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monzabee · 10 months

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lean on you – cl16

masterlist

Summary: The one where you learn to lean on Charles more than you thought you ever could.

Pairing: charles leclerc x medstudent!reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: it’s been a while since i went to an actual hospital, so that, and also worried charles, mentions of sickness and vomiting, also mentions of food poisoning

Request: “Hiiii! I don’t know if you still accept request😅 but I have something in my mind if you are open to it, like the reader is quite sick before Charles’ race, he wanted to stay to take care of her but she insisted that he go on with the race and that she’ll be fine. But during the race, Charles’ got a call that she have been taken to the hospital by Lorenzo since she almost passed out. Charles went straight to the hospital and bit mad and angry at her being so stubborn. I just think Charles can be over protective and can be so upset or angry when he get very worried. Like how Charles will emphasise that she have him instead of being so independent all the time. 🤍🤍🤍 thank you if you will do it, but if not, it’s alright too! I just love and enjoy reading all your works!🤩 ”+ “Can you write a fic where the reader is a med!student with Charles? (definitely not projecting🫣)”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i loved both of these concepts and i though they’d go well together, because most of my friends who are also med students love diagnosing themselves?? i kind of wanted to based the reader off of bow from black-ish if you guys ever watched it, it’s my current watch and i love her so much!! it was very fun for me to write, and thank you to both of the anons for their requests! Feedback is always appreciated, and i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

“Are you sure you’re fine, mignon? You look worse than you did last night.” Charles lets his eyes look over your fatigued figure in your bed, worry etched into his eyebrows.

Giving him a weak smile, you do your best to reassure his worries by reaching for his hand resting on the side of his body. “I’m fine, love, I feel better than I did yesterday.” Charles sighs softly, his worry not entirely dissipating. He moves closer to the bed, his hand tightening around yours, and you squeeze his hand gently, relaying the message that you appreciate his concern. “I really am, you don’t have to worry about me, okay?”

“You say as if that’s an easy thing, love.” He emphasises, giving you a small smile that still allows you to see the dimples on his cheeks. “I just don’t want to leave you alone, you seem worse than you did last night.”

Your expression softens as you recall the way he doted on you the previous evening, no matter how much you told him that you were doing fine. “I promise I’m feeling much better, it’s nothing but a stomach bug – and I promise I’ll rest today, too.”

Charles leans down and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “You better keep that promise and rest, it’s doctor’s orders," he says with a hint of playfulness in his voice. "I'll hold you to it.”

You chuckle weakly, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. “I promise, Charles. I'll stay in bed, take my medicine, and rest. I have some lecture stuff I have to go over, anyway." You pause, looking up at him with sincere eyes. "And you need to focus on your race. I don't want you to worry about me, be careful out there please.”

His lips form a mock pout, making your facial muscles to pull in an involuntary smile, “But my favourite part is the part where my doctor takes care of me,” his thumb draws a comforting circle on your hand, “your kisses help immensely.”

You blush at his playful comment, grateful for his affectionate nature even in times of worry. “I promise I’ll give you kisses when you come back, but only if you promise you’ll be careful.” You sigh deeply at the boyish grin he sends your way, “I’m serious, Charles.”

Charles's expression softens, and he reaches out to cup your face in his hands, his touch gentle yet firm. "I promise, my love. I'll be careful. Do you need me to bring you anything before I leave?”

Your nod is sluggish and doesn’t go unnoticed by Charles, but he chooses to remain silent as he gives you a moment to think about your answer. “Can you just give me my computer and anatomy book, please?” You watch as Charles nods in understanding. He leans down to give you a tender kiss on the lips before making his way to the desk where your belongings are kept. Retrieving the items you requested, he returns to your bedside, placing them gently on the bed beside you.

"Here you go, mignon," he says softly, his voice filled with genuine concern. He notices the way you keep fiddling with the collar of his your sweatshirt – a habit you usually display when you’re sick because the clothing usually causes overstimulation in your mind. “Do you want me to bring you some water? Or maybe order room service?”

You shake your head to the either side this time, giving him a sleepy smile as you start talking, “I’m good, but thank you, darling.” You let out a small giggle at the unapproving glance he sends your way, “I promise I’ll order some food when I get hungry, Charles.”

Charles chuckles softly, his eyes filled with a mix of amusement and concern at the way you emphasise the word. "Alright, love. Just make sure you take care of yourself and eat something nutritious. I don't want you skipping meals, even if you're not feeling well."

You nod, appreciating his reminder. "I promise, Charles. I'll make sure to eat when I need to. But for now, I think I'll focus on studying and getting some rest."

He leans in to press a gentle kiss to your temple, his warm breath brushing against your skin. "That sounds like a good plan. I'll leave you to it then, but remember to reach out if you need anything, okay?"

"I will," you reply softly, your eyes growing heavy with fatigue. "Thank you for taking care of me, Charles. I love you."

He smiles warmly, his eyes filled with affection. "I love you too, mignon. Rest well and take all the time you need. I'll see you soon." With that, Charles gives your hand a final squeeze and presses his lips to your forehead in a parting kiss before reluctantly pulling away and leaving the room. Taking a deep breath, you focus on the task at hand, determined to make the most of your day even if you’re feeling a bit down.

It’s not easy for Charles to focus on his driving that day, not easy at all. He can’t seem to focus on the track when you seem to occupy his mind and linger in his thoughts. The people around him notices the way he seems almost detached at the garage that day, and also noticing your absence, thankfully they accommodate him and his aloofness the best they can. He keeps an eye on his phone the entire time before he gets in the car – something he usually never does before a race just in case you call him in need of assistance. Charles takes a deep breath, trying to clear his mind as he prepares for the race. He knows he needs to focus, but his thoughts keep drifting back to you. Concern and worry gnaw at him, making it difficult to fully immerse himself in the adrenaline of the race.

Before climbing into his car, he approaches his brother, who is thankfully standing nearby. He looks into Lorenzo's eyes and speaks in a hushed tone, “Hey, can you do me a favour?”

Lorenzo, sensing the urgency in Charles' voice, gives him a nod, his own concern mirrored in his eyes. “Of course, Charles. What do you need? Is everything alright?”

Charles takes a moment to gather his thoughts before responding. “I need you to keep an eye on my phone, Y/N wasn’t feeling too good this morning, and i have a bad feeling about it.” He hands Lorenzo his phone, making sure to check one for one last time to see whether you’ve texted or called him, you haven’t.

Lorenzo's brows furrow with worry as he listens to Charles, but he understands the gravity of the situation and the significance of Charles' request. "Don't worry, Charles, I'll take care of it – and I'll let you know if anything happens. You focus on the race, and I'll make sure everything is handled."

With that assurance, Charles turns his attention back to the race ahead and quickly puts on his balaclava and helmet. He climbs into his car, adjusting his helmet and securing himself in the cockpit. The anticipation and excitement of the race surround him, but his mind remains consumed with worry for you as he tries to assure himself that you are fine and resting back at the hotel. The race begins, and Charles pushes the limits of his car, manoeuvring through the twists and turns of the track. But no matter how hard he tries, he can't fully immerse himself in the competitive spirit. Thoughts of you and your well-being linger, distracting him from the task at hand. His racing instincts seem dull, his reaction time slightly delayed, and he struggles to find his usual pace.

As the laps pass by, Charles notices that he's slipping further and further behind, unable to keep up with the leading pack. Frustration mounts within him, battling against his worry for you. The race that should have been a chance for him to shine becomes an arduous struggle to maintain his composure, as he struggles to keep up with the cars infront, the ones behind him seemingly passing him with ease and causing him to drop out of points. So despite his best efforts, Charles finishes the race with a disappointing result, far from his usual position on the podium. He steps out of the car, feeling a mix of exhaustion and disappointment washing over him. The familiar cheers from the crowd seem distant, overshadowed by his concern for you. His mind is occupied by imagining the worst as he gets out of his car, takes off his helmet and stumbles towards the team's garage. The once vibrant atmosphere now feels muted, as if the world around him has lost its importance. He can sense the curious glances and sympathetic looks from his fellow team members, but he can't bring himself to socialise with any of them.

His eyes hastily search for his brother, but Lorenzo is the one who finds him before he can spot him. Lorenzo's concerned gaze locks with Charles’, and he quickly makes his way toward him, his steps mirroring Charles’ urgency. Understanding the look in his brother’s eyes instantly, Charles asks, “What’s wrong? Is it Y/N? Is everything alright?”

Charles watches his brother expectantly as he places a comforting hand on his shoulder, making him want to slap his hand away, but the next words that come out of his mouth is enough to takes his breath away, “Carlos is on the phone with the hospital–”

“Hospital?” Charles interrupts Lorenzo, “Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire par l'hôpital qui t'a appelé?” What do you mean the hospital called you?

“Calm down, Charles, laisse-moi t'expliquer.” Lorenzo gives him a pointed look, and gently steer him towards his teammate’s cousin, “Y/N called me from the taxi, she said she was going to the hospital because she wasn’t feeling well,” he raises a hand to stop Charles from interrupting again, “she also told me that she’d call me once she got to the hospital but she didn’t, I’m guessing her phone died and the hospital called me instead. But my Spanish is non-existent and Carlos is talking to them, so for the love of God, calme-toi un peu.”

Charles's mind races with a mix of relief and anxiety upon hearing Lorenzo's explanation. He takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure as he listens to his brother's words. The realization that Y/N is at the hospital sinks in, bringing a wave of concern to the forefront of his thoughts. Nodding in acknowledgment, Charles tries to calm his racing heartbeat and focus on the information at hand. “My girlfriend is at a hospital in a country she’s not familiar with, how do you expect me to calm down?”

“Just wait for a moment, we’ll have more information when Carlos is done talking to the hospital-people.” Lorenzo reassures him, and it helps Charles to focus on the current issue at hand – learning the name of the hospital and finding his way there as fast as possible.

Taking Lorenzo's advice to heart, Charles tries to steady his racing thoughts and focus on the present. He takes another deep breath, reminding himself to stay calm and composed. The minutes feel like an eternity as they wait for Carlos to conclude the call. Finally, Carlos hangs up the phone and approaches Charles and Lorenzo, his expression grave but determined. "The hospital confirmed that Y/N arrived safely," Carlos begins, his voice steady. "They're currently conducting some tests to determine the cause of her discomfort. The initial assessment suggests it may be a severe case of food poisoning."

A certain degree of understanding and relief washes over Charles as he lets Carlos’ words sink in. He offers his teammate’s cousin a grateful look, “Thank you for your help, Carlos,” he nods his head in appreciation, “do you have the name of the hospital?”

Carlos returns Charles's grateful look with a reassuring smile and a nod, “It’s the Hospital Quirónsalud Barcelona, she’s a smart girl, Charles, it’s an international hospital so she shouldn’t have any problems communicating with the doctors.” He pats Charles’ shoulder when the latter gives him a confused look, “You weren’t exactly quiet, mate.”

Charles lets out a small chuckle, realizing that his worries may have been more apparent than he thought. He appreciates Carlos' attempt to lighten the mood and offers a grateful smile. "You're right, I probably wasn't the most composed person just now," he admits, "but I'm glad Y/N is in good hands at hospital and thank you for your help, I appreciate it."

“No need to thank me, I hope she’s doing okay.” The older man smiles and gives him a final nod as he makes his way towards his cousin.

“Charles,” one of the PR people starts as they make their way towards the duo, “you still have media–”

The look Charles gives the poor intern in return can only be described as a mix of exhaustion and frustration. He interrupts the PR person before they can finish their sentence. “Bill me.” He, then, turns to his brother as he shoots him an expectant look, “Can we go?”

“Come on, I’ll drive,” Charles hears his brother’s voice, which causes him to raise his eyebrows and receive in return, “you’re obviously too high on adrenaline right now, let me drive.”

Charles, recognizing his own state of mind, doesn't argue. He nods in agreement and takes a seat in the passenger side, grateful for his brother's support, but because he is Charles, he mumbles, “You better drive fast,” under his breath as he follows his brother out of the garage.

As the car navigates through the busy streets of Barcelona, Charles finds himself lost in his thoughts – he glances out the window, his eyes darting from building to building, as if searching for answers that lie beyond the glass. The tension in the air is palpable, the silence between the brothers punctuated only by the hum of the engine and the occasional sound of horns from other impatient drivers. He tries contacting the hospital once again, but it seems like luck is not on his side as the operator speaks to him solely in Spanish, which makes him reconsider what Carlos told him earlier. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the Hospital Quirónsalud Barcelona comes into view. Charles feels a surge of hope mixed with anxiety as Lorenzo skilfully manoeuvres the car into a parking spot. Charles is out of the car before Lorenzo even turns off the engine, which earns him a scolding from his brother, but he’s almost halfway through the walk to the entrance as he waves Lorenzo off.

As Charles approaches the entrance of the hospital, his pace quickens with a mix of urgency and concern. The automatic doors slide open, welcoming him into the bustling lobby. The sterile smell of disinfectant fills his nostrils, and the sound of footsteps echoes through the halls.

He makes his way to the reception desk, where a receptionist greets him with a warm smile, and (thankfully) speaks in English, “Good evening, how can I help you?”

Breathing heavily, Charles tries to gather his thoughts and speak clearly. “My girlfriend was admitted through ER earlier today, Y/N Y/LN. Can you please tell me her room number and how she’s doing?”

The receptionist nods sympathetically. “I understand your concern, let me check the system for you.” She begins typing on her computer, her fingers dancing across the keyboard. After a few moments, she looks up at Charles. “I do see her in our system, but I don't have access to that information. You'll need to speak with someone from the emergency department.”

Frustration wells up within Charles, but he takes a deep breath and reminds himself to stay calm. "Can you at least direct me to the emergency department?"

The receptionist offers an understanding smile. "Of course. Head down this corridor and take the first right. You'll find the emergency department entrance on your left."

Thanking the receptionist, Charles follows her directions, his heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and worry. He walks briskly, determined to reach Y/N's side as quickly as possible. As he enters the emergency department, the sense of urgency intensifies – he watches the hustle and bustle of the hospital; how the medical staff rush by, attending to patients in need and people who are waiting to see their loved ones just like him. His legs aimlessly takes him to the nearest a nurse station and approaches a nurse who seems available. “Excuse me, Miss” he calls out, trying to catch her attention. The nurse turns to him with a professional yet compassionate gaze. “I'm looking for my girlfriend, Y/N Y/LN. Can you please tell me where I can find her?”

“Let me check her records,” the nurse smiles at him, an attempt to calm him and goes through the papers on the chart in her hands. “Here she is, it seems that she was recently moved – she’s supposed be in room 376, it’s on the third level, at the end of the main hallway.”

Relief floods over Charles as he receives the information from the nurse. He manages a grateful smile and nods in appreciation. "Thank you so much. I'll head there right away."

After thanking the nurse, Charles makes his way towards the elevators, following the signs that lead him to the third level. As he steps into the elevator, he can feel his heart pounding in his chest, a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. He makes sure he sends Lorenzo a text message to let him know where’s he’s headed, the ride to the third floor feels agonizingly slow, each passing floor adding to his impatience. When the elevator doors finally open, Charles steps out and finds himself in a long, well-lit hallway. He scans the room numbers, his eyes quickly landing on the sign indicating the direction of room 376. With determined strides, he makes his way down the hallway, passing by other patients' rooms and medical staff going about their duties.

Finally, he reaches room 376, and his breath catches in his throat. Taking a moment to steady himself, he gently pushes the door open, revealing a small but comforting space. Inside, he finds you lying in the hospital bed, an IV connected to your arm and one of your textbooks open on the bed beside you. He realises you’re asleep, however, as he watches you from afar. Seeing you lying there, Charles feels a mix of emotions overwhelm him—relief that you’re safe and being cared for, concern for your well-being, and a deep longing to be by your side. He approaches the bed with cautious steps, taking in your pale complexion and the weary lines etched on your face.

Gently, Charles pulls up a chair beside your bed and sits down, not wanting to disturb your much-needed rest. He reaches out and lightly brushes a strand of hair away from your face, a tender smile gracing his lips as he watches you sleep. Gently, he reaches out and takes your hand in his, offering her a tender squeeze. "Hey," he whispers softly, not wanting to startle you. "I'm here. You're going to be okay."

You stir slightly, your eyes fluttering open. A weak smile graces your lips as you recognise Charles. "Charles," she murmurs, her voice hoarse but filled with warmth. "You came."

Charles feels a surge relief wash over him, he leans in closer, his voice filled with genuine concern. "Of course, I came, I'll always be here for you, chérie. What happened? How are you feeling?"

“I’m better now,” your voice comes off hoarse, and it makes Charles cringe inwardly, “I just wanted to come to the hospital because i kept throwing up and thought I had all the signs of food poisoning – but, honey, what are you wearing?”

Charles glances down at his attire, realizing he's still in his racing gear. “I didn’t have time to change,” he explains, his head tilted to the side as he gives you a strict look, “I should have just stayed with you.”

“You had a race, Charles,” your eyes widen in recognition as you remember the race. “Oh my god, how was it? Did you–”

“The race doesn’t matter, Y/N.” Charles interrupts, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “I wish you wouldn’t try to be so independent all the time.”

He watches as your lips form a pout, your voice coming off more vulnerable than before as you ask, “What?”

"Y/N," he says softly, his voice filled with emotion. "What were you thinking? Why didn't you tell me you were feeling this sick? I could have been here for you."

You give him a guilty look, the pout on your lips becoming deeper. "I didn't want to worry you, Charles. I thought I could handle it on my own."

His frustration melts away as he takes in your weakened state. He moves closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek. "You don't have to handle everything on your own, love. I'm here for you, always. I would have been by your side if you had just let me. I should have been there with you today, not at some race when you were puking your guts out.” He pauses, his thumb caressing the back of your cheek soothingly. “I know you value your independence, and I admire that about you. But sometimes, it's okay to lean on others, especially when you're going through tough times. You don't have to carry everything on your own.”

You listen to Charles's words, and a mixture of emotions swirl within you. His concern and care touch your heart, but you also understand the frustration he expresses. With a soft sigh, you squeeze his hand gently. You shift slightly in the bed, wincing at the discomfort. "Being independent has been a part of me for so long, and it's hard to let go of that mindset completely. But I'm learning, slowly, to find a balance, and I'm learning to lean on you when I need to and to share my burdens with you." You give him the softest smile you can muster, “I promise I’ll try to be better, darling.”

His thumb brushes away a tear from your cheek, his touch gentle and comforting. "You don't have to apologize, mignon. I understand why you wanted me to race, but your health and well-being will always be my priority. I don't want you to ever feel like you have to face things alone. We're a team, remember?"

You nod, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know we are, and I’m sorry for worrying you, darling." You lean into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against your skin, and with a soft sigh, you begin speaking again. "I promise that I’ll lean on you more and remember that we’re a team.”

Charles leans down, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. "That's all I ask, love. Just remember that you have me, and I'll always be here for you, okay? I love you."

As you feel his lips on your forehead, a sense of comfort and love washes over you. You gaze into his eyes, filled with gratitude and affection. "I love you too, Charles," you whisper, your voice filled with sincerity. "Thank you for always being there for me, even when I push you away. I'm so grateful to have you by my side."

#monzabee #requests open #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 smut #formula 1 #fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc fluff

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persphonesorchid · 2 years

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Auburn Skies - MYG

Summary: Everyone knows that if your best friend has a little sister, she's off limits. That, and the fact that your best friend will probably kill you if you even think about going near his sister. Yoongi knows this. There's no way he could tell Namjoon that once upon a time you kissed him, drunk in his living room after a break up. So much time's passed since then, too much time to bring it up now, but Yoongi still thinks about it, he's still a little hopeful. Now you're here at the lake house because Namjoon brought you and you clearly have something you want to say to Yoongi.

Namjoon's gonna kill him.

Genre: 18+, fluff, angst, humor.

Word count: 12k

Warning(s): 18+, smut, oral (m+f receiving) unprotected sex, porn is mentioned. Yoongi and Y/n are BOTH stupid and they need help. Taehyung's trying his best, Seokjin is also trying his best but subtler. Yoongi's convinced that Namjoon's out to get him at every turn. Slight jealousy. Y/n and Yoongi have no idea how to actually hold a conversation like adults, until they do.

Notes: My addition to the Autumn Leaves Collab, hosted by the beautiful @bangtansmauyeondan !! I had so much fun working on this, and I met so many beautiful people that I'm so grateful for, so happy to call my friends 🥺 I love y'all! Please check out the other authors' fics on the Collab Masterlist! Everyone worked so hard, give my girls some love! Shout out to @blog-name-idk and @xpeachesncream for being absolute aNGELS, beta reading and helping me out when I panicked over this lol, and @madbutgloriouspond for helping me brainstorm. I hope you guys enjoy!! Please leave feedback, I'm nothing but a poor soul seeking validation (and motivation!) to keep going.

If you like my content, please, consider donating if you're able - Here

"You're staring." Seokjin nudges Yoongi's arm with his, snapping him out of his daze. He catches Seokjin's smirk, and there's a twinkle in his eye that promises nothing good. Yoongi pulls his eyes away from your form, sitting in a chair on the dock away from everyone else with a book in your hand. You're bundled up in a thick sweater and cozy sweatpants, completely lost in your book.

"Was not." Yoongi feels the need to deny it, distracting himself with cutting up onions, focusing on the way the blade of the knife cuts through the vegetable and definitely not the way Seokjin was wiggling his eyebrows at him.

"Sure. I believe you."

Somewhere inside, there is music playing. A Lo-Fi beat that plays softly under the sound of rain. It's kind of sad, if Yoongi is being honest, but he supposes that autumn is a sad season. Nothing but changes all around. The leaves change colours, mixing like paint on an easel in the hands of a melancholy artist drowning in his own solitude. They shift and the vibrancy of summer fades until they die, falling off their homes to go drifting in the wind, or land on the ground to become everyone's problem.

He doesn't really like autumn, when winter is right around the corner and he can feel the cold seeping into his bones no matter how many layers he wears. Always leaving his cheeks and his nose red, and his fingers hurting when the chill gets to them.

You enjoy it though, even reminded him when he picked up you and Namjoon this morning. You were kicking at the pile of leaves in front of Namjoon's apartment complex like a kid, laughing like you didn't have a worry in the world. You greeted him like you hadn't seen him in years, running up to him with Namjoon's scarf wrapped awkwardly around your neck like you were in a rush.

Namjoon is currently skipping stones with Jungkook near the lake's edge, and Yoongi can see he's halfway to giving up because Jungkook is on his competitive streak again.

Namjoon is one of his closest friends. He met him in college when they were both fresh out of highschool and riding on shotgun dreams of being more than what they are. He remembers meeting you during spring break of his junior year, and you were blabbering about getting accepted into the same college as Namjoon; determined to follow your brother to the end of time.

The only word to describe your first meeting was awkward, to say the least. He'd only ever heard of you, with Namjoon going off about you whenever Yoongi lent his ear. His baby sister who was doing so well in school, his baby sister, who to Namjoon, practically hung the moon in the sky. Now, Yoongi thinks he's naturally awkward when meeting new people, he can't help it. Getting to know someone is hard no matter how much you hear about them, even though you've got a pretty good impression just by word of mouth. There were shy 'hi's' and the most soul crushing 'See you later's' when there's little to no chance of ever seeing that person again. Sweaty, nervous hands meeting in shakes and straight lipped smiles.

Now, Yoongi was sure he wasn't too bad at it. And you were good, smiling brightly, not looking as awkward as he felt. What was awkward was the way Namjoon had excused himself to his parent's kitchen, pretending to get a glass of water. Yoongi had followed him with his eyes, because why was he leaving him standing in front of his sister alone?

Yoongi still remembers the chill that went down his spine that morning, as Namjoon watched him dead in the eyes over your head. A look Yoongi had never once received from him before, one that simply said: "If you think anything about my sister that isn't innocent; you will die."

As a best friend, Yoongi respected that. As a man, Yoongi valued his life. He wouldn't dare. It's the code, do not, under any circumstances, think about your best friend's sister romantically or less. You were off limits from the day Namjoon showed Yoongi that picture of you.

Off limits.

Yoongi heard that loud and clear and Namjoon hadn't said a word that day.

You were off limits, still, when you'd called him at ass o'clock in the morning - not Namjoon, your brother who trusted with everything - about some smarmy asshole who thought it was funny to break your heart. When he picked you up outside a bar where you were supposed to meet your boyfriend of a year, standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, crying and slightly drunk.

Looking beautiful even when you had stumbled your way to his car, asking what did you do to deserve getting cheated on. He didn't answer you then, he had too much to say and it wasn't the time, not when you were drunk and wouldn't remember a thing when the sun came up. So he cranked up the heat in his car, and white knuckled the steering wheel the whole drive to his apartment, because yours was too far and it was late.

Off the whole damn table, when you'd kissed him on the mouth, still drunk, still crying and clinging onto him in his living room. He pushed you gently away, even as he licked his lips to chase the taste of you. Keeping the distance between you both wide as he watched you shatter like glass in his hold. You apologized through your sobs, and Yoongi's own heart broke as he tried and failed to pick up the pieces of yours scattered at your feet.

You asked him not to tell Namjoon, and Yoongi never said a damn word. You slept in his bed that night, in his clothes that were way too big for you, and left the next day like nothing happened.

You're still off limits now, even as you've grown up and are going into your senior year. Now that Yoongi finished college and had a job like a responsible adult, now his biggest worry is the price of bread climbing up and whatever the hell was on the news.

"Namjoon, we agreed that you weren't gonna come within 10ft of this space."

Yoongi looks up to find Namjoon wandering aimlessly towards them, holding a bowl of something in his hand. He stops dead in his tracks though, frowning, "I'm not that clumsy."

Yoongi and Seokjin share a look, before raising an eyebrow each at Namjoon. He sighs, lifting the bowl in his hand, "Hobi told me to tell you that Jungkook told him..."

"For Christ's sake..." Seokjin sighs, "Just get over here."

Namjoon grins like a kid, hobbling over to place the bowl next to Yoongi's busy hands. The bowl filled with slices of pork belly that Yoongi forgot he told Namjoon to fetch for him a long while ago. Too distracted to ask about it when he was skipping stones with Jungkook, he didn't even notice when he'd moved to get it.

He wonders what else he missed, lost in his own thoughts, and his eyes dart around to catch sight of you. Of course, you were no longer in the spot you'd claimed, now standing next to Jungkook. Both of you are laughing at Jimin, who was struggling to reach a branch of a tree that Jungkook could easily reach without stretching. You attempt it, jumping to reach, but you just don't make it and it's Jimin's turn to laugh, all crescent eyes and round cheeks.

At least someone's having fun.

Seokjin was mumbling something as he pokes at the coals in the grill, and Yoongi avoids looking at Namjoon because he realised he's staring again. He's awfully quiet, and Yoongi isn't sure if it's because of him, and he really doesn't want to risk his life here.

"'Autumn is the season that teaches us that change can be beautiful.'" Namjoon says, and Yoongi finds that he wasn't even looking his way. Instead, he was watching the lake with an odd look in his eyes, distant, like if he was thinking about something too hard and struggling to grasp it. At the same time though, he looked like he knew exactly what he was talking about; smiling to himself. He pats Yoongi cryptically on the back - a little forcefully - catching him off guard, and says nothing more as he walks away.

"We all know what it means when Joon starts quoting." Seokjin snickers, "You're so screwed."

Yoongi hums, and Seokjin gives him a knowing look, a look that says way more than what Yoongi is comfortable with, and he wonders, briefly, if he was being obvious, or if Seokjin was more observant than he gave him credit for.

"I hope the weather holds up." Seokjin mumbles, head tilted up and leaning slightly forward over the table to see past the awning above, he watches the sky with a small frown, "Said it was gonna rain sometime today."

Yoongi is grateful for the subject change, dumping the seasoning he chopped up into a bowl. He glances at the lake, at the reflection of the clouds on the water, they look a little gray with the promise of rain. He doesn't mind the rain, though, if it does, Taehyung's plan of sitting around the fire with marshmallows on a wire would be completely dashed.

Yoongi's not sure he could deal with the kid pouting all night because of it, and he hoped that the weather held up, too.

When lunch was ready, it was a little after two pm. The picnic table was clear of leaves that were raked to the side and into piles to deal with later. Hoseok finally crawled out of the bunk room, hair sticking up in odd angles and eyes sleepy still as he helped set the table with you and Jimin.

Yoongi walks over to the table with the small cooler he'd brought with him, packed full with ice and cans of beer, because what's lunch without it?

Seokjin walks behind, still prattling on about the weather, hoping for a little sunshine later on so he could get in the rowboat and swing his fishing rod around. He may have asked Yoongi if he wanted to come with him, but Yoongi was once again distracted; your soft laugh tunnelling his focus.

He sighs, internally, because God forbid anyone hears and starts asking invasive questions. Taehyung, of course, was clinging to you, not letting you move two spaces out of his orbit. Which of course, wasn't strange, Taehyung was just clingy that way; always stuck to someone like a kitten that hasn't yet learned to regulate its temperature.

The sight of it though, makes Yoongi's chest ache in a way that wasn't unfamiliar to him. The kind of ache that squeezes tight and knocks the air out of him, the ache he felt that night in his apartment living room when you kissed him. Thinking about it now makes the ache worse, because Yoongi knows what that kiss was, he knows what it meant and exactly where it came from. You were reeling that night, fresh out of a relationship that ended in a way you never saw coming, and that's where it came from. You were drunk, hurting, and attached yourself emotionally to the first person to treat you nicely.

It just happened to be Yoongi at the time.

He hates to think about it that way, as though it meant nothing when he wanted it to mean something. Yoongi likes to take things the way they came, there's nothing more than what it was, nothing to decipher or to sit and mull over. Not like he did that night, sitting up late on his couch, long after you'd passed out, then beating himself up about the whole thing because he was this close to laying his heart out at that moment.

He's glad he didn't. When you left the morning after, he wasn't even awake, woke up to his empty bed and quiet apartment. No note, no text - not that you owed him anything - so he left it as it was; unspoken.

He passes everyone a beer, avoiding your gaze when your hand brushes his, ignoring the soft smile on your lips that brightens your eyes and makes his chest hurt. He moves around the table and takes his seat in between Seokjin and Hoseok. He's sitting directly across from you, and to his rotten luck, Namjoon sits to your left, which puts Yoongi within his direct line of sight. He wonders if he'll be able to keep his eyes to himself, not get caught staring at you, even if your brother wasn't even paying him mind. Yoongi is cautious, still.

The chatter that fills the air is gentle, with laughs and catching up with each other. It was hard to find the time to do things like this, everyone was busy with their own schedules; the younger ones had school, the rest of them had work. Shit always get in the way.

Yoongi eyes Taehyung, who sits to your right and was poking at your arm more than he was eating. He had half a mind to tell Taehyung to quit it, the little devil on his shoulder telling him that he should; poking at his cheek and pointing. It isn't his place, though.

There's a twinkle in Taehyung's eye when their eyes meet, something mischievous that Yoongi would normally see from him when he was up to something. He turns slightly to you, whispering something to you with a hand covering the movement of his lips.

Yoongi's curious, he wonders what he's saying that makes your cheeks flush a pretty shade. Wonders what it is, when your eyes meet his for a second and you swat at Taehyung's hand. The younger man was clearly pleased with himself, smiling eyes meeting Yoongi's for a second too long, and Yoongi busies himself with stuffing his mouth with food.

"Think the water's cold?" Jungkook was looking out at the lake, doe eyes curious, his tongue absently fiddling with the ring in his lip.

"It's still early in the season..." Jimin answers, piling a spoonful of rice onto his plate, following Jungkook's gaze a moment after. "Wouldn't risk it though."

"I mean, you can if you want." Yoongi shrugs, "Just don't complain when you catch a cold."

Jungkook pouts, leaning his weight against Hoseok with a groan. Everyone knows Jungkook well enough to know that's exactly what he'd do, and then abuse his position as the youngest for the rest of their stay at the lake house.

The table was silent for a while, everyone occupied with stuffing their faces with the food, interrupted when Namjoon laughed at something Jimin said and choked on the rice in his mouth and is now nursing a bottle of water.

Yoongi missed this, just hanging out with his friends like they were back in college sneaking beer into the dorms and laughing over their drunken rambles. Just being.

Once lunch was over, they cleared the table of the bowls and plates, carrying everything inside to be washed up.

"I'll do the dishes," Hoseok says, balancing the large pot with plates and eating utensils in his hands.

"I'll do them, Hobi." Yoongi takes the pot from Hoseok's lax fingers, not giving him room to complain before he takes everything to the kitchen.

Yoongi misses the way Taehyung pokes your side, he did hear the smack of you hitting the offending limb, though. "I'll help you."

Yoongi feels his shoulders tense, and he tries to ignore it, setting the pot into the sink, while the boys place the other dirty dishes. He watches you for a moment, as you busy yourself packing away the seasoning and packets of spices back into their rightful places. He starts on the dishes, hyper aware of your presence somewhere behind him, but tries his best to keep it as far from the front of his mind as he could.

At some point, you switch places, and Yoongi takes up the task of drying the bowls and plates, packing them where they're supposed to be. He doesn't question it, just grateful to have something to do with his hands, mindful, to keep his head empty, because if his mind strays just a bit, he'll be thinking of things he really shouldn't. Off limit things. Like how he wished he'd just suck it up and kissed you back that night instead of pushing you away like he did. But, that would've been wrong of him, no? It wasn't the time and you weren't in the right frame of mind.

Yoongi skirts by you, packing the bowls back into the cupboard. This is awkward, maybe he should have let Hoseok do it when he said he would.

"Can I ask you something?" You suddenly ask, and Yoongi almost drops the bowl he's holding, not expecting you to speak because you've been so quiet. He glances over to the living room, where Namjoon and Jin are starting up a game of Mario Kart before he turns to look at you. Why does he always do that? It feels as though he's sneaking around for no reason whatsoever, always looking to make sure that Namjoon isn't looking at him.

"Uh, sure?" God, is it just him that's awkward? You look perfectly fine, elbow deep in soap water, scrubbing away at something in the sink, a small smile on your lips. Yoongi wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans, bringing them back up to stuff them into the pockets of his sweater. Play it cool, Min. "What's up?"

You turn your head, looking at him, and he swallows. The sink slowly drains, making that odd sucking noise as the water goes down and you look like you're struggling to grasp your words. There's a cute furrow between your brows, and Yoongi doesn't miss the way you bite your lip and look everywhere but at him.

Jin swears at Namjoon in rapid fire, in that way he does when he's got too much to say and not enough breath. Yoongi could see his arms flying up and swatting at Namjoon's shoulder, yelling about the blue shell he threw.

You take a breath, eyes settling somewhere above his head, clearly trying to block out Jin's racket, "Well...um..." You glance at him and look away, and Yoongi's just a little hopeful.

You look nervous, for once, wringing the life out of the dish towel in your hand as you press your lips together. There's a crease at your brow and Yoongi wonders what's bugging you. There were times when you'd freely spill your thoughts, up with him all ungodly hours just talking because that's what brother's best friends do, right? Offer comfort and a space to vent that isn't in the viewpoint of your sibling? He wonders what changed.

He knows though. It was that night, after that, things have been tense between you both, Yoongi just wishes it'd stop. He misses you texting him to tell him how your day went, or you constantly reminding him that he's way cooler than your older brother. He watches you now, if just to see you get even more flustered, even though he didn't know why.

Hope is an evil, never necessarily a good thing, if all it does is make you believe that something would work even though there's a slim chance that it actually would. Yoongi hates that he's hopeful right now. Hates that he's hoping that the flush of your cheeks and your nervous fidgeting has something to do with him, he hates that he wished you'd just spit it out already and stop his mind from coming up with all these things.

"Okay." You sigh, nodding more to yourself in a self-assured kind of way. Your eyes find his, briefly, before darting away, "Okay, so, I wanted to-"

"Hey, Y/n. Wanna play a round of Mario Kart with me?" Taehyung asks, walking into the kitchen with a smile, eyes filtering between you and Yoongi before they settle on you again. He pauses when you snap your mouth shut, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and slowly look at him. You and Taehyung share a look that Yoongi's not too certain he wants to know what's about; the silence between you three is too loud.

"What?" the younger man asks, "Did I interrupt something?"

"No."

"Yes."

Yoongi stares at Taehyung, trying his hardest not to glare at him, because what you wanted to say was clearly important. You were staring at him, Yoongi could feel it, but he's giving you an opening to say what you need to.

"No, Tae, you didn't. I'll play." You smile a little forcefully, finally giving the dishcloth a break and laying it down on the island counter. "I'll tell you later?" You tilt your head at Yoongi and he can only nod, hopeful again, that you really would and not find an easy out.

"Okay."

"Tae, can't we do this later or something?" You frown, speaking lowly as he wraps his arm with yours and drags you away, "I was actually really close this time."

"Yeah, no. You looked like you needed saving. So you're welcome." Taehyung shakes his head, curls swaying, "One day, little butterfly, you'll be free to spill your feelings." He sits you down on the couch next to Namjoon, who thankfully, has his earphones in his ears. Jin had already wandered off to do God knows after his defeat, leaving your brother to fiddle mindlessly with his phone.

You can hear Yoongi moving around in the kitchen, probably still packing away the dishes. Taehyung plops next to you, throwing his legs over yours and almost knocking Namjoon's phone out his hands. He starts up the game after passing you a remote, smiling at you, "He'll probably come over here to watch the game, so I'll lose and he could play against you, yeah?"

"Tae..." You groan, tilting your head back, and he pats your arm in a friendly manner, though a little firm in his delivery.

"If you don't tell him now that's fine..." He points at Namjoon with a tilt of his chin, trying to remind you of your brother's presence without being obvious. "But at least you could spend time with him. Never know what could happen." He wiggles his eyebrows.

Evidently, Taehyung's the only person who knows about that night with Yoongi. He was the one who picked you up from his apartment after all, firing question after question and not giving you room to breathe. Though he was a tad upset that he wasn't your first call when you were stranded, he understood why you'd called Yoongi. At the same time, he gave you an earful about just leaving the man hanging after you kissed him. Something you shouldn't have done in that moment, lord knows what Yoongi thinks of you now.

You've tried and failed so many times to tell Yoongi that you weren't as drunk as you seemed that night three months ago, you knew what you were doing. You were hurt, yes, but it was more out of realisation. Your relationship with your ex had been rocky at best, you'd given into his advances to hopefully put your crush on Yoongi behind you. It was easy at first, to have someone to put your focus on and give yourself to rather than to waste it on someone who didn't see you the way you saw him.

Yoongi has always seen you as his best friend's sister, nothing more. And you'd kissed him that night hoping that even for a second he'd realise, but he pushed you away and you knew there was no use hoping.

Even now, embarrassment still burns at your chest when you think about it, because what were you thinking? You'd left without saying anything to him because you were positively mortified. There were hundreds of unfinished texts that started and ended the same, with you contemplating if you should tell him or not.

More often than not, a tipsy night would find you huddled under your sheets with your finger hovering over Yoongi's contact.

It was more likely that he still saw you as the fresh out of highschool kid who followed him and your brother everywhere.

You groan loudly at your own thoughts, and Taehyung turns his head, looking between you and the TV screen, "Uh....You can play Toad if you want.."

"Huh?" The choose your character screen is up, idle, waiting for you to move your joystick around. Taehyung's already picked, "No, it's not that. I don't even like Toad, you can play him."

"That's the rudest thing that's ever come out of your mouth." Taehyung pokes your side with a finger, "What's on your mind?"

"Everything." You sigh, scrolling around to pick a random character. Don't get it wrong, you love Mario Kart as much as the next guy, but right now your mind was far, far away from this moment and the game.

Taehyung pats your thigh, "Maybe losing will help." He snickers, just as the game starts up.

"Oh, you're on." You're not gonna lose, no matter how confident Taehyung is, no one could beat you at Mario Kart.

"Cheater! TaehYUNG. Joon tell Tae to stop do- You're cheating!"

"It's literally impossible to cheat at this game!"

Yoongi leans back against the island counter, content to watch you crash and burn as Taehyung wins yet another race. His victory laugh is deep, almost unheard under the sound of your indignant screeching. The rest of the boys gathered to see what you were yelling about, finding the sight of your losing streak more than entertaining.

Yoongi had paused only for a moment, making a light snack that everyone could enjoy if they wanted to, though, it was only an excuse to make your favourite. He watches as you scoot to the edge of the couch, he can't see your expression, but he doesn't doubt that you're pouting with the cute furrow of your brows that comes with your concentration.

"Namjoon." You whine to your brother, though Namjoon's hands fly up into the air, phone and all.

"Nope, leave me out of this."

"But he's cheating!"

"I'm not! You just suck."

Yoongi picks up the tray of Hotteok as soon as everyone calms down, carrying it over to the group. He rests the tray down on the coffee table, careful to move quickly so he doesn't block the screen for too long.

"Oh! Sweet! Thanks Yoongi." Namjoon is the first to move, leaning forward to grab one.

"Wait, Joon. They're ho-" Yoongi snaps his mouth shut as Namjoon has already picked it up. He promptly drops it, pulling air through his teeth before blowing on his fingertips.

"Ow." Namjoon pouts at his fingers, rubbing them against the material of his grey sweats.

Yoongi sighs, "Be careful, would you?" He focuses on the TV screen, you're directly behind Taehyung, throwing a blue shell that sends him skidding off the road just in time for you to cross the finish line.

"Ha!" You push at Taehyung's shoulder in your excitement, sending him against Namjoon, who drops his Hotteok on the floor.

Namjoon stares forlornly at the pancake for a quiet moment, while you do a victory wiggle in your place, his misfortune ignored.

"Well there you go, who wants to play?" Taehyung asks, glancing around the room. Jungkook waves his arm, getting up from his space on the floor by Hoseok's legs to totter over. "Yoongi! Nice of you to volunteer."

"What? I didn't...?" Yoongi stares at Taehyung like he's sprouted a second head.

Taehyung ignores him.

"Hey I wanted to play..." Jungkook whines, Taehyung ignores him, too.

"Guys, let's go take a nap in the bunk room." He stretches his long legs over Namjoon's, pulling him up by the arms and shares a look with Jungkook who was likely, as confused as everyone else.

"I'm not tired, though. I napped when I got here." Hoseok pipes up, pressing his lips together when Jimin not so subtly nudges his side with an elbow.

"Let's go take a nap." Taehyung repeats, eyes narrowing slightly at Hoseok. He relents under Taehyung's gaze, sighing as he stands and drags Jimin and a complaining Jungkook.

Taehyung smiles brightly, dropping his hands heavily on Yoongi's shoulders. Yoongi doesn't know what the kid's playing at, but allows him to direct him to sit next to you.

Yoongi shares a look with Seokjin, who shrugs and stands to leave too, linking his arm with Namjoon, "I found a book I think you'd like Joon. But we have to look for it, it's lost in my bedroom somewhere..."

"Oh...Kay? Sure."

Their voices trail off as they head up the stairs, and Taehyung waves as he backs out of the living room, with a sweet - suspicious - boxy smile."Have fun you two!"

"Okay what the hell." Yoongi mutters, turning his head to look at you. You didn't look his way, staring dead ahead at the TV, fingers tapping lightly at the control.

He hears you take a breath, "Wanna play Toad?"

"Uh...sure."

A few minutes go by before Yoongi could finally relax, getting comfortable on the couch focusing on the game and not the fact that you're less than a metre away from him. You're nibbling on a piece of hotteok, a little too quiet for Yoongi's liking. He was expecting you to be yelling because he's way ahead of you.

"So...can I ask you a question?" Yoongi keeps his eyes on the screen as he asks, afraid to look at you because he might slip up or stop all together. He could already hear the little voice in his head screaming at him to shut up. "I just wanna ask about...what you wanted to tell me in the kitchen?"

Yoongi doesn't normally pry, people's business are theirs and not his. But curiosity is driving him up a wall and he just needs to know. Maybe he was being foolishly hopeful again, thinking that whatever it was had something to do with him. That's why you hadn't said anything when Taehyung interrupted, right?

Yoongi wonders what Taehyung's deal was, first he was being too clingy with you - not that it's any of his business - and now he's acting so painfully obvious; trying to get you both in a room alone. It didn't go over Yoongi's head, as not a lot of things do.

He purposely lets you win the race, though, your victory was unsounded as you set the controller aside. "Right... kitchen..."

"You know you could tell me anything, right?" Yoongi says softly, fingers just wanting to reach for yours, if just to offer comfort. He tucks them against his palm though, and into the pouch of his sweater for an extra precaution.

"Yeah I know," You smile faintly, "like old times right?"

"Yeah exactly, and I won't judge, you know that. So whatever it is, just say it."

Maybe his words were a bit harsh? You stiffen a bit in place, sighing through your nose before you turn to look at him. The determination from earlier is back in your eyes again, and Yoongi finds it impossible to hold your gaze, and he's the first to look away this time. Keep it together, will you?

He feels heat climbing his neck, racing to each of his cheeks and he hopes to god you just think he's going pink because it's cold in here. Seokjin really needs to get that crappy heater fixed so Yoongi can blame something if you ask about it.

"Okay so remember the time when you-"

"You two are being awfully quiet." Seokjin pokes his head into the room, staring at you both, but not too long, before his eyes find the tv screen. "Oh, Yoongi, did you win?"

"No..." Yoongi sighs, watching as you shut him out once more.

"Really? It was so quiet..."

You make an offended sound in the back of your throat, straightening a bit to glare at Seokjin.

"Yoongi, can you help me with the firepit?"

Yoongi follows Seokjin outside along the wrap-around porch, the sun was halfway in its descent, painting the sky in a flurry of soft colours. The lake glistens with amber crystals, catching the sun's sleepy gaze as it drifts slowly off behind the hills; almost out of sight.

The sunken fire pit was in the backyard, something Yoongi helped Seokjin install last year. He's quite proud of it really, he did most of the heavy lifting while Seokjin stood around telling him how and where he wanted things like a glorified dictator.

As Seokjin gathers the firewood and steps down the three steps to throw the logs into the firepit, Yoongi realises that he didn't actually need any help.

"Watching you try to talk to Y/n is so painful. Like that time I broke my arm but worse."

"I actually wasn't doing the talking." Yoongi grumbles, enjoying the satisfying crunch of gravel under his sandals as he walks over to the cushioned semi circle bench and sits to watch Seokjin do all the work. "You have terrible timing."

Seokjin scoffs, shaking his head, "It's a wonder Namjoon hasn't figured it out yet...you're so obvious."

Yoongi feels like Seokjin just isn't listening to him, continuing his mission of getting the fire going; his words completely ignored.

"Joon is oblivious sometimes."

"You are too."

"Here, this one's longer."

Yoongi watches as Seokjin trades wires with Jungkook, patting him on the shoulder as the younger man happily sticks his marshmallow on the end of his wire. As usual when they're all together, there's laughter in the air, and the lightness Yoongi feels in his chest is something he misses when he's alone.

He watches the moon rise behind the trees, full and glowing brightly in the cloudless sky. The fire was warm, the burning wood crackling softly, sending little glowing sparks up into the air. Everyone had their own bag of marshmallows for toasting, with chocolate and biscuits for s'mores.

"This is nice," Hoseok comments, smacking Jimin's hand away from the smores he was setting up, tucking them into the corner of a small bowl he brought. Jimin gets one anyway; sneaking it away while Hoseok wasn't looking.

"Yeah, we haven't done this in forever." Namjoon sticks the wire with his marshmallow a little too close to the fire.

"It's gonna burn if you do it like that." Yoongi reaches over and raises Namjoon's hand higher.

"When it's burnt it's the best, though."

"Are you a sadist?" Taehyung frowns at Jungkook, "it's better when it's just a little toasty."

"It won't melt inside if you play kiss and tell with the fire. You gotta burn it." Jungkook's marshmallow was just on the edge of charred and Yoongi watches with mild disgust as he smushes the thing between pieces of chocolate and unsweetened biscuits. He shoves the entire thing in his mouth and closes his eyes, moaning around the treat like it's the best thing he's ever tasted.

"Um? There's no way you're enjoying that." Hoseok didn't try to hide how he felt about it, narrowing his eyes at Jungkook. "Stop moaning like that!"

"I wasn't moaning!"

"Yes you were!"

Yoongi shakes his head, turning to look at you, who sat next to him, eating out of your own bag of marshmallows. The wire Seokjin had given you is still in your lap, untouched.

"Want me to make one for you?" He asks softly, already sticking a marshmallow on his wire. He hangs it over the fire and twirls it so it gets nice and brown, "Do you want it with the cookies?"

"Yeah, thanks." You smile sweetly at him, and Yoongi feels his heart stutter in his chest.

Once he's finished assembling the s'more, he hands it over to you. You take a bite out of it, and Yoongi struggles to breathe the very next second at the sound you make, turning his head swiftly to stare into the fire as though it would save him.

"Dude, Y/n. That's gotta be the best s'more ever created." Taehyung says, snickering from across the firepit, "Yoongi make me one, too!"

"You can make it yourself." Yoongi's cheeks flush, passing you a bottle of water when you choke.

"I wanna make happy noises, too."

When the fire in the pit smolders and the embers of the wood burn orange, everyone is ready to call it a night. The younger ones escape to the second floor bunk room first, Seokjin and Hoseok right behind them.

Hoseok is trying to convince Seokjin to flip a coin for the master bedroom while they go up the stairs.

"Owner's rights, Hobi."

"You have any idea what it's like to share a bathroom with those three? Have a heart!"

Their voices fade, and Yoongi is left standing in the entryway with you and Namjoon, feeling awkward and not quite sure what he should do with his hands. So he shoves them in the pockets of his sweatpants, and drags his feet towards the kitchen, suddenly thirsty.

You and Namjoon are talking in hushed tones, too quiet for him to hear, but he pays it no mind, it isn't his business, really.

You come in a second later, moving to the fridge just as Yoongi moves past you, and he's a little curious, a little worried, because you look a bit upset. There's a frown tugging at the corner of your mouth as you crack open a bottle of water.

"Everything okay?" Yoongi asks softly, fingers just itching to reach out for you, but he holds his own bottled water a little tighter instead.

"Yeah...Joon is just..." You shake your head, "Are you staying up to watch the movie with us?"

Your change of subject didn't surprise Yoongi, you've been doing that a lot today. He lifts his shoulder in a shrug, "I might...do you want me to?"

Yoongi would give you anything you ask for right now, hell, he'd find a way to pull the moon from the sky if you asked it of him.

"Huh?" Your eyes seems panicked for a second as they dart away to stare off elsewhere. "If you want to, it's up to you really."

"Then I'll watch." He gives an easy smile, "Are you sure you're okay?" He steps closer, a hand meeting your cheek gently, unintentionally and without Yoongi's consent. Simply out of his need to offer you comfort when he can, and maybe it's his wishful thinking, maybe it's that stupid thing called hope again; Yoongi swears you lean into his touch. Your skin is warm, like cooling tea on a winter's morning.

"I'm fine," You're staring at his lips as you say this, and Yoongi's heart skips before it gallops, threatening to burst from his chest. Maybe he's imagining it, but you move a step closer, and he does too, leaning down a bit to meet your height, "I just wanted to.."

Just another inch, if he moves just an inch closer. You're so close now that your exhales mingles with his in the space between you both, he could feel the chill seeping off the bottled water you hold, pressed against his stomach where your hands linger.

Yoongi decides he's not going to be awkward right now, he's going to be brave and just do this. He's going to kiss you and pour everything he feels into it, and hope - prays - that you feel it too.

"Ahem."

You and Yoongi both spring apart like teenagers caught doing something they shouldn't. Yoongi's cheeks are heating up too quickly for him to stop it, and yours are too, and he doesn't want to turn around because he knows who's behind him.

Think fast, Yoongi. Think.

"I hope your eye feels better. You should kiss - rinse! Rinse with warm water. 'Cause you know...germs...could uh.... get in there.... "

Really? Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut, already anticipating his death when he turns to face the grim reaper behind him.

Namjoon stands in the kitchen doorway, eyebrow raised, doing that thing he does with his jaw. Yoongi feels a little faint, looking at the ugly painting Taehyung convinced Seokjin to buy and hang up in the living room over his head.

"Y/n had something in her eye and I was just checking." He looks back at you and you look just as confused as he's feeling, smiling though, as if his misery is funny to you. "R-remember. Warm water, okay?"

With that he leaves, not looking at Namjoon, who's gaze he could feel at the back of his head.

"Joon, are you serious?" Your voice was a harsh whisper, a little loud in the silence of the kitchen.

Yoongi walks away, hands in his pockets, not catching Namjoon's reply as he makes his escape. What the fuck was that?

"Let's watch The Conjuring."

"Fuck that." Hoseok puts his palms up, "Unless you're willing to cuddle me to sleep, we're not watching that movie."

A chorus of groans fills the room, "For the love of God, just pick something already. Not you, Jungkook."

"It's not my fault Hobi's a coward."

Hoseok's reaches over Seokjin to smack the back of Jungkook's head, who immediately retaliates by hitting Seokjin instead. The three of them trade playful smacks for a moment, while Taehyung and Jimin argue about which movie would be best to watch.

"Okay let's just all pick something." You say, pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers, "Rock, paper, scissors, whoever wins; we'll watch."

Terrible idea really, everyone knows Jungkook is going to win.

Yoongi opts out, not really caring what goes up on the screen. He's sitting with his hands under his thighs, trying to keep them warm but at the same time, keeping them from doing something stupid. You're right next to him on the couch, he's once again hyper aware of your closeness, the way your arm would brush his every time you moved, the scent of your shampoo, soft and fruit scented.

He focuses on the way a single tear slips from Hoseok's eye, the way he tries to make himself as small as possible on the other couch next to Seokjin with a white knuckled grip on the latter's sweater. Jungkook triumphs in his endeavour of beating everyone who played against him, laughing, carefree and malicious as he pulls up The Conjuring.

Hoseok keeps his head tucked behind Seokjin's shoulder for most of the movie, clinging to him and jumping at every loud sound from the TV; poor guy's going through it.

Yoongi is just barely watching, staring at the screen, but not really following along - he has no idea what's going on. Mind too distracted with the fact that you chose to sit next to him and not next to anyone else. He's still reeling from the incident in the kitchen, glancing at Namjoon who was stuffing his face with popcorn, form outlined in the glow of the tv.

He could feel the warmth of your thigh through his sweatpants, and every little movement you'd make at the jumpscares and the loud sounds.

Hoseok dips halfway through, going up the darkened upstairs hallway with his phone torch on. Jungkook had the audacity to fall asleep, drooling on Seokjin's shoulder and mumbling unintelligible words; unbothered.

"I'm going to bed." Yoongi says to you, not really sleepy, but not interested in the movie enough to stay and watch. You grab at his hand and he pauses, "What?"

"You're leaving me here to suffer?"

"You're a big girl, you can take it." He shrugs, patting your hand before getting up. "Night guys."

Yoongi lays quietly in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, unable to sleep. He turns his head, looking at the clock that blinks sleepily back at him and sighs, it's getting later into the night and sleep continues to evade him.

The house seemed to have quieted, the sound of Jimin and Taehyung arguing about who gets to use the upstairs bathroom first stopped a while ago, though, the stillness only allowed Yoongi's mind to wander off. He wonders if you're sleeping yet, he knows you have trouble sometimes, a common curse you both share.

He wonders about what you and Namjoon argued about, if it had anything to do with him. God he hopes not. The last thing he wants is for you and your brother to fall out because of him.

There's a soft knock on his door, quiet enough that he almost misses it. Just almost.

Yoongi gets out of bed, dragging his feet to the door. He isn't completely shocked to find you on the other side, looking like you're two seconds from walking away. Your hand still hovers, eyes impossibly big when they meet his in the soft light of the downstairs hallway.

"Hi." You say, softly, hand falling and gripping at the hem of a tee shirt he's sure belongs to Namjoon.

"...Hi?" Yoongi's brows furrow, not quite sure what you're doing knocking on his door at one in the morning, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to talk to you..." He lets you shuffle into his room, and you walk over to the bed while he closes the door.

"What I wanted to tell you earlier..." You sit on his bed, a good distance away, enough to leave the space between you both cold and Yoongi longing for you to come closer. You seem to be struggling, staying quiet for a little too long.

"Hey." Yoongi calls, "Whatever it is, you can tell me, okay? You know I'd never judge you." He feels the need to repeat himself, just in case you need to hear it again.

"You will." You glance at him, bottom lip caught between your teeth, and you shake your head, "This was stupid..."

"Hey, hey." Yoongi grabs your wrist, stopping you from getting up. "How about I look over there?" He points at a random spot beside him with a thumb, "I won't look at you and you can just say it." He turns for good measure, staring at the wall on the far side of the room.

You're silent for a moment, a long moment that has Yoongi wondering. Maybe he should stop pestering you about it, bury his curiosity - his concern - in a box somewhere to forget about. He's been on your back about it for most of the day, granted, the universe apparently didn't want you to say anything, not with the way you were constantly interrupted every time you tried to talk about it. He should take that as a sign and drop it all together.

"You okay back there?" Yoongi asks softly, turning his head slightly, but not facing you.

"I wasn't really drunk." You say

Confused, Yoongi's brows furrow, "Huh?" He turns to face you, "What are you talking about?"

"The night you picked me up outside that bar." You're not looking at him, instead, you're looking down at your hands in your lap. The events of that night comes rushing to the front of Yoongi's mind, the way you kissed him, how soft your lips were.

"Wait, so..." Something in Yoongi's ears was buzzing, loud and distracting, as realization dawned, he feels a heat rising from his toes. "You-" he stands quickly from the bed, now that he knows exactly why you've been trying to say all day, he thinks he just might lose it.

"Why'd you leave without saying anything?" It's the first thing out of his mouth and Yoongi wishes he'd just shut up.

"I was embarrassed that I just kissed you out of nowhere like that. And you pushed me away, what else was I supposed to do?" You say in a rush, "I know you only see me as Namjoon's little sister."

"I don't." Yoongi says, and at your pause, his palms start to sweat, heart kicking against his ribcage. "Why did you kiss me that night?"

"You probably think it was because I was drunk. That wasn't it." You look him in the eye, "I wanted to."

Yoongi takes a breath and a moment to think carefully about what he's about to say, "Y/n." He runs his palms against his thighs, bottom lip caught between his teeth. "You were drunk. Just out of a relationship and you only kissed me because you were hurting, that's it."

"That's not-" You sigh loudly, pursing your lips and staring at the ceiling, "Do you even know why I dated that idiot? It's because you..." You trail off, picking at a loose thread on your t shirt.

Yoongi waits, giving you the moment you need to gather your words.

"I dated him so that I could forget you." You say softly, not looking at him, and Yoongi feels like he's buffering, like a frozen computer screen. Just standing there as he processes your words, it's taking a while to sink in, or they have, Yoongi is only trying to understand them. "I thought that dating him you would..."

Yoongi sighs, "Tell me something, yeah?"

You nod quietly, waiting. Yoongi watches you for a moment, he's more curious now, "How long?"

He watches as you fluster, eyes darting around to look at anywhere that isn't him. The way your fingers pinch at the dark sheets on the bed, you draw your bottom lip between your teeth and Yoongi just wants to kiss you. But as he's been doing all day, he gives you a moment; Yoongi is nothing but patient.

"Since we met?"

Is that a question? There Yoongi goes buffering again. He blinks a couple of times, mind going through the motions of his forced epiphany. The moments when you used to follow him and Namjoon around, all the staying up late texting as though you both were more than you were at the time.

"I really really like you and I tried to show you that night, but well..."

You get up from his bed with a sigh and step towards him and Yoongi tries his best not to take a step back, he allows you to reach him, to stand close enough for him to touch. He's panicking, on the inside, a voice in the back of his mind telling him that this is a terrible idea and that he should probably stop you.

He can't bring himself to, words stuck in his throat.

You're closer now, Yoongi could feel the warmth of you, and he swears this time that he'll be brave. So he kisses you first, fingers tangling in your hair, a hand gripping your waist to pull you even closer. He feels your hands against his chest as his eyes close, your lips are warm and as soft as he remembers, and he groans at the taste of you. His tongue finds yours, slowly, sliding against yours and he wants to savour this, commit your every sound to memory. Yoongi groans when your hands slide into his hair, tugging lightly at the nape of his neck.

He pulls back for air, lungs trying to take in as much air as possible, too quickly, he feels lightheaded. But that could just be because of you. He presses a fleeting kiss at the corner of your mouth, nose brushing against yours lightly. He's pretty sure this is what being high feels like, the rushing of his blood in his ears and the tingling at the tips of his fingers.

"You're gonna end me." Namjoon will too. The thought alone was enough to make Yoongi pause, realise the grip he had on your hips. One of his hands is just shy of the exposed skin under your tee shirt, hyper aware of the way your chest is pressed to his, your lips on his neck.

Namjoon is going to kill him.

He feels your teeth nip at the skin of his neck and he hisses between his teeth, your tongue follows. He pulls away, pushing you from him gently to take a couple steps back. He sees the question in your eyes, the soft furrow of your brows. He sighs through his nose, thinking about how much of a terrible idea this was, and how Namjoon would very likely drown him in the lake.

"Y/n...we can't." This was the reason he pushed you away the first time. Yoongi likes to think ahead, think about all the outcomes of a situation before he walks into it. This could go two ways, and Yoongi's mind can only focus on the worst scenario. What if this goes wrong? What if doing this now ruins everything, he'd not only lose you, but Namjoon as well.

He sees your pout and he looks away, wondering why he can't just let it happen and deal with the consequences later. But Yoongi isn't like that. He likes to sit and over think things.

"Is this about Namjoon?"

Yoongi startles at your question, jolting a bit as he drops his hands from your waist, fingers curling against his palm. He's not as good at hiding his thoughts as he presumed, or you just knew him too well for his own good. He answers your question with a silent nod, not meeting your eyes in the darkness of his room.

"Yoongi. He wouldn't care. Namjoon can't do anything, what I do isn't his business."

Yoongi goes to argue that that's not the point. You were so off the mark that he almost laughed, Namjoon wouldn't care what you thought. He wouldn't be able to look past Yoongi even thinking about touching you. So much for being brave.

You sigh, and Yoongi catches the hurt in the sound.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't push me away again, please." You reach for him and Yoongi doesn't stop you, because he can; he doesn't want to. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."

"Are you sure?" He asks seriously, catching your wrist, ducking his head so that he could meet your eyes properly, "Tell me now that this is okay because when I start I won't stop."

You barely got to nod before Yoongi was kissing you again, pouring everything he had into it, hands moving down to grip at your ass in your cotton shorts. He takes careful steps, walking you backwards towards the bed.

"Just let me take care of you, yeah?" Yoongi gently pushes you back onto the bed, taking his time to strip you out of your clothes. Not letting his worries and doubts stop him from telling you how beautiful you are, or from kissing every inch of skin revealed to his eyes.

He kisses his way down your thighs once your shorts and panties are out of the way, stopping every now and then to nibble at the soft flesh. Your little sighs and moans are something he wants to record and keep with him forever, even though he wouldn't need them to remember.

He touches you lightly, just to tease, sliding his hands down your thighs, eyes locked on your glistening pussy. He wants to draw this out, ignoring your impatient whine and the rise of your hips at his touch. He's waited so long for this, wanting to taste you beyond the kiss you shared so long ago, Yoongi wants to make you beg. Reduce you to a mumbling mess of incoherent words, but at the same time, he too is impatient.

He shushes you gently at your call of his name, fingers parting your folds and watching the way your pussy clenches around nothing at his gaze. "So pretty, baby."

It was your only warning before he dove in, licking a board stripe from your engerance to your clit, focusing the tip of his tongue at the bundle of nerves. You suck in a sharp breath, hand tugging at his hair and it only spurs Yoongi on. He sucks gently in your clit, tongue moving in slow figures and dips a finger into your wet heat. He groans at the way your cunt just sucks him in, arousal dripping down his hand and he adds another, curling them against the soft spot within you.

He looks up at you, past your heaving chest to your fucked out face. Your parted lips, furrowed brows, glazed eyes looking back at him.

"Yoon--fuck."

Yoongi groans lowly in his throat, pressing his tongue flat against your clit, mouth flooding with your taste. He'd stay there forever if you gave him the chance, listening to the way your breath hitches and the sound of your moans and the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks harshly. He drives his tongue inside you, and the whine that leaves you has him rutting his hips against the bed. He can't get enough of your taste, the way your pussy clenches he's around his fingers.

"You taste so good, baby." Yoongi loves the way you grip at his hair, the way you tug sends tingles down his spine. He thrusts two fingers inside you, crooking them right, hitting the spot that sends your moans into a higher octave. He can't be bothered with how loud you're being, or if anyone's awake right now and would know exactly what you're both up to. You don't seem to care either, too lost in the pleasure; moaning his name.

"F-fuck, right there," you whimper, thighs tensing around his head. Yoongi groans as he obeys, crooking his fingers and rubbing at the spot that makes you sing so sweetly. His lips never leave your clit, tongue swirling around the swollen nub in figure eights. Dragging his fingers within the tightness of your dripping heat, he could tell you're close, feeling the way your thighs tremble. "Fu-"

Your back arches off the sheets, and Yoongi moans when your release gushes out of you and into his mouth. He stays there and takes it all, until you push at him instead of pull and Yoongi lets up, running his hands up your sides in an attempt to soothe as you tremble in the after wave. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah," you squeak out and Yoongi chuckles, getting up to sit back on his thighs. He watches you for a moment, watching the way your chest heaves with your every breath, your hair a tangled mess against his pillows. His eyes trail your form, down to the mess between your thighs that twitched at his attention.

"Sure? You good to go on?" He asks to be sure, squeezing your hip gently. You nod, reaching for him and he goes without complaint, caging you within his arms and kisses you slowly. His tongue tangles with yours, and he grinds his hips down against yours, seeking friction for his aching cock, dampening the front of his sweatpants.

"Fuck that feels so good." He groans, sucking bruises into the soft skin of your neck. He angles his hips so that the length of his cock rubs directly against your clit, shuddering, it feels so good and Yoongi can't stop. He slows down though, because he could feel his release racing down his spine. "Fuck, baby."

"Wanna..." You push at his shoulders, "Wanna suck your cock." Your hands are at the drawstrings of his sweatpants already, tugging, "Wanna taste you, too."

"Fuck, okay."

Yoongi gets off the bed to shuck off his sweats, cock springing free, red and pulsing, precum beading at the tip. He chuckles at your facial expression, eyes surprised even though your bottom lip is caught between your teeth. He notes the way your eyes follow the movement of his hand, he grips his cock and squeezes, thumb catching the translucent drop and dragging it down his shaft.

"You're big."

"Good for you, then?" He pumps his shaft slowly, whispering curses under his breath.

You roll your eyes, "It wouldn't have mattered if-"

"Shh." Yoongi shushes and crooks the fingers of his free hand at you, "Come here."

He leans down to grab a pillow behind you, pausing, "Where's comfortable for you?"

"Wherever you want me," you say sweetly, and it would've been cute with the way you smile, if it wasn't for the look in your eyes. For a moment Yoongi feels like he's in for way more than he bargained for, with you looking so pretty, alluring, like a succubus ready to siphon his soul. Such a far contrast from the you of earlier, fumbling with your words and flushing under his gaze.

"This isn't about me." Yoongi swallows, "Are you kneeling or do you wanna stay on the bed?"

"I'll stay here." You make yourself comfortable, propping up on your elbows, and Yoongi passes you the pillow to help you reach his hips in your position. You slide the pillow under your chest, already reaching for him before he steps closer and Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath when your smaller hand wraps around his cock.

You mirror his motions from before, pumping slowly and Yoongi's not sure if you're teasing him or not. Tongue snaking out to kitten lick at the head, you swirl it around before taking it into your mouth.

"Ah fuck." Yoongi throws his head back, a hand finding your hair as you take him slowly to the back of your throat. He feels your exhales against his tummy, just barely, his mind too muddled to focus on anything but the warmth of your throat and the wiggling of your tongue under his shaft. "You're doing so good, baby."

You hum a gurgle of a word Yoongi would probably never decipher, the vibrations around the head of his cock has him tugging lightly on your hair and pulling out and away from your mouth, breathing hard. He'd be damned if he comes so quickly, that shit will probably haunt him for the rest of his life.

There's a string of spit connecting your lips to his cock, and you smile like the minx you are, not letting him get far enough away before you're taking his cock into your mouth again, bobbing your head at a quick pace. Yoongi could cry, he's trying so hard, there's sweat dripping from his hair, you're pulling him closer, taking him deeper and his eyes roll back.

"Shit. Slow down." His words trail off in a moan, and he's unable to help the rolling of his hips, thrusting his cock into the warmth of your throat, gently, mindful of your breathing. You swallow and he swears, thighs tensing and he stops, pulling away again to release a stuttered exhale. Leaning down, he kisses you, licking into your mouth with haste, tasting himself on your tongue. "Wanna fuck you." He breathes against your lips, releasing your hair for you to scoot back up the bed.

He's quick to follow, slotting his hips between your thighs, stopping to map bruises against the skin of your chest. He laves his tongue over a nipple, fingers toying with the other, he takes the pebbled bud into his mouth just to hear you make a pretty sound.

"Yoongi." You whine his name, and Yoongi doesn't waste another second, hooking one of your knees over his elbow, other hand guiding his cock to your wet cunt. He stays there for a moment, tapping his cock against your clit just to watch you squirm. You raise your hips to meet his teasing thrusts and Yoongi chuckles, easing back to slowly drag his cock down your slit until it prods at your entrance.

He slowly presses into you, watching the way your pussy sucks him in, arousal coating his cock. "You're so fucking tight." Yoongi stills, gripping your hips, watching you through a lust filled haze. He thrusts shallowly into you until he bottoms out and stills, free hand squeezing your hip gently. He swipes his tongue over his thumb, pressing the digit against your clit to rub in slow circles, "Relax for me, baby."

When he feels your body relax around him, he moves, setting a slow pace to start, leaning down to slot his lips over yours, swallowing the sounds you made. You arms wrap around his neck, nails scraping red, angry lines at his shoulder blades. The pain only heightens the pleasure he feels, crossing his eyes and curling his toes.

"Fuck." Yoongi bites gently on your earlobe, "You're so good for me baby. So fucking good. Taking my cock so well."

He knows you're getting tired of his pace. You're lifting your hips to meet his thrust, moaning helplessly into his ears. "Want more, baby?" He leans back in time to catch your nod, kiss swollen bottom lip caught between your teeth. He grips your hips again, keeping you from moving, and slows down just to watch you squirm and beg for him.

"Ple-fuck. Jus-" your words cut off with a gasp, hands gripping Yoongi's wrists where he holds you. He sets a punishing pace, the sound of his thighs hitting your ass loud in the quiet of the room. "Oh F-fuck, Yoongi."

"This what you wanted, hmm?" He tilts his head at you, one eyebrow raised, sliding a hand up your sweat slicked skin to cup your jaw, you take his thumb into your mouth and Yoongi's cock pulses with the need for his release. He smirks, pressing his thumb down on your tongue, pace never faltering, his nerves are on the edge of frying, orgasm tingling at the end of his spine. Pulling his hand away from your mouth and presses his thumb against your clit, looking down at the way his ccok, covered in your arousal, disappears inside you.

Yoongi groans, the sound rumbling in his chest, feeling your pussy clenching around his cock, squeezing tight as your breath hitches. "Ah--fuck I'm gonna-"

"Yeah? Come for me, baby." As your body tenses and tremble, Yoongi chases his end, hips stuttering and he gasps, cock throbbing in time with his heartbeat as his release spills into you. "Oh fuck."

Head light and ears ringing, Yoongi kisses you, it's more tongue than anything else, but he doesn't care. He does his best to keep the full weight of him off you, peppering kisses along your jaw. He feels your every breath and his sweat cools on his skin, "You okay?"

There's sweat burning his eyes and he squints at you as you push his hair back and away from his face, you're smiling and giggling shyly. Like if he told you a joke and didn't just fuck you nine ways to hell. "I'm perfect."

He presses a kiss to your cheek, leaning back up again to carefully slip his softening cock out of your still pulsing walls. His release comes flowing out not two seconds after, he watches with his bottom lip between his teeth, cock giving an interested twitch.

Yoongi gets up before he starts something again, because he just might die trying to go through a second round so quickly. "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He looks around on the floor for where he left his sweatpants, he puts them on and shuffles quickly to the door. He only realises just how quiet it is now that it's quiet, he realises how loud the two of you were being.

He goes back to you with a warm, damp washrag, finding you close to falling asleep. He cleans you up anyway, mindful of your sensitivity.

When he's done he watches you for a moment, fingers finding yours first. Mindlessly he fiddles with them and reaches for his discarded shirt and passes it to you, releases your hand only for you to put it on. "We probably could've done this sooner." You say softly, smiling.

Yoongi tilts his head, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "What? The sex or...?"

You lightly swat his arm, "You know what I mean."

"I do." Yoongi presses a kiss to your wrist, sighing when you gently lay that palm against his cheek. He believes that action speaks volumes and there's no need for words, but he realises that he hadn't said it back to you earlier. Though, he was very much distracted and his thoughts were absent. "I like you too...alot...just in case that wasn't clear."

He shifts on the bed to be closer to you and leans his head on your shoulder, "I'm sorry it took me so long. It takes me a while to come to terms with things. I overthink and make things harder for myself, I wasn't sure if this was the right way to go."

You hum softly, breath tickling his ears, "It's okay. I suck too. We could've avoided the run around if I'd just told you."

"Yeah, you're terrible. I had no idea what to do with your smoke signals." Yoongi raises his head, chuckling. Leaning over, he presses a kiss to your forehead and tilts your chin to kiss you softly. "Can I take you out? When we get back."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Yoongi smiles, feeling like a kid and nudges you softly, "Go pee. I'll strip the sheets, go on."

He watches as you walk on wobbly legs till you reach the door and pause, turning your head to watch him with wide eyes, "you don't think they heard us, do you?"

"Nah, they're asleep."

"Dude, whoever was watching their porn so loudly last night, fuck you. Honestly, the lack of respect in this household."

It's the first thing Jimin says when he comes downstairs the next morning, looking like he'd slept on the wrong side of the bed. Eyes swollen as he takes the coffee Seokjin offers and the sympathetic pat to his shoulder.

Yoongi ignores the conversation, even though you looked like you were about to combust next to him. Seokjin was giving him a look from his spot by the stove, looking ridiculous in the pink apron he favoured.

"Yeah the walls are so thin in here it's wild." Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows at Yoongi and you choose that moment to choke on your sip of orange juice.

Taehyung pauses, fork halfway to his mouth with a strip of bacon hanging for dear life at the end of it. He looks between the both of you for a quiet moment, strong brows furrowed until something lights in his eyes. "Oh my god."

Jimin, who's slumping in his seat, looking like he wanted nothing more than to crawl his way back upstairs perks up at Taehyung's words, "What?"

Yoongi stares silently at Taehyung, daring him to open his big mouth and say exactly what he definitely wants to say.

"Nothing. Nothing...." Taehyung waves his hand with the fork, sending the piece of bacon flying off it and into his glass of orange juice. Jimin watches on with disgust as Taehyung fishes the piece out of the cup and tosses it into his mouth.

"The bin is right there."

"Are you drinking the juice?"

Yoongi runs circles into the skin of your knee, as Taehyung and Jimin bicker.

"Oh, Joon. Come eat." Seokjin wanders over to the entrance and Yoongi just barely catches the sight of Namjoon passing by, saying that he was going for a walk first. Hoseok and Jungkook enter just then, finding their spots at the table as Seokjin sets plates for them.

"I'll be right back." Yoongi says softly, pressing a kiss to your temple, leaving Jimin sputtering into his coffee. He pushes his chair back and stands, catching the way Hoseok squints at you.

He points, not saying anything before he leans around Taehyung to smack at Jimin's arm, "I told you so! You owe me fifty."

"Bold of you to assume I came here with money."

"You guys made a bet?" You ask, incredulous.

"Yeah. It's either someone was watching porn, or someone was getting it. You and Yoongi are the only ones not sharing a room..."

Hoseok voice fades as Yoongi shuts the front door behind him. It's cold, mist and dew clinging to the world and Yoongi regrets leaving his sweater in his room. He rubs his hands over his arms, the long sleeves of his t shirt barely keeping him warm.

Namjoon's already walking, a good distance from the house near the lake's edge. Yoongi takes his time walking over, gravel crunching under his feet, he slots his hands into his pockets to keep them warm.

When he reaches Namjoon, the younger man is crouched down, cooing at something on the ground. There's a little crab scurrying around trying to get away from Namjoon's curious fingers.

"Just let the little guy be." Yoongi announces himself, "Thing's probably scared shitless."

"I just wanna pick him up, though," Namjoon continues to try, sighing when the little crab escapes into the lake. "Oh well.." He dusts his hands and stands up, finally looking over at Yoongi.

"Aren't you cold?" He asks, and remembering he's standing out in a tshirt and sweats, Yoongi shivers. Namjoon looks all cozy in his beige sweater and matching beanie.

"I wanted to run something by you." Yoongi says, looking out at the lake and the way the light of the morning sun glitters against the still waters. He shoves his cold hands into the pockets of his pants, rubbing his thumb over his curled fingers. He realised that this is going to be as hard as trying to talk to you, and Namjoon waits patiently, watching Yoongi with eyes that seemed to know too much.

"Uh.." Yoongi chances a look, glancing at Namjoon who's just as quiet as him, waiting. "Look man, Y/n and I had a talk last night."

"Right?" Namjoon gives him a look, a confused one, head tilting and all.

Yoongi takes a breath and decides to go headfirst, though he takes a step back from Namjoon to be sure. "I really like your sister and we talked about it and I just wanted you to know that."

The uncomfortable look that morphs Namjoon's features wasn't what Yoongi was expecting, especially since the look stays there for a while as Namjoon just stares at him. He raises a hand to scratch at his cheek, "Dude."

"What?"

"Are you saying that I owe Hoseok fifty dollars?"

"...Eh?" Yoongi's confused, and it feels as though he's spent this whole weekend running on pure confused energy. Namjoon shakes his head, laughing in a way that makes Yoongi take another step back.

"I know. You two are terrible at hiding shit." Namjoon points his thumb over his shoulder, back at the house where he glances. From where he stands, he could see Seokjin, Taehyung and Jimin peering out through the window. "I know my sister, and I know my best friend. You guys are adults, so, really, there's nothing I can do but watch it happen."

Namjoon shrugs, and Yoongi flushes, cheeks heating. "But when I met her...you...you gave me a look."

"I was trying to ask if you wanted water!"

"That was not a 'do you want water' look, Joon."

Namjoon reaches over and pats his shoulder softly, hand lingering, "You have my blessing, if that's what you came to ask for." He smiles, eyes disappearing, but Yoongi's relief is cut short when he tries to shift away, Namjoon's grip tightening. "Though, she's still my little sister. I know where you live."

Yoongi chuckles, a little scared.

"Good talk." Namjoon nods to himself, "I'm going inside. Get out of the cold!"

Tagging: @madbutgloriouspond @blog-name-idk @taestefully-in-luv @btsstan12 @hamsterclaw @allhobbitstoisengard @dontstoptime @doneimnida @here2bbtstrash

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ncteez · 1 year

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COLOR EVASION (j.s)

You were just browsing, looking at all of the various kinks and fantasies the great world wide web had to offer. It’s not like you intended to make an account on a specific website to meet someone. Really, you were just curious about what was behind the “only members can view this page” banner. What you definitely weren’t expecting was to be pulled into actually meeting one of the men behind said banner, or enjoying it so much that you’d like for him to hurt you more.

or the one where you join a kink website and a specific dom’s profile catches your attention enough to actually meet him at a hotel and practically ignore your safe words bc man, he’s good.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni !! | kindly leave feedback and reblog, i will kiss your forehead so fucking fast if you do.

wordcount― 8.7k

pairing― johnny x afab reader

content― dom!johnny, open minded sub!reader, smut, reader wants to explore her interests in kinks and finds the best person for the job

warnings― this is mildly cnc in some areas but reader does want it and there are safe words (colors) but she intentionally doesn’t use them. she’s having fun, she feels good, and only alludes to a “stop” because it makes johnny go harder.

note― uh, hi. i know i'm always on a sub-idol agenda but i had this wip half written that i lost steam for and, well, johnny brought the fire back to finish it. disclaimer: im not good at writing dom stuff, but i tried so pls forgive me if this is the worst thing you’ve ever read.

smut tags under cut::

smut tags― MONSTER COCK JOHNNY AGENDA, reader is referred to as: “sweetheart”, “baby”, “dirty girl”, “pain slut”, and “plaything”, face fucking (m receiving), bulge kink but like– via throat, choking, drooling, dirty talk, slapping, restraining, suffocation, degrading, praise, panty sucking, brief oral for the reader, teasing, short lived thigh fucking, cream pie, cock-drunk reader, biting, abuse of breasts, orgasm via nipple stimulation, clit abuse, hair pulling, fingering, overstimulation, johnny is kind of a sadist at times, unprotected sex, aftercare

You joined this website out of curiosity, and you also messaged user SayPlease out of curiosity. You said please to him, you thanked him, you used all of those manners you grew up learning in a way that they weren’t intended for through instant messages with the man.

Truly, it was because you were curious and you had no intentions of actually doing it. You wanted to try out some fantasies in the safety of your own room, alone. You wanted to keep it under wraps and just see how your body reacts to the words and images the people on this website offer. You were expecting your body to react at least a little bit, but you weren’t expecting to have one of the best orgasms of your life guided by his words through a muffled speaker.

Johnny knew you were new to this, he knew you were just exploring, and most of all, he knew he could control you. After all, you did so well during that first phone call. He’s truly not surprised that you were willing to meet with him in person after a short week or so of communicating. All of them eventually want the same thing, you’re no different.

Pulling up to the hotel felt ill-fitting for you considering this isn’t something you’d normally do. No, of course not. Why would you go out and meet some random man you met on a fetish website? Why would you be wearing the prettiest panties you own in hopes to get some praise for them? Why would you have been the one to suggest meeting him in the midst of a sexting session where he sent you the most delicious image of his hand squeezing around his cock, texting that he knew you’d do a great job of choking it?

Why you, right? No one needs to know that answer. This is a private affair, one where only you and Johnny know what’s going to happen. You’re nervous, based on how he speaks to you alone. You keep forgetting how new you are to all of this. Some rules you know are in place, but what about other things? Will he explain? Will he sit you down and make you sign a contract like what happened in that one book everyone was raving about?

The walk from your car to the room with dainty metal numbers screwed into the door felt like it took ages. You didn’t have a key, and you were a bit early for this meeting but the anxiety bubbling in your gut said that if you didn’t leave when you did, you probably never would have come anyway.

He was already behind that door though, and only when he starts opening it do you realize that never once have you seen his face. You’ve heard his voice, you’ve seen his body, but never his face. He, on the other hand, never saw you at all, he only heard you. Is this how this type of thing usually goes down? Are appearances not part of the fun? Suddenly, you find yourself worried that he’s only going to be attractive from the neck down, which would ruin it for you, if you’re being honest.

On instinct you back away from the door, ready to run back to your car and delete your profile, block his number, and ultimately pretend that none of this happened. When he comes into view though, you find yourself freezing on the spot.

Messy dark hair, tattoos, somewhat soft eyes. This man looks exactly like a dom that would talk to you the way he already has. It doesn’t match the face you imagined on him though. Hardened eyes, a grimace on his lips, something along the lines of a person who probably carries themselves as some type of cocky prick with a huge ego to match his cock. But no, this is what Johnny looks like. He looks big, and almost compassionate if you’re reading his facial expression right.

He doesn’t say anything to you at first, he just watches your reaction to his face reveal all while he takes in what you look like for the first time. He liked the surprise of it all, not knowing what his next partner actually looks like until he’s about to have them on their knees. He’s had all sorts of partners fulfill his fantasy without the expectation that he would want them to, after all, it’s about the pleasure and not entirely the attraction in his mind. You, however, are incredibly attractive already. He imagines how much better you’d look with tears in your eyes.

“There she is.” He says warmly, stepping to the side and letting you into the room. “More beautiful than I could have hoped for.”

Already you’re blushing as you step into the room, deciding once and for all that, yeah, you’re doing this. His confidence in complimenting you matches the way he talked to you before, except now he’s in front of you and looking at you. It hits you straight in the stomach, even as you still try to comprehend his kind words versus the ones he growled through the speaker at you just days ago.

You’re silent as you take your shoes off and stand awkwardly in front of the made-up, plush, probably half-assed cleaned hotel bed.

“I get it, you’re nervous.” He chuckles out, locking the door behind him and walking over to casually sit on the bed slightly behind you. His legs fall open easily as he looks down at himself, then up at you through the messy fringe falling in front of his eyes. “You can still back out, you know.”

You shake your head, struggling not to make eye contact with him.

“Are there like–” You’re embarrassed by how nervous you are, unable to string together a sentence or try to keep this calm and casual.

“Hm? Go on, I’m not going to do anything until you’re sure you want it.” He smiles, cocking his head to the side and trailing his eyes up and down your body. He really can’t stop looking at you, hoping that you’ll let him have his way. The memory of how you sounded on the phone flooding his mind as he puts your face to the moaning voice. He remembers how wet you sounded, he could hear you fuck yourself so clearly.

“Rules. Are there any rules?”

Johnny darts his eyes to the ceiling in thought. Right, he knows you’re new but– damn is he selfish.

“If you want rules, we can set them now. A safe word is good,” He pauses, reaching to grab at your hand to pull you next to him. “Sit.”

He says it politely, more like an offer than demand but you can’t see him as anything other than the dominant man you’d spoken to before. Even with a face that looks as soft as his right now.

“Usually, for me at least, a safe word is the only thing I set and it tends to help people learn their limits. I will stop if you say it.” He tries to explain, ultimately to leave limitations up to you during the act. After all, since you’re so new, how would you even know what you don’t like anyway? Sure, some people in this community find Johnny’s way of doing things shady at best, but he does communicate his preferred method first. He isn’t trying to trick you into doing something you don’t want to do, he just wants the freedom to let you explore all of the things that he likes.

“I’m not sure what rules are even meant to be set.” You explain, finally gaining enough composure to talk clearly now. “I’m not into water spots, though. I know that for sure.”

He nods in agreement with a shrug, looking at you as if he is encouraging you to continue.

“What’s the safe word then?” You ask, unintentionally fiddling your fingers in a nervous way. You catch his eye watching you, and you note the way he does his best to calm you from any anxiety.

“Some people pick random words, but colors are usually a good way to go. Yellow for when you’re not sure, but I can keep going. Red for when I need to stop.”

“No green?” You ask.

“I mean, technically everything is green until you state otherwise, isn’t it?”

He’s right.

“Any other things that are a hard no?” He asks again, ruffling his hair through his fingers. “Fair warning, I will hit you, choke you, restrain you, among many other things,” he pauses and looks for your reaction. “unless you tell me now that you don’t want it.”

You look at him and how his soft features have hardened slightly with his tense jaw, your thoughts derailing again as you see the words coming from a mouth so plush and pretty.

“Is kissing allowed?” You ask, completely unrelated to his string of offered abuse.

“If you want to kiss me through all of this, and your mouth is available, sure, I don’t see why not.”

You nod, taking it all in. Yellow. Red. No watersports. You’re going to hurt, and you can kiss him.

“Okay.” You say in a small voice, looking away from him and down to your lap. “Can you start slow?”

“Probably not.” Johnny admits. He’s incredibly attracted to your nervousness, and even more attracted to the way your voice is already shaking and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“You have safe words, use them if it’s too much. I don’t ‘go slow’,” He adds, spreading his legs a bit more. “I do what I want, you do what I want, and maybe you’ll get what you want in return.”

There is no tone of politeness in his voice, and you assume he switched fully into this persona the moment you muttered the word “okay.” More nervous now, you almost wonder if it’s too late to back out. Do you even want to though? Because now you’re turning to look at him and you can see the way he’s looking back at you. You’re just exploring, and he’s right, you have safe words.

“Okay.” You say against the anxiety in your belly, knowing that once it starts, that’s your chance to decide if your exploration was worth it.

Without warning, you hear the zipper of his jeans being pulled at, and before you know it his length is out and on display. He grips it much like he did in the photo he sent to you. Matching his body more to his face now, you stare at it. It’s much bigger in person, and more intimidating to imagine having inside of you. Not only is it long but it’s incredibly thick, part of you wonders if you could even fit it into your mouth at all.

“You mentioned being on birth control, right? And being tested as clean?” He asks, looking down at himself and then back at you to watch you slowly nod in an answer.

He basks in the way you stare, blinking at the way he’s gripping onto himself for you to see. But, like he said, he’s not going to start slow for you. With the brief discussion and questions out of the way, he’s going in full force.

“On the floor.” He nods his head to the space between his legs.

Your body takes you to the position between his legs without so much as a second thought. Your fingers instinctually land against the harsh fabric of his jeans as you attempt to prepare yourself, swallowing hard at the image of his cock towering before you.

“No, hands behind your back.” He guides you with a smile and watches the way you pull your hands back and put them right where he asked you to. “Already so obedient? I knew you wouldn’t be hard to handle.”

You can’t tell if it’s a compliment or not, but it feels like it is because it sends a sense of pride through you. Does he like to fight for what he wants, or does he prefer having full control?

Johnny releases the grip on his length and places his hand at the back of your head, slowly guiding your mouth to his balls, twitching a bit at the way you instantly have your tongue out to lick and taste wherever he guides you. That alone drives him wild, seeing as how you may be new to this whole submissive thing, but surely you know how to suck a man off, right?

“Dirty girl, you barely even know me.” He teases as he watches you lap away at him, a smirk against his lips while he guides your head up to the underside of his cock. “What would your parents think?”

You knew he’d degrade you, but in all fairness, none of what he just said to you is a lie. You don’t even know his last name, you didn’t even know what he fucking looked like until fifteen minutes ago. Your parents would have a heart attack if they knew, and somehow feeling this dirty makes your stomach tumble and panties dampen.

He stops guiding you for a moment, feeling your tongue travel back down to his balls, licking and prodding against them in a way that makes him want to buck his hips up, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t show want or need for his partners, ever. That’s their role to fill, because if he wants to fuck something, he can.

“Up,” He guides, feeling your tongue travel up the underside of his cock again. “Open up.” He adds as he smiles down at you, seeing you open your mouth fully while keeping your tongue flat against him.

When you circle your lips around the head, you wanted to take your time. You wanted to prepare for the fact that Johnny has a huge cock and it’s going to take some getting used to. Apparently, that wasn’t going to happen though, because now his hand is putting pressure on your head to go down, and your body fights it slightly because your throat has never taken a cock this big.

“No?” He asks, pulling your head off of him and seeing if you’re already going to give him a red, but you don’t. You don’t even look at him and instead, focus your eyes on the head of his cock trying to be better prepared.

You almost hear the chuckle he lets out, the silent code word of green shining through in the way you say nothing. With that, he places both hands on your head and holds it there.

“Deep breath–” He encourages. “Look at me.”

Your eyes dart up to his as you take in a sharp inhale, and then, suddenly, you’re feeling him press past your lips again. You close your eyes and try to move your head down on your own, but it doesn’t budge, he’s holding you in place and at this point all you can do is let him.

“Open your eyes, look at me.” He demands this time, pressing further into your mouth and leaving little room for you to fight it. You do your best to look up at him, straining your eyes as he watches his cock disappear deeper into your mouth.

For a moment, ignoring the fact that your lips are being spread impossibly wide and you can feel your throat attempting to constrict around the intrusion, you watch the way his face stares down at you. He’s really into this. Concentrated on sliding his full, hardened cock as deep as it can go into your mouth. And when he hits the back of your throat and there’s a tear shedding down your cheek, he fucking chuckles.

“It’s not so bad, right?” He asks, knowing you can’t answer with a mouth full of him.

That’s when the grip on your head becomes harsher and he starts fucking his hips forward, past your lips. He can feel you struggle, squeezing his length as it fills your throat, dripping precum and fully aware that you can’t even taste it.

“I can go deeper.” He decides, standing to his feet from the edge of the bed, holding your face on his cock and pressing in more, until he can feel the drool on your chin drip down and onto his balls.

He stares down at you and the way your neck cranes. He can almost see the bulge of his cock intruding your throat as he presses in tightly if he angles his head right. He coos at you, rubbing a thumb against your cheek.

“You’re taking me so well–” Johnny compliments, reaching his hand down to rest against your neck so that he can feel his length sliding in and out of your throat. “Do you hate this?”

You can’t respond, closing your eyes and trying to breathe through your nose. Your jaw is already hurting, your makeup is now ruined, and for some reason, you don’t hate it. You like the feeling of your breath being lost, with his hand pressed against any airway you could have possibly used at this moment.

Arms still behind your back, you can’t help but pull them forward to brace your hands against your own knees when he continues to fuck into your mouth at a more aggressive pace. When he pulls almost all the way out, you steal little gasps that end up sounding more like wet, desperate, attempts to breathe. When he presses all the way back in, bruising your throat in an immaculate show of how big he is, he doesn’t make a single sound and only concentrates on the way he can feel his cock sliding against the palm of his hand through the expanse of skin along your neck.

He does this for what feels like ages to you, and briefly you forget the pain of it and remember when he texted you the photo, saying you’d probably rather be choking on it. Experiencing it now, it’s more than you had imagined before, but also, in its own way, a million times better than you could have imagined.

Johnny’s hips start to slow as he releases his grip on your neck and moves his hands either side of your head. He holds you there on him as he tenses his muscles, your nose pressing against his abdomen and you can feel his cock twitch in the deepest depths your throat has to offer. You are continuously gagging around him and only now does he let out a moan, one that is deep and breathy. You open your eyes to try and look, but the angle doesn’t allow for it. All you can see is the expanse of skin along his abdomen and chest before his hands release your head.

He’s expecting you to pull back, considering you haven’t gotten a full breath of air since he started doing this, but you don't. He jerks his head down to look at you when he feels your hands grip at his jeans again. Johnny doesn’t even think to tell you to put them back behind your back, because you are willingly still choking on him. He can feel your tongue struggle to share the space in your mouth with him, the heaviness of his cock weighing it down.

“Shit–” He groans, staring down at you and the way you close your eyes so tightly in concentration, all in an attempt to please him. “Oh, fuck.” He throws his head back again this time, feeling the way you try to move your mouth on him, essentially deep-throating all on your own.

When he looks back down at you, not fully able to keep his head thrown back so he can bask in the feeling, he’s floored by the wetness against your cheeks. You’ve been crying this whole time, dribbling drool, and taking it so well. He makes a point to pull himself out of you.

The whimper that leaves your lips is something he doesn’t think he can forget. A raspy whimper. A fucking cry, he’d be lying if it didn’t sound like you were disappointed that he stopped suffocating you.

“Oh, sweetheart,” He starts sweetly, pinching your drool-coated chin between his thumb and pointer finger. “You liked the way I fucked that tight little throat, didn’t you?”

You blink through your tears, nodding to him. You surprised yourself with how much you were able to take in that instant, and how willing you were to do it for longer.

“Like you were made for it,” He hisses out this time, pulling you up by the chin so that you can stand in front of him, “let’s see how wet you are.”

You can’t look away from his eyes, especially with the way he stares directly into yours when he cups his palm between your legs. Even with your clothes on, your body prickles with goosebumps at the sensation of him touching you there.

“Can feel you through these shorts,” he smiles, dipping his head down to ghost over the shell of your ear before moving his hand to the button of your shorts. “I bet you want me to touch you.”

You’ve never begged before, and you never really understood why people begged at all, but at this moment you think you would absolutely fall right back to your knees and plead for him to touch you. You can feel your shorts sticking to you, your panties uncomfortably tucked into your seeping pussy at the very act of him fucking your mouth.

“Please?” You choke out, voice still raspy as you try to speak.

Johnny chuckles at your pathetic attempt and pulls you by your shorts to step forward as he takes one step back. He shakes his head at you in pity, sitting himself on the bed as he drags you to stand between his legs.

“Turn around.” He guides you with his hand before circling your ass with his hands and landing a short slap against the back of your thigh. “Now, sit.”

He still guides you, positioning his cock between both of your plush thighs and holding in a shiver at the way the hem of your shorts drags against his length.

You know you get nothing out of this, and he’s not going to touch you yet but fuck, you need it at this point. He watched you gag around him, he watched you try your fucking best, and this is what you get in return? The head of his cock peeking from your thighs as you squeeze around them? So be it.

You keep both feet on the floor, doing your best to keep your legs together as you make an attempt to bounce against his lap but he stops you instantly.

“I didn’t say you could move,” he warns, placing his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist before leaning both of you back and then rolling you over to your side. “Cross your legs, and don’t move.”

You do exactly as he asks, crossing your legs at the ankle and lying there still as he slips his cock from between your thighs. You wait like this for a moment before you feel the head of his length nudging between your legs again, this time more wet than before, and then his hand is traveling to your belly and under your shirt from behind you.

“Ever get off from having your tits played with?” he asks, his hand ignoring your bra and pinching straight through the sheer fabric against your nipple. “Would love to see how you’d drench these shorts if you could do that for me.”

Your mind is racing, feeling his fingers tightening the pinch against your nipple and his cock lazily sliding between your thighs. You shake your head, not knowing if it is even possible to get off that way. Sensitive tits aside, if he can do it, you might just have to find a way to claim Johnny as your dom, and no one else's.

“You haven’t?” He chuckles from behind you, snaking his other hand under you and up to your other tit. “Let’s see.”

He uses both hands to move your bra to the outer swell of your breasts and gropes both of them before pausing and focusing on his cock between your legs for a split second.

“Keep your legs tight for me, sweetheart, I’ll reward you for it.”

You squeeze your legs tighter as you feel his fingertips gently flick both of your nipples. You try to focus on that sensation alone, feeling a short jolt of pleasure travel down your body and straight to your clit. God, you want him to touch your pussy so badly, because there’s no way you can come from this alone.

His focus falls back to you, fucking his hips forward all while he allows his fingers to put more and more pressure into the flicks and pinches. You must not realize the way your body trembles even at this, and it’s driving him fucking insane. You’re so new to this, but you suck cock like you’ve been a submissive plaything for years. You have so much to learn, so much to experience, and it’s hard for him not to want to do it all right here, right fucking now.

�� Without warning, he pulls his hips back and leaves his cock untouched. You’re about to turn your body to him in confusion but he does it for you. Rolling you over onto your back and positioning himself between your legs after standing to kick his jeans off first. He looks at you, deep and dark eyes matching the smirk on his face.

“On second thought,” he starts, pulling your shirt off of you in one swift motion and staring down at your chest. “I want to see your tits before I ruin them.”

Typically, it’s normal for you to be fairly silent in these situations, so having no response for him isn’t a surprise. What is surprising is the way your throat instantly forces out a small moan when his legs forces you to spread yours as he settles between them.

Even the sensation of your pussy opening beneath your shorts at the spread of your legs has you feeling more aroused than before. So, when he shocks you with a quick slap against one of your tits, you’re not even surprised that it feels good.

He watches your face after that slap, your slack jaw rising into a small and cocky smirk at the realization that you’re liking what he’s doing. He’s still in the green, so he slaps again, harder this time before leaning down and licking the spot he just hit.

He pulls your bra up with one hand, raising it to your collar bone to release both of your tits and leaving them vulnerable to any hit, kiss, bite, or pinch he has to offer. You don’t care, because when you manage to open your eyes and look at him, he’s entirely focused on the way your nipples harden and soften from the sensations.

When he leans down to lick, your pussy clenches at the wet heat of his tongue flicking your nipple, and when his teeth graze as a warning for a future bite, you only anticipate it. Your body instinctively humping up each time a jolt is sent to your clit. He bites hard, and then pulls back to slap against your other tit even harder. Until you’re left shaking, babbling incoherently with gasps and curses.

“Does it hurt enough, sweetheart?” He coos, leaning back down to lick the growing swell against your tits. “Do you want more?”

He’s surprised that you nod, chuckling to himself because he was already going just as hard as he normally would when a woman likes breast abuse. You want more? You want him to go harder? He hums in response, using one hand to pinch harshly against one of your nipples and dipping down to suck against a particularly swollen and sore area.

You feel the pain, the sensation running down your body much like the arousal and pleasure does. It’s almost hard to tell the difference between them, aside from the fact that the pain actually hits harder. The feeling of his mouth abusing you, his hands, all while his cock is hanging heavy and neglected against your thigh? You can take more than this even, you’re sure of it.

Without really intended to, your hands find their way to his hair. He almost pulls back to demand that you let go, to inform you that he gave no permission to touch him, but the way you pull against his strands has him replacing his harsh sucking and biting against your flesh to flicking his tongue against your other nipple. Surely, you can come from this. He’s going to make damn sure you’re soaking your shorts before he rewards you again.

You moan at the flutters of his tongue gently flicking your nipple, especially in contrast to his other hand bruising your other breast. It’s strange, really, to feel that familiar build up in your stomach but then again, your panties are tucked so tightly between your lips that your clothing is actually offering a bit of pleasure in that front too. Your clit is harshly being restricted and somehow, that offers relief in it’s own way.

For the first time in your life, you feel waves washing through your body that feel so hot that you’re sure you have a fever. He continues to stimulate your nipples, replacing his tongue with his other hand as he pulls back and watches you fall apart beneath him. His cock twitches wildly at the image. Your lips parting, tongue darting out to try and collect the saliva threatening to fall from the corners of your mouth, eyes rolled back before you squeeze them tightly and fucking tremble.

Your lower half is humping up, your chest is chasing the abuse of his fingers, and you feel nothing but heat as you orgasm for an embarrassingly long time. All the way until your ears pick up the sound of him cooing at you.

“Dirty girl, you made a mess.” He smiles, releasing your tits and sliding down the bed before resting his chin on your knee.

You’ve barely come back to reality when you feel your shorts unsticking from your core. Panties still tucked uncomfortably against you, he tries to coo again, but instead he groans at the image of both your pussy and your shorts.

“Fuck,” he stares. “You really did soak them.”

He analyzes your shorts briefly before tossing them to the side and bracing both hands on your knees to spread your legs out. There, he hooks his pointer finger beneath the panties sitting tightly against your hole and pulls them out.

“So fucking wet,” he comments, realizing that your entire pussy is glistening with arousal. He pulls your panties away from you, offering relief to your core before slipping those down your legs as well.

You weren’t expecting him to do it, but then again, you weren’t expecting to let him do it when he shoves the panties into your face.

“Open up.” He smiles, pressing the panties into your mouth with two fingers. “Suck.”

You do, wondering how the fuck you ended up in a situation where this actually turns you on. He’s loving it though, watching your hole pulse as you suck your own arousal out of the fabric for him. You almost forgot his promise of a reward, if you’re being honest. So, yet again, you’re surprised when you feel his tongue, without any warning, lick straight against that pulsing hole and up to your clit.

Your legs shake around him, instinctively closing around his head before both of his strong arms spread them back out again. He chuckles against your pussy, and when you inhale to try and regain control of the sensitive pleasure taking over your body, you can only taste yourself. Each breath replaced with your past orgasm, each moan coming out as a choked and desperate whine.

The pleasure is short lived though. Johnny takes note of your whining, licking and tasting you to the point that he’s the one that’s about to fucking lose it. He’s quick to regain his control, licking a languid stripe up your folds before landing against your clit and grazing his teeth against it.

He holds you down when you jump at it, groaning at the sensitivity and pain. He grazes his teeth against it again, and again, and then finally nibbles against it. Your whining gets louder and he swears he can hear a whisper of a ‘wait, stop–’ as you spit the panties out of your mouth and your legs still try to squeeze around him, but he still holds you down with a chuckle.

“You know the words to use, sweetheart.” Johnny reminds you before nibbling again.

You could end this torture right now. Your clit has been neglected this whole time until now, and it’s not gentle. He’s biting, he’s grazing, and it fucking hurts. All you have to do is say the color, all you have to do is choke it out between his evil ministrations, but you don’t.

“That’s what I thought.” He laughs, leaning back and sitting up between your legs. He releases his hold on your hips, now pressing one hand flat on your stomach and holding you down that way before using his other hand to tap lightly against your clit this time. “Didn’t know you were interested in being a pain slut.”

You groan, unable to answer between his quick slaps to your clit. Swallowing hard, you try to speak. He notices your attempt and holds back his next, harsher slap.

“Baby wants to speak now?” He asks, rubbing your clit gently and encouraging you to try.

“Yellow,” you finally whimper, and he raises his brow.

“Just a yellow?” He confirms, waiting for you to nod before holding back entirely from the slaps and instead, pinching your clit much like he did to your nipples.

For some fucking reason, this hurts more than the slaps but the consistent pain is more tolerable than the sudden, anticipated slaps. This, you like.

“Green.” You manage to moan out this time, hips humping up much like before as a way to ask for more.

He tilts his head, thinking it’s cute when you use the color codes and thinking it’s even cuter that you’re still fucking drooling through it all. He pinches harder, watching you react, he dips his head down again and offers a bit more pleasure that way too. All the way until your legs are shaking again, and he knows now that you’re already about to fall apart again.

Despite your confirmation and willingness to let him continue the abuse of your pussy, he pulls back entirely, collecting the wet seeping out of you and sliding it down his cock with his fist.

“Look at me.” He demands, staring between your legs. You listen, managing to open your eyes in frustration and watch him. “Did you want to come again?”

His eyes dart to you, and your pussy pulses yet again when you nod, releasing a frustrated sigh. He ignores it, looking back down at your hole, his thought process switching to his own pleasure.

“Do you know how much I want it to hurt you when I fill you up?” He asks again, fisting his cock faster, using his other hand to grab your face and force you to look into his eyes. “I could be so fucking deep inside of you right now, you know that, right?”

You groan, your body threatening to release something that resembles an orgasm on those words alone.

“Fuck–” You try to moan for him, you try to beg, but he stops you by squeezing your cheeks tighter.

“Fuck, what?” He asks, feeling his own orgasm welling up inside of him before he grips the base of his cock, denying him of that pleasure. “You?”

You nod aggressively, your hand reaching to grip his arms and brace yourself.

“Say it,” he demands, releasing his cock and using his other hand to run his fingers up your pussy. “Say you want me to hurt you.”

You choke out the words, salivating at the very idea of him doing it more than he already has.

“So dirty,” he groans, shuffling back on the bed and standing to his feet. He quickly removes the rest of his clothes, the musky scent of him blowing past you as he throws his shirt over your face. “Take your bra off, dirty girl, let me see how much you want it.”

Removing your bra ss quickly as possible, you toss it off the bed along with his shirt before looking at him with a question in your eye.

“Come on, take it.” He says, glancing down at his cock as he stands at the foot of the bed in front of you. “You think I’m going to fuck you? Fuck yourself.”

Honestly, it’s like you’re seeing tunnel vision. Nothing in this room exists but you and his cock. Entirely tuned into your pleasure, your pussy aching from sensitivity and lack of being stretched open, you’re instantly leaning forward to get to him.

He watches the way you pull yourself from the bed, acting like an animal as you fall to your knees and take him into your mouth much like you did before. His jaw tenses at your hunger, and he holds back a moan at the way you appear to have lost yourself entirely for him. He doesn’t fuck his hips forward, he doesn’t touch you, he just stands there. Watching you unravel on your knees, feeling your eager tongue try to force a reaction from him.

“I said to fuck yourself,” He warns, stepping back and pulling his cock from your mouth. “Go on, you can use it if you want to.”

He smiles when he says it, and in your head, you don’t care if it’s some sort of trick or play of words. You’d gladly spread out on the bed and absolutely pound your pussy on your fingers alone if he so much as hinted for you to do it, but at this point his cock is out, and it’s heavy.

Johnny is a bit shocked when you shove him back, eyes still glazed over in a way that shows him that you’re not in your right mind. He steps back, allowing you to press him all the way until he’s leaned against the hotel vanity. Raising his brow, kind of impressed, he allows you to hook one leg around him and instantly holds your leg in place to balance you there.

He still says nothing, he doesn’t move past holding your leg in place around him, and his eyes remain on yours as you reach between the two of you and position his cock to your core. There, he chuckles when your face turns from something that seemed determined, into relief at the stretch of his head entering past your lips.

Still, he stands, chuckling at how desperate you are to fuck him this way, rather than just turning around and bending over. Surely the position would be easier for you, but then it all makes sense when he feels your lips slacked against his, panting against him as you make attempts to find some sort of rhythm.

You did ask if kissing was allowed, and god, he’s glad you did. He growls into it, pressing his tongue past your slack lips and tasting the remnants of your panties.

“You’re already so gone,” he whispers into your mouth, feeling your shallow humps on his cock. “I’m hardly even inside of you, sweetheart.”

You don’t really hear those words. Honestly, your body is moving on its own and doing what it can do at this moment. The angle isn’t easy, but you wanted to kiss him so fucking badly, that you had to do it this way.

He pulls out of you though, leaving little reaction for you to do anything other than feel embarrassed by your attempt to fuck yourself on him. He doesn’t expect you to, apparently, because he’s instantly swirling you around and shoving you to the bed. Bending you over and placing a hand at the back of your head before pressing your face into the blankets. His other hand holding both of your hands behind your back with ease.

“Better?” He asks, easily positioning his cock and shoving into you with one quick thrust, bottoming out entirely. “Hm?” He adds, pulling out and shoving in again.

Your mouth is open in a silent moan at the intense stretch, tasting nothing but the fabric of the blanket your face is currently shoved into.

“Can’t hear you,” He grunts, picking up the pace and pistoning his cock in and out of you so fast that you can barely catch your breath regardless of the blankets already making it difficult. “Say something.”

You can’t. You can only groan at the feeling of his cock stretching you open repeatedly, at his hand shoving your face further against the mattress until all you can do is tense your body.

He feels it, your pussy clenching around him so tightly that even he gets the breath knocked out of him. Gripping your hair, he pulls your head up and listens to your gasps for air. His hips slam harder, harder, harder, until he feels the pleasure threaten to hit him. That’s when he stops, burying himself into you entirely before releasing your head and falling forward against you.

“Don’t fucking move.” He warns, twitching inside of you as he feels you heave for air beneath him.

You try not to move, but your sensitive body reacts to even the sound of his breath behind your ear. Everything is more sensitive than you could ever imagine your body being. Your bruised and swollen tits are throbbing against the mattress, your clit is pulsing at the fullness of his cock inside of you, and your pussy is struggling still to adjust to his size. It feels fucking immaculate. You want him to move, you want to move. You want to be fucked, obliterated, destroyed.

“Wait–” You manage to muffle out, knowing full well that it’ll get him to do the exact opposite.

“I’m not even fucking you,” he laughs, pressing his hips forward a bit more, causing you to whimper in response.

“Stop, just, give me a second.” You cry out.

“Not how this works, sweetheart,” He laughs, pulling his hips back and pointedly thrusting into you again. “So lost you forgot how to use words?”

You nod, smirking against the blankets and knowing he can’t see it.

“Liar.”

His hips speed up, this time thrusting into you so hard that the bed itself scoots further forward and bangs against the wall. You yelp in pleasure, rolling your eyes back and wanting so badly to see his face as he fucks you.

“Johnny, please.” You groan and he pulls back, wondering if you actually are so lost that you’ve forgotten the colors.

“Colors, sweetheart. Red for stop.”

You shake your head almost aggressively at that, bracing your hands on the bed and pushing your ass back against him.

It floors him, really, that you’ll ask him to stop and then blatantly ignore your own words by fucking yourself back on him. You’re insane, honestly.

“Please what, then?” He asks, smiling as he watches you fuck back against him.

“Let me see you do it.”

He obliges, tilting his head at the request but allowing it nonetheless. You can feel him slip out of you before his fingers replace his cock. He doesn’t want to lose the feeling of your clenched pussy even for a moment as he guides you to roll over and shoves you back on the bed, your legs hanging off the end of it. He braces himself at the end of the mattress, resting his cock against your core as he scissors his fingers inside of you with a smile.

“Wanna see me fucking ruin you?” He smirks at you, pulling at your legs and guiding you to wrap them around him. “Watch me then.”

You do, eyes zoned in on him as he grips tightly at your legs and pulls his fingers out of you. You can’t even catch your breath, which is no longer a shock to you, when he slides back into you. Studying his face as he does it, you can’t tell if he feels good or if this is just a service he does on the regular. You wonder what you’d have to do to break that stone-cold look in his eyes, what it takes to get him to moan without restraint, to show you that you’re also making him feel good.

He fucks you so well, so deep, and god, it becomes so difficult to keep your eyes on him with each painful thrust. The bed continues to knock against the wall, your cries become louder and louder, and finally, fucking finally, you hear him release his breath in a low and guttural moan.

That’s it. That’s what you want to hear from him, time and time again.

“Harder,” you urge him, feeling his hands tighten around your legs before he’s releasing them and dropping his hand to your throat. “Harder.” You continue.

He does, putting all of his strength behind his thrusts, losing himself momentarily in the moment and squeezing your throat tighter as he grunts out at you with a defeated chuckle.

“Of course, you’d be the one to pull this out of me.” He admits, his smile never falling from his lips as he closes his eyes and listens to the wet sound of his cock sliding in and out of you. “Of course, you’d be the one to grip my cock like this.”

You’re gone, not even realizing that you’ve been on the edge for a while now in the way his thick cock continuously massages your g-spot. You tighten your legs around him, forcing him to bury himself deep inside of you as you clench and grip around him in a release.

He allows it, sliding his hand up your throat before releasing it and using two of his fingers to hook your mouth open. There, he watches you drench him, he feels your arousal gushing out of your stuffed pussy and onto the bed, and now, now it’s his turn.

“That’s it, come all over me,” he coos, pulling his hips back and slamming back into you despite your tightened legs around him. “Feel it.” he adds, accenting his words with another particularly deep thrust.

You’re entirely silent, and he’s loving it as he slides his fingers deeper into your mouth, holding your tongue down and imagining which way he’d like to fill you up. He could watch his seed run down your thighs, he could pull out and fuck your throat until climax, he could pull out and deny himself a bit more, just to see you fall apart more.

It hits him a bit too fast though, when he’s looking down your throat and watching your eyes slowly open to look at him. There’s the tears, your sensitive pussy probably begging for him to pull out, to give you some relief, to be gentle. He offers one last thing to you, pulling his fingers from your mouth and dragging them down.

There, he rubs against your swollen clit until you’re writhing under him to get away. Still no safe words have been used, and you’re fully capable of stopping him at this moment. But you don’t. So, he doesn’t stop. The sensation of your body writhing, fighting the pain, chasing the smallest hint of pleasure throws him into his release. He presses into you so hard that the bed remains in a slightly tilted position, fitting snugly against the wall as he paints your inner walls with thick, hot cum.

You whimper at the feeling, legs falling open from around him as your body tries to wiggle away with your post-orgasm shocks. He moans each time, falling forward half way through his orgasm..

“You love being filled with my cum, don’t you?” He growls against your ear as he fucks his cum into you. “Is this what you wanted?”

You listen to him speak, the words matching the pain in your body to such an extent that you’d probably let him keep going if he wanted to. You’d let him break you of all sanity, you’d let him tie you up, use you, abuse you.

And when he goes silent, his sweat dampened skin raises and he slips out of you with care and a deep sigh of relief. You simply lay there, staring up at the ceiling and wondering how long you’ve been here, why it took you so long to explore this side of your sexuality, and why you’re not ready for it to be over, despite your aching body.

You feel his presence leave you for a brief moment and return with a warm and wet towel. You jolt when it touches between your legs, and you almost pull away when he runs it over your clit.

“You must be sensitive,” Johnny says gently with a voice you’ve never heard from him, “They always are after their first time.”

Nodding, you try to pull yourself up and close your legs, but your body feels stiff.

“Relax, you’ll probably faint if you try to stand up too fast.” He tries to explain, folding the towel over to clean you with a different side of it. “It’s not like a normal hook up, you know? If you’re gonna let me hurt you, you’ve gotta let me take care of you after.”

Your throat is dry as you lay there, the sensation of even his gentle touches feeling like too much to handle. You feel like you can’t move, so you trust his words and try to relax.

“That’s it, yeah,” He encourages, going to try and help you shuffle your body up to the head of the bead so that you at least have a pillow. “Take your time. You have my number if you ever wanna meet up again.”

With that, Johnny steps himself into the bathroom and cleans himself up and when he comes back out, he’s already dressed and fixing his hair in the mirror before heading toward the door.

“Wait,” You panic, lifting up quickly and feeling a bit light headed at the sudden movement, “You’re leaving?”

He smiles at you, nodding. Everything else you do as a newcomer may be fairly expected, but it’s rare when Johnny ends up with someone who doesn’t want him to leave after.

“I do have a day job, you know,” He tries to play it off as a joke, but he really didn’t think you expected him to stay. “Stay here and rest up. Check out is tomorrow at eleven so feel free to enjoy the room. Not sure if you noticed, but it’s one of the nicest hotels in the city.”

Oh. Right, you didn’t notice. After all, when you got to the door the room practically didn’t exist to you outside of the floor in front of the bed, the bed, and the ceiling.

“Red.” You say, unsure if it’ll work.

“Doesn’t work like that, sweetheart.” He finds it sweet, but dangerous nevertheless. He doesn’t sleep over with his fetish website meetups. He’s here to bring you pleasure and pain sexually, not emotionally. “Like I said, you’ve got my number.”

You’re silent, watching him turn the knob on the door.

“Oh and,” He pauses, turning to look at you. “Don’t go off with other randoms from the site. Some of them don’t offer the kindness I offered to you today. Ease into it, I’ll be around to help if you need me.”

Wondering if he’s implying that you should only see him when it comes to this sexual dynamic, you nod to him, trying to ignore the fact that he claimed “kindness” was being offered to you. If this was him being kind, you can’t help but wonder what he’s like when he’s…you know, not.

#nct smut #johnny suh smut #johnny smut #nct 127 smut #nct x reader

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duskyvenus · 8 months

Text

Super Blue Moon: What you need to hear right now

This is a general intuitive reading meant for entertainment purposes. Take whatever resonates. I am still practicing my intuitive ability so feedback would be really helpful :))

Pile 1

You might be wanting peace, a quiet life. I'm seeing walks in the nature, consuming healthy unprocessed food, lots of fruits. You might like red or orange colored fruits (could be any). I'm sensing changes in lifestyle. Maybe you will relocate or renovate your home (changing your aesthetics and style). Your soulmate(romantic) or current partner or future partner(whatever resonates) is sending you messages of affirmation. Also they might like to stare at you and admire your features lol. I'm hearing: It's all about the little things. Maybe this is something you believe in or it is about to become a theme in your life in the near future. A short trip or holiday might soothe your nerves a bit, preferably somewhere cooler. Overall, I think change is coming your away; there's this picture of letting things go and relaxing in a lodge in the mountains while sunlight creeps in through the window. Yeah lots of sunshine imagery in this pile. It's about how the sun slowly warms you up. Slowly and surely you will be moving to the next stage.

Pile 2

Similar to pile 1, I think you might be in need of some sunlight lol. I'm seeing something about hobbies, so maybe you need to get back to them? You might not have completed a previous painting, book, blanket or whatever. I'm also seeing cakes which means some kind of celebration. It might be your friend's birthday soon. Yeah I'm hearing about a dear friend, someone you think is your soulmate (for some of you, they are :] ). Or maybe a connection where either person has romantic feelings and the other feels neutral. Some of you might be studying hard and preparing for your future job and you're trying to keep a positive mindset. I see so many drawings and scribbles in a notebook. This is the student pile. I'm also seeing baked food and the aroma of cafes. Maybe you like to do your work in a cafe with a cup of coffee and some cake. Also you might be secretive and like to keep things to yourself. Might be a homebody. You are working to chase a reward and you're feeling frustrated because the path is so long. Don't be too hard on yourself. Set small goals and reward yourself for finishing them.

Pile 3

Whimsical and airy vibes for this pile. I'm hearing that you might have witnessed something paranormal? Or something that just can't be real. Hmm existential crisis? Questioning the universe? Questioning yourself? I'm seeing wings. You might be wanting to just fly away lol. Or they could be angel wings. You might be feeling lonely. Recently you might have ended a friendship or relationship OR you might have lost someone so you feel empty. I'm really sorry for your loss :( A big phase of your life suddenly came to an end so you're feeling lost. Old memories flashing in your head. Though I also feel that someone wants to approach you with hopes of making new memories with you. They seem like a very doting person and also calm. 'Calm'; your head is a mess and you feel like you're not able to think clearly. You might be asking yourself, "Am I seeing/hearing things?", "Why am I not able to do such a simple task?" Maybe your spirit guides or guardian angel want(s) to communicate with you and for that I'm hearing lavender and mint. Meditation may also help you to sort out your thoughts.

Pile 4

This is the happy-go-lucky pile. I'm seeing you have so much fun with your friends! You seem like the type to uplift people's moods. It feels empty when you're not around. You might feel pressured to keep up this cheerful image. Lately someone might have been rude to you or accused you of something or just bad-mouthed you. You might have felt taken aback because of this and tried to reflect on yourself. Don't worry, they're just jealous. Maybe you started thinking about the time when your demeanor was very different from now; you were not a cheerful person to begin with, but you started acting this way because you wanted to be treated differently. Now that there has been a sudden rejection that is asking you to re evaluate your choices, you are considering reverting back to your old self. Or maybe you think a lot about your friendships and just feel overwhelmed by the love :( This is so wholesome. You feel deeply and often wonder about the outcomes of your actions. I think that's why you wanted change, you genuinely wanted to be of help to someone. Your friends really appreciate it even though they won't admit openly (for some of you, your friend is a tsundere lol)

Pile 5

An ethereal energy in this pile. Stargazing and being mesmerized. You know that feeling you get when you look up at the stars and wonder if someone is watching you? I think your guardian angels want you to know that they are always there for you. If not a guardian angel then a deceased loved one. You have big aspirations but you often feel intimidated. You may have doubts about the path you're choosing. I just want to say that you have the star quality and you're blessed. I'm hearing fate and good luck. If you have been manifesting, try using candles or star shaped objects. You can even use them as a lucky charm. "You drew stars around my scars" - this may apply to you and someone you know. Something about light at the end of the tunnel. 'Hope' ; someone or something gives you hope to keep going. You're working really hard, you just wonder if you'll get the results. This kind of reminds me of pile 2 so you might want to check that out. "Funny how all dreams come true"

Pile 6

You might be talking to someone and you don't really know where this is going? You can say it's a situation-ship. Or you're crushing hard on someone. Either way this is making you giddy. You might also be transforming yourself and so all the changes are making you feel giddy. A very new feeling. You're trying to look at things differently. You're trying to concentrate. You're craving some form of affection. The message I'm getting is that self care will help you get that faster. Also I'm hearing that you have a vibe that is easy to mesh with. People often find you attractive even when you're not doing anything. "Aphrodite's blessings" - you may get the glow-up you've been waiting for. Similar starry night vibes as pile 5. You're also really good at giving compliments and appreciating the beauty of the smallest things. You are a very loving person if you are given the space to do so. "Hang in there baby." - your future partner could be very devoted to you.

A channeled message for everyone: Please eat well !! And have some good sleep!! Take your vitamins!!

#pick a card #intuitive readings #psychic readings #pick a pile #pick a card reading #tarot #divination #tarot reading #duskyvenus

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leviathans-watching · 10 months

Note

Uuuh uuuh uuuuh I got a request!

Remember that drabble you did about Mc from the new obey me game keeping a painful distance from the brothers cuz they are not the same brothers as the one form the og game?

What about a reversed perspective for this one?

How does the brothers feel about an mc who's clearly into them and clearly keeping distance?

obn!brothers reacting to a distant mc

includes: the brothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .7k | rated t | m.list

a/n: oooh this was so fun! and i really think that they'd just think mc was a freak lololol. thanks for requesting and i hope you enjoy!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback, so come stop by!

please please please reblog

➳ lucifer just doesn’t understand. sure, it’s not like he wants this random demon to be all buddy-buddy with him and his brothers, but sometimes you act in the oddest of ways. sometimes you seem to be able to practically read his mind, leaving him with a strange sense of familiarity, but other times you won’t even look him in the eyes. he knows he can be harsh, but surely it wasn’t to that extent, right? it’s not like he wants you to be buddy-buddy with them, but he has to admit he wants to see that sadness leave your eyes when you look at them.

➳ mammon scratches his head. that was the second time today you’d done that. the two of you were just having a nice conversation and then you’d suddenly shut down, eyes going a million miles away. you’re a strange one, that’s for sure. and the way you kept your distance from them was just plain hurtful. mammon was once a great angel and you won’t even talk to him half of the time! even despite all of his gracious attempts to try to get to know you better. all for your benefit, of course, no other reason.

➳ levi hesitates to approach you sometimes. not because he doesn’t like you, but because you don’t seem to like him very much. you jump when he talks to you, as if you’ve seen a ghost, and when you think no one’s looking, extend that to all of them as if you can’t quite believe what you’re seeing. at first, he’d kind of thought it was angel/demon prejudice, but as time goes on, it really doesn’t seem like that’s the case. and whenever someone tries to ask, you play dumb, an act that convinces no one, except for maybe diavolo. but he’s always been an odd guy too.

➳ satan can’t figure you out at all. you’re hardly scared by his outbursts, or at least hide it well, and you sometimes talk to him as if you guys speak comfortably all of the time. you also have his tastes figured out, recommending him books that are weirdly suited to him, but at the same time, you seem cautious towards him. like you’re trying not to get too close. but again, it doesn’t seem like it’s due to his anger. you’re often nicer to him then compared to when he’s more levelheaded, and it’s kind of nice but also confusing at the same time.

➳ asmo watches you move around them, suspicion rising in his bones. you’re just so attuned to him and his brithers–acting before they speak, sensing what they need before they do. it’s like you can predict their movements, and he’s not excluded from the treatment. you know his favorite brands even though he can’t remember telling you them, cook his eggs just to his liking, and even understand his complex closet organizational system without him having to explain it. yet you pretend you don’t, asking questions he’s sure you already know the answer to, and it just rubs him the wrong way, there’s something off about you.

➳ beel thinks you’re pretty nice. you understand the pull of their sins without passing judgment, help them out when needed, but you maintain a coolness, a distance he can’t quite bridge despite his efforts. and sometimes, you’ve got this look of grief in your eyes that makes him wonder if you’ve lost someone too, but you never open up about it, dancing around your past with the help of solomon. he wants to get to know you better, connect with you, but sometimes, that seems like the last thing you want.

➳ belphie wants to hate you, he really does. how is he supposed to accept this random demon in their house, all up in their business, just because stupid diavolo commanded it? ridiculous. but you grow on him over time and he finds himself wanting to get to know you better despite his best efforts, something you don’t seem to want, except for every now and again when you’re strangely soft with him. he doesn’t get it and definitely doesn’t get you; what kind of demon is so nice anyway?

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

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whimsicalwritingsandmore · 4 months

Text

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: fighting, mention of a sharp object.

Word Count: 1550 words

a/n: yeah, I couldn't wait to share this! I'm lowkey worried I'm being too repetitive in the chapters; I don't think I am when I re-read previous ones but ✨overthinking.✨ so I'll always be grateful for your feedback, and I hope you enjoy! <3

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Chapter 8

Hongjoong flew across the room.

You know when someone is beyond infuriated and enraged, but they maintain an unmoved and unflustered disposition? That was Jisung at the moment. Despite the boiling rage that simmered and seethed inside him, Jisung displayed a calm and undisturbed expression, almost like a statue, and that could never be a good thing. Undeterred by Chan’s urges to stop him, Jisung tossed and hurled Hongjoong around while Yunho and Yeosang attempted to rescue their leader…so they could deal with him themselves.

"Is it fun to mess with someone's feelings? I don't think it is. Maybe you need a really good wake up call, coffee clearly can't help. Don't worry, this won't hurt much...at least for me." Jisung casually stated.

Jeongin lodged himself by the door because he wanted a good view of Jisung in action. Meanwhile, San and Jongho struggled to restrain Seonghwa and Mingi from pummeling Hongjoong, and Wooyoung was torn between cheering for Jisung and helping Yunho and Yeosang.

But then he realized there were enough people to handle the situation and Hongjoong deserved it, so he slipped out of the café and went searching for you.

Wooyoung was furiously livid but at the same time, he was wretchedly heartbroken. He couldn't believe Hongjoong would ever do something like that and it was eating him alive that he didn't realize sooner. Wooyoung liked to give the benefit of the doubt to people. So, when Hongjoong coaxed him into hanging out with Lila, it was mainly due to the former's reasoning being that Lila was on her own and they should make her feel welcome.

But you also felt alone too and as Wooyoung recalled every time he essentially stood you up and listened to Hongjoong, he could feel his heart crack little by little, the pain being unbearable and unrelenting. He felt like he was slowly losing his mind, the aching feeling over the idea of losing you completely because of his foolishness, was burning like a fever and consuming all of his thoughts. It was like a hurricane, ripping through him with no mercy.

Wooyoung refused to entertain that thought and pushed it away as far away as he could. He was going to fix things on his part, and if you would have him, he would stay here in the human realm with you. He did not mind giving up his status, position and responsibilities. Rather, he preferred to help you with the café. He didn't care for the power and ranking being an alpha brought, he cared about you, and his alpha wanted you, forever and for more.

Just like the first time he met you.

It was nearing the Christmas season, and Wooyoung convinced Yeosang to venture out to see the activities that were taking place in the main town. However, the latter found the weather to be much too dreary and cold for his liking, so he plopped himself on a bench and sent Wooyoung for a coffee.

Wooyoung scoured every tent until he stumbled upon yours. Along with Seonghwa, the two of you planned to hand out complimentary coffee and tea for the cold weather alongside some biscuits. When he approached and met you face to face, his heart began to do somersaults and he could feel himself burning up in the cold weather. There was a connection between the two of you that united each other’s hearts. You were graceful, humorous and so pretty, the kind of beauty that radiates from within. As the two of your hands grazed one another and the familiar sparks erupted, it was like every single puzzle piece fit perfectly where it belonged.

And as the other boys came in together, it became clear that the puzzle was complete.

Wooyoung had no idea where he was going till he saw you standing near a lake. Just like the first time he saw you, you were still charming and enchanting from afar. In an entire big city with so many scenic views, all he could see was you and he rushed to you with no time to waste.

In the meantime, you stood at the lakebed ferociously irate and riotously bitter. You could feel the flashes of irritation and raw rage thrumming through your veins. Your mood sharply decreased and soured like a lemon after the confrontation and in the moment, you wanted to do nothing more and just fiercely smack Hongjoong.

How did it end up like this?

And was it even going to get better? You had a bad feeling it wouldn’t.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Wooyoung hollered.

Surprised, you blinked in confusion and turned to see Wooyoung hurriedly sprinting towards you.

"Wooyoung? How did you find me?”

"I just wandered around and saw you from across the street."

“You can’t just wander Wooyoung,” you chastised, “You need to be careful out here.”

Wooyoung felt that similar feeling he always felt when you reprimanded him. It felt like home again, when none of this happened.

He stood in front of you and got a good look at your expression. Despite your rigid form, your face was streaked with dry tears. He could imagine all the emotions you were currently processing. All because of them.

He then fell to his knees as he bawled.

"Please don't leave me." he then whimpered.

"Wooyoung..."

"I'm ready to give it all up for you, Y/N. I'll do whatever you need me to. My life means nothing without you in it. Please, please give me a chance."

Wooyoung couldn’t bear to lose you. He silently hoped things would get better from here, but just like you, he too had a bad feeling that loomed in the air.

"Get up Wooyoung." You spoke softly.

How is this going to go? It wasn’t just two of you, there were nine of you. One, who had already dug himself deeper and deeper in a hole, slashed a bond that was meant to be so divine and seraphic. But what about the others? They were willing to repent and atone for their actions. But…was it enough? Was there any possibility of going back to how things were before?

And Hongjoong, how do you just forget all he said and did?

It’s not like you could meet again for the first time.

You assisted Wooyoung from the ground and cupped his face to wipe away the stray tears. However, you felt it again, that bad feeling and suddenly, from your peripheral you noticed a looming figure coming towards the both of you with a sharp object in hand. Noticing the blade in full view as it neared closer, you pushed Wooyoung out of the way and tried to block it. The miscreant stumbled forward, reeling from the block and swung blindly in your direction. Despite the pounding blood in your ears, you outstretched your arm to grab the perpetrator’s wrist, only to have the blade gnash your hand and then feel a sharp sensation in your side.

Wooyoung counterattacked and managed to rip the blade out of his hand before plunging into the culprit.

You collapsed to the ground, shaking as the pain seared through your body. In your blurred vision, you saw Wooyoung’s silhouette rush towards you, bawling your name like his life depended on it.

The blade was coated with an extract from the deadly nightshade - crushed belladonna and nerium.

You didn't know what else happened, everything around you became indistinct and all you could remember was just Wooyoung's cries and a slight apparition of Minho before it all went black.

In the meantime, the others felt it. Your bond went desolate again. But unlike last time, this time there was no lingering presence. They couldn’t feel you whatsoever as a blackhole took over instantly.

Chan’s phone snapped everyone out of their trance. Jisung felt the shift in Chan’s aura, and as he zeroed in on Chan’s call from Minho, he knew it wasn’t good. That's the only reason why Jisung let Hongjoong go. Minho spoke loudly amidst the screams from Wooyoung and Chan felt his blood turn cold.

No, no, no.

This can’t be happening.

“What’s going on?” Seonghwa asked, “Is Y/N okay?”

When Chan spluttered out what happened, an avalanche of pain crashed over them without warning. There was now a profound emptiness in each of them, even Hongjoong, threatening to swallow them whole. Their spirits felt like it was sinking like a stone in water and misery tried to seep in and envelop them like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.

“We need to go now.” Chan firmly stated.

Each of them bolted out behind Chan leaving Hongjoong and Jisung behind.

Jisung looked at Hongjoong, and saw the grief washing over him but also realization.

“I had told Mingi I was wary of him, but you? I don’t like you one bit. We’re not done here but if that look in your eyes means anything, then you know you better get to it. All of this is your fault, if you only had a backbone to stand up to your mother. But mark my words Hongjoong, if anything happens to Y/N, I’m coming after your whole family.”

Jisung muttered a spell in Hongjoong’s direction and left Hongjoong to himself and his grief.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

@eastleighsblog @sehun096rainbow @greensnakeglobep @satsuri3su @zonked-times @sugarrush-blush @lomons @explorewithd @chatsgotmytongue @scarfac3 @popcatx0 @angrynightnight @sannieluvrr @idfkeddieishot @alicia-dpa @park-simphwa @puppyminnnie @mysticfire0435 @sundayysunshine @chngbnwf @dementedaly @thunderous-wolf @itsmeregan

a/n: hello again! just wanted to let new readers know, if you're interested in being part of the taglist, you can send me a private message or in the ask me anything! It'll be easier for me to see! if I missed your message, please PM me and I'll add you in asap! thank you! <3

#ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ot8 ateez x reader #poly ateez x reader #ateez series #poly!ateez

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azure-cherie · 1 year

Text

🔸Positive things people say behind your back 🔸

🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

Hello , i hope you are doing well, this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest , thank you so much for letting me read your energy, engaging, commenting, reblogs and feedbacks are very appreciated and help me to get better in what i do and also help me in picking your energy better . I'd be grateful for it <3

Pile 1 :

People think you're very grateful and kind , that you have a vibe that is very hard to find , they admire how genuine you are and how when you're angry you let it out and when you're sad you let it out you don't keep it within yourself you rather accept the emotions, you don't run or supress the negative emotions but treat them like your friend . They say that you are someone who is actively healing their shadow side and they are so happy with your progress. They also consider you are a conformist and someone who is sophisticated and we'll behaved at most times . That you are genuine and have no two faced actions. They love the mole on your face and say that you can try to be a model because of your long legs. Your face glows and radiates the elegance that can win hearts and it's such a win . They would love to be friends with you they are tired of hating you.

Chanelled words & placements:

Porsche , blue berry, down to earth , new in town , old city girl , merkantilism , copper, susan, lord have mercy , Virgo 6th H , rahu 12th , Venus - mercury, asteroid hekate prominence, asteroid Vishnu prominence, chitra Nakshatra , Bharani nakshatra.

Pile 2 :

Very first thing i get is they love the way you cook , maybe you upload pictures and damn these people wanna have some. Hey call me over as well ;) , they say you're very talented and can make so many things . You don't realise right that how powerful your creativity is it brings deep realisations to people like it reminds me of a surrealist whose channelled art brought so many realisations to the people . You are a dream girl you have a very different kind of vibe , you have this sense of freshness to you that's so lovely . You're someone who can guide others and give them real advice and that's honestly so admirable, they say that they admire your choices like they really follow what you wear for example you bought some boots and then the others start buying that too you make things worth using . You're really a star

Chanelled words and placements:

You're so fine , doja cat , euphoria , gentle , tailor , mocktail , enigmatic, prophetic, lavish , mutuals , Osiris , cancer , 6th H , gemini , asteroid Persephone/proserpine prominence, Uttara Phalguni Nakshatra, moon dominance.

Pile 3 :

What people admire about you is your presence how you can light a room up and how brave you are , you can take up any responsibility and ace it. You always wanna be perfect you're a 10 and that makes you so likable , they like your lips and the lipstick you use . Your dad might be influential, you give the vibes of young money . They say how pretty you look in light colours, they love your money management skills , you're light hearted and don't take things seriously they really like that as well about you . They say that you smell good and are very keen with cleanliness which is really good . You're so fun when your walls are shed and your guard is down , they see how beyond the guard you're a very fun person. They want to take trips with you . They like how generous you are with money . Tip : don't be too selfless hold your ground .

Chanelled words and placements:

orange , marchantia, Ophelia , dancing queen , mid - day meals , cookies , medium , mindful , mediator , tip toes , fine grip, dark feminine , Saggitarius, 3H , 2H , 7H , Virgo , Aquarius , revati nakshatra.

Pile 4 :

You actually have so fine grip on people's minds , your words stay with them for a long long time , they really admire your intelligence so much, they feel like they can ask you anything and you will have an answer to it , you're like so cool , so intelligent, conversations with you never feel boring or stagnant. They admire your way of motivating people, they really love your car and your skin. Your skin is so beautiful and supple , i think you could be in the astro or tarot community as well people really admire your knowledge. Your mom wants to say she's proud and she's sorry for behaving to harsh , and your flowers that you grow in the garden feel so nurtured by you . You are divinely blessed.

Chanelled words and placements:

Dior, mirror , coquette, cute , rabbit , dancing in the dark , beauty and the best , marinate , lashes , belly dancing, Taurus , 11th H , 9th H , asteroid siren prominence, asteroid kleopatra prominence, mercury dominance Jupiter dominance.

#pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a card #pac reading #pac readings #pac #tarot community #intuitive tarot reading

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bvidzsoo · 6 months

Text

Lust we both share

◆Vampire!Seonghwa◆

TW: cursing, blood, suggestive

◆Read this before reading this one or else it won't make much sense, trust me◆

Word count: 6,1k

A/N: I have no idea what to call this lol, a drabble? I really don't know, but I swear to God ever since I've written that request for Halloween (@seonghwasbobaeyes repectfully this is your fault haha, so uhm, I hope you enjoy the short part 2?) this Seonghwa has been plaguing my mind and yesterday I decided, why not, I'll write some more and see what happens lol. I might write one more part like this one, short since I don't want to turn it into a full story. Lol, I hope y'all enjoy it! Feedback is appreciated!

1. Moroi-are born vampires, imbued with the magic to have power over the elements;

2. Dhampir-are half-human, half-vampires who are born to protect the Moroi. Don't have elemental magic, but have enhanced strength and senses making them the strongest protection against the Strigoi;

3. Strigoi- are the type of vampires that one would expect from an old horror classic

Everything went back to normal after we returned from the one-week long test. Seonghwa continued being his usual self, arrogant, and awfully annoying. And I continued ignoring him as best as I could and making fun of his existence behind his back. Seeing him everywhere I went suddenly became even more infuriating compared to before the whole test, and I couldn’t decide whether I was paying more attention to Seonghwa now or if he was everywhere on purpose. His words held an unsaid promise, ‘One or two won’t, indeed’, and I couldn’t help but feel on edge almost all the time. For some unexplainable reason, I expected him to show up in the middle of the night and suck my blood dry, leaving me dead in my own bed, only to be found in the morning when Seonghwa has already had time to flee and cover his tracks. It didn’t help that I started having nightmares too with him showing up when I least expected it, when my guard was down, his eyes crimson red and face smeared with blood, face oddly pale. It looked like Seonghwa, yet at the same time it didn’t. He didn’t look like his usual self in the nightmares, and sometimes it made me ponder that, perhaps, I wasn’t seeing the Seonghwa I knew. The moroi Seonghwa, but a strigoi turned Seonghwa. That thought didn’t sit well with me and it also scared me. When did I start caring about his safety? Was that one week spent with him long enough to mess with the chemistry of my brain? Or was this the doing of his vampire venom? Was I already addicted? Was my body craving for more? I couldn’t decide, nor quite understand my own thoughts and wants, and that scared me. It’s not like I could go and talk to Kazuha about it, a moroi drinking from a dhampir was strictly forbidden, and no matter how tight and close our friendship with Kazuha was, I knew she’d snitch on me to the Principal the second she was out of my sight. I knew she loved me, but she followed the rules quite strictly and anything which went against them and she caught whiff of it would be reported immediately. And besides, I just simply couldn’t talk about it. A dhampir offering up their blood willingly was…something like prostitution. I would be called a blood-whore. Everyone would look down on me and cast me out. I wasn’t afraid of being on my own, but I couldn’t allow such thing happening in my last year at the Academy, right before graduation on top of it all. Three more months and I would be free. Three more months and I wouldn’t have to see Seonghwa’s face ever again. Or that’s what I thought.

As I walked down the fancy corridor, headed towards the Principal’s office, all kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. Perhaps he found out I was the one who pulled that prank yesterday in hand-to-hand combat class. Or perhaps Jennie finally told on me to the Principal that I always pick on her. Or perhaps someone spread another obnoxious rumor about me. Or perhaps…everything was fucked because the Principal somehow found out what Seonghwa and I had done while we were away. Did Seonghwa have it in him to tell anyone about it? I knew he liked to boast about anything he could, but this…this thing was serious. It would ruin my life, but it could taint his own reputation too. He wouldn’t say anything about it, right?

I sighed and stopped abruptly in front of the Principal’s office; door wide open. Great, I couldn’t even collect my thoughts before I stepped inside. He was a moroi, so he has already heard me approaching, he swiftly glanced up and beckoned me inside. I tried to remain calm, aware that he could hear my heartbeat and would instantly pick up on it. I didn’t want to give myself away if perhaps I wasn’t called here for facing the repercussions of my actions.

“Good evening, Miss Lee.” The Principal said with a smile and I nodded, sitting down across from him. His desk was huge and made of oak, it looked extremely expensive, but when the Academy had good funds, I guess he could afford it, “How have you been? Haven’t had to call you to the office in quite a while.”

I chuckled, rubbing my hands together to distract myself, suddenly my heartbeat picking up. Don’t panic, he seems to be in a good mood, “I have been behaving, Mr. Yoon. I’m doing quite fine lately, stressed about the graduation.”

The Principal hummed, rubbing his chin as if he was confused, “Good thing you brought that up. It’s why I called you here to talk.”

Fuck, what about it? I cleared my throat and my body suddenly tensed, but I leaned back in the chair, trying to look nonchalant about it.

“You know Park Seonghwa—it would be hard no to—” The Principal’s eyebrows suddenly rose as my heart somersaulted, and I cursed myself for reacting so quickly. I cleared my throat and looked away embarrassed, avoiding eye contact as the man grinned at me. Why was he bringing Seonghwa up? Did he know? Did he somehow find out? Did Seonghwa tell him?, “I see hearing his voice alone makes you quite—angry.”

For someone who could hear my heartbeat and pick up on body language, the Principal misread my reaction quite badly. It made me chuckle as I tried acting like I was angry, since that’s what the Principal thought I was feeling like, “Yes, well, everyone knows how I feel about Seonghwa.”

“Indeed,” The Principal chuckled and quickly became serious soon after, “well, you might have to work on your differences with Mr. Park, because he requested for you to be his guardian after graduation—”

“What?!” I nothing but shouted as I sprung up to my feet, feeling angry for real now, mouth hanging open, “He did what?!”

The Principal only looked amused as he stared at me, waiting for me to sit down, but I couldn’t. My blood was boiling and my muscles were tense, I couldn’t sit still. So, I walked behind the chair and started pacing up and down, chewing on my lower lip as the Principal chuckled again, way too amused by my dismay.

“I see you left a deep impression on him during that one week of testing, Miss Lee, it’s impressive.” The Principal started, face coated in surprise, “He came in very determined and confident today, formular about his request in his hands and already completed. He even kept a long speech about how serious you were about your duties and how safe he felt with you, never having to look over his shoulder or fear for his life. Everyone knows you’re an exceptional student at the Academy, Miss Lee, even if a little bit mischievous, but Mr. Park’s words were a rather pleasant surprise. I’m very pleased to see you evolve into a mature and responsible dhampir, and I can’t wait to forward the request to the Queen—”

“No!” I exclaimed, looking at the Principal wide-eyed, “What—what if I refuse his request?”

“You know you can’t do that.” The Principal reminded me of the protocol, I knew that, but I really didn’t want to become Seonghwa’s guardian. Spending one week with him was one thing, but spending who knows how many years with him would be pure torture, “At least not until you have guarded him for five years. After that you’re free to decide whether you want to continue guarding him or change to someone else.”

“Can’t I decide right now that I don’t want to guard him for the next five years, Mr. Yoon?” I asked defeated, closing my eyes and running my hands through my hair. This was really bad. It didn’t help that my hair was all knotted up from the wind and I pulled on the tangled strands painfully with my fingers, adding only fuel to my anger. I really couldn’t deal with anything right now.

“I’m afraid not, Miss Lee,” The Principal chuckled as if I had said the joke of the year, “Thank you for coming tonight, though, a special request like this hasn’t been done in decades at our Academy. The Queen will certainly be proud of you, there’s few female dhampirs and to have you so talented and dedicated is indeed something to be proud of.”

I couldn’t care less about the Queen and what she thought about me, this was horrible. Suddenly, I didn’t want to graduate anymore, “Am I dismissed?”

“Of course, go enjoy your night, Miss Lee—” I turned and basically sprinted towards the door, but the Principal called out, “Not too much, though, I know about the party!”

That was least of my problems right now as I stormed down the hallways, headed for my shared dorm with Kazuha. Perhaps getting called to the Principal’s office for misbehaving suddenly sounded so much better than for what I got called in just right now. I couldn’t believe Seonghwa followed through with his words just because I let him taste my sweet blood. God, I am such an idiot, if I never allowed him to drink from me this would’ve never happened. I did this to myself, and I couldn’t help but feel desperation crawl all over my body and rage fill my veins as I saw red, Seonghwa’s name like a chant echoing through my mind, wishing for nothing more than to put a dagger through his heart.

Kazuha wasn’t in our room when I had returned, which made my state worsen as I threw everything off my desk, screaming and punching my least favorite pillow for five minutes straight. I wasn’t always good at managing my anger, that’s why I was so good at training classes. I channeled all the pent-up rage and frustration into fighting, beating everyone, even the largest and strongest dhampirs at our Academy. Despite wanting to scream for longer, our next-door neighbor banged on the shared wall and shouted for me to shut up and go for a walk, making me scream back a fuck you, before I stormed inside the bathroom and took a cold shower, wallowing in nothing but despair as I refused to cry. I wouldn’t cry about something like this, all I had to do was find a way to sabotage myself of being Seonghwa’s guardian, but not the point that I wouldn’t be able to guard anyone else. Perhaps if I incriminate him with something forbidden I could get rid of him, but these thoughts were currently pushed to the back of my mind as Kazuha and I were huddled together in a quieter corner of the room, with me retelling everything the Principal has said. She was tipsy, but she paid close attention, her eyes wide and mouth open as she ignored a guy who tried pulling her towards the drinks table. I cast him a glare before he hurried off, sending me nasty looks that I didn’t bother to care about.

“Are you serious about Seonghwa wanting you to be his guardian?” Kazuha repeated for the third time, and frankly, I was getting fed up.

“Yes! If you ask once more, I swear to God, I will punch you.” I threatened and Kazuha laughed.

“I’m just too shocked to accept reality—and perhaps tipsy too, but—this sounds like a nightmare for you, Y/N, I’m really sorry.” She said with a pout and patted my arm, feeling sympathetic for me. I scoffed and crossed my arms, my grip around the red cup tightening.

“Sounds like a nightmare for me? Doesn’t it for everyone?!” I exclaimed, but it went unnoticed as the music was blasting through the speakers loudly and everyone around us was busy with whatever they were doing.

“I hate to break it to you, sweetie, but the other dhampirs at our Academy would kill to get to be Seonghwa’s guardian. He’s filthy rich and will most likely inherit his father’s business, meaning you won’t ever have to overwork yourself as he will sit in a fucking office chair, doing nothing all day long. And on top of that, his family doesn’t live in a moroi community, so you won’t have to worry about seeing a strigoi too often, Y/N, you quite literally hit the jackpot with him.” Kazuha’s voice sounded slightly tinged with jealousy, but I knew it was the alcohol making her feel like that, “Imagine if you got paired up with San, who likes hiking, and lives in a remote area somewhere in the mountains! Y/N, that’s literally where nests of strigois live, I’d rather die than spend the next five years with San—or Wooyoung, for that matter! Jesus, that guy never shuts up—”

“Speaking of the devil!” I groaned as Wooyoung bounced over, two red cups in his hands.

“Here you two were!” Kazuha and I turned to look at Wooyoung quite unimpressed, his mouth pulled into a lazy smile, quite obvious that he was drunk off his ass.

“Wooyoung, I told you to leave me alone—” Kazuha started, but Wooyoung pressed one cup against her lips, making her cringe away from the strong smell of whatever alcohol he had mixed in there.

“Baby, did you forget about our bet?” Suddenly, Wooyoung’s lips pulled up into a smirk and a dangerous glint appeared in his eyes. I looked at Kazuha with a questioning glance, having not heard of this up until now. Kazuha looked uncomfortable for a second as she glanced back at me and then sighed.

“Fine, lead the way.” She muttered, but thanks to Wooyoung’s heightened senses, he heard her and chuckled, turning around to lead the way to wherever they were headed. I raised my eyebrows at Kazuha as she glanced back at me with a pout, but she only shook her head, meaning that she’d explain later. I watched as my best friend walked off with the moroi she had to protect during the week of testing, her shoulders pulled back and strut straight, signs of her tipsiness all gone. I shook my head and downed the rest of my drink, needing a refill immediately. I had to stop thinking about Seonghwa and the request.

After some dancing and chit chatting with other dhampirs from my classes, somehow, I found myself involved into a truth or dare game. Ten of us sat in a circle and spun the bottle, daring each other stupid and outrageous things, hollering with laughter whenever someone said or did something stupid. I was positively drunk by now, but I was aware of what was happening around me and to me. It’s why I decided to be the boring one for the first time while playing this game, and opted to only take truths. My hyper senses were dim due to the alcohol, and it was hard to keep up with everyone around me, not as alert as I usually would be. It’s why I didn’t notice Seonghwa sneaking up behind me as I had stood up, ass numb from sitting for so long, stretching out my legs. The question I had to answer was, “Have you ever done something forbidden, and if yes, what was it?”

“Forbidden as in—school level forbidden or—by law forbidden?” I asked with a smirk and the guy who asked me previously shouted out that ‘law forbidden’. I hummed and shrugged, pretending to think about it for a moment.

“Nope, I might do stupid shit but I’m not that dumb—” The chuckle got caught in my throat as an arm sneaked around my middle and a chest was pressed against my back. I didn’t have time to freeze or to even throw the other person over my shoulder before a hot breath hit my neck, cold lips pressing lightly against my ear.

“Are you sure about that, love?” My body went rigid, breath catching in my throat. After Seonghwa drank my blood we haven’t spoken as I did everything I could to avoid him, and he seemed fine with that, not particularly fond of spending his time with me.

“Get off.” I snapped and wrestled myself out of his iron grip, heart beating franticly and throat dry all of a sudden. Silence settled upon the group I was playing with as they watched us curiously, expecting a fight as it often happened when Seonghwa and I talked to each other. He seemed so smug as he stared me down, pink hair slicked back, and white shirt unbuttoned until the middle of his chest, showing off his milky and flawless skin. I scowled at him, fighting the urge of punching the smirk off his face.

“Playing without me?” He suddenly addressed the group, looking at them boredly. I rolled my eyes and collected my cardigan from where I had been sitting, wearing it as I had no intention of continuing playing the game with Seonghwa here. With the alcohol in my system nobody could stop me from beating his ass up.

“Wanna join?” Someone very drunk called out from the group and Seonghwa shrugged one shoulder, not looking too interested as his eyes fell back on me.

“Leaving so soon?” He asked, taking in my attire as his eyes ran up and down my body. Despite being fully covered and dressed, I was wearing black jeans, a black crop top and now the velvety cardigan, I felt exposed under his gaze. I could’ve sworn his eyes flashed crimson for a second, but perhaps it was a trick of the party lights around us.

“I’m not in the mood to see your face tonight, Seonghwa—”

“Pity,” He hummed, fake pouting, “I really wanted to run over some clauses our contract will contain once we both graduate—”

“Fuck you, Seonghwa,” My blood was boiling again, and thanks to the alcohol, I found myself all up in his face, glaring up at him furiously, “I will do anything I can to stop it from happening.”

Seonghwa’s eyes slightly narrowed, his icy long fingers suddenly wrapped around my wrist. Why was he so cold? And why did the corner of his lips look slightly red? Like something was smudged. Did he—just come back from feeding? The sudden tinge of my cheeks made me curse myself, and I hated how my heart picked up just from the thought of it. I felt dirty.

“That’s a pity, Y/N, my mother already spoke to the Queen about it, and she was delighted to hear such amazing news.” My jaw clenched and I yanked my wrist out of his grip, storming past him as our shoulders crashed together, leaving me fuming.

I did everything I could to avoid Seonghwa at the party, and so, that led me to dancing almost the whole time. I was feeling the music and the vibes as I moved to the beat of the music, even found some random dhampir to make out with. As long as we didn’t do anything stupid, it was fine. A dhampir shouldn’t mingle with a dhampir, but we were only enjoying ourselves, it wasn’t anything serious. But I started feeling tired after a while and decided to take a breather. I sauntered over to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, only to talk to myself in the mirror when I saw my reflection. Drunk me was rather funny as I scolded myself for drinking too much, suddenly remembering that I hadn’t seen Kazuha since she walked off with Wooyoung. Did they even come back? Finding her became my next mission, and so I was walking around the place, looking for my best friend. My head was spinning and if I wanted to see the people’s faces clearly I had to lean in very close, getting weird looks and glares as I did so. Turns out finding Kazuha was harder than I thought. Then, I realized that I should probably peek inside some rooms around the place where the party was held, we were on the side of the campus which wasn’t used anymore. But my plan might’ve not been the smartest idea as I saw some unwanted things, but still no sight of Kazuha. There was one more room I had to check before I would head back to the party, and when I pushed the door open, I realized it must’ve once been a study room as it held three desks and chairs, the room coated in darkness. There was nobody inside. But before I could walk away, I was pushed forward and I stumbled inside the room, almost losing my footing as I gripped onto the chair, startled. I gasped and turned around sharply, having to squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds from how badly my head started thumping. The person inside didn’t turn on the lights, and as I opened my eyes, I took in the man standing in front of me. I could see well in the dark, and I could recognize that silhouette anywhere. I groaned as I went to push Seonghwa out of the way and walk out the small room, but his arm shoot out, making me run into it. I threw him a glare, but he just looked down at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What are you doing?” I snapped, jaw clenching as Seonghwa leaned to the left, where his hand was, and narrowed his eyes at me.

“I saw you wandering around mindlessly—”

“I wasn’t wandering around mindlessly,” I scoffed, “I’m looking for Kazuha.”

“She’s busy with Wooyoung, no need to look for her.” Seonghwa said nonchalantly and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Do you know what’s happening?” I asked accusingly and he shrugged, removing his hand from the wall and blocking my path with his body now.

“They are probably fucking, love, that’s what’s happening.” My face pulled up into disgust. I desperately hoped the bet didn’t have to do anything with that outcome.

“Great, you can fuck off then.” I muttered with a fake smile, but when I tried sidestepping Seonghwa, he blocked my path again.

“Not so fast, Y/N, we have some catching up to do.” Seonghwa said with a smirk, stepping closer, making me step back. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him, feeling unsure all of a sudden. What did he want? Why was he here?

“No, we don’t.” My voice was firm, but Seonghwa just chuckled as he reached out for me, holding me by the waist as he pulled me into his body. The breath caught in my throat as his body heat warmed me up, his sweet scent intoxicating. His eyes were rimmed with eyeliner and I gulped as they flashed crimson, red swirling in his irises. Could he…want something from me? At that thought my heartbeat picked up and Seonghwa inhaled deeply, closing his eyes momentarily, flustering me. His plush lips parted, and when he opened his eyes again, his eyes were a deep red, almost glowing in the darkness. I didn’t feel scared, even though I should’ve as his features turned hungry, menacing even.

“You smell so fucking sweet it makes me lose my mind.” He let out a long breath, leaning down and nuzzling his nose against my neck. I grew stiff, mouth parting as my breathing picked up, memories of that night returning. Seonghwa said nothing else as his hot breath fanned my neck, covering my skin in goosebumps as I gripped his bicep with my right hand.

“I don’t—you can’t—” I didn’t know what I wanted to say, I didn’t know what to do. My body felt hot and electrified by Seonghwa’s proximity, yearning for something more. But we couldn’t let that happen again. It was a mistake the first time too. Seonghwa hummed in understanding, perhaps thoughts straying in the same direction as mine, and instead, I felt his warm lips press feather like kisses up to my jaw. My grip tightened around his bicep as he pulled his head back, staring into my eyes as his own flashed between red and their usual brown.

“I know we can’t.” He whispered and then perhaps we both moved at the same time, but our lips were pressing against each other as I leaned up on my tiptoes, Seonghwa’s head ducked down to reach my height. My arms wrapped around his neck and his hands around my middle as he pulled me into himself, mouths hungry as they moved against each other passionately. I couldn’t help but breathe in his scent, nose pressed against his cheek as Seonghwa’s lips pressed bruisingly against mine, eager for more. He walked me backwards until my legs hit the desk and I was climbing up on it, Seonghwa’s hands guiding me. His hands gripped my cheeks and fingers dug into my skin painfully as he sucked on my lower lip, making me hiss when he wouldn’t release it. He was trying to draw blood and I yanked my head back, glaring at him. He stood between my legs and one of my finger’s hooked against his belt as Seonghwa pressed closer, lean body pushing against mine. He tilted my head back, biting my earlobe and slowly kissing down from there to my collarbone, making me let out long sighs, my grip on his hip tightening when he sucked harder on the juncture between my neck and shoulder, finding my sweet spot. I moaned quietly as Seonghwa’s tongue licked at the mark, his teeth suddenly biting down against my skin. I jumped and body tensed in reaction, ready to fling him off myself, but his fangs never shirked and no pain followed. He was probably fighting against his own urges, trying to control himself. I pulled his head back and Seonghwa’s jaw was clenched as we stared at each other, his breathing ragged as he looked like he hadn’t drunk blood in years. It didn’t bring as much dread as I expected it to, but my heartbeat picked up again and Seonghwa quickly crashed his lips against mine, kissing me hungrily as his tongue pushed past my lips and I sucked on it, making Seonghwa moan into my mouth, sending an electric shock through my body. I pulled his body closer as our tongues danced together, lapping at each other’s mouths, Seonghwa’s body just as affected by our actions as mine as my hand briefly brushed against his semi-hard on. I kissed him back more eagerly, more messily, making Seonghwa groan into my mouth as suddenly his hand was gripping my neck firmly, pushing me backwards. I allowed him to do so, my back arching as his free hand was placed on the small of my back, flushing our lower bodies together. My hips moved on its own as heat pooled up in my lower stomach, needing some friction as Seonghwa groaned, his own hips grinding down against mine, making me grip onto his pink locks tightly as he sucked on my lower lip harshly again.

“You have to stop doing that—” I panted out, words cut off as Seonghwa ground against me again, harsher this time. These clothes on us were getting frustrating and I felt Seonghwa’s grip on my throat tighten as I went to undo his belt.

“Not tonight,” He choked out, gripping my wrist harshly, making me hiss. But I didn’t listen to him as I palmed him through his pants, his grip around my neck close to cutting off my air, perhaps that would bruise by tomorrow, “Not tonight, love, I’m on the brink of losing control.”

My jaw was clenched as I allowed Seonghwa to take my hand away and pin it against the table, “Fuck, I hate you. Why would you start something you can’t finish—”

“If you want me to suck you dry while I fuck your brains out, then by all means, Y/N, let’s keep going.” His voice was hard as he snapped and I finally opened my eyes, looking up into his crimson red ones. I didn’t think his eyes could darken anymore further, but the look on his face made fear root deep into my bones. My senses kicked in, and suddenly, my hand was around his wrist which was holding my neck, muscles tense as I calculated the best way to free myself without doing much damage to him. Seonghwa sensed my change in demeanor and loosened his grip on me, but still didn’t let go.

“I don’t plan on killing you, you can relax.”

“Yeah, well it doesn’t feel like it right now.” I snapped, eyes narrowed as Seonghwa chuckled and the grip from my neck disappeared as he instead held my chin with his thumb and forefinger, raising my chin up. He stared down at me with a smirk, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“Despite your body sensing danger you’re still here in my arms, enjoying whatever I’m doing to you, don’t you?” I couldn’t help but glare at him and slap his hand away, head clearing enough to realize I was just about to have sex with Seonghwa had he not stopped us. I felt even more hatred towards him as I yanked my other hand out from underneath his as pushed him back by his chest, but Seonghwa didn’t budge. How was I weaker than him? That was impossible. Seonghwa just chuckled and leaned down, resting his hands on both sides of my knees.

“I like to play the damsel in distress, love, but it doesn’t mean I’m actually one.” His words were mocking, and suddenly, I realized I had no idea who Seonghwa was. Well, who the real Seonghwa was. I gulped as I watched him reach out and pull a strand of hair behind my ear, tilting my head up as he leaned down and pressed a long kiss against my lips. I didn’t react at first, but when he deepened it, my mouth opened automatically and I was back to making out with him, the pace a lot slower this time and more sensual. My heart was racing and body jittery all over again, but this kiss didn’t last for long as he suddenly pulled back, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why did you let me drink your blood?” He suddenly whispered; voice strained. I gulped, but my mouth felt dry as I realized I didn’t have a real reason other than a very dumb one.

“I—I was curious—” When Seonghwa’s eyes opened, I felt ashamed of myself, “I was curious of what it felt like.”

Despite expecting him to call me names, his jaw just clenched and his eyes flashed red again, “I should have known better. We made a mistake, Y/N, I—I can’t feed off of humans like before anymore. Their blood isn’t enough—the taste, it’s terrible.”

My eyes widened as I gaped at Seonghwa, trying to understand what this meant. But I really couldn’t, I didn’t know how morois worked, I didn’t know what would happen next or what he was supposed to do to fix the situation. Despite knowing better, the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could think more, much like last time, “Are you hungry?”

Seonghwa froze for a second before he nodded his head rigidly, jaw clenching as his eyes fell onto my neck, “Starved.”

My breath caught in my throat and our eyes connected as I chewed on my bottom lip, body flaming at the memory of what his bite felt like. My mind was suddenly silenced and all I could think about was the feeling of his fangs as they started sucking my blood, making me gasp. I couldn’t be already addicted to his venom; it would be too soon. But was it possible that Seonghwa would get addicted to my blood? I’ve never read about such thing before. As Seonghwa let out a long sigh I pushed my hair behind my shoulders, and bared my neck for him. He huffed, but his finger ran along my skin, his eyes seemingly mesmerized by the action.

“Seonghwa—” His name came out in a throaty breath and before we could think more, his mouth parted and his fangs poked through, head leaning closer and closer to my neck. My body tensed when his breath hit my skin and I leaned my head further back as he pressed a soft kiss against my skin, much like last time, teeth clamping down on my skin, fangs pushing deep inside my flesh. I yelped and my grip on the table tightened until my knuckles turned white as the pain lasted longer this time, Seonghwa took his time before he started sucking, before his venom spread through my bloodstream. His cold fangs felt very uncomfortable and I whined as my neck went numb, on the verge of asking him to stop, but then suddenly, I felt him sucking on my blood, a hand coming up to hold the side of my face. Seonghwa moaned loudly when my blood entered his system and I sighed as suddenly my head felt fuzzy and mind empty, jitters all over my body as goosebumps covered my skin. The warmth was back in my body, heath pooling in my stomach, as Seonghwa drank more, pushing his fangs even down deeper, making my mouth open in a silent mewl, feeling like his fangs touched a nerve as pleasure exploded in my body, vision blurred and eyelids heavy as my brain felt fogged up. If it weren’t for Seonghwa holding my head, it would’ve fallen back, and his grip tightened when suddenly my body softened, momentarily having lost feeling of all of my muscles, dark spots covering my vision. He was drinking too much, my body wouldn’t hold on for too long as I went numb against him, unable to speak or pull away. But Seonghwa knew what he was doing and suddenly stopped, fangs still in my muscle, breathing hard against my skin. My head started spinning even worse than before as the dark spots very slowly cleared, and I hissed as he pulled back, cold fangs disappearing from my skin as his eyes glowed a light red in the darkness as he shook my head lightly.

“I’m—here.” I muttered, gulping multiple times, letting out a shaky breath as my body regained feeling, muscles tensing all of a sudden, brain on high alert as it pushed away the euphoric feeling. The crash from the high was worse this time as I felt nausea pool in my stomach and I gagged, slapping a hand against my mouth.

“Are you alright?” Seonghwa asked alarmed and I took a deep breath, fighting the urge of throwing up. I probably needed water. I have drank too much alcohol. I nodded wordlessly as Seonghwa helped me off the table, but supported my weight, “Alright, I’ll take you back to your dorm.”

“I can go on my own.” I muttered as my head spun harshly, forcing me to take deep breaths.

“No, you can’t.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and suddenly I was up in the air and then secured in his arms, held bridal style. My eyebrows furrowed as I threw him a glare, but Seonghwa ignored me as he went to open the door, “I can’t decide if you’re about to fain or throw up, you clearly can’t walk.”

“You took too much this time.” I whispered as he hurried down the hallway, his longs legs allowing him to take long strides.

“I stopped in time.” Seonghwa’s jaw was clenched as he briefly glanced down at me, but I just shook my head.

“You still took too much.”

“The marks will be gone by noon.” He changed the subject as he walked out onto the courtyard, the crisp air of the early morning was refreshing and I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath.

“You have to fix your problem, because this won’t happen ever again.” I hoped Seonghwa understood, he had to. He could kill me anytime by accident. Or I could get addicted and then my whole life would be ruined. Or someone could find out and we’d be fucked, me, especially.

“I know, it won’t happen again.” Seonghwa was serious for once and we shared eye contact briefly before my body suddenly felt too exhausted, tried to even keep my eyes open as whispers of how this was a huge mistake lulled me a to dreamless and restless sleep.

Dread filled me as a voice whispered in my head that this wouldn’t be the last time this happened.

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