only crazy people will be crazy about this clip (mind u this was 3 days after bedgate dropped)
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It's mostly not what it looks like:
They said she's very kind, so she may act.
He has friends, along feeling so lonely.
They look sweet, then again not.
She's smart and amazing, but want to die.
He's bullying, but just hurt.
They say they won't lie, but too late.
She said she'd try, but gave up.
He needs help, but can't even see it.
They say they love you, but don't.
She said you were friends, but she lied.
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Demons in my mind
Hurt, because I don’t know how comfort works
Thought of demons won’t shut up
Keep coming back and back
Pushing further and further
Convincing me
I am a horrible daughter
Person
Only thinking about myself
„Selfish you“ they say
„Hurting others by only thinking
talking
About yourself“
„Selfish me“ I start to think
„Only thinking
Talking
about me“
„I want other people to like me“
But I don’t want to force myself
My problems to them
They have anough of that themself
They don't need, don’t WANT mine too
„You are worth nothing in this world“
the demons say
„You talk to none
You don’t call your family
Your friends don’t call you.
Nobody cares if you disappear
Nobody will notice until it’s too late
Then you'll be gone
And no one will care“
Because I don’t know how to do
How to handle emotions
Don’t know what the hell is wrong with me
I want people to notice me
I am to scared being rejected
So I don’t try
Don’t hope
That there are people who like me
Because the demons, my own thoughts
Won’t let me.
So I look for the most dark and quiet corner
And cry silent all alone
So I won’t be a burden to the ones
I like.
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Unseen
I look at him, like words pierce parchment.
He doesn't.
While his hands glide on unseen parts of my body
I crave for his deep set eyes to ravage me.
I pick apart the blindfold.
My fingers traverse the distance between longing and reality
As they fumble between silken strands of jet black hair.
His hands guide me towards transience
And I oblige.
Afterall,
I belong to this solitude between us
Standing still like a fortress.
My body is a sullen replica of tales untold,
Waiting to be heard.
While he gauges the depth of all that's pure inside me
My demons peek into 'our' time - ungodly vessels of condescending anecdotes,
I sink into a deluge of neurotic euphemisms.
Of minutes past, present & future.
In robust displays of untethered strength, they force him into submission,
Till he can't bear to gaze upon my body any longer.
I whisper to myself-
Fraught with fear, bereft of prayers;
'I hope he keeps his eyes shut.
I hope I stay,
Unseen.'
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Und selbst in einem Moment, wo meine Welt zusammenbricht. Warst du da und hast mir ein lächeln ins Gesicht gezaubert.
Mit nur deiner Anwesenheit in einem Chat, hab ich mich nicht mehr allein gefühlt.
Du warst zur richtigen Zeit im richtigen chat! Danke dafür!🫶🏽🫂
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I remember when I was scared of monsters that lived under my bed, and I would get someone to check under the bed for monsters. The monster was never there, and I used to wonder where had it gone? Now I know, they live in my head, and they won't leave me alone
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I never believed in ghosts
but I know what it's like to be haunted
I lie awake in a house that doesn't feel like home
I lie awake feeling so unwanted
This bed, this body, no longer welcomes me
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