thinking about how interesting the black family could be as a whole but fannon has twisted their personalities so deeply that they’re unrecognizable and refuses to write them as the morally grey/dark characters that they are !!
sirius perpetuating the views of his family in his first year as a gryffindor and having james always correct him. sirius suffering through his teenage years because he wants to please his family so badly so he learns to lie and manipulate but at the same time feels conflicted and wants to be a good person bc … the potters
regulus being a assumed death eater who honestly hated his brother bc he was the perfect heir but now he has to do sirius’ work. give me regulus enjoying hurting people because it pleased his family and he was hungry for acceptance to then later find out voldemort secret and completely freak out and how that affected his morals
bellatrix being the crazy one where all the expectations were on her and craving ambition so when the opportunity arose she took it without hesitance becoming voldemort most trusted follower. but also give me bellatrix being so annoyed and angry at andromeda and sirius for leaving all of them because family should come before everything and do they not see the sacrifices she made for all of them, being the eldest ??
narcissa and her perfect life and how she alone uphold the black family moto while everyone else was either in jail/dead or burned from the family tree so she took it up to herself to carry her family’s name and honor. give me narcissa agreeing with voldemort’s ideals of blood purity but not agreeing with the violence and the killing. give me narcissa seeing andromeda across the room and not being able to reach but wanting too because that’s her big sister but knowing she can’t because she betrayed them all for an inferior being and narcissa kind of hates her but she really doesn’t
give me andromeda missing her sisters so much and wondering how they were doing. give me internal conflict and guilt for leaving her family behind but also no regret because she loved ted and her daughter so much. give me her visiting bella in azkaban because she wanted to see her because she’s still her sister even if she hates her.
give me blacks and their family DRAMA !! give me complicated emotions forged upon years of abuse and sibling competition. missing each other and doing nothing about it so much so that it’s bellatrix who kills sirius which makes it even more heartbreaking. give me their mistaking painful longing with hate.
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Penciled Lines
(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)
Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.
Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.
And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.
Missa can hardly breathe.
Oh no.
He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.
Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.
“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.
Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.
Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line.
So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.
Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under.
Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.
~*~
A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.
Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.
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I was iffy about your depiction of Grian at first but I think I've come to enjoy how you and others portray him. A child, a pet, a dog. It's an interesting portrayal that has me wanting more, you know?
Every time you post about him or answer an ask to do with what I mentioned, I lean forward and get invested. It's so fun to read what you have to say about this side of Grian and what others have to say as well.
It's very inspiring to say the least. :3
oh mannn thank u haha, i am pretty nervous about this portrayal honestly LOL, it feels like a very careful balance...... i am concerned abt people misunderstanding me and my drawings/writing.
I don't usually see people write the Watchers as Beings beyond just evil death games, so i rly wanted to explore that myself, and see how life would be for Grian after joining.
They're not evil on purpose, they're just different. Aliens? Angels? Having the power to touch the very code of reality makes you forget how fragile some things are.
Regardless, they do love Grian, they don't mean to treat him like a child, but hes so young compared to them, so small, its automatic, instinctual almost. He shows so much potential, its something to protect and nurture.
I don't want him to suffer forever of course, its just backstory, a cautionary tell, if you will?
glad you're having fun tho ! i am also having fun making it haha
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I’m going to need a spin-off series or at least an AU where we see what the mutant villains did offscreen during the series because the stuff we seen can’t even be half of the weird adventures they go on.
Like in Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man, we see Hypno, Meat Sweats, Warren Stone, and Repo participate in Big Mama’s demolition derby. How did they get there, how did they learn about it?
Or in Pizza Puff, we see Meat Sweat trying to poison Guy Flambé with magical food, why did he get those ingredients? Has he tried to poison anyone before since his mutation
Or both in the show and shorts we see multiple times the mutant villains being so petty to fight the turtles despite them not doing anything to warrant a fight at the moment. Meat sweats in C.O.W.A.B.U.N.G.A and Hynpo wanting to hypnotize and make a school disappear because a middle schooler impressed the local press. If they’re so petty to fight literal children, I want to see them what other petty stuff they do offscreen.
I want to see how they navigate life now with their mutations, mutants like D.I.G.G and Bellhop wanting to fulfill their dreams but needing to hide their mutations. I would also like to see how they integrated into Yokai’s society, seeing the deleted storyboard of Wedder Smashers/Crashers where Ghostbear was marrying a Luchadora chupacabra yokai and invited some of the mutants to his wedding.
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Never knew I could become fixated on my own silly Sonic Frontiers AU but it's finally at a point where I feel comfortable enough to share it with the wider world! I also wrote all this up at like midnight so sorry if stuff doesn't make sense.
Whole premise is "what if Shadow was in Frontiers" which isn't a unique thought but I wanted to try my own spin on it! Calling it the Mnemonic AU for now since that's just have I've been titling files I save for this as.
Mnemosyne Island replaces Rhea Island in terms of story progression, combining all of the towers into one. Still working on some of the finer details but the chaos emeralds are involved so that Sonic, Shadow and their koco companion can have some quality time together.
Also! Have some rough environmental drawings because I cannot get certain scenes out of my head!!
My whole goal of this was to explore a bit of the harder to obtain voice lines on Rhea Island and how that would play in to someone besides Sage being there to witness Sonic at his lowest before the corruption fully takes over.
Oh and also to have more qpr sonadow content that scratches my particular itch of them having an incredibly deep bond and how that gets put to its limit.
More doodles and ramblings under the cut!
I have most of the main story beats planned out especially with how the ending plays out. It would follow the Final Horizon update in terms of how Ouranos Island plays out plus! Then there's also more potential for character interactions which I adore exploring.
Got no idea for how Shadow ends up at the Starfall Islands. Maybe he's out with Rouge and Omega and he's the only one that finds the portal that ends up transporting him to the islands. Anyways, at least he and Knuckles have that in common.
Shadow's memory token is lavender which I used primarily because it's more neutral than some of the other symbols I see with Shadow a lot. His koco's design was... a pain but I'm ultimately happy with it since they are fun to draw hehe.
The fic itself is gonna be a long one!! Not sure how long yet as I'm still writing it but I've gotten rough drafts for the first three chapters with chapter four on the way. I'm guessing somewhere around 40-60 k words?? Based purely on the chapters I have written right now and how many words they are.
I'd love to post the fic at some point but I want to wait until I have a little more of a back log/more polished since it's my first fan fic and I am a little nervous about it haha.
If you read this far thank you??? It means a lot and I just hope people enjoy this silly au hehe.
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one thing i've just been noticing abt ivory's videos is just. the idea of proving yourself, despite all of the odds against you. if its fighting a 100 wardens or killing god, there's always something to be proven. it's proving that you are capable of accomplishing anything, and you'll do so in a heartbeat.
and that, of course, builds a reputation, right? everyone knows ivory! and she's built a very intense reputation for herself, and she's pretty much feared on every single smp shes on
but with that reputation...you're pressured to keep it up. you're forced to go onto the next big thing. to prove that you can accomplish anything in a heartbeat.
so you do the same things over and over again, ramping up the stakes without taking a minute to calm down and breathe
but maybe, there's a small part of you that begs you to stop. to slow down, take a moment for yourself, and take a moment to look back at everything. just to rest
but.
you have a reputation to uphold. even as part of you screams at you and forces you to put in the breaks, the only thing on your mind is to keep on going. to prove you can do what you've set your mind to, and what you've worked so hard for.
(but in the end, it barely feels like anything before you turn away and look for the next accomplishment to complete, because you've killed off the part that forces you to step back and question what you're doing.)
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