#everything relates back to something else was my point when i started this
Note
YAY! i greatly enjoyed your shoujo au!!! it was amazing to read, ty for your contribution to humanity u r doing god's work frfr!!! would you be willing to write a hanahaki au for the twst second years? (preferably an angsty ending, but if you would prefer something happier, that's 100% fine with me!! i'm not picky!!) 🤭♥️
hanahaki + second years
hanahaki: a fictional disease caused by unrequited love in which you vomit blood and flower petals (flowers tend to relate to the person you) and although there is an option for treatment, you become numb to emotions. if you don’t get treatment, you die.
(I decided to add how the twst seconds years would treat the disease— will they get treatment or not?)
not very good angst warning under the cut!!!
riddle rosehearts
riddle grew up alone, mostly. every time he seeked for comfort, for company, it’ll fall apart. it would always go wrong, he’d lose everything the moment he got too greedy.
riddle still struggled to properly face trey and chen’ya after all those years, even if he got better with it. it was too embarrassing, too lame. he felt like a loser. a sore loser who deserved nothing. oh sevens, did the world have something against him?
things were looking on the bright side. he was out of his mother’s furious grip, he has more freedom than he ever did (even if he goes by strict rules) he could make as many friends as he liked and hang out with them as much as he liked.
he still preferred being private, however. he liked his friends, you included. they were more understanding of him than any other member of the school. although he’d twist and turn in bed when he thinks back to his overblot (how embarrassing of me! he thinks) he would still much prefer being with those who accepted him a long time ago.
you weren’t too big on sweets. you liked them, sure, but the more you ate the more your mouth felt itchy. knowing riddle’s sweet tooth, sometimes, you’d secretly pass your unfinished slice of cake or unfinished strawberry tart to him. riddle rosehearts, the strict, germaphobic, lowkey a dictator, heartily took it.
if it were anyone else, he’d just stare at them in disbelief. but the thought that you bit into the very sweet treat, it threw him over the moon. he’d read of indirect kisses before, in cheesy romances he read in his spare time. he doesn’t know if this is actually an indirect kiss, but don’t make fun of him, he’s still learning!
riddle has a lot of firsts, like the first time he tried that strawberry tart, or the first time he learned that playing with friends is fun, or the first time he ever overblotted, or the first time he fell in love.
you were his first love.
he turns red when alone, imagining your face and your laughter and your joy. your silly mishaps that he has no heart on lecturing you over, or your inability to understand some of the assignments. he finds all aspects of you cute— wonderful? he doesn’t know how to describe what he’d feeling, but it gets him all giddy.
he’s frustrated often, the way he started blushing violently when you ever get in close contact with him and how you always, always seem to be unaware of this. oblivion would send you to hell.
he’s been feeling quite nauseous lately, probably because of his failed attempts of clumsily sending you signals about how he feels.
it was to a point where he threw up… petals? petals…??????? oh my god, he’s throwing up petals!!!
riddle distinctively remembers reading about this during his first year, a disease of romance, love, and failure.
his heart sinks. maybe that’s why you failed to notice.
things never go his way, riddle thinks. he’s always feeling alone. every time he gets greedy for comfort, he loses it at the highest point of his life. when things are getting better, it takes turns for the worse. that’s why riddle likes to follow the rules.
by his third year, riddle’s back to being his strict, controlling prefect. except something’s different, he’s not as angry anymore.
that’s to be expected, though. ever since the surgery, riddle has never been the same.
ruggie bucchi
he has grown up to treasure everything he has.
ruggie isn’t as financially stable as others, he wasn’t lucky to be fortunate enough to get what he wants, whenever he wants.
so when he does get what he wants, ruggie makes sure to keep it close to his heart like it means everything. most of the time, it does mean everything, all of it. his life.
he hardly gives away his things (please don’t mention the kids at the slums, he’ll turn awfully shy.) and takes anything he’s given.
when you would give him the tiniest amount of food, he’d gladly snatch it from your hands and walk away snickering.
easy target for food is what you are, he thinks.
most of the time, when people give things away to him, ruggie just assumes that it’s unwanted. he’d take leftovers no problem. it’s only when you’d constantly hand things to him, always have something to give him and remember he exists, does he think you’re odd. I mean, he’s fine with taking the forgotten leftovers, but what could he possibly do when you don’t forget him?
watch ruggie clumsily fiddle around with his fingers, scanning the area for your presence. he has learned to not worry, as you always manage to come find him everyday without fail. he feels noticed.
he starts to crave for that attention.
ruggie treasures things. he keeps them close in his heart very carefully. but what would he do when you steal his heart instead? where can he hide all the things that mean everything to him?
somehow, he doesn’t mind. he wants you to see him more, ruggie bucchi, his true self.
the crave he has for you is for some odd reason, unmet. you’re oblivious to his shy antics, the way his ears turn flat when you walk away or the way he holds onto the hem of your shirt just for a second longer.
notice him.
notice him.
notice him.
when you see the way he unconsciously covers his mouth whenever you meet eyes with him, or the how he’s constantly going to the infirmary, will you finally notice him?
there’s a trail of your favourite flowers.
ruggie bucchi keeps all the special things close to his heart. when you take his heart away, how else can he express his pathetic, unrequited love? by coughing up a disease ruggie would’ve called embarrassing and shameful if it weren’t for you.
azul ashengrotto
azul is sensitive. he notices things way too easily. the tiny, insignificant details of someone and how they react, he will notice. that is how azul finds out how a person truly feels about him.
even if azul and that other person were considered close friends, azul would still notice the tiny little details that make him unlikable to them even just a little. it’s been a habit for as long as he could remember.
everyone always had something they disliked about azul. it was fine with him, that was normal. everyone dislikes everyone about anything. it’s not like it deters long lasting relationships. azul shrugs it off, it doesn’t bother him. it’s comforting, even, knowing what people think about him.
so it was obvious to say it was near-horrid when no matter how much time azul spent time with you, he could not spot anything off about you, anything that said you didn’t like him.
as much as azul notices how people act around him, he also notices other people. he knows all their flaws, their good sides and their bad sides. even if he couldn’t read your thoughts about him at all, he still expected to see something out of the norm about you, a bad trait, something that made you human.
to him, you had none.
were you god? how come you were near-perfect in his eyes? during cold months, the tips of your nose and ears would flush pink like a cute plum while azul turned embarrassingly red. he thought it was ugly and didn’t make him look good, but there nothing to prove that you thought the same. he couldn’t tell anything about you at all.
you were like a confusing puzzle piece to him. unsolvable, unreadable, flawless. perfect.
it took a while to adjust, but his unwavering respect for you turned into wavering thumps of his heart and dodging eyes. maybe you weren’t perfect after all, maybe azul just likes you.
the terrible urge to impress you grew stronger everyday.
he wanted to look as perfect as you did to him.
but how can he possibly ever look perfect,
when he is sick?
hovered over the toilet, azul clutched his chest as petals slid out of his mouth as if it were apart of him. well, it is apart of him, I guess. his love for you is one with him after all.
azul is sensitive, but he tries not to show it. not only is he good at catching the little things, he’s quick to anger or get hurt. the best he can do is hide them. so he hides the feeble emotion he calls love and comes back after winter break just as the same. he’s dutiful and runs his business like he normally would, and still hangs out with you time to time. he just feels more… empty? you’ll never know why he seems to be this way, no one really knows about the surgery.
jade leech
jade is often avoided by many people.
people find him creepy, odd, off-putting, unnerving… and more comments he hasn’t bothered to find out about.
those names don’t really bother him. in fact, he enjoys it. he loves watching people squirm in fear over something he says out of the blue. It’s exciting to watch a person try to decide if they should run away or not, unaware of jade’s capabilities.
he’s used to people avoiding him. for the sacrifice of entertainment, he isn’t all that popular. jade leech is used to it.
you were different, however.
your simply didn’t find him creepy. anything he said that was weird, you’d laugh it off and say something weird back too. jade’s height, creepy smile or the way he talks, it doesn’t seem to throw you off at all. you’d smile and wave at him when no one else dared to, you’d easily graze your skin against his and pay no mind, you’d approach him without second thoughts. It was like mutual trust, something jade has learned is difficult to find when you’re him.
so you meant everything. you were just as new and exciting, a pleasant surprise from the predicted fear everyone else has. you made him feel… seen for the first time in his life.
soon, everything you did was like a horror movie (weird analogy, I know. but it’s jade leech we’re talking about!) the intensity of when the killer would approach, or when the character is alone and vulnerable, his heart pumps like wildfire as he watches expectantly to see what the new surprise would be. his favourite feeling was when the victim would die or escape, the tightening in his chest releasing as he excitedly watches what would happen next. that was you. you were his favourite feeling.
he loves the way your eyebrows moved in expression when you talked, he loved when you sneezed and looked around expecting a “bless you,” he loved the odd ways you attempted to hold your mug comfortably and most of all, he loved you. he love you very, very much.
jade leech is used to all kinds of things. he’s used to people avoiding him, he’s used to his brother’s tendencies to groan and complain at everything, he’s used to azul’s creepy capitalist tactics.
what he’s not used to, however, are the bubbly, excited emotions he feels when he gets to experiment with his beloved mushrooms, the way you took over his thoughts like the plague and most of all, he wasn’t used to the flowers spilling out of his mouth.
this was odd, per say. jade knew of the hanahaki disease. he knew of all the downsides of it. but he never worried, because, how could he, jade fucking leech, ever love someone so pathetically?
he hoped that you’d love him back too. he oh-so deeply wished he was just as new and exciting to you as you were to him.
the blood meticulously dripped amongst his fingers, flower petals sticking to it alike. he laughed at himself. he’s always imagined that if he’d ever possibly get this disease, it’ll be flowers related to the water like lotuses or water lilies. he never thought he’d start coughing up such pathetic land-dweller flowers.
it was fine, though. jade would get used to it, eventually.
because after all, he’d rather die than stop loving you.
floyd leech
floyd is scary, he knows that. He’s quick to anger, moody, tall and intimidating. He’s doesn’t really care, though. He just does what he wants. He doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal.
he likes fun surprises, something new, exciting. he thinks you meet that of that.
you’re not as scared as others, you respond to his pranks and squeezes positively, you respect his mood swings and he even caught a few glimpses of you defending him. he thinks you’re so cute!
it’s not odd to talk about the leech twins without mentioning you. floyd follows you every and jade just goes wherever floyd goes. it’s like a little trio.
you don’t get scared like others when he gets upset, return his squeezes (hesitatingly…he hugs tight!) and find him rather silly than scary.
jade thinks you were almost made for floyd, considering how well you two get along. although jade has been with floyd the longest, he can only tolerate to a certain point for you, however, it seemed to go endless. you were so much more patient with floyd then with anyone else. although floyd made be subtle about it, he’s grateful.
floyd adored you. you were everything he loves, for he loves you.
loved you.
loved? (love)
floyd started to ignore you. you’d tilt your head in confusion— you were upset. why would your best friend suddenly act like you weren’t even there? he wouldn’t even get mad, he’d just turn the other way.
it was only so long ago when floyd was hunched over in his bed from a terrible stomach ache. jade was horribly surprised to see bloody petals staining floyd’s bedsheets.
floyd never bothered with these things. for the first time in a while, he read a book out of his own volition to figure out what it was, only to rip the pages apart when he read what hanahaki was.
childishly declaring that he loves you no more, floyd would stay away from you like the plague, whilst secretly filling his system with flowers that will kill him for ever loving someone so deeply.
floyd is gonna disappear from your life completely eventually. you’d wonder what caused your best friend to suddenly hate you, while his family mourns over the loss of a loved one, as floyd refused treatment, because he foolishly decided to love you.
kalim al-asim
kalim grew up very sheltered in a loving family. The only concept of love he has is of his parents, who hold hands tightly and gush over the cutest things. they often warn him of the danger of love, and that he must be careful about the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
kalim, although clumsy and stupid, always kept that in the back of his mind.
you were like a breath of fresh morning air. growing up knowing very little, you were the newest, most brightest experience there was. kalim was sure you were the one. he was completely sure, why else would his heart thump so fast?
he’d hug you and hold your hand, give you gifts you could never even imagine having and tell you how much he appreciates you.
kalim hasn’t gone around to mouthing the word “love” yet, but he knows that you know anyway.
so when he started coughing up petals, jamil was quick to inform the al-asim family. kalim was confused, he didn’t understand. this love wasn’t unrequited, there was no way!
it doesn’t matter, though. he’s gonna continue loving you, you and him are gonna be happy together someday, eventually. maybe not in this universe.
kalim woke up in a hospital bed, his heart heavy.
he loves you. but he forgot what that feels like. he loved you. somehow.
jamil viper
jamil is smart. he’s smart and knows his worth. this is why he hates being in second, he knows he deserves so much more.
why does he always to have do worse than kalim? why does he always have to be second place? jamil is smart enough to know his potential. he also knows how much he’s holding himself back for the sake of hierarchy. he hates it.
it’s not a surprise when jamil finds himself unconsciously doing slower than certain people to appear normal. his main purpose in life is to not stand out, hide in the shadows, survive. like predator hiding from prey because if found, it will be caught by the silly humans.
you’re completely different from him, though. you’re as normal as a person can be, yet you aim to reach for the stars and hold it close to your heart. jamil understands your desire to outshine people all to well. he’s been in that spot, is in that spot. he pities you.
so he sticks around. he’d casually follow you, hang out whenever he can, help you with assignments so you can be the best version of yourself. he’s voraciously living through you. if you achieve your goals, that’s enough for him. at least he was apart of something meaningful for once.
it catches him off guard, however, when you encourage him to reach for his goals as well. it’s like you’re holding his hand and pull him amongst the galaxies to gently place your hands onto the hot touch of a star.
he knows that’s near impossible to reach, from the moment he was born, his life was chosen for him. but he thinks he could reach the small goals.
jamil secretly pats himself on the back for grazing against your skin for a second longer than usual, treat you to a nice meal or help you ace a test. he hopes that at least one of the goals he could reach in this lifetime is to be with you.
jamil is smart enough to know that he’s not just sick. not when blood trails down his chin to his arms, as flowers spill from inside him.
he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could have something for himself for once. not hold himself back, grasp tightly to what he wants the most.
jamil is smart enough to know his own worth. he’s definitely not worth enough to you.
silver
silver likes the little things. he enjoys the way birds chirp in the early morning, or the way the dandelion petals flow against the wind as he watches you scrunch your nose and blow on it. and then both of you guys start sneezing. ah, summer pollen, a reminiscent part of nature.
he loves the way you hold your pencil, the way you like to tie your shoelaces, how you cut your sandwiches. these small, unnoticeable traits catch his eye quite often, and he’s developed a fondness for them.
he’s a man of little words. silver doesn’t talk much, so when he thinks of these things, he never says it out loud. maybe that’s why it took you so long to notice how he felt about you.
he was so calming, and so gentle, it tugged at your heart when he’d smile softly and tilt his head ever so slightly so the cute birds could carefully place a beautiful flower crown on his head. he’s so princely, you think. a perfect knight in shining armour, loved even by the nature.
often you’d tell him how lucky any girl would be to be loved by him. your comments made silver hopeful.
silver is a man of little words, he likes to spend his days watching rather than showing. when he does finally speak his true thoughts, he genuine, honest. his words roll off his tongue so easily and smoothly, perfect fit for such a princely man (as you call him)
so when silver does finally open his mouth to speak, talk, say of what he felt in that very moment, he throat closed up. maybe he was nervous, maybe he was lame, because to both of your guy’s horror, blood spilled.
he didn’t really know what was happening. only when he felt the urge to throw up in the infirmary did he realize what was going on.
he was familiar with hanahaki. his father always told him stories of how fae would love so strongly to humans who hated them, that those who were unlucky would be induced to vomiting flowers.
when silver thought he was fae, just like his sweet old father, silver swore to himself that he’ll never love a human. now that he knows that he is, in fact, human, silver starts to doubt himself. maybe is, in a way, a fae.
it’s alright, though. silver is man of few words. he likes to watch rather than show. he doesn’t mind what could happen to him, he won’t tell anyone. he’ll just watch you from afar, filling his heart with melancholy love until he reaches his end. which might be soon, for he loves you so strongly.
a.n: my phone is on 6% as I type this I will edit this tomorrow morning when I wake up. sorry for replying so late I had tests coming up and I had to study!!! </3 thank you so much for the kind comments and I’ll catch up to requests soon! feel free leave any requests :3
#twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#hanahaki#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#ruggie bucchi#ruggie bucchi x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech#jade leech x reader#floyd leech#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader#silver twst#silver x reader#twst second years#twst fic
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
Knuckle series is out!! Any thoughts? Does it affect your Jojo and Gang au?
Spoilers for the Knuckles series people! Avert your eyes children!
First, let's talk about the things I liked:
- Sonic and Tails were great for as little screen time as they had. And Maddie trying to be patient with Knuckles while also not strangling him was great, haha. As someone who worked at a Daycare, I related to her dealing with kids like Knuckles and Maddie's facial expressions when she was grounding Knuckles were on point. Also THEY HAVE A PLAIN BED FOR TAILS AND A TRUCK BED FOR KNUCKLES AHHHHH!!!!!
-Pachacamac is a Jedi Force ghost? Alright then. I don't know much about this character outside of Sonic X but I thought that he was fine. And Christopher Lloyd does a great job as usual.
-Wade was not terrible. I like how he has some character growth through the series and at the end he isn't a master warrior/fighter. He's still a goofball but now he's thinking things through and using what he has and his current surroundings to his advantage in a fight, and isn't just hiding and waiting for Knuckles to save him. But him breaking out of the cage in episode 4 was a bit ridiculous. What was that cage made of, cardboard? He really should have broken his hand or something.
-I liked the villains but I wish that we got to see them more involved in the story, especially the buyer. Who was menacing for about five minutes and then was crushed to death like, dang 0-0
-NANA WHIPPLE AND KNUCKLES SPINOFF SHOW PLEASE!!
-Knuckles was the best part of the show. He's the strong tough warrior but with a big heart and good intentions, though a bit misguided at times. Idris did a great job, nothing new there.
And now let's get into the things I didn't like:
-The show is %70 Wade bowling story and %30 Knuckles adjusting to earth and his backstory with Pachacamac and his tribe and his connection to the master emerald and everything else that the show should have been about. The Wade sub plot takes up so much time that we don't get to explore Knuckles. I wished that we had gotten to see him learn to appreciate and call Earth his new home instead of him just accepting it at the end. It just felt so rushed.
-Episode four wasn't awful but I didn't care for it. Also you can NOT show us the Flames of Disaster from '06 and not have Silver or Blaze show up. You can't do that >:(
-Knuckles and Maddie didn't get to have a heart to heart conversation which is what I and many others thought that was what the show was building up to. Also he never gets in trouble for running way and we never cut back to seeing Maddie or Sonic and Tails realizing Knuckles is gone, or even Sonic and Tails trying to cover for Knuckles. I get that the CGI was expensive and voice actor and actor schedules might not have worked out for it to happen, but my point still stands.
-Wanda was useless and you could have cut her out and lost nothing. Don't get me wrong, the actress is good but she feels wasted here. Her character is so annoying and serves no purpose other than to be mean to Wade. And why do we have to have the "siblings who hate each other but make up at the end" cliche? I would have liked Wanda more if she was nicer to Wade from the start and if they had a fun sibling bond with each other. Also if she was able to actually use her skills as an FBI agent to at least hold her own against the gang when they attack Nanna Whipple's house. Also the dad needed to be more comedically villainous, he was too generic.
-Like I said the villains here are fine but the Buyer's whole character is to just show up, have a cool robot fight, and die. We don't get to see him be a threat to Knuckles at all, he just appears for the climax and then is offed in a snap. And the two agents were fun but a lot of their dialogue was graining.
-And that leads me to the main problem with the series. The writing. I'm aware that the writers for the main movies didn't work much on this series, except Jeff did do the first episode. Which is why it's the best one. There is no balance between the jokes and the emotional moments. The show is so focused on trying to make you laugh every five minutes that it sacrifices genuine emotional growth for the characters especially for Knuckles. You know, the whole reason for the show existing in the first place. It suffers the same problems that the live action Ton and Jerry movie had, where the main stars weren't allowed to be the main stars of their film. All of the screen time there went to the human characters who weren't interesting or just plain annoying and mean.
And the dialogue for the show teeters back and forth between actually funny/well written and being dangerously close to obnoxious. And kids shows having jokes all the time isn't a problem. Rottmnt and the Lego Movies are both kid properties that fire off a joke every minute but they knew when to cut back and let the emotional moments shine. The jokes in the Knuckles show felt more like they were pandering to four year old's then actually trying to be funny and the emotional moments felt kind of forced.
I don't want to give any of the writers or anyone who worked on this show a hard time. I can see that everyone worked hard and had fun with this. And I had fun too. There were some good moments between Knuckles and Wade and even a few jokes that got me. But the problems I listed above are just to hard for me to ignore. If you liked the Knuckles series then great for you! I'm happy you were able to have a great time! But for me it was just ok.
Not great. But not bad either. 5/10.
Now, about this affecting Jojo and Gang. I think what I'll do is have comic take place a month after the Knuckles series. And use my AU to focus on Knuckles getting accustomed to Earth and learning to call it home. Basically my AU will do what the Knuckles series didn't.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was thinking about how mad day out is the band’s first big photoshoot since brian’s death. and it dawned on me.
the format--a full day photoshoot of several locations around town--is actually a call back to july 2, 1963. when dezo hoffman does a day in the life feature and takes photos of the band at 7 locations across london. those photos are used all over the world throughout the decade, so it was probably the most productive photoshoot they ever did. talk about time well spent.
the two day long shoots bear some vague similarities in location and posing choices: using gardens and streets as background and stopping by the photographer’s studio to get more formal shots. there’s even an echo of the sleepy john shots in john playing a drowned sailor at the pier.
but the largest difference is that the 1963 one was controlled, like 1963 demands from a band with one album on the charts. its normal everyday activities to introduce the boys and show how wholesome and relatable and in sync they are: sitting in a hotel room, waiting in the hotel lobby, walking down a street, visiting the tailor, eating ice cream. the jokes are kept to a minimum, the shots mostly serious and professional. they’re all in ties and proper suit shirts and pants. they still have something to prove. the most scandal is a striptease sign in the background of the rupert court shot. and maybe bananas if you’re uptight about sexy fruit (capitol records, im looking at you).
mad day out is their playground, and it’s a perfect representation of their 68 chaos. paul shows up in a pink suit and stands around looking out of place. john’s wearing all black with ruffles down his chest. ringo’s got yellow ruffles, and george has loud striped pants. they bunch together in front of a tinfoil wall with a wind machine on (perhaps the one idea that isn’t theirs and they hate it). john’s hair flies into paul’s face, and paul chomps down on it. john rubs his face on paul’s cheek, and a look of contentment crosses paul’s face. ringo wraps his arms around john in a mock couple pose, and paul suddenly looks plagued by the devil. paul awkwardly wraps himself in a pink flag, then unfurls it to hold it out in front of them for a shot but never brings himself to look at the camera. then there’s moto helmets and goggles and a bugle and ringo’s wearing a shoe on his head. at some point, they all wrap themselves in pink flags, and john rests his chin on paul’s shoulder.
they go to a theater and there’s a parrot because whimsy. the tensions still persist sans parrot with john and yoko retreating to one side of the room and paul and george in a heated conversation on the other. but at some point, they go wild over the costumes like the theater nerds they are. john goes for leather and shimmering fabrics. paul goes for animal print and loses his pants. paul bares his midriff. at some point they both end up rolling around on the ground for reasons unknown.
they go off to find karl marx’s tomb, but it’s sunday and the cemetery’s closed so they do a bit of mockery about local MP elections instead. climb up a wooden plank onto a hunk of concrete and act out a series of group hijinks, including a fistfight and possibly attempted murder. find a sign to disobey and smirk at the camera as they do it. drink water from a fountain and spit together on cue. become one with the plants in a garden because that’s what bugs do.
they make their way to a pier, where john lies like a supermodel in front of other three. john strips his shirt, so paul follows. john continues with his pants too and then thinks better of it. george steps in front of them to save the shoot from total derailment and john throws up his madman face. a still mostly shirtless j&p armwrestle, like they’re acting out glimpses of liverpool dock life. paul feels like wrapping himself in marine anchor chains. john poses like a dead sailor washed up on the pier, glasses cast aside. without missing a beat, george picks them up and throws them on.
at the end of the day, they end up at paul’s mediation dome. john uses martha as a pillow. paul stares up at the glass. george’s smile hits at the eyes.
most of these photographs sit in a drawer for decades.
#the labyrinths#mad day out#they're just weird girls your honor#1968#1963#its wild how long most of these were stuck in a drawer#the tension the gender the angst the joy this photoshoot has it all#that anchor chain sequence is definitely one of those things with a metaphor paul never ever ever examines right?#meandering thoughts#censorship#branding#callbacks#my text#i wrote this out one night after trying to figure out the picture sequence and kinda got carried away#everything relates back to something else was my point when i started this#this sideblogs 8 months old today lmaoooo so hitting send to celebrate#the photo order is as close as i can figure from those released#one day ill get all the corresponding photos linked by today is not that day
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
Idk if this is anything but Luke x unclaimed reader... you're in the same cabin and there's a small chance that you could have the same godly parent (you don't but no one knows that for sure) so it has the potential to be so wrong, but how can it be when he's making you feel so good??? It feels stepcest adjacent
MDNI 18+ ; DARK CONTENT pseudocest
w/ LUKE CASTELLAN
It's quiet in the Hermes cabin. Luke tells you it's a rare sight, being the only two people in the cabin, and from your experience in the last couple of weeks, you know he's telling the truth.
Sometimes, it was so loud you couldn't hear yourself think. But your attempt at thinking would always go to a certain camp counselor with kind dark eyes and curly hair who happened to be a few beds beside you, so maybe it was best you couldn't hear yourself think.
But now, with no one else occupying the four walls other than yourself and Luke, all you can hear is your thoughts. Loud and all encompassing desires to get Luke closer to you than he should be, his hands on your body and his lips pressing into your skin.
That and the slick sounds of you and Luke's lips sliding together. The heavy breaths taking up the in between moments.
The sheer hunger of it all.
His large hands grip your shirt. Your hands tangle in his dark hair as if you're trying to pull it directly out of his scalp. You're not using your full strength, though, something you recently had to consider with your new discovery.
You have the urge to give Luke your all. Tug at his hair and his clothes until he's bare beneath you, push and pull him in malleable ways that you know he can take. Because he's like you.
He’s a demigod, just like you. Yet he’s been claimed. He knows who his father is, while you’re left in the dark.
The reminder pulls you away from Luke’s lips. He’s quick to accept the change, busying himself with kissing your neck, his large hands pressing in the center of your back to keep you against him.
Suddenly, everything is too warm. It’s too much yet not enough. You want to get away from Luke and also meld your bodies into one so that you can never separate.
“Luke, wait.”
He stops. His head lifts so his dark eyes can look at you. There’s a crease in between his eyebrows. He’s worried about you, it’s a look you know all too well.
“What is it? What’s wrong? Am I going too fast?”
Your head shakes. Your teeth connect with the plush of your bottom lip.
Luke sighs. You can tell he instantly knows what is wrong with you. “Don’t worry about it.” He brushes his thumb along the corner of your mouth just before he brushes a kiss into the same spot.
“We’re not related.”
“But how can you be sure?”
He can’t. You know it.
Luke isn’t one to lie. Not to you. So he shrugs.
“I can’t.”
You step away from him but his hand wraps around your wrist. “But I know.” His eyes flick between yours, back and forth and back and forth, before they find your lips again.
He leans in tentatively this time, like he’s unsure if you’re going to pull away or not. You don’t. Instead, you stay completely still, only reciprocating in the softest purse of your lips against his. Sensing how uneasy you still are, he attempts to reassure you once more.
“I know in my heart that we aren’t related. Okay? Does that make you feel any better?” He's trying to be patient, you can tell, but his words are slightly too snappy. A little aggressive.
His attempts at reassurance barely calm your worries, but the thud between your thighs is becoming more prominent by the moment and you need some form of satisfaction.
“Okay,” you whisper against Luke lips before you let him take all of you once more.
He leads you back to your bed, settling himself above you where he slots a leg between your thighs. Your shirt is lifted over your head and thrown to the side, your bra straps are pulled down to give Luke more skin to work with, he starts to undo the button of your pants and at this point you’re not worried about any parental connection.
Unfortunately, Lukes words bring you back. They make you feel dirtier.
“Besides, even if we were, this is too good to stop. Isn’t it?”
Because it is.
The pleasure Luke brings you is one you fear you’ll never get from anyone else, human or demigod. Maybe it’s because he knows you so well, both of you being the offspring of Gods. Or maybe it’s because he is you. Maybe your genetic makeup is so similar that he can't help but know your body as if it is his.
The thoughts are too much for your brain to handle right now and instead of focusing on them any longer, you focus on the feeling of Luke introducing one of his lithe digits into your walls.
#cw stepcest#sort of?#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x you#lukesworld!#celeste writes misc#luke castellan smut
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
How would it have gone differently if Reader didn't try to be an "overachiever" and instead just stayed quiet and didn't interact with anyone besides Alfred until they left? Their room they left being mostly blank, with only the music journals? Giving up on trying to get their attention.
I think what's so funny about this ask, to me, is that I already have a concept like this written down (along with 3 others since the current reader I'm writing for the "Not [ ]" series is one of them but with a few missing details), so this'll be fun!
I guess it generally goes how you'd expect? Which is different for the most part, but the reader's perspective on what's happening is also different.
Granted, I would like to point out that, at least for this particular concept and the idea I have for it of how this would go, does have more stuff going on pre-Batfam that do affect how they perceive what's happening, and that's what makes things interesting in my opinion. Because someone can be naturally shy or just overall more reserved either out of nature or because they feel a certain way, but still feel bad about being neglected and, despite their lack of effort, feel that pain just as much as someone who's tried. Which is valid! Besides, someone's definition of 'trying' can vary as well.
Everyone should have a chance to have a family, and form some kind of connection with people. Just because you aren't going above and beyond for one person, doesn't mean you're undeserving of certain things. Especially not a chance to have a family, or feel like you have one. That's what I think anyway.
Nevertheless, back to the reader!
From the original concept, I will be tweaking a few things to fit the ask, but the same general outcome remains! Though again, the reader's perspective on things is a tad different. But how about this- I'll show two versions of the reader.
One that's quiet and more reserved because they gave up much earlier, or just generally hopeless really early on because maybe they felt as if anything they'd do just wouldn't be enough, who'll be accurately named Quiet!Reader. With the other being more closely related to the concept I wrote for such an idea, that we'll refer to as Waiting!Reader.
Quiet!Reader would change up things quite a bit! I won't lie!
They might already have bad self-esteem that's quick to develop at the start of things, which is something to note as that doesn't get better with time. They grow more cold and distant from the family at a quicker pace both from personal and external reasons.
Put simply, they don't feel good enough, and even if they did- anything they could do to get the Batfam's attention would never be enough in their eyes. To which, they see very early on when they try to engage and do some things with the family, only to be turned down. What doesn't help is when Quiet!Reader sees Damian get adopted and almost immediately showered with love, (compared to them) and that really cements some ideas that were already developing in their head about the family.
When Damian comes into the picture, they feel replaced. Seeing him as someone to fill in the 'youngest Wayne' role instead of them, so that Bruce and the others actually have someone to acknowledge for such a title. Just someone else to further take away the little they had.
So, they further step out of the way, glaring at the Batfam with tired eyes before that eventually stops too. Envy clawing at their heart, hatred being sent through waves of pain all throughout their body. Hurt unmatched. Yet they still remain invisible. Quiet as ever. Unnoticed. Everything they ever felt dies down, and forms a cold numbness that they begin to associate with the family.
Maybe through that, they feel closer to the family in some twisted way. Now just as cold as them. Just as talkative, and just as engaging. Almost mirroring them, but they're honest about how they feel. Honest about what they think, and therefore better. At least when compared to the Batfam- and to them, even if it wasn't a high bar to reach anyway, at least it counts for something.
It was never Damian's fault, or really about Damian at all. It could've been anyone else and Quiet!Reader would've still reacted the same way, they know that. Though just seeing the Batfam show love and care to him and not them just makes them feel... worse.
Clearly they're capable of love, and can notice new additions to the family (to which they may have mostly believed that the Batfam's neglect was just something the family did for whatever reason, and thought that them being the youngest had something to do with it for a while) and that breaks the reader. It doesn't hurt, not as much as it would've, maybe, but whatever hurt is there dies down quickly as Quiet!Reader, well, quietly accepts their fate.
The Batfam clearly wants nothing to do with them, so why should they try to do all of these things for them? It's simple, they shouldn't. So they don't. Quiet!Reader gives up, and continues to live their life without them.
The Manor just becomes a place they sleep in, and nothing else. It isn't anything close to a home, and not even Alfred can help with that.
It's because of that little fact, however, that Quiet!Reader leaves much sooner than the reader in the "Not [ ]" series. Maybe once they get a friend they can trust, they essentially end up living with said friend, hence why their room remains so empty. The notebooks they even keep in the room they have in the Manor is from when they were way younger, instead of just being from a few months ago or so. We're talking years since Quiet!Reader has touched those things now.
Maybe they do 'officially' leave a month or so before they usually would as an overachiever in the "Not [ ]" series, having only bothered to return so often before because of Alfred. Though even then, they'd forget to return most nights- only being reminded to even try and go back once Alfred would personally call them, and ask them where they were.
However now, after a while of just the time between them basically living with their friend and sleeping at the manor, they stop returning altogether. Though this time around they instead personally go to Alfred to say they're goodbyes. Not explaining much, but just saying that while they might still try to come and visit him sometimes, they don't live in the Manor anymore. Alfred already knows this, and the embrace they share fully hammers in that fact.
Yet when Quiet!Reader turns away, and leaves the Manor for good- even through the front door at that. Alfred can't help but just... miss them already.
You see, while Quiet!Reader is indeed quieter and more reserved, especially towards the Batfam, with Alfred really being the only exception, they still made music.
Maybe they didn't have as many concerts or physical, grand, live performances compared to the reader in the "Not [ ]" series, they not only started earlier, but may have actually started out on a social platform such a youtube. They really started out small, but were able to find and start their passion much earlier!
Most of what they played was when they were in the Manor, but slowly they started to get involved with things music related outside of the Manor and in Gotham- and from there were able to build themselves up even more. Hell, I'd even say that Quiet!Reader is a little more well-known and popular than the reader in the "Not [ ]" series because of the amount of extra time they dedicated to their passion.
So basically, Alfred this time around has more recordings and such of Quiet!Reader actually doing something they love than with the one in the series. However! Funnily enough, they're gone for a shorter amount of time despite having left earlier than normal.
Alfred is just, extra fed up with this nonsense, and so pulls his tricks more early on, but also make them hit harder.
He doesn't clean Quiet!Reader's room to show how long they've been gone, adding onto the emptiness and almost abandoned feeling the room itself gives off because of how bare and empty it is. They're music haunts the halls, subtle, sure, but still noticeable- especially to those who are hyper aware all the time. Pictures of Quiet!Reader and Alfred begin to be hung up, and if he can manage- some with Quiet!Reader and their friends during important parts of their life.
No one is safe from the guilt and anguish Alfred seeks to cause to not only have the Batfam look for you, but most importantly, to finally notice you.
Let's just say, things work out a little too well.
---
As for Waiting!Reader? Oh man, I've been wanting to rant about them for a while!
Unlike the reader in the "Not [ ]" series and Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader had some semblance of a life before getting adopted into the Batfam. Though the idea and character themself isn't musically inclined/involved in music, or even all that interested in music for that matter- for the sake of this ask, lets say they are!
I won't dabble too much into the life Waiting!Reader had before the Batfam, as if I do end up writing them I'd also like to keep some details vague (for the sake of leaving it up to interpretation and everything), but just know that during the time they were still with their original family, they were essentially taught that they should 'wait their turn', and eventually their parents would spend time with them and care for them. Hence the little name I've given them.
So! When they get to the Manor and are officially adopted, only to be neglected and ignored during their first few attempts- because of their young age, they immediately think "oh! they're just like mom and dad!" So they 'wait' for 'their turn', believing that eventually, should they wait long enough, they'll be rewarded with bonding and such from the Batfam just as they were with their previous parents.
This mindset changes what they do as well, as Waiting!Reader even goes out of their way to not bother anyone, or "get in the way" of whatever they could be doing. Waiting!Reader treats the situation so much like their previous home life, that sometimes they might even forget that the Batfam are completely different people from their parents. The only real difference that they can think of is that they're not acknowledged at all and it seems like their 'turn' never comes. Though for a while that doesn't get them down. The Batfam is busy like they're parents were! Waiting!Reader is sure that when things die down then they'll have their time.
... Hopefully.
I can imagine that part of the reason why Waiting!Reader holds on to hope for so long is because, again, their own parents constantly reassured them that they would have their time eventually. That if they behaved, and stayed out of the way, then they would go somewhere fun with their parents and essentially be rewarded for their efforts. They were conditioned to wait, to be patient, and just comply until those around them decided to actually take care of them, and spend time with them.
Of course, as they grow up the reality of the situation does hit them eventually, but during that time they do try.
Waiting!Reader helps Alfred around the house, and so they mostly bond over doing chores, among other things. They are also more mindful, and try to keep the amount of noise they back down— so they actually don't play at the Manor all that often, and instead play literally anywhere else. If and when they do play outside, around the area of the Manor like in the gardens or something, they make sure no one is around before even thinking of playing.
Alfred does help them break a few of their habits that they got while living with their parents, but the one thing he can't seem to 'fix' is how absolutely quiet Waiting!Reader is when they walk around. Which, as on can imagine, doesn't exactly help in a situation where the whole family, except for the butler, is neglecting you.
The amount of times Waiting!Reader has caught Alfred off guard is more then you'd think for someone that works with the Dark Knight, and his various sidekicks and such, over the years. Which does say something, sure, but it's also funny!
Regardless, similar to Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader is able to start their musical career earlier than normal, and thuse becomes a little more popular than they would originally. However, they're more known for their live performances and giving back to the community. Seemingly just like Bruce as they attend charity event after charity event, and try to do good by the people.
Waiting!Reader also does genuinely try to become a vigilante as well, but they do so in a way where they only take care of the smaller/medium guys, and leave the bigger ones to the rest of the Batfam. This is because they want to remove possible distractions for their family, and while they would try to take on "bigger guys", they don't think they're skilled enough or experienced enough to even think about it. So they don't even try. (They also don't have the same theme as the Batfam- since they don't want to 'ruin' their reputation with what they're doing or something. Which does hell them further detach themself from the family later on.)
I'd say that with Waiting!Reader, the difference between them and the Batfam is more clear to them? Like, to them, the Batfam are just so good at what they do that they have no hope of reaching them. So instead of trying to reach for them, they just do their own thing and try to help in their own way.
Because Waiting!Reader takes care of smaller guys, they are kind of closer to Waiting!Reader as a vigilante.
The best way I can put it is that while the community trusts Batman and the members of the Batfam to save their city, they trust Waiting!Reader to save their homes.
So basically- Batfam is the bigger picture while Waiting!Reader focuses on the smaller picture.
Nevertheless! Also like Quiet!Reader, Waiting!Reader actually leaves earlier. Except when they leave, they leave.
Waiting!Reader straight up leaves Gotham City to attend the college that they want to go to, in an area that has more opportunity for them, that isn't close to where the Batfam lives or patrols.
So they not only leave earlier, but it also takes the Batfam longer to find them. Especially because Waiting!Reader does still do some things in Gotham, they just don't live there anymore.
I feel like out of all three readers, Waiting!Reader definitely feels like the kind of person that someone would assume is some kind of "Phantom of the Wayne Manor," y'know?
So Alfred definitely tries to make the Batfam feel bad like he does with Quiet!Reader. Except how anyone in the Batfam is reminded that Waiting!Reader even exists, and that they've been gone for a while now is through a letter that is accidentally sent to the Wayne Manor from one of Waiting!Reader's fans. From there, some research does start and the more the Batfam learns, the more they want to go and find the reader- you know the deal.
I hope this answered your question even if I really did ramble on this time- if you'd like me to clarify anything or go into more detail on a specific part, feel free to send in an ask!
#platonic yandere batfam#yandere batfam#gn reader#sibling reader#yandere dc#yandere x gn reader#platonic yandere#yandere alfred#neglected reader#talking daydreams#yandere batman
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
what could possibly go wrong?
matt sturniolo x influencer!reader
summary: matt tries to teach his girlfriend how to play fortnite on a twitch stream, request
warnings: lots of fluff, swearing, fortnite?, some suggestive jokes, yapper! reader
“babe, come sit with me. i just started the stream. people are joining, only for you i think” matt laughed
“of course they are they love me. i keep it real and i’m hilarious” you replied pulling out the extra chair by matt’s desk and sitting down.
“okay, so here’s your controller, and i’m gonna put the headset on you so people can hear you talk.” matt gently placed the headset on you and brushed a piece of hair out of your eyes.
matt got up for a second telling you that he was going to the kitchen to get a drink. you jokingly slapped his ass on his way out. you quickly looked between the camera and the chat trying to read what everyone was saying.
“guys, you want to know what i was thinking about today?” you waited to see their responces even though you were most likely going to tell them anyway.
“so i was driving around la today, and it’s getting hot out again, so everyone’s driving their convertibles. and i drove past like four of them. all i could think about was how easy it would be to steal the car, not that im going to, but how do people feel comfortable leaving their shit open like that”
matt walked back in as you continued to rant about convertibles, “i don’t know about you but half of my life is in my car. if i had a convertible people could easily just take all of my stuff”
matt looked at you dumbfounded, “what are you on about kid?” you looked up at him with admiration on your face.
“im telling them how i feel about convertibles. look they’re mad that you interrupted me.” you pointed at the chat. they were all waiting for you to finish your thought. “this is why we don’t like men guys, they just like to interrupt and be the center of attention”
matt cut you off before you could go on another tangent. “okay, we all know they love when you come on here, but let’s play fortnite.”
you looked at matt trying to hold yourself back. you looked at the camera and gave them a wink.
“what”
“… that’s what she said”
you stood up when you noticed something on the shelf about matt’s desk.
“dude you ass is in my face, and your…boobs… are in the camera” he said awkwardly as he pulled your arm for you to sit back down. he waited to see what you grabbed.
“don’t act like it’s the first time my ass has been in your face,” you sat down holding up your space camp lipbalm to the camera. “shameless plug. go buy it right now. immediately. instantly.”
you applied the chapstick as matt looked at you with puckered lips. he was expecting you to apply the lipbalm on him but instead you gave matt a kiss with a giggle.
“okay so fortnite” matt said trying to get you back on track, blushing.
“yes yes let’s do it” you replied.
“do you know how to use the controller?”
“yes sir, i think i do”
matt looked at you with a raised eyebrow in question. you didn’t let up though, you were sure you could figure out how to use the controller in secret.
“so you have to start by picking a character.”
“i’m indecisive. can you pick for me?” you said with a smile.
“no babe, you got it just pick one.” matt said with a chuckle. he set his chin in your shoulder to get a better look.
“i’m gonna go bonkers if i have to make decisions this whole time, matt”
“no there’s just one i promise. everything else is preloaded from me so you don’t have to worry,” he leaned forward to kiss your neck lovingly.
“i love when you make things easy for me. thanks baby.” you said taking your hand off the controller for a second to lace your arm through matt’s.
matt and you had been together for a while now, and with you both having lives on the internet a lot of your relationship was public.
the fans went crazy for anything related to the two of you. they loved you guys together. you had very different personalities, but it seemed to click flawlessly. they always said that opposites attract.
while matt was more reserved, you tended to speak your mind and talk about anything and everything. you were a certified yapper and proud of it, baby. your yapping kept the fans fed on the insides of yours and matt’s relationship. consensually of course.
“okay, so you’re just going to drop in and see what happens”
“what do you mean drop in? im just letting myself fall?” you were very confused on the workings of video games.
“yep, now just make sure you aware of your surroundings”
“making sure i’m aware of my surroundings, got it. i’m just gonna run over here and see what i can find.” you drowned on.
things went smoothly for a couple minutes. you managed to stay alive and not show that you really didn’t know what you were doing with the gaming controller.
all of a sudden you heard distant shots being fired from behind you. not thinking anything of it you kept of running about.
“y/n they’re shooting at you.”
“oh! wait what? where?” you had no clue what was happening. things were going by so fast.
“turn around and shoot at them.”
“matt what?” he was trying to point to where they were on your screen. “dude i don’t even know how to shoot”
“what! i thought you said you knew how to use the controller”
“yeah well i lied” you said panicked.
“these teenage boys are probably laughing at me and that’s a scary thought. teenage boys are scary.” you whined.
you kept pressing random buttons trying to figure out how to fire back, but it was no use. you rushed and threw the controller in matt’s hands so he could take over.
he some how managed to get the kill and your player only ended up injured.
by this point you had given up on the attempts to play fortnite.
you let matt fully take over now. as he played a few more rounds you began to converse with the chat. answering questions and just rambling about some interesting topics.
“y/n what’s going on in your head right in this moment?” you read from the chat. “um, i was thinking about how i was vlogging earlier and there was a spider in my room. i simply couldn’t believe it. i trapped it, but i made matt come get it out of my house”
“that’s very true. i had to drive over there for moral support.”
“my knight in shining armor.” you smiled, looking up at him. “my handsome prince”
matt blushed from your comment as he finished the game he was in while you continued taking to the viewers. you guys decided to wrap things up 5 minutes later.
“how are you feeling now that you know kinda how to play?” matt questioned.
“i feel like i’d rather sit next to you and talk to the chat while you play then actually play myself. i think i’m more content watching you play, but it was a good experience. thank you for teaching me, baby” you kissed matt on the cheek as he began to end the stream.
“i’m gonna be honest, i was stressed for you.” matt stated.
“i was to anxious. i didn’t like having to be in high alert 24/7”
“alrighty, bye guys thanks for hanging out with us”
you blew a kiss to the camera as the filming came to an end.
“can we go to bed now,” you questioned matt as you stretched and got out of your chair.
“yeah of course we can” matt replied pulling you over to his mattress with him.
an: i hope you enjoy this. tbh i know nothing about fortnite so i hope this made sense and met your expectations 🤍🤍
#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo imagine#matt x reader#sturniolo fanfic
622 notes
·
View notes
Text
Missing Piece.
Summary: can you do conklin!reader x conrad where since she’s the oldest sibling, laurel had so much expectations for her and she held a lot of responsibility to the point where she couldn’t even enjoy being a kid. this is gonna sound sad but let’s say conrad chose belly over her but he was really just confused about what he wants which was reader but since her and belly are so similar, he chose belly and the reader had a big argument that led to her being the bad guy and all the stress caused her to just leave cousins and cut contact with everyone. Flash forward like 2 years ( reader is in college and everyone else is beginning college soon ) reader comes back to cousins and everyone is shocked to see she has a son 😭 it doesn’t have to be conrad’s i was thinking it could be like an ex boyfriends or one night stand’s BUT yeah she comes back with a whole kid and she’s so grown now. ( you can add a lil stepdad conrad if you want 😮💨 )
Warnings: Discussions of toxic family relations, mentions of unplanned pregnancy
Author’s Note: I’m sorry this is so long but I took this idea and RAN with it! Hope y’all enjoy plz plz plz let me know what you think
You always knew how your little sister Belly had felt about Conrad when you were all growing up. For as long as you could remember, she’d been head over heels for him. She laughed a little harder at his jokes, remembered a little more about everything he said. She loved him.
You weren’t exactly sure when your feelings for Conrad had started, however. He’d always just been a friend. The boy you spent every summer with as the two of you were responsible for babysitting the rest. He’d always just been Conrad. But lately that had felt like it was changing.
The worst part about it all? You couldn’t even tell him how you felt. For the fear of breaking your little sisters heart was worse than letting your own break right in front of you.
“Are you even listening to me (y/l/n)?” Conrad stretches out a leg to kick you from where he sat on the other end of the couch and you look up from your book to see him.
“Um,” You clear your throat, “No, I didn’t hear a word you said.”
He rolls his eyes at you, “I asked if you were coming to the party tonight.”
“Oh, yeah, I hadn’t thought about it,” You shrug, “Is everyone going?”
He shrugs his shoulders, “I haven’t asked everyone. I’ve asked you.”
You smile in return, “Yeah, sure, I’ll come.”
He stretches forward and grabs the book from your hands, “What are you reading?”
“Con!” You exclaim, reaching over his legs to try to grab the book from his hands, “Give it back.”
He laughs and holds it high over his head, away from your reach as you fall forward, hand catching yourself on his chest.
You look up to his eyes and he’s looking down at you with a smirk on his lips.
“Can you please give me my book back?”
“I could,” He returns, the pages still tight between his grip.
“Okay, will you?”
“What’s in it for me?”
There’s something about the way he says the words. Hoarse in his throat, almost catching on his tongue, foreign tone to hear from his lips. You feel the heat increasing in your cheeks and try to ignore it.
“Nothing, just give it back,” You groan, stretching far up enough that your fingertips brush the pages and he eventually releases the book from his grip.
You compose yourself and return to your side of the couch, trying to ignore the deep heat coursing through your cheeks.
“Hey!” Belly’s voice sounds from the doorway as she comes in, “I’m not interrupting am I?”
“No, no, of course not,” Conrad stands up quickly from the couch, “Are you ready to go?”
Belly nods, “Yeah, sure. Are you coming (y/n)?”
You force a small smile in their direction, “I’ll be there in a bit.”
“(Y/n) I really need your help tonight,” Your Mom, Laurel walks into the room in their absence, “We’ve got so much to set up for tomorrow so I’ll need your help with it all.”
You set your book down and look up at her, “Actually I think there’s a party tonight that everyone’s going to so I sort of had plans.”
She brushes you off, busy looking at something on her phone, “Well just cancel your plans.”
“It’s a party, Mom, everyone’s going,” You roll your eyes, “Can’t I just help tomorrow morning?”
“Can you please not make this more difficult than it needs to be?” She shakes her head at you, “You’re eighteen now, aren’t you too old for those kinds of things?”
“Right, yeah, eighteen is the cut off point for having fun,” You stand up from the couch.
“(Y/n) wait!” She calls after you, “I need you to go to-“
“The store, yeah, I just got the list,” You wave your phone in your hand, “(Y/n) Conklin at your service.”
Your relationship with Laurel has never been ideal. You were the oldest of the three of you and so her expectations for you seemed far beyond what she wanted from the others. She was more patient with them, more understanding. You didn’t get that. They got a childhood and you got the responsibility of looking after them. They went to the fair? You had to make sure they all came back in one piece. They went to a party? You had to be the designated driver and make sure neither of them drank too much. Something important going on? They got to be kids whilst you dealt with it like an adult. You grew up too fast and she was to blame for that - her expectations tainting any form of childhood you could’ve held onto.
You step outside and start walking towards your car, pausing when you hear the sound of laughter from the others. Conrad has Belly in his arms, lifting her up from the ground as the other boys try to grab her legs. He’s holding her tight, a bright smile on his face when he looks at her. They’d had that tradition for years. Since you were first coming to Cousins. But you were never a part of it. Because whilst they grabbed Belly and ran her to the pool, you had to help your Mom carry in the luggage and set up everyone’s rooms. Traditions, right?
“(Y/n)!” Jeremiah yells over to you when he catches sight of you, “Are you coming later? We thought we could go to the store and get some drinks before we go.”
He walks over to you and the other boys follow behind.
“Um,” You drag a hand through your hair, glancing at the house, “I can’t come tonight, I’ve got stuff to help my Mom with here.”
“Oh come on, you’re so boring,” Steven groans, “You never come to parties.”
Right, because I’m too busy picking up the slack for you and Belly.
“Yeah, sorry, Laurel’s orders,” You shrug, “Maybe next time.”
“Can you at least stop at the store and use your fake? Thank youuuuu,” Steven yells back as he heads back towards the pool.
You roll your eyes, forcing a smile to the Fisher brothers, “I’ll see you guys later.”
Conrad frowns a little at you, “You sure you’re not coming?”
You shrug your shoulders, “I’ll be designated driver, you can just call me when you need picking up.”
He smiles faintly and watches as you head towards your car, your shoulders dropping as you let out a sigh. Laurel’s orders.
———
You spend the night helping your Mom and Susannah set up for their charity event before you eventually get a text from Steven asking you to come get them.
You drive across the town to the other end and pull up in front of the house, texting them to say you’re outside.
Only Jeremiah and Steven step out though.
“Thanks for coming,” Jere smiles, sitting in the back seat, “You’re a lifesaver.”
You frown at the two of them, “Where’s the rest?”
Steven laughs, “Don’t get us started.”
“What’s going on?” You ask, glancing back in the mirror to catch Jeremiah’s face, watching as his jaw clenches.
“Conrad and Belly disappeared together,” Steven explains, “They were all over each other, and then the next minute we couldn’t find either of them.”
“So-“ You clear your throat, words seemingly catching on your tongue, “So you don’t know where they are?”
“They’re together, they’re fine,” Steven shrugs, “But god I’m dreading hearing that story tomorrow.”
You swallow the lump in your throat and lock eyes with Jeremiah who just shrugs his shoulders at you. He was your counterpart in this. Him in love with Belly despite his brother. You in love with Conrad despite your sister.
“Can we go?” Steven nudges you, “I’m starving.”
The three of you drive back in relative silence apart from Steven hiccuping every five seconds, until you reach the house and you pull up on the driveway. You make sure to shut the door quietly behind you so that Laurel wouldn’t complain in the morning and the two boys disappear into the kitchen.
“(Y/n) can I eat some of your-“ Steven calls out loudly.
You stick your head around the doorframe of the kitchen and shush him, whispering back, “Eat whatever you want as long as it’s not the food for tomorrow.”
He salutes in your direction and you roll your eyes, walking through into the lounge and collapsing down onto one of the couches. Your Mom would kill you if Belly didn’t come home tonight, and especially if you didn’t have any clue where she was.
So whilst the boys eat and reside to their bedrooms, you wait.
-
It’s around three am when you hear the door open again and two hushed voices coming through into the silent house.
“Is everyone asleep?” You hear Belly whisper and you glance up from the couch.
That’s when you see it. His hand intertwined with hers, his flannel shirt around her shoulders, both of their eyes alight.
“I think so,” Conrad hisses in return as the two of them walk towards the stairs.
She steps up ahead of him but he pauses on the bottom step, glancing into the lounge where his eyes lock with yours. You don’t look away and neither does he, so you watch as he swallows the lump in his throat, his hand dropping from its grip on Belly’s.
You look away then, turning over on the couch so that your back faces them. It’s such a quick response isn’t it? Five seconds and now your throat feels like it can’t breathe air, and your eyes are pricked with tears threatening to spill. You let out a shaky breath and grip firmly onto the cushion beneath your head, your chest feeling tighter and tighter.
———
The following morning you wake up to the sound of voices in the kitchen and you groan at the sudden realisation of how uncomfortable the couch really is.
When you walk through, it’s your brother and sister.
“She’s alive!” Steven laughs, “What happened to you last night?”
You drag a hand over your face, “I-“ Your eyes shift to Belly who’s stood with the faintest smile over her face as she sips her coffee, the look of a girl in love, “I was going to stay awake to make sure Belly got back safe but I must’ve… I don’t know, I must’ve fallen asleep before she got back.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, we were pretty late,” She clears her throat, “I mean, I was- we weren’t-“
“Come on Bels everyone saw you and Conrad together,” Steven scoffs, “You didn’t exactly make it discrete.”
“Well, I-“ Belly laughs a little, “We just-“
“I don’t think I want to hear this,” Steven groans, “Please spare me the details.”
He takes a cup of coffee from the counter and walks out, his shoulders hanging low.
You take a deep breath and turn back to your sister, pausing for a second. Something about her seems so different - like she’s a whole new person. One piece of her life fallen into place and she was… happy. You swallow the lump in your throat.
“So, you and Conrad,” You mention, your back turned to her as you pull out a pancake mix from the cupboard.
“I don’t even know how it happened,” She shakes her head, “I mean, you all know I’ve had a crush on him since I could remember and then he told me he wanted us to be together and I-“
“He wants you to be together?” You half-choke out the words, your hands feeling weak, your heart numb.
“That’s what he said,” She nods, “We still need to talk about things but yesterday seemed pretty official.”
You blink a couple of times and take a deep breath, pulling your shoulders back a little, “That’s great, Bels, I’m happy for you.”
Before you can say anything more, Conrad walks through into the kitchen, pausing when he sees the two of you.
“Oh, um, morning,” He offers a small smile, letting out a breath.
You nod in greeting, “I’m going to leave you two to it.”
“(Y/n)…” Conrad speaks quietly as you go to leave, his hand reaching out towards you.
You look up at him and there’s a shift in his eyes, a difference in the way he looks at you. Like he knows everything and nothing about what he’s done.
“Never mind,” He shakes his head.
And you’re gone.
———
You don’t see them for the rest of the day. In fact, you don’t see anyone. You go down to the beach at some point in the afternoon and swim in the flat waves and return to the house hours later with damp hair. Your Mom makes a comment about how you need to look presentable for this evening.
You’ve showered and are sat on your bed wrapped in a baggy hoodie and shorts straightening your hair when there’s a knock on your door.
“(Y/n) can I come in?”
It’s Jeremiah.
“Yeah, of course,” You shift on your seat and he steps inside.
“I just wanted to see how you were,” He perches himself on the edge of the bed, looking at you through the mirror.
“I’m okay, this event should be good,” You lie through a smile, fixing the hair around your face.
“(Y/n)…” He frowns at you, “You don’t have to lie.”
“Wh-“
“He broke your heart,” He confirms for you, “And she broke mine.”
You laugh a little, “Well that makes us sound sad, Jere.”
He smiles gently, softly, “It’s okay for you to be upset about it. You don’t have to put on that facade like you normally do.”
“I just-“ You shake your head, “I can’t be upset. I’m happy for Belly, she’s loved him since forever.”
“(Y/n),” Jeremiah waits until you turn around to face him, “You’ve spent your life being happy for Belly, it’s okay for you to let yourself once wish that you were happy for you.”
You look down at the ground and back up, shaking your head a little as tears pool at your eyes, “I just really thought it would be me.”
Instantly, Jere jumps from the bed and hurries over to you, engulfing you in his arms as you bury your head into his chest.
“I did too,” He mumbles as he runs a hand up and down your back.
“God, I’m so stupid,” You laugh, dragging your hands under your eyes, “I need to stop this before tonight.”
He pulls back and holds both of your shoulders, “You’re going to get dressed into your best dress, and you’re going to look beautiful, and we’re going to drink, and drink some more, and we’re both going to forget all about last night. How does that sound?”
You nod your head, “Okay.”
“Okay,” Jeremiah grins, “Now cheer up before you make me cry too.”
You laugh softly, watching him disappear before you let out a shaky breath, turning back to yourself in the mirror and setting your shoulders back to fix your posture.
You could do this.
———
By the time you come downstairs, the house is flooded with people all in attendance for the event. The garden doors are open and people have spilled outside, all mingling between each other as Susannah goes around to greet everyone that she can.
You take a glass of champagne from the tray in the kitchen and tip it back until the liquid empties down your throat, and you grimace a little at the taste.
“Woah, take it easy Conklin,” Steven raises his brows at you as you refill your glass, “You never drink.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a party isn’t it?” You shrug your shoulders, tipping back another glass.
“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Steven laughs.
You go to respond but your eyes fall on the pair just across the room. The girl’s fingers fixing the bow tie around the boy’s neck, her hands settling onto his chest soon after, a smile on her face. Belly and Conrad.
“They seem pretty-“
“Yeah, I know,” You respond quickly, “Made for each other.”
“I was going to say full-on,” Steven grimaces, “It’s weird.”
You shrug, “Maybe they’re happy.”
You swallow the lump in your throat and try to ignore the tightening in your chest, sure that you could leave at that sight alone.
How could you do this? How could you be normal with them when it was like this? How could you spend every day with them?
“I can’t be here,” You shake your head, “I need some air.”
You grab a bottle of tequila from the liquor display and take it with you outside, sipping from it before you’ve even got to the garden.
It’s colder as the sun is already setting but another sip of tequila seems to take the edge off just a little, and its already going to your head.
You start making your way around the perimeter of the pool, your steps a little off balance as you teeter across the edge.
“(Y/n)?” Belly’s voice calls from the doorway of the house, “What are you doing out here?”
Your foot spins you to face her and you catch sight of her at the door, a black jacket wrapped around her shoulders. The sight makes your heart sink into your stomach, churning your insides.
“Come on, Mom wants you to mingle wit-“
“I don’t care what Mom wants,” You reply harshly, swigging back the tequila once again.
“Wh- what are you talking about?”
“I’ve done my bit, okay? I’ve done more than my bit. She can leave me alone for one night,” You roll your eyes, “Just one fucking night.”
“What’s going on with you (y/n)? This isn’t like you,” She wraps her arms around herself, the jacket tightening across her shoulders.
“Is that… is that his jacket?”
The rational part of you is unsure as to why you even ask it. But the tequila is almost a third gone now, and you’re not sure the rational is what’s in control anymore.
“We- yeah, he gave it to me to come outside,” Belly confirms, “What’s that got to do with-“
“Did you know I liked him?” You interrupt.
“(Y/n) what-“
“Answer the question,” Your words are harsh, too harsh probably, “When you kissed him last night, when he told you he wanted to be with you, did you know that I liked him?”
“Come on, you know how I’ve felt about Conrad, how I feel about him,” Belly shakes her head, “This isn’t ab-“
“About me? Right, of course it’s not,” You scoff, stepping towards her, “Because god forbid things don’t work out the way Belly wants them to, right? God forbid we’re not all making sure that you’re happy and that things are going your way. God forbid anyone else get a fucking happy ending!”
You know you’re raising your voice, you can tell from the way she flinches as you speak. But that doesn’t seem to matter anymore either.
“You wanted him and so you got him. And me and Jere? We don’t matter, do we? We’re just thrown to the curb so that you can be fucking happy,” You half laugh, “I gave up everything for you, Belly. For you and for Steven, I gave up my whole fucking childhood. I couldn’t be a child because you two needed to be them instead. So I grew up, I stopped going out so I could do chores for Mom, chores that you missed because you were too busy with Taylor or at volleyball or failing your fucking classes. I did it all! I gave up everything. And the one thing it felt like I had was… him.”
You choke out the last word and feel the tears prick at your eyes.
“Conrad was the only one that understood, the only one who knew what it was like to feel responsible for your asses,” You scoff, “And… I gave that up too.”
“You didn’t give him up, (y/n), Conrad chose to be with me!” Belly defends, her voice breaking.
By now, the small crowd in the garden has started to increase to hear what was going on, people slowly starting to trail out of the door until you see the familiar faces.
“Girls, can we try doing this somewhere else?” Susannah steps outside, trying to smile for the guests gathering around.
“(Y/n)!” Laurel hisses, hurrying down to where the two of you stood, “Can you control yourself please? There are guests here!”
You look at her and let out a scoff, “My fault, of course.”
“You should know better,” She mutters to you, faking a polite smile for the people watching.
“Yeah, maybe I should, Mom,” You nod, fighting back your tears, “Excuse me.”
You step away from her and Belly and push your way across the garden, towards the side of the house, past the outdoor shower.
“(Y/n)!” Conrad’s voice approaches from behind you.
You keep walking in your direction, refusing to be interrupted until you feel the grip of his arm around your wrist, turning you around.
“Get off me, Conrad,” You pull away from him but his grip remains.
“Talk to me (Y/n)!” He exclaims, “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”
“Tell you what’s going on?” You laugh, “Like you don’t fucking know!”
“l do- What do you want me to say?” He looks frantically between your eyes, dropping his hand from your arm.
“I want you to tell me that it’s Belly you want,” You snap, “I want you to tell me that you feel the same way about her as she feels about you.”
“It’s- I mean… it’s complicated.”
“It fucking shouldn’t be!” You yell back, “You chose her, you should know how you feel about her.”
“Chose her? What… you…”
“Yeah, you fucking chose her!” You push his chest, “I was right fucking here Conrad! I was right here! I’ve always been here,” Your voice cracks and tears spill over your cheeks.
Conrad holds your hands over his chest, like he wants to hold onto a piece of you, “(Y/n) I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t know,” You step back, sniffing, “Of course you didn’t.”
“(Y/n)…” His voice trails off as he sees you, the broken version of you that he seemed to cause.
“It’s always been her, hasn’t it? She was Laurel’s favourite daughter, she was the more popular one at school, she’s Susannah’s favourite, she’s… she’s yours. And I was there to just… drive her home, cook her dinner, let her cry, buy her shit to make her feel better. I was just… there.”
He doesn’t speak, watching the way you seem to shrink into yourself at the words.
“I’m never going to be good enough, am I? For Laurel, for this family… for you?”
“(Y/n) please…”
“I’m sorry, I just… I need to…” You clear your throat, dragging a hand through your hair before you hurry inside.
———
You don’t get much sleep that night, instead running over a thousand options in your head before settling on the only one that makes any sense - that you need to go.
By five, you’ve packed up your things into a bag, checked over everything twice to make sure nothing was left behind, and grabbed your keys to head downstairs. The house is silent, and littered with the fancy aftermath of the party. You glance behind you once more and step outside, fleeing towards your car.
“(Y/n)!” Even the sound of your name rings through a trauma from the night before.
You turn around against the bright morning light to see Conrad jogging towards you.
“What are you doing?” He asks you, a frown on his face.
“I’m…” You clear your throat, “I’m just heading out.”
He looks down at the bag in your hand and his shoulders drop, “You’re leaving.”
You take a deep breath, “I… I have to Con.”
“(Y/n) please,” He reaches forward and takes one of your hands into his, “I need you to know, I- I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted that.”
You pull your hand from his grip and cup the side of his face, your thumb brushing his cheek, “Con, I know you didn’t. But, I can’t stay here like this. I can’t be here. Okay?”
He looks away from you momentarily and back up to your eyes, his seemingly losing their hope.
You brush away the strands of hair around his forehead, “I’ll see you around, Fisher.”
—— 2 Years Later ——
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Carmen asks you, perched on the edge of your bed, “I mean, seriously, how long has it been?”
“Two years,” You confirm, folding up another top to put into your bag, “And I think it’s a terrible idea, but I’ve got to bite the bullet eventually.”
“How do you think they’re going to react?” He persists, “Do you think they’ll be mad?”
“Um,” You take a deep breath, “Maybe. I think it’ll be a shock more than anything. I just, I want them to see me, you know? And, look, Jere never did anything wrong. He’s reached out to be a thousand times and I want to be there for him today - that’s all I care about.”
“And who can be mad at a little face like this?” Carmen looks down at the small bundle wrapped in his crib, peacefully asleep for now.
Your son had been born two months ago. You and Carmen had been dating through your first year of college before you fell pregnant. You’d split up only a few weeks before you found out you were expecting, but the two of you had managed to successfully co-parent so far. He came to all of your appointments, asked far too many questions, slept on the spare room in your dorm when he was worried about you, and had held your hand all through the delivery. Since then, you’d managed to both fit your schedules around taking care of your baby. He worked weekends and you worked evenings, he stayed in your dorm when he knew you needed to sleep and you both avoided a fair bit of socialising so that you could be there for your son. It worked. And, more than anything, you were the happiest you’d been.
“Alright little man, be good for Mommy okay?” Carmen lifts up your son, Kylo, from his bed, “I’ll see you soon.”
He sets the baby into his car seat and fixes the straps around his chest.
“I’ll help you get him in the car,” Carmen encourages, following behind you as the two of you leave the dorm and head down towards the parking lot.
He fixes the car seat into its slot in the car, checking it twice before he steps back.
“Alright, I’ll let you know if it’s a disaster and I’ll be driving back tonight,” You laugh a little, “And if you get an SOS text from me please put your foot down and get there as soon as you can.”
Carmen chuckles, squeezing your arm, “It’s going to be fine, okay? They love you and they miss you.”
You nod, “Let’s hope so.”
“Drive safe,” He steps back, letting you get into the drivers seat.
“Wish me luck,” You smile, waving goodbye as you reverse out of the parking spot.
It had been two years since you’d seen the Fishers, and even your own family. You’d left that day at the beach house and not returned. There were countless calls from your Mom, and Steven, and Susannah and Jere. But nothing from Conrad and Belly. You’d moved your things out of your home shortly after and moved into college as early as you could. It has been good for you.
The first big milestone was when you didn’t go home for thanksgiving. All of the family would be at Cousins and you told your Mom you couldn’t make it. The same again at Christmas. Eventually, a few months after, Laurel had stopped trying. She knew you needed your space, as much as she resented you for it. You’d kept in touch with Steven, and Jeremiah still spoke to you as much as he could. But none of them knew about Kylo. You weren’t ready for that yet. This was your son, you’d done it without them then and you could still do it without them. But he deserved to have them in his life. So, when Jeremiah had invited you to his graduation, you’d agreed.
It couldn’t be as bad as it was two years ago, right?
———
As soon as you arrive in Cousins, you stop at the hotel room that you’d booked for the two of you. Sure, you were okay with being here, but that didn’t mean you wanted to stay at the house.
You shoot Jeremiah a text to tell him you’re near and he tells you he’ll be waiting outside. You text Carmen to tell him you’re already considering turning back.
There was just something so strange about seeing these streets again, these houses, these places that held so many memories. And, as you near the water, the house that held more memories for you than anywhere in the world.
True to his word, as you pull up into the driveway, Jeremiah is waiting on the steps for you.
He hurries straight over to the car before you’ve even stepped out.
“Oh my god it’s so good to see you!” He grins, wrapping his arms around you tightly.
“You too Jere, I’ve missed you,” You squeeze him in return, “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Wh-“ His face drops a little when he catches sight of the seats in the back of your car, “Why do you have a-“
“Um, yeah,” You laugh a little, “I might’ve forgot to mention I was bringing a plus one.”
You open the side door to the back seats and unclamp the car seat from the chair, lifting it out.
“Jere, this is Kylo,” You let out a shaky breath, “My son.”
Jeremiah’s face drops, dumbfounded, “Oh m- I mean I- Congratulations! He looks exactly like you.”
You chuckle, “I’m sorry I didn’t mention him, I just didn’t know how to say it over a text.”
Jeremiah shakes his head, “Don’t apologise. Come on, nobody’s home, you can come inside.”
He takes your baby bag from you as you carry Kylo into the empty house, a flood of memories hitting you as you do. Nothing had changed here and yet everything had changed with you.
“Do you feel like you’re ready to see everyone?” Jeremiah asks, sitting down beside you on the couch.
“Not in the slightest,” You shake your head, “But I can’t wait any longer.”
“You’re right,” Jeremiah nods, “From what I’ve heard, they’re all just ready for you to come home.”
You smile, lifting Kylo out of his seat, “I’m ready for him to have a family too.”
Jeremiah wraps an arm around your shoulder and squeezes.
“Oh shit, I think that might be their-“ He stops himself, “Yeah, that’s them. Are you okay?”
You take a deep breath and shift your position on the couch, “I’m okay.”
You were far from it. You were sure your mind was racing a million miles a minute, and every muscle in your body was tense. You were sure Kylo could feel it too, whinging in your arms. Part of you wanted to run, but you’d done enough of that two years ago. Not anymore.
“Hey, Jere, who the hell is parked in the-“ It’s Steven’s voice first, “Oh my fucking god!”
He runs into the lounge and freezes instantly, his eyes widening, his mouth agape.
“Hey Steven,” You smile, standing up from the couch.
“You- uh- you…”
Your Mom, Belly and Susannah walk in shortly after, all of them stopping just as your brother had.
“(Y/n)…” Belly looks at you like you’re a piece she’s been missing, “It’s so good to see you.”
“Is this…” Laurel looks down at the boy in your arms.
“This is Kylo, my son,” You look up at her, “Your grandson.”
Her face both lifts and falls at the same time, unsure of what to say.
“Can I?” Laurel asks you, looking down at him, and back to you.
“Of course,” You hand him over, fixing his head into her arms.
Laurel gasps at the contact, smiling gently down at the boy as her eyes fill with tears.
“I’m-“ You clear your throat, no apologies, “I know it’s been a while. But a lot has changed, and I want you to be a part of his life. I want him to have his family.”
Belly steps forward and stretches her arms out to you, stepping once more to engulf you in her arms, her head burying on your shoulder.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” She whispers, sobbing a little into your neck as she tightens her grip.
You smile and hug her just as tightly back, “Me too. I’ve missed you.”
“Alright alright don’t leave me out,” Steven groans, squashing both of you in a hug of his own, towering taller than both of you now.
Belly pulls back and sniffs and you lift your hands to her cheeks, wiping her eyes.
“We’re okay, okay?” You nod at her, the same phrase you used to tell her when the two of you ever argued as kids.
Belly nods, squeezing your hands, “Okay.”
“Oh honey,” Laurel passes Kylo to Susannah who takes him with a bright smile, before your Mom turns to you, “I don’t even know what to say. I had no idea that you… I mean I didn’t even… I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
You shake your head, “It was me too. We both needed the space, right? We all did.”
She shakes her head too, “I’m just so sorry, I should’ve been there.”
You smile, “You’re here now.”
She steps forward and hugs you too, feeling so much smaller against you than she ever did before, perhaps you just feeling taller.
“You’re a Mom,” Her voice breaks against you, “I’m a Grandma.”
You chuckle and step back from her, “So much to catch you up on.”
Susannah hands Kylo over to Belly as he gets passed around to the waiting arms and she wraps you in a hug of your own, whispering something about how this family had missed you and it hadn’t been the same without you there.
But there was still one piece missing.
You sit down on the couch and Laurel and Susannah sit on either side of you. Belly, Jere and Steven all sit on the coffee table across from you as if they can’t possibly be too far away from you.
“I can’t believe you’re back in Cousins,” Belly smiles, “This is surreal.”
You chuckle, “Yeah, it’s weird. I just couldn’t miss watching Jere graduate.”
He grins, “I’m just glad you accepted the offer.”
Belly passes Kylo over to Steven who holds him as if he’s the most fragile object in the world.
You laugh a little at the sight, pulling out your phone and snapping a photo of the pair. You’d send it to Carmen later - a little sign of ‘hey, my family haven’t completely disowned me’.
“Okay, I have to ask the questions,” Laurel squeezes your arm, “How did this happen?”
“Well, Kylo was born about two months ago. I was dating a boy called Carmen in my first year of college, possibly the nicest guy ever but we realised we were better as friends. And a bit later I found out I was pregnant. He was there the whole time, don’t worry, and we’re surprisingly really good at co-parenting,” You explain, “I know it’s not conventional but, god, I think I was made to be a Mom.”
Steven laughs, “Yeah you got that from raising us three idiots,” He glances to Jere and Belly.
You grin. You’d never considered that when you were growing up. That mothering those three, losing so much of your childhood. It was setting you up for this. For mothering your own child, for bringing him up in your own way.
“He’s a pretty chill baby too,” You comment, “Like sleeps through the night, only wakes up once for a bottle. He even sits into some of my classes.”
“You’re still carrying on with college?” Laurel looks at you slightly shocked.
“Of course, I’ll just graduate with a toddler on my hip,” You beam down at your son in Steven’s arms, “I don’t need to lose my life because I’m taking care of him.”
Laurel looks at you with tears in her eyes before dropping her head to rest on your shoulder, like she’s trying to keep as close to you as she can. You don’t tense under her touch.
———
Later in the day, Jere, Belly and Steven have gone to the store for supplies and Susannah is setting up some bits for Jere’s graduation.
“Hey, do you need any help with anything?” You ask Laurel as she walks into the kitchen, “Kylo’s just had his bottle so I’m free if you need me to help.”
He’s strapped in a wrap to your chest napping against you.
“Oh god no you relax, we don’t need you to help,” Laurel encourages, “Sit down or something.”
“Come on Mom, I can help. What do you want me to do?”
She looks at you and sighs, “I think I spent 18 years asking you to do far too much, maybe I need to be making up for that.”
You clear your throat, “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“I know, I know it’s not,” She shakes her head, “I just… I don’t even feel like you’re my daughter anymore. You’re so grown up, it’s like… you’re too much of an adult to be mine.”
You nod, “Yeah, well, a lot changed.”
“I hate that things got to the point where you felt you had to leave. I mean, I know everything happened with Belly and Conrad but I was just as much to blame, wasn’t I?”
You run your hand over the wrap across your chest where Kylo lay, “I never got a chance to be a kid, Mom. Not properly. It felt like my whole life Id been running one step ahead of them all so that I could catch them before they fell, shaping my whole life around making sure that they were in line and okay and that I was doing enough for you and for them but also making sure my whole life was perfect so that you weren’t disappointed and… it was draining.”
Laurel looks at you with a pained expression, her shoulders dropping with the weight of realisation.
“I went to college to get away from every shitty feeling that all of that gave me. I got away to finally be my own person, for once in my life just think about me,” You smile, “And it was good for me. I healed. I went to a therapist, I cried, I figured out my shit. I’m a different person now but I’ll always be your daughter. And I want Kylo to have his grandma.”
“I want that too,” Laurel beams, “(Y/n) I… I know I never know how to say these things but I’m so proud of you, honestly.”
Before you can respond, the front door clicks open and your head whips around quickly, expectant of who could be walking through.
“He’s at work,” Laurel comforts you, “He’ll be back tonight.”
“I-“
“I’m still your Mom, I know these things.”
You laugh in response as the other three all come into the kitchen, carrying bags of groceries.
“Oooh here Kylo I got you a present,” Steven rummages through the bags to find what he was looking for and eventually pulls out a small brown teddy bear, “Just securing my spot as favourite uncle.”
You grin, taking the bear, “Thank you Uncle Steven.”
“Oooh, we’ve got the beer in the trunk,” Jeremiah reminds him.
“Shit, yeah, we’ll be right back!” Steven says and both of them hurry back out.
“Beer?” You raise your brows at Belly.
She laughs, looking down at the bags, “Yeah, Steven managed to get a fake.”
“Of course he did,” You shake your head, “Want some help unpacking?”
“No, no, I got it,” She encourages, “You’ve got your hands full.”
You wiggle both of your hands in front of her, “The perks of this thing is that both of my hands are free, Bels. Don’t tread on eggshells around me, honestly.”
“Okay, this one is light,” She pushes one bag towards you.
Both of you potter about in silence putting away their food and it’s as if neither of you wants to break the comfortable quiet. This was the most time you’d spent together in two years, and you felt like strangers to each other.
“So, how’s everything going with you?” You ask her, turning back to the kitchen island.
“I’m good,” She nods, “I’m not…” Belly clears her throat, “I’m not seeing anyone.”
You laugh, “Did you not know how to tell me?”
She smiles and hits your arm, “It’s awkward, okay?”
You chuckle at your sister, somehow catching such a glimpse of yourself in her expression.
“We actually… me and Conrad… we ended things not long after you left,” Belly clears her throat, “It was for the best.”
“Bels I didn’t…”
“Don’t worry, it wasn’t because of you. I just think Conrad never really knew what he wanted, and maybe I didn’t either. I thought I was in love with that boy since I could remember, but I don’t think that was love. It was just the idea of him.”
You nod, “Well, younger Belly would probably thank you for figuring that out. But, tell me, is there anyone new on the scene?”
Before she can respond, the boys come tumbling in the front door again and you watch her eyes follow Jeremiah as he moves towards you both. There’s a brightness in them, one you’d only seen in your own when you were with Conrad. That was the feeling she was looking for.
“Jeremiah?!” You mouth to her and Belly widens her eyes at you in warning to not say anything more.
You raise your hands in surrender but give her a somewhat approving look, one that makes her cheeks ignite.
This was a pocket of home that you’d missed. One you didn’t realise you needed. Your siblings, this house, your family. It would always be important to you. And something about it felt even more magical now that you got to experience it with Kylo.
———
You find yourself focused on the sound of the door as if you can wish it to come sooner. Though you’re not sure why. You want to see him but you have no idea what to say to him. You have so much to tell him but you’re not even sure he’ll want to see you. Did he still hate you? Had he ever hated you? Would he hate you for not being here, for leaving?
You busy yourself with fixing the blanket in Kylo’s car seat. Jere and Steven had just gone to collect your stuff from the hotel - you’d agreed to stay at the house now.
And then it goes.
The sound of keys in the door, the door closing behind a familiar pair of feet. Rushed steps up the stairs, a left turn until they’re coming towards you.
And then your bedroom door opens, and a single figure stands in the doorway, slightly breathless.
“I saw your car on the drive.”
You stop in your tracks, the car seat behind your legs.
“I saw your car in the drive and I-“ Conrad begins again, “You’re home.”
You don’t have a chance to respond as he strides over and hugs you as if you’re a lifeline. His head buries into you and his arms around you as if he’s been needing you for years. His eyes are closed against you and you feel him inhale as if your presence had knocked every breath from his lungs.
And for a moment you’re frozen.
Until your arms kick into gear and they throw themselves around him too, holding him just as tight like you’re the only things holding each other up.
You feel him shift against you, that sort of shocked pause.
“(Y/n)…” His voice is quiet as he pulls away from you, “Is this…”
You step to the side to let him go past you as Conrad crouches down to the floor, his whole body cautious.
“This is Kylo.”
“Kylo,” Conrad grins, “You always said that’s the name you wanted for a boy. Do you remember? When we went to the boardwalk and there was that name on the-“
“The leaderboard for the go karts,” You grin, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“I can’t believe you did too, you stuck to your word,” He smiles, talking softly as if he doesn’t want to disturb the tiny bundle looking up at him.
Conrad’s fingers are at either side of the car seat and Kylo reaches up to grip onto his thumb. Con laughs like a sort of gasp, as if it is choked in his throat.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” He half-whispers the words and you’re not sure at first if it’s to you or to the boy in front of him.
But you settle on it being both.
Conrad looks back at you and breaks into an even wider grin, standing back up, “Can you just… tell me everything.”
He sits himself down on your bed and you sit down beside him. And this is it. This the final bit of home you were waiting on.
You and Conrad. Him and you. The piece you’d been waiting for.
———
The following morning, you’re up early with Kylo. You carry him downstairs and go about fixing up a bottle for him, the two of you resting on the couch whilst he drinks.
There’s a text from Carmen on your phone.
Hope they don’t hate you too much x
You shoot back a quick response of reassurance and send him a photo of Kylo smiling at you from last night.
Just as Kylo finishes his bottle, there’s a sound from the stairs creaking as someone comes down.
“Morning,” It’s Conrad, dragging a hand over his eyes as he does.
“Hey,” You return softly, “Why are you up so early?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” He grumbles, still in a half asleep state.
He drops down onto the couch next to you and smiles at Kylo, reaching out a finger to tickle his chest.
“Hey, could you do me a favor?” You ask him, “I need to change his diaper but the bag’s upstairs.”
“Yeah sure, what’s it look like?”
“It’s a black one, not the one with the handle but with the straps, and it’s like-“ You pause as you notice him watching you more and more confused, blinking at your explanation, “Okay, I’ll get the bag. Can you just watch him for a second?”
“That’s much easier,” Conrad grins and shifts on the couch so that he can hold the baby in his arms.
You stand up and head towards the door, hurrying upstairs to find the bag.
When you come back down, Conrad has Kylo stretched across his legs, his little feet hitting Conrad’s stomach and his head resting against his knees. He’s smiling down at him and Kylo grins tiredly up, giggling when Conrad tickles under his arms.
“You’re a natural,” You grin, coming down to sit beside him.
He looks up at you and raises his brows, “You think?”
“Well, he seems to like you,” You point out, not wanting to disturb the moment between them.
Conrad wiggles his hands beneath Kylo’s head and lifts him up, looking at you, “Where do you want me to put him?”
You snap back into reality, “Oh, right, yeah I’ve got a mat.”
He lowers the baby down onto it and then looks at you like he’s awaiting further instruction, “Come on, tell me what to do.”
“You want to change his diaper?” You laugh, “I can do it.”
“I’ve never done one before. I want to learn.”
“Alright, here,” You hand him over the wipes and a fresh diaper.
He’s far too slow when he starts and Kylo starts to wriggle on the mat, impatient of course.
“Does this thing not stay still?” Conrad grumbles, tongue between his lips as he concentrates on the task, his face grimacing just a little at the state of the dirty diaper.
“Put that one in here,” You hold out a diaper bag for him to dispose of it, “Alright, now wipe and new diaper. But make sure he’s covered - he’s a boy so that stuff can go everywhere.”
Conrad’s eyes widen as he takes your instruction, fixing the new diaper on - just a little wonky.
“There we go, fresh as a daisy,” He grins proudly at his accomplishment, “I think I could be pretty good at this.”
“Well that’s task two - making him laugh being task one,” You nod, “Not bad, Fisher.”
He lifts him back up onto the couch and lays him down beside you, Conrad sitting on the floor just in front of him like he’s already prepared to catch him.
He lets Kylo grab at the end of his hoodie, laughing at him before he turns to you.
“So, how does it all work? Are you… with someone?”
You shake your head, “We split up before I found out I was pregnant. But we’re really good friends, so it works. He helps out a lot.”
Conrad nods, “Well that sounds healthy.”
“What can I say? I’m mature now,” You joke.
“I think you always were,” He scoffs, “Especially compared to the rest of us.”
Both of you fall silent again and Kylo fills the space by gargling in some form of baby talk.
“What about you?” You clear your throat, drawing your legs to your chest on the couch, “Are you seeing anyone Mr Stanford?”
He scoffs, looking down at his hands, “No, no, I think I needed to stay away from all that for a little while. Clear my head.”
“And did you find anything in that clarity?” You taunt, yearning for the same connection the two of you had so long ago.
He looks at you for a second and pauses, “I guess I finally figured out what I want.”
For a brief moment you’re drawn to him, something in those eyes and that voice. But you tear yourself away.
“Well I’m glad the break was worth it,” You smile, looking away from him, “Sometimes that’s all that you need.”
You look down at your son and feel the same swell of pride you had when they first handed him to you in the delivery room. The same realisation that this was it now - this was everything.
“You know this place changed when you left,” Conrad comments, “And it’s changed again now you’re back.”
“Yeah, well, I always had that effect,” You wiggle your brows jokingly, lifting Kylo up from the couch to rest him on your lap.
Conrad pushes himself up to sit on the couch beside you and both of you fall silent in the seemingly empty house. He watches you with Kylo and is sure for a second that he’s looking at someone else. But it’s you. The one that was always made for this.
“I’m sorry if I-“
“I’m sorry if I-“
You both speak at the same time and look at each other with hints of smiles.
“You first,” Conrad encourages.
You take a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t be with Belly. She told me you guys ended things not long after and I just hate thinking that I was… I don’t know, that I ruined things,” You shake your head, “I know it was forever ago.”
“You didnt ruin anything. Me and Belly… we… I think I always knew that she liked me. And I just, I hated the thought of breaking her heart. Like it would be my fault if I didn’t feel the same. And that night, I don’t know what it was, I just convinced myself that I could feel the same as she did,” He takes a deep breath too, like both of you are fighting for air against tightened chests, “But we’re must better as friends, we both know that. And I’d never… I never did… feel that way about her. I was just confused.”
You nod, “Now you go.”
“I’n sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough,” Conrad exhales, “Because I know that’s how you felt, and I never ever wanted you to think like that.”
“Con…”
“Im serious (Y/n),” He shifts in his seat so that he’s facing you properly, “I was younger and naive and I knew that I liked you and I just… suppressed it. Because I knew if I started anything with you then I’d want that to be it, and I wasn’t ready for you to break my heart.”
You laugh a little, your eyes pricking just slightly with tears, “You think I’m a heartbreaker, Fisher?”
Conrad smiles, his cheeks flushed a little, his muscles visibly relaxed from what they were. He’d missed this. You, the way you knew him, the way you read him. He’d missed it all.
———
“We’ll watch him, you can go and shower,” Belly assures you, “And I’ll make sure Steven doesn’t do anything stupid.”
You’d spent the day in and around the pool with Belly, Steven and Jeremiah whilst Conrad had gone to work. They’d bought a float for Kylo at the store and were all impatient to use it - taking a thousand photos of him with his hat on laying back in the float.
“Alright, well just shout me if there’s anything,” You encourage, “I’ll just use-“
“(Y/n),” Steven says in a calm tone, “Relax, we’ve got him, I promise.”
You nod and step off of the lounger you’d been on, walking around the side of the house to where the outdoor shower still stood.
This place. It held memories you’d wanted to forget.
Before you step in, your phone starts ringing and you glance down to see Carmen’s contact on your screen, you accept the call and press the speaker button on your phone.
“Hey (y/l/n), how’s it going?” He says as soon as you pick up.
“It’s going well, yeah,” You turn back around to the garden where Belly was holding Kylo in her arms, “They’re all so excited to meet him.”
“Do they know about his super cool, super helpful, super present Dad yet?” Carmen taunts.
“They do,” You chuckle into the microphone, “They’re glad I haven’t been doing it on my own.”
“Yeah, well, they would’ve known that if they tried-“
“Carmen,” You sigh, “Less hating them, yeah? It’s going well.”
“Okay, you’re right, but I’m still not their biggest fans,” He comments, “What about the long lost love of your life?”
“Oh my god will you stop?” You widen your eyes at his words.
“Come on, I know that’s who you were most nervous to see,” He returns, “How’s it been? Do you still… you know, feel that way about him?”
“I-“ You glance down at the exact spot you’d been stood in two years ago, when you’d told Conrad the truth, “It’s Conrad, you know? He makes me laugh and he listens to me and he feels like… it feels like the piece of me that I’ve been missing.”
Carmen laughs, “And I’m guessing you haven’t told him that.”
“I already ruined things with that boy once, I can’t do it again.”
“Ruin things? (Y/l/n) I think you’d be telling him what he’s been waiting to hear for two years.”
Before you can say anything, the sound of a twig snapping behind you makes you jump from your thoughts and you turn around to see Conrad stood just metres from you.
“Um, Carmen, I have to go,” You stumble over your words into the microphone, “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Wear protection!” He yells down the phone before you hang up, your cheeks flushing bright red as you look back at Conrad.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to-“ Conrad mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck, “I just got back from work.”
“Right, yeah, of course, how- how was it?”
“Good,” Conrad nods, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “I didn’t mean to listen in, or anything. I just… I don’t even normally walk this way, I don’t know why I did but I thought I could hear people and so I thought maybe you were outside, not that I was looking for you, but well I was-“
“Con,” You interrupt, “It’s okay.”
He smiles, taking a second to breathe, “That was Carmen?”
You look down at your phone in your hand, “Yeah, just calling to check how I’m getting on. It’s the first time he’s been away from Kylo too.”
Conrad nods in understanding, “Yeah, of course, I bet that’s weird for him.”
“Yeah I don’t think I could ever leave Ky now, it’s a parent thing, I guess,” You scratch at a patch on your arm as the nerves seem to overtake you, “I should probably… you know, I need to shower before tonight and I-“
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you get on,” Conrad raises his hands and goes to step past you as you step into the booth of the shower.
You don’t make any move after that, thinking of every single thing you could’ve just said to him. How two years ago every word came to you all at once and, now, you can’t find a single right word to say. You feel your bottom lip tremble just slightly at the thought of everything you could’ve just told him but you shake it off.
“Hey, (Y/n),” Conrad’s voice speaks from the exact spot you’d just left him in, “What did he want you to tell me?”
You feel every bone in your body freeze at those words, practically sending a shiver down your spine. Your hands go numb, your eyes glazing over, your throat seemingly closing off any words.
As you turn around back to the entrance of the shower, there he is. Stood on the path with a look of hope in his eyes that you thought you’d never see again from Conrad.
“What did he want you to say?” He persists, eyes burning into you.
You exhale deeply, the tension in your shoulders dropping as if you’ve lost hope, “That I never should’ve walked away from you that night. And I hate myself every day for not fighting for you more, for not standing there and telling you that I’d wait for you. I’d wait for you in every life if that’s what it took for you to realise that you loved me. And I know I shouldn’t and I know it’s different now because I have a son and that’s complicated and you don’t have to want that or feel like you have to-“
He strides forward then, his hands coming up to cup either side of your face, his lips crashing into yours as if they’re returning home for the first time in forever. It’s messy and rushed and heated but neither of you care, both relaxing into a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Your hands grip at the material of his t-shirt like you’re convincing yourself that he’s real. And he is. It’s all real.
Your lips pull away first, rushing to catch every ounce of breath that had just been knocked from your lungs.
“I’d wait for you, (y/n). In this life, the next and the next after that, I’d wait for you too,” Conrad confirms, his eyes searching in both of yours, “This is it, okay? This is what I want, it’s what I’ve always wanted.”
You let out a laugh, somewhere verging on a sob as every emotion of every missed day seems to come out of you, “We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
Conrad smiles, his hand moving to your chin to pull you into his lips once more.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” He mumbles just millimetres from your lips.
“I think I have some idea,” You return with a smile, kissing him quickly.
This was it. In this life, the next one and the one after that - this was where you could be truly happy.
#tsitp#the summer i turned pretty#conrad fisher#conrad x reader#conrad x you#conrad x y/n#conrad imagine#conrad one shot#conrad drabble#conrad blurb#conrad fisher x reader#conrad fisher x you#conrad fisher x y/n#tsitp imagine#tsitp one shot#tsitp drabble#tsitp blurb#tsitp request
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Yeah I just got a idea for a scenario, if you don't want to that ok. date night with lucifer playing untitled goose game, I know it's not ducks but would still be funny 🤣
Playing the Untitled Goose Game with Lucifer🪿
Fluff, Lucifer being a boomer
Lucifer x Reader
Lucifer was working on one of his dozen duck’s creations.
He was too deep into his work that he didn’t sense you coming from behind.
You called out his name and he was startled at your sudden presence that he jumped up from his seat.
The duck flew out of his hand flying into one of many piles of little ducklings.
Dumbfounded he looked at his hands, “… My.. DUCK!”
You watched guilty as Lucifer threw himself right after it, searching for it.
After a while he came back up, “She’s gone…” He pouted, “Well, just going to make another one.” He stood back up fixing his hair and his tuxedo.
“Luci?” You called out for him, he completely forgot that you were standing there.
“Oh- OH! Hello Sweetie!” In a blink of an eye, he had you in a death grip, hugging you closely against his body.
He stepped back and gave you a wide smile. “Next time please knock, you scared the shit out of me.” He laughed nervously and looked up to you with his loving eyes.
His eyes travelled on your hands which were hiding something behind your back. “What do you have there.” He pointed at your hidden hands.
Remembering why you were here in the first place, you smirked and pulled out a game named “Untitled Goose Game”.
Lucifer looked at you confused.
“A game?” You nod furiously. “Can you please play it while I watch? Like a little date?”
After a while of being in a relationship with him you found out that he hates TV, and everything that came with it.
He had an old Tv and it barely worked. For you he made an exception and bought one of those newer Flat Tv (The newest).
When you found that game you just knew you must play it with him.
It was a game about a Goose?!
Who doesn't like Geese?
Lucifer sighed, “You know I don’t like any Tv related things. Maybe something else, for tonight?” He asked nervously, fidgeting with his tuxedo.
After minutes of Arguments, you both were sitting in couple duck pajamas on the Couch.
You two were cuddled up together and he had you in his Arms.
He didn't look impressed at all.
He agreed to play that game with you if you wear couple pajamas, he bought few weeks ago.
And you gladly accept.
You explained to him the main controls of the controller and he started to curse:
“Why is this so complicated?”
“Why doesn't it work?!”.
“You’re being so dramatic.” You said and Lucifer glared at you. “Here you can move the goose.” You moved the link stick to show him.
You danced in Victory when you saw him playing after minutes of rage.
Finally he pressed the right buttons.
With sparkling eyes, he walked around as a goose in the game he was already obsessed.
He moved the goose easily around the game and he honked at almost everything in the game.
It was so adorable.
He loved this game.
Even though he rages every time someone shoos him away.
Once he even tried to throw the controller at the human in the Tv. you managed to stop him just in time.
He was very pissed at the humans in the game screaming every second: “Let me through!”
"How dare they not let me pass?! I'm the king of Hell!" You stroked his back, calming him down. "It's just a game."
It was a simple, stupid game but he loves everything about it.
And he’s secretly thankful you bought him this game.
He squealed like a child who got a Lollipop when he discovered he could swim in the little lake.
Even when you fell asleep and woke up in the morning after you saw Lucifer still playing the game. Fighting with the urge to go to sleep.
Maybe you changed his mind about Video games and Tv with this little date night.
He finally did something else than working on his hyper fixation about ducks.
But now he started to also make rubber Gooses.
A/n: I hope this meet your expectations! I completely forgot about this game's existence💀.
💫
@i-have-no-life-charlie @sirenetheblogger
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#shapard#request#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer x reader#untitled goose game#Lucifer scenario#scenario
413 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Younger Kind Part 22 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Now that Bradley has you with him, he never wants you to go. But the stress from Meredith and Penny still hangs between the two of you. And the only think that seems to make sense to Bradley could be taken from him.
Warnings: Angst, swearing, smut, fluff, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4800 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more!
You were finally in Bradley's arms. Aside from your hangover and banged up knee, you seemed no worse for the wear. Just a little shaken up from those assholes taunting you last night. As he leaned back against his headboard, you were curled up against his chest wearing his favorite sweatshirt.
"I love you," he whispered again, rubbing the bare skin of your back and waist beneath the sweatshirt. You hadn't returned the sentiment, but it didn't matter. You just snuggled a little closer to him every time he said it to you.
When your stomach growled, you looked up at him and laughed softly. "Come on," he said, kissing your forehead as he withdrew his hand from your soft skin. "I'll make you breakfast."
Now you were looking at him with concern as you straddled his thighs. "You'll make me breakfast? Sorry, but I'm not going to eat anything you cook."
Bradley tipped his head back and started laughing. "You got me there, Princess. But I can get you a bowl of cereal."
You just shook your head and slid off of his lap, taking his hand in yours. "I'll make you breakfast," you told him, looking back at him over your shoulder as he followed you down the hallway. He'd follow you anywhere today. Do anything you wanted to do. As long as you kept him with you.
He turned on the coffee maker and pulled two mugs down as you bent in front of the refrigerator. Your bare legs and his oversized sweatshirt made him feel weak. You handed him some eggs and the gallon jug of milk. "Do you have cinnamon?" you asked as he set the milk and eggs on the counter.
"You don't actually have to make me breakfast," he whispered as you kissed his chin.
"I'm hungry for French toast," you told him, so he located the cinnamon for you. Then he watched you work, helping with everything you asked him to. And when the kitchen smelled like cinnamon, and there were slices of bread sizzling on the stovetop, Bradley handed you a mug of coffee.
"Can you help me with something on my phone?" he asked softly, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you sipped your coffee and flipped a piece of bread.
You set down the mug that said Aviators Look Down on Others and glared at him over your shoulder. "If you ask me to delete another dating app, I will rage. Do you understand me?"
"It's not that," he promised.
"Well, then what can I help you with, old man?"
Bradley couldn't help but smile at your words as he ran his mustache along the side of your neck. "Help me change this." He tapped on your contact name which was still listed as Babysitter. He deleted that word as he let his chin rest on your shoulder, making sure you were looking at his phone. Then he typed out My Princess before he opened his photo gallery.
"It doesn't look like you need my help," you whispered as he scrolled through all of his pictures of you and Noah and the occasional one related to something at work. "Oh wait, yes you do," you said, pointing to the dirty pictures you had sent him. "You need to save those in a private folder, Daddy."
He was beyond delighted that you had just called him Daddy. "That's something else you can help me with," he murmured, scrolling further until he found the first selfie you sent to him. The one where you were wearing your purple crown. He set it at your contact photo and kissed your cheek
"Give me that," you told him after you flipped the pieces of French toast again. He handed you his phone and watched you move all the dirty photos he loved so much into a new folder that you labeled Princess. "And you can enter the passcode when you want to look at them," you said as you saved today's date as the four digit code.
"Why did you make it today's date?" he asked as you spun to face him and pressed his phone to his chest. He grabbed it as you let go and wrapped your arms around his neck. You kissed him hard, devouring his mouth as you sighed softly. Bradley tossed his phone onto the counter next to the mugs and let his hands slide up your sides beneath his soft sweatshirt.
"Because," you told him between kisses, running your fingers up into his hair and looking him in the eye. "Today's the day you told me you love me."
"Baby," he moaned against your lips, reaching behind you to turn off the stove burners.
You kept your body snug against his, even when you let your hands trail down to the bottom of his undershirt and whispered, "Daddy."
You peeled his shirt off, finally letting him feel your hands everywhere. "Please. Let me take you back to bed." He had never been intimate with you there, but he'd been dreaming about it for a long time. Hell, last night was the first time you and he had a real sleepover. The first time he got to hold you all night.
Immediately you started pushing him toward the hallway, and he hoisted you up into his arms as you squeaked. "I got you," he promised.
-------------------------
There had to be something wrong with you, because you couldn't physically stop smiling. Bradley had taken you to his bed, set you down gently right in the middle of it, and started kissing you everywhere. His sweatshirt was pushed up to your breasts, his big hands squeezing your sides while he kissed the spot just below your belly button.
You were panting softly, and you could tell how wet you were by the way your lace underwear clung to you. But he seemed to be in no hurry, so you just let him keep it up. Lips and mustache found your injured knee, and he kissed all around the bandage before gently guiding your leg over his shoulder.
"I've been dreaming about this," he whispered against your inner thigh. When his fingers teased along the elastic of your underwear, you thought he was going to remove them, but he just kept driving you crazy instead.
A soft laugh bubbled out of your lips. "You dreamed about rescuing me from frat boys and having your way with me?"
"No," he grunted, easing his large body over yours, while you kept your leg on his shoulder. You could feel his hard cock rub your core through both of your underwear, and you pressed up against him. "I dream about having you in my bed. Having you all to myself. Don't get me wrong, I love sharing you with Noah," he mumbled, pushing the sweatshirt up and palming your tits with his massive hands. "But when you're like this, you're all mine."
As your back arched off the bed, Bradley's lips met your nipple, kissing and caressing you like nobody else ever had. "Daddy," you whispered before your eyes fluttered closed.
"All mine," he muttered, licking the valley between your breasts before sucking on one nipple and then the other.
You cried out for him, your hands grabbing at his biceps and shoulders before threading through his messy curls.
"You're so fucking sensitive, Princess."
You definitely were for him. Because he knew how to touch you. He knew how to love you. He was good at all of it.
"Bradley?" you gasped after he had worked your nipples into tender peaks. He whispered your name, the bristles of his mustache rubbing you just right. You were clenching around nothing. He hadn't even undressed you yet. And now you were in trouble, because he could tell how far gone you were as he whispered your name over and over again.
You rubbed yourself up against his cock as he pressed his lips to your ear and moaned, "I love you, Princess. I love you."
There was little doubt in your mind that you could cum for him just like this. He loved you. And you loved him.
You were soaking wet as he slipped his hand inside your underwear and groaned. "You make me insane," he informed you gruffly, wasting no time before slipping his middle finger inside you.
"Bradley!" you cried as he stroked your clit with his thumb and fucked you with one, thick digit until you were propping yourself up on your elbows to get to his lips. You kissed him, and he devoured every noise you made. "I'm so close, Daddy." When you let your head tip back, his mouth found your breasts again. You were close to overstimulation as he removed his finger from inside you and rubbed his fingertips across your clit until you were nearly crying.
It took you a second to realize that your legs were shaking as he sucked on your breasts. You were about to cum as soft grunts mixed with your deep, erratic breathing. "Oh," you gasped, and then he was mashing his lips to yours, pushing you back against the pillow. "I'm coming," you whined into his mouth.
Then you were shaking everywhere, his fingers slowing down and applying less pressure until you moaned his name so loudly, you should have been embarrassed. Your panties were absolutely soaked, and it felt like you were laying in a puddle as Bradley tapped your clit with his fingertips.
When you met his eyes and saw the desire there, you knew what had happened. "Did I squirt again?" you asked softly as you caught your breath. Bradley brought his damp hand up to his own mouth and licked his palm before running his index finger along your lips.
"You did," he whispered, letting you kitten lick his fingers. You tasted good on his warm skin, and you were no longer embarrassed. Because he looked so turned on right now. You could see his cock straining against the fabric of his underwear, could feel him pulsing against you. When you sucked two of his fingers into your mouth, he started bucking against you, and you looked up at him.
"Don't look at me like that," he rasped, pushing them a little further into your mouth. "You already know you own me."
You moaned around his fingers before he pulled them free and kissed you. Then his sweatshirt was on the floor along with your soaking wet underwear. You watched the graceful way he removed his own underwear as you sat up.
"Come here," you commanded, and he did as he was told, kissing you and wrapping his arms around you. You told him where to touch you, and he did. You told him everything you wanted, and he did that too. You were already a mess again as his thigh rubbed your core. Already whimpering his name.
"You gonna let me make love to you, Princess?" he asked, spreading your legs a little wider and coaxing you flat on your back.
"Yes," you whispered when you felt him at your entrance.
"A little louder," he said, pressing against you with delicious pressure.
"Yes!"
He was steady and meticulous, sure that you liked everything he was doing before he went a little harder. He checked in with you until you could barely answer him, because everything felt too good. Your fingers were digging into his biceps as your lips skimmed along his neck, licking at the salty sheen on his skin. He was chanting your name like a prayer as he moved with such precision, you weren't sure you'd ever be able to orgasm without him again.
Bradley was loving your body with his. He chased your lips for more kisses every time you needed to take a breath. His rough hands were so sure of what you needed as he touched you seemingly everywhere. And interspersed among the sweet sound of your name, he told you he loved you. He used his voice like a tool in tandem with his perfect body until you were squeezing his cock tight.
You felt wrung out and exhausted, barely able to control yourself as your fingers went loose on his arms. You sunk back in the bed, keening for him as your orgasm washed over and through you. And then you watched him, neck straining as his strokes grew shorter and more irregular. You pulled his mouth to yours as he came for you. He tasted so good as he let his hand gently grip the back of your neck, his thumb stroking your jaw.
"I love you," he breathed against your lips. His voice sounded as broken as you felt as he collapsed mostly on top of you. You held him close with your hands in his hair, and his cock still buried inside you.
"I love you, Daddy."
---------------------------
Bradley smiled the whole time you and he argued about doing laundry. You were adamant that he wash your underwear along with the bedding, but he kept telling you he liked the way they looked on his bedroom floor too much to do that.
Finally you scooped them up and said, "I'm sure if you really want to, we can soak them again," and then took them and his bedding into your arms. "It's not like you don't know how to make me squirt."
Then he watched you parade out of his room, your naked backside swaying beautifully as you went. He just stood there and exhaled as he ran his hands through his hair. He was certain he had the dumbest look on his face.
You loved him.
"Good thing I like cold French toast," you said with a laugh as he sat down completely naked on one of the kitchen chairs. You were also naked, plating some breakfast which was definitely becoming lunch.
"I like anything you cook," he mumbled, eyes glued to every inch of your body as you turned and set down a plate in front of him along with maple syrup and two glasses of orange juice. "Mind grabbing my phone?" he asked, watching as you picked it up from where he discarded it earlier.
"Here you go, old man," you said quite loudly. "Can you hear me? Do you remember your pass codes? Or do you need a refresher?"
"You know, I have a bag of Skittles for you, but I think I'll just eat all of them," he said, pulling you down onto his lap and opening up a playlist on his phone.
"You would never," you gasped. Bradley was laughing, but you actually seemed scandalized.
"No, I wouldn't," he promised, kissing your shoulder as you settled back against him. He played his favorite song, the one that reminded him of you while you cut up the French toast and drenched it in syrup.
Bradley watched you lick some syrup from your fingertip as you said, "I made a playlist for Noah. A bunch of kid friendly songs. He loved it." You took a bite of food and turned to smile at him while you chewed.
"That was sweet of you," he rasped as you fed him a bite. "He's crazy about you." Bradley thought back to Noah crying and saying he wanted you to be his mommy.
"I love him," you said simply, taking another bite of French toast while Bradley wrapped his hands around your waist and caressed your soft skin.
And it didn't take long until the food was eaten and you were straddling his lap on the chair. You were cradling his hard cock against your pussy while you kissed his neck and dragged your purple fingernails down his chest and along his abs.
"Feels good," he groaned, trying to sit still and enjoy everything you were doing to him. You looked gorgeous everywhere. Every tilt of your head and brush of your lips against his skin had all of his senses screaming for more. When you finally lifted your hips up and let him slip inside you, he was so far gone. You rode him so well with your arms around his neck and your fingers trailing through his hair.
"Oh," you gasped, eyes fluttering closed as you rubbed your clit against his abs.
"You're so good, Baby," he promised, one hand guiding your hip and the other tracing your nipples. You were a dream. Everything he wanted. Perfect for him. Perfect for Noah.
You leaned closer and kissed his lips, getting louder with each stroke of your clit against him. And soon you were whining his name and pulling his hair. He filled you with his cum that dripped all over the chair and coated your thighs when you stood.
He just looked at you there, standing between his splayed thighs with your hands on his shoulders. "I never want to stop being with you," he mumbled, and you leaned down to kiss him.
------------------------
You were a little embarrassed to admit to Bradley that when you got out of the shower, you wanted to take an afternoon nap. After you spent a few minutes picking on him for being old and drinking fiber in his tea with lunch, you yawned so long and loud that he led you to the living room. You were in his soft UVA sweatshirt again, and you stretched out on the couch with your head on his lap.
The last few days had been wild. You vowed that you were never going to speak to Greyson or his friends again. No more college boys in any way, shape or form. Nobody but Bradley.
He was currently drawing tiny circles along your neck with his fingertips. You yawned again before you whispered, "You know, I probably shouldn't even be here right now."
He just hummed in response, so you asked, "Where are things at with Meredith? Still scheduled for Wednesday?"
But Bradley was silent for a moment before he said, "I don't want you to have to worry about her. I'm doing enough worrying for all three of us. But yes, Wednesday. Unless Tracy calls and tells me otherwise."
"I'm still going to worry, Daddy. But I'm also going to support you. Noah needs to be with you. He needs his dad who took care of him and loves him. He needs to stay with you."
But those little circles on your neck and his rough fingertips had you drifting off to sleep, and you sensed that was what he wanted. He seemed reluctant to let you be consumed by this. So you slept for a few hours on his warm thigh, only stirring when you really needed to go to the bathroom. He hadn't moved at all, but his hand was resting on your bare hip, and he was watching sports highlights on mute on the TV with the captions turned on.
"Baby," he murmured when you popped your head up and turned to look at him. So handsome. You climbed onto his lap and rested your head against his shoulder. He kissed your forehead and told you, "Penny's bringing Noah back in about an hour."
Your heart soared. That would give you enough time to cook something for him for dinner, and then you could play with him a bit before his bedtime. Before you had to leave. And then your heart sank, because you didn't want to go home. And you didn't want to see Penny. You were still so upset about what happened when Bradley got blindsided by Helen.
"I'll be back," you whispered, standing and heading for the bathroom. You took a few minutes to yourself. There was too much going on. And you thought that if you could sort everything out without Bradley distracting you with his hands and his lips you could make more sense of things.
You wanted to be here when Penny dropped Noah off. You didn't want to hide what was going on. You wanted to stay and have dinner with your boys. You deserved that much.
You wanted to help Bradley with Meredith. If there was some way you could aid in court or help him prepare, you wanted to do that. He deserved that much. And Noah deserved everything.
You sighed and washed your hands, and when you opened the door, Bradley was standing there. "I just remade the bed, and I'd love to spend some time snuggling with you."
You went with him and curled up against his huge body. He held you close and asked, "When is your graduation? I need to make sure Noah and I can be there."
The first thing that popped into your mind was the scary thought that maybe Bradley wouldn't be the one making plans for his son much longer, but you squashed it immediately. "I'll add it to your phone calendar since I assume you're too old to figure out how to do that," you replied, kissing the tip of his nose.
He smirked and squeezed your butt so that you were smiling. "I appreciate that, distressingly young girlfriend."
You gasped. "Is that what I am? I thought you said no titles."
"You're my girlfriend," he said with a nod. "Just deal with it, okay? It's been only you for a while now. Your crown lives on my bedpost. I haven't had any other partners. Noah and I are in love with you. You're my girlfriend. My Princess."
You couldn't stop the smile from taking over your face. "Technically I'm Noah's Princess, too."
He sighed and studied your face. "I'm hoping you'll be more than that someday. Now let me put some real clothing on before Penny gets here." With a kiss to your cheek, Bradley grunted and climbed out of bed. You watched his body as he pulled on a US Navy tee shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants.
"Okay, what are you doing?" you asked, crawling across the bed toward him.
He gave you a funny look. "Getting...dressed?"
"No." You pulled him closer by the drawstring on his pants. "As your girlfriend, I'm telling you that you can't wear gray sweatpants around anyone except me. Or like maybe your doctor or something. Because even with underwear, I can see the outline of your dick. It's delicious looking, but no, Daddy."
He blushed. He actually blushed. And you smirked as he yanked them back off again and tossed them at your face. "You wear them, then." You laughed as he pulled on some jeans, complaining the entire time. Then you got out of bed and stepped into his sweatpants. You were sure you looked ridiculous in his too large sweatpants and sweatshirt, but you had nothing else to wear, so you rolled the pants at the waist.
And then the doorbell rang. And now you actually weren't sure that Bradley would want Penny to see you here. You were about to ask him if that was the case, but he took you by the hand.
"Noah is going to be so excited that I didn't completely fuck things up with you." He pulled you down the hallway and toward the front door, and before you knew it, Noah and Penny were right in front of you. When he saw you, his face lit up, and he started trying to wiggle out of Penny's arms.
"Princess!"
You scooped him up as Penny laughed and handed Bradley a bag. "Here's some artwork that we made today. Plus some dirty laundry. We had so much fun making macaroni art with Amelia."
She smiled at you. She didn't look surprised to see you at all as you hugged Noah and kissed his round cheek.
"Thanks, Pen," Bradley mumbled, digging through the bag.
"No need to thank me," she replied, wringing her hands nervously now. "I owe you an apology." She was talking to you. Your eyes went a little wide. "I didn't know the two of you were together. If I had known, I would have never tried to set Bradley up. I really shouldn't have done it anyway," she added softly.
You turned to look up at Bradley. "You told her about us?"
"Yes," he replied, slipping his arm around your shoulders and kissing his son on the head. "Of course I did."
"I should have known, honestly," Penny said, looking at Bradley with a smile. "By the way he said he wasn't using the dating app. And how he seemed calmer. More grounded."
Your cheeks felt warm as you pressed your lips together. "Do you want to stay for dinner?" you asked. "I'm making spaghetti."
"Spaghetti!" Noah cheered, but Penny shook her head. "I need to pick Amelia up from her friend's house. But thank you." And then she was kissing Bradley's cheek and closing the door as she left.
You were alone with your boys. This was all you'd been dreaming about recently. Noah's arms were around your neck, and Bradley was guiding you toward the kitchen, and you had tears in your eyes.
"I love you," Noah whispered, and then you started crying.
"I love you, too, sweet Noah."
---------------------------
Bradley watched you tuck Noah into bed. You looked so good in his clothing and in his house. You looked perfect when you were with his son. He needed this to be his everyday life.
You joined him in the hallway and whispered, "I'll get an Uber to take me home if you don't mind me borrowing your clothes."
"Stay," he replied softly. "Please, stay."
You bit your lip and started to slowly shake your head. "Tomorrow is Monday. You have work. I should go to campus and start on my job applications and final few assignments."
"You can do that from here. Use my computer. Please, stay."
You hummed softly. He would be more than happy to beg you not to leave, but you took him by the hand and kissed his wrist. "Okay. I'll stay. Leave me your computer and charger."
Then you turned toward his bedroom, pulling his sweatshirt over your head as you went. "Are you coming?" you asked him over your shoulder. He could see the silhouette of your peaked nipple in the dimly lit space, and he tripped along after you.
"I'm coming, Baby," he rasped, and your soft giggle as you climbed into his bed had him reaching for you. The room was dark, and his eyes hadn't adjusted yet, but your voice alone was making him hard.
"Come get me, Daddy."
He grunted and slipped his hand down the front of the sweatpants, and you gasped. He took his time. He made sure you were reacting just the way he wanted you to. And when he had you close, he asked, "Does anyone else make you feel as good as Daddy does?"
Your moan was so loud in the silent house that he had to cover your mouth with his. "No," you panted. "No."
Then he flipped you over onto your knees and yanked the sweatpants down. "Good girl," he whispered, burying his face in your pussy from behind.
"Daddy," you whined, and Bradley had to push your face down to the pillow to keep you quiet. With your ass in the air, he finished you off as you gushed a bit for him.
"Fucking hell," he growled as he lapped at your pussy and unzipped his jeans, pulling himself free. With one clean movement, he was buried deep, bottoming out inside you. "Soaking wet." His face was tipped back, staring at the ceiling, trying to keep his composure.
"Daddy!" you whined, bumping back against him harder, and that was it.
"Not too loud, Baby," he warned, wrapping one hand over your mouth and planting one hand on the bed. He pressed himself against your back and whispered in your ear, "You want Daddy to be sweet or rough?"
"Rough," you whimpered against his fingers before he shoved them in your mouth and slammed into you until he was seeing stars. You were a whimpering mess as Bradley filled you over and over again, and then he came so hard, he was afraid he was going to hurt you. But you seemed fine as he collapsed on top of your back.
"You okay?" he asked, panting like he'd just run five miles.
"Yes," you gasped softly. "So good."
"Will you let me fuck you like a sweet princess tomorrow?"
You moaned softly. "Whenever you want."
He kissed along your neck and grunted. "Daddy needs a good night's sleep, Baby. Tomorrow."
And not ten minutes later, Bradley was sound asleep as you ran your fingers along his chest and told him you loved him. He never wanted you to leave.
-------------------------
Bradley is always in a much better headspace when he's with his little family. Don't worry, Meredith is on deck! Hope you enjoy your fic, @beyondthesefourwalls And thank you @mak-32 !
PART 23
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@swthxrry
@chassy21
@yaboid19
@solacestyles
@avoirlecoupdefoudre
@daisyhollyxox
@throwinsauce
@awesomebooklover17
@wintercap89
@whosyourgnomie4
@rosesinmars
@blog-name6996
@bcon24
@wishfulwithwine
@backinwonderl4nd
@tetragonia
@gingerbreadandpaper
@emptyloverofmine
@chaoticassidy
@missmirandafe
@changlingkhat
@sugarcoated-lame
@avada-kedavra-bitch-187
@katiebby04
@marantha
@averyhotchner
@abaker74
@andycanbeemotional
@heli991113
@k-k0129
@noz4a2
@tallyovie
@shanimallina87
@starlightstories
@teddyluvs2sing
@little-wiseone
@ccbb2222
@lilyevanswhore
@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o
@xoxabs88xox
#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#rooster fanfic#rooster x you#rooster x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x female reader#rooster bradshaw x reader#rooster bradshaw fic#bradley rooster x reader#top gun imagine#top gun maverick imagine#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#roosterforme#the younger kind
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
summary: in which a phone call ruined your day.
... or not, because your boyfriend made sure to be there for you until you were okay again.
pairing: s. reid x gn!reader
w.c: 2.1K
warnings/content: reader is reckless and puts themselves in danger (one time); angst; mentions of shutting people out; an argument happens but the fluff comes right after; case-related violence; reader is going through something but it isn't explained; mentions of past bad habits; be aware of spelling errors.
A/N: my finals aren't over but I forced myself to take a break for the night. thus, I'm posting this hurt/comfort blurb. hope you like it.
navi
masterpost
cm masterlist
would you like to enter my taglist?
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“you're mad.”
the day started good. you even got breakfast at home, which is something it almost never works out. but a case only arrived at around nine, so you had time to eat something before leaving.
spencer made toast, crispy, just the way you liked it. you sipped on your orange juice as he took his coffee, hand resting above yours in the comfortable morning silence you liked to partake in.
the day started good.
until things went south really quick.
it all begun with a phone call. not a work call, you were pretty used to those and when hotch called you up to the briefing room, everybody was already filling out paperwork in the bureau.
your mood went sour in a matter of seconds. you think you were able to desguise it from most of the team, though. except for spencer and maybe emily, because emily noticed every eyelash that was out of place, she couldn't even help it.
the news you got caused you to retract back to old habits, shutting people out and drowning in work to avoid thinking about it. you were numb, doing everything on autopilot, but you didn't let it compromise your professionalism. never. that fucking phone call wouldn't make you a bad profiler for a second. you wouldn't let it.
being numb lead you to be impulsive. and you took advantage of that. you'd jump straight into action just to avoid dealing with your problems. just to forget.
“i'm not mad.”
your boyfriend's tone was clipped, short. almost cold, but it didn't got that far yet. it took a lot to make spencer reid mad. but when it happened, and you were the reason, you were always conflicted on whether to let him cool off for himself, give him space, or beg for forgiveness right after you screwed up.
this time, you decided on the former. you don't think it worked that well.
the unsub had a gun pointing at a seven year old child. he was cornered in every way possible. police cars were still arriving at the scene, although five FBI agents aimed at the man, ready to shoot in case he so much as twitched a finger on that trigger.
anxiety ran along the bystanders as they watched it all happen in their neighborhood. you hadn't plan that, in fact, all of you had planned something else entirely. the profile was solid as well as the location and the unsub's endgame.
but people are unpredictable. no matter how hard you've studied the human brain. in certain circumstances, they would be capable of anything. including threatening children's lives.
your boss advised everyone to stay back. that they had it covered. it was only a matter of talking him down, carefully and with confidence.
but the second you heard the sob of that seven-year-old boy, you stopped focusing on the command reaching your earpiece. bulletproof vest and gun set aside, you marched forward, no ounce of hesitation. you knew what you were doing.
“spencer.” you followed him into your bedroom, a tired sigh leaving your lips as you felt your legs wobble slightly. you were exhausted. the day was hell both physically and mentally and you just wanted to take a good shower and sleep for forty eight hours. you wanted to forget it ever happened. you wanted to forget that phone call.
he didn't spared you a glance as he grabbed a pair of clothes to get into the bathroom. there was it. that coldness you hated. it was finally here. “spencer, please. can we talk?” you begged. if there was one thing that suffocated you was sleeping while upset. and your boyfriend was an elite grudge holder. you just couldn't do that tonight.
“of course.” he leaned back from the door just before entering the bathroom. an impassive expression across his featured as he turned to you. you wanted to scream at him. “you've been avoiding me all day, but you want to talk now? of course.”
okay. you deserved that.
did you though? why couldn't he make your life a little easier?
“sorry I was rude to you,” you said, holding back the petty comment wanting to slip out of your tongue. sorry I'm going through something and you're being an idiot about it. “i didn't mean to. I shouldn't have treated you that way.”
spencer's tongue poked around his cheek and you braced yourself for what was about to happen. an argument. in the middle of the night — morning, it must have been past two am.
“i don't care that you were rude the entire day.” spencer clarified as if that would make things better. “i care that you threw yourself in front of a psychopath with a gun, without a bulletproof vest and only your hands to work as a shield.”
“you had my back.” you insisted, recalling the moment the whole team started to shout at both you and the unsub. they were behind you, you had good coverage. “someone needed to talk him down.”
he didn't seem to be on the verge of snapping anymore. his shoulders were slumped. he was tired too. he was exhausted. it has been a long day and you needed to rest. you needed to sleep. you needed to forget.
it had started as a good day.
“we were doing that.” spencer mumbled, softly. he eyed your bitten cuticules, the bandage in your arm and your far away gaze. spencer wasn't stupid. he noticed things. he noticed you. he knew something was wrong from the moment you excused yourself to take a phone call in the middle of the case briefing. you came back into the room a different person. contained. robotic. strictly professional. “why couldn't you wait?”
“it was a child. he was scared.” you snapped, flinching away from him. “he didn't have time to wait.”
spencer pressed his brows together, deciding to not mention the time you did have to do what you had to do. statistics wouldn't help now. “you could have gotten shot in the chest.”
“it barely grazed my arm.”
“that's not the point!”
“and what is?” you yelled back, turning to him, fuming. “there is no point. the boy was in danger. you decided to wait. I decided to act. he's alive. I'm barely hurt. the case is over.”
spencer faltered, seeking something in you that he wasn't able to find. his gaze travelled accross yours in a desperate attempt to make you realise how stupid that single sentence was. one mistake. one wrong move. and you could have been somewhere else instead of in your shared apartment.
a bodybag.
“who called you?” you blinked at him, taken aback by the question. you expected him to blame you further. you even expected him to ignore you for the rest of the night. you would not back down. “i know something happened. someone happened. you're not... you wouldn't do that if you were thinking.”
“so because I'm impulsive one time, you're questioning my judgement?”
“when your judgement makes me almost lose you, yes. I am.” he crossed his arms, licking his lips as he studied you. profiled you. you fucking hated him right now. you wanted to rip his brains out.
“there was an entire team aiming at the guy, spencer.” you scoffed, pressing a thumb against your forehead, a headache brewing. your will to argue has vanished. you just wanted to sleep.
“you were blocking our aim.”
“can you stop?”
“no.”
you no longer had control of your emotions as your sight begins to be blurred by tears. fuck, I can't do this.
the room became silent. as if hearing your inner turmoils, spencer paused. he thought it through, any possibility that might have caused your sudden mood change. your impulsiveness. he thought he had done something, but by your reaction it wasn't that. it wasn't him.
it all shifted after that phone call.
you didn't retract when he approached. you didn't reject his touch or pushed him away. but you remained frozen, locked up in your own cage.
“do you want to talk about it?”
it had started as a good day.
you stood up, brushing your strands behind your ears and swallowing up the feeling of something permanently lodged in your throat.
you didn't turn to watch his expression faltering in disappointment. you didn't had the guts to see it.
“no.” you said. “i'm fine. I'm going to take a shower. I'm tired.” you left to your shared bedroom without a goodnight, knowing it would be pointless since you'd be sleeping alone tonight.
sleeping was a strong word. you closed your eyes, pressing your eyelids so tight that you're seeing stars. tossing and turning for around one hour in an empty bed was enough to leave you upset. the weight of the day and the argument you had with your boyfriend taking a toll on you.
maybe you hadn't been fair to spencer. it's not like he did anything to force your sudden mood change; he had absolutely nothing to do with it, actually. he wasn't responsible for that phone call, he wasn't the person at the other line whose voice you didn't want to hear ever again. he was just the one at the receiving end of your irritability.
your boyfriend, he wasn't one to pry. to force you to speak of things that made you uncomfortable. things you weren't ready to discuss yet. he was the kind of person who would ask if everything was alright and he would make sure you knew you had a shoulder to cry on and a ear to vent if necessary.
spencer was caring and respectful. he knew you needed space just as he did at some moments. so much so that he wasn't sleeping on the couch because he was mad at you — though you had been rude for that to be case — but because being around him, or anyone for that matter, would only set you off.
his curled up frame on the couch, half covered by the blanket and half uncovered to the night air. curls splattered around the pillow he stole from your bedroom when you were still in the bathroom. you wanted to bury yourself into his arms and never leave him again. you wanted his warmth all over you.
standing on the entrance of the living room, you watched his eyelids move incessantly. it was what told you he wasn't in a deep sleep.
he was pretending to be sleeping and you knew he was aware of your watchful eyes.
“i'm sorry.”
you mumbled into the uncomfortable silence, scratching your arm beneath the bandage in nervousness. shifting into your feet, you contemplated approaching him, but remained in the spot.
he peaked at you as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness of the room. he moved to a sitting position, outstretching a hand in your direction. an invitation.
“c'me here.”
you didn't need to be told twice.
“i'm sorry I was rude to you, I didn't mean it. you were just there and I—” he shushed your ramble with a kiss to your temple, arms squeezing you against him the way you craved in bed a few minutes ago. “i'm sorry, spencer. please don't be mad at me.” the last part you let out in a soft whisper but it only made him pull you closer as a form of comfort, to erase the pain you were feeling.
spencer cupped your cheeks so you would look at him “i'm not mad.” he promised, thumb grazing your face lovingly. “i just thought you needed space, but I promise I'm not mad, okay?”
you nodded with your lips trembling slightly. you were fairly certain that if you were to speak anything right now you'd burst into tears immediately.
you did manage to let out i don't want space, I want you. because it was all that you needed right now. always.
he kissed every teardrop that slipped out after that, bringing you closer to lay on his chest as he rested his back against the arm of the couch.
“i'm here, baby.” he whispered, fingers dancing across your arms. “always.”
you turned on his hold to be face to face with him, lifting one hand to touch the side of his face, caressing his jaw where you felt the growing stubble on his chin.
“thank you.” you said, smiling faintly when he pecked the tip of your nose.
he ended up covering the both of you with the spare blanket.
he breathed out as if pretty satisfacted with your current position, even though you both will most certainly be complaining of backache as soon as you wake up tomorrow. “i love you.” he let out, not minding about the pain in his joints in the morning. the only thing that mattered was you in his arms, safe and sound.
the day started good, until a phone call ruined it completely.
or not. because spencer was there and he kind of made things bearable. and if he could just make you feel better for a little while, that's what he would do.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
taglist: @lilyviolets
#reader insert#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x gn!reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort
496 notes
·
View notes
Note
I want to start running...any tips?
I WAS BORN TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Thank you so much for asking! Unfortunately, I am a nerd about my hobbies so this got quite long.
Keep it simple ✨
Running is easy to get into; our bodies are built for it. Don’t stress over technicalities and just do what feels natural to you. My local races are full of 70-something white-haired pensioners who are kicking ass at it. Don’t let anyone tell you that running is meant to feel like dying, that’ll harm your knees, or that you absolutely need to have that specific smartwatch model to get into it. All you need is a solid pair of shoes, everything else is optional.
Medium effort is the way to go
The ideal aerobic running pace is a speed at which you’re able to hold a conversation, even if a bit winded. NO faster. If you’re able to sing along to your playlist or chat with a friend, that’s your ideal running pace. If you’re gasping or wheezing, slow down! You’ll get a bit faster as your lung capacity gets better, but that shouldn’t be a priority unless you want to train for a race. You get most of the health benefits of running just by keeping up a steady, sustainable, conversational pace.
Walking breaks are fine, actually
That’s the reason why I don’t love C25K as a beginner program — the way it’s structured sort of implies that walking breaks are something you should grow out of to become a more experienced runner. If you need to walk for a bit, go ahead.
If possible, jogging is preferable, just because the mechanics of even a glacial-pace jog are more similar to running than those of a faster power walk, so you might try switching to a jog after a bit of a walking interval. But walking is not a failure; there are serious marathon training plans out there that use walk/run intervals as a viable strategy.
(Related: picking up speed helps you keep going! If you feel like you are completely drained, try speeding up for a very short interval, then slowing back down. It’ll often give you an energy boost to keep going)
Run for time, not distance ⌚
Especially for beginners, I find that getting fixated on numbers can be counter productive, and the most important thing is to listen to your body. If you’re aiming to hit a certain mileage, you might get the urge to speed up at the end to get done faster. Instead, set yourself time-based goals and end every run with a cool down jog or walk.
SHOES!! 👟
Good running shoes are essential, and pretty much the only fitness-related purchase on which I’ll always support dropping money. If you get to the point where you’re consistently running 10 km (6 miles) each week, you’ll want to go to a running store — the kind of place where you’ll get fitted, and they’ll have you try on models and jog on a treadmill to evaluate your gait and let you know which characteristics your ideal shoe needs. I can’t stress enough how useful running store staff can be. They’re all running club nerds who LOVE getting new people into running, and they really want to help you find your ideal fit. Also get good running socks while you’re at it.
Be prepared to drop at least 100€ (or equivalent currency) but they usually have a great return policy if the model isn’t a good fit for you. Take care of your running shoes — maintenance, wearing them only for running, gentle cleansing etc — and the cushioning will last for quite a while (600km / 370miles at least). If you decide that you hate running, they’re still great for walking around. Once you find your ideal shoe model, it gets a lot easier to shop for it during end-of-season sales, or looking for online bargains etc. I love stocking on end-of-series shoes and rotating them so they’ll last even longer, and I buy online quite often! Just make sure your FIRST pair is fitted, for ideal injury prevention and joint health.
Injury prevention 💪
I’d love to still be running 10k races when I’m 70, but it takes some care to get there. When you run, you’re slamming your body weight up and down with every stride, and that might be hard on your joints if you’re not used to it. If you’re completely new to running, cap your runs at 15/20 minutes every other day. Do that even if you feel like you could keep going! If you have a good aerobic base already, you need to give your joints time to catch up with you lung capacity, and give your body time to recover. Do bodyweight exercises like lunges and planks and glute bridges to strengthen your core, legs, and hips. Dynamic stretches are great for warmups, and static stretches are better for cooling down. If you have the option, running on softer surface like grass or dirt is better than asphalt, which is better than concrete and pavements.
(If nothing of what I’ve said here makes sense to you, shoot me another ask, or look at some of the resources I’ve linked down below!)
Don't get bored! 🎶
I love running in groups. Running clubs are great. You can learn so much in a hands-on way from seriously experienced people, you can chat about gossip over a running job, and you can make some interesting friends. If you don’t have access to a running community, then personally I love just chilling on a run by myself listening to an audiobook or podcast or exploring a certain area.
Running form❓
Don’t stress about it. Just go out and move your body. Attempting to modify your ‘running form’ too quickly can do more harm than good. There ARE a few things you could pay attention to — I recommend trying to focus on one of these at a time for a minute or so, and alternate between them. After a while, it’ll start to feel natural to keep track of all of them:
1. Don’t slouch! But a slight lean forward is great.
2. Keep your shoulders pulled down and your upper back tense.
3. Swinging your arms in a way that helps with your stride is good, but I shouldn’t feel forced.
4. Even breaths, inhaling through your mouth and expiring through your nose.
5. Take turns to check with every part of your body, and relax them in turn: are your jaw and neck too tense? Are your fists tight?
6. Don’t overstride! shorter strides with quicker leg turnover are better than huge strides that feel awkward to you.
7. Use your glutes to drive up the motion of your legs, not just your quads. This can take a while to get used to, but it’s a game-changer.
8. ENGAGE YOUR CORE. This is a great skill to develop whether you work out or are just existing in the world — basically, let your inner abdominal muscles help you carry your weight forward. This is VERY intuitive once you know how to do it, but it’s hard to get a grasp of it if you don’t know what it means, so here are some resources about it.
an extremely fucking comprehensive article that improved my life and eased my big-boobs back pain
similar content but in video form
a running-specific form video
Personally, learning to do this made me feel like I unlocked a superpower. Go forth and brace.
Accessories and tips 🤓
Like I said above, the only thing I really suggest spending money on for real is running shoes. Everything else is details! However, I’m nothing if not wordy I have Thoughts about those details, too.
Run tracking: I suggest downloading Runkeeper if you want to keep track of your runs — it’s free, intuitive, and solid! If you decide to get into wearables, a low-level Garmin >>>>> anything else.
Self-care: use sunscreen and/or thick face cream as needed. Stop to sip at a public fountain if needed. Get a small fanny pack to hold your phone, keys, or lip balm if needed. If chafing is an issue, anti-glide gel is relatively affordable.
Outfits etc: I get all my running gear and clothes from Decathlon — they are in most countries and ship worldwide. I especially love this thermal shirt for colder weather
Safety: if you’re running on the road, make sure to run in the opposite direction from traffic and to wear something bright. If you run with headphones near traffic, keep the volume down, or get over-the-ear conductor headsets. I love shokz, they're fantastic.
Post-run snack: eating something small and carb-heavy within 30 mins of a workout is great for kickstarting recovery. I love dried fruit personally.
Various resources 📝
Routine basics: check out the r/running order of operations, which is a great “how to” guide to building a basic running routine. I also recommend that subreddit's wiki! Running programming gets exponentially more involved the more advanced you get, etc — if you ever have any questions, hit me up!
Dynamic stretching warmup: a quick leg swing workout to get your legs ready to go. If you’re feeling overachieving, here’s a lunge warmup routine and a how-to bodyweight squat video.
Cooldown routine! Check out Strength and Mobility, a great post-run quick cooldown routine that includes some bodyweight exercises to strengthen your hips and core. Video included.
that's all, folks! 🏃♀️
Sorry I got carried away! I love running. I love getting people into running. My mental health, cardiovascular system and my popping quads also love running. But FYI, some people hate running and that's also fine! If you decide it’s not for you, find something you like more. There are a lot of misconceptions out there and a lot of guilt-tripping and body shame-y rhetoric around exercising, especially aimed at women, and I want to make clear it’s all bullshit. Just have fun <3
#Anonymous#ask#jockposting#running#fitblr#exercise tips#running basics#exercise#runblr#long post#for reference I mostly run in brooks ghosts but I use the levitate for speedwork and more intense long runs#I stock whenever there's a sale on runnea or runningwarehouse or whatever#pinned
697 notes
·
View notes
Note
so lute and velvette… opinions on what they would like to receive as gifts? 👀
OHHH OK i got carried away and did how theyd react to gifts but trust i followed the prompt at first
so lute doesn’t like gifts (this is a lie). if you get her anything she’ll just throw it away (she will treasure that shit til the day she dies). just dont get her a work-related gift and she’ll love it forever
velvette on the other hand loves gifts — she expects them and you know it’d be a death wish to get her anything related to her work — even if its shallow, she’d rather have that because something work related feels undermining
say you get lute flowers? she’ll appreciate them in private because no one ever gets her anything, and she doesn’t know when she’ll get a spontaneous “they made me think of you” gift again
get velvette flowers? that woman is expecting flowers with every gift you give her because flowers can’t be a gift again silly, now they’re just common courtesy
but don’t worry, velvette is gushing about you all over social media because you meet her expectations so well — she posts things like “never settle for less” and its more and more every time
lute is discreet about her fawning. rather than broadcasting her appreciation, she’ll find herself staring at the flowers she’s been keeping healthy with fresh trims and water whenever it was needed and thinking she should probably do something to show her gratitude — so that you weren’t just giving her something unwarranted ofc. not because she wanted you to start giving each other gifts
of course that would be exactly what happens
i don’t think velvette would put too much effort into getting you a gift, like shes not thinking about what you might like in return or anything, but if she sees something you’ll like?? (and she knows what you like) best believe she’s getting that no mater the price
and vel is not the type to take off price tags. not because she wants you to feel bad about her spending so much money, but because she wants you and everyone else to know that she’s going to do everything possible to keep you happy, so that price tag going on her story with a casual “anything for my baby”, is 1000% percent a threat to the world
i have half a mind to think she makes sure to buy you the most obscenely expensive things when you’re not there to object and tells you it was final sale, but “it’s okay, love, we’ll go and get you something else, yeah?” and thats how she gets you because she knows you love her gifts, and she will be getting you more
with lute, you’d definitely be the one buying things on a whim. however, she would make you return things that were too pricey, only to find something she’d want to get you — conveniently she’d forget to check the tag, or she’ll talk to the shop owner until she got the price down
“what about this?” she’d ask when she saw something she wanted to get you, and you’d have to ask her whether it was for you her her. she’d lie, obviously, and end up finding a way to give it to you in the future
lute would also tell you not to get her anything then be walking with adam down the promenade and tell you to “catch” as she tossed you something she got for you
and that girl is 100% watching to see you fawn over it, smiling when she sees how excited you are only to be pulled out of it by you coming back to give her something in return because you just knew if she told you not to get anything, that meant she got you something. like it’s basically a competition at this point and she counts that as a loss — and lute does not lose
velvette, on the other hand? not a competition; she’s winning either way. she has a partner who gets her gifts that meet her expectations, and she has a partner she can give gifts that meet her expectations
but lute’s competitiveness about gifts is hot so who’s really winning…
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin lute#hazbin hotel heaven#hazbin velvette#lute hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lute#lute x reader#lute#hazbin hotel velvette#velvette x reader#velvette hazbin hotel#hazbin headcanons#hazbin x reader#lute headcanons#velvette headcanons#hazbin
355 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello, analysis question. what do you think about the fact that in the slime video dan is the one whose blood is spilled first? the only wound he has is on his hand, as opposed to phil's much more severe one. does this mean anything?
okay, this is going to be based more in personal interpretation than something with references and sources because off the top of my head i can't think of situations that mirror this in horror. I will, however, be sourcing from other people's anlysis on here when it's relevant.
The first blood spilled in a piece of media heavily relating to horror or death is most often the inciting incident. However, I don't think that's relevant here. I think the inciting incident of danandphilcrafts is something that happened off screen. As is very well explained in this post by @dapg-otmebytheballs, everything that happens in these videos is a joint and agreed upon act created by a joint belief system. BUT...there's a clear pattern from all the way back in Squareflakes that Phil is the ringleader in what they're doing. He explains the crafts to Dan and the Audience, he tells him and us what to do and chides Dan if he's not doing it right. It's my personal interpretation that Phil was the original believer and the one who brought Dan in.
That makes Dan's blood something else–the blood of the innocent. The spilling of innocent blood is an inciting incident in itself. It's a point of no return. and can be tied back to its importance in rituals. Rituals (at least in media, i don't claim to speak on real practices) often ask for virgin blood. virginity = innocence. This is often interpreted as a sexual virgin, as that is how the world is most often used today, but (from what i've read) it actually refers to someone who's blood has never been used in a ritual before. Phil has already been sacrificed once, in Potato Prints, so perhaps part of the reason Dan's blood was used is because just Phil's was no longer viable to summon Him.
Back to Phil being the leader of the two of them, I believe the reason Dan gets off with a much smaller wound is, perhaps, a matter of responsibility. If Phil got him into this, then it's only right that he take the brunt of the sacrifice. Dan's sacrifice, all along, has been his innocence, not that either of them know that. By spilling innocent blood, and using it in a ritual, that virginity/innocence is lost. and it only continues to be lost even more as the ritual progresses, resulting in the biggest lost of innocence of all, killing another human being.
Dan's blood being spilled is the point of no return. With Phil back alive again after the events of Potato Prints, they could have made a fresh start. But they're devoted to eachother, and to Him. There was no hope for them, but maybe before this moment, if things had been different, there could have been.
So, in summary, my personal interpretation of the significance is this piece by Jenny Holzer
and this quote by John Darnielle:
This is why people cry at the movies: because everybody’s doomed. No one in a movie can help themselves in any way. Their fate has already staked its claim on them from the moment they appear onscreen.
#this wasn't something i'd thought about before so i hope any of this makes sense lmao#and anyone feel free to add on to this if you have a different interpretation#asks#ry.txt#dan and phil
263 notes
·
View notes
Text
DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
tw ⭒ swearing, angst, couple argument, mean jason todd (he's kind of a jerk with his words but uhhhh, he's cute), jason todd x fem!reader and okayyyyyy that's everything i think and some fluff sandwiched with more angst at the end bc i can't leave this just like that
a/n ⭒ song based fanfics are my weakness, i'm so sorry i just can't stop listening to certain songs just to write something related - the all-merican rejects, dirty little secret here okayyyy
i stopped counting words, sorry lmao
jason has been a nice boyfriend, so long he has never raised his voice or got angry when there was a little problem, he has taken you out on a few nice dates but there was something off.
you knew basically nothing about his surroundings, not his family nor his friends, probably seen once any of his close class mates and before you could go to say hi he was next to you, it was almost as if he didn't wanted you near them but you tried to push it away. for over three months.
you've had enough of pretty much all of that situation, dating jason for almost a year, going on one or two dates every two months and just getting texts from him, probably a short movie night if he had any time for you and it was making you feel so little and less for him, what was the problem with taking you with his family? or asking you to hang out with his friends? because he made some time to spend a few hours with them, drink something and have fun but there wasn't place for you with them, with him.
"jay... do you think we can go to the movies this weekend?" you ask him, sitting on one of the stools you had around your living room when he was spending some of his spare time with you "there is this new movie..." you trail off, trying to get his attention.
"don't think we can do that, doll, already made plans" he looks at your for a couple of seconds with a small frown and you're thinking that maybe you are the problem, maybe you're not enough for jason and he knows it, he's nice with you and the way he looks at you, how he brushes your hair when he walks next to you before sitting on your couch.
"you going out with your friends?" you ask softly, receiving a nod and a soft hum from him "maybe i could join you, i don't know your friends..." your voice is still low, calm but there's a clear intention on it and as soon as you present the idea jason scoffs.
there something in the way he does it that makes you feel like a spark ignited inside of your chest, between a bolt of anger and a sharp pain, what was that supposed to mean?
"you don't wanna know them, trust me, princess" jason trails off, almost lying on your couch as he looked at his phone "not your kind of people..." he whispers and it makes you near explode.
"what is that supposed to mean, jason?" there's an edge to your voice that makes him sit straight, he looks at you and places his hands on his lap "it means exactly what i said, my friends are not your kind of people, why?" he shrugs, as if it wasn't that much of a big deal.
"and what is my kind of people exactly? not so interesting? not as good as you?" you start, the light in your eyes replaced by something else and jason noticed it "is your family also like that? not the kind of people i am around?"
"exactly that" he says, simply and blunt, he looks at you unamused as he crosses his arms over his chest and leans back "not your kind of people either, now stop the tantrum, okay?" and for a second you are speechless because he has never said something like that.
"why can't i meet your family? it's been almost a year, do they at least know you are dating someone?" you ask, not letting go of it just like that makes him sigh in frustration.
"why would they have to know? i don't see your point, y/n." and as soon as the pet names stop you know that he's not happy talking about this "i haven't told anyone, okay? and i don't plan on doing it, i have my reasons."
"maybe they have to know because i'm your damn girlfriend" your town grows a bit louder, not longer sitting on the stool you walk until you're in front of jason "maybe they have to know because what the hell have you've been doing the days you spend here instead of with them?" the way jason looks at you isn't helping, his eyes are fixed on the ceiling and his lips are pressed on a fine line.
"i don't want to tell them, okay? i can't see a damn issue besides you wanting everyone to know i have a girlfriend and that's not a big deal" he trails off, his hand moving in a motion that made your mood go worse.
"it is a fucking big deal, jason!" when you snap at him he turns to look at you, eyebrows raised in surprise bit it quickly changes to a expression of pure tiredness "we barely have a date every full moon, you text me whenever you remember i exist and your friends don't even know i'm your girlfriend" you number with your fingers, your voice shaky because your emotions taking over were too much.
"i do what i can, i don't have that much free days to waste my time here!" he snaps back and his words hit hard but that's just the start "i still can't get why you have to make a fuzz out of it, it's enough with both of us knowing we're dating"
"wasting your time, fine" you mutter before turning around, back facing him as you walk to your room and you can make the sound of his steps following you "it's so fucking funny because no one knows i'm your girlfriend so you get a lot of girls flirting with you and i have to deal with it but as soon as any of my friends gets too touchy with me at the campus you're calling me" and it's true, jason can't stand seeing other people so close to you and so freely because that's something he can't do and he does had his reasons.
"are you really gonna make a problem out of this?" he asks, it's like he isn't able to wrap his mind around of it, how much you wanted everyone to know that someone like him laid his eyes on you, that he liked you from all of the girls it was you "you're the only one that needs to know"
"but at least give me a goddamn reason for me to be a stupid secret, jason" you are almost crying, voice struggled and eyes burning from how much you wish things were at least a little different "is it so bad it's me who you're dating? am i not enough?" your words hurt, not just you but also him because he would love to show you off but his life won't allow it.
he won't risk you to get too deep into his shit, it's enough you deal with his presence and his absence too.
"that's not a game you would like to play, you'll find out shit you don't wanna know" he warns you, jason's voice is now stern and his eyes are no longer soft, he stands towering over you as he seems to be holding back his tongue "i can't tell anyone and you don't even try because that would be so dumb of you" he sounds absolutely mad and he is, but with himself.
jason hates this, he knows that maybe he's breaking your heart and he despises his whole being for that. he loves you and that's why he can't drag you into his world, all the pain and worry it would bring to you would be a burden you don't deserve when you're the only one who brings something nice into his days.
"you're still not giving me one single reason, i don't even know if you're ashamed or what the hell is going on" your voice breaks and he sees the tears pooling on your lashes, he wants to hold you and tell you how much he loves you but maybe he has to break you a little to keep you safe.
"i don't fucking want them to know about you, that's all! is it so hard to wrap your head around it? do i need to spell it out for you like a fucking child?" he's yelling in a way that draws your tears away, wet trails on your cheeks "it's stupid, you know? i'm wasting my fucking time here when i could be doing something else"
you see him passing his hands through his hair, desperate and frustrated "i thought this would be different but you had to decide to get on my nerves and be a pain in the ass, is this what you expect me to take with my family? a brat like you that can't take a no for an answer?"
he is cursing his name in his head, he sees how your heart shatters into pieces and the way your hands fall flat on your sides, tears falling silently through your cheeks.
"do i need to get you a damn banner to announce it? take you out so you can scream it out loud? you've got to be joking" he scoffs, jason outs a show for you. a show of breaking your heart, making you feel so stupid for expecting to be important enough for him.
"get out" your words tremble and he stops to look at you, there's a brief glimpse of regret on his eyes but it vanishes in a second. "i don't want you here, get out of my place" you point every word, crying but still angry at him. the sharp pain in your chest is making it hard to breath and it shows on the gasps you let out as he walks out of the room.
"i hope that later tonight you regret everything you've said" he hears you, his chest aching because he wants so bad to erase each word he said.
"i regret a lot of things, y/n" he says harshly, looking at you intently before he leaves. just like that you're left alone in your apartment, crying and letting yourself fall onto the floor.
night falls like that, rain pouring heavily and it muffles your sobs while you lie on your couch, hugging a pillow and hiding your face because you've been crying without rest since jason left. the headache you feel is killing you but there's no will to get up to take a pill.
on the other hand, jason drives around the city. he has been around your block a few times wondering if he should go back and hold you but he shrugs and leaves, you said you didn't wanted him there so it would have done things worse. jason also looks at his phone, thinking about calling or texting you but he decides is better if he doesn't.
until he stops thinking or at least he thinks he did, he stands outside your door with his copy of the keys on his hand and it's too late when he snaps back into reality because he's already on the doorway. it's almost midnight and the lights are all off, not even the tv is on but he listens clearly to your soft sobs and the sounds of you shifting on your place.
"i told you i didn't wanted you here" you croack, voice hoarse and raspy from how much you've been crying your lungs out. his heart breaks when he turns on the lights and sees your red eyes, puffy and still teary.
"i know... but i couldn't leave you like that" there was the jason todd you knew, his voice was soft and there was a tenderness to his eyes that always made you sigh "i said a lot of shit today and you have no idea how much i hate myself for it" he starts before walking towards you.
he shakes his head when you try to sit on the couch, making you stay still as he lets his body fall sit on the floor and reaches a hand to brush a few strands of messy hair out of your face, he sighs when you pull away refusing his touch.
"i don't wanna know, jason" he wants to kiss your forehead when you snuggle yourself a little more against the pillow but he knows it's not the right moment for it. not when he was losing you.
"but i need to tell you... there are a lot of things about me that you don't know and you are different from my family and friends, baby" his hand finds a way to ylur cheek, cupping it gently as he wipes away a few tears "and that's not bad because you're better than any of them, you're better than me anf right now i'm so damn sure i don't really deserve someone like you" his words are full of meaning, that you can feel it because jason has clear eyes for you, green pretty eyes that had always allowed you to stare into his soul to let you understand his feelings.
"i could never be ashamed to show you off but you have to understand i'm not a good person and letting anyone know how much you mean to me... i can't risk losing the only good thing i have" and it makes you feel weird, part of your brain tells you to kick him out because his words are not real.
but your heart is beating fast, the way jason looks at you and his voice feeling like a warm embrace that keeps you safe from the hard world, there's no pain when he's next to you "i don't know what you're talking about, jason, this just doesn't feel right"
"i've let you into my life, everything i am is an open book for you because i trust you" trying to calm down your words sound a bit more steady, not so broken when you look up at jason "because i love you and i want to share with you everything that i am, is it that i'm asking for too much?"
"that's not– you're not asking for too much, princess... you deserve the world laid at your feet but it's hard for me to let you into a world that you probably won't like" he says, looking away from you as if he felt shame about who he was "what if i let you in and you can't love who i really am?" his eyes bore into yours again, you can see the pain and fear on them.
jason can't stand thinking about losing another loved one because of his life.
#mara's thoughts#i made myself cry with this lmao#jason todd angst#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd x you#jason todd blurb#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd#red hood angst#red hood imagine#red hood#dc comics#jason todd fluff#red hood fluff
398 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thoughts on Kieran’s relationship with Ogerpon as a previously obsessive teenager:
(I did not proof read this. I just woke up, had the urge, and now it’s here.)
Kieran, to me, is a very relatable character. He is a shy, and quiet teenager in a small town. He lacks friendships and possibly meaningful connections with those who do spend time with him. He’s probably isolated due to the fact that he lacks a phone. Any friends he does make are likely school based only. So, Kieran latches on to anything he can to feel less alone in life. And of course he latches onto Ogerpon. Ogerpon is just like him. A sad “monster” all isolated and alone in the mountains. I’m certain that Kieran has fantasized about meeting Ogerpon and getting into wild adventures with her. I did the same thing with characters I enjoyed.
Princess Luna, for example (sorry to whiplash anyone with that), was a character I heavily related to. She was alone and isolated due to her previous actions. She struggled with fitting in and having a healthy relationship with her sister for awhile. To say I didn’t form an obsession with a character who understood my feelings would be a lie. I think Kieran is the same.
He became obsessed with Ogerpon. He become obsessed with the ideas he crafted of him and Ogerpon. In a way, that fantasy was VERY real to him. So when we come around and lie about meeting Ogerpon, and inevitably become friends with her behind his back, of course he freaks out! We stole his fantasy of him and Ogerpon! And that’s the key point here that people tend to not realize. We didn’t steal Ogerpon from Kieran, we just stole his fantasy and made it our reality.
With my obsession with princess Luna (again, whiplash), if anyone said they loved princess Luna it was a fucking attack on me. Princess Luna was my best friend, and she could only love me! Everyone else was just a jealous thief.
As an adult looking back on this mindset, it’s horribly embarrassing. It’s a mindset I carried into my real life, when I actually started making friends, that ruined so much for me. I lost friends because I was so angry that my fantasies were not reciprocated. I really do think Kieran does the same. He grows sad and frustrated over what happened with Ogerpon. His fantasy is just a fantasy, and that’s fucking with him. So naturally, he finds a new fantasy to, hopefully in his mind, make a reality. And so he chose battling and winning against you. The thing we used to “steal” Ogerpon away from him (Even though Kieran technically suggested battling for Ogerpon, I don’t doubt he used it to rationalize why she didn’t want to come with him). To him, being the best battler will solve everything. Kieran will get his revenge, he’ll finally be recognized, everyone can’t lie to him because they fear or admire him, and he’ll prove to Ogerpon he was the right choice.
.
Now, I want to say something about Kieran. A detail that, for whatever reason, people don’t like to acknowledge: He’s just a kid.
I’m not saying “He’s a widdle baby. He can do no harm!” No, Kieran’s an asshole. He became a bully. I can have empathy for his emotions, but not excuse his actions. He’s a dumb and entitled teenager with issues. And, quite obviously, he doesn’t really have a way to deal with his issues in a healthy manner (seriously, his school is based solely on battling. Anyone who’s going or gone to a specialized school can understand how toxic people can get in that type of environment. And don’t even get me started on the incompetence of the adults in Kieran’s school).
Kieran is a teenage boy growing up right now. He’s got a lot to work through, and a lot of people he’s gotta confront about his behavior. He was an asshole, a bully, and genuinely a bad person for minute. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t growing past that. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve recognition for his growth. You can recognize someone has changed and not forgive them.
Kieran is a really intriguing character and holds a valuable lesson in obsession. And I really wish people would recognize that he’s not just an irredeemable prick or an innocent little guy. He’s a kid learning. He’s going to make really stupid and bad mistakes. Just like how I, and probably you reading this, did.
Anyways, hopefully we see him interact with the Area Zero buddies. I think those three have amazing lessons that Kieran can learn from. Maybe Kieran can teach them a few things too!
#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#the teal mask#the indigo disk#pokémon#pokemon kieran#kieran#ogerpon#hey thanks for reading my rambles!#I’m really hoping with the epilogue that gamefreak doesn’t use the peach to excuse his actions#but I think the peach only enhances negative emotions that were already there#idk we’ll have to see!#hopefully the writing isn’t too incoherent
332 notes
·
View notes
Note
I gotta see a part of yandere Leon where reader remembers him as they get through los Iluminados maybe some yandere in action lol (at least only if you want to!)
part 1. part 3. part 4.
tw :: obsessive!leon, yandere!leon, mention of drugs, framing, handcuffs, stalking, trauma, guns, wounds, heights, being locked up.
⸺ ooooooo !!! i've been meaning to make a part 2 of my last ask, but had zero idea where to go from where i ended. i also had played a bit of RE2 before the remake came out recently, so a piece of my brain has been kept up in raccoon city for a little while. i would love to express my thoughts and mesh these two games together !!
let's start with where we left off in los iluminados.
upon having your handcuffs taken off by the stranger who is far too close for comfort, you pace backwards, far away as you can get from this insanity of a man. his attitude abruptly shifts into something softer, a major contrast to the emotional breakdown he had just seconds prior. he realizes you're afraid — afraid of him. and as much as the mere thought destroys him to the point of breaking down again, he shoves a sob back down his throat and keeps his distance, despite how desperately he wishes to close it.
6 years. 6 years. he has been waiting over 2,190 miserable days for this single moment. all the sleepless nights spent searching the world for you; all the hopeless nights spent clinging to pillows, praying by some miracle it will somehow become you. every second of these past 6 years has been spent dreaming of this single moment. and even though your reunion wasn't the teary-eyed, passionate kiss in the rain he had hoped for, you are still here with him nonetheless.
and like hell will he let you slip from his grasp again.
with as much time as his needy self would grant him being physically away from you, he is soon at your side. leon then wraps you in his jacket and you swear you hear a harsh gasp escape from him when his finger accidentally makes contact with the skin of your neck. despite your negligence and more-than-obvious discomfort, you do appreciate the new warm embrace after a week of cold rain and damp clothes. it smells exactly like him, as well.
and with that, he's got a gentle hand hovering over your lower back as he guides you through the depths of this hellhole. and piece by piece, memories that had been buried in your brain begin to disinter themselves.
for example, you got a staring problem bro?? for the entirety of the time you spend with leon in los iluminados, there is literally never a single moment where this mans eyes are not on you. half of the time it is to ensure you are unharmed, but the other half consists of him staring in complete and utter awe. it's kind of hard to focus on surviving when leon is constantly staring into your soul. but it has just been so fucking long since he has been able to see you in all of your glory, so please excuse him for any inappropriate behavior on his end.
also, you knew you have lived in raccoon city for a short period of time before the events of RE2 happened, but like everything else that relates to that damned place, you couldn't remember a thing.
except now. leon's gaze uncovers a memory you have of yourself being held in one of the RPD holding cells. the atrocious scent, the uncomfortable bench, the paint peeling from the walls. you try and scrutinize what on earth you could have been arrested for, but your attempts are merely futile. but unbeknownst to you, your arrest was nothing but bullshit. and to say leon has had a crush on you from the second you moved into RC would be nothing short of the truth. so, by pulling some strings, the rookie had managed to lock you up for what he calls 'bonding time'. he'll place a chair backwards in front of your cell, prop his arms on the backrest and admire you with your full attention finally on him (instead of just stalking you around town).
two things you now remember about this man: he was so adorably baby-faced back then and my god, was he awkward. he still cannot talk for shit and i mean this with my whole heart. his sweet, innocent eyes gaze at you while he tries to play it cool, pulling cards like "yeah, i workout" and "you come here often?". all as if he hadn't personally arrested you for possession of illegal substances he planted himself. (nothing will happen to you, obvi. he just desperately needed a second alone with you to show off how charismatic he can be. or try to be, at least).
and for the short second of seeing him after 6 years, his eyes were just devoid of any life. you had assumed the trauma inflicted from that night had caused such a contrast in his physical appearance, and you would be right to assume that. but the soulless eyes, monotone voice, and lackluster personality was entirely due to your disappearance. days upon days of the lonely, eternal torment destroyed his sanity. however, that illustrious boy you can barely remember seems to have returned with your presence.
another thing you can't believe you had forgotten was how intense his stare is. the way he stares is illegible and sometimes overwhelming. he shivers in his stance, whimpers at your every move, and his mind runs rampant with all sorts of obsessive declarations of love. although it may seem creepy to others and especially yourself, do not fret. he has no ill intent towards you, god he could never! this puppy-dog of a man is simply marveling at your sheer existence.
you are able to retrieve another lost memory when you have to jump from a window and into his arms (for those who say he won't be able to catch you, stfu. have ya'll seen how beefy his arms are??? anyways....). the secret agent you have grown to like during your stay in los iluminados jumps down marvelously (most def showing off his james-bond-esque agilities to you). he now watches from below as you stare at the distance beneath you in trepidation. this distrust you have — he is going to travel to the ends of the universe to fix it. no matter what.
you begin to ponder, he has savagely brutalized all threats in your path and held your hand as if he were holding the world all in the same breath. you should trust him, especially after witnessing the pure display of loyalty he has for you.
"don't be afraid, y/n. i'll catch you, i promise!" there is 10000% a way to walk through the house and down the stairs to get to him, but ofc he's not gonna tell you. why would he willingly throw away the opportunity to be your knight in shining armor?
"you will?" your voice is full of apprehension. his stare on you feels like the same bullets he's forced upon your attackers.
"always."
with that, you rip the bandaid off and jump from the ledge. and leon was most certainly not lying. you land safely in his embrace and he wraps his arms tightly around your form. and to finally have you so close, after so, so long of devastatingly praying he could feel you once more.......... if he had a tail, it would for sure be wagging so fast it would morph into a blur. and the way he holds you is different, as if his gentle nature is reserved for you and you only (which it is. this is literally him in a nutshell).
and when you had instinctively buried your face into his neck upon landing, clinging to him out of fear of hitting the ground, he literally melts. i'm serious, he literally just 🫠🫠🫠🫠. the faint hum of laughter and adoration that escapes his throat breaks you out of your state of shock. you made it safely to the ground without breaking every bone in your body, hooray! (as if there is a single reality in existence where leon would ever allow that to happen, but i digress).
you meet his gaze and there is that all-too familiar stare he gives you. leon's arms holding onto you like a lifeline uncovers a memory you have of yourself being held like this all those years ago. you can't recall exactly where in raccoon city you were, but you can remember how humiliated you were when you tripped over a crack in the pavement and ate shit. there was the fairest of scrapes against your shin, but the mortification hurt far more than any wound. while you dust yourself off and attempt to ignore the burning stares of pedestrians, a shout of your name sparks your attention.
the RPD gear and besotted eyes you're met with could be no other than that baby-faced rookie. you ponder of what he was doing on this side of town. was it a simple coincidence you had run into each other? or perhaps, had he followed you? just when you think you can't feel more embarrassed, leon gets down on one knee and dramatically inspects your wound. and my god, he acts like you were shot or something. he visibly shudders from the sight of your leg; people begin to gather around the commotion. with pure ease, he then scoops you into his arms to bring you to safety. you can feel his heart pound like a machine gun beneath the palm of your hand.
despite the humiliation deprived from this event, you fortunately are free from anything mortifying in los iluminados. however, leon doesn't seem to understand when to take a hint.
"uh... you can put me down now." you come out of your memory to thrash in his grasp and avoid his intense gaze, but your prince charming seems to still be caught in his y/n-filled daze.
after a few long seconds, your comment seems to finally reach his brain. "huh?" his response is faint and you almost don't hear it.
you repeat yourself and begrudgingly, leon then slowly puts you back onto your feet, savoring the last few seconds spent with you in his arms. exactly where you belong. you can only fear how much more suffocating affection you'll have to endure before you can finally remember what happened that night.
i think someone legit needs to slap me across the face and bring me back into reality cause holy shit...... i went WAYY too far with this. my brain is a mess thank u for reading.
i have more thoughts about this........ just incase u were curious........ ;)
#resident evil 4#re4#re4 remake#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy imagine#yandere leon kennedy#yandere resident evil#yandere#gn reader#gender neutral reader#venus’ brain#moonfairy
2K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
queen-ofyourbodyparts
Aphrodite
marijuanalust
🌼Sunshine&Whiskey🌼
norhanibrahim
Nor🍀
hetaliansofayrus-blog
Welcome Home