#y’all i’m autistic and adhd with ptsd
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guys i’m… reading books?? very occasionally over the last decade, i’ve found something interesting enough to read, but this isn’t like that. i just want to read the way i used to when i was young, so i’m just grabbing books off my shelves and reading them. i read the hunger games last night, then today i read a small book of short stories by kris straub and part of a book of hp lovecraft’s short stories that i’ve never even opened. i’m 29 and i’m reading like i’m 16 again. it’s fully crazy
#y’all i’m autistic and adhd with ptsd#i’m a gifted kid burnout and all i read is fanfic#(which is not at all a bad thing but it’s different y’know?)#my therapist thinks it’s because i’ve been focusing on myself and my needs#which i haven’t done in… ever. i’ve never done this.#but suddenly it’s like maybe i don’t need everyone me to be perfectly happy for me to be happy#like maybe it’s time for me to step back from the big brother/substitute father figure and let my siblings handle their own lives#it’s not like i can tell them what to do i’m just stressed constantly worrying about them#like they’re adults#but even as i’m typing this a big part of me still disagrees#so it’s definitely gonna take more time but this is a good sign
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july is disability pride month so i’m gonna let y’all in on some stuff
quite a few of the grumpus dating game protagonists are disabled :3
including:
Evelle completely blind in their lazy eye, and is mostly blind in their other eye. Their guide dog, Glitter, is with them during their date with Chandlo
Mystiff is also half-blind, completely missing one eye
Indigo is colorblind, specifically tritanopia.
Willah has a stutter
Brisson has chronic pain
Caullie, Willah, and Poppi are autistic
Indigo, Echlo, and Hollie have ADHD
Mystiff has PTSD
I’m doing my very best to research and write these correctly and appropriately for the situations. If anyone has little tips about these, I’ve already found a lot of basics and guidelines for writing characters who have these, but any bit to make sure I do it right helps. I’m autistic and have ADHD, so I feel confident in my abilities with them with what I know, but I’d love little tips.
Happy disability pride month!
#the grumpus dating game#evelle leeksprout#mystiff magicyear#indigo frillylace#willah pondwater#brisson braveburn#caullie flowerfield#poppi lawsoda#echlo mayrain#hollie pinewood
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y’all need some facts for ozzy
ozzy facts since I don’t have wiki fandom.
Ozzy is the daughter of Barnaby.
ozzy is genderfluid asexual biromantic, she is a great horned owl. She mostly goes by she/her but goes by any pronouns.
ozzy is not her real name. It’s Ozomuz
her middle name is Octave because she love music. She plays the piano.
ozzy is canonically dating jack (canon by Isabel (me) and her boyfriend)
ozzy is autistic! She loves to collect knickknacks! She hoots and flaps her wings, she also has a habit of biting her talons (based of me). She also nibbles on her scarf.
ozzy also has adhd (she takes medicine/also based off me) she also has anxiety, ptsd, and schizophrenia.
She is canonically the youngest In the family (born a month before Astro but Same year)
ozzy has 3 older siblings! (Based off my three friends in my friend group.) Astro, yara, and little hampter!
each of the siblings have a social media account!
ozzy has TikTok! She also is aware of the player in bbu.
this is her TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ozzytheghostowloffical?_t=8l76k2F163a&_r=1
Isabel (me) is the voice actor for ozzy
she has trypanophobia, she hates loud noises, flashing lights, and crowds (based off me)
when she gets overstimulated, she’ll become silent and overwhelmed (based off me and Barnaby) she also cries blood and gets scribbled pupils when she’s having a meltdown.
ozzy still has pellets and ghost waste (it’s like mortal waste but it’s ghost goop)
Unfortunately, ozzy can’t read but she can spell. She has to wear contacts
she canonically knows sign language. (She has a friend named cookie who’s deaf.)
she loves to pick on the barnaboos with a fan.
Her grave is in the yard next to Astro’s, yara’s, and little hampter’s grave. It says “I hate that guy so much, I should’ve trusted him!” signifying she actually used to be friends with her predator (she was SA’D and murdered by someone she used to trust, it was one of her classmates/ also based off my story)
it is canon that she HATES schilloette.
whenever Astro, yara, and little hampter are hanging out, Barnaby and ozzy sings together, it’s like their own little party since ozzy is scared of crowds (parties have crowds.)
her favorite color is aquamarine.
she loves to eat metal pipes. She is addicted to apple juice.
she loves to make owl noises.
her favorite band is AJR (based off me) her favorite songs are touchy feely fool, birthday party, bang, maybe man, and I’m ready.
She bothers her siblings by yelling “I’m so fresh you can suck my nuts” little hampter joins her all the time since Astro and yara don’t know the meme.
ozzy loves to collect glossy duck figurines (the small ones)
she can sing 7 octaves.
She can change her voice from a feminine voice to a more masculine tone.
her birthday is 4/26 and her death day is 3/16/2022 (along with Astro’s death day)
She knows almost everyone in her universe where she lives with Barnaby.
she can speak Ukrainian along with little hampter
she enjoys watching the CupHead Show.
she is a excellent dancer (she feet shuffles)
ozzy has horrible handwriting
ozzy can open portals and hop dimensions like her dad.
she loves to hang out with her fans
that’s all :)
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Ngl I added warriors as to mean characters in any media lol but warrior cats characters also work 👍
OH /MY/ FAVORITE AUTISTIC WARRIORS OHHHHHHHH I have a few
Miorine Rembran, Suletta Mercury, Asa Mitaka, and Edelgard Von Hresvelg
Miorine masks heavily, Suletta is pretty much unmasked for the most part, Asa doesn’t realize she’s masking
Edelgard discovered she was masking her autism a little bit after the war because her wife is also autistic and was like woooahh I thought the sensory issues were mostly due to trauma and then Byleth goes oh no yeah you still have ptsd. But you’re also autistic, El and Edelgard simply looked out their beautiful window and went wow all amazed due to how autism explains so much about herself
Miorine autism is very dear to my heart too, Suletta also has ADHD she’s the audhd fiend
And just look at Asa I’m not explaining that y’all know
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So, it is the disability month
And I’m feeling bad because I didn’t know about it until yesterday. What is wrong with me? Not only that but I posted only about bad things, and I feel like I’m sending bad vibes to this month.
So, in this post I’ll talk about movies, series and books with disabled characters that I watched/read. It is not that much, but that’s what I have.
Books:
Percy Jackson and the Olympians, by Rick Riordan. Adhd and dyslexia.
Magnus Chase, by Rick Riordan. Deafness
Six of Crows, by Leigh Bardugo. Ptsd, chronic pain, adhd, gambling addiction, and Wylan’s disability that is like dyslexia but exagerated.
Not if I see you first, by Eric Lindstrom. Blindness.
She is not invisible, by Marcus Sedgwick. Blindness.
Anything but typical, by Nora Raleigh Baskin. Autism.
The bride test, by Helen Hoang. Autism
The kiss quotient, by Helen Hoang. Autism.
Mockingbird, by Kathryn Erskine. Autism.
Wonder, by R.J. Palacio. I’m not sure it he is disabled actually.
Dancing on broken glass, by Ka Hancock. Bipolar.
Crave the Mark, by Veronica Roth. Chronic pain.
Our chemical hearts, by Krystal Sutherland. Not sure but she uses a cane.
Turtles all the way down, by John Green. OCD.
OCDaniel, by Wesley KIng. OCD.
The hunger games, by Suzanne Colins. Ptsd, deafness and an amputee.
Movies:
How to train your Dragon, amputee.
A silent voice, deafness.
Rango, an animal without an eye.
Aspergers are us, a documentary about the first comedy group with only autistic people.
Run. The first terror movie with an disabled actress in a leading role.
Series:
Avatar the last airbender. Blindness, a wheelchair user, two amputees.
The dragon prince. Deafness, an quadriplegic, blindness, narcolepsy, amputee.
The legend of Korra. Wheelchair user, blindness, ptsd.
Love on the spectrum. This is a series that follows real autistic people trying to find love.
Community. Autism.
That is it folks. May y’all have a good rest of Disability Pride Month.
Best regards,
Me.
Ps. I’m not saying that the representation on these books, movies and series are flawless.
#i know that this is not exactly my place#disability pride month#disabled characters#disability#please someone help me with my characters#i'm not disabled
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Identity first language would be someone saying they’re autistic instead of saying they have autism, and someone saying they’re disabled instead of saying they have a disability. There’s a few mental illnesses that have identity first language, for example:
“I’m depressed” vs “I have depression”
“I’m schizophrenic” vs “I have schizophrenia”
“I’m bipolar” vs “I have bipolar disorder”
“I’m dyslexic” vs “I have dyslexia”
“I’m obsessive compulsive” vs “I have obsessive compulsive disorder”
But what would identity first language be for illnesses like ADHD, DID, DPDR, BPD, Tourette’s, PTSD, anxiety, and a lot of other mental illnesses?
I’d like to know what y’all think and what you all think identity first language would be for the illnesses that are part of you
#identity first language#adhd#autism#autistic#did#dpdr#bpd#tourettes#depression#anxiety#ptsd#dyslexia#borderline personality disorder#dissociative identity disorder#depersonalization derealization#mental illness#mentally ill#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#post traumatic stress disorder#ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#dsm5#mental health#schizophrenia#schizophrenic#bipolar disorder#bipolar#mania
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3? Always love a good rant 😊
3. rant. just do it
Oh shit, you wanna let me go off? Prepare yourself!!! (Remember kids, Tumblr does not replace therapy!!)
This post will also be a good opportunity for me to update my followers on what the hell has happened to me over the last year. So as Mario would say... HERE WE GOOOO
Okay so most of y’all might already know this story, but it impacted me a lot and I still get angry about it. I graduated from university after a shitload of trials and setbacks due to my adhd among other things, but I managed to push through academia and graduate with a bachelor of science in psychology. With this I had plans to stay in my field, but I also was an absolute idiot and had no idea what I was doing when it came to choosing. I just kinda picked job adds that suited a psychology degree and that’s it. I was desperate to find a job, as all recent graduates are.
Fast forward a few months, I land an interview with an organization I would come to refer as “the hellscape”. It was an ABA clinic. I wish I knew what that was before I took the job, because what you read about from actual autistic adults and their trauma is 100% true, and I am FURIOUS practitioners and insurance companies even promote it. I later found out the CEO wasn’t even a therapist, let alone held a degree in psychology, behavioral studies, or WHATEVER and was actually a fucking tattoo artist who jumped on the ABA bandwagon for money, but that’s another story.
So I was a newbie right out of college with no prior experience working in this field, and they hire me. That should have been an instant red flag. Their “training” was less than a three month thing, and if you didn’t make it three months, or they didn’t like you... YOU GOT FIRED. Guess what happened to me?? I got fired!!
Why? At first I thought it was because I wasn’t a good learner. Years of being in college pumped the idea into my psyche that I was a dumbass because of my ADHD, so I thought I was just an idiot. I came home from this place actually having traumatic based ptsd breakdowns (the BAD kind) because not only was I exposing myself to my phobias (*ahem* vomiting) but I was being told to ABUSE KIDS!! I got fired because I didn’t want to do what they wanted me to do!!! I could go into all the details, but if you want to ask me in a private message you can. To put it simply it was HORRIBLE, and I cry to this day what ABA does to kids. I don’t even want to hear people say shit like “not all ABA” because not only do these places guilt trip you into getting your kid and taking your money, but what they are doing is literally causing kids to grow up with ptsd!!! If you tell me “but kailey, it’s scientifically based” I’d say fuck off and reply “it’s also scientifically been shown that kids who are put in ABA therapy are at HIGH RISK of developing ptsd, and being abuse victims!”
The spring of 2019 was understandingly the WORST experience of my life, and from my wisdom I implore any of you going to college, whose about to graduate, to deeply research not only the company you are applying for, but what they do. The only lesson I got out of working there was that “normal” people hate autistic kids, and in extension adhd kids. They hate people like me. We are things that need to be “fixed” because our stems, hyperfixations, special interests etc. are “weird”. Absolutely no job is worth your mental health, and morals.
After this I went on for the next year and a half looking for another fulltime job. I thought because I got fired I would never be able to make anything of myself. The rest of 2019 sent me into a bad depression, which I’m still struggling with. It wasn’t until December of 2019 that I got an interview with Girl Scouts. I worked as a grunt, 10 dollars an hour, part-time outreach worker for 8 months from there, going to middle and high schools to talk to girls not only about girl scouts, but the importance of sisterhood, acceptance, love, mental health, physical health, and much more. My boss ended up being the kindest woman I’ve ever met professionally, and when the pandemic happened, and the outreach staff got laid off, she sent my name up to HR, and I got promoted as a Volunteer Manager, who oversees over 4 communities in the southern-Houston area, consisting of over well over 800 troop leaders, and community leader volunteers. I make a decent salary, and am getting benefits soon.
I absolutely believe that I went through all that shit so my eyes would be opened, and not only could I be a better ADHD ally to autistic individuals, but use my desire to help people of all backgrounds into opportunities that could potentially change their lives for the good. I have only been working as a manager for GS since early June, but I feel welcomed, supported, and appreciated by my coworkers, boss, and director of Volunteer Experience. On top of it, they care about our health, and I’m working from home. I was given a laptop and everything!
Things do turn around. It might not be how you imagined, but it will turn out how you need.
Send me an unusual(ish) ask <3
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Six Baudelaires AU, Part Three: Reference Guide
A quick guide for everything I intentionally referenced in The Six Siblings, That’s Not How the Story Goes.
{ao3} {tumblr} {part one reference guide} {part two reference guide}
Without further ado…
Chapter One / Prologue - in which the Baudelaires get lost at the train station
“We’re dead as heck.” Nick shrugged.
Considering the younger age of the children here, they use much lighter swear words.
Klaus had his hands over his ears, and he looked on the edge of tears. “It’s too loud! It’s too loud!”
Klaus is overstimulated.
They were in some kind of shoeshop, and a ginger man glanced at them. “Oh, hello!” he said. “Are you- where are your parents?” [...] “When did you see them last?” [...] “Why don’t you have some snacks? It’s all vegan, if-”
The shoemaker that helps them out is Drumstick from File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, who is noted to have made money repairing shoes.
“Lilac is almost-nine,” Klaus said, “And she’s got two braids cause she wants to be like Wednesday Addams on TV.”
The Wednesday Addams reference should be obvious, though I should point out that Lilac wants to emulate the 1960s Wednesday, which is the one she’s seen on TV; the older show once again makes the time period ambiguous.
“Oh my God.” Beatrice was saying. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.”
“Kids, are you alright?” Bertrand asked, the second they pulled away. “Did anything happen?”
Pretty clearly, the Baudelaire parents were terrified that VFD had abducted their children while they were separated.
“No! No, we’re gonna be fine!” Lilac said quickly. “We just need to find Klaus and Nick. I… I’ve gotta find them. I’m in charge. I’ve gotta find them-”
Ah, Lilac’s already got Anxiety™.
Rest of the fic under the cut.
Chapter Two - in which Violet saves everyone’s asses
No major references in this chapter.
Chapter Three - in which Sunny cusses quite a bit
“Their species can completely freeze over in cold temperatures.” Solitude assured him. “So they may stop moving, almost look dead, but they’ll be alright, and they’ll unfreeze when we get somewhere warm. We’ll have to catch them up on whatever happens.”
Babbitt’s based off of a wood frog, which do freeze in low temperatures.
Also to note: by this point in the fanfiction, Solitude no longer uses babytalk, and instead speaks in full sentences.
Chapter Four - in which the Baudelaires join the Snow Scouts
“Oh, yes.” Klaus said. “Those snow gnats behaved like Violent Frozen Dragonflies.”
“Guys…” Nick whispered, but none of them heard him.
Nick is not a fan of VFD at this point, but his siblings are too busy trying to get help from this scout that they don’t immediately notice his discomfort.
As her story continued, Nick pulled on Klaus’s sleeve, gesturing that he wanted to talk, but Klaus shook his head; the other Snow Scouts would notice them leaving.
Trying to tell Klaus something about VFD.
“I mean it.” Nick shook his head. “Things can’t ever go back to the way they were. Even if one- or both- of our parents is up there, and they shove Olaf off a cliff and take us home… it’s not going to be the same. We… we know too much.” His siblings remained silent, processing this, as Nick wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “They won’t protect us.”
Nick knows how VFD recruits its “volunteers”; his fear is that their parents are alive and consented to them being recruited, and will just turn them over to VFD.
Chapter Five - in which Nick gets to climb something again
She hmmed, brushing her bangs out of her face as she considered what she could make with all of this.
Sunny already has long hair that she’ll need to tie back while thinking, like her big sisters.
Sunny held out the mug of orange juice, and said, “Aurantiaco,” which meant, “Chip away at the juice until you have shavings, so I can make orange granita.”
“Aurantiaco” is derived from the Latin adjective “aurantiacus”, meaning “orange.”
Chapter Six - in which Sunny makes a signal
Quigley gave her a smile, and then looked back down, as the Baudeaires crowded around him- all except Lilac, who was still staring at the smoke. “Well, we’ll have to go back through the Vernacularly Fastened Door, down the Vertical Flame Diversion, hike the path the Snow Scouts are taking- and they might notice we’re gone by now so we’ll have to come up with some excuse, Duncan always said you could never go wrong with an exit pursued by a bear-”
A reference to a famous stage direction from William Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale.
Chapter Seven - in which Lilac goes feral
Nick bit his lip and pushed a charred novel back onto the shelf, before moving to scratch his arm.
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM MENTION
Once again, Nick’s arm scratching occurs whenever Olaf or his troupe are mentioned.
Klaus walked over, too, and he pulled his siblings into a hug. “We’ll protect each other.” he said. “Okay? No sacrificing ourselves, no kidnappings, no separations. No more.”
Klaus really wants to make sure Lilac doesn’t try to trade herself, like she tried to do with Nick.
“Lilac, seriously, I can’t breathe-”
“Then suffocate.”
A reference to the popular meme:
“We hate to interrupt!” came Lilac’s voice, and Violet and Quigley turned to see her and the twins run back into the kitchen, “But we found something!”
Lilac: Y’ALL BETTER NOT BE FLIRTING IN HERE
Chapter Eight - in which the Baudelaires raid the fridge
Solitude looked up. “Sure, hon.”
A reference to the meme:
“I was making them an anniversary present- a map of all the places they’d traveled.” Quigley sighed. “And I never got to tell them that I don’t…” he hesitated, and then said, “I mean, Duncan and Isadora came out to them, but I never told them that whenever I was doing astronomy class and called myself a space ace…”
Violet laughed, and Quigley flinched. “No, no, I’m not making fun of you, it’s a good pun, I’ll have to make sure Nick knows it.”
Quigley and Nick are both asexual.
“I think my parents found out when I told them I wanted to marry both Elizabeth and Darcy.” Violet smiled. “Lilac and Nick teased me about that for years. I don’t even know if they remember now.”
Quigley stared at her. “Holy shit. Vi… I said the same thing.”
A reference to Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.
Violet is bisexual, Quigley is biromantic.
Nick slid against a half-collapsed wall, screaming into his lap, hot tears springing to the edge of his eyes and streaming down his face.
TRIGGER WARNING: PTSD, SELF-HARM
Nick goes away to have a panic attack without his siblings worrying about him; it’s also explained in this segment how his scratching is him desperately trying not to slip into a flashback.
Chapter Nine - in which Lilac and Nick are very pissed off
“Nocere!” Sunny said, which meant something like, “I’m alright, they haven’t done anything too bad.”
“Nocere” comes from the Latin verb “noceo”, meaning “to hurt.”
“Uncus!” “The hook-handed man made it so I didn’t freeze.”
“Uncus” is the Latin word for “hook.”
And then she asked, “Senio?” which meant, “Where are the others?”
“Senio” is the Latin word for “six.”
“Nosra,” Sunny said, which meant, “A man with a beard but no hair and a woman with hair but no beard; they’re arsonists who burned down the Headquarters.”
“Nosra” is “arson” spelled backwards.
“Coquus.” Sunny said. “I can do that. There’s enough ingredients to make spinach rolls in the trunk, including an eggplant that’s about as big as I am.”
“Coquus” is the Latin word for “cook.”
“I know, Vi! I know what they’ll do to her, what they’re probably already doing to her!”
Obvious reference to Nick’s time as a captive, but subtler reference to the fact that Olaf tortured him with the information of what he’d do to each sibling in turn.
“Yes, she is!” his voice broke. “I was helpless! I thought I wouldn’t be, but I was! And she’s a baby! I was almost thirteen!” Tears streamed down his face, as he pushed her again. “I was almost thirteen, and I was wrong!”
Reference to a similar line spoken in every All the Wrong Questions book.
Chapter Ten - in which Nick spills some Bitter Tea
Title is a reference to Kit’s quote, “Tea should be as bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword.”
“Sure.” Nick said. “We can be Volunteers who want to recruit our innocent little baby. They’ll believe that.”
A reference to VFD recruitment tactics.
“Isa had a huge collection of what me and Duncan called ‘goth poetry.’” Quigley said, smiling. “She likes to recite, too. Verbal stim.”
Isadora (and all the Quagmires in my headcanons) is Autistic. Nick has ADHD and also stims with recitation.
“It’s not. Snicket’s real. And he…” Nick shivered. “Let’s just say he’s definitely real. Maybe even still alive.”
“He’s real and he fathered my oldest sister.”
That’s when they heard the crash, and Esme’s scream. They all fell silent for a second, and then Nick let Quigley go.
An intentional combination of the Book version of this scene - where they decide to warn Esme- and the Netflix - where she traps herself.
There was a flash of recognition, and then she smirked. “Well, well, well.” she said. “If it isn’t Beatrice’s little angel.” Nick’s hand flew to his necklace, as his glare intensified. “Fancy seeing you here, I thought you were supposed to be smashed at the bottom of the mountains.”
Something Olaf called him in Chapter Fourteen of Part Two; Nick was very close to Beatrice, whom Olaf and Esme both despise, so you can bet they took a lot of their anger on her out on him.
“Fancy seeing you here.” Nick said. “I thought you were supposed to be somewhere in the second circle of hell, but I guess you can’t have everything, can you?”
In Dante’s Inferno, the second circle of hell is the circle of Lust.
“Why he’s here doesn’t matter.” Nick said, and then he smiled very coldly and said, “What matters is you’re our hostage now, so I’d suggest you shut the fuck up and do what we tell you to do.”
Was going to make this more obvious in the text but decided against it, so here’s a fun fact: this is something that was said to Nick during is captivity. He’s getting a lot of joy out of saying it to Esme.
Chapter Eleven - in which Carmelita gets adopted
Nick took a deep breath, and then said, his voice breaking, “Don’t act like I don’t know what you’d do to her. If you have laid a single fucking hand on my sister, there will be hell to pay.”
Once again, a reference to Olaf torturing Nick with information on what he planned to do to the other Baudelaires.
“Why are you recruiting us, too?” Colette asked, peering from the net. “We already work for you.”
Changed from Fernald to Hugo, Colette and Kevin in order to explain their absence in TGG.
Esme glared at him. “We don’t need that ugly girl. Having an infant servant was fun.”
TRIGGER WARNING: CSA MENTION
Esme knows about Olaf’s attraction to Lilac/Violet and is jealous, instead of being, you know, disgusted and horrified.
Carmelita just smiled and gave Esme a hug. She turned towards Olaf, starting forwards, and just then, Nick thrust Solitude into Violet’s arms and raced ahead of her, pushing her back.
Even though Nick hates Carmelita, he doesn’t want her suffering like he did.
Chapter Twelve - in which Lilac is a Disaster Lesbian
“No- she can curl up inside a diving helmet! Aye! The helmets have a tiny door on the neck just for such a purpose! Aye! I’ve seen it done!”
Though this doesn’t happen in-fic, this did happen in the original book lol.
“Actually,” Nick sighed, laying his head on Klaus’s shoulder as Soli wriggled around to try and get a good view of the captain, “He’s the researcher, I’m an… well, I…”
Nick’s having an identity crisis brought on by the PTSD; he’s not sure who he is anymore.
“Come on, Lilac will be fine in a minute.” Nick said, elbowing Klaus. “She just needs to time to adjust. You know. Like Sappho.”
Sappho - a famous lesbian poet.
Chapter Thirteen - in which I bang my head against a table because I have to pay attention to Widdershins
“No, no, we do!” Fiona looked ecstatic, and Lilac let out a squeal as Fiona grabbed her hands. “One of our previous crewmembers, the one who later turned out to be stealing information on VFD headquarters, she stockpiled a shitton- oh, sorry, I mean a lot of coffee.”
The “spy” may-or-may-not have been an anti-VFD Ellington Feint...
“Now, I’m sure you have lots of questions.” Fiona said as they walked.
“Definitely.” Nick said. “Number one, how d-”
A reference to the meme/quote from “The Office” (US) 4x11:
Chapter Fourteen - in which the Baudelaires encounter a Great Unknown
“Let Violet work on the wheel,” Klaus suggested, “And maybe Fiona can help Lilac with the telegraph.”
These kids are gonna get Lilac a girlfriend if it kills them.
“Don’t worry,” the captain replied, “We’ll find a spouse for the others, too! Aye! Perhaps we’ll find your long-lost brother, Fiona! He’s much older, of course, and he’s been missing for years, but if Klaus can locate the Sugar Bowl he can probably find him! Aye! He’s a charming man, so one of the girls would probably fall in love with him, and then we could have a double wedding! Aye! Right here in the main hall of the Queequeg! Aye! I would be happy to officiate! Aye!”
“Okay, well,” Nick said, as everyone stared at each other incredibly uncomfortably and he finally made his way to stand beside Klaus, “That’s not going to happen, for a number of reasons. First of all-”
First of all, Klaus is gay.
Second of all, Fiona is gay.
Third of all, Lilac and Fiona are the ones flirting.
Fourth, everyone’s too young to get married.
Fifth, Nick is aromantic.
Sixth, “your older long-lost brother” is not a good phrase to throw around to a group of children who’ve been trying to escape a man who tried to marry Lilac.
Seventh, your children are not fucking prizes to hand out???
Eighth, what the fuck dude.
Chapter Fifteen - in which Lilac and Fiona are Gay as Hell
“I mean, you could call them King stropharia. I just like the scientific names. They’re fun to say.”
“Oh, that’s completely valid.” Lilac smiled. “I learned Russian when I was younger just because the boys read Anna Karenina and all the names were fun to say.”
Autistic verbal stims!!
“Lentinula Edodes.” Fiona said, smiling at some fungus growing on a hardwood log. “Also known as Shiitake Mushrooms.”
“Shiitake?”
“Don’t start.” Fiona giggled.
It sounds vaguely like “shit.”
Lilac and Fiona returned to the dorms very late, arms linked together as they chatted about a book they’d both enjoyed, about another sugar bowl whose contents were actually very well known.
A reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
Nick, meanwhile, was passed out on a chair near the door, almost having fallen over; Lilac recognized this position quickly, from the many times he and Klaus or Violet would sit at the bottom of the stairs waiting for their parents to come home late at night. “He was waiting for us.”
Nick was waiting up to talk to Lilac, probably to tell her about the Snicket Thing.
She carried him to a bunk, lowering him onto it. “Go back to being five years old, okay?” Lilac whispered, reaching over to grab a blanket. “We’ll lock you in the closet again and then make ice cream towers.”
“Lock you in the closet” is a reference to the one-shot.
Ice Cream towers are a reference to the prologue of part two.
Lilac sighed and pulled the blanket over him. “You’ll be okay. You want me to sing?”
All the references to Lilac singing someone to sleep are reference to the song “Asleep”, performed by Emily Browning, Movie!Violet’s actress.
“Good or bad cry?” Lilac shut her eyes. “Both.” she admitted.
Chef’s Salad.
Chapter Sixteen - in which the Crew goes swimming
They heard what sounded like a very suspicious watery noise, and Nick said, “If this submarine is flooding, I’ll take one for the team and die first.”
Reference to this line from Part One, Chapter Four: “Do you think if one of us died, the rest’d get transferred somewhere else?” Nick asked, hanging upside-down from the rotting couch. “I’ll take one for the team.”
“Nobody’s dying.” Lilac sighed, not looking him in the eye.
Nick’s lowkey suicidal remark scared her quite a bit.
“How about some of us stay here and do more research,” Violet suggested, squeezing Nick’s hand, “And the rest of us look for the Sugar Bowl? I can stay with Nick and try to work with the submarine. Nick, maybe you can dig through books and see if you can find anything on the Gorgonian Grotto, or the Great Unknown, and read it to me while I work.” [...] He’d found something that seemed to be filed under the Great Unknown, but it was probably misfiled as it just talked about a tearoom and a roadster.
Probably my most blatant reference to Movie!Klaus’s actor, Liam Aiken, narrating the All the Wrong Questions audiobooks.
“Ekab!” Sunny said, which meant, “I can stay here and cook!”
“Ekab” is “bake” spelled backwards.
“I’m sure someone did, aye.” Widdershins waved his hand. “Whoever got assigned the job. Perhaps R, or her daughter, they may have been nearby at the time. Or Larry, aye! We weren’t told about who was in charge of you, just that we needed to document information and track the Sugar Bowl!”
A reference to Jacquelyn (the Duchess of Winnipeg, making her either R or her daughter) and Larry Your-Waiter following the Baudelaires in the Netflix series.
“Don’t you worry, Nicholas! Everything’s for the Greater Good!"
While Widdershins usually calls him Nick, he slips up here, much like Poe always does; Nick hates being referred to as Nicholas.
“Besides, VFD wouldn’t abandon you! Aye! You’d be a great volunteer! You’re a dedicated researcher! Aye! You’re a saint! Aye! You’re an angel! Aye! You’re a-”
Nick stared at him in horror, and then said, “I have to go!” and took off running.
Nick was already put on edge by this victim-blaming conversation, the revelation that multiple people could’ve helped him, his siblings leaving, the VFD cult stuff, and Widdershins’s constant bullshit, but the use of the word “angel” sets him off the edge; it reminds him too much of being referred to as “Beatrice’s Little Angel.”
“Okay, so, I found a box of rubber bands.” Lilac sighed, sitting atop a chest. “And half a gun, a broken mirror, what might be a microphone, and a scattered notebook with sketches of some kind of snake.”
Solitude peered over her shoulder, her arms full of bottles. “I don’t recognize it.” she said sadly. “Also, it’s not a snake. It’s got legs, see there?”
Lilac found sketches of the Bombinating Beast.
Chapter Seventeen - in which Violet doodles
“Precisely.” Lilac said. “It’s something that’s not a choice at all. Our Mother used to give us Hobson’s Choices. She’d say, ‘Lilac, you can dust the furniture, or I can play polka music all night.’”
A reference to Lemony Snicket’s dislike of polka music in File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents.
“She’d do that with the others, too.” Lilac recalled. “Violet could clean her room or we’d stand in the doorway and sing Row Your Boat, and Nick could be nice to guests or be made to read that third book about those kids in a maze, and Sunny could have a bath or a pink dress.”
A reference to The Maze Runner: The Death Cure by James Dashner. I hated the entire series, but the third book was the worst.
TRIGGER WARNING: Following references for Chapter Seventeen discuss Nick’s self-harm in detail.
She ran a hand over her ponytail, and then she said, “Nick, I will be right back, but you have to promise not to lock the door.”
She is scared he’ll lock her out and continue self-harming.
As soon as she was out of Nick’s sightline, she buried her head in her hands, struggling to remain calm. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Help him now, freak out later. You need to help, Vi. Just keep moving.
Violet knows freaking out in front of Nick will just make him feel worse
Do the scary thing first, get scared later.
“No come in!” Sunny shouted. “Surprise!”
Sunny’s preparing Violet’s cake.
“Nodnaba,” Sunny said, and Violet heard her sliding from the counter. “He and Widdershins stepped out a moment; they’ll be back soon.”
“Nodnaba” is “abandon” spelled backwards.
Widdershins and Phil have “stepped out”, and either right now or very soon will be abandoning ship.
“Crayola,” Sunny said, which meant, “There’s a whole box of markers right here, for writing labels on cannisters. Can you bring them back when you’re done?”
Very obvious reference to Crayola art supplies.
“Alzatadispalle,” Sunny said, which meant, “Eh, fine, I don’t care about this submarine much anyway.”
“Alzata di spalle” is Italian for a shrug.
But she swirled the marker- a light blue color- around her brother’s arm, until there was just a jumble of color. Then, an idea finally coming to her, she took a black marker and drew some squiggles above it, mirroring the shape of their Uncle’s prized snake, the Incredibly Deadly Viper. It felt like a lifetime since they’d seen him.
A reference to Ink swimming through the sea at the end.
Violet took his hands, squeezing them softly. “When you feel… feel like you want to scratch without an itch, I want you to take these markers and draw where you… where you want to hurt. Do that instead. It should help. And if it doesn’t, I want you to tell me, okay?”
This is a legitimate coping mechanism for self-harm; drawing on skin with pens or markers.
Violet waited until he met her eyes, and she admitted, “About two years ago, I asked Father why he had pen drawings on his arm.”
Bertrand dealt with depression and self-harming tendencies, as well. Violet was the only kid who knew, and only because she asked.
Chapter Eighteen - in which Solitude catches a cold
“I found a newspaper scrap.” Lilac said. “I, uh, read a bit. Maybe we could discuss what we’ve read while we eat.”
She read the stuff about Fernald starting the fire.
“Like… ‘poached egg’ means ‘half the battle.’” Klaus said. “Remember when Nick used that metaphor and we punched him for it?”
A reference to a tangent Lemony went on in this section of The Grim Grotto.
Soli nodded, passing Klaus the wasabi and Lilac two cannisters, and soon they put on their diving helmets, suiting up for their return journey. Solitude hmmed as Fiona helped her put her helmet back on, saying, “Sand’s inside, I think.”
The spores.
“Senso-orario,” Sunny said, which meant something like, “I fell asleep in the kitchen, and when I woke up, Phil and Widdershins still hadn’t returned, and now I can’t find them anywhere.”
“In Senso orario” is an Italian term for “clockwise.” “Widdershins” means “counterclockwise.”
Chapter Nineteen - in which Olaf is a dick
“Ha ha ha heepa-heepa ho!” came a villainous laugh from the hallway, and within a few moments, Count Olaf entered, dressed in a similar suit of slippery material, only with a portrait of Edgar Guest instead of Herman Melville. “Tee hee tort tort tort!”
“No, no,” Violet looked up, giving him a glare. “Don’t do that.”
A reference to me not wanting to write Olaf’s villain laughter for like three chapters.
He stepped closer, putting a hand on Fiona’s chin. Lilac gasped and ran forwards, slapping his arm away. “You must be Fiona.” he said. “Why, you’re all grown up! The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle.”
Nick shot up his head, giving Olaf a glare that could have killed him. “Get away from her!”
OLAF 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 CREEP
Lilac and Violet glanced at each other, and then around, trying to spot an escape route. This, however, was a mistake; Olaf figured out very quickly what they were planning, and before they could do anything, he reached forwards and ripped Nick out of Klaus’s grasp.
Once again, Olaf knows the kind of effect he has on Nick, and how protective of him the others are, and uses this to his advantage.
“My henchperson will simply torture the information out of you.” He smirked down at Nick, who was shaking uncontrollably. “Isn’t that right?”
Nick didn’t respond, barely keeping himself from sobbing.
Nick’s been captured again, with his siblings. Olaf is taunting him, heavily implying that he’s going to follow through on his threat to torture Nick’s siblings in front of him before killing him.
“Umore,” Sunny said, which roughly translated to, “God, that’s a mood.”
“Umore” is an Italian word for “mood.”
“What did we tell you, you little beast?” she hissed. “You can’t get away from us.”
Most of Nick’s worst trauma came from “punishments” from when he tried to escape, which is why he panics whenever they’re about to be caught.
“Holy fuck,” said a girl at the oars, “What the hell is wrong with you all?”
Not really a reference but I just want to point out that none of these recruits have any context for this so they’re probably just. seeing all these crazy shits saying whatever they want
“I’m getting tired of this.” Olaf said, waving his sword and gesturing at Nick. “You all get to see the first brig, it’s deluxe, as it comes with a noose. I think we should put this one in the second brig for-”
A reference to Netflix’s The Vile Village: Part Two.
“I think,” Olaf said, pressing his sword against Nick’s throat, “We should put those two little rebels in with our little Nick.”
Nick finally started to cry, tears streaming down his face as he almost collapsed, and Violet shouted, “You bastard! Leave them alone!”
Once again, Olaf’s planning on following through on the threats that scared Nick so badly. Violet, the only one who knows about what Olaf threatened him with, is the first to start panicking.
Chapter Twenty - in which Lilac leads a jailbreak
The title itself is a reference to Chapter Sixteen of Part One: in which Solitude leads a jailbreak.
Her younger brother finally pulled away, but only to run off to the corner of the small brig, where he leaned over and vomited onto the floor, barely keeping his own balance. Lilac jumped to her feet and dragged him towards the wall, as he shook more and clung to her arm. [...] Nick shuddered beside her, and he finally choked out, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
Nick knows exactly what Olaf’s threatening, and he’s falling back into a pure traumatized state; he doesn’t think they can escape, he thinks he’s going to die while Olaf torments his siblings, and nothing is going to stop him.
“I…” Lilac slid onto a hard bench, where Nick sat beside her and refused to stop clinging to her side. “I glanced at the locks on our way in. They’re ordinary enough pin-tumbler locks, so- hold on a moment. Nick, Nick, please-”
A reference to a repeated phrase in When Did You See Her Last?
And then Lilac quietly sang, “Pretty when the window blows, I love my tree in autumn… Like I love my tree in summer, like I love my tree in winter… They put me in a room, and I thought of you in autumn…”
She shut her eyes, humming the next line, and then she picked up again. Fiona kept working on the lock, and Nick kept clinging to Lilac, terrified to let go, and she kept singing.
“Pretty when you sing me a new song in autumn, or a new song in winter, or a new song in summer…”
The song is “Pretty When The Wind Blows”, sung by Emily Browning, Movie!Violet’s actress.
The line she hums is one that would definitely not cheer Nick up - “And I’m sad I won’t see you again.”
Violet leapt in front of her siblings, and Klaus reached out to grab Sunny, who honestly didn’t look too worried.
Sunny is friends with Fernald, she knows he won’t do anything to them.
“We could pretend the Great Unknown showed up and is about to eat everyone.” Violet said.
“I’m sorry, do you have a small black statue that can imitate its call?” Fernald said.
“Why would I-”
A reference to Violet and Klaus’s escape in Netflix’s The Grim Grotto: Part Two.
A reference to the Bombinating Beast statue from All the Wrong Questions.
“Smelled like horseradish.” Sunny nodded.
Sunny, the chef, would remember.
Chapter Twenty-One - in which Fiona is Volatile
“I-” Nick stuttered. “I know TS Eliot.”
“Macavity,” Sunny said, which meant, “Wasn’t that from your musical phase?”
A reference to a song/character from Cats the Musical, based on a poetry book by TS Eliot.
“I’ll make this simple.” Olaf smiled. “I could torture you until you tell me, or we can trade information- or a lack of information, if you so prefer.” Then, in a sickly sweet voice, he called, “Nick?”
[...] “We don’t make deals with bastards.” Lilac crossed her arms.
Olaf smirked, eyeing her in a way that made her incredibly uncomfortable. “Interesting choice of words, my dear Lilac.”
Nick sat up, horrified, as Olaf took a step closer to his oldest sister, and then he shouted, “It’s in the kitchen!”
TRIGGER WARNING: CSA MENTION
Nick is terrified of Olaf hurting/assaulting Lilac, as well as outing her as Snicket’s daughter to everyone.
Sunny sighed and said, “Cruciatu,” which meant, “Can they kill us now?”
“Cruciatu” comes from the latin verb “crucio”, meaning “to torture.”
“I’ll be fine. If we get caught, we have a potential escape plan that involves a seaside town, a train, and a vineyard.” Fiona said. “And releasing a bunch of wild new recruits to perform chaos.”
Firstly, a reference to the Thistle of the Valley train that goes out of Stain’d-by-the-Sea.
Secondly, a reference to Netflix’s The Grim Grotto: Part Two.
As she moved slowly towards the controls, Violet at her heels, Nick curled up on his chair, and he whispered to himself, “But they were fucked up in their turn, by fools in old-style hats and coats… who half the time were soppy-stern…”
He hugged Solitude very close, shutting his eyes and trying not to think about everyone who had left. “And half at one another’s throats.”
The poem later recited by Olaf in The End - “This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin.
“Mr Poe,” Klaus said, looking from the taxi to Poe, “Have you ever heard of a Hobson’s choice?”
“You can either get in the taxi, or go with Mr Poe.”
The woman smiled at Lilac, as if she’d asked the right question.
Another All the Wrong Questions reference.
Chapter Twenty-Two - in which Kit cannot drive
“So,” Nick said, kicking his feet and glancing down at Soli, “Are we in agreement that we are ‘fucked’, a word which here means, ‘holy shit’?”
Obvious reference to Lemony Snicket’s way of defining words.
They looked to each other, thinking hard. “Well,” Lilac finally said, “In the few minutes we’ve known her, Kit Snicket has broken at least nine safety laws, driven into a hedge, and seems intent on recruiting us to spy for a secret organization.”
“I like her.” Violet decided.
“Me, too.” Klaus added.
“Same!” Sunny said.
A reference to similar lines in Netflix’s The Penultimate Peril: Part One.
“Mother said she purchased it during intermission.” Lilac said. “She said it was the most interesting time she’d ever had at the opera, and she never wanted to forget it.”
“I’m sure it was interesting.” Nick muttered, curling up a little.
Nick knows about the murder.
She moved behind Lilac, tying back her hair for her. “You look just like your father.” Kit sighed, not noticing the flinch Nick made as he reached for some food to pass to Soli. [...] “Really?” Lilac asked, smiling a little. She’d never told that she looked like her parents.
She looks like Lemony.
Violet and Nick shared a quiet look, one that their siblings didn’t quite understand, but the two of them read perfectly.
Violet and Nick, after Widdershins’s shit, are very anti-VFD.
“That’s fine.” Lilac assured her, reaching for a cup. “I like my coffee bitter.”
“That is surprising.” Kit said absent-mindedly, still looking through papers.
Considering Lilac is Lemony’s daughter, and Lemony doesn’t like coffee (All the Wrong Questions), this comes as a surprise to Kit.
“That’s why you’ll be together.” Kit said, putting her hand gently over Nick’s. “I’ve received reports on your progress, Baudelaires, and while I haven’t been able to reach you, I have seen that you take care of your own.” [...] Kit gave them all a reluctant and sad smile, and then repeated, almost to herself, “You Baudelaires take care of your own.”
A reference to a line from When Did You See Her Last?: “We Snickets take care of our own.”
Chapter Twenty-Three - in which the Baudelaires enter the Hotel Denouement
Nick bit his lip, thinking about everything. VFD. The secrets. The Sugar Bowl. That reminded him of a book Lilac read him.
“We’ll live on the moon.” he said quietly, his voice almost blank. “And we’ll have flying horses.” God, he wished he was still young enough to believe that.
A direct reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
When it was time to go in, Klaus and Lilac immediately threw their hands over their ears.
Overstimulation.
Exactly six bells were ringing- the extra bell, 371, 547, 674, 781 and 954.
371 - Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) Education and Social Sciences.
547 - DDC for Organic Chemistry; Colette’s mission involves her sneaking in here.
674 - DDC for Lumber processing.
781 - DDC for Jazz is 781.65; Ellington’s career has something to do with jazz.
954 - DDC for India and neighboring countries; it’s an Indian restaurant.
Chapter Twenty-Four - in which the first three bells ring
The woman smiled, and while Lilac did not recognize the white coat or black uniform underneath, she did recognize the woman standing in front of her, even though she wasn’t bending in any unusual positions. [...] “You see, I am a brilliant chemist, as you can tell from my outfit, but I’m afraid some of these fumes have gone to my head, and I’m having trouble recognizing some words here.”
A reference to Cleo Knight, the brilliant chemist from All the Wrong Questions, who only wears black-and-white to honor the family ink business.
“I told you they’d judge us.” Kevin said. “I should’ve just called up my old gangmate.”
“She wouldn’t have gotten here in time, she lives on the other side of-” Hugo began.
A reference to the theory that Kevin is Kevin Old from File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents; his “gangmate” would be Florence Smith, who had a special interest in reading and thus have a large vocabulary.
Lilac narrowed her eyes. She recognized the chemical compounds- her and Violet had gone through a celebrity crush phase on a chemist about three or four years before- but she was having trouble figuring out what they combined into. “What is this for?”
Another reference to Cleo Knight.
He doodled the shape of a pegasus on his arm, beside the moon. He remembered that book. What else had Merricat thought would be on the moon? Rose petals. He could draw roses next.
Once again, a direct reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.
“Can I help you, concierge?” Hal asked.
“Um.” Nick froze a moment, panic clutching his chest.
You’ve been caught! You’ve been caught! You’ve been caught!
Once again, Nick is immediately put into a panic by being caught, due to his trauma from his captivity.
Chapter Twenty-Five - in which the next three bells are answered
The door swung open just as Klaus stepped back, and he saw Charles exit, blinking over at him in a bathrobe. “Sorry,” he said, “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to call someone just to take me down the hall, but my eyesight isn’t what it used to be, and I’ve recently developed a phobia of optometrists.”
This entire scene is based on a scene that had to be deleted from the Netflix adaptation due to Rhys Darby (Charles) being stranded because of a hurricane during filming. It can be read here.
“Don’t step on the crack, or you’ll fall and break your back!” Soli sang, laughing a little as she jumped down to Room 781, trying to imitate Babbitt’s hops.
While this is a slight variation on a popular children’s game song, it’s specifically a reference to the scene between Ducky and Littlefoot in The Land Before Time.
The woman looked at her very, very carefully, and then said, “It’s alright. That’s a fake, anyway.”
“Fake what?” Solitude turned to look at the statue, as the woman knelt to put it back. “It looks like a snake, but there are those little claw-shapes there, suggesting hands.”
“Well, it’s a replica, made by my foster-brother-in-law’s sister-in-law. Just in case we need to switch out.”
“Switch out what?”
The woman glanced down at Solitude, smiling and brushing the young girl’s hair back; it had fallen a little from her hat. “It’s a long story, and you probably have work to do. I’m sure you have more important things to get to.”
The woman is clearly Ellington Feint from All the Wrong Questions; she is still very into Jazz music (hence her room), and may-or-may-not have access to the Bombinating Beast statue.
Her foster-brother-in-law (Kellar)’s sister-in-law is Ornette Lost, implying Ornette married Lizzie Haines.
Solitude blinked. This woman couldn’t know her; Soli didn’t recognize anything about her, except the record currently playing. She hesitated, and then pointed to the record, saying, “That’s a pretty song.”
The woman smiled slightly. “It is, isn’t it? Do you know the name?”
“Do you?”
The song is “Solitude” by Duke Ellington and Louis Armstrong; aka Ellington’s song in All the Wrong Questions.
“Really?” the woman sighed. “Okay, sweetheart, you run along. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find my wife before she can fistfight Geraldine Julienne in the lobby.”
Her wife is Moxie Mallahan, a journalist who would definitely get kicked out of the hotel for fighting Geraldine Julienne.
“Plumber,” Sunny said, which meant, “Yeah, but she writes those shitty articles from The Daily Punctilio about us, so she deserves it.”
“I thought that was Ms Poe.” Soli said confusedly.
A reference to Katherine Plumber, the journalist from the musical Newsies.
A reference to Eleanora Poe and Geraldine Julienne being combined into one character in the Netflix adaptation.
“Klaus Louis Baudelaire, are you suggesting that we have not been having a good time?” Nick said.
Klaus’s middle name is taken from his actor, Louis Hynes.
“I mean,” Nick said, considering, “The whole ‘VFD’ thing totally explains that weird-ass letter they sent us from Europe.”
“What?” Lilac narrowed her eyes.
“You remember?” Nick said. “When they went to Europe for, like, two weeks, and sent us that fucked-up letter about how they loved us and that even if life sucked we’d always have each other and all that bullshit?”
Lilac, Violet and Klaus groaned. “Oh, fuck, you’re right!” Klaus said.
“That makes so much sense now.” Lilac said.
A reference to “The Letter That Never Came” scene from the 2004 film.
Chapter Twenty-Six - in which the harpoon is fired
The Baudelaires sighed, and then Nick said, “Yeah, a little suspicious, isn’t it? Your parents burned to death the same night VFD saw fit to drag you all out.”
Highkey reference to the theory that Volunteers kill the parents who don’t want to give their children up for recruitment.
Violet nodded grimly, while Lilac and Klaus gave Nick careful looks, and Solitude and Sunny gasped quietly. Dewey scanned him with his eyes. “You would get along with Ernest.” he said finally.
The implication here is that Ernest joined the firestarters partially due to speculation about their parents’ murder, or at the very least, Ernest is incredibly critical of the way VFD is run.
“You can’t rely on associates.” Count Olaf said. “More comrades have failed me than I can count. Why, Hooky and what’s-her-face double-crossed me just yesterday and let you brats escape, and then stole my submarine!”
“Good for her.” Sunny said, almost unfazed, too furious at Olaf to feel much fear at the moment.
A reference to the meme from Arrested Development:
“How do you know us?” Lilac asked, putting an arm around Violet.
The man looked at her sadly. “That’s the wrong question.”
A reference to All the Wrong Questions.
Chapter Twenty-Seven - in which Nick finally spills
“Diviso?” Sunny asked, which meant, “What if they try to split us up?”
“Diviso” is a Latin adjective meaning “divided.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight - in which Everything Goes to Shit
The title is a reference to many of my other fanfictions: In the Stranger Things Superhero AU fic Shatter: Pirouette in the Dark, Chapter Nine was titled “Everything Goes to Shit”, and Chapter Thirty was titled “I already used the title ‘Everything goes to shit’ but I need to use it again”, and people thought that was so funny that it became a running joke in basically all of my fics.
“Lilac Emily Baudelaire.”
“Violet Malina Baudelaire.”
“Nick Liam Baudelaire.”
“Klaus Louis Baudelaire.”
“Solitude Theodora Baudelaire.”
“Sunday Theo-dora Bau’elaire!”
The first four children have their middle names from their original actors- Emily Browning, Malina Weissman, Liam Aiken and Louis Hynes.
Solitude and Sunny’s middle names are both Theodora, to further confuse people as to what the S stands for. See: S Theodora Markson, All the Wrong Questions
Nick took a moment to respond. “E-Explorer?”
Identity crisis! Getting a bit better though.
“He murdered…” Lilac bit her lip. “He murdered Jacques Snicket!”
Lilac’s realizing here that that was her uncle.
They all turned to look at Olaf, who didn’t even look uncomfortable. They wanted him to be uncomfortable. They wanted him to be scared.
A reference to a line from Shouldn’t You Be In School?: Someone cleared their throat and we both looked back at a tall, masked figure, watching us calmly. Too calmly, I thought. I wanted him worried.
Sunny and Soli were crying, too. “Audit,” Sunny said, meaning, “People never listen to children.”
“Audit” comes from the Latin verb “audio”, meaning “to listen.”
They stood up, with Nick lifting Solitude and Violet moving to lift Sunny, and then they walked back together, holding their heads high and ignoring the stares and whispers and chills. They sat again in the front row, still holding onto each other and refusing to let go.
“Bene?” Sunny asked. “Is that good?”
“Bene” is the Latin word for “good.”
The elevator shot down to the basement, and as it did, Nick and Violet leapt onto Olaf, pummeling him with their fists and trying to rip Justice Strauss away. Olaf shouted, and Lilac and Klaus immediately jumped help, managing to pull Justice Strauss out of his grip as Soli and Sunny screeched and started biting at his ankles, with Babbitt jumping over to the judge so they didn’t get squashed. The siblings had been waiting for this a long while, and they weren’t going to waste time.
a reference to the original shitpost that inspired this au.
Chapter Twenty-Nine - in which Sunny turns to Arson
“Alexandria,” Sunny said, which meant, “Unless she has a backup, you son of a bitchass motherfucker.”
A reference to the Library of Alexandria.
Chapter Thirty - in which the Baudelaires have had ENOUGH
“And the only fucking reason,” Lilac said, sitting up and grimacing as her stomach wound flared up, “That we haven’t thrown you overboard already is that we might need bait to catch larger fish to eat.”
A slight reference to “Shipwrecked” by The Gothic Archies, which was inspired by The End.
“Cazzo,” Sunny said, which meant, “Which won’t be long, dickhead.”
“Cazzo” is an Italian curse word.
Chapter Thirty-One - in which Nick is not taking Ishmael’s bullshit
“You cannot force me to wear white.” Lilac said.
A reference both to Lilac being incredibly goth, and to her trauma from the Marvelous Marriage, where she was forced into a wedding dress.
Nick said. “Listen up, you- someone cover Friday’s ears.” Klaus reached forwards and slammed his hands over Friday’s ears. “Alright. Listen up, you bitchass motherfucker.”
I’VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER-
“I was drugged up once, it’s not fun.”
I left this to be interpreted in separate ways: one, like Duncan guessed in Part Two: Chapter Twenty, Nick was drugged as part of his torture. Two, like Klaus said in Chapter Twenty-Four, Classical Literature Camp was wild.
“Yeah, it’s not.” Violet agreed.
Reference to her being drugged in The Hostile Hospital.
Chapter Thirty-Two - in which the Baudelaires make camp
“I feel like we weren’t supposed to do that.” Violet said, as they walked away from the beach.
A reference to me going very off-book.
Sunny nodded, as they placed them in front of her. “Crusoe,” Sunny said, which meant, “We can drink the milk inside, so long as we don’t allow it to ferment, and I can make us toasted coconut flakes, if you give me some room around the fire.”
A reference to Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe.
“Sandstone,” Sunny said, meaning, “Can someone get me something like a bowl?”
A reference to her first line in the Netflix series: “Can you find a rock that’s not sandstone?”
They were silent again, and then Lilac said, “Um, speaking- speaking of hard things to tell- oh.”
She was going to tell them about her biological father.
Nick’s face fell. “You’re right, we don’t wanna kidnap.”
Don’t wanna emulate VFD.
Chapter Thirty-Three - in which the Baudelaires begin to heal
“Wait.” Friday narrowed her eyes. “Bears don’t live on beaches.”
“I know!” Klaus laughed. “Shakespeare had no geographical knowledge whatsoever.”
Once again, a reference to a famous stage direction from William Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale.
“Yeet!” Violet shouted, as she threw herself beside her siblings, and after a second, Lilac flopped over, too.
A reference to the vine/meme.
Chapter Thirty-Four - in which Friday goes off-book
“Kit Snicket?” Lilac shouted.
“No, Kit Kittredge.” Solitude sighed.
A reference to the American Girl doll, Kit Kittredge.
Friday sighed and stood up, taking a few steps forwards. She looked at her mother, and her mother’s outstretched arms, and then out at the crowd. Watching her. Waiting for her to listen.
And then she stepped back.
“No,” she said. “No, I don’t think so.”
A quick rundown of Friday’s mentality here.
Chapter Thirty-Five - in which the Baudelaires plan a mutiny
Klaus nodded. “Cinderella. East of the Sun and West of the Moon. The Juniper Tree. Little Match Girl- might skip that one, actually. Do you want to try to read it?”
Skipping “The Little Match Girl” because she dies at the end.
“Suit yourself.” said Olaf. “But you know what? I bet those islanders won’t let you back onto Olaf-Land, now that you’ve recruited one of their own.”
Intentional use of the word “recruit” here, just to taunt them.
Chapter Thirty-Six - in which we go surprisingly more off-book
“I know this.” Nick was the first one to move, stepping towards a tall fish statue, the red paint slightly peeling. He shook quite a bit as he ran a hand over it, and Klaus rushed over to put an arm around him. “We were trapped in here. How… how did we fit in here? Klaus, how did we fit?”
A reference to the fact the Red Herring statue can be seen in the arboretum in the Netflix adaptation.
Nick turned to Klaus, eyes wide. “We did fit? We were in here? I didn’t make that up?”
A very lowkey reference to We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson; Uncle Julian sometimes doubts the traumatic arsenic incident that paralyzed him and killed the rest of the family really happened.
Chapter Thirty-Seven - in which Lilac has a costume change
“Why would I-” Violet asked as Lilac grabbed a knife, drew it up to one of her braids, and chopped it off.
Violet leapt to her feet and gasped, while Nick’s dropped his marker in shock. Soli and Sunny let out tiny shrieks, as Friday stared and Klaus said, “Lilac!”
“I need to think.” Lilac said, and she grabbed another braid and chopped it off. “And this hair is getting in my way!”
“Lilac-” Klaus started forwards, but she held up a hand to stop him, and then grabbed her loose hair and started cutting. Her braids fell to the floor of the tree, as she kept cutting to get rid of the strands that could reach her face. Within a few moments, her hair was cut even shorter than the boys’, with only a small, thin braid on the side of her head.
Firstly, a reference to the fact the dramatic haircut is my favorite trope of all time.
Secondly, specifically and heavily inspired by the scene in IT: Chapter One when Beverly Marsh cuts her hair.
“Oh, fuck yeah! Deus ex Rana to the rescue!” Klaus said, rushing over first.
“Rana” is the Latin word for “frog.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight - in which the Medusoid causes a ruckus
“Hey!” Lilac shouted, stepping forwards. “What in the nine circles of hell is going on here?”
A reference to Dante’s Inferno.
“So are you, my dear.” Olaf said. He eyed her with his shiny eyes. “Why’d you do that to your hair? It makes you look much less pretty.”
Unfortunately, another reference to Beverly’s haircut in IT: Chapter One: this was the response it elicited from her abusive father.
Chapter Thirty-Nine - in which man hands on misery to man
Solitude looked to her, narrowing her eyes, a seemingly insignificant memory floating back to her. “Question mark.” she said, “Beast.”
When she realizes some stuff about Ellington’s statue.
Kit looked at her, and Lilac saw in her eyes that her choice not to take the apple had nothing to do with her child.
TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE
It’s often theorized in canon, and confirmed in this fic, that Kit was suicidal, which was why she decided not to take the apple.
Chapter Forty - in which the Baudelaires go on together
“We didn’t.” Sunny said, putting a hand on Lilac’s leg. “We have each other.”
A callback to “We lost everything.” “Except each other.”
“We don’t need to escape.” Violet said. She turned to Lilac. “Do you remember that musical, based on that movie, based on that movie, based on that book-”
The song they proceed to sing, “Finale”, is from the musical The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which is based on the Disney movie, which takes a lot of inspiration from the 1939 film, which was based on the Victor Hugo novel.
Also I made a gifset with those lyrics and I’m still very proud of it.
“I know.” Violet nodded. “I… I guess we can’t lock you in the closet anymore, huh?” Her smile only lasted a few seconds. “I’m sorry. Just trying to cheer you up.”
A reference to the one-shot.
They never told Bea she had the same shine in her eyes as her father. She didn’t need to know.
Bea is biologically Olaf’s daughter.
Solitude found all the herpetology books, which Klaus and Friday read to her. She furnished Babbitt’s habitat, and let her hair grow out so that she could braid it.
Just like her big sister Lilac.
“A statue normally wouldn’t mean anything,” Violet had told Friday, “But, well, Nick found some interesting accounts, didn’t you, Nick?”
“Li’s Dad is a wordy motherfucker,” Nick said, tossing a file that had been slipped into a bowl of honeydew melons, “But yeah, I did.”
Huge reference to All the Wrong Questions.
Chapter Forty-One / Epilogue - in which Beatrice leaves the island
“Well, maybe we only have to last a year until Lilac turns eighteen, and then we spend our fortune on pop tarts and Pokémon cards.” Solitude said.
A reference to this Alex Hirsch tweet:
“We’ll have to come up with fake names.” Solitude giggled. “I’ll be Sensible.”
“You will not, I called dibs!” Sunny shouted.
A reference to Netflix!Sunny’s name in @ornettelosts‘s Nine Baudelaires AU. Love ya, Sammie! :D
“I still wanna know how Babbitt had-” Nick began, but Klaus slapped a hand over his mouth.
“I still wanna know how Babbitt had sex.”
Lilac ran her hands over the title. “Yeah. Let’s leave this behind.” She smiled and said, “Time to go. Sound off! One!”
They’re leaving their series of unfortunate events behind.
Lilac smiled and said, “Let’s go find something new.”
There’s always something.
Perhaps, in ten years, Beatrice would have a much happier message for her uncle than he expected.
A reference to The Beatrice Letters and, lowkey, the happier version of it in Netflix’s adaptation of The End.
#asoue#asoue netflix#asoue movie#a series of unfortunate events#six baudelaires au#six baudelaires official fic#six baudelaires reference guide#six baudelaires bonus#mine
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Re-introduction!
Hi! I have a few new followers over the years that probably don’t know a lot about me! Thought I’d reintroduce myself to y’all!
My name is Lauren and I turned 21 a month ago!
-I’m from Minnesota and have lived here my while life. I also have a house in Arizona, that I’m at frequently for vacations.
-I have ADHD inattentive type, if you haven't figured that out yet 😂 I also have generalized anxiety disorder, unspecified depressive disorder, dyscalculia and PTSD. I was also recently diagnosed with Endometriosis in addition to asthma, GERD, and stomach ulcers.
-I work full time with Autistic children. I’ve been at my clinical site for over 14 months! And I love my ASD kids more than anything! 🧩
-I tend to only like about 5 things (A LOT) at a time, hence why my dash is mostly Cloak and Dagger, Carmilla, mental health memes, quotes and such.
-I am a proud lesbian and have been “out” for nearly 4 years. My most significant relationship was this last year (2019.)
-My Heart is huge. And I’m obsessed with anatomy. It’s my all time favorite hyper fixation!
-I have one tattoo! And it’s Agape! Which means unconditional, never ending, always there, love. It’s my favorite word and I’m so happy to carry it everywhere!
So here you go!
Here’s more about me! Feel free to introduce yourselves!
Blessings,
Lauren
#hello#about me#reintroduction#actually adhd#adhd#autism para#hyper fixation ass#obsessed with love#aesthetic
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Why I’ve been so quiet so long(the gist of it is ‘intense family drama and really shitty health’, it’s very long sorry)
As y’all should know by now I have just like, an entire laundry list of mental health issues; I’m autistic(itself not a problem), have BPD, a severe anxiety disorder, depression, ADHD, and maybe C-PTSD it’s hard to say with everything else. Pretty much everything I have comes with the fun symptom of executive dysfunction, which basically makes it difficult to start and complete tasks- such as reading, writing, eating, cleaning, self care, etc. Basically it makes being alive difficult.
Late 2016- long story short my mom moved out of the country and I had to find my own place and moved in with my boyfriend of at the time 5 years(now 7). He and I had been talking about moving in together for like 2 years before that, he was well informed of my MI stuff(including how hard/impossible it is for me to do dishes and things that involve leaving the house like garbage and laundry) and was very supportive; we agreed that he would be responsible for the dishes and whatnot.
Fast forward about a year and a half, the house got so dirty we had 3 back-to-back gnat infestations, a pile of pizza boxes up to my waste, and maggots and mold in the dishes in the sink because Nathan hadn’t washed them in so long. At one point management of the apartment complex was notified and just *gestures* it never got that bad but it kept cycling back to ‘pretty bad’ because Nathan’s run so hard at work that he just will not do anything around the house and I ask him to do stuff and he complains and takes like 4-7+ days until he does it- I had to throw out my favorite pot because it got entirely coated in mold, we had over 6 garbage bags in the spare room at one point because he wasn’t taking them out, etc.
Cut to about 2 months ago, we hadn’t been shopping in literally a month. We were out of food and I hadn’t eaten anything except a lil candy and like, 1 serving of McDonalds in like 2 weeks. My mental illnesses got about as bad as they ever have been and I napped for 2+ hours every day because I was so tired and miserable- I made a plan and the main reason I didn’t go through with it was because I couldn’t get the items I needed thanks to not being able to order stuff online or get to a store IRL.
Blah blah blah other stuff blah blah, about 3 weeks ago Nathan’s like ‘I’m gonna go visit Bear(his friend who he talks to for 2+ hours every day) for a month starting April’ which like, great. Shit already barely gets done while you’re here, you’re gonna take a month off of your like $10.00 an hour job while I can’t work(I’m on SSI) to fuck off and have fun with your friend and leave me, a person with a severe anxiety disorder and no ability to leave the house, alone.
A couple days after that I hear from my mom that she’s gonna be moving back to the states very soon, getting home before Nathan leaves for Florida actually. She’s gonna be in Ohio to visit me and auntie and pick up her car. Because we have a spare room and I don’t do well living on my own(I start to get anxiety attacks after about 3 days and they escalate to panic attacks after about a week), I was like ‘why don’t you stay with me while you’re here’.
Blah blah blah, a little more drama(her ex-husband’s an asshole and was being a pain about giving her car back, she doesn’t wanna be here while he’s here, he’s threatening to call the police on her, etc etc) and lots of shifting plans(Nathan figuring out when he’s gonna go and come back, mom figuring out when she’s gonna get to the states, come here, go home, etc), we’re currently on “Nathan’s leaving on the 18th of April and coming back the 22nd of May” and “Mom’s coming the 21st of April and leaving probably before Nathan gets back”.
My mental health always gets worse around my birthday(which was the 12th) and it was even worse with the entire thing with Nathan, him hardly helping out around the house, etc etc.
I ended up doing most of the cleaning and he finally helped and he hasn’t been as much of a pain about it- but he’s also been working under the excitement of ‘I’m gonna be gone for 5 weeks’ soon and he always punches up the helpfulness around birthdays and anniversaries. He’s had like 6 days off in the past 2 weeks and while yes he finally has helped out a lot with stuff that needs done(I’ve had dirty clothes in the hamper for over 8 months, the fridge and counters are finally free of dirty dishes), there’s still more to do and he’s spent most of his free time on the computer, playing PS4, talking to Bear, and complaining about how much he has to get done before he leaves.
On top of that, all this time(starting before our month-long absence of groceries and my literal starvation) I’ve been complaining to mom about how he doesn’t help out like he said he would and how he complains so much when I ask for help, how he won’t come serve himself when I make dinner, etc etc. I told her how we hadn’t been shopping in a month and I was literally starving and desperately suicidal for like 2 weeks and along with the topic of her moving back to the states she was like ‘well why don’t you move in with me’.
After about a month of thinking, cleaning, mulling, talking with a bunch of my friends with it... It’s not good for me to stay here. I realize and completely understand that his job is hella stressful, but it’s not the most stressful job anyone has ever had. The other manager screws him over and he gets stuck with shitty shifts, but he has 3 days off every week and accepted responsibilities around the house. I definitely believe part of his problem is that he never fucking eats; the difference in mood and energy I had after going from ‘barely/not eating at all’ to ‘eating not necessarily well but at least once daily’ is astounding and it’s just insanely frustrating living with someone who doesn’t do the things they said they would do, complains when I ask for help, and lets the house get so bad we get maggots, fruit flies, and mold. Our respective mental health stuff plays VERY poorly off of each other and when the house gets bad(aka all the time), my mental health nose dives. Never mind how rarely we go shopping, translating to how rarely we have food, made even rarer because the dishes are so often dirty and the counters are so often covered, making it impossible to cook.
My mom on the other hand, even when she was working like 60-65 hours a week 6 days a week(compared to his ~40 over 4 days), while less stressful than his(she owned a vape shop in a small town), still got chores done every week, helped me do them, helped me cook when I couldn’t, and went grocery shopping EVERY WEEK.
After a lot of deliberation- I don’t want to screw him over by not being around to clean any more and once my SSI isn’t helping pay rent and bills any more he’ll be left with about $190 a month after rent and bills for food or anything**- my friends have helped me realize that me leaving isn’t throwing him under the bus-- he’s already done that. Me leaving is me pulling myself out from under the bus. So. That’s been rough. I’m gonna talk to mom about it while she’s visiting but at this point it mostly comes down to whether or not I can bring my cat, since I refuse to leave her here or rehome her.
**Also he’s made a few comments about ‘I know I complain about my job being shitty but who else an afford to take 5 weeks off with no pay!!’ and I’m like... NOT FUCKING US. You’re a shift supervisor at a KFC, dude. I’m on SSI.
We have so much extra money because we never go grocery shopping(that right there would take care of over $400 a month), we don’t have a car, we don’t have any insurance, we never go anywhere(shopping or otherwise. cabs in town are $6 one way and Nathan likes to tip a dollar or two, so that’s at least almost $30 a month we aren’t spending), we never clean so we aren’t spending money on laundry or cleaners(the use of the laundry machines alone would be $10-$20+ every month that we aren’t spending), so like. There’s over $450 we just aren’t spending every month because we DON’T DO THE THINGS WE DO. And he always harps on about how ‘wow we’re responsible adults!’ RESPONSIBLE ADULTS EAT, CLEAN, AND WASH THEIR CLOTHES, NATHAN. Responsible adults don’t blow over $1,500 on a 5 week vacation with no pay when they make $10 an hour. Just. Ugh
Things have been pretty alright the last few days because it’s my birthday and nathan is always way more helpful around my birthday so we’ve ogtten most of the cleaning and stuff done and I was feeling bad about thinking about leaving but just like, dude. Shit is so bad and he’s acting like it’s not.
This is even longer than I was afraid it was gonna be :/ Thanks if you read it all and just. Ugh. Yeah. Finally got most of the house cleaned up and my birthday’s behind me and my mood’s improving some, so I’m gonna be trying to get active on here. Nathan’ll be gone for 5 weeks soon so I won’t have the stress of having him around for a while and I’ll be able to cook for myself without fear so that should help... but also I get so anxious alone in a house. Probably will be limited activity while mom is around too because we’ll be hanging out and we’re gonna go out to eat at a bunch of places and to at least the Aquarium. Nathan’s gonna blow insane month we don’t have on visiting his friend? I’m gonna blow money on mom and me. I have over $1,000 in cash because, again, we never fucking shop, and I won’t be able to spend any of it until at least after the 21st and I’ll get another $750 on the first, so I’ll be set for a while, but I’m gonna try to save a good portion for if shit works out and I end up moing back in with mom.
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it’s 11:01 pm and i’m bORED let’s talk about my ocs so you can love them too!
context: it’s a fantasy adventure featuring a band of adventurers goin’ places, savin’ the world, fallin’ love, ya know. the works. no one in the world is white, btw, and no one in the main cast is straight, cis, or able-bodied/neurotypical. bc i can.
kelmaris: you mean MY SON. kel is a trans adventurer who fell in love started travelling with shan. he is gay and smol and i love him. also he’s the eldest of the triplets (lenna and mardi are his sibs) and has a telepathic connection with the two that was brought about by the gods. he has ptsd, dysphoria, and a prosthetic left arm that he uses to cast magic. for a d&d/pathfinder equivalent: half elf paladin.
lenna: kel’s younger sib. they are agender, ace, and aro. they formerly identified as a trans woman, but due to trauma they then identified more agender instead. they are a cinnamon roll and super pretty. they also have the telepathic connection thing. she also has ptsd and is disabled from the neck down, but uses a magical necklace to move around (though it’s incredibly tiring and makes her sick if she uses it too often). d&d equivalent: half-elf bard.
mardi: A MESS BUT I LOVE HIM. he is genderfluid and pan and basically loki if loki were a romani half-elf bard/rogue guy (but also like. the thor ragarok version of loki.) he is in love with ai but he doesn’t realize it was her bc he was drunk and has memory issues. he is the youngest of the triplets. for a clue to his personality: he is the half-elf incarnation of the “i lyk the bred” meme. he has a prosthetic leg and adhd. d&d equivalent: half-elf bard/rogue, esp one who seduces everything.
shan: ALSO MY SON. he a demiboy. he is blind, but in his culture blind people are huge religious figures treated with the utmost respect, and he was adopted by the king (who is gay and needs an heir so win-win). he usually travels with a Companion but his old companion died so he literally fasted and sat on the road for a week until kel found him and he became his new companion. also he has robes that are used as a diary which i think is p cool. d&d equivalent: human monk.
eino: precious bby. they are a tiny fae looking for their sib who travels with kel and shan. they were adopted by the two, more or less, and they are ridiculously adorable. they are autistic & enby bc their race doesn’t believe in gender as a construct, and basically everyone is nonbinary. d&d equivalent: fairy witch (but like a lil fairy witch)
ayla: precious bby’s big sib. travelling with lenna. i love them. they’re a lesbian and they fall in love with their deity of family and home and it’s adorable. they’re also nonbinary & autistic, but they also have ocd and depression. they really need love and cuddles guys. (thankfully, lenna is a cuddling MACHINE). d&d equivalent: fairy witch (but a full grown one this time).
ai: MY GIRL. ai is also travelling with lenna and she is pregnant. (it’s mardi’s kid, though neither them realize it until later) she is super excited about being a mom but she’s also like. really nervous. ya know? also she’s pyrogender! (for y’all who don’t know, it’s where your gender is normally at a neutral state, with some flares of intensity that returns to rest. i first heard of it on here and i love it so much. i think it’s cool guys.) she’s also got a walking stick she uses as a cane due to mobility issues, and ayla (who is a tol bean and strong) sometimes carries her. which is cute. d&d equivalent: elven alchemist.
mako: mako is gay. super gay. for his husband. who is also gay. i love him. he is a friend of mardi’s (by friend i really mean tether to sanity, but potato-potato, ya know) and ai’s older brother. also he has ptsd and a prosthetic right arm (he and kel become gay prosthetic buddies). btoh he and his husband djimon are genderqueer. d&d equivalent: elven gunslinger.
djimon: djimon is also gay. for his husband. i love them. so much. djimon is a dwarf and is missing one eye. he and mako are basically the super badass couple of the group. he and lenna (the two aces of the squad) drink together and laugh at the others being all in love and shit. sometimes mako joins in to laugh at their messy family and give djimon lil smooches. d&d equivalent: dwarven sorcerer.
if ya want backstory or elaboration, shoot my an ask. i will talk about this world and these babies all. night. long.
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my adhd hell brain manifests in part as Obsessively Keeping Lists so i don’t flat-out forget my own headcanons so here’s tentatively what i’m thinking in terms of neurodiverse chosen children
things i’m p solid on:
takeru: ptsd (also abandonment issues tbh)
joe: generalized anxiety
miyako: adhd (probably combined-type) - shoutout to @knifeoframens because we talked about this once
things i’m mostly settled on but still fiddling with:
taichi: ptsd but not to the degree of takeru (i can account for basically all the criteria but i’m not sure if he displays all the symptoms at the same time/close enough together chronologically to count from a diagnostic perspective??? idk)
yamato: anxiety? depression? idk much about avpd but maybe that from what i do know? at least in adventure, might have gotten a handle on it by 02/tri
sora: mild anxiety or depressive episodes? i don’t personally read her as struggling as much w/ that as yamato but she does tend to internalize better than he does so
still kicking around:
koushiro: asperger’s/ASD? my roommate also has tossed out OCD with mostly obsessive symptoms and not as many compulsive ones
i feel like those could account for his social anxiety in 01 and he doesn’t have social anxiety disorder by itself
mimi: ??? survivor’s guilt at least in 01 but i don’t remember if this shows up in 02 (it definitely doesn’t show up in tri but though i do like tri for the most part i also do what i want)
also maaaaaybe subclinical inattentive-type adhd but i don’t have an argument so much as a Vague Vibe u feel
hikari: some form of depression? i have seen a lot of autistic hikari hcs and would really like to hear about those (because i do see where i think y’all are coming from what with her being pretty nonverbal as a child and all iirc)
ken: ptsd??? social anxiety??? depression??? another form of anxiety??? some combination of the above??? we just don’t know
as far as i can tell daisuke and iori are the only chosen i think of as neurotypical or can’t think of any behaviors that would meet the criteria for anything which is. ha. like two (2) of your faves are neurotypical.
#obv this is just my interpretation but i sure love neurodiversity in fiction#digimon#xero is in digimon hell
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🌙🌙Izzy Here; Your Worth It🌙🌙
🔥⭐️🌈Hey It’s Izzy (obviously lol) Your All Enough && Yo All Worth It, Fuck What The World && Society Tells U && Excpects U To Be xx I help everyone and everything obsessively, but I wish I could change the world , fix everything and everyone. This society disgusts me , this is a lesson I learned in my early childhood, the world is full of hate , salt and sugar look the same, and some people are disgusting, not everyone u associate with is your friend . I wanna save fix help care love be there , be by your side till the end no matter what, I’m here for you, don’t let anyone change who u are, ur not alone . I’m here for all y’all always, fuck all those assholes who try to mess with u . Fuck It Man, I love all y’all, and a big fuck u to all the abusers out there, just cuz u have a bad day doesn’t mean you have to make other people’s day bad as well. You Are You && Theres Only One , Be Kind , U Never Know What Someone’s Going Thru , I’ve been tortured raped and abused most of my life , I have over 10+ mental illnesses, and I’m watching the world being destroyed, yes I’ve fucked up in the past, no one is perfect, yes I’ve been an asshole , but I’m fixing it now. For all y’all who are going through shit and even if you are not, you matter YOUR feelings are valid , thank u for breathing, you’ve come this far, don’t give up now, I’m proud of y’all, and I’m here for u , message me anytime:) stay strong!!-Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🌈⭐️🔥 🦋🦋TRIGGER WARNING!!!! hey it’s Izzy here, and yes I wrote all this, you are YOU && YOUR AN AMAZING YOU! sure u make mistakesX but that doesn’t define u as a person, if u have a mental illness(es) that doesn’t define u at all, it only makes u stronger , ur stronger than you realize , your battling your mind every day and night , your a warrior , if your thinking about hurting yourself or thinking of suicide, don’t do it , trust me I’ve been there , you may think hope is lost but I’ll be ur hope, as hard as it is to ask for help, it’s one step closer to u not being dead, I know for some of us being alive is painful, dealing with abuse torture rape etc any kind of trauma , and u feel alone, put ur hand over your heart, feel it for about 30 seconds, feel that? That’s purpose , to those of u who have been bullied, I wish I could fix it, but what they say about u is a reflection of themselves, I know it doesn’t make it any better, but they will get there karma, U ARE NONE OF THOSE THINGS AND THERE TRICKING U TO THINK THAT ITS TRUE ! not all people are good and not all people are bad, to those of you who feel like giving up, stay one more night , I know it’s not easy , but I’ll stay up all night with u until ur ok, suicide takes. Away ur pain but passes it on to someone else, u may not think there gonna be affected by it , some won’t but some will, on one of my suicide attempts I never thought my friend cared cus she showed she didn’t care, her dog was wining and howling when I was on the floor and I was fading In and out , my friend called 911. And after that incident the dog passed away , and my friend tried to take there life , I’m glad ur alive hun I’m glad ur breathing that ur here, the world wouldn’t be the same without u , I would miss u. To those of u with mental illnesses ANXIETY: I have this one, your mind is tricking u, u gotta our run ur anxiety , I’ve had anxiety attacks so bad I ended up in the emergency room, I want u to step back , I want u to turn on LoFi Radio (there’s an app) and meditate to it , I want u to breathe In for 4 seconds , hold for 4, and let out 4, but do it slow , and remember WHO THE FUCK U ARE! If any of you are on the urge of feeling out of ur body crawling out of your skin , can’t breathe , everything’s either speeding up or slowing down, you think everyone and everything is after u, it may not be easy . But I’m here for you. BIPOLAR: I have bipolar mixed episodes , and I’m manic and I become dangerous , I feel like I’m on top of the world , what I need u todo is sit somewhere that u can use all ur senses , and use each time one to snap back into reality, sometimes are senses are intensifying and we can’t control it , but u need to see a doctor for medication, and DO NOT STOP UR MEDICATION COLD TURKEY (all at once) it takes a couple weeks for medication to kick in and adjust to your body . Go into the mirror and scream (if u can) that ur a survivor u are strong u are worth it and keep doing it until u believe it, It will take time. PTSD: I have this one as well , first off u are Not ur trauma cx and remember that u will see triggers constantly, think about this, ur not there anymore , u are not who u were back then, I have flashbacks constantly that it happens every day , write a letter to yourself and or ur trauma as a whole , I’m here for you , I know trauma from top to bottom , if ANY of u wanna talk to me about it , u don’t have to , I’m always here. Ur not alone , I go to outpatient therapy, not a lot recently tho , but If u keep bottling shit up it’s gonna explode one way or another ,I’m not a therapist or a professional. DEPRESSION: I have this one to, you feel hopeless, I’ll be ur hope, u feel worthless, u feel like ur drowning in an ocean and u can’t swim, u feel like darkness is controlling you, ur depression is lying to u, u are worth it your important you are enough! U matter ! U are not worthless or whatever ur depression is telling u , it’s not “trendy” to have a mental disorder y’all, ur depression keeps u In bed , u lose motivation so much where u can’t even eat , or lack or to much sleep, I want u to fight it , push thru , I kno , easier said than done, but u gotta force yourself to do it , if u literally can’t move ur body, trust me I’ve been there, I want u to think of something that u would get out of bed for (emergencies, saving someone) something that motivates u more than anything in the world, and count backwards from 10 and I know it’s not easy , but moving around decreases ur depression than staying in one spot , overthinking is something I need to work on. ADHD/OCD/ODD: I have all of those snap your fingers when ur trying to concentrate on something and only focus on the snapping of the finger , OCD fight off the urge to follow thru ur routine and think if I don’t tap my fingers a certain amount of times , is the outcome of not following thru logical? As much As u believe something bad is gonna happen , it’s just ur mind playing annoying paranoid tricks on u. Once again it’s easier said than done. AUTISM: u are NOT STUPID RETARDED SLOW ETC! U are actually the sweetest caring people out there , take ur time c ur doing the best you can, so what if u learn slower than others , ur smart and amazing in ur own way , if u know someone who is Autistic , don’t judge them they are people to, be patient with them! I have high functioning autism. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: to be honest I didn’t know what this was until a doctor at in one of the mental hospitals I was in diagnosed me with it , then it all made sense, my advice is to remember to NOT let ur emotions and explosions control u , we are Not attention seekers , when u have extreme emotions or emotion and/or intensified emotions is to remember we’re not ourselves when it’s happening, and when u come back from it u regret it , right? And the next time u have one of ur breakdowns is to have someone observe where it starts and when it stops so u know ur triggers . A lot of people think it’s “cool and trendy” to have BPD, newsflash Karen, u don’t know and it makes it harder to have it cuz people like u think it’s cool, step a day in our shoes, if u don’t have it don’t pretend to , and this also goes for other mental illnesses, no one is gonna be impressed by u having a “mental illness” cus u think it will get u places. Don’t let anyone bring u down or change you! INSOMNIA: I have insomnia, what I do is download sleep and meditation apps on my phone , if u want message me if u want some suggestions for apps I use . DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY FUED: I have this one to, I dissociate most of the day, I can’t process where I am and o go to many different alternative universes, I feel like I’m in a dream or a movie , what I do is ground myself and even if I can’t process it I use all my senses together and try to break back into reality. I meditate all day and I snap my fingers and try to process where and who I am , I know easier said than done . ANOREXIA AND BULIEMIA: I have Anorexia, u are not fat ugly etc , ur slowly killing yourself , I can’t give u advice on this one cus I wouldn’t follow it, I would be a hypocrite. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: I have this one as well, what I do is try to remember who the hell u were when it started , its hard I know , but I’m here for you NARCOLEPSY: I have this, I don’t know any advice cuz I don’t know myself but I would consult a perfessional SCHIZOAFFECTIVE/SCHIZOPHRENIA: I have schizoaffective, study ur voices visions demons alters etc. and drown them out with loud music or just listen to LoFi and meditate I try and snap my fingers by my ear , and then ask myself , is this real? Even if you can’t tell the difference, try to ask someone’s round u, did u hear/see that ? PARANIOA: I have this , same advice I gave on my schizoaffective disorder , ask someone who you can trust if it’s real or not but make sure there around u, scream at the demons . Anyways , thank u for being alive for being here for breathing!me having over 10 mental illnesses makes it hard To help myself but easy to help others I’m here always, Stay Alive_Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (Me)🦋🦋
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I suffer from depression anxiety PTSD and am sure I have ADHD. It’s so hard to get up in the morning and just do simple tasks that others take for granted. I try to tell people but they are all like calm down, cheer up and just focus. I am so happy that those of us who got out of bed and so happy for those that woke up. This might not be an ask but maybe it is. I just want everyone to know someone understands. Thanks for doing this!
I completely understand! I also struggle with depression, anxiety, ptsd and I have autism and I think I might also have adhd but I’m not diagnosed. Sometimes it can be so hard to just begin my day and I’ll waste half my day planning to eat or shower. It’s also really hard just doing basic things like replying to texts, and sometimes it takes a week after I’ve already seen a text just to answer. These are things people find really simple and easy and don’t really understand or accept that it’s not easy for me and that I can’t just change and stop doing those things (since they’re literally a part of my diagnoses.)
I think people who don’t have disabilities don’t understand how difficult these things can be and which is why we really need to be spreading awareness. If we could just ‘be happy/calm’ or just do the thing, we would’ve done so a million times over. If more people knew this and didn’t treat us as if it’s a character flaw rather than our disability/diagnoses, I think everyday life would be just a bit easier and it’d be a lot easier to vent rather than bottling our emotions up instead.
Also what you said about being happy everytime someone gets out of bed or wakes up, I completely agree with that! I’m very proud of every time someone makes it out of bed on days it’s really difficult and every time someone is forgiving of themselves for not doing okay, and Everytime someone changes their bedsheets, cleans their room, texts their friends or does anything that can be difficult for us. I’m so proud when people take one step,towards being kinder to themselves, even if it’s just once a week, even if sometimes they go back on they’re progress. I hope people who are doing all of this quietly know too that I’m proud of them, whether anybody else knows or not they’re doing an amazing job and they’re still perfectly valid
Also another reason spreading awareness is so important is that just knowing about your diagnoses and disabilities can be so benificial and helpful. (I do say disabilities because disabilities are in the context of their environment and anxiety, ptsd, depression and adhd often make things that abled people can do without second thought and expect you to do the same, very difficult.) Just knowing about my anxiety made it a lot easier to not let anxiety completely take over since I could recognise better the reality of things from what anxiety has made things out to be. Knowing about my autism has made me be able to be more forgiving and accepting of myself and be more true to myself because I’ve been able to recognise what I’ve pushed down and stopped myself from doing and enjoying just to pass as normal (my friends like me more now too, as I’ve opened up and become ‘more’ autistic). Knowing my ptsd has let me recognise my triggers and boundaries, so I don’t have to force myself into awful situations just to please others and knowing my depression has let me be more gentle with myself when I’m having an episode.
Im sorry people don’t really understand these things. If you can explain the difficulties you have with certain things and why, then maybe they can learn and be a bit better with comforting you. And if not, if you ever want to tell someone about these things, feel free to talk to me because chances are we could both benefit from it and I likely understand what’s going on, or at least will try to, and will certainly listen to what you’re experiencing/have experienced.
I know I’ve basically just elaborated in what you’ve said (and written a lot) but I really like what you have to say. Thank you for sharing this with me! I might not know you very well but I have a hunch that you have a very beautiful soul and I know I’m quite proud of you for acknowledging and talking about these things and also for every step you’ve taken to learn from and understand your experiences, especially in terms of your disabilities/diagnoses and to improving your wellbeing.
I hope y’all understood what I’ve said and I hope I’ve reassured or helped someone even just a little, and yeah please, if you don’t feel comfortable telling anyone you know irl what you’re going through, just message me or I know there’s plenty of other tumblr users more than willing to just listen, since venting is so important and healthy and it’s really nice to have someone just understand or comfort you whenever you’re going through something.
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