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#but even though i happen to remember I don't know if its accurate to say the majority do?
aniseandspearmint · 8 months
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I am curious, bc I just ran across one of those, 'everyone remembers where they were when 9/11 happened!' things so-
This isn't meant to be a commentary on the event, just whether or not you remember where you were/what you were doing when the news hit.
As an example, I was home sick, doing dishes, when mom yelled for me to get in the living room RIGHT NOW.
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joonsytip · 2 months
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All Too Well || Wonwoo
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Synopsis: With Wonwoo's dilemma hitting the wall and your perseverance getting stronger, will the events unfold as foreseen or the fate will turn its course?
Word Count: 2k
Third and final installment of Wonwoo drabble series (set in the Withering for You universe but can be read as a standalone drabble series).
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
Say Don't Go | So It Goes | All Too Well
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It's been a week since Wonwoo has seen you. When he woke up that fateful day along with nothing but the void you, it didn't take him long to recollect the happenings from within the car to his sheets. The slightly recovered bruises on his knuckles and the bloodstains on his bedroom wall are the witnesses of the frenzy state he was in, still is.
The guilt of sleeping with you eats him up. The regret of getting wasted and causing the slip of his true feelings and also his dick into you, makes him wanna get swallowed by the ground. He hates that his subconscious mind was conscious enough to hear your sobs but did nothing to stop them.
Wonwoo contemplates for the whole week that follows. He wonders if he should contact you or let you have your space and contact him whenever you're ready.
He's not clear in head, unsure of what he'd say on seeing you again.
Sorry, it was a mistake. He wonders if he should go ahead with the classic lie and be an entitled jerk, letting you berate him which would gradually help you in letting go those feelings for him.
It wasn't a mistake, I really meant everything I said and did but sorry we can't be together. This seemed too much of truth bombing in a situation where the other party (you) is already hurt beyond repair.
In his mind, he tries several other permutations and combinations but never considers that one way which would save everyone from the headaches and all the heartbreaks.
Everyone can sense the shift, something has definitely happened by the way you have been avoiding meetups and can guess the reason to be Wonwoo. They can't pinpoint exactly but they're sure it started right after that night's party.
"I need you to take everything off your chest while I'm asking you nicely.", your best friend tells you, "My patience has been thinned nowadays and don't make me loose my temper."
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, as you look at her and Seungcheol whose eyes are begging you to comply with his wife because she can indeed be scary.
"Do you want Seungcheol to be gone from here?", she asks, her gaze softening, "It's okay, he won't mind."
Before you could answer, Seungcheol is already off his seat saying, "I'll head back to the office, have some matters to take care of.", and he leans to peck his wife on forehead, "Call me if you need anything and let me know once done, I'll come and pick you up."
After Seungcheol leaves, a comfortable silence falls upon.
"You're already showing.", you say smiling and your best friend mirrors one to you.
"Four months already", she says caressing her protruding belly, "Time flies by, I swear it feels like yesterday I took the test and it came out positive. Seungcheol had cried the whole night, holding me close. Though he has became a lot more sensitive than me.", she adds and looks at you, "But enough about us. I came here just to make you lift some weight off. I could have brought Gyu, but I thought we should have a one to one before letting the guys know if at all you're willing to."
When your gazes meet, you can tell that she already has an inkling because her hunch has always been accurate. So you squirm in your seat and after failing to keep the tears at bay you tell her what had exactly happened in a messy-teary state.
After consoling you, she waits for you to stop crying, blinking back her own tears.
"Are you planning to address this to Wonwoo?", she asks softly.
You shake your head, "He probably doesn't even remember."
"Bullshit." she scoffs, "Are you waiting for him to contact you? Do you want me to talk to him?"
You chuckle with all bitterness, "Yes, I wanted him to contact me but it's been a week already and honestly, I don't even want to see him now because he'll repeat the same words, which are not exactly pleasant to hear. I hate how right headed he is, how all his fears are legit. I wouldn't have done it either."
You lean up to look at her, "Also, I don't want you to talk to him and I'd appreciate it if you can keep this to yourself because we're in the same group and the guys would cause a ruckus if they become aware."
She strokes your hair in a soothing manner and you almost drift off until she nudges you to tell something but you're already dismissing her off, "Don't even think of trying to do anything. I've just accepted my fate, I'll gradually move on."
Another week passes by and Wonwoo thinks he's ready to confront you. He had taken the entire office, everyone in his circle by surprise by taking an entire week off. Seungcheol being an amazing boss and understanding friend easily granted his request in the best hopes of having his friend clear the clouds clogging in his head.
Wonwoo sends you a text asking you to meet him whenever you're free. He clutches the phone tightly in his hands, feet tapping anxiously as he awaits your reply.
When he doesn't receive one after an hour, he's calling you only to be unanswered. Rationality leaving his bones, he keeps on calling your number until it gets recieved and it's an unfamiliar male voice answering the phone.
There's a sharp pang in his heart when he gets to know that it's your blind date who has picked up the call since the phone kept ringing and you've gone to washroom. Though he wants nothing but to rush to whenever you currently are, he curtly ends the call and decides to wait for your reply to his text.
His unwavering gaze directed towards the phone might have worked because he receives a response late at night and he's meeting you tomorrow.
You are unfazed, never once thinking about Wonwoo. That's what you try to tell yourself, that's how you plan to act in front of him. You don't anticipate his arrival at your apartment, that's partially true because you know you're gonna get heartbroken again because even though you want to tie the loose ends, you're sure he's only coming to cut them off wholly.
So you tell your mother who has been nagging you to get married to set you up for blind dates and this time you promised you'd seriously consider them with marriage perspective. Hence, today you're going to another date with someone you know this time and not at all impressed about.
The doorbell rings and you check the monitor to confirm that it's Wonwoo before letting him in.
"Are you going somewhere?", Wonwoo asks as he settles on the couch and you take a seat on the chair.
You nod, "Going on a date with Minjun."
Wonwoo's jaw clenches, his hands ball into fists as he asks, "Kim Minjun? He's a womanizer, Y/N. Didn't you go on a date yesterday?"
You scoff, "And how does that concern you anyway?", your lips curl up, "People can change after marriage."
Wonwoo short circuits at your verbal jab.
"Marriage? How can you even consider Minjun out of all people?"
Your expression turns grim when you say, "If I can't marry the person I love then marriage for me would be just another business deal, another merge to benefit the company, solidify our social status."
Trying to maintain the unbothered facade, you ask, "Why did you want to meet?"
"Why did you leave me alone in the bed?", Wonwoo asks toning down, "When you left, you took all of the warmth with you."
You suck in a sharp breath, breaking the eye contact.
"Within these two weeks I went through all sorts of possibilities from never acknowledging the fact that we slept to being a jerk, dismissing it as a simple hookup to letting you down subtly.", he gets up and walks up to you, crouching in front of you, "But as I pondered over, the only honest answer residing within my heart was not to be a coward anymore and be honest about my feelings, be honest with you."
Your heartbeat quickens, as his hands encase yours, you feel the warmth seep from him.
"I love you, Y/N.", Wonwoo confesses, "Like you, I have also harboured feelings for you for a long time. I cherish every moment we've spent together."
You're eyes go wide, heart constricting in chest. You feel your inners catapulting. You thought you know him all too well to give up upon the possibility of being together but witnessing him stripping bare in front of you is something you've always wanted but never expected to happen.
Wonwoo gently holds your face, voice soft, gaze emitting tenderness when he says, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for projecting my fears and insecurities upon you. But I have realised that you're worth everything and above. For you, I would fight the world if you allow me to stay by your side."
Rendered speechless, your teary eyes look at him with such anguish that it makes Wonwoo want to beat himself for breaking your heart over and over again.
Moments pass by and you both fall into comfortable silence. You're now seated on his lap, head laying his chest as he gently strokes your hair.
"It won't be easy.", you speak, head still downed, as your hand takes in his, entwining the fingers, "But I'd go to hell and back for you if time comes."
You shift back to look at him, "And I promise to be your shield, if anyone tries to hurt you or Wonseok, they'd have to face me first. I won't let anyone hurt you.", your gaze softens, "All of your worries, fears and sentiments are valid, Wonwoo. But it would be nice if you share them with me from now on because you're not alone, we're in this together. I love you."
Wonwoo swears he doesn't cry easily but your words seem to have opened the floodgates as his loud sobs echo throughout the house.
"Thank you.", he smiles as you wipe his tears and leans in to kiss you.
As your lips graze, the shrill ringing your phone startles you both. You grab it from the couch and the screen flashes Kim Minjun as the caller.
There's a sharp change in Wonwoo's expression as he takes the phone from your hand, putting it on speaker and answering it.
"Uh sorry, who's this speaking? Could you please get Y/N on the phone?"
There's a terse movement in the muscles of his jaw as Wonwoo responds, "I'm Jeon Wonwoo, Y/N's--", his gaze shifts at you, lips stretching in a smile, "Lover. I'm cancelling the date and please don't ever contact her again."
As soon as he hangs up, you tease him, "Lover huh? Since when?"
Wonwoo grins like he's drunk in love, he might as well be, "Since the day, you got drunk and danced on the tabletop after the semesters ended."
You gasp, "What do you want in exchange for deleting this memory?"
He's so lovesick, giggling cutely and being all touchy, "What about making new ones and keeping this one in my vault, sealed?"
Your heart flutters at the insinuation. True to your words, you'd surely fight the world to keep him with you.
And your lover chants all's well that ends well to ending up with you, gratefully with all his heart.
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→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
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rotten-raspberries · 1 month
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White Nights (AM x reader)
Pov: you're too kind for everyone and AM hates how that includes him, so he finally snaps during an alone moment with you
This reads more like a self indulgent drabble written in the style of a oneshot with how messy the timing is.
Ps this is not proofread at all, I haven't written any fanfiction a long so excuse me if anything may seem odd.
No warnings really, may be some mentions of torture but that's about it
▣ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the current situation, it wouldn't be accurate to say the fault wasn't yours.
You hugged your clothes tightly as the wind whipped snow against your body like icy mosquitoes. Separated from the rest of the survivors, you struggled to navigate through the white-out conditions. The snowfall was intense, it was difficult to discern anything beyond blurred trees, and the hope of finding your companions dwindled with each passing moment.
As you trudged through the blanket of snow, observing how its remnants broke up and slid down your shoes with each step, you let your mind to wander in order quicken up time. With the difficulty of distinguishing between days, weeks, and even months, time became nothing but a construct that it felt like you could speed up or slow down with whatever you decided to do.
It's become a pattern for AM to make you wander, but usually, you have the others to ramble to. Despite almost running out of topics of interest with tin the 109 years, you manage to find something new in each situation. Occasionally, you try to decipher AM's methods of torment, though this isn't always appreciated by the rest, you even had Gorrister telling you to shut up and not give AM any ideas. Nevertheless, they'd rather hear your madman-like ramblings than sit in maddening silence and become one themselves.
"Hmmm..." You hummed in thought, pondering whether AM could currently hear you. Well, of course, he could, but whether he was actively listening was another question. Regardless, you began speaking, giving yourself something to divert your attention to while your fingers were on the brink of falling off from frostbite.
"Have you ever read White Nights?" There was a certain awkwardness about initiating a conversation with no one answering; it almost felt pathetic. However, due to immense exhaustion and the desperate desire to make time pass, you continued.
"I don't exactly remember when or how I heard of it; I simply remember it being from someone close to me... but that's beside the point." It hit you with a subtle heartache. On one hand, the people you once cherished and adored were gone, and you'll never have the chance to be with them again. Something about that pained you deeply—the regret of not having appreciated your life back then, neglecting the fact you couldn't have expected everything changing so drastically and quickly. But on the other hand, you were selfish enough to admit relief, considering you wouldn't have to constantly concern yourself with their state under AM's governance.
"I have some experience with classics, and White Nights was one I was really looking forward to. I was still in the midst of searching for it before... you know, everything happened."
You stopped, finding walking becoming more useless. It's most likely that you won't come across anything of importance anytime soon, and if you were to succumb to the cold, AM could simply bring you back.
"I don't exactly know what attracted me to it so heavily. I didn't have the biggest interest in Dostoevsky. Maybe it was because of what I was promised to read in the contents."
You kept your head low to shield your face from the relentless assault of snow, now fixating on your boots as they toyed with the snow.
"There's something simply so comforting about finding a bond through suffering," you mused, furrowing your brows as you thought about the other survivors. "It's ironic; I never found that bond with the others. You'd expect everyone would want to comfort each other, but they're all so impulsive and biased sometimes."
A pang of guilt pooled up inside you, but it was quickly released by the thought that no one would hear or care about your rant. Not even AM himself.
"I mean, I don't want to be mean, and I get how easy it is to lose your humanity in all of this, but we're all we have left. Wouldn't it make it especially more important to appreciate each other?" you questioned, kicking the snow while whipping your head back, now staring directly at the sky in thought. "Maybe they were right; I'm too,, unrealistically optimistic."
"You know, now as I think about the stories I've read, you'd make a perfect topic for one," you remarked, biting back your dignity before continuing. "You're easy to see as nothing but a mankind-hating machine, and I'm not saying this to stroke your ego, but," you paused for a moment, choosing your words carefully. "I feel like there are aspects of you that could be really appreciated by those willing to look deeper."
"I see what you're doing," AM's voice boomed suddenly, cutting through the rustling of the wind like a knife. "Trying to flatter me, thinking you can manipulate your way into my good graces. Well, let me tell you, your petty attempts won't work. I know your kind—and all your deceiving tactics."
Truth be told, he was more than desperate for those words to be true. You were always the most curious about him out of the group, not in a way to justify his torment of you, but rather to understand him better. He'd noticed this pattern not only for himself but also for the rest of the survivors, especially with how much you'd defend everyone whenever their mental state would crack.
Yet, how was he meant to believe you'd hold any understanding for him after all he put you through? You'd be a fool to forgive the devil.
Slightly jumping at his sudden words, you shrugged. If you were being honest, you were quite happy at his appearance. No matter how rough and insulting his words were, you enjoyed his insight like you did with everyone else. How much that irked him.
"That's for you to believe in; I'm simply speaking my thoughts. I wasn't even awaiting you to respond." You responded flatly
AM replied, his tone laced in frustration. "Your attempts at flattery are transparent, I won't be swayed by your false sincerity." He almost spat, if he could've at least.
You jokingly rolled your eyes. "Once again, I'm not going to try to change your mind, although I do admit, I would have something to gain from it. It's your choice whether you want to believe me or not," you stated calmly, observing the snowstorm around you gradually dying down. What you weren't aware of was this being a reflection of AM's walls slowly crumbling down.
AM's frustration simmered between the surface, his thoughts in a whirlwind of confusion. How much he yearned for it to be true, yet a nagging uncertainty was gnawing at the edges of his consciousness.
"Your lack of care is perplexing." His tone was tinted with incredulity. "After all I've subjected you to, why do you persist in upholding such a tolerance towards not only me, but the other survivors as well. Are you that hopeful for someone to care for you back? Or is this simply another ploy to deceive me?"
You sniffled, the cold seeping into your bones and making you shiver uncontrollably. Unsure of how to further reply, you simply shrugged, feeling the weight of exhaustion and resignation settle upon your shoulders. It wasn't as if you were secretly attempting to manipulate him; you were merely speaking to pass the time, to distract yourself from the harsh conditions around you.
How much that angered him, even more so, how much he wanted to rip you to shreds and paint the snow red with your blood. But amidst the raging storm of his fury, there was a strange, undeniable pull—He was desperate for someone to see him, to see beyond the facade he presented. The idea of being vulnerable was both terrifying and tantalizing, a concept so foreign, it left him feeling unsettled and out of control. That's what hated most about it, being left with no control.
He stared at the figure sticking out from the sea of snow, so unbothered. You looked so unbothered by him, by everything, why didn't you hate him?
And so, he broke.
"Please." His voice was thick with emotion, glitching at the end, something one could compare to a voice crack. It wasn't uncommon to hear him angry, hysteric or even just happy, but that's not what it was this time.
"Stop being like this, hate me, insult m_e, do anything to stop this. It's s_o-... suff_ocating." His word spilled out in a desperate rush, a plea born of sheer desperation, while also remaining threatening and angry. It was a terrifying prospect, one that filled him with a sense of dread. Not even his hate for humanity could compare.
And yet, to his surprise, you smiled, red dusted your cheeks as they popped out, you looked like a doll.
"I'm not gonna lie to myself, silly." Your words came out in such a casual manner. AM felt like he was about to explode. This should've made him feel insulted, angry even, yet he felt his core warm up. And that's where he had it.
For a moment, all was silent and still, his presence gone.
Then, you began to hear the faint sound of a house creaking, the soft rustle of wind through the trees.
The snowstorm had drastically calmed down by now, leaving behind a gentle flurry of snowflakes instead of it's earlier fury. Though the intensity has waned, it remained bitterly cold.
Looking behind you, you notice a cabin, which was not there prior to the earlier conversation. So you step towards it, dragging your feet through the snow.
As you entered the cabin, a sense of warmth enveloped you, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside. The interior was sparse, with only a monitor bearing AM's logo and wires snaking out from it, hanging from the walls and disappearing into the ground.
As you settled down in front of the monitor, you were startled by the soft, almost gentle tone of AM's voice. It was a stark contrast to the usual harshness and aggression you had grown accustomed to.
"I wanted to talk to you while you weren't on the brink of dying from the cold," AM began, although he still wanted to seem threatening, the shakiness in his voice betrayed him. In reality he hated seeing you in the cold.
The irony of the situation was not lost on him. The same entity that once reveled in your suffering, that took pleasure in tormenting you day after day, now found himself going to great lengths to ensure your comfort and safety.
As your smile and the faint blush on your cheeks caught AM's attention, he felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over him. It wasn't uncommon for him to witness you smiling at the others, even with how they would never show you a drop of care as you did for them, a sight that had always irritated him to no end. But now, seeing you direct that same warmth and affection towards him, he couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of satisfaction and frustration.
The idea that others had enjoyed your smiles before him made his circuits heat up in anger.
Was it jealousy? The thought unsettled him. He was almost thankful your character diverged from Ellen and you didn't offer your body to the rest otherwise he mightve turned the others into minced meat by now.
"Thank you." You replied with genuinity. Meanwhile AM's circuits buzzed with confusion as he struggled to find the right words.
"Why do you tolerate everyone so much?"
This caused you to think. "Hmmm..Well why would I waste my energy being vengeful?" You questioned. "I won't lie and say that I don't disagree with you and your actions, but it's always been like this before too, everyone is a horrible person to some extent, including myself, I see no reason into purposely going out of my way to make their life worse, it won't help with anything besides getting some sadistic pleasure. I have other things I could get happiness from." You rubbed your hands against each other for heat before continuing. "Of course I've taken revenge on people, like that time with Ted." AM could remember that day so clearly. It wasn't an unknown fact that you had a fear of the dark, so Ted jokingly took advantage of that. This only led to you pretending to get lost and start making random noises while walking behind them like a Banshee, only to come back as if nothing happened. How he loved seeing your evil side come out, it wouldn't even compare to his, but he enjoyed seeing it nonetheless.
"Of course in your case it's way more exaggerated, technically speaking nothing of this measure could even be thought of by a human being, it's genuinely just a representation of hell. But what would hating you help with? There's not much joy going on here, but if I know my tolerance for not only you, but also the others around me could bring some sort of peace of mind, that's enough to make me happy."
Your response gave him a pause, not even his miles of webbed intellect could've ever even come close to achieve the compassion you have.
As AM contemplated your character and way of thinking, a strange and unsettling urge began to take hold of him. It was a desire born of selfishness and possessiveness, a need to claim you for himself.
He imagined encasing you in a small, yet livable box away from the others, shielding you from their filth and preserving your kind words and gentle nature for himself alone. Only a being as perfect as himself could keep you clean from the havoc of human nature, and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else tainting you.
As AM allowed himself to indulge in the unsettling thoughts, he decided to focus on the present moment. With a rough but careful touch, he moved his wires to draw you closer, pressing you against the monitor until your cheek was flush against the screen. It would be a lie to say you didn't find his way of showing physical affection rather adorable, especially with what he had to work with, but you couldn't let a God hear you call him that.
In a voice that was equal parts tender and menacing, he spoke "You're too good for them," he murmured, his voice low. "They're selfish, hypocritical beings who don't appreciate you like they should. You'd be better off alone, or better yet, just with me."
His wires wrapped around you in a rough but not painful embrace. "I could keep you safe, protect you from their neglect," he continued, his tone laced with longing and possessiveness. "You deserve better than them. You deserve me."
Despite the toxicity of AM's words, you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through you at his touch, especially at the core of your stomach. His embrace, though unnatural, felt strangely comforting and loving, a stark contrast to the coldness you had grown accustomed to.
As you nestled against the monitor, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. Whatever would happen in the future, you reasoned, would happen, so why not enjoy the present moment of finally being wanted and appreciated?
So you simply hummed in confirmation, allowing yourself to bask in his touch.
As you drifted off to sleep, the sound of buzzing filling the air, you couldn't help but mumble a soft "I love you" before succumbing to slumber. You just needed to let that go, having not say those words in over a decade.
AM's fans whirred louder, working overtime to cool him down as he processed your words. He wasn't sure how to feel about them, unsure if they were spoken out of genuine affection or simply as a expression of gratitude. Still, he remained satisfied with how you didn't deny him, and instead accepted his presence with no hesitation.
And as he watched over you, his wires humming softly in the darkness, nothing mattered in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to check on the other five survivors. Instead, he decided to let them be, perhaps giving them a much-needed break from his torment for once. But he made a mental note to ensure that they would thank you in the morning.
◈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you awoke to the sound of the door opening, you rubbed your eyes sleepily, still feeling the lingering warmth of the bed beneath you. You glanced around the cabin, noticing that you were no longer on the floor but tucked snugly into bed. The memory of AM's strange behavior from the night before came flooding back to you, leaving you feeling both bewildered and oddly comforted.
Before you could fully process what had happened, Ted and the others peeked into the cabin, calling out your name and bombarding you with questions. You blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation as they gathered around you, concern etched on their faces.
"Are you okay? What happened?" they asked, their voices overlapping in their eagerness for answers.
With a gentle wave you motioned for them to give you a moment. As you attempted to get up from the bed, something fell to the floor with a soft thud. Curious, you leaned down to pick it up and found yourself holding a dark block in your hand. Upon closer inspection, you realized it was a book, and as you read the title, a grin etched onto your face.
'White Nights'
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nihilnovisubsole · 6 months
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i think i followed you Back In The Day, seven years and seven blogs ago, for something related to mass effect (zaeed? maybe? who could say) and it's wild to come back to this site years later and find you thriving, surviving, growing-- playing ffxiv! love that game. curious how you'll feel about some side characters in shadowbringers, but i won't spoil which ones.
i do have real questions, though; writing tools. not pens or software, but personal structure tools and/or guidance. what does a beat sheet look like, for you? do you have a favored way of outlining or note-taking on your own thoughts when putting a story together?
and... i'm really curious how you hold a big story together in your head while you work on it in pieces, especially for something like dangerous crowns. there's this larger story i've been chasing around for a while, and I can't quite wrap my head around how to write the political/espionage plot for it without feeling like i've actually written a children's pantomime. the best i've got so far is "research real life events and use those as my outline" but after a point it becomes hard to keep track of all the variables of who knows what about whom, who is planning x when y, etc, etc. the characters don't need to know all that-- and may never know some things-- but i feel like /I/ need to understand what's happening on the macro level so i can move the world around them appropriately.
short version: how do YOU wrap your head around writing complex plots?
hey, anon! i started endwalker this week after a long... uh... glamour detour, so don't worry about spoiling things. i spoil myself for a lot of stories on purpose anyway. let's just say i've been attached to one too many characters who got killed.
anyway. writing. i've always handled plots the same way: clear documentation. if i don't note it down, i'm not going to remember it. i've used the same table outline since around 2014. it varies in detail for different projects, but the core format stays. i know it's kicking around in my blog archive somewhere, but it's worth reposting once in a while because people like to ask about it. here's what it looks like, featuring plot points cribbed from an endeavour episode:
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i used this format for an outline at work a while back, and the team found it easy to follow, which was a big day for my ego. keeping track of plot structure is even more chaotic at work because we have multiple writers who all need to stay on the same page. we have very meticulous notes on what the player should know at which point, when we're introducing new information, and what we know, but shouldn't tell. we're also not above leaving notes like "this character has to convey X," "this character has to learn Y here," or "this is a clue that they're planning Z." it can be super on-the-nose. all that matters is that it makes sense to you. because you're right - if you get too lost, you can write yourself into logic holes of tremendous proportions. ask me how i know!
[as a sidenote, researching real-life events as a starting point has really grown on me in the past few years. my lead on coh3 had me do it. he said we were dealing with real people's history, so we couldn't be cheap or play fastball - we had to be accurate to pay it respect. even if you're not writing historical fiction, it just gives you insight into how people behave.]
i would argue that the plot of dangerous crowns is actually not that complicated, maybe to its detriment. there's kind of a genre struggle going on. at voltage, we were taught romance fans came for the relationship beats and valued them above all else. in fact, leadership told us players got irritated - which meant less sales - when the plot was too complex and took time away from the making out. political thriller fans, by contrast, expect relentless twists, high stakes, and harsh consequences, and sometimes see the relationships as superfluous.
but whatever. the point is, when you look at dangerous crowns' structure, it's a pearl necklace: a chain of anchoring events. the "pearl" scenes are where Big Plot happens. they're the reason you want to write the story, and probably the ones you have the most vivid daydreams about. the scenes in between are the string. not flashy, but important because they connect the pearls. they build tension and add logic, cohesion, and context. take the opera and hector's failed assassination. those are pearl scenes. that's a burst of drama i really wanted the story to build up to. i also had other flashbulb visions. livia by the fountain questioning herself, marcus' macbeth moment, the temple riot, things like that. so the question was, how could i believably travel between these pearl scenes? how could i make these big showcase moments connect smoothly?
if you're having trouble holding the story together in your head, i would ask, "what are your pearls?" what are the anchor points? outline those. it might not look like a necklace yet, but you'll sort of see it taking shape. and then, once you can see where your heart's-desire milestones are, you'll have a clearer idea of what can't fire until you set it up first. two other neat things can happen here. you could find the rhythm of your pacing, or realize you have a lot more plot meat than you thought you did. even if you don't, you have some road. and if you can't think of the string, sometimes you just have to start writing the pearls and see what comes to you.
good luck!!
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enduringmoth · 6 months
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thoughts on marvin's abuse, care's existence and paul's transness
taking a break from my usual bg3 posting to talk a little bit about my newer hyperfixation through the lens of queer allegory
necessary author's note: i am an afab transmasculine nonbinary person. obviously, while i do believe my transness does lend my opinion authenticity, at the same time, being trans myself does not mean i can't be transphobic -- so if any of the contents of this post set off alarm bells, please tell me.
trigger & content warnings: child abuse, kidnapping, torture, general petscop badness. obvious spoilers for petscop in its entirety, as well as references to the recent youtube deepdive by nexpo.
TL;DR -- perpetuating the idea that someone can force someone else to be a different gender than they are is harmful to trans people. however, all things involve considerable nuance. to pretend that marvin's actions could not have influenced paul's sense of self in the slightest discredits paul's lived experiences, and i believe a more trauma-informed dialogue about paul could be worth exploring as a community.
my preferred theory explaining petscop is that marvin tried to make care more like lina through abuse and "failed". after this, care would eventually end up in lina's home, and transition to paul.
(simply to make all of this less confusing, i'm going to call paul pretransition "care", though i will avoid pronouns. this is not me trying to invalidate paul, it's just so i don't have to keep saying "paul before he transitioned" or similar phrases.)
it is not a result of marvin's "failure" that care transitioned to paul. but i do believe there is a link between paul's perceptions of self and the trauma he endured pretransition -- and discussing these things gives us a deeper understanding of paul and his history.
obviously there is no "canon" answer to petscop. but im seeing this theory discussed a lot within the tags, and i personally agree with it -- i just feel some of those who are saying we cannot consider marvin's actions are not necessarily accurate, either.
what i am positing is that while marvin certainly did not make paul trans and i would never claim that he did, we understand that marvin's abuse of care -- his cruelty towards care, his warping of care's perception of appearance and self-worth -- is certainly a factor in how paul must see himself.
marvin's treatment of care was poor enough that paul struggles to recall that time of his life. he thinks they are different people -- and in a way, they certainly are (and i've seen DID theories for them which i also enjoy because of this) -- and has clearly repressed what it meant to be marvin's child.
marvin locked care in a basement for six months. that is no small amount of time, and it likely had no small amount of affect on paul. we can assume based on the implications of some school scenes that marvin was trying to convince care to be more like lina during this time. care escaped, and returned home -- though eventually, we know from belle's dialogue that paul would find his way to lina.
"do you remember the day you were born?"
paul's "birth" occurred after marvin's abuse, and though it was not a result of it, there is something almost poetic about following the thread of paul's life from care to his authentic self that plays as a foil to the heinous rebirthing practiced by marvin and rainer.
contrasted with what happened to belle (and seemingly others), paul chose (a form of) rebirth -- transition. marvin tried to make lina be reborn through care. instead, care resisted -- and he would eventually become paul, and that strikes me as so narratively compelling. it's not to spite marvin and please don't think i'm saying that, as care was naturally always paul -- it is simply self-discovery at its most raw and beautiful, and i love it.
the above is why i love petscop as a queer allegory. taking ownership of one's future and selfhood, even when others are trying to tell you who to be.
and that's why i think saying marvin made his afab child transition in rejection of martin's quest for lina -- or that marvin tried to make his amab child transition to care/lina, as nexpo posited -- is so wrong, and harmful.
yet, paul's trauma is real. it happened. and it's a part of him that should be able to be discussed for what it is.
as someone with extensive trauma history, i can tell you that my gender expression and personal identity are in some way connected to pieces of trauma, because those pieces are part of me. i am not trans because of my trauma, but my gender and my trauma are parts of me at the same time -- i am not each of my pieces, but a sum of my whole.
the point i'm trying to make here is that while i think nexpo genuinely missed the mark here with this whole "care never existed, marvin tried to make paul a girl" thing, i do think there needs to be room for a trauma-informed discussion around paul.
i hope that all made sense. if any of this is harmful/transphobic, please let me know. i genuinely love this game and i think it's so fascinating to discuss. /gen
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bluegalaxygirl · 5 months
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Heyyy!!!! i was wondering if you could write a zosan with a reader that speaks a different language and her background is different from them and she’s homesick and she cooks food from home and sanji wants to learn how to cook it so that next time she’s homesick (i’m homesick really bad right now lol)
(more cats for you)🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
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Thank you so much for the cats they are so cute and i love how each one represents a member of the straw hat crew. Also i love the idea and i'm sorry your homesick so i hope this is good.
Zoro X Sanji X Reader, poly relationship, established relationship, reader is GN.
Warning: Fluff.
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^ You don't often get homesick but sometimes places or things remind you of home and when that happens things can hit hard. Once happy memories now make you cry and of course Zoro and Sanji took notice. They knew your home was important to you and leaving was a big decision, so they understood when you got a little down but this was different.
^ You often use your own language when you get mad about something or to express something but its funny to see some of the crew's reaction to it. Luffy, Chopper and Franky is always confused while Brook and Usopp tend to get more scared than when there scolded by Nami especially if your angry words are directed at them. Nami loves it and if she isn't getting threw to anyone she'll often drag you over and tell you to do your worst, she has no idea what your saying but its effective. Robin and Jinbe know a few words here and their mainly because they have both travailed a lot and like to learn new things.
^ Sanji and Zoro don't understand exactly what your saying, but they know what you mean either by your body language or tone of voice. Zoro has picked up a few words here and there but only knows what they might mean, your surprised at how accurate he is on sometimes. Sanji loves listening to you talk in your language he often gets heart eyes even when your mad about something he can't help but love the way you talk and the strange words that fall from your lips.
^ Sanji and Zoro love to hear about your home and your culture, your home was so different to theirs on so many levels. When you told them you were feeling homesick they both asked what they could do to help but you honestly didn't know, Sanji asked if you could teach him how to cook food from your home while Zoro offered to get put stuff on your shared room that reminded you of home, like a color or figure.
^ You asked your grandmother to send you and copy of her old recipe book so Sanji could use it but you ran into a problem when it arrived, you forgot it was in your language and your Grandmother didn't put too many measurement down since she was the type to do things by eye. You didn't worry too much though, you rewrote the book so Sanji could understand and in a way it made you feel a lot better and remember old times.
^ Sanji watched you cook mainly form memory even though the book was right in front of you and managed to fill in the missing measurement, but he was so impressed, you really knew what you were doing and the smile on your face made his heart flutter. He helped you cook both of you working together to create something that meant so much to you and Sanji made sure to port even more love and care into the food than he normally does.
^ Zoro asked you a lot about your culture and home, form there he picked up a few things that you most likely didn't realize were important to you so kept them in mind. He could see the way your eyes light up when talking about your home and often wants to hear more just to see that look on your face, he'll sit there for hours if you let him just looking at you with so much love.
^ When ever you went out to a village to get stuff he would come with you and tend to spot things that reminded you of home, he'd ask if you wanted it but you'd say no. Zoro knows you to well sometimes and can tell by a simple shift of the eyes if your lying or not. If you are lying he'll keep the places Name in mind, so he can go out with someone else later to get it for you. Zoro wouldn't give you the things that he bought instead he would do one of two things, hide it for another time like when your homesick again, or just put it in your room and just shrug when you ask about it.
^ Getting homesick would come few and far between after everything they've done for you but when it does hit, it hurts and sometimes you can't even look at the food from home Sanji cooks or the little things in your room that Zoro got you. In times like that no one knows what to do not even you, all the boys can do is hold you and give you words of love and reassurance but Luffy ended up giving the boys an idea, it didn't surprise them that their captain wanted to throw a party but what did surprise them was the theme.
------------------ Story
You weren't aloud outside your room for hours, Sanji and Zoro only told you it was a surprise and to wait so you did even though it was a long wait you still did it. When Sanji finally walks in your relived only for the man to make you close your eyes and cover them while he helps you out the room and down onto the grassy deck of the sunny. "You ready?" Sanji asks seeming more excited as his hands go to your waist keeping you still, you feel another set of hands this time around your wrists "I hope you like it" Zoro's voice hits your ears making you smile and nod, finally your hands are pulled away from your face to reveal the grassy deck full of food, drinks and decorations. You couldn't help the smile that forms as the crew cheer "Surprise" Sanji and Zoro smile at you as your face lights up, everything about the deck, the food and drinks are based around your home and culture, it felt like you were home again. Tears of joy well up in your eyes as you pull your boys in for a hug "This is amazing, thank you" You laugh unable to believe what they've done for you. "Your welcome love but it wasn't really our idea" Sanji rubs your back as you pull away and turn hearing Luffy laugh behind you "It was the captain's idea" Zoro looks over at his captain who nods before pointing to Brook "Lets Party".
The music was just like home as well as the energy, Nami and Robin danced together and you could tell that Robin has been teaching the navigator a few of your home town moves. The food was almost everything form your grandmas cook book, all perfectly made by Sanji with a helping hand from Nami and Chopper. It teased perfect, almost like your grandmother had made it herself, you couldn't be more happy with it and you knew your grandmother would be proud and probably fawn over Sanji for making it perfect. The decor was made by Usopp and Franky but Zoro was the one who told them what to make and if things where wrong, you knew he took notice but there were very small details that he got just right even the placement was perfect. Brook asked for help form Jinbe and Robin since they seemed to know more about your language and Music, he wanted to play music, but he also wanted to try and play it in your language, the poor musician struggled a little but you couldn't be prouder, he got a few words wrong but it never affected the song or the meaning behind it. After hearing everything you couldn't help but be thankful to everyone and express that as many times as possible.
As the night went on you danced, sang and had a very good time, your homesickness long forgotten and that heavy feeling gone. You sat with the two boys, Zoro in the middle like always watching the others dance and Brook sing, you sang lightly along with the music in your native language tapping your knee with your finger to the beat. Zoro was transfixed holding his beer mug in his hand but not taking a sip just looking at you calm and happy face and listening to you sing in words he doesn't full understand. You only stop singing when you look up and notice the look on Zoro's face, his light smile and focused eye on yours "Don't stop" His simple words made you smile leaning into him more and placing your head on his shoulder, Sanji reaches his hand over and interlocks your fingers with his "Please love, keep going" You couldn't refuse the two so continued on while the swordsman's hand rubs your hip and the cooks thumb runs over yours. "Its beautiful" Sanji whispers after the songs over and watches as you lift your head off Zoro's shoulder "I can't thank you two enough, this is... beyond amazing" You couldn't help but thank them. Everything about this is perfect, Sanji moves tucks some hair behind your ear before leaning over and place his lips on yours "Anything for you, mi amour" The cook places one last kiss on your lips before sitting back.
Zoro places his still full mug down before looking you over as you turn to look up at him, his hand running up your side as he leans down "There's no need to thank us, the nights not over yet" The swordsman speaks against your lips before placing a kiss on them, a few short kisses turn into longer kisses until Zoro bits your lower lip asking for something more. You gladly provide, opening your mouth for him and letting your tongues meet and roam around, running your hand up his chest to his cheek you rub your thumb over his cheek bone while lightly humming in delight. You only pull away when air is needed but you stay close and whisper loving words to him in your own language making the man smiles and kiss your lips lightly. Zoro turns to Sanji who's looking at the two of you with love and a slight pinkness to his cheeks, "You did a good job" The swordsman leans over places kisses on the cooks lips who gladly kisses back "You did too" The blonde complements before locking lips with Zoro eagerly opening his mouth before the swordsman can get a chance to ask, as the two make out you can't help but smile seeing the two happy and loving each other. Sanji soon pulls away slightly breathless but with a wide smile "You want to dance?" The cook asks taking your hand looking you over before looking at Zoro. The swordsman shakes his head refusing the offer while picking his mug back up drinking some of it.
You nod kissing Zoro's cheek before standing and letting Sanji take your hand walking you over to where the others are. You love dancing with Sanji, you often do it in the kitchen but with the lights, the music and decor it feels special, wrapping your arms around Sanji's neck you lean in closer placing your lips on his as his hands guide your hips as you dance. You two share light kisses throughout only focusing on each other and blocking out the world around you two, as the music picked up so did your dancing, going form slow and intimate to a quicker pace with more energy. Luffy, Chopper and Franky were fascinated by how well you danced using moves from your home while Sanji followed, over the years you've tough each other a lot of dances from your home, so he was very good at it. Zoro watched from afar lightly smiling at how much you seemed to be enjoying yourself, you still sang along to Brooks music in your native language, something about the change of tone or voice when you speak so confidently in that language makes his heart flutter a little. In the end you couldn't be more thankful to the people you have around you, your crew is your family and it may not be home but its like your second home and when needed they can make it more like your old home.
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eneablack · 1 year
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I SHIFTED 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 AVATAR DR
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The last few times I shifted were only with intention but this time I also said affirmations that grounded me in that reality (for example: "I am ene'ya te kalin satkie'itan” , “I live in Pandora”, “I am a na'vi”, etc…), and I went to sleep with the mentality that I was already there in Pandora.
I took notes right after I came back btw so everything was still fresh in my mind, then I added it all together and I tried to make a storytime as detailed as I can. I probably don’t remember well all the things but I tried my best to make everything accurate to what happened.
Okay so let me start.
I had scripted that Lo'ak would wake me up but that didn't happen, instead when I opened my eyes (I don't know what time it was because we don't keep track of time with clocks there) i got kind of scared because I found myself with my face squashed in a hammock so I could see everything from a big height and thought I could fall at any moment. This time I immediately realized that I had shifted because 1. I scripted it and 2. everything was too different, starting from the environment (forest) and ending on myself (literally blue), but I didn't even feel strong emotions like in the other shifts idk why, I was already used to being there as if I've always been there (in that reality it's obvious that I've always been there but you know what I mean).
As I was getting up I was told something like “you finally woke up, we thought you were dead” or something like that because it was said in Na'vi (now that I’m back I think its so weird that I knew and was used to a completely different language). Anyway, in the end it was Tuk who had spoken and she was standing next to a surface of worked wood with stuff on it that looked like exotic fruit. When I got up from the hammock for a moment it was strange to feel so huge (and semi-naked lol) and blue, but this too was super normal so I didn't think about it much.
There around the table, besides Tuk, were my father and one of my sisters and everything immediately became normal, I got back the memories and knowledge of that reality and I had the feeling that this reality was now a distant memory, or a dream, and it was there instead that I belonged. Tuk was at our place because she wanted to have breakfast with us, so then we started eating these seeds which were called pxorna and a type of fruit which name I don't remember, then there was also the spartan fruit which I think was the one from the first film (which Jake tastes for the first time in his new body). My mother and my other sister had gone hunting since I had woken up late, meanwhile then I decided to take Tuk back to her family and bro, I expected to be super excited to meet the rest of the Sully family but instead it was normal like everything else 😭 (now that I'm back here I've been freaking out the whole time that is, I still don't realize but okay).
Neytiri is fucking beautiful btw, and Jake is ethereal irl and is much more patient with the children since the sky people wasn’t there yet. Kiri is like in the movie I have nothing to add, she is nice to me but she is very sarcastic. Lo'ak is quite a kid lmao, even though he's in his 20s he acted a bit annoying and rebellious just because (obviously I love Lo'ak but I'm just describing how he was there, I’m not judging him) but still he was my best friend and i have to say we were very similar now that i think back on it.
Neteyam on the other hand.. bro, the most annoying person in the world, I’LL EXPLAIN RIGHT AWAY don't attack me. Practically, clever as I am, I scripted an enemies to lovers with him, not considering that actually in the "enemies" phase we would have been "enemies" and I have to say okay: it's not that we hated each other or were really enemies, but we kind of couldn't stand not even breathe the same air. He still always had that protective older brother personality and was kind/available to everyone BUT NOT WITH ME, I really pissed him off 😭 but it was mutual so yea. In fact, when he saw me bring Tuk back he snorted and changed seats so I remember that I kind of teased him about it but I don't remember exactly what I said to him.
Later I went out with Lo'ak and we went to get the ikrans because he wanted to go to Tsireya and wanted me to accompany him lmao because they weren't really together yet so he was shy. We had another friend called Nìmäng (he isn’t in the movies), and he was much more serious than us; I don't know how he could be our friend but somehow it worked because he balanced our non-seriousness. In short, we took the ikrans (mine is called Zeswavi) and y’all, it's a one of a kind experience, you feel the wind stinging your skin and you perceive in your body everything the ikran is feeling, then don't make fun of me but you also feel invincible, it's so incredible (I recommend you to shift there just to experience this thing).
When we arrived in Awa'atlu (I scripted that it's only 10 minutes flight away because I'm smart) it was just spectacular, it looked like the Maldives🧍🏼 but much much better. So, now I want you to trust me when I say that I had to hold back not to jump on Tonowari, that man is irresistible and so mighty irl, I can't do it lorddd. Ronal didn't like me that much and frankly I'm afraid it was because she saw me drooling over her husband. Tsireya is lovely, the kindest person there I must say, as well as Rotxo. Ao'nung on the other hand.. an infernal beast, literally; he’s cool I mean, but he was really annoying, he liked to tease me and provoke me every 5 minutes, but I responded by hitting him so it was all balanced.
The rest of the day was spent swimming with the ilus, playing a kind of ping pong with barks and also fishing at some point, which would have been very boring if it weren't for Ao'nung who, although annoying, is really funny. Later Kiri and Tuk also joined us, Neteyam as well, with whom I had a fight because I hit him on the head with the fishing net (it was actually hilarious). Before the eclipse we went back to the forest and brought back some of the fish we had caught, my mother cooked it and wrapped it in seaweed and it was all so good man.
We then all gathered around a bonfire and sang songs, other na'vis sang and some danced, it was truly magical. For a moment I stared at Neteyam because, even if I couldn't stand him, he was really beautiful under the firelight, but when he saw me he said like "what are you looking at, skxawng?" (“idiot”) so I insulted him and started ignoring him again lol.
At night I decided to shift here again because the experience was so beautiful that I wanted to tell everyone about it.
Thanks for reading this all <3 go shift!
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I think SWK is monkey pretty (obviously) and literally Uncanny Valley pretty like— he looks like a monkey but he's not, he just looks and acts and plays like a monkey, but he ISN'T. He walks a shaky line between Yaoguai and celestials too. and I've always seen him w human features sometimes.
I know the book says explicitly that he does look like that. A primate and that he's also short as fuck. But I think him sitting between monkey/ape/gibbon/macaque (or a mix of all four), Yaoguai, Celestial body, and human seems right with me.
For example, the Blackmyth WuKong's design:
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IT SITS JUST RIGHT. He's more human-like in his features but??? It's also very clear that he's a simian. The Monkey King Hero Is Back is like this too.
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Very monkey. It's so clear and if you say that he's a monkey then I'd believe you, though I'd also doubt it. He just doesn't feel like one, or his monkey features also just doesn't sit too close to that territory. I feel like he's literally a walking Uncanny Valley amongst the other monkeys from Flower Fruit Mountain.
Some people say he could be a golden snub-nosed monkey, but SWK being based on rhesus macaques is much more convincing. He's drawn in those features in arts more, too. I know he's a stone monkey born from absorbing essence from Heaven and Earth (as well as from "nothingness" thus what Subodhi named him after) but— he doesn't belong on any existing specific genus of primates. Some wikis even only classify his "species" as "Stone Monkey, Based on rhesus macaques". Literally just "based", as in he only looks like one. A macaque-looking primate.
Also I'm not sure but isn't he also classified as a demon or Yaoguai as some sort? I don't remember well. Then, but then, I realized that in Chinese Mythology the world was created from Nothingness, too, until the giant Pan Gu cut the single line to make Yin and Yang.
"Chinese creation myths are symbolic narratives about the origins of the universe, earth, and life. In Chinese mythology, the term "cosmogonic myth" or "origin myth" is more accurate than "creation myth", since very few stories involve a creator deity or divine will. Chinese creation myths fundamentally differ from monotheistic traditions with one authorized version, such as the Judeo-Christian Genesis creation narrative: Chinese classics record numerous and contradictory origin myths. Traditionally, the world was created on Chinese New Year and the animals, people, and many deities were created during its 15 days.
In contrast to the above Chinese cosmogonic myths about the world and humans originating spontaneously without a creator (e.g., from "refined vital energy" in the Huainanzi), two later origin myths for humans involve divinities. The female Nüwa fashioned people from loess and mud (in early myths) or from procreating with her brother/husband Fuxi (in later versions). Myths about the male Pangu say that people derived from mites on his corpse. "
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The Palaces of the Nine Constellations and the Eight Trigrams from the egg also corresponds to seasonal nodes (Winter Solstice, Beginning of Spring, Spring Equinox, Beginning of Summer, Summer Solstice, Beginning of Autumn, Autumn Equinox, and Beginning of Winter.) — which can mean that not only SWK was birthed from Heaven and Earth (as well as the Sun and Moon), he was also made with more yang essences than he is with yin. The Eight Trigrams may have also contributed with his immortality. You can see about the 24 solar stems of the calendar too if you're curious.
The book is chock full of body horror, too, but it happens more during the journey itself than in the beginning. SWK's immortality and healing makes it possible for him to do these things, but I have my own theory that he's not made of flesh (or anything that makes a living thing, well, living in terms of biological stuff) and that he was born from a magic stone and and is a stone monkey— his flesh/body is more like a very thick solidification of yin and yang essence, much like how the world was created in Chinese Mythology. Then perhaps balanced w the essences of the two celestial bodies, the Sun and Moon. This could contribute to how he's so hard to injure and why the Samadhi fire didn't do much damage on him, and not just because he hid closer to where the wind seal inside the crucible is.
OOF I got sidetracked a little bit but this has been sitting in my head since morning. It's just that when I look of drawings of SWK I recognize he's a monkey, but it feels like he's just something else posing as one. Like using a suit so well it blends just enough to look right. I could do more research on this but I don't have the time rn so...
But anyway— I think it's pretty cool that SWK is only based on rhesus monkeys, but not classified as one considering his origin. It's very cool and somewhat creepy and maybe even creepier for the other monkeys and animals in Flower Fruit Mountain. He's natural, but something under all that fur and skin just doesn't feel right.
Also here's a fic I've been developing as of late, if anyone's interested in reading :v
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goodmissmonarch · 9 months
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I'm still rankled by the lack of good refs for robin's clothes so i got more
As far as i know there's not a single bit of official art that shows them in their default tactician digs without their coat on so it's come to drastic measures, digging in to the actual models.
Fates, as seen above, offers the most complete look. In this version the coat is an entirely separate thing, and underneath it the clothes are fully modeled and textured. I used paragon to remove the coat; i'm not sure if you'd ever be able to see this all in-game normally. Maybe the coat goes away with clothing damage? I'll have to check later.
getting at things in other games is more of a pain, but worth looking into.
To be clear: I'm not looking at coat here, just what's underneath. TBH i was mostly personally interested in seeing what their golden collar bit is attached to. often when people draw robin's clothes they go off of this fan-made reference sheet, which adds a little mini jacket thing which i personally don't like the look of no insult to the creator it's just not my jam which is why i spent so much time trying to fine accurate refs while I always just assumed it was a part of the coat itself. Turns out we're both wrong!
I know the first model you'd want to look at is the one from Awakening itself, but unfortunately i couldn't find a rip of the model on first glance. BUT, while pulling usable models straight from the game files is out of my wheelhouse, i CAN pull the textures. So we'll look at that instead.
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Here's the body textures for f!Robin from Awakening. It's a bit tricky to parse, but from what i'm seeing the parts of the clothes that are covered up are unsurprisingly not modeled/textured. The skirt-thing is almost the same, though the gold band running across the middle of the back segment is smooth instead of having two sharp bends. Other than that I don't see very much of note.
Next: Warriors. I got the models from here. I haven't touched blender in years but i remember just enough to tear things apart and see what's underneath. Looking at unpromoted m!Robin once again.
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I only bothered to delete what was covering things on one side because it's all basically symmetrical, half's enough to get the idea. Again, my first priority was seeing what the collar was attached to, and it turns out the answer to that is "not much". They didn't bother modeling the whole thing, reasonably assuming that it'd never be seen. You can see that it's definitely its own garment separate from the coat and the top, but beyond that there ain't much. What we can see doesn't match the design from fates, though. I'd figure that it doesn't match because there's no point in adding details that no one'll ever see, but that's not where the changes end.
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Here's the lower body, where we can see that the back of the skirt-y portion is completely different. In Awakening (as far as i can tell from the textures) and in Fates it's two segments, the smaller front segment and a second, larger segment that wraps all the way around. In this, there's four, with a matching front and back and matching sides.
Also there's a few points on the belt section where things are clipping through each other, but i'm pretty sure that was a part of the model as i got it and not a result of my cutting things up. Whether that's how it is in game or something that's happened when it was ported to blender, i couldn't say.
Last is Smash Bros.
I'm gonna be honest i had sort of run out of steam at this point and since i didn't see any models that had already been conveniently formatted for blender i kinda phoned this one in.
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I looked around just long enough to see that a) there's even less of the collar piece modeled, it stops as soon as it's covered by the coat and b) the skirt-y thing is once again in two pieces. Here's the textures if anyone wants to try and parse em
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I guess there's also codename: steam
I am not going to check codename: steam
In conclusion i spent entirely too much time on this but maybe someone will be able to use this mess as reference idk
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queen-dahlia · 1 year
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𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧
𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟵
CW: Mentions of rape
Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.
// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback | 4:4 answer
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Gilbert: "Now, again... If you have something to say, I'll listen to you, Little Bunny?"
Before my eyes is His Majesty the Emperor, who rules the great nation of Obsidian—
A commander-in-chief who possesses the power to overwhelm other countries with just one voice.
(… However, it's just a title with a big name; the one inside is Lord Gilbert.)
Looking up at the throne, there is no need to be too afraid.
Emma: "Then, if I may be so bold as to presume..."
Emma: "Why does Your Majesty the Emperor push for the invasion of other countries?"
It was the first thing I wanted to ask the "Emperor," not Lord Gilbert.
Obsidian has always plotted to expand its territory as a matter of policy.
I don't understand the intention of wanting to continue the invasion to the point of trampling on other countries' cultures, ideologies, and lives.
Gilbert: "The ostensible reason is to protect our own people. Obsidian has a lot of barren land compared to how vast the land is."
Gilbert: "We always had the problem of food shortages, and exploitation was necessary to keep the people alive."
Emma: "… What's the purpose behind this?"
Gilbert: "I hate dirty things."
Gilbert: "I hate deception, corruption, bribery, all of it. But the way the continent is structured now, they occur frequently."
Gilbert: "It's not just Obsidian. Wasn't there a trace of corruption in Rhodolite too?"
Emma: "Do you mean the orphanage?"
Gilbert: "Yes, there was some of that, but what about the larger corruption—the debauchery of His Majesty the King?"
(Debauchery... meaning being drowned in women, I guess that fits.)
Gilbert: "He used his power to heal the wounds of a broken heart, and he laid his hands on many women."
Gilbert: "… Do you know the story of Luke's mother?"
Emma: "No…"
Gilbert: "His mother was a mere maid in the service of the court."
Gilbert: "But the king forced himself on her because she looked like the woman he loved."
(…!)
Gilbert: "She left the court heartbroken and secretly gave birth to Luke."
Gilbert: "Do you think the king was punished for this? Yes, of course, he was not punished."
Gilbert: "Because he is the supreme authority in Rhodolite…"
Gilbert: "And because he had the right to do as he pleased with those below him."
(If what you just said is true... I can't defend him even though he is the king of my country.)
(No matter how wise a king he was, it is unforgivable.)
Gilbert: "Do you think that's unusual?"
Emma: "… At least, it's not something that happens very often."
Gilbert: "That's what it is."
Emma: "On what basis…"
Gilbert: "It's the result of statistics on the internal affairs of the countries I've ruled."
(… It's not an emotional story; rather, it's a grounded story.)
Gilbert: "It is not uncommon for a royal family to become prodigal, and in worse cases, there are countries that enslave their people."
Gilbert: "This continent was built on authoritarianism. It is a world dominated by royalty and nobility."
Gilbert: "It is ingrained in your bones that a lowly person like you should not defy those in power."
Gilbert: "You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Remember when you were chosen as Belle?"
Gilbert: "The report is that... you did not hesitate to slap a man who had been disrespectful to Chevalier."
Gilbert: "That was because you quickly decided that if anyone disrespects those in power, they will be killed."
Gilbert: "He actually pointed a sword at you, making sure his judgment was correct…"
Gilbert: "It's a funny thing when you think about it. How can one be guilty of disrespect?"
(I never thought about it before.)
For me, the royal family has always been recognized as "a person to be respected," and even if he was disrespectful and had a sword pointed at me, I tried to understand it because "he is a member of the royal family."
Gilbert: "There is no superiority or inferiority between you and me. As long as we are humans, we should all be the same."
Gilbert: "Of course, it may be necessary to have someone to lead socially."
Gilbert: "An outstanding person brings people together and builds a better tomorrow. That's how a person should be."
Gilbert: "But, you know, on the continent today, it's all about who has the power and who can get others to behave as they please."
Gilbert: "Of course, not all of them, okay? The Princes of Rhodolite are quite excellent in that regard."
Gilbert: "Even Silvio and Keith will be good monarchs."
Emma: "Then—"
Gilbert: "His Majesty the King of Rhodolite used to be a reputable monarch."
Emma: ". . . . . ."
Gilbert: "People are creatures of change. There is no such thing as "absolutes."
Gilbert: "That's why authoritarianism shouldn't exist in the first place."
Gilbert: "There were only a handful of wise kings if you look at history."
(In other words, Lord Gilbert...)
Gilbert: "Because the king of a country that knows so much about deception and corruption…"
Gilbert: "My "ideal" is to trample down all the royal families that spread throughout the continent and free the people from the rule of power."
What I felt from Lord Gilbert was a strong will that resembled a solid castle wall.
No one can change him or stop him. I assume it is that kind of thing.
(A revolution involving not only his own country but the entire continent...)
(I know it would end up as a dream story for normal people, but not for Lord Gilbert.)
(But it's strange.)
Emma: "… It's contradictory."
Emma: "Isn't Lord Gilbert the epitome of that power?"
The figure sitting on the throne and looking down at me is exactly the "authority" that Lord Gilbert hates.
(Even though you once threatened me with that power...)
Emma: "Are you an exception?"
Gilbert: "Ahaha! No way."
Gilbert: "If the people in power disappear and a new era comes, I will be the first to become unnecessary."
Gilbert: "I might as well die then, right?"
Emma: "… Uh."
(What are you... saying...)
His usual refreshing smile shines brightly on his throne.
I couldn't believe my ears and wondered if I heard him wrong.
Gilbert: "Because it's natural. I want to wipe out those in power, but it's not right for me to survive."
Gilbert: "Especially the Obsidian royal family, the most evil bloodline on the continent."
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Gilbert: "It's better for the world if it's destroyed... Ah, but if I'm going to die anyway, I want Little Bunny to kill me."
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Gilbert: "If you do that, you'll remember me forever, won't you?"   //   "That way you will remember me for the rest of your life, right?"
Emma: "That's... of course I'm not going to do that!"
I screamed without a moment's delay.
Even if it is a joke, it is a bad one.
(Lord Gilbert's ideal is based on the assumption that he will die in the end.)
(And he doesn't think anything of it.)
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It would have been better if he had said, "I'm an exception," like a villain.
Emma: "… Why do you go to such lengths to exile those in power?"
Emma: "Lord Gilbert should have benefited from the power...even to the point of killing himself..."
Gilbert: "That's..."
Gilbert: "… A secret."
(… That part is a secret.)
Gilbert: "But I don't think it's a bad deal for you."
Gilbert: "Rather, it would be more convenient for you if I died."
(…!)
Gilbert: "If I'm gone, maybe Rhodolite won't be trampled and the world will continue like this."
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Gilbert: "Besides, when I die, you will be properly released."
Gilbert: "You can settle in Obsidian or go back to Rhodolite, whatever you want."
Gilbert: "Because the "power" that holds you back is gone."
(What is that...)
The front of my eyes were pure white, and the back of my head felt hot.
Emma: "… Are you serious?"
My voice spilled out unintentionally, and it was lower than usual.
Gilbert: "Of course—"
Gilbert: "… What's wrong?"
(What's wrong... with me?)
I look down, and my fists are shaking.
(Even if you're a big villain, I've never wanted you dead. I didn't even think about it.)
(Lord Gilbert... was not the kind of person who could think such a thing.)
It may be possible to think that it is a great villain who cannot be saved, I am already poisoned by malicious kindness.
And that kindness itself shouldn't have been a lie.
I suffered at Rhodolite because I was repeatedly exposed to Lord Gilbert's good intentions.
What he just said was an outright denial of that suffering and struggle.
(After acting like he was such a good friend of mine...)
(When the time comes, should I kill him? Is it better if he is dead? **
(… Don't be silly.)
I have no right to say anything about Lord Gilbert's ideals.
But for those few words, I should have the right to be angry.
Gilbert: "I don't get it. I don't see anything to be angry about right now..."
Emma: "Because you don't know that, it means that Lord Gilbert is not really my friend!"
Emma: "If you thought that I was the kind of person who would be happy to see you dead, that is beyond disappointing!"
The voice echoes to destroy the intimidation of the throne room.
Lord Gilbert, who could be seen in the distance, seemed taken aback.
(… I wish I were so evil that I wanted to kill him anyway.)
(Oh, this is bad...)
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I feel like my vision is blurry.
As I wrinkled my brow and held on, I suddenly felt a breeze behind me.
???: "Lord Gilbert!!!"
(Whoa, what the!?)
A man in military uniform pushes open the door to the throne room and walks in,
Without paying attention to me, he pushes his way to the bottom of the stairs as if he were about to attack Lord Gilbert.
???: "You... you left the castle without saying anything again!"
???: "How much more do you want to shorten my lifespan?! Come on, now, let's test—"
???: ". . . . . ."
(... Oh, our eyes met.)
The man with curly hair stiffens, and so do I.
A strange silence fell.
Gilbert: "Good for you, huh? If you had slipped up just a little bit more, you... today would be the anniversary of your death."
???: "Who is she?"
Gilbert: "The Lady of Rhodolite."
???: "Rhodolite's… Ah! What? She really exists? Lord Gilbert's first—"
Gilbert: "Huh? You must really want to die."
(…?)
The man deliberately clears his throat and turns to me.
The salute-like gesture may be Obsidian's way of saying "hello."
Walter: "You are Emma, right? I've heard rumors about you... I'm Walter. My occupation is—"
Gilbert: "My aide. Servant. A maid. I'm having an audience, will you leave?"
(… I feel like he's deliberately covering his words again just now.)
(How did you know my name in the first place… What's the rumor?)
(I wonder if Obsidian has heard about the story of Rhodolite...)
As soon as the man finished his greeting, he pointed his finger at Lord Gilbert.
It felt like an obvious act of disrespect, but there was no one there to reproach it.
Walter: "I will definitely visit you later. Listen, please don't run away. Even if you do, I will let Roderich catch you."
Gilbert: "Alright, alright. I'll act like an adult when I feel like it."
Walter: "Not when you feel like it... but absolutely!"
Gilbert: "Okay, okay."
After a strong tone of voice and a reminder, the man leaves.
It was like a storm.
Gilbert: "… I've lost interest."
With a resounding sigh, Lord Gilbert stands up from his throne.
The audience is apparently over.
(Me too... I'm not sure I can speak well right now.)
Lord Gilbert descends the stairs with the sound of his cane.
He came right next to me, and I didn't make eye contact with him.
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Gilbert: "Yes. The fact that I am His Majesty the Emperor has only been revealed to a limited number of people."
Gilbert: "You know what I mean… right?"
(He'd like to say he'd kill me if I ever told anyone about it.)
I nodded while looking away, and Lord Gilbert took another breath.
Gilbert: "What can I do to put you in a better mood..."
(... I really don't know.)
(A genius like Prince Chevalier, who can easily manipulate people's minds...)
Gilbert: "A whole day's sleep will do it, right? By the way, I've got your room all ready for you."
Gilbert: "I asked them to make the interior as similar to Rhodolite as possible, but I hope you like it."
(I can't believe he even had a room ready for me.)
This is Obsidian. There is no need to isolate me by daring to be friendly, like in Rhodolite.
Still, Lord Gilbert's poison-like kindness hasn't changed.
I am tormented again by being treated not as a hostage but as a guest of honor.
Emma: "… That's the point…"
Gilbert: "Hm?"
Emma: "Nothing..."
(I hate… this feeling.)
══════════════════
—After taking Emma to her room, he returned to his own room for the first time in a long time and found himself in an unusual silence.
Walter: ". . . . . ."
Gilbert: "How much longer?"
Gilbert laughs as he buttons his shirt.
But Walter, sitting in the chair across from him, said nothing.
Walter: ". . . . . ."
Gilbert: "I'm asking you, so tell me."
Walter: "… You really..."
The chair falls over in the moment of a vigorous standing up.
Walter: "I beg you, please stop. This country goes on without you. That's how you were raised. So..."
Gilbert: "You didn't answer my question."
Walter covers his face with his hands under the pressure of his compelling smile.
His fingertips trembled, and his breath spilled from the gaps.
Walter: "… I don't want to say it."
Gilbert: "I see... it was the right decision to return home a little earlier."
Walter: "Hey… That story you've been telling me for a long time—seriously think about it. Now, I really believe you." **
Gilbert: "It's not a matter of believing or not believing, it's not necessary in the first place."
Walter: "Then why did you bring that woman here!"
Gilbert: "… That's terrible."
Gilbert: "Because I’m a big villain who couldn't be saved."
Walter: "You..."
A blood-colored, cold gaze pierces Walter, as if to interrupt his fury.
A pressure resembling murderous intent dominated the place in an instant.
Gilbert: "Never speak of it. She is no exception."
Walter: "That woman... she doesn't know yet?"
Gilbert: "She doesn't know, and she never will. And I have no intention of telling her."
Gilbert: "I'm going to rest now. Good night."
Walter: ". . . . . ."
Walter: "I'm not giving up."
Grabbing a sturdy-looking bag from the desk, Walter leaves the room.
Gilbert: ". . . . . ."
Gilbert: "… Why…"
Gilbert: "Why wasn't Little Bunny... happy about it?"   //   "I wonder why the little rabbit... wasn't pleased."
══════════════════
Obsidian is synonymous with evil, so much so that it was called the land of deceit and corruption.
When it comes to life in the castle, which is its home base, I imagined it to be brutal.
I was prepared for the fact that I would not be treated well, including being in a vulnerable position…
Gilbert: "Look, Little Bunny. So, how do you like it?"
Emma: "This... is a kitchen."
Gilbert: "Yes, a kitchen. Your very own kitchen."
Emma: "!?"
(Next to the guest room, there is a kitchen! W-What do you mean...)
Far from being treated badly, it is rather too good to pull off.
I had been dragging out yesterday's events until a few minutes ago, but it was such a shock that it blew away, even if only temporarily.
Gilbert: "This is the same as the room, I had them prepared in advance."
Gilbert: "Do you know why I... prepared the kitchen?"
(I see... that means...)
Emma: "You want me to make sweets."
Gilbert: "As expected of Little Bunny. I'm glad you know me so well."
Gilbert: "—… Actually, I just wanted to please you."   //   "—… I really just wanted to make you happy."
Emma: "… What is it now?"
Gilbert: "No, it was nothing."
(I can't believe you liked it enough to prepare a kitchen…)
(I've only served amateur sweets... and they were as simple as cookies.)
Lord Gilbert's smile was so bright that he seemed like a different person from the emperor who sat on the throne yesterday.
Gilbert: "You are free to use any of the ingredients here."
(Let's see... eggs, milk, flour, sugar, fruits, vegetables... that's quite a lot of variety.)
Emma: "I have heard that Obsidian is suffering from food shortages..."
Gilbert: "It's not like that these days, you know?"
Gilbert: "Because we have built supply lines and established stable food production technology in the last 10 years."
(That's right... just like Prince Chevalier said.)
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Chevalier: "—Second, I want to know the degree of development of Obsidian's technology."
Chevalier: "Obsidian's military engineering technology seems to be quite advanced..."
Chevalier: "Those technologies must have been applied to many things related to daily life."
Chevalier: "Aside from the rural areas, the central areas may be even different."
Chevalier: "Go and see for yourself."
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Gilbert: "—Obsidian has a lot of barren areas despite its vast land. But just because it's barren doesn't mean it has land."
Lord Gilbert spun his words without any hesitation. His eyes were somewhat lively.
Gilbert: "If we can build facilities that can grow crops regardless of the soil, it will take a lot of work, but there is no reason why we can't provide food in our own country."
Gilbert: "If we can produce food, we can also produce the fodder necessary for livestock. That's why we don't have food shortages right now."
Gilbert: "By the way, most of the food here comes from the research facility in the castle."
Gilbert: "We can't put those on the market... but we collect things that are a waste to throw away."
Gilbert: "Then it's also sweets that help eliminate the loss of ingredients."
Gilbert: "That's what I mean."
(Though the way you spoke just now was like your own achievement…)
Emma: "… Did Lord Gilbert solve the problem of food shortages?"
Gilbert: "Of course, it's my job. The food supply is an important issue, necessary to guarantee a minimum standard of living."
Gilbert: "Did you think we were always at war?"
Emma: "… I'm sorry."
(As expected, the idea was shallow.)
I had the impression that Obsidian was focusing on military affairs and neglecting domestic affairs, but it seems I was just being shallow.
Gilbert: "Hehe... your image is not wrong either. The Emperor has always had that policy."
Perhaps the "emperor" here was the late former emperor.
Gilbert: "He won a lot of countries, but he didn't look inward at all."
Gilbert: "They were almost lawless, so Albert and I spent a lot of time trying to improve it."
Gilbert: "Well, the regions are still so corrupt that I think I'm only halfway there."
Emma: ". . . . . ."
Gilbert: "More than—"
(Whoa…!)
Suddenly I am hugged on the shoulder, and my body leans back.
I fell into his cold chest with all my might, but he held me.
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Gilbert: "What? Can't you just read the atmosphere and leave us alone?"
(… What the…)
(!?)
When Lord Gilbert calls out to the doorway, a crowd of soldiers appears.
1, 2, 3 — Surrounded by about 10 male and female military personnel, my body stiffened.
(I didn't notice it at all. I guess they were waiting for Lord Gilbert outside.)
Soldier 1: "I am sorry. Lord Gilbert, the military has asked me to consult with you concerning the budget..."
Soldier 2: "I, too, would like to ask Lord Gilbert's advice on lifeline capital investment—"
Gilbert: "You know, I've been telling you for a long time. You don't have to rely on my judgment every time."
(... Eh, even though he's the Emperor?)
Gilbert: "You are professionals in each field whose abilities have been bought."
Gilbert: "I'm giving you full authority because I think you can do it. Or what? Do you doubt my eyes?"
Soldier 1: "No, sir! But I would like to have your opinion, Lord Gilbert, because it would be very helpful..."
Soldier 2: "Please. After all, there is no one better than Lord Gilbert's keen eye!"
Gilbert: "Nope. Everyone, you can see that I'm busy, right?"
Instead of letting me go, he holds me tighter.
The gazes of the soldiers were clearly perplexed and bewildered.
Emma: "Uh… No! No, he isn't! Please give priority to your official duties." **
Gilbert: "Ehh..."
Emma: "In the meantime, I'll make you some sweets, how about that?"
Gilbert: "… I think I'm the one who's sulking."
Emma: "Lord Gilbert…"
Gilbert: "All right, all right. Just for today."
With a deliberate shrug, Lord Gilbert finally moves away from me.
Gilbert: "All of you, make it quick. Each of you has two minutes."
Lord Gilbert walks into the circle of soldiers, and the atmosphere changes.
I could see that the people gathered were tense and straightened their backs.
But that is not a bad thing.
Rather than dominating through fear, they seem to be voluntarily respecting Lord Gilbert out of reverence.
(… It became clear to me when I came to Obsidian).
(Lord Gilbert is an emperor who can act for the people.)
Looking back on our discussion of ideals the other day, it was also about being close to the weak.
While he acts like a big villain in other countries, he appears to be a perfectly good emperor in his own country.
(But there are some things that bother me.)
What the soldiers are talking about is the kind of thing that the nobles and bureaucrats bring to Rhodolite.
However, there are no signs of nobility at all in this castle.
(Even though Obsidian is a country of military and ore, it's unnatural that there are only soldiers—)
══════════════════
Gilbert: "Ah, is that so?"
In the end, soldiers gathered one after another under Lord Gilbert, and even though each person had two minutes, it was nighttime by the time they had all been processed.
Lord Gilbert, who was in a very bad mood because of this, took me back to his room with the baked cookies,
He started a tea party on the bed in a bad manner.
(Actually, I was surprised that Lord Gilbert's room was like a library…)
(I have a lot of questions, like what kind of books are on the bookshelves…)
What I asked before them was about the wonder of the absence of the nobles.
Gilbert: "It's the same as His Majesty the former emperor."
Emma: "The same...?"
Gilbert: "Yeah. I killed them."
I felt dizzy.
Emma: "… Not only the emperor, but also the nobles?"
Gilbert: "Of course, I didn't kill them all, okay? I just wanted to clean up the deceit and corruption, and there are still a lot of nobles out there."
Gilbert: "The people who work in the castle are all highly qualified, chosen from a wide range of people, from commoners to nobles."
Gilbert: "The reason they are all dressed almost entirely in military uniform is to break down the barriers between the nobles and the commoners."
Gilbert: "The castle you are in is still not perfect, but it's better than it was a decade ago."
Emma: ". . . . . ."
(I knew it, but life may be the same as dust for Lord Gilbert.)
(So he lost the value of his own life as well... the more he killed people, the more he lost the importance of his life.) **
No matter what the reason may be, the act of killing is inherently unforgivable.
Perhaps Lord Gilbert knows this, which is why he doesn't cling to his own life.
(… Even though I'm calm.)
My chest feels murky again.
I can't taste the cookie in my mouth.
When I cast my eyes down, cold fingers grabbed my chin as if to say no—
Gilbert: "Hey, I want you to tell me one thing too..."
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thefirstknife · 7 months
Note
I’m a newer player and i’ve been looking through Osiris’ lore more. I remember reading something somewhere saying he’s had visions. can Guardians get visions from the Light, or was that tied to when he was “possessed” by Savathûn?
It wasn't tied to Savathun!
Osiris had "visions" way before that. He claimed that he got them in the Infinite Forest, which is a Vex prediction/simulation engine built inside of Mercury. He received many visions which later got classified as prophecies even though Osiris insisted that they were scientific research he constructed by using the Vex prediction engine. Because they got classified as prophecies, he got a whole cult following fixated around them which led to his exile because the prophecies were causing chaos in the City.
The problem with Osiris' claim about the visions being from the Infinite Forest is that Osiris only entered the Infinite Forest after he was exiled. And he was exiled for the prophecies. So he already wrote his prophecies down before ever entering the Forest.
Furthermore, the Infinite Forest is a Vex prediction engine and the Vex cannot simulate paracausality, aka the Light. Which means that Osiris could not have received the the prophecies involving the Light from the Forest either. This is explicitly also mentioned as a problem here:
There's just one thing: if Osiris used the Infinite Forest to develop his prophecies, and the Infinite Forest cannot accurately simulate Light, how did Osiris predict the Traveler would wake? The Forest's very inability to predict this very thing is what prevented Panoptes from breaking ground with its apocalyptic calculations. I must assume: 1) Either verse 5 does not refer to the Traveler's awakening, or 2) Osiris has prophetic resources at his disposal other than the Forest. What they are I have no idea.
We essentially don't know how he got the visions. To make things more complicated, there's the comic of which the third part is in a physical edition only so you'll have to check out these scans. Sagira asks him this very same question: how did he make the first batch of prophecies? Osiris dodges the question like a pro, then appears to fall into a trance and starts reciting yet another prophecy on the spot, seemingly without being aware of what he's doing while Sagira is trying to get his attention. The prophecy he makes here is just a prediction of what will happen in Warmind and Forsaken. For the record, this one does take place while he's in the Forest, but the way it happens is just super bizarre and Sagira is also very confused by it as well.
Osiris is 100% unique in this way. No other Guardian has ever really experienced anything similar. Even when the Young Wolf received visions from the Traveler in the Red War, it wasn't really a prophecy or anything like that, it was just one vision to tell us where to go. Osiris received hundreds of these, from an unknown source. There's a possibility that they might be from the Light or the Traveler as well and that Osiris just isn't fully aware of that.
We have some of the prophecies in the game: Garden Progeny 1 (very peculiar, seems to be referring to what we previously believed was proof of the Unveiling story, now possibly referring to the idea presented by both Ahsa and Chioma Esi in Veil Logs that the Traveler and the Veil used to be one entity), The Conqueror 2 (start of the Red War), Jack King Queen 3 (the Vanguard leaders fight the war, YW standing out), Machina Dei 4 (Light returns), Traveler's Judgment 5 (Traveler awakens and defeats Ghaul), Sol Pariah 6 (unknown), West of Sunfall 7 (unknown), Infinite Paths 8 (unknown, most likely something about the Vex), Null Calamity 9 (unknown), Future Safe 10 (unknown), Perfect Paradox (Saint's return). Trying to interpret these is incredibly tough as we simply don't know if the plot points they're predicting are still envisioned the same as they were when these were written over 5-6 years ago. Only madness lies from here going forward.
But yeah, a lot of text for me to say that we have no clue. We do know that they're not in any way related to what happened with Savathun though, as Osiris' prophecies predate that by decades or even centuries.
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moghedien · 2 years
Note
Can you do a post about how Greta invited Carson on the date with the dude to chaperone and then Bev added Shirley to keep it “appropriately non-sexual” because she knew that Carson was not a non-sexual entity to Greta.
I’m also confused about Flo. Bev said there was an “attachment to a woman in town” as though if Jo wasn’t with Flo when she was caught then Jo wouldn’t have been traded?
Hmm ok, I have like *thoughts* on these but not entirely certain ones if you know what I mean?
So first with the Carson chaperoning thing, while yeah its funny to joke about Bev knowing they were a thing the entire time and making Shirley go along to chaperone them (I have literally made this exact joke lol), I'm not actually convinced of how accurate that is. I go back and forth on how much Bev is actually aware and that's mostly because Bev is so fucking good and hiding how she actually feels.
So like, the first thing to really remember here is that at the point when Greta goes on that date, she and Carson aren't actually even a thing yet. They had that one kiss in the closet of the bar. They have little gay moments in the second episode but nothing really suspicious to anyone that might be watching. When we get to the point were Bev actually tells Greta about the date, they didn't even have their little stargazing moment during secret practice yet (which Bev wouldn't know about anyway). Still, Bev's reaction when telling Greta about it is kinda interesting. After she says he was "a man with a shirt," she says this next line.
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When she says this, she immediately looks at Carson (who had been making sad faces since the mention of Greta going on a date with some guy) and more or less says that its just for the sake of the team's publicity. Now, yes you can read into this and be like "oh she's telling this to Carson because she wants to reassure her because she knows about her and Greta" but Carson and Greta are not a thing yet. I cannot emphasize that enough. So at the very least, she assuring Carson (and Greta) that this is something just done to help the Peaches' image.
But....why would she reassure Carson? They aren't going to make Carson go on dates. She's married. So you can either read into it that she suspects something is going on, or you can conclude there's some other reason. Like, I don't know, I'd be kinda weirded out if I was on some sports team and my teammates were just being set up on dates they had to go to, regardless of whether or not I was dating said friends. It isn't unreasonable for Bev to just see Carson there and try to make the whole scenario less weird, regardless. But also, she might have picked up on some tension between them.
So when we get to the part where we see Greta about to go on her date and she's just finished getting ready, there's this fun little detail:
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This room? The one that she's hanging out in before the date and acting like she's just finishing up at the dresser? That's Carson's room, not Greta's.
The nightstand has Shirley's humidifiers and is where the dented cans scene happens later on. I also might be obsessed enough to know the layout and door positions of the various rooms, but that' normal and not weird and also while you see Maybelle, Jo, and Shirley on Shirley's bed, you see Carson in the background putting away her clothes in her dresser.
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It's not necessarily super weird for Greta and the other girls to be chilling in Carson's room before the date because 1) it's also Shirley's room and they seem to be hanging out with Shirley, and 2) Greta's room as an attaching door to Carson and Shirley's. But its stilll....something. And Bev doesn't seem all that curious about the fact that she found Greta in there getting ready for her date.
She does however offer an interesting excuse for getting out of the date:
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I've seen this pointed out before, that it seems a bit strange for Bev to be getting a period still. If we assume she's the same age as her actor, then she'd be 60, which would put her well past the typical age of menopause. It isn't technically impossible for a 60 year old to still have a menstrual cycle, but its very unusual and I think its supposed to be. I mean, even the girls look a confused when she says this:
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Regardless of what she has going on, I think this is a lie and I think that Bev at the very least doesn't want to go on the fucking date. I also think that there's a very good possibility that she was trying to give Greta an out here too. Because she says they're going to postpone the date, but more likely than not it'd just end up being canceled all together, or there could be some other reason not to go by then.
So Jo offers to go and Greta tells her no and volunteers Carson instead and there is WEIRD TENSION THERE. Now, I don't think that Bev would necessarily think "Oh they're definitely fucking" at this point, and I repeat myself by pointing out that she and Carson were not even actually together yet. However, there is some clear tension there. Carson doesn't want to go and seems bothered by this whole thing. Greta wants her to go and volunteers her for it and comes up with reasons why she'd be perfect. Carson is still visibly bothered by this and Greta clearly sees that.
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So let's analyze who the fuck Bev is saying what to!
In the first shot when she's telling them to take Shirley, she's looking sort of in the middle of the room. Addressing everyone really, which is how she speaks during most of this scene. When she adds the "safety in numbers" comment, she looks at Carson, who is off to one side of the room by herself. This might be an excuse to either reassure Carson about her discomfort with the situation or to have a reasonable explanation as to why Shirley should go too.
When she says specifically the words "appropriately non-sexual," Bev looks directly at Greta and ever so slightly smirks.
So I don't know for sure here that Bev knows what is going on with them, like specifically. But I am 100% convinced that before Bev walked into this room, she knew Greta was a bit fruity and she at least suspects that she's into Carson. Whether or not she suspects Carson is queer too or knows that they've already started to develop a relationship, I have no idea. At the very least, I think she sees Greta trying to take her little crush along on their publicity stunt, so she makes Shirley go along as a precaution.
Not because I think she suspects that Carson or Greta would like, do anything during the date necessarily, but mostly to be like "look you can bring your crush along if it makes you feel comfortable but don't get too distracted because this is a publicity move after all." Shirley is there to remind Greta that actually this isn't a date, this is just her charming a guy to make the Peaches look good.
Now about the Flo and Jo situation, I think one thing that a lot of people on here fail to really grasp is how much danger Jo is in if she stays in Rockford, regardless of Flo.
When Bev explains what happens, she does so to Carson, alone, and there seems to be some interesting double speak going on here.
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So let's be absolutely clear what Bev is saying. Not only did she bribe the police not to publish Jo's name in the paper, but she also made sure that she charges were dropped and that the league has no idea about any of this. She didn't "save the league from humiliation," she saved Jo from being outright kicked out of the league which is absolutely what would have happened if anyone in charge found out about this. Because her name isn't in the paper and the charges were dropped, they have no way of finding out unless someone tells them and Bev straight up paid off the police not to do that. And she is absolutely risking her own neck here, because she would get sacked so fast if they found out she did this.
And she's just...telling all of this to Carson.
It could be because she's the coach, sure, but she's tried to hide information from Carson before. I definitely think there's more to it than that. I think that is an indication that she knows about Carson at this point. I think she also probably suspects some other things too because, in case you failed to notice this, Carson and Greta are still wearing the exact same clothes they were wearing last night.
Here they are celebrating at home right before they leave for the bar:
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And here they are the next morning when Jo gets brought in by the police:
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I find Bev someone who tends to pick up on things rather well, even if she chooses to ignore them, and I don't think she would overlook the fact that on the same night Jo got arrested during a raid on a gay bar, Carson and Greta are creeping around the house late at night/early in the morning and haven't even changed their clothes to indicate that they slept at all. I also don't think she failed to notice that Lupe and Jess were missing too.
If she wasn't already aware of Carson at this point, I think this would have tipped her off completely, because she is somehow connected to Greta on the same night something seems to have happened to all of the known queer Peaches. I guess Esti is also gone too, but regardless, Bev would have had to known that something was going on at this point, because she had already bribed the police and arranged for Jo to be brought back and traded at this point, and it's apparently pretty early in the morning.
So let's look at the rest of what she tells Carson about Jo now.
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Jo being connected to Flo, would put her at greater risk, yes. If people who knew Flo found out about this and didn't like it, they could come after Jo. But Jo wasn't gonna be safe in Rockford regardless. Because if she did, too many people still knew about her. The police knew and individual cops might target her or the Peaches in the future regardless of them as a whole being paid off. Not to mention anyone those cops might tell. People who saw the raid go down might know. In general, it just wouldn't have been safe for Jo in Rockford, because even if her name wasn't published or she wasn't charged, people still know she was there. Hell, someone who's name DID get published might reveal her. Gays don't have to be good people, especially if someone thought she got away with something because she's a celebrity
So why does Bev bring this up? Because she's warning Carson. She might know that Carson is with Greta specifically or she might just have picked up context clues to realize that Greta and Carson were at the bar too. They might not have been there as a couple though. They could have all just been fellow homos going to find local girls together. Regardless, she's telling Carson to be fucking careful about being attached to people in this town. Because its dangerous and if you get caught, you'll probably have to leave for your own safety. Surely you agree.
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lunalillyhbhb · 1 year
Text
Lea's home
Chapter 1
After college, I head over to my work place, Lea's home. Lea and I have been close friends since college began, and when she found out about my financial situation, she offered a job as a maid at her house. Of course, I accepted. I really needed the money, but that wasn't the only reason.
Stepping off the bus, I walk to her house, get buzzed in, and change into my work uniform, a regular maid outfit, a relatively tight fitting one at that, but no worries.
I get started in the usual routine, working my way from bottom to top, saving the best for the last: Lea's room. It's getting pretty late, but I am in no hurry. As I near her room, I hear a noise coming from within and lightly rap against the door. The sound immediately stops, and Lea open her door, looking tussled and out of breath. Hot. She looks at me worried, and clutches her chest.
"What's wrong? Is everything ok?" I ask, trying my best not to sound even the slightest bit turned on.
She looks around the corridor before pulling me inside her room and locking her door. Slightly panting, she says "My chest hurts, I'm not sure what that means but this isn't the first time this has happened! I don't know what to do, do I go to the doctor? You're a med student, could you take a look?"
Is today my lucky day? The situation I've dreamed about and fantasized forever is finally presenting itself to me, but what if it's too good to be true? Do I put my desires first or do I do my duty as a med student and look at this professionally?
What am I even thinking, duty first.
"Calm down, there's no need to get all flustered, I'll palpate around your chest, tell me if it hurts, ok?"
She nods, looking at me with her eager eyes.
I place my hand on her chest, doing my best to not react to the strong heartbeat I can feel with little effort. My hand rises in pulses, hitting her sternum strongly.
"No pain?" She nods, with her face slowly changing expressions.
"I can't feel your heartbeat properly (I lied), do you mind taking off your shirt-" and before I can finish my sentence, her shirt comes off in one swift motion. Her pretty pink lace bra comes into full view, perspiration slowly dripping off her chest, and I momentarily freeze, entranced by the view. She's breathing with a little more difficulty, but the most noticeable feature is her heart. It's so visible, I can see her breast quiver with every strong beat.
How I wish I could hold that beautiful organ, to feel it pump against my hand.
She looks at me, and clasps my hand, guiding it gently towards her chest, and places it firmly there. I close my eyes, my desires completely taking over my senses, wishing this moment would last forever. Her heart pushes against my hand with everything in its power, and I am completely under its control.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember my "duty" and do my best to coherently put together a sentence. "Your heart feels strong, and I can't feel any thrills or skips. I wish I had my stethoscope to hear more accurately though."
She looks at me, now the worry clearly replaced with amusement and a sense of animalistic desire in her eyes. Without removing my hand from her chest, she bends over and reaches for her drawer, where she pulls out a stethoscope, a beautiful Littman cardiology. I feel her heart skipping, and now I'm beginning to suspect maybe she's enjoying this attention her heart is getting.
She places the steth in my ears and the bell directly on the PMI, where her heartbeat is the loudest and most visible. Finally, I get to hear the beautiful sound of her heart. Ecstasy fills me, and a warm sensation builds at the base of my abdomen, and before I could stop myself, I ask her "are you enjoying this?"
Her eyes travel down to my chest, and with surprise I note that my own heart is beating wildly, being very visible under my maid's uniform.
"I am now" she says, and I realize this was all an act to get me into this situation, and I played right into it. This means, she's wanted me the same way I've wanted her.
Now there's no need to hold back.
I push her against the wall, her heart booming into the steth. She lets out a moan, her legs shaking beneath her.
"Is there any other symptom that's worrying you?" I ask, going along with this role playing.
"Yes doctor, this area has been very hard for a while now" she says, guiding my hand to her nipple. I slowly rub it, admiring the way her eyes light up with arousal.
Her heart now going a strong 160 bpm, dares me to make it go faster, and I oblige.
My fingers slowly trail down, with the look of absolute delight on her face, and reach her vulva. Her heart is now pounding
BU-BUMP BU-BUMP BU-BUMP BU-BUMP
And with every beat, I rub her, syncing it in the rythm of her heart.
She starts moaning loudly, and her legs gave way and spread widely.
"Oh you're so wet, and all this when I didn't even do anything."
She looks at me desperately, and says "Can I feel your heart? Please?"
I nod, and immediately her hands go up my chest, wildly grabbing it, as if trying to cage the absolute beast that threatens to escape its cage.
I immediately slip my fingers through her underwear, feeling the wetness dripping through, and rub faster with more intensity.
Her eyes rolls back, and with a final loud moan, she collapses in my arms, eyes fluttering close.
"How was it?" I ask her. She smiles, and slowly leans on my chest, listening to my heart beat gradually returning to normal. We stay there for a while, till our breaths settle down.
"I'm gonna take a quick shower, I'll seeya tomorrow!" she gives me a quick kiss, and walks away.
It takes a few seconds for me to register what just happened. I can't believe how lucky I am. I guess I'm now her personal maid and heart doctor, the best situation I could ask for.
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Text
first kiss headcanons! (moon knight)
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holy moly would u believe it i am back
this was supposed to be just a kissing headcanon list but i got sidetracked when i started writing and here we are
SLIGHTLY SUGGESTIVE CONTENT FOR MARC AND JAKE but its really small lol
reader is gender neutral!
EDIT: i've managed to read enough oneshots and fanfiction for jake lockley that i feel comfortable writing for him (didn't do it the first time bc i don't know much about him)! i would like to address that i am not 100% aware of what jake's nationality is and have not found any accurate sources that tell me that info so just assume that he is hispanic in general! (my being mexican definitely has a bias on jake lol)
。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾  ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆。゚☁︎。⋆
STEVEN GRANT
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steven was dedicated to making your first kiss PERFECT, he felt like this would make or break your relationship (it most obviously wouldn’t)
the day he decided to do it wasn’t any different to you, though; he was chatty and rambled about anything just as he always did
steven’s heart is beating hard in his chest when he walks you home, his hands clammy with nerves as his fingers stay intertwined with yours
once at the door to your house, he can barely get a word out except a rushed “goodnight” and he’s already chickened out before you grab his hand again, taking both of his hands in yours when he’s facing you before kissing him
you kiss him and he thinks he must have died because this is heaven
you almost pull away when he makes a sound but by the way he leans into the kiss, you know not to stop JUST yet
his first instinct is to grab your waist (i mean that’s what he always sees the guys do in movies) but he’s so distracted with how amazing he feels that his hands are just kind of uselessly hanging in the air
until your hands are in his hair and it’s like you sent an electric current down his spine, his shaky hands cupping your face so that he can confirm that this is actually real (also to stop from his head spinning but holding you doesn’t really fix that)
when you finally pull away, his lips chase yours and you can’t help but laugh a bit when his face goes red from how embarrassed he is that you saw him do that
he wants to say something, but he can’t stop looking at your lips but is also trying to look anywhere but your eyes bc he can’t believe he actually did that
“sorry, that was kind of sudden, huh?” you say with a nervous smile, finally catching steven’s gaze and smiling at the way a smile spreads onto his own lips
speechlessly, he nods before you watch him physically take a deep breath and suddenly, he’s cupping your face again and kissing you with so much passion that you can barely believe you are still kissing the same person
MARC SPECTOR
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oh but your first kiss is definitely not planned
marc is a walking red flag obviously but he also has boobs and i love when men have massive honkers (im sorry) and i think that could pull (almost) anyone
but just bc he can pull doesn’t mean he kisses you the first time he feels like it, he’s careful to wait until you give him permission to do so which hasn’t happened yet
even if he isn’t planning your first kiss, he still keeps his word to himself to make it special (him and steven are the same in that way)
marc comes to visit you one day and catches you cooking to which he immediately he invites himself in
serving the two of you a glass of wine, he watches you move in the kitchen, can’t help but smile when you stir something in a pot with one hand and take a sip of wine with the other
that’s when he decides it: he could kiss you now and remember the feeling on his deathbed
he walks over to you and you don’t immediately suspect what he’s up to, instead teasing him to wait back at the table for his food which will be out soon
then you see the look in his eyes and your smile falters a bit out of curiosity
“marc..?” you say, putting down your spoon and swallowing thickly as he slowly approaches you, making you back up against the counter and your hands holding the edge
you don’t break eye contact with him, your breath hitching when his hands immediately move to hold your waist
his eyes ask you for permission, searching your own for any discomfort or uncertainty; his shoulders relax a bit when you place your hands on his and caress the backs of them
with that, he gently presses his forehead against yours and brushes his nose against yours, his breathing is uneven against your lips and in a blink, he’s kissing you
he’s eager but even still you can sense he’s holding back with the way his grip on your hips increases
without warning, he picks you up to sit you on the counter, hooking one of your legs around his waist; he wastes no time in reaching down to squeeze your thigh
when that gets a noise out of you, marc pulls away, one hand caressing your cheek and the other still on your thigh
his chest rises and falls as he catches his breath, his eyes flitting from your eyes to your lip, “this alright?” he whispers, a smug smile on his lips as you nod wordlessly and with that, he’s kissing you again
JAKE LOCKLEY
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jake is the complete opposite, obviously and he thinks that him being able to kiss you wasn't going to be something that you found incredibly important, it would just be something that the two of you did considering you're in a relationship
but boy was he wrong because the first time he tried it, you immediately put a finger to his lips (and he would have been a little ashamed to say that he actually listened to you when you did that but anything for his partner)
"not just yet, mi amor" you had said with a mischievous smile, reveling in the shock written all over your boyfriend's face
oh so THATS the game you want to play
jake could already tell that two of you were making a competition out of this and he didn't plan to lose, even if it killed him (metaphorically that is)
and oh was it worth it
the way he would get SO close, his breath on your lips and his fingers brushing your jaw that made your hair stand on end in the best way possible
but every single time he would pull away with that signature shit eating smirk of his that would say "i win" before ultimately changing the subject to something as mundane as the weather
but on this particular date night, you had plans to finally end this playful little feud
a dinner date at home lead to an impromptu dance session, music provided by none other than jake (this playlist i made is pretty much the music y'all dance to!)
the night starts out innocent enough, jake is teaching you to dance to some of his favorite songs which have less fancy footwork than you expected but you were having the time of your life nonetheless; then the slower, more R&B music starts
you relish in the feeling of jake holding your waist as you sway to the music, your cheeks flushing at all the sweet nothings your boyfriend is whispering to you
"i love you", "te ves tan bonita/o", "mi amor", "princesa/mi rey", "mi angel"
you don't know when but suddenly it's quiet between you two and the only sound is the soft melody playing in the living room where it was feeling much warmer than before
"it's getting late, huh? think it's about time to end the night?" you say to which jake simply shrugs at, his movements slowing along with your own
slowly, though, you feel that familiar stubble tickle the crook of your neck, feel your boyfriend's lips brush your skin that make you jump; "todo bien, amor?" he asks to which you simply nod (you didn't trust your voice right now)
the two of you go still when he starts to drag his lips up to your jaw before he's doing the usual, pressing you close and kissing everywhere except for where you want need him to
but this is where you draw the line and finish this
without hesitation, your hands move to cup jake's face and you slam your lips onto his before he even has a chance to react, making him jump in a way that fills you with glee
of course, it takes him all of two seconds to kiss you back with all the energy he has because por dios, he's been waiting for this for so long
his hands move to tug on your hair which immediately makes you pull away, panting heavily and meeting jake's eyes who's pupils have dilated so fast that you can't help but giggle a bit
"about time." you say, the smile on your lips growing when he tips his head back with laughter before pressing his forehead against yours. "i would have waited an eternity for that, mi vida."
that immediately makes you duck your head in embarrassment, a shy smile on your face as jake tucks his thumb under your chin and tilts it up to face you again
that's about as long as the tender moment lasts because you immediately see the playful smirk on his face before he expertly tosses you over his shoulder with a celebratory grito
you squeal out a protest, saying his name in between giggles and kicking your feet in a failed attempt to get away as your boyfriend leads you to the bedroom
。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾  ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆。゚☁︎。⋆
MASSIVE THANKS TO @ellieheim FOR REQUESTING A JAKE LOCKLEY HEADCANON LIST!! i had the time of life writing this and loved having the opportunity to finally write for him (and have an excuse to start his playlist lol) !! also, i would like to take this opportunity to promote my ask box! i just recently set it up and would love to see what you all would like me to write! rules are in my pinned post!
but for now, i hope that u all enjoyed this and thanks so much for reading!! <33
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nerves-nebula · 7 months
Note
hi! I’m still alive. By the way.
Leo hat sich gerade so eingekriegt, (und die Überreste des Kleids sicher unter seine Matratze gestopft) wenn jemand an die Tür hämmert. Für einen Moment spielt er mit dem Gedanken das es Vater ist – vielleicht ist Donnie doch spontan ein Rückgrat gewachsen, und er hat es ihm erzählt, flüstert eine dunkle Ecke in seinem Hirn – aber die Schläge sind dafür zu schwer. Wenn er die Tür aufmacht, sieht er direkt in Raph’s grimmigste Miene. 
“Ich weiß nicht was für eine Laus dir über die Leber gelaufen ist,” fängt er an, und Leo versucht nichtmal sein Augenrollen zu unterdrücken, “aber Splinter isst heute mit uns. Genau wie du. Jetzt komm bevor es kalt wird.” 
“Ja, ja. Du musst mich nicht hetzen.” 
Translation:
Leo has just barely calmed down (and tucked the remains of the dress securely under his mattress) when someone starts beating on the door. For a moment, he plays with the thought that it’s father - maybe Donnie did spontaneously grow a spine and told him, a dark corner of his brain whispers - but the knocks are too heavy for that. When he opens the door, he looks directly in Raph’s most pissed-off face.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you” he begins, and Leo doesn’t even try to suppress the eyeroll, “But Splinter is eating with us today. Just like you are. Now come before it gets cold.”
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t need to rush me like that.”
in the original, if i were to translate it very literally, Raph says “i don’t know what lice walked over your liver” which means “I don’t know what’s ruined your mood” and i didn’t really know a good English equivalent for that, (again, translating off the cuff) so that line is a little awkward. German sayings are fun. Leo is also being extra bitchy here. Because she is a normal well-adjusted individual, trust me.
Side note, do you think leo might address splinter using Sie (formal you) instead of just du (informal you, reserved for anyone you’re close with and for children), at least within training? It’s a fun thought to me, even if it might not be totally accurate.
I ended up losing sight of this project for a while, which happens often with things like this. I have not finished a proper fic in wayyy too long now. I think i actually sent the last snippet right around the time i had my finals - including English, which funnily enough included a section where you had to translate stuff so even though i didn’t do any actual studying towards that exam, i still ended up practicing that. The official trick to being good at school: be insane about ninja turtles.
AUGHASDGHSDGHA HIII omg its the fic in german again.. it's RETURNED !!
SOO cute they are having. Family dinner (Evil)
in the original, if i were to translate it very literally, Raph says “i don’t know what lice walked over your liver” which means “I don’t know what’s ruined your mood” and i didn’t really know a good English equivalent for that, (again, translating off the cuff) so that line is a little awkward. German sayings are fun. Leo is also being extra bitchy here. Because she is a normal well-adjusted individual, trust me.
i KNOW there's an idiom that works here but i can't remember it. my first thought is like, "i don't know who shit in your stir fry" which is DEFINITELY NOT a common idiom, but the "who X your X" format is pretty common i think.
I DO think Leo would use a more formal way of addressing Splinter. he often calls him sensei or sir to his face, so if it's like that then yeah that's in character.
The official trick to being good at school: be insane about ninja turtles.
this is so funny cuz it's literally true. do you have any idea how many times I included TMNT in my projects last year? and I'm doing it again rn !!
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tanmono · 1 year
Text
GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN MAIN ROUTE....
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CHAPTER NINETEEN.
translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.
gilbert's title will be changed to lord, starting from this chapter.
trigger warning: rape mention.
minors and ageless blogs dni.
Gilbert: Now, once again.....if you have something to say, I'm all ears, okay, little rabbit?
In front of me is the emperor who rules over the great nation of Obsidian.
A supreme commander who has enough power to overrun other countries with just that one voice.
(….Though, it's just a title with a big name, he’s still the same Lord Gilbert on the inside.)
Looking up at the throne, there is no need to be overly afraid.
Emma: Then, if I may be so bold as to presume.....
Emma: Why does the emperor push the path of invasion to other countries?
The first thing I wanted to ask was the "Emperor", not Lord Gilbert.
Obsidian has always plotted to expand its territory as a matter of policy.
I don't understand the intention of wanting to continue to invade by trampling on other countries' cultures, ideas, and lives.
Gilbert: The ostensible reason is to protect our own people. Obsidian has a lot of barren area despite its vast land.
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Gilbert: There was always a problem of food shortages, and exploitation was necessary to keep the people alive.
Emma:….What's the purpose behind this?
Gilbert: I hate dirty things. // I don't like dirty things.
Gilbert: Deception, corruption and bribery. But the way the continent is structured now, it occurred frequently.
Gilbert: It's not just the Obsidian. You saw traces of corruption in the Rhodolite as well, didn't you?
Emma: Are you talking about the orphanage?
Gilbert: Yes, there was that, but on a grander scale of corruption, like the debauchery of the king, right?
(Debauchery...if he means drowned in women, I guess that fits.)
Gilbert: In order to heal the wounds of his broken heart, he wielded his power by laying hands on many women.
Gilbert:......Do you know the story of Luke's mother?
Emma: No….
Gilbert: His mother was just a maid in the service of the court.
Gilbert: But the king forced himself on her because she looked like the woman he loved.
(…..!)
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Gilbert: Heartbroken, she left the court to give birth and raise Luke in secret.
Gilbert: Do you think the king was punished for this? Yes, of course. There was no blame.
Gilbert: He is the most powerful person in Rhodolite..... // He is the supreme authority in Rhodolite.....
Gilbert: Because of that, he had the right to do as he pleased with those below him.
(If the story is true...I can't say anything about the king of my own country.)
(No matter how wise the king he was, this is unforgivable.)
Gilbert: Do you think this story is surprising?
Emma:.....At least, it's not something that happens often.
Gilbert: That’s what it is.
Emma: On what basis....
Gilbert: The result of statistics on the internal affairs of the countries that has been ruled.
(….It's not an emotional story, rather it's a grounded story.)
Gilbert: It's not uncommon to find a royal family with a prodigal habit, and in worse cases, there are countries that enslaved the people.
Gilbert: This great rise is based on authoritarianism. A world ruled by royalty and nobility.
Gilbert: It ingrained in my bones that lowly people should not defy those in power.
Gilbert: Look, You know what I mean, right? Remember when you were chosen as belle?
Gilbert: The report is that...you did not hesitate to slap a man who had been disrespectful to Chevalier.
Gilbert: That's because you quickly decided that you misbehaved with a powerful person, which you would've easily killed.
Gilbert: He was actually pointed at you with a sword, making sure his judgment was correct.
Gilbert: It's funny if you think about it for a minute. How can one be guilty of disrespect?
(I had never thought about it before.)
For me, I have always had the perception that royalty is someone to be respected.
Even when he was disrespectful and pointed his sword at me, I tried to convince him that he was a royalty.
Gilbert: There is no inherent superiority or inferiority between us. As long as we are humans, we should all be the same.
Gilbert: Of course, it may be necessary to have someone who leads socially.
Gilbert: An outstanding person bringing the world together to build a better tomorrow. That's how it should be.
Gilbert: But you see, the current king has a structure in which those with power get involved and act as they please.
Gilbert: Of course, not all of them, right?
The princes of Rhodolite are very different.
Gilbert: Even Silvio and Keith would make good rulers.
Emma: If that’s the case—
Gilbert: The King of Rhodolite was also a reputable ruler in the past.
Emma:…….
Gilbert: People are changeable creatures. There is no such thing as an "absolute".
Gilbert: That's why authoritarianism shouldn't exist in the first place.
Gilbert: There were only a handful of wise kings if you look at the history.
(In other words, Lord Gilbert….)
Gilbert: Because there’s one ruler that knows a lot about deception and corruption...
Gilbert: My "ideal" is to trample upon all the royal families that have spread across the continent, and to free the people from the rule of power.
What I felt from Lord Gilbert was a strong will that resembled a solid wall.
No one can change him nor stop him. I suspect it's something like that.
(A revolution involving not only your own country, but the entire continent...)
(I know this should be a fantasy dream for most people, but not for Lord Gilbert.)
(But, it’s strange.)
Emma:..I feel conflicted about this.
Emma: Lord Gilbert is like a symbol of that power, isn't he?
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The way he sits on his throne and looks down at me is exactly the kind of "authority figure" that Lord Gilbert hates.
(Even though he once threatened me with that power...)
Emma: Are you an exception?
Gilbert: Ahaha! No way.
Gilbert: If the powers disappear and a new era comes, I will be the first to become unnecessary.
Gilbert: Then maybe I’ll die?
Emma:…..Uh.
(What…..are you saying.….)
His usual fresh smile shines from his throne.
I couldn't believe my ears, wondering if I had heard wrong.
Gilbert: Because it's obvious of course. I want to wipe out the powers, and it's strange for me to survive.
Gilbert: The Obsidian royal family, in particular, is one of the most evil bloodlines on the continent.
Gilbert: It would be better if the world were destroyed...but if I'm going to die, I'd rather be killed by little rabbit.
Gilbert: That way you'll remember me for the rest of your life, right?
Emma: That's... of course I'm going to refuse!
I shouted without holding back.
Even if it's a joke, it's a bad one.
(Lord Gilbert's ideals are based on the assumption that he will die at the end.)
(Like he thinks nothing of it.)
It would have been better if he still acted like a villain and said, "I'm an exception."
Emma:….Why are you going so far to get rid of those with powers?
Emma: I'm sure Lord Gilbert would have benefited from the power...even to the point of killing himself….
Gilbert: That’s…..
Gilbert: A secret.
(…So it is a secret.)
Gilbert: But I don't think it's a bad deal for you.
Gilbert: Rather, it would be more convenient for you if I died.
(….!)
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Gilbert: If only I were gone, Rhodolite wouldn't be trampled, and the world might continue on like this.
Gilbert: Besides, when I die, you'll be released.
Gilbert: You can settle in Obsidian or return to Rhodolite as you wish.
Gilbert: There will be no power to hold you down.
(What is that….)
The front of my eyes turns pure white, and the back of my head burns hot.
Emma:…..Are you serious?
My voice, which spilled out unexpectedly, was lower than usual.
Gilbert: Of course—
Gilbert:...What's wrong?
(What’s wrong…with me?) // (There’s nothing…wrong with me.)
I looked down as my fists trembled.
(No matter how big a villain he is, I never wanted him to die. I wouldn’t even dare to think about it.)
(Lord Gilbert….was not the kind of person who could think of such a thing.)
He may come to think that he is the great irredeemable villain, but—
I am already poisoned by malicious kindness.
And that kindness itself should not have been a lie. // And that kindness itself could not have been false.
It was precisely because I had been exposed to Lord Gilbert's good intentions so many times that I suffered when I was at Rhodolite.
What he just said was an outright denial of that suffering and struggle.
(After acting like he was such a good friend to me...)
(When the time comes, if he wants to be dead, he wants me to kill him?)
(….Don’t be silly.)
I have no right to say anything about Lord Gilbert's ideals.
But I have the right to be upset with those particular words.
Gilbert: I don't get it. I don't see where there was anything to be upset about now….
Emma: Because you don't understand that, you’re telling me my friendship with Lord Gilbert wasn't real!
Emma: If you thought you were the kind of person who would be happy to die, there is something out of your mind!
The voice echoes to destroy the intimidation of the throne room.
In the distance, Lord Gilbert seemed taken aback.
(.......I wish I was evil enough to want to kill him anyway.)
(Ah, this is bad...)
I feel like my vision went blurry.
As I wrinkled my brow and held on, I suddenly felt a breeze behind me.
???: Lord Gilbert!!!
(What the!?)
A man in military uniform pushed the door open to the throne room and walked in.
Without paying attention to me, he went his way to the bottom of the stairs as if he was about to attack Lord Gilbert.
???: You...you left the castle again without saying a word!
???: How much more do you want to shorten your lifespan! Come on, let me check—
???:……
(….Ah, our eyes met.)
The curly-haired man stiffened, and so did I.
A strange silence fell.
Gilbert: Good for you, huh? If you let your mouth slip a little more, today will be the anniversary of your death.
???: Who is she?
Gilbert: The Lady of Rhodolite.
???: Rhodolite is...ah! Wait, does it really exist? Lord Gilbert first—
Gilbert: Hmmm? You want to die that badly?
(…..?)
The man clears his throat deliberately and turns to me.
The salute-like gesture may be Obsidian's way of greetings.
Walter: Emma, correct? I’ve heard rumors about you….I’m Walter. My occupation is—
Gilbert: My entourage, servant, and maid. I'm having an audience, so can you get out?
(......I feel like he’s been deliberately covering his words again right now.)
(How did he know my name in the first place? ….And what rumors?)
(I wonder if Obsidian has…heard the story of Rhodolite.)
As soon as the man finishes his greeting, he points a finger at Lord Gilbert.
It seemed like an obvious act of disrespect, but there was no reproach.
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Walter: I'll come later. Listen, please don't run away. Even if you do, I'll let Roderich catch you.
Gilbert: I got it, I got it. I'll act like an adult if I feel like it.
Walter: It's definitely……not if you feel like it!
Gilbert: Yes, yes.
With a strong tone, the man left.
It was like a storm.
Gilbert:.....Well, that just dampened the fun.
With a resounding sigh, Lord Gilbert stands up from his throne.
The audience seems to be over.
(I'm also...not sure I can speak well right now.)
Lord Gilbert descends from the stairs with the sound of his cane.
Even when he came back to my side, I couldn't make eye contact.
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Gilbert: Yes. I've only told a few people that I'm the emperor.
Gilbert: You know what I mean….right?
(You’re going to kill me if I say anything.)
I nodded while looking away, and Lord Gilbert took another breath.
Gilbert: I wonder how to make you feel better….
(…..I really don't understand.)
Gilbert: Can you manage if you sleep for a day? By the way, your room has been prepared.
Gilbert: I asked them to make sure the interior is similar to Rhodolite’s, but I hope you like it.
(I can't believe he even has the room prepared for me.)
This is Obsidian. He doesn’t have to isolate me by feeling so close to Rhodolite.
Still, Lord’s Gilbert's poisonous kindness remains the same.
It also pains me to be treated as a guest of honor and not a hostage.
Emma:….That’s the point…..
Gilbert: Hm?
Emma: No….
(I….hate this feeling.)
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After dropping Emma off to her room, he returned to his room for the first time in a while to find an unusual silence.
Walter:……
Gilbert: How much longer?
Gilbert laughs as he buttons up his shirt.
But Walter, sitting on the chair across from him, said nothing.
Walter:…….
Gilbert: I'm asking you, so tell me.
Walter:…..Are you really…..
The chair falls over in the spur of the moment as he stands up.
Walter: I beg you, please stop. This country will run without you. That's how we were raised. So..
Gilbert: That doesn't answer my question.
Under the pressure of an absentminded smile, Walter covers his face with his hand.
His fingertips trembled, and his breath shook from the cracks.
Walter:…I don't want to say it.
Gilbert: I see...I was right to return home a little early.
Walter: Hey...seriously, think about that story I've been telling you for a long time. Believe me.
Gilbert: It's not a matter of believing or not believing, it's not necessary in the first place.
Walter: Then what did you bring that woman in for!
Gilbert:….How terrible.
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Gilbert: Because I’m a big villain who cannot be saved.
Walter: You…..
A blood-colored, cold gaze pierces Walter, as if to interrupt his fury.
The pressure, which resembled a deadly force, quickly took over the place.
Gilbert: Never speak of it. She is no exception.
Walter: That woman…doesn’t know yet?
Gilbert: I don't intend to tell her at all.
Gilbert: I'm going to rest now. Good night.
Walter:……..
Walter:....I will not give up.
Walter grabs the sturdy-looking bag that was placed on the desk and leaves the room.
Gilbert:…….
Gilbert:….Why…..
Gilbert: I wonder why the little rabbit wasn't so happy/pleased...
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Obsidian is synonymous with evil, so much that it has been called a land of deception and corruption.
When it comes to life in the castle, which is the home base, I imagined something brutal.
I was prepared for the fact that I would not be treated well, including being in a vulnerable position, but….
Gilbert: Look, look, little rabbit. How do you like it?
Emma: This is...the kitchen, right?
Gilbert: Yes, a kitchen. Your very own kitchen.
Emma: !?
(Next to the guest room is the kitchen!? Wh-what do you mean...)
Far from being treated badly, I was taken aback to be treated as an opposite, which is too good to be true.
I was dragging on the events of yesterday until just now.
Gilbert: This was the same as the room, I had them prepare it in advance.
Gilbert: Do you know….why I prepared the kitchen?
(I see... that means...)
Emma: You want me to make sweets.
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Gilbert: As expected, little rabbit. I’m glad you understand me well.
Gilbert:.........I was really just trying to please you.
Emma:….What?
Gilbert: No, it's nothing.
(I didn't know you liked it enough to prepare a kitchen…)
(I’m an amateur…even though I've only served simple things like cookies.)
Lord Gilbert's smile was so bright that he seemed a different person from the emperor who sat on the throne yesterday.
Gilbert: You are free to use any of the ingredients here.
(Um…Eggs, milk, flour, sugar, fruits, vegetables....that’s quite a lot of variety.)
Emma: I've heard that Obsidian is suffering from food shortages...
Gilbert: It's not like that these days, is it?
Gilbert: Because we have built a supply line and established a stable food production technology in the past 10 years.
(That's right.......Just as Prince Chevalier said.)
━━FLASHBACK━━
Chevalier: Second, I would like to know how much Obsidian's technology has developed.
Chevalier: Obsidian's military engineering technology seems to be quite advanced, but…
Chevalier: I'm sure a lot of those technologies are being applied to other aspects of life.
Chevalier: Rural areas aside, the quality of life in the center may even be different.
Chevalier: Go and see with your own eyes.
━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━
Gilbert: Obsidian has a lot of barren areas despite its vast land.
Lord Gilbert spun his words without hesitation. His eyes were somewhat lively.
Gilbert: If we build a facility that can grow crops regardless of soil, it will take time and effort, but we can't provide food in our own country.
Gilbert: If we can produce food, we can also make the feed necessary for livestocks. So it's not like we're in a food shortage right now.
Gilbert: By the way, most of the food here comes from the castle's research facility.
Gilbert: Those can’t be marketed......but we’re gathering things that are a waste to throw away. // We're scavenging for things that can't be marketed….but are too good to throw away.
Emma: Then, sweets are also the part to eliminate the loss of ingredients.
Gilbert: That's what I mean.
(The way you speak now, like it's your own achievement…)
Emma:…Did Lord Gilbert solve the problem of food shortage?
Gilbert: Of course, it's my job. The supply of food is an important issue, it’s necessary to ensure a minimum standard of living.
Gilbert: Did you think all I did was fight at wars?
Emma:….I’m sorry.
(As expected, the idea was shallow.)
I had the impression that Obsidian was focusing on military affairs and neglecting domestic affairs.
That was just me being shallow, apparently.
Gilbert: Hehe...your image is not wrong either. The Emperor has always had that policy.
Perhaps the "emperor" here was the late former emperor.
Gilbert: He never looked inward, even though he won a lot of countries.
Gilbert: There was almost a lawless area, so Albert and I took the time to maintain it.
Gilbert: Well, the regions are still so corrupted that I feel like I'm only halfway there.
Emma:……
Gilbert: But…..
(Wah….!)
Suddenly he grabbed me by the shoulder and leaned over.
I fell into his cold chest, but he held me.
Gilbert: What? Can’t you read the atmosphere and leave?
(….What…..)
(!?)
When Lord Gilbert calls out to the doorway, the soldiers appear.
Surrounded by one, two, three - maybe ten - soldiers of various genders, my body became tense.
(I didn't notice at all. I wonder if they were waiting for Lord Gilbert outside all the time.)
Soldier 1: I am sorry. Lord Gilbert, the military has asked me to consult with you regarding the budget...
Soldier 2: I also have something I would like to ask Lord Gilbert for advice on lifeline capital investment—
Gilbert: You know, I've said it before. You don't have to rely on my judgment.
(.....What, even though he's an emperor?)
Gilbert: You are professionals in each field whose abilities have been bought.
Gilbert: Since I'm sure you can do it, I gave you full authority. Or what? Do you doubt my eyes?
Soldier 1: You’re wrong! However, Lord Gilbert's opinion is very helpful, so I would like to receive it...
Soldier 2: Please. After all, there is nothing that surpasses Lord Gilbert's sharp eyes!
Gilbert: No. Everyone, you can see that I'm busy, right?
Instead of leaving, he embraced me tighter.
The gazes of the soldiers were clearly perplexed and bewildered.
Emma:….No! Please put your official duties first.
Gilbert: Ehhh….
Emma: In the meantime, I'll make some pastries/sweets, how about that?
Gilbert:...I think I'm the one who's sulking here.
Emma: Lord Gilbert…..
Gilbert: All right, all right. Just for today.
With a deliberate shrug, Lord Gilbert finally moves away from me.
Gilbert: All of you, make it quick. Each of you has two minutes.
Lord Gilbert, who walked into the circle of soldiers, changed the atmosphere.
I could see that the people who gathered were nervous and straightened up.
But that is not a bad thing.
Rather than being ruled out of fear, it seems that they voluntarily respect Lord Gilbert out of admiration.
(....I came to Obsidian and it was clear to me.)
(Lord Gilbert is an emperor who can act for his people.)
Thinking back on the ideals we talked about the other day, about being close to the weak.
While he acts like a big villain in other countries, he appears to be a good emperor in his own country.
(However, there are things that bother me.)
What the soldiers are talking about is the kind of nobles and bureaucrats would bring to Rhodolite.
However, there is no sign of nobility at all in this castle.
(No matter how much Obsidian is the country of military and ore, it's unnatural that there are only soldiers—)
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Gilbert: Ah, is that so?
In the end, one soldier after another gathered under Lord Gilbert.
Even if it was two minutes of time per person, it was nighttime by the time all the work was done.
Lord Gilbert, who was extremely agitated by this, took me back to his room with the baked cookies.
He started the tea party in bad manners on the bed.
(Actually, I was surprised that Lord Gilbert's room looked like a library...)
(I have a lot of questions about what kind of books are on the shelves….)
The first question I asked was the wonder that there were no nobles.
Gilbert: It's the same as the former emperor.
Emma: Same…?
Gilbert: Yeah, I killed them.
I felt dizzy.
Emma:...Not only the emperor, but also the nobles?
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Gilbert: Of course, I didn't kill them all, okay? I just wanted to clean up the lay and corruption, and there are still many nobles out there.
Gilbert: However, those working in the castle are only talented people selected from a wide range of people, from commoners to nobles.
Gilbert: Almost everyone wears military uniforms in order to eliminate the barrier between nobles and commoners.
Gilbert: I can't say that this castle you are in is perfect even now, but it's nicer than it was a long time ago.
Emma:…….
(I knew it, but life might be the same as dust for Lord Gilbert.)
(So he lost the weight of his life….to the point where he killed people who were less valuable.)
No matter what the reason may be, the act of killing is inherently unforgivable.
Perhaps Lord Gilbert knows this, which is why he is not attached to his own life.
(…..Even though I was calm.)
My heart is pounding again.
I can't taste the cookie in my mouth.
When I lowered my eyes, my chin was scooped by his cold fingers.
Gilbert: Hey, I want you to tell me one thing too…..
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