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inkdemonapologist · 3 years

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[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

nEW SESSION (summary here!), where there’s been an unexpected development to the music issue and its time to [checks my notes] taLK TO THE PROPHET AND BREAK INTO SUSIE’S APARTMENT??? Also, the Prophet and Joey have made.... a truce(???), Prophet is concerned Sammy isn’t going to stay on task now that music is returning and has left him a sort of alarming note, and Jack is uh, trying to hold, too many things, maybe some things he shouldn’t be holding, Jack please put those things back,

anyway heres a stack of out-of-context quotes from our session under the readmore:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] My favourite thing is, there are so many reasons that Henry could've avoided things that I have no idea WHY Henry isn't affected. [Jack] Like, is he not affected because his art isn't a performance? Is he not affected because he warded his house? Is he not affected because he'S FILLED WITH GLOWING BLOOD?!?

[Jack] He got as far as feeding his cat, and I feel like feeding cat isn't a performance-- [Sammy] Not usually, not unless you sing a song to your cat, which-- [Jack] Awww! [Sammy] -- which, now that I've said that, sounds like something Jack would do actually,

[Sammy] Ohhhh, that's right, Joey just heard some people play some bad notes and start panicking, and then he stood up and passed out, [Jack] Which is probably how Sammy feels every time he hears people mess up music!

[GM] He finds news on the radio, but they’re not talking about that right now. [Joey] What are they talking about? [GM] Something mundane; business or sports or something. [Jack] The, the sportsball team, got a…..uh….. a, a point. Congratulations, sportsball,

[Joey] If the sportscasters sound normal, then Joey is instantly VERY ANGRY.

[Henry] Henry’s not very musically inclined, but he knows some songs, [Sammy] Like, can you hum Twinkle Twinkle Little Star -- [Jack] “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

[Jack] Jack has made a vague list of the kinds of people who seem to be affected. [Jack] There’s also “NOT HENRY?????” with a bunch of question marks in this list.

[GM] He’s told that Peter is out of town for a week. [Jack] Hmm. [Sammy] PETER WHERE ARE YOU GOING? [Jack] Hmmmmmm. [Sammy] Jack, is Peter coming here, to check on you, [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMMMMM,

[Sammy] *exasperated* NPCs Stop Getting Involved In The Occult Challenge [Henry] Stop Getting Involved In The Occult Or Draw 25

[Joey] Peter had never seen a Bendy cartoon, and this needed to be fixed. [Joey] The premier is this weekend, and he sent tickets to Pete to correct this, error, in his ways. [Jack] ...I think it is very slowly dawning on Jack, that this means that Pete has been pulled directly into yet another… supernatural nonsense... [Sammy] WE DIDNT DO THIS ONE!!

[Sammy] I CAN’T BELIEVE PHONES ARE THE ANTAGONIST OF THIS ADVENTURE

[Henry] Oh wait--! oh, no, nevermind, I forgot he and Allison probably aren’t together yet. [Sammy] Yeah, I think they just met; they had a meet-cute where they found out they both like Frankenstein and that’s it. [Jack] They actually got married today, since nothing else was happening at the Studio, [Sammy] That’s why Allison hasn’t shown up, she was busy getting married!

[GM] Bendy might’ve been keeping tabs on Henry, but it depends I guess on how distressed Joey is seeming. [Joey] Joey is probably just going to bury his sorrow in studying magic. [GM] Okay! That’s fine and normal Joey behaviour!

[Sammy] Sammy will note that nothing got done in the music department, because he has good priorities.

[Jack] I like the idea that it’s just like, when the teacher isn’t in, and nobody does the work the substitute teacher gave you, [Jack] Everyone’s just playing pokemon in the back, [GM] I thought you were going to say “poker,” but I like the way you ended the sentence better.

[Jack] HMMMMMM. I wonder if we know, any suspicious women, who were around on that specific day, who are known to have, skill and interest in magical things, [Joey] And also were aware of the cutouts, [Sammy] *cheerfully* Yeah, weird! Anyway!!!!

[Jack] Sammy was acting weird about Allison. Far too agreeable for a Sammy!

[Sammy] *talking about Prophet* If you want to lock him in somewhere, or restrain him, I’ll cooperate. [Jack] Just handcuff him to Jack! [Sammy] SAMMY IS UNEASY WITH THAT PLAN, [Jack] *laughing* What could go wrong! It’s not like Jack is significantly less strong or anything!!

[Jack] Not everyone makes up their entire self, Joey!!! (Affectionate)!!

[Sammy] I give my word, my sheep! [Henry] How good is your word? [Sammy] I mean. It’s pretty good.

[Henry] Henry’s trying to decide if it would be rude to doodle during this very serious conversation. [Jack] I mean, Jack is taking notes, so I feel like-- [Joey] --you can get away with fake note-ing. [GM] No one will know! [GM] Well, Bendy will know, because he’s up high. [GM] Ceiling Bendy

[Sammy] He’s not gonna give you a grade afterwards, like, this isn’t a lecture, [Jack] Time for Prophet Pop Quiz!

[GM] What’s Prophet writing? [Sammy] Um, I gotta think about this... [Jack] “Dear Frightened Shepherd, that Allison person sure is nice, isn’t she?” [GM] “What’s up with everyone ragging on her?” [Joey] “I think I have finally found a way to bridge the gap between us!” [Jack] “I think you need to replace your sheep, they seem kind of suspicious for no reason,” [Jack] “To Do List: Get Better Sheep”

[Sammy] Does this feel like something that’s trying to take his focus, like, very compelling creative ideas? [GM] Yes. [Sammy] ...Prophet will write “don’t get distracted” five more times.

[GM] His mind is abuzz with thoughts of dancing and actoring, [GM] Ideas to be the best Joey ever! [Jack] Oh no.

[Joey] He will wave at the cutout and make a “come here” motion. [Joey] Though also, he’s looking at the cutout like, I’m not quite sure how this works, but I’m going to trust you that it works! So I’m going to do this and see if Bendy shows up! [Jack] Like someone trying to learn how to do phone video calls for the first time, [Joey] YES. Joey’s actually like really close to the cutout, and the motions -- you can make them out, but it’s really awkward,

[Sammy] They’re in no danger. I will take care of the Shepherd’s sheep. [Jack] ...JACK’S BEEN DOWNGRADED!! He’s no longer PROPHET’S sheep!

[Joey] I like how everything Prophet says really just feels like, Knife Cat face.

[GM] You could probably make a Mythos roll to figure it out. [Joey] *rolls* Oh! Extreme success! [GM] Joey’s back!

[GM] Bendy will lead Joey back to the room, where hopefully there are three alive, non-fighting boys!

[Jack] Part of me was like, “What if Jack DOES turn into a cat…?! It’d be pretty hard to write things!” [GM] *laughs* We’ll keep that in our back pocket, in case Jack ever fails a Mythos check. [Jack] Meowthos check…

[Henry] I’m going to have Henry look, look with his Special Eyes.

[Sammy] *failing a roll* Prophet is just, NOT on the ball today, in any way shape or form. [GM] Really hard not to think about music. : ) [Sammy] Ohhhhhh boy, [Jack] Prophet just writes a note to Sammy that says “HOW do you LIVE like this???”

[Henry] Henry’s gonna try to scribble what he remembers of the symbol! [Sammy] Didn’t we learn, from the last scenario, about reproducing weird symbols, [Henry] No.

[Joey] Did Joey get burnt? [GM] Make a dexterity roll! : ) [Henry] *mumbling* Y’all this entire building is made of wood. *Joey fails* [GM] 1 point of damage, you singe your hand -- on the plus side, you kind of were holding it as it burned up, so it doesn’t fall on the wooden floor. [Sammy] OH GOOD, we’re not LOCKED IN A CLOSET that’s about to burn down? GREAT!

[Joey] We could head over to the infirmary -- [Jack] Jack is already pulling the burn ointment out of his bag. [Jack] He’s prepared this time! [Jack] He’s been practicing, he knows what you’re all like,

[Joey] Joey will give him a smile that’s most recognisable as the “I know you will do good!” smile. [Sammy] Prophet will also smile! It is not a friendly smile. [Jack] It’s a “smile” in quotation marks, but it’s like, baring your teeth as an act of aggression.

[Jack] Jack lets him go to do the call, but just before he picks up the phone, he says, “Don’t call him Petey.”

[GM] The phone rings, and is not answered. [Joey] Okay! Joey hangs up, says Peter checked into his room, but is not answering. Most likely asleep. [Jack] Half of my brain is going, “what if he’s just stood outside Jack’s house?” The other half of my brain is concerned about manias. I hope he’s not decided that now is a really great time to do more writing, and now he can’t stop, and this could go wrong-- [Jack] This is what Jack’s mind is doing, thinking of all the terrible possibilities. [Joey] While humming. [Jack] ...yes. He’s writing some very troubling lyrics.

[Sammy] *talking about Jack’s compulsive humming* Like Cornifer, [Jack] *starts humming Cornifer’s theme* Dangit, now it’s in my head, why would you do this to me? [Sammy] It’s in character! [Sammy] Method acting. : )

[Joey] Joey’s going to grab supplies to make sure Bendy can… hang around with them! [Joey] Sleepover supplies! Let’s grab your sleepover bag! :D

[Sammy] I don’t know why the idea of a wild Bendy running around across the rooftops is so cute to me… [GM] Probably on all fours, [Jack] Scampering,

[Jack] It’s a good thing Henry’s around because I don’t think Jack can… carry??? An entire Sammy??? [Jack] Like he’s good at holding but he’s not strong at holding.

[Joey] We’ve all been acting terrible for the last 24 hours… [Joey] WAIT. We’ve all been acting terrible for the last 24 hours!!!

[GM] Bendy hides under a blanket or something. [Jack] Comfey… [GM] Cozy boy, [Joey] Bendyrito. [Sammy] BENDYRITO,…….. [GM] Rolled up… snug...

[GM] Is everybody coming into the apartment, or just the two? [Jack] Hmmm….. Jack isn’t fond of either of these options. Going in is suspicious and weird; staying outside makes it look even more like they’re breaking in, to steal things, as opposed to, y’know, breaking in, for,,, “good” reasons(???) [Sammy] We’re not breaking in, we’re just walking into this apartment! What’s so weird about that?! [Jack] That’s breaking in. That’s what breaking in is, Sammy. [Sammy] They don’t have to know that we don’t belong here, maybe Susie gave us a key! [Jack] ...they heard us knocking. [Sammy] [Sammy] We’re BEING POLITE!! SHUT UP!!

[Henry] Jack, did you pick up kleptomania.. [Joey] I thought Jack picked up Being Prepared! [Jack] H-he’s just hoarding a little bit!! It’s fine!!! It’s very, useful, see, already Joey got injured!! It was useful to bring lots of things with him okay!!!!!!!!!

[GM] They do not have the police called on them, so that’s nice. [Sammy] Oh good! [Jack] Thank GOODNESS. [Henry] Love when that happens! [GM] If you guys got arrested, the Lurker’s just out in the car all night, [Henry] oh NO, [Jack] Worse punishment than jail… [Joey] Lurker learns how to drive for fun. [GM] *laughs* Gets curious, [Joey] “I said I wouldn’t leave the car, but--”

[Joey] WAIT. There’s a very important factor that we just decided but didn’t say. [GM] Oh? [Joey] If we have Henry heading home, and everyone else sleep over at Jack’s…. [Joey] ...the Lurker finally gets to meet a cat. *everyone gasps* [Jack] Oh that’s SO important

[Henry] And Henry will probably look at these, while in the car, to make sure they don’t have any gold writing on them-- [Sammy] Isn’t Henry driving??? [Henry] ……Henry is not going to look at them in the car,

[Sammy] We’re all going to bed, Sammy, you don’t need a banjo to sleep! [Joey] You might sleep worse if you have a banjo, actually. You might not stop.

[Sammy] Jack you wanna join us? We’re gonna just jam all night! [Jack] It really is Jammy… [Sammy] *laughs* TRUE Jammy!! Real Jammy Hours… [GM] That makes it a pyJAMa party… a real jammy jam…

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #sammy lawrence #Jack Fain #joey drew #Henry Stein #Bendy the Lurker #when in doubt just keep drawing #cthulhu game quotes #everyone except henry got a new insanity and we're doing... fine!

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dcforts · 3 years

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[week 4: selfie together]

1.7k, post-canon, non canon compliant.

Three days to impact (moving out with Cas and a bunch of hunter nerds settling into the bunker to set up the Network), and Dean was still elbow deep in messy drawers, sorting through his stuff in one of the research rooms. He couldn’t believe he had managed to hoard that much crap when he spent there not more than six months every year.

Sam had already taken care of most of it and thrown away a lot of junk when he had moved away with Eileen a year or so ago, so Dean had thought that he would be packed in less than a day with what was left. He was wrong.

He was tackling a bunch of phones and chargers all tangled up together, trying to figure out which ones were still working. Between him and Sam they had probably gone through a hundred or so phones, without counting the burners, their dad’s and those of other hunters, passed on after their deaths.

You had to keep them on, check the messages, write down the contacts – for a long time it was the only way to keep the network going and to make sure that no call for help would ever go unanswered.

Hopefully the Network, with Charlie fancy digital system and stolen tech from the Brits, would make things a lot easier. The bunker would become the hunter HQ that it was always meant to be. And Sam and Dean would still go there from time to time, but it would become more like a workplace than an actual home.

Magazines apparently said you had to keep them separated and all that. So, they were trying.

He wasn’t even halfway done when he found his old phone. It was not too ancient or anything and he used to like it just fine, but for Christmas Claire and the girls had gotten him a new one (“not for work!!” said the note attached to it) so he had just dumped it in here.

It had no SIM card, but there were some police contacts (useful) and the Candy Crush app (not useful). He went on to check the gallery and was surprised to find still some pictures in it.

He snorted, seeing one of the last taken – Sam, drunk on Christmas Day, a paper crown askew on his head, trying to focus enough to play Jenga with someone who was out of the shot. Dean didn’t remember who it was anymore. Sam had the most incredible face on.

Oh, there were pictures from when they went to visit Garth! He had taken them at Frontier Stables in Frederic and Dean and Gertie had possibly been equally excited about riding a horse. There were a bunch of pictures of that day, including one Garth had taken of him where he looked like an absolute dork.

Wow, they must have been at least a year or so older, he had totally forgotten about them. Now, he couldn’t just put the phone down and resume his work. He debated with himself (very briefly) if he could afford a break or not and then flopped down on the floor covered in cardboard boxes to look through the rest of the gallery.

Most of the pictures were cases related, articles and crime scenes, then a bunch of landscapes, an amazing looking burger from that joint in Texas.

There was one with Cas that he had taken one night. Dean’s face was on the foreground, on the left, and he was making a funny face, his index finger to his lips. The red couch was visible behind his shoulders and Cas was by his side, his face turned towards the television screen and lighted by it.

They had been cooped up in Dean’s cave for nearly four hours and all that time Sam was freaking out because he didn’t know where they were and he couldn’t find them. When Dean had checked his phone, he had found fourteen missed calls and a bunch of texts. He had sent him that picture back and written shh it's movie night.

Sam had come bursting through the door two seconds later and bitched at him for fifteen minutes for having his phone on silent and then stayed and watched Back to the Future III with them.

This was before he and Cas even got together – well, officially at least.

It felt like so long ago, back when they were all: fingers brushing, intense gazing, losing track of time when alone together. They were so clueless.

It had sorted itself out though. A couple of weeks after that, Dean had fallen asleep on Cas’ shoulder and Cas had spent the rest of the night holding him and he had done that every night since.

Dean smiled and scrolled down, back in time.

More photos on the road, book pages, his car against a pretty sunset. Then a group selfie that they sent to Jody for her birthday. Sam and Eileen were still living at the bunker then and Sam was holding the phone, on account of having three feet long arms. They were standing in the kitchen, Eileen right next to him, under his other arm and Dean next to Eileen.

Cas had appeared on the door as they were getting in position so Sam he had told him to hurry up, get in the frame and he had come to stand next to Dean, stiff like a statue. Sam had said, a little closer, so Dean had slung an arm around his neck and pulled him towards him.

Right when Sam had been about to snap it, Cas had grabbed Dean’s hand, that was dangling over his shoulder. So of course, in the picture Dean looked like a total idiot, with his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted in surprise. He had even stopped breathing a little and Cas next to him had the audacity to look totally oblivious. Dean zoomed in on his face and cackled at himself. God, and what was up with that haircut he had, did he even look at himself in the mirror.

He went on.

A few rows below there was another selfie. It was just him this time and it was terrible, the sunlight making the picture look all wrong, like there was a filter on it. It was a vertical shot that showed just about his face and shoulders.

It had been early in the morning, he was bleary-eyed and there was a little wrinkle in between his eyebrows because he had been in the car waiting for Sam to come back with their coffee for twenty minutes.

Cas had texted him out of the blue, Can you send me a picture of you? and Dean had snapped it and sent it without thinking and then he had written, what do you need it for and Cas had written back, I just miss you. Dean had almost dropped his phone, then put it away and not looked at it until late that night. Yeah, it hadn’t been one of his best moments.

Finally he had managed to pull out the conversation again. He had typed and deleted miss you too and same and same, man about a thousand times and then ended up writing your turn now.

He remembered that Cas had been quick to reply with an even worse shot than the one he had sent. Some blurry picture he had taken under a streetlight, his face wearing an intense expression, as if he needed to focus to tap once on a screen. Still, Dean had looked at it for an hour before he had gone to sleep. What a sap.

Thinking of that photo reminded him of another one. He wondered if? It took a while to find it, but it was there, almost at the end of the gallery, right after a picture of Jody in a ridiculous sun hat from when they all went to the beach for the weekend.

It was there. Their first selfie together. He snorted out loud.

He had been pacing in the map room, cursing at his phone that was stuck with the camera open. He was trying everything and it just wouldn’t close.

Cas had come look over his shoulder while Dean had been furiously tapping, and that was when the screen had frozen and flashed and the result of that was a picture of the two of them from the most unflattering angle, frowning down at the phone. Two half faces, Dean on the right, Cas on the left. Dean thought it was hilarious.

Cas had said, “I think you took a picture,” because he was a great help as usual and Dean had said, “Yeah, no shit Cas,” and eventually had to restart the phone to make it work again.

He couldn’t believe that had happened more than two years ago.

“I’m done with the inventory of the herbs. Are you done in here?” said Cas, poking his head in from the hallway. Dean very obviously wasn’t done, but he was still smiling, so Cas said, “What is it?” and came to crouch beside him to peer at his phone and the infamous selfie, “Why did we take this?”

Dean laughed, “We didn’t. My phone was acting up.”

"And you kept it?"

"Yeah, of course I kept it," Dean said, tilting his phone away, as if Cas would jump him to delete it.

Cas had other priorities. He kissed his temple.

"Okay," he said amused, then, "Do you need help? Charlie is coming over in an hour to set up the - cables."

There were no cables. Cas clearly didn’t know what he was talking about, but Dean had no idea of what Charlie was supposed to do either, so.

"No, just - wait, let's take a picture," he said, grabbing his sleeve before he could get up. Cas settled once again next to him and Dean opened the camera and held his phone up, then got his other arm around Cas’ shoulders.

The light was not great, like anywhere else in the bunker and they looked exhausted after a day's work but still, not a bad sight, if Dean could say so himself.

He focused on Cas on the screen, the little smile on his lips.

He grinned. He was gonna spend the rest of his life with that face, he thought. Jesus.

"Dean?" Cas called, after another moment of nothing.

"Alright, alright," he said and snapped the picture.

@bend-me-shape-me said #deancassummerprompts21 and I said YES

#deancassummerprompts21 #deancas #deancas ficlet #fwf #as in finale? what finale?#i couldnt decide on what idea to focus on so i kept them all #incredibly on time for once #i just didn't want to edit it too much cause i like it????#yeah i know weird #it was fun #my writing

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paper-n-ashes · 3 years

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sparks and embers - chapter 3

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Chapter 3 - The Return

Words: 4k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: medical descriptions and procedures, some sexual themes - mainly in the form of OC being thirsty AF

Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning

On the way back from the East village, filled with the Gossams, humans and other alien species who had similarly escaped to a simpler life, I couldn’t help but curse at myself for giving in so easily to the pleas of a good-looking stranger.

Aiding someone merely for their physical appearance? How horribly unprofessional.

The voice in the back of my mind was loud. And curiously judgemental.

It had been over a full day cycle since I’d departed the clinic, making Poe vow to remain within the confines of his bed until I had returned. I’d left him with enough food for two days of my travelling, hygiene supplies, a drip running slowly for some pain relief and range of tools for him to attempt getting BB-8 up and running, hoping he wouldn’t have any reason to struggle getting out of bed.

The thought of his still fragile femur bone breaking and splitting the artery I’d spent all my energy on mending was beyond frightening. I worried about him every minute I was awake, imagining any number of complications that would leave me a corpse to find when I arrived back.

Bleeding, clots, stroke, infection, sepsis.

It wasn’t easy to slip those thoughts from my mind in the lone starkness of the Raxus countryside. There wasn’t really anything to look at except grass and sky, nothing to distract me from the worst case scenarios.

I’d convinced some of my old patients to join my cause, promising them better medicine and equipment if I was only able to have a comm-tower to order everything I needed. It didn’t seem like lying. The comm-tower really was my only link to the rest of the galaxy, and I would have needed it fixed anyway. Only now, time seemed to be more of the essence.

After spending the night amongst the locals I had grown to be familiar with over the last few years, I’d begun the trek back with the knowledge at least one problem had been solved. Some promised spare parts, others were going to follow my path within the next day cycle to get my comm-link back online. I hadn’t divulged all the story, at least not the part about this repair job apparently being a determining factor in the fate of the galaxy.

I hadn’t pressed Poe about what that meant exactly. I was used to the Resistance and their soldiers having somewhat of a flair for the dramatic when it came to war, after healing many of their battle wounds in years past. I knew how fervently they believed in their cause - that they were the only thing standing between galaxy wide harmony and First Order dictatorship.

I understood their hope of peace in our lifetime, but I’d lost mine a long time ago. Good, bad, they were just two sides of a coin that would flip for eternity, desperately chasing power for their own reasons.

In truth, I didn’t particularly care. I just hoped to live my life somewhat free from the burden of picking a side.

Before unlocking the clinic door, my feet aching from hiking for 6 straight hours, I drew in a long breath with a silent prayer I wouldn’t be walking in to find a dead body. With a fluid motion I turned the handle and pushed the door open, my head popping in first around the entryway to where Poe’s hospital bed stood. He immediately heard the latch clicking and shot his head up to meet with my eyes.

“You’re back,” he smiled, as I noted how much colour had returned to his face during my absence.

He looked so much better.

For the first time, I found myself studying his face, my stare tracing from his strong angular jawline to his high cheekbones, the prominence of his nose, the whiskey colour of his large cheerful eyes, his tousled deep brown hair. Then I took in his wide grin, shapely pink lips curled upwards to show perfectly set white teeth.

Stars, he’s so handsome.

In the muddle of memories I’d conceived from the night of his crash I’d not recognised, at least not during the time I was struggling to keep him alive, how attractive he was. And now with his health a far better picture than the last time I’d seen him, it was all I could notice. My heart quivered through a beat as he beamed at me, soon realising his smile was more a reflection of the prospective good news I brought with my return, making it settle back into a normal rhythm.

“Hi,” I breathed, walking closer and setting my pack down at the foot of the hospital bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he answered, “The smaller burns are almost gone, and my chest wound is closed, look!” He pulled up the grey hospital shirt I’d managed to change him into before I had to leave. This time when I saw the nakedness of his chest and abdomen I couldn’t help but stare at his softly defined muscles, all tensing during his movement. He was right, the hole below his rib now sealed, a newly-formed, pink scar in its place. The chest tube was still secured above it, now redundant.

“Gotta love bacta,” I hummed. “I can take that drain out now if you like.”

He looked at me incredulously. “You’ve just done a 30 hour round trip for me, not even sat down, and you want to dive head first into more treatment?”

“I... uh... I mean... I just wanted to help you feel better,” I stammered.

Poe shook his head, smirking. “It’s okay, I appreciate it. Really, I do. But I’m alright, the tube can wait. How about you rest for a second and tell me how the mission- I mean, trip, went?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Two days ago you were begging me to get going so I couldn’t waste any time, now you’re telling me I can take a load off?”

"Uh, yeah… Sorry about that,” he grimaced. “Having some time to think while you were gone... It made me realise everything you’d done and were doing for me - a stranger you had no reason to help." Poe took a long exhale before speaking again, his tone serious. "I was in a lot of pain, just woken up in a strange place. It’s still imperative to get a message back to the Resistance as soon as possible but... that’s not your burden to bear. I can't thank you enough for your help, but I'll try not to ask too much more of you.”

It seemed not only had his physical health improved, but logical thought and patience had returned.

I took my cue to sit on one of the opposite hospital beds, letting my feet dangle over the edge to kick my shoes off, feet pulsing with gratitude at their release. “There’s some villagers coming tomorrow,” I started. “They will hopefully have a new comm-tower up and running within the next couple of days. I told them about your droid too. There’s some spare parts in that bag.” I pointed my hand out to the satchel at Poe’s feet, glancing at the L shaped table beside his bed I’d set up. BB-8 was sitting on top of it, head and body still separated and now unbolted at separate points, wires haphazardly sticking out in different directions. Falling back into the mattress, I let out an exhausted sigh, relishing the feel of the squeaky mattress under my body.

“I really owe you. The Resistance owes you,” Poe praised after a few moments of silence, as I heard him begin to rummage through the satchel. I held back a frown, even when I knew he wouldn’t be able to catch sight of my face.

I didn’t do any of this for the Resistance.

It occurred to me then I wasn’t really sure why I’d done it at all. I had always been a sucker for those in poor predicaments, hence why I became a doctor in the first place. But the trek had nothing to do with treatment or medicine. It was purely at the behest of this pilot, who’s charming appearance in the dimmed orange light of the evening made my skin feel hot.

“So, how did a girl like you find herself in the middle of nowhere on the Outer Rim?” Poe questioned, fiddling with some of the parts.

I sat back up. “I’m not a girl. I’m 28. That’s a little too old to be called girl anymore.”

Poe chuckled, the sound of his laugh both warming and positively thrilling. “I apologise. How did a woman like you end up here?”

“I used to work on Coruscant, that’s where I started my medical training,” I explained, remembering the glittering planet I’d spent much of my young life on. “Then moved into the war relief efforts on medical frigates scattered throughout the galaxy. Treating wounded soldiers day in day out took its toll, having people constantly injured and almost dying for a war they didn’t start.” I glanced to Poe's expression, seeing a glow of understanding behind his eyes before I continued. “Plus, there were more than a few times I felt a little redundant. The medical droids they have kind of... made my treatment obsolete. I wanted to practice medicine in a place where adequate health care was rare or non-existent. I wanted to help those who were most desperate, who otherwise couldn’t afford it, those who would actually value the care of a live human doctor. So I picked a planet at random, and settled here."

The random part was an utter lie. No one had cared about Raxus since the Clone Wars, and the First Order wouldn’t make it their priority to conquer Outer Rim worlds for a while yet. It was a quiet, calm planet with countless refugees fleeing here to make peaceful new lives. They wouldn’t be concerned about old, rusty equipment, lower quality bacta or no medical droids. They would simply be happy at having a doctor within a day’s trek.

And no one would think of looking here for a Force user.

Poe studied me in quiet thought for a moment, taking in what I’d divulged. “Well, they're damn lucky, with how nicely you patched me up. You’d run circles around some of the doctors and medical droids at the Resistance base.” He grinned at me again, earnestly, another attempt to thank me for my work. I felt the pit of my stomach tense, and it wouldn’t retreat, the thought of his smile lingering in my mind even after he’d gone back to his tinkering.

It had to be because I’d been in isolation for so long, why I was reacting so strongly to the innocent smiles and compliments of a man I barely knew. I definitely wasn’t used to conversing with men so close in age to my own. Most of the local humans were older, married with children, and I rarely made conversation around any other topic than their illnesses.

“What... uh... Why were you flying over Raxus?” I asked awkwardly.

His eyebrows creased together as he looked back at me. “Raxus wasn’t my destination, but I... can’t tell you any more than that.”

“Oh…”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he urged. “It’s just, you know, highly confidential.” He seemed apologetic, like he owed me more of an explanation.

I nodded, agreeing the less I knew about the Resistance and their missions the better. “Well, you’ll be able to get back to it in a couple of days,” I insisted, breaking the awkward silence that had lingered. “Some time and a little bit more bacta and you’ll be like new again.”

“Actually, speaking of that,” he started, an uneasy expression now settling in his features. “I was wondering when you were thinking of letting me get out of this bed.”

“Depends on the reason Poe. I’d recommend starting your formal rehab tomorrow at the absolute earliest, otherwise we can get you up and walking if you need to do something… uh… specific.” There was no hiding the waver in my voice.

He laughed, louder than he had before, the sound making it difficult for me not to blush. “Aren’t you a doctor? Why are you embarrassed for me to use the bathroom?”

“Hey!” I frowned. “I was trying to save you from being embarrassed.”

He shook his head, still chuckling. “I’m alright on that front for now. I was actually hoping to use your refresher. It’s been a few days…”

“Oh of course!” I’d cleaned him up as much as I could before I’d left, getting rid of his obliterated flight suit and helping change into the bland hospital outfit I reserved for overnighters, but even to myself the idea of a shower was enticing.

A thought flashed into my mind of steaming water hitting Poe’s sun darkened skin, trickling down his toned body as he lathered himself in soap suds.

Woah.

Okay.

That was new.

It had been such a long time since I’d felt the fire of blood rushing to the lower portion of my abdomen, insides clenching at the heat so suddenly ignited.

Poe was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. I internally shook away the incriminating thoughts before they could be conveyed on my face. “How about I get that chest tube out first? Then I can help you to the ‘fresher?”

He breathed out in relief. “That would be fantastic.”

I stepped lightly off the hospital bed, walking shoe-less over to my medical trolley to drag it back to Poe’s side. And immediately, without me asking, he sat up and began a haphazard attempt to pull off his shirt, left arm bandaged and stiff, right arm enveloped in the cast I’d made and evidently still painful to move.

In a wordless reply, I helped him pull the fabric over his head, confronted with the image of a half-naked, strikingly handsome man in front of me.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t recognised any of his raw allure when he’d been almost stripped completely bare by my own hands on the night of his crash. It seemed bizarre I wouldn’t have noted the strong, broadness of his shoulders, his armoured chest littered deliciously with dark hair, carved abdominal muscles tensed in waiting.

I swallowed hard, hoping Poe wouldn’t register my shaking hands as I prepared the tube removal kit. Snipping the sutures around the plastic, unsteady gloved fingers pulled out the tube as smoothly as I could manage, Poe flinching slightly at the sensation. He continued to look away as I injected some bacta gel into the wound, sealing it closed with a few new sutures and placing a waterproof dressing over the site.

“All done,” I settled. “Like nothing happened at all.”

Poe looked back to me and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. It was obvious he remained troubled by the memories of his crash, and understandably so. I’d seen the same look in many other military personnel, the attempt to put on a brave face when images of fire, blood and terror pierced their thoughts. I desperately wanted to take his mind to a brighter place. “So, ready to try walking?”

“Absolutely! Lead the way doc.”

Ugh. Eventually I would have to correct him on that.

I stepped back from the side of the bed, arms stretched in readiness for when he inevitably stumbled. “Please take it slowly. Your muscles aren’t going to be pleased with what you’re doing after over two days of bed rest.”

“Sure thing,” Poe scoffed.

Typical male.

Initially he seemed to take my direction, moving his legs slowly from under the blanket, pain now registering on his features. He swivelled himself sluggishly to let his legs fall over the side of the mattress, breathing slightly heavier to push through the discomfort.

He was leaning more on his left side, right arm hovering over his thigh. Tentatively, he slipped his left foot onto the floor and shifted his weight onto it, pushing his hand into the mattress to help himself up.

Soon he was standing in front of me for the first time since we’d met, and even amongst all the burns, bruises, dressings and bandages, he looked impossibly strong, toned muscles wrapping his form.

He noticed the timid smile form on my lips.

“Hey don’t start laughing at me. I don’t think I could handle my ego being bruised along with the rest of me.”

“Oh... I wasn’t-,” I stumbled, quietly relieved he’d misread the reason behind my smirk.

He held his hand up in protest, grinning. “I was kidding. You’re welcome to laugh at the adult sized toddler learning to walk again.”

It was difficult not to snicker at his words. “Come on,” I encouraged. “Just think of how nice that hot water will feel.”

He sighed in agreement and moved, taking a hesitant step onto the previously fractured leg. I swiftly froze with anxiety, even when the logical side of my brain told me both the break and the artery would have stabilised exponentially by now. But the emotional side, the part that remembered the rush of blood that had exploded from the wound site, nagged incessantly at me, insisting that this was a very bad idea.

My eyes were glued to Poe’s figure as he shifted his weight deliberately, muscles tensing at the trigger of pain he was likely feeling, before he made a delicate hop to move back onto his left leg.

Even that one haggard step appeared to take a lot out of him, but he seemed determined, eyebrows already wrinkled in concentration. He continued the process a few times over, my arms still poised in waiting for the foreseeable stumble as I walked backwards. I couldn’t help but hold my breath as he limped, following me out of the clinic room into the hallway that lead to my office, the ‘fresher, and my living quarters all the way at the end.

His steps became faster, more confident, when all of a sudden, his balance wavered.

Reacting quickly, I stepped forward to catch him, arms circling under his own and around his torso, hands now gripping the muscles on his back as he crashed into me. I would have stayed there for a moment, my fingertips registering the warmth radiating off his skin, until I became fully aware where his face had fallen into.

I felt Poe’s heated exhale through the cotton of my white shirt after his face had collided into my chest, directly between my breasts. The twinge in my lower abdomen occurred again, breath hitching in my throat.

He scrambled to push himself back into a standing position, my arms releasing from around him, his hands clamping around my biceps as he fought to reclaim his steadiness again.

“I am so sorry!” he blurted, his face dangerously close to mine, only a small touch of redness visible under his caramel skinned cheeks. I knew my blushing would be much more pronounced.

“It’s okay,” I breathed. “I was waiting for that to happen.”

His eyes widened.

“Not that!” I yelped. “I meant you falling! I was waiting for you to fall!”

Poe’s face illuminated into a beaming grin. “Sure you did.”

I frowned in protest, but couldn’t stop the chuckle escaping. I shifted to face the same way as him, an arm curling around his torso, angling my body under his own. “How about I help you the rest of the way?”

His hand gripped onto my shoulder, the hardened squeeze making the tensing inside me ripple even faster.

Focus Alex.

Poe let me support him as he limped down the hallway, and I desperately tried to distance myself from the thoughts that swirled in my mind at being connected so closely.

Eventually we made it into the ‘fresher, a white and grey tiled room with the large, frameless shower enclosure taking up most of the space, the only privacy a plastic curtain that could be pulled across the entire spans of the room. I’d designed it with the idea there would be enough space to assist overnighter patient’s in washing themselves, since I didn’t have a nurse to do it for me. Yet, it still gave me the ability to provide some discretion by stepping out past the other side of the curtain, ready to swoop in if I was needed.

And that’s what I’d planned for Poe, knowing he was hardly the type of patient that was going to let me do anything for him if he could help it. Guiding him to the backless shower chair, I released him to his own devices and quickly pulled the curtain across. It was more for my own concealment at this point, needing to take a moment to settle myself down, the memory of his hold still lingering on my skin.

“I’ll be right here if you need any help okay? Everything you need will be on the shelf under the shower start button.”

“Thanks Alex,” he answered, his voice huffing out as I could hear he’d already started to shimmy down his pants.

Stop imagining it Alex. Stop thinking about him naked, a metre away, behind that thin curtain.

The sound of water rushing into the tile floor pulled me back into some impression of reality. I busied myself with organising my own hygienic supplies in the mirrored cupboard, desperately trying to think of anything other than the man hidden from my view, steam swirling around his figure, water dribbling down his bare skin. From behind the screen I heard a pleasant moan leave him, obviously enjoying the hot water battering into his aching muscles for the first time in days.

And with that sound I felt a twinge between my legs, heat swelling and rippling outwards through my body.

Stars, that was... hot.

It felt so unprofessional, to be tantalized by the thought of a man, a patient, in the middle of such a basic act of human hygiene. But I couldn’t deny he was more attractive than any patient I’d ever had in my life, and the thought of ripping open the curtain so I could join him was suddenly the most tempting thing in the galaxy.

I locked my hands onto the basin that stood in front of me, trying not to be overwhelmed by the sound of Poe lathering soap between his hands, then sliding over an unseen portion of his body.

It was then I started to pace, hoping the repetitive movement would stop me ruminating over the indecent notions my mind was conjuring. Minutes ticked by too slowly as I waited for him to finish his routine, begging for the irresistible pull of craving to be released from me.

“Hey Alex?” Poe suddenly called.

“What's wrong?” I squeaked, cursing at myself for sounding so startled.

“I actually need some help.”

Oh maker, why do you do this to me?

I swallowed hard. “Y-yeah. Sure. Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he began, voice sounding a little forced. “It’s just... with my left arm still bandaged, and my right arm still in the cast, I can’t wash my hair. I know it’s a little strange, but could you help me out?”

My heart ricocheted inside my rib cage, frolicking at the thought of seeing him soaked in water, fingers raking through his dampened hair.

Come on Alex, try to keep at least one shred of professionalism.

“Sure,” I agreed, a more competent tone saturating my voice as I withheld my internal fluttering. “Make yourself… uh… decent, and I’ll open the curtain.”

I heard Poe’s movement as he reached for one of the towels hanging on the rail nearby and wrapped it around his lower body. The flowing water soon came to a stop, the sudden silence making me feel uneasy.

“Ready.”

I placed myself in front of the curtain between us, his stature only barely visible through the clouded screen. My jaw was locked as I took a deep breath through my nose, meditating in thought, frantically clawing at a sense of calm.

Then I reached towards the plastic, clenched my hand around it, and pulled.

Next Chapter

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give-seconds · 3 years

Text

Back to You

Summary: You and Mark are all each other have, he’s easily the most important person to you. But something happens and you both are slowly separated, so you work your hardest to be accepted into a college in Korea so you can find your way back to a home with him again.

Masterlist | Main Masterlist

--- Part 11

“Hey y/n.”

“Um hi Hyunjin,” you greet perplexedly. You’ve only spoken to your RA a couple of times, all of them at some sort of group gathering. “Do you need me for something?”

“Not exactly,” she sets her phone on the desk and looks up at you from behind the raised front desk, “A woman is waiting for you in the commons area. She said to tell you she’s Minhyung’s mom.”

“Oh,” you swallow dryly, clenching and unclenching your fists nervously. “Thanks.”

She smiles politely before picking her phone back up to resume whatever it was she was doing.

Nodding your head to yourself, you slowly turn around and begin walking to the common area. Why is she here? What could she possibly have to say to me? Does she know I’m meeting him today? She already told me she won’t ask me to leave, so it must be that she knows. I mean, what else could-

“Oh hello, y/n.”

You freeze for a second, reminding yourself to take a deep breath. Squaring your shoulders, you force a smile on your face. “Hi Eu-In, how are you?”

She motions to the chair opposite her. “Let’s skip the greetings.”

You feel your blood turn cold, and you force yourself to start moving again to sit in the chair. “What can I help you with?”

She smiles, and if you weren’t filled with anxiety, you might have rolled your eyes at how fake it is. “I want you to stay away from my son. But that isn’t anything too unexpected now, is it?”

You don’t know what to say. You had hoped you had settled this the night of the performance, but deep down, you knew she wasn’t done letting you know how much she dislikes you.

“I’ve told you this before,” she says, taking your silence as an invitation to continue. “You’re not good for him. You remind him of a time that was spent in an unhealthy atmosphere, and as his mother, I can’t in good conscience let him continue to be around you. It has nothing to do with you.”

You scoff inwardly; you never thought she would say it to your face. “With all due respect, I think Mark-”

“Minhyung.”

You blink at her interruption, thrown off for a second. “I think he is old enough to make decisions for himself. He’s in his second year of college, and I know you had him in therapy. He’s in a place where he can make his own decisions.”

“I don’t think you understand,” she hisses. “I’m done beating around the bush. I’ve tried everything to get you and Minhyung to come to this decision on your own. So now, I’m done with that, and I’ve decided to be blunt with you. I don’t like you, y/n. I’ve told you this, but you’re bad for him.”

“You don’t know me,” you say, surprised by the loud volume of your voice. Quickly looking around to make sure no one heard you, you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. “How can you not like me?”

“I don’t need to. You’re the daughter of the man who ruined mine and my family’s life. Because of you, John grew up an only child with memories of a younger brother. My husband and I didn’t sleep for weeks after he was taken, and every year on his birthday, we were reminded of the child we thought was dead. We had to bury an empty coffin. Do you know what that felt like?”

You remember the day he went to court to be legally resurrected. His parents had bought him a pair of nice pants and a nice shirt, styled his hair, and whisked him away early in the morning. When he got back, he had dragged his mom straight to your foster parents’ house, not even bothering to change.

That moment felt like it was yesterday. The smile on Mrs. Lee’s face had instantly disappeared as soon as he let go of her hand to hug you. If someone were to ask you the moment you knew she didn’t like you, you’d answer with that moment. If you had to guess, it was the moment she realized you were there to stay.

“I take no pleasure in your family’s suffering, Mrs. Lee. You know that, right?”

She sighs. “That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it.”

“But you blame me for something I had no control over?”

She stares at you, eyes void of any emotion outside of annoyance. That’s the thing about her, she never yells. She just looks at you like you’re lower than dirt.

“I never said you were to blame, y/n. You’re just an unwanted reminder. There’s a reason for the saying ‘like father like daughter.’”

Your breath catches in your throat, and for a second, you forget to breathe. Those have always been the words you fear the most. To hear you’re in any way like your dad terrifies you.

“You know,” you whisper, forcing yourself to make eye contact with her. “Your son isn’t the only one who got therapy. Something my therapist would say to me was ‘heredity is not destiny.’ I am nothing like my father; I have worked very hard to make sure of that. So while I understand you not liking me, I can’t promise you I’m never going to see your son again. He’s the only family I have, and I don’t plan on letting him go.”

“He’s not your family! You know that, right? That’s the crazy kind of thinking your father has. So while you may think you’re better than him, you’re not. As long as you think of my son as your family, your thinking is just as messed up as his.”

“I need you to leave.”

You know you don’t sound demanding with your voice, wavering the way it did. You didn’t know how else to respond. While Mark leaving had hurt, you did notice it was easier for you to get better with her gone. After she left, the thoughts telling you you were exactly like your father got smaller and smaller; eventually, they were practically non-existent.

Now that she’s in front of you, telling you once again you’re exactly like him - it’s suffocating.

“What? I’m not done talking.”

“Yes, you are. I know what you want to say, and you know what I’m going to say. What’s the point in staying?”

“Because I can’t leave here until you understand why you can’t be around him,” she says exasperatedly.

“Then I guess I’m leaving first.” With that, you shakily push yourself up and back to where Hyunjin sat, ignoring her calling your name.

“If she comes back, tell her to leave. I don’t want to see her again.”

Hyunjin nods her head, a surprised look on her face as she looks between you and Mrs. Lee.

Tapping your fingers together nervously, you quickly walk to the elevators. You know you’re just anxious, but you can’t help but worry she would follow you.

Once you’re in the safety of your room, you allow the tears to escape from your eyes.

---

“So, how was going to the movies?” Mark asks, taking a sip from his smoothie.

You nod your head in affirmation, tearing off a bit of the fish-shaped pastry. “It was a lot of fun. It was the first time I got to have fun outside of tours.”

You haven’t told him about his mom coming to see you. You’re worried it would cause trouble between him and his mom. The last thing you need is for her to have another reason to dislike you. With that in mind, you had come to meet him with anxiety still settled in your gut.

When you met him, he knew right away something was wrong. You could tell he knew by the way he took your hand and jumped into talking about something that had happened in one of his classes. Back when you were little, the only way he knew how to comfort you was through touch. Whether it was holding your hand, hugging you while you cried, or simply resting his leg against yours as you sat side by side.

After a few minutes of walking from the bus stop, he stopped you outside a smoothie shop, where he told you this was yours and his new place. This was where you were going to pick up where you left off in Vancouver and try all the flavors. It was also where he promised you that, starting today, you were going to try all his favorite street foods.

Sitting here, eating bungeoppang and drinking a blueberry smoothie, you realize this is the happiest you’ve been in a long time. You have your brother back, you don’t have your dad or foster parents looking over your shoulder, and you have friends. Even if his mom would never like you, everything felt like it had fallen into place.

“That’s good, I’m glad you’re having fun here. I know this is early, but at your next break, we should go up to the beach. Oh, or we should make Donghyuck take us to his home in Jeju. That’s way better, we won’t have to pay for a hotel.”

You snort, taking a dink from your paper cup. “Nice to know you have your priorities straight.”

He shrugs his shoulders. “I mean, what’s the point of having friends if you can’t exploit them?”

You smile at him, letting yourself get lost in his eyes. Other than the fact he’s four years older, he looks exactly the same. The way his nose scrunched when he laughed, the way he tapped his fingers or bounced his legs, and the way he parted his hair. It’s all the same.

You chuckle to yourself. He’s definitely more handsome now.

“You got something to say?” he asks, cocking his head upwards dramatically and making his voice with a confident tone.

“Calm down my dude,” you respond, leaning back in your chair. “I’m just happy to be back with you. I really missed you, Mark, and I’m so glad I found you.”

His smile softens and he lightly taps his foot against yours under the table. “Me too, y/n, me too.”

---

Thank you to @softsungchan for proofreading this for me! I’ve figured the way I’ve been going about posting my series is wrong and I promise for any further series (if you’re interested in reading anything else of mine) that it’ll be different 😂.

I would love to know what you thought about this! Have a great day/night!

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youcantfiremebecauseiquit · 3 years

Note

idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship

Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.

i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions

So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).

They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke

But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.

RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.

Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.

And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:

Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.

Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.

Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:

„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”

I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension. As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s

I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.

They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.

Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever

So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him

#asks

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destiel-love-forever · 4 years

Text

What a Jerk

It’s Valentine’s Day. For Castiel & Dean, that means war.

Read below or on AO3: HERE

"What a jerk," Castiel grumbles, closing the door as the delivery man leaves.

"Who?" Benny asks from his spot on the couch a few feet away. He turns to look at Castiel, more words about to come out. Then he sees the giant bouquet of flowers in Castiel's hands and grins. "Oh. Dean."

"Stop smiling. He's an asshole." Castiel storms off to the kitchen. Since his penthouse apartment is an open-floor plan, though, he doesn't escape Benny. He just gets his bitch face from a new angle.

"Yes," Benny says sarcastically. "What an asshole for buying you flowers."

Castiel huffs as he searches for a stupid vase for the stupid flowers. "I told him not to do this."

"Yeah, bad idea. Telling Dean not to do something is pretty much the equivalent of challenging him to a duel."

There's a dusty vase beneath the sink. Castiel takes it out and fills it with water, not bothering to clean it first. When it's filled enough for the flowers to survive - because Castiel isn't a monster, he's not going to purposely kill beautiful flowers - he stuffs the bouquet into the vase.

"There." He sets the vase on his kitchen island and breathes a sigh of relief. "At least it's over now. Right?"

Benny snorts. "Dude, it's 8 AM. There's no way that's all he has planned for the day."

"You work for me, ya know," Castiel says in a voice that's supposed to be threatening but isn't. "You have to take my side."

"I'm your bodyguard. I keep you safe from bullets and kidnappers. Not overbearing lovers."

Castiel sighs in frustration. He pulls out his phone and very aggressively types in Dean Winchester's number.

Dean answers almost instantly. Clearly, he had been waiting for this call.

"Hey, C-"

"This stupid romantic nonsense is a waste of money and I swear Dean Winchester if you get me any more presents today I'm going to break up with your stupid ass!"

"So you got the flowers," Dean says with a smile in his voice. "Good. You should get ready for work, my love. Don't want to be late."

"Don't ignore me, Dean! You promised. You promised not to do this!"

"No. You ordered me not to do this. I never agreed."

"Dean-"

"Have a nice day, babe. I'm sure I'll be hearing from you soon."

"Dean!"

"Oh, and Cas?"

Castiel grits his teeth, fuming. "What?"

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Castiel growls - yes, growls - and hangs up. He throws his hands in the air and turns to Benny. "What a jerk!"

----

When Castiel stops at his favorite coffee shop for his usual morning Americano with cinnamon, the barista already has his order ready. It has a message written on it in Dean's hand writing, black sharpie scrawling its way across the disposable cup.

You are so brew tiful. I love you like I love my coffee - inside me (;

Castiel rolls his eyes. "What a jerk."

"Sorry?" the barista says in confusion.

"He's a jerk." Castiel grabs a disposable cup from the stack beside the register. He pops the top off the one Dean wrote on and pours his coffee into the fresh, non-Valentine cup. Then he tosses the graffitied cup and nods at the barista. "Have a good one."

"Uh… yeah." The barista watches him go, looking crestfallen. Clearly she had found it romantic. Disgusting. "You too."

----

Another bouquet of flowers is waiting for Castiel when he enters his private office. He glares at it from the doorway for a long moment before huffing in annoyance, going over and grabbing the damn thing. Still dressed in his trench coat, still with his briefcase in his left hand, Castiel walks down to the bull-pen and lifts the vase in the air.

"Who fucked up today and needs a Valentine's Day present for their significant other?" he yells, his anger making most of his employees shiver or tense up.

It takes a second but then a woman in the back tentatively raises her hand. Charlie. She's dating Dorothy from accounting. They're a cute couple.

"They're yours," he announces, thrusting them out in the air to silently tell her to come get them.

Blushing, she makes her way to Castiel. She mumbles something about not forgetting but running out of time this morning. Castiel couldn't care less whether Charlie forgot or not. He just doesn't want to stare at the damn flowers all day.

Once they're out of his hands, Castiel waves a hand in the air and says, "As you were."

Benny is smirking when Castiel gets back to his office.

"What's so funny?" Castiel asks in a voice that's supposed to be threatening but just makes Benny's lips lift higher. "What?"

"I'm assuming you didn't see the box of chocolates."

Castiel parts his lips, about to ask what Benny means, when he sees a heart-shaped box beside where the flowers had been. He deflates. Goes over to his chair. Slumps down. Sighs dramatically. Then he takes the box and reads the attached note.

Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. - damn glad I got you, babe ♡

"What a jerk," Castiel growls at the box. He rips the lid off and snatches a piece of chocolate before pushing it toward Benny. "Stop fucking smiling and eat. And don't tell him I ate any of it. That asshole knows I can't resist chocolate so you have to lie."

"Sure thing boss," Benny says with a wink. "Sure thing."

----

"Are you Castiel?" a man dressed in a cupid costume asks.

Castiel shakes his head. "Nope."

Unfortunately, he's in the breakroom at work and his employees think this whole battle between Dean and him is hilarious. Balthazar says, "He's lying" at the same time Chuck says, "He's Castiel."

Castiel decides he's going to fire them both.

The cupid smirks and turns to Castiel. Castiel puts a hand up in protest. "Whatever it is, I don't want-"

"Lord Almighty,

I feel my temperature rising

Higher higher

It's burning through to my soul

Boy, boy, boy,

You gonna set me on fire

My brain is flaming

I don't know which way to go

Your kisses lift me higher

Like the sweet song of a choir

You light my morning sky

With burning love"

"Nope," Castiel mumbles under his breath, grabbing his lunch and heading out the door. "Nope, nope, nope."

The damn telegram follows him. Everyone in the office stares, their jaws dropped open as the goddamn CEO is followed around by a glittery man dressed as cupid singing an Elvis song. Castiel isn't even embarrassed. He's just pissed.

Castiel enters his office and shoots a glare at Benny who had conveniently been gone to the bathroom when this all went down but is now back at his rightful place by Castiel's side. "Make him leave."

"It's coming closer

The flames are now lickin' my body

Please won't you help me-"

"Why? He isn't a threat."

"He has a weapon!"

"It's a plastic bow, boss."

"And my chest is a-heaving

Lord Almighty

I'm burning a hole where I lay."

"I own this goddamn building and I'm telling you, head of my security, to kick him out!"

Benny gives him a wry smile. "I'll get right on it, boss. Highest priority."

"Cause your kisses lift me higher

Like the sweet song of a choir-"

"You're fired."

"Oh, well, in that case I suppose he'll get to stay."

"Ah, ah, burning love

I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love."

Castiel grabs his office phone and presses 7, gritting his teeth. With every ring that passes, his rage boils. He's a breath away from exploding.

"Singer's Auto, this is Dean."

Castiel slams a finger down on speaker phone and turns to glare at cupid as he finishes the damn song.

"Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love."

Finally, it's over. Cupid winks at him before leaving. Benny smirks. Dean - the jerk that he is - is laughing hysterically on the other line.

"I hate you," Castiel states very matter-of-factly.

"Oh come on!" Dean snorts a laugh. "It's Elvis! You love Elvis!"

"Not anymore! Congratulations, Winchester. You have officially ruined Elvis for me."

Dean laughs harder. "God, I love you babe."

"Gaaaah, no!" Castiel hangs up the call before Dean can use his mystical powers to sweet talk Castiel into forgiving him. It ain't happening.

Castiel bangs his forehead against his desk a few times before deflating against it. "What a jerk."

----

Castiel walks into the first jewelry store he comes across. He storms past all of the stupid Valentine's decorations and up to a young man in a sharp suit who is smiling far too wide if you ask Castiel's opinion. Castiel smacks the palm of his hand on the glass display in front of the man and growls, "I need a goddamn engagement ring."

----

A ring box heavy in his pocket, Castiel stands outside Dean's small two-bedroom house. The yellow paint is peeling back in places, revealing the blue beneath. They come from two completely different worlds. Dean, the eldest son who sacrificed everything he had to raise his baby brother, dropping out of high school, working two jobs, scraping his father off whatever bar floor or sidewalk he ended up on most nights. Castiel, the eldest son who had the world handed to him, private prep school, undergrad at an Ivy league, two master degrees, no student loan debt, a $100,000 no-strings gift from his father to start up his own company.

Dean lives in a house that was foreclosed and rotting on the inside. He’s owned it for three years now. The floors and roof have been replaced. The staircase rebuilt. The walls repainted. The kitchen remodeled. The bathroom gutted. All Dean’s doing since he couldn’t afford to hire contractors.

Castiel lives in a penthouse apartment in a building that’s only seven years old. He got to pick in a catalogue what model of every room he preferred. Professionals molded his home into exactly what he wanted it to be in two weeks, handing it to him furnished and beautiful.

Dean works 60 hour weeks at his uncle’s auto shop, always smelling of oil and sweat. He drinks Jack Daniels. Listens to classic rock. Wears stained jeans and cotton shirts so worn they have holes in the collars and become see-through in certain lighting.

Castiel works 80 hour weeks, but only 30 of them are spent in the office, the rest spent on his phone or at his home so he can lounge on his couch and peruse documents without worrying about employees bothering him. He’s currently working through a bottle of 1926 Macallan. He listens to classical music, as well as plays it himself on his own grand piano that overlooks the city. Wears tailored Brioni suits and silk ties to work, settling for Gucci denim pants and cashmere sweaters when he's casual.

They should have never even met. Castiel would never take his car to a low-grade dealership like Singers. Never. You just don’t do that. Castiel was sure they wouldn’t even know what to do with a custom built Tesla like his. Yet, there Castiel was, broken down outside of the city with a migraine the size of Texas and stubborn impatience that made waiting for the professionals from the dealership that would take 3 hours a choice he wasn’t willing to make. So, he typed in auto shops on google and picked the one nearest to him.

Singers Auto.

Dean had showed up all southern drawl and warm smiles. Flirted right past Castiel’s foul mood. Stroked the hood of his Tesla like it was a cherished pet. Spoke to Castiel confidently about his knowledge on the vehicle. He offered to tow it into the city for Castiel if Castiel wanted but assured Castiel that if he chose to let Dean bring it to Singer's Auto, Dean would be able to take care of it.

“Easy fix,” Dean had said. “In and out. Twenty minutes.”

Castiel had agreed. It was completely out of character but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted more time with the mechanic.

He left that day with a fixed car and Dean Winchester’s number.

They never once brought up the salary gap between them. Some nights they’d crash at Castiel’s. Some nights at Dean’s. They’d go to five-star restaurants and gorge on filet mignon and lobster. They’d go to McDonalds and demolish burgers and chocolate milkshakes. Neither of them so much as blink.

Castiel smiles to himself as he looks at the house again. Where will they live? Castiel could care less, if he’s being honest. He’ll move here if Dean wants. He can deal with the furnace that needs to be kicked every few days as a reminder to work again. He can deal with the pipes that always freeze in the winter. He can deal with the way the fifth step creaks because Dean messed up when building the staircase. As long as he has Dean Winchester, he has everything.

“The hell you doin’ out here?” Dean yells from the front porch, snapping Castiel from his thoughts.

The ring box in his pocket grows hot in anticipation.

“It’s Valentine’s Day!” Castiel yells back, casually walking across the street from where he parked. “I figured if you’re going to insist on celebrating the idiotic holiday, I might as well win by outdoing you.”

“Oh, really?” Dean huffs a laugh, taking the porch steps two at a time until he’s on the grass of his front lawn. “How do you expect to do that?”

Castiel stops when he’s on the sidewalk, about five or so feet between them. He gives Dean a cocky grin that makes Dean’s smirk fall just an inch. Dean Winchester doesn’t like to lose at things - especially all of these silly competitions they get themselves into.

How long can they go without having sex or masturbating, and who will break first and beg the other to fuck him?

Who can eat the most pie in one sitting?

Which one can buy the best Christmas gift?

Who can win the most tickets at the arcade?

How long can they keep their prank war going, and who will be the one to finally throw in the towel when it goes too far?

Who can scare the other badly enough to make them scream?

Which one of them will win the cheesy romantic award of Valentine’s Day 2020.

Castiel won the 1st, 3rd, and 6th.

Dean won the 2nd and 4th.

Neither have won the prank war bet - it’s still on-going.

But Castiel Novak is going to win this damn Valentine’s Day award. If Dean wants to play this game today, it’s on.

“Cas-”

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel says softly, in a voice sickly sweet and loving. He lowers himself to one knee and reaches into his pocket.

Dean’s eyes flare with rage. “No! Don’t you dare!”

“You’re the love of my life-”

“Stop!”

“I can’t imagine any possible future that doesn’t have you in it-”

“I hate you so much right now,” Dean chokes out, eyes welling up.

Castiel smirks and opens the ring box. “Will you marry me?”

“No,” Dean grumbles with a pouty look on his face. Then he growls low in his throat and shakes his arms like a toddler on the verge of a tantrum. “Fuck - fine! Yes. I’ll marry you.”

Grinning, partly because the love of his life just agreed to marry him but mostly because instead of Dean evening the score Castiel is now 2 points ahead, Castiel pushes to his feet and slips the ring on Dean’s finger. He tugs Dean into his arms and kisses him breathless.

“Proposed to me on Valentine’s Day,” Dean says with an incredulous huff, resting his head on Castiel's shoulder and hugging him. “What a jerk.”

If you enjoyed this, please consider supporting my starving artist bum by donating at my Ko-Fi or becoming a Patron <3 Everything helps!

#fluff #destiel #dean winchester #castiel novak #valentines day #hopeless romantic dean #cas hates valentines day #arguing #this is war #valentines day war #benny #ceo cas #mechanic dean #cute #romantic gestures

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carl-grimxz · 4 years

Text

Confused Feelings- Part 7

Carl Grimes x Reader

Part 7

Summary: Finally Y/N and Carl are together. Now they are able to be happy and in love. Woohoo we love happy endings.

Word Count: 2,581

Warnings: Slight smut... ;)

A/N: I’m so sorry this has take me so long to get out!!! This is the final part though and I hope you have enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it. This is literally the first time I have written anything but I’ve been missing Carl sooo much since he’s been gone and needed to keep him alive somehow. I’m open to requests if anyone has any ideas for any other Carl imagines!!!! Please enjoy and thank you to everyone who has been reading xxx

It took us a while before we were actually ready to go and read comics together. Unbeknownst to us the adults in our lives had other plans. Rick wanted Carl to help out with the reinforcement of our security measures. Making and putting up sharp sticks on the other side of the fences to stop the walkers coming in again was the top priority. Then there was Sasha. She wanted me to help her and a few others get the house in better shape. Make it more ‘liveable’ you know.

Anyway this put Carl and I’s plan to hang out on hold for most of the day. I was pretty pissed about it and he seemed to be feeling the same way. I overheard Rick tell him ‘Y/N isn’t going anywhere’ in a whisper, when Carl was trying to get out of helping him.

It was cute that he was fighting to spend time with me.

Eventually we both caved and agreed to do our bit to help out, then we’d have the entire remainder of the day to do whatever.

“Ok! That’s about it I think.” Sasha announced after having finished gathering all the spare weapons into one makeshift armoury in the study. We had been working non-stop for like 4 hours

“About time” I replied, relieved. I am exhausted.

“I know I know”, she laughed. “You’ve got places to go, boys in sheriff hats to see”. The look on her face was as smug as I’ve ever seen it.

I sighed, but laughed along with her. “Hey you’re the one that was all for this” I raised a brow at her and put my hands on my hips.

“Ummhmm. Go on you’re free to go”

“Thanks, Sasha” I grinned, already on my way out the door.

“Have fun” She let out a laugh.

I immediately left the room and went out into the main living area, assuming that if Carl is done with his chores then that’s where he’ll be. On a quick glance around I saw Carol and Michonne sat having a chat but no Carl.

He’s probably still helping Rick so I move to the windows to see if I can spot him outside. Sure enough, there he is. He seems to be using a knife to sharpen long pieces of wood for the barrier to the fences with his dad.

I decide to go out and see how they’re doing.

They both see me coming and Carls face lights up as we lock eyes.

“Need any help?”

Rick gives me a smile and shakes his head. “Nah we’ll start packing up for the day soon” I nod my head in response. “Why don’t you two go hang out, take a look at those comics you’re dyin’ to read” he looks directly at Carl and continues, “Although I’m sure it’s not the comics that’s your main concern”.

“Dad.” Carl became embarrassed and stood up to leave. “Coming?”, he asked stopping next to me.

“Yeah” I laughed at his desperation to get away from his dad. “Thanks Rick” I added as we began to walk back towards the house.

“Yep”, he said, sounding pleased with himself.

Carl lead me up to his room and shut the door behind us.

“How was it out there?” I ask wondering if his day has dragged as much as mine has.

“Boring. You?” He muttered while taking a seat on his bed.

“Same.”

“Well… I guess now we’re free to do whatever we want.”

I let out a content sigh while moving towards him.

“Yeah” I agreed, sitting opposite him with my legs crossed. “So… comics?” I chuckled a little.

Carl laughed too, and went across to his backpack, getting a few out and bringing them back over. He came next to me this time, laying down on his stomach. He spread the selection out in front of us.

“Which one first?”

“Ummm” I thought about it while eyeing them up. “Spiderman, for sure”

“Good choice” He smiled up at me, and opened it up.

We had been reading the comics together in comfortable silence for a while, both now laying on our stomachs, when I felt Carls eyes on me. He keeps glancing at me every now and then. It makes me a little nervous.

I turn my head towards him and we make eye contact for only a split second before he looks straight back at the comic. I smile to myself.

“What?” I ask curiously.

“Huh” He looks back at me.

“You were staring”.

“Was I?”

“Carl.” I said leaning up on my hands, to get a better look at him.

“I was just thinking…” He said looking at the comic still, and then back at me. “You’re really pretty.”

I looked at him blankly, kind of speechless to be honest. I’ve never been called pretty before. I mean I know he likes me but, for some reason I didn’t think he thought about that.

“You are” he uttered, after he didn’t get a response.

I smile tenderly at the boy, thinking how lucky I am to be here with him.

He smiled too, looking straight into my eyes with his beautiful blue ones.

I only now notice how close he is to me. Ever so subtly glancing to and from my lips. I can feel his hot breath on them.

He leans in and closes the gap between us. His soft lips melt into mine, slowly at first and then something inside of me makes my hips roll closer to him. Almost like it’s an automatic response. At this he grips me harder, hands travelling up my back and round to my hips. We makeout much more intensely than our first couple of kisses. It’s like I can’t get enough of him. Carl turns slightly so that I’m underneath him, all while our lips still move in sync. I cup his face and his own hands move up to my chest caressing me gently.

I have never really thought about the thing that is bound to come next. Not until this very moment anyway. I want to. I want to share everything I have with him. It takes everything within me to stop myself from going all the way with him right now, but we can’t. Not right now when anyone could walk in.

I lean away ever so slightly and Carl stops.

“Sorry” He says out of breath. Bless his sweet heart.

“No, it’s ok.” I say, not meaning to make him feel bad. I lean up on to my elbows and Carl rolls off of me looking embarrassed.

“It’s just…” I don’t know how to say it. He might not even be ready to go all the way, but it felt like that’s where this was heading so I should say something.

Carl looks at me curiously. Clearly worrying over what I’m going to say.

“I want to… you know” It came out as a half question and when my eyes meet his own his eyebrows raise in realisation and I know that he knows what I’m referring to.

“We can’t though. Not now… anyone could come in” I explain feeling awkward.

“But you want to? I mean… you’re ready?” He holds my hand gently.

I nod my head.

“Are you?” I ask quietly.

He too nods his head at me.

I can’t help but smile shyly at him.

Carl turns his head back to the door in thought, and then back to me.

“Tonight. Once everyone is asleep. Come back then?” I’ve never seen him so decisive. It makes me want to even more.

“Ok” I bite my lip ever so slightly and kiss him once again. After a second I pull away and stand up off of the bed, grinning at him and then turning towards the door.

The next thing I know, Carl has got up after me and whipped me round towards him again as I’m about to leave. He gives me a look of pure lust and places his lips on mine once more. I let out a giggle and peck his cheek before I open the door.

“See you later” I smirk, and with that I’m out in the hall excited to be back in that room tonight.

We all ate together as usual a couple of hours later and I could definitely tell that something had shifted between Carl and I. It was a sort of tension… but the good kind. It felt like all of a sudden I saw him differently. I wanted to rip his clothes off ever since our makeup session earlier. What has come over me?

I’ve never felt this way before, not that I’m aware of anyway. All I know is that I love this boy and that I’m ready.

Slowly, everyone started going up to bed and after saying my goodnights I went up too.

I make eye contact with Carl and nudge my head towards the hallway to get him to follow me. He got the hint and once we were out the door I pulled him by his t-shirt out of sight even more. He smirked at my assertiveness.

“I’ll head up to my room…” I smiled, looking into his eyes seductively. “Once I know everyone is asleep… I’ll sneak over”

“Ok” is all Carl said, while staring deeply down at me. That’s all he needed to say. The look on his face did all of the talking, and I can tell that he wants this as much as I do.

He placed a sweet kiss to my forehead and turned to join the last few people remaining downstairs.

I was left with goosebumps. All I want is to be with him. Always. Tonight will be a long time coming.

I waited patiently in my room, checking every now and then for signs that anyone was still awake.

After around an hour I decided that everyone must be asleep by now and I moved to the mirror to check that I looked ok for the last time.

I sighed looking at my appearance. I’m nervous. But I know that I want this with Carl. I want him.

After fussing over my hair and if I’m honest, stalling I leave my room trying my hardest to stay silent and creep over to Carls room.

My hand lingers over the doorknob, trying to prepare myself.

After a moment, I gather all of my nerve and open the door, going inside.

Carl is sat on his bed, presumably reading one of the comics that we hadn’t managed to finish earlier.

He nervously stood up, placing the comic on his bedside table and made his way towards me slowly.

“Hey” I whispered nervously.

“Everyone asleep?”

“Think so” I nod, stepping closer to him and close the distance between us.

He nods slowly in thought. “You sure you want to do this?”

“I’ve never been so sure of anything Carl”

He chuckles slightly and looks directly into my eyes.

With a look of pure lust he speaks again, “Me either”.

With that, I lean up and bring his lips down onto mine.

Very quickly Carls hands were all over me. We could barely get enough of each other.

My hands run down his chest to the bottom of his t-shirt and I begin to tug at it, wanting it off. He breaks away from me, grabbing it himself and pulls it up and over his head, throwing off into the corner of the room.

I’ve never seen his chest before but he actually has a very lean and toned torso, making me want him even more.

I take off my own shirt, as he takes off his jeans and Carl looks at me with wonder in his wide eyes. I’m stood in my bra and jeans and subconsciously cover my stomach with my arms nervously as he takes in my appearance.

Carl grabs my hands, pulling them down as he begins kissing me again.

“You’re so beautiful” He says and it sends chills all over my body.

He moves his hands all over, caressing me gently and rests them at the button of my jeans.

“Can I?” He asks, eager to go further.

I nod, smiling and Carl goes back to unbuttoning my jeans, while kissing me passionately. Her pulls them down and I step out of them. We’re both now left in just our underwear.

Carls arms reach behind me, bringing me closer and walks us back to the bed behind him. We fall clumsily down and I lay on top of him. My lips are still on his and my hips begin to grind down onto his noticeably going bulge. His hands stroke my back for a moment before beginning to unfasten my bra. Her does so surprisingly quickly and pulls it down my arms.

While Carl takes in my form I take the opportunity to drag the comforter over the two of us.

I then meet his soft lips with my own again and feel his hands come up to my breasts and he starts massaging them. It feels so good and I grind down onto him even more.

Carl flips me over quickly and is now on top, sucking at my neck. After a few moments I tug at his long hair between my fingers, and pull his lips back up to mine. My hands fall to the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down. Carl rises up from me a little and removes them before moving his hands to my panties and slides them off. His eyes look me over with lust as he takes in the sight of me naked in front of him for the first time. He settles his hips between my thighs.

“Ready?”

I let out a shaky breath and nod.

Carl positions himself and eases himself inside me carefully. I can tell he’s nervous too.

Carl practically whimpers with pleasure as he slides himself inside me slowly, pausing so that I can adjust to the feeling. I was expecting it to hurt but it isn’t actually that bad. I move my hips up, signalling to him that I’m ok. More than ok.

I moan a little, scratching his back in bliss.

“Y/N” He moans back to me, clearly enjoying this too.

I wrap my legs around his waist, to pull him deeper and can slowly begin to feel something building up within me. Carl started thrusting a little harder and faster and before long I’m arching my back up in euphoria.

“Oh my god” He gasps, as he finishes and we ride out our highs.

He kisses me with all of the emotion in the world and slumps down beside me. We take a moment to catch our breaths.

“I love you so much Y/N” He says, his arm going underneath me in an embrace.

“I love you Carl… more than anything.”

That was better than anything I have ever experienced. In this moment I know that I am going to do anything it takes to live a long and happy life with him. This world is tough but with Carl… I feel like we can get through whatever is thrown our way. To think only a couple of days ago my feelings were as confused as they could possibly get. Now things couldn’t be clearer…

Carl Grimes always has been and will always be the love of my life.

#carl grimes #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes fanfiction #carl grimes one shot #carl grimes x reader #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead #twd imagine #twd #carl

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camillemontespan · 4 years

Text

oblivion [M! raleigh carrera] [part seven: lose yourself]

@emichelle @ritachacha @ibldw-main @omgjasminesimone @msjpuddleduck @katedrakeohd @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @dailydoseofchoices @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7

Warnings: NSFW. Mention of drug use. Master List

Marina slept for twelve hours after playing another video game with Raleigh. She had been exhausted; her eyes were shadowed and her body felt heavy and bone tired. Raleigh let her sleep, knowing she needed her rest. While she was safe under her blankets, Raleigh looked up therapists in Michigan.

He accepted now that Marina needed more help. It wasn’t enough for Raleigh to take her out of Los Angeles, out of her drug induced, champagne bubbled, drug addled bubble. He had taken her away from the place where she would be tempted but she was still the same girl with the same problems. Asking her to go cold turkey was too much; Raleigh could see that now. Marina needed professional help.

Raleigh stayed up until 2am with his laptop open as he browsed for the therapist he could find. Rehab hadn’t worked for Marina; she had been a patient twice. But maybe a safe space where she could talk to a therapist about her issues and then retreat to Raleigh’s mom’s place would help?

Overset with tiredness, Raleigh shut his laptop and rested his head in his hands. He needed to make this right. He had failed her before and he wouldn’t do it again. Right now, his only priority was getting Marina back to the person she was; or even if that wasn’t possible, he would try to bring hope and light back into her life when all she had known for so long was endless darkness.

*********************************

Raleigh arranged for Marina to attend a private therapy session. One to one with the therapist, Dr. Henderson, signing an NDA.

On Monday morning, Raleigh supported Marina as she got herself dressed for the therapy session. ‘Is this okay?’ she asked, giving him a weak twirl. She was wearing a blue and white fluffy sweater paired with blue ripped jeans and Converse.

Raleigh thought she looked ridiculously cute and he really wanted to give her a hug.

‘You look awesome,’ he told her simply. ‘You ready for this?’

Marina nodded mutely. ‘Nervous,’ she said. ‘But that’s understandable. I guess I just hope this therapist won’t tell the press about all my secrets ha!’ She forced the laugh out but Raleigh knew she wasn’t joking.

‘She’s signed an NDA,’ Raleigh assured her. ‘She’s a professional anyway, Mari. She wants to help. It’s her job.’

Marina nodded, processing his words. Raleigh smiled softly and moved towards her to take her hands.

‘I’ll be out in the waiting room,’ he whispered. ‘If it gets too much, I’ll be right outside.’

‘Guys, you ready to go?’ Raleigh’s mom called up the stairs. ‘Car’s ready!’

Raleigh took Marina’s hand and led her down the stairs to the car, making sure to bundle on scarves so no prying neighbours would see them. Marina’s privacy had been non-existent in LA; Raleigh wasn’t having a repeat of it again.

****************************************

The therapist’s office was empty, thank God. Marina could breathe easy that nobody would see her and recognise who she was. She was taken into the room immediately, leaving Raleigh in the waiting room.

His eyes found the stack of magazines before he could tear his gaze away. Tabloids emblazoned with Marina’s image. Pictures of her looking worse for wear, like she was barely surviving in this dog eat dog world.

Raleigh quickly picked up the magazines and shoved them in the trash can.

**************************************

Marina played with the hem of her sweater as she sat in awkward silence. Dr Henderson was sat opposite her with her legs crossed and a notepad on her lap, pen poised. She was wearing cat eye shaped spectacles and her dark hair was pulled up into a neat ponytail. She looked friendly.

‘This is just a get to know you session’, Dr Henderson said gently. ‘Nothing too scary. Would you like some water?’

Marina took the glass of water and sipped the drink, her hands shaking as she did so.

‘I’m here to help you,’ the therapist told her in a low voice. ‘There is no judgment here. This is a safe space-’

‘Because you signed the NDA,’ Marina interrupted, her voice startling even her.

The therapist smiled. ‘Yes, I did. But it would still be a safe space even if I hadn’t signed. Do you think I will tell everyone the confidential information you’ll give me?’

Marina shrugged. ‘No. You’re a professional,’ she said quietly, repeating what Raleigh had told her. ‘It’s your job.’

Her tone was reluctant, which the therapist noted.

‘Do you find it hard to trust people?’

Marina bit her lip. ‘No..’

‘Yet you think I will tell everyone everything that you say in this room?’

‘I’ve trusted people in the past and they have always thrown it back in my face,’ Marina told her. ‘I trusted people too easily and they took advantage.’

‘In what way?’

The words flooded out of Marina before she could stop them.

‘Like we would go out to a bar and I would be the one left to pay the $500 bill. Or I would tell them I was seeing a guy and the next day, the papers would be talking about it. Or I had friends ask me for loans of money to keep themselves afloat, I couldn’t say no, but in the end, they would use that cash on drugs or alcohol.’

Marina looked down at her hands. ‘I’ve been chewed up and spat back out.’

The therapist made a note on her pad. ‘Your friend outside,’ she said. ‘Raleigh. Do you want to talk about him?’

Marina blushed. The therapist smiled. ‘Boyfriend?’

‘Something like that,’ Marina replied softly. ‘It’s complicated.’

‘How?’

‘We were bad for each other,’ Marina said. ‘But in the end, he is the one who is by my side when nobody else is. Everyone shows their true colours in the end; Raleigh has shown his.’

***************************************

An hour later, Marina came out of the therapists room. Raleigh stood up and gave her a smile; Marina smiled back, to his relief.

‘I’m seeing her again next week,’ Marina told him. ‘That was just a get to know you session.’

Raleigh wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss on top of her head. ‘I’m proud of you,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘So fucking proud of you.’

They left the office together and back into Raleigh’s mom’s car. She had bought McDonalds as a treat and laughed as Raleigh and Marina tore into the brown paper bags.

‘It’s like you’re kids again!’ she laughed, shaking her head. ‘God, I should have got you Happy Meals!’

‘Happy Meals are fucking legit!’ Raleigh hollered with his mouth open.

Marina giggled and sank her teeth into the burger. She hadn’t had McDonalds in years. Ever since she became famous, fast food was off the menu and replaced by protein shakes, Diet Coke and salad. As she swallowed the burger and made quick work of the fries, she realised that for the first time in what felt like forever, she was enjoying a meal.

‘Jesus, ma, can we get some more?’ Raleigh asked after he finished his burger and screwed the paper bag into a ball. ‘I got money, I can buy us a truckload of McDonalds.’

‘Ooh and maybe a milkshake?’ Marina joked.

Raleigh looked at her, his mouth quirking up in the corner. ‘Yeah and a milkshake,’ he said.

His mom shrugged. ‘If you want to get fat on McDonalds with your hard earned money, babe, by all means, be my guest.’

Raleigh let out a whoop. ‘Let’s go back!’

So that afternoon, Raleigh ordered two Happy Meals - who cared that they were adults?- and a milkshake. He gave Marina the milkshake, winking at her as he did so,and she sipped the thick strawberry milk, feeling lighter than air.

*****************************************

That night, Marina lay on the bed wearing one of Raleigh’s white vests and black lace underwear. Her dark hair was spilled out across the pillow and she was looking up at the ceiling as she listened to Raleigh singing under his breath.

He was lying on his front beside her with a journal in front of him. He was working on new lyrics, his writing an illegible mess of spidering words and crossing out. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he wrote and scored out, occasionally stopping to sing softly so he could test out his progress.

‘What’s the song about?’ Marina asked, reaching out to stroke a lock of his hair through her finger.

Raleigh bit his lip. ‘I can’t get it right..’

‘What’s it about?’ she repeated.

His eyes found hers. ‘You,’ he said softly.

Marina sat up in surprise. Raleigh looked sheepish.

‘You’re writing about me?’ she asked, her eyes wide. ‘Me?’

‘Yeah…’ Raleigh admitted. ‘It’s not the first time.’

Marina blushed. There had always been rumours that his songs had been about her; Raleigh had never confirmed nor denied it. But now, she could see that it was true.

‘What do you want to say about me?’ she asked.

‘Just how strong you are, how I lose myself when I’m with you,’ Raleigh said, looking down to pick at his fingernails. ‘I forget everything when I’m with you. Always have. Nothing matters in the world when we’re together.’

Marina could feel her heart beginning to beat a little bit faster. This was the Raleigh she knew that nobody else did. The Raleigh who was open and vulnerable; the Raleigh she had fallen in love with.

‘I’m a mess,’ Marina said. ‘I bring you down-’

‘No you don’t,’ Raleigh cut in fiercely. ‘You are incredible. You are beautiful and strong with the most gorgeous soul-’

‘I am a trainwreck,’ Marina told him. ‘Disaster.’

‘So am I,’ Raleigh replied softly. ‘I’m not perfect either. Nobody is.’

Marina watched him as he abandoned his journal and crawled over the bed to her. She closed her eyes as his lips brushed against her cheek, trailing down to her jawline, to the collar bone, before kissing her chest.

‘Raleigh..’ she whispered.

‘But you’re mine,’ he murmured, his warm breath tickling her skin. His fingers reached to pull up the vest she was wearing so he could gently kiss her stomach. His lips blazed a trail down her skin, brushing against the waistband of her lace boy shorts, making her jolt.

Raleigh looked up at her with dark, hungry eyes. Marina smiled and reached for him; Raleigh’s hands caressed the back of her head as their lips met in an urgent, desperate kiss.

Marina pulled off her vest and reached down to pull down her underwear. Raleigh discarded his clothes too before he stopped to study her. Slowly, his hands ran down her body, gently stroking her skin as he did so.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked impatiently. She really wanted him, right now.

‘I’m losing myself in you,’ he murmured.

He gently pulled her towards him so she settled on his lap; Marina wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tightly. Raleigh bent down to kiss her cleavage, making her gasp his name. His fingers stroked her inner thigh before finding her centre.

Marina’s head fell into the crook of his neck. ‘Oh god..’

‘You are beautiful,’ Raleigh whispered, his fingers stroking her. ‘You are strong and powerful. You are the most amazing woman and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.’

‘Raleigh-’

She let out a cry as she felt him enter her. He filled her entirely, making her body jerk from the impact. Marina moved her hips against his, pulling a low groan from Raleigh’s throat. His hands gripped her hips as they gathered pace.

‘You make me happy,’ Raleigh breathed in her ear. ‘You make me laugh.’

‘You- you make me happy too,’ Marina whispered, her breath catching. She kissed him hard, sinking into his taste of tobacco and burnt sugar.

‘You’re my Marina,’ Raleigh groaned, increasing the pace. ‘Mine.’

‘But if you leave-’

‘I’m not fucking leaving you ever again,’ Raleigh interrupted, kissing her fiercely. His eyes were black now; black and wild. ‘You’ll always have me. I promise.’

No more words were needed after that. Raleigh and Marina lost themselves in each other.

#raleigh x marina

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thatonebirbnerd · 4 years

Text

I’ll Come Back Stronger

Word count: 1258

Trigger warnings: Swearing, body horror, mind control, non-detailed violence

You know how I am with Mordrem. I’ve had this one written for a while. Figured I should post it.

AO3 link

Just my fucking luck.

I spend years running from the shackles I spent my Dream in, and as utterly poppycock as all that is, I wind up in them anyway.

My coat is in shreds, and faded badly by sunlight. Kind of a shame, considering it’s got so many trophies on it, but oh well. That’s not the primary issue at hand, obviously. The actual primary issue is that I’m pinned to a damn cliff face. Got grabbed by vines, like a rabbit or something getting snatched up by one of the local dinosaurs, and now I’m here. There’s some kind of pod dangling near me. It glows with magic in every color imaginable, but the thing itself is a sickly yellow-green.

I thought I was done growing once I got to the jungle, once my bark faded to a sickly pinkish white from its former brilliant rose, and started thickening into tough plates. I was wrong. I’m not used to this; I’m usually right.

My head hurts. It’s hard to think. There’s only a crushing presence telling me to obey its every whim. Shitty bargain, having an elder dragon for a grandfather.

Something’s… happening. The headache’s… getting worse. I could tell I was growing on the way here, but… this is different. I can see - and feel - the bark of my legs contorting and swelling. Little tendrils push their way out. I realize I’m trying to kick at the binds around them, which loosen to make way for whatever the hell just came out of me, and then everything’s hazy…

You will let me in.

Shut up, Mordremoth.

---

How long was I out? Not much sunlight down here to be able to tell, but after looking down at myself, I think it’s been a few days.

I haven’t eaten at all, that’s for certain; my stomach’s even more of a yawning pit than it was when the jungle dragon fueled my journey here. I feel like I shouldn’t be this thin, this empty.

Insides. Half vestigial. Half now unnecessary.

Be fucking quiet, grandpa.

My bark clings to my legs. There’s no way it’s been weeks, is there? No, nothing else about my body changed. But I try to move, and my bark tears, even on my growth-swollen calves, spilling rivulets of sap and leaving gaping wounds. The pain is… there’s less than I’d think, somehow. However, I don’t exactly recall myself having red sap. What the…

It’s only now that I realize that my bark is starting to push against my coat, creeping through the slashes left by Nightmare-knows-what. Great. More of me getting all thick and woody. At least this part seems flexible, though considering I’m pinned to a wall, it’s going to be hard to test th-

Speak of the fucking devil. The next thing I know, I’m convulsing in real pain. There’s shards of something pressing their way between the vines around my wrists. By something, I mean bark. It’s like it didn’t have room to grow on me directly after all this shit happened. And I’m not sure where that enormous spike on my arm came out of, but it’s there now. There goes one of my biceps…? Ugh. Priorities. Now, how the hell do I get down?!

Watch and wait.

---

Seconds pass like hours. Hours pass like seconds. It’s not like I can sleep like this, anyway, especially not with a headache that is now constant, and something squirming in my shoulders. Why my shoulders, anyway?

My very first lesson as a member of the Court was not to scream. So I haven’t. And who knows how long it’s been since I’ve eaten. In short, I’m not using my mouth. Something about my face has felt funny for a bit, but not like I can scratch the itch in this state. It’s only now that I realize why: my teeth are growing, forcing their way forward, and it’s to the point where I can’t keep my mouth shut. I can’t breathe through my nose anymore; something’s also grown over that. I must look ridiculous.

Now, what do we say?

…thank you?

---

Ugh, dammit, that’s back again. This time it’s my shoulders that are swelling, thickening unnaturally yet still somehow flexible. So that was why- no, this was why. The growths have erupted into more fucking vines, crawling across my chest and back. Which is exactly what I needed right now.

On second thought, it is exactly what I needed.

I am a grandchild of Mordremoth. I should not have tried to fight destiny.

Now it all makes sense. All will kneel.

As if summoned, another Mordrem Guard - one of my kin - strides past, and cuts me free.

I collapse on the ground, exhausted. And then I feel every emotion at once, as a surge of energy rushes through me, coalescing into an oddly shaped block of white stone that lands in my hands…

Leystone. Use it.

---

In my newly blighted hands, it is a rifle. I always preferred to use knives. That doesn’t matter anymore. Its power courses through my body, leaking from my bark in strands of blue energy. Whatever the hell it shoots, it’s lethal. It’s beautiful.

Ready. Aim. Fire. For the dragon.

Ready.

Aim.

Fire.

Ready.

Aim-

---

How long have I been here?

The last thing I remember is being chained - vined, really - to that cliff, and then I’m not sure what happened. Whatever I did, though, I can’t say I’m feeling guilty about it. The past is the past. Perhaps I can learn from the experience.

It’s like my ears are ringing, but in my head. My mind rings, with the absence of a voice. Mordremoth’s voice. Is it… dead?

I should go home.

---

“Mordrem at the gate! … It’s just one. Might be a trap.”

“I swear on my miserable life it’s not.”

I’d think it’d be harder for me to talk. I guess I was chatting a lot during… whatever that was. My voice certainly sounds different. I’ll get used to it.

“Not a trap, eh? Well, if it looks like a Mordrem, but thinks like it isn’t…”

“How bad do I look, anyway?”

---

Well, fuck. It hadn’t really sunk in until now. I guess there’s no going back from looking like a corpse. But at least I get a ride home from the Pact.

The harder news is that Duchess Faolain is dead. Apparently, she went Mordrem too. Turned into some fucked-up mockery of a treant - and I thought I had it rough, eh? - then got taken out by the Pact Commander. Who went and finished off the jungle dragon itself after that; typical.

And the most difficult thing to adjust to is that half of Briarthorn followed me into Maguuma, except they were stupid and got themselves killed. When I finally return, it’s a ghost town.

But I have ideas, ways to sway more to our cause. And I know one knight in particular who I’m certain didn’t follow the call. Meaning that he’s waiting for me.

Well, what a sight I’ll be.

---

Fachtna gazes up at me. He didn’t have to look up, before all this happened. He used to dwarf me.

I can see his eyes go wide, under the growth that silenced him for good and brought him under the Court’s sway all those years ago. His muffled breath quickens, and he bows as I place my tendril-wrapped hands on his shoulders.

He’d only do that for me.

“Don’t worry, darling,” I reassure him lovingly. “I’m still the same little flower.”

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #gw2 fanfiction #tyriaslibrary #fanfic #sylvari #mordremvari #kestrel writes #blaithin of sinew

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valentines-in-london · 5 years

Text

I Need Fire (Part 22)

Authors Note: Hello everyone. Oh my gosh I am so sorry for the delay! I haven’t been in a great place mentally and am finally starting to come out of it and get inspired again. I don’t even know if anyone will read this because I’ve been gone so long. And if that’s the case it’s on me and know I truly am so sorry! If this chapter does get any feedback I would greatly appreciate it, I’ve really missed you all<3 Word Count: 4,963 Warnings: smut Taglist: @freddiessmallnipples @triplehaitches @samanthadegaro @lauravic @oh-well1 @la-sorciere-fleur @anxious-diabetic @xdeath-soulx @fanofnightz @songbirdkisses kaitieskidmore1 If you’d like to be added please let me know!

Previous Chapter // Master List // Next Chapter

Chapter 22

Tommy walked into the studio the next day and was abruptly smacked in the chest with a magazine by Doc. "Did you fucking propose?"

"Doc, what?" Tommy asked confused looking down at the magazine in his hand.

IS THE MOTLEY CRUE DRUMMER SETTLING DOWN?

LEARN MORE ABOUT HIS MYSTERY WOMAN INSIDE!

Tommy's eyes went wide, "What the fuck?"

"Exactly, what the fuck. If you're going to do something like that you need to let me know first." Doc said sternly.

"Why should I let you know anything, you're not my fucking dad. I don’t need your permission to do anything outside the fucking band." Tommy spat back.

"I might not be your dad Tommy but I might as well be of this band. And like it or not you're on your way to super stardom, and if one of the pretty boys get engaged it impacts the bands image." Doc replied. Tommy could feel anger rushing through his veins. It was his life he didn't need to answer to fucking anyone about what he did.

"Fuck the bands image, or my image. I'm not a puppet for anyone to control. I'm engaged to Rayne and that's the end of it." Tommy shouted before throwing open the door to the studio.

Three members of the band were ready to record however they were waiting on a certain blonde to make his appearance. Tommy's legs bounced with nervous energy he was pissed at Doc for ambushing him as soon as he walked in and he was pissed at Vince for wasting his time. Tommy, Mick and Nikki had been waiting around for hours.

"Hey Tommy vacuum this mess up." Nikki said sliding a silver plate full of blow over to Tommy. Tommy looked at the plate, the powder tempting him like nothing else. While waiting for Vince to show of course Nikki filled that down time with drugs.

"Nah Sixx I'm okay." Tommy rubbed his sweaty hands along his blue jeans before getting up and standing over the piano. "Where the fuck is Vince? We've been here for almost two hours and we've accomplished jack shit."

"What's with you?" Nikki narrowed his eyes. Tommy went to speak when Vince walked through the door.

"It's about time." Tommy said under his breath.

"Alright I'm here let's get started." Vince said as if he were only minutes late.

"Here Vinny I got some lyrics for you." Nikki said undeterred.

"Home Sweet Home?" Vince asked.

"It's been too long buddy." Tommy could hear Nikki's lack of sincerity bleed through. He watched as Nikki pushed the plate of blow towards Vince. "Have a bump with me."

"I just got out of fuckin jail Nikki." Vince spoke in a biting tone before composing himself and taking the plate from Nikki. Vince snorted the white powder before he starting keeling over, coughing. "What the fuck was that?"

"That was smack." Nikki said non chalantly which made Tommy's neck snap to look at the two of them. He cursed himself at the chuckle that fell from his lips.

"Oh but I'm the fuckin problem?" Vince shouted leaning over the garbage can taking a look at the magazine cover inside. "You're fucking engaged?"

With one sentence everyone in the bands eyes were on Tommy. "Uh yeah. I did it over the holidays. What's the fuckin problem?"

"Well it affects the image of the band Tommy." Nikki said after snorting a line of smack.

"Who gives a fuck about our image dude? I thought it was supposed to be about music?". Tommy started to get pissed again.

"The bad boys of rock no more. And now you won't even do lines with me." Nikki mocked.

"Oh fuck off Nikki. I think the track marks on your arm will keep the image up just fine." Tommy was fuming at this point He was in a band with junkies and alcoholics, himself included, but him being in love was a problem. They could all fuck off as far as he was concerned. He could tell that his words struck a nerve with Nikki. Tommy knew that his friend had progressed onto heroin. Tommy had visited Nikki over the break to find the bass player hunched over in his closet with a lighter and a spoon.

"Hate to break it up boys but Tommy are you ready to start laying your tracks down?" The producer buzzed in.

"With fucking pleasure." Tommy shot up and walked into the booth where his drums were set up. “And for the record, I was ready fucking two hours ago. Maybe in the future we record separately.”

One thing was for sure if this was how the recording process was going to be, this record was going to be a total shit show.

One Month Later

Tommy's instinct was right, the recording of the next album which they were tentatively calling Entertainment or Death was an absolute disaster. The songs were mediocre at best and there was no passion behind it. If the band was a dictatorship and he was in charge he would've scrapped everything and started over. Mick was drinking multiple bottles of vodka a day. Vince was on the down low with his drinking and pill intake. Nikki it goes without saying was the most fucked up out of them all. Heroin was his main priority and the effects it had on him were frightening.

Tommy had kept his promise to Rayne until a few nights ago. He felt like a complete fuck up but he was back to not using. The urges were strong but he knew he couldn't fuck up again. He had decided not to tell Rayne because he knew she'd be crushed and he couldn't do that to her. On top of all that it was finally the night of Stanley's fashion show. Rayne had been a ball of stress the past week and a half, he didn't want to add to that stress. Tonight was all about supporting her, he kept repeating to himself.

Tommy walked into the room where the show would take place, he had never been to a fashion show before so he didn't know exactly what to expect. The room was buzzing with everyone from photographers to journalists to select celebrities. Tommy looked around the room before his eyes landed on a big waterfall of blond hair that belonged to Jo. He made his way over to her, taking the seat beside her.

"Hey Jo." Tommy said glancing down at the bouquet of flowers in her lap. “What are those for?”

"Hey Tommy." Jo smiled. "I wasn't sure you'd make it. I heard Tom was a slave driver in the studio. And they’re for Rayne, it’s such a big deal! It’s her first fashion show."

"Well he is. But regardless nothing was going to keep me from seeing my girls big debut." Tommy smiled wide. The level of pride he felt for Rayne was through the roof. Not only did she apparently inspire Stanley in the first place, she helped him with ideas and themes and helped put this whole thing together. He was blown away by the amount of work she put into it. As he looked around the room everything had Rayne's touch. From the gold and purple lighting to the rich velvet drapes hanging from the ceiling. He couldn’t help himself from beating himself up however by not bringing her a big bouquet of flowers. He had literally come straight from the studio, the band gave him shit for having to cut out for the night. To be honest every guy in the band should’ve been there as far as Tommy was concerned, Rayne had supported them endlessly through the years and she deserved the same.

Tommy watched as a number of photographers began to move toward and line the stage, to say he was happy to have the cameras pointed away from him tonight was an understatement.

Meanwhile backstage Rayne's nerves were coursing through her veins and it was showing through her shaking hands. She sat in a makeup chair while a makeup artist smudged black eyeshadow and liner across her eyelids. At the same time a hair stylist was piling and pinning curls on top of her head to create a dramatic shape, it was vintage but still had a modern touch to it. Once her makeup was done she got up and was quickly put into her first outfit, which the first bunch of the night were structured suits made from different materials such as leather, lace, suede, and pvc. Rayne’s was a lace suit that gave off a nude illusion with high shoulders, a tightly nipped waist and a skirt that flared out just after hugging her hips.

Rayne wished she could truly take in the backstage experience, it was absolutely buzzing! Beautiful models running around everywhere, makeup artists, and hair stylists in tow. The diversity between the models was something Rayne was really proud of. She and Stanley worked tirelessly and really thought outside the box to book different models. Stanley was really passionate about the idea of incorporating drag queens into the show. Stanley had taken Rayne to a drag show one night when Tommy was away and she had an absolute blast. The girls were a total hoot and had curves that even made Rayne jealous, even though Stanley assured her that their curves were not natural. Rayne and Stanley had also booked some older women in their show, because the entire idea behind Stanley’s show was that curves were beautiful and should be embraced no matter someones age or gender. And boy did the clothes look amazing on everyone, she had heard from almost every model how incredible it was to feel good in clothes and not be trying to hide or cover their body shape.

After reminding herself to breathe for the umpteenth time she heard Stanley’s voice which snapped her out of her nervous bubble. “Bella you look stunning!”

“I just hope I don’t fall on stage.” Rayne chuckled looking down at Stanley as she shook the nerves from body.

“You’re going to be flawless, Bella. Remember show your personality and have fun! I love you.” Stanley gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

“I love you too.” Rayne smiled. “Thank you for everything Stanley, this honestly feels like a dream.”

“You’re the reason I’m here Bella. You’ve inspired me, you breathed new life into this fashion house. Now go out and rock it.” Rayne nodded her head looking up as the show director called five minutes and for all models to get into position. Rayne walked toward the backstage runway curtain and the show director. She was the first one out so she stood at the front of the line. Her heart was pounding but as the minutes wound down she slowly became more confident. She heard as the music pounded through the room and the lights went down, there was a little introduction light show and before she knew it Rayne was told to go. She walked out on the runway hitting a pose before she turned to walk down it. Photographers were practically crawling on the sides of the runway, flashbulbs going off constantly. It was an unnatural experience but Rayne kept her head up and legs moving forward with confidence. When Rayne reached the end of the runway she again hit a pose before flashing a smile and shaking her hips causing the bottom of the skirt to flirtatiously shake. The crowd cheered and with a final wink Rayne began her walk back down the runway. Another model began to walk toward Rayne on the runway and she stuck her hand out and the two women high fived. When Rayne reached the backstage area she was quickly whisked away to change into another outfit and get her hair fixed.

The process repeated six more times through the night before they walked the runway as a group in their final looks. The last looks of the night were very dramatic. All the models wore long coats in various color shades with a slit up the center of the coat. Each coat was lined in faux fur that matched each models hair, or wig. Under the coat they wore sheer stockings showing off their legs and high heeled boots to match the color of their hair, wig, jacket and fur. It was a fun playful look. Rayne’s curls were teased and natural, her outfit a beautiful shade of rustic red. She and Stanley were the last ones to walk out on the runway and they did so hand in hand. Everyone in the room was on their feet and clapping for them. Rayne playfully bowed toward Stanley once they reached the end of the runway before Stanley took her hand and kissed it, then covering his heart with his hand and bowing to the packed room.

Rayne was so proud of Stanley and his vision and all of his hard work, it was a beautifully warm reception by his peers. As they walked back into the dressing room everyone began to “de-drag” as the wonderfully funny drag queens called it. And soon they were all back to their normal selves, it was like Superman turning back into Clark Kent. Saying goodbye to everyone Rayne walked out to see her best friend and fiance smiling like nobody's business. Jo handed Rayne a beautiful bouquet of flowers. “Congratulations foxy lady. That was amazing.”

Rayne hugged her best friend tightly before turning to a sheepish looking Tommy. “I didn’t have time to get you flowers.”

“No, thats okay.” Rayne chuckled before lifting onto her tippy toes to hug him and give him a quick kiss on the lips. “Did you guys really like it? I was so nervous it was all a blur!”

“It was so fun! The music was great, the outfits were unbelievable, you all looked incredible! Also did you have men in drag?” Jo asked.

“We did! It was Stanley’s idea. He said that no one is as body positive as a drag queen, and they were a blast to work with!” Rayne happily replied. “Plus some of them were prettier than I could ever hope to be!”

“Now I wouldn’t go that far.” Tommy said wrapping his arm around Rayne’s waist.

“You have to say that, you’re not sleeping with them.” Rayne chuckled giving Tommy a wink.

“Nope, only you get that privilege.”

“Oh christ, get a room you two.” Jo playfully chastised the couple.

The Next Day

Rayne sat at her desk when suddenly a stack of newspapers were thrown in front of her. Stanley stood above her smiling. “Look, Bella.”

Rayne’s jaw dropped to see herself on the pages of the newspaper with headlines like: FASHION’S NEW RED HEADED BOMBSHELL

POISON IVY FINDS ITS LEADING LADY

FASHION HOUSE BACK FROM THE DEAD WITH A UNIQUE POINT OF VIEW

SEX AND CURVES ON DISPLAY AT FASHION HOUSE COMEBACK

“Stanley, this is incredible! Look at all this coverage.” Rayne’s mouth was hanging open from sheer shock.

“And look at all these photos of you! I told you Bella, you are something!”

“Oh stop Stanley, there are photos of other models too.” Rayne waved him off.

“But none of them except one are in every single article. You might want to consider getting yourself an agent.” Stanley smiled while Rayne shook her head, surely she wouldn’t need an agent after one show.

Unfortunately for Rayne, she couldn’t have been more wrong, the phone was ringing off the hook all day with inquires about herself. And she would come to find out later on, the same thing happened for other models that had walked in the show as well. Their little fashion show had certainly sparked something in the fashion world, and her life would be changed forever.

Rayne walked into her home and tossed her keys down, Tommy was cooking dinner and immediately rushed over to Rayne lifting her slightly off the ground. “Baby have you seen the paper today? You’re in it!”

“Tommy the phone was ringing off the hook today at the studio, all of these people want to book me and I have no idea how to handle all of it, Stanley says I need to get an agent but I don’t know the first thing about finding an ag…”

“Hey, hey. Baby breathe.” Tommy placed his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “We’ll figure it out okay? But take a second to think about how huge this is!”

“I didn’t think it would be this big of a deal.” Rayne shook her head running her fingers through her hair.

“I did.” Tommy smiled. “You’re special baby, and you’re going to do great things. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” Rayne let out a sigh that she had been holding in before lifting herself up to give Tommy a kiss. When she pulled away Rayne looked over to the kitchen. “You’re going to spoil me babe. I might not let you go on tour if you keep cooking for me.”

“Well it’s not ready yet. Sit down and relax. I mean what I said, we’ll figure everything out so don’t stress.” Tommy turned Rayne and gave her a gentle push toward the couch.

Later that night, after dinner Rayne straddled Tommy on the lounge chair outside next to the raging fire pit. Tommy’s hands made quick work to remove Rayne’s sweater leaving her in her bra, skirt, thigh highs and heels. She couldn’t help the moans that fell from her lips as his lips nipped and sucked at the sweet spot beneath her ear. “Fuck this is one way to unwind.”

Tommy smiled against her hot skin while pulling her red lace bra down exposing her pink nipples before wrapping his lips around one licking and sucking until Rayne was a writhing mess above him. She buried her hands in his thick mane of curls urging him on, and luckily for her, Tommy was all too happy to oblige. Rayne rocked her hips against Tommy’s jeans trying desperately to get any bit of friction against her clit. “A little eager tonight aren’t we?”

Rayne’s response was a simple nod of her head while pulling her bottom lip between her teeth in anticipation. “Mmmhmm.”

Tommy placed both his hands on Rayne’s hips to stop her bucking before he dipped his right hand down to tease her clit over her black lace panties. “So wet for me baby.” Tommy’s voice was husky and Rayne whined in response, whenever Tommy got that tone in his voice it made her shiver. “Tell me what you want.”

“I wanna fuck you.” Rayne, trying to keep her composure, locked eyes with him as he kept toying with her clit.

“You wanna use me baby? Wanna ride my cock?” Tommy smiled nipping at her bottom lip.

“Fuck yes.” Rayne smiled as soon as he let go of her bottom lip.

Like the cocky son of a bitch he could be sometimes, Tommy put his hands behind his head and leaned back on the chair. “Well then, have at it.”

He didn’t need to say anymore, Rayne quickly made work on the belt buckle on Tommy’s jeans before slipping the belt through the loops. Tommy wore a cocky smile on his face and his eyes for the moment were closed, so Rayne seized the opportunity to grab Tommy’s hands that were clasped together behind his head and wrap the belt around them tying it into place. “Babe what the…”

“I’ve been waiting to tie you up since you tied me up at the hotel last tour.” Rayne deviously smiled before she slid his jeans down Tommy’s hips and legs. She could feel the heat from the flames of their fire pit kiss her back, setting her skin on fire more than it already was.

“You liked it.” Tommy narrowed his eyes.

“Oh did I like it.” Rayne smiled running her hands up and down Tommy’s length. “And now it’s your turn.” As she eased herself down onto her knees she licked from the base of his dick to the tip, she wanted to tease him as he loved to tease her. She continued to kiss and lick the sensitive skin around her favorite toy, before she moved towards his balls. She was doing everything except suck him off, and by the fact that he was squirming underneath her. It was an interesting feeling, usually Rayne was the one squirming which she didn’t mind at all but it was nice to turn the tables. “Now who’s eager?”

“Fuck Rayne, I can’t take it.”

“It’s just a little taste of your own medicine baby.” Rayne smiled straddling his waist once more giving him a tender kiss on the lips. “But I can’t take it anymore either.”

Rayne reached for Tommy’s cock underneath her which was standing at full attention slowly she wrapped her fingers around him guiding his length to her pussy. Rayne slowly, painfully slowly, ran the head of Tommy’s dick up and down her wet slit. When she reached her clit she let an excited yelp fall from her lips. Continuing the movements Rayne leaned toward Tommy hovering her lips above his. “Tell me what you want.”

“I wanna feel that perfect pussy around my cock.” Tommy panted beneath her before capturing her lips.

“Like this?” Rayne asked before finally letting herself sink down onto him, taking his full length into her.

“Oh fuck yeah baby.” Tommy shouted once he was inside of her. Once he was inside her all teasing that Rayne had previously done was out the window and instinct took over. Rayne leaned forward slightly grinding her hips against Tommy’s, the sound of their skin slapping against each other mixing with the sound of the ocean waves crashing behind them. Soon both of them were on the brink of ecstacy. “Fuck baby, I’m gone cum.”

“Mmm,” was all Rayne could say as she began to buck her hips faster and feel her orgasm completely take over her. Rayne continued to move her hips until Tommy was pistoning his hips against hers and she felt him cum inside of her. The only word Rayne’s brain could send to her lips was a simple. “Fuck.”

“You could say that again.” Tommy smiled up at Rayne. “I think I have a new favorite view.”

“What?” Rayne asked confused, undoing the belt around his wrists.

“Watching you buck and grind on top of me and those perfect tits bouncing up and down. Fuck, I think I’m getting hard again.” Tommy winked before reaching up to grab Rayne’s tits, kneading the soft skin in his hands.

“Oh shut up, you are not.” Rayne giggled taking in a sharp breath at the sensation against her sensitive flesh.

“Not right now, but I think you still have a little stress that needs to be worked out, and I am ready to put the work in.” Tommy grinned.

“Okay, if you insist but lets go inside it’s windy out here.” Rayne said pushing herself off of him, grabbing their discarded clothing while Tommy put out the fire. Tommy turned toward Rayne and groaned.

“Fuck me, and you left the heels on.” Tommy shook his head looking at his future wife’s naked form clad in nothing but a pair of high heels.

“You like? If you try really hard, I might be able to be convinced to keep them on in bed too.” She teased.

“Oh I can be very convincing my love.” Tommy replied before rushing toward Rayne causing her to shout out and try her best to run away from him as she chased her into their bedroom.

Luckily Tommy was right, on many fronts, but by the end of the week Rayne had an agent and a modeling contract signed.

Three Months Later

Oh people, people Is the scar too deep You can't hold a man's soul By the color of his keys A tear of blood runs from my eye But somehow I can never Make you cry

Rayne sat on the couch of a recording studio as the last song on Theater of Pain faded out. She was speechless, and not in the best way. She hated to say it but she was not a fan of the album, it seemed all over the place, she could tell the band were not as much of a unit as they were on Shout at The Devil. The album had one hit, at best two. She looked up and saw all sets of eyes on her. Tommy spoke up first, “Well?”

“Well it’s,” she paused. “Different.”

“She hates it.” Vince stood up straight and turned on his heel.

“No, I don’t hate it. It’s just… I like Shout more. I wish I could say I loved it, but I can’t lie to you guys.” Rayne tried to soften her words.

“I fuckin told you guys, the album is shit!” Vince shouted taking Rayne by surprise.

“Guys, the album is great. Home Sweet Home and Smokin In The Boys room, they’ll be hits. And you’re already over budget and way over schedule. We have you booked to play Europe in a few months, the album is done.” Doc said sternly, which to Rayne seemed very strange. Most managers you would think would tell their band that they needed to put out the best album they possibly could, and reading between the lines it seemed like Doc thought this album could sustain them until the next one because of the two potential big songs.

“You booked us to play Europe before the album even comes out?” Nikki questioned, barely able to open his eyes.

“The album will come out when you’re overseas. We’ll shoot videos for the singles and all will be well.” Doc replied.

“And I’ll be the sober asshole that has to try to sell this piece of shit record every night.” Vince complained.

“Vince maybe if you would’ve shown up at the studio when you were supposed to the record would be better.”

“Oh fuck off Tommy, that’s not the only problem and you know it.” Vince spat at Tommy before turning and walking out of the studio slamming the door behind him.

Rayne’s eyes looked around the room before settling on Nikki. He could barely keep his eyes open, he was pale and gaunt. She leaned to Tommy and whispered in his ear, “Is Nikki okay?”

“He’s in a dark place right now.” Tommy quietly responded. Rayne frowned before getting up from the couch and walking over to where Nikki was, sitting next to him. His eyes were closed but he was talking to himself.

“Nikki? Hey Nikki.” Rayne softly said, placing her hand on Nikki’s shoulder. Nikki grabbed her wrist and began to squeeze it rather painfully which Rayne cried out from the unexpected pressure. Tommy shot up from his seat but as soon as Nikki realized it was Rayne he snapped out of whatever state of mind he was in and quickly let go of her wrist.

“Fuck, I’m sorry Rayne.” Nikki quickly apologized hiding himself behind his long black bangs.

“Nikki, what’s going on?” Rayne whispered utterly concerned with his behavior.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Was the response she received causing her to internally sigh, but she couldn’t allow that to show through. “I gotta go.”

As Nikki pushed himself off the sofa he was on Rayne quickly grabbed his hand to stop him. “You are so thin Nikki. Why don’t you come over this week to our place for dinner?”

“No I don’t want to impose.” Nikki shook his head.

“You’re not. We want you there, right Tommy?” Rayne turned slightly toward Tommy.

“Yeah dude, come on over. Get out of the city, the ocean air is great for the soul.”

“Alright.” Nikki nodded slightly. “I’ll come over.”

“Thursday?”

“Sure.”

“I’m going to hold you to it Nikki.” Rayne playfully threatened.

“Yeah, yeah. See you later.”

As Nikki left the room leaving just Mick and Tommy. “How do you get him to open up to you?” Tommy asked.

“I honestly have no idea. But I’m glad he does.” Rayne shrugged her shoulders, looking over to where Nikki had just walked out of the room.

Later That Night…

Rayne and Tommy were surrounded by warm water and bubbles in their bathtub. Rayne loved the quiet moments like this. Rayne nudged her nose against Tommy’s. “Do you think Nikki is actually going to come on Thursday?”

“You’re actually asking me about Nikki while we’re naked?” Tommy cocked his eyebrow.

“I just can’t get that image of him out of my mind from today. I’m worried about him.” Rayne frowned.

“You’re too good Rayne, do you know that?” Tommy ran his hands up and down her arms.

“Why? Because I’m concerned about one of my friends?”

“No because you never give up on people.” Tommy smiled.

“Oh well I certainly could give up on people, but it takes a lot.”

“I can’t believe you have not brought up the more exciting piece of news today babe.” Tommy smiled up at her.

“What exciting piece of news?”

“That we’re going to tour Europe!”

“Oh. Yeah Tommy that’s amazing for you! You’re going to be taking over the world.” Rayne began to scrub Tommy’s scalp with shampoo.

“Not just me baby. You told me you always wanted to go to the UK, well now you finally will.” Tommy took the soap and washed Rayne’s skin.

“What? Are you serious? Tommy that’s…” Rayne started.

“See I made good on my promise. I told you early on in our relationship one day we’d see the world together. This is just the beginning.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too baby.” Tommy grinned and lifted his chin up to meet Rayne’s lips in a loving kiss.

---

I hope the update was worth it. I know I’m the worst and again I’m so sorry! I was so excited to write about Rayne’s first fashion show and some of the turmoil in the band. Any feedback is appreciated, always.

#I NEED FIRE #the dirt #the dirt fanfic #the dirt fandom #Tommy Lee #tommy lee imagine #tommy lee fanfic #fashion show #80s #my writing #original story #fanfic #fan fiction

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beanenigma · 5 years

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Having nine siblings while being an only child - a writing guide to new types of families - part one

Howdy there, friends.

Today’s topic is one that is very close to my heart and that I really want to see in fiction more often: new types of families. Of course, we see a lot of found family kind of scenarios - which I love, I can’t deny - and a lot of traditional family scenarios - mothers, fathers, sons and brothers and what does it all mean. But I hardly ever see situations like mine in fiction, in which new families are forged into the ashes of old ones and people have to find a way to live with it - at least not in a healthy way. We’re the first couple of generations born with normalized divorce (it only became legal in Brazil, for example, in 1977) and it’s starting to shape our families (in 2017, brazilian data showed that there were 11,6 million of familiar arrangements without one of the parents).

So hi. My name is Isabella. I’m 21 years old. And collectively, I have/had 9 siblings. 2 half sisters, and 7 step siblings, divided thorought 3 marriages (marriages in the wide sense of the word, two people living together with rings and children, not necessarily with papers and ceremonies). I’m also an only child on my mother’s side.

EDIT: There’s a part two to this guide about step-parents, and you can find it HERE

It all started when I was 4 and my parents divorced. My father married my stepmother who already had two daughters (sounds familiar?). My father and this woman had a child together. Years later, my father divorced again and married another woman, this time with two sons. Once more, they had a child. And then, for a third time, years later, he divorced again and is now dating another woman who has three children..

As a disclaimer, it’s important to note that in my situation my parents were also very mature about their divorce. They always made it pretty clear that whatever didn’t work between them was their romantic relationship, but their relationship as being my parents would never end. Therefore, my mom always wanted me to see my dad as much as I could and my dad always wanted me to see my sisters and bond with his new family as much as I could (healthy divorce stories? Sign me up!). Just be aware that mine is not always the case - but also, my case also exists.

Calling them what they are

I call my sisters what they are: my sisters. Not my half-sisters. My sisters. Despite living in another house and not being there the whole time, I was there when they were born, I held them in my arms, I played with them and watched them grow. This is something I think Phineas and Ferb really nailed in the show (among so many other things): how Phineas and Ferb hardly ever refer to each other as step-siblings, or to their parents as anything other than mom and dad.

About my step siblings, I’m always a bit torn about how to call them. I’ve resorted to calling them my siblings as well and waiting for someone to ask to tell them the whole story of the three divorces. It’s just easier. Eventually, with the time, I came to the same realization: they’re just as much my siblings as the other two are. We were united by more than flesh and blood: by shared experiences and people who loved us all very much.

But this is for the people who actually lived with me and whose family made an effort to include me - aka my dad’s wives children. My mom, for example, also married twice and one of these stepdads had children. They were way older and had no interest in getting a new sister. They were never bad to me in any way, they just weren’t involved in this new experience. I don’t even call them my step siblings. I didn’t even call them anything. They were my stepdad’s children. That might happen too.

If you think you need to use such terms as half and step to make it easier on your audience, fine. But I feel it diminishes the strength of the bonds that are formed and go beyond these types of names. It sounds forced, like siblings that call themselves “bro” and “sis” on dialogue non ironically. Siblings are people you share time and care about despite their faults. Call these people nothing less. And call other kinds of people nothing at all. Because that’s how it goes in real life.

What it’s like to have half siblings and step siblings

There are many layers to what it means to have both of these things. And both are very different, even if they sound similar.

Having half siblings feels more definitive. You’re required to perform sibling-like activities: show up at birthdays, have quality time, fight. It’s already a given that they’re your sibling no matter how you treat them.

Having step siblings however, goes through many stages, it’s not always the same: at first, it’s a bit awkward, since neither of you know if this between your parents will last a day or ten years and what exactly will be the boundaries of this new relationship. Will we live all together? Will we share rooms? Will you like my mother? Will I like your father? Then, when you start warming up to each other, there is still a bit of awkward there. Therefore, you start to test your boundaries, apply things that you apply to your siblings to them, see what works, what they’re comfortable with.

But the real third phase only starts when things start getting rough. When the first fights arrive is when you really get a real feel for it, for what’s your real relationship. It’s normally when the cracks in this whole divorce/marriage business start showing: who misses their other parent, who is unhappy, who wishes they could bond more. This is normally only what books, TV shows and movies show: painting children as if they’re out to get their new siblings, ignoring all of the emotional charge that involves a new marriage in the family.

We had one of those in marriage #2: lil’ boy was 6 and loved his dad very much and antagonized my dad for a long time before accepting him. He’d throw fits and reject me and my sister at first. He’d be angry at everyone constantly. He’d fight with his own brother and try to hurt anyone who got involved, none being guilty of what happened. Until one day, there was only me and him at home - and we watched movies and we laid in the couch together and from that we became friends. All of that was a defense mechanism to get the attention he thought he would lose when his mom got a new husband and a new child. This is reality. This is being human. It’s feelings not always making sense but also being quite irresistible, specially when you’re a child.

Sharing physical spaces

Not living with your siblings will often make you feel left out. They’ll have their own inside jokes and they’ll go out to movies without you and sometimes even go on trips you can’t or opt out of going. With half siblings, it’s easier because you share at least half of your ancestry - so half of their family is your family too and you can share this common knowledge with them. When you have step siblings, it’s harder, because you hardly know the family you just got into - your new step parent’s family - let alone the other side of your sibling’s family, that has no idea you even exist. Not to mention eventually they’ll have to attend this other side of the family’s business and there’s nothing you can do about it.

There are also physical aspects to not living with your siblings. It really depends on how the parents choose to accommodate this situation. In my case, I went to my dad’s house for a weekend every two weeks. Still, he made sure I had a bed and wardrobe space. My first stepmom had me sharing the room with her daughter - another bed for me and half the wardrobe. My second stepmom however, would put down mattresses for us in her daughter’s room and wouldn’t have any wardrobe space for us (and then get mad when our bags would get messy). Both of these attitudes had different impacts in me and made me feel better or worse about one situation and the other.

Living with your half and step siblings would eliminate most of these problems, putting them in parity with full siblings. You still have to share things, be together most times of day and share your parents. This can also mean you have more chances of seeing their other family and getting in contact with them. My baby sister for example adores her brothers’ father and he really likes her too, despite everything. Families are just weird like that.

What is like not to have any siblings

For me it has always been the best of both worlds. No matter what happened at my dad’s house, I knew I would always have my mom to come back to, that I wouldn’t have to share with anyone, for who I would always be a priority. Being an only child was “the real life”, and having siblings was like a hobby, something I did on the weekends.

As I grew older, I started missing having my siblings around more and more. I started realizing how quiet my house was and how lonely it is when you want to do something stupid with someone easily. Would I want my siblings to live with me? No. By now I grew up non accustomed to sharing and I have a hard time with people meddling in my stuff. But I do want my children to have siblings. I believe having siblings makes people better and it’s a way to ensure your children feel less lonely.

When parents and step parents break up

Long story short, it sucks. Not only you’ll see your half siblings less than you already did before, but you’ll also have a hard time seeing your step siblings, since theoretically you don’t have a relation anymore. You’ll also have to detach yourself from a whole family who accommodated and welcomed you.

Just this weekend, I got to see my brothers from my dad’s last marriage. The boys were so big I could hardly believe. Their cousins who use to travel with us were there too and one of them hugged me so hard I thought I was going to cry. She said what inspired me to write this guide: “so our parents fuck up and we’re the ones who have to pay for it?”.

Nothing erased all that we have lived. Nothing could have stopped us if we decided to still see each other. But we just fell apart when our parents did. I still see all of them in my sister’s birthdays, but we don’t have that spark of shared experiences anymore. I still love them and would never consider them my ex-siblings. We just don’t talk anymore. It happens. Such is life.

This is a very short guide and it could never encompass the myriad of experiences that compose new types of families. I’ll still make a part 2 to this guide, specifically about step parents, so follow me or shoot me an ask if you’d like to see that. And I’d appreciate any adition you can make with your own experiences.

Happy writing!

#writing #writing advice #writing guide #writer #writers #writeblr #writing tips #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr

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kenjiro-s · 5 years

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New Memories, A Tsukishima Akiteru x The Small Giant fanfiction

It had been long few days. Akiteru smiled, allowing Tanaka’s chatter to flow around him. Glancing at his phone, he made sure there were no messages from his manager. True, he’d taken the time off and all, but they still did have three high priority projects currently running and he didn’t consider it impossible for his boss to call him in the middle of the game and tell him it was “urgent”. But the coast looked clear and he dropped the phone back in his pocket with a sigh. Talk about stress.

Yes, Kei had been acting in his usual cool and aloof way, but Akiteru knew him better than anyone. His baby brother was probably burning from tension, considering how he would be playing both against people he knew he respected and who had helped him in the past, and teams that were the top in the whole country. And while Kei could handle himself better than, well, Akiteru himself in most cases, it was still huge strain on him. So, Akiteru worried. Kei was young and stubborn but even he had his limits. They all did, he considered while walking along with Tanaka. They were probably having the time of their lives, but still…

- Tsukishima-san ? – He paused. Was someone calling him… - Oh, hey ! Long time no see ! – It took him way longer than it should had. To be fair, it had been five years now, and they had all changed way too much, but still. He could swear he’d been standing there, with his mouth open, for a full minute, when the stranger, no, he was no stranger, smiled a little more. – It is you, right, Tsukishima-san ?

Beside him, Tanaka made a choking, coughing, indescribable sound of question and the newcomer nodded at her.

- Yeah… - He knew he barely whispered it, but soft grey eyes met his and he swallowed. – Yeah, it’s me. How you’ve been ? – The man fell in step beside him and Akiteru tried not to show his surprise. They had all grown up, but the years had been more than kind to his teammate. He’d lost the childish face and the desperate ferocity, somehow shaping himself into what looked like an actual adult.

- Good. More than good, actually, landed an extended internship and things are working out nicely. And you ? Is your little brother still your biggest fan ?

Akiteru allowed himself to laugh a little despite the strange buzz of nerves that had settled in his stomach. His biggest fan ? What a joke. Not that he was bitter, oh, no. But it was funny how the roles had been reversed. True, he knew that under all the glares and complaining Kei was a good kid who cared too much, but he’d lost something that day when he’d seen the confusion on his face. It had been the worst heartbreak he’d ever experienced.

- No. – And since everyone else had gone forward and the man beside him seemed to be waiting for a longer answer still with that soft smile on his lips, he allowed some truth to seep through. Only a little, because making someone as amazing as one of the most inspirational people he’d ever had the pleasure to know pity him would be almost as bad as disappointing Kei all over again. – He’s in his moody teen phase. Thinks he knows better than the whole world. Being a brat. – He forced the smile wider. – You know how it is.

Just as he looked to his side to see what his answer would get him, the other man looked up, pushing door open. He heard Tanaka call his companion and slowed down to give them space. From the door he could see Kei’s short energetic friend with the incredible jump gush all over his ex-teammate. Akiteru felt his smile reappear, this time – real. He’d been asked if Kei was his biggest fan but it seemed like his old friend had found his own greatest supporter, judging by the volume and non-existent articulation of the kid. It was too cute and he felt like if Hinata, unless he was mistaken and the kid’s name was completely different, got a little more excited, he’d inflate like a helium balloon and touch the ceiling. Talk about wholesome. Kei did complain about him all the time but this was too pure for words.

He couldn’t hear what exactly was being said but the little sunflower with a jersey number 10 wilted around the edges, just a little. Akiteru frowned. Where had the conversation ended…Oh, wait, no. The first year setter called for him and the kid squared his shoulders, raising his chin. His own old teammate nodded and headed back to the door. In the last moment, with Tanaka almost having left the spot, he turned to the kid.

- Do your best, new little giant ! – And then he waved, smile still soft and warm. So, a different kind of encouragement, he guessed. His old friend fell in step beside him again as they walked to their seats.

- Tsukishima-san, your little brother is playing in the match, too, right ? – Caught.

- Yeah. – And because he was more proud in everything Kei had achieved recently than almost anything in his own life, he had to add a little something. – He’s good.

It was an underestimation, but the man he hadn’t seen in five years would had to wait and see for himself. Because his baby brother was more than good, and kept showing it again and again. So much potential, and he was developing it so quickly. Akiteru couldn’t even find it in himself to be upset. He’d tried and failed, but that had been in the past. Now, he had his own adult life and Kei was shining brighter than he ever could. A win-win situation.

Leaning back in the plastic seat, Akiteru looked a little better at the man sitting next to him. Tanaka had gone to organize her group of supporters and it was just the two of them. In the deafening sound of the crowd, the moment felt surprisingly private.

He’d grown, Akiteru thought again. Became this calm, confident man who knew where he was going and how to get there. His light eyes had lost their edge but it suited his sharper features. Made him more human, real, almost tangible, as opposed to the monster he’d been back in school. Because in the past, he’d always been this figure that never stopped trying, never stopped looking for a way and a solution, and it had been scary. He remembered something Kei had said, something about his teammates trying too hard and putting too much into volleyball. The man beside him had been like that, at least in his memories. Not anymore.

They’d both grown. He looked away from his friend’s face. He’d despaired and cursed and screamed, he remembered. Mostly at himself, because he just hadn’t been able to get better no matter what. Now, he’d made peace with that and all that was left was his own path ahead and the hope that it would include Kei’s road to greatness, too, here and there. He almost laughed at himself. There he was sitting, at his baby brother’s volleyball game, thinking about the purpose and value of his own life like he was seventy and on his deathbed or something.

- You look good, Tsukishima – san.

- Hm ? – The other man shrugged.

- The only reason I recognised you is because of your hair and how tall you are. – This time, Akiteru laughed.

- Not sure if you can talk. I could barely tell who I was looking at. The hair definitely didn’t help. – That got him a laugh in response. It was quiet, again, nothing like the burning firework energy he’d used to throw in everything.

- I wish the story was more interesting, but I just lost track of it during one terrible semester in college and when I looked myself in a mirror for the first time in several months, I thought I kind of liked it. So I kept it.

- It suits you.

- Does it really ? – Down on the court, the players were lining up. Kei’s shoulders were loose and his hands – open at his sides. Calm. Good.

- Sure. Or better, it suits this new person I barely recognised.

- I’ll take it as a compliment. Say, Tsukishima-san. Would you like to get a drink with me after the games ? To catch up ?

Akiteru took his focus off of Kei taking a stance in his spot and looked to the side. The grey eyes that met his were still warm, still calm, still soft. He realised, in that exact moment, that he really wanted to catch up.

- Of course. Five years are a lot, after all.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu rarepair #tsukishima akiteru #the small giant #the little giant #rarepair #rarepai #character study

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sarashkalai-blog · 5 years

Text

Careers in chennai

“Successful mothers are not the ones that never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles”

– Sharon Jaynes

Meet Dr. Avani Desai who has around 20 years of corporate and academic experience. She holds an MBA in Finance and a PhD in Investor Relations. And most importantly she is a Supermom.

Professionally, she is the Dean of Business Administration in GLS University and a Visiting Faculty at Indian Institute of Management (IIM) Ahmedabad and MICA. She teaches finance and communication at the undergraduate, post graduate and PhD levels. An avid reader herself she tries to balance work and home.

With such credentials, another feather to her cap is being the mother of Vishwesh Desai, a teen celebrity. An author with a successful book Shadows of the Northlands, he began writing at the tumultuous age of thirteen and completed it at fourteen. Vishwesh is currently working on a trilogy while simultaneously sitting for his board exams and also working on his college applications. A true yellow collar role model, he is keen on pursuing a degree in genetics alongside his first love creative writing.

So how does one get to a point where one has so many balls to juggle yet manages to make it look effortless? It was an absolute delight getting to know this unassuming yet knowledgeable mum who shared so much of wisdom despite her busy schedule.

Staying Connected:

Finding pockets of time to hang out together with your child: be it driving for classes, waiting at the bus stop or making meals together.

Start doing this from an early age and your child will get accustomed to your presence and will share incidents of their own.

Challenges Faced along the way:

Vishwesh being a hyper active kid she found it a challenge to keep him engaged. She found a solution to this by having ready to go bags which she filled with puzzles, books and toys and the minute they had to step out she would just grab one and take it along to avoid a hassled day. She learnt the importance of keeping her son mentally stimulated to ensure peace prevailed.

In order to balance work and bringing up her son she moved from the corporate sector to academics, initially working part time and then moving on full time when he went to regular school. This ensured that she didn’t have to give up on her passion and yet at the same time she could make time to be there for her son. Having good family support also enabled her to get through the tough days. She did her PH. D while Vishwesh was seven years and would pull all-nighters to study so that she could spend the day with him. She would avoid socializing or stick to important events just to be there for him.

MOTHER’S GOLDEN RULES

Speak the truth:

No matter, what the circumstances, speaking the truth is a non-negotiable rule.

Pick your battles:

Know which issues are important to enforce and let the small things slide. Ultimately it is all about creating a balance.

Never disrespect your elders:

No matter what happens, disrespecting elders is something that is not tolerated at all.

Reinforce the rules immediately:

If the child needs to be corrected do it immediately rather than waiting for a good time so that it enables the child to make the connection. Good or bad, the feedback should be instantaneous.

Your word is your law:

If a commitment has been given it is understood that it will be met at all costs despite any setback or physical discomfort.

Mum’s the word!!!

And sometimes there’s no harm in using the mum card…… most mums are guilty of having used this trump card…” I am your mum… so you have to listen”…. It works a lot of times…

“Education is not just about going to school and getting a degree. It’s about widening your knowledge

and absorbing the truth about life.”

– Shakuntala Devi

The Riverside school:

Focused on the wellbeing of the child

Concentrated on character building rather than just academics

Gave opportunities to be a part of school projects

Instilled the importance of physical activities

Taught the value of time and how time management was vital to one’s success

Taught planning and coordination

Emphasized giving back to the society: Children are expected to volunteer for a cause for 2 hrs every week

Passion project : Use one’s passion to creatively help the society

Gave the freedom to formulate a schedule that worked alongside academics as well as helped allocate time for writing the novel

Entrusted the child with responsibilities and built their self confidence

MANTRA FOR SUCCESS

Quality over Quantity:

It matters the most how much of quality time we spend with our teens. It’s not about being there the whole day but, within the time we allocate for them, how we devote all of that in being there with and for the child.

Boredom: The father of creativity:

Leaving children free of structured activities and allowing them to get bored is essential because from that, will spring the fountain of creativity. They will start exploring possibilities and will engage in activities like reading, drawing, writing, enacting and so on to curb their boredom .

Never run a child’s life:

As well-meaning parents sometimes it is taken for granted that we are most qualified to make the best decisions for the child. But each child is unique and parents need to identify the innate qualities of the child and bring that to the forefront rather than trying to fulfil their ambitions through their offspring. Key to that is never trying to enforce our personalities onto the child.

“Kids are like flowing water; they will find their course.”

– Dr. Avani

Tough times bring tough people:

As a parent one is faced with taking tough stances. When they had to take a call on the choice of the school, they had to decide between a reputed old school or a school which would focus on their child’s overall development. They took a choice and there has been no looking back with the school playing an enormous role in shaping up Vishwesh’s personality.

Another instance was forgoing a school trip due to a raging fever. As any parent can identify with these situations “Do I do the right thing or do I give in to my child’s happiness?” Eventually it’s the matter of doing the right thing and explaining it to your child that health trumps all.

Academics: a boon or a bane:

If education is measured on the yardstick of grades only, then it is going to lead to co-curricular activities being driven away. Whereas, if co-curricular activities are part and parcel of the child’s upbringing they learn values from the activities they are a part of. Children learn to be disciplined, focused, moving with self-confidence and much more. The skills they learn will eventually help them in their academics too.

Being a Motivational mother:

When Vishwesh went through tough times or when he was overwhelmed she was just there for him. She patiently taught him the power of letting go. She used the distraction technique to help take his mind away from the problem and when completely rested and happy he could tackle his problems again. She ensured he knew that he was bigger than the obstacle. She reminded him of instances he had overcome difficult situations in the past to restore his self-confidence .

Gadgets – The new age toys:

It’s not enough to just tell kids to stay off gadgets. You need to provide them with viable alternatives to occupy their time. Think of creative ways of spending time together. Think of ways of keeping the child mentally stimulated. Automatically when the child is engaged in activities that interest and challenge him, he is going to stay away from gadgets. From playing games, to watching movies, listening to music, cycling or gardening; parents are the best judges of their children’s interests.

WORD OF ADVICE TO PARENTS

Let go of your rigid ideas and the concept of trying to imprint your thoughts on children. Teens have well-defined ideas on who they are and what they want to do. So as parents, we need to step back for teens to find their way.

Listen without being judgmental.

Find out what is the new normal. What may be interesting or acceptable to you doesn’t necessarily have to align with your teen’s interest.

Know what your values are and as long as the teen doesn’t disregard them, give them the leeway to make their own choices.

Create your own list of priorities and see what can be worked out together to ensure harmony.

Figure out a way to make your own goals (health, education, etc.) the child’s goals so that they want to succeed for themselves rather than doing it because it’s thrusted upon them.

Nudge them in a subtle way and show them the benefits of doing things they love and making a success of it.

WORD OF ADVICE TO TEENS

Live your life weighing the benefits.

It’s your choices that make or break you. So be wise.

If you take a call to do something, stay committed to it.

Even if things seem uphill, persist on seeing the big picture and focus on achieving your goals.

It’s your life. You need to get your priorities right.

“Kids are very smart. You show them what’s good for them

and they latch on to it.”

– Dr Avani

SECRET TIP TO PARENTS

Listen to your kids patiently without being reactive or judgemental.

Avoid lecturing them.

Explain things from their perspective.

What worked for you may not necessarily work for them.

Danusha C

Parent & Career Advisor

Credit: Ilovemondays

#ilovemondays #career course #career in india #jobsearch

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wonderlandmind4 · 6 years

Text

Delicate Stages Chp 31

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ana Rios

Warnings: Language. Blink and you’ll miss it angst. Tony Stark’s snark. Mentions of blood, non graphic minor injury. Mild fighting.

Words: 4.6k+ @justreadingfics @nerdyandproud9 @buffy-morgendorffer-01

Ana felt relieved she was able to laugh after talking to Bucky, although her stomach is rolling in sick waves. She leans against her door as she closes it, releasing a heavy sigh. Her heart is pounding in her chest and her stomach is clenching. She knows she just took one for her own team. Bucky’s healing process is more important than her own feelings and she will continue making him the number one priority no matter what.

"Well, that's a self sacrificing look if I ever saw one." Someone speaks up.

She startles. "I swear to god, Tony. How do you even know this? Why do you keep showing up in my room?"

"I'm not sure what happened, but I'm very familiar with that look on your face. Putting someone else's well being before yours."

"Pepper you mean?" Ana can't help the slight warmth of fondness over that fact.

Tony hums, then stands from her computer chair. He comes too close for her liking as his dark brown eyes apprise her. Suddenly, he lifts her chin up, tilting her head side to side. He blinks, then releases her chin. Ana pouts, rubbing at her skin.

"Where'd that bruise come from?" He questions casually, beginning to walk around the room. He picks up books, scans them once, then replaces them.

"What bruise?"

"The faded ones on your neck in the shape of fingers."

Shit. "Got a bit kinky with a guy from a bar. Hot hookup and all." She answers flatly.

"I'd rather not know your kinks, Ana, thank you. Plus, you're lying, horribly." Tony pauses to face her. "Barnes told me."

Well, fuck. "What did he tell you exactly?"

"Simon Mills compromising the session. Barnes nearly crushing your neck. The lack of use of the bracelet."

Goddammit. "Did he really say crushing my neck? That's over dramatized." Ana says, finally walking forward and snatching her journal out of Tony's hands. "It's fine. I didn't even notice there was a bruise. He didn't hurt me, so I would really appreciate you not blowing his arm off, thanks."

"He did come to me with that intention." Tony pauses as his expression changes. "He cares for you. As do I, so next time, Ana. Use the damn bracelet. I gave it to you for a reason."

"Yes, sir." She snips mockingly. "You didn't tell Pepper did you?"

"And risk her marching her beautiful legs up here with those heels to kick his ass? No."

Ana plops down on her bed. "Thank you. I promise I'll use it next time."

"It's not just an accessory, kid. Use it, or I'll be present for every session afterwards."

"That is rather unnecessary."

Tony levels her with a look. "Fine. I wont hesitate to tell Pepper."

Ana shakes her head as he steps toward her door.

"It's your safety first, Ana. Oh, the mission got moved up. Change of plans on the testing of the weapons."

"Are you guys ready?"

Tony opens the door. "Don't you mean, is he ready?"

"What do you think?" Ana inquires genuinely.

"I do...unless something pretty distracts him. Good thing you aren’t coming."

Then Tony is out the door, closing it before the pillow Ana threw can hit him.

***

This is turning out to be quite a day already. It's not until all the meetings has finished and the sun is beginning to set, that Ana marches up to Bucky.

"You told Tony!?" Ana accuses after finding Bucky on the roof again.

"Got to be more specific, darling." He answers, sitting up from the lounge chair.

"You told him about the compromised stage? Why would you do that? He's rather testy about it."

"I figured you would listen to him about taking precautionary measures."

"What?"

Bucky sighs heavily. “You know, for someone really smart, you can be really stupid.”

“Excuse me?” She snips incredulously.

“You don’t active any of the defense mechanisms, Ana! The restraints, the bracelet. You don’t take the precautionary measures to protect yourself! You didn't even use that taser disk!"

Bucky pauses. He looks her over for a moment. "As great as last night went, you still did something incredibly reckless. Anything could have happened! Don’t you know if something were to happen to you it would be my fault and I would never be able to live with myself”

Tension seeps from Ana’s shoulders. He looks so concerned, so worried, it makes her feel guilty. “Bucky-“

"It's one of the things that drives me fucking insane about you! As if you don't care for your own safety at all."

Something sour burns in her mouth. "Right, why would I when I have a big, bad Soldier to do it for me? Protecting me so much, he still holds back from me."

"Didn't hold back last night, did I?" Bucky counters, his voice dropping a few octaves.

Oh, so they can stumble through an awkward conversation about it, but making snarky remarks is as easy as can be. Two can play that game. Ana steps closer to him until he has to look up at her. She tries not to get distracted by his eyes shining in the fading light of the sun, or the fierce look in them. The set of his mouth with how red his lips are, and how Ana remembers exactly how they felt on hers. Remembers exactly how he tastes.

"You protect me so much from yourself, that I bet you're too afraid to even kiss me again." Ana whispers in a challenge.

Bucky just stares into her eyes. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't react once, and a flash of hurt shoots through her chest because she knew it. Knew that him processing it meant it wasn't going to happen ever again. That it really was a one time thing he just did to shut her up, and not because he may have feelings for her too. Ana swallows the lump in her throat, then steps back, reminding herself. Bucky’s healing process is the number one priority; not whatever is happening between them.

"You leave for the mission tomorrow." She states quietly, yet keeping her tone professional. "I'd take the day to mentally prepare. Don't want anything to distract you and compromise the mission."

With that, she exists the roof.

***

Ana is preparing a late dinner the next night, chopping up vegetables on the cutting board, letting the sound of the rain splattering against the large windows fill the room. Everyone is gone for the mission, but she decided to make more than enough food in case anyone is hungry when they get back.

She didn't see Bucky all that much, though they did end up apologizing to each other. Mainly because it felt so weird to throw jabs and stay mad at each other for long. Plus, Bucky had been rather nervous, and pushing everything from the night before aside, Ana offered to help him. She went through breathing exercises, reminded him that their mission has nothing to do with Hydra. So the chance of running into someone is very, very low. He was still nervous though.

Before he left, Bucky had grabbed her hand, brought it up to his mouth and left Ana with a soft press of his lips against her knuckles. It felt loaded with another apology and gratefulness. His eyes had pinned her to the spot, until his lips finally pulled back. She breathlessly wished him luck, along with the rest of them and off they went.

Currently her phone is vibrating on the counter, but her hands are busy, carefully cutting into zucchini. The buzzing stops, then starts again causing Ana to huff, putting down the knife to grab her phone. It's Tony. Who is currently on the mission. Tony who just called her twice. Tony, who is calling her a third time. A surge of panic runs up her spine; the lights flicker around her.

"Tony!?" Ana answers worriedly. "What's going on?"

"Need you to come here, preferably now, please. That'd be great." He answers curtly. There's a lot of background noise, and his voice echoes a little. He's calling from the suit.

"Aren't you dealing with-"

"Yes, and there's a lot to do with energy that's being pulled from a source we can't see. Those weapons we thought were being made, well, they're made. This guy is planning on draining the power from the entire state of New York to source said weapons, so-"

"I can't, Tony! That's not my job. I wouldn't even know how to help. I don't do field work."

"You do now. Lets go, chop chop."

"And how do you expect me to get there so quickly? I don't even know where you are." Ana explains, running to her room and slipping on the first pair of shoes she sees. She hurriedly grabs a knife hidden behind her nightstand, clipping the sheathe to the side of her pants.

"If you stop stalling and get to the roof-"

"Did you send a suit?" She catches on, opening her window to climb the stairs. "I can't fly a suit!"

"You don't have to. Get in." The line disconnects.

Ana tucks her phone in her back pocket as she steps onto the roof. Waiting there is one of the many Iron Man suits Tony has created. The rain is falling harder, soaking her black tee shirt and jeans, as she runs towards it. She carefully steps inside, instantly the suit closes around her. Her vision changes to a screen with target circles and coordinates. Tony's voice is back, having reconnected and abruptly the suit takes off.

"I need you to read this guys energy."

Ana gasps, her stomach swooping. The sensation of flying like this is very new to her. "Talk to me, what's going on? How the hell do you fly in this?"

"Wanda is down. He pulled her power from her."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He's similar to you, at least with those advanced weapons. Figured you could help with that."

"Tony, I'm a non-combatant agent! How am I suppose to help?"

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Ana." He nearly snaps. "I know you hold back and this is a time where I really need you to not."

Ana winces as she flies too close to a power plant pillar. She grits her teeth. "She is okay?"

"Nat's got her, she's fine. Away from the fight." He informs.

"Any casualties?" She can see she's coming up on the fight. The radius of the power plant looks clear of civilians.

"None."

"Anyone hurt?"

Tony doesn't respond immediately. It concerns Ana as she finally lands, several yards away from the fight. Hawkeye shoots an arrow, but whoever the man they're fighting is, blocks it with what looks like three energy whips and a beam.

"Injures?" She questions again.

She notes the guy isn't moving his feet, but no one seems to be getting close. It's then she realizes that Bucky is with them. She doesn't see him. Tony has yet to answer her.

"Stark!"

"None." Tony finally answers.

"That's a lie. Where is he?"

"Spark Plugs over there disabled the use of his metal arm."

"Let me out." Ana demands.

The suit dissembles from her body, and she's instantly dripping in rain. She assesses the situation again, running closer to the others. The man still has his feet rooted to the ground, very close to a power outlet. That's where it's coming from, behind the building. Iron Man's suit is suddenly flying next to her, as is Sam.

"What is she doing here?" Sam asks, bringing in his wings and running beside her.

"Bringing us dinner." Tony quips. Ana can hear his eye roll. "She's the only one who can stop the energy he's collecting. He's draining the suit of power every time I get close."

"He's pulling it from the ground." Ana informs, coming to a stop behind a nearby tree.

She's close enough now to feel the heat of the white beams coming from the whips and the man's body. She sees Steve rebound a beam with his shield. Gun fire abruptly echoes through the night, and the bullet grazes the man’s thigh, just enough to sneak under the beams. He yelps and when he shifts, there's a break in the energy he's using. Ana can't see Bucky, but he's hiding in the shadows, doing his part despite his arm. Relief floods throughout her body, knowing that he's safe.

"There's a major power supply and he's standing over it. That's where he's pulling it from. Enhancing whatever he already has in his body." Ana relays.

"Can you stop it?" Sam questions.

"I have to get close enough." She tells him. "He's literally pulling all of the kinetic energy out of the air, how have you guys been fighting? The air feels so thin."

"Not very well." Tony answers, "Sluggish I’d say. Bad performance review. Probably a 32 percent on Rotten Tomato. Not all of us are equipped with energy sensing tingles.”

Ana rolls her eyes. "I need a distraction to get close. I think I can stop it, but I need to touch him to do so."

"We'll give you air support." Tony assures her. "Wilson."

"On it!" Sam opens his wings and takes off.

"I only brought a knife to an energy beam shooting fight, Tony. There's only one chance for this."

"He's got your back." He promises, then takes off.

It takes her a second to realize he's not taking about Sam. Ana runs on her toes, staying as quiet and stealthy as she can. The man abruptly turns though, and if it wasn't for another gun shot, pulling his attention back to the previous spot, he would have seen her. She knows exactly who has her back.

Ana slows, beginning to let her walls down, feeling the energy crackling through the air as she gets closer. If this guy is pulling everyone's kinetic energy, Ana pulls it from him. It's burning at her skin, sizzling in the air and she can see it. A faint blueish gray hovering very close to the man's back. There's gunfire from above as well as a beam from the suit. Steve throws his shield, and Clint fires another arrow. The shield is blocked, ricochets off a blast of energy and back into Cap's arm. The arrow lands by the mans feet a second before it explodes. It's small, but it's the perfect distraction, causing the his feet to finally move.

She can hear Tony banter with the guy, and the fighting has stopped for the moment. Ana doesn't pay any attention, instead she focuses on slowly pulling the electric air into her hands. She breathes in slowly, lifting her hands, inching closer. She shuffles her feet forward, over the spot where the man was previous standing and feels the power source beneath her, surging and amping up her own abilities. It's now or get blasted by a beam.

Ana exhales, placing her fingertips on the man's back as she pushes the energy forward. A bright blue light shoots from her hands, propelling the man forward into the air. It cuts all ties to his weapons, the electric whips dying out. The man scrambles to get up, blood falling from the corner of his eye. He spots Ana, a sneer on his lips. He flexes his hands, and suddenly the whips sizzle back to life. He slams them on the ground and a burst of power knocks Steve and Clint off their feet, and Tony and Sam of course in the sky. Ana steadies her footing, absorbing the current through the ground.

"Was wondering where they were hiding you. The Energy Alchemist." The man calls, advancing on Ana. "You know we're the same, you and I." The air crackles around them as he get closer.

"I doubt it." Ana scoffs. She feels his power radiating off his skin, and Ana needs to touch him once more. She steps closer. "But why don't you enlighten me by monologuing?"

"Clever girl." The man smirks. Louder he says, "If your friends get any closer, you'll meet the end of the whip, not sure you’d be able to survive how much power I give it."

The threat is enough to stop everyone in their tracks. Clint has an arrow poised at the ready, as does Tony with his palm up, beam ready to fire, Sam ready with Red Wing if needed. Steve seems to be debating taking a chance to protect her with the shield. It's defensive positions he can see. What he doesn't see, is Bucky hiding away somewhere high, between the trees. Another shot is fired, this time with intent to hit a target, which happens to be the man's shoulder, bullet lodged in the joint.

He jerks forward with a shout, dropping one of the whips, opening his stance. He barely glances over his shoulder, and Ana takes the opportunity, running straight at him. He turns just in time to see, but she drops down, sliding between his legs, and popping up behind him. She thrusts her hands onto his back and pulls at his energy, opening that part of her own ability. He gasps the same time Ana does. She digs her fingers into his body, holding on and draining his energy. It's too much to take in at once, but Ana holds on tightly, gritting her teeth.

The man is slowly sinking to the ground, his breaths getting shorter by the second. He releases both whips, hands relaxing, head dropping. Ana feels all extra power draining from his bones into her own body. He finally falls to the ground as Ana stumbles. She clenches her fists, slowly stepping away from he man, still breathing.

Her entire body is shaking, hot and buzzing with the pent up energy she stole, kinetic at that, and she has to release it. Release it somewhere that isn't near the plant and her friends. If they're caught in the blast, well. Ana's body is heating up, the whips on the ground suddenly fire up again. She sways, some of the power churning the air around her. It's too much to hold. Her blood is boiling, her skin prickling, and the air cracks around her, tinting blue and gold through the inky sky.

"Ana!" Someone calls from the distance.

Ana shakes her head, but the movement also shakes the foundation of the power plant. Iron Man is suddenly next to her, catching her as she falls sideways. He steadies her, and Ana places her hands on the suit. Everything she just took rushes out of her as she channels it into the arc reactor. Tony abruptly releases her, stumbling back. Ana regains her footing, staring at him as he opens his face mask.

"Did you just power my suit?" He questions, looking a mix of bewildered and impressed.

Ana nods. She's no longer trembling, now that half the energy is in the suit.

"Needed to redirect it somewhere safe." She bends over to catch her breath, resting her hands on her knees.

"That was interesting." Clint states, placing a hand on her shoulder.

The rain is still coming down, having soaked every part of her. There are wet, running footsteps coming towards her, when she remembers that someone was injured. Ana picks her head up, wet strands of her hair falling over her eyes, to see Bucky standing in front of her.

There's a deep cut on his forehead, blood watery from the rain, dripping down his temple and off his beard. His left arm is hanging uselessly at his side. His wet hair sticks to the side of his face, and Ana really wants to push the strands aside, just to make sure he doesn't have any more cuts. Bucky drops the automatic riffle in his hand to the wet ground, reaching out for her.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" He demands angrily, gripping her elbow, fire burning in his eyes.

"Told you." Clint mutters to someone.

Ana ignores him, narrowing her eyes at Bucky. "No, I'm fine, all good, thanks." She snaps. "Just completely drained that dude of all energy and in return, directed his into Tony's suit. I'm all good."

"You didn't think that was dangerous?" Bucky counters, glaring at her.

"What about your arm there, Sergeant Snowflake?"

He levels her with an unimpressed look. "Still had your back, didn't I?"

Ana smiles softly at him. "Yeah."

"Jesus, you two are worse than love-struck teens." Clint inputs. He takes his hand off her shoulder. "She's fine." He informs everyone else, and walks away.

"I hate him sometimes." Ana mumbles. She straightens up, grabbing Bucky's forearm to steady herself. "Let me see."

“Think he fried some wires, threw off the calibration.” Bucky informs her.

She picks up his heavy left arm with both hands, and the grip on her elbow tightens, as to make sure she doesn't fall over. Ana examines the metal, the rain making tiny tinkering noises. Steve, after helping Sam tie up the still unconscious man, comes up next to her.

"How was he able to do that?" He inquires.

"Can we do this out of the rain?" Sam speaks up, sounding less than pleasant.

"Called Romanoff, should be here in two minutes." Tony says.

"Just give me a minute." Ana scolds them, bringing Bucky's arm closer to her face.

She closes her eyes. She gathers the very last of what she can feel still buzzing inside her, what she didn't give over to Tony's suit. They don't have to know that to fully restore the workings of the arm, Ana has to use some of her own energy as well. Whatever she took from the man had enough kinetic power to remain inside her body. Ana opens her eyes, squeezes her hands, and quite literally feels the electrical shock emitting from her fingers.

There's a flash of golden blue light around her hands and arms, and the sound of soft mechanical whirring comes to life. Ana continues to channel it into his arm, until the metal slates shift together, then releases his arm. Bucky wiggles his fingers, then swings his arm around in a circle, his range of motion coming back. He smiles proudly at her.

Ana's knees buckle. Both him and Steve are quick to catch her, holding her up. They're saying something to her, but she can't hear them. Either due to the sudden rushing of blood to her ears or the loud engine of the Quinjet coming to get them. Her eyelashes flutter against the raindrops, which are suddenly blocked by a pair of blue eyes starring at her in concern. Ana sees Buckys lips moving, a crease on his brow. She still can't make out what he's saying but she's suddenly out of the rain and laying on something solid.

With the last ounce of strengthen left, Ana lifts her hand. She weakly swipes her thumb over Bucky's face. The wound is still bleeding, but he seems to be fine. Ana's hand drops down, and her vision blackens.

***

When Ana wakes up, she's laying on a rather uneven surface, body weighed down with blankets. She stares up at a white ceiling, lights patterned in a way that isn't the same as the other rooms of the compound. Ana slowly sits up, and realizes it's because she's in the medical ward. Her skin feels itchy. She notices then that there's an IV in her hand, and little heart monitoring pad on her pulse points and chest. She makes to take them off.

"If you think about pulling those out, Barnes will come over here and pin you down. Although, I don't think you'd be opposed to that."

Ana glares to her left. "Tony."

Tony sits up in his chair. He looks tired, like he was up all night and Ana has no idea how long she's been out for. He pushes a cup of water on the bedside table closer to her. Grateful, she takes it, and drinks the entire cup down.

"Your heart rate dropped dangerously low on the carrier." He informs her casually, taking the empty cup back. "You had an extremely high fever as well. Everything is normal now, but you've been out for 24 hours."

Ana slumps back against the pillows. There's only one thing going through her mind right now. "It isn't because I fixed his arm." She states firmly. "He knows that right?"

"You think he believes that?"

A huff.

"I knew it would be too much for you." Tony admits. “Shouldn't have asked for help."

"Stop that. Don't do that. If I really didn’t want to help I wouldn’t have gone. I'm fine now. I was just overwhelmed. Too much too soon. I haven’t drained energy like that on that big a scale."

Tony leans over and fist pumps her knuckles. "Good job though, girly. Proud of you."

Ana smiles at him. Tony is mostly all snark and quips, but the fondness and worry in his eyes says so much more. He's seen Ana at her worst, close to death. Has seen her break down sobbing after her brother's funeral. Has seen her so incredibly angry that all the lights and glass shattered in her apartment. They have a special connection, the two of them. Ana knows Tony is more concerned, and probably relieved than anyone else. Or, almost everyone.

"How long do I have to stay here?" She ends up asking. She looks over at her vitals chart. Everything seems normal.

"Until Janice gives you the all clear." Tony answers. "They just want to make sure you remain stable. You absorbed too much energy into your body."

Ana nods. "How's Bucky? He was bleeding wasn't he?"

A smirk lifts the corner of Tony's mouth. He nods his head up. Ana follows his nod and on the opposite side of the room is Bucky. There's still blood on the left side of his face, but Ana can't tell if its fresh or dry. Which means, if she had been out for the past twenty- four hours, Bucky hadn’t let anyone tend to him.

***

"It's fine, Ana." Bucky assures her. “It’ll heal in no-”

"Hush and let me put this on." She scolds, carefully placing the butterfly band-aid over the cut. She had been cleared of normal vitals after her usual vitamin shot and made a beeline towards Bucky.

"You need to rest. Still not happy that he called for your help."

Ana rolls her eyes, tossing the wrapper away. "He wouldn't have done so if he didn't need it. I swear, you and him both are like overprotective mothers."

"But you're not..." He trails off.

"I'm not- I'm not what? Hmm? Say it. I dare you." She threatens. If he says what she thinks he is going to say, probably something about not being trained enough or an Avenger, she will lose it.

"I just don't want you getting hurt. Draining your energy is enough, don't you think?"

"You know I've literally been attacked in my own home before. If someone is going to hurt me, they'll get to me wherever I am."

"Like hell they will." Bucky responds with fire in his voice.

Ana steps back to stare at him. The blues of his eyes are shinning, but looks fierce, protective, and it's a look she is growing use to. She knows how he feels though, because she has the same feelings when it comes to him. They are very protective over each other, and she doesn't know exactly when that happened, but it did, and it's not going away any time soon.

"Bucky." Ana exhales. He closes his eyes, gently grabs her hips and pulls her close. He drops his head to her shoulder. Ana weaves her fingers through is damp hair.

"Don't you know by now, how much I care about you." Bucky admits, his breath fanning over her skin. "I know I shouldn't. I have no right to-"

"If you start with the self depreciating shit I will disable your arm again." She threatens softly.

He laughs against her shoulder. When he looks back up, air catches in her lungs. Her heart begins to pick up speed, and the fluttering of her stomach is back. Her mind is suddenly thrown back to a few days ago when he kissed her so fiercely on the roof. They haven't spoken about it since their talk in his room, but Ana can still taste him on her tongue, can still feel the burn of his beard, the grind of his hips. She desperately wants to taste him again. If he even wants to.

Ana brushes her fingers through his hair again, pushing back the strands that fell over the cut. Bucky's hands fall further down her hips, fingers slipping under her shirt. She tilts her head down, cupping his jaw, watching his lips part slightly. He turns his head just a fraction, pressing his lips to the palm of her hand. Maybe he does want it.

"Ana, Fury would like a word with you." Steve's voice interrupts the moment. Ana steps back as Bucky drops his hands. Steve just steps into the room, stopping when he see their expression. He raises an eyebrow but remains silent.

"I'll go see him." Ana states, trying to will down the flush of her cheeks.

She hurries out of the room, not glancing back at Bucky, and avoiding Steve's gaze.

************************************************************************************

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#bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #delicate stages #my fic

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andremarcusburky · 6 years

Text

Summer camp kids - Nolan Patrick

A/N: So I went with Nolan for this one but I had a lot of votes for several others so I'm gonna try to come up with a new fit idea and I'll write about them at that point alright?

Plot: basically you a Nolan met as kids on summer camp and were really cute and now you meet in the future and you don't recognize each other really but you’ll see what happens

masterlist

part 2 [3] [4]

The nine year old never wanted to go to summer camp, she really just wanted to spend the summer at home with her friends and family. However, with her single mother having to work and her grandma in the hospital with a broken hip, that would not be the case. So she was sent off for eight weeks of ‘non-stop fun’ as they said.

The camp had looked nice. The cabins they slept in were fairly new at the time and there was a nice lake nearby for the children to swim in. They were going to have campfires and outdoors-activities every day.

Unfortunately, the girl had an unfortunate accident the very first day. She accidentally pushed one of the other girls into the lake as she tripped on the docks, and she was unlucky enough to have pushed the bully. As one of the leaders were present, the bully had not said or done anything to the girl after her mistake. But as they walked back to the cabins, the girl found herself being pushed into a puddle of mud, her white shirt instantly brown and yucky. Everyone had laughed and the girl started crying. That night, when everyone was attending the first bonfire, the girl hid by a tree on a hill, crying to herself.

“Are you okay?” a voice had appeared from nowhere. The girl had been joined by a boy, he was about her age. As the girl cried, the boy comforted her, telling her that she shouldn't care about the other kids. He told her they’d all make a fool out of themselves at some point during the summer and everyone will laugh at them too. No one were to remember what happened the first day. The girl had felt better after that, and the girl and boy started talking. It had turned out that they were the perfect match. What one of them lacked, the other one made up for. Ones strength was the others weakness. When one of them hated a certain candy, the other one loved it. They were able to share just about anything during that summer. When the boy was struggling with nightmares, the girl had snuck into his cabin to make sure he wouldn't have to sleep alone. The bully had played a few more tricks over the week, but the boy was always there to comfort the girl whenever it was needed. They were quite the pair, maybe even a match made in heaven.

The young boy dreamed of becoming a professional hockey player, and they girl wanted to be an artist. Her painting skills were very unusual for a nine year old actually. Sometimes the two of them would sit by the lake, the girl drawing different things and the boy would either fish or throw rocks into the lake. One time, the boy caught the girl drawing him. She had blushed and felt very embarrassed, but the boy had loved the drawing. He even requested to keep it, which she allowed. He made her sign it, saying that it was one day going to be worth a lot of money. So she wrote “Y/N” on it with the best handwriting she could muster. She had given him his first kiss after that, which also happened to be her first. He had blushed, which was one of her favorite things about him. Because when he did, there was a patch in the middle of his cheek which stayed his natural skin color. And it was often shaped like a heart.

As the eight weeks were starting to come to an end, the pair knew that they weren’t going to be able to see each other a lot. But they still promised each other that they were never going to forget one another, that they’d meet again someday. Both of them believed fiercely in destiny, and they knew they were meant for each other. So the boy snuck into one of the girls cabins and stole a plastic ring from the bully, which he offered to the girl, asking her to marry him one day in the future. It was both revenge for the bullying, but also a promise that he would one day find her. The girl had said yes, and she hid the ring until she came home so the bully wouldn't find it. They had both cried during their last day, not wanting to leave each others sides.

“I will find you, I promised you that.” he had told her

“I know, and we’ll be together. One day” she had said back.

They hadn't said goodbye after that. They simply said “see you in the future” before hopping on their buses and going home to their families. Y/N and Nolan had an amazing summer, which they both still remember to this day, but it didn't take many years before they both accepted defeat. It was an adorable childhood story, but they were sure they were never going to meet each other again.

Y/N looked up at the tall building which she was spending the next few years walking to and from. She went inside to register to the art school she had been so excited about, but now she felt like she might throw up. Her mother had her doubts about pursuing a career as an artist, she even made a powerpoint of the most famous artist of all time. But it did not contain their excellent work, instead she pointed out who was an alcoholic, tho was melancholic, who commited suicide and who was poor only to be famous once dead. Her mother was a work of art herself, all of Y/Ns friends called them the Gilmore girls, claiming that the two of you were just like the girl and her mom in the series.

Y/N had eventually convinced her mother, saying that she would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn't at least try. So here she was, registering to the University of the arts in Philadelphia. Being from Toronto, this was all very exciting. An entirely new city in a different country was a big deal for Y/N. Her first step to independence as she was actually meant to take care of herself for the upcoming years. That meant feed herself, wash her own clothes and act like an adult. It was exciting, but also terrifying.

Registration went by smoothly and before she knew it, she was unpacking her things in her dorm. The nerves were still there, so she picked up a pen and paper and started doodling silly things, something that usually helped.

The next day started with a trip to the closest starbucks. Being a coffee addict, this was her number one priority. While waiting for her order, her mother called. She talked to her mom while receiving her coffee, and was too swept up in telling the mother about the school while not spilling her drink to look where she was walking. She just managed to stop herself from walking straight into a boy who also hadn't been looking in front of him.

“Woah! Sorry, didn't see you there.” he said, looking down at the girl who he almost knocked over.

“No worries, I wasn't paying attention either” she replied, smiling at the boy. She had to admit, he was cute. But there was something else as well, he was familiar. She couldn't really put her finger on what it was, but it felt like she’d seen him somewhere. She brushed it off though, thinking he probably just looked like someone she knew.

He excused himself once more and smiled at the girl before moving past her to order his coffee. She was cute, really cute. And somewhat familiar. He realized he should have asked for her name, maybe her number. As he turned around though, she’d left the coffee shop and she was now gone.

The first month of school went by quickly. Y/N made friends and went through good and bad days due to some of her teachers being very critical, while others seemed to love her work. She tried to take it lightly though, remembering her mothers powerpoint of artists whose art wasn't considered good until they were dead. Though she hoped she’d live to see some success.

She’d woken up pretty late, having the morning off. She was texting a friend of hers as she came to the coffeeshop, not looking where she was headed as she walked straight into some dude. Looking up she couldn't help but laugh as she looked into the eyes of the familiar-looking guy from about a month ago.

Nolan looked at the person he’d walked into and a smile grew on his face as he saw the pretty girl.

“I like running into you like this” he joked. She smiled, so he was pretty happy.

“Me too, I'm sorry for my clumsiness though” she said, putting her phone in her back pocket. Nolan didn't really know what to say or do, his only intention was to not let her slip away this time.

“can i... buy you a coffee?” he asked and scratched the back of his neck.

“okay.. Nolan” she said after taking a look at the writing on his coffee mug. He asked for her name as they went to the line. “It’s Y/N” she said, this time taking a good look at the boy. He was pretty tall and well built, his hair was kinda long and he had the most heartwarming smile she’d ever seen.

“Is that a Canadian accent?” he asked. “Yeah I’m from Toronto” she told him. It turned out that Nolan too was from Canada, and they immediately started talking about their home country and all the things that the US was lacking. Y/N got her coffee and they exited the coffeeshop together, still talking. It was easy, the conversation just floated naturally. Y/N told Nolan about her art school and the mean professor who’d basically told her she had no chance of becoming a ‘real artist’ and Nolan told her he’s a hockey player. He didn't really get into specifics, he didn't say he played in the nhl, but it didn't really seem important at the time.

Before parting ways, they exchanged numbers after Nolan said he needed a Canadian friend in the city, as if he didn't have enough on the team. He then walked off towards his home with a bright smile on his face. He thought for hours, trying to write a simple text message. “Wanna grab lunch someday?” is what he ended up with, and the two made plans for a few days later.

“I’ll have the cajun chicken pasta, please” The waitress grabbed their menus and left, leaving Nolan and Y/N to fend for themselves. He was nervous, really nervous actually. It wasn't clear to either one if this was a date or not, but they both had their hopes. It was silent for a couple seconds before Nolan asked her about the mean professor, her head quickly dropping as a groan escaped her lips. She started ranting about the class she’d had that day and how her sun simply wasn't good enough.

“Im sorry but isn't a sun just a yellow circle? How could anyone mess that up? Wait did you draw lines coming out of the sun, like kids do?” Y/N laughed at the boy’s humor as she felt a little bit lighter in her chest. When lunch was over Nolan had quickly grabbed the bill, making Y/N protest.

“Im the one who asked you on a date, so I pay” he insisted. A smirk grew on Y/Ns lips. “So this is a date, then?”

Nolan blushed, shyly looking up at the girl. “Well if you don't want it to be it doesn't have to be, but thats what I intended at least” he said, his low voice sending shivers down Y/Ns spine. “No, I want it to be a date. But next one’s on me”

“Oh, so there’s gonna be a second date then?” his comeback made her blush as well. After lunch the two went to a nearby park to take a walk. They sat at a bench located under a tree as they talked.

“Can I see something you’ve done? Like art wise, that is” Nolan asked. Y/N was a bit shy about her work, but always tried to expand her boundaries. “Yeah, I guess” she said as she took her notebook from her bag.

“This is mostly just doodles but its something so..” she trailed off as the boy took the book from her hands. He looked through it and pointed to his favorites. He especially loved the old, angry man who took up an entire page. “Oh yeah, thats my professor” Y/N said, making Nolan laugh out loud.

As he turned to the next page though, a big smirk etched onto his face. Y/N was great at drawing, so when she tried to make out someones features, she succeeded. There was no question that the boy who’d taken up the entire next page was Nolan himself. She had completely forgotten about the drawing she’d made after their first meeting. Y/N quickly tried to grab her notebook, but Nolan had a firm grip on it as he tried his best to keep it.

“No, no! I like it, I really do” he exclaimed as he saw a blush covering her face. “I mean it, I do like it” he seemed sincere as he looked into her eyes, trying to get the point across that she was fine. Y/N eventually let go and tried to explain that she sometimes just drew whatever she’d seen during the day and he just nodded along, pretending to understand.

“Can I keep it?” he asked, surprising her. He smiled fondly at her before looking down on the page again. “Sure” she said before ripping the page out.

“But you have to sign it though” he protested. “This is gonna make me a million bucks one day”.

Y/N laughed but put her name in one of the bottom corners. Nolan squinted his eyes and looked deep in thought as he saw her signature, sure that he’d seen it somewhere else. But he pushed it to the back of his mind before giving her back the notebook.

let me know if you want a part two

#Nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #flyers #philadelphia flyers #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #Nolan patrick x reader #summer camp kids

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