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no-context-nonsense · 16 days

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Crows are better then men.

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kazieka · 1 year

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hold up im reading more about the lionfish thing and this one island in Honduras has had such a huge problem with lionfish that the measures they have taken include

• getting special exemption from the Honduran government to allow divers access to harpoons and spears which are otherwise illegal in fishing

• public campaign to teach people how to prepare and eat lionfish (apparently they are very tasty once the poisonous spines are removed) (but watch out)

• holding lionfish combination hunting competition and cookout (reportedly they killed and cooked 1,700 in a day) (someone killed 60 of them with a rubber band spear gun???)

• most recently and apparently out of desperation, the divers in charge of culling the lionfish in the Roatan Marine Park just started. feeding the lionfish they killed to sharks. bc what else are you gonna do with it

• the sharks don’t seem to notice or be affected by the poison and begin hanging out with the divers

• the sharks then were seen hunting and killing the lionfish on their own

like this is nuts to me sorry. the sharks just had to be shown “hey this is food, did you know?? you can eat these!! here try one!!” we are possibly altering an entire foodchain bc we like feeding the big ocean wolves

#lindsey shut up #i love sharks so much hhhhhhh #like of course this is gonna take a few generations of learning to have any major impact on the lionfish epidemic #but they are learning! from us and from each other!! HHHHHHSHARKS

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ryanthedemiboy · 2 months

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Sometimes I remember that one of my childhood cats was eaten by coyotes (coyotes howling super close to home + cat missing next morning had my parents investigating along the walking path nearby, and they found bits of his hair there), and while i'm sad that's how he went, he'd been on a decline, and likely wanted to die away from us.

So for him to not only give us that kindness, but to also be able to feed our local predators for a night is... meaningful.

And every time I hear coyotes howling, I hope desperately that it's a rabbit or other wild animal and not somebody's pet.

*we didn't know all the reasons to not let our cats outside, then. Don't let your cats outside unsupervised. Ever. For their safety and for the ecosystem.

#unless you live on a farm and actually need a cat to protect your shit from rodents #even then i'm still torn #but cats have jobs and that's it right there #even then they should be trained to stay near the barn and the house and you should feed them plenty of tasty food to keep them there #animal death

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ms-demeanor · 5 months

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Hey also you know that post about getting better at cooking and handling meat and stuff?

Meat is really expensive and it goes bad pretty quickly.

If you're a new cook and you're trying to figure out how to pan-fry something so that it tastes good, might I recommend tofu?

I'm not saying "treat tofu like meat and try to replace all your favorite meat dishes with tofu" (though, I mean, if that sounds good - go for it), I'm saying "it's a lot easier to practice heating a pan and flipping objects in a pan for a meal and seasoning objects in a pan when the objects in the pan cost two dollars instead of ten dollars."

Tofu lasts a lot longer in the fridge than meat does, is easy to season, and you can easily learn how to pan-fry it into a tasty snack (or main course) and only requires a little extra prep. You can also pretend that the tofu is raw meat (the texture isn't dissimilar) and start practicing for things like how to take it out of a package or cut it on a sanitizable surface, etc.

My favorite way to cook tofu is to press extra firm tofu for at least half an hour (you can get a cheap tofu press for around ten dollars, or you can put it between two plates with some books on the top plate - this is that extra prep i was talking about - tofu cooks best if you press the excess water out), then slice a 14oz cake of it into 8 slices. I lay these flat and sprinkle cayenne pepper, mushroom powder, and smoked paprika on all of the slices, then I rub it in and flip the slices and season the other side the same way. I cook it in a frying pan with a thin layer of avocado or olive oil over medium heat, flipping every two minutes until the flat sides start to crisp up a little. Just before the last flip I add about a tablespoon of tamari sauce (you can use soy sauce, I've just got allergies) to the pan, sprinkling it over the tofu so that both sides get a little bit of sauce on them.

I have that with steamed vegetables and with jasmine rice (with two teaspoons of rice wine vinegar per 3 cups of dry rice and 4.5 cups of water). I also make a honey-siracha-mayo sauce that I dip the tofu in.

It's really good. And now I end up eating leftover rice and sauce with fried eggs for lunch at least two days a week and that's also really good.

This has become one of my go-to low spoon foods because it's so easy to make, it's filling, it tastes good to me, and it has become extremely easy for me to keep a stock of tofu in the fridge compared to the effort of keeping un-expired meat in the fridge.

I find that a 14oz pack of tofu feeds two adults for one meal, though I can stretch that to three meals if I'm the only one eating.

It makes a very cheap, filling, easy dinner that I can keep the ingredients around for without too much concern for food waste or anything going bad (the tofu that I get lasts about a month in the fridge and these days I just buy three packs every time I'm at aldi and cycle in new stock - it costs $1.50 per pack)

If you're interested in becoming a better cook, rather than worrying about actual high-risk products like raw chicken that can be seriously dangerous and also cost a fair amount, tofu has a pretty low barrier to entry while also being a good way to learn on a new ingredient that has some similar properties to raw meat.

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parakeetpark · 1 year

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Cooked an actual meal for the first time in months, I thrive

#I've been subsisting on whatever i can get my grimy hands on #.... and my mum often cooks. gosh i feel like a child again sjskdhskdh but i did cook a lot more when i lived alone 5 years skshskd #honestly it's just my mum's a better cook than me and usually i cook food too spicy for my parents when i try feed them skshskshsk #BUT feels good man!! dinner is tasty and i feel that sense of accomplishment for doing something i usually struggle with

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yoursweetwife · 3 months

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Synopsis: you were sure of the excellence of your cooking, and you didn't want to throw it away due to lack of hunger, so you decided to feed the Ratio.

Warning: the reader is an excellent cook, fluff, friends to lovers, professor!reader, I'm sure that Ratio hates cooking, I won't change my mind.

There are three things that most infuriate Ratio.

Idiots.

When his phone is bursting with calls and messages.

Cooking.

It's not that Veritas doesn't know how to cook, he knows a couple of recipes, is smart enough not to burn down the kitchen, the cooking process itself irritates him.

However, too often the Ratio instead of the usual dinner or breakfast drinks a cup of coffee or eats a hastily prepared salad. Even at work, he rarely took a lunch break and locked himself in his office, the food in the dining room did not attract him at all, so attempts by other colleagues to invite him to have lunch together were ignored.

On one of those days, you decided to go up to him and treat him to your food. You didn't have an appetite today, and you don't want to just leave one of the best dishes you've ever cooked.

When everyone left for lunch, you walked into his classroom and briskly walked up to the workplace of Ratio.

At the sight of you, the scientist stopped putting things away and looked at you.

Because of the plaster mask, you couldn't see his expression, but you can tell from his friendly voice that he doesn't mind your presence.After all, you are one of the few whose mind Veritas has recognized as almost equal to his own. It became a catalyst for your friendship.

"Professor [Surname], what brings you to me? You usually have lunch with other people at this time."

He sat down on the chair again, holding the book in his hands, waiting for the moment when he could open it.

"Enough of these formalities, we're alone," a smile lit up your face and you quickly groped for the food container in your hands. - and about lunch..."

You held out the box and looked expectantly at Ratio, who didn't even move.

"I'm not hungry today, so I want to give this to you."

"So give it to someone else."

You puffed out your cheeks and made the saddest look, trying to convince Veritas. At such moments, he did not understand what he found interesting in your childish behavior. Nevertheless, he was attracted to it.

"I want you to try it. I swear, it's very tasty and healthy! Ratio, you won't regret it."

The scientist sighed in amazement and put the book aside. No matter how strong his desire to refuse, it was pointless to resist you.

"So be it, I'll try it."

You smiled gratefully and held out your hands to Veritas. When Ratio's hands touched yours, he couldn't help but feel the warmth from them.

"Fantastic, then you can share your impressions. - you looked at your watch and exclaimed in amazement. "Oh no, I still have to prepare for the lesson!"

Waving goodbye, you left his office, leaving Ratio alone with your "gift".

The smell of freshly cooked food filled the empty room as if it had been cooked just today.

Even the plaster head couldn't stop the smell from spreading through his body.

It looked and smelled just great, for such a clumsy person like you, such filigree and neatness was just incredible.

Ratio winces at the memory of your workplace. He still doesn't understand how you can sort out all those papers and appliances on your desk.

"You can't tell the quality of food by the smell alone."

Soon the mask was left on the table, next to documents, books and tests for students.

The first piece and...

The soft texture of the meat began to delight his taste buds from the very first minutes. The golden eyes widened with an all-encompassing sense of pleasure.

It was the most delicious meal he had eaten in a while. His pride won't allow him to admit it out loud, no, admit to himself that he doesn't mind eating it every day.

Ratio didn't even notice how empty the container was. He mentally scolded himself for his lack of restraint and pushed the container aside.

His eyes ran over the lines of the book, reading the text, but his thoughts were about something else, the students should come soon, which means that he has very little time.

A smile formed on Veritas' face. Perhaps he should also be hinted that he doesn't mind at all if you bring him your cooking every day.

#Dr Ratio #hsr x reader #female reader #dr ratio x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #dr ratio fluff #dr. ratio x reader #fem!reader #I have a lot of problems with English

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nixie-writes · 7 months

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Dating Alastor Would Include

who doesn't want a date with this literal cannibal

-he's withdrawn in public. He doesn't want Vox the public to see him being romantic with anyone, so PDA is off the table. He doesn't mind small gestures in the hotel where there are limited eyes.

-he would only confide in the hotel staff and Rosie about his relationship with you. It's not that he's ashamed of it, he doesn't want you to become a target because you're with him. So your relationship is mostly a secret. He doesn't want you telling your friends you're with him either.

-he's very gentle when touching you, surprisingly. His claws are sharp and capable of so much damage he never wants to inflict on you, and your skin is so soft. He'd gently trace shapes on your skin with a claw tip just to see his fingernail dance across your sensitive complexion.

-he's happy to cook for anyone in the hotel, even Angel. So of course he'd be happy to cook for you as well. He'd be over the moon if you asked for a Creole dish. He whips up a delicious crawfish étouffée. But really, he'll cook whatever you want.

-he's very warm by nature, literally. He feels like he's running a fever but that's his normal body temperature. He makes a great cuddle buddy when no one is looking. He'll be big spoon or little spoon, it doesn't matter to him. He just likes to know you're close.

-shockingly he has separation anxiety. How this developed he'll never tell a single soul, but whenever you're not around he has nervous tics, like biting his clawed fingernails or pacing or scratching the wood of the bar table until it starts to decay, ruining the wood. Husk jokes that you're tied to Alastor's hip because he's so emotionally dependent on you.

-he'll convince you to try demon meat at least once. Don't say, "oh I'm not easy to convince!" this man has his ways. If you like it he's pleased and will buy you only the highest quality meat. If you're not a fan of it he understands, you need a specific taste to like it, and will respect that you don't like it. That said, he'll probably slip a little into your food regardless of your opinion of it. Not enough to taste, just enough to say he gave you some.

-Alastor is very...protective. He isn't the type to get violent unless necessary, he'd rather creep out his query than attack them, but he's not afraid to get aggressive if need be. He can and will fuck someone up, that's assuming he doesn't decide they look tasty and do the exterminator's job for them. He doesn't like when other men get close to you, he takes that as a challenge. That said, all the men in the hotel have learned to keep their distance from you to avoid Alastor's wrath. Charlie, Vaggie and Niffty can get as close as they please, he doesn't see them as a threat to his relationship with you.

-if you happen to have a cat-like appearance he'd love to pet you, stroke you and feed you catnip just to watch you go crazy. Vaggie doesn't like him giving you catnip, you always get the zoomies and break something by mistake and end up crying over it but he gives it to you anyway, just to see you act ridiculous. When you're in the cute purring phase of catnip he'll rub your head and tell you how cute you are and ask if he can have a slice of that cutie pie.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #alastor

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i9messi · 10 months

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Cooking with Charles — Charles Leclerc

You're a chef and you teach Charles how to cook and bake.

social media au

charles' masterlist

yourusername

pasta 🍝

liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend and 53.289 others

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user1 you're so pretty and you can cook, please marry me

user2 you act like cooking pasta is something easy

yourusername hey, everyone knows how to do pasta

user3 charles leclerc 💀

user4 teach charles then

carlossainz55 hey charles_leclerc ask her for some help, your pasta sucks

charles_leclerc hey, my pasta is not that bad

pierregasly is awful

yourusername THREE F1 DRIVERS IN MY COMMENTS, TRYING TO NOT FREAK DOWN

user5 if I were you, I would already be flirting with them

user6 be charles' teacher, eventually he will fall in love with you

user7 okay, but y/n and charles cooking together would be something I would love to watch

yourusername

a new episode of cooking with Y/N is already on my YouTube channel! <3 browniesss

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend and 81.954 others

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user1 ma'am please marry me and feed me

user2 charles leclerc liked her post

user3 charles started to follow her!!!!

charles_leclerc it looks so good!

yourusername I can teach you, if you want!

user3 YES MY GIRL DO IT FOR US

user4 they look so cute together already

charles_leclerc

[caption: learning from the best 👩‍🍳 yourusername]

yourusername

cooking with Charles 🍝 tagged charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 123.932 others

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user1 YES

user2 she's living my dream

user3 he's a bad cook

yourusername he's not that bad! he just had some inchidents

liked by charles_leclerc

user4 yes girl protect your future boyfriend

charles_leclerc Am I a good student?

yourusername you're the best I ever had

charles_leclerc 🥹

charles_leclerc when will be your next lesson? i only want to improve

yourusername send me a dm

user5 SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP

user6 okay the chemistry between them

user7 I APPROVE THIS RELATIONSHIP

arthur_leclerc so this is what charles is doing in his free time

charles_leclerc

biscuits. now I can cook! tagged yourusername

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yourusername yes, you can! I always trusted in you❤️

charles_leclerc thank you belle ❤️

user1 THE HEARTS

user2 PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE DATING

user3 you both could make normal cookies but you preferred to make cookies with hearts of jam, that means something

carlossainz55 what are they? they look so good 👍

yourusername it's called jammy biscuits, they have jam on the top 🫶

arthur_leclerc she does magic, that's the only explanation possible

charles_leclerc you're envious

maxverstappen1 I'm interested in her classes now

charles_leclerc no, get your own teacher. she's mine

charles_leclerc

she loves food, I love her ❤️ tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 621.133 others

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yourusername I love you❤️🫶

charles_leclerc I love you more🥹

user1 YESSSSSSSSSS

user2 SHE LIVES INSIDE A FANFIC

carlossainz55 congratulations, guys! please adopt me now, I need tasty food

arthur_leclerc I knew this would happen, he talks about y/n all the time 😏

yourusername really?? omg

charles_leclerc traitor

maxverstappen1 congrats!

user3 couple goals

#charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc story #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc #leclerc #f1 instagram au

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plaguedocboi · 2 years

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We’re gonna talk about hagfish today, since it is Their Day

Hagfish are vertebrates, but they have no vertebrae! They lack bones entirely, with just a cartilaginous skull and a notochord (making them the only animal with a skull and no spine). They also have no eyes and no jaw. They also like to cuddle.

Exactly where they fall on the tree of life has been an interesting topic. Historically, they were placed as the sister-group to vertebrates; the vertebrate that diverged the earliest, and remained very primitive-looking. However, with new fossil evidence and DNA analysis, we’ve figured out that they are closest related to the lamprey, another jawless fish that does have eyes and bones! Which means the ancestors of the hagfish did as well, but somewhere along the line they decided, “screw it, I’m going back to being a Worm”.

The hagfish spends most of its time at the bottom of the ocean, sniffing around for prey. Although they do actively hunt and catch their own food, it’s much easier to eat things that are already dead, so they’re frequently seen snootling around whalefalls and bait set out by scientists, where they feed by rapidly spinning around until they’ve bored a hole straight through the skin and can get to the tasty insides!

But wait, how does a jawless animal feed at all? It just has a little :O face with no teeth!

Well, great news! That cute little :O isn’t it’s mouth! That’s it’s nose! It’s mouth is underneath.

Ain’t that nifty?

Being a squishy little guy with no teeth or eyes, defending itself is kind of difficult. Luckily, no one wants to eat a hagfish, because they are gross af. They secrete a very thick slime that chokes predators. About 4% of a hagfish’s body mass is pure slime. This slime is also apparently useful to humans, because it contains strands that are stronger than nylon, offering a way to make more durable and environmentally friendly fabric!

In summary,

Happy hagfish day!!

oooOOOOUUUGHGGGGH

#hagfish #biology

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i-cant-sing · 10 months

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Ok. Ok. HEAR ME OUT. Miguel hanging out with reader (shes chained to the chair) and feeding her (shoving food down her throat) bc she mentioned she hadn't eaten anything while Miguel was out handling business (beating up a child)

Ommg yess but like imagine reader being a spider person and unbeknownst to her, Miguel has grown really fond of her, seeing her as his own daughter and so he... dotes on you. Look, his family loss is still fresh, so he has this abundance of platonic love that he just needs to pour and you are luckily (or not) that person.

And papa Miguel is like trying so hard not to show that he cares about your well being, but HE DOES and he's always worried about you and he just wants to pull u out of the field and tell u its too dangerous for u to be spiderman, but he doesn't wanna say it because then he'll have to explain his concern for u and I've already told u guys that he's an emotionally crippled father who cant say "I love you" but their actions always scream out the words.

So, he thinks its best to just take care of you as best as he can without arousing suspicion from you or pulling u out of the field (cause he knows u love being a hero). He makes you food(mostly mexican because everything else doesn't have enough spice and it doesnt matter if u cant handle spice, you will LEARN to), okay? I mean good, homecooked meals, 3 times a day and he expects you to eat breakfast and dinner(ofcourse u have a curfew) with him. But lunches? well, since you're always on missions during lunch time, he packs u up some food for u to take and he always checks your bento box (ALSO SPIDERMAN THEMED OBV) but perhaps this one day, you forgot to or didnt want to take your lunch along (a very tasty burrito) and when Miguel sees your lunch in his kitchen, he is LOSING it all. My man here is making himself go crazy(ier) by overthinking the worst possible scenarios (because this is unusual behavior in his textbook) and he sends a sort of AMBER alert on your ass because you're not answering his calls/texts(cause ur busy fighting bad guys) and Miguel just sends the ENTIRE spider society to find where you are and bring you home ASAP. Obv the spider society follows his orders to bring you because he's boss man and he probably has some important reason to drag ur ass home and not because papa's heart cant handle that his baby missed lunch???

Omg can you imagine reader finally finishing tying up the bad guys and now stops by a pizza place to grab a slice and girl looks outside to see 100 spidermans swinging around, all coming her way. These guys all shoot enough webs until you were practically cocooned in them and perfectly immobilised, and then they all open up the portal to deliver u to Miguel.

And Miguel just shoos them all away before he begins to free u from the webs and asks where u were, what happened, did the bad guys hurt u, were u kidnapped.

"Yeah-" you pulled the webs out of your hair. "-by your men!" And Miguel explains that he sent them after you because he thought something bad happened to u.

"Why would you think that?"you inquired.

Because you forgot your lunch at home. No, he cant say that.

"I- my spider senses were telling me to. I guess they were wrong." Now before you could ask more questions, he changes the topic. "Anyways, you must be hungry. Lets eat lunch-"

"No, I actually ate a slice of pizza before I was brought here-" you start but Miguel glares at you as he pulls out a dish of enchiladas from the oven, placing it in front of you.

"You will eat. You're hungry."

"I'm actually not. Like I was saying-" but he glares at you again, piling up your plate with enchilidas.

"I wasn't asking, mija." He hands you the utensils, red eyes piercing you. "You are hungry, and you will eat. Now."

#yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel x reader #yandere atsv #yandere platonic #platonic yandere #platonic #miguel x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spiderman atsv

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yellosnacc · 7 months

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Once again a creature from the continent of Slomen. A very primitive but also very specilised critter. 6 to 30 cm long, wet roots up to 45cm.

They live in many aquatic environments but most often you will find them in forest rivers and lakes. Some species have even adapted for life in the sea and could be considered fully aquatic while still air breathing.

Majority of the clade feeds on small animals like invertebrates sometimes parts of plants they can digest. Their hunting strategy is either burst swimming, jumping or just sliding on top of some slow prey.

There were two important species that started life on land, with the leaf ancestor being a smaller, less land specilised of the two. Leafs are one of their earliest evolutionary branches as land vertebrates and have retained many acient features like paw suckers and teeth instead of claws. In bigger vertebrates most of these little teeth were lost and became true claws or fingers (even present on the other land climber ancestor).

They can actually eat with their feet that are still closely connected to their stomach. But it applies only to very small food particles.

The wets are not very culturally significant but some regions do eat them. But the thick mantle isn't very tasty. In some places they symbolise good harvest season.

These little guys are also related to the 'birds' of Elve and I'm sure you can see why.

#art #speculative biology #artists on tumblr #digital art #artwork #worldbuilding #speculative evolution #spec bio #fantasy #original creature #creature design #spec evo #alien life #frog #slug #elve #pick up and run #speculative fantasy

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yuujispinkhair · 3 months

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thinking thoughts... Just, baby daddy Yuuji. I want to have this man's children so freaking bad Winter 😭😭😭 I can just imagine him rubbing your swollen feet after a long day of being his pretty little girlfriend, him kissing your tummy as good morning to feel his baby kick, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot bc they're so strong!! Just like him!!! He's such a proud daddy!!!!!

And I just know he'll be OBSESSED with his partner during the pregnancy. You wouldn't have to lift a single finger, he would carry you in those big, veiny arms wherever you wanted to, pressing tender kisses to your head and not even blinking at the weight. You crave something tasty to eat? Do not worry, Yuuji is already on it. The hormones are doing their thing and u burst into tears randomly? It's okay, Yuuji doesn't leave your side for a single moment, holding you close and kissing those pearl tears away. Too uncomfortable to fall asleep? My man is bending himself into a makeshift mattress so you can sleep on his chest, his heartbeat and tender hands caressing your back up and down and making you pass out in no time.

I can just imagine him during the birth too 🥺🥺 he would be so nervous but so strong for you, holding our hand steadily and kissing your sweaty forehead every once in a while. I can totally see him cracking some jokes here and there, making you feel some joy in the middle of the pain. The nurses would be over the moon for him, all starry eyed and whispering to each other about the hot sweet giant making his girlfriend laugh their baby out in the delivery room

And when the baby is finally here, he can't stop carrying them around. He would be so enamoured with you for giving him such a precious gift, tampering and spoiling you rotten those first tender months. You are finishing putting the baby to sleep after feeding them when Yuuji comes up to you from behind, holding you close to his front so you can feel all of it, pressing wet kisses to your neck and shoulders and whispering how he's ready for a second baby already 😭😭😭😭😭

Just 🥺🥺🥺 having yuuji's babies 🥺🥺🥺

YOU ARE MAKING ME SWOON SO MUCH, MY SWEET ANON 😭😭😭💗💗💗 And you are SO right!! Yuuji is such a good man, such a good husband/boyfriend, and such a good daddy!! He is so giving and so full of love. I know he would treat you so well and also be such a good dad!!

Yuuji is the type to immediately take responsibility and plan his whole life as the father of your kids the moment you tell him you might be pregnant. Doesn't matter whether you are already in a long-term relationship and a certain age or if you are both still in college and it happens as an accident. Yuuji is there for you!! He loves you, and he will love your baby!! He will provide for you and take care of you and be fully involved when it comes to raising the little one.

And god, yes, Yuuji is SUCH a proud daddy! The proud sparkle in his honey eyes when he carries his baby around! That big smile on his face when your little one falls asleep on his toned forearms. His happy laugh when he talks to your baby and makes silly faces.

And since he enjoys cooking a lot, you can be sure that Yuuji will be in the kitchen preparing healthy baby food and, later on, all kinds of kid-friendly finger food when your little one grows tired of the baby food.

Yuuji is an amazing daddy, but he also never forgets to take care of you too, and make you feel not just like a mom but also like a woman!!

He is obsessed with your body during the pregnancy and also with your after-baby body. He kisses every inch of you, moaning loudly for you and telling you how beautiful you are to him. Even if you are insecure about the change in your body, Yuuji will make you feel desired.

But Yuuji also takes care of you in other ways that don't involve sex. He brings you flowers and your favorite snacks to show you he appreciates you. He insists on having movie nights together when the baby is asleep because he knows how much you love those and how much you enjoy getting cuddled by him. He runs you bubble baths and gives you back rubs and tells you to take a break. He leaves you cute and encouraging messages on the fridge. He cooks for you and helps you so much with all the household chores.

He always makes sure you know you don't have to do this alone. You have him! Even when it comes to things only you can do, like breastfeeding, Yuuji will make you feel like you aren't alone. He cuddles you when you have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed your baby. He is behind you, hugging you and kissing your neck so sweetly. Letting you know you aren't alone in this.

The moment you are finished breastfeeding, Yuuji will take the baby from you and tell you to get back to sleep. "I got this, cutie." And Yuuji will spend the next hour walking around the house with his baby in his arms, singing softly all kinds of songs he usually does for karaoke nights until the little one finally falls asleep.

And then Yuuji is back in bed with you, smiling to himself when he sees your sleeping face, reaching out to wrap a strong muscular arm around your waist, making you feel loved even in your sleep.

He is so happy to have his little family 💗

#yuuji fluff #yuuji x reader #yuuji x you #itadori x reader #itadori x you #yuji x reader #yuji x you #tw pregnancy

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dr3c0mix · 1 year

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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO MORE TERATO WITH ZOMBIES?? /NF

YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD ABD TASTY, possibly a trans male reader who hasn’t gotten surgery yet? DONT KNOW IF THATS AGAINST BOUNDRUES

Smut pls😊

*sniff sniff* thnank yuou

Zombie Horde with a FtM reader Who Hasn't Gotten Top Surgery Yet

CW: Smut, a bit of fluff, FtM reader w/o top surgery, chest touching??? horny zombies

💀 To be honest, they wouldn't care

💀 You'd normally use bandages or old binders because transitional surgery wasn't an option when you were busy making sure your bunker was safe, your food stock was full and so on. Sure you wished you'd gotten one sooner before the virus but there are more important things...

💀 You were in your hidey hole without anything binding your when Soda came in looking for you.

💀 He went to cuddle next to you when he felt something soft and squishy, he tilted his head and poked at your chest which made you yelp.

💀 His little mate has squishy parts in the chest? he doesn't remember that, he's confused as he's never noticed you with any squishy bits in that area, in fact, you always had some kind of armor or something for some reason, were they organs spilling out? Now he can't have that! Humans need those he thinks!

💀 He chitters worryingly, trying to pull up your shirt to help you push back in your organs, but you kept pushing him away.

💀 He eventually gestured to parts of his body that showed his rotten body making a pushing in movement, you let out a long ooohhhhh and assure him it's not that.

💀 You explain to him (to a degree) and he explains it to the others.

💀 Bo thinks he remembers seeing bandages on others because they're hurt so the first time you show him, he's all over you comforting you so his little mate won't be sad that they got hurt. He is very much blaming himself, but Soda quickly explains you're not hurt at all.

💀 They start looking for bandages, binders, sports bras, compression wear, anything that looks like what you usually wear.

💀 Screw has a bunch of things he's hoarded so he goes through his pile looking for clothes and the sort that he think's you'd like.

💀 Ribs has the guilty pleasure of burying his face in your chest. You're just so warm and soft and squishy!!!

💀 If you ever feel gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, they'll sense you feeling a bit under the weather and love on you so much you'll forget all about it. Don't be sad, you're perfect!

💀 If you ever do get top surgery, maybe from travelling to a large community of survivors or other, they wouldn't change their feelings towards you.

💀 They's be curious about your scars though, Bo would be furious thinking they hurt you or ate your squishy bits or something.

💀 Screw is feeling your chest now feeling the new flat texture of your chest.

💀 Ribs does the same because they're best friends a- OH MY GOD YOU HAVE RIBS TOO?!?!?

💀 Soda is all over you seeing if you're ok. Did they feed you enough? Does it hurt? Do you need us to give you some love? Did you miss us?

💀 Can Ribs have all your old bandages and binders?

💀 If you have boundaries regarding your chest area, they will steer away from it, anyway, you have the rest of your lovely body for them to devour.

💀 If you don't, they'd be massaging your chest, cooing oh so softly reminding you that you're theirs whether you have surgery or not.

nsfw under the cut!!

💀 Bo loves your chest, he can feel your heart beating as he rubs his dick between your breasts, its so cute how fast it goes as you're being filled to the brim with their cum.

💀 Ribs very much prefers your thighs, running his hands up your body as he licks your sex with your legs wrapped around him.

💀 Screw is fine with anything as long as he gets to kiss you or throat fuck you, you feel so warm around him he could cum as soon as he slips his dick inside.

💀 Soda is a bit shy when it comes to breeding you, but if you let him, he could rabbit fuck you until you were a babbling, moaning mess, of course he'd go on to kiss you better afterwards, they all would.

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kitchenwitchtingss · 9 months

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RECIPES I KEEP IN MY ONLINE KITCHEN WITCH JOURNAL #2

I love making these oh my gosh.

Why?

It's really fun

It's been a while since my last one

I get an excuse to try yummy recipes

You all are way too good at what you do

It's fun x2

Teas, Drinks, And Syrups

🍊 Orange Peel Tea 🍊

Violet Lemonade

Coconut Summer Drink

Dandelion Honey

The Best Hot Spiced Cider recipe you’ll ever try

Apple Cider is basically a homesteading spell

Rose Lemonade Syrup

100-Year Garlic (Garlic Honey)

Fire Cider Spell for Winter Protection

Blackberry & Apple Jam

Witchy Recipes - Blackberry Lemonade

Baked Goods + Sweets

Prosperity Bread

Lavender Earl Grey Cookies

Easy Rosemary Focaccia Loaf for Love and Protection

Heavenly Lavender Scones

Honey Vanilla Peach Butter 🍑

Pumpkin Pie Dip 🎃

Vanilla-Pumpkin Cupcakes

Soups, Stews, And Dinners

Super simple secret potato soup

Forest Porridge

Heartwarming potato soup

Perfect Homemade Garlic Bread

Creamy vegetable soup

Springtime Soup

Stuffed Maple dijon glazed roasted butternut squash

Summertime stir fry

Sabbat Stuff

Litha Orange Honey Cake

Litha Thyme Chicken

Stuffed Apples for Mabon

Mabon Mug

Imbolc Pretzel wreath

Oatmeal Bread for Lughnasadh

Samhain Mulled Cider

Samhain Irish Apple Cake

Angel's Best

(my favorite recipe posts I've made over the years, plus backstories that sound like your grandmother's reminiscing over the past.)

LATE WINTER BUTTER ROLLS

My first post I ever made. I was pretty new to the tumblr community at the time. I loved kitchen witchcraft, and I'm the type of person who will ramble on about how much I love cooking and baking. This blog gave me an outlet to express my love of cooking, baking, paganism, and witcraft. And these rolls are very tasty, I make them to this day!

WITCHY TOMATO BASIL SOUP

Tasty, simple, and a crowd-pleaser. It's perfect for a beginner kitchen witch! It was also the second recipe I ever posted.

SWEET CREAM BUNS

It was a recipe given to me by one of my good friends at the time. Every time I make it, it gets devoured in less than 10 minutes. It was also my first recipe to get over 50 notes. I was shocked but ecstatic that so many people would even give it the time of day lol.

WITCHY THUMBPRINT COOKIES

These ones were just fun to make and delicious lol.

A WITCH’S COZY BUTTERNUT WINTER SOUP

A quick soup that feeds a lot of people during the fall season. Fall is my favorite season, so of course I'm very biased lol.

SAMHAIN PUMPKIN BREAD

I love pumpkin bread and apple cider... So why not combine the two? This one was definitely one of my favorites of all time. Moist pumpkin bread and chocolate chips have to be one of my favorite things on this planet. It also makes for the perfect gift for friends and family. Yummy!

ANGEL’S AWARD-WINNING LEMON POPPY SEED BREAD

I love dessert loaves of any kind, so naturally, this would be on the list lol.

MAPLE BUTTER COOKIES

Super simple comfort food! I love any time of cookie with brown sugar.

BRING ME POSITIVITY PECAN FRENCH TOAST BAKE

I love French toast, and I love positivity~

SAMHAIN SOUL CAKES RECIPE

These are really good! And traditional. If you celebrate Samhain, I recommend you make some soul cakes and have friends and family help decorate. I give the littles a bag of orange frosting and let them go crazy lol.

FEEL BETTER CHICKEN SOUP

One of my most recent is my witchy twist on chicken noodle soup!

#witches #kitchen witch #witchy #witch #magick #kitchen witch recipes #food #recipes #witchblr #kitchen magick #foodblogger #sabbats #litha #kitchen witch tips #modern witch #modern witchcraft

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 11 days

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Ruggie, Trey: More and More

TWST once again picks the most INCRIMINATING villain shots to display in the picture frames 😭 I am BEGGING the museum curator to do better/j

A Tale as Old as Time.

A lion cub, a warthog, and a meerkat.

It was an odd trio, a group of animals that, under normal circumstances, would never be together. Certainly not like this—not grinning, snuggling up with each other. Carnivore, herbivore, omnivore. Sharing the lives they had, joined in heart and in song.

No worries for the rest of their days.

Ruggie snickered behind one hand. Man, ain't that the dream?

"They've got nice smiles."

The hyena's ears perked. His eyes shifted to a Heartslabyul student gazing upon the same painting. Tall, built well, in glasses.

"Come again?"

"Their teeth," Trey clarified, pointing. "You see? They have different shapes based on their diet. Warthogs mainly eat vegetables, so they have strong, flat molars for crushing plants. But lions are carnivores, so their teeth are sharper for slicing through meat. And meerkats--"

"Okay, I get it already! Now quit it, you sound almost as creepy as Rook." Ruggie groaned. "Can't believe you take one look at this and your first thought is what's in their mouths."

"You don't?" The joke fell flat, and Trey let it go "How about you? What's your first thought when you look at this? If I'm remembering correctly, this painting is based on a story from your country. Does it have significance to you?"

"Eh, it’s some story about a warthog and a meerkat coming together to raise a lost cub they found."

"Really." Trey's eyebrows raised. "How did they manage to feed a baby lion? They probably need a lot of protein, and I don't think a warthog and a meerkat could hunt enough for it."

"Nah, they figured something out." He pinched his thumb and index finger together, peering through the small gap between them and right at the vice dorm leader. "Bugs."

"Bugs?!" Trey startled.

"Yup, there's plenty of 'm and they're packed full of protein for a growing young prince.”

“Prince?”

“Did I not mention it before? Turns out that the lion cub was a missing prince, and they had no idea. When the prince was all grown up, he returned to claim his kingdom with the warthog and the meerkat. The animals were able to get over their differences and live together in harmony. It all started with bugs—that’s pretty resourceful, isn’t it?”

"I didn’t think there would be a twist that wild from a story that started with eating bugs. We sometimes eat flowers in the Queendom, but usually as a garnish or for a snack, not for a whole meal. Is it a cultural difference...?"

Ruggie shrugged. "Sometimes you don't have much of a choice in what you eat. If life hands you lemons when you're starving, are you going to turn it down? 'Course not."

I can't afford that kind of luxury.

"Well, when you put it like that..." Trey gave a light laugh. "You're going to make me hungry too."

"I'd kill for a big roast pork right about now. Fat, sweet, and juicy, the meat so tender if falls off the bone once ya sink your teeth into it..." Ruggie drooled at the thought. "Yeah, if you just shoved an apple into the warthog's mouth, glaze it with honey, and slow cook it over a fire, I bet it'd be real tasty."

"It sounds like you’ve always got food on your mind.” Trey folded his arms, lips tugging back into a lopsided smirk. “Kinda gruesome when you talk about the prep work like that though.”

“We wouldn’t have any food if we didn’t hunt and gather. ‘S how the circle of life works.”

His gaze slanted toward the painting of the happy trio. A unification, food shared from the same platter—it sparked some desperate hope in him.

A world where kings and hyenas can be friends… Heh, maybe I’m asking for too much.

But he was greedy like that. Seeking more and more, his hunger never fully satisfied.

Ruggie shook his head, letting dirty blonde locks fall across his face. “Maybe it’s news to you, but beastmen don’t exactly see eye to eye with other beastmen. That’s why it’s practically a miracle that those three get along. It’s a tale they tell us in the Sunset Savanna to remind us of what we could be, united under one true kingdom. It’s just that: a story.”

“It’s a nice story,” Trey said simply. “And it would be even nicer if it came true.”

It would.

“It’ll be a looong time before that happens. It’s about as real as my dreams of a roast pork dinner.”

Ruggie sighed as he drew his arms up, hands resting behind his head. He reclined back in that lazy, devil-may-care pose.

Trey watched him, his mustard yellow eyes shifting slightly. “… Are you baiting me to offer to make you some?”

“What?” The hyena feigned shock. “Me, trying to get my hands on free grub? Nooooo, I’d never!”

Trey stared at him indignantly. “You’re not being very subtle there…”

Ruggie showed his teeth. “Was I supposed to be?”

“Maybe you’d have better luck getting a formal invite from Riddle first. I don’t usually prepare whole hams for a single guest either—it’s usually a group meal, so you’d have to share.”

“Tch. Whatever, can’t blame a hyena for testing out a shortcut, can you?”

“Ahahah… I’m slightly concerned that you’d even attempt to have an entire pig to yourself. Your appetite must be legendary.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

More and more—he wanted it all. Gluttony, a sin to the common man. To him, a desire for something greater than this.

He saw it now, a kingdom built upon the jagged cliffs. His kind and other scorned creatures. creeping out from the darkness and into the moonlight. They all looked to the one that stood far above them, the one that would lead them to that shining future.

Someday, it will come.

Ruggie spun, his back presented to the painting. A spotlight upon the trio, and the shadows closing in on his own face.

Even so, his smile was as big and as bright as ever.

“Nishishishishi! Don’t worry so much, Trey-kun~ Just be happy—hakuna matata!”

#twisted wonderland #twst #Ruggie Bucchi #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #something no one asked for #Trey Clover #Ruggie birthday takeover #spoilers #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios

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swampstew · 2 months

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Really Really

Breaking news: local cryptid @quinloki was found guilty of leaving tasty treats in my ask box. Feeding the thot after midnight. I let the whoremone monster out and it was feeling some type of way♥

Man worth 3 billion berri is still a virgin, so I threw him in the blender. Warnings: spicy; post-time skip Eustass Kid x AFAB Reader; it doesn't go all the way in :) WC: 1.2K

inspired by this gif

Impatient.

Not a word typically used to describe yourself but after six long months aboard the Victoria Punk, the fierce Captain Kid had once again overlooked your playful flirting as he stormed to his workshop; a hint of red on the tips of his ears were the only sign he’d heard what you said.

You weren’t sure what his deal was – you’d never seen him hook up, not with anyone on the crew and not with anyone on islands the crew landed at. Sure he’d go into strip clubs or make out with random people at the bar from time to time but not once had you seen him spend the night off ship. Or seen a one-night stand stumble from his cabin.

It was puzzling.

A devilishly handsome, well-toned man like him had women and men swooning over him, flirting and spoiling him with compliments, drinks, and food to gain his favor. Kid didn’t always accept the tokens and he almost never accepted them from you. Food and drinks yes but flirting? Almost like it went over his spiked hair; a blush, smirk or scowl the only response he gave you.

It made you…desperate.

Was he really that disinterested or was there something else?

Someone else?

So you did what any rational person could do – you got Killer drunk and tried to weasel out information. But the son of a bitch was like a sealed vault, refused to give up anything about his best friend. And he teased you for it.

“D-you like him or something?” the blonde finally asked.

“I—” you stuttered, “I’m just wondering why! Does he not like sex or?”

Killer didn’t answer right away, swirling his cup before taking a contemplative sip from his straw. “It’s not that, so much as…” he took another sip, “He prioritizes his ambitions and dreams. That’s all.”

“What does that have to do with fucking?”

“Absolutely nothing. He just hasn’t.”

“…Hasn’t? As in had sex?”

Killer shrugged, neither confirming nor denying. That stunned you into silence.

“Really? A guy like him??”

“If you’re so interested in finding out – you should ask him yourself.”

“I’ve tried! I flirt with him, wear revealing clothes, he usually ignores me!”

Killer began coughing, putting his drink aside as he shuddered between suppressing laughter and trying to breathe.

“F-ff-ff- ahh no he doesn’t. He just pretends to.”

“WHAT?!”

“He’s not an idiot, he knows what you’re doing. But he won’t do anything about it since you’re his responsibility; unless you were to, well, be aggressively transparent.” With that, Killer left you alone in the galley.

Transparency.

And Kid’s known the whole damn time and not even acknowledged it. That was frustrating. So much so you decided to try again the next day and be as blunt as possible.

You knew his schedule by heart, you skipped breakfast to hide in his workshop. Wearing a short skirt and oversized sweater, you took a pair of scissors and got creative. Carefully snipping away at the fabric, you cut away at your outfit to expose your bra and panties, not quite getting naked, enough to be as blunt as possible about your intentions.

The sound of thudding boots growing closer suddenly made you nervous but you swallowed your anxiety and snipped the strap of your bra before tossing the scissors and turned away from the door.

“The hell are you doing in here? Why weren’t you at breakfast?" stunned to find you in his sanctuary, a place he expressly forbade anyone from.

You turned your head to the side with a pout on your face, “Didn’t want to eat. I want something else.”

Slamming the door shut, Kid removed his coat and threw it on the table before roughly grabbing your shoulder to face him. His face turned bright red as his golden eyes traveled up and down your body. Studying the way the slit up your skirt gave him a view of your panties, the way your breast threatened to spill over the edge of the cup of the destroyed bra.

You heard his breath sharply release from his lips, “What the…the fuck happened to you?”

You narrowed your eyes, “You did. This is what you’ve driven me to.”

He backed away from you with shock and surprise on his face, “I did what?!”

“I want to fuck you,” you walked towards him, hips, thighs, and breasts jiggling with each step, “I’ve tried flirting with you, dropped hints, given you a share of my loot, and literally hand fed you and you’ve NEVER reciprocated in any manner. So, is it me? Do you find me atrocious? Unfuckable?” your voice became gravelly from the internalized resentment and embarrassment you felt from the efforts you’d put in all this time. “Please, tell me. It’s killing me. If you don’t want me, I’ll stop. But just say something. Am I making a fool of myself for wanting you?”

Kid’s back hit the door, eyes wide as he listened to your rant, “I-wha-no! It’s not you, it’s…”

You stopped a few feet from him, so desperate to hear his answer. You could see the bulge outline in his pants.

“FUCK!” he snarled, smacking his own face to cover his flushed expression, fingers digging into his skin until deep red crescents marked him. “I’ve never had sex!” he finally confessed.

“Really?” you asked, not at all expecting that response. “But…why not? You’re hot as fuck!”

“I JUST HAVEN’T OKAY?!” he lashed out, making you step back from him, a little intimidated by his embarrassed rage. “I’ve got more important shit to do than fuck around and spawn a bunch of bastards,” he spat through grit teeth.

“…Condoms exist…”

“I KNOW THAT!”

Your hip clipped the table’s edge and you stumbled backwards. Before you fell, Kid grabbed your arm and pulled you up, in doing so you fell right into his bare chest. You could feel the goosebumps ripple across both your bodies from the touch but he didn’t move away.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, a bit ashamed from the confrontation, “I just needed to know if you found me attractive, at all. I’ll leave you alone.”

Still holding on to you he barked out, “Have you fucking seen yourself? Who wouldn’t be into you?!”

“Well, you? Considering you keep blowing me off,” you mumbled.

That made him laugh, “REALLY? Shit and here I thought I was being a decent Captain by not sleeping with my subordinates.”

“Really? You parroted in shock, that was surprisingly mature and unexpected. “But I’ve never seen you fuck around with anyone so I just thought—”

“Does this seem like I’m not interested?” he huffed, using his metal arm to grab your waist and pull you into him. Felt his erection against your lower belly. “Fuck me for trynna do the right thing.”

He made you walk backwards, still pressing his body into yours, “I get hard every day just looking at you. When you say cheeky shit, I have to come here and jerk off so I can fucking think clearly. You’re my biggest distraction but—” his hand ghosted up your arm to caress your cheek with surprising gentleness, “—I’ve never not been attracted to you.”

“Oh,” you hummed, still as stone to preserve the moment.

With a click of his tongue, Kid grabbed your chin and planted a wet kiss on you.

Your eyes were crossed from the feeling, lost in a haze as you felt him swing your body around until you were pushed back on top of his coat. The withdrawal of his touch brought you to reality, mouth gaping as he stood in front of you but did not initiate further contact.

“Show me what you like,” he rasped out. “Touch yourself. Teach me what to do.”

#eustass kid #what would you teach him first?#dont feed the thot after midnight #she turns into a whoremone monster #swampstew bedtime stories #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid x you #eustasscaptainkid #quinloki #sorry for being a tease though #my brain melted #in a good way

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