#cause I am making myself so god damn sad with this
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// A snippet of the shanty I am currently writing for @piratekingbuggy under the cut
And god I make myself so sad with the whole thing
If you want one for your muse, like this post
In the golden age of the salty sea,
My friend and I, as close as could be,
Served our captain, our hearts did adore,
But fate had dark plans, as I'll tell you once more.
#look it's me! - ooc#mun talks#personal#I am sorry everyone#I needed to share this.#someone hold me#cause I am making myself so god damn sad with this#the story is more or less done#just need to get it in verse form and make sure it rhymes#just dont ask me for melodies#cause I got none
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Charles' crush
Charles x sainz!fem!reader
Summary: Y/N is Carlos's little sister who is like a ball of sunshine sweet to everyone one and Charles had a massive crush on her and always shy when she’s near and always runs away when she try’s to talk to him because he doesn’t want to make a fool out of him self. This makes her sad thinking he doesn’t like her and Daniel and max get angry cause they are bestfriends with her and give Charlie so hard time.
WARNINGS: no proof read
A/n: I don't even remember when I wrote this, I probably wrote it very badly, I will check and fix it later xoxo
"Oh my god look at her!” Charles screamed internally. He couldn't take his eyes off Y/N Sainz. As the girl walked through the paddock, smiling and greeting everyone, Charles watched her with admiration from where he stood. Seeing his gaze turn away, Max and Daniel next to him looked at each other and then at where Charles focused. When they saw Y/N approaching them, they smiled and waved. This girl was their close friend and they valued her.
Charles panicked when he saw Y/N smiling at him and approaching them. He spoke without turning to the people next to him: "She's coming here, why is she coming here, oh, what am I going to do, damn it?" Daniel frowned and looked at Charles, "What are you talking about? she is Y/N! She is always with us. This kid is starting to act weird." While Charles was holding his breath nervously, Max laughed at Daniel and at that moment, Y/N approached them "Hi guys, how are you?" She spread energy to the environment with all her joy and that beautiful smile.
Daniel and Max hugged you, this time you turned to Charles and looked at him, he was just looking at you and didn't do anything. So you just nodded to him "How are you Charles?" He said something like "I'm fine" you smiled and he stopped looking at you. Even though you felt bad , you didn't show it Charles mumbled something and quickly left your side. You folded my arms over my chest "I don't understand, he is so good and loving to everyone, what did I do to him? Why does he hate me?" Daniel and Max watched Charles leave "I don't think that you are the problem, come on Y/N everyone loves you" Max said patting her shoulder. While Daniel was still looking after Charles with one eyebrow raised, Max tried to be subtle and hit Daniel's arm. Daniel quickly looked at you and smiled. "yes y/n don't be ridiculous Charles gets distracted sometimes I'm sure it has nothing to do with you" you bit the inside of your cheek and looked at them.
"I don't know, it happens like this every time, he either snaps at me or walks away from me like this." You tried not to think too much, but you were feeling down. "Anyway, I have to go, you also have work to do, see you later, okay?" You left Max and Daniel and walked through the paddock to find your brother.
After you left, Daniel and Max went to Charles, he was sitting alone behind the ferrari horpurality, watching the ground. Daniel sat next to Charles. "What's the matter, buddy, why are you acting like that to Y/N? The girl thinks you hate her." Charles looked at Daniel in shock. "H-hate? Oh no no no no.I...I don't hate her. "How could anyone hate her? She's so kind, sweet and thoughtful, and her smile, my god, she always smells so good-" His cheeks turned red again when he thought about her. Max gently pushed Charles's head "dumbass. You like her but you make the girl sad. I thought you were smarter than that"
Charles rubbed his face nervously, "I didn't mean to upset her. She's just so nice and I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of her." Daniel put a hand on Charles' shoulder, "If you keep running away from her, you'll make her even more upset.At least chat with her a little.You should have seen her face when she said she thought you hated her. Don't hurt our girl man, she is the sweet little Y/N of all of us.Let's do it this way, come with us, she'll probably come back our side when she sees us, that way you won't be alone with her all the time and she'll know you don't hate her, come on." Charles found what Daniel said logical, but of course he didn't know that Daniel would not implement this plan.
Max, Daniel and Charles came towards where you were. You were sitting alone in the cafe. Max and Daniel quickly sat down. Charles remained standing. Daniel spoke quickly. "How hot is the weather. Charles, you were going to buy us drinks from the other side of the paddock. Right!" He said, pressing the word 'from the other side'. You looked at them incomprehensibly, this time Max spoke, "Well, he has two hands, how can he carry three drinks, look luckily YN's coffee is finished" you frowned cause it wasn't finished, "Come on YN, go get us drinks with Charles, we have some business with Daniel, we will be here anyway."
Even though Charles started to blush, this time he had nowhere to run. Y/N frowned but got up and walked next to Charles. Max and Daniel smiled slyly and waved after them as they walk away.Max took a sip of Y/N's unfinished coffee and turned to Daniel "Good job, man." Daniel laughed. "If he hurts that girl again, I'll kill Charles before her brother does." Max frowned "Does Carlos know?" Daniel looked at him as if to say 'Are you serious?' "Come on, it's obvious from a mile away that Charles likes her." Max shrugged and continued to watch the duo walk away with pleasure.
#violetszone#f1 imagine#f1 smut#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#violetszonerequest#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc angst#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc#f1 one shot#f1 fandom#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 oneshot#formula 1 fanfic#formula one fluff#formula one
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I was so stupid
Leah Williamson X Reader
⚠️ Warning ⚠️: part 2 of goodbye my lover. If you read it you know what I mean in case of not it's just pure angst. This seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel
Lucy POV
I woke up at 5 in the morning because I had to go to training at 8, I looked at my phone and realized that y/n had called me 3 times. I was quite worried because I was the only person (Ona too, but not at the same level of intensity) who had been with her in those difficult moments such as a divorce and the separation from her son. Little Sage who is such a sweetheart and Y/n too and now because of Leah's stubbornness they’re not together makes me quite angry.
I decide to call y/n back but she sends me to inbox, so weird. Yesterday I spoke to her and she told me that she was going through a bad time and that the pains in her chest had returned. Knowing that I am in Barcelona and she is in London makes me even more nervous because she could suffer a cardiac arrest and not have anyone to help her with it and now even less cause Leah apparently turned everyone against her. I don't understand.
Leah POV
*Beep beep beep*¨
Who in their right mind calls at 5 am on a Friday. “Hello” I said in a rather sleepy tone. Sage hadn't slept well, I felt him agitated. He always sleeps peacefully. “Hi Leah, I'm Lucy,” she tells me in a worried tone. “What's wrong Lucy? looks at the hours” I said calmly. “It's Y/N, I'm worried because she's been calling me in the early morning and I want to know how yesterday's conversation with her went?” she says worriedly. “Well, the talk has gone well, a bit of a farewell tone, but very normal. She also called me this morning too, although she seemed like drunk or drugged, her voice sounded very weird,” she says in a stern voice. “No Leah, how can you think that, she is doing those things that are on TV or in the gossip magazines. She is like this because the divorce and now you have left her without a job. Are you stupid or what?” Lucy says super angry. “Oi, calm down or I'll hang up on you, these are not the hours to argue, girl” I say calmly. “Leah, for God's sake, y/n could have suffered a cardiac arrest and you didn't even realize it, did your new girlfriend whitewash everything you felt for y/n? Have you realized how bad she has had it since she was kicked out of the club because of you and since it wasn't enough for you, you kicked her out of the house without even being able to take a jacket and her wallet, having to listen to her at 3 in the morning heartbroken because she doesn't know what she was going to do without you, you know that she has been living in a seedy hotel for 3 months since you kicked her out of the house? The sad nights when she misses her baby?…" Lucy says very seriously. "I'm sorry Lucy, I didn't know anything about that, I've been very selfish, but it all came down to me anyway, the absence, the times she ignored my presence and focused only on Sage, I've also missed her a lot, Lucy". I say in a worried tone. “Leah, I need you to go to The White Heart Hotel, which is 8 minutes from your house, ask the front desk for room 203 and make sure y/n is okay. Please". She says in a tone that I can't understand. "Okay, I’ll go now I’ll text you later" I say, worried but willing to collaborate.
"God y/n, I hope you're okay, damn it, why I didn’t pay you more attention, if something happens to you, I won't forgive myself" I say to myself.
Once I arrive at the hotel, which looks very seedy.
“Hello,” I ask at the reception, a little agitated. "Hello Miss. How can we help you,” the girl tells me without flinching. “Mmm yes, I'm coming to visit my friend y/n who is staying in room 203” I say nervously. “Miss Leah, I'm afraid that the guest Y/n was taken away by the ambulance a couple of hours ago, due to some cardiac incident, the poor girl was so young and had no one to help her at that time if not for the waiter who heard some noises, it's most likely that right now that girl was dead," the girl says sadly. "Excuse me? But she was fine yesterday when I saw her.” “Miss, I recommend you to go to the hospital where the ambulance took you and ask the corresponding questions there,” she says calmly. “Yes, of course, thank you very much anyway,” I say with a little emotion. “My poor y/n, how is this possible?” I sit in the car and tears come out of my eyes, I feel like the guiltiest person in the world. Instead of listening to her and being with her, the first thing I did is abandon her to her fate and if that's not enough, mess with someone who no matter how good person she is, is not y/n. The mother of my son, the love of my life. How stupid I am for God's sake.
Once at the entrance to the emergency room.
I get out of the car and look in the trunk for a facemask. “Damn, I had a box stored here” I say to myself, exasperated as I search through everything. “Here you are” I say, taking the mask under a pile of documents.
At reception
“Good morning miss, can I help you with something?” The nurse at the reception tells me. “Hey, a couple of hours ago an ambulance brought y/n Y/l/n here and I came to ask how she is” I say nervously. “Are you related to her?” she asks me, looking directly at the computer. “I'm her wife, Leah” I say, already stressed from so many questions. “I understand, at this moment, y/n is undergoing surgery due to a heart failure, if you wish you can wait in the coronary surgery waiting room on the 3rd floor and once the operation is finished a doctor will speak with you directly” she tells me. “Damn, well thanks, in the third one did you say?” I say worried. "Yeah".
It's been three hours since I've been here and the only thing that has changed is that a cardiologist has come to tell me that they are having complications with Y/N, and that her prognosis is reserved, that we have to wait and see how the surgery progresses.
Flashback
“Family of y/n y/l/n” a doctor comes out with a worried look. "Me, doctor, I am her wife, Leah Williamson" I say in a broken tone. “Well, Mrs. Leah, I will be very honest with you, at this moment we are performing a pericardiocentesis on Mrs. Y/n because after the cardiorespiratory arrest she suffered in the early hours of the morning we realized that she had cardiac clog, we have done this procedure several times because the patient keeps coming to a standstill and doesn´t come back. I would like you to notify her other relatives just in case. It should be said that the prognosis is reserved and her evolution will determine if the heart does not clog again, for now I will do everything in my power so that the lady does not die,” he says seriously. While he says that I try to process everything. There are possibilities that my love won’t make it and die, I must tell Lucia.
“Lucy, y/n she is dying, she has suffered several cardiac arrests since this morning and is in surgery she’s not recovering” I say between tears and sadness on the call. “Leah, don't be pessimistic. Ona and I will take the first flight there is to London, we will be with you” she says crying. I'm glad Lucy cares about y/n, they're like sisters from another mother. I settle into the chair and send a WhatsApp to Sophie.
To Sophie
Hey how are you? Sophie, did you leave Sage with my mother?
*Yes, as you told me. All good? *
No, something has happened, but first I must tell you that I can't take this anymore, you are a wonderful girl but I am not in the best place mentally. Sorry Sophie, it's better to leave things here.
*What a coward you are Leah, not telling me in person. Ok, I hope I never see you again*
A few hours later Dr. Flynn himself comes out.
“Leah, y/n she is out of surgery, her prognosis is still guarded but we believe she will make a successful recovery. What worried us most was that being so young and out of nowhere having these moments of trauma and even more so knowing that she has a healthy and fit life” he says less worried. “What exactly does she have? Will she be able to continue playing football? What will the recovery be like?” I said a mile an hour. “Miss, slow down please. Miss y/n will be in the coronary ICU for a while due to the sedation we gave her. What we watched in the echocardiogram, in the blood tests and the chest x-ray is an irregularity in her pericardium hence the surgery, but them also show cardiac arrhythmias which means that she won’t be able to practice any high impact sport, as Upon her recovery, her evolution will be marked by how her heart accepts the changes. Most likely, she will always have to carry oxygen and in the future we can consider the use of a pacemaker to help detect any irregularity. “I understand, can I see it?” I say a little more relaxed. “Of course, come with me here…”
To be continued
#woso#fc barcelona femeni#lionesses#woso x reader#woso imagines#woso imagine#england lionesses#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson
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Alright I'm gonna throw this out there write whatever the fuck you want.
I notice a lot of "Oh you never read a comic" or "that's not how so and so would act."
"It's Not realistic"
A little secret I would sure god damn hope it's not or else Superman/Batman really suck at their fucking jobs and need to fired.
Fanfiction especially write whatever the fuck you want and for all the oh well I'm sick of only having this option or whatever.
Go write something different you don't get to bitch about what other people are reading or writing.
As long as it doesn't hurt anyone whatever.
I might say oh I'm not a huge fan of this or that but at the end of the day I would read almost anything cause I love writing.
So write Tim drake as a sad peice of shit who needs a hug or only a happy go lucky Dick Grayson.
It's up to you have fun do whatever cause at the end of the day someone will love it.
Do what makes you happy no matter what anyone says.
It's literally FANFICTION the whole point is it's not canon compliant.
Have a good time don't listen to the haters ship your shit and read whatever have fun. 
*good explain of teaching and not being a dick look at my reblogs that's what you should be doing try to teach explain give a different perspective. Have constructive arguments not just inherent negativity.
*I was sleep deprived it was 4:00am I didn't explain myself well I am encouraging changing it reconizing the blatent sexism, racism and everything inbetween cause there is a lot. Giving people a voice through These characters.
But you can't change other people but you can educate.
My point was you gonna see things you disagree with or things you really love don't go out of your way to be a dick.
I shouldn't see a random headcannon and 50 comments that's wouldn't happen he's not like that.
Someone's gonna write Tim Drake as a annoying asshole whatever. Someone's gonna write Jason Todd as a peice of shit. A person is gonna completely butcher Damian. Someone is gonna forget Cass or Duke just don't be an asshole think explain have an once of kindess for people. They just want to enjoy stories so do you.
So write we have 50,000 Tim drake so let's write more for Cass. Shift our focus give more content remember someone put time and energy into that story don't shit on everything they have ever done but shift the narrative.
Don't complain add to the pot cause I know a lot of people would love to read whatever you have. I have multiple long fics that focus specifically on the female superheroes because I want to read more Oracle and far less Dick Grayson so I'm throwing my hat in the ring.
You should read comics I meant in the example of assuming people haven't.
Better?
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The Princess & The Playboy (Part 6)
Summary: Sam and Max's plan to get their siblings invited to a party may have worked but Sebastian Monroe is a dangerous man and they may have just put not only their lives but their families at risk too...
Masterlist
Pairing: NFL Quarterback!Dean x Pop Star!reader
Word Count: 5,400ish
Warnings: language, family trauma/angst, kidnapping
A/N: Uh oh...
_________
Two Weeks Later
Reader POV
“Damn,” said Dean, shaking out his arm after you’d tossed him a football in the backyard. “I’m going to need your arm workout and no, I am not joking.”
“Oh my god, did I tell you the dance choreographer wanted me to learn to do a handstand so I could sing, upside down? I shut that shit down so fast,” you said, Dean gently tossing the ball back to you.
“I’m sure you could do it. But I don’t blame you for not wanting to,” he said, catching the ball one handed. “Do you get a lot of say in that stuff? Dance moves?”
“That would require me to be able to dance,” you laughed, clasping both arms around the ball when he threw it back.
“She’s right. God awful dancer when it’s not choreographed. Miracle she can fake it as well as she does,” said Eric from the patio table, glancing up from his phone. “It’s four by the way.”
“Ugh. Why’d we say yes to this stupid party?” you asked. Dean shrugged.
“This guy donates a bunch of money to the Wolves charity every year. Plus Emma said it’s not a bad idea to go to a charity event together. Apparently it helps the public not think of me as such a scoundrel.” You tossed him the ball one last time, clasping your hands behind your back.
“I mean you are the big bad playboy corrupting the virtue of the sweet princess of pop,” you said, batting your eyes, twirling your hips. You grinned when he frowned, his eyes like a predator sizing up his prey. “I think the media is right about you. Such a bad influence.”
“Oh keep it up, princess, and I’ll tell them you ain’t innocent in the slightest.”
“Someone put me out of my misery,” groaned Eric, rising to his feet. “I’m getting dressed and going over protocols with the team. We’ll head out at seven.”
“Ain’t it kind of early to get ready?” asked Dean as you tossed him the ball one last time. Eric only laughed and headed inside, Dean cocking his head at you. “I know girls take a long time to get ready but three hours?”
“Shower. Shave. Makeup. Hair. Plus I told Sloane I’d help do her hair and pick out a dress,” you said, Dean humming. “I’m sure there’s a college game on you could watch for awhile.”
“I got some game film I can review,” he said, a heavy sigh in his shoulders. You wrapped your arms around him, Dean ditching the ball to return it. “It just never ends.”
“You love football, though,” you said, Dean nodding.
“I do. But every year it’s getting to be more and more. I know you understand the pressure of it all. I just…I’m tired. I want to have more of a life outside my job,” he said, sliding his hands down your arms, taking your hands in his. “Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” you said softly, Dean sharing the same sad smile you wore. “Me, I can have less tour dates and not put out an album every single year. I can make more wiggle room for myself. But I know you can’t. And sometimes I worry when I watch you play, pushing your body so hard.”
“I’m incredibly lucky I’m the least sacked QB in the league. I’ve had only one surgery and that was cause I broke my toe like an idiot on a coffee table. I don’t want to be like these guys that stay in too long and wind up with so much pain at forty. Or worse.”
“I guess the thing to ask yourself is, do you want to keep going? Or could you walk away and be satisfied?” you asked. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes.
“All I know is I used to put my head down, bury myself in the game. All I looked forward to was getting to the season, the start of a game, feeling that rush. This year…I’m looking forward to being done with work and games way too much. It’s like I’d rather be somewhere else…with someone else,” he murmured.
You nodded, squeezing his hands. “Nothing to decide today.”
“I know. Go get ready. I can occupy myself for a few hours.”
“Damn,” you said when it was nearly seven. Sloane looked down at herself alarmed, glancing back worried. “Sloane, you’re fucking hot.”
“I’m forty two,” she scoffed, smoothing out the floor length gown. “I’m not hot.”
“Hell yeah you are,” you said, Sloane tucking a strand of freshly curled hair behind her ear. “Eric’s going to fucking drool.”
“He better not,” she mumbled, taking a breath as she put her leg up on a chair and hiked the skirt portion up. She opened up her clutch sat on the end of the bed and slapped a very small thigh holster on her right leg, a smaller than usual gun inside.
“Right. Cause really hot women packing heat are total turn offs for him,” you said, adjusting the strap that ran across your shoulder. She pouted and you handed her the clutch. “You said you could work with him tonight. We’re only bringing two of you inside and we wanted our best.”
“I can. He’s good about not speaking about anything but strictly work lately,” she said, sitting on the bed. “Does he seem…different to you?”
You knew why she was asking. Eric had told you he needed a few hours a week off for therapy a few weeks back. You practically jumped for joy that he was going to get some help to work through some things. Then it all shattered when he said it was related to his dad and needing to address some stuff he did to him as a kid. He didn’t share more but you had a feeling that had as much impact on him as his days in the military, probably more.
“It’s hard to tell with him,” you said, trying to respect his privacy. Plus, it actually was difficult to see a difference. Eric held everything close to the chest. Sometimes too much.
“Yeah. There’ll be no issues working together this evening,” she said, forcing a smile. You wanted to offer some reassurance that he was trying and maybe someday things between them could change. But honestly, you had no clue if they would work things out.
“Good. Well, let’s go see the boys.” A moment later you were coming down the stairs, Dean and Eric wandering out from the front hall in their tuxedos. Eric had always looked handsome when he dressed up but Dean?
He was walking sin in the tailored outfit, showing off his large shoulders and trim waist. You could feel the heat in your cheeks when he stared like he wanted to devour you then and there.
“Wow,” said Dean, a growing smile on his face, eyeing you up and down. It was a fairly simple dress. Black. One shoulder and a thin strap on the other. Form fitting up top before it became loose at the hips. It probably didn’t match black tie standard one hundred percent but it’d been sitting in your closet for two years and you finally had an excuse to wear it.
“Wow yourself,” you said, tugging on the lapel of his jacket. “Put you in one of these and you’d never imagine you spend literally every single day in flannels, henleys, and black tees.”
“Strange considering I’ve seen you wearing those clothing items a lot more yourself lately,” he teased, grinning down like a cat staring at the mouse it’d cornered.
“Oh, just a coincidence,” you said, Eric clearing his throat. You rolled your eyes, getting a roll in return. “You look nice too, Eric. I know you need the compliment on your appearance or your ego will bust.”
“Why did I take this job,” he mumbled to himself, staring at Sloane as she walked ahead for the front door. “You look beautiful.”
Sloane stopped dead in her tracks, looking over her shoulder at him, his gaze shooting to you.
“I know you’ve wanted to wear that dress for awhile,” he said to you, Sloane rolling her eyes and walking outside. Eric closed his eyes when she was gone, Dean slapping his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, buddy. I’m sure my hyper observant protection agent didn’t catch the way you said that straight to her face and then pretended to say it to your boss.” Eric shrugged him off and grumbled on his way outside, harshly pulling the door behind him. “Damn. I was hoping they’d have some kind of fairytale moment or shit. He looked like he wanted to fuck her over the kitchen table.”
“I don’t know. We’ll just…wait and see what happens,” you said, holding out your hand. “Ready to go?”
“One sec,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out. He slipped something elastic over your wrist, beaming when you stared down at it to find it was a friendship bracelet, like the kind from when you were kids. This one was black, gray and white, the LA Wolves colors. You turned it over when you felt a few square beads, expecting to see DEAN.
Your heart skipped when you saw MAX with a few beads separating it from SAM. You glanced up Dean, his green eyes flittering down to where he’d removed his jacket, right sleeve pushed up.
Dean had always had Sam’s initials tattooed on his forearm. You remember that happened at some point in college, not too long after Sam went missing. The initials right below it were new though, his skin tinged a light pink from where the tattoo was still fresh.
“Is that-”
“Max’s initials? Yeah, looks like it,” he said, a coy smile crossing his face. You held out a finger, Dean humming it was alright to touch. A thick swallow was audible as you traced over the delicate skin, black ink soaked into the creamy canvas of his body.
“Fuck you,” you whispered, Dean’s face falling.
“Sweetheart, I’m-” he said as he wiped at your eyes, mascara coming away on the back of your hand. You laughed, shaking your head at him.
“Look what you did you sweet man,” you laughed, a few tears falling free. “Dean, you didn’t have to put his name on your body.”
“Brothers go on the arm. It’s kind of my thing,” he said, your bottom lip wobbling as a swell of emotion hit you. “Are you mad?”
“No,” you croaked out, squeezing your bracelet. “I wish they were with us.”
“Me too,” he said softly, wiping his thumb under your eye, stopping a tear from falling. “Y/N.”
You met his green eyes, thumb stroking your cheek with a barely there touch.
“You understand you’re my girl, right?” You nodded, Dean’s head tilting slightly, eyes scanning down to your lips slowly and back up just as lazily. “So. Am I yours?”
You held a finger to his lips and turned towards the front door, pulling it open, Eric and Sloane both leaned against an SUV.
“We’ll leave in thirty,” you said, pulling the door shut again, finding Dean with a raised eyebrow. “I need ten to fix my makeup. The other twenty is to show you exactly how much you’re mine.”
Dean POV
I stepped outside while Y/N used the bathroom, the brisk air doing wonders for cooling me down after what I could only describe as the most intimate handjob I’d ever received. It was the one thing that stuck out to me about sex with Y/N. Every other partner I’d had, it was about release, pleasure. With Y/N though, it felt different. A good different. Yeah, it was about the pleasure there too but it was…comforting in a way, joined together.
Once Y/N had let go of her fear of it, intimacy turned out to be one of her favorite things in the world. And it was becoming one of mine too. She just made me feel safe. Whole again.
“Told you she’d cry about the tattoo,” mumbled Eric in my ear, hands clasped behind his back. “Surprised you didn’t get down on one knee yet.”
“We understand what we are to each other,” I said, adjusting the sleeve of my jacket. “The time for that’ll come eventually but I don’t think either one of us is in a rush to get there.”
“Ready!” exclaimed Y/N, rushing outside barefoot, the skirt of her dress bunched up in one hand, heels in the other. “How late are we?”
“Oh, only forty five minutes,” said Eric, Y/N jumping in the backseat when he opened the door. “Clutch?”
“I’m the purse tonight,” I chuckled, patting my pocket where her phone, a lipstick and extra hair tie resided.
“Good. I usually get stuck with it,” said Eric, patting my bottom. “Let’s move it kiddos.”
“Hopefully this party doesn’t suck,” said Y/N beside me as we drove up a long driveway thirty minutes later, lips pursed.
“You hate parties,” Eric chuckled from the passenger seat.
“I hate parties where people ask me to sing at their kid’s sweet sixteen which is like, almost all the time,” she said, my hand reaching over and interlacing our hands together. “Sorry. That sounded bitchy.”
“It sounded like that’s really annoying to have happen all the time,” I said, the car slowing down behind another luxury SUV. “We won’t stay long, just a few hours. I know we have to do this for me.”
“Hey,” she said, voice firm. My eyes flickered to hers in the dark space. “We both have more money than we know what to do with. I’m perfectly happy to waste an evening if it means sending some of that money to a good cause. You getting some good press out of it is a bonus.”
“I ever tell you how wonderful you are?” I asked, heart swelling up as she blushed. “Want to go show off your reformed bad boy, sweetheart?”
“You were never bad,” she said, pecking a kiss on my lips. She grinned goofily and wiped them off with her thumb. “Lipstick.”
“You can take it off if you promise to put it back later,” I said, Y/N’s eyes flirting down to my groin, a wicked smirk on her face. “Down girl.”
“I’ll play with you later,” I said as we stopped. Eric slid out of the passenger seat as I opened the back door. I exited and held out a hand, helping Y/N down in her obnoxious skinny little heels. They looked like a death trap to me but she danced around on stage for three hours in them so if anyone knew how to work them, it was her.
Damn she was sexy in that dress. Almost as sexy as those red flannel pajama pants she wore last night. And that cozy blue sweater on Thursday. Or that-
“Stop staring at her,” said Sloane, pushing on my back so I’d move and she could slip out of the backseat. “You’re like a puppy obsessed with her.”
“Be nice,” Y/N chided, taking a step forward, letting me follow her lead. Eric and Sloane fell in place behind us, the driver staying with the car and driving off towards where the cars were being parked.
A man in a nice suit opened the front door for us, revealing a grand hall that made Y/N’s house look like a starter home.
“This guy is loaded,” I whispered in Y/N’s ear as we found ourselves quickly surrounded by people when they caught sight of her. There must have been three hundred people at this thing.
“Here we go,” she mumbled before putting on a big smile, immediately getting asked to be in a selfie with a woman in her twenties.
For the next thirty minutes it felt like we were bombarded, stuck not ten feet past the door in a never ending line of people wanting to talk to Y/N. Yes, some people were football fans but a vast majority were there for Y/N, some nervous, some practically jumping out of their skins.
“Damn dude, you’re beyond lucky,” said some guy to me as his wife took a picture with Y/N.
“I know I am,” I responded, Y/N giving me a flash of a smile.
“She needs a break,” whispered Eric in my ear. I stepped forward and cut off the next gaggle of women that wanted to approach.
“Excuse me, I need to steal Y/N for a minute,” I said, taking her arm and leading her down the large open hall.
“Thanks,” she said, grabbing a glass of champagne off a servers tray. She knocked it back and I started to scan the room in search of water for her.
“Hi,” said a teenage girl in a light blue dress, approaching slowly. She seemed out of place at the event filled with adults in designer clothes. “I’m Cecilia Monroe, Sebastian Monroe’s daughter.”
Ah she was this guys kid. That made sense. “Nice to meet you. We haven’t met your father yet. We’d like to thank him for his numerous donations to the Wolves charity over the years.”
“You have a lovely home,” said Y/N, the girl blushing, clasping her hand over her wrist in a failed attempt to hide her friendship bracelet. Y/N caught it and smiled. “Did you go to the tour this year?”
“Uh yeah. My dad got VIP tickets,” she said shyly, suddenly straightening her back. “I’ll be on the veranda. Please come find me when you’re through with my dad. It’s very important.”
She scuttled away, Y/N raising an eyebrow.
“I think you have a superfan,” I chuckled, Y/N biting her lip. “You think she’s a problem?”
“No. She’s a fan clearly but I don’t know,” she said, waving for Eric and Sloane to join us from where they stood together by a table of appetizers.
“You two good?” asked Sloane, their eyes finding the young girl and watching her leave.
“Keep an eye on that girl,” Y/N said, nodding as Cecilia went through open back doors outside. They both readied themselves but Y/N shook her head. “Just watch her. This might be a Denver situation.”
“Denver?” I asked, Eric frowning.
“Fan in Denver was being abused by her parents. Subtly asked Y/N for help at an event. Smart kid actually,” said Eric. “Sloane and I can try a soft approach with the girl, get a feel for if something is up, relay we can keep her safe .”
“This guy does have a lot of private security,” said Sloane. “If something’s happening, she may feel safer knowing we can protect her in the interim.”
“Let’s go talk to the girl,” said Y/N just as a man in a very nice suit came striding down the hall towards us. “I think that’s our host.”
“Eric, Sloane, go see what’s up. We can fend for ourselves for awhile,” I said. They scuttled away as the man greeted us, holding out a hand and shaking mine firmly.
“Sebastian Monroe,” he said with a pleasant enough smile. “And you two are the power couple my teenage daughter will not stop talking about.”
“Yeah, we get that a lot. We said hello to her earlier,” said Y//N with a fake smile, staying close to my side when the men looked like he was going to reach for her hand. “Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Dean Winchester,” I said, taking my hand back, the other wrapped around Y/N’s waist. The man only smiled though, like we didn’t need to introduce ourselves. “I’ve heard you’re a Wolves fan.”
“Oh not anymore than anyone else,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Although a signed jersey by you would certainly go for big bucks at our next charity auction.”
“We’ll have to make that happen for sure,” I said, not enjoying the way his gaze traveled down Y/N’s body. I’d seen it plenty of times tonight but his seemed the most sleazy of all.
“Speaking of the auction, where are the tables? I’d love to donate,” said Y/N.
“Right side of the veranda, sweetie.” Y/N hummed, giving me a look to join her as soon as I could. “Boy, if I was ten years younger.”
I couldn’t hide my annoyance, Sebastian flashing me a smile. “Oh no. Please go ahead and tell me what you’d do if you were ten years younger.”
“Easy kid. Half the population would bone her if they could,” he said, sipping from the glass in his hand. He took his turn to eye me, a curious look on his face. “You know, I could be inclined to offer another sizeable donation to the Wolves charity for those kids if I could get one of those signed jerseys myself.”
I bit my tongue, both of us aware of the clear message. Refuse and good ol’ Sebastian stops donating a million dollars each year to kids in poverty.
“I’m sure you got one around here somewhere we could fix up,” I said. Sebastian threw an arm over my shoulder and I hide my cringe.
“Good man. Come on. I got one right in my game room.”
Reader POV
There wasn’t really anything you wanted from the silent auction but you had found a general donation slip at the end of the table and jotted down your agent’s information. You’d looked around for Eric and Sloane or the girl when you finished but hadn’t found any of them which probably wasn’t a good sign. You frowned and walked over the railings edge, looking around the dim yard for any sign of them.
“Bruschetta?” asked one of the servers.
“No thank you,” you said without looking.
“I must insist,” he said. You rolled your eyes, ready to give it to this guy but something seemed familiar about him. He handed you one on a small napkin as you kept staring. “Take a bite and smile, pretend it’s really good.”
You’d had more than a handful of dangerous fan interactions over the years but this felt…different.
You did as he asked, faking wide eyes at the average at best food. “Who are you?”
“Do not make a scene,” he said as you finished off the food. “I need to get to your bodyguards.”
“Are you trying to protect that girl? Cecilia?” you asked as you played along and took another piece off the tray.
“What? No. I don’t have time for this,” he said, stepping in front of you, your gaze narrowing. “Do not ask questions. Just get me and Max the fuck out of here.”
“Max?” Your heart skipped a beat, the food falling from your hand as you understand where you’d seen him before. “Y-You’re Sam.”
“We’re watched. Get your guards to get us out. Don’t get caught or we’re dead,” he said, turning away and offering a couple nearby food from his tray. You swallowed, instantly putting on your performer’s smile. The one you wore that time you had food poisoning during a concert and were throwing up between songs back in the summer. The crowd had no fucking clue you felt like shit while you gave them the show of their lives.
Time to act your fucking ass off.
You walked past Sam without a second glance, wishing you could ask him all the questions swirling around in your head. Tell him he was going to be okay. Give him a damn hug and tell him he was safe now.
But you wore that damn smile, all while your blood was boiling. You’d had a lot of dark fantasies about what you’d do to the person that took Max. In recent weeks that’d turned to include Sam too.
It turned out the monster was a hundred feet away from you inside some fucking mansion.
“Y/N,” said Sloane, appearing through a set of open doors in the house, catching your arm a little roughly. “Stay in public.”
“I need to talk-” She shot daggers at you, shutting you up.
“Stay in public for the love of god or Eric will kill me,” she said, loosening her grip. “In forty five seconds I need you to be the biggest distraction in the world. Do not go in any rooms with anyone. Your fame will keep you safe but only if there are people around to witness it. Eric has eyes on him. Do not ask questions. Understand?”
“Sam’s on the veranda,” you whispered, Sloane nodding. Cecilia must have told her and Eric about your brothers.
“Go give us a shot to get them out of here.” You nodded and slipped inside, heart thumping away in your throat. Max was with with Eric. Wherever he was, he was with Eric. He was safe. And Sam should have been with Sloane by then. They were both safe.
As long as they got them out of this house and into the damn car before anyone could notice. Before all those private security guards seemingly on the edge of every room could stop them. Your driver was fast though. They just had to get the boys in the car and they’d be alright.
So you needed to be a distraction. A big fucking distraction and buy them time. You froze in the middle of the hallway, watching Sebastian leave a room with Dean by his side, horribly annoyed from the looks of it. An idea sparked in your mind, one you hoped Dean forgave you for someday.
Yeah, you knew how to cause a big fucking distraction alright.
Dean POV
“You son of a bitch!” screamed Y/N. Normal people could scream loud. A goddamn professional singer that could belt out ballads while running? The whole house went silent at her ear piercing shriek. Even the string orchestra stopped playing. I stared at her as she climbed on top of a table in the center hall, my eyes going wide. “You fucking cheater! You’re a fucking cheater Dean Winchester!”
“Excuse me?” I said, a hundred already with their phones out with even more people piling into the house from the veranda. “Sweetheart-”
“Don’t sweetheart me!” she screamed again. What the fuck was happening? “You’re a cheating bastard! You swore you were different!”
“Y/N, get off the table,” I said gently, very aware of the many phones that were facing us, even some from the freaking staff and private event security. Y/N only backed away when I reached for her, fury in her eyes so visceral it felt like it burned. “Y/N what-”
“I know what you did with her! By the fucking cherry blossoms? Our cherry blossoms? You think you can sleep around on me? I’m the motherfucking Princess of Pop! The world fucking loves me!”
Something was wrong. Besides the fact I hadn’t cheated, Y/N wasn’t one to scream at people from tabletops. She wasn’t drunk and she wasn’t on drugs. And we had no fucking cherry blossoms. Except for the fact it was the code to get in her house.
Trust. She was asking me to fucking trust her right now in front of three hundred people while she tore down my reputation.
If my girl was losing her shit, well damn I was going to play right along.
“Oh get off your high fucking horse!” I shouted, Y/N flinching for a brief moment like it’d stung. “I never made you promises. We aren’t even fucking exclusive!”
“What?!” she shouted back as Sebastian came over, clearing his throat.
“Perhaps if you two could-”
“This bitch is a moron for thinking I’d ever want someone like her. Of course I’m dicking around with you! You really think I want some goodie two shoes like you?”
“Man whore!” she shouted.
“Fucking prude!” I screamed back, praying to god Y/N knew that every word out of my mouth was a lie. “No wonder no one wants to date you. Getting in your pants wasn’t even worth it!”
“Funny since getting in yours just takes a smile. I’m surprised you haven’t contracted every disease known to man you pig!”
“At least I get some! You’re wound up so tight surprised anything can fucking fit up there!” Fuck, I was really going to hate myself in the morning.
Y/N was halfway through screaming back at me when I felt both my phone and Y/N’s go off in my pocket.
YOUR BROTHERS ARE SAFE. HOST SECURITY KNOWS WE GOT THEM OUT. OUR SECURITY & FEDS ON THE WAY. ETA TEN MINUTES. DON’T TRUST LOCAL COPS. CORRUPTED. HOST IS BAD GUY. STAY AWAY FROM HIM AND GUARDS. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO TO STAY IN PUBLIC.
“What the fuck does brothers safe mean?” I asked, tossing my phone to her. Y/N caught it one handed, her whole body relaxing momentarily before tensing again, her rage suddenly on it’s true target.
Sebastian Monroe.
“Our brothers were here,” she grit out. She ripped off her heels and hopped down onto the floor, stalking over to Sebastian slowly like he was her prey. Her face darkened and I swore she looked ready to tear someone’s throat out. “Our baby brothers were in this fucking house! As your servers! Not of their free will! No. No, they were being watched. Forced. Last I checked, our baby brothers were kidnapped and they didn’t get un-fucking kidnapped.”
She gripped her heel tight in her left hand, right clenched so hard I saw the bone against the skin of her knuckles.
“I don’t care if you weren’t the one that took them. But you kept them and I’m going to fucking destroy you for it,” she growled, approaching him as my brain tried to catch up.
“Y/N what are-”
“I saw Sam! And he was scared and said they’d kill him if he got caught talking to me. They’re safe now but Sam and Max were forced to live here. By him.” Her head turned towards Sebastian, his own head glancing at his security team. “What the fuck did you do to our brothers?”
It clicked for me what she’d been saying, what the text meant, why Y/N had acted so out of character. So full of hatred. But I barely had a chance to feel that same hatred.
Because in the blink of an eye, one of Sebastian’s guards grabbed at Y/N and her fist shot out, connecting with the man’s jaw. He seemed alarmed at her strength and fell back, another guard trying to get their hands on her.
“Get off!” she shouted, kneeing another guy before flipping him on his back. But there were too many of them and I rushed forward, yanking her behind me just as Sebastian got in my face.
He eyed me up and down, smirking at me. “Oh you two just made a big mistake.”
He clasped his hands together loudly as his guards surrounded us, turning his attention to the rest of the party.
“Let’s give the love birds some privacy to sort out their issues,” he chuckled. “And maybe keep an eye on the open bar, hm?”
He spun back around and leaned in close, the stench of cigars and alcohol on his breath.
“Get your brothers back here or I’ll fuck her up so badly there won’t be anything left to bury.” He gripped my shoulder, too forcefully. “And then I’ll bury you alive in the woods all the while the world will think you got in a drunken accident on the way home. After all you had a very loud and public argument tonight. With the friends I have in certain positions of authority…I can make even you two disappear like nothing.”
Y/N gripped the back of my suit jacket tight, a slight tremble in her hand as she listened to him speak.
“Get those boys back and get those guards back in the next ten minutes or I start cutting off pieces of the damn princess of pop.”
________
A/N: Read the Final Part here!
#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean x you#spn fanfic#supernatural fanfic#dean x#dean winchester fanfic#football au
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youtube
Holy shit this conversation. transcript beneath the cut.
Minute: Hello
Clown: Hello Minute
Minute: We need to talk
Leo: Okay we can talk
Minte: Let's fly to the original PMC base
Leo: The original? Oh my gosh are you going to kill us? This is so sad.
Minute: I’m not going to kill you guys.
Leo: Oh, thanks. All right ClownPierce, are we going to the original PMC base?
Clown: Yeah, we are. We owe you that much minute
Leo: This is the PMC reunion isn't it?
Clown: This is the PMC reunion
Minute: This is the PMC reunion
Clown: It's sad, it's sad that this is it.
Leo: Yeah, yeah.
Clown: What's the last time we really worked together?
Leo: Couple, couple months.
Minute: Been a while.
Leo: Like 3 or 4 months probably. Quite some time.
Clown: All right
Leo: Wait, the original one? Like the original one?
Minute: The desert one
Clown: The original.
Minute: Or do you guys really want to get original?
Leo: No no no no no no that didn't count.
Minute: If you want to be original we can go to the villagers.
Leo: No this one's good this one's good okay this one has more memory with it.
Clown: This is like our real first base.
Leo: Yeah. ‘Do you want to trade?’ All right, ‘ladder climbers Inc’
Clown: Hi, what is this? Climb a ladder? Really? Okay, sorry.
Minute: Hey guys.
Leo: MinuteTech.
Minute: Can I? Let me, let me- Can I ask why?
Leo: 500 bucks.
Minute: Bruh.
Clown: For me it was more about the peace, Minute. I am, I'm not good going out with peace on Lifesteal.
Minute: You know- You didn’t want to have to talk? You don't want to talk to me about this before making up your mind? You didn't want to owe me the conversation?
Clown: It all happened so fast, look these guys- No. No, I, I didn't want to talk to you, Minute cuz you were too far gone.
Leo: I- I, I would also like to say, like even before the $500. like uh people came to me with uh telling me to try to get presidency from you and I, I did agree to it. I won't lie um, just because it's just I don't know. It's just I don't think you're the best president Minute.
Minute: Why, though? Can I- I just want I want reasoning, cause that's- I’m missing out on a lot of that this whole Arc.
Leo: It's just, it's just not you, Minute. It's just not for you. You're just you're just not that guy.
Minute: You don't think peace is the right direction?
Leo: I think peace is great but I don't think you're the person to do it. I don't think you have-
Clown: I think peace sucks.
Leo: I I don't think you can do it, Minute. That's the thing and I don't know, yeah I just. I couldn't see it end that way.
Minute: (Sighs) Now why- Why side with Wemmbu? Why not start your own thing?
Clown: Um well they have a plan. and it was a pretty damn solid one.
Minute: Can I hear it?
Clown: Well you just experienced it.
Minute: This- You- The server needs to be on Hardcore mode and conveniently the one person who is uncapable of dying is Wemmbu?
Clown: Um, I mean. We have an uneasy alliance with Wemmbu, you could call it. we don't really. Know exactly what he wanted to do, other than putting the server to Hardcore
Minute: Do you know what his secret policy is or is that still secret?
Clown: No, we, we knew nothing except for the Hardcore mode.
Leo: I don't know about that either, yeah.
Clown: we didn't know he was going to make himself immortal.
Leo: Yeah.
Clown: Would you have done that, if you thought of that?
Minute: I have thought of making myself immortal but I didn't.
Leo: Yeah, like, actually Wemmbu didn't even come to me with the hardcore idea. Uh it was PrinceZam and Mapic they told me to get presidency and make the server hardcore. and I was going to do that but then it kind of ended up just going that way. So um, but yeah, I- I just I don't know, like it just doesn't really make sense to end it in peace like this. And I, it doesn't make sense for the PMC, for a member of the PMC. To be the president or the god of the server.
Clown: Exactly! Conflict is how our whole business.
Leo: Yeah,
Clown: So why would we end it?
Leo: Yeah, I think if anything, like you know this is the PMC reunion. Let's uh, let's end it with a bang. We are the PMC like, if you guys are still down. I'd be 100% down to do that, let's you know, the server's about to turn to hardcore mode. Why don't we make the best of it?
Clown: That is a point.
Minute: (Sigh)
Clown: Look Minute this- This hurt right? This hurt cuz we've been through a lot.
Minute: It hurts being lied to.
Leo: Yeah.
Minute: I just wish you guys owed me the honesty. Instead of this being the way I found out.
Leo: Yeah, sometimes that's just the way it is.
Clown: See Minute, when you have that much power. When you can snap your fingers and make anything happen. You don't have that luxury anymore.
Minute: (Sigh)
Clown: But hey, now we're on equal playing fields, and now we can talk to each other, you know?
Leo: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Minute: (Sigh)
Leo: Minute, the end is already going to happen. It's too late, why don't we just forget the past, and you know, figure out what to do next?
Minute: This is a lot for me to take in. But why Wemmbu? Why we- Clown, you and I were against him before? Why?
Clown: I didn't like it either, okay. Let, let me-
Minute: I'll tell- I'll tell you better. I'll tell you better than anyone, he's just going to use you and spit you out whenever it's convenient. Or whenever you're no longer convenient for him. I know it better than anyone!
Clown: I think we can handle Wemmbu.
Minute: He can't die!
Clown: Oh but he can drop.
Minute: He's just gonna sit tens of thousands of blocks out and wait for everyone to kill each other until he's the last one. I know this better than anyone! Why didn't you talk to me?
Clown: To be fair-
Leo: He might not be able to die, but-
Minute: You could have reasoned with me before this! you didn't have to do all this!
Clown: I figured like, the whole plan out, like 3 hours ago. And then I made dinner. So, I didn't know it was happening today. But also that's besides the point. Um, like I said minute, like you having that much power. Revealing that plan to you, if you decided to-
Minute: What makes you think I'm not to be reasoned with?
Leo: I mean you were set on peace and that just wasn't going to happen, Minute.
Minute: You were in my VC 30 minutes before that agreeing with it!
Leo: Yeah, because I had to lie to you Minute.
Clown: Technically I never lied. We just-
Leo: Well to be fair you, you lied through the absence of speaking, but yeah.
Clown: (hushed) Not helping.
Leo: Oh sorry. He didn't lie. Minute it's just, it's just the way this works. Like I know, I know it hurts. Like the whole betrayal thing, you know in a way. Uh, is- I get it I think this is almost the first time that's really happened to you right? In this kind of fashion. But it's just the way it is. Like sometimes things just got to happen, because they got to happen.
Clown: And hey it's- It's not like we could do anything could we?
Leo: Yeah, it was going to happen anyways.
Clown: Be honest, if we came to you. If we came to you and we said: Oh your whole plan of Peace? Throw it out the window. Would you have done it?
Minute: I would have listened! That is the point of us being the PMC! We're supposed to be brothers in this! We started this- We started the season together. Why are we going behind my back before talking to me?
Clown: Cuz we were scared.
Minute: You were scared of me!?!
Clown: We're scared of- We're scared of that power you had Minute. It's, it was a lot, it's a lot of power.
Leo: It's honestly, like it's better for the person with power to be your enemy, than it is to be your friend. Because it's much much harder to betray your friend, when they have that much power. It's just not even possible at that point. I don't- like, I would hate, to have worked against you. And plotted to kill you or chunk ban you, or put you in the void or whatever, right? It's much better this way, it's much better.
Minute: It isn’t.
Leo: I think it is.
Minute: lying?
Leo: I mean they're both- They both involve lying, but now we have a common enemy. We can, we can all work towards against him. It's much better than me and Clown working against you.
Minute: It never had to be this way. I was always one dm away. you guys chose to betray me. I don't want to fight you, I don't want that to be the way we separate.
Clown: Then we want-
Minute: I'm very conflicted.
Leo: What are you going to do then?
Minute: That’s what I’m gonna figure out.
Leo: Good luck.
Minute: I'll see you guys
Leo: Buh Bye.
Clown: Bye Minute.
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Sorry, just discovered your public knowledge au, its hilarious. I think 'realistically' I like the Only Miraculous wielders & whoever they tell knows version as it could feel a bit less cracky though it'd still beg why they don't bring other heroes in to collectively stomp Gabriel as they know his location. Though that just has me imagining him palming it off on his various rich friends like a hot potato. Anyway two main thoughts:
`1: For the just Holders know AU, Gabriel owns up to his motives right away & almost convinces the kids. Except Fu shows up & reveals that its basically a monkeys paw and more people will die if he makes is wish. Gabriel insists he s smart enough to work around that (He also just doesn't care) but Tikki & Plagg are like, "Literally we have no control over this, it goes to shit every single time, sorry."
In essence, its his ego and control freak nature that mean Gabriel refuses to give up even when he and everyone else know he should quit. Its probably kind of a sad/rough start for Adrien especially, but also leads to very quick positive vibes with Marinette & more direct mentorship.
2: Rogercop be like
Chloe: Well, seeing as you won't do your damn job, how about our classes two super heroes show you up?
Adrien: I am one hundred percent down for that except I can't find Plagg!
Marinette: Ya know I've wanted to try this anyway, Luck Charm! (Gets a Plagg doll with his head snuck in the bracelet) Well that answers that.
Later
Tikki: How did you even get stuck we can phase through soli matter.., Oh this is interesting and maybe concerning.
Chloe: What can it do magic, is it a Miraculous?
Plagg: Well its tied to a Miraculous, where'd you find this?
Chloe: Back of my mothers cupboard?
Andre: You aren't meant to have that (Tries to snatch)
Chloe: Why, what is it!? Can it do magic?
Andre: If by magic you mean mind control you- don't break it you'll explode!
Chloe: Why do you own a mind controlling bracelet that only works on me and kills me if it breaks and why was it in a fucking dust covered pile of half forgotten trash!?
Andre: ... Its your mot- Gabriel's fault, blame him, now I have a meeting to get to bye! (Runs away)
Butterflies appear
Adrien: Dad, glad you could... Make it.
Gabriel: Well I am here now, also the Amok's treatment is very much 'not' my fault, it is like that because your parents don't love you.
Adrien: DAD!
Gabriel: I am a magical empath son, I know it to be true, your mother and I were much more careful with your Amok & sealed it away so it could never be used against you or damaged. Those two tossed it in a cupboard once they realized it couldn't just rewrite a babies personality, or any personality, to not need things like food or affection, if they hadn't already made the announcement they'd have probably smashed it or given it away.
Gabriel: By it I mean Chloe.
Chloe: Oh... (Uses the Amok to turn herself 'off' IE pass out)
Gabriel: Dammit, I was hoping the truth would cause her to explode in a rage never before seen and become my most powerful Akuma! I can't even use this self destructive self loathing, she's too depressed to even transform! (Leaves)
Honestly this started out kind of funny then I made myself sad.
Gabriel: I wonder if I should mention the sister they had made as a replacement. That one didn't turn out how they wanted either but they did skip the baby phase.
GOD the chaos there.
But also yeah the AU is mostly crack because tbh I can't see an identity reveal happening that doens't immediately lead to an ending one way or another.
But also OOF.
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The Archer | Chapter VIII: Bigger Than The Whole Sky
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X
Summary: As you try everything in your power to bring Neteyam back to life, he gets everything he's ever wanted in Eywa.
Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader
Word Count: 11,5k words
Warnings/notes (please proceed with caution, some of the topics might be sensitive/triggering): angst (lots and lots of angst), death, blood, violence, cursing, mildly suggestive content (18+, minors DNI), spoilers (!!) for ATWOW
A/N: i am sick and i am so so so sorry - IT HAD TO BE DONE OK?!
This was supposed to be the last chapter, but i quickly realised as i was writing it that there was no way I could reasonably end the series the way I wanted to this way - so two chapters it is. This took everything out of me honestly, but i put so much love and effort into this series, into the laws and the lore I have created, and I hope it comes across this way. I have spent an obscene amount of time trying to piece it all together, make everything consistent within the story I have already told, and I am proud of the way everything is shaping up. Now, this chapter WILL HURT and I am so sorry, but I PROMISE you all you will not be disappointed with the ending, and I will give EVERY character the ending they deserve, bc i love them all so much and they deserve to be happy.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling but i'd love to chat more about it and elaborate my thoughts and reasonings so let's chat in the replies/asks baby boys, gals and non-binary pals <3 ILY all so much xoxoxo
↳ *Spotify playlist* ༉‧₊˚✧
No words appear before me in the aftermath
Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears
Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness
'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea
“Where are your sisters?”
Jake’s voice registered weakly in your ears, just like the muffled cries around you and Neytiri’s haunting wails. The tears that fell from your eyes were dried up and gone in the wind, like the rest of your being was. Empty. Soulless. Dead.
“YOUR SISTERS, WHERE ARE THEY?”
“I don’t know.”
Lo’ak’s voice sounded tired. So tired. You were all tired. Tired of this world, tired of the pain that never ever seemed to cease, that never ever wanted to relent. Your blurred dizzy vision moved to your hands, red and sticky, coated in Neteyam’s warm blood. You looked at Lo’ak, whose hands looked similar to yours. Fitting, you thought. His blood was on your hands. You were responsible for this. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get the fuck out of the ship, like you should have done. You made him come. And because of you, your dad was dead, your mate was dead. Your dad was a trained soldier, one of the best that has ever existed. Why in Eywa’s name would you ever think he needed you? If you hadn’t been there, they would have probably escaped the ship easier, quicker, and you would be all finishing the rest of the humans instead of trying to figure out how you were ever going to survive this, how you were supposed to exist in a world Neteyam didn’t, how you were going to make quick work of your damned, void soul.
Your mind went to the book, the book that you took with you to this new life as you carried it in your own, the book whose every memorable quote reminded you of him, that felt so appropriate now, all the words were swimming scattered through every crevice of your being.
“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.”
“Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!”
“I have to remind myself to breathe -- almost to remind my heart to beat!”
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
“Nelly, I am Heathcliff - he's always, always in my mind - not as a pleasure, any more then I am always a pleasure to myself - but, as my own being.”
It truly seems you couldn’t stop ruining everything you touched. It seems no matter what body your mind was in, no matter whether in the forest or at sea, no matter a child or a full grown adult, no matter broken or seemingly healed, everything you touched just turned to ashes. Everything, everyone that dared to get close to you was bound to be lost in the abyss forever.
“WHERE ARE THEY?”
“They’re on the ship. They are tied up on the ship.”
“Yeah, they’re at the moon pool. Come on, I’ll show you.”
All the voices were distant, broken, like a messed up radio, you could only pick up words, only sounds that your brain was working hard to try to piece together. You didn’t know who was speaking, your every sense focused on Neteyam, on his eyes, still open, that will haunt you forever, for the rest of your measly, torn-apart life.
You noticed Jake come to you, taking you by the shoulders and shaking you. He did the same to Neytiri.
“Kid, come on. Let’s go. We gotta go.” When he saw how unresponsive you are, that your eyes barely looked more alive than your mate’s, that all you could muster was a barely visible shake of head, he let you go.
“Listen to me, listen to me.” He could barely speak, could be barely heard over the stirring, painful cries continuously escaping Neytiri’s mouth, yet another thing you will never be able to forget as long as you live. You have never heard anything like it, never thought it was possible for such sounds to escape another being, never thought a wordless evocation could say so much, could say everything words couldn’t.
“They have our daughters. They have our daughters. I need you with me. And I need you to be strong. Right now, strong heart. Strong heart.”
Silence enveloped the space around you, just like the darkness that came with the eclipse, and you were happy, happy for your mind to be able to focus on what it needed to, what it had to.
“Let’s go get our daughters.”
“You stay with your brother.”
“No, dad, I want to go with you.”
“You’ve done enough.”
“No, dad…”
Neteyam woke up dazed, lavender haze surrounding him until his vision finally focused, and he was able to see the periwinkle glow for what it was: bioluminescent flora. Different than the one he’s been forced to get used to the past few months - better. Because this beauty all around him was in a place he knew and loved so much, that will always be his favourite place in the world. Your clearing, back in the Omatikaya forest. How was he here? He couldn’t remember what happened, couldn’t remember a single thing from before a few seconds ago, but he took a moment to revel in being back home. He has not said it to anyone, not even you, but as much as he has enjoyed the reef, enjoyed the peace that came with being far away from humans, within the Metkayina clan, Neteyam deeply missed his home. He’s wanted to speak about it to you, but couldn’t - not when he knew how much you have also been struggling with it, how much you also missed this place, not when there was nothing to be done anyway. They couldn’t come back, as much was clear, while the humans hunted them so ferociously, while the clan could suffer as a consequence.
This place was slightly different than he remembered, Neteyam mused, and he realises it is because he has very rarely seen it after eclipse. You both usually came here during the day, as dangers hid in the shadow of the night, dangers he wouldn’t be willing to risk encountering, not with you around. He slowly, deliberately, enjoying every step, every sensation, every sound, made his way to the middle of the clearing, where the river trickled serenely, and he couldn’t help kneel next to it and put one hand in the water, palm against the current. He stood like this for a while, reminiscing about all the memories you have made here and how happy he was to be able to feel this again.
“Neteyam, wait uuup!”
“You have to be faster than that if you ever want to catch me!”
“I don’t want to catch you, I just want to catch up with you!”
Neteyam laughed at the tiny 8 year old girl with bouncing hair and starry eyes, ears pushed back and tails swinging rapidly from one side to the other in happiness at seeing her running towards him, a small pout on her pink lips and an annoyed figure on her face. The little boy kneeled to the ground and opened his much bigger arms wide and she ran straight into him, almost knocking him over at the force of the impact. He wondered if it hurt her. He was always worried about her, she was so so small.
“You caught me.”
“Woah! What is this place?”
Neteyam took in your awed, amazed expression and turned around slowly and was speechless at the beauty of this place, this little corner of Pandora that seemed untouched, that seemed no one else has ever set foot in it before you two.
“It’s heaven!!”
“What’s heaven?” You spoke English most of the time, although you knew Na’vi as well, but a lot of the words you spoke were new to Neteyam - he was a fast learner, though, and he loved it when you explained anything to him. It was better than when the scientists did, except auntie Jo. He loved auntie Jo.
“It’s where good people go after they die, at least that’s what mummy said about Earth people.”
Neteyam shook his head minutely. “No, people go with Eywa after they die! Everybody knows that!”
“So, maybe Heaven is where Eywa is?”
You both thought about it a long time, focused expressions on both your faces.
“That sounds about right! But why is it here?”
You thought about that for a while too. “I think Heaven looks different for different people. But this can be our heaven! Yours and mine!”
“Just you and me?”
“Just you and me.”
Neteyam liked the idea of that, that there would be a place for only you two, for the rest of time.
Neteyam’s attention shifted back from his own little world into this one, although it barely felt like anything changed, as two little kids ran straight into the clearing, a little human girl chasing a blue boy. Why was his mind making him see the same thing twice, why was this all so real, it was like it was taken from his imagination and placed into the physical world?
“Kalin, wait uuup! I’m smaller than you and I have tiny legs! You are being mean, brother!”
Kalin? Brother?
“Tsy, you’re the one that asked me to not go easy on you.”
“Well, that’s what mother told me to say. She said it’s called feminism.”
“What’s feminism?”
“What do I know? I’m six.”
Neteyam was taken aback at the interaction, and at these kids that he has never seen before, whose names didn’t sound familiar to him at all. And the little girl… there’s no other human children on Pandora, haven’t been since… well, you. Could they be new children the humans brought with them? But the scientists always said the reason Spider wasn’t sent back was because you cannot put babies in the contraptions humans used to travel. He sat there, unmoving, just taking it all in, studying these two children carefully, with intense curiosity. His eyes widened and mouth opened before he even realised, as he observed the girl more carefully. She was human… but she had white freckles, freckles like all the Na’vi did… and she had a queue. A queue…
Her hair was dark and thick, braided and ornate, with beads and feathers, and her eyes, they were yellow, like his, but the shape, just like the shape of her nose and mouth… she looked like you. The boy was taller and blue, like he was, but his eyes and nose looked… human, nothing like a Na’vi, and Neteyam was reminded a lot of Kiri, how she looked even more human than an Avatar. As he was laughing at his little sister, Neteyam saw the boy… Kalin, was it? He didn’t have fangs, either. His hair was long and wavy, a different colour than the rest of the Na’vi had, and he was wearing it down, flowing gently and glowing in the sun.
Neteyam’s heart was about to explode out of his chest as the realisation slowly hit him, and as he shifted a little towards them, struggling to keep himself steady on the ground, the sounds his body made attracted the attention of the two little beings in front of him, who both gasped loudly and smiled widely at his presence.
“DADDY! YOU’RE HERE!”
They both ran with all their might straight into his body, which - at the contact as well as the overwhelming feelings that enveloped him whole - fell straight to the ground with a loud thud, and which Kalin and Tsyeym started attacking mercilessly with tickles and kisses.
“WE MISSED YOU, DAD!”
No. No. No.
This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be the end.
You felt like you just woke up, like your brain rewired and restarted. What the fuck were you doing? You were a medic. You were a scientist. You had a fucking medical bag full of supplies and equipment and so much shit you worked so hard to learn to use, to bring here with you. And you were just going to let your mate die? Without even trying? No. No fucking way.
You got up from the ground, like the ground burned you, and ran to Neyn, where you picked up the large bag that always resided on her, and moved it next to Neteyam’s body. You pushed away the tears forming silently at his unmoving form, trying not to dwell on it too much. He’s just sleeping. He’s just sleeping. Your mate, your best friend and the love of your life, the man you hoped would be the father of your children one day, he’s just sleeping.
You searched the bag, hurried and crazed, and found the strips of gauze you were looking for. You removed them from their sterile wrappings and screamed at Tsireya, who was looking at you panicked, not understand what was happening. You cringed a little at her face, a crying, blubbering mess, and tried to push the thoughts out of your mind. He’s just sleeping. Just sleeping. You looked around for Lo’ak, or Jake, or anyone else, but they were all gone. Where was Lo’ak? Where did he go again? You needed him and he was gone. You growled loudly, but didn’t say anything else on the subject, turning your full attention to Tsireya.
“I need you to help me keep him upright for a while, I need to bandage his wounds. Can you do that?”
She was confused, the emotion very obvious on her face. “Y-yes, I can, but… but… he’s d-“
“Tsireya.” You hissed lowly, fangs barring menacingly. He was sleeping. Just sleeping. “Can you help me or not?”
She nodded furiously, and you knew she would help in any way she could. She was a good kid. She’ll make a good Tsa’hik one day.
“Alright.” You helped her bring his torso up, and you waited for her to rearrange so that she could keep his much larger body in the position you needed her to. You grabbed the large bandage and rolled it around his body, tying it as tightly as you possibly could, cursing under your breath that no one else was here, knowing that Jake could have tightened it better than you could. You needed as much pressure as possible, needed the wounds to stop bleeding. You were trying not to think about how much blood he’s already lost. All that mattered at the moment was that his heart started beating again. You were the same blood type, you could give him blood, but all the blood in the world wouldn’t do anything without a heart to pump it through his body.
Once you were happy with how wrapped his body was, you motioned for Tsireya to lay him back on the ground, which she did, slowly and carefully - which you appreciated. You straddled him, knees on either side of his abdomen and placed the heel of your hand over his chest. You placed your other hand on top of the first, and intertwined your fingers together, starting to pump his chest rhythmically, putting all your effort into it.
“Tsireya, I need you to look in the bag and find a red little case, like a basket. When you find it, bring it to me, fast.”
She took off immediately, ready and committed to do whatever it took to help. You continued the CPR, not stopping for a second, mind running a thousand miles a minute. The fight or flight finally overtook you, and you knew now you would do whatever it took to bring Neteyam back. Because you had to. Because there was no other option. Because you have both suffered enough. You deserved a soft epilogue. You were both good people, and you suffered enough.*
“Here it is!” She brought it next to you, flinging it from side to side in front of your face.
“Good. Now I need you to open it, you see that string? That’s called a zipper. Just pull on it and it should come apart in two.”
Once she did that, you saw the defibrillator come into view and you sighed a small breath of relief. You were exhausted, sweat dripping from your forehead and onto Neteyam’s chest.
“I need you to put this on him. I will walk you through it, I will tell you what to do, but you have to do it, do you understand me?”
She looked uncomfortably from side to side. “B-but, I.. you should do it.”
“I can’t do it, Tsireya. Please. I know this it strange to you, and new and unnatural, and I am sorry, but I need to do this. We need to do this.” You let out a pained cry. “I need to save him. I can save him.”
Your voice rang in the forest all around him, surrounding the meadow and filling his ears, hauntingly beautiful and serene, and he was overwhelmed at the voice, that he missed so much, that he felt like he was just hearing for the first time.
Where the North wind meets the sea
There's a river full of memory
Sleep, my darling, safe and sound
For in this river, all is found
Neteyam struggled to understand what was going on, but, as he was being tackled by the children that just called him dad, the children that bore a striking resemblance to both you and him, he allowed himself to be pushed to the ground and he felt his heart swell to twice its size at the feeling of warmth that enveloped him. As he tightened his arms around the little boy and girl, he realises he knows them. He knows them, has known them every moment of their lives. He has loved them every moment of their lives.
“Parultsyìp! (Children!)”
Memories flooded his being, of your beautiful body, now a bit bigger than he remembered, caressing your pregnant belly tenderly as he placed small kisses all over it; you laughed loudly as the action made you ticklish, and brought your hand to the back of his head, patting him gently, playing with his braids. Memories of Kalin being born, a strange sight, seeing the blue baby come out of his very human mate, but the happiest day of his life. Memories of Mo’at telling you you’re pregnant again, and the shock that overtook you both, then the immense joy that followed seeing his baby girl for the first time, so tiny and absolutely perfect. The first communion with Eywa, their pocket-sized queues connecting to the Spirit Tree, the whole tribe and the scientists, all there to celebrate the Olo’eyktan and Tsakarem, as well as their new happy family. Putting them to sleep every night, neither of them able to slumber without hearing your voice singing softly in their ears. The years passing, but not the passion and love you shared, still obsessed with each other, still going at it like crazed teenagers, like you did ever since you first mated. Images of Lo’ak being the best uncle, and Neteyam having panic attacks every time he would twist and throw his kids in the air like they were helicopter propellers. His mother and father both holding each one of the kids in their arms, cooing and rocking them softly, crying when Tsy wrapped her tiny hand around his mother’s pinky. Kalin’s first word, sweets, since that was what you always called him, and Tsyeym’s, fuck, curtesy of Lo’ak and Spider’s babysitting, which Neteyam prohibited afterwards, and although you tried to hide it - you found it a little funny. All of these things and more, 8 years of memories, of love and care, of adoration and awe, all overwhelming, all pulsating through Neteyam’s mind like electrical shocks, waking him like from a nightmare.
“Neteyam?”
When his amber eyes reopened, the kids were gone, much to his dismay, but he was comforted by the sight of you, his beautiful love, his beautiful light.
“Atan!”
Your human face looked scared, and confused, and sad, but Neteyam couldn’t care less, not when he felt like he hasn’t seen you in a lifetime, not when the only thing he wanted to do was kiss you, like Dean kissed Rory in that episode of Gilmore Girls you loved. He didn’t think twice about your size, about how in your human body, you were as tall as a Na’vi girl, how even in the forest, your face was unencumbered by the weight of your oxygen mask. He didn’t think of anything, because none of it matter outside of you, outside of you and him and the love you shared.
He ran to you, watching as every step made the ground glow in lustrous pastel colours and he smiled as he picked you up by your thighs and lifted you, pushing you to the tree your body was close to until your back hit it and you wrapped your legs around his hips. Your hands found his face and hair, like they always did, and your body melted into him, slowly relaxing, giving him a dazzling smile that took his breath away.
“Hi.”
“Hi, Atan.”
The kiss was everything he needed and more, more than he could ever dream in this life and the next and everything that came after. It was hot and needy and desperate, and you were clinging to each other like you never wanted to let go, and he’d be damned if he ever would again.
Tsireya took a look at your disheveled figure, putting all your effort into your chest compressions, and she nodded, determination overtaking any other emotion on her face.
“Tell me what to do.”
“Alright. In the pouch, there is the little device with a human drawn on it. You see that blue lever, just pull on it, until the cover comes off.”
She did as she was told, and let out an excited yelp when what you told her would happen, happened.
“I did it!”
“That’s great, Tsireya. Now, inside, there are two pieces of… paper… yes, that’s right. I need you to look at the drawing on them, and remove the yellow film that is on them, and put the white strips on Neteyam’s body, exactly how it shows you in the picture. Make sure you press them down properly.”
She manoeuvred around you so she can do what you told her, and eventually, the pads were on. It was up to the little contraption to do its job now. Neteyam’s life was in its tiny, inanimate hands.
“Neteyam, stop.”
“No, Atan, I can’t stop. I need you, I need you so badly.”
Neteyam felt you push him away, the same expression as earlier marring your beautiful face. You looked…scared.
“Neteyam, why are you here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Fuck… if you’re here… that means… Shit.”
Neteyam watched as you removed yourself from him, and no matter how disappointed, he helped put you back onto the ground. You put distance in between you, which Neteyam dreaded, and you were pacing around, seemingly out of your mind with worry.
“No… it can’t be.”
“What is going on, Atan? You’re scaring me.”
“Neteyam, you can’t be here. You have to go. What is the last thing you remember?”
Neteyam thought long and hard about it. Nothing… he couldn’t remember anything. He can remember moving to the Metkayina, and learning to swim. He can remember the beauty of the reef, he can remember you, hair blowing gracefully in the humid wind as you took to the new culture, he can remember a magical celebration where people danced and sang. That’s about it.
“I can’t remember much… I just woke up here, back home. I walked through the clearing and saw our kids. Our kids, Atan! They are so beautiful, they look so much like both of us. They look exactly like what I imagined them to ever since I fell in love with you! I can’t believe I’m back home, I can’t believe this is happening. I thought I’d never be back here.”
Your mouth fell slightly agape, looking somewhere behind him, and you looked like you were trying to process everything he was telling you.
“…Kids… Our kids… you saw our kids?”
“Yes, they were right there, laughing and chasing each other, just like we used to do, in the exact place we used to. It’s everything I have ever wanted, ever since the moment I knew how deeply and irrevocably in love with you I was, all I wanted was this. That moment right there, this moment right here.”
Neteyam saw your lips quiver, trembling trying to keep in the tears that were threatening to spill out. Your brows were furrowed and you were looking at him in disbelief, like nothing about this made sense, like what he was feeling was wrong, and Neteyam couldn’t understand. He was finally home. You finally guided him home.
You closed the distance in between you and pulled him into a hug, a tight hug that he immediately reciprocated.
“I love you so much. I have missed you so much.” You were sobbing in his chest now, hot tears trickling down his torso.
“But I need you to try to remember. You have to remember.”
Neteyam’s words caught in his throat as a loud boom almost knocked him to the ground, shaking the whole clearing, and he found it hard keeping upright. His first instinct, as it always was, was to shield you, so he grabbed your body in his and pushed you to the ground, towering over you with his body.
“What is happening?”
The world was losing focus around him, the edges of the clearing blurred and disappearing slowly from view.
“Atan, what is happening?”
You looked at him, eyes wide and he saw you shaking your head almost imperceptibly, biting on the inside of your lip aggressively. He brought his hand up to your face and caressed your lips softly with his thumb, tugging a little so you stopped hurting yourself.
“What is it, Atan? What can’t you tell me? Why am I here? Why are we here?”
“I’m here for you, Neteyam. You have to remember.”
Neteyam was trying so hard, thinking so hard whilst the world was seemingly falling apart around him, around you both, and the only thing he could think of, the only think he knew, is that he didn’t want to leave you. He didn’t want to leave the meadow, or the kids. He was home, finally. He could finally live.
“I will try to remember, Atan. I am not leaving you, I am not going anywhere. I will protect you and the kids. We’re never going to be apart again.”
You seemed pained at his words, but said no more as another quake shook the ground you were laying on.
You watched as Neteyam’s body jerked violently for a second time, with no response. The deep fear and anguish, the dark thoughts were slowly creeping up on you again, as your mate wasn’t coming back to life, and it seemed again all efforts, all your hope was easily being dragged out to sea, out into the abyss, along your sanity and future.
“Please, please fuck! Please, just work. Goddamn it!”
You continued CPR in between shocks, praying, begging Eywa for a chance. Please, Great Mother, you can’t do this. I’m begging you, please. Please!
Beep. Beep. Beep.
As you felt his heart beating in his chest again and heard it on the AED, you felt as if yours started beating again too. You stopped the chest compressions and moved your head close to his face, trying to see if he was breathing. A soft, subtle puff of air was being released from his nose every couple of seconds and you saw in shock as wet drips were falling on his beautiful, ethereal face.
Acid rain leaking from your eyes, pouring like tropical storms, never-ending, all-powerful and you couldn’t stop, couldn’t make them stop. You were wailing, crying harder than you ever have before as the man you loved came back from the dead, as his heartbeat was weak, but nevertheless present on your fingertips that were pushing against his throat, as your other hand went to his cheek that you caressed, trying to figure out if this was real, if he was really back. Your wails were so loud they were hurting your ears, but you couldn’t stop, you couldn’t make yourself stop, all you felt was enormous, earth-shattering grief, all the sorrow you suppressed flooding all of your senses, clouding your mind, pushing anything else down, melting it into the ground. The ache was coursing through your veins, poisoning every cell in your body until the was nothing left but this - it. You should be happy, you should be relieved, but as you watched the man you have known, you have loved every single day of your unpredictable, crazy, mercurial life, you realised how close he was, how close you were to losing him forever, to losing everything that kept you sane, kept you going.
You saw it all: washing his dead body, preparing him for the funeral, removing his bracelet, the bracelet that signified your love and your bond, the family dressed in mournful garbs, having to let him go, giving his body to the ocean, having to sing his songcord one last time, never being able to see him again, only having to settle for scraps, for a memory, or for a vision at the Spirit Tree. You saw yourself, a widow forever, never being able to move on, never being able to be happy, ever again, because he was happiness, and he was everything and he was gone. You saw your future - never having children, because if they weren’t his - what was the point? You saw his family, ruptured and torn apart by the loss of their son, their sibling, their hero, their best friend. You saw Lo’ak, carrying the guilt for the rest of his life, rebelling against his father, going on a dark path it was near impossible to turn him back from. You saw Neytiri, broken after another loss, the worst loss a mother could ever feel, never fully recovering, never truly being the same again. You saw Tuk and Kiri withdraw into themselves, the light they carried with them everywhere they went snuffed out at the calamitous loss. You saw it all and it killed you, it gutted you from the inside out.
But he was here. He was still here. Everything you saw, every nightmare your mind made you watch, laughing as you suffered, revelling in it, like it always was, it was just that - a nightmare. A parallel universe you never had to live through. Because he was here. He’s just sleeping.
You knew you didn’t have time to waste. You had to go back, you had to warm his body and clean his wounds, you had to remove any scraps the bullet left behind in his organs, you had to give him blood. There was still too much to do, and he needed you. You didn’t have time to fully fall apart just yet.
“Tsireya, we need to take him back to the village, we need to go, now. Just help me put him on Neyn, please.”
“I…I’ve never been on an Ikran before.”
If you weren’t so dazed and out-of-your-mind, you would have scoffed at that.
“Oh, I think you have, too.”
You didn’t have to look at the Metkayina girl to feel the embarrassment in her cheeks and her tail swish vigorously.
“I’ll make sure your parents know this is the first time, ok? I’m a great liar. Just please get on.”
Between the two of you, you managed to place Neteyam’s still unmoving, still unconscious body on your beautiful banshee, and you all got on, trying your best to cage his body so that he wouldn’t fall.
“I’ll tell her to go slow and steady, just hold on to her kuru (queue) and you’ll be fine.”
Ok, sweet girl. We have to get back. Please go gently. Hurry.
Neyn trilled in your direction, and you can tell she was worried and stressed through the bond. You didn’t know if it was just a mirror of your own mind or if she was feeling it too. Neyn loved Neteyam. He was always nice to her, and considerate and attentive. Neyn also loved Seze, and the thought of Seze being without her chosen Na’vi, being alone, the rest of her life, hurt Neyn. It hurt you, too. It hurt you so badly, in fact, your body was convulsing slightly, pain deep within your abdomen, that almost made your ikran lose her focus, and she wobbled a little midair, which made Tsireya scream.
“It’s alright, you’re ok. We’re ok.”
You rushed to your marui as soon as Neyn landed and you saw Seze make her way to you as well. Poor girl. You and Neteyam might not have a spirit brother like Lo’ak now did, but these two, they were it for you. You and Neteyam had a bond with your ikran that transcended time, space and species, and you would never be able to replace them, as long as you lived.
The first thing you needed was blood. He needed blood. You got out an empty blood bag and the tube, as well as a needle and syringe. You’d have to work fast, and you’d have to operate on him while the blood was being withdrawn, which will hurt, but you had to take the risk, he didn’t have much time.
“Tsireya, listen to me. I need to give Neteyam blood. My blood. I need you to take that little ribbon and tighten it around my arm, below my bracelet. It needs to be so tight it hurts, do you understand? When I tell you, you need to remove it. Then, as soon as I put the needle in and the blood starts flowing, we will need to clean him and I will patch him up, ok?”
Tsireya looked lost and trembling, her bottom lip quivering uncontrollably, but she nodded meekly, looking around at all the things she did not understand or know, deep panic on her features.
“Good girl.” As soon as she did what you asked, you found a vein and watched as deep, violent red liquid flowed softly from your body to the bag. The Metkayina girl gasped, but said nothing, just looking at the blood like in a trance, removing the tourniquet when you told her.
“It’s ok. This will help him. But we need to hurry. It takes about ten minutes for it to fill, maybe a bit longer since I will be using my arm at the same time.”
You got to work immediately, cleaning and disinfecting the area where he lay, prepping all of your tools and asking Tsireya to be your scrub nurse for the day. You cleaned his body, bloodied and bruised, trying to not focus on how it was making you nauseous, making your mind sick and dizzy with worry and pain, and you knew you shouldn’t be doing this. You were too emotionally involved to be the one doing this, but there was no one else. Not Norm, not Max. Not Claire, or Tim, no one else. You took the scalpel and made a cut into his skin, asking Tsireya to cauterise wherever she saw bleeds. She was naturally good at this, you noted and you smiled at this girl who has only known you and Neteyam for a few months and yet here she was, crying and shaking, doing everything in her power to save your family from harm. You knew Lo’ak was a big reason for it, but not the only reason. You really liked her.
You diligently removed all the shards and shrapnel the bullet left behind, and sutured every layer until his back was patched up. Somehow, the bullet missed his heart, and the main arteries, which you felt was Eywa’s doing. It had to be. Eywa wanted him to live, she had to. Because this wasn’t balance. Nothing about your lives has ever been balanced, and it would take a lot of good to equilibrate all the fucked up shit both you and him, your entire family has been through. So Neteyam had to live.
Once the blood bag was full, you removed the needle from your body and got up, realising quickly you shouldn’t be standing up, falling to the ground with a thud. Shit. You once again had to turn to Tsireya for help, and she managed to hang the bag somewhere above you, so that the liquid could flow freely into Neteyam’s body. You waited until you turned him chest up, and then inserted the needle, allowing the blood to move through his now beating heart. Your blood. Your blood ran through his body, through his heart. Your blood will save him, like your hands did, like your body had to. You were about to collapse after losing so much, but knowing you were the reason he was still here empowered you. It was just you and him. Just you and him, in this whole world, for the rest of time.
It was hard having to turn him upside down without disturbing him or hurting him further, but eventually you and Tsireya managed to, and you did the same procedure on his chest, until that was also completely closed and clean. Your hands were trembling, and your suture ruptured a few times in his body, and it took every ounce of self-restrain you had to not cry, not to collapse in a puddle on the floor, to not scream in agony, not ask the Universe what the hell could you have ever done to deserve going through all of this? Nobody should have to go through having to lose a dad and a mate in one day, no one should have to fight tooth and nail to keep them from crossing to the other side, to patch their brokenness, whilst yours flourished and bloomed like deadly nightshade. You had to endure more in 19 years than most people do in their lives, more grief embellished your being than there were beads adorning Na’vi bodies. You were feeling sorry for yourself, and for once in your life, you didn’t want to stop, you didn’t want to have to pull yourself back together, you didn’t want to be strong anymore. You were tired.
When you finished, you were spent, hours upon hours passing you by. You felt pain in your body everywhere, kicking at your insides like a monster waiting to crawl out of you with every push. You were cramping and the whole world turned around you, and you knew you were going to pass out from exhaustion. You went to your mat, anxiety enveloping you in knowing there was nothing else you could possibly do for Neteyam at the moment, and called for your turquoise friend.
“Tsireya, when…if… the family gets back, you tell them they need to call Norm and Max. Tell them they need to get here as soon as possible. I can’t do this by myself.” You felt the world dissolving before you as you spoke, and allowed it to fully dissipate away from view, embracing the feeling of nothingness, because nothing meant no pain, and no images of your dead mate, and your dead dad, and you were happy with that.
You woke up in a daze, faintly recognising the slur of voices blending together into one indistinctive blabber, that you tried with your whole might to decipher. You tried to open your eyes, but they were so heavy it felt like lifting weights back in the lab complex as a human. Eventually, your senses recovered and you were able to both see and hear the Sullys, as well as Norm and Max chatting to each other, huddled over Neteyam’s body.
“She’s awake!” Tuk’s voice startled you, and seeing her approaching you excitedly tugged at your heart. My Tuk-tuk…
“Oh, Great Mother, thank you! Ma ‘ite!” Neytiri crouched next to your limp body and hugged you, and you winced as every part of you she was touching hurt. You saw scratches and bruises all over your body from the battle, that you were too preoccupied to notice before.
“Sa’nok.” She sobbed in your chest, releasing all the anguish of thinking she has lost two kids in one night. “I’m ok, sa’nok. I’m here.”
“You saved him! You saved him, I thought we lost him! I thought I lost him!” Her cries were ringing painfully in your ear, the sadness in them close to tearing you apart.
“Is he…?”
Jake came over and kneeled next to you, tears in his own eyes. The whole family looked exhausted, spent, physically and mentally, and you counted them quickly, sighing deeply when you found them all to be here, in the tent.
“He’s still asleep, kid. What happened?”
“I should ask you the same thing.”
You moved next to Neteyam, holding his hand, just needing to feel him, and his now much stronger pulse, and spent the next while explaining everything you have had to do and watched as their mouths got progressively more agape in shock. Then they watched yours do the same as Jake told you what happened on the ship.
“He’s dead, kid. He’s finally dead. Whatever else happens, at least Quaritch will never haunt this family ever again.”
Your eyes immediately moved to Spider, and you felt a tinge of sadness for the boy who also had to lose his father, just like you have. No matter what, no matter what atrocities this man committed, you knew better than most than the love doesn’t go away, it runs deep and the water of an underwater cavern, hidden from view and light, but there, nevertheless. You were surprised, though, when upon looking at him, you saw him shifting uncomfortably, looking everywhere but you and your family, picking at his cuticles. It was a bad habit you shared, but one that gave away nervousness, anxiety - guilt. What the hell did you do, Spider?
“How long have I been out?”
“About a day?”
You turned to Max and Norm, who were dutifully listening to everything, and you could tell how overwhelming it all was to them, how crazy and mind numbing and revolting. But it was life, your life. Your life.
“How is he?”
All of the attention shifted back onto Neteyam, who looked like he was resting. He looked… happy. Peaceful. You hoped whatever he was going through, it was better than this abusive reality, and you hope he could finally rest, until he was ready to come back to you.
“He’s in a coma, Ace.” You gasped a little, and another stabbing pain shot through you. “Look here.” He rose the portable EEG he had in his hands and scanned Neteyam’s brain from a distance.
Your breath stopped as you took in the information on the screen.
“He’s in a hypoxic-ischaemic coma.”
“W-what does that mean?”
You gulped loudly before you answered Jake.
“It means that his brain didn’t have enough oxygen after his heart stopped.” What you didn’t want to tell him is how few people actually come back from that, and come back the same way they left. You exchanged a look with Norm and saw the imperceptible head shake he gave in your direction, and once again, felt pain stabbing you everywhere in your body.
“B-but he’ll be alright, no? He’ll wake up and it’ll be alright?”
You lied to yourself as much as to them. “Yes. Yes, he’ll be alright.”
Neteyam woke up startled, deep nightmares still fresh in his mind, nightmares of a battle, of a ship, of blood dripping over him and on the floor, pain shooting through him ceaselessly. Images of his mother screaming that haunted him, images of your forlorn face as the last thing on his mind before it all ended. He breathed a sigh of relief as he took in the familiar beauty of your meadow and took in the two small bodies resting against his own, nuzzled in his chest. He was ok. Everything was ok. He was home, his kids were safe. The voice humming peacefully blessed his ears, and he knew then that you were also safe. It was just a nightmare.
He quietly untangled himself from his kids’ grasps, that ended up cuddling each other back to sleep, paying little mind to their dad. He took in the sight that swelled his heart so much he felt it was going to explode out of his chest. He has never been happier. He couldn’t imagine life getting any better.
“I didn’t know if you’d come back.” Your voice was soft and angelic, like it always was, but your words confused him.
“What do you mean? Where else would I go?”
You sighed, but patted the spot next to you so he could join you. You looked over at the two little beings sleeping peacefully a few feet from you.
“So these are our kids, huh?”
Further confusion enwrapped Neteyam like a quilt. He didn’t understand most words that were coming out of your mouth.
“So you want two kids? Not three? I always thought you wanted a whole football team.” You say almost to yourself, laughing a little with your hand brought to your mouth in amusement.
“Atan, what is going on? I don’t understand what you are saying. You’re acting like you don’t know our kids.”
You smiled a little in his direction, a sorrowful smile, but as you brought your hand up to his face and caressed his cheek in the way you always did, in the way that calmed his mind and set his skin ablaze, all the worry left him.
“They’re beautiful. So beautiful. Perfect mix of you and me. You know, I used to think about our kids, think about the impossible scenario that you and me could bring life into this crazy world, but they’re so much better than my imagination ever was. Pure and good, unlike the world they’ll never get to see.”
Neteyam didn’t have time to question you, not when the little bundles of joy in question rose sleepily and tackled you both, squeals and happy screams filling up the forest.
“Mummy! Daddy! You’re both here! We missed you, mum!”
“Did you, now?” Neteyam looked at you, and you looked like you were struggling to adjust to the new development, like you were trying to thread the ground and the situation carefully. You looked…uncomfortable. Why were you uncomfortable around your own children? Neteyam’s seen you with Tuk a million times, you were great with children. He couldn’t help the seed of doubt and fear that was growing in his belly, making him nervous. What was going on?
“Let’s swim, all of us! We haven’t swam together in a long time!” Tsyeym pushed to her feet and grabbed you both with all her might, trying to will you towards the river. He watched as you relented, and eventually got up, grabbing her on the way and bringing her up into your arms.
“Wait a second. Let me have a look at you.” You analysed the little girl, your little girl, every feature and freckle on her face. You poked her small nose with your index finger and traced it on her face, on her perfect pink plush lips and her yellow eyes, to her braided hair. You gently grabbed her queue and laughed a little as Tsyeym shrieked - it tickled her. “So you’re my little baby girl? You are the most beautiful thing in the world, aren’t you?” You turned to Neteyam, and he noticed you holding back tears. You looked happy. “She has my eyes. My mother’s eyes.”
Neteyam nodded, confusion still gnawing at him. “Of course she does. Your eyes are the most incredible things I have ever seen in my life. They are like treasures - my treasures.”
“Just like she is.” You held her against your chest and Neteyam watched as his daughter made a home out of it, so stuck to you he didn’t think he could ever separate you again.
“Tsyeym (treasure). That should be her name.”
“Atan… that is her name.”
“And what about this mighty warrior?” Kalin ran to his mother, grabbing onto your leg and holding on, attaching himself to you much like Tsyeym did. You kneeled, with Tsy still in your arms, and did a similar inspection of his son as you just did a few minutes ago. You took him by the hand and twirled him around, taking in every aspect of his being. “Look at this hair! My hair. Tsyeym has your hair, but he has mine. And look at those stripes, just like mummy and daddy, like a little tiger. Come here.” You kissed his entire face, starting with his nose and all around, ending with his human-coloured eyes and the top of his head.
“Why do you taste so sweet? You’re a sweetie pie, aren’t you? You’re mine, my sweet.”
You looked up at Neteyam, like you just had the most brilliant idea. “Kalin!! His name has to be Kalin (Sweet to the taste)!”
Why did you keep doing that? Those were their names, their names you gave them at birth. He was going to ask you what the hell was going on with you, when a loud sound boomed in the sky. It sounded like thunder, but not quite. It must have been thunder, what else could it be? The kids screaming got his undivided attention, and he rushed to their side to comfort them both, grabbing Kalin is his arms and holding him while he saw you doing the same with your baby girl.
“Shh, it’s alright. It’s alright, we’re alright.”
“What was that?”
“My love, you need to remember. Please. I’m here for you.”
“I know you are, Atan. I just don’t know what you want me to remember. Can you please tell me?”
“I can’t, Neteyam. You have to figure it out yourself. You have to try harder. We don't have a lot of time. Please. I am here for you.”
The river adventure removed the anxiety rising in Neteyam’s chest, and he concluded the boom he heard was just particularly nasty thunder. Thunderstorms were not uncommon in the forest, and the sooner his babies got used to them and realised they were nothing to be afraid of - the better. There was no reason to let it come between them and the perfect day they were having. After a couple hours, you were all soaked, so much laughter and joy Neteyam’s mouth hurt from how much it was stretching to accommodate the unwavering smile refusing to leave his face. Eventually, his family was all too tired to go on, and you all stretched on the grass, huddled together, arms and legs intertwined so thoroughly, it was impossible to tell who was who anymore.
“Mummy, can you sing for us? It’s nap time!”
“Is it nap time already? Sure, sweets. I can sing.”
In her waters, deep and true
Lie the answers and a path for you
Dive down deep into her sound
But not too far or you'll be drowned
“Neteyam…” you were hunched over your mate’s body, alone with just him, alone at last to pour your soul out and hope he would hear you, hope there was a chance. You had to try.
“Neteyam… please. I know you are in pain, and I know how much this life takes and takes from you. I know you’re probably at peace wherever you are, but you can’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I know it’s selfish, so selfish, but I need you to please come back to me. I love you so much, and I’m trying so hard, but you have to come back. I can’t live knowing all I’ll ever get is scraps of you, scraps of us. Not after everything we’ve been through. Not after I’ve seen the future, so clear and bright in my head. Not after knowing everything I’ll lose if I lose you.”
You walked to the edge of the platform and sat down next to your favourite two scientists, that you were so happy to see, and so sad it was always under such undesirable circumstances.
“How is he?”
“Pretty much the same.” You dunked your feet in the water with a sigh, looking at the way the fish swam in between them, some of them tickling you as they went past.
“How are you? We didn’t even get to give you a check and make sure everything’s alright. You gave him a lot of blood.”
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I did what I had to do.”
“You saved his life, Ace. He was dead and you brought him back to life. You did it.”
“Maybe. Maybe I just revived his heart so he could be a vegetable for the rest of time. Maybe all I did is prolong the inevitable and give his family false hope.”
“Don’t say that. He’ll wake up.”
You rolled your eyes and huffed annoyed in Max’s direction.
“Come on, Max. We’re all scientists here. What are the chances someone comes back from hypoxic-ischaemic coma? Roughly 70% of people die. And of the 30% that make it, most of them have severe brain damage, that impacts most aspects of their lives.”
“That’s human statistics, Ace. Human statistics have no business here on Pandora. You know that. You of all people should know that. You died. You were without oxygen for 30 minutes, and you came back, after chatting to your mum in the afterlife and her telling you the cure for a deadly virus. You should have faith, Ace. Faith in yourself, in Neteyam…faith in Eywa.”
You couldn’t take another word on the subject, not when you were so close to fully breaking down in front of them, so you chose another - easier to digest, if not as hard to talk about.
“Did Jake and Neytiri go get my dad?”
“Yes. They all went. They should be back soon.”
“Lo’ak said you… went to save him. What happened?”
“He… he’s not who I thought he was. Not who I spent my whole life hating. I was wrong about him. I was so wrong.”
You told them everything that happened after he left you the message, and they listened attentively and gasped softly at every turn of events.
“I… I couldn’t save him. He bled out in front of me. I will never get a chance to make it right. He’ll never get a chance to make it right. I wanted him to stay. I thought we could finally be a family. I thought I could allow him to finally have a daughter, a daughter that stays, a daughter that he got to watch live. I wanted him to be a grandpa. I imagined him teaching my kids about Earth, babysitting when Neteyam and I wanted time for ourselves. I don’t know why, but I feel like he would have been the best grandpa. He saved us, he saved me. He was redeeming himself, he could have been one of the people. We were supposed to be a family. I was supposed to have a family.”
You didn’t even realise you were crying until Norm reached over and wiped the tears off your face with his thumb. They didn’t have anything to say. There was nothing, no comforting words, no words of encouragement that would ever mend this, that would ever make this less painful than it was.
Your attention shifted onto the Tsurak that flew above water, a burst of orange in a sea of blue. Behind it were a couple of ilu and in the air, Neytiri’s ikran was flying majestically.
Jake reached your marui first, followed closely by the rest of the Sullys. You got up to help him unload your dad’s body, wrapped beautifully in mangrove leaves and colourful shroud and placed on a stretcher made out of woven tree branches.
He was hidden from you, but it didn’t matter - your imagination was more than enough to paint him right in front of your mind’s eye, bloated and bloodied, wet and dirty from having been left on a rock for 2 days. You just left him there. By himself. You passed out and left your own dad to rot, the same way he did the first time - alone. Your mind was torturing you, the way it always loved to, and you knew this image would be tattooed in your brain, alongside that of Neteyam’s eyes going vacant as you watched, for as long as you lived. No matter how much you healed, no matter how much old nightmares faded, there were always new ones to take their place, new nightmares to show you you will never outrun your trauma. Not now, not soon, not for the rest of your life.
“We talked to Tonowari and Ronal, baby girl. We explained, we told them what Lo’ak and Spider told us, about how your dad fought alongside us, how he saved your lives, and he will be allowed a Metkayina funeral. This way he will be with Eywa.”
Your tears that never ceased multiplied, and you couldn’t help the sob that escaped your lips.
“Thank you.” You ran into Jake’s arms and he hugged you tightly, stroking your hair gently in a comforting gesture. “Thank you so much. Thank you.”
“Of course, kid. Your dad was a good man, and he deserves to be with your mother again.”
You brought him to the Tsahik’s tent, and watched as they undid all the wrappings, until he was in view, and although not as bad as you imagined, he didn’t look good. You knew decomposition worked faster in water than on land, but you never thought you’d have to witness it first hand, and definitely not with your dad.
“Go, kid. We can clean him up.”
You shook your head, not removing your eyes from his body. You left him there, you had to do this.
You knelt on the ground next to him, and Ronal guided you through the required steps and rituals, until he was ready, a few hours later. He looked a lot better when you were done, and you smiled softly, allowing the salty tears to stain your mouth. He looked peaceful. You didn’t think he felt peace in his whole life, so you were at least grateful he could experience it now.
“We will do the funeral ceremony tonight. We will take him to the Cove of the Ancestors after Eclipse.”
Another stabbing pain shot through you, and you wondered how much longer your body would keep going under this amount of strenuous stress. How long until all this heartbreak broke your body down beyond repair?
You returned to your tent, getting ready for the ceremony, allowing your family to paint you in funeral markings, allowing them to dress you in ceremonial garbs, an ornate shawl covering your shoulders - all while you were holding Tuk in your lap. You were cold, you noted absentmindedly. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt cold, but there is was - shivers, like ice water in your veins, running down your spine, extending to each extremity, making a home in your bones.
You needed Neteyam. You needed him to be here, you needed him to be your light, to guide you through this time, to hold you and keep you warm as you had to give your dad to the sea, and say goodbye - forever. But he didn’t budge from his spot on the mat, breathing in and out deeply and regularly. He’s just sleeping. Just sleeping.
Neteyam was cold as he woke up from another horrible dream, a similar dream, a deathly dream he couldn’t shake from his mind no matter how much he tried. He kept being pulled in and out of consciousness, it seemed, and he wondered meekly if anything was wrong. Some things felt wrong. Just a little wrong. He took a look at you, buried in his arms, sleeping peacefully next to him, and gasped as your face brought back another dream, so vivid and lucid, it was like it wasn’t a dream at all, like it was a… a memory.
As much as he missed home, Neteyam had to admit little managed to beat waking up in this marui, where the sun was shining through the intricate web of fabrics, creating colourful moving patterns and where the salty air cleared his nose immediately and woke him up with newfound enthusiasm for a new day of discovering all the new ways this place differed from his own. His entire family was fast asleep, and he sighed contently when he felt your breath tickling his neck and your arms and legs draped loosely across his body. He couldn’t help the excited movement of his tail taking you in, knowing he got to wake up next to you every day, that he’d never have to live without this feeling ever again, that he got to call you his mate, his light… his. For life. He kissed the top of you head and watched as you stirred, waking up from your slumber with a haphazard stretch of all your limbs. When your amber eyes met his and your tired smile made its way to your lips, his heart stopped. You were so beautiful.
“Good morning, my love. Did anyone ever tell you it’s ok to not wake up at the crack ass of dawn?”
He smiled, trying to keep quiet so as to not disturb the rest of his family.
“I’m too excited to see you to sleep, Atan.”
You rolled your eyes at him, letting out an amused scoff. He rolled on top of you, pinning you down with his body. You gasped at the feeling of his hard-on rubbing against your core and he smiled at the way your pupils immediately dilated and your breath shallowed, rolling your hips to meet his.
“Atan, it’s the crack ass of dawn, what are you doing?”
“You started it.”
“You’re insatiable, you know that?”
“Hey, I have had to live for years wanting you and not being able to have you. You have a lot to make up for.”
He laughed again and laughed some more when you pressed your hand tightly against his mouth as his mother turned slightly in her sleep.
“How about we go for a swim, just you and me? Then I’ll make it up to you for as long as you like.”
You raised your head slightly to close the gap in between you and the kiss brought life into him, brought light into every corner of his being until there was nothing left of him but this feeling, the feeling of you overtaking his every sense.
He was panting as the dream faded, panic overtaking him. What was that? It felt so real. So raw. Not a dream. A memory. Your amber eyes, your blue striped skin. He looked at the version of you sleeping in his arms, human, the same human he’s known all his life, the human he fell in love with. The skin he traced with his eyes, the freckles adorning it that Neteyam knew by heart, your hair that flowed softly down your back and tickled his arm where it touched it. Your eyes that were your mother’s, the thing you loved most about yourself - that he loved most about you. The body you left behind when you did your consciousness transfer.
How were you here? In his arms? How was it possible?
“My love, you need to remember. Please. I’m here for you.”
Remember what? What couldn’t he remember? Why couldn’t he remember?
“Ace, come here. Look at this.” You were about to leave for your dad’s funeral when Norm pulled you aside, showing you the EEG scanning Neteyam’s brain waves. “Look at it.”
You did and your eyes widened as your brain processed what it was seeing. “He’s… seizing?”
“Those are ictal epileptiform discharges. He’s definitely seizing.”
“But his body is still.”
“Not all seizures manifest the same way. There are non-motor seizures, as well. But the waves don’t lie, Ace. He’s seizing. And we can’t know for sure, because we didn’t see Kiri’s brain when she seized, but I think it’s the same kind of seizures. She had interictal activity in her prefrontal when we got to her.”
Your brain felt like it was short-circuiting taking in all of the information and trying to process it, at the same time as dealing with the horrible pain shooting through you and the heartbreak of having to bury your dad without your mate by your side. The world was fading around you, but you knew you had to push through, at least until the end of the ceremony.
If Neteyam’s seizures were the same as Kiri’s, maybe the coma was a lot more than what they thought, than what you thought. Maybe it has something to do with Eywa. Could it be? That he was trapped, just like your mum had been? Could it be that you could find him? Finally see him again? That you could get him back?
Your body quickly caught up to you as the pain became unbearable, and you screamed loudly without meaning to as you felt cramping in your abdomen, like life was being torn away from you with every second passing. The marui and everyone around it quickly disappeared from view, and you felt yourself collapse to the ground and into deep slumber. Maybe you could finally rest.
You woke up confused and numb. The world slowly came back into focus, as did your family members going in between you and Neteyam, unable to figure out who they should worry for at any current moment. You glanced at your arm and then above you, and said a silent prayer of gratitude for Norm and Max, who decided to give you some morphine for the pain. As Lo’ak took note of your cognisance, he let out a scream that came out more like a pained yelp.
“She’s awake. She’s awake.”
Jake rushed to your side and took your face in both his hands, alarmingly checking on you, eyes darting over every piece of you they could cover. Then a look of deep sorrow replaced his previous one, and you felt the panic rise in you once more, not enough morphine in the world to keep the ugly feeling at bay.
“What happened?” Was Neteyam ok? Was everyone ok? What else could possibly be wrong? It didn’t feel like there was anything in this world that could make this whole ordeal somehow worse.
“You… You passed out, kid.”
Norm’s body was trailing all around you, checking on your vitals and on the other IV you know realised were flowing into your body from various sites.
“Just please tell me. You’re looking at me like you have something to tell me, and I just need to know. Please. I just need to know.”
“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I’m so, so sorry.”
Your entire family encircled you, holding onto you, your arms, your hands, your legs. Looking at you sorrowfully, mournfully, and you felt like you were one sentence away from passing out again.
Max spoke. “The stress… everything you went through the past couple of days, it put a lot of strain on your body. A lot more than it could take.”
“Honey… you had a miscarriage.”
You were wrong, you thought as you felt the consciousness slip away from your grasp once more. There was one thing in this world that could make this whole ordeal somehow worse.
Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja
@lovekeeho @trixscarlett
*poem by Nikki Ursula - Seventy Years of Sleep #4
#neteyam#neteyam x human!reader#neteyam x reader#neteyam fanfic#neteyam reader#neteyam sully#avatar#avatar twow#avatar fanfic#neteyam x avatar!reader#neteyam sully fanfiction#neteyam angst#awow#awow neteyam#avatar loak#jake sully#dilf jake sully#sully!reader#sully family x reader#sully family x sully!reader#neteyam avatar#avatar fanfiction
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Bloody Under the Moonlight
Bakugo x fem!reader
MHA
Warnings: Blood, injury, cursing, i am not a doctor so the terms/things in this may not be accurate please don't come at me.
Word Count: 436
Genre - Angst, fluff
He didn't want to be here, at your door. No, no he wished he was anywhere else. Your his girlfriend, it's 2AM, you don't wanna see him on your porch covered in blood and scratches and bruises. 'Open the damn door' He thinks, continuously knocking on it. He sees the knob moving to the right, and hears the creaking of the hinges. "Who- woah, what happened?" You ask, concerned once you see his state. You can tell nothing good happened, even in the dark night with the faint moonlight you can still see blood and gashes covering his body. He looks at your tired figure, seeing your messy hair and silk oversized tee shirt. "I... I don't wanna intrude alright? I just need your first aid kit then I'm on my way out... I'm sorry to wake you.." He says, looking down ashamedly, a tear threatening to fall from his eye. "Hey, hey it's okay, come in love." You open the door, allowing him to enter. You run into the bathroom to grab the first aid kit, meanwhile he takes a seat on the counter. You come back to the kitchen, opening the kit and grabbing rubbing alcohol to clean up the dried blood. "No, Y/N, I can do it myself, just- give me the kit okay? I'll bring it back tomorrow." "Nuh uh. You're gonna sit here and let me clean you up okay?" You say, focusing on cleaning off the wound on his chest, while he stays silent because he knows arguing about this with you is a lost cause. He thinks of what he could possibly say to make this situation less painful and awkward for him then it already is. "Thank you" He whispers, looking at your concentrated face while you grab the bandages from the box. "Thank you for actually coming to me this time. Katsuki, you know you can't deal with everything on your own, and that's fucking fine, alright? I come to you when I'm sad, or hurt, or mad, you can come to me too alright? I love you idiot, deal with it." You say, looking at him lovingly. "God your perfect." He says, leaning into your touch.
You finish cleaning him wounds after a painstakingly long time, and you grab him some clean clothes. "Thank you, Y/N, really..." He says, grabbing his stuff, getting ready to go back to his place. "where do you think your going? Your just gonna leave after I do that for you? No cuddles?" You say jokingly, putting your hands on your hips and tilting your head with a smile.
I hope you enjoyed this, likes and reblogs are appreciated, if you have a request please send it, I do a lot of fandoms, check out my page!
(º–º)
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I mean this in the best way but watching your slow mental breakdown about crazy ex girlfriend is very entertaining
ok listen. pov you see me, in bed after a long day (crying, stress etc etc), i am finding ways to soothe myself. so what do i do? i go back to my hyperfixations of old i.e. crazy ex girlfriend.
it was an AMAZING show like COME ON there was so much positive representation of so many issues and not even in like a braggy way, they were just people living their lives and rebecca bunch?? oh my god don't even get me STARTED on her she represents me at my darkest times, she makes me feel like i deserve a happy ending, a good life, she makes me feel like i can be BETTER. like oh my god her arc of falling to pieces and then picking herself up again and then slowly stabilising is just so REAL to me and satisfying to watch, her self loathing and then self confidence, her fury, her sadness, her happiness, her strength like oh my goddddd
And ALSO!!! IT'S A GOD DAMN MUSICAL!! An amazing one at that!! it just is so clever and hilarious and witty and real and heart wrenching (to this day i have not managed to watch the very last episode cause i'll never stop crying, it's not a sad ending it just makes me emotional). the main cast is like well-fleshed out, they each get their moment and i genuinely love all of them
crazy ex girlfriend is a wonderful story about a woman who doesn't move to west covina, california to chase her ex boyfriend please watch it
(josh chan frustrates me, i would've loved her to be with greg but i understand why that couldn't happen, NATHANIEL MY BELOVEDDD)
thank you for enabling the rant this has been very enjoyable
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when boygenius said "who would i be without you without them" and "in another life we were arsonists" and "mama told me that it don't run on wishes but that i should have fun pushing the flowers that come up into the front of a shotgun so many hills to die on" and "you know how i get when i'm wrong" and "i can feel myself becoming somebody i'm not" and "i'm twenty-seven and i don't know who i am but i know what i want" and "when you don't know who you are you fuck around and find out" and "you've never done me wrong except for that one time that we don't talk about because it doesn't matter anymore who won the fight? i don't know we're not keeping score" and "it feels good to be known so well i can't hide from you like i hide from myself i remember who i am when i'm with you your love is tough your love is tried and true-blue" and "wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it" and "i'll pretend bein' with you doesn't feel like drowning" and "i don't know why i am the way i am" and "half a mind that keeps the other second guessing" and "always an angel never a god" and "if this isn't love then what the fuck is it? i guess just let me pretend" and "i don't wanna die, that's a lie but I'm afraid to get sick i don't know what that is" and "if you're not enough then i give up and then nothing is" and "i used to think if i just closed my eyes i'd disappear" and "you said i might like you less now that you know me so well" and "i never thought you'd happen to me, i never thought you'd happen to me" and "if nothing matters, man, that's a relief" and "you could absolutely break my heart that's how i know that we're in love" and "will you still love me if it turns out i'm insane? i know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway" and "i'll be feeling lonely so i'll walk to karaoke sing the song you wrote about me, never once checking the words i hope that no one sings along, i hope i'm not a regular" and "damn that makes me sad it doesn't have to be like that if you rewrite your life may i still play a part?" and "salt in my lungs, holding my breath, makin' peace with my inevitable death" and "i guess i did alright considering" and "tried to be a halfway decent friend wound up a bad comedian an honest fool with more bad habits than you can count" and "there we were was anyone ever do young? breakin' curfew with illegal fireworks unpackin' god in the suburbs" and "you don't have to make it bad just 'cause you know how" and "i love you i don't know why i just do" and "you're not special, you're evil" and "you made me feel like an equal but i'm better than you" and "i wanna be happy"
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i've seen some other people do this, so let me share some songs that remind me of catradora.
Adora's POV:
“Her eyes and words are so icy
Oh but she burns
Like rum on the fire
Hot and fast and angry as she can be
I walk my days on a wire.”
[…]
The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”
— Cherry Wine, Hozier
•
“L-O-V-E damn 4 letters
You sugar-coat it with L-O-V-E every time
Selfish, I will never be enough
Even when I pour out all of myself for you.
[…]
As long as you love me
The good or the ugly
Everything is alright
It’s like you control me
Without you I’m lonely
But you don't feel the same.”
— Gunshot, KARD
•
“You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?
You can't love anyone cause that would mean you had a heart
I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't
Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand.
[…]
I used to think I was smart
But you've made me look so naive
The way you sold me for parts
As you sunk your teeth into me.”
— Vampire, Olivia Rodrigo
•
“You only think of yourself
As if that’s natural
I’ve been foolish enough to try to please you
It tortures me, keeping me lonely till the end.
[…]
I have to adjust to you
Every time, that’s okay
It repeats like this every day
If you're taking advantage of my kindness
There's something wrong with that.”
— Egotistic, MAMAMOO
•
“The stars, the moon
They have all been blown out
You've left me in the dark
No dawn, no day
I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
[…]
I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you.”
— Cosmic Love, Florence + The Machine
•
“Hey girl, wake up
There are better people out there
But even though he acts like that
There's still some good in him.
[…]
So foolish, I'm being manipulated
So stupid, should I break up or…?
This is the end, yes, bye bye
I want to say it but I can't
I'm frustrated but I'm stuck on you
I'm still into you.”
— TRAP, AAA (Misako & Chiaki)
(just replace “he” with “she”)
•
“I can’t stop, I found you
But feels like I’m the only one who feels this way, it makes me mad
I don’t understand
But hurting this much? I’m used to it
[…]
Don’t pity me, no, do as you always did
Because that’s you
Even if you break my heart
And spit out careless words
It’s only you for me.
[…]
I don’t want to be obvious
What if you think I’m weak?
I’m so pathetic, pathetic.”
— Love & Hate / Worthless, Moon Byul
•
“If it was for you I could
Pretend to be happy even when I was sad
If it was for you I could
Pretend to be strong even when I was hurting
[…]
Love you so bad
I molded a pretty lie for you
Love it's so mad
Try to erase myself and make me your doll.”
— Fake Love, BTS
•
“I’m falling endlessly
And you’re playing with me
You got me losing my mind, you intruder
It’s so dangerous I want it
Even if it costs all the pain.
[…]
Oh god, why are you leading me into temptation? Is it a call from hell?
Can’t stop, how am I going to escape from her?
The self-control you gave me has torn in pieces in the dark black hole
Can’t control myself, it’s like sugarcoated poison.”
— Oh My God, (G)I-DLE
•
“My sensitivity making me tense
Your honesty stabbing my heart
Why does this only apply to me? It’s too unfair
[…]
I’m not easy I hate that
I adjusted to you
I loved you more than me.”
— Easy, Wheein
Catra's POV:
“I'm breaking every rule
I want to keep tormenting you
[…]
Hate me as you want, I don't care
The more you break, the more you'll want me.
[…]
I swear I need you, my desires are growing
I’m playing with you like a kid
Hovering like your shadow and whispering to you
I’m your light and your darkness.”
— 28 Reasons, Kang Seulgi
•
“I don't want none, I just want you
If I can't have you, no one should
[…]
I might kill my ex, I still love him though
Rather be in hell than alone.
[…]
Now I'm in the basement, planning home invasion
Now you laying face-down, got me singing over a beat.”
— Kill Bill, SZA
•
“I’m creepin’ in your heart, babe
I’ll flip you over, break you down and swallow you up
I’ll steal you and indulge in you
I’m gonna mess you up
[…]
I’m a bit impatient
I’m not that gentle (I hated you)
But I want you
That’s right, my type
My heart doesn’t lie.”
— Monster, EXO
•
“You fuel my jealousy
Growing everyday
Following your shadow
I’m with you, in every breath you take.
[…]
Call me evil
I'll show you more
I get what I want,
but I can't get enough.”
— Propose, Dreamcatcher
#there are a lot more but i don't want this post to be an entire essay lmao#HIGHLY RECOMMEND all of these songs btw go check them out!#also yes i listen to kpop a lot#spop critical#spop#spop salt#spop criticism#spop discourse#she ra#anti catradora#anti catra#anti c//a#anti spop#antic//a#anticatra#anticatradora#songs
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Let It Snow (x John Price)
Day 1 of @glitterypirateduck's December Challenge!
(it wouldn't be a college kid doing a challenge if the first day wasnt late LMFAO)
This is (obviously) inspired by the song, so it's all cute and sweet. John Price coming home for Christmas for some much needed cuddles. Gender neuteral reader/ no descriptive pronouns. Use of pet names (duh it's Price). Only about 500 words, but it's nice.
I'm using this challenege to push myself back into writing, but I am about to start finals so bear with me for this first week. Enjoy :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four months.
That’s how long John had been away.
Four- miserable -months.
Stuck in the desert, sand in every part of his being, sweating day in and day out. No rain, no relief.
He’s fucking tired. He needs his love, and he needs them now.
Yet he’s here, at the airport, looking at the list of delays and downright cancellations. There’s a snow storm brewing, causing some difficulty up in the air. He’s flown in worse, he figures, but he knows they're doing their job.
His leg bounces sporadically. Another flight cancelled. Another group of people who won’t be home for Christmas. That won’t be him. It can’t be.
He pulls his phone out, huffing as he entered his password.
Still at the airport, love. Not looking great.
God, he hates himself. If not for his stupid job, he’d be home with them. They’d be rambling about something that happened while he was gone, or maybe gossiping about a new tenant in their building.
Another flight cancelled. This one, close to the area he was flying to.
Shit.
A vibration pulls him from his head, making him look down.
That’s alright, baby. I just want you safe <3
He damn near growls. It’s not alright, and he knows it. But they're so sweet, they wouldn’t dare even give him the impression that they’re sad. But he knows. He can picture it in his head- his sweet thing curled up in their bed, alone, again, heartbroken that he’ll miss Christmas.
Another flight cancelled. His flight.
He can’t sit anymore. He stands angrily, bag slung over his shoulder as he marches for the exit. People move for him- who wouldn’t, he’s huge and pissed. He’s already on the phone by the time he’s outside the crowded, loud airport.
“Nik? I need a favor.”
~~~
He doesn’t even take the elevator in their building.
He practically ran up the four flights of stairs to get to their apartment. He’s knocking on the door before he knows it, already smiling to himself. He dropped his bag to the side.
Seconds feel like hours, and he thinks for a second that something terrible happened. But then the door opens, and his love leaps into his arms.
And he’s home.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he chuckles, burying his face in their neck and breathing in their scent. “Missed you.”
“Missed you too. Missed you so much,” they whisper to him. He can hear the tremble of their voice, and he knows they’ve been crying. “I thought your flight was canceled?”
“Didn’t really think I’d leave you alone for Christmas, would ya?” he spoke, his voice deep and relaxed. They laugh, and it’s the best present he’ll get all year. He carries them inside, sitting on the couch. The news is on the TV, talking about the snow, about all the flights canceled. He reaches over and grabs the remote, turning it off.
“They said we’re supposed to get quite a bit,” they say, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes he adores.
“It can snow all it wants, now. Hope it gets you out of work all month,” he smiles, kissing them softly. “Hope nothin’ bothers us.”
“Merry Christmas, John.”
“Merry Christmas, love.”
#codholiday2023#call of duty#captain price#john price#captain john price#cod mw22#writing#fanfic#cod#cod fanfic#cod mw2
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Thanks for the tag @elsie-writes!
OC Interview
I thought doing this in a pair was fun last time, so let's do Astra and Mashal together :)
.
Are you named after anyone?
Astra: "Just the stars above, darlin'."
Mashal: "Not that I know of, but my memory of anything beyond waking up in Astra's vardo is a little fuzzy, so I guess I could've been."
When was the last time you cried?
Astra: "Gods a'mighty, I couldn't tell ya. Probably a few years back, at least. I don't know - I'd a' rather eaten bricks than cried in public when I was in Yewbury, so I guess I learned to hide my tears from everyone, includin' myself. That makes it sound sadder than it actually is, though. I just ain't the easily ruffled kind."
Mashal: "Uh-huh... Not easily ruffled. That definitely sounds like you."
Mashal: "I can't cry. Is that cheating? I guess I get kinda sad at night, when everything's so quiet and my thoughts seem so loud, but metal is metal, so there are no actual tears."
Do you have kids?
Astra: "Fuuuuck naw. Maybe someday, but I'm too busy travelin' right now."
Mashal: "...I- I don't think I do. I don't remember anything from my past, though. I'm probably in my mid-twenties. That's feasible. Oh gods..."
Astra: "Love, take a good look at yourself. You asked me how to make coffee the other day. Ya don't got no surprise amnesia kids."
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Astra: "I try to, gods willin', but I'm afraid my insults tend to come out a lil' more direct than that."
Mashal: "It's an unbecoming habit, but sometimes I can't help myself."
What is the first thing you notice about people?
Astra: "Their clothes. You can tell a lot about a fellow from the cut a' his smock. Clothes tell ya how much money they've got, how much care they put into their image, what social groups they're a part of - all sorts a' tasty details. The shoes especially. Never trust a fellow in spotless work boots is what my momma always says."
Mashal: "Wait, what can you tell about me from my clothes?"
Astra: "I make all your clothes, love, it doesn't count."
Mashal: "Oh. Well, I suppose I... It sort of shames me to say this, but I try to check if they're a mage or not. I don't know why, but mages make me so nervous. You can usually tell a sorcerer by the hands, a book mage by the scars."
What is your eye color?
Astra: "Blue. Whoever my biological dad is musta been a pale fucker, cause it ain't everyday you see Shuari skin with bluebird peepers, even if I am a lot lighter than my momma. My right eye is a lil' grayer than the other, which might have somethin' to do with my vitiligo, but I ain't sure."
Mashal: "My ocular runes glow white."
Astra: "And a very perdy white too. Don't get yourself down just cause you got a different look from most folk."
Scary movies or happy endings?
Astra: "Scary! I wanna see blood, guts, horror!"
Mashal: "You say this, and then you make me go turn on the lights because you're too scared to sleep in the dark. I like happy endings. Horror always makes my skin crawl. Or, you know, it would if I had skin."
Any special talents?
Astra: "I'm the best damn witch a' the borderlands! Ain't nobody's runes equal to mine. Ain't no one makes finer machines. But other than that, I've got a mighty knack for embroidery."
Mashal: "I'm a decent artist. Nothing spectacular, and I'm only any good with a pencil, but I'm pretty good at sketching from life."
Astra: "And you can fight with a sword, don't forget that!"
Mashal: "And I can fight with a sword."
Where were you born?
Astra: "The stinkin' shithole known to the world as Nakaow. It's a debtor village in the borderlands. All the folk there have contracts owned by the local lord and have to farm 'is land till they pay what they owe. 'Course, they only end up further and further in debt everyday since he charges outrageous rent for sleepin' in 'is buildings."
Mashal: "I don't know. I'm from the Republic province of Sulu'Oku, I'm pretty sure. I have a Sulu'Okan name and accent. I just don't remember any of it."
Do you have any pets?
Astra: "Why, yes I do! I found Mercher's Day on the streets a' Landanium, on, well, a mercher's day. He's a tubby beast of a calico cat who tends to think he's a tiger 'round anyone who ain't me. Or Mashal. He took to the fellow remarkably well when he decided to stay with me."
Mashal: "I have a hazy impression that I did once. ...Or maybe I didn't. I'm not sure. I'm happy to share Mercher with Astra."
What sort of sports do you play?
Astra: "If I got time to toss a ball around, I got time to read up on magic. And one a' those things is a mite more important to me."
Mashal: "Without physical exertion, sports don't feel as exciting for me. I also can't really improve steel and pistons through exercise, so, there's that too. I work through my sword forms from time to time, if that counts. I'd be afraid to play any team sport in case I accidentally hurt someone."
Astra: "Love, I'd pay honest money to see you huck somebody across the ring in a game of Jetj, and I'm sure other people would too."
Mashal: "Maybe once we're in Unity. There are robots there. Who knows, they might have their own sports I can learn? I'd really like that, I think."
How tall are you?
Mashal: "Ugh, six foot ten. I did not ask to be built this way. Astra said she'd be able to rebuild me to be shorter someday, but we really don't have time right now. I think about five foot nine would be a good height. I'm tired of banging my head on everything"
Astra: "Five foot fuckin' nothin'. That's what happens when you're malnourished all your damn childhood. Do you know how ridiculous I look standin' next to Mashal? Shit's tragic. I'll retrofit him if he wants, yeah, but half a' that'll be for my own peace a' mind."
What was your favorite subject in school?
Astra: "I never went to school proper, but the best lecture I ever snuck into was Applied Gravitation Runes. Now, that might not sound too excitin', but ya gotta understand that a gravitation rune is the base a' anythin' runic-mechanical you could dream a' makin'. That class really opened my eyes to how those runes could be used."
Mashal: "I'm sorry, that sounds... really boring."
Astra: "Hush, you're more'n half gravitation runes yourself."
Mashal: "Huh. Well then. Uh, I guess my favorite subject would've been art. I don't remember school, but I like art now, so I probably liked it then."
What is your dream job?
Astra: "You're lookin' at it! I'm an independent witch, not bound to some stodgy university or grant board. I walk where'n I please and run the tests I wanna run. I will admit, it'd be nice if I could get government contracts, but I'll take me freedom over them any day."
Mashal: "I... really don't know. I guess just anything where I can help people. I could be a knight, protecting travelers. I could do what Astra does and help people with magical terrors they don't understand. The specifics don't matter, just the result."
Astra: "Gods a'mighty, you're so noble..."
Mashal: "Is- is that a bad thing? Why are you making that face?"
Astra: "Ya talk so sweet, you're makin' my teeth hurt is all. It's a good thing, love. You're a good man."
.
I'll tag @roach-pizza @rkmoon @goldencomet69 @bard-coded @moonandris and anyone else who wants to play :)
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A GUTS ASK MEME ISN'T A BAD IDEA, RIGHT?
prompts from olivia rodrigo's sophomore album, guts (2023) — part 2/2.
↳ trigger warnings for mentions of grooming, abusive relationships (mental/emotion, not physical), eating disorders, body image, and negative self-esteem. some lines have been edited or omitted for clarity and comfort.
LOGICAL.
"Master manipulator, god, you're so good at what you do."
"Come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you."
"Hear all the rumors lately that you always denied."
"I fell for you like water falls from the February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried."
"You convinced me it was all in my mind."
"Now you got me thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life."
"If rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changin' you is possible."
"Love is never logical."
"You built a giant castle with walls so high, I couldn't see the way it all unraveled."
"All the things you did to me, ou lied, you lied, you lied."
"The sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said. I'm sure that girl is really your friend."
"Lovin' you is lovin' every argument you held over my head."
"You brought up the girls you could have instead
"You said I was too young, I was too soft, can't take a joke, can't get you off."
"I know I'm half responsible and that makes me feel horrible."
"I know I could've stopped it all, God, why didn't I stop it all?"
GET HIM BACK!
"I met a guy in the summer and I left him in the spring."
"He argued with me about everything."
"He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye."
"He said he's six-foot-two and I'm like, "Dude, nice try"."
"But he was so much fun and he had such weird friends, and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end. Another song, another club, another bar, another dance."
"When he said something wrong, he'd just fly me to France."
"So I miss him some nights when I'm feeling depressed, til I remember every time he made a pass on my friend."
"Do I love him? Do I hate him? I guess it's up and down."
"I write him all these letters, then I throw them in the trash, 'cause I miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh."
"I pour my little heart out, but as I'm hitting "send", I picture all the faces of my disappointed friends, because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do."
"He said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth."
"When I told him how he hurt me, he'd tell me I was trippin'."
"I am my father's daughter, so maybe I could fix him."
"I wanna get him back. I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad."
"'Cause then again, I really miss him and it makes me real sad."
"I want sweet revenge, and I want him again."
"I wanna key his car."
"I wanna make him lunch."
"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up."
" I wanna kiss his face... with an uppercut."
"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks."
LOVE IS EMBARRASSING.
"I told my friends you were the one after I'd known you like a month, and then you kissed some girl from high school."
"I stayed in bed for like a week when you said space was what you need."
"I waited by my phone like a goddamn fool."
"Now it don't mean a thing. God, love's fucking embarrassing."
"Just watch as I crucify myself for some weird second string loser who's not worth mentionin'."
"My God, love's embarrassing as hell."
"I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy."
"My God, how could I be so stupid? You found a new version of me, and I damn near started World War III."
"Jesus, what was I even doing?"
"I placed my bets and it's not worth anything."
THE GRUDGE.
"I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May."
"One phone call from you and my entire world was changed."
"Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers."
"You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers."
"I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it."
"My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge."
"I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough."
"I try to be tough, but I wanna scream. How could anybody do the things you did so easily?
"I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried."
"It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong."
"The arguments that I have won against you in my head in the shower, in the car and in the mirror before bed."
"Yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone and I make you feel so guilty."
"I fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry."
"I try to understand why you would do this all to me."
"You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy."
"I know in my heart hurt people hurt people."
"We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal."
"Do you think I deserved it all?"
"Your flower's filled with vitriol, you built me up to watch me fall
"You have everything and you still want more."
"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me."
"I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine, but you know I can't let it go. I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long."
"It takes strength to forgive, but I'm not quite sure I'm there yet."
PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY.
"Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face."
"I started to skip lunch, stopped eatin' cake on birthdays."
"Bought a new prescription to try and stay calm."
"There's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong."
"When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"
"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same, 'cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyways."
"You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war."
"Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure."
"I try to ignore it, but it's everything I see. It's on the posters on the wall, it's in the shitty magazines. It's in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys I bring to bed. It's all around, it's all the time and I don't know why I even try."
"I bought all the clothes that they told me to buy."
"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life."
"None of it matters and none of it ends, you just feel like shit over and over again."
TEENAGE DREAM.
"When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"
"When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?"
"When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?"
"When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?"
"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me. Got your whole life ahead of you, you're only nineteen."
"I fear that they already got all the best parts of me, and I'm sorry that I couldn't always be your teenage dream."
"When does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?"
"When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?"
"When are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?"
"Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?"
#rp prompt#rp meme#rp prompts#writing prompts#roleplay prompts#sentence starter#sentence starters#writing prompt#rp#sentence meme#lyrics sentence starters#lyric sentence starters#lyric starters#olivia rodrigo sentence starter#olivia rodrigo sentence starters#olivia rodrigo lyric starters#olivia rodrigo lyric meme#olivia rodrigo lyrics starters#rph#grooming //#abusive relationship //#abuse //#eating disorder //#disordered eating //#body image //#negative self esteem //
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Headcanon that Apollo's shades are actually a special blindfold he uses to reduce the visions and horrors he has. Maybe reducing the senses helps him focus on the present better.
Like in the titan's curse when he's wearing headphones mid meeting it could have not been him just being a douche and could have been him mildly distracting himself from the future to listen to the meeting. I like to think the future plagues him (haha get it plagues shut up) so when he's using things like headphones / a blindfold it means he's really paying attention (damn he's so neurodivergent wow).
Anyway. Apollo being Apollo I don't think he'd want people to worry and people would worry if he's at the wheel of the sun chariot with his eyes blindfolded. So instead he chooses to make them into sunglasses which he thinks makes him look laid-back and cool but makes him look like a massive jerk instead. (Apollo would rather people think him unreliable than dangerous and now I've made myself sad ).
This hc mainly is because Percy's reaction if he ever found out would be hilarious.
Percy: you're fucking ? Driving the sun blindfolded?!
Apollo : Percy I am a god. I can see the mortal world past what my corporeal form can see. These eyes are not really eyes so it doesn't matter.
Percy: 🙂
It's also cause an Apollo with his eyes covered (pardon my language) fucks hard. Thank you for reading.
#trials of apollo#apollo#toa analysis#more like dumb headcanon ahahaha#i like apollo as a cryptid i want him to say slightly off stuff to people#long post
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