#dating profile
Photo
they went to match… they went to monster match 🎵
(inktober ‘22 project)
#Halloween#illustration#artists on tumblr#digital art#art#monsters#monster art#digital illustration#monster dating#dating profile#monster tinder#monster match#theartofmadeline#hehehe this is a fun one yall#im having a real good time#i have a shortlist#but if you have character requests let me hear em
638 notes
·
View notes
Text
Peep My Muse's Dating Profile
Send...
📷 to see their profile picture
✔️ for their list of likes
❌️ for their list of dislikes
🚹 for their physical description
➕️for the bio they've written
🔱 for three questions they've answered on their profile
✅️ for their list of requirements in a partner
🚫 for their list of absolutely nots
🚺 for any additional pictures on their profile
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
A/S/L: 45/Male/Afterlife
Name: James
Pronouns: Captain/Cap
Hobbies: War, also musical theatre
Occupation: What, where? The Germans are coming!?
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just had a really weird experience with a dating app and I don't know what's real anymore.
I matched with a cute girl earlier today, and we spent a couple hours talking about our shared interests in podcasts and history and weird niche topics nobody else cares about. It was nice, and I asked her if she wanted to get lunch sometime this week. She said she'd like that, but then immediately changed the subject to talk about her job instead of scheduling the date. I mean, that's not TOO weird, I figure she must have wanted to say no but didn't want to hurt my feelings. Whatever. No big deal. We keep talking.
She mentioned that she works as a medical scribe at a doctor's office, and I said that that sounds like a wizard's apprentice. She said that medicine is the intersection between science and magic. I replied with a throwaway joke that chemistry is just alchemy with a little flair, and then shit went off the rails because she sent me a link to a pornhub video titled "We came at the same Time - Sensual Side Fuck" and said "me when someone tells me they're an alchemist."
A cute girl sends me a literal porn link after dodging the question of whether she wanted to go on a date, so I'm confused as hell. I don't know if this is her way of flirting or what, so I replied "I'd be down to practice some alchemy if you're not busy." I regretted saying it immediately because I never talk to anyone like that, I was just blind sided by the porn and thought maybe she would think it was funny. Well, after a few minutes she says "did you just ask to fuck me?"
Okay, I'm going down in flames, I crossed a line, that alchemy "joke" was inappropriate and creepy and she's clearly not into it and she's probably gonna unmatch me and block me and report me or something. I'm still confused over the direction the conversation is going, but I decide it'd be better if I apologize and go on the defensive instead of doubling down like a jackass. I tell her "no, not really," I'm not soliciting a stranger for sex, I was just yes-anding. She sent a porn link. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to respond?
Another few minutes pass. I was 100% sure that when I reopened the app she would be gone, but no, she finally replied "I was hoping you were..."
What kind of mind game is this? Is she just looking for a hookup? Her profile specifically says she's not! I have no idea what's going on.
"Did you just ask to fuck me?" My honest answer would have been "yes, isn't that what you wanted?" but the thought of saying that to somebody makes me feel like a douchebag. Her tone with that question didn't sound flirty, it sounded accusatory, like she was outraged I had the audacity to ask for sex so soon. My social anxiety is going through the roof. Whoops, turns out she actually WAS flirting and DID want to have sex, and I've managed to waffle it and sound like an asshole no matter what I say. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
From my perspective:
Her: *posts meme about sex* (it's just a meme, nothing more. Don't read into it)
Me: *flirty memey response* (could go either way; I'm not outright saying I want to have sex with her, I'm just matching her energy. She memes about sex, I reply in kind because I thought it would be weirder go ignore it)
Her: oh my god, did you really just say that? Did you really think I wanted to have sex with you?
Me: I'm sorry, I overstepped
Her: mind games, dumbass! You don't know what I want, motherfucker!"
From her perspective:
Her: our conversation is going well, let me drop a big hint that I want to hook up
Me: picks up on the hint
Her: really?
Me: NO!
Her: oh... okay... nevermind...
So then I take a step back and try to see if there's any way whatsoever to salvage this dumpster fire of a conversation. I admit that I'm confused and ask her point blank if she wanted to have sex. I legitimately don't know if she was making a move or not, and I need her to know that I'm not the kind of guy who asks for sex as an opening move but I'm not opposed to it if she's the one bringing it up. There's no way to fix this. I failed at this interaction. I need to cut my losses, but somehow we keep talking.
She says, quote "I like making art and love. Sometimes at the same time, ya know?"
I say "do you want to make love?"
She says "we probably should."
I ask her if she'd like to get something to eat first, as was my initial date plan before the porn thing. Her response confused me even more. "I can't right now. I'm exhausted from traveling all weekend. I haven't eaten and feel like I'm gonna pass out." That reply doesn't make sense. It's Wednesday and she says she's too hungry to get dinner. That's when I noticed that her previous message ended with a period.
"We probably should," period. I scrolled back up through our conversation and realized that EVERY message she sent me ended with a period. Every single one! Oh, and some of them weren't even direct responses to anything I said, so now I'm 1000% convinced that she's a bot. I got tricked into talking for three hours with a bot, and I derailed the scam by rolling a nat 1 critical fail when it tried to sext me.
I ask "her" point blank when she wants to meet up, and it said "I need to eat first. Make food, not war, lol. Where are your top places to grab food?"
Bot. Almost certainly a bot.
My final reply, in the extraordinarily small off chance that she's not a bot, was to say it depends on my mood, before losting three or four of my go-to places.
"She" didn't unmatch, but she ghosted me. No reply.
Bot. Absolutely a bot. No doubt about it.
TLDR, I got catfished by a bot!
#dating app#bumble#tldr#tl;dr#catfish#bot#pornbot#sexbot#spambot#ai#I got played#i got played like a fiddle#dating profile#oh well#god dammit#long post#long#text#anecdote#my life#story of my life#social anxiety#anxiety#failure#crit fail
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hot and single women in uniform!
#women in uniform#collar and tie#smart women#on parade#uniform girl#pla#green tie#chinese military#hot asian girl#dating profile#woman in uniform
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dating Profiles for Emerald, Raven, Trifa, and Adam
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Confirmation:
Full moon weekend is black Friday on my dating profiles lol. People just become crazy enough to like me.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lovely 58 year old Susie chose this photo for her Tinder profile.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
We can only learn from him
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
What very-inappropriate-for-a-children's-cereal movie or television show Duo would you have as mascots for a cereal?
Which one would be trying to steal the cereal from the other, in a manner in consistent with their portrayals on the show or movie?
Bonus: what type of cereal is it.
Example: Barney is always trying to steal fruity pebbles from fred. Isn't that a little like Flanders trying to steal cereal from homer?
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
People who use phrases and words like “brutally honest”, “straight forward” and “blunt” on their profiles are assholes and won’t consider your feelings during a debate or argument.
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just poking a little fun at online dating and the unsolicited fish pic phenom. 😂
10/2022
#poetry#poets on tumblr#poem#poets corner#spilled ink#poems on tumblr#spilled thoughts#spilled words#writers#poetic#fishermen#fish#fishing#online#online dating#unsolicited#hook line and sinker#dating#dating problems#dating profile
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Please I beg you stop having pictures of you holding a fish as your dating profile picture, the only thing this is acceptable is if you’re holding a Coelacanth
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
WHAT
#bumble#dating#swipe left#tinder#why swipe left#hinge#dating fail#online dating#dating profile#dating prompts
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
My biggest fear is getting chopped in half and being conscious while my torso is dragged away from my legs, especially if my two halves are still attached by my guts, but that doesn't seem like an appropriate answer for a dating profile.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m not on any dating apps right now and haven’t been for the whole year (except Lex but I got one date from it when I wasn’t expecting to and also wasn’t even active on it except for follow queer community drama tbh).
So if I were to go back on them, what would my profile even say???
Like…
“Hi I’m a queer neurodivergent person which means that when you meet me, you’ll stereotype me as the “manic pixie dream girl” who is plus size with big boobs and completely disregard the following:
- I’m not a girl
- manic pixie dreaminess means I’m autistic so I will guess social cues with varying levels of accuracy, have meltdowns when I am uncomfortable with the uncertainty of things or because of sensory issues, and ultimately be a person you grow to dislike because I won’t be “the person you grew to love”
- I’m trans and gender fluid to be more specific - I can be very “masc” at times and you have to be ok with that if you wanna do things with me
- you’ll like my body initially but will be turned off by how “abled” I look while being disabled. Or maybe you just secretly like bigger bodies while not wanting to be seen in public with them. Maybe you don’t really like saggy boobs unless you can use them as a toy without regarding me as a person. Sometimes you won’t even believe that I’m disabled. Sometimes you’ll be so oblivious to the fact that I’ve gotten this far that when I do have disabling moments (mentally, physically, doesn’t matter), you’ll want to institutionalize me, control me, tell me that I shouldn’t do things alone, tell me that I don’t know how to behave in public, try to make decisions for me without my input, try to take care of me when you don’t even know how to take care of yourself, etc.
- that you just want to have fun and not a real relationship (whether it be serious or casual)
- that you will remove yourself from my life because you don’t think you can match up to my expectations without discussing explicitly what my expectations are
- I will call you out on your problematic behavior and I expect you to do the same for me
- you will see my hypersexuality and pigeonhole me into being used for nothing else… ultimately not caring about what turns me on, what makes me feel good, what would satisfy me
- you won’t value me a whole person because you’re projecting your insecurities onto me
- you will likely not be honest with me and you won’t understand that I need people to be brutally honest and explicit with me (even if it’s bad) BECAUSE I CANNOT READ BETWEEN THE LINES (it’s all guessing and intuition) BECAUSE I AM AUTISTIC
- so you’ll just be upset and you’ll also think I’m not worthy of actual courtship and respect because I’m not behaving the way you want (after all, even if you’re also queer, you grew up in a patriarchal world and aren’t questioning your internalized misogyny, ableism, and homophobia)
Anyway, I like to travel, read books, write, watch TV, go on long walks, swim (!!!), and eat/make food!
Really sapphic but also demisexual. I’m also ACAB but because of a lack of protective resources for autistic feminine people in this country and my own trauma, I have decided that I will call the cops on you if you hurt me (and I have a video camera at my door, and I have a blue belt in kung fu (had to stop because of knee issues but I can high kick you in the face or low kick you in the genitals any day)).
I love to serve but I also love flowers and feeling loved. If I’m burnt out, I can’t serve. I am not your personal calculator, fixer, or sex toy. I will trigger you by telling you what I think about you AND I’m super fun and laidback and just want to cuddle, smoke, and watch shows tbh.
Mwah!
Femboy out.”
#dating#dating profile#venting#healing#trauma#love#neurodivergence#queer#harm#self love#heartbreak#prose#trans
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
seomuralla
kath
nongbabe
Ramblings
justrandomayatolover
Yayato
silly-things-with-sage
Stilly Goth/scene Thingsss
zzbay
Things I Want to Share