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jonsa101 · 3 years

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Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.

Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!

Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.

The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.

“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”

This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!

For example:

Oliva and Fitz

Cristina Yang and Burke

Cookie and Lucious

Ghost and Tasha

There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as

“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”

Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men?

Let’s dive into it.

Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as

“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”

Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.

Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!

Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.

Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer. Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!

Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?

Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own.

That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER

I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.

So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale

#new amsterdam #sharpwin #This Is US #max goodwin #helen sharpe #randall pearson #beth pearson #georgia goodwin #pacey witter #joey x pacey #new amsterdam meta

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izukyu · 4 years

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𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐯𝐚𝐬 - keigo takami x reader

this is a birthday gift for my crackhead wine aunt, @waddle-yee. katie i love u so much it’s unreal! i hope you enjoy the crumbs m’lady!

reblogs are appreciated bc i worked really hard on this, heart eyes.

pairing - keigo takami (hawks) x reader.

word count - 2.3k.

warnings - very vague manga spoilers for pro hero arc, possibly ooc hawks, swearing, and just. a lot of fluff.

summary - hawks needed to gain the public’s hearts once again, and attending a charity event seemed like the way to go, but falling for the cute artist in charge of him wasn’t something he planned on.

★ - requests are open

“your ratings are falling, hawks”

being bothered during his lunch break wasn’t something keigo was particularly fond of. the one time of the day he could let loose in his office, ruined.

“is that so?” he could only hope his agent would understand his words in the midst of his chewing, making a point he was only half-interested in the newsletter.

“the hero public safety commission reached out, you need to get your approval up again before they intervene.”

keigo gulped.

what a mouthful. they were never good news - the last time keigo met with them he was deployed as a spy, for crying out loud. needless to say, he was still their subordinate, and rejecting their demands was nothing more than a heavenly reverie.

“so, got any ideas?” keigo put down his plastic plate, lamenting the unfinished state of lunch.

“well, there’s this charity event coming up, and they’re calling for - ”

“i’m in! send me the time and place and i’ll be there,” sadly. it’s not like he had any personal vendettas with charity events or the public per se, but the simple fact he had to be shoved into one to please his superiors was enough to leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

next time he’d attend to one of his own accords.

“i’ll send it to you by email.”

keigo gave the poor intern a frown, his eyebrows drawn. “just send me a text, sheesh.”

maybe if he had paid more attention to the text then maybe he wouldn’t be stuck in this quandary of graphite and stillness

“you do this to every guy you meet?”

you scoffed, eyes never once leaving the canvas before you. “yes, every model i work with is required to stand still, if that’s what you were wondering.”

keigo was glad he put on a smile from the start, or else you would’ve chewed him out for moving too much.

the event was still a couple weeks away, but portraits don’t grow on trees. in all fairness, keigo was a killer model - every magazine featuring him sells out within the hour, and the photographers he’s worked with never fail to shower him in compliments and praise.

his charm didn’t seem to carry on to drawings, apparently. as you’d put it before, he was but ‘an over-energetic city pigeon that would chase around little kids for fun at every given opportunity’.

oddly specific, but it got a chuckle out of him.

“i’m almost done, so just stand still for a little longer.”

“won’t be a problem, dove, i’m already a pro,” keigo had to suppress another snicker as you hid behind the canvas, your face growing warm at the dumb pet name. another tally for hawks in his imaginary scoreboard. although standing still for longer than ten minutes wasn’t something he could see himself doing ever again, teasing you would definitely be a must in the near future.

anything for your flushed, annoyed expression.

“your wing did the thing again.”

of course it did. keigo wailed silently, dreading the sound of your pencil meeting the cotton before you, scratching and imposing.

the passing of time seemed like a foreign concept the longer he posed in front of you, amber eyes preying on you. every movement, every speck of graphite staining your hands, forever engraved in his mind. you didn’t question his sudden quietness, too engrossed in finishing the first of many portraits you’d have to make for the event.

would every other hero be as jittery and energetic as the man standing before you?

would every other hero grow uneasy at the idea of standing still for no longer than fifty minutes?

“alright, you’re good to go.”

startled, keigo nearly fell off the small stool. “oh, was that all?”

you felt your eye twitch, choosing to ignore his wit, “it’s weird to think your portrait will probably go beyond five digits, someone’s gonna willingly pay to have those bushy eyebrows in their living room.”

keigo choked on his spit, coughs laced with laughter overruling the silence of the studio. “where did that come from?”

with a shrug and a triumphant smirk, you start to usher him out of your studio, “it had to be said, but you’re still cute, so i wouldn’t count it as a loss!” there were projects that needed your undivided attention and care, some with scary deadlines, and a birdman wasn’t exactly someone you needed to prioritize now. “see you at the event, yeah?”

“wait, hey, i wanna see what it looks like - ”

“no can do, have a great afternoon!”

before he could protest, he was already out and gone from your studio, the door nearly slamming on his wings. without much thinking, he turned around, his knuckles grazing against the door repeatedly. “c’mon, not even a sneak peak? i promise i won’t tell!”

someone clearing their throat behind him tore keigo away from the piece of wood in a heartbeat.

“endeavor-san, nice meeting you here! y’see, i left something inside, and i was just knocking so - “

“i don’t want to know.”

what was it with today and everyone interrupting him?

keigo snapped his fingers, “copy that.” from the corner of his eyes he spotted a neat pile of presentation cards, almost begging to be noticed and put to use.

fine, if you didn’t feel like letting him into your heart he’d just have to irk you over text.

knowing better than to bother endeavor again, keigo simply stepped out of the room, his fingers eagerly keying in the digits into his cellphone.

spoiler alert, it wasn’t you who texted him back, but your assistant was a delight, and set him up for another session after the event.

keigo has a strong, abhorrent opinion on wearing suits. they’re stuffy, constricting, and make his wings itch more than normal. despite having a custom-made, tailored suit, the sentiment of being under lock and key only ever went away as soon as he lost the jacket and shirt. something he couldn’t quite do in an event like this.

“what do you mean they’re running late?”

your second in command sighed, eyes still glued on their phone. from the brief texts they had shared, keigo would be proud to admit they’d found a friend in your friend, if that made any sense. “there were some supplies left in the studio, had to run back to get ‘em.”

keigo sighed. just what he needed in this trying time.

“but the portraits are already up if you want to check them out.”

oh.

among the sea of bidders inspecting the canvases on display, keigo’s feeble attempts to get a closer look were fruitless. his wings usually gave leverage when his height failed to do so, but flapping in such a close environment would bring more trouble than it’s worth.

with a defeated sigh (admitting to lacking in height was… disheartening) two of his feathers flew down to his feet, giving him the small boost he needed.

he most certainly didn’t expect to come face-to-face with himself.

minutes passed, and keigo remained under a trance. it was simplistic, the graphite morphing to cast an umbra on portrait-hawks. he could picture almost perfectly the light and shadow dancing together in both the canvas up for bidding and your skilled hands, the same ones that had left a nasty smudge on the back of his coat.

lo and behold, you were right, his unruly eyebrows were rather prominent.

“sorry for the delay, the traffic was horrible and the cab - don’t get me started on the cab,” you ranted as you walked through the busy hall, chanting apologies left and right. “the auction hasn’t started yet, right?”

“no, but there’s someone waiting for you.”

you furrowed your eyebrows. the people attending were either eager to see their favorite heroes in ritzy clothing or aching to take one of them home - in a canvas, of course. “don’t get me wrong, i love getting the work going, but i swear these deadlines are gonna be the death of me.”

“no need to fret,” keigo stepped down from his feathers, and you couldn’t quite read the expression on his face. happy? tired? finally becoming the paragon of tenderhearted? “i’m part of your schedule already, booked a sesh and all.”

“... you mean the one I just cancelled?”

his wings drooped almost comically, “the one you just what?”

teasingly, you pushed him back, consequently making him bump into someone else. “i’m just messing around, i’m actually looking forward to it.” you could only watch as he gave the person a brief apology, posing for a selfie milliseconds after. heroes.

“is that so? i thought i was a bad subject,” keigo tugged at his collar, making a mental note to burn the shit out of the suit once home.

“the worst, actually,” more people began migrating to the opposite side of the room before the auction started. “but you’re fun to be around, so i’ll manage.”

keigo couldn’t contain his smile this time. it wasn’t his signature snigger you’d have flooding your timeline after his photo sessions, rather just a simple, genuine tug of his lips.

“and maybe you’re kinda pretty, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

and just like that, the warm smile contorted into a smug smirk. “you got me there, dove! wasn’t expecting that to come out of your pretty mouth.”

you huffed, diving to give his cheek a good pinch before dragging him to follow the rest of the guests. “that’s one creepy way to phrase it. now take a seat, i’ve got to hand out a couple of endeavors and edgeshots.”

keigo, still savoring the compliment like a kid would with a sweet, took an extra second to process those words. “they got more than one?”

cut to his second private session. five minutes after your scheduled lunch break, some leftover fries and ice cream exiled to your desk.

“alright, something’s on your mind.”

keigo remained stationary. this time it was just a mere pencil in your hand, waltzing on the canvas without a worry on its nonexistent mind. calculated. precise. free. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

you sighed, tucking the pencil behind your ear, sparing the finished sketch a last glance before walking to the brooding bird before you. “your wings, they’re not doing the thing.”

“and what about it?”

“well, for one, it was much easier to jot them down, i can assure you they’ll look great once i paint them,” keigo shuddered as you stood closer, how did you even get a lead stain on your cheek? “but i think i know you well enough to deduce something’s up. you’re not even being a cocky cockatiel.”

keigo let out a long, long sigh. “i’m not a cockatiel.”

“and you’re not being yourself. c’mon, why’d you even come here if you’re just gonna be grumpy?”

a brief flash of cold, burning blue clouded his mind. “work’s getting to me, i guess.”

you weren’t a pro hero of any sorts, the only context you had regarding that chaotic world would come from whatever hashtag was trending, and the occasional hero dropping by your studio to talk business. nevertheless, you knew how to spot and comfort a gloomy friend.

“you wanna paint yourself?”

“what?”

that seemed to get his attention, and it brought a smile to your face. you bit your lip eagerly, “i need to go get some paints, but you look like you need some cheering up, so you’re not leaving this room without painting your own portrait”

keigo’s lip trembled involuntarily, your words tugging at his already-soft heart. “i’ve never - i’ve never touched a paintbrush in my life.”

“woah, not even at school?”

“homeschooled.”

your hand moved on its own, ruffling his naturally messy hair. “i’ll get you acrylic paint.”

he could only tap his foot anxiously in your absence, running a hand across his face. the commission, as per usual, found great joy to bother him through day and night, almost as if his suffering tickled their ribs. keigo wouldn’t mind playing the part of the asshole kid who took tickling way too far when it came to them, hero regulations and spy work be damned.

not to mention the dust-up he had with a certain cremated acquaintance a couple days back, leaving him featherless and vulnerable for a whole day.

but as you approached him once again, a number of paints cradled in your arms and pockets, keigo could feel the weight in his shoulders slowly mitigating.

“okay, what do you think feels like the way to go?”

thankfully, his wings could twitch to their content while wearing your apron. he would’ve been just fine painting without any safety measures, but your flabbergasted expression urged him to realize clothes are expensive.

keigo gripped the paintbrush with one hand, the other holding a red paint tube, “this can’t be rocket science, i got this.”

your boisterous laughter as he squeezed some paint straight into the paintbrush told him that maybe it was rocket science after all.

“it’s not a toothbrush, keigo!” god, he loved his name rolling off your tongue.

“oh my god, next time try cleaning the paintbrush before you start to paint with another color.” he was certain your giggles could keep him going through endless crimes and stacks of paperwork.

“hey, that’s cute, you’re using different colors for your suit.”

keigo chuckled, “can’t have the piss color scheme spicing up my living room.”

that was the final straw, and you both rightfully lost it. leaning into each other to prevent falling to the floor as a result of raw elation. even your snorts were adorable, your babbling a melody to his ears, and shrieks of amusement making his heart thump faster.

at the end of the day, keigo left the studio with a gorgeous painting, as you’d generously put it. the first time he’d truly felt unbound to everything to be forever remembered with a mess of colors and sloppy strokes hanging proudly atop his bed.

the first time keigo ever felt truly free on canvas.

★ - check out the rest of my works!

★ - wanna get tagged in my stuff?

general: @brattyquirks @quirkless-fics @tooloudarts @bringingpinkbac-k @thewaterlily @kittyatemytaco @nyantodamax145 @iachan03 @imconfusedanditsok @nishigo @torrpe @bakugo-baby @lovingshoto @yuueimagines @shigarakis-fifth-hand @uwus-for-bnha

hawks: @witchy-anna

#bnha x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #takami x reader #hawks #keigo takami #keigo #takami #mha x reader

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hellsbellschime · 3 years

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I was wondering if you could do an analysis on Sansas and Daenerys interactions in 8x02?

Totes, because I think it’s an extremely interesting character interplay that needed more development and that was either actually rife with subtext and just written really poorly or it was just dumb. But while I wish there had been more development for literally everything in season 8, I think that the dynamic between Dany and Sansa needed far more room to breathe and grow given that their incredibly brief relationship is one of the main catalysts for the climax of the story.

Jaime’s whole “trial” scene is one that I really wish we had been able to see the lead up to, because while the drama of starting off the episode with it is certainly compelling, I’d honestly really like to know how everyone even got to that point in the first place. Like, Dany is furious that Cersei has betrayed her and lied to her about her intentions... except how exactly does that square up to someone who came to a truce with their enemy and then immediately arrests them and puts them on trial when they actually follow through on their end of the bargain?

However, looking beyond that there is not just Dany vs. Sansa, it’s kind of Dany vs. Team Stark. Dany lays out all of the reasons why Jaime deserves to be punished and Sansa actually completely agrees with her and says she completely understands how she feels, but then Brienne speaks in Jaime’s defense and Sansa immediately agrees that Jaime should stay. Now as viewers we understand what Sansa is doing here, but I think that Dany does not. I think that this may be a sort of crucial moment for what happens later, because someone who is unfamiliar with Sansa but sees that she is popular among the Northerners might come to the easiest conclusion, which is that Sansa is easily manipulated, weak willed, or likes to agree with people and thus everyone kind of likes her even though she’s the type of person who shouldn’t really be seen as important or authoritative.

But when Dany kind of ropes Jon into it I think it’s even more interesting, and once again could be an implication that she doesn’t understand people who put the interests of others before themselves. Because way back when Melisandre told Dany to invite Jon to Dragonstone, Tyrion tries to sell her on it by explaining that the Lannisters have treated the Starks even worse than they theoretically treated her, so they have even more reason to want to see their downfall. So I think she inquires about Jon’s thoughts expecting her to agree with him, because quite frankly it’s just not in her wheel house to put the needs of others before her own. But he winds up agreeing to let him stay, and she feels peer pressured into acquiescing when she really doesn’t want to. That really puts her on the back foot and makes her extremely uncomfortable because it’s something she never does, and it’s basically taking her whole fantasy of conquering Westeros and destroying her enemies and basically forces her to give it up for the sake of maintaining her own mystique.

So she’s super pissed and Jorah talks her down, and while once again the show cuts away from shit that we actually need to see, it’s fair to assume that he said something along the lines of Sansa is Regina George and you’re currently Janis Ian, so you need to go talk to her and charm her into liking you and the rest of the Northerners will fall in line. So, Dany follows his advice and tries to actually talk to Sansa and to get her to see her as the Enlightened Despot she imagines herself to be.

Frankly, the conversation between Sansa and Dany is extremely weird and vapid on the surface, but I think it makes sense within a certain context. Namely, that Sansa and Dany both have very clear preconceived notions about each other, however Sansa’s assumptions are generally correct while Dany’s assumptions are completely incorrect.

Obviously at this point, Sansa isn’t being fooled by charm, and Dany unfortunately reveals herself to Sansa in completely unintentional ways that she doesn’t realize are actually really hurting Sansa’s perception of her. Dany is here to conquer Westeros and force the North into submission, and maybe I’m overestimating Sansa’s political genius here, but what I find extremely interesting is that Dany asks Sansa why they’re at odds with each other but she doesn’t answer. She waits for Dany to answer, and Dany’s answer frankly gives Sansa an enormous political and manipulative advantage by letting her know that she assumes Sansa would not like an invader with dragons and an army the size of a city because she’s jealous that Dany has her brother’s attention.

And yes, of course, Sansa loves Jon and is likely extremely concerned, but I just cannot believe that Sansa is being genuine in this conversation. This is the woman who had to convince Jon to accept the inevitability of their baby brother dying because focusing on saving him was an existential threat to their family and the North. I cannot believe that she would have more issues with the potential safety and manipulation of her brother who was a king, Lord Commander, and survived with wildlings beyond the wall than she would over Rickon. Not to mention, the notion that at this very moment when the North is on the brink of destruction and everyone is facing down the apocalypse, but somehow Sansa is concerned about the person that Jon may or may not be smashing, is an incredibly condescending and childish assumption to make about her.

However, Dany does seem to make that assumption. Dany’s whole impression of Sansa seems to initially be that she’s just a catty and frivolous girl, and she seems to think that assuring Sansa that her super cute new crush is the one who really has her wrapped around his finger is enough to reassure her that everything’s fine and that that’s enough for Sansa to accept Dany as queen.

But then Sansa quickly flips the script and asks about Northern independence, which I honestly think was a mistake on her part. Dany initially saw Sansa just like Cersei and Joffrey and Tyrion and the Tyrells and every other person saw her, as just a superficial idiot who can be easily managed and bent to someone else’s will. I understand why Sansa would never want to play that game again, but it also left her in an enormously advantageous position, and letting Dany know that she was actually very politically minded was not the right move at that moment. But of course, because this is the season of constantly interrupted interesting conversations, as soon as the discussion turns political it’s interrupted.

Now, what I think is very interesting about Dany is her desire to essentially acquire special people. She wants Tyrion, the “most brilliant man in the kingdoms”, to be her hand. She knows he’s exceptional, and she wants to basically own him. And she goes through the same thing with Jon. She perceives her feelings towards him as love, but I think she really knows nothing about him and just thinks that he’s extraordinary enough to be worthy of her and therefore they must be in love with each other. Dany sees herself as a person unlike any other, with no equal in existence or history, so when people fawn all over her or give her unquestioned loyalty it’s nothing more than what she expects, but when literally anyone seems to care about or respect someone more than they do her, she doesn’t understand it and often sees it as some kind of a betrayal.

So when Theon shows up to fight for the Starks, she doesn’t necessarily seem mad, but she is clearly baffled, especially because she has already categorized Sansa as someone not special. If she thought Sansa were special or important enough to warrant her attention, Jorah wouldn’t have had to tell her to go try to be friends. But when Theon arrives and asks Sansa to fight for her, she doesn’t get it because in her mind Sansa is not worthy of that kind of devotion because she’s too ordinary, and the fact that someone is prioritizing Sansa over her right in front of her face really puts her off. And what seemingly makes this interchange dangerous is that Dany’s reaction to seeing this doesn’t seem to be a desire to actually understand where it stems from, but seems to result in the immediate conclusion that Sansa herself must be stopped (which is an idea that Dany toyed with in the season premiere as well, but I think it only solidified that idea for her further).

But I think that Sansa and Theon’s interaction here is obviously fascinating as well, both in relation to Dany and in general. Honestly, that kind of raw emotion and vulnerability is something that people in GoT rarely display around one another, and I can’t even think of another instance of Dany actually witnessing two people who genuinely love each other emotionally connect in that way. That’s not generally a way that she feels about a lot of people, and in her world, she is always the center of attention. So even if there are people in her orbit who love each other, she never really sees that. I actually think Emilia’s expression captures that perfectly as well, she both seems put off but unsure of how to react and borderline unsure of WTF it is that she’s actually seeing, because again, it’s pretty abnormal to see people be that emotionally open in public anyway and because it’s something that Dany is completely unaccustomed to seeing when it’s not directed towards her.

And of course, for Sansa and Theon as a pair, it’s extremely heartwarming and emotional to see how deeply they care for one another, and it’s even more touching to realize how powerfully they have had to repress their own emotions for so long and that they have now gotten to the point where they’re so completely unashamed and completely lacking in self consciousness that they’re willing to be that raw no matter who’s looking.

Overall, despite the massive flaws of season 8, I do have to say that the scenes between Dany and Sansa are some of my favorite and I wish we had gotten so much more out of them. I actually think the performance chemistry between Emilia and Sophie is better than nearly every other character that Dany was introduced to late in the game, and I think it was a huge mistake to not explore that more and to not fully clarify that these two literal queens are not bickering over a boy’s attention.

#Anonymous #sansa stark #anti daenerys targaryen #dark!daenerys #got #got meta #sansa stark meta #daenerys targaryen meta #meta

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kneamet · 3 years

Text

Angel of cards (12/16)

Trigger Warning: no.

Summary: Joker, Mr. J, anarchist psychopath, Tom Hiddleston. He had many nicknames. Joker was Gotham’s most dangerous and insightful man, with sharp makeup and horribly memorable scars on his face in the form of a smile. He was absolutely crazy and deadly. No one knows his real identity and everyone is afraid of his cruel jokes. But what happens when he becomes obsessed with an ordinary girl?

She belongs to him. No one can take her away from him. Even The Batman.

Chapter twelve: point of no return

"So Harvey Dent didn't make it home," the Gotham Police Commissioner said in a calm, but slightly anxious, and broken voice.

Gordon's brow furrowed and he only drew it closer to the bridge of his nose, clasping his hands together. The Joker, who was now in the room with the lights off and James, only smiled slightly.

Did this wonderful commissar have any negative feelings for him? It's really wonderful, really. The Joker, just the Joker, always found Gordon a very nice and interesting person. In the Komi Republic, to be more precise, the only person in whom that very piece of light remained in a dark and unenlightened city.

Even Batman himself, this personification of "kindness and honor" was more likely... just a toy that, although it wanted to protect Gotham from crime, but which will definitely cross the very point of no return and madness... He just needs to be pushed to do it.

"Of course not," the Joker said, smiling. Damn, he thought, starting to brush his scars more. The handcuffs, which rubbed the skin and made it difficult to touch the scars, were extremely difficult. And why are they so big?

"What did you do to him?" in a steely voice, without ceasing to be serious, the man asked, to which the Joker raised his eyebrows and made an actor's surprised face, slightly opening his mouth.

Although he couldn't hide the fact that Gordon liked him too much. He looked a lot like the Joker's father. Not at his stepfather, not at his beloved mother's boyfriends, but at his own father, who always helped him until he died.

The Joker didn't really remember the cause of his father's death. Either because of the accident, or he was killed in an alley, or he committed suicide himself. He didn't remember. I was too small then. Nor did his mother help him to console himself afterward.

"I? I was here," the Joker clearly said, gesturing at Gordon, who was concentrating, unlike the man himself, on absorbing all the information that was being conveyed to him. "Who did you leave him with? With your people?" The Joker smacked his lips, starting to scratch his hands and trying to make it not visible. Unfortunately, his gloves were taken away. What an injustice, isn't it?

"If they're still your people, of course, not Moroni," the damn Italian guy, who's playing the hell out of himself. The same to me, a criminal authority, that even during the day is afraid to attack.

The Joker smiled at Gordon, who took a deep breath. That's right, contempt. Yes, and a misunderstanding. Didn't they understand that he wanted to make the world a better place? And that was the difference between him and Batman.

"It doesn't bother you, Commissioner... realizing how lonely you really are? " loneliness... what do these people know about real loneliness and misunderstanding? That's right, nothing. Although, when you get lost and all your loved ones abandon you, you realize that it's time for the exodus. "Do you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current situation?" it was a quick throw-in. He didn't care about Harvey Dent, though. Yes, he was also interesting, but if you compare all his advantages with those of Gordon, you can immediately understand who has more of that light in the dark.

"Where is he?" it was obvious that Gordon was trying to restrain himself and not yell at the criminal present, with whom he had to babysit and interrogate. It's just a pity that James didn't know that this most ruthless criminal had saved him.

"What time is it?" he asked quickly, trying to distract attention.

"What's the difference?" asked Gordon, seemingly oblivious to the Joker's random throw-ins.

"Depending on the time, he may be in one place or several," he said, prioritizing and moving his cuffed hands as if to indicate something.

"Since we decided to play games... I'll get a cup of coffee," Gordon jerked his chair around, which was a little jarring, and headed for the lighted door, tugging on the handle.

"The game' good cop, bad cop', guess what? " the criminal smiled and straightened his green hair with shaking hands.

"Not really," Jim smiled for the first time. A pleasant smile, Joker noted, just like his father's.

***

"Daddy, daddy, look, I'm a pirate!" exclaimed the little curly-haired boy, drawing from his bosom a small sword as tall as he was, and pointing at his father with it. The boy towered over his father, standing on the couch.

The man just smiled sweetly. He considered his son the most important thing in his life. A ray of sunshine, not a child. A kid who deserves better.

The man's smile faded for a second. His mind began to recognize the unpleasant thoughts and he looked away, looking at his hand, which had only a couple of badges left on it. One week or seven days left. Not much to catch up on.

"You will be my navigator," the boy said proudly, sheathing his sword in an imaginary scabbard. The man smiled and knelt ostentatiously, raising his hands in the air as if in surrender.

"But who are you, my dear boy Tom?" asked his father, with a mocking smile. Tom smiled fondly and drew his sword again, pointing upward.

"I'm your captain, and if you don't listen to me, I'll kill you!" the boy exclaimed loudly, raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes wider with excitement. He poked his father with his sword, and the latter, like an actor, fell from his knees, falling down as if struck by a toy sword.

"Dad, are you okay?" Tom threw the sword aside and ran to his father, sitting on his knees and leaning forward to face him. The man lay motionless until he suddenly opened his eyes abruptly and raised his hands to his son's sides, whose gaze changed from alarmed to smiling-frightened.

"Gotcha, little imp," the father whispered softly, beginning to tickle his son. There was a loud laugh from little Tom that couldn't be stopped.

***

"Where are Dent and Blake?" a loud bass voice asked, as if driven through an auto-tune. The Joker looked up. That's right, Batman, how could he forget that he was here.

Oh, how harsh he is now. It's like something out of a superhero movie that Tom loved so much when he was a kid.

Wait, did he say his angel's name? His favorite angel? How dare he, no one can say her name, only himself. And this guy in tights. More precisely, it wasn't a leotard, but it wasn't important at all.

But now he needs to be distracted from that. Is he interested in listening to talk about his angel? No, the Joker would definitely talk to Batman about his angel and maybe...

No, Tom! Don't even think about the Joker's favorite angel! It belongs to him, not to you! The Joker shook his head and licked his lips, scratching his head at the same time. That idiot Tom, you don't come here at the right time. Don't stop the adults from talking.

"That's right, don't stop the adults from talking," the Joker muttered as much as possible. It's a good thing that Bruce Wayne, who is hiding under the mask of Batman, does not have such a developed hearing. It's really nice. "These mafia idiots want to take you out... to bring back the past, " he said, blinking rapidly and repeatedly, licking his lips again, and lowering his head, but not taking his eyes off it. "But I know the truth. The situation is not reversible. You changed everything. Forever, " he shook his head and pointed at the man who had slightly opened his mouth with his hand.

"Why do you want to kill me?" what a languid voice, the Joker noted. Is Batman trying to pick him up? Maybe remind him that he has his favorite angel?

"I don't want to kill you," the Joker said, shaking with laughter. His laughter was too crazy, too selfish, too much... "What will I do without you? Robbing the mafia again? " Suddenly, his sudden laughter came to an end. He adjusted his suspenders with his right hand and shook his head. "No, no. No. No you... you complete me, " as if explaining something to a small child, the Joker said, gesturing with his hands again. Wait, did they take the handcuffs off him? He looked down. Really, how nice

"You're a creature who kills for money," Batman said sternly. The Joker saw his lips tighten. Another person expressing contempt for him? What kind of bad luck is this, the Joker asked theatrically in his head.

"Don't talk like everyone else. You're not like that, even though you want to be, " the criminal advised, as if saying something obvious. Well, it might have been obvious to him, but it wasn't obvious to Batman. Although, maybe the Joker was accepting his mental abilities? "To them, you're just crazy... like me. They need you now... and you'll get bored... they'll throw you out like a leper. Their principles, their code... these are just words that are forgotten at the first danger, " the Joker said, watching as Batman's face, or rather only his lower part, twisted his lips more and more.

Oh, dear, dear Bruce Wayne, why are you so angry?

"They are what the world allows them to be. I'll prove it. When things are bad, these... civilized people... they'll eat each other. I'm not a monster. I can see right through them, " obviously, right? Joker thought, but he hardly expected to be taken by the shirt now. Batman, clearly already angry, leaned him against the wall.

"Where are Dent and Blake?" the man spoke through his teeth. The Joker's mouth dropped open. His jaw was shaking.

"You have rules. Do you think you'll be spared? " he asked, holding onto Batman's strong arms. Hell, really strong. What a strong man he is.

"I have one rule," Bruce said, Oh, sorry, Batman, only pushing the Joker harder against the brick wall.

"That's what you'll have to break to find out the truth."

"Which one?" asked Batman, loosening his grip slightly, as if interested. The Joker could feel his scowl.

"The only reasonable way to live in this world is to live without rules. And today you will break your only rule," lowering the Joker to the floor, Batman only put his foot on his body, pinning him down. Oh, the Joker sighed slightly. No, he rarely felt pain, but now it really hurt. It's unpleasant when you squeeze your stomach with a foot made of some kind of plastic. He laughed hysterically, trying to hide the pain he felt from the world. "There are five minutes left, so you'll have to play my game... If you want to save one of them”, just give him a little push, the Joker thought to herself, and he'll be broken.

"'Them'?" there was so much hopelessness in his voice. It seems that this little rich boy has begun to understand something.

"For a moment, I thought you were right, Dent. When he rushed after her," Batman grabbed the Joker's suit again and pushed him painfully onto the table, quickly closing the door with a chair that only hindered them. Let us at least perform some useful function.

"Look, a. Does Harvey know about you and his baby? Are you in love with my angel after all?" Joker asked casually. Rachel, unlike Dent, had never interested him. An ordinary, boring person who reminded him too much of his mother. Her name was Rachel, wasn't it?

"Where are they?!" the man roared, grabbing the Joker again, but this time throwing him to the floor. At this, the criminal only laughed. How funny it is. Same to him, hero.

"Killing is also a choice," the Joker tries to deny, raising his hand and leaning one on the floor.

"Where are they?!"

"Choose," the man delivered the ultimatum, biting his lips lightly and licking them again, hoping that everything was fine with the makeup. Most likely, it is unlikely to wash off. "Your friend, the district attorney, or his beautiful fiancee. Or maybe you want to bring my angel back to you? You have nothing to threaten me with. All your power is useless, " he was acting psychologically on him. He encouraged me to make this choice in every possible way. On this difficult and disturbing choice. A choice that can affect a large number of people.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you where they are. Both. That's the whole point. You'll have to choose," Batman opened his mouth, looking into the eyes of the possessed man.

This is the point of no return. That moment was the tipping point. He will let the darkness into his heart. The hero who, without blinking once at eye contact with the abyss, looked at it directly, looked away for the first time.

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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Hello again, everyone! This is a long one so let’s dive straight in.

We open up on Fox who, like everyone else in this novel, is upset about one thing or another. In his case it's that he wound up watching a club/gambling house (the exact nature of the establishment is murky) with Coco instead of patrolling the more lively restaurant and club district (even though this place, as said, is referred to as a club at time). Which, to be fair to Fox, is a legitimate complaint when you're blind and can't really do the whole "watching" part of the activity. Initially he believes that Coco must have a good reason for choosing him... “Unless he’d done something to get on her bad side."

In fact, this is such a likely possibility that Fox begins questioning Coco on where everyone is (a convenient way to let the audience know too), what they were assigned to do, and whether that assignment came about due to petty revenge. He complains that Team SSSN has gotten all the "fun stuff"—are you doing a job or goofing off, Fox?—but Coco reassures him that they're not being rewarded and he's not being punished. It's just that any other combination didn't sit right with her. Would Fox have enjoyed going off with Sun? No. If Sun was paired with another would they have wanted to watch Neptune? Not really. Does Fox even trust Sun? Not as of yet:

"I don’t know Sun yet. Not really. I guess I don’t trust Team SSSN to not mess things up for us. They’re sloppy and off-balance right now.”

Coco follows this up by saying that Scarlet and Sage get to guard the Academy wall because she doesn't want Scarlet near Sun after their argument at the group therapy meeting, and he himself is "too zealous" about protecting the Academy. So it's just easier not to fight him. “If we don’t want them to get in our way, or worse, raise a big enough stink that we can’t continue our investigation, it’s better to keep them involved in a limited capacity.”

Now, there's a lot to unpack in that statement and I'm not particularly impressed with any of it. First, it bears repeating that we're now four chapters in —about 60 pages in my PDF—and we're still dragging Team SSSN to the shattered moon and back. I'm not claiming that, as Fox says, they're not dealing with stuff right now, or that their emotions are clouding their skills and perception (I called Sun out for that just last chapter), but I certainly question the "friends" who discuss those problems in such a smug manner, rather than wondering if and how they might help. Thus far, the criticism of Team SSSN serves only for Team CFVY to continually paint themselves as the superior group. They assume that, unless handled delicately, SSSN would inevitably "mess things up" because they, at their core, are a worse team than CFVY. These comments exist only to boost CFVY's ego. Thank the gods we're not like that.

This is the same Coco who thought that she knew something about regaining the trust of her team. But does she extend any sympathy and understanding here? Nope. It continues to amaze me how often RWBY writes characters going through very similar, difficult circumstances and yet so few of them admit to those similarities, let alone act on them.

Second, in a franchise rife with themes about earned trust and manipulation, it's worth acknowledging that Coco moves everyone around, including her own team, based on pretty unsubstantiated emotions rather than logic. As someone who has done nothing but insult Sun to his face thus far, she hasn't exactly earned his trust either, yet she's willing to prioritize this assertion that he'll "mess things up" over the best choices for this mission. Meaning, Fox initially thinks that Coco, as a brilliant leader, has a persuasive reason for giving him this task. We learn she doesn't. He then thinks Coco gave him this task as a form of punishment. She didn't. So what are we left with? Coco claims she gave her orders based on her and Fox being able to chat (yay telepathy), but her explanation says it’s really about what she thinks SSSN might do, rather than what she knows her own team can do. At the end of the day (or night in this case) we've got the blind guy on stakeout using his telepathy to keep her entertained, rather than taking the mission he's both better suited for and enjoys more. Coco spouts a lot of stuff that sounds like leader-ly strategy, but in the end she made these calls primarily because she doesn't like SSSN.

So why are they working together again? Because the plot demands it? I wish the novel had done more to justify this partnership other than, 'If we don't let SSSN help they'll rat us out because they're terrible like that.' If the teams hate one another this much just let them work apart. Otherwise, please start the process of having them grow and begin to appreciate one another. As it stands, we have a few buddy-buddy moments that imply they’re “really” friends when the rest of the novel has done little to demonstrate that. It’s confusing at best and uncomfortable at worst, in the same way that watching the group happily invite Oscar to the movies after volumes of ignoring/attacking/using him as an Ozpin scapegoat is uncomfortable. It’s weird. I’m glad it exists, but how did we get here?

However, this growth isn’t going to happen tonight because Coco likewise ensured that no one is mixing. As Fox points out, "conveniently enough, this way you don’t have to break up our team, or mix them and us.” Nor has Coco broken up the usual partner teams of Sun and Neptune, Scarlet and Sage. Anyone who follows my other metas know that I'm waiting for the webseries to mix up RWBY and JNR more (thank you, Volume 8 preview), or at least have Blake work with someone other than Yang and Weiss work with someone other than Ruby, so I was disappointed to see this same trend not only repeated here, but celebrated by another character. Though not as overt as some of the problems in Volumes 6 and 7, this is what I mean by RWBY introducing conflicts but doing little to resolve them. It's a decent setup to pit SSSN's problems against CFVY's bias—When will Sun apologize to his team? When will Coco acknowledge that her intense criticism of him is born far more from assumptions than proof? When will both teams extend a hand to one another that isn't done in the name of self-preservation?—but thus far it's nothing but setup. And the longer it goes on the less a single scene of growth can stand up against that. The less space we have for that growth, period. This is my problem with many villain redemption arcs: a few episodes of contrite behavior cannot emotionally outweigh whole seasons of horrific actions. It's a presumed redemption based on audience expectations, rather than something we see earned throughout the course of the story. For me, there has to be a certain amount of time and effort put into that change. The worse the actions, the more time and effort needed to, if not absolve them, at least get everyone to a point where they can be set aside. Before the Dawn feels like a very mild case of this, in that I'm wondering how long everyone is going to act this way towards one another before things start getting better. The longer it goes on, the more I expect of the story in order to dig the characters out of it. Though serviceable, a scene like "Then Sun realized he was pushing everyone away and Coco realized she'd been too hard on him, so they both decided to change. Maybe for persuasive reasons, maybe not. The end" isn't emotionally engaging. The disagreeable characteristics across this cast are numerous, yet RWBY doesn't feel like a story where I'm suppose to dislike everyone in an entertaining way—a la Mean Girls.

Thus, I'm wondering when we'll actually start the work of getting me to like this group more/getting them to like each other more, as well as how much of that work we’ll see overall.

Right, I've blathered on about this quite enough. The story (unconsciously I assume) continues to emphasize how expected it is that Coco would give awful jobs to teammates because she's annoyed with them, which doesn't say great things about her leadership, but that at least is something I could easily see a teenager with that kind of power doing. She and Fox round out the list of bad jobs by mentioning that Velvet and Yatsuhashi got stuck with grimm watch, "the duty of the low-rent Huntsmen who worked loosely with local law enforcement to help keep the peace." Given how they discuss this, the implication seems to be that this is an insulting job to give their teammates, which is hilarious considering that these four aren't even huntsmen yet. They're second years! 'What'd they do to deserve a job for low-rent huntsmen?' asks the guy who isn't a huntsmen at all yet.

We learn though that there has been a rise in grimm across the city. How did Coco get that information?

Coco laughed. “I snuck into [Professor Rumpole's] office.”

“Coco!” Fox said.

“Don’t lecture me, Fox.”

Fox smiled. “How dare you do that without inviting me,” he sent.

I get it. I honestly do. It may not seem at times that I understand that a story about a bunch of students has to find a way to get those students involved, or that these students, as teenagers, will do stupid things, that as humans they’ll even do horrible things... but surely there's a way to achieve all this without having our heroes constantly treat their allies in such a callous, disrespectful manner. Breaking rules is not inherently a bad thing. Some rules are unfair and upholding them does more harm than good. Some rules, while important from one perspective, can be broken without any serious repercussions. I never had a problem with Harry, Ron, and Hermione constantly breaking their curfew because kids sneaking out of bed isn't hurting anyone (overlooking the potential of the magic castle hurting them, but I digress). The rule exists for reasons like "You need enough sleep and are unlikely to get that unless we make you" and "A bunch of 11-year-olds shouldn't be left unsupervised in the magic castle" and "Learning how to follow some simple rules and listen to your guardians helps build basic skills needed for adulthood" but really? At the end of the day the Trio breaking that rule—particularly for good reasons like "We suspect nefarious Dark Lord shenanigans are afoot"— is far from the end of the world. Harry Potter also has the added benefit of making the adults actually useless and/or indifferent a lot of the time. We had a story where the kids, more often than not, were the last line of defense.

Rumpole? She is not useless or indifferent. Two chapters ago we established that she is conducting an investigation, Team CFVY just decided that wasn't enough because they want to be involved. And breaking into her office to snoop through her desk? That's not a harmless crime! Beyond the fact that Coco is looking for info she's not allowed to have and finding additional information she's not supposed to have, that's a serious breach of privacy. Clearly neither of them have enough respect for Rumpole to care about that though. Casual rule-breaking like that should be reserved for characters who have failed to earn the respect of the characters or the audience, demonstrating a lack of ethics that (arguably) justifies whatever they get. Basically, the Umbridges and the Lockharts of the world, not the Rumpoles who—far as I have seen so far—have done nothing but take their students seriously and adhere to not unreasonable expectations like, "Please don't get involved in something that might get you killed [cough-Sun taking on three goons-cough] and/or don't ruin the investigation I've already started." Or, at the very least, have the characters feel contrite and guilty about what they felt they had to do.

Why do I like these characters again? It would at least be more satisfying if the story acknowledged that the vast majority of our cast has turned into anti-heroes. I'm fine with that story! But not the one that claims it's "necessary" that our "classic" heroes pull stunts like breaking and entering, theft, lying, etc. without actually providing compelling reasons for those actions. Let Coco break into Rumpole's office, but do the work first of convincing me why she should be involved in this in the first place, why this info is necessary, and why doing that to an ally is necessary too. Kindhearted heroes should have a different reaction to unnecessarily breaking their instructor’s trust than laughter and jokes.

In considering how Before the Dawn intersects with the main webseries, I think it's also worth highlighting that casual line about how more grimm are getting into the city: "There’s been a rise in incidents of Grimm wandering into the city lately." That was one of the major conflicts of Volume 7 and one of the things the fandom uses as a means of mapping Ironwood's downfall: grimm were getting into the city and he failed to stop it, ergo he's a terrible leader, ergo he’s a terrible person, shooting Oscar is something I’d expect of him. Yet the same thing appears to be happening in Vacuo and, thus far, the story isn't interested in giving it the same gravitas. How are the grimm getting in? If the situation is bad enough that Theodore is sending both huntsmen and students to deal with it—“So that’s why Theodore’s been sending more students out lately, clearing the immediate area of Grimm"—isn't he a failed leader as well? Either one of these perspectives work, just not both at once. Either grimm attacks are an inevitable result of living in Remnant and the people deal with them without assigning undo blame, or both headmasters should be facing heat for failing to keep this from happening. So I'll be interested to see if this comes up again and, if so, how. Because right now Coco and Fox are treating it like a casual occurrence, whereas Volume 7 painted it as a serious failing.

We finally learn that Coco and Fox are watching this club because there are two huntsmen gambling inside instead of out doing their job. Except maybe they're off and just like gambling? How do they know there are huntsmen inside to begin with? Or, if they're unsure of that, why are they staking out this specific club? Did they pick one at random because clubs have been associated with the baddies? I feel like I'm constantly playing catchup with this novel. Details are mentioned like Meyers introduced them earlier (he didn't) but then those details still fail to help me make sense of the scene or the characters’ motivations. As I mentioned in the last recap, I never have both pieces of information: what exactly the characters are doing and why they're doing it. Fox and Coco's entire conversation revolves around Fox not know why they're here or what anyone else is up to, but instead of answering his questions we get pieces of information—huntsmen, clubs, grimm attacks, the Crown—that don't easily fit together but are presented as if they do. Then the plot just lands in their lap. Meyers never needs to explain why Coco took the time to stake out this particular club out of an entire city's worth because, of course, it just so happens to be the club where something nefarious is going on. Once they're chasing two baddies it's too late. We've moved on.

Before we get into that chase though, I'd just like to point out the exceedingly odd anti-huntsmen sentiment in this chapter. subtle, but there. As mentioned previously, we have a potential dig at low-rent Huntsmen and the kinds of jobs they do. Then we're told that

"Nothing much happened in Vacuo, and when there was an argument or a crime, people tended to sort things out on their own—with their fists. But when it came to Grimm, Vacuans depended on Huntsmen to fight their battles for them."

This one is admittedly me reading into things a bit (in case anyone missed it: I don't hold this novel in particularly high esteem lol) but "fight their battles for them" is usually a phrasing meant to carry another subtle insult. You need someone else's help and that's bad. Which makes a certain amount of sense for Vacuo's focus on strength, but I wonder why the huntsmen are getting brought into this for... doing their jobs? The explicit purpose of huntsmen is to fight grimm, so it's pretty weird to have a line that implies any negativity for them doing that. Oh, you need huntsmen to fight your battles? How horrible. Even though the huntsmen as an institution exist to fight those battles. It's like saying the first department has to “fight your battles” because you’re not capable of putting the fire out yourself. It carries an implication that, ideally, huntsmen wouldn’t be needed at all. Not because grimm go away, but because people would be able to fight grimm... even though, again, that fantasy already exists within the huntsmen. It’s just weird.

Finally, Fox outright theorizes that maybe there are more grimm because “the Huntsmen are getting lazy" and I'm just ????? You want to be?? A huntsmen??? What is this characterization? At best it reads like Meyers forgot that this group playing detectives are training to become a part of the institution they're criticizing. At worst it reads like the team simply believes themselves to be better than other huntsmen for undisclosed reasons. Like there are normal huntsmen doing grunt jobs and being lazy, and then there's Team CFVY who experienced A Battle and consider themselves vastly more experienced as a result (despite others like Scarlet trying to remind them that they're still only students). I doubt Coco and Fox will come to realize this, not unless something in Before the Dawn really knocks them down a peg, but I honestly wonder in these recent installments why most of these characters want to be huntsmen at all. It’s a job that requires adhering to a hierarchy of authority, obeying the laws of the kingdom you're in, and working closely with what allies are available to you. They don't seem to want any of that, but nor do they frame this as a flawed institution that they hope to improve: “Huntsmen do have a reputation for being lazy, but we’ll fix that once we get our licenses.” As it stands, they want to be vigilantes, getting praise for their deeds but being able to break the rules whenever they please.

Their theorizing is interrupted though when two huntsmen exit the club. How does Coco know they're huntsmen? Huntsmen don't wear uniforms and lots of non-huntsmen folk carry weapons... I simply don’t know. But these two offer to walk one of the gamblers home, considering he's won a fair bit of lien that night. Fox gets interested because their auras are bright enough that he can see them and they're identical, which isn't normal.

But wait. Back up.

Can everyone see auras? Obviously we as the audience can, but the RWBY folk in-world potentially can't, not if Coco doesn't see how "vivid" these auras are herself. Fox is the one providing this information and Fox is the one who needs to track the huntsmen when they flee. This ability seems to be unique to him.

Why can Fox see auras then? That's not his semblance and, far as I can tell, it isn't logically a byproduct of telepathy (like how healing is a byproduct of Jaune amplifying aura). Honestly, it feels like 'The blind character has a special way of seeing the world' trope without actually explaining what that special way is or where it came from.

Why is Fox emphasizing that he can see the auras? The implication is that they're so powerful he, the blind guy, can actually see them... but how is he 'seeing' them the rest of the time? This isn't the first time Fox has been aware of someone's aura because he informs Coco that they're not normally the same color, but if these auras are unique because he can see them, what's happening every other time he comes across non-identical/powerful/weird auras? Does Fox just feel them somehow? Is it a non-visual sense and strong/weirdo auras propel it into sight as well? I'm very confused by all of this.

Regardless, it quickly becomes clear that these huntsmen are actually kidnapping the guy. Fox uses teamspeak to call everyone to him... including SSSN. So much for this remaining a secret until Fox trusts them! It would be one thing if Fox was forced to cast a wide net, but far as I can tell there's nothing stopping him from taking an extra two seconds to just contact his team. In the span of about a day in-world we're given two different explanations here. First it's

Velvet whispered a description of what they were seeing to Fox, avoiding teamspeak for SSSN’s benefit. No one found out about Fox’s Semblance until he trusted them enough to let them in on it.

then it's

Velvet jumped in. “It’s Fox’s Semblance. He’s telepathic. And he likes surprising people with it.”

So which is it? Does Fox treat his semblance as a closely guarded secret in an effort to protect himself, get an edge in battle, all that jazz, or does he just like waiting to spring it on people as a practical joke? Because if it's the former, Team SSSN haven't done anything in the last couple of hours to suddenly earn Fox's trust. Nothing we're shown, anyway. Rather, we just finished a conversation where Coco basically goes, 'You trust Sun?' and Fox's response, though somewhat noncommittal, basically amounts to a, 'Nah.'

Well, SSSN knows now. Everyone starts heading Fox's way while Coco interrupts the two huntsmen in the midst of their kidnapping. The kidnapee, a merchant, blurts something about not being helpless and Coco threatens to leave him.

"Coco had a real sadistic streak sometimes. Just one of the reasons she and Fox made great partners."

Hello, friends, family, and people of the internet: am I insane for thinking this is not how you write heroes? It's one thing if you're using "sadistic" as an obvious exaggeration—Coco playfully teases Velvet about her supposedly awful clothes. She's got a real sadistic streak—but threatening to leave someone to be kidnapped because, what? People need to act helpless enough for her to deem saving? Who writes their supposedly classic hero like that and then makes her partner go, 'Haha yeah she's mean. That's why we're friends :D'

Real badasses are kind and I stand by that.

Of course, the merchant immediately backtracks and Coco demands his release. Sun and Neptune arrive, recognizing the two huntsmen as the goons that Sun fought. There's some talk about a "She" who they're expected to deliver the merchant to and Velvet—again—brings up the rescue.

“You mean the ones we rescued Sun from?” Velvet asked. “Come on!” Sun sent.

Recurring jokes like this are only good when 1. The characters are established as actually liking one another (otherwise they're not jokes) and 2. It doesn't come up every other chapter. When the chapters are roughly ten pages each.

Before a fight can start though the goons give up, dropping the merchant and making a run for it. Fox is sent after them. He uses his ADA machine to navigate his surroundings, which is a detail I really like and appreciate. He's blind. There's no reason why he wouldn't use accessibility tools to assist him. So well done there.

The goons disappear into an abandoned building that ADA identifies as a former dust refinery. There's also a comment about how tall it is compared to the other buildings in Vacuo. Fox loses them because of the number of people inside—all those auras blending together—and, like the goons themselves, a lot of those auras "seem the same." Velvet and Yatsuhashi arrive to assist Fox... but their assistance amounts to Yatsuhashi trying and failing to cut down the door with his sword?? Then all those potential baddies know they've found the super secret hideout. Well done.

They're lucky they just asked for a password. Which, of course, the group doesn't know.

With more time to observe the mass of auras, Fox drops the bombshell that he thinks one of them may be Professor Rumpole's. The group quickly decides that she must be conducting her investigation, but the other obvious possibility that they don't seem to realize (yet) is that she's working with them instead. If Rumpole does end up evil or something I just want to say that my previous points still stand. It’s not okay for the group to twist her 'Don't get involved' into a 'Well, she just doesn't want us to get caught.' Not okay for Coco to sneak into her office and snoop on official reports. Sometimes people will retroactively absolve characters of bad decisions because much later the person who bore the brunt of those decisions turns out to be bad... but the characters didn't know that at the time. The Lockhart and Umbridge examples above work because they were introduced as terrible people who were then later revealed to be even worse than the characters previously knew: Lockhart moves from an inept, overbearing idiot to a con artist erasing others' memories; Umbridge moves from a cruel instructor to a torturer whose rhetoric aligns with the Dark Lord's. Rumpole? Far as the group knows she's done nothing but assist and teach them.

So the three are just standing around, wondering what to do and what it all means. Coco calls Fox only for Fox to immediately hang up on her because everyone is already using teamspeak. Why bother to call in the first place? I don't know. But they fill Coco in and she decides not to ruin Rumpole's (presumed) investigation. Which is good! Yes, Coco does it partly for self/team-serving reasons

Coco shut the idea down quickly. “If we interfere in her investigation and blow whatever she’s doing, we’ll get worse than detention. She’ll probably kick us out of Shade. And we’ll have ruined the usefulness of the information she’s gathering. I say we give her time to do her thing.”

but if fear of expulsion gets them to make a smart call, I'll take it. Besides, as Coco herself points out, they now have some leads to follow. They can continue their investigation without diving headfirst into the danger pool. Like Yatsuhashi apparently wanted to do. Attacking the door with his sword.

(Seriously what was the plan there? Cut open metal, barge your way inside, and take on a massive group yourselves—two of which you already know attacked Sun? It's an Experience™ to be in the heads of teens who think they're hot shit, but act so, so dumb. Admittedly this is something to praise about Myers' writing: of course the personal PoV of these characters is going to contrast reality. What they think they’re like and what an outsider sees will often differ.)

Coco goes on to reiterate that the merchant was "rude" about being rescued, threatening to “report us to the headmaster, once he found out we’re only students, not licensed Huntsmen." Which yeah, that's a dick move. Coco was awful for threatening to leave him, but if a bunch of kids saved me from a kidnapping I wouldn't threaten them with punishment because they're not the police. The implication is that he's xenophobic, given that he was a little too interested in how they're from Beacon/Haven and would only talk to Sun. Coco is "smug" about it.

Note the pattern again: Coco threatens something horrible, later the guy is revealed to be an asshole for unrelated reasons, so she's smug about her actions. See? He deserved what he got. But that's not how this works. If I walk up to someone and randomly punch them, then it's revealed they’re a criminal, I don't get to act all pleased that I spotted an asshole and took action early. I still punched someone without provocation. For anyone, but especially for a hero, ‘They were vaguely sort of mean/rude to me’ is not a good justification for objectively cruel acts. I’m looking at you, RWBY and Witcher.

More important for the plot, Coco reveals that the merchant doesn't have a semblance and the club owner claims the two goons really are huntsmen—though who can say for sure. With little else to do, Coco makes plans to return to Rumpole's office tomorrow.

“And snoop around some more?” Fox asked.

“No,” Coco said. “I’m going to ask her some questions.”

I suppose that's an improvement? I cannot possibly express how not engaging this mystery is though. It's vaguely confusing and feels all-around cobbled together. Every action the group has taken so far hasn't just been unnecessary (I prefer heroes who have a good reason—or at least perceive they have a good reason—for getting involved when others are already working to solve a problem), but it’s also dependent on coincidence to a frustrating degree. Even in a story where I know and accept and welcome some coincidence to move the plot along. But this? Sun gets involved because he follows a woman when he doesn't actually know if she's in trouble or not, but of course she is. Then they stand around a wall until the story drops a crying girl in their lap, because of course a person will have gone missing the second they need a lead and are in the perfect place to receive one. Then Coco seems to pick a club at random to stakeout, because of course that will be the one club where our two huntsmen/goons will be trying to kidnap someone new. None of their intellect, knowledge, or skills lead them to the next phase of the investigation, with the exception of Coco breaking in to steal info about the case. Obviously RWBY is not meant to be a classic mystery, but as a massive Sherlock Holmes fan this is a slog to get through. We have no compelling reason why the group is investigating and the investigation itself isn't teaching us anything compelling about them. This could have been the place to demonstrate how a huntsmen's skills go far beyond just throwing a punch. Instead we see... what? That Yatsuhashi can try to break down a door and say "Ow" about it? At least the webseries gave us two faunus donning grimm masks to sneak into the extremist, faunus-only meeting. Comparatively that's a leagues better investigation than the one we’re getting here.

Am I surprised? No. Do I still hope that this book will improve? Always. We'll see what Chapter Five gives me.

Until then! 💜

#rwby #rwde #BTD Recaps #Before the Dawn #mymetas

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shoichee · 3 years

Text

Hortensias

Midorima x Takao

rpg!AU

Word Count: 5271

Synopsis: Takao, a cheeky yet innovative alchemist, accidentally crash lands near Midorima’s target and causes them to flee. Midorima is seething, not just because Takao made him fail a vital commission, but because Takao ruined his perfect streak of quest clears that he maintained for years ever since he joined Akashi’s guild.

Note: I don’t write character x character but since it is for @knbsecretsanta‘s event, and since @iseefairies had listed some ships, I thought to experiment with this and see how this went;; based off of the official art twitter of KNB’s fake RPG here !

@knb-kreations

Merry Christmas, Aly! I hope the year has been treating you well <3 This is actually my first time writing a KNB ship as I’ve always stuck to KNB x reader! But without further ado, here’s the fic!

»»—————　☼　—————««

Another gentle zephyr slinks through the whimsical city, where dandelions flutter past the sturdy, maintained walls that embrace its citizens in everlasting security, and it is evident that the residents felt safe from the way they carry themselves. Here, everyone chatters away merrily, as mothers gossip with one another at the local produce booths and fathers drink away to oblivion in the local taverns with their friends. Children are let loose, playing a one-sided game of tag with unsuspecting pigeons, grubby hands waiting to pounce on them at the perfect opportunity.

Despite the overwhelming bustling, Takao knows everyone in the city and the city’s topography like the back of his hand. An equally chatty person himself, he can’t help but wedge himself into the huntsmen’s conversation about recent news of game or even lodge himself into the housewives’ whispers with an easygoing joke that instantly gets them giggling. The latter, well, he’s required to know the land of the local area. Otherwise, how could he properly do his job as an alchemist?

Due to his gregarious nature, everyone knows Takao Kazunari, the “friendly alchemist.” Takao, a young man described to be the next “enlightener” of the era. Takao, an alchemist gifted with the convenient ability to “see” the properties and compatibilities of the elements found everywhere; it certainly had played a critical part in shooting him to high prestige among the nation’s scholarship, even if he never took his studies seriously back in the academies. Every new discovery he made, every innovation he accidentally pioneered, were always due to his own whims and morbid curiosities.

What if he took a slime creature’s remains and melted it with an open flame?

What if he extracted oils from petals of specific poisonous plants to turn them nontoxic?

What if he took certain minerals and infused them with randomized doses of ether energy?

After all, he was bound to become utterly bored in the city if he had nothing else to occupy his attention. That was the beauty of being an alchemist. One can always find something new to tinker with out of things that already exist, to push the limits of matter and energy.

Even so, he found the excitement of being an alchemist dwindling with each passing day. Especially ever since his application to one of the most prestigious guilds was immediately rejected despite his rising stardom. At first, he didn’t mind the rejection—sure, it stung and dumped an ice-cold bucket of reality on him, but he figured to shrug it off and finally decided to work hard, hoping for another momentous opportunity to come by. Still, he was a tad bitter about the fact that he was very close to being accepted as an official guildmate had it not been for a “masterful archer” showing up to take the limited spot away. He remembered a pink-haired girl, assumed to be the guild’s recruiter and receptionist, reluctantly telling him that the guild was prioritizing an experienced warrior over a civilian alchemist due to a recent onslaught of hostile monsters roaming outside. Takao eventually came to terms with her explanation, and with that, he kept the thoughts of the guild in the back of his mind while he worked.

That was, until every time he tried to do anything, intervention was required specifically from that guild.

He needed to purchase a specific ingredient that was labeled a controlled substance? He needed special permission from that guild.

He wanted to go outside the city walls to pick a few plants and carcasses for an experiment? He needed to go through extra lengths to submit a request for an escort from that guild.

He wanted to travel beyond the local area to other regions to expand his alchemy repertoire? He needed to be an approved member from that guild.

It was beyond ridiculous—how was it that no other guild besides that guild being granted much authority over the city?

Granted, he could’ve just gone along with the established rules and merrily be on his way, but the thought of potentially meeting the person who took his opportunity away dug up unresolved feelings of bitterness.

I’ll show them… I just need to be so good that they have no choice but to notice me.

Even if he didn’t have the innate miracle of being able to wield ether energy during combat like the recent recruits of that guild, he still was undeniably a prodigy in his own arts; he just sometimes wished he was more of the first than the latter.

———

What are the odds that today was when almost every guild member was not anywhere in the close proximity of the city?

Close to none.

Apparently, local knights were apprehensive in guarding the perimeter without the comforting presence of the powerful guildmates nearby, and it looks like the anxiousness spread to the rest of the cityfolk. The fathers were by their families’ sides and stationed outside their own homes, while mothers wrapped their arms around their children inside in apprehension. Some children picked up on the mood changes, while some were confused or annoyed in why they couldn’t be outside chasing after birds.

For Takao, this was yet again, another momentous opportunity he had been waiting for.

He had his eyes set on the prize: the ether-infused hydrangea flower patches outside the walls near the forest. No one was going to be around to pay much attention to a lone alchemist moving about when they had more dire situations to focus their attention on: the rogue tribes, or hostile beasts, or even the enemy regions adjacent to the land.

His physique was quite deceiving; even if Takao was a mere lean civilian, he was more than capable of scaling up the stone walls and doing simple acrobatics to avoid authority detection, and he easily slipped to the wild with the advantage of the lack of “watch dogs” around.

“Sheesh… finally, no one here to breathe down my neck every second…”

Takao stretches his arms, sore from the physical exertion moments before, and exhales. He scans his surroundings before determining the best route to his destination and promptly jogs. Except that it took him longer than expected to get there considering that he kept getting sidetracked by every object that caught his eye, either packing them into his bag for future experiments or chasing after them in an attempt to view them up close.

Nonetheless, he reached the hydrangea patches by late afternoon, and he eagerly plucked off each flower bud by their different colors, wondering if the pH that causes the color diversity would affect the results of his experimentation.

“It wouldn’t hurt to treat myself with a quick experiment…” he murmurs to himself, looking at the colorful, tall bushels around him in the quiet meadow. “There’s no one here anyways…” His face grows giddy at the thrill of the possibilities for the first time in a while, and he hastily brings out small bottles of liquified ether energy and the melted slime remnants he had from past experiments. He pops open the cork caps and dumps each colored bud into various bottles and seals it back up with the cap, and he gives each glass a firm shake before he sets them all on the ground.

With that, he makes himself comfortable on the soft grass against the tree, taking out a small sketchbook to record his observations.

Three bottles filled with blue hydrangeas stood innocently and perfectly aligned for Takao to observe without any inhibitions. The first bottle had the blue hydrangea soaked in the ether energy, the second bottle had the hydrangea partially enveloped by the melted slime, and the third bottle had the flower mixed with both the ether and slime. Half an hour passed by uneventfully, and Takao slightly scowled.

“Oh, come on,” he grumbles. “Not even a teensy reaction from these?” He huffs and blows the stray bangs out of his eyes before he puts down his sketchbook, and he quickly crawls to lift the first bottle up. “I thought for sure the first bottle would have something happening…”

He gingerly opens the cork to smell the bottle’s contents.

Sweet, yet refreshing and crisp like cold morning air.

It would definitely make a superb fragrance for the perfume shops back home, but it wasn’t what Takao had in mind when he wanted to visit the patches.

Perhaps Takao should’ve actually paid attention to his alchemist studies back during schooling because out of agitation, he may have not noticed, or rather disregarded, the odd feeling that grew in his stomach when he picked up the second bottle. To any other alchemist who learned the basics of experiment procedures, they would’ve been much more meticulous and careful, and many would even notice the strange pressure emanating from the sealed bottle. But to Takao, he’s always believed that philosophy had done more harm than good in alchemy, putting limitations in the efforts of pushing humanity’s potential. But perhaps the stuffy adults at the academies were correct this time.

Because the moment he slowly twisted the cap off, his immediate instinct was to tilt the bottle away from his face within a millisecond, and the bottle’s contents exploded like a rocket right after in a hot goo of blue hues. Any other second later and Takao’s face could’ve been melted off with a blue stain. But unfortunately for his surroundings, the entire nearby flowers and grass patches have been repainted a cerulean blue in uneven distributions of splotches. Even in the aftermath, the bottle in his hands was abnormally warm.

“Well, I don’t think that’s what I meant when I said I wanted a reaction…” he laughs to himself and gets up to examine the results. Wherever the blue touched, it completely liquified and melted it, evident from the way the petals were dripping even despite the bottle’s contents being completely dried. “Now how do I even fit these into my bag without melting a hole through it?...”

It seems that his words completely jinxed his current situation because he felt the blue-stained grass and patches pressuring and heating up again to explode, and while he tried to leap away to put some distance, the colorful explosion was much more violent. All Takao registered was his body blown back like a leaf across the meadow before he landed harshly on the mushy soil, feeling the crunched up flowers underneath. He rapidly blinks away the blue in his vision before he saw a cloaked figure scurrying away from the scene.

“Ah… shit, how am I gonna find my stuff?” Takao grumbles, more worried about his missing possessions than whatever he just witnessed. “It looks like they fell through the bag anyways…”

“You should be more concerned about the consequences you’ll face for letting the perpetrator escape rather than the contents of your mere sachet.”

Takao jolts out of his musings to face a viridescent-haired man, with equally striking eyes. However, the scowl on his face was the most defining feature of his sharp countenance.

“Uh…” Takao averts his eyes before he turns back to stare at his intense glare with a casual shrug. “My bad?”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, look, I had no idea, really,” he protests, holding his hands up in good faith. “I just got blasted over here from some flowers just a bit away, and I’m not here to steal your game—look, see? I don’t have a single weapon on me.”

“The issue,” the man glowers. “—is that you let the man escape. You gave away our location by painting a target on our back by making explosions and permanently marking the fields with a jarring blue—”

“No, they are not permanent colorations,” Takao corrects. “Besides, you could always find him again right? I mean, he hasn’t ran too far off. Maybe instead of talking to me, you could’ve found him by now… why are you looking at me like that?”

“You… can’t be serious,” he deadpans before hardening his expression again. “Do you not understand? The enemy left, like any person with common sense would do. Every second the person is out free, there is higher risk of danger for the city and my recor—wait… you’re not even from the guild.”

“You’re from that guild?!” Shit… Takao was unbelievably screwed. Not only did he not get what he came for, but he lost the majority of his possessions and got caught on the trip by a guild member themselves no less.

The man narrows his eyes. “What’s your excuse of being all the way out here without any guildmate escort?” Takao nervously chuckles to try to dissuade him. “I will not tolerate any shit from your end.”

“Well, you know… afternoon stroll, got lost, got separated from the escort ‘cause of that, and…”

“Oh? If that’s the case,” the man said, softening his face in mild understanding but still visibly peeved. “Might you give a physical description or a name? Such irresponsibility will not be tolerated by Akashi.”

“Well… I didn’t really get a close look at this person per say…” he says. “I guess I was so excited for the potential fruits of my experiment that I—uh, didn’t bother to… look.”

“... Is that so.” The man narrows his eyes at Takao’s hesitance. “Would you like me to escort you back and you can point to me the member you’re most familiar with—wait, where are you going?!”

“It was nice knowing you, but I’m a busy man!” With that, Takao sprints away from him, hoping that he can eventually find the looming city walls as a general pinpoint for the right directions. But before he can dash past eight meters away, his senses tingle to dodge something.

It was the man’s shower of arrows.

“What the hell?! What kind of person would SHOOT at an innocent civili—”

“SILENCE or you shall receive further retribution, for my shooting range knows no bounds.”

“... But you just missed.” At Takao’s words, the man’s aura of hostility spikes drastically and he prepares his bow to shoot another four arrows at the alchemist before Takao has a revelation. “Ah, ha! Aren’t you the famed marksman, Midorima, who has a spotless record of clearing every quest you undertake and never missing your shots…? Or had a perfect reco—HOLY SHIT, can you please stop trying to shoot at me?”

“You have lip for someone who can’t remotely defend himself.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe it’s because you might be the person I have a grudge against if my intuition is correct.” Takao casually shrugs but his own hostile aura slightly catches “Midorima” off guard.

“And I am indeed Midorima Shintaro. What of it?”

“Blegh, gross,” Takao says, completely ignoring Midorima to examine his shot arrows on the ground. “These arrows are beyond functional. How can you even shoot with these, much less even keep them?”

“H-How dare you—!” Midorima grows slightly flustered, surprised that even a normal civilian would comment on his weapon of choice. “These are my lucky arrows, obviously! I have other arrows and bows for other purposes! Don’t get the wrong idea!”

“Did you really have a perfect streak?” Takao inquires, haphazardly holding the arrow by its dull head. “Even a novice archer knows to stay away from this sort of craftsmanship.”

“I’m simply testing the limits of my skills,” Midorima snaps, walking over to Takao to snatch the arrow off his hand while collecting the others. “I do as many things as humanly possible to push the limits, and that is why fate grants me favorable outcomes, regardless of whatever tool I have on hand.”

“You still missed though.”

“You will not speak a word of this.”

“You can’t make me.”

“You will not. Speak. Of. This.”

“You also failed a mission too. Oh, what would the people think of you when I run back to the city to deliver the news?”

“You wouldn’t even have a chance,” Midorima says, grabbing Takao’s arm roughly. “You’ll be sent straight to the interrogation room and get personally questioned by Akashi.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” Takao protests. “Easy there pal, easy! Let’s not do something so extreme, okay? Look, here me out, I kind of need to have a good reputation to wait for an opening in the guild rosters again to reapply, and you took my spot the last time.”

“I didn’t take it, fate was more favorable to me than to you and anyone can easily see why.”

“Ugh, whatever! Hear me out, I won’t say a word about your record hiccups and you’ll cover up my trip here! We both get something out of this… deal?”

“You have the audacity to think that I’ll go along with this—?”

“Then you’re okay with me tarnishing your record? I’m quite popular with the townsfolk, if I do say so myself.”

“... Fine.” He releases his arm and shoves him away. “But I will not hesitate to apprehend you if you go beyond the walls again for your frolicking.”

“And I wasn’t frolicking,” Takao scoffs. “I was doing alchemy.”

“There’s no difference.”

“Oh shut up, dullhead,” Takao says, waving him off dismissively and ignoring the way Midorima was ready to strangle him. “Before we go back to the city, I have to go look for my stuff… they’re actually quite dangerous if an unsuspecting person picked it up.”

“Why didn’t you say so in the first place, idiot?” Midorima scowls. “Let’s go.”

———

“Are you really an alchemist?” Midorima asks, gauging Takao’s jittery behavior as he scans for his missing belongings. “The way you carry yourself is more akin to a troublemaker quack than a legitimate scholar.”

“If you’re not gonna help me look for my things,” Takao retorts, “then go sit at the tree while you wait for me, Shin-chan.”

“What the hell did you just call me?—”

“Shhh,” Takao whispers, putting an abrupt finger to Midorima’s lips. “I hear sizzling nearby. Do you hear it too?” All Midorima does in response is to send a glare at Takao for invading his personal space but nonetheless gives a reluctant nod in affirmation.

“Alright, I know you think I’m a fraud, but do heed my words when I tell you to stand back,” Takao says, tutting his finger across Midorima’s face. Midorima was this close to delivering a swift knockout and leaving him in the fields. “But if you don’t wanna listen, that’s fine, too. But if something happens, you can go cry to the stars and fate for your misfortunes.” And Midorima only rolls his eyes at his jab but still steps back a few meters.

“... Be swift about it.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Midorima merely observes Takao waving his hand dismissively to shoo him off before he dramatically sneaks to the source of the sound (which prompted another eye roll from Midorima’s end), and he stares at Takao’s surprisingly determined face when he became enraptured during his work.

Takao notes that it was actually the third bottle from his experiment earlier today, and some of the contents have partially spilled from the opened bottle. To try to salvage the rest of the uncontaminated concoction, he pulls out a tiny spoon and tidies up the mess before promptly sealing the glass again. He sighs and stretches out his arms before he notices that despite the spilt concoction on the grass was still sizzling, there wasn’t any further reaction.

“Hey Shin-chan.” Midorima slightly flinches out of his daze at the sudden beckon of his name.

“Are you seriously going to call me that?”

“Bring your arrows here, would ya?”

“And you can kindly fuck off before you can ruin my luck for today by messing with the blessed arrows.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, already,” Takao huffs. “Just give me an ‘unlucky’ arrow then.”

Wordlessly, Midorima tosses over a broken, chipped arrow from his sack, and Takao stares at the “arrow” and then at the green-haired archer incredulously, wordlessly demanding an explanation.

“Broken arrows bring misfortune.”

“Then why on earth did you keep it?”

“So I can bring my enemies unfavorable outcomes.”

“Gee thanks,” Takao sarcastically says, but he turns back to the liquid on the ground and thoroughly coats the arrowhead in the substance. “Step back, kay? I’mma be throwing this.”

“Wait,” Midorima interjects, plucking the arrow off of Takao’s fingers while minding not to touch the coated arrowhead. “Where do you want me to shoot it?”

“There’s no way in hell that arrow can be even drawn on the bow.”

“Watch and learn, amateur.” Midorima scoffs as he draws the bow with ease, even with a questionable arrow. “Like I said, my shooting range knows no bounds.” Takao sighs and silently points to a nearby patch of flowers as the target and watches in extreme doubt, waiting for Midorima to gauge the distance and strength of the winds before he gracefully lets the arrow go… and perfectly hit the mark. On impact, the arrow caused an explosion.

“Wow…” Takao whistles. “I’m actually impressed.”

“What the hell did you do to that arrow?!”

“Just had a hypothesis. Thought the concoction might’ve needed a catalyst to push it to that point. Guess the trip wasn’t a waste after all,” Takao chuckles, satisfaction visible on his face. “Alright, marksman prodigy, looks like you aren’t half-bad after all. I got all my things, and we can go back.”

“You never stay on a single topic, do you, alchemist?”

“Well after we get to the city, you don’t ever have to hang around me anymore,” he laughs, speed walking away and skipping from excitement at the possibilities of his experiment results.

“... So it seems.”

———

The trip back to the city was mostly uneventful, mostly consisting of Takao’s eyes sparkling whenever anything of interest nearby catches his interest and Midorima gruffly scolding him to keep his eyes on the destination instead. Still, despite the many setbacks and detours, they reached home by dusk.

“And you better not say a single word about what happened out there,” Midorima threatens, jabbing a finger at Takao’s chest.

“My word is as solid as your own, archer,” he shrugs in reply, flicking his finger off to evoke a reaction. It worked. Midorima gave his signature scowl and was about to deliver another retort, but he was interrupted by the locals, who happened to be concerned for Takao’s whereabouts the entire day.

“Kazu!”

A few children and tailing mothers run up to the pair. The mothers were ready to apologize for their children’s eagerness, but Takao reassured them that the children were always welcome to chat with him. Midorima raises a brow at the amicable atmosphere he easily exudes.

“Kazu! Where have you been all day?! I wanted to see sparkly flowers! And shiny rocks! And glowy juice!”

“I’m sorry for my child’s lack of manners, but everyone was worried where you disappeared off to… I guess our anxiousness really rubbed off on everyone today…”

“Ah ha… it’s no problem ma’am, really…” Takao laughs. “I was just occupied with alchemist duties today!” Midorima sends a pointed look on cue at his words.

“B-B-But… you’re always so busy with the grown-up stuff lately… and you never have time to show us your collection anymore…”

“Well, how about to make it up…”

Midorima feels extremely out of place, feeling like he’s intruding on a conversation he shouldn’t be a part of. Before he turned to wordlessly leave and let them talk in peace, the children finally noticed the archer and stared unabashedly in wonder.

“Who’s this scary man, Mr. Alchemist?”

“What the—? Who are you calling sca—oof—” When Midorima instinctively tried to shoot back in defense, Takao immediately jabbed him with an elbow to stop any potential harsh comments from slipping.

“He’s actually the archer who helped me with my duties today… right?” Takao sends a “secretive” wink and Midorima only averts his eyes away.

“Ooh! Ooh! He’s the super duper strong archer superhero Dad always tells me about!”

“Y-Yeah…” Midorima coughs into his fist. “I shoot… arrows.” Takao struggles to hold in his laugh at his awkwardness with the children… or his awkwardness in expressing kindness overall.

“Well… it’s getting late kids, we have to go home and prepare supper for everyone.”

“Awww, but can we play with the archer hero tomorrow if we go home now?” The children turned their puppy eyes to Midorima and he immediately took a step back, frantically eyeing Takao to step in and help. Takao gives a playful smirk before he coughs and pretends to be stern.

“You children know better now,” Takao says in a mock-deep voice. “If you listen to your parents, eat healthy, and sleep early, you’ll get to play more with me and one day be a strong warrior too.” The said “strong warrior” turned away to facepalm to refrain from any snide comments slipping.

After the locals slowly dissipate after exchanging pleasantries with the alchemist, Midorima turns to face him.

“... You weren’t joking when you said you knew everyone here, huh.”

“Yep,” he says, popping the “p” at the end. “It makes daily life less mundane for a civilian like me. Not like someone like you can understand.”

“Conversations like these are meddlesome and quite unnecessary. That being said, I bid you a decent night.”

“You can just say ‘good night’ like a regular person,” Takao scoffs.

Midorima only scoffs back and makes haste for the guild hall.

———

Maybe it’s because Midorima is finally paying attention to the city life rather than keeping his head in his own world, or maybe it’s because he personally was recently acquainted with Takao, but from that point on, all he hears throughout the chattering and gossips were talks of “Takao Kazunari, the enlightener.” It somewhat agitates him that that’s all he’s been hearing for the past several days… nonstop. It doesn’t really help when some of the city children are actually actively hunting down the said archer everyday to make him “play with them,” like Takao promised to them that night.

He’s going to punch him if he ever sees that airhead again.

Still, it was a coincidence (or not) that Midorima found Takao’s craft table in a desolate corner of the city under a modest porch for someone who was the esteemed individual. Here was Takao, carefully eyeballing the measurements with his tongue sticking out in complete concentration. Quite typical of him.

“There are measuring tools for a reason, dumbass.” Takao dumbly blinks before he registers that Midorima was right in front of the table before he frowns.

“Ugh, go away,” he says half-heartedly. “I’m busy.”

“From the way everyone talks about you, I still can’t believe that their image of you is completely different than what I’m witnessing right now.”

��So you heard, huh?” he mumbles, obviously not paying attention to Midorima as he continues to eye the beaker up close. “People can say whatever they want… I’m just doing what must be done within my abilities. Tools are kind of stupid anyways. How can you discover new things when you use such orthodox methods? Besides, you can’t talk considering that you use fucking broken arrows and shoddy sticks for your archery.”

Midorima crosses his arms and frowns. “That’s different. It was just specific days that have been granted luck by the stars.”

“Say whatever you want, but we both do our things our own ways to push the limits of what humans thought were previously impossible.”

“I suppose you’re correct… for once.” Midorima stares at his handiwork, trying to comprehend the process of the art of alchemy. “So… what are you trying to do?”

“Dunno… the results were kind of surprising but I think if I can just change a certain property of this element… it can end up being groundbreaking…” Midorima widens his eyes in genuine curiosity and then narrows his eyes in deep thought to try to think of what “property” Takao was speaking of.

“And what’s this ‘groundbreaking’ result you have in mind?” Takao looks up from his table in mild surprise.

“You’re actually… interested in this?” Midorima simply turns his face away but says nothing, and Takao chuckles. “Well, if you’re that curious, I’m hoping that this can lead to a method in harnessing the power of the elements in crafted tools and weapons and push human civilization to be more adaptive to our environment than just… being walled up here all day.”

Midorima turns to face Takao in unabashed amazement, staring at his intense gaze that was unlike what he previously knew of him. He turns away after a few seconds when he feels his ears slightly burn, unable to handle the intensity of the moment. So this was the true alchemist side of Takao Kazunari that everyone praised.

“And, well,” Takao laughs, already returning back to his happy-go-lucky character. “There’s no way that I’ll be accepted to the guild if I reapply and don’t show them anything new. Plus, I’m not gonna lose to the likes of you.”

At his challenge, Midorima tuts in irritation and hits the top of his head with his fist, which was exactly the main objective that prompted him to look for Takao in the first place.

“What the fuck is your proble—”

“I’ll be taking my leave now,” Midorima says stiffly, swiftly turning away to walk back where he came from and leaving Takao to stare at the retreating figure in mild annoyance.

“Still…” Takao grumbles. “Why did this guy stop by my workspace anyways? It’s not easy to find this spot in the back of the city, either… Surely, he must have more important things to attend to… like that perpetrator-at-large…”

Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but Takao likes to think that Midorima stopped by to learn more about his craft that he dedicated his whole life to. That same wishful thinking also paints an unfamiliar red hue across his face.

———

“Momoi-san.”

“Oh? Mido-kun!” A pink-haired woman whirls around to face the abnormally tall archer. “It’s quite rare to see you here!”

“Ahem…” He coughs into his fist. “When are guild applications opening up again?”

“That’s a good question actually…” she hums. “Akashi is kind of fickle and has been in a more volatile mood since he’s still tracking down the leader of that rebel group from yesterday, but I predict that they’ll open again quite soon, considering that the waves of enemies haven’t subsided at all… Why do you ask?”

“I’d like to put in word for a potential recruit.”

“Uhhh… are you even the same Mido-kun I know? You should know that if you recommend someone in and they get recruited, you take full responsibility for them and—”

“And form an official team with them while showing them the policies, proper conduct and customs, and other adventurer essentials. Who do you think you take me for?”

“Right… may I ask who’s this person you’re planning to recommend?”

“I’m sure you’re aware of the city’s biggest alchemist.”

“Takao Kazunari? W-Well, yes, but… I’m sure you’re aware that you were picked over him in the last recruitment session,” Momoi says, slightly cringing at the memory of Takao’s crushed expression when he found out that he was rejected.

“This time, he has something to offer to the guild that no one else can,” Midorima says. “Something that not even Akashi can afford to overlook.”

“B-But!” Momoi protests. “Wouldn’t him being paired with you be a very bad idea? I mean, I’m not sure if teamwork is even possible considering what happened.”

“On the contrary,” Midorima replies, a small smile playing on his lips. “Fate tells me that we would make a very efficient duo.”

#KNBSecretSanta2020 #kuroko no basket #knb fic #knb fics #midorima x takao #takao kazunari #midorima shintarou #midorima shintaro #rpg au #knb fluff #knb scenarios #midorima shintaro x takao kazunari #knb midorima #knb takao #midotaka

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kittybellestark · 4 years

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Okay I think Time Can Heal All, But Maybe Not This has been out long enough that I can actually talk about it

If you haven’t read TCHABMNT yet there’s gonna be some spoilers but you can find it here

EDIT: I forgot to talk about May bc I did this at night when I was really tired and my brain just wanted to talk about Peter ig, that is my absolute bad so I added that in everything else is the same tho

So obvs y’all know I had troubles with getting it published here and there’s still been some struggles but I wanna actually talk about the story.

So I started writing it a few months ago but only got 7 paragraphs in before not knowing where to bring the story. Originally the line “And Peter is terrified” was supposed to end that paragraph.

After that the fic was going to be all fluff and Harley and Tony trying to reassure Peter that his insecurities aren’t going to come to fruition.

But then I had a bad day. And the story had been sitting in my drafts forever. So I figured out how to continue the story.

Make Peter feel alone.

I had to keep the snap canon because otherwise there’s be no other plausible way for all of Peter’s family to just ditch him and for Flash and Peter to become friends.

I had to make it so that everyone in Peter’s life moved on without him.

So May moved to Italy and has a boyfriend who Peter assumes will be her husband by the time he’s 20, she has her dream job and is doing what she loves.

She moved out to Italy to forget Peter. It was for selfish reasons, she lost everything in her life, her husband, his family (Peter’s parents), her parents had died years prior and now Peter is also dead. She’s left alone and she doesn’t know what to do. So May moves to Italy to forget Peter and forget the pain and grief she feels. She doesn’t want to remember him.

By trying to forget she finds a new life. She’s a version of who Peter could have become. May is alone with no one, left behind in a world that lost everything. She has a new family and she can’t give it all up to move half way across the world. May would be uprooting her whole family. She moved on from Peter. Tried her hardest to forget him.

May wants to have a relationship with Peter, she just mentally cannot handle having him back in her life because then that opens up the possibility of Ben being back in her life, or her parents, or Peter’s parents even. By acknowledging that Peter is back for more than a phone call or a FaceTime it’ll send her spiraling. May has crafted this reality for herself and it is safe and she cannot give it up.

She loves Peter, of course she does, but having him back will only hurt her more.

I still think it’s canon, in this story, that Tony reversed what Thanos did for Peter. And I couldn’t just kill Tony off either because that wouldn’t really be as painful as Peter just not having contact with him after everything.

It’s not because Tony just forgot Peter existed that they don’t really talk at the beginning. Obviously the affect of snapping left Tony seriously injuries and I referenced that in the story, “…Tony needed a lot more attention after the snap due to his injuries…” so Peter doesn’t really have the full idea of what his injuries are like, but I imagine pretty horrible, which would mean that Pepper wouldn’t be able to move him very soon.

Not to mention Morgan, who is born post snap and now the world had doubled in population and suddenly her father is so badly injuries he can’t be moved. That’s traumatizing on a child of her age, and then try and move her into the city?? That’s going to cause lasting affects on her mental health so of course the Starks are going to do what they can for Peter, but they have some really big things they need to deal with too.

But the Starks did move back into the city for him, it’s just a little late, because Peter is now going away for school. It’s not that they didn’t put an effort in to be with him, it’s just that they were spread thin between the Tony’s recovery, having Morgan cope, the company, what’s left of the avengers, trying and get themselves back to the city and being in the midst of what is probably an economic crisis.

When Peter turns 22 there’s a line “Just some empty seats and empty promises,” which isn’t much to go on, but a little bit later when Peter is thirty I wrote that Tony also has an 8 year old son. So Tony and Pepper were supposed to go to Peter’s MIT graduation, but she went into labour and they couldn’t go. It’s such a small little thing that’d be easily missed, but I wanted to sprinkle in that Tony and Pepper were trying to make an effort with Peter at least. But then they have another kid and being parents is hard enough, but now two kids? That’s hard, they’re going to forgot to prioritize Peter, especially when he hasn’t been a priority yet.

I felt it was important to give Peter someone though. Which is why Peter and Flash are friends through the story. It’s unlikely, and it wouldn’t have happened had they not been left behind. In the beginning I had wanted to have Flash and Peter get together romantically at some point, but that felt like a cop out, and too predictable. Which is why Flash ended up with Peter’s P.A, Gwen (yes Gwen Stacy). Having Flash move on with his life could either give Peter the idea that he could have what Flash has, because they’ve been in the same boat forever, or it could lead him to think that he’s incapable of having a life like that.

I had originally written that Peter tells Flash about Spider-Man, about how he can’t put on his suit without getting really bad flashbacks and panic attacks about what happened. But I didn’t want to turn this story to be about Spider-Man, because it’s not. This isn’t about Spider-Man’s struggles to get the suit back on and save people, this is about Peter’s struggles with mental health and his addiction. In my head Peter told Flash when they were still in high school, sitting on the bleachers in the evening, drinking a bottle of whiskey that Flash stole from his Dad’s liquor cabinet, which would also be the beginning to Peter’s alcoholism. But I ultimately didn’t feel like it was necessary to add to the story. It is something I’m willing to write out in the future though.

It felt really important for me to make everything in the story connect with each other. Peter goes to school at MIT, which is in Boston, where Ned lived when he was an adult (and we know that’s also where Tony went to school), and Peter is in California when he meets Harley again, where MJ went to school (Tony also previously lived in Cali). Everything needed to be connected to the life Peter lost. Which is also why there are so many similarities in Peter’s life now and Tony’s life before he settled down.

Tony went to MIT, well now so does Peter. Tony is an alcoholic with preference for whiskey? Yeah, Peter too. Tony is pretty much alone except for Rhodey? Peter is also alone, but he has Flash. Tony had suicidal and self-destructive tendencies? Peter has only tried killing himself multiple times. By making Peter into a version of Tony, it brings a reference to SM:HC, where Peter says after the ferry boat accident, “I just wanted to be like you” and Tony responds “And I wanted you to be better.” Peter is Tony, he’s just found fame and fortune at a different time, runs his own company and makes ground-breaking research that will help the world.

It’s why Peter is so hurt when he’s called (look a SM:FFH reference) “The Next Tony Stark.” He already is Tony Stark, except he doesn’t have the happiness or the family Tony currently has. Peter just has Flash and his assistant Gwen (just like young Tony only had Rhodey and Pepper). Peter being a version of Tony Stark, he can’t really see an escape. He is so horribly hurt and the only way he can see there being peace in his life is if he isn’t alive. Which is why he continues to try and kill himself.

I didn’t want Peter to die though, I wanted him to find something that would make life tolerable. Which is why I reintroduced Harley. Peter tries to ignore Harley, pretend he doesn’t recognize him, because Peter doesn’t want to remember his past and who he was and what he lost anymore. Harley being there is such a big reminder of who he used to be and who he wants to be, that Peter wants Harley to go away. He doesn’t acknowledge that he knows Harley, even when Harley all but says ‘I’m Harley Keener’ to Peter. At this point in the story Peter made up his mind that he is going to die. There was no other option, but then this beacon of hope shows up and Peter doesn’t want it anymore.

I think by reintroducing Harley it was important to never say that Peter and Harley end up together or that they’re still in contact. I left that pretty open ended because Harley just swooped in at the last second and stopped Peter from killing himself. Peter’s recovery is clearly not an easy one because that was when Peter is 30 and it’s only when Peter turns 32 that he’s one month sober. It was important that you don’t know who is Peter’s family. Because maybe it’s not the Starks or MJ and Ned or Harley or May. Maybe Peter moved on from his past they way they all had and has finally made peace with life, or maybe Peter’s past is now in his life again and he’s happy because he has what he always missed.

Everything in this story was so deliberate and there’s so much that I did that’s just these small little things and I love it so much. I think it was important to see Peter struggle with life and death and his mental illnesses.

So yeah, I’m completely in love with this story and if you guys have any questions about it please send me some asks and I’ll totally answer them, I’m just not over this story yet and I really want to talk about it some more !!

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sympathyfortheblinderdevil · 4 years

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All Is Fair: Ch. 12

Marmalade

Tommy sets Lia up in her own place (of course he did!) and wants to try her out in London. This chapter is a little smutty, so if you aren't into that, keep it movin'.

After three days in a suite at the Midland, Lia was sure that she had made the right decision in moving out of the place that she shared with Jenny. There were things that she would miss about her cousin, but no longer having to deal with her reproachful looks and constant warnings about Tommy far outweighed any sentimental feelings that she had for her. In time, she was sure that her relationship with Jenny would be mended, but they were just too different to live under the same roof any longer.

When she told Tommy that she could no longer live with Jenny, he immediately insisted that she move into a house he owned. It was nearer to the library than where she lived, and it had just been renovated. It was an airy three bedroom in a nice neighborhood. It had high ceilings, a big marble tub, and a small garden. Best of all, he said it had a perfect wall for her Mucha. He had planned to furnish and let it out to a company man and his family, but he had others that they could choose from; he said that he could have it ready for her in a few days. Until then, she would stay in his suite.

The best part about following days was the near constant attention she had received from Tommy. After she agreed to move into the house that he owned, she was swept up in a whirlwind of shopping for rugs, draperies, and furnishings. Every day, Tommy left work early in order to spend the afternoon taking her to see the tradesmen and upholsterers who were working around the clock to make sure that everything was just right. Everyone (particularly Arthur and Polly) was shocked that Tommy, himself, escorted Lia to the shops, but Tommy relished the experience. At first, Lia was embarrassed that he was spending so much money and time on the property, but he assured her over and over that it had to be done anyway…and to let him enjoy the fun of seeing what kind of furnishings she would pick. Her afternoons of shopping with Tommy were exhilarating, but the nights were magical; particularly the first night.

When she came to his office that night, chilled to the bone and reeling from the argument she’d had with Jenny, Tommy went into daddy mode. He rang ahead to the Midland to have the suite prepared and a bath drawn; he felt that it was just the thing to warm and calm her. After a drink and a bath, he thought, he would make her come and tuck her up in bed. It’s what he liked when he was out of sorts, so surely it would help Lia too.

When they arrived at the hotel, Lia couldn’t help but remember the last time they had been there. She could have never imagined that her bit of fun with Tommy Shelby would lead to this. Her adrenaline was racing as she thought to herself I am leaving my old life behind. I’ve left home and now I’m leaving the only family that I have in this city to move into a house that Tommy Shelby owns. The thought of it frightened her. What she was about to do was so far out of her realm of experience that she felt like she was watching it happen to someone else.

Tommy was there beside her, watching her eyes grow wider as she went over the events of the evening in her mind. He could imagine what she was thinking, so he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. He kissed it hard and squeezed it reassuringly.

“I know you’re scared, but I will be here with you. Let me do this for you.”

She squeezed his hand in return, and Tommy nodded to a valet who quickly came around to open Lia’s door. Tommy offered her his arm and they walked toward the opulent lobby.

The head valet took Tommy’s keys and tipped his hat, “Good afternoon, Mr. Shelby. Good afternoon, Ma’am.”

The doorman tipped his hat and bowed, “Good afternoon, Mr. Shelby. Good afternoon, Ma’am.”

The elevator operator tipped his hat and ushered them into the red velvet lined car, “Good afternoon, Mr. Shelby. Good afternoon, Ma’am.”

And when they reached the penthouse suite, the butler bowed and greeted them, “Good afternoon, Mr. Shelby. Good afternoon, Ma’am. The bath is drawn and I have stocked the bar with your usual selection, sir. I also laid a small tray of hors d’oeuvres, I hope you don’t mind the liberty.”

“Not at all, thank you,” Tommy said.

The butler excused himself and Lia shrugged her coat into a chair where she then sat down to unbutton her boots. Tommy knelt at her feet, cigarette dangling from his mouth, and took over.

“Let me get those,” he softly admonished her, as if he was speaking to Charlie.

She covered her mouth and giggled, holding her foot toward him and indulging his need to pamper her. When both boots were off, he took both her hands saying “Ups-a-daisy!” while pulling her to her feet. He let go of her hands for a brief moment to shuck off his jacket and gun holster (When he took off his gun he raised his eyebrows and mouthed “Won’t be needing that.”) then led her into the bathroom. She smiled at the enormous tub full of steaming hot water. The maid had left a selection of bath oils and salts on the countertop along with two bath towels and robes. She blushed a bit at the thought of the hotel staff knowing what she and Tommy were up to, but didn’t have long to dwell on it.

Behind her, Tommy had already stripped down to his shorts and was holding a violet colored bottle over the tub, asking, “Lavender? Don’t you think?”

“Lavender is perfect,” she answered.

She took in the sight of him, all of him, for as soon as the tipped the lavender bottle into the water he dropped his shorts and was ready to get in. His lean pale body stood in stark contrast with his black hair and tattoos. Her eyes followed the subtle ripple of sinew here and the graceful curve of muscle there—she was reminded of Leon Bonnat’s painting of Samson. He caught her staring in appreciation and raised one corner of his mouth.

He walked toward her and spoke, barely above a whisper, “You’re a bit overdressed, love.”

Lia undid the buttons on her dress and it soon pooled around her feet. Tommy hooked his fingers underneath the straps of her slip and slid them down her arms until it fell to the floor. She stepped over her discarded clothes and ran her fingers down Tommy’s chest, over scars, over bullet wounds, over tattoos, all the way down his abdomen. His eyes closed and he rolled his head back with a barely audible groan. She kissed his exposed throat and began to untie her brassiere when her hands were joined by his, reaching and pulling at the laces.

Once she was stripped of everything but her stockings, Tommy knelt before her again. He ran his hands over her hips and up to her breasts palming them and rolling her nipples between his fingers and thumbs. Lia shuddered with arousal and felt herself clinch, grasping and empty, wanting him to fill her. She looked down at him as he mouthed and sucked at her hipbones pulling little gasps from her lips. He worked his way down to her thigh, then up to her sex. Lia’s knees began to tremble and Tommy braced them with his arms. She instinctively spread her legs wider and tilted her pelvis to open herself to him. He concentrated on that most sensitive part of her, relentlessly massaging it with his flattened tongue until she couldn’t stand any longer. Tommy had her on the floor in seconds, one hand cupping her ass and the other two fingers deep inside of her, but that wasn’t nearly enough.

She grabbed onto his hair and tugged him up gasping, “I need you…now.”

The bath would have to wait.

***

The kettle was going off and the doorbell was ringing. Lia streaked through the house in her knickers and a pair of Tommy’s hunting socks, a red kimono fluttering behind her. In the weeks since she had moved into her new digs, she had hardly had a moment’s rest. Now, her peaceful Saturday morning was being interrupted. Prioritizing the screaming kettle over the front door, she slid into the kitchen to set it off of the burner and shouted, “Just a moment!” at the buzzer.

She paused before the hallway mirror to smooth her hair and secure the sash around her waist before answering. Through the vertical planes of stained glass on either side of the door she spied a grey woolen suit and a flat cap. Tommy. She cracked the door just enough to pull him inside and immediately wrapped him up in a sloppy open mouthed kiss.

“I hope you don’t answer the door like that for everyone.”

“Nah, just peaky boys. I thought you were Finn.”

That reply earned her a smack on the bottom and another, much deeper, kiss. When he finally pulled away, Lia spun around and pulled Tommy down the hall.

“I just made breakfast and I’m starving; come into the kitchen.”

Tommy dutifully followed her through to the kitchen appreciatively noting all the homey little touches she had put on the place. Flowers and candles, scarves and books—hints of her interests and her style were everywhere. He leaned against the countertop and smoked as she pulled toast from the oven and poured tea. Lost in thought, he looked her up and down and mused that he could get used to watching her fix his breakfast, but then raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side when he noticed his boot socks slouching down around her ankles.

“Are those mine? I’ve been searching all over for those. They’re my favorite to wear to the barn.”

Lia replied only with a devilish smirk.

They settled down at the table and Lia began eating, stopping to spread marmalade on her toast and making satisfied noises with each bite. Tommy smoked and drank his tea, amused by her uncharacteristic lapse in table manners.

When she’d had her fill, she asked, “What has you out and about so early on a Saturday?”

He answered her question with one of his own. “Do you have plans for the day?”

“Not particularly. I’d planned on spending a lazy day in my knickers and my new favorite socks. Why do you ask?”

“I’d like for you to accompany me to London this afternoon. I must check into some things in the city, and I want to show you around.”

“That would be brilliant. I’d love to go.”

“I can show you where I work…”

“Parliament. You mean Parliament.”

“Yes.” He paused for a moment and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “Then I thought we could get an early supper and go back to my apartment for a night in. Drive back tomorrow.”

“I’d like that very much. When do you want to leave?”

“As soon as you can be ready,” he said in a playful tone that had her springing up from her chair and kissing him with orange marmalade flavored lips before running upstairs to change.

The thrill of seeing Lia’s face light up would never get old. When he was with her, the world seemed bright and new again. The other women in his life had been more subdued, jaded, and sometimes cynical. Lia was none of those things. She was a magic combination of intellect, backbone, and naiveté. She made him laugh, and she could drive him wild. She made him feel alive. What Lia could not know is that Tommy had a deeper reason for wanting her to accompany him on that day. He meant to slowly acclimate her to the idea of being on his arm in the big city. He had plans for her in London.

#peaky blinders fiction #peaky blinders fic #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x oc #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #all is fair

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gunnerpalace · 4 years

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I belonged to another heated (but no longer debatable imho) ship were I've known a lot to be IH. And ofc I feel bad they have to bear witness to people so salty about the ending and hated Ino. I hate Ino too with burning passion, and that kinda made me feel guilty. But the psychology major in me was baffled as to how they conclude immediately w/ no analysis she was hated not only because of ships but because either she was written terribly, or she was written to be terrible. Or probably both.

Why cant Ichigo and Rukia be married to someone we could *infer* (because duh it’s not canon they will argue) they are in love with? Someone they have shown to share bond with? “Oh well, its becoming commonplace that the hero doesnt end up w/ main heroine, it’s revolutionary!” Bullshit. Sadly that is logic fallacy you dumbasses. Where’s the progress? Kubo tried, barely even. And again, it’s not even about the ships, its the entire work that has become an anomaly–Bleach as became Bleauuughch.

Again, I feel bad they have to bear the weight of evert criticism, the insult, and the salt of basically a majority of bleach fandom. But I hope they can tell that majority (like 99.99999999998%) of the criticisms are valid and not just hate. If they couldnt bear to actual do analysis of why people hated it, then dont bother plead or guilt trip or go to ppl inboxes why should we just move on. Well, majority already did that’s why all was left were ppl who couldnt be bothered with actual quality.

Here’s the ugly truth about people: they can’t read.

Or they don’t want to.

We have this holdover idea from the Enlightenment that if you can gather enough evidence in fine and exacting enough detail, that you can not only discern some kind of truth, but convince other people of it through the preponderance of evidence. And we have structured our society around that idea, from politics to law to science to academia in general.

The trouble is that that idea is bullshit outside of academia.

That is not at all how regular people approach the world.

And the more we rely upon an idea that people are rational, the more we will be lost at and disappointed by the actuality that people are irrational and emotional.

Consider climate change. The scientific community has had roughly 97% consensus that climate change is being anthropomorphically driven (that is to say, somewhere between overwhelmingly and entirely caused by human activity) since at least the very early 2000s, if not back much earlier. Indeed, we know that the oil companies were aware of it at least as early as 1981! And here we are in 2020, with some 31% of the population either unsure of or disbelieving in it.

Whenever the matter is debated politically, scientists will trot out their facts and drop them on the table and point. The facts are self-evident, they feel. And then the conservative politicians will shrug and say, “I don’t believe you.”

And the scientists have no idea what to do about that. Because to their minds, facts are indisputable. You cannot argue with them.

But you can, as the conservatives illustrate. You just choose not to believe in them.

We are witnessing something very similar with COVID-19 at the moment, with large swathes of the (American) population simply not believing it to be a threat, in spite of all available evidence to the contrary.

We see the same thing with political leadership debating the question of whether to prioritize health or economics, and our media treating this as if it is a legitimate policy debate, when we already know the answer to that question from the Spanish Flu of 1918: towns and cities that were locked down and quarantined suffered fewer casualties and had much faster economic rebounds.

People generally do not read.

People generally do not process.

People generally do not analyze.

People generally do not learn.

And if they can’t do those things for very large-scale existential threats that can threaten anything from tens to hundreds of millions of people worldwide, to the entire ecosphere of the planet, why would one expect them do so for a piece of fiction?

If people cannot handle cold, hard statistical facts, or simple arithmetic, then they certainly cannot handle something as “subjective” as facial expressions or dialogue. I have written recently about how the attitude toward non-fandom things (e.g., politics) increasingly resembles that of fandom, of approaching everything as though it is merely an aesthetic exercise.

That is really what we are dealing with here: ignorance. And not merely ordinary ignorance, not even willful ignorance, but an ignorance so deliberate and cultivated that its goal is nothing less than the total erasure of the facts. (The problem here, in this particular example, are of course the people who say unequivocally, “Ichigo always loved Orihime,” in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Someone who says, “It is clear to me this wasn’t a thing, but I like IH aesthetically,” is a non-issue.)

(Demanding or trying to force this former perspective does, as you suggest in the third ask, indicate a certain insecurity and a tacit admission that the perspective being advanced is illegitimate or poorly substantiated. However, for the people so enthralled to openly admit that is a psychological admission of defeat so severe that most would literally rather die than own up to being wrong to such an extent, and to suffer the attendant internal loss of face. So they seek continual external validation of it to shore it up.)

There is, in essence, no point in communicating with this kind of fan whatsoever. They are functionally like how Kyle Resse describes the Terminator in The Terminator:

Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!

There is a lot of tepid discussion out there in political circles that the degree of polarization in society today is unprecedented and that a way to bridge that gap could be through shared interests and values. But in my opinion, fandom proves exactly the opposite is true: the reasons people like things that are nominally “shared interests,” and their view of those things and why they are good, are completely and utterly irreconcilable. There is, essentially, virtually zero overlap in a Venn diagram of the perspectives. Shared interests divide as much as they will ever unite.

In that regard, Bleach should be treated as both a warning and a grim assessment of our world as a whole. It is not really an aberration.

It is the future.

This community (among others) has simply been living in it a few years in advance of other people. Everyone else has gotten their first big taste of it with Trump. (The Republicans have been constructing an alternate reality since 1964, but comparatively few people were aware of how deep the rabbit hole went.)

In my estimation, it is not worth engaging with people over a shared interest with sincerity, let alone in good faith, unless you have done some degree of vetting of their perspective. Most likely observing them or their works for a time. Without that, you simply open yourself up to these people who show a total lack of discernment or rationality.

And that is a large part of why social media is such an absolute garbage fire, because as platforms they are built around precisely the opposite notion. (And largely in defiance of the idea that people might want to curate their experiences or might not want to have “healthy debate,” which is almost never healthy and seldom ever debate). Some would argue this leads to echo chambers and hug boxes, but it’s not like the alternative that these companies have produced (for profit, of course, rather than for of any ideological mission) is any better.

To boil it all down, what we are really forced to rely on (quite sadly) is a free market approach: no matter how much that side rages and waves their “canon” status around, they simply do not produce much content. They will starve long before our side does, regardless of any other factors. (Their “canon” status did not help them any in the past four years.) And the people who are agnostic (e.g., the “I’m Still Bleach” crowd that is for some reason vaguely invested in the series as a whole) will lose interest and move on to the next shiny thing.

The only thing that is necessary in the face of all this is really patience. In the meantime, the best thing is simply to ignore the existence of such parties utterly.

#Asks

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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You often saya you think bruce is a good dad in young justice, so i'm curious, how do you think Dick decided to become Nightwing? And how do you think his relationship with jason was like??

I do think Bruce is a much better dad (consistently) and has a much stronger relationship with Dick than in the comics. At least for the age Dick is for the second and third season, which corresponds to when Dick and Bruce had their most strained relationship in the comics.

To be honest, I credit a lot of that to the fact that even though there certainly are times in the comics where I really like Bruce….I think he’s pretty much always portrayed better in the animated adaptations. I think that has a lot to do with the audience the cartoons are written towards…..obviously, many, many adults have enjoyed the various cartoons as well, but there’s no denying that they’re meant to appeal to younger audiences in particular. So, there’s a concerted effort on the part of the writers to well, write a more kid-friendly Batman than the grim and gritty figure so many comic book writers are obsessed with keeping him as, without variation.

Note….this doesn’t mean that Bruce can’t ever be (and isn’t ever) those things in the various cartoons. He’s still a dour, cynical, dark figure compared to most of his teammates in various adaptations….but there are degrees to that sort of thing, and ways to pull off those personality traits that aren’t so inherently alienating to audiences and as often prone to violence or conflict with his own family as many comic book writers make them.

I think the key difference is a lot of comic book writers, especially in the last couple decades, prioritize pushing Bruce to various extremes and ‘exploring’ the limits of what a hero is, and how far you can go while still being termed an actual hero or even a good man. Compare this to the cartoons, where most of them, even when emphasizing Bruce’s more antisocial traits, never go anywhere near the worst territory in the comics…because the cartoons still remain cognizant of the need to keep Bruce….a hero in the eyes of children as well.

And the way he’s written in the comics, at least lately, just…isn’t that.

Anyway, point being, I think he and Dick have a lot less conflict in the YJ universe, and in how I headcanon and write them there, though that doesn’t mean its always smooth sailing. I personally always go with a take that in that universe Bruce adopted Dick while he was still living at home, somewhere around twelve or thirteen maybe, after he’d been living with Bruce for three or four years. There’s nothing really in YJ continuity that contradicts that, and there’s no storylines predicated on conflict over him not being adopted, so there’s no reason in my mind not to have him adopted fairly early on and give him a more secure grounding in his relationship with Bruce in that continuity.

So as a result, even though I think due to certain core differences, there was always going to be some conflict between Bruce and Dick as the latter got older, due primarily to Dick’s need for independence and self-agency and Bruce’s issues with only feeling secure with having a measure of control over situations and thus struggling with Dick moving towards more autonomy in his life as for Bruce that correlates to it being harder to protect him….

Like, I think that was still a thing in the YJ universe, but due to Dick feeling more secure in his place in Bruce’s eyes and family, and Bruce feeling equally secure due to Dick having accepted his offer of adoption and expressing that he doesn’t really want to ever not be a part of Bruce’s family even if he’s not living at home anymore or even in Gotham….I think that’s really all that’s needed to keep things from ever getting TOO bad between them.

Then however, there’s things with Jason - one thing that’s always had me really eager to see them get to Jason’s story in YJ is that for years, Weisman has mentioned in passing that in that universe Dick and Jason were very close before Jason’s death. Which of course, is like catnip for me. LOL. So I tend to headcanon that Jason was adopted not long after coming to live with Bruce, but there was no conflict or insecurity or even reason for those things between the brothers and Dick and Jason became close pretty early on.

And so personally, I headcanon that Jason was a large part of the reason for Dick’s transition to Nightwing….I think he was already organically feeling that Robin, as he’d put so much effort into making a symbol during his own time in that mantle, like….no longer quite fit him or who he wanted to be as a hero, specifically, as he grew older. And that perhaps Dick wanted Robin to remain associated with Batman, his father, in a way that it might eventually come to no longer be associated with Bruce if Dick had stayed Robin even after moving away to another city and becoming more strongly associated with that city.

And IMO Jason was always going to want to go the Robin route himself, not just to be like Dick or whatever but just because Jason is very proactive and action minded, and while I don’t think either Bruce or Dick would have encouraged it or pushed him towards it, like….my view of Jason is that he was never going to be okay with sitting at home safe and secure when his father and brother were out on the streets fighting supervillains and risking their lives to protect people. He was always going to want to be part of that, IMO, and I think upon recognizing this inevitability, Dick (like he did in the pre-Crisis comics) is the one that actually gave Robin to Jason in the YJ universe, with his blessing, and then he took up the Nightwing mantle for his pre-Crisis reasonings - the hero he shifts into becoming as Nightwing was in his eyes a result of being inspired by Bruce, Clark and his first father in various ways.

However, there are drawbacks to this of course, when Jason dies….because due to having given Robin to his brother himself, Dick inevitably feels a lot more responsible and guilt-stricken here, like if he hadn’t done that this would never have happened - even though, as I said, Dick ultimately only gave Robin to Jason because he was sure Jason was determined to go the vigilante route with or without anyone else’s blessing, and so with that in mind it only made sense to offer him Robin and enable Jason to carry on in a family tradition at the same time.

So Dick, in my YJ headcanons and writing, distances himself from Bruce, Gotham and pretty much everyone in the wake of Jason’s death, because of his guilt and his unwillingness to let anyone like, pardon him for that guilt or tell him its undeserved. Because Dick is only 19 in Season 2 and was 14 in S1, I headcanon Jason as not being five years younger than him the way I view them as being in the comics….rather I bump Jason up a couple years so he and Dick are only about three years apart, and go with the idea that Dick was fifteen when Jason was adopted at age twelve by Bruce, which is about how old he was when taken in by Bruce in the comics.

So I put Jason’s death as happening only about a year, maybe a year and a half before YJ S2, when Dick is only 18…..so a lot of how I see Dick reacting here, and how he deals with his grief and guilt, like, stems from him being young and not really wanting to RELINQUISH his guilt. He’s experienced so much tragedy in his life already by age 18 that like, he needs it to make sense, he needs there to be a reason, and that gets twisted in his head so that he comes to lean on his guilt and rely on it, because the extension of it being his fault, is like….that means there’s a REASON Jason is dead, and by blaming himself, Dick is able to kind of impose a sort of artificial order on what is ultimately just a senseless tragedy, violence that needed no reason to exist.

Grief rarely makes sense.

But point being, like I said, I feel Bruce is a bit more emotionally healthy and put together in YJ than in the comics a lot of the times, so here I emphasize him trying to work through his own grief by FOCUSING on his remaining son, rather than alienating him and immersing himself in violence and his own guilt. Trying to help Dick through his grief and loss and guilt at the death of his brother, after having lost his first family just a decade before, whereas Bruce’s own initial tragedy is further removed for him….like, here, this is how Bruce copes. It gives him a goal, something to focus on, a productive direction to channel his grief and anger and energy.

Unfortunately, the thing is, you can’t really ever help someone through their grief or loss in something like this, IMO. You can only really ever just….be there for them, when they’re ready and able to come to terms with it in their own way and just need your presence and support. Which Bruce does here, for Dick, but the caveat to that is there’s no timeline to it, and no way to speed up that timeline. It happens when it happens. Sometimes these things just need some degree of time to work themselves out, and I think that here, Dick needs time to spend feeling guilty, being angry, raging at the senselessness of it all before he’s able to accept the tragedy of it and the fact that it happened because it happened. Reasons ultimately don’t do much more than chart a course to the tragedy. They rarely change anything about it having happened.

So again, even though its the right thing to do and not really something he had any better alternative to, Bruce trying to get Dick to see that Jason’s death wasn’t his fault is ironically the thing that alienates them for a period here, even if only a year or two at most. Because as I said, Dick just doesn’t want to hear that, doesn’t want to accept that, because blaming himself is something he can DO, and if he doesn’t have even that anymore, then there’s nothing to distract him from facing the simple reality that’s just…his brother is gone and nothing he can do or say is going to change that.

And then there’s Tim. I always view him as about two years younger than Jason in the comics and the same here, so if Jason is 15 when he dies and Dick is 18, Tim is 13 when he becomes Robin.

But again, there’s differences here, because Bruce is actually dealing with Jason’s death a bit more healthily here, in as much as that’s possible. By focusing his attention on Dick and trying to get him through this and them through this as a family, Bruce is able to avoid the spiral he goes through in the comics, where he descends into brutality and self-destruction in his crime-fighting. Here, he’s trying to be a rock for Dick, when Dick is ready to try and grab hold of something instead of just drowning in his grief, so the end result is there’s not the same canon impetus for Tim to seek out Dick or Bruce himself out of concern for Batman’s behavior.

So rather, its more just hero worship that motivates Tim. I headcanon him as having figured out their identities previously, same as in the comics, and him being like, a huge fanboy of both Robins and having been among the first to realize when Jason took Dick’s place as Robin, even before Nightwing debuted and people connected the dots there. So of course, when Robin was nowhere to be found and Jason Todd was announced dead, Tim knew why Robin wasn’t out there anymore, and that he was never going to be again.

And so here, I think that alone is what motivates Tim, as that’s the thing he’s not able to accept. I think its a fitting grief reaction for Tim’s age, given that in a way, it is grief. He might not have known the Waynes personally at this point in time, but he did KNOW them in a way, from following their public lives in both their civilian and costumed personas. So it makes sense to me that Tim, knowing that Jason Todd and thus Robin is dead, and knowing that he’s one of the few people to even KNOW for sure that Robin is dead, like….it makes sense to me that he would end up grieving in a kind of way himself, even just from a distance, knowing that he can’t really just go up to the Waynes and offer his condolences about Robin.

And so for a thirteen year old fanboy who is grieving for a fallen hero he never knew personally, just via his symbol, and is perhaps frustrated and maybe even angry that nobody else is grieving for Robin, because the general public has no idea that a hero even fell….even being able to understand WHY it had to be that way, why Batman and the JLA weren’t announcing Robin’s death in order to protect the remaining Waynes’ identities….

I think here, this all culminated in an unwillingness, a refusal to accept this, and from there it kinda morphs for Tim into a determination to….keep Robin alive, essentially. He understands why they can’t admit Robin’s dead, he does. But if Robin can’t be dead, Tim decides, then he needs to be alive, otherwise its like pretending Robin just…..doesn’t exist anymore.

So here, I headcanon/write Tim as having set out as Robin himself, in kind of a makeshift costume and trying to help people the way he watched Dick and then Jason help people as Robin for years, as just…a combination of hero worship and a grieving thirteen year old trying to process things there’s no real manual to going through, and trying to honor his fallen hero by emulating him. I don’t think he was actually trying or intending to attract Batman’s intention, though he’d realize in hindsight it was inevitable, its just…that was never why he was doing it, so he was kinda like AWARE of it as a likely possibility, it just wasn’t particularly relevant to him until it happened.

And of course, it’d be quickly obvious to Bruce that this kid didn’t mean any disrespect with what he was doing, the exact OPPOSITE in fact, so its not like he could in good conscience be angry with him or resent him for doing it. Rather, he’s touched, it means a lot to see someone else honoring Jason for the things Bruce is kinda STUCK being unable to honor him for….so that makes Bruce perhaps a little more predisposed to Tim and not fighting him on his efforts than he otherwise would be, just considering it was as Robin that Jason died. I see it as Tim probably reminded him of Jason then and there just as Jason had reminded him of Dick when he met him…..rather than see himself in each of his sons and future sons, he sees THEM in each other.

So he kinda convinces himself not to talk himself out of letting Tim continue what he’s doing, justifying it as like, Tim’s obviously so much like both Jason and Dick, there’s no way he’s not going to keep doing this on his own if he feels this strongly about it, and he understands and even agrees with Tim’s logic in doing all of this in the name of Robin, like it makes sense to him as a way of honoring Jason, so he kinda just….like I said, he just talks himself out of talking Tim out of this and focuses on just training Tim and trying to make him as capable and prepared to survive anything he encounters as possible. And at the same time, Tim kinda becomes a new ‘project’ for Bruce to distract himself from his own grief with, especially while Dick is avoiding him.

Dunno if you’ve seen my meta on this subject but I really LOATHE the take that is used for Tim’s comic book narrative, that Batman NEEDS Robin and that this thirteen year old shouldered the burden of becoming a grown adult’s emotional support child in order to stop him from like, beating people and himself to the point of hospitalization. To me that’s just…..super backwards and not ideal at all, so I flipped it here to what I think it should be, at least for a world predicated on child superheroes who aren’t grounded from crime-fighting each and every time they try it.

So rather, in the YJ universe I posit Tim becomes Robin to keep Robin alive, after knowing he must be dead, and Bruce devotes himself to helping the latest caped kid to plant himself in his life and say “I’m gonna go save the world whether you like it or not so get on board or get outta the way old man,” like….actually survive their “Kids, Don’t Try This At Home, No But Seriously, Really, Really Don’t” life choices.

And so here, Bruce doesn’t make Tim Robin….its more he just doesn’t have the heart to second guess Tim’s choice there, given his reasons for making it and the fact that Bruce no doubt feels guilty about not being able to honor his son as Robin himself.

Problem is, from a distance, that’s not how it would look to Dick. So this contributes to Dick’s distance and alienation for a few months at first….because to him, this is a betrayal, because he looks at what he knows of the situation and he doesn’t know Tim personally yet, so to him it looks like his dad took the one thing Dick ever gave to his brother that was truly his, that was just theirs…and gave it to some stranger. And he’s like, wow, I’ll take “You’re fucking dead to me for $500, Alex” and keeps his distance.

Except Tim hero-worshipped Dick just as much as he had Jason, and he’s witness to Bruce’s unhappiness because of his strained relationship with his son, and so Tim sets out to like, meet Dick and convince him that his dad is miserable because he never wanted to hurt either of his boys and he loves Dick so much, gosh, he just wished Dick knew how much…..

And the thing is HERE, unlike in comics, since the real issue is Dick not knowing Tim himself and seeing how similar he is to Jason and himself and how determined he was, like, having a backwards perception of Bruce just kinda….giving Robin to Tim rather than Tim just genuinely wanting to honor Jason’s memory, which Dick of course can’t actually fault him for any more than Bruce can, for pretty much the same reasons….

Because THAT is the specific issue, here, meeting Tim and getting to know him IS exactly what’s needed to get Dick to reconcile with Bruce, and from there, finally start to heal as Bruce and Tim and Dick and Alfred are kinda all able to finally get on the same page and help each other with that.

And then stuff with Tim’s parents happened, I figure, and Bruce is like, well I gotta adopt you now, like duh, obviously, but I mean, only if you want, and Tim is like well yeah, obviously, like duh, and this probably all happened right around the exact same time Cass came into their lives and family and Steph started Spoilering around town because what is pacing, I mean, really.

BUT then bonus to all of that is that then by the time Jason DOES come back, he doesn’t feel as alienated or forgotten as in the comics, because Dick due to his and Bruce’s very apparent period of estrangement, not to mention Dick’s reasons, is able to act as a bridge between Jason and Bruce. And similarly, he’s able to blunt Jason’s resentment of Tim and insecurities about being replaced by virtue of the fact that Dick held these very things against Bruce himself on Jason’s behalf, until Dick got to know Tim and began to see it the way Bruce had, and that he in turn is now able to relay to Jason and help guide him to see it the same way and how everything only happened this way BECAUSE of everyone’s memories and feelings about him, not in spite or in dismissal of those things.

And thus I can this way see the YJ Batfamily awkwardly stumbling (albeit with a few backsteps along the way) towards actual happy and healthy cohesiveness, huzzah!

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sweetteaanddragons · 5 years

Text

Ancient History

Bruthir glared down at one of the small cakes his landlady had made in honor of the occasion and tried to ignore the sounds of jubilation in the street outside the alley he was sulking in. It was harder than it had been for the past few hours; the noise had swelled, first with music that had very nearly lulled him out, then with shouting once the music ended. A few people had run into his alley, looking around wildly, but they had left quickly enough when they had seen that there was nothing more interesting than him sitting on his barrel, glaring at his last cake. His curiosity had nearly provoked him into asking who or what they were looking for, but that would have required ending his sulk, and he still had several hours left in which to do that. That had been his deal with himself: today he could sulk, and tomorrow he would have to get back to work.

Not even today, though, could he ignore the cloaked man who came running into the alley via an even narrower one. The man’s face was shadowed, but his head turned frantically, and it froze in place when Bruthir came into its view.

“Don’t mind me,” he called glumly. “Unless you’re planning to set the whole city ablaze, I don’t much care what you’re running from.”

The figure relaxed and moved closer. “Nothing so bad as all that,” he said a bit hoarsely, and Bruthir got a glimpse of a harp under his cloak. “Merely a disappointed audience.” He hesitated. “And in the interest of complete honesty, possibly the city guard if they’ve decided I disturbed the peace.”

Bruthir was almost certain he was missing something, but he was even more certain he didn’t care. “Pull up a barrel then.” Sulking had started to feel a bit lonely, so when the man lingered in the shadows of the other alley, he lifted up his cake enticingly. “I’ll share my cake.”

The stranger laughed. “It has indeed been a very long time since I’ve had any cake. Thank you, I accept.”

Bruthir tore it in half and handed it over. “If only it was for another occasion.”

The stranger paused, and there was not so much an air of hesitance this time as tension. Bruthir gulped and resisted the urge to lean back.

“You don’t approve of the king’s marriage?”

The stranger’s hood had shifted, and Bruthir managed to catch a quick glimpse of sharp, gaunt features and the beginning of a pointed ear. In a moment it was gone, but it had been enough. Bruthir might be more accustomed to them in books than life, but he knew an elf when he saw one. This must be one of the ones that had come for Lady Arwen and the marriage, though he couldn’t imagine what the elf was doing this far from the main event. Regardless, the last thing he wanted was for this elf to carry back tales of discontent to the new royal couple.

“The king’s marriage is fine,” he said hastily. “He’s every right to marry whoever he likes, and I’m sure the Lady Arwen is an excellent choice.”

The elf was still regarding him silently. Apparently an explanation of his sullenness would be required.

He sighed. “It’s just made my thesis very awkward, that’s all. I’m probably going to have to start all over if I’m to have any hope of it being approved.”

“Your - thesis,” the elf said disbelievingly, but he had at least relaxed enough to take a bite of the cake.

“I want to be a scholar in the citadel,” he explained. “I’ve been studying for years. All that’s left is the thesis which has to be approved by my elders and - if it meets their approval - either the steward or the king. That last step is more of a formality than anything else really, everyone I’ve talked to has said that Denethor certainly never did more than give them a cursory glance, but at the very least they’ll surely read the title.”

“And the title is not complimentary towards elves?” the stranger asked. He seemed more amused than offended, thankfully.

“It’s not that,” he said. “It’s just . . . complicated.”

The elf took a seat on a nearby barrel and leaned back against the stone wall behind him. “Tell me about it,” he suggested. “Maybe I can help.”

Well, why not? Maybe he could. At the very least, he needed to get out one good rant.

“There’s been a lot written on the changing view of the elves in Numenor,” he began. “Quite naturally, as that view was generally tied to that of the Valar and thus was tied with the fall, a subject that continues to preoccupy many. I decided to focus on a more specific group of elves: those involved in the myths surrounding Sirion.”

The elf let out a strangled noise. “Myths?”

“Well, we know it was real, but exactly what happened has become rather obscured by time . . . “ His voice trailed off. “Although not for the elves, I suppose,” he said with fresh interest. “Did you know anyone who was there?”

“Yes,” the elf said shortly. Bruthir briefly wrestled with whether or not to pry before remembering that his thesis was useless now anyway and slumping down again.

“Elwing and Earendil held a special place as King Elros Tar-Minyatur’s parents, of course, but the Feanorians were also a subject of considerable fascination to the Numenoreans. By the end, all elves were scorned by all but the Faithful, and the Faithful had become a little uncomfortable with both groups since both had defied the Valar.”

“The Feanorians I can hardly argue, but surely Elwing and Earendil - ?”

“But they sailed,” Bruthir said, shaking his head. “And with both of them half-mortal too! It worked out for them in the end - or so we think, there’s some interesting subversive readings about exactly how literally we should take Earendil being a star - but they still sailed to the Undying Lands, the very thing the King’s Men wished to do. You can see why the Faithful didn’t wish to promote that tale.”

“I suppose so.”

“For those very reasons, in the transition period when the King’s Men didn’t take quite such a hard stance against elves, the Feanorians and the half-elven were treated as honorable exceptions for their defiance and, in the latter case, for their connection to mortality and their kinship with the first king. Later in that period, Earendil and Elwing were considered to have sold out to the Valar while the Feanorians lingered on as a symbol of defiance and the right to sail where people willed whether the Valar willed or no - Are you alright?”

The elf’s hooded head had fallen into his hands. “I’m fine,” he said, sounding rather muffled. “Keep going.”

“If you’re sure,” he said doubtfully. “Further back, there’s a much less complicated veneration of Earendil and Elwing and the Feanorians were less prominent except for those engaged in studies of history or who enjoyed the occasional tragedy at the theater.”

“Theater?” The elf asked, his voice a mix of interest and dread.

“We have a few surviving fragments,” Bruthir said, “though of course so much was lost that it’s hard to be sure of conclusions. We could be missing something critical. Which is what made the final section of my thesis so risky.” He ate a bite of cake despondently. “I was tracing it all backwards, you see, so the final section was on what King Elros himself thought.”

The elf’s head shot up so quickly his hood fell off. He really was quite gaunt. Dangerously so. He hadn’t thought elves suffered from scarcity. “And what did you conclude?”

“Well, that’s the interesting thing,” he said, getting caught up despite himself and leaning forward. “There’s almost nothing. Granted, it could have just been lost, but those early records were among those texts prioritized for salvation. We have plenty of scraps about the war, and those mention all of them, but in the praise poems and genealogies . . . You’ll find some things about Gondolin, but very little about Doriath, and even less about anyone at all involved in Sirion. The one scrap we thought we did have is a letter where his daughter comments to a friend that a bard had sung of her grandparents and the Feanorians, and that the king had been ‘very much displeased, and not nearly so diplomatic as usual about it.’ Which is interesting, but hardly conclusive. Were they too flattering to parents he resented? Not flattering enough to parents he idolized? Too prone to glorifying his kidnappers? Too prone to vilifying the men who must have played a large part in his raising? Was it too accurate and raised up bad memories? Or was it all wrong and offensive for it?” He took a deep breath. “You see the problem.”

The other man slumped. “I do.”

“Then I made my discovery. Apparently, he was a bit of a musician himself, and on the back of a rather more historically significant document, I found what I’m almost sure are quickly sketched drafts of his own attempt to memorialize the events. He seemed very . . . frustrated. With both his failed attempts and with everyone involved in the actual event. But he also seemed very wistful. Fond, even.” He sighed. “So that was my conclusion. But while it’s one thing to present such a thing to a steward, and even an acceptable thing to present such a thing to the king about his far distant ancestor, it’s quite another to hand it off for review when it’s talking about the queen’s uncle. And her grandparents, for that matter.”

The elf swallowed hard. “Yes,” he said hoarsely. “Quite. She never met any of them, but I’m sure her father has told her much.” He looked away for a moment, and when he turned back, his face was more cheerful. “Perhaps if you dropped the parts about the far more controversial Feanorians and concentrated on her grandparents that would be better? You could add in something flattering about how they’re thought of now.”

“I’m not much good at flattery,” he said doubtfully, but hope was rising in him regardless. Perhaps not all his research would have to be thrown out.

“Turn it in as is,” another voice recommended. “I, for one, am very interested in reading it.”

Both of them spun to see that another elf had slipped in through of the mouth of the alley while they were distracted. Some strong emotion lurked almost hidden on his face. His splendid clothes opened Bruthir’s eyes to just how ragged his first companion’s were.

Said companion had gone very pale. “Elrond.” He dropped off his barrel and began to back away.

Elrond? Not - Surely not the Elrond that was the queen’s father -

“Don’t,” Elrond pleaded, reaching out a hand. “Please don’t run, Maglor. Not today of all days.”

Maglor. Not -

Did you know someone at Sirion?

He had not asked that question of Maglor Feanorian. That was impossible. He was dead. Or wandering lost somewhere that wasn’t Gondor’s back alleyways.

But surely no one else would have chosen that name for their son?

Maglor, son of someone who was not Feanor, slumped and held up his hands in defeat. “I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” he said. “I am - very sorry to have disturbed you today. So very sorry. I only wanted to give a gift of song, even if your daughter wouldn’t hear it. I hadn’t realized I would draw such a crowd as to cause a disturbance, out of practice with performance as I am.”

Elrond was the first elf Bruthir had ever seen look exasperated. It was a very human expression on him. “Maglor, you remain the greatest bard the Noldor have ever produced. Of course you drew a crowd. A crowd that is now very disappointed at how you vanished when the city guard got lured in to listening, mind you.”

The greatest bard the Noldor had ever produced.

So this was Maglor Feanorian.

He had just ranted to Maglor Feanorain about his place in the Numenorean imagination. Historical ecstasy hit self-preserving nausea and roiled unpleasantly.

“Someone mentioned the incident to Faramir. I was lucky enough to overhear,” Elrond continued. “And when I heard that a ragged elf had enchanted half the city with songs for the wedding . . . Well, it was either you or Daeron, and I liked my chances.”

Maglor’s head fell. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I should have realized my good intentions would still turn to the ill.”

“The ill?” Elrond laughed, and Bruthir abruptly realized that the hidden emotion was joy. “Today I have had to give away one family member to another, but I’ve found another at long last. Surely a small disturbance, already calmed, is worth that!” He stepped forward, and Bruthir half-expected Maglor to bolt, but he looked up with cautious hope instead.

“Elrond - “

Elrond was close enough to touch now. He held out a hand in entreaty. “Come back to the celebration with me,” he said. “Please. Arwen would surely like to hear your songs for herself, and Aragorn too. There’s no one here who will cause any trouble over it.”

Maglor hesitated.

It seemed another push might be needed. Presumably that was why his mouth opened and said, without quite obtaining his consent, “You might as well go. I’m sure they’ll have better cake.”

That actually startled a laugh out of the Feanorian. “If you wish it then, Elrond,” he said quietly, clasping the outstretched hand.

Elrond’s answering smile was brilliant, and it turned grateful when he looked over to Bruthir. “You must come too, of course,” he said. “I really am quite interested in your research.”

Why not, Bruthir though blankly, his day had certainly been strange enough for it.

It would certainly be more interesting than sulking.

#maglor #elrond #oc #gondor #fourth age #numenor #reunion #accidentally talking about legends to their faces #fic #tolkien #silmarillion #lotr #lord of the rings

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soulvomit · 5 years

Text

The female face of technological job loss. Nobody fucking cares!

NOBODY talks about how so much national productivity loss is specifically female productivity, how much social mobility loss is specifically female, and nobody talks about how the living wage jobs left to women require college education. (Just as we only barely talk about the racial and cultural politics and cissexist politics of industrial and trades work.) Just as we don’t talk about the fact that we also refuse to provide the conditions that would grow a labor force of trained STEM workers, which I suspect would take about 25 years because it would require growing them from the ground up! We would have to have massive overhauls to our social support system to produce the STEM labor force that other countries produce. EVEN FEMINISTS ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. I’m not even sure *intersectional feminists* talk about it. I suspect that we just don’t care and that it’s another area where American culture hates a particular group of people so much that it’s willing to fuck over everyone else just to keep that one group from ever having anything. Our system didn’t just turn working class white men against everyone else, it also turned them against women. I suspect that white American culture hates women and POC and immigrants so much that we’re willing to completely yank away our educational system just to keep these people out of the workforce. Pressuring women to go into traditionally male jobs (which are the only non-professional-class jobs left that pay a living wage) seems logical and practical, but to limit the analysis to that, misses the point. The whole system is broken. Even nursing, which has long been seen as the female parallel of skilled trade, suffers this given that you have to go to college. You don’t apprentice your way into being an RN. The requirements for entering the field have gotten higher and higher and the competition more and more fierce for entering those schools. So basically, what most women are actually left with, in the end, is service and domestic work. Which has a role in keeping us dependent on traditionalist men. Probably by design, when you consider that the same culture doesn’t want to provide child care. The culture wants to keep a handful of “ideal breeding stock” women barefoot and pregnant, and to starve the rest of us out. Part of the propaganda that a greater majority of white middle class people seem to swallow, is that middle class women didn’t work before the 1970s, and working class women and WOC just weren’t even worth talking about, I suppose. Working class white men are prioritized in these analyses, as if the only jobs and activities that are worthwhile are ones that are traditionally held by either upper middle class white men or working class white men. The reality is that in creating a feeding frenzy for trade and STEM jobs, we’re being pushed into the last economically viable jobs left, to compete with men, and eventually those sectors will die out, too. And women in general, and POC, will be blamed for killing those professions. Oh and for that matter, disabled people are losing a lot of workforce access too. All of this focus on jobs that only able bodied, neurotypical people can do, is really short sighted. My polio survivor, wheelchair using grandmother worked in office and clerk jobs for most of her adult life. It wasn’t easy, and she was an activist on behalf of what became the ADA. But in today’s job market, could she have competed with able-bodied, much more formally educated people *AT ALL* for the few paid office jobs left? When I say “few,” you’re going to point out that you know xyz person who is an administrative worker. But I want to point out that it was a whole sector, in the 1980s and before. When was the last time that you actually saw a typing pool? I’m not saying that women shouldn’t go into trade and STEM fields. They should - if they want to. And get equal pay. AND you should also be able to support yourself doing other things! Nobody ever got rich being a teacher or secretary, but in the 1980s most teachers *could* at least afford their own apartment, and administrative jobs were actually much more common and much lower competition than they are now. But let’s talk about history. We can’t imagine what life was like before the industrial age labor force, before the job market. We talk about the male jobs lost to the invention of mass production and the computer. (And the many jobs gained, as well - for middle and upper class men.) But we don’t talk about the independent businesswomen put out of business by the factory, whose work was replaced with sweatshop labor. We don’t talk about the female involvement in agriculture (and you will see this if you’re in a region that actually has family or independent farms) - being a farm wife, didn’t just mean that you had married a farmer. We don’t talk about the office jobs that were lost to computer and software innovations. When was the last time that you saw a typing pool? I bet you’ve never seen one. I bet you know very few professional clerical workers. We don’t talk about how the health industry is being impacted by the loss of virtually every traditionally female profession, since it’s really the one thing left for so many of us and now there is intense competition and there are increasing levels of privilege required to enter what were formerly “working class” status jobs. And looking back even deeper into time, we don’t talk about the lost productivity of women craftspeople and healers and midwives or how massive religious institutions and centralized imperial governments were the original disruptors, the original big box stores. We don’t talk about traditional female crafts no longer even being economically sustainable. “Kids moving to the city to get jobs, away from the traditional business” is always framed as a lifestyle choice and not an economic necessity. Of course I feel like women should be able to do trades and STEM work, and get equal pay for it. But we should be do practically anything else, too, and society needs all of those other professions to exist. Every technological and social disruption that impacted men, impacted women first. And we never talk about it. I’m not saying we should go back to the Stone Age, ffs. This is not a luddite analysis. I direct a lot of this specifically at the Anglophone world, let alone the US. But we really need to talk about this, going forward. We have been among the canaries in this coal mine the entire time. The same things that happen to us, eventually happen to male dominated industries as well. We only talk about these things when they happen to white men, so there has been a lot of talk about the jobs that are being lost to white men. All of this has been happening to women, throughout history. Nobody paid attention. Nobody fucking cared.

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secret-kpoplibrary · 5 years

Text

Mafia’s Girl Pt. 9

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 3228

Warnings: Mentions of violence nothing too brutal tho

Genre: All things considered; pretty much fluff

Summary: Being kidnapped and hired by the biggest gang leader in your city was never part of your plan. Yet here you are, working for him now, doing odd jobs here and there, nothing too dangerous. Little did you know he wanted more from you than to be just another employee. He planned to make you his. How exactly was he going to do that? With your attitude it wasn’t going to be easy, but what Suga wants, Suga gets, every time. Would you be the exception?

***

Yoongi is practically out of the car before it's even stopped moving once they pull into the driveway. Leaving the others to handle the half conscious Jackson that they'd brought here.

"Jin?!" Yoongi calls as he storms into the house. He goes up to your old room and finds Jin hovering over you and Namjoon seated next to him. They glance at him momentarily before their attention is back on you as Jin finishes stitching you up, properly, unlike Jackson's men.

"What happened? Is Jackson-" Jin asks as Yoongi sits on the other side of the bed and grasps one of your hands.

"The guys should be taking him to the basement now. I'll finish dealing with him later." Yoongi says looking at your sleeping face.

"She'll need pain killers when she wakes up. Luckily there wasn't any internal damage, none of the wounds punctured any organs so she'll be fine, she just needs to take it easy for the next two weeks so she doesn't rip her stitches. Obviously I'll come back to remove them." Jin says standing up.

"Get the others and wait for me in the meeting room, thank you Jin." Yoongi says. Jin nods before exiting the room. Namjoon and Yoongi remain silent for a few moments before Namjoon speaks up.

"Do you have pain killers for her or should I run and get some before she wakes up?" He asks snapping Yoongi out of his trance.

"I'll have some brought to you. You can stay with her for now, you can text Taehyung if she wakes up while I'm gone. He'll let me know. I have to go tie up some loose ends." Yoongi says, any trace of sadness leaving his face.

"Okay." Namjoon nods.

"It's a good thing you came to me. She could have died there had it not been for you." Yoongi says as he stands.

"I know. I can't imagine what I'd have done without her if that happened." Namjoon says brushing the hair out of your face.

"You and me both." Yoongi says, more to himself than Namjoon, as he exits the room. The others discuss quietly as they wait for their boss to join them in the meeting room.

"Did he kill Jackson?" Taehyung asks.

"Nope. He beat him up real bad but he's still alive." Jimin says.

"How's y/n?" Hoseok asks.

"She'll be okay. She has a lot of stitches, and lost a lot of blood, but as long as she rests, drinks lots of water, and gets some food in her system, she'll be fine in a couple weeks." Jin says.

"She was sitting in a pool of her own blood when we found her. Looking at her, all cut up and bleeding, barely able to keep her eyes open... I wanted to rip Jackson's head right off his shoulders." Taehyung says.

"I'm sure Suga has something far worse planned for Jackson. Why else would he bring him back here?" Hoseok muses. The sound of the door opening immediately silences their conversation.

"So. There are quite a few things we need to discuss. We'll start with the elephant in the room. What to do about our dear friend Jackson." Yoongi says taking his seat at the table. "I've... deliberated about it and decided the fairest thing to do would be to replicate y/n's wounds on the one who inflicted them, let him bleed for a bit, and then one of you can finish him off." Yoongi says.

"Who did you decide?" Jungkook asks.

"Taehyung, would you like to do it?" Yoongi turns to him.

"Really?" He seems surprised.

"You saw first hand what he did to her. I figured you'd want revenge for your friend. If you'd rather one of the others do it though-" Yoongi trails with a shrug.

"I'll do it." Taehyung says.

"Perfect. Next order. We have to deal with her friend. Namjoon."

"What about him?" Hoseok asks.

"He's not one of us, clearly not part of our life, and he knows far too much."

"But he's the only reason y/n's here, alive." Taehyung frowns.

"I know that." Yoongi says.

"So what do we do about him?" Jimin asks.

"We can't kill him. Y/n would have our heads on a silver platter for that." Hoseok says.

"I know that-"

"He's a genius with computers, and we do need to replace Eric. Plus y/n's done entirely field work so far, it's not like she's done any of the hacking stuff you told her she'd be doing." Taehyung says.

"Taehyung we don't know him like that to just-"

"But y/n does. She trusts him with her life. More than she trusts any of us I'm sure. He's been there for her through everything. If she trusts him so wholeheartedly then I trust him. Especially since he risked his life coming here because he thought something was wrong. You could have killed him as soon as he walked into your office but he prioritized her life over his." Taehyung argues.

"Being loyal to her doesn't mean he'll be loyal to me." Yoongi says.

"I mean you didn't know if y/n'd be loyal to you but you fell in love with her." Jin says.

"Just give him a shot. The other option is to kill him and y/n would go mental if we did that. Plus he's better with computers than any of us." Hoseok says.

"If he's joining the team though you should probably have y/n ask him. She can probably provide a more convincing argument to him than the rest of us." Taehyung says.

"Fine, but for now he'll need to be monitored. Have someone follow him to make sure he doesn't do anything suspicious." Yoongi says to Jungkook. "Hoseok stay with Namjoon and y/n and take some pain killers with you for when she wakes up. Taehyung come with me. The rest of you are dismissed." He says exiting the room. Everyone scrambles to their designated directives. Hoseok makes his way upstairs quickly to find you and Namjoon.

"Hey." He says when he enters the room.

"Oh. Hi Hoseok." Namjoon says. Hoseok puts the pain killers on the bedside table and sits next to Namjoon.

"She'll be okay." He whispers more to himself than to Namjoon. "Thank goodness she's going to be okay."

"What kind of sick fucks would do this to her?" Namjoon huffs. "I thought she would be safe when she told me her dad was dead."

"She's probably never going to be totally safe." Hoseok says.

"She was safer before she met your boss." Namjoon mutters bitterly.

"Yeah, maybe, but Suga fell in love with this girl. Probably the dumbest thing he could've done for her because now she's gonna be in constant danger."

"You aren't helping." Namjoon grits out.

"But he'd put his life on the line for her. Just like you. Her safety is the most important thing to him. I mean he and Jackson have been allies for years but because you thought y/n was in danger he risked his alliance over the word of someone he didn't know, because there was a chance you were right, that she was there. Which she was, but none of us knew that going in."

"I didn't either, but I couldn't sit back and assume she was okay." Namjoon says.

"Which is fair. You're like family. Of course you'd be worried about her safety. Suga's worried about her safety too. I know it seems hard to believe but he really does care about her. Of course he protects his own but he put himself in the direct line of danger for someone that wasn't Seokjin hyung, Tae, Jimin, Jungkookie, or myself."

"Is that meant to make me feel better?" Namjoon asks.

"I know it doesn't make this situation suck any less but you should be glad that she has someone who cares about her so strongly."

"She already does. Me. And I won't be putting her in danger."

"Look I understand that this life doesn't appeal to you very much, but it's not like he's not capable of protecting her from any danger she may be in because he's in love with her. This should be a good example, you had the knowledge to find her and he had the resources to protect her."

"She wouldn't need protecting if he had just left her the hell alone. She's spent her whole life running from this stuff. Her mom died because people like him."

"From what I understand her mom died because of people like her dad and I know that you may not understand him but Suga is not like her dad. It's not fair to lump them together because they have the same... profession. A few bad apples doesn't make the whole grove bad as they say."

"This grove is made of bad apples." Namjoon shakes his head.

"So what about y/n? She's part of the grove too, and me and Tae. Are we all bad apples too? That's not fair to say we're all like her dad just because you're spiteful against him on her behalf. She's made her peace with it. She doesn't seem to regret being one of us."

"I never said you guys were bad. I never said she should regret doing this. I'm just worried, things like this may happen again and I may not be able to protect her, or even help her next time." He sighs.

"Yeah well you helped this time. Will this be the last time? Probably not. None of us know. To be honest the target on her head didn't die with her father. If she decides to her place as Suga's #2 then she's much safer. I mean sure lots of people would want to but very few people have the strength to go after his girl, that kind of attack requires numbers, defenses, skills that most of his enemies don't fucking have. Jackson's a close second to him but after this even he's done for." Hoseok shrugs.

"It just feels like she's running towards the one thing her mom died trying to keep her out of. I have to protect her but there's only so much I can do." Namjoon says.

"We all want to keep her safe. Sure we go about it differently but if we're all in agreement that her safety is important fighting about how to do it doesn't help us any." Hoseok says.

"Why did he have to fall in love with the only person I have left?" Namjoon frowns.

"Trust me he didn't go looking to fall in love with her. She doesn't make it easy for him either." Hoseok chuckles.

"She doesn't make anything easy." Namjoon smiles softly. The pair lapse into silence after that. It's maybe an hour later that you peel your eyes open. You glance around the room trying to pinpoint where you are. You see Namjoon looking at his phone and Hoseok with his head on the bed by your leg. You immediately try to ask Namjoon what he's doing here but the effort to talk results in a coughing fit followed by a pained groan. Hoseok bolts up right and his head snaps to face you in record time.

"Y/n." He says.

"You're awake!" Namjoon says. You let out another groan and nod.

"I have to go tell Y-Suga!" Hoseok hops up. You grab Namjoon and mouth water to him.

"Seok grab some water when you come back!" He calls after Hoseok as he darts off.

"Got it!" He shouts back.

"Thank fuck you're okay." Namjoon says grabbing your hand. You have a lot of questions, but you're not going to talk until you get water and something to dull the splitting pain in your side so you nod instead. Hoseok doesn't take much longer to come back with a bottle of water. He and Namjoon gingerly move you into a sitting position. They help you drink some water.

"We have to get you food before you can take the pain killers. But Jin's on his way up with something to eat for you." Hoseok tells you. You nod again.

"What happened?" You ask. Your voice is quiet and hoarse.

"What do you remember?" Namjoon asks.

"I was at work... and this guy came up behind me telling me to go with him. I was going to put up a fight but the other guy was sitting at the bar and- they threatened to hurt you if I didn't go with them. They knocked me out in the car and I woke up tied to a chair with this guy I met at boss man's party. He- was going to use me to get to him. It's in patches from there." You work out slowly. The sentences take some effort to complete.

"Well we can't fill in what happened before we got to you but Namjoon called Tae and had Tae bring him here to talk to Yoongi. He was so sure you were in danger, something about a tracking device in your ring. When he brought it to Yoongi he... went into action. We all headed to your supposed location. He and Tae actually found you. Yoongi laid a smackdown on Jackson, your kidnapper while Namjoon, Tae, and Jin brought you here." Hoseok says.

"Laid a smackdown?" You ask.

"I come bringing food for my patient." Jin says dramatically placing the tray in your lap. "You need lots of fluids so I made ramen." He says. "Take it easy for the next two weeks. I'll come take out the stitches then."

"Thanks Jin." You smile before turning back to Hoseok.

"Y/n you shoulda seen it. Man he rocked Jackson's shit." Hoseok says.

"Where's Jackson now?" You ask. Hoseok and Jin exchange a look and you notice Jin glance at Namjoon. You can't tell if Namjoon noticed the exchange since he's busy trying to help you eat.

"Uh well-" Hoseok's sentence stops before it begins as Yoongi walks into the room.

"How are you feeling?" He asks taking a seat beside your bed.

"Weak and in pain." You say. His face softens.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he says running his hand through your hair. You find yourself leaning into his touch slightly. "Everyone out for a minute. I need to talk to her." Yoongi orders. Namjoon's reluctance to leave is evident but he follows Jin and Hoseok out regardless. "Y/n... what were you thinking? Telling that friend of yours about any of this?" He asks you. His tone is gentle but you know he's not happy with you.

"I couldn't leave him in the dark. We tell each other everything. Besides if I didn't tell him I could be dead by now." You say. "Being a mouthy hostage certainly doesn't get my any sympathy." You joke.

"That isn't funny. You could've actually been killed." He frowns.

"I wasn't though. You came for me. You didn't kill Namjoon when he came to you. He helped you find me." You say.

"We can't just have random civilians being aware of our well... everything-"

"He's not just a random civilian. He's all I've had for years. My mother died years ago, my father was never part of my life and he's dead anyway. Namjoon's it. He's my family. We look out for each other. Always." You say.

"He may not be a random civilian to you but to the rest of us-"

"He's the guy that's responsible for saving my life. You did all the action stuff but without him you wouldn't have found me until Jackson made a move and by the looks of it I may have been dead by then." You cut him off.

"Y/n-"

"Look I get it you're worried about your gang but I'm not apologizing for telling him about my involvement with you. It saved my ass."

"Let me talk for a minute. The boys think he'd be a valuable addition to the team. Replace our hacker." Yoongi says.

"I'm sorry you want him to join your gang?" You ask in disbelief.

"You're right, he's responsible for saving your life. Tae and Hoseok said he's a computer genius-"

"Taught me almost everything I know." You say.

"So ask him to be part of the team. Get him to join Bang Tan."

"I'll-see what I can do." You nod.

"Good." He says placing a kiss to the top of your hair.

"Thank you... for saving me." You say looking down at your bowl of half eaten ramen.

"I will always save you. I- love you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died on me." He says looking away from you.

"Yoongi-"

"I know you don't love me. You don't have to remind me." He says cutting you off.

"I don't know you enough to love you, but if you're willing to do things my way. Maybe we could get there." You say shyly.

"You mean that?" He asks hope gleaming in his eyes. You nod and smile at him. He smiles brightly back at you and in that moment you feel something in your chest, a flutter, faint but there. The moment is broken when Tae bursts through the door wiping his hands with a handkerchief.

"Y/n! You're okay. Thank goodness." He says walking over to you. You turn your gaze to him.

"Hi Tae. What's with the blood?" You ask taking another forkful of ramen.

"Ah, our friend Jackson," he says vaguely. He glances over you quickly. "Good. Looks like I covered everywhere." He says with a nod.

"What do you mean?" You ask.

"Jackson's in the basement. We figured it's only fair he suffer the same injuries as you, well I took the liberty of using a hot knife to do the job so it's probably worse but potato potahto." Tae says with an odd amount of cheer. "Would you like to see him before his 'execution' in two days time?" Tae asks.

"Uh... no thanks. I'd rather spend my energy recouping." You say.

"Suit yourself." He shrugs. Namjoon makes his way back into the room then.

"Hoseok took Jin to the hospital. He said there was an emergency with a patient of his."

"Guys, can I talk to Joon alone?" You ask looking and Yoongi and Tae. They nod and leave the room.

"What's up?" Namjoon asks sitting beside your bed.

"Thank you. For everything." You say.

"You don't have to thank me. We're family remember?" He smiles at you.

"Okay I have something to discuss with you, just... hear me out before you lose your shit okay?" You say.

"Sounds ominous." He raises an eyebrow at you.

"Well... Yoongi wants you to join us. Not as a field agent though. He wants you on computers. I guess Tae and Hoseok told him about you being a wiz with them and he's been trying to replace his hacker anyhow." You say.

"Join his gang?" Namjoon asks.

"Yeah. I know it's crazy, I know you hate this stuff, I just thought-"

"I'll do it." He says.

"What?"

"It's easier to keep an eye on you that way, plus I feel like I dragged myself into this mess the moment I showed up here." He shrugs.

"Really?"

"Yeah. If you're here then, this is where I need to be." He says with a smile.

***

A/N: AHHHHHHH ajfvbakdnvaefojslcvjndvmncvj I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

that’ll make sense when the next part comes out. I’ll explain in then

Part 9/???

#bts #BTS suga #min yoongi #mafia au #mafia yoongi #reader x yoongi

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travllingbunny · 5 years

Text

The 100 rewatch: 4x02 Heavy Lies the Crown

The season 4 premiere wasn’t that great, but this is much better and much more typical of the overall quality of season 4.

The Polis storyline is, for a change, actually quite good. I’ve always thought that season 4 did a much better job with most Grounder characters than season 3 or even season 2. And the storyline in and in relation to Arkadia is great, with Bellamy, Clarke and Raven having to do make difficult choices. In particular, Bellamy finds himself in the position to make a really tough choice, and the choice he makes really encapsulates his leadership style and worldview.

The title is another literary reference – after Dante and Poe, now it’s Shakespeare – although it is a misquote of the line “Heavy lies the head that wears the crown” from Shakespeare’s Henry IV. They supposedly chose to name it that way because they thought it sounded better – or maybe they just thought that would make it more obvious to the viewers that the theme of the episode was the difficulty of being a leader.

The flashback that opens the episode would have fit better as the opener of 4x01, which was much more about the fallout of the City of Light and people who died because of ALIE. (No surprise, since it was originally meant to be in 4x01.) It’s the introduction of another interesting new Grounder character, Ilian, whose family suffered a really tragic fate – ALIE made Ilian kill them or torture them in order to force his mother to take the chip. Seeing it all happen helps build sympathy for Ilian and makes it easier to understand his later actions. It’s also one of the few times we see Grounder farmers. I like the fact that the show isn’t focusing just on Grounder warriors anymore and that we get to see more and more of Grounders of different professions and worldviews.

In Polis, the leader who has to make decisions is Roan, who is preparing to meet the challenge of an ambassador of one of the other clans, Rafel, who is trying to use the fact that Roan is still recuperating from his injury and isn’t full strength, Roan is a good character to watch because he’s smart and capable, and morally grey – he isn’t one of the bad guys, but he can be ruthless and sneaky if he has to. The fact that he’s a very different leader from his mother certainly helps. This is emphasized when Echo, who is sparring with him, goes on about how awesome Queen Nia was, in her mind, for being so ruthless and murderous and not giving a damn about anyone other than Azgeda; After being questioned why he decided to accept the Sky people as the 13th clan, Roan finally tells Echo the truth about Praimfaya and that they need Sky people to survive it.

Talking about Roan’s chances in single combat, Octavia says Lexa kicked his ass when he wasn’t wounded, but she doesn’t know that the Nightblood basically gives you superpowers, which is only revealed later during S4

Kane is again the Chancellor – but we don’t learn if another election was held or not. He is mostly acting as a diplomat, however – he’s more of an ambassador, while Clarke pretty much acts like acting Chancellor in Arkadia.

Kane tries to reason with Rafel, and makes the good point that, if they are going to blame Sky people for the City of Light, they should also credit them for destroying it. But don’t expect Rafel to listen to reason. So Octavia eventually solves Roan’s and everyone’s problem by murdering Rafel, which is later portrayed as a heart attack. I should be generally against assassinations and Octavia using violence and murder to solve problems, but, you know what, I liked this solution.

Major development forward for the Kabby relationship: After the kiss last season, there’s a rather steamy, by CW-standards, sex scene and, while there is no “I love you” in so many words, the relationship between Abby and Kane is strongly affirmed. Initially, after their sex scene, we see that Abby used to wear her wedding ring on a necklace. She’s unsure or uncomfortable with putting it on again, as Kane sees it, but Kane tells her Jake is a part of her, But later Kane realizes that she is not wearing it – and they kiss, as Abby has just shown him that she has really moved on from Jake and committed to him.

Abby decides to go back to Arkadia to help Clarke and the rest find a solution for Praimfaya

In Arkadia, Clarke, Raven and Bellamy arguing over what to do; Raven is concerned thatthere are not enough volunteers to repair the ship. She also has insecurities and feel she shouldn’t be main engineer - Sinclair should be, but he is dead, Clarke replies that she’s in a similar position since she’s no Chancellor. However, they’re all basically back to their own season 1 roles, when they were the only ones on the ground and leaders of their people.

One of the most pleasant surprises about season 4 is that it found a purpose for Jaha and started using his character in a much better way, and even managed to make me finally interested and enjoying his character, even though he hasn’t actually changed his personality. This is probably because 1) he is not in position of power now, 2) he wants to and manages to be useful – as an engineer, which is his original profession, and 3) most importantly, he has a number of interesting interactions with the main characters that he didn’t get to interact much before, like Clarke, Bellamy and Raven. In the season when they are faced with particularly difficult leadership choices, which are similar to the situation on the Ark – having to make choices who will live and who will die because it’s impossible to save everyone; having lie to people in order not to cause panic – Jaha is both there to offer his perspective and advice (which may be good or bad), and as a cautionary tale: he is what they all used to hate and what they really don’t want to become, but now they are afraid they may be becoming like him.

The crux of the episode is Bellamy’s mission (with Monty, Harper, Bryan and Miller) to go into the Azgeda territory, to the remains of the Farm Station that Azgeda occupied, and retrieve a hydro generator that would help produce water for the people in Arkadia during the five years of radiation. They start off hoping to get it peacefully, by showing Roan’s seal. They get a hostile reception instead, but eventually the head Azgeda guy agrees to it. However, things change when they learn that the people working at the station are slaves…

…Let’s take a moment to emphasize the fact (for the benefit of all of those who like to portray Sky people/Arkers as the Bad Guys and Grounders as Good Guys, that, in addition to everything else we know Azgeda did under Queen Nia’s rule, like killing Arkers indiscriminately, including children, from the moment they landed, and blowing up a bunch of Arker civilians as a part of a political power play that wasn’t even about them, they also practice slavery, enslaving both Arkers and other Grounders.

…This is a big moment where the group has to decide whether to prioritize getting the hydro generator, or blowing it up to free the slaves. Bryan argues in favor of the latter, especially since he recognized one of the slaves as a friend of his, called Riley. (Now, I know that the fandom likes to make fun of Riley because of the way that this character was made important in spite of never being heard about before, but this is more of a problem in 4x05. I don’t see any problem here – we never saw any of the Farm Station before season 3, either, and we knew very few of the people on the Ark in season 1, and many we knew are dead. And the actor does a good job playing someone who has been traumatized and beaten down by slavery and abuse.) The group split votes – Bryan and Harper for freeing the slaves (Harper compares their fate to her experience of being put in a cage in Mount Weather), Monty and Miller for getting the hydro generator, so Bellamy makes the decision and chooses to free the slaves.

This decision is something I need to talk about a bit more. I love the way season 4 in particular has so many situations where there is no obvious right or wrong choice - neither choice is great and wrong in some way while good in another way, and you can make good arguments for either alternative. This is one such case. Personally, while I understand and respect the position that the hydro generator should have been the priority and slaves ignored, I was happy with Bellamy's decision, was rooting for him to make that choice, and it's what I would probably do. Regardless of how things turn out in the end, I think this is the better principle to live by: "We save who we can save today". (Which also reminds me of the decision Bellamy made in 2x04 – save the person who is in the most immediate danger and need.) There are many leaders in this show, maybe too many, who advocate the Big Picture thinking, which is a legitimate position if moderate, but taken too far, it can lead to (in the name of some hypothetical better future) present oppression, killing the people you're supposed to protect, executions for all sorts of silly reasons as on the Ark, letting innocent people die from enemy bombs, or cold blooded murder of an innocent person for "pragmatic" reasons - as Jaha did in season 2, using the motto "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few". I don't trust anyone who uses that motto to justify killing other people rather than sacrificing themselves (which was how that character we all know and love used it in that well known movie that the quote comes from). And I don't fully trust anyone who does things in the name of an abstract notion of "people" or "my people" while not caring enough about individuals that make up that abstract collective

I liked Bellamy’s decision before I knew how things would turn out, and would like it regardless of the eventual consequences. But as it turns, out, if they had saved the hydro generator, it would have been for nothing, since Ilian will blow up Arkadia in a few episodes. This way, those people who had been slaves a couple of months of nice life back with their families.

Another minor in-character moment: when they are about to take the Grounder ex-slaves to their villages, Bellamy is again taking care of a little girl in the group.

Raven is angry over Bellamy’s decision, and Clarke at first seems to disagree, but eventually accepts it, and Bellamy he sticks to it and takes full responsibility. Clarke finally decides to tell people a half-truth: she tells them about Praimfaya, but claims they will be able to save everyone, even though, without the hydro generator, they can only save 100 people there. Raven gets to display my least favorite character trait of hers, getting all judgmental and b1tchy and sarcastically telling Clarke: “Your father would be so proud!” I dunno, Raven, if you think the people should be told the truth, why don’t you simply tell them? No one is stopping you.

Both Raven and Jasper compared Clarke’s decisions to that of Jaha and the rest of the Ark leadership. Except they forgot the minor detail that she hasn’t executed anyone, imprisoned anyone, or sent anyone to die.

Jasper is now in a very different, but still similar mindset from the one from season 3: he has embraced the “Seize the day” approach, and seems very cheerful, having a shower, singing, asking Monty to bring weed, and telling Clarke he doesn’t want them to survive, he wants them to live. But he is like that only because he knows it will all be over in a few months.

The song Jasper plays is “I Don’t like Mondays” by Boomtown Rats, which includes the line “Silicon chip inside her head”…

This is the last episode where Bryan appears, which is a shame, because he was an interesting character, and his and Miller’s relationship actually got some focus and development, unlike Miller’s mostly off-screen later relationship with Jackson. The actor got a role in another show, but instead of getting killed off, he was just written out quietly – he simply never appears after this episode, and we never learn of his fate. The first time I watched this, I didn’t even realize that the argument between him and Nate at the end of this episode was the end of their relationship, so I was later wondering “so where is Bryan?” when Nate and Jackson became a couple out of the blue. Rewatching this, I can see how this was the end of the relationship. I like the fact that Bryan (who, we have it confirmed now, is now the only survivor, aside from Riley, from the initial number of around 160 people who were on the Farm Station when it fell to Earth) refuses to condemn Pike and still feels loyalty to him – because it would be really unrealistic if everyone now had the same opinion about him. Bryan confirms that he basically never stopped supporting Pike, who he felt loyalty to because he saved his life and they spent several months fighting together, and simply chose his boyfriend over him. But I think the main reason why the relationship broke was not just political differences, but because, after Miller didn’t support or understand Bryan’s decision to prioritize freeing the slaves, Bryan felt that Miller doesn’t understand what he went through with the rest of the Farm Station people in those 4 months and the trauma and effect it had on him.

Timeline: It has been 9 days since the season 3 finale, which means it’s about 8-9 days since 4x01.

Body count:

In the flashback (which is technically in the timeline right at the end of season 3 or the beginning of 4x01), Ilian’s father, brother and mother got killed by ALIE-controlled Ilian. Add them to the list of people who died because of ALIE, We don’t see how the father died, but Ilian killed his brother and almost killed himself, and tortured his mother, and she eventually died of injuries.

Rafel, Trishanakru ambassador, killed by Octavia. (Good riddance- he was really annoying. We’ve seen way too many irritating whiny Grounders who rant about how Sky people are to blame for everything. That’s so last two seasons.)

Several Azgeda slavers got killed in the explosion of the hydro generator.

Tybe the head slaver, beaten to death by the freed slaves. Bryan revealed that he was the one who killed Monty’s father, saying he was therefore Monty’s kill, but Monty chose to do justice in a different way, letting the ex-slaves decide Tybe’s fate.

There are some pointers about the number of surviving people – from a list that Clarke made of the number of people that need to be saved. It’s a partial list: we learn that there are about 500 people Arkadia, 4000 in Polis (out of which 400 children), 300 in Tondc, and we see several smaller places with just a few people. Just counting the numbers we see, we get 4877 Grounders in addition to 500 Arkers (obviously, neither are exact numbers, since the numbers for Polis, Tondc and Arkadia were rounded), but it’s clearly not a full list, as we don’t see the numbers for, e.g. Boat people, Shallow Valley people, and many other villages and towns, so I don’t know if the numbers of Grounders in this part of Northern American territory is around 5000-6000 or more like 10.000.

Rating: 8.5/10

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jadeargents · 5 years

Text

ig live — getting ready with me.

Checking if she was live, Jade smiled towards the camera as she raised her hand for a moment. “Hi everyone. Sorry for not announcing this live beforehand, but I didn’t know I was doing this until like five minutes ago. I’m getting ready to go out and I thought it would be a good idea to talk with you and answer some questions while I’m doing that.” She looked through her make up bag, taking only a moment of searching before she found the foundation. “I’ve already applied the primer, I’m gonna do foundation now. You can go ahead and ask anything you wanna know, as long as it’s not too personal.”

“How are you?” She read, a smile appearing on her features. “That’s nice of you to ask that first. I’m great, honestly. Living my best life. I’m writing a lot of songs, spending time with some of my favorite people, being on tour and singing my music... can’t imagine a better life right now.” Looking in the mirror she began applying the foundation, though she paused immediately after. “Disclaimer, I’m not a make up artist. I don’t know if I’m doing this the right way, I’m just mirroring what I’ve seen my own make up artist do.” Continuing, she didn’t say anything else until she finished the coverage.

“Moving onto concealer now,” she stated as she opened the liquid concealer and applied a few lines under her eyes. She then turned towards her phone to read the next question. “What songs have I been obsessed with lately? Hold on.” Grabbing her computer, she opened her most recent Spotify playlist. “Bloodline by Denise is my fucking jam, she’s incredible. The entire album is great, honestly. Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me by Luana is also a favorite.” Seeing some of Julian’s songs on there, she decided it was time to close the playlist. She had given them enough reasons to believe they’re together without saying one of her favorite songs is a song that was written about her. “There’s a lot of them I like. I can make a playlist if you guys are interested.” She finished dabbing the concealer then moved onto the next question.

“Have I written a song with anyone lately?” Choosing a light pink blush for her next move, she selected the right brush from her set and lightly applied the make up over her cheekbones at the same time as she replied. “I’ve written a song with Ofelia, and another one with Chasity and they’ll both be released eventually, in case you’re wondering.” She didn’t mention the other person she’s been writing songs with, since she knew they wouldn’t let it go for the rest of the live if she did.

“Twitter or Instagram?” An uncomfortable smile appeared on her lips. “You don’t want my answer to that, I’m going to be mean.” Closing her blush, she looked towards the camera. “In all honesty, I prefer actual human interaction. Social media is great for interacting with fans, but it’s not my favorite. That’s why I’ve been distancing myself from Twitter lately. I’ve just found I feel much better when I prioritize spending time with people and limit the time I spend on my phone. If there’s a piece of advice you should take from me, it’s that one.”

Grabbing her highlighter, she looked towards her phone again to read the next question before focusing on the makeup. “Would I accept acting in a film?” Jade shrugged her shoulders. “I'm not sure. Depends if the film meant a lot to me. I would definitely have to take some acting classes before that, but why not?” She stopped applying her highlighter, setting down her brush for a moment. “Though I have to point out I wouldn’t push my singing career aside. Music is the priority, no matter what else is there.” Once she finished with that step, she chose a palette of gold tones and continued with the eyeshadow.

“What do I think about what headlines are saying about me?” She huffed, shaking her head subtly. She was staring in the mirror as she applied her eyeshadow, but that didn’t last long because she couldn’t prevent herself from staring at the camera as she voiced her thoughts. “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. You can quote me on that. I’m living my life and I’m being myself, and if that bothers anyone, it’s not my problem. I’m happy where I am right now and I’m not going to let anything ruin that for me.”

Reading the comments she received after her statement, her hand instinctively went to her chest, showcasing a mix of emotions on her expression. “I’m truly touched by your support, guys.” A smile appeared on her lips as she went back to adding the finishing touches to her eyeshadow. “Though I have to say you’re making me laugh with your reactions to me saying I’m happy. I didn’t think that was possible either, but what do you know? Maybe life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against me after all. Maybe I should’ve just been more patient, but well, I trust that everything happens for a reason. I’m thankful for the state of mind I’m in right now, and that’s all that counts.”

“Where’s Julian? How would I know?” A chuckle left her lips, as she began applying her eyeliner. “I don’t track him. That’s not a healthy…” she stopped, looking straight at the camera with an amused smile, “… friendship.” She continued tracing her eyeliner as if she hadn’t said anything out of common, that made the comments on her phone suddenly increase. She didn’t say anything as she waited for them to calm down, so she could go back to answering questions.

“What’s the last movie I’ve seen?” She stopped for a moment, looking towards the ceiling as she was thinking. A smile appeared on her lips as she remembered. “Funny enough, it was with Julian. We watched “The Nun” at an open air cinema event in London.” Jade read the comments, a disbelieving smile on her lips, then responded to them as she put on mascara. “Bold of you guys to assume I need someone to hold me during horror movies. I’m not afraid of them. Or anything for that matter. I’m pretty much fearless.” Except emotions, but she wouldn’t mention that. She wouldn’t tell them that she did spend that night in Julian’s arms, not because she was afraid, but because she liked being close to him.

Applying red lipstick, she then looked towards her comments. A huff left her lips as her eyes read the question. They were unbelievable. “Am I meeting Julian? Yes, I am,” she said, “I am also meeting Luana and Chasity, that doesn’t change that I’m putting on make up for myself, not for him, or anyone else I’m seeing today.” She sighed, putting her make up bag aside to look straight at the camera. “I think we’ve covered enough the subject that women do not dress or put on make up for men for you to stop insinuating at this point. You can do better.”

“You know, I should have a feminist podcast,” she said, looking through her comments and expecting to see a lot of negativity, yet that wasn’t the case. They were all encouraging and excited which kind of made her feel bad for getting their hopes up. “That was a joke. Sorry, I would, but I literally don’t know how that would fit into my schedule,” she responded, shaking her head softly with an apologetic smile. “Besides, I think I’d get too frustrated with the issues discussed and that’s not an advantage when the purpose is getting educated. You should be taught about feminism from someone who has patience, meanwhile I’m gonna keep ranting about these problems on Instagram and Twitter.” She ended her explanation with a smile, feeling much more calm when explaining herself.

“What’s my favorite shade of lipstick? The one I’m wearing right now, actually.” Inspecting what the label was saying, she then approached the lipstick to the camera. “It’s the Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick, in the shade of Royal Red, called Madamn.”

She removed the accessory that was holding most of her hair back. “What do I have planned for the future career wise?” She smiled as she began styling strands of her hair into waves. “I’m glad you specified what future you mean, because personal life future, I couldn’t have told you.” Realizing what she just said, she closed her eyes for a second, breathing in. She should be more careful with the way she worded things. “Because I don’t know what the future has reserved for me in that aspect, not because there’s a particular event that would happen in the future.” The last thing she needed was people sending videos of her to Julian asking him if he proposed or asking him when they were getting married. “Anyway, back to the question. I can’t tell too much, but I’m preparing for the European leg for All The Stars World Tour as you know. I’m also writing a lot, and I’ve already filmed the first two music videos for the fourth album. I can’t reveal anything about the release date right now, but you know, I’ll keep you posted.”

Once she finished with the hair, she attached it in a way that it wasn’t standing in her face, but still was cascading down her back. “Last question,” she announced as she looked through the comments until she found a good one. “What was my favorite concert I’ve performed during this tour?” There was no hesitation there, a genuine smile appearing on her lips. “New York City.” There was no doubt why. Julian was at her concert that night, and having him backstage when they hadn’t seen each other in more than a month made her feel so happy. However, she needed to divert the fans’ attention from that. “New York is one of my favorite cities, and the energy there is just incredible.” She wasn’t lying, but there were other cities where she performed that were memorable too — New York stood out because of her significant other being there. She smiled as she thought about how in love she was. It wasn’t getting less surreal with time.

“Thanks for keeping me company as I was getting ready. I’ll keep you updated on my outfit later when I’ll post a photo. Hope the rest of your day will be good. Take care.”

#self para.

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hela-avenger · 6 years

Text

No Light

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 2860

Prompt: “I loathe you, with every fiber of my being!”

A/N: This is my contribution for @true-queen-of-mischief writing challenge. Congrats on the 600! Hope you like this!

Hela-Masterlist

It was 4 am and you’re still awake with a mind full of endless thoughts that would not rest. Your heart ached within your chest and you hated the compromising position that you placed yourself in just because you had let yourself believe in something that had never existed.

Your own desires made you blind to the reality and now you were suffering the consequences because of it.

You shove the comforter away from your body and swing your legs to the side of the bed. You run a hand through your hair and let out a tired sigh.

All of this could have been avoided if you just hadn’t listened to her.

All of this would have never happened if you had skipped cleaning duty like you had originally planned.

“You didn’t see it, did you?” Natasha asked you as you stayed behind to clean up after the team breakfast.

You glanced at her confused and continued to pick up the leftover plates.

“See what?”

“The way he looked at you,” Natasha states as she took the plates out of your hands and forced your attention on her. “It was different this time.”

“Nat, what are you going on about?”

“He looked at you,” Natasha repeats as she tried to get her meaning across. “He looked at you like he just realized you were everything he ever wanted… everything he ever needed.”

“Natasha,” you whisper as you realized now what had her so excited. Your heart was ramming against your chest at the possibility of your heart’s desire being true. “Who looked at me like that?”

Natasha smiled widely knowing that her suspicions of your secret crush were finally confirmed.

“Loki.”

You shook your head and knew that sleep would not come tonight. The emptiness of your room only served to remind you of your solitude and you suddenly felt trapped between the four walls. Quickly, you pulled a cardigan over your pajamas and escaped the confinement of your bedroom.

As expected, the halls in the Avengers tower were void of anyone which was relieving. You didn’t want anyone asking why you were up so late in the night. You didn’t know how you would respond without breaking down.

“Ms.Y/N,” FRIDAY calls out as you enter the living area.

“Jesus,” you respond in alarm at the AI. “Way to startle a girl, FRIDAY.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Y/N,” FRIDAY responds as you take a seat on the couch. “Are you in need of something? Would you like me to call on Steve or Tony?”

“Why would I want that?”

“You show signs of distress,” she responds.

“Fuck Stark technology,” you mutter under your breath not realizing that the AI was this perceptive.

“I’m fine FRIDAY,” you respond after a while. “Just can’t sleep due to personal issues. Don’t need Steve or Tony to be dragged into this.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes,” you answer quickly. “I just want to be left alone right now.”

FRIDAY remains quiet after that and you’re once again left alone to your thoughts.

You could feel his eyes on you and it made every nerve in your body flare at the attention. You didn’t dare look up to meet his gaze because the moment that your eyes met his, he would look away. Instead, you let him watch you train with Wanda as your experience with Inhumans made you the most capable when it came to her.

“Is there any chance we can postpone this practice?” Wanda asked a few minutes into the training.

“Why?” you ask genuinely confused.

“Because we have an audience,” Wanda states as she nods towards the direction of Loki and Thor causing a grin to grow on her lips. “And you seem distracted by it.”

You rolled your eyes at this and let out a groan.

“Have you been reading my mind again, Wanda?” you exclaim.

“Can’t help it,” she chuckles. “You think really loudly when it concerns him.”

You could feel your face heat with embarrassment knowing that Wanda now knew about your crush too.

“I don’t know what you see in him that has you so enamored,” she comments.

“Funny,” you respond. “Natasha said about the same thing to me the other day.”

“And?” Wanda prompted you for more information. You shrug at her, not knowing the answer yourself.

Maybe it was curiosity that had started it all. The dark-haired prince with an even darker past claimed to repent for his past evil actions. There was a story there that you wanted to unfold and the more you heard from Thor, the faster you came to understanding the enigma that was Loki.

Loki’s history didn’t pardon him for all the bad things he’s done, but it gave you a new perspective in seeing the world. You could see what had driven Loki to a dark path and had it been you in the situation, you could see yourself doing the same. It made you realize how thin the line between good and evil was and how one can easily succumb to the latter.

“Wow, that’s a lot to take in,” Wanda states out of nowhere.

“Can you stop invading my thoughts!” you exclaim in slight annoyance. “Curiosity killed the cat you know!”

Wanda laughs it off and you smile too. Your eyes then shift towards Loki and you see him instantly turn away.

Yeah, it was your damn curiosity that was killing you at the moment. You should have known better than to let yourself be drawn in by the grand illusions of love. It didn’t help either that Natasha and Wanda were pushing you to do something about it. They were the ones who motivated you to stop daydreaming and to take action.

You ignored them as long as you could and continued as you were. You continued to be nice to Loki and tried to engage him in conversation while everyone else continued to ignore him.

Besides Thor, you were the only one who could see the effort Loki was giving in attempting to redeem himself.

Maybe that’s why you fell for him.

He acted like he didn’t care about what they thought of him, but if you looked closely you could see how he was always the first one in their training sessions and the last one to leave.

You could also see the genuine care he had for his brother. Though they had quarreled immensely in the past, Loki prioritized Thor’s protection over his own.

It was admiring the many layers of Loki’s character that you seemed to unveil after paying close attention. It was no wonder that you fell for him this hard so fast.

“I saw that,” you state with arms crossed and an amused smile on your face as you caught Loki off guard in the pantry.

“Saw what?” Loki asked with indifference.

“I saw you shelving Tony’s favorite cookies in his hiding spot and then restock Thor’s poptarts,” you tell him as you move to stand next to him. “And I bet if I keep searching, I’ll find that you got Steve his favorite cream soda and Clint’s caramel popcorn.”

“Don’t,” Loki states as your eyes start to scan the shelf.

“Don’t what?” you ask him innocently.

He remains silent and your eyes find the box of Girl Scout cookies that was hidden behind the cereal boxes. You quickly reach for it and couldn’t believe your luck to see that it was unopened and new.

“How did you even get these?” you ask in amazement. “It isn’t Girl Scout season for another two months!”

“I have my ways,” Loki comments quietly.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face and the warmth that spread along your body.

“Thank you,” you tell him. “Thanks for thinking of me.”

Loki remained silent and his eyes avoided your own.

“Don’t worry, Loki,” you say in hopes that would engage him into speaking to you. “I’ll keep your secret.”

Loki smiles at you and you swear for a moment there that you see some resemblance of what Natasha had claimed to you once.

It was there for a brief second.

Just a simple second.

You really should have thought before you acted. Maybe it would have saved you from all of this embarrassment. At least the team expected this blowout due to Wanda’s incapability to keep a secret. The moment that you and Loki finally confronted each other had been awaited for, but the results were what threw everyone off.

You wished you hadn’t let Loki become this big part of your life. You should have known better than to fall for a God who was known for lying and manipulating to get the things he wants.

And yet, even though these were the rumors that Loki spread around him, you knew that wasn’t who he really was. That there was more to him. That there was good in him.

Or maybe you were lying to yourself in order to not have your perception of him change.

Maybe you wanted there to be good in him so that the pain you felt in your chest would be relieved by the hope that he might change in the near future.

You let out a sigh and stood up from the couch. You couldn’t let yourself fall into this rabbit hole without knowing what you would find at the end of it.

You make your way towards the large glass windows and watch as the city slowly started to wake. A herd of taxicabs were driving through the streets and few people were walking to work. Truck vendors were setting up around the block as they waited for the morning rush to begin.

The lights in the living room turn on suddenly and draws your attention away from the city below.

“FRIDAY,” you exhale slightly annoyed. “Please turn off the lights. I want to surround myself in darkness as much as I can before the sun comes out and I’m forced to face everyone.”

The lights don’t turn off and the AI remains oddly silent.

“FRIDAY?”

You turn away from the window and freeze as you find Loki standing at the entrance of the living area. He seems shocked as you to find you here as well.

“I didn’t think anyone would be awake at the moment.”

“Yeah,” you respond quietly. “Neither did I.”

The quinjet had just landed in the hangar when all hell decided to break loose. You had made a quick decision without consulting anyone which led for you to get shot on your shoulder. The bullet went through and there had been a lot of bleeding and a lot of pain, but you were fine. You knew a speech was coming, but you had expected it from Steve, not from Loki.

“What you did out there was incredibly reckless and completely idiotic!”

“You were the sniper’s target, Loki!” you shouted as you held a towel to your chest that was staunching the wound.

“Yes, I was!” Loki exclaimed. “You shouldn’t have jumped in front of me when that shot was taken!”

“That would have killed you!” you scream at him. “Asgardian or not, that shot would have killed you. You would have died!”

“I am a God and you are just a mortal woman!” Loki pointed out.

“I don’t care about you being a God and me being human,” you shout at him. “A gun is a gun. A bullet is still a bullet. I saved your life and this is how you say thanks?”

“I did not ask to be saved,” Loki exclaimed. “And if I had to, I would have never asked it of you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I…”

The sentence remains unfinished as Loki silences himself. The anger was still evident as his breaths were short and heavy and his shoulders remained tense.

Everyone waited with anticipation for the overdue confession.

“Just say it, Loki,” you whisper this time hoping that this would be enough for him to let his guard down once and for all. “Say it, please.”

You see a flicker of insecurity flash through his eyes before he takes a deep breath.

“Because…” Loki begins to say before his whole being changed again. His face hardened once more and his eyes became cold as he glared down at you. “Because...I loathe you with every fiber of my being.”

A stunned silence fills the hangar and you let out a surprised chuckle at his answer. Natasha attempts to pull you away from the conversation. She could tell from the pain written on your face that the next move you made would be unpredictable. Trying to avoid any unnecessary assault, Natasha puts a hand on your shoulder and tries to pull you back, but you shove her hand away and instead take a step towards Loki.

“Funny,” you mention to him as unshed tears burned in your eyes. “Because I love you with every fiber of my being.”

You don’t dare to look at Loki’s face and ignore the team’s shocked murmur after this love confession of yours that they had been waiting to hear. You walked out without another word and locked yourself in your room refusing to go to the medical bay. Instead, you blocked everyone’s access to your room and remained there on your own.

The gunshot wound would heal on its own due to your mutation, but you’re heart... no, you’re broken heart was on its own.

You two stared at each other allowing the silence to grow tenser as you waited for the other to make a move. Loki’s the first to break away from the shared gaze and lets out a sigh. He gives a quick wave and the lights dim around the living room. Of course, he used his magic that explained the lack of warning from FRIDAY.

“What are you doing awake?” you ask as you watch him from his side of the room.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he answered. “What about you?”

“I couldn’t sleep either,” you said with a shrug.

Loki watches the movement and his eyes land on your bare shoulder. You quickly pull up your cardigan up, not realizing it had slipped down your shoulder. Loki immediately shifts his focus elsewhere and you let out a sigh of your own.

“How’s your injury?” he asks.

“Healed,” you answered just as curtly. “I just needed to rest a bit before my body restored itself on its own.”

“That’s good to hear,” Loki mumbles as his hands nervously fidgeted against one another. A nervous tick that you had noticed with the time you had spent with him.

“I should go,” you finally state not bearing the suffocating atmosphere in the room. “I wouldn’t want to bother you with my presence.”

You tried to walk around him, but Loki was still stationed at the entrance of the living room. Before you could even take a step out into the hallway, his hand latches on your wrist and tugs you slightly back.

“Don’t go,” Loki pleads silently. “Just don’t…”

Tears started to form in your eyes again and you tried to keep your breathing even.

“Why?” you whisper to him. “Why would I spend time with someone who loathes my entire existence?”

Loki remains quiet and you should have expected it, but once again you hoped that something had changed from this afternoon and you were disappointed that it hadn’t.

“Let me go,” you plead as your voice cracked.

“No.”

“Please,” you whisper to him as the tears began to spill.

Loki watches as the tears continued to stream down your face and he released his hold of your hand in pursuit of holding you instead.

“What are you doing?” you ask as you found yourself in his arms but the only response you got from him was his grip on you tightening. “Please, Loki. Let me go. I can’t…”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers next to your ear. “I am so sorry.”

Loki’s forehead leans against yours and his eyes were closed so tightly as if he was in pain himself.

“You have only loved. The faith you placed in me was based in love, what you placed your trust on was love,” Loki goes on. “And I hurt you because you came to the conclusion before I even could and for that, I am sorry.”

“It still hurts.”

“Then tell me how I can heal you,” Loki pleaded. “Tell me how to fix this.”

“Say it,” you whisper to him as your eyes met his. “Say what you couldn’t say before.”

Loki takes a deep breath and wiped away the stray tears that remained on your lovely face. A broken smile was on his lips but his eyes shone brightly into yours.

He looked at you as if he had just realized that you were all he would ever want in his life, all he would ever need.

“I love you,” he tells you. “I love you with every fiber of my being.”

You let out a sigh of relief and Loki pressed a long kiss on your forehead.

“And I love you with every fiber of mine.”

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