the amount of love i have for stories where theres a character whos a bad parent (or even bad teacher, bad boss, bad ect.) but in the story realized how bad theyve been to their kid (or like. student, worker, ect) and actively try to make up for it and become a better person

To Share A Kiss The Devil Has Known

(ch. 1)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x you // Eddie Munson x f!reader // perv!Eddie Munson x innocent!reader

Genre: romance, mild smut, Catholic trauma, religious trauma, friends to lovers, slow burn

Notes: this will have a three installments // this chapter is just the intro honestly lol so sorry if it’s boring build up // Eddie is kinda pervy lol // he’s kinda dark but also not // i tried to write him to be as much of a consent king as possible

Warnings: MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY, NSFW // talks of religion, reader goes to confession and her priest is a little mean with his words (at the beginning), slight manipulation, pillow humping, humping, first times, dacryphilia, corruption kink, praise kink // masturbation //please let me know if there should be more added, thank you!

ao3 // chapter two // chapter three // masterlist // series masterlist

-:-:-:-:-

Every other Sunday was for confession. While other members of the family went on Wednesdays or Saturdays, you always chose Sundays since it would start the week off on a clean slate.

Not that there was much to confess about. Oftentimes, you would walk from your house to the church a few hours after mass ended, maybe feeling a bit guilty about your thoughts, rarely was it ever your actions. One day, you came in to tell the priest about how angry you got at your parents when they grounded you for accidentally falling asleep in church. You didn’t lash out at them, of course; but, you did curse them in your head — not honouring thy father and mother very well.

Then there was an instance three years ago at the homecoming dance. One girl had on the most beautiful baby blue dress you had ever seen, while you were stuck with a hand-me-down gown of the same colour. You prayed aloud that night in front of your bed, that you would one day have the opportunity to wear a dress as nice as hers. But the prayer backfired when your mother overheard, then told you to march to the church the following morning to confess how you broke the tenth commandment of coveting thy neighbour’s goods.

As a whole, you thought there were never any major moments in your life where you sinned gravely. That was until you went to your friend’s house for Bible study on Saturday night. She hosted it weekly, and invited all the kids from school. Needless to say, only a handful of people appeared. Not that it wasn’t fun, the six of you would always spend a few hours going over passages, and then eat a nice dinner afterwards. Truly, you looked forward to it since there weren’t other things you were invited to in town.

So when this past Saturday rolled around where the first epistle to the Corinthians was read, specifically the sixth chapter and eighteenth verse — your group started to analyze it as normal. But, little did you know that this was the day your heart would drop the hardest it ever has.

‘The sexually immoral person sins against their own body,’ the people in the room repeated the verse over and over, like a chant taunting you and your actions.

It was the first time you walked into the confessional on a Sunday afternoon with shaky legs and an intensely beating heart. You told the priest what you told your friend, trying to rid yourself of the sins you unknowingly committed. But he stopped you, his voice only getting louder as he gave you guidance on your next steps. ‘Stop doing that,’ he said, ‘God may not be so quick to forgive you if you give into the Devil’s temptations so often.’ Then after he assigned you a penance of five Hail Marys and going through the rosary twice, you were gone.

All you could think as you took your first steps outside, were words that should never cross your mind. Not now, not ever.

If sinning is so bad, then why does it feel so good?

-:-:-:-:-

As the day ended, and a new week of school began — your guilt never went away. Teasing you from the back of your subconscious as you walked home, ate dinner, and failed at doing some homework that was due a few days later.

It had been three days since the last time you unknowingly sinned, two days since you found out what it was, and one day since the priest’s voice scared you to the point of no return. Everything affected you gravely, that even once you walked into school Monday morning, the noises from the other students became a muffled and chaotic mess in your ears. So much so, that as you were shakily getting things out of your locker, you didn’t even notice movement from the one next to yours.

“You look stressed, sweetheart.” The voice startled you, only amplifying your inner-guilt, since you spent the past few moments focusing on shutting the voices up in your head, rather than greeting your favourite locker neighbour.

But what made you feel guiltiest of all, was that he is the one who inspired these sins of yours.

The throbbing ache between your legs felt good, and the way your pillow helped relieve that ache felt even better. If you were able to feel this level of delight every night, then why not think of someone who made you feel the same way? — the question plagued your mind nightly, during the moments you were oblivious to committing a sin.

Little did you know that it was truly sexual in meaning.

There was only one person who made you feel equally as amazing with their words and actions. Your locker neighbour to the right, Eddie Munson.

Several moments replayed in your head. Like the time he kept calling you ‘pretty girl’ because you decided to wear a skirt on the first day of Spring. Then, you remember how his calloused fingers felt when they were so close to your face after he brushed your hair from your neck; making sure to linger on your sensitive skin before mentioning how beautiful the silver crucifix looked on you. There were so many times after that too. From his deep voice whispering in your ear to ask if you needed a ride home while you both were in study hall; to his arms wrapping a sweater around your shoulders during lunch when the school’s heater broke. The Hawkins townspeople claimed him as a spawn of the Devil, but you named him as the only true friend you had. The only person to make the butterflies in your stomach tingle every time he spoke to you.

“I-I’m not, it’s just I can see now why Mondays aren’t people’s favourite,” you responded, still staring into the vastness of your locker. Thinking about how your start to the week wasn't so great as it usually is.

Eddie had opened the metal door completely, removing the barrier between the two of you. “But, Mondays are always your favourite because you get to see me after a painstakingly long forty-eight hours,” he pouted while trying to get you to giggle at his dramatics.

It worked.

“Well, I normally see you around the fourth period. This is the earliest you’ve been at school for a while.”

“Mondays are the worst because my homeroom teacher loves putting tests at the buttcrack of dawn,” Eddie groaned, while holding up the notes you loaned him at the beginning of the year since you already took the biology course before.

“Well, good luck, I’m gonna go—” no matter how much you loved talking to him, and how warm he made you feel, Eddie was part of your current predicament. So seeing him now made your heart ache in the worst way.

As you went to grab the locker door to close it, Eddie lightly grabbed your wrist. “I saw you leaving the church yesterday. You looked so,” he paused, moving his head downwards to meet you at eye-level, before continuing. “Sad, you looked so sad. I even called out your name a few times so I could give you a ride home, but you kept walking, so I assumed you didn’t hear me.”

So it was the Devil’s spawn shouting your name as you made your way home; not the Devil himself making you feel guilty for your actions. It was just your friend who wanted to look out for you.

Eddie continued: “or maybe you’re ignoring me,” he pouted with feign-sadness.

“Oh, uh-uhm it was just a really tiring day and I guess the voices in my head were too loud,” it was only partially a lie.

“If something’s bothering you—”

“Nothing’s bothering me, honestly,” this one was a lie, and it came out a bit too easily. But all you could focus on now was the feeling of Eddie’s thumb stroking small circles on the soft skin of your wrist.

He looked you up and down suspiciously before saying, “you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I do.”

“So whatever is going through your mind, let me know. Who am I to judge anyways?” He winked before letting go of your wrist.

You nodded, seriously contemplating if you wanted to have a confessional with your little Devil. Just as you stared at him with eyes full of conflict, the bell rang. Instead of responding, you softly said your farewell. “Anyways, see you later during fourth period, if you decide to come again.”

It was the only class Eddie had a perfect attendance score in, but he would never let you know that you’re the reason why.

-:-:-:-:-

By the time English class rolled along, you didn’t realize just how much your body was moving itself robotically. Going through the movements you’ve been so used to doing for the years you’ve been in high school. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, thankfully. First period was a calculus lesson, history happened afterwards with a lecture on the French Revolution, then a substitute showed up for geography during third period so that was a boring class. All throughout those hours, you kept quiet; because the wrath of the Angel on your shoulder, condemning you for your sins, was becoming far too much. To even think about answering questions the teachers asked was mentally exhausting.

It all came to a peak once you sat on your chair for fourth period English — the only class you had with Eddie this semester, and of course, the only class everyone sat at long desks that held two people. As you looked out the window to the dark blue skies of Autumn, your conscience kept telling you to be careful. You were about to sit next to the boy who amplified your senses as you sinned. Goodness knows how he’ll react to the news if you told him.

What would he think if he found out you think about his hands helping guide your hips nightly, or his voice telling you ‘you’re so beautiful’ when you finally find the climax of your relief, or his lips kissing your —

“You’re still so tense,” the voice brought you out of your haze for the second time today. But this time, Eddie’s warm hand was on the top of your left thigh; the set of thighs you unknowingly went from bouncing one second to squeezing together the next.

“Just tired, maybe I’ll nap when I get home,” you sighed. Truly, it has been three days since the bane of your guilt was committed. You could barely sleep now that you’ve stopped doing your nightly routine.

“Take a nap in my van, I have cute pillows in there,” he scrunched his nose as he teased you, then released your thigh to stretch his arms in the air.

Thinking of how your class went to the zoo for a field trip once, and Eddie found the scariest-looking bats cute, you replied sweetly: “your definition of cute is not really the same as mine.”

“But, I think you’re cute, don’t you?” Eddie loved to make you blush with his not-so-suave comments. Said it was practice for whenever he goes to the bars and flirts with girls there. But he never was able to make them flustered in the way you always were.

You saw the teacher walk into class in your peripheral vision, and prayed that would mean you didn’t need to talk to your locker and desk neighbour for the next three quarters of an hour. “I’m not,” you shyly say while looking away from The Dealer completely.

“You’re such a good girl too,” his voice was deeper than normal.

He was wrong. So wrong. The guilt in your heart only deepens as his words echo in your ear, along with the voices of your priest telling you need to repent for your sins. If this day couldn’t have gotten any worse, of course the muse of your sinful thoughts believes you’re a good girl when you aren’t.

“I-I’m—” your words are saved by the bell and your teacher’s voice which booms through the classroom. You thought you were safe, thought that until lunch you could get away with not looking at the boy who makes you unknowingly rub your legs together. But no, the day that was going downhill, just hit rock bottom.

“This class is a bit different, it will be a work period since I’m assigning you a small project due Wednesday. That’s not a lot of time, so today will be a work period then tomorrow we will have a lesson. I hope that you all can get the project finished after school over the next couple days.”

Doing a small project wouldn't be so bad, would it? The curiousity sat in your brain momentarily before your thoughts went haywire. The teacher paired you off, specifically with the people you were sitting next to, where each duo would need to analyze and present a different chapter of The Picture of Dorian Gray. So after a beat of silence once the teacher’s explanation was over, the class erupted in murmured voices and squeaky chairs. But you couldn’t get yourself to move to face your project partner.

“Don’t kill me but, we may need to finish this tonight because tomorrow—”

“You have your g-gig, I remember,” spreading out your time with Eddie would have helped your intensifying sinful thoughts subside. At least until you got over your bad habit. But now, you both had to do this for your grades — mainly his — so there was no time to lose. Maybe this could be a positive distraction.

“How about we work on it today right after school so we can get it over with?” he suggests.

“Alright, I guess skipping band practice one time wouldn’t be so bad,” you start shaking your left leg again. If you were a sinner, why not fall down the path of delinquency — your tendency to accept defeat a little too quickly, and then spiral, was catching up to you now.

Eddie notices, and touches your thigh again to calm you down like he has so many times before, even a few minutes ago. Although now, you move your leg away from his grip. “No, no, no, you go be a good girl and head to band practice, then I’ll pick you up afterwards and we'll run to the library,” he says trying not to sound disappointed that you backed away from his touch.

“I’ll finish probably a little after half-past three today since there’s only one song to practice,” you state while opening the book to the assigned chapter. “What will you do while you wait?”

“Oh, you know, maybe do some buying and selling,” The Dealer says nonchalantly.

“Shopping?” you ask innocently.

“Of sorts,” he mimes the act of smoking a joint in your direction, and you look at him curiously before understanding what he meant. You remember your father telling you it’s not a good idea to be friends with your locker neighbour because he’s a sinner who does the Devil’s drugs.

Guess he rubbed off on you, while you rubbed off on something else.

The pang of guilt hit you again. Like a stab to the heart from God himself. Tonight, you’ll do penance until you sleep, before the Devil on your shoulder tells you to commit your sinfully bad habit again. “R-right,” you say quietly. “Let’s get started then, you have to stay focused, Eddie, do you promise?”

“Pinky promise, my dear,” he grabs your fingers that are so much smaller than his, and hooks his pinky onto yours. “Only if you promise to focus too. You’ve been zoning out all day long. When you walk from class to class it looks like you’re constantly about to puke.”

“I do not,” you say in a defiant whisper.

“So do,” he teases. “Listen, if I promise to stay focused the entire time while we try and finish this project, you’re gonna tell me why you’re acting this way. It’s worrying me.”

You pause, looking at Eddie’s weirdly mischievous eyes as he starts to rub the bottom of your back. “There’s nothing really bothering me, though.”

“You’re lying, aren’t you, pretty girl?” his fingers started circling in a pattern that brought pleasurable shivers up your spine. After years of giving you featherlight touches — because that’s what friends do, he said one day — he knew exactly where to grasp your body to make you relax.

“Let me think about it,” you slightly give in. However, you can’t get yourself to admit, again, how badly you want to confess your sins to the one who inspired them.

He notices how you started to squeeze your thighs together again during this class. “That’s all I ask,” Eddie chuckles before moving his hands to your waist to move your body closer to himself. “Now, don’t kill me again, but I didn’t read the chapter. Or the book, so,” he elongated the last word while looking at you with feign-innocence with his doe eyes and pursed lips.

One thing you unknowingly did admit, was just how easily you were able to fall for his manipulative ways.

-:-:-:-:-

As Eddie waited in his van for you to come out of band practice, all he could think about was how strange you’ve been acting throughout the day. You were always one to talk to him in shy tones as he would talk your ear off in any given conversation. Today was different though, and he wasn’t able to place a finger on it. What hurt him most was when you reacted to his touch by moving your leg away — a move you haven’t done in the years you had gotten used to his touch. Then, you didn’t join him for lunch like you did every Monday and Friday, since the other days you would be asked to join the band or church group tables.

Something was off, and Eddie feels like it has something to with the downcast image of you walking through Hawkins on Sunday afternoon. Today, he was going to figure it out.

Ever since the man found out his locker was next to yours on the first day of Freshman year, The Dealer became obsessed with you. Not that you noticed him often — Eddie was notorious for skipping class so much that even though you went to your locker between every class, you would only see him once a day during that year of high school. However, he definitely noticed you: your shyness, the way you kept your head down as you roamed the hallways to the next period, and how you had a tendency of jumping a little every time you closed your locker and saw him standing there at his.

The small silver crucifix that was dangling on your neck was the icing on the cake for Eddie. Realizing then, that you were an innocent Angel who went to Bible study and mass every week. While he could only ask God why He put him in such a shitty place with even shittier parents.

Your innocence astounded him — like when people would joke around about how you didn’t know what sex was, all you would do is blush; or how one time a Senior basketball player walked up to your locker and invited you on a date. He was infamous for keeping a list of all the girls he took the virginities of, and you were his next target. The only thing you did though, was thank him and tell him that Bible study was scheduled to be a long one this week so you would rather go to that.

Something possessive leaped out of Eddie that day as he overheard the conversation from behind the metal door. He had to have you, had to know what it was like to roam your mind. He would do anything to make sure you were his.

So he did. Slowly, as the days passed, he would start talking to you more, trying to get you out of your little shell. You were so quiet that sometimes he would need to get close to your figure as you spoke — not that he minded of course. Eddie genuinely did love your innocence and how you didn’t even realize that he was being a flirtatious pervert when he complimented you. That every time he mentioned you were wearing something nice that day, he would go home and picture fucking you in only that piece of clothing or jewelry. His favourite, being the image of you wearing only that tiny silver crucifix you both loved so much.

Then there were the touches you had grown accustomed to. Eddie would invite you to sit with him during lunch — where he would lightly touch your fingers as he went to steal a fry off your tray. Afterwards, he would take his perverted compliments further, by straightening out the fabric of your skirt or shirt collar for you even if it just came from the dry cleaners. The Dealer would do anything to have an excuse to caress your skin for one moment.

You had asked him one day when you had visited his home to watch a movie: “you touch me a lot, why?”

“Do you not like it? Sorry, I just really enjoy—” if he wasn’t already worried about the fact that you were in his trailer for the first time, his heart dropped at the thought that you might hate him for his touch.

“No,” you would never want to make Eddie feel guilty for his actions. Youth group lessons taught you better than that, since it was only right to be accepting of everyone. “What I mean is, I don’t see many other friends do that with each other and I feel bad for them.”

It was his turn to be curious now. “What do you mean?”

“Your touches are nice, Eddie, so soft and sweet. I wish that all people would feel as nice as this with their friends too.” Look at you being charitable with your experiences — when these touches were only meant for you.

“That’s what friends do, they find ways to make their friends feel good.”

“Do you want me to do it for you too?” you reach out to touch his shoulder awkwardly, but you weren’t one to enjoy touching other people yourself.

“Not if you don’t want to. You make me feel good by being there for me when I need it. While I do the same for you, when you need someone to support you,” it’s true; even through all his indecent intentions, Eddie truly found an innocent and friendly warmth within himself for you, besides his love of wanting to be more than friends.

You look at him with sweet eyes to innocently ask the next question. “Then may you please rub my back like you do sometimes? It makes my heartbeat calm down and this movie is scary.”

“Of course, Angel,” it was right then, Eddie realized how much he loved it when you were needy.

“I wish I could have you do this whenever my cousins want to watch horror movies with me. Honestly, my parents don’t even know I’m here. But I just like your tou–”

“Tsk tsk, so naughty. Where do they think you are?”

“Am not,” you exclaimed and Eddie could tell your heart was beating a lot faster than before so he started to rub sweet circles on your back. “Plus, they think I’m watching a movie at a friend’s house, just don’t know who. It’s not a lie. I’m still a good girl.”

“Yes, you are,” he proclaimed deeply, realizing his rebel tendencies have inspired you. While you nearly moaned as your heartbeat stabilized, his touch and his voice made you feel so much better.

When Eddie was home alone that night, he couldn’t stop replaying the small whimpers of yours he memorized. If it was the hormones, or your innocent eagerness to be alone with him and let him touch you — he would never know which one he loved more.

Eddie was a sinner, he knew that, and was able to empower himself with the label. No matter how many times people around Hawkins would rebuke him as the Devil, or how often he would get stares from kids at school as he started to talk to you more: none of it phased him. What he loved most about you was how easily your innocence became obliviousness when it came to his sins – that you would hear about them and refuse to believe he was such a bad person because he was always so nice to you. Eddie couldn’t seem to understand why.

What he did understand though, was that his biggest sin was that every damn day of his life he was on the path of no return when it came to wanting to corrupt your virtue. To make all of his fantasies become a reality as he wanted to slowly make you addicted to him.

Did you figure it out? Is that why you were so awkward with him throughout the day? Why did you beg for his familiar touch in his memories, but pull away today?

Eddie’s mind moved at a million miles a minute, unsure of what was going on. But one thing was for sure: he was going to find out exactly what was hurting you, and he was going to do everything in his power to relieve that pain.

A small tap on the driver door window brought him out of his overstimulated thoughts. “Are you ready to go?” Your voice was muffled by the barrier, but Eddie was able to hear you before nodding.

He chuckled at your tendency to knock everywhere before you entered. Even with the van, you never approached it first unless he was already in it, or opened the door for you — that was mainly because The Dealer wanted to have some semblance of being a gentleman to you, even if he took that opportunity to touch your back to guide you into your seat.

“So the library?” Eddie asked as he watched you put your bag on the floor and straighten your skirt in the seat, not looking him in the eye as you respond.

“Y-yeah, it probably won’t be crowded since it’s a Monday.”

You were wrong, so wrong. It looks like all of the English teachers assigned similar group projects to their classes, since the library was filled to the brim with students from all grades cooped up at tables. You started to get nervous, the library was going to be your saving grace as you worked on this project.

“Should we go to my place?” He asked while tugging on the strap of your backpack lightly to get your attention.

“No,” you exclaimed a little too loudly, shocking Eddie a bit. “We can j-just go to mine instead.”

If you two finished the tasks at his trailer, then you felt as if it was walking into the Devil’s lair — a place where Eddie sinned like your parents said he did. The memories of the times your friend made you feel warm were enough to commit your treacherous acts; goodness knows how you’ll be when you’re in a room where everything is him.

While bringing the Devil reincarnate into your home wasn’t the best idea, your house had your Bible and other religious paraphernalia to protect you from giving into temptation. But, that’s also the place where you committed your unknowing sin, night after night — you thought.

These conflicting thoughts were about to be the death of you, as long as the annoying throbbing between your legs and Eddie’s teasingly sinister voice didn’t get you first.

-:-:-:-:-

Citizens of Ice Cream Land

Now, we’re venturing out into all my fanmade lands! Here are the citizens of Ice Cream Land.

Ice Cream Land is ruled by King Dairycone and Queen Snowcorn, who are hybrids of German shepherds and ice unicorns like their kids. Dairycone is benevolent and caring, and he almost never gets angry. However, he’s known for having an easily breakable heart. Queen Snowcorn doesn’t talk often, and she’s very timid like Crystalline and Germafrost. They’re both as quiet and relaxed as life in their kingdom typically is. They’re sensitive to loud noises, and they can get overstimulated pretty quickly. Things have lately been hard for them due to Crystalline’s sudden passing. They’re especially worried for Germafrost, since he seemed to take it the hardest and suddenly disappeared.

Prince Neapolitan is Germafrost’s younger brother. He’s a huge night owl, so he often has trouble waking up in the morning. It sorta bugs out his parents, since they’re also rather punctual and try to get him to bed on time. He can be quite dramatic, and he speaks with much emphasis. He’s also pretty assertive. He likes to go outside the castle and hang out with people, such as Floela, whom is a close friend of his. He is an enthusiast for mythical beings and creatures, and he attends an annual mythical creature convention. He emphasizes with Germafrost’s feelings over losing Crystalline, so he wants to be a shoulder his brother can lean on. Neapolitan has his own vehicle, which is a snowmobile. He sounds like Zim, or Kaos from the Skylanders series. 

Princess Crystalline was Germafrost’s older sister. She was very sweet, as well as shy like him. As timid and soft-spoken as she was, she was also super encouraging, and she was better at talking to others than Germafrost. The two of them were very close. She joined Germafrost in his games of soccer, or as Gelatarians call it, chip-ball. She encouraged him to follow his love for it, which is why he loves it so much. Once, a team of ice harvesters came to visit Ice Cream Land, and Crystalline befriended one of them. While she and Germafrost were out together one day, a falling pillar from an unsteady building crushed her. She succumbed to her injuries soon after.

Dawn and Jamison are Piano's parents. In Ice Cream Land, the living desserts' names usually come from what flavor they are, or what dessert they are. Dawn, a wedding cake-flavored ice cream creature, is one of the rare instances where that isn't the case. She's brainy, theoretical and passionate, but she gets upset when things don't work out the way she wants. She's super into physics, calculus, math, dessert chemistry, and computers. She desperately hoped that Piano would be her lab partner, but she learned to respect what her daughter wanted to do. Jamison is a longtime concert pianist, which inspired Piano's name. He has played in piano bars, nightclubs, restaurants and big hotels. He is kind and fatherly towards others.

Floela is a hybrid of a sled dog and a snowy owl. She has an open mind and is very free-spirited. She is a huge sweetheart who's super forgiving. She looks past everyone's negative qualities. She has a bad sense of direction, and she's also kind of insecure. She's allergic to pollen. Floela and Neapolitan are very good friends, and they attend the mythical creatures convention together. Floela is also a huge lover of butterflies, and she's got some feeders for them built on her home. She lives on an ice floe in Milkshake Lake.

Coco is a chocolate ice cream who's known for being very chipper. She is serene, soft, and often filled with bliss. She is sensitive to bright and flashing lights. She's quite fond of jazzy elevator music. She runs a cozy restaurant in Gelato Village called Bliss, where she serves cheese fondue.

Bananilla is a mix of banana and vanilla ice cream. She's a tranquil, laid-back person who's easy to talk to. She enjoys snowboarding along the ice cream scoop hills. She's quite observational as well. She's another friend of Neapolitan's who likes to play outside in the snow with him.

Randall, or Randy, is another rare case of not being named after your flavor/dessert. His flavor of ice cream is bubblegum. He also doesn’t have a lot to say because he’s usually got a wad of gum in his mouth. Because of this, he’s got a really strong set of jaws. He’s a bubbly fellow who’s bubbly in a peaceful, breezy sort of way.

Marshscotch is a combination of a marshmallow and a butterscotch square. He's squishy, bouncy and loves to climb things. It doesn't matter how high he goes so long as there's ground below his feet. He doesn't like being picked up. He and Neapolitan are also friends, and they've gone bobsledding together.

Mintfoot is a mint chocolate chip ice cream. His state of mind is as cool as the breeze. He doesn't let anything in life bring him down, and he lives his life in the best way he can. He's a friend of Germafrost's and likes to play chip-ball with him.

Toffee Chip is a vanilla ice cream with a bunch of toffee chips on his head. He's clever and good at coming up with plans. Other people see him as one of the smartest people they know. He's pretty slow, though. Even though he wasn't named Toffee Chip when he was born, it's his name, and he loves it.

Cottonette is a cotton candy ice cream. She's airy, charming and whimsical. Like many Gelatarians, she loves puppets and ventriloquism. She was part of the Young Puppeteers' Society in school. Despite how she might appear, when we first see her, she mentions that she's 31.

Sprinklehead is the closest thing Ice Cream Land has to someone who'd be comfortable living in the Unikingdom. He's a strawberry ice cream who's decorated with a bunch of sprinkles. He's energetic, colorful and adaptable, but he's got a breaking point, too (or a melting point, as he'd say).

Dough is an ice cream sandwich. He can get irritated and scornful when he's overwhelmed, or when someone disturbs the peace. He can be joking, but he's not always aware of when the joke is taken too far. He shovels snow for folks in his area.

Caramella is a caramel square. She's a serious confection; she tends to take things rather literally. Often times, she feels the need to correct people. She likes to keep things practical and factual, but she knows how to loosen up and have fun.

Wafflecone is, as his name would imply, a waffle cone. He doesn't like it when there are too many things happening and prefers to live an easy life. He's got an imaginative mind. He loves to make toys for people of all ages, and he works in his cousin's toy store.

Judge Fudge is a fudge square and a judge. It has walnuts baked into it. It hears proceedings in Ice Cream Land's courthouse. It's known for its problem-solving skills, its readiness, and its aversion to frivolity. It carries out the laws that the king and queen create and tries its best to keep things comfortable and cozy. And yes, its gavel is a popsicle.

Browncake is a mix of cake batter and brownie batter ice cream. It's courteous and enthusiastic about having a good time, but like most people in the kingdom, it doesn't like to be loud or get too crazy. It's a playful sweet who likes to bounce about in Sorbet Fields. It also keeps its fellow Gelatarians safe from sickness, since it gives them medicines for spoiling, discoloring, graininess, freeze burn and more. Browncake will often tell people what it prefers to be called, as that fluctuates for it day to day.

Olivia is another ice cream who isn't named after their flavor. Her flavor is peanut butter. She is also friends with Neapolitan. Olivia isn't that emotional or expressive, but that doesn't mean she's not happy. She's just in a perpetual state of calm. She's quite tough like a nut, and she shows a sense of determination. She enjoys playing ice hockey.

Sunday is an ice cream sundae who works in the palace. She looked after Germafrost and his siblings whenever their parents were busy. She washes towels, blankets and the laundry. She is intelligent, speaks her mind and has a good heart. She sometimes can be feisty. She can also repair furniture and fix holes in the walls.

Iceberry is a snow cone who is part of the Ice Cream Bowl Palace Guard, who keep Ice Cream Land and its inhabitants out of danger. His weapon of choice is a spear, the head of which is an ice cream cone. He spent much of his time outside as a kid, so he likes to be outdoors. He's spirited and colorful. Sometimes, though, he mistakes certain harmless things for danger, such as raves (which aren't commonplace in Ice Cream Land).

The Milkman is a cow with lots of thick fur. He's generous and calm to other people, and he radiates a huge sense of sweetness. Milk flows through streams and brooks throughout Ice Cream Land, and The Milkman harvests it from them. Then, he filters all the bad stuff from it and delivers it to people across the kingdom in large buckets.

Lunchbox lovers request:

So I would love to see a sit down talk between yoongi and mc. Just so like mc can sort her feelings out about everything, and like get advice about forgiving Kook. Idk, I just want those two to have a chat between besties.

-🐞

cold senior!y/n x stem major koo masterlist :D

yoongi will be on y/n’s team — always

“what do you want for dinner?”

yoongi had the best afternoon nap anyone could ever possibly have

it was a mid-afternoon nap actually and something about it just hit different this time

there’s days when it’s extremely warm y’know? not hot, but like uncomfortably warm

it was that uncomfortably warm afternoon when everyone’s collectively feeling sleepy?? turn the airconditioning on to its coolest and sleep without a shirt on and be surrounded by a pillow on both sides......?

yeah that afternoon nap awhile ago really put yoongi on a happy mood

he’s not asking what you want for dinner because he slept good :D

excellent afternoon naps aren’t the only things that make him this way!! lol you could also count days when he receives a random gift out of nowhere and the days when you replace the toothpaste instead of him

but really, whether or not he gets these instances, he genuinely just asks you what you want for dinner so he could either cook it or order it

“what do you want for dinner?” yoongi nudges you from your spot on the couch, about to invade your personal space again and lie down on your lap before you get to cooking

you only hum in response, your best attempt at returning his affection coming in the form of tussling his hair

“we already have dinner, yoongs.”

omg that’s nice then

“you already cooked dinner? even while i was still asleep? wow, look at you,” he praises you abundantly, attempting to pinch your nose when you dodge him

.... that’s the thing though

yoongi watches you visibly freeze when you were doing anything in the first place besides watch your show in a still position

“i didn’t.”

oh

if your dorm was already silent, it became even mORE silent now

if you didn’t cook, then that means-

“jungkook brought dinner.”

yoongi finishes for you and it’s the far worse equivalent of two mothers bringing their own turkeys for thanksgiving

the show you’ve been rewatching is white noise at this point that you can’t recognize anything in this room besides yoongi

it’s been two weeks

that’s literally half a month

two weeks ever since jungkook’s been pouring active effort into working for your forgiveness and normalcy with him out of his own volition

alright maybe you’ll just focus on the gray streaks in yoongi’s new hair <3

and maybe he’ll just focus on the blue stain on your pink pajamas because he put them in the same load when they were newly-purchased <3

yeah but no you can’t do this forever

he can’t do this forever

you and yoongi can’t do this forever

the two of you can’t keep dancing around each other whenever the mention of jungkook pops up because the two of you have two dRASTICALLY different perspectives

right now, yoongi’s just awkwardly laying on your lap and he’s can’t even look up ay the ceiling

“do you wanna talk about it now?”

you end up caving by asking him first, a sigh of relief from holding it in which makes him relieved because he didn’t want to initiate that

“yeah, let’s talk,” he pulls himself up and he’s now looking at you with much embarrassment, “can we even have this conversation while completely sober?”

yoongi’s really rEALLY looking for a distraction to help ease this discomfort in his chest

okay you get where he’s coming from

“you mean you wanna share a joint with me while we have a long-overdue conversation?”

you chuckle at the mental image of yoongi seeing literal stars and freaking out about it, probably crying while he chats to you

“mhmmm. would probably calm our nerves. o-or maybe just mine, atleast.”

to be honest, he doesn’t even have quite a clue on wHY he’s nervous!! it’s the two of you and you’ve always been comfy with each other

that’s the whole foundation of your friendship — you’re fully comfortable with each other and the two of you find it difficult to be this comfy with anyone else

if he really delves deeper into it though, yoongi would know that the reason he’s so nervous for this conversation with you is because he doesn’t want to fight with you

you’d only have occasional tiffs and arguments ever once in a while, but never a fight!!

he’s not assuming that your conversation would turn into a fight, but that possibility scares him still because what if he loses you?

:(((

and if the two of you do fight, it would be over a junior named jungkook who broke your heart and probably insulted you to your core

he doesn’t want to romanticize it either, but if the two of you do fight, yoongi would want it to be something entirely else

he’s willing to have a fight about being messy and how it frustrates you so much

he’d pick a fight over his clingy habits and how it sometimes makes you feel insecure

he’d pick a fight over how he wants to be your number one best friend so bad that it’s beyond unhealthy he’s making it a competition

he’d want a fight over him being a lil insecure of seokjin at times because the two of you get along so well and know much mORE things than he ever could and he can’t always be included in the inside jokes

what yoongi doesn’t want is to fight over jungkook.

“that sounds nice,” you agree because maybe you too are feeling a little antsy, “but we could do that after.”

he nods, his hands curled to his lap that he only meets your eyes now

“okay.”

oh my god

what now

everything’s put out of the way and it’s now the part when you actually tALK

“are you mad at me?”

you take the first approach and it’s already heavy right from the start, the question weighing especially hard in your mind the past few weeks

“what? no. i could never be mad at you,” he answers just as quick and precise, “i’m mad at him.”

“and i understand that.”

you really do know where yoongi’s coming from because after all, you’re the receiving end of all of jungkook’s words at the time

but that’s the thing!!!

that’s tHEE thing that bothers yoongi the most

you have this feeling of guilt because you feel like you’re betraying yoongi in a way

“then why are you letting jungkook in again?”

it’s as if it’s a double-edged sword and merely entertaining jungkook would be a stab in the back to yoongi, even if you don’t owe him anything

“because i understand him too.”

yoongi deadpans at that, a tired sigh falling instinctively from his lips but his mind’s more awake now

“god, seriously?” he shakes his head and outstretches his hands to hold your shoulders in place. “y/n you are the most lovable person i know. you believe him when he told you otherwise-“

“i-i know it isn’t true. it’s not true when it comes from jungkook.”

your voice wavers but it’s not the only thing that’s coming in waves, your resolve blurring even more when you see yoongi fighting back his own tears

“but when it comes from me i-“

“it’s not true either.”

all that yoongi does is take you to his chest the moment your body feels limp with the sigh that escapes you, a knowing body of tears coming next

your parents’ divorce is the furthest thing from fresh but the impact it placed on you renews without warning, the thoughts coming in waves

they were sure to reiterate over and over again that it wasn’t your fault, but god the way that they never even bothered afterwards made you think otherwise

“i-i just feel like a placemarker and neither of them came back for me, y’know? don’t get me wrong, i love my aunt to pieces and she’s family and-“

your faint sobs rack your ribs and yoongi can feel them, a relief that your face is buried to his shoulder so that you wouldn’t see him cry

“jin and i are your family too.”

they are but deep down, you know it’s a whole other ball game

“b-but that’s because you’re unrelated to me. i don’t remind any of you of the other. i’m not your daughter.”

it really wasn’t as harsh as how your words cut out, but it just breaks yoongi’s heart to know how difficult is must have been and is for you

you mumble when you calm down enough, playing with a loose thread on the cardigan you’ve gifted him on his birthday this year

“jungkook didn’t know that sore spot. he couldn’t have, but i’m not defending him either, yoongi.”

you mean it with full sincerity and he’s trying to digest your words as best as he could before his bias gets the best of him

“it’s on him for being horrible to me, but it’s on me for relating what he said to what i felt a long time ago.”

yoongi opens and closes his mouth, but before he does, you’re lifting your head up to interrupt him

god he’s aLSO crying

“use the sleeves to wipe your snot, dumbo. it’s not even that expensive!!” you chuckle when you urge him to do so, making him both frustrated and sheepish because his goddamn snot interrupted you

you lean on his shoulder and stay that way, this time being a rare occurrence in which you cling to him like a koala

“and i know that he shouldn’t have said those things to me either way. i do.”

yoongi nods at that, capturing his point fully

he insists on patting you on the forehead, drawing circles and definitely not a penis as he drawls his words

“he can’t take back what he said, y/n.”

“but that doesn’t mean he can’t redeem himself, yoongs.”

you offer him a timid smile, turning into a bigger one when you know just the right approach to satiate him enough

“jungkook taking accountability is the bare minimum, though,” you chuckle when he nods eagerly to the point he gives himself whiplash, “which is why i’m being smart and haven’t fully forgave him yet.”

…

…..

yoongi sighs when the two of you spend the pause in silence, speaking in all honesty

“i don’t know if i can forgive the little shit.”

“you don’t need to.”

you say just as genuine, a reassuring smile on his face to ease the focused knot on his brows

“you don’t owe it to me, yoongs. i know what you’re thinking.”

you really do

he tends to look at you in high regard even when you tell him that he shouldn’t, and it leads to him with the mindset that he really should appease his best friend at all times

“i eventually will,” he admits quietly. “just not now.”

“that’s okay too.”

it was supposed to be another bout of silence but yoongi actually breaks this time, blurting out words once he felt that the coast was clear

he just needs to get this off his chest before this heart-to-heart moment dwindles

“i don’t want to sound weird, but you’re like, my platonic girlfriend, y’know? my soulmate in a very platonic way, but no one says either that your soulmate has to be in a romantic sense and-…”

you exclaim in relief, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when you jolt him by the shoulders

“god, finally. i’ve always wanted to tell you that i feel the same. you’re my soulmate, i’m pretty sure. my very, very platonic boyfriend i live with.”

yoongi sighs, stares, then fiNALLY heartily laughs in relief

everything’s out of the way :)

“we’re good. we always will be.”

you’re about to get up to fulfill yoongi’s suggestion earlier, being cut short when he gently pulls you by your forearm when you stood

“i’ll always be on your team — you know that right?”

yoongi means it with his whole heart, just one more reminder he wants you to reaffirm in your mind for the night

“i’ll always be on yours too, yoongs.”

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

Ha, I always seem to ask writing partners this question!  Annie herself has a rather keen sense of smell, and likes to be clean.  Her body’s natural scent is vaguely sweet but given she perspires considerably during martial training, and hit puberty earlier than most, she became fastidious about personal care at a young age.  In the interests of getting as much sleep as possible, Annie tends to wash out of a sink or basin in the morning, and shower in the evening (it’s no accident that this arrangement also means she’s also less likely to have to use communal showers at the same time as anyone else).  In Marley, she often retained the scent of the plain soap her father purchased, while in Paradis scented soaps became her secret indulgence.  Light, floral fragrances are her favourite, and she likes lilac in particular.

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

Having suffered with sensitive, itchy skin as a child, Annie is in the habit of frequently using balm or cream on her hands, which makes them soft and smooth to the touch.  That being said, as a result of domestic chores, her silver ring being a permanent fixture on her right forefinger, as well as her military training, Annie’s palms and fingers have some calluses.  For as long as she can remember, she has had cool hands (and feet) but inheriting the Female Titan seems to have exacerbated this to the point where they are frigid much of the time.  Annie’s hands are dainty, in keeping with a girl of her size and stature, while her fingers are dexterous, slender and deceptively delicate; she is strong, and can deliver a crushing handshake if so inclined (never forget this scene from the Lost Girls OVA).

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

Annie has an unhealthy relationship with food, and her eating patterns are disordered; she is the sort to forget to eat or to deliberately skip meals, or to binge when the opportunity presents itself.  Given that Annie’s value lies in her physical capabilities, her father was very controlling over her intake, and critical of both her body and her sweet tooth.  You better believe Gabe Leonhardt is the kind of man who would slap a biscuit out of his daughter’s mouth.  The regular, plain meals served by the military work in her favour then, as they provide some sort of structure and nutritional balance.  Of course, her impoverished background (picking mould off fruit and bread was a common occurrence during her childhood, as food close to spoiling was sold at discounted prices) and her appetite mean Annie isn’t a fussy eater.  She will try almost anything once, even dishes others might balk at, or consider an acquired taste.  Adventurous as she is, Annie carries a great deal of trauma around what she was forced to consume by the Marleyan military, as part of their experimentation on her and the Female Titan.  This included cannibalising parts of her fellow Warriors.  Living amongst refugees after the fall of Wall Maria, Annie stole food, and would split these spoils – as well as her rations – with Reiner and Bertholdt.  Sharing food is one of the easiest and most common ways for her to express affection.  Annie does not drink alcohol, her favourite beverage is limeade and she is particularly fond of lavender, lemon and mint flavours.

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

Yes, but Annie has little cause to sing, and it would mortify her to be overheard, so she rarely indulges (never underestimate her fear of being laughed at).  Sometimes, she will sing in the shower, or while doing chores alone, but she is far more likely to hum quietly under her breath.  For the record, I think Misaki Fukunaga’s vocals on Annie’s song (Kanojo wa Tsumetai Hitsugi no Nakade / ‘She Lies Within the Cold Coffin’) is a pretty solid representation of her singing voice.

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous tics?

While she has been raised to be adept at disguising her emotions, Annie does have a number of behaviours that are born out of habit, and can be indicative of her mood – namely cracking her knuckles, or twisting her silver ring.  For a time, she had a ‘tell’ during combat where she would blink twice in rapid succession before making a particularly decisive or devastating blow; her father successfully hammered this out of her.  While not a habit per se, during her early childhood she suffered from excoriation disorder, and as such would scratch / pick at her skin, as well as pull out her hair and eyelashes.  As a young adult, swearing forms one of her more obvious bad habits, along with staring, keeping a wholly irregular sleep schedule and forgetting to eat (or conversely eating too much).

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

Whenever possible, Annie will remain in her military uniform both for the impersonality and simplicity of it.  Outside of that, she chooses roomy, comfortable and practical clothes in pale and muted colours.  Hoodies form her preference (she will pull the hood up when she wants to shut the world out, or to feel alone) but tunics, sweaters and jumpers also appear in her wardrobe – basically anything that’s relaxed in fit, and doesn’t cling to her upper body.  She is less concerned with trousers being closefitting, and is content to wear cropped varieties or even shorts in hot weather.  Skirts, dresses and more traditional feminine garb usually only feature in her disguises.  Annie is tactile and has a strong preference for soft fabrics, partly because for the comfort they offer her touch-starved self, and partly because she suffered with sensitive skin (an issue that inheriting the Female Titan resolved for her).  For the sake of practicality, Annie will almost always pull her hair back into her trademark messy bun, and likes a heavy, long fringe to hide behind.  Post-crystal, she moves towards wearing her hair down, finding that it helps soften her hard features.  Ultimately, Annie isn’t big on experimentation when it comes to fashion or styling, doesn’t wear make-up, and is concerned only with being clean, comfortable and presentable enough to pass inspections.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

There are times when Annie wishes she could be affectionate, but she genuinely doesn’t know how.  Her father deliberately kept her isolated, and dominated her formative years as a remote, unfeeling and largely inexpressive disciplinarian.  The height of care he showed Annie was silently helping her to wrap her swollen hands and feet at the end of particularly gruelling days, or tending to her when she was sick with fever.  His bedside manner was clinical, perfunctory.  Where other parents might hold their child’s hand, he would choose instead to grasp her by the wrist, often gripping her tightly enough to bruise.  Distance has always existed between them and, prior to the Paradis Island Operation, he placed his hand fondly on Annie’s head only once, and embraced her only once, the traumatic context of both instances sullying the contact.  As a result, she watches expressions of affection – mothers dabbing at their children’s sticky faces, friends embracing or tousling each other’s hair, lovers holding hands – with quiet longing and fascination, more often a witness than a participant.  Normally only close to others in combative situations, Annie is hardwired to associate proximity and touch with danger and / or pain.  It isn’t all doom and gloom, however.  With trusted companions or partners, Annie can and will open up, overcoming her concern with boundaries and rejection.  Mostly she expresses affection through small, fleeting touches; the brush of fingers, sitting side by side or leaning against those she is comfortable with.  Along with quality time, physical touch is one of Annie’s primary love languages.

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

Given the abuse that marked her childhood, it’s no accident that Annie assumes an almost defensive position.  Typically she sleeps on her side with her knees drawn up and her hands raised, vaguely mirroring her combative stance.  On occasion she will sleep her head under her pillow, or hide her face in the crook of an elbow.  While she very often dreams of training with her father, she is usually a deep sleeper and doesn’t move around too much – though the odd slumberous punch or kick isn’t unheard of.  Eerily, Annie will sometimes sleep with her eyes open, and she is a frequent sleep-talker.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Most likely not.  Courtesy of her martial training, which demands she be light on her feet, and her father’s fervent subscription to the belief that children should be seen and not heard (along with his punishment / correction of any behaviours that he deemed irritating or undesirable) Annie learned to move quietly, to make herself as small and silent a presence as possible.  Being diminutive both as a child and as an adult, she never experienced the clumsiness that often comes with growth spurts and the shifting dimensions of a maturing body.  There is a natural grace and confidence to her movements, but also something soulless and mechanical that has been instilled in her.  Play and the raucousness of childhood was not something Annie was permitted to indulge in at home and it shows; even during her youngest years, she carried herself as an adult might, stiffly and precisely.  This inherent stealthiness is part of what makes her so well-suited to covert operations, along with the fact that she is plain and slight enough to go overlooked.  That being said, when she is especially exhausted or weary, Annie may stumble or move lethargically, and is more likely to be overheard.

tagged by: @oncejaw​​ like a million years ago – I loved doing this, thank you lovely! ♡ tagging: a ton of people were tagged already, so whoever wants to do it.

Bloom: A Taang oneshot.

Summary: Aang and Toph have always had a special connection. He knew there was something different about her from the moment they met years ago at the underground arena. As time passes, platonic feelings begin to morph into something more. (Quick note: There is a hint of the Kummi/Taang in here if you squint lol. Hope y’all enjoy!)

To say Toph’s parents weren’t fond of Aang would be an understatement.

And a huge one, at that.

To them, he would always be the bad boy (the first time they referred to him as that, Toph nearly choked on her breakfast from laughing) who manipulated their sweet, frail daughter into running away with him and his trouble-making friends. Never mind the fact that she proved she wasn’t the defenseless child they claimed her to be. Never mind that she willingly went along. Never mind that she didn’t do it just for Aang, but also because it was the only chance she had to be free. 

Spirits knew how long it took her to convince them that, no, he wasn’t a negative influence (if anything, it was her); yes, she can take care of herself. They never entirely warmed up to him. However, they did allow him to visit. That was good enough for Toph. Besides, it was probably the best she’d get out of them. Sure, she had to bribe threaten reassure the family guards that they didn’t need to follow her and Aang around when hanging out. That was simple to accomplish, luckily. 

And so, years passed. 

They formed memories with one another. The rest of the Gaang were involved, of course, with some of them. Toph noticed something, though. Aang would still seek her out personally in those times. During group meals or bonfires, where she went to sit down, he’d follow. Whenever they all laughed, his head would tilt in her direction. His fingers would sometimes graze, linger, upon hers when they walked together. All of it became more intentional to her as time went on. It became more common. 

He wasn’t good at being subtle. She knew this. It didn’t bother her. Because, maybe, she was beginning to feel the same way.

---------------------------------------

At first, when Aang spent time at the Bei Fong residence, he was tense. Her parents clearly did not like him and were probably only allowing his presence because a certain daughter of theirs bribed threatened reassured them until they gave in. Creating discomfort was something he loathed. For Toph, however, it was worth it. Plus, she was quick to deal with the overprotective watchmen that would trail them wherever they went, even if it was just in her backyard. That most definitely made things easier. 

Numberless, unforgettable moments were made between them. 

The ones that he held close to were the ones that were small. They were personal. He thought of how she’d clutch his arm, not the railing, when crossing the wooden bridge near her home. He thought of how her witty remarks started to feel more flirtatious. He thought of how she’d consistently ask for stories of his childhood among the Air Nomads; how, when he complied (and he always did), she’d find some excuse to lean against him. (“I’m tired.” “I can hear you better this way.” “Shut up about it.”)

And it was all fine.

Beyond fine, actually. 

It wasn’t until he started craving those instances more and more that he realized he liked her. Finding reasons to visit became all too easy. (“There’s a new restaurant in town.” “I could brush up on my earthbending.” “There’s a spot that I just have to show you.”)

The answer was never less than an “Okay” and usually a “Sounds great. Let’s go.”

Definitely, the greatest giveaway that none of this was one-sided was what happened one summer night. 

--------------------------------

They were in the Bei Fong garden, strolling among the rose bushes. They talked of nothing, everything, and all that was in between. Stars glistened amongst the cloudless velvet sky and the moon was full, luminous. While she couldn’t see any of it, he hoped that she could feel it’s intoxicating serenity. The calmness it radiated made the atmosphere feel otherworldly. Eventually, they found a marble bench to rest on. The smallness of it meant their bodies were practically pressed against one another. It wasn’t awkward. 

As they engaged in small talk, Aang plucked a few flowers and started weaving them together. Toph didn’t initially pick up on this, but the constant moving of his arm against hers, as well as the sound of shuffling, spiked her curiosity. She gently pressed her fingers against his.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh! Making a flower crown,” he stopped twiddling and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I guess I should have asked if it was okay.”

She shrugged and removed her hand. “I was just curious. Doesn’t matter to me. They’ll grow back anyway.”

He grinned and went back to work. Minutes went by, silence reigned. Not the slightest hint of discomfort was sensed. 

“Ta da!” He held the handmade accessory in the air with pride. “Finished! And in record time, too.” 

Toph smirked and traced her fingertips against it. The woven intricacy of it felt high quality. He’s done this multiple times before and it showed. 

“Nice job, Twinkle Toes. Maybe you should quit the Avatar stuff and start a business.” she teased. 

“Believe me,” he said as he studied the freshly made creation. “If I could bring myself to do that, I would.” A sigh left him. “But I know what I’m needed for.”

She hummed in acknowledgement. “All this hero duty starting to get to you?”

“Starting to? It always has been,” He flicked a few stray strands of grass and stem off his lap. “I never wanted any of this. Being the grand savior of the universe sounds fun until you realize how much you lose because of it.” 

“Well,” she started, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Find a way to cope.” It was a lousy attempt at comfort. To anyone else, it may have been offensive. Not to him though.

He chuckled softly. “I already did.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled while placing the flower crown on her head. “It’s you,” There was no regret for his words, which mildly surprised him. All of it was true. “I just...I don’t know.  Spending time with you allows me to temporarily forget that I’m the Avatar. You make me feel like an equal,” He pulled an uneven, wilting petal. “You never saw me for less or more than I am.

Because of you, I’ve been allowed to grow, without necessarily growing up. Does that make sense?”

A snicker escaped her. “No. But then again, you rarely do.” 

She lifted both her hands to his face, her fingers gently trailing his features. 

This has happened before. In fact, it’s happened multiple times. These sort of moments wouldn’t last long and would usually end with her squishing his cheeks or booping his nose, a “You’re a dork” following.  It wouldn’t be such a big deal except that she never did this with anyone else. He wasn’t dumb, though she’d would probably say otherwise. She didn’t need to do this to “see” him.  Her feet and ears handled that well enough. Being careful, intentional yet tender, he placed his forehead against hers.

“What are you doing?” he said in a whisper so quiet that it’d only be audible to her. He smiled when she blushed. 

“Nothing. Why? What’s it to ya, Twinkle Toes?”

“I mean, I don’t mind. Just curious because you’ve done this before soooo...” There was a playful, teasing tone in his voice. 

Mildly annoyed, she freed a hand to lift one of his against the right side of her face. “There. Now we’re even.” 

His breath hitched and she noticed his heartrate spike. She hardly tried to stop her mouth from forming a smirk. “Aw, does that bother you?”

He swallowed, calming a bit, but not entirely. “No. N-not really.” he mumbled.  It was the truth. She didn’t need to focus on his heart’s pace to know that. 

Aang exhaled and closed his eyes. Everything became still. Aside from the crickets chirping, and the occasional stray dog barking from far off, all was peaceful. This was how he often felt with her. It was always like this when they were together. In a way that he could not yet explain, he felt a comfort with Toph that he never felt with anyone else, not even with Katara. A note of courage suddenly filled within him and swelled. He had to ask now before it disappeared. 

“Can I kiss you?”  

If Sokka was there, he’d surely facepalm. Most people don’t like being asked to be kissed. They just want it to happen, at least according to him. Toph wasn’t like most people, though. On a level that was beyond what he could fully understand, they were connected.  Perhaps all lovers felt that way. Although, even when their bond was solely platonic, he still thought that she was like no other. (“Not like her.”)

He prayed silently. He wished not that she wouldn’t say no, but that if she did, nothing would change between them. Another pang of quietness passed. He felt the confidence in him start to deflate. 

Then, suddenly, a swipe across his lower lip and a “Yes” evaporated any worries or doubts. He didn’t hesitate pressing his mouth against hers. 

Aang knew what first kisses were supposed to be like. Poets and singers described them as a powerful, electrifying force. (“Kissing him feels like fireworks.” Katara once said regarding Zuko). Yet none of that could accurately evoke what he experienced in that moment. In her affection, he noticed a sliver of familiarity that he could not quite comprehend. There was warmth, a sensation of relief. It felt grounding. It felt like home.  

When they parted, it was sobering; like waking from a long slumber to crisp morning air. 

“Oh, by the way,” Toph then gave his shoulder a swift punch. 

“Ow! Hey!”

“That’s for being a total sap.” 

Rank the Sohmas and explain your ranking?

Anon, this got really long, so I’ve put everything under the cut. Also I don’t have solid rankings beyond my top 2 so I went into ‘tiers’ that aren’t necessarily ordered by how much I like a character. TLDR; I love all the zodiacs for different reasons, see readmore for more in-depth thoughts.

1. Yuki Sohma

Yuki as a character is really, really important to me. I think about him so much, and how he goes from a neglected, unwanted child with no support network to a confident young adult who is so comfortable with himself and free to be happy and at ease and surrounded by those who love him. I think about how important it is that Takaya displays this journey as incremental, and not necessarily linear. I think about how Yuki’s strength comes not only from himself and his desire to improve step by step, but from the support he gradually starts to receive from the people around him. I think about just how important it is when Takaya says that it’s ok to be weak, to reach out for help, and that for some people, it is only when they DO receive the needed support from others that they are able to get better. I think about just how much it means for a boy with so little self-worth to gradually find himself in the company of people who enjoy his presence and like him for who he is, and I think about how he is able to reach out and help others after receiving the warm and foundation he himself needs, when he is emotionally ready. I think about then, how SIGNIFICANT it is to show a character who had absolutely NOTHING in his childhood go on to make sure that his own child has everything he longed for in a home in his childhood. 

There’s a little bit of Yuki in everyone. Every bit of his internal monologue hits like a truck for anyone who struggles with insecurity and low self-esteem, and his drive and aspiration to find his own purpose and happiness, can be a source of inspiration to so many. Yuki Sohma is one of the best, if not THE definitely best written Fruits Basket characters, and I really wish more people recognised this. As sensei once said herself, I know that Yuki will always have his fans, but I wished that more people realised and appreciated his importance in the story and carrying the themes of Fruits Basket.

2. Hatori Sohma

This is more a remnant of a past phase, but Hatori is here because he was my first anime crush ksksksasoksks . Jokes aside though, I love Hatori because of his kindness and selfless nature that is masked by a cold exterior. As an adult I realise that Hatori’s actions are not always perfect or enough, but I still really think that he is someone who truly cares. There are so many instances that improve his character in my eyes. Can you imagine going through what he goes through with Kana, and learning of her marriage, and not feeling bitterness, but relief that she is happy? And yet he values his own happiness so little that it really breaks my heart. Or the way that he doesn’t avoid Momiji after the ordeal with his mother, but checks up on him and in a way helps raise him? Dude is more of a father figure to Momiji than his own dad. Narratively, Hatori’s backstory is such an effective introduction to the darker, more mature themes of Fruits Basket, and yeah you can bet it worked on kid me. 

TIER: “These are great characters, I love their complexity but I’m also just fond of them as well” (no particular order)

Isuzu Sohma

Someone who definitely grew on me this time round. When I was a child I found it hard to understand what she was going through and didn’t really relate to her either. But oh my god, this girl goes through so much. She’s such a kindhearted character at heart, but struggles with connecting with others and receiving their kindness because of what she went through as a child. It’s so hard to watch her struggle, because we know she deserves the world. 

Akito Sohma

Controversial to say I love Akito just after I said I love Rin, lol. I’ve never had an overly negative impression of Akito throughout Fruits Basket (this is partially because my friends used to call me Akito when we were little.....because I was an Asian girl... and Akito is also an Asian girl????? idk now that I’m thinking back over it...gee thanks guys), so it was relatively easier for me to accept her redemption when it came. Akito’s actions are not defensible, but I find it much more interesting to explore where she is coming from, rather than just mindlessly spew hate and wish violent things for her like some people prefer to do. Akito’s character is a tragedy, and I feel like people are way less willing to emphasise when the victim is not “perfect”, per se. Akito went through the same “broken home” parental abuse that a lot of the characters in Fruits Basket went through, but somehow people are unwilling even to extend the tiniest amount of baseline empathy towards her just because he trauma manifested in a way that hurts others. Guys, she’s a tragic character!!! A tragic character isn’t always “a perfect person who has bad things happen to them”, it can also mean “a character who becomes antagonistic because of circumstances.” Her actions are inexcusable, but there is a lot to learn when we explore WHY she became this way.

Shigure Sohma

Gonna try make this short. Shigure is a controversial character but I like him because I like characters that demonstrate moral ambiguity. The point of Shigure is NOT to be a good person, and he doesn’t have to be one to justify liking him. Once again, you can like Shigure and still know that he’s a piece of shit. The whole idea of “he genuinely cares for Tohru but will hurt her if it means achieving his own goals” is a fascinating one to me, because it shows that the idea of “good people” and “bad people” is vast oversimplification of how actual people think and behave. Still though, I’m really not fond of how Akigure was executed in canon. I think the two could have potentially had a fascinating relationship but it ended up being more disturbing and swept under the rug&uncomfortable than interesting.

Momiji Sohma

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have Momiji who is just genuinely such a good person. I like the dichotomy between his outwardly ‘childish’ and ‘immature’ appearance and behaviors, versus what we gradually learn about him: that he has had to be mature and selfless at a very young age, and that he is also very emotionally intelligent and empathetic. Watching him gradually grow up before our eyes (we were ROBBED of it in the anime) but at the same time feeling more and more lost broke my freaking heart. When his curse breaks and he realises that even though he is now ‘free’, that nothing has changed and the damage was already done -  absolutely heartwrenching. He’s someone I would have loved explore more of what happened post-canon, because I just want good things for him and Momo, screw whatever the hell their asshole dad thinks. 

TIER: “I love these characters but don’t focus on them as much as I think the fandom does”

Kyo Sohma

I’m a self-professed “probably don’t think about Kyo that much” person haha. I know I know, sue me. I think its because out of the main 3, I love Yuki and Tohru so much that I don’t tend to focus on Kyo. I still like him a whole lot though!! I’m a big fan of the way he matures and changes throughout the series, and much like how Yuki does too, becomes a much happier person. When I compare early-series Kyo with later-series Kyo, one thing that always sticks out to me is how much more he smiles. The way he smiles at Tohru is so full of genuine warmth and happiness that it makes my heart melt, especially when I think about how this is a boy who has so much baggage, and has to gradually accept the fact that he deserves happiness before he allows himself finally to accept it. 

Hatsuharu Sohma

Most of my love for Haru comes from the relationship he has with Yuki. It takes so much maturity to accept that your prejudices may be unfair, and Haru did so at such a young age. Sometimes I just think about how much Haru did and continues to do for Yuki without the need for reciprocation or even recognition and it just hits me how much of a good person Haru is. He was Yuki’s ONLY friend at a time he had NO ONE, and is the reason Yuki was able to move out of the estate and become the person we know and love. Haha sorry for making this about Yuki again, but I think their relationship also says a lot about Haru as a person.

TIER: “I like Kureno and am tired of making a thousand disclaimers every time I want to say I like him, Takaya-sensei whyyyy”

Kureno Sohma

I really like Kureno. This is again pretty controversial, but let me try to explain. I like Kureno because he’s an example of someone who wants to do the right thing that causes the least amount of harm to everyone, but inevitably ends up making the decision that causes much more damage. It’s a classic “good intentions, bad outcome” scenario and I freaking love it. I love that it’s absolutely not what he wants, but Kureno ends up doing a lot of wrong things and destroying not only Akito, but also his own life in the process. I just find the idea of an adult of his age who is so isolated from all of society that even a shopping trip is something foreign and out-of-the-ordinary, really, really sad. 

On the romance side though,  I hate that Takaya-sensei decided that Arisa would be his romantic interest, but I do like the idea of romance being a part of his arc. (I actually think their interactions are somewhat cute but that the overarching age gap ruins everything - i keep thinking about if Arisa was older or Kureno was younger, but touching their ages at all would affect the plot so I would rather it wasn’t Arisa at all). Just the idea of Kureno by Akito’s side, playing the part of what he thinks is her “lover” (god sensei why are u liek dis), when he meets someone on one of his rare trips outside the Sohma estate that causes him to realise that what he and Akito have is not at all what a healthy relationship should feel like - and it causes him to reevaluate the harm he is doing to them both, and take steps to leave her. That is...not exactly what Sensei did, but I always remember how much I felt for Kureno when he said in the upcoming anime chapter how it was the first time he had felt like he loved someone out of his own choice...I just felt like that one “choice” could have lead him to the realisation that he can start to make more of his own, healthier choices in life. But yeah. Wish it wasn’t Arisa because it didn’t do anything good to her character arc, and it’s creepy. 

TIER: “I really like these characters but don’t go out of my way to think about them”

Kagura Sohma

Ok I lied, I do go out of my way to think about Kagura. I love her too, despite common opinion. I think her reflection of her relationship with Kyo was so wonderful. Her confession that she started to like him out of pity, but that over time they became genuine feelings. But that Kyo can’t reciprocate her feelings so she’s accepting of that, and thankful that he gave her time to express herself, although she will still go on loving Kyo. Kagura is one of those characters where Takaya-sensei once again demonstrates her ability to take a “trope” of a character and actually delve into their psyche and explains why they feel this way. 

Ayame Sohma

I love Ayame because he’s genuinely so much fun! I appreciate the arc of him rejecting Yuki, but how he is now reaching out to help him, and I feel like we don’t get a good insight into just how significant this rejection was until we see it from Yuki’s perspective. I also admire how he is able to recognise his own shortcomings, and respects Hatori because of his sensitivity to other people’s feelings. He’s a character who could definitely have been explored more if desired, but isn’t underexplored or incomplete as is.

Ritsu Sohma

My poor Ritsu. In contrast to Ayame, Ritsu was definitely underexplored. Such a great potential to explore confidence, identity, and assertiveness. Ritsu as it stands though, is largely a minor character who wasn’t given the time they needed to be fully fleshed out. I would have loved to see them gradually gain more confidence over the series!!

Kisa Sohma

Love love love Kisa, she’s such a cutie pie. But I feel like there wasn’t much more to say about her that wasn’t said in her arc. Kisa is more a character who is used to show the messed-up state of the Sohma house/Akito more than she herself is a complex character, I think. I love her arc and her parallels to Yuki though, it gave us such a great quote about needing to be loved by others before learning to love yourself. 

Hiro Sohma

Hiro is known to be an unlikeable brat but I love him as well!!! I think it’s really important to have characters who aren’t just lovely and receptive to Tohru’s kindness, and his character served to show an important flaw in Tohru’s character, and the way that her kindness could be taken advantage of. For Hiro himself though, I think his brattiness is alright because he’s very young, and I really appreciate his efforts to become a more mature person when he recognises his own flaws! 

Taylor Swift on "Lover" and haters

You might say Taylor Swift's happy place is at the piano in her Nashville home. "There have been so many songs that were written at this piano," she said.

"And it's often the middle of the night?" asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"It's usually in the middle of the night," she replied. "Or if I'm trying to get to sleep and I can't and then I get an idea. And I'm, like, 'Well, I'm not tired anyway!' And then kind of wander over here."

It's kind of a rare sight, not just because "Sunday Morning" was there ("I haven't serenaded someone in a while, hope you know that!"), but because, for the moment, Taylor Swift was actually sitting still.

I promise that you'll never find another like Me-e-e, Ooh ooh ooh ooh I'm the only one of me Baby, that's the fun of me – "Me!" by Taylor Swift, Joel Little and Brendon Urie

And there never really has been another like Taylor Swift. After only 13 years in the business, she's become a musical force of nature, with an armload of #1 hits, more Grammy Awards than The Rolling Stones, and (according to Forbes) the distinction of being the highest-paid celebrity on the planet.

By any measure, she's an amazing young woman. But there were times, she says, that being young, and a woman, worked against her.

"You're always gonna have people going, 'Did she write all her own songs?'" she said. "Talking about your personal life, talking about your dating life.

"There's a different vocabulary for men and women in the music industry, right?"

"Gimme an example," asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"Okay. A man does something, it's 'strategic'; a woman does the same thing, it's 'calculated.' A man is allowed to 'react'; a woman can only 'over-react.'"

And it seems her usual reaction is to get to work. Swift writes or co-writes all of her songs. And what's more, her music videos are all her vision, from the pastel wonderland in "Me!"…to the giant dollhouse in her latest video, "Lover."

That's also the title of her critically-acclaimed new studio album, her seventh. She wrote "Lover" on her piano at home, and polished it up in the studio. And once she recorded the music, Swift (accompanied by and her cats) went to Hollywood to make the music video, and she invited Smith along to watch.

There's a love story here, and like a lot of Swift's work, it's an echo of her real life.

Born in Reading, Pennsylvania, Swift discovered her love for music as a toddler. She set her sights on a career in country music, and eventually her parents and younger brother moved to Nashville to help her do it.

"My brother's a real bro for doing that," Swift said.

"Yeah, they all upended their lives," Smith said.

"For sure."

"It worked out well!"

"Yeah, I buy 'em lots of presents," she laughed.

The rest reads like a fantasy: Swift became a country music phenomenon, and, in the last few years, a pop icon. But the superstar is, by her own admission, as emotionally fragile as any other 20-something, "I'm still someone who is the first to apologize when I'm wrong," she said. "But I think I'm better at standing up for myself when I've been wronged. So, that's something that I think also comes with growing up."

Which brings us to Scooter Braun. Earlier this summer, Braun, a talent agent with whom Swift says she has a contentious relationship, acquired the rights to her previous recordings – her masters – when his company bought Scott Borchetta's Big Machine Label Group for a reported $300 million. Borchetta, who worked with Swift for years, says she and those close to her (including her dad, who was an investor), knew about the deal in advance, and that Swift had previously been offered the chance to buy her own masters.  

She remembers it differently, and told Smith she didn't see it coming: "I found out when it was online, like, when it hit the news."

"Nobody in your inner circle knew?" Smith asked.,

"Nobody knew."

"And you didn't smell it?"

"No. I knew he would sell my music; I knew he would do that. I couldn't believe who he sold it to, because we've had endless conversations about Scooter Braun. And he has 300 million reasons to conveniently forget those conversations."

With the sale of the masters to her first six albums, there has been speculation that Swift might re-record her back catalog, in order to control the recordings of her songs.

Smith asked, "Might you do that?"

"Oh, yeah," Swift replied.

"That's a plan?"

"Yeah, absolutely!"

Scooter Braun may not agree with her side of the story, but he did reach out to Swift in a tweet last week, calling her new album "brilliant."

It's clear that Swift wants to control her music:  When it's time to release one of her new songs, she does it personally, talking to her fans live on Instagram. This personal connection has earned her a loyal following. But her openness comes at price: She's followed just about everywhere she goes these days, by people who are crazy about her – or just plain crazy.

Smith asked, "Where is home for you now?"

"It's a very good question," she said. "I try not to ever really say where I am the most, because since all my addresses are on the internet, people tend to show up uninvited. Like, you know, dudes that think we have an imaginary marriage."

"And you mentioned that you keep wound dressing with you?"

"Yeah. I've had a lot of stalkers show up to the house, armed. So, we have to think that way."

And she's come under attack in other ways: You need only glance at the tabloids to see some very well-publicized feuds, and she often hits back at her haters through her music. For instance, in "You Need to Calm Down," she calls out anti-gay protesters and online trolls:

You are somebody that we don't know But you're comin' at my friends like a missile Why are you mad? When you could be GLAAD? Sunshine on the street at the parade But you would rather be in the dark ages …

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate 'Cause shade never made anybody less gay – "You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift and Joel Little

Smith asked, "I'm curious, because I feel like almost every album, you have a song where you address the haters, at least one song. Sometimes more than one song."

"I probably do have that habit. I imagine that I might have that habit, yeah."

"Why is that? Why sing to the haters?"

"Well, when they stop coming for me, I will stop singing to them," Swift replied. "You know, people go on and on about, like, you have to forgive and forget to move past something. No, you don't. You don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on."

"Do you believe in forgiveness?"

"Yes, absolutely, like, for people that are important in your life who have added, you know, who have enriched your life and made it better, and also there has been some struggle and some bad stuff, too. But I think that, you know, if something's toxic and it's only ever really been that, what are you gonna do?"

"Just move on?"

"Just move on. It's fine."

Taylor Swift's music is always personal, sometimes intensely so. "There's one song on the album called 'Soon You'll Get Better' that it's, I can't even really hear. I can't even listen to it."

She won't talk specifically about her inspiration, but it comes at a time when her mother Andrea, who was battling cancer, suffered a relapse.

Swift said, "It's really interesting because I don't think I have written a song quite like that before. And it's just sort of, like, it's just a tough one."

"I can imagine. But I can also tell you, having listened to it, that it's universal."

"It's just not something that we deal with until we have to, until we see it, until we experience it, until someone close to us is going through something like that. And so, writing about it was really emotional. And I'm just gonna stop talking about it now."

She's more comfortable plunging into her work. On the Hollywood set, a large glass tank will become a symbolic fish bowl in the "Lover" music video.

"I very oftentimes remark that my life is like a fish bowl, and that, like, if I were to, like, fall in love, you know, somebody's choosing to be in that fish bowl with me. To jump into the fish bowl with me and live in that world just with me – it's not as depressing as it sounds, I promise! It's just symbolic!"

Talk about fish bowls: she's been dating British actor Joe Alwyn for three years. Seems he's up for a swim.

At the moment, Swift is, well, fully immersed in today. Beyond that, she says she doesn't know … and doesn't really want to.

Smith asked her, "Do you think about, you know, 'What am I gonna do in 20, 30 years?'"

"No, 'cause that puts me into what I call a panic spiral," Swift replied. "Like, I cannot do that. I've never been able to do that."

Why? "It just freaks me out. When I zoom out too far, I freak out. Do I know where I'm gonna be or even wanna be in 20 years? Absolutely not. Like, not taking a single day for granted."

"So, how far ahead do you look?"

"Six months. Just 'cause I have to plan shows and stuff. But I don't know what I'll do after this album. And I think that's great. I tell myself, like, it's actually really ungrateful to just assume that you have 20 years. Like, be stoked that you have today."

(x)

Tidbits and Quirks on Enderm, his Tribe, and Corven!

Enderm: He often has an issue of feeling too powerful due to his spells, age, knowledge, and versatility with his magic, making him often act a little arrogant. And while it is justified in him feeling this amount of power and confidence, it still has left him in several binds where he could have benefited heavily from assistance from others. (He also has an absurd obsession with books and scrolls collecting, so bring him one and he will hug you and thank you and give you just about anything he can as compensation!) Gael: His magic, while vast and powerful, actually creates a bit of an opposite effect to what Enderm’s does to him. Gael will often times call on others to ensure success in an attempt, even if it is something that he could have easily done! Much like when he was teaching Suki, and called upon Enderm to lend a hand where he could have simply explained on his own, due to his own magical knowledge and intelligence feeling lacking in his own opinion, when he is in fact quite intelligent and well versed in the arcane arts. (He adores the hell out of magical artifacts, and loves studying them, but above that, he adores his student/adoptive daughter, Suki. So a gift for her is far more meaningful to him, than anything else, as it eases his own mind of being the only source of Wizardry Teachings in her options list.) Clax: He’s a massive brute and thick and stubborn headed as they come. His simple thought process often gets him labeled as a brute, when he actually is smarter than most would give him credit for. He doesn’t mind however, as he actually prefers people to think him a simpleton, as it amuses him to spring some knowledge on them when they don’t quite expect it. Reading may not be his strong suit, but he has a near photographic memory that helps with repeating things, which helps throw people off. (He also has an absurd love for cute and small animals and things, and has taken quickly to addressing the family he has around him, Suki, Sotsona, Skitters, etc., by a variety of endearing nicknames of the animals or creatures they remind him of. For Yuki for instance, it is “Little Dove”.) Xavier: A quite and simple man, he is not one to talk much, if ever, in the presence of those he doesn’t know. His voice is strong and demanding, but he doesn’t use it much for reasons even he doesn’t know. In reality, he has exceptional social anxiety that makes it nearly impossible to speak up when around anyone other than the select few he chooses. (He often involves himself in making the few people he knows that he talks to, feel as comfortable as possible around him, out of a nervous fear of them leaving, and will often leave them small gifts here and there to encourage conversation. Though he still kinda stinks at it.) Sarabel: She is much like Z’sophia, to a degree, where she was shunned by her original family and found a family of her own with others, though unlike Z’sophia, was fortunate enough to find that family once again among her own kind. She is quiet, but speaks up often and enjoys singing in solitude, though many of the songs she sings are bittersweet, as they remind her of her lost family that threw her out over the mottled skin that depicted her as a bad omen. (She LOVES sweets to a degree that is absurd, and much to her own shame, has openly snatched several from Sotsona when she wasn’t looking. She feels guilty, but damn goes guilt taste sweet as hell sometimes!) Arya: She is a wizened old woman of a Firbolg that adores cooking and it is easily shown by the large cauldron she lifts and carries on her back with such ease during long travels and stays at other places. She is fiercely protective of children, or those she deems as children or her own family, even extending to a rather troublesome and, originally, rude little Hangman’s tree that lives not far from her own current cabin on Sotsona’s farm. She will reprimand you for being stupid, and coddle you with a tasty meal afterwards as she lectures you on self care and being smarter than that! (Despite her love of savory, sweet, and sour dishes that she makes so often. She actually quite likes bitter-sweet foods and snacks, as they always surprise her with their strange combination of the tastes!) Valen: He’s an old leather worker that has seen centuries come and go, but still has a rather cheerful, if realistic, outlook on life. Though his gruff voice would make one think he is always being sarcastic like an old grandpa-type would be. He loves working on metal armors too, as well as leather and any other material he can get his hands on. This has created a love of making personalized armor and tools for those he meets and has fond relationships with, such as with Enderm, in constantly up-keeping his Scale Mail, and making special armor for Clax, as well as the weapons of the 3 main guards of the tribe. (He adores gifts of rare minerals, ores, gems, and monster parts that he can use to make new items, armor, and tools! He’ll often repay the person by using some of the material for a personalized item or armor piece just for them!) Kareem: A sweet young girl with a passion for normal medicine, she follows heavily in Enderm’s footsteps of loving to heal and give life to those that have been harmed or had their own taken too soon. She actually doesn’t like using magic as much as she likes to tend to wounds with her own hands, and won’t use magic unless it needs a speedy or immediate recovery, or if there is no other way she can think of. Though she will use it in the case that Enderm tells her too, as she knows his judgement on situations involving wounds often outshines her own due to his experience with this field. (She loves flowers and fancy medicinal plants, as well as gardening these plants and crops to grow. Though not nearly as well versed as the likes of Sotsona, she aspires to possibly raise a field of flowers, herbs, or crops of her own one day, and to have others stand in awe of the fruits of her hard work! Without magic of course! Cause nothing is better than good old fashioned hard work!) Sereval: Not to be confused with Sarabel due to their similar sounding names, she is a seamstress by trade, and a lovely poem writer as well, though she never has the confidence to let people judge her poems or hear them, unlike she will so readily throw fancy and custom fitted clothes and the like with the hope that they will love her work and keep it. She loves to especially give out clothes to children, and will often spend painstaking days getting all the dimensions right before giving them to the recipient. (New clothes and textiles she hasn’t seen before are an amazing thing to her, as she has rarely gotten the chance to ever truly explore her own craft outside of her own teachings and the teachings of an old book, so providing her with new books or strips of cloth and details on how to make them or weave them into something, will make her day.) Alexyz: He’s a tough and gruff old man with a rather surprisingly mid-range voice that completely contrasts his size and presence. This however makes him more approachable, which brings him joy when interacting with children, or being a silly old man with the ladies that he meets, as he, despite his imposing size, is one that adores having a good time. He loves to sing, much like Sarabel, but unlike her, doesn’t have the voice for it. Though he often will engage in helping Valen in making materials, armor, tools, and the like, he also often gets Valen and Clax to join him for singing sessions on nights that they wish to celebrate, where his voice actually harmonizes between the two of them. (He actually doesn’t have much he doesn’t like, but when it comes to specifics, heartfelt gifts always touch him, and make him teary eyed, even if the gift isn’t something he would normally enjoy, he’ll still treasure it like a very sentimental old man.) And finally!: Corven: He’s a friend of Enderm and the tribe, and is an absolute lover of tea and making business deals. Unlike many in his field, he never uses his bardic talents to lull people into an unfairly worded deal that makes him come out as the ‘winner’ of the deal, and always prefers a solid and fair deal for both parties. He often gets mistaken for a Leprechaun due to his size, choice of dress, and accent, not to mention his red tinged facial hair and hair on his head and eyebrows, but he doesn’t mind correcting them, politely of course. He’s a tad flirtatious with women his own age, but is forever faithful to his wife, and simply sees the flirting as a silly way to enjoy a non-serious conversation. He refuses to judge based upon appearances or bad stigmas against one simply for being born, as he sees it as letting the actions of the dead and gone, to dictate who the future generations could possibly be. (He loves children, but this is because he has two of his own that stay with their mother at home. And will often come to the aid of children that he doesn’t even know, or doesn’t know well, for the sake of protecting children, as he would want anyone else that is a parent or guardian, to do the same for his own children. Otherwise, strike up a bargain with him and he’ll do everything in his power to help and make sure you both walk away happy from the deal!)

let’s talk about the themes of the Sly games

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus (2002):

Paris: this might not be the game’s main theme but it’s the theme that is most omnipresent. Paris is the glue that connects everything together. it immediately has such an impact on the player, even though it’s just the tutorial and the gang’s base of operations. Sly being a thief but also living in Paris just sounds so right, like it’s the way it should be. it fits. 

The Thievius Raccoonus: this is the main theme and what provides the game with its premise. it’s the book that needs to be glued back together and its importance is highlighted throughout. almost every level has a page included so we’re constantly reminded of its significance. the skills we earn by retrieving the main ancestors’ pages elevate the gameplay and force the player to respect it. other than that it’s a clever way to spotlight the ancestors and establish that Sly does come from a long line of thieves.

Family: this doesn’t need much explaining but i’ll do it anyway. we start off with Sly’s parents getting killed and him landing at an orphanage where he creates a new family for himself with Bentley and Murray. you’ve got 3 different types of family: (A) Connor and Sly’s mom getting murdered and Sly’s aim to avenge them, (B) Bentley and Murray being true brothers when Sly was left with no one (i’m tearing up), and (C) the ancestors, which are explored more in-depth through the theme of The Thievius Raccoonus. Family as a theme explores Sly’s motivations and drive, even though Connor’s role is minor, especially in comparison to his role in Sly 3

Morality: Sly 1 is rudimental in its gameplay. it was a little game with a big promise at the time it was released, hoping to serve Sony and the Playstation 2 with a worthy mascot and an even worthier title. but right off the bat the player is bombarded with a shit-ton of lore about the world Sly lives in and how he operates. we immediately find out he’s an antihero, an honourable thief who has a code of conduct. this comes into stark contrast with the game’s villains who are basically filthy crooks. thief takes down thieves and the theme of Morality is SP’s attempt to make the player distinguish between good criminal and bad criminal. Morality as a theme is spotlighted immensely in Cold Heart of Hate when Sly saves Carmelita because he truly is the good guy, but also when it’s revealed that what’s been keeping Clockwerk alive all these years is the lack of morals and the hatred. the game establishes Morality as the outlining theme of the entire series, placing Sly on a pedestal because he’s honourable. morals trump hatred, so fuck off Clockwerk (even though ‘perfection has no age’ might be one of the coolest lines in the game lol)

Sly 2: Band of Thieves (2004):

Paris: this is the theme from the first game but on steroids. like make it x10. when you take the plot of Sly 2 and boil down to its core, it turns out to be a full-on race against time to save Paris. it provides both a nod to the first game and a sense of closure at the end: the game begins in Paris and ends in Paris. It’s both a setting and a catalyst, and it is absolutely brilliant in the game. you spend most of the game globetrotting, away from home but as soon as you find out ClockLa is on her way to unleash her psychotic brain waves and turn the city evil, you find yourself at the edge of your seat, caring more about Paris than anything else. it’s omnipresent and powerful and i don’t know why but i love it.

Spice: if you wanna be my lover. here’s an amazing replacement for drug trafficking as a plot device in a children’s game: spice. the spice trail is what pushes the narrative forward but also gives the gang something to face before the pieces fall into place and the larger scale of things is revealed. before ClockLa steals the show, spice is the main antagonist in the game. it brings the villains together, leads the gang from one location to another, provides some memorable missions and obstacles (Spice in the Sky and a raged, spice-infused Murray). but it’s not to say that it fades away in the long-run. Spice is actually the subtle thread that connects the episodes together but also is significant to the final master plan of hypnotising Paris.

Deception: obvious one here. Neyla pretending to be an ally is the major example. we’ve got the Contessa pretending to be loyal to Interpol, we’ve got Arpeggio seemingly being the mastermind behind everything (which he kinda was until he wasn’t), we’ve got the whole evil plot reveal on the spice, we’ve got Neyla ripping off Arpeggio on her journey to become the most well-written villain in video-game history. lots going on here. overall great theme. on a wider scale (and i’ve touched on this before in some recent posts) we’ve got SP deceiving the player into thinking the plot is all laid out at Rajan’s ball until it all turns to shit and nothing goes as expected. Appearance V Reality is a sub-theme that pops up when Bentley fights Jean Bison and Bison constantly underestimates Bentley until the turtle fucking blows his lights out. it’s not an instance of Deception per se, but it’s worth mentioning

The Past: Clockwerk’s return makes this a theme instead of a motif. before ‘saving Paris’ becomes the main objective, it’s Sly’s determination to prevent Clockwerk’s revamping that kicks off the game’s events. the events of Sly 1 play a pivotal role here as they lay the groundwork for the plot of Sly 2. it’s not just Sly 2: The Sequel. with its own set of characters and an intricate story it becomes its very own thing. but Clockwerk is the link that connects everything.

Morality: this one sneaks up on you in the game’s second half and just bites you right in the ass when you least expect it. Contessa, who until her boss-fight seems to be just another selfish spider bitch witch, manifests into this advocate for Sly’s inner demons through simple dialogue. fucking brilliant. ‘You’re an ignorant child playing dress-up in his father’s legacy’ (in my opinion, the best line in the entire series) kicks it all off. and then the theme becomes obviously present throughout. it explores the fine line that Sly walks between robin hood and scumbag thief, it shows how the villains are down-right criminals who want to benefit from their crimes, it cracks black and white into a million pieces because in a single game there are like a million layers of good and evil: Barkley at the very top as the authoritarian white, Carmelita as a sympathetic cop who tries to grasp onto her own code of ethics while occasionally running with the thieves, Sly and the gang as antiheroes, the villains as... villains, and Neyla as the embodiment of satan. it’s a scale and the game spotlights this. i had a different bullet point for Justice but i think it falls under Morality. basically, Carmelita’s story arc in Sly 2 deals with blurring her views a bit and re-defining justice

Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves (2005):

Ancestry (Cooper Vault): this is what the game is all about, or at least the premise. after stitching the cottdamn book back together by the end of the first game, Sly 2 doesn’t give any attention to the Thievius Raccoonus. in fact, Sly 2 exists on a completely different plane, using its amazing plot to elevate itself away from the lore of the first game. ancestry is rarely mentioned. flashforward to Sly 3, where SP takes us back to the mythos for a new caper involving a new reveal: the Cooper Vault. what we thought we knew about the ancestors is thrown out the window to pave the way for this mystical place where the Coopers buried their secrets and their loot. i’d like to point out that the theme of Ancestry is great and all but SP does a shitty job in spreading it throughout the game. whilst recruiting the new gang members we often forget why we’re doing so and it’s not until the last episode of the game that we get the fulfilment of the theme’s promise. it’s also worth mentioning that the theme pops up in A Cold Alliance when Tsao is comparing himself to Sly and he speaks of his ancestors but we somehow get the feeling that his ancestors were all colossal jerks like him and had absolutely 0 honour

Family: this is not the same as Ancestry. the new gang members could have very well been distant with each other if not for the adventures that made them bond. Bentley’s fascination with the Guru, Murray being the Guru’s apprentice, Bentley falling for Penelope, Penelope and Panda King helping Murray with the van, Panda King and Sly working alongside each other to kill vampire mantises and the Crusher. these are all moments that helped sell the ‘group of thieves’ aspect of the game. but Family also explores the bond of the original trio and how, even when they face their differences (Bentley and Murray living in the shadow of Sly), they can still make it through, even stronger than before. other references here might include: Panda King and Jing King, Dimitri and the Lousteau diving legacy, Dr. M and McSweeney being Conner’s “sidekicks”

Honour: this replaces the theme of Morality from the previous two games as the situations the characters face allude to honour (doing what’s right for the greater good) rather than morality (black and white, good vs evil). what i mean by that is SP making an effort to distinguish why Sly is a different thief and ultimately an antihero. this was sorta explored in the previous games by having Sly put an end to the villains’ various operations but the overall plot overshadowed those instances. Sly 3 on the other hand fully explores the theme of Honour by including the word in the title and having the gang save the day in every episode. stopping harm to the environment (polluting the Venice canals, destroying the Australian outback), helping Penelope come to terms with her inner demons by encouraging her to drop the facade of the Black Baron, saving Jing King from forced marriage, etc. the theme also ties into the theme of Redemption (below) but what i’d really like to point out is that Carmelita gets in on it as well. i can’t think of a more honourable moment than when she finally, after 3 games, puts the petty cop bullshit aside and comes to Kaine Island with her squad to save Sly from Dr. M. she makes Sly’s battle her own and doesn’t give up, showing up at the very end to save him from Dr. M’s horrific boss-fight (ugh)

Deception: although not as major as in Sly 2, i’ve said this time and time again: Flight of Fancy perfectly encapsulates the theme of Deception. Penelope dressing up as the Black Baron is not the only instance of deception. you’ve got Bentley and Penelope blowing their online avatars out of proportion, you’ve got Dimitri who was initially a villain finally turning sides, you’ve got an episode card full of sunshine and bright blue and gold fonts for a hub that’s all gloomy rainclouds. beyond Flight of Fancy, i can think of a few more instances: some Shakespearian shenanigans when Carmelita disguises herself as Jing King, or when the gang doesn’t reveal their Dead Men Tell No Tales plan to the player and we’re left thinking that Sly is going to get eaten by sharks

Redemption (Choices): speaks for itself, really. this one ties in with Honour and is a sub-theme, maybe a motif. we’ve got Murray’s desire to redeem himself for feeling guilty over Bentley’s accident. we’ve got Dimitri and the Panda King joining the gang after previously being villains in the series, and eventually redeeming themselves through helping with the heist. we’ve got Penelope redeeming herself as the Black Baron by joining the gang. i also named it Choices because these characters chose to redeem themselves. Choices are all over the game, whether its the lack of free will or the sacrifice characters make: Jing King isn’t in a position to choose whether or not she gets married during her capture, Sly sacrifices his cane at the very beginning of the game to save Bentley and then jumps in front of Dr. M’s shot to save Carmelita (!!!)

Closure: or the lack of, smh. SP’s trilogy comes to a close and therefore the theme has to exist even if the game doesn’t provide the player with mass satisfaction. Sly finally gets together with Carmelita, Bentley finally gets over his fear and self-doubt and lives the good life (with Penelope), Murray kicks off his racing career, and we get happy-ever-afters for the rest of the gang as well

The 100 (re-) rewatch: 4x12 The Chosen

4x12 The Chosen

While this is the only penultimate episode in the first 5 seasons that isn’t supposed to be the first part of a two-part finale, half of the episode (the storyline with Clarke, Bellamy and the rest of the team on the mission to fetch Raven) is practically Praimfaya, part 1, while the A storyline feels like the season 4 finale for everyone who is still in the bunker(Kane, Abby, Jaha, Octavia etc.), although she gets two more scenes at the start of 4x13, before that storyline gets a direct continuation in the flashbacks of 5x02, Red Queen.  

This episode also feels like the culmination of Kane’s arc. After this, it seemed like the show didn’t really know what to do with him, except to make him a supporting player in the story of Abby’s downward spiral, which really begins here. (I do really like Kane’s final episode in season 6, though.) Jaha will get one last hurray in his important role in Red Queen, but after this, it feels like the leadership baton has really been passed to the younger generation.

My thoughts on the complicated grey moral issues from this episode and season 4 in general got too long when I finished writing them, so I’ve put them in this previous post. 

Other thoughts on the episode are below.

This may be my favorite Abby moment in several seasons: going back on her previous statement that “Maybe there are no good guys” (from the season 2 finale) and telling Clarke that yes, there are good guys, and Clarke is one. She is a hero. It’s also a sign of the show starting to show that moral relativism of that kind is not its final statement on morality. Sadly, Clarke does not quite believe her (as we will see in 5x01, she still tends to think “There are no good guys”, and even after changing her mind and accepting Monty’s message to “Be good guys”, she still doubts in 6x02 that she is one of them – even hearing Abby in her mind, voicing Clarke’s own guilt and self-loathing, telling her she is not one of the good guys.) Instead, she is looking towards Bellamy – wondering if he will forgive her (which he does, just a few hours later) and needing to know if he also thinks that she is one of the good guys.

I’ve always thought that the moment in 4x11 when she aimed a gun at Bellamy and burst into tears as she realized she couldn’t do it, was what finally pushed Clarke to fully understand and admit to herself how she felt about him. When we see everyone at the start of 4x12, Bellamy is brooding and looking at no one, while Clarke is hyper-focused on him.

This is the last time Clarke and Niylah see each other before Praimfaya and the six-year time jump – and it’s a bit sad that Clarke doesn’t even seem to say goodbye to her, but – even though Clarke did care for her and has tried to make sure that she survives, Niylah has probably always known that she was not one of the people Clarke feels most strongly for. That was already obvious in 3x11, when Clarke was focused on Bellamy’s emotional state (even though she had learned Niylah had lost her father). Niylah was a good friend (with occasional benefits) who provided some comfort to Clarke when she was traumatized by Mount Weather and wanted to run away from everyone, when she was grieving for Lexa and when she was feeling the pressure of trying to find a solution to save the human race from the upcoming end of the world, but it was also a way for Clarke to avoid the potential pain of a relationship with someone she really loves. In any case, this short scene is where Clarke barely even sees Niylah or can’t pay attention to her because her focus is elsewhere - is very telling.

Later on, after Bellamy, Clarke and others leave, Octavia saves Niylah when she almost finds herself thrown out by both Grounders and Arkers – which makes her later devotion to Octavia perfectly understandable. Niylah’s laid-back, kind and empathetic nature (she doesn’t blame the Arkers who wanted her to throw her out for being a Grounder and points out it’s a result of people being afraid) seems like a perfect foil to Octavia’s anger. Unfortunately, as we saw in season 5, Niylah proved to be way too adoring of Octavia and unable to challenge her and help her moderate her actions.

During season 6, I’ve seen a comparison made between Abby bringing Kane back through bodysnatching to Kane saving Abby against her wishes in 4x12, but I don’t agree with that: it’s a very different thing to have to actively kill someone you love, and I think it was very unfair of Abby to ask that of Kane. She could have committed suicide instead, like Jasper did. She was not able to do the same herself – she smashed the radiation chamber in order not to risk Clarke’s life, she opened the bunker because she wasn’t able to let Kane die, so why did she expect him to be that strong, or that able to turn off his emotions, to actively kill the person he loves?

What in the world made Jaha think that Octavia would respond well to him, of all people, appealing to her loyalty to Arkers as “her people”? This is the second time in season 4 that a Blake sibling has called out one of the Ark leaders for what they did to them back on the Ark (after Bellamy told Kane “You floated my mother” in 4x07), and I really liked that. Forgiveness is nice, but it’s even nicer when people are not pretending that everything has been forgotten.

We’ve had so many instances of Bellamy saying “My sister, my responsibility”, and in season 5 we’ll get Octavia saying “My brother, my responsibility”, but here we get a unique version of that with her saying “My people, my responsibility”- in the same meaning that Bellamy said “My sister, my responsibility” in 5x08 after poisoning Octavia. Is this the first time she’s called Arkers “my people”? In any case, one noticeable change from seasons 1-3 Octavia is that, in season 4, she no longer says she is a Grounder –which used to annoy me every time, because it made no sense. It’s not like that’s a lifestyle and you choose it and just need to decide you’re a Grounder. By season 4, she seems to have realized that Grounders will always think of her as “Sky girl”, so she doesn’t feel that she belongs to the either group. Until she decides to make them all into one group, Wonkru. (Not that this will end “Us vs Them” divisions – because the Eligius prisoners will become “Them” in season 5!)

It’s not just Indra who’s had an “Enemies to Lovers” relationship with guns! Grounders have now raided the Arker supply to get the guns for the expected battle with them. OK, but how many of them have had even the basic training? We know some did in the camp in season 2. Have they been training the others? Has Indra? On the other hand, not all Arkers are guards or former guards, or Delinquents who needed to train in season 1, and everyone (except maybe Bryan) from the Farm Station is dead, so I don’t know how many Arkers are that good with guns, either, and having half of the numbers of the present Grounders (many – most? – of whom were probably warriors, knowing what Grounder culture values) sure wouldn’t have helped.

I don’t know if this is the first time Jaha has allowed someone (Kane) to change his mind, but it is sure a rare moment, whether he did it because he realized that the last remnants of the human race killing each other a day before the apocalypse was bad for the human race, or because he realized that Arker chances were not the best and that they could have all been killed.

This episode has obvious parallels and contrasts with 1x05 Twilight’s Last Gleaming, and it bookmarks Kane’s arc really well. Unlike the first culling, which Kane deeply regretted when he realized it wasn’t necessary, this one is, but few people are volunteering to die this time. One exception is David Miller, taking himself out of the lottery to give his son more chance to survive – another example of a parent sacrificing themselves for their child, which recalls Tor Lemkin’s sacrifice for his daughter.

In the end, Clarke’s list did end up being significant, but Kane and Jaha still would have a few spots to fill, since some of the people on the list were not there (Raven, Clarke, Bellamy) while Octavia did not count, but since Octavia left them with 99 spots, giving one to Niylah, that means they had 3 spots to fill with others. One of them was Miller (who did get chosen in the lottery) and I’m guessing that the other two were probably also lottery winners that Kane had already announced before the riot started.

The show was still trying to justify its name, with this storyline of having to choose 100 people to survive. Then it gave up in seasons 5-6.

By the end of season 4, and Murphy and Bellamy were still not friends, and Bellamy still didn’t trust Murphy and thought of him as someone who cares only for himself. Clarke had, by that time, spent more time around Murphy post-season 2 and gotten to know him better, and be aware of his love for Emori. But Murphy’s change has been about having someone he loves, and starting to care for his friends – it’s never been about starting to care about general morality or the lives of random people he doesn’t know. He’s never been that guy, so his season 6 arc of wanting to become a bodysnatching Prime wasn’t really a big surprise.

(Interesting how we see characters say this line to or about someone they love._

Murphy was never troubled with ethical dilemmas of whether to sacrifice someone he loves to save a greater number of people, which also means he is really not troubled by the hypocrisy of being angry whenever he or Emori seem deemed disposable, while he’s at the same time treating many other people as disposable. For instance, in 4x08, he was very much in favor of testing someone for Nightblood, pointing out that it can save them all, and even admired Emori for getting that random thief to get tested instead of (potentially her) – and only became upset and angry when it was his girlfriend who was going to be tested. This time, he sounds points to Bellamy that he “killed them” (him and Emori) by opening the bunker, since they have no chance of having a seat saved for them. True enough, but what did he expect? That Bellamy would let his sister die to save him and Emori a spot in the bunker?

The reason Bellamy forgives Clarke pretty quickly after she tells him she’s sorry, is because he completely understands where she’s coming from. And he knows he means to her a lot. Just like he understood her motives in season 5, because he had been there himself – but what upset him in S5 was that he started to think she didn’t care about him. Which is why he immediately forgave her when he realized how wrong he was about that. Bellamy and Clarke can quickly forgive each other because they understand each other better than anyone and can empathize with the tough decisions they have to make.

In this episode, they go back and forth, discussing that issue, whether to try to potentially save everyone, or to save a close friend who would definitely die otherwise. First it was Bellamy calling out Clarke on having been willing to leave Raven out of the bunker to die. Later, Bellamy is the one to bring up saving everyone - suggesting that, if Nighblood works, they should go back so Abby could make everyone Nightbloods; and it’s Clarke who retorts that it would mean that can’t save Raven. (I don’t like when people exaggerate the whole “Head and Heart” thing to the point that they try to make it look like Clarke is always driven by logic and Bellamy by emotion. It is much more complicated than that.) But I don’t know how I’d feel if it turned out that they wasted a chance to save hundreds of people in order to save their friend. This is not the case though, because, as Clarke points out, it’s too late to see Nightblood tested – as it would take days – and they couldn’t even convince people to let them in the bunker if she was sick, let alone start making people Nightbloods based on that.

If Monty and Harper hadn’t come to save the group when they had lost their car, and instead had gone straight to Polis, would they have been left outside of the bunker?

One of the rare interactions between Clarke and Echo happen when Echo tells Clarke: “I was just trying to save my people. Was that so bad?”, and Clarke obviously empathizes with her. Clarke has constantly shown the ability to empathize with people, even her enemies. 

On the other hand, when it turns out that Emori’s suit has been torn a bit and she’s starting to get radiation poisoning, Murphy’s first instinct is to suggest to take Echo’s suit by force, and he points out that she had followed them and saved them just out of self-interest. Which is true, though I don’t think Murphy is right that Echo would’ve attacked them. That wouldn’t have helped her. I think she was waiting for a chance to prove herself useful, make them owe her, so they would let her in the lighthouse bunker, exactly as she told them. Quid pro quo. But the same is true of Murphy and Emori – they are also there on the mission because they want to ensure their own survival, so it’s interesting that Murphy – who tends to sees the worst in people – blames Echo for the same things he’s himself guilty of.

I remember someone arguing that Clarke didn’t sacrifice herself for her friends in 4x13, because she would have died anyway if he didn’t align the satellite dish. True, she would have, but let’s note the fact that Clarke had a guaranteed spot in the bunker and was going to be safe, if she hadn’t gone on the mission to save Raven.

Let’s also note the fact that Clarke gave her helmet to Emori, risking her life again (since she did not know if the Nightblood solution worked), saving both Emori and potentially Echo. Maybe Murphy, too, since I don’t see Echo just going down lightly and letting him take her helmet off. This is the second time she’s risked her life to save Emori’s, a fact that *cough* certain people tend to forget.

Let’s also note the fact that it was Clarke’s idea that they go to the Ring.

Timeline: This episode begins 23 hours before the death wave is to hit Polis, at least according to the characters’ calculations (though those have proven to be unreliable throughout season 4, as the death wave proven to be much faster than anticipated). It’s mentioned that the team going to retrieve Raven will need 10 hours to Becca’s lab on the science island. However, they lost a lot of time because of the attack, losing the car, problems with anti-radiation helmets, before meeting up with Monty and Harper and getting another mode of transport. By the end of this episode, they have arrived to Becca’s lab, and by that time, the death wave has already hit Arkadia, though that’s unimportant as everyone who was there was already dead or had left.

My re-rewatch has also helped me figure out the timeline of season 4 more precisely. At the beginning of 4x04, Roan says it has been 3 weeks since they made the alliance (which means, 3 weeks since 4x01). Since 4x02 was set 9 days since Clarke destroyed the City of Light, this means that these were rare moments when some time passed between episodes: 8-9 days between 4x01 and 4x02, and additional 10-12 days spent in doing repairs on Arkadia, before, during and after 4x03. But since 4x04, things have been happening very quickly: 4x05 started soon after 4x04 (the period of time Octavia needed to reach Arkadia after Ilian found her, and less than the Azgeda army needed to march to Arkadia from Polis), 4x06 on the next morning, and Clarke was already in the lab in 4x07, making it all just a couple of days. And in 4x07, the characters said the death wave was coming in 10 days. So, the entirety of season 4 lasted  just a little over a month (and seasons 1-4, minus the last few minutes of the season 4 finale – a little over 6 and a half months). Not only was ALIE wrong when she thought Praimfaya was coming in 6 months, but Raven’s assessment, made 9 days later, that it was coming in “2 months or less” was not entirely wrong only because it turned out to be less – half of that time.

Body count: Several desperate Grounders who were trying to steal the anti-radiation suits. (What were their further plans, if any? Where did they intend to find shelter during Praimfaya?) One of them practically threw himself in front of the car and was over by Bellamy. “As if he wanted to die”, Clarke said – and he probably did. I can see why a quick death by your own choice and helping your friends would be preferable to a horrific death in a death wave or slowly from radiation. The seven others were killed - six by Echo, one by Bellamy.

Hundreds of other people, including over 300 Arkers, were left outside of the bunker, so while they did not die in this episode, they were practically left for dead, which makes this episode one of the most heartbreaking ones. At least one of them chose it – David Miller, who gave his lottery spot to his son Nathan, in another case of a parent sacrificing themselves to give a chance to their child (which reminds me of the first culling and Tor Lemkin). Ethan’s father (the same guy who was giving speeches against Ilian in 4x06 and who now started the riot with Jaha) is certainly among those who were left outside, asking Jaha to take care of his son. Which we will, but not for long, as Jaha himself would die not long after, during Kara Cooper’s rebellion. Cooper’s husband was also among those left outside, while she was presumably counted as essential personnel.

Rating: 10/10

The Hierophant

The Hierophant: a muggle guide to tarot

A Hierophant, now there is something you don't see every day. Never actually. A Hierophant is a high priest or the pope as this card is sometimes called. Not exactly something that is part of our everyday life. It reminds me of a photograph on the mantelpiece of the house I grew up in, showing my grandmother and pope John-Paul II (pope from 1978 to 2005) from when he visited my home town in 1985. My grandmother told me it was the best day of her life. So we are obviously dealing with a religious figure here, with some authority but the meaning of the card goes way beyond that. This card is fairly simple though, so don't panic.

> ltr: Renaissance Tarot; Rider-Waite; Wild Unknown Hierophant

Symbolism

The Hierophant is almost always an elderly man adorned with the symbols of one or other religion, most often Christianity. You will see headdresses, robes, staffs representing guidance and power. He is mostly seated (thus stable) and accompanied by two pupils who seek knowledge and advice from him. He is flanked by two columns representing the gateway that this card challenges you to pass. In the Renaissance tarot the pillars are topped by acorns, making them obviously penis-shaped and indeed representing fertility as the acorn carries in itself the potential of the mighty oak tree. In the Dutch language they go even further: the Dutch word for acorn also means glans of the penis or head of the penis. A deep manliness exudes from this card. We also notice the all-seeing eye representing arcane and other knowledge.

Upright meaning

The Hierophant has several layers. The first one is the most obvious: the authority of institutionalized religion or believing what is in a certain old book or what old men tell you. The second is institutionalized knowledge as in formal education, taking lessons at a university for example. It's less about learning and more about the transfer of knowledge from a smart or wise person to another person. Thirdly it concerns rituals, ancient rituals to be exact: baptism, marriage (the ceremony, not the feelings), funerals but in a smaller sense also your everyday rituals and habits. On the deepest level this card is about conservatism in its purest sense.

> The beautiful and abstract Soul Cards Hierophant with both a key and some religious references if you can spot them.

Now I know a lot of you people out there have a deep dislike for conservatism because of the association with right or far-right politics or fundamentalist religion. Try to wipe that of the board for a second, we'll talk about that later. In it's purest sense conservatism cares about keeping what is valuable intact. I believe that to be equally valuable to changing things for the better. Everyone wants to change certain things in their life or in the world and everyone wants to keep certain things exactly as they are. Probably more than you imagine, because we tend to take a lot that is for granted and only notice it when it's gone.

> Hierophant from the True Black Tarot, my newest set. 

So far in our tarot journey we have encountered a rather progressive bunch: the fool asks us to be ourselves without any compromises, the magician asks us to use our abilities to shape the world as we like and the high priestess grants us all the new and exciting knowledge our curious heart desires. With the emperor we encountered a figure that is a little more conservative, asking us to make a structure or habit out of some of the good things we do. The hierophant asks us to make rituals out of those habits. The difference between a ritual and a habit is that you know why you made a habit about of a certain action (let's say to brush your teeth every day). A ritual is a repetitive action where the meaning of the action has become obscured and unquestioned or has transcended For instance forcing your children to brush their teeth even when they don't give a rats ass about mouth hygiene, it becomes a ritual they blindly follow. And they better do, especially since the cakes made out of poo incident. Or to put it another way: where a habit reflects a practical value you adhere to, a ritual is based on your deeper beliefs about right and wrong and the meaning of life.

Often, the key in life – and the key is a symbol often shown in this card – is to follow your deeply anchored and relatively unchanging core values. Look at it as you own personal bible, your own never changing truth. When confronted with a dilemma I find it often extremely helpful to consult my core beliefs. Of course this does not solve all dilemma's because once you think you have figured something out, life will kick you in the face and laugh at you. And obviously core values change over time, but that is not what this card is about. This is about clinging to them, believing them and applying them.

As an advisory card this one asks us not to rush into things, to think of what we could loose. To wonder if this is really something that aligns with what you stand for. It asks us to look at the present and truly see what has led to this and if that is really a bad thing. To the hierophant change is bad, unless embedded in tradition, ritual and a clear, uncut continuity with what has gone before.

> the Hierophant by the talented Kaylee Pinecone from her webcomic Tales of the Tarot, see the Hierophant here and the full series here

If this card represents a person it is mostly someone older and wiser, a teacher or professor perhaps. He dislikes change and likes tradition, old knowledge, he likes talking but considers listening to you a waste of time. Listen to him and take his advise seriously.

> the enigmatic Keymaster Tarot Hierophant: an imposing figure in formal robes and staff

Reverse meaning

When the Hierophant appears upside down things tend to get tricky. It can mean a number of things that are drastically contradictory so be careful and consider all possible meanings. Pick the one that feels most uncomfortable contemplating.

Opposite: craving change for the sake of change, being an iconoclast, a naive rebel, being against things without having a sound or realistic positive alternative. This all sounds bad but sometimes we need to get rid of things before we can see clearly where we want to go. A typical meaning is rebelling against your parents' religion or core value system. It can be very hard to shake beliefs you have grown up with but no longer serve you. But there is a warning though. As the iconoclasts in the 16th century destroyed valuable pieces of art in churches across Europe, so you are capable of inflicting irreparable damage to valuable elements in your life. If this card means you need to destroy tradition or if it warns against the possible disastrous effects of it, is up to you. Choose wisely.

Blocked: Authority and tradition are blocking you somehow. You revel in submissiveness to people in authority or to beliefs you might not even be aware you have. You might be redirecting responsibility in your life to things you see as uncontrollable or beyond your grasp. Ask yourself if they are indeed unchangeable. Drastic solutions are also solutions. What can you do yourself? Are these structures really what you believe in? Or is it simply wishful thinking.

Taken too far: now we enter the realm of reactionary reflexes, authoritarian power, a deep urge to reject everything new, challenging or uncomfortable. This is the realm of craving a past that never existed: when things were simple, truth was singular, change slow, identity reassuring and accepted. It is the realm of ultra-conservatism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, Romantic beliefs in a forgotten past when nature was pure, society a cohesive community and social relations fixed and comfortable. This past has never existed and never will again. It only leads to exclusion of anything and everyone that does not fit this ideal, which is ultimately everyone.  

> a rare female Hierophant by Casimir Lee, though it still has most of the traditional symbolic elements.

One cars spread – meditation on the hierophant

The hierophant asks us to awaken our inner conservative. To look beyond the modern idea of the individual capable of doing everything himself, free of all bonds of power or authority. It asks us to be passive, receiving in stead of transmitting or communicating. It asks us to be quiet, silent even and think of the past, tradition, rituals and if there is something meaningful in there for you. As homework the Hierophant asks you one thing: what do you want to conserve in your current position? How can you protect that?  What ritual (daily, weekly, monthly or yearly) can you put in place, or keep doing, that highlights that element? How can you truly embed that in your life so it never leaves?

No pop culture references this time, The Hierophant doesn’t go for that kind of things. Next episode: The Lovers

TLDR:

upright meaning: conservatism, formal education, core values reverse meaning: iconoclasm, submissiveness, ultra-conservatism

Taylor Swift on "Lover" and haters

John D'Amelio August 25, 2019

You might say Taylor Swift's happy place is at the piano in her Nashville home. "There have been so many songs that were written at this piano," she said.

"And it's often the middle of the night?" asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"It's usually in the middle of the night," she replied. "Or if I'm trying to get to sleep and I can't and then I get an idea. And I'm, like, 'Well, I'm not tired anyway!' And then kind of wander over here."

Taylor Swift at her piano, with correspondent Tracy Smith. 

It's kind of a rare sight, not just because "Sunday Morning" was there ("I haven't serenaded someone in a while, hope you know that!"), but because, for the moment, Taylor Swift was actually sitting still.

I promise that you'll never find another like Me-e-e, Ooh ooh ooh ooh I'm the only one of me Baby, that's the fun of me – "Me!" by Taylor Swift, Joel Little and Brendon Urie

And there never really has been another like Taylor Swift. After only 13 years in the business, she's become a musical force of nature, with an armload of #1 hits, more Grammy Awards than The Rolling Stones, and (according to Forbes) the distinction of being the highest-paid celebrity on the planet.

By any measure, she's an amazing young woman. But there were times, she says, that being young, and a woman, worked against her.

"You're always gonna have people going, 'Did she write all her own songs?'" she said. "Talking about your personal life, talking about your dating life.

"There's a different vocabulary for men and women in the music industry, right?"

"Gimme an example," asked correspondent Tracy Smith.

"Okay. A man does something, it's 'strategic'; a woman does the same thing, it's 'calculated.' A man is allowed to 'react'; a woman can only 'over-react.'"

And it seems her usual reaction is to get to work. Swift writes or co-writes all of her songs. And what's more, her music videos are all her vision, from the pastel wonderland in "Me!":

…to the giant dollhouse in her latest video, "Lover." 

That's also the title of her critically-acclaimed new studio album, her seventh. She wrote "Lover" on her piano at home, and polished it up in the studio. And once she recorded the music, Swift (accompanied by and her cats) went to Hollywood to make the music video, and she invited Smith along to watch.

There's a love story here, and like a lot of Swift's work, it's an echo of her real life.

Born in Reading, Pennsylvania, Swift discovered her love for music as a toddler. She set her sights on a career in country music, and eventually her parents and younger brother moved to Nashville to help her do it.

"My brother's a real bro for doing that," Swift said.

"Yeah, they all upended their lives," Smith said.

"For sure."

"It worked out well!"

"Yeah, I buy 'em lots of presents," she laughed.

The rest reads like a fantasy: Swift became a country music phenomenon, and, in the last few years, a pop icon. But the superstar is, by her own admission, as emotionally fragile as any other 20-something, "I'm still someone who is the first to apologize when I'm wrong," she said. "But I think I'm better at standing up for myself when I've been wronged. So, that's something that I think also comes with growing up."

Which brings us to Scooter Braun. Earlier this summer, Braun, a talent agent with whom Swift says she has a contentious relationship, acquired the rights to her previous recordings – her masters – when his company bought Scott Borchetta's Big Machine Label Group for a reported $300 million. Borchetta, who worked with Swift for years, says she and those close to her (including her dad, who was an investor), knew about the deal in advance, and that Swift had previously been offered the chance to buy her own masters.  

She remembers it differently, and told Smith she didn't see it coming: "I found out when it was online, like, when it hit the news."

"Nobody in your inner circle knew?" Smith asked.,

"Nobody knew."

"And you didn't smell it?"

"No. I knew he would sell my music; I knew he would do that. I couldn't believe who he sold it to, because we've had endless conversations about Scooter Braun. And he has 300 million reasons to conveniently forget those conversations."

With the sale of the masters to her first six albums, there has been speculation that Swift might re-record her back catalog, in order to control the recordings of her songs.

Smith asked, "Might you do that?"

"Oh, yeah," Swift replied.

"That's a plan?"

"Yeah, absolutely!"

Scooter Braun may not agree with her side of the story, but he did reach out to Swift in a tweet last week, calling her new album "brilliant."

It's clear that Swift wants to control her music:  When it's time to release one of her new songs, she does it personally, talking to her fans live on Instagram. This personal connection has earned her a loyal following. But her openness comes at price: She's followed just about everywhere she goes these days, by people who are crazy about her – or just plain crazy.

Smith asked, "Where is home for you now?"

"It's a very good question," she said. "I try not to ever really say where I am the most, because since all my addresses are on the internet, people tend to show up uninvited. Like, you know, dudes that think we have an imaginary marriage."

"And you mentioned that you keep wound dressing with you?"

"Yeah. I've had a lot of stalkers show up to the house, armed. So, we have to think that way."

And she's come under attack in other ways: You need only glance at the tabloids to see some very well-publicized feuds, and she often hits back at her haters through her music. For instance, in "You Need to Calm Down," she calls out anti-gay protesters and online trolls:

You are somebody that we don't know But you're comin' at my friends like a missile Why are you mad? When you could be GLAAD? Sunshine on the street at the parade But you would rather be in the dark ages …

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate 'Cause shade never made anybody less gay – "You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift and Joel Little

Smith asked, "I'm curious, because I feel like almost every album, you have a song where you address the haters, at least one song. Sometimes more than one song."

"I probably do have that habit. I imagine that I might have that habit, yeah."

"Why is that? Why sing to the haters?"

"Well, when they stop coming for me, I will stop singing to them," Swift replied. "You know, people go on and on about, like, you have to forgive and forget to move past something. No, you don't. You don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on."

"Do you believe in forgiveness?"

"Yes, absolutely, like, for people that are important in your life who have added, you know, who have enriched your life and made it better, and also there has been some struggle and some bad stuff, too. But I think that, you know, if something's toxic and it's only ever really been that, what are you gonna do?"

"Just move on?"

"Just move on. It's fine."

Taylor Swift's music is always personal, sometimes intensely so. "There's one song on the album called 'Soon You'll Get Better' that it's, I can't even really hear. I can't even listen to it."

She won't talk specifically about her inspiration, but it comes at a time when her mother Andrea, who was battling cancer, suffered a relapse.

Swift said, "It's really interesting because I don't think I have written a song quite like that before. And it's just sort of, like, it's just a tough one."

"I can imagine. But I can also tell you, having listened to it, that it's universal."

"It's just not something that we deal with until we have to, until we see it, until we experience it, until someone close to us is going through something like that. And so, writing about it was really emotional. And I'm just gonna stop talking about it now."

She's more comfortable plunging into her work. On the Hollywood set, a large glass tank will become a symbolic fish bowl in the "Lover" music video.

Taylor Swift filming the fish bowl sequence from her music video "Lover."  CBS NEWS

"I very oftentimes remark that my life is like a fish bowl, and that, like, if I were to, like, fall in love, you know, somebody's choosing to be in that fish bowl with me. To jump into the fish bowl with me and live in that world just with me – it's not as depressing as it sounds, I promise! It's just symbolic!"

Talk about fish bowls: she's been dating British actor Joe Alwyn for three years. Seems he's up for a swim.

At the moment, Swift is, well, fully immersed in today. Beyond that, she says she doesn't know … and doesn't really want to.

Smith asked her, "Do you think about, you know, 'What am I gonna do in 20, 30 years?'"

"No, 'cause that puts me into what I call a panic spiral," Swift replied. "Like, I cannot do that. I've never been able to do that."

Why? "It just freaks me out. When I zoom out too far, I freak out. Do I know where I'm gonna be or even wanna be in 20 years? Absolutely not. Like, not taking a single day for granted."

"So, how far ahead do you look?"

"Six months. Just 'cause I have to plan shows and stuff. But I don't know what I'll do after this album. And I think that's great. I tell myself, like, it's actually really ungrateful to just assume that you have 20 years. Like, be stoked that you have today."

CBS News

Hogwarts Mystery Ship Questions- David x Merula

This post is somewhat ironic given that I just posted the chapter of my story where Merula attempts to lock David in a room with Devil’s Snare haha. But I promise, the two were meant for each other. Here’s a full detailed list of their relationship. Thank you to @hogwartsmysterystory for the template once more.

1. How does their relationship develop in tandem with the Vaults?  Are they a hindrance or do they bring them closer together?

A: During their first three years at Hogwarts, David and Merula were in constant competition to find the vaults, with the former always coming out on top. This infuriated Merula to no end, and she always tried to one up or undercut him in some way by almost any means necessary. Ironically, it was Madam Rakepick who altered that rivalry, as she saw the talents in both of them and used them to her advantage. By the time they enter the portrait vault during fifth year, the two are already more or less dating.

2. What’s something that they really bond over together?

A: Dueling is a favorite pastime of both teens. Merula caught David by surprised during their first year, but David’s natural talent along with his own unique determination usually give him the edge. Once a means to harm or maim each other, by sixth year it becomes a way for them to let out their frustrations and relax. Both are avid Quidditch lovers, with David joining the Gryffindor team during Year 6 as a beater and Merula joining Slytherin in Year 5 as a chaser. Each love to talk to discuss the sport. Finally, each has a sharp wit and are rather fond of sarcasm, leading to considerable banter between them, which David and Merula quietly enjoy.

3. How do they flirt with each other before dating?  How does it change after they start dating?

A: David doesn’t start to seriously ‘flirt’ with Merula until late fourth year, early fifth year when he realizes her feelings for her. He enjoys teasing her, making jokes, and finds her reactions highly entertaining. For her part, Merula, not the best at public social interaction, begins a habit of glowing pink when they have an intimate or flirtatious moment together, but tries to brush it off with indifference or empty threats. After they begin dating, their flirting is more private, as David does not want to push her too hard, but during their alone time, Merula does not hold back letting him know her mutual attraction, touching him, rustling his hair, and sitting in his lap.

4. What does the rest of the Mystery Crew think about them?  Do they even know about it?

A: The reactions vary. Some catch on rather quickly that the two have the hots for each other, Tulip being the first, and she is surprisingly supportive. Rowan and Ben were mortified at the prospect of their best friend falling for Merula. Rowan in particular does not understand and it drives a small rift between him and David’s friendship. The Weasley brothers, though shocked at first, encourage him to pursue Merula if it makes him happy. Ismelda struggles with the relationship in a similar fashion to Rowan, worried that David is trying to steal away her only friend. Though David and Penny kissed once, she also was quite happy for him when she found out, agreeing that the two lost themselves in a moment of vulnerability.

5. Do you think any of the Hogwarts staff ship them or think they’re cute together?

A: The staff generally don’t pay attention, though some are surprised when they happen upon the news.

6. What rumors do you think would float around Hogwarts about their relationship, if any?  How would your MC react to them upon learning about them?

A: Much of the students are dumbfounded seeing the two former enemies fall for each other. Gryffindors and Slytherins in particular disapprove but Bill and Barnaby intervene to prevent any open hostilities. David, in general doesn’t care, but knows Merula’s reputation is much more at stake than his and so takes most of the hits and questions that come their way.

7. Did your MC or the character(s) you ship them with date anyone else before them? What were those relationships like?

A: Merula secretly started to crush on David after receiving a gift from him during Year 4 at Christmas. However, she had no prior boyfriends, given that most boys feared her. David, on the other hand, found himself sought after quite frequently. Girls find him quite handsome. He kissed Penny at the beginning of Year 5 while comforting her over Beatrice, however, nothing came of it and the blonde became too focused on rescuing her sister to pursue a relationship. During Year 6, David and Merula enter a rocky period as her torture at the hands of Rakepick lead her to push her boyfriend away and they break up. Tulip, whom David has always felt an attraction to, comforts him and they end up having sex. Being the ever free spirit that she is, Tulip acknowledges that she’s not a relationship person, and knows David will eventually go back to Merula. In both instances, the two remain good friends.

8. Does their relationship have a rocky start?  Or is it smooth?

A: During their formative years, David and Merula hate each other’s guts. But as they grow closer, that hatred turns to love. Even so, Merula is highly insecure internally, and has a hard time accepting her own feelings, as well as the conflict she has about her own beliefs. Public displays of affection are rare, and the two did not kiss until Year 5. In Year 6, with David still angry over his brother leaving him and Merula still suffering PTSD from torture at the hands of Rakepick, the two break up, though they get back together later in the year.

9. What’s their primary love language (words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, or physical touch)?

A: For Merula, saying ‘I love you’, is highly difficult but she has her ways of showing affection, most of which are physical: making out, cuddling, sex, etc. David, however, knows what she likes and will often buy gifts of sentimental value. Merula, once committed to changing her previous ways, does try and reciprocate. David loves it when she runs her soft fingers through his hair. Merula melts when David runs his hands up and down her legs. When going on more formal dates, Merula will wear a bow for David, something he comes to love.

10. How good are they at compromising?

A: As fifteen year olds, they’re awful. David is generally easy going and feels like he has to bend over backwards for Merula many times over, while she never does due to her stubbornness and unwillingness to open up. This leads to many shouting matches between them. But after they get back together during Year 6, an effort is made by the Slytherin to try and talk more about the problems they face. By the time they are married, both know how to hash their problems out without fighting (most of the time haha).

11. How often do they go out on dates and where do they like to go?

A: After the disaster of their first date, they agree never to frequent Madam Pudifoot’s establishment ever again. Quidditch matches, trips to Hogsmeade, and even the occasional beer at a muggle bar are all places the two like to frequent. However, by far their most favorite destination are concerts. As a graduation gift, David takes her to see Motley Crue. 

12. What are their favorite ways to be physically affectionate?

A: Merula secretly loves butterfly kisses and when David touches her legs up and down. David loves the way she rubs her hands through his hair and the method she uses to nibble on his neck.

13. What’s the dumbest or most ridiculous thing they’ve seen each other do?

A: David always reminds Merula of the time a broom hit her squarely in the face during first year. She on the other hand points out the time a fire crab set his pants on fire.

14. Do they like to cuddle?  Who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon?

A: In private, the two usually can’t get enough of each other. Merula will usually consent to be the little spoon, but one of her preferred sex positions is the cowgirl. Both will switch off depending on the circumstances. Sometimes, sex becomes as big of a competition as dueling and the vaults.

15. What position do they sleep in when they share a bed?

A: After sex, the two will usually fall asleep facing each other.

16. How do they comfort each other when they have bad days?

A: In her most vulnerable moments, Merula will cling to David or sit on his lap, never letting go. For David, he enjoys resting his head on her bosom.

17. What hobbies or activities do they like to do together?

A: Going to concerts, Qudditch matches, a nice dinner now and then, sex, and even muggle Karaoke nights.

18. What kind of gifts do they give each other?

A: David is aware Merula secretly likes muggle rock music, and often buys her CDs of her favorite bands. He once rigged a radio to play muggle stations so she could listen to the songs in the privacy of her room. He buys her nail polish brands, boots, tights, and also once fixed a damaged family heirloom. In return, Merula will buy him t shirts of his favorite Quidditch team, accessories for his wand, and even bought him a new broom when his old was destroyed by one of her house mates.

19. What’s their favorite thing about each other?

A: David falls head over heels for Merula without realizing why at first. He comes to the conclusion that there is a better person underneath her perpetual nastiness and wants to see more of it- her kindness, willingness to be brave, and using her unlimited ambition for better and higher purposes. Merula never gives up and has a spirit that cannot be broken even by her Death Eater parents. On the other hand, Merula adores David’s sense of humor, his quiet confidence, and his relative fearlessness. Though she never openly admits it while in Hogwarts, she also loves the fact that he challenges her not just in skill but as a person. Both, also find each other quite physically attractive. Merula happens to think David is quite handsome, and David witnesses her become a beautiful young woman.

20. What’s their LEAST favorite thing about each other?

A: Merula, despite softening over the years, still carries a nasty streak in which she can become petulant, angry, and even violent. David gets frustrated with her stubbornness and her need to make everything either a competition or an argument. He wants to get to know her better and be a person she can rely on but more often than not she refuses and pushes him away. As for David, Merula hates that he often surpasses her in talent and skill in most things. She often thinks of him as a hypocrite and as too willing to rush into things head on without taking into consideration the possible consequences. She becomes frequently annoyed when he uses jokes and humor to deflect or get around questions he doesn’t want to answer.

21. Do they keep secrets from each other?  Or are they very open and communicative?

A: David and Merula are not the talkative types at first. Neither one likes to divulge feelings all that much. Merula, given that she has trust issues, hides many aspects of her past, though she tries to refrain from outright lying to her boyfriend.

22. What do they think of each other’s choice in career and how supportive are they?

A: David becomes an Auror while Merula becomes the manager for the Weird Sisters. Both are supportive of each other in adult life, though Merula initially feels awkward given that her parents once murdered an Auror in front of her.

23. Do they have a relationship song for each other?  Do you have one (or more) for them?  If so, what are they?

A.    ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’ by Poison was the song sung by David to get onto the Frog Choir. It sparked Merula’s interest in rock music and it came to symbolize how they felt about each other. The song played at their wedding, much to the chagrin of Merula’s aunt. Other songs they enjoy together are ‘Dance the Night Away’ by Van Halen, ‘Come As You Are’ by Nirvana, and later ‘When I Come Around’ by Green Day.

24. If they move in together, when does it happen?  What’s that transition like?

A: They move into a flat together in London during the year 1993 after David is hired full time as an Auror. The transition, though messy at times, occurs without much hiccup, given that both have largely worked through their issues by now.

25. Do they adopt any pets or magical creatures?  If so, which ones?

A: Neither David nor Merula are fond of pets.

26. If they get married, who proposes to whom?  And how do they do it?

A: David is spurned to propose to Merula once he figures out Voldemort has returned. He knows that the risk is high that the war will split them apart so he proposes one day after a concert in a park in London. Though overwhelmed, Merula says yes.

27. If they get married, what’s their wedding like?

A: Medium sized. David has much more family than Merula does, given that she has no living grandparents, her parents are in jail, and her aunt is unmarried. However, the Grant family, despite initial misgivings, welcome her as one of their own. David’s best man is Charlie Weasley while Merula’s maid of honor is Ismelda, who is being recruited by the Death Eaters at this time, unbeknownst to everyone else. Almost all of the old Mystery crew returns, except for Rowan, who is abroad with his studies to become a Professor.

28. Do they have and/or adopt any children?  What are their names and what’s their relationship with their parents?

A: David and Merula do end up having children, three in fact- Joseph, Thomas, and Sarah. Joe inherited most of Merula’s traits and gets along better with his mother, while Sarah inherited her father’s tendencies, but is something of a daddy’s girl. Thomas is the quiet one, usually settling sibling fights and is highly independent. Joe is a Slytherin, Sarah is a Gryffindor, and Thomas is a Ravenclaw. Despite the personality clashes, the family is generally very happy, buying a house in Lincolnshire, living a peaceful existence.

29. What’s the biggest hurdle they have to overcome in their relationship?  Do they ultimately succeed or fail?

A: Merula and David both have internal problems that take time to solve during their Hogwarts years and after. But the ultimate obstacle is the Second Wizarding War. Merula’s parents are freed from Azkaban in 1995 and rejoin Voldemort. They also go out of their way to try and win back their daughter and sway her to their side once more. David knows this, and recognizing the danger, frequently moves them from place to place in the hope they will not find them. That, ultimately fails, but in the end, Merula and David remain together.

30. Do they participate in the Second Wizarding War?  Or do they keep to themselves?  How do they each feel about it?

A: David, being an Auror participates in the war, but suffers under the corrupt administration of Cornelius Fudge, and the incompetent, overwhelmed one of Rufus Scrimgeour. He must balance his duties with what he knows is right and the survival of his family. When Voldemort takes over, he ends up leaving the Ministry knowing full well the atrocities he would be forced to commit if he were to stay on. For Merula, the war is much more problematic. Despite their best efforts, her parents locate her once more and David nearly has to physically remove them from the premises. But they don’t give up, eventually kidnapping her in late 1997, forcing her into the Death Eater ranks, attempting to brainwash her once more. David then makes it his full time mission to find her and destroy those who work for Voldemort, becoming something of a vigilante bounty hunter.

31. If one of them were to die, how would the surviving party react?  Who would take it the worst?

A: Equally. Merula knows that David was the only person to truly believe in her redemption and value as a person. David on the other hand, feels he could not live functionally without his wife.

32. Have they ever said anything hurtful to the other during an argument?  If so, how do they go about apologizing?

A: Plenty of times. But this was during the formative years of their relationship. When the make up in Year 6, Merula formally apologizes while David swears he will never let her go again.

33. Is there any circumstance in which you could see their relationship falling apart? If so, what and how would they handle it?

A: It did, briefly, but the situation was not their fault. Initially, teenage angst, bumps, bruises, insecurity, and misunderstandings were the biggest impediments to a happy relationship. But when Merula was kidnapped by the Death Eaters, she was shanghaied, forced to commit horrible acts, branded with the Dark Magic, though she resists in small ways (such as secretly sparing numerous muggle families and passing information to spies). It is only during the battle of Hogwarts, that David is able to break through and rescue her. Due to this, and testimony from Lucius Malfoy, Merula avoids jail time, though it takes a long time for her to recover from the ordeal. Afterwards, they renew their vows and go on to have a family.

THE BLOODMOTHER

"Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together.” —Bram Stoker, Dracula, 1897 .

Name: Ysabelle Vavassour, aka "The Bloodmother" or just “Mother” [born "Aithe"]

Apparent Age: 28

Actual Age: 1,999 ["As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth."]

Birthplace: Gaule aquitaine (tribe Aspiates), in what is present-day Valée d'Aspe

Creator: Utha [le Tallec]

FC or Features: Mariacarla Boscono + with ridiculously long hair and dagger-like fingernails.

Likes: quiet, secrets, solitude, a warm throat, the arts and painting, taking in strays, being needed and solving problems for those she cares about, blood blossom bonbons, dark nails, dark eyes, Lia/[A face like a rose], the work of Gustave Moreau, cherubs (though she has none of her own, she finds them useful), music from the 1980s (Prince !), dark velvet, ballroom-style dancing, red roses and orchids, sweet wrists, kissable fingertips and mouth corners, blood-covered lips and teeth, Tom Ford’s “Black Orchid” parfum, the sharp inhale and thrumming heartbeat that come along with the first bite        

Dislikes: the ill-mannered, noise and chaos, Utha ("Let Hell swallow him, genitals first."), mobile phones (refuses to use anything newer than a flip phone and even then it's never on her person), driving (she flies)  

Goal(s): Broadly, eradicate Sire and protect her kind from destruction. She needs also to figure out the cause of her rapid weakening- but she has a suspicion that it has to do with the Wolves' strengthening numbers. She hopes to utilise blood-weaving or perhaps even reconnect with someone even more powerful to help save herself and her Coven. 

Fear(s): Weakening and passing into shadow. Ysabelle has a strong sense of family with her Coven, and her misery would be to see them fall because of her absence/inability to protect them. She would never admit it, of course, but she also holds a tremble of fear for her own creation- Sire, especially, since she has a very good idea of his capabilities. And, in smaller measure, she fears a lonely/empty existence and/or one where she is no longer needed. 

Rumour(s): (1) It's alleged that Ysabelle knows the leader of the Wolves, Sire, personally. Very, very personally. And that there was a child between them- a boy. However, it's not anything she would ever confirm or deny, even to her closest confidantes. (2) She is the Mona Lisa. (3) It's also said that Ysa obtained her blood-weaving powers via a similar deal with a daemonic force that allowed her to create Wolves. And that, because of these fearsome abilities, for a time, she was the centre of a (very) dark cult that worshiped her as a deity of "the flesh". Yet another rumour she will not address.  

TYPICALS

Wardrobe: To her roots, Ysa has never been a fan of covering herself (most of her blood-weaving is done without)- however, if she /must, she’s probably wearing something at the very least sheer and/or downright obscene. Rarely, she prefers a smart suit- but rest assured, there is likely no top beneath the black blazer and her throat is roped in pearls (each pearl gathered by mortal followers from the sea hundreds of years ago). [ And, yes, her nipples are pierced- that’s the only way this Thierry Mugler look will work ! ] Often uses a walking stick which contains a sword- a gift from her former lover as a birthday present. And, these days, she's never without a handgun containing silver bullets. 

Places most likely to be found: Her office/library (usually painting), bed, travelling/away from the Coven (likely visiting other Covens), night-strolling, or engaged in some ancient game of dice/cards with Zhang

People most likely to be with: Amaelia (the dish of the moment), Zhang, looking over [Sleeping Evil], Chatham and/or Weep-not (cherub attendants) 

Strongest character trait: Dedication 

Mannerisms: Dignified, deliberate (careful) and never ever rushed. If she's sitting, her feet are resting on a pillow (or in someone's palms). She considers herself a sacred being, after all. Ysabelle tries not to raise her voice- she has before once or twice, and shattered all the glass in the penthouse. More than ever, since she realises her Coven is edgy with the news of the Snow, she does not wish to put them over by acting anything other than cool and level-headed. The most anxiety anyone sees from her is the drumming of her nails on tabletops or a very deep sigh that requires the use of her shoulders. Since she's also quite the romantic, she likes to make little, torturous gestures with the ones she surrounds herself with- for instance, she likes to touch faces and hair and throats. She does kiss in greeting, both cheeks- if not a palm or forehead (if she regards you as a "child" or hers). (Something that's not nearly as fun for her with other Vampires as it is with a mortal- the pulse beneath the kissed flesh is what she likes best !)

BIO

Bloodmother is an ancient blood sorceress, powerful and mysterious. Ostensibly, the creatrix of werewolves as slaves to vampires. For the moment, she’s quite taken with her new lover, a woman she turned herself and seems to have an inexplicably intense connection with.

RELATIONSHIPS

with A FACE LIKE A ROSE aka AMAELIA “LIA” VESCI . New Dish, absolutely mad with bloodlust at the moment and incapable of roaming freely. [The newest member of the coven with a gross misunderstanding of the underworld she’s now a part of. But, for now, the sweetness of being doted upon by the Bloodmother overshadows all else. Igniting jealousy in some and fascination in others, she will be buried in the earth by her enemies- screaming for forgiveness- soon enough.] { f/c . Sara Grace Wallerstedt }

with BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYE aka YINMEI ZHANG . “Grandmother Zhang”, Ysa’s dearly-loved elder and second-in-command. The two pick at one another over their two century difference. 

with A COLLAR OF SPIKES .

with FUNERAL FEAST . 

with SLEEPING EVIL . Parental-filial

EXTRAS

Playlist: 

the devil & the daughter by daniel pemberton 

red right hand by nick cave & the bad seeds (the coven anthem honestly)

melting waltz by abel korzeniowski

when doves cry by prince [“can you my darling / can you picture this?”]

hours by fka twigs

one in a million by aaliyah

Name Calling (31)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  86,565

MASTERLIST

Moodboard by @talesofakindredspirit

Chapter Thirty One - Roses And Thorns

It took you and Bucky an embarrassingly long time and a very loud coughing fit from Steve to notice you had an audience. You looked up just in time to see Wade creeping towards you with his arms spread.

“What? I just wanted a hug!” He lied.

You met Tony’s eyes for a brief second before he turned on his heel and stormed away from you.

“Hug Bucky.” You told Wade and ran after Tony.

You heard the distinct sound of someone being hit and Wade yelping as you ran after your dad.

“Dad, please wait.” You begged as you caught up to him in the hallway.

He stopped and whirled round to glare at you.

“Him? Of all the people in the world Kit Kat did it have to be him?” He said hoarsely.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? Why would seeing my daughter sticking her tongue down the throat of the man who snapped my mothers neck hurt me?” he laughed derisively.

“Please.” You begged softly.

“Is this some kind of late teenage rebellion?” He demanded.

“Dad, I love him.” You protested, very much aware of how you sounded like a Disney princess.

“You’re a kid. You don’t know what love is and he’s not the one to show you. He’s a hundred year old brainwashed assassin. He’s unstable and violent and broken.” Tony yelled.

“Who else could understand me?” You asked.

“Not him. Not him. You want someone who understands you, date Romanov for god’s sake.”

“But I love Bucky. I don’t know why or how it happened. He’s the one I need and you don’t understand how much I need him.” You insisted.

“You’re right about that. I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you.”

“After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”

You recoiled from him at the harshness of his words and didn’t see the look of instant regret on his face as you turned and ran away from him, stifling your sobs as you fled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You had found refuge on the second floor, on a window ledge. You were perched on it, your head leaning against the glass.

What Tony had said had hurt you because there was truth in it. You did owe him everything and he deserved better but… So did Bucky. Your heart broke for Tony but Hydra was responsible, not Bucky and it wasn’t fair to punish him for what he had been forced to do.

Tony knew that, and he had forgiven the former assassin but that didn’t eradicate all the pain. Just like knowing it was hurting your father couldn’t eradicate the love you felt for Bucky.

You needed to pull yourself out of this funk. Vernichtung’s continued mental incarceration depended on you giving into the good emotions you experienced, not dwelling on the bad. You had to have faith that you and Tony could find your way through this.

You heard someone approach and saw their reflection in the window before you saw them.

“Remy?”

“I was wondering where you were hiding Ma’petite. Your lover is looking for you.” he informed you.

“I just needed a second to breathe.” You said.

Remy sat next to you and smiled softly, offering you something with a flourish. It was a single red rose.

“Remy I...”

“Ah, don’t fret. I know you only have eyes for The Soldier. Remy wants you to have the rose as a reminder of how Remy sees you.” He insisted.

“And how does Remy see me?” You asked.

“Roses can grow and flourish in the harshest of climates. The most beautiful roses have survived the worst conditions and they have the sharpest thorns. You, my dearest, are the most beautiful and sharpest Rose of all.” He told you.

You tentatively reached out and took it from him, bringing it up to your face so you could inhale the sweet scent, a small happy smile graced your lips. Good emotions.

“Thank you.” You told him softly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony found you not long after when you had wandered outside to look for Bucky.

“The Professor and I have spoken. I think it’s best you spend some time here.” Tony told you.

“I do something you don’t approve of and you ship me off to boarding school, is that really how you want to play this? You realise I’m not a child? I’m an adult, at some point you have to accept that.” You raged.

“You’re sheltered, you haven’t been exposed to many people outside of The Avengers. You haven’t been exposed to people like you. These people can help you with what’s going on inside your head and all the powers that are inside you.”

“No.” You stated.

“No? You do realise I OWN the Avengers compound and the Tower. If I want to send you somewhere else, I can.”

“You realise I can call Fury and go join him, or anyone on the UN now that I’m legit. Hell, I bet I could tell Wade I’m moving in with him and he’d roll with it. You aren’t my whole world anymore Tony, and I know that’s scary for you. You need to learn to deal with it though.”

It was a rare instance where Tony was shocked into silence.

“You will always be the person I love most in the world. When I think of home, I will always think of you first. But because of you I am my own person now and I get to make my own choices. You don’t have to like or agree with them but you do have to let me make them. I guess if you’d rather push me away though… Well just know I’ll be waiting to come home when you’re ready.” You told him.

“I’ll never kick you out. You can stay in the compound but I’ll be staying in The Tower for a while. I just can’t… I can’t look at you right now Kid. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but you did.” He told you and walked away.

A few seconds later you heard the unmistakable sound of The Iron Suit taking off and wiped away a stray tear.

“He’s an idiot.” Logan said from behind you and you whirled around in shock.

It was a rare person who could sneak up on you, you must have been distracted.

“What?” You asked.

“Your dad, he’s a fool. Hearts not something that can be controlled or reasoned with. You love who you love, there’s no way around it.” He elaborated, somehow managing to sound gruff and sagely wise at the same time.

“Yeah but the man I love was manipulated into killing my fathers parents.”

“Nobody’s perfect.” Logan retorted with a shrug.

You snorted and once you started laughing, you couldn’t stop.

“Your friends are getting ready to leave.” Logan informed you.

“I guess that’s my cue. It was… nice to meet you?” You said unsurely.

The savage and wild man still made the skin on the back of your neck prickle. He huffed out a noise you guessed was a goodbye as you ran off to find Wade before you left. Wade was, unsurprisingly trying to sneak onto The Avengers quinjet and being hauled off it by Bucky. Bucky saw you coming and rolled his eyes, dumping the red clad mercenary at your feet before storming off to stand with Steve by the jet.

“Wade, I’m heading off now.” You told the merc, pulling him to his feet.  

“Peaches no! Say it aint so!” He cried dramatically.

“Don’t worry, I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you again soon.”

“Oooh foreshadowing!” He gasped.

You chuckled and threw your arms around his neck.

“Thank you for everything. You’re a good friend.” You whispered and kissed him on the cheek.

“Never washing this mask again. In fact I’ll keep this one safe with my unicorn!”

You laughed as you walked away, turning your head to deliver your parting shot.

“See you around Daddypool.” You purred, winking at him.

You walked over to Bucky and Steve and the latter turned to you.

“Ok, Miss Grey and I have worked out a schedule for you to split your training between the Compound and here, barring missions.” The Captain informed you.

“You did what now?” You questioned.

“You’ll be doing sessions with the Professor and you’ll have a tutor as well to help train you.”

“Tutor… I have a… Oh for fuck sake.” You grumbled.

You turned to Bucky, exhausted by the recent events.

“Remember when I said I wanted us to just be us and then a whole load of crap went down?”

“Surprisingly I had noticed. Want to go home, lock the door and just be us?”

“Oh I really really do.”

“Come on then sweetheart.” Bucky said and threw you over his shoulder.

“James!” You shrieked as he chuckled and slapped your ass.

“We are in a school!” You hissed.

“There’s a joke in there about calling him Sir.” Clint quipped as Bucky carried you onboard.

You flipped Clint off as Bucky gently set you down on the seat and kissed your forehead affectionately.

You were going home and you were ready to relax and spend some uneventful time with the man you loved.

Things with Tony were rough but you had to have faith it would work out.

“Let’s go home.” You sighed and leaned your head on Bucky’s shoulder.

Outside the school Wade Wilson formed a love heart with his hands to frame the quinjet as it took off.

“Until we meet again Princess Peach. Oh don’t worry you, yes you reading this. Deadpool will return!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This is a fairly short chapter, to wrap up this part of the arc. Also my THIRD chapter today. It’s to say thank you to you all for rallying around me when people were being mean and to say FUCK YOU to idiotic cowardly anons. 

Bucky: I'm so glad we have finally admitted we are in love. Reader: Me too, I'm glad it's out in the open and I'm sure Tony will come around eventually. Bucky: Yeah, so should be smooth sailing for us now huh? Deadpool: Oh man, you guys don't understand how sadistic the author is.

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