new plans, m.s

chapter nine, i think i love you synopsis: coming home for the holidays has its perks; you get to see your childhood best friends again, you get to spend the holidays with the people you’ve always loved, and the list goes on. of course, it also had its cons— you have to face your best friend, matt, the one that you’re madly in love with and have been in love with since you were merely thirteen. little do you know, though, that he’s dealing with the same mixed emotions of you and the holidays; biting his nails as he waits for you to knock on his front door.

you clicked off your phone and continued walking home, ignoring the fear that you felt at the bottom of your stomach as you walked away from the party. you were by yourself and when you walked in the dark when you were home, you always had one of the boys with you. usually, it was chris, mainly due to the fact that he wanted to make sure you were safe and because he knew you guys would go into the convenience store to get snacks before heading home. college was a different story, though, as you always had something to protect you, yet now— you didn’t. 

you were always paranoid about these situations, but the anger towards matt seemed to distract you from completely flipping out. your heart couldn’t handle the pain, in a sense. you had never left a boy so close, let alone the boy being one of your best friends, and you couldn’t stand yourself for putting you in this position. 

matt was your person; he helped you when things felt like they were crashing down; he made things stable. he made it feel like things were going to get better, with time, at least. he always reminded you how it was okay to make mistakes and that no matter what, you're human. no amount of failures could make you less of a human; they only make you stronger. there was no doubt on how much you love him, but your heart was thumping within your chest— a simple beg, a plea to get you to let him go. 

your brain was full of him— from the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs and the way he looks at the things he loves to the way he makes your heart ache and break, and the way that you would let him over and over again just to have him. 

you were snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of wheels and a voice yelling: “y/n! y/n! it’s me chris!” followed by a “please don’t turn around and beat my ass.”

you turned around and looked at him, a sigh escaping your lips as the tousle-haired boy looked at you with a small smile. you should have known that telling him and nick not to worry would only make them worry more, which would make one of them chase after you. they loved you, dearly, and they would do anything to make sure you were happy. 

“i’m going to be so for real though,” chris began, a small chuckle coming from him before he spoke up once more, “i did steal this bike from the front yard, and i have no idea who owns it.”

you look at him, trying to keep a straight face that expressed your upset toward the situation with matt, yet, you couldn’t help but laugh at the boy in front of you. his hair was all over the place and his cheeks were flushed pink from the wind. you wondered how you were so lucky to have such beautiful friends. 

“you didn’t have to come looking for me, you know,” you said, making eye contact with chris with a small smile on your face. you were still thinking about the bike, and your eyes darted down towards it before chris could reply.

“i know,” said chris, smiling with his eyes, “but i found matt and i talked to him.” 

there it was. your heart was in your throat and you couldn’t breathe; you knew there would be a catch, and that catch would be matthew. you wanted to yell at him, to explain that he hurt you immensely because of the situation you were now in. at the same time, though, you wanted to hug him— to never let go and to forget about this rough moment, to enjoy the time you get to spend at home happily without pain. 

yet, she was on your mind as well. matt’s smile, the hands— oh, you felt as if you were going to be sick at the thought of seeing matt like that when he was supposed to be with you. the girl was so beautiful, too, and you couldn’t help but feel inferior; to look at her in those few seconds and wish you were like her in some way or another.

you kept blankly staring at chris, unable to find the words to say to him, “i really think it’ll be good for you, y/n. you both need to talk this shit out, and i want you to see it from his perspective, the same way that he wants to see it from yours.”

“you’re so lucky that i love you and nick,” you said softly, walking behind chris to get on the bike. he took the helmet off and gave it to you, as he wanted you to be the safe one as he peddled through the quiet streets. 

“you know it’s not for us,” chris said, turning to look at you as he got a glimmer of the love in your eyes— the love for matt. the love for the boy who you have been in love with since the beginning of everything. although you might not express it; your eyes told more than your lips. he knew you wanted to talk to matt, to talk things out and to clear the air— to get the explanation, the closure in some way or another, that you needed to move on. 

“it’s for you. only you.” he finished, before putting his feet on the pedals and pushing you back to the house party. you enjoyed the scenery as you held onto chris, looking up occasionally to the moon as it followed you through the streets. you and chris didn’t talk much, but you two never had to, it was always comfortable in any environment. 

soon, you were hopping off the bike and waiting for chris to throw it in the yard for the owner to come back to it later. will they find their bike nowhere close to where they put it? absolutely, but to chris, that wasn’t even slightly important. the only thing important to him was you getting inside and talking things out with matt.

grabbing you by the hand, chris pulled you into the house and past the sofas, into the back inclosed porch where nick, matt, and a few other friends sat on an old set of furniture. you saw the light in nick’s eyes as he looked up at you and immense guilt overwhelmed you, thinking of those text conversations between the two of you. 

your heart was pounding when you looked to the corner and saw matt, shyly looking at you, as if he knew that he messed up. you hadn’t been on your phone since you last texted chris and nick, as you turned it off. you didn’t want to be bothered; you didn’t want to feel the pain that was erupting within your heart. with that, you never gave matt an explanation. that was to nick, mostly, as chris ran to go and find you. you talked to everyone except matt.

it didn’t take long until you got courage to talk to him, as soon as you walked entirely through the door, you made your way over to him. you held your hand out, in hopes that he would grab it and the two of you would walk out of the room and talk about whatever just happened.

yes, you were upset; your heart ached so badly at the thought of earlier, at the thought of the other girl, at the entire situation that was at hand. yet, chris came back for you, to tell you that you can fix whatever happened, that it was entirely a misunderstanding. deep down, no matter how upset you were with him, you knew that matt would have come after you, he was just too confused to know what was going on.

matt took your hand and stood up, slowly walking behind you as you dragged him out of the room. his friends smiled at him widely, as did chris and nick, hoping that things would be explained— hoping that at the end of the day, you two would be together. 

matt couldn’t think about anything except how warm your hands were, about how soft your skin was, and how pretty you were with your hair tousled by the wind. he also couldn’t stop thinking about how you smelled like strawberry perfume, and just how beautiful you looked under the party lights.

you dragged matt around the house until you found an empty room, after walking into four odd situations in the process. once you opened the door, you pulled matt in and closed the door softly behind you.

finally, you looked up at him to see his soft ocean blue eyes staring down at you,— full of confusion, full of admiration, and a part of you thought that there was a small sparkle of love mixed within his orbs as well. you shrugged your shoulders at the quick thought, although it never left your mind. not at all.

matt was the very first one to speak after you spent a second or two staring back at one another: “what happened earlier?” he questioned.

“that girl—,” you began, trembling a little, only at the mere thought of talking to matt since the situation earlier. he’s the only person in the world who could make you forget how to speak just by being in his presence. 

“she came up to you, and she grabbed your hand and you—, well, you held her hand back.” you continued, “and i know that sounds absolutely crazy that i got upset with that, and i know that, matt. it’s just hard to see the person you love holding hands with someone else, as soon as you walk back into the room. i didn’t know who she was, hell, i didn’t even know what was happening. instead of standing there and waiting for an explanation, i left. i couldn’t handle all of those feelings at once.”

matt looked at you, softly smiling before he leaned in closer and reached up to caress your cheeks. you couldn’t breathe at the closeness; even when wrestling with him as a kid, your faces had never been this close to one another. you felt your stomach spinning, your heart at your feet, and you didn’t know what to do except look at him in awe.

“that was a friend from my old job,” he laughed as he move to press his forehead against yours, “i only grabbed her hand back because we used to be close. nothing like a relationship, though. she’s been with the same guy for over five years. plus, i wouldn’t want to be with anyone who isn’t you.”

oh, did your heart fall further to the ground. you never gave him time to explain earlier, and maybe if you did, you wouldn’t have been in such a position to where you would have been so upset. you couldn’t help but think that things could have been completely different had you stayed and asked him later on throughout the night. yet, you always thought of the worst first in any situation because that’s how life was previously, before matt was something more than your best friend. but matt isn’t like the past. matt is the present, and to you, matt is the future.

“now that the air is clear,” said matt, a goofy smile now plastered across his face and still holding onto yours, “can i kiss you?” 

you whispered a soft ‘yes,’ and as soon as that one special word was spoken, his lips were connected to yours, a soft kiss that you felt as if you waited your entire life for. his thumb caressed your cheek, still, as he kissed you, a reassurance; a soft ‘i’m never leaving you, not now, not ever.’ 

he waited for you just as long as you waited for him—maybe even more— and a simple misunderstanding wasn’t going to keep him from you. he wanted to be with you more than anything, and he waited for this moment forever. he waited to be this close to you; to show you in a different way just how much he liked you, how much he wanted to be with you, because he believed that there weren’t enough words in the english dictionary to describe what he felt for you. 

what he felt for you was beyond like; the boy loved you, more than anything within the world. he knew, too, that you loved him just the same. he knew that you have loved him forever, and his heart promised to love you for even longer.

“i’m absolutely crazy about you, matt.” you spoke, “i’ve been crazy about you for years, and i’ve only ever wanted you to look at me the same.”

you moved to intertwine your hands with his, a small blush creeping across your face to which he smiled widely. he loved listening to you talk, and there you were, talking to him about how much you liked him; how you truly felt and have held in forever. just the thought of you feeling the same way about him made his heart erupt into a rapid beat. oh god, he was in love.

“i’m in love with you too, y/n,” he spoke, a giggle escaping both of your lips at his confession, “and i don’t just want to be your friend anymore.” 

your heart skipped a beat at his words, “then, what do you want to be?” you questioned, looking at him with a small smirk, knowing exactly what you wanted him to say.

“i want to be your boy—,” he stopped himself as he felt his own face heat up. after all of the confidence he got tonight, he was a flustered mess at the thought of asking you to be his girlfriend. he cleared his throat, trying to distract himself from how flustered he was, and spoke up once more, “i want to be your boyfriend.”

you could feel your cheeks heat up more; you wanted more than anything to be his girlfriend, ever since you were thirteen and playing video games together with nick and chris. you wanted to be his girlfriend since he pushed you on swings at the playground, and since he held your hand in terror mazes so you weren’t scared. there has never been a moment where you didn’t want to be his.

“good, matthew, because i want to be your girlfriend.”

taglist: @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life​, @lostwonderwall​, @lomlolivia​, @maddymaddie​, @kylespencersvocalcords, @stxrniqlo, @sophialimass, @loonielol, @siriusfahey, @getbillzoned, @kjd55, @ceceswritings​​, @dancingintheedark​, @yoongoboongo, each out to be added :-)

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Excessive || leah williamson x reader

leah williamson x reader

prompt: It is your daughter’s first Christmas and Leah absolutely spoils your daughter.

warnings: maybe slightly suggestive at the very end, mostly fluff though!

a/n: Short and sweet one for Christmas day, merry Christmas everyone! Hope everything went well today. Something about Leah and Christmas warms my heart.

The snow crunched softly under your feet as you enter yours and Leah’s shared home. You had ran out to grab a few last minute Christmas items for tomorrow. Opening the door, you can hear Leah’s voice echo through the house and the occasional babble from your daughter. Dumping the acquired bags from your minor trip in the kitchen and taking off your coat and gloves, you make your way towards the noise.

Your house was flooded with Christmas decor, twinkling lights hung from every corner. A large white tree with gold decorations and matching colored tinsel stood in the center of your living room, creating a fairytale setting. This was your daughter’s first Christmas as she born in late May. Everyone knew that Leah absolutely adores Christmas, it being her ultimate favorite holiday, so you already knew she was going to make your daughter’s day incredibly special, that combined with her first ever Christmas, she was in for a treat.

Hearing you enter the room, Leah faces the giggly baby your way before saying, “Look who is home!”. A large smile appears on your daughter’s face as she spots your return and makes an effort to escape Leah’s arms and be in yours. Grabbing her, you place her on you hip and spin in a few slow circles, around and around, forcing a laugh from the both of you and you place a small raspberry kiss on her cheek.

Leah has now gotten to her feet and forces you and your daughter in for a strong hug, quickly placing a soft kiss on first your temple and then your daughter’s.

“How was she while I was gone love?” you ask her as you bounce your daughter on your hip, her tiny little hands trying to pull anything she can get ahold of.

“A perfect little Angel like always. Aren’t you always an Angel.” she replies while gently trying to pretend to pinch the small baby’s cheek. Looking back and forth between your wife and daughter is when you first realize their matching pjs. “Wearing matching sets, without me?” you pretend to be hurt.

“Yours are upstairs love, go get changed and we can start a Christmas movie before we lie her down.” Leah explains as you hand her the small baby and run to quickly discard your old clothes and place the identical pair of pajamas on and return to the two.

Upon your return, “Look how gorgeous mommy looks in her set.” Leah says, making your heart melt. “I can say the same about her mama.” you reply before grabbing your phone to capture your outfits on camera. Leah and your daughter in Christmas themed pajamas next to the tree quickly became your favorite photo you have ever taken, posting it to your instagram before closing your phone.

With a Christmas movie on and a bottle of warm milk in your daughter’s tummy, she was out like a light, snoring softly as she was nestled in between you and Leah. Leah carefully picked her up and placed her in her cot before returning to you.

“Okay baby we need to wrap some of her gifts.” you tell her, walking to the closet where you were storing a few of the gifts you had gotten for your daughter. You and Leah had discussed that she necessarily would not be old enough to fully understand Christmas and unwrap gifts so you would mostly focus on a few toys and a few cute outfits. She already had everything she could ever need and want so you didn’t want to waste money on stuff she wouldn’t use.

Returning with a few of the items, Leah is awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck, you could tell she was slightly stressed. “What is wrong baby?” you ask out.

“Before I begin, you have to promise me that you won’t get mad” she rambles out. Quickly confused, you look at her to continue, “I promise” you say questioningly, “What did you do?”

“I might have bought a few more things for her.” she says quietly, almost like she was scared of saying it.

You laugh out, “That’s fine Lee, I also got a few more things for her when I was out, I couldn’t help myself. Go get them so we can wrap them for her for tomorrow!” you tell her.

“Well you see thats the issue” she says before a long pause, “It might be more than a few per-say.”

Grabbing your hand, she leads you towards the guest room, a room you probably haven’t entered in ages. Walking into the room, you see an indescribable amount of toys, clothes, and accessories, just toys upon toys.

“Leah Cathrine Williamson” is all you can mutter out as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “I thought we discussed this!” you say.

In the room, you take notice of things like a bike, “Lee she is just over 7 months old, she can’t even stand, let alone ride a bike.” you laugh out.

“I know baby, but I would be at the store or online shopping and I would see something and I had to immediately buy it for her. Then at some point, I just kept buying things. And it is her first Christmas, I want to make it perfect for her.” she tries to explain.

Your immediate anger has subsided and has now been replaced with adoration for your wife in front of you. How could you possibly be mad at her when she is so sweet. She makes your heart melt, all she wants to do is make tomorrow special and share her adoration for the festive holiday with your daughter.

“Okay Lee, I’m not mad baby. It is kind of the sweetest thing ever. But if we don’t start wrapping gifts now, we won’t be done until next year’s Christmas.” you tell her as you have now moved to wrap gifts since there is basically a toy store in your guest room.

“I’m telling Santa to put you on the naughty list for this.” you tell your wife as you are nearly finished wrapping the gifts.

She fake scoffs, “You wouldn’t” she says as she pretends to be highly offended.

“Oh, I would.” you quickly reply.

“I can make it up to baby.” she tells you as she pulls you in for a deep kiss.

Before you head to bed for the night to prepare for tomorrow, Leah says, “Hey love”, you look towards her, “I’m like 95% sure my mom did the same thing for baby girl.” she says. All you can do is laugh. Like mother like daughter.

BEEFLEAF THOUGHT (Mainly He Xuan thought but fuck it he's intertwined with Shi Qingxuan and therefore all He Xuan thoughts are beefleaf thoughts)

So so so, in my readings of tgcf and the wonderful mess that is all of the internet thoughts on it I've come to the personal conclusion that to become a supreme you have to have *big* feelings. Very big and very deep feelings.

Our big-brained, obvious example of this is Hua Cheng. Man's big feeling is devotion, love. He is absolutely besotted for Xie Lian. Would do anything for his God. We're so proud of him for it too.

But He Xuan? He's the only other real supreme we have aside from Hua Cheng (Jun Wu, I'm sorry, you're wonderful but Godhood fucks with a man) and the idea that his big feeling that turned him into a supreme was rage and hatred never sat quite right with me. It's not that hatred and rage aren't powerful enough emotions to make a supreme, and those being his emotions on the surface make him a wonderful parallel to Hua Cheng. But rage isn't really what fuels him. If it was, he'd have dissipated after the Blackwater arc. Taken his revenge and called it a day.

Yet, he sticks around. He *never* dissipates. He just sits at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity. Which doesn't sound like rage or hatred. I mean, you'd assume a calamity built on hate would continue his revenge path until all of heaven is gone and no one can have godhood because he couldn't. But he doesn't. He just... waits.

This isn't to say he wasn't angry, btw. He was absolutely angry, and he had every right to be. His desire for revenge had to come from somewhere, let alone the emotional payment to actually planning and pulling it off. I just don't think that was his greatest regret/feeling/desire at death. I mean, He Xuan had his whole life taken from him. All of it. His family, his fiancee, his passions, his work. Everything he worked towards and for got stolen from him by others. And while it's clearly very rage inducing for him (I mean he has a mental breakdown and kills everyone who's ever wronged him), the underlying feeling through it all was probably despair. He probably just wanted things to go back to how they were when his whole family was around and alive.

And this despair and longing doesn't just go away when he learns the truth of what's been done to him. He's still a person. He can't just throw away those emotions because new ones have taken center stage. But rage is a way easier feeling to work with than misery, so He Xuan defers to it. He jumps on the bandwagon of revenge against the people who wronged him once again and goes with it. And it gets him through Mt. Tonglu and up into heaven and right where he says he wants to be. Right up until he can execute his revenge. And then he just stops? And decides that he's going to be best friends with Shi Qingxuan for a few hundred years first? I'm no rage expert, but that doesn't sound very revenge like to me. Which leads very neatly into the point of this post, took me a while I know.

He Xuan's reason for sticking around is he wants to be loved.

I mean, look at it. He says he hates Shi Qingxuan's guts and wants him and his brother dead more than anything, but also spends hundreds of years hanging out with this person he hates so much when revenge is right there? He could have done it whenever. There was no logical reason I could wait to wait as long as he did. Unless he was enjoying Shi Qingxuan's companionship. And Shi Qingxuan clearly loved him (even just platonically. We love our friends in this house). And He Xuan hadn't had someone care about him that much since his death. It was probably insanely overwhelming and equally as wonderful.

And then he fucks it all by actually going through with the revenge but feelings are hard and he's clearly not great with them so oops. But but but, his great famous line during the Blackwater Arc is him telling Shi Qingxuan that they've used the wrong name. He, even if it's just subconsciously, wants Shi Qingxuan to see him as He Xuan, not Ming Yi. He, in some capacity, wants Shi Qingxuan to see and love He Xuan, not the mask he had on.

But then, after the revenge, he doesn't disappear. He straight up goes out of his way to return Shi Qingxuan's fan to them. To make something right. To return something to how it was before.

Except this time, he can't blame the people around him for the change. He can't turn his rage at the rest of the world because he's the one who ruined the only thing he wanted for himself. So he finally, *finally*, has to face this sadness and longing that's been plaguing him from the start. He got his revenge, he got all the anger out, and it still wasn't what he wanted. Because from the beginning, all he wanted was to be appreciated and loved and wanted and not have that torn away from him.

And he fucked it for himself in the end because lets be honest if he had a civil fucking conversation with Shi Qingxuan and didn't literally threaten their brothers life things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, I'm crying now. If you read through my jumbled 2 AM thoughts all the way, thank you. I will edit this when it's not 3 am. and post it.

---

Editing me: wtf was I on? I don't remember half of these thoughts??? I'm posting it because somewhere in this hot mess is a point I'm trying to make, and I'm not going to deny 2 AM Elian the chance to share it.

I was rethinking the bookshop meta I wrote a while ago and realized I was not thinking big enough.

The bookshop has always been Aziraphale's version of Crowley's plants (his trauma reenactment), but also, absolutely everything Aziraphale does in Season 2 is a re-creation of Heaven's role. Crowley's behavior also encompasses everything, not just his plants.

I've seen it suggested that centering Aziraphale and Crowley's trauma histories is reducing their characters to behaving like just reactive victims instead of survivors with agency. Or worse, it's "excusing bad behavior." I don't agree with either of these, because I feel that part of Good Omens is about how large, powerful systems affect individuals, and so the context of every character's decisions matters a lot to the overall themes of the story. Everyone starts out working within a system they believe to reflect reality and then has to learn how to break free of it. You cannot really illustrate that without having the characters start out being genuinely trapped with different ways of coping with their reality.

This is an attempt at a pretty big-picture meta. Although it isn't a plot prediction, it's how I think some of the series' themes are going to progress. It starts out perhaps a little grim, but in the long run, it's how Aziraphale's character growth and relationship with Crowley can simultaneously be massive for them as individuals, a crucial part of the overarching narrative message of the series, and symbolic of a change in all of Heaven and Hell, all while allowing the themes to continue to prioritize human free will.

In short, it's about Aziraphale's problems, but it's also meant to be an Aziraphale love post.

All of the below exists in tandem with Good Omens as a comedy of errors. Just because there are heavy ideas does not mean they will not also be funny. Look back on how much of Season 2 seemed silly until we started to pick it apart! One of the amazing things about Good Omens is how it manages to do both silly and serious at once! (I feel like that's maybe a little Terry Pratchett DNA showing through. "Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door," as Terry himself said.)

Aziraphale has really embraced his connection to Crowley in Season 2, and he has also become considerably more assertive toward Heaven and Hell. These are both major growth points compared to the beginning of Season 1.

However, again, we have the concept of growing pains...Aziraphale is starting to re-create Heaven's role in his relationship with Crowley and humanity. It's really obvious with the Gabriel argument and the I Was Wrong Dance, but I think we see it all over the place: he seems to feel any serious dissent is a betrayal. He also seems to assume there's a dominance hierarchy and he, of course, is on top. Now that he's decided to take control of his own future, then surely that does mean he's the one in control, right?

With all that said, he still seems to have trouble being direct about the feelings that make him most vulnerable. He manipulates people and engineers situations in which he can try to get his emotional needs met rather than saying things outright (case in point: the Ball).

Like I pointed out in the bookshop meta: subconsciously, he's playing the role of God, modified with what God would be if She were everything he wants Her to be. He's generous, almost infinitely sweet, always does what's best for people...or, at least, what he believes is best for people. During the Ball, Aziraphale influences the people around him to be comfortable and happy even when they're not supposed to be, and he limits their ability to talk about things he thinks are too rude or improper for happy, formal occasions.

Doesn't this pattern sort of make sense for an angel who's just discovering free will? Like, at the end of Season 1, he made an enormous choice to stand against Heaven and realized he could survive it. Now he's gone a bit overboard with exerting his own will. Unfortunately, while he's learned to question upper management, he's still operating on a fundamental framework of the universe where there have to be two sides and there has to be a hierarchy. Also, since Aziraphale is on the Good side, he of course has to gear his desires into what's Good rather than just what he wants, so he sometimes thinks he's doing things for others when really he's doing things for himself. (For example, matchmaking Maggie and Nina started out as something he wanted to use to lie to Heaven, but by the time he was commenting "Maggie and Nina are counting on me," he seemed sincere, like he had genuinely convinced himself this was for them and not for himself.)

Aziraphale knows Heaven interferes in human affairs, ostensibly on God's behalf. He thinks She should be intervening in ways that are beneficial. What I believe the narrative wants him to learn is that God and Heaven shouldn't be manipulating people at all, not even for Good, and in fact there is no real meaningful hierarchy.

Anyway, a top-down, totally unquestioned hierarchy is the primary social relationship Aziraphale has known, and it's certainly been the dominant one for most of his existence: you're either the boss or the underling, and if someone seriously questions you, they don't have faith in you - they don't respect you.

No, his relationship with Crowley has not always been like that, but they've been creating their relationship from whole cloth, so how would he know it shouldn't become that way, now that it's "real" and out in the open?

No, human relationships aren't like that, but Aziraphale clearly does not see himself or Crowley as human. As the relationship approached something that seemed like it must be "legitimate," Aziraphale would naturally look for a framework to fit it to. And again, the only one he has is the shape of "intimacy," or what passes for it, in Heaven. What has "trust" always meant in all his "legitimate" relationships? It has always meant unquestioning obedience, of course. What have the warm fuzzies felt like in Heaven? Well, praise from the angels above him is nice, so that must be it, right?

Aziraphale even describes being in love as "what humans do," separating out that relationship style. Someday, I think he'll realize he favors the shape of love on Earth, something that's more inherently equal, more give-and-take. Look at how he idealizes it from afar at the Ball. But I think that, like Crowley before Nina pointed it out, Aziraphale maybe hasn't 100% grokked that it can and in fact should work that way for him and Crowley, too. Just like people can desperately want to dance without knowing how to dance, or can desperately want to speak a language without knowing the language, Aziraphale does not instinctively know how to have the kind of relationship where he can be truly vulnerable and handle Crowley's vulnerability as well.

Aziraphale is downright obsessed with French, known as the "language of love." He's trying to learn it the Earthly way. He's not very good at it, but he wants to be.

This pattern is still present during the Final Fifteen even if we assume Aziraphale is asking Crowley to become an angel again out of fear (and I find it very hard to believe that fear doesn't factor in at all). He's still building his interactions off of that Heaven-like framework: he asks Crowley to trust him blindly, he tries to assume a leadership role with a plan Crowley never agreed to and couldn't follow anyway, and he tries very hard not to leave room for an ounce of doubt. He also suggests making Crowley his second-in-command and obviously does not register that this could possibly be offensive. Again, I think this is because for Aziraphale, there has always been a hierarchy in Heaven, it's started to transfer to his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of that assumption about relationships is going to take more processing than a single argument can do.

As I mentioned in another post, I don't believe Aziraphale had a real choice about whether he accepted the Supreme Archangel position. I think he could sense that he was not getting out of it and chose to look on the bright side, to see it as an opportunity. And instead of looking realistically at how that would feel to Crowley, he tried to sweep Crowley up to Heaven with him using toxic positivity, appeals to morality, and appeals to their relationship itself. Again, mimicking what Heaven has done to him.

To me, "they're not talking" is a big clue that Aziraphale's approach with Crowley is going to be the mistake the narrative really wants him to face. "Not talking" has, thus far, been presented as the central conflict of Season 3! After losing the structure and feedback Heaven gave him, Aziraphale started creating Heaven-like patterns in his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of those patterns is what he needs to do. Discovering first-hand that Heaven's entire modus operandi is bad no matter who's in charge is how he can do it.

Look, either you're sympathetic to Aziraphale's control issues or you're not. Personally, I am. He's trying so, so hard to be good. I think trying to figure yourself out (which Aziraphale is clearly doing) is hard enough, and when you start balancing what you want for yourself, what you think are your responsibilities, and what other people are actively asking of you, you're bound to fall into the patterns that have been enforced for your whole life or for millions of years, whichever came first.

It is very easy to assume that people should Just Be Better, but it's not actually that simple to be a thinking, feeling person. My anxiety tends to move in a very inward direction and Aziraphale's moves outward. But I'd imagine the desperation and exhaustion are the same.

Unlike Nina, Aziraphale became a rebound mess. I don't think it occurred to either him or to Crowley that there could be any soul-searching, anything but carrying on with the new normal after their stalemate with Heaven and Hell.

Now, instead of getting rejected by Heaven and surviving it, Aziraphale needs to be the one to reject Heaven. It needs to be a choice. And that choice is going to come from realizing that Heaven isn't just poorly managed but also represents a bad framework for all relationships.

How could this happen? Good question. We're obviously not supposed to know yet, although I think picking at existing themes within the narrative could possibly give us hints.

It's possible Aziraphale's character development trajectory will be akin to Adam Young's in Season 1. Please see this stellar post by eidetictelekinetic for more thoughts about it, but basically, in Season 1, Adam saw that the world was not what he wanted it to be and decided his vision was better; as he ascended to power, he took complete control over all his friends and then soon realized that's not what he wants because there's no point in trying to have relationships with people who can't choose you. It's that realization that leads Adam to conclude he doesn't want to take over the world and to reject the role he's expected to play as the Antichrist. Maybe Aziraphale's trip to Heaven is an attempt at a control move during which he'll realize he's defeating his own point.

Aziraphale clearly wants to be chosen. From the very beginning, he's wanted to be special and cared for - just like Crowley has.

Incidentally, I think Aziraphale and Crowley are going to represent pieces of the bigger picture here, and this - first imitating and then rejecting Heaven's relationship style - can both symbolize Heaven's transformation and directly start it (probably in an amusing, somewhat indirect way, like when he handed off the flaming sword to Adam).

If I'm right - which I may very well not be - I think this would all be so, SO cool. Like, "An angel who is subconsciously trying to be a better God" is a concept with so much potential for both tender kindness and incredible darkness. Add to that the comedy-of-errors aspect of "...but even deeper down, he'd much rather just be super gay on Earth" and you have, in my opinion, a perfect character.

I think this could work for Crowley as well. It's obvious that in the Good Omens universe, at least so far, Hell is all about detesting humans and punishing them; Satan seems to genuinely hate humans (unlike in some of NG's other works). Our perspective on this could change, but it potentially puts Crowley in a complementary position to Aziraphale, as a demon who is trying to be "better" than Satan. But this isn't about being "morally better." It's about things having a point. Crowley's exploits usually have a point: they test people. And you can pass his tests! He sincerely likes making trouble, but Crowley doesn't live to punish.

But, once again, the above paragraph would describe a transient phase for this infinitely charming character. Because, again, I think the point will be that in the end, Crowley's deeper-down desire, moreso than testing Creation, is watching it grow with a glass of wine in hand.

It has been a whole entire week since I posted my previous set of recs and guess who is still hip deep in BATFAMILY fic and really wants to cry about feelings about all the Bats and Birds, but most especially my beloved Dick Grayson? I enjoy fic of all the characters, there should hopefully be something for most fans here, I eventually spread my wings a bit (ha ha) through the fandom, but absolutely I feel I should warn you all that I play favorites and I’m not subtle about it. In my defense he’s really annoying in the most delightful way, how could I not love him the most? So, here, have week #2’s recs where I dump 60+ more fics on you because this fandom is on fucking fire with how good it is and how much I love everyone here. God bless fic writers, you are all doing the lord’s work of giving me three novels worth a week to read and knocking it out of the park while you do it. BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I’M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ The Painful Truth by RascalJoy (DarkQuill), dick & bruce & wally & artemis & m'gann & conner & dinah, 6.2k      In a mission gone wrong, Robin finds himself being forcefully interrogated under…influence. “Now, you’re probably wondering why we haven’t just yanked your mask off and been done with this whole thing, hmm? It’s because this way is so much more fun.” ✦ a home not yet a home by Mayarenerose, dick & bruce, 1.1k      Dick just likes climbing to the roof sometimes. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He doesn’t. He just needs to be high up sometimes. He likes looking at the stars. Stars are hard to come by in the city and you need to be high up to even see them properly. ✦ Friends That Say (You’re Not Alone) by ProsperDemeter, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 3.5k      Richard. The kid. Richard Grayson. Clark didn’t feel ready to meet the child that Bruce took in. What if he was a mini-Bruce? What in the world would Clark do then? ✦ Taking Flight: A Tragicomedy in Four Acts by WingFeathers, dick & bruce & alfred & clark, 48.7k      John and Mary Grayson die; Dick becomes Robin. This is everything that happens in between, a/k/a, how Gotham City ripped one family and identity from Dick and gave him another. An origin story in the Rebirth spirit, weaving together threads from Tec #40, Dark Victory, Robin: Year One, New 52, and more. ✦ Motion Sickness by Arwriter, dick & bruce & cast, 4.2k      A routine patrol is interrupted when Robin realizes he’s being followed. There’s no attack, no ambush, no weapons drawn. Dick doesn’t understand what this man wants, or why his gentle touch hurts so bad. But Batman seems to know, and Dick just wants someone to tell him what he did wrong. ✦ do as I say (not as I do) by daringyounggrayson, dick & bruce, 1.1k      “Don’t be mad.” Bruce has been raising Dick long enough to know that that sentence never bodes well. Especially when it’s the first thing to pop out of the twelve-year-old’s mouth when Bruce answers the phone. ✦ Burn Rubber by HoodEx, dick & bruce & roy, 3.5k      Roy couldn’t help but feel out of place like his presence was keeping Bruce from acting like himself. Whatever “himself” looked like. Bruce had always been a bit of a cold asshole anytime Roy had been around him. Even when Bruce talked to Dick, there was a barrier there that made their conversations seem strictly business. Some part of Roy had always wondered if Bruce was the same way with Dick at home. For Dick’s sake, he sure hoped not. OR the one where Roy gets to see Bruce act like a dad. Also, there are cars. Lots of cars. ✦ Surprise, You’re Adopted by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce, 1.8k      Dick gets kidnapped. Bruce gets worried. Things turn out alright in the end, though. ✦ without you i am surely the last of my kind by nosecoffee, dick & bruce & clark & j'onn, 6.6k      (Bruce Wayne also knows how it feels to be a scared little boy who just watched his parents die, telepathic mind meddling aside, and has had his eyes fixed on Dick Grayson since his parents fell, so of course he’s going to get him. It’s all he can do.) (Or, Dick Grayson is a traumatised alien empath with bad timing, and Bruce Wayne still needs to learn how to verbalise his emotions.) ✦ The Bone Road by scpnightwing, dick & bruce & alfred, 63.8k wip      By night, Robin was his partner in crime, but once the sun rose, all Dick could be was a mirror of his tragedy, haunting his halls and asking for more than Bruce had in him to give. (The early days of Batman and Robin, and the many mistakes therein) BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ The Shape Of You (Was Jagged And Weak) by WinterSky101, dick & bruce & jason & tim & slade & cast, 40.6k      Six months ago, Nightwing died. They never found the body. Last week, Deathstroke arrived in Gotham. He brought a partner with him. ✦ We Were Built to Fall Apart by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & tim, 1.2k      Dick is hurt, tired, and ready to let go. Bruce doesn’t seem to be ready to let him. ✦ It’s a Wonderful Earth-218 by BeatriceEagle, dick & bruce & past dick/babs & cast, 7.4k      As Blüdhaven burns, Dick makes a wish that he’d never been born. He wakes up in a world where that’s true, being followed around by a supervillain who just really wants to get back to taking over the world. ✦ the higher fidelity by birdsofthesoul, dick & bruce & damian, 3.6k      Bruce goes sheet-white, looking like Dick’s just cut him to the quick, and Dick can’t help but think they should have booked a flight, discretion be damned. This — this is why they don’t do road trips. Cars are like confessionals, cramped spaces built for coercing confessions, and neither of them are good with words. ✦ Theory of Relativity by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & jason & cast, de-aged!dick, 2.2k wip      In which Dick Grayson gets de-aged and everybody freaks out ✦ hold the fort (for i am coming) by deargalileo, dick & bruce & jason & tim & duke, de-aged!dick, 3.6k      Jason’s jaw dropped. The tiny human child toddled in front of him, gripping at his pant legs. Automatically, he bent his knees slightly. The child lost its grip, and fell flat onto its ass. They both froze. The child’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly. “No no no, don’t cry,” Jason rushed out. He leaned down and scooped the child into his arms. “Don’t cry, okay?” The child grabbed onto his shoulder as Jason settled it (him?) onto his upper hip. Big, blue eyes blinked up at him, shining with unshed tears. When the fuck did B have the time to adopt a new kid? ✦ There’s Always Another One by lapsedpacifist, dick & hal (& bruce), 2.5k      After Bruce kicked Dick out, there was a very particular place Dick decided to visit. Well, visit, hide in, it was all one and the same. He could do it without Bruce! Just a shame Hal was finished with his assignment a week earlier than anticipated. ✦ The True Sons of Batman by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & damian & jason & talia & cast, 10.8k      What if Dick Grayson was Bruce Wayne’s biological son? ✦ Hey! He Attempted a Coup! by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & clark & justice league & zod, 3.1k      What if Dick Grayson was a Kryptonian? ✦ Unsteady by 60sec400, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & barbara & cast, 14.8k      Nightwing is 22 when he’s hit by, well, something. They haven’t actually figured that out yet. But now he’s ten years old and a child and Damian struggles to see the man who he had looked to as a father forget who he ever was. De-aged fic. AU. BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I’M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ Mirage (What I See In You) by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, dick & damian, 3.4k      Grayson’s gaze flicks upwards to meet his, and suddenly his expression softens. He smiles. “It’s okay,” he says, the movement of his lips clear even if his voice sounds like it’s coming through a broken radio. Suddenly, he’s pressing a rebreather to Damian’s face. His own rebreather, whole and unbroken. ✦ The Dog Days Are Done by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian & cast, 3k      Dick is a good guy. He is. He knows that. Just like he knows that bribing your wayward, animal-loving, emotionally-traumatized brother to come see you with a puppy is exactly what all good guys do. That was a fact. ✦ To the Moon by theLiterator, dick & damian, 9k      A newly resurrected Damian Wayne does not believe Dick Grayson is dead. Spyral has been quietly helping to deal with the aftermath of Leviathan’s reign of terror and is wary of clones. Dick Grayson does not believe Damian Wayne is alive. (Together they fight crime, but’s always been true, hasn’t it?) ✦ Redemption Lies Plainly in Truth by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, dick & damian, 6.2k      Damian tries to pull his wrist out of his grasp. Any other time, Dick would let him go without hesitation, always careful to make sure his personal space is respected. This time, he catches his other wrist as well, gentle but firm as he crouches down to make eye contact. “Hey,” he says, smiling gently. “Do you trust me?” ✦ whether you’re high or low by Anonymous, dick & damian & jason, 1.9k      Dick’s first visit back to Gotham in a while ends with a shattered TV screen and more questions than answers for Damian and Jason. ✦ wrap myself in a thin sheet of ice by emavee, dick & damian, 3.3k      Damian falls victim to a witch’s curse, giving him a week to live before his heart turns to ice. There is a cure, but there’s no way someone like Damian would ever receive a kiss of true love. ✦ as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia, dick & damian, 2.7k      Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I’m not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology. BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY’RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ Say Uncle by Megaerakles, tim & jason & bruce & dick & steph & cast, 46.3k      Tim is prepared to take the steps necessary to ensure that Bruce will not feel obligated to adopt Tim when a comatose Jack Drake inevitably dies. But what could be better than preventing Bruce from ending up with a son he doesn’t want? Bringing back the one he does. Jason agrees to the Replacement’s stupid, stupid plan to invite some strange adult man he’s never met to come live with him, if only to keep the idiot alive long enough for him to serve his purpose in the Great Red Hood Revenge Scheme. Might this new roommate situation have an impact on either of their worldviews? Surely not… ✦ Ain’t No Compass, Ain’t No Map by ebjameston, tim & jason & dick & cast, outsider pov, 51.8k      A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood’s lieutenant, and an intern who’s promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It’s a weird day for Theo. ✦ The Longer You Stay by emiv, bruce/selina & dick & jason & tim, 64.3k      Bruce Wayne was never meant to be part of Selina’s clean slate. Then again, neither were a circus boy, a street rat or a rich kid. For a girl who didn’t like strings, Selina found herself getting attached. ✦ Falling, Catching by Freezer7, dick & jason/roy, 4k      The call comes in at two thirty-four am, on Dick’s first night off in three weeks. ✦ Pi��ata by Maximum_Quinn, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & steph & duke, 2.2k      “I found… something weird today.” “Weird how?” “I was checking out that half-destroyed apartment building today, and there was, like… papier-mâché everywhere? In Robin colors.” (Duke learns about an odd tradition between the Bats and the Rogues.) ✦ Five Times Dick Was Tim’s Safety Net and One Time Tim Was Dick’s by PrinceJakeFireCake, dick & tim, 5.2k      “Tim forced his gaze away from his phone, took a moment to breathe deeply, then tried to figure out the best way not to die anytime soon. For Bruce. For Alfred. For his friends. For Dick.” Dick has always been there for Tim, even before they knew each other. ✦ wet teeth, shining eyes, glimmering by a fire (who will i be tonight?) by lifetimeoflaughter, dick & jason & cast, 2.3k      They’re standing on a rooftop. It’s not very high up; only about ten floors, give or take. The moon isn’t out tonight. It’s dark. It’s too dark to tell if it’s blood that’s dripping from Jason’s gloved fists. ✦ smeared with oil (like david’s boy) by call_me_steve, bruce & dick & tim & damian, de-aged!damian, 2.1k      Dick’s leaning over the edge of the couch, watching a tired Bruce stare lovingly down at the baby cradled in his arms. The baby’s swaddled in soft green blankets, probably procured by Alfred at some point or another. It’s hard to believe that this is actually Damian- Damian, and his big, bright, brown eyes; his soft, baby hair; his pudgy cheeks and small fingers. Clear of a snarl and frown and, instead, reduced to soft babbles and the occasional giggle. In his chest, Dick’s heart flutters. He feels his breath stop for all of a moment- God, this kid already has him wrapped around his finger. “Can I hold him?” ✦ There in the Sudden Blackness by CamsthiSky, dick & tim & damian, 1.7k      Tim and Dick argue, and at the end, Tim’s not actually sure if either of them actually won. ✦ The Mechanics of a Hug by incogneat_oh, dick & tim & damian & bruce, 4.1k      “So,” Tim ventures. “It's… what, a cuddle pollen?” Bruce just shrugs. “Something like that.” ✦ Taking Care of Business by Nokomis, dick & tim, 1.7k      Tim (only somewhat reluctantly) accompanies Dick on an undercover mission at an Elvis convention. ✦ where were you when I was king in this part of town? by Cerusee, dick & jason & bruce, 4k      The teen sitting next to him had mostly polished off his pork noodles, and he was eyeing Nightwing’s. Nightwing handed them over without a word. “Why,” he said, more to himself than the kid, “why, oh, why do I feel like I know you?” Because you do, came the unbidden thought. ✦ head in the clouds by Alienu, dick & jason & tim & damian, 4.7k      “Hey,” Tim says out of the blue. “Has anyone ever noticed that Damian has, like, weirdly sharp canines?” Dick makes a face. “What?” he asks. Then seems to think about it a little more, and says, “Oh, I mean… kind of? I don’t really pay attention to his teeth.” He turns to Damian. “Robin, let me see your teeth.” The kid growls. “I’m not afraid to bite you, Nightwing.” “Furry,” Jason coughs. Damian throws a batarang at him. ✦ A little more heart and soul by ruesyblues, dick & jason & damian, 2k      What do you do when the brother you raised and loved and left now seems to be withdrawing and you want the best for him but you’re not sure if you did the right thing and oh fuck what if you made a mistake?? (Dick wants Damian to be happy. He just has no clue how to accomplish that.) ✦ To Reconcile by CasualDanger, dick & jason, 2.4k      “Babs slapped me at your funeral.” Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up. “She hated me in that moment. I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died. And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone? Because I was gone?” ✦ damian clone triplets!!! by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & damian, 2.1k      Bruce finds and rescues three baby Damian clones~!!! babies~!! ✦ fear toxin (◡‿◡✿) by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & jason & tim & cass & steph & damian & alfred, 3.6k      six drabbles about batkids crying and screaming after being dosed with scarecrow’s fear gas~ (⊙‿⊙✿) ✦ Two Birds, One Stone(d) by MichaBerry, tim(/kon) & bruce & dick & jason & alfred, 5.8k      After a drugs bust gone sideways, Tim is a very high little bird. Cue shenanigans and family bonding. BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE’S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once, tim/kon & damian/jon & dick & jason & bruce & cast, nsfw, 22.4k      Damian was… here. At Kent Farm. Dressed in the too-big Batman pajamas that Dick had bought him last Christmas as a joke. And- And- Tim was wearing Kon’s t-shirt and his hair was messy and his lips were swollen and- He wasn’t ready for this- He wasn’t- He couldn’t- BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR: ✦ Hard Truths and Other Realities by CKBookish, dick & bruce & jason & clark & wally & cast, 113.6k wip      Clark shifted his weight making the floorboards creak and groan under his feet. “Dick I hate to see you–” He paused searching for the right word. Dick snorted. “Wallow?” Clark sighed. “That’s not what I was going to say.” “I know. I can go to the barn and hang out there if I’m bothering you and Lois.” Dick pushed himself up. Of course he should have thought of that. Lois didn’t want some random teen laying around her home on Christmas Eve. ✦ You Won’t Wake Up Alone by DawnsEternalLight, dick & bruce & damian & jason & tim, 5.2k      Dick’s captured and drugged and probably about to die. The last thing he wants to do is die in front of his family, especially not his baby brothers, all he wants is to be with Bruce and feel safe again. ✦ The Robin Manual by lurkinglurkerwholurks, dick & bruce & damian, 2.3k      Bad days were nothing new. Most of the time, he could feel them coming the way a swimmer could feel the approach of something huge beneath the surface of the water. The pressure would start to build, tugging at him like undertow by the shore, and it was always a gamble to see how long he could tarry before the pull yanked him under. ✦ the world is ending and i’m still numb by Arwriter, dick & bruce & jason & tim & alfred & cass & stephanie & damian & barbara & duke & cast, rape aftermath/read the tags, 20.7k      She’s gone, and he’s home, but Dick doesn’t know how to move on. He isn’t alone, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to ask for help. ✦ Up High by CamsthiSky, dick & damian, ~1k      “Grayson, what are you doing up here?” Dick shrugs, a sad smile pulling at his lips. He’d stopped asking that when his feet first started to take him up here years ago. “I like the view.” ✦ here comes the rain again by pocketofsky, dick & jason & tim & damian, rape aftermath/read the tags, 14.1k      Dick doesn’t patrol when it rains. Not since Blüdhaven. And everyone knows that, but they don’t know why. Or: Dick slowly but surely confronts his trauma. Now featuring: a train, pain, and a lot of rain. ✦ Happy Little Bluebirds Fly Beyond the Rainbow (Why Oh Why Can’t I) by honeycombclaire, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cass, 26.9k      After being subjected to the Mad Hatter’s dream machine, Dick gets stuck in a dream world where he finally has everything he wants. His parents are alive, his family is together, and he still gets to be Nightwing. Everything is perfect. Using the machine, the Bats invade Dick’s mind to bring him back. They don’t expect to find out just how much Dick has been hurting. ✦ Maybe, just maybe, he should call Bruce…Nah. by memearchive, dick & bruce & jason & tim, rape aftermath/read the tags, 5.8k      “Yeah, 34 deaths, 35 including Blockbuster, is a lot. Yeah, his home and everything he owns is gone. Yeah, his safehouses and everything in those are all ash, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he gets it- but he’s dealt with loss before, and maybe 34 is a bit high, and maybe he could have stopped Tarantula, but he’s never been like this before. Not even after his parents’ deaths, and that’s a terrifying thought. Was this really the thing that broke him?” ✦ right through my walls by wingdingery, dick & bruce & barbara & jason & alfred, 6.6k      Sure, yes, Bruce and Jason attacked Dick and left him injured—but they were under the effects of fear toxin, so it wasn’t really them. Dick’s gone enough rounds with fear toxin to understand that. He’s perfectly fine with what happened. Now if only the rest of the family would believe him. ✦ gray by iselsis, dick & bruce, 1k      Grief demands to be felt, but Dick doesn’t have to be alone. ✦ How Far Love Goes by BeatriceEagle, bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & barbara, comics violence as child abuse/read the tags, 99.5k      Plenty of family reunions end in fighting. Not that many end in explosions. A mass Arkham breakout brings all of Bruce’s children home, and with them, all the drama, secrets, and anger they’ve been keeping for years. Amidst rising tensions and a mysterious new threat in Gotham, the family has to work together to round up the rogues—and confront their feelings about each other. BATFAM FIC RECS - THROW BABY DICK AT BATTISON, C'MON DO IT, IT’LL BE HILARIOUS: ✦ romanticize a quiet life by lwbones123, dick & bruce & alfred, 3.7k      it’s parent teacher conference day for battinson and his robin ✦ when i call you come home by lwbones123, dick & bruce & alfred & jim, 3.2k      ummm battinson and his robin and angst and hurt/comfort idk how to summarize this one so you just have to trust me ✦ Dark by Cant_Smoke_Eggs, dick & bruce & alfred, 1.9k      aka Baby Dickie thinks Bruce is a Vampire. Bruce thinks he’s figured out he’s Batman. Misunderstandings and Identity reveals ensue. ✦ Just Two Dads Having a Chat by red_jaebyrd, dick & bruce & clark & kon, 1.5k      “I’m not giving you an interview, Kent.” “You always say that, and I always tell you that I’m not here for an interview,” Kent laughed, not at all bothered by Bruce’s aloofness. “We’re just two dads at soccer practice having a chat.” ✦ I Don’t Think Like I Should by shipNslash, jim & barbara & dick & bruce & cast, 13.2k      Featuring unmasking vigilantes as a father-daughter bonding activity, awkward small talk between two dads (both at crime scenes and PTA meetings), and Babs and Dick’s natural progression from classmates to besties in the name of chaos. This is a direct sequel to I’m a Good Pretender but can be read as a stand alone.

Upon request, today we have a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis and Harry get married and have a wedding in the fic. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) The Nuptial Blessing | Explicit | 3,576 words

The sweet smell of strawberries and cinnamon engulfed the entire room. He held his breath as Louis walked down the aisle to the altar. His omega looked like a walking angel- an ethereal beauty not belonging to this world, yet he was for Harry to ravage tonight.

2) I Fell For You Like A Star Falls From The Skies | Not Rated | 6,433 words

Note: This fic is the fifth part in a series but can be read alone.

Love isn't instant. you don't lock eyes and know that you want to be with someone forever, life just doesn't work that way. But the love that Louis and Harry have for each other comes pretty damn close. Wedding bells are ringing for your favorite couple, and dammit are they ready to be Mr. and Mr. Styles.

3) Please, Don’t Say You Want Me | Teen & Up | 9,320 words

Prompt 496: ABO/royalty AU. Where Omega Prince Louis is forced to marry alpha King Harry by his father for the benefit of their kingdom. After the wedding, Harry lets Louis know that he didn’t want a mate and to not expect a relationship from him. Since they are already mated, Harry has to officially reject Louis’s omega to break ties. This practice is so taboo that he doesn’t know the omega has a maximum of a year left to live after rejection. As time goes on, the omega gets weaker and weaker.

4) Won't See It Coming Til It's Already Gone | Explicit | 12,631 words

“Tell me that this is a fake,” Peter says, slapping a handful of papers against Louis’ chest. He says something else, something loud and demanding, barely even pausing for a breath, but Louis doesn’t hear it. All he hears is the sound of his own breathing, the sound of his own heartbeat. Because this - this looks like a marriage certificate. For a minute, everything stills, quiets. Louis drags his eyes up, meets Harry’s gaze, fixed on him. Then the noise is back, shouting voices clamoring to be heard over each other, and Harry is still staring at him. The ring that Louis hadn’t been able to stop noticing in the loo weighs heavily on his hand. His left hand.

5) Falling Down For You | Explicit | 14,750 words

If there was an alpha that Louis wanted to call his, it would be Harry. But what happens when an arranged marriage, a hungry press, and doubts get in the way?

6) Dreams Can't Take The Place Of Loving You | Explicit | 15,496 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

In which Liam is the go-to ring guy, Niall's relentless, Zayn is family, and Harry and Louis are disgusting.

7) Life Won't Wait | Explicit | 20,327 words

Note: This fic is the third part in a series, so we'd read the other two fics first.

It’s not until the third attempt goes terribly, horribly wrong that Harry realizes Louis is doing it on purpose. All he can do is sit back in his chair, narrow his eyes, and watch as Louis pats the waiter on the back pseudo-helpfully, pretending like he’s actually doing something that makes up for the fact that he just deliberately tripped a waiter at one of the poshest restaurants in London and caused pasta to be spilled all over the place better. Like a pat on the back could make all of that better. Ten minutes later, they exit the restaurant with absolutely no grace. Harry lets Louis tug him along, shielding him from the worst of the paps, but he doesn’t let up on the glare he’s got going on, directed at Louis’ back. The gossip rags will all be screaming with headlines about how they’ve finally broken up for good, but it doesn’t matter right now.

8) Thawing Permafrost | Explicit | 22,556 words

Louis is from the frozen mountains of Glacien. Harry is from the searing desert of Calidius. They come from opposite worlds, but all it takes is an arranged marriage to bring them together as one.

9) Swept Me Off My Feet (Took My Heart And Took Me Down) | Explicit | 25,447 words

When Louis had decided to reopen his mother's bakery, he never thought a charming alpha would walk in through the door, let alone fall in love with him over tea, dessert and music.

10) You Are My Familiar | Explicit | 27,088 words

Louis loses his dog, and Harry takes in a stray. A whole year passes before they realize that it’s the same dog, and that kind of complicates things.

11) Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark | Mature | 30,830 words

Jane Austen’s Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis’ family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

12) The List | Mature | 32,094 words

'In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.'

13) If I Loved You Less | Explicit | 36,139 words

Beautiful omega Louis Tomlinson is set to make his come out in London society and determined to find a mate in his first Season. With the help and protection of his oldest friend, Lord Niall Mendes, he takes Society by storm. Being a wealthy and titled alpha means Lord Harry Styles has grown used to avoiding unmated omegas…until now. This Season he finds himself at every Society event just for a chance to speak with the omega with the flashing blue eyes. Louis has the aristocracy at his feet and all the suitors he could hope for, but his secrets may ruin his chance at a love match.

14) Show Me Life Like I've Never Seen | Mature | 42,948 words

Louis never expected to leave the small art studio three blocks down from his job with anything besides the painting he caught a glimpse of and simply couldn't forget.

15) What A Wicked Thing To Do (To Make Me Dream Of You) | Explicit | 44,444 words

Heirs Louis and Harry have been promised as mates to each other their whole lives. It’s expected that they will be the perfect pair to bring honor to their families. Louis cannot let that happen.

16) Tastes Like Summer, Smiles Like May | Explicit | 47,519 words

A cold prince, an alpha with nothing left to lose and a kingdom with a secret.

17) Lunar Waltz | Explicit | 56,795 words

Louis has to replace his (missing) twin brother and marry one of the most dangerous alphas of the kingdom.

18) Every Story Has Its Scars, Ours Is a Brand New Start | Mature | 62,865 words

Life as a devoted husband and an amazing father turned out to be a little different than Louis had expected. Everyone tells him it doesn't have to be that way; that he's worth more and that he's so much stronger than any one person trying to keep him down. It's all just words though until he meets the one person who makes him truly believe it.

19) I’ve Got You | Explicit | 62,988 words

As a reward for saving the king’s life, Harry is offered omega Prince Louis’ hand in marriage. Neither of them has any interest in the union going forward, and so they concoct a plan to prove to the king that they are far from a perfect match.

20) Mead Of Poetry | Explicit | 65,053 words

Under the pressure of continuing the Styles viscountcy line now that he is getting older, Harry sets himself three rules to finally settle down and marry: firstly, the omega needs to be reasonably attractive, secondly, they must be of great mind, thirdly, they cannot be anyone he would ever fall in love with. Enters Charlotte Tomlinson, the diamond of the first water of the upcoming season and seemingly the perfect candidate to the viscount’s plan, but her omega brother, Louis, is in Harry’s way. Louis only seeks to protect his sister and he sure is not going to let a rake play with her heart.

21) Now I'm Begging for Footnotes in the Story of Your Life | Explicit | 80,742 words

Harry and Louis are engaged, but a few months before the wedding Louis realises that they don't like each other, so instead of ending the engagement two of them go head-to-head in an all out prank war. In the battle of who will end the engagement first.

22) Billow And Breeze (Islands And Seas) | Explicit | 102,506 words

It was bright; that was the first thing Louis could recall. With a groan, he winced at the throbbing behind the sockets of his eyes and rubbed his temples in an effort to soothe the pain. Maybe he really did hit his head when he took his tumble. The omega squinted as he looked at the surrounding rolling hills and fog hanging over the countryside. As strange as it was, the world felt different, though it looked practically the same. Disoriented and confused, Louis padded through the moss and listened for his husband. “Liam?” he croaked shakily. Nothing but a symphony of woodland creatures met his ears. His footsteps were muted by mossy green grass beneath his feet and soil fragrant as he neared the crest of the hill. At the top, he froze, lips parted in horror and eyes widening at the expanse of empty farmland—not a soul in sight. It had only been less than ten minutes prior that he could see Inverness from the crest, but now there was nothing. “Impossible,” he whispered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief—his mind not quite able to make sense of it.

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dating RE2R!Leon Kennedy... and what Taylor Swift songs it would be like

pairings: Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader

warnings: just your typical canon violence mentioned, Leon's trauma is discussed.

requested?: nope!

word count: 2343

a/n: guys i'm sorry for being gone for so long! i said i was gonna post this on sunday but i have commitment issues. so yeah this is my take on Leon Kennedy. specifically RE2R!Leon. i want to do all eras (if you will) of Leon but i'm nervous that i'm gonna like...BUTCHER his character. so sorry if he's out of character or anything! also this is a long one so buckle up.

also if you're new to my blog then these are headcanons mixed with Taylor Swift inspired blurb type of thing at the end.

okay being honest y'all

dating Leon before and after Raccoon City are way two different experiences (because duh trauma and all that good shit)

so let's start with before Raccoon City

a common thing I see is that he's like a puppy dog which ok yeah

but I'd like to put my own spin on him ok?

anyway

even before Raccoon City, Leon is definitely traumatized from his family yknow…

being brutally murdered

which makes him hesitant to get into a relationship

but when he first meets you, he’s already absolutely smitten

I picture Leon to be a very awkward yet sweet lover

like sure he's had partners before you but I think you'd be the first person he sees a realistic future with

he doesn’t want to ruin anything with you

he may be a 21 year old man

but romance and being in love makes him feel/act like a blushing high school girl

what can he say? he's a hopeless romantic

he's the type to remember small anniversaries at the beginning of y'all dating

and makes somewhat of a big deal out of them

"happy 4 months babe! I got us dinner reservations at (your favorite restaurant) :)"

oh yeah he loves to use pet names

babe and honey are the names he uses the most

chivalry isn't dead when it comes to Leon

always holding doors for you

getting you "just because" flowers

definitely is the type of guy to wait for you to tie your shoe while everyone else is walking ahead

his love language receiving is physical touch and giving love language is words of affirmation

knows you can stand up for yourself but won't hesitate to put someone in their place for you

taking things super slow because he doesn't want to rush into things

didn't actually kiss you until the fifth date

and he asked for permission of course

holds your hand every time you guys go out together

his favorite types of dates would be walks through the park and picnics

it's cheesy sure but classic and he loves to hear you talk

also loves to make you laugh

one of his favorite sounds to exist

has tried to cook a romantic dinner for you once

but got distracted by how beautiful you are and almost burnt the place down

yes he almost died from embarrassment but eating take out and cuddling with you was worth it

mans is such a supportive boyfriend and your #1 fan

he loves to imagine your guys’ future together

when he gets into the police academy he's a bit worried about the relationship

but when he sees your eyes light up and the way you squeeze him once he tells you the news

he wants to laugh at himself for having doubts in the first place

dating while he was in the academy was tough but y'all made it work

was shocked when you agreed to come with him to Raccoon City

but happy nonetheless

wow! everything he's ever dreamed of is coming true

your guys relationship is stronger than ever and you both are on the path to success

what could go wrong??

...Raccoon City is what could go wrong.

so your relationship after the events of Raccoon City is... different

you weren't there with him during that unfortunate night in Raccoon City

he thanks God or whatever higher being for that

truthfully you were one of the things that got him through that fateful night

whenever it felt hopeless, he thought about your smile and the way your eyes crinkle when you do

that kept him going throughout the horrors he saw

also just the fact that he wanted to tell you “I love you” one last time

trying not to throw up when you hear about Raccoon City

not being able to get ahold of Leon was one of the worse things you'd ever been through

finally getting a hold of him and the both of you sobbing into the phone

"I thought you were gone and I was going to be alone-" "I would never leave you. Never in a million years."

when you finally see him, you give him a long hug

you were careful about touching his shoulder of course

he's not exactly the Leon you knew before

the light that used to sparkle in his eyes had been put out

but he still looks at you like you hung the moon in the sky

being there by his side during nightmares and calming him down

helping take care of his shoulder wound for a while

studying up on PTSD to understand him better

squeezing his hand when he gets that faraway look in his eyes

patience and understanding becoming your best friends

doesn't open up right away with what happened in Raccoon City

if/when he does, it's a loooong night of him slowly opening up and talking about it

and you of course listening

holding him and being gentle with him when he eventually breaks down

sometimes he lashes out at you when he's in that headspace

but he immediately apologizes after and that brings him out of it

constantly reassuring him about things

the date nights y'all have now consists of ordering take out and cuddling on the couch

binge watching cheesy sitcom series becomes another way of spending time together

it’s a way of trying to hold onto the sliver of normalcy between you two

he feels bad about not being ready to go out in the world yet but again you reassure him it's okay

embarrassed that you take care of him because he thinks it should be the other way around

he was already protective of you before Raccoon City

but he becomes even more protective after

mans is like a guard dog okay?

he's not trying to be overbearing, he just wants to know where you're going out to incase something happens

reminiscing on his favorite memories with you before everything happened

having you by his side helps ground him when he feels a panic attack coming on

communication becomes more important than ever (even if it's the hardest thing he can do sometimes)

him thinking you deserve better than him

yet being so in love with you that the thought of losing you makes him physically ill

makes sure to tell you that he loves you at least once a day because that’s all he could think about during Raccoon City

no he doesn't tell you about how the government threatened yours and Sherry's lives if he didn't join

that isn’t your burden to shoulder

he tries to do his best with keeping certain details from you

mostly because it makes him sick to think about and he doesn’t want you to worry more

you're the last thing he has from his life before Raccoon City

he wouldn't dare dream of letting you go

can't imagine his life without you

Okay so this was a bit tricky for me! I personally think that Fearless (from Fearless (Taylor’s Version)) and The Great War (from Midnights) fit RE2R!Leon the best. For those who aren’t familiar with Taylor’s music, Fearless is about the start of a relationship and the fearlessness of falling in love. I think that it’s a happy and upbeat love song and perfectly fits RE2R!Leon before Raccoon City. The Great War is about a couple having a rough patch in their relationship, but promising each other they’ll stick together throughout it. Which if that doesn’t scream post Raccoon City Leon then I don’t know what does.

…

Leon may have physically survived that devastating night in Raccoon City, but mentally, huge pieces of who he was had died. No longer was he that bright eyed rookie ready to help change the world. Now he was an ex cop who got an unwanted promotion that only reminded him of the horrors he witnessed.

Hopelessness was something that hung in the back of his mind every day. His smile didn’t reach his eyes anymore. It had only been two months, but he was still constantly on his guard. Even when he attempted to get some sleep, he couldn’t allow himself to relax. Nightmares of what happened in Raccoon City had constantly plagued his dreams. Sometimes he swore he could hear that monster’s loud footsteps down the hallway in the shared apartment.

One of the only things that seemed to keep him pushing through the dark was his partner. Being around you helped calm his racing mind. You were like a warm blanket in the cold darkness his mind had been in the past month. No matter what, your hand was the thing he had constantly been reaching out for.

Small things would trigger unpleasant flashbacks which made his stomach turn. A week ago you had accidentally dropped a pan you were reaching for, and the loud bang sounded too much like a gunshot for comfort. One moment he was in his apartment and the next he was back in Raccoon City. He could smell the rotting flesh and hear the groans of the undead. His breathing had quickened, and he immediately got ready to defend himself from monsters that Guilt ate at you as you attempted to calm him down.

"Leon honey, it's okay. You're at home with me. You’re having a flashback." Your honey coated voice reminded him. This wasn’t the first time he had an episode and it wouldn’t be the last. After a few minutes of reminding him to describe his surroundings and breath, you finally managed to coax him out of that state of mind. It had become second nature for you to remind him that nothing from Raccoon City could get to him anymore. When he finally was able to calm down, he immediately reached for you. Tears had brimmed his eyes and seeing that broken look on his face crushed your heart. Why must good people like him go through the worst things?

The worse thing for Leon is when he would unintentionally lash out at you. He couldn't stop the venomous words that accidentally left his mouth. Punishing for things you never did left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Jesus Christ, just leave me alone for a moment!" He'd snapped the other day when it had been particularly hard to get out of bed. You had been asking him questions about how he was feeling, and if he needed anything. Just being a caring partner. God the look of hurt that had flashed upon your face was one he could never forget. Apologies had never escaped from him faster than that moment. It was like putting Band-Aids over bullet holes (no pun intended) and he knew that these outbursts of his weren’t fair to you.

You were an angel sent down from heaven, this was something he was sure of. Why did he have to keep flying off the handle over the smallest things? Realistically he knew that you were only human and made mistakes. He knew you were just trying to take care of him. Dark circles had begun to form under your eyes from the lack of sleep you had been getting. That was because of him and his night terrors. His heart ached for you, and he had never hated himself more for that.

Leon was so caught up in his thoughts about you and everything that he hadn’t noticed you enter the small living room. The first thing you had noticed was that faraway look in his eyes. You had called out his name before making your way to sit by him on the leather couch. Hearing your voice made him come back to earth, and his thoughts grew quiet once he saw you.

“Hey love. You alright?” Your voice was gentle as you reached for his hand. He hadn’t hesitated to grab it. Of course you knew he wasn’t okay. Leon usually wore his heart on his sleeve. Your thumb gingerly rubbed his knuckles as you waited for his response. Leon was hesitant to tell you everything he had been thinking. After an internal debate, he figured it’s the least he could do as your boyfriend.

“I’m…sorry for snapping at you the past couple of months.” He finally responded after a moment. You furrowed your eyebrows in response. As much as you had appreciated his apology, it felt like it came out of nowhere. What the hell had triggered this?

“I’m sorry about being the reason you haven’t slept well, and just sorry in general. You deserve better than me.” Words were overflowing from his mouth before he could stop it. He squeezed your hand as he continued. “I don’t know why I’ve been so… awful towards you and there’s just-“

“Leon stop.” You interrupted him. For a moment he seemed like his old self as he looked at her with those puppy dog eyes of his. “Look, I appreciate your apology. But you also just went through a traumatic experience. You’re not gonna just bounce back.”

Scooting closer, you wrapped your arms around his waist. Your head rested on his chest and you could hear his heartbeat. It was a soothing sound, reminding you that your boyfriend was alive and here in your arms. His arms fell into place on your back.

“I don’t care if you think I “deserve better”. You’re what I want, no matter what. I will always be yours.” Pulling yourself back, you cupped his cheeks into your hands. Hearing you vow your love to him like that made his heart flutter. Leaning forward, you planted a soft yet tender kiss on his lips.

Yes, Leon knew that there was no way in hell you guys could return back to the way your relationship was before. He wasn’t the same person as before, but he was slowly realizing you weren’t the same person either. In this moment with you, he knew you guys would survive this war zone inside his head.

He would make sure of it.

hello! i’m relatively new to your blog but i stumbled across your muichiro and hasira mentor!reader and i fell in love (has been a brainrot of mine for a couple weeks now), i was wondering if you could write a scenario about muichiro getting back from one of his first solo missions and the reader just doting over him and helping him clean up minor wounds, despite knowing he’s capable of doing it himself. (i loved the way your characterized the two in your previous writings <3) thank you! hope you have a lovely day!

the first solo mission's aftermath.

summary. muichiro's first solo mission would be a tough time for both him and his mentor, but when he returns, they are there to dote endlessly on him.

trigger & content warnings. self-doubt, depictions of minor injury.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, comfort. muichiro tokito & hashira mentor!reader. 0.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. this post is an expansion of out of all the clouds in the sky, you are my favorite. hello dear!! welcome to my blog, i hope to see you again in my ask box at some point <3 mui requests are always welcomed. hes my beloved son frfr. thank you so so much, any compliments about how i characterize canon characters are very much appreciated! thats one of the highest forms of praise i could get as a writer. it means a lot when people tell me they like the way i write certain characters, so i really do appreciate it!

tbh i think [name] would cry when seeing him off for the first time.

they would try to hold it together solely for muichiro's peace of mind, offering him a shaky smile and, in a trembling voice, wishing him well as he departs from their mansion.

there's no way seeing one's tsuguko off is an easy experience. each hashira surely has to wonder if their respective student will return or not, if they have taught their student well enough, if their first mission will be easy or go terribly wrong.

there's just... so, so many things that could go wrong.

while mui is gone, i think the cloud hashira would sit and nitpick everything they taught him. they'd worry that it wasn't enough. they know he is impossibly strong for his age, but...

strength does not inherently equal experience. a demon slayer can have all the biological advantages that they want, but if they don't have adequate experience, all that strength will mean absolutely nothing.

meanwhile, mui feels a distinct sense of discomfort and unrest after he leaves.

something about leaving doesn't sit well with him. he doesn't want to leave. he wants to go back, or he wants them to come along.

(he does not understand why at the time, but a few years later, he'll begin to understand that he simply didn't want to leave them on the brink of tears like that.)

in the end, though, muichiro returns after only a few days in one piece, completely unharmed except for a few minor scratches.

his face might not change when his beloved mentor immediately brings him into a tight embrace, but the way his body relaxes into their arms is telling enough.

"welcome back, tokito-kun," they'd whisper, cheek pressed to the top of his head.

"...i'm home, [surname]-sama."

home... the implications of that statement would make their heart burst. indeed, he is home if he's with his mentor. if he's with them. they squeeze him just a little tighter after that.

"[surname]-sama, i can't breathe."

"ah?! i'm sorry! sorry, i didn't mean it!"

mui honestly would just let them dote on him.

they'd gently brush his hair and pull it back into a braid, sending a distinct feeling of nostalgia through his foggy mind.

they'd clean his wounds, opting to take him to the butterfly estate if anything seemed wrong or infected.

they'd just dote on him.

he does enjoy the attention and he realizes that it helps them feel better, so... he just lets them do whatever they feel is necessary.

the attention is really comforting for him, though. he's so young. he shouldn't be fighting demons at this age, and yet, he is. [name] knows this.

to make up for it, they spoil him in all the attention someone so young would need to grow properly.

"So... how did your mission go? I suppose it must have gone rather well," they mused with a gentle smile, gingerly flushing a small yet somewhat deep scratch on his cheek with a saline solution that they'd borrowed from those at the Butterfly Estate. "You're hardly hurt."

"Yes. It went fine," he confirmed in a murmur, doing his best not to move in order not to disrupt their work. "...I thought I was fast enough."

"Hm?"

"I thought I was fast enough to avoid being scratched."

"You did your best," they chuckled, securing a small patch over the scratch to keep any bacteria out, "and believe me, this is nothing. The kinds of injuries you can get in this line of work... this is nothing, really. It's fine. Just make sure it doesn't get infected."

Backing away from his face, they looked over their work before nodding firmly. "Alright. I'm done."

Slowly, the boy raised a hand to his cheek, fingertips ghosting over the freshly-dressed wound. Some kind of foreign warmth spread through his chest. He shifted in place, timidly avoiding their eyes. "...Thank you."

"Hehe. Of course." Not a single thing got past them, it seemed. They brought no attention to his sudden embarrassment, however. "Anyways, are you hungry? Kanroji-san invited us to come out with her to this place a few towns over. I hear they're really good."

He simply listened to them ramble, nodding along absentmindedly when they asked for his input.

He liked their voice.

It was comforting.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

i know i probably sound deranged but . hear me out . charlos pacific rim au . so … jaegar engineer carlos, who was dragged into becoming a pilot even though he could just strategise & build as the brightest to come out of there in years ( even though there’s nico & daniil & mitch & he can only drive himself mad watching them fall from the sky, crash into the water in graves that he designed, scribbles on notes & plans scattered across the table & grief scrawled into the margins of yet another design ).

but the higher–ups are looking for anyone & everyone — & he winds up being drift compatible with lando ( except it’s not the first person he’s compatible with, having paired with redbull’s starboy max years ago & broken their link himself at the last possible minute to avoid being forced into the field, knows how fragile these things are ), made to don an orange uniform & convince everyone that it’s fine, that their meagre efforts are going to stave off the end of the world sooner rather than later. & that’s easy-going & nice, but it’s a stop-gap all the same ( he knows they want someone better, the mclaren unit has a bone to pick & determination to prove they are still the best at this, that they want someone proven to kill & take down kaiju & get the job done in a way he’s only slowly, unbalancedly & fumbling through, figuring out how to ). & though they have great success, he’s also terrified about why it feels so deliberate, why everything feels like such a process, why they say you can’t hide anything in the drift & yet lando has not seen half the things that haunt him in his sleep.

on the other side of the world, there’s ferrari’s star pilot, charles, fresh off a partnership that had initially gone so well but ended so badly that even though they were trying their absolute best, sent their jaeger out of control & into the sea & seb with a patchwork of scars to some strategy related posting in sydney ( pardon the implied sebmark, i had to ) & him to fend off the cameras & questions about what’s wrong with the unit again. & there’s so much speculation, so many people wondering who will work wth charles — he can barely breathe ( not that he ever really could, because to don the colours he does also means some commitment to the bit, to burning til the very end ), runs the tests mechanically, as they put one person after another in front of him & everything comes up empty & he’s pleading every day to just let him solo pilot even though it’ll probably get him killed ( he just wants to go out, to prove himself & keep their shatterdome from falling apart, no matter how impossible it seems ) — but they’re so desperate that they’re testing other pilots, even the ones who are already drifting with someone else, because they can pull those pairings apart in a moment if they needed it somewhere else. thing is, he doesn’t really remember much about the first time they sparred — dark eyes and bracing against an immovable object and some dim recognition that oh is this lando’s co-pilot, moving back and forth like some sort of ebb and flow just like the surface of the ocean he’d slammed into all those months ago — or about the first time they’d attempted to drift in the simulation — blurs of colours and images and something weightless and effortless, opening his eyes and wondering why his mouth tastes like salt, like sea, like tears & the faintest hint of guilt and it feels like all the air’s been sucked clean from his lungs. ( congratulations, you’re compatible. congratulations, hope you hang in there longer & come out of it in fewer pieces than all the ones before you did. )

there is only so much space in this shatterdome. there is only so much space in your mind. & even though it goes so well, carlos a perfect co-pilot & the two of them are completing mission after mission successfully — it feels like they’ve never been able to fully close the space between the pons systems separating themselves when they drift, because after that first time, it was like everything vanished & drifting was only ever something smooth & easy. ( as though charles is very much rooted here, in this moment, and somehow carlos is reading the signal flares from a thousand miles away, and it drives him mad in the process, how someone so outwardly warm & emotional could feel so cold & always armed with a perfect distance in his mind. ) but the first advice they give to any pilot is to never chase the rabbit, to seek the memories & people in others’ minds ( to look into file after file and find them curiously blank and empty, trying to contact people long dead & gone ) — it’s advice that, in the end, charles doesn’t heed. ( i am rambling so much bc rip the meds & idk if this makes any sense but !! idk just want angsty charlos, fluorescent lights & the warmth of another person at the end of the world & just . learning to Understand™️ & be okay with being Perceived™️, that you could fall into the water together & feel like you're never coming up for air & still live, somehow )

first of all, i can’t tell you how excited i was when i got this. thank you so much for sharing your ideas.

“& grief scrawled into the margins of yet another design” FUCKED ME UP. engineer carlos getting used to the feeling that to create a machine is to get ready to grief. i would like to imagine a daniil that can’t pilot anymore because of a major injury and carlos writing to him every chance he has just because he feels like he owns that. he was the one that built the jaegar that daniil was in. maybe if he has changed this, or done that, or was just a little better here—

i love how you paired lando and carlos. imagining a very young and eager lando who grew up admiring pilots and dreaming of his own jaegar and taking down his first kaiju, and on the other side carlos, who didn’t want to be there, who was not supposed to be there, but it’s hard to find good pilots and the investments are getting scarce. so, as you said, they need to get help anywhere they can. “ yet lando has not seen half the things that haunt him in his sleep” YES. lando being to excited and so young that carlos is there mostly to help and guide him rather than create a real connection. lando doesn’t stop to Look at carlos’ mind.

“charles, fresh off a partnership that had initially gone so well but ended so badly” ooooh how i would pay bucks to see this written. i would die to see this. this would be amazing. your whole idea. your whole concept. everything is top notch. also, do not apologize for the implied sebmark. i love the implied sebmark. give me more. “not that he ever really could, because to don the colours he does also means some commitment to the bit, to burning til the very end” here, as soon as i read it, i had to stop and walk around the room. charles is a sacrificial lamb to ferrari in every universe. wearing rosso corsa as if it is blood on his hands. charles not feeling anything. mechanical. work. proving himself. red, red, red. then, sea. then salt. then other colors. then brown eyes. then something else. then another’s feelings in his chest. everything is so fast and then it just stops. just for a moment. then is fast again. i love how you described it, their first ride together, the way it’s nothing magical at the same time it is. it’s very mundane and routine like until it’s not.

i feel like charles has the knife here, he has the power to seek the rabbit, he has the upper hand, he has the power to use the knife to hurt carlos or to hand the knife for carlos to fend himself out of his little cave. but he can’t do anything with his knife. because carlos needs to let him in. and carlos can’t do that. carlos has lost too much, has too many names he carries as a reminder of his failure and he has read charles leclerc file, he knows about his dad, about the pilot that was his mentor, about sebastian, he can’t be another tale mark in the count of grief this boy has to carry.

and charles is having none of that. i don’t think it would be because he cares for carlos, at the begging, but mostly because he thinks that to be a better pilot to be the best one out there the biggest better jaegar and to take down kaijus, they need to know everything about each other: this was a problem with sebastian, he was too far away from charles, always keeping him on the brim. he won’t let it repeat again. he keeps pushing and pushing and pushing just to get to know Something. he needs to know. all while, forgetting that if carlos lets him in, charles will also be open. i don’t think charles would be realizing that until is too late. until he learns that to see someone bare open, with their chest exposed, is to also be vulnerable. the knife cuts both ways. you and i are one tear, one flesh and blood, one painful memory of the world, shared, like a grave. your heart beat in my ribs and mine in yours. intimacy in visceral violence but intimacy is sewing each other up after. to be perceived hurts, at first. you are forced to look at something you would rather hide. but then you are seen. it create a bond that transcends all other types of love, thus acting as the sole point of understanding for the other person in a world that cannot fathom what they’ve been through. you are in a room full of people and you feel like falling down. there’s a arm around you, supporting you, keeping you away from all the eyes, as you do so.

“that you could fall into the water together & feel like you're never coming up for air & still live, somehow” yeah. i need to sit down. this is— just. amazing. thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing this.

Thoughts on Astarion and why he's the most compelling character in BG3 to me right now

I've been posting a lot about this boy recently, mostly just about finding him hilarious and adorable but I do genuinely love his character and find him extremely interesting.

The defining thing about his story, especially when comparing it to Wyll or Gale, is just how LONG he has been suffering. Wyll has essentially just realized how tricked he's been and is fuming, Gale is still in denial that he's done anything wrong except for failing at his goal to return the trapped magic. Astarion has been a puppet for an evil vampire lord who tortured him and forced him to lure probably hundreds of people to their deaths for TWO HUNDRED YEARS.

He's past the initial anger. Past the denial. He's gone through every kind of grief a dozen times over until he came around to a terrible, cold acceptance. And to having to see the "funny side" of it. The cruel, twisted humor in everything. For instance, he seems, in some way, truly sorry for Mayrina and her husband's fate, but also finds it funny. He mentions he wishes Mayrina could at least see the "funny side of it". It seems that crucial to his ability to accept the things he's done and have been done to him.

I saw a comment earlier that said they felt Astarion is just "needlessly evil" but honestly I see very clear cut motivations in all of his approval choices. Fear for his life. Fear of being controlled. And finding joy, however twisted, in the horrible things that have befallen him and others.

I honestly think one of the best scenes in exploring his character is the goblin party after siding with the goblins in the grove battle, which is likely a much more rare scene since the game pushes you pretty hard towards helping the teiflings. If you side with the teiflings, he spends the party being boisterous and whiny. He complains loudly about the lack of reward, but seems to be mostly just blowing smoke, enjoying complaining. He'll joke around with you and, while making a fuss about it, does seem to enjoying himself to some extent, even if it's just enjoying the fuss he's making. And he raises a good point. If you tell him "just think of the lives we saved" he'll raise the question: did you really "save" anyone? You killed as many goblins in the camp as there were teiflings in the grove. Goblins who were manipulated and controlled by the cult of the Absolute. At the end of the day, you decided that some lives were worth the loss of others. Whether or not you made the "right" decision is up to your interpretation. It gives a glimpse into the way he's come to rationalize the things he's had to do under Cazador's command.

At the goblin party, he's much more subdued. I saw a video saying he was clearly "having a great time" but I don't see it that way at all. His jokes are dry and dark. His words soft. The way we only really see him in scenes where he feels vulnerable, emotionally. His usual flamboyant nature dulled. If you express regret over what you did, he tells you "You did what you had to. Don't be ashamed you did it well." You can really tell how that's a motto he's had to cling to himself. He's not wracked with guilt the way the others like Gale and Shadowheart are, but you can see exactly why. Not because he wanted this, but because he's completely internalized the idea that one can't get what they want. They can only take it. And accept everything else as inevitable. Right and wrong stopped meaning anything to him a long long time ago. There's just life. Survival. And whatever it takes to keep on going.

Everything Astarion does is, in some way, about protecting himself. His blades protect his body. His harsh words and lies protect his secrets. His humor protects his mind. Which is why each of his important character cutscenes have been about having to lower his guard. To trust you with all three of those things.

I'm very interested in seeing what will happen when he truly is faced with the decision to protect himself or to protect those he cares about. I think that will be the defining moment for him and will vary wildly depending on if you've managed to get him to lower his defenses around you and learn to trust.

Use your words.

Summary: After a day, your in desperate need of Eddie. But the problem is you have to say it.

Content warnings: Explicit sexual content (i mean it, 18+, minors stay the fuck away from this shit.) Dom/sub, (soft) Dom Eddie Munson, Needy!reader, Oral fixation, Hand and finger kink, praise kink, Daddy kink, oral sex, Fingering, penetrative sex, overstimulation, squirting, aftercare, Dom Nancy Wheeler, Sub Robin Buckley, vibrators, slight exhibitionism, safeword use (yellow).

A/N: This is hands down the smuttiest thing I´ve ever written, so consider this your warning. The plot focuses mainly on Eddie x reader, but Ronance is there as a subplot. 

*Fic is also posted on Ao3*

Work had been an absolute hell today. Everything that could have gone wrong actually had, and somehow it was all both your fault and your problem to fix. To say that you were in a pissy mood was an understatement. Not only was it because of the work stress, but on top of it, you were days away from your period which made you stupidly, embarrassingly horny. All you had thought about during your shitty day was Eddie. Thoughts equally comforting and steamy. In your car, close to home you couldn’t wait to crash into his arms.

Opening the door you heard a hair dryer blowing and Eddie humming slightly. “Hi Baby! I’m in the bathroom, almost ready,” Eddie called out when he heard you close the door. That was when you realised that the breakdown, cuddles, and steamy sex that you had been hoping for had to wait. Because you had guests coming over, in less than an hour. Now you loved your friends dearly but it couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time. ”Mhm” you just hummed in response before heading to your shared bedroom. “Fuck “ you muttered, digging through your closet trying to find something to wear. Nothing seemed right. In reality, you wanted to tear your bra off and put on one of Eddie’s shirts. The choice later landed on a smocked top and a skirt that reached your mid-thigh. You messed about with your hair and makeup in the mirror. The hair could use a wash, but time was pressed and the can of dry shampoo would have to do.

“ There's my baby, don’t you look gorgeous! '' Eddie said as you came out of the bedroom. He was chopping vegetables for a salad but stopped to look up at you. His words made you so needy for him. You wanted to just throw yourself towards him, but something inside you made you feel like you couldn’t. You didn’t have time to unload all the shit from the day that you had.

Now Eddie had told you countless times, how important it was for you to communicate what you wanted, what you needed from him. He also reassured you that no matter what the request was he would try his best to make it happen. You knew deep down that you could get what you so desperately craved if you only looked into those deep adoring eyes of his and said: “I need you. I need you so badly. Because my day has been shit, my clit is throbbing and I need you to be not an inch away from me. I need you to fuck me so far into subspace that the only word I can pronounce is your name, please I need you.” The only problem was that no matter how much Eddie coaxed and encouraged you, you were simply too embarrassed to express those feelings. Instead, you usually opted for giving whiny little hints, until Eddie told you what you wanted him to do. He was always right on the money, simply because he could read you like a book. But he wanted to hear it from you, always looking at you with this dominating look in his eyes whenever you let out a desperate little whine, the look that instantly made your brain go fuzzy, muttering: “I thought you were my good girl, hrrm? You know that good girls uses their words sweetheart”

Eddie had noticed just by your fidgety body language alone, that something was up. This time though, he was determined to hear it from you. “Is there something that you wanna ask or tell me, baby girl?” He said, standing beside you, tilting your head up with two ringed fingers under your chin. Fuck, he saw right through you. You thought about telling the truth for a second. But decided against it. You knew he had looked forward to this get-together for weeks. So you decided then and there to keep it together, to not slip up and go full on needy girlfriend on him. “No. Nothing special” you said. Trying to avoid eye contact, his eyes on you were making you feel fuzzy and small already. “Baby, look at me,” he commanded softly. You lifted your eyes to meet his, and you couldn’t help but let out a tiny little whine. “If there is something you want from me, then you know what to do right?” He asked seriously. “Yes,” you answered, trying to avoid eye contact in order to keep your composure. The concerned glare he was giving made you weak at the knees. His grip on your chin tightened. “Can you repeat it for me?” He asked, even though it wasn’t much of a question, more so a command. His demeanour made you incredibly needy for him and you wanted nothing more than to beg for him to put the fingers that were holding you in place into your mouth. You truly tried to not betray yourself but you did and let out a small, desperate whimper. “Repeat it for me, sweetheart” he coaxed, tone still serious. “I need to use my words,” you said, voice slightly bratty but still small. You felt your subby side creep up on you minute by minute. Telling you how badly you needed Eddie. But you suppressed it, knowing guests were probably on your doorstep in less than 15 minutes. “Good girl baby,” he said. “But dial down on the tone please.” He kissed you on the forehead and your instincts told you to lean into him, but you caught yourself, and instead, you decided to part with him the minute his lips left your skin. It felt like he left them there longer than usual. Which wasn’t just a feeling, Eddie of course knew what you were trying to do. Most of the time you were a picture-perfect sub, but every once in a while, usually when you wanted to ask Eddie something that you deemed excessive you tried to hold back which in turn triggered a bratty streak. So Eddie pressed his lips lovingly to your forehead to get you to cave, to get you to admit to him that you needed him with all that it meant. But you were stubborn, so he decided to let you have your way. At least for a little while.

Outside, about a block away from your house came another dom with her sub in tow. The two of them were involved in something totally different. “You seem, antsy baby,” Nancy said, grabbing Robin's hand. “Colour?” “I dunno, maybe a little yellow, but mostly green, absolutely mostly green but still a teeny bit yellow I think” Robin started to ramble. Nancy had suggested that they should try the remote control vibrating egg that she had bought the other night. Robin had been totally for it at home, always up for trying things, finding the thought of exhibitionism kind of thrilling. But now, with the turned-off egg resting inside her, shifting onto her g-spot as she walked, she started to let a tiny bit of doubt into her brain. Nancy, who by now was used to Robin’s rambles, placed both of her hands on the sides of her face. She rubbed soothingly with her thumbs across the apples of Robin's cheeks, all whilst holding her in place, giving her time to breathe, making sure she had eye contact with her. “Sweetie, I’m gonna ask you again” she started. “Colour?” Robin took a breath, knowing Nancy wanted her to think before answering. “Yellow” she stated. “Good job for colouring, baby” Nancy praised, placing a kiss on Robin's lips. “What about it makes you feel yellow?” Robin pondered the thought. “What if they hear it? I’m scared that they might judge me” Robin admitted, grabbing Nancy’s hand for reassurance. “I really think that it’s going to be hard to hear,” she said. “Besides, even if they do hear it I don’t believe that Mr and Ms handcuffs-on-the-bedroom-wall are ones to judge. And Steve is a proper dingus, he won’t realise what it is, I promise.” After Nancy’s reassurance Robin felt better, she laughed, both at the mention of the handcuffs they had seen in your bedroom multiple times and at Steve's obliviousness. “Now, how do you feel?” Nancy asked. Robin smiled at her. “I’m green, thank you” “No need to thank me, baby,” Nancy said, squeezing Robin's hand. “Now don’t hesitate to colour out if it gets too much tonight alright?” “I will, I promise,” Robin said. “Remind me again, how do you safeword nonverbally?” Nancy asked, knowing that Robin might be hesitant to colour out if it meant saying something out loud, ultimately outing what they were up to. “I tap you on the wrist, twice for yellow, three times for red” Robin said, proudly recalling the instructions Nancy once had given her. “Good girl” Nancy praised. “Now let’s get this show on the road.” She shoved her hand down her pocket and pressed the first button, setting off the vibrations inside Robin. “Steve is probably waiting for us,” Nancy said, Robin didn’t reply, she was too busy trying to compose herself.

When the first knock on the door came it almost made you jump, it was like the time to admit was up. Deep down you knew that it wasn’t true, you just had to say the word and Eddie would gladly kick them all out to take care of you. But you were stubborn and now you just had to keep it together. “Hi! It's so good to see you again!” You exclaimed, embracing first Robin, then Nancy, and lastly Steve in a hug. Eddie was right behind you, doing the same before passing them all a drink. You eyed the tray of drinks and noticed that one of the glasses had a drink in another shade of pink. You glanced over at the bottles he had poured from and as you suspected he had poured rosè into four of the glasses and nonalcoholic sparkling rhubarb cider into the last one. The action made you huffy. Simply because it was the right decision. Alcohol had the tendency to make you anxious at times, and at the place you were right now, it wasn’t a good idea.

It was the fact that Eddie once again knew what you needed that now slightly pissed you off. Usually, it was your favourite part about your relationship, to finally be able to let go of all pressure and thought and just let Eddie lead and take care of you. But you were hanging on by a thread, trying to not fall into the subspace you desperately craved, so why did he have to make it so goddamn hard to not slip?

You purposely grabbed the glass of rosè and gave Eddie a look. “Thank you, baby,” he said, grabbing the glass from your hand quickly before you could even react. He took a sip from it which made you pout. “I was about to drink that” you stated, huffy, with your arms crossed. “Oh were you now?” Eddie said, faking surprise. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but here, look what I got for you” He handed you the sparkling cider, which you begrudgingly took from him. You were about to turn your back towards him when you felt his hand on your shoulder, turning your back, facing him. “What do we say?” He said. His hand on you and his heavy tone made you want to melt into him. You tried halfhearted to shake his hand off but there wasn’t much you could do. “What?” You said, trying to gain control of yourself by bratting against him. “Don’t bullshit me, sweetheart, you know what I want.” He said. You turned your eyes down. Grumbled a bit, before you muttered; “Thank you” You felt the hand tighten around your shoulder. “Thank you...who?” He questioned and you knew what he wanted you to say. But you couldn’t. “Eddie....” You whined with slight embarrassment in your tone. Your eyes shifted from him to your guests. “Thank you.” Eddie understood your dilemma and decided not to push it, even though he was certain that they weren’t listening to you.

The guests weren’t really bothered by the interaction between you two, Steve and Robin were loudly arguing about which the best movie snack was. The younger of the two having a hard time laying out her arguments as Nancy had her hand in her pocket, switching the vibrator inside of Robin to a pulsating setting. But although Nance was busy she hadn’t missed out on witnessing the interaction between you and Eddie. Nancy could tell, by your huffy behaviour, and Eddie’s stance that he had a bratty sub on his hands tonight.

There had never been a conversation where you had admitted to each other that you shared the dynamics of your relationships. It was more of a quiet understanding type of deal. There had been times when you and Eddie had noticed it, with Nancy and Robin. Like that one time when Robin and Nancy were late, and when they finally arrived, Robin was following Nancy like a lost puppy, seeking her approval constantly, hissing when she sat down. You and Eddie definitely knew about them and they absolutely knew about you.

The only one who didn’t suspect anything was the ever-oblivious Steve Harrington. Who broke the silence between you and Eddie with an; “Hey man, I’m starving, how long until dinner is ready?”

Dinner passed with no issues, you sat next to Eddie, opposite Robin, who seemed unusually squirmy. So much so that Steve called her out on it. “Seriously Robin, find a comfy position and stay there will ya?” He said, mid-sentence as he was trying to tell another story. You saw how Robin's face turned beetroot red and then you saw how she fumbled with her hand trying to find Nancy’s.

Robin felt equal parts embarrassed and turned on, but she needed a break, now that Steve was starting to pick up on her behaviour. She tapped Nancy’s wrist twice and Nancy instantly put her hand in her pocket, pausing the vibrations that were pulsating through Robin's core. Nancy leaned over towards Robin, whilst taking her hand. She placed a loving kiss on her cheek, masking her check-in as some mild PDA. “I hear you, baby, you are doing so well. I’ll leave it off for a while then I’ll check in again okay?” Robin nodded at Nancy’s words. Shifting her chair closer to the dom, wrapping both her arms around Nancy’s. Chin on her shoulder.

You tried to listen to the story Steve was telling but you found your eyes drawn to the interaction between Nancy and Robin. You felt a pang of jealousy as Robin moved closer to Nance. You wanted to do the same to Eddie, you wanted him to hold you so bad. You considered taking his hand. But then you started to think about his hands. His big hands and those guitar-strumming, ringed fingers that made you feel so many things. They made you feel safe and taken care of when they held yours, they made you go absolutely feral when they brushed against your clit, or buried themselves deep inside you, they made you feel fuzzy and calm when they rested inside your mouth. You hadn’t even noticed how antsy you became of only the thought, not until one of the hands you had thought about came to rest on your bouncing knee, grounding you. You felt a familiar tingle between your legs and cursed yourself for reacting so quickly to him. You felt your brain cloud up with a need for him, and for the first time that night, you caved for the subby part of your brain. You took his hand, and he immediately wrapped your hand up in his.

For Eddie this felt like a win, ultimately he wanted to throw out the guests and tend to your needs, but in this in-between stage, where the only one holding you back was yourself, he could only keep an eye out and coax you into it at the right moment. (which proved to be hard when you kept the facade up way harder now when it wasn’t just you and him.)

You fiddled a bit with his rings, relaxing into the feeling of his steady hand. Suddenly though Steve suggested that he’d help Eddie clear the plates off the table and Eddie placed a quick peck to the back of your hand, before leaving it in your lap raising from his chair. A whine emerged from the back of your throat. You didn’t want him to leave, ultimately you wanted him closer. Nancy glanced over at the two of you, but at that moment you couldn’t be bothered to care. “Anything you need, baby?” Eddie asked, looking into your eyes, running a hand over your hair. It rolled on the tip of your tongue, what you needed. Daddy. You almost said it, but then Robin yelped a bit and then slapped her hand over her mouth. This once again made you aware of the fact that others were present. “Not really.” You mumbled, fiddling around with your fingers in your lap. “Want to help me in the kitchen?” He asked, knowing you usually liked to be close. You thought about it but decided that if you were to keep the feelings that currently were dangerously close, at bay then you were better off at the table. “I think I’ll keep our guest's company” you stated, eye flicking over to Nancy and Robin, before looking back at Eddie again. Eddie also looked at them, they were engaged in a hushed, private conversation, not really acknowledging that others were there. “Okay then,” he said, as he leaned over to take your plate. You inhaled and smelt the comforting mix of his cologne and the very vague smell of cigarettes. The scent of Eddie. Your favourite, the one you usually felt when you buried your face into his neck. When he left for the kitchen, a wave of sadness hit you and your eyes glossed over. You quickly blinked to get rid of them and worried that the women across the table had noticed, but they hadn’t.

Across the table, they hadn’t really noticed anything since Steve suggested that they should clear the table. Simply because Nancy took that moment to check in with her sub. “Colour sweetie?” Robin didn’t have to think for long. The desire to please Nancy was coming onto her strongly. “Green,” she said. “That’s my good girl,” Nancy said, kissing Robin's cheek. “I’m gonna turn it on again okay?” Robin nodded and then yelped loudly as Nancy had gone straight into setting number 4.

After Steve and Eddie had cleared the plates, they asked if you wanted dessert. You and the other decided that dessert could probably wait for a while. When the guys returned to the table, Eddie offered his hand to you and you took it. Way quicker than you had hoped. You brought your foot closer to his as well. If you hadn’t been so stubborn you would already be in his lap by now. It was more usual than not, your preferred seat was almost always Eddie. Nancy had picked up on the way you were behaving and was trying to silently ask Eddie what was up. Eddie tried to respond but none of the two really got their point across since they had to keep the conversation non-verbal. “Baby, why don’t you bring out the dessert from the fridge?” Eddie suggested, hoping Steve would offer to help so he could have a moment to explain your stubborn behaviour to Nance. The curly-haired woman was not late to pick up on what he was trying to do. “Robin, babe, why don't you go with, to help?” She suggested, and the sub was on her feet instantly, waiting for you to lead the way to the kitchen. Nancy also shot Steve a look, which made him look back at her confused for a moment, until it clicked in his head. “Oh right, yeah I’ll help you too”

Sat in your seat you contemplated what to do. Eddie leaned closer towards you, whispering in your ear. “Why don’t you go be my good girl? Hm? I know you want to.” You knew what he was trying to do, and it annoyed you to no end because it made you want to go get dessert, it made you want to please Eddie. But at the same time that goddamned stubbornness inside you, the one trying to keep your subby side at bay, made you want to riot. “Eddie can get them himself, you guys.” You said. You tried to let go of his hand to cross your arms in front of your chest, but you felt Eddie’s hand hold onto yours tighter. Almost as if he was trying to restrain you from bratting against him.

Robin who stood up was now at a crossroads, if she listened to you and sat down, then she would disobey Nancy. But she couldn’t really do much until you did. And you sat firmly in your chair. “Oh my god, Robin sit down, He is fully capable of getting them himself,” You said, with an eye roll. “He is just being a lazy bitch” Right, when the words left your mouth you regretted them. Because you felt both Eddie’s and Nancy’s eyes on you after that little outburst. Nancy’s eyes flicker from you to Eddie, silently asking him if he were about to let you get away with that behaviour. You felt Eddie rise from his chair, absolutely done with the stubborn brattiness that had gotten into you tonight. Your hand was still in his, but you sat firmly in your chair. Nancy called Robin over to her and she was by her side not a second later. You tried to keep your eyes focused on the pair, watching as Nancy’s fingers raked through Robin’s hair. But the Dom standing beside you, with stern, concerned, chocolate-coloured eyes watching you, was grabbing your attention no matter how hard you tried to look away. “Baby” he stated, tone serious. “Can I talk to you for a moment?” You knew it wasn’t a question. Still, you said; “I have guests to entertain.” “Actually,” Nancy said. “We better get going, or what do you think Robin?” Nancy put her hand in her pocket as she said it. Then everyone clearly saw how Robin’s eyes widened. “Mhrm, yeah, we… gottaleavelikenow…” she said. Nancy smirked. Steve, totally confused by the two couples he was sat between just said: “I’ll walk with you a bit”

Robin more or less ran for the door, whilst Nancy and Eddie agreed to give each other a call later. Eddie was still stood with his hand gripping yours when the door closed behind the guests. “Come with me,” he said. You obeyed, tired of fighting yourself.

Inside the bedroom you sat down on the bed, looking at your feet. You were feeling embarrassed about the outburst you had, embarrassed about the fact that you were both dripping and throbbing at the sight of your dom, and mostly embarrassed about the fact that you were going to have to say all of this out loud. “The behaviour from you tonight, it’s pure bullshit and you know it” Eddie saw how your bottom lip trembled slightly as you fiddled with your fingers. Eddie crouched in front of you. Lifting your chin to look him in the eyes. “C'mon sweetheart, we’ve talked about this.” He stated. Looking into your eyes, his deep ones looking back at you, soft, concerned, open. “I will gladly give you anything that you want, baby, but you have to tell me.” Your eyes welled up at his words, cos you felt like you let him down. The submissive guilt was getting to you. “Daddy.” You whimpered. Looking at Eddie. “Yes? I’m here baby, can you be a good girl and tell me what I can do for you?” He replied, putting his hands on your thighs rubbing softly up and down, coaxing you. “I need you,” you said, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Please” “How do you need me, sweetheart?” He asked. You felt embarrassed to say it, so instead of saying anything, you whined and dove forward, hiding your face in the crook of Eddie’s neck. “Alright now baby,” he said, holding a comforting hand on your back, whilst simultaneously lifting your head up, holding you in place to look at him. “Be a good girl and tell daddy where you need him” “Daddy… I’m throbbing” you said, eyes glossy and bottom lip trembling slightly. Eddie placed a light peck on your lips. “Are you now?” He said, “can you tell me where this throbbing is?” You whimpered, not wanting to say it. “You can say it, sweetheart, you are doing so well, being such a good girl, now use your words and I’ll make you feel good mkay?” Eddie said. ”my clit, it’s throbbing” you whispered. “And I need you, daddy” “Good girl” he praised, kissing your forehead. “Now let’s take care of that then” He pushed you back onto the bed keeping your knees bent. “Oh, I see,” Eddie said as he flipped your skirt up, “Sweetheart, who made you this wet?” The ran his pointer finger up and down your slit through your panties, running his finger over your clit. “More” you whimpered, the teasing was unbearable. Eddie smirked, you could tell that he had something planned. He kept running his finger but he decreased the pressure and now he was gracing ever so lightly across it, making you whine. “Shush it now, sweetheart, do you really think girls who call their daddy and lazy bitch get what they want without having to beg for it?” Eddie said. Fuck. You had hoped that he wouldn’t do anything about it but of course, luck wasn’t on your side. “Please, more” you begged. “Please, who?” He asked, removing his hand completely. “Please daddy,” you said, “touch me, fuck me, I need to not think about anything, please please please daddy.” It was more than Eddie ever expected to hear from you. But desperation apparently was the thing that got you talking. “Shh it’s okay, I’ve got you now baby,” he said, hooking his fingers into the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs. “I’m gonna make you feel so good sweetheart, that’s what you wanted right? You were a little brat simply because what you really wanted was for me to pay some well-earned attention to my good girl” He ran his fingers through your slit, coating them before the plunged two of them deep inside you, which earned a high-pitched moan. “My best girl, who needs me to make her brain go fuzzy, who needs me to make her feel so very good.” You felt the tension build in your stomach. “Uh, daddy” you moaned as Eddie was pumping his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace. He leaned down and started to flick his tongue over your clit. “Oh my, holy shit, daddy, I’m gonna cum, can I cum please?” You begged, whilst clutching the balled-up skirt you had around your waist. Eddie looked up at you from between your legs, keeping the steady pace he had going on with his fingers. “Cum for me, cum on my fingers like the good girl I know you are,” he said and it didn’t take long before you did. He pulled out his fingers but let the thumb on his other hand lazy drag over your clit as you rode out the first orgasm of the night. Eddie watched as your vagina twitched around nothing. “Miss me already baby?” He asked. “Mhm” you whimpered, and when Eddie increased the pressure on your sensitive clit you let out a high-pitched whine, followed by “Uh, too sensitive” “You can take it, baby, I know you can,” Eddie said and kept up the relentless rubbing on your already swollen clit. He took his slick-covered fingers and held up them to your lips. “Open up for me” You took his fingers in your mouth without hesitation, the feeling of them on your tongue, his rings resting on your bottom lip, it made your brain go all fuzzy. It flooded your mind with one thing and one thing only. Eddie, daddy. Him.

“Daddy I want you” you mumbled around his fingers. It was barely audible so Eddie removed them from your mouth. This in turn earned a loud, annoyed whine from you. “I know, baby, but I need to understand you” “I want you, in me” you stated again, with a desire to be filled by him. “Your wish is my command sweetheart” he replied with a kiss on your nose. He started to undress first you and then himself. “I wanna be close” you whimpered, in this state you suddenly had no problem with asking for what you wanted. “Alright baby, impatient now are we?” He asked as he took you into his lap, your legs straddling him, your arms around his neck, your tits pressed against his chest, as you sank down onto his cock. You buried your face into his neck, kissing, sucking, leaving hickies and faint bitemarks, you were pressed against him in every way possible and at that moment it truly felt like you would break, crumble and die if you weren’t so close to him. His right arm was wrapped across your back, gripping your left hip, and his left hand was gripping the hair at the back of your head. He guided your hips up and down on his shaft working up a pace quite quickly. “Daddy” you moaned against his neck, As he moved both his hands to your ass, where he could control your movements even more. “Yes, baby, uh you're doing so good, taking me so well,” he moaned breathily into your ear. “Wanna cum” you moaned, and Eddie placed a sloppy kiss on your lips before he said; “Just a little while longer, then you can cum I promise baby” You picked up the pace to get him there sooner and Eddie's hand came down in between your legs, giving your clit some well-earned attention. “I’m close daddy,” you said and felt Eddie's other hand come up and grabbed ahold of your neck. “Hold on sweetheart, if you can’t you know your safeword right?” He asked. You nodded to the best of your ability with his hand on your neck. You felt the grip tighten. “Words, sweetheart,” he said. “I know the word, it’s bats.” You said as Eddie’s guitar-strumming fingers went into overdrive on your clit. “Good girl” he groaned as you sank down onto him impossibly deeper. The hand he had on your throat moved to your chin, pulling your mouth to his, crashing his lips on yours. When the kiss broke he kept a steady grip on your chin, thumb running across the bottom lip before slipping it into your mouth. You moaned around it, whilst your eyes watered as you came close to overstimulation by the second. “Happy tears?” Eddie asked as he kissed some away as they fell on your cheeks. “Uhuh,” you said, agreeing. “You can cum baby,” he said, “cum with me.” You didn’t need more convincing than that. The combined stimulation of Eddie's hand on your chin, his fingers working fast on your clit and the filling sensation of his cock inside you made you go up into the clouds as you let go. “Daddy” you whined as you came down from your high. “I’m here baby, right here .” Tears were running down your cheeks at a fast rate as you wrapped yourself around Eddie, head on his shoulder, him still buried deep inside of you with his cum running out of you. “More” you whimpered, tired. “You got one more in you, baby?” He asked, you looked up at him, eyes hazy, as you were deep in subspace, and the only thing on your mind was to please Eddie, and if that meant more friction to the overly sensitive clit of yours then so be it. “C'mon then sweetheart, give me one more,” he said, removing the hand from your mouth and picking up the pace on your clit again, as he felt your vagina pulsate around his softening cock. The sensation was burning but euphoric at the same time. Eddie watched carefully as he brought you closer to orgasm. He showered you in praise and kissed your tear-stained cheeks. “You are doing so so so well,” he said, as he felt you tighten around him. “Cum whenever you’re ready baby” You felt it building and your mind clouded up with thoughts of Eddie. You came once again, this time squirting all over Eddie and the bed. “Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy” you rambled on, incapable of thinking of anything else. “I’ve got you, baby, you’ve done so well, my good girl.” He kissed your cheek. “More, daddy,” you said, slumped against him. Totally exhausted and fucked out. “No more sweetheart,” Eddie said and watched as you whined into his shoulder. “It’s okay baby,” he said and kissed the crown of your head as more tears spilled down your cheeks. Eddie realised that he needed to calm you down a bit before he could proceed with his usual aftercare since you were high on about every emotion on the register right now. Totally euphoric, devastated to have it end, and tired out of your mind. “Here baby,” Eddie said and held up two fingers to your mouth. You grabbed his wrist with your hand and took his fingers into your mouth, suckling on them as you calmed down. Eddie smiled at you. “That’s it, sweetheart, calm down for me.” He said, kissing your sweaty forehead. “Then I’m thinking that we’ll go have a bath”

In the bathroom, you whimpered a lot as Eddie temporarily let go of you as he had to fill the tub, but you soon stopped as Eddie brought you into the bath with him. You came back to yourself a little as Eddie rubbed a lathered washcloth across your body. “You there baby?” he asked and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Yeah” you replied. Then you yelped as he brushed the washcloth between your legs, brushing against your still-swollen clit. “Oh shit, sorry baby,” he said. The two of you bathed in silence for a while until Eddie cleared his throat and said. “Is there something that you still wanna talk about?” he tilted your chin up so he could read your expression. “Cos I know the behaviour from you today didn´t just come from horniness, sweetheart.” You felt yourself grow embarrassed at the mention of your behaviour. “You´re right, work was terrible today, and I withheld the crash that I needed., but right now I think I just want to keep being distracted from the thoughts of work.” You said, looking up at him sheepishly. “Then you'll get just that,” Eddie promised. “But sweetheart, the next time that you feel like you need to crash, then please tell me, cause I'll gladly catch you” “I know, I'm sorry for not saying anything, daddy,” you said, burying yourself closer into him. “Don't apologise, just relax in the bath now baby, and then we’ll get to eat that dessert” “Can I go get it?” You asked, to which Eddie chuckled and agreed.

Dessert was eaten and the empty desert bowls were left on your bedside table then you and Eddie snuggled up in bed, you on top of him, wearing his Hellfire club shirt and some panties. You were fast asleep, truly exhausted by the events of the night. Your oral fixation had certainly been coming on strong during the night and you had asked Eddie for his fingers the minute you had curled up and he wasn’t one to deny you anything. So that’s how you ended up asleep with his fingers in your mouth, your grip on his wrist still tight.

The phone rang and he picked it up quickly not to wake you. “Munson?” He said. “Hi, it’s Nancy,” said the voice on the other line. “Hi, how are things? I’m sorry we had to cut dinner so short” Eddie said into the phone as he checked to see if you were asleep enough for him to take his hand back. You weren’t and awoke for a moment, gabbing his wrist a little tighter. “Things are great, it’s no problem you know, something was obviously up and your su..” she caught herself masking it as a cough. “Your girl always comes first” “She does,” he said, smiling down at your sleeping form.“Speaking of...hrm...girls, I assume that you had something to do with the squirming that Robin was up to tonight?” He hesitated as he had said it. Was asking this question overstepping a boundary? Nancy chuckled on the other end of the line. “I absolutely had.” Nancy looked down at the girl, barely asleep beside her. “Let me just tell you, she was a true champ tonight.” Nancy thought about the night that they had and the many, many orgasms that Robin had provided. By the fifth, Robin had more or less begged her to stop but Nancy had only reminded her of her safeword, and then she turned up the setting on the vibrator that was pressed against Robin. She ran her fingers through the hair and down the bare back of the exhausted girl beside her. “I was thinking maybe we should meet up for some ice cream or something tomorrow?” Eddie suggested. “To make up for the lack of dessert” Nancy smiled at the suggestion. “We’d love to!” She said, “Guess we’ll have to invite Steve too?” Eddie chuckled at the memory of Steve’s confused face. “Yeah, of course”

This is a part 2 to this update made after i was robbed a few months back

So you all might wanna know how things have gone since then, so this post is here to provide some answers.

Has the thief been caught? Has your stuff been recovered?

Sadly, nothing has changed from last time, no updates, no calls, no responses back from my email. Nothing. The police have told me absolutely nothing.

I am as in the dark as you all at this point.

How has the replacement process been going?

While it started off ok, because of how dreadful the mail service has been lately, items i ordered back when this all happened still hadn't arrived months later, i only just now got a few of them days ago.

And some still are out there.

One being a special keychain that i ordered, didn't arrive, was sent a make up replacement and even THAT still hasn't arrived and it's been months.

It's been a rough period lately.

How you been doing?

It's been a mixed bag, i'm better then i was but it's hard to say i'm GREAT either. The situation massively effected my time at work and almost cost me my job for a brief period.

I had some breakdowns and after being on the waitlist since January and hearing nothing back....i called my therapist office so i could see if i could get my new therapist sometime soon.

Around the time the incident happened i was already in a bad place because so much bad stuff happened to me around the same time and while things have improved, the last few months were massively affected by everything.

I wish this was a happier update, but sadly it's not.

Don't get me wrong, my mental health has improved at this point in time, but it's still rough and the situation still hurts.

I just wanted you to know what was happened since i promised to provide updates if there was anything to tell.

MATTHEW TKACHUK - Good 4 u

This is one of the older works of mine, so my writing style is pretty different. It's a reupload since it was just gone for some reason. TW: cheating, heart break, no happy ending (sorry not really). PART OF THE SOUR SERIES

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You found a new girl, and it only took a couple weeks

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (World?)

Only 3 weeks it took Matthew to move on. You knew way before that he was cheating. The look of losing interest was plastered on his face every time he looked at you. He rarely even called you when he was away for a few days. But you denied it until you couldn’t. You always would brush it off and say to yourself. That Matthew would never do that to you. Even when the evidence was clearly in front of you.

During the start of the relationship Matthew always wanted what was best for you and would do anything you wanted. He wanted to give you everything the world included. That was however, when he was still in love with you. It didn’t seem like that now. 

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby

God, I wish that I could do that

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom

After you and Matthew broke up it seemed like this new girlfriend of his just stepped right into your place. They both started to post on instagram and it was even on some headlines. All talk about their relationship. Heck, not even one person seemed to care. You didn’t really expect anyone too, because Matthew never posted or your relationship never was public. His pathetic excuse was ‘I don’t want you to get backlash or hate.’ You believed it was true until some point when he started to talk to his current girlfriend.

It seemed like his life was perfect and that he was clearly doing way better without you there. His new girlfriend was a full on replacement and was probably doing a way better job then you ever had. He moved on unlike you. Whenever you turned on your phone or tried to scroll through instagram, posts of him were everywhere. You couldn’t help break down which made your heart break even more and restart all over again.

Almost every night you would find yourself on the floor crying, wishing that you could go restart everything and find out. What you did wrong in the relationship. You tried your best and it hurt so badly.

Well, good for you, I guess you're getting everything you want (ah)

You bought a new car and your career's really taking off (ah)

It's like we never even happened

Baby, what the fuck is up with that? (Ha)

And good for you, it's like you never even met me

It’s only been a month since you and Matthew split and he seemed to be getting everything he ever wanted. He had an amazing girlfriend and they bought a house together. And his career was taking off ever since he moved to florida to play for them. He was the talk of hockey currently and you couldn’t go a day without hearing someone talk about him. It frustrated you; it was like you never existed to him. The fans didn't even know. Not even any of his new teammates or old teammates. You were just another stranger to all of them. It was like you and him never even met or knew each other. He didn’t even reach out, you were truly nothing to him.

Maybe I'm too emotional

But your apathy is like a wound in salt

Maybe I'm too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

After a while you started to ask yourself if you’re just too emotional. Clearly he didn’t feel how you felt. But you decided it was because of what he put you through. He never showed care or apathy like how you showed him. It was because he never truly cared. Why else would he leave you when you tried your absolute best for him. 

Whenever you tried to recall him caring about you or showing interest. You couldn’t remember you and matthew were together for 9 months and during the 6 month mark is when he started to slowly lose interest in you. It started with him not asking how your day was and it came to the point where he wouldn't even call you, or cognize you.  

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.

It was now time for you to move on, so that’s what you did. You packed up your stuff and said goodbye to everything you ever knew in your city and moved. You moved closer to some friends in New York. You bought yourself a small little apartment and set yourself up there. For a fresh start and new beginnings.

After a few weeks in your new city you began to feel comfortable and happy. There wasn’t really any mention of Matthew in New York, as there’s two New York teams and they were mainly the talk of the night & day. So you fully moved on partially yes you would sometimes have a good cry here and there. But it wasn’t frequent. You could finally go to NHL games without tearing up and you started to post on instagram again.

You were almost ready to start dating again until your phone lit up and a message appeared on your lock screen. You didn’t even need to look twice. You already knew who it was. "I’m sorry." You didn’t want to hear it. It’s been months and he messages you now. You couldn’t deal with it, you didn’t want to restart all of your progress you made over the months. So you just blocked the number and threw your phone across the room not even thinking twice to even send a response back. It felt good to finally get rid of the last fragment of your relationships existence. He moved on really easily so you can finally now as well.

OKAY I don't rlly post much here but I saw this gorgeous au for jegulus from @ashshmee and I wanted to try writing it(my other acc is the one that commented) skshhsjdjshsbe SORRY IF ITS NOT PERFECT 😭

JAMES POV:

I had been waiting a while now for Sirius to finally be ready. Even though I'm the one who asked to go, he's taking longer than me to get ready. I had never gone to the ballet before, but it always intrigued me how those dancers were able to seem so graceful while using up more strength than I could ever imagine. Sirius had said it was his little brother's show, which really had me curious. Sirius doesn't talk about Regulus often, but when he does he's always sounded so... Surreal. Like not even Sirius fully believed he had a brother so unlike him. Sirius, even as my best friend— I can say he's a graceful as a rat. But he makes up for it in other ways; He's an amazing singer, the best I've ever heard in my 22 years on this earth. And Sirius has this presence to him on stage... It's unmatched. But for Sirius, who barely has uttered a non- sarcastic compliment to anyone in YEARS unless he was flirting, to praise someone like that... Regulus has to be spectacular.

But finally, Sirius steps out of the bathroom, his hair and makeup finally finished. It's much more elegant than his usual get up, but it still feels like him. Instead of his usual washed out black jeans and a leather jacket, he's wearing black dress pants and a black button up with only a simple smoky eye for makeup. Even his usually long wind blown hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, small strands framing the front of his face. "I'm ready, prongs! You good to go mate?" He nonchalantly says, as if he hadn't spent the last hour in the bathroom. I roll my eyes at him, "I've been ready Siri, you're the one I was waiting for." He drinks at me like that will stop us from being late. "Well what's done is done, and I'm ready now so let's go!" He shrugs on a nice black trench coat he has and walks towards the door, "We don't wanna be late, now do we prongs?" Chuckling and shaking my head, I follow him, knowing he knows full well that if we're late, it's his fault.

When we reach the theater the show had just begun. But luckily, Sirius said that Regulus doesn't come on for a few more minutes. The skill of the dancers can be seen from miles, they move in time with the music in a way I've never seen before, but would love to see up close. It would be a cool idea for a music video if we got a ballet dancer. Just as I'm about to whisper the idea to Sirius, he comes onto stage. There's no mistaking it— That is Regulus Black. And he is nothing short of an absolute dream. His short black hair, even if it's not half as long as Sirius' flows like the wind as he- "What are those turns called?" I whisper to Sirius. "Pirouettes," He replies, looking at me curious, "Why?" I don't answer him—I can't. How could I answer when Regulus was dancing? I had no idea what the ballet was about, but the aura Regulus exuded was nothing short of prince. Not even that. He was so much more. He glides across that stage with the likeliness of a star gliding through the sky. He owned everything he touched; Every step he took, every turn, every thing he did was magnificent. And the look on his face... It could put even the most beautiful of things to shame. It was delicate, like he was protecting something, but just as fierce and focused. His shining eyes look as if he has been given the world in his hands, and honestly in this moment... He could rule it and no one would protest. But just like that, the shining star, left as if he was never there. My heart doesn't slow, even as he leaves the stage. Not even as the show itself finishes. I don't even remember if he came on stage again after that. I didn't realize the show was over until Sirius was shaking me out of the trance I was in. "Prongs. Prongs!" I stare at him, still feeling dazed and heated "Yeah? What's wrong?" Sirius sighs and eyes me worried. "You were completely spaced out, mate? And you look red as well... You sure you're okay?" I nod. "Yeah, yeah of course... It was just..." I trail off, my mind immediately going to Regulus. Sirius moves his hands, trying to prompt me to say more. But there's only one thought on my mind. "You have to let me meet Regulus. Please Sirius." With a suspicious expression on his face, Sirius opens his mouth to say more but closes it and sighs. "Fine, we'll meet up with him once he finishes getting ready."

SORRY TO CUT IT SHORT GUYS BUT I GTG, SO I'LL MAKE A PT. 2 TMR I PROMISE, HOPE U LIKED JAMES PINING OVER REGGIE ALR

{Take it off} König x (GN) reader~

Hey guys! It’s honestly been way too long. Firstly, I want to apologize for taking such a long hiatus. Many things in my life have changed to be honest.

My age, my interests, my personal life, my job, my health and so my writing style unsurprisingly has also gone through a transformation of itself. Looking back on my old works I honestly cannot say I have read more than about three sentences before I can’t stand to look any more. It’s just so BAD. Not saying that my new shit is much better, but it’s a slow and steady uphill battle. But for some of my more consistent followers you might have also noticed the change of theme on my page. I will no longer just be catering to the community of five nights at Freddy’s. And I apologize to the folks who only stay on my page for that type of content but honestly, if I only made that type of content, I wouldn’t post here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still love five nights at Freddy’s and will be writing more content of that eventually (I’m sure if it lol.) but it’s just not my main focus at the moment I’m sure so for now I really want to branch out to some more games/characters that I’m enjoying in the moment so you guys get more variety and so can get some more people on my page who can enjoy my work.

For this first newer post I decided to take it easy since I haven’t really written anything for a while. And I feel like the longer fics that I write are the last motivation I have to finish. So another change will be that my fix will probably be shorter one shots/ two or three parts instead of a whole series. I may also end up doing a lot of headcannons or imagines to help with writer's block.

Cod MW/MW2 has been my current infatuation, so expect a few more posts of that. Buckle up children cause we are going for a ride!

This post is a short little sweet fic about seeing konigs face for the first time. It’s simple and it’s SFW so I hope you guys enjoy it.

Tags: sfw, fluff, complements, just good ol brain rot.

Fic below the cut.

——————————

It’s hard not to notice how hot it is.

The air conditioner on base wasn’t very good anyways, but you never noticed how significant it was until you no longer had any.

As you walked down the hall you could hear some of the newer recruits here at KorTac complaining. And to be honest, you couldn’t blame them. It was difficult to bite your tongue, but as a higher rank you had to pretend everything was alright despite the sweat parading down your neck and body. It was so sweltering even your eyes were dripping.

You brushed away as much as you could with your one free while you made your way towards your colonel’s office. Your captain had asked you to deliver a few documents as per usual, so you weren’t too bothered making the trip.

The colonel himself was an interesting character. And although you weren’t able to see the pleasure of him working out in the field, he was a usual participant in helping to train the troops. And oh boy, what a sight to behold.

Firstly the man is an absolute unit. He’s over a foot taller than you, (ignore that if ur a tall person xD)

He’s built like a tank, and works out with a giant black t-shirt on his head. He was always a sight to behold out on the training course, and most of all was a very kind and experienced leader. you definitely could understand how he earned his title. as quiet as he might pose himself to be, he was a skilled and brutal fighter.

And that’s why you're so intrigued as you strut to room 106. His room. You wonder how he’s faring with the heat, especially with that unusual getup of his. You even wondered if he would have it off. It’s unlikely, but the curiosity of what the colonel might look like under the mask had you that much more excited when you knocked on his door.

You heard a grunt of displeasure from behind the door, followed by a faint “come inside.”

You twisted the knob and pulled the door open revealing a pretty uneventful spectacle.

Colonel König sat behind his desk fiddling with some papers. The soft hum of a nearby fan could be heard in the background, and you noticed he was wearing the full getup- helmet and all.

He looked up to meet your eyes before ushering you further inside with a slight motion of his finger.

you find yourself trying hard not to stare as you hand him the paperwork.

“Captain said to give these to you. More files from the new recruits. He mentioned he would be out for the weekend so He said to let you know to give him a call to his personal cell if you needed anything in particular from him.” You relayed your message from the captain and was officially finished with your service.

A sigh fell from Königs lips before he spoke “Ah yes, I remember him intending to do such. Thank you Liefermädchen, have a hopefully cooler afternoon.” He noted before he looked back down to finish his work and you spun to exit the room.

You took a few steps but before you left you couldn’t contain your burning question… literally

“I’m sorry sir, but I just have to ask…” you squeak out as you flip back around to face him.

Konig looks up again from his work and this time you can tell he is intrigued just by his eyes. He brings his built arms up to his head and gives them a good stretch before crossing it behind his neck and placing one leg over the other.

“Alright, don’t leave me waiting. Shoot.” He’s now staring intensely at you, and you feel yourself begin to feel hyper aware of the sweat now dripping down your face from your hair and even your eyebrows. You’re sure glad you happened to choose to exclude makeup from your morning routine today. No doubt it would have melted off just standing here.

“Aren’t you hot under all of… well, that ?” You question as you wave your hand all over his makeshift sniper getup. “It is almost 40 degrees outside sir. And with no air conditioning to help alleviate things… well I can’t imagine you're quite comfortable.”

“I am aware of the situation we are under,” he remarks. Now uncomfortably shifting around in his seat, “ but I’m doing alright.” He fibs.

Your going to regret saying this later, but before you can stop it, it’s already squeezed itself between your lips,

“Bullshit.”

You try to pretend you didn’t just say that to your Colonel, but the shock is clearly present on your face.

This causes the man to burst out into deep bounds of laughter, causing him to let his legs fall back into place and to unfold his arms to clutch his stomach with joy.

“You are a hilarious and very brave Herzblatt” he bellows as his laughter dies out. “ You have caught me in my fib.” He takes a moment to stand up and shrug his large shoulders under the shirt. “I am quite warm…”

“Then why not take it off? You pose to him.

“People come to my office often. To take it off, means to risk someone seeing my face.” He motions to himself as he speaks and you struggle to understand what he means.

“So? Why would that matter?” You retort.

“I’m not sure I feel quite comfortable with people knowing what I look like. Kindness has not been in my favor when people had the pleasure of looking at me without my mask.” He says, making you finally understand.

“Are you afraid people will target your looks?” You tilt your head as you move slightly closer to where the Colonel stands. How saddening that is to hear. You wonder what Konig has had to endure in the past, and your heart yearns to help him overcome his insecurity.

He looks to the floor, obviously ignoring your question,

You take this as your opportunity to breach the distance between the two of you. And the conversation suddenly feels like a mother confronting her mistreated child.

“You are the colonel of this base.” Without regard to overstepping you place your hand on Königs left shoulder. “ it wouldn’t matter if your face was so hideous it turned people into stone sir. People will respect you regardless, you are a leader here, and a leader doesn’t need to have a pretty face to still be respected. And anyways, your face probably is perfectly handsome anyways. I’ve never met an insecure ugly person.” The last two bits were a little overboard but you made your point regardless.

He smiles under his mask with your words to him. He couldn’t believe you were giving him a chance to feel a little better about himself, plus the idea of finally being able to strip himself of his personal sauna would make his job a little bit easier.

“I don’t suppose you would take it off just for a little while? I’m sure it would help cool you down.” (That was a lie) nothing would cool either of you down without air conditioning in this sweltering heat.

König pauses for a moment, and he contemplates what unveiling himself to you would mean to him. suddenly, it feels much worse that you would be the first to see him. He knows you probably wouldn’t judge, but something about it being you that just made him feel…Flustered.

He wanted to say no, but before he could protest you pushed at him again, this time trailing your hand to the bottom of his mask and tugging on it gently.

“Please. Just in front of me? I promise I’ll play nice.”

That last sentence made his head spin. Were you flirting with him?

No.. you can’t be? Can you?

His heart began to speed up to a pace so quick, he worried you might be able to hear it pounding in his chest.

“Okay.” He affirmed, unclamping his helmet and pulling the hood off to reveal his balaclava.

You felt the anticipation begin to boil inside of you as he brought his hand to his hood and firmly pulled it off of his head, not giving himself any time to process that he was revealing his face to you.

When he finished pulling his head out and tossed his balaclava to the side with the rest of his gear, you can’t help but feel your jaw drop.

He was stunning.

His hair was brown and curly, and falling to his shoulders. His face was chiseled, and covered with rough stubble. He adorned battle scars like medals and his lips looked so supple and soft.

You couldn’t imagine why he felt the need to coward himself away under a mask for so long. He was beautiful.

Your silence must have begun to worry him, as you noticed he had broken eye contact and was looking towards his balaclava.

You quickly realized that and gained his attention with a tap to his shoulder. You both had forgotten you were still sitting your hand there.

“So how do I look?” He questioned nervously. And your words couldn’t have been more perfect to him.

“I think the temperature of the room just shot up a million more degrees.”

——————————————————————————

An:

For all my visual learners here is my favorite depiction of what I believe Konig looks like under his mask. Of course all credits to the artist! (NOT MY ART) Please go to their post and like it. Also I’m not posting the actual picture to my post to respect the artist’s wishes of no reposts. Just go to the link stinkies and I will see what I mean okay-byeIloveyou!

https://www.tumblr.com/gildedskully/703578007597678592/face-reveal-i-just-think-hes-neat-rbs

(Please read)

Should I do a part 2 where things get a little… spicy?

I very well might. The temptation is greatly building in me.

Anyways for now that is all. I hope you're enjoying my newer writing style and are not disappointed in my branch out to other fandoms. As always I very much appreciate any support I get. It makes my day when I see people comment or like my posts. It’s unfathomable to me that people actually read my shit writing- 💀

Oh and, Btw if you have requested any fics from me I will get into writing those hopefully soon. I know my hiatus looked quite gloomy and long, but I’m back for now. Me taking long breaks is honestly just how I am as a person. I always come back though. Life gets busy, and I’m an adult so other adults understand the struggles of juggling jobs, life and hobbies. Even if I am gone my fics are still here for you to enjoy. Rather If that’s ten days from now or ten years, I hope you’ll enjoy them just the same.

Thank you.

-Elizabeth

trash magic

"boy, you wanna hold me down and tell me that you love me?"

or the one where you get a tattoo for joel and he shows you just how much he appreciates it.

what’s playing 🎧 trash magic by lana del rey

pairing : joel miller x reader

word count : 2k

*unedited*

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, joel is sooo super turned on by your tattoo, size kink, overstimulation, mentions of unspecified age gap, unprotected sex, tit-fucking, lots of heavy petting/groping, praise and hints of degrading, joel is a dirty depraved man muahaha

TRIGGER WARNINGS : uhh none come to mind but if there’s something that is triggering plz let me know. otherwise enjoy <3

a/n : hi guys i’m so sorry it took me FOREVER to update, i just wanted to post smth small bc i felt bad abt my lack of presence on here. i wanna say thank u so much for the love and support on my work it means the absolute WORLD to me. life has just been so draining and writing has fallen to the back burner and i HATE it but here, i hope this slightly makes up for it, i promise i have a lot in store!!

it had been just a little over a month. a little over a month without joel was time spent cruelly—longingly. and in all honesty, most people in jackson wondered why you were so distraught over his lack of presence, unable to comprehend why a young, pretty girl spent all her time trailing behind a stone-faced old man. but he was your stone-faced old man. his hard glare, monotone responses and hands that were perpetually stuck in fists, were all aspects you loved about him, despite the fact that they seemed to act as a wall to block everyone out.  but what people didn’t realize was that those walls came right back down the second it came to you. 

you figured their judgment lied in the point of view that they had of him. they only saw cold joel, unfriendly joel who had zero time for anyone except ellie and, maybe you. but they didn't see the way he was when you were alone. they didn’t see the way his face would drop all its coldness when he'd look at you, his fists following in suit and unraveling into gentle hands that would tighten around your jaw to pull you up for a kiss. instead, all they saw was a hardened old man leading on some girl young enough to be his daughter. 

and even if he was, you didn't care. it was hard to care about anything when he'd press his mouth over yours, enveloping you in and cleansing you of everything you've ever worried about the second his tongue pushed past your lips. you replayed the way his scruff felt against your skin, your bare tummy…your inner thighs. you squirmed around in the booth at the tipsy bison, ignoring the comments about how you're going to regret getting the tattoo that you did, how joel is nice and all, but he's the last guy you should be getting a tattoo for. 

you didn’t fucking care, the only thing that you did care about was how he would feel about it. and god, you hoped he liked it. you are definitely not one to handle pain all that well, and with the limited supplies cat had after tattooing ellie, you were extra nervous of all that could go wrong. but you missed joel so much, you needed something, anything, that felt like a piece of him was always with you. 

the moth sticker on the neck of his guitar always did catch your eye, and when he was gone, you’d cradle his guitar, hold it the way he would and simply stare at the sticker. you imagined him the day he stuck it on, the way he’d look down at it, and maybe even smile to himself. it made your heart just about ache at the image. 

you grew antsy to show joel the more you thought about it, but maintained what little patience you had left. you decided to keep it a surprise until you both got home, feeling as though the reveal was something that deserved to be private for you two alone. 

—

“i have a surprise for you.” you whispered excitedly, clambering into his lap. he smiled up at you, pushing his glasses into his hair and shutting his book. his eyes fell to your fingers that slowly took their time unbuttoning each little button on the flannel that…suspiciously looks a whole lot like the one that went missing from his side of the closet. 

“that so?” he hummed in that low gruff voice of his, a hot feeling stirring in his lower stomach as he watched the flannel begin to part the lower you went. 

“mhm. i hope you like it.” you murmured, swallowing hard when you pulled the flannel open. his eyes lingered on yours for a moment before traveling down to the valley of your breasts, gasping when he saw a moth decorating your skin. 

“are you out your goddamn mind?” joel exhaled in disbelief, tracing his fingers over the moth splayed across your sternum. 

your hands gripped the fabric of your flannel, fingernail rolling over the button with nerves. “are you…are you mad?” you unintentionally whimpered, and he shook his head, sitting up with you in his lap, leaning forward and pulling his glasses back down to look at it better. “no baby no but, i…i coulda given you the sticker i had,” he laughed, unable to peel his eyes off of the tattoo. you rolled your eyes jokingly but in the back of your mind, fear was starting to settle in. 

did he hate it?  

“do you like it?” you asked quietly, praying he said yes. “oh, baby i love it,” he uttered heavily, bringing his stare from your chest up to your face. he pulled you by your chin, smile still on his lips while he kissed you. you cupped his face, thumbs circling around the stubble on his jaw, a giddy feeling beginning to bubble in your tummy. 

“did it hurt?” he questioned with his lips still close to yours. you nodded, pecking him. “yeah. but i just thought of you the whole time,” you admitted truthfully, smiling fondly down at him. he shook his head, kissing you again. he made a sound of sympathy, running his thumb along your bottom lip. he stared at your chest before something clicked in him, making him flip you on your back.

he wasn’t phased by the surprised yelp that left you, instead he was focused on stopping your hands from trying to hide your bare chest with the flannel. “unh unh don’t cover up now, too pretty to be doin that,” he chastised lowly, devouring you with his eyes. you grew hot under him as he continued speaking. “looks so good on you…real good, wish i was there with ya while you got it done baby,” he groaned, hands groping your breasts, thumbs straying to caress the wings of the moth. 

you whined hushedly, arching your back into his touch. “i do too but you were gone,” you formed something like a pout, pushing an upset finger into his chest. he tsked, holding your accusatory hand to kiss your palm. “i know, i know, already said m’sorry baby,” he murmured, taking advantage of the way you softened at his actions. he trailed kisses down your jaw, murmuring more apologies for his absences. his words were enough, and all you could do was just lean into him, taking every touch and kiss he gave you happily. 

“can’t believe you did this,” he breathed out, pressing his growing bulge to your clothed core. you whined, sitting up on your elbows. your ankles lock around him eyeing him from under your eyelashes. “i just wanted to feel like you were always with me, i missed you so much joel,”

he breathed in sharply at your confessions, his cock twitching and heart racing. “oh baby,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead lovingly. “missed you too. thought about you all the time.” his hand rubbed your outer thigh making its way between your legs. “thought abt this,” he exhaled, feeling you buck down into his palm with a sweet little moan from your lips. 

“missed it s’goddamn much, missed you the most though,” he muttered, the familiar twange in his voice sparking a smile across your face. he pushed your panties to the side, gathering your slick with the pads of his fingers, his cockhead weeping with precum when it registered just how wet you were with such small touches. 

he pushed his middle finger in and wasted no time in fucking you with his digit just the way you liked. you cried out, gripping his wrist while he fucked into your little cunt with his finger, groaning to himself at how tight you felt. 

he leaned down, kissing all over the tattoo, licking and nipping at your breasts while you tangled your fingers in his hair. 

“joel—fuck, just, just—please fuck me,” you breathed out, the patience you’d been struggling to keep had finally ran out, and you couldn’t wait anymore, you needed to have him the way you’ve been craving all this time. “shit—alright, need it tha’ bad huh,” he grunted, pulling himself from out his boxers. 

he held your waist with both large hands of his, pushing inside you, burying his face in your chest and groaning loudly at the way you grip him. you cried out, nails digging into his wide back, teeth grazing his shoulder while you tried to catch your breath. 

the stretch burned and tingled, rippling through your skin and nerves in a way you hadn’t felt in so long. he pushed in and out of you slowly and gently, shaky little breaths that sounded obscene, fanned out over your lips from his parted mouth, and you breathed them all in, pulling him in closer. 

his forehead rested on yours, kissing you while his hips grounded down into yours, taking his time to appreciate how fucking good you felt all around him. utterances of f-fuck, baby poured into your mouth from his, casting a warm sensation to spread across your cheeks. 

he rocked into you, somehow going deeper with every thrust. knowing that he was filling you to the very brim sent him into a mindless delirium, and in return fastening the way he fucked you. gentleness morphed into rushed, desperation to feel you, every single inch and crevice and to make up for lost time. 

you took him in, tightening your calves around his lower back, tugging at the back of his hair while his tongue lapped at your tits and sternum, losing his mind at the fact that you’ve marked yourself as his with this moth. your bold declaration of love and dedication to him turned him on in ways he couldn’t even begin to fathom and the more he thought about it, the harder his hips crashed down into yours. 

“missed me so much you had to get something that reminded you of me tattooed on ya’,” he grunted, grabbing one of your legs and haphazardly throwing it over his shoulder, shuffling even closer to fuck you harder. you couldn’t even reply correctly, all you could do was tearfully babble, nodding stupidly. 

“love you so much joel,” you hiccuped, entire body being nearly fucked into the headboard, tits bouncing mesmerizingly with each thrust joel sends into you. 

“say it again,” he groaned, cock twitching at your open admissions. “i love you, love you love you so much,” you cried, leg beginning to tremble on top of his shoulder. 

“‘love you too baby, love you so goddamn much,” he breathed out in a rasp, shuddering a heavy sigh when you tighten and pulse all around his cock. 

he loved the way his hands just engulfed you, his hand almost covering the entirety of one of your breasts, palming your soft flesh. you were so easy to squeeze, to pick up and hold and fuck, and joel took full advantage of his strength and how palpable for him you were. 

with ease he pulled you up along with him, still impaled on his fat cock, feeling a familiar cockiness spread in his chest when you whimpered at the feeling of him so far inside of you. 

he rested on his haunches, keeping you upright with his hands gripping your hips tight, face falling into your chest once more, his beard tucking the valley of your breasts. 

your bodies flowed into each other’s fluidly, hips rolling and meeting each and every thrust like clockwork, his hips coming up only to be met with yours crashing down into his. it was addicting, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, could barely even remember your own name, the only thing you could manage was fucking yourself onto joel. 

“so deep,” you cried out through a series of whines and he laughed, bringing a big hand to your tummy, rubbing over where his cock bulged. you keened, lips trembling while you squeezed his shoulders. “i know baby i know,” he crooned, plastering an open mouth kiss onto you. 

he slid a hand between your wet grinding bodies to rub circles over your soaked little clit, chuckling to himself when you choked on a sob at the contact. you shook like a leaf in his arms, his sweet little angel so close, he felt it in the way your cunt gripped his cock, and it filled him with pride knowing he was the only one who could unravel you like this. 

“know you needa cum baby—you gonna ask me?” he growled in your mouth, biting your bottom lip testingly. you whimpered, arching your chest into his, a little pathetic nod following your actions. “s-sorry joel, please please let me cum, feels so good i-i dunno if i can hold it,” you whimpered, trying to fuck yourself on his cock. 

the swirls from his fingers over your clit persisted and it made you vibrate in his hold, your impending orgasm making you lose what little control you had over your own body. 

“c’mon baby give it to me, cum all over it,” he grunted gruffly, and you shook wildly, squeezing your eyes shut and collapsing in his arms while your orgasm reverberated all throughout your limbs  

“joel—oh my—fuck!” you sobbed, bouncing on his cock while you rode out your orgasm, feeling milked dry as he rubbed your clit into over sensitivity. 

“good baby, so fuckin’ good,” he drawled out lowly, patting your poor abused clit with his long fingers. “wanna do somethin’ for me?” he panted and you nodded eagerly. 

“lie back for me,” he ordered and you obeyed, laying back down onto the pillows beneath you. he begrudgingly pulled out of your tight cunt, shushing you when you whimpered at the loss of him inside you. 

he straddled you, feeling his cock ache in his rough palm when you stared up at him, resting on your elbows, cute tits perked and barely concealed from his flannel. 

he shoved the material away from your flesh, jerking himself off before he put it between your tits. “push ‘em together f’me—ahh shit, y-yeah just like that—oh shit baby, keep lookin at me like that—“ he growled under his breath, fucking your tits with hard pistons from his hips. 

“gonna cum, gonna cum on these cute fuckin’ tits baby,” he groaned, throwing his head back while you egged him on, whimpering and squeezing your thighs together at how he used your chest to cum, it was so hot seeing him fall apart on top of you, looking glorious and gorgeous even in such dirty circumstances. 

you wrapped your lips around his leaking cockhead, the corners of your mouth peeking upwards with smugness at the way he gasped and shivered at your actions. “shit,” he groaned, his own orgasm taking over his body. 

he came in your mouth, your tits still engulfing his shaft. he twitched on your tongue, whimpering to himself at the way you sucked on his tip. he pulled himself away from your plump lips, starting to soften from how sensitive he was. 

he laid beside you, pulling you into his arms once more, feeling content and right with the world when you nestled into your rightful place on his chest. 

“still in awe over you.” he murmured, running his fingertips up and down your arm. “you’ll get used to the tattoo soon,” you giggled and he shook his head. “meant you…you as a whole baby.” he whispered and you looked up at him, pupils dilating into hearts. “joel,” you uttered, leaning up to kiss him. “i love you,” you mumbled sleepily. he smiled, kissing your clammy forehead. “i love you too baby.”