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the-witchhunter · 2 months

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DP x DC worlds greatest detectives ramble

You ever just get a bit tired of the batfamily being dumb?

Sure I appreciate a good “Danny is weird and the Bats try to figure out his deal and draw wrong conclusions based on incomplete evidence” fic as much as the next guy, and I’m definitely not saying not to write them

But the thing is, they’re all really smart. It’s their whole thing, they’re a family of detectives that dress up in colorful costumes and fight crime, but detectives nonetheless

And I get it’s for humorous effect to have otherwise intelligent people be incredibly dumb about one thing, but it’d just be nice to see them be smart sometimes. Even in a fic where they’re drawing the wrong conclusions, it’d be nice to see them use their detective skills

Like build a case so solid Danny questions whether they’re actually right about him and if he’s just confused

Or just apply it to more conventional situations/crimes

Because frankly it’s funnier if you show they’re smart before having them do something really stupid

If you build them up a bit, then it’s funnier when they fall down.

“Where did he go? It’s like he vanished into thin air!?”

“Don’t be silly, see these scuff marks? Someone recently went down this way. The gravel here has been disturbed indicating this manhole cover has been moved recently. Now if we just prop this up…”

“…huh, is that…?”

“Killer Croc and not the twink we were just tracking?”

“Yeah, that”

“Yeah, that’s killer croc… hi Waylon”

*large scaly hand darts out and drags Bat in question down in the sewers while Danny watches invisibly*

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dp x dc ramble #just some thoughts #it’s just getting a little old to see them mainly used in idiot plots #they’re extremely intelligent people #I get it’s harder to write people being intelligent than it is for them to be dumb #but it’d be nice to acknowledge that they are actually successful detectives sometimes #they have their issues #stubbornness and not always communicating #but they’re clever

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birbykirb · 4 months

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I might be a little late to the meme lol, but I think this combo would be super funny; the blue blurs

#looks like we're gonna have to kill this guy #sonic #blurr tf #transformers #transformers blurr #I think I’m so clever #also just #they’re my two fav characters in general atm

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magicicephoenix · 1 month

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(the nickname Squeaky did, in fact, stick)

Toony and ASHTE!Bendy being a duo because they’re my AUs and i said so. Bendy has a… prickly personality but Toony can soften just about anyone’s heart :)

bonus:

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy #the ink demon #toony #ath au #ashte au #ftf-bauc #doodle dump #ashte!bendy sighting!! everyone soak it in. he still hasn’t appeared on the ask blog in full so i guess this is his design reveal #ft. toony being smart because they are! they’re very clever!! and a very fast learner! they just don’t know a lot of things yet #these two absolutely become best buds. toony’s good at understanding ashte!bendy and ashte!bendy actually trusts toony!#he won’t admit it though #in case you’re curious this is from a silly au crossover thing i’ve been writing for myself :P that’s what the ftf-bauc tag is

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merakiui · 6 months

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these octavinelle rings………

#meraki mumbles #AAAAA THEY’RE SO PRETTY AND ELEGANT \(//∇//)\#and putting the gemstone as eye placement for jade and floyd!!!!#it’s so clever!!!!!! :O #why look for traditional wedding bands when you could use octavinelle rings instead? (*´꒳`*)

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redkelpfish · 1 year

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I know we all clown on Tim Drake for having a moral code that’s just “whatever the opposite of what I think will make me evil gun batman” but have you considered Tim Drake is absolutely the kind of feral bastard to carefully design and create an entire illusion of inevitability just to manipulate his younger self into not becoming a supervillain.

Like do you think Future Tim just set aside some really crazy weekends. Do you think he was the worst drill sergeant ever when making his friends practice their lines and backstories over and over until they locked him in a closet with no electronics

#any continuity errors are actually the result of the future titans forgetting their lines #(they’re terrible at improv)#tim made the executive decision that he couldn’t be trusted and he was right #he thinks he’s so clever and his friends are looking at him like ‘can you please pretend you’re acting like even a little bit’#‘we know you aren’t actuallly but like for our peace of mind’#what he doesn’t know is that his friends only go along with it to let him get out his evil supervillain tendencies in a #semi-controlled environment #you know how you take your dog out before you leave so they don’t destroy the house #exactly like that #dc #batman #tim drake #kon el #bart allen #cassie sandsmark #dc comics #titans of tomorrow #teen titans

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marrfixated · 4 months

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Eman. Eman this isn’t funny. Don’t do this to me.

#(Priya’s VA if you didn’t know)#original post #total drama #total drama 2023 #total drama island #total drama reboot #Mkulia #td mk #td Julia #td priya #I love her lol #hmmm she did word it weird… they think they’re so clever 😡

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insanesonofabitch · 11 days

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Today I learned that deancasbenny is sometimes called destiny and God. I’ve never seen such a name for a ship that’s equally poetic as it is ironic. I would’ve called it poetic irony but that would wrongfully imply that they’re given what they deserved. It’s hauntingly beautiful.

#I fucking love naming things more beautiful ship names please #it’s such a clever little name that’s so packed with so much meaning #which I don’t think was even intended at all—no one really knew that god and destiny would’ve fucked them up back when it was created.#someone probably just thought “oh they’re destined together that’s cute <3”. they had no fucking idea.#but also it’s about how they each all tried to fight against their fates and what was “meant to be” in their own ways.#but ultimately still lost.#this might never be topped.#supernatural #spn #destiny #deancasbenny #destiel #deanbenny #casbenny #dean winchester #castiel #benny lafitte #purgaytory

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codgod · 9 months

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was looking at the wiki page for fusions and it mentioned that fusions generally occur when two gems have synchronised goals/thoughts and well. what better way to fuse for the first time than while trying to save your weird little rock child from shattering

they don’t even realise they’re fused until after they’re sure juanaflippa is safe and then they just immediately fall apart lol

#.jpg #qsmp #qsmp slime #qsmp mariana #juanaflippa #slimeriana #qrystal gems #< that’s the tag now. they’re not rlly the crystal gems i’m just trying to be clever #i forgot i was gonna make the eggs tiny i guess they’re just kid sized now lol #oh and shout out to gulfie for the idea to draw their first fusion

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pizzaqueen · 1 year

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Eddie, who brings Steve random stuff (pebbles, bits of string, a weird looking stick), and Steve who is the kind of guy who can MacGyver shit, are a perfect match

#steddie #Steve x eddie #i have a whole fic I’m working on about this (minus the macgyver part) but I figured I’d post this #there was this lovely art about Steve keeping all the things Eddie brings him which might be how this stuck with me #but I can’t find it! it was from a few months back I think???#pizzaqueentxt #anyway everyone laughs at Eddie bringing Steve stuff until they’re in a sticky situation and he makes something from it that saves them #my brain has turned off so I can’t be cleverer than that lol

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soup-of-the-daisies · 4 months

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dunno why but orion black slapping the ‘best protective spells known to wizardkind’ on grimmauld place prompts the image of him knowing sirius ran away the moment sirius made the decision. like the house wakes him up all “MASTER!! MASTER THERE IS A DISTURBANCE!!” so orion goes to sirius’ room in his snork mimimi nightshirt and makes direct eye contact with his oldest son. who is halfway through the window with his school trunk and an ancient broom orion’s quite certain he bought for himself when he turned 23. and sirius lifts his middle finger to his mouth shush and flip orion off simultaneously and orion simply turns back around and goes back to bed. because that’s fair and most importantly something to deal with when he isn’t still half drunk from his nightly nightcap.

#sirius isn’t it breakfast (or anywhere in the house) the next morning #walburga is freaking out because what do you MEAN sirius is gone kreacher?? orion do you know where our son is???#and orion’s like ‘i’ve no idea dearest’ because it’s true #sirius black #orion black #the noble and most ancient house of black #i like it when orion (neglectful absent father) doesn’t actually give one flying fuck what his kids do #as long as they use their brain properly #like oh sirius you like the mudbloods now? whatever just be clever about it #ah regulus you want to join the dark lord and die horrifically? sure have fun #deep down he cares but on the whole he’s got no interest on what they’re doing whatsoever #he’s the type of dad who forgets your birthday and the way your name is spelled #he didn’t even want kids he just had to have them bc of tradition #meanwhile walburga is screaming her head off in outrage ♥️ and orion goes and locks himself in his study #at least the family ledgers give him less of a headache

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pigdemonart · 2 years

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Elesa and her (dance) partners ⚡️

I’ll clean these up later. Just wanted to share a bit of today’s warm up.

Directly inspired by @alfheimr ‘s nimbasa trio dance art btw. Their art is 🥰🥰🥰!

#submas #nimbasa trio #airplaneshipping #cannot rest until i give elesa the love she deserves.#also can people help me come up with a name for these four. i dont wanna leave skyla out of the ….#the gang squad fam friend-polycule lmao #its gotta be something clever but i cant think of anything but -trains planes and automobiles- lmfaooo #my brother my brother and my sapphic ass #they’re like mystery inc but their mascot is freight train #ruh roh ringo -SOUNDS OF METAL SCRAPING TRAIN TRACKS-

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starishsky · 7 months

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these doodles too

#chreon #chris redfield #leon kennedy #starishsky draws #I do have a sketch tag it’s so clever it’s #starishsketch #but I kinda like these #these are both post vendetta #first one is when they’re in the hospital and Chris really wants 2 kiss him but they’re in public #the second is right after. they’re having sex. makin love. old man yaoi #and chris doesn’t want 2 disturb any injuries #but Leon is like stop being so nice #I think chris wants to be gentle with him post vendetta #I have thoughts

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princessefemmelesbian · 9 months

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Well would you look at this. 😵‍💫 Because obviously if you dare say anything as wild and controversial as “lesbians don’t like men, please stop using a label that hurts us and tries to force men into our identity” you’re a raging terf radfem transmisogynist. Because obviously ONLY trans women use the bi lesbian label and it’s not like there are transfem lesbians who are rightfully against the label as well or anything and it’s not like terfs use the label to refer to cis lesbians who date trans women and why can’t you just let people identify as how they want of course lesbians like men stop the infighting already if you disagree with me that lesbians can like men then surely that’s because you’re an exclusionist gatekeeper who hates trans women.

#lesbian #anti-bi lesbian #trans women #lesbophobia #the raging hatred for lesbians on this site is getting to an all-time high tall will stop at NOTHING to gaslight us and make us out to be #hateful terf bitches for our sexuality #how many times are we going to do this same old song and dance #no i will not calm down i will be taken seriously #you CANNOT be a bi women as a lesbian idfc if you’re trans or cis #lesbians do not like men and bi women shouldn’t have to ‘oick a side’ by calling themselves lesbians #it’s absurd maddening and sad how little y’all respect us #and trans women always have a place in the lesbian community that doesn’t mean that ACTUAL MEN DO #shit #trying to frame this as ‘well you must be a terf if you are against bi lesbians’ is a shitty move and you’re not being original or clever #go fuck yourself #trans lesbians exist and are valid and the bi lesbian label hurts them just like it hurts cis lesbians if anything it hurts them more so #and i will block ANYONE who supports bi lesbians it doesn’t matter if they’re a trans woman a cis woman a trans man non-binary etc idfc #stop trying to frame this as exclusionary radfem rhetoric #bi lesbian as a term DOES support corrective rape idgas what lesbophobes like you want to say about it #that’s all goodbye #sorry but this got me mad you do not get to use transmisogyny as a clutch to spout blatant ass lesbophobia #i’m so tired of this shit #blocklist #op

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maybeitsalivescribbles · 2 months

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VH - Lost Soul

(tw: it’s backstory time for Vampire Hero, and it isn’t very nice. Lots and lots of torture mentions.)

Vampire Hero was in hell, although not for the reasons Villain thought.

According to his watch, he’d been trapped in this maze for hours. Amid the many gifts his vampire nature had given him, a sense of direction wasn’t among them. He’d tried to punch the walls, but that would have taken too long to burst through them. They were even thicker than the skull that had thought of such a stupid thing to build. What he could do was leaving a dent to make sure that yes, he’d been there before. He had his phone on him, but there was no wifi, so no way to use his GPS. He had very little battery left anyhow– he had emptied most of it to send his wife pictures of bats on his way, which was as far as he was concerned a very good and judicious use of it. All of that was already a bore, but to make the game even funnier, the labyrinth was full of traps.

Full of pathetic traps. The ground collapsed under his feet, rocks were falling on him, all of that accomplishing nothing – but it was annoying enough that it disrupted his concentration, preventing him to find a way out. That was not the main problem, though. There were screens everywhere, too high to reach, and Villain. Never. Stopped. Talking.

“What is good and evil ? Do you know for sure what the limit is ? Good is supposed to follow the law, but is the law always good ? Isn’t it pride to do what feels right ? You think you want to stop me, but aren’t you being selfish by doing what you want ?”

She’d kept going like that for hours now. Nails on a blackboard would have sounded nicer. Not only the words were as hollow as a dead snail, but the inflection of that pompous voice was unbearable. Vampire Hero was seriously tempted to hit his head against the wall to stop hearing anything, but that didn’t seem like it’d work in the long term.

At his limit, he stepped up, his lips pinched, and finally yelled back:

“Four words. Grow the fuck up.”

“That’s all you have to say ? You’re not much for philosophy.”

“You call that philosophy ? I hate to break it to you, but knowing that good and bad are social constructs is not some kind of genius insight. All I see is a kid yelling at me that she’s very smart. You don’t give a crap about all of this. You just want to prove to yourself how very superior you are.”

“Do you think you’re better than me ?”

“The bar is low.”

“Oh, because you’re good now ?”

Vampire Hero stopped dead in his tracks:

“Even before, I was better than you."

He raised his arms and bared his teeth, his voice loud:

"You think that you’re bad ? You’ve got nothing on me ! I lured people and made them dance with me over broken glass. I had them rot blindfolded in animal cages for days until they had to lick their own blood. I had cozy nights with them having a friendly little chat in the living room while I was drinking from a corpse, and they knew that if they broke they were next. I made them starve and eat their loved ones. And I loved it ! I loved all of it ! I loved the light dying in their eyes. I thought I was clever ! I am half the reasons you’re shaking at night !”

“Zdiiiiiiiingbonnng,” made the rock on Hero’s head. He sighed in exasperation and stopped talking, wiping gravel from his hair.

“I know about you.” said Villain. “The hero agency’s lackey. Aren’t you ashamed ? You were a great prince, once.”

“Actually, I never was really tall.”

“Go ahead, hide yourself behind this kind of childish retorts. But admit it: you’ve sunk low. You arrest people who weren’t caught like you and you bring them to the authority, like a good dog. Has it ever occurred to you how much of a failure you’ve become ?”

“No.”

“Then why did you stop ?”

“If I tell you the story, will you finally shut up ?”

“Perhaps.”

“Worth it.”

Vampire Hero jumped over a couple of spikes, groaned when he realized that his jeans had a new hole, and said:

“Once upon a time, asshole, I was living happily in my castle all alone. I was rich, I was immortal, I had everything I wanted, and what I wanted was a lot of toys.”

He glanced around him, noticed nothing that indicated he was on the right path, and sighed.

“By toys I mean humans, of course. I chose among the prettiest, kindest, bravest, and I tortured them to death. I hurt them until they didn't have anything to break. I was good at it. I experimented things that would give you and all of you so-called Supervillains nightmares for years. But, you know. Decade after decade, still doing the same thing – I was getting bored. I felt empt- aw man, a dead end again ?”

He turned on his heels, swearing. That was obviously the wrong way to solve his problem. The walls were smooth and impossible to climb, so it had to be arranged. He caught a rock and throw it against the hard surface with a little more strength than necessary.

“Well, anyway. I heard there was a great conqueror who wanted the world. I made my first travel since decades, by curiosity. I wanted to see by myself who could challenge me.”

“And you fought him and you lost ?”

“I told you to shut up. I met her, and not long after I was her lucky, lucky husband. I never had her ambition, but of course I supported her. She encouraged my own little hobby in return, so I became her special torturer. My life was even more perfect, and there was this void inside me, and I hated it, and I didn't understand it. And what happened happened. I tortured the wrong person.”

“Define wrong ?”

“It was the daughter of a vampire hunter.”

“A poor choice.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. The guy was really good at his job. He was already pissed off because of the world-conquering plan, but after I did that, well, he cursed my wife and I – oh, enough with this.”

Punctured by rock impacts, the wall in front of him wasn’t so smooth anymore. Vampire Hero took a run-up, jumped and landed on the top of it. He had a nice view on the labyrinth now. For the first time, he took the right direction.

“ That’s cheating,” complained Villain.

“I don’t care.”

“What then ?”

“What then ? I had a bad century. The hunter couldn't kill me, so he drank my blood to prolong his own life and tortured me. He got good at it, too. I felt what I’d made the others feel, but only at first – after ninety years it was back to nothing. I was 300 years old and reality was fading. I was a leech. I hadn’t made a thing for myself.”

“You mean you went soft because of a little torturing?”

“No. I got old. When you have a couple of centuries, this torture-people-to-death shit doesn’t have the same kind of kick anymore. You try to get creative, but it doesn’t help. You feel nothing. So there’s nothing else you can do but stop. And speaking of stopping, it’s your turn.”

Vampire Hero was now at the center of the labyrinth. He jumped to a silver door, decided he was too done with the whole thing to use the knob, and broke it open.

Villain turned towards him, a small smile on her face, and opened her arms in a welcome gesture:

“Behold, vampire ! This room have been made of silver walls and floor. You won’t be able to enter without squirming in agony and -

Vampire Hero stepped in. Villain braced herself for his cries of pain, but there was none. He still looked bored out of his mind. There was a long silence.

“That’s – that’s not possible.”

Hero laughed. A slow, sinister laugh that made Villain’s eyes open wide.

“What are you ?” she whispered. “You can’t be a vampire. You should be crawling on the ground.”

“Don’t you listen ? I told you I’ve been tortured for decades. You know what an immortal body does when it regenerates back for the hundredth time ?"

He pointed to himself. There was a subtle change in his appearance. He still looked like his unimpressed self, but his usual lightness was replaced by something much darker. It was his eyes. Staring into them was like gazing into some horrible, nameless abyss. There was nothing human about them. They could only belong to some ghastly creature who'd lived centuries, not particularly nice ones.

Vampire Hero chuckled, and Villain shuddered.

"It gets tougher," he only said. "I’ve lost touch and taste. I feel nothing. Nor warmth or cold, and certainly not pain. My body is cut from the outside world. There's not much that feels real to me. You know what it is?”

He walked towards Villain, who took a step back and said:

“I hope you realize you’re monologuing yourself.”

“Habits die hard. I want to go back tonight and kiss my wife on the top of her head, just in the middle. It’s our habit. That’s all that matters. If I have to be on this side to support her, so be it. I don’t care about evil or good, and it won’t prevent me to eat your vocal chords if you’re off again. So, are you going to keep talking or finally shut the hell up ?”

“You know what, I think I’m good.”

Vampire Hero is a recurring character. His job is to troll current villains. Check the Vampire Hero Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with him.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

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heartfeltletters-written · 8 months

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thinking about how interesting the black family could be as a whole but fannon has twisted their personalities so deeply that they’re unrecognizable and refuses to write them as the morally grey/dark characters that they are !!

sirius perpetuating the views of his family in his first year as a gryffindor and having james always correct him. sirius suffering through his teenage years because he wants to please his family so badly so he learns to lie and manipulate but at the same time feels conflicted and wants to be a good person bc … the potters

regulus being a assumed death eater who honestly hated his brother bc he was the perfect heir but now he has to do sirius’ work. give me regulus enjoying hurting people because it pleased his family and he was hungry for acceptance to then later find out voldemort secret and completely freak out and how that affected his morals

bellatrix being the crazy one where all the expectations were on her and craving ambition so when the opportunity arose she took it without hesitance becoming voldemort most trusted follower. but also give me bellatrix being so annoyed and angry at andromeda and sirius for leaving all of them because family should come before everything and do they not see the sacrifices she made for all of them, being the eldest ??

narcissa and her perfect life and how she alone uphold the black family moto while everyone else was either in jail/dead or burned from the family tree so she took it up to herself to carry her family’s name and honor. give me narcissa agreeing with voldemort’s ideals of blood purity but not agreeing with the violence and the killing. give me narcissa seeing andromeda across the room and not being able to reach but wanting too because that’s her big sister but knowing she can’t because she betrayed them all for an inferior being and narcissa kind of hates her but she really doesn’t

give me andromeda missing her sisters so much and wondering how they were doing. give me internal conflict and guilt for leaving her family behind but also no regret because she loved ted and her daughter so much. give me her visiting bella in azkaban because she wanted to see her because she’s still her sister even if she hates her.

give me blacks and their family DRAMA !! give me complicated emotions forged upon years of abuse and sibling competition. missing each other and doing nothing about it so much so that it’s bellatrix who kills sirius which makes it even more heartbreaking. give me their mistaking painful longing with hate.

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