#<- has made many vent posts here and actually not used the vent blog in months
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going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.
#guys i need therapy#not that itll work#it wont#the last one didnt#and the ones before didnt but my mom only let me do one or two session each for those so i dont fault them#its been years tho so maybe?#idfk#i dont really care#i do#i probably do im just tired#yall know what type of tired#ugh i should really keep my vent posts to my vent blog so people dont have to see them#<- has made many vent posts here and actually not used the vent blog in months#my foot just fell asleep#yall lukcy i dont have a gun#i lied about quiting my job btw#something came up and it got complicated#it might turn out good tho#probably not#but if it does i might be able to move out and room with my oldest friend#oldest as in time known#not age (im older by like four months hehe(and like a head shorter but we dont talk about that shh))#but that would also mean rent which means philly will take a lot longer#and also ill have to look for shops in a whole other city so im putting off quiting for another month or two or three maybe#i dont like change. i dont like genuinely regularly thinking 'id rather die' to things that i really do want#tw vent#thats probably important#i dont like decisions#did you guys know Animal Jam got shut down?#i miss my necklace. everything else seems so- not barbaric but maybe unclean. which i guess is appropriate
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I think this blog is blocked by fewer people that have heard the rumors and lies going around. I hope you'll read this. There are three sides to every story-- yours, theirs, and the truth.
I deserve to get my side out there so people can make informed decisions about who to follow or block, or whatever it is you need to do. It's okay not to support me, but do it for the right reasons.
I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm currently being accused of harassing a minor and sending random ass asks left, right and center.
Listen, if you got an ask where the person didn't say, "this is SAS," it's not from me. I HATE asks. On the rare occasion that I send them, I always tell people who I am. I am well aware that I'm a controversial figure. I want people to know who they're interacting with when I talk to them. I am old. It's important that I'm honest with the people I interact with. A lot of people really stepped up to support me, but I would like people to stop. Unfortunately, it's doing more harm than good.
With every one of these messages people send in support of me, the rumors get worse.
I want to defend myself, but I don't know how.
Send a vent to a vent blog that just actively lied about me? They won't post it. (They didn't, I just checked)
So I'll post it myself. You can make your own decision. All posts I've made on the topic are linked here (it's 5, compared to the DOZENS AEV has posted)
This will be my last post on the topic, and I hope that the people spreading these rumors will leave me alone. You've done more damage and harm to me than you know, and without any remorse or apology.
Ask sent to @anti-endo-haven :
I'm SAS and I'm so hurt.
I have not sent ANY anons to AEV, at all, at any point. I have not ASKED anyone to help me in this,
I made 5 posts. They have made about 50 at this point, all cruel.
The first was to AEV on their first post, which was NOT as rude as people say. I said, look webmd and mayo clinic isn't going to hold up to some of the articles that endos are throwing at us. Try some of these. I said, look, you're going to get really tired of hearing the same endo arguments. Here's some points you can throw back at them.
NOT TO MENTION THE MISINFORMATION IN THE POST. Dissociation is only trauma based? Incorrect. Maybe you should reconsider whether you're ready to be in these conversations.
That response was hidden.
The second post, I was correcting an endo that DID wasn't a trauma disorder. I tagged AEV and said, "see, you can be nice about corrections, and these are the kind of sources you should use."
I was blocked.
THIS IS WHEN I CHANGED LABELS. I was so disappointed in the community that I said fuck that, that's not what I want to be, I don't support this behavior. That's another person that AEV turned pro endo. Good job.
Then I saw the anon saying I was an endo. I used my other blog to POLITELY say, "This isn't true, please stop posting about me like this." This post is still on JAS, I didn't delete it like people are claiming
The fourth post was me making my own public post saying, "this child is throwing a tantrum over corrections. Now l'm pissed and I have to make my own public post so people don't believe those lies." This was the first rude post. I called AEV a blemish, and here's why.
I just made a MASSIVE post about dissociation that is actively being spread within the endo community now. All because I changed my label. I don't care if you all want to block me, but don't pretend that you're all doing anything to help by making bad resources for an audience that already believes the same stuff (all these new antis). Now all the new ones are spreading the same bad sources that don't hold up, and we all (yes, you, me, them, the next CDD system in line) look bad for it.
AEV couldn't provide a single source that said DID WAS trauma based, only "usually" trauma based. AEV actually made antis TURN PRO ENDO, because they used so many sources that said "usually". I offered him sources that said it WAS trauma based.
I'm not kidding, you can find the people that changed sides on sophieinwonderland's blog. This is what happened. I don't need to be polite as pie to people inadvertently harming the CDD community, but I certainly wasn't rude about it
My final post, the fifth post, on the subject was the sad one. "My main was leaked." There are people that stalk my blogs. They send me threats and long asks about the things they'd do to me if they found me. When sophie first came to tumblr, I'd get asks about what people wanted ghost to do to me. In the past, every time a new doxxer comes out of their gross hole, I start getting doxxing threats. l've had people get close to my area.
My main being released means those people are one step closer to actually finding me. It means I'm now getting these kinds of messages in my only safe space.
And the anon who sent my main admitted it was done maliciously. We had a falling out like two years ago, because their asks were getting creepy. When I APOLOGIZED TO THEM for ever hurting them because of my own avoidance issues, and told them that on this post, their response was, "well I enjoyed sending them so fuck you." If I ever find that post deleted, I've got a screenshot. You were NOT a minor at the time, you're an adult.
... Nice, really mature. You're definitely safe for minors.
Hey, also, minors, if an adult you just met online calls you "my kiddo", don't respond with an ovo face. Run.
Adults, if you call a minor your kiddo and they're like, owo really, I'm your kiddo? Fucking run.
Anyways.
I haven't said anything since. What can say. My main is out and I'm getting threats on it. Currently. Not "in the future," like the person said. It's happening NOW.
What do all you people want from me? I AM trying to leave you all alone. Stop saying such terrible things about me, godDAMN. I am not harassing minors. I don't want to harass anyone.
WHAT DID I ACTUALLY DO WRONG? I don't understand.
You're not the good guys you think you all are.
Not anymore.
I don't know that you ever were.
#syscourse#anti endo#anti endogenic#endos dni#<<< all for reach#sysmedsaresexist#adults being creepy to minors and it's not me
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Found a Hate Blog in The #Plural Tag. 😮💨
As I covered recently, "Plural" is an inclusive word with origins in endogenic and non-disordered systems.
If any anti-endo posts in the "#plural" tag or other inclusive tags, don't expect your DNIs to be respected.
They also are doing this knowingly. People have already tried to contact them about using the inclusive plural tag and the hate blog has stubbornly refused.
So if they're going to post in inclusive tags, I figured I might as well respond to some of their vent posts in anti-endo tags. As always, if anti-endos have a problem with this or feel boundaries are being unfairly crossed, please take it up with the hate blog I'm responding to that's invading our spaces.
Also, really weird how they just jump straight into saying "pro-endos" aren't systems either. Hate to break it to you, but there are a lot of traumagenic DID systems whose disorders and trauma are just valid as yours. And they manage to not be bigots too!
Wait... are they claiming that ALL dissociation can only be caused by trauma?
Although previous research has implicated a history of childhood trauma in the development of dissociative tendencies, insufficient cognizance (in this context) has been taken of the distinction between pathological and nonpathological dissociation. In this study, the relationship between childhood trauma and both pathological and nonpathological dissociation was investigated in a sample of 100 Australian adults. Pathological dissociation was positively predicted by dimensions of childhood trauma, but no such relationship was found for nonpathological dissociation (psychological absorption). The data are consistent with the traumagenic model of the dissociative disorders, but factors other than childhood trauma may also be pertinent.
Amazing how they compare us with anti-vaxxers while trying to claim all dissociation is traumagenic. This wasn't even hard to find. 🙄
"I don't care about any morals"
Well, at least you're up front about it.
Also, I tend to check the DID tags every now and then and you know what I don't see there? Endogenic systems!
"#Endo Safe" tags are more often than not used by pro-endo traumagenic systems.
Guess what! If you have DID, you get to post in the DID tags. Being a hateful bigot isn't a requirement! Anyone with DID has the right to post in the DID tags, and can tag their post as endo safe too!
Maybe you wouldn't get as many anons from endogenic systems if you stop posting in inclusive tags. Just a thought!
How are they harmful to the community again?
Weren't you just saying earlier that pro-endos were stealing resources? Now you're acknowledging that they're making resources for the community, but this is also bad?
LOL!
Genic labels literally only exist because of the pro-endo community. And the anti-endo community notoriously hates xeno-origins like NPD-genic. Yes, people will assume you're endo-safe when you use xeno-origins because these terms, like most resources in the plural community, were made by pro-endos.
Keep it up guys! It's working! We're spreading!
Sorry, I don't feel like rebutting anything here. I just appreciate seeing that our efforts are paying off!
The Future is Plural! 😁
Stop!
This talking point has been completely debunked.
System hopping was used by pro-endos 15 years before the earliest association with RAMCOA. The idea that it was a RAMCOA term is a total lie invented by anti-endos!
OSDD-1A and OSDD-1B are not actually official disorders. There is an OSDD. The first example, called OSDD-1 sometimes, gives two possible presentations. One with less distinct alters and amnesia, and another with no amnesia. But these aren't called OSDD-1a or OSDD-1b.
If your goal is education, this nuance is important.
Could it be because ASPEC people have dealt with a ton of exclusionism from some queer communities, and are more accepting of other people as a result? And perhaps they also recognize similarities between system exclusionists and queer exclusionists?
You're coming and posting in our tags!
That's why people keep interacting with you! "Plural" is a term coined by non-disordered systems, you've been told this, and you insist on posting in inclusive tags anyway!
You don't get to bust in someone's door, complain about them in their home, and then tell them not to interact with you! It doesn't work like that!
Funny how these are the only sources they can provide. And they exclusively deal with DID without even touching on other forms of plurality.
Anyway...
The ICD-11 says you can experience "multiple distinct personality states" without a dissociative disorder.
The creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said hypnosis and mediumship may involve self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality.
And Transgender Mental Health, written by Eric Yarbrough and published by the American Psychiatric Association (who publishes the DSM) says you can be plural without trauma or a disorder.
Sources repeatedly affirm that it's possible to be plural without trauma!
Anyone who claims it's impossible to be plural without trauma is either ignorant or lying.
And if you're going to keep spreading hate and misinformation, at least keep it out of inclusive tags!
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hi there chris! since the new year is approaching rapidly, i wanted to ask my favorite creators (that includes you! i love your art!) how they look back on their 2023 tumblr year and which blogs made them happy to be here. i am very happy to follow you and hope you'll have a great 2024! 💘
Hiiii omg this is so sweet and means a lot to me, thank you! 🥺💕
I've been meaning to do a little end-of-the-year shoutout/love post for some of my favorite blogs, so I hope you don't mind if I use your ask as the perfect excuse!
I've had many fun years on tumblr, but this one has been extra special. Falling into the Good Omens fandom and meeting all of you amazing people has made this year so so SO much better than it otherwise would have been, so here are some special shoutouts (apologies, I'm sure this will get long, things like this tend to get away from me, so I'll put it under a read-more)
@majortomyourcurcuitsdead SASHA can you believe I was going to just send you an anon telling you that I think you're cool and leave it at that. Can you believe it. WELL thank Somebody you had your anon turned off and I had to expose myself in your dms because it feels like we just instantly connected about like 20 different things and haven't stopped talking since sskjdfhs anyway I'm so happy I met you you're so fun and so clever and so talented and so enthusiastic and I've only known you for like. What 2 months?? Ish? But I already love you so much <3
@lineffability !!! Line you are so *struggles to find words* you're just great is what you are okay. I feel like you are what happens when somebody takes a big cup and puts six shots of love, chaos, sunshine, talent, fun, and enthusiasm into it, generously sprinkles intelligence on top and gives it a good stir. I don't even remember how or when or why we started talking tbh? But your creativity is so inspiring, and some of my favorite tumblr-moments of this year have been 'yes-and'ing with you about one thing or another in a very >:3 manner hahah so! my point is! i love you lots <3
@dontbotheraziraphale Teeeedddd you're wonderful, I vented at you one time and then we talked for like 2 hours and at the end of that 1 conversation I already considered you a friend - and not just in that "tumblr mutuals who talk 1 time are my friends" kind of way but like. Genuinely. You're so kind and so fun and every time we talk it's such a good time ily a lot my bro my buddy my man <3
@crikey01 Tallulah HI I also completely forgot how we started talking but I remember connecting the dots that you were the one who painted those INSANE black and white and gold oil paintings and the way my jaw dropped like?? BRO you're so talented I admire you so much! And I love that we bonded over stopping each other from masochistically checking certain peoples' blogs... 😂 Anyway you're so sweet and fun and ily lots <3
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The list could probably go on but you four are the people I've talked to most on here and you're the tumblr chat boxes I never close but always just minimize and y'all better see this as the ultimate internet declaration of affection that it Clearly is >:D 💕
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And here are some more shout-outs because I just HAVE to.
Apologies, I know I've already tagged a bunch of you recently in a mutuals appreciation post but. This is my official thank-you-for-2023 post and I just have a lot of love for you all okay sorry feel free to ignore this <3
@rowan-ashtree (i'll text you back soon I promise I'm sorry I just haven't had the brain-space recently ssjkdfh) @crawley-fell (we've never talked but i love you from afar :')) @ineffabildaddy @llokilaufeyson @actual-changeling @saryasy @hyperfocusthusly @beccibarnes @rainbowcrowley @thesherrinfordfacility @goodoldfashionednightingale @wibbly-wobbly-blog @highlyillogicalandroid (i see your data obsession and i agree <3) @tortugay @foolishlovers @stargazing-crowley @gingiekittycat @weasleywrinkles @bildads-shoes @finleycannotdraw @bowtiepastabitch @heytherefluffy @samwwise @nocturnal-birb @athousandyearstime @angelsdiningattheritz @most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer @jedthesecretdreamer @wraithee @hydrangeadangea @southfarthing @frodo-baggins @mobius-m-mobius
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People seem to forget that transmasc people can still dress feminine and vice versa. Men can wear wigs and dresses and women can cut their hair and grow beards. I think Charlie is transmasc and discovered this early so since he transitioned and looked like a male Bonnie dressed him femininely and he felt fine with it. some people are acting like men cant wear dresses and its annoying
It's definitely absolutely insanely accidental, but RCG really wrote Charlie as the most gender character of all time.
The Bathroom Problem is kinda the best example you can give anyone as to how you can have an infinite interpretation of gender: "cis man who poops transgender," I give you transman who can still enjoy wearing a dress in a certain environment, transfem whose closet is a bathroom stall, genderfluid in the place of bodilyfluids (okay, wait. WAS it definitely accidental?)
We're all on Tumblr, we all know anyone can look and dress any way and be any gender (or, if you don't understand that, I encourage you to explore and talk to trans mutuals!), which is why I think it's quite nonsensical to spend time arguing over a headcanon being dismissive of another. Charlie can be anything! Or nothing! (TY Charlie Day for my favourite line in Right to Chop "I don't really identify..." <3)
People aren't required to share the same interpretations or agree on what is a good or bad headcanon, and I think if you're getting upset by someone's own personal preferences or their interpretation for character analysis, you're just not supposed to be in the same circles of the fandom, and that's okay! You can share your own opinions, you can post your own content, but you can't keep people from personally disagreeing or expressing why they dislike a certain interpretation in their own, personal spaces online.
A lot of Sunny is pretty deep and also, very heavy. It's not surprising that people end up pulling a lot out of it, often projecting, and then find themselves very personally connected to their own interpretations and feel extremely validated when others agree with them, or feel upsettingly thrown when they see conflicting ideas. I feel all of that constantly, about many different aspects and characters, and a lot of the time I need to talk about it! I spent two years trying to do that on the SUBREDDIT and that's why I made this blog (and why my Twitter account is all but overrun by Sunny, lmfao). I think that's why most of us are here? And a lot of the time we're going to very heavily, crazily, completely agree with each other, but other times we're going to disagree as well.
Sometimes disagreement is something you can shrug off and move past (yeah, there are very clearly multiple interpretations), something you can just get over by venting more privately or one-on-one, but sometimes it's something you think is genuinely important to address/speak about, and I think that's actually how we can end up having very interesting and meaningful discussions and learn from each other.
(But if that's no good, just unfollow and block if you need to. Some people just don't get along or come from too-far distant places to agree on certain things, and that's a fact of life! This show has thousands of fans who think The D.E.N.N.I.S. System is actually a genius method, and a couple thousand more who think he is genuinely a killer ladies man)
#ask#wtf happened to this lmfao im sorry anon#idk i think i made some points#ive been in enough fandoms to learn that not everyone has to get along#and thats fine but just stop interacting with accounts or people you genuinely dislike lol#this is not twitter theres no good system in place for being a hater#(this is a joke about being able to private quote tweets on twitter)#youre just gonna make yourself miserable in the long run#find people with like minds make posts create stuff share things you love#thats how you enjoy yourself online#fandom shit#sunnyblr
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Twitter doc version (which is slightly longer and more detailed)
I reflected a bit. I kept insisting i would change and stop making mistakes. However, some individuals made me snap to the reality that I have not been doing it, and they were right.
I realized that I have been blurring this line of something for myself and something for my standing. I kept telling myself that there aren't any true stakes when this blog is made for me and my twitter is made for me. I'm no longer in the area where I can wholly express my emotions (well, i still could, but with a limit), and I would constantly create posts that exhibit that I'm emotionally vulnerable, which to many, including Wayne, finds wrong and upsetting.
I have not been understanding my true needs and have been essentially denying it. I have mangled my love of art and something between personal and something thousands of people can see. I have been undermining how far my signals can reach, believing that "this is my art blog, so i do whatever i want", that's true, but i never really understood its limits.
Some of you may find me gross after the revelation. I suppose it was the manner of opinions from that topic. While it's wrong to leak private information, especially when you're not up to date with said information, the very information itself is not a matter of technicalities- that would be something that is up to you on deciding who i am as a person from there forward. I'm sorry you had to discover it. Everyone has a bit of their strange side. And I'm starting to accept that not everyone is going to agree or support me on this. It was an uncomfortable change. I'm going to miss some people. But holding onto this baggage will not do anything for me. I must carry on. Yes. I did draw those things. So what? I know it was a mistake to draw that very specific part and I'm sorry for that; I learned of it long before the rumors started to appear and I have stopped doing it since. Do I have irrefutable proof? Of course not, unfortunately. But I am telling the truth here.
People can absolutely choose to decide their opinion of the idea of it, and if you decide to see me as a bad person for it, that's okay, but I never intended to harm anyone with it. Nobody was harmed. It was only exchanged between consenting adults and nothing more.
I never asked to be popular, but i subconsciously rode that wave. If Wayne is correct on one thing they said about me, it's that i let these conflicting emotions control me. For years i have been doing this because I grew up in bad environments where stuff like this was desensitized. I thought Wayne wanted me gone because they hated me. Well perhaps, some of it is true. Even back when we were friends, it was hard to read them, which made me walk eggshells. But nonetheless I do think Wayne did it out of care, but they did it in the worst way possible.
I didn't have the best reaction. I was too hasty because I panicked. I should have made a document that really details things that's been going on between us and the other things Wayne's done in SC (im doing that actually, one step at a time). For now though, I want to make this post for the purpose of saying that- yes, I haven't been innocent and I have been constantly hurting myself, in front of so many others nonetheless.
You would see me vent. You would see me make "pity parties". You would see my emotional vulnerability. Again, i thought with this blog and my twitter account, since it is my personal spaces, i thought it was fine. But of course it wasn't. I forgot that there are thousands of eyes, even minors who aspire from my work.
I haven't been good to myself. I made things worse and worse. I didn't know how to handle it despite dozens, if not, hundreds of people telling me. And now after realizing it, I wanted to take it to my own matters, for my own good and safety, and for the safety of others and people who worry for me and care about me. Despite all the damages, if I really want to make a change, I must really show it.
From this day on, I'll be making different blogs. One is a more personal, smaller blog where I can really express myself and would not use primary popular tags. One where i dump all of my negative emotions that are private and overlyvulnerable. And one blog- this one- where I can show my art to the world. It was stupid of me to not have thought of this solution before, but it's better late than never. I would only show these side blogs to my friends and the people who are genuine with me rather than those who idolize me only for my art. I should really make a clear boundary between the me on the fandom side of things, and the me on the myself side of things.
I plan to make my twitter inactive. I don't know why I've been insistent on keeping it up, but now i know and it's an ugly side of me i denied constantly: I kept it up for fame, because I equated fame to my self importance- which isn't good. You would see it evidently when I get upset about the numbers. It was easier for people to access my stuff. This amount of attention has become a detriment to my mental health but, back then, shutting it down would subconsciously mean that "the bad people won". Throughout growing up on the internet, I'd see these artists back away from their popular accounts. I didn't really understand why. I never did. But now I really know. A sacrifice has to be made, and it would be something that helps me most of all. Plus, twitter is too negative for me. I would really only use it to look at art and news, but all the other drama sticks and paparazzi and blegh- no man i think id rather sit here.
I *may* still occasionally post things there, but I'd primarily post on tumblr, where things are more relaxed.
So what did I want? Fame or comfort? My comfort was entangled in fame and it became an uncomfortable experience. What I desired to draw became also the desire from others. In truth, i definitely enjoy making rain world art. I love making my anthro au. The very reason why I made Rain world fanart in the first place was because I was sad and drawing the characters where they were happier and loved helped me cope. I anthromorphize the characters with this empathy. I believe this was the biggest reason why the anthro au was made. It was made because of the high empathy, which is why it was meaningful and closest to me- and I loved when other people understood and loved it too. My feelings were understood. I surrounded myself with friends and people and took great comfort when they shared this experience with me. And I was touched every time someone else showed their anthro au, with or without my influence. I never felt alone in these moments. I felt like I was seen. But i know not everyone is going to be my friend and not every output everyone makes is for my own likeness. There were those who wanted to be my friend for my fame and nothing more. And those who expressed that they didn't like my anthro au, i unfortunately took them as personal attacks. This is definitely not the case at all, and I'm sorry for invalidating any forms of critiques. This was an awful thing for me to do and everything got carried away in the end. I likened my au too much to the point its starting to become something that controls my judgement.
The matter of filtering what I post isn't censorship. It isn't invalidating my feelings and it isn't the matter of controlling out of fame. It is a matter of defending myself and in turn keeping others safe. The very reason why my insecurities kept getting enabled was because of me and not what other people do to me (well, it can be, but i admit I'm not completely clean from it). If people truly want to empathize with me, it should really only be my loved ones and me taking alone time like watching yt videos or taking walks.
As for the frequency of updates, people take issue with my lack of time and breaks. Admittedly, I have been having issues of time senseless for the past months and amnesia. A whole week can feel like a few days, a single day can feel like a whole week, two weeks can feel like a month. So on. These are side effects of my mental illness and I should work on it better. Like making alarms.
I thank everyone who has been very patient with me throughout my time in this fandom. I thank my followers who stuck by me despite everything. I thank my friends who cared for me and remained my friends throughout it all. I'm sorry I haven't been the best artist to those I have affected. I'm sorry I haven't been giving great examples. I'm sorry for being stuck up on believing that whatever I'm doing is correct and have been avoiding the criticism of it. And most of all, I'm sorry to everyone whose advice I ignored, even Wayne.
Overall, I'm taking one step at a time for these things. Block people liberally- that's something I've been avoiding because it felt mean, but I should utilize more. Of all of my ignorance, emotional breakdowns, the wrongs i did upon myself which then to others, I never meant any of it maliciously. There is no black and white here. Only gray morals. Wayne was a shitty person, but I was a shitty person too. I haven't been nice to myself, but starting now, I will be a little bit more selfish (in a way that helps me and doesn't hurt other people). How you evaluate me as a person is up to you. I'll welcome anyone who's nice to me in my specific spaces regardless.
But no matter what happens, I'll push forward. Because I love art and I love my friends, and I'll keep fighting for it and against the horrors that keep me from self-respect. I should focus on the things that make me happy.
Thank you, everyone. I truly mean it.
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i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.
i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.
i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.
i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.
i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.
shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.
this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.
i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!
goodbye for now,
rose (aka mariejordans)
#gen v#heronamedhawks#update this user is actually a racist transphobic piece of shit so please block them and do not give them any more of your attention
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General blog info
Since I said I would do this (actually I am just bored and no one knows wtf is going on in this blog) Imma make a masterpost with the general info of the blog and what's going on here. and also a little info about myself because ppl need more info abt me to send hate anons:
im a writer, obviously. im also a demiromantic apothisexual transmasc. i like baking, going out in the woods, writing (obviously), drawing and making art, playing instruments and singing, and im also a big fan of either napping half the day or staying up all night.
im not in very many fandoms but i like hollow knight, inmost, lethal company, terraria, bramble the mountain king, and ive recently gotten into heartstopper (in other words i began watching it with my more or less heartstopper-obsessed cousin, she is very sweet and yes i think the show is pretty cute too). other than that, im gonna watch more horror movies and series as that's what i write too.
(DNI is very small. do not interact with me if your intentions have anything to do with sex. thats it. i am SEVERELY sex-repulsed and will be triggered by anything that society has made sexual. its easier in text but for the fucking love of god do not send me pictures.)
now, onto the content:
Content:
writing snippets
aspec posting
stories and poems
a little bit of venting/storytime/complaining
talking to ma homies
a little bit of art
a series of writing snippets called "new/out of context quotes and quips"
probably something else i forgot
(also the reason i dont have a venting blog is bcuz hot topic i think ill keep everything in one place cuz im one person and i feel different things lmfao (yes i am also surprised by the fact that i have emotions apparently))
now a masterlist of my writing:
Novels and works-in-progress (AKA everything i write):
My main novel series, Broken Promises, currently contains ten novels:
Breached Containment
Twisted Betrayal
The Final Hunt
The Madman's Strive
Broken Strings (AKA Bring Us To Life)
Pinky Promise?
Too Late
Welcome To My Mind
BACKWARDS
I'm Sorry
and here's the main characters, main cast and the main side characters:
Ambrose Blackthorne
Ace Dawn
Caleb Whitlock
Dylan Hunter
Jason Godfrey
Juan Moreno
The Shadow Reaper (he has a name but its revealed in the seventh novel so im waiting with it)
Zafirah Satar
Kierce Cadell
Joseph Clayton
Blake Campbell
Steven Zhai
Ashley
Silly Sally
James Forest
Phoenix Loughty
Rahmah Abdullah Aziz
Rick Davis
Zane Hawklum
Gabriella Roseware
Alicia Wood
Rose Andersson
Eleanor Dawn
Michael Godfrey
(there are probably a lot more that are either family to the mcs or minor side characters, so im not including them here)
other than that, i have a few standalones that i work on every now and then:
Misplaced Faith
Inescapable Lucidity
Blades of Rose (with several co-authors, including @ang3lic-t3ars and @daredevil-arty)
We All Eventually Drown (with one co-author)
then, of course, i have a bunch of smaller projects, most of them related to my novel series:
The Solic AKA the new bible
Realms of Selinc - A Beastiary
A whole lot of music. just a doc named Music
The Anomalies, the start of a horror skit yt channel
PHOBIA, a video game that im not working on at the moment
I Was Born With A Gift - a prologue to the animation channel where I will animate my novel series on streams and such
All of the Darkrimm, Lumancyid included (hell and heaven lore)
A bunch of rituals. Do Not Question
Two D&D campaigns, one a homebrew and the other just. heaven and hell from BP (the novel series)
And since im extremely bored ill make an ask game so yall can ask me abt stuff (mostly the writing i gotta get more active in that)
have me tell you about one of my novels/works
ask about a character
ask about something you've seen in a snippet (specify)
wait actually you could just ask yourself from what youve seen and then ask extra info if youre curious about something
yeah acc just know my inbox is open for absolutely everything except stuff that goes against my DNI so u go ask stuff homies and thats it
well thats all i had to say so buhbyeee
#masterpost#pinned#blog info#writeblr info#writeblr#writers on tumblr#artists on tumblr#artblr#thoughts from the abyss
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Hey! I am most likely one of the China placekins you've heard before. I reached out on Reddit but I'm pretty sure r/otherkin restricts new users or something. I was so excited to finally know of someone who is both a country AND objectum for another country!!
Excuse some awkwardness here and there. I just wanna rant about being countrykin. It's so awesome to meet you CAR!
I am personally objectum for the USA (she/xe/purr/it) and I introduced my bf to that as well (we're both otherkin.) We wish you and The Gambia the absolute best! The post with the hearts you made with her is my fave.
I have some very strong thoughts on the controversy of being countrykin/placekin, especially since I believe my alterhumanity originates from trauma (not copinglink though) and being China gives me so much strength, physical and mental, and the power inherent of being a giant physical and conceptual entity is so freeing.
It's one thing to be connected specifically to countries/concepts specifically connected to one brutal regime/etc., but as an Asian guy with Chinese descent, it just feels gross and even racist to an extent. I am so much more than my government. I am the mountains that touch the sky, the rivers of life that color the soil yellow, the love and hearts of a billion people, the endurance of a long history, the strength of my flora and fauna. Same with being the CAR. There will always be issues within a place that exists in our physical reality. But we are more than the sum of our parts.
I am just so glad to have another countrykin here. It feels really isolating sometimes. Especially when my kin has affected my identity so much, including my chosen name down to my favorite colors and how I choose to curate my room.
So I am here to say... Please. PLEASE talk, discuss, ramble, vent, rant more about being the CAR. You are awesome. I connect with it so much.
Love from China 🇨🇳 ❤ 🇨🇫
Hey! So, as it turns out, I didn't meet 2 China placekins, and it's just a coincidence that we've found each other twice on the expanse of the internet! You're the only one lol. Also, I do remember you from reddit :3
I've actually talked to Gold before and he mentioned you. He and said that you might have talked to me in the past, so I'm glad we could meet again! I was super excited when I saw you in my notes :)
Thank you so much for the kind words towards me and The Gambia!! We're doing well and appreciate your wishes :) I wish the same for you and the USA and whatever other objects/things you and Tank are loving on ^^
I feel the same way about the whole placekin controversy thing and I couldn't have said it better myself. While man-made things are important to mankind, we are so much more than that. My identity is not human and has nothing to do with being human. I am a place who's human aspects are ran by humans, but that is only one part of me. There are many, many non-human aspects that make me...me. All of my life and non-life share me, a nonhuman entity.
I will continue to speak for myself and other placekin: that's why I made this blog! I couldn't find any other (active) placekin accounts that spoke out about us. Our community was in the shadows and pretty much unknown to the world, so someone had to be a voice for us. Not to from egotistical, but this blog brought placekin together, educated others on who we are, and even allowed others to discover that they were placekin themselves. I'm here to tell the world that we're here.
Happy to meet with you again, China.
Much love 🇨🇫 ❤ 🇨🇳 /p
#ask response#CARstuff🇨🇫#placekin#china placekin#🇨🇫❤🇨🇳/p#objectum#alterhuman#otherkin#placeum#chinakin#country objectum#conceptum#CAR placekin#therian community#otherkin community#alterhuman community
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Tumblr 101
This is an important read for anybody who is new to Tumblr and/or only likes instead of reblogs.
These icons are at the bottom right corner of every post you see.
On the left is the comment option, the speech bubble. Comments are a quick way to make your thoughts known on a post without reblogging it. Comments are good for chatting with someone after they answer your ask as an alternative to spamming their ask box. Commenting + liking is NOT an alternative to reblogging.
In the middle is the reblog option, the two arrows. This is the most important thing to know about using Tumblr. Reblogging is how Tumblr functions. When you reblog something (art, fic, meme, whatever), you display it on your own blog while keeping the connection to the original poster/creator. This is how creators get their works seen! If you like something, reblog it! I cannot stress this enough!
Reblogging is not to be confused with reposting. You will see artists say to not repost their art. This means that you are not allowed to copy-paste somebody else's art and make it into your own post. This is stealing, and it hurts artists. Reposting erases all connections to the real artist and makes it seem like you made it even though you didn't. If your repost gets reblogged by people who don't know better, all of the attention will go to you instead of the actual artist. Most people get very hostile when they discover somebody reposting art, so it's a good thing that I'm teaching you now!
While we're on the topic of supporting artists, let's take a minute to talk about commissions. Art is hard work, and therefore, art is usually not free. Most artists and writers have a Ko-fi or similar way of accepting tips and donations from people who like their work and want to support them. If you want something drawn/written for you, be respectful! Find somebody who has open commissions and ask them how much it will cost to buy their time and talent. Many artists and writers also open drawing/writing requests or prompts, which are free. However, free to request does not mean free to use. If you want to save and use somebody's art, you have to pay them for it unless they say otherwise.
Finally, on the right is the like option, the heart. Likes are the most misused feature on Tumblr. Here's a little secret: likes are useless here. Liking a post is not an alternative to reblogging. Tumblr has no algorithm, so the only thing that will support your favorite artists is you reblogging their work! Likes are little extras that you give along with a reblog, or drop on somebody's post to tell them that you see it. For example, I only use likes on my friends' text posts, such as answered asks or vents, or on something that I reblog as a reminder to myself that I've seen it before (and as extra love for the creator). When I admire some art or writing, I give them a like and a reblog.
An extra warning for people who have never reblogged anything but have hundreds of likes: you will likely be blocked on sight by a lot of people. Having so many likes but no reblogs means that you look like a bot and that you are actually messing up the system. Nobody will think that you're cringe for reblogging what you like! Now is the time to start interacting for real! Be free, have fun, and reblog to your heart's content!
How about the ask box? This can go by many names as customized by the user. This is a place for people to start a conversation, ask a question, or play an ask game. If somebody answers your ask and you want to keep talking, the polite thing to do is either comment or reblog it. Spamming somebody's inbox with individual sentences instead of keeping it in one post is time consuming and widely considered to be annoying.
Last but not least, your follower count. Here's another secret of Tumblr: nobody cares about your follower count! Nobody can see it except for you and it won't make you or your posts any more visible because there's no algorithm. If you want interaction, find some friends and cool artists and reblog their stuff. Very few accounts are considered to be "Tumblr famous" and frankly, you don't want that kind of attention here.
Please let me know if you have any questions! How you interact with this post is your first test so I can see that you are listening and learning! 💜
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Hi.
I can't reveal who i am but i used to be a ex moot of tee (@/saetoru) and i don’t care if this seems cowardly to make a page just to call her out. after seeing lots of people share their experiences with tee i’d like to also add and show some of the stuff she’s done to remind people she’s not as angelic as she makes herself out to be.
me and tee weren’t close as she was with her little clique (they know who they are) and other people but the main reason we aren’t moots anymore is because i broke the mutual. after seeing a callout post about her way back in oct. 2023 with other people’s stories in the thread of reblogs / link (i’m sure you guys saw)
i simply didn’t wanna be associated with someone like that. i was just confused why tee was acting like it wasn’t her fault. she said she doesn’t have to provide proof because she doesn’t owe anyone anything when that doesn’t make sense. because if you’re gonna accuse someone, always provide proof otherwise it’s safe to assume you’re lying.
this was Tee’s response back in october to her being called out by one of her old moots also, she deleted this a few days before she returned to make it seem like nothing happened but oh it did. i’m putting this here for people to see again (if you already haven’t) because just look at this.
this is what a narcissistic manipulator sounds like!
the biggest thing that made me scratch my head was for her to immediately bring up past drama to redirect the situation and make herself seem like the good person, and address the other party as a “white girl who blackfishes,” and she tried taking the attention off her to bring up palestine.
are you serious? if she so called “blackfished” why were you supporting/defending her in the first place? shouldn’t you be in the wrong too? the party she was talking about didn’t even blackfish, from what i can recall it was a simple tan so again, this was Tee reaching and blowing things way out of proportion.
she keeps mentioning some random bnha blog but never gives the @ so she’s probably lying. how are you gonna accuse someone of plagiarism then your only evidence is “oh me and my moots saw the whole thing, so you know i’m not lying.” girl bffr. and for her to even say something as childish and stupid as “she’s stolen ppl’s skin tones and she’s stolen their ideas. not much to left to take besides your identity at that!”
you and i both read that right? this is a supposed 20+ year old, saying something as kiddish as that. she even exposed the persons @ in the tags and why did she do that? so she can make her thousands of followers / anons spam their inbox with threats, derogatory names, and literally anything else. and she has the nerve to say she’s not enabling that kind of behavior with her audience. she’s abusing her following and it’s showing.
and for her to sit there and say it’s not her fault for being in her own space and name dropping people without actually name dropping them is just absurd. subposting is the lowest of the low. If you’re gonna talk shit at least put the url while you’re at it. people can tell who you’re talking about even if you’re being discrete.
She has a private blog called @/clorindes where she uses it to "vent" and bash writers and laugh it off with her moots and even followers.
i know of this particular blog because like many others, if you followed tee that blog (her private) would appear in ‘blogs like…’ or ‘recommended to follow.’ after tee got called out, she privated it but it’s still up.
(i recommend blocking that blog) because i’m sure she’ll activate it again once things settle. i hope that’s not the case because how many drama, discourse posts, call outs does it take for her to fully leave this platform? this is chronically online mentality at its finest.
it’s been an ongoing rumor that tee has this tumblr 'burn book' to blacklist writers on this platform and it’s proven to be true. some of tees even own mutuals are in there, and its just embarrassing. you have to constantly remind yourself this is a 20+ y/o person acting like this, out of all platforms, tumblr…
i remember a while back tee drove off a few blogs just for having the same theme concepts as her. (is that even a thing?) like tee used to have instagram themes i think, yet when she found other blogs having the same, she’d send her thousands of anons to harass that person, and be so butthurt over a theme.
not gonna lie, her themes are generically basic and doesn’t even look like it takes much effort. so what is there to copy. i’m not saying copying themes are good and okay, but she takes things too far. i can see if it’s writing, but a theme or a layout? i just find it so mind boggling people stick by her side and support her still.
from her old blog she’d always say sneaky comments like these and laugh it up with her mutuals in the comments. it’s really…something, because why do you care what those writers do? she reeks of jealousy and envy, literally look at her tone.
“we all know yall just want the notes and numbers.” um, yeah? everyone wants recognition on their work, it feels good to know your works being appreciated. and her jab at shading writers who write half paragraphs was so unnecessary. because again, why do you care? how are those writers hyping each other up seen as ‘shady’ or ‘fishy’ behavior? just say you’re jealous and go.
she acts like she doesn’t do the exact same thing with her cult of friends on tumblr, spamming the tags with wtv.
miss tee, flat out you’re a nobody.
you have no right to judge how someone write. who cares if you have 30k+ followers on this old ass site. congrats ….i guess? in the real world, you’re just a miserable person who likes torturing people online.
she has this thing of coming after upcoming big blogs, if i’m not mistaken, the most recent one was a known jjk writer, kazu _____ another was a popular multi account munson____, and there were multiple others i’m sure. her following count boosts her ego a lot, that i can see. and she thinks it’s okay to say whatever and not get held accountable. well now she is.
notice how she came back to tumblr after a two month hiatus, turned anons on then back off. and shes been inactive for a few days. she’s running away from the drama because she knows exactly it’s no one’s fault but hers.
if you look through the long thread i linked earlier, actually read through the reblogs. if multiple various ppl are coming out to share their experiences (with receipts) chances are you should be able to tell who’s lying! she needs to be stopped and ran off the app, not those blogs who didn’t do anything. tee’s been involved with drama for a long time like i said before, way back in her tokyo rev/hq era in her @/hanmas era. so about three to four years ago.
it’s been said tee and her mutuals send anons to harass other writers and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s true.
again, it’s a shame you have to remind yourself this is a grown woman in her twenties acting like this on tumblr. it’s sickening and she needs to grow up, and get the hell off this platform before she drives anyone else off.
thats all! thank you for reading
#saetoru#Hope she sees this too.#stop supporting her#her moots and followers who ignore her are JUST as bad as her#she’s been in drama since 2021 (her tokrev era)#get a grip this is tumblr dot com#She needs a reality check and it should have been her ran off the app instead of those innocent blogs#to people who lost their blogs to her I’m so sorry#I hope you all are at peace.
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trying to break out of my shell and post madcom hc shit aka Look At My One Of Many Weirdass Hank Ramblings, Boy
hank you know them. they're six-foot-something and wanted to try volleyball. they dont get sarcasm and refer to stuff as "thingys". they're the autistic power fantasy of throwing bricks at those who view you as subhuman. their bedroom's apparently just a mirror to practice cool poses with and a blanket and their favorite drink is eggs now according to the streams. and they are your new nonbinary president
im constantly fluctuating between Animation & MPN Are Two Different Timelines/Universes or They're The Same, But He’s Testing Which "Hank" Is More Favorable/Useful To Others
wasian hank truther baby. (jp+filipino-american)
this guy would probably use わたし/私 (ive seen a lot of artists use オレ/俺 for him though but i feel like its a bit?? much)
definitely had to pick up sign-language after [Vague Gesturing] All That
has autism in the way that they have No Clue they got it. like "damn i got [Specific Autistic Issues]. sucks that im so so normal and yet i must endure The Problems everyday"
speaking of autism, enjoys confined spaces sensory-wise. vents and boxes and shit like Come On Man. Do You See The Vision.
gonna be honest like half of the shit (Understatement) i got for hank is projection but what's madcom without that in some aspect!! that's the POINT man!!! [ON KNEES WAILING] that's the POINT
working in real estate and as a mercenary since The Incident made their self-worth go to SHIT; in a world that dehumanizes you, you are quick to dehumanize yourself. this is where the power of lesbian friendship comes in
subconsciously puts doc on a pedestal over time, leading to (See Bullet 1); this dissipates after they somehow reach a conversation of Bitch We Are Both Equals And Fighting For Our Fucking Lives Out Here THEY SOLVE SHIT TOGETHER MAN!!! THEY SOLVE IT
sorry. sorry. im trying to delete it
out of nowhere maybe its the Autistic Projection maybe its cause im allergic to Sadstuck Shit i dont dig negative stuff with 2bhank it just feels Wrong :-( i wish i could word this better but like. i need these little chesspiece fucks to learn to communicate
what i will refer to as the Newspaper Era (aka the time before we got doc characterization from arena mode) caused people to make some weirdass depictions of their relationship and im glad its phasing out. The Horrors
main 4 are all butch lesbians btw. not sorry about that one
also POLYCOMBAT TRUTHER this dude would HATE how vulnerable these three would make them feel at first. they're the first to actually treat him like A Guy and that fuck him up a bit initially
i think eventually they all reach a point where they're able to do stupid shit together like fireworks or breaking chairs over each other heads. you've seen how doc is don't exclude him from doing dumbass shit
"erm… actually they wouldnt be friends or have fun or date theyre ruthless criminals and madcom is cruel :/" L + ratio + the rule of The Funniest Thing Is The Answer in madcom prevails + That's The Devil Talking, Boy
shit at technology. if they had a blog their lack of skills would loop back around to make them the most powerful shitposter on earth
there's definitely more that im missing here and takes that Don't Suck (for example people need to put out more hankford content. Cmon Man) but my brain has this shit Queued Up in a way so. Yeah
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finding out the trans guy who made the mlm flag got (falsely) accused of being a rapist just because the flag looks kind like the lesbian flag (i mean the 7 and 5 stripe ones not the 6 stripe ones he also made) just makes me so depressed. I know if a cis guy made it that it wouldn't get half of the shit that it does.
seeing people repeatedly make jabs at trans men who like boys, calling us shit like "microseparatist gayboys" and tearing down anything that gets made by us or associated with us.... I love my other trans friends but sometimes i do wish there was a space where i could just be around other transmascs where I won't have to see us being falsely accused of rape for making some stripes in a row right next to people who say we don't face things like predator accusations...
I don't feel safe in my "community" anymore and it's breaking my heart. I was so excited to be out when I was 13 and now in my mid 20s I find myself wishing I was anything but what I am. Sometimes I want to look at these people and go "tell me where this alleged 'separatist' group is and I'll go there and stop 'tainting' your community with my transition". Even my love for other trans men is warped and demonized (because it couldn't be pure, it has to be somehow evil) or mocked as "pussy4pussy" (i'm meta4phallo)
Sorry for essentially venting in your inbox but reading those anons who are scared of being out in their own community and especially the anon who socially detransitioned because of "community" abuse/mistreatment. I'm so scared of that becoming my future and I really can't find any solution to it. I just want us all to be ok
Never apologize for venting in my inbox, or sending me a long ask about bad things. The more that transandrophobia can be documented, the less it can be ignored, and the worse its deniers will look. Thank you so much for sending me this, kind anon! (Under the cut there will be a short summary of a personal experience I had regarding sexual harassment, so if you don't want to see that, scroll past this post.)
Transandrophobia is rampant in gay communities, and homophobia + transandrophobia combined is horrible in the queer community at large. I've had multiple people lie about me, and while I've never been falsely accused of sexual harassment or assault, I have been accused of stalking and harassed over it, I've had people publicly speculate about my fetishes in front of me where I could see, with people defending the people doing that because the fetishes I "admitted" (fake screenshots) to "having" were "problematic."
Apparently that is okay to do now, because we're men and because we "chose" to be men that means we must be okay with being sexually harassed... (sarcasm)
Here's the thing. I've never heard the term "gayboy" used for a cis man, while it's used for trans men of all different ages, and while it's not inherently the most offensive term ever, its usage is infantilizing trans men and painting us as "gay man lite." We are not gay men lite, we are gay men. Them calling us separatists is really fucking weird because there are literally homosexual male separatists. They are called biphobic transphobic gay men and you can look them up here on Tumblr and find their blogs with hundreds of followers.
I wish I could crawl through the screen and punch those people who claim that false predator accusations are a transfem-only issue, because I've had it happen to me and so many other trans guys have had it happen to them too. Painting trans men as being predatory like a marginalized man stereotype and also a female invader into maleness at the same time is a very central piece of TEHM rhetoric and anyone who ignores that should be ashamed of themselves, because ignoring and erasing that such oppression exists is also a core piece of TEHM and also TERF rhetoric.
Every day I'm getting closer and closer to actually becoming a gay trans man separatist. Jesus fucking Christ. The rest of the world hates us and the rest of the queer community hates us too, and while I think that getting the queer community to unlearn their transphobia against us is important, I also think it is vital for us to have our own spaces to talk about our experiences without someone interrupting every 5 seconds saying "what about trans women?"
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I agree with you about the increasing hostility of some Wyll fans. I'm not saying that they are not right to feel bitter about Wyll's lack of content from fans and Larian, but some of them are just as toxic as the toxic Astarion fans.
Gale also receives a lot of hate from the wider BG3 fandom, but I was pretty much told that it doesn’t matter because he is like the 4th most popular character. And I had to block the wyllstarion tag due to the hostility of some members of the fandom towards Bloodweave.
I once saw someone say Bladeweave made more sense than Wyllstarion, and they got shut down as being racist. About Bladeweave.
I just don't engage with Wyll or Astarion content anymore, sadly.
i have said this so many times by now, but i’ll repeat it again: people have every right to be upset and criticize larian for their treatment of [insert any character here that isn’t a*tar*on]. no one is stopping you, no one is urging you towards inaction, neither is anyone claiming that racial biases don’t exist in this game. be as bitter as you want, have discussions about race in the d&d universe and how this also extends to wyll. dissect each snippet of wyll’s dialogue, write thorough analyses, and vent about it on your blog to your heart’s content. in that sense: it’s perfectly fine to address the continuous mistreatment other characters face at the same time. don’t be discouraged, this doesn’t take anything away from wyll.
it is about the means of achieving said goal (i.e. more/higher quality content for wyll) that is alienating a big part of the fandom in the process. deeming public pressure and demands directed at the devs an appropriate course of action in an attempt to get wyll the content he very much deserves. which, in the end, is doing more harm than good. it is putting more negative focus on the wyll fandom as a whole, which in turn sadly also affects how other fans engage with said character. the inevitable result being that fans choose to stay in their own small, curated fandom corners and are now even less likely to create new content with him than they were in the first place. this is truly unfortunate. tirelessly perpetuating the “it’s them vs. us” mentality (which i believe is also what you were referring to in your ask) only further discourages fandom from engaging in any sort of discussion around wyll that might actually be worthwhile. this includes discussions about racism, racial bias and stereotypes. basically anything that addresses wyll outside of his romance and his role as a narrative stepping-stone. these dialogs and exchanges are incredibly important, and contrary to what some might believe: not blindly agreeing to every point mentioned doesn’t automatically make you the problem.
i personally believe this whole approach to be effectively counterproductive. it is not “spreading the wyll love”, so to speak. for instance, i highly doubt that demanding a public note app apology from larian will result in them granting wyll’s story the resources & care it deserves. (note: i did notice that wyll’s petition has been edited and the wording/content has been largely adjusted after i made my og post. so several of those goals aren’t listed anymore as of now)
now, this is just my own personal estimate on the situation, mind you. so take it with a grain of salt: i don’t believe petitions like these will actually provide the desired results. there are petitions for almost every npc at this point (one for raphael’s romance included) that have a higher amount of signatures and still remain largely ignored by fandom and larian alike. which i think perfectly illustrates just how much fandom truly cares about these specific issues once direct action and organization are required.
sending larian continuous feedback containing constructive, direct criticism and specific examples with data to back it up is way more likely to get them to notice and actually bring about the changes you want, instead of making nebulous claims that contain half-truths which likely won't ever enter larian's peripheral vision. don’t stop sending in reports even if you don’t get a reply the first few dozen times. provide an overview, tell them what specific scenes and what lines of dialogue need to be changed. yes, i know this is tedious and tiring.
i personally can’t add much on the shipping discourse front. that’s a part of fandom i systematically avoid. i do hope that you’re curating your online experience to your tastes and don’t seek out discourse that actively distresses you. stay safe pls 💕
#alas. i wish it wasn’t so#but sadly will have to agree with anon on the toxicity levels reaching dangerous territories#asks#it speaks#racism mention
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i'm saying this as a trans man and someone who has watched this infighting that seems to be brewing for a long while so don't think i want to continue it further by dragging you in the mud of it all especially after seeing that you already get targeted by terfs
i for one don't even follow genderkoolaid and have a lot of bad takes but i know that their good ones do circulate in my circles for things like databases for trans man hate crimes and what have you
things that are invaluable to trans people to have as support in the community
the baggage behind a lot of these words that get thrown around like "transandrophobia" just leave a bad taste in my mouth and i feel like if they will have any validity in academia and social justice all the theory will get ironed out in the next few years and so i just don't see any use defending THE WORD let alone THE SLUR THAT MANY USE
but i think that it needs to be understood that the word """"transandrophobia"""" is not a organized school of thought with everyone attached to some discord group that has secret infighting targets and takes pot shots at trans women
all i ever see is people using the word, talking about WHY THE SLUR IS A SLUR, and wanting to talk about problems trans men face without always having to use the word "misandry" because it is deeply upsetting that in so many ways we are born women, we live as women, and will never escape womanhood
i feel like not being able to escape the things people perceive you as and the assumptions and fears (especially the fears people think are justified when they are very much not) are a universal trans experience and so it really hurts to just see people spot a basic word like "transandrophobia" being used in a post and deem an entire group of people bigots
i see trans mascs and intersex people do the same for "tme/tma" where they just totally avoid anyone who uses these terms
its tearing the community apart and making it harder to remember how much we have in common and bigots want us to be alone and defenseless like that...
sorry that this was long winded, i'm sure you've heard all of this before i just felt i needed to vent because its really not about the blog its about the general way people navigate in fighting
genderkoolaid is not someone i'm really willing to defend, let alone the other blogs that get tossed around that have been in heavy water so i hope i've made that clear here at the very least
hey i don't really follow what you're saying here. i'm not sure what slur the slur you're referring to is, and i'm very unclear what your point is abt transandrophobia. i'm also confused abt which intersex people u are referring to that don't like the terms tme/tma. i'm intersex and use those terms, and i've seen other intersex folks actually prefer those terms for discussions about transmisogyny because of how it shifts the focus away from very binary way that sex is talked about in the AGAB model.
this is, in general, confusing and makes me uncomfortable in ways i can't really articulate atm. i think chief among them is a kind of "but, what about me" vibe i'm getting from this at a time i am being more vocal than ever abt how transmisogyny affects me and other tma folks.
although i'm not sure what your stance on the term "transandrophobia" and the ideas behind it are, i can say that very much disapprove of it for reasons others have articulated so much better than i could. i think issues that uniquely affect trans masc folks are worth talking about, but i think the framing of conflating those issues with the way transmisogyny functions is just the wrong way to go about it. much like how "misandry" is not really a helpful way to talk abt the ways that cis men are affected by patriarchal systems, as those issues are not equivalent to the way misogyny functions. very telling that before the term "transandrophobia" was used, the same ideas were being described with the term "transmisandry"
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For a while now I’ve been trying to get my thoughts on the first four episodes of this season sorted out. I did actually enjoy the arc as a whole. I enjoyed getting to learn more about Carlos’s backstory and I actually enjoyed getting to know Iris better. I think so many of us assumed that Carlos had such a lonely childhood and so it’s nice to know that he had at least one person in his life that he was close to and be himself around.
I think for me the reason why I felt so stressed about it all was actually more down to the fandom reaction to the storyline. I’m not trying to blame anyone here or insult the fandom at all. I actually understand why a lot of people reacted the way they did. But there were things that stressed me out. I didn’t like how so many people just seemed so resistant to the concept of Carlos even having flaws. Carlos has always had flaws, it’s just that for some reason some people always ignored them in favor of lashing out at TK. And I think that right there is why a lot of people who care about TK felt frustrated. Since s1, TK’s worthiness has constantly been questioned and every mistake he has made has been held against him. In s3, ppl kept saying that Carlos should never have taken TK back at all and made him work for it. Mind you, these people completely overlooked the fact that Carlos had bought a house without even discussing it with TK. The thing is, the narrative and Carlos himself seemed to ignore that too. Even Rafa boiled the breakup down to “TK fucking up.” But with this, it feels like the writers didn’t even want to acknowledge that Carlos had even made a mistake. There is never a moment where it’s pointed out to Carlos that he was married for the entirety of his relationship to TK and didn’t tell him. Instead, it’s brushed of bc it wasn’t a real marriage. I think this frustrated a lot of people bc it felt like even when Carlos is unequivocally the one who made a mistake, it’s going ignored. I actually did defend Carlos as much as I possibly could during that arc bc I do understand why he married Iris in the first place and it does fit his character that he didn’t tell TK. I just wish that had been pointed out as wrong the way TK breaking up with Carlos instead of talking to him about the house was. Carlos got to vent his feelings back then yet TK never said a word about how he felt about Carlos keeping that secret and then he constantly blamed himself for Iris going missing and nobody stepped in to tell him it wasn’t his fault.
On the other hand, I didn’t like how people who were understanding of both sides were treated either. I know for a fact that there were people writing entire coda fics that validated TK’s feelings and yet they were being sent messages accusing them of not liking TK. I most certainly did not like how the writers and especially the actors were being left nasty comments to the point where an Instagram post had to be taken down. As much as I loved Ronen, Rafa and Lysney showing each other solidarity, it should never have come to that in the first place. I don’t know what type of comments they were or who they were coming from. I do know that there were people who were just mad that a woman had been brought into the dynamic at all. I know that there were people who just couldn’t stand the idea of Carlos having flaws. I know there were people who, after the first ep, were sending anyone who vented their feelings on their own blog lists of every mistake (both real and imagined) mistake that TK has ever made. I know there were people who went out of their way to blame TK anyway and people who tried to pin the blame on Iris even though she was literally in a state of psychosis for years and was living on the streets. At any rate, whoever it was that left comments on Rafa’s post or sent hate to any of the actors should be ashamed.
Ronen himself touched on this in a post ep 4 interview but it really does seem that ppl forget that TK deals with mental health issues as well and none of this situation was at all easy on him. There’s a reason why Iris likened herself to TK. From the vibe I got, the ppl that were actually hating on Iris for the stuff she said during the dinner didn’t even seem that concerned about TK himself. They just wanted an excuse to hate on Iris. I’ve said before that there is ableism in this fandom that has come into play with how TK is talked about and it definitely feels like it came into play with how Iris was talked about. I know it frustrated a lot of ppl seeing TK’s struggles in this arc being ignored by everyone and even Carlos seemingly blaming him for Iris going missing. Now, I do understand why Carlos reacted the way he did. He was deeply worried, probably blaming himself since this is something he and TK have in common and Iris’s life was in danger. And Carlos has always had a tendency to compartmentalize to the point that it becomes toxic. So I do understand his reaction but I can’t say that I didn’t find it upsetting. I also feel like it led a lot of ppl to be louder about how bad they felt for TK bc they felt that nobody else was going to do it. There were also ppl outright blaming TK and the fact that Ronen made it a point to defend why TK went to Iris shows that the actors do in fact see the stuff fans say. I just hope that after this ppl can recognize that it is possible to understand and sympathize with two characters at the same time and to do so doesn’t mean that you dislike one or the other. I actually do understand (even if I don't necessarily agree with it) the hypersensitivity that some ppl had over TK during this arc bc there’s no denying that there are ppl out there that look for excuses to hate on TK and downplay his feelings. Apparently enough for Ronen to notice. In my experience, ppl who love TK generally love Carlos as well but the same can not always be said the other way around. However, as I already said, this is no reason to go after the ppl who do love both and are just trying to be understanding of both sides. At the end of the day, as far as I can see the majority does love both and that should be what matters. I think there is also the matter of how the anger ppl felt at Carlos was ultimately temporary. Ppl were angry after 401 but they calmed down after 402 when we saw Tarlos being a united team and expressing love for each other. And of course there was the exquisite couch scene. The anger started up again with ep 2 and Carlos’s behavior. The anger at Carlos always felt like a knee-jerk response that I didn’t like but at least it was temporary in the end. For TK on the other hand, ppl have been looking for excuses to hate on him since s1. Going as far as him bringing Lou the lizard home as proof of how he’s not good enough for Carlos.
All of this is something that has really been bothering me especially since there’s people who seem mad that Carlos wasn’t in ep 5 and I truly don’t understand why. I understand wanting more screen time, I always want both guys to have more screen time but I enjoyed the focus on Marjan and I want more for her. Plus we had 4 episodes straight focusing on Carlos where we learned so much about him and a lot of fans even got there wish about seeing him be the one in danger and TK rescue him. That’s actually another thing btw, while I liked ep 4 itself, I didn’t like how ppl were rejoicing at Carlos being hurt bc it would make “TK be the one to worry and show his love in a more obvious way.” Anyway, I don’t understand why some ppl were so mad at Carlos not getting screen time in this ep. I also understand wanting to see acknowledgment of what happened but I feel like it’s ok bc there’s so many brilliant coda fics for that. We didn’t really get any aftermath in the Push arc either but I don’t remember ppl complaining about that. TK was barely in any of the episodes after Push until the end of 307 and he was barely in this ep either. There are about 10 regulars on the show and this is the first time Marjan has had a big storyline so why is it such a bad thing that the focus was temporarily moved a bit? I genuinely don’t understand.
Anyway, as I said before, I’m not trying to blame anyone or start anything. I just truly needed to get this off my chest so that I can sleep at night. As I said, I did enjoy the storyline overall. More than anything else, I’m just happy to move on from the angst and into the happy wedding-planning era. Personally, I don’t want anymore relationship-related drama. I know Rafa said that what happened in 404 would impact how Carlos dealt with things later on and I hope that means we see growth. I hope that means Carlos realizing that he has things he needs to work on the way TK did after Push. That’s all I want next for Tarlos and for Carlos
#911 on fox#911 lone star#911 lone star s4#tk strand#carlos reyes#tarlos#iris blake#ronen rubinstein#rafael silva
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