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maxislvt · 1 year

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Home For The Holidays

Summary: Christmas can bring anyone together if you try hard enough

Warnings: None because this is gay

A/N: More so bonding with the boys than anything this one but I love this family dynamic so much. If you complain, you are ableist and hat autistic people!!! (kidding)

Event Masterlist

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Holiday cheer was important for Wanda. Especially when it was her turn to watch over boys, Christmas this year had been met with an odd bump in the road. Wanda had a new partner and this was the first holiday you'd actually have to spend with the kids. A few hours or in passing was fine, but Wanda had yet to learn how well you'd do with them the entire break. Wanda spent weeks trying to find something you and her boys had in common. After enough snooping and nervousness, she settled on a simple advent calendar. Sure it was a bit childish, but Wanda was at the end of her rope.

When she placed the calendar on the dinner table, there wasn't as much immediate excitement as she wanted. The embarrassment had almost completely taken over before she could even explain herself. "I mean, we don't have to do it if you don't want to. I just thought it'd be something nice to do…" Your partner began to fidget and doubt quickly fell over her face. "You know, as a…family."

A lightbulb immediately went off over your head. "Oh, babe, of course, we'll do this! Right?" You subtly tried looking over to the boys for confirmation that they'd at least play alone. Instead, you got something much better. Two sets of eyes were wide and bubbling with excitement underneath them. "This thing is huge! There's no way we won't have fun with it."

Tommy nodded along. "Yeah, that's at least enough Legos to last two weeks!" He reached for the box only to have his mother snatch it away."I won't build them all by myself! I know how to share Legos now!"

Billy practically threw himself over the table to reach the box. "Yeah, we promise to be fair!" His little hands wiggled and made grabby hands at the box. "No one's gonna be left out, we promise!"

Wanda shook her head. The gitters finally faded and she realized she had bigger issues. Her children were horribly impatient. "No, we'll open it one box at a time until Christmas. Then you guys can put these wherever you want on Christmas day." She laughed at the disappointed groans from the three of you. "It's only 24 days, that's better than the new year's one."

You cleared your throat and sat upright. "Your mom's right. It's more satisfying if you do it the right way. Despite your attempts at seeming like a responsible, well-rounded adult, you were clearly just as unhinged about the calendar as the boys were. "The excitement of a new set will last you all day anyways."

The boys looked at each other and simply shook their heads.

The days until Christmas ticked by and you and the twins were having an incredibly difficult time practicing self-control. Every day without fail, you or the twins would be caught staring too long for Wanda's comfort and be pulled away from the calendar before you ruined the Christmas spirit.

It only lasted a week before the twins gave up and ran to you with a plan that would surely get you nothing but coal for Christmas. You tried deterring them and their sticky fingers. However, you were easily swayed. Partly because you were just as impatient as the boys, but because you got something much more important in the process.

The twins were opening up to you. They led you to a room filled with Lego sets and books of all kinds.

"Holy sh- crap. How long did it take you guys to put all these together?" You looked down at the Lego city in awe. Trains, buses, and all kinds of shops. Almost all the space on the base plate had been taken up. "Wow, this really is something, but why do you want to break into the calendar if you have all this stuff ?"

"Because we don't have any people," Tommy exasperated. He grabbed your hand and pointed to all the small chairs and seats in cars with no tiny brick people to occupy them. "It's like a ghost town, but we know all the people are in the box!"

Billy nodded. "Even if there isn't, they'll be cool Christmas decorations and that'll make it look less dead!" The boy grabbed your other hand and hovered over their miniature city with you. "We can just open them to plan and sneak them back in every day! Mom wouldn't even notice if we're quiet."

You scratched the back of your head. Wanda would probably kill you for encouraging such naughty behavior, but bonding with your stepkids was important. "Alright I'm in, but not tonight. We have dinner with your uncle and he's really bad at hiding stuff from your mom."

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The next night, the plan had gone into motion. Once your beloved partner had fallen asleep, you snuck out the bed and woke up the boys as gently as you could. Billy hadn't even fallen asleep, but Tommy was like a rock at the bottom of the ocean. After enough poking and shaking, he'd awoken and the rest of your plan went smoothly.

You three tiptoed past Wanda's room and down the stairs where your treasure awaited.

"Okay, we're just going to look so we can figure out where you guys are gonna put everything." That sentiment had lasted all of a minute after you opened the first box of the night. "Awe, it's a little Christmas tree and a lumberjack!" Without even thinking, you opened the plastic packaging and began putting it together. The boys couldn't stop themselves either.

The entire calendar had been completed without noticing. It had started a Lego frenzy almost. Instead of feeling regret for your lack of self-control, you just kept going. The twins had given life to their Lego city, but the work was far from over.

"You can help us build the train we got last week! Dad gave it to us as an early Christmas gift." Billy opened a drawer. "We kinda already started it, but we didn't think you'd wanna help."

"Dude, are you kidding me? I'd love to help with this!" Your excited shout was quickly followed by a knock on the door frame.

"Well, too bad you'll be in the naughty list jail for the rest of the year," Wanda's raspy morning voice filled the room and marked the end of your Christmas heist. "You boys better get snuggled in bed before I call back up!" She pointed at her children who quickly ran off to their rooms to avoid her Christmas-themed wrath. "I expected this from them, but you? Really?"

You turned back around with a nervous smile on your face. "At least we're bonding?" You held up a piece of the train you were working on, hoping it would lessen your jail sentence. "They're even letting me help, it was a necessary misbehavior!"

Wanda sighed and crossed her arms. "Get in bed and then I'll think about reducing your sentence." Her voice was stern, but the smile on her face showed how happy she was.

You smiled and kissed her cheek. "Fine, just don't make me shovel the driveway alone, again."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda fluff #panther's 12 days of christmas

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erinelliotc · 5 months

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Your history with Ed, Edd and Eddy

Hello! I'm so glad to receive my first message! I'll start apologizing in advance for my English grammatical mistakes since English isn't my first language, but I'll try my best :)

Well, Ed, Edd n Eddy is my favorite childhood cartoon! And I think it's my biggest special interest. It's been part of my life since an early age. It's hard to say precisely how old I started watching it because I don't know when I started picking out the channels I watched as a kid, but I think I started watching Cartoon Network somewhere between 2005-2007, when I was 5-7 years old (I'm a 2000s kid!). I've watched a lot of cartoons, but none of them give me that feeling of warmth and comfort Ed, Edd n Eddy does. It's hard to explain but I just love this show with all my heart and soul, it makes me so happy and excited. It's so silly, random and funny, it's everything my autistic little brain wanted and needed. Double D has always been my favorite Ed and today I can affirm without a shadow of a doubt that he's my favorite character of all time and probably the one I identify with the most. I wouldn't be surprised if I turned out to be the way I am today because of his influence.

[EDIT] I'm editing this to add something very important! I forgot to mention that I played "To The Eds-Treme" a lot when I was a kid!

If you don't know, it was a skateboarding game where you play as Ed, Edd and Eddy to impress Nazz. I was definitely at least 7 or younger when I played this.

It's so funny that when I found this game again, I thought "Wow, it was so difficult. I'll try to play it again". So I played and... won quickly, then I realized that it wasn't difficult, I actually just didn't know how to play because I was just a stupid kid xD

youtube

I probably gradually stopped watching EEnE when I was around 10 or 11 (2010/2011) due to a combo of factors:

The show ended, new cartoons began to be released and Cartoon Network's schedule changed. So the time EEnE was on (probably in the early hours of the morning) stopped corresponding to the time I used to watch TV

Like I said, I used to watch a lot of different shows. I started hyperfixating on Adventure Time when I was 12 (2012) and this lasted until 2013. I tend to have lots of hyperfixations and to hyperfixate on one thing at a time, so the hyperfixation of the moment temporarily pushes the other ones away until another one arrives to take its place. After hyperfixating on Adventure Time I started hyperfixating on something else, then on another, and another... Until I get to where I am today xD

I was gradually starting to use the computer more and the TV less because I'm a very digital person. My interest in the internet became greater and greater and I was stopping to watch TV shows in general

You know when something is so much a part of your life that you don't realize how much it means to you? Because you're already used to it, it's part of your everyday life, so you just don't think about it much. And when you're a kid you're even more oblivious and clueless about things in general. Kids are simple. We don't overanalyze and reflect about things when we're kids, we just live and enjoy our simple childish lives. So when I was a kid, I didn't realize how much I love this show and I didn't even have any idea about rating things as favorites and stuff, I didn't think about it, so I didn't have that percpetion of "Ed, Edd n Eddy is my favorite TV show", even though I watched it a lot. I was just a little kid watching my TV shows and living my life, that's all. I only started to understand the enormous importance that this show has for me when I started to grow up and began to miss it intensely when I saw things about it or when I suddenly remembered its existence. Plus, you can only feel nostalgic when you grow up, and feeling nostalgic is a big factor in me becoming obsessed with things.

After I stopped watching it, my first contact with EEnE was probably when I was 12 and I saw and shared a post about it on Facebook in February 27th, 2013 (yes, coincidentally on Danny Antonucci's birthday!), and it brought me so many lost and happy memories, and the first part of my nostalgia! I was so happy to suddenly remember the existence of the show and unearth a series of positive feelings that I didn't even know were here.

Translation of what I wrote: "DORKS! (laugh) I REMEMBER *-* ED, EDD N EDDY"

And I watched EEnE for the first time again when I was 13 (July 2013) because I was on a plane trip with TVs in the seats. I turned on the TV to Cartoon Network, and coincidentally, Ed, Edd n Eddy was showing. Then nostalgia hit me even harder. However, this was just the "beginning" (the real beginning was in childhood, but anyways, it was the trigger to make me regain that lost childhood love), the hyperfocus hasn't started here yet.

I also saw and shared a post about EEnE on Facebook again in October 8th, 2014. Once again, a lot of positive feelings emerged.

Translation of what I wrote: "forever the most memorable cartoon of my childhood ❤️"

After that, I remembered the show from time to time (suddenly or by some trigger), especially when the subject of old cartoons or favorite cartoons came up by chance in conversations with my friends and EEnE always came to my mind automatically when talking about it even though I haven't watched it in years and it wasn't something active in my daily life at that age. It was only natural for me to answer to my friends in these conversations that Ed, Edd n Eddy was my favorite cartoon (and especially that Double D was my first crush and favorite character), as if deep down I knew how much it meant to me and that it was in fact the cartoon that had the greatest impact on my childhood and even on who I am today. So at that time (from 2014 to 2017), I used to look a little about it on the internet every now and then, but still not obsessively. I just saved some pics, looked for some episodes...

In January 2018, I was traveling and came across this t-shirt in a store (Riachuelo) at the mall. You have no idea how inexplicably happy I was, as if I were face to face with an old dear friend. That t-shirt just needed to be mine. When I started to remember it, nostalgia hitted me so hard and that's when everything started. Then I started hyperfixating at least since 2018, at least once a year.

Some pics with my t-shirt from February 24th, 2018:

In case you don't know, here in Brazil "Ed, Edd n Eddy" was translated to "Du, Dudu e Edu" because the Portuguese version of Edward is Eduardo, and the common nicknames are Dudu and Edu, so they just had to create the nickname "Du" (at least I've never seen someone called Eduardo being called Du) and there you go, we have the perfect adaptation! But we also lost the "Double D" nickname as we didn't have the issue of "Ed" and "Edd" sounding the same, so they just didn't see the need to keep it. So every time he's called "Double D" they just dub him as "Dudu" too.

Returning to the main topic: Hyperfixating made me find out about EddEddy and KevEdd ships, and honestly at that time I was kinda 🤨 because, besides never having thought about the possibility of them having anything other than friendship, I was raised in a conservative family and I reproduced their very homophobic thoughts more or less until I was 18, so I saw some fanarts and thought things like "Oh why would people do that!? Gross!". But still, for some reason I couldn't help but get a little too obsessed with EddEddy, and even a little with KevEdd, and save fanarts of the two together… little did I know. Today EddEddy is my biggest OTP, and I see no sense in KevEdd.

Each time I hyperfixated on EEnE it was more intense than the previous time, until it completely took hold and became an active and fixed part of my life. From 2019 to 2022 it was getting veeery intense. Sometimes the trigger was me sleeping, dreaming about EEnE, and because of the dream I remembered it and started hyperfixating. I finally had the idea to start looking for EEnE on TikTok (2022) and I discovered some really cool videos and profiles. Now, the last time I hyperfixated (September 25th, 2023) has been the strongest ever. I've finally reached the highest level of hyperfixation that makes me feel this is the most important thing in my life and I'm thinking and doing things about it 24/7.

So now I feel a great need to produce and absorb as much EEnE content as possible, which made me feel the need to finally join and interact with the fandom, which also led me to start using Tumblr for real and discovering that the format of this social media is PERFECT for me, as it is very organized, there are many ways to format text and insert media, media remain in excellent quality, the character limit is huge (great for me as I love writing), and I can edit the posts (great for my perfectionist side). This hyperfixation allowed me to step out of my comfort zone to explore a social media that fits perfectly with me, as before this I was a recurring Twitter user and faced a lot of annoying problems because of the limitations of this social media. It's even helping and encouraging me to finally practice my English and drawing, which are things I've wanted to do for a long time but didn't have enough energy to do or something important enough to encourage and stimulate me to do it, or didn't know how/where to start.

So I watched the entire show with Brazilian dubbing (since that was how I watched it when I was a kid and I wanted to feel the nostalgia more strongly), then I started subtitling the original episodes to watch them with the original voices and with my own way of subtitle since I'm a bit obsessive and perfectionist and I want to translate in the way I consider most accurate as possible. And boy, I love the Brazilian dubbing, I think they did a really good job and there are even some scenes that I find funnier in this dub BUT Eddy's original voice is simply a work of art. Tony Sampson was impeccable and did the most iconic and unique voice of all time. There are some scenes that I find hilarious just because it's Eddy talking, even the normal scenes that weren't intended to be funny or at least as funny as I find them. Also, I tend to prefer watching things in the original track because I like knowing exactly how things were said, and also to practice my English.

I also started writing about the show, the characters and their development throughout the seasons, writing fanfics, drawing the characters, writing some ideas for comics, making edits, and I'm practicing my English because I'm writing everything in English since the fandom is mostly English speakers and there are not many Brazilian fans. I plan to make videos compiling my favorite scenes, compiling EddEddy scenes and explaining how this ship makes sense, talking about Eddy being gay, talking about Double D and why I identify with him so much, talking about my autistic Double D headcanon, make Telegram sticker packs for each season, customize some t-shirts with the characters (mainly with Double D) and some scenes, buy clothes for my Double D cosplay (I already bought the hat and the t-shirt) which I intend to wear in my everyday life as casual clothes (basically I want to live my life as Double D from now on, which is not hard since we're basically the same person xD I'm just going to start dressing more like him to become even more like him) and even make other Double D clothes that I can't find for sale (I want to graduate in a suit exactly like the one he wears in season 5, and I also want the same cardigan and tie. And I was going to buy pajamas conveniently similar to his anyway, but duck pajamas, which also makes sense and isn't out of character at all, as we also see him wearing some duck-printed clothes).

But what makes me sure that EEnE is my strongest and most important special interest of all is the fact that for the first time in my life I decided to get a tattoo, for real! I used to have hypothetical tattoo ideas but not with the intention of actually getting them because I hate/hated the idea of permanently marking my body. I always said I would get a tattoo if tattoos worked like clothes (i.e., being removable and giving me the option to decide which one I want to wear on the day). But with EEnE that thought instantly disappeared completely, I was just like "I'll get it tattooed", without hesitation, it just felt right. I immediately lost my fear of marking my body as if it never existed because I consider EEnE so important and meaningful to me, so part of my own identity, that it just seems like the right thing to do. My initial idea was to tattoo Double D, but then I realized that actually all of them are very important to me even though Double D is my favorite, so I'm going to tattoo the trio, but probably doing something to highlight Double D (I'm still deciding what the tattoo will be like).

And you know what else? Rewatching Ed, Edd n Eddy now is even reminding me of lot of things that are blowing my mind. There are scenes from the show that I didn't even remember were from there, I just knew I had seen them somewhere. It feels like EEnE is so internalized in me that I don't even know which memories and parts of me come from the show, it's just all mixed up there and they are now part of my "system". I didn't even remember that I used to watch it with my dad and I only (re)discovered it when I watched a specific scene that I also didn't remember that was from EEnE, because I remember that I used to reproduce/imitate that scene with my dad because we found it funny. It's so strange to not be aware about these memories because they're so deep and buried in my subconscious. It's like I'm rediscovering myself and what shaped me and led me to where I am today, and rediscovering how important this show is to me and how much it influenced me.

Anyways, you asked for my history with Ed, Edd n Eddy, so here's my TED talk! All from the beginning and without an ending because all factors point to the obvious fact that this show will never leave my life. Not only did this never happened, but it became more and more part of my life over time, as well as having deeply rooted itself in me as a kid, so it has already become an inherent part of who I am, making it impossible to separate myself from the show. I just don't exist without Ed, Edd n Eddy.

Some current pics of me, now 23, wearing my favorite t-shirt :)

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teamskull-datingsim · 3 months

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okay just for my own sake heres my relationships with the undertale cast.

for context: in jeremytale, as im calling it, the Player latches onto me instead of frisk but frisk is still there. and killing someone is never a possibility. the dialogue options, whether mean or sarcastic, are something I myself would say regardless of being possessed by an Entity

frisk: thats a little sibling if ive ever seen one holy shit. in general i think theyre a cute kid and i think they look up to me but also theyre full of sass and love to backtalk (back sign??) me

chara: another little sibling. I love narrachara theory and it carries over. little dead guy (nonbinary) and their strange living cohort. chara voice Fun fact! If I was alive, I'd be your age! jeremy voice Thats really depressing dead kid

flowey: little sibling number threeee jesus christ. yes he hates me yes if something bad happens to me he will try and hurt the person who did it!! i just think hes a weird flower... until i learn the truth obviously. i try to be supportive but hes kind of a stinker

toriel: "wow this is. a bigger human than im used to having fallen here. Whatever still my child." i think shes awesome and i would love to hug her. however i do think i remind her of chara and asriel for time until she realizes that comparing me to either of them is unfair to everyone. im still her child though. Goat Mother

sans: he goes between "i need to avoid this guy at all fucking costs" and "hey it's not that bad. hes just autistic. thats cool". I do get mad at him frequently for patronizing papyrus (and he tries to do it to me too but i am not above threatening him). on the surface we relax with each other quite a bit. Especially when he realizes that me and papyrus are a good match. and also when he stops babying his brother lol

papyrus: man. cmon. you know this. i do think itd be funny that if i ever actually made jeremytale the outcome of the papyrus fight will always be the dating segment no matter what the player has me do. compliment him? "hey buddy i like your scarf! i have one just like it" "Y-YOU... SUCH A SINCERE TONE! ARE YOU... FLIRTING WITH ME?!?!" ".What". intimidate him? "(*You stand up to your full height and look down on Papyrus.)" "W-WOWIE... TRYING TO SHOW ME YOUR IMPRESSIVE STATURE... ARE YOU... FLIRTING WITH ME!?" "huh." just straight up spare him? "S-SO MYSTERIOUS AND STOIC... YOU MUST BE TRYING TO IMPRESS ME... YOURE FLIRTING?!" "WHAT!!!!!!!"

undyne: at first she hates me but once i get the undyne hang out we are. Basically siblings. she thinks me and papyrus are great and we become a trio of it. she loves noogieing me because i actually put up a fight. i also confront Her on babying papyrus but i think she already knows its bad. i also think she is so funny. most forgetful fish on the planet. WHY DIDNT YOU SIGN YOUR LETTER

alphys: im so cool to her when shes just watching my journey but when we meet face to face she quickly realizes im just as much of a dork as her. we're best friends

mettaton: i am so quirky and funny to him not in a patronizing way but like. That one video of "(excited voice) How do you keep your pants up when you perform, its incredible!" "....... belt". of course once i see EX its like. of course you have black hair and pronouns. unparalleled friend group of me, papyrus, undyne, alphys and mettaton

asgore: he is so. he thinks im an odd chap but mostly very polite and sweet. reminds him of chara much like toriel and makes him very sentimental. hes not really a dad to me but i do think he enjoys my company

#YEAHHH #gaze into the (disco) ball 🔮#☠️bonely heart club #selfship #self ship #self shipping #selfshipping #familial f/o #platonic f/o #🗻wooahh story of undertale

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wow-cool-robot · 1 year

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Episode 9: A New Bond

can't wait to actually see the zeta gundam

open on reccoa spying on some transports in jaburo (i assume)

quickly is caught and harassed by some soldiers, including a grope that seemed unnecessary-

holy shit it's my boy! kai's back, and he's in a snazzy white suit and he disarms the soldiers and makes them run off. god i love kai, glad to see he's cool

there's a titan officer who hasn't arrived at granada like expected

granada claims it isn't able to fully resupply the titans, the titans think granada is full of dirty aeug sympathizers

it's nice to see kamille working on haro, he needs a pet or something

kamille is skipping meetings and getting slapped for it, business as usual

man, kai rules. jaburo has moved somewhere else i guess? these subs aren't the best

it must be really risky for kai to be doing this, he's gotta be a prominent public figure, or at least noteworthy to the titans

huh, i guess the colonies are america pre revolution according to this guy? would the one year war be a failed revolutionary war, or what?

jesus christ! you can't just beat the shit out of a kid for no reason! at least kamille is fighting back, but wow

you know what, fuck this guy

wong's his name? fuck wong

kamille is right, he didn't deserve to be abandoned there. this kind of thing is par for the course with quattro, but i expected better of emma

stop hitting him! christ, he's gonna need to be hospitalized

let me be clear, i am on your side kamille. but you are not the main reason the argama has survived this long. that's not why wong hit you, he hit you because he's a dick, but that is absolutely an arrogant thing to say

does kamille call himself autistic in the source? because he for sure is, i'm just curious

anyways, haro is working again, so i think we're done tearing kamille down

oh hell yeah, the hyaku shiki looks fucking sick. surprised the gold coloring isn't more common

they are giving jerid so many chances

kamille should not be piloting, he should probably be in the hospital

have we seen these char-like mobile suits yet?

war profiteers playing both sides is always a good wrinkle

i didn't realize they knew quattro was the leader of the mobile suits

the raid is a very efficient operation

quattro saving kamille while kamille has his eyes close is a very sad moment

oh, jerid is part of the counterraid. kamille feels a disturbance in the force, but quattro (who should know better) just calls him selfish

glad emma's getting her time to shine

kamille with the save is good, and i'm glad this doesn't undermine emma's competence too much

you should trust kamille's newtypeness on all this!

i personally wouldn't wear a white suit to a stealth mission, but kai is pulling it off

#gundam liveblog #zeta

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assassinmidnight · 3 years

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Their resident Genius

The BAU is called in by Scotland Yard to help with a case, Spencer becomes intrigued when he hears that they have their own resident genius.

_________

Spencer Reid x Holmes!Autistic!Female!reader

_________

Honestly Spencer was unsure why Scotland Yard had called them in, he always knew that their team was one of the best but the fact that Scotland Yard had called them in had surprised the Genius a lot.

“Okay team, we’ve been called in by the English. We’re gonna be gone for a bit so pack accordingly. Airstrip in 30,” Hotch called. “Wait, the English? You mean Scotland Yard? Scotland Yard called US in, why?”

“Really Reid, I thought you’d be the most excited to meet their team. Apparently they have their own resident genius,” The reply from Hotch had Morgan smiling “Resident Genius? Is he smarter than Reid? Man I have to see this,”

During the entire flight Spencer had been thinking of the so-called Genius. He didn’t really believe in genius as a word but he had become intrigued. He wondered if Hotch was honest, if he was correctly informed. Spencer had for a long time kept track of Scotland Yard but he’d only heard of Sherlock Holmes being their resident genius, but he was a consultant not an official agent. Did he decide to join them officially?

“Reid stop, I can hear the cogs turning in your head and it’s keeping me from my sleep,”

“Shut up Morgan,” Morgan looked over “Reid I get it, you’re stressed about meeting new people and maybe even someone who can go against you in brainiac power. But dude chill, it’s gonna be all good, chances are they aren’t even close to your level.”

Spencer took that into consideration, it’s true most people who are called geniuses aren’t close to his level.”

“Okay team we’re gonna meet the people from Scotland Yard. Behave,” Hotch sounded more serious than he looked.

Spencer was surprised when they entered the building, it was nothing like their own. This place was not messy or filled with people stuffing the rooms, it was all quiet and strict as if it was a classroom. “This way to the office,” Hotch pointed towards a room and they all headed there.

“Ah Agent Hotch, thank you for coming,” The man smiled and shook hands with Hotch, “This must be your famous team of profilers,” The man quickly looked at his watch before looking up again. “We should wait with the introductions, one of ours is running late,” Morgan smirked “Your resident genius?” The man looked up surprised before nodding, he looked like he was about to answer but got interrupted by the door swinging open.

“I’m sorry for being late, you know how my brother is,” A woman came in, a bit out of breath. She looked around 21 and had (y/h) colored hair, quite long too.

She seemed to realize the company they had and went beet red, Spencer thought she looked pretty cute.

She turned back to the man, “So this is the BAU team lestrade? The best profilers,”

“Wait you’re Greg Lestrade? You worked with Sherlock and Dr. Watson,” The two brits looked over at Reid, the girl cocked her head to the side before smiling. “Dr. Reid I presume. I’ve read a lot about you, three PhDs and working for the FBI at 24, impressive,” now Reid turned red earning a laugh from Morgan. “You did your homework,” The woman looked at Morgan, “Yes I did, I like knowing who come here, Agent Morgan.”

“Y/n behave. I know you prefer working alone but no need to be rude, you are better than your brothers aren't you?” The girl named Y/n sighed and nodded. “Good, introduce us to the UnSub.”

Throughout the entire briefing Spencer had been staring at Y/N, he couldn’t figure out how such a young woman was part of Scotland Yard. He tried to profile her but all he could decipher from her movements, which were many. She fidgeted a lot, tended to stare at the wall and kept her arms crossed over her chest. She was distracted, bored and introverted. That profile didn’t fit someone in this field.

“Yes Y/N?” Hotch's voice brought Spencer from his thoughts.

“Dr. Reid, why are you staring at me so much? Is it really that hard to profile me?” Her voice was quite gleeful. She was proud, she had an advantage and she knew that. “Mm, yes sorry, I was profiling you but it wasn’t hard. You are clearly bored by this, unfocused throughout the entire briefing and you are closed off. These are not common attributes in Agents, that’s why I was staring,” He felt pretty proud of himself until “You didn’t introduce me Detective?” “No, I thought it best to keep the introductions til we're all here. But it seems like you know them well enough which I expected but you should probably introduce yourself,” Lestrade smiled and Y/N nodded. “My name is Y/N Holmes, little sister of both Mycroft and Sherlock. I am the one who usually works alone in my cave but apparently I was needed for this case. And no Dr. Reid I was not bored or unfocused, quite the opposite actually. I was just in my mind palace,”

“You’re the sister of Sherlock? Wait you’re the resident Genius,” Y/N laughed at Morgan’s reaction. Once again she cocked her head to the side, smiling. “How many PhDs?” She turned to Reid, “None, school bores me. Also resident genius isn’t what I would call myself, creative genius with hypersensitivity. All the Holmes boys got none of the emotion so I got all of it,” Reid nodded. “Well now that we’ve been introduced to the most interesting thing in England, how about we get started.”

“You still thinking about Miss smartypants, Pretty boy?” Reid tossed a pillow at Derek, but he did nod. “There is something about her, she wasn’t looking at me but knew that I was watching her. She assumed Lestrade had introduced her to us but was happy when she got to do it herself and she pointed out that she is more creative and sensitive than her brothers who are known sociopaths. I can’t understand her brain, or her profile,” Morgan stared at Reid before laughing “Dude it sound like you have a crush on Miss Holmes, well if she is as smart as they say your kids will definitely be something out of this world,” Morgan kept on laughing even when Spencer turned around on his bed.

“Welcome to my cave, don’t touch anything without asking.” Y/N was stern, her look was cold as well Spence nodded. “So um, why am I working here instead of in the field?” he asked, she looked at him annoyed before turning to her screen. “Because your boss thought it would be best to keep the two geniuses in the same room.”

The two kept working, Reid was surprised at all the tea Y/N was drinking and how she compulsively played with her bracelets whenever she was thinking. OCD, that did fit but something still felt off. “Just ask, get it out of the way before you drive me absolutely nuts” she looked at him expectantly. Spencer gulped before asking the question “Why can’t I profile you? I know it’s nothing on my end so it must be something on yours,” She shook her head and smiled, looking back at her screen. Spencer sighed thinking she wasn’t going to answer.

“I am autistic with traces of OCD and dyslexia, that’s why you can’t profile me. I don’t fit the general profile for autistics. I have a deep emotional understanding but I lack logical intelligence that is usually paired with the diagnosis. My OCD traces are caused by my autism and the compulsive behaviors are mainly caused by anxiety. I suffered deep trauma in my childhood like both my brothers but unlike them I never emotionally distanced myself, this is why you can’t profile me Reid, I don’t fit the general profiles just like you,”He was surprised at her answer but considering what she just said he really shouldn’t have.

“Wow, that’s- that’s a lot. Wait, you profiled me?” He was genuinely surprised, she laughed at him, breaking her cold act. “No I didn’t, but most intelligent people are the same,” he nodded before laughing with her.

“So thanks to the BAU and our own Agents we’ve managed to catch this killer and he will soon be behind bars,” JJ announced on the news. The team were currently at Lestrades house having a drink. Reid kept looking over to Y/N, ever since they’d solved the case she’d been distant towards him, it hurt for some reason. He thought they were getting along, especially after they’d started to talk about Dr. WHO, guess not.

“Something wrong, Reid?” He turned and saw that the voice belonged to Lestrade, he nodded. “In my experience with the Holmes siblings, they rarely act like this unless it’s something that will actually impact them. You should talk to her, as much as she detests it she is like her brothers and when angry instead of being consumed by emotions like them she turns them off and goes all logical. Easy to have a conversation with if you watch your words,” When Spencer didn’t move Lestrade pushed him slightly making him go over to Y/N.

“Why are you ignoring me?” She turned to him, cup of tea in her hand, she sighed then gave him a strained smile. “Reid, go back to your team,” “Not until you tell me why you’ve been ignoring me?” She gave him a cold look before sighing again. “I have been ignoring you because I like you, Reid. You are going back to America so I am simply distancing myself to get used to not having you around any more. It’s all logical,”

“You like me?” he was genuinely surprised, he found Y/N cute and even had a bit of a crush on her, something he’d never admit to Morgan but he never thought she liked him back.

“Of course I like you. You are smart and cute and have these small quirks about you. You are funny and a geek and get almost every single of my pop culture references,” Reid just looked at her with fond eyes, she liked him back and was now rambling on about why. It was cute, really cute. He pressed his lips against hers, successfully muffling her rambles. She seemed surprised at first but soon reprocrated the kiss.

“WHO IS THAT GUY KISSING MY BABY SISTER!” The two geniuses broke apart, red and turned to the voice. Seems like Sherlock Holmes had invited himself in and based on the look in his eyes said one thing, the high functioning sociopath was not happy with Reid kissing his sister.

#spencer reid #reader insert #spencer reid x reader #autistic reader #spencer reid x autistic reader #criminal minds #bbc sherlock #Sherlock #big brother sherlock #holmes reader #sherlock holmes #crossover #fluff #cute

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bubblyqueer000 · 2 years

Note

Can I get Makoto X Fem!Reader who has Asperger’s syndrome but is very sweet and tries to get along with Makoto?

Makoto Naegi x Fem!Autistic!Reader

I’m feeling extra chaotic rn because I have so much shit to do today but rn I’m literally eating half a dozen donuts and writing this hnjefvnjedb pls enjoy!!

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO PUT THIS DISCLAIMER!! I am not diagnosed with autism!! All I know are the basic symptoms from google and the symptoms that go hand in hand with ADHD so if I say anything wrong please let me know and I will change it accordingly. I don’t want to be the next s*a or some shit.

Edit: Wow I was in denial when I wrote this. I'm autistic as fuck lmaooooo

♡ Makoto didn’t particularly understand why you were interested in him, whatsoever. He wasn’t sure why someone so fun and sweet like you would want to be with someone so plain but he definitely appreciates your positivity!

♡ He doesn’t really know anything about autism. He googles it when he meets you so he can understand you better but that’s as far he goes until the two of you start dating but more on that later hehe!!

♡ The first thing that made Makoto want to become friends with you was when he saw how you tend to interact with other people. If your autism makes it difficult to socialize with others, he understands (mainly because he’s socially awkward and he thinks that that’s the only reason why you have trouble talking to others.) Regardless though, that was how he became friends with you and he quickly realized how cool you are!

♡ It took a while for the subject of autism to be brought up. It seems like it’s just something that you just kinda said one day. You weren’t embarrassed to tell him since at that point you were super comfy with hanging out with him!

♡ “What are you so happy for Y/N?”

♡ “Huh? What do you mean, Makoto?”

♡ “Well, you always bounce in your seat and shake your arms around when you get excited, so I just thought that something was going on.”

♡ “Oh! I didn’t think you would notice! But yeah I do that when I’m excited because of my autism!” You say while smiling at him. He smiled and went back to what he was doing… Right before looking back up at you when he processed what you said.

♡ “Wait, what does that mean?”

♡ That’s when he started to research it.

♡ It was definitely a friends to lovers relationship.

♡ He loves how you match him in how gung ho he is. In fact, sometimes you’re more energetic than him.

♡ As I said, you tell him because he saw you stimming (Is arm flapping considered stimming? Cause I do it bc of adhd but idk) but when you flap your arms around/bounce up and down/rock back and forth/how ever else you stim, he thinks you’re! SO! PRECIOUS!!!!

♡ “Sweetheart, do you want to get f/f for dinner?” Class was over and the two of you were walking out of school.

♡ “Yes!! Thank you, darling!!!” You giggle while (doing whatever you do to stim). Makoto just kept on staring at you, cutely, with wide eyes. “Why are you staring at me? It’s embarrassing.”

♡ “Sorry… You’re just being really cute…” He mumbled.

♡ *Heart explodes moment*

♡ Makoto loves hearing you talk about your special interests no matter what they are. It’s so inspiring to hear you talk about something that makes you that happy even if it’s just a series or something that he may find silly.

♡ If you have trouble sleeping, he’ll ask if you want to watch anime and play video games or something… Not the best influence but he’s trying his best.

♡ If you’re non verbal he’ll try to learn sign language or makaton. He’d do anything to understand you better! (hehe makoton sound like makoto my brain go brrrr)

♡ The rest of this takes place in the killing game!!

♡ The whole situation was putting you under a lot of stress. How could it not when you were watching the kids around you die? And on top of that, all of this was going on with your boyfriend there. What if he got caught up in it and was killed in front of you as Leon, Mondo, and Celeste had?

♡ You woke up one night, horrified. The bad thoughts that were nearly impossible to stop had appeared and you knew you couldn’t get through them alone.

♡ You nervously opened your door and peaked out, shaking as you did so. Who knew who could be waiting quietly in the hallway planning your demise? You hesitate for another moment and begin running down the hall. You were just about to turn the corner and run to your boyfriend’s room, when a figure bumped into you.

♡ It was all over. You were already pushed onto the floor and at any moment, you would watch helplessly as the person climbed on top of you so that you couldn’t get away and feel the sharp, excruciating pain of the murder weapon your killer chose against your skin. A tear dripped down your face and all you could do was put your hands over your eyes and await a painful death.

♡ “Y/N! Please don’t cry, sweetheart! It’s just me!”

♡ “Makoto?!” You cried.

♡ “Everything's okay! Just calm down and breathe.”

♡ You and Makoto sat against the wall. He took deep breaths next to you, while waiting for you to calm down, smiling when you finally started breathing deeply along with him.

♡ “Good job.” He said. “Is everything okay now? Can I hug you?” He asked you quietly.

♡ You pause, not entirely sure of how to answer, and finally, nodded. Makoto hugs you tightly on the hallway floor.

♡ “I don’t care who I have to protect you from. No one's going to hurt you so long as I’m alive.”

#danganronpa #trigger happy havoc #fanfic #danganronpa x reader #anime #makoto naegi x reader #makotonaegi #makoto naegi

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knickynoo · 4 years

Text

BTTF Headcanons

As suggested by the wonderful @tsukinikawatteus, I’ve put together some of my headcanons. Honestly, these are going to revolve solely around Doc & Marty, because I don’t really have any developed ones involving other characters.

I’ll hide it under a ‘read more ’ in case it gets too long and ramble-y. Which it will, because this is me we’re talking about.

First, I’ll answer the ones I got in the ask.

- How Doc & Marty met: For this one, I just go by the official Bob Gale answer that Marty was 13 or 14, had heard rumors about the crazy old scientist in town, & snuck into Doc’s lab one day & got caught. The comic series actually shows this event happening, but I tend to dismiss that version because honestly, I don’t like the way it’s handled. (Plus Bob Gale has said that the comics/game/etc can be take it or leave it as considered canon, so yay) Anyway, I imagine a young Marty hearing all these whispers around town about Doc and being curious. Maybe he was looking for danger/adventure in going to investigate, but I also like to think that part of Marty felt sorry for this guy who everyone seemed to look down on. So he made his way over to Doc’s lab to see what the deal was & was initially scared when he got caught. But he saw all the cool experiments and the general chaos & was totally into it. (And btw, in my headcanon, Marty is the one who first refers to him as Doc & establishes it as his “name,” unlike the comic version where Doc tells Marty to call him that?? Def didn’t like that part.)

- When they started to consider each other best friends/what impact did they have on each other’s life: I’d say they considered the other a best friend pretty quickly. Doc was absolutely thrilled to discover that this kid thought he was awesome & was so interested in his work. After spending so much of his life without true connections or relationships, having Marty around really changed Doc’s life. He finally had someone (aside from Einstein) to talk to about all of his experiments and the science behind them.

The same goes for Marty considering Doc a best friend. Seeing as he was growing up in such a dysfunctional environment, with parents who probably weren’t super attentive or close to him, he loved being around Doc. Not only was he treated as an equal, he also had someone to listen to him, which he didn’t get at home. He found encouragement and felt respected around Doc. Plus, my general headcanon is that Marty really doesn’t have other friends & was always kind of an outsider.

Now onto some of my other headcanons....

- As I mentioned above, I don’t see Marty as a guy with many friends. He’s friendly towards a lot of people, but doesn’t have a specific group he belongs to. He really only interacts with his band mates while he’s at practice & it’s more of a business situation than a friendship. Marty gets to practice, runs the show (playing sick guitar riffs) & then just leaves. His band mates serve as a convenient cover story for when he wants to go somewhere with Jennifer, but that’s pretty much it. He has three friends, ok? And one of them is an animal.

- Upon finally settling into the improved ‘85 timeline, once all the time-traveling was over, things were understandably very jarring to Marty. One of the things he found hardest to adjust to was the sudden affection from his parents, namely the good morning hugs & kisses like we see Lorraine give him at the end of the first movie. Marty was previously used to spending the mornings in solitude since his father would already be at work & his mom would sleep in (often because she was still out of it from drinking the night before). The idea of family breakfasts & being greeted so warmly when he woke up, and when he got home from school, was super weird to him at first.

- Marty has ADHD. (this seems to be a very common headcanon, lol). Doc, being the kind of guy who’s interested in a wide variety of topics, came across some research & information on it at some point & instantly recognized the signs in his friend. When Marty came over one day, frustrated after a particularly rough day at school, he sat him down & talked to him about his suspicions. And since Doc was well aware of the lack of potential support (because this is the 80s after all, & SO many people with ADHD just didn’t have resources to get help), he took on the role of giving Marty advice and tips on how he could cope with it.

- Related to above point: Marty found that wearing layers helped keep him calm/feel grounded, hence why our boy rocks the t-shirt/button up/jean jacket/puffy vest look. And honestly, the suspenders might play a role in that too, since they put subtle pressure on part of the chest/shoulders/back. This also explains the leather jacket from part II! Aside from just thinking it looked awesome (and perfectly inconspicuous), Marty liked that it was a thick, weighted material.

-Doc is autistic. As he was diving into the world of research concerning ADHD & other various conditions, he came across a series of studies on Asperger’s syndrome & instantly connected the information with his own childhood and current life. Since he grew up feeling isolated from his peers & like nobody understood him, reading through the studies made him feel like he had found an answer. (A fact nobody asked for: the first study printed in English on Asperger’s syndrome was released in 1981. Yes, I checked to make sure this headcanon would be possible.)

-Doc set up a bed for Marty in the garage partially for the nights they were working late & his friend was too tired to head home, but also because he realized that a lot of the time, Marty simply didn’t want to be at home. Marty got into the habit of sleeping in his clothes so that at any given moment he could head over to Doc’s garage if he needed to. Doc made it clear to him that he was welcome anytime & doesn’t bat an eye when the boy wanders in at night & flops down into the bed.

-For Doc’s birthday, Marty went out & bought him the most colorful, “loudest” Hawaiian shirt he could find. It was sort of a joke, but Doc absolutely loved it.

-On Marty’s birthday, Doc asked him to come over under the guise of needing help with an experiment, but it was really a mini party with the lab decorated with streamers & balloons & cupcakes Doc had gone to pick up. Einstein wore a party hat.

- We all know Doc & Marty eat a lot of Burger King. When they eat it in Doc’s garage, Marty takes pieces of the fries and slips them under the table to Einstein. Doc does not appreciate Marty encouraging Einstein’s begging but the boy can’t resist sharing with the dog.

- Occasionally, when they’re taking a break from working or are just hanging out, Marty takes out his guitar & Doc takes out his saxophone & they jam. Sometimes they play actual songs & other times they create their own. Whenever they try to make up lyrics, it quickly devolves into complete nonsense, usually ending up with the two of them laughing so hard that they can’t even play anymore.

-Marty also sometimes puts on a Huey Lewis tape while the two of them are working. Doc initially wasn’t really into the music, but he eventually found himself singing along to the songs with Marty.

Okay, I need to stop myself because. Wow. If anyone actually reads this thing, I commend you on the effort. Kai, you had no idea what you were unleashing when you sent me that ask the other day.

#this is why i had to start this blog everyone #I was subjecting those around me to this IN REAL LIFE #now i'm subjecting all of you to it in virutal life #back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #michael j fox #doc brown #christopher lloyd #nikki rambles:extreme edition

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vegalocity · 3 years

Note

Starrosefics, asking for 23/42 for Spicynoodleshipping and 72 for Mabifica, please? (All are from the 76 Kisses.)

Prompt meme || @starfics

Shorter Mabifica because longer spicynoodles Both under cut because i respect your dashboards

72. When One Person’s Face Is Scrunched Up, And The Other One Kisses Their Lips/Nose/Forehead

The epic highs and lows of competeitive gaming

“WHAT?! OH COME ON!”

“Oh wow I won? Interesting. I thought you were the Gravity Falls Smash bros champ!”

“Rrrrrr Best two out of three!”

“NONONONONONOOOOOOOO”

“Oh! Win to Northwest again! Do you maybe want to switch characters? I know the princess is an intimdating foe. I can play the little pink blob if you'd like.”

“Don't mock me Paz.”

“OKAY HOW DO YOU KEEP BEATING ME?! YOU DON'T PLAY SMASH!”

“Maybe you're losing your touch.”

“RAAAAGGGHHH”

“....You've been training with Dipper in those discord calls you guys don't let me crash so I don't 'derail the conversation with lovey dovey talk' haven't you?”

“He plays different than you, but if you've beaten Mario you can beat Princes Peach.”

Mabel moaned in agony, sliding down in her seat until the majority of her legs were hanging off the couch and her head was the only thing on the backrest. “You hustled me! You hustled me just to humiliate me. And Dipper helped you! I am betrayed, I am bereft. None shall get past my stone wall again. I'll never love another again.”

Pacifica began to laugh because really, how could she not? Mabel treating a video game like a deeply important telenovela event that had things riding on it beyond pride was too good.

“Oh come on, I've been practicing basically since last summer, if anything it shows how good you are!” Mabel scrunched her face up into a pout. And Pacifica laughed again.

She watched Mabel's out wobble, no doubt she wanted to find the humor in this too, but wasn't done pouting yet. So Pacifica leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. She finally smiled back up at her.

“I guess I'll see you in the next Gravity Falls Tourney in a couple of weeks huh? May the best player win.”

“Oh, I will.”

Mabel squawked in outrage.

23. Exhausted Parents kiss // 42. Sated Kiss

I still don’t have a name for this kid so you’re just gonna have to bear with me (Content warning for more internalized abelism)

It wasn't exactly a secret that Red Son was a doting father, if he were the type to carry one of those 'picture laminate' wallets he'd have filled it to the brim with pictures of their little girl from age six hours to current day and would take them out to gush about her regularly, possibly even to their enemies. But thankfully he kept all of THOSE on his phone and that would inevitably save their baby girl some grief when she grew up a little more and entered her teens.

Honestly, it was literally one of the best things about him because Xiaotian could NOT get enough of watching how his husband—whom had entered his life shreiking with fury and intent on nothing but destruction and his own untimely death—would happily sing along to the cartoon opening theme songs with their little rascal or blow raspberries into her belly as she squealed with laughter.

Neither of them really got stuff like that in their childhoods, so it was rather important to both of them that that sweet little bundle of energy and crayons got as much affection as they could possibly give her without smothering her with it entirely.

There were some hiccups of course, how could there not be? She couldn't stand anyone touching her from her shoulders up, so her hair was oftentimes messy as she could only sit through one hairbrushing in the morning and one at night. Though her arms were too short to be able to brush her own hair yet she kept asking.

She'd only recently started speaking actually, apparently she'd decided she didn't want to talk until she could spew out full sentences, which was certainly something when it happened. Heavens knew when she was three and hadn't spoken a word, everyone had been trying to coax her to talk. Usually just trying to prompt simple words, but everyone had been taken aback when Tang was slowly pronouncing the name of the hero of the story he was telling her, and she responded with her first word “Why” followed quickly with “-are you talking so slow?”

Most problematic was that she had very sensitive hearing. Which could be a problem not only in this city, but also in this household, granted Red Son could go from talking at a normal volume to borderline shouting without being aware of the volume shift at all, and he was always extremely distressed when he thought everything was normal, didn't see Xiaotian trying to catch his eye to tell him to tone down, and get blindsided by his darling baby cry out and clap her hands over her ears and curl up as though she were in physical pain. Xiaotian ended up taking a pair of headphones that had gone dead in an ear, yanking out the wire and adjusting them to her little head. It didn't get rid of the days where their baby would curl up in the far corner of her bedroom, hands clasped over her ears because everything was too loud for her, and those days were always guaranteed to end with Red Son spiraling into the idea that he was a terrible father and wasn't meant to take care of people, but they were less frequent.

And then there came today. Red Son was sitting in the chair he favored most, scribbling into a notebook about some project or another, and their daughter was sitting on the floor, happily coloring one of the characters in a cartoon she loved. And as she concentrated on the crayon drawing, she began to rock back and forth. It was adorable, and Xiaotian didn't want to interrupt his two favorite people while they were both in the zone by announcing dinner time—though Dinner was ready—so he was planning on just lingering in the doorway for a few moments longer. But Something about it had caught Red Son's eye.

“Sweetie? What are you doing?”

She yelped and stopped, both drawing and rocking.

“Nothin' just drawin'.”

“I see that, You were also rocking in place, did you know that?” She seemed to shrink and Xiaotian probably should have cut in now, but something held him back. Let it play out.

“s'okay I'm just weird.” She didn't see Red Son flinch, but he did.

“Who... who told you something like that?”

“They say it on Alice's Adventures. Weird is when you do something that other people don't do and it makes you stick out. Right? And I never seen nobody do it. So I'm weird.”

Red Son took a moment, long enough for their daughter to turn back to her drawing, and stood up from the chair, striding over to sit across from her on the floor, notebook propped up on the coffee table. And as she started to rock in place again, he joined her.

Xiaotian almost wanted to cry.

He gave them a couple more moments. “Okay gremlins, dinner's ready!”

Thier daughter leaped to her feet and made a small happy squeaky noise as she raced to the dining table. “Dinner! Dinner! Dinner!”

Red Son was slower to join, realization hitting him and reflexively he began to fluster. “How much of that did you see?”

Xiaotian met him halfway across the room and tried not to look too giddy. “Enough that you are getting so laid tonight once she's in bed.” for now he settled for a quick kiss. “But only if you stop calling yourself weird and acknowledge the real word for it so that shit doesn't rub off before we can get her tested.”

“Fine.” Red Son looked away, gaze now fixated on the little girl already happily rocking back and forth at her space at the dinner table. “She's probably Autistic and she probably got it from me.”

“Which means...?”

“Don't push it Noodle Boy.”

Red Son stopped rocking only when he was alone, and it was great to see, the stim was doing more to reign in his temper than even Xiaotian had thought, and of course, it was an unequivocal delight to watch him and their baby side by side sitting on the floor, either of their projects laid out on the coffee table, and rocking back and forth in rhythm with eachother.

Send me stuff!

#Mabifica #Spicynoodleshipping #Vega writes stories too #Letters to vega #Starsfic #Anonymous #no beta we die like men

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khangowrites · 3 years

Text

Is it a Complaint Essay or is the Workplace Unsuitable?

Ah, what am I writing today? Oh, well I suppose it’s almost 12am. Seems like a good a time as any. I wanted to just jot down a few re-occurring experiences I’ve had in the workplace and sometimes in other social spaces, and attempt to analyze them.

CW: mild mentions of abuse and bodily ailments.

A bit of forward: I tend to mask myself heavily whenever I am in any social situation; whether it be at work, at home, with friends or online (although I’m getting better at being myself on Discord at least. I owe a lot to my friends who accept me and whom I care so much about.) What this means is I often plan out what I’m needed to say in advance of a situation. I have an arsenal of about 5 minutes of small talk before I tank and several small greetings/placations I can cycle through on any given day if I’m not overloaded. I also limit my natural inclination to movement.

It’s called unprofessional/unsightly to sit with your legs folded under you, or to sway and shake your arms and legs back and forth in time to music in your head. But it’s okay if you tap your pencil. Everyone does that.

I have to wonder how noticeable my ‘masked’ self is. How real or fake it appears.

There have been a few trends I’ve seen with the way people treat me as an employee in the time I’ve been in the workforce. For clarity, I am a 23 year old 5’1” AFAB person with a face that looks like it stopped aging when I was 12. I’m non-binary, but I’ve seen that many have a hard time using a different pronoun for me because I look ‘so feminine’. I had one old man repeatedly tell me that my body was too pretty and that I shouldn’t hide it and ‘pretend’ to be something else. I was and still am quite unsettled and disgusted by that comment.

I haven’t used my full preferred pronouns at work simply based in fear of being fired or discriminated against further. Same thing at home- I haven’t told all my family out of fear. I may look back on this at some future date where I fully respect myself and I’m confident. I look forward to that day.

Oh, and I’m autistic.

Perhaps it is one of these things or all of them that cause people to treat me certain ways. I’d like to find out.

I worked outdoors at an Orchard for a season. They called me Cinderella because of the way I looked when I cleaned. They gave employees gloves and heaters. Only not me. When I asked, I was given a broken one and told to fix it. A coworker who had intellectual disabilities and poor eyesight was not offered a heater at all. I did not renew for the next season. Kim and I stayed in touch though.

I worked next at a gift shop at a historical site. I loved the history and the old buildings, but the cashier work was admittedly difficult. Most of the employees were kind, retired old ladies who treated me gently, like a child. Sometimes too much like a child. The assistant manager seemed wary of me, and she often avoided me. I don’t know why. I’m not good with eye contact, and I always fear that people will mistake my zoning out as being creepy or disrespectful; maybe it was that. She never brought her kids with her on days I worked.

The head manager was courteous, but always called me Special. We had an older man work in the last 2 years I was there who had a strong inclination to associate with the children at the shop, and in turn, me as well. He would always want a hug or pat me on the back, but ignored the other workers. I told the managers my uncomfortable feelings about him, but it went mostly unnoticed.

When it was found that I was decent with computers, I was tasked with entering jewelry into the system and creating labels with number associations. I enjoyed it, and they promised me a decent raise. My pay was raised a dollar several weeks later, and I found myself being tasked with more and more computer work, to the point of becoming an office manager myself, earning a grand total of 9 dollars an hour while my counterpart who started a year earlier owned a home on the same work.

I left that job after 4 years to be the music director at a local church. I love music and was excited. Maybe too excited. I developed acid re-flux and was hospitalized the week before my start day due to a panic attack. I realize now it was from stress. I also had an ovarian cyst removed a year later- it took up my entire pelvis and its formation was also attributed to stress. I’ve since been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, and I continue to have ever changing digestive issues, muscle problems and panic attacks.

After realizing I was autistic and also non-binary, so much of the stress of life started to make sense. The past few months I have been making life changes, and working towards finding a workplace that is accommodating and safe for me. My stress has lessened.

I worked at the church for 2 years. My last day is actually at the end of this month. As is the trend, I was not treated with respect when it came to my job. My pastor started choosing the hymns over me, and would make comments about me during services. His favorite was to say that my music made him fall asleep, and wait for laughter from the congregation. He had no musical knowledge, and forced me to play every song as fast as I possibly could. He didn’t believe I could do my job. Any attempts at mutual work failed to manifest. I unfortunately was groomed by a member of the hiring committee there as well, a type of abuse I didn’t even realize I had fallen into until several months after it was too late.

I currently work at a high school as a choir accompanist. I use she/they pronouns there, but no one uses they and I’m too worried to be fully they like I am outside of work. I am wary of soiling my relationship with the director further. She’s quite religious in the ‘gays don’t have rights’ way, so I have my fears.

The director is kind, but sees me as this innocent child that happens to have natural piano abilities, and the mutual respect that I’ve come to dream of just isn’t there again.

The director has the key to the doors and lets students in without fail, but conveniently forgets to let me in almost every day. At one time, I was in physical therapy and had a hard time standing and walking for any period of time. I almost went home because she didn’t answer any communication, class started 20 minutes previously, and it was 90 degrees outside and I needed to sit down because my legs were cramping. She plans the music weeks in advance, but doesn’t give them to me until the day the students get it, despite my repeated asking for time to prepare.

One day I was on zoom and she and the student teacher greeted me and then ignored my presence and played the piano herself for class. She struggled with the parts and commented to the choir that, “wow, Ms. Khango is actually pretty dang good at this- that little girl can play!”, but didn’t listen to me when I offered to play. I left the zoom after an hour.

The online students seemed to share my surprise at least, and I am grateful to them. They kept me grounded and reminded me that I matter and should have the same respect as everyone else in the room, zoom or not. They talk to me about not being heard and their chats not being read during class. It bothered me, too. The next week I brought it up to her in the form of making sure the zoom students were heard and she quickly dismissed it, like it was a puff of smoke. The students online now ask me questions directly and I relay them. It’s met with annoyance by the director.

They have voices too.

One of the scariest moments of my life was last week- I wore my ‘disability rights are human rights’ shirt to school. (Okay, maybe not scary to some, but it very much was for me.) After class, one of the students came to me and asked if I could help him find a way for his grandfather to get a seat at the concert, as he was disabled and he didn’t know how to proceed.

It filled me with joy to help him, and it filled me with rage when the teachers asked if his grandpa could just get out of the wheelchair instead.

My overall conclusion to all of these things is that people simply don’t understand, or don’t want to because it makes their lives harder.

Is discrimination and ignorance really easier than respecting people?

I’m not sure if this is all just one big complaint essay. I guess it is. What I needed to do was write it all out. All the things that make me uneasy or feel like lesser of a person. And I wanted to know why.

I note that at every job I am perceived as a child, or as someone naïve. I am not treated the same as another adult employee. I was ostracized for my way of moving and talking. Taken advantage of. My needs were not accommodated.

Even now, I feel guilt for writing this, like I’m just playing the victim for attention or something.

I want to be strong enough to stand up to it and ask to be treated with respect and have it follow through.

I want to unmask myself more and let myself move and talk naturally, and use my real pronouns.

My respect for myself and for others must become a powerful force.

My friends on discord- my real, genuine friends, have become monumental in my life. Most of my life I did not have true friends. Without them and their unconditional love and support, I would not be where I am right now. We are all equals. I want to embody that strong respect and bring it to others.

It’s getting late. 1 a.m. now. Well, I have tomorrow. Plenty of time for Star Trek.

#workplace problems #actuallyautistic #essay #nonbinary #figuring out life

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autisticsidesau · 4 years

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You said virgil was nb right? How did they realize that?

Virgil makes a “friend”

And by “friend” we mean a boy who is neurotypical that’s super nice to disabled kids in a bit of a demeaning way

But their “friend” isn’t super duper demeaning so Virgil doesn’t realize

Its demeaning enough were it isn't okay but also where Virgil can’t tell bc it isn’t super clear

And during this friendship, Virgil starts f e e l i n g things

And this friend as out as gay

Now Virgil knows that being gay is a thing and that being gay is ok and God still loves him

Kids got two awesome moms they’re chill with this shit

Anyways so one day Virgil sits down to watch youtube cus they’re bored and they come across a video on a science channel

The video talks about plants and how plants reproduce, a few videos later down a youtube spiral and Virgil finds a video about sexuality

Now like we said Virgil Knows what gay is their moms are gay

But hearing this person explain what being gay is like?

Something clicks for Virgil, they compare the person talking about how they feel about the same gender to how they feel about their “friend”

Cue Virgil being like “ahahaha i do that”

Cure virgil being like “OH FUCK IM GAY”

And shit Virgil has a crush

Virgil’s first reaction is that they want to tell Dee

But well it’s scary isn’t it?

He decides to come out to their crush first. Bc their crush is actually out as gay

So that’ll be safe, right?

So they get their friend alone and Virgil says that they’re gay

Turns out this “friend” is Not supportive at all and he pulls the

“Are you sure, you’re probably confused. I know you don’t understand a lot of things like most people.”

Which is devastating for Virgil to hear (especially from their first crush)

Virgil cries/panics

Thay later ask Dee if people who are autistic can be gay

Dee: “Why do you ask?”

Virgil: “because I think I’m gay? But can I be gay?”

Dee’s like I dunno let's check google

They find out autistic people can be gay

Dee thinks he’s gay too

So that's a thing

But Virgil sees Dee and him being gay and Virgil isn’t exactly that

Not quite

Virgil doesn’t really have much exposure to the queer community their age bc they dont have much exposure to kids their age in general

Plus they're still pretty young

But they do meet some of their moms trans friends

But that doesn't quite fit either

(They did borrow some of their moms’ skirts and makeup when they weren’t home and tried referring to themself as “she”)

Cue more googling

Finds nonbinary

Finds genderfluid, demigenders, agender, bigender, etc.

Its all really overwhelming

Virgil actually ends up having a shutdown and goes nonverbal

From there they’re just like ‘nonbinary is good enough’

Finds and tries they/them pronouns

By trying, they basically wrote a million sentences of “This is Virgil. He has a pet spider.” “This is Virgil. They have a pet spider.” “This is Virgil. She has a pet spider.”

So now that they knew who they were, it was time to decide if they were going to come out

The first person they brought it up with was Dee

Virgil: “I’m nonbinary I use they/them pronouns.”

Dee: “Okay chill, should I start calling you my sibling or?”

Virgil: “Brother is still fine.”

Dee: “alrighty.”

They came out to their moms at dinner a few days later

Virgil: “I’m gay”

Dee: “me too”

Virgil: “I’m also nonbinary and use they/them pronouns”

Moms, instantly: “Hi gays. Hi enby. We’re your moms”

Gay jokes instantly emerge very quickly

Dee and Virgil walk down stairs the next morning and dee just says “wow imagine what it would be like if we were straight??? Can you imagine having straight kids???” /j

And everyone just loses it

#autistic sides au #sanders sides #autistic virgil #virgil torres #dee torres #plot ask #au ask

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Note

Raphael and madzie!! please I will sell you my firstborn for some Raphael and madzie content. Like him babysitting and sleepovers and playing dress up and watching Disney movies together. Raphael wearing this tiara and him and madzie playing together. Baking and singing together, going on trips to the park together and Raphael just being so happy.-

-Like if you think about it they are technically cousins🤔 with the whole found family thing, Catarina and Magnus are siblings Raphael is Magnus’ son ergo madzie and Raphael are cousins but they still think of each other as siblings. Raphael is her big brother! Please🥺

ok anon i hope you know that you are literally my new favorite person in the whole wide world and this ask is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i will literally never shut the fuck up about raphael and madzie i will make this brotp a thing if it KILLS me just you watch

idk if id say they are technically cousins because i don’t know if catarina and magnus consider themselves siblings - definitely family for sure, but i get the feeling it’s more of a “generic” family feeling rather than a Specific Dynamic you know? but either way this is found family so it’s not like family tree/architecture is actually that stiff and matters that much, RAPHAEL IS MADZIE’S BIG BRO idc

and it’s literally canon that raphael is the best, most thoughtful, caring and dedicated older brother so like!!! honestly it’s what madzie deserves. she has a wonderful mom (two if you subscribe to dotarina raising madzie together <3) and underful uncles and a wonderful brother who is always on her side and would do anything for her, and that! is! fantastic!

especially because like madzie is implied to be used to big families, since iris was going around making an army of warlocks basically lmao and like of course that was an abusive family dynamic but the point is that she was used to having siblings. but she was also implied to be the eldest and now she is the youngest! and she gets to have a nice big bro who takes care of her and plays with her and has her as a priority and i just 🥺🥺🥺

and god not to be a slut for raphael and rosa but i picture raphael just telling madzie all that he could about rosa?? you know??? he’s all like “you have an older sister too, you know? it’s a shame you never got to meet” and madzie kind of tilts her head and asks him to tell her about it. so raphael does. he sits down with her and shows her pictures of the both of them together from their childhood up until her death, and he tells her all the stories he possibly can. he says, “she would have loved you just as much as me. she always wanted to be someone’s older sister. said she wanted to take care of them like i take care of her” and madzie is all like “she sounds sweet. i wanted to know her, too” and raphael tears up slightly and he’s like “yeah. yeah. me too, cariño” and she hugs him

and like not to slut over this but i like to think that raphael teaches madzie about the monarch butterflies and día de los muertos and one day they are playing outside and a monarch lands on madzie?? and madzie calls it “rosa” and the butterfly is just flying over her head, alternating between her and raphael, for the whole afternoon? and raphael chokes up. fuck it all the legends are true, i love this alright

just like.... obviously raphael’s relationship with madzie is not some kind of substitute for his relationship with rosa, because madzie deserves better than that and no one can be rosa but rosa. raphael loves madzie for madzie, because she is sweet but fierce, extremely intelligent and with a playful/slightly mischievous (in a good way) side that is slowly blooming as time goes by and she heals from her abuse more and more. she is also good, endlessly caring, kind, compassionate, imaginative, affectionate. madzie is madzie and that’s all she needs to be. but the idea that raphael has someone to share rosa with, even if madzie obviously doesn’t feel about her the same way raphael did as they never met, but to bring her into this new family in a way... and let madzie knows that she also has another sibling looking out for her, even if from another plane... that’s nice and good food okay. and i think madzie would want to know about her, just like she tells raphael about her other siblings from when she lived with iris, even if they never got to be too close (cuz i doubt iris would risk letting them become very close and eventually realize her abuse and possibly rebel against her)

maybe it’s madzie herself who brings it up, she asks raphael about the pictures in his home or about his “ave rosa” plaque 🥺 and he tells her about it and makes sure that she knows that he doesn’t love rosa more or less than he does madzie, just differently. they are both his little sisters no matter what

anyway! onto more rapha&madzie focused headcanons. first of all you are so correct about playing dress up and shit, raphael is a SIMP and a sucker for his lil sis so he absolutely will wear a tiara if she asks no questions asked. simon sees it one time and he doesn’t even consider making fun of him because raphael shoots him a glare that absolutely reads as “i double dare you, motherfucker”. not because uwu girly stuff just because he has this whole serious vibe and there he is with a tiara and tiny braids. we stan

also look i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, raphael absolutely learns how to handle black/kinky hair for madzie. he was used to doing rosa’s hair but that was very likely straight or just wavy hair. madzie’s hair texture is different and raphael makes it a point to learn everything he can about how to take care of it and make hairstyles that she might like and won’t hurt her, okay? and yes i know that madzie straightens her hair but i like to think that over time she stops. i kinda headcanon that one of the reasons she did it was to look closer to iris, plus just the fact that as a white abuser i doubt she exactly planted it on madzie to love her natural hair. but over time living with catarina and being closer to a mostly-poc family and seeing maia and other beautiful black women with their natural hair and/or afro hairstyles, she stops straightening it, and everyone encourages her, raphael included. he even uses that, like, “i’ve been learning how to do these hairstyles for you, you know” and he shows her some and she gets so excited about trying them and it’s great

(initially he has catarina’s supervision, because again black hair is important and even if raphael is a moc he’s still nonblack. but catarina trusts him and he’s always so careful and makes sure to always listen to what she says, asks questions and all but takes notes lmao, so it works)

and baking!!! i mean look madzie is gonna be naturally prone to liking to bake, as a warlock and shit. and if regular kids already play with making potions, warlock kids are definitely even worse, especially because she does see catarina, dot, and magnus doing that all the time so it’s one of the things that she likes to mimick. and baking is basically potion making but edible and solid lmao. but like she loves it, mixing the batter, adding sprinkles, seeing as the textures change and the taste builds and stuff like that, you know? she’s definitely fascinated by it especially because she does it without magic and it’s just, wow, so cool to her?? and raphael as the cook that he is is more than happy to teach her, bake with her, and see her enthusiasm. raphael with oven mitts taking a batch of cookies out of the oven yall. i need a second

and like i absolutely subscribe to genius madzie because LOOK that girl is endlessly fucking smart and so intelligent especially for her age, not to mention powerful and observant and just, she’s brilliant. and with both catarina and magnus, huge nerd extraordinaires, and possibly maia because i like to pepper in the fact that maia and raphael are dating, she gets all the incentive she could possibly want to want to learn about both mundane science and magical theory

but in short like! raphael getting her those chemistry sets for kids, you know? where you have some recipes and you can mix up ingredients and they change color or otherwise change and shit? my friend had one of those when we were kids and my god i loved it so much, i was just fascinated. i think madzie definitely would love it, and raphael knows that she will, so he takes a whole day off for when he brings her this gift because he knows they will be playing all afternoon. and they do! she’s super excited about it and raphael as usual is all careful and teaching her how to do it properly without spilling and taking the measures appropriately and stuff. and it’s super sweet

initially they follow the recipes and raphael’s autistic ass is just delighted to do that, but madzie quickly starts doing some #improv, and again, because she is a genius, she quickly starts to figure out what each substance does. so she’s texting theories, trying out experimenting, seeing if she’s right, trying to asses her work? you know? basically literally a mini scientist using the scientific method and stuff and raphael is so proud of her and in awe of how smart she is and he tells her that she’s the smartest kid he’s ever met and kisses her forehead and she giggles and is just super excited??

also sometimes she asks raphael what he thinks and he’s just like “uhhh” because he has no idea lmao he’s just happy to see her do her thing and help her with the practical parts. and she giggles at him and she’s lowkey outraged but again, she’s just sweet and he loves her

i also 100% think it was madzie who figured out a potion to make raphael able to eat (oh look what is this fic that mentions that doing here) because FUCK mundane raphael all my homies hate mundane raphael, the heavenly fire made him a daylighter. and she could see how sad raphael was that he didn’t get to eat at all, especially because he clearly loved food and he always had this sort of longing when they were cooking together, you know? it also made her sad that he couldn’t try her cooking, and he was always telling her that to cook, you need to always taste what you’re making, and once she says “but you can’t do that” and he looked so sad she immediately felt bad about it, even if obviously it isn’t her fault

anyway my point is she knows how much this means for raphael and she wants him to be able to eat human food again, both for him and for herself. so she spends a long time studying vampire anatomy/digestive system, food properties, and magic, and she eventually figures out a potion that he can take before a meal that makes him able to eat. it goes slowly, initially he can only drink, but eventually she does figure out a way to make him eat anything and he just cries like a baby tbh. she is worried for a second but then he takes her in his arms and hugs her fiercely and peppers kisses on her face and says that this is one of the best things anyone’s ever done for him and that he’ll “forever be in her debt” or something that makes her laugh because raphael doesn’t owe her anything, he’s her brother. and he tears up all over again

of course that takes some years but they’re immortal so who cares. and catarina is SO proud of her little genius for that, too. raphael and maia include the potion as courtesy for any vampire who orders food at taki’s and share the recipe and it’s just a small revolution in the vampire world and madzie is already making history like hot damn. GENIUS MADZIE OKAY

but of course first and foremost she is a kid and deserves to be a kid, i just love her being naturally curious and interesting in researching and learning and stuff. but of course they also play a lot, and keep trying to out-cheat each other as she has magic and he has super abilities and the game becomes more seeing who can cheat the most and get away with it than anything else lol. and it’s its own brand of fun

also, raphael keeps trying to get madzie to eat healthy but the second he averts his eyes she’s like “abrakadabra this is now ice cream” and he’s SO frustrated. absolutely nothing can stop her from doing it. “if you eat these carrots i’ll buy you ice cream later”. guess what she can just turn it into ice cream now. your tactics are meaningless

also madzie playing dressing up! and she wants to be Stylish like her mom and her big bro and her uncle magnus but of course she’s a kid so her sense of style is essentially book magnus lmao but raphael 100% indulges her in all her endeavours and helps her make her outrageous outfits and shit. she likes colorful stuff as we’ve seen and he paints her nails and stuff. sometimes she makes herself mini suits mimicking or straight up matching raphael’s and raphael thinks it’s the cutest thing. especially when she like, imitates his blazer but keeps wearing a boa as well or something. aioudjsauihda i love kids and fashion can you tell

and she sometimes picks out clothes for him and guess what? raphael 100% wears them because it’s madzie and he is s o f t for her

and singing!!! and DANCING!!! there is no way raphael can’t dance no matter how hard he tries to pretend otherwise, and between him, dot, and magnus, madzie just loves to dance and becomes a great dancer in no time. raphael loves twirling her around. also him teaching her the jarabe tapatío you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t be all over that shit. the playing with the dress, the bright colors, dancing around the sombrero.... bitch she would love it. and they have so much fun doing their little improvised version of that and she claps and he has his hands behind his back and has the greatest smile on his face and she’s having so much fun

also raphael loves reading for her!!!! and eventually when they move away from reading books with pictures she starts creating her own “holograms” to illustrate the stories with magic, and raphael is so proud of her!! she’s just immensively creative and makes such beautiful illustrations for the stories and as raphael reads she changes around the setting she’s creating and it’s so fun and they both like it so much?? and she eventually falls asleep on his lap and he tucks her in and kisses her forehead and 🥺🥺

she also likes to paint and idk why but i have a feeling that raphael fucking sucks at painting, so that’s funny and he smiles and says that she has so much more talent than him...

and every time they are together raphael has the hugest smile on, it just doesn’t leave his face for a second. especially when they are playing outside in the sun and he just so fucking happy and basking in the warmth and playing with her, you know? and as madzie grows older, talking and just chilling together as well? you know? he just loves her so much and his cheeks almost hurt by the end and just aaaaaaaaa they are the sibling dynamic we DESERVE and DEMAND

#raphael santiago #madzie loss #shadowhunters #sh #brotp: a bright new sky #ask #anonymous #long post #like really long i got excited but i don't regret anything #rosa santiago #brotp: they're the same stars in mexico #maiaphael #real quick mention but there #catarina loss

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pneumasthesia · 3 years

Text

Epilogue

“Hey, kid! Your time’s up. Get out so the real psychologists can use the room” says a mildly annoyed voice from outside the room.

“Yes, yes, yes, of course. Just give us a moment and we’ll be right out” responds the therapist, with more than a mild tone of annoyance.

“Come on, sleeping beauty, we’re going to have to end the show here and get out now” he says, shaking awake the middle-aged woman passed out on a reclining chair in front of him.

“Ugh, just when I had started to have an actually restful sleep. How annoying” the culprit sleepily responds.

“Oh, so you were actually sleeping this time” the therapist exclaims with further growing annoyance, “I had thought you were having another trip, but now that you’re done with that you’re just trying to fool me into letting you off any further examination, isn’t that right?”

“Obviously. I just relived the most traumatic moment in my life, of course I’d want a rest afterwards” she answers while getting off the chair to leave the examination room.

“That’s all well and good for you” says the therapist, his annoyance reaching its peak, “but some of us here have research to do and precious little time to get it done.”

“Don’t worry ‘Pet’, I’m not going anywhere” the culprit reassures, “I’ll surely be in this psychiatric ward for the rest of my life.”

The patient and doctor-to-be walk down the psych ward’s hallways, passing by patients and therapists alike on their way back to the culprit’s room.

“That’s exactly why I have to rush” the therapist says, a note of faint concern in his tone, “don’t you want to see the other pneumasthetes again?”

“Is that the name you’ve given us sufferers?” the culprit questions, “you’ve really taken to continuing the old man’s research, even using the same name for the disorder.”

“I may not have liked his methods or his reasons, but his hypotheses are still worth considering” Pet answers somewhat defensively, “besides, those theories of his are just as much mine.”

“Hmm? What do you mean? You came up with that fantastical theory?” the culprit says.

“I wouldn’t say it’s all that fantastical” the therapist explains, “given that it’s based on experience.”

The culprit suddenly halts her advance down the psych ward hallway and turns back to her therapist, mouth agape.

“You have pneumasthesia too?” she exclaims.

“Of course” Pet answers matter-of-factly, “you’ve seen through my eyes, I mean walked in my shoes, you must have noticed that.”

“I thought that those were my abilities” the culprit says with some degree of embarrassment.

“But you’ve never experienced those things before, have you?” the therapist questions, “from what I’ve gathered your particular type of pneumasthesia is based around seeing people as stock personality archetypes, whereas mine manifests as ‘seeing’ people’s current thoughts and emotions.”

The culprit starts walking again, deep in thought. Eventually she speaks up, “but that doesn’t explain what I experienced. I saw the thoughts and emotions that other people had in the past. Neither of our abilities can do that.”

“It’s not accurate to call our conditions ‘abilities’” the therapist explains, “if you talk about pneumasthesia like that, the other psychologists will discount my research as nonsensical postulating about ESP.”

“Is that not what it is?” the culprit rudely interjects.

“Hurtful, but not true this time” the therapist says with an amused chuckle, “from what little research I have been able to do, I can say with some certainty that there is a mostly logical explanation for everything we have experienced.”

“’Mostly, huh? Very well then, explain it to me, Professor” the culprit says with a wide smirk.

The therapist returns the smirk and begins “well, surely you remember the late Professor’s explanation?”

“Yes, empathy is supposedly a sixth sense all people possess and, in some people, these ‘pneumasthetes’, that sense becomes conflated with another sense” the culprit continues.

“Quite right” the therapist congratulates with the tone of a kind teacher, “in some cases, that is. For example, that young man had his personal empathic judgement of other people’s personalities conflated with his ability to perceive color.”

“Only his own judgement of personalities?” the culprit asks, “I thought empathy was some sort of secret infallible sense, not something that subjective.”

“No. Like I said, there is nothing fantastical about this condition” answers the therapist, “a less charitable psychologist may simply disregard that young man’s ‘powers’ as hallucinations since they are only based off how he subjectively views other people.”

He continues with his explanation “that is why he was unable to tell two people that he perceived as ‘Green’ apart. After you, the great blue ocean that you are, had a sudden change of heart, he perceived your ‘soul’ as that of a different person, due to his flawed judgement of your surface-level change in persona.”

“Hmm, alright, but that still doesn’t change why he couldn’t tell us apart without his color-personality hallucinations” the culprit says, “It’s not like he was blind as well.”

“Not blind, but face-blind” the therapist says.

“What?” the culprit says incredulously.

“It’s called Prosopagnosia. He generally just tells people apart by their hair, height, and clothes, but since you and the older man were similar in those regards, he had to rely on your colors to tell you apart” the therapist says, “it took a lot of testing to convince him that he had that condition. He was so adamant on insisting that he was ‘normal’.”

“Huh, so even he had a condition like that” the culprit says, contemplatively, “what about the others. What about that girl?”

“Her?” the therapist says, caught by surprise for a moment before beginning to smile at the culprit’s touching concern, “her condition is much simpler, she was highly empathic and sensed her exceedingly accurate judgements of people’s personalities as noise. It should have been a very easy condition to diagnose, but her Schizophrenic auditory hallucinations somewhat complicated my analysis.”

“Schizophrenia” the culprit muses, “I had thought her condition was more like mine, but that makes more sense.”

The therapist lets out a good-natured laugh, “well there was certainly something about you that made her open up to you more quickly than anyone else. It took me at least a dozen meetings to get her to speak. She just kept having those panic attacks whenever I was nearby.”

The culprit lets out a mocking laugh, “that’s to be expected. You try to pretend that you’re extremely empathic and all that, but deep down you’re just an awkward little kid.”

The culprit quickly transitions into another line of questioning, “speaking of awkward children, what about that strange older man?”

“Wow, that was extremely rude” the therapist notes, “it’s a good thing he’s not here so I don’t have to lie and tell you that your judgement is false. His condition is a little bit more complex. His sense of empathy is crossed with the part of his brain that recognizes quantities of objects.”

“Counting is its own sense?” asks the culprit, “I didn’t know that.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a sense per say” the therapist explains, “that’s why I said that the Professor’s explanation was incomplete. From what I’ve seen Pneumasthesia can include the crossing of empathy with less straightforward neurological processes.”

“Is that the reason why his judgement of other people was so flawed?” the culprit asks, “he even thought that I was kind and ‘complete’ or some nonsense like that.”

“I wouldn’t say that particular judgement of his was entirely wrong” the therapist says with a smile, “the fact that he is on the autism spectrum is probably the reason for his somewhat, let’s go with ‘awkward’ empathic senses.”

“Autism?” exclaims the culprit, nearly tripping on the stairs as the two pneumasthetes walk up them to her room, “that makes sense, but I wouldn’t have expected it from the way he acted.”

“Me neither” the therapist laughs to himself, and at himself, “I feel ashamed as a psychologist to have been so closeminded as to think that someone so functional in social situations couldn’t be autistic. He was simply well adjusted to working with his condition.”

The culprit is silent for a bit, reevaluating her judgement of the older man, before speaking up, “and what about that old lady? What was her deal?”

“Her ‘deal’, as you put it so crudely, is memory loss” the therapist answers.

“And what about her type of pneumasthesia?” the culprit probes.

“She didn’t have it, at least I’d wouldn’t say so from what I gathered” the therapist says with a shrug, “the Professor misdiagnosed her. These things happen.”

“Oh” the culprit ruminates on this thought before realizing something and speaking up, “wait, but what about yours and my conditions? That’s what I was asking about at the start and you didn’t answer.”

“Yes, yes, yes, of course. I was getting to that” the therapist says with a laugh, “I was just taking my time to ease into that whole complex affair.”

The therapist takes a deep breath as the two reach the floor that the culprit’s room is on, then begins his explanation, “my condition is fairly simple to explain because it’s the basis for the initial theory that guided the Professor’s research after he examined me. My sense of empathy is crossed with the part of my brain that recognizes visual information, but because my eyes do not function due to a birth defect, that part of my brain works entirely on processing empathic information, causing me to ‘see’ people’s thoughts and emotions with great clarity.”

“That’s basically what I figured that it was” the culprit says, “but you would only be able to see people’s current thoughts, right? How does that lead to seeing people’s memories?”

“That’s where your peculiar condition comes in” the therapist says, “I theorize that your sense of empathy, that being your subjective judgement of other people’s personalities, has been crossed with your long-term memory.”

The culprit appears befuddled by this explanation, “what exactly does that mean?”

“It means that when you first see a person, you judge them as possessing a particular set of personality traits, you then associate those traits with a familiar personality archetype in your head” the therapist theorizes, “in your case people are conflated with the archetypal Arcana of the Tarot.”

“So in simple terms, it’s a crossing of memory and empathy” the culprit suggests.

“Yes, you could say that” the therapist says.

“And you said it’s based off my ‘subjective judgement’, not anything more concrete than that” the culprit says.

“Yes, it’s no different than that young man’s condition” the therapist agrees, “well there is one difference, because this condition causes you to associate people you’ve just met with familiar archetypes, it causes you to falsely assume familiarity with people, potentially leading to an inflated sense of your own accuracy in your judgement of people’s personalities.”

The culprit gives a sharp laugh in response to this statement, “well, if you put it like that, it can hardly be considered a superpower at all, it’s basically a curse!”

The therapist does not smile in response to this self-deprecation, “I wouldn’t say it’s bad exactly. It’s just a different way to see the world.”

The culprit turns her head away from her therapist, “you are nice, you know that. Saying these things to me even after what I’ve done. Calling me a man and all that.”

“You may be a murderer, but your life is still your own” the therapist states without hesitating, “you should be able to enjoy it however you are able and make your own choices about how you want to spend it, and who you want to spend it being, so of course I’ll support your transition.”

The culprit turns his head back to his therapist, a wry smile on his effeminate face, “you’re sure that you don’t want to diagnose me with some sort of self-hating delusion? Something to do with my bipolar personality disorder, or whatever they call it?”

The therapist returns his patient’s mocking smirk, “it doesn’t matter if you believe you’re a man because you’re crazy or not. If it makes you happy, and you’re not hurting anyone, it’s not my job to tell you what to do.”

The duo begins to laugh to themselves as they stand in front of the entrance to the culprit’s room. The culprit stands with his back to the closed door, clearly not wanting to retreat to his quarters alone again.

After a moment of contemplation, the culprit speaks up, “so I know what my condition is, but how did that whole ‘memory trip’ thing happen?”

The therapist turns away for a moment and speaks with less confidence than usual, “I’m not fully sure in this case. That one was a first for me too. I just had a theory that if the two of us stimulated our empathy and memories with a few pointed questions, that something potentially therapeutic might happen. I can’t be sure that what I experienced was the same as what you experienced, but I have a vague idea as to why it happened.”

The therapist continues, “my condition causes me to perceive the emotions or others as if they were my own vision, and your condition causes you to perceive the emotions of others as part of your memory, so perhaps when the two of us began to look into each other’s heads, the thoughts of others and your memories were temporarily entangled, causing us to witness the memories of other people.”

“That seems like a leap of logic” the culprit says, “something like definitely sounds like Sci-fi nonsense. It’s not like either of us ever witnessed those memories ourselves, so how could they have been in our heads?”

“I don’t think those were anyone’s memories” the therapist says, “I think they might have been our own fabrications of what we thought their memories might have been.”

The culprit stares back at his therapist incredulously, “you mean that those things we witnessed were not the truth, that we just made them all up and thought they were other people’s memories?”

“Perhaps” the therapist reluctantly says.

The culprit slumps back on the door, “you’re telling me that none of that was what really happened?”

“No” the therapist answers, “but just because it was not true, doesn’t mean it can’t be useful to believe in it.”

The culprit answers back, “how can a lie help me understand the truth of myself any better?”

The therapist takes a long pause, contemplating how to say this, and finally speaks “all observation is a lie that our brains tell us. We have no way to know if our experience of the world is true, so all people experience their own false truth. I think that we should be allowed to believe in whatever lie about reality helps us live better.”

“I refuse to live a life built on a lie” the culprit states flatly.

The therapist looks disappointed, but not surprised, “I understand, but I think that lie did do good for you.” The culprit looks away, unwilling to admit to it. The therapist continues, “please, just think about it.”

The culprit does not respond, taking a long moment to sort through his thoughts. He doesn’t seem to come to a conclusion, and simply pushes those thoughts aside before saying, “so tell me, what actually happened, in the objective reality?”

The therapist gives a sad smile and begins to recount the “true” story of events, “what actually happened was that after we discovered the body, the police were called over and all of the people present were taken under custody for questioning. I was suspected at first, but suspicion was quickly dropped after it was discovered that I was blind. The investigation took quite a while, but after some handprint analysis on bloodstains found on the gun and the determination that you had Bipolar Personality Disorder, you were charged with the crime.”

“What does me being bipolar have to do with anything?” the culprit asks.

The therapist sighs, digging up unpleasant memories, “that investigation was not pretty. The police interrogated all the guests rather forcefully. Everyone present was considered guilty until proven innocent owing to their mental illnesses. The detectives in charge thought that any one of us could have been a psychopathic murderer. When they finally determined you to possess violent mood swings, they indicted you without any further investigation.”

“Are you saying that I may not have killed the Professor” the culprit questions, a faint note of hope in his voice.

“Do you truly not remember at all what happened in that room on that night?” the therapist asks.

“No” the culprit answers, “it’s all just a blur. It frightened me, thinking what I might have done in that moment.”

“You must have had some selective memory loss” the therapist postulates, “perhaps by separating your memory of yourself from your own personal memory, you constructed an archetypal personality distinct from yourself that you could blame for your own past actions.”

The culprit looks away from his therapist, ashamed. The therapist puts his hand on his patient’s shoulder, having to reach up quite a distance to do so, “it must have been an unconscious self-defense mechanism. Something like that is very common among sufferers of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’d know, I’ve had a lot of experience working with that condition.”

“Don’t tell me that you’re about to admit to having that condition too?” the culprit jokes.

“No, no, no” the therapist laughs, “but a previous patient of mine that you might know quite well did. One of my responsibilities as his assistant was to help him deal with his condition and calm him down when it flared up.”

The culprit is incredulous once again, “you mean to say that the Professor had PTSD? Is that why he shot at that girl in such a panic?”

“I believe so” the therapist says with a sigh, “his symptoms were very severe: hallucinations, panic attacks, violent tendencies. That wasn’t the first time that he’d struck out at some ghost of his mind’s invention, neither was it the last.”

“What do you mean?” the culprit asks.

“At the scene of the crime” the therapist hesitates, then speaks, “there were signs of a struggle.”

“What? I don’t remember any struggle.” The culprit says, realization beginning to dawn on him.

“From investigation that was done after the case was laid to rest, evidence was found that may suggest that the Professor was the one who attacked first, not you” the therapist says, looking his patient straight in the eye, at least as accurately as he can manage.

“You mean…” the culprit slides down the door he is leaning against and crumples down to the floor, “I killed him in self-defense?!”

“It is possible” the therapist says, “he was in a dangerous state of mind. Seeing you enter with a gun, he may have attacked you, and in the confusion, you may have accidentally ended his life without having truly intended to from the start. After a traumatic experience like that, you could have shut away that memory and convinced yourself that killing the Professor was not a mistake made in the heat of the moment, but a calculated plot from the beginning.”

The culprit holds his knees close to his chest and chuckles a bit to himself, “that seems like something I’d do. Even in a time like that, I couldn’t admit to myself that I could have made a mistake. That is some seriously destructive self-love.”

“Perhaps it was done out of self-hate, not self-love” the therapist suggests. The culprit stops laughing at this suggestion and looks away.

The two are silent for a long few seconds. Then, the therapist reaches his hand down to his patient to help him get up. As soon as he does this, the culprit stand up on his own, a smile having erased all other emotion that was on his face before.

“One last question” he blurts out, “I never got your name. What is it, in full?”

The therapist is taken aback, for numerous reasons, “I could have sworn that I introduced myself properly when we started the therapy session today.”

“You probably did, but I didn’t pay attention” the culprit says without any shame, “so tell me it again.”

The therapist seems mildly offended but shakes it off and says, “Peter Eric Tomas-Jacobs, that’s my full name.”

“Doesn’t that make your initials PETJ?” the culprit questions, “I thought you were the ‘PET’.”

“Well, at the time that we first met, my name was only Peter Eric Tomas” Peter answers, “the second family name is a recent addition.”

The culprit stares blankly as he ponders why this could be, before suddenly realizing. He shouts out, “y-y-you mean that you got married?”

Peter places his hand over his patient’s mouth to prevent the sound from traveling through the echoing psych ward hallway and says, “quiet down! I can’t let anyone else know that I’m married. The people here don’t even know that I have a boyfriend.”

The culprit looks more incredulous than he’s been throughout his entire pseudo-psychic mind-trip. His mouth is so agape beneath his therapists’ hand that he almost accidentally bites down on that hand. Eventually he whispers, “you swing that way?”

Peter gives a big smile, “yes, of course I’m into men, why do you think that I was flirting with you before?”

“So you were flirting with me!” the culprit shouts out and then realizes how loud he is being and shuts his own mouth.

“Of course not. I’m a happy newlywed, even if the two of us haven’t gotten the union properly officiated. Besides, if me and you were together than I’d be Mr. Tomas-Rider, which is a name I don’t like nearly as much, though when I do get my doctorate, Dr. Rider would be a pretty cool name” Peter muses to himself, “oh that reminds me, you probably don’t go by Regina anymore, so what should I call you now? Wait, let me guess … Reginald is your new name, right?”

“I go by Rex” says the culprit.

“Like, the dog name?” says Peter, now his turn to be incredulous.

“I think it’s a cool name, Rex Rider” the culprit chuckles to himself with unabashed pride, “it struck fear in the hearts of all the girls I faced in the ring when I was in prison.”

“Oh right, I do remember that in your file” Peter says, “you were the undefeated boxing champ at the woman’s prison. The resident therapist at that prison wrote about it as evidence of your ‘persistent innate violent tendencies’.”

“It’s not my fault if I’m good at being a boxer” the culprit says, pride not fading one bit, “I have the physique of a natural-born man and all the time in the world to train. I just wish I could have some opponents more my size.”

Peter smiles at that, happy that his patient has some hopes for the future, no matter how small, “if I can prove to the world that your condition is real and not just some dangerous hallucination, then you might be able to get out of this place and do some real boxing.”

The culprit smiles, joy and melancholy both mixed in his expression, before turning away, opening the door to his quarters and entering, “then I’ll be waiting for you, as long as necessary, my savior.”

Peter looks blankly down at his toes, smiling the same smile, “you might have to wait for a while yet, maybe longer than a lifetime.”

The culprit’s expression does not change, “That’s fine. I expected that, but I’m glad you’re trying, for everyone’s sake.”

The culprit suddenly turns back, startling his “savior”, and says “there’s one more thing that I want to tell you?”

Peter answers back in an apprehensive tone, “what is it?”

“I just need to get this off my chest?”

“Yes?”

“I need to tell you how I feel.”

“You feel …”

“I… I…”

“…”

“I really don’t like you.”

“I could say the same thing.”

“Then go on and say it, right to my face.”

“I absolutely despise you.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But it’s what you meant.”

“You know me so well. That’s definitely what I hate the most about you.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

“I hope I never see you again.”

“I wish for the same, but it seems that we can’t be rid of each other that easily.”

“What a shame.”

“Well, see you tomorrow?”

“I will, but I don’t think that you will see me any time soon.”

“If you make that joke one more time, I will have you sent back to the prison.”

“Well, fuck you too!”

“Fuck you and I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Fantastic, I’d love that!”

“The feeling is mutual!”

The culprit slams his door on his therapist, the widest smiles of each of the pair’s lives on their faces. It had been an eternity, it had been several years, it had been a few hours, but at long last, they could finally begin, to understand.

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benedictsvestcollection · 4 years

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Be With Me- Modern Din/OC fic (AO3)

Chapter One: You can't keep the ground from shaking, no matter how hard you try.

Din Djaren was a bounty hunter. He worked from the road mostly. Had a camper van and a motorbike attached to the back of said van. His van had a bed, a small kitchenette and more recently… A very special and gifted child.

The child wasn’t supposed to be kept. He was actually supposed to be delivered to a company that wanted to use him. And once Din realized that, his conscience got the better of him and basically flipped the bird to the CEO, Moff Gideon and kept the child with him. The child was a foundling, an orphan… Much like he was when he was young.

He noticed rather quickly that the boy was special. That he had some sort of telekinesis powers. Which sounded like something out of a science fiction novel and he would have snorted at it and called someone a goddamn idiot. But he’d now seen what this kid was capable of. At only three years old, he was special. But he also seemed to have some kind of a disability, but he had no idea how to deal with it. So he cared for the boy as best as he could. He had the kid with him for about nine months now. Traveling the country, doing jobs and enjoying the peace (mostly) that came from the road.

Currently, they were in Washington State. A man had contacted his boss, Greef Karga… Hiring a bounty hunter for a private gig. To find a woman, Aurora Daniels and bring her back to him. He’d told them that she was his girlfriend and was worried that she had been taken. That was about a week ago. A quick look into her social media said she’d gone dark. The woman knew how to disappear, Din had to hand it to her.

But he’d found her in a small-ish town in North Washington State. Din was parked in a parking lot where the woman had been shopping in a Walmart. He watched as she came out, always looking around. She was nervous. Why?

He looked at the kid and handed him his favorite coloring book. “Stay here, okay?” He asked him. The kid smiled at him and nodded, not speaking as usual. He started coloring and Din slowly got out of the van. Careful to look like he was just heading into the store, and not there for her.

She was dressed in a sundress and low heeled ankle boots. She had a backpack, a medium sized duffel, and a few shopping bags of food and other essentials. Telling Din she was most definitely on the run from something or someone.

Finally, when he was close enough to her. He gently took her by the wrist and pulled her against an SUV. “Don’t scream. I’m here to help you. Your boyfriend has been worried about you.” He told her softly, in a hushed tone.

Aurora’s bright blue eyes widened when she was pulled away and met with brown eyes. They flashed when the man mentioned her ex. What a fucking joke, he was worried about her? “Oh yeah? I’m sure he’s very worried where his punching bag went.” She snapped at the stranger and wretched her arm out of his grasp.

She ran her hand through her brown hair, giving Din a look at old bruising on her arm. It was about a week old. Right around the time the boyfriend had called Greef. Din’s jaw clenched at the idea of a woman being beaten. “He do that to you?” He asked her quietly.

Aurora met his gaze again. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg, what he’s done to me.” She told him softly. She paused, wondering how much to tell this stranger about her ex. Finally, she gave in. “Time before this, he beat me so bad I was in the hospital for a week. Broken leg, busted nose and a couple of bruised ribs. But… His dad is a cop and they hid what he did.” She told him softly, whispering in case others heard her. “But they couldn’t hide my hospital record from the stay.”

“Jesus.” Din muttered, he made a mental note to call Greef and ask him to look into this asshole. Greef had connections all over the country with cops and might be able to look into it. “I’m sorry… The client… Your ex, he didn’t tell us much. Just said he was worried about you.” He tried to meet her gaze, to show her he didn’t mean her any harm. “Okay? And….” Fuck, for the second time in less than a year… Din was about to not deliver to a client. Because fuck that asshole. “Look… I’ve got to check on something… Please, come with me while I call my boss about this? You’ll be safe with me. I promise.”

Understandably so, Aurora was skittish. But honestly, knowing her ex was looking for her was fucking terrifying and for whatever reason… She trusted this man before her. Despite not even knowing his name. “I…” She suddenly slumped against the car behind her in exhaustion. “Okay.” She agreed.

Din gently took her elbow and guided her to his big silver camper van. Aurora was surprised to see a young boy in the passenger seat. Contentedly coloring away in his superhero book. “I uh… He’s a bit shy but he’s sweet.” Din told her as he opened the side of the van. Revealing the bed and kitchenette area in the back. He took his phone out of his back pocket and called Greef.

Aurora set her things on the ground of the van and sat down delicately on the edge of the bed. Not sure what to do or say. The boy turned in his seat and smiled at her, he still didn’t speak but he crawled out of his seat. Coloring book and box of crayons in his arms and he made his way to Aurora. She watched fondly as the boy helped himself up onto the bed where she sat and showed her his coloring jobs proudly.

“Wow, these are great.” She told him with a smile, studying the boy she wondered how old he was. He couldn’t have been more than three.

He squealed in excitement at her compliment, which caused Din to turn while on the phone with Greef. He smiled at seeing the boy interact with someone else.

“Din. Looks like this client is an asshole. Not only does he have a history of violence. But, it looks like the FBI is investigating him for drug running.” Greef told him on the other end of the phone. “Now your young lady on the other hand? Not even a parking ticket as far as I can find. Pays her taxes, parents are deceased and one sibling that lives in some kind of a group home. The only records I can find on her are hospital records, most likely from her man.” Greef snorted, Din could tell he was disgusted as well.

Din kept his eyes trained on the kid and Aurora. She was showing him how to stay inside the lines of his pictures and he was fascinated watching her with the kid.

“Tell the client I couldn’t find her. Give him a refund for all I care. I’m not letting him near her if I can help it.” Din growled lowly through the phone.

“What are you gonna do? Bring someone else on the road with you?” Greef asked him in disbelief. Din was notorious for being a loner. He was still having a hard time believing he kept the kid.

“If she wants. Yeah. The kid seems to like her, maybe she’d be willing to watch him for me in exchange for protection and a bed.” With that, he hung up the phone and strode back over to the opened side of the van. He cleared his throat quietly and the boy looked up at Din and beamed. He squealed and without warning, jumped into his arms. Throwing his arms around his neck. “Hey kid.” He told him softly as he held him close and looked at Aurora. “I’m Din by the way.” He told her.

“Nice to meet you Din.” She told him softly and then considered her next words. “Is he… Autistic? I-I only ask because my younger brother is and well… He reminds me of my brother in that way.” She explained gently.

Din was surprised, but her sibling living in a group home made sense now especially if she couldn’t care for him as an adult. “I-... I don’t know.” He admitted. “He was… I was supposed to deliver him to a client but…” He trailed off, almost ashamed that he was going to turn the kid over at all.

“Oh… Well, he’s very sweet.” She told him and simply stared at both of them as the boy fell asleep on Din’s shoulder.

“He is.” He agreed with a nod. Wondering how to broach the subject. “Look… My boss, he looked into your ex. He seems like a dangerous asshole. I told him to tell him that I didn’t find you.”

She stared at him, wide eyed that he’d done that for her. “Thank you.” She whispered at him.

“You’re welcome.” He paused. “I don’t… I don’t feel right leaving you alone. He’s just gonna send someone else after me, to find you.” He said gently. “I thought maybe… That is if you’d like… You could stay with us on the road. Could use some help with the kid while I take other bounty jobs. You seem… With your brother, you might be able to help him.”

Aurora was speechless. He was offering her, what… A job?

“You’d have a bed to sleep in and I’d keep you safe from anyone. Plus, I’ll pay you for watching the kid.” He explained hesitantly.

“I-...” She thought about it for a moment. He had a point, she knew her ex well enough to know he’d just keep coming for her. And Din looked like he would know how to protect her should anyone else come after her. “Yes. I’ll come.” She finally finished her thought with a nod.

“Yeah?” He sighed in relief as he climbed into the back of the van and gently laid the kid down in the bed so he could nap. “You can uh… Sit up front if you want. He’ll be out for awhile anyway.” He explained.

She put her few groceries away in a cabinet and grabbed her backpack before crawling into the passenger seat and buckling up. Soon, they were on the road and rode in a comfortable silence.

“Does he have a name?” She asked him suddenly, drawing Din out of his own head.

He was almost surprised because he hadn’t had anyone to actually talk with in a while. “I don’t know.” He admitted. “They didn’t give me a name when I was assigned to... “

“Oh…. And how long has he been with you?” She asked him curiously, blue eyes searching him as they talked.

Damn, her eyes were distractingly beautiful. Big and wide and the bluest he’d ever seen. “About nine months.”

“You’ve had this boy for nine months, raising him as your own and you haven’t given him a name?” She asked him, unable to hide her shock.

Din sighed. “Yes.” He struggled with his next words. “I didn’t want to… Name him and get attached. In case I find his family.” His voice faltered a little at the last part.

“Oh I see.” She told him, if she heard his voice break she didn’t say anything. “Well, I’m happy to help with him. Is there… Anything else I need to know about him?”

“He’s… Special. Has special abilities, I mean.” He told her. “I know that sounds batshit crazy but… It’s true. Seen them myself.”

“What? What kind of abilities?” She asked him in shock.

“He can move things with his mind. A company was wanting him for themselves. To study him. Turn him into some kind of a lab rat.” He shook his head in disgust. “I couldn’t… Could do that to him. He’s just a kid.” His hands were gripping the wheel of the van so tightly, his knuckles were turning white.

Her gentle hand found his forearm. “You did the right thing. Kids deserve to be kids. Sometimes… They don’t have a choice but to grow up too fast but you stopped that from happening to him.” She whispered to him.

Din wondered if she was speaking from experience about growing up too fast. But he didn’t press it. “Yeah… You’re probably right.”

“Plus he obviously adores you so…” She teased him before she went back to staring at her phone in her hands. She still had it off but she was debating on just throwing it out the window. She didn’t want her ex to find her.

Din noticed her and after several more minutes of silence he spoke. “I can get you another phone if you want. That way I can call you as needed and he won’t find you. Plus, you can keep in touch with my boss if you need another contact to help.” He told her, eyes never leaving the road.

“I-... You don’t have to do that.” She told him with a shake of her head.

“Yes I do. I’ll need to keep in touch with you if I’m gone on a bounty and this way your ex can’t track you.” He shrugged as if it were obvious.

“I can’t afford a new phone.” She told him softly, obviously embarrassed.

“I can. We’ll get you that and a new number. We’ll go through Seattle tonight. Get a room for the night. I could use a shower and the kid needs a bath. Then, in the morning we’ll get you a new phone.”

“If you’re sure…” She told him hesitantly, not wanting to be a burden.

“I’m sure. I told you I’d keep you safe and I intend to do just that.” He promised her gently.

“I-... Thank you Din.” She told him and smiled at him.

“You’re welcome… Aurora.” He tested out her first name and found that he liked it on his tongue. Almost sounded like a dream to him. And maybe she was. But he realized if she was, he didn’t want to wake up if it was.

#my writing #The Mandalorian #AU #Din Djaren #Din Djaren x OC #Pedro Pascal #yo I did a thing ya'll #love me #also I posted the chapter here under the cut and a link to my AO3

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kingsuckjin · 5 years

Text

The Enigma of Bunny | Pt.3

Pairing: Jungkook, Yoongi, Jimin, Jin, Taehyung(soon) x reader also featuring Hobi and Namjoon

Genre: fluffy fluff fluff, angst, smut (later) mystery, horror, yandere stuff later

Warnings: heavy talk of mental disorders and abuse (therapy) Jungkook has a weird episode that I can’t really explain now but just be weary. Eventual dark and yandere themes.

Synopsis: You find a very sick young man in an alley and out of the bottomless barrel of kindness that is your heart, you decide take him home. Only then do you realize this stranger doesn’t speak, but that’s not the only strange thing about him by far. Who is he? Where did he come from? What happened to him? And why can’t he remember anything or even speak?

Words:4.3kish

Tag list: If you want added to the tag list so you get notifications for new chapters then just let me know.

@rikkafunthepureone @illnevertrustmyselfagain @sam-moss

Prev // next

“Noona! Noona, Noona, Noona!”

“You really don’t need to wake her, I’m just here to-”

“Noona!”

You let out a sigh as you rolled out of bed and quickly but still groggy, headed off towards the calls to find Jungkook standing in the lounge with Yoongi who looked to be holding something.

“Sorry- I didn’t mean to wake y-”

“Noona.” Jungkook said as he pointed at Yoongi.

“I know Jungkook. That’s Yoongi. He lives over there, he’s been here before.” You pointed to the direction he lived in as you reminded him.

“So he has a name?” Yoongi asked as you walked closer to them to take a look at what he had in hid hands, a plastic tupperware container.

“Yeah, he named himself.”

“Jungkook.” He pointed to himself seeming to introduce himself to Yoongi, but Yoongi ignored it.

“I thought you…” he trailed off.

“I did but the police couldn’t find who he was and made me come get him because he was crying for me.”

Yoongi cracked a smile of amusement along with a brief laugh.

“Well, whatever. I brought you brownies. I made too many.” He said and held the container forward for you to take.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment.

“Thank you!”

“I really didn’t have anything else to do with them besides throw them away.” He shrugged.

“I still appreciate it. Hey, do you think maybe you could come with me later to do something if you’re not busy later? I kind of need a favor-”

“Yeah.” You were cut off speaking by his fast reply. “Well, what is it? I might have time… probably.”

“Its for Jungkook over here. He has no clothes and I don’t know how long he’s going to be here and he can’t keep wearing my clothes and-”

“Obviously.” Yoongi said looking over the tight pink pajamas he was wearing. You went on anyway ignoring his comment.

“And I don’t know anything about men’s clothes or what men need. I think I need to shave him but I don’t know how?”

“Shave him?” He asked with raised eyebrows.

“His face, yeah. I don’t know how good he’d look with a biker beard.”

“I’ll help.” Yoongi agreed.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” You jumped around as you said. You felt relieved that you didn’t have to try to figure this out all by yourself now.

“When?”

“When are you free?” You replied.

“Well I mean I’m not doing anything right now…”

You clapped your hands together with a smile.

“Yes! Let me go get dressed and grab Jungkook’s only clothes.” You raced off and hurriedly got dressed.

When you returned with Jungkook’s neatly folded clothes he began to strip until you stopped him and pushed him into the bathroom and closed the door.

“So hes like… actually mentally…?” Yoongi whispered to me.

“He’s smart.” You replied defensively.

“But he just…”

“But he catches onto things so quickly. He figures things out sometimes by himself. I-I don’t know. I’m no psychologist but if he was disabled he would’ve learned all these things already, he would’ve seen them being done and copied whoever cared for him. He’s learning to speak so fast. I… I kind of- I just have this feeling something happened to him and I don’t know why. It’s hard to explain.”

“Maybe you should have him see a doctor.” Yoongi suggested to you as Jungkook came out fully dressed. Before you even put your shoes on he was putting his on. He had already realized you all were leaving.

You put yours on too and as you stepped out of the apartment complex all together. Jungkook grabbed your hand and placed it on his muscled upper arm.

“Why is he making you do that?” Yoongi had seen the gesture.

“Well the first time we went out he was distracted by a lot of stuff and he took off once in the store, he’s also a little jittery. This way I can guide him, stop him, and lead him, we do it every time we go somewhere. I think it might be a comfort thing for him at his point.”

“What do you mean?”

“It makes him feel safe. I’ve noticed that there’s a couple things he likes doing that makes him feel safe, that’s why I think something happened to him.”

“Like what? What are the things?”

“Well first of all he flips out if I leave him. He doesn’t like knocking at the door or loud noises.” You looked to Jungkook to give him a quick smile that he returned.

“He squeals every time I knock.” Yoongi replied.

“He also likes me calling him by his nickname, or well, what I named him first.”

“So you don’t think he might be autistic? My cousin is on the autism spectrum.” Yoongi came right out and asked.

“I don’t really know what the qualifications for that are. He doesn’t seem slow at anything, just new at everything, absolutely everything.” You shrugged.

“So whats the deal with that? Do you like help him go to the bathroom or bathe him?” He asked.

“He can go to the bathroom himself.” You answered understanding Yoongi’s harmless curious questions about your guest.

“So do you bathe him?”

At this question though you went quiet for a few seconds, you decided it was best not to say a clear yes or no, just to explain.

“He acted like he had never even seen a bathtub before. But I think he can do it himself now after I did it for him.”

“That’s… strange. Your like… bathing a grown stranger man.”

You pouted as he once again judged you.

“Its not. Nurses help people do that stuff all the time, especially for the elderly or handicapped. Its not like I saw anything when I helped him anyway, I look away. I don’t think its very weird, he’s learning.”

“I guess you put it that way it’s not to bad. Its actually pretty sweet of you.”

You now beamed at Yoongi after he said this as it restored your faith in him.

“Noona.” Jungkook pointed to graffiti on the side of a building depicting a very realistic cat.

“Cat. It’s a cat.” He replied in a full, clear sentence.

“Nice job!” You gave his arm a proud squeeze as you cooed.

“Noona.” He said and pointed at a bus.

“Bus.” You told him.

“Its a bus.” He now seemed to mutter to himself trying the sentence on the new word. His parroting had evolved.

You admit you didn’t really like going out like this before, but now just hearing his vocabulary grow made you want to keep him out all day.

“Good job.” You whispered to him.

“Jungkook good job?” He asked.

“Jungkook did a good job.” You replied correcting him and also telling him.

“Noona did a good job… noona… noona tell Jungkook, cat, bus, star.” He looked down at you with fondness.

“What?” Yoongi asked probably confused by the seemingly random words, but you knew.

“Are you thanking me for teaching you?” You asked Jungkook and his face lit up at my words letting me know you were right as he nodded.

“Yes! Thanking you.”

“You mean thank you.” You corrected.

“Noona thank you.”

There was something powerful about him thanking you, showing his appreciation for something you were trying so hard at helping him with. It wasn’t just his look of appreciation this time, he had decided to struggle with his words just to let you know he appreciated your efforts.

“You’re welcome.” Was the only uncomplicated reply you could think of, but it didn’t serve how you felt justice.

“He’s… actually not as bad at talking as I thought.” Yoongi admitted.

“He couldn’t even put together sentences before yesterday. He didn’t know any words when I found him. I think he learned them from me and dramas.”

“Oh. Wow… wait. Have you ever thought Korean just might not be his first language?” Yoongi asked before getting Jungkook’s attention and saying something in English but he obviously didn’t understand.

“Well that still wouldn’t explain him not knowing what a bath was or how to drink from a cup, I’m pretty sure they do those things in other countries as well.” You pointed out.

“Odd. Very odd.” Yoongi cocked a brow at Jungkook as if he were a puzzle that had yet to be solved.

You all went in clothing store after clothing store, picking him up item after item.

Even though Yoongi mostly only wore black you noticed he had quite an eye for fashion and you were glad for that. You even had Jungkook help by picking between some items. You had him try on so many things and you were pretty happy about getting to dress him up like a living doll. He had a nice body, nice face and a nice haircut so almost anything you put him in looked good. You went a little overboard but that was fine since you had a nice big chunk of savings put away from all this time living alone and only having to care for yourself, so you didn’t mind splurging on pricey things for him.

You also picked up some nice stuff for yourself and Yoongi couldn’t help but join in and buy some things for himself too. You were surprised when you suggested something would look good on Yoongi and he immediately snatched it up and bought it.

During the little outing together you all had some lunch. You finally asked him about what he did for work and you were amazed to find out he produced music so he worked from home too.

Jungkook seemed to kind of take a liking to him too and on the way home Jungkook did what he always did with you to learn words.

“Yoongi.” Jungkook pointed to a kid riding a bike.

“Bike.” Yoongi replied and Jungkook repeated it back possibly to remember it.

“Yoongi.” Jungkook pointed again as we walked by a river.

“River. It’s water.” Yoongi told him.

“Bath?” Jungkook asked.

“No, not like a bath.” Yoongi laughed and you smiled.

You went back to your place where Yoongi taught and helped you shave Jungkook’s face with a razor and shaving cream.

“Hold still, Bunny.” You had to remind him a few times.

“Bunny still.” Jungkook replied and would sit still for only a few moments before fidgeting again.

“Well stop talking before I accidentally cut your lip off.” Yoongi told him as he concentrated on his face.

You thanked Yoongi before he left and you two got each others numbers, his reason being he could help with him if you ever needed it.

Jungkook looked happier and much better in his own new pajamas and freshly clean and bathed after disappearing off into the bathroom for a while by himself. It kind of sparked pride in you. He deserved it for working so hard.

You decided that you’d attempt to make an appointment to have him seen by a psychologist or something to see what they had to say about him. You didn’t care if there was “something wrong with him” as some people would put it, you just wanted to better be able to understand him even though he seemed to understand you just fine. You wanted a professional opinion to see what they thought about him, why they thought he was the way he was.

You heard the tv on all night and Jungkook seemingly talking to himself. At one point you peeked into the lounge to check on him to find him saying back phrases from shows. It was around one in the morning and he looked tired but he was learning, he was up doing his best and it warmed your heart.

You walked into the living room and he didn’t notice you at first but when he did it took him by surprise and he jumped.

“Lets go to bed Jungkook.” You told him and turned off the tv before covering him up. He got the message and laid back on the sofa.

You went to pull away and go back to bed but he put your hands on your arm stopping you.

“Noona, thank you.” He said and you could feel his appreciation once again, you could see it in his big brown eyes that looked up at you.

“You’re welcome, Bunny. Goodnight.” You told him and he let you go to bed and so did he.

There was a loud yell and at first you thought you were dreaming until you heard it again followed by a loud thump.

It was Bunny.

You jumped from your bed and into the living room that was only lit by the television to see Jungkook tangled in blankets and seemingly fighting with nothing and rolling on the floor.

“Bunny! Bunny Bunny.”

You ran to his side and knelt on the floor, dodging his flying fists as you did so. You managed to grab both his wrists and his eyes flew open.

He panted hard as he just stared up at you. His eyes were big and glossed with horror as he breathed hard. You helped pull him to a sitting position on the floor seeing as he was now much calmer and now staring just straight ahead until you spoke.

“Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?” Your voice was gentle and quiet which was a sharp contrast to the commotion a moment ago.

He just looked at you still breathing hard, looking like he was deciding not to answer this time.

Your hand went to his firm back and rubbed gentle circles until his breathing slowed down and he seemed to shake off however he felt.

If he didn’t want to talk about it, you weren’t going to make him.

“Bunny okay.” He finally told you before getting back up on the sofa to lay down but you still looked at him with concern.

“Promise. Sleep, okay?”

You finally nodded before heading back to your bed. You however didn’t go to sleep immediately, but stayed up for a while just to make sure he was okay.

The next morning he ate his cereal and drank his banana milk and watched more dramas as you called around to try to make him an appointment to see someone. You found out it was pretty hard to do for someone with no identity, but after explaining his story one psychologist they had agreed to see him later on that day most likely out of curiosity.

After you were off the phone you sat down with Jungkook who had just come back from putting his dishes in the sink.

“Noona. How are you today?” He asked before you could say anything and you couldn’t help but be astonished at his perfectly put together question.

“Good. Happy. You’re doing a good job at learning. How are you today?”

“Uhh…” He looked to either be thinking or choosing words “happy.” He stated “Noona…uhh making… Jungkook happy. Noona… cares Jungkook…?” He tailed off at the end like a question, like he was unsure of his words.

“I do care about Jungkook.” You smiled and upon hearing this he smiled back.

“I do care about noona.” He said back just the way you had, but replacing the names.

“Thank you, that means a lot to me.” You replied “Jungkook, how would you feel about going somewhere to talk to someone today?” You decided to break the news.

“Uhhh…” he seemed to think again “Jungkook talking… not good.”

“I know, but that’s okay.” You assured him.

“Noona won’t leave?”

You and you understood that he was wondering if you were going to leave him there like at the police station.

“No no, I won’t leave you there. I’ll stay.”

“Kay.” He seemed very pleased by your answer.

When he got dressed you couldn’t help but admire just how absolutely normal he looked, but how else was he supposed to look though? disheveled? He pretty much knew how to take care of himself now but you were just amazed at how little time it took him to learn and how fast he was at understanding things.

You explained all of this to the psychologist, how fast he learned, and how just a week ago he couldn’t talk or bathe himself. You talked about how he acted like he had never drank from a cup or seen a cat or bus or went to a store before you. You also talked about how he was so nervous and jumpy sometimes. You laid it all out for her in the little office as you sat on a sofa with Jungkook who was scooted close to you, seeming nervous and quiet but she seemed to be watching him carefully before she decided to talk with him a bit possibly to gauge his language skills.

“How are you today Jungkook?” She asked the same question he had this morning, you knew he had this one.

“Good.” He replied normally but bit his lip nervously.

“Why? What did you do today?”

“Jungkook ate- I ate… chips.” He seemed to correct himself and I could tell he was feeling under pressure right now. “I… had… bath. I… try to… learn.” He pieced things together slowly but the best he could.

“Good! Wow.” She said making him finally look proud instead of nervous “you teach yourself to talk?” She asked and he nodded.

“I see talking and… I… learn, I keep it.” He said and pointed to his head.

She now turned to you.

“When you first found him do you recall if there were any marks of possible abuse on his body?” She asked obviously thinking the same thing you had felt.

“No, he was just really sick and out of it. Honestly I thought he might die when I brought him home. He was really pale, he still is a little but there were no bruises or anything and he was dressed alright.”

“You said just a week ago he practically knew nothing and now he’s caring for himself and almost speaking in complete sentences. What I was thinking was that he already knew all these things, he’s just recalling these words and what they mean or remembering how to bathe once you show him. He doesn’t seem at all like hes on the autism spectrum. He does seem nervous around people but he’s still social and not too awkward and he doesn’t at all mind eye contact or touching since hes been holding onto you this whole time. But the nervousness might be due to trauma of some kind that he can’t recall. He can’t remember any of these things but they’re all still in the back of his mind somewhere. I’m honestly leaning towards amnesia from some kind of dis-associative amnesia from some sort of traumatic event.” She explained.

“I thought amnesia only happened from bumps on the head or something.” You really knew nothing about this.

“No, not at all. Psychogenic amnesia happens if a person is just under a crazy amount of stress over something. If this is true he might also be suffering from PTSD over an event he can’t even remember so he might not be getting the flashbacks an individual with PTSD would have, just the sudden fear and anxiety when certain things happen. Is there anything hes scared of?”

“Oh yeah.” You replied “Horror movies, knocks at the door, being left alone and me getting upset with him, those are just off the top of my head.

“Yeah, that sounds like he might’ve suffered some sort of abuse.” She said confirming my worries. Your face fell at what she had just told you, you really didn’t want either of you to be right. “But the good news is he seems to be doing just fine with you, whatever you’re to help seems to be working.”

“Will he ever be able to remember anything or what happened to him?” You were curious.

“There’s a good chance, yes, if he did blank out absolutely everything like that then maybe not. It depends on the person and the severity of amnesia and trauma.”

“And how bad would you say his is?” You asked already knowing the answer.

“Extreme.” Was her answer.

She also talked about what to do if he ever had a severe PTSD attack and how he might act and it was scary to you to imagine. Part of you didn’t want him to ever remember just in case he did go through something awful.

She talked with him more and asked him if anything bad had ever happened to him but he just seemed confused.

She told me to hang in there with him and that if he stayed with me that he would undoubtedly be able to return to what he once was before… whatever that was.

Over the next few days you worked on finding things that would help him. Yoongi had brought over an electric razor so he could shave himself and he also had dinner with you guys. You could tell Jungkook really liked his company but not so much Jimin’s when we saw him a few times.

You also found out Jungkook liked to draw and was astoundingly good at it. Also found out that he could not only draw, but he knew how to write and spell and everything as well even though it was just as jumbled as his speech still was, that was okay though.

You had bought him a pad of paper and a pack of pencils at the store after he asked “Noona, can we have?” As he begged with those big eyes and of course you couldn’t say no.

You watched him draw everything from realistic detailed cats lounging in windows to cartoonish containers of banana milk. You admired what he drew and you loved to watch him concentrate as his pencil danced over yhe paper. It seemed that even though he struggled with words still a bit, he didn’t struggle at all making beautiful things from flow onto the paper from his mind, it was so effortless for him.

You liked the way he smiled at you when you complimented him on his drawing skills.

You got a call from detective Kim Namjoon at the end of the week to let you know they still had nothing on who he was and that’s when you explained to him what the psychologist had told you.

You kind of hoped that maybe even if they did find a loved one of his then they didn’t let him go back because you were scared of them hurting him.

You watched him hunched over over paper, drawing silently with a look of concentration on his face on the sofa with his shaggy hair dangling down away from his forehead. He would occasionally run his fingers through the shiny locks. He looked so at ease, so professional somehow when he drew. He was so sweet, but you thought about what horrors he could’ve been though to cause something this bad.

“Bunny?” You interruped him .

“Huh?” He set his pencil down and looked at you.

“I really do care about you, I meant it.”

The sweet smile that erupted on his face was priceless and made your heart flutter. You wanted to hug him, just wrap your arms around him and enjoy his company right now knowing you may not have much longer with him. At any given moment the detective could call and-

“I really do care about you too, noona.”

He answered. He now knew your name, Yoongi called you it all the time, but Jungkook still didn’t call you by it and you were okay with that because when you two were alone you still called him Bunny.

You realized you were just staring hat him all goofy with a smile creating some strange type of tension between the both of you. He must’ve realized this too because he looked over your face and probably thought you were dumb.

To your surprise he reached up and took your chin between his large thumb and index finger and took control of your head, wiggling it back and forth gently, playfully, but rapidly.

You couldn’t help but laugh at this random gesture as he dropped his hand with a grin and went right back to drawing.

You liked his approach.

You liked that he had just combated your awkwardness with playfulness and kindness.

“Cute.” He mumbled as he stayed focused on his drawing.

You were left speechless with his comment but in your head you wholeheartedly disagreed, he was obviously the cute one in your eyes.

You wondered if he knew, if he would ever know

That him simply being around you brought you great joy and erased the loneliness from you that you had denied you even had while living alone. How you barely went outside before he got here but now found yourself wanting to take him out and about every day. Could he tell you didn’t care in the slightest about what you wore but cared about him feeling good in his new clothes? Could he tell how sometimes you felt your heart would just implode with a sense of joy every time he even did something small or made any improvement.

Or would he not understand?

You liked to think he did, he showed signs he did. You liked to think he was proud of himself too, that he felt good about himself, that he was coming out of all of this.

You didn’t know if you would ever see the day when all his pieces were back together, if it even happened at all.

You felt it coming though with the phone call earlier from the detective reminding you they were still searching. Though just now might’ve been your brain pleading to let him know, just once more, that you cared before it was all gone. You weren’t going to even try to trick yourself into thinking he didn’t have a place out there in this world even if you sometimes felt like you didn’t. He was far to kind and pretty and talented for you to think he was no one like you occasionally felt you were.

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shhhhyoursister · 4 years

Text

ive gotten like 3 or 4 prompts a day for weeks and i feel so bad for ignoring them but this idea has been in my head all day and ahHAHhhahhah i wanna write an autistic!matteo thing based on my day (i worked at an afterschool program that has a few autistic kids and wow i really did watch those kids and have so many moments of “oh wow me too”)

***

Matteo looked at his empty shelf in the fridge, and frowned when he realized that that meant he had to go to the store. The grocery store definitely wasn’t the worst of his usual errands, but he had been feeling on edge the whole week, and just knowing that he had to go to a loud, bright, very populated place the next day and figure out what to buy was a little daunting.

He bit his lip, and the fingers on the hand that had been hanging limply at his side curled up, and started tapping against his hip. He closed the fridge quickly, and made his way back to his room, ignoring David at his desk as he flopped onto his bed and whined, rubbing his face into the pillow.

“What happened? I thought you were looking for snacks.” David said, and Matteo heard him turn in his seat.

“No food,” he said, and then turned his head to pout in David’s direction and said with a sigh, “I have to go to the store tomorrow.”

Matteo heard David hum, and watched as he got out of the chair and climbed onto the bed. Matteo’s eyes slid closed when David started rubbing his back, and his toes started twitching in his socks before David said, “You don’t seem too excited about that.”

“It’s just...a lot, sometimes.” Matteo said, reaching an arm out, trying to find some part of David to cling to. He grabbed onto his ankle and squeezed, and squeezed again when he saw David smile.

“What makes it a lot? There might be stuff we can do to make it easier.” David responded, no doubt already trying to guess what Matteo was going to say so he could have solutions ready.

“Lots of people, bright lights, loud music,” Matteo listed, counting on his fingers, “and then I get overwhelmed so picking food is harder. i just stand in the middle of the aisle panicking and forgetting what I eat, even though I always get the same stuff.”

“How about making a list now? Of all the stuff you know you want to get?” David suggested, already taking his phone out, “you can bring headphones, and maybe your sunglasses too, but if those don’t work and you do get overstimulated, you at least have the list so you can just grab the stuff and go.”

Matteo thought about it for a second and nodded, and then he and David started working out a list of things that Matteo liked having around, David interjecting things that he thought of that Matteo forgot about. David even agreed to go with him to the store, considering they were spending the day together. By the time the list was done, Matteo was lying with his head in David’s lap, feeling less stressed about the next day’s trip.

They left the next morning after David spent almost an hour trying to convince a very tired and very comfortable Matteo to get out of bed. It was hard when David was so easily persuaded to get back under the covers any time Matteo would pout at him, cuddled up with the blanket pulled up to his chin, his hair a mess on the pillows, but eventually they were out the door.

Matteo had his headphones wrapped around his neck, his sunglasses deep in a pocket of his jacket, and the fidget cube that Hans had gotten him in the other pocket. The bus was pretty empty when they got on, so they found seats in the back and Matteo squished himself into David’s side and took his phone out so he could scroll through Instagram until they got to the right stop.

David grabbed his hand tight once they got into the store, and Matteo let out a breath when he saw that it was less crowded than usual. They had managed to pick a good time to go, and Matteo didn’t even flinch at the lights as David gently tugged him further into the store. He was glad that David was leading him because he couldn’t stop his eyes from staring around, his head twisting so he could look down all the aisles and see what was there.

“Okay, what do you want to get first?” David asked, and Matteo’s eyes snapped to him after a minute when David nudged him, and repeated the question with a smile.

“Um, I don’t know,” Matteo said, looking at the list, and the only word he could focus on was bread so he pointed over his shoulder at the aisle they had just passed and said, “bread? It’s down this way.”

David nodded, and Matteo pulled him down the aisle. He scanned all of the options until he found the one he usually got, and tossed it in the cart. They made their way through more of the list, Matteo struggling to focus, but he preferred that to panicking. And he had David with him, who seemed to have no problem grabbing the stuff when Matteo got distracted by other things.

Once they were about halfway done, an aisle that he hadn’t noticed caught his eye. He didn’t see chi[s on the list but he knew he was out of those too. He looked back at David, who was squinting at his phone and then looking back up at the shelf, and he walked up to him and nudged his arm and said, “Hey, I’ll be right back, I’m gonna get chips.”

David turned to him, concern on his face, and before he could even say anything Matteo rolled his eyes, darted in to kiss him on the cheek, and walked away. He felt fine, and he knew that David just worried about him, but he didn’t feel the need to go through the whole process of convincing David he was okay.

He wandered down the beer aisle, flicking the fingers on one of his hands as the other ran along the edge of the shelf he was walking next to. He looked at all of the bags as he tried to find the chips that he usually bought, and when he didn’t see them, he bit his lip and turned to start searching again.

He stopped when he noticed a little boy standing at the end of the aisle. He didn’t usually pay much attention to kids, and he only really looked because he saw the kid flapping his hands at his sides. Matteo watched as the kid walked up to a bag of chips, stared at it for a second, and then spun around and threw his arms out.

Matteo smiled a little. He could relate. He could see a woman a few feet away from the kid who was reading the back of a box, so she didn’t notice when the boy grabbed the bag of chips and squeezed until it popped, only turning around when the kid started laughing. Matteo chuckled as he noticed the exact bag he had wanted and grabbed it, resisting the urge to squeeze, and then turned down the next aisle.

He wandered for a bit before picking a random aisle and turning down it, and grinned when he saw David at the end, focused on his phone. He kicked at the back of David’s shoe when he got to him and bumped his head into his shoulder blade, before David turned around to face him.

“I got the rest of the stuff while you were gone,” David said, gesturing to the cart full of all of the things Matteo liked, “ready to go?”

Matteo smiled, nodded, and tugged David to the shortest line he saw.

#davenzi fic #davenzi fanfic #druck fic #druck fanfic #davenzi #david schreibner #matteo florenzi #noggins #autistic!matteo #yo i was hangin with one of the autistic kids and noticed we were stimming in the exact same way #it was so funny #had lots of those moments today #loved it

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