?” He asks. The stone pathway turns. A signal that the economics building is getting closer by the second. 
Trying not to think about it, you answer him. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” You’ve always had impeccable memory but you treasured every second of your childhood. 
Because your later teens, in Seoul and away from all that you knew, were terrible. 
“I barely remembered what I ate yesterday,” Jeongguk laughs, staring over at you. “That’s pretty impressive.” 
“You think so?” You turn to look at him when you feel his eyes linger for longer than usual. His stare isn’t piercing but it leaves a viable imprint on your skin like a thick layer of lotion. “What?” You get self-conscious. Is there something in your hair? Did a bird shit on you without you noticing? 
“I like your hair,” Jeongguk says after a moment, pointing to the clear clip holding all of your hair up. 
A few of the shorter strands come out from the tight hold with time, framing your face, while the rest remain bunched up with a large claw clip. It’s such an effortless look. This morning you were too lazy to fully style your hair with a hair dryer and a brush after spending too much time on it for your sham date with Wooshik. It’s starting to get a little greasy so you plan to wash it tomorrow but this is your go-to dirty hair look. 
“Oh, thanks.” A goofy grin nearly breaks out onto your face but you stop it halfway. “I like your earrings.” You want to return Jeongguk’s compliment with one of your own. Your pointer finger runs through the three thick hoops like a wind chime, causing Jeongguk’s shoulder to rise up thanks to the ticklish sensation, getting shy. “How on earth did your mom allow all of these piercings?” 
Mrs. Jeon lost her shit when a 14-year-old you greeted her with a second hole in your ears when she was coming home from the grocery store.  An upperclassman offered to pierce everyone’s ears using the nurses supplies in exchange for cigarettes or candy from a nearby convenience store. Since she was your guardian for the day while your mom was out for a certification exam, she felt irresponsible but you assured her that your mom was okay with it. 
Well, she had no idea at the time but you knew she’d get over it at some point. It was a second ear piercing, not like you got a tattoo on your forehead. 
“These were all presents, actually.” Your fingers brush the back of his palm as you get closer to the economics building at the end of the road, a little before the sidewalk down the main road begins, as your dread multiplies. “I learned that from you. Convinced mom and dad that my good grades warranted some award and they had no choice but to say yes.”
A dangerously familiar feeling mixed with pride courses through your veins like the newest drug. Jeongguk says he doesn’t remember much but he manages to reach in and pull out a sickly sweet memory from your childhood that has your insides turning into mush. You almost want to wrap your arms around your stomach to get it to stop flipping so much. 
You didn’t ask for much as a kid. Growing up you knew that money was tight so expensive things like the best console or brand name clothes were simply out of the question. But you liked to barter with your mom for more simple things. A good grade for ice cream or a day at the beach or a trip to the bookstore to buy a manga edition you’ve been waiting to read. 
It wasn’t all the time but when you felt like you wanted to celebrate yourself. You earned it after all. 
Then you got a little older and you wanted to become like the cool older girls you went to school with. So you dropped ice cream for piercings, nail polish, and CDs from all of the new idol groups that were popular at the time. Your mom was frugal of course, most of your stuff was cheap from the local dollar store or second hand markets, but she loved to treat you. She wished she could spoil you one day, buy you everything you could lay your eyes on, however the universe didn’t allow her to do that. 
She still can’t but that’s okay. You’re glad you didn’t grow up a spoiled brat. That you learned humility and patience and empathy because it’s those traits that set you apart from most of your classmates. 
“I taught you well.” Fingers itching to flick his chin, you hold back. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable with all of the touching. 
Jeongguk hums. “Got these and these,” he turns his head to the other side to show you almost five studs in his ear, “after my class rank and CSAT score came out.”  
“Didn’t that hurt?” 
You do your best to keep your eyes either on the ground or on Jeongguk as the almighty building comes into view. Despite the heavy beating in your chest, your inner turmoil shouldn’t be obvious. 
Jeongguk doesn’t need to know about your problems. Those are yours and yours alone. 
“Yeah but it wasn’t unbearable. I swear, Eunchae almost passed out when she got her doubles. She hates needles.” 
You laugh. “I remember. Your sister was freaking out when we were all getting our vaccines because she literally slithered down onto the floor the moment she saw the thing.” 
Jeongguk hums. There’s a small break in the conversation as the two of you pass by a huge yet short wave crowd of people who are either rushing to the cafeteria or to their next class but even through all of that, you can feel eyes all over the two of your backs. Especially yours. 
Your department members linger by the vending machines and smoking areas in little judgmental pods,  whispering about you amongst themselves. 
You can predict what they’re saying. 
There she goes again, latching onto another guy after Wooshik dumped her poor pathetic ass. 
Will she ever learn? 
Poor thing. He probably doesn’t know that he’s dealing with the campus whore. 
That word. That one word, repeats in your mind. Whore, whore, whore. That’s all you’ll ever be to them. 
Fear sets in. What will they say about Jeongguk? Will he get teased? Will he find out about your reputation and want nothing to do with you afterwards? No, the last thing you want is for him to get tangled in all of this. He shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. Know about all of the things people whisper about you when they think you aren’t listening.
At some point, he’ll find out. No matter how hard you try to hide it, push it down, pretend everything is okay, Jeongguk will come to know what everyone thinks of you and all of the nasty vitriol they throw your way. 
And when he does, you’re going to have to learn to let go of whatever you two have right now and whatever builds in your heart until all you have left to cling to Jeongguk are the sweet memories of your life in Busan. 
Because that’s how it goes for you. 
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Jeongguk stumbles into his apartment and throws his backpack onto his gaming chair, quickly calculating the amount of free time he has right now. 
 He has a group match in about two hours for League of Legends and he plans on canceling on them since he had to wake up early today. Jeongguk’s sleep schedule was fucked up all summer and suddenly, waking up at 6am instead of going to bed around then was quite literally torture. 
There’s no guilt when Jeongguk texts them. He doesn’t owe his teammates anything, not like he’s joined a real league anyways. He has other priorities. 
Now that he’s a student again, his sleep schedule sort of matters. His mother would cry learning about the absolute buffoonery he was committing over summer session with his new league he met online. Playing various games until the sun was peeking through his blinds and then ordering breakfast from McDonald’s while entering another battle. Usually that would entice him but all he feels is exhaustion. 
Most of it is from lugging his heavy ass backpack around all day in the sun. Some of it is still from this weekend. There’s a reason Jeongguk isn’t an avid partier. 
Quickly, he throws whatever pre-packaged dish he bought into the microwave and changes out of his school clothes into some sweatpants and a different shirt. All part of his usual after school routine. Then he carefully takes the steaming plate out once it’s done and sets it on the counter to cool before going to the bathroom to wash his hands. 
As he walks through his hall, something presses into the soles of his feet. It’s soft but flexible and round with a hard plastic bit strung onto it that digs into his skin.
“Ouch!” He stops midway, moving his foot and staring at the mystery item. Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow at first. 
It looks like one of Taehyung’s many charm bracelets that he buys from those street vendors in Hongdae with the cute little charms around colored string. Jeongguk has one from him ( a black string with a baby pink bunny charm that he wears every now and then). The idiot probably dropped it while singing karaoke or doing his Scarface impersonation to make Jimin laugh. Jeongguk takes his phone out to text the guy but he realizes that Taehyung hasn’t been to his apartment in a few days. 
The only other person that has been here was… you. 
He bends down to look at the bracelet. Were you wearing one that night? Your bracelets didn't look like this. They were metal, not string. Jeongguk bends at the knees and picks it up. The string is elastic and stretchy but loose enough to fit around his wrist if needed. 
Oh, it’s a hair tie. 
You must’ve dropped it when you slept over. Jeongguk turns the thing around to see the charm. The elastic itself is plain black but the charm seems to be some Sanrio character that he recognizes but cannot remember the name of.
Hello Kitty? No, he knows her and she doesn’t look like this. 
Cinnamoroll? No, that’s a puppy. This is some weird purple looking thing. 
My Melody? Maybe. 
Fuck, he doesn’t have time to worry about this. Jeongguk shoves the damn thing in his pocket, makes a mental reminder to text you about it after eating lunch, and goes to quickly wash his hands. His fingers push the door open to his bathroom. Clean white tiles, the scent diffuser smelling of white musk, and his TMNT towel drying on the rack. 
Jeongguk looks up at himself in the mirror. His eyes are sunken in and a little swollen from the lack of sleep. His stomach rumbles as he lathers his hands in his fresh cotton hand soap. 
But all he can think about is you on that night. 
Saturday Night. 
The night felt never-ending. 
Jeongguk was doing his best to get everyone in a car ride home safely after song after song on the dance floor but he was getting a little overwhelmed with all that was thrown onto him in the span of a few short minutes when Nayeon decided she wanted to go home.
Laughing, tripping, complaining about vomiting, a smell coming from some random spot that’s making someone nauseous, Jeongguk felt like a parent trying to get their kids together. His phone was glued to his hands to call cabs and type in addresses while making sure the five of you didn’t wander off into the unknown without his supervision. 
Thankfully, one of your friends managed to usher the other into a cab and Jimin was able to shove a whiny Taehyung into the one Jeongguk had ordered so now all he had left was you. 
Drunk you was something else. Stuck onto him like a second layer, arms twined tightly around his waist, mumbling about something random while stumbling over every step. Jeongguk had half a mind to just pick you up and walk to where the guy had parked but he didn’t want to make your nausea even worse by swinging you around.  
“Wait! Jeongguk, I can’t find my phone, we have to go back,” you whined, tugging on his arm with one hand. “I-I can’t–hiccup–I can’t live without my-my phone!”
You were clutching your phone in your other hand. 
He sighed. “You’re holding it,” motioning to the device pressed into your fingers. “Come on, the cab is parked there.” The yellow thing looked like something descending from the heavens while the driver finished the last of his cigarette and belched loud enough for Jeongguk to hear. 
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Are you really sure?”
“Yes.” 
“Okay, I trust you.” You mumbles, hugging him close like he was a large pillow. 
The next few minutes passed by a bit quicker as you let Jeongguk help you into the car and started on your way back to his apartment since you and your friends were incapable of remembering your address. 
He leaned against the tough upholstery as the car began moving. Muscles tight and tired. Jeongguk felt the rivulets of sweat dripping down on his neck which he quickly wiped off and onto his pants, something he usually doesn't do but he’s at the state of not really giving a fuck about clothes he’s going to wash anyways. His body bobbles with a shaky turn and somehow, your limp body ends up pressed into his side, head leaning on his chest while a muffled groan leaves your painted lips.
“Ah s-sorry,” you slurred, attempting to sit up by placing a hand on Jeongguk’s mid-thigh. “I forgot to put on my belt.”  Your perfume flowed to him, a soft clean scent, maybe a bit sucrose when mixed with the scent of your shampoo. 
“Oh, the belt is finicky on that side, ma’am.” The driver informs. He meets both of your eyes in the rearview mirror. “It’s okay. Lean on your boyfriend for the rest of the drive. Should only take a few more minutes!” 
Jeongguk opens his mouth to correct but you interrupt him with a giggle. His head switches to you, mouth covered, skin dimpling. “Boyfriend.” You repeat. 
The driver plays along, most likely very confused, just like Jeongguk. “You two make a lovely couple.”
That next statement makes you giggle a little more. Jeongguk wants to know what is so funny about this cab driver assuming the two of you are dating. Do you find the hypothetical to be so insanely outrageous that it’s hilarious?  Should he even bother asking or should he let it go to save himself the pain from hearing your brazenly honest answer?
Jeongguk chooses to ignore it. He knows another turn is coming up so he raises his left arm and nudges you closer to rest on him comfortably. That same arm circles around your shoulders and the top of your head tickles the bottom of Jeongguk’s nose. You’re warm and comforting after a long night, bringing up a slew of feelings he’s been pushing down for years at this point. 
Still mumbling to yourself, you become distracted with the jewelry on Jeongguk’s hand so you don’t hear the questions that the cab driver throws your way. 
“How long have you two been dating?” He asks, turning down the late night radio station playing old hits. 
Jeongguk just goes along with it. “It’s-uh-very recent, sir.” A four hour relationship to be exact. “But I’ve known her since we were kids.” 
“How cute! My wife and I only dated for a few months before I proposed, you know,” he proclaims proudly, shoulders broadening. Jeongguk nods and fakes a grin in hopes that the conversation ends here. 
Jeongguk wants to laugh. Marriage? 
He’s never even been in a relationship before. He’s barely gone past kissing someone for longer than two minutes. With the way things are going, Jeongguk will probably live his life exactly like Steve Carell in the movie The 40-year-old Virgin only there’s no way he’ll get a happy ending. 
The cab driver laughs to himself when he sees the look on Jeongguk's face before turning the music back up. You’ve successfully knocked out on Jeongguk’s chest so you miss the faint redness creeping up his neck and to his ears but it’s not something he wants you to see either. His brain zeros in on his own pathetic state of affairs. 
He’s always prided himself on his emotional maturity for someone so young but romantically? Horrendous. 
Jeongguk has always stood behind the belief that he simply isn’t meant to be in a relationship with anyone. Sometimes he can be too shy, too closed off, and people don’t gravitate towards people like that. They want someone who can be openly affectionate after a few conversations and Jeongguk simply isn’t the type. The only reason why he has friends like Taehyung and Jimin is because they made an effort to get to know him at his pace. It’s the same with you, who was older and a girl but you still made the effort to invite Jeongguk to watch Barbie movies or search for coins to get the cheapest candy at the convenience store. People usually don’t care after he brushes them off a few times but you did, Taehyung and Jimin did, and Jeongguk gets all fuzzy inside. 
Would he ever find someone like you three again? Would he ever be so lucky? Probably not. 
He looks over at your face smushed against his chest, playing with the zipper of his jacket. You’re so pretty, always have been, always will be, like a rare flower. Even after all of this time, he’s so taken aback by how effortlessly beautiful you are; on the outside and the inside. The way your hair falls delicately over your face, cheeks puffed, lips puckered; the way your shirt gives you an angelic look and your necklace lies perfectly in the middle of your collarbones. 
It’s enticing. Jeongguk can’t take his eyes off of you. He never could. 
Fuck, this random reunion might do more harm than good if Jeongguk doesn’t learn to control himself. This isn’t the time to reawaken old feelings that he pushed down for a good reason. 
Once the cab stops in front of his apartment building, Jeongguk pays him and then helps you out of the car. Body limp and slippery like slinky. 
“No, I forgot how to walk,” you mumbled, leaning against one of the pillars outside the building to keep yourself up straight. “Can’t I just sleep here? It’s comfortable.”
“That’s a concrete pillar.” Jeongguk runs a hand through his slightly dampened hair. “Come on, there’s an elevator and I don’t live too high up. You’ll sleep better on my bed.” 
A pout grows stronger on your face, a few streaks of something black collecting in the corner of your eyes and your lipstick is smeared a little but Jeongguk still finds you so put together and exquisite. Still like that rare flower on top of a mountain peak; beautiful yet impossible to reach. 
“Fine.” You peel yourself off the pillar. “But if you’re lying to me, I’m gonna pinch those cute little cheeks right off your face.” Squishing his flesh momentarily before dropping your hands, Jeongguk blinks a few times in shock. 
Focus, Jeon. She needs to rest. 
Getting you inside is easier than he thought. The promise of the elevator and a warm bed with some water turned you much more docile. But you’re still enamored by his rings which you slip on and off his fingers as the elevator beeps. Then, Jeongguk slips off your shoes and tells you to wait by the kitchen counter while he rifles through his things, handing you a shirt and directing you to the bathroom.
A loud sigh escapes his lips once he’s all alone. Jeongguk has about ten seconds to change himself. He’s been in these tight jeans that squeeze his legs like anything. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone so hard in the gym over the summer. Now most of his old clothes don’t fit him as well as they used to. 
Quickly, he throws on his pajamas just as you emerge from the bathroom and hum a random song from tonight. 
Then, he helps you into bed, groaning out at the soreness in his muscles from all of the lifting he’s been doing today.  You don’t fight back too much, clearly worn out, so you sink into the soft padding easily like a little kitten. He throws the blankets over you, does a quick check to see if you’re okay, and then gets into his own makeshift bed made out of a thin mattress and a set of sheets. 
It’s not nearly as comfortable as his own bed and his back might be mad at him tomorrow but it’ll do for now. 
Just as Jeongguk is beginning to fall into deep sleep, he hears you rusting around, mumbling under your breath about something. Your hands push yourself up on your elbows. For a second, he thinks you’re going to throw up so he gets up quickly and makes his way to his kitchen to grab a plastic bag. 
But you start speaking louder. 
“I can’t believe you, Seojoon.” Your hair sticks out from every corner as you flop back down, lips bloated and pouty, slapping around the comforter and pointing to no one. “I hate you.” Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises, pausing in the middle of his kitchen to decipher what on earth you are talking about.
Clearly, you’re having a nightmare. Jeongguk takes quiet steps back to his spot on the floor in order to avoid that one squeaky 
“You cheated on me with Somin, didn’t you? You bastard. You told me you loved me,” whining, your body twists around. “Why else would I let you fuck me?” 
Jeongguk reels his brain back to stop the curious sympathy right there. He doesn’t want to prod further into this bad dream involving a fight with an ex of some sort. It’s none of his business and clearly this wasn’t meant for him to hear. All he does care about is if you’re going to vomit or not. 
He calls your name. “Are you okay?” Jeongguk whispers. 
You don’t respond. Instead, your face twists in discomfort as you continue to mumble into his mattress and writhe around. 
Jeongguk grows increasingly worried. He doesn’t want you to choke or anything of the sort while he’s deep in REM. Slowly, he gets down on his knees to get a closer look at you tossing and turning.  
“It hurts so much.” 
Jeongguk gently places a hand on your arm, saying your name softly so you don’t wake up. “Hey, you okay? Do you want water?” You twist away from his touch at first. “It’s me, it’s me, it’s Jeongguk,” reminding you as your lids barely part. He thinks you register him, that maybe you’re somewhat awake right now as you begin to curl forward. 
But then your hands clasp Jeongguk’s arms tightly, restricting his every move. 
“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” Your voice slurs, the tip of your nose meeting the fabric of his shirt, fingers digging into the flesh hard enough to leave indents. 
Nothing but confusion clouds Jeongguk’s brain. What are you talking about? 
“You told me you loved me. What? Don’t you want me anymore?”  
Tightening around him, you bury your face into his neck again. Your arms begin to raise, wrap around his shoulders to bring your body closer to his rigid frame. Jeongguk feels wetness from your eyes begin to drip onto his skin, dampening his shirt.
“Just do it then. Just leave me. No one ever sticks around anyways. Guys always leave me the moment something new comes along. Every single one,” you enunciate, vibrating into him, crying softly. “You don’t even care about how much you hurt me. No one cares.” 
Jeongguk is paralyzed under your hold as your tears start to roll down. Your sobs are loud and erratic and painful, as if all of this hurt has building until you eventually couldn’t hold onto it anymore. That it took alcohol and a long night to wedge it out of you. 
It’s contradictory; holding him tight and telling him to leave you.
But he doesn’t push you away and he doesn't let go. Jeongguk lets you grip onto him for safety because he’s terrified that removing his touch could break you even further. 
 He doesn’t know what is happening in your dream to make you behave like this, he doesn’t know what made the previous glee that used to make your eyes bright fade away after all of those years passed. He wants to ask but he doesn't know how. 
All Jeongguk does know is that you were different. Not in a good or bad way but you were simply different.  The happy go lucky little girl grew into a hardened adult. When he looked into your eyes tonight, he saw traces of all of this hurt woven alongside other emotions. Like a heavy blanket that only pushes you further and further deeper into a more melancholic way of being. 
And as he helps you back into bed once your tears stop falling, rubs some cooling Vicks rub on your forehead and pulls the cover close, his brain turns into an echo chamber until he tires himself to sleep. 
No one ever sticks around anyways. 
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
A week has passed and while you thought you could gain control of your physics plight, it seems like the universe has some different plans. 
The tutor that you selected, a second year girl who is majoring in electrical engineering, has been a total flake. You exchanged numbers with her on Thursday during Week 1 and she fed you all of these sweet words about wanting to become friends and teaching in a friendly, kind way which immediately softened you. The last thing you wanted was for some dickhead to call you stupid because you didn’t understand the concept the first time. 
She said she’d meet you at the library that Saturday at 3pm to come up with a schedule and she never showed. So you rescheduled to Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday and now you just feel like an idiot. 
There’s always some excuse. Either she slept in or she’s not feeling well or her roommate needs her but you’re losing your damn mind right now. 
“You’re not paying her, right?” Jeongyeon asks, rummaging through Nayeon’s bag for something. “Maybe she’s a scammer?” 
You give her a dull look. “She doesn’t get paid by me. I think the university does or she’s earning credits, I don’t know. But I’m fucked for the big quiz we have next week.” 
It’s only Week 2 but the material is daunting and frankly put, you’ll shit your pants the day of the actual quiz and whatever date the final is. This is all so unfamiliar to you and, unlike other subjects, you struggle to find that area where the content becomes interesting. All you feel is terror. 
Nayeon, ever the optimist, tries to lift your spirit. 
“Girl, that shit is next week. Do yourself a favor, find a new tutor, study a whole bunch and then ace the quiz. There’s no point in waiting for this random girl to start caring. It’s your grade after all.” 
“Yeah but I just don’t want someone that’s going to be an asshole when I get things wrong.” 
People love to dumb you down, especially those in your own department. Obviously your promiscuity directly correlates to your intelligence. Girls can only be slutty or smart, right? There exists no gray area. But you know yourself. Even if science and math aren’t your thing, you’re a smart person. You got into a top performing university without any fancy prep classes or coaches and you are consistently pulling good grades each semester. That speaks more about you and your capabilities than anything else. 
“I’ve heard this one guy is pretty good. He’s a teacher’s assistant pursuing his masters degree here.” Nayeon takes her phone out to look him up. “My friend was in his Chemistry group sessions and he was apparently super helpful and kind. I think he does physics too. Let me ask her.” 
You perk up. It would be perfect if you could land a tutoring session with this TA instead of your missing student tutor. Even if it’s a group setting
“Let me know what your friend says.” You look away from the two in front of you for a split second as your attention was cut by your phone vibrating on the table. Flipping it over you see a text from your flakey tutor herself. 
Reading it over, you roll your eyes heavily. Another lame excuse about her skipping out on your tutoring session because she scheduled a meeting with her professor at the exact same time by accident. You ignore it and plan to respond with a passive aggressive rejection to end all of this bullshit. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jeongyeon and Nayeon try to discreetly take their edibles before digging into the food you all ordered. 
Steaming plates of rice, kimchi, stir-fry and meats along with a few fried foods makes your stomach grumble. You flip your phone back over and grab your chopsticks, changing the subject quickly. 
“What are you guys doing after this?” You ask. The edibles are going to last a while and considering a weed high has different stages, there’s no way these two are going to be eating the entire time. Munchies aren’t that strong. 
Jeongyeon wiggles her eyebrows suggestively to her girlfriend, cheeks full like a chipmunk, and Nayeon turns beet red. Enough context for you to figure it out, breaking into a fit of giggles. 
“Ohhh, I see.” 
Good for them. If only you were getting laid too. Lately, your vibrator has been your best friend late at night when your mind wanders. 
With thirteen settings, it’s safe to say you won’t be getting bored for a while. 
However, you’ve never done it while being high. You’d want to do it with someone you’re comfortable with, maybe a consistent trustworthy hookup and only if consent is 100% enthusiastic, but you can only imagine how heightened the senses feel. 
Getting lost in thought, you cross one of your legs over the other, thinking about the haziness parting as you ride them slow but deep. Your hands will grip their shoulders, nails digging into the tight flesh as the drag of their length is delicious inside of you. Moaning out loud at how full you feel, watching the sharp bone of his jaw unhinge with pleasure, thick silver earrings brushing your skin, dark hair between your fingers as you increase the pace and drive the two of  you to the tipping point. 
It sounds… so satisfying. 
Fuck, okay, you need to get some control over yourself. It must be the week before your period or something because your mind has been cooking up these scenarios that demand attention. 
And most of the time it involves some familiar looking yet faceless character giving you the best dick you’ve ever gotten. It’s really messing with you. 
How the fuck are you going to be Miss Celibacy if your ass can’t go a week without sex? 
You stab your chopsticks into a large chunk of tofu and stare at the red sauce over the surface before shoving it into your mouth in hopes of distracting you when an angry recognizable voice flutters past your table. 
“..and this bitch has the nerve to look me dead in the eye and go, ‘well, you just lost yourself a customer,’ as if any of us give a shit. Like ma’am I get paid minimum wage to make watery coffee and reheat cardboard sandwiches regardless of your purchase, please leave me alone and die.” 
Turning your head, you see tufts of blonde and shiny boots combined with the soft smell of peaches: Jimin. 
And right next to him is none other than Jeon Jeongguk who is chuckling at Jimin’s whiny Karen tone to describe his awful customer. His cheeks creasing, eyes getting shinier and cute. 
You can feel your body thrum with excitement. 
“Hey guys!” Nayeon waves, setting down her utensils. They turn to look at her, then Jeongyeon and then at you, bowing while greeting. Your shoulders cave in when you feel Jeongguk’s stare on your face. “Do you wanna eat lunch with us?”
“Hell yeah. Is the menu today good?” Jimin asks.  
Jeongyeon, with a mouth full of food, nods excitedly which is perfect. Jeongguk and Jimin laugh, motioning to the lunch line quickly so you save the table and go back to eating your lunches. Your brain demands another curious glance at Jeongguk’s retreating figure. 
What? He looks really fucking sexy from the back. 
Ever since the first day of school,  you agreed to ride the subway back with Jeongguk on the days you end class at the same time and you've come to the conclusion that he is quite literally the hottest guy on the entire planet. Hotter than any other guy you’ve wasted your time with. 
He has the most boyish features but his body is perfectly crafted. Wide shoulders, defined thighs and arms, a super sculpted back, but not overly burly where he looks fake. Like an exquisite marble statue from the Hellenistic period. 
Yes, yes, you know it’s sort of weird considering the fact that you’ve  watched grow up from a cute kid to an emo pre-teen and now jumping to the absolute meal he is now but it’s just some simple attraction. 
One that rears its ugly head whenever Jeongguk laughs or smiles or pushes his hair out of his face or tongues his cheek or does literally anything. 
There are a million reasons why this could’ve happened. From all the time spent together from the subway rides to morning coffee and dinner one night (with all of your friends but it still counts) or you’re thinking this silly little attraction might be a combination of a lack of dick, PMS and pure loneliness. Either way, it isn’t anything major. 
Finding a way to ignore it is the next step.
Nayeon nudges you. “Remind me again, how exactly are you two childhood friends?” Her cheeks puffed with food.  
“Oh, I lived in Busan until high school and he was my neighbor. I would always hang out with him and his two sisters.” You explain, taking another bite of soft sticky rice. 
“Older sisters?”
You shake your head. “One older and one younger.” Wondering why this is relevant. 
But then, Nayeon and Jeongyeon make eye contact, eyebrows raising like they do when they know something you don’t. Meanwhile, you’re just sitting there like an idiot, waiting for context with your chopsticks held halfway up to your mouth. 
“Green flag. Bright green fucking flag.” Jeongyeon whistles. 
“Huh?”  Your chopsticks barely prod your lip without your mouth opening. Did the edibles pull out some secret stoner knowledge that you aren’t aware of? 
Jeongyeon decides to explain it to you. “According to the girlies on tiktok, men with older sisters are usually green flags. Something about learning gentleness and patience and respecting women from an early age or whatever. I don’t get you heteros so it went past my head.” 
You’re puzzled at first. These men all have mothers, they came from a woman who nursed them and cared for them until now, why is having an older sister so different?
But then it hits you. 
The way Jeongguk treats you is so different from the way most guys treat you. There’s no domineering masculinity coming from him in heavy waves trying to overpower you. It’s softer. He’s so approachable and gentle. He never touches you unless you’re okay with it, he’s always polite and kind and sweet. He never makes you feel stupid or inadequate, doesn’t talk over you, nothing of the sort. 
And while it’s the barest of minimum, Jeongguk makes you feel safe. 
Even Jeongyeon and Nayeon, who are often not comfortable around straight men, found him to be a delight. That has to mean something. 
“I…I never thought about it,” your voice goes a little husky. Tucking a stray piece of hair out of your face as your cheeks get a little warm. “He’s just a good guy, you know.  Jihyo, his sister, always kept him in check. I guess, it’s a good thing.” 
Kids lead by example. Growing up in an environment where the adults around you were treating women poorly or pushing people around will appear in relationships. But Jeongguk was the opposite. 
“It is. Think about it,” Nayeon leans in, “after all of those duds you’ve been with, he’s just what you’re looking for.” 
The way your heartbeat accelerates is not a good sign. 
Your chin pulls back, like you’re leaning away from the possibility. “What? I’m not gonna date him, Nayeon,” you groan under your breath. 
“Why not?” She whines, slamming her fists onto the table, then laughing slightly at the indents left on his skin. 
“Because he has no interest in dating right now,” you grumble, remembering his words from his birthday. 
Even if you did try to pursue it, there’s a high chance Jeongguk might only see you as his older sister’s friend. Which is how it should be! It’s best that you let this silly little crush die like a lonely star and maintain your promise of making this year all about you. Your bullet vibrator is going to have to help you whenever you get the urge but besides that, no sex, no dates, no boys, nothing of the sort. 
“Did he tell you that?” Jeongyeon asks, eyes glazing over. The weed must be hitting pretty hard. You’re surprised they can keep up with this conversation. 
Then again, they’re probably used to it. 
You nod. “At the club.” Snorting, your eyes briefly flick to the other side of the cafeteria where a certain someone sits. “Juri offered him her number and he said he wasn’t going to go out with her.”
That seems to wake the brunette up. “Fuck, really? I wish I saw that,” she pouts, leaning on the blonde curled up next to her. Cute. 
“Well, he didn’t say no since you two started fucking hazing him the moment you saw him,” you scold. “But he told me he was going to reject her if/when he saw her in person.” 
“Hey! You were the one who directed us to shoo away any man that came up to you that night.” Nayeon defends. “We were just listening to instructions when we came over to stop you two.” 
Jeongyeon joins in. “Yeah, and he looked like your usual type so we assumed we should pull you away. How were we supposed to know the super hot guy you were talking to was a friend?” 
You open your mouth to quip back when you feel a presence behind you, casting a shadow on your back. The lingering smell of cologne and food dance in the air. A wave of despair crashes inside of your stomach and you really wish a black hole would open up right under to sweep you away from this hellscape. 
“What are you guys talking about?” 
Taehyung Jimin split to sit on the bench between Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s bench and yours. It's a square shaped table with four benches on each side, so enough space for two people per bench. The two couples share a bench while you and Jeongguk get your own, although he still sits closer to you on his own bench. 
“U-uh–” Jeongyeon stutters, looking at you with wide eyes for help. 
“Oh, just some guy,” you fake a laugh, flicking some hair out of your face and turning to food so you can shovel it in your face like a starved person. 
Taehyung laughs a little. “Just some guy? Jeongyeon was saying that he’s super hot and your type.” He’s being cheeky, like he always is, but this time, you can’t engage in a back and forth with him. 
Because the hot sweet guy you were talking about is sitting right next to you. 
Your brain urges you to take a peek. Jeongguk is dressed like he usually is; a pair of baggy cargo pants and a light gray sweatshirt, and he always looks attractive. The fall wind is allowing you to smell the scent of his flowery shampoo in combination with his usual perfume and it’s such an addictive scent that you never want to forget. 
But you can’t think about that. You should be thinking of a lie. 
“I’ve always wondered if you had a boyfriend,” Jimin asks, resting his chin on his palm. A sly smirk forms on his lips, just as cheeky as his own boyfriend’s. “I asked Jeongguk and he said he didn’t know.” 
Fuck. You look at him now, hair swishing with your movements. The boy is eating without a care and shrugs in response. “You never mentioned one.” 
Yeah, because there isn’t one. You’ve never had a boyfriend in your life. 
Sweat beads your palms. There has to be some guy that you can just drop in here for the sake of the conversation. Some random guy out in this cafeteria that is insignificant enough to never cross paths with you again so you can nip this conversation right in the bud. 
You scan the place. There are a few guys you’ve already hooked up with so that’s a no. Some groups of first-years and that’s also a no (you’re not trying to catch a case here). 
For fucks’ sake, are the only hot guys at this school Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk? 
“Uh–”
Nayeon swoops in like a guardian angel. “We were talking about the Physics and Chem tutor. I don’t know if you guys have had him but, Kim Namjoon?” 
Right, the tutor Nayeon’s friend went to. The really nice one. 
She sends you a hidden wink from her end of the table and you respond with a quick finger heart. Bless her soul. 
“Joon? Oh, he is so hot.” Jimin, to your surprise, bounces at the chance to thirst over this supposed sexy tutor that you’ve never seen before. His eyes roll back at the sheer thought of him, leaning closer to gossip.  “He was our tutors for Physics 2 last semester and wow.” He shakes his head, marveled at such a man. “He could top me and then never speak to me again and I’d be okay with that.”
Now you’re curious about this Kim Namjoon. Just how hot is he? 
Taehyung jumps in. “I agree, however, “he holds a single finger up, “I would also like to add Kim Seokjin, the bio tutor.” His eyes roll back dramatically. “Dream threesome. Foursome if you want babe,” he nudges the blonde who blushes in agreement.  
Then the entire table breaks out into giggles and with a little coaxing, Nayeon and Jeongyeon reveal their ideal threesomes which you already know the answers to (Han Sohee and Irene from Red Velvet) since they share the same girl crushes. Then you answer begrudgingly which are the two male leads from Business Proposal because, obviously. However, the person next to you is rather quiet. You lightly nudge his side with your elbow to check in with him. 
“You okay?” You’re asking just in case Jeongguk isn’t comfortable with sex talk. 
But he nods. “Sorry, I’m still listening. Just really hungry. All I had for breakfast was a protein shake.” Jeongguk inhales the glazed stir-fry chicken on his plate, a dot of sauce landing on the corner of his lip and, oh my, do you want to wipe it off for him because he is so cute with his bready baby cheeks all puffed with food.
“Come on,” you pretend to scold. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Jeongguk’s mom would weep if she heard about him skipping. 
He waves it off but you can see his ears get a little red. “Yeah, yeah, I know but I slept through my alarms so I was in a rush this morning. Almost pulled a Taehyung and crashed into the wall while trying to run out.” 
You laugh at the image. Taehyung can be a bit of a klutz. At the club on Jeongguk’s birthday, he almost crashed into an entire table because he was dizzy from doing tiktok dances all night. Your head throws back slightly, eyes fluttering shut, and when you open them again, Jeongguk’s eyes are on you. 
They feel explorative, searching every inch of your face like he doesn’t want to forget a single inch, lips quirked up in a half smile but it’s Jeongguk’s eyes that really take you aback. His eyes have never looked at you like that before. 
As if something is swimming deep in those pools of glimmery chocolate brown; something warm and sweet in there. 
“Sorry,” he blushes, turning his eyes away from your face and back onto his food. Your heart stops for a moment, looking down at his pillowy soft lips. They’re right there, moisturized and pink. All you really have to do is lean in. 
And with the way Jeongguk looks at you, you really fucking want to. 
He’s so beautiful. So pretty and sweet and kind and unlike any other guy you’ve ever wanted. The urge to go for him is almost primal that you can barely hold yourself back. 
Your friends are like little angels in your head, goading you on to just do it. Just kiss him and take him and then drop it. Satiate that part of you that needs sex, that needs to fucked just right, and then move on. It would be different than usual because Jeongguk is different from the previous men so you wouldn’t get hurt. 
Although… 
He’s Jihyo’s little brother, the boy who needed to hold your hand when crossing the street, the kid always on his skateboard or his nose buried in a manga. Would it tarnish everything that you find familiar to just go for it? Would years of a perfectly healthy happy friendship go right down the drain? 
But Jeongguk is an adult, only one year younger than you. There isn’t anything wrong. 
Ideally, you could just lean in and–
“Jeongguk, what was the name of the blue penguin in the Backyardigans? I really need to know like now,” Taehyung urges, breaking your train of thought immediately. 
You fly back as if the contact singes you, curling into yourself and placing a single hand on the surface of the table to catch your breath. You completely forgot about the whole conversation going on around you when you stared into Jeongguk’s pretty deep eyes. 
It’s clear as day to you. With the man he’s become, it’s obvious that you are definitely into Jeon Jeongguk. 
“Huh?” He rasps, slightly out of it too. “Oh-uh, Pablo. He’s the one that sings International Super Spy.” 
“Pablo! I knew it.” Taehyung snaps his fingers loudly. “How do you still remember that?”
Jeongguk awkwardly forces out a laugh. “We watched a few episodes together this summer, remember?” 
“Right. Pretty sure I was blazed out of my mind, though.” 
Jimin nudges him. “Babe, when are you not blazed out of your mind?”
“When I’m with you, baby boy,” he coos.  
The boy next to you groans out loud. “Ugh, you two are so nasty.” His voice is muffled by food but he still gets his point across. You bite back a giggle at the disgust on his face. 
“Jeongguk, you can’t be mean to us. It’s homophobic.” Jimin points a chopstick in his direction but Jeongguk simply shrugs and continues eating without a care. 
Jeongyeon pipes up. “I agree. That applies to you too, Queen of the Straights.” 
The direct hit has pulled you out of your internal panic, reminding you to contribute to the conversation like friends usually do. Your eyes dull a little. “Yes ma’am.”  Faking a soldier’s salute to make everyone laugh. 
You’re glad that everyone else seems oblivious to what just happened because you know that had the two of you been alone, the situation would be entirely different. 
And you don’t know if that outcome would be any better than this one. 
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
On Friday, classes get canceled. 
Thankfully, it’s nothing bad. All of the buildings are getting fumigated to keep out any infestations that might’ve crawled in over the summer since someone thought they saw a cockroach in the Arts building so all the professors decide to post the lecture information online or have virtual class if necessary. 
You had no complaints with this change. Attend class in your pajamas, in your bed, and have the option to fall asleep without getting caught? Sounds perfect. 
Although, no in person class means you don’t get to speak to your Physics professor to complain about your flakey tutor and find a new one which you were banking on completing before you had your huge quiz next week. So, once your final lecture ends, you begin to worry about how the hell you’re going to resolve that problem. 
Sure, you could easily self-review with the resources online but you’ve always learned more theoretical concepts with someone explaining it to you in person so you could ask questions immediately. 
You shut your laptop off and place it on top of the long coffee table you use as a desk. An open notebook with notes sits on your right, pen clicked off, highlighters placed neatly in your pencil case, and the silence of your studio apartment almost starts ringing in your ears. 
Who do you know that can tutor you for physics? 
Nayeon sent you the email address for the Namjoon person whom everyone is vouching for. You asked this morning  if he had any space in his tutoring session but he responded saying that he does but he isn’t having a session today and he’s happy to answer any questions over email or through a video call individually. 
You genuinely consider that option until you look up at the decor in your room that Namjoon has no chance of missing during the video call. 
Now, you wouldn’t call yourself a strange person, if anything you are a well-adjusted member of society,  but the pieces chosen to hang up in your studio apartment would raise some eyebrows. From the poster of Bibble from Barbie saying Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss to the concerning amount of Sanrio plushies you’ve collected over the years to all of the cat beds and toys thrown around the place and the impressive array of diffusers in every corner, your apartment is an amalgamation of you. 
And you don’t know if this Namjoon guy is going to take one look at the place and peg you down as a fucking weirdo or not. You want to make a good impression on him. 
So, you wrack your brain for a different option to help you just before your quiz next week. 
Someone. Anyone. 
Your worst bet is to walk over to the nearest cram school and ask someone there but those are all high school students and you’d die of embarrassment. 
Then you remember, Jeongguk took Physics last semester. Maybe he can help. 
Quickly, you pat around your duvet for your phone. It’s lying screen down a few inches away from Snowball’s sleeping body. Carefully, you grab the device, scroll through your contacts and call him with fiery hope coursing through you thickly.
“Hello?” His voice drips from the speakers like flowing water and you want to drown in it. 
“Hey, are you done with online classes?” You ask, on your back and knees to your chest in a very suggestive position. 
“Uh almost,” Jeongguk trails off. “Why? What’s up?”
You hold back a goofy smile at his distracted tone. “You know how you said you took physics last semester?” He hums in response. “Do you think you could explain a few concepts to me? I have this big ass quiz soon and I don’t wanna bomb it.” 
You wait. The pessimist in you expects a rejection, a flat out ‘I’d rather die than waste my time explaining physics concepts to a 21-year-old,’ but the optimist is waiting with a bouquet of roses on the other side. 
This is Jeongguk we’re talking about. Sweet, sweet, lovely Jeongguk. Not that dickhead that sits in the back of lecture and watches hentai on his phone. 
“Oh. I’m not the best teacher.”
Both the optimist and pessimist in your head are waiting on the balls of their feet. That wasn’t the answer you were expecting but it's an answer you aren’t hurt by! 
“That’s okay! I just need someone to go over it with me. As long as you aren’t mean, I won’t complain.” You want to appeal to Jeongguk in a way that’ll get the guy to bend a little and what other way to a man’s heart than food? “I’ll repay you with dinner,” you sing-song.  
There’s a brief pause, like he’s considering the option while noises mumble in the background. “What’s the menu?” Jeongguk asks. 
God, he’s so cute. Your cheeks are raised so high, they might as well curl into your eyes. 
“I live near a great fried chicken place.” Works out perfectly because you’ve been craving something fried for a while now. Must be your period. 
Jeongguk barely waits a second. “Sold. Text me the time and your address.”
You cut the call after bidding each other goodbye. A giddy squeal almost bubbles out of your lips until you realize that you have about two hours until Jeongguk is in your apartment for the first time ever. 
Alone. No friends. No family. 
Just you and this super hot guy. 
No interruptions. Complete privacy. 
You launch out of bed so fast that you wake up Snowball from her slumber. Quickly, you shower and you take your time to scrub your body with lilac body wash and shave. Usually Friday is your pamper day so this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Then you wash your greasy hair to rid yourself of the conditioning hair mask you slathered on this morning. After your shower, you walk around your studio with your fluffy bathrobe and microfiber towel on to find the perfect outfit. 
It has to be comfortable but cute. Even though Jeongguk is just tutoring you and there is a high chance that this meeting will only be platonic, you still want to look your best. 
Rummaging through your dresser drawers and closet, your eyes immediately fall to your collection of baby-doll lingerie sets in various colors. An expensive purchase, but you’ve always enjoyed dressing up every now and then. Your fingers dance across the itchy lace, thinking about which one Jeongguk would like? Lilac? Baby pink? Maybe the nude one with the intricate designs on the cups? Or how about the blood red and black one that looks like it came straight out of a BDSM film? 
Nah, that’s too much. You go for yoga pants, a plain t-shirt and a quarter-zip with your university’s logo on it. Then selecting a lacy pair of underwear and no bra. You hate wearing one at home anyways. 
The clothes lay spread out on your bed as you begin your post shower process of lotion, deodorant, a soft scented body spray and then your clothes. Then, you dry your hair and then begin cleaning up the little clutter you have over the place. You’re a neat person, which others find shocking, so there isn’t much to do. You dry some dishes on the rack, reset your bedsheets, light up a candle, empty the litter box, and eat a mediocre salad as you wait for the clock to strike 5pm. 
Time moves at a microscopic pace, probably because you’re staring at the moving hands in hopes that you’ll blink at the pretty boy will be standing at your doorstep. You should focus on something else in the meantime. So you take out your physics notebook and begin reviewing. 
Next week’s quiz will be on a little under ½  of the energy chapter covered so far. You’ve been paying attention, taking diligent notes, and doing pretty good on the homework but the topics still freak you out.  
It’s a STEM thing. You haven’t taken one since your first year so you’re rusty and the material seems extra intimidating. Unlike Jeongguk, Jimin and Taehyung, you don’t study this on a daily basis. 
But there’s nothing you won’t be able to conquer without working. 
About halfway through your revision is when the buzz of your home intercom rings, shocking you out of your thoughts. Slowly, you get up, dusting the invisible particles off your clothes and going over to the machine to let Jeongguk in. There’s a short waiting game, lasting about two minutes, as he probably comes up from the lobby and reaches your door before knocking. 
You’re putting a kettle of water to boil as the sound resonates and you rush over to open the door with a bright smile on your lips. 
“Hey,” you breathe out, taking in the sights before you. 
As always, Jeongguk looks perfect in a gray long-sleeve t-shirt and black sweats. Like the comfy soft boyfriend of your dreams. His hair is a little damp at the ends but it waves a little past his eyebrow as it grows and his backpack straps pull his shirt wide to show off his broad shoulders. 
Fucking hell, you think. You want to eat him up and ruin him. 
Swallowing shakily, you step aside as he grins. “Hi.” Jeongguk’s voice is low, like usual, but a little buttery and less hoarse. Almost sexy. 
Basically, it’s doing things to you. 
Carefully, you lead him inside where Jeongguk takes his shoes off and stares at the place with those big eyes of his. You wonder what goes through that pretty head of his as he stares at the various stuffed animals and the wall art. But, instead, he lands on the Kirby shaped cat-bed at the base of your bed holding Snowball’s half-asleep body. 
“You have a cat?” He asks. 
“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” You walk in front of the thing, squatting down in front of the entrance to hold a hand out for the ball of fluff to sniff. Snowball headbutts you immediately. “You didn’t inherit your dad’s allergy, did you?” 
That would crush you. As much as you like dogs, you’re a cat person at heart or a Snowball person at heart. 
Jeongguk shakes his head no. Then he comes to the same spot you are and gets on his knees on the opposite side of you, watching with curious doe eyes. Slowly, Jeongguk extends his hand out, thinking Snowball needs time to get used to him like some cats do, but no. She’s friendly and extroverted, getting out of the bed to welcome Jeongguk with an excited soft-tone trill.
It’s heartwarming watching her melt into his touch, purring and climbing into Jeongguk’s lap the more he pets her on all of her favorite spots. 
“You’ve been accepted,” you muse, crossing your arms over your stomach in hopes that by pushing on it, that buttery, gooey, sugary feeling will go away. 
“Yay,” Jeongguk cheers cutely. “What’s her name?” 
“Snowball.” 
“Snowball!” He coos. “You are the cutest ever!” Jeongguk leans down to tell her, slight aegyo in his tone. The rounded tip of his nose brushes the top of her small head
No, you are, is what zings through your mind but don’t tell Snowball you thought that.  
Since your knees start screaming at you to get up, you leave Jeongguk and Snowball to go check on the kettle which is at its very end of boiling the water. You get up on your tiptoes to pull out two white mugs and before grabbing your go-to peach green tea packets, you ask Jeongguk. 
“Tea or coffee?” 
Jeongguk looks up from Snowball curled on his lap, the body of a bright grin on his lips. “Coffee please.” When you nod, he goes back to petting the white feline without another care. 
His adorable politeness removes any nerves you had or any prior sheepishness from the way your studio apartment looks. Small and decorated with all of your interests. The only people that have ever been here are your mother, Jeongyeon and Nayeon. Hookups were always at their place or a hotel so it’s a little odd to see Jeongguk seated on your floor. 
But at the same time, it’s Jeongguk on your floor so you aren’t that worried. 
Pouring the mugs with steaming hot water, you grab a packet of instant coffee while your tea bag steeps and you make Jeongguk his coffee. In the meantime, he’s seated by your coffee table/desk, shrugging his backpack off while Snowball sits beside Jeongguk diligently. Like she’s protecting him from whatever she thinks is going to attack him. 
“I like your place,” Jeongguk says, shocking you for a moment. “It’s very,” he trails off. “Very you.” 
You give him a dulled look over your shoulder. “What do you mean by that?”
“You know, it’s got all of your favorite things.” His chin gestures to the Sanrio stuffed animals, the various figurines from all of your favorite animes, the vintage posters, the bunny paraphernalia, all of your favorite things, like Jeongguk said. 
You turn, pressing the small of your back to the cold counter behind you. “Your place is nice too,” you add for the sake of returning the compliment, although it is true. 
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Yeah but, my landlord is a gaping asshole and hates the idea of posters and paintings since he’s scared it’ll fuck up the wall. It’s nice but it feels dead,” he gives your apartment one more look, “but yours has some personality, you know? I’m kinda jealous.” 
His smile is genuine, sweet and kind. You find yourself melting from the sheer sight of it but you hold yourself back. Don’t want to look too whipped.  
Exhaling with some laughter, you start bringing the mugs over along with some biscuits since it’s tea time. “The first apartment we had when we moved here was like that. The landlord didn’t even let my mom change the curtains even though the ones that came with the place had stains all over it.” Jeongguk grimaces at the thought. “But Mrs. Jeong from our Busan apartment was so nice.” 
What a sweet woman. She would often come down whenever she heard one of them had a cold or if there was a birthday and she was never harsh when your mother’s checks bounced or if she needed an extra day because she hadn’t gotten paid yet. She was the reason you thought all landlords had some semblance of empathy but no. 
“We lived there for about fifteen years. It sucked having to leave.” 
“Oh my god, I didn’t know you moved out!” You gasp, shifting yourself to face him completely. “Is your current place closer to the bakery?”
“No, it’s actually farther but it’s closer to the center of Busan so public transport is good. Plus, noona got a car so it’s not too bad.” 
You sigh. Fuck, you miss Busan so much. Even hearing the slight satoori in Jeongguk’s voice does wonders for your nostalgia as yours only peeks out when you’re angry thanks to teasing from all of the Seoul elitists. 
The beach, the food, the fresh air, the streets, you miss all of it. Such a simple time. You’ve always dreamed of settling there once you’ve figured your life out. It was your end goal. 
“I wanna hear more but let’s get physics out of the way first,” you tap your notebook twice and Jeongguk moves to his backpack to take some items out to start the tutoring session. 
And, to no one’s shock, Jeongguk is actually a really great tutor. 
He’s patient with you and doesn’t mind giving you constant encouragement when you get a bit insecure halfway through a word problem. On concepts you’re unsure about, Jeongguk explains them in the simplest way possible without getting haughty. No outbursts if you make the same mistake two times in a row, he never once calls you stupid or says you’re wasting his time. Jeongguk gently coaches you until you try to solve some problems on your own from the textbook without his help and he checks them afterwards, telling you what you did right and wrong.   
Quite literally, this is all that you wanted. 
Someone to answer your questions, explain a few concepts, and walk you through a couple of examples without questioning your smarts as a whole. 
It’s nice. You feel safe and even better, you feel actually prepared for the quiz which is the opposite of how you felt this morning. You aren’t even worried about it at all. 
After clearing through the sample quiz and practice problems easily in a matter of about 2 ½ hours, you two are all done tutoring. Which means freedom for the rest of the night. 
Quickly, you connect your laptop to the small TV mounted on the wall and put on Love Island since neither of you have watched it. Jeongguk is rather curious about it since Jimin and Taehyung won’t stop talking about it,  so you decide to jump into the newest season with him while leaning against your bed and pulling up the menu for the fried chicken place.
“I’m getting honey garlic,” you tell him when you hand him your phone.  
“Then, I’ll do the spicy cheese one.” He leans closer instead of taking the device and you really wish he didn’t because your body reacts to the proximity with goosebumps erupting all over you like you’re a teenager again. 
Your eyes flick up to his side profile, which is literally perfect. His jaw is strong, well cut, defined and his skin is the color of fresh milk tea. You can see little imperfections on his skin like old acne scars, the slightly chapped surface of his lips, and all of his shiny earrings. You love the way he looks and how Jeongguk has grown into his features.  The urge to trace his jawline with your tongue is insane, almost caustic inside of you. It’s impossible to push down. You sort of dressed up for this tutoring date, throwing on a pair of your favorite panties, lathering yourself in the softest lotion; you took all of the right steps and you’re hungry for a certain ending even though there’s a high chance it won’t happen at all. The horny side of you is begging for you to shoot your shot. 
But you stop. Not yet. Not right now. 
While Jeongguk picks out drinks, appetizers and the dessert he wants,  you rush to the bathroom for a second. In the mirror, you take notice of your reddened cheeks and parted lips and the messy wisps of hair sticking out. You quickly tie it back into a loose braid and then splash some water on your face. 
Reel it back, bitch.  
While in the bathroom, you call out. “Hey Jeongguk? Could you get my wallet? It’s on top of my dresser, the one next to my closet.” Might as well pay now so you can get the chicken faster. 
“Okay!” He responds. 
The noise your stomach makes is loud and painful. The salad you had did nothing to satiate your cravings so the thought of chicken, perfectly fried to a crisp and covered in garlicky sweet sauce has you practically salivating. Especially since you’ve been eating so healthily as of late. It’s nice to treat yourself to some fast food.
Afterwards, you trudge back on over to the coffee table and plop down silently while Jeongguk puts in your card information. Meanwhile, you remember to feed Snowball for dinner and give her some much needed attention by bringing her to sit with the two of you so she can be pet and loved. 
Jeongguk’s warmth emanates from his shoulder that is inches away from you while the Love Island intro song plays at the start of every new season. Half-heartedly, you watch the corny antics as each contestant introduces themselves with the main host speaking over and you think about how much internal anguish you’re feeling at the moment. 
An object prods into your forearm. You look down to see the rounded edge of your credit card. “I paid,” Jeongguk tells you. You don’t respond verbally, taking the plastic and shoving it into the slot of your card wallet. 
“Thanks,” you mumble. You bring your knees up to your chest and rest your chin on top of them, hoping to get into the various shirtless tattooed guys on your television screen. It’s an easy task. Shows like Love Island don’t ask too much of you but you can get into it enough where other thoughts begin to fade. 
You check your phone to see that the chicken should be delivered in about 10 minutes. Then you can have food and TV to reward you for all of your hard work. 
The beginning is awkward as each person picks their couple purely based on looks and their name. You cringe when a guy comes in and no one steps up to match with him so he has to randomly choose a girl who was either too shy to step up to say she thinks he’s cute or not at all interested in him. It sounds like such an awkward place to be in and you’d hate to be on either side of the situation. 
Jeongguk, on the other hand, isn’t a reality TV kind of guy. So he has a million questions and comments throughout the 57 minute episode. 
“I don’t get it. They just shove 10 hot people in a house and they have to like each other?” 
“Fuck, that’s how you’re supposed to say Leicester?” 
“That one guy looks like such a fuck boy. Why would you ever get a chest tattoo of an eagle?” 
“What happens if you don’t like anyone you match with? Can you just leave?” You shrug in response. This is your first time watching this show too.  “I’d leave so fast if I was on this show. None of these people would interest me.”
“Me too,” you respond, playing with the frayed edge of an old receipt sticking out of one of the wallet pockets. “I’d get the ick so fast and then hop on the first plane back home.” 
Jeongguk’s bantering turns the simple binge into something more. You start laughing, indulging his every whim, making fun of the guys trying too hard to flirt and seem suave and it’s really fun. You manage to barely remember the way you felt when you came out of the bathroom. 
Is this how it should always be? Platonically hanging out? 
Was it a good thing that you stopped yourself before your desires took over your logic?
You don’t know. You don’t want to either. You just want to sit back and enjoy the rest of this lovely day off. 
After another few minutes of watching the show, you feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you. Wide, glittery, washing over every inch of your skin like he’s trying to commit your features to memory. You raise an eyebrow in question. For a moment, he doesn’t do anything, just stares at you, and then he points to your phone screen where a notification from the delivery app shows. 
The food is here. 
Quickly, you go down, slipping some slides on your feet and shoving your hands in the pockets of your sweater. The delivery person hands you the plastic bag with steaming boxes and you thank them before trundling back upstairs. The smell that wafts to you is mouth-wateringly delicious. 
This. This is your treat after a grueling two weeks of school. 
You bring it up for you and Jeongguk to dig into. The chicken is fresh and delicious and in combination with Jeongguk’s commentary, you start to really enjoy yourself. Especially as all your sex related thoughts begin to push to the back of your brain and the night gets more fun yet relaxing. The food is good and the drinks are refreshing. 
Afterwards, you crack open a bag of  kit kats to share with him to cap off the meal with something sweet since none of the desserts at the restaurant sounded appealing to either of you. 
Love Island is addictive. Your friends were right about it. Two episodes later and the two of you are curious about who is the new islander coming and how they are going to shake things up. 
The TV is on the wall mounted across your bed and coffee table. For the sake of your backs, you move Jeongguk to the bed and take some pillows to lean against so your backs aren’t completely sore by the next morning. 
Although, you do wish your back was sore for another reason but let’s not get into that just yet. 
Since you don’t have a lot of pillows, you share your main one, meaning you’re a lot closer to Jeongguk than you originally planned. To the point where your arms are pressed against each other and your legs are brushing. It makes you nervous to be this close. His perfume is a strong elixir, heady and comforting, pushing you to lean in and bury your face into the delectable skin of his neck. Even his neck, wow. The skin is so smooth, there’s a mole right in the middle of it. You want to sink your teeth into the flesh and use your lips and tongue to paint it all sorts of beautiful colors. 
Sweat begins to form on your hairline. You get nervous with Jeongguk sitting so close to you, hands itching to do something. First they play around with the single star pendant on your necklace, then at a loose thread on your comforter, and then you decide to redo your hair. 
The braid has become a straggly mess with you leaned against things so you pull your hair tie off and begin to undo your braid. At the very least, it is something for your hands to do, keep them occupied and away. 
From Jeongguk that is. You don’t want to obstruct his view or break his attention. 
Pushing off from the pillow, suddenly something happens on screen that makes your head turn abruptly  to see who said what and your hair wacks Jeongguk right in the eye. 
“Shit,” he hisses, clutching his face, curling inwards. 
You begin to panic, turning in on your knees to get closer to him. 
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I was trying to tie my hair and then something happened on screen so I–” you stop midway, no need for an explanation. Instead, check to see if your hair scratches him in the cornea or not.
Jeongguk’s legs, that were once crossed, are now spread wide without your body taking up the space next to him on your bed. Without a second thought, you cross over the one closest to you and end up in between his two long legs. One hand on his shoulder to grab his attention. 
“Are you okay?” You ask worriedly, trying to search his gaze but Jeongguk’s eyes are turned down. “Jeongguk?” 
Muffled, he speaks up. “Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Jeongguk drops his hands onto his thighs before blinking a few times and you see a telltale tear pool from his big doe eyes, dripping down the slope of his cheek. 
A huge wave of guilt crashes inside of you. 
You made Jeongguk cry. 
Not intentionally but still. He’s crying. 
“Aw,” you cup his cheeks, searching his irises for anything like you’re a licensed ophthalmologist or something, wiping the stray tear with your thumb.“I’m really sorry. Do you need eye drops or anything?” You sit down on your feet, leaning closer to see him. “I can go check in my medicine box if I have any left from Spring.”
He doesn’t respond. 
 Jeongguk freezes immediately with you between his legs. As if all of his blood stops flowing through his veins and he’s turned to stone by Medusa. He glances at every corner of your face, at the strands of hair framing it, like he’s never seen you before. His jaw unhinges and the tip of his pink tongue is just barely visible. 
You don’t even notice how close you get. So worried about the possibility of your hair scratching his cornea that you forget that your knees are brushing against his crotch. Nor do you think about how your face is near, you’re literally staring down like you’re about to kiss him despite dreaming about being in this position all day. 
The only thing echoing in your mind is: Is Jeongguk okay? 
Not another thought. 
“I–” he stops, lips parted, “I’m okay, really.” 
Jeongguk’s palm gently pushes your hands off of his cheeks and he shifts in his spot. 
He’s practically shielding himself for you. His legs are pushed up to his chest now. Jeongguk looks like an animal that’s getting scolded for spilling food everywhere and you cannot understand why on earth he’d be making a face like that. 
“Is something wrong?” You ask. Jeongguk covers his face but you can see his ears starting to turn red. 
You inch closer to him and gently wrap your fingers around his wrist. You’re so close you can smell the gentle perfume he’s sprayed on his neck and the inviting scent of his hair serum. But he’s wriggling around like a fish out of water and it’s scaring you. 
His hands move down, ripping his wrist out of your grip to cover up his crotch and you see a glimpse of the obvious bulge poking from his sweatpants. 
Oh. 
You recoil, muscles tightening as your brain moves a mile a minute. Something Jeongguk must sense from you because he starts explaining way faster than you thought he would. 
“I’m sorry! This is–I can leave if you’d like–” 
“It’s okay, Jeongguk,” you mumble. Your voice is soft. 
It’s okay. It’s more than okay. 
It’s better than okay. 
Jeongguk continues to panic, deaf to your obvious nonchalance about him popping a boner right after you almost blinded him. “I don’t–It just sort of happened-and-and I wasn’t like–thinking a-about you or doing anything–it just,” he pauses midway, sighs to catch his breath, stops nervously stuttering,  and then turns to get up which makes you a little nervous. “I’ll go to the bathroom and get rid of it–”
In a flash, your hand wraps around his wrist to stop him from moving. 
“It’s okay,” you repeat. “I’m not grossed out.” Literally, you are the complete opposite of that but barely you mull it over one last time before speaking up again. “I could fix it, if you’d like.” Just before your conscience could stop you.
This is it. This is your chance to have him. Just once, satiate that need, and then you can go back to normal. 
The universe practically handed you this opportunity on a golden platter so you should take it. Given that Jeongguk is down too. 
His eyes go adorably wide. “W-what?” Jeongguk stutters. 
“I could help you deal with it.”  You say once more. 
At least your voice is clear and sure. On the inside, you’re just a giant piece of adrenaline. 
Jeongguk relaxes some more, gulping, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob. His shoulders broaden like he’s trying to seem confident but you can tell that he’s nervous as fuck too. 
“Why would you do that?” 
Oh, you pretty thing. You have no idea, do you?
“I don’t mind,” you shrug. Feeling bold, the hand that rests on his shoulder squeezes the mass indulgently and Jeongguk feels exquisite. You want to rip all of these clothes off of his body. “You helped me with physics so,” trailing off, as if it’s the only logical solution to this problem. 
To you, it feels like it is. Trade an A on a quiz for an orgasm. 
Plus, you finally get to rid yourself of this intense sexual tension building inside of you. A combination of your hormones and your loneliness all cooked up to make a touch-starved mess at the tiniest thing. Being with Jeongguk could be just what you need to get your focus back on yourself. He’s gorgeous, inside and out, so there’s no intense guilt to bubble from letting some douchebag grow an even bigger ego by sleeping with you. 
Jeongguk is still apprehensive. “You… you know you don’t-like-owe it to me to fix this, right? Just because I got hard doesn’t mean it’s your job to do something for me.” 
You’re taken aback. 
Most guys wouldn’t have even protested. Your mouth would be on his dick and the minute they come, you’d be all alone. They’re the types to view sex in a very individualistic manner. 
A dopey smile makes its way to your lips. “I know. This isn’t a really transactional thing.” You cup his cheek with one hand this time and trace the deep scar there absentmindedly. “I actually want to do this.” 
If Jeongguk were to hear the insane things your brain produces, you wonder if he’d run for the hills or be flattered. Definitely the former. 
“Okay but um,” he avoids your eyes, looking off to the side and you sort of love Jeongguk like this. It’s so different from his nonchalant easygoing behavior.  “I’ve never,” he searches for the words, changes his mind halfway through, and finds another path. “No one has ever like-oh god this is embarrassing–”
You decide to save him. “No one’s ever given you a blowjob?” 
He nods behind his hands that rose to cover his reddening face during his reveal. God, he’s adorable. 
“Really?”
“Is that such a surprise?”
“Yeah, I mean, you’re hot.” You say truthfully. His change of expression does wonders for your confidence. So much so that you decide to bite the bullet and run a hand through his hair affectionately. “How far have you gone?”
The strands are silky smooth, flowing through your fingers like water, and Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut at the sensation as he mumbles out a response. 
“I kissed someone but only a few times. I got dragged to a high school party and played spin the bottle but nothing more than that.” 
This is new for you. Almost every guy you’ve ever been with is experienced or way more experienced than you. From the guy in high school who took your virginity all the way to Wooshik. And they varied from vanilla guys to those who are super into the dom/sub spiel. You’ve never been the experienced one and it feels different. 
Like you’re corrupting him, forcibly taking away something precious. Like Mrs. Robinson on the prowl for someone younger whom she can use to her advantage. 
And even though that isn’t the case with you and Jeongguk, you want this to be different than your first time. If anything, you want him to feel safe and wanted and to let him know that, at any point, if he wants to stop then it will stop. Just like there’s no obligation for you to make him feel good, there is no obligation for him to return the favor. 
“Then let’s start with that and then we can move on if you’re comfortable. Or we don’t have to do anything and we can just forget about it. Whatever you want.” 
You won’t do anything unless he wants you to. As much as you want to touch him, as much as you need sex, you’re totally fine with taking things at his pace. 
And if he rejects this entire thing and opts to fix his situation in the bathroom, that’s okay too. 
Jeongguk presses the back of his head against the wall in thought, giving you an amazing view of his jawline, until he shyly speaks. “Okay.” 
“Okay?” You want to be sure, hiding the fact that you are utterly elated on the inside.  Jeongguk just turns more red as he avoids your eyes peering into him. 
“You–we can start. I-if that’s what you want.” 
You exhale through your nose. “Oh, you have no idea how much I want to.” 
Before he can question you, you lean down and gently connect your lips with his. 
There’s a moment where it feels foreign, where your body becomes covered with goosebumps at the sheer adrenaline coursing through you and the way your brain freaks out at the change. This is happening, you’re finally doing this, but you take a second to just press and feel. Be in the moment and stop trying to control everything, then you’re fine. 
It’s easy because Jeongguk’s lips are pillowy soft. 
Starting off with a quick peck, you split for a second, nose brushing, and then you kiss Jeongguk again. This time it’s much stronger. Any lack of confidence melts when your lips move languidly against Jeongguk. He’s responsive to your every movement, feeling the inside of your mouth with his own, while his hands rest appropriately on your hips. His lip balm is rose flavored and delectable. Jeongguk is a good kisser. 
The noises fill the quiet apartment as you move closer and cup his jaw on one side while your other hand goes back to his silky soft hair to move your lips cohesively. You adjust yourself so that instead of kneeling between his legs, you’re straddling his thick muscular thighs and they feel exquisite against you, pulling a soft sigh from your lips. 
Jeongguk must feel your exhale, gaining some bravado to take the lead when he kisses you, setting the pace as his own hands begin to move from their comfortable spot on your hips. Part of you really wants to push them down to your ass to feel those big sexy hands grab a handful but you want to wait to see what he does.
He kisses you a little wet but wanton, igniting a deep burning flame inside of you. It’s bright, hot, and you can’t pull yourself away from him the more your lips collide, suckle, and slot. 
Jeongguk’s hands begin tracing up your back with a feather-light touch, and your lips part at the feeling when he unexpectedly inches his tongue into your mouth. 
Looks like he wasn’t lying when he said he’s kissed before. 
Crackles of pleasure bubble in you. Kissing can turn you on, if the guy is good at what he does, and Jeongguk is doing just that. That throbbing sensation takes over and you find yourself clenching around nothing, dreaming of having something just fill you just how you like. His tongue tangles with yours. The kiss starts to get much sloppier, something you didn’t realize you were craving until now, and you rise up on your knees while gently tugging on his hair in a flash of atypical roughness on your end. 
Your mind refuses to process that this is Jihyo’s little brother who is kissing you silly. Right now, he’s Jeongguk. 
Jeongguk with the gorgeous eyes and the gorgeous body who got hard the moment you inched closer. 
You decide to grind down on him, especially when the curve of his bulge becomes more prominent against your ass, and Jeongguk muffles a noise into your mouth. The fabric of your underwear drags across your neglected clit, pulling another sigh out of you. It’s a small jolt of pleasure and you can feel yourself dampen even more. From the action and from the way Jeongguk sounds. 
Another moan comes from Jeongguk when you grind against him again and again, whiny yet soft. It’s doing something to you. His hands squeeze your hips and then one drifts to the back of your thigh. 
Pulling away to catch your breath, you press your forehead against his. There’s a thin layer of sweat building on your skin but your arms loop comfortably around Jeongguk’s neck, tugging his body forwards. His eyes glimmer at you, with kiss-bruised lips and the beginnings of his pearly white bunny teeth peeking out from between. You resist the urge to dive down again, instead wanting to appreciate the absolute view you have right now. 
Your fingers tangle in a lock of his soft black hair. “You’re so gorgeous,” you whisper, taking in his forehead, his jawline, his perfect nose, and every single one of his moles. 
Jeongguk, who is already blushed and heavily breathing, gets even more shy at your compliment, looking away from you to avoid your teasing smile. Which just makes you want to shower him in more praise just to see how embarrassed he can get. 
“So pretty, so handsome,” your finger traces his jaw before going down to his unblemished neck where the skin looks so soft but the area is taut and beautiful. You want to see how he’d look with hickeys. “I want to mark you,” you point to the middle of the right side of his neck, “right here.” 
Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise to his hairlines. “You want to give me a hickey?” He says incredulously. You nod. 
“I want you to remember this.”
Usually, you aren’t the possessive type but you think about Juri, walking through campus and finding Jeongguk, someone that she’s expressed interest in, like this. Covered in marks you left, reeling after the pleasure you gave him. You know the chance is unlikely and if Jeongguk were to run into her, you doubt he’d tell her any bit of what you two had done but it’s the principle of it all. 
That she can be a misogynistic pick-me/not-like-the-other girl all she wants, you still pull better than she ever will. 
Maybe then, she’ll keep your name out of her damn mouth. 
Jeongguk exhales quietly, holding some weight. “Do you actually think I’ll forget this?” 
You smirk. “Dunno, but I can’t let a pretty little thing like you get away, can I? Especially with all of those other girls who love to stare.”
It happens often whenever you two would be walking from class or on public transport and people would stare at Jeongguk. Not that you’d blame them. With a face like that, Jeongguk could debut as an idol and win the hearts of millions, he could act or model even, but then you become more aware of the fact that someone even better could scoop him up at any time and you wouldn’t stand a chance against them. 
“I won’t,” he starts, shaking his head with eyes so honest and truthful that you almost collapse in his hold. “I won’t go away and I won’t forget, okay?” Jeongguk pleads with you, holding your body still with two exact hands on your hips. 
You swear your stomach feels a group of butterflies flapping about, along with unicorns and rainbows and glitter and all of that silly shit when Jeongguk says that. The hand in his hair cups his cheek, thumb tracing his cheekbone. 
“You won’t?” 
“Never,” Jeongguk presses firmly. “And,” he hesitates for a moment, “and I’m not looking at anyone else right now, either. There’s just you.” 
There’s just you. 
The sentence sounds like a confession. Like he’s being honest while you were just being horny and possessive. You feel your act drop, whatever front you were putting up, it drops, and you don’t know what to say at first. 
The truth? You aren’t thinking about anyone else either. You don’t want to. You want Jeongguk. There’s only Jeongguk right now. 
Had this been with any other person, you wouldn’t feel comfortable being honest with them. You wouldn’t trust them not to use that against you but you know Jeongguk and you trust Jeongguk more than anything. 
“I… I’m not looking at anyone either,” you manage to mumble out. Now you’re the one who is all red and shy. 
And watching Jeongguk’s expression change when you said that… priceless. 
He stares at you like you hung all of the stars in the sky, that you push the sun up in the sky every morning, like the dew droplets on the blades of grass, like it was just you. 
It’s perfect yet so much at the same time. You want to say more but you don’t know what else you could say so you meet his gaze, then dip down to his lips, and he nods so you lean in to kiss him again. 
He makes a noise of surprise, immediately licking fiercely into your mouth to meet the movements of your lips. Slowly, Jeongguk pulls away from the wall and begins moving down to lay against the bed, holding himself up with a forearm on the soft material and strengthening his hold on you so you wouldn’t slip off from him. 
You feel Jeongguk grin against your lips at your eagerness but he maintains the energy. Arching your back a little, mostly for show, you reach back and push one of Jeongguk’s hands further down to your ass. He’s been so careful and gentle with you so far and, as nice as it is, you want more. His eyebrows furrow against you, curling his palm over the tangible curve before giving your ass a tentative squeeze and pulling a muffled moan from you. 
So Jeongguk does it again. Does it with more vigor, digging his fingers into the flesh of your cheek and grinding his hips upwards. Gets you throbbing insufferably and so wet. 
“Jeongguk,” you gasp into his mouth, meeting the movement of his hips with your own. The bulge in his pants becomes really prominent as you break the kiss, moving down his strong jawline to his perfect neck. 
Whatever perfume he uses, the smell is strong now, filling your olfactory senses with sweet powdery softness. Your lips search for that spot you ache to mark, digging your teeth into the gentle flesh and soothing  the area over with your tongue. 
The noise he makes…
Jeongguk whimpered when you were sucking and biting on his skin. 
It took so much willpower for you to not rip his damn top off when that sound reached your ears. You were so wet and throbbing in your pants, desperate for some form of touch besides your soaked underwear against your clit. If you could, you’d cover his entire body with hickeys, paint his neck all sorts of beautiful colors if it were socially acceptable for someone to be walking around like that and not have everyone’s immediate thought be that he got jumped or something. 
But you practice restraint and suck on the hot skin, kissing, and doing your best to keep yourself under control even if your wetness was starting to become bothersome. Jeongguk’s hands on your ass don’t help with that either. 
The hold helps you feel the shape of his fingers which are pretty long and thick. You’ve seen them writing, typing, gripping onto the pole in the subway so the veins and tendons pop out and you’ve reached a conclusion that you need to feel them inside of you. Pumping deep and slow. Since the digits are longer than yours, they would reach that damned spot inside, turn you into a shaking, coming, mess. You crave that. 
Even before Wooshik, these dry spells weren’t uncommon. You know that it’s just your monthly horror revving up the hormones that’s making you want some dick like water in a desert but still. 
A girl has her needs. Especially when said girl is constantly hanging around a hot guy. 
Once you pull away from his neck after creating a total of three hickeys, you sit up. All of the kissing and petting and grinding has made you all sweaty so you quickly pull off your quarter-zip hoodie, leaving the plain t-shirt you have on underneath with no bra. 
Jeongguk’s eyes fall to the way your breasts lift and fall with the movement, jiggling into place as you throw the piece of clothing somewhere. The change in temperature has your nipples straining against the thin material and you can tell his attention has shifted. 
With a cocked brow, you smirk. “Want my shirt off?” You ask, slowly twisting the hem around a single finger. 
“Yeah.” 
His hands give your ass another appreciative squeeze. One that nearly has you dropping the control but you rebuild quickly. 
“Take this off then.” You place a hand down on the base of his stomach. Jeongguk’s shirt is thin so you can feel his stomach through the fabric. You need it off asap. 
Jeongguk’s lips part. You think he’s going to deny at first. Maybe he isn’t comfortable showing you his body yet. That’s okay; you don’t mind. Whatever he’s comfortable with, right? 
But in a split second, he grips the gray fabric and sits up slightly to peel it off of his body and gives you a view of what he has underneath. 
Which is just exquisite. 
Jeongguk treats his body like it’s a work of art. When he isn’t gaming or studying, he’s in the gym and he has one of the strictest meal plans you ever see. Allowing himself one cheat meal out of the week and then sticking to his rice, steamed veggie and lean meats for the rest of the days. And that dedication shows in the way his body looks. 
While still being thin and put together, his stomach is defined with steel-cut abs and his obliques are enviable along with sturdy shoulders, firm chest and deliciously bulky arms. 
You’ve never really cared about the body of whoever you were sleeping with. Muscles are nice and hot but they aren’t a necessity. Honestly, having a handsome/pretty face can get a guy farther than a six pack but now you might be changing your mind on that stance. Because Jeongguk has a pretty face and a six pack. 
Or is that a twelve pack? You didn’t really count. 
A single finger starts at Jeongguk’s sternum, tracing down his body to the waistband of his sweats, taking your time to appreciate every patch of skin and flesh. You inch backwards so you are sitting more on his thighs than his lap where his bulge is firmly straining against his pants. Looking all inviting. Your thighs clench together to relieve yourself from the lack of attention.
But before you can wrap your hands around him, Jeongguk’s fingers close around your wrist to stop you. 
“You said if I took my shirt off, you would too,” he reminds you. His tone is low, barely teetering into a domineering one. Brings a rush of arousal to your pussy and you immediately bite the inside of your cheek. 
Jeongguk ordering you around is… really hot. 
“Eager.” 
The plain t-shirt is rather unflattering on the outside so you do away with it quickly, feeling the mass of your breasts lift and bounce back down while adjusting to the temperature change. Your nipples are hard and goosebumps cover your upper body. 
But that’s mainly caused by the way Jeongguk’s eyes practically ravish you. 
You wonder if he’s more of an ass guy or a boob guy. Because his grip has stayed on the plump curve of your backside but his tongue swipes over his bottom lip while staring at your tits like he’s at the Louvre and he has two seconds to take a glance at the Mona Lisa. 
  There’s a sense of vulnerability to have him look at you like this. Like you’re something perfect when all everyone else, including yourself, does is point out your faults. 
It’s too much. You need to make a move, get his eyes off of you, so your hand goes back to the waistline of his pants where his boxer band flashes quickly. Calvin Klein, black in color to match the color of his sweatpants. 
“Can I?” You ask, looking down at the heavy print showing through the material and your mouth waters. 
Jeongguk nods immediately. “Please.” 
Carefully, you peel back the first layer of clothing. The tight elastic pressure around his waist is enough to slowly peel back Jeongguk’s boxers, exposing the beginning of his ilium but then he raises his hips some more until his sweatpants are pushed a little past the beginning of his quad muscles. You desperately want to see the sinew on his legs because you’ve been feeling them flex and move against you this entire time and they are just to your expectations. His skin is soft, a little tanned, thin hairs barely visible on his thighs from the hallowed light. 
“What do you want? My hand or my mouth?” 
You said a blowjob but whatever he wants, you will do. 
His eyes darken with lust. “Y-your hand, first,” Jeongguk stutters, shaking some hair off his sweaty forehead.  You try not to smile excitedly at the word first. 
“Okay.” 
After pressing one more kiss on his perfect nose, your palm cups his bulge. Against the material, you can see somewhat of a defined shape. It’s thick, impressive looking, and your wetness is soaking through your pants, effectively ruining the pair but that’s the least of your concerns. You fight the urge to grind into something, relieve some of the throbbing pressure from your core, clenching around nothing in hopes that it will fix. 
Jeongguk says your name carefully, checking to see if you’re still okay with continuing and your attention is back on him. You give him a wry smile in response and then work on slowly tugging his boxers off of his hips to free his cock. 
You gasp when his length slaps against his bare stomach, incapable of holding it in. 
 He’s big and thick; bigger and thicker than any guy you’ve ever been with. Jeongguk’s dick is pretty. Two veins trailing up the sides and pulsating with blood, the tip peeking with a small droplet of pearly white pre-cum. 
“Fuck,” you curse, reaching a hand forward to barely wrap around him. Your fingers manage to encompass the whole circumference but you can only accredit that to your long digits. Otherwise he would be too girthy. 
Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut when you pump his length once. His jawline strains sexily as little puffs of air escape his lips. He looks so good when he’s pleased. As if he was made to only look like that. The emotion sits perfectly on his pretty features. 
A bead of pearly white fluid seeps from the stop, collecting slightly over the flesh-toned head. You lick your lips. “I don’t think you’ll fit in my mouth.” 
“W-what?” He stammers. 
“You’re too big, baby,” you purr, panicking momentarily about the pet name. “Shit,” swearing under your breath when you feel him twitch. Then, you let a fat drop of spit fall from your mouth and onto the head to aid your hand gliding up and down. “My throat will definitely be sore tomorrow.” 
Not that you’re complaining. 
The boy beneath you flushes. “I–” his breathing quickening when your hand works over him expertly, barely a moan. “You–um–you don’t have to,” Jeongguk offers. 
You coo, reaching forward to boop Jeongguk’s cute little nose with your free hand, still slowly jerking his cock with the other, giving the fat length a nice squeeze at the base. “But I want to,” forcing a pout and watching his gaze turn heady with euphoria. “Don’t you want me to use my mouth? To suck you off nice and properly?” 
This is new for you. You are usually rather submissive in bed and you’ve always liked it that way. If anything, you sought after guys who were more dominant because it was an immediate turn-on for you but now that you’ve made Jeongguk all pliant and soft, you can’t stop. He just looks so perfect. His eyes clench shut, creases appearing at the sides when your hands squeeze his length teasingly on the upstroke, legs going more rigid. 
Jeongguk doesn’t respond at first so you lean down, holding yourself up with one hand splayed on the mattress, right next to his head, and increase the pace of your hand. You pay special attention to the tip and the spot right under where he’s sensitive, rubbing a thumb over the area to collect more precum on the way down his cock. Jeongguk sputters out a soft noise, gritting his teeth tightly. 
“You have to tell me what you want, Jeongguk,” you muse. The tips of your noses graze, your breasts meeting his hot skin. Jeongguk’s hands, which switched to curling into the fabric of your duvet, go to your thighs to squeeze them. At that point, you decide to only stimulate the head of his cock with the pad of your thumb, rubbing teasingly tight circles while Jeongguk leaks all over, rivulets of creamy white decorating his length.  “My hands? Or my mouth? What do you want me to do?”
Jeongguk goes crazy.  His back arches off the mattress along with a high whine emitting from his swollen lips. He looks so overwhelmed with red cheeks and his hands gripping onto your body like it’s a lifeline. 
“Y-your mouth! I want your mouth, please,” he whines once more, digging his nails into your thighs, surely leaving indents. You smile, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips before descending down his taut body. 
Jeongguk is a work of art after all and you need time to appreciate him. 
Your hands stop their tortuous movement, leaving Jeongguk’s cock to hold yourself up while inching down. You kiss down the right side of his neck. The skin is salty from sweat but you don’t mind. You kiss all the marks you left, the mole on his chest, the beginning of his abs (you pay special attention to this area), licking up a stripe to feel the ridges of his body before you end up on your knees in between his legs. 
While you were kissing him, Jeongguk kicked his sweatpants off his legs, allowing you to capture a full glimpse of his meaty thighs. His skin is flawless and soft looking and you bookmark the thought of leaving red lines atop his thighs while riding him like a fucking stallion for later. 
His length deliciously twitches again from the brief lack of touch. You eye it for a split second, mouth watering, before taking the head between your lips. He throws his head back in satisfaction. 
Jeongguk tastes good. A mix of skin, salt, but he isn’t bitter; soft, pliable skin meets the plush membrane in your mouth. You moan out while your tongue circles the head, awarding you with a fresh spurt of pre-cum. 
Giving head isn’t everyone’s favorite (totally understandable) but it’s definitely yours. You don’t know why, maybe you have an oral fixation that you don’t know about, but it always makes you wet and desperate for more. Especially when the guy you’re blowing has hot moans like Jeongguk does. 
“Fuck,” he drawls out, while your tongue moves over him. He wraps a hand around the back of your hair gently, barely pushing you down to take more of him into your mouth. 
Ideally, you’d punish Jeongguk for that. If you were continuing this dominatrix stint you have going on then he shouldn’t be pushing you and trying to choke you but you drop the whole act. 
Because he feels so good. 
Your wetness is trickling down the swell of your ass as more of your mouth stretches to accommodate his length. The back of his head is about to reach the back of your throat when you wrap a hand around to pump what you can’t reach. It’ll be impossible to take him all in one go. You need to warm up first. Fat rivulets of spit trail down to his base and collect there to ease your ministrations. 
“So good,” Jeongguk praises, tangling his fingers in your hair while the wet sucking noises filter through your apartment. “You’re s-so good at this.” 
Jeongguk’s low voice isn’t helping you. Another pathetically whiny noise is muffled by his big dick going back into your mouth, swallowing around the tip as you take a little more than before. 
Swirling your mouth, using the inside of your cheek, the side of your tongue and the puckered membrane of your lips in conjunction with your nimble hands, jacking his thick cock and feeling the skin get hotter, wetter, with every second that passes by. 
He’s probably big enough to make you squirt. Though, you are the type to squirt easily, but guys around his size tend to hit the g-spot head on, to turn you into a shaking, coming, moaning mess in their arms. The thought really gets you going, imagining yourself sinking down on him like a Queen perched on her throne and spilling all over his thighs with a loud noise. 
Would he like it? Would he want to see you do it again? 
Fuck, you need a little bit of friction here. The combination of sucking him off, Jeongguk’s breathy whiny noises, and the deranged thoughts in your brain make your pussy so needy, demanding attention. 
You think about reaching back and rubbing yourself, just for a second, but your brain is too transfixed on Jeongguk. 
“P-please don’t stop-p,” he begs, “Please–Ah, yes.” Sounding like he’s about to cry. 
Your wrist flicks up during your motions while you pay special attention to the head. Jeongguk twitches some more and judging by how hard he grips your hair, he must be close. 
So you make sure your tongue stimulates all of the areas that make Jeongguk quiver in your hold. Your back arches, suckling at the skin. 
“Can I,” he interrupts himself with a moan, hands shaking, “Can I cum in your mouth?” He asks politely. 
You pull off with a breathy sigh, moving your hand to respond. “Please.” You want to taste more of him, until he’s filling your throat up completely. 
Sinking back down, you take in as much of him as you can, deep-throating his cock to the best of your abilities. It’s wet, the noises are filthy, salacious, but you don’t really care that much. Jeongguk’s cock twitches again as he spurts into your mouth, awarding you with his release as he whines throughout. 
And like a good girl, you swallow every last drop, refusing to let even a tiny drop of it go to waste. 
Jeongguk pants. His fingers slip out of your ratty hair and his hand slap over his forehead while he collects himself. His thighs shake with the aftershocks of his orgasm, sweat collected at the enticing dip of his collarbones, making his skin look like it’s speckled with diamonds. While you sit up slowly and wipe the back of your mouth, tucking his slowly softening length back into his boxers with a soft pat. 
For a few seconds, he doesn’t say anything to you. All Jeongguk does is try to catch his breath, probably slow his heart rate a bit. 
In that short period of time, your brain speeds at 100 miles per second. Did Jeongguk like it? Did Jeongguk hate it? Will he let you do it again? Oh my god, do you want to do it again and again and again. Is he uncomfortable around you now? What next? 
Your thighs are folded under you, watching Jeongguk’s stomach tense and flex as he leans on his elbows to look at you. 
His lips are adorable pouty and the hickeys look really pretty on his skin. You want so much more from him but you’re too afraid to vocalize it. You don’t want to stop. You don’t want to wake up and force this memory out of your brain. Jeongguk is so pretty and perfect and so easy to want. 
“C’mere,” he says softly, exhaling quickly with a stupid grin. Unsure if he meant his lap or right next to him, you shuffle closer until Jeongguk pats the space next to his body and you move accordingly. Hands an knees on the bed like a slinking cat. 
The air, which was once zinging with tension, has simmered down a little. Jeongguk’s arm stretches out for you to lean your head on his bicep. Up close, his eyes sparkle more than the stars in the night sky as Jeongguk pushes all of the loose strands of hair out of your sweaty face. 
“You were really good,” he repeats. “Thank you for that.” 
It feels weird to be thanked for sucking dick so you shake your head. “No need to thank me.” And because it doesn’t hurt to be truthful, you open your mouth once more. “I really wanted to.” 
Jeongguk’s expression warms; his smile gets wider and his cheeks get rounder. His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, dancing over your features like he’s trying to commit them to memory again.
“So can I return the favor?” 
Your heart leaps to your throat. You were sure Jeongguk was under the impression that this was a simple blowie, the end. Nothing else and nothing more. Even though you wanted more, you were ready to leave this romp at that but he proves you wrong once again. 
You raise an eyebrow. “You want to?” 
Most guys don’t. Most guys give up the second they cum without even offering.
But Jeongguk fucking smirks when he noticed your shocked expression. “I really want to,” he copies you. 
Fuck, you think. You put on a nice pair of underwear thinking that this would happen and then the entire tutoring session you were gaslighting yourself into thinking that nothing would ever happen and now here you are. 
There’s no doubt in your mind that you want this. Your panties are soaked and your core is aching to be touched. You need it so bad that you might never forgive yourself for turning this down.  
“Okay.” 
“Okay?” Jeongguk repeats. 
“Touch me. Please Jeongguk,” you plead with him, placing a soft hand on his warm chest. The breath is just about to escape you when he leans in to kiss you with his supple lips. 
You almost cringe. You must taste like him and you’re sure that there’s still some moisture collected in the corner of your mouth but Jeongguk doesn’t care. He licks hotly into your mouth, taking control during the kiss which surprises you completely. 
Gone is the shy whimpering boy who begged you not to stop. Jeongguk’s fingers squeeze your hips then pull one of your legs over his thighs so that you get even closer to him and your center is more exposed. That same hand travels upwards to your tits and cups the mass, and it’s your turn to shake in his hold. 
He’s starting off perfectly, like he knows what moves drive you crazy just by looking at you. 
You sigh softly when your lips break and he begins kissing down your neck. Unlike you, Jeongguk doesn’t leave any marks. Instead, he’s strategic about creating a clean line from your mouth, smooching along your jaw, then the side of your neck, to the middle of your collarbones before meeting your boobs. Jeongguk hauls you up the bed a little so he’s facing your chest instead, bringing your body closer with a splayed hand on your back. 
“Jeongguk,” you try, unsure as to why you’re calling him out. Jeongguk pays you no attention, transfixed by your naked breasts. He expels something inaudible under his breath and then takes one of your nipples into his mouth while tweaking the other, causing your body to go rigid. 
His lips wrap around the bud, sucking and circling his tongue over it while his other hand tweaks and pulls at the other. Like his tongue, his finger moves in time to turn you into a pile of mush. You grind onto nothing, wishing it was his thigh instead because you need friction from how wet and needy you’ve become in the span of like 20 minutes. 
Moaning out at the feeling of him slowly stimulating you, Jeongguk switches to the other one until your nipples are left shiny, wet, and puffy from his lips and tongue. 
He picks up fast, it seems. While kissing down your stomach, he asks you, “What do you want me to do?” Just like you did. 
“Anything,” you respond. You don’t care what he does, you just want him to do something. 
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Gotta give me a real answer,” he pulls up a little closer to your face, cupping your swollen bottom lip thanks to all of his work. “Tell me.”
“I,” you start. In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind anything from him. But you feel the length of his fingers, thick and perfect, and you remember your pressing desire of having them inside of you. “I want your fingers,” deciding on that. 
He grins softly at how cute you become when you’re overwhelmed. Jeongguk doesn’t wait around any longer, fingers going to the waistline of your yoga pants and tugging them down slowly. They’re tight, sticking to you like a second skin, so they snag along the meat of your thighs. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind as the fabric bunches up into a little ring and you kick it off to a random spot on your floor. 
Cold air meets your soaked underwear, making you cringe at the feeling, totally unaware of the way Jeongguk gapes at the flimsy little thing hugging your hips. He gently traces the band over your pelvis, almost like he’s hesitation. 
You open your mouth, ready to check in to see if Jeongguk still wants to do this for you or not, but before you can, his fingers dip into your panties to feel just how wet you are from him. 
His expression morphs beautifully. “You’re…” he’s speechless at first. Jeongguk’s finger trails up and down your center, barely grazing your sensitive clit. 
A whimper escapes you. His touch is feather light and barely enough yet so much all at once. 
“Fuck,” he groans, hiding his face into crook of your neck, soaking up all of your arousal while his ears and neck get bright red. You’d be embarrassed by the rushing gush coating you even more if Jeongguk’s thumb hadn’t stopped at your clit to draw tight, short, slow circles. 
Such a gentle pace, way less intense than the bullet vibrator you’ve been using, and the pressure builds gradually. One of your hands wind in his hair and the other grips his bicep, openly feeling him up. 
“Fucking soaked,” Jeongguk grits, moving his thumb a little faster. 
Your eyes shut. “Oh J–” interrupted by a shaky noise spilling from your mouth. Jeongguk takes that as a good sign, deciding to torture you even further by moving his lips back to your stiffened nipples and using his tongue to suck and lick at them as if you aren’t already sensitive. 
“You’re pretty too, noona,” Jeongguk says, looking at you this time. Slowly, your eyes peel open to find his big brown irises glimmering at you. “I think you’re beautiful. Always have.” 
You blush immediately. You don’t know why this feels so intensely intimate, like a pan that’s gotten too hot. Is it Jeongguk’s tone, the fact that he’s so close, the way he looks at you to make sure you know and understand him? What is it that has you so stupefied by such a simple comment? 
Boys have called you pretty before, called you much worse too, but you should be used to it. Over the years you’ve started to develop a thick skin but this one gets to you. 
That flutter of butterflies comes back, dancing from the tip of your toes all the way to your head. Jeongguk has seen you grow, from a kid to a pre-teen and now an adult. 
And he still finds you beautiful. Even after every embarrassing phase. 
You begin to smile, cupping his cheeks and leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips, then the corner of his lips, his cheek and his nose, because he deserves it and he’s cute. 
“Thanks,” you mean it, even if the sweet moment cut all of the flourishing beginnings of an orgasm from you and Jeongguk’s fingers halted, out of your underwear and holding your hip instead. 
Jeongguk mirrors your expression. Then he looks down at where his hand is and back up at you, nervously tonguing his cheek. “Can I move now?” 
You nod your head yes quickly after he asks. 
“And…” Jeongguk still looks awkward. You go back to cupping his soft cheeks. “Tell me if I’m doing okay?”
You want to melt in his grip. “Of course, Guk.” Thumb swiping over his cheekbone affectionately. 
Jeongguk takes that as the greenlight and slips his fingers back into your underwear. His gaze is on you, studying your features when his thumb goes back to your clit while his middle finger teases around your opening. You clench, desperate for something to slip inside of you, lifting your hips up in hope that Jeongguk would take the hint and put his fingers inside but he continues collecting your arousal to get his digits wet enough. 
“Jeongguk,” you call tightly, digging your nails into the meat of his shoulders. He hums in response. “I need more.” 
His thumb decides to go faster at your demand but not fast enough and his middle finger still traces your opening instead of slipping inside. 
“More?” He repeats, lilting his voice teasingly. 
Shithead. 
“Yes, more.”  You want to whine, kick your legs even. 
He can feel how wet you’ve gotten, does he not know how much you want this? 
“You want my fingers?” 
“Yes,” you grumble but it sweetens at the end because his thumb starts moving faster over your clit and you feel the waves of pleasure swirling in your stomach, turning into a half-moan. 
Jeongguk angles his hand a little differently and, gently, pushes his middle finger inside you. He groans at the feeling of you. “So tight,” breathing out against your skin. 
You react immediately, throwing your head back. There’s a slight pinch but it's not even the slightest bit painful. The intrusion is welcomed; although small, you need it. Jeongguk’s finger is nice and long and he pistons it out of you with so much care while hitting just the spot. 
“Fuck, right there,” you moan out, turning your face into the soft material of your sheets, eyes rolling back.
Jeongguk slips another finger in and he stops teasing your throbbing bundle of nerves to focus fully on moving his digits, curving them upwards to your walls as you release a symphony of noises. Finding that soft spongy part inside of you and massaging it. 
“F-faster please, please, go faster,” begging him out of the fear that he’ll tease you just like he was doing before. 
But Jeongguk plays fair and fingers you even faster, upping the ante even more by removing his free hand and pressing down on your lower stomach, right before your pelvis. 
And you lose it. 
The pressure from his hand on top, plus the way his fingers are moving, just becomes too much. The  gradual pressure starts accelerating and accelerating until it drops like a rollercoaster and you feel a burst of tingling pleasure rush through your veins and all over your body. 
“I’m cumming!” Crying out, tears pooling inside your eyes streaming down your cheeks as your legs shake with the crashing waves of your orgasm. 
Different than when you do it. As good as your vibrator is, something about it has yet to make you orgasm like this. Heavy, powerful, almost numbing. Waves crash inside you, again and again, cresting at the peak and slowly simmering out into a soft current and then nothing at all. 
Your breath comes out in heavy pants, limbs feeling like jelly, slowly opening your eyes to find Jeongguk staring back at you in bewilderment. His lips are parted but his cheeks aren’t red with embarrassment. If anything, he looks like the complete opposite of that. 
Like he could watch you do that again and again. Something you would gladly agree with. 
Jeongguk takes his fingers out from your underwear, glistening with your arousal, and before you can offer him a napkin, he slips his digits into his mouth and cleans them off. You really begin to question if this man is a virgin or secretly a sex god waiting to be discovered. He’s way better than you were when you were inexperienced. Does he watch a lot of porn?
Or do Taehyung and Jimin just talk about sex around him too much? Must be that. 
“Mmh,” his fingers come out with a soft pop noise, “You taste amazing.” Jeongguk’s clean hand brushes some hair out of your face as he smiles. You lean into his touch like a purring kitten, curling into his chest because your entire body feels weak. 
“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, closing his arms around you. 
Nodding into his chest, “Yeah. Felt really good.” You want to say more but there’s no energy for you to do so. 
“Did it? You looked really hot when,” trailing off, you know what he means, and you press a kiss to his chest. “Kinda want to see it again.” 
That takes your attention. 
Removing the fact that you haven’t been touched in a bit, two orgasms from Jeongguk might put your legs out of commission and that was just with his fingers. You can’t imagine what it would be like with more of him, especially as he learns more about how to pleasure you and gets better. Your poor vibrator might be out of a job. 
“I would love to, but you definitely wore me out.” Pulling your face away, you look up at his perfectly crafted face. “Can we try that another time?” 
Another time, you get giddy even before he agrees. After getting addicted to Jeongguk’s touch, you don’t want to entertain the idea of this being a one time thing. 
“Of course.” And neither does he. 
Jeongguk kisses the top of your head gently, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You tangle your legs with his, inhaling his scent and doing your best not to fall asleep. 
It feels sticky and wet between your legs. You should change and you should get ready for bed. Jeongguk probably wants to go back to his house, right? He probably doesn’t want to stick around your place after what just happened. 
But you think about it and that’s the farthest thing you want. 
Being in his arms, you feel safe and protected, like you drifted off to another dimension where nothing bad has ever happened and you were still the girl you were when you left Busan. Happy and lively. 
You don’t want him to leave you. You don’t want this to be another shitty hookup or one-time thing that makes both of you blush and walk-away. You just want Jeongguk to be in your life. 
So you hold on tight, avoiding his eyes when you ask: “Do you want to stay here with me tonight?”
Please, please, you beg internally. You’ll make breakfast, there’s a pack of toothbrushes under your sink, anything. Just stay. 
And thankfully, Jeongguk responds without wasting another second of your time, putting you at ease once again.  
“Please.”
a/n: okay yes, that was a lot but more smut will come and more angst will follow!
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babiesdreams · 1 year
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Advent Calendar:
Day 4: Jaemin and Taeyong +18
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Warnings: sexual content, teasing, chocking, overstimulation, daddy kink, domination, anal, threesome
“Jaemin, slow down, you need to feel everything better” He says brushing the boy’s back with his fingertips. “Make sure you remember every moment afterwards. Study her expression, the sounds she makes. Study every inch of her body just like if you had an anatomy test” His words not only make Jaemin go slower and calm down, but they also have an effect on you. You just know how every word he’s saying are the words he says to himself everytime you fuck, and it just feels like something so hot to think about.
"I'm just. She's too hot" The boy grunts and you smile at him. "Do you wanna stop?" You ask him nicely but he shakes his head. "You just need to chill. Threesomes are hard" Taeyong says calmly as he winks at you. "I know it's just too much on my head I guess" Jaemin replies and you can sense the flustration on his voice.
"What are you thinking about?" You ask curiously. He blushes and completely stops his movements to look right into your eyes. "I'm kinda freaky" He says and you can't help but laugh at his comment. "Well tell me what you like" You say cutely.
He blushes before replying. "I like choking and rough sex" He says and you smile "Do it then" The boy smirks and positions his hand on your neck. "Remember to breathe slowly" Taeyong says, though you feel it's more an advice for himself than to Jaemin.
"Come here daddy" You say to him and the boy just kisses you passionetly. Your head rests on his shoulder while Jaemin keeps a slow pace on you.
Taeyong's kiss feels even softer now that you can compare it to jaemin's. You kinda feel your orgasm growing inside of you and you close your eyes in a failed attempt to hide it.
"Let's switch" taeyong says to jaemin and he immediately stops, replacing your pleasure with pain. Taeyong lays behind you while he signs you to turn around. Jaemin only gets his hands out of your neck when you're turning on your back.
Now his fingers are applying pressure against your trachea. You know what's coming so you try your best to hide your excitement.
Jaemin's right hand leaves your neck to enter your ass. It feels so tight yet it streches really fast as his fingers keep moving. Taeyong's length enters your pussy inmediately and you feel the heat spreading through your body.
Jaemin rushes two more finger inside of you and your eyes roll all the way back from pleasure. There's a second where his fingers leave a feeling of emptyness behind but it's fastly replaced with the width of his dick.
"Fuck it's so tight" He growls and you feel the pressure against your neck increase as his hand pushes your neck closer to him. "You're not allowed to cum yet. None of you" Taeyong says. A long sigh leaves Jaemin's lips in an attempt to control his feelings.
Taeyong starts speeding up and the feeling of his dick beating as the blood travels through it drives you completely insane. "Taeyong please" You cry out. He stops suddenly. "Daddy please" you correct yourself. It still sounds weird for you to say it.
His thrusts turn wild, to a point where Jaemin's unable to move. He cums inside painting your walls completely.
"Fuck her senseless" He simply orders and Jaemin obeys. Tears start forming in your eyes. The boy's hands on your neck make it hard for you to breathe properly, which has you even more desperate for your climax.
"Daddy" you cry out looking at taeyong's eyes. "No" he replies making you both sigh. "We need it" you beg one more time. "I don't care" he replies caressing your face with his fingers. "You look so beautiful like this, I want this moment to last forever" his words make you blush. At this point it's almost impossible for you to hold it in any longer.
Your legs start shaking and you can just sense taeyong's look of disapproval. Your moans get silenced by taeyong's mouth. "Bad girl" he whispers. "You need some punishment for this"
Jaemin sighs, stopping his movements completely. "I didn't say you could stop, did I?" Taeyong's eyes are full of anger. Jaemin keeps thrusting you and you can sense his on edge too.
"If you wanna cum you have to ask first" he lectures you while grabbing you by your neck. "I know I'm sorry daddy"
"Now you should feel a second wave of pleasure brushing your body. You know what to do"
You take a deep breath and swallow your pride as you say "I need to cum please daddy let me cum" he chuckles. His fingers apply pressure on your cheeks. "Cum for daddy" he whispers.
Both you and jaemin start shaking as pleasure invades your bodies. It's been a while since it felt that good so, you're partially grateful of taeyong's continuous tease.
"fuck" jaemin finally says. A smile appears on taeyong's face "you're welcome".
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universitypenguin · 10 months
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Chapter XIV
Summary: Lloyd sets his sights on orchestrating Holbrook’s downfall and uses skills from his former life to serve up his own brand of justice. Meanwhile, Princess interviews a witness who casts doubt on key information in the case. 
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Word Count: 7,352
Warnings: Explicit discussion of murder and serial abductions. Mention of extortion, police corruption, drugs, and kidnapping. Spy/intelligence agency themes, general violence depiction of criminal behavior. Minor foul language. Only appropriate for 18+ readers. No minors. 
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Chapter XIV
Lloyd scowled at the muddy road as he navigated around the section that had been washed out by last night’s thunderstorm. The damage to the ranch’s main road aggravated his simmering frustration. He would need to order a truckload of gravel first thing on Monday. 
He’d left the house at dawn and spent the day running around like a chicken with its head cut off, searching for Elliot. As light faded into the western sky, he had nothing to show for the effort. Every potential hiding spot he’d searched turned up empty. He’d spent the morning checking abandoned hunting cabins and old flop houses he remembered druggies frequenting. After lunch he expanded his search radius to the forest service cabins up in the Sawtooth mountains, then hunting blinds, and remote campgrounds. 
In the evening, he’d driven out to Redfish Lake, apprehension growing with each mile, and searched the boat shed. It was empty. The only residents he’d found were of the eight legged variety. After closing up the shed, he’d surveyed the lake’s perimeter, visiting the remote places with heavy foliage that could disguise the activity associated with disposing of a body. None of them appeared disturbed. Overall, the day had been a waste. 
The weight of failure settled over him as his eyes lit on an unfamiliar sight ahead. 
A strange pickup truck was parked in front of the ranch house. Lloyd’s gut tightened. He jerked the wheel and pulled off into the cover of a grove of trees. Holbrook wouldn’t drive the beat up ‘97 Ford parked in the yard if his life depended on it, but it would be just like him to send someone else to do his dirty work. Concealing his vehicle in the trees, Lloyd reached behind the seat for the PTR-91 rifle he’d stashed there and slung it over his shoulder. He secured it to his back and checked his ankle holster for Joe’s Sig Sauer. In the shoulder holster he wore a Glock17 - his weapon of choice in his previous life. 
The weight rested comfortably in his palm as he snuck through the trees and across the lawn. He kept his finger wrapped around the trigger guard, and the weapon hidden behind his thigh, as he climbed the steps to the porch. Every creak of the wood under his boots felt magnified as he approached the door. He scanned the shadows along the edge of the porch, searching for signs of movement. The front door was unlocked, and the knob turned easily. 
The scent of fresh coffee surprised him. Lloyd stepped inside, gun raised and took measured steps as he swept the living room. His guest hadn’t turned the lights on. He glanced around, seeking signs of the intruder, and spun to the kitchen. The brightness from the picture window stung his eyes, blurring his vision for a moment. When they refocused, his heart skipped a beat. 
Elliot Hansen sat at the kitchen table. He was slouched over a mug of coffee, which if the dark rings under his eyes were anything to go by, he desperately needed. 
“Lloyd. I’ve been waiting for you.” 
The tension drained away. He lowered the gun and studied his cousin for a moment before turning back to shut the front door. Lloyd laid the Glock on the table and sat down across from Elliot. A dozen questions filled his mind, but he hesitated to ask them. Elliot didn’t fill the silence. He just took a long drink from his coffee, looking ready to fall asleep at any moment. 
“Elliot?” Lloyd found his voice unexpectedly soft as relief shifted to concern. “What happened? Why did you come here?” 
“I need your help.” 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
You picked your way through the crowd of shoppers, scanning ahead. The entrance to Zach’s office was between a hand-rolled ice cream shop and a Kate Spade store. If you weren’t paying attention, the discreetly placed entry was easy to miss. It was painted the same color as the wall and served as access to the outlet mall’s second floor, which had been converted to office space during the Great Recession. You found the door and unlocked it with the code he’d sent. 
The curving marble stairs led to a wide corridor brightened by tasteful chandeliers and intermittent skylights that invited in the natural light. In sharp contrast to the busy mall, this level was quiet. At the end of the hall you reached his office, pressed the button, and waited for the chime that announced the door had been unlocked. 
Zach was in his office with his feet propped up on his desk. The soles of his moc-toe Carhartt boots were so worn that you could hardly make out the original tread pattern. The deep worry lines in his forehead and the dark circles under his eyes immediately caught your attention. Before you could ask, his expression shifted into a smirk. 
“Morning, Princess. What brings you in so early on this lovely Saturday?” 
“Ha ha. You called me.” 
“And was shocked when you picked up the phone. I was going to leave a voicemail.” 
“I got up early to meal prep, then remembered Lloyd’s fridge is fully stocked.”
Zach made a face. “Be careful in there, he eats weird stuff.” 
“I can’t take that warning seriously from a man who ate fried rattlesnake and liked it.” 
“A man has to draw the line somewhere and I draw mine at blood pudding.” 
“Do I want to know?”
“If it looks like sausage and it’s in his fridge, don’t touch it.” 
“I’ll take your word for it. Now, why am I here?”
“With Lloyd in Idaho, we don’t have a Mandarin translator, so I called in a favor from an ex-teammate. Roth has cleared him to work on the case.” 
“What are we doing that requires a translator?” 
“An interview. I got in touch with the archivist in Julia’s home town. He asked to meet after work, so you have an hour to prepare.” 
You took the overflowing file he extended. 
“When did you put all this together?”
“Yesterday and last night.” 
“Have you slept?”
“No, which is why you’re doing the interview. I’m heading home to crash once your translator gets here. He’s apparently running late.”
“It’s Saturday, no one’s late on Saturday,” you said. 
“I like the way you think.” 
A deep voice behind you made you jump. You dropped the file and whirled, catching your heel on the threshold, and falling with an undignified squeak. A pair of strong arms stopped you from hitting the ground and pulled you upright. Gasping, you braced a hand on your rescuer’s shoulder and turned ninety degrees to look at him. He had dark brown hair and a short, trim beard that emphasized his high cheekbones. His eyes, an unusual blend of blue and green, were crinkled with amusement. A full, expressive mouth was drawn into a crooked half smile at your expense. 
“Sorry, darlin’, I didn’t mean to scare you.” 
The newcomers’ accent was crisper than Zach’s drawl, but not as familiar. 
You noticed he dropped the ‘r’ in darling, turning it into ‘dah-ling.’ Immediately, your mind went to New England, but the way he rolled his vowels was distinctly Southern. The vestiges of a southern accent, perhaps? 
“I’m fine. I didn’t realize you were behind me.”
“How’d you get in?” Zach asked, his voice edged with annoyance. 
“I slipped in behind her.” 
You raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“To see if I could.” 
He flashed a Cheshire Cat grin, full of mischief. Your disapproval melted at his boyish enjoyment. Wasn’t it better to find a weakness now, than when it really counted?
“I’m having Jake update the alarm system first thing when he’s back. Y/N, this is Marco Lattimer. He and I served together on the teams. Besides being a first class troublemaker, he’s fluent in five languages.”
Marco smirked. “Fluent in five, but I speak seven.” 
“Wow. That’s… impressive.” 
“Thank you.” 
“Marco will be your translator. I’ve already briefed him on the case.” 
Zach turned to Marco, eyes sharpening. “Lattimer, don’t even think about flirting with my colleague.”
“What if she doesn’t mind?” Marco said, winking at you. 
“She’s Lloyd’s research assistant and you’ll have to deal with him regarding the ‘what if’ part, but I’d advise against finding out. Princess, you’ve still got that taser I gave you? Marco’s harmless, but if he gets on your nerves, you have my permission to zap him.” 
You grinned at Marco’s disgruntled expression. 
“I’m sure we’ll get along fabulously,” you said. “Go home Zach, I can handle this.” 
Ten minutes later you were in the conference room with Marco, waiting for the Zoom call to start. 
“So, how’d you end up working with Lloyd?” Marco asked. 
“I interned at his law firm. He stole me from the paralegal department for my research skills.” 
“Sorry to hear that. It must be miserable to be around him all the time. I swear, he’s the reason lawyers get a bad rap. He could teach classes on how to be insufferable.” 
This was a sentiment you’d heard many times before. 
“Lloyd and I get on fine.” 
“Do you have the patience of a saint, an addiction to benzos, or just do a lot of meditation?” 
“It depends on the day. Most of the time meditation works, but a stash of benzos is always a good back up plan.” 
By the time the computer lit up with the incoming call, you and Marco were on friendly terms. He was charming, funny, and definitely flirting with you. The flirting didn’t concern you because you sensed his pursuit was less about genuine interest and more about target practice. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and folded his arms in a way that showcased his biceps. You would’ve thought it was deliberate but his posture was too nonchalant to be premeditated. 
You relied on Marco to make sure Mr. Liu was comfortable and let him engage Liu in small talk for a few minutes. Working with a translator always provided a great excuse to sit back and observe your subject’s mannerisms before starting the interview. Mr. Liu appeared to be in his sixties, with horn-rimmed glasses and neatly combed hair. He wore casual office attire and judging by the fit of his light blue button down, he starched his shirts. He fit the role of village archivist like he’d been sent straight from central casting. After he was settled, you turned the discussion toward pressing matters. 
“Did you have any personal connection to Julia or her family?”
Mr. Liu spoke and Marco translated. 
“Yes, I knew her family. Her parents were lovely people. Unfortunately, they passed away some years ago.” 
“I'm sorry to hear that. Are you familiar with the circumstances of Julia's death?” 
“Yes, we were all horrified by the tragedy. It was a shocking incident that saddened the entire community. The pain it caused her family was immeasurable.” 
“The investigation into Julia's death has been reopened based on fresh evidence. DNA tests have revealed a connection between her and another woman who was murdered in a similar manner. They’re believed to be full siblings. Does Julia have an older sister?” 
Mr. Lui’s brow furrowed, and he paused for a long moment. 
“That's impossible. Julia's parents were not together for long before she was born. Her father had left the island to serve in the army and spent three years stationed in Vietnam prior to her birth. There is no chance of an older sibling.” 
His certainty piqued your attention. 
“So, her father was away during that time. Do you have any records that could shed light on Julia's family or explain the existence of an older sibling?”
The archivist’s voice was firm as he responded. Even without Marco’s translation you would’ve understood the statement as a denial. 
“I assure you, there was no other child. Julia's parents were committed to each other and their daughter. The entire village would have known if there was another pregnancy or a sibling. It's simply not possible.” 
You leaned closer, eager to see his reaction to your next words. 
“Mr. Liu, we have evidence suggesting otherwise. We need to uncover the truth about Julia's past, no matter how unsettling it might be. Can you think of any reason they kept this information hidden?”
His head lowered, shoulders rising in symmetry as he frowned. 
Liu stumbled over his words as he answered. Translating like you’d asked him to, Marco repeated his statement verbatim. 
“I… I can't imagine why or… how such information would have been concealed. Our village is tight-knit, and secrets are rare. Not rare to be kept, but rare not to be noticed and revealed. If there's something hidden, it must have been for a grave reason and Julia’s parents weren’t that sort of people.” 
“Thank you for speaking with us, Mr. Liu. We appreciate your time. If anything further comes to mind, please contact us, or the Virginia State Police, directly.” 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Lloyd sat down across from Elliot. He didn’t totally disarm himself but rested the rifle on his thighs under the table. 
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Joe had a stash of drugs. A big one, according to Holbrook. He thinks I know where it is.” 
“Why?”
Elliot rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been taking care of the ranch. Joe paid me for it. He could have hired a cowboy, but you know Joe. He didn’t trust people he didn’t know. The work brought me up here at least a couple times each week for the past three years. What conclusion do you think Holbrook drew from that pattern?” 
“And? Was he right?” 
“No! Damn it, Lloyd! It took me years to get clean, I wasn’t moving his drugs!” 
Lloyd knew, given Elliot’s history, Joe wouldn’t have trusted him around the product. All the same, he had to ask, because one good look at his cousin tipped off Lloyd’s intuition that Elliot wasn’t as clean as he claimed to be. 
“I don’t know about a stash of drugs. Joe never told me anything about his business and I didn’t ask. We barely talked, except for emails and text messages about the ranch. He always paid me on time and I appreciated the side income. That was it. But the Sheriff won’t let this thing go.”
Twenty kilos of coke, thirty of heroin, either would be worth more than a million on the street and small enough to hide in a carry-on case. 
Lloyd sighed. “Holbrook has to go.” 
“He’s untouchable.”
“If I learned anything in the past twenty years, it’s that no one is untouchable.” 
“This isn’t London, or Berlin, or some fancy place you’ve been. It’s southeastern Idaho and Holbrook is the King.” 
Lloyd grunted. “To be clear, you’re sure this stash actually exists? It wasn’t sold off years ago?” 
“I can’t be sure, but Joe always preferred to have a backup plan.” 
That rang true. A stash of drugs would’ve served as insurance against stock market fluctuations, housing crises, or whatever rattled the economy next year. 
“Alright. Tell me about Holbrook. What’s his weak point?” 
Elliot stared. “You’re serious?”
“Deadly. Who has a grudge against him? Are there any deputies on his payroll?”
“Aside from me, I don’t know of any grudges, but his department has a suspiciously high turnover rate.” 
“Ex-associates? A disgruntled secretary? Jilted lover?” 
“Uh… would a former drug dealer count?” Elliot asked.
“Does this drug dealer have a name?” 
“Carl Shepherd. The Sheriff gave him carte blanche to deal locally, then the feds came sniffing around. Holbrook cut him loose and they’re not on good terms, but Shepherd says he has Holbrook in his pocket.” 
If the dealer had two brain cells to rub together, he’d have exhorted Holbrook for protection. Lloyd begrudgingly approved of the plan. 
“But he’s too scared of the Sheriff to flip on him.” 
“Why bite the hand that feeds you?” Lloyd murmured. 
His mind moved quickly, considering the various options available. Elliot grimaced. 
“I’m never going to get out of this mess.” 
“How do you feel about pulling a kidnapping? Say, tonight?”
“Uh… given how that worked out for you last time… lukewarm.”
“Oh, come on. I’ve turned over a new leaf. Carl Shepherd doesn’t have any ex-spooks overly invested in his well-being, though, right?”
“Not that I know of,” Elliot said.
“Great, then let’s get this show on the road.” 
After some persuasion, Elliot agreed to the plan. He was nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs as he drove them into town in his rattle trap pickup. In contrast, Lloyd was bubbling with excitement, a feeling that intensified as they navigated the narrow lanes of the Oxiana Trailer Park. It was akin to the anticipation before a rollercoaster dropped into free fall - an exhilaration he’d missed from his old life but only realized now. Elliot parked in a shadowy spot about a hundred yards from Shepherd’s house. 
He pointed to a gray trailer with peeling paint. “That’s his place. He drives a ‘68 Camaro.” 
“Nice car.” 
“Uh-huh. What’s your plan, again? You weren’t exactly clear about the how.” 
“We’ll see how it plays out. Kidnappings never quite go according to plan.” 
“You’d know.” 
Lloyd snorted. “Shut up. I’ve seen your rap sheet, you’ve got no room to talk.” 
“I was high for that stuff.”
“Yeah? Same.”
Elliot turned, resting an elbow on the steering wheel as he studied Lloyd. “Are you kidding? You were the quarterback, the golden boy. You never touched that shit.” 
“I took Adderall to cope with test anxiety and smoked weed.”
“That’s your drug of choice? Adderall? Dude, that’s pathetic.”
“It started with light stuff. Weed, then Adderall. Senior year I started popping Xanax to cope with anxiety. At first it was just when I was struggling, then it became a daily habit.” 
Elliot considered him. “I knew you were into weed, but not the rest.”
“Things didn’t get serious until I was at Harvard. I got hooked on pain pills after a football injury and when the team doctor wouldn’t give me more Vicodin, I bought Percocet on the street. From there I got into Ketamine, Valium, and Prozac. The market for drugs was thriving on campus, so I bought extras and re-sold it to the partiers. It didn’t take long before I was taking my own product.” 
“Joe would’ve skinned you alive.” 
“Beaten me to death is more likely.”
“What’d you get hooked on the most? Percocet?”
“Cocaine. I had a taste for Ecstasy, too. My main addiction was Coke, with a little Xanax in the mix. When I graduated and had the money for it, I got back on Vicodin.”
“Damn. You know what really shocks me?” Elliot asked.
“What?”
“You went for the cheap stuff. Coke? Back in the day, I could get a bag of Coke for like sixty, seventy bucks. Meth was like six times that much.” 
Lloyd chuckled. “I’d seen what meth and heroin did to a person. Cocaine felt less risky and more… fun. Until I was in prison, I didn’t think I was addicted.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I kept a lot of secrets before. Now I try not to. Also, if you think I don’t get what it’s like to have your past catch up with you, I want you to know that I do.” 
Elliot ducked his head, looking away. 
Lloyd turned back to the road. They sat in silence for the next twenty minutes while the sun dipped behind the horizon. A car pulled around the corner with no headlights on and Lloyd squinted, trying to make out the model. 
“Is that him?”
Elliot straightened up. “Yeah. That’s him.” 
They watched as Carl turned into the driveway and parked, then walked around to the trunk to unload grocery bags.
“What now?” Elliot asked.
“Wait here for thirty seconds, then go up to him. Get his attention. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Elliot nodded and wiped his palms on his jeans. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. Lloyd slid out of the truck and shut the door quietly. Keeping one eye on Carl as he took in the first load of groceries, he snuck through the neighbor’s lawn and around their house. Maneuvering through a hole in the chain-link fence he crossed into Carl’s backyard and used the cover of the peeling gray trailer to mask his approach. He listened to footfalls on wooden steps, then pavement, and gauged the distance. A truck door slammed and a moment later, Elliot’s voice rang out, calling a greeting to the drug dealer.
Lloyd burst from his hiding place and ran, aiming at Carl’s back. Electricity crackled as the taser found its mark. The volts sizzled in the air as Carl convulsed, then dropped to the pavement, unconscious. 
Elliot jerked back, his face leaching of color.
“Holy shit! What voltage is that thing?!” 
Lloyd smirked. “What’s wrong? Can’t handle a little excitement? Help me get him in the trunk.” 
“You don’t mean…”
“Leaving his car here will arouse suspicion. If we take it, the neighbors will assume he’s out of town.” 
“Maybe we should stop adding to our rap sheets while we’re still ahead,” Elliot suggested.
“I usually agree with the principle of only committing one felony at a time, but we’re on the clock here. Grab his feet, would you?”
Elliot groaned, but obliged, taking Carl’s feet while Lloyd guided his upper body into the trunk. He slammed it shut and grinned at his cousin’s pale face.
“There. Felony number six, complete. Although technically, in this state kidnapping isn’t a felony until you’re a hundred feet away from the property on which the abduction occurred. So, to be precise, we’re still in the act of felony number six.” 
“You’re insane.”
Lloyd smirked. “Not according to my doctor. And given the circumstances, I think this was the most appropriate course of action we could’ve taken. Now, go on ahead of me and make sure everything is set up. I can’t speed with a body in the trunk.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
You sat next to Marco, looking at the murder board.
Zach had set it up in the corner of the conference room and after the interview you’d migrated over here naturally. Your chairs were adjacent, facing the bulletin board like students in a classroom. Marco had ordered coffee and a late brunch for the both of you while you explained the details of the case. 
“And they found the sister’s corpse right next to the first victim?” Marco said. 
“Yeah. It’s mind-boggling.”
He shook his head. “What’s weirder is that these two are sisters, but the rest of the girls on this board are as different as night and day. Different hair colors, ethnic backgrounds, different kinds of jobs.” 
You turned your attention to the victim’s pictures. They were organized by date of disappearance and below them was a horizontal timeline that stretched from left to right across the width of the board. There was a topographical map of the Fairfax area in the lower right corner, with colored pins making locations. 
“There’s a variety in the women, but what’s mostly consistent is the age range, the manner of disappearance, and their social status.”
Marco leaned back, hooking his left ankle over his right knee. 
“How do you investigate a case with so many missing variables?”
“You’re referring to the other six corpses?”
“The lack of them, specifically.” 
His comment tickled a thread you’d been playing with since Singapore. Rather than answering, you stood up and crossed to the bulletin board. First, you untacked the sketch on the far left of the timeline. It was of the unknown victim - Julia’s supposed sister - and then took down the photo underneath her, representing her daughter. Then from the far right of the timeline, you untacked Julia’s photo. 
You sat down next to Marco and faced the board again.
“What about now? Does that make more sense?” 
His mouth tilted in a half smile. “I’m not the investigator here. How would I know?”
“Technically, Lloyd and Zach are the investigators and I’m their errand girl. You’re a fresh set of eyes. I’ve been trying to figure out how removing the sisters and the little girl changes things.” 
“Do you see a pattern here?” Marco said. 
“Maybe. If Lloyd were here, I’d bounce this off of him, but look…” 
You laid the photos you’d removed on the table and returned to the board, pointing to the photo of the first woman to go missing.
“The first victim, Stacey Moore was twenty-six. She worked at an indie publishing house in D.C. and had just graduated from G.W with her master’s. She disappeared in June of 1999.” 
You pointed to the next photo. 
“Maya Sutton. Twenty-four. Tax associate at PriceWaterhouseCoopers, recently hired off an internship program, master’s degree in accounting from William & Mary. Disappeared in August of 1999.” 
Marco listened as you ran down the list of victims, and reported their ages, jobs, and degrees. He was nodding along by the time you reached the last photo.
“The women were close in age. Twenty-three to twenty-seven, born and raised in the U.S. and focused on their careers. They were successful despite being young, and except for Lucy Lund, they all came from upper middle class backgrounds.”
“They’re all born in eastern Virginia, too,” Marco said.
You checked the notes and sure enough, all the victims had been born along the Virginia coast. The pattern was even closer than you’d realized. 
“Good catch.” 
You rehung the photos of Julia, her sister, and the niece, off to the side, separate from the serial killer victims. 
“They found these victims. That doesn’t feel like an accident. If he made six women disappear without a trace, why leave three corpses in the same spot? And Julia’s body wasn’t even properly disposed of.”
“That deviates significantly from the pattern,” Marco said. 
“And with the timeline laid out like this, it looks like Julia’s abduction occurs too early in the year. He’d abducted someone during the last week of May before, but Julia disappeared in April, which is a month before he usually began taking victims. There’s also a stopping period between the 1999 victims and the 2000 cases. In 1999 the last victim disappeared on September 3rd. In 2000 the last victim was August 15th.” 
“Seasonal employees might be a good suspect pool to explore.”
“Removing the discovered bodies gives us a pattern. But when you add these three cases, it muddies the waters. I think we’re looking at two different crimes. A serial killer and… this mess with Julia, whatever it is.” 
Marco crossed his arms, studying the altered layout of the board.
“You’re right. Julia really doesn’t fit his victim type.”
“She was too tall, not from the United States - and not from Virginia. She didn’t have a college degree, let alone a graduate degree, and didn’t work outside the home. The serial killer’s victims were ambitious, professional women. They were all under five foot five and didn’t weigh more than a hundred and sixty pounds, but none of them were exceptionally thin. The abductor seemed to pursue women of average build.”
“Julia was five-nine and weighed about one-thirty,” Marco said. 
“Going off victim type, that made her not only too tall, but too thin.” 
“What’s hard to understand is that he’d suddenly screw up a body dump after getting it right so many times. For his first victim, sure. He’s inexperienced. But doing it again with Julia, several years later… the only way it makes sense is if he put the sisters together.” 
Goosebumps raised on your arms. If he put the sisters together…
What if the sisters’ deaths were connected? Maybe even to the serial killer, but not as victims who he’d hunted. Had they gotten in the way? Or was there something else, completely unrelated to the disappearances, going on at the same time? Was that possible in a town as small as Harmony?
“What are you thinking?” Marco asked.
“I think it’s two different cases. Everyone was waiting for the pattern from ‘99 and 2000 to re-emerge. They were mentally preparing for the next victim and Julia was the next woman to disappear. In a small town riddled with disappearing women, why wouldn’t they think she was part of the spree?”
“That’s logical, but the way you’ve explained it makes better sense. What about the sister and the niece? They’re an even bigger deviation from pattern than Julia. How can they be identified when there’s nothing to go on?” 
“I’ll figure out something,” you said. “Lloyd won’t be back until Tuesday, so I’ve got time.” 
 “Where is he?” Marco asked. 
You noted his demeanor changed when Lloyd’s name came up. His arms crossed, creating a subtle barrier between you, and the paper cup in his hand crumpled in his grip. His attention was riveted on you, belying the casual tone he’d spoken in. 
“He’s out west, taking care of family matters.”
“Huh. So, Lloyd didn’t hatch from an egg?”
“You worked with him before, you’d probably know more than me.”
The comment slipped out, not entirely by accident. Meeting people who’d known Lloyd in the past alway stirred your curiosity. Lloyd’s life had been a series of transformations: a gifted law student turned cold-blooded intelligence officer, then a disgraced ex-spy who’d become a ruthless mercenary and landed himself in prison. You’d only known Lloyd after his metamorphosis into a law-abiding citizen. Discovering the previous version that had existed before was a constant source of entertainment. Gruesome entertainment, perhaps, but you couldn’t check your impulse to fish for information whenever the chance presented itself. 
“Do you enjoy working with Lloyd?” 
Marco’s question took you off guard. 
“Yes. He was a bit of a pill at first, but then I discovered he could be charming when he wanted to be. After that, I made sure he had reasons to be charming.”
“What makes him want to be charming?”
“Rewards. Lloyd responds best to positive reinforcement. It works wonders.” 
“Really?” 
“He’s like a border collie. If you don’t keep him occupied and engaged, he’ll start chasing squirrels and digging up the yard.”
Marco chuckled. You pressed him harder.
“What was working with Lloyd like for you?”
He pursed his lips. “I knew him when he was on Zach’s team. They were doing God-knows-what in the same area where I was deployed. He was obnoxious.” 
His fingers tightened on the paper cup, crushing it nearly in half, unaware of the action. 
“Yeah. But Special Forces attracts a lot of obnoxious people.” 
His lips twitched, and he inclined his head in acknowledgment. 
“One day Lloyd showed up with extras. Tag-a-longs from Langley, I think. They assigned my team as their support crew. We were waiting at a checkpoint to help them exfiltrate, which should have been simple, but things went sideways and we had to extract them. Everyone was accounted for - except Lloyd’s extras.” 
You watched Marco’s lips compress. His shoulders bunched and you read anger in the lines of his body and the set of his jaw. He’d crumpled the coffee cup flat. Silence stretched. You waited, knowing he’d eventually fill the silence. 
Marco’s eyes flickered, shifting to internal focus. You could tell he was picking his words carefully. 
“The most dangerous predators wear the most charming masks. Lloyd… Lloyd is a viper in Gucci loafers. He takes pleasure in manipulating people, especially emotionally. Lloyd comes across brash, but underneath it he’s malicious, with a ruthless streak ten miles wide. I’ve seen it in action. Trust me, his blood runs cold.”
You were silent, thinking of Lloyd’s revelations in Qatar. He’d cultivated a certain image in the intelligence community, and clearly, Marco had experienced it. Silence hung over the room as he continued to weigh his words. 
“We were behind enemy lines at that point, but I offered to turn back and try to save the tag-a-longs. Lloyd laughed. Straight up laughed, and told me everything had gone according to plan. The agents had been on a one way trip from the start and he’d risked the whole team’s lives to dispose of them.” 
“What did you do?”
His eyes flashed. 
“I went back for them. One was alive. They’d slit the other’s throat. I reported the incident to command and got transferred to a different continent the next day. Later I found out the guy I’d saved died in the hospital because of a medication error.” 
You nodded, studying his reactions. They were full of anger and distaste. Marco’s story was authentic and his emotions genuine. Defending Lloyd, explaining that he’d changed, wouldn’t help Marco. He’d known a different person than you did. That version of Lloyd had done terrible things without remorse and he was still capable of it, when pushed. 
“Lloyd is charming, but be careful. He’s not trustworthy.” 
“I appreciate the warning, and I’m familiar with his background. He’s changed a lot since prison. There are still rough edges, and the ruthless streak is still there, but the malice isn’t.” 
Marco raised an eyebrow. “That’s an interesting conclusion.”
“If you want to say ‘bullshit,’ just say it. There’s no need to take that tone.” 
“Noted. Why don’t we find something more pleasant to talk about than Lloyd? Say, over coffee? Or better yet, dinner?” 
You wanted to accept, so you could find out more about Lloyd, but the invitation was clearly romantic. 
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m seeing someone right now. Maybe another time.”
His lips curled into a rueful smile. Before he could speak, there was a loud buzz. Your heads turned toward the front door in unison.
“Where’s the video feed?” Marco asked.
“I think there’s one at the front desk.”
The buzzer sounded again. Who would visit Zach’s office on a Saturday? Anyone who had business being here on the weekend would’ve had a key. With Marco on your heels, you headed for the lobby. Behind the receptionist’s desk, you found a monitor discreetly mounted into the wall, displaying the feed from the hall. A man in a shirt and tie, with a gun holstered on his right hip, stood outside. 
He looked into the camera and you recognized Detective Roth. 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Carl Shepherd woke up with a headache. A second later, he realized someone had tied him to a chair with his hands cuffed behind him. There was duct tape securing the cuffs to prevent him from picking them. 
“What the fuck?!”
“Well, well, look who’s awake. Had a good nap, Sleeping Beauty?” 
His head swung, searching the darkness for the owner of the voice. A switch clicked and Carl hissed, whipping his head away from the 10,000 lumen work lamps that burned his eyes. His head throbbed in protest at the dazzling light and the quick movement. 
“Fuck! What are you doing? Are you trying to blind me?!” 
The beams from the industrial lamps were like looking at the sun. He squinted out of the corner of his right eye, trying to see his kidnapper. 
“You can’t do this! I’m untouchable, damn it! I make one call to Sheriff Holbrook and you’re running for the rest of your lives. What kind of psycho are you?!” 
“We’re the Canadians,” the voice said. “We’re here for a stockpile of drugs a former business associate of ours misplaced. Rumor has it you’d know something about it.”
He laughed. “Canadians? You don’t scare me.”
“I don’t need to scare you, but what should scare you is suffocation. Because guess where we are?”
Carl looked around, noticing the corrugated walls of the room.
“A shipping container.” 
“Bingo. We seal the vents and shut the door and you’re dead. It’s not the lack of oxygen that kills you, it’s the carbon dioxide poisoning from your own exhalations. First, you get a headache, then nausea sets in and your heart rate spikes. You pant for breath, but you can’t get any, so you start to feel dizzy. Then vomiting, seizures, and finally you pass out before officially suffocating to death.” 
Carl considered the threat. His kidnapper took this pause as defiance.
“I’ve run the numbers and given the volume of this container, the ratio of oxygen, the probable rate of consumption, and other variables, suffocation should take about 22 hours. Horrible way to go, trust me. I’ve seen it before.”
He could easily imagine the owner of the voice hovering in the shadows, wearing an oxygen mask as he watched his victim suffer. A long silence lingered as he waited for the kidnapper to continue.
“Alright, suffocation it is…” 
Clothing rustled and the lights illuminated the outline of a man as he stood from a chair on the other side of the work lamps.
“Hey! Wait, don’t!”
“You want to talk?” the kidnapper asked.
“I can’t give you the drugs. You’re looking for Joe Hansen’s stash, right? I don’t have them, it was Deputy Russell who took them!”  
- - - - - 
Elliot leaned against the Camaro, staring straight ahead. 
“We’re screwed. We’re totally screwed.”
Lloyd resisted the urge to point out that Elliot was screwed, not him. If push came to shove he’d kill Holbrook and slip out of town. That wasn’t something his cousin was hardened enough to consider. At the moment taking out the Sheriff might not be the worst plan. Elliot could serve as his alibi. After seeing how he’d handled the kidnapping, it was obvious he’d be a terrible accomplice, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t set Lloyd up for an acquittal based on reasonable doubt. 
“Holbrook will never believe his right-hand man crossed him,” Elliot said. 
“Deputy Russell is his second?”
“Yeah. Luke Russell.”
“Huh. I think I had a run in with Deputy Luke the other day. Is he partial to a pump-action rifle?”
Elliot’s eyes widened. “That’s him. How’s you get away?”
“Charm, wit, and of course, I’m too pretty to kill,” Lloyd said, and winked. “Listen, this is just a setback. We can work with this. The plan is the same as before - we get the Sheriff busted. Once he’s locked up, you’re in the clear.”
“How? We don’t have any drugs!” 
“Tell me about Deputy Russell.” 
“He’s careful. Paranoid. Kind of off-kilter, socially. When he tries to cover it up, he comes across as creepy. He’s almost as crazy as the Sheriff.” 
Lloyd considered the odds that Holbrook had found another psychopath to partner with. Someone less polished than him, so he’d never have to worry about competition for his elected position. Birds of a feather flocked together, especially the unstable personalities with criminal tendencies, like Joe and Holbrook. They had remained allies for fifteen years before their falling out. Perhaps history wasn’t exactly repeating itself here, but it seemed to rhyme. 
Joe and the Sheriff had gone from partners to enemies. Now, Holbrook and Russell’s alliance was approaching the same crossroads, and Elliot was caught in the middle. 
“He wouldn’t move the drugs? Or check on them?” 
“No,” Elliot said. “If he had the slightest idea we knew about the stash he’d destroy it. Russell is paranoid, in capital letters.” 
“Well, we can’t have that,” Lloyd mused. “Would he sell them?” 
Elliot frowned and scratched his jaw. “Maybe. He’s in this for the money and a quick sale would cover his tracks.”
“Alright,” Lloyd said. “Here’s the new plan.” 
- - - - - 
Carl watched the two men enter the shipping container. His eyes had adjusted to the brightness, but he still couldn’t see anything but shadows past the work lamps. To his surprise, the kidnapper in charge stepped into the light. Dread curled in Carl’s stomach. If he was seeing his kidnapper’s face, that only meant one thing.
“What? What do you want from me?”
“Call Deputy Russell and tell him you found a buyer for the drugs.”
“Are you out of your mind? He’ll kill me!” 
The mustached kidnapper sneered. He reached behind his back and pulled out a Glock. 
“Listen up, Carl. You have two choices. Get us a meeting with Russell, or say goodbye to your kneecaps.” 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Detective Roth hadn’t spoken for twenty minutes. He sat with his arms crossed in the waiting room, opposite from you and Marco. The clock ticked loudly, counting off the seconds as you waited for Zach. 
Marco shifted beside you, his leather jacket creaking. He’d refused to leave you alone with Roth. The protectiveness amused you, since you had no qualms about being alone with the detective, but Marco had taken an instant dislike to the man. It didn’t help that Roth had refused to explain the nature of his visit. He’d breezed in like he owned the place and immediately demanded you round up Zach, Bishop, and Lloyd. 
Your phone vibrated with a text from Zach.
On my way up. 
A moment later, the door opened, and Bishop entered, followed by Zach. 
You did a double take at the sight of Bishop’s outfit. He wore khaki slacks and a novelty golf shirt that made the patterns in Lloyd’s closet look tame. His black polo was decorated in neon-sign print. Hot pink flamingos, lime green palm leaves, turquoise margarita glasses, magenta watermelon slices, and chartreuse pineapples covered the material.
For a man who wore nothing but white or blue shirts and neutral ties to the office, he apparently swung to the opposite end of the spectrum on the weekend. Next time you needed a gift for Lloyd you’d ask Bishop where he bought his golf shirts. 
Zach pinned the detective with hard eyes.
“What brings you here, uninvited, on a Saturday afternoon, Roth?” 
“Which one of you contacted the press?”
“Excuse me?” Zach said, tilting his head. 
“Who leaked evidence to the media? If you speak up now, the punishment won’t be as bad. I’d recommend doing so quickly, because I’d rather not get angrier than I already am.”
“None of us would do that,” Bishop said. 
Roth grunted. “What about Lloyd Hansen? Why isn’t he here?”
You answered. “His father died. He’s in Idaho taking care of family matters.” 
You tried to speak neutrally, but despite your best efforts, anger sizzled in the words.
“The Rolling Stone ran a cover story on the unidentified victims of Shun Nguyen today. The highlight of the piece was that the recently discovered victim was found by the Xiarong crime scene, where she’d been lying undiscovered for the past twenty years.” 
He paused, letting the statement sink in, then continued.
“A podcaster was waiting for me in the parking lot this morning. Guess what he wanted? He wanted to know how we could miss a second victim only a few hundred feet away from the first. That was a fun question to field at six a.m.” 
Zach’s lips compressed and goosebumps rose on your arms as the shock settled in. 
“Do you have any idea how much harder my job just got?” Roth demanded. 
“Our job,” Zach said. 
The detective snorted. “Given the magnifying glass we’re about to be put under, go ahead. Call it your case, please. It’ll keep a few reporters off my back while they chase you around.” 
Zack and Bishop exchanged a glance. You wondered if you should mention what you’d learned from Mr. Liu this morning. Questioning the DNA test when Roth was already upset didn’t feel too smart, but you didn’t want him to think you were hiding information. One look at his tight-lipped expression decided your course of action. 
“We weren’t the ones who contacted the media,” you said.
“We’ve had limited hands on this case in the department and only a few people knew the details published today. I trust all of those people. By default, that puts you all at the top of my suspect list.” 
Roth looked around, studying each face. 
“The only explanation is that someone in this room compromised the investigation. You betrayed your responsibility, mishandled classified information, and screwed me over. As of right now our cooperation is over. Until you hear differently, stay the hell away from my department.”  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Next - Chapter XV
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bandgie · 5 months
Text
Lost & Found
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
a/n: sorry for that wait :(
warnings: MDNI 18+, brief smut, fem!reader, reader walks in on it, cum mentions, jealousy, yeah
2.2k words
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The walk was more intense than you had anticipation. Gravity began to weigh you down rather quickly. Your legs ached, feet cramped, chest squeezing with the inhale of each breath. It was near dark, and you knew damn well that arriving at a mansion so late would raise uncertainty, but you were too desperate to really care.
Trees surrounded the area almost eerily. There a dirt road that lead to the entrance not too far from where you were. Some bushes and flowers were growing on the side of the path. Perhaps they planted those there to lighten the mood, you think. With the shadows of the trees and the beginning of sunset, the house looked somewhat ethereal.
It was then that you saw a woman in working clothes, logs bundled up in her hands most likely for the fireplace. She noticed immediately. It was hard not to when you scurried to her with labored breathing. "Excuse me!" You called out. She took a few tentative steps forward, keeping a distance between you and her. She didn't answer, but made eye contact. You took this as an opportunity to speak.
"I'm so sorry to trouble you, but I heard you were looking for a house maiden that could not read. I'm illiterate and-"
"Oh!" She cuts you off. Her demeanor changes completely. She drops the logs on the ground and reaches for your hand. "Yes yes! We are! Come inside. I'll have to let the head lady know and she'll handle the rest. You must be hungry." Without waiting for your response, she leads you to the front door and allows you to enter.
The mansion was massive on the outside, and it was extravagant on the inside. Ceilings were high, little chandeliers hung everywhere with a big one in the center of the room. The main floor was polished and it shined under the candle lights that were placed everywhere in the house. There was a spiral staircase that lead to the second floor towards the back of the room.
Your eyes trailed around the entire area. There was an east and west part of the first floor; One you assumed for the kitchen and the other for the parlour room. Never had you thought to see such a sight up close, let alone be inside it.
"Go ahead and rest in the drawing room," the woman breaks your thoughts. "I'll draw some tea and get the head lady." She points you the the west side and begins to make her to the East side before she turns around. "I nearly forgot," she starts, "My name is Abigail, it's a pleasure to meet you." You quickly introduce yourself, "The pleasure is mine."
She gives you a friendly smile and bustles away.
-
You're given your black tea quickly, watching as Abagail disappears from the room to get the head lady. Excitement and worry run through your veins. From what you gathered, you seemed like the perfect candidate for this job. The ability to read was important, but it was something you just never really had the opportunity to come across.
Who would've thought it worked in my favor? You wonder. Your tea was barely sipped on before you heard footsteps. You turn your head towards the entrance to see Abagail and a much older lady standing there, eyes already on you. You stood up and briefly curtsied, "Good evening, I'm-"
"Yes Abigail here has already told me," she interrupts. "You're here for the house maiden position I see?" Unlike the first maid you met, this one was rather stern. You could tell for the way her eyes sliced into you, the aged wrinkles on her face. "That is right," you confirm. She hums in understanding. "Though I can see you're eager, you came near sundown. The Viscount is in his room, as is his family. I suppose since we are rather in dire need on an illiterate maid, I can make an exception for your unpunctuality."
You bite your tongue, instead plastering a smile on your face and nodding, "Of course, thank you." This was something you had anticipated, though not so soon. There's always people you have to work with that you might have issues with, it's a guaranteed fact no matter where you go. Still, you hope her attitude is just a strategy to weed out the possible weak links in this mansion.
The head maid, whose name you learned is Meredith, has you go through a series of tests. She hands you writings on paper, some with big and small words. You can recognize some letters, when sentences start and when they end, but actually reading them coherently is near impossible. Meredith is rather surprised by the lack of ability to read. She most likely though you were lying, but she can tell by your expression how hard you were trying to understand what was in front of you.
Then you moved on to numbers, something you could actually recognize. Working at shops, you had no choice but to handle money and perfect your ability to count. Even when you were young, counting was a priority your mom made to teach you. You weren't sure if knowing numbers was a deal-breaker, but Meredith's pleased look told you the opposite. Once you finished your series of trials, she gave you a wide smile.
"I believe you are fit for this position. Cleaning is the main aspect, however you will need to clean the personal library and the Viscount's sons office specifically. Cooking is also necessary, however I don't think we needs more cooks..." Meredith goes on the describe the duties of being a maid here. Though you're trying to listen, you can't help but celebrate on the inside.
You did it. You're here in a new city with people you don't know. You have a job and a place to stay, there's absolutely no reason for you to go back to that shit hole of a village ever again. You find yourself nodding to her requests as she speaks, unable to stop the smile on your face.
"You do understand that you will have to live here as well," she carefully eyes you. "If you have a family or husband back at home, there's some vacation though it's not much." You shake your immediately, "No. None. I came here from a village days away, I can stay here indefinitely." Your answer has her slightly shocked. Though you're still somewhat young, many women your age would have been courted or in the middle of seeking a potential husband.
"Ah, I see," she nods. "Well, I see no issue in you starting immediately. Abagail," she turns to the other maid who has been quiet since the interaction. "Yes Miss?" Meredith stands and nods her head to you, "Prepare a room for our new recruit. There should be some clean sleepwear in the laundry room, have her bathed and dressed for the night."
Abigail nods and ushers to you, a small smile on her lips. She whisks you away to lead you a little further into the parlour room. Besides the piano is a door that she opens with her many keys to reveal the staircase leading downwards. The steps creak as you and her walk, giving you some sense of fear as you walk further into the dark.
Abagail quickly turns talkative once out of ear shot of Meredith, "How exciting! Miss usually has the tests go on for a few days, but your inability must've been so obvious that it wasn't necessary!" Though she meant it as a good thing, you still feel slightly offended by her words. You raise an eyebrow at her, "I'll try to take that as a compliment."
You can see her mortified expression when she recognizers her words. Her apologies come out rapidly, and it looks like she might cry. You quickly raise your hands in defense and shake your head, "No no! I wasn't upset, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"
The sudden sound of creaking and low whining interrupts you. Bits of fear starts to rise in your chest, unsure of what awaits you and Abagail. Rather than looking scared, Abagail shines her lantern in front of her to illuminate two people.
They're completely covered in darkness, but you could see the blurred movements of thrusting.
She's perched up on a table used for sewing. Her hands are collapsed around the man's neck with her legs open, letting him wildly hump into her. You can tell she's trying to be quiet, but with how relentlessly he's fucking her there's little no way she could silence herself.
The man takes notice of his now onlookers, his hazy eyes look up to lock with yours. His pupils are full blown wide, a near inhume look with how dark they are. Pitch black hair falls over his face that would've been unrecognizable if without the lantern.
You can feel your stomach flip, the gasp that gets caught in your throat. The eye contact never breaks even as his hands travel down her naked torso. He grips her waist and brings her closer. The sudden proximity makes her mewl, her head thrown back as moans leave her lips.
You shiver.
"Sir Nyryx!" Abagail shouts in a hushed tone. As if this instance is a common occurrence, she tosses you the lantern and makes her way down the remaining stairs and approaches the woman.
"Absolutely unacceptable!" She harshly rips the two apart, uncaring for the woman's complaints and the man's, whose name you learned is Nyryx, eye roll. Abigail bends down to pick up the maid's clothes, throwing it at her.
"Should I tell the head lady about this and she wouldn't hesitate to kick you out!" The mention of Meredith has the maid pleading, begging for mercy. "No! Abagail you wouldn't! I have children and no other house would hire me-"
Abagail waves her hand, quickly dismissing the woman's pleads. "And it's no wonder why. I don't have time to report you, we just acquired a new maid. You are dismissed."
The half-dressed maid curtseys to both of you and quickly departs. You have to avert your eyes to ignore how cum drips down her bare legs.
"And you!" Abigail speaks up again. Her finger is pointed to Sir Nyryx's chest. A smirk plays on his lips and he adjusts his lower sleepwear.
"And what about me?" He teases.
"I hate when you play smart with me!" She huffs and angrily stabs her finger in his chest. "I understand you have manly urges and whatnot, but that is no excuse for this behavior! You have a chamber for purposes like these. In God's name use it!"
Once Nyryx finishes adjusting his clothes he shrugs. "I did not think someone would be here this late. Let alone a new someone." He gaze looks to you then back to the person scolding him. "But I do wonder, did my behavior entice you? I was being a good lover, no?"
Abigail lets out a frustrated yell and smacks his chest. You gasp at the outburst, worried of what would happen. You fully expect Sir Nyryx to raise his hand, to slap her across the face as any other man might. Instead he laughs, eyes closed genuine satisfaction as he clutches his abdomen.
"You are so fun to tease Abagail," he smiles to her.
There's absolutely no reason for you to feel as jealous as you do. You have barely met this man tonight in a rather absurd way. Abagail doesn't play into his flirting, stomping angrily and on the verge of cursing at him. Still, there's a strange ache in your chest. You wish he would stop talking to her, stop talking all the women here in general.
You can't let go of the image of him fucking her. How impossibly deep how must've been inside for her not to notice you and Abigail walking in on them. His hips thrusting against her erratically, like he was close to finishing. She had already finished multiple times on his cock. You can see the stains on his trousers and the essence on the floor.
How lucky she was to have him all to herself.
Your thoughts are cut off abruptly when Abigail's shoves him out of the basement. He stumbles onto the stairs next to you, his eyes not shying away from your flustered expression.
Sir Nyryx takes in time passing you, his shoulders brushing against yours. A part of you wishes that he grazed his fingers against you instead. There's such an unbearable need to feel his skin on yours that it makes you want to reach out for him.
As if noticing you desire, he smirks at you. "Welcome home, new maid."
Abigail continues to berate him even as he ascends the stairs. You can't find it in you to turn your head away from him. Even his backside is beautiful to look.
"Pay him no mind. He thinks with the head in his trousers rather than the one on his shoulders," Abagail rolls her eyes as she speaks to you.
You should tell her it's not fine, that Sir Nyryx didn't bother you in the slightest bit. However, your mouth is utterly dry and you find it difficult to lie.
You nod.
Pleased with your answer, Abagail returns the nod and wipes her hands on her long skirt. She quickly puts on her friendly smile and ushers you to her side.
"Come, let's get you settled in."
a/n: I would like to formally apologize for the huge delay. I lost motivation and I hit a HUGE writers block. like I wrote this chapter halfway thru a while ago and I thought "how the fuck am I supposed to finish this?" so I stopped and waited for my creative juices to show...took longer than I thought. on a good note we met Nyryx again! no memories of the past ofc, and imma make him a flirt (as always) with some fuckboy tendencies, sorry. Meredith and Abagail are gonna have a lot of character change, but they'll play similar roles to the previous story if you're still reading this, im sorry :(
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