#fuck i wanna ruin him
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Hi, uh, could I request some headcannons for reader manhandling Neville?
(first time requesting lol)
OH MY GOD YES THIS IS SO- I might make this a fic cuz I never realized how much I love this concept until right now.
Let's get this straight Neville may be the softest little sweetheart to the outside world, but with you? WHORE
warning; nsfw !!
You honestly didn't see it coming. Because he's so quiet? The first time you had sex with any kind of dynamic, he just moaned out begging to be choked. And of course, you gave in.
Sometimes he worries you because he can and will start crying every time you're rough with him so you're constantly asking his color and it's always an enthusiastic "green" (we'll say almost always; more on that in a sec)
When I tell you Nev cannot get enough of you pulling his hair. Especially if you're pegging him and you pull his hair to bring his head closer to you so you can whisper the dirtiest things in his ears- merlin.
He gets so floaty when you manhandle him. It makes him feel weirdly safe? You're the only person who he enjoys getting hurt by. He knows he can trust you and can bring his guard down with you.
He loves being bit and bruised by you. He's so sensitive and feeling your skin on his teeth- he could cum right then and there!
Or, if you grab him real hard on his thighs or waist and you leave little fingertip bruises? He gets so subby just seeing them :( .
Speaking of hickeys, he feels so naughty (in the best way possible) knowing his body is all marked up underneath his conservative dress. All his hickeys, scratches, and bruises, only for you to see...
I don't see him being into impact play. Especially not being slapped, maybe a cheeky spank here and there but nothing too much.
You had to find that out the hard way... You tried to slap him once without warning and you could tell immediately he was not into it. You had to stop the scene and apologize.
I DO think he likes groping though, if you two are alone he loves feeling vulnerable with you and just getting felt up by you at random times. I've seen concepts where the sub would wear a collar that signified that they were "free-use" for their dom to toy with at any time and I think Neville would be ALL over that.
Just a reminder I have an ask event going on for 500 followers for anyone interested!
requests are open!
#💌; wishline.txt#sub!neville longbottom#dom!reader#neville longbotton x reader#harry potter fanfiction#neville longbottom#headcanon#hogwarts x reader#fuck i wanna ruin him
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Superman meets Batman for the first time and, because of his superhearing, he can tell that the man’s heart is pounding. Gosh, the poor man must be terrified, after all he does have a rule about no metas. For a human superhero, knowing other people are much stronger must be so scary! So Superman tries his best to seem small and less overwhelming, but Batmans heart rate just keeps going up! Luckily, the man seems to be speaking normally, so maybe its not a big deal? How brave of him, ignoring his fears to help people.
After the Justice League is formed, Clark finds out about Bruce’s contingency plans, and unlike the others, he’s not surprised. He’s already such a paranoid man, but being on a team full of metas, well, Clarks shocked he’s not shaking in his boots. Bruce hides his fear so well! If it wasn’t for his super hearing, he’d never know that Bruce takes a sharp inhale every time he uses his super strength, or that the mans heart starts beating like a million times a minute whenever he enters the room.
Then one day, they’re all in the Watchtower, Bruce drops the pen he was using to write out the plan for their mission, and Clark happily picks it up. As soon as he bends down, Bruce’s heart starts beating rapidly. When he straightens back up, Clarks face is bright red and he can’t meet Bruce’s eye. Is his butt scary?!?!??!
#Clark: omg he’s scared of me!! lemme soften my voice and sink in on myself to seem smaller#Bruce: fuck he’s so hot and he doesn’t even realise. i wanna ruin his innocence.#Clark is an innocent farm boy and Bruce is attracted to people who could kill him in two seconds.#dc comics#dc universe#batman comics#justice league#superman comics#superman#batman#clark kent#bruce wayne#superbat
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Request: Solomon in a kilt 👀 OR Levi in a dress
-> Levi in a dress 💜 @blithesharem
I was stuck between putting him in lace or putting him in latex, so I decided to do both :) (based on this dress)
#I think I can only draw him blushing or having a mental spiral#I am never drawing a dress like this again fuck this dress#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me leviathan#I was also considering drawing him in a virgin killer dress but idk maybe I’ll do that later#I wanna ruin him bad and call him pretty and have him cry of embarrassment#no demon form this time my sincere apologies#moodle draws
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Hehe yes let's cuck Mephisto with Luci too ~
I think he's planning a prank (or maybe sabotage?) with the anti Lucifer league and he doesn't quite get out of Lucifer's office fast enough when he hears the two of you coming. He scrambles into a closet right when you and Lucifer come in, too busy making out to notice the closet door slightly ajar.
Mephisto is disgusted at first. He can't look away, it's so horrible. He watches as you strip each other, Lucifer puts you on his desk. Your incessant moaning and his groaning...
Mephisto didn't really notice how intently he was watching, nor did he notice how hard he was until his cock throbbed at the erotic display... He palms himself, feeling dirty at enjoying such a thing but he's mesmerized and stuck in this closet anyway.
I'm so sorry I'm getting to this so late 😭 I ran to the notification when I first got it but I just could not find the spoons to respond
Godddd this whole thing is so 🥵🥵 I could not stop myself from making this into. Idk whatever this is, but anyway I need that man badly (and maybe need to make him suffer a little lmaoo)
[Nsfw obv, mdni. GN reader, voyeurism, implied cucking/getting caught at the end ehehe~]
At first, Mephisto is so disgusted by what's he's seeing. The two people he detests most— the angel traitor saved by his gracious Lord Diavolo, and the weak unworthy human representative of the exchange program— and you're locking lips like its your job, knocking into Lucifer's desk in your excitement. And of course you two would be drawn together, it's only expected that two unsavory types would be getting up to such indecent activities together. The wet noises of your mouths meeting and the way you're groping each other, it's perverse, Mephisto thinks.
He has half a mind to report you two to Lord Diavolo, what you're doing has to be a problem, right? Just thinking about it is titillating, as he remains hidden in the closet, not wanting to get caught and maybe get some good dirt on either of you. Maybe he'll get some kind of reward for alerting the Young Lord about these transgressions. In fact, maybe he'll even—
His thoughts are interrupted when you unleash a soft whimper, the sound sending shivers through his body and his heart pumping. He didn't even realize, you two had gotten partially undressed already while he was lost in thought, shirts pulled open and halfway off and Lucifer's hand disappearing beneath your waistband, the demon sucking on the side of your neck as his hand clearly worked you into a frenzy.
Suddenly it's like he can't tear his eyes away from his peeping spot in the closet, almost holding his breath just waiting for what happens next. Watching as Lucifer marks you up to satisfaction, his hand working a steady rhythm between your legs as you writhe against him, still making that delicious needy noise, before its clearly not enough for either of you. Before Mephisto can react, Lucifer has you set on his desk, tugging your bottoms down and off and working his own open just long enough to free his leaking cock, losing no time as he quickly enters you.
If Mephisto thought your prior noises were indecent, the moan you let out now is downright sinful. The noise of a rattling desk fills the air as Lucifer pumps into you, and whether it's by a miracle or a curse, Mephisto can see it all clearly. See the way you manage to fit Lucifer's cock, see the way you grasp onto the desk or onto Lucifer, whatever you can reach, as your face is twisted with pleasure. He couldn't quite make out Lucifer's face from his angle, but that was perhaps for the better.
Mephisto suddenly becomes all too aware of how tight his pants have become, a distinct need in his groin calling to him. Just the thought of stroking himself to you two is offensive, he tries to convince himself. But it's like his body can't control itself, his hand reaching down to relieve the ache anyway, not long before he's fisting his own leaking cock in time with Lucifer's thrusts into you. He can't even manage to tear his eyes away, eating up every little change in your expression and the things you respond best to.
He bites his knuckles trying to stay quiet, still trying to stay hidden until he can safely escape. But he's quickly lost to his own desires, imagining it's you he's fucking into. He'd show you how much more superior he is to Lucifer, show you what a true born-and-bred demon can do in bed. Lucifer could never compare, and he'd finally have you on your knees, begging for more, if he so wanted.
Just the thought of being the one to bring you to completion is enough to push him over the edge, hard, the climax catching him off guard. It's a miracle he manages to catch his spend in the palm of his glove before it can get on anything else. But what he fails to do is suppress the groan he makes as he cums, and his lusty haze clears quick in the following panic, looking to see if he'd been found out.
Thankfully, you'd all seemed to finish at the same time— he can't help but regret he hadn't seen your face as it happened— and you were clearly still recovering atop Lucifer's desk, the demon himself still buried deep inside you and his hips finally still. Mephisto instantly relaxes, thankful he wouldn't have to explain himself. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Lucifer of all people found out that, not only had Mephisto broken into his room, but was watching and masturbating to you two having sex like some kind of freak.
However, in his eagerness to relax, Mephisto missed the way Lucifer's lips quirked up, crimson eyes sparing the briefest glance in the direction of his closet.
#mephisto x reader#lucifer x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me mephistopheles#obey me smut#obey me shall we date#mephistopheles x reader#the minx can write ✍️#spicy minx 🔥#˗ˏˋ꒰ minx replies ꒱#i wanna ruin this man and ride him into the ground thank u for listening to my ted talk#cant believe i forgot who mc is fucking lmao
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Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list
He's:
Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)
Long-legged
Has a straight nose bridge
Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)
Has a strong jawline
Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)
Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features
Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)
Even has a thick, muscly neck
He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)
(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-
-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)
The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one
Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute
Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:
Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)
Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO
Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor
Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.
Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.
Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?
Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor
He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.
Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.
These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.
Is logical, analytical, and calm.
He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.
Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).
Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.
We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.
Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya
While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.
Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.
He actually communicates a lot
When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.
(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])
When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.
He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".
Is strong-willed and loyal.
He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.
Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.
AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.
Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.
Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.
#yes this is a bruce appreciation post#am i biased? yes. am i right that he has these features? also yes.#hes actually a very attractive person. hes got all the right features for it#plus hes smart (some medical knowledge) is really loyal strong-willed and patient#he puts up with kudo SO much#from being bossed around to taking home yoichis brother to whatever the heck kudo made him do to figure out OFA's transfer properties.....#i didnt think much of bruce originally#then i started doing resistance fic stuff and now hes a fave#hes a little blorbo#that i throw in terrible situations for my own entertainment#used his scary smile for comedy purposes#like when he made a kid cry once. or when a meta child was afraid of him so they bit him#has patience to deal with kudo and co. but also. has enough bite to snark them. is how i like writing him#oh? background character? well lemme just *picks him up* EXPAND ON THAT-#fic stuff: he tries making a good impression on a girl and kudo is ruining it immediately#he doesnt know what to do because the two always banter#kudo: fuck you#oc: fuck me yourself you coward#he sees through a rose-lens that kudo is trying to rip off his face#appeciation kinda turned analysis in general#bruce#kudo#yoichi shigaraki#bnha#mha#spoilers#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#NOT YOICHIS BROTHER. i meant Yoichi / AFO's brother in a prev tag up there but theres too much tags i dont wanna rewrite to fix that#(image limit and tag limit)
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red hood: outlaws always blessing us with shirtless jason todd
#jason todd#red hood#red hood: outlaws#jason todd x reader#jason todd x reader smut#red hood x reader#red hood x reader smut#stardust:txt#he is so fucking hot#i wanna sit on his face#i need him to ruin me
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What do you want from me? What have I done? I'm just a word processor, for Christ sake!
Griffin Dunne as Paul Hackett
AFTER HOURS (1985) dir. Martin Scorsese
#soggy beige man has decidedly un-beige night out on the town (a speedrun in pathetic suffering): the film#after hours#after hours 1985#griffin dunne#paul hackett#filmedit#mine#you're gonna have 2 forgive me for the amount of noise I used on these gifs#the quality of my copy of this film is. kinda v much so. hot dog water#but this is my sopping wet white boi of the month (year) & u all are bein forced 2 look @ him#the fluctuating state of his unibrow is smthn that can be so personal#paul: breathes#everyone collectively: maaaa put the dogs awaaaaay there's a weird fuckin stray cat outside#this guy. I wanna hang him out to dry on a balmy summer afternoon and then tuck him into bed w/exactly 5 mg of melatonin#but also#*miranda from sex and the city voice* OOOKAY linda fiorentino fucking that guy up against the chain link FENCE#his night is ruined but I could ruin it MORE. just give me ten minutes
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Daan gives me this specific vibe I see so much in series where deities like, indisputable exist in that world. Where like, he wishes he could be an atheist. I feel like if so many gods didn’t all collectively decide to fuck up this one guys life in every way possible he’d love to completely ignore their existence.
#it’s also funny how he calls himself a doctor but at a point dudes just doing healing magic#I wish the old gods like understood human language n stuff just so Daan can cuss them out#f&h#f&h daan#f&h2#f&h termina#fear and hunger#fear and hunger 2#fear and hunger termina#fear and hunger Daan#funger#funger 2#funger daan#Daan von Dutch#I can just imagine Sylvian walking into the hypothetical room being like Ok two of my devotees had this bitch ass kid I already traumatized-#-him whos next? Sulfur god be like Oh Me Me I wanna kill the two most important people in his life! Then Rehr got jealous and decided to-#- fuck up even his personal identity too#they’re way to obsessed with ruining his life tbh
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This photo was life-ruining for me(and @sweatyflytrap ) honestly....
#wanna make a comp of bahrain 2010 for both seb and nando tbh#probably seperate but#there was something in the air that weekend!!!!#i was religiously looking through seb pics from this race the other month to draw statue seb#and was super enamored w him aasjkfkgl but didnt look too much depeer cause i didnt wanna spoil the podium#and then i finally got here and damn nando looked fucking majestic on the podium#like i was absolutely dying making those gifs bcs he just looked so beautiful#<- i actually made a comp of all the close up shots bcs bark bark bark 😵💫😵💫#AND THEN I GO LOOK UP THE PICS AND MY GOD 🫠🫠 LIFE RUINING#this pic is from before race day obviously but like smth was in the air no?????#all the podium pics live in my head rent free. golden and shining and beautiful#but i also downloaded like...100 pics of him from this race so jusy this one seemed pretty baseline to post#but just know. bahrain 2010. haunts me.#as i said im so irritated it wasnt a vett/onso podium bcs my god both of them were slaying that wknd#well yeha. there's my rant. maybe ill make a comp :)#smth also that i find funny is that he was pretty stubbly for the whole wknd but then#shows up for the race itself smooth like a dolphin....HE KNEW!!! HE KNEW HE HAD TO SLAY!!! HE KNEW HE WAS GONNA BE ON THAT TOP STEP#*lmao maybe my comp post would be titled: 'pics from the 2010 bahrain gp that were life changing'#im looking back at the podium pics rn and its just insane how youthful and bright and pretty he looks#also abt this specific pic. his lashes his big cow eyes his pink lips his fluffy hair GODDDDDDDDS#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2010 bahrain gp
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Just finished my chem lab to talk about tiny dick venti.
But wait, tiny dick venti with a cock ring.
Tiny dick! Venti riding u and begging for you to take the ring off and let him cum. I know he whimpers.
-💃
Hope you did well in chem, i fucking hated that shit.
Venti’s dick is so cute and tiny its like adorable and every little touch makes him moan and tremble so much cause he is so sensitive. So when he rides you, it almost feels like a porn movie.
Eyes unfocused and glazed, tears dripping down his cheeks and his tongue lolling out. Such whorish moans it makes you go crazy. And the fact that you could see the bulge of your dick in his tummy everytime he rides you is so fucking hot!!
Like he cant help it. His smol body barely fits the head of your cock and now he is hopelessly cockdrunk, splitting himself on your dick all the while being pent up so bad. His dick looks like its about to burst and its leaking so badly, its made a huge mess on your stomach.
But you don’t want to give it to him.
You want to break him down little by little until he cant even remember his name so the moment he cums, you pray to god that he recovers soon enough cause man will pass out immediately.
Old ass boomer 🧓🏼
#.phew#sub venti#he is the cutest thing i swear#so fucking adorable just wanna ruin him#💃#venti#genshin impact
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This'll be a weird question but I've been thinking about this since I watched a video discussing hot takes within FNAF and wanna discuss it with other people.
How do you feel about people who still cling to the idea of Roxy being a narcissistic bully because of the stuff she'd say while hunting Gregory, despite being hacked into/possessed?
Cause honestly, I think it's funny how apparently Roxy gets flack for saying some mean stuff while under the influence of a hack. At the same time, people will go to the ends of the earth to defend William Afton or Monty (if he really did kill Glamrock Bonnie I mean).
It's SO fucking stupid and I hate it 💀
And I fully agree with the last part, people out here (youtube and twitter people) treat Roxy as a full on evil bitch while defending and wanting to fuck a literal child murder and abuser. And we don't know if Monty killed Bonnie or not, but if he did, no one's gonna say anything lmao. (Even people who think he actually did kill him, they still love him and are fully riding him, but nooo RoXy StIlL bAd Bc ShE mEaN 😡😡🤬🤬)
I guarantee you that if Monty (or a "male" animatronic) was in Roxy's place, no one would say jack shit and some people will only think he's so hOT 😫😫 for it
I really don't see Roxy as a narcissist, the game clearly showed us that Roxy deals with a lot of self esteem issues, and I think she just talks to herself so she can feel better. And the whole "bullying" thing when talking to Gregory, I really believe it was just her being hacked by Vanessa/Glitchtrap to get to Gregory.
AND RUIN LITERALLY SHOWED US THAT??? Roxy clearly had a close relationship with Cassie, and there's a reason why she's Cassie's favourite. Roxy apologized for scaring her when she recognized her voice, and when she heard her again, she welcomed her back and talked to her so sweetly and was just so gentle with her?? NOT TO MENTION HER BEING THE ONLY ONE TO BE AT HER BDAY!!! AND PROTECTING HER FROM THE MIMIC DESPITE CASSIE DEACTIVATING HER AND POSSIBLY DYING FOR HER
After all of that, you're still going to tell me that she was always a narcissistic bully who cares about no one but herself??? BLOCK ME THEN /SRS
#sorry I full on rambled-#but I get so defensive with Roxy lol she doesn't deserve this#defending her till I die <3#I also wanna say!!#I know Gregory did what he did to protect himself#but you really think Roxy wouldn't be pissed at him for crashing into her and taking her fucking eyes??#like I said. Roxy has self esteem issues and her appearance was so important to her. I can see WHY she'd be so angry#and we see in ruin how much that still affects her (when she was crying alone in the salon)#asks#anon#roxanne wolf#I just really don't get the whole bullying thing#if that's the case then wouldn't she be mean to cassie too?#ROXY. IS. GOOD. WITH. KIDS.#also just be clear no I don't hate monty!!
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seeing matt blindfolded always does smth to me idk
#meerkatz 🪷#sturniolo triplets#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#i need him so fucking bad#i need him to ruin me#i wanna blindfold him
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okay but tenderly, gently, oh so sweetly, breaking cazador. he's crying, trying to pretend he's not crying, torn between trying to pretend that this isn't happening and pretending that it is but he's still in control here. licking the tears off his face as he weeps, despite the bucking of his hips. your hands on his body, your tongue on his flesh, the vampire lord stretched thin between the hooks of arousal and revulsion, and that's how he comes, with your teeth in his flesh and your name on his lips, begging you- to stop? for more? harder? faster? all of the above?
#nevvy speaks#nevvy plays bg3#cazador szarr#bg3 cazador#nsft#this one's for the cazador fuckers i know we're out there#i just think this fandom needs more cazador fuckers#look i'm a sick bitch and i like freak shit what do you want from me#i wanna ruin that elf#i want to keep him chained up in a basement somewhere and fuck him for days and days#i want him to hate it and love it and crave it#i want him to be crying the entire time#astarion watches and wants to approve because fuck this guy#but no matter how he tries he just. can't get behind this#does he still occasionally watch through the keyhole and jerk off to it? yes
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After 658476897456468 millenias I finally liend n colored this bitch n can finally be done witht this stupid bitch fucksd
#twisted wonderland#twst#floyd leech#drawings#i didnt wanna line it cause the sketch actually came out decent n i didnt wanna ruin it#god his hair was a angihtmare;so were the motions how do yall always draw things in motion so effortlessly plls share secret#stupdi teasing fuck the moment i started sketching this is when he came stupid mutt i ahte him#on another note im going so feral over orthos new card so expect that in bout nother 10 years or so
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Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)
I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.
-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-
In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.
Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.
Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.
Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).
The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).
After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.
I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.
Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.
No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.
#i have very mixed feelings about Papy Lupin Original Flavour#cuz you see in the first books he was pretty much like his grandson#a charming little bastard; smug as hell but also charming enough to make up for it#like. an ego the size of the eiffel tower but it's highly deserved#if he robbed me i would just thank him#you wanna punch him in the face but like. lovingly#then around The Hollow Needle he started acting weird#and after that his ego grew into a god complex the size of the eiffel tower and he just lost all the charm#like. just a huge dick honestly.#i thought that was a logical evolution after (SPOILER FOR THE HOLLOW NEEDLE) his wife got brutally murdered in front of his eyes#mere HOURS after they got married and he gave up his whole career as a thief for her#which would be an understandable evolution#but no he's also retroactively an asshole in The Countess of Cagliostro which is a prequel#i guess leblanc just decided 'lupin's a dick now'#which sucks#but on the other hand it's very funny to kinda hate-read The Countess of Cagliostro#i was honestly rooting for Joséphine for most of the book#she is fucking insane which is exactly what raoul/lupin deserve#you know that Mountain Goats song 'no children' ?#'hand in unloveable hand; i hope you die i hope with both die'#or that post that says 'i don't ship them they're too toxic / well i hope they kill each other mid-fuck'#well that's me with them#just reading on to see how many more life-ruining decisions raoul can bodily throw himself at#also leblanc did joséphine dirty!!!!!!!!#LET MY GIRL BE EVIL FOR GOD'S SAKE#none of that 'her fragile feminine nature' and fainting after murdering someone because deep down she can't bear her own cruelty#what the fuck#let her be genuinely unhinged!! let her bash raoul's head in with a meat hammer!!!!#(yes that is something that she tried to do)#anyway. justice for Joséphine Balsamo. god forbid women do anything
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WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW THIS SUCKER NOT ONLY GOT A NEW DESIGN BUT FUCKING DIED AGAIN EXACTLY 3 PAGES LATERRR
#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the flash#no because my day is immediately ruined when i find out there is a new thawne appearance anywhere in the comics#BUT THE FACT HE DIES IN THE END IS SUCH A GAMECHANGER. I ALWAYS LOVE A NEW RIDICULOUS DEATH.#yeah yeah im extremely weird(it boils down to me not trusting anyone to properly write thawne ever except me and 3 other people who#actually Get Him. like fuck off dc youve done enough harm already. but if he doesnt get to do much and dies? its most in character+funny)#anyway his last words 'b-barry. barry. lets just take a breath-'???? GRHGSGSHTSRRH HE IS. A FUCKING LOSER.#and the hand-through-heart thing WITH THE SPEAR OF DESTINY AROUND?? POETIC#and also. his design. HES IN HIS 'WANNA BE BARRY' PHASE AGAIN ISNT HE#knight terrors: the flash#ngl i havent even read the thing and dont really know the context. im here exclusively for these 4-5 pages featuring the Rat Bastard
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