#he has no hands | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sagau-my-beloved · 1 year

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Cursed

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#he has no hands

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mckinlily · 6 months

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Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

#batman #bruce wayne #laws of this dc universe say Gotham is always a hellcity #and bruce wayne is always filthy rich #bruce wayne is fighting with everything he has against both those facts #he’s not going to win #but he’s not going to stop either #bruce crying with fistfuls of money in his hands: take it. PLEASE #the public: donate more???

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wasabi-gumdrop · 8 days

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local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

#i’ve seen so many interpretations of that 1 hr freeze frame of Kabru’s smile in ep 16 #he’s meeting his long time crush of course he’s trying to charm him #Kabru so obviously has a big fat giant crush on Laios #like atp in the story he’s tried to talk to him and get his attention so many times agjdjajdj #Laios is the human rubix cube he’s been searching for his entire life #everyone else is almost too easy for Kabru to pin down #Laios on the other hand … a treasure trove of autistic mystery #Kabru is so locked in #Kabru used signature move: charming smile #Laios: no effect!#there’s something so beautiful about the popular pretty boy entering his fumble era when his one true love turns out to be autistic #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #wasabi rambles #seen so many clock that smile as nefarious and machiavellian #baby no Kabru is just dialing the charm up to 100 and what we’re all feeling is second hand embarrassment LMAO

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keymintt · 8 months

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a comic/zine about coyotes

#art #comic #coyotes #comics #my art #digital #zine #idk what else to tag this if anything #i just think coyotes are so fucking cool and excellent queer symbolism. if you think about it #< he has thought about it so fucking much #shoutout to the handful of ppl who kept me company on stream last night too hehe #sorry if you get a version with typos they should all be corrected by now. i unfortunately have adhd and made this in two days #busted out all the illustrations for this in...one night for phx zine fest lmaO #our group found out two days before we were tabling that we got taken off the waitlist. had fun today tho #greatest hits

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thepictoblr · 8 months

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In a surprising twist that I think no one saw comming from early access, Astarion and Halsin are like totally opposite ends of whatever gay motherfucker spectrum theyre on

Astarion presents himself as alluring, flirty, desirable, sexually available, ect ect, but it's entitely preformative. If given a choice he'd happily go without it all for as long as he can.

Meanwhile Halsin is the most regular, sober, sensible dude ever who probably smells like damp leaves and dirt, and then he just show up one night like "i wanna fuck nasty like the oak father intended"

#tav has 2 hands #astarion #halsin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #good for both of them btw im glas astarion learns hes allowed to say no #and im glad halsin learns hes allowed to tend to himself

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yourangle-yuordevil · 5 months

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what if we flirted at the gentlemen club 😳 (and we were both flirting) 😞❤️😞Discreet Gentlemen's Club

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #Headcanon time: All the dancers at the Gentlemen Club fell in love with Mr. Fell at one point because he is such a cutie <3 #and Aziraphale calls Crowley to investigate because he doesn't realize that he's too cute for this world #and instead thinks that his fellow dancers are being tempted!!!!????#And Crowley just snort laugh for ages while he watches Aziraphale flirt with all the gentlemens without even realizing that he's flirting #the day that Crowley and Aziraphale leaves Portland together #they go to say goodbye at the Gentlemen's club #and all the Gentlemen; after saying goodbye to Aziraphale #shakes Crowley's hand with a knowing look of “Respect to you sir; you managed to charm Mr. Fell. Good for you”#and Crowley looks back at them behind his glasses like ????????????#good omens comic #historical husbands #discreet gentlemen's club #ALSO:#fumetto che deve MORIRE 🤗#perchè ha osato esplodere mentre salvavo 🤗#mandando a puttane tutto il lineart 🤗#aspetta come si dice???? BRUCIAAAAAAA 🤗#🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

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ghost-bxrd · 1 month

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Let’s amp up the “Jason says ow and the batfam thinks he must be gravely injured” headcanon.

Jason calls Bruce or Dick for fun and says nothing but “goodbye” before hanging up (maybe it’s a dare by Roy who TOTALLY suspects the reaction Jay is gonna get).

Ten minutes late the entire Justice League is scouring Gotham, on the hunt for Jason.

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altades · 3 months

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Weeping angel

#trigun #artists on tumblr #vashwood #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #alt art #the fear he makes you feel and tge compassion he has for you #a gentle hand capable of so much destruction

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chloesimaginationthings · 2 months

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FNAF movie Mike vs Vanny on ordering pizzaplex food

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #fnaf vanny #fnaf vanessa #fnaf #security breach #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Mike and Vanny definitely have different approaches to the wrong order #now that Mike knows Vanny’s secret he has to help her hold back her rage #Nessa here is already intense as is without being evil mode #least she has Mike to cool her down #she’s never gonna stab him so it’s actually fool proof #though Glitchtrap is not happy BAHA #DUDE by this point despise this sleepy guy #ALSO staff bots mentioned!! let’s get a hand for the pizzaplex staff bots 🩵🩵

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bigfatbreak · 3 months

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In your villain dad au, does Tom have any male admirers?

#my art #dad villain au #tom dupain cheng #marinette dupain cheng #jagged stone #fang keeps coming around the bakery whenever he escapes bc marinette is there #and he wikes her <3 #on the other hand tom has supervillain energy when he's pissed off and thats extremely punk <3 so jagged is all eyes around this man

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frownyalfred · 2 months

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I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.

Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.

(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)

#rambling thoughts sorry #bruce wayne #batman #Clark kent #superman #Lois lane #clois #dc #dc comics #I just hc Clark can’t listen to Lois scream #or be in pain #because with him around she’s never in danger she doesn’t have to be #but this is another beast #he just has to sit there and watch it happen #Lois knows this #so she called Bruce #also she needed the satisfaction of breaking someone’s hand from squeezing #Bruce breaks his fingers every other patrol so this barely fazed him

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floq · 4 months

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they are both addicted to caffeine, but in different ways

[ID in alt text]

#danny stays all night fighting ghosts and he drinks energy drinks compulsively in an attempt to stay awake in class #he’s audhd though and caffeine tends to have the opposite effect on him #in the other hand Jazz has become addicted to coffee while in college #classic college student style #danny phantom #dp #danny fenton #jazz fenton #my art

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bruciemilf · 1 month

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Headcanon that Thomas Wayne was an absolute POWERHOUSE in the kitchen. That guy could make air taste like paradise. Alfred, the absolute IMPOSTER, uses his recipes to impress the bat kids.

Of course a Sicilian New Jersian who smoked 2 packs a week came up with Jason’s favorite marinara sauce and not a goddam British guy who’s favorite meal is tea and biscuits.

The batkids find a picture of tiny Bruce with a little chef hat on his dad’s arm, face full of marinara sauce, half asleep cause the kitchen’s so warm and smells like pure Nirvana

However, Bruce, like Alfred, had no idea about flavor, cause he was more than adamant about dining at Maroni’s restaurant.

Thomas: I can make you a fresh lasagne at home

Bruce: but this lasagna comes with a toy :/

Thomas, watching his disappointment of a child (Bruce is 3) eat that frozen pile of reheated shit Maroni calls food:

#baby Bruce gave his dad the gray hairs #batfamily #alfred pennyworth #damian demands he’s handed his jiddi’s recipe container. his other grandfather has cheated his trust.#bruce wayne #baby bruce wayne #thomas wayne #dc #dc comics #duc #text post

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zosanbrainrot · 1 month

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part 2 of Zoro in WCI

01 02

I tried to write something to sum up my thoughts on this, but then it got longer and longer and tbh I'm itching to write a fic set in this AU djjdkf I think I could develop on their inner feelings more than in the comic form

Before posting the first part I didn't realize people had such strong opinions on how this would play out lmaooo

imo, of course Zoro wants to fight Sanji, not with actual intent to harm (they threaten each other on the daily, come on), but because that's how they are together, how they communicate. He respects Luffy's decisions and their goal here, which is to learn what's really going on with Sanji, but he's gonna be pissy about it all he wants. They both have so many intense and conflicted feelings about this and neither has any idea how to resolve them. So they fight.

ofc yall are free to headcanon this interaction any other way you want <333

#hope you can hear the moment Sanji's heart shatters #you're walking the painful path you chose and then even this stupid marimo instead of playing your usual game of threats and violence #instead of making this easier for you he pierces right through your heart with the tiniest confession #I never hated you #but even if he didn't use to #he sure as hell despises every inch of you now #he must he has to #but this is what you chose #it is what you deserve #ANGST #PAIN #wci zoro au #obvi if I were to write it wouldnt write first person this just got out of hand #i love angst can you tell #zosan #i love keeping them in the 'what if maybe no he would never' hell #roronoa “i love you but I will take these feelings with me to the grave” zoro #blackleg “I need you to hate me because I simply don't deserve to be loved” sanji #rorona zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #zoro #my art #whole cake arc #whole cake island #one piece #one piece fanart

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radiance1 · 3 months

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The Justice League have a problem, one that needs some level of knowledge and expertise of a being from the Infinite Realms to give them a better chance of actually solving this problem.

However.

Every ghost they have summoned, without fail, took one look at Constantine. Squinted (yes, squinted). Then decided to go back to where they came without a word.

This. Would have been useful, nice even. If it was a situation where they needed the summoned being of a cult to head back to where they came without a fight.

But alas, that is not what is happening.

The Justice League, obviously, ask him why the ghosts keep fleeing back to their Realm at the sight of him, but Constantine can't answer because he genuinely has no idea why they keep leaving when getting a proper look at him.

So they keep trying and they do find some success in it. They summoned a boy, most likely older than he physically looks yet it still puts some of them off because of, well.

You know.

A boy with white hair and toxic green eyes. The boy stops short, as if not expecting to be randomly transported to somewhere else, takes a look around the room, then the Justice League. His eyes settle on one person.

Constantine, in particular.

He squints (Why do all of them squint? Nobody knows) and then a sudden looking of realization passes on his face. Different from the looks of vague fear and genuinely want to not involve themselves any further, his face held slight disgust and a heavy amount of disappointment.

Thankfully, he didn't leave immediately after that.

Constantine asks what's with the look on the ghost boy's face, the ghost boy in question squints even further. Stares at Constantine for a moment or two, buries his face in his hands and brings his knees to his hand and groans out.

"He could've done so much better."

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Yes this is vaguely tied to that other post about Vlad turning good and taking Constantine as his crush and boyfriend while Danny is like:#“Dude you exchanged THAT for my MOTHER?”#And tells Vlad he could do so #So #Much better #But Vlad is smitten #Anyways #The ghosts just leave after seeing Constantine because of Vlad #Like he may or may not have threatened a high number of them at the same time to not lay a hand on him #The ghosts #For their part #Don't want to involve themselves with the reclusive one #The outgoing one (Danny) is cool but the reclusive one (Vlad) kinda scary #Has generally bad vibes #And is ruthless #So they'll avoid incurring his wrath for this random human who they most likely won't ever meet again thank you very much #Right I just thought of this but #His Vulture underlings are also like:#“Boss please you could do so much better.”#While Vlad is making cheese

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pinkiemme · 4 days

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Red-handed

#emmeart #the clone wars #star wars #arc trooper echo #the bad batch #he has ears #and a hand #I adore him #the bad batch spoilers #kinda #echo tbb

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