One thing about my worldbuilding that isn't really important, I just think it's cute: the Pokemon anime is a TV show within the main gameverse and it's meant to educate kids about certain Pokemon while telling it's own story that's very, very, verrry loosely based on Red's journey.

"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…" (The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)

so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks! i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18. the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.

anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur

(i recommend listening along while scrolling! + transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)

Ok so Henry absorbs everything about a person when he kills which is why even though they revived max she's still not there, because she's with him. So when he killed Will in s1 and HE was revived part of him is still with Henry OR part of Henry is still with Will (like a horcrux) which is how the mindflayer kept finding him when Will crossed over to the upside down when he had his "episodes" even though Will is good at hiding because Henry could sense him and it's also the reason Will can sense HIM. He knew exactly what the "mindflayer" wanted and it was to kill everyone BUT WILL. Henry wants Will alive which is why he didn't keep his mind when he killed him but he still killed him. Will was the FIRST sacrifice which is why it all meets at the library where he died. This is also, I feel, how they're going to get max back. Because Will could be able to get into his mind the way he got into Wills, he could find her and set her free.

🦷📱💭

"I love my 'puter!! ^_^ All my friends are i--" *discord account gets deleted unless because a 16 y/o and their 130 friends mass-report me for something a DIFFERENT ACCOUNT WITH A SIMILAR USERNAME TO ME DID*

*cant get my account back unless i pay $150*

going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.

being autistic in the mormon church

being autistic in the mormon church was, for me at least, a weird experience. because i wasn't excluded or mocked very often, just smothered in that strange warm beige obligation. because they could tell, they knew i was different just like i did. so they held my hand, told the other children to be nice to me, to make sure i felt included. and my peers did, cause they didn't have a choice, raised to be polite and kind no matter what just like i was. so i was included and invited places, always as an afterthought or a checked box but invited nonetheless, injected into conversations and games by adults that my peers wouldn't dare contradict. 'well meaning' adults who ask me if im okay or if i want to join the group, talking down in the sweetest tones. every christmas and on every birthday they still track me down to give me a card about how much they miss my 'unique perspective', even though i always tried my hardest to fit in and say the normal things.

"Look at that one. it's different and broken, but you must be kind to it. help it stay in the light of god, because god is the only way to save it. we're good, and righteous, and its so lucky to be in the church because we're the only ones who'll ever tolerate it, because that's what god wants."

and i miss it sometimes. standing on the edge of people who i desperately want to be friends with, flitting around in the back of stores and staring at concert posters indecisively until the date has passed. never finding the right spot in a conversation to talk, never working up the courage to ask if i can come too, i miss the people who had to be nice. who had me on a little list in their mind of what they need to get to heaven.

but im never going back. because even i could feel that it was fake. i felt watched and judged and pitied at all times, by peers who would ask me if i was coming then talk amongst themselves about jokes i didnt get and shared friends i didnt know. and i may be lonely now, but id rather do the work and be awkward and sick with nerves and find people and spaces that i actually want to be in who actually want me to be there, even if it seems impossible now. id rather that than go back to that warm suffocating place, familiar like the worst kind of family.

also telling that all the adults im talking about are either women/afab people or members of the bishopric, people whose 'job' it is to be welcoming and nurturing, though these experiences are mostly from young womens so that would also be it, but even women who arent involved in the yw leadership are raised and taught and obligated to do this and i dont blame any of them but its always made me wildly uncomfortable. never as much as random men who would sit down next to me and just start talking like we knew each other tho so eh

poppo oc that i made as a joke accidentally breaching containment. maybe.

why can't a boy take a break from the horrors ? oh, must i always suffer this way ? is there no end to this madness ?

Honestly though, being serious with all the Kate and William theories and rumors going on, I do hope their kids are doing okay and will come out of this fine, because it cannot be easy for the kids to be stuck in the middle of all this.

he has gotten a little bigger

Man it's actually really fucking me up that now of the 3 times I've brought up watching thus show the almost immediate reaction is Why, and That doesn't seem like something You'd be into and it's really really getting to me it sucks a lot :( I worry so much about that almost explicitly and someone not in my family hasn't questioned me about what I watch in years,

I was just thinking hey this would look sickening if I could riso print it somehow... but there IS actually a print place local to me that offers riso memberships so I could like. take their intro course and then sign up to use their studio whenever.....

ok. im genuinely ready to kill someone. you know when ur parent is like why dont you ever take initiative why do we have to tell you everything first EXCEPT literally growing up every time you did something of your own volition you Thought was right you would get chewed out because turns out it was wrong.

love my digital art class but god it is filling me with rage and hatred for adobe.

I started with posting about my autistic experience on twitter, reading posts on there, and interacting with people there.

then twitter got unbearable, so I moved back here and made a new account and side blogs to mirror twitter and lurk in the tags.

i've noticed a difference between autism twitter and autism tumblr from the big algorithm-controlled posts I usually see:

autism twitter makes me feel like i'm not allowed to say autism disables me or causes problems in life

while autism tumblr makes me feel like i'm not allowed to feel positively about being autistic and can only see it as a struggling disability.

the contrast makes me dizzy 😵‍💫 it's like no one wants to see the perspective of other people when we are all different. each side wants their narrative to be the told one.