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luxekook · 4 years

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chapter three.

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader (insert gif of elmo with flames behind him here)

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 2.3k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, dirty talk, jimin propositions the reader accidentally, taehyung is a menace, noona kink jumps out A LOT, chaotic ot7, talk of poly relationships, overall kinda smut free (the next chapter should quench fuel your thirst)

Chapter Three

“It means that we’re going to date the shit out of you.”

We’re going to date the shit out of you.

We’re. Going. To. Date. The. Shit. Out. Of. You.

Those words play on a constant loop in my head for the rest of the week. After Namjoon had dropped that bombshell on me, I’d kind of freaked the fuck out, faked an immediate illness, and ran at full speed.

When I had told Luna about it later that night, she had been just as shook as me. Surprisingly enough, she had also given her full support of whatever I decided to do but “would have her banana slicer on standby and would order six more if need be”.

It appears that she had drunk-ordered a banana slicer off Amazon when the last boy she talked to pissed her off. I had apparently drunk-approved the decision. Rad.

Jenni’s reaction had been even better. We’d been in the library on Monday and her screech of “he said what!?” had led to multiple events:

An abundance of shushes from every student within a 50-yard radius

Her continued rant: “Your own personal harem! Can you say goals? Maybe I should infiltrate EXO and collect my own...”

Us getting kicked out by our ancient librarian

For the rest of the week, I had Luna and Jenni both giving me shit about the BTS boys. It had helped that I hadn’t run into them at all on campus between classes. But I had known it wouldn’t be long before my luck would run out...

Quinn Library – 2:31pm

Typically, I don’t spend my Friday afternoons deep within the stacks of the library’s quiet floor. Yet, here I sit typing frantically due to my incapability to stop procrastinating. My fingers fly over the keys of my aging MacBook in hopes that whatever spur of productivity I had going on is captured in its fullest.

General education classes could burn in the pits of hell as far as I'm concerned. If I wanted to be a psychiatrist, why did I have to take – and pay for – an art elective that I would likely never utilize in the workforce? Plus, the only class within the category that fit my schedule ended up being “Writing About Dance”.

Yeah, I’m still a tad bitter, but in all honesty the class isn’t that bad so far. It mainly consists of watching different dance performances and learning how to write about them in different styles.

Today’s assignment is to write critical commentary on videos of the university’s dance team that the professor provided for us. Sighing, I finish my review of the second to last dance video provided by the professor, take a quick second to stretch, and then open the link to the last video on the assignment page.

“Park Jimin – Final Performance Solo, Spring 2019”

Slack-jawed, I fall into wonder as Jimin moves through his routine flawlessly. He dances like it’s easier than walking to him. His movements are somehow precise and fluid all at once. I barely realize a few tears have run down my cheeks until the video cuts off, signaling the end of Jimin’s performance.

Jesus, (y/n), get it together. I laugh lightly as I dig in my backpack for a tissue. How could I possibly capture the ethereal beauty that Jimin exuded into words? Am I even worthy of commenting on such exquisiteness?

Definitely fucking not. And before I can second guess myself, I type: “Park Jimin is art in its purest form. Watching him dance is like watching the sun rise over the ocean – raw beauty accompanied by the hopes brought with a new day. His performance left me wanting for nothing except an encore.”

Boom. Submit Assignment.

As my email pings with the confirmation that my assignment is turned in, my eyes widen in realization. Park Jimin of BTS is a dance god, and he – allegedly – wants to date me? That is just ridiculously unfathomable.

Namjoon must be off his rocker.

Closing my laptop, my phone suddenly vibrates with an incoming notification from snapchat...

President_RM has added you!

Before I can even comprehend the absurdity of Namjoon adding me, my phone bursts into a series of buzzes. Cursing, I switch my phone to silent and check my screen.

minsuga93 has added you!

jhopeworld_ has added you!

handsomeJIN has added you!

JKookie97 has added you!

vantae_BTS has added you!

95jiminie has added you!

Are they serious? How did they even get my SnapChat username?

vantae_BTS has added you to a chat!

Curiosity wins out over aggravation as I swipe to open the chat.

Heart pounding, I fight the urge to chuck my phone into the depths of the bookcases winding around the room. What did those idiots want with me?

(y/n) & Luna’s Apartment – 9:45pm

“What do those idiots want with me?” the decibel my voice has risen to is shocking even to my ears.

Luna cringes, accordingly, “I can’t tell if that’s a rhetorical question...”

I steamroll onwards, “And don’t even get me started on how they could have even gotten my snapchat. It’s a complete invasion of privacy!”

“You could just ask them,” Jenni’s voice cuts through my rambling tirade.

I pause, “No, I couldn’t—”

...Or could I?

Turning on my heel, I rush into my room and head straight for my closet. Grabbing the nearest sweatshirt and pair of leggings, I tug them on and then grab my keys from my nightstand.

Whirling back into the living room, I storm past a dumbfounded Luna and Jenni, “Be right back.”

Opening the apartment door, Luna shouts, “Wait! Where are you going? You’re not even wearing shoes!”

Whoops. I glance at my feet and note that she is, in fact, correct.

Jenni bounds over to me holding my Doc Martens, “Here, babe. You’re going to the BTS house, aren’t you?”

I nod grimly and salute my two best friends as if I'm going into battle. “I won’t be long. I just have a small errand to run.”

“Well, you’re not going alone,” Luna declares, pulling on her sneakers.

Jenni snorts and shoves her feet into her beat-up Converse, “No way am I missing out on this action.”

As we head out the door, I link arms with Luna and Jenni, “Have I mentioned I love you both recently?”

“Right back at you, bitch,” Luna laughs.

Greek Row – 10:17pm

Ten minutes later, we reach Greek Row. Fraternity and sorority houses dot the street on both sides. Personally, I think of this street as home to the chaotic rich, and I tend to avoid it at all costs – except tonight.

The line to get into BTS is so long it wraps around the block. Students dressed in the latest fashions converse as they wait, huddling together in their groups. I glance down at my outfit of a worn university hoodie and leggings.

“Well, shit. We’re underdressed, huh,” Jenni deadpans, causing all three of us to burst into laughter, “Do you think they put you on the list, (y/n)?”

Pondering that thought, I shrug, “Maybe,” and begin marching past the line of waiting students towards the front door of BTS, “But I sure as fuck am not waiting in that line.”

“Hey, there’s a line here!”

“Yo, bitches! What are you doing?”

“What the fuck?”

Paying the hecklers no mind, I saunter right up to the BTS pledges guarding the door, “Hi, I need to talk to Kim Namjoon.”

The pledge on the right rakes his gaze over me incredulously and then makes the same assessment of Luna and Jenni, “You know this is a party, right?”

I don’t deem that comment worthy of a response and instead cross my arms over my chest. He shrinks under the collective glare of me, Luna and Jenni.

The pledge on the left awkwardly clears his throat, “Names, please?”

My answer barely escapes my lips before the pledges visibly straighten, looking at me with new eyes, “You’re (y/n)? Why didn’t you just say so?”

And before I can answer, the front door swings open for us.

People are everywhere. A haze of smoke looms in the air, and rap music blares from the speakers. The bass is turned up so loud that the beat seems to take over the rhythm of my pulse. That cannot be healthy.

Turning to my friends, I do my best to communicate, shouting, “I’m going to find them! Are you going to be here?”

Luna and Jenni exchange a look and nod. Jenni shouts back, “We’re going to get some drinks. Might as well capitalize on free booze! Text us when you’re ready to go.”

And with that, we part ways.

Maneuvering around the sea of gyrating bodies in the main living room area, I scan around for any signs of my seven menaces.

“Do my eyes deceive me? Or is that my future wife?” The deep voice booms from behind me.

I sigh, recognizing the voice, and turn around.

Kim Taehyung is striding towards me with his arms outstretched, smiling like the damned fool he is and looking like he just stepped off the runway for Gucci. “Come to daddy.”

An idea forms. I smile sweetly and walk to meet Taehyung halfway. His boxy grin widens and just as he thinks I'm going to let him wrap his arms around me, I grab him by the ear.

“Ouch!” He cries, “Devil-woman!”

Ignoring him, I drag him behind me towards the stairs.

“If you wanted to get me alone, you could have just asked—OW!”

My hold on his ear tightens as we arrive on the second-floor landing, “Where are your brothers?”

“I don’t know, n-noona!” Somehow the honorific coming from Tae sounds divine, but I file that thought away for another time.

Removing my hold, I corner him against the wall of the hallway, “Okay, Kim, here’s what is going to happen. You’re going to point me in the direction of your room, go find your six idiot brothers, and then report back here so I can finally understand what the fuck is going on. Got it?”

My chest heaves as my directions conclude and I realize how close together we are. Taehyung stares at me with an indecipherable expression before breaking into a slow smile, “Noona is bossy.”

“Noona is going to shove her foot up your ass if you don’t get moving,” I growl.

“Kinky,” he laughs, backing away from me and my brewing anger, “Last door on the left is my room. I’ll be back with the six idiots.”

As he thumps back down the steps, I close my eyes and count to ten, trying to steel my nerves and rein in my anger. When I open them, my eyes are met with the amused gaze of Min Yoongi.

Slapping a hand to my heart, I wait for my pulse to settle from being scared out of my wits, “Motherfuck—how did you even move that silently?”

“It’s a skill,” Yoongi drawls, nodding towards to end of the hall, “So, group meeting in Tae’s room?”

Shooting him the best side-eye I can muster, I stalk past him, steadfastly ignoring the chuckles and light footfalls that follow behind me.

Throwing open the door which Taehyung indicated was to his room, I pause, taking in the horde of photos and art taped to the four walls. The light blue wallpaper barely peeks through the absolute massive amount of artwork.

“It’s overwhelming at first, isn’t it?” An angelic voice shyly breaks through my reverie, “Tae likes to collect pictures and things he finds beautiful.”

“Ah, so that’s why we’re friends.” The joke is followed by a laugh that can only be compared to the sound of a windshield wiper squeakily moving back and forth.

I shift my eyes from Taehyung’s walls and onto the two newcomers – Park Jimin and Kim Seokjin.

Meeting Seokjin’s gaze first, I cannot help but agree that he is a very, very beautiful man. With pushed back dark hair, mischievous brown eyes and impossibly broad shoulders, Seokjin can easily be mistaken for an idol. And, oh fuck, I’m still staring.

Shooting my eyes back up to his, I crinkle my nose at his shit-eating grin. Before he can even comment, I turn and lock eyes with Jimin.

“Your dancing is gorgeous,” I blurt out and immediately want to crawl under a rock and live out the rest of my life as Patrick Star.

Yoongi and Seokjin are cackling as Jimin’s face lights up at my embarrassing compliment, “You really think so?”

“There's no shutting him up now,” Yoongi is in tears, “Watch out, (y/n). Jimin loves his fans.”

“Shut up, Yoongi-hyung!”

Jimin looks ready to swing, but luckily Taehyung chooses the right moment to return, “What have we missed? Why is Jiminie about to fight Yoongi? I’ll put $10 on hyung.”

Gasping in betrayal, Jimin sits on the edge of Tae’s bed and pouts.

The rest of the boys file in behind Taehyung as he flops down onto his bed and reclines like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Hi, (y/n). Good to see you again. I’m glad you’re here,” Namjoon greets me with a slight bow, a crooked smile and wicked eyes.

He’s followed closely by Jung Hoseok, the only BTS boy I hadn’t met thus far, “(y/n)! It’s so nice to meet you in person! Wow, you look so pretty tonight!”

“Noona always looks pretty,” Jungkook cuts in, throwing an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder, “She’s bae.”

A collective groan arises from the rest of the boys. “Sit your ass down, JK,” Yoongi grumbles, “(y/n)’s going to break up with us before we even start dating.”

“Dating—!” I break off that train of thought. Other matters need to be attended to first, “No, I didn’t come here tonight to say ‘hi’ or to be your ‘bae’. I came here to get answers.”

I take my time making eye contact with each boy.

Taehyung is still spread out on his bed and Jimin has now joined him. Seokjin, Hoseok and Jungkook are sprawled out on the floor at the foot of the bed, while Namjoon and Yoongi slouch against the opposite wall of the bedroom facing me.

“Alright,” Namjoon lifts his chin, meeting my stare head on, “What do you want to know?”

a/n: sorry for the cliffhanger, hehe. i wanted to get something up for y’all! hopefully next chapter won’t take too long to finish/edit :)

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skieswords · 3 years

Text

Pull Through Part 3

Please read part 1 first to make sure you check all of the trigger warnings❤️

"I'm freaking out. What are we gonna do?" Luke ran his hands through his hair and dropped into a cracked leather seat backstage. They were sitting in the dressing room at Club Hollywood, a lowkey bar in Downtown LA. By some form of miracle, Sunset Curve had managed to book their first proper gig, with real people watching, who actually wanted to watch. Granted, they were only opening for a slightly more well-known band, but it was a start. However, Bobby had called the club, and told them he wouldn't be able to make it. The boys were losing it, and had no idea what to do. "We can go on without him. It'll be fine, we're totally in sync." Luke stared at Alex and bit his lip. "Dude, you're kidding. It'll mess up the whole set, we need a second guitar." Reggie pouted and pointed to his guitar. "Hey, I'm still here." Luke rested his head in his hands and groaned. "Reg. You play bass." He rolled his eyes with a slight smirk, and started racking his brain. A flash of orange made him think, and he sat up, reaching for Alex's arm. "Come on. Drive me back to yours." Alex looked at him in disbelief. "What's that gonna do? We have another 2 hours before we have to get Becca, we need to practice." Luke pulled Alex to his feet, and looked him straight in the eye. "Trust me." Alex groaned, and looked to Reggie, who shrugged. "Reg, stay here. We'll be back soon." Reggie's face fell, and the boys heard him shouting after them, as Luke legged it down the corridor, closely tailed by Alex.

"Bex?" Becca looked up to her door, and was surprised to see a flustered looking Luke, his face red and hopeful. "Oh, hey Luke. What you doing here?" Luke stepped into her room, and closed the door behind him. Becca looked up at him expectantly, as he wrung his hands at the bottom of her bed. "Bobby dropped out for tonight." Becca's eyes widened, and she jumped off her bed. "What? But tonight's your first real gig!" Luke nodded, and strolled over to the corner of her room. "Anyway, we can't find anyone to fill in for him." Becca frowned as Luke's fingers trailed over the guitar in the corner. "Luke..." He turned to her with pleading eyes, and it took a bit of effort not to concede instantly. "Please, Bex. This means everything to me." He came towards her and grabbed her hands, squeezing them tightly. Becca looked up into his eyes, deep pools of green, with flecks of gold floating in them. She'd do anything for those eyes. "Luke, I can't. I don't play." He dropped her hands and rolled his eyes. "Bullshit. You have to play, I've seen your music! And I've heard you playing in the loft before. Please. I'm begging you." Becca looked over to the guitar in the corner and sighed. "I- Luke I've never played electric." His face lit up, and he grabbed it off the stand. "I'll teach you. We have two hours until we're on, and it's easier than acoustic. You'll pick it up in no time, I promise." His eyes were so hopeful, and he looked so young and innocent, that she couldn't say no. It meant so much to him. Becca looked to the homework on her bed, and sighed. "If I can figure it out, then yes. Maybe." His smile was so wide she thought it must hurt, and he caught her off guard by scooping her up and spinning her around in his arms. "Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Come on, let's go." He grabbed her hand and tried to pull her towards the door, but she stopped, and looked down at herself. "Luke?" He turned back and smiled at her, still tugging gently on her hand. "I can't go in this." She indicated to her sweats and the old hoodie, and he frowned. "True. You can't. Uh, you own anything black?" Becca snorted and headed for her wardrobe. "What kinda stuff do rockstars wear?" She bit back a laugh as Luke did a dramatic spin, holding out the lapels of his jacket. "Right, but I'm not gonna wear that, am I." She waved a hand at his sleeveless shirt, and low-cut jeans. Alex came in then, and groaned when he found Luke sitting on Becca's bed. "Dude, what have I said? You're not allowed in her room alone." Becca sent Alex a disapproving glance, and turned back to her wardrobe. "What should I wear tonight?" Alex moved to stand beside Becca, and reached into the mess of clothes. "You'll be backstage, so black works?" Becca frowned and looked to Luke questioningly, who was gesturing wildly behind Alex's back, drawing a line across his throat and shaking his head. "Uh, okay. Jeans? Or like a skirt? Or shorts... uh." Alex pulled a pair of black denim shorts out, and threw them at her. "There. They'll be fine. Luke?" He held open the door to Becca's bedroom, and raised his eyebrows. Luke sniffed and smirked, biting his lip and glancing at Alex as he walked out the door. Becca laughed as she heard Alex smack him in the hall, and pulled out the rest of her clothes. "That's my baby sister dude! No perving!" Luke laughed in response, and Becca imagined his goofy little grin, his hands shoved in his pockets, or fiddling with the chains on his jeans.

Luke snuck back into Becca's room a few minutes later, knocking to make sure she was decent. "I'm gonna dump this in the car- woah." Becca turned round to look at him with a nervous smile. "Do I look okay?" Luke gulped and blinked a few times. "Uh, yeh. You look great." Becca looked down at her outfit and bit her lip. Black cutoffs, and fishnet tights, paired with her black chuck taylors, and a Sunset Curve t-shirt knotted at the front. After looking her up and down slowly, nodding in approval, Luke frowned a little and looked down at his own jeans. He put the guitar on the bed, before detaching one of the chains hanging from his belt loop and reaching towards her. "Here, this'll top it off." Becca's eyes grew as she watched Luke kneel down, and felt his hand on her waist, clipping the chains onto her shorts. "Great. Uh, meet you downstairs in 5?" Becca blinked and nodded, taking a step away from him and rubbing her neck awkwardly. Luke snapped his fingers at her and pulled the door shut behind him, leaving Becca to continue staring at herself in the mirror, tugging her shorts down every now and again. After throwing a black and grey checked flannel over her shoulders, she jumped down the stairs, and bumped into Alex coming out of the bathroom. "You look ace, proper little groupie we've got." He grabbed her hand and spun her around, before dragging her out to the car, where Luke was already sitting, music blaring from the windows. "Cmon, we've got things to do!" Alex rolled his eyes at Luke's overexcited-puppy behaviour, and pulled back his seat to let Becca climb in. "Let's get this show on the road!" Luke turned and winked at Becca, leaving her to laugh at his antics, and watch out the window, one knee pulled up to her chest, chewing her lip anxiously.

Becca was pacing back and forth, wringing her hands desperately. They had an hour until they were expected on stage, and Luke still hadn't gotten a chance to come help her with the guitar part. In all honesty, she'd lied to Luke about never having played electric before, hoping to deter him from asking her. Obviously this hadn't worked, but she was pretty sure he wouldn't complain about it once they were on stage. "Hey, there you are. Ready to do this?" Becca turned to face Luke, her face almost grey. "I don't know why I said I could do this. I can't play on a stage! With all those people watching..." Luke stepped towards her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look up at him. At 5'3, even Luke was tall to her, and her worried eyes met his, seeking comfort in the familiar emerald orbs. He pushed her gently towards the guitars in the corner, and swung the strap over his shoulder. He plugged in the amp, and strummed the strings quickly, tuning them with expert fingers. Satisfied, he shortened the strap a little, and held it out for her to step under. "It's a little heavier than what you're used to, but you won't notice it in a moment." Becca adjusted the strap again herself and frowned as her neck strained with the weight, before swinging her hair out from under the strap. Luke turned back to her, his own guitar hanging round his neck, and smiled at her reassuringly. "Okay, it's mainly A and D in the first verse. A first, then D, then A..." Luke continued to show her the chords for the set, smiling proudly every time she got it right, and resting his hand over her fingers every time she got it wrong, adjusting her fingers ever so lightly. It was sweet, watching his surprised expressions when she managed the more difficult combinations, and she felt a strange feeling in her stomach, as the time ticked by. "Okay so there's this one part, where Bobby and I usually play back and forth, kinda like call and response? But I can just play that whole section if you want?" Becca smirked and rolled her eyes. She knew the section well, and after years of listening to the boys play, she was pretty sure she had it engraved in her brain. "I'll give it a go. I think I know what bit you're on about." Luke pulled his guitar over his head and stepped behind her, putting his hands over hers. Becca's eyes widened and she gulped, mentally slapping her forehead and forcing her brain to cooperate. "So put your left hand on the 7th fret... yeah right there, A shape... perfect. 4th, 2nd, 6th, 3rd..." Becca lost focus as her head turned slightly to her left, and she found Luke's face, furrowed with concentration. She felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips, watching him bite his lip as his calloused fingers curved softly over her own. He noticed she wasn't playing, and turned to face her, his eyes meeting bright blue. A playful grin appeared on his face, and Becca felt a blush creeping up her chest. "Yo, Luke, we're on soon, you read- Bex?" Luke coughed and took a step back from Becca, grinning at Alex, who's eyes were wide and mildly disapproving. Becca rolled her eyes at Luke's expression, and swung the guitar over her head, resting it next to Luke's. "I've got this, Alex. Promise." Alex's face was wrought with worry and surprise, but after registering Luke and Becca's hopeful faces, he groaned, and walked away. "I'm gonna kill you Lucas." Luke grinned at Alex's retreating form, and the middle finger held high above his blonde hair, before turning to Becca. She stood with her arms across her chest, bottom lip in between her teeth as she chewed frantically. "Hey, Bex. You're okay." Luke reached a hand out and grabbed her hand, forcing her to let go of her lip so she could smile up at him. "You got this."

The wings were stuffy, men dressed all in black running across the stage now and again. Alex's drums sat pride of place on a platform towards the back, and the boys' and Becca's mics were arranged around at the front. She'd spoken to Luke, and convinced him she couldn't sing. It took a lot of convincing, but they stopped when Reggie had realised Becca was playing for them, pulling his surrogate little sister into his arms and hugging her tightly. "I always said we'd make a rockstar of you." Becca smiled as she thought about it, laughing to herself. Her, a rockstar? I don't think so. She'd leave that to Alex. A hand between her shoulder blades told her it was time to go, and Becca looked up at Alex. He looked nervous, but excited at the same time, if that was even possible. She imagined he felt similar to her, with butterflies going mental in her stomach, and weird shivers creeping up her spine every 2 minutes. They stepped into the blinding lights of the stage together, Alex's hand only leaving her back when they reached her mic. Luke nodded towards their guitar stands, and Becca followed him over. "Breathe. You'll be great." His hand brushed hers, and she smiled, taking the guitar he offered her. "Let's do this." With one final smirk, Luke turned to the crowd, hardly visible through the smoke off the lights, and started waving, smiling like a madman. Becca rolled her eyes, and swung the guitar strap over her head. With one final breath, she turned to face the crowd also, finding herself grinning in anticipation. She looked around the boys, and found her heart clenching desperately, as she registered the looks of unadulterated bliss on their faces. Alex was rubbing his drumsticks together, his eyes sparkling in the lights, as he tossed his hair off his forehead. Reggie was waving into the crowd excitedly, jumping up and down on his toes lightly. Luke was knelt down towards the front, grabbing the hands of some high school girls they knew. Becca frowned at this, and turned her attention back to her guitar. "Hey everyone! We've got a special guest tonight, our drummer's little sister, Bex!" The audience clapped and cheered, and Becca felt her chest tighten. "We're Sunset Curve-" Reggie jumped in. "Tell your friends!" The lights in the audience came down, and as Reggie struck the first chord, Becca felt like the world was moving in slow motion. Her own fingers started sliding up and down the fretboard, and she felt a jolt of energy flow through her as she picked the first string. Alex came in, and her heart rate picked up. This was it. And then suddenly, a rush of adrenaline sped through her, setting her skin on fire, as Luke began to sing. He was jumping up and down, his left leg kicking out to the side every other chord. Becca stopped thinking, and tossed her hair behind her as the chorus started, trying everything in her power not to join in. Alex was going mental behind her, his hands flying around the drum kit so fast she could hardly make out the pale beige of his sticks. Reggie was having the time of his life, head thrown back in excitement. Luke was the one to watch though. He was like a man possessed, his eyes on fire as his hands flew around his guitar expertly, occasionally jumping off to grab the mic, and letting Becca take over the main melody line. Her cheeks were aching, and it was too much work not to sing. As the second chorus kicked in, she let go, and stepped up to her mic properly.

Don't look down 'Cause we're still rising Up right now

Luke turned in surprise as a fourth voice joined in, but his face lit up when he realised the voice carrying throughout the club was hers, and he grinned at her. She rolled her eyes, and continued, reaching a hand up when she got the chance to run her fingers through her curls, grabbing her mic and pulling it closer to her.

And even if we hit the ground We'll still fly Keep dreaming like we'll live forever But live it like it's now or never

The bridge was coming up, and Luke cast a glance over his shoulder, trying to make a decision in the next few seconds. Becca was radiant, her eyes glowing with a fire he'd only ever felt, never seen. He gulped as her hand ran through her curls, coming back to rest on the mic in front of her. She was incredible, and his eyes drifted to where her hands now rested on the fretboard of his old Fender, chipped black nail polish against the red of her fingertips, bruising from the pressure. Something clicked, and he silently apologised to Alex, before catching Becca's eye, and nodding at her, asking her to join him. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help herself, and moved towards him.

We ain't searching for tomorrow (tomorrow) 'Cause we got all we need today (today)

Becca met Luke at his mic, just as she joined Reggie on the top harmony, her voice ringing in Luke's ears. If he hadn't been so caught up in the moment, he would have been speechless. They were nearly touching, and Becca could feel Luke's hot breath on her face as they shared the mic. Their eyes never left each others, and Becca could feel Alex's glare burning the backs of their heads. Luke's hair fell forward onto his forehead, the tips damp with sweat. In that moment, with the fire in his eyes, his arms bulging, and voice raspy as ever, Becca had never found him more attractive.

Living on a feeling that's been running through our veins We're the revolution that's been singing in the rain

Becca turned to look at Reggie, who was looking at Luke with an amused expression. As they got ready to launch into the last chorus, Becca decided it really was now or never, and jumped onto the platform Alex was on, shooting him a smile as he sang and clapped his hands, head shaking ever so slightly towards her. She winked and started up the final chords, eyes closed in pure ecstasy, high on the energy of the music. She could feel eyes on her, and had a feeling Luke's were included in that. Indeed, when she opened her eyes, green met blue, and she almost felt the need to cover up. Luke's eyes burned through her, and she couldn't take her eyes off him, or the look on his face. He was in absolute awe of her, and the light that radiated from her when she played. He knew what it was, because she looked how he felt. Overcome with the music, she'd let herself go completely, her heart beating with the drums, her blood flowing with the melody, her only source of oxygen the words of the song. His only question was why she'd never joined them before. She was breathtaking on stage, and after a confirmatory glance at the audience, he knew it wasn't just because of his childhood crush. Of the many stares from the audience, a lot of them were on her, everyone wondering who this electrified beauty was. As the final chord rang out, from Luke's guitar, there was a millisecond of silence, in which Becca jumped off Alex's mini stage, and made her way back to her mic, hands resting on top of her guitar gently. The applause was deafening, and Becca dropped her eyes to her shoes, shuffling her feet side to side. That was until someone grabbed her hand, and she looked up, to find Luke beaming down at her. He dragged her off stage, and she found herself laughing hysterically, unable to contain herself. Luke lifted the guitar off her shoulders and leant it against the wall, before turning back to her and pulling her into a hug. "You were so awesome! I fucking knew you could do it, I knew it! You rocked that, they loved you!" Becca squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder, not caring about the layer of sweat making his skin glitter in the soft light. "Dude, get off her." Luke dropped Becca to the floor gently and turned around sheepishly, face falling when he spotted Alex. His smile quickly returned, when he noticed the look of pride on Alex's face, and he watched as Becca sprinted towards him, jumping into his arms as he spun her round. "Who would've thought, my baby sister, a rockstar? You were incredible, I had no idea you could do that?" Becca giggled as Alex set her back down, still jumping up and down on her tiptoes with excitement. Reggie came running through a moment later, sweat running down his forehead. "Sorry, went off the wrong side. Bex? What the heck?" He held out his arms, and she gave him a tight hug, laughing at the look of pure astonishment on his face. She stood between Alex and Reggie, Alex's arm resting over her shoulders comfortably. They jostled her between them as they made their way back to the dressing room, Luke walking behind them with his hands shoved in his pockets, a triumphant grin resting on his face. "I wish I'd placed bets, I would've made so much cash!" Becca rolled her eyes and slid her jacket off her shoulders, dropping onto the couch. "I don't think I've ever sweat this much. You could've warned me, I'd have brought a spare shirt." Alex grabbed his bag from down beside the couch, and reached into it, tossing her a sunset curve shirt. "Thanks. How many of these things do you have?" Becca stood up and grabbed the hem of her shirt, dragging it over her stomach. Alex yelled and jumped in front of her, pulling it back down. "Uh, not here." Becca looked to Reggie, who was kneeling on the floor, sorting out piles of t-shirts, and to Luke, who was conveniently facing the door. "It's fine, Alex." He groaned and turned round, trying to block her from view with his body. A soft chuckle came from the direction Luke faced, and Becca smirked, pulling the fresh top on gratefully. "Cool, so what do we do now? Is that us done for the night?" Luke spun round, walking towards his own bag, and knelt down. "Pretty much, yeh. I'll just drop you home and then go to Reggie's to help the boys get everything sorted." Luke snorted from his spot on the floor, and dragged his shirt over his head, using it to wipe his face before throwing it at Reggie. Becca's eyes raked over his body, taking in his chest, those abs... Alex noticed, and kicked Luke, who hadn't let Becca's gaze go unnoticed, and smirked. "My eyes are up here, Bex." Becca rolled her eyes and took a step towards the window, leaning on the ledge and sighing as the chilled air hit her back. "I was just trying to figure out where you find the time to go to the gym, you know, between band rehearsals and all the school work you do." Luke smirked again, tugging his fresh top over his head. This one had sleeves, she noticed regretfully. "Gym isn't the only way to work out Bex." He winked at her, and dodged away from Alex's fist, falling onto the sofa laughing. "No sex jokes in front of my baby sister!" Alex fell on top of him and started pummeling Luke's chest playfully, leaving Becca to process what Luke had just said. Reggie appeared at her side, leaning his elbow on her shoulder. "Ignore him. He's in the studio so much, I've walked in on him almost a million times hanging from the rafters." Becca looked up at him in feigned confusion, but the rush of relief in her stomach was undeniable. "Don't worry, I won't say anything." He walked away with a knowing smirk, picking up an armful of t-shirts from the floor. "Guys, come on." Alex rolled off of Luke, and swung his bag over his shoulder, following Reggie out the door. Luke did the same, but he winked at Becca as he left, reaching his hand out towards her. "Now for the afterparty."

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briyourmotherdown · 4 years

Text

Give It All For You, Part 1 (Brian May x Fem!reader)

Word Count: 10.45k

Warnings: Strong language (I’m British, it’s to be expected), slight innuendos???, possible historical inaccuracy, ANGST.

Description: You have loved Brian May since the first time you met him. Trouble is, he’s nearly impossible to tie down, and you’ve become cemented in the role of the best friend.

A/N: Okay so I’ve been working on this little mini-series for months. Literally too long. It’s still not even done, BUT I wanted to get the first part out at leAST. Uni and life have made finding creative inspiration a major struggle as of late. I think there will probably be around 3 parts to this?? I’m not quite sure yet, it could be a couple more if I find the motivation. BUT ANYWAY I really hope you enjoy it even though it’s angsty and I can’t write ajdgsdbskjbkdhgs.

Spring, 1977

“C’mon,” you slur, your red dress shimmering in the dim lights of the local pub, “dance with me.”

The bass is heavy in your chest and you feel alcohol coursing through your veins, but you’re only intoxicated by the man in front of you. His eyes glimmer like stars, hooded, sizing you up before shaking his head with a laugh.

“You’re drunk.”

“So are you.” you push yourself further into him in an attempt to push him onto the dancefloor, but more of a reason for you to get closer to him, to feel him.

“But you’re plastered.”

You roll your eyes, “Isn’t that the whole point?”

He rolls his eyes right back, wrapping his arm around your waist to steady you, “Fine, one dance.”

His hazel eyes are hooded, focussed solely on you, and you bask in his gaze. His hands on your body send electric shocks over your skin, and you tell yourself over and over that he doesn’t feel the same; he is only your good friend. That’s all you will ever be to him.

“Is that how you ask a lady to dance?” you tease, cocking a brow.

“You asked me!” Brian laughs, amused, “Alright, m’lady, may I have this dance?”

He holds his hand out to you, dipping his head like a gentleman, and you take a moment to take a mental snapshot before accepting his hand, tugging him into the centre of the pub to dance.

So you both danced, and for that night, just for that night with his hands on your hips, you could almost pretend that he was yours. And as he stared into your eyes, you let yourself fall into that false sense of security of imagined love.

But let’s start from the beginning, from the moment you met on a cold winter’s night in 1972...

“Christ, it’s cold as a witch’s tit in here,”

Your best friend, Freddie, shivers as he hops up and down to warm himself up, scarf wrapped tightly around his neck and jaw,

“Why did you want to open up the stall today, of all days? Even that old git Brutus has closed up shop.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, shuffling the secondhand clothes on their hangers, “I need the money, that’s why. I’m about to be homeless if I can’t pay my rent.”

Freddie hums, kicking a stray pebble on the floor, “You know, my friend has a spare room in his flat he’s trying to fill. He needs some extra money too. I’m sure he’d offer you the room for cheap.”

“Which friend?”

“His name is Brian, Brian May.”

“Ah,” you wave your hand in recognition, remembering his name being brought up a few times, “the guitarist one, yeah?”

“That’d be the one! I think you’d like him, actually-”

“Like who?” your other friend and coworker, this one much more blonde, chimes in as he strides into the small stall, very much late. Roger.

“Brian.” Freddie answers.

“Oh yeah, she’d definitely like him.”

You shoot them both a look, “And what makes you say that?”

Roger holds up a fringed kimono up to himself in the mirror, “He’s quiet, reads a lot, likes the stars; basically a total nerd. You’d love him.”

“And he always wears matching socks. It’s bizarre, he literally has a thing about matching socks.” Freddie adds.

You chuckle, “And when will I get to meet this nerd?”

“Well, tonight. We have a gig.”

“Hm,” you pretend to think, “I’ll have to clear a few things from my schedule…”

Roger nudges you with his shoulder, knocking you slightly off balance,

“Alright, alright! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Later that evening you meet your friends at the pub where they're playing for the night. It’s a dingy dive that you never would usually go, but you’d do anything to support your friends on their journey to success.

You’re dressed up all pretty in your flares and platforms, leaning up against the bar as you wait for Queen’s set to begin. Though the weather outside is freezing, the inside of a pub is always hot, air thick with the scent of ale and sweat, but the moment Queen steps on stage, it’s easy to forget your surroundings. You’d heard Freddie sing, and you’d certainly heard Roger crash about on his drums, but you’d never seen them like this.

They were magnetic. You were all absorbed. Freddie’s outfit caught the light each time he flounced across the stage, but his voice was what captured everyones attention. He was full of passion and power; he owned the audience, he could control everyone with one simple snap of his fingers.

Roger was his usual self, exuding sex-appeal and confidence. Girls fawned over his long blonde locks and plushy lips. The thing about Roger was that he was the total package of beauty and intelligence, that is if you could tie him down.

You’d never met the bassist, John, you think his name was, but he managed to capture your attention in the most unsuspecting way. He was all shyness and modesty, but not radiating an ounce of hesitancy. You can tell, even at first glance, that he would be the perfect fit for Queen. He would bring balance.

That leaves one final member, the oh-so nerdy space loving boy who Freddie and Roger believe you would adore. But he doesn’t look so nerdy when you see him. He’s pure mystery, almost as though he’s surrounded by a navy blue mist, an aura- or something ethereal. He’s breathtaking, is all you can think. Long legs adorned in velvet, dark curls fall in front of his eyes as he looks down at his guitar. He’s focussed, bottom lip jutting out in concentration, but he takes a moment to glance up. That’s when you know you’re done for. He scans the pub, small enough to make out everyone’s face, and his eyes land on yours. It’s fleeting, but you can swear they linger. Maybe that’s just what you want to tell yourself. Suddenly you want to feel his eyes on you all the time. You want to be in his daydreams, in his thoughts, you want to be his muse.

You float through the rest of their set, eyes glued to Brian as he plays expertly. You sway to each song, ignoring your surroundings and focussing solely on the music, and when it’s over, you cheer as loudly as you can.

“I want to have your children, Roger!” you scream, bursting into a fit of giggles as the blonde scans over the room to see the source of the scream, and upon seeing you, chucks up his middle finger with a laugh.

You make your way to the small stage, well, it’s more of a two feet high platform, and open your arms up widely to Freddie.

“You,” you tackle him into a hug, “were fucking incredible! You’ve been hiding this side of yourself from me for how long?”

He blushes, returning to the Freddie you know, “You must have brought it out of me, love,” he turns to the rest of the band, “Y/N, this is John Deacon, isn’t he lovely?”

Freddie gestures to the bassist as he smiles shyly, offering you a wave and a small, “Hello.”

“You were amazing out there, seriously!” you compliment him, and he blushes, though his smile widens.

“Now, darling, this is Brian May!”

Upon hearing his name, Brian looks up from where he is putting away his guitar, standing up straight and brushing his hands off against his trousers.

“Brian, this is Y/N, she hangs around Roger and I sometimes.” Freddie shoots you a playful wink as you roll your eyes.

“Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” you reach a hand out to shake, which you so usually wouldn’t do, and it sends embarrassment right through you. But to your luck, he takes his hand in yours with no hesitation.

“Likewise,” he smiles, still shaking your hand, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Oh God.

“All good things I hope?” you realise you’re still holding his hand and let go, letting your hand sit awkwardly at your side.

Jesus, you’re so nervous.

“Mostly.” He winks, and it sends you reeling. His eyes are dangerous, and they travel up and down your figure in a way that sets you alight.

It goes quiet as you stare at each other, Freddie glancing between you two with his eyebrows raised. Though he says nothing about it. Instead, he claps his hands,

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I need a drink!”

1977

The next morning, you suffer through your pounding headache, wanting to just wallow in your loneliness.

Of course, Brian went home with someone else last night, sneaking away through the back door to avoid flashing cameras and prying eyes, leaving you to call yourself a taxi back home, where you cried for an hour before passing out.

It’s not the first time he’s done this, but it still makes you feel pathetic every time.

There’s a knock on your door, and you heave yourself out of bed despite the spinning in your head and the nausea churning in your stomach. Whoever is at the door will just have to deal with your dishevelled appearance.

“Y/N? Jesus, you look like hell.”

Alas, the infamous Roger Taylor stands on your doorstep, mouth agape at your messy hair and leftover smudged makeup.

“I’ll slam this fucking door in your face, Taylor.”

“Hostile,” he laughs, hands up in mock surrender, “I’ve just come to pick you up for lunch, or have you forgotten?”

Feeling like a total ass, you smack your hand to your forehead, “Shit, Rog, I’m so sorry. Come in.”

He follows you into your flat, eyes scanning over the slight mess. He turns to you, concerned; you’re not usually one to let your flat get so messy.

“We don’t have to go, Y/N, we can reschedule, it’s not a problem.”

You scrunch up your face, searching the kitchen for a glass of water and ibuprofen,

“No, no, I want to go, you’ll just have to bear with me.”

“Long night?” He teases, leaning his elbows on the kitchen counter to stare at you.

Shooting him a glare, you slide passed him and into your bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. Roger follows you, leaning against the doorframe.

“You know, I think you owe me an explanation as to why you forgot about our lunch date, and threatened me.”

Clicking your tongue, you turn to him, “I went to a pub with Brian last night, got plastered, now I’m hungover. Simple as that.”

He raises his eyebrows, almost knowingly, but doesn’t say anything.

“No need to be so sassy with me, I'm only asking.”

You sigh, “I know, I’m sorry,” he smiles, “now get out, I have to piss.”

You slam the door and hear him laugh from the other side, “What a lady!”

“Bugger off!”

Finally feeling human again after cleaning up and getting dressed, you slide a massive pair of dark sunglasses on the bridge of your nose and head out to where Roger parked his car.

“Ready, princess?”

You shoot him a sickly sweet smile, “You act as if being called princess bothers me.”

Roger laughs, starting the engine and getting into gear, “You got me there.”

The drive to your local favourite cafe is short, a totally walkable distance if you didn’t feel like death warmed up. The two of you sit in a comfortable silence until pulling into a parking space, when Roger turns to look at you once again. Your head is pressed against the window, eyes closed beneath your sunglasses, lips slightly parted as you take careful breaths to avoid nausea.

“Christ, love, you really do look like shit,” he chuckles softly, a hint of concern laced in his insult, “Are you sure you’re alright?”

With one look at him, tears well up in your eyes against your will, threatening to spill over onto your cheeks. Roger’s eyes widen, and in an instant, you’re pulled into his arms over the console as you begin to cry. He shushes you softly, one hand running up and down your back,

“Shh, it’s alright. It’s going to be alright,” you’re thankful for having such a good friend like Roger, especially when he puts up with your hungover mood swings. However, you must look like an absolute trainwreck with your puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, “Let’s go inside and get some food and a cup of tea down you, yeah? Then if you like, you can tell me what’s troubling you.”

You nod, sniffling and wiping away your tears on the back of your hand. Roger jumps out of the car and rushes to the passenger side, where like an angel, he walks you into the cafe with a hand on your back.

You attract a few disparaging stares when you both sit down at a table, a small chuckle slipping past your lips. Roger, now across from you, looks puzzled, “What’re you laughing about, hey?”

“Everyone’s staring.”

He scans the room indiscreetly, a smile taking over his features, “God, they are, aren’t they? Haven’t they ever seen a hungover girl crying before?”

You scoff, “Bugger off, they’re obviously staring at your trainers.”

He gasps, looking underneath the table to examine his sparkly pink converse, “What have you got against my trainers?”

“Me? Nothing. But a bunch of elederly ladies out for lunch might. I’m sure they think your hair is a disgrace too. You should cut your hair like McCartney had it at the start of The Beatles.”

Roger scoffs, pulling out a cigarette, “Yeah right. Been there, done that.”

As Roger lights up a smoke, you look at the menu set out in front of you, deciding on something that won’t aggravate your fragile stomach. Then you proceed to give Roger puppy dog eyes until you persuade him to be the one to go up and order it.

When he’s gone, you take a moment to think over what you and Roger must really look like to some people. Roger, all bleach blonde hair, brightly coloured clothing and a smirk that could make even a nun go mad. And you, puffy eyed, sunglasses indoors, in an oversized button-up shirt that you’d definitely stolen from one of the boys at some point. You both probably were the most exciting things that some of these people had seen in awhile. Something new to gossip about.

A glass of water is set in front of you by the one and only roger, while he sips tenderly at a cup of sweet coffee, “Drink.” he commands.

“But I ordered coffee,” you pout like a child, “You’re kicking me when I’m down here, Rog.”

He rolls his eyes, “Coffee doesn’t help hangovers, love. Drink up.”

You frown but nonetheless begin sipping in silence, tapping your nails against the table as Roger stares at you, “What?”

“Just wondering if you’re going to tell me what got you so upset earlier?”

You let out a sigh, long and weary, fiddling with an opened sugar packet, “Would you believe me if I said that it was just hormones?”

“Not in the slightest.”

You let out a short laugh through your nose, “I just let myself get heartbroken again, that’s all.”

Roger pretends to choke on his coffee, spluttering dramatically and ignoring all the stares that he attracted, “Someone managed to break Y/N’s cold, dead, heart?”

“If you were quiet for a moment you’d notice I’m not laughing.” You roll your eyes at him.

Noticing your demeanour, he quiets down and leans in close to you, “I’m sorry, it’s just that you never let yourself get to the point of being able to be heartbroken,” he puts out his cigarette in the ashtray, “you know, you told me about a year ago that love doesn’t exist, and dating is just a trial period until you decide that maybe you can put up with that person for the rest of your life.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You did, word for word.”

You stay silent, but your top lip twitches into a smile- it does sound like something you’d say.

“Anyway,” Roger continues, “who broke your heart? I’ll rough 'em up a bit.”

“Surely you couldn’t rough up a member of your own band.” You speak under your breath, arms crossed, but Roger hears you.

“I knew it!” He shouts, and you kick him underneath the table, “sorry,” he blushes, “I just knew it. I had a feeling you were in love with Brian.”

Your eyes widen, “I’m not in love with him!”

Roger smirks, “So it is Brian, then?”

Your jaw drops at his trick, “You bloody asshole.”

He sits back in his chair with a smug grin on his face, coffee cup in hand, “So, tell me about it.”

You scoff, “You’re such a dick sometimes, you know that?”

“You love me all the same.”

You roll your eyes for the thousandth time, as you always seem to do around Roger. You stare at him, arms crossed in silent defiance and attempt to communicate with your eyes ‘I’m not going to tell you because you were a dick.’

He sighs, uncrossing his arms to place his elbows on the table, “Come on, I’m sorry! Please tell me what happened?”

A server comes over with your breakfast, allowing you to torture Roger for a few moments more as you chew a bite slowly. After you swallow, you finally sigh, “Fine. Ask me what you want to know.”

Roger’s eyes light up, “How long have you loved-” he stops when you gives him the eye, “liked, him?”

“Almost five years.”

“Bloody hell, Y/N.”

“I know! I know. It’s not good. Trust me I’ve tried to get over it.”

“And you’ve never told him how you feel?”

You scoff, “Of course not, that’s suicide.”

“Why?”

You put down your fork, finishing your mouthful of food, “You act like you haven’t seen the way Brian is,”

Roger stays silent, waiting for you to continue, “He’s so…elusive. His shyness and sensitivity make him a real fucking magnet if you haven’t noticed. And he has this thing where he needs to constantly be pining after someone, and it’s just never been me.”

You take a deep breath as your eyes focus on the rim of your glass, “He’s just not interested in me as more than his best friend, and I think that’s okay.”

“Why do you think that’s okay?” Roger asks softly.

“Because if I don’t accept that, then I won’t have Brian in my life at all. And that’s worse than the heartache.”

Roger is silent, looking at you with sad eyes, but they don’t hold an ounce of pity. That’s something you love about him, he never pities you for feeling any sort of way, he’s just there to listen.

“Well fuck, I can see why you got plastered last night.”

You laugh, thankful for him shifting the mood to something more lighthearted.

After lunch, Roger drops you off back at your flat, but not without a comforting pat on the top of your head and a promise to go for a drink soon.

You smile to yourself as you fish your key out from your bag, twisting the lock and stepping inside.

“Y/N.”

You squeal, whipping around to see a lean figure standing up from your sofa, “Bloody fuck- Brian, what are you doing here?”

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest, partly from being scared half to death, partly because Brian looks so good in a hoodie. He doesn’t often wear cosy clothes anymore since Queen gained more fame. Seeing him looking all soft in a navy blue hoodie makes your heart flutter. It reminds you of the times when you had first met. The both of you snuggled up underneath layers of blankets in his dingy flat when the heating broke (which was often), drinking copious amounts of tea and emptying his kitchen of all his food.

“You gave me a key.” He scratches the back of his neck. Yeah, he knows he’s guilty.

“I would have appreciated it if you’d rung me first.”

Annoyance settles in as you remember last night, when he ditched you at the pub and left you to get a taxi home. If anything, he owes you the fare.

“I did, you didn’t pick up and I got worried.”

“I was out.”

“I can see that now.”

The room falls silent, Brian rocking back and forth on his heels. You cross your arms, waiting for him to speak. To explain himself.

“Listen, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have left you like that last night. I was drunk-”

“So was I.”

“I’m-” he stops, sighing, “I’m really, really sorry. I’m a total prick…” he fades off as if he’s lost in thought, bottom lip pulled between his teeth and eyes worried. He looks genuinely troubled, as if he is really upset that he ended up ditching you.

Against your better judgment, you sigh and uncross your arms, voice softening up, “Look, just don’t do it again, okay? It puts me in a really bad spot.”

His eyes brighten at your acceptance, rushing over to give you a hug. You stand stiff as a board when his arms wrap around you, head nestled against your neck. Your pulse races, but you know better than to view this in any other way than just a friendly hug. You wrap your arms around him anyway, closing your eyes and just for a moment, pretending it is otherwise.

“I want to make it up to you,” his voice is muffled against your shoulder, but he doesn’t dare let go, “I packed us a picnic, let’s go to the park. You can feed the ducks.”

You pause, eyes opening and closing as you take breaths. You battle against yourself. Could you manage doing such an activity with Brian? One that feels like a date? Of course you can. Don’t be silly. He’s your best friend, how could you be casting his feelings to the side because of your own?

“Can I feed the pigeons too?”

He laughs, gripping your frame tighter, “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Then you’re back in his car, a newer one, different from the cheap beat up one he had when you had first met. But still, it’s familiar, the scent of him mixed with leather. A basket and a blanket sits in his backseat, bringing a small smile to your face. This is the side of Brian you cherish the most. The side of him that cares so deeply for his friends. You’re not even sure if you could call it a ‘side’ of him. It’s just the way he is. He doesn’t ever intend to hurt or upset you. Suddenly, you feel guilty for being upset with him. He doesn’t owe you anything, he has every right to go home with other women.

“So, where did you go earlier?” Brian asks, one hand on the wheel as he glances over at you and then back at the road.

“I went out for lunch with Roger,” you smile at his side profile, the way his hair moves against the breeze through his open window, the way his nose hooks ever so slightly, “he nursed my hangover.”

Brian’s lips seem to flick into a frown, but shift back into a smile before you could really register it, “Seems as though I’ve been replaced.”

You roll your eyes, “No one nurses my hangovers as well as you do, Bri, don’t worry.”

You giggle fondly at the memories of the both of you nursing each other through your hangovers, Brian always better at dealing with them than you were. He’d be up bright and early, pop two ibuprofen, down a cup of coffee and be well on his way to recovery. Whereas you’d sleep until noon and be unbelievably moody until eventually someone forced you to do something with your day.

Brain somehow always knew how to pull you out of those moods, though, whether it be bringing you a plate of pancakes and cracking stupid jokes until eventually you had no choice but to laugh, or by sitting with you in silence and pushing a glass of water and painkillers in your direction. He just always seemed to know exactly what you needed in the moment.

“I’d hope not,” he tuts, “otherwise I’d have to find another hobby, and I quite like taking care of you.”

Your breath catches, skin burning, but you play it off with a scoff, “You make me sound like a child.”

He laughs, a bellowing laugh that you always love to hear, “A child? Certainly not. Children swear a hell of a lot less.”

“Fuck off!” you swat his shoulder lightly but can’t help your grin. It feels good to fall back into the rhythm of normalcy with Brian.

The sun is high when you reach the park, the sky a bright blue except for a few sparse clouds. The two of you walk silently to the pond, laying out the blanket on a soft patch of grass.

“I know you already ate,” Brian says as he sits down on the blanket, “but I bought a packet of custard creams because I know you like them.”

The small gesture makes you embarrassingly happy, grinning at him as he passes you the packet, “You can never be too full for biscuits, you know that.”

“Very true,” he smiles at you almost in adoration, you think, “I also got a bag of bird seed because people still feed the ducks bloody bread.”

You hum as you bite into a custard cream, staring into space as you get lost in thought. Spring weather in London is one of your favourites, when the sun shines just enough to warm your skin, but you still have to cosy up a bit. And today, it’s the perfect temperature for a picnic.

“Hey, so I was thinking,” Brian begins, opening up a sandwich for himself and taking a bite, “Since the band doesn’t have to start recording again for a bit, we should all go on a road trip somewhere.”

You look over at him, eyebrows raised, “Where were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “Wales maybe? I just thought a change of scenery might help us all write new songs.”

Nodding your head slowly, your lips twitch up into a smile, “I’d love that. Have you mentioned it to the boys yet?”

“Briefly, and they seemed to like the idea, but no plans have been made.”

You hum, “Well, let’s set the date and they’ll just have to clear their schedules.”

Brian laughs, “Alright, next thursday. We can stay until Monday.”

“Perfect.”

The two of you chat for a while longer, before packing up the basket and walking alongside the pond, throwing bird seed for the ducks and laughing as they all fight for the same pieces.

It feels so idyllic, walking through the park with Brian. It seems to be all couples here today, holding hands or staring at each other with looks of adoration on their faces. It almost makes you feel queasy. Perhaps it’s just eating those custard creams right after eating lunch with Roger. Either way, your stomach twists and leaps with too many indescribable feelings. You wish it would stop.

Brian tips the last bits of bird food out of it’s bag, before scrunching it up and putting it in his pocket. You both watch as the birds eat the remaining seed, before looking up at you for more. Once they realise there’s nothing else for them, they drift gracefully away, to the opposite side of the pond where someone else may feed them some more.

Then you continue your stroll, enjoying the feeling of the sun on your faces and the crisp air in your lungs.

But then Brian looks down at his watch, swearing underneath his breath and turning to face you, “Y/N, I’m so sorry but I’m going to have to cut this short.”

Your eyebrows furrow into a frown, “Is everything alright?”

You both begin to walk in the direction of his car, “Everything’s fine, I just forgot I have to meet someone in an hour.”

Your stomach drops. Brian never usually says ‘someone’. His friends are your friends and you’d always refer to them by name. ‘Someone’ means someone you’ve never met, and almost always it means a girl.

“Oh, okay,” you try to hide the disappointment in your voice, “that’s totally fine!” you force a wide smile.

He grins back at you as you both get into his car, “I’ll make it up to you, love.”

You return his smile, but deep down you know. He said that earlier, too.

Soon you’re back at your flat, waving goodbye to Brian from your doorstep and letting your smile drop into a frown as he drives away.

The clock reads 4 o’clock when you reach your bedroom, sighing deeply as you get changed into comfier clothes and slump down on your sofa with a cup of tea.

God, it’s so tiring.

The sun is still high outside, your favourite aspect of spring and summertime, the longer days, but tonight you almost wish it was late so that you could fall asleep and not have to think about Brian.

But alas, he swirls around your brain as you stir your tea, looking down into the cup as it whirlpools. You wonder if Brian could be seeing the girl he went home with last night, or someone else. You don’t want to wonder, you’re not even sure if you actually want to know who it is. It would push you into the deep darkness of insecurity, and you’d compare every aspect of yourself to whomever it is.

So instead, you flick the telly on and melt mindlessly into the arms of whatever is on, not even really focussing on it.

Monday morning, you’re at work again, typing up documents all day as you’d usually be doing. The monotony could kill you, and your fingers hurt from the stiff keys of the typewriter. It’s times like these where you feel envious of your best friends’ profession- for the boys of Queen, monotony is never an issue. They can complain about recording studios all they want, but they would never dare to wish for your job, and they know that.

You asked your boss early if you could get Thursday to Monday off, and by some sheer miracle he had agreed, but not without massaging your shoulders in a way that made your skin crawl. It was one of the biggest downsides about working in an office amongst mostly men. While they spent their days barely working, and instead drinking the day away together while playing mini golf in their offices, you worked until your fingers went numb and the back of your neck felt like it was being jabbed with fifty needles. Yet they still believed they were entitled to touching you whenever they liked.

Either way, you had managed to get a few days off to go on a road trip with all of your best friends, and that’s what keeps you going throughout the week. You daydream about exploring castle ruins and walking along the beach with Brian, allowing yourself to dip your toes into the idea of a relationship. While you were confined within four blank office walls, the thought of Brian kept you sane.

He phoned you two days after your picnic, confirming that the boys had all agreed to a road trip and booked a hotel for Thursday afternoon. Things were all going smoothly, even as you packed your bag on Wednesday evening in preparation to set off early the next morning. You float happily around your flat, humming along to your records and planning out outfits for the trip. When you fall into bed that night, you can barely wait for dawn to break.

But as they always say, be careful what you wish for. Because when you step out onto your front steps on Thursday morning, bags in hand and a grin like the sun, you notice not one, but two cars. Brian’s and John’s. Your smile falters, you thought you were all squeezing into Brian’s car?

“Y/N!” Freddie exclaims when he sees you, rushing to help with your bags and put them in the boot of Brian’s car, “God, I’ve missed you, darling!”

You pull him into a tight embrace, “I’ve missed you too. You don’t have time for me anymore with all your wild parties.”

He scoffs, “If only you’d attend them, lovie, then we’d see each other more!”

You roll your eyes playfully and look around at the two cars. The driver’s seat of Brian’s car opens, a small but almost seemingly nervous smile on his face.

“Hey, Y/N,” he scratches the back of his neck, “how are you?”

You narrow your eyes, and you feel Freddie’s body language stiffen beside you as if he knows something you don’t.

“I’m alright?” You reply as a question, curious to why everyone seems so nervous.

“Good, good,” he nods, inhaling before saying, “You wouldn’t mind sitting in the back seat, would you? Natasha already took the passenger side.”

Your lips part slightly, realisation setting in. He brought a girl.

You turn to Freddie in silent shock, asking with your eyes what the hell is happening? He leans over to whisper quietly, “I offered to take your place and you sit with Rog and John, but Brian was adamant.”

You gulp, turning back to where Brian stands, “Sure, that’s fine.”

He grins, sitting back in the driver’s seat. You turn to Freddie, eyes like a deer in headlights. A five hour drive. With Brian and his possibly girlfriend. He pats your shoulder, giving you another hug before getting into John’s car.

You have no choice but to slip into the backseat, sighing into the leather. The radio is already on, all the windows down to let in the cool early morning air. You glance to the front of the car where a woman sits in the passenger side. You can see her face in the wing mirror, insecurity eating away at you already as you examine her. She’s gorgeous, with thick auburn curls that frame a sharply defined face. You can even see that her eyes are a taunting shade of emerald green.

Clearing your throat. You lean forward and hold your hand out, forcing a smile on your face, “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

She turns to glance at you, but not before giving you a once over, sharp lips not so much as twitching into a smile. She takes your hand into a weak handshake, shaking once before letting go and letting her hand rest back into her lap.

“Natasha.” She says bluntly. You glance over to Brian as he drives, waiting for him to react in some sort of way at the way you’ve been greeted, but instead you’re met with his usual kind smile and eyes that gleam with blissful ignorance.

You sniff awkwardly, leaning back into your seat and getting comfortable against the window. You can see Natasha staring at you in the wing mirror, but you try your best to ignore it. It practically sears your skin, making you squirm in your seat. You hated feeling intimidated by people, absolutely despised it, but Natasha was everything you weren’t. She had Brian. And the passenger seat.

The radio fades into one of your favourite songs, one of Brian’s too, The Air That I Breathe by The Hollies. You’d often drive with the windows down, belting out the lyrics and laughing at who could sing the loudest. The memory brings a smile to your face.

“I love this song, can you turn it up-”

“God, I hate this song,” Natasha interrupts, “I didn’t even like it when it came out three years ago.”

Brian looks torn, eyes flickering to you in the rearview mirror. You challenge his gaze, narrowing your eyes ever so slightly to gauge his next move. Your stomach sinks as he drops your gaze in guilt, flicking to the next station.

The smug look on Natasha’s face just adds salt to your wound, her eyes like a snake’s, sly and dangerous. In that moment you decide that your best friend must be an absolute idiot. You also decide that you really, really don’t like Natasha.

Five hours does not go by in a flash, much to your dismay, and you’ve had to listen to Brian gush over Natasha for the majority of the ride. Even when you all stopped halfway to get snacks, Brian came to your side when Natasha went to the bathroom, nudging your shoulder with a dopey smile on his face.

“Isn’t she something?” He asks as you pull a few bags of crisps off of a shelf. You try your best to bite your tongue. After all, as long as Brian is happy, you’re happy.

“She’s definitely something.” You reciprocate his smile, albeit forced.

“I think you and her will be great friends.”

You refrain from rolling your eyes. Even if you wanted that, Natasha made it very clear that she did not want anything of the sort. How could Brian be so unaware of the dynamic that took place between you and her? Are men really that thick? You can barely believe it. For someone as intelligent as Brian, he’s being incredibly dense.

But regardless, you nod, “Totally.”

Natasha steps out of the bathroom and makes her way over to where the two of you stand, completely ignoring your presence, “Let’s go to the car.”

She grabs Brian’s arm, and before you can so much as complain, the food Brian had grabbed is dropped in your arms, leaving you alone to pay. Your eyes follow them as they leave, hand in hand as they laugh. They look good together, you can admit that. Two perfect people.

You sigh, turning to glance around the small petrol station shop, shaking your head to yourself and going to pay for yours and Brian’s snacks.

And then the remaining two hours or so blur by as you lean yourself against the window, blocking out the sound of Brian and Natasha’s conversations and simply watching the world pass you by. You try to think of the green grass, the blue morning sky, the yellow sunflower fields that you pass.

Brian’s hand rests on her thigh and he looks at her with something like a sparkle in his eyes. Suddenly you wish you stayed home. Maybe if you’d caught a cold or your boss didn’t give you time off this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel like your heart is being torn out of your chest. Maybe then you could have ignored the fact that Brian has got a new woman in his life.

Once you pull into the hotel car park behind the rest of Queen, you nearly jump out of the car, immediately taking your bags out of Brian’s car, “What’s the room situation?” you ask Roger when he steps out of John’s car.

“Don’t get too excited,” Roger winks playfully, “Nah, we have our own rooms, apart from them.” he nods towards Brian.

You lean in to give him a pathetic hug, leaning heavily on his shoulder as you quietly groan, “I don’t even have the energy to tell you to fuck off right now.”

He laughs, gripping your shoulders tightly, “You look like you need a drink. Or a nap.”

“Or both.” you retort.

Brian and Natasha walk up to where you stand, Natasha plastering a fake smile on her face as she greets Roger, “Roger, I didn’t realise that Y/N was your latest fling, how sweet.”

Roger tenses, as do you. Now she’s insulted both of you in one. But just as you’re about to speak your mind, Roger tightly wraps his arms around your shoulder, “Actually, Y/N’s my girl.”

You glance up at him in shock, lips parted and eyes wide. You turn back to Natasha, noticing that Brian is staring at you with a look of shock on his face, maybe betrayal? You’re not sure, but he looks angry. His fist clenches at his side absentmindedly.

And that makes you angry. Even if you were actually dating Roger, what does that have to do with him? So you decide to put a wide smile on your face, lifting your arms to hold Roger’s around your shoulders. You don’t speak, but your actions say it all. You giggle, melting into his embrace. It feels strange, but Roger and you are close enough to know that this is fine.

Freddie and John walk over, looks of confusion on their faces, but decide to stay out of it when they see the looks on Natasha and Brian’s faces.

“You’re seeing each other?” Brian asks incredulously, ignoring Natasha’s presence beside him.

“That’s right,” Roger replies before you can, “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes,” Natasha laughs, “It is.”

Roger’s grip tightens around you. You recognise this side of him, the fierce protectiveness he feels over his friends. Roger has been known to get into fights if someone speaks badly about his friends. He simply won’t tolerate it.

His actions are strictly platonic, but he’s not going to let someone speak badly of you. Especially not Natasha, now that he knows about the way you feel about Brian.

“And why is that?” He grits his teeth, and you squeeze his arm gently to communicate that it’s okay. You don’t need his protection, you can manage.

“Well,” Natasha begins, and you glance at Brian’s expression. He stares directly at you, gaze unfaltering. He isn’t even hearing what is being said, “You usually tend to go for much more...visually appealing women.”

Ouch.

You’re not gonna lie, that hit you right in the ego. It’s not as if you had much confidence before anyway.

That’s when Brian breaks his stare to look at Natasha, a dumbfounded look on his face, “What-”

But Roger interrupts, anger prevalent in his tone, “I don’t think you’re one to gauge who’s visually appealing and who isn’t, Natalie.”

You hold back a giggle, albeit a hurt one, trying to hide your pain behind an unbothered smile. But you fear that your body betrays you as you tilt your head down, hands dropping from Roger’s arm to cross over your stomach.

Natasha opens her mouth to speak, but Freddie intercepts, “Alright! Okay, we should go find what rooms we are in and freshen up. I need a beauty nap.”

You’re thankful for Fred, giving him a discreet nod to which he responds with a wink. You take one last look at your supposed best friend, Brian, not a trace of sympathy for him on your face. How could he not defend his best friend of years from his girlfriend he’s probably only known for a couple weeks at most?

Baffled and dejected, your feet move mindlessly along with Roger as he steers the both of you into the hotel, muttering underneath his breath, “Dick.”

“Who?” you whisper.

“Brian.”

You say nothing. You know it’s true, but it hurts a hell of a lot when your own best friend doesn’t stick up for you.

Roger follows you into your hotel room when you reach it, watching as you flop into the soft white sheets with a long, weary sigh.

Roger sits at the end of your bed, “Natasha’s a right pain in the arse.”

You sit up, hair mussed and eyes tired, “I meant to ask, have you met her before?”

He nods with a wince, “Unfortunately. She’s like that all the time. It’s baffling that Brian hasn’t noticed it yet. The lad’s usually quite level-headed.”

You nod with a hum, staring out of the window behind him. You get most in thought momentarily, thinking about the way Brian was so truly oblivious to the way Natasha acted. He’s almost gotten into bust ups with men at bars who have disrespected you, but it seems to be okay when Natasha does it. Maybe love really is blind. The idea of them in love makes your guts churn.

“Anyway,” Roger starts, standing up, “You should take a nap. I’ll come to wake you up in a couple hours for dinner, alright?”

You smile, “Thanks, Rog. For everything.”

He shoots you a cheeky wink, “Anytime, love.”

So you gladly lay down in the cool white sheets once Roger is out the door, staring up at the ceiling until eventually you let your eyelids flutter closed.

Two hours later, you’re up, bathed, and dressed, fiddling with the hem of your midnight blue dress in the mirror.

Insecurity eats away at you each time your eyes scrutinise yet another perceived flaw. As much as you hate to admit it, Natasha’s words echo around in your mind. She’s right, you're not visually appealing. How could you be, when Brian won’t even look twice at you as more than a friend.

A knock sounds at your door, Roger’s voice coming soon after, “Are you ready, love?”

You snap out of your trance, pushing all the self-hatred aside to open the door. Plastering a wide smile on your face, you take his arm in yours.

He raises a brow.

“I’m not the one who told everyone we were dating,” you lightly pat his arm, “so hold tight, loverboy.”

You meet the group outside by the cars once again, John leaning up against the side of his car and Freddie perched gracefully on the bonnet. Brian and Natasha however, are nowhere to be seen. You frown and ask Freddie where they are.

“Not a clue, my dear. If they aren’t down in five minutes I’m leaving without them.”

As if on queue, the couple in question walk out of the revolving doors. Brian’s face is flushed, Natasha’s smug. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why they’re late.

You catch eyes with Brian and watch, hurt, as he looks away bashfully. Your chest pangs, just a bit, as you glance down at your dress for distraction.

Roger squeezes your arm comfortingly, “Do you want to ride with us?”

You shake your head, “Would it be bad if I said I wanted to keep an eye on them?”

He smiles, “Cheeky.”

You force a tight smile.

In all honesty, you aren’t quite sure if you’ll be fine, but when you take another look at Natasha’s smirk, you let your anger be the driving force that pushes you into the back seat of Brian’s car.

Luckily, they seem to behave themselves while you’re in the car. Well, Brian does. Natasha often tries to place her hand on his thigh, but he always pushes it off. You notice that something has changed since the drive earlier, a shift in Brian’s mood. He’s more bashful than ever, staying practically silent with his cheeks seemingly tinged pink permanently.

Eventually, Natasha gives up with a huff, crossing her arms and looking out the window as the radio hums a tune none of you are paying attention to. Brian is looking straight at the road, and you’re watching him as he clenches and unclenches his jaw. The sun is just beginning to set beside him, silhouetting his face like an eclipse. He’s so beautiful, even when you’re annoyed with him, and even when he looks annoyed himself.

He pulls into the car park, killing the engine and turning around to face you in his seat. You furrow your eyebrows as he stares, “What-”

“Nat, could you give us a minute?”

“But-”

“I’ll meet you in the restaurant.”

She stares at him baffled, looking at you and back to him, before rolling her eyes and getting out of the car. She slams the door and beelines to the entrance, leaving the rest of the boys no choice but to follow her. Roger shoots you a concerned look through the window, to which you return a reassuring smile. It does nothing to reassure yourself, though, as Brian’s fiery gaze is pointed directly at you.

The car remains silent as both of you challenge each other to see who will speak first. You stand your ground and hold his glare, crossing your arms in defiance. He speaks up,

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Rog were together?”

Your eyebrows shoot up, so that’s what this is about?

“Why do you care?”

He scoffs, turning away from you to look out of the window, “I don’t know, maybe because you’re my best friend and he’s my bandmate?”

“Why does that matter?” You challenge.

He just shakes his head with a spiteful chuckle, dodging the question, “Roger doesn’t date.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s just going to leave you for another woman, or worse, he’ll just do it behind your back.”

“And I suppose you’re any better?”

Your words are harsh, and you regret them the minute they came out. Especially when he turns to look at you with a flash of hurt in his eyes. Brian’s had his own share of infidelity, but he’s always felt guilty over it, as if it haunts him. You suddenly feel sick. He confided in you and you’ve just thrown it back at him.

Without another word, he opens his door and steps out, slamming the door behind him. You watch as his figure retreats into the restaurant, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. Shit.

You take a shaky breath, closing your eyes momentarily. You stand on trembling legs and make your own way into the venue, fingernails digging into your palms.

Everyone is already sitting at the table when you join them, so you take your place in between Roger and John. Both of them look equally concerned, Roger’s eyes flickering to Brian across the table. You dare to glance up to where he’s glaring, fiddling with the tablecloth. His upper lip twitches like it always does when he’s angry, a tick that only you’ve ever noticed about him. His warm hazel eyes seem cold, but you can almost see the flames behind them. He’s pissed. More than pissed.

Roger unwittingly adds fire to the flame when he leans down to whisper in your ear, “Everything alright, love?”

You look at Brian once more, his napkin now clenched in his fist, you turn to Roger to whisper, “I think he’s mad.”

Roger chuckles, “You think? The bloke looks like he wants to castrate me.”

“I think he probably does.” You sigh.

Thankfully, always the life-saver, Freddie begins reenacting a run in he had with a fan in a public toilet the other day, and everyone begins loosening up. Well, except for Brian. He’s pretty much silent throughout dinner. Even when Natasha tries to pat his arm or whisper something in his ear, he keeps the same disgruntled look upon his face. You find yourself becoming angrier with every passing moment.

Who does Brian think he is? How can he let his girlfriend walk all over you, then he insults you, and then he somehow has the right to be angry with you?

It’s bullshit, and you shoot daggers at him over your dessert. You don’t even want it. It’s your favourite and everything.

You turn to John, ever the organised one, “Hey, do you know what we’re doing tomorrow?”

He tilts his chin up and chews on one side of his mouth as he thinks, “I think we planned to visit Conwy Castle.”

You nod, humming, “Cool.”

It’s only the first night, and the trip still has five more days, but you find yourself anxious to return home. Especially in the dim lights of a small Italian restaurant as Brian stares at you with that unforgiving gaze, you wish to be anywhere but.

Brian and Natasha left before everyone else, skipping their coffee and choosing to head back to the hotel. They didn’t so much as question how you’d be getting back. Instead, they left you with the remaining three Queen boys, all of their curious eyes on you.

They want answers, you can see it on their faces. It’s the first moment all of you have had together without Brian and Natasha there and they want to know what the bloody hell is going on.

You shake your head at their silence, taking one final bite of your dessert, “Don’t ask me anything, because I don’t have a fucking clue.”

You huff as you flop back onto the bed. It’s far past sunset, and your hotel room is dim except for the orange glow of the street lights outside your window. Roger, John and Freddie decided to go find some sort of bar to finish the evening, but you asked them to drop you off at the hotel so that you could sleep. Except you couldn’t, your mind wired with so many thoughts of Brian that you couldn’t so much as close your eyes. You decided that staring up at the ceiling wasn’t helping, instead it was making the thoughts worse, so you got out of bed and walked to the balcony and stared out over the sea, letting the cold air of the night nip at your bare skin.

Just as you close your eyes, there’s a knock at the door, echoing through the sound of the waves in the distance. The tiny clock at the side of your bed reads just past midnight as you pad through the dark to get to the door.

You open it a crack, “Who is it?” you ask gently.

“Brian.”

Your pulse jumps slightly as you open the door the rest of the way and take in his appearance. His eyes are tired and sunken, his hair mussed as if he’d been tugging on it. You wonder if it was him who tugged on it, or someone else, but based on the way his head is bowed, you don’t think anything of the sort happened.

“Hi,” you gulp, treading lightly, ashamed of the words you threw at him earlier this evening, yet anger still fizzles within you softly.

“Hi,” he breathes, hand rubbing the back of his neck, “did I wake you?”

“No,” you shake your head, “couldn’t sleep.”

“Neither.”

“Is Natasha awake?”

He pauses, looking at the floor and then back at you, “She’s asleep.”

You nod, quiet after his response. What now?

“Do you...want to come in?”

You step aside after he nods, quietly walking through the doorway and into the dimness of your room, and then out onto the balcony. You follow, mind racing a million miles a minute, watching his back as he leans against the railing.

You join him, staring out at the starry reflection of the moon against the sea, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

He turns to look at you, though you don’t return his glance. Instead you bask in his gaze upon your face as the wind flutters through your hair and the moon glitters against your skin.

“It is,” he whispers, his own hair rustled by the wind as he continues to stare at you.

Neither of you speak for a while, just watching the water as it shimmers like diamonds, though you’re both aware of the words unsaid and the words that were. But for a few moments the two of you decided to ignore the rift between you, and instead let the soft silver gleam of the moon heal your aching hearts.

But things must not go unsaid for too long or they will fester, and you’re the first to speak, “Why’d you come see me, Bri?”

He sighs, looking down at his hands, “I came to say sorry. I shouldn’t have said that stuff about Rog, he’s a good guy.”

You stare at him for awhile, “He is a good guy,”

Brian’s eyebrows seem to fall, which causes your own to furrow. You continue, “but did you mean what you said?”

He looks into your eyes and you know instantly that he did. The only reason he’s come to apologise is because he upset you.

“I did.”

Though it angers you, you admire his honesty. You can’t be so frank with him, you’d end up spilling your feelings.

“Is it so unbelievable that someone like Roger would like someone like me?”

It feels odd talking about Rog as if he’s actually your boyfriend, but you’re hurt. Natasha’s earlier words cut like a knife, and hearing Brian think the same would cut like no other.

“That’s not what I meant at all. You’re just…” he trails off and looks back at the sea, shaking his head.

“I’m what?”

“You’re...perfect. You’re too good for someone who will hurt you”

The sound of the wind fills your silence, a sense of confusion and joy fluttering in your stomach. You wish you could tell him that you appreciate his concern, but he’s been the one hurting you all this time. However it’s not his fault, and you remain quiet. He called you perfect.

You search his face for any sign of anything, any twitch of his brow that might give anything away, but he’s stoic as always.

“But you can’t be the one to make that decision for me.” you breathe, choosing to ignore what he said. Perhaps you’re scared of him taking it back, or claiming it was nothing. You want to hold onto the very feelings you feel now, after Brian has called you perfect underneath the moonlight.

“I know.” he sighs, looking down at his hands. You’ve always loved his hands, his long slender fingers that are often adorned with a couple silver rings, usually on his pinky finger. You’d often imagined the way they might feel against your bare skin, but each time you dared to delve into that idea, you quickly shut it down.

The fact that you’ve been lying to Brian about Roger makes you feel wretched, eating away at your insides as you chew on your bottom lip. It feels as though you’re seeing a bit more of Brian’s private thoughts, and he’s only shared them with you because he thinks you’re dating Roger.

The confession is right there on the tip of your tongue, a loud exclamation of truth ready to erupt from inside of you, “Brian-”

“-Y/N” he begins at the same time, and immediately all courage is lost. The boiling truth returns to a simmer, and your racing heart begins to still.

You both chuckle, a sense of normalcy returning for the first time tonight as he scratches the back of his neck, “You first.”

Shaking your head, you give him a small smile, “Not important, you go.”

He nods, taking a breath as if to build his courage back up, turning his body to face you entirely. You do the same, concerned at the sudden seriousness that’s returned to his face. You watch in silence as he takes yet another deep breath, the dread inside of you intensifying.

“I…” he begins, and you want to grab him by the shoulder and shake, tell him to spit it out already because you feel nauseated.

“It’s terrible of me to say this, and I know I have no right whatsoever to do so, but...I don’t want you to date Roger.”

You’re taken aback by his blatant request, baffled at why he is so against the idea of you and Roger being together, “Why not?”

He looks just as irritated as you, all civility that you’d built up just moments before knocked down like a house of cards. It’s as if the idea of you not listening to his request infuriates him, and in return that makes you equally angry.

“I told you before.”

“But we agreed that this isn’t your decision.”

At this point, you aren’t sure why you’re continuing to act as if Roger is your boyfriend. Perhaps you’ve let it go too far and to confess now would damage your dignity. Or maybe you want to see how far Brian is willing to go with his request. Surely he won’t force the two of you apart.

“It’s not my decision, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable?!” you raise your voice. This conversation is going in the complete wrong direction, but you can’t seem to stop it, or stop yourself. The two of you are both passionate people always speaking for what they believe in, and in this case you are on opposing sides. Like fire and ice, or darkness and light, the two of you battle against each other.

“Yes! Uncomfortable!”

“Go on then, explain to me why it makes you so uncomfortable.”

“He’s my bandmate-”

“And why does that matter?”

“You’ll be a distraction!”

“I’ve known you all for years, and suddenly now that I’m dating one of you, I’m a distraction? Nice, Brian.”

He goes to speak, but you interrupt, “And what about Natasha, huh? Is she not a distraction? Or is it just me then?”

“She doesn’t come to the studio with us like you do.”

“You were the one who told me that you love when I come to the studio.”

He looks flustered, “I do, but-”

“You’re not making any sense,” you say, exasperated, “what is the big deal about me dating Roger?”

He doesn’t answer, instead staring at you with a burning intensity behind his caramel irises. A siren blares in the distance and a cloud sheathes the moon in a grey cast. It’s as if his answer is in his eyes, but you just can’t catch it. You’re both speaking two different languages.

“I should go,” he says finally.

Muddled thoughts race through your head. You want to say so many things but nothing comes out, your mind a jumbled mess of intertwined wires. Goddamnit, Y/N, say something.

He turns to walk through the hotel room, and you have no choice but to watch his back as he retreats. But then he stops in his tracks, turning to look at you once more. He has hurt written across his face, you can see it even in the darkness.

“Where is Roger, by the way?”

He tilts his head to the side, challenging you to answer him. You stare in silence, no answer on your tongue.

He nods, his own point proven to himself as he goes to turn back around, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

#omg omg omg #here it is #it's taken too long #part 1 #!!!!#brianmayxreader #Brian May #fem!reader #angst #slowburn #fic #queen #i have no excuses #Give It All For You

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acuraintergurl · 3 years

Text

random things/ saying i love

- when ppl say” love u long time”

- braces ( or what i call them “mouth full of jewels and metal )

- when lighter skin ppls knees get pink

- the color pink itself

- piercings

- when girls have lots of jewelry on them. like lots of bracelets that clang and make lots of noise when they move, necklaces, rings, waist beads, etc etc

- when ppl have summer songs! like when they have a song that reminds them of the summer time or that they played non stop during the summer.

- buzzcuts!!

- when friends or significant others do each other’s hair. like in waves alexis was dyeing tyler’s hair blonde. or in buzzcut season by lorde, she sings about how her and her friends would cut each other hairs when it would got super long in the summer time.

- bikinis!

- huge glasses that hide most of ur face

- mullets especially on girls.

- when i see black girls all collectively wearing their bonnets 2 bed.

- bangs so long that u cant see their eyes

- acrylic nails and painted toes

- DAD HATS!

- bushy eyebrows

- when ppl have a certain piece of jewelry that they always wear and never take off even 4 a shower

- when friends have a thing. example: let’s say a friend group meets every saturday and watches adventure time and eats mcdonald’s, like everyday saturday! and that’s their thing.

- when ppl smile or laugh so big u can see the gaps in their teeth

- kisses on thighs

- when ur hugging someone and u wrap ur arms around their hips and kinda hang ur thumbs on their belt loops

- when ppl tape bus tickets, movie tickets, play tickets,metro cards or old receipts from diners or whatever into their journals

- tattoos on fingers

- ice cream trucks

- when ppl have an unspoken understanding of things (like how my ex bestfriend microwave worked in specific way like u had 2 turn it a certain way and stop it at a certain time and everyone in the house understood how 2 work it.)

- imperfect ponytails

- kisses on knuckles

- 2016/2017/2018 aesthetic

- when ppl have like comfort backpack or bag? like a bag they put everything in and use all the time and like cant live without

- when ur done getting ready and someone ask u 2 do a “360”

- when u get close enough 2 someone that they show u their baby pictures

- when someone knows u enough 2 already know ur order at a food place.

- “emotional support water bottles”

- napping with ppl

- darker skinned ppl blushin

- iphone 6 camera quality

- leaving clothes at a friends house bcos ur just close like dat lol

- having a gas station order?!

- mistki’s lyricism

- sonder son

- birth marks/beauty marks

- putting flowers in hair

- chuck taylor’s

- when willow smith says “ run my hands through your hair you wanna run your finger through mine but my dreads 2 thick and that’s alright”

- smoke fits! meaning when smokers who live in cold areas have 2 go outside 2 smoke we usually have 2 layer up so we end up having these cute ridiculous looking outfits and everyone kinda has this mutual understanding not 2 judge.

- friendship bracelets

- bulky jackets

- keychains and when ppl have tons of stuff on it

- crochet dresses

- “nobody’s heart is perfect”

- “don’t push away the ppl that ground u”

- the concept of not being who u r without some of the ppl in ur life “i wouldn’t b who i am without u”

- “u r the greatest love i’ve ever felt and known”

- the skating rink

- ppl with soft skin

- the little patch on the back of levi jeans

- when women let their hair grow and don’t wear bras (wishin i had the confidence 2 not wear one)

- painting someone’s nails/someone painting ur nails

- when ppl say “always” as an alternative 4 “i love u”

- the word “ache”

- rubbing ur hands over thighs, but not aggressively more sliding ur fingers over their thigh and knees

- sweaters

- the non stop laughter while high

- baby tees and graphic tank tops

- the song honey by kehlani

- tan lines

- collecting journals

- the fair

- the cute little messages on victora secret perfume bottles

- “if we ever stop talking send me a song”

- charm bracelets

- pretty lacey bras

- cute pretty little pins in girls hair

- black girls with bangs

- stickers on phone cases

- puffer coats

- smoking in the summer

- the pet name “honey” and “baby”

- when someone rests their head on ur shoulder

- when ur listening 2 music with someone and ur using wired headphones so u have 2 b rlly close so the headphones don’t come out from ur ears

- gunky mascara and glossy lips

- sitting on benches on a sunny day

- the summertime 😍😍😭

- new york city

- when girls put their hair up in a lil pony and it swings

- when ppl tell u about the dream they had when they like first wake up and there’s something so subtly pretty about the slur in their voice due 2 just waking up and how heavy their eyes r

- when u can hear bits of someone’s accent when they get rlly passionate about something

- the sleep u get after being out 4 a rlly long time

- when you’ve been in tight shoes most of the day and get home and finally take them off and just relax urself or when u have socks on 4 a while and u take them off and there’s lines from the inprint so u just rub on them and it feels nice

- when ur touching knee slightly hits someone’s knee and they don’t move

- the neon “open” signs at gas stations at night time

- how girls look when they’re doing their makeup and look super focused

- in movies when the camera pans 2 the teenager in the house door and like they have a door collage and one of the pictures is “STAY OUT” or “KEEP OUT” suppper edgy right? lol

- slushees

- sleeping after swimming in the pool all day

- tote bags

- when ur in the store and u have been pushing the cart 4 a while so in result of getting tired u slump ur upper body onto the cart a little bit and close ur eyes and breathe

- having bikinis air dry in the summer

- pretty chinese mesh slippers

- bucket hats

- girls getting ready 2gether

- girls straightening or doing each other hair

- the intimacy of putting lipstick on someone else’s lips

- when b4 someone shows u something that they’re excited about they say “ur gonna freak” or “ur gonna die” idk it gets me excited

- the word ghetto and ratchet ppl think it’s an insult but i think of nice things when ppl say that. like “ratchet happy birthday” by drake gives me fun and lit vibes. and ratchet saturn girl” by amine gives me dream girl vibes

- when u sleep with someone and y’all have unsaid understanding of ur sides of the bed

- women with big/chubby arms

- the shower u take right after cutting ur hair

- when the song ur listening 2 bass is so heavy so u start nodding ur head 2 dance along.

- the sweater + leggings + long socks combo

- handwritten letters 4 no reason

- letters 2 urself

- excessive use of emojis

- the sisterhood of girls asking 2 braid ur hair in class

- using the word “fly” as a compliment

- bowls cuts

- gogo boots

- girls wearing boxers

- when ppl call thei girlfriends “my girl”

- nicknames

- locs

- thongs

- moisturized skin

- daniel caesars lyricism and album freudian

- when ppl call ppl with long legs “legs”

- “oh brother!”

- DARIA

- “love u the most”

- so cute that ppl say “peace!” as in goodbye it’s like instead of goodbye u wish 4 them peace ☮️ that’s so freakin cute

- “luv bug”

- i luv when ppl with bigger long hair and bangs push their glasses 2 their forehead or up 2 their hair so their hair moves into this weird position that makes their hair look so cute n messy and i luv it.

- “take care of urself”

- “till 4ever falls apart”

- VS pink underwear

- when u can see a girls pantie lines in leggings

- women wearing leggings

- women with hairy arms and legs

- thick nice acrylic nails

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years

Text

1x07 - Victor, Victrola

Finally! This is one of the most iconic episodes of this show and one I’ve been dying to get to since I’ve started with these recaps, Here we go!

This one got so long I’ve decided to post it with a keep reading brake.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

I love that it opens with a vintage filter, which I don’t think I’ve noticed much the first time. I do remember thinking of this little preview “Guess Chuck’s meeting someone who’ll give him a run for his money”

Also how good is that shot of the those hills climbing up the steps, or maybe is just that I love the shoes

These is one of my all time fave Blair’s school outfits, she looks so pretty, and I love the obnoxiously big red bow.

Things I should have wondered, wasn’t this something Chuck would have show Nate before her? But this scene is a quick way to show that they’re in fact really good friends

“What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola” Not really Chuck, not really

God I hate Nate’s Dad

I don’t know why but I found a bit funny how the Captain’s office has so many little nautical details, kind of oversell

“I think I saw it next to that ambiguous vague shape” hi mom!

Dan lamenting that new Yorkers don’t have cars and therefore teens can’t make out in them, yeah Dan about that…

Nate’s attempt at bribing Jenny it’s so lame it’s almost funny

Chuck casually pointing out to Lilly that she missed a button, oh Lily!

It’s almost endearing to see Chuck put so much effort with his dad and how eager and accommodating he gets when his father says yes.

I love the scenes were Serena and Blair have typical best friends conversations.

OMG I had totally forgot that Dan was reading the Kamasutra in search of inspiration, also getting this anxious and picturing all these scenarios in his head. I feel you dude.

Does that cherry stem trick is actually possible? Ugh why am I even thinking about that. Though didn’t the show used that bit on a poster?

That dress does looks ugly in a hanger

That was a good analogy of Vanessa’s role in this show.

Lily was so nice to Chuck from the start, as early as this episode, theirs is one of my favorite parental relationship in the show

How does Vanessa knows all about Serena’s hook up history though? Didn’t she went on Gossip Girl or Dan has a big mouth? Well I guess is the same thing.

“Game recognizes Game little J” Oh Blair you have no idea, also no, the Vanderbilt is ring is not the most amazing ring you’ll ever see.

Gotta admire the show’s attention to detail, Serena and Nate may be making out on Dan’s kitchen, but they still use the same background music they used the first time we saw that scene, but relly I had forgot how much fun I laugh with all his imagined scenarios.

For once I actually feel bad for Dan, having your own father tell you to get rid of those sheets. Akward.

Aside from Nate’s dad, and maybe Eleanor everyone else at that dinner really looks like they want to be anywhere else but there.

“I tried Blair” oh please Nate, you call her once, it went to voice mall and you couldn’t bother again, but I guess it was just easier to go to the palace to talk to Serena.

I remember the first time I watched this I was like “Yes Blarir finally! You tell him!

It should have been obvious since earlier in the episode, but when she steps out of that car it was the first moment it hit me that OMG the girl at the start of the episode was Blair! It is funny how while I already knew that now, the same thought kind of hit me again.

YOU GO BABY VAMP!

‘You still would do anything to get a girl on her back though’ it would not be S1 episode without a bit of Lily and Rufus banter

“Nobody’s ever looked at me the way you just did” what a telling line. Though did Dan and Serena did it or not?

Iconic scene is iconic. Vintage filter and all.

Gossip Girl was never the same again

What a good episode in every way. Normally I always get bored with one of the little subplots, but not on this one. Hell I actually liked Dan and Serena this week, which hadn’t happened like since 1x01, and even then it was with a grain of salt. This episode is also hilarious, I didn’t watch this when it aired so I don’t know if they hinted at Blair and Chuck in one of their promos, but I hoped they didn’t because I like the way the episode flows a lot, we spend the whole episode seeing Dan getting anxious about losing his virginity, and then out of nowhere it’s Blair the one that ends up the night no longer a virgin.

Also I did enjoy this episode so much more this time around not only because well I’m a chair fan but because there are a lot of little details, almost like Easter eggs that point out to the last scene, like Dan pointing out the tragedy of New York’s teens without car where they can make out, or when Serena tells Blair that maybe planning and thinking too much about it may ruin the moments, and then you have Blair at the end of the episode losing her virginity on Limo without planning it at all.

In the Dan and Serena front though this episode is one that gives a bit more insight on the why’s Serena can’t never really forget a about Dan. She had being treated awfully by most guys she ever came across, and Dan’s the first that actually treats her like she’s worth it and worries about her feelings, we know it’s not as perfect as she sees it, he had been pretty judgmental of her in half of the episodes so far, but she doesn’t realize it because she’s used to man objectifying her for a long time now, she doesn’t see her own value, and that’s the tragedy of Serena’s character and why she deserved so much better.

This episode is also the one in which Nate’s family issues get to a boiling point, we finally see the amount of problems Nate’s dad has and why he’s absolute trash, and things are only about to get even worse. Really this episode almost everyone in the parental front is keeping a secret or being in denial, trying to keep the status quo in their lives, in contrast most of the teens are at the verge of really taking a step into action, Nate finally does something to put a stop to his dad lies by getting him arrested, Serena is experiencing a loving relationship for the first time, Dan gets ready to leave his virgin status behind, Chuck is taking his first steps in the business goals and Blair is finally ready to accept that his relationship with Nate must end. In the end though, of course Chuck and Blair went through something else this week.

Honestly, what can I say about Chuck and Blair in this episode that hasn’t been said before. This is the start of one the most iconic couples in T.V. I mean if they were real people this was the night that changed the course of their lives forever, it’s a monumental moment for so many reasons. There’s Blair who up until now, has never contemplated a future that doesn’t includes Nate, but as each previous episode showed holding up to that future gets harder and harder, no matter what she does, he seems farther and farther away from her reach, she tries being sexy, ruining Serena, elaborate games and none of it goes, by the time the family dinner comes to be, she’s exhausted, she’s all prim and proper, Vanderbilt ring in her hand and she’s never looked more miserable. And so she lets go of Nate, and goes to the one place she can escape from it ill, it’s a very obvious visual image but still I love the moment the dress came off is the moment one can tell she’s finally free from it all, basking in that relief she said she felt.

So she dances, and she does it for Chuck Bass. It may have happened because of a dare but really it’s almost logical that she let’s all her uptightness on the floor in his company because if one goes back and looks to the previous six episodes she’s at her realest with him, since the first episode he doesn’t sugar coats her thoughts with him, doesn’t pretend to be nicer, makes him a part of her plots and he knows about all her issues with Nate, their friendship is a lowkey constant in the background, and this episode starts with a reminder of that fact, he takes her to Victrola because he trust her judgment above all others, his second toughest critic, only behind his dad. Their friendship is one factor about them that I feel got lost as the season go by, but it’s one of my favorite aspects about them, because that was the very first layer of their relationship.

They probably never thought about their friendship being something especial, about the fact that they shared bits of each other in a way they didn’t do with Nate and Serena, they always had chemistry and in some deep part of their brain they probably knew it all along, but it was much better to ignore it because what was the point, but is funny how as soon as Nate is out of the picture and it’s just them without inhibitions, this happens.

It’s not hard to imagine that Chuck had always thought she was “10 times hotter than pretty much anyone” This is Chuck Bass after all, and he also admired her personality, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought that Nate was probably the worst match for a girl like Blair, and yet the way he looks at her while she’s dancing, he’s in complete awe of her, he already had her in high regards, but he had no idea that when she lets herself be free she’s the most mesmerazing thing he has seen, and oh how he wants her, it’s written all over his face when he says how amazing she was up there, and Blair who’s used to be unwanted by Nate can’t help but be drawn to it and so she kisses him, and he knows he could go for it and she most likely won’t reject him, still he asks her if she’s sure because he knows that while sex is not a big deal for him, the first time was important to her and how she only tried to rush into it until she felt she was losing, he had first row seats to all the drama that was her relationship with Nate, and so with that little question he lets her know that there’s no pressure, and also a first clear nod to how she’s different for him, he may be all for encouraging a girl to sleep with him, but not this time, and she knows it and she takes the leap, she’s doing this for her, because she wants to, not forcing it as she always had to.

Iconic scene is iconic.

Random bits:

I can’t remember if it was mentioned before but Chuck’s line “he was born poor; I was born loaded” is the first mention of the fact that the Basses are new money.

Without you ends up being a really accurate song for their whole relationship.:

I don't want this moment to ever end Where everything's nothing without you I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile 'Cause it's true: I am nothing without youThrough it all, I made my mistakes I stumble and fall, but I mean these wordsI want you to know: with everything, I won't let this go These words are my heart and soul I'll hold on to this moment, you know 'Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show that I won't let go

#as you can tell by now if you follow me i rant and rant and i can't help myself #gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #chuck x blair #victor victrola #1x07

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redtailfins · 4 years

Photo

the battepug barely has enough room for two people so charlie usually gets booted off cause he can keep pace with bouncy slime boot mcgees. doesn’t stop him from complaining tho.

under the cut is me rambling on about designs and powers and stuff

Grizzly: i changed his outfit last minute cause i finally worked out what the pug in his icon is wearing but now im not so sure cause he looks like my human wheatley design and i hate that so much. his powers are sound based purely because of anime voice camp. basically he can replace the sounds made by things. he uses his speakers and microphones to record and save sounds that he can use. the microphone on the end of the sword thing can absorb sounds which can be released as a shockwave by the blade (looks like the bloodskal blade in skyrim). it also works the other way round, the blade of the sword can absorb shock and pressure and release it as sexy bass-boosted white noise. the giant pug was adopted by the team from The Society for Rehabilitation of Superpower Affected Animals, it’s a normal pug that got turned lorge by someone’s superpower. the pug’s name is bear because i am not sublte. they only listen to grizzly, and later on grizzly gains a telepathic link with them after eating a schlatt apple. this is very useful for the team however the downside is that bear’s thought’s can overwhelm grizzly’s; if bear sees a pigeon and chases after it grizzly will want to do that as well. it’s very embarrassing for him. hoo boy i somehow managed to write a fuck ton about grizzly can’t wait for the charlie section.

Condi: ngl i got stuck with this design. i genuinely couldn’t think of a power. He straight up doesn’t have one (at least not an obvious one.) He’s the tech and battle analysis guy, probably the glue keeping the team together since they’re all chaotic fucks. i forgot to add it but he has like a jousting spear thing so he can give backup from on top of the battlepug. there’s no stirrups on the saddle and grizzly has to sit at the front to steer so most battles start with the team charging in and condi screaming in terror as he nearly falls off every time grizzly turns.

Slime: first one i designed due to favouritism. charlie’s power is he can create slime!! hell yea. he can control whether it’s poisonous or healing. he keeps healing slimecicles on his person so he can chuck a healing at his team members. the slime is kinda sentient multiplying object that clings to his body. gross! he normally keeps it around his arms so he can reenact popular childrens toy sticky hand since he can make it extend and give people the big slapp. cause it’s stretchy and bouncy condi helped him make his bouncy boots out of it so he can fucking vibe. yo. he can also crystallise the slime so it’s sharp but when it’s crystallised it’s very fragile. overall charlie has the power most suited for battle but he’s inexperienced and tends to get distracted. he relies a lot on his teammates. he’s also one of the most affected by schlatt’s intimidation power, the other being wilbur.

All: These three dickheads form a rather scrappy and ragtag team of superheroes after the great flooding. their hero costumes are mostly homemade. slime is the unofficial leader of the group. they weren’t destined to be more than neighbourhood heroes until they got wrapped up in the schlatt and carson business. with the help of rt and members of the smp hero association they played the leading hand in defeated him. after schlatt was defeated slime tried to redeem him, basically taking him in much to everyone else’s chagrin. it’s only slightly successful.

I have design ideas for wilbur, rt, schlatt, cscoop, joko and maybe traves and carson but my brain not work so you’ll see those in about 20 years.

the worst part about this drawing is that you can see unfinished wilbur and rt.

i’ll be posting everything in #slimeball’s smpheroes

#send me condi power ideas please ill cry #actually just send power ideas for your faves id love that so much #smplive #smplive au #slimecicle #grizzlyplays #condifiction #minecraft #fanart #my dark ages art

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isitstraightvodka · 4 years

Text

hi angels! so i just woke up and i literally cannot take in that i saw queen and adam last night, it boggles my mind and i’m still shaking but i figured i’d make a little post of my experience!

travelling and getting into the stadium was fairly easy considering there was 80,000 people lol and i got some great merch (the tour program is STUNNING)! and i was already crying when i heard them soundcheck! when we were waiting, a storm rolled over and by god i was so happy when it passed, when the announcer said the show was going to start and people were allowed to move back onto the floor seats, we all cheered! and damn the sky looking like borhap? it was meant to be, but the real fun started at 9pm, when the lights went down.

i screamed my lungs out when i first heard rog on the drums, when i saw bri’s silhouette, when adam appeared in the spotlight in the most royal purple coat i have ever seen! to see them, right there, is an emotion that has no name; looking back on my photos and videos, i still can’t believe it. first few songs were brilliant, my mom had binoculars so i borrowed them from time to time; adam is legit so fucking beautiful in person i’m upset!

somebody to love was sooner in the setlist than i expected and i cried throughout the whole song, it’s my all-time favourite, so hearing it live was unfuckingbelievable 🥺 they chucked in whole lotta love and holy shit...adam’s vocals are INSANE, like i knew he was incredible but hearing his voice live, i ascended to a different planet. killer queen was outstanding and just hearing the entire stadium sing is an Experience and another one bites the dust is one of the best songs live, the sound of that bass? ooft! love of my life and ‘39...bitch i’m still not okay; bri was so warm and beautiful and funny, saying ‘it’s not fucking raining!’ and we all cheered! 😭 it was all going by so fast, i knew there weren’t many songs left when fat bottomed girls started, which bri’s guitar skills during that...out of this world, oh and his solo, and rog’s drum solo, for their age and how long they’ve been doing this, they’re doing better than ever! and everyone clapping along to radio ga ga, what a moment!

bohemian rhapsody was next and as soon as the intro started, the entire stadium screamed and sung in unison, that was probably the best song of the night, no tea no shade, it just sounds so fantastic when played live, adam’s voice really shone through and to see people headbanging in the crowd LOL that’s what queen is about! they said farewell to us, but came back about five minutes later for the encore with we will rock you, the stadium was moving from everyone stomping their feet and adam came out waving like the queen (i cried) and dressed like one, he SLAYED every outfit honestly. and i should mention bri was wearing his koala t-shirt for the bushfires :’’’’-) we are the champions was so wonderful live and to hear everyone sing every word, then they really said goodbye. at this point, my voice was gone but i still screamed when adam blew us kisses and bri and rog stepped forward and bowed and waved, tears everywhere; my face was a mess lmao but i didn’t even care, i had one of the greatest nights of my entire life.

getting home was easy too thank god my mom and i went for a drink in the city to celebrate, she had an amazing time as well and told me she cried, which made me cry more :’’’-) she surprised me with these tickets, she came with me to the concert, she was right there singing with me, i am so grateful to her, it is definitely a night we’ll both remember forever. it was 2am when we got home, actually watched some queen videos with adam, just to reminisce and i passed out with one huge smile. they really are one of the best bands in the world, i waited 14 years for a chance to see them one day and to now say i have seen queen and adam live is something i’ll cherish for the rest of my life. thank you for coming to sydney and bringing all the opulence and splendour you had to offer! i love you xx

#liv talks #i could type a lot more but then this would be a novel lmao #anyway i love them so fucking much and i had a real damn good time!

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littledarlinwrites · 5 years

Text

It Won't Kill Ya

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2774

Author's Note: First of all, thank you @teamcap4bucky for hosting your challenge and being so gracious and understanding about life and letting me get this in a bit late, I am so sorry for the delay, but I hope it was worth the wait! (Also, I used the “keep reading” feature before I posted this so hopefully it sticks, in case tumblr eats it, sometimes it doesn’t show for me until it’s shared, a new tumblr issue I’ve noticed) Also, huge thank you to @letstalkaboutsebbaby, doll you are my savior for this fic and helping me work this fic out when I was getting stuck. I love you so much!

Summary: "Why are you so nervous around me?" Will nerves get the best of both of you and ruin something before it even has the chance to start?

Warnings: pining, self deprecating talk/confession, mentions of alcohol

You swore it had been the longest New York winter to date. There had been snow on the ground consistently for the last three months. There had also been a lack of missions lately, as if the criminals had taken a holiday or decided to hibernate through the painfully long winter. All you knew at this point was that is you had to see the same walls inside the Tower for another minute that you were going to go insane. It didn’t help that team bonding night was tonight and currently you were stuck listening to Sam, Steve, and Tony argue over what movie to watch. Well, mainly Sam and Tony arguing, Steve was trying to to keep the two from starting a civil war over their choices. Even Steve’s diplomatic ways were grating on your nerves. You quietly got up from the couch and walked over to the guys yanking both DVD cases out of their hands and chucking them across the room. Tony was about to make some smart remark until he got a look at your face to which he promptly decided he liked his anatomy just the way it was.

“That’s it, we are going out tonight, or so help me, I will grab both of those DVDs and shove them up some unsavory places on the both of you.” You stated as calmly as possible which, if you were being honest with yourself, seemed to scare them more.

“Thank God!” Natasha remarked from her perched spot on the chair.

“Out?” Wanda spoke up.

“Out.” You confirmed.

“Oh, we should go check out that new club that just opened up!” Natasha suggested.

“Now that’s something I can agree with!” Sam spoke up smiling. Tony nodded his head in agreement. Steve didn’t look entirely convinced, but he didn’t shoot the idea down either.

“I’ve never been to a club before.” Wanda spoke up, a bit of excitement and curiosity laced in her voice.

“Then it’s settled. We are going to the club tonight. 10 o’clock.” You looked toward Natasha and nodded your head toward your room and head towards it. Natasha grabbed Wanda and followed you.

Once in your room, you headed towards your closet to see if you could find something to wear for tonight. Wanda sat on your bed while Natasha raided your closet with you occasionally throwing articles of clothing she thought had potential onto your bed. You were more picky on the clothes that had potential. You were hoping to get the attention of a certain sergeant. The man made you nervous. Bucky had this certain way of looking at you like he could really see you. That you weren’t what everybody else saw, a badass Avenger that handled everything that was thrown their way with grace and determination without an ounce of doubt or weakness. That if you were being honest with yourself, you had a lot of doubts, you weren’t as brave as you seemed more often than not, Like he could see every part of you that made you who you are, which scared the living shit out of you. It took you a long time to open up and trust someone with that amount of vulnerability. To trust someone with your soul. Yes, Bucky Barnes made you nervous.

Natasha stepped away from the closet and looked at the items she threw onto your bed to see what she was working with. It wasn’t until you reached the back of your closet that you found what you knew you would wear. A black off the shoulder bodycon dress that laces up the back. You grabbed your black knee high stiletto boots and walked out of your closet to show your friend your outfit. Wanda’s eyes widened since it was a bit more revealing that what you typically chose to wear. Natasha just had a smirk on her face. Natasha picked the rose gold backless V-neck mini dress for herself that she had originally thrown on the pile of outfits to be considered for you. You looked through the pile for something for Wanda and found a maroon V-neck silk-like bodycon dress that had a side slit. You handed it to her and told her to feel free to look over your shoe collection.

Two hours later, the three of you were dressed, had your hair and makeup done, and were heading down to the lobby of the tower where the guys were waiting for you. Your eyes immediately flitted to Bucky. He was talking to Steve, his metal hand was in his pocket, while the other was combing through his hair. A nervous tick of his that you had noticed. Your eyes couldn’t help but rake over his body. The crisp white shirt underneath his deep blue satin jacket did nothing to hide his strong physique. You could still tell there was rippling muscle underneath the layers of clothing. When your eyes ran over his black denim covered thighs you had to hold back a moan. Bucky Barnes was sent to personally torture you, and if it wasn’t the sweetest, most aggravating torture of your life. Maybe one day the pent up frustration would spark the courage you needed to put yourself out there. You doubted it, but hey, a girl can dream right?

“Buck, I’m telling you she’s into you, just go for it already.” Steve whispered to Bucky as the girls made their way from across the lobby. Bucky couldn’t help but stare at you as you said something funny to Natasha which caused the both of you to laugh. He could hear your laugh from here and it made his heart skip. His eyes scanned your body appreciatively before he realized that every single guy in the club would be doing the exact same thing. Even worse? They would have the nerve to talk to you, ask you to dance, and worst of all, ask you to come home with them. His stomach immediately soured at the thought. Bucky wanted nothing more than to be that guy, but every time he tried his throat would try up, his stomach would twist in knots, and his mind would completely blank on him aborting the mission before it even began. He wasn’t the same guy that he was back in the forties. He could flirt with dames all day, but not with you. He was a guy out of time, and you were out of his league. You made him nervous.

You looked away from Natasha when you caught up with the rest of the group in the main lobby just to catch a glimpse of Bucky looking away from you. As much as Natasha assured you that Bucky was into you, you couldn’t help but be disappointed by the lack of a reaction from him. Natasha noticed the look in your eyes and knew where your thoughts were. You were your own worst critic and your nerves often got the best of you if others lives weren’t at stake.

“Alright boys, you all ready?” You spoke to the guys, but avoided a certain super soldiers eyes.

“Hell yeah, let’s get this party started!” Sam said excitedly. It looks like you may not have been the only one eager to get out tonight. Before you could loop your arm with Natasha’s, she had moved towards Steve talking to him and walking ahead of the group. Wanda and Vision, Tony and Pepper followed them, and Bruce and Thor were talking about science and magic, along with Sam and Clint talking about weaponry. The left you and Bucky to follow up last.

As soon as you walked out of the tower you almost slipped on a patch of black ice outside the tower. Instead of feeling the cold, hard ground under your butt, you felt a solid, warm chest against your back, and two strong arms catching you.

“You okay, Doll?” Bucky whispered against the shell of your ear.

A breathy, “yeah,” escaped your lips as Bucky helped you regain your footing. You managed to stutter out a tank you to Bucky while keeping your head a bit tilted towards the sidewalk, but you managed to sneak a look up through your eyelashes to see a small smile grace his face. You couldn’t tell if he was blushing or if his face was just red from the bitter cold New York air. You involuntarily shivered before you wrapped your arms around yourself and began walking towards the club having already fallen behind the others by about a block. You felt something being draped over your shoulders.

“At least ‘til we get to the club?” Bucky said staving off the protest that was on your lips. You knew that Bucky hated the cold, but you couldn’t ignore the plea in his eyes and conceded to his request with a grateful smile and a nod of your head, your cheeks feeling even hotter than before. You and Bucky walked quickly, but carefully, and caught up with the others just before entering the club. You handed Bucky his jacket back, thanking him before Wanda excitedly pulled you towards the bar for drinks, while Tony got a table in a private section where everyone could sit down and drink, but have a good view of the dance floor. You down a couple of shots of tequila at the bar before helping Wanda carry both trays of drinks to the table. It wasn’t long until both trays of shots were empty. You could feel the buzz of alcohol singing through your blood, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit more relaxed because of it. You could feel the thump of the thump of blaring bass through the floor and when the song changed Wanda was grabbing yours and Nat’s hands and heading to the dance floor. The three of you danced, and it wasn’t long until a couple of the guys joined you three. You saw Vision try to mimic everyone else, but his movements were definitely a little awkward. Wanda simply just grabbed his hands that rested on her hips and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against his chest looking completely content as they swayed side-to-side, disregarding the beat of the music. You saw Clint make his way behind Nat resting his hands on her hips before turning her around to face him as they started dancing. It was long before you heard the deep Southern voice of Sam in your ear.

“I know I’m not a certain blue-eyed super soldier, but do you mind if I have this dance.” He asked, his voice barely audible over the loud music even though he was speaking into your ear from behind you. You turned around and nodded. You two began dancing and it wasn’t long before Sam had you laughing from spinning you in a circle. When you looked over his shoulder though, your laughter died on your lips. Bucky was putting his jacket on and making his way toward the exit. Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were hoping Bucky would have asked you to dance and it seemed as if the moment was passing. You don’t know if it was the buzz of alcohol in your veins, or the irrational fear that if this moment passed you didn’t know if either of you would ever work up the nerve to really know each other and maybe, if you were lucky, become something more.

“Go.” Sam said, you looked at him questioningly. “Go get him, trust me.”

You didn’t wait another second before bolting after Bucky, he was too far away, and the music was too loud for even his super soldier ears to hear you calling his name. He had made it through the exit before you could call his name again where he had the potential of hearing you. You took the stairs two at a time, rolling your ankle once. Before you made it to the door that led you outside.

“Bucky!” You called his name as you threw open the door. Bucky turned around shocked that you were standing there. You took a wobbly step onto the sidewalk, letting the door shut behind you. Bucky noticed the wobble in your step and jogged over to you before you could almost fall for a second time that night, while he loved seeing you in heels, he didn’t love the idea of seeing you fall in them.

“Why are you so nervous around me?” You blurted out. Grace was beyond you at this point, in all honesty it was probably beyond you three shots of tequila ago, but your irrational panic wasn’t helping anything here either. Bucky looked down at his shoes, taking a breath before stumbling around his words to answer your question.

“I just, I guess, I thought you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me.”

“Like you? What do you mean someone like you?” Bucky took a deep breath before making eye contact with you and the look in his eyes broke your heart.

“Someone like me, I’m a monster. I’ve killed people, even though I wasn’t mentally there at the time, it was still me that did it. I’m an experiment gone wrong, well, right for HYDRA, but wrong. I’m broken, and you deserve someone whole. Someone good. Someone that isn’t me. Someone like Sam probably.” At that moment it dawned on you, Bucky even if Bucky saw you down to your core, he couldn’t see himself clearly.

“Dance with me?” Your small voice cracked out.

“What? There isn’t even music playing out here.”

“It won’t kill ya.” You reply back coyly, a hopeful smile playing at your lips. Bucky looked at you for a minute before moving towards you apprehensively, he rested his hands gently at your waist, just a feather light touch from his metal one. Your hands made their way to behind his neck. You two swayed slowly back and forth. It took you a minute to gather your scattered thoughts before you spoke up.

“You’re not a monster you know,” you began, your voice just above a whisper, but you could tell by the way his muscles stiffened that he had heard you.

“A monster doesn’t feel remorse for pain they caused, they don’t feel guilt. They don’t worry about others more than themselves, or worry about others at all. Monsters don’t try to right their wrongs, or fight evil. Good people do. So, you aren’t a monster Bucky, and just because HYDRA experimented on you doesn’t make that the only thing about you. I wish they hadn’t done all those awful things to you, but I am glad they saved your life, because if they hadn’t you probably wouldn’t be here right now, and I wouldn’t be hopelessly in love with you. I love how strong you are because most people wouldn’t have survived everything you’ve been through, let alone survive and come out the other side strong and fighting back. I love how you seem so sure of yourself, and every move you make with the team when we’re out on a mission because there are times I’m scared absolutely shitless, but then I look over at you, and you’re strong, and not just physically, but you make me feel safe because I know you have my back. Everyone always thinks I’m strong, and brave to the point of fearless, and smart, but I doubt myself constantly, and I’m always worried about making the wrong move and who it will effect and that if I make the wrong one it would be all my fault, and what if someone got hurt because of me and I can’t fix it-”

Bucky placed both hands on the side of your face, tilting your head to look up towards his before leaning down and kissing you in the middle of your rant. You could taste the citrus and mint on his lips from the mojito he drank at the club. You pressed your body against Bucky’s and kissed him back. Your tequila-addled brain quickly losing it’s previous train of thought as the thought that Bucky’s lips were really on yours consumed you. By the time you broke apart you both were needing air. Bucky rested his forehead against yours.

“I wanna know ya, Doll.”

“I wanna know ya too, Bucky. Every part of you.” You could see the internal struggle Bucky was dealing with, worried that if you knew every part of him it would scare you away. He nodded his head before whispering four words you thought you’d never hear.

“I love ya too, Doll.”

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