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#blonde guy (pathetic)
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i know they never met please just hear me out
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d4nte-mayart · 27 days
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You tell him everything...
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d0lipr4n3 · 8 months
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pathetic man crushing on blond guy who smells nice like lavender
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heynhay · 10 months
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i love everybody because i love you
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whos-hotter-jjba · 1 day
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Hottest JoJo Character Bracket - Match 2-5
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mike-milkyway · 29 days
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I'm only a few chapters in and Whole Cake is already my favorite arc.
On that note, I need a gun.
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moeblob · 10 months
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Hot bartender and two of his coworkers. (I drew the blonde before once but I keep thinking about glasses guy as just trying to be supportive but he's just too patient for his own good and therefore is the subject of hot bartender's sob stories of how he messed up his shot with the cute customer again.)
And as someone pointed out that it was impressive none of the hot bartender's coworkers had a problem with him having such a pathetic crush, they just appreciate that he works hard. Like even before his crush he'd be most likely to fill in for a sick coworker or stay later than necessary if one had to leave mid shift. He's very good at his job! Just. Not when he can watch the cute blonde guy and gets hit with inferiority because obviously he, a mere bartender, would stand zero chances at wooing a guy always surrounded by friends.
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cupioriot · 10 months
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I understand that rick intended to make octavian unattractive, however I swear to you that one hundred percent flew over my head during several times when I was reading because he checked off every box for me and I was just like "omg this is The Guy ever!!!"
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kruinka · 1 year
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call me delusional but hes giving romfan kaiser
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stromer · 1 year
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analyzing the FUCK out of the canucks star wars poster instead of working on actual shit that matters.. like college finals or whatever . sorry what else am i supposed to do when they’ve got demmer as han solo ????
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hauntingblue · 2 months
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One thing oden and ace teach us is that bad bitches go early so you can understand how worried I am for nami....
#oden asking if they still love him after beating a whole village of criminals up as the sun rises behind him...#oden sama..... 20 (maybe???) father of like 5 and boyfriend to many#KIKUS SISTER(BROTHER I DONT REALLY KNOW) IS THE ONE ON THE WHITEBEARD PIRATES???? KIKU IS THE LITTLE ONE!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 962#another oden panty shot....#another oden panty shot as he begs for shirohige to take him to the sea with him.... which could mean anything...#marco teasing shirohige about liking oden.... this cant be true...#how is izu jumping that much omg... we ard not taking oden but this random samurai will do#toki can fight??? oden like that akdhakshdkshsks he looks like the harkonnen guy akdjajaja#he has sanji's radar.... amazing#episode 963#shirohige is gonna break down when he finds out oden left him for a woman.... so sad....#also the size difference.... poor woman.....#shirohige came back for him omg.....#THE BLONDE GUY WITH THE LASHES AND THE WOMAN WITH BLUE HAIR ARE FRANKYS PARENTS RIGHT???#already having babies in year 2..... momo was born in shirohiges boat... legend#orochi chosen as a substitute for oden omg.....#FUCKING TEECH!!! DIEE!!!! I CURSE THE DAY SHIROHIGE LET YOU ON HIS SHIP#episode 964#OROCHI DIEEEE CHALLENGE!!!! but this scene with the witch is a banger... such a shame he is a pathetic villain i mean he could be scary and#with his power he is..... facades and all....#sukiyaki coughing sounds like that GOO GOO GOO GOO cupcakke sound..... maybe its just me...#THEY KILLED SUKIYAKI ALREADY???? OMG ODEN!!!#why is he-man on shurohiges crew akdjsks... also so funny there is just a royal family in there...#roger talking about how his time is coming and he wants to fight shirohige again.... GO BE WITH YOUR BABY MAMA DEAD(heehee)BEAT!!!#another pantyshot akdjskks the animators are on my side.... i love how everyone wants oden now... roger and shirohige passing him around#roger skipping to go fight him akdjsksj he is the moment....#episode 965
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katnissgirlsmakedo · 2 months
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haven’t been doing my required reading…. don’t worry about it of course but i’m literally so bad at this… i also haven’t been doing my required movie watching but that was at least expected so who cares
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rusted-phone-calls · 1 year
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Keefe hauling an entire gumball machine back to. wherever he calls home
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voxisdaddy · 2 months
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Focus On Me, Luci
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Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairing: Sub!Top!Lucifer x Dom!Bottom!Reader
Type: Smut
C/TW: Praise kink, mommy kink, cock warming implied, reader written as fem!
In which Lucifer, for once, tops and his poor subby body is trying his best to make you proud.
MDNI
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“Just like that Luci…keep doing that.”
Your words of encouragement are what Lucifer clings to in his desperate attempt to please you. His hips get unsteady easily after only a couple of thrusts. He whines in frustration and embarrassment about it.
“Mommy—I can’t…” He whines pathetically.
You click your tongue. “You’re normally such a good boy, Luci. Don’t you wanna make mommy feel good?” Lucifer can only nod, albeit with a look of exhaustion. Poor guys not used to being on top. He feels his cock ache to be drained by you but you’re only allowing him to please himself all on his own.
“Come ‘ere.” You invite him in an embrace. He crawls on top of you, almost collapsing from how trembly his legs are. You press a light kiss to his ear before whispering, “just focus on me okay? Focus on how snug and warm I keep you, okay baby?”
He melts at your words.
“Yes m’ dear,” His forearms rest on either side of your head as he lines himself up to push in again. He pushes as far as he can go, wanting to be as balls deep as he possibly can.
He starts thrusting with your guidance. Your voice reassuring him to take his time, set a nice rhythm, all the while your gentle and cute little moans are gracing his ears.
He finds a nice rhythm and focuses on keeping his cool. He can’t desperately fuck you to relieve himself just yet. Though the temptation is strong, he wants to make you proud.
“Mmm… baby… you’re making me feel so good…” Your moans of encouragement drive him crazy. He wants to selfishly beg you to ride him, fuck you both for him until he passes out. But he knows that’s selfish and you take care of him so often, it’s only fair he returns the favour every now and then.
Your walls clamp around on him so deliciously he’s got sweat on his forehead, panting and moaning into your ear. He almost allows himself to fall into the pleasure, feeling weak, and desperate for a release that only you seem to know how to give him.
A slight change in angle and he hears a gasp. He keeps thrusting, eyes fluttered closed as he uses all his energy to focus. Your grip on his shoulders tighten and your moans are more pitched and frequenter.
“Fuck!” You gasp. “Mmmm… right there Luci… right there, you’re gonna make mommy cum…”
Your praise, mixed with how you tightened around him and his pridefulness in making you feel good, brings some more needy moans from him.
“…you’re doing so good… so perfect my pretty baby…” You tug his hair. Running your fingers over his sensitive wing base causes him to whimper.
Lucifer shudders at your delicate touch. He holds his climax back until you’ve cummed all over his cock and balls. He still keeps his pace though so you can ride out your high.
Now feeling the overstimulation, you bring your hands to caress Lucifers face to give him a sloppy kiss. “Go ahead honey…Cum as much as you want.”
Not a second later, Lucifer is thrusting his hips at a more rapid pace, only a bit sloppy this time around, as he chases his own already nearing orgasm.
He finishes with one final deep thrust, moaning pathetically as he feels himself empty his warm cum into your aching cunt.
He collapses on top of you with a heavy chest and still connected between your legs. “Thank you my love…” He kisses the place between your neck and shoulder.
You run your fingers through his messy blonde hair. Lucifers exhaustion and the comfort you give him is enough to lull him to sleep. Before he can drift off though, you tug on his hair.
“Don’t fall asleep yet, Luci. I still gotta clean your pretty cock.”
Lucifer feels his cock twitch inside you. Oh yeah.
You’re gonna suck the life out his cock tonight.
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I haven’t really written smut in FOREVER. OHMYGOD. I hope you enjoyed it lmao
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munson-blurbs · 3 months
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Eddie Munson x Best Friend!Reader
Summary: You've been crushing on Eddie since you joined Hellfire Club. Too bad he's crushing on Chrissy Cunningham...right?
Warnings: angst to fluff, idiots in love, super cheesy but it's Valentine's Day so idc WC: 1.6k A/N: My entry for @corroded-hellfire's This is Music! event!
Divider credit to @saradika
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Eddie’s looking at her again.
You can’t blame him; he’d be crazy not to stare at Chrissy Cunningham, clad in her tiny cheerleading uniform with a bouncy blonde ponytail and sugar-sweet giggle. If you just ignore him, act like he isn’t imagining sweeping her off of her feet–
“Do you think I should send her one of those candy gram things?”
Almost instinctively, Dustin’s eyes flicker to you, but he turns back to Eddie before anyone can notice. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he stammers, scrambling for an excuse. “She and Jason, like, just broke up.” 
This information doesn’t deter Eddie in the slightest. “Exactly. She’s probably heartbroken from getting dumped right before Valentine’s Day. I could be her…Freak in Shining Armor.” He grins at his spin on the unwanted nickname, pausing for a half-second before turning to you and asking, “You’re a girl. What do you think?”
The question is almost laughable. What do you think? You think he should stop pining over Chrissy and start seeing you in that same light.
With a painful swallow, you force a strained smile. “If you like her, you should go for it.”
That’s all of the motivation Eddie needs. He slams his palm on the table and proudly declares, “All right, I’m doin’ it.”
Tears bite at your lash line as he strides across the cafeteria over to where the student council has set up the candy gram booth. You feel a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you glance over to see Dustin offering you a sympathetic look.
“He’s an idiot,” he says, low enough so that his words are inaudible to other Hellfire members. “He’ll figure it out one day, but you shouldn’t sit around waiting for it to happen.”
Logic tells you that he’s right, but moving on is easier said than done. Especially when he’s one of your closest friends.
Determined to avoid any inquiring from the other guys, you do your best to assimilate into their conversation about beating this week’s campaign.
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Chrissy received Eddie’s candy gram on Valentine’s Day. To his dismay, she also got one from Jason Carver. 
“Of course she went back to him,” Eddie mutters, tossing his tin lunch box on the cafeteria table with a harsh clang. He heaves a sigh and rests his head on your shoulder, gazing up at you with his big, beautiful eyes. “Am I gonna be alone forever?”
“Probably.” You muster a tense laugh and brush a tendril of his hair off of your cheek. “Maybe you can try sending out a message in a bottle and see if anyone bites.”
He harrumphs and slumps over, burying his face in his palms. “She told me she ‘appreciates my friendship.’” He shakes his head. “Fucking humiliating.”
The irony of his statement is too much to bear, and you slip away from the table with a half-hearted excuse about needing to study for the history test you have next period. 
The walk to the library feels like it takes decades, silent tears falling as soon as you find an empty table among the stacks of books. 
Chrissy wanted Jason the way Eddie wanted Chrissy, which was the same way you wanted Eddie. 
And no one wanted you. 
A few minutes pass before Jeff slides into the seat next to you. “We’re in the same history class. Figured it would make your lie more believable if I had to study, too.” He shrugs. “Plus, I wanted to check on you.”
“I’m fine.”
He doesn’t believe you, you know he doesn’t. Embarrassment is written all over your face, both at your abrupt exit from the cafeteria and your pathetic crush on Eddie. 
Jeff takes a deep breath. “Look, Eddie doesn’t know what he wants.”
“Seems pretty obvious to me that he wants Chrissy,” you say wryly, twirling a pen between your fingers. 
“No…I mean, yeah. But that’s because she’s, like, safe.”
You scoff. “Asking out the Queen of Hawkins High is safe?” 
“Sounds ridiculous, I know, but hear me out.” Jeff leans in a bit closer so he can whisper to you. “She’s not part of our group, so he doesn’t have to worry about constantly hanging out with her. Plus, she’s nice enough to not publicly destroy his ego. I’m sure she didn’t tell Jason about the candy gram, or else he would’ve announced it to the whole school by now.”
You nod in reluctant agreement. 
“And speaking of that jackass,” Jeff continues, “how many times have they broken up and gotten back together?” 
“Too many to count.” Their relationship is like one of the novelas you watch when you’re stuck at home with a fever. 
“Exactly.” Jeff exhales. “Chrissy paid a little bit of attention to Eddie because she wanted some weed for a party, and now he’s head over heels for her. Because he can be. Because her rejection stings a little, but it’s nothing compared to how being rejected by you would feel.”
Wiping at your tear-dampened cheeks, you shake your head. “I don’t think he cares about being rejected by me.”
He mumbles something under his breath but doesn’t say another word until the bell rings, and the two of you walk to class together. 
Thank God you don’t actually have a test today; you wouldn’t be able to focus long enough to answer a single question. All you think about is what Jeff had implied: that Eddie does like you but is afraid to ruin your friendship.
You brush off the idea as ridiculous. Why would Eddie choose you over the gorgeous head cheerleader?
Uneasiness builds within you until it’s impossible to ignore, and you scrawl a note in the back of your composition notebook before you can fully think it through.
Eddie–
I’m sorry that Chrissy turned you down. Trust me when I say that I know what it’s like to feel unwanted by the person you want the most. It sucks, but you’ll move on and realize that she was the one who missed out, not you.
You sign your name and add a P.S. Fuck Valentine’s Day for good measure, folding the paper in fourths and slipping it into his locker between class periods. Not quite a confession, but it’ll do.
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Eddie’s waiting by your locker after the last bell rings, scraping a front tooth against his bottom lip and fiddling with something. As you get closer, you realize that something is your note.
“Who is he?” Eddie demands to know, sighing impatiently when you raise your brows in confusion. “This mystery guy who doesn’t want you. Who is he?”
“No one. It’s fine,” you say quickly, refusing to make eye contact with him as you twist open the lock. “It was just to let you know that you’re not alone in this, okay?”
He shakes his head and chuckles tersely. “Nah, not okay. I’ve gotta kick his ass.” He shuffles from foot to foot, already anticipating a fight.
“Well, you can’t.”
“And why not?” Eddie scoffs. “I know I’m scrawny, but I’m pretty damn scr–”
“Because you’d be kicking your own ass!” The words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them. Your blood runs cold and your pulse thuds in your ears when you realize what you’ve said. “I’m sorry. That was too much, especially with what happened with Chrissy today.”
You start to leave, but you’re tugged back in place by his gentle grasp on your wrist. “Follow me,” he murmurs. He makes a beeline for the Hellfire room with you right on his heels. As soon as you walk in, he closes the door. “Repeat that? Because I don’t think I heard you right.”
“You’re the guy who doesn’t want me,” you manage through the lump in your throat, “and it’s okay, because we can’t help who we like and who we don’t. I don’t want you to feel guilty or anything like that.” 
You’re rambling, and you tuck your lips into your mouth to stop yourself from talking yourself in circles.
Silence seeps into the room, the only noise is the hum from the fluorescent lights overhead. Finally, Eddie speaks again. “Do you know why I asked you to join Hellfire?”
You swivel your head back and forth in a definite no.
“Yeah, I tried to keep it that way,” he says with an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “So, um, I kinda had a massive crush on you. And I figured that we’d get to know each other here and then I’d ask you out or whatever, but I kept chickening out. So…there ya have it.” He shifts his hands as if to say ta-da.
“And now you like Chrissy.” Out with the old, in with the new.
Eddie takes a small step closer, one ring-clad hand taking yours. “Not the way I like you,” he breathes, his other thumb tracing a faint line over your jaw. “Not even close.”
You close the gap between you, tilting your head so your lips meet his. The fear that he’ll hesitate or turn his head altogether disappears as soon as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss. His hand tucks behind your ear, and he leaves it there until you both have to break away for air.
The two of you wear matching smiles, shy but relieved. Eddie leans in to kiss you once again, only to be interrupted by the rest of the club’s musings.
“Took them long enough.”
“Seriously, I thought we were just gonna have to watch them pine over each other forever.”
“Crap, do you think they can hear us?”  
“Yeah, shit-heads, we can hear you,” Eddie calls out with a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief before turning back to you.
“Now, where were we?”
--
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joonipertree · 11 months
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Gang Leader Girlfriend Things™
Tags: Mikey x Fem!reader, Fluff, crack, no angst, he's only soft for you <3, love of his life
You know, I think the first rule of joining a gang should be 'don't piss off the leader'. Like, you wanna fight people who can whoop your ass? Go for it, that takes courage and respect. But you join a gang like Toman with 'Invincible Mikey' as the head, the one thing you should probably not do is make him mad.
(Nobody is stupid enough to do that though, much less Toman.)
Mikey personally didn't fight the weak, finds no joy in something that isn't a challenge. Two highschoolers that got recruited by Mitchy's crew? He could tell they were nothing from the back of their babbling heads.
"My god, there's no way a girl like that is here. She's so fucking hot."
"What's a girl even doing in a gang? There's no way she fights."
Mikey's eye twitched. Not only are you most definitely in Toman, with a gang jacket and everything (You had your own but you ended up wearing his most of the time, pretty in what's his.) One of Toman's strongest was Senju, someone who would kick their ass too.
"Do you think she's single?"
"She is not." Mikey drawled, eyes dead and head tilted. Draken came behind him, wondering why his captain was just standing there. Mikey was always friendly with new members but very evidently, those two were an exception.
"What a bummer. She could've been mine."
Draken wanted to laugh so badly but Mikey's hand was warning him into silence before he could.
Mikey couldn't see the dude's face but knew that he was too ugly for you. You weren't into pathetic fucks. And the only person Mikey was pathetic for, was you.
A lot of gang members' eyes were on them now, ready to bow to their captain but stopping when Draken raised his palm. They could tell something was off, looking at the two kids who just didn't bother turning. The aura around Mikey was practically tangible though, suffocating to anyone who took notice.
Yamagishi staggered towards his friends, ready to point out the very dangerous threat behind them. Of course, he was the one who recruited them. If he wasn't Takemitchy's friend, Mikey would've added him to his blacklist. Mikey's finger against his lip kept Yamagishi from saying anything. Their fates were sealed already.
"Man, I could probably take her boyfriend on. Easy win and I get her."
Draken choked, Yamagishi wanted to die, the few people who were close enough to listen stepped away. Mikey still didn't say anything, because the moment he was waiting for finally happened.
Chifuyu had let you know of the arrival with a nod of his head, pausing in his rant about a manga you guys had been reading. You saw Draken's head first, eyes lowering, knowing that Mikey would always fall close. And there he was, his blond ponytail the only thing you could see. Your heart filled up like it always did because fuck, you wanted to consume him in your love. His eyes peaked out and your smile stretched your cheeks.
You walked as if on auto pilot, feet having a pep in them as you did. He stepped out in full view and you squealed at his gentle eyes and outstretched arms. You practically ran to him, you missed him and missed him and missed him.
Your shoulder grazed someone's as you zoomed past and launched yourself into Manjiro's warm embrace. Strong arms encircled you immediately, his cheek squishing against yours. And before you knew it, your feet were off the ground as he twirled you around. Unabashed laughter left your lips, hanging onto him and letting his warm and wet kisses pepper your face. The swooping in your chest was welcomed, clinging to the boy you've loved for years. Your precious----
"Hi, Jiro~" You crooned, eyes open to catch his reddened cheeks and sparkling eyes.
He put your feet on the ground and pulled you close by the waist, noses touching each other's.
"Hi, baby." He said in a hushed voice.
You gave his cheek a peck, knowing one on the lips would result in him not getting off of you. There was supposed to be a meeting, so you decided to have him later. Being a gang leader's girlfriend was hard work.
"Did you have a good day?" You asked, knowing he woke up an hour ago, barely in the realm to text you a 'good morning, honey' ('Morning' in Mikey's realm was 1pm).
"Mhm." Mikey hummed, giving your cheek a kiss too. You relished in it.
"Where are you going?" Draken's voice came gruffly and you saw the tall man with his hands on two members' shoulders.
Your boyfriend's gaze fell on them, hardened and cold. It made you shiver, his arms tightening around you when you did. It didn't scare you, he looked hot but it never meant anything good.
You blinked at the two boys, confused and just now noticing the complete silence and the eyes of everyone on you.
I mean, you were a spectacle whenever Jiro was involved but weren't they used to it by now?
"You guys have really bad awareness if you didn't notice me even when I spoke up. I don't know if we want that in our gang." Mikey's words were sweet but dripping in venom, a grin to hide his clear rage.
"I'm so so sorry, boss! We didn't know she was yours, I swear!!" Dude no 1 got on his knees immediately, more so because his legs gave out.
"It's our first day, please have mercy." Dude no 2 shouted, bowing till his head met the floor.
Oh, you thought, they were actual idiots.
Seeing people bow and beg at your boyfriend was always surreal. You knew he had repertoire and respect because of years of being a gang leader. Personally, you never really understood gang things tm. But you knew your Mikey could kick ass and people looked up to him, so you always enjoyed the times he did gang leader things tm cuz it was hot.
"Yamagishi, you recruited them so you have responsibility. Have anything to add?" Mikey asked the frozen boy, who probably stopped breathing a long time ago.
"Uh, it was Takemitchy's idea?" The boy said, knowing who Mikey's kryptonite was.
"You're the one who asked me. Don't try to get me killed along with them!" The acting president hollered.
Mikey turned to his best friend, smile still plastered on his face. If Takemitchy didn't have the trauma to back up his biggest endeavour, he would be worried that the dark impulse would've possessed him from that interaction alone.
"Mitchy, normally I would let the head captain step in for any decision made about their division. But since they directly challenged me, we have to deal with it like all gangs do, right?"
"We didn't....we didn't know, promise!" Dude no 2 peeped out.
"Hmm, but wasn't it you who said that you could take her boyfriend on? It'd be an easy win? There's enough people who witnessed that."
"Oh, Lord Almighty." Takemitchy murmured, "nothing can save them now."
"Not even an hour in and they're going to die." Another murmur from the crowd. (It was Ran)
"I never said that, I am not a part of this." Dude no 1 threw his friend under the bus immediately. It was understandable.
"'She could've been mine,'" Mikey practically sang, taking off his jacket, "is what you said, right?"
"No I couldn't," you spoke absentmindedly, only looking at your boyfriend cuz you'd lost interest in the morons, "you're too ugly for me."
It was a blow that hit almost as hard as the kick they were about to receive. Mikey let out an affectionate snort as he covered your head with his jacket. The heavy material blocking your peripheral as he left your side within a second. A sick crack brandished the air, followed by two thuds.
"Welp, that fight didn't last. How boring, wanted to show off." Mikey sounded bored, the asphalt crunching under his slippers as he walked back.
"Are they--" Takemitchy's panicked pitch followed, a very common tone whenever Mikey was involved.
"Breathing." Draken called out, giving them a light kick on the side to check.
"Takemitchy, your crew is banned from recruiting." Their leader yelled back with his head only half turned, a flurry of 'yes sir!'s came.
"Thank you for holding onto my jacket, baby." Mikey whispered as he took the jacket off your head and draped it on his shoulders. His eyes were back to being kind and gentle, warm hand cupping your face in gratitude. You melted into him, eyes closing. He left a kiss on your forehead, keeping you close.
"Ah, I'm hungry," he whined, "let's go get mcdonald's. I didn't eat breakfast."
"You didn't?" You asked as he interwined your fingers together and tugged.
"I had cereal but that barely counts." Mikey started chattering on, waving a hand to dismiss the meeting that never began.
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