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#but yeah in a couple of years we might all need to unpack what that strategy looked like from the outside.

7ndipity · 6 months

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“Nerd”

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: After Yoongi encourages you to go out shopping with his friends as a way of getting to know Seoul, he's surprised to find out what a bookworm you are. (I suck at summaries, lol sorry)

Warnings: swearing,

A/N: Thanks to @vicky-chaos for this request! Tbh, I’m the exact same way as you described yourself, I have more books than I have shelf space for, lol!

Masterlist

Requests are open

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“Are you sure you won’t miss me too much?” You asked Yoongi as you pulled on your coat.

“It’s only a few hours, I think I’ll be able to manage.” He smirked, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Go have fun.”

“And you better make sure they get back in one piece.” He warned jokingly, turning to Hobi and Jimin, who’d been watching your whole exchange with amused grins.

“We will, don’t worry.” Hobi promised.

“Yeah, I don’t wanna know what angry Meow Meow looks like.” Jimin sniggered, ducking out the door before Yoongi could swat him, using the nickname for your boyfriend that he’d happened to overhear as they’d arrived eariler.

“Bye.” You said, giving him a quick peck.

“Bye, be safe.” He replied, waving as you and Hobi filed out the door.

It was strange, in a way, after having spent over a year doing the whole ‘long distance’ thing with you(or as he liked to refer to it, “fucking torture”), a couple hours apart while you went shopping with Hobi and Jimin should seem like nothing, but he couldn’t help noticing himself growing a bit antsy for your return as the afternoon passed.

He was still getting used to the fact that you were actually here in Seoul with him, that it wasn’t just a dream when he woke up every morning with you there next to him. Watching you not only settle in, but thrive in his city and with his circle of friends had almost made him fall in love with you all over again.

It was just beginning to grow dark outside when he heard the front door open.

“We’re back.” You called.

He rounded the corner to see Hobi helping you drag several heavy looking shopping bags through the door.

“Where’s Jimin?” Yoongi asked.

“Asleep in the car, Y/n tired him out. I think they could out-shop me.” Hobi chuckled, making you duck your head as you flushed, mumbling out an embarrassed “Shut up.”.

Yoongi grinned, happy to see you and his friend getting along. “Did you at least have fun?” He asked you.

“I did, I found lots of nice things.“ You said as you crouched to greet Holly, who’d been circling your feet excitedly. “What about you Hobi?”

“Yeah, it was a very educational trip.” He said with a grin. ”Are we still on for lunch on Sunday?”

“Definitely.” You nodded.

“I’ll see you then, bye!” He said, giving you and Yoongi a nod before ducking back out the door.

“Bye!”

“See you, Hoba.” Yoongi called, dragging you against him as soon as Hoseok was out of sight.

“I need a kiss.” He said seriously.

“Aha! So you did miss me?” Your face lit up as you grinned at him smugly.

“More than you know.” He mumbled, pressing his lips to yours before you could tease him further, relishing the contented sigh he felt you release at the contact. He loved knowing you were as gone for him as he was for you.

“Now, wanna show me what you got?” He asked, drawing back to look at you.

“Okay!” You nodded, grabbing a few of the bags, before heading for the living room to have more space to unpack everything.

“I got this book on Korean Folklore, I thought it looked interesting.” You explained, settling on the floor and digging through the first bag. “And this one’s about mid-century architecture, I thought you might like it. Ooh, and this one’s been on my wish list for ages, I was soo happy that I found it!”

Yoongi sat watching as you pulled out book after book, and a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth at your excitement.

“Why did you buy two of this one?” He asked suddenly, noticing two identical covers.

“One’s in my native language and the other one’s in Korean, I thought it would help me practice reading Hangul.” You said, not looking up as you continued to rummage in another bag. When you didn’t get a response, you glanced up to see him just staring at you with an amused expression.

“What?” You asked.

“I just didn’t realize you were such a nerd.” He said, chuckling.

“I am not!” You said defensively.

“I’m not making fun of you, I just think it’s cute,” He clarified. “I didn’t realize how much of a bookworm you were.”

“I didn’t mean to buy this many, I just got excited.” You said, feeling slightly self-conscious.

“I like it though, it’s fun seeing you excited.” He said. “It’s also kinda fun knowing there’s still some things we don’t know about each other yet, like little surprises.”

“I thought you didn’t like surprises?” You asked, leaning up to rest your hands on his knees.

“I like you though,” He said, leaning in. “So I’ll make an exception.”

“M’kay.” You grinned, closing the gap between you to catch his lips.

You were more than happy to be his exception, on this and many other things.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

#yoongi blurb #yoongi scenarios #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader #bts one shot #bts requests #bts blurbs #bts blurb #bts drabble #bts fluff #bts x y/n #bts x reader #yoongi oneshot #7ndipity

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cutielando · 6 months

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the british dust ~ george russell

Summary: The British dust that looms around the attractive British racer affects even the people who don't believe in it.

Words: 901

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

Everyone says that British men have a special aura around them. Some might even say there is a thing called 'the British dust'.

You thought it was bullshit.

You never understood the hype around the British men. They were humans just like everyone else, but every single person you came across was of the opinion that they had something special.

Again, you thought that was absolute crap.

Until you met George freaking Russell.

♡♡♡♡♡

Getting a job in F1 has been your dream ever since you could remember.

Your father had always been a fan of racing, watching them every single weekend and even attending a couple of Grands Prix over the years.

When you got a bit older, you started taking an interest in the sport, your father proving to be one hell of a coach who taught you everything there was to know about the sport, the teams, the drivers, the rules.

Going into college, your one true dream was still a job in the F1 industry. A journalist, perhaps, or even a PR manager. Hell, even a janitor would be okay with you as long as you got to go to Grands Prix and meet all of the drivers and see the action in real life every single time.

And, when the opportunity presented itself to become a PR manager at Mercedes, you didn't think twice about taking the job.

Only problem was, you were tasked with being George Russell's manager. The infamous 'British dust' guy.

You didn't think he was that special. Yes, he was hot and one hell of a driver, but you didn't find anything special. He was just another British dude who you had to work with.

"Hello?" George's voice snapped you out of your daydreaming, making you look up at him where he stood in the doorstep of your office.

"Yes, hello. Come in" you stood up and shook his hand, which you found to be incredibly soft and warm, before clearing your throat and motioning for him to take a seat in front of you.

"You've already got an office, that's nice. I only have a small room which could even be classifies as a broom cupboard" he commented, smiling as he looked around your still unpacked and disorganized office.

You laughed and nodded your head, "Yeah, I heard about your rooms. Not the comfiest places on Earth to stay in, I imagine"

"They're the worst. I barely have the space to stretch my legs out and I need the space because I'm tall as a tree" he said, making you laugh out loud.

He was funny, you had to give him that. Unknown to you, he smiled when he heard you laugh, his heart swelling at the sound of your voice.

"I can imagine. Shall we get down to business then?" you asked once you'd finally calmed down.

"If we must, of course" he exhaled, giving you a subtle wink before leaning back and motioning for you to start speaking.

You went through your agenda for the day, explaining the schedule for the media days in the upcoming days and sorting out any issues he'd previously had.

By the end of your meeting, you had warmed up to the famous Brit, his energy and attitude making you feel comfortable and overall giddy on the inside.

"Do you think I'll win this weekend?" he asked as he stood up, making his way towards your door.

"I don't know, perhaps you will, perhaps you won't" you teased, shrugging your shoulders trying to be nonchalant.

"Wanna make a bet?" the twinkle in his eyes should've been a sign for you not to agree with him, but you found yourself nodding your head.

"Do tell"

"If I don't win, I'll grant you access to my media accounts for the rest of the season" he said.

"And if you win?"

"You go on a date with me" he bluntly said, making you freeze.

This would be highly unprofessional, going out with George even if it was for a bet, but something in you told you to say yes.

"You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Russell"

What harm could a date do, right?

♡♡♡♡♡

Damn you, George.

He had actually done it.

He won the race.

You were proud of him, you really were. But the butterflies in your stomach freaking out over the fact that you now had to go on a date with George were sending nerves to every single cell in your body.

You took a moment before stepping out of the Mercedes garage to find George and get the media part covered.

"Congratulations!" you squealed once you met up with him, surprised when he enveloped you in his arms and lifted you off the ground, spinning you around.

"I did it because of you" he whispered as he sat you down, not letting go of you.

"Because of me?" you questioned, your eyebrows scrunching together.

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take you out, could I?" he teased, his breath hot on your neck under your ear.

Your body let out an involuntary shudder, which made George laugh and finally release you from the tight and long hug.

"You are one of a kind, George Russell" you commented, but a big smile couldn't be wiped off your face.

"What can I say, the British dust must really be a thing" he winked.

You rolled your eyes and pushed him towards the reporters waiting for interviews with the race winner.

Damn you, British dust.

Damn you, George Russell.

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evilwickedme · 9 months

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I just. Ugh. Oh my God. The fucking PARALLELS this season of Good Omens. Y'all know I'm an absolute fool for a good parallel, so to get so many? I'm so well fed today

Crowley and Azira are like, the definition of soulmates of the kind that are made, you know? Like there is no one single other being in the whole of Creation that shares even a fraction of the same experiences. Six thousand years in the making, this ship is - even more according to this season !!! And YET, they are absolutely brand new. They've never been in a romantic relationship - not with each other, not with anyone - and as Crowley pointed out, they've essentially just gotten out of toxic relationships with Heaven and Hell. Except like, not really? Because we see Crowley really got out Heaven so heavily traumatized he never really put all that much stock into Hell. Yeah, Hell might've still been abusive, but Crowley was halfway out the door the whole time. Azira, tho... He still buys into all of it. He's technically out the door, but he hasn't done any of the deprogramming you need to do in order to move on (I feel like I'm mixing my metaphors a little by using cult-related languages, but also abusive relationships are essentially two person cults, so)

And this season sets this dynamic up so perfectly with Nina and Maggie!!!!! And we're supposed to think that Nina is Crowley because she's dark and broody and Maggie is Azira cause she's frankly precious but really it's the other way around and it's Nina who finishes the season being like "I can't be in a relationship right now because I still need to work on myself having just ended an incredibly toxic relationship" and it's just. Nina and Maggie don't end the season together because that's not what they need right now and bc of that they might still be able to be together later, but Crowley and Azira hold onto each other SO DAMN HARD that they end up losing each other SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE AZIRA CAN'T DO THAT SAME THING OF UNPACKING HIS BASE ASSUMPTIONS it's like leaving a cult cause they were mean to you once but still buying into the new agey stuff they used to love bomb you into joining the cult in the first place

And so that's the relationship part of things but also we've got like soo many parallels showing how broken the system is in the first place and obviously ineffable bureaucracy is what stands out here because of the literal lines coming out of various characters' mouths during this plotline but can we talk about how heavily brainwashed Muriel is and how clearly they're supposed to be exactly like a young Aziraphale, one who doesn't "have" Crowley yet!!! Like tell me that if you gave Muriel a fiery sword and told them to watch over the first ever pregnant couple in history they wouldn't give them that Goddamn sword. Nobody on either side is capable of questioning their position in life without exposure to Something Else, but it doesn't have to be like, the being you're going to run off to alpha centauri with. It could very much be a copy of The Crow Road

(sidenote, has anybody read this book? It seems like an incredibly deliberate choice but I've never heard of it! I think I might send in an ask to Neil Gaiman himself if I don't see any meta soon)

Anyway yeah um. I don't know how to end this. Parallels and shadow selves fuck (double entendre)

#ok I lied I do have Thoughts I just hadn't processed them yet #parallels are like my favorite thing #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #crowley #aziraphale #good omens spoilers #gail speaks

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bengiyo · 2 months

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She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 17-20 (Finale)

Last week gave me everything I wanted and more. The whole squad went over to Yako's place for a curry party and everyone had a great time. Later, Nagumo got a diagnosis for her condition and got to have personal time with Yako. Kasuga and Nomoto continued to work on their communication and making sure they aren't trampling over each other. They're continuing to work on this move. Seriously, we had a curry party and a s'mores party last week. We planted strawberries together. Let's finish this.

Episode 17

Looking for housing is so stressful. I was wondering if we'd get into housing discrimination in this.

Red beans in Japan are different from what we eat here. Theirs carry a naturally sweet profile that doesn't mesh well with creole cooking.

I feel like those beans needed to boil longer, but that's me thinking in my home cooking terms.

Yes, ladies, tell each other how happy you are to see each other.

@furritsubs thank you for the note about Azuki beans.

I'm really enjoying the way they're handling this situation. The realtor wasn't trying to be homophobic, but the systems he was upholding with the landlord references reinforces the status of same sex households. I also like that they acknowledged how circumstances closet people in ways that hurt them. This is good payoff from the news bit we saw earlier in season with Kasuga.

Getting a tasty treat in before going back into the fray is so valid.

Kasuga being even more affectionate about Nomoto's food now that they're dating is exactly what I wanted.

Episode 18

Oh fuck yeah, let's continue to unpack how structural homophobia makes people scared to share something that should be a joyous occasion.

Amused that Yako is the primary person using Nomoto's given name.

Are we going to have a takoyaki party next??

COME THROUGH, YAKO!!! You gotta help your folks get through this bullshit, but never let them forget that it's bullshit!!

I am relieved that we checked in with Ms. Fujita about divorcing her husband at the same time as we're working through LGBT housing issues. Single divorced women likely also face huge challenges in housing when marriage is the goal we're being pushed into.

Wow, Sayama, you are in contention for the Yihwa Best Girl Award this year. You are an ally. Love the way she examined how what she said might have been hurtful.

Feeling like you somehow failed because you didn't get married in your 20s is so real. I sometimes struggle with this in my 30s.

This show uses its characters to illustrate its political points in a way that feels gentle and accessible, but also carries a sense of urgency. Women are facing extreme reproductive pressure right now, and it's clearly not making those who don't already want husbands and children happier. Hell, it's making them resentful to the point of divorce as they get older.

Hold on. Gotta cry a bit about Nomoto telling Kasuga that being told outright that hiding who they are upset her made her feel better got me.

Episode 19

Takoyaki Party let's goooooo!!!

A party where you cook together like this is always so much fun. We had fun with some friends' kids a few weeks ago teaching them how to make pancakes and letting them add their own toppings before, during, and after cooking.

Nagumo managed to enjoy a bite of food with them. Hold on. Crying again.

We've seen takoyaki a few times lately, and I am very impressed with this cooker.

Yako, tactful as always, is gonna check on Nagumo. I love her.

This is so important. Couple formation does affect the friends around them, and I'm really glad Yako let Nagumo voice that she supports her friends even as she knows she's going to miss the dynamic they've had. Yako is so right to point out that a change doesn't mean it's over, and their friendship will last if we all continue to reach out.

This realtor scene is so good. I like how politely she asked for them to disclose their relationship with the express purpose of securing ideal housing, and we're getting into how the financing of housing can affect people's privacy. She's also owning that landlords can discriminate against couples. I also appreciate that their meeting room was private.

I'm ready for the moving in party!

Episode 20

They got the house!!

A crab cream croquette party!!!

Wait, where's Nagumo? I wanted her to try a croquette too!

We are on the bed together. This is not a drill.

Yes, let's acknowledge that they have liked each other since season 1.

The intimacy question is on the floor!

They are finally hugging!

NOW KISS!!!

That was very sweet, and felt right for them. I'm glad they had that moment in the old place before they moved.

Cried because of Ms. Fujita and Nagumo possibly getting hired.

So glad Yako and Nagumo are still hanging out! That's really how some friends groups will be. Two people will just gel at a party and grow close.

Oh hell yeah we're at casual intimacy now.

I'm so excited to see where the TV goes next season!!

Oh my goodness Kasuga is wearing a lighter sweater!!!!!!

Final Verdict: 10, Go Watch This Immediately and Then Show it to a Friend. Seriously, do not make excuses for yourself. You owe it to yourself to watch this show. Between this, Ossan's Love Returns, and What Did You Eat Yesterday? coming back, we cannot stop supporting our shows about older people getting together and forming their own forms of family. This show built on the foundation of its first season and made every little detail feel so potent and impactful. I did not expect the pen pal to grow into a trusted confidant and core member of this friend group, nor was I expecting the women at the supermarket to help Kasuga as much as they did. This season was excellent, and will be joining WDYEY on my comfort watch rotation.

Big thanks to @furritsubs and friends for making this watch possible.

#Ben watches #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #japanese gl #gl series

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thatdogmagic · 28 days

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This is the last post I plan on making about the current situation.

I've been trying to recall what it is that might be getting repeated, and there's a couple instances I can think of that are pretty ripe for taking snips:

There are chat logs where I made unkind generalizations about autistic cis men, in the context of the majority of my experiences with them being largely negative, and being relieved that I had a space where my own neurodiversity had room to unfold.

She has chatlogs where I commented on not fully understanding trans men who still veered ultra-femmy, even though I don't have any trouble wrapping my head around butch trans women. That contradiction made me think about it quite a bit, and ultimately decided it wasn't a great opinion to have/was mostly just some lingering All Things Being Binary shit I still find myself unpacking.

I'm sure there's other thorny conversations that can be pruned for content, but I'm having trouble thinking of what it is beyond interpersonal clashes and, yeah. I've already seen the depths of missing context there.

There is no better example, in fact, than the comparison of shadowy werewolves with glowing eyes/teeth. It was taken from a concept that was tabled after approval was actively sought because there was a recognized stylistic overlap. Since 'shadow werewolf with glowing eyes/teeth' is a very common visual element in a lot of werewolf artwork, we also went on to discuss when those visual elements would best be avoided, and when they could be put to use.

This wasn't mentioned in the original comparison posts. Nor was it mentioned that it was never intended for public posting. It was a thumbnail idea for promotional material, drawn over a month ago - and nearly a full year after Lacey's skin tone changed - and it was quietly set aside in favor of other ideas.

Bottom line, I don't have any control over what she does with what she has. I don't have any control over what people think about it. But I do have control over what I do with me, and what I plan to do is stay off social media for the forseeable future, and keep working on the projects that matter to me, like I always have.

In the meantime, if you know me off social media:

I do not want to be contacted about any additional escalation

I do not need to know about any further instances of reposted chatlogs or artwork

It's kind of you to want to know my side of the story, but for my own reasons I'd rather not go into it beyond what I've already posted.

If we discussed commission work that you no longer want, please let me know ASAP so I can remove you from the list I have prepped for when I get back to taking those. Those of you who contacted me about it already have my email address.

All that being said, I understand if even with context, some comments lose people. I'm not gonna hold that against anyone. Where I'm at in my own development is probably not going to be enough for some, and that's fine. It doesn't have to be, and it won't stop me from continuing to try.

End of the day, keep in mind that this is still a personal altercation being made public, with everything that entails.

PS - If any other art is being posted: understand that it is being done without permission, after Ependa and I both actively tried to delete those pieces off the server, stated we'd done so intentionally, and then actively requested those files be deleted off the server/her machine when we were made aware of the fact that she was using third party plugins to retain access.

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 11 months

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Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 8

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: none actually this is pretty cute they just go on a date lol

Genre: Pretty much ALL fluff, it's cute

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

You watch curiously as Wanda shuffles through one of the boxes sitting around the guest room in her apartment. Even though you've been here a few weeks you're avoiding fully unpacking your things since you snuck them out of your and Bruce's previously shared apartment.

"You should really unpack this stuff like how do you find anything if it's all in boxes?" Wanda huffs.

"All the important stuff is unpacked. I didn't really expect to be going on dates. I mean at this point it's a good thing I even managed to go back to the apartment and get the rest of my life from my old place." You shrug. "I dunno if I should bother because like- it's not at if I'm moving in permanently."

"You could! I mean I have the extra bedroom, it's yours if you want it, you're already here. Why not?"

"We'll- talk about it later."

"OH! Where's the dress they bought you?! It's not like you could wear it with Bruce I'm sure. You could break it in now!" She says.

"It's in the other box." You point to where the dress should be and Wanda quickly pulls it out. The dress is a red floor-length off-shoulder number that looks as good now as it did when you saw it in the store. "I can't believe they bought me a dress because they liked my voice." You shake your head.

"I mean the dress is gorgeous. Put it on we have less than an hour before they're meant to arrive and you still have to decide on makeup and shoes and accessories." Wanda hands you the dress and you laugh at her frantic list as you take off your tank top and shorts to put on the dress.

"I need a different bra." You mutter.

"Do you have strapless bras?" She asks.

"Yeah I've got one- I actually hate it but I do have one." You say. You shuffle through a box until you find the bra and switch out your loungewear bra for the strapless. You shimmy on the dress and turn for Wanda to look at it. "Well? What do you think?"

"You know, exactly what looks good on you." She says with a nod.

"Lucky me since I didn't try it on before Bucky and Steve decided to purchase it." You muse.

"Okay, makeup. Do you wanna keep it simple and dramatize with accessories or go with dramatic makeup and keep the accessories simple?"

"I dunno I really like dramatic makeup." You hum throwing a t-shirt over the dress to do your makeup.

"So do dramatic makeup. We can give you a cute pair of earrings and one of those dainty necklaces of yours." She shrugs.

"The sun."

"What?"

"They gave me a sun necklace. Would it be too much to wear that and the dress they gave me? Too definitive on where we stand even though I have no idea how I feel about them?"

"Well it's gold, you'd have to match it with- wait what bag are you carrying?"

"I was gonna go with a black clutch."

"Is it black and gold or black and silver?"

"I have both."

"Well you have to go with the gold one."

"Okay." You laugh.

"Shoes? What shoes?"

"You can pick." You tell her.

"Are all your shoes in the closet?"

"Yes, those I unpacked." You tell her.

"Black heels. That way something in your outfit matches your bag." Wanda holds the shoes in question up. This particular pair of heels has gold detailing on the stiletto, a gift from your mother a couple of years ago.

"Perfect." You tell her. You finish your makeup and slide the shoes on. Your final makeup look is gold eyes and a red lip that matches your dress. You complete your look with the sun necklace and a pair of simple gold hoops.

"You look amazing!" Wanda gushes when you look over at her for a final assessment.

"Well, that's good since it's five after. They should be downstairs already." You say loading your clutch.

"I'll go down with you so I can let them know that if they mess this up I'll have their heads." Wanda says following you out of your room.

"These are mobsters Wanda please remember that before you threaten them."

"What they are is men taking my best friend out. Mobster or not I expect them to treat you perfectly and they should know there will be consequences if they don't."

"Do you intend to tell them you're a witch?" You ask her.

"Absolutely not. Then I lose the mystery factor that makes my threats that much scarier." She shakes her head and you laugh. When you exit the apartment building a man exits the vehicle parked right at the front and walks over to you.

"Miss y/n. Miss Wanda."

"Do we know you?" Wanda quirks an eyebrow at him.

"I'm Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes' driver. They're waiting in the car." The man explains leading you both over and opening the door. Steve gets out of the car to allow you to slide in between him and Bucky.

"Y/n, you look gorgeous." Steve kisses your hand and helps you into the car. Well, it's actually a truck, with tinted windows and spacious seats even with three of you in the back.

"Thank you Steve, hello Bucky." You say. When Steve settles back into his seat, Wanda sticks her head into the car before the driver can close the door.

"Gentlemen. Hello." Wanda smiles and you roll your eyes at her.

"Hello Wanda." They say in unison.

"I just want to make sure they we're all on the same page here. If y/n comes home with anything negative to say about this evening I will put you both in so much pain you won't even be able to scream. Are we clear?"

"We have no intention of seeing anything but happiness on y/n's face tonight Wanda, don't worry." Steve says kindly.

"Good. I will be holding you to that. Y/n, have a good night okay?"

"Thank you Wanda. I'll see you when I get back." You say. The driver waits for her to back up and then shuts the door before getting into the car.

"You look amazing y/n." Bucky says.

"Thank you Bucky." You nod. "Where are we going tonight?" You look between the two men.

"If it's okay with you we'd like to keep it a surprise." Steve says.

"Alright sure. I did give you permission to pick the place." You nod. You watch the streets of New York go by as you're driven through the city until eventually the car stops and the door is opened for you. Steve exits and holds a hand out to you to help you down from the car and then Bucky climbs out after you. Steve keeps his hand in yours and Bucky places one of his at the small of your back as the three of you enter one of the fanciest restaurants you've ever seen. Steve talks to the maitre d but you don't hear what he says, you're too busy looking around at the ornate interior of the place. Everyone in here is dressed to the nines, and despite knowing your outfit matches the environment, part of you feels out of place with the clientele of this place. You're all led to your table in a more secluded area of the restaurant. "This place is- very fancy." You say once you're seated and left alone by the maitre d.

"Are you uncomfortable? We can leave if you'd like." Bucky's voice is soft as he makes the offer.

"No, I'm fine. It was just an observation. I'll admit this isn't my usual scene but I am okay here. Thank you for checking though." You say.

"So this is one of those places that has a set menu, and they just bring out the courses for you once you've sat down. We thought it'd be simpler this way." Steve says.

"Oh okay. That's cool." You say. Just then a waiter brings your first course, a seafood tartlet.

"How have you been handling the new information y/n?" Steve asks.

"Which piece of new information are you referring to? Being a werewolf, my boyfriend lying to me for at least a year, you two being total stalkers, or the fact that your infatuation with me is totally out of your control?" You ask.

"All of it really. Whichever you want to talk about." Steve shrugs.

"Well, the werewolf thing is- somehow the least shocking bit of all of this honestly. That was pretty easy to accept, it didn't inherently change much for me, plus my mom has been pretty open to talking about it all so I at least have help navigating it."

"And- things with the hunter?" Bucky asks.

"I've moved all my stuff out of the apartment so as far as I'm concerned I'm done with him." You say.

"Can I ask what happened? How you, found out that we were right?" Steve asks. Your first course plates are then replaced with the entree which you miss the name of when it's brought but you enjoy the dish anyway.

"I called my mom about the werewolf thing and when I brought that up to him I just asked him if he knew and I could tell he was lying when he said no." You shrug. "It turned into a big dramatic blowout but the details aren't important really. He lied so I left. That's the moral of the story."

"I'm sorry. That kind of betrayal can't be easy to deal with, and if you ever want to talk about it more we can lend an ear." Steve says.

"It is what it is, you live and you learn." You say.

"Just say the word and you'll never have to see him again." Bucky says.

"Hm that- sounds like a threat on his life." You muse and Bucky simply shrugs. "Is that just how it goes with mobsters?"

"When necessary." He says casually.

"Interesting. I have an unrelated question though, that I've been wondering about all week."

"What's that?" Steve asks.

"If this... werewolf infatuation with me, however it all works, is affecting both of you... am I expected to make a choice at some point here? Between the two of you, I mean."

"No. You don't have to." Bucky says.

"I don't have to? You'd be able to handle that kind of dynamic? Where I just, date both of you indefinitely or, permanently? Because if you're gonna like kill each other over this I don't want anything to do with either of you. I have no interest in being the subject of some sort of contest."

"We've done it before." Steve says.

"Oh so this is just normally how you date?" You ask.

"Well- it's not exactly our default no but, this isn't our first rodeo either." He chuckles.

"You don't think it'll cause problems? Not having me to yourself?" You ask curiously.

"Not at all." Steve says and you turn to Bucky who hums his agreement.

"We told you before, we share most things." Bucky says.

"Okay. Well as long as that's the truth, moving on. I know what you do for work, theoretically, so what do you do for fun?" You ask.

"Theoretically?" Steve quirks an eyebrow at you.

"I mean I've got an idea of what the whole mobster thing could entail yeah but it's not like you're gonna give me the details, are you?" You shrug.

"Do you want details?" He asks.

"We'll tell you anything you want to know." Bucky says.

"Anything? Really? You don't think I'm too innocent to know the inner workings of your crime empire?" Your question is kind of sarcastic but you are curious if they'd seriously tell you about it.

"As much as we want to protect you, we also know that if we want you to be part of our world you need to be prepared for what's in it." Steve says.

"If you choose us we want you as our equal y/n, in all things. Even our business." Bucky says placing a hand over yours.

"So- like I could be part of decision-making?" You ask, mostly to gauge how far this equal partner thing goes. Bucky and Steve glance at each other with a look you can't really interpret.

"If you want to be." Steve nods.

"It's that simple?" You ask skeptically.

"When it comes to you, things will always be as simple as if you want it, it's yours. We'll give you anything you ask of us. Always." Bucky says.

"You two are dangerously charming. Saying all the right things." You hum.

"We'll never make a promise we don't intend to keep." Steve says.

"That's easy to say now." You scoff.

"We know that hunter betrayed your trust in him, so we'll do whatever we need to, to gain your trust and we will treat it with the respect it deserves. The respect you deserve." Bucky says.

"I take it trust is very important to you? Especially with the kind of work you do." You say.

"Precisely." He nods.

"That's good to know." You hum. "So, hobbies. Do you have any or does work take up all your time?"

"We have a few hobbies. I like woodworking." Steve says.

"I like drawing and reading." Bucky says.

"We both do hunting." Steve offers.

"Like with guns or as wolves? Also is it just for sport or do you eat what you kill?"

"Why would we hunt with guns?" Bucky scoffs.

"I mean humans hunt for sport and obviously they use guns and since- I don't think we have the same dietary restrictions as like vampires I imagine there's nothing stopping you from just shooting things for fun because you can." You shrug and Steve chuckles. Your entree plates are then swapped out for a dessert, a layered slice of cake.

"We hunt as wolves. Usually, just things we can eat." Steve says.

"It's not really valuable to kill just for killing sake. We aren't monsters." Bucky offers.

"Monsters no but mobsters yes." You say and Bucky smirks.

"Hunting isn't work, it's a hobby." Steve says.

"Okay, hunting, woodworking, drawing, and reading. Anything else?"

"We- dedicate a lot of time to work. So, not really no." He shrugs.

"How do you intend to have a relationship if you're both basically married to your work?" You ask.

"We aren't married to it. We don't have much else to pour energy into yet so we dedicate our time to work but it's not the kind of thing that would take over our lives if you were in it." Steve shakes his head.

"How do you know?" You ask.

"The job hasn't always been our life." Steve says.

"And we have capable people working for us. We feel confident stepping away when we want to. There just hasn't been much worth pulling us away." Bucky says.

"Don't read into this question, I'm just trying to learn as much as I can so I make an informed decision at the end of tonight. Do you realistically believe I'd be worth pulling you away from work?"

"We already know so." Steve says immediately. Bucky pulls out a phone from his pocket and places it on the table.

"This phone only calls your security detail. They are the only ones with the number." Bucky says.

"Sorry, are you still having me followed?!" You blink at him. Your gaze snaps between the two men. "I want an answer and it better be the truth." You say when neither of them speaks.

"We don't trust your ex." Steve says.

"That is not the question I asked you." You frown.

"Not... fully." Bucky says.

"Not fully?"

"They aren't following you like before they just check in." Bucky says.

"I don't need your men to check in on me. That's ridiculous. You make it sound like I'm in danger." You say.

"We won't call them off. I know you don't like them but we have to take precautions especially because you've been seen with us. We- have enemies and we will not leave you vulnerable to them." Steve says firmly.

"I don't like this. But I also don't like being an exposed target so- I'll yield." You say crossing your arms.

"Thank you." He says quietly.

"I have one last question, and then we can call it a night." You say.

"Anything you want to know." Bucky says.

"Since you guys have been like- basically stalking me for a few months is there anything you don't know about me? I feel like I'm at quite the disadvantage here."

"We didn't do a deep dive into your personality or anything. We really just know general things, your job, your old address, age, birthday, and some things we could observe like that you'd rather walk than take a cab and you'll sooner call someone than send a text, and at work when the store's empty and you're reading at the counter your face gives away all of your thoughts when you're enraptured." Bucky says.

"Woah." You mutter.

"We don't know much, not anything that anyone who worked with you wouldn't be able to find out but you learn a lot from observation." Steve says.

"Clearly."

"Any last questions y/n?" Bucky asks.

"What do you want out of this? Out of me?"

"We want to make you happy. Whatever that means." Steve says.

"No, I want you to be selfish with your answer, not diplomatic. What do you want out of this? What is the ideal outcome in your minds? If you two were writing this story, how would it end?" You ask. There's a pregnant pause as you're sure Steve considers another careful answer.

"We'd marry you. Devote our entire lives to you and in turn, you'd do the same. You'd come into our world, learn every bit of information and run it all with us. You'd walk into every room with us on either side of you. You could say jump and everyone under us would ask how high. In my version of the story, we make you a queen, adored by all. It doesn't all have to be tomorrow but that is how it ends." Bucky says. Steve sighs at the end of Bucky's answer. You're quiet for a long moment as you consider his words. It's dramatic and intense and realistically it should scare you because from anyone else it would come off as psychotic.

"Is it always like this with you two?" You ask after a while.

"What?" Steve asks.

"Steve you're more calculated with your words, everything you say is meticulous, thought out. While Bucky, you seem to be a little more impulsive. If you open your mouth you will say exactly what it is you're thinking, it's why you don't talk as much as Steve, right? You're more likely to say something reckless and Steve stresses when he thinks your words might cause trouble. The if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all rule." You explain. Steve and Bucky blink at you with clear shock on their faces. "You two aren't the only ones with observational skills." You say proudly.

"That is impressive." Steve muses.

"If she chooses never to see us again after this Steve I will never date another person. I simply can't imagine settling for less, because anyone else would be less." Bucky says to Steve which makes him chuckle and you giggle.

"To answer your question, yes that is usually how things are." Steve says.

"So what happens now?" Bucky asks.

"Now, I'd like you to take me home." You say standing up. Steve and Bucky follow your lead. Steve tosses bills on the table as Bucky walks you towards the door with his hand at your back. By the time you step outside the car you came in is waiting at the curb and the driver is standing by the door. Bucky helps you into the car before getting in behind you, while Steve pulls the door on the other side open and slides in, sandwiching you between them. The drive back to Wanda's is pretty much quiet, only once the car stops in front of her building and the driver gets out does one of them speak.

"Will we see you again?" Steve asks. The driver opens Bucky's side of the car and he steps out to help you out of the car.

"I only promised you one date." You say. "But, if you leave me with the best way to contact you, we'll see." You take Bucky's hand and climb down from the car.

"Your phone." Bucky says. You unlock the device and hand it to him. He inputs his number and then Steve's and gives it back to you.

"Goodnight boys. Tonight was nice." You say.

"Goodnight y/n." Steve says.

"Goodnight." Bucky nods getting back into the car. They watch you walk into the building and don't pull off until you're in the elevator. When you enter the apartment, quietly in case Wanda is asleep, you kick off your heels and let out a sigh.

"How was it? Tell me everything!" Wanda comes rushing down the hall and nearly gives you a heart attack.

"Fucking hell were you just waiting for the door to open?" You ask her clutching your chest.

"Obviously. You went on a date with two super hot werewolf crime lords I won't be able to do anything until you tell me about it!" She says pulling you to the couch excitedly.

"It was great Wanda. They're a little intense honestly, but they were perfect gentlemen and answered all my questions even though I basically spent the night interrogating them. I think I like them." You bite your lip shyly.

"Where did you go?"

"Dinner at some really fancy place. One of those restaurants with a set menu where each course is predetermined and it probably costs like a hundred dollars per person."

"Impressive." She nods.

"Everything with them is. They are-"

"Don't say too good to be true." Wanda points at you.

"I was going to say a surprise actually but too good to be true might be the reality. They talk about me being their equal in all things, like their business, and about making me queen of their empire and devoting themselves to me. It's a little love bomb-y."

"It's only love bomb-y if they can't keep the same energy. Some people just love that intensely and I'd say the fact that they've spent months adoring you without really any promise of reciprocation suggests that's just how they are. Plus werewolves are dedicated partners by nature, I mean it makes sense. Sure it's intense for someone that didn't know they were a werewolf a month ago and it's okay to be cautious, especially after Bruce, but I already told you they're not ill-intentioned." She shrugs.

"All very true things."

"So you'll see them again?"

"I'd like to." You nod.

"Oooo I'm so happy for you!" She squeals jumping up.

"Wanda calm down." You laugh but nothing could possibly chill her out now. Things are changing for the better quickly and Wanda has always been the biggest advocate for whatever makes you the happiest.

***

Part 8/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10 @vicmc624 @mandijo17

#marvel fanfiction #marvel #stucky fanfic #stucky x reader #stucky fluff #stucky smut #stucky #stucky angst #werewolf bucky barnes #werewolf steve rogers #werewolf au #Just Let Me Adore You #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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themultifandomgal · 1 year

Text

Matt- Moving In Together

We decided that I would move in with Matt and Kelly. I couldn't have Matt move out and leave Kelly all on his own. Plus Kelly has become one of my best friends. I sold my one bedroom house, thankfully I didn't have much to move and now Matt and I are figuring out or dynamic now that we have moved

"Babe can you ask Kelly to sort through his whites. I'm going to do a wash"I tell my boyfriend pulling out whites out of our washing basket

"Sort his whites?"

"Yeah you know white shirts, bedding that kind of stuff"

"Errr"

"Please tell me you've been separating your washing"

"Yeah of course we have" Matt leaves our bedroom. No way have they been separating their colours. I take all of our things and head to the kitchen where our washing machine is. Kelly walks out of his room holding his things

"Matt said you wanted my whites?"

"Stick them on the counter top and I'll wash them after I've done ours"

"I'm also making dinner tonight since we're all off"

"Matt if you don't wife her up, I will" Kelly says making me laugh. Matt walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist

"You've got no chance"

"While I finish unpacking I might have a little job for you"

"And what might that job be?" Matt hugs me tighter

"I need you to go to ikea and get me a couple of units. I'll send you a text with the ones I want, you can have my card, but can you also build them for me?"

"Sure" Matt kisses my cheek before letting me go

"Thank you"

While Matt and Kelly are out I open up the last of my my boxes and sigh pulling out a jumper that was my ex boyfriends. Why I still have it I couldn't say, I forgot all about it. So this box must be one that I never unpacked when I first moved to Chicago. I pull out more things out of the box checking if it's anything I want to keep or give away. I place the jumper back in the box and put the box on the coffee table to remind me to give the box to charity and I make a start on dinner.

"Hey babe you forgot this box" Matt calls as I plate up our dinner

"That box is for charity" I walk out of the kitchen to find Matt holding my ex's jumper "when I moved I never unpacked that box. I forgot what was inside. That's my ex's jumper. I would say lets just throw it in the fire and burn it, but 1. I live with firemen and 2. It's so bad for your health breathing in the smoke so, charity it is" Matt places the jumper back in the box

"Your a lot nicer than I could be" Kelly comments

"Well I am quite a nice person" I chuckle "dinner is ready by the way"

"Like I have already said if you don't hurry up and propose I will" Kelly pats Matt

"Dude it's not even been a year yet"

"So? When you know you know right?" Kelly shoves food into his mouth

"You just finish eating then build my shelves" I point to Kelly who salutes.

That evening Matt and I are in bed cuddled up to one another

"You know when I do ask you to marry me it will be a huge thing not just a throw away comment"

"How do you know I won't propose to you?" I ask Matt who looks a little shocked but then smiles

"Then I'd say yes"

"Well if you proposed to me then I would also say yes... just so you know"

"I'm confused does this mean we're engaged now?"

"I guess we're engaged to be engaged" I giggle cuddling up to Matt even more

"God I love you"

"I love you too"

"We need to find Kelly a girlfriend"

"Kelly doesn't need a girlfriend. He's enjoying his single life"

"I don't buy it. We're going to help get him a girlfriend. I'd say April would be a good match, but I'm pretty sure Ethan and April have a thing going on. What about Gabby?"

"They would probably end up killing each other"

"What about Erin? Jays partner?"

"I think there's something going on between them as well. He'll find the right girl when he's ready"

"I know" I sigh

"Get some sleep. We've both got long day tomorrow"

"Goodnight Matt"

"Night baby"

#matt casey #matt casey imagine #matt casey x reader #Matt Casey x oc #Matt Casey x yn #one chicago #one chicago imagine #chicago fire #chicago fire imagine

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study-coffee-chicago · 2 years

Text

I Can’t Believe You (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister imagine)

A/N: I've had this idea for awhile and then an anon on asked me about Beary so I figured I'd write this (Note: This is not part of the Seasons of PD/Med universe, I just wanted Beary to be in it. It is a total separate imagine from that series).

Anyways, enjoy!

"You're both leaving for an undercover assignment?" you asked Jay for the second time today.

"Yes, I already told you, Y/N," Jay said as he worked on packing his bag. "Voight needed it to look like we were a married couple, and since Hailey and I are already married, he thought it would work perfectly."

"Don't tell me I have to--"

"I already called Will. I'll bring you over to his place tonight at eight."

"Why?" you whined. "Jay, I'm eighteen. I can handle myself just fine."

"Y/N, this op could go on for weeks. So that means, bad guys have more time to figure out who I really am. And if they figure that out, I don't need you being here by yourself."

"But Will doesn't even own a gun!" you argued.

"Uh, yes he does," Jay said and you cocked an eyebrow. "If you two had bothered to talk for the past year and a half, you'd know he owns one and knows how to shoot it."

"It's his fault with all of this. I told him the truth."

"Yeah, well, we didn't find any evidence to back either of your claims, so you guys have a bit of time to work this out."

"You really can't just have patrol sit on the apartment?" you asked desperately.

"No. I can't have them sit outside our apartment building for who knows how long. You're staying with Will. End of discussion. Now, go pack a bag."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Now go."

"Jay," you whined. "I'm eighteen and it's the summer before college. I'm gonna spend it all being babysat?"

Jay laughed. "Not all of it. A couple weeks max."

"A couple weeks too many," you muttered as you walked away and to your room.

You and Will had never been super close siblings, but you had been closer before everything popped off a year and a half ago.

You had just turned sixteen a couple of months ago and relished your newfound freedom. And now, it was the holidays, which typically meant that Jay took a bit of furlough and Will came back from New York to spend time with the two of you. Jay's new girlfriend, Hailey, might also spend Christmas Eve with you three. You didn't mind; you really liked her. Plus, it was nice having a girl around for a change.

You were sitting at home watching a movie with your friend, Megan, when there was a knock on the door.

Jay had always told you to either look out the peephole or not answer the door at all when you were home alone. He always told you that he made a lot of enemies with the job he did, and he didn't want you hurt because of it. You were just about to get up and look out the peephole when your phone rang.

It was Will.

"Hello?" you asked.

"You mind opening the door for me? I look like I'm homeless standing outside your apartment with a suitcase."

You laughed. "Yup. I'm coming."

The minute he came inside, he gave you a bone-crushing hug. "Ugh, I missed you."

"Missed you, too," you replied as you pulled away. "But can we not do all this here? I have a friend over."

"Aww, I'm embarrassing you. That's a rite of passage for us," Will joked and then messed with your hair.

"Stop it," you said and moved away from him.

Megan laughed. "Hey, I think it's cool that you have older brothers who are nice to you. I only have an annoying little sister. I wish I had big brothers."

"No, you don't. Any mention of boys around them sends them both into lecture mode."

"Well, I guess I'll go unpack and leave the two of you girls alone," he said and left the room.

What he didn't realize was that he had left his medical bag on the kitchen table in plain sight.

***

"What do you even keep in here anyway?" you asked curiously and pointed to Will's medical bag, a few hours later when Megan had left and Jay was home.

"Stuff that Jay might need because he's injury prone."

"Haha, very funny." Jay rolled his eyes. Then, he moved and started opening the medical bag.

"Hey!" Will yelled. "That's for doctors only."

"And if I'm gonna be the patient, I have a right to know what you're using on me."

Then, Jay started rummaging through the bag, but Will quickly pulled it away from him. "Fine, if you two are that nosy and want to know, then I'll just tell you."

He told you what was in there and then you thought he was finished, but instead, he furrowed his eyebrows and started frantically rummaging through the bag.

"Forget something?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, I can't find the Norco I put in here."

"Isn't that the stuff they gave me when I got my wisdom teeth out?" you asked. "That stuff just made me tired all the time."

"Yeah," Will said. "And I swore I grabbed some--and went through the entire process of getting it--but it's not here."

"Maybe you just left it at home?" Jay suggested.

"No. This is a controlled substance, Jay. I know I had it." Will's eyes locked on yours. If he had left it in the kitchen while he was unpacking, then you could've taken it. "Y/N, did you open my medical bag while I was unpacking?"

"What? No!" you exclaimed. "If you're saying that I took the meds, then you're wrong. You seriously came back in here after being away and just blame me for something going missing, seriously?"

"Nobody's blaming anybody," Jay said quickly. "It was just a question."

"Yeah, well, it sounded like he was blaming me," you muttered.

"Maybe I am," Will shot back.

"Guys," Jay said. "Just hang on a sec. There's no way Y/N stole the meds."

"You weren't even home, Jay! So how would you know?"

In the end, Will left to go back to New York a few days later because he was convinced that you had stolen the meds. Jay even tossed your room because he had been siding with Will. But, really, Jay had no idea who to believe because he hadn't found them, so you were neither guilty nor innocent.

But, when winter break was over, you caught Megan selling them at school. You thought about telling Jay but didn't want to wreck her life this early, so you kept quiet and just stopped being friends with her. You thought about calling Will and explaining the situation, but you knew he'd just tell Jay. So, you kept quiet. And by doing so, you lost your entire relationship with your oldest brother.

"You all packed?" Jay asked after he knocked on your bedroom door.

"Yup. I'm coming." You quickly grabbed your favorite blanket and your pillow and then stuffed your Build-A-Bear, Beary, into your pillowcase, and then stuffed your pillow into your bag.

You had had that bear for as long as you could remember and couldn't sleep without it. Even though you were old enough now that you didn't need to cuddle him up to your chest to fall asleep, you still wanted him within arm's reach. For example, whenever you went to friends' houses to stay the night in high school, you'd shove Beary in your pillow case and then you'd sleep with your hand in the pillowcase to hold his paw or you'd slip him out of your pillow once everyone was asleep and have him next to you, but covered with your sleeping bag so no else could see.

Jay of course knew that you still slept with Beary, and by default, so did Hailey.

"Got everything?" Jay asked when you left your room.

"Yeah. Toiletries are in the duffle bag, too."

"Beary?" he asked. "I don't want you coming back here when both me and Hailey are under."

"In my pillowcase," you answered.

"Still in the same pajamas he's always in?" Jay smirked.

You whacked him on the chest. "Yes. You know as well as I do that all my old Build-A-Bear stuff is in our storage unit."

"Just checking. C'mon. Let's get outta here. Hailey's already waiting for me at the district."

He grabbed your blanket for you and slung his own black duffle bag over his shoulder while you did the same with yours and carried your pillow in your hands.

Time to go see Will and talk to him for the first time in a year and a half.

This was definitely going to be interesting.

***

"Hey, man," Jay said when Will opened the door, and then you and Jay walked into his house. "Thanks for doing this."

"No problem. Well, I mean it was a bit of a problem given--" Jay gave Will a look that made Will shut his mouth immediately. Will cleared his throat. "You wanna stay for pizza?"

"No, I gotta go. But, if you or Y/N need anything, call Adam or Kim. They'll be able to tell Voight to get in contact with me. Y/N has all their numbers."

"Got it," Will said.

You just stood awkwardly in the entryway and watched the exchange with your duffle slung over your shoulder.

"Anyway, I gotta go," Jay said. "Be good," he told you.

You laughed. "Jay, I'm not a little kid anymore."

"Yeah? Well, you're still younger than me, so you know what that makes you? A little kid."

You rolled your eyes and then he pulled you in for a hug.

"Be safe," you told him as tears pricked your eyes. "I can't lose you, too."

Jay smiled sadly. "Always am. You don't need to worry about me. I've got the best team in Chicago watching my six."

And then he went and gave Will a hug and he left, leaving you and your brother who you hadn't talked to in a year and a half alone.

"So," Will started, "I, uh, ordered pizza if you're hungry."

You were a little hungry. "Okay."

***

Dinner went well...as well as it could have gone considering the circumstances. The two of you didn't really talk much. He asked you about school and where you planned to go to college in the summer and you told him CCU, but also assumed that Jay had already told him that you planned on going to CCU anyway. You asked him how work was and he said it was fine. You asked him if he saw any interesting cases lately and he said that he couldn't get into a lot of them because of HIPAA regulations.

Then, you put your plate in the dishwasher and he showed you to the guest bedroom, which was where you'd be staying for the next week or however long Jay was undercover. At least there was a tv in here and a lock on the door. So, you could always hide in here if you needed to get away from Will for a while.

You sighed and opened your duffle bag to grab your pajamas, headphones, and phone charger. Only, the first thing that you saw on top was a pair of jeans, which were definitely too big for you. Okay, so maybe Jay accidentally threw his jeans in your duffle by accident. They were identical black duffle bags after all.

So, you started digging through the bag.

When you got to the bottom, that was when you began to panic.

It's not like you couldn't have Adam or Kim come with you to your apartment to help you get clothes and you could always buy a new phone charger and a cheap pair of headphones that would last you the few weeks you were here. No, the problem was that Beary had been in your duffle bag.

And, he wasn't in this one.

You don't think a day had gone by since you were the age of two that you didn't sleep with that Build-A-Bear. And, you'd be damned if you started now.

Jay had only left an hour ago, so maybe he was still reachable.

You pulled out your phone and quickly dialed Jay's number. No answer. You tried again. No answer. You tried one final time. No answer.

This time though, you decided to leave a voicemail. "Call me. It's an emergency."

You flopped onto the bed and ended the call. You sighed in frustration as tears pricked your eyes.

There was a knock on your door, which caused you to bolt upright.

"What's an emergency?" Will asked from the hallway.

"Uh, nothing! Everything's fine!" you yelled back quickly.

"Doesn't sound fine," Will said and then he paused. "I'm coming in. Are you decent?"

"Yeah," you answered and then sat back down on the bed and crossed your arms over your chest.

"What's going on?" Will asked when he entered and saw your sour expression.

"Nothing," you lied again.

"Didn't sound like nothing."

"I'm not lying to you!" Will threw his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Plus, you'd think it's stupid anyway."

"Contrary to popular belief, I am trying here or else I wouldn't have you staying here. Sure, you're not the easiest person to get along with because of everything that went down, but I can still be decent with you."

You sighed. Maybe he was being truthful. Maybe you should tell him what's going on. After all, you weren't going to call Kim or Adam for this. So really, Will was your only hope.

"I accidentally grabbed Jay's bag instead of mine and...um...Beary's in there and I can't sleep without him," you finally admitted.

Will stared at you for a few seconds and you could've sworn he was going to burst out laughing and tell you to grow the fuck up. Instead, he surprised you by sitting down next to you on the bed.

"I can help you...if you want."

You looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. Who was this guy and what has he done with your brother? "Really?"

"Yeah. After everything between us, we're still family." You started to say thank you, but he quickly cut you off. "This doesn't mean that we're good. It just means that I'm helping you so that you'll be able to get some sleep while you're here."

"Noted."

"We'll check the apartment first. C'mon."

***

"Jay told me not to come here without a cop, so Adam or Kim," you told him as the two of you entered the apartment.

"And you didn't tell me this before, because...?" Will asked.

"Because I knew you wouldn't let me come here if I told you that."

"No, I'd just make you call Kim or Adam so that they could meet us here."

"Well, I don't need them knowing I sleep with a teddy bear."

"Aww, you're embarrassed."

"Shut up. Last I checked, we're not friends, just family."

"Ouch. I never said that."

"Yeah, well you implied it. Now, are you gonna help me look, or are you just gonna stand there?"

"Where do you want me to look?" Will asked.

"Kitchen, living room area. I'm gonna check my room. But, I could've sworn I put him in my bag when I was packing."

Then, you walked off to your bedroom.

First, you looked at your bed and even patted down your pillows. You knew you had shoved him into your pillowcase, but maybe he fell out.

Nothing.

Then you looked around your bed on the floor and even under your bed.

Nothing.

You checked everywhere in your bedroom and in your closet. You checked under clothes on the floor and even in your hamper.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You sat on your bed and put your head in your hands.

He was gone. If he wasn't in your room, you highly doubted he'd be in the kitchen or the living room or anywhere else that Will was looking.

You assumed at this point, that your comfort item was with Jay since he had probably had your bag.

Then you had a thought: What if you never saw Beary again?

After all, Jay was undercover. Anything could happen.

"No," you muttered as tears slowly started to roll down your face. "No."

You and your mom had gone together to get that bear. And now, you might lose the last piece of your mom.

That was what finally broke you. Your body began to rack with sobs as you had that thought.

"I couldn't find him-- whoa. You good?" Will asked as he walked into your room.

You looked up with a glare. "Do I look like I'm fucking good, Will? Of course, I'm not good!"

"What's your problem? I'm trying to help you here!"

At this, you shot up and off your bed and got right up close to Will. "No, Jay made you watch me! I know you didn't choose to do this! You didn't even come to my fucking graduation or see me on my birthdays or send a birthday card! The only reason I saw you on Christmas is because you came to see Jay! I know you blame me for losing your job in New York. You fucking hate me, Will! Just admit it."

Without waiting for Will to respond, you marched out of your room and into the bathroom, slamming the door and quickly locking it.

You remembered the last time you had hope of Will showing up for something. It was a few months ago, at your high school graduation.

Anything from Will? you had texted Jay as you sat in a chair in your high school gym in your cap and gown. You had scanned the crowd where Jay, Hailey, Adam, Kim, Kelly, and Stella were sitting at least ten times by now.

Nothing yet, Jay replied. Then, he sent another text. I'm really sorry Y/N. I've reminded him almost every day for a month.

It's okay, you replied and took a deep breath to keep your tears at bay. You were supposed to cry after your graduation, not before. Then you sent another text. I'm used to it.

Up in the bleachers, this text broke Jay's heart. He knew the two of you had your history, but he never thought it would've gone on for this long.

Unbeknownst to you, Jay had been watching for signs that you were using or dealing after Will had accused you of stealing his Norco. And, he hadn't seen anything. But, he also didn't know anything about this Megan girl because you stopped hanging out with her after she had been at your apartment when the meds went missing. So, he was 95% sure that you didn't steal them, but since he couldn't be 100% sure, he didn't mention anything to Will. He knew that it was your and Will's issue to work out. But, he never thought that Will would hold a grudge against his own sister for this long.

Sure, he had missed things such as your seventeenth and eighteenth birthdays, but that was only because he had been working...at least, that's what Jay had told you. On your seventeenth, he was still in New York, so you had at least expected a card, but one never came. So, when he was back in Chicago for your eightieth birthday, there was a small part of you that hoped for a birthday card, but a large part of you that knew that you wouldn't get one. The larger part of you was right.

But, today was different. It was the culmination of years of late nights and crying over math homework and stupid teachers and projects and exams. You thought Will would at least show up to this since it was his regular day off during the week, a Wednesday, but he wouldn't even do that.

***

"Where do you want to go out to eat, kiddo?" Jay asked after you had gotten pictures with Jay and the rest of the people who had come to see you graduate.

"Can we just go home?" you asked desperately as you tried your hardest to hold back tears. "Please?" Your voice cracked on the last word, giving you away.

Jay smiled sadly. "If that's what you want to do, then we can do that."

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you said quickly and then started walking away. You didn't want to cry in front of everyone.

Once in the bathroom, you leaned your head against the bathroom door and let the tears fall. How could you have been so stupid to think that Will would've actually shown up? You should've known he wouldn't come. He still hated you.

You had heard him on the phone with Jay one time saying that he got written up for not having documentation of what patient that Norco went to and what it was administered for. And then, a month later, Will got fired. So, in Will's mind, you had gotten him fired from his job as a plastic surgeon in New York.

"Y/N?"

It was Hailey.

You sniffled. "In- In here," you told her. Then, you unlocked the bathroom stall and stepped out. "Sorry." You frantically began wiping your tears, not even caring about your makeup being messed up at this point.

"No, honey," Hailey said quickly. You don't have anything to be sorry about," she told you.

At that, you almost broke. "I don't- I don't want anyone to see me like- like this," you cried as quietly as you could, but loud enough so that Hailey could still hear you.

"Don't worry. Stella's guarding the door. She even has her CFD badge with her so people believe her when she says a pipe burst and no one can come in here."

"I know- I know I shouldn't care because he doesn't, but I wanted him here. Will should've been here!" you wailed.

"I know, I know," Hailey soothed and then quickly gave you a hug. "I know."

"Mom and Dad aren't- aren't here. Will's not here. I barely have any- have any family left."

"I know it's not the same, but you'll always have people there for you. Me, Kim, Adam, Kelly, Stella, Matt, and everyone else at 51, and Med has your back."

"But why do I still hope that he'll change, Hailey?" you asked. "Why do I keep thinking he'll finally show up?"

Hailey sighed. She knew this feeling far too well. "Until you finally decide in your head and your heart that it's time to let go, then you'll never stop hoping. And then one day, you finally realize that they won't be in your life and you make peace with it. It took me years, Y/N. Years. And, it's okay to have hope that Will will come back into your life; you just have to be realistic about it."

You didn't know what to say to that, so you stood there and hugged her.

"You ready to go back out there? I'm sure if you wanted some takeout Jay wouldn't have a problem getting it."

"And ice cream?" you asked and looked up at her.

"I'm sure I could convince him to stop for ice cream on the way home, too."

"Did I hear something about ice cream?" Stella asked three minutes later when you had wiped your tears and blotted your face with a piece of wet paper towel...which didn't do much, but it had been worth a shot. "Because, if so, I'm ditching Kelly and coming home with you guys."

And that was how you ended the night, instead of dinner, you and everyone who had come to your graduation went out for ice cream. And, on the way home when it was just you, Hailey, and Jay, you stopped at Wendy's to get an actual dinner.

You still wished that Will had been there, though.

"Y/N?" Will asked as he knocked on the door. "You in there?"

"Where else would I be, huh?" you yelled back.

"I dunno, you could've climbed out a window or something and scaled the drainpipe. It's dangerous, but I wouldn't put it past a Halstead. Anyway, I'm sorry."

"Ha. Yeah right."

"No, really I am. I just- can you just let me in?"

You sighed and reluctantly stood up and unlocked the door. "What?"

"I thought you could use some space."

"No, really? Why would you think that? And, if you thought that so much, then why are you bugging me?"

"Listen, you have every right to be upset."

"About you or about Beary?" you asked and cocked an eyebrow and put a hand on your hip, a tactic you had learned from Hailey when she'd ask Jay a question that she knew that he knew she already knew the answer to.

Will sighed and pushed past you into the bathroom, which left you with a frustrated expression on your face. He turned to face you and then you hopped up on the counter and sat there. You crossed your arms over your chest. What could he possibly say that would fix things?

"About me," Will finally answered your previous question. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that. I should've let you explain yourself."

"I tried, Will. I really fucking tried to explain! Hell, I even saw her selling them at school the day we got back from Christmas break!"

At this, Will's facial expression changed from one of forgiveness to one of shock. "What? Did you tell Jay?"

"Of course, I didn't tell Jay!" you snapped. "You would've known about it if I had told him right when it happened, wouldn't you?" You paused. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's okay. I, uh, I probably actually deserve that. All this and the stuff you said to me earlier, I mean. I haven't been the best big brother. I know that."

"The first step is admitting you have a problem."

At this, Will cracked a smile. "You've been spending way too much time at the district, haven't you?"

"Probably."

You thought that the two of you were good enough at this point, maybe not close, more like acquaintances, so you started to walk out of the bathroom.

"Y/N, wait," Will called to your retreating back.

"What?"

"There's something else I need to tell you."

You made your way back into the bathroom so that you were standing directly in front of him. "Which is...?"

He pushed himself onto the counter and then sat there. "You didn't get me fired. Sure, the missing documentation for why the meds were used, did give me a write-up, but I wasn't fired because of it."

"So, it wasn't because of me?" you asked. You needed confirmation on this. You had believed, for a year, that it was your friend's actions—which Will thought had been your actions—that had gotten him fired.

"It wasn't because of you. I guess I pissed off the wrong person at work when I told them that they shouldn't be having more plastic surgery because it wouldn't have any benefits. And, it wasn't medically necessary." He paused and cracked a smile. "Yeah, don't say that to someone whose husband is one of the hospital's biggest donors. I only got a small write-up for not having documentation of who the Norco went to and why it was used."

At this, tears began to fill your eyes. "I thought you hated me. You made me believe that it was my fault, that everything was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault. I guess I should've sided with you in the first place. I trusted you more than I trusted this random friend of yours after all."

"I saw her," you said. "I saw her selling them at school. And- And I didn't tell Jay because I didn't want to ruin her life before she even graduated. If I just would've—"

"No, she sold them. You had nothing to with this."

At this, you stood on your tip toes and hugged Will from where he was sitting on the counter.

"Shh, shh, it's okay," he reassured. "It's okay."

"I thought- I thought I'd never talk to you again. That you'd hate me."

"Well, I don't hate you. And, we're talking right now, so I'd say that was wrong."

At this, you laughed a little. "I guess so."

"Now, I'll give you a few minutes to get cleaned up, and then we can figure out the next steps to go and find Beary."

***

"I cannot believe you're making me call Kim and tell her I still sleep with a stuffed animal," you grumbled as you scrolled through your phone to Kim's contact.

"If you don't want to find Beary, then don't call her. But, if you want to find him, calling Kim and Adam is probably our last chance."

You pressed Kim's contact and she surprisingly picked up on the second ring.

"Burgess," she said.

"Hey, Kim, it's Y/N. Is Jay still at the district with you?" you asked and tapped your foot anxiously.

"He just left about two hours ago. Why? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. It's just that...Jay took my bag instead of his and um...uh..." Will rolled his two pointer fingers in the circular motion, silently telling you to wrap it up. "My Build-A-Bear that I sleep with every night is in there and I can't sleep without him. I know it's just a stuffed animal but--"

"Hey, it's a comfort item. Makayla's got her platypus, you have your bear. I'll give Jay a call. He and Hailey haven't had a ton of time yet, which means they're not in super deep with---" She caught herself before she revealed who the team was going after. "They're not in super deep with them yet, so I might be able to get a location for you guys to meet. I'll call you back within an hour."

"Okay, thanks, Kim. And, uh, can you try and not tell everyone the reason for this? Just say I grabbed the wrong bag or something?" You didn't need everyone in Intelligence knowing you slept with a stuffed animal. After all, now half the team, Jay, Hailey, and Kim knew you slept with one, you didn't need the other half knowing as well.

"Will do. I'll call you back soon."

Then, she hung up.

"Good news?" Will asked once you had put your phone back in your pocket.

"She's gonna call Jay," you told him. "She said he shouldn't be in too deep undercover yet, so he might be able to get Beary to me somehow. Said she'll call me back within an hour."

"So, what do you wanna do until then? Just go back home...as in my house?" he asked.

You shrugged.

"Or, we could go split an ice cream mountain?" he suggested.

You laughed. "You're kidding."

"I'm dead serious. C'mon, let's go get some ice cream."

***

The two of you sat at a picnic table outside your favorite ice cream shop in Canaryville. You had been coming here since before you could even remember. And, they had this thing called Ice Cream Mountain, which was three mountains of soft serve ice cream with hot fudge, caramel, Oreos, whipped cream, and cherries all served on a Frisbee.

"You want the first bite?" Will asked.

"You're offering to let me have the first bite? You and Jay always argued over the first bite."

"After everything that's happened, I think it's only fair if I give that up."

"Don't mind if I do." Then, you dug your spoon into a mound of chocolate soft serve ice cream and made sure you had as many Oreo pieces in it as your spoon could manage. "Mhhhhm."

"Good?" Will asked.

"Amazing. Your turn."

And that's how the two of you spent the next fifteen minutes: eating ice cream just like you were kids again. That was until your phone rang.

"Can you get him back?" you asked as you put your spoon down and answered the call from Kim.

"We can get it back. Jay said to meet him in the back parking lot of IHOP. The one near CCU," she answered.

"Okay, we'll be there." You quickly ended the call and then relayed the information to Will. There were only a few spoonfuls of ice cream left which you called dibs on before Will and then ate them.

Then, the two of you were off to go retrieve Beary.

***

"That's him," you told Will. "Unlock the car."

Will quickly did so and Jay looked around and then walked casually to Will's car and hopped in the backseat.

"So, how's the night been?" Jay asked.

"Why's it matter? Give me Beary," you answered quickly. "I swear to God, Jay if you don't have him--"

"Relax, I have him. I just want you to answer the question first."

"It's been good. We got ice cream," you told him. "Ice Cream Mountain."

"So, are you too good now?" Jay asked.

"I think we are," you said. "Will?"

"Yeah, we made up. I even gave her the first bite of Ice Cream Mountain."

"Good. Glad to hear it." Then, he grabbed his phone. "We're all good, guys," he said into it.

"Thank god I can go home now," you heard Adam's voice come from the other end.

Then, the door to the backseat opened again and you froze.

"It's just Hailey," Jay answered.

"You said this would take at least a week," she started. "It only took a few hours."

"Must've been an easy case then," Will said.

"Case? You didn't tell them?" Hailey asked.

"Tell us what?" you asked and looked back and forth between Hailey and Jay.

"There was no case," Jay admitted.

"What? Then why'd you do this to me?" you asked. "You made me freak out and lose Beary for nothing!"

"Technically, he wasn't lost," Jay started to explain. "A few weeks ago, I decided enough was enough between you and Will, so I talked to Hailey and then Kim and Adam and we set this up. There was no case. Me and Hailey were just gonna get a hotel until you made up. But, then I figured it might happen faster if I grabbed the wrong bag and took Beary, so that's what we did."

"You're an ass," Will laughed.

"But, it worked, didn't it?"

"I can't believe you," you stated.

"What's there not to believe?"

"That you would intentionally take Beary from me!"

Jay opened the duffle bag. "He's right here. Safe and sound." He held the open bag to you and he was right. Beary was right where you had thought you had put him in your duffle bag.

"I say we all get IHOP to celebrate," Hailey suggested.

"And that's why we were supposed to come here, too, isn't it?" Will asked.

"Yup. But, you guys just had ice cream, so we can just go home if you want," Jay answered

"Halstead movie night?" you asked.

That was where each of you picked a movie and you watched all three of them together. But, now that Hailey was a Halstead, there would be four movies to watch.

"What's a Halstead movie night?" Hailey asked.

"Of course, he didn't tell you," Will said. And then Will quickly explained what it was.

"Me and Hailey will go get the snacks and you two can go back to our apartment and start figuring out what you want to watch," Jay told you.

"Okay," you said. Then, Jay and Hailey left the car and when they were safely gone, you said, "We're leaving Jay's bag at your house. Karma."

"Deal," Will agreed and then started driving.

You never thought Beary would be what brought you and your oldest back together, but hey, crazier things have happened.

A/N: Thank you for reading and as always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff

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feisaru · 9 months

Note

Oooooo may I ask about 🫂 and 🎭 headcanons for Fei please?!

And if you're still up for more, than 👗 and 🧸 headcanons for Saru please and thank you! uwu///

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry this took so long, I had to think about it

🫂: a hc about friendship

WHOA buckle up this one's a tad bit personal. Him and Saru have been in a "friendship" until they were around 20 years old. Maybe they updated the label to "BEST friends" once, but that was the peak of it (still was a huge step for Saru) (and this made me remember a really bad shitpost scenario ft. my OC). That's when Saru went "haha if it weren't for him, I would be dead by now, might as well just-" and pulled his head out of his ass (this means "stopped being a coward" for those who don't know) and really said "I love you" for the first time without beating about the bush (The reason Fei didn't feel the need to confess before Saru is a topic for another time but here's a hint: it was not because he was afraid of rejection). The thing is, by that point they had been kissing (and everything else basically) in high frequency for a few years already. Most things you'd think are a couple thing, they probably had done already. Their Something, as I like to call it bc that's how Saru started thinking about it one day as well, just had no real label beyond friends (which to Saru is already a special thing, anyway). And they didn't even really feel the need to label it. It was beyond categorization. Their special Something. I'm relatively new to this label in particular, but I guess this goes in the direction of the QPR domain (label that's v dear to me also). Yeah so turning their weird little beautiful Something into an official relationship was in and of itself just a matter of formalities. Quite literally almost nothing changed after they became official partners. But they sure do enjoy telling each other they love each other from that point on. (This makes me wanna reread the other times I've talked about this... damn)

Okay all jokes aside, the real hc was, Zanark and Fei actually get on pretty well. Fei gets on with a lot of people, sure, but Zanark is not so into being friends with everyone and he likes Fei a lot. He thinks Fei is amazing for still being the way he is, for not caving in and letting all that happened weigh him down forever although life has evidently dealt him a bad hand. But he also thinks Fei should most definitely not be shouldering all the burden by himself. I and a friend of mine agreed that it would have been nice if Fei had gotten to structure his thoughts in a more personal talk with someone before the final match. You know, unpacked a bit about Everything that was racing through his head, stated his motivations to someone, made up his mind on some stuff. More explicitly and in more depth and length than canon allowed him to. And even tho Zanark is no expert at comforting, we both thought that Zanark would have liked to check up on him. And Fei would have not had such a hard time explaining some things to him because they are from the same time etc etc. So we roleplayed something that you can imagine as a scene that happened off-screen. It was very very nice I loved that

🎭: a hc about what they lie about

Hard one. Fei doesn't lie a lot. He really sucks at that, as Saru mentioned once. He downplays things or avoids talking about certain topics altogether instead. So even if that's technically cheating, I'll tell you about that instead. He has a tendency to downplay his own feelings and needs. He wants to look after everything and everyone as much as he can and he forgets that he deserves breaks and somebody looking after him too.

👗: a hc about their clothing style

HHHH lotta thoughts on this one actually. But I'mma control myself. Saru is half This Guy Has No Fashion Sense, half Extra. He only knows how to dress when he really wants to. He's gender non-conforming about it. The harder you tell him he shouldn't wear this or that, the harder he wears it. Because he runs on spite. He will wear it because he can, fuck your whole life heteronormativity. He has overly specific kinds of clothes that he feels good in. He loves wearing heels because he is like the dog on the counter that likes feeling Tall.

Okay, so I don't get carried away any more, here's sth more specific: in his generally tad bit less bold first 3-5 years post-CS, he always found himself returning to oversized hoodies and pullovers. There was a rather simple black one that he wore often.

🧸: a hc about their childhood

Hah this one's hard... because these are the thoughts I really only speak about once in a blue moon, even privately with the people closer to me. Let me try and find something that won't feel so exposing (for lack of a better word) in my head.

Once again a beta hc that may change in the future: I like to think that similarly to Fei's rabbit, he once owned a monkey plush. Basically from birth on. I have not yet made up my mind about what exactly happened to it, but whichever was its fate, it wasn't good. Saru quickly grew to be not very fond of it because of who he got it from and what it stood for, to lightly put it. The plush has experienced his beginner attempts at externalizing his inner pain.

Ask game from which this is from

#yea i felt sappy up there dont touch me sniff #and locket #i wanna thank you for always being so kind #it really gets to me🫶🦔#feisaru receives asks #ask game #princesslocket #ask #the only thing that initially came to my mind for the last one was something im not ready to discuss yet actually thats why this took #hella long #inazuma eleven #feisaru

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frogsare-friends · 7 months

Text

I'm Not Built for Helping Myself

chapter index | chapter 4 (you are here)

- JEREMIAH -

I wake up to Laurel yelling at us.

"I told you guys! You cannot be in the same room together, let alone the same bed, with the door closed! What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Laurel, I'm sorry. It's my fault, really." I look between her and Belly. I know things between them have been getting better recently, but I also know it's still tense, still hard for Belly to forgive her.

"Yeah, I figured-" Laurel mutters, getting cut off by Belly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she screams back at her. Tense it is, then.

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't, actually. Do tell, the floor is all yours." I haven't heard her this mad at her mom since their fight last summer. I feel terrible that it's because of me.

"It's fine Bells, it doesn't matter," I try to tell Belly, because really, it is fine. I'm fine. It's not like Laurel was lying, and she's made it extremely clear over the years how she feels about my dating history.

"It does matter, Jere," she tries to tell me. But I just shake my head.

"I'm gonna go shower, yeah? I'm all sweaty and gross." I look for Belly to say something, anything, or even give a nod of approval. But, she doesn't. She just keeps glaring at Laurel.

I leave the room. I love Belly, and I understand having a complicated relationship with your parents, but I can't take any more fighting. Between her and Laurel, Conrad and Dad, and Steven and Taylor, my head might implode.

"That was fucked," Conrad tentatively said, stepping out of his room, "She shouldn't have said that."

"She's not the only one who thinks it." I'm not sure what makes me say it, but it was bitchy of me to say. It's the truth, though. It might have been a low blow, but so was him calling me a slut. I wonder if he even remembers that.

~~~~~

It was last summer, during the fourth. I tried to talk to him about Belly, to apologize. I had been there all week, trying to help him unpack everything. We had three more days until the Conklins arrived, and I needed to see where he was. I didn't wanna be all couple-y in front of him, I knew how much that hurts. We had gotten drunk at the beach, sitting in silence.

"I'm sorry… about everything that happened with Belly. It was fucked up. I didn't want to hurt you, and I know I did, and that this really doesn't fix anything, but I'm sorry. I know how much that shit hurts."

"You don't though," he says, looking straight ahead and more mad than I've ever seen him. "You and Belly hooked up, Jere. You guys aren't serious like me and her were."

And shit, that hurt. But I knew he was mad, that he didn't mean what he was saying.

"It was real for me. I've had feelings for her since we were kids, Conrad," I don't want to fight with him, but I need him to know it wasn't some dumb grudge. She didn't kill my ego, she broke my heart.

"Really? Doesn't seem that way." And fuck, he's always known how to get under my skin.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You never take shit seriously, Jere. Excuse me if I don't believe you changed just for Belly."

"I take things seriously," because what does he think this is? What does he think we are? Why does he think I'm some kid when I haven't been one in a while.

"Not really, you're pretty much just a slut, man." And he sounds so calm, even if the rational part of my brain knows he isn't.

"Fuck you, Conrad. At least I didn't string a girl along her whole life, and another one for a whole summer," I say, storming off. I shouldn't have said that. I always was too good at playing the victim for stuff that's my own fault.

~~~~~

"Dad's coming a few days earlier, he just called me." He almost looks like he's in pain, he never knew how to talk to people. Not like I do. On him, it's charming. I wish it could be that for me too.

"Cool, what day?" I try to sound excited but I don't think I quite manage it, at least not well enough.

"Tomorrow," he blurts out. I've never heard his voice sound quite like that.

"Oh. Yeah, alright," I tell him. It always sucks, seeing our dad, but I don't hate him like Con does. I wish I could.

"He's bringing Angie." And there it is, the thing he's been wanting to say during this whole conversation.

"What the fuck." I've never heard Laurel say fuck before, and as mad as I've heard her be at my dad, I've never heard her sound hurt by him. Hurt for my mom, hurt for Conrad, hurt for me, even.

#tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #jeremiah fisher #tsitp jeremiah #belly conklin #belly x jeremiah #tsitp belly #conrad fisher #tsitp conrad #i'm team jeremiah #team jelly #team jeremiah #jellyfisher #bellyjere fic #bellyjere

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essentiallykpopandbl · 1 year

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Getting to know your BL mutuals

I was tagged by the wonderful @wanderlust-in-my-soul! Thanks!

rules: answer the questions and @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answer.

What have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year? (How many of these am I allowed to do?)

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us - do I need to bring up the person I was during this time? I would not shut up about this show. There was so much to unpack. And I still find it impressive how invested I was into a BL that mostly was just talking in various rooms in a random mansion in the woods, which I know is taking away all the nuances that were happening in the show by describing it like that but that is really what was going on...... and here I go again.

DNA Says Love You- what can I say, this show changed me.

Triage - this show was so hard to get ahold of when it was airing but it was so good I couldn't stop watching. The angry doctor had to rescue the rich brat and both changed because of falling in love. Seriously sign me up!

Star in My Mind - I had no expectations, I feel in love with Dunk before the show started, I am now biased, I loved this show.

Cherry Blossoms After Winter - adopted brothers and a marriage proposal at the end. Of course I loved it.

Secret Crush On You - I watched the first episode *cringe* and stopped watching, I kept seeing the show talked about and by episode 5 I started over to get caught up and I am so glad I did.

Semantic Error - let's be real, this show blew most people that watched it out of the water. It had no right to be so good yet it was, and I loved it.

Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss - it was ridiculous, but so sweet and I loved every moment of it.

What have been the BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

Check Out - wow it was so bad

Enchante - I watched it all, I'm not sure why (no hate to ForceBook)

Plus and Minus - it was going soooo well, then it derailed with the random breakup and I got pretty mad about it on Tumblr. I didn't really forgive it even though it ends happy.

Unforgotten night - oh boy

Kinnporsche - yes, I realize by putting this people might be angry. But I was disappointed. It wasn't the actors, the chemistry, VegasPete, or anything related to Vegas, I just had such a problem with the clearly different directors and random tone changes throughout. It was inconsistent.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

Does Bad Buddy count as this year? I know it was mostly last year. But I lost my marbles over that show. If it doesn't, then maybe Not Me. Or honestly Triage. I loved shows this year that were very story driven.

Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

There are so many! But I will just go with my list of problematic couples that I love so much.

Hirakioyi

Danyok

Vegaspete

Payurain (yeah I know who I am)

Oh and PatPran who are not problematic

What's your non-BL favorite this year?

Kind of depends.... are we talking movie? Top Gun: Maverick. American TV show? Stranger Things season 4 (yeah yeah I'm one of those stranger things fans). Non-american TV show? It didn't come out this year, but I watched it this year and it was so good that im going to use it, Extracurricular. It's a kdrama about a boy in high school who runs a "security service" for prostitutes in order to make money to pay for college. It's dark, and messed up, and honestly kind of brutal, but it was so gripping I couldn't look away. The main character is played by Kim Dong Hee who is able to play the character with so much heart and understanding that you are siding with him and the decisions he is making even though it is very illegal. I can't say enough good things about this show.

I'll tag @pro-xy @silverquillsideas @blueberries1234 @asdfghjklmpff (sorry if you have already done it)

#g2ky bl mutuals 2022 #180 degree longitude passes through us #dna says love you #triage the series #star in my mind #cherry blossoms after winter #mr unlucky has no choice but to kiss #secret crush on you #semantic error #enchante #check out #plus and minus #unforgotten night #bad buddy #not me #my beautiful man #vegaspete #everyone should watch extracurricular #so many bls

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sabakos · 1 year

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So the mountain dew thing I posted the other day is um. Hm. I'm going to turn reblogs off on that actually. It's very good I posted it and got to see people's reactions and I think I made some people laugh with how I presented it, don't feel bad if you reblogged it. but uh. yeah. Not only is it unfortunately true, if anything I downplayed it a bit and left out the parts that weren't funny. Which I now realize I don't really want to think about every time I check my notes tab for the next few weeks. I never kept count but I'm pretty sure I spent more than just a few nights in high school curled up in pain in front of the toilet. I lost over 50 pounds in a year from that.

Kind of maybe also some not-so-unintentional self-harm was going on there I think. It fits in a pattern with some other past habits of mine that I don't post much about because, well, I don't want to turn this into a trauma blog. If you really wanna know, I was a high-functioning alcoholic until age 26. Like, rarely sober outside working hours, most of my calories from alcohol level. End-stage. Due to other personal issues ("wait sabi, weren't you in a serious LTR then?" yes and also my mom was in a psych ward, we don't have time to unpack any of that), I quit drinking cold turkey in 2019 and realized looking through old pictures on my phone that I barely remembered most of what happened in college, let alone anything before that. I don't even know if it's technically amnesia, so much as dissociating so severely from my past. I had a "bit" of a major mental collapse in fall 2019 after quitting drinking as my mind slowly remembered how to have emotions, real clutch scheduling that right before a global pandemic.

Thankfully due to doing nothing for two and a half years, I remember most of college now, and I've been able to recover almost 3 full years of high school from basically fragments in the past year alone. My liver doesn't hurt anymore. I'm also physically repulsed by alcohol as a result of the withdrawal. But it's starting to get back far enough to start reminding me of the previous mental breakdown that I had in middle school that made me almost get held back in 8th grade. I... might decide I don't need to know about anything before that for a little while. Not sure I actually have the ability to make that decision though. It will work itself out nonetheless, it will just be less pleasant.

I've actually almost never actually been suicidal or intentionally thought "oh I'm doing this to hurt myself." But I'm not just shitposting about the whole body dysphoria thing, beyond any gender stuff I just also would prefer not to deal with being a body. I hate every photograph of me as soon as I take it, I can only bear to look at any of them once enough time has gone by that I can trick my brain into thinking it's not me. I believe I drank alcohol for the same reason I drank horrifying concoctions in high school and still sometime make too spicy food or eat so many sour patch kids and takis my mouth bleeds. I only hated the stomach cramps in high school because I didn't know why I had them, but when I finally vomited so hard I puked blood and burst blood vessels in my face, it felt good. I enjoy pain, I like the feeling that my body has been hurt when I'm the one directly causing it. I'm punishing it for existing. I know a couple mutuals of mine probably know exactly what I'm talking about based on their own posts. I also know now that I'm doing this, and that I need to stop doing it. I'm not too worried now that I've figured this out.

But also I think for the first time I can remember, I actively want to continue to exist. I know on some level that I need to accept that that will include my body and not just living out my social life on the internet. I... like other people, not just in a flirty way, and I know I'm saying this on Tumblr of all places but I promise if I ever meet any of you I'm one of the weirdest fucking interesting people you'll ever meet because it's what people are telling me all the time. I'm really shy and don't know how to initiate an interaction with a stranger, but if you can get me to say anything at all, I talk endlessly in my (apparently, strange) voice, I hold my body wrong in distracting ways, I abruptly change topics when I'm not supposed to. None of this occurs to me at the time I'm doing it, and I do know how to act correctly in any situation, I'm just wholly incapable of doing so. But somehow this reads as charming and eccentric rather than horribly rude to most people I meet? People tell me I'm the strangest person they've ever met as a complement. I don't really know why.

All the memories I've recovered have contradicted my past beliefs that I've always struggled to make friends. I think I just... didn't notice? But dozens of my peers consistently made the decision to go out of their way to spend time with me almost the whole time I knew them. I don't think that was out of sympathy, I sure wasn't the Special Ed kid. So I think I actually had close friends almost my whole life from age 10 onward, many of them even? all despite the fact that I wasn't really capable of consciously reciprocating a lot of the time, and that I totally forgot in the years since that some of them even existed until later. So I want to do that again somehow, have a bunch of people I know in real life that I'm close friends with. And actually realize it this time. And I hope I'm not deluding myself with what I remember, though I've been able to independently corroborate enough that I don't think so.

Anyway if anyone was curious, that's... most of my whole brain problems deal from the parts of my life I remember. Or as much as I can condense into a post anyway. Much of it was in fact rather happy and I usually present things in a much more positive light. This post was just not about that.

#personal #really long #dddne #no more on the tags sorry

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caffeinated-rants · 1 year

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Welp, my dad is either drinking or potentially on drugs again. :’)

I talked with my uncle when he came into my work today and we got onto the same page about... quite a bit about my dad-

This past week, my dad called me almost crying because his wife was in the ER back in Montana (he’s in Arizona supposedly) and they wouldn’t tell him why, and so he called to see if I could get my uncle to call him because he isn’t thinking right and had a couple drinks. I said okay and called, left a message, and a text. My dad called again later and said his wife was in the ER because her tongue swelled and she was choking (which to me sounds like an allergic reaction). I calmed him down and we hung up. He then called again and said she was going to be ok and the ER was going to keep her for a couple days, and aside from that reminded me that he’d sent out $100 in the mail to me and wanted me to let him know when it arrived.

Well, my uncle doesn’t actually think his wife had anything happen. She may have, he isn’t discounting that, but he has a feeling it wasn’t true. He also said the “couple drinks” my dad said he had? Yeah no, he apparently couldn’t handle the situation with his wife and went to the bar and spent the $100 he was sending me and that he couldn’t send it now.

After we talked about that, we discussed some other stuff. You see, my uncle has been getting onto my dad to at least help me out when he can. He isn’t expected to solve every problem I have, and I certainly don’t want him thinking I’m getting to know him just to have someone who will have money to give when I ask because that is NOT what I want. My uncle is just telling him that he needs to step up as a father now that he and I are getting to know one another and due to him knowing my financial issues and how I get little to no help from my mom’s side of the family.

My uncle (his name is Mike) brought up the fact that my dad’s brother Jaysen (who recently fixed my bathroom so I can bathe at home again finally) had talked with him and Jaysen even said that things aren’t making sense with my dad and that right now “you can’t believe a damn thing out of his mouth”. He’s gone to 3 or 4 different states because “there’s no work in Montana” and each time says he and his wife will be selling the house, but then the work he gets “doesn’t pan out” and he goes back home. His wife has had to pack and unpack so many times that she told Mike that the next time he says they’re moving that she isn’t even going to bother packing. First it was Idaho, then Carson City (Nevada), and now he’s saying it’s Arizona. He also claimed during the middle of 2022 that his wife had stomach cancer, which ended up NOT being true at all... He also told Mike when he got out of prison that he left the HA’s so they could reconnect, which might be true, but he ALSO used that same exact statement when he said he wanted to have a relationship with me when I first met him during my sophomore year of high school...

Mike and I agreed that something is definitely off, and my mom also agreed. She said it sounds like he’s not happy with his situation with his wife and is either back on dope or is having a mid-life crisis (if not all three). Nothing he is saying makes sense and he’s either telling everyone a different story, or it’s the same story with certain things that are different depending on the person he’s telling it to...

I want to have a relationship with my dad. I do, I really do... but I do need him to step up and get his priorities straight and help me here and there, too. And if he’s back on drugs or going down the alcoholic path again, then I honestly can’t and won’t be around that type of behavior. I already let it halfway happen with my ex-boyfriend given his mom was always on and off of drugs and my mom and her brother (ironically also named Mike lol) both drank heavily when I was a toddler and into kindergarten (mom’s brother didn’t sober up until i was in 8th grade, she sobered during 1st grade for me) I honestly do NOT want to be around that type of trauma again. I’m not going to put myself through it, and if my dad is choosing that path again then it means he won’t get a relationship with me OR with Mike, and if Mike is seen associating with anything related to what got him convicted it will put him back behind bard for life, so my dad would lose two family relationships because of his action. And that’s even worse.

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boyakishannarrative · 1 year

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A pale hand trudges along with the two plastic bags, each holding two paper bags of groceries as his brother ran ahead, kicking snow up as he slid down the hill. "Hurry up brother, it's going to be night by the time we get to the car!" Cheered the equally pale teen. The blue jacketed man grumbled. "Yes. Well if you'd tried helping for-. And he's gone." He thinks, And he wonders why I'm so lazy at home. Before lifting the bags continuing down the hill.

Frisk wasn't exactly what you'd consider normal. For one, her face was more or less fixed at a straight blank boring face, her general bad luck. And there were also those dreams… She shook her head, no time to unpack that now. She might have graduated but today she was gonna visit her goat mom and try not to cause any trouble. Then a tall teen tactfully crashed into her.

Papyrus was a cheery fellow, despite being 15 years old, who hadn't quite grown up yet. A skinny 9 feet tall man skiding down the sidepath would most certainly raise eyebrows, if not for the fact this was Mt. Emmitt and most people here( knew him) were more magical than most of the world. These "monster hubs" named for the prior wars between the two races before the whole demon god event. Stories of that tragedy that ended the wars were old news, there were rumours of a new child taking the Queen's interest and with the royal couple splitting, well it was certainly something Papyrus was annoyed his brother spent all morning looking into. Their father was, well he couldn't remember but Sans said he was a scientist the very best as well as a very powerful wizard. He however was more interested in how fast he could skide (what he called sliding down the side roads) down the street. Or was, until he crashed into the brown haired girl.

"OW!" Sans almost immediately picked up the pace, his brother's call reaching him and in moments (with three snow drag lines) he reached his brother who was clutching his head, a sign held by a chain and a girl trying to console the teen. The bags ripped open, the stress releasing the many pasta sauce bottles and pasta boxes, as Sans ran over. "you ok?" "You his little brother?" Asked the woman, the short man huffed. Barely 4"10, with white hair and blue eyes, at a glance he definitely looked younger.

Sans poked his brother. "Hey, seems your ego has finally fallen down to the appropriate level Icarus." Papyrus seemed to take offence to that as the woman reached for the jars. "Yes, well I didn't have a Daedalus around to warn me. Only this Ariadne." He snapped back, waving at the woman, Sans smirked at his brother's attempt at puns, the woman flushing as she looked up and down at the man. "Yeah, I got nothing. I need to go home and get the Theseus for Minor puns." The woman snorted, dropping the jar of pasta which began to roll down the hill. "Sorry!" Apologised the woman, chasing it to pick it up. Sans caught it in his foot. "Eh, dough, worry about it. Wheel cheese this prostuto back into the meatlocker and cheddarver the issue later." The woman groans, "that's terrible." He smiled back. "Hey, it ain't that bad if you're laughing. Say, I didn't cheese your number yet, mind rolling it over." He states the cheesy line, at this point the woman is clutching her sides. "That's even worse, but here." She scribbled words onto the paper bag. Papyrus staring at the two in disbelief. "My brother's jokes are funny?"

The two walked down to the car, Papyrus carrying the bags as the pair continued cracking jokes. Sans found out she was one of the few pure human immigrants, staying to document historical documents. She most certainly had a strange life leading up to this. She explained it as.

#tag #RickRollAU #Undertale #first revised draft

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dogbook-is-hell · 1 year

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Context: OP has two female “pits” (using it vaguely) that won’t stop fighting (shocker). This commenter (the screen shot) decided they had the best answer to OP’s problem.

I’ve had this one my phone for WAY too long. It’s time to post it I think. There is a lot to unpack here and I think we should burn the whole suitcase. But alas, we will be going through it, sentence by sentence. I haven’t read it in a long time, so I will be picking apart each sentence for the first time as I read it. So buckle up and enjoy!

Sentence 1: Commenter thinks bringing in a large, castrated male will solve the fighting female problem. Why? Beyond me. But clearly a big alpha male will put these two ladies in their place, yeah?

Sentence 2:Yep. There she is, suggesting the whole “alpha dog” BS- which had been disproven- even though it also sounds like she doesn’t know from experience and is just guessing what she thinks will happen.

Sentence 3: Probably the only logical sentence in this entire comment. I don’t remember the females’ histories, but I can’t imagine they would just accept a random male dog being thrown in, another “pit” more or less.

Sentence 4: Commenter is correct. You never know. That doesn’t mean you should find out, however.

Sentence 5: Not saying go out and buy a large male? That is how it sounded to me, but that’s good at least. Not just buying one on a whim. It’s good she also made sure to include he isn’t dog aggressive, but that might not matter if one of the females decides to fight him. Females are brutal. Borrowing a friend’s dog is a bad idea. These dogs clearly like to fight and may want to fight a friend’s dog. Someone could get bit. A dog could be killed. So many unknowns here, why risk this? Why potential put yourself in a legally compromising position? Also, if the dogs already all know each other and get along, he isn’t going to suddenly turn “alpha male” to correct the females fighting.

Sentence 6: Yes, please keep them leashed. Instead of an introduction, why don’t we just focus on separating the females? Once again, possible legally compromising position if it doesn’t go the way you hope it does. Neutral territory is good, but then bring them back to the house? No no no.

Sentence 7: A male 5-6 years old? Introducing an adult dog to two fighting adult female pits is not going to end well. Especially with everything labeled above. It’s just asking for an even bigger fight to break out.

My Advise: First things first. Take the females to the vet for a check-up. Sometimes medical issues can trigger aggressive behavior. If that checks out, then OP just simply has a couple of female pits that are aggressive. It’s unclear whether it would be dog aggression, same-sex aggression, the desire to fight, or littermate syndrome. Either way, training and management are the next steps. Behaviorist or trainer if possible. Sometimes the training isn’t worth the risk, so that would need to be evaluated first as well as if there even is any chance at comparability. If it’s too dangerous to train then the focus needs to be ok management. Making sure the dogs aren’t around each other ever again. Crate and rotate is always an option if OP doesn’t want to rehome. Leashes, tie outs, muzzles, training for rhe dogs individually, ect are all great tools and skills for the dogs as well. Also, get a breakstick in case a fight does happen.

Sometimes bull breeds love to fight. It’s in their history, their blood. It isn’t just bull breeds either, some LGDs and mastiffs are also used or have been historically used for fighting. It doesn’t suddenly make these dogs bad dogs. All breeds have their own specific nature and then the individual dog as well. It’s important to know what you have so you can prepare. So you can accommodate. So you can be the best owner possible for your dog.

I’ve had to put a dog down who loved to fight. She was the best damned dog ever, but it was his in her nature. It was becoming more and more of a problem as she got older. I don’t agree with putting a dog down because it’s dog aggressive- because it’s being the breed it is- but when the dog can no longer be safely contained, cannot be rehomed, has a history before you got it, or puts others at risk, then behavioral euthanasia might be a possibility that should be contemplated.

Not ever breed is the right fit for ever owner. Not ever dog will be the right fit either. And then of course, sometimes accidents can happen. Sometimes dogs do make bad choices.

But don’t make it worse. Don’t add more fuel to the fire. Introducing a third dog in this instance is a very irresponsible idea. It could lead to disaster and no one wants that.

#dogbook is hell #dogbook #dog #dogs #dogblr #bad recommendations #dog snob #facebook #purebred snob #pit bull #pit bull terrier #american pit bull terrier #american pit bull #apbt

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