#do i seriosly have nothing better to do??
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LINK: You Disgrace The Human Race
Summary: Jon and Damian decide to hate each other, but it doesn't go as planned.
ft. Damian being a smartass, Jon being a dumbass, and that one scenario where one is caught in the rain and the other helps them out a lil bit. (2nd one shot)
Life was good as Jon Kent, alright?
He walked into school and there were people fawning over him, groups of his peers who demanded his attention. Sure, schoolwork was there, but it could wait. Besides, who needed school when they weren’t going anywhere, anyways?
His brother Kon had gone into high school with the same ideas, and came out passing everything with fairly decent grades, surely he could too, and have even more time.
He was wrong, evidently, as his latest report card had him failing nearly every one of his classes.
And that was when fate decided to drop one very aggravating, very hot boy in his lap.
He wouldn’t lie, he had seen Damian around some time, but had never gotten a full glimpse of him. It was always just his hand going up in class or his clothes with varying shades of green sweep around the corner.
Now that he knew him, and his family’s history with teens like him. He was determined to not be another sucker.
No offense, Kon.
Besides, he was so annoying, with his smug smirks and stupid remarks and his pretty eyes and there was NO WAY he was falling for it.
However, now that he knew who he was, and put a name to the face in a way, Damian was everywhere .
In his AP class, bumping into him in the hallways, seeing him at lunch. Damian never acknowledged him farther than a “Excuse me,” when he bumped into him and moved to get by.
It was infuriating, frankly, because now that he knew that he existed, a foolish part of him wanted to be seen. Would a hello kill him?
He asked just that as they collided in the halls, sending Damian’s books and papers flying all over the hallway.
“What’s your problem, dude?” The girl Damian was walking with scowled at him, helping Damian pick up his stuff. If he remembered correctly, her name was Maya.
“It was an accident.” Jon bit back, picking up the book that landed in front of him, but not adding it to the stack the other boy had in his arms.
“Accident, my ass.” Maya scoffed, Damian reaching a hand in front of her to stop her movement.
“It’s alright. You can head up without me, I'll be there as soon as I collect the rest of my items.”
She nodded and left, but not before a glare sent Jon’s way.
“The book, please, Kent.” Damian held a hand out, waiting.
“Oh, so now you acknowledge my existence.”
“I’m sorry, I was unaware we were friends.” Damian raised an eyebrow at his seemingly offended tone.
“We are not! ” Jon sputtered. “But it would be nice to be said hi every now and then by the person i am in forced socialization with on weekends.”
“I was under the impression that you hated me?” His calm air rubbed at Jon's heighted one the wrong way and he glowered at the shorter boy.
“I do hate you!”
“Feeling is mutual. Now, my book?”
They faced off, staring at each other. Jon slowly raised the book up above his head, watching the distaste spread across his face.
“I cannot believe you. Truly, you put the juvenile in juvenile delinquent.” Damian eyed the book above him, gaze calculating.
“That may be, but let’s think about this, short-stack, how high are you going to have to jump to get what you want?”
Damian seemed bored, and completely unfazed. “I am not a trick dog. Besides, how do you know that one is even important to me? Let’s see, my next class is Advanced Algebra ll, if that isn’t my math book then you can very well keep it.”
Jon brought it down to eye level to read the title, “This is for Englis- HEY!”
As soon as it was lowered, Damian snatched it out of his hands. “Pleasure doing business with you, Kent.”
He watched as the other sashayed past him, an annoying little laugh escaping him.
“I hate you.” Jon seethed to himself, definitely not watching him leave, before turning on his heel and going the opposite direction.
Honestly, what was this guy’s problem?
Damian minded his own business, went along with his day, and ignored him. Obviously if you didn’t like someone at all, you would never demand their attention!
But now, coming down the hall with the newly reclaimed book in his hand, he asked himself exactly why Jonathan Kent seemed so insistent on getting his attention, only to use it to mock him.
He was certainly feeling similar to how the delinquent said he felt, although hate was a bit strong.
Insane dislike? That was closer.
Much more like an annoying prick in his side, or a constantly probing pain. Something that in theory, could be brushed away, but kept coming back.
An untrained puppy?
No, no, Jonathan wasn’t cute enough to be a puppy. Not that he wasn’t attractive. Not that he was attractive to begin with.
Ugh.
None of this was going to fit, so it was much easier to file him away with the label of “annoyance.”
Surely, this too would pass.
Damian shuffled through the day as usual, answering questions and avoiding all contact with Jon if possible. He did not need something to distract him from his studies, nor convince him to divide his attention.
The final bell rang and he gathered his books, shoving what he could in his bag, but only ones that wouldn’t smush the papers in the carefully color-coded folders.
He hauled the rest out and wrinkled his nose as the cold air hit him. It was unusually chilly for the day, and little droplets of water began to fall in a slowly scattered shower.
It would be a pain to make the walk outside all the way to the vast pick up area where one of his older brothers was sure to be waiting with the car.
He gathered up the last of his stretcher and hugged his books to his chest, so as not to destroy the ones that wouldn’t fit in his bag.
Damian had made it halfway when a warm weight draped across his shivering form and he looked up.
Jonathan was holding his jacket over him and placing it on his shoulders.
“Gimme your books.” He demanded in a less than friendly tone. Damian stared at the taller boy, wondering slightly if he’d hit his head by accident.
“ Oh for God’s sake -” The boy muttered, yanking them out of his grip and moving him forwards.
“What the hell are you doing?” He found his voice somewhere between then and where they were rounding the building to the parking lot.
“I’m carrying your stupid books, what does it look like?” Jon’s voice was irritated, ushering him along quicker.
Damian quirked an eyebrow. “Careful, I might just start thinking you don’t hate me after all.”
Jon scoffed. “Can’t have Mr. Perfect ruining his spotless attendance with a sick day, can we? Don’t think this means we’re friends or anything, I just don’t want your demise on my hands.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Damian muttered, tightening the borrowed leather jacket around himself.
They reached the car and Jon handed him his books, Damian trying to offer him the sweater back.
“Keep it, it’s already infested with your good boy cooties.”
“What are you, five?”
“And a half!” Jon smirked, trotting off. “Keep your stupid face out of the rain.”
“Ass.” Damian muttered, sliding into the backseat of the car.
Dick was the driver today and he looked in the rear-view mirror, smiling.
“Who’s your friend, lil D?”
“He’s not my friend, he’s the most annoying human being to ever grace my presence.”
“Well, looked pretty friendly to me, carrying your books. I don’t think that’s your jacket either, is it now?” Dick tapped his finger on the steering wheel, keeping his eyes on the road and a knowing smirk on his face.
“Just shut up and drive, dick. ” Damian hissed, subconsciously burrowing into the warmth the borrowed jacket offered.
“That felt more targeted than my actual name.” Dick pouted. “I’m just trying to bond with my baby brother!”
“I am not a baby, Richard. ”
“Mhm.” They switched lanes and made their way home, Damian grumbling all the while.
The leather jacket stayed on, and ended up folded over his desk chair for the next few days.
What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.
#damian wayne#jondami#jon kent#damijon#supersons#bad boy x good girl#bad boy x good boy#modern au#no capes au#no powers au#high school au#high school#enemies to lovers#enemies to friends to lovers#I knew you were trouble (bad boy Jon x good student Damian)#maya ducard#dick grayson#why did i make another one#do i seriosly have nothing better to do??#fluff#humor#fluff and humor#that one jacket thing#idk damian is wearing jons jacket thats all ik
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I know that all this posts are annoying specially when I haven't posted a fic in so long but I seriosly can't cope with this, this cat was with me for 14 years through everything, when I had nobody and nothing, through all the darkness, she was always there as a light, she gave me all the love she had to give, she was my world, I slept curled up with her for 14 years, she used to hold me or nestle in my hair on my pillow, I'm to scared to go to bed, I don't think I can overcome this pain, my heart feels shattered for real, it feels like my guts have been ripped, and there's also this guilt that I could have been better, do more, loved her better as she deserved because she gave me her all.
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I'm about to be controversial and talk about eating disorders so read at your own risk
I'm getting really fustraighted that eating disorders are only taken seriously at the point you look emaciated.
Moreover, I'm getting real annoyed that stuff like bolima and anorexia will get people casting there eyes down and saying you can get through this, but over eating just makes you look gross and undisciplined and makes people judge you.
Being a teenage girl SUCKS because people will say things like "wow! You've really lost waight! Good job!" Or "gosh, your really putting that away huh...." like YEAH JENNIFER I HAVEN'T EATEN PROPERLY IN A WEEK.
You can't win!!
It was worse when I was younger cus I came from a...below the breadline household. Sometimes the only food I'd get was the food at school so yeah, when times where more plentiful I'd over indulge. Not feeling hungry felt like a victory but the not eating, the loosing waight, the being hungry to the point it hurt was praised?? Is praised?? All bec I'm a little more solid.
Puberty hit and I gained a body type that would have to be actually emaciated before it looked worrying so people didn't worry. If anything they picked it apart. Told me I could have a flat belly if I just didn't have that extra bit of pizza, that last cake. What they didn't know was that I had been living on plain pasta for a month, cus that's what we had, and these nice foods might not appear in my life again for another two or so months.
And yeah. Now I'm older. Now I have money and can buy my own food and regulate my own diet but the things you expireance in your childhood are hard habits to brake. I feel this intense need to eat and eat and eat with the same desperation I had as a kid who didn't know the next time I'd have cocopops and not a small bowl of porridge or nothing at all.
Having that kind of self control is really hard and, when I first started to see my own money, damn near impossible. I'm a little better with it now and I'm learning regulation but no one ever takes it seriosly. After all, I'm not in hospital, am I? I look perfectly healthy, if not a little on the curvy side, what's the problem? Just go to the gym more and count your calories. Its easy. I just need more self dissaplin, that's all...
But counting calories, fasting for days on end, working out 2-3 times a day: doesn't that also sound like an eating disorder?
I'm not trying to invalidate people who have bulimia or anorexia certenly not the people that have spiraled enough to need medical treatment. That also isn't taken seriosly enough.
What I'm saying, sorta, is that big people can have anorexia. Small people can have binge eating problems and over eating isn't as simple as self control, just the same as under eating.
When a friend looses waight, Don't just praise them, ask why because they might not be doing it in a healthy way. When a friend gains waight, Don't just sit there and judge them, ask why.
They might need help, reach out BEFORE they end up hospitalised
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Hello. Firts story here. Sorry for the broken english. So sky is 24 and ras is 19. It was night. Rasazy was still awake because of the thunder and decides to walk around the church. She walk around every corner. Infront of sarv and ruv's room,and also the room of his brother selever. She really loves her brother sel and often would go sleep in his room. She got closer and closer to the church's door and all of the sudden she hears soft sobs.
She walk even closer and opens the door. She sees a girl crying silently in the storm she walks closer to her:
Ras: hello there
Sky: huh? H-hi
She lifts her head up and looks at ras. Suddently both of them start felling something weird in their chest's and start to blush
Ras: what are you doing here in the rain?
Sky: i-i don't have a place to stay
Ras: if you want you can sleep in my church.
Sky: you h-have a church?
Ras:well tecnically it's my mom's church
Sky:if there is space for me then i whould love to.
Ras: follow me.
She brings her in the church and opens her room door
Sky: wow there is sure a lot of space in here.
Ras:thank you
She takes a towel and dryes the girls hair.
Sky:thank you... Em what's your name?
Ras: rasazy. Ras for short
Sky: oh i never Heard of that name before. I'm sky
Ras: nice to meet you
Ras open her wardrobe and takes out one of her pj
Ras: here. It's too small for me
Sky:thank you-Achu!
Ras:oh it looks like you got a cold.
Sky: well i've been sitting in the rain for hours obviously i have a cold look i'm still shaking.
Ras:come on then. Let's go to sleep
They get into bed
Sky:wow your so warm...
Ras:like it?
Sky:yes-Achu!
Ras looks at the half-aspleep girl and feel heart beating hard in her chest
Ras:...
Meanwhile sky is asleep but ras is still awake because of her heart.
Ras:s-stay silent! She wispers hoping to not wake up the peacefully sleeping girl Who is now making soft snores.
After what felt like hours ras falls asleep too and wakes up at 3:56
Ras:ugh... I hate waking up during the night...
Ras was slowly compleatly waking up and start feeling something weird...
Ras:damn it. Why always at the worse times?
Ras opened her wardrobe careful not to wake up sky and takes a white box she opens it to reveal a lot of medical eqipment. She grabs a stetoscope and starts listening her heart. She sits on the bed and start masturbating covering her mouth with her hand.
She is afraid that she might wake up sky but that only turns her on more. After a few minutes of fun she puts away the stuff and gets right back to bed.
She hugs sky even if she has a strong heartbeat and wakes her up
Sky:mmmn...so cute...
She leans in and start listening carefully at her heart
Ras:"wait. Did she just said that she finds my heart cute?
Could she be...? No. A lot of people find heartbeats cute."
After a while ras falls asleep again.
They wake up toghether at 9:59
Ras:pretty late
Sky:thank you
Ras:for what
Sky:what do you mean for what? For yesterday
Ras:oh no prob
Sky:anyway i think i'm going Home now
Ras: wait!
Sky:? Yes?
Ras: could you give me your number?
Sky:sure it's 924 555 909
Ras:thank you
Sky:your Welcome.
Sky goes away
Ras: well it's a new day. Let's see what i have to do...
She looks into her list
Ras:oh no... It's today?
Ras looks and sees today she has to confess to her brother sel that she has a fetish
So she slowly heads into his room
She opens the door
Ras: sel?
Sel: oh hi ras. Didn't see you there.
Ras:...
Sel:what's wrong? You look anxius.
Ras:selever listen i have to tell you something very important. So please listen
Sel: sure what is it?
Ras hands start to shake and some tears fall from her eyes
Sel:Whoa! Ras hey don't cry!
Sel hugs ras
Sel:i'm right here. It' ok you
know you can tell me anything right? i will love you no matter what.
Ras: you p-promise?
Sel:i promise.
Ras stops crying after a few minutes. And sits on the bed
Sel:so what Did you want to say?
Ras:...
Ras was still pretty unconfortable talking about her fetish but she says it anyway
Ras: i... I have a fetish.
Sel:really?
Ras: *nods*
Sel:what kind of fetish?
Ras:h-heart f-fetish
Sel:oh so this turns you on?
Sel sits up grabs her hand and puts it on his chest.
Ras: y-yes...
Sel: that's cute
Ras: sel. Everyone calls this fetish cute. Maybe it is at first but it turns dark in a matter of seconds
Sel:oh~ so you want to open me up and look at my heart?
Ras:well yes but im not gonna do it.
Sel: obviously your not gonna open me lol
Ras: i want to show you someting
Sel:ok
Ras:follow me
Ras leads her brother in her room opens her wardrobe and takes the white box
Ras:i-i want you to open it. A-and please don't judge me
Sel opens the box and finds her sister's "toys"
Sel:wow how Did you get them
Ras:i stole them that time i was at the hospidal.
Sel:oh so you do have some criminal blood in ya.
Ras giggles when she Heard that.
Ras: i guess
Sel: you know ras? I'm happy that you told me.
Ras:why?
Sel: because that means you trust me
Ras: of course i do.
Sel:i'm going back in my room now. If you want to do some action with me it's fine
Ras:oh ok bye
Sel: bye
Ras is very happy that her brother didn't insult her or something.
All of the sudden she remembers sky. She knows she is in love. But she is afraid that she might hate her if she ever told her
Some months go by. Ras keeps tetxing her and sometimes goes for a walk with her. But latetly she's been getting some anxiety because she is afarid that Sky might not accept her confession or hate her because of her fetish.
She often goes to her brothers room to get some confort and one time she was in her brothers room he says something weird
Sel: ras listen i know you have anxiety because of the situation but i think it's better if you start talking with other people. Like mom or dad. I'm not always here for you ras. I'm sorry...
Ras:that's... Very mature. I'm going to talk with mom
Sel: ok good luck
Ras starts walking around the church to find sarvente after a few minutes she finds her.
Ras: hey mom
Sarv: hello dear how are you?
Ras:i'm fine but i need to tell you something.
Sarv: what is it
Ras: i'm in love...
Sarv: really!? That's so beautiful! With Who?
That was the question she was afraid her mom could ask. Since she is very religious she's afraid that she dosen't like gay people
Ras:...
Sarv:come on~ tell me!
Ras: w-with a girl mom...p-please don't hate me...
Sarv smile became from happy to confused
Sarv:i could never hate you dear. Your my daughter and i love you no matter what.
Ras started crying tears of joy
Ras: t-thank you *sob* mom
Sarv:it's ok. It's sky the girl your in love with?
Ras:yes.
Sarv: i knew it. Every time somebody mentioned her your eyes would light up and you would start talking about her non-stop even ruv knows your in love
Ras:i'm glad.
Sarv: how about you confess her?
Ras:i'm afraid she would hate me
Sarv: come on. Why would she hate you?
Ras:You're right.
Sarv: go talk to her ok?
Ras:ok
Ras goes upstairs and to selevers room
Ras:guees whaat?
Sel:what?
Ras:tomorrow i'm going to confess!
Sel:finally! When your finished tell me how it went
Ras:ok
Tomorrow comes fast and ras texts sky
Rasazy📖: hi sky
Sky❤️: hi ras!
Rasazy📖: can you come to the church today?
Sky❤️:of course! Right now?
Rasazy📖:Right now.
Sky❤️:i'm coming!
Ras:and now we play the waiting game...
After a few minutes sky arrives
Sky: hi ras!
Ras: h-hi sky
Ras is on her bed lieing down. Sky comes closer and lies down with her
Sky: so what do you want to do?
Ras: well i need to tell you something...
Sky: what is it
Ras hands start shaking but she wants to tell the truth so...
Ras:stay there
Ras gets up and notices that she is compleatly shaking. Her heart is pounding visibly in her chest. She opens her wardrobe and takes the white box
Sky:what's that?
Ras:you'll see
Ras opens the box and takes her stetoscope
Ras:h-here...
Ras is shaking Violently and her heart is pounding at least 190 bpm
Sky noticed ras heart exploding in her chest.
Sky: you need to calm down
Ras:i'm sorry...
Sky:why? You Did nothing wrong.
Ras:i-i'm sorry that *sob* i-i have this fetish a-and it's *sobs*Obvious t-that you d-don't love me...
Sky:what the-? Who sayd that?! Cause that is not true also please don't cry i do love you.
Ras: really?
Sky:really.
Ras hugs sky with all her Force and stops crying.
Sky:also i already knew about your fetish. It's compleatly fine if you have one. Since you gave me a stetoscope i suppose you have a heart fetish so i'm gonna ask you a question... Do you enjoy more listening or being listend to?
Ras:b-being listend to.
Sky:allright then
Sky takes the stetoscope and listens to her new girlfriend heartbeat. Wich is still around 190 bpm
Sky: you seriosly need to calm down.
Ras: yeah? I'l try...
Ras takes a lot of deep breaths and her heart is now pounding at 140 bpm
Sky:it's still kinda fast but it's slow enogh.
Ras:so... What now?
Sky:now you kiss me.
They kiss passionetly sky still listening ras heartbeat getting fast again
Sky:wow... You really enjoy this do you?
Ras:yeah i do...
Sky:well then. How about we do some... "action"?
Ras:please do~
Sky:allright.
Just when sky was about to kiss ras selever walked in
Sel:...
Sky:...
Ras:...
Sel:Did i... Interupt something?
Sky:yeah...you Did...
Sel:oh sorry. Just wanted to see how you where doing. I'l leave now
Selever walks out
Ras:this broke the mood...
Sky:i'm sorry... Do you want me to bring it back~?
Ras:oh please...~
Sky slowly pulls ras clothes off
Ras:s-sky... I-i want to listen to your heartbeat...
Sky:sure~
Sky gives the stetoscophe to ras she puts it on and places the bell on sky's chest
Ras:wow. Your heart is fast...
Sky:i know
Sky grabs ras boobs and starts playing with them
Ras: ah~
Sky:like it?
Ras: y-yeah
Sky starts licking ras's body all over tasting her sweat and feeling her heart with her tounge. she goes lower and lower and starts licking her pussy
Ras:AH~ m-more!
Sky:ok~
Sky licks ras harder
Ras:FUCK YES~!
Ras soon cums and sky licks her clean.
Sky:you taste good. But i whould like to switch places.
Ras:hehe... Sure
Sky and ras switch places
Ras:i want to hear your heart while you come for me~
Sky:ok.
Ras starts licking sky's neck and sucking it
Sky:ah...
Ras slowly goes more down
And she starts licking her boobs
Sky:Ah~ oh r-ras...
Ras:hehe... Your heart is fast dear~
Sky:of corse it's fast... Ah i-it's because i-i really enjoy this
Ras:oh that's good. Let me go harder then.
Ras starts licking sky's pussy lightly teasing her. Then she licks in it harder and makes her cum.
Sky:AH~ o-oh ras...
Ras:i really love you and your heart
Sky:i love you too
Ras and sky kiss again
Ras: your heart is going nuts
Sky:what Did you expect?
Ras:oh. Nothing else dear~
A few minutes pass
Ras: sooooooo... Can we cuddle?
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Fanon as canon
(sry for bad writing, that’s gonna be some gramatic wrong shit but i NEED to say this -aahhh this is hard, sorry)
That’s not a message to antis (fuck them) but massage to pro-shippers. In our fandom we have some weird shit that we all agreed is canon? Its all because bakudeku started as enemies..? rivals? definetly not friends? Because Bakugo told Deku to go to kill himself.
That was a first episode; we didn’t know a shit except we need to protect Izuku at all costs bc he’s so adorable and just need protection. But then there is started some weird west shit where people completly ignoring what’s going on on the screen cuz no one noticed Izuku’s reaction on these words.
Well, you see, I came in fandom after wonderful villain!deku au’s and now i think its the dumbest thing fandom ever made so i was low-key shipping bakudeku. And one of the reasons why i started to watch this show was ‘cuz I wanted to see how really abusive this ship is. I wanted a proof. For my favorite kind fo AU and for my probably OTP.
...
But then I finally saw that scene, goddamn I laughed so fucking hard OMG. Pls rewatch it, PLEASE REWATCH IT WITH YOUR OPENED EYES.
Was it just me or Izuku’s first reaction was a desire to say “well fuck you too”???
Was he upset? Obviously, his notebook was thrown into window.
But what else? He was angry. He wasn’t scared before Katsuki glared at him. He wasn’t crying (his usual reaction at everything). After that, he just said that Katchan was stupid to say that.
That was the moment when villain!deku died to me. But so did a big part of bakudeku fandom cuz they are so good people who can’t do anything wrong so when they do, they need to apologise и этот момент во всех фанфиках написан как по методичке And so need Bakugo
BECAUSE HE BULLIED MIDORIYA FOR TEN YEARS or something like that apparently
(funny thing but i figured that russian just doesn’t have an equal translation; well we have a lot of childish nouns and a lot of verbs so we can translate ‘he was bullied’ but we can’t translate ‘that guy is bully’ without it sounded stupid and childish
THE FUNNIER THING: the closiest that i heard used is ‘provoker’ :D
i just found that very hillarious dontmindme)
Well, the question is: was Midoriya really get bullied? I saw enough animes to think it was not the case. Or it was nothing really serious and just words.
And look me in the eyes and tell me that this guy gave fuck about what people told him. Especially in middle school. He was one with his dreams against the world, even against his own mother (and i need to write another post why i hate Inko Midoriya and probably why I’ll never be accepted in your world of saints).
He was quirkless and people laughed at his dreams. His mother didn’t believe in him. But Katsuki? He just wanted get rid of him.
Big bad Katsuki, right? Because you never ever in your lives met people who you thought was weird, who made you feel weird. That could be your friends sometimes or your friend’s friend or just that one classmate - you have never been in such a situation, right? I’m not saying his actions are fine - nah, he was an asshole kid, but i can understand why.
Actually, if you read manga, it was said literally: Katsuki doesn’t see a problem in a bit of violence. He was raised that way, he’s angry kid, with not so family-friendly quirk (probably). But he knows when to step back, he follows rules, he’s a good student and he wouldn’t let his ‘friends’ smoke nearby bc he doesn’t want to get into trouble. His dreams (plans) are too big, he works so hard for them to happen. He might be an asshole but he’s responsible asshole за то и любим
So, some stupid kid who thinks he’s better then Katsuki
(btw go rewatch their first fight but without this ‘we need to protect Deku’ bullshit in your mind and listen to their dialog - it’s a gold of comedy misunderstandings honestly)
that kid thinks that he’s, being a loser (he WAS loser, smart ofc but still yeah it’s not good call him that but ffs), quirkless, can achive something for what Katsuki worked so hard. Most of you would’ve hate this kid too, don’t lie to yourselves.
But would he risk his dreams to hurt him?
Yeah, there’re moments from times when they were what? four? that frame where ‘he became bad after he got his quirk’? i honestly think it was a plothole but just imho :D Asshole violent little brat but i really would’ve love to know the whole story bc wtf. It’s probably my problem after being here too long so i automatically looking for bad things and it’s not like kids never fight. I don’t believe it was something drastically and IT IS the most drastic thing that i found in their history.
And after all... intresting point: Deku still thinks that Katsuki is amazing (even when he’s an asshole) and don’t you fucking dare call him a masochist ‘cuz he’s not. He would fight him.
He wanted to fight him when Katchan said that stupid thing (that you all so love to overthink). He fought him when they were little. He fought him in villain vs heroes lesson without that much of a second thought.
Yeah, he’s nervous around him at first bc Katsuki is loud and literally explosive and yeah, from that all you can think he’s scared of him, but is he? Izuku is nervous kid in general. He always was just a nobody for his classmates and it’s not like he was naturally talanted at anything (quite opposite) and his only parental figure is Inko (she’s wonderful woman, okay? but not the greatest mother and also nervous wreck). It was his first days in UA, Class 1-A was just introduced, we didn’t know anybody, and it’s some new test already - ofc he would be nervious.
So, anyway, if Katsuki didn’t abuse him physically, he obviously did that emotionally bc... we need a scape goat and we already hate Bakugo and he told Izuku to kill himself so that’s enough. Or bc he’s the only guy from Izuku’s chilhood who’s name we know, so we can blame him - he’s important to story, right? probably bc every story need an almost-villain so we can hate him altogether.
Or maybe bc it was not Bakugo, but a whole atmosphere: his classmates, teachers, his ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ mother. First of all, probably genes.
Second of all, ask yourself a question: can one stupid Izuku’s words Bakugo Katsuki break Midoriya Izuku? To the point where we call that’s a trauma, where Katsuki’s usual harsh vocabulary becomes a crime, where we write suicidal fanfics and they don’t sound stupid?
Except they does because Izuku isn’t suicidal, not even fucking close. He doesn’t have a trauma. He is just a nervous kid and - actually - he isn’t fucking weak (strong in spirit or smth like that).
Funny thing: when i first watch their exam right before summer camp arc, when they started talking that great speak about impassable wall, I actually thought that can be said about Izuku :D
He’s not easy to break and he easily ignores people’s opinions when he needs.
He’s self-destractive, not suicidal. Different things, guys.
I’m pretty sure even if he did thought about that ‘way out’, he never made this an option. Yeah, you actually can seriosly consider this as your ‘way out’ and then think that nope, not for you.
So, after all this FUCKING TEXT WALL OMYGOD, let’s get back to the point that I didn’t even stated in first place.
Why Katsuki need to apologise?
I’m sure at some point Katsuki hated Deku (bc Deku looked down at him whatever it was or wasn’t thruth - for Katsuki it was) and at some point Deku couldn’t leave him alone. He called him names (name ‘Deku’ was made before Deku happened to be quirkless, some people forget about that), but so did everyone and don’t make Katsuki the most evil one - unlike most, he had reasons and he’s an angry kid and Izuku was a bad guy in Katsuki’s story who wanted to destroy him while hiding behind his innocence smile - what a fucking story with a plot-twist it could’ve been, if it was Katsuki’s POV-
Katsuki didn’t ruin Izuku’s life, not even close. You can say, he ruined his childhood, but I would risk to say that was mutual (Greetings, Inferiority Complex!). Really, can I start to say that Izuku need to apologise to Katsuki bc he didn’t even try to understant his friend?
So, Bakugo is a bully bc we never saw an angry teenager and bc Izuku is innocent and it’s just them two in the world and Izuku is the only one who was hurt no, really, no jokes here, I think Katsuki is a lot more emotionally damaged then Izuku ever was and because we have a really dumb headcanons that we forgot were just our thought ебаное слово, вечно забываю как пишется and interpretations.
So we agreed that Katsuki beat Izuku bc he was quirkless and helpless (seems like EXACTLY THE REASON WHY HE WOULD DO THIS R I G H T) and called him names (definitely not bc he felt threatened by someone who’s supposed to be just a nobody).
...
Okay, that sounds bad so I rephrase it:
Why Katsuki should apologise to someone who he saw as a threat when he for so much reasons shouldn’t?
Not so simple anymore, hah?
Can sound dumb but ambivalent feelings is a thing. And that’s the only reason I can find to explain why Katsuki was the only one of the whole class who didn’t laughed when they’ve been told Deku’s trying get into UA. Because shitty nerd had a chance? Because shitty nerd thought that he stand the same ground as Bakugo and it wasn’t funny anymore? Because stop looking down at me?
Bakugo Katsuki is the best fucking character I’ve ever met. He’s so real. So complex.
And when you picture him as a bully or just a bad guy or abusive, you’re killing him as a character. I don’t like saying that 16y.o. are just kids, but he is AND he’s trying his best. He doesn’t understand all things and he has never met a proper rivals before and he’s definitely not a social person (and nope, you can’t change a character so deal with it and learn to see through this). And let him learn.
He may or may not look back one day and see what a little piece of shit he was, but I don’t think he would say something. He’s a man of action after all.
And I definitely think that would be unnecessary and would look forced bc Izuku doesn’t need this. Izuku isn’t a victim, and when you picture him as one, you’re killing him as a character.
(it should’ve been ended right after ‘OMG TEXT WALL’ but here we fucking are;
does someone read this?
i really hope this shit is readable; if not, it’s not about my shitty english that much, but my writing, ehh)
You have headcanons - good.
You figured them in a way to fill a gap in the story - great.
But for the love of characters, don’t fucking pretend them to be a canon.
But really, is it just me or does first chapter look weird? It’s fctually just funny how so many people seems stuck in FIRST CHAPTER when we are close to second hundred. I’m not saying ‘heeeey character development’. I’m asking: is first chapter a really good reason to make assumptions?
#bakudeku#bnha#boku no hero academia#midoriya izuku#katsuki bakugou#my shitty inglish#SEVEN HOURS OF MY LIFE TO THIS SHIT wooooow#its not even readable is it#i'm d o n e#just my disorganised thoughts tho
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oh who am i kidding! i still got more amazing people to talk about
hey everyone kaci or rather toymonnie here
look it’s almost my birthday i’ve been on tumblr a good few years now just starting out as a simple roleplayer
then slowly growing meeting new friends losing old ones... it’s been alot so i have alot of people to thank
@anjellybeanie
they are an amazing friend and artist they were the orginal artist of ask-mathtrap but couldn’t keep up but that is fine i understand and i don’t blame them for that honestly i am just glad we are still friends!
they worked hard and delivered very funny things to the blog even helped with memes and the creation of oreo the panda and agresser the trashpile
they helped me with personal problems and are just such an amazing person to chat with
their is more to thank about @renrink
a great friend and honestly? one of the reasons i am not dead without them... well i won’t say but i thank them for their friendship and being a great friend to chat with about my work or just my feelings they can’t always be there but when they are it helps alot
i decided to work on a gift for them by making a dr. terminal gaster vs reaper sans comic that is still in the works and i have the user @oodlesofskeletondoodles to thank for that seriosly they are an amazing artist and friend! i highly recmond their blog!
this list could go on forever so i’ll only list a few more people
@z-artblog
an amazing person and friend who has helped me out thru tough times as well they’ve helped with my ideas and so much more i could never thank them enough ha ha
they were also the devil in my rick and morty au mainly because they wanted to be anyway they are a close friend and another reason i am still here
their is also @animatedzorox
honestly i love chatting with them they are a great person to chat with they also gave me permssion to let dr. terminal kill and use their sans powers lol
but thats not why i am mentioning them they are an amazing person and it’s always good to chat with them about my aus and my work they can’t always be there but i do enjoy our chats
@justanotherpasafrisk
i... wasn’t always the best person at one point i lied about my age and did “smut” roleplays with people
i am not sure what i did with them but i did do one and once i came clean with my age they were angry i lost a friend and almost... almost......
but i lived on and at some point i acutlaly became friends with them again i changed my ways and never did thoes things again they forgave me and gave me a second chance
am i proud of my actions? no not at all it still gives me pain to this day
but i am glad someone like them could forgive me and i am glad they are friends with me!
@octocookies
they are a newer friend but i am glad they are there for me they are so kind and very lovely to chat with i am very glad we are friends and chatting with them always makes my day
@channydraws
they have been a friend for years i’ve known them for awail they are an amazing artist and friend
they have made so much for my au nightmare-story
cute art peices and all that they are amazing to chat with and always lovely to roleplay with when we do silly little things with our chararters
@fr-e-sh--h-otca-ts
golly gee gosh! how could i forget them? they are amazing they are a great friend and also an amazing music maker and artist!
they made dr. terminal gasters theme song along with the theme for my chararter papyrus from the last monster tale
sadly tumblr destoried both themes but they took their time to recover dr. terminals theme and that warms my heart
they are great to talk to and well i love helping them feel better when ever they are upset and they help me as well by just chatting with me
@the90sfreshestdude
honestly i’d be lost without them they helped me make the first ever FINSHED! dr. terminal gaster comic
dr. terminal gaster vs underfresh (shameless self promotion here)
anyway they are a great friend and without them i might have gaven up on making anything so i thank them!
how could i forgot @morronsoup
they’ve done alot for me we’ve had our fights in the past sure but we’ve been friends since the creation of forgotten tale heck they were the pixle artist for the game idea
they did alot but sadly nothing came of it... and i am upset by the that but i am glad me and them could still be friends and i still love all the art they made god it makes me feel so good to look at anything they’ve made
and i am glad we’ve been friends thruout these years!
@xxtc-96xx
another great friend i love to chat and share ideas with! they are one of the people who gave me permission to mess with their chararters even make a god horrfic scary as crap verion of their oc astell!
i haven’t done a dr. terminal vs endertale comic as of yet but it is planned!
but i thank them for everything and being such a fun person to talk to and a great friend.
this list could go on forever but i’ll end it here with the most important
everyone who follows all my blogs!
@everyone
you guys are amazing and all your support and kind words mean the world to me!
without you all i wouldn’t be here god i wish i could name you all but that would take a year! XD
but seriously thank you and i am glad i could enjoy another year with you guys!
remember to stay determined and thanks for being here.
my birthday will be great knowing i have amaizng friends like all of you behind me to support me!
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A “misogynist” is by definition someone who hates women. If Mon-El’s attempted dalliance with Eve, or his courtship of Kara is proof of anything, it’s that he definitely doesn’t hate women. Antis need to read a dictionary once and a while. Though I worry thinking too much might hurt themselves.
Well, misogyny is a wide definitions and incldes prejudice against women, social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification - so not only typical hate.
And yes, Mon-El said/did some questionable things. Aka “when woman wants to please a man on Daxam“ (or something like that) and the fact he had no problems with moving the copying machine with Eve (both in Mike the Intern ep) and the line “things was easier on Daxam when I objectified women and didn’t care“. But here we have few problems here.
Because after all, Mon-El is from a planet, where people behaved this way. And I write people, not men, because Daxam looks like a place when all of them where doing things like this. Do we have proves that women were treated only like sexual objects and exist only to please men? No. Why? Becasue after all, Rhea - a woman, was the most powerful person on that planet and held true power, not Lar Gand. Also teh lines “on Daxam we drugged themsleves to feel nothing“ and “the more the merrier“ for me don’t sound like an exclusive party only for people with dicks. It’s hard for me to believe that only men where objetifying women. Of course, maybe, the problem is we have no more data. Only few things Mon-el said.
Yes, his behavior was problematic in few cases. But during this 7 months (I think) he has spent on Earth he has learnt a lot. All he needed was a good examples. I know people say he should have known better blah, blah. But is it seriously so easy to understand you are wrong when everybody around you do the same things? For me what is ore important - that he realized he was wrong and worthless (as he said in the break up scene in s2) and admitted that. And changed so, so much.
And seriosly, when did he REALLY act like a mysogynist? When he had a made out session with Eve? I hate when people treat it like she was some innocent, clueless girl that didn’t know what she wanted, because fuck, she knew exactly what she wanted and it was moving copying machine with the new cute intern. You know what is mysogynistic? Bashing her for doing it. What else? Because he was jealous? Because he didn’t do what she asked him to? Because he was arguing with her? Because he was overprotective? Without context it may sound like that. But did he do all of this, because she was a woman or because she was Kara - the person he was in love with?
And lastly - look how many times he praised her, how many times he said how awesome she was, how she kicked Mxy and other idiots’ asses and how proud he was, how he has learnt to respect her decisions, how he tried to please her, how he walked away when she asked him without a word, how he was able to say how worthless he was, how he played the role of a housewife when she was dealing with criminals, how many times he gave her emotional suport and simply was there when she needed it, how he took her side and could admit he was wrong - like, mysogynists do stuff like that? Since when? Yes, he was a jerk and he didn’t have any idea how to treat women, but he has learnt. Keeping things he has done in the past and ignoring his development is like depriving humans of the ability of making mistakes and learning on them. And this is a base of whole fucking humanity.
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13 going on 30 Spider-Man AU
so I had this idea in my head for a while and just thought that this would be really cool to write about
And I’m really sorry. English is not my first language
if you haven’t watched this movie yet PLEASE WATCH (it’s my favorite don’t even get me started)
SPOILERS AHEAD // hope you like it <3
Ok, let’s start then (this starts in the 80s)
so you and Peter have been best friends since ever
started with you being next door neighbours and outcasts at school
Peter was this really skinny nerdy boy and you were awkard and really smart
you had this habit to share sweets (RAZZLES) and to greet each other in another languages
“Arrivederci”
“Au revoir”
your relationship was based on mutual trust and weird stuff that only you two understood
seriosly you could almost talk telepathically
Peter had this hobby to take pictures around and sometimes he even took them for the school paper and some of you
you have ever wanted to work on your favorite magazine (Poise) editorial and you have like all of their editions
the story really starts when you had the yearbook shoot in your 13th birthday and turns out B A D
but you don’t get too sad ‘cause Peter said that it looked good
“don’t worry Y/N, it can’t be worse than mine. I actually sneezed!”
six girls walks down the corridor like it was a catwalk and stops right in front of you
oops, forgot to tell you that Y/N really wanted to be popular and those girls used her for homework and projects
Peter knew about that and tried to warn you but guess what, you didn’t listen
the leader of their gang (Tom-Tom) usually approached you two to make fun of Peter and you used to follow her lead, laughing together
shitty habit i know
and on that they she told you that her group and your crush Flash Thompson wouldn’t come over to your party unless they finish their group project
so you say you would do it for them ‘cause you’re too naive to see bad in people
when you come home you start to get ready for your party, doing your makeup and picking a outfit that would fit better with the mean girls even putting some tissues on your top to look like you have boobs but nobody needs to know that
so while getting ready you read the last edition of Poise magazine and saw a story saying that the 30s are the best years of your life and claims that you want to be 30
“30, flirty and thriving.”
then you go down to your basement where the party would be held and put your jam on
I’m talking about Thriller ‘cause you know the whole choreography
when Peter arrived he just watched you dance because he is so fuCKING CUTE AND NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED
then he gives you the big box with a pink lace on top that is your present
“You know how you always wanted a Barbie Dream House? Well, I decided to make you your own Y/N Dream House”
you just stare to the big doll house that he built by himlsef and made just for you, showing all the rooms and faces from old pictures cut and glued to little dolls
then he sprinkles wishing dust all over the little roof and you close your eyes to make a wish by the time the doorbell rings
you began to panic and put the house away like it meant nothing and Peter just looks at you with his big doe eyes and feels his heart starting to break
the party starts and all of your guests are in the basement
Tom-Tom starts to be mean to Peter and you again follow her lead so he goes upstairs
then again, Tom-Tom comes into scene and suggests to play 7 minutes in heaven and says to you that Flash is dying to kiss you, but doesn’t closes the closet door before asking you where is her project and puts a blindfold in your eyes
Tom-Tom’s gang and Flash’s friends starts to leave the party and Tom-Tom finds Peter and says that you were waiting for him in the closet
so when he opens the door he sees you with a smile eye-to-eye and his world lights up
“I thought you weren’t gonna come”
he’s just so happy to hear that that he entrelaces your fingers together and leans in for a kiss, never making it because you called him “Flash”
it all goes downhill when you see that it’s Peter and everybody is gone and you started to blame him and locked yourself on the closet
you slides down the shelf where the Y/N Dream House is and starts to hit your head back, making the whole shelf move and some wishing dust to fall on you while you keep saying:
“I wanna be 30“
Here’s where the shit goes REALLY crazy
You wake up in a bed that isn’t yours and a flat that isn’t yours either
you find a mirror and sees that the reflection isn’t the same too
then you find a weird nude guy calling you sweetbun
you leave your flat in your pajamas after you saw his thingy and finds a blonde woman standing in front of a car and screaming at her phone and telling you to get in
so you starts to find out a lot of things about you and it comes to your mind that your wish was fulfilled. You are now 30 and were the editor of the Poise magazine, best friends with Tom-Tom (now you call her Lucy) and prom queen with Flash as prom king.
but then you starts to miss Peter and wonder where he is, so you ask your secretary to find him
when she does you leave the office and runs across the city to find his flat and knock on his door
“You’re not chinese”
you just stares at him and realizes that Peter isn’t a skinny nerdy guy. Now he’s tall and strong, with abs showing on his shirt and his wavy hair is now pulled back giving a whole new and hotter look.
then your panic comes back when he tells you that you’re not best friends anymore and you find yourself sitting in a bench while holding a fluffy pillow and drinking a glass of water
when you calm down you two go back to your apartment and you find your yearbook seeing the pictures of prom and Tom-Tom’s gang that you turned out to be their leader
“This is incredible, I can’t believe that I got everything I’ve ever wanted”
“Yeah Y/N, you got it all. Congratulations.”
You receive a call telling you about a Poise party at night and you invite Peter to come and he says that he’ll think about it
by the night you starts to get ready ala 80′s style and find thongs in your HUGE closet
“Can you tell I’m wearing underwear? ‘Cause I totally am”
when you get to the party you find Lucy and asks for a drink
“ I'll have a Pina Colada, not virgin. Wanna see my ID? Totally have it!”
then your boss comes to you and starts to panic about people starting to leave so you get an idea and go to the DJ
Thriller starts to play and you go to the middle of the dance floor, doing the choreography
starting to feel uncomfortable alone, you find Peter in the crowd and your heart skips a beat, your feet in a hurry to get him and making him dance with you
and literally everybody starts to dance too and your boss is so happy
but Peter says he need to leave and you hold hands for a second and your whole body heats up, having a weird sensation by the time he lefts
time passes and one night you’re outside a restaurant with Lucy and you see Peter walking by and ask what he’s doing there
then a beautiful ginger girl appears on his side and he introduces her as his fiancée, Mary Jane
your heart breaks a little and you feel numb for a second
you come back to your reality when the naked guy appears on your side and started to talk to Peter and his fiancée
Peter then leave and Lucy tells you to go to the naked guy’s (Alex’s) flat to play games
when you get there you suggests battleship and he starts to kiss your ear and you don’t know what to do while he keeps flirting
then he starts to striptease and do a weird dance and you look away trying to hide your shame
“Put your penis away, I don’t want to see it again!”
as the days goes by you start to realize what an awful person you’ve become on this alternative universe. You found that you have been screwing your coworkers husband and things that you never knew you could do
feeling bad, you go to Peter’s apartment and ask him if he wanted to go for a walk
you start to talk about the future and his wedding plans
then curiosity strikes you and you finally ask him about what happened to your friendship
you watch the pain in his eyes while he tells you about your 13th party
he says that you threw the Y/N Dream House that he spent 3 weeks building at him and never talked to him again
you feel awful
you became a monster after all
after that night you crash into your parents house and locks yourself in the same closet from your birthday party and realizes that the Y/N Dream House isn’t there
so you hit your head purposely on the same shelf and your parents find you in there
the morning after your mother makes you pancakes with blueberry eyes
“If you were given one do over anything in your life what would it be?”
“Nothing”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“But did you ever make a big mistake... a huge one that could change your life... what about that?”
“Well, Y/N, I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes but I don’t regret any of them”
“How come?”
“Because If I haven’t had make them I wouldn’t have learned how to do things right.”
going through the pages of your yearbook you see that Peter was the one who took the pictures and a huge idea comes into your mind
you hire Peter to do a photoshoot with people recreating those pictures and have lots of fun while doing that
he can’t take his eyes off of you and his hearts melts a little whenever you laugh
you even dance together under the fake snow while doing the winter dance shoot
he even gives you a white peony while doing the class of 2004
later that day you two started to talk about the past and you two get Razzles and go for a walk
“Hey Peter, tell me something. What color is my tongue?”
“Is red, I don’t know... red?”
“Red red or Razzles red?”
then you two started to compete who would go higher on a swingset
it was beautiful ‘till you two fell
and it was beautiful again when you landed on his chest and his hand started to caress your bare sholder sending you chills on your spine
“Hey, you got arm hair”
“Never got quite that reaction before.”
then you two started to smile at each other like the two dorks you were in the past and he leans in to kiss you
it was magical, every second of it. You just wished you could stay like that forever
when the day of the presentations came, you were super nervous to show your ideas ‘cause you were afraid about the opinions
so Lucy presents first and it wasn’t very well
and when you present your project, everybody go crazy about it and loving the idea of the class of 2004
but Lucy wasn’t very happy and goes to your office to find out that you were the one that was selling Poise ideas to Sparkle, the rival magazine
Peter goes to your office to talk to you and finds Lucy, who said to him that you changed your mind about his pictures and hired someone more professional
so you decided to go to his apartment to tell him that everybody loved his photos and you find Mary Jane wearing one of his shirts
the special one that he was wearing when they kissed on the playground
and she tells you that she will tell him when he gets back from picking up his tux and that they’re getting married on the next day
your heart completly breaks
the next day when you go to work you find out the whole floor empty and everybody packing from their offices
your boss tells you that Sparkle published your story and you find out that Lucy did it and she throws in your face all of the bad things you have done and how you sold all of the Poise stories to Sparkle
feeling worse than ever you decided to go to Peter’s wedding and calls a cab
later on you find out that the cab driver is actually Flash Thompson and just jumps out of it running like crazy
when you arrived at Peter’s yard you entered the house and ran to his old room, finding he knotting his tie while looking at the window
he looks at you and you can swear you saw a sparkle in his eyes
and you did
so you tried to tell him that Lucy was talking about a person that wasn’t you anymore
“It doesn’t matter what Lucy said. I stopped trusting her after she stole my poprocks on the third grade.”
you can’t help but smile at him and his dorkness
“Peter, I have to believe that if you knew that... if in your heart you really really knew that, you wouldn’t be getting married to someone right now, unless that someone were me”
he doesn’t look at you and you begin to panic already regretting but feeling like going on.
you started to miss his eyes and every blink looks like an eternity
“Y/N, I’m not gonna lie to you... I’ve felt things this past weeks that I didn’t know that I could feel anymore.”
you feel a smile forming on your lips but disappearing right after he completes his sentence.
“But I’ve realized in this past few days... you can’t just turn back time”
when you question him about it, he said that he’d moved on and you had too. And when he mentions Mary Jane you think about how good she is to him and can’t feel comfortable about the view of him wearing that tux and being ready to say “yes”
so you started to cry
then he opens his closet and you see the Y/N Dream House, feeling a knot involving all of your internal organs and or fingers start to tremble
you cry even more
it still have the wishing dust all over the plastic roof and you feel your heart warms at the thought of him putting it all over
he gives it to you and you hold the dream house in your arms, trying to feel it like one of his hugs and smile at him
“I’ll be fine, go on! I’m just crying because I’m happy... I-I want you to be so so happy”
talking a deep breath, your voice starts to shake while he gives you a sad smile
“I love you, Peter. You’re my best friend”.
when you put your hand on the doorknob he took an audible deep breath
“Y/N, I’ve always loved you”
and your mind lingers on the word “loved”
he loved you, but now he loves Mary Jane
so you go down the stairs and sit in the front yard, still holding the Y/N Dream House
the wedding music started playing and every melody sounded lower than your heart breaking a little more while your chest felt so heavy that it could send you to the ground in a blink
you started to play with the objects in the little rooms on the doll house and the wind started to blow against your face
you didn’t even care, your mind was only focused on how you wanted to be with Peter
and suddently there was wishing dust all over the ar, flying around you as your eyes were closed, trying to fight against the tears
you started to hear a song that wasn’t a wedding song and tried to open your eyes, being stopped by a blindfold
as you took it off, you saw that you were back again in that closet in your 13th birthday party and a warm feeling was all over you
Peter opened the closet door and you attacked him with a hug and kissed him
on his lips!
“Wow, you really know what you’re doing!”
you smiled at him and grabbed his hand, leading him upstairs and found Tom-Tom in the middle of it
you saw the group project that you did by yourself in her hands and ripped it appart, smirking at her and running again
“C’mon Peter, we’re gonna be late!”
“For what?”
“You’ll see!”
as the years passed, you and Peter only grew stronger and loving each other even more
the wedding music was now played for you two while you walked down the aisle and find his marvelous smile waiting for you
soon you two moved to a brand new house
Y/N and Peter Dream House
#peter parker x reader#peter parker#tom holland x reader#marvel#imagine#headcanon#13 going on 30#au#Avengers#bucky barnes#winter soldier#iron man#tony stark#fluff#romance#brazilian#writing#bad english#so sorry#captain america#i had fun#sure why not#avengers imagine#spiderman oneshot#Spider Man: Homecoming#spidey#spiderman#mary jane
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Alright, so a couple of months ago, last year, I wrote a whole bunch of suicide notes. I wrote more than one because there were many many things I had to say to the people that I loved.
I ended up writing 7 letters. One of them was for everyone to read. Now, at the time, I had done my thorough research about all kinds of methods to kill yourself. I knew how the process worked, I knew what to do and how to do it. I don’t remember writing the letters with any specific plan in my mind. But when I had them done, there was this weird feeling of relief. I felt prepared.
Just in case, I told myself.
And then I remember waking up one day and crying. Just crying. I didn’t want to move. And the letters were there. I knew the letters were already there. So I got out of bed, grabbed a razor blade and filled the bath tub. Now, I guess it was all a lot less serious than it sounds. Because nothing really happened. I sliced up a good 5mm of my inner arm (not my wrist) to practice the pressure I had to put on my skin. Now, I had cut myself before but I had never cut that deep. And then it just hit me. It scared me how easy it was to cut that deep. How I hadn’t thought twice.
So I just started bawling and I couldn’t move again. Luckily, my roomate was home and we don’t have a lock on our bathroom door. He found me, helped me out of the bathtub and helped me get dressed and all. He didn’t take me to hospital because I said I didn’t want to go (I had classes that day and I didn’t want to miss those).
I didn’t go to hospital until later that night but it was too late to get stitches, so the doctor stapled the wound. I told him I did it myself but he didn’t even ask me if I was okay or if I wanted to talk to a psychologist.
After that, absolutely nothing happened for a while. I felt too ashamed to tell most people, because, in the end, I didn’t even seriosly hurt myself. I didn’t even cut open one single wrist.
I was already on the waiting list for a therapist at that time as well. But I was so tired of waiting. And I felt like I had missed my chance of getting professional help. I think I ended up calling the therapist I was waiting for in the end and I told them that things had gotten worse. I got a spot a few weeks later. Things got a little mixed up, though, and I was supposed to be kept in a mental institution for a few weeks after Christmas. Friends and family encouraged me to go but I was feeling incredibly uneasy about it.
All of that happened towards the end of last year.
This year...was very different. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now. I cannot remember the last time I have been this happy. I don’t think I have ever been surrounded by so many people who are kind and compassionate and so full of love that I tear up just thinking about them. I still meet new people all the time. I have a new job that I love. For the first time in years, I can picture a future for myself. Even when things are going bad, I do not fall into depression. I have learned how to deal with my mental illness and its worst sides.
In the beginning, I still held on to the suicide notes that I had written. I guess, it was some kind of comfort, still. Originally, I was going to burn them the day I started therapy. But I found that I wasn’t ready yet.
I soon forgot about them. I only recently found them again.
This year is ending. Globally, it has been a very bad year, yes. But personally, it’s been one of the best ones I’ve had. I do not need those suicide notes anymore.
Look, I’m a cheesy person. And I’d like to publish the letter I wrote to all (translated from German into English).
And I’d like to burn it tonight.
I am not sure about the personal letters yet. They are letters of love to people that I love. I was going to read or write those letters to the respective people but I feel like this might be too tough on them and myself. Either way, they will be destroyed throughout the course of the next year as well.
I’m just a big fan of symbols and rituals. And burning these letters rather than just tossing them into the trash...it feels so much better and more empowering, I don’t know.
I am sorry
I tried so hard
I really tried
I don’t know why I refused the help that people offered me. I guess, I really just wanted to save myself first. But then I couldn’t do that either.
You did everything you could. Thank you for that.
I wish there was a reason. Maybe a whole bunch of reasons that I could just start listing off at this point. (You know how much I love a well organised list)
But the truth is, that I am just tired. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I just don’t believe that there is anything out there in the world that I want to do or can do.
The people around me are growing up. They are moving past me as they are moving on. They’ll marry their long-term partner and they’ll have children.
I lived in Ireland for two years and I thought that time would stop while I was there. But time didn’t stop. It was me who stopped moving.
Now I am a mediocre student and I am preparing for a job that I simply won’t be ready for.
I won’t get married, I won’t have a proper relationship. And it’s my own fault for being unable to be in love or have sex. I won’t even have children of my own because I won’t be able to raise them on my own.
I will never write a book.
There is nothing left for me to do here.
I cannot live my life doing nothing.
I am terrified of being left alone. I am terrified that I will one day choose a socially acceptable life over a life that would make me happy, simply because I am too afraid to be happy at all.
I want to end my life before the decision is not mine to make anymore.
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so i watched Last Jedi on thursday...
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR THE LAST JEDI UNER THE CUT
overall thoughts is that i liked it a lot! i liked it more than tfa, and i liked tfa just fine.
stuff i liked:
- i liked luke. just in general, he was very good. and vey good job, mark hamil.
- that lady admiral was great. i love her, she's awesome. i suck for forgetting her name.
- i like leia, she was good. though i spent the entire movie waiting for her death and the inevitable waterworks that would ensue, but alas, she didn’t die! well played, i guess? can’t stop thinking they shot themselves in the foot with that one, really. is episode nine going to open with someone saying “oh, yeah, it was super sad when leia died offscreen two weeks ago right guys?”
- yoda was good too. i liked that they made him a muppet again. good movie for old people this was.
- i liked that poe learned his lesson. i also liked what the lesson was, very good. thinking back on it his stuff felt very passing the torch (re leading the rebellion)? i’m okay with that
- i liked the salt planet, it looked cool.
- i liked admiral holdo's (there's the name!) suicide jump to destgroy snoke's ship, best shot of the movie hands down, got a big cheer from the audience.
- liked the stuff with rey and kylo a lot actually, and i say this as someone that does not care for the ship, i really hope they don't make it romantic, but damn, their stuff was so good i have hope in the writing.
- i liked the backstory about luke and kylo too! good stuff.
- i enjoyed beloved supreme leader kylo more than i thought i would. it was very good how impatient and unbalanced he was by the end and how he kept making very stupid choices.
- it was funny how luke did the final battle via skype. i actually liked this a lot, love me some jedi masters doing impressive stuff with the force that's more creative than shove or slam. the only sorta gripe i have with this is the bait and switch they did with luke's death took me out of the moment, i was so ready for the ben kenobi parallel when luke turned the lightsaber off and made the wise master accepting death pose that it was genuenly shocking when it didn't happen, only for luke to die anyway a few minutes later. and don't get me wrong here, i think luke's last moments were done really really well, i just didn’t feel i was as into it as i could have been. i don't know how they could go about fixing this, or even if anybody else got this problem. oh well, much like scenes with leia, i think i will enjoy this better on a rewatch.
things i didn't like so much:
-i think some of the stuff at the end could have used a bit more subltely. like the sad little slave orphans, that was too much, and for the last shot of the movie, too. yes, i get it, the point is that there is people in the galaxy that still need and will fight for the rebellion but! the sad orphans were a bit much!
ditto for rey and leia talking about luke dying. i think in this instance more is less, the look they exchanged was enough, it got everything it needed to get across. yes, rey, we just saw luke vanish in front of a beautifull sunset, we know he died in peace, you don’t need to make a speech about it. even if you absolutely need them to spell it out, i think minimal dialogue would have been better. rey: “luke is dead.” leia: “i know.” here is were you want to get the point across through acting rather than dialogue! and this two actors in particular have the emotional chops to spare to convey “i force-felt luke dying in peace” without having to speak a word, see: the look they exchanged five seconds prior.
- i really don't like what they did with finn. basically relegated to comic relief and inconsecuential to the narrative. seriously, the only thing that impacted the plot that resulted from his actions was that benicio del toro got captured by the first order and sold them the rebel transports. good job hero indeed. and what even was his character arc?? he starts selfish and ends self-sacrifincing? he ended tfa facing kylo ren alone to protect a friend, that’s not selfish by any measure. i guess it would be more accurate to say he begins interested only in himself and rey (”i’m not a hero”, tries to sneak out with the thingy that will call rey back) and ends loyal to the rebellion (listens to rose’s story, asserts his rebel-nes to phasma, attempts suicide run on the cannon) thats... i guess that’s a little bit better, though i’m not trilled about it either. the writers room needed to stack up on coffee and put a lot more hours on finn’s subplot (and tying that to the plot-plot) because that was not good enough! he's supposed to be one of the main characters of the trilogy, he deserves better!
i did like his showdown with phasma (finally getting some good use of that gwendoline christine! not an ounce of sarcasm here, phasma had little time on screen but they made fantastic use of every minute, she came off as just the right measure of threatening and imposing, esp from finn and rose’s perspective), in isolation, it was a great moment. but it really needed to come after a movie where finn got to tell his sad backstory, and face his demons, like rey got to do.
writing this actually made me realize what the writer’s intentions for finn were in this movie, and it’s not as bad as i previously thoguht, but the execution of this subplot was substandard. it is not baseless to have finn not be completely on board with the rebellion at the begining, he did have some moments of protest in tfa about getting dragged into rebel’s affairs, he was finn the stormtrooper deserter, who wanted to stay with ray and be left alone, and you know what, fair enoguh, he was abducted and trained as a child soldier! his only ties to the rebellion is his relationship with rey and poe, and actually, having a movie dedicated to his journey from that to rebel scum/hero of the rebellion is actually a good direction for his character, but, seriosly, all this is begging for far better writing.
- while i think in concept the character of rose is fine, and maybe a good contrast for finn, if all i just wrote is true and not just the first draft of a very bitter fanfiction, i feel like the inclusion of her character came at the expanse of finn. like her jaded and cynical survivor to finn’s... childlike wonder at shiny stuff? that made finn look spoiled and sheltered. he wasn’t. he was a child soldier. this is what i meant when i said the writing wasn’t very good. little things like this, they add up. like rose telling her sad backstory and finn just staying quiet. you know he has one of those too, right? the whole child soldier thing? that was a good moment to share, tell us how he feels about it, about the first order, about animal cruelty? something!
yeah, finn’s treatment is my only real problem with this movie.
oh wait. that kiss sure as fuck came out of nowhere. i don’t buy that rose fell in love with finn. finn’s reaction was bewilderment and nothing else. i do believe they developed a strong friendship over the course of the movie, but love? footage not found. also, hilariously, we do have an actual timer on how long it’s been since they met, it’s hours. disney, ammirite?
that’s mostly nitpicking about the kiss, but boy oh boy if it didn’t leave the nastiest impression that it was shoehorned in to remove finn as a possible love interest for rey. I WONDER WHY GEE! I WONDER IF THE REASON COULD BE A WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER R
also if it was made so to make room for reylo i am going to throw the shittiest of fits, you just whatch me.
#star wars#star wars meta#the last jedi#the last jedi spoilers#tljspoilers#it's just me talking about the last jedi#spoiler: i really liked it
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First of all. It always takes me like two minutes on my pc to find the ask button because i click on the chat one like three times like it does on the mobile app. Second of all, I saw you wanting someone to watch star wars with and i would have loved that because seriosly. Oh and before I froget, because I had nothing better to do at work than to think about your blog apparently, so I was thinking about the witces, why can they only fall for humans and other witches and not also demons? You(1/2)
i just don’t think they’re compatible with demons. sure they could be friends, i suppose. but they’re better with somebody like them, or a blank canvas human.
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08/07/19
Hi,
Oh shoot, I only have half an hour to write.
Then again, time zones are different. Somewhere else, it’s already tomorrow. In another place I still have a few hours.
It’s not that bad.
Today, I went to the gym. Tomorrow, I’m going again and that feels amazing. I just want to be back on track. I also got a new manicure today and it is beautiful. Seriosly, I haven’t liked my nails so much in a very long time. I do have my natural nails, painted purple, with a sunset ombre on one of them. My dad has already commented that they are really long and I know he doesn’t really like them, but whatever, they are mine.
Apart from that, I actually got to eat really good lunch (dinner?) and talked to my besties on the phone. Definitely needed that. I ranted about my feelings a bit, although talking about my crush was making me slightly uncomfortable and I didn’t say quite as much as I should have. Then again, I covered all the other topics that needed to be covered, so that’s sort of okay.
I did nap a lot today too, so I’m probably going to stay up a bit later. I’m planning to play some The Sims 2, as I’m really enjoying the game right now. I do want to read the biology topic to the end, as I’ve started it a few hours ago. I’m somehow completing my daily tasks, never all of them unfortunately, but I do get the majority of them going. I’m really proud of that.
So, the meeting is in two days. Amazing. I really can’t wait. Literally two of my crushes are going to be there and my old, third crush.
For explanation purposes, I’m going to give them nicknames.
Crush 1, my first crush, will be called Gold. I started crushing on Gold in March last year, but it was very uneventful as he’s completely different than me in the worst way, can be very arrogant, fricked up all his relationships with girls - both friends and girlfriends and overall is liked, but as a friend/colleague, definitely not closer. I have really worked hard to stop caring about him so much and his latest actions did help me with that tremendously. It pains me a lot though.
My second crush will be called Silver. Silver was my crush in December two years ago, but it passed quickly. I did tell my friends about that though and the news got out a few months later. he got to know about that and although almost all our common friends wanted us to be together, it didn’t work out. Silver has some sort of problem he has to work out himself and until he does that, nothing can be sure. He did fuck up all his relationships with possible girlfriends too though. The fact that we have similar interests, balance each other nicely and love the same music is only making it all worse (harder).
My last crush will be called Black. Black is the person I’ve been talking about on this blog non-stop. Black is amazing, single and nice to me, but we are from two different worlds and I’m afraid we just don’t know how to be together. It’s like, we’re cute, even together, but we just can’t talk. I mean, talking in real life is relatively easy, but in the internet, jesus, it’s hard.
Gold, Silver and Black are close friends.
Kill me now.
Anyways, Gold definitely does not have feelings for me. Black is after a break-up, so I don’t think he’s thinking about anything new just now. Silver, on the other hand, had been talking to his friends about liking me more and more and just finding me to be full of warmth and loving. It made me die on the inside a little bit.
I don’t know how to feel and because of that, it’s like I don’t feel anything harder in particular. I’m actually quite comfortable with that.
I mean, I know the truth. Silver is hard. If I don’t make him swoon on our vacation, that we’re going on from July 21, then I probably will never be with him. Next school year will be really tough. But what can I say. Let’s just see how it goes.
The harder you chase, the more love will run.
Love not lovers by The Script and When I Watch The World Burn, All I Think About Is You by Bastille slowly playing in the background.
Today’s light I’m sending to Gold. He’s made some mistakes, as everyone does, but I just hope that he’ll get better. For his sake and for my own. I do hope that he will change for the better.
Love,
C
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Contestshipping Masterpost Part 12 and a half,12 and a whole, and 13 - Something I don’t know the name of, Odd Pokemon Out, and Spontanios Cumbuskin
The next episode is a Harley episode, but Bulbapedia says somthing about the ending in which May recives a letter and a rose from Drew (even though he was not seen in the episode) imforming her of another contest she can enter, so I'm thinking of skipping this one, and maybe the next one.
Also I'm mad at Bulbapedia for this incorrect entree on "odd pokemon out".
May is holding the rose and the letter she receives in the previous episode while on a boat. She apparently considers these two items as sentimental to her. As May already knows quite well what Drew means with the roses at this point in time now, her keeping and looking at Drew's romantic token that appeared in a prior episode is quite significant. However this is not necessarily a romantic hint, since there is a possibility that May is just taking "Drew's" entry in the next contest as a serious rivalry.
Bulbapedia your wrong. She still hasn't even thought about having a romantic relationship with drew and the following and past episodes show that she hasn't thought about it, and doesn't know what the roses mean. T.T
AND THEN WE HAVE SPONTANIOS CUMBUSKIN. this episode inspired me to make this masterpost so I'm just going to copy and paste, so it won't fit in as well as the past summaries I gave to episodes, which is why under each of the thinsg that I had said before I knew as much about contestshipping, I'll put a new comment, explaining what I think of it now.
MY BLUSHING CHART I SPENT A FULL HOUR ON THIS PLEASE OH PLEASE JUST READ IT
(or maybe it is an episode review that older me is reviewing? this is not a bluching chart)
0:00 (now me) and we begin the episode with no Drew, and May is happy. Great.
1:22 (now me) well I thought that you already knew
1:34 (now me) no he did not send that. and he just told you. Wait why am I tagging this?
1:40 Well that was quick...
(now me) well yes if you don't count the time that drew was off screen and the theme song, then it only took 30 or so seconds!
1:54 (now me) or you just followed May. Becuase you do that.
now me :skips team rocket:
2:49 (now me) DIIIEEEEEEE
3:00 (now me) Naw I'm fine
3:31 (now me) Munchlax: Well that rose isn't from Drew so it isn't for you! It's me me!
3:45 (now me) May did you forget that Drew has fangirls?
3:58 (now me) I'm pretty sure most of Drew's fangirls woul kill to see him in a swimsuit. Also artists whoa re drawing this give Drew a towl ebcuase they refuse to draw nipples.
4:03 Okay, this is was Drew normally thinks of people like this. They are fangirls and that is cool. He doesn't care that much, and really, she doesn't mean barely anything to him. Also, I'm not counting her blushings anymore, just saying.
(now me) I am though!
4:21 (now me) Drew is acting how most people react after I draw them art.
4:34 (now me) People ask why he is mean to May but nice to her. I already said this before but I guess I'll just copy and paste a post.
Everybody seems to misunderstand Drew’s character, thinking that he is trying to make may upset, but he really isn’t. Let me explain. Drew tries to make May want to learn more, For example, let’s take the episode where Drew was introduced. In that episode he was definitely watching her before they noticed him, so he had seen May training on the beach and decided to follow her, seeing that she could improve, and he knew how to improve. At the beginning Drew seems to be poking fun of how little ability she has, but this was actually so that she wanted to become better, and it works!
For example: Who What When Where Wynuat.
During the episode, they find Leechy berries, and because May didn’t know what they were, Drew tried mocking her of not knowing what they were so that she wanted to learn, and by the end of the episode… it worked!
Many of the things that May knows is because Drew taught her. May would be too stubborn to really just take advice, and here is another reason why he does it. In “Three Sides to Every Story” (an episode that I believe to be referencing Contestshipping) an Electikid is making fun of (a Pokemon I don’t know how to spell’s name but it is something like Merrow) Merrow and Piplup thinks that he is just being mean, but during the episode we find out that Electikid is attacking her because he has a crush on her. Brock says,
“Sometimes when a boy likes a girl, they will go out of their way to make fun of them”
This is why Drew makes fun of May. He likes her, and it seems to be a great way to teach her to be a better coordinator.
I have recently watched through a bit more of the episodes. At the first grand festival, Harley tells May to go through the entire Appeal round and then battling rounds with just silver wind. Drew knows that Harley is just trying to make may loose, and his first attempt to convince her not to do so was him just telling her it was a bad idea. He could’ve easily made fun of her for doing that and it would have definitely worked, but he decided not to and it didn’t work.
Drew was nice to briana becuase he didn't need to make fun of her in order for him to teach her, nor did he like her. He also didn't find her that interesting so he barley even tried to teach her during the episode. Now you know.
4:42 Drew you blushed at her bad pun. This is what happens when you like somebody. WHATS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO? T^T
(now me) finally! we have the 3rd nickname. We have Mr.Perfect, Mr.Know-it-all, and Mr.Rose! (also thank you roserade)
4:56 OKAY JUST. THIS IS SO OUT OF CONTEXT. JUST THIS LOOKS LIKE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF YOU HEARD TWO PEOPLE SAY THIS? JUST. OMG. WOW.
(me now) same reaction. It was so out of context, the writers just wanted to proove how canon it is.
5:09 (now me) Suuuuure he is Max. He also likes your sister.
5:16 I'm talking about this at the end, if you want to know why this is so important, read the rest and read the end.
(now me) older me you forgot to discuss this scene at the end. I guess I have to.
She's a noob.
There done.
okay but seriosly, nothing really needs to be said about this scene, there are a few others we need to mention later though.
5:53 Max was the best in this episode
:skips the part without may:
7:13 This has nothing to do with what I was saying buuuut... Wow this show sure does love to milk that Rocketshipping (James x Jessie) meme XDDDD
(me now) James: looks at what seems to be Jessie with hearts for eyes: GROOVE MIME.JR!
“GROOVE MIME JR!”
7:57 (me now) Drew say that to May so that she can learn... or can she hear you? nah.
8:12 (me now) You beleive in your crush.
9:23 (me now) sirkit evolves into Masqurain. Briana is obsessed.
11:02 (me now) Max why you askin?
11:22 Brock ships it.
(me now) yes he does. Mr.Flirt finally gets it.
11:40 And this scene. As I said, I will explain why it is so important at the end.
(me now) fine, I'll explain.
May has actually never thought about her and Drew being together before, right now she is finally considering it, but she had just started thinking baout it so we havn't notten that much development on it yet.
11:53 Blushing May. She has never thought about it. This is also what I will talk about at the end. this is about as important as the last one I will point out before explaining.
(me now) but I JUST explained.
12:07 You kicked Harley out rewrote the script and made it your own Jessie. Change the words but some of the meaning still lies in there that Harley would say.
:skips the battle:
15:00 (me now) Oh look she also has a vibrava that evolves into flygon. Are you seriosly telling me that she isn't obsessed?
17:19 (me now) Drew hopes that May will win becuase he likes her
19:00 This scene. I will make more time frames on it just pay attention.
(me now) No I will delete them off of this post so that I can.
19:14 (me now, the rest is me now) Teaching and crushing on May
19:25 And people got confused as to why is is nice to Briana
19:43 Ecxuse me Mr.Flirt?
19:47 This scene is so important.
Imma explain it right now
“I’m hoping to see you back here next year too May.” - Rhapsody in Drew in Advance Battle
“Hey May, just two more ribbons.” - Spontaneous Combusken in Battle Frontier.
May never forgot what Drew said after the Grad Fesival. She never forgot how kiindly he had said that to her. Right now she is blushing like "oh my god am I falling in love" blushing. She had been thinking about what Briana had said and hen Drew spoke to her again like this she was reminded of both what briana had said about them having feelings for eachother, and what'd happened after the grand fesival. She is legitimatly starting to fall in love with Drew.
Drew didn't forget what'd happened after the grand Fesivle either. He actually reminded her that she needed two mroe ribbons before the next grand festival, the one he was talking about when he had said "I'm hoping to see you here next year" (he ment another grand fesival not the hoen one)
Their first serios romantic moment was on the beach after the grad fesivle, and now we are here again with a completly new revelation on May's part. Instead of being mystified at Drew's sudden kinda words she is sitting their, legitimatly like a schoolgirl in love with her crush standing in front of her.
Compare the first scene from Advanced battle to this scene. There has been character development, and there will be more.
Actually to be completly honest no other ship in pokemon has even come close to being as canon as this. Not Pokeshipping, not irakishipping, and not even armorshipping where they actually kissed. Pokeshipping came close, but it was more of a joke to the show, and I did see them try on irakishipping but it still didn't come close to contestshipping. Also before all of you aurmorshippers say that it was canon, just compare which one was better written. armoreshipping was just serena having a cruch on ash. That is poor writing. Contestshipping through actually has aspects of real life relationships, and it developed so damn well. If they brought these two characters back, either they would have completly ruined Drew's complex personality and just make him a jerk, or lets say that they actually wrote him the way that he is. They would have needed contestshipping.
Okay that is all. the next episode is
#contestshipping#drew#may and drew#drew x may#pokemon drew#may x drew#May#pokemon may#masterpost#contestshipping masterpost
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Finished Deadfire last night, and I have some thoughts.
Overall, I enjoyed the game but due to game breaking and sequence breaking bugs, I rushed my playthrough and am having to wait for it all to be patched to truly enjoy the game as I want to. Minor spoilers ahead
I’m gonna go ahead and get the bad out of the way, and the bad is Bad. Most of the bugs are related to companion content, not core gameplay itself. But I play these games for the story, lore, and characters, so this made the experience pretty crummy for me. My running list is:
Eder had the wrong import save
Eder’s quest bugged where a NPC I had to talk to did not appear in any of the three arcs
Pallegina’s quest would not trigger
One of the NPC’s I had to talk with for Maia’s quest never triggered
Companion party banter activated during conversations with NPCs
Reputation with certain companions would not go up or down, barring me from forming a relationship or triggering their quest
Unique companion dialogue would trigger later in the game that it was supposed to. 25 hours in, 5 separate conversations triggered at the same time when I walked in a random inn
A LOT of dialogue options triggered during the end game, where you cannot talk with the companions, meaning I could not progress companion quests
NPC’s walking paths would glitch out and they would be stuck running into walls and become non interractable
So that sucked. Because Palle, Eder and Aloth are my favorites and I had issues with all three of them. I really, really wanted to romance Aloth, but I got no dialogue that was not plot specific. Nada. Despite managing to get one positive rep towards the end of my game. I was shocked when my night marked Eder started shit talking Eothas because I chose to restore his faith during my import save creation. And I might as well have not recruited Palle because she would not talk to me.
Like many, Tekehu jumped me within minutes of having him in my party. After initiating the romance with my handsome fish though, I did not unlock the rest of his romance dialogue until act 3 despite doing multiple quests for the Huana before that. Literally right after I recruited Palle her and Xoti got in a fight that I believe is supposed to trigger at negative one reputation. One of the people I need for Maia’s quest was literally never where he was supposed to be, and I tried everything because I love her and wanted to complete it.
All of this made my playthrough pretty lackluster. I am sincerely hoping a lot of this is fixed in the patch because I am not happy with companion content AT ALL. I really hope I got locked out of a lot, because it feels pretty shallow right now. Aloth’s personal quest especially was nothing compared to Poe, I was expecting more about how his character has grown over 5 years.
Now, on to the good! This bit is more spoilery
The one thing I wanted coming out of pillars one was more interactions with the gods. Now that we know that they are a lot closer to us than they like to admit, I wanted to see that humanity and personality. And they delivered! You get to interact with all of them! Magran and Berath unexpectedly became favorites of mine, I went from being indifferent to loving their writing (and I am lowkey gay for the pallid knight). And I love how Ondra is with Tekehu. Speaking of the godlikes, A+ job with that reveal. I always knew they existed for a reason, it was awesome to see the gods talk about them.
Speaking of godlikes, the reactivity to everything was so much better, and I loved it! I played as a moon godlike and the comments and reactions I got were great. The way they Incorporated your choices from pillars one was great too. If you encourage Kana to become an explorer, you get to run into him! Him and Maia are too precious.
The general plot was okay. I might enjoy it more when my game is debugged, but as it stands it felt very poorly paced and very thin. I know that’s how pillars does it, 10 to 15 hours of critical path and hundreds of hours of side content, but I would have like a bit more critical path content scattered in there. This game felt very much like it was geared towards setting up a sequel with how the ending played out. I wonder how that’s gonna go.
The graphics and visuals completely fucking blew me away. This game is GORGEOUS. The watercolor style illustrations especially got to me, and I am going to be arting up a storm in the next few months.
Combat was a lot easier for me to manage. Granted, I play every game on the easiest difficult, but I have some serious cognitive issues (like, needing brain surgery serious) and a physical disability that affects my hands. Pillars one was tough and I died. A lot. It was way easier for me to control the characters and actually understand the flow of combat in deadfire, which is awesome! I didn’t feel like I was drowning in endless feedback and notifications anymore.
Another thing I love about pillars in general is how accessible the game is for people who are hard of hearing or have other sound related issues like me. The game pausing when combat starts has saved my ass again and again because I didn’t hear the very subtle sound cues that enemies were nearby. The text matches the voice acting perfectly, there is no need to go hunting for the subtitles option because it is automatically there.
And, the companions. Despite my game being bugged to hell, I loved all the new companions. I got like zero content for anyone but Tekehu, which seriously sucked. So I don’t have a lot to say about them right now besides that all I want is for everyone to be happy and please fix my game so I can smooch everyone, thanks. Also, Obsidian, we want Rekke to be a full companion!!! Give him more content in the DLC, please.
That accidentally got really long oops. I’m going to come back and re visit my thoughts once everything (hopefully) gets fixed. I honestly kinda can’t believe I paid $50 for a game I can’t fully enjoy until it gets patched after launch. I loved the game, but I have to say having so many game breaking bugs seriosly sucks. If it weren’t for the discord and youtube my opinion would be very different, because they have been filling in the gaps for me.
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May 21st, 2017
Just to keep tabs on how I feel and because i have no notebook with me plus w/what happened today in my life. -I was NOT READY FOR THIS OK. I had workout clothes, a large oversized tshirt, unshaved legs, greasy looking hair, eyesbrows not done/filled. Nothing was okay. So I bumped into a high school crush of mine at a thriftstore (i would have rather have gone to a beach concert which was free but was tricked to go with family bc i thought i was gonna get my hair dyed for free), anyway yeah. Bumped into Cl. Backstory: First time I saw him in the hallway going to my volunteer/humanitarian thing after class on day, and everything went slow mo; then my heart just gushed with emotion. this was when I could feel and understand my young emotional heart. Anyway, we locked eyes when I first saw him and I knew I liekd hime from then on. Little effort was made in trying to talk to him. It was only stares/glares back and forth, like a game of cat and mouse and I liked it? Given I was the shy awkard little fetus thing in high school; which was for years ago (this moment of first liking him). We always talked with our eyes and I liked this a lot, but the lack of actual communication and me being so fucking scared, yeah. I talked to him via instagram complimenting his art enior year a week after I graduated and he said thanks, but that was that and I did this because I thought we weren't going to see eachother in the future. Small fucking world. I'm nearing the end of my 2nd year in college and he's finishing his first at a CC. He's always had that nice guy type of shadow to him and I found that great and really it cpatured me becuase Nice guys are kind of hard to find, especially if you're trying to hint at one without being thrown into the friendzone/rejected. Back to the story, so i was putting a chair away from the customers for my little brother (brndn) and i look up slowly, feeling a pair of eyes staring at me. I glance up in the direction and boom; our eyes lock and I remember the glance; it's oddly familiar. Oh shit. It's Cl. That fight or fight response kicks in and I flee. Literally. I walk so fast into an aisle of clothes I start to think of all the missed chances I had with him in school and ugh. So I go to the sports rack and start skimming through; of course someone walks into the aisle; stripped blue and white shirt. Him. So I glance slightly, turn the opposite way and walk away at a pace AGAIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME SERIOSLY. I walk to my mom telling her I want to leave pronto; my dad hasn't arrived yet so I need to wait for him to give me the car keys then I can properly flee into the safe haven that is his car. I panic a bit more, but manage to walk to the front of the store, sniffing the scented candles. I get into the next aisle with decorations/antiques. Oh boy. I look through some cool stuff and turn my head to the left; catching his eyes once more for the thIRD FUCKING TIME OMFG. Okay so, I freeze up and continue looking a the thing I have in my hand. He knows I know it's him at this point and I put it down o the shelf then look to see if he left which he did? I am PRETTY FUCKING SURE HE KNOWS I REMEMBER HIM. I let the chance, the third chance slip by me again. I go to my mom and call my dad; he arrives and I again flee the store this time and into the car where I wait for everyone to get in so we can leave the place. I see that he came with his mother. My thoughts: I overthink things OKAY SO SHH. I think this might be life throwing someone from my past at me in an attempt to build my self confidence and get me to feel like I can achieve what I couldn't before; being social and starting to talk to people. Hahah, I messed up AGAIN AND IM FUCKIGN 20 YEARS OLD. I feel like I failed myself with talking to him. If I couldn't talkt to Cl and he made me feel like I does in college, when will I ever get over that fear of ejection so I can begin talking to I? I don't know. I do know I should have talked to Cl though. I really should have. I didn't though and this is why in my justification: I looked horrible, I felt like if I had talked to him it wouldn't be the same DUH THOUGH, but as if my emotions would be false since I really can't feel happy about a lot of things. I was flushed with thoughts of him from the past; he really had that affect on me, I don't know. Even if it was a scrony high school stupid crush. What would I have said? Not too much, maybe the right things. We never met in high school, just seen eachother and probably knew each other enough to know who we were. I felt the emotions I did in the past when I saw him today; Raw and innocent. It was a nice feeling that lasted all throughout that one hour of 'fleeing', but I just. didn't do as much as I should have. I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM OKAY/ I really did; just so he could have met me better as a person and more outgoing now. But I didn't and this kills me. Not knowing the outcome of things. Being in mere 'maybe' with people. Knowing there could have been SOMETHING other than NOTHING. It really kills me.
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