#but even as i’m typing this a big part of me still disagrees
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guys i’m… reading books?? very occasionally over the last decade, i’ve found something interesting enough to read, but this isn’t like that. i just want to read the way i used to when i was young, so i’m just grabbing books off my shelves and reading them. i read the hunger games last night, then today i read a small book of short stories by kris straub and part of a book of hp lovecraft’s short stories that i’ve never even opened. i’m 29 and i’m reading like i’m 16 again. it’s fully crazy
#y’all i’m autistic and adhd with ptsd#i’m a gifted kid burnout and all i read is fanfic#(which is not at all a bad thing but it’s different y’know?)#my therapist thinks it’s because i’ve been focusing on myself and my needs#which i haven’t done in… ever. i’ve never done this.#but suddenly it’s like maybe i don’t need everyone me to be perfectly happy for me to be happy#like maybe it’s time for me to step back from the big brother/substitute father figure and let my siblings handle their own lives#it’s not like i can tell them what to do i’m just stressed constantly worrying about them#like they’re adults#but even as i’m typing this a big part of me still disagrees#so it’s definitely gonna take more time but this is a good sign
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simce u asked for blurbs i have some ideas xxxx
leah x reader where reader gets her tongue or belly button pierced without telling leah
leah x reader where leah gets jealous of reader for having to do a media day vid with a touchy male player
awfc x reader where reader and kyra are just pranksters (cuz i loved sticker charts sm 🥹🥹🥹)
DONT FEEL PRESSURE TO DO THESE BTW! but if this helps then perfect 🥰🥰🥰
tongue twister | lw6 x reader blurb
it’s short, it’s sweet, it’s the only thing getting me out of my writers block lol
warnings: minor sexual implications and maybe some minor swearing
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It’s fairly normal routine for Leah to beeline straight towards you after any trip that includes her leaving for longer than 24 hours. Hell, the girl always seeks you out even after she’s gotten home after a two gotten home after a two hour training session but she’s always especially clingy after being on international camp.
It’s worsened significantly since her return from her acl injury, considering that for months she hardly had to leave your side.
So it’s no surprise that before Leah even takes her shoes off she’s rushing into your kitchen, her luggage bag long forgotten at the front door as she tumbled through the entrance hallway and into the kitchen.
You were seated at the island bench, typing away lazily at a work document to pass time.
Your eyes perked up as soon as the blonde entered the room, a big smile settling along your features at the sight of your rugged up Leah. It still gave you the chills that the woman standing in front of you, leah williamson, was all yours. She told you every single day that she was the lucky one in the relationship, but you couldn’t have disagreed more, leah was perfect, in every single way.
“Hiya love.”
Leah stays standing in the doorway, her eyes trained to you, a big smile splashed across her face.
“Hello Le.”
The woman closed the distance between the two of you, her tongue between her teeth as she approached.
“Missed you.”
It’s a statement, not meant for you to reply just a hanging reminder that these weeks that you spend apart are just as hard for you as it is her.
So you nod, flash her another smile before letting your eyes fall back to the bright screen in front of you.
Leah sits down on the seat beside you, her eyebrows furrowed.
“Honey.”
Her voice is slightly whiny, the voice Leah uses when she wants something that apparently should be obvious but you aren’t giving it to her for whatever reason.
“Yes, Leah?”
You look up from your screen briefly, taking in Leah’s needy face, her lips puckered directly towards you.
“Where’s my welcome home kiss?”
It was customary that whenever Leah came home you gave her a kiss, but this particular time you were a little bit tentative… for other reasons.
“Someone’s a bit needy.”
Leah reached over and pressed your laptop closed, removing the potential distraction.
“I always get a welcome home kiss… I’m waiting.”
You roll your eyes, it’s typical for Leah’s first priority to be a fucking kiss, it’s something that you’ve come to love, no matter what’s happening in either of your lives when she gets home, you always connect like this together.
“How was my day? Thanks for asking, it was great, went for a run, cooked up some food for you to meal plan this week, watched some shows, got a jumpstart on the gym plans for the team this week and hammered out a roster.”
Leah’s gives you a massive eye roll, her hand extending to the back of your neck, looking deep into your soul as her face hovers a couple of centimetres away from you.
“Baby, you know i love you, give me a kiss, please.”
It wasn’t like Leah to be so needy, you blamed it on the fact that you’d been ‘sick’ in her absence, which had her feeling especially guilty for leaving you.
“Why don’t you give me one?”
The challenge is enough to strike up Leah’s competitive nature, something you frequently take advantage of in all parts of your relationship.
Leah leant forward without any hesitation, her lips capturing yours and immediately melting against your skin. This was the part you were anxious about, but regardless you let her take dominance of the kiss, her bottom lip molding against your top one as she slowly synchronised the movement.
It didn’t take very long at all for Leah to get greedy, her tongue finding the notch between your bottom lip and top, gently prodding for an opening, something you awarded her with ease.
Leah tasted like peppermint gum and black coffee, a flavour that melted in your mouth. You were counting down the seconds, as Leah explored your mouth, curious as to how long it would take for her to notice.
4 seconds, 4 seconds of her tongue reaquanting itself with the roof of your mouth and then twisting and tangling itself with your own to discover what you knew she was bound to.
It felt like she was digging for treasure that you’d hidden.
The gasp that she breathed into you almost immediately was capturing a short little exhale of hot air directly into your mouth. Leah prodded at it twice more, checking, making sure before she disconnected herself from you, her eyebrows perched high on her forehead as she blinked a few times in surprise.
“Open your mouth.”
If you were in a more playful mood you probably would have said some kind of obscene joke, but you simply weren’t in the mood to mess around with Leah, especially with that glint in her eyes that was telling you so much and yet so little about how she was feeling.
So without much arguement at all, you opened your mind up wide, allowing Leah to examine her previously discovered treasure.
Leah took her time having a look, even daring to tilt your head back to get a better angle on your new bling.
Once she was finally done she let go of your chin, releasing you and taking a step back, so you could look at her fully.
“I’m assuming it wasn’t tonsillitis that you had then?”
You chuckled lightly, it was a good cover up if you did say so yourself, something completely believable and so simple.
“Do you not like it?”
Leah’s eyes almost bursted out of her skull, her head shaking profusely at you.
“God baby, no, I am so ready for you to show me all the ways that little thing can do, maybe i’ll get me nips done next time for some more fun.”
Leah gave you a flashy wink, a movement that had her rewarded with a big eye roll from you.
“She’s fully healed, how about we go test it out?”
Leah smirked massively, reaching for your hips and lifting you up in to her arms.
“I like your thinking.”
#woso#woso community#leah williamson#marry me rn#leah williamson x reader#golden retriever leah vibes#leah williamson is boyf#leah williamson is mother#leah williamson is mom#i love leah williamson#leah williamson imagine#woso imagine
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⊙ THE SPOT BF HC’s ⊙
➟ The Spot / Jonathan Ohnn X GN!Reader 🕳️
➟ NSFW / SFW ( he has such raw sex appeal )
➟ TW : Insecurities, Workplace Abuse, Body Image, SEX, & Murder :)
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⊙ PRE-COLLIDER
— Jonathan is PAINFULLY average.
— Sure his colleagues like him and he has a good standing with his superiors, But he just doesn’t have a lot going for him.
— Which is why he wonders why an angel like you loves him so much.
— He enjoys the domesticity of y’all’s relationship when he isn’t stuck at the lab or doing scientific research. Like make the man a nice home cooked meal and take a shower with him, it makes him happy beyond belief.
— He has quips. Jonathan just loves making you laugh and he’s actually pretty good at laughing at himself whenever he does something stupid. He knows you won’t judge him.
— Kind of obsessed? Besides work, you are all he thinks about and focuses on. He has plans for the future of your relationship ( MARRIAGE ).
— He’s the type of person to keep a picture of you on his desk.
— Adding onto the obsessed part, he can be possessive. I feel like that’s a given with him.
— Jonathan is insecure. He knows that there are a lot of more attractive, cooler people out there and he worries that he’ll fuck up one day and you’ll leave him. Please comfort him.
— Arguments are few and far between. He’s good at resolving whatever issues that may come up with good ol’ communication.
— He keeps you as far away from his work life as possible. He NEVER EVER wants you to get caught up in the messes that are his projects and he knows just how dangerous working with physics is. Plus Wilson Fisk might use you as leverage to get Jonathan to do what he wants.
— sex time boys :)
— You wanna have sex .. WITH HIM!? That’s kind of his instant reaction though he isn’t opposed.
— I don’t think he’s a virgin, But he’s not the most experienced. He might’ve had a few partners in college though that’s about it. I’m sure he had a few admirers at Alchemax though he was far too busy with working to care plus he had you.
— I don’t think he has a preference for who is dominant and submissive. If you want to edge him until he cries that’s cool! But he’s also chill with taking the lead and fucking you into submission.
— This man is PACKIN’. You can disagree with me all you want, But it’s always the dorky ones that have the most dick. He probably thought that he wasn’t big since he’s since all of these videos talking about how “ 6 inches isn’t big enough yadi yada “. So he was incredibly nervous taking his pants off the first time and he just sorta held his breath, waiting for a reaction of disappointment. He ended up being pleasantly surprised in the end of and was more than happy to shove his dick down your throat.
— His dick is skinnier than it is thick. Poor dude has an INCREDIBLY sensitive head and a prominent vein running up the underside of his shaft.
— Prefers positions where he can see your face. He thinks eyes are the windows to the soul and being able to focus on your expressions makes sex 100X more enjoyable.
— SIT ON THIS MANS FACE. Force him to take all of you inside his mouth and then ride his nose until you’re seeing stars.
— Jonathan let’s out the pathetic noises. He’ll whine, whimper, moan, etc.
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⊙ POST-COLLIDER
— honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’
— He becomes almost 1,000X more clingy and loving.
— He’s absolutely horrified at what happened to him and feels like he’s a burden to you now. He can’t even kiss you for god’s sake!
— Spot will get steal gifts for you in an effort to make up for having to date an idiot like him. He’s much more withdrawn and silent though he’s still prone to using humor as a coping skill.
— Once he realizes that you aren’t going to leave him is probably when he resorts to crime. He would never leave you as the main breadwinner no matter how much you can provide for y’all and will do whatever he can to make sure you are well cared for.
— He’ll never allow you to go out with him when he’s committing crimes. If you were to get hurt or worse ( ahem die ) he would probably never forgive himself.
— You are now his world and he must protect his world at all cost.
— He’s become even more obsessed with your face now that he doesn’t have a proper one. Kissing is a little awkward, But he still appreciates that you’re willing to be affectionate with him.
— You can be curious about his spots, But don’t expect him to let you go through one. It’s already difficult enough for him to control them and he doesn’t want to send you to a whole other universe.
— He has become much more confident as The Spot. He’ll make big risky choices and no longer wants to be a doormat. Arguments are still uncommon though he isn’t afraid to defend the crimes he commits because at the end of the day it’s all for you.
— Being a interdimensional criminal isn’t the most ideal job, But it all comes back to his love for you and don’t ever forget that.
— Has told you to “ Come check out his hole “ a couple of times whenever he figures out his powers, he is definitely aware of how dirty he makes it sound.
— time to get down and dirty in Jonathan’s holes :)
— For starters, he didn’t LOSE his dick it’s just kind of chilling in a void pocket. Go read Spotless on AO3, The Spot actually has a dick in that fic in a way that makes sense.
— He’s grateful you still want to be intimate with him. He can be a little awkward sometimes though he makes up for it.
— Becoming a supervillain has made this man an absolutely menace in bed. He’ll overstimulate and edge you to make sure you remember he isn’t just some lowlife scientist anymore.
— Jonathan’s rougher and manhandles you, forcing you into whatever position he wants.
— It’s a little silly if you imagine it with his regular voice ngl, BUT THE MEAN VOICE? oh my god.
— Repeats phrases like “ mine “ whenever he fucks you and let’s out this raspy little laugh whenever you tell him it’s too much.
— It’s a little pointless for you to pleasure him now so he solely focuses on you. Plus it’s a way for him to blow off steam after a fight with Miles.
— Could you have sex with one of his holes? Does he even feel pleasure anymore? I have many questions that I will ignore for the sake of fanfiction.
— Imagine getting choked by this dude?
— This motherfucker definitely still whimpers though as The Spot and you can’t tell me otherwise.
#jonathan ohnn x reader#the spot x reader#across the spiderverse#spiderman atsv#nsft concept#he’s so babygirl#I would like to explore one of The Spot’s holes#Jonathan Ohnn#The Spot#headcanons#across the spiderverse X reader
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steddie x afab!reader with a newborn headcanons
summary: steve and eddie’s baby girl is born and they won’t let her out of their sight
warnings: mentions of pregnancy and labor/birth, their daughter is named sophia (sophie) because that’s what me and my gf want to name our future daughter if we have one so i’m sorry if that’s your name, mentions of smut
part one | part three
wanna support me? buy me a ko-fi
you live in hawkins in the 80s, so poly relationships are pretty uncommon and frowned upon. to make things easier usually only one of them goes to your appointments with you
before you found out the baby’s gender, everyone started making bets (it started by steve saying he knew it was a girl because of something he read in a parenting book about the way you were carrying)
(yes, steve buys parenting books. although a lot of the time he disagrees with what the books say to do so,, what’s the point of buying them?)
it was eddie’s turn to go to your appointment with you and he got so excited when he found out you were having a girl !!!
“i’m gonna be a girl dad!”
he’s so happy about it that you let him tell steve, and that conversation is actually the cutest thing ever, seeing them both smiling so widely and eddie bouncing up and down as he shares the news :((
surprisingly, labor was fairly easy for you and luckily there were no complications
(cue your two overprotective boyfriends panicking, while you have to be the calm one even though you’re the one in labor)
ten hours later and your little girl was born <33
it was obvious that she was eddie’s biologically because she was born with a full head of dark curls and his features mixed with yours, but steve didn’t care
she was still just as much his daughter as yours and eddie’s
everyone comes to the hospital to meet baby sophia munson <333
only dustin actually gets to hold her since mike and lucas and robin are all freaked out at the idea of holding a baby
steve already has pretty bad insomnia, so he’s always awake when sophie wakes up crying
she loves eddie playing guitar and singing for her, and you joke that she remembers it from during your pregnancy
eddie brings home this baby onesie
that starts his obsession with finding metal clothes for her. he gets her a leather jacket to match with him, cute little clothes with skull patterns, and even makes her a mini hellfire shirt
waking up in the morning surprised that you woke up naturally and not from sophie crying, and walking into her room to see steve talking to her and she’s giggling :(((
if you get postpartum body dysmorphia, they will not stop complementing you. “obviously your body looks different, you gave birth to a living, breathing human” and “you’re so strong and beautiful and amazing” and “we’re so lucky to have you, love” and “you’re so gorgeous”
calling sophie their princess and you their queen/king
she adores when eddie tells her stories. even if she doesn’t understand what he’s saying, he’s dramatic and makes funny voices and big gestures that make her smile so wide
the “mom steve” jokes triple now that he actually has a kid
steve starts to learn now to do different types of braids and long hair hairdos. he practices on you (if you have long enough hair) and eddie
“i have to be ready for when she’s older! who else will do it? clearly i’m the only one who should be in charge of teaching her proper hair care”
for the first two months after giving birth you refrain from having sex at doctor’s recommendation (you still enjoy watching them tho)
having your first date night since giving birth and leaving sophie with max (who wont admit that she likes the responsibility) and having the house to yourselves
they eat you out until your thighs shake from overstimulation, then take turns fucking you
#steddie x reader#steddie x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#eddie munson x reader x steve harrington#pregnant!reader#eddie munson x pregnant!reader#steve harrington x pregnant!reader#eddie munson#steve harrington#x reader#stranger things x reader#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things headcanons#dad!eddie munson#dad!steve harrington#dad!eddie munson x reader#dad!steve harrington x reader#poly steddie#poly steddie headcanons#stranger things#mom!reader#dad!eddie munson x mom!reader#dad!steve harrington x mom!reader#eddie munson headcanons#steve harrington headcanons#x afab!reader#rin’s writing
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what are your thoughts on enhypen and their favorite part/s of their partner's body?
My thoughts, ey? I’ll do the Hyung line for now since my other enha nsfw is already Hyung line only. I’ll do a Sunoo & Jungwon catch up eventually if enough ppl want it. Btw thank you for your ask/request(?) 🫶
MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Warnings: SFW & NSFW. Lol. Poor grammar/ usage of text language since these are headcanons/thoughts, really.
Note: Also pretty short because whenever I think, I suddenly have the inability to think. Jake’s is longer because (starts running away)
Anyways, if no one's told y'all today, ily. :)🫶💜 horny mfs
More under the cut lol
♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎
Heeseung
SFW: I think he would like your hands the most. Something about Heeseung makes me see him as a hand holder when you’re on a date or just out in public, likes when you play with his hands, hair, just likes the way your hands look and feel against him. (Innocently). Also seems like the type to warm your hands up when it’s cold by rubbing and “blowing” hot air. (Please tell me y’all know what I’m talking about lmao)
NSFW: :)))))) honestly, I see him as an ass dude. Expect his hands always on your ass or his body pressed against you from behind whenever he finds a reasonable excuse to (like cuddling, or even out in public when he’s trying to stick with you.) now back to loving your hands :))) you already know what I’m gonna say. He, not so innocently, loves how your hands feel and look touching him.
Jay
SFW: May sound weird, but your entire face. He loves the shape of your face, how each of your features compliment each other. I see him as a ‘nose bopper’. Not to tease you, but just because he finds your nose to be so cute regardless of how you feel about it. He loves your lips, eyes, eyebrows, forehead, cheeks. I just see him as a sentimental/ romantic person???
NSFW: Okay, hear me out. I think he would love your thighs. Small or big, I feel like he would find your thighs really attractive. Whether they are touching or not, exposed or covered, just finds them to be a huge turn on. they are his main focus during ‼️seggs‼️ (sorry). Plus, idk if y’all have seen his hands, but try and tell me he isn’t the type to have a hand on your thigh whenever sitting or driving or any opportunity. Now talk to a wall 🫶
Jake
SFW: honestly, I think he seems like a clingy person so I’d say your entire body but I feel like that’s a cop out answer lol. Anyways, idk if y’all think the way I do but you ever see him talk to someone and he’s just listening intently, eye contact and all?? This makes me think his favorite body part/feature is your eyes. He loves how they look in the morning, afternoon, night. In the sunlight or even in the dark with LED lights/ under a lightbulb. Y’all get the point. He especially loves the way you look at him with your eyes, losing himself in them.
NSFW: alright, tried to keep this gender neutral but I can’t shake the whole “he’s a boobs guy” thought away. So, fem!readers, he likes your boobs, big or small, doesn’t matter. I tried to convince myself other wise but can’t. Always groping you or finding reasons to look at or touch your boobs. (With consent!!) again, his hands lowkey give it away, I’m sorry.
Now for the gender neutral lovelies, he loves your neck. Kissing, biting, sucking, the way it looks, it drives him crazy and leaves him CRAVING you just thinking about it. And if you’re into it, choking. Again, his hand lowkey :)))))) whatever, y'all get it, I think.
Sunghoon
SFW: Okay, this may sound weird than “face” but I think his favorite is your mouth. He loves the way your smile at him or in general, how it moves when you talk. Just warms his heart remembering your soft lips. Also, imo, he has nice lips which leads me to believe he’s a great kisser. Feel free to argue with a wall if you disagree. 🫶
NSFW: Tying into the mouth agenda, :))))) y’all already know where this is going. I still think he’s a great kisser, so you already know he’s gonna love steamy make out sessions with you. He’d get so turned on the moment he feels your lips on him, whether it’s on his lips, neck, chest, or lower, he’s in love with you and the way your lips feel and look against him. :))))
#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard headcanons#enha hard thoughts#enha x reader#enhypen x reader
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Unbreakable Part 4 (Erik Killmonger x OC)
A/N: So... we're getting into the thick of the plot here! So a lot happens in this chapter - maybe too much LOL but two parts were holdovers from chapter 3 that weren't quite ready lol so this chapter ended up jam-packed. Enjoy!
***
“You know we have staff to do that?” Nakia asked while she nursed Wakanda’s new princess and Naja moved at lightning speed folding all her clothes and straightening up her nursery.
Naja merely smiled and waved off her sister’s statement. “Yes I know. But the staff could use a break every once in a while. Besides laundry and organizing are the few domestic tasks mama taught us that I actually enjoy. How does such a tiny human make so many dirty clothes? She already has more clothes in this closet than I do.”
Nakia merely shook her head and laughed. “We have to change her outfit no less than 5 times each day. And she’ll outgrow 90% of that closet by the time you leave in a month.”
Naja’s shoulders sagged a bit as she realized she only had about four weeks left in Wakanda. She had been so disgruntled about coming and now she did not want to leave. She knew she had to, there was much work waiting for her in Niganda and she missed her life there. But for the first time in a long time, she wondered whether she would miss what she was leaving in Wakanda more. Particularly her sister, her niece and her nephew. The Queen of Wakanda was incredibly busy with the new baby and her regular duties but she and Naja still made time for sister bonding, even if it was merely fawning over the baby together.
“Who knows how big she’ll be when I am able to return again. Those five years with TJ went by so fast.”
“Yes, this time will be very different though. Thank Bast,” Nakia whispered. Naja abandoned her task and squeezed her sister’s hand.
“Yes, it will.” Naja pressed a soft kiss to the baby’s head before returning to her task.
“You ever think about having one of these one day?”
Naja was thankful her back was turned to Nakia as that question hit her ears. Her eyes clenched shut for a moment as if she could block out the avalanche of emotions that started barreling down at her at the question. She had to force her fingers to loosen around the baby onesie she was holding, her tight grip wrinking the pristine fabric. However, she did not let it show beyond that as she quickly schooled her expression into one of pained laughter.
“Nope,” she asserted with a tone that made it seem like the suggestion was laughable to her. “Don’t think years of murdering people make you the mothering type. Hardly a nurturer.”
“I disagree. You were amazing with TJ during his first 5 years. You were always the more nurturing of the two of us.”
“Even if that were true, it would require me to be attached to a man for more than a night.” She winked at Nakia who merely rolled her eyes with a chuckle, always amused by her sister’s flippant attitude about sex. “And there is not a single man on this continent or Earth I am interested in saddling myself with for a lifetime.” She ignored the vision of a certain prince that popped into her head.
“There’s not a single man whose company you enjoy in Niganda?”
She scoffed. “There’s barely a man who can give me an orgasm to enjoy on a regular basis. I certainly don’t enjoy their company. They are merely a necessary means to an end.” She chose to leave out the part where many of her late night callers were men she wanted information out of for the rebellion… her sister hardly needed to know that part.
“You can’t run from love forever, sister.”
Naja rolled her eyes. Here we fucking go… A lecture.
“I’m not running from it. I’ve actively decided I don’t want it. I love this life for you, Nakia. But I… I want something different.”
Naja knew Nakia was not foolish enough to actually believe that lie. Naja had always been the one who wanted what Nakia now had, not being Queen, but to settle down and build a family once she had the adventures she and Erik discussed. While Nakia had yearned for the life Naja now had but had fallen in love with the King, which came with responsibilities she could not ignore.
Sometimes those plans haunted her as vivid nightmares of the future she and Erik planned together when they retired from their posts as War Dogs and returned to Wakanda to serve T’Challa and Nakia as advisors and raise a family together. Fifteen years later and she could still see that future clear as day, only now it mocked her for ever believing it could be a reality, for putting so much stock into childhood fairytales and fantasies that could never happen.
“Love can fit into your lifestyle, Naja. You can have the life you want and make room for love.”
“The only people I love are in this palace right now. You, your children, T’Challa, Shuri. And our parents… most the time,” she muttered under her breath. “That’s all I need.”
“I understand. I just don’t want what happened with N’Jadaka to close you off from love forever.”
“It has nothing to do with him!” Another lie. “Not every decision I make in this life has to do with what he did.” Another lie. She despised just how much of the person she fashioned herself into was because of Erik. But there were some hurts… some wounds she simply could not let go. And no one on this planet, even Nakia, knew how deeply Erik had cut her. Everyone knew he abandoned her and broke off their engagement but their last conversation? That nail in the coffin of their love and friendship? Naja had never breathed those words aloud to another soul. Every time she tried, it felt like the poorly constructed stitches holding it together ripped open and pain flowed as if he had just hurled those words at her.
“I am not saying it does. I had just hoped… since you have clearly forgiven him and you are becoming friends again, perhaps it had softened some of this. I know a future with him is not possible but that doesn’t mean getting to a better place with him will not open doors for others.”
Naja paused but this time for some introspection as she tried to find the words to describe her increasingly complex relationship with a certain prince. She had two hearts where Erik was concerned and she had no idea which one would win out each day. One was held together by duck tape, still shattered and reeling from his actions. While the other, the heart that she tried her best to ignore, yearned for him as she did air to breathe and sustenance to survive. For that heart, he was as critical to her survival as the blood it pumped through her veins. And the control over her actions and her brain ebbed and flowed between the two, toggling back and forth in ways that made her increasingly frustrated.
She wanted to hate him, her hate for him was fuel and she was not ready to let it go. Today or ever. Once those feelings were the most clear and easy aspects of her life. And now? They were murky and she found herself wanting to forgive him so she could experience the once-in-a-lifetime love he offered her again. Since he held her the other night, she could not shake the feeling it left her with, the reality of how much she had gone without in the last 15 years. But she could not pretend that the mere idea of giving into that made her feel ashamed of herself. How could she forgive him so easily? He had not even really worked for it yet. She had to make him work for it, she could not let go that easy. She would hold to the tether of her rage and pain until it broke. Because he did not deserve easy this time.
“I haven’t forgiven him… not yet anyway and I wouldn’t use the words friends. And whatever we are was not intended, believe me. I planned to go to my grave hating Prince N’Jadaka. I still might. But he’s… I don’t know. Every bit the same as I remember and completely different too. And he sees me? In a way no one else really does. So I am willing to give him a chance to earn my forgiveness, prove he’s changed. We are going out together on Friday.” She glanced over her shoulder expecting to see an excited look on her sister’s face. Instead, she saw an expression she could not read fully. Partially shock but under the surface, Naja could not help but wonder if she saw a hint of anger. Of course, Nakia was able to school her face to throw on a fake smile but Naja noticed it too fast. “What’s that look?? You think I’m completely stupid, don’t you??”
Nakia cleared her throat and shook her head. “No, no. You’re far from stupid. I just… Just be careful, Naja.”
Naja scoffed. “I’m surprised you aren’t jumping for joy. Am I to believe the ulterior motive of this whole visit was not to get us back together? Was your husband alone in those intentions? It’s not gonna happen, I don’t want that,” Not really, she added silently in her head. “I just… there’s a part of me that has to know if he really has changed? And I lost a bet,” she admitted.
“T’Challa and I merely want you and N’Jadaka both to be happy. And be able to coexist for the sake of this family. And perhaps that is best done apart. I just don’t want to see you hurt again. There are things you don’t know about him a-”
“I’ll never be hurt like that again,” Naja answered sharply, cutting her sister off. She became immediately frustrated by the insinuation that she was anything like the 17 year old girl Nakia and T’Challa had to nurse back to health like a broken bird. As if Erik or anyone could break her again. She was stronger, she was different. “I know everything I need to know about who Erik is now. We’ll never be more than friends.”
Nakia fell silent and merely nodded, though Naja could tell there was more she wanted to say. “You’re right, you’re right. Sometimes I just get overprotective.”
Naja immediately felt bad for biting her head off. This was Nakia’s job as her older sister. But Naja already felt rubbed raw by N’Jadaka’s clear advances and effort. Old woulds were open and now her own sister was questioning whether she was strong enough to withstand the inferno that was Erik once again. If Nakia could not see how much she had changed, had she really at all?
“I know and I appreciate it. But I don’t need you or anyone else to protect me anymore. I’ll be ok. I promise.”
***
Naja barely laid her head down to attempt to sleep when she got a call on her kimoyo beads. She glanced down, surprised to find a voice message from N’Jadaka.
“Meet me outside. Bring your notes and journals. Got somethin’ to show you.”
Naja could not help but stare at her beads in confusion. She had seen Erik several times throughout the day and he had not mentioned wanting to see her tonight or that he had anything to show her.
Despite all of her questions and annoyances about having to leave the palace so late, she still forced herself out of bed and back into the first set of acceptable clothes she could find. Since she worked late nights at the bar and often did her recon and other illegal activities in the dead of night, all of her clothes were designed for stealth and to hide weapons. It was all the clothes she had so even tonight, when there was no stealthing or defending to do, her light black jacket was still home to four well hidden knives and her soft black leggings held spots for two guns, which she chose to leave at home. She stuffed all of her notes and journal into a small backpack.
She slid on her soundless shoes and out of her room with a mere nod to the Dora assigned to her room. She walked through the palace and out to the landing pad, Erik arrogantly leaning against the Royal Talon.
“That was quick. When I didn’t get some smart ass response, I assumed you didn’t get it.”
“It’s not too late if you need a dose of smart ass. I always have a few in my back pocket for you.”
Erik surveyed her body, taking in her perfect curves and toned ass in her leggings. He licked his lips and winked at her. “What else you got back there for me?”
Naja stopped in front of him and smiled sweetly. “A gun… though I’d prefer a knife. But trust me, you wouldn’t.”
“How you know knife play ain’t a kink of mine, baby girl?”
Naja almost choked before she recovered with a shake of her head as Erik burst into laughter. “You’re my least favorite person on this continent, you know that right?”
“Don’t believe that for a second. Come on,” he gestured toward the Talon as the ramp opened for them to climb on.
“Does our King know we are stealing his plane?”
Erik merely shrugged as he slid into the driver's seat. “More or less. Not my first time takin’ it out for a little ride. But don’t worry, we’re just going to Shuri’s lab. So we won’t be far.”
“What’s at Shuri’s lab?” Not that she did not mind going to Shuri’s lab, she enjoyed learning from the Princess and getting to try out new gadgets before anyone else. However, she did not understand why he wanted to go there with her or what he would have to show her.
“You’ll see.”
Naja rolled her eyes before sliding into one of the seats. The short plane ride was virtually silent though the tension between them, in such a small space, was palpable. Things had somehow both become more difficult and more effortless between theme since he spent the night two days prior. The vulnerability they shared broke down a few barriers in a way Naja had not expected but she did not know what to do now. She was not accustomed to gray space when it came to Erik. They were not friends, they were not lovers but they weren’t enemies anymore either. They were just something else that she was not prepared to decipher or understand.
“So are you going to reveal the big secret?” Naja asked as they entered Shuri’s private workspace. She was surprised to not find the Princess in her usual spot. Everyone knew she did her best work in the middle of the night when she should have been resting like everyone else in Wakanda. The Wakandan Palace was filled with night owls.
“Shuri told me we could use the space at night for a while cause she’s working on a different project downstairs. Wanted to show you this,” he took her over to the giant work table which was usually covered in completed or half-finished gadgets. However, tonight, it was filled with notes and papers, treaties, aerial photos, and a giant 3-D map of Niganda.
“Whoa.” Naja’s hands started grabbing random pieces of paper. There was enough material here to keep her busy for weeks. “What’s all this?”
“Notes from the other three War Dogs in Niganda from the last year, I didn’t tell them why,” he added at the freaked out look on her face. “I just asked all War Dogs to send an update to make it seem routine. After our talk the other night, I pulled some recon photos we had from before the peace treaty talks started. Figured we could use all this and your notes to piece together some more information. And T doesn’t really come down here unless Shuri invites him so it’s a good spot to do shit we ain’t supposed to be doin’.”
Naja glanced at him with wide eyes. “You did all this to help me?”
“There’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do to help you. I know you don’t believe that but it’s true. And you ain’t in this alone, this ain’t just on you to figure out.”
Erik did not have the heart to tell her that his actions were not totally altruistic. He had his own motivations for finding a reason to end these peace talks with Niganda. His future, or rather the future he wanted, was as tightly wound in discovering what Niganda was doing as Naja’s was, if not more so.
She sighed, grabbing more papers. “I do now. Thank you, N’Jadaka. Seriously. Also a bit old school don’t you think?” She gestured to the printed papers.
“Less likely for T’Challa or anyone to notice on our tablets and shit. And stop thankin’ me and let’s get to it, aight?” she nodded with a smile before putting on her game face. “So you said the King is definitely behind the kidnappings? Any theories as to why?”
“Definitely. Witnesses report soldiers taking the kids. It’s possible it is a rogue faction of the guard doing something nefarious and they are getting away with it because most of the people will think it is the King’s orders. But King Bisi runs the guard with an iron fist, hell, most do not breathe without his command. There are claims that his mental health is waning so perhaps someone in the palace is taking advantage of that? But there are few in his court with the skill to pull something like this off besides him.” She sighed. “And I have several theories but none of them are particularly good and haven’t panned out.”
“Ok well let’s hear 'em anyway.”
She started pacing up and down the length of the table. “First I thought intimidation? You know taking the children to keep their parents in line. But that doesn’t explain the first four kids who were all orphans. And the entire country, save the rebels, are already terrified of him. And those with parents… none of them are part of the Front or involved in illegal activity. They are just regular people so that would not make sense. It could be trafficking or labor for the fields? It’s the poorest village of the Capitol and in the country so outside of those of us who live there, no one would know or care that these kids are going missing. The wealthier villages are just happy to remain in the King’s favor. The first few were from the local orphanage, the man who runs it is who sounded the alarm to Dayo initially. But Dayo ruled out trafficking. The kids aren’t showing up in those channels either. Whatever he is doing with them, they are still in Niganda.”
“Yea, and there are a lot easier ways to get bodies… prisoners, rebels. What else?”
Naja glanced up at him with a helpless expression. “That’s it. If we were finding bodies, we’d have more to go on but these kids are vanishing without a trace.”
“Anything else suspicious happened since this started?”
“Not really. Two doctors were kidnapped about a week before the kids started. But we found one of their bodies the same week so we assumed they were both dead and fell into something they shouldn’t have. We never found the body of the second one so maybe that’s something?”
“Yea but most people kidnap adults or kids… kidnapping both is uncommon. What’s the deal with this rebellion anyway?” At her skeptical look, he smiled. “Don’t worry, ain’t gon’ rat you out to T.”
“How else do revolutions and rebellions start in this world? The people have nothing and King Bisi brutalizes them while leaving them destitute. Dayo… he and a couple rebel leaders were once in the King’s court but he escaped after the King murdered an entire village who was ‘harboring’ a father who had stolen from the palace. He realized that the freedom we deserved was only possible if the king was not in power. He created the Nigandan Liberation Front to overthrow the Royal Family and install a true democracy.”
Eek could not help but hear how she used the word “we” to describe Nigandan citizens as if she was not a spy masquerading as one of them. Nor could he stop the smallest kernel of hope from blossoming in his heart. If the rebels succeeded, that nagging reminder of the promise he made that he desperately tried to forget, the reminder that his future did not belong to him at all, would be null and void.
“How likely you think that is?”
She scratched her forehead. “Honestly, I don’t know. We’re inching forward but it could be years. The King loves his grip on power. Many refuse to join the rebellion because they hold hope that his heir will be different but…”
“You disagree? You know her?”
She laughed humorlessly. “No, never met her. Gotten a glimpse of her a few times. She’s been to the village more than once. She’s known for her charity work, feeding and clothing those in need.”
Erik could hear the disdain in her voice. “That’s a good thing, ain’t it?”
“Not when she has the power to ensure there are no poor in the country to begin with. Niganda has the money for everyone to live in prosperity. Her father has chosen policies that hoard resources for him, his council, and the wealthy while the rest of the country starves. Many of the country may love her for it but I won’t celebrate someone saving lives when they are the reason the people are dying to begin with. All Princess Imani is doing is keeping the people on life support so they can continue to serve her family and eventually her interests. As far as I’m concerned, she is as soulless as her father.”
Erik’s eyes grew wide. “Damn, tell me how you really feel. Who knows, maybe she’ll be different.”
Naja did not look up from the written accounts of one of the war dogs she was reading. “Why do you care so much? It’s not as if you have to live under her rule. You met her?”
Erik fixed his face to seem as disinterested as he should be. “Only once at an event. She was a bit vain but hella independent. I’d hardly describe her as soulless. Her father? That nigga definitely. But she seemed like she wanted to do some good.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it. But that’s a ways away, unfortunately. According to the palace, King Bisi is in perfect physical health by all accounts. And despite his age and ailing mental health, the ancestors will have to drag him to whatever heaven or preferably hell is waiting for him before he willingly gives up that throne.” Silence fell for a few minutes before she paused. “Wait… this could be something. Did you read this one from… M’Badu?”
“Haven’t had a chance to read any of them. What’s it say?”
Naja stood and walked over to where he sat to hand him the papers, sliding to sit on the table in front of him. “His cover is a doctor at the biggest hospital in the Western Province, smart cover… that’s were all the wealthy go. A life of comfort as you put it. He reported that half of their supply of medications and drugs was stolen the day after the first child was stolen. Things like anesthesia, blood supply… opioids.”
“So? Could be for a black market or somethin’.”
“No, I know every major player in Nigandan’s underground… none of them have the manpower, capitol, or balls to pull this off. And they are all egotistical men so they would’ve bragged about a score this big. I never even heard this happened, which is saying something. They still small amounts with the help of doctors and nurses in their pockets to avoid attention. Whoever did this has all those things and sophistication.”
“Why you say that?”
“Because… I didn’t think it was relevant but this same hospital houses the country’s largest scientific research center and they had a break in not long ago… about a month before the first child was taken. I don’t even live in that Province and I heard about it. It was the biggest breach of security they’ve ever had. They redid the security for the entire facility and hospital afterward. So this person had to get around all of that and M’Badu said Princess Imani had been there earlier that day visiting sick children. So they had to avoid additional palace guards too.”
“Ballsy to hit the same hospital twice.”
“Not really when you know the health care infrastructure is crumbling. Biggest hospital in the country and the only significant research facility. If you want as many chemicals and drugs as you can get your hands on, this is your only option.”
“What chemicals were taken?”
“They took a bit of everything the facility had. All raw chemicals and drugs that could be used to make a million different things. Dayo and I check the black markets every night to see what will turn up but nothing of note has.”
Erik raised an eyebrow. “Does T know you frequent black markets this much?”
“He knows I check to see if there’s vibranium floating around. But does he know I go almost every night and sell what I can get my hands on? Nope.”
“What do you even have to sell?”
“Whatever I can buy with my War Dog riches without raising attention… and whatever I can steal from the King and the wealthy and give back to the people where it belongs.”
Erik was shocked, and admittedly aroused, at how nonchalantly she talked about theft. A ruthless spy indeed.
“How’d you get into that? Also you must not do much bartending on your shifts with all this extra shit?”
She let out a barking laugh and waved her hand dismissively. “No. Truth be told, I’m a terrible bartender, which Dayo figured out fairly early on. But Dayo is not a fool and recognized I had skills that were far more important to him so he keeps me around to bookkeep for him, manage the bar… flirt with men to get information. And some talents that he appreciates but won’t dare ask how I got. My speciality in the Hatut Zeraze … besides torture and murder, of course, was infiltration. When he realized, Dayo helped me start to steal from the trucks that supply the palace and wealthier restaurants with food and other delicacies. Sometimes from the houses of the wealthy. I take whatever I can and sell it.”
Erik let out a low whistle. “Infiltration… that shit’s hard. I was good at gettin’ niggas to talk but the gettin’ in and out was always my weak spot.”
She shrugged as she looked down at him from her spot. “I’m surprised. All it takes is being a good liar. And you’re the best one I know,” she mumbled under her breath before she could stop herself. She clenched her eyes closed as she saw the hurt flash across his face. “Sorry, habit.” She stood up from her perch she had taken on the edge of the table by him and moved to the giant screen they had in the room. She started writing the information they had on it.
Erik let the papers he was holding fall back onto the metal table. “My feelings for you weren’t a lie, Naja. The things we talked about, the life we wanted to have together… none of it was lies… I just… shit happened and I handled it all wrong a-”
Her hand stilled as she heard his words, painfully clashing against the narrative she had created for over a decade. Her heart wanted her to leap and fall but her brain forced her feet to remain planted where they were until he proved he could be trusted again. All of this was a good first step but that was all it was: a first step.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what? We need to talk about what happened. Let me explain.”
“Look… I want to trust you… get to a place where we can, at least, be friends again, Erik. Because as hard as I try to hate you with my entire soul… part of me will always care for you more than I should. You caught me at a weak moment the other night and I appreciate you being there for me. But nothing that’s happened should make you think the door is open for that conversation. I don’t want to hear you excuses and reasoning… whether or not what you felt was true doesn’t matter anymore. Why you left… why you said those things, none of it matters because it doesn’t change the fact that you left. All that matters is that you did it and you said it. And because of that, we can’t go back. But we can create something new… a new friendship. So all I want to see and hear from you now is something different. That’s all I have space for.”
Erik’s head fell in disappointment at her words. He knew he should not have gotten his hopes up, that he should have listened to T’Challa and not gotten his heart back invested in Naja because she would never feel the same. He knew that was not the only reason T’Challa had cautioned him to stay away but he had not listened. He never listened. And though he knew he should take her words as fact and accept the friendship she offered, he knew it would not be enough. Whatever time he had left of freedom, he wanted to spend what time he had left with her, choosing her. He also knew her better than any other soul on this Earth, there was more than just care for her too even if she did not want to admit it.
Luckily for him, Erik was as patient as he was committed. He would not stop trying and he would play the long game to continue softening that barrier between them for as long as he was able.
“Ok so…” she turned back to him, a determined look on her face as she quickly changed the course of their conversation. “We have missing kids, a doctor, drugs, chemicals, and medication. But no obvious links between any of them. So we have nothing.”
“The links are always there. We just gotta find them.”
***
Nakia stalked through the palace, an aura of anger radiating off of her so strong that the few servants walking about immediately moved out of her way as she raced to her husband’s office. She did not give Okoye a chance to knock or announce her presence as she walked inside. She had tried to not let her overprotective nature get the best of her since her conversation with Naja that morning. However, when Ayo alerted her to Erik and Naja taking the Talon for a late night joyride, she could hold her tongue no longer.
T’Challa glanced up from his tablet as the door opened and she swept in. However, his fatal error was not noticing the look of rage contorting her features.
“I will come up to bed soon, my love. I need to finish thi- what’s wrong? Is it the baby?” T’Challa immediately jumped up as he realized his wife was not there to drag him from his office to get rest.
“What part of ‘Tell Erik to stay away from Naja,’ did you not understand, T’Challa??” she exploded. No one except Nakia could yell at the King of Wakanda and the Black Panther. “Because what is happening right now is NOT staying away!”
T’Challa grimaced. “I told him to stay away.”
“What did you say exactly??”
“That she despised him and that she would never forgive him, which is true. Naja won’t forgive him so there is nothing to be concerned about.”
She shook her head as she paced up and down by his desk. “No it is not true! They are currently Bast knows where in the Royal Talon. He spent the night in her room a few days ago and they are going out on Friday.”
“Nakia…” his voice took on a chastising tone. “You can’t spy on your sister.”
“Do not take that tone with me as if you do not spy on N’Jadaka too. You knew this was going on and you’ve said nothing. You’ve DONE nothing to stop it. I will spy on her all I want when she is in harm’s way. Someone has to protect her, no one else in this country seems to.”
The jab hit exactly where she wanted it to, T’Challa’s face twisting up in indignation. “That is not fair, Nakia. I protect Naja just as I do my own sister. She is my sister in every way that matters. But I cannot stop N’Jadaka from trying to mend fences with her if that is what he wants to do.”
Nakia shook her head. “This is more than mending fences and you know it. He is in love with her and making her fall in love with him again. And you and I and he all know that cannot happen. The only person who is going to get hurt is Naja.”
T’Challa shook his head. “What we are talking about is a hypothetical situation that is 10… maybe 15 to 20 years down the road, Nakia. The King will have to die and she would have to choose N’Jadaka among a list of eligible princes. We have years before it is even a conversation and even then, it is only a possibility. The Princess does not even want to get married.”
“You and I both know that King Bisi did not raise a fool. There may be a list… but every nation on it knows that Wakanda, thus Prince N’Jadaka, is the list. If she is forced to marry someone, which she will have to according to Nigandan law to be queen, there is no one else who would give the Nigandans the power and resources they want and need other than him. Just because N’Jadaka chooses to play the fool and pretend that is not the case does not mean we have to. I am not ok with my sister’s heart being broken in 10 or 20 years either when I can stop it now. Since N’Jadaka and you have clearly forgotten, remind him of the promise he made to this country or I swear to Bast, I will tell her myself.”
“Nakia… Erik offered his life and future for this country and for us. The life he has led… what he has endured because of what Wakanda took from him… he deserves happiness. He deserves hope even if it is only for a short while. Do not ask me to take it from him. I have faith that N’Jadaka will tell her when the time is right. Before it progresses to anything serious.”
“No one deserves happiness at the expense of someone else’s. My sister deserves happiness too… with someone who can actually dedicate their entire life to her, not years with an expiration date stamped to them. I love N’Jadaka like he is my own brother and I wish for his happiness as I wish for Shuri’s and everyone else I love. But I will not allow your guilt for what your father did to hurt my sister. He broke her once and I lost her for years because of it but if he does it again, I don’t think she will be able to get back up. Tell him to stay away from her, T’Challa. I mean it. Before this ill-fated date on Friday. And do it properly this time.”
She did not even wait for him to agree or respond before she swept out of the office, Okoye peering in as if waiting for an invitation.
“I suppose you heard all of that?”
Okoye nodded. “Our queen’s voice does certainly carry when she is impassioned and angry at you. Did you really believe what you told the Prince that first night would stick?”
T’Challa’s head thudded back against the soft material of his chair, his hand rubbing his eyes. “I had hope… foolishly perhaps.”
“Seems as if there is a lot of foolish hope floating around this palace since Naja returned.”
“Do you believe it is my guilt?” T’Challa asked as Okoye handed him a glass of rum from his stash. He sought counsel from precious few people but Okoye was most certainly on that list.
Okoye sighed. “What did you tell me your father said when you saw him in the Planes? You’re a good man, T’Challa… and it is hard for a good man to be king. You want to do right by him to make amends for what your father did and I understand that. But you, who seems determined to carry the weight of his triumphs and mistakes, aren’t accountable for what King T’Chaka did, the fate he allowed to befall his own family. That was his choice and is it a shame that he did not live to take accountability for that, yes. But that how Bast saw for his life to play out. What Prince N’Jadaka lost? That is not a debt you will be able to repay, my King. Even saving his life won’t do it. And you would be a fool to try… and you are not a fool. Prince N’Jadaka must make peace with what he lost and you, my king, must make peace with your father’s role in it. But denying Prince N’Jadaka hard truths because it makes you feel better about what happened to him will do nothing but hurt him when those hard truths come to call. And they always do.”
And with those words, Okoye returned to her post outside his office and left her King alone with his thoughts.
***
“Fuck!” Naja’s frustrations got the better of her as she and N’Jadaka spent another night pouring over all their notes and information. She threw a knife at the wall, the very tip of it lodging into the vibranium. “This is hopeless.”
“We have a good startin’ point. Seems like experimentation of a new drug or chemical or somethin’ is the most likely bet.”
“Yes but what good is that if we have absolutely no way of determining what they are testing and why?”
Erik stared at her for a moment and sighed. It did not matter how many nights they spent working on this, it would never satisfy Naja until they… she found each one of these kids and returned them to their parents.
Naja was fascinating puzzle to him. Depending on the setting and context, he saw a different picture every time he looked at her. When they trained, he saw Naja, the ruthless assassin. She was everything T’Challa said: a lethal beauty… Killmonger’s equal in every way… just as cunning, pragmatic and unemotional as he - maybe more. That night in her room he saw the Naja he used to know, the soft second daughter of the River Tribe who could not wound a fly, much less murder a person. And when they stood among the low blue lights of Shuri’s lab, he saw the Naja he imagined she did not want anyone else to see: a ruthless assassin who was still felt everything far deeper than she should.
He knew the real Naja was the latter version. Just as Killmonger was not the real him nor was the 18 year old he was before he fled Wakanda. It had taken a brush with death and a year to finally come to terms with the fact that it was not an either/or calculation. The real him was the best and worst parts of all of the hats he wore. He prayed to Bast it would not take the same thing for Naja.
“Let’s get out of here.”
Naja looked at him like he had grown several heads. “You’re joking right?”
“We’ve been staring at this shit for hours every night and recycling’ the same theories. Let’s take a break. You know one night ain’t gon’ make a difference.”
“And go where?”
“For me to know and you to find out. Come on.” And with that, he walked out of the lab.
Naja stared at his back for a few moments before letting out a soft chuckle and following after him. She followed his footsteps to the elevator, which took them up to the panther opening of the Great Mound.
“When’s the last time you saw a Wakandan sunrise?” He asked as he walked to the edge of the cliff and sat down, his legs dangling off the side. A small sliver of the sun was visible over the horizon.
“You remembered?” Her entire body stilled as she looked at him.
“If I remember correctly, it was the sunrise over the falls specifically but I figured this would do too.”
While sunsets were always Erik’s favorite thing about Wakanda, Naja’s was the sunrise. Different sides of the most beautiful coin Wakanda had to offer. Naja often snuck out as a child, when she needed to calm her spirit, to the falls to watch Bast bring a new day across all of Wakanda.
“I forgot how beautiful it was,” she muttered as she sat down next to him. “Niganda has a different sort of beauty to it. But it’s not this.”
In the distance, she could see a herd of antelope racing by, the sun only barely peeking out. They sat in silence as they both stared out into the distance. Erik could tell that the picturesque landscape was not doing much as her shoulders still hunched forward with the weight of everything she felt.
“What are you thinkin’?”
“That I can’t find them…. That all these kids are going to die because I’m too much of a failure to connect the dots. ‘A wallflower who will never be quite good enough’ indeed.” The words of her father rang loudly in her head. Aside from her rage for Erik, he was the other man whose words fueled this version of her, fueled her desperate need to be the best.
Erik sighed. “You were always too hard on yourself, Naja. Never saw your potential.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Nobody here saw my potential… my father made sure of that. Nakia’s shadow and nothing more. You know he tried to stop me from becoming a War Dog? Tried to get T’Challa’s father to decline my application.”
Erik bowed his head. “Yea T told me.”
“Of course he did,” she chuckled. She brought one knee to her chest and hugged it. “I passed the trainings and tests and he still tried to go behind my back to stop me from doing it. You know that’s why I became Hatut Zeraze? Wasn’t the route I intended when I applied, even Nakia didn’t go that route. But I just wanted to spite him, prove I could do it. That I was built for it. That’s all my entire life has been. Proving I’m worthy… that I’m something to the people who claim to love me. But maybe all of you were right. I should’ve just stayed in Nakia’s shadow.”
Erik pressed his palms into the warm surface of the mountain’s cliff and scooted himself closer to her so that their shoulders were touching. He placed a tentative hand on her thigh, right above her knee, gently rubbing it.
Her breath nearly stopped at his touch, tender and loving just as she remembered. She felt everything in that simple touch. It had been too long since she let someone touch her for comfort and in the last week, she had let him do it twice. And this time, she had no desire or inkling to pull away from him.
“Nah we were all wrong. I ain’t just sayin’ this, Naja but you can figure this out. Your father’s words… my words… they don’t gotta be what you believe about yourself. You can choose to believe that you’re the woman who took all her pain and fashioned herself into a weapon, someone who people quake in fear when they see comin’. You think I ain’t heard stories about you since I got back?” He nudged her with his shoulder causing her to laugh. “You might’ve started down the road cause of me and your dad and whatever else but where you are now? That’s all you. So own that ’n use it to figure this out. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Always were.”
She sighed and glanced at him. “How is that you always know what to say? It’s extremely annoying, in case you were wondering,” she added with a teasing smile.
“I always know what to say with you. But only because I’ve always seen all of you.”
“Oof… all of me? Quite the dark picture I imagine,” though she tried to keep her tone light, Erik could see it. The shame in her deep brown eyes that she tried to hide by dipping her head, avoiding his stare.
“Nah, parts of it are dark… but those parts were always eclipsed by light and vibrancy. There were just too many people contributed to dimming that light. Me included. But from where I’m sittin’, the only person dimmin’ your light ‘n doubtin’ you right now… is you. Can’t hide in the darkness forever, baby girl. Gotta let that sun rise at some point.”
She rested her cheek on her kneecap, his words settling into her mind. She did not have the words to respond to that. Or rather, she had so many words, so many feelings bubbling to the surface that she did not know where to start. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, forcing them away from him as she pushed them back down where they belong.
He did not say anything, thank Bast, he merely just took her hand, lending her as much nonverbal support as he could. She squeezed his hand gently, praying that the small gestured conveyed what her words could not. Her thanks for always seeing her even when she desperately tried to hide.
***
Only T’Challa was at breakfast when Erik arrived, an additional pep in his step despite the somber tone this day usually had for him each year. Today was finally his date with Naja and he would be lying if he said he had not strategically picked today in hopes she would distract him from the painful memories and rage he usually felt. Naja had always been his peace and solace, his place to retreat to. She still was.
Though she would never call it a date, it was close enough to one for him. To an outsider, it might not have seemed like much. But to him, it was everything. Spending the night with her, working with her every night, solidified one fact he had always known: he was madly and insanely in love with her. And her friendship was not enough… he’d do anything in his power to get her back.
“Morning,” he offered as he settled into the seat across from T’Challa.
“How are you today? I know what today is.” The words were simple, T’Challa did not even look up from his tablet as he offered them.
Erik shrugged. “Just another day like any other day.” As much as he loved T’Challa, in his own way, his father was not a subject he would discuss with his cousin. Ever. “What did you want to talk about?”
T’Challa glanced at Okoye who merely offered him a dead pan expression that demanded he get on with it. He closed the cover of his tablet and lifted his eyes to his cousin. Erik could immediately since the tension… a power imbalance that was not usually present when he spoke to T’Challa. He straightened up slightly, he was not speaking to his cousin today. Today, he was speaking to his king.
“You and Naja have been spending quite a lot of time together. Daily sparring sessions. Late night rides on the Talon. You spent the night in her room?”
Erik raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Is that a question cause seems like you know already?” He and Naja’s sparring sessions were no secret around the palace, they were often a spectacle for training Dora and War Dogs alike. Everything else was not common knowledge, though Erik knew he always had eyes on him. But Erik did not understand what that had to do with him being called to the proverbial principal’s office.
T’Challa sighed. “Do not do this, N’Jadaka. You will only end up hurting her.”
“Do what? Stop beatin’ around the damn bush ‘n just say what you need to say.” Erik’s patience was running thin, as it often did when T’Challa clearly had something on his mind but did not want to confront him. Save Naja perhaps, Erik was the only person in the entire palace T’Challa handheld like a child. Like he would pick up and run the moment T’Challa did his job as King and ordered him or told him something he did not like. But Erik was no stranger to hard truths, his life had been shaped by them. There was nothing T’Challa could say that would make him run, not anymore.
“Stop working her! Naja is not a mark or a challenge to conquer. You are falling in love with her and trying to convince her to do the same because you believe you have time. Time to undo the mistakes of the past, time to try again even if it is fleeting. You made a promise and I expect you to keep it. So stop pursuing something that can never happen.”
Erik stilled. He had made that promise to T’Challa and the Nigandans in service to Wakanda, a promise that he was assured may not even happen. Had he foolishly held onto that too tightly? Maybe.
“You told me she didn’t even want to marry. That it was unlikely given Niganda and Wakanda’s relationship.”
“Plenty of monarchs don’t want to get married, N’Jadaka. But she will because it is her duty. And marriage alliances are one way to cement peace, which puts your name at the top of the list. Frankly,” T’Challa sighed. “You might as well be the only name on the list. I’m sorry… I should’ve been more clear when Naja returned about this. That is my fault.”
“Wait, wait. Nah, nah, nah. T, I’m just… I’m just gettin’ her back. This is a once in a lifetime shot. Don’t ask me to give her up. Retract my name from consideration. Please.”
Erik Stevens had never begged another human being in his life, his pride would never allow him to do such a thing. However, for Naja? Pleas were all he had to over, pleas that T’Challa would give him this reprieve as his cousin and not his King. He could not give Naja up, would not give her up.
“The peace between our countries is fragile as it is, N’Jadaka. Any perceived or real slight could tip the scales. I know it is not fair, I know it is not right. And I am sorry. But you made a promise when we offered up your name that you would serve Wakanda’s interests if chosen. And as your king, I expect you to uphold that. Whether it is 5 years or 20 before she is queen, you are as good as engaged to her. You need to start acting like it.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
T’Challa sighed and clenched his eyes closed before saying, “Stay away from Naja. Temper your feelings for her so you can fulfill your duty when the time comes. You can do whatever you want with your life and your heart until then but Naja is off limits.”
“That an order?”
T’Challa stood up and walked over to Erik, placing one hand on his shoulder, which he immediately shrugged off in frustration. “I tried to warn you once as your brother and hers. I hoped the knowledge that she still harbored such anger toward you would be enough to keep you away. But I was wrong. I give you a long leash, N’Jadaka and I do it because you have proven yourself worthy of it. But yes. On this subject? This is me ordering you as King. Do not continue to foster feelings you know you cannot act on. Stay away from her.”
Erik’s hands curled into fists. Those were two things he could not do. “Why’d you even offer up my name when you knew she lived there? If she had not come home, were you ever gonna tell her that the man she despises would be her King consort one day? That I would be leading the country she calls home. Were you ever gonna tell me that the woman I loved more than anyone on this planet was living in the country you offered me up to like a prized horse? I didn’t know where Naja was when I agreed to this but you did… and you said nothing.”
“At the time, I did not owe either of you that information. And I did not say anything because your dedication to this country should outweigh whatever childish feelings you still harbor toward her. Beyond that, Nakia wants Naja here… home with us. I will not pretend as though I do not see this eventuality as a way to push her toward returning here for good.”
“You’re talkin’ about me workin’ her like a mark? As if you aren’t usin’ this shit to manipulate her into comin’ home. Just like you did to get her back here in the first place. She deserves the truth. She can handle the truth ‘n make her own damn decisions.”
T’Challa scoffed. “Bold of you to say as if you did not abandon her and throw a grenade behind you as you went.”
“That was different,” N’Jadaka rose from his chair, his rage getting the better of him. “And you fuckin’ know it.”
“Hardly. You found out the truth of what happened to your parents and instead of trusting Naja with it and what you wanted to go do, you destroyed her to ensure she would not follow. You did not see what Nakia and I saw after you left. It took months to piece her back together. Nakia refuses to see that happen again. Better you hurt her now before she grows too attached to you again.” It will hurt her but it will not break her.”
Erik shook his head, finding his cousin colder than he had ever known him to be. He was not talking to his cousin who was basically his brother. He was talking to King T’Challa, son of King T’Chaka indeed. “That’s cold, T.”
“I know… and I take no pleasure in it. I would love for you and Naja to be what you once were. I will even admit that I may have considered it a blessed side effect of her return when I invited her back. But I am King and that means I must often act contrary to my whims of my heart and do what is best for Wakanda. And whether T’Challa, your cousin and brother, likes it or not, what best for Wakanda is that you are free to secure this alliance between Wakanda and Niganda when the time comes. You and Naja’s feelings and complicated relationship do not supersede what Wakanda needs to survive or what this continent requires to avoid another needless war.”
Erik could not stomach to hear another word. He stood up with such force, his chair screeched loudly against the marble floors. “Yes, my king,” he sneered before marching toward the door, his breakfast forgotten. However, when he got to the door, he stopped. “Your father chose Wakanda and politics over family ’n we all know how that turned out. Thought you would’ve learned from that nigga’s mistakes but I guess you’re more like him than I thought.”
And with that, Erik stormed out.
***
Erik fiddled with his kimoyo beads, dreading what he had to do. Words could not describe how much he hated T’Challa in this moment. He was well within his rights as king and things had only gotten this far because Erik allowed himself to have hope - a fool’s errand really. But here he was and now he was going to have to break his own heart and Naja’s again. He hated himself for it. But he had forced himself to hurt her once to fulfill a selfish need for vengeance. He could do it again for his country. He had no choice.
This was not how he wanted today to go. On today of all days, to have to lose another person he loved, it was too much.
He pressed the button of his kimoyo beads, calling Naja. He hated how quickly she picked up, a soft smile on her face.
“Hey,” he offered.
“Hey… you ok?” She asked. “You sound weird? You better not be calling me to cancel. I let Shuri drag me to get a manicure and pedicure for this…. Painstaking shit if you ask me. I adore her but that girl basically wants to dress me up like a damn doll. I drew the line at her taking me to get my make up professionally done.” At his silence and the grimace on his face, she frowned. “Oh you are canceling.”
“Yea, I’m sorry.” She clearly tried to hide her disappointment, the deep frown that overtook her features. He did not understand how he did this all those years ago. It felt like the worst form of torture to make himself do this again. And as he struggled to find the words, he realized he couldn’t. So like the coward he was, instead of telling her the real reason he needed to cancel, he said, “T’Challa just dumped a bunch of shit on my plate for the peace talks and it’s pretty time sensitive. Will keep me busy ’n workin’ late for a while. A-and honestly… just havin’ a really shitty day. Wouldn’t be much fun anyway. Figured it’s only right to free you from your debt.”
She chewed on her lip for a few minutes before saying, “No worries. Your work and Wakanda comes first and I’m sure you’ve been falling behind since spending every night helping me. All good.”
“I am… really sorry, Naja. I hope you believe that.”
“I do. Still have time for our sparring session tomorrow?”
He could hear the hopefulness in her voice. And that hopefulness felt like a beacon of light in a hopeless situation for him, proof that she felt everything he felt. He lowered the beads so he could not see his face and clenched his eyes closed. He knew he should say no but he heard himself say, “Yea, we’re still on for tomorrow.”
He could see the small sigh of relief she let out. “Good. See you tomorrow, Erik.”
He offered her the same refrain before ending the call and tossing the beads across the room in frustration.
***
Naja paced back and forth outside N’Jadaka’s wing. She knew the Dora stationed there was eyeing her as if she were a madwoman as she muttered to herself while holding a picnic basket and a backpack.
“What are you even doing here?” She whispered to herself. It took all of two minutes after hanging up with N’Jadaka to realize why he had cancelled, to remember that today was his dad’s birthday. She did not even know how she remembered it, a memory so buried deep in her brain that she was shocked she was able to retrieve it. Every year on this day, Erik distanced himself from everyone and everything without a word.
One year, when they were 15, she found him at the Great Mound watching the sunset. He had disappeared and T’Challa, Nakia and Naja were sent to find him and bring him back to the palace. Naja, who knew him best, was the only one who knew where he’d be. She did not approach him at first as he sat there quietly, she just watched him. Like a creep, admittedly. But she watched him, took in every bit of his lean teenage form as her heart ached for him more than it should at that age.
Her heart broke as she heard his deep youthful voice, cracking with the strength of his sobs, offer a prayer to Bast on behalf of his parents, prayed they would come back to Wakanda soon, that they would return to him. She remembered bowing her head as she prayed for the same thing on his behalf. She had never met Prince N’Jobu a day in her life, just knew him as a traitor that most of the country hated, who was likely on the run to avoid facing the consequences of his treason. But even back then, Naja could not believe that was the full story, could not believe that N’Jobu stole what he did for selfish reasons, that he was just a traitor.
And that’s why she was now standing outside his door with a picnic basket feeling rather foolish. But resolved to do what Erik had done for her a few nights ago, show up for him. Because everyone deserved someone to show up for them in their darkest moments.
She bowed her head to the Dora who shifted to the side to allow her to knock. It only took a few moments before he swung his door open.
Naja lost the ability to speak as she took in his perfectly tone chest, the deep V that led down to his most formidable and tantalizing weapon. Her brain and the reason for her visit disappeared as a cloud of lust hazed everything.
“H-Hi.”
“Hey, everythin’ ok?” He wanted to scream at her that she should not be there. She could not be there. This was the opposite of distance. But try as he might, those words refused to surface.
“Y-Yea, yea. Everything’s ok. I just… well, I know you didn’t cancel tonight because of work. I know what… I remember what today is. Your dad’s birthday. And if you want to bury yourself in work, I understand. But I figured you could use a friend while you do it. So I brought snacks and liquor and work of my own. And I have Boyz in the Hood queued up on my tablet, which I doubt is still your favorite movie. But I do remember you mentioning your dad liked it so… I thought we could watch while we work.”
She lifted the backpack and basket in her hands as if to ask him if she was allowed inside.
This woman, he thought to himself. Something inside him wanted to break down in tears at her thoughtfulness. And before this moment, he was not even sure his body still produced those.
“Guess it’s my turn to be shocked you remembered all this?”
“Well… tell anyone and I’ll have to kill you,” she joked. “I remember everything about you too. Much to my chagrin, I suppose. So can I come in?” She asked as she balance back and forth on her heels.
Right then and there, Erik knew he had an impossible choice to make. He could do what T’Challa demanded and be the Erik that destroyed her or he could be the man he wanted to be. And the man he was and wanted to be loved this woman beyond comprehension, adored her beyond comprehension.
It was a gamble, a gamble that could cost him her and everything he wanted. But a relationship with her was worth risking everything for… war, damaging his relationship with T’Challa… he did not care. She was worth every risk in this world.
So then and there, he decided to hell with T’Challa. Fuck his orders, fuck marrying some woman he did not know because of a promise he made years ago. Even if it took every day of the next 20 years until King Bisi was with the ancestors, he would dedicate his life to finding a way out of that promise so he could be with the only woman that mattered in this world. The only person that mattered in this world.
“Only if there’s some lime cake in that basket?”
Her entire body, which was weighed down by her nervousness, seemed to lightened as she walked in past him. “As if I’d bring anything else??”
“You didn’t have to do this. I’m sorry… for canceling on you.”
Naja waved her hand. “I know I didn’t have to. Probably shouldn’t have. But I lost a bet. Besides, this is way better. What would the Wakandans say if they saw their most feared assassin at dinner with their beloved prince? We’d never live the rumors down. Can’t have anything destroying my… how do you Americans say it? ‘Street cred?’”
“I thought I was Wakanda’s most feared assassin?”
Naja tilted her head as if she had to think about it as she sat down on the giant couch in his living room. “Second… did you forget how I was beating your ass on the mat everyday?”
“You forgot what bet you lost to earn this date, baby girl?”
“Beating me twice hardly means anything when I’ve beat you no less than 30 times.”
“Touche.”
He settled on the couch next to her as she pulled out all of their supplies and poured him a drink and hit play on the movie. “Remember when we used to sneak bottles of rum from my dad’s collection?”
He let out a barking laugh. “Yea I remember you bein’ scared as fuck too. Goody two shoe ass.”
“One of my endearing qualities back then. Afraid to steal,” she threw back her head and laughed. “Oh if the 15 year old me could see me now.” She straightened up and raised her glass. “To our 15 year old selves? Maybe they be forever shocked and dismayed by our crimes and debauchary.”
“Cheers.” He chuckled, the first genuine laugh he had all day before clinking his glass against hers.
They did not talk much as the movie played and they both did their “work,” which really was stealing glances at each other and Naja commenting on the movie, which she had not seen since she last watched it with Erik.
“Can I ask you something?” She asked him as the movie credits rolled. “It’s ok if you don’t want to answer.”
“Shoot.” Erik brought the glass to his lips.
“Did you ever find them? Or at least what happened to them?”
His hand stilled. He did not know how to answer that without opening a conversation that she explicitly told him was off limits. He never talked about the truth about his parents, let everyone save T’Challa, Queen Ramonda, and Nakia believe what the rest of the country believed: that his parents had dumped him at the border and disappeared with their fortune from stealing vibranium and selling it to the highest bidder. When he thought about the real story, he found it difficult not to fall back into that vengeful 18 year old he was when he left.
“Yea,” he cleared his throat and sat up. “Didn’t have to look far, they died not long after they dropped me here.”
She did not seem deterred by the sharpness in his tone as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry. I know you doubted it back then but I… I believe that they would’ve come back for you if they could have. Would have faced up to what they did for another opportunity to be with you.” She paused. “Everyone’s fighting to get back to something. And you were worth fighting to get back to.”
Naja did not let go of his hand or break the stare between them as they gazed at each other, their work long forgotten. Erik tugged on her arm, Naja offered him no resistance as his superhuman strength pulled her gently into his lap. His hand cupped her face as he stared into her eyes and saw his future. As breathtakingly beautiful as a Wakandan sunset and sunrise, he saw everything he wanted in this world, his first real shot at happiness.
“You’re what I’m fighting to get back to. No matter what gets in my way or how long it takes. Rhoqo ukutshona kwelanga nokuphuma kwelanga ubomi bam bonke.”
Tears glistened in Naja’s eyes as she heard his words.
Every sunset and sunrise for the rest of my life. As long as she lived, she never forget those words. The words he had said when he proposed, an eternal reminder that they were two sides of the same perfect coin.
“N’Jadaka…” she breathed.
The sound of his Wakandan name on her lips drove him insane. Whether a plea to stop or continue, he could not hope to care.
Every fiber of her being, down to her very cells begged her to fall. The sea was right there, the water felt warm and safe and like everything she had ever wanted. And yet, her feet were still planted. Something still made her hesitate.
And Erik could feel it, every ounce of her that warred with the other. Every cell in her body that pushed her lips to meet his and every other one that begged her to retreat. She was not ready yet, he could feel that… see that. And that was ok. They would have time, he would make sure of it.
He forced himself to muster superhuman self control and stop himself. He pressed his forehead against hers for a moment, Naja letting out a deep exhale.
“I want…” she whispered, her voice breaking with the weight of everything she felt for him and wanted to feel for him. She wanted him so badly but she did not want to regret it tomorrow. “I want you so badly. I’m…” she lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “F-fuck if you ever tell anyone I uttered this, I’ll kill you. But I’m scared. Fucking t-terrified. A-nd I’m j-just not…”
“I understand.” he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “For as long as it takes. I meant that shit.”
“I’m sorry… I should go.” She started to move when he halted her.
“Stay.” At her weary expression, he amended. “I don’t need that. But I do need you… stay.”
Naja nodded, there was no resistance left. Erik shifted so he could lie down and Naja laid between his legs on his chest. He pulled a blanket around them and pulled her in tightly as he cued up another movie on her tablet for background noise.
“And I know… no one can know ‘n this don’t change shit between us,” Erik’s deep baritone filled her ears.
“No, this time… it changes everything,” she whispered back before closing her eyes to go to sleep.
Erik watched her sleep for almost an hour, her soft snores reaching his ears. He did not need much sleep so he merely let movies continue playing while he watched her, committing every feature on her face to memory. Once she was deep enough in sleep, Erik slid out from under her. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bed. He was surprised she stayed asleep through all of the movement, most spies he knew could wake up at mere shift of a body next to them.
However, before he joined her, he quietly snuck to his front door, easing it open. He leaned out, getting the attention of the Dora assigned to him.
“Teela, remember that favor you owe me?” Erik asked lowly, referencing a mission he and the Dora went on to recover vibranium not long after he returned, a mission in which he saved the young Dora’s life. She said she would be indebted to him, a debt he never thought he’d need to call in until now.
“Yes, my prince.”
“As far as Okoye ‘n that nigga T are concerned, you ain’t seen Naja here tonight or any other night. You got me?”
The Dora sized him up for a few minutes, Erik could tell she was weighing the pros and cons of keeping a secret from her superior and King for the prince. However, thankfully, she merely nodded and saluted him, her nonverbal agreeance to his words.
“Preciate you.”
And with that, he closed his door and returned to his bed. Tonight, he would not think of how he would hide what he was doing, tonight he would not think of how he was going to help overthrow the very monarchy he was promised to, tonight he did not think of how he was going to hide a potential engagement from the slumbering woman next to him. Tonight, he merely reveled in the feeling of Naja in his arms and the peace she brought, a night where his heart was calm and at ease.
Tag list: @miyuhpapayuh @pipsqueak-98 @injerafiend @themakingsofdion @lishabaybee @certifiedlesbianbaddie @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @dangerous-history @roguekiki @mysteryuz @shyblackgurl
***
A/N: le sigh... everybody's lying to our girl smhhhh lol so hopefully you caught the couple hints in chapter 3 that Erik was keeping some secrets. But hopefully you also caught the hints that his impending nuptials are not the only secrets he is holding back. So what do you think? How do you think this is going to blow back on him? Cause you know it will lol Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!
#black writers#michael b jordan#michael b jordan x oc#mbjordanedit#michael b jordan x reader#black panther#michael b jordan fanfic#creed 3#adonis creed#creed iii
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hOtgUy drops by to pick up his visor, and Cub viscerally regrets not googling his name before then (1/2)
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Tuesday was a big stocking day for the little shop where Cub worked, and easily his busiest of the week as he managed most of the stock, keeping track of what they had, sorting things, generally doing anything that kept him off the sales floor. The type of people shopping in a place like this tended to have fragile egos, and Cub, despite his previous best efforts, did not have a delicate touch. Self proclaimed superheroes would happily get into fights, suffer massive injuries, and generally engage in borderline suicidal behavior in the pursuit of a thrill, but say they have a big head one time, and you find out who the most sensitive members of society really are. (And she did have a big head, literally and metaphorically, it wasn’t Cub’s fault they didn’t have a helmet that fit.)
You could say he and his manager occasionally butted heads after incidents like these, disagreeing especially on how the aftermath was handled (admittedly, never well on Cub’s part, but he struggled to mask under pressure), but there was nothing either of them could do about it besides stick Cub in the back where no one could see him and pretend to like each other. She couldn’t fire him; a higher up was a family friend, and they knew Cub needed the help, and Cub couldn’t quit, because, again, money was always an issue, so the two of them just had to suck it up and deal. In the end though, it wasn’t a bad gig, not when he didn’t have to speak to people most of the time. It would just be a little nicer if his manager wasn’t always convinced he was doing a shit job.
Cub had been excited this morning for that to change, though in the flurry of handling supplies and dealing with deliveries, and having to micromanage everything, he had forgotten HotGuy was coming. The trucks had been late today, as well as a few other issues Cub had been dealing with, so he was still outside around noon, and coming back in to hear HotGuy’s voice was quite the scare. Mostly because he was so loud.
“-Oh yes! Positively delightful, knew exactly what the problem was and assured me you all would have exactly what I’m looking for. You know, I don’t often take a look around the smaller stores for the things I need; a lot of my equipment is custom made, but this place is just adorable, seriously, adorable. I’m so lucky Cub and I ran into each other! Is he here? Could I speak with him?”
His manager was clearly flustered, reasonable given that bigger names like HotGuy never stopped by smaller shops like this. It was cheaper, sure, but the quality wasn’t always there, and if you can afford the better stuff, you might as well spend the money.
“Thank you-” she finally said, “I’m sure I can get you what you need right here though, just a replacement for the visor screen, right?”
“Oh, that’s alright! Cub said he’d have it ready for me.”
Cub heard the strain in his manager’s voice, and it was quite clear the last thing she wanted was for Cub to say something rude or scare this high value customer away in some other creative way, “Cub’s very busy right now in the back, we get new stock on Tuesdays and he usually handles most of the-”
“I can wait!” HotGuy announced proudly, and Cub cringed from his place in the back. He couldn’t see his manager, but he could practically hear the strain in the silence, probably split 50/50 between bafflement that HotGuy was going to wait to be served and fear that he wanted Cub to be the person to serve him.
Probably fair, because when Cub finally poked his head out from the back, he was not ready for HotGuy to have no legs. The wheelchair itself was a sight; heavily customized to HotGuy’s colors but also full of stickers and even advertisements on the sides. Was- were those kitchen knives duct taped to the handles-? HotGuy himself was dressed in his usual costume, still wearing the cracked visor, but he had plain black sweatpants on as well, almost jarring in comparison to the rest of his intricate costume, though, more jarring was the fact there was nothing in the pant legs.
“Cub!” his manager hissed, not subtle at all, but maybe that was warranted given that his staring was just as conspicuous.
Cub jumped, scrambling to explain himself in a flurry of thoughts and stutters, but he and panic did not mix well, the resulting defensive coming out as, “He had legs yesterday-“ which was definitely one of the worst things that could have come out of his mouth, so he excused himself immediately. If he could escape out the back door fast enough, a stray truck might take pity on his plight and run him over. His manager broke the stunned silence, apologizing profusely, but she was completely drowned out by HotGuy’s laugh, an impossibly loud, barking thing. He said something, but Cub didn’t hear it or his manager’s response, though he did hear their shuffling and then- wheels? Was that the wheelchair?
“Cub?” Whatever Cub was expecting next, it was not HotGuy’s face poking in through the doorway. Probably much worse than his imagined worst case scenario, and Cub had to fight the urge to get up and run.
“Hi,” he managed instead, then, after the voices of literally everyone he knew started yelling in his head, he continued with a meek, “Sorry.” ‘That’s not genuine,’ something sneered, a mangled conglomerate of many voices, school teachers, old friends, parents- ‘Again, and mean it this time.’ “I’m really. Sorry.” Cub tried again, but it still wasn’t right, it still wasn’t human-
“It’s fine, I don’t care,” HotGuy said, far better at sounding like he meant it, “Nothing I haven’t heard before, though, usually that particular comment comes from kids,” Scar laughed, but seemed to realize pretty quickly that Cub did not find it very funny. Cub didn’t even want to know what his face was doing right now.
“I’m sorry.” That sounded better.
But HotGuy only cocked his head, something like concern dancing behind his eyes, though, it was hard to tell behind the visor. Cub didn’t even know what color they were. “Can I come in?” He sounded friendly. Cub’s voice didn’t seem to be working anymore, so he just nodded, miserable. HotGuy wasted no time doing just that, though he struggled a bit with the mess, another entirely mortifying thing to have to watch. Cub should get up. Do something about it. He didn’t, though.
“One of my prosthetics got damaged yesterday after we parted ways. CuteGuy wasn’t happy with me still, and he let me know it. The equipment is sturdy, obviously, it has to be, but there’s a lot of moving parts, and because I’m so active, maintenance has to be performed relatively often. Since one needs fixing up, might as well make sure the other is in tip top shape, yeah?” HotGuy was quiet for a moment, but Cub still couldn’t say anything, so the hero continued, looking curious, “Did you not know? That I’m an amputee?”
Cub opened his mouth to answer, but that just wasn’t going to happen, so he shook his head instead, embarrassment building. HotGuy looked entirely fascinated by that information, and there was some kind of odd open mouthed half-smile on his face, but Cub for the life of him could not tell what HotGuy was thinking. Luckily, the other wasn’t exactly trying to keep it a secret.
“I think I’m impressed. I also think I need to model with my wheelchair more. Goodness.” HotGuy stopped, plucking his phone from his pocket and looking something up, “No, that’s like- when you google me, that’s like the first thing that every website says about me! It’s what I’m known for- how-?” Cub cringed, but HotGuy didn’t seem to notice, shooting up in his chair.. Excited..? “You don’t even know how it happened! I bet you have no idea! Oh, I haven’t gotten to tell that story to anyone who didn’t already know in ages and- well, before when I told people the wounds were a little more raw if you catch my drift. Far more unpleasant- Oh!”
HotGuy was off in his own little world, and very clearly didn’t notice Cub flinch at the sudden noise. Honestly, Cub couldn’t even tell if he was looking at him.
“I’ll tell you at lunch! You’ll come to lunch with me, won’t you?”
Cub struggled to do much more than gape and gesture uselessly, and he wasn’t entirely sure if HotGuy understood what was happening, but he definitely recognized there was a problem, brows furrowed in concentrated thought. Finally, he clicked his tongue.
“I’ll give you the address! I’ll write it down,” HotGuy pulled a small notebook out of his pocket, humming to himself, before lighting back up, “And my number! Just in case you can’t make it. Or don’t want to come. You don’t have to come. But I really want you to! If you don’t come though you should text me. You don’t have to text me. But I’d really like if you texted me. Or call me! You don't have to call me. How does 1:00 sound?”
Cub stared, which apparently HotGuy took as a resounding yes, as he continued writing, just about as happy as can be. He tore the page out of his notepad then set it on Cub’s desk, patting it a couple times before turning right around with an enthusiastic wave, “Byeee!”
Cub scrambled to his feet, opening his mouth to say literally anything, but speech still wasn’t working out for him, and HotGuy was practically already out the front door. His manager was similarly speechless, but more in the normal way rather than the Cub way, so baffled, she wasn’t even wearing her signature customer service smile.
“Are you okay?” she surprised him with that, her tone far more gentle than he had expected, especially after a complete disaster. But she did look worried, and now that he thought a little harder about it, he had to guess he wasn’t looking so great. But Cub couldn’t say as much, so instead he ducked into the back room, returning with the note HotGuy had left for him.
Her eyes widened as she read it, complete disbelief evident in every feature on her face. Cub wasn’t sure why she was so surprised, he had no doubt she heard every word HotGuy said to him, but regardless, she returned the note, near silent.
“You should go.” She must have seen the distaste on Cub’s face before he even knew it was there, shaking her head, “You have to go. This- Cub! That’s HotGuy!” This was not in the least bit convincing, but his manager was a bit too distracted to notice. Honestly, he didn’t mind all that much. It was a little nice to be talked to like a friend. “Go, go on, rest up. Take as much time as you need, but if you don’t make it by 1:00 you’d better text him. Then tell me everything. He likes you, Cub!”
He wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that, so he simply didn’t.
Cub sighed through his nose as he turned around, fully intending on taking that break, but not on going to lunch. Lunch with a random famous guy was the last thing he wanted right now- god, and he’d kill for a nap. He frowned, but stopped short when he saw his desk, or rather, the little package on top of his desk. The visor screen- damn it.
It was HotGuy’s fault he had forgotten about it, but maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was Cub’s fault for making a complete fool of himself- HotGuy must have felt obligated to comfort him, surely. Embarrassing. Mortifying, even. If Cub never had to face the world again, it would be too soon.. But it would probably be responsible of him to actually give HotGuy the visor he came for in the first place. A proper apology.
He sat with a huff, eyeing the note with a creased frown. Yup, there was the name and address of the place HotGuy wanted to meet him, his number, and-
Cub dropped the little sheet of paper, then nearly fell out of his chair trying to catch it.
‘And HotGuy is a little much as far as names go, so please, call me Scar.’
#hermitcraft#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#cubfan135#cubfan#hermitfic#hermitshipping#not in this part much but in the next one#convex#cubscar#hotguy
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SONGS THAT REMINDS ME OF ENHYPEN
synopsis : random songs that just reminds me of each enhypen members
pairing : ot7! Members x fem! Reader
genre : fluff, slight angst at jay sunoo and niki’s
warning : continuing words such as : but like and cuz 💀
work count: about 200-300 per member
© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.
정원 jungwon - confess to you by LIM KIM
IF ANYONE WATCHED KING THE LAND THAN YOU WILL KNOW THIS SONG IT SLAPS
this song is just so jungwon
Just imagine High school Jungwon having the biggest crush on you
Which is so cute cuz he will deffo be listening to this song
and he would be dreaming of you 24/7 and dreaming to confess to you
LIKE ALL THE LYRICS MATCHES YOU SM
and after he confessed and you said yes
He would make you listen to this song
cuz he would literally direct those lyrics to you
ESPECIALLY THE LINE “this love is so true, sent from above.”
You just blushing at how cute he is and how much he loves you
He fr is the only one you’ve been dreaming of
you guys would just sit there and listen to this song and jungwon’s smile would be so big
and his mind would just be all the times you treated him so lovingly
He would input those lyrics in your daily convo’s as well
“babe do you know your love is a sweet dream?”
“You and your confess to you pick up lines is getting out of hand wonnie..”
“But you love it don’t my lovely lover?”
“I will always love them so so much.”
Will you ever complain tho? Never.
희 승 heeseung - bad by wave to earth
STAWP CUZ HE’S SO BAD BY WTE😞😞
I can imagine a normal human being heeseung, that works in a office in the middle of Seoul
Like his life used to be so boring until he met you
The person that makes his morning so much better and less stressful
And the person that makes him try to finish work earlier so he can go home and just cuddle with you all night long
Okay but imagine this:
He’s stressed out about the day cuz he’s about to do a pile of work again
But coffee in the morning with you and the sun
And the best part is he gets to see the view of you in his shirt
Humming to BAD BY WTE WHILE MAKING HIS BREAKFAST
LIKE HOW CAN HIS DAY BE BAD WHEN HES WITH YOU??
His heart melted at that sight
You just watching him with heart eyes as he munched on your delicious breakfast
You making silly jokes from time to time as he enjoys his breakfast
THE ONLY JOKES THAT CAN MAKE HIM LAUGH
LIKE HOW CAN HIS DAY BE BAD WHEN HES WITH YOU AGAIN
wants to stay at home instead with you
But obviously he can’t but at least his morning is always better when he’s with you and your obsession with wave to earth
박종성 Park Jeongseong - save your tears by The Weeknd ft AG
I can just see him at a club as your ex boyfriend
BUT YOUR THE ONE THAT BROKE UP WITH HIM
Cuz you feel like he deserves someone better
And when he saw you at the club with your friend
Looking all happy and that
It just made him stare at you and your gorgeous figure
THE FIGURE ONLY HE CAN TOUCH
deep inside of him he’s still hurt that you guys aren’t together
But than you caught him staring at you which caused one tear to drop out of your eye
BECAUSE YOU STILL MISS HIM HOW CAN YOU NOT
So you left without looking back
Jay felt so hurt that he didn’t even realize he started tearing up
And this man decided to follow you, passing and pushing through crowds just for you
Until he found you sitting alone in a dark hallway
He kneel down and hugged you tightly
“I know you still love me”
“I do but you deserve someone better”
“Baby Save your tears for another day because I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
oh jay what a man you are honestly..
심재윤 Sim Jaeyun - Fearless by Taylor Swift
HES JUST SO FEARLESS CODED. IDC IF ANYOME DISAGREES CUZ IN MY EYES HES FEARLESS CODED.
he would be the that American type of Boyfriend even tho he’s a Australian
He would make you dance in the rain in your cute little suburban during sunshine
I can imagine you in your little white sundress while he’s in a dress shirt, sleeves rolled up and blue ripped jeans and both of you wearing the same bracelet that blings underneath the sunset
Omg he will giggling with you while you guys stretch your arms out and spin around underneath the rain
WHILE YELLING TO FEARLESS
“BABE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE CAN GET BETTER THAN THIS!”
“IN THE STORM WITH MY BEST DRESS AS WELL!!”
He’s the type to drag you head first and kiss you afterwards
Your giggles and laughers could be heard down the road
And he would run his hand through his hair to prevent raindrops to run down to his eyes
MAKING YOU ABSENTMINDEDLY MAKING YOU WANT HIM
Your neighbors are so annoyed but they don’t even want to stop you both
Cuz you both are so fearless for dancing in the rain like this
Honestly they would capture this moment and would remember it forever
Just 2 teenage loves enjoying each other’s presence while blasting to Taylor swift UNDERNEATH a sunset and storm
성훈 Sunghoon - Heaven Sent by Tevomxntana
the song title can explain why.
LIKE PARK SUNGHOON IS LITERALLY A GREEK GOD SENT FROM HEAVEN
but absolutely ppl gotta ruin it by saying hes a dickhead in the whole company.
But to you, your boyfriend, sunghoon is sent from heaven
And at the beginning of your relationship, you promised yourself you won’t get attached to this man cuz what if he’s actually a dickhead
but do you give a fuck? No.
AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS MAN IS THE SWEETEST MOST KINDEST MAN EVER
no one deserves him.
Everyone can fuck off cuz they are liars
He would do the most loveliest thing ever, hoping your feelings for him would never decay
CUZ NO ONE HAS TREATED HIM BETTER THAN YOU
Both of you are heaven sent.
Both of you are sent by God into this disgusting society but non of you cared cuz all you need is each other
And In each other’s eyes. Both of you are the most heavenly angels to ever step on earth.
“ Angel your a ten out of ten”
“I’m I now hoonie?”
“Always from the front and back.” He winks
“I’m so done with you.”
“You will never be done with me Angel.”
선우 Sunoo - Blue butterflies by JHIN
JHIN SONGS SLAPS SO HARD
you guys are sleeping on his songs please stream Blue butterflies.
Anyways SUNOOOOO!!!!
You and him in a long distance relationship :(
Sadly. (sorry Sunoo Stan’s)
Because of his busy schedules he can’t always visit you
“I wanna see you all the time…”
“Same sunoo but you need to keep the good work up so you can see me soon okay? I love you!!”
Your words of encouragement is the reason he’s here with you rn
Blue butterflies strawberry skies filled the air as you both just lay on the grass
Until darkness covered the skies and THE STARS COVERING THE WHOLE SKY
And all sunoo can say is
“You shine like the stars.”
HOW SWEET OF HIM
he pulls you into his embrace. I wanna cry he’s so soft for you
“Everything is better now when I’m with you.”
And when is his time to go, both of you just wanna cry for hours and hours
And you always question “why did you go?” But yk damn well why
Sunoo wishing you were there with him instead of miles away from him
“Your all i need tonight..”
But trust me eventually your distance will close and you both would be sleeping next to each other. But that’s when time is right..
にしむら りき Nishimura Riki - tumblr girls by G-Easy ft CA
Niki is just so Tumblr Girls. Like the song was MADE for him
Yeah the lyrics absolutely doesn’t match niki himself but yk is just so niki vibe.
I can imagine motorbike rider Niki and you just going around in Shibuya Japan at Night
While this song blast in your ears
Your arms just around his waist as wind blew your hair
BOTH OF YOU JUST LOOK SO PEACEFUL
and all niki can think of is how much he loves you
But your relationship is not as peaceful as you think it is
Both of you will constantly walk out the door after spending the night at each other’s
Acting like you don’t know each other.
Causing the closure between you both to create distance
But moving to present time
Both of you sat together looking at the Shibuya night light from afar
“Love you and I were made of glass, we’ll we ever last..?” Niki asked
That question stabbed your heart causing tears to fall out of your eyes
You know both of you were toxic in the relationship
But at the end you hope you were mature enough to handle it.
“We will I promise.”
But sadly you both didn’t because he broke up with you
thinking other girls out there are less toxic and different.
Missing everything you said was what he regret the most
Because they’re all looking the same to him.
Besides you. You were the special one and he blew it.
taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @skepvids
taglist application form is opened on my navigation post!!
#k lables#k films#k neighborhood#🐰 filmofhybe#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen x oc#enhypen imagines#kpop#heeseung x reader#heeseung fluff#enhypen heeseung#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#jungwon fluff#jay x y/n#enhypen jay#park jeongseong x yn#park sunghoon#sunghoon x y/n#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon enhypen#kim sunoo x reader#kim sunoo#niki x y/n#nishimura riki x reader#niki enhypen#enhypen sunoo#jake enhypen#jake sim x reader
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Xehanort and Friendship
I’m such a big fan of the concept that Xehanort and explicitly Terranort do think that his friends are his power. But more specifically him abusing his friends is what gives him power.
Because when you look throughout Xehanort’s story and how far he’s gotten you see how his power is built by taking the good will, love, and acceptance that others have given him and using it for the power of evil. It’s not that he doesn’t use the power of friendship. He just doesn’t give his ”admirers” (and those that worship him out of fear) much in return.
His friend’s being his power is why he consistently is seen rubbing shoulders with others. Why he calls the organization his “Friends”, why he choses to hunt those who he has connected with in the past. He didn’t kill, maim, and later puppet around random “Nobodies” (unintended pun). He chose to hunt for people he knew intimately for years. The people he had known since he was a baby(Ventus, Marluxia, Larxene), the children he saw grow up (Riku, Ienzo), he didn’t just chose the guys next door. He chose people that cared for him too much to hurt him at first. He chose those whose hearts he could see into.
Xehanort’s dynamic with Eraqus in BBS (and the 23 year old timeskip in DR) and Terranort’s speech in KH3 was so important to his character. In KH3 quite literally says, “The chains of your friendship is what binds you” while using chains to bash them into the floor in the KH3 climax. He knows that they care too much to hurt him when he’s in BBS and Terranort. His ability to hurt them is because of how close he is to them.
In BBS, Eraqus is hopeful that he can “fix Xehanort” but Xehanort’s aware that Eraqus is attempting to do so. He completely takes advantage of Eraqus’ willingness to accept Xehanort. Eraqus’ hope for better, his savior complex is a part of his plan. I could go on for hours about how Eraqus’ savior complex and self-confidence that he will essentially talk-no-jutsu Xehanort out of his issues is how Xehanort and Eraqus end up where they are in BBS. Eraqus thinks that he can just hug the problems out of Xehanort. In fact, Xehanort barely hides his evils for a second around Eraqus, and yet Eraqus still forgives him unflinchingly. He has literally admitted to great villainy while Eraqus makes googly eyes at him at age 82! That’s some commitment to the “I can fix him” ideology.
This issue is brought to light even further in DR where Xehanort and Eraqus fight over Vor thinking about leaving the group. Eraqus tells Vor that it’s best that friends remain friends forever, while Xehanort mocks this idea wholesale and verbally tells Vor to ignore him and leave. Here, Xehanort questions the idea if being close with Eraqus is as “good” as a deal as he advertises. Eraqus sees himself and friendship as a whole, as a permanent and neverending good. Something that can fix every issue, heal all wounds. And Xehanort disagrees, seeing friendship as something that changes, and also something that can be unhealthy. He sees a neverending friendship with Eraqus as a trap, even when he is currently friends with Eraqus. When Eraqus pitches a fit over Vor drifting away as a friend, Xehanort gets very snippy, and equates being his friend as a type of imprisonment of sorts. He confronts the idea that Eraqus’ savior complex in it’s early stages is an ends up controlling and trapping his friends. (This later becomes deeply hypocritical as Xehanort quickly veers into literally turning his friends into meat puppets... but ya know). But this is where Xehanort’s opinions of friendship being a tool rather than being an emotional relationship becomes apparent.
(Don’t get me started on how the MoM quite literally talks to Xehanort about how people can love you as a type of darkness to cast doubt on Eraqus’ relationship with Xehanort, while also forshadowing Xehanort manipulating Eraqus in return. The MoM names things like jealousy, possessiveness, and attachment issues, as things that are soon to follow in their friendship.).
Xehanort, especially since his powers hinge on other’s hearts, sees love and friendship as transactional. It’s all about what he can get out of it. Sora is using the power of friendship, Xehanort is abusing it. He’s aware that these people would kill for him, die for him, even become him. He simply doesn’t care. Xehanort is very convinced of the power of friendship. He’s just selfish and knows that people can give him power, and he can give nothing in return. That’s a huge part of his martyr/God complex mess he has going on.
He is quite literally the: “I would die for you,” “You will” interaction personified.
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Can you do a Steve randle fic where the reader's dad won't let her keep dating him so they have to keep it a secret but they get found out anyway and the fic is really angsty but it ends fluffy between Steve and y/n
i would marry you in secret
pairing [s] : steve randle x fem!reader
warnings [s] mentions of : controlling parents, hatred against greasers, violence with the plot of “The Outsiders”
a/n [s] : hey… hi everyone
In Tulsa, there was an obvious separation between the Greasers and the Socs. It was hard enough living in an environment with such prejudice, but when you fell head over heels for one of the Greasers; it was even worse. Your father was a wealthy businessman man, who had already set up your life. You would inherit the money which would go to your husband, who was already decided to be one of his partners son; who was the head of the football team.
You couldn’t have cared less about his son’s ignorance, or the way he creepily sneaked up on you in the hallways. His disgusting aftershave that made you sick, and the switchblade that he kept in the back of his expensive pant pockets.
Your secret life hadn’t been known by many. How you hung around the east side more than your own. Steve Randle had been the reason why you became such a ‘rebel’ by your parents. He had treated you better than anybody, even if it began on a stigma between the two of you. You were walking through the eastside, your purse pulled to the front of your body.
It wasn’t that you were scared of walking through, it was the cold weather that made you regret wearing the dress without a pair of warmer stockings. The wispy October air sent a shiver down your spine, and the trees blew leaves onto the ground. You ran your hands over your arms, hugging into yourself.
When you were relaxed, a voice had suddenly appeared behind you.
“Hey there, pretty lady,” The voice spoke, a small twang intertwined. “What’cha doing on this part of town?” You were finally given a look at the man. A thick denim jacket, smears of grease and oil splattered on his blue uniform. His hair was perfectly swooped, and a warm smile grazed his lips.
“I don’t want any trouble. I’m just walking home.” Embarrassingly, a chitter hit your voice when you were talking. The man waved his hands in the air. “No trouble here. Do you want my jacket, you seem cold.” You weren’t able to even disagree, when his jacket was wrapped around your shoulders.
“I’m Steve. Steve Randle.” Steve smiled at you, and put his hand out to be shaken. You shook it with a matching smile on his face. He happened to walk you home, and only show you the kindness of a southern gentleman. Steve explained about his job, his family, his brothers, and told you many facts about his favorite type of car.
You undeniably began to swoon over the man. You chose to walk the wrong route home, just in case Steve showed up to walk you home. One of the days, it had happened. He was waiting for you, and small flower that had been plucked from one of the local florist stands. You took it, and Steve put it in the pocket of your handbag.
You had traded your number for the flower, and now you had been anxiously awaiting his call in the depths of your room. You shivered underneath your blankets whenever the phone rattled on your wall, and you jumped up to answer it. “Hello!” You had blurted quite loudly.
“Were you waiting for my call, doll? Can I come over? It has been awhile since you visited me.” Steve said, clicking his tongue as he finished to signify his sarcasm laced words. “Sure.. but be quiet. My parents are on a date, but I still have neighbors." You giggle once the phone is hung up against the wall.
You looked in your vanity mirror, giving yourself a quick smile and lying down back in bed. Ten minutes later, you can hear the sound of knocks against your bedroom window. You open your curtains and find Steve with a big smile crowding his face. You smile once the window is open and he attaches a small peck to the apple of your cheek. “Well hello to you too!”
Steve crawls through the window and falls against your bed. His usual work uniform was replaced with a pair of dark blue jeans, and a relaxed white tee. You couldn’t lie to his face, but he was the most handsome man you had seen in a while. He gives you a dumb smile, his pearly whites shining at you. Steve made you giddy, and made you want to draw hearts all over his face.
“I missed you.” You admit quietly. Steve’s hand goes to the heart of your face and he caresses the skin gently. His eyes capture yours, and he nods. There's bruises that litter his face, and on his nose is a dark purple and green bruise. “What happened here, love?" The name makes Steve perk up, but then sink down.
“Some Socs on our side of town were messing with me when I was doing stuff.” Steve explains, a sense of anger that pulls through his words. You give him a small frown, and put a small kiss against the tip of his nose. “It was that guy your Dad wants you to marry.” Steve’s added words makes your heart race with added anger. David had been one of the worst men you had met, and he would walk the wrong way home just to mess with the Greasers.
“I hate him.” You groaned, slapping the back of your hand across your forehead and falling against your pillows. Steve followed, putting his head against your secondary pillow. He pulled you close, his hands wrapping around your back. You giggled as he kissed you, your hand falling against his chest. In the quietly moment, you had fallen asleep against his warmth. The sound of his heart beating, and the idea that he was a portable heater caused you to doze off into the corner of his shoulder and neck.
In what seemed to be a perfect moment, a sudden rush of yelling at the sound of your father screaming at Steve. His face was more angry than anything you had seen. He had picked Steve up by the shoulder and was yelling at him to leave. “Dad! What are you doing!?” You frantically screamed, but your mother’s crabby hands had pulled you away from attacking your father’s face.
Steve caught your eye as he solemnly left, embarrassed more than anything. You, on the other hand, had your blood boiling as you huffed and yelled at your dad. However, your father would have always been right.
“Dad, I love him and he loves me! What’s so hard about that?” Your father put his hand on the table, his finger in your face, and broke the thin glass. “It is because he is a dirty Greaser! He’s trouble!” In a fit of rage, you grabbed your sweater and left the house with a slam of the door. You wipe away the tears that drip, with only two things in your mind: Steve Randle and the east side.
Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to leave with the freezing air breaking through your sweater. You walk quicker once you hear some distant yelling and the recognizable neighborhood that lived The Curtis’ home. It was where Steve would go during hard times, and it also held where his best friend was. You hadn’t ever been in the house, you had only seen him walking there or saying bye to his friends that disappeared in the small home.
You walk closer to the home, whose porch light was on and you could hear distant shouts of unhappy couples. You run up to the door, knocking against it and attempting to not freeze in the time it takes to open the door. A taller, older man opens the door. A dirty white t-shirt and baggy jeans. “Who is it!?” A shout from further away, knocks you back into reality. “Is Steve here?” The man nods, and yells for Steve to come out to the front door.
Steve walks in, hands in his pockets. You give him a small smile, and he frowns at you. “You shouldn’t be here.” He whispers once he comes into contact with your hand. “I know. But, I couldn’t leave you.” Steve pulls you forward before he kisses you while holding onto you tightly.
“Your daddy is gonna kill me.” Steve says once he pulls you back in for another round of shared kisses.
Maybe he would, but you’d rather die than be separated from Steve.
#steve randle x y/n#steve randle the outsiders#steve randle x reader#steve randle x female reader#the outsiders#the outsiders fanfic#the outsiders steve
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about the kiseia thing - im honestly more upset that they dumbed her down into a crazy yandere waifu whos obsessed with her brother. in the webtoon shes vengeful and genuinely resentful, but in the game she mostly wants to kill him cuz shes "into" that kinda thing.
also respectfully disagree - i agree that including an element in a story doesnt necessarily mean the author condones it, but in this case incest is just used in a fetishy way to waifu-ify kiseia, not really portrayed as something messed up. also i think the incest is more uncomfortable here since aguero and kiseia grew up together and they're so closely related, as opposed to like family members from distant branches hooking up with each other
I can accept not liking Kiseia’s character as shown in this event, and I wouldn’t be too surprised if the Kiseia we meet later on in ToG’s story isn’t like this
Also I guess I just learn to roll with these types of “younger sister falls in love with older brother” stories because I’ve watched so many anime. So while the inclusion of incest elements will probably squick out a lot of people, I’m desensitized.
Though I will say that to me honestly, Kiseia doesn’t come off as in love with Khun and more like she’s obsessed with receiving validation from her only remaining family member.
Kiseia is an orphan taken in by Agnes and groomed to be a murder weapon all for Khun’s older sister.
We see from this that even as a child she struggled with her self worth, that she wanted to be fully part of Agnes’s family due to the trauma of losing her own. That’s also why even though Khun states his older sister was difficult to interact with, Kiseia still bonded with her, because she wanted an older sister to love her.
So obviously these attachment issues would also affect her relationship with Khun. She trusted him, and from the above screenshots, took his opinion very seriously.
And when she saw that Khun didn’t like what she was doing, her self worth took a big hit, and this got even worse when it came out Khun betrayed his family and her trust by working with Maria, and then setting off the events that led to his older sister’s suicide and Agnes’s banishment.
I’m only halfway through the event so I can’t say any more, but to me, Kiseia seems like a very broken and lonely girl groomed to be a killer and then rejected by the one person she has left.
Of course, just because the way she’s written makes sense to me, it doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else, and people don’t need to like it either. I’m just saying that a lot of people are knee-jerk reacting to the upfront disturbing implications of Kiseia’s character without looking deeper at how this personality was formed.
#also there’s the fact that sworn enemy kiseia is meant to be an avatar for Khun’s guilt in his sister’s death and supporting maria#I wouldn’t be surprised if sworn enemy kiseia was a mix between the original kiseia and Khun’s older sister#tower of god#tog
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Okay, now I’m on a Benkei roll 🫢 what would he be like taming a s/o that’s younger than him?
*ooooooooooooh boy*
This is my thing; this is my thing! If y'all want more, I WILL GIVE YOU MORE OF THIS
TKO: Keizo Arashi x Fem!Reader
wc: 1.4k
tw: JUST FLUFF
masterlist
Keizo's fingers scroll up and down the trackpad, his eyes looking through the various pictures of women. He grimaces. Is this what his life has come to? Scrolling on an escort page in the middle of the night?
Wakasa had mentioned it as an option for companionship, but...
Is he really that desperate?
Keizo sighs and closes the browser. There's no fucking way he would give in to something like that, not now. An escort would be his last option; one he would take on his deathbed.
"You find someone?" Waka wonders in the morning, his face full of curiosity as Keizo stacks the weights on the machine.
"Fuck no," he grunts, pulling the bar down to his chest. "I'm forty-two, not dying for affection."
"Senju would disagree," Takeomi grumbles, poking his head out from the gym's office. "She says you look unhappy. And hungry."
"I'm fine." Keizo frowns even deeper, pressing his arms back up. "I don't need companionship right now. The gym's doing better than ever and--" The bell to the gym's front door rings loudly, and Senju comes in, her face full of excitement.
"How are my three favorite elders doing?" she beams with her arms flung wide.
"Just fine." Takeomi hugs his younger sister. "To what do we owe the pleasure of you stopping by?"
"Well," Senju begins, fishing her phone from her purse. "I wanted to stop by and say that I think I've found someone for our grumpy giant." Waka finds himself practically floating over to Senju, his eyes scanning her phone immediately.
"Hmm."
"She's cute," Takeomi mutters, leaning over the phone. He gives a low whistle and then turns around, shaking his head. "Didn't know they still made them like that."
"Not interested," Keizo calls out, still pressing the bar up and down. "Waka, you're supposed to be spotting me!"
"You should probably get up and spot this." Waka's quip makes Keizo huff, but he doesn't get up. I don't need another distraction.
"She's coming by the gym in like... ten minutes. So we need to--"
Waka slaps Keizo on the abs and watches his friend turn a deep shade of red. "She's coming in less than ten minutes," he echoes. "You might want to get up and -I don't know - wipe that scowl off your face."
The bar clatters back into place, and Keizo sighs deeply. "What part of not interested did you not understand?"
"You will be when she walks through that door," Takeomi shouts from the office.
"Stay out of this! You're all married; why am I--"
"Precisely why you should be listening to us," Senju advises, extending a hand to help Keizo up. "Listen, she's definitely your type. You'll get along great. I wouldn't bring her here if I didn't think you two would mesh."
"And how do you know what my type is?" Keizo wonders, wiping his forehead with a towel. "You've never met any of the girls I've dated."
"You mean the girl you dated." Waka takes the towel from his hands and tosses it into the laundry bin. "You don't have a lot of experience and--"
"And we don't have a lot of time and--" Senju adds, pushing Keizo toward a mirror.
"And we really want you to be happy, big fella." Takeomi finishes, shutting the office door. He takes his backpack and thumbs his way toward the door. "I'm heading out for breakfast. Y'all want anything?"
Various calls for food echo in the gym, but Takeomi waves them away. "Nevermind, I don't know why I asked. I'm broke." Just as he opens the door, there's a soft "oh" from the other side. Takeomi murmurs a "hel-lo" and then watches the woman walk in with wide eyes.
"That's her!" he mouths, pointing at you feverishly. Waka calmly walks around a shell-shocked Keizo, whose eyes are stuck on you.
"Oh my gosh, y/n!" Senju hugs you as well, taking in your training clothes with awe. "You look so fashionable - where'd you get these leggings?"
"The bargain bin," you tease, smirking. "Basically, a steal. So I stole them!" Senju laughs at your joke, placing her arm on yours before turning to Keizo.
"Y/n, this is the guy I told you about, Keizo Arashi." You smile and stick your hand out, gripping his for a firm handshake. He instantly notices how small it is and shudders. Size kink acting up, Keizo thinks quickly, clearing his throat and putting the thought out of his mind.
"I heard you own this gym," you begin, looking around. "Is it true South Terano trains here when he's in town?"
"Co-owns," Waka shouts from the laundry room.
"Y-yeah, he does," Keizo replies, unsure what to do with his hands now that they're not holding yours. "Comes here all the time." You nod, looking at Senju briefly.
"Well, we better get to it." Keizo frowns, and Senju gives a short "uh", looking between you.
"You're supposed to be training today. You know, on the mat." Senju thumbs toward the ring, and you head in that direction, taking off your jacket. Keizo gives Senju a brief stare, and she mutters,
"I told her you would train her! I'll pay you for the session; just go." Keizo slips between the ropes, placing his gloves on his hands. You approach confidently, ducking to enter the ring and standing opposite him.
"You ever boxed before?" Keizo wonders, offering a small smile.
"Briefly," you answer, cracking your neck and rolling your shoulders. Senju tosses you a pair of gloves, and you take them gratefully, slipping them onto your hands. "Tell me when you're ready."
"Ready," Keizo answers, taking his stance.
"No... He wasn't ready..." Waka looks down at his partner with a face full of shame.
"She said 'briefly,' Waka..."
"I heard her."
"She said briefly..." You hover over Keizo with a towel full of ice. He takes it slowly, hands shaking as he places it on his jaw.
"Sorry about that," you whisper softly, cringing. "I went a little too hard, didn't I?"
"Nope," Keizo croaks. "You did great." Your smile is worth the pain.
"I'll treat you to lunch if you want. I owe you for the knockout."
"That sounds great," Senju pipes up. "All this fighting has made me hungry."
Keizo can barely swallow the miso soup. Each movement of his jaw makes him wince, but he'd suffer it all over again with gladness if it meant you were sitting across from him and telling a horrible joke. Senju and Waka had ghosted off somewhere, leaving the two of you alone in the restaurant's corner booth.
"Listen," you muse after you'd finished off your punch line. "I know you're established, but I've had a good time getting to know you. Even if that meant my foot got to know your jaw better than most."
"I've enjoyed our time, too." Keizo tries to offer you a genuine smile that isn't marked by his wincing.
"And you know how old I am, right?" Keizo pauses.
"Senju never said."
"I'm twenty-seven." Keizo wants to fall out of his seat. No wonder you were so spry and full of life. You were a full fifteen years younger than him! "I know you're in your early forties, even though you don't look it. I just wanted to ensure you were okay with the age gap."
"I-I-I'm fine with it," Keizo states, placing a hand on his chest. "I don't see any issues with that."
"Great!" You pick up a piece of shrimp tempura. "Because I would be slightly upset if you ran off there!" You giggle, assuring you were kidding, and Keizo laughs with you.
It's almost two p.m. when Keizo walks you back to the gym. "Will I see you in the gym anytime soon?" he wonders, taking his keys out and unlocking the door.
"I think I have a standing appointment to kick your ass every Monday and Wednesday morning."
"Then I'll make sure you're on the books to render first aid for an hour afterward."
"It's a date," you grin, raising up on your tiptoes. You kiss his cheek and wish him a good afternoon, waltzing off into the crisp fall day with your hands in your pockets. Keizo watches you disappear and smiles to himself as he pulls the doors open. He almost misses how all three of his companions are mushed up against the front windows, faces making smudge marks on the glass.
"Hey," he begins in a warning tone, but Waka gives Senju 1000 yen, and Takeomi does the same. Keizo straightens up. "What was that?"
"Just a bet," Senju replies, smirking and pocketing her earnings. "You and I still got it," she adds, pointing finger guns at him. "Still got it."
#arashi keizo x reader#keizo arashi x reader#arashi keizou#keizo arashi#keizo arashi fluff#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers fluff
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About some things on my DNI + Thin Ice list…
TLDR at the bottom
Not my usual post, so I’m sorry for the sudden serious tone, but someone had mentioned a certain part of my dni that I wanted to address because I don’t wish to offend anyone and I will admit that I should have thought it through a little bit more.
I reblogged a particular post on both here and on my main (reblogging it here was a mistake tbh but considering the post had a good point, I didn’t feel the need to go back and delete it)
I log off for a bit after doing some reblogging of resources, and when I come back on I find this
The main reason that I have a “thin ice” category in my dni section is because while I may not personally agree/disagree with certain things, I want my blog to be open to everyone for resources, and I want us all to be one big community. I also do it because in the past I’ve had people attack me for not having certain things in my dni, for interacting with accounts that happened to support or not support certain things.
But here, I 100% understand where I fucked up. I added those things out of my fear of being attacked while not realizing that having those things in my bio attacks other people as well.
After I finish typing this post, I’m going back and deleting them off of my Thin Ice category. The post I reblogged was talking about how ableist people can still be disabled, and I didn’t even realize how much of a hypocrite I was being when it came to that post. Despite having my own disabilities, I was being ableist. Despite being apart of the lgbtq community, I was being queerphobic.
If anyone feels the need to unfollow, block, etc. after reading this I completely understand. I was an idiot, and I want to own up to it. I also wanna give those I’ve hurt a chance to benefit from my errors, so non-traumagenic systems, bisexual lesbians, pansexual lesbians, please feel free to promote yourself in the comments and reblogs for whatever reason. I messed up, but I want to try and fix my errors, even if it’s just a little bit.
and anyone who feels uncomfortable with me trying to fix my errors can also unfollow- I may have certain thoughts and opinions on certain things, but at the end of the day I don’t allow hatred on my blog, and sometimes even I need to be reminded of that.
TL;DR: I was stupid and had some queerphobic and ableist things in my thin ice category on my rentry, and I want to fix my mistakes
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I’m going to rant about platonic relationships, tertiary attraction and found family real quick
I saw a tumblr screenshot outlining types of found families in a strictly fandom context
And a person commented on said screenshot that “found family” devalues friendships because it’s rebranding it and friendships themselves are important and to be valued and they are valid even though their nature differs from familiar relationships – they are different, and different in nature and values, but [friendships] are neither better nor worse than familial relationships
I. Want. To. Scream!
This person was so close to getting it, goodness
Familial affection is on a different level than platonic/“friendship” affection. But you can have familial attraction and affection towards people who are not blood relatives!!
Familial attraction is a tertiary attraction (meaning outside of sexual & romantic which are socially still considered “the attractions(tm)”) and, admittedly, some definitions of those get wonky – some people may group them under platonic, some may group them differently
But come on! Familial attraction. That’s literally “an attraction to have a familial aka. family-like relationship”. And even without knowing of this as a valid and stand-alone form of attraction … it’s not that hard!
A found family is not “just a friend group” (aside from that “just friends” is problematic in itself). A found family is literally “this person is like a brother to me”, “is like an aunt to me”, “I want this person to be like a nephew to me” – how does that translate to friendship?!
I’m sincerely sorry but as someone oriented aroace who has experienced other types of tertiary attractions also… there is a difference – and a huge one – between “this is my best friend” and “this person is my sibling” ; even between “this is my alterous/queerplatonic love” and “this is my relative”
Sure, maybe I am misinterpreting things, maybe I’m misinterpreting how family is supposed to feel… but conflating “found family” with “group of friends” is… 1) wrong 2) pissing me off
As for other tertiary attractions… there are a bunch and most of them are pretty unique and may seem unimportant “they don’t need their own word” but I disagree.
Domestic attraction for example. That goes further than familial attraction but also doesn’t. Domestic attraction expresses I want to live with someone, I want to view this person as a home to return to, I want this someone as part of what is my home. Part of my domesticity.
I’m sincerely happy to have that expression. To know what domestic attraction is.
Also, as someone who doesn’t feel “at home” or “with family” around my parents… I need the concept of chosen family because otherwise I hardly have one. Which isn’t to say none of my blood relatives are part of my chosen family. My biological cousin is absolutely part of my family. But I daresay the familial attraction towards him is more that I view him as a big brother. And I have an aunt I met when I was 13, who I’m still “friends” with a over decade later. And yes, I go to her with things I wouldn’t tell my cousin’s mother.
Chosen family is such a beautiful and powerful concept – something inherent to the queer experience even
And that doesn’t deserve to get devalued down to “you mean friendship” because the blood ties are lacking
#familiar attraction#familial attraction#tertiary attraction#rant#rant post#oriented aroace#aromantic asexual#tertiary attractions#tertiary affection
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Lots of my spoilery thoughts on The Power of the Doctor! It was jam packed episode so there was a lot of things to have opinions on!
Overall, it was fun! A big action-packed blockbuster filled with cameos and fan-service, and that’s the most I was hoping for really! For me it was easily better than all of Thirteen’s season finales, and both of Sacha Dhawan’s other appearances as the Master. It feels like the plot held together better than usual too, mostly because basically all the nonsensical parts of the plot can be explained as ‘The Master did it for fun and laughs,’ which is entirely believable with this incarnation. I’ve always enjoyed Chibnall’s fun runarounds (eg. Dinosaurs on a Spaceship) more than any other Doctor Who eps he’s tried, and that fits with this ep, which really feels like a celebration. That makes sense since it’s the centenary special, something that I kept forgetting about after I had something else to call it because I just don’t care about the BBC itself jslkjsdfj.
Honestly, when I first heard the rumours that the Doctor was regenerating into David Tennant at the end I was like ‘I wouldn’t like that if it happened’- but because the rest of the ep felt like a cameo-filled madcap celebration, it actually didn’t feel out of place at all! I disagree with people who say the scene undercut Whittaker leaving (because to me it felt more at home than most other post-regeneration scenes do in their eps) or Gatwa arriving (because if he gets more than a 30 second filler scene in the coming special, it’ll be technically more of an introduction than any other new Doctor). But I can understand people not liking it from the point of view of Tennant just being brought back for the PR, or that he’s going to attract all the worst kind of fans. I’m just lucky that I have an easy time ignoring those type of people I guess.
What with all the cameos and returning characters, I was surprised to see that most of them got substantial things to do! Chibnall or someone else must have taken note of how bad that issue got in The Vanquishers. I’ve seen people say that the Cybermen attacking UNIT plot wasn’t necessary, but it made sense to me, and was positively vital compared to a lot of the plots in the last third of Flux. Though I can’t believe Dan got written out 10 minutes in, presumably to help avoid the problem of too many characters?? Can’t think of any other coherent reason to do that. He’s hasn’t done much or had much plot his entire time as companion and this was the funniest possible way to have him leave. I laughed when I started a rewatch and saw John Bishop get one of the top billings in the opening titles.
The only person who really badly fell victim to the unnecessary character syndrome was Vinder, who also had the least reason to be anywhere near this episode. He’s one of my favourite minor characters from the era so I was happy to see him, but literally the only thing he does is threaten to shoot the Master because he isn’t the Doctor’s companion so he’s allowed to. The most hilarious thing is that this is the one and only Thirteen episode that the Doctor explicitly gives a companion permission to use a gun, for exactly the reason Vinder uses it. And Yaz was right there. No one tell Vinder, he’ll be crushed. In any case, Vinder also gave Thirteen an excuse to put a welding goggles on, so he’s excused.
I was sad that Bel only got the smallest possible reference, since she was such an important part of Vinder’s character in Flux and I love her too. And even more so with Ryan Sinclair (who’s still probably my favourite of Thirteen’s companions)! Felt so weird that he was missing while all of Thirteen’s other companions were there- I hope it was because his actor couldn’t/didn’t want to, because if I found out Chibnall arbitrarily just didn’t want to include him I’ll be mad. Grace O’Brien didn’t get a reference either, which wasn’t strictly necessary but did irritate my liking of bookends in a series, considering she was such a huge part of Thirteen’s first episode.
But I did love who did return. Graham and the Martin Doctor got the biggest cheers from my brother and I while watching the episode, I was so hoping they would make an appearance. Shame that it was an AI Doctor rather than the real thing, but it was still an absolute joy to see her appear for what I assume was the most amount of time since her first episode (which is still a massive highlight of Thirteen’s era).
When the AI Doctors turned up I did worry it was going to be The Vanquishers all over again, but they worked really well as simple plot propellant and fan service with Tegan and Ace rather than completely overshadowing everyone. Weirdly the Five and Tegan conversation touched me a lot more than the Seven and Ace conversation, even though the latter is a relationship that means more to me (although Seven referring to Ace as his child was so touching). It was maybe because of the episode aggressively ignoring all EU (surprisingly even the SJA retcon of Ace running a charity, which doesn’t get a mention), which I saw coming and didn’t really bother me, but still made the Ace and Doctor relationship a bit less meaningful to me when they have SO much more history in whichever branch of the EU you want to accept. Also so many authors seem determined to say that Seven and Ace left on bad terms huh. I think they liked each other actually, and Ace went to Gallifrey with good memories.
The plot itself of the episode was great fun! Can’t wait to see all the Game of Rassilon fans to say that their podcast did it first, which is very fair jsdlkjf. So much of the plot seemed to be solely devoted to the Master getting to dance to the song Rasputin while dressed as Rasputin, and it was 100% worth it. Sacha Dhawan is just as fun as I could have hoped in this episode, and honestly steals the show. Him becoming the Doctor was a wonderful plan fit for a final episode like this, was executed very well, and given so much delicious flavour by the Master’s line “don’t let me go back to being me.” Plus I saw someone point out that it’s basically just the Master’s plan from the TV movie, which I’m always here for. And the “dress for the occasion” reference was icing on the cake. (Although here’s a nittiest of nitpicks: the Master described forced regeneration as “the ultimate sanction for breaking our laws,” when it clearly wasn’t. When they did it to the Doctor, it was after the Doctor bargained them down, and in the same episode they straight up erase some dudes’ timelines.)
Unfortunately the final showdown and mortal wounding of the Thirteenth Doctor was one of the episode’s weakest scenes imo with lots of missed potential. The quaranx is a generic mcguffin depicted as an unremarkable CGI light ball, and could’ve been so much more. Sounds like a lot of people including me drew a link between its child form and the Timeless Child- why didn’t it stay in its child form later to reinforce that link, which was a heck of a lot more visually striking anyway. The Doctor telling the creature to destroy the cyber-moon, something it could’ve done all along, could’ve been so much better framed as the Doctor convincing a child to embrace their power or fight their fear. And the Master suddenly taking control of the random laser beam wasn’t built up to either, which feels like something that should’ve been established considering the Doctor dying is rather an important part of the episode. Think of the Doctor being mortally wounded because she wouldn’t give up trying to save a little girl, even though she knew the risks.
Anyway, a touching end to Thirteen’s Doctor. I can’t honestly say I was moved to tears by her departure; I always felt like Jodie Whittaker could’ve done more with better scripts, and the fact that she was avoiding confiding things in Yaz this episode shows she didn’t too much over her lifetime (I laughed Tegan being faced with that awkward repression, because her Doctor was exactly the same). Although Yaz and the Doctor being so upbeat and hopeful at the end felt like a great pay-off to all this Doctor’s talk of hope for the future, and probably added to the reason I wasn’t so sad myself. I’m similarly touched but not awfully upset over Yaz leaving, sorry jskldfj (her showing off her firearm training sure is one way to end her run of avoiding any police discourse during the late 2010s/early 2020s, thanks Dr Who). But it was emotional to see them both agree that it’s time for Yaz to leave, because continuing just wouldn’t be the same for either of them. It’s nice that all of Thirteen’s companions have left because the time is right, after the RTD and Moffat eras seeming to think that the only possible exit was tragedy.
Anything else? Obviously, seeing all the past Doctors was a real treat, and Seven and Eight bickering made everything worth it. Like I said, the episode felt like a celebration, and the next episode being part of the 60th anniversary makes it feel like the celebrations just keep going! Only thing I have to be bitter about is that the 50th anniversary was an emotional tale about restoring Gallifrey, and now we’re going into the 60th with it destroyed again (still easily the worst story decision in Thirteen’s era). And it’s a shame to wait a whole year for more Doctor Who, but I’m really hoping that after that the waits between seasons will become more regular.
#Doctor who#my posts#This is long teehee. Lots to talk about though!#thirteen#yaz#master#tegan#ace#dan#vinder#etc etc etc#my thoughts
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why the kraang in rottmnt: the movie work so well (for me)
(obvious spoilers fir the movie; if you haven’t watched it, go do so)
i’ve been ruminating on the idea of this post for a while, so instead of doing any actual writing, i have decided to spitball my thoughts on this subject
if you would like to read, go ahead. if not, okay? then don’t (/lighthearted)
i’ve seen/heard the argument a couple times from people who i’ve watched the movie with or have watched the movie that they didn’t like the kraang as villains, and/or how they were implemented
to this i say everybody is entitled to their own opinion, and if you don’t like them as villains just off of vibes, that’s fine
it gets dicey when people further elaborate. while i’m sure there are many reasons why you could dislike the kraang, but the idea that they are “bad villains” feels a bit... untrue?
so i want to explore why
to be clear, this isn’t a call-out or anything of the sort. i’m talking about a bunch of pink brain aliens from a franchise called ‘the teenage mutant ninja turtles.’ it’s not that deep (/lighthearted)
from the people i’ve talked to, the usual justification for their feelings is that they feel the kraang are one dimension. evil for the sake of being evil.
and that’s not untrue.
the kraang have one big motivation: to overtake the world. maybe they foster anger for being locked in the prison dimension, but that’s more of a ‘as well as’ type thing
but i don’t necessarily think that this is bad in the context of the story.
quite a few people who say this to me haven’t watched the series, so i can almost understand why they think this. (i’ll maybe explore that more later though.)
but to the rest, i can only assume their thought process revolves around evaluating the kraang (1) by themselves, instead of as part of a larger narrative, and (2) based off of the prevailing idea in modern media that villains must also be entirely dynamic characters with their own set of nuance.
so i’m going to explain why i disagree with both of these.
number one: evaluating the kraang as an individual part of the story instead of within the context they inhabit.
if you were to isolate the kraang as villains, i understand why you would come to the conclusion that they’re lacking. warmongering aliens hellbent on destroying the world, for no reason other than honor. where have we seen that before?
oh yeah— everywhere!
but i take issue with this. one, in defense of this, the kraang aren’t just your general baddie archetype. they do have underlying nuance.
we see in the scenes with raph (and it’s later parallel with leo) that the kraang operate off of a different moral framework than that of our heroes.
it’s not just their perspective. it’s their societal background. the strongest are those on top, the weakest do not last. a very hierarchy-based viewpoint
beyond that, though, is the fact that making the kraang more nuanced wouldn’t work within the context of the movie.
there just isn’t enough time to set something like that up, and it would only complicate and overinflate the narrative, distracting from the main themes and underlying message
the movie isn’t about them, not really. they play an important part. but they’re more of a catalyst, to force our main characters (notably leo) out of their comfort zone.
they are proving that something has to change, by taking away the sense of security (which raph is representative of) that both we and the characters had come to rely on, and in doing so, stripping back the layers to reveal the cracks more glaringly than ever
even if the writers were able to pull of a sympathetic/maybes take on the villains, i think it would be... extraneous?
the reason the kraang work so well (in my opinion) is that they are nothing like we’ve seen before. all the previous villains, including shredder, have been “fun”
you have your typical “villain-of-the-week” types (like warren and hypnotic), your bigger yet still “fun” anti-hero types (big mama abs baron draxum, who are both more nuanced) and shredder, who despite being very scary, is stilll nuanced
he’s the father of karai. his reasons for taking on the suit of armor (given to him by what we can assume are the kraang) were motivated by good. at the end, after he’s defeated, he joins karai in what constitutes their afterlife.
so we’ve had our fair share of nuanced villains. what we haven’t had?
the kraang. villains with no chance of reasoning with or goodness. villains that do not care about fun and entertainment. they are here to take over the world, and if you get in the way, they will kill you.
it’s why the movie hit so hard. why the beginning scene was even allowed to exist. if there were and peaceful option out f this, the boys would have taken it.
that’s why there can’t be.
now, this next part is much more meta, so if you don’t care, feel free to skip.
i don’t want to get too deep into this since i’m just writing my thoughts as they come to me, but it would feel amiss not to mention the bigger picture behind this criticism. why do people think this?
within the writing community, there has been this shift. actually, within the artist communities at large. it comes with post-modernism, which is a whole topic on its own.
basically, post-modernism is a response to modernism. it shows the darker side to the modern world, and the negative side of the ideas presented in the previous movement.
it’s the start of this nihilistic idea that nothing really matters, and things don’t work out like they do “in the movies.”
with it comes a level of nuance. basically, consider perspectives that you wouldn’t have before. like the villains’.
but like all movements, eventually, it has to come to an end.
if you want to know more, there is this really fascinating video essay by thomas flight titled something along the lines of “why do movies feel so different now?”
it’s very good, but basically, it explores the shift between post-modernism and this new “thing” we’re going into: meta-modernism
a name which, given the fact we had to use “modernism” for what is now the past, feels very fitting.
(it does worry me about future naming conventions a little— what’s next? neo-modernism?? lmao)
now, that’s kind of in its own vein, but the point is this: villains don’t have to be over-complicated.
if you have the time and narrative to spare, go for it. explore the villains and anti-hero’s to your hearts intent.
but it’s important to know when something is too much (like the length of this text post analyzing the villains in a movie titled ‘the rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.’)
don’t shy away from having a sterotypical big bad. if you’re a good enough writer, you can pull anything off. you just have to handle it in a certain way.
not every bad guy has to have seventy-thousand layers of nuance, and the rise movie is a great example of a narrative that benefits from keeping it simple.
it had a story to tell, and it did it wonderfully, enough to send fandom-altering ripples through (in my opinion) the tmnt franchise as a whole
when a movie can pull people n and make them fall in live, despite their original feelings about the show, while also wowing the fans of said show? you know it’s good.
and you have to admit: the rise kraang are scary as fuck /pos
i could get more into why the kraang work exactly as well as they do, with the surrounding context and how they changed rise, and what i do and don’t like about the movie, but this is long enough, and i’m already not going back to fix my typos, so. i’ll end it here
if you did somehow slog through all of that and would be interested in my thoughts, let me know,m. who knows, maybe i’ll actually end up doing it maybe! (/lh /j)
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