#the more the idea of actually writing short stories ft This Guy having to deal with deranged yakuza every day made me giggle more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starshapedkookie · 4 years

Text

Southpaw

pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)

genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au

includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing

premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys)

quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!

recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)

_____

The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.

“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.

“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.

The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.

“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.

“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”

“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”

You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”

“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”

“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”

He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.

Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him.

No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.

“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.

“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.

The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.

“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly

“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”

You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.

“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.

“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.

“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.

“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.

“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?

Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.

You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.” He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.

Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.

At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.

Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.

You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.

That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.

You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.

“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.

“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.

“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.

“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.

“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.

“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.

_____

The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.

“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.

“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.

“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.

“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.

He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”

“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.

Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?

Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.

Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.

“Hyung! Come on,” Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”

Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.

“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.

“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.

“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.

“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.

“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.

“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.

“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.

“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.

“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.

“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.

Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.

“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.

Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.

Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.

“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.

“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.

“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.

Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”

You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.

“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.

“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.

You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”

You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.

“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.

“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.

“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.

“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”

“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.

“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.

“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.

Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.

You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.

“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.

“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.

“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.

“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.

“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.

“Oh god,” you mutter.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.

“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.

“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.

“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.

“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.

“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.

“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.

“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“

“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.

“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.

“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.

You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”

“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.

The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.

“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.

“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.

“Uh, do you need any—“

“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.

Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.

“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.

Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.

“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.

“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”

Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.

“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.

“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.

“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.

“Okay, thanks again.”

You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat.

_____

The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.

You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.

“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.

Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.

You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.

“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”

“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.

“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.

“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.

“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.

“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.

“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.

The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.

You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.

You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along.

Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again.

“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.

“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.

“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.

He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.

“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?

“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.

“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.

“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.

“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.

“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.

“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.

“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.

“Hm,” you mumble.

“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.

Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”

He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.

“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.

He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.

“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”

Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.

“Sure,” you answer simply.

“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?

“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?

_____

On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.

You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.

“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”

“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”

“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”

“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.

“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”

“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.

[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?

“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.

“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.

“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.

“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”

“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.

“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.

Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I know right,” you say.

“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.

“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”

Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”

“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.

“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.

“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.

“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.

“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.

“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.

“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”

“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.

You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.

[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!

_____

Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.

“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.

“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room

“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he smiles.

“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

_____

“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.

“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.

“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.

It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.

“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.

“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.

“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.

“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.

Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.

“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.

You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.

“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.

Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.

You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.

“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?

“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.

“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.

“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.

“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.

“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.

“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.

“Most definitely not,” you say.

“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.

“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.

“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.

Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.

[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day

[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now

Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.

“Whose that?” He asks.

You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”

Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”

Your face drops and you don’t say anything.

“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.

About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.

“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.

Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.

You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”

Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”

Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.

“What are majoring in now?”

“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.

“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”

“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.

“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.

“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly.

Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh.

“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.

Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”

The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.

“Why not?” You press.

He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”

You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.

Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.

“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.

“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.

You don’t say anything so he continues.

“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.

“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.

Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.

You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“

“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”

He looks taken aback, “W-what?”

“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.

Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“

“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”

“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”

You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.

“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.

“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.

“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.

“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“

“You don’t treat me like it—“

“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.

Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”

You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.

“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”

“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.

“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.

You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you.

“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.

“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“

“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”

What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.

“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.

“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.

“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.

“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”

You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.

“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.

“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.

He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“

“Whoa, what?”

“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”

“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.

“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”

“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.

“…Okay?” You say slowly.

“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.

“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”

“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.

“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”

“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.

“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.

“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.

“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”

“What no—“

“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.

“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.

“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.

“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.

“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.

“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.

“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.

“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.

“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.

“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”

“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?

“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”

“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.

“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.

“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.

His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.

“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”

Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.

_____

“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”

You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.

“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.

“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.

“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.

“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.

“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.

You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.

“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.

She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.

“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.

“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”

You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”

“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”

You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.

“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.

You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.

You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.

_____

It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?

“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“

“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”

You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.

“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.

“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“

“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic. “Jungkook what—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.

“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.

“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.

“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”

“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.

The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.

“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”

“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.

“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.

“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.

You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”

“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”

He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.

“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”

“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.

“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”

You give him a nod, “See you soon.”

_____

Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.

“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.

“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.

“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”

Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.

“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”

“Right… thanks Mark.”

“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”

_____

Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.

Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.

“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.

“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.

“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.

“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.

Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.

“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.

“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.

_____

Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.

“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.

“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.

The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.

“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”

You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.

“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.

“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.

“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.

“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”

“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.

“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.

“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”

“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.

The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.

[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight

[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu

Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.

[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check

You laugh at your phone.

[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol

“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”

You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.

Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?

Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.

“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.

“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.

“Jennie here?” He asks.

“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”

“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“

“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!

The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.

“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”

“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.

“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.

The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?

“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.

“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.

“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”

Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?

To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.

The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.

“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.

“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.

“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.

Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.

“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“

“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”

Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.

“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.

“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.

“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“

“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”

You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”

He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.

You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.

“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“

“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.

“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”

“W-why? Who would want—“

“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”

The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?

“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”

“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.

“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”

“Okay? And?”

“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.

“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.

“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”

You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.

“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.

“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.

You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”

You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.

You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.

“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.

“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”

“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.

You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.

“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.

You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.

Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“

“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Um,” he speaks first, “We should go back inside,” he says.

You nod, “Yeah, we should.”

You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.

“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“

“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.

“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.

“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.

“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“

“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.

“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.

“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.

Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.

“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.

“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up.

“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.

As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

_____

It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.

Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?

You had no idea.

It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.

“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”

Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”

You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”

“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”

You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.

If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.

The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.

He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?

“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!”

Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight.

“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him.

“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.

“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook.

“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.

“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”

Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”

You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.

“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all.

“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.

You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”

You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.

Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.

“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.

“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend.

“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.

“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”

Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.

“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”

You smile to him, “You too.”

Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.

“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.

“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.

“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.

“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.

“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.

You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”

He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.

“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.

“What? No Y/N—“

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.

“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.

“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”

He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.

Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?

“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”

He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.

“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”

You sure hoped he was right.

_____

Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.

“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.

“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.

“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”

You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.

Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.

“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”

You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.

“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.

“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—

You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?

“You okay?” He asks with concern.

You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.

“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”

You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.

“Y/N.”

You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.

“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.

“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.

“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.

“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.

You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”

“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.

“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”

“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.

“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.

“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.

You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.

“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.

“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.

“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“

“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“

“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”

You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.

You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.

_____

Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?

Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.

“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.

“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.

“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.

“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.

“Coming right up.”

It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.

“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.

The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”

“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.

“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”

You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.

“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”

You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.

“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.

“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.

“He mentioned it.”

“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.

“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”

“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”

“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.

You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”

“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.

“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”

Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”

You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”

Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.

“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.

He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.

Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”

Did Jungkook really talk about you?

“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.

“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”

“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.

“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”

You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.

“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.

“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.

Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?

“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.

“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”

“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”

You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.

“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”

You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.

_____

You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.

It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.

[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready

You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.

[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8

[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?

[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?

[You 4:02 PM] Nope

You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.

You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.

You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.

Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.

_____

Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.

“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.

“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”

You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”

Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”

“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“

“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.

“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.

“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“

“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”

You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.

“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”

You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.

“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”

You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.

“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”

You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.

“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”

“You got it,” Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.

“What?” You get nervous by his tone.

“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”

“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.

“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.

“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.

You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.

“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—

“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.

“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.

“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.

“I’ll get some seats.”

Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?

“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“

“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.

“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“

“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.

“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”

You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously.

A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.

As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,

You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.

“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.

“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”

You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.

“Hey, everything good?” He asks.

You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods.

Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.

“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”

“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”

Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.

“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”

Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.

Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.

“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”

Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.

“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.

“Alright… ready… fight!”

Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.

“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.

This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.

Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.

“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.

Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.

“Fuck! Taehyung—“

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.

The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.

“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.

He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.

“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.

“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”

Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”

The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.

Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.

The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.

“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.

“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”

Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.

“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.

“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”

Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.

“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”

“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.

Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.

The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.

“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.

“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.

“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.

Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.

“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin. Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.

“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.

“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.

“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”

Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.

“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Jungkook c’mon!”

“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”

Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.

“You ready to go home?” He asks.

“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.

“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.

“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.

“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.

Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.

_____

“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.

“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”

You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.

“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”

“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.

“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that.

He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch.

“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”

It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—

“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”

Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.

“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.

He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”

“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.

He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”

A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.

You’re quick to shake your head, “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.

You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”

_____

Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.

“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.

You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.

You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.

The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.

“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.

“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.

“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.

“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.

“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.

“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.

You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.

You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.

“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.

“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.

“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.

“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.

“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.

“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.

You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.

“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.

He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.

“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.

Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.

“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.

You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.

“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”

“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him.

He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious.

You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.

“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.

“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.

“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.

“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.

As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.

You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.

“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.

“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.

“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.

When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.

“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.

“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.

“Come on,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.

You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.

Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.

“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.

“Hungry much?”

“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“Why not?”

“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.

He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”

You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.

“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.

“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”

He smirks, “Obviously.”

“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”

He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”

“Waffles are superior,” you remark.

He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”

_____

Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.

As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—

“Jennie?”

“Taehyung?”

The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!

“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.

“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.

Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”

You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.

“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.

“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.

You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.

The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be.

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timothyjimothy74 · 4 years

Text

Great - Quinn Hughes ft. Brady Tkachuk and Matthew Tkachuk

A/N: I recently fell in love with Quinn Hughes and had to write for him, but I couldn’t leave my favorite boys out.

Summary: Y/N has been best friends with the Tkachuks for as long as she can remember. When Quinn Hughes surprises Brady in St. Louis, old feelings come tp the surface.

Word count: ~2.2k

It was going to be a typical offseason Saturday night spent watching movies and hanging out with her best friends Brady, Matthew, Taryn and Brady’s girlfriend Emma. At least that’s what Y/N thought.

They’d all been back in St. Louis for a few weeks now and Y/N had spent as many days as she could at the Tkachuk house. She was glad to be back for the summer and even happier to finally have another girl around. With her, Taryn and Emma, they finally outnumbered the boys, at least while her brother was away taking summer classes.

Y/N grew up with the Tkachuks. Her twin brother Alex used to play hockey with Brady and she and Taryn would always play games together in the stands during their games. Brady would come out to the stands after his game to watch his older brother Matthew play. But he always wound up playing with Y/N and Taryn more than watching Matthew. Alex would come out and play with them too.

It didn’t take long for Brady and Taryn to beg their parents to hang out with Y/N and Alex outside of the rink. Soon enough, the families were inseparable. Even though Matthew was older than all of the other kids, even he had fun hanging out and making fun of them constantly.

Even when the boys’ hockey careers took off and Y/N and Alex went away to college, they all remained close. They’d been best friends since those early mornings in the rink and they always would be even though Y/N really wanted to kill Brady and Matthew right now.

She showed up to the Tkachuk house and saw a bunch of cars parked outside it and music blasting. Y/N would usually never turn down a party, but this time, she wasn’t dressed for one because they hadn’t told her they were having one.

She sent a quick, “SOS” text to Taryn and hoped she was here and that she could help with her current leggings and hoodie situation.

Sure enough, Taryn was at her car in a few minutes.

“Hey, Y/N! What’s the matter?” Taryn asked.

“I thought we were having a movie night tonight?” Y/N asked.

Taryn laughed. “The boys are such idiots. They didn’t tell you they were throwing a party for Quinn?”

“Quinn Hughes? Brady’s old teammate?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah. He surprised them by coming into town today so the boys threw him a party. I think they just used any excuse they could find to throw a party, but I’m not going to complain. Did they seriously not tell you?” Taryn was confused Y/N didn’t already know all this.

“No, I guess they didn’t want me to come. Maybe I should just head home,” Y/N said, looking down at her feet.

“Hey, Y/N/N, that’s not true. They’re just idiots. Here’s idiot Number 2. Ask him yourself,” she said as Brady ran up to her car.

“Y/N! What are you doing? Come inside and party with us!” Brady shouted with a drink in his hand.

“I’m not dressed for a party because you failed to tell me about it,” Y/N said as she scrunched up her face at him.

“What are you talking about? Matthew said he would text you and tell you about the change of plans!” Brady yelled again.

“Trusting Matthew to remember to do anything was your first mistake, you idiot,” Taryn said as she slapped the back of his head.

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N. Please come inside and hang out with us. I want you to meet Quinn!” Brady shouted again.

“Okay, first of all, please stop shouting. You’re murdering my eardrum. Second, I met Quinn at your draft. Third, what part of I am dressed like a hobo do you not understand?!” Y/N said as she purposely hit her head on the steering wheel.

“You talked to him for like two seconds. I need my best friends to be best friends! I think you look fine, but have Taryn get you something to wear if it’s such a big deal!” Brady shouted again.

Y/N looked at Taryn helplessly. “Wow, the dumbass actually had a good idea for once,” she laughed as Brady sighed dramatically. “Come on, I’ll sneak you to my room and we can get you something to wear.”

“See you guys soon! I’ll tell Quinny you’re here, Y/N!” Brady yelled again.

“Great,” Y/N mumbled under her breath.

Taryn chuckled but didn’t say anything as they snuck around to the deserted side of the house, went up the stairs and found Taryn’s room. Y/N dramatically flopped onto Taryn’s bed face first.

Taryn laughed. “What’s the deal with you and Hughes? Don’t think I didn’t hear that comment you made earlier.”

Y/N flipped to her side so she was facing Taryn. “I used to have a crush on him…” Y/N whispered.

“What?? When? I thought you guys only met at the draft.” Taryn squealed excitedly, flopping on the bed next to her.

“We did, but when he and Brady lived together, Brady would facetime me after their games and tell me how they went but he would always fall asleep. When he fell asleep, Quinn would take the phone and we would talk,” Y/N exclaimed.

Taryn’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head. “What would you talk about?”

“Lots of stuff. Hockey mostly. But I would tell him embarrassing stories about Brady as a kid. We talked about our dreams for the future and random stuff,” Y/N said. “I could never go visit then because I was so busy with school and work so we didn’t meet until the draft. It’s so weird. We never exchanged numbers or anything, we only talked over Facetime on Brady’s phone, but I liked him so much. And I couldn’t even find the courage to tell Brady because I thought he would be mad.”

“We have to find you a bomb outfit to impress him then,” Taryn smiled knowingly at Y/N as she got up and looked through her closet.

“We haven’t talked in years. And he was so busy at the draft that I only got a few seconds with him. He probably doesn’t even remember me,” Y/N sighed.

Taryn reached over and grabbed a pillow and hit Y/N in the head with it. “Don’t be as big of an idiot as my brothers. He definitely remembers you and you’re going to impress him in this,” Taryn said as she pulled out a blue body suit, black mini skirt and air force one’s from her closet. “Now hurry up and change so I can see how it looks.”

Y/N did as she was told. Luckily for her, she was short for her age so Taryn’s clothes still fit her. Once she was dressed, she silently thanked herself for putting on makeup today, took her hair down from its bun and stared at herself. Her hair was perfectly wavy and she looked good.

Taryn whistled. “Alright, now let’s go downstairs, lover girl.”

As Taryn led the way downstairs, Y/N found herself growing more and more nervous. She’d kept up with Quinn’s hockey career through the years so she knew he had matured since the last time she’d seen him, but what if he looked different than how she remembered him? Yeah, she was going to need a drink if she was going to see Quinn.

As soon as they arrived downstairs, Y/N made a beeline for the kitchen without even looking at anyone.

“Well well well, look who’s finally here.” Matthew chuckled. “Drink?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Yes please. It’s your fault I’m late. You didn’t tell me you guys were having a party.”

Matthew stopped pouring her drink and looked at her. “Brady said he was going to tell you.”

“Well, he didn’t and he just told me you said you were going to tell me,” Y/N sighed. “I’ll take that drink anytime.”

Matthew handed Y/N a drink. “I swear he said he was going to tell you. I should’ve double checked, though. I’m sorry. Forgive me?” he asked as he pouted at her.

“I guess. Thanks for the drink,” Y/N smiled as she turned to go find Taryn and Emma.

Emma spotted her from across the room, waived her over and hugged her. “Hey, Y/N! Taryn told me what happened. Sorry about the boys.”

Y/N looked back and forth between Emma and Taryn. “Do you guys know something you’re not telling me? Because Brady told me Matthew was going to tell me about the party, but Matthew just told me Brady said he was going to tell me. They’re acting weird.”

Before either girl could respond, Y/N heard a familiar voice behind her. “Who’s acting weird?”

Y/N turned around to see a more grown up version of the kid she used to share her dreams of the future with. He was smiling at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. Y/N turned quickly around to send Emma and Taryn looks of panic, but they had disappeared. She was all by herself on this one. Great.

Y/N turned back to Quinn. “Brady and Matthew as usual. Long time no see, Hughes.”

“Too long if you ask me. You look great, Y/N,” Quinn said. He smiled as he looked her up and down. Was he checking her out?

Y/N looked him up and down quickly. “You look great too,” she smiled back at him.

“You wanna get some air? It’s a little stuffy in here?” Quinn looked at her hopefully.

Y/N nodded and led him out to the front porch swing.

They sat down facing each other and let a comfortable silence fill the air, but Y/N couldn’t help herself.

“It’s weird isn’t it? Actually being around each other and not talking over Facetime?” she asked.

“Weird, but nice,” Quinn replied.

“Definitely nice,” Y/N agreed. She was glad they were sitting in the dark otherwise she’s sure he would have been able to see her blush. “I remember us talking about all of our hopes and dreams for the future and all you could talk about was how you wanted to make the NHL so badly. You really made your dream come true. I’m proud of you.”

Quinn laughed. “Thanks, Y/N. There was one dream of mine I didn’t tell you about, though.”

“You were holding out on me? What was your other dream?” Y/N asked.

“I always dreamed of being with you. I know we only met briefly, but I really felt like I knew you through those FaceTime calls. I had a huge crush on you,” he admitted.

It was Y/N’s turn to laugh. Before she could even reply, Quinn was talking again. “You’re so mean, I can’t believe you’re laughing at me. I just poured my heart out to you.”

Y/N reached over and put her hand on his leg to try to get him to calm down. “Quit being dramatic. I was actually laughing at myself because I had a huge crush on you too and I was convinced you didn’t even remember me.”

“How could I not remember you? You’re the only girl I’ve ever told all my dreams to,” Quinn said. He placed his hand on top of her hand.

“Well in my defense, I didn’t know that until just now. Let’s keep up the tradition, though. What are your dreams right now?” Y/N asked.

“That’s easy. You. To get to know you again, to be with you, to share a life with you,” Quinn spoke so softly he was almost whispering. “Your turn,” he said smiling at her.

Between the alcohol and the way he was looking at Y/N, her cheeks were on fire. “Well, my number one dream is to get to kiss the Stanley Cup one day, but you’re a really close second,” Y/N laughed and Quinn joined her. “But seriously, I really do want all of that with you too.”

“Well, when I win the Stanley Cup, I promise you can kiss it. In the meantime, kissing me will have to do,” Quinn joked.

“Wait, you know you’re the real prize, not the Stanley Cup, right? Because that was mostly a joke, I-“

But Quinn leaned in and kissed her before she could finish her rambling. They got so lost in each other that they didn’t notice right away when Brady came running out of the house and started shouting again.

“Y/N! Now are you happy I didn’t tell you about the party? When Quinn told me about your little Facetime dates, I thought you would be too nervous to come if I told you he was here so I left that out!” Brady shouted and grinned at Y/N, clearly proud of himself.

Y/N turned back to Quinn. “You wanted to be with me so badly that you asked for this weirdo’s help?”

They both laughed, while Brady put his hands on his hips and threw his hands up in the air. “Great, just what I need! You two to team up and make fun of me!”

Y/N and Quinn looked at each other and smiled. “Great!” they said together.

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tokusashi · 5 years

Text

For real

invincibleHello guys, please her me out.

(My english is kinda bad but I’m trying my best. Also I DON’T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE, if some words were poorly used then I’m sorry. But please, let me know)

Lately, reading posts about bnha spoilers, I’ve noticed that people are making a little mistake. I’m talking about blaming OP as the main source of the anime/manga falldown. At least- shounen m/a.

Well, let me say this- not really.

As examples, I’ll use three titles, “Fairy Tail”, “Bleach” and “Naruto”.

So, let’s start with the first one, shall we?

(about the Boku no hero Academia I’ll write at the end)

1. FAIRY TAIL - Hiro Mashima, creator of the FT had once said, that he’s not good with creating a big plots. And we could see that. When stories were short, it was funny, clever even and nice to read and watch. But when the whole Zeref problem was on the picture and whole DRAMA? Wellll...

Biggest problems of FT were:

a) many, many characters that meant nothing

- Fairy Tail is an title with so many characters, that people can’t remember half of their names, but not only because of their number, but because of their lack of existence. Yeah, sure, they are there, but they don’t do ANYTHING important, mainly just waiting for the main hero (or his crew) to rescue them.

They’re just there for to be there and this is really not good. You know that Lisanna won’t do a thing, she’s just there for being pretty. You know that Evergreen won’t be a hero of the day, because there will be bigger shark, like Laxus or Natsu, to bite the enemy.

Even Levy was supposed to be the intelligent one, but in the end she was just a plot device as a damsel in distress and Gajeel’s lover.

b) main character without character development

- Natsu. Just... Natsu. He haven’t changed ALMOST at all. (I’m not saying completly). Through the whole series, he always was just a loud idiot who liked to fight with strong oponnents and with those who have hurted his friends. I mean, it had it’s charm, but it was leading to nowhere. A breakthrough moment for him was the one, when Gildarts taught him, that he won’t always win. But we never ever see it again. Yeah, was this one time when he decided to leave Sebertooth members alone to be sure that Happy’s ok, but it wasn’t situation about win or lose. Natsu, all alone, was interesting with his problem about dragon and demon seed in him buuut... It get only worse.

c) almost lack of any training of the characters, they were always stronger because plot demanded it

- Like when they were with Spirits in Spirit world, and then learned that “Oh sh*t, we lost our all time for training”, and there was DEUS EX MACHINA, Ultear with “Sure, I can make it up guys”. And BAM! Done! Now we have super powered fairy tail members!

And it was just ugh. Like, no training arc or anything. Yeah, sure, when they were fightiung they were learning and “gaining lvl”, but not drastically.

And then we had power up “because”.

And then time-skip to explain why everyone are super powerfull right now.

And that’s kinda meh.

d) every villain who had tits was on list “to forgive everything what she had done”

- Do I have to even explain it? Like Minerva. the biggest sadistic jerk of the females in Fairy Tail, who tortured Lucy, had FUN with it and so on. Buuuut why won’t we turn her into and lovely sheep and adopt her, because of her bewbs.

And sad story written on an knee.

e) lack of consequences around choices that main heores have made

- Again, Natsu. People were kinda worried, what’s gonna happen to him! Will he turn into a dragon?! Or a demon?! Or a mix of both?! And what have killed it all?

Igneel: Are you dragon or demon

Natsu: I’m human

WELL DONE, END OF THE PLOT.

Also Zeref had literally fu*ked a kid. Like, the body of Mavis was the one of a little girl. BUT WHO CARES.

Also, many many times characters did something, but it had no meaning whatsoever. Even the big plots, and that’s really nono.

d) Erza as a very bad written OP character

- Erza is an perfect exaple of op character, that is terribly bad written. Like, she’ll always win. She’ll be always the strongest, she’ll have armor for EVERYTHING, she’ll do the thing. I’m surprised that she had no fight with zeref 1v1, she could end the whole series a lot sooner.

Like, seriously, there’s no other character like Erza. She’s just there to win, that her whole plot. And it wasn’t suddenly. She was OP since the beginning till the last fight, and it wasn’t interesting at all. Hiro Mashima had no knowledge about “how to handle an op character”.

SUMMARY:

It wasn’t OP that destroyed Fairy Tail. Those were character, that Mashima-sensei didn’t know how to use, plot devices he had used poorly and lack of consequences and feeling of the real danger. Sure, Erza as OP was also a problem, but not the main source.

SO, NEXT’S BLEACH:

a) Tite Kubo had continued the series after Karakura Arc.

- It was really good! The end with Ichigo who had lost his powers? Great!�� Final Getsuga Tenshou! Zangetsu and Hollow Ichigo merged! Very nice!

And then... yeah. Continuation. We’ve seen that Kubo-sensei had no heart to this anymore. Next Arc after another was worse and worse.

b) potential of whole Gotei destroyed

- To be honest, whole Gotei was not even as half interesting as Hollows.

Even worse, we had seen whole Gotei from the very bad view for more than a half of the series. Also captains (after KArakura arc) had almost no real meaning. They were just meh.

c) getting tangled up in his[Kubo-sensei] own mistakes

- Like making a hybrid of shinigami-hollow-quincy-human main character, just because shinigami with hollow powers was not enough for the audience.

Or creating a third crowd with bows in white out of nowhere, just for the plot.

Or making Ishida the Sasuke of this series with even more drama than before.

Or creating fullbring just to throw the arc away.

Or just Yhwach. Kubo made him so powerfull, that he had the same problem as Masashi Kishimoto. Had no idea how to kill it. Also, the whole Zangetsu-Yhwach thing was kinda out of... yeah. Just, there were a lot of things that had no sense or were just simply stupid, and that hurts.

d) problems of Tite Kubo

- As I’ve said before. Tite Kubo had his own problems with Shounen Jump. It became the source of the flaws that Kubo-sensei had made, and we all know it.

SUMMARY:

Actually all of the main flaws are coming from continuation, because really- If Tite Kubo could end the series after Ichigo had lost his powers, then it would be a really great shounen! Buuuut we can see how it went. The biggest problem here was not an OP, the biggest problem was the fact, that Kubo-sensei had the toys, but had no fun with plaing with them, and it’s clearly visible. He drew because he drew, because people had pulled him by the ears

AND THE THIRD ONE, NARUTO:

a) no meaning of side characters

- DON’T BITE ME, I’m not sayin “completly”! there are those like Might Guy, but when we’ll look at Kiba, Temari, Kankuro, Ino and many, many others. They were not as bad written as the ones from Fairy Tail, but also not perfect. They had almost no effect on the “final bosses”, and were out of league, when we look at the golden trio- Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto, who were almost like a gods at the end in comparison to the others.

b) ninjutsu was forgotten

- At first it was amazing. Techniques! Elements! Limited chakra! Kunais were deadly, and bombs and everything that ninja used.

And then they just forgot about all of it, and Made Dragon Naruto Ball Z. There were big effective blasts, and power flowing out of characters, giant beasts who made every shinobi not important [at all] and so on. I’m really glad that Naruto had won with the final boss because of the sexy no jutsu, becase, AT LEAST, it was a jutsu.

c) Madara Uchiha and what to do with it

- As I’ve had written above abour Bleach, I have to repeat myself. Uchiha Madara was the problem, that Kishimoto-sensei had no idea how to solve.

When he was stronger, Naruto had been stronger, and Sasuke to, but there he was even mooooore powerfull, so they also had to and, yeah.

He was just a poorly used plot device.

d) Love out of nowhere

- Let’s talk about Sakura. she did loved Sasuke only because he was cool, and then he tried to kill her, he betrayed the whole village, her and naruto over and over, had treated her as she was a nuisance etc. so what she did at the end? She walked after him so long till he made her pregnant and they’ve got married. Best romance ever. Except it’s not.

Also, Naruto and Hinata. Hinata is a great character, don’t get me wrong, but while she ALWAYS loved Naruto, Naruto never really payed attention to her, and it all was created very rougly and quickly at the end. He was always more focused on Sasuke, and there was also problem with that, because Kishimoto-sensei didn’t knoiw how to show devotion to someone, that’s not as romantic as Naruto’s toward Sasuke. And it’s obvious that it WASN’T INTENTIONALL, it just looks like it looks.

Also, the only one relationship that was builded was the one between Temari and Shikamaru (we can also say about Asuma and Kurenai but it was a really short one).

And then the final chapter, everyone are married and with kids out of nowhere. Good for them, just, it was really weird.

f) who needs Akatsuki

- Akatsuki was an organization that was purely great as long as it was in the shadow. People were scared of it. It was a really BIG DEAL, and members of it were dangerous. And then in manga, and in shippuuden anime, when they started to show themselves, they... well, died pretty quickly. Also the whole thing about the chief of Acatsuki, Pain, who was in fact only a puppet of Madara... I mean, suddenly Akatsuki became nothing, and it was kinda unnerving.

g) Friendly Tailed Beasts

- Demons. Pet demons. Plushies who need to be understood.

Like, Tailed Beasts were a really interesting creatures, but obiously Friendship no Jutsu of Naruto worked also on them so here it is. Naruto’s Zoo.

Killed potential. There was a chance to show something with power and brutality, but nah, why we should have that? Demons can’t be evil obviously.

SUMMARY:

- “Naruto” is not a bad series. Just have it bigs flaws. But also here, like in Bleach or Fairy Tail, the OP’ness wasn’t the main source of the failure. It was lack of the proportion between main characters and side characters, and Kishimoto-sensei clearly had no idea what to do with his own villains and had really strong problems with creating a relationships. But in the end it wan’t about ninjas anymore, it was Dragon Ball with guy in a tracksuit, and that was the worst one.

SO, DID THE OP-THING DESTROYED THOSE THREE TITLES?

My answer is: nope.

OP characters are totally ok, as long as creator KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THEM. Kuchiki Byakuya from Bleach was an OP character, but still great, Hatake Kakashi from Naruto was an OP character, but also- still great.

Also I want to say, that I don’t hate Fairy Tail, Naruto or Bleach.

I don’t like FT, but with Naruto and Bleach I’m pretty ok. I’m just a person who understand flaws of the title she reads.

SO, ABOUT IZUKU MIDORIYA’S “OP’ness”:

Many have doubts how it’ll turn out, but what I want to say is that Izuku is supposed to defeat All for One, and to become the greatest hero. He have to become powerfull and have more than one trick, so for me 6-7 quirks works.

Also just look at chapter 215. Everyone cried that he can use “black whip” so suddenly, but the price for using it is STRONG PAIN and reduction of One For All limit, that is possible to use (20%). So now, add 5 more an every each with it’s own restriction. Yeah.

Izuku have a lot of strenght, but Todoroki or Bakugou are controlling their powers FAR BETTER than him. Tokoyami too! He still have to catch up, ant to learn a lot of things.

Also, how many quirks does All for One have? Is he invincible? Ofc not.

Also summing my babling:

Izuku’s “op’ness” won’t destroy a thing. Horikoshi-sensei (for now) know how to handle and OP characters.

If there will be a downfall of the series, then there will be a lot of another flaws, not just one to kill it all, so don’t be afraid. Have a faith.

#bnha spoilers #bnha #chapter 215 #215 #OP #Naruto #Bleach #Fairy Tail #SPOILERS #Falldown of the series #Babling #Ranting #Poor english #engrish #Izuku Midoriya is a great character

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 5 years

Text

Birds ~ Stan Uris (part 1)

A/n: My first song prompt! Heard this and immediately thought of my bird boy. I tried to resist writing it bc I’ve already done a little series fr Stan but I couldn’t help it. Hope you enjoy! Also, y’all are aged to 17/18.

Anon: Pidge

Word Count (without lyrics): 3036

Song: “Birds” by Thomas Sanders ft. Terence Williams

MASTERLIST

I don't wanna drive a fancy car today; I don't wanna ride in a red corvette. I don't wanna jog my Saturday away, but I don't wanna go home yet.

Shoulders clashed together and two pairs of eyes met, wide. “I’m so sorry,” one of the people gushed before pausing, a small smile on their face as their head tilted. “Eddie Kaspbrak?”

Eddie found a smile moving onto his face. “That’s my name,” he confirmed. “And you’re fine, you didn’t kill me.” They both laughed. “What’s your name.”

“Y/n,” was the answer. “We went to middle school together but... you probably don’t remember me.

Eddie felt guilty. “I... do not.”

The giggle that came out of the new face was cute and Eddie found himself liking this person. There was a certain energy. Something that drew him in and made him feel so comfortable and warm. “It’s okay. I was a really quiet, shy, awkward kid. I kinda sat in a corner and hid behind books from... everyone.” An embarrassed expression passed over their face. “I’m working on being more social. Making friends. Try to make high school better than Middle school.”

Eddie scoffed. “Heard it’s worse.”

Y/n smirked. “Challenge accepted.”

This human being was intriguing. Eddie knew his friends would like them. “Hey, want to come meet my friends? We’re just a bunch of Losers but it’s somewhere to start.”

Y/n beamed. “I would LOVE to.”

After that, Y/n became a Loser. The others all felt the same draw as Edddie had, and they were welcomed with open arms.

Stan thought they were fine in a passive way. He seemed to be the only one not super excited about his new friend that they had... Y/n was madly taken with him though. They thought he was so good looking and funny, more prone to laughing at his banter with his boys and his nonaggressive insults than to take offense to them, as if they already knew that Stan’s way of showing affection was through eye rolls and snarky comments.

Freshman year was filled with making memories and adjusting to the shift. Y/n kept their promise in accepting Eddie’s challenge when it came to high school being lame. For every bad thing that happened Y/n set a good thing. A hang out during he weekend or a game night in the middle of the week. Sharing jokes at lunch or bringing cool books and exchanging the worst pick up lines with Richie, making everyone laugh. That was the year went from stranger to friend, telling stories about their life and lineage since their family had been kind of wild. The Losers could tell some of them were fake, but Y/n never insisted they were real and told them for the pure purpose or entertainment. If anyone ever asked or pushed it, they would immediately tell if the story was real or not. Y/n lied a lot less than the average person. Probably because they were terrible at it unless they were telling a story.

Sophomore year was when Y/n stopped making it about their life and turned stories simply into that- stories. Fantastical and amazing and full of magic or horror or drama. They were more entertaining than ever, and Bill often would write down an outline of each story, giving the notes to Y/n and insisting they should write it. Y/n would claim the the same thing: “You write it, Billiam. I couldn’t sit down and organized my chaotic thoughts on paper. I change it based on crowd reaction and there’s so many plot holes.. you’d do better.” So Bill would write them. And, in return, he gave Y/n paper copies of each of the short stories he’d strengthened based off of her idea. Y/n collected them in folders and when Summer came, they left pages for covers and made an amateur book- Short Stories by Bill Denbrough and Y/n L/n. Those stories were told again and again until the other Losers could recite them, but without fault Ben and Eddie would ask for another story during each long stretch of nothing or when they couldn’t sleep at sleepovers.

Junior year was for Richie and Y/n’s insane duo. With Eddie and Y/n’s joking around and brother/sister bond and Bill and Y/n’s bond over writing and how Ben and Mike could rant about anything and Y/n would listen with endless, genuine interest, it was amazing to see Y/n not only be creative, attentive, caring, and genuine, but also be able to keep up with Richie. Y/n laughed at his jokes, as earnest to listen to him as they listened to Mike or Eddie. The two kept the mood light, continuing their constant exchange of jokes and pick up lines. Between Bill’s creative mind and Richie’s unwavering ability to always have something to say, the two boys and Y/n became really close as Y/n tied inside jokes into quick stories, letting Richie jump in with voice impersonations and dorky comments and the most wacky, random suggestions to throw the story for an insane loop. Bill, as before, took notes and wrote the stories at home in his free time, and a new volume was made- “Crazy Stories by Trashmouth, Sunny, and Big Bill.” That’s what they called Y/n. Sunny, because of their cheery disposition and the way they brought a new sense of life and a simultaneously bright and also chill atmosphere. A safe sort of feeling that was so warm and comfortable and felt exactly like home.

When Richie and Bill realized they had feelings for each other, it was Y/n who got them together. And then they got Ben and Mike together too. The summer after junior year, Y/n sat back and smirked as they successfully paired up their friends and watched love bloom.

One day, Eddie plopped next to Y/n. “You’re good at that.” Y/n looked over with their arms crossed and a questioning eyebrow risen. “Match making. Getting people together.” He chuckled. “Think you could help me out?”

Y/n chuckled. “I’ll definitely keep my eye out, Eddie Spaghetti.” Y/n rarely called Eddie that other than in joking, lighthearted moments like these. They had picked it up from Richie. “You deserve to be happy.” They winked and Eddie nodded, agreeing silently.

Two weeks later, Y/n pointed out a guy sitting in the park with a book on his lap. “The one in the purple shirt?” Eddie asked doubtfully.

Y/n shot him a look. “Yes, Eddie. Trust me. He works in the pharmacy, in the back. Sorting things and restocking shelves. He’s super introverted so it might take a second, but you two are a match made in heaven. Swear it on my reputation.”

Like magic, a few months later Eddie ran to his friends a few days before senior year began, ranting about the fantastic date he’d had the night before with his boyfriend and the kids they had and on and on- only Y/n stuck around to listen, laughing and beaming. “YOU’RE MAGICAL!” Eddie ended dramatically.

“I told you!” Y/n insisted.

Eddie looked around at the Losers. Stan and Bill were talking as Richie played with Bill’s fingers. Mike and Ben, not one for super affection while with their friends, were sitting close together and listening to the conversation about what they expected senior year to be like and what they had planned after, every once in a while giving input.

Suddenly he turned to Y/n. “What about you?”

Y/n seemed confused. “What ABOUT me?”

“Oh come on Sunny,” Eddie prompted. Y/n’s nose scrunched up at the nickname. They knew that Y/n wasn’t ALWAYS happy. No one was. They knew that Y/n actually got into a lot of arguments with their parents and had to deal with being the less favorite child compared to their younger sister who was perfect and pretty and for some reason everything Y/n wasn’t to their parents. That’s why Y/n was so accepting and attentive and caring- because they didn’t want anyone to feel alone or less than as they had. But the nickname had stuck more in appreciation for how hard Y/n worked to be the best friend they could be despite it all.

Still, sometimes it bothered Y/n the same was ‘Eddie Spaghetti’ bothered Eddie. They still used the nicknames though.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You have to like someone. Let me help set you up with someone!”

Y/n shrugged, suddenly not as into the conversation. Eddie was unsure what he’d said and why it had upset Y/n, but he promptly stopped talking. Y/n sighed, running a hand through their hair in habit. “There’s no one interested in me,” they settled.

Later, Eddie would talk about the odd interaction with Ben and the two would team up to figure out who Y/n liked, because Ben said that based on what they said, there WAS someone.

“Come ON, Y/n!” Eddie insisted.

Finally they broke. “Oh my gosh, it’s Stan!” Both boys stared at Y/n with shock. “I’ve tried everything I could think of, but no matter what I do every time I try and get especially close to him he just seems annoyed with me more than anything. Like how he’s annoyed with Richie but worse.” Ben and Eddie shared a startled look. That was bad. “I gave up. He won’t ever like me, I get it.” Their voice grew quiet. “But it won’t change that when he smiles my stomach twists and when he laughs my insides warm up. It doesn’t change that I wonder if his hair is as soft as it looks or think about holding his hand and marking him laugh or...” they shrugged, glaring into their lap. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t bring him to me and when I try to go to him, he gets annoyed.”

There was a pause before Ben scooted close to his friend, placing his hand on their shoulder. “We have one year left, and then we’re done with high school. You’ve been into him since freshman year?” Y/n nodded. “That’s three years, Y/n. Three years.” Eddie and Y/n both gulped, but Ben smiled. “You might be THE matchmaker, but I think you should go for it again. Try a different tactic. Don’t give up or stop trying. Stan deserves someone who’s as loyal and persistent as you. And you never know, maybe you’ll find a hole in that wall of his and make his life better just as we know you do for everyone.”

Smiling, Y/n thought about it for a second. A small smile grew on their face and they nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

Ben and Eddie cheered, causing Y/n to laugh.

...but saying they would do it would be a easier than doing it. Succeeding would be even harder. But, Y/n was trying it seemed. Again.

Big sigh.

Today is not the day to jump out of a plane. I don't wanna parasail or play roulette. I don't wanna risk it all or go insane, but I don't wanna go home yet.

The couples in the Loser’s Club set up a group date as a last ditch hurrah before summer ended, leaving Stan and Y/n with nothing to do with their friends. Y/n took their chance, approaching Stan as the group broke up for the day. “Hey.”

Stan looked over and smiled a little, nodding. “Hello.” The small, slightly friendly, casual upturn of the corner of his lips was all Y/n could ever get from Stan and it was frustrating when the one person she wanted to see smile the most was all the only person they couldn’t get to really smile.

“So everyone’s going on that group date tomorrow,” Y/n began and Stan looked at then sideways, not wanting to partake in any such activities with his friend just because Y/n couldn’t be fine on their own. “Maybe we could hang out tomorrow? Not with the other Losers on the date, but just like... I don’t know, anything.”

Stan had planned to go birdwatching the next day so the idea of not going the one day he was sure absolutely no one would bother him was disappointing. But he was working on being more of a people person, so though hesitant, he managed a, “What did you have in mind?”

Y/n help hope rise inside of them. “We could go to a movie.”

Stan’s nose scrunched. “It’s supposed to be a really good day tomorrow, I don’t want to lock myself indoors for too long. Plus I’ve seen all the movies out that I’m interested in already.”

Touching their bottom lip, Y/n thought. “So then no arcade either.” Stan shook his head. “We could go to the Quarry,” they offered next.

That didn’t seem to please him either. “It’s not as fun without the whole gang,” he pointed out. And Y/n had to agree, he had a point.

“We could ride bikes. Like, race or just ride.” Even Y/n knew that was a weak idea. “Or go in a hike. Or have a picnic! Oh that would be so fun!”

A hike and picnic actually sounded like a great idea. Stan could see them walking, quietly their footsteps to see birds while walking, and then continuing to do so as they ate, making the smallest talk about buds and nature and other odds and ends things that popped into his head.

But even though he could see it, he knew it wasn’t realistic. No one was into bird watching- even the other Losers thought it was dorky. Richie teased him about it all the time. Y/n was too loud and impatient anyway and would probably scare all of the birds away. They’d want to tell stories or have long, constant conversation. Stan had always been annoyed with Y/n. The way they seemed to bond so easily with everyone but him. They were too loud and hyperactive- Stan was quiet. They could never get along like Y/n did with the others. For that reason alone Stan said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He didn’t know why he had such a wanting to keep Y/n away but he did. So whatever. He had his birds anyway.

Y/n deflated, completely out of ideas. They walked in silence for quite some time. House passed. Y/n’s turn passed, but they continued with Stan, trying to come up with something. Anything. They made a promise to Eddie and Ben to do their best, so no matter what they would.

After a few more weak ideas passed through their mind, though, Y/n slowly realized that they had been right- Stan would never go for them. They couldn’t even get him to hang out!

The pair finally reached Stan’s house and Stan turned to Y/n, an eyebrow raised in annoyance. “You coming inside with me too?”

Y/n stared at Stan for a really long time, eyebrows pushed together and hands on their hip. Now THEY were the annoyed one and it took Stan off guard. Y/n’s eyes were actually really pretty and the simmering irritation and swirling thoughts made this intense look in their eyes that was dark and alluring. They were... kinda cute actually.

Stan hated when his brain did this. Notice things about Y/n. Notice how good looking and easy to get along with they were. He hated how he was secretly so drawn to Y/n. He’d become antisocial and with all his friends pairing up, his favorite past time was just to block out the whole world and look at birds and pretend he wasn’t himself. Just a drifting cloud, watching and observing and taking notes. It was freeing, the quiet. It let him relax and be himself. It had gotten to the point that anytime he was around people he just felt... on edge. Like he was irritated simply by other people’s presence. So he avoided people. There was a kind of content that he couldn’t enjoy with people around and he didn’t want to let that go.

Except Y/n kinda made him want to. Made him want to think of a different kind of life with the one person he was sure was the polar opposite of the person he needed in his life that way.

Nothing too dramatic. Going on dates. Holding hands. Mindlessly playing with fingers and hair like Bill or leaning their shoulders together as one of them read like Ben and Mike. Someone to make you smile and make memories to bring smiles and conjure for lonely moments. Someone to kiss, maybe, if that was as good as he secretly wondered it was. Someone to BE with. He knew he was expected to find someone, eventually, but... he had time right? And no way in the world could Y/n be that person anyway!

It was a mantra he’d been repeating to himself since the end of sophomore year when Y/n had leaned over and kissed Stan’s cheek to congratulate him for passing his final exam. The little bubbles and heartbeat trips had added up to a picture Stan didn’t like in that moment, blaring a truth he had settled to simply ignore until they all went away. Until Y/n went away. But the feelings and the person who caused them still stayed. And, in moments like these, it was hard to keep that truth buried as deep down as he usually had them. It was hard to not admit it even for a split second just to himself...

Y/n was really good looking. Funny, nice, positive, caring. Thoughtful. Gentle. They were dedicated and hard working and fun and their teasing was exactly what made him go. They way they flirted seemed to appeal just to him.

He... he...

“Stan?” Y/n called. Stan blinked, humming as he was knocked from this thoughts. He realized he was glaring more deeply than he had been before, frustrated with himself. Y/n was frowning, probably think he was glaring at whatever they had said. “I said, if you hate all of my ideas, what do you do for fun?”

Stan’s heart stopped dead in his chest. Birdwatching. Birdwatching is what he did for fun.

Fuck.

#stan uris #stanley uris #2017 #IT #Wyatt oleff #sort of #actually #more hesse eisenberg #because aged up and shit #but whatever #I had funnier tage but I saved the post on the srojg blog #so this is what you get now #sorry #please read this and cry with me #fluff #angst #i’m so dxcited for thus #and it’ll be sooooooooo fluffy I promiss

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tuwam · 5 years

Text

comfort.

‘are you okay hanna?’ jamie asks, with snickers that she can’t keep in from across the table. “no.” and as she says it, hanna’s feels another itch at her skin, causing her head to fall promptly back on the desk.

[ the soulmate au where once you meet your soulmate, it’s physically uncomfortable to be apart from them for too long. ft. minna @rosaeau ]

rewind to a few months ago.

hanna didn’t need a damn tutor. she was a good student, no matter what her english professor said. she mentions that she has dreams of entering the new york fashion scene and her father jumps at the chance to flaunt his money.

“it’s a bad idea pop.” they’re at the kitchen table when he suggests the idea, his ridiculous money themed apron on while his mother makes sure he doesn’t burn another pancake that he tries to flip. hanna’s father is - a joke. to her and her mother. a joke that her mother can’t seem to get enough of and while he almost lands the pancake on her face both of them are laughing. hanna for a few seconds before she returns to her previous statement. “i don’t need a tutor.”

while he looks like he might cave, her mother is the one to grab the skillet handle and fix hanna with a look. her dad’s easy to persuade, her mother, not so much. for the life of her, hanna sits there and tries to figure out how the two of them can possibly match. her father, gambling addict, tycoon owner whose about as silly as they come when he steps out of his world with flashing lights. her mother, stubborn, hard-working and caring less about money unless it’s to keep her going, keep her free. her mother’s stubborn but her father’s persistent.

she watches them wrestle for the skillet before her mother’s expertly flipping one. naturally, it’s the one thing she doesn’t get about soulmates. she’s heard so much about it, and is told she’s lucky to be able to see it up close. it’s unpredictable and apparently the talk of the world.

soulmates. not in the way people write them in stories, dreams them up when they talk about how they wish romance to be. actual soulmates, destined to be by something that humans can’t quite comprehend. because each story is different, all everyone knows is once you know you know. by something less cheesy than a spark in a kiss or a tug on the heart. something physical, almost biological.

hanna doesn’t know the details, she just knows her parents had that experience and now they’re never apart. it’s cute, but she’s trying to win a case here, so she’s boring holes into her father’s resolve.

‘you’re not paying attention in classes hanna.’ “noted. still don’t need a tutor.” ‘you don’t care about anything that’s not fashion hanna.’ “noted. but i don’t need a tutor.”

‘at least try it out seol.’ a tough blow. a low blow. hanna regards her father with a glare before she’s grabbing her things to head to her first class.

hurray for econ.

‘he used your name?’ hanna’s only solace from these troubles are jamie. jamie who is greeting her outside of class with a chocolate mocha and hanna could kiss her. could, but she’s too busy sipping at the drink and relishing it all. the joy and wonders of a mocha on a hot day. “he knows I won’t say no.” the decision to go by hanna came from the time spent with her mother, just a little joke about the flowers she’d put on her designs when she was younger. she’s far past the flower-dazzle stage but the name stuck. ‘okay but, you don’t study for english, they’re not wrong.’ “whose side are you even on these days, the disrespect.” ‘just try it out, it might be good? if not i’ll learn it just to tutor you.’ “your lover boy might be mad but just to humor myself, i will.”

jamie makes a motion, maybe to fight the lover boy comment but hanna is too busy dashing up the library stairs.

the thing is, she knows she’s not paying enough attention to her english class. simply because when she’d expressed her interest in the new york market, she meant learning a bit for her visit there. learning the essentials and not the fundamentals of the language. of course her father is who he is, a renown businessman and if there was one thing he drove home it was that she should never half-ass anything. family drawings in elementary school - have hers at the top. golf carts races with her family - first place. if she wanted to be in fashion, she had to conquer. she had to explain to him why couture houses just - wasn’t a possibility in this day and age.

the rest was very much doable. her competitive streak comes from him no doubt. but, she wasn’t to blame if she just wasn’t that into her english class as she was her other classes. the business classes were a necessity and well the fashion classes were just that. long before she realized she was failing even vocabulary quizzes because of lack of studying, and they were so far into the grammar components she couldn’t catch up.

it was frustrating but she’d be damned if she let anyone else know that.

aside from jamie hanna had accumulated something of a reputation on their campus. other than the reputation that came with her father’s empire, she was simply known for being a socialite. being at parties but never interacting with people, just shining in diamonds she just had to bat her lashes to get. for that, hanna just liked to try new designs around the masses, she didn’t even enjoy the parties, but the image must be maintained for the goal ahead. really, most of her time is spent with jamie. when people sit and gossip to one another, whether about her or the newest soulmate phenomenon, she’s never a part of it.

only now she hears the giggling behind her when jamie finds a spot for them to set up shop. hanna’s econ books thrown around while jamie tosses her english book atop them all.

'apparently, sam’s friends. joon and ahyeon?’ hanna makes a hum that she’s listening, though her eyes show she’s contemplating opening this damned book. ‘they’re soulmates and he’s having a hard time stopping them from killing each other.’ “huh?” when she does look up jamie is engrossed in her phone, as usual, and hanna gets revenge by dropping her huge ethics book on top of her pile. jamie’s jump in her seat and scandalized look is just the reaction she’d expected. ‘he won’t say rather- he says he doesn’t know why. they’re antsier than usual.’ “makes you wonder if it’s all really a good thing? or if the match up is legit.”

‘well, it worked for your parents.’

another hum.

“i suppose.”

hanna just doesn’t enjoy the thought of having no control, can’t really fathom how her mother handled it. but it’s not something she needs to think about - and it’s joon and ahyeon’s problem not her own. she has english to pretend to study so that jamie will give her sketchbook back.

if there’s one thing hanna loves more than anything (and jamie) it’s being right.

‘it could’ve have been all bad.’ see it’s been a week and some days since her father committed to getting her tutors. she’s had to try a tutor each day and hanna’s damn near ready to rip her hair out.

it’s been, a wild few days. and jamie’s expression shows she’s enjoying the insufferable stories more than she should. if it weren’t for the vanilla bean that’s before her, hanna might actually forego the entire story. but she’d been right, this was a bad idea.

day one.

hanna’s on-time. tired from studying all night for her art history class, fingers patched from an accident with her sewing machine. granted, she wasn’t in the best mood from the beginning. she’s on-time though, her books and pencil case laid out neatly on the cafe table. a cafe table of all places.

he comes, and it’s a guy because he’s announcing his presence before he even sits down. there’s nothing really wrong with him, he’s a little loud, a few minutes late but hanna��s always a little too punctual so it’s understandable. what she remembers is that he dressed nice and she’s sure she has a business class with him.

'okay let’s get right to it shall we?’ he’s the asshat who talks too much because he wants everyone to know that he knows too much and wants too much. in short, greedy. ‘let’s test your knowledge of english first alright?’ his name is minhyun and hanna had never wanted a death note faster in her twenty two years of living.

because the test was the problem. not his perfectly combed up hair, or his perfect teeth, or the tailored suit he always fucking wears to class because he has to be that business major. hell his accent wasn’t even the problem. it was the test - with questions specifically tailored to her understanding of business and her father. as well as a reading comprehension that was simply a list of his achievements. the nerve.

“do you just want to cut a deal with my dad?” ‘what? no - what?’ his english was surprisingly good here. ‘however, if it were possible, could you slide him the resume?’ when her coffee arrived she was sure to pour it all over that damned exam and leave.

( jamie promptly laughed at this one because ‘hanna you didn’t’ and hanna took one more sip before saying ‘yes i did’. )

day two.

they meet in the student courtyard, hanna taking the time to attempt to sunbathe and lower her blood pressure. it as a nice day which meant crop tops and athletic leggings, seeing as she’d just come from a run. something to clear her mind before this english tutoring completely consumed her. hopefully the heat would do it first.

here’s the thing. hanna works out, has to work out if maybe one day she has to model her pieces for someone. technically she’s always modeling her pieces, plus her mother is a workout buff so she’s always at the gym. her figure is exceptional though it’s hidden behind her fashion.

so, she’s not confused when she feels eyes on her. they’re college students but apparently some of the male students are as shameless as ever. no one could be as shameless as minhyun so she’s ready to give a proper scolding, when she recognizes the face.

well not at first. but she should’ve.

“unless you plan on never having kids, i’d look away.” a cough and the male standing above her is tumbling apologies. ‘i’m your tutor, seolhyun-ssi.’ which is weird because few people call her by her full name. hanna is curling her legs under her before gesturing out for him because what. the. fuck?

the test was fine. the test was actually alright, aside from the outdated questions that she’s sure she’s seen somewhere before. no the test wasn’t the problem, the fact that they were outdoors wasn’t, and certainly not that he called her by her name. the problem was that he couldn’t keep his eyes off her while she took the test, or while she spoke. it’s one look, one particular look before hanna remembers.

“don’t you work for my father?” ( it’s at this point in the story that jamie yells out a ‘nooooo’ ) ‘ah, so you remember me?’ she remembers him, remembers his long-standing crush on her and him bothering her each time she went to visit one of the hotels. it was creepy. this was creepier. “uh-huh. two minutes before I call my father’s guards.” he was off like a light.

hanna was exasperated.

the next one, a girl her age who apparently was korean-american. a girl who spent half the time just swapping instagram feeds and asking for pictures and tours of hanna’s closet. it hit a limit when hanna caught her taking pictures of her designs. she’d almost broken her phone - instead she factory reset it. she’d accepted the praise her mother had given her and the high five jamie had given her when she heard.

the one after that - an older woman because yes that was the problem age. an older woman who aside from being entirely too punctual was going on and on about the history of english and it’s arrival into korea. then she proceeded to discuss why english was important and should be studied before she addressed that hanna was not studying english and was studying fashion and why that was bad. yeah, when that tirade started, hanna just up and left.

It doesn’t help that the one for the next day had ended up rescheduling and hanna – didn’t have it in her to accept nor decline, she just didn’t have the energy to deal with another joke.

she was tired of playing tutor roulette.

‘just drop english.’ Is jamie’s final answer after hanna’s given her the full rundown of her week, head lowered until her forehead’s almost touching the top of her drink. “my father wouldn’t let me dare.” It’s her ego too, her ego that won’t let her just give up on it and while Jamie knows, she’d rather hanna sit in her own stubbornness than tell her about it. she does however, offer a comforting hand to ruffle hanna’s hair like she always does giving hanna time to jolt up from her miserable position and fix her hair with a pout.

‘try this last one out, if they’re that bad than I promise I’ll save you from your misery and tutor you myself.’ “deal.”

they meet in the library. jamie’s been a dear and promised hanna another refill of the vanilla bean she’d gratefully placed on the table, as long as she clears this session. clear meaning she doesn’t leave early though hanna is looking at the clock for the minute reason she needs to book it out. jamie is sitting a table away and watching intently and hanna, hanna is sitting rather miserably, chin on the table, eyes on her watch, and fingers playing with the drink that’s currently keeping her alive.

please be late please be late please be late.

‘kim seolhyun?’ she looks up, dreading the sense of déjà vu that’s about to come over her because what. she notices a few things, he’s very tall, very on-time, and very unlike the image she’s been ready to torment her. he’s in a button-up and he’s already sitting across from her as he starts to pull things out his bag. ‘I’m bang minsoo your tutor.’ he’s tall, tall to the point where if she were standing she’d still have to view him from this angle. well she is watching him from a weird angle and he’s still pulling things out his bag. It’s a normal bag too, his clothes, normal too. he’s – normal. aside from exceptionally soft looking hair but who cares about that.

“you’re on time.” ‘I am.’ “you’re dressed normal.” ‘as are most college students.’ it’s then that she realizes he’s all about finished taking out all of his things, now scattered neatly across the table and she’s aware of the things she doesn’t have spread out. ‘now are you ready?’ “for what?”

‘I’ve reviewed your class syllabus and I’m planning on at least getting you prepared for your coming quiz, then we can start with fundamentals and such.’ he’s flipping through papers, books and hanna’s suddenly sitting a lot straighter than before. she also doesn’t take her eyes off how concentrated he seems to be. concentrated but – calm. It’s strange. ‘seolhyun-ssi?’ “huh?” she takes her eyes off Jamie, who’s busy throwing signals from behind his ear. questions probably but hanna can’t quite make them out because her tutor – minsoo is looking dead at her. ‘are you ready to begin?’ he doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that she has no paper as he’s already slid his materials over to her. he’s just waiting. “hanna.” ‘pardon?’ “hanna, I go by hanna.” ‘alright then hanna, lets begin.’ “yeah sure.”

‘that just about does it. review these concepts tonight and your oral exam should go fine. review some right after I leave though.’ “you’re leaving?” hanna’s almost embarrassed at the words, because they come out so easily and she’s still looking at the words he’s underlining when she says it. ‘your session’s up, and - I do have class.’ she’s even more embarrassed to say she’s having a good time because god her father won’t let her live it down. “okay, thank you. next week we’re meeting here right?” ‘ideally it would depend on if you pass tomorrow but yes here is fine.’

she understood concepts that she’d normally drown her teacher out. minsoo was patient and well he wasn’t speaking on overwhelming amount of english so she could follow. It’s probably why she’d been able to follow along, and probably why she didn’t notice the time pass, she does notice minsoo getting up – probably because it’s so abrupt and she’s sorting through her thoughts, but it makes her shift in her seat. even more so when jamie bounds over and fixes her with a stare – one she can’t quite read. hanna shifts even more, a strange shudder taking over as she immediately grabs for her drink.

‘okay so?’ “well – I didn’t throw my drink on him.” ‘I noticed.’

“okay he wasn’t too bad, I still want my drink.” ‘did you mean he wasn’t bad looking?’ “absolutely not, lead me to overpriced coffee!”

and if hanna sticks closer to Jamie during the walk there, neither of them complain.

of course she has to tell her father to stop looking for another tutor. It’s at the end of the next day, after studying thoroughly and doing not so bad on her oral exam the morning after their tutor session. he’s in the study, normally where he doesn’t like being bothered, but there’s her mom, lounging on the chair while he flits back and forth between bank books and the laptop. how they spend so much time together is beyond her. she pops in and eyes are on her.

“hey, just wanted to say I’ll be keeping this tutor.” ‘he’s cute isn’t he?’ is the first thing her mother says and hanna quite literally falls from where she’d been planning to stick her head in and right out. “shameless.” ‘didn’t hear a no.’

‘that’s great dear, it was getting hard to not do a full screening on the next one and scare them away.’ “yeah yeah thanks.” hanna’s composing herself, rubbing at her shoulders to relieve her goosebumps. her mother catches this immediately and looks up from her book, eyes calculating. ‘are you cold hun?’ her father looks up, more concern in his eyes than anything. the drama queen. “yeah, do you guys have the air on?” they share a look – the strange telepathy that they always do. ‘no – but darling you’re in a long-sleeved shirt.’ “I could be getting sick. I’ll take something.”

as it turns out, she’s not getting sick. that was evident after the hoard of medication she’d taken and the lack of actual flu or cold symptoms. couldn’t be allergies as hanna has none, and there’s no bug going around school.

she just feels.

antsy.

she keeps shivering whether she’s in her clothes or not, itching and shaking even under cold water.

the morning after the conversation with her parents she’d bundled up fiercely the next day, making sure she would sweat out whatever cold would hit her. when it seemed like the fabric of her clothes was just making things worse, she opted for shorter sleeves and lighter, softer clothing. something to take away the itch that’s making her body shake.

‘maybe you’re allergic to something.’ Is jamie’s rationing. “my allergies would’ve been shown up.” is hanna’s answer.

she considers her diet, though she’s relatively a healthy person, she makes a log of what she could’ve eaten to cause it. but again, she has no food allergies either, she’s relatively healthy and it doesn’t feel like a food issue. even if her stomach does start to twist and turn now and then, it’s not the sick feeling from eating something bad – and hanna would know she’s had food poisoning.

she gets chills, has goosebumps she can’t really see. Her stomach twists no matter how much ginger tea she drinks and she’s at the point of wanting to jump out her own skin. It’s led to her being quite irritable too. rolling her eyes when her teacher asks her a question she knows hanna doesn’t know the answer to, snapping at someone near her parking space on her way to class.

‘could be your period babe.’ “my period was two weeks ago.”

and it’s not that either. It’s not the emotion that double over before her period, it’s not the stabs in her stomach that start coming early, or the cravings she’ll likely have. It’s none of that and this is the first time hanna’s wished that it was, at least then she would know what to do. because right now she wants to shed her own skin, feels like she’s growing in and out of it at the same time. feels like she’s itching something but never quite scratching it, like she needs something soothing but the burn isn’t painful it’s just – uncomfortable.

“do I need to see a doctor?” it’s a week into this when she mentions it to her parents. a week of her arriving irritable to school, practically clinging to jamie and saying nothing but groaning each time she feels a pull she doesn’t understand. like her skin was rubber and something was trying to call her back, pulling her thin but not ripping just – stretching. hanna was in agony and her mother now sat on the edge of the couch, running her hand through her hair while her father observed her. she’d told them her symptoms but she’s all but realized how crazy she must sound. ‘describe it again seol.’ hanna groans into the pillow but her mother’s touch is – distracting, helps her focus. “feels like I’m being tugged in several directions, everything is subtle but at the same time it’s overwhelming. It’s like if someone pressed needles against you but just the tip so you didn’t feel the pain. It’s terrible.” If anything, she would get bonus points in creative writing for her descriptions. If her teacher could see her now. Hanna wishes no one could see her, wishes she could all but melt into the couch. ‘do you know when it started?’ “I don’t know last week sometime?”

all these questions and all hanna wants to do is bury further away from it all.

‘we’ll get you to a doctor this afternoon, are you still going to class?’ she wants to say no, wants to stay right where she is until later this afternoon, instead she drags herself up and to her room. If she were more attentive, she might’ve noticed the look her parents share as she heads to get ready.

jamie is ready with a chamomile tea, a hint of ginger and a hug for Hanna when she walks out of her class. she makes no comment on how hanna left early and just smothers her in a hug, a hug that hanna can’t be bothered to wiggle out of. she focuses on the fact that it’s jamie and not that her body feels like it wants to be somewhere else but can’t figure itself out. instead they head to the library, jamie sending worried glances each time hanna shakes her shoulders or holds her head.

“please not headaches.” she doesn’t have time to think because as the headache grows there’s a figure before them both. it’s of course her tutor, though it was almost hard to tell because of the mask he’s sporting. ‘sorry, I’m a bit late.’ truthfully hanna hadn’t noticed. she’s more concerned at how he sounds as bad as she feels. ‘ready to start?’ “are you feeling okay?” is the first thing hanna asks, jamie having left her side so they can start. ‘nothing too bad, wore a mask in case it’s contagious but I don’t think so.’ “i’d take anything over whatever is hitting me right now.” she swears she gets a smile at the comment, but they’re launching into problems right away.

for the past week, the discomfort that hanna’s felt has been relentless. it started in small bursts but began to last the entire day, hence why she’d begged her parents to see a doctor today. as minsoo starts to finish reading her homework for the week, she’s suddenly aware that she’s feeling better. much better. his mask is off too. she’s grateful because truthfully, hanna didn’t think she could get through this session with that same pain that’s been plaguing her. she’s also relieved that he seems to be feeling better. she has half a mind to text her parents that all are good but he’s getting up, things packed already and her lips move with an urgency new to her.

“hey, can I get your number, in case I feel under the weather again and actually can’t show up?” minsoo’s giving it though, without question or complaint and hanna’s waving the phone as she waves him off. ‘you look like you’re feeling better.’ “thank god, or he might’ve asked for different pupil.” ‘mmmmm, I doubt that.’

hanna shrugs though, making sure to send a quick message to him.

to: 💥 minsoo [ hanna! ✌️ ] from: 💥 minsoo [ 👌 ]

when she arrives home, her mother is questioning her instantly.

“i just feel better? not sure, but my tutor session went well!” just to bring the mood up because she can see her parents are visibly concerned. ‘but hanna, you were in pretty bad shape.’ “maybe I just needed to flush out a bad bug, I feel fine!”

hanna’s in the same predicament, though it feels worse than before. the symptoms double over within half the time from before and she’s cuddled under her covers trying every possible position to ease the discomfort.

‘hanna I’m really worried.’ jamie’s voice rings on the other end of the line. “don’t worry, I really think it needs to run it’s course.” whatever it is.

whe doesn’t miss tutoring this week, though she can tell from minsoo’s hair, a little shaggy on the edges, that he’s dealing with his own things too. things that seem to disappear during their session, a reason why she makes it a goal to not miss them, no matter how bad she feels. It’s not exactly pain anyway, it’s just discomfort.

body-shaking discomfort.

she continues her routine. suffering for a week but managing to make her tutoring sessions just because she can. and they always make her feel better in that moment, a reason why she thinks it might just be stress.

two more weeks pass and hanna’s sure it’s not just a bad bug. because the intervals are shorter where she feels discomfort. It goes from a few days to one day to a few hours. it gets bad that she’s in her bed staring at her phone.

to: 💥 minsoo [ hey, it’s hanna! I might not make our session tomorrow, I’m really not feeling well. 😷😷😷😷 ] from:💥 minsoo [ I hope I didn’t give you what I caught, it’s not exactly fun ] to: 💥 minsoo [ don’t think what I have is contagious ] from:💥 minsoo [ how so? ]

and hanna hadn’t planned on discussing this, talking past her update but, she indulges.

to: 💥 minsoo [ feels like my insides being stretched ] from: 💥 minsoo [ ouch, in every direction and nowhere at all ] to: 💥 minsoo [ YES ] from: 💥 minsoo [ sorry I might’ve given it to you ] to: 💥 minsoo [ hm, I likely gave it to you ] from: 💥 minsoo [ either way, I hope you feel better ] to: 💥 minsoo [ if you find any remedies tell me!!!!! ] from: 💥 [ sure thing. ]

and for good measure.

to: 💥 minsoo [ goodnight! ]

she feels worse after missing their session. much worse. to the point where she’s pacing around her room, stepping in place, doing anything to try and ease her body and it’s confusion. it’s restless and it’s making hanna’s head spin. when her parents ask she just says she doesn’t know. when she asks the doctors they just say they don’t know.

because yeah that gives her hope.

“seriously I have no idea what it is.” hanna’s panting now, having resorted to running to let off some steam. she’s on the phone with minsoo, who despite his own afflictions has been a good comfort for her during it all. ‘me neither, needless to say, I keep worrying my sister.’ “my parents are surprisingly calm, though I know they’re worried.” they haven’t kept off her case, in a good way though. They check up on her and give her food without her needing to ask, she’s just been unable to feel reprieve from anything really. minsoo had laughed when she told him how her father hovered by the door ready to get her anything. “I’ll have fun trying to explain this sick note to my professors.” not that she minds, maybe she needed the break. running like this, and watching minsoo’s face change as he talks, as she cools down and listens, isn’t too bad.

‘hanna.’ “hm?” ‘you’ve been walking a while where are you?’ “uhm, don’t know. Why?” ‘it looks familiar…’ for a second it looks like he’s leaning into the screen and then there’s a flurry of movement, then laughter. ‘you’re nearing my neighborhood, how’d you manage that?’ “who knows. didn’t realize I was walking that far.” ‘I’ll come down.’ before she can say that he doesn’t have to, or that he’s not feeling well, she sees his figure approaching from the end of the street. funny enough, he looks like he ran. “you didn’t run here did you….” ‘I needed the exercise. I feel better already.’ and though he’s joking, catching his breath hanna’s been feeling immensely better since a little after her run. enough that she can smile fully at him, even laugh at his words.

he walks with her for the rest of her cool down. a cool down that she feels like she doesn’t even need because everything’s settled right now. It could be, and hanna considers it, the calm of the night, maybe she needed a good run. maybe she needed a change in environment, in pace. whatever it is, it’s working. has her joking with minsoo and feeling like herself, feeling that she’s missed their sessions all too much.

‘is that true?’ she doesn’t realize she’s spoken the words until she meets minsoo’s eyes on her. and she’s suddenly very aware of how close they’re walking together. hanna doesn’t move though, instead she just laughs and averts her eyes. “I miss them, they were the highlight of my week.” which isn’t a lie, even if she tries to put sarcasm in her tone. really, english tutoring as the highlight of her week? it was true whether she denied it or not. she suddenly didn’t mind if he knew or not. ‘it’s definitely been the best part of my few weeks.’

they walk a bit more, night closes in a bit more and they lose track of time. to where her father’s messaging her and hanna almost dreads having to go back, having to end the peace. but she’s feeling better so there’s a plus.

“I have to head home before my father sends a search party.” and – as if he knows. as if her eyes reveal everything without knowing, minsoo’s speaking up as she turns. ‘I’ll walk you.’ she doesn’t object. not when he sticks just as close, not when they pass the gates to her compound and he’s at the door, past the door and they’re laughing in the study.

‘you’re feeling better.’ Is what her mother says first. they’re both at the door, her father’s arm wrapped snug around his mother’s waist, his eyes on minsoo. “hey, sorry i’m late. i ran into minsoo? guess we both just needed a run.” ‘both? minsoo I wasn’t aware you weren’t feeling well either.’ ‘I’m fine ma’am, i was worried I’d given whatever I had to hanna but I’m glad that’s not the case.’ ‘i’m glad too. hanna do try to answer your phone more often, your father gets restless.’ “please, he’d be up the roof if it was you.” to which hanna’s father, the joke of her life, quite literally picks her mother up bridal style as he announces his love. hanna notices minsoo’s confusion and realizes she’s never told him, though she’s never in a position to tell anyone. “my parents are a soulmate match. for them they can’t spend too much time apart of they get restless, it’s wild. you’d think my mother was going through menopause.” ‘hanna!’ though her mother’s words have no bite while she’s literally being hugged tight by her husband, even after he’s set her back on her feet. ‘is it painful?’ are minsoo’s first words. unsurprising because most people have tons of questions when they hear about it. minsoo never seemed the curious type though, but hanna leans back and watches as her parents perk up at the opportunity to talk about their love.

‘at first it was unbearable? because we didn’t know what was going on or how to tell the cause. with ours it’s hard to tell but overtime the pull quite literally leads you to them because you’re in agony.’ ‘the pull?’ minsoo looks thoroughly interested and hanna – for whatever, maybe the aftereffects of this nonexistent flu, finds it cute. ‘hard to describe, the body literally cannot stand the distance for too long. after a while it becomes easier to withstand distance, the discomfort is there but not as strong the more time we spend together afterwards, and the more we deal with it. hanna’s father is just a baby. Hanna takes after him I suppose, she’s been moping about this house you’d think she was having period pains.’ “mom!” minsoo, the traitor, finds it his job to laugh and hanna quite literally thinks about knocking him out the couch. Until he smiles her way saying stupid things like: ‘glad you’re feeling better now.’

hanna’s floored because she’s got an urge in that moment. and it makes her want to shove everyone away, and yet, pull one person close.

abort mission.

she’s shooing everyone out, minsoo particularly.

‘he can’t go home by himself this late.’ “HUH?” the one time her father wants to be lenient about a boy.

the one time.

‘it’s fine I can call a taxi.’ ‘nonsense, we have a guest room down here.’

after much preparation hanna’s closing the door after bidding him a good night and a small apology. she sees her parents from atop the stairs and marches past them and their smug grins to her room.

‘he’s what?’ “downstairs in the guest room.” ‘wow, third base already.’ “like you haven’t slept over at sam’s.” ‘touche.’

just then hanna’s phone vibrates and she’s looking at the screen and nearly dropping her phone.

from: 💥 minsoo

“he’s texting me, jamie. jamie minsoo’s texting me why’s he texting me he’s downstairs what’s going on?” ‘well I suppose we won’t know the answer to that unless you read it and text back now would we?’

touche.

from: 💥 minsoo [ thanks for letting me spend the night. forgot to say so earlier. ]

“why’s he thanking me, he should thank my parents.” ‘idiot – does he have your parents on speed dial, no he has your cute ass.’

to: 💥 minsoo [ it’s no problem! I hadn’t realized how late it was, hope you don’t mind. ] to: 💥 minsoo [ hope you’re not secretly a thief either. sorry about my lovey-dovey high school parents ]

From: 💥 minsoo [ don’t mind at all. It was nice of them. and they’re nice too, obviously very in love. i’ve seen soulmate pairs before but they’re – refreshing. ]

‘oho, soulmate talk.’ “I’m gonna hang up.” ‘fine, hang up and talk to your loverboy.’

hanna chokes.

to: 💥 minsoo [ are they? I thought they’d be a bit much. you never seemed like you’d be interested in that. from: 💥 minsoo [ soulmate lore and stuff? you never asked. ] to: 💥 minsoo [ i’m sorry among all the agony and english suffering I forgot to ask about soulmate lore with you. ] from: 💥 minsoo [ what do you think of it then? ]

In that moment, hanna has to take a break because a headache’s coming. She almost groans at the feeling and jamie picks up immediately.

‘I’m going to assume he didn’t say anything bad, you okay?’ “yeah I might turn in, not feeling good again.” ‘okay, call me if you need anything alright?’ “okay bye bye.” sealed with extra loud lip smacks and kiss noises because of course.

from: 💥 minsoo [ you okay? ] to: 💥 minsoo [ yeah, headache. maybe I’ve been up too long. ] from: 💥 minsoo [ not good, you should take a nap ] to: 💥 minsoo [ but! soulmate! lore! ] from: 💥 minsoo [ someone’s excited. ] to: 💥 minsoo [ I can talk all night about it, since I have first hand encounters ] from: 💥 minsoo [ I’ll be up all night, can’t seem to sleep ] to: 💥 minsoo [ I’ll be down in five ]

and for some reason he doesn’t protest. so hanna wraps herself in her blanket and slinks her way downstairs to the guest room, praying to the gods that her parents don’t wake up. or even if they do, they don’t ask.

they talk all night. hanna’s headache that was calling her to bed nowhere to be found. minsoo’s restlessness lulled into alertness and attention he gives her the entire night, both splayed over the living room couch. he tells her about his doubts and beliefs in the soulmate theory, his experiences both good and bad. he tells about couples he’s seen fail and couples he’s seen prosper, talks about how hopeful hanna’s parents can make people. hanna talks about her fears with it, her reservations and also her fascination when she looks at her parents. they talk and they talk until they can’t fight sleep and it’s the easiest sleep they’ve had in weeks, though neither admit. they just fall into one another.

that’s how hanna wakes up. with her head between her arms, placed firmly on the edge of the couch and minsoo’s chest directly in front of her. she doesn’t move though, relishing in the best sleep she’s had in weeks. in fact, it’s the sound coming from the kitchen that wakes her. it’s a glimpse of her father peeking over the couch and her making eye contact that has her shrieking and bounding for her room.

when she’s showered and changed and sent jamie a promise text to tell her everything, she joins her family. minsoo is up and looking so well-rested that he hasn’t quite fixed his hair yet. it’s cute ad insufferable, hanna wants to crawl back upstairs. but she quite literally feels her headache disappear when he waves a good morning and she waves back, turning to glare at her parents before they can say anything. of course, her mother isn’t phased.

‘you both slept well.’ “good morning and good bye mother.” ‘I made breakfast.’ “to go, I have class and minsoo has to get home.” ‘I’ll take---’ “I’ll drive him thank you father.”

hanna’s grabbing the keys, the kimbap and literally rushing minsoo out the door before her parents can trap them any further.

easily, thankfully, they fall into conversation as if they hadn’t fallen asleep earlier. hanna offers to drive minsoo to campus and the top-down on her car makes his hair more of a statement when they arrive. so much so that she’s laughing and he’s puzzled.

‘you’ve been laughing for fifteen minutes, earlier I was worried we’d crash.’ “yikes, your faith in my driving skills. here hold on.” without prompt, without warning really, hanna’s leaning over to fix the strands of hair that have gone wild. not like she couldn’t just tell him because now he’s this close and hanna thinks she can’t breathe but this is the easiest it’s been to breathe in weeks. and that’s scary. terrifying.

‘hanna!’ thank god for jamie. because hanna, jumps back and is hopping out the car to greet her friend. thank god for jamie but oh god jamie, jamie doesn’t spare one single glance moving from hanna to minsoo and her eyebrows doing that thing that makes hanna want to run. ‘thanks for the ride.’ Is all minsoo says, a smile on his face after he bows to jamie and waves himself off. hanna’s got about two seconds of leeway and she’s considering running, instead she calls after minsoo, practically bounds after him. “can I walk with you, I barely know your classes.” she half expects him to deny her, instead he’s nodding. and hanna for now will say it’s just to avoid getting grilled.

except that it becomes a routine. and hanna hadn’t planned that. hadn’t planned on getting used to the feeling of walking with minsoo to classes and him eventually walking her to hers. after one morning where he doesn’t and she does so bad on her english exam he’s waiting outside with vanilla bean and she’s forgetting all about it.

seriously what kind of warlock is he, hanna’s been trying to figure it out. she’s so caught off-guard that jamie’s managed to pull her out her daze with a fry to her face.

‘maybe you just like him.’ “pardon.” ‘you literally suffer when he’s not around, you like him.’ hanna takes a careful sip of her drink, letting jamie mull over her words. when she doesn’t, hanna swallow. “nah.”

jamie groans.

she does enjoy the company he brings though. the feeling of him walking beside her to class, to tutoring, even home that’s become more routine. it’s always the leaving part that hanna can’t quite get over, always makes her rub her hands together as if she’s collecting static, settling herself. she thinks nothing of it though, glad to be free of whatever plagued her in the earlier months.

except that the bug comes back.

at the worst of times in her opinion. it’s midterm season and while she’s enjoyed the help he’s given her, thoroughly enjoyed his presence around her, how they’ve started grabbing coffee together and even eating out when tutoring lasts too late, they need to study. hanna doesn’t want to disrupt minsoo’s study schedule and respects the request to take their tutoring out of midterm week. that also means, he’s busy studying that he’s not around to walk her to classes, and it’s not like hanna’s been dependent on it, that’ silly. but she feels it, feels it more apparent than she thought she would from the week before midterms start, into the beginning of the exam week.

‘maybe it’s because you guys just spend so much time together.’ Is jamie’s answer. Though hanna can tell jamie’s beginning to worry, about a lot really. hanna doesn’t get attachments like this, and the fact that it’s becoming so apparent and so troublesome that it’s affecting her environment. jamie’s worried but doesn’t want her worry to affect hanna. hanna appreciate it, so she wants to get to the bottom of this.

‘you could just miss him.’ is the solution her mother offers, still perched in the couch in the study, a book on soulmates in her hand. it’s plausible, even if it’s only been a few days since she’d seen him, it’s very plausible. hanna takes a look at the book in her mother’s hand and ignores how her stomach churns at the title. ignores what that might mean for her.

because to hanna that was dependence bordering on insanity. for her, for minsoo, whom she barely knew. sure she knew the little things, like his favorite color nowadays, how simple he liked his wardrobe, how tall she’d have to stand on the top of her toes to reach his height. how he likes his coffee and which classes he dreads and why, his little ticks when he doesn’t understand things and just how endearing it is that he can not understand things. the look on his face or the color on his face when she points out that she thinks it is endearing. she knows these little things, has saved them for the moments when she’s stuck in a long day and she knows they can still walk home together.

she knows that but it’s not enough to need. it shouldn’t be.

but hanna counts all that she knows, all she’s beginning to adore and she’s getting frightened.

scared as she is, she doesn’t get to hold it in for long. it’s the middle of midterm week and she’s sure she’s going to fail her english midterm tomorrow because she can’t fucking focus. for the life of her, her body itches and the covers aren’t helping but she’s wrapped in them anyway. she doesn’t want to call anyone, ask anyone, she just wants the feeling gone.

as if on cue her phone vibrates.

from: 💥minsoo [ you doing okay? ] to: 💥minsoo [ guess ] from: 💥minsoo [ exam stress? ] to: 💥minsoo [ nope, worse ] from: 💥minsoo [ penny for your thoughts ] to: 💥minsoo [ I’ll give you a million if you come by ] from: 💥minsoo [ on my way ]

and hanna doesn’t wait. she’s downstairs and meeting him outside the door.

they walk and they walk and they walk until they come across a playground. hanna on the swings and minsoo sitting quite literally in front of where she stops.

‘any reason you chose swings?’ “any reason you’re sitting there?”

touche.

she steps back, as far back as she can before the swing is pressed into her back and minsoo is a few feet in front of her. and she stays there, stays there and watches him. he sits absently, fingers idle in the woodchips, night just moving around him. around his shoulders, around his hands, his silhouette.

hanna looks for strings first.

she feels the first tug but sees none. it’s not like the swing is pressing into her back, it’s the opposite. something pulling. with the tug comes the itch, the shudder. and it’s not the cold. she sees no strings though, nothing buzzing around minsoo. but she sees him shudder, sees him look up instantly in her direction.

when their eyes meet hanna allows herself to sit and walk forward until her feet kick lightly against his own.

she moves back again, as far back as the swing will let her. and waits. without a word, waiting for something in the moonlight around him to shift. like how tides just follow the pull of the moon, she waits for it. then her skin starts to crawl and his eyes haven’t left hers, so she sits and moves forward again. this time his hand is on the swing when her feet kick at his. stopping, holding.

‘you’re a glutton for punishment.’ “I was testing my theory.” ‘which is?’

hanna bites at her lip. even the sting she feels couldn’t quite compare to the feeling, the calm that settles over her each time she swings back over to him.

“you know how – you can only go so far on the swing, until you’re yanked back.” ‘i’m aware.’ “that’s what it’s like with you. like pulling tight of a band until it’s released back.” ‘and it’s like it was never pulled in the first place.’ “right-!! you know?” ‘well since it’s a soulmate thing, the other person feels the same you know.’

hanna’s suddenly very shy and very grateful for how dark it is.

“so do you – how do you feel?” ‘how do you feel?’ “scared as hell. excited. better than I felt earlier.” ‘I’m about the same. not as scared, curious. willing.’

the last one has hanna’s head snapping up, minsoo who’d been looking elsewhere, maybe for a pull of the tides too, fixes his eyes back on her.

“willing to – what?” ‘well, I’m here.’ “you’re helpful.”

but hanna’s smiling as she says it. smiling and playing with the chips below her feet.

‘hey, fate picked me.’ “well - i’d pick you.”

oh boy is she glad it’s dark as hell outside.

“how long did you know, I can’t believe you two knew.” ‘i can’t believe you took so long to figure it out.’

hanna is, staring quite scandalized at her parents, while minsoo sits not bothered in the slightest, at the kitchen counter. they’d talked, but upon deciding that hanna does need to sleep to attempt to pass her exam, that she head home. minsoo of course had walked her, her parents had of course been up when they arrived.

‘admittedly your mother was in denial so you take after her.’ if it weren’t for the skillet she was focusing on, hanna was sure her father would have a spoon shaped mark on his face. “i wasn’t in denial.” minsoo makes something that sounds like a snort and hanna is betrayed. ‘jamie even asked me outside your class if i’d give you time to figure it out.’ “wow is this why sam’s friends were ready to kill each other, how long have you known.” ‘since the first night your parents let me stay here.’ “i am surrounded by traitors.” ‘i’m wondering if he should still tutor you.’

if she weren’t starving, hanna would’ve gone right to bed. but minsoo took the blanket and is offering a more comfortable spot curled up beside him. and pancakes. comfort and pancakes and minsoo seem like the better option. and when hanna’s close to falling asleep, head on his shoulder and stomach full, she thinks it might be the forever option.

fast forward to present day.

“a vacation with his sister, why.” ‘yes, the nerve of your boyfriend, spending time with his family.’ “he said he’d be back today.” ‘yes, he said sometime this afternoon, it’s one.’

hanna is close to drowning herself in this damn vanilla bean when she hears a chime, and already feels the ache start to subside. already feels a smile curling, though she’s a bit peeved.

“i’m the glutton for punishment.” ‘i missed you too.’ and she’s pouting, even when he hands her a souvenir, up until the kiss pressed to the top of her head. up until all of the ache disappears and she’s engulfed in arms for the remainder of their time at the cafe. engulfed in the very feeling that makes her feel like, the wait doesn’t hold a candle to the reward. and it never will.

#{ w: hanna. }#rosaeau #( if my computers da RES #au.

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spookyclooky · 6 years

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Connor and Hank on Christmas (ft. Sumo)

Date:

December 19th, 2038

Time:

PM 05:22 06

As Hank pulled his leather jacket closer around himself to fight the bitter cold of Michigan’s winter, Connor knelt next to a particularly mutilated body. The body of someone named Michael Parkins who had been brutally murdered earlier that morning. Connor touched his blood covered fingers to analyze the corpse’s blood, having taken some of the crimson liquid from one of the multiple blood puddles surrounding the man’s body.

“This must be like some kinda Christmas to you, huh, Connor?” Hank grumbled, watching the android do his work.

Connor’s ears instinctively perked up when a word he had little to no knowledge of passed his audio processors.

“Lieutenant, I don’t understand….What is Christmas?”

Hank’s eyes widened to nearly half their size, even though he probably shouldn’t even be surprised that Connor didn’t know about this human tradition. He was like a child in that aspect, he had only become deviant less than a month ago. He cleared his throat lowly before continuing.

“Well, uhh...Christmas is a day when humans give each other presents as a way to celebrate uhh….love and peace on earth or some crap. I’m not really sure of the whole damn backstory anymore, I haven’t celebrated it for years…” Hank explained, and before Connor could speak, he piped up again with something he’d suddenly remembered,

“--and another thing about Christmas that I forgot to mention is that there’s a..” he trailed off, wondering if he should make it seem like Santa was real for the sake of Connor’s innocence, or give him the full story to quench his curiosity. When he looked back up from the ground to glance at Connor’s face, he couldn’t bear to tell him the truth. Between the tilt of his head and his soulful yet puppy like eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth

“There’s this guy called Santa that flies through the air in this...this magic sled pulled by reindeer to deliver presents all over the world...kids leave out milk and cookies for him, it’s a whole big deal, I guess. That’s why there’s Christmas Eve before Christmas, to give Santa time to get shit done.” The lieutenant explained in an almost exasperated tone. That’s when Connor’s brow furrowed in what seemed like confusion.

“Hank, everything you have just said just raises more questions…”

“Well then do your own fuckin’ research then! Don’t ask me!” The police lieutenant yelled, throwing his hands up in aggravation. Little did Hank know, Connor would take this to heart and do just that. Not that Hank should be at all surprised by this point.

Date:

December 25th, 2038

Time:

AM 3:37 23

Since Connor had no real need for sleep, after Hank had gone to bed, he went straight to work on decorating the house (with a bit of help from Sumo, of course) as well as putting the finishing touches on Hank’s presents. He had no idea if his eccentric, hard-boiled partner would actually like the little gifts, but he had a feeling somewhere in his biocomponents that there was a chance he would.

When Hank shuffled into the living room that morning, he stumbled upon something he definitely hadn’t expected. Connor was casually sitting on his couch beside Sumo, watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with a large fully decorated tree that had somehow appeared in the corner of the room along with a couple of perfectly wrapped presents nestled underneath it. Hank took a moment to simply admire all the decorations that presumably his android partner had set up. There was a strand of paper snowflakes strewn around the perimeter of the ceiling along with colorful lights and cutouts of snowmen and snowflakes hanging down from above. While he was silently standing there, Connor finally noticed his presence and perked up, hopping off the couch with a santa hat atop his head.

“Merry Christmas, Hank!” he exclaimed, plopping a similar hat onto the man’s head.

Hank couldn’t help but chuckle at his enthusiasm, following the other across the room.

“I have a present for you” he nearly yelled, grabbing the small objects wrapped with newspaper and tape and thrusting them toward Hank. Even if Connor couldn’t exactly identify all of his new emotions yet, the one that he seemed to feel the most was excitement. Well, that and confusion, of course. The police lieutenant’s face contorted in bewilderment as he took the presents from the other’s hands. Connor sat on the floor in front of him which made Sumo hop down and join him, his head dropping into the android’s lap as he laid down. Hank hesitated for a few moments before opening the first present, which ended up being a book on coin tricks called ‘coin flips for dummies’. If it had been given to him by anyone else, he probably would’ve shot them, but he knew Connor hadn’t meant the book to be an insult so he simply smirked and moved it aside. When he tore open the next gift, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He held the frame carefully covered in macaroni, glue, and glitter in front of him to admire it.

“I read in my research that gifts that are made are more special to the person you are giving them to so I tried to--”

Connor’s sentence was cut short as Hank pulled him up and into a tight hug.

“Thank you..This means more to me than you probably think.” Hank mumbled, trying not to get too emotional. This specific frame reminded him of the only one his son had ever made him before the accident.

Later that night, Connor had insisted that they go caroling, wanting to experience all of Christmas. After a long hour of Connor explaining why they should go, Hank finally gave in and walked around with the android as well as his dog around the neighborhood, singing traditional Christmas songs.

For Connor’s sake, he tried not to hate it too much. Or at least, that’s what he’d say if anyone questioned him.

THE END

A/N: Thank you for reading this! It was my first attempt at writing a fanfic for DBH and I hope that I did well. Hope you enjoyed! More will be coming soon!

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dorothydelgadillo · 5 years

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"What It Will Take to Succeed With Inbound Marketing In 2019 Ft. Marcus Sheridan" (Inbound Success Ep. 72)

What is (and is not) working with inbound marketing in 2019?

Marcus Sheridan

This week on The Inbound Success Podcast, world-renowned author and keynote speaker Marcus Sheridan is kicking off our first episode of 2019 with his perspective on what it will take to succeed with inbound marketing in the year to come.

From adding video and audio to your content mix, to really owning the in-house creation of your marketing content and getting true buy-in from sales and the c-suite, he covers everything you'll need to succeed as an inbound marketer in 2019.

This week's episode of The Inbound Success Podcast is brought to you by our sponsor, IMPACT Live, the most immersive and high energy learning experience for marketers and business leaders. IMPACT Live takes place August 6-7, 2019 in Hartford Connecticut and features keynote speakers including world-renowned Facebook marketing expert Mari Smith and Drift CEO and Founder David Cancel.

Inbound Success Podcast listeners can save 10% off the price of tickets with the code "SUCCESS".

Click here to learn more or purchase tickets for IMPACT Live

Some highlights from my discussion with Marcus include:

While most marketers are talking about "authenticity" as though it is a new trend, Marcus says that to do inbound marketing well, you've always had to be authentic.

The reason that most marketers haven't been able to capture the feeling of authenticity tends to be the lack of buy-in amongst company leadership.

In 2019, we as marketers can't just answer our audience's questions in writing - we're going to have to show them (through video) and tell them (through audio).

Companies that produce their own written, video and audio content in-house will do far better in terms of ROI in 2019 than those who choose to outsource it.

The most successful companies are the ones that build a culture of inbound that supports in-house content creation.

In 2019, sales teams need to be embedded with marketing teams so that the content they create truly addresses the needs of prospects and can serve as a sales aid.

Alignment between sales, marketing, and leadership, and the buy-in for inbound marketing that results, is for the most part just as much a problem today as it was 10 years ago.

Marketers need to stop speaking like marketers and start speaking the language of sales and leadership.

One way that marketers can get more buy-in from sales or senior leadership is to use their conference and training budgets to send people in those positions to marketing conferences such as INBOUND.

The concepts behind They Ask, You Answer are just as relevant today as they were when Marcus first came up with it because great, educational content will always be a valuable sales tool and an effective way to help your leads prequalify themselves.

Self-selection and self-configuration tools will yield tremendous results for companies in 2019. HubSpot's website grader is a great example of a self-selection tool.

The best way to position your company as a leader in the year ahead is to always be asking yourself "what can we do to reduce the friction in the buying experience?"

Companies that produce two to three textual or video pieces of content a week should to start to see hockey stick growth after the first year.

Resources from this episode:

Save 10% off the price of tickets to IMPACT Live with promo code "SUCCESS"

Email Marcus Sheridan at [email protected] or [email protected]

Marcus Sheridan on Facebook

Marcus Sheridan on Twitter

Listen to the podcast to get Marcus's playbook for success with inbound marketing in 2019.

Transcript

Kathleen Booth (Host):Welcome back to the Inbound Success Podcast. I'm your host, Kathleen Booth. Today I am especially excited to announce that my guest is the one and only Marcus Sheridan. Welcome, Marcus. Marcus Sheridan (Guest): Yay. Happy to be here, Kathleen. It's going to be a great conversation, I'm sure.

Marcus and Kathleen recording this episode

Kathleen: I am so excited. This is the first episode of the Inbound Success Podcast for 2019.

Marcus: It's a good start. Let's start this party right.

Kathleen: It can't get better than that, right?

I wanted to start, really, with something big. That's why I asked you here.

About Marcus Sheridan

Kathleen: For those listening, if you've been living under a rock for the last 10 years and you don't know who Marcus Sheridan is, he is a partner at IMPACT, which is the agency I'm with. He's also the author of They Ask You Answer. He is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker on topics relating to marketing and communication. He is the principal and the founder at Marcus Sheridan International.

That is a very brief bio.

Marcus, for anybody out there who might not know who you are or those who may not know what you're doing now, could you just take a minute or two and catch everyone up?

Marcus: I'll try to do the really fast 101. The one that you didn't mention was I'm still a pool guy, too. I started out of college a swimming pool company called River Pools. Things were going okay up until the market collapse in 2008, 2009. That was when we were getting ready to lose everything and ended up embracing what we call today They Ask You Answer.

To make a long story short, it became the most trafficked swimming pool website in the world. That company really took off. It's extremely strong today. I wrote about what I was doing at River Pools, and as I wrote about that, that opened up other opportunities to speak and to do consulting.

Started an agency. It was called The Sales Lion, but we merged at the beginning of 2018 with IMPACT. That's why I'm one of the partners there.

Today, I also have Marcus Sheridan International, which to your point, that's really my speaking company, Kathleen. It's a bureau, as well. In other words, companies contact us that are having events and they're looking for particular speaker capabilities, subject matter, whatever. We're really well connected, so we recommend those. We essentially broker that.

It's a lot of fun. I like to dabble with that, which I'm passionate about. They're very diverse, too, which is interesting. A pool company, an agency, a bureau, B2Bs, B2Cs in there. It's a great sandbox to experiment with and to say, "Hey, this is what's working here. This is what's working there. This is what's not working."

Kathleen: That's what I think is so interesting about you is that you have, to me, a really different perspective on marketing and what works with marketing. I would refer to it as a human-centered perspective. I've known you for a while. I've followed you for longer than I've known you personally. I always appreciated that you're not necessarily a marketing guy.

I mean, people think of you as a marketing guy, but you're more like a guy who's trying really hard to deeply understand people and what will work when you want to communicate with or connect with people.

To me, that's the theme that underlies everything you do, but I think that's also the theme that needs to underlie marketing.

Marcus: I'm glad you've noticed that, because I think that's a really big deal. I think one of the reasons why I've been really successful speaking about marketing is because I don't speak like a marketer.

One of the biggest issues that our space has is silos that exist between sales and marketing and marketing and leadership. One of the big reasons for that is most marketers fail to instill the vision of what they're trying to do and achieve with everybody else on staff. That's because they talk about it in a way that is marketing-centric.

Me, I've always spoken the language of, foremost, the business owner that was very concerned with sales and revenue. That happens to include marketing but not the other way around. That's, I think, why They Ask You Answer resonated so well with business owners and CEOs, salespeople.

That's always my hope, Kathleen, is that I can be human-centric in the way that I talk about the thing. The moment you stop that, you start to lose certain portions of your audience.

Here's silly examples. I was a pool guy and a business owner for 10 years. I didn't know what the words B2B or B2C meant until I started going to conferences. I was a business owner. I wasn't dumb, but I had no idea what they meant. I didn't know what top, middle, bottom of the funnel necessarily meant. ToFu, MoFu, BoFu -this junk.

I hope that I never suffer so much from the curse of knowledge that I can't communicate with your average Joe or Jane business owner, CEO, whoever that is.

Kathleen: Amen. Marketers are terrible violators of the jargon and acronyms and technical word rule. We should be great communicators. I mean, that's kind of what we're taught to do if you're a trained marketer.

I've always heard people say that marketers, when they put on their marketing hat, they forget everything they know about being a human being.

Marcus: Fundamentally, we're outrageously assumptive. We assume that people understand us, our products, our services, our lingo.

You see this a lot with just content marketing in general. I'm constantly reading stuff, I'm like, "They actually think I know what they're talking about right now, and I don't."

One of the industries that I think is the worst at this that I've messed around a little bit with is the big data industry. You find somebody out there that can define big data in a way that the common man or woman understands it, they're going to be rich. Let me tell you, these big data companies, they can't articulate what they do. They can't articulate the problem they solve.

Because of that, if you ask somebody, "What is all this big data stuff about?" they say, "I don't really know." Unless they're in the field, they don't actually know.

Kathleen: I would tend to agree. I mean, it's interesting. As somebody who's been in agencies for a long time, you work with people in lots of different industries. I have found that it's the more technically complex industries that have a harder time communicating, 'cause they fall back on industry jargon. I worked with a lot of cybersecurity companies, and they couldn't get out of their own way talking about what they did.

Marcus: That's correct.

Kathleen: That's often why they need to bring in outsiders to help them with their messaging. It's easier to come in as somebody who knows nothing and be like, "Talk to me about what you do. If you can make me understand it as your marketer or as your consultant, then I can make anybody else understand it."

Marcus: Our good friend Ian Altman talks about this. You always start not with what you do but the problems you solve. If especially every B2B company replaced solutions in their navigation bar in their website and replaced that with problems you solve, you would see there would be this drastic, dramatic difference in how often those particular pages were frequented.

I mean, fundamentally, what the buyer needs to do, the prospect, they need to be able to nod their head and they say, "Okay, now I get it. Ah, that's me. That's exactly what I'm experiencing. That's what I'm going through right now."

Unless it's stated that way, it's not good.

Kathleen: Now, you've been preaching about problems they solve for a long time. I'm not sure that'll ever change, 'cause that, again, speaks to the fundamental human need and the way we connect and communicate and comprehend.

What Is (And Is Not) Working With Inbound Marketing in 2019

Kathleen: I want to take a step back. The big reason I wanted to talk to you for my first episode of 2019 was that, since I've been involved in inbound marketing, even since I've been doing this podcast ... by the time this goes live, I'll have done probably 75 episodes. Even in just that short amount of time, so much has changed in the world of inbound marketing.

The podcast is about inbound. Most of my listeners listen because they're interested in inbound marketing.

When I first created this podcast, it was really to scratch an itch that I had, which was you hear these stories of people who are getting amazing results and doing great things. I really wanted to be able to find out what exactly are they doing to get those results in a way that felt very actionable.

Normally, when I interview people, we talk about what's a specific strategy or a specific tactic you're doing, or tell me about a campaign. We're not going to do that today.

What I wanted to talk with you about is, looking back at the evolution of the field of inbound marketing, if we can even call it a field, when it first became a thing, there was very much a formulaic approach to it.

HubSpot drove that. They invented the term. They came up with a methodology that was driven by their product, and all of that has evolved over time. In a lot of ways, it's still very driven by HubSpot's product and the need to promote the use of that.

To step outside of that product-driven world, I'd love to ... this is going to be a big question that I'll throw out and then we can drill down. I'd love to find out from your standpoint with inbound marketing, with where we are today in the world we live in now, what is still working from that original philosophy or approach?

What are the timeless elements? What's not working, and what do you think is going to be needed to really knock it out of the park? Let's just talk about 2019, 'cause I can't even forecast what's going to happen in 2020. Who knows? There could be robots that rule the world by that point.

Marcus: You're exactly right. What is still working ... I think to answer that question, you have to look at principles. The beauty behind principles is they're timeless and they should, hypothetically, always be working.

It's funny to me that all of the sudden you hear more and more people talking about trust, authenticity, and transparency. It's like, "Guys, this is not new."

The idea authenticity's the big thing in 2019 ... seriously? If we've been doing this the right way, since even when HubSpot was started ... the whole premise behind They Ask You Answer is an obsession with the way buyers think and the willingness to address exactly what that thought is.

Sometimes the thought is a question, and that question could be good, bad, or ugly. Usually, when we're willing to address the bad and the ugly, that's when people call us authentic. That should have been happening for a while now.

Now, the reason why it didn't happen for many is because of the buy-in issues and the lack of implementation across the board, the vision, lack thereof, from leaders of organizations.

One thing that is working just as well today as it was when I got on HubSpot in 2009 is the idea of truly obsessing over your customers' questions. I'm talking about the difficult ones. And the willingness to address them well.

Now, how that's evolved, though, is the way that we address it.

Maybe now we're saying we can't just write it. We've got to also show it through video and not just say it. We've got to eventually give them the ability to listen to it. We're talking about voice here, which I don't think is the major 2019 play. I think voice, although I'm working on it right now ... I just had a River Pools skill developed for Alexa that's very good. You're going to see it here soon, Kathleen.

Kathleen: I can't wait to test it out.

Marcus: It's really neat. It'll have a full fiberglass swimming pool conversation with you. I'm only doing that now not because I think I'm going to need it in 2019, but I think I'm going to need it in 2020.

I think this authenticity thing ... it bugs me a bit, because that's been working for a long time now. What doesn't work in conjunction with content while we talk about that is we've known for a while that quality was important, but I think it's really starting ... how long have people been outsourcing content and getting results?

Now you see fewer and fewer companies outsourcing content and getting results. Of course, the question is why? Because A) it's not authentic, B) it doesn't truly represent the soul of your business, C) it usually isn't qualitative enough to truly answer the question well, whatever it is, in an expert-like way where the reader, the viewer, the listener can say, "Okay, I get it. Now I understand."

What we're seeing here, we've seen this at IMPACT tremendously, is that when companies take ownership of the thing, the skill -- in this case, that might be producing the textual content or producing the videos in-house , even though often times there's a bit of a learning curve, embrace the messy that comes with that at first -- they end up catapulting way beyond those that outsource those six videos a year to some video production company or outsource a blog post every week to a ghost writer.

Which, come on. If the ghost writer's any good, they've got to interview all your SMEs, your subject matter experts, anyway. It's essentially like you're doing it in-house.

You can't escape it anymore. You can't do this half-cocked, like, "Let's just dip our toes."

Sometimes companies come to me, Kathleen, and say, "I just want to dip our toes in the water." I think you could probably do that a little bit before. You can't dip your toes in content and be really successful. You either play hard or you just don't play.

Just do something different. You know what I'm saying?

Kathleen: I couldn't agree more. Like I said, I've been in the agency world for a long time and have played around with different solutions to the content question. When I had my own agency, a lot of our clients didn't want to write their own content. In the beginning, we were trying to just purely outsource it. We would have an insurance agency that wanted us to do blogs and they'd say, "We need blogs on these ten topics." We'd find a writer and that writer would write them.

They were fine, but to be perfectly honest, if a writer is writing a blog on 10 things you should know before you buy car insurance and they're not an insurance expert, what are they doing? They're going out and they're Googling.

They're finding 10 other blogs with the answer, and they're basically just rewriting what's already in existence.

It doesn't add any value. The only way you can add value is if you are delivering something unique, original, different. That can either be factual information. It can be a point of view. It can be an analysis, what have you. I completely agree.

The only time we only had success with creating content for clients was exactly what you described. We had the amazing Liz Murphy, who is now with IMPACT today, who figured out this methodology of doing phone interviews with our client subject matter experts. 15 minutes per article.

She would just extract all the knowledge out of their brain, turn it in into an article. She'd still have to send it back to them and they'd still have to be a part of the process.

Would it be better if they wrote it themselves? Absolutely. At that time, that was the most we could get them to do. The difference in the results was dramatic between that and the alternative.

Marcus: There's a definitive profile of the companies we've seen with world-class digital inbound marketing case studies versus the ones that have not. Almost every single time, it comes back to ownership. What can they do, what can they produce themselves?

This is why at IMPACT we've been shifting the traditional way, which is do it for you, versus walk with you, grab your hand and walk down that trail together.

I've seen time and time again, if a company hires a videographer, that's usually not enough, because that videographer, they might know video, but they don't yet know how to create sales, marketing, and customer experience videos. That's different. They don't know sales and marketing strategy.

If they have somebody that teaches them that ... the good thing is it doesn't take a lifetime to learn that. Within a certain period of time, you can take that person that just knew how to do video and create documentaries or create films and truly turn them into someone that understands what the visual sale looks like.

Now, the whole company can have a culture of video in-house. I think that idea of having a culture of inbound in-house, a culture of video in-house, a culture of content, of teachers in-house -- I think that this is a principle. I think that is not going to go away for a while. There's a very strong decade of this.

I know AI's going to play with all this stuff, but AI, what they won't do, is they're not going to be able to replicate the videos that I'm doing right now. There's something about those that is extremely human that resonates with the marketplace.

Instead of worrying about that, we've got to establish ourselves. Are we learning how to do these things in-house as organizations? Are we eliminating the silos? Does the sales team realize they're a part of marketing?

I think, before, marketing could be on an island in 2009, Kathleen. I don't think marketing can be on an island today. I don't think they can have great success if they're not embedded with the sales team.

If the sales team and the other subject matter experts aren't at least involved somewhat, some way, shape, or form in the content production process, I would argue that it's almost impossible for it to fly big at this point in time.

Kathleen: It's really interesting that you just said that, 'cause when I was listening to you talk about having a culture of inbound, a culture of content, a culture of video, in my head I was picturing somebody listening to this podcast, and most of my listeners tend to be marketers, and picturing them having a panic attack.

Many of the marketers I've spoken to I think would love to have more company-wide alignment or support around what they do, but I feel like a lot of them either don't know how to get it, are afraid to ask for it, or in some cases --and I have had clients tell me this --I have had clients say, "I don't want to open up that can of worms. I don't want to have the attention that that would bring."

There's a real fear within marketers of that kind of change. How do you navigate that process? I mean, you've worked with a lot of companies on this-

Marcus: The problem is marketers have to understand just a few realities. One of the biggest realities is that if you have a CFO, if you have somebody that's paying the bills, unless you can really start to prove that you're driving revenue for the company, you're always going to be underpaid, underappreciated, and not really listened to, which is frustrating, but it's true.

What has not improved at nearly the rate that it should have is this alignment between sales, marketing, and leadership. That has not happened over the course of what is now for me about 10 years of being in this space.

Buy-in for the most part is just as much a problem today as it was 10 years ago.

Kathleen: Why do you think that is?

Marcus: There's a multiplicity of reasons. Let me break them down, a few of them, for you.

The first one was our original conversation on this call: marketers need to stop speaking like marketers and start speaking the language of sales and leadership. That's major.

Number two. You go to an event like INBOUND or any of these other events, 90% of the room is still marketers. Then you have a handful of salespeople and leadership. More often than not what happens is they get fired up at INBOUND, they get a ton of ideas, they go back to the office on Monday, and everybody rains on their parade, because they weren't there.

The reason why leadership so often pushes back, it's not because they're a stick in the mud. It's because they're ignorant of the thing. I don't say that in a bad way. It's just truth.

Because they're ignorant of it, they say things like, "I don't have the time," or, "No, I just don't think that's in the budget right now."

The reason why we say things like time and budget has nothing to do with time and almost never budget, but it's always because, "I don't value it like you do."

Why don't they, Kathleen? Because they haven't been educated nearly well enough yet. It is still the fundamental problem in this entire inbound space. That's why marketers have to be obsessing over that.

Sometimes I've had marketers tell me this before. I'm like, "When's the last time you went to leadership and said, 'You know what? You gave me a $2,500 education budget this year. I would like to give you, Mr. or Ms. CEO, my ticket to INBOUND. Would you be willing to go in my place? I will stay here and man the fort. Your vision for what I'm doing is more important than me going there and hearing about all of which I already know'?"

We don't do that. We don't send the sales manager. We don't give up our budget, either, do we? We keep going to INBOUND. We keep going to Content Marketing World or maybe even IMPACT Live, which is really where you need to be going the most. This is what we're not doing. This is what we've got to change. Those are the two biggest reasons.

Inbound Success Podcast listeners can save 10% off the price of tickets to IMPACT Live using the code "SUCCESS"

Click here to learn more about IMPACT Live or purchase tickets now

Kathleen: It's interesting. I don't often talk about IMPACT on the podcast on purpose. It's not about the company. It's about inbound marketing.

I will interject and say that we have this conference in August and we just this year launched this package for teams because of this kind of thing.

We really believe you should come with your group of people from your company and experience something together so that you leave and you're charged up and you're excited and you're all on the same page.

Marcus: Do you know how many times I have talked to a salesperson at an event and they will say things like, "I finally get it. I finally understand"?

It's so sad. Think about how many frustrated marketers are listening to this right now, Kathleen.

I would say there's a third reason, too, of this buy-in issue. It goes back to education. As I've stated before at times in different places, the number one email that I've gotten over the course of these almost 10 years is ... it's not from business owners saying, "We need more traffic, leads, and sales." It's number two.

The number one, "Marcus, I'm a marketer. I'm frustrated. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm alone, of having to scratch and claw for anything to get approved. I'm almost ready to leave my company."

I've seen so many leave, Kathleen.

Now, part of this, and this is the third part, is that when we start these digital campaigns, what does the start look like?

In other words, let's say you've been doing inbound for a while and I went to your sales team right now and I said to them, "How come we're producing all this content?" More often than not, they wouldn't know. They wouldn't have an answer.

That's the problem. That denotes that there is a serious issue. We got to fix that. I've taught so many workshops. The marketers are the ones that call me initially and I say, "Look. You don't need to be at the workshop. I don't care if you're there, 'cause you're already all in. Your sales team has to be there. If they're not there, I'm not going to show up, because everything starts and stops with them anyway."

Kathleen: You're really good, I will say, at holding people's feet to the fire about that kind of thing.

Marcus: Because I'm willing to go through the pain on the front end so that we can have the pleasure on the rear. The issue is we're too afraid, often times, to address this ugly reality on the front end. Then we wonder, "Why didn't the campaign work? Why did we get the pushback? Why so many obstacles? Why so much red tape?"

I just had a company a few days ago call me. Hundreds of employees. They're a pharma company. They're like, "Marcus, regulation is making this impossible."

I said, "Well, okay. Regulation is potentially a problem in healthcare. But the fact is, do you have somebody in leadership that is an advocate and that can go to that department and can talk with them about what is and is not kosher and can ensure that those that are dealing with the regs, that they catch the vision that is digital sales and marketing for your organization?" "No we don't have that person yet." Of course then you're getting pushback.

All they're hearing is somebody in marketing tell them, "Hey, we need this approved." Leadership's not saying, "We need this approved."

That's why it happens. We have to do the hard stuff on the front end to experience the pleasure later.

Kathleen: One issue is absolutely buy-in and getting buy-in from the top to the bottom, from the left to the right, all through the organization. Let's say the organization has buy-in and they agree they want to move forward, they want to produce their content, they're going to embrace this approach.

You wrote They Ask You Answer, which is very much a blueprint for how you should tackle content creation. Is it still applicable today? I mean, are we in a world where everybody's already doing They Ask You Answer, or is there still room?

Marcus: Often times people say, "My industry, Marcus, is so saturated. How could we ever find success with so much saturation?" That's because, again, they're looking at it as a marketing play.

Let's turn this around for a second, Kathleen. Let's say that you produced a video that's specific to addressing some of the major questions your sales team's getting all the time and dealing with all the time. Let's say that video never ever gets watched on YouTube, ever.

At the same time, let's say that the sales team gets it and they immediately integrate it in the sales process. They use it to send to the client before they have the first sales call. Because the client often times does watch it, now they spend less time on the first sales time, because they're way more educated, they've heard the company doctrine on these major questions that are asked, and now the conversation is less teaching, more selling.

The sales team loves it. Was it a successful video?

Another scenario. Let's say that you have this whole plethora of questions, fears, worries, concerns, et cetera addressed on your website. Let's say none of these articles or videos have ever produced a single organic lead from search. But let's say, because of that, now when anybody comes to the site from pay per click, their user experience is so much better that your conversion rates go up there.

Let's say now whenever anybody comes to your site from social, all of which that content you were using on social in the first place, when they come as a referral from social, now the user experience is so much better they say, "These guys are different. I trust them. I'm going to contact them."

Or, let's say that it's a referral. Still to this day, even if it's a word of mouth referral, they're still going to vet you first on the site probably before they call.

When they come to the site, are they going to feel different? Are they going to be satiated?

You see, we overestimate the quality of the content in the messaging of our competitors. Everybody does this bad. There's still a bunch of blue oceans. Even if the textual content is saturated in your space --and I still believe that we should produce that, because it's rare that that's the case --the video content in most industries is still wide stinking open.

There's the final element to this, Kathleen. Let's say your marketing team never benefits from it, your sales team never benefits from it from a straight sales standpoint. Is it worth it?

There's this thing that happens when you produce content that nobody seems to talk about. You know this as a writer, as a content producer. You start to figure out what you're trying to say and you figure out what your opinion, what your doctrine, what your philosophy is on that subject.

When you do this as a company, it forces you to take a stand. When you do this now, this will become the training manual for any new employee that ever comes on, any sales person that ever comes on and says, "How do we approach this question? How do we feel about this?"

The answers are already there. That's why this is so relevant. I think that's going to maintain itself for quite a while, regardless of how much saturation is out there.

Now, there is a level up, though, Kathleen. It used to be that we might just say, "What is the best swimming pool?" That might have been the question before, but now we're getting more specific, like, "What is the best type of swimming pool for me?" This is why one of the big focus areas that I think we should all have that is just rife with opportunity, I mean, just so heavy of opportunity right now in 2019 and beyond is the trend of self-selection and self-configuration.

In other words, let's say you came to the River Pools website right now. Let's say you didn't have any idea what type of pool you want. "Do I want an in-ground pool? Do I want an above ground pool? If I do want an in-ground pool, should it be concrete, should it be vinyl-lined, or should it be fiberglass?"

Is there an unbiased tool that you could walk through that would ask you a series of questions and be interactive that would essentially give you some type of output in the end that would say, "Okay, Kathleen. Based on what you just said, it sounds like a concrete pool or a fiberglass pool or an above ground pool is the right choice for you."

These interactive styles of self-selection and self-configuration, they are so monumental. So few companies are doing them at all right now, Kathleen. This is the level up of what you and I might call traditional content marketing.

Kathleen: It's interesting. I've had some experiences with those kinds of tools. Now as I tell this story, I'm totally going to out myself and my age range. My experience with self-configuration tools was when I first noticed I was getting some little gray hairs on my head.

Marcus: That happens to all of us at that 40-ish age.

Kathleen: I was like, "Okay, got to cover those up." I don't know. I'm not somebody who spends a lot of money on salons and things.

Funny enough, I heard about this hair color company through the TechCrunch blog. This is how much of a geek I am. They were talking about how this company was really upending the model of hair color. It's called Madison Reed.

I was like, "If TechCrunch thinks this company is cool, I'm going to check them out instead of going to CVS and trying to find a box of hair color on the shelf."

I got to the website and it's exactly what you described. It was like, "What is your natural hair color?" I said brown. "Is it more reddish brown, blondish brown?" Blondish brown. "Has it been colored before? How much gray do you have? How long is it? How curly is it?"

All these questions and then it basically said, "Here is the perfect color for you. By the way, if this doesn't look perfect, here are the next three if you want to see what those look like."

I became a customer. Not only did I become a customer, but they're so smart, they have a subscription plan. Now it's on a "set it and forget it" thing where it comes to my house every few weeks.

That's amazing. I don't even have to think about it any more, and they've got a customer for life.

Marcus: You've got to send me that link, by the way. I want to see that. I'd like to do that myself.

Kathleen: You've got some grays you want to cover?

Marcus: I'm so fascinated with self-configuration right now. We've been working with it at River Pools.

To give people an idea, we've got one at River Pools we're developing that is, what is the best shape and size for me for my swimming pool? The other one is, what is the best type of swimming pool for me?

The best type of swimming pool for me is the most top of the funnel. What is the right shape and size for me is lower in the funnel. How much is my fiberglass swimming pool going to cost, that's even lower in the funnel.

I'm trying to develop a perfect pricing tool. It's never been developed in our industry before. I want people to be able to get close numbers even before they talk to a sales person.

Again, a lot of people think that's crazy. If you've read They Ask You Answer, you know how this works, you know how applicable it is, whether it's B2B or B2C. Those two examples we just used now were both B2C, but this is relevant in the B2B space as anything.

Everybody should be thinking about self-configuration right now. I think that's a major that we all need to be upping our game with as we go forward.

Kathleen: It'll be fun to see what you come up with there, 'cause there are a couple of examples that I can think of of companies that have done the pricing part really well with complex things.

For example, there's window treatment companies where you put in the exact size of your window and the fabric you want and this and that. It's complex, but I'll tell you, I only order from companies like that, 'cause I don't want to go into the store. It works.

Marcus: How would I set this up? If somebody contacts you right now, a legitimate prospect, what are all the questions that sales consultant is already asking?

If you talk to a sales consultant about your hair, every single one of those that you mentioned, that's what they would have said.

The beauty behind this, it's dramatically more efficient and it induces a friction-free buying experience.

If our guide, as we go forward 2019 and beyond, is we say, "Is there anything I can do that lessens the friction?" There's a very good chance that that means your leader of your space, because antiquated, traditional thinking generally is very friction-based. It's the opposite of today's buyer.

Most swimming pool companies would say, "We could never give pricing, period. We can't talk about pricing."

Everybody knows for years I've been talking about pricing. I've been giving ranges of pricing. I've been talking about all the factors of pricing, but now I'm trying to give actual prices as close as possible.

We've already got a little bit of this developed on the site. It's a lead generating machine already. I mean, it's really, really beautiful, this pricing tool that we have.

Anybody can set this up, regardless of what you are. B2B, B2C, service product, big, small, local, national. This is the mindset that we have to have.

Let's make it easier on the buyer. Let's see if we can mimic or replicate the in-real-life sales experience. Can we replicate that online through the digital experience?

If you can do the self-configuration combined with beautiful video explanations of that thing ... one of the issues, Kathleen, is whenever you do these types of self-configuration tools, inevitably, again, because the curse of knowledge, the company will ask you a question that you don't know.

For example, if I'm a pool guy and I say, "Do you think you want a heat pump or a gas heater with your swimming pool?" most people have no idea. You don't know that.

Kathleen: No. I would have no idea.

Marcus: If I can have an explanation, especially if it's a video explanation, now that you can just quickly click and say, "Here's where you would want to fall. Here's the pros and cons of each one. Hopefully that helps you decide which is the best for you." That allows you say, "Okay, perfect."

If you're a consultant, this is the same thing. Every consultant in the B2B space asks a series of questions to their prospects. Can we handle that on the front end?

One of the things that we're trying to develop at IMPACT right now that Bob and I are talking a lot about is we constantly assess these companies and we let them know where are they from a digital perspective, what's their impediments and all these things. Can we replicate that on the front end?

The most forward-thinking on this was Dharmesh with Website Grader in 2007-8 time period. When he came out with that, that was so stupidly ahead of his time. It was genius.

That was the catalyst for me. That was the great motivator for me. The first time I took that, which is essentially ... it was a self-assessment tool. That's all that was. I got a 37 out of 100, and I said, "Bull. That's not me. I'm not a 37 out of 100. I'm going to show you wrong, Website Grader." Then I went on this glorious journey. Of course-

Kathleen: Boy, did you show it wrong.

Marcus: It's what propelled me. It gave me that drive. I could keep going back and saying, "Okay, now it's at a 42. Now it's at a 49. Now it's at a 75."

Kathleen: In my mind, when I hear you talking about all this, I feel like how I know this is possible is that if there was ever an industry that was unnecessarily overcomplicated in terms of the research and the purchasing process, it was cars.

I've heard you talk a lot about CarMax. To me, there's even a leader further ahead of CarMax now, which is Carvana. You can buy your stinking car out of the vending machine with Carvana. They literally have car vending machines.

Marcus: That's correct. Usually, the leader of the previous generation is slowest to adopt the next one.

What happened was most of the successful used car dealers said things like, "There's no way we could ever offer a five-day money-back guarantee. There's no way that we could have this intensive inspection process, which would essentially eliminate the possibility of selling any lemons to the marketplace. There's no way we could do all these things to eliminate the fears of buying a used car."

CarMax came in, turned the industry on its head, and did that.

But CarMax is going to get replaced by the Carvanas, the TrueCars of the world, because they're making it even more friction free.

If we're not looking to replace ourselves and our business model and the way that we do it, then there's a good chance we're off.

When I started They Ask You Answer, Kathleen, I really thought it was a blogging strategy. This is why when you talk about something, you learn what you're trying to say. You just discover it over time. It's a fluid experience.

They Ask You Answer became that, but it became an obsession with the way buyers think and the willingness to evolve with said buyer. If a company's embracing They Ask You Answer, they don't make statements like, "I don't watch videos, so why in the heck would we create them for our customers?"

It's like, our opinions don't matter. They don't mean jack squat. The only thing that matters is, what does the marketplace want?

They Ask You Answer is basically saying, "People would like to buy it like this. I know it's never been sold like that in our industry before. Let's just strip out all the rules, all the regs. Is it possible that it was sold that way?" That's when you have entire industries flipped on their head.

We're seeing it over and over again. It's such a fun time to be alive if you're the type of person that likes to fill in outside of the circle, because that means you're willing to break the rules. You just don't have these confines, these parameters that everybody else has. You say, "Why not? I mean, of course we could do that."

Kathleen: So many interesting things here. We've got self-configuration tools. We've got creating your own content. We've got taking They Ask You Answer approach. We've got using video to show and not just tell.

For the companies that you have worked with on this and the companies that are doing it right ... I know that you work with a wide range of companies. They're not always the sexy disrupters of their industry like a Carvana. Some of them are a plumber-

Marcus: I love unsexy, nerdy, just stuff that you would traditionally think, "They couldn't do this," and they end up killing it.

What Does Inbound Success Look Like in 2019?

Kathleen: That's what I was going to say. In today's world, when you say killing it ... if somebody's listening and they're thinking, "Alright. I could maybe try this approach," what kinds of results should they expect and what does killing it mean these days?

Is it a nice 5% increase every month over time? Can you still hockey stick? What does success look like?

Marcus: We see lots of hockey stick growth when it comes to traffic, leads and sales.

When I really started teaching They Ask You Answer, I didn't necessarily know what were the major bullet points of success in all of these most successful organizations, 'cause I didn't have enough case studies yet. I had River. That's all I really had.

Came to realize there is a few essentials that you got to do, that you've got to have. If you have these essentials, there's a good chance you're going to see that growth.

First essential is you've got to have buy-in from top to bottom. It's just absolute.

Number two, you have to look at this as a long-term play, which mean there's continual updates, education, and awareness about how the program's working, what's happening, everybody knows. Again, it's not a program; it's culture.

Number three, that you have owners, specifically of textual content, of video content. Everything has an owner. Unless there's an owner that's not wearing a thousand other hats, generally it's not going to fly.

Number four, that it's accepted that everybody has to participate. It's almost like part of the job description. They don't say, "Well, it would be nice." They just do it. It's just what they do. Again, not utopia always. It's just something that we do, we know it's part of the deal. You do certain things with your job you don't love, Kathleen, but you do it because it's just part of the deal. You don't miss it. You don't stop it. It's just who you are.

Then the fifth one is they measure everything that they possibly can. That way, they're not having conversations like, "Did this really work?" They're saying, "We spent this much money on a content manager, on a videographer in-house, but we can definitively track that we have generated this much more traffic, this many more leads, and this much more revenue in this process."

There's others we could add in there, one of which would be clearly that the sales team obsessively integrates content into the sales process as much as possible. That they're always looking for ways to do this.

Somebody might listen to this and say, "Well, we're e-commerce. We don't have a sales team." Yeah, you do. The page is your sales team. Are you integrating content so well into that page that the person says, "Every single question I had about that particular product has now been resolved. I'm ready to click the buy button"? Are we doing these things?

We still consistently see, when they do this right, amazing growth, but you've got to be qualitative and quantitative.

For a long time, there was this dumb debate of, "Should I focus on quality, or should I focus on quantity?" Well, you've got to do both. That's just the truth.

I mean, you can't do one great blog article a month and expect to see hockey stick growth. Generally, that's never going to occur unless you already have some established audience. If Oprah started a blog, she's probably going to get great growth at once a month.

We're not Oprah. We can't do that. We continue to see the pattern of great success when you start something is two to three pieces of content a week on that thing.

In other words, for most companies, if they're producing two to three textual pieces of content a week, they're going to start to see hockey stick growth after the first year. Same thing with video.

What happens is it becomes habit at two to three a week. It just becomes who you are as a company. At two to three a week, you've got to have owners, you see what I mean? Because you have owners, it's like everything is self-fulfilling and self-perpetuating.

This is the pattern that we've seen time and time again. It's fun to watch it. It's really, really neat.

They are obsessed about the continual education and they'll add something each year. Maybe they're crushing it with the textual content, they're crushing it with the video. Now they add chat and they want to become the best at chat.

Don't try to be great at all these things. Most of the companies don't try to be great at all social media platforms. They recognize if you try to be a jack of all social media trades, you're going end up being a master of none. You're way better off just focusing and being a master of one.

This is how it works. You knock out one at a time and you grow that way.

The last thing I'll say about this, every company that's been obsessive about They Ask You Answer since the beginning has done everything that Google says today that they want you to do.

They were never afraid of a single algorithmic change, because this was a long-term solution to a long-term problem, which is search. Search is a long-term problem.

Google's obsession, "Give it to them as quickly as I can. Make it as relevant as possible. Make sure it's the best, most qualitative answer they could possibly get." Anything that doesn't align with that is a short-term solution.

Vanity link building that got many people penalized these last few years, that was doing a deal with the devil, Kathleen. It came back to bite so many people.

Those that were just doing it right and obsessing over the quality and the quantity component, they're the ones now that own the industry. I

MPACT is one of those. 600,000 visitors a month of traffic is a big deal for any agency. The reason why that happens, it's been a long-term play. We ain't out there asking people for their links, though, I'll tell you that.

Kathleen: Definitely not. I'm not sure I would enjoy my job very much if that's what it involved. It's like the cold-calling of marketing.

Well, you just did a great job of bringing us full circle. I started this conversation talking about how I feel like you've always been somebody who's less focused on how to do marketing and more focused on how to make that human-to-human connection.

I think what you closed with, at least the way I heard it was, when you're solving for search engines, the best approach is also to solve for humans, because that's ultimately what the search engines want to solve for.

Marcus: They're completely aligned.

Kathleen: At the end of the day, all the latest, greatest tactics of marketing don't mean anything if they're not solving for people.

Marcus: It's our moral compass. That's always going to bring us back where we need to go. Not to make this about They Ask You Answer, but I'm trying to show the principle here. Whenever we would have a debate about a piece of content, we would say, "Do our customers really want and need to know?" If the answer was yes, we said, "Okay, we're going to talk about it."

Kathleen: I love it.

Marcus: It always worked.

Kathleen: Awesome. Well, I'm going to have extensive show notes on everything that you shared. If somebody was listening and they want to have this, essentially which is a playbook for 2019, they can find it in the show notes.

How to Reach Marcus Sheridan

Kathleen: We need to close, because I could talk to you forever, but you don't have forever to talk to me. If somebody's listening and they want to learn more, they want to contact you, they want to ask you a question, what's the best way for them to find you online?

Marcus: You can still find me at TheSalesLion on the Twitters. You can find me at Facebook. I'm public there. You can email me. An easy one to remember is [email protected] or [email protected]. Either one works.

Hit me up, folks. I love the personal contact.

Kathleen, otherwise, this was a pleasure. Hopefully, we delivered a few nuggets today that are going to help those wonderful listeners of yours tomorrow.

Kathleen: Absolutely. My one ask to anyone listening is if you do any of this and you see success with it, let me know. I would love to share your story. Maybe you could be somebody that I interview in 2019 about your inbound success.

That's it for today. Thank you for listening. Happy New Year. Thank you, Marcus, for joining us and sharing all of your wisdom.

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from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/succeed-with-inbound-marketing-2019-marcus-sheridan

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