#I have a lot of problems with English
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Synopsis: you were sure of the excellence of your cooking, and you didn't want to throw it away due to lack of hunger, so you decided to feed the Ratio.
Warning: the reader is an excellent cook, fluff, friends to lovers, professor!reader, I'm sure that Ratio hates cooking, I won't change my mind.
There are three things that most infuriate Ratio.
Idiots.
When his phone is bursting with calls and messages.
Cooking.
It's not that Veritas doesn't know how to cook, he knows a couple of recipes, is smart enough not to burn down the kitchen, the cooking process itself irritates him.
However, too often the Ratio instead of the usual dinner or breakfast drinks a cup of coffee or eats a hastily prepared salad. Even at work, he rarely took a lunch break and locked himself in his office, the food in the dining room did not attract him at all, so attempts by other colleagues to invite him to have lunch together were ignored.
On one of those days, you decided to go up to him and treat him to your food. You didn't have an appetite today, and you don't want to just leave one of the best dishes you've ever cooked.
When everyone left for lunch, you walked into his classroom and briskly walked up to the workplace of Ratio.
At the sight of you, the scientist stopped putting things away and looked at you.
Because of the plaster mask, you couldn't see his expression, but you can tell from his friendly voice that he doesn't mind your presence.After all, you are one of the few whose mind Veritas has recognized as almost equal to his own. It became a catalyst for your friendship.
"Professor [Surname], what brings you to me? You usually have lunch with other people at this time."
He sat down on the chair again, holding the book in his hands, waiting for the moment when he could open it.
"Enough of these formalities, we're alone," a smile lit up your face and you quickly groped for the food container in your hands. - and about lunch..."
You held out the box and looked expectantly at Ratio, who didn't even move.
"I'm not hungry today, so I want to give this to you."
"So give it to someone else."
You puffed out your cheeks and made the saddest look, trying to convince Veritas. At such moments, he did not understand what he found interesting in your childish behavior. Nevertheless, he was attracted to it.
"I want you to try it. I swear, it's very tasty and healthy! Ratio, you won't regret it."
The scientist sighed in amazement and put the book aside. No matter how strong his desire to refuse, it was pointless to resist you.
"So be it, I'll try it."
You smiled gratefully and held out your hands to Veritas. When Ratio's hands touched yours, he couldn't help but feel the warmth from them.
"Fantastic, then you can share your impressions. - you looked at your watch and exclaimed in amazement. "Oh no, I still have to prepare for the lesson!"
Waving goodbye, you left his office, leaving Ratio alone with your "gift".
The smell of freshly cooked food filled the empty room as if it had been cooked just today.
Even the plaster head couldn't stop the smell from spreading through his body.
It looked and smelled just great, for such a clumsy person like you, such filigree and neatness was just incredible.
Ratio winces at the memory of your workplace. He still doesn't understand how you can sort out all those papers and appliances on your desk.
"You can't tell the quality of food by the smell alone."
Soon the mask was left on the table, next to documents, books and tests for students.
The first piece and...
The soft texture of the meat began to delight his taste buds from the very first minutes. The golden eyes widened with an all-encompassing sense of pleasure.
It was the most delicious meal he had eaten in a while. His pride won't allow him to admit it out loud, no, admit to himself that he doesn't mind eating it every day.
Ratio didn't even notice how empty the container was. He mentally scolded himself for his lack of restraint and pushed the container aside.
His eyes ran over the lines of the book, reading the text, but his thoughts were about something else, the students should come soon, which means that he has very little time.
A smile formed on Veritas' face. Perhaps he should also be hinted that he doesn't mind at all if you bring him your cooking every day.
#Dr Ratio#hsr x reader#female reader#dr ratio x reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#dr ratio fluff#dr. ratio x reader#fem!reader#I have a lot of problems with English
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i know someone must have done this already but--
based on this post by @chaotic-kass
#dreamling#dream of the endless#hob gadling#meowrpheus#cat!dream#yes i made hob a computer science professor#love the english and history professor headcanons#but also i think he'd make a real good computer science professor#bc in some roundabout way the progress the internet brought is out equivalent of the printing press#also i'm sure he would have very quickly realized that the thing that gives everyone access to every information at all times#is sth he should maybe keep an eye on#thus why not get into programming get ahead of the problem#with the potential to make a lot of money pretty anonymous too#keep his digital footprint in check#forge documents and images#you get it#anyway#id in alt text#soph arts
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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal
#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7#he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them#than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was#so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times#but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute#that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems#from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now#and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened#childhood trauma#trauma#cptsd healing#cptsd recovery#cptsdawareness#trauma survivor#trauma recovery
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#it went!!! idk lately my pain treshhold has been so low bc im in pain all the time#so i just dont wnna be in pain anymore... he said that now it'll still hurt for a few days T-T#but he wasnt exactly sure what it was but i had.. a cavity??#im not rlly sure abt the english terms for all of this but the tooth is dying lol#but instead of immediately killing it nd getting a root fill he said that we should give the tooth a chance#so he fixed what he could fix#i hate dentist treatments bc of all the air nd water nd my anxiety i need to swallow constantly#but this time i actually told them abt it nd he was very helpful sksks#he even said 'ok now take a break nd swallow' so i didnt need to be so anxious#nd it was a relief bc he wasnt bad at all. he was actually rlly nice nd easy to talk to phewww#it cost abt $80 so i can manage to be without that until next week!!!!#so yeah it went much better than i had anticipated so im happy abt that#but yeah the problem still isnt 100% fixed yet so im still not relieved#he said i had a cavity in my other tooth as well but that we needed to check that at another time#im so frustrated bc i brush my teeth 2/day i use mouthwash i floss....#and for the last 7 months i havent even had any sugar!!!!! like why did this still happen.. o.o#oh nd he also said that i probably clench my teeth nd yeah i do that a lot more than i've realized#your teeth arent supposed to be touching!! never!! only when u eat#my teeth.... are touching pretty much all day omg. bc im so tense nd anxious#he said that he couldnt be sure bc he didnt have enough info to go on but that could have contributed to this#well well... i did it nd went even if i didnt want to#hopefully my tooth will be better now. nd i have another appt in may to see what i could get done further#if financial aid for it gets approved tho it might not#but yeah.. god dental pain nd issues is my no. 1 fear bc im poor nd i cant afford it
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Debating if I should go harder on the classification snob shaming. I think I will let my rant sit in drafts overnight. Make better decisions in the morning lmao.
#know that if you have an LIS degree and you're snobbish about color organization i have it out for you personally#like oh I'm sorry. i thought we were all sporting anti-dewey pins and stickers now. or was that just for the vibes.#some people think better in color and space than topics or genres or the fucking english alphabet. MANY people even.#wonder why that might be! can't imagine. gee. lets all think about it real hard.#also my genre system is so fucking imperfect i sometimes think my spouse would have no difference in use if i switched to color#I am increasingly a genre anarchist frankly. i am getting FED UP#yes i am having a lot of fun in KO in particular and i am making it everyone's problem.
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i really have loved being in japan in general so far but most of my students are so fucking mean to me 😭😭 like they’re just so so sooo mean they parrot and mock me when i call someone’s name and laugh when i talk in general and it’s like how am i supposed to curry their favor or gain their respect when they are openly making fun of me from the second i walk into their classroom for the first time💀
#i think part of it is that 90% of the students are boys and they’re all super jocks so they don’t care abt english at all#also a lot of them are second semester seniors. and i was in their shoes not that long ago#which i understand. but like i wish they would at least be somewhat decent to me😭#like i wld fully be willing to say okay fuck the worksheet fuck the grammar let’s just shoot the shit. but none of them want to speak to me#also the ones who know i know japanese just speak japanese to me so i just stare at them blankly#at least in the us there were limits to the shit we cld say abt teachers in class because everyone was speaking english#to be fair i really struggle w conversational jpn & slang so most of the time i rlly don’t get the nuances#of what they’re saying to each other. and i can’t respond well at all. but i get the gist#its hard bc i’m new and also paired with new teachers for some classes so they don’t respect any ‘authority figure’ in the room#but like come on. don’t bully me.#i think part of the problem is there’s actually literally no consequences for anything. no detention or suspension or calls to parents#or getting benched for sports matches. which i think would actually get them to care#cuz there are things that technically i could try to do but there’s no way to actually enforce anything#idk. thinking out loud. the classes that have been decent & engaged have been super fun for me and energizing#but the others are rlly tough like so tough.#okay sorry i know no one cares
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big epiphany you guys. big. huge.
#cliffnotes for context: smute almost finish masters. smute think oh‚ maybe phd not crazy wacko shit‚ maybe i can try#but smute also low self esteem. with any small setback - smute think oh what is point. smute bound to fail#problem is: smute genuine self doubt = smute quotidian frustration#ok normal english now#so thats what i realized today. a lot of the ''small'' things i dream of (financial independence‚ a nice little apartment etc) are#expressions of some low level frustration with my nomadic broke student life#rather than genuine desires. and as dumb or as#duh#obvious as that may sound rn#its actually huge for me that i was able to recognize the difference today#this question of what i will do after i graduate has been haunting me for the past year#and i am now realizing that a lot of my own arguments have nothing to do with what i want#just because they're things i don't currently have doesn't mean they would be fulfilling#and#again. duh.#but like. between this debilitating self doubt and certain external pressures 🤨 it was hard to see the difference#anyway i basically just explored some alternative scenarios today#like specific scenarios. went on indeed found some really good stuff and tried to imagine my life a year from now if i took this or that jo#and the end result was that i fucking hated it. they were all great options on paper but the takeaway was that i would never forgive myself#if i didnt give this a try. if i prioritized some vague notion of independence or this idea of ''settling down'' or whatever the fuck#over the one thing that ive got going for me#like i still don't know if the academic path will be any more fulfilling than some other job#god knows my entire academic career so far has been an insane uphill battle. but it's also been so fucking rewarding. like nothing else#and i also still dont know how genuine this wish is#if it's not maybe still about proving myself to some imaginary authority#but like. how long can you psychoanalyze yourself before your goddamn head explodes#no matter how pure my motivation is im beginning to understand that i dont want this to be the end of the road#and maybe that's enough#&
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Thinking about the cycles of dysfunction in MDZS, and the different brands of misguided that crop up in every clan.
The Nie family curse is single-mindedness. Nie Mingjue is too black and white in his view of the world, which makes him cruel to Wei Wuxian and unable to cope with the truth of Meng Yao. Nie Huaisang is relentless in his quest to avenge his brother's death, willing to endanger anyone and everyone in order to get his way. Once a Nie has decided what is right, he will do anything, hurt anyone, to achieve his view of justice.
The Lan family curse is too much love for people they cannot stomach. The Twin Jades' father falls in love with the woman who kills his teacher, and he can neither accept her deeds nor let her go, so he chooses to lock her away. Lan Xichen swears brotherhood to a man who does not hesitate to commit heinous acts to get his way, but he chooses to brush aside those heinous acts and assume they are justified, because he cannot bear to look at them more closely. Lan Zhan falls in love with a man who would rather die than follow a rule he disagrees with, and it takes him years—takes him until it's too late to save his life—to learn to accept Wei Ying on his own terms.
The Jin family curse is self-centeredness in the extreme. Jin Guangshan assaults countless women, abandons countless children, all for the sake of his own pleasure, but refuses to help out an old flame because it's "too much trouble." Jin Guangyao lies constantly and kills countless people, including his own young son, all for the sake of furthering his ambitions. Jin Zixuan is famously arrogant as a young man, rejecting his fiancé because he feels she doesn't deserve him. Jin Ling, even as a teenage boy, sets up countless nets that ruin others' night hunts, feeling no sympathy when confronted with how unfair this is.
And the Jiang family curse. The Jiang family curse is the inability to suffer without taking it out on those around them, even when it is deeply undeserved. Jiang Fengmian and his wife both act out their frustration with each other via their treatment of Jiang Cheng. Madame Yu also takes out her anger toward her husband and her situation in life via the abuse of Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng clings to his brother as a scapegoat when he's desperate, blaming him for the deaths of his parents and sister (and helping kill him for his crimes), and he raises Jin Ling to do the very same thing. And even Wei Wuxian, when he's pushed, comes to assume malice from everyone around him, lashing out at people like Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan that genuinely want to help.
#mdz#mo dao zu shi#and people like Jiang Yanli or Jin Zixuan that overcome their family curses?#well they don't tend to live very long#especially not in the era before Wei Wuxian's death#it's just not a society that responds well to goodness and kindness#but through wangxian's efforts and the new generation. it's getting better#lan sizhui feels an instant (familial) connection with Wen Ning (who he knows killed his good friend's father among many others)#but he copes with it quite well#and Jin Ling comes around to wwx and wn much more easily than Jiang Cheng does#the kids are alright#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#english major hours#also yeah I know this is a little reductive#and most of these characters have a lot more going on than just these problems#but I still think that the familial patterns stand
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oh btw having a "natural seat" on horseback basically means you balance well and move naturally with the horse
#you don't want to be stiff or too floppy. you have to basically make your own movement an extension of the horse's#I think I surprise people a lot bc I have short legs and I'm very stocky which isn't the typical body type/structure for riders#most of them -- in English riding at least which is what I did for a long time -- are leggier and more medium weight to skinny#and I was a problem student a lot of times bc my legs are short enough that fitting stirrups was a hassle sjfksnfksjgs#but anyway I have been told I have good seat and I'm pretty proud of that. though I imagine I definitely did Not at first lol
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st sub/dub
a few thoughts i’ve been having since i had a conversation w a twitter mutual about byler/st and about the brazilian portuguese dub. i was talking about how mike refers to el as his ‘superhero’ and as ‘superman’, i asked her if she noticed he always refers to el as a male character or with the gender neutral term ‘superhero’ while others call her ‘supergirl’ or ‘wonder woman’, she said she didn’t notice that because she watches the dubbed version.
in portuguese almost every single word is gendered - there’s no gender neutral to ‘superhero’ it’s either “super-herói” (male) or “super-heroína” (female, mike uses this one to refer to el). even the episode title “the monster and the superhero” gets translated to “o monstro e a super-heroína”. i mean, i don’t blame the translators there’s literally nothing they can do cause there isn’t a genderless word to use. and it’s not only in the dub, it’s in the subs as well.. so if you don’t know english this very important detail about how mike uses language gets lost in translation.
i’m sure there’s more examples to point out about the language and changes made, i never watch st dubbed or with pt-br subs so i can’t point them out (and when i did put on pt-br subs to watch with my sister, i didn’t pay attention cause i understand english so i wasn’t focused on it). but that made me think about how little things about language can change your perspective or the way you interpret a character. like, the whole analysis about mike never referring to el as a female hero/character can’t exist in portuguese cause he does use those terms in our language.
btw when i was looking through the mlvn fight scene to double-check this i noticed that the portuguese (cc) has [hesitates] before mike says “i care for you so much” and “wha-.. who... who said that i didn’t?” which is interesting cause it’s not there in the english (cc)
another observation, the word they chose to translate “care” into was “carinho” which has kinda of a different meaning in portuguese? i would say it’s more like affection (i feel a great affection towards you) although i see why they chose that word, it flows better and it kinda fits but i wouldn’t say it means the same as ‘i care for you.. so much’. i feel like the care used by mike would be better translated to ‘se importar’ (eu me importo muito com você)
google pls.. it’s “an affection” lmao
anyway! this probably happens to every translation and it’s worse with gendered languages, which sucks!! if anyone has any observations about subbing/dubbing in other languages feel free to add to the conversation, it’s a very interesting topic to me as an english undergraduate lmao
#byler#this is not the only problem i have w the dub/sub.. netflix subtitles are actually terrible#they suck most of the time#it hinders your interpretation a Lot#if you don't know english and u want to dive into these characters through a linguistic lens#i love linguistics btw#iza.txt#mine
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lots of angry people in the notes of my kai winn joke post. i am afeared they might assume i agree with their visceral hatred of her. i do not.
#the problem most people seem to have is that they will not acknowledge that she is often Right#these people make poor citizens if they cannot grasp a political dialogue in their heads. competing values and so on#i want to take their hands and help them edit their english essays#i want to show them that ds9 is good storytelling bc it reflects quite a lot of the world’s functions#and training your reactions to the story will help train your reactions to real world political situations#like finding yourself building a coalition with someone you do not agree with on everything but agree with on Something#but that instinct is in fact Very Pretentious#still people should figure their feelings out before it causes them to hate a complicated character. or not vote against a fascist.
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I don't know if it's rude to ask, so apologies in advance if I sound mean, but… how come you repeatedly bring up old posts of yours from three or more years ago? Do you remember each original post you make and intentionally bring them back? Like, I don't think there's anything wrong, your blog can be whatever you want, obviously, and your stuff is always funny or curious in some way, just… I'm kind of lost as of how it came to be, I guess? I don't think I remember my own posts after 6 months, much least if I have to go back to 2020!
ahaha no it's usually just because i'm going back through a tag looking for something else! i recently went back through my entire "my posts" tag (which contains...1468 posts, dear lord) and while i was doing that saw several posts that i felt like reblogging for whatever reason. so it's usually not that i remember them and go looking for them on purpose, it's that i come across them incidentally in the course of doing something else.
if you want to know why i reblog them after coming across them, 1) usually i don't! you are seeing the tip of the iceberg lol, and 2) it's mostly because it's hard to resist the "sooo true, bestie" urge, even when the bestie is just...yourself.
#sometimes...things that are written by me...are things i agree with#but oftentimes they are not once a few years have passed lol. i mean i just looked at 1468 posts by yours truly#and queued probably 1% of them#oh i also went through my asks tag which was another 500 or so posts#if you want to know why i'm putting myself through this it's for a really ridiculous reason#namely: several nights ago i had insomnia brought on by (get this) being too excited to sleep because my brain wouldn't stop#coming up with crosslinguistic french/english puns#and a couple of them in particular i was like oh god this would be a great tumblr username!#however as i've said before i had no plans to ever change my username (even though i don't like it)#because doing so would break any links that contain my current username#i had resigned myself to just living with this username forever. but once i thought of some usernames i actually like#it became harder to resist the urge to change it...#so now i have this convoluted plan to try to identify and tag as many of the links as i can#so that after i switch names i can go back and fix the links#however i'm not sure how feasible this is. there are a lot of links#and no matter what i do short of going through all 45k posts on this blog i will be bound to miss some of them anyway#(i think getting a domain would solve this problem but i don't wanna get a domain bc i'd have to give wordpress my legal name)#indecisive superhero meme w the buttons 'the need to have punny username' vs. 'the need to be able to find things on my blog'#asks#anon#actually anon probably the majority of the time i rb something i wrote 3 years ago it's bc i forgot about it#i come across it and am like oh yeah! this! and it's like a brand new discovery so i put it back on the dash lol#anyway thanks for your ask! i got a kick out of it 😂
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so much of a 21st century woman that i legitimately had to have a guy in my YA lit class explain to me how men's emotions work because i've only ever heard about it from idiotic women speaking for men or super macho guys who think any form of emotion is utter weakness for my entire life
#idk yall men are interesting#something about how they're way less nuanced than women#like girls expect the same level of emotional complexity with guys as is evident in us#which means like 45 different feelings all at the same time and playing into the stability of our psyches#meanwhile the guy might legit just be tired#such an interesting conversation and now i think i have to find music that accurately portrays what he told me about how men actually#like#feel emotions#this is so random i hate being a modern woman#like i love my right to vote and my ability to get high paying jobs and a stem degree if i had desired but like#women don't know how men work and it's a problem because we think they're like us and they're not and it's unfair for us to speak for them#but like we don't know what's real anymore either#blargh#thanks random guy in my upper level english class for your candor you answered a lot of my questions#there are many benefits to attending a catholic college
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woooo ok well time to stop looking at furthering education options for right now. It's just overwhelming. I have genuinely zero direction right now so I can't narrow down the most useful degree when I don't even know what I'd be putting it towards. 4-year is very much expected of me, so I need to find SOMETHING, but I'm really coming up empty right now. Sigh. Just kind of complaining. I know this is THE MOST NORMAL FEELING EVER for being my age, but that doesn't make it any easier.
#long tags. i'm just talkin' and spiralin'. as you do over these things.#like. ok I took cultural geography and ADORED it#I love the sociology aspect of it#but a sociology degree wouldn't be good for me because I couldn't work in that field#I love the demographic/statistical/methodological aspect of it#but that requires math which is the number one thing I CAN'T do#the other side is the more social work based things that are like. ok how and why does xyz problem form in xyz communities or locations#and how can we fix it#everything gets to me and i'd get REALLY fucking sad really quickly in a social work sort of setting#and like i've BEEN the kid with 5 social workers and it's not an environment I would ever go back into. even on the other side of it#so i can't do the logical aspect of it and i can't do the more human based aspect of it#I know an english degree would be something I could do. my aunt and grandmother have one#and it's a wide enough net that I can use it for a lot of career paths. it leaves options wide open#and there's cultural studies within that that would connect to the sociological things I like studying#minus the more math prominent aspects of it#and once I DO find a job i need to make sure it's one i can physically do with my EDS POTS MCAS bullshittery#which is a WHOLE ASS OTHER THING#but i don't need this all figured out on a random monday evening#this is without me worrying about housing and employment during school and being able to handle it all with the adhd demons#bc sometimes two courses online is too much for me bc ADHD and pots brain fog. bc tldr i never have enough oxygeon or blood in my brain#which makes thinking difficult#and just. AUGH i do not need to figure it out right now!!!!!!!!!!!!1#this has STOPPED BEING USEFUL#only posting this bc i know other people feel the same sort of 'lost' otherwise i'd save it for my therapist#but this is tumblr so like i can just say shit here. if you think it's annoying you can leave ily but this is my house
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#ao3#learning english#I'm the best of my class at English because I spend my days reading fanfiction#idk at one point I found out English fanfics were definitely more and written better#and also there is near to zero lotr/the hobbit fanfiction and that was the main problem#btw my dad alwyas tells me#“if you want to learn English you gotta read a lot of book in Enlish#so here you go#now you have to read these''#and then I think “I literally spend 70% of my screen time reading about gay men in English”#but of course I can't say that because he's a homophobe
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I'm only a few episodes into jodie whittaker era (my first time), but thirteen has a lightness to her that's reminding me of nine and, not gonna lie, I'm tearing up a bit. and I'll be really interested to see if the comparison holds when the stakes get more personal.
#doctor who#it's a really weird transition from twelve who I was Not a great fan of and who felt pretty casually dark a lot of the time#nine (imo) was dark inside this very deliberate and consistent kindness and lightness and I'm looking to see if that's what's going on here#though I'm unsure yet if thirteen is lighter (and tbh politer) or if that's my own biases. withholding judgement for now.#also an interesting transition from twelve-era: I'm getting the feeling we're back to a different style of space worldbuilding with this#which I'm very interested in even if the decision to establish that there are white supremacists in the far future is..........#really not my favourite. I'm english that's how I express deep distaste.#it was fun for like five seconds to compare that guy to jack harkness and notice the differences#but nobody punched this guy in the face and dragged him off to face some sort of justice so it felt a bit unfinished you know?#I would have settled for seeing him suddenly face to face with a dinosaur with the camera cutting away mid-swear. given the circumstances.#(I have perhaps been watching too many shows where repugnant people get punched in the face! this is the opposite of a problem.)#that was a tangent upon a tangent; apologies#falderal speaks#hi I'm still half-asleep and very distracted at any given time but i'll figure out how not to be eventually <3
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