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muted5ilence · 2 months

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Do you wonder if the rising prices and shitty economic and political and societal and environmental stuff as a whole is kind of just to do

Erm

I dont know terms well enough, but…

Weaken everyone who can’t afford it so only the elite few survive selfishly?

If you are weak you will eventually die off

If you are weak you wouldn’t be able to fight back

But this is why a bundle of sticks is so strong compaeed to a single stick.

But they’re making sure that bundles cant form. And even if we could, they use growing technology and destroying those sticks from the inside out to ensure those bundles can be broken. Every time. Without fail.

The longer it goes on, one of two things happens. One day these twigs will finally piece themselves together, and be able to overpower the technology that breaks them repeatedly

Or they all die, rot in the ground, to be consumed by the fungi and such that take the decay to keep themselves and their interconnected web alive.

Like the whole deal with capitalism at this point (which is why I’ve liked other ideals a little more when its combined for the BETTER) is that you take advantage of others for your own gain. Be unique enough to be successful to survive, but be smart enough to abuse those that are not smart enough. Eventually it perpetuates a cycle of stupider and stupider people, weaker and weaker, more compliant and complacent. That’s what work has always been, afterall. Which is what school was meant to teach. It teaches you to be compliant, to obey, to work and toil away with your life for meaningless grades until you die. The teachers dont benefit much beyond their meager pay. Students dont benefit because the system actively DENIES what they need to learn to FUNCTION. The only beneficiaries are the ones above ALL of them. The government and corporate entities that feed off of those stupid drones. Teachers, like many workers, are NOT paid enough to actually care, and are stuck being unable to do anything. If they tried to change things or speak out or do anything that might be considered manipulating the kids to believe smth specific, anything to get people to care, they could get fired and lose their lifeline. So they’re stuck in complying in order to survive.

This should not be how a society functions EVER, but it’s the BARE BONES ENDLESS CYCLE. Wars, revolution, etc etc. Every dystopia has this. I am reminded of the promised neverland.

We shouldn’t have to feel like we need to fight back against oppressors. You always root for the underdog because that’s literally how it works in society anyways.

I’m getting mixed up in my train of thought, hard to focus, but my point still stands. Flowers blooming in antarctica had made me break down over life. I want to die but I know I can’t. I can’t kill myself or let myself die. I care too much, I think. I can’t really tell inside my head, but I think some part of me (could be survival instinct, could be smth else) is just too stubborn. I can’t NOT have hope for the future!!! I can’t!!

I can’t stop myself from hoping things will be okay in the end, which is the only reason I can’t die. Because I need to live to see better days again. Despite the objective fact that there may never be better days in all senses.

Society sucks because people are just… selfish, close-minded, and disrespectful? Like in general? All things that have likely been cultivated BY the whole capitalist system.

Politics sucks because it became capitalist. And considering the whole Palestine genocide, I am pretty sure that capitalism is just as bad if not worse than communism at this point. Could be fascism but like I said before, I’m not great with terms. But its colonialism, too. Politics sucks because it’s ran by the elderly usually, or by idiots. I stand by statements I’ve made that experts should be the ones in charge. People who have done the research, have the knowledge, who care about it actively and always, SHOULD BE THE ONES IN CHARGE OF THOSE THINGS.

It kinda bleeds into the whole mental health issues that happen, because you have people who aren’t professionals saying that people dont have any issues. Inherently, those people must have issues of their own. But they have to be out of touch or selfish or close minded (which ig is related to out of touch) BUT ESPECIALLY disrespectful to do such things. And the only ones who can actively make things RIGHT with the people who HAVE the problems, say it with me… ARE PROFESSIONALS!!

Professionals, being people who were interested in the topic, did the research, learned the skills and have the knowledge, and actively care.

You are not a professional if you do not care. Then it’s just a profession. You are simply a worker at that point.

We are led by idiots. Not professionals. Perhaps professional politicians. But that just means professionals at looking good and appealing to others. Professional actors. Actors should not get that seat of power. You cannot act your way out of your genuine beliefs and behaviors—or even lack thereof. The fate of society should NOT be determined by a popularity contest, but even in school that’s promoted!!

I stand by my belief. Professionals in the specific fields of study should be in charge, and not the ones who haven’t done the research or put in enough work (like they insist the newer generations should do). This is an idealized and general series of statements from someone who doesn’t have in-depth knowledge of language: Historians should probably be in office in the way that they could be advisors. They know what has happened, how it happened, how it affects things, and how it should be avoided. Economists should probably be the ones in charge of how the economy goes, even though I’m sure they work more like commentators. I think just in general that a whole advisory council should be made of professionals. And you need someone who knows how to listen and critically think, who cares about society as a whole, to run the country if we follow a similar structure. Traditional checks and balances are not working!!!

I was told by my U.S. History teacher, a male history teacher that I enjoyed for the time I had him (before covid hit): Normal people should be running this country. But they wouldn’t want to.

It’s so fucking true, too. But like… have a council. Of professionals. Professionals IMPLYING that they care. Not workers. Workers leads to compliance, complacency. To a damn salary.

Have people who actively research things and always want to learn and keep up with those specific things, be in charge of those things!! They know more! And it should be because they fucking CARE!

If you want this stupid structure to work, with a president, then a qualifier should NOT be age. Obviously boomers are fucking stupid anyways at this point because they’re out of touch, stuck in the past. You need an open-minded individual, who actually has a heart, that can make the right decisions! Especially in times of crisis.

Please. Let it be that people who are stronger than I am are able to fight for these things. Fight for the good causes.

I’m not mentally, physically, nor emotionally strong enough for this. I’ve been sheltered. I’m cursed with so many mental issues from trauma and abuse and likely the ways my brain wouldve been structured anyways. I could never progress at the fast pace that is expected. And I am not strong enough to fight like I wish I could.

I am simply a dreamer. Someone that has been left isolated for so long that I can only think. About nothing, about everything. And I wish I could lose hope, that I could kill myself, but I can’t. I’m a coward, always have been. I could never set myself free in rebellion to fight. I would get killed by someone sent to do so. And you would lose another human life. Insignificant only when you consider humans as stock, a number in a category. But every individual matters, I promise you. I don’t do much, but I’d like to be a person who supplies hope.

(Seriousness aside, I’ve literally been called an “emotional support creature /aff”, and a “perfect friend”, so I am completely fine with this support role.)

Please… Let there be people who can understand such messages, and who are stronger than me. Because power has always mattered in societies. Don’t let money = power in the end. Money can change, because that’s what is valued in exchange. It’s all bartering. Please, do not let cotton and paper have a higher value than that of human lives. Houses have a higher value than human lives do in the current economic state. The VALUE placed on HUMANS and THEIR POTENTIAL should NOT be LESS than that of the OBJECTS MADE BY HUMANS

Break this system down. Make it bad for business if thats what they care about. And once one thing ends, dont stop. Keep forcing their hand. Make sure that the corrupt system used to overpower us is unable to do so. If you recognize they are making advancements to increase force used, I see no reason that we couldn’t do the same. Dont play games. Its not a game. It’s life. They will see it as a game because they are winning, they made the little game with a handicap in thei favor. Turn the tables. Treat them like a game. Show them it’s more than that. Show them that it is good to care. That they dont care, and they should.

Ideally no mass self-destruction lmao, ik they need workers to supply themselves and we are the workers, so dying would mean no more supply, but they have technology on their side as time goes on, so they still dont care.

You have to make sure they CARE. CARE can do good.

Have hope for a better future where people care. Dont stop caring. If you stop caring, you comply. If you comply, you die. Hope fosters care. Have hope. If you lose hope, you cant care, and that is quite literally why suicide rates get so high, isn’t it? A hopeless situation?

That is my message. My belief. And I have certain beliefs I will always hold. They are what keep me from killing myself, afterall.

Let Hope foster Care to work with Action to bring Change.

Its the ideal family system (/hj).

#maki mayhem #vent #rant #long post #it’s beyond political #perhaps I believe in a meritocracy. but only in that ‘knowledge is power’ but care is what determines who gets it.#care about knowledge. care about people. care about society and life and all that is good. for the many and not the one.#not for reach ->#free palestine #flowers are blooming in antarctica.

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literalnobody · 1 year

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Have you thought about monetizing your stories (on some platform like Kindle)? What are your thoughts on it? Candidly, I'm considering it with my stories, but also i hate all the language around "second stream of passive income" that pops up around it and I'm worried it'll suck the joy out? Idk, just interested in your thoughts on it if you have any

I have some pretty strong feelings about it, but i think it's really important to keep in mind that I'm an unpublished writer with no industry experience, either in self-monetization or in working with an agent or publisher. My thoughts are solely founded on what I've seen other people say about their experiences and my own ambitions to become a professional writer, so it's really likely I have an incomplete perception of these realities.

I want to be properly published some day. My goal is to finish The Water Dog this year, written and edited, and try to either get it in the hands of a publisher or self publish it online. I do want to make money off it because unlike my other stories on here I'm investing a lot into making it professional quality, something that's actually worth people shooting a few euros at.

I think passive income does and can exist, but it's a really aspirational and hard-to-attain level of success which I'm realistically probably not going to reach with my first real novel. I don't think there's anything passive about writing or creating art, it takes a huge investment of hours of unpaid labour in the hopes you'll break even later, and people who try to sell you on "passive income" opportunities with writing either got incredibly lucky or are massively understating the level of time you have to put into creating, marketing and selling your work. I'm in an incredibly fortunate position where I'm receiving a grant to help me create art, without which I would not be able to continue with Rose Tide Rising or write The Water Dog on such a short timeline.

All of this is to say, I think you are absolutely entitled to want to monetize your stories! Just because something is a piece of your soul/a joy to create doesn't mean you cant invite others to buy a copy, and I fundamentally believe that artists deserve to be paid for their work if they are creating a product. I think an artist can create work for free and work for profit and neither is more or less worthy of artistic merit, that creator may just have different aspirations for different pieces. I don't think monetization sucks the joy out of writing either, in fact money can help cultivate joy by way of safety, security, and time to write more. It's ultimately a very personal endeavour I think, a negotiation with yourself about what you are willing to charge people for, what people are willing to pay for, and what you are willing to share for free. I don't think any of those things are mutually exclusive with the joy of creating as long as you are mindful of your own goals and don't let yourself feel like a content factory who owes other people more of your work.

So them's my thoughts! A little scatterbrained but I think you'll get what I mean. Any time I see a writer selling their stories I blow them a kiss and hope they do very well with them. I think in this age of wretched capitalism people can instinctively view "Creator-consumer" relationships as inherently bad, but they are in fact just a reality of making a living. You're allowed to want money for your efforts and you're allowed to GET money if people want to read your efforts enough to pay for them.

#sorry this is a bit incoherent? its hard for me to funnel my thoughts linearly sometimes #asks

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foxymoxynoona · 1 year

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miss foxy,

i don’t know if the publishing industry is just filled with no one but shitty writers OR youve ruined romance novels for me.

ive read about 30 of them so far since i found you and you know how many of those that i actually have 5 starred on StoryGraph?

five. FIVE BOOKS.

four starred? TWO books.

and you know what runs through my head every time a book disappoints me?

“i can’t believe i paid MONEY for this garbage. how come miss foxy with god-tier writing writes for free?”

like this is such bullshit/;@&”$ i am SOO MAD

thing is im not even like picky with plots and storylines and stuff, so if anything im actually pretty easy to please in terms of ~originality~. you could recycle the same tired storyline or trope or whatever and id still give it a read, no problemo. as long as the characters get proper character development, im good. trust me. im an EASY reader.

no. you know what usually BOTHERS me about these ~published~ writers that forces me to give their books less than 3 stars?

THE FACT THAT THEY CANT EVEN WRITE DECENT DIALOGUE.

DECENT. DIALOGUE. THAT. SOUNDS. NATURAL. AND. REALISTIC.

LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH AND PATIENCE BECAUSE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I READ ONE MORE FUCKING BOOK WITH SHITTY DIALOGUE IM GOING TO SCREAM THE WHOLE BUILDING DOWN.

like it’s just a pandemonium going on in my system whenever i read shitty dialogue because it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. that’s how SHITTY it is. one or two lines i can let slide (im not that much of a bitch… probably) but a WHOLE DAMN BOOK? REALLY?!

mind you, these books are mostly four starred 🤢🤢🤢 some even FIVE starred and im just like ARE WE EVEN READING THE SAME BOOK?!

this is why i don’t play when i tell you your writing is a GODSEND. i MEAN that shit. every sentence literally has me 😮😮 like, you actually KNOW what to do with words. now THATS a writer.

sorry. rants over.

PS: now that i think about it, my rant could be read as me putting you on a pedestal and i understand that could put you off because you think i have high expectations from you but trust me. you could NEVER disappoint me. EVER.

I'm very very very flattered by a message like this. I have been secretly poking a little at what it would take to publish things for real, because if I could just write all the time instead of 40+ hours a week at my current day job, it would be so heavenly. I could publish real books to subsidize my fanfic writing🤣🤣

Sometimes I'll read published books and be like hey, I could write that! But then I'll read other ones and be completely intimidated by how amazing they are, and it's also so hard to be objective about my own work so I'm just always like... no way could I pull that off. I do love words though. To my writing is like baking braided bread or something, all the massaging and careful selection, and I just really enjoy it. That's why I've always been writing, even when it brings me no fame nor fortune haha, I just have to do it.

I don't know, maybe someday. Supportive comments like this puff me up with the belief I could do it! Anyone know a good agent or publisher (like if you read a book and it kinda reminds you of something I write) lemme know! 😂

And thank you for such a sweet praising note, I will save it forever for when I'm feeling down about a chapter 🥰

#asks #anonymous #personal

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ohleander · 5 months

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12.11.23

And again I say, what a wild and wooly month its been. I knew I was going downhill in some way but then I managed to cacth covid. I gotta say, it wasnt at all what I ever expected. I felt it way more in my muscles and body than anything else. I was met with the worse fatigue of my life, on top of starting my period on the very same day. Its like someone threw me in the washer and into the dryer for the past few days. All I can really say is that somehow I knew things were leading up to something big and funky like this. The energy was just headed this way. I also gotta say, these have been some incredibly hard days. Its like since I had to sit still, actually sit still, I was met with all of the rough emotions I can usually outrun. and all in all it hasnt been too bad, but I've encountered some incredibly painful moments over the past few days. I know that feeling low and being sick and tired makes you emotional. I sure felt in a similar way that I've seen the twins act. Like an emotional exhausted toddler. I was feeling so sad, so mournful, sooo tired. All of my covid fears caught up with me. I also somehow managed to get some really deep rest. I also gotta say, I feel so thankful for my work place. They do take care of me. I was so worried about not getting paid over this time but now I feel so confident that I can rest easy.. It looks like I'll be taking the rest of the week off, still. I've still been testing strong today so I doubt I'll start testing negative tomorrow, but I do believe I am on the up and up. I've been feeling incredibly upbeat since this evening started. I've been doing a good job, even though I've had some low moments. I gotta say big thanks to my dad for dealing with me when I'm so emotional. I say that because I have a hard time handling others when they're at their worst and I admire how he sticks by me. I definitely look up to him still. Dad's forever my role model, he always tries his very best. I always use him as my goodness parameter, even when I might make a different choice than he might. I think the different choices I make are just more "Selfish" ones. Dad would probably go all out and keep working but over this year, I've learned that I can make more time for myself and I can teach him that its okay to truly rest. Now here in december, I think he understands all the breaks that I take. I just never want him to think I'm lazy. Its a boundary of mine, I guess.

I'm still learning so many things and I feel sooo blessed to have this time. I am one lucky little person and I hope that those around me can feel all of the love I'm sending out. I certainly cant believe my life is what it is. I couldnt be more grateful, even if its incredibly nice to have a break. I am still practicing slowing down more and more and it always surprises me when I think to myself "looks like you can slow down even more" and its actually safe and okay. The fact that I have a feeling of safety in my life is astounding to me. I feel so incredibly fortunate that my worries are what they are, I know things could be different for me in any other lifetime. I feel the weight of how bleak the world looks right now. It never feels like enough. I could never do enough to express the urgency I feel for this world, the sadness, the panic, the solidarity with gaza and all of the humans in this world. everybody deserves a chance to be on this earth, we cannot and should not treat one another in this way. I feel as though I have such a tiny voice and I'm still learning how to use my voice and turn it all into action. As always, the goal is to do better. Do better for others, do better for myself, do better for all.

I have been feeling abuzz with thought most of the day, it stalls me so. Night time feels like a safe time to put the headphones in and rest. I always feel so alert during the day time. I feel the anxiety of the world, the urgency to do all of the things that need doing in the world. I realize that it never stops and I also cannot feel selfish for taking a slice where I am able. Its all a grand dance. I'm still learning how to work with my ego. I've never liked that the ego is something to squash or silence. My ego is someone I like very much, though they neednt run the show all the time. Thats gotta be what autopilot looks like. I'd rather work with my ego, learn how to use it to help me make decisions, help me in social situations. Still learning to unmask. And I find that I'm not alone in this strange unmasking journey. I was never prepared with how much of a stranger in this world I would feel like after really unmasking to myself. Its like my bro said, we are starting from the very beginning and rebuilding our walls and boundaries. Demolition complete, rebuild now~

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dumbbitchfrommars · 8 months

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on another note (please let me distract myself from my pathetic past times) - MY PRESENTATION WENT REALLY WELL! well as well as i am capable of. i was reading from the cue cards the entire time but my script was good and so were my slides. i was shaking but my voice was steady, and my knees didn't buckle from the adrenaline-anxiety, so i think i did pretty fucking fantastic. for the others who are used to presenting and dont know the depths of my shame associated with a lifetime of crippling anxiety - its easy to critique my lack of connection with the audience. but in all honesty... IT IS SUCH A PRIVILEGE AND AN HONOUR TO RECEIVE SUCH CRITICISM. like, my presentation was substantial enough to even receive comments. and you understood what i said, and you listened to me, and it wasnt completely terrible, and i didnt have to watch myself so i survived. and i did it!!! it makes me cringe to imagine seeing myself up there not even glancing up at them for a second but sometimes you have to do what you can to get through difficult situations. i am so fucking proud of myself. like... i can hear my inner child jumping for joy. im actually fucking traumatised from the one time i tried to present in grade 7 and the dickhead class clown made fun of me for having badly made slides. in retrospect... he was criticising me because i was the teachers pet and was probably jealous of how smart i really was. and its easy to pick on someone whos already shy. but man did that fuck me up. and that shyness carried on into high school. i cant believe no one saw me and thought hm, she looks like shes struggling, maybe she needs counselling. maybe she needs help. maybe she deserves a little compassion. instead everyone took advantage of their power over the girl raised to be a people pleaser and subservient to authority. NOW LOOK AT ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! i wont listen to bullshit from anyone. not kim telling me oh, but makeup wont get paid as much as here, oh youll probably only get around $28 an hour. GUESS WHAT BITCH, I GET THE SAME EXACT RATES AS THIS SHITHOLE. and ill be even happier doing it. no more drunks, no more creeps, no more druggies, no more aggros, no more smelly homeless weirdos, and no more energy vampire coworkers.

fuck you scott for being less mature than me, someone probably less than half your age. i am the adult when youre around and it must make you so fucking insecure. anyway. i always get like this before the weekend when i am forced back into that hell hole place.... at least i dont have to deal with the annoying ones tomorrow. and fridays are usually more fun because there are more young people heading out for the night.

working in alcohol is just not appropriate, safe, fun, or nurturing for a beautiful 22 year old girl. sorry guys. i got to go. its not my fault my energy triggered you because youre old and afraid of change and settled for a shitty job just because it paid well. LIFE IS FOR LIVING NOT FOR MAKING MONEY.

on that note, i know its a privilege to up and leave a job simply because the "vibes werent right". its a privilege to say money doesnt matter to me. and its a privilege to choose a job based on my personal preference and not on survival. but its a privilege we all have, if youre willing to work hard enough. im sick of lowering my voice and downplaying my strengths and my achievements for fear of pissing people off, for triggering people, for bringing their insecurities to light. LET ME WIN IN PEACE FOR ONCE. smile for me for once. pretend to be happy for ME for once.

i hate fucking pretending its not that big of a deal when its secretly a huge deal for me. i have achieved so fucking much in the last year of my life. i finished an undergraduate bachelors degree, i got a new job and excelled in it, literally made all the customers prefer me over my longstanding coworkers who are miserable with the worst attitudes even towards me who is nothing but kind and friendly. i started and honours degree whilst working part time - and im excelling in that too. because i am hardworking as much as everyone wants to pretend im not, and that im not that capable, and that i need things to be explained to MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE. cause i clearly have a lot more going for me that you want to believe. i might only be 22 but i was raised to work hard and strive and always find something new and better to challenge me to work towards. anyway, i also went on a trip to europe this year . though it feels like ive already erased that from my memory, cause it didnt go the way i wanted it to. anyway. i know how to handle my finances, i am independent, i am strong, i push myself. i joined a gym after years of avoiding and bein afraid and not believing in myself enough to do it. I AM PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY STRONG AND GETTING STRONGER EVERY DAY. ugh . i just wish people could see that. i wish people appreciated that...

yes i was very sad to say i was leaving my job. but God instantly reminded me why i wanted to leave in the first place. why i decided to make that application, go to that interview, and pray for months on end that my time to leave would come soon. because no matter how much love and kindness i pour into that place, it will always take and never give. i am completely drained by it. i will break if i stay there. and i cannot fucking wait to leave and know that slowly but surely, every single one of the stupid, pathetic alcoholics that frequent that place will notice my absence and be disappointed that im gone. and they will wonder why, and they will realise and know, that the people there were so fucking terrible to me that i had no other choice but to find something better. that in their own little way, they contributed to me leaving.

even my manager. i already know im gonna miss him like crazy when i leave but its for the best. not only is this crush fucking relentless and so stupid, but hes not even that great, and he doesnt deserve my respect and adoration to this level. as cute and funny he is, he is just another white man. sigh

i didnt realise i had such a rant to get out... i think scott triggered me yesterday. the good thing is i dont really notice in the moment how much of a man child hes being, so he doesnt get the satisfaction of my irritation in person. but i wont forget that he dipped and i didnt get a break after being on my feet for 6 hours straight. fuck you, old man.

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octopi-wall-street · 8 months

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Just to mention something based off your tags, Starkid is a small business that doesn't make nearly as much as you think. They do a digital release to help pay for so many things-- this probably includes paying those people we love and adore on stage. People who are currently out of jobs because of a strike. People who work so very hard to get us this content. They're putting it on Youtube for FREE in October. It's a wait, but it'll be there and up for everyone to watch. And $15 for a digital download is not nearly as bad as it could be compared to other shows/movies/etc. My point is, don't get angry over something that is necessity to the future enjoyment of these shows in such ways people who CANT afford it can enjoy it (the free versions on Youtube). I might sound like some damn elitist saying all this, but it's really not something to be pissed over. It's something to celebrate.

So I have supported SK financially in multiple ways (digital tickets to several shows, BackerKit, & Jangle Ball tour tickets) so I think I have the right to get a little frustrated over it. This is the first time they've done this kind of release schedule where it's exclusive for a month despite the filmed version being ready, I'm not yelling about the general presence of the digital release. It's not even that you're getting anything like bonus features/a physical copy, those all cost extra. What they're doing is they HAD an exclusive release in February w/ the digital tickets, which I paid for, and now they're doing another one with a product that is already funded and ready, putting in what I feel to be an unnecessary paywall.

Beyond that, I'm annoyed because the BackerKit was really not handled well. Physical rewards were delayed by several months meaning that I wasn't able to get mine, since you had to lock in your address several months early and I (and I'm guessing many other college students/graduates) had to move in the meantime. Beyond that it's been a year and there's been very few updates on the Starkid Labs projects, which is actually some of the work I was most excited about- since these are smaller scale projects all w/ an estimated 2023 release I was hoping we'd have more than just brief pre-production updates.

I enjoy Starkid's work, but I don't think they're immune to criticism just because they're a small business. Yes, funding is necessary to the accessibility of these shows, I just believe this particular model of funding is going against that very notion of accessibility.

#tldr: our faves shouldnt be immune from criticism and we are entitled to have our own opinions

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gb-patch · 3 years

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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through?

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!!

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available?

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove?

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter)

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game!

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you?

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you!

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something?

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2?

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates?

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird?

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot!

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^!

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets?

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update? I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive.

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3?

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something.

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants?

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations?

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted?

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia.

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all?

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w;

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips?

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!!

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #xoxo droplets #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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probably-haven · 3 years

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Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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My best friend, my p*rn

▸Johnny x camgirl!reader (cam girl au, best friends to lovers) ▸ 2,103k words ▸ Fluff, Smut ▸ Cam girl reader, prostitution, online bidding, heavy making out, lots of kissing, lots of touching, fingering, mentions of oral sex male receiving, oral sex female receiving, mentions of sex ▸ Requested, see anon message at the end of this drabble.

Being a cam girl is something you’re not proud of but it pays the bills and puts food on the table. Bringing pleasure to other people is not the best idea but you kinda like what you do and it’s like living a double life where in reality you’re this simple college student but when you’re live or on-air, you’re very popular that girls and boys beg for you.

Of course, the only person you trust knowing your double life is your best friend Johnny, whom you don’t is madly and deeply in love with you ever since the two of you became close friends. When you told him that you’re a cam girl, Johnny supported you all the way and became a regular to the point that he has become your anonymous generous tipper.

“User chicag0127 is being generous again- wow. I’m speechless. Thank you”

Tonight is kind of a special broadcast because you hit 100k followers and you have a surprise for everyone. “To celebrate our first milestone, I’m gonna hold an auction online, the highest bidder will be featured two times during my live stream this month....”

Upon hearing what you’re saying right now, Johnny cannot believe what has gotten into your head. Then he remembered, you were three semesters late on your tuition and the school might not let you graduate. “Fuck- you could end up with a creep! Fuck- Savings savings” he was quick to check his savings and easily closed the deal with you. He was sweating the entire time, scared that maybe the next higher bidder next to him might win you, but Johnny was successful.

“Sorry folks, but as expected, user chicag0127 is the higher bidder. I guess you will see us on my next live then!...”

After your live stream, you are more than thankful for chicag0127. The money went straight to your college tuition and now you can relax and not worry about the school holding you up for graduation. That night, you told Johnny what happened through text and waited for his reply before you go to bed.

You: were graduating together! That user that I was telling you, just covered my whole tuition.

The smile on Johnny’s face and the happiness that he felt was priceless, knowing that he could help his true love.

Johnny: Why didn’t you come to me in the first place? You know that I have money saved from my internship right? And idk where to spend it haha!

He jokes so he won’t sound suspicious.

You: it’s your money Johnny, you earned that because you worked hard during your internship.

And that night, you slept like a baby knowing that all is well.

One week later

You were sitting on the edge of the bed wearing only your silk robe and nothing else underneath. Any minute now, user chicag0127 will arrive and you're very much excited to meet your anonymous bidder. When the doorbell rang, you opened the door with a flirty smile that’s replaced with a confused expression when you see Johnny in front of you.

He was quiet. He was waiting for you to realize.

Then....

“Y-you’re”

“chicag0127”

“R-right... because you’re from Chicago and you’re Korean... fuck- I mean, come in, welcome. D-do you want coffee?”

Johnny went inside the hotel room quietly and without saying a word. To be honest, he didn’t know what to do too, like you, he’s confused and nervous. But would you rather see a stranger? So he balled up his courage and confronted you.

“You sit on my lap whenever I’m busy playing games on my phone, kiss me good morning whenever we have sleepovers, heck I already saw you naked because you don’t close your room whenever you dress up and you will say it’s completely fine-“ he breathes heavily and combs his black hair with his fingers, “I don’t understand why are you like this all of a sudden. I can leave you, know? But you can't disappoint your fans”

“Right we cant” you don’t know why Johnny feels like he’s a stranger now but you suck it up and remind yourself that Johnny paid for this. “You paid for this” you added while fluffing the pillow.

“Hey. I did not do it because I want to take advantage of you I did it because you could end up with a pervert a drug addict or an abuser” he points his fingers at you and sat on the bed with a heavy sigh.

“You’ve been tipping me for months!” You bite back, “Fine-Okay okay I get it. Uhm... wear this they can only see our lips, bodies, and not our faces” you hand him the silk mask that’s similar to what you’re using.

“This is our first day so kissing and touching only no more, no less,” you said, and upon explaining the instructions to Johnny, he proceeds to strip in front of you. Unbuttoning his dress shirt and looking so hot like he always does. You gulp when he’s only wearing his black pants in front of you, ready to remove his belt and his pants.

“On the second day, oral sex, however you like it. 69, blow job in the shower, anything then that’s it-oh and one more important thing. No talking you can whisper and make sounds but no talking for your safety. People might recognize you”

After explaining what’s needed, you dimmed the lights, closed the curtains, and setup the camera.“The live will automatically stop in thirty minutes”

“So we can kiss and touch for a whole thirty minutes?” He asked.

“Yes”

“I paid all my savings and thirty minutes is all I get?” He murmurs but you didn’t hear it. You pat the space on the bed next to you as you wait for the live to start automatically in five minutes. When he’s right beside you, waiting for your next move the room is cold and silent as he watches you remove your silk robe. He has seen your boobs far too many times, but this time it’s special like he’s seeing it for the first time again. ‘I'm sorry, he mouthed’ thinking maybe this is hard for you because you’re best friends.

‘It's okay,’ you mouth back because you would rather be with Johnny than a creep.

Slowly your faces move closer until your lips touch but not kissing yet. Johnny gave you a peck as if he’s testing the waters, then gave you another but this time it’s longer, and then another but this time his hand cups your face. It was a filthy kiss and you didn’t expect that Johnny is a good kisser. His tongue is sinful in so many ways. The way it swirls around your tongue, whenever he sucks your tongue leaves you breathless, his grip on your face is getting tighter and you feel his cock poking your thigh.

So with all your bravery, you put your hand inside his boxers briefs and palmed his cock while he kisses you. Slowly, he began to start touching you softly, running his fingers on your shoulders to your nipples until you shiver at his touch, making you stop kissing him and bite your lower lip. Johnny is amused and happy because you like what he’s doing to you.

While kneading your boobs, he started kissing you on your neck, licking you like you’re his favorite ice cream, and doing soft moaning sounds. He kissed you all over your body, making you feel loved and protected by him as always.

“Is this fine?” He whispered oh so quiet beside your ear and slowly run his finger on your very wet slit. Johnny’s finger slides up very smoothly because of your juices, he got excited because he can make you wet like this. You nod your head ‘yes’ and spread your legs a little more for Johnny and the viewers and with that, he finger fucked you before he ran out of time. Feeling his thick fingers go inside and outside of your cunt slowly. It feels so fucking good.

“Ten minutes” you whispered and kissed him again. You feel his smile in between kissing while he feels you getting near because you’ve clenching and unclenching around his finger.

The alarm on your live started beeping and the live is automatically cut off.

No one stopped when the live was over. You kept kissing Johnny and Johnny made you cum using his fingers. When you finally calmed down, Johnny kept you close and apologized. Until now he doesn’t know if you’re doing this with him because you’re actually loving it, or you’re doing this because he paid for it.

“Warm bath?” He offered.

You giggle and hugged him back like you used to, “we didn’t have sex you jerk.... but sounds good”

He gets out of bed and effortlessly scoops you from your comfort and brought you to the bathroom. The shower with Johnny turned every awkward situation around because he made you laugh the whole time you two were taking a shower. Singing different songs and thinking of what you should eat for dinner.

The next day, you and Johnny are laying in bed together enjoying the quietness of the hotel room like you guys did not do something filthy last night. Lips on your forehead hands at the back of your head, you hear his steady heartbeat and you’re actually happy that he is the one who did it.

You’re not with user chicag0127, you’re with Johnny. Things might take time but what he’s doing for you is heartwarming and stupid all the same time.

Second day

Johnny had a few ideas for day two. For starters, he really wanted to fuck your mouth and cum inside it. But it doesn’t feel right doing it to you, he loves you way too much for a thousand people see him do that to you. So he decided he’ll just tire you out the whole thirty minutes.

Your legs are perfectly spread and Johnny’s fingers spread your pussy lips as he licks up and down on your slit. It’s been a good twenty minutes already and your legs feel like jelly after cumming two times. When he felt your legs shaking and you’re breathing heavily, he stopped and kissed you all the way until he reaches your lips and automatically cups your boobs. You feel his very hard cock poking your thigh like he’s going to put it inside you any minute.

Surprisingly, you feel the tip of his head glide on your slit and you gave him a push as a warning but your strength is nothing compared to Johnny’s. “I will not put it in. Trust me on this” he whispered to you.

Nervous, but his lips calmed you in an instant, you trusted Johnny with his plan and let him do whatever he wants.

He continued to grind and gliding his cock on your wet slit and you are very thankful that you trusted him. You smile when he rolls his hips, you grip Johnny’s shoulders when you started being sensitive and then you don’t know what has gotten into you but you rolled your hips and put his head inside your cunt. You kissed him as you grind underneath him and he did not expect that from you.

He noticed you’re liking it too much, so he stopped then the alarm beeps and you thought he was regretting it. You let out a heavy sigh and covered yourself with the thick sheets, avoiding Johnny’s gaze.

“I stopped because I didn’t want any cameras involved when we do it”

Johnny started kissing your exposed shoulder, your neck, and your lips until he earns a smile from you. “let's go out on a date. A proper date. I’ve been always in love with y/n, and I’m sorry we have to get to this part first. I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry for using your work to express my feelings to you”

The way Johnny confessed to you is something you will never forget. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more so there's no harm in giving this a chance. You kissed him and invited him under the covers with you, “Let’s have a house date, we can cook. No more expensive stuff please, you’ve given so much money for the past few months” you rake your fingers through his hair and boops his noise.

“Anything for you” he smiled and reached for your lips again.

That night, you and Johnny stayed in the hotel bed and ordered ramen for dinner.

↩︎prev next▶︎

Hello!!! I hope you love this because I enjoyed making this to the point that I want it to be a full fic but I dont have the time yet :( thank you for requesting!

#nct smut #nct-writers #neosmutcollective #kpopscape #cznnet #neowritingsnet #johnny smut #nct johnny smut #johnny x reader #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct drabbles #nct imagine

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nat-20s · 3 years

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#10?

prompt 10- recognizing the other's voice in a crowded room

so uhh u didn't specify this being a pairing, and it ended up jonmartin lol

this is like? an au where one of the domains of the lonely (and also maybe stranger) plays off the specific loneliness that comes with parties. u kno the one, where you have fun for about an hour and then realize that you're fundamentally isolated and you need a breather?

anyway

~*~

Upon opening his eyes, he is not where he last remembers being. He is not sure how long his disorientation will last, but considering he's standing up right, at the edge of a crowded ballroom, he suspects it may be the entire time that he's here.

He had fallen asleep on the couch, the TV blaring away on a program he didn't know any of the details of. It hadn't mattered what was playing, as long as it had some of the natural rise and fall of other people speaking. He had been severely mising that lately, those gentle rhythms of conversation, and trying to listen to an audiobook while staring at his bedroom's popcorn ceiling just wasn't cutting it. So, TV dreaming it was.

Oh, that could be what was going on. An elaborate dream, constructed from the sound of a scenario he hadn't paid any attention to. He didn't think he'd fallen asleep watching anything to spark this kind of dreamscape, but that didn't mean much. It'd be oddly lucid, for a dream. And oddly sharp. His dreams, much like his memories, were always somewhat clouded over, and never as colorful as reality. Even his grayest waking days, of which there were many, had colors more distinct than what appeared in his mind's eye.

Simple test: he could never read or write in dreams. The words always swirled and distorted, and he somehow lost all manual dexterity. He needed a book, or a pencil, or both. He began to wander the ballroom, and abruptly realized that this was a masquerade, everyone wearing elaborate costumes with animal shaped masks. Did he fit in? Did he belong? He hoped he wasn't in what he fell asleep in, the worn hoodie and sweatpants barely worth making a grocery run in. The outside world wasn't supposed to see him looking comfortable, but presentable. He liked to think that if he left the apartment appearing at least somewhat put together, maybe people would believe that extended to other areas of his life. That it would be easier to ignore the increasingly dark circles under his eyes, that his nice sweater had been getting gradually looser as the tool of everything literally wore him down.

Small mercy, he wasn't like that now. A glance down showed that he was, like the rest of the guests? Captors? dressed to the nines. He has a suspicion that his own elaborate outfit, dark blues with gold and pearl embroidery, was a part of it. It was not a mercy to blend in here, it was a design element. Standing out would result in being noticed, being noticed meant being seen as an individual, and they can't have that.

It is with that line of thinking that he suddenly becomes aware of the weight of the mask on his face, the restriction of his sight through eyeholes. Looking into a teapot that's been polished to a mirrored shine, he see that he bears the incredibly crafted face of a field mouse. It would almost be plain, if it didn't have matching embroidery to his coat.

Fitting, he thought. It made him look smaller than he was, and he had so often wished to go unnoticed. A fly would've also worked, but he imagines it would be rather hard to make that into a suitably beautiful mask. Either way, he was level with the rest of the crowd. Even believing it to be part of the trick, even knowing that the masquerade was meant to make you false, there was some level of comfort to it. He was not going to be seen here. Instead someone more handsome, more charming, more even with his peers was allowed to take his place, as false as they were. Best of all, that's what all of them would be doing here, the whole appeal of a masquerade in leaving behind the person you loathe most and can never be free from.

Seems lonesome, for a party. So structured around the theater of it all. You can connect with countless people, and you don't get to actually connect with any of them at all.

Oh.

Oh, now this made all made sense. Crave interaction, and get a warped version of it.

He could see the napkins, emblazoned with a name that he didn't recognize, presumably the host, and, in much smaller font, the company name. Every one of them was consistent.

Easy enough to receive the message. This wasn't a dream. This was a punishment.

Hmm. Well, no, punishment might be the wrong term. Punishment implied that it was a consequence, a direct cause and effect of doing something wrong, by someone's definitions of "wrong". No this was. Torture is too strong of a word, and again, has the problem of making this seem willful. Deliberate. And maybe it was, but more likely, whatever this was had just sort of happened. A cruelty that comes with being in the universe they all happen to occupy.

This wasn't a dream. This was a consequence.

He doesn't know how to get out of here. He can't see any doors, and exits. The only approximation of one is some giant frosted glass that seem like they might lead to a balcony. They're only on the other end of the ballroom, but that lengths feels impenetrable, like it spans for miles and miles of harsh terrain.

There's a few options available to him.

One: Try to fall asleep, and see if he can get back to where he started. Lowest effort option, but he's pretty sure he hasn't been this fully awake in months. Maybe years. Something about the environment makes it feel as though electricity sparks throughout his entire body. It's an interesting sensation, certainly, akin to anxiety taken to an extreme degree, yet it's not particularly conducive to sleeping.

Two: Make a break for it. He doesn't know if there's anywhere to make a break for, but he also isn't sure how high up this place is. Maybe the balcony is a viable option for escape. Or maybe he'll find a door that had previously been hidden from him. Hell, maybe he won't fully escape, but he'll find somewhere quieter at the very least. Somewhere that he doesn't leave him so thoroughly dazed. This is probably the best option, even account for the wall of people surrounding him. But.

Option Three: Join the Dance.

Inadvisable. Foolish, really. The best outcome is..what? Is there a best outcome? Worst outcome is he's dancing forever, until his feet wear down to stubs of bone, until he dies, until he cant remember anything but the dance. Never a connection with any dancer, all of them, eventually, a blur of activity and nothing more.

Yet, it's what he's going to do. He's not the most curious person he knows, that honor goes to a man that he's been in love with for years, but can't grasp any of the details of while he's here. That can't be good. What was his name?

Anyway. He's not the most curious, but he's hardly immune to a detrimental sense of interest. He wants to know what the dance is like. He wants to see the intricate costumes of the others stuck here, and see if there's anything behind the masks. He knows it will, inevitably, leave him lonelier. He knows, inevitably, that he does not care. At least this version of loneliness is more interesting than sitting in his flat, wondering whether having thin enough walls to hear the echo of his neighbors' voices would make things better or worse. So, when someone approaches, adorned in a shrew mask, hand outstretched to pull him into the fervor, he accepts.

The dancer is competent. Neither of them steps on the others foot, and he lets himself be led. Even better, the dancer is willing to talk. A man named Tom, his voice cheerful even as he confirms that he doesn't know how he came here either. Tom shrugs when he asks if this bothers him, saying if you're going to end up somewhere mysteriously, gliding across a ballroom with a handsome stranger is hardly the worst place to be.

It takes a second for him to register the fact that Tom's flirting. It makes him laugh, and it feels wrong in his throat. The sound is unfamiliar, almost belonging to someone else, but it's brief enough not to hurt. He'll grieve all the time he's lost later, for now, he says, "How would you know if I'm handsome with this mask? Or are you just making a flattering guess?"

Tom opens his mouth to answer, a grin on his features that suggest something playful and wry is about to come out, but then the song ends. They both know, somehow, that the brief rapport they've gotten to enjoy has come to an end. They swap partners, and as much has he would like a second dance, when Tom gets swept into the throng, he knows he won't be seeing him again.

The next dancer is at a higher skill level at him, which results in nerves encroaching on what limited ability he has. Perhaps the peacock mask should've been a tip off. He doesn't speak to them, more focused on trying to keep up. He doesn't regret that they'll only have one dance, but he is slightly remiss that his own costume doesn't have feathers after watching the way they move.

The dancer after that catches him for a slow dance. Her name is Shelia, and he's never seen such a dazzling smile. He tells her as such, and she tells him that she would tell him the same, but she hasn't actually seen his own, yet. He makes an attempt, and she tells him, "Oh honey, you're waiting for someone here, aren't you?"

When he states his confusion, that nobody comes to mind, or at least, that nobody is going to come, she shakes her head. Apparently, she can always tell when her dance partners have somewhere else to be, and she doesn't resent it, but it does mean she's not going to give him her number for after the night ends. He's amazed she believes this night will end, but it's a sentiment that seems far too rude to voice out loud.

He also knows that he doesn't have somewhere else to be. If he did, he would've never joined in.

The music continues, and so does he. He tries to get names, tries to get connections. He flirts with Mark, and Nadia, and Jamie. Those people are his favorite during the dances, but losing the also feels the most acute. Robert is his least favorite, even more so than the peacock, for how incredibly small the fox makes him feel. Nothing is even said, it's just the entirety of body language screams that Robert doesn't think he belongs here, that he's not worthy of the clothes he's wearing or the hall he's haunting. Ironically, he's right. He doesn't belong here. These clothes, these people, are not his. Only Robert is quite so skilled at making that seem like a bad thing.

About ten dances in, long past the point he should be winded, he realizes two things. One, there's no pain in his feet, no heaviness to his breathing, confirming once again that no aspect of this environment is natural. Two, is that he's actually had a path. Sometime in the spins and leads and follows, he had been making his way towards the center of the floor. He denies the next partner, likely the worst of a faux paus in this environment, but he needs a moment to stop. Taking in the scene, he has yet to find the source of the music, but he has found the host of this party.

There's nothing to physically show that he's the host. His costume isn't particularly ostentatious, at least not compared to the rest of them. He's not surrounded by a horde of people clamoring for his attention. He doesn't glow or sparkle or have a spotlight on him. The only reveal of his status is the fact that the second he looks at the man in the owl mask, fear floods through him.

Now he needs to run. He needs to leave, he needs to get out, he can't let the man in the owl mask see him, let alone approach him. Pushing his way through the crowd is a bad idea, will bring too much attention to himself. However, he's not in a state to think about that sort of thing, panic gripping his actions. As he shoves his way past one person, he swears ten more people tke their place, and he, oh so close to despair, is unable to tell if there's any actual distance being put between him and the owl masked man.

As he's about to start biting, clawing, screaming his way out any way he can, he hears something that makes him stop.

"Let him go, or I will make you let him go."

The statement is cold, filled with vitrol and determination. It should only make him more afraid. But as he turns around, he sees someone he never expected to be here, someone who has come here anyway. In an all black outfit, the man's face is covered with that of a cat's, but he has not a single ounce of doubt as to who it is. And he's facing off against the owl man, the absolute fool. He's facing off against the owl man, and Martin knows that it's on his own account. What the hell? He can't...he doesn't know what's going to happen to him, what exactly the owl man is going to do, but he can't let Jon get hurt. Begging his voice to pierce through the pandemonium of people and noise, he calls out, "JON!"

Jon finds him in an instant, eyes locking. They only have a second before the crowd pushes in, before the owl man reaches out, wing-like cape ready to wrap Jon up and snatch him away. Jon simply calls out, "Balcony!" before he's once again out of sight. Martin wants to go towards him, wants to follow the instinct to try and protect the one he loves, but going forward is impossible.

The tempo and volume of the music has swollen, and he's surrounded by hands reaching out, trying to pull him in. One of those hands, much to his surprise, belongs to Tom. He stares, uncomprehendingly, and Tom shoves his hand out even further in an act of urgency. He has to participate to make progress.

He holds on tight, all the basic skill of their first dance lost. It doesn't matter, as long as Martin participates, he is rewarded. When the next song begins to play, Tom strengthens his grip, and they manage to prevent the switch. In a manner of minutes, or perhaps hours, they make their way to the edge of the crowd. Martin can see those beautiful frosted doors only about 10 meters away, mostly unobstructed, and releases Tom from their dance. "Thank you. I seriously didn't think..just, thank you."

Tom gives him a nod, his expression much more solemn than it had been during their initial meeting. "After our first dance, I remembered my kids. A daughter and son. If they're out there, wherever out there is, I need to get back to them. If you can get yourself out, maybe there's hope for the rest of us, yeah? I think you might be a tipping point."

Martin had no idea if that was true. Sounded a bit too..center of the story for him. The hero, the chosen one, he was never going to fufill those roles. But. But he doesn't know what a denial would serve, and if he can go through those doors, who knows? "Yeah...yeah, maybe. I'll certainly try."

Tom clasps one of Martin's hands between both of his own, and with a quick shake, tells him, "That's all I ask."

In a blink, Tom has once again been swallowed by the fray, and Martin strides to his goal. He catches glimpses of the owl man out of the corner of his eye. Despite the sight making his heart race, the owl man never makes it to him, almost as if the dancers had forcibly blocked his path. Fascinating, isn't it, how a crowd can turn against someone in a matter of moments. Fascinating, isn't it, how a crowd can decide to help someone in the same span of time.

As Martin stands in front of the exit to the balcony, he has to take a breath. This could be a trick. A trap. A cruelty. If it is, he'll deal with it. If not, well.

Well.

The doors are heavy, but he's still able to push them aside. The sight outside is incredible. The stars are dazzling, brilliant, and numerous, resembling themilky way that Martin has only ever seen in pictures.

It's wrong. It's obviously wrong. Martin's never been anywhere remote enough to escape the effects of light pollution, and he's pretty sure a brightly lit manor isn't the exception to that rule. Yet, that's not what's bothering him about it. He can't quite articulate why, but the sky in general should be..different. Worse, maybe. Greener?

Jon is staring up into the night sky with a fascination that confirms Martin's suspicion. After he takes a step towards him, Jon turns towards him, and a smile appears that knocks the breath right out of Martin. When has Jon ever smiled at him like that? It doesn't make sense, feels like another trick of the party, but Martin decides he doesn't care, he'll enjoy it while it lasts. "I have to say, this is definitely one of the nicer looking domains we've wandered through. Always a plus when we end up somewhere without any bloodstains."

That's not... "Huh?"

With an aftertaste of a laugh and a shrug of his shoulders, Jon tells him, "Just that, for as much as I despise the loneliness, it does at least have cleanliness going for it."

He knows of the fears, at least, but the way that Jon is talking about them doesn't make sense. He's going to ask about it, try to get some clarification, but then Jon takes off his mask. There's more grey at the temples than he remembers, more eyes than the average person, and he's stunningly beautiful. Martin's always found Jon rather good looking, even when he didn't particularly like Jon himself (god, what a fool he was. Maybe what a fool they both were). Combined with the softness in the line of his mouth, the adoration in his eyes, it leaves Martin breathless, speechless, thoughtless. Feet moving of their own accord, he drifts closer to Jon. Once he's standing in front of him, Jon reaches up, then pauses, as if asking for permission. Half in a daze, Martin nods, then leans down. Ever so gently, Jon lifts Martin's mask off. The pinpoints of contact between his face and Jon's fingers almost burn, and he realizes that despite the electrified sensation under his skin, he's been cold this entire time. Mask fully off, Jon beams at him, and lets out a quiet, "There you are."

It's too much. It's the tipping point for him to go from enamoured back to properly baffled. "Jon, I don't..what are you doing here?"

Jon smile drops, and Martin almost wants to take it back. Almost, because he needs answers, because if this is a dream, if this is a nightmare, it's more wicked than he could've ever expected. Being stuck forever in a dance with only partners whose greatest talents were being alone in a crowd is one thing, but having a..a false Jon, one that regarded him with...that acted like...that felt anything close to the same as Martin was so..exacting. When it got taken away, when the illusion shattered, it would hurt. It's already hurting, anticipation of the wound causing a phantom pain. Jon's brows are furrowed, and at least that is familiar, expected. "I..thought you would want to leave. I came to get you out."

"I do," did he?, "but that still..that's not the why? Why would you come for me?"

"Because I love you? I know I'm not much for the swashbuckling hero role, bit I figured that would make me rather uniquely qualified."

Martin sucks in a breath through his nose and his eyes go wide. Ability to read be damned, this is a dream, and mean one at that. He's going to wake up, and he's going to remember, and he's going to be as alone as he's always been. "Since when? You're not..I think we've just started being friends, and it's not even, fuck, we're not even that close! And even if..if things were in development, which they aren't, you're supposed to be in America right now. Or, no, wait you're in a coma, or maybe..no, that's not-"

Martin's spiralling is abruptly cut off by Jon taking his hands. Looking at his face, he finds Jon staring back, his eyes, his two eyes, are searching him, and Martin realizes he might not be the only one that's lost right now. "Martin...what's the last thing you remember?"

A mostly empty flat, the delightful mix of insomnia and exhaustion, and the TV with the volume turned down low enough to not bother anyone but himself. The context around that scene is a bit fuzzier. "I..was at my place. It was..I dunno, it was boring."

"Anything else. Do you remember Jane Prentiss?"

"Of course I remember Jane Prentiss. Not likely to ever forget the worst two weeks of my life."

"What about Scotland?"

Scotland? "I'm mean, I've never been, but I, uh, am aware of the concept."

Except that wasn't quite true, was it? He had been to Scotland, and Jon had been there, but when? Why? What had they..

Jon's frown deepens. "Martin, do you trust me?"

He did. Despite everything, or maybe because of an everything he couldn't quite access, he really, really did. His response of "Yes" is more of a breath than a word, but Jon understands nonetheless. Jon reaches up, places his hands on the sides of Martin's face, and tells him, "Close your eyes."

Martin does as told, and Jon brings their foreheads together, an approximation of a kiss. There's a buzzing at the base of his skull, not painful, but not particularly pleasant, either. As Jon leans back and he opens his eyes, the sky is wrong, but it is the wrong that he has become increasingly accustomed to.

He remembers.

Jon hasn't fully released him yet, asking still ever so gently, "Back with me?"

Martin nods, and Jon drops his hands. Immediately, Martin grabs one of them with his own, because while it may be the apocalypse, at least he can do that as freely as he likes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good, " he looks down, and sighs, "Eugh. Do miss the clean clothes though."

Jon gives a hint of a smile, and as he begins to move forward. "Now you understand my point about the lonely having a tidiness to it."

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll take grime over memory loss any day."

"Next domain is a corruption one, so we'll see how much that holds true."

"Of course it is."

They walk in silence for a few moments until Martin gives Jon's hand a quick squeeze. "Hey Jon?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for getting me out."

Jon replies, "Of course," as an easy statement of fact, and Martin believes it. He has to add, "And I love you too."

The responding smile he gets from Jon makes him think he might be one of the few people in existence to feel lucky after the end of the world.

#replies #fluff prompts #tma #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jon sims #anon

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

Can I get some Reiner content pls? Hcs with the kids, cooking, date nights, embarrassing moments, pets, anything!

tysm for requesting !

reiner braun dating headcanons (modern au)

college!reiner braun x gn!reader

warnings: nothing i think, lol meations of his weird parents

- reiner would be SO NERVOUS around you when he realized he liked you

- definitely started out as friends to lovers, you knew each other through a mutual friend bertholdt, but really became friends when you shared a class one semester

- when he realized he liked you it was in the most mundane situation ever,,, you, reiner, annie, porco, and bertholdt had gotten together for a movie night, and he was literally just about to put his hand on ur shoulder to ask if you wanted a drink (he was gonna get one for himself) and his hand stopped mid air when he realized he had butterflies LMAOOO

- this mf would become sooooo on edge around you,, like you knowing he had a crush was the end of the world 🙄

- annie and bertholdt would talk to him about it (and by that i mean annie would call him a big baby while bertholdt nods along) and then he'd become more relaxed with you once more

- when you two started dating he became nervous ALL OVER again

- insecurities and doubts came seeping into his mind and he wouldnt help but be overbearing at times

- he just wanted to be a good bf 🥺 he doesnt want you to leave him 😭🤚

- you two talk about it one night and it helps calm his doubts

- thats also the first night you two slept in the same bed 🤩

- he was so blushy the next morning, he couldnt look at you without his face and ears becoming red

- is a total tiny spoon idc idc

- sometimes he babysits his cousin gabi when he goes home, so when he took you with him for the first time (it was christmas break) you got to meet her !!

- shes a hyper little thing but so sweet, and she practically DEMANDS that reiner let her paint his nails for him 😭🤚

- you also meet her friends too !! but she tells you that the blond boy falco is her BEST best friend, as opposed to her regular best friends

- you can tell reiner is on edge during family dinners, especially the one you guys had on christmas day, and when you two get to campus you ask him whats wrong

- he tells you that his relationship with his family is a bit strained, primarily his parents

- he loves them of course !! but sometimes they just make him feel,,, not good

- but he reassures you that its okay, and that hes glad they didnt start anything when you were there

- you dont believe its okay but you dont push him

- he brushes the tip of his nose a lot, especially when hes nervous

- its not him like,, picking it or anything he'll just rub the tip with the knuckles of his index finger, he looks rlly cute doing it

- also tries to get you to go to the gym with him, bertie, and annie

- if its something youre into then great !! he keeps inviting you, but if you arent into it he gets a little sad :(

- but its okay ! you try to see him after his workouts with water and something for him to eat

- this is what makes him bring up living together

- i mean, annie practically lives with him and bertie now, whats one more person ?

- and its better because you wont have to come all the way from your apartment to his just to wait for him,,, you can be at HOME and do stuff until they come back from the gym

- it takes a little bit of swaying, but then he brings up being able to spoon him EVERY NIGHT and youre sold 😐👍

- you dont want to ogle at your bf so much,, but seeing him carry boxes from the foyer of the apartment to his bedroom where youre unpacking things is a,,, sight to see

- you asked him to just keep holding the box he had in the doorway of his room while your eyes roamed his arms and chest,, specifically his biceps and pecs

- YOU GOTTA BIG TITTY BF 🥰‼️

- he just stands there like 🙁 until he finally says "y/n please my arms are getting tired just tell me where to put it" lol No ❤️

- after you move in with him and bertie, things get a bit more cramped, specifically in reiners room

- its nothing you two cant handle, just with your things there sometimes its hard to find things, or youre bumping into dressers and tables and beds

- and lets be honest reiners room isnt even big enough for REINER

- so after a year of enduring it, you two decide to get a place of your own !!

- you got two bedrooms so one you could turn into a shared office and the other you could make your bedroom, and this makes things WAYYYYY easier

- by the time you move in youre already so close to your two year anniversary

- you dont think anniversaries are that important so you guys just went out to see a movie last year, but this year ?? reiner has something PLANNED

- and u know this bc you mightve accidentally found his laptop still open in the office,,, with "anniversary plans" written out in a google doc,,, and reiner was in the bathroom and you were nosy,,,

- so you snooped and read it all 😐🙄

- when reiner brings up youre anniversary youre distracted so you say "babe ill do what you got planned dw"

- he just looks at you like "how did you know i had something planned 😃⁉️"

- ANYWAYS LOL

- after that awko taco moment you play it off like "oh i just assumed lol" AND HE BUYS IT !! AHAHAHAHHAHA

- you two go out dressed to the NINES 🤩✨ and you had this weird night on the town 😭😭

- you guys did that food trend on tiktok where you do rock paper scissors and the winner gets to choose drinks, food, dessert etc..

- then you took everything and had a little picnic in the park, and you watched the sunset together 🤩🤚

- then he took you to a fireworks show they had near downtown, and watching the colours mix with the stars in the sky was so beautiful

- it started raining after tho 😭😭😭 and you two had to run back in the rain to the car like it was a MOVIE

- it was an unconventional kind of anniversary date but it was so fun, and reiner was so glad you enjoyed it

- then he brought up what you two would do after college

- "so,, graduation is in a couple of months, and ive already got a job set. and i dont know about you but, im staying in the city after we graduate. i just wanted to know if youll be moving out or, going somewhere else..."

- your heart BREAKS bc youre so sad hes just assuming that youll leave him after graduation, WHICH YOU WONT DO

- you have a paid internship at a facility in the city, so you tell him exactly that and that youll stay with him if its what he wants

- you can tell hes more than relieved, and get so blushy when you kiss his wet face all over

- "reiner i love you."

- HE SHORT CIRCUITS. SWERVES ON THE ROAD AND EVERYTHING !

- but he tells you the exact same thing

- "y/n i love you too."

- and he really does

ive just realized this and all of my other dating hcs arent actually headcanons so much as ideas that i put in point form 😐🤚 gotta work on that 😁👍

anyways requests open hope u enjoyed

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan reiner #reiner braun #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x gn!reader #bertholdt hoover x reader #annie leonhart headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #attack on titan headcanons

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for your First Date

Gallaghers x sibling!reader

warnings: i mean, shameless shit i guess. nsfw jokes? drinking n stuff

a/n: takes place around the earlier seasons!

prompt: anonymous: “I don't know if you've written something similar before but if possible could you please write something about being a Gallagher and going on a first date? (i'm happy with a headcanon if that works better)”

your family was a bit of a conundrum

but sooner or later, they all get the news

and the newest news for the gallagher family: y/n’s got a date

everyone has their own opinion on it

firstly, the momma bear that is your big sister

“be safe, dont get arrested, and call us if your date turns out to be a freak” -fiona

and then your protective older brothers

“i wanna meet them before you go out, make sure they know who they’re dealing with” -lip

“yeah, us gallaghers have a tendency to attract some real douchebags” -ian

and we cant forget the younger siblings

“is their family rich?” -carl

“carl, stop!” -debs

“what? i need a new xbox”

“are you gonna fall in loooove?”

those kids were ridiculously adorable

fiona helped you get ready for your date (with some input from lip)

“you sure you dont want one of my shirts? i can give you one of my shirts”

“lip, im trying to look nice, not homeless”

even veronica and kev popped over to help out (and warn your date)

everyone was surprisingly protective of you??

“y/n, try these on, see if they fit”

“oh, thanks, v. wow, yeah, i could work with this”

the fateful knock at the front door

you weren’t fast enough to answer

carl actually answered

“who the fuck are you?”

“uh...”

flying through the house and pushing carl out of the way

“hi, y/d/n, come in, come in”

this kid was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of people sitting in your living room

and intimidated when he was approached by several of them at the same time

“im y/n’s older brother, and you are?”

“y/d/n”

“yeah, well, y/d/n, you hurt my sibling and you’re dead, you hear me?”

“lip!”

your date was sweating very nervously

“im fiona, y/n’s big sister. you guys call me if there’s a problem, okay?”

“yeah and i’m kevin, the neighbor. if you dont have y/n back by eleven, we’re gonna have a big problem”

“do you all have to threaten my date? who’s next?”

as you were finally about to leave, frank stumbled through the door and left you date absolutely puzzled

you just let out a very, very long sigh

“hi frank...”

“what? you’re not gonna introduce your father to your s/o?”

“y/d/n...this is frank. he’s our burden”

“well, i wont hold the two of you up! have fun, use protection! we dont need another gallagher running around the house”

awkward silence while you guys got into your dates car

“how about we pretend like my entire family didn’t just embarrass the hell out of me?”

“i can do that”

your date took you to a restaurant and talked all about your lives, sometimes you forgot how you didn’t have the “typical family”

he asked a lot of questions like “do your neighbors stay over often?” “how many siblings do you have?” “where is your mom?” “are they always like that?”

you didn’t know how to answer half of those without making them uncomfortable

after a very nice dinner (that your date paid for, your siblings were very clear that you’d better not pay, you felt bad) you guys packed up your leftovers and realized that it was LATE

“oh, fuck, we’re dead”

you were laughing very hard while you said that

but your date went cold, believing that sentence

they didn’t have a great sense of humor

meanwhile, your family was all over the place

“it’s eleven-oh-three? where is y/n?”

“im gonna kill that kid”

“just calm down”

the two of you hopped in y/d/n car and sped back to your house, it was a lucky thing you didn’t get pulled over

your entire family was sitting on the front steps as you got out of the car and waved

lip stomped forward and you had to block him from the car

“no, no lip, that’s alright”

your date sped off so fast that no one got a chance to threaten them, maybe it was better that way?

“how was it? are you guys dating?”

“debs, isnt it past your bedtime?”

lets say everyone older than ian surrounded you for questioning

“well?”

“yeah, i dont think we’re going to have a second date...but i brought leftovers!”

you all gathered in the living room and picked at the remnants of your dinner while you told them what had happened and they told you about their worst dates/experiences

just having a few beers and hanging out until v and kev left, you and ian passed out, and fiona and lip went off to bed

#gallagers x reader #gallaghers imagine #gallaghers #shameless #shameless imagine #shameless x reader #lip gallagher x reader #lip gallagher #ian gallagher imagine #ian gallager x reader #gallagher!reader #ian gallagher #fiona gallagher #fiona gallagher x reader #fiona gallager imagine

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stardancerluv · 3 years

Text

Is There Love When Dating the King of Gotham?

Part 2 of 2

Summary: Roman worries about you.

Warning: Language, angst, implied smut

Note: Some gifs are from Halston (Ewan is amazing in it!)

When Victor formally and finally interacts with the girl he grows to love. (It’s rough...I want to edit it some...but you get the idea!)

Roman was confused. You had been so happy earlier. Maybe the marks, he mused. Well he did get enthusiastic but then again, this had been the longest he’d been away from you.

Looking around he saw no one noticed your little act or at least they pretended they didn’t. He was going to talk to you.

Sliding free of the table, he got up and made his way over to the elevator.

“Boss?” Zsasz stopped him halfway.

He slid his eyes over. “What?”

“Y/N is upset.”

He swallowed, he blinked looking at the scared man. “I noticed. Do you know why?”

He scratched the back of his head. “No.”

“All right. Is there anything else?” His annoyance continued to grow.

“Falcone is here early.”

“Really? Fuck.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s my first night back. He can fucking wait.” He straightened one of his cuffs.

“His assassin is with him.”

His brow furrowed. “Then go and talk to him. Tell Falcone my other meeting is running late.” Roman looked over at Zsasz and saw something was over his face. Was that a fucking sheepish look? He couldn’t believe it. “And why can’t you talk to him?”

“She’s a girl.”

“So?” He took a mental step back. “Compare your exploits!”

“But she is beautiful.”

“Yeah, Zsasz, are you fucking serious.”

“Yeah. I can’t chat her up.”

“You can. You both kill people. Start there.”

Zsasz’s eyes grew for a moment before darkening and narrowing again.

“Look, it’s true. You both,” Roman rolled his eyes. “You keep us respectively safe. Start there. I’m sure she’d love some of your stories.” He grinned thinking of some of lessons Zsasz had helped him send to his enemies. Times called for certain actions and Zsasz had helped greatly.

A smug razor thin smile spread across Zsasz’s face. “Really?” His features even brightened. “Seriously?”

He could not believe, he’d ever have to give his right hand man a pep talk. “Yeah. Now go over and charm her.”

His mouth twitched upward, before settling back down. “All right.”

*****

Roman was still shaking his head when the elevator announced its arrival at the penthouse.

The penthouse was dark walking further into it, he could only hear the sound of his steps as he walked.

Meeting the apex between the living and the business part of his penthouse, he paused. Seeing a glow of light coming from under the door of your studio, his heart lifted. Maybe you had a deadline and decided to work. Sometimes you worked too hard. Those clients of yours didn’t deserve you.

He slowly turned the knob and walked in. He stopped, his breath caught in his throat at the sight of you looking crumbled in the middle of your studio. Feeling like this was new to him. Usually it was just him or his power and his club. Seeing you like this, he wanted to sweep you off your feet and into his arms. He wanted you to feel better. Taking a breath, he went over to you.

He knelt down and wrapped an arm around you. “Baby.” His voice came out as a purr, showing his concern for you wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. “What’s the matter?”

You pulled away from him. “What are you doing here?” You spat out.

“I was worried about you.” His voice came out darker than he intended but he wasn’t about to apologize.

“Worried the little bitch will run away while you are allowed to stray?”

Confusion mixed with his earlier annoyance. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Tears fell from your eyes. “You keep me like a kept bitch, while you’re the top dog. You do what you please, while you keep me close to keep an eye on me. Showering me with extravagant gifts, and you give me a good fucking so I don’t care when you see the next cute piece of ass.”

“Where the fuck is this coming from, is it because I marked you earlier?”

He did enjoy giving you expensive gifts. What else should he do with his fucking money besides getting a new suit or car. Or using it to maintain his power. And he’d be lying if he didn’t admit you were an amazing fuck, the best he’d ever had. But what the hell had gotten into you.

He thought you loved being his. Had you seen him talking with that new fucking singer, he wondered.

He really hating his actions being questioned. He was tempted to let you have your little fit and just go down to his meeting with Falcone. But he was also still tired from his trip, he did not need this. Especially from you.

“Roman.” Your voice cracked, and suddenly you pushed him. He slipped but didn’t lose his footing, his anger finally poured out of him.

He grabbed you then, he heard and saw you wince. “You fucking tell me what’s the matter or I’m going back downstairs, I didn’t come up here for you to scream at me.” He shook you a little. He didn’t like being rough like this with you. After being a punching bag, he didn’t like this. “I’d fuck you but I don’t want you to think I’m bribing you. So out with it.”

“I love you.” You finally spoke, your voice had grown scratchy. “Don’t you love me?”

His grip on your arms loosened. “Of course I do.” He swallowed.

“You’ve never said it. You leave notes to me with... With your initials.”

He pressed his lips together. “Baby, I spoil you.”

“I told you I don’t need any of those presents.”

“I’ve... well ki-”His voice trailed off. “I’ve corrected problems for you and people have paid for wronging you.”

“Yeah but...”

“My silly little girl,” He shook his head. The thought made his stomach churn. He had never really felt this way. He loved himself, so this churning felt good but it was new to him. “I love you. You’re the only one.” He exhaled, and he smiled. That had felt good, he smiled even broader when he saw the glow and flush come back to your face.

“Oh, Roman.”

He rose an eyebrow. “Is that where all this is coming from?”

You nodded.

He shook his head and sighed. “Look, you know me. I’m not sentimental. I’m actually quite a cold bastard. Not with you.” He grew serious. “Now, I won’t say it often but know that I do. Now, get rid of those fucking kept bitch thoughts, you are my girl...my baby...” He searched for an even better word. “You’re my princess.” He smiled. “That’s why I enjoy spoiling you so much.”

“Oh Roman, I just needed to know.” You threw your arms around him After a few breaths, he wrapped his arms around you. Damn, he never thought you could be as temperamental as him. He liked that you had a spark to you and he certainly loved all of you.

******

As Falcone droned on about territory and you quietly sipped at your drink, you placed a hand on Roman’s thigh. Idly, you had been enjoying the random brushing of Roman’s gloved fingertips on your shoulder as his arm rested above you on the cushion.

You were so glad that he had not walked away. You were bubbly finally knowing he did in fact love you. You squeezed his thigh at the thought.

You eyed Falcone, he was a large man, up and down. His right-hand woman of sorts who sat beside him, she barely had room. You could swear she had glanced at Zsasz a few times as he stood close beside Roman while the meeting went on. But who would make eyes at him. He was shut off with no sense of humor. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at the thought.

From how Roman shifted beside you, it was evident he was growing bored. You glanced his way when he pulled the last olive off the cocktail pick. It clanked against the glass when he tossed it into the empty glass.

A smile blossomed from you while sipping your drink when his gloved hand went over yours. His eyes met yours briefly as he continued to nibble on the olive before looking back at Falcone.

*****

“Could Falcone be any more boring?” You asked as you felt Roman’s fingers drift near around the necklace.

He had helped you fasten it on before the two of you went back downstairs. Now with it the only thing on your body and you still felt clothed. Though now it meant so much more.

“Yes, I’ve had to sit alone with him.” A deep chuckle came from him, as he looked down at you.

“I suppose that could be rough.” You smiled at him, from where your head rested on his chest.

“I was imagining all the things I could do to you while you just wear this; entertained me for the last part of the meeting.” A smirk played on his lips.

“Oh really? Do you feel like sharing some of those ideas?”

A happy squeal came from you as he managed to pull you even closer to him. “We have a few hours before dawn, I suppose we could do a few of them.”

@spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @nebulastarr @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @poe-kadot26 @babydoll97-blog1 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @professionalclown @chogisss @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @blondekel77 @saphic-stories @drarrylov3r @i-cant-hear-you16 @deadlymistress24 @yesqueenofthelight @generallj @thebeckyjolene @blackmasque @mrskenobi19 @bdffkierenwalker

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fallingappleshurt · 3 years

Note

hi! I'm the anon that sent that other writing prompt with wilbur being all sneaky and detective mode. Here's another one if you want! :D Tommy and Techno are being bullied and Wilbur notices them acting slightly differently and just goes and fucking beats them up. If you cant tell i really like the idea of wilbur just going full detective mode and techno and tommy just never realize it

Wish you were who you said you were

Brrrrrrr I’m bad at answering asks but here we go!

To be completely honest I really hate how this came out, I tried to make it seem better but I don’t know what else to do, anon I’m really sorry but here we go.

Some of this is actually based on real life experience! So that’s fun.

This is based in the fd!au by Antarctica bay! Go love her! But I’m not tagging her in this shit story, sorry.

TW: For Some Bullying, nothing too graphic or extra

“I’m just saying that I don’t think that it was that good of a character arch,” Tommy said, pushing the apartment door open.

“That’s because you can’t read, did you try gettin’ good?” Techno said, slipping off his shoes, ignoring Tommy’s rebuke, he looked up to the living room and saw Wilbur sitting on the couch with someone he didn’t recognize.

He was going to ask who it was but Tommy beat him to the punch.

“Hey Wilbur, who’s that?”

“Oh this is Griffin, he’s a new student and one of my teachers asked me to show him around and he’s pretty cool,” Wilbur said, gesturing at the boy next to him, he gave a little wave, “Hi,”

“Hello!”

“Hullo,”

“Griffin these are my brothers, Techno’s got the pink hair and the gremlin is Tommy,”

“Shut up,” Tommy flipped him off, heading towards his room. Techno sat down at the kitchen table, pulling out a homework sheet. He grabbed his earbuds when he heard Wilbur swear.

“Wait, where’s my phone?” The lock on Tommy’s door clicked, “Oh come on!” Wilbur jumped over the couch and ran up to the door, pounding against it furiously, “You child! Open the door!”

Griffin looked nervously between Techno at Wilbur, as if asking if this was out of the ordinary, Techno shrugged, calling to Wilbur, “Careful, we don’t want to get another noise complaint.”

Wilbur pounded on the door harder, “You gremlin! Don’t make me Jimmy the lock because I will then you’re dead!”

After a few minutes of fruitless threats and pounding Wilbur snapped and started digging around the hall closet for a wire coat hanger. Techno continued with his Government class’s work, he was so focused he didn’t realize Griffin had sat in the chair next to him, trying to start a conversation.

Griffin yanked one of his earbuds out, “Why are you ignoring me?” He asked, Techno raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not, I was just caught up in my work,”

Griffin rolled his eyes, “Sure, anyways, I wanted to ask you, why do you look so mad all the time?”

“You’ve known me for like 10 minutes-”

“I saw you in the hallway a lot earlier, I guess we have a lot of classes near each other, but you looked really mad, or annoyed I’m not really sure, but you just seem to constantly have a resting bitch face,”

Techno shrugged, “I’ve heard that before, I guess I do but-”

“Did you know a lot of people stare at you?”

“What?”

“A lot of people stare at you, or are you too caught up with yourself to notice that?”

Techno sat there, not sure how to respond, Griffin being in their apartment and him just casually insulting him.

“Heh, wow, can’t believe-” Griffin was cut off by Tommy shrieking. Wilbur had managed to unlock their door and jumped at Tommy, wrestling him for his phone back.

Griffin watched the scene before them, confusion sparking in his eyes, “Is that- is that, how do I say this, normal?”

“It’s a semi-normal thing,” Techno said, peering around Griffin, trying to get a better view of his brothers.

“Wow, I get what they said about you being pretentious,”

Techno shook his head, “What?” He paused, “Did I do something to offend you?” Griffin shrugged and walked over to Wilbur, who was just coming out of Tommy’s room with his phone in hand, hair disheveled and clothing wrinkled. They sat back down on the couch, chatting and laughing like nothing happened, Techno started back on his work.

He got in the zone, music back on, he fell into a rhythm and finished his Government work and half of his math work when their front door opened and Phil stumbled in. His shoulders were tight, clothes wrinkled and bunched, he set his stuff down on the table next to Techno’s backpack.

“Hey Techno, hey Wilbur, who’s this?”

“This is Griffin, he’s the new guy at school and he’s actually pretty cool,”

Phil snorted, “He’s ‘pretty cool’? That kind of sounds like an insult Wil,”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way! He’s just shy but once you start talking to him,” Techno rolled his eyes but said nothing, yeah he seemed ‘real shy’. Phil smiled, “Is he staying for dinner?”

“Griffin wanna stay for dinner?” Wilbur asked, looking him in the eye, Techno silently hoped he’d say no.

“If you’ll have me,” Griffin said.

“Of course, I’m heating up leftover lasagna, are you okay with that?” Phil asked, turning on the oven. Griffin nodded, “Yeah!”

Techno bit his tongue and tried to go back to his mathwork. Soon he cleared off his and Phil’s stuff off the table, Tommy, after some prodding, came out and set out plates and utensils.

They all sat down, Tommy talking about the next basketball season and Phil telling them of some ridiculous customer who tried to use a coupon that was 3 years past the date. Griffin was quite for most of it, laughing along with Phil and rolling his eyes as Tommy talked about the stupid things the other boys on the team dared him to do.

“This is really good,” He commented about the food.

“Thank you, it’s just a recipe from the pasta box though,”

Techno stayed quiet, working his brain, trying to figure Griffin out. He didn’t say anything rude or backhanded and seemed like a normal, slightly nervous guy. Techno didn’t know if he had upset him in someway or what, maybe Griffin was just having an offday? Techno knew he wasn’t always the friendliest person and he could have been more accommodating, maybe it would have made Griffin feel less on edge.

The rest of the night seemed to go off without a hitch. Griffin helped them clean up, thanked them for the meal and Wilbur for showing him around, then left.

Techno had trouble falling asleep, thinking about the stuff Griffin said and Tommy shifting restlessly in the bunk above him, sleep was near impossible.

People had called him sarcastic and pretentious before but it never really bothered him, so why did Griffin saying it make him feel nauseous? The other thing was Griffin said people were staring at him? That was never good, were they talking about him or making fun of him behind his back?

Techno didn’t sleep much that night.

He managed to get about 3 hours of sleep between anxiety flashes and panicking to make sure he submitted the assignment on google classroom but he was able to forget about Griffin.

Until someone yanked on his hair while he was walking down the hall, hard. He stumbled back, surprised, when an arm was sloppily thrown around his shoulders.

“Hey man, you’re heading to Green’s bio class right? For the first period? I missed that period yesterday,” Griffin said, Techno frowned, trying to pull away but that only made Griffin tighten his grip.

“Yeah,” Techno said curtly, trying to avoid Griffin’s gaze, “Why do you care? Aren’t you a grade ahead of me?”

“Not in this subject, I was just wondering, could you show me the way?”

Techno eyed him up and down, he really didn’t want to be around Griffin but if they were going to the same place then there really was no avoiding it, begrudgingly nodding, “Sure.”

Techno led him down the hall with Griffin still gripping his shoulder sharply, Techno didn’t know if he was aware of what he was doing or not. They entered the classroom when Techno was finally able to pull away and get to his desk, he sat down and followed the directions on the board while Griffin talked to the teacher.

More students filed in, sitting on the deks, wandering around, chattering amongst themselves. The bell rang and Miss Green introduced Griffin;

“Hello everyone, I hope you had a good day. We have a new student, Griffin, would you like to say a few words about yourself?”

He stepped forwards nervously, waving, “Hi, My name is Griffin, I moved here from Taiga Township, I’m 16, I like weightlifting and I play the trumpet,” He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck, “Sorry, I’m not very interesting,”

Techno started zone out, Griffin made his brain hurt, he seemed so shy and awkward around other people, he was polite and despite his height was overall none threatening. So why did he say that stuff last night? Techno knew he didn’t imagine it, he hadn’t even met Griffin before that so he didn’t know if he offended him or not- it all made Techno’s head spin.

Griffin shuffled to his desk, the empty desk behind Techno’s, and sat down. Techno could feel him staring but chose to ignore it, trying to focus on the lesson. Mindless note taking calmed his head and nerves slightly, it felt nice just to follow along. The class was relatively easy, Miss Green finished with their notes and gave them a worksheet, saying that if it wasn’t finished in class it was homework. Techno worked on it until the bell rang, then packed up his stuff and headed towards his next class.

As he walked down the hall he heard footsteps coming up behind him when someone threw their arm around his shoulders again, gripping the same sore spot on his arm tightly.

“Hey man, could I get the answers from Bio?” Griffin’s strident voice filling his head. Techno shifted his shoulder.

“The notes or the worksheet?”

“Both?”

“No, you should have paid attention,” Techno responded curtly, he had a short internal argument about how he was being a hypocrite.

“Oh come on man! Cut me some slack, I just moved and everything has been really stressful, please?”

Techno bit the inside of his mouth, he didn’t want to just hand Griffin the answers for something he did jackshit on but at the same time he did just move…

“Fine,”

“Ah yes! Thank you man! Wilbur invited me over after school today so I’ll get them then!” Griffin suddenly released Techno, half jogging through the mosh pit of people in the hall, “Thanks again!”

Techno just sighed and continued to his next class, arm aching, hoping this wouldn’t become a routine.

It became a routine.

Everyday after bio Griffin would do the same song and dance of running up behind him, wrenching his hair, throwing his arm around his shoulders and asking for notes or homework answers. Techno would oblige, he didn’t want to disappoint Griffin and add stress after the guy had moved from the town he spent his whole life in.

But after a week it got old, Techno grew tired of it, he didn’t mind giving his friends answers if they had an off day or needed help or a break but this was pushing it, Griffin didn’t even do anything in class! He would just sit there and throw little paper balls everywhere, he didn’t even attempt to try.

Techno heard footsteps behind him and tensed up, a familiar arm tossed around his shoulders.

“Hey man, I can’t make it over after school today-”

“I’m not giving you the answers,” Techno interrupted, Griffin balked, “Wh-what do you mean?”

“It’s been a week, you need to start paying attention, I’m not giving you the answers anymore,” Techno tried to keep walking, wiggling his arm against Griffin’s now tightening grip.

“Come on- we’re friends! You wouldn’t leave a friend-”

“We’re not friends, you and Wilbur might be but we are just acquaintances, classmates at best. I don’t owe you anything-”

Techno was cut off when Griffin yanked him to a locker bay, slamming him against the metal.

“You think you’re cool? That you can talk down to me? That’s not the case,” Griffin gripped the front on Techno’s hoodie, other hand grasping the same tender spot on his arm. Techno’s heart was in his throat.

“You either give me the answers for our Bio homework or I’ll beat the shit out of you. If you’d like a reference your little brother has seen me in the weight room, are we clear?”

Techno’s mouth was dry, sharp tendrils wrapped around his chest. He felt small under Griffin’s dark stare. Eventually he was able to choke out;

“Okay-okay,”

“Good, I’ll get them from you later,” Instantly Griffin let go of his shirt, walking away, leaving Techno to try and collect his thoughts.

Tommy didn’t really talk to Griffin all that much, he had spent a lot of time at their apartment and seemed rather nice, just a little shy. He spent most of the time with Wilbur, doing homework or talking loudly. Tommy’s hand hurt from the constant pounding on the walls to get them to shut up. He had never seen them without each other.

Which was why he was surprised to get home and see Griffin sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone.

“Uh, what are you doing here?” Tommy asked, taking his shoes off, Griffin looked up nonchalantly, “Just hanging out,”

“But Wilbur isn’t here, he’s at work,” Tommy pointed out, how did this guy get in?

“He said I could still come over,”

“That’s... weird,” Tommy trailed off, trying to find the right word.

“What is?”

“You just-just being here without Wilbur, it doesn’t seem right,”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, you’re just being aggressive but I guess that’s normal,” Griffin didn’t look up from his phone.

“What the hell are you on about?”

“I don’t want to repeat myself, of course that would also mean you would have to be shut up for once and listen,”

“Wow, you’re an asshole,” Tommy walked into the kitchen.

“You’re one to talk,”

“Stop talking shit, you don’t know me,” Tommy shot back, voicing growing louder, grabbing a cheese stick from the fridge.

“I know enough-”

“No you don’t! Shut-”

“God you are so loud man, do you ever shut up? Like at all? How about for once you just try to use your indoor voice? Or did you forget? This is why Phil always has a headache.”

Tommy paused, had he been making Phil more stressed?

“Wh-what do you mean?” Tommy cleared his throat.

“No but it’s obvious, he constantly talks about having headaches and how he wants some peace and quiet, it’s pretty clear he’s talking about you.”

Tommy swallowed, the apartment suddenly seemed too small, or he was too big, Wilbur had always teased him about his sudden growth spurt.

“What no come back?”

“Shut up man,” Tommy retorted but it had no real bite, he shuffled into his room and stayed there, he wanted to be along. He also locked Techno out, who was not happy about that, he ignored everyone until Wilbur pounded on the door telling him that dinner was ready.

Tommy walked out, heart dropping when he saw Griffin at the table. He stayed quiet throughout most of the meal, he’d laugh along with his brothers but didn’t offer much to the conversation.

Once they had finished Techno started on the dishes and, surprisingly, Griffin helped.

The rest of the night was normal, Griffin hung around for a while more before leaving, Tommy stayed in his room most of the night, anxiety getting the better of him. He didn’t want to cause Phil more stress, he already worked so hard. Wilbur helped with the bills and Techno did most, if not all of the chores, and Tommy realized he didn't do anything for them.

He messaged Tubbo, trying to take his mind off the panic that started to burn itself into his chest. They got into a call, Tubbo talking about the stray cat in his neighborhood and how it finally got close enough for Tubbo to pet, and how he now has a bandaged hand.

They continued to talk, Tommy’s anxiety starting to drip away, at least he wasn’t a burden to Tubbo, completely.

Griffin was spending more and more time at their apartment and it was starting to fry at Tommy’s nerves, the man was always there. He had also started to join in on his brother's teasing, which wasn’t a big issue.

But it also kind of was.

His brother’s jokes were always fun and lighthearted, they usually didn’t go too far and they were just that- jokes. Griffin’s jokes were stupid and borderline hurtful, a person can only go for so long hearing things like, “You’re such a fucking moron, how’d you even pass preschool?” or “Look, it’s the human version of a headache,” or “This is why you have to cheat off Tubbo, too fucking stupid to understand,” before it got too draining.

The only time he seemed to get a reprieve was when he stopped talking or just left the room all together, leaving the room was too noticeable and could ruin the mood so Tommy would just sit there, biting his tongue, and he continued to do that even after Griffin left.

He was tired.

When Wilbur had invited Griffin over he hadn't expected it to go so well. Griffin was easy going and funny, he and Wilbur would talk for hours, Techno and Tommy seemed to tolerate him and Phil liked him so their fate was sealed. He had been hanging around for a few weeks when Wilbur started to notice a few things.

First off Tommy was quiet, not every once and awhile but all of the time, he just didn’t seem to speak and if he did it was in an intentionally quiet tone.

Secondly Techno; he had been more jumpy then usual, Wilbur had tried to mess with his hair like he normally would but Techno would jerk away. When Wilbur asked Techno shrugged, “You scared me,” Wilbur grabbed the sides of his face, chittering at him in a singsong ‘baby’ voice “Awwww! I’m sorry my little Technoblade I’m sorry,”. Techno flipped him off and shoved him away.

Phil would randomly mess with his hair when bored or zoning out but most recently when Phil had gone to, Techno had ducked away.

Wilbur briefly considered if Griffin had anything to do with it but quickly pushed it away, he trusted him. Wilbur had racked his brain trying to think of reasons as to why his brothers were acting differently but he kept coming back to Griffin. They had started acting this way when Griffin showed up but Wilbur didn’t want to point fingers just yet, he’d just have to watch.

He got his answer in two days.

Wilbur had been heading to his math class when he saw Griffin run up behind Techno, grabbing his hair and pulling him back. Techno turned to face him, shoulders slumping, he pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it off to Griffin, whose eyes lit up.

He took the paper then walked past Techno, shoving him too hard to be friendly. Wilbur frowned, changing course, he walked up to Techno and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey what the fuck was that?” He asked sharply. Techno’s face faltered and gave him away but he still tried to play dumb.

“What was what?”

“The thing with Griffin with the paper, what was that?”

Techno froze, just staring at him, Wilbur could see the internal panic in his eyes.

“Don’t mentally check out on me,” Wilbur said, snapping his fingers in front of Techno’s face, “What happened?”

They stood there for a moment, much to the dismay of the other students, before Techno bolted. He dodged away from Wilbur and slipped into the crowd before Wilbur could grab him.

Wilbur groaned, calling after him, “What good does running do? We live together!” But he got no response.

Which is why he jumped Techno right as he got home from school. He had cut through a few neighborhoods and hoped a couple of fences to beat Techno home.

He grabbed his wrist firmly, trying to drag Techno into the living room, “I’ll give you credit, you managed to weasel out of the conversation for, like what, three hours or so? Nice going Tech, real clever.”

Techno said nothing, just staring at him with a blank expression.

“I’m not letting go of this so you can space out as much as you want, I’ve got nowhere to be,”

Techno scoffed, “I can definitely space out long then you can,”

“You’d think that-hey wait! Do not try to distract me, now tell me what happened earlier or I’m going to crush you,”

Techno shrugged, avoiding his gaze, “It’s not a big deal, just the answers for our Bio homework-”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? He just needed some help-”

“Yeah but you don’t give answers, I’ve never seen you give direct answers to anyone other than Skeppy and Niki, that’s not like you.” Wilbur stared Techno down, trying to get him to break.

“So? People change, why are you so fixated on this?”

“It’s just that- You’ve been- both you and Tommy have been acting differently recently, it all started when Griffin showed up and I just- I don’t know, I’m kind of worried,” Wilbur trailed off, not sure what else to say.

Techno sighed, tapping his fingers on his knee nervously, “Uh, well, you're not wrong on the Griffin thing, uh, he,” He groaned, “Why is this so hard? Griffin did kind of threaten me and I know he has been saying shit to Tommy and he just laughs it off but I can tell it bothers him-”

“Hold on, he what?” Wilbur’s eyes narrowed, “He’s been talking shit about Tommy and threatening you? What the hell is wrong with him! He never seemed like the type of person to do this- are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine Wilbur, It’s not that big of a deal and-”

“It is a big deal! He acted like he was my friend, like some timid shy guy, and then he does this shit to you guys- what the hell is his problem!” He had stood up and started pacing, fist against his mouth, eyes flashing with fire.

Techno stood up, placing a hand on Wilbur’s shoulder, “It’s okay! It’s okay, it’s not that bad,” He wasn’t sure what to say to placate his brother when he was this mad.

“Oh I gonna kill him,”

“Don’t, you get suspended and then it’ll mess with your job and-”

“Okay fine, I’ll get him some other way but he’s never coming back here.”

It had been two days, Wilbur was just waiting for the right opening. He had acted pleasant around Griffin but everytime they would run into his brothers Wilbur saw what they were talking about, things he had previously tried to ignore, Tommy’s forced smile after a joke, Techno trying to pull away from Griffin’s iron grip on his shoulder, Griffin’s not so friendly shoves, and it made his blood boil.

Wilbur knew he had to confront him that day. It was after lunch, they were cutting through an empty locker bay when Wilbur shoved Griffin into the wall, arm across his chest.

“Wilbur what the fu-”

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out how you’ve been treating my brothers?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Don’t lie-”

“What has gotten into you? I haven’t done anything to your brothers!”

“Shut up, you can blabber and lie all you want, I don’t care, but if you ever even come close to my brothers I will beat you into the ground, do you understand me?”

Griffin said nothing, he just glared back at Wilbur.

“They are very important to me, never forget that,” He let go of Griffin, who half slid down the lockers.

Wilbur walked away, feeling confident that Griffin would stay away, otherwise he’d make him.

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