#being alone scared him but it's all he'd ever known | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clanwarrior-tumbly · 11 hours

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Cant help but notice krubus stardew in the requests,,, so if i may,,,

How about a oneshot/headcanons, whichever ya think works better, for a farmer Reader who's roommates with Krobus, and Shane ends up visiting the farm, and accidentally finds Krobus and the reader is trying their best to calm the situation down or smthn? :]

Ofc you dont have to do this!!

Salt anon (have a good day also!!! always lovely to see ya on my dash :] )

YES MY TWO FAVES <3333

Got carried away but I had so many ideas for this one

.......

'I should check the coop. The void chicken could be hungry, and [y/n] may appreciate me stepping up. But...what if a human saw me? Oh Yoba...I hope there's no surprise visitors today..'

As Krobus paced around your cabin, he kept looking outside the window at the snowfall, the coop just within his sights. It was the second day of winter, and all of the animals you've been raising were huddled inside for the season, the hay keeping their bellies full.

But something told him that the void chicken you recently introduced to the farm felt lonely, a misfit among the "normal" chickens. She wasn't too sociable around them, and that worried Krobus.

Of course he, of all people, could understand why.

To this very day, the shadow monster couldn't fathom why you'd take him into your home..when his existence alone scared humanity and could damage your reputation with the town.

What would the villagers think if they learned you're housing a beast who once dwelled in the mines?

Many weren't anywhere near as brave as you were when it comes to venturing deep into shadow monster territory....and the few who had the guts to made it their personal mission to slay as many of his people as possible.

Or at least..what remained of them after the elemental wars.

Surprisingly enough, some of the brutes began visiting your farmland at night, and Krobus would see them hiding in the foliage, behind trees..or even rummaging through your crops, yet never taking anything for themselves.

He wishes he could greet them normally, ask what drew them to the surface, or try to reason that you're a good human who shouldn't be attacked.

Yet in the back of his mind...he feared being branded a traitor for siding with the species that hurt so many of his own people.

What would they do if they noticed his pendant and realized a human gifted it to him?

Surely they would freak out, coerce him into coming back to the mines where it was "safe"...or worse, they'd kill you and make him watch. He couldn't let his presence be known, lest they discovered you were housing him and destroyed the life you built here.

You would think he betrayed you and brought a siege upon your land--after all you've done to shelter him from the cruelty of the world.

Not even Yoba would forgive such a sin.

Even though he felt his connection with his people drifting with each passing week, he was content with his choice to live with you. He wouldn't trade your kindness and generosity for the world.

Plus, you've told him over and over that you knew what you were signing up for. You knew it when you first bought a void egg from him. You knew it when you and the wizard broke up his fight with Dwarf. You knew it when you created a space in your home that suited his environmental needs.

All he could offer you was a stardrop in return, but it was more than enough for you.

Krobus vowed to contribute to the farm's many tasks how ever he could..when it safe for him to step outside of course.

On this cold winter's day, he figured checking out the coop would be a great first step.

He peeked into your bedroom, discovering you to be sound asleep and looking rather peaceful.

Indeed, it was a stark contrast to how battered and bruised you were last night, having returned from the Skull Caverns at midnight. None of his people ventured there, considering the desert climate would be unbearable for them to live in, but while sharing meals he'd listen to your tales of serpents, mummies, and even dinosaurs living down below.

By comparison..the monsters in the mines seemed tamer and were somewhat civilized, and at his request you managed to avoid fighting them if you could.

The beasts you encountered in the Skull Caverns were brutal and unforgiving, and you had no choice but to defend yourself.

This trip in particular took quite a toll on your body, as you had to use a warp totem to get home...and even then, you were limping from sheer exhaustion. So much so Krobus had to assist you up the stairs and into your bed. He ran the the risk of being seen, yet his concern over your health took priority.

Sleep didn't easily come for him, but it only did after he prayed and thanked Yoba for bringing you home.

He didn't like the idea of you pushing yourself to work so early in the morning, so he decided he'll help lighten that load.

Starting with the coop.

Opening the door, he breathed in the crisp winter air, relieved to not see any humans in sight. There was your pet, who was initially frightened by his sudden arrival, but now warmly greeted him as they climbed the steps.

Krobus laughed softly, crouching down to pet them. "Good morning, little one." He whispered. "Enjoying the snow? I like it very much..but I can't say our chicken friends will agree."

He stood and continued on his way to the small building, eager to check up on your animals and see to it that they're fed.

But unbeknownst to him, a human arrived onto your farmland at that same moment, only seeing a dark figure creeping into the coop.

And he just so-happened to be the man who cared for chickens more than life itself.

......

Shane arrived at your farm, holding a small envelope with a letter inside. It contained a recipe for some dessert--not one that he made or discovered, of course, but rather one he tore out of a magazine.

His first thought was of you, knowing you liked gathering fresh produce and made your own meals..compared to him, a lazy bum who microwaves processed garbage in a plastic dish and called it "dinner."

It wasn't much, but it was the least he could do for a friend who pulled him out of such a dark place..

You were taking a shortcut to the sewer when you found him near the cliffs...where he was truly at his lowest. He doesn't remember much of what he said, but you told him that he considered ending his own life, yet changed his mind after you told him some comforting words.

All the strength you've gained down in the mines allowed you to drag him to the hospital, where you stayed by his side the entire night. Even when Harvey assured you he'll be okay, you refused to abandon him.

Shane never thought anybody in this town would care if he just up and disappeared, yet despite his rudeness towards you...you managed to break down his walls and show him that you cared.

And all it took were some peppers, pizza, eggs, and stupid amounts of persistence.

It really hit him that he almost did something he couldn't reverse..and he never wanted you, Jas, or Marnie to see him get that bad again.

So he promised to make some serious changes, see that counselor Harvey recommended to him, and cut back on the hours he spends at the saloon after work.

The last time you both talked, you mentioned Robin upgrading your coop's space, and Shane was thrilled. So he figured he'd come visit and see how the animals were doing in this cold weather.

He was also curious about that "void egg" you got from a merchant...and he wondered who it was if not Marnie.

Obviously he'd feel like a jerk if he came emptyhanded, or awkward if you weren't actually home right now, thus he decided to bring the letter and recipe just in case. A small surprise "gift" for you to come back to later.

As he approached your mailbox, however, he noticed a dark figure opening the door to your coop. He couldn't tell who it was as they quickly went inside, as though afraid of being seen.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep making him see things, but-

"Huh? What kinda tracks are these..?" He looked down, finding footprints in the snow that didn't belong to any human's.

In fact, they seemed to have clawed toes..

Just like a monster's.

At the saloon, you recounted tales of how you've encountered slimes, plant monsters, bats, and even shadow creatures on your farmland at night--as well as your adventures down in the mines with skeletons, ghosts, and more.

Most of the regulars were 99% certain you were drunk, but others believed your stories and were fascinated by them, as you'd show them gems as proof of your excursions. Sebastian in particular was intrigued by the frozen tear you discovered, flattered that you allowed him to keep it.

Shane, on the other hand, merely dismissed your tales with a "buh" and an eyeroll before sipping away at his beer. He was never a strong believer in the supernatural..convinced that only slimes, rock crabs, flies, and bats dwelled in the mines and nothing else.

Living Skeletons? Metal Heads?? Shadow Shamans???

You HAD to be either drunk, on drugs, or both at the same time.

Although he's become more open-minded to your stories since befriending you, he was still skeptical...yet the footprints he was seeing in the snow didn't match up to any animal he knew in the valley.

Whatever it was, it must've figured out that your coop was an all-you-can-eat-buffet.

That thought alone made him break out into a cold sweat, picking up a stone before rushing towards the building. He didn't hear any noise inside, and that made him all the more concerned.

You helped him when he needed it most, and now he'll repay you by defending your chickens...even though he knew nothing about fighting monsters.

Upon opening the door, he was stunned to find a shadowy humanoid creature holding your void chicken in its arms. It had a goopy smile on its face, looking down at the bird-

Before there was a furious shout.

"HEY! Put that chicken down!"

.........

"HEY! Put that chicken down!"

Just as you were tuning into the Oracle's channel on TV, you were startled by the sound of Shane yelling at someone-

Wait..

'What's Shane doing on my farm? And at this hour, too?? I thought he sleeps in all the time..' Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked around the house.

"Krobus? You in here? I may have a visitor."

No response.

You checked the monster's room, and sure enough didn't find him in there.

Normally he'd freak out and hide beneath your bed if he even caught a glimpse of a human outside. You'd always tell him ahead of time if a friend was coming to visit just so he knew when and how long to stay hidden.

Of course, you never liked having to keep Krobus a secret, yet you understood why he believed that was for the best. He was so, so afraid to go with you even after gifting him the void ghost pendant--a precious amulet from his culture, symbolizing unity and devotion to another.

His worst fear was you being shunned and getting hurt because of him. But you promised to make things work, and so far you've had no problems.

The only other place he'd go besides your cabin was the coop, having grown fond of the animals there and the void chicken you were raising. The winter allowed him to bond with them.

But if he's there right now..and you just heard Shane yell, then-

'Oh fuck.'

Throwing on your boots and jacket, you rushed out the door, damn near slipping on the pathway to the coop.

You opened the door, finding Shane staring down your terrified roommate with anger, ready to throw a stone at who he believed was a monster trying to eat your livestock.

But as he reeled his arm back, he was confused by your hand grabbing his wrist. "Huh?! Hey! Let go!" He grunted.

"Shane, what the hell are you doing?!"

For a moment, he blinked and stared at you as though you had several heads. "What does it look like? I'm....that thing was trying to eat your chickens!" He pointed to Krobus, who was now curled up in the corner, having let go of the void chicken long ago.

"That's one of the monsters you were talking about, right? Don't you have a sword or something that could-?"

"He's not a threat."

Shane froze. "..huh?"

"His name is Krobus. He's a shadow person I met in the sewers." Letting him go, you opted to stand between the two. Krobus immediately got up and latched onto your shirt, hiding behind you for protection.

"The sewers? Jas and Vincent said they saw a monster through the grates, but I thought it was some imaginary friend."

"Well news flash, he's real. And right now he's more scared of you." You huffed. "Now please..put the rock down."

After some hesitance, he complied and dropped the stone. "Fine..sorry. I thought it--he was trying to-"

"I would never harm one of Yoba's precious creatures!" Krobus snapped, despite his voice trembling. "Especially not one that [y/n] so lovingly raised."

"You...understand what I'm saying?" Shane looked astonished.

"Of course.." The shadow monster calmed down a little, but redirected his anger to you. "You..we had an agreement. You promised to tell me if someone was coming."

"I didn't know he was here at all." You frowned. "You could've told me you were checking out the coop."

"But you were so weary from last night, and I thought you'd appreciate sleeping in-!"

"Look..if it helps, I can just leave and pretend none of this ever happened."

Both of you looked at Shane, who was slowly making his way to the door, only for him to stop as you sighed.

There's no way you could hide this now..

"Stay. This isn't something you can "pretend" never happened. Let's all head back to my house and I'll explain everything. Maybe we can come to an understanding without any violence. Whatdya say, boys?"

Shane and Krobus briefly glanced at each other, before silently nodding.

.........

"So basically...you got chased out of your home by Dwarves, had some great war with them, got cozy in the sewers...and [y/n] just...stumbled upon you?"

"Erm..slight correction, the local librarian had a key to the sewers, which [y/n] obtained. And only then they stumbled upon me-"

"After I donated like 60 artifacts to the museum, of course." You added on as you stood by the oven, watching the timer.

For a brief moment, you looked back at the two people sitting awkwardly at the table:

Shane, who was still wondering if the shadow monster sitting across from him was really a monster, a hallucination from his withdrawals, or just..someone in a SUPER convincing costume.

And Krobus, who stared at this scruffy, tired man who desperately needed a shave and a new jacket--the only other human he's spoken to aside from you and Rasmodius.

"Wow..I'd say I need a drink, but um..I'm in recovery right now. So I gotta cut back on those." Shane admitted, scratching awkwardly at his hair. "Do you like living on this farm with [y/n], Krobus?"

"It was...a difficult transition. Something I never expected to happen." He fidgeted with the pendant around his neck. "Our existence..terrifies humans. They attacked us when we came to the surface to make peace, so we stopped and hid back underground. We learned the world wasn't kind to those who were different. But [y/n] showed me that not all of them are like that...and I'm grateful for all they've done for me. I don't regret my choice.."

Then he looked to you, suddenly bashful. "A-As long as they don't regret it, of course..sometimes I feel like all of this is a dream. Or some foolish prank.."

"It's no dream or prank, Krob. I have no regrets becoming your friend." You smiled and patted the monster's head reassuringly, before glancing at Shane. "Just like I don't regret befriending this guy."

"Yeah..I was uh..in a pretty bad place myself." He mumbled, suddenly finding the weather outside more interesting.

"You said your name was "Shane", right?"

He blinked, looking back to Krobus. "Uh yeah?"

"Did you know that means "gift from Yoba"?" His eyes lit up, smiling from ear-to-ear as he clasped his hands together. "You should be proud of it! You are a blessed child of.....um...what's with that look?"

Shane's expression abruptly shifted to one of discomfort, and he couldn't help but shrink back. "Did..I say something wrong? W-Was I out of line?"

"No, no. I probably should've mentioned this sooner, but I'm actually atheist."

"....as in...you don't believe in Yoba?"

Reluctantly, Shane nodded and averted his gaze once more, expecting some kind of lecture or change in his friendly tone that would make this his first and last conversation with him.

Nobody liked it when he mentioned how he stopped believing in Yoba long ago, especially after what happened with Jas' parents and how his life just plummeted into a downward spiral since then. He feels like his name was cruel joke, and he had a pit in his stomach whenever he was reminded of it.

So now he was fully expecting this devout monster to spew something vile and call him a "horrible nonbeliever"-

"Why the guilty face?"

"..wha?" He did a double-take, seeing Krobus' smile return.

"I've observed humans long enough to understand their religious preferences, or lack thereof. We have our beliefs, and you have yours..and that is okay." He reassured. "No need to feel ashamed, Shane."

It took the man a few moments to process his words..before a small smile appeared on his face as well, shoulders less tense than before. "Whew..thanks. Seriously..you're somehow more understanding than all the people in my life." He chuckled dryly.

Krobus was about to respond, when the ding from your kitchen timer made the two pause their conversation, seeing you take something out of the oven.

It was a dessert that had a shimmering purple hue.

"Oh hey..you actually made it?" Shane blinked. "The infamous "Strange Bun"?"

"Yep! It actually looks pretty.." You smiled, setting it on the stove so it could cool down. "I almost don't wanna eat it...but I'm sure we can split it three ways."

"I recognize that dessert." Krobus gasped. "It's considered a delicacy among my people! How I've longed to taste it again....but how did you come to possess its recipe?" He looked to Shane, who simply dug out a crumpled magazine page from his pocket.

"Right here. It looked good, and [y/n] likes cooking stuff and finding the ingredients themselves..so I figured it's something new they could try."

"And it came out fantastic." You chuckled, bringing over plates of the strange bun and sitting down at the table, passing them to your friends. "Dig in, boys."

While Krobus was actively drooling and devouring it with his bare hands, you took a few bites and instantly felt rejuvenated....whereas Shane kept awkwardly poking at it with a fork, eyebrows furrowed.

"You sure this is safe to eat? Like..I'm not gonna keel over, am I?"

"...you're acting like Jas when she doesn't wanna eat her vegetables."

".....shut it." With a grumble, he rolled his eyes before finally taking a couple bites. You and Krobus watched him in anticipation, studying his reaction.

Only to be met with disappointment.

"Eh..I think I'll stick to frozen pizzas, but thanks. Here. It's all yours." He pushed the half-eaten bun towards Krobus, who gleefully finished it up.

"Thank you..this was delightful." The shadow monster swallowed, looking up at you both, frowning slightly. "But I do fear..now that one more person knows of my existence, word may spread to the town and-"

"I won't tell anyone."

"....really?" He looked at Shane, surprised.

"I used to not believe in "shadow people"..I actually thought you guys were just stuff of fiction. But no, you're actually pretty cool. And...I get that feeling of being stuck in a dark place, thinking you're a pest and a burden who has no future to look forward to. It sucks, but [y/n] here..." He paused and gestured to you with a smile. "They pulled me out of that funk, and it seems they'd pulled you out of one, too."

"They have..I-I find this hard to believe, but it seems we have more in common than I first thought." Krobus chuckled softly. "I'm glad we could come to an understanding, and that you embrace my existence, Shane."

"Yeah, uh...glad you can..embrace mine as well." He mumbled, already kicking himself mentally for how weird that sounded. "But tell me..you like caring for chickens, too? I saw that one with the black feathers and red eyes."

"Indeed, that is a void chicken! I've carried their eggs for ages, but the mines weren't suitable enough to raise chicks in. Then [y/n] showed me the coop, and now I know they're in good hands."

"Ah...did you wanna meet Charlie sometime? Or one of my blue chickens?"

"......chickens can be blue?" Krobus had such a starry-eyed look, as though he had just been told the secrets of the universe.

Meanwhile, you were just cleaning the dishes, listening to their conversation delve into chicken care, eggs, and more. And you could only smile, glad to see that your monster roommate was finally warming up to humans.

Only a select few will get to see him, as you didn't wanna compromise his safety...

But for now, Shane is the only one you could trust.

#clanask #salt anon #stardew valley x reader #sdv x reader #sdv shane #sdv shane x reader #sdv krobus #sdv krobus x reader #platonic #the only connection these fellas have is the 'strange bun' and once i figured that out-#i got back on track to writing this heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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dalvs-wife · 19 days

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i have thoughts about dalv's parents if you even care............

#he was close with his mama but not rly with his papa #and seeing from pictures he always knew they were happier before he came around #so when his mom got sick and passed away #yeahhhh ummm. not great #he always had trouble making friends so he had no real connections after that #his dad was always absent in his life but even moreso after his mom passed #dalv essentially raised himself #he desired connections but honestly he was scared of being hurt #and nobody liked him anyway. he was always looked at funny #he found refuge in books #art n music #being alone scared him but it's all he'd ever known #yeah. ummm i have. thoughts.... and feelings about this #my art #doodles #dalv #corn vamp boy <3

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yandere-daydreams · 23 days

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tw - unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, somnophilia, implied non/con, mentions of knots.

Puppy!Yuuta, who catches your eye the second you step into the shelter, despite the fact that he’s not at all what you were looking for. You need a service animal, and as cruel as it feels to say, hybrids of undeterminable origins with less-than-stellar past homes aren’t known to be very consistent, let alone trainable when it comes to such a high-stakes job. You were supposed to meet a pure-bred, highly recommended husky hybrid whose previous owner was no longer able to take care of him, but it was over for you as soon as you saw those big, dark, watery eyes – nearly hidden entirely by overgrown hair and jet-black ears that seemed to droop even lower whenever you threatened to look away from him. You’re already a lost cause by the time you ask a shelter employee for his name, and the paperwork’s signed within the hour. He leaves with you the same day, eyes on the ground and tail wagging a mile a minute.

Puppy!Yuuta, who was always meant to be someone's spoiled pet. He's shy, at first, scared to talk too loudly or cling too tightly or do anything that'll get him sent back to the shelter (no matter how clear you make it that that's a non-option), but it only takes him a few days to warm up to you, a couple weeks to come out of his shell, just under a month to start sleeping in your bed and trailing you around your apartment. He almost trips over himself when you ask if he'd like to wear a collar, and soon enough, he's more akin to a second-shadow than a dog. He does have some aggression issues, particularly when it comes to human men, but he's an angel with other hybrids, and when he bows his head and pouts, you really can't help but forgive him. With a life like the one he must've had, you can't really blame him for being so quick to bear his teeth.

Puppy!Yuuta, who's more than ecstatic when you mention still needing a service animal. He might not be qualified on paper, sure, but he's already constantly at your side, constantly worrying about you - it'd just feel wrong to go out and get another hybrid for a job Yuuta is more than capable of. He says he likes that idea of being able to take care of you, too - like you take care of him. You want to ask him not to be so sappy, to think of a slightly less sentimental way to say it, but when he's so happy and so, so proud of himself, it's hard to be even that strict.

Puppy!Yuuta, who cums untouched the first time you comb your fingers through his hair. You don't seem to notice, and he does his best to hide his face in your lap, to bite back the little, pathetic whimpers that crawl up his throat whenever you scratch at the base of his ears. He doesn't want to scare you, to be so needy so suddenly when you've been so kind.

Puppy!Yuuta, whose one and only flaw is that he can't seem to stop riffling through your dirty laundry. He can't be left alone for more than an hour without stealing one of your oldest, most threadbare shirts or worse, claiming a pair of your underwear as his newest chew-toy. You really should chastise him for it, but it's such an awkward thing to talk about, and he has such a sweet face - it's hard to believe he could ever do anything deliberately wrong. You've resigned yourself to just trying to limit the damage and salvage the less damaged items, even if those mysterious stains are a little hard to get out.

Puppy!Yuuta, who wishes he didn't have such a big, bulky knot. It's too thick and too heavy and seems to swell up whenever he gets even a little hard. If he didn't have a knot, he'd be able to actually thrust into you, rather than just fucking his fist over your sleeping body and imagining how tight you'd be, how pretty you'd look, how nice it would be to make you feel as warm and as soft as he feels because of you. He does what he can with his tongue, but you don't seem to like waking up with his saliva soaking everything between your thighs, and he always gets too excited when he tastes you. If he has to rut against your thigh that desperately again, he's afraid you might wake up and scold him.

Puppy!Yuuta, who can't wait until he works up the courage to mate with you properly. He knows it's still too soon, that it'd scare you to do it so abruptly, that he doesn't deserve it yet, but soon, he'll be able to to step up and take care of you as something more than just a pet. He's not there right now, but one day, he just knows he'll be the perfect mate for you <3

#yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere yuta #yandere yuuta #yuuta x reader #yuta x reader #yandere okkotsu yuuta #yandere okkotsu yuta

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anton-luvr · 6 months

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# WHEN A GIRL TRIES TO FLIRT WITH THEM ; 7riize.

⚝ bf!riize x gn!reader | fluff...? or crack idk | bf au ⚝ note ; another reaction!! live laugh love riize + reqs are CLOSED

# SHOTARO. - very respectful and civil. will drop her with a 'oh sorry, i'm taken!' and offer an awkward smile before going back to whatever he was doing. if she kept insisting and wouldn't leave him alone, he'd just walk out of the party and go home to you. he'd rather spend time with the love of his life than being bothered by some random girlie.

# EUNSEOK. - he'll live up to his nickname of silver stone. straight up ignores her and doesn't even bother to spare a glance, just focused on talking with his friends and having a good time with drinks. if she was annoying, he'd throw a nasty side eye and a scoff at her before completely turning away.

# SUNGCHAN. - i just know that he'll go 'oh sorry, no english!!' in the most heavy korean accent ever. keeps shaking his head no and does shooing motions with his hands even though he can perfectly understand what the girl is saying. if by some unfortunate chance that she knows korean too, sungchan will create some sort of language of his own and start rambling gibberish to confuse her away. he proudly calls it 'sungchanese' >:)

# WONBIN. - bro will pull out every weird dance move made known to man. i'm talking about moving around like a chicken dancing on lava while being in space. he'll even swing air punches as a dance move to startle the girl off. not the most peaceful method to reject a girl, but wonbin will do what he needs to do !!

# SEUNGHAN. - he's prepared for this. the moment a random girl saunters up to him all flirty, he'll pull up the powerpoint he made of you. he'll say 'hi! here's my partner!' and proceed to stick the fifty slides long powerpoint in the girl's face, each slide being a pic of you and little notes of his favorite thing about you. even after the girl leaves, he'll continue going through the powerpoint on his own because you're just so pretty <3

# SOHEE. - immediately backs away, hitting her with the 'woah chill bro, i'm taken' while showing off the promise ring you got for each other. if that's not enough for her to go away, sohee won't hesitate to start barking. he knows he looks like a madman, but hey - desperate times call for desperate measures. when she's finally scared off, he'll grin proudly at his laughing friends and tell you all about it when he gets home.

# ANTON. - very uncomfortable. he won't even know what to say or do, so he calls you and asks for help. he listens when you tell him to put you on speakerphone, eyes widening when you immediately obliterate the girl and scream at her to back off. anton can't help but blush as he keeps replaying your shouted 'that's my man' and 'he's all mine' in his head, all giggly and flustered when he comes home and into your arms.

taglist: @wonbons (drop an ask to be added to my taglist!)

#riize #riize fluff #riize angst #riize fics #riize imagines #riize drabbles #riize scenarios #riize x reader #riize anton #riize wonbin #riize sohee #riize seunghan #riize eunseok #riize sungchan #riize shotaro

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violentdelightsandviolentends · 1 year

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Self Control.

Javi keeps refusing himself what he wants. One night puts everything into perspective.

Pairing - Javier Peña x female reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - Cursing, mentions of blood and death

Word Count - 3429

Author's Note - hello lovely people, hope you're all well. i've been a huge fan of pedro pascal since his narcos days, so all of this love for him happening currently is making me very happy. javier peña is perhaps my favourite tv character of all time, so i'm very excited to share this story with you. i'd always love to write more javi stuff, so if you ever have any thoughts, please send them my way. i'm happy to write for all pedro characters actually!! as always, much love x

Masterlist. Requests.

It wasn't supposed to go like this.

It was supposed to be simple. A routine raid. Get the information and go.

How did it all go so wrong?

Gunshots. Blood. A sea of green uniforms scattering the ground. Escobar had somehow known about it. He was taking no prisoners.

The Search Bloc had lost men. The Colombian Police had lost men. You were just praying that you hadn't.

Javier Peña and Steve Murphy were still out there. You had no idea if they were okay. They could be shot, bleeding out. Kidnapped. Or worse.

No.

You're driving yourself insane thinking of all the possible worse case scenarios. Your mind can't help but go there. It's instinct.

You're sat waiting. Hoping. Praying. You've made your home at Javi and Steve's desks - they're more central to the action than your own. You're watching the front doors, sat in Javi's chair. It smells like cigarette smoke, and musk, and him. You let the familiar scent envelope you, allowing it to bring you comfort. You breathe him in. He'll be here soon. You know he will.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Javier Peña was a complicated man. An enigma. He was tough, but gentle. Rugged, but tender. Commanding, but reserved. He was one big juxtaposition. Impossible to read.

Or so he thought.

You came along, and challenged every single one of his existing beliefs. You turned him soft - more understanding, more empathetic. He'll tell you he hates it. He lies.

You weren't supposed to be here. Not really. You'd followed your brother, a DEA agent, all the way from Texas to Colombia. He'd told you he was being sent to South America to assist with the Pablo Escobar situation, and you'd packed your bags without a second thought. You had no one else. Wherever he goes, you go. Except one place.

He'd died two months into the job. Shot dead by Escobar's men, in a situation that he shouldn't have even been in. And all of a sudden, you were alone. Alone in an unfamiliar place. Alone in the world.

Javier made sure that wasn't true. He took you under his wing like an injured baby bird, slowly but surely nursing you back to health. He'd been there, when Carrillo had told you the fate of your brother. He'd caught you in his arms when your knees had given out, held you like he was scared you were going to shatter into a thousand pieces. He was holding you together. He has been, ever since.

You were just a secretary. The odd one out. The only woman. Looked down on. People pitied you, really. You heard the things they said. Even if you didn't understand, you heard. You could take a guess.

The world was a terrifying place for a woman. It was a terrifying place in general. But it seemed to be less scary knowing that Javier and Steve were at their desks just across the precinct every day. Your safety blankets. Your protectors. Which is exactly why the thought of losing either of them was currently ripping you apart from the inside out.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Your eyes shot up every time the door opened. Slowly but surely, members of the Search Bloc filtered in - many of them bloody, and injured, but alive. You weren't taking your eyes off the entrance to the precinct. Not for a second. Not when any minute, Peña and Murphy could walk in, and everything would be okay again. Any minute now, you reassure yourself. Any minute now.

You hear steel toe boots on the linoleum floor, and your breath hitches… but it’s Colonel Carrillo. He spots you from across the room and strides over, ignoring any pleas for his attention from the Search Bloc guys. He envelopes you in a hug - professionalism be damned.

“Are you okay?”, you ask when he pulls back. “What happened? I’ve been going insane listening over the radio.”

“I’m okay, mi amor. We’re still trying to figure out what went wrong. He knew, someone had to have told him.”

You’re just about to ask him about Murphy and Peña when he says,

“We got separated in the chaos. I don’t know where they are, but I’m sure they’re fine. Try not to panic, okay?”

He’s looking at you carefully, and you’re nodding, but you know you aren’t going to take his advice. If anything, now you’re panicking more. Men are filtering through the door every minute, but none of them are the two you’re looking for. Anxiety creeps into your stomach, wraps its claws around your insides. You can’t shake it. You feel like you’re being swallowed by dread - it’s all too familiar. You know exactly what it’s like to have someone you love go into the field and not return.

Carrillo strokes your cheekbone with his thumb gently, and leaves to attend to his men. You sit back down in Javi’s chair, trying to burrow into his scent, the warmth of the leather. You can imagine his big strong arms wrapping themselves around you, the way he nuzzles his nose into the crown of your head when he hugs you, how he traces patterns on your back when he holds you when you’re particularly upset.

You think about Steve, and the way he winks at you when you catch eye contact across the room, or how he throws an arm around your shoulders whenever he sidles over to your desk to bother you. He’s always stealing candy from your top drawer, and then acting innocent when you call him out on it. You feign annoyance, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You know you’re lucky to have the two of them looking out for you. You know you’re lucky to have Carrillo on your side too - life would be undoubtedly more difficult without his protection. They make you feel less vulnerable, more equal. You no longer feel like a lamb at the slaughter every time you walk into work.

Drops of water hit your lap, and you realize you’re crying. Warm, wet tears slide down your cheeks, taking streaks of your mascara with them. Your lipstick has smudged where you’ve been peeling at the skin of your lips, and your nail polish has been incessantly picked at for hours. You know you look just as much of a mess on the outside as you feel on the inside. You close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Calm down, you tell yourself. You’d know if something bad had happened to them. You’d feel it.

It’s as if time has become molten - sticky, warm molasses. Minutes feel like hours. The world is moving in slow motion, and it’s making you dizzy. Your breath is coming in short, sharp pants, and the urge to curl up into a ball grows stronger by the second. If the boys don’t show up soon, you’re convinced you’re going to crumble into a thousand pieces. You feel like you’re shattering, splitting apart at the seams. Fear sits on your chest like an ugly, relentless creature, choking you with each passing minute. The world is getting colder, darker, and you’re defenseless.

And just like that, your sun appears. Battered, bruised, bloody, but alive. Standing in the doorway, panting and breathless, is Javier Peña. Before you can register what’s happening, you’re leaping out of his chair, and practically running to close the distance between you. You collide with the solid mass of a man, and he wraps his arms around you like it’s second nature. He smells like cigarettes and musk and gunpowder and the outdoors and smoke and home. Relief fills your body, and the weight of it almost knocks you off your feet. You settle further into his chest like you belong there, pressing your nose into him and inhaling.

You pull away, and notice that his chest is damp. The tears from before are back with a vengeance, sprinting their way down your cheeks, forming puddles wherever they can reach. You’re not sure if you’re crying due to happiness, or fear, or relief - perhaps a mixture of all three. You’re both still panting, looking at each other in disbelief. You fist your hands into the front of his shirt, as if to ground yourself to him. Checking he’s real. In the flesh.

“Don’t cry, cariño. I’m here. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

He’s murmuring quietly to you, as if you’re the only two people in the room. He reaches out, and gently uses his thumbs to swipe away the tears that are still escaping. Cradling your face in his big, calloused hands, he looks at you earnestly.

“I’ll always come back, bonita. You know I will. Just like I promised.”

He presses his forehead to yours, and for the first time in hours, you relax. You stay pressed together like that for what feels like an eternity, until you hear familiar footsteps approaching.

You break away from Javier to get a good look at Steve. He too is battered and bruised - hair mussed, shirt torn, blood staining his jeans and his hands. But he’s alive. That’s all that matters.

“Murphy,” you breathe, before wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You’d go out there and take down Escobar yourself if you could. If it meant you didn’t have to see your friends in pain anymore. This job is killing you all from the inside out, slowly but surely. You’re all shells of yourselves. You wonder how much longer you’re all going to be able to cope before you snap. You have a feeling that these two men in front of you are closer to their breaking points than you think.

“God, I need to shower. I’ve never sweat this much in my life,” Steve remarks, and now that you’re looking at him, you can’t help but agree. You nod, smirk etched on your face, and the corners of his lips turn up. A slight smile from Steve. That’s a win.

A voice rumbles from behind you in response to Murphy’s statement. Jesus, Javi was closer to you than you thought.

“Yeah, me too. You go. I’ll drive her home.” He places a hand on the small of your back, and you can feel the warmth of him seeping through his palm. He always runs so hot, you think to yourself. Your sun.

Murphy squeezes your arm and heads out the door, leaving you and Javier standing in the middle of the precinct. Everyone seems to be heading home, the room becoming increasingly quiet. You figure the two of you should follow suit. You gesture at Javi to give you a minute, and make your way over to the Colonel’s office, popping your head in the doorway.

“You should go home, Carrillo,” you say softly. “You need to sleep just as much as the rest of us.”

He smiles at you tentatively, his face dampened with worry. You can see clear as day that he’s blaming himself for the events of the evening. You also know that there’s nothing you can say to make it better.

“I will, querida. I will.”

And with that, you grab your things from your desk, and make your way over to where Javi is waiting for you. He returns his hand to the small of your back, and guides you to his car.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Your hands are shaking when you try to unlock the front door to your apartment. You can’t quite get the key in the lock, and it’s becoming frustrating. Why are you acting like you were the one being shot at tonight? All you had to do was sit at your desk and wait. Get a grip, you tell yourself. You’ve had it the easiest.

Javi can see you’re struggling, so he reaches out and opens the door for you. You step inside, immediately kicking off your heels and throwing down your purse. You turn on the lamp in the corner of the living room, and draw the blinds. All the while, Javi stands in the doorway, watching you complete your nightly rituals. It’s disarming to see you like this, he thinks. So domestic. So at peace.

He clears his throat awkwardly, and places his hand on the doorknob.

“Let me leave you alone, cariño. You need to rest. The adrenaline of tonight is going to wear off any minute, and we’re all gonna crash.”

He takes a step, but you lunge forward in his direction to stop him.

“Wait! Wait. I - I don’t… I can’t - please.” You can’t find the right words. In fact, you’re not even sure what you’re asking for.

He steps back inside your apartment, and shuts the door behind him gently, making sure to lock the deadbolt. He’s never been a man to take stupid chances when it comes to your safety. When it comes to you.

“What is it, mi amor?”, he asks carefully. “What do you need?”

“You,” you answer without a second thought. “Please don’t leave. I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight if you leave.”

He looks at you for a moment - carefully surveying. He takes in your appearance, the pain in your eyes, the way you look so small and fearful standing in front of him. It’s not even a question.

He kicks off his boots, and takes his wallet and his cigarettes out from the back pocket of his jeans, placing them on the counter. Then, he strides over, across the room, and smothers you in a hug that he’s convinced he probably needs more than you.

You stand like that, embraced in each other, for what feels like forever. Two people breathing each other in, trying to absorb the other person. If you could crawl into Javier’s chest, bury yourself into his ribcage, you would. No hug is ever close enough. Never enough. It’s never enough.

“I’ll stay,” he murmurs into your hair. “I’ll always stay.”

You pull back to gaze into those big brown eyes, warm and sweet like chocolate. He looks serene, peaceful, almost. You don’t get to see him like this very often.

“You should shower,” you tell him quietly. You’re worried that you’re going to spook one another, so you both keep the volume to a minimum. “I’ll make us some tea.”

He nods gently, and makes his way to your bathroom. Moments later, you hear the water running, so you begin to boil the kettle, reaching for two mugs from your cabinet.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You place a mug of tea on each nightstand either side of your bed, and slip out of your skirt and blouse. You opt for a tank top and shorts - the Colombian heat still unrelenting, even in the early hours of the morning. The sun will be up soon, you think. A new day.

Javi stands in the doorway of your bathroom with a towel slung low on his hips. Droplets of water are journeying down his chest, and your eyes follow, as if on instinct. He smirks when he catches you, watching your face heat up slightly.

“Cute bedsheets,” he remarks. “I like the love hearts.”

He’s still smirking, so you get up to smack him on the arm.

“Shut up, Javier,” you threaten, with no real malice. “Your tea is on the nightstand.”

You turn your back when he changes back into his black boxers, which only amuses him further. He can’t help but admire you from his place across the room. The way your hair blows slightly with the breeze from the opened window, the band of skin between where your tank top ends and your shorts begin, the sweat at the nape of your neck. He knows you’d taste like salt and sugar simultaneously. It takes everything in him not to run his tongue up your spine. You shiver from your spot on the edge of the bed, as if you can read his mind.

“I’m dressed, querida,” he almost whispers. You turn around, and shamelessly let your eyes rake over his golden skin, wishing so badly to reach out and touch him. He’s wearing significantly less clothes than you expected. Not that you’re complaining.

He lays down carefully on one side of your bed, stretching himself out on his back. You turn off the lamp on the nightstand, and lay down on the other side, careful to keep some distance between the two of you. You thought that having him here would relax you, but it seems to be doing the opposite. You feel like your nerve endings are on fire - the room is too warm, you can’t seem to get your lungs to fill with air, you’re hyper aware of every little movement in the room. You’re on edge.

Javi’s breathing is deep, calculated. He’s trying to keep calm. Everything in him is screaming to reach out and touch you, to throw an arm around your waist, to tangle his legs in between yours. He’s not sure he’s ever shown this level of self control.

“Javi,” you breathe. “Relax, please. I can feel how tense you are from here.”

He takes a deep breath before he answers you.

“Sorry, mi vida. I’m just - I’m… I’m trying.”

“Trying?”

“Trying to use every inch of restraint that I have.”

Your breath hitches, and he hears it, clear as day.

“What for?” you whisper.

“To resist the urge to touch you.”

You’re breathing quicker now, and so is he. The air in the room is thick with tension - it’s a miracle you’re both still conscious.

“You’ve never really been one to deny yourself of the things you want, Javi," you whisper. "You’re not usually the patron saint of self control.”

And with that, he snaps. He grabs your hips, and uses effortless strength to pull you so you’re straddling him, settled in his lap. He sits up to bring your faces level, and presses his forehead into yours, just like he did mere hours ago in the precinct.

You know that tonight has changed everything for the two of you. You also know there’s no going back from this - you can’t uncross this line. The friendship that exists between you and Javi, a relationship that’s been so carefully built on trust and support and boundaries - permanently altered if you continue. You just can’t seem to find it in you to care. Not really. You want Javier Peña for all he is, all he has. Consequences be damned.

“I love you, cariño,” he breathes into your mouth. “Fuck, I love you.”

You’re convinced that any minute, you’re going to wake up from this beautiful dream. But for now, you make the most of it.

“I love you, Javier Peña. I love you so much it hurts.”

And with that, he’s kissing you. It’s desperate, and it’s needy, and it’s so full of love you’re worried that you’re going to pass out. His lips are on your lips, and he’s got one hand firmly at the nape of your neck, holding you in place. As if I’m going anywhere, you think. I’d happily stay here forever.

You’re so lost in each other that you don’t notice the sunrise. Dawn hits the window, casting an orange hue across the room. Javi looks like he’s glowing, the sunlight glinting off his hair. Golden boy.

He pulls off your shirt, and presses his chest to yours. He’s convinced you’re tethered to each other - he can feel the connection through your skin. It almost makes him want to cry, this feeling. It’s never felt like this before. It never will again.

You wrap your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist, ensuring that there isn’t a centimeter of space between you. You don’t know what today holds. You know it won’t be easy. But you’re comforted by the fact that you know Javi will be right there beside you. No matter what happens from this moment on, Javi is always going to be right there beside you.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you breathe into his mouth.

“I love you, mi alma,” he breathes back. “Mi corazón, mi alma.”

My heart, my soul. It’s as if he took the words right out of your mouth.

Mi corazón, mi alma.

My heart, my soul.

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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months

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I fee like Jason would gently but firmly break off his relationship with his s/o because he'd want to try to distance you from his vigilante life, he'd obviously never tell you about his other life. he'd try to convince you to move out of Gotham, maybe after dumping you he'd convince one of your friends to contact a relative of yours who lives far outside Gotham to try to entice you out of the city because he can't fully concentrate knowing Gotham could get you at any moment.

If you don't leave you'd find that you escape a lot of situations you shouldn't and that known bad guys even pretty big criminals tend to just leave you alone and pretend you don't exist even if you happen to find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, a random goon will just escort you out or a mugger would realise his mistake and beg forgiveness and leave all your belongings safely beside you. Redhood follows you a lot not that you know, he wouldn't want to frighten you, on some nights he'll sleep on your balcony or your fire escape just to be near you.

I’m basically reiterating what you’ve already said because it’s so fucking good anon. You took my singular braincell. How dare. 🦦

.Jason cannot focus on both keeping you safe and on clearing Gotham. It’s just not realistic. So if one thing had to give then Jason would selflessly chose to save you from a life of constantly look in over your shoulder. You deserve a better life and unfortunately Jason knows that you’ll never get that dream life staying in Gotham.

.Redhood had a plethora of enemies and Jason didn’t want you to become a victim of his acts of vigilantism. It wasn’t fair on you but Gotham never was or is a fair city for anyone involved. You could be alive and content one moment but dead in a dingy alleyway with corrupt people trying to gloss over your murder the next.

.So like you said anon. He goes to every contact he had that could help him in getting you moved out of Gotham, whether that be friends, family, whoever could aid Jason speed up the process in getting you settled in elsewhere was more then welcomed by him.

.Breaking up with you would be the worst thing Jason ever had to do, which is saying something, but again as much as Jason wanted to be a selfish man, he couldn’t bring himself to keep you in a city that will ultimately be the death of you both in a literal and metaphorical sense. He thought he had finally got the chance to be happy and get to live out his life with you, but when the villain of the week vaguely mentioned you in some capacity, Jason’s blood ran cold as everything in his body went mental; screaming at him to end this fucker right here and now for daring to mention you and demand how they knew.

.However he knew that’s what they wanted confirmation but still a part of his brain made him believe that they already knew of your relationship with redhood and that scared Jason unlike anything else. You were his Achilles heel and he hadn’t even realised that until the moment you were being threatened. And at that point Jason was at a loss of what to do to prioritise your safety because he would do absolutely anything to protect you and keep you safe but sometimes the best thing for him to do was to let you go and hope that you live a better life elsewhere. Far, far, far away from Gotham.

. Maybe sometime in the future when things have calmed down, he’ll visit but that’s never a guarantee. He thinks himself a death omen and he’d rather you live in safety and security. So he stays in Gotham as though he was chained to the damned city. Forbidden from ever leaving. Yet he’ll never forget you and everything you’ve done for him, I’d like to think he’d keep one thing that reminds him of you as a reminder of all the good times you’ve shared. Jason knew his heart would always belong to you and the item he kept was only a reminder of that.

.If you don’t move out of Gotham however, you start to realise that you are the most Luckiest/safest person if there ever was one. Goons, villains, thugs, all of them avoid you as though you were the plague, like you possessed something so potent that had them retreating back into the shadows, hissing as though you’ve burned them without touching them.

Which you did and he happened to be the infamous Redhood. Nobody fucks with you when Redhood is your silent but slightly terrifying guardian looming over you from the rooftops, daring anyone to try anything within his presence and to see where it gets them.

. A thug could’ve been gunning to steal your bag after managing to corner you in some dingy alleyway, holding you a knifepoint, and all of a sudden all the colour in their face vanish as their eyes flickered upwards and boom. Redhood. The thug is shitting it, their eyes are bulging out of their head as they throw the bag back at your feet and mutter ‘I ain’t planning on dying over some stupid bag, fuck that.’ Before running away with their tail between their legs like a little bitch.

. You, confused, would look up in the same place that the thug did. Only to find absolutely nothing before shrugging your shoulders. ‘Must be the drugs he was taking.’ You’d conclude before continuing on your way home to your beautiful boy, Jason.

. I’d like the idea that you caught Redhood sleeping out on your balcony/fire escape one night and now not only are you taking care of your beloved boyfriend but also a 6’2 vigilante who’s built like a brick house with guns strapped to any part of him that you could see. It’s cute and adorable because you’d probably also come to the conclusion that he was the reason why you were being left alone, and to show your gratitude to him you start leaving food, drink and something comfortable to sleep in out for him whenever you could alongside a note that said; ‘thank you for looking out for me but please for the love of god take care of yourself.’

. Jason loves it and finds it’s unbearably cute as he perched himself on your balcony/fire escape, eating your food and making himself comfortable for the night while you slept. He wished he could at least kiss your forehead and wish you a goodnight sleep but he knew he couldn’t and he hated it but as long as you were safe, that’s all Jason could ever ask for. He’ll shower you in affection soon but tonight he was on watch duty.

#jason todd imagine #jason todd fluff #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagines #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fic #dc x y/n #dc x you #dc comics x reader #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc fic #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction

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cvntyworld · 6 days

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Heyy, idk how this works but would you be willing to write for the ghoul but write it as platonic, maybe the reader is some kid and steals from him or something like that, kind of like a funny dynamic where he wants to kill reader for real but can't till he figures out where his shit is first.

klepto ( the ghoul / cooper howard )

summary: you had a rule to being a thief, do not ever get caught and you were doing well until you decided to be a little more bold and steal from a ghoul, snatching away a ring he was carrying in his pocket and lets just say that he wanted it back, too bad you'd already sold it.

part two , no refunds

contents: usual fallout shenanigans, platonic relationship, violence, reader gets the shit scared out of them, cooper breaking into their house, stealing, mild language, reader is held at gun point, cooper threatens to chop the readers hands off for stealing, threat, reader knocks coopers hat off and insults him, ect...

Stealing was easy if you knew how to do it right. You had come from a family of thieves, your daddy was one but a terrible one at that, got his hands chopped off when he'd stolen an extra bag of rations, the greedy bastard. That's what got him killed, bleeding out and crying and he even tried blaming you for it but everyone knew who he was, a crook through and through and his karma caught up with him rather quickly.

That's when you decided to be better than him, better at stealing, better at lying, better at all the things he told you that you'd never be able to do. You had never ever gotten caught and you intended to keep it that way. You kept to a routine, only steal when it's busy, more people meant it would be harder to find the culprits, steal small things on somebody's person, useless but worth a few caps, that's the difference between you and your daddy, he was just a greedy and selfish bastard and it was his own fault that it ended badly for him. You were careful, unsuspecting, too young to be taken seriously, nobody batted and eyelid at you, kids didn't matter all that much, you didn't matter at all, this was survival to you.

You should've known better than to steal from a ghoul of all people, but he was bent over having a coughing fit in the middle of the market so you took your chance, you'd brushed past him in seconds and swiped a ring from his coat pocket, some plane gold band that looked boring in your opinion but it was worth a lot of caps, the old pawn shop was actually surprised at your find and you were in this somewhat good mood the rest of the day, a bit of a spring in your step and a little grin whenever you looked at the little pouch of caps you had earned.

Of course, being happy never lasted long in your world, it was rare and it was ruined the moment you opened your front door to the little house you'd been living in for a few weeks since you'd taken a liking to it. Nobody bothered in this part of town, you were left alone mostly, and you had loved that about this place, although, being left alone had some negatives to it, like being left to deal with the ghoul who ambushed you as soon as you stepped foot through the front door. He had been standing behind it and you'd barely gotten through when he slammed the door as this means to shut it but also harm you, the force ended with you crying out and being knocked on your ass, winded, a feeling of utter shock as you tried to breathe.

"Thieving little shit!" The angry southern drawl had barely registered to your ears, heavy footfalls approaching your figure and hauling you up from the floor, at the sight of a rather angry looking ghoul, your own eyes widened and a feeling of fight or flight kicked in. Your boot covered feet began to kick at his knees as he yanked you towards your small makeshift kitchen but he didn't budge, only a scoff of a laugh escaping him at your attempts to free yourself from his grip. His singed hands had a hold of your coat, a strangling grip on the collar as he flung you back to your kitchen floor and pointed his gun at you. Panic creeps up on you as he lowers himself to be at your level and with a frightened cry you kick his radiated face and knock away the hat on his head, "Get away from me!" You cry and he stands to his feet once more, barely acknowledging how you cowered at the sight of his movements. He picks his hat up with a sigh and places it back on his head, looking back towards you with a blank stare.

"You know..." He trailed off, pulling a blade from the bag he was carrying and inspecting it, blowing air out of his throat and beginning to clean it with the edge of his long coat, looking satisfied at the new shine. "Back in my time, way before you were even a bean sprout in your Mama's belly, thieves would be punished a little differently unlike what they do to em' now." He pointed the blade towards you, finding humour in the way you flinched, "Yeah, back in my time they'd have your hands for this, just chop em' right off of ya." You watched as he peered upwards, as if in thought and then he turned back to you, "Now, usually I'm a shoot first ask questions later type of man but if I'd blown your brains out as soon as you walked in then that would just be a waste of a bullet on my behalf."

You eye him warily, wondering if you should run or not, a feeling of dread washing over you as he decided to sit on one of your chairs and gesture for you to sit on the other one with a calm demeanor. You stayed sitting on the floor with doubt, "How do I know you won't shoot me?" Ghoul, as you'd been referring to him, sighs, "Didn't you listen to a word I said, sweetie?" His expression draws to one that holds mocking disappointment, "Kids, these days, you'd think a few nukes dropping would wisen them up." You're quick to glare at him, "They dropped like a hundred years ago, can't all be as wise as some old, no nosed asshole!" You hear him chuckle lowly as you sit in the seat and it's that split second you're caught off guard, his hand grips a fistful of your hair and forces your head to smack against the table harshly, you hear your nose crack and blood has quickly begun rushing from your nostrils. "That's no way to treat a guest, now, is it?" He mocked, "And, it was 219 years ago those nukes dropped, not a hundred."

Something sharp dug into your wrist and through tearful eyes you glance up to see the blade pressing down with a force that drew blood. "Now, let's get back on track, shall we, reckon you wanna know what a fella like me is doing in your house." You remain quiet and he continues, "Now, earlier today I had a pretty little ring in my pocket, and, it has come to my attention that I no longer do, would you like to explain that?" You remain quiet for a moment and it causes him to press the blade further into your wrist, a cry leaves you and you shake your head as best as you're able to, "I don't know what you're talking about, Mister, I ain't seen no ring!" He sighs and you know he's aware of your lie, "If you ain't aware of it then how come a lovely little birdie told me all about your klepto tendencies?" A small cry leaves you and he stares mockingly, "Hope you didn't forget that little story I told you, you won't be able to steal shit without your hands." You stay quiet and if he had eyebrows they would've raised, "You ain't gonna say nothing, alright, guess you'll have to get used to having two stumps instead of ten fingers."

At the pressure of the blade deepening, you confess, "It's gone, alright! I sold it, I don't have it anymore!" The Ghoul is quick to retract his blade, shoving your hand away like he was disgusted at the sight of it.

"And who, pray tell, did you sell it to?" He questions, like it bored him now that his reign of terror had to stop for that singular moment. "The pawn shop, down by rustic road, I swear!" You cry out and he rolls his eyes when he sees the flood of tears, "Dry your eyes then get up, we're gonna be paying a visit to the rustic road pawn shop." His hand was ripping you from the seat, his grip tight on your arm but a little less painful than before, "How bout' you be my guide and introduce me to your little friends, see if they'll show an ol' ghoul some kindness and give him his ring back?" A smug grin stretched across his fleshy face and he turned towards you when you mumbled something, "Speak up, I didn't catch that." You sigh at him, "They don't do refunds down there." He paused and then shrugged at you, "Well, maybe they'll change that rule when I pay em' a visit, and if that don't work out, there's always option two."

Curiously you glance up at him, "What's option two?" You ask unsurely as he walks slowly down the road with you, a scoff of laughter leaving him at your question.

"Option two would be shooting them in the fucking head, sweetheart, and then taking back what's mine." He lets a rattly cough of laughter follow his words, "You may be an excellent little pick pocket but you ain't that brightest, are you?" When your features turned furious, he looked as if it humoured him.

"It's alright, you'll learn, I'll make sure of that."

#fallout tv series #fallout tv show #fallout #the ghoul #cooper howard #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #platonic relationship #i did my best with this because i didn't wanna make him too nice if yk what i mean #it's a little crazy but so is he #cooper howard x platonic reader #the ghoul x platonic reader

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hurtspideyparker · 1 month

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Tony Stark and PTSD

Tony didn't develop PTSD when he came back from Afghanistan because he knew he'd get out. He was able to save himself, use his intellect and resources to build the iron suit and escape. Yes he was tortured, and feared for his life, but he had an escape plan; Tony left the cave hopeful for the future, with extraordinary ideas and a revelation. For him, that was enough.

In the battle of New York Tony didn't have an escape plan. Even with his fancy Iron Man suit he was left alone in space to die- no amount of the money, brains or power he possesses would be enough to get him out of there.

It terrified him. To think that with everything he is, he wouldn't be enough to save his own life.

So while his thoughts in Afghanistan were that he would out-smart all these men because he's Tony freaking Stark, his thoughts in New York were that in the end he was helpless. That loss of control, the spark of real and imminent death, is what follows Tony home and gives him PTSD.

The idea that at any moment he could face something beyond the planet and anything he's ever known, that being the smartest and richest man on Earth just wouldn't be enough. Tony is mortal- even he can't cure that.

This is why we see him depend so heavily on the suits as a coping mechanism. He is all too aware of his own flesh and becomes obsessed with his armor; making it stronger, more plentiful, a cocoon. It is a part of him, and he's trying desperately to catch up to all things extraterrestrial he just learned about.

He puts sensors under his skin so the armor can always find him. When he's scared, even in his sleep, his instinct is to call the suit.

Which is why being forced away from it is so important for his recovery. He has to relearn that Iron Man isn't the suit, it's him. He'd be dead if he didn't program Jarvis smart enough to save his life without being told, like in IM3 when he's drowning and Jarvis pulls him out of the rubble by controlling the hand of the suit. Or when he fights the superpowered soldiers with just his wits and some kitchen appliances. Then finally marching into a heavily guarded facility with his Home Depot weapons.

It's not that he's beaten mortality, it's that he's broken from the need to constantly protect himself from it.

#tony stark #iron man #marvel mcu #mcu #iron man 3

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moonshynecybin · 3 months

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The current motogp grid is put into the hunger games who is winning?

so easily marc it is NOT even funny.... as babynflames has said if he got trapped in a situation where he needed to lop off a limb and it wouldnt effect his riding he'd get that done instantly np. he is insane he loves winning he EASILY compartmentalizes his other competitors as obstacles that he will shove aside in REAL LIFE let alone fictional hunger games world. hes taking it i fear. but he WILL come out the other side deeply scared both mentally and physically... maybe he DOES have to lop off his arm and they give him a prosthetic but sometimes it aches at night and he shivers...

anyways yaoi alert below the cut for those interested:

its the all-victor QUARTER QUELL where shit gets saucy in my opinion! vale as a fellow mentor... a well-liked victor that marc idolized as a kid who's been paraded around like a pony ever since... known for how fun (read: not fun comma scarring) his games were (vale was like 17 fuck ass bob big neon yellow tribute uniform internally screaming desperately playing to the cameras to survive. maybe won by doing equal parts looney tunes style pranks and his absolute ruthless efficiency with a blade.)

so him and marc see each other once a year for a few weeks around the games (similar to motogp they DO have to continually revisit the places they were most traumatized every year huh) and start a lil smth... gravitate towards each other when theyre both trapped in the capitol... wake up in each others beds most mornings and share looks across tables when the capitol socialites start soliloquizing... but they know cant do any more than that bc theyre in different districts (also: trauma.) so they keep it as casual as they can, even if marc's breath catches in his chest sometimes when vale looks at him, and when vale wakes up at home its with an arm reaching over the place in his bed he knows marc should be... and the capitol maybe doesnt know theyre fucking but IS certainly selling the friendship between two of its most popular victors to the cameras HARD... it is known that they tend to chat. it has been noted that they giggle. the panopticon has noticed the marc-being-a-weirdo-in-press-conferences stare.

anyways so the quell hits and marc gets reaped along with vale (who has been quietly supporting rebellious activity for years... gathering strength and numbers.... talking to the other aliens... using his icon status to sway the districts... ) and vale KNOWS the capitol will use marc against him. knows that they know he cares about him. knows that theyre doing this to get rid of them both—keep him in line. (actually in this scenario maybe marc pulled a katniss berry move to keep both him and alex alive. accidental revolutionary icon lol) and keeping marc close will only make the capitol try even harder to kill him which he cant STAND. and all marc knows is that suddenly vale pulls away hard, cold and abrupt. starts talking madddd shit about him in all of his interviews and press... and marc thinks vale is doing it to hype himself up to kill him in the arena and it KILLS him... he thought he was in tragic star crossed love... but he also keeps trying to convince himself he can bring himself to do the same when the time comes, even if it feels like a hole in his chest.... he has to get back to alex. so its awfullllllll until they get in the arena and (INSERT CATCHING FIRE PLOT WHERE THEY BUST TF OUTTA THERE...) and when marc wakes up, blinking and pale and groggy and without his prosthetic, vale is holding his hand by his bedside. and in a low, hoarse voice he starts to explain....

#only scenario marc doesnt win is if the final two is him and alex. it is katniss berry move or instant suicide.#im sure someone has already come up w an au like this like im positiveeeee but i cant find it :/ please link in replies if so #vale in this scenario also knows that a beef between victors of this caliber means that they will both get MAD sponsor money and he worries #he wants marc to have food medicine and his favorite sword in that arena and if throwing marc under the bus will accomplish that he will!#callie speaks #motogp #asks #rosquez

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m3r1m4r5u333 · 9 days

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Okay I've settled on my head canon which is that Eddie is bi (or some version of "likes women and men"), too... I need to ramble about it because this popular idea that Eddie is gay just bothers me tbh it just feels ignorant, bi erasurery. And sure, maybe I'll be proven wrong, but in the mean time...

I think the reason why Eddie just can't be happy with the women he's pushing himself to date is because he's only really ever been drawn, and loved, two people: Shannon and Buck.

And these women he's since dated... are neither of those people. So the other relationships are just... fake, unhappy. Not because of sexual incompatibility, but because they're loveless, on Eddie's part.

The romance with Shannon started as a teen-age romance. They were childhood friends and lovers, but they were too young and immature to really handle the stress of parenthood, and despite that, pushed into a marriage.

It was too much for this young, immature, love to survive. Them freaking out and not being a team.... That just started to hack away at their mutual trust, and that eventually killed the romance, and the marriage. This immature love just could not handle all this pressure, and co-exist with that dying trust.

And then, Eddie meets Buck when his and Shannon's marriage is on a break. She's runs, is away for a long time, Eddie is raising Chris alone... And Buck steps in.

And Buck is insanely helpful, a major stress relief -letting Bobby know that Eddie is struggling to find a caretaker for Chris. Researching for ways to help Eddie... He finds Carla to help them. Buck takes one look at Christopher and melts, wants to spend time with them... Eddie thinks "Woah. This guy is amazing. This is someone I can count on, who has my back."

So Eddie just moved on from Shannon. He did love her once... but then they killed their love and marriage, together. Mutual destruction.

Eddie didn't trust her anymore, she didn't trust him after he'd enlisted in a panic to run from the parenthood, from Christopher's diagnosis... they were fighting all the time... and then she just left him alone with Chris.

And I refuse to demonize her for leaving btw, she was young, under a lot of stress, and Eddie was running from his parenthood. Eddie needed that push, to take responsibility, and connect with Chris!!

But still.. She left, Eddie was hurt and alone, and really doesn't trust her anymore, and then he meets Buck.

So Eddie moves on. His and Shannon's romantic love just... dies. And when she finally tries to re-connect. Yes, he still finds her desirable, and the human bond is still an important one. But where's the love?

They've known each other since they were children, they're friends, Shannon is Christopher's mother. But Eddie no longer really loves her like he once did. He tries. He forgives her, for everything, and really tries to mend their marriage, even proposes again after finding out she may be pregnant...

But it's just too late for both of them, they don't really work as a couple, and she realises she is tired of this battle, she is done.

Shannon leaving.... this made Eddie move on from her, even though he tried to deny it, even to himself. By leaving, Shannon gave the final killing blow to their already fractured mutual trust. Then she was gone for a long time, and when she finally came back, Eddie had already moved on, connected with someone else. She even says this - I was away for too long.

She realises that their marriage dead. She is shocked when Eddie keeps pushing her away from Chris, realises their mutual lack of trust. And she finally admits to herself that she doesn't really want to get back together with Eddie.

Eddie is dragging his feet, not really accepting her back, keeps looking for a "sign" that would say they should have another serious go as partners. Only proposes after there's another pregnancy scare.

Shannon thinks, this marriage is too broken, I want out. We both deserve something better than this. So it is a story of falling in love, and falling out of love.

And then she dies, and Eddie grieves, deeply. He did love Shannon, even though their marriage was a failure. He'd loved her in so many ways. She was his friend, she was his wife, she was Christopher's mother.

However, I do feel like the reason why he struggles to date after Shannon's death is a combination of grief - being afraid to try again with anyone... and it's denial of his feelings for Buck, and also fear that what if... This happens again, what if he loves and they leave. I think the key problem here really is Buck.

Eddie has already fallen for someone, and tries to deny it, ignore it. He thinks this is a road that would take him nowhere, so why try. He thinks Buck is straight!

So he starts pushing Buck away because this odd family unit they have...? Where is it going really, he thinks, Buck doesn't want him.

This line, said to Buck:

"Somehow we became a ready-made family and I... I don't know if I'm ready for that."

It's grief for Shannon, and it's unrequited love for Buck, and it's about being unable to love Ana because of those both massive things stopping Eddie from being able to connect with her.

Remember.... that Buck starts the thing with Taylor before Eddie starts dating Ana?

Eddie, looking like a zombie, hosting Buck and Taylor, telling Buck that he needs to move on, Eddie has. (Yeah it's a lie.)

And remember all these talks about Eddie needing to move on, before he goes on dates?

This is Eddie, trying to move on, and find his third family unit.

The scene with Eddie and Buck when they've just met, Buck bragging that "some of us don't need good lighting to look good..."

And then Eddie at the fire station, looking at Buck, forgetting to introduce Ana to everyone, realising his mistake and saying to Ana;

"Oh, you've never been here!"...

Because she wasn't, Buck's presence just erases her from Eddie's mind, it's like she isn't even in the same room.

It's true, Eddie realises. Buck really doesn't need good lighting to look good, not to Eddie.

"Even in the dark, this place is amazing."

It's terrible, but disturbingly true for Eddie. This feeling, of existing in the darkness, alone, and watching someone who just doesn't need good lighting to look amazing. They just glow anyway, overwhelmingly, they just erase everyone else from your mind.

I feel like this symbolizes deep, unrequited love really well. Even in the dark this place is amazing.

So Eddie keeps struggling. He won't let Buck close because that's killing him, but he also can't let go of him. He's just ...always dying.

And then Buck comes out to him? It's a shock. It's a brief moment of dumb, wide-eyed hope.

But then Eddie immediately realizes... This changes nothing. Buck is dating someone else. Buck is falling for someone else. Buck is still... Just a friend.

Nothing has changed for Buck, and therefore not for Eddie either. Eddie is still alone in this. And keeps dying.

So... The point I'm trying to make here.

I feel like this struggle we're seeing, it's not about Eddie being gay. He fell for Shannon, they agreed the sex was never the problem.

Even this new relationship with Marisol. He does feel sexual desire for her... Their sex life is great... Until he learns that she was almost a nun? Imagine being in the closet, bi, and realising your girlfriend was almost a nun?

It's truly "eyes on the ground". Would she still want her, if she really knew who, or what, Eddie is? Would she be disgusted if she learned about all of Eddie's fantasies?

How can Eddie trust her?

So... That's what making him run from Marisol. I do think he's making a genuine effort to move on from his old flames - Shannon and Buck.

I mean... Remember Eddie's talk with his tia? Learning that she had been married before, and refusing to even try dating someone else, until her friends dragged her out?

And ultimately this made her move on, meeting someone else. And soon she didn't regret trying again.

So Eddie is trying to move on from Shannon, and Buck.

But can he? Is he?

One thing about Buck's coming out, and the following scene, the talk with Eddie...

Noticed the buddie subtext, and the bisexual subtext of the lines when he talks about Marisol there? About needing to go home.

The "menu" is not the issue. The issue is that he doesn't want to go home, to Marisol. (Lol, there's btw that bicycle again, hanging on the wall behind Eddie's back. Bi subtext!!)

Eddie does desire her. ... He just doesn't love her. And that keeps happening... Because his heart is already taken.

#eddie diaz #Marisol Doe #911 buddie #evan buckley #buddie #buddie 911 #911 on abc #evan buck buckley #911 abc #tv: 911 #eddie díaz #bisexual erasure #911 speculation #bi eddie #eddie's pining era #shannon diaz #ana flores #i make no gifs brain is potato

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senanatheskenana · 8 months

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Sinclair Boys When Their S/O Leaves Them

Bo Sinclair

Bo saw it coming. He knew it was going to happen at some point- he couldn't hide what he did for long. He made a point to reserve a part of him for that heartbreak, but without realising it, it became smaller and smaller.

He was happier than ever when he was with you.

The outbursts were at an all-time low and Vincent wished he could thank you for that.

But that didn't mean they didn't happen.

Bo still had moments where the anger and the frustration boiled over and usually it was aimed at you as well as his brothers.

He knew it scared you and every time his head cleared enough to think about it, he'd get disappointed in himself again.

But this time when he cooled off, you weren't there. He searched everywhere- tore the house and town apart- but the only thing he found was a hastily written note from Vincent, explaining that you had fled.

Vincent knew his brother would explode once he realised what had happened, and he wasn't sure he wanted to be around when Bo did. He hides away but he can hear his twin sobbing and screaming and punching at the walls.

~~~~~

All Bo can think about is how his mother was right.

"Yer an idiot if you think anyone'll love you as you are. No one'll wanna be around an unstable monster like you"

"Yes, Momma"

He'd wanted to do everything to prove to her that she was wrong but the older Bo got, the more he seemed to give in to the idea that she was right all along. Maybe he wasn't worth all the pain he was putting you through. Maybe he was a trainwreck just waiting on the tracks.

The only thing he was certain of now was that without you, he was nothing.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent knew that he had let himself indulge in his delusion too long. you weren't forever and you certainly weren't his. But he had hoped that you'd, one day, care for him and forget the fear- forget about the thing he did to make you stay to begin with.

But of course, you never did. The marks made it hard to forget about the long days spent tied down in the basement. The smells were a constant reminder that you could be the next person in the machine, as soon as Vincent's obsession with you dies out.

Part of him knew that you were only being receptive to him out of fear but the feeling of just having someone tolerate him was enough for him. He'd never hurt you even if you chose to remain resistant, and he wondered if he had made it known to you, that you may have stayed.

Maybe he should have listened when Bo practically screamed out to him.

~~~~~

"You freak- (Y/N) DON'T LOVE YOU! "

Bo was right, he knew. But still, it hurt to hear.

"You think they coulda looked you in the eye and told you they cared about you- coulda kissed you on all the parts that scared them? Wake up, Vince. You've been a fool if you think someone like that could look past the murder- Could look past you"

And just like that, Vincent was left alone in the basement, flipping through sketchbooks, tracing the lines that curved to create your face. He felt sick when he did. He was homesick for a place he had never truly been.

He didn't scream about you, or get angry because, in truth, he was the one who left the door open for you. He just hoped that by some grace of God, you would stay with him.

Lester Sinclair

Lester takes his truck out and searches into the night for you.

Surely you couldn't have gotten far on foot but there were coyotes and dangers in the wilderness.

Ironic, he thought, given that the reason you had run off was because of him.

He'd done so well at hiding what he and his brothers were doing in Ambrose but it could only stay quiet for so long. He knew you were going to see something.

What he didn't expect was for you to ask if he was cheating on you.

Of course, he wasn't, but you were sure you'd seen women in his truck on multiple occasions- nearly every week. He was always so secretive about it, and you became worried that he was sneaking around with people.

Lester would rather you know he was a murderer than think he doesn't love you.

He finds you walking along the roadside, shaking and sobbing.

~~~~~

"Hun, please get in the truck. I don't care- if you wanna leave, I'll take ya where you wanna go. Just don't go runnin' off like that again, you coulda gotten hurt."

"How do I know you ain't gonna kill me too. Is that what you were plannin' all along? To let my guard down and lead me into a trap?"

Lester flinches at your voice. He hates that you would even think that he could hurt you. He slowly drives beside you and pops open the passenger side door.

"Please get in. I won't take ya home- I'll take ya anywhere you want, just please dont do nothin' stupid"

So you hop in but stay against the door, as far from Lester as possible. He can't believe that he's driving you away from him. He can't believe he was stupid enough to continue killing even after having met you.

It's a long drive made even longer by the silence, but you eventually arrive at a relative's home. He attempts to touch your hand but you pull it away.

"Lester please don't touch me right now, I might be sick." He shrinks back and places both back on the steering wheel, clenching them until his knuckles turn white.

"I ain't gonna hurt you, hun."

"Go back to Ambrose, Lester. I won't say a word to anyone about this. As far as I know, I'm pretending this is all a dream. We never met, are we clear. I don't know you anymore."

Part two here

#house of wax 2005 #house of wax x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #slashers #slasher x reader

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alatusprinz · 2 years

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in my heart - in my head - tell me why this has to end ?

albedo , xiao x reader

summary : his insecurities in a relationship with you

warning : none [ angst themes - comfort ]

albedo ( kreideprinz )

no relationship is perfect, you knew that

but...

you couldn't help the pressure in your chest, like you couldn't breathe sometimes each time you spent overthinking on nights like this

you often felt distant from your boyfriend

at times you'd feel like you couldn't reach albedo at all

like he was far away from you, too far from your reach

sure he'd hold your hand and share kisses here and there

but despite the few acts of physical intimacy, you really didn't feel anything different from when you two were just friends

in the early stages of relationship, albedo would struggle showing vulnerability and showing his love to you -especially verbally

albedo is painfully aware of his artificial existence - too much in fact

because of that, each act declaring his love for you is restricted with his consciousness

he did promise that he'd love you, care for you

and to do... this together with you. he'd be your companion in this wondrous thing called 'life'

and he was aware he wasn't alone like he was before

this awareness, unfortunately becomes heavier as time went on

every time he holds your hand, he is reminded that he is different from you

although it's damn near impossible to guess what this man's thinking of, you get a rare glimpse of his vulnerability when his grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly

every time you smiled at him, placed fleeting kisses on his cheek, or whispered words of 'love' in his ear so, so sweetly

he couldn't help but wonder if what he was feeling was enough for you

was he... humane enough? was he, an artificial being, really enough for you ?

shouldn't he be loving you more? shouldn't he... do more? as a proof, as appreciation for your time, effort and everything else?

albedo felt like he was drowning in your love at times, in a good way

your love felt warm, embracing and understanding of his every being

it left him feeling unsure if he is making you feel as loved as you should be

in his eyes, you deserve the best that could ever exist in this world, and frankly he was unsure if he was fit to provide that for you

you'd need to drag him out of the vast ocean that is his mind often

the brilliant alchemist might not trust verbal affirmations much, but when you hug him like that, when you hold him in your arms like this

for once, he felt like he was wrong for his negative hypothesis - like his worries were for vain.

xiao ( alatus )

xiao's own mind and cautiousness hurts both of you much more than he could ever imagine

he has never felt equal to you, ever

in his eyes, you're up in the skies, more divine than all of the archons that govern over teyvat, you shone brighter than any entity he has ever seen in his painfully long lifetime

and he... is a general, he was meant for killing, bloodshed and battlefield. it's all he's ever known and possibly all he will ever know

although he's trying to be true to himself, true to his own feelings and emotions, xiao has never had the liberty to be those things

never in his millenniums worth of existence did he ever expect to find someone like you

you're so patient, tender and gentle to him

no matter the sharp-edged words and indifferent attitude he throws at you unwillingly, xiao's dedication to you is fierce

he promised you his protection, faith and diligence - he will honor his words no matter what

but when you're there by his side, holding his hand with both of yours, letting him lean onto your shoulder as he feels the weight of the world crashing down on him for what seems like the millionth time- he is so, so scared

sure, he's received a locket from Morax to guard you from the dangers of being close to an adeptus and he knew you wore it at all times

he's a monster inside, he is unworthy of your tender, pure love - xiao repeats the words over and over in his mind unconsciously

he can't help but doubt his worth when he sees your beautiful smile, and gosh he loved you so much it hurts

it hurts so much that you're mortal, you're so fragile and... have a short life

he dreads, fears every single moment for the inevitable, the moment for your mortal life to end, bringing his soul altogether with yours back to the perpetual blue sky where you were born from, as he imagined

you were aware of how he felt, how could you not be? when he clung onto you like you were about to leave any moment, your eyes watered ever so lightly

you embraced him as gently as possible, whispering into his ear quietly but firmly

"i'm by your side. i'm right here, alatus... i'm right here next to you."

as his negative thoughts eventually faded and he is faced with your sublime beauty, all he could do was melt into your embrace and wish this moment was to continue for all eternity

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rillils · 2 months

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post fall bucky having a fear of heights?? ive always thought that he'd be afraid of heights, like he wasnt afraid of it at all before his fall, go ask steve. but after falling?? he tries to hide it from steve, how scared he is.. and steve, bless his poor soul, he blames himself for not realizing sooner, he thinks he shouldve known, he couldnt possibly have. hes always seen bucky as this brave courage man, and bucky didnt want to ruin steve's image of him worse than he already think he did. and oh my fucking god

THE POST PLANE CRASH STEVE BEING AFRAID OF TIGHT SPACES?? BECAUSE IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO FEELING THE COLD SEEP IN THROUGH HIS VERY BONES WHILE HE GETS CRUSHED BY ALL THE WATER, ICE, AND DEBRIS?? DONT GET ME STARTED OH MY GOD

HONEY I FEEL LIKE YOUR LEVEL OF CRUELTY TOWARDS ME SPECIFICALLY IS REACHING DANGEROUS LEVELS HERE

but I get it, I getchu hon, sometimes we just gotta put the blorbos in a Situation™, that's how we roll.

but holy shit 😭😭😭

I mean god, Bucky-

imagine how tough it must be for him, every time they're on a mission, 'cause he's first and foremost a sniper, isn't he? and for him, that often involves perching on the roof of really high buildings, and keeping as still as possible for as long as necessary - and above all, keeping a steady hand, because what is a sniper supposed to be if not precise and lethal and reliable?

and factor in all the other possible contingencies, too! like having to bolt if he's spotted by the enemy, and having to climb back down in a rush. or helping chase after the bad guys from rooftop to rooftop. or when, god forbid, they have to jump out of a plane and parachute themselves to a certain site.

it's an absolute nightmare for Bucky, but he just keeps trying to tough it out, right? grit his teeth, push through even when his flesh palm is clammy with sweat, even when his stomach is churning and his legs feel like jelly, even when his hands start shaking despite his best efforts to hold them still. it's scary and mortifying all at once, and he can't bring himself to say anything about it to anyone, especially to Steve. because he knows Steve would try to suggest he take it easy and stay behind, while Steve himself is out there risking his neck, and the very notion makes Bucky feel sick.

so he's just desperately hanging in there, right?

until something happens. he's dizzy, his hands are shaking too bad, he flubs a shot, Steve almost gets killed because of it. Bucky snaps. this is the last straw. he's done.

I mean, imagine how it must tear. him. apart. how horribly it must hurt him to admit to himself that he can't go on like this anymore. because on the one hand, fuck it all to hell, he's supposed to be by Steve's side! watch his six, protect him, make sure he makes it home in one piece! it's what Bucky's been doing ever since they were kids, it's a fundamental part of who he is! to even imagine letting Steve walk into a fight alone - no, not 'alone', without Bucky - is unthinkable. it's like denying himself a basic need. like denying who Bucky is, what he feels he was born to do, a biological imperative.

but. on the other hand, the thought of putting Steve in danger, of Steve getting hurt (or worse) because Bucky couldn't do his job properly, is even more unbearable.

Steve counts on him, trusts him with his life - as he should be able to do, if they're going to be a team - but how can Bucky allow that anymore, now that he can't even trust himself? how can he be what Steve needs, if he's going to let him down when Steve needs him the most? how would he ever forgive himself if something happened to Steve because of him?

he barely holds himself together until they get home, and then he just, he breaks down. stumbles over to the couch, crumples in on himself, trembling, pale like a ghost, taking in big gulps of air like he'll drown otherwise. telling a worried Steve, who's crouching next to him in a heartbeat, "I can't do this anymore".

now Steve, he had noticed that something was off for a while now, and Bucky's words just confirm what he already suspected. he thinks, of course Bucky's sick of this, of course he doesn't want to fight anymore - god knows he's got plenty of reasons to want to leave all this shit behind.

Steve could never imagine what the actual issue is, here - not until he's trying to tell Bucky that it's his right to retire if that's what he wants, that of course Steve supports him, and Bucky interrupts him to confess, in between sobs, where exactly the problem lies, and how he fears he's no longer fit to accompany Steve on missions, 'cause he'd risk becoming a liability rather than backup.

CUE A WHOLE SHITTON OF FEELS because fuck, how long has Bucky been feeling this way, and how did Steve not realize it sooner, and the way Steve's face twists with guilt when he wonders where this fear of heights might come from, and gives himself the most obvious amd most fucking heartbreaking answer, and Bucky can tell that he's hurting and blaming himself and they're just BOTH hurting and blaming themselves and hfgskfjskks HONEY WE'RE SPEEDRUNNING THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE HELP

no, but. they're gonna have an honest conversation about this, okay? painful, yes, but also liberating. they're going to air out some of that hurt, and actually let it heal out in the open for once.

I figure there's gonna be lots of bargaining first, on both parts, like Bucky arguing that he could still fight, just maybe stick to the ground instead, and Steve telling him that he doesn't have to, and really he'd be happier knowing that Bucky's safe at home and not forcing himself into dangerous situations, and Bucky grumbling 'cause oh how the tables have turned, and just, you know, trying to find a way to compromise.

I think, maybe this is how Steve first starts to really, genuinely consider retiring, himself. like, not just picturing it in a distant, wistful way, oh wouldn't it be nice if we could do that, etc - but really, really entertaining the idea. letting himself plan it out. talking about it with Bucky, even with Sam and Nat, giving himself the chance to consider another kind of life. after all, there are plenty of battles to fight in the world, and not all of them require fists and guns, right? and if he can fight those battles too alongside Bucky, then so much the better 💖

CLAUSTROPHOBIC STEVE THOUGH OMG

somehow the first thing that comes to mind is that one scene from CATWS, when he and Nat find Zola's computerized ass and he blows up the building, and they're stuck in a tiny hole under all the rubble until Steve gets them both out. I CAN PICTURE ONLY TOO VIVIDLY HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM, OH MY GOD

as somebody who shares that kind of phobia, may I submit to you one of the most obvious, most mundane monsters he might face: ELEVATORS. especially of the narrow, non-see through kind, where you're literally locked inside a metal box until it releases you from that torment. IF IT DOES. like honey the anxiety is real af okay

in the spirit of putting the blorbos in a Situation™, please picture them both in an old-fashioned elevator.

Steve hasn't mentioned his fear to Bucky, he's just been lucky so far, so he didn't have to bring it up. but the stupid thing is so slow, and the space inside is so small, and sure, Steve never minded being in Bucky's close proximity, but he can't stop thinking about getting the fuck out of there asap.

at some point the fucking thing stops, and oh good god they're stuck inside, and it's gonna take a while for help to come.

and Bucky, sweet, horny, unsuspecting Bucky, just makes a little joke about knowing just how they could pass the time until then, wink wink. he crowds Steve back against the already narrow wall, starts sucking languid kisses into Steve's neck-- and Steve's frozen, breathing in quick shallow breaths that could be mistaken for gasps of pleasure, holding onto Bucky with an iron grip because he can feel himself spiraling into panic, heart racing wildly, eyes darting from wall to wall like he can see them rapidly closing in on him, suffocating him, squeezing him in--

and it takes a moment for Bucky to realize what's really going on, but when he pulls back and sees Steve so terrified, hyperventilating and about ten seconds away from passing out, he switches into Protective Boyfriend mode like *snaps fingers*

he's like, "sweetheart, what's wrong?", and the second Steve gasps "out, I need to get outta here, now", Bucky springs into action and pries the elevator's door open with his bare hands, helping Steve climb out (the next floor was already into view) and following suit.

of course they're gonna talk about it (and realize that they should maybe stop hiding their respective fears from each other), and from then on... yep, they stick to stairs <3

#stucky just stucky #stucky #this got long i'm so sorry #also #i really wanted to scribble a little thing about this - either headcanon or possibly even both - like a decent-looking fic you know #but the braincell refused to cooperate :'(#either way HONEY I LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU MAKE ME AND THE BOYS SUFFER LIKE THIS #*SCREECHES*#i hope the read-more works ahsdjkshdkjsh

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profound-imagination · 1 year

Text

Rose Gardens - Eris Vanserra.

A/N: So this is the longest fic I've ever written and this is a 1st part I think, depending if people want more!

W/C: 4.9K

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You'd been quickly taken in by Rhys and Cassian when you stumbled upon them in a war camp after the first war, running for your life from the captivity you'd just escaped, both men were weary of you at first but willing to help you, it was their nature after all, despite the roles they played, it wasn't until they introduced you to the third member of their rag tag band that you knew they'd never send you away, never let anything hurt you.

They both went still like beautiful statues as the Shadowsinger took you in, roamed his eyes over your face as his shadows darted towards you and danced around you as if you were an old friend and then he fell to his knees in front of you, an act that shocked his brothers. He wrapped his arms around your middle and explained to his brothers that you were the only one who spoke to him during his imprisonment. As the daughter of a servant who worked in the kitchen of his father's home you'd sneak him meals and tend to any wounds his half brothers inflicted on him. You alone had sat outside the bars of his cell for hours while he howled in pain and cried about his ruined hands. It was you who taught him not to be scared of his shadows, doing as much research as a fairly illiterate child could, sneaking him the pages you thought were important from the library you weren't allowed to be in.

His mother had loved you like her own when you'd joined them on their hour-long visits, the only chance the two of you had to play as children should and you'd continued to visit her long after Azriel had been sent to Windhaven to train. Until you were thrown in his empty cell having been found with his mother by his father. His only reprieve Azriel had called you.

You'd have done anything for Azriel, he was your best friend, your only friend and you'd been punished for every time you'd helped him, everytime you snuck down to that damp cell, not that you ever told him. You knew he'd send you away, tell you not to come back. You'd been too young at the time to understand the feeling in your chest when you went to visit him and he was gone. You'd spent years thinking they'd killed him until this moment right here when he was on his knees in front of you. Tears welled in your eyes as you joined him on your knees and wrapped your arms around his neck. "I thought you were dead, I thought they'd killed you." You had sobbed into his neck, Rhys and Cassian had stepped away to allow the two of you to have your reunion alone and sitting in the mud and blood of a battlefield you did.

His mother had never told you where he'd gone, knowing you'd follow and quickly be made a play thing for the other warriors, knowing her son would die before he let that happen to you, it had happened anyway, your time in captivity was spent being passed around his half brothers.

In the years you'd known Azriel, the two of you had only ever been friends. You assumed this was due to knowing each other since you were children and you'd never seen or looked at him in that way. You knew he was stunningly beautiful and the other females loved him and the air of mystery he carried but not you. His brother however, his High Lord had piqued your interest from the moment you'd collided with him in the woods and hit the ground like you'd run into a tree. From the second your eyes had met his Violet ones you were done for.

You'd spent years being his confidant. The only one he'd share the weight he carried with. Itnever moved past the physical with you, Rhysand seeking you out when it all became too much and he needed a reprieve. But you'd take whatever you could get from Rhysand despite the sad looks the Shadowsinger gave you when he caught you tiptoeing out of the High Lords room or study in the early hours. The relentless teasing from Cassian or the smirks from Mor when she thought he wasn't looking. Rhys had never picked up on your feelings or if he had, he'd never mentioned it.

Life in the Night Court was good and you were happy, it had taken some adjusting. After being told every moment of Az's life since he'd left. It had taken you a while to not be mad at Cassian, something that he made very hard to do. Or wipe the dirty look off of your face as Mor toyed with him. "I love her." Azriel had pleaded with you to give her a chance, to support his feelings. You eventually had, especially after she'd told you about why she'd slept with Cassian. What had happened to her after, your heart broke for her and you let it be, taking note that Eris Vanserra was a male you never wanted to meet. You let her flit between your best friend and his brother and you didn't even notice it anymore. Az was a big boy now and could handle himself and you both knew you'd be there to pick up the pieces of him in the end.

Everything fell apart when Amarantha arrived and seized every bit of control she could. Rhys was gone and the world was crumbling. It had taken you five years to do anything other than sleep and read. Moving from your room to the library and back again. Sometimes you could picture Rhys, sitting next to you in the firelight of the library doing his paperwork as you read. His gentle chuckle as your face screwed up in disgust or lit up in joy depending on what was happening in your books. Every year you went to Calanmai after that, never to participate but knowing he was there. One of the few liberties he was allowed after hearing whispers of his attendance the year before, her whore they'd called him. You never saw him, whether he wasn't there or was avoiding you, you had no clue, you guessed on the latter. He'd gone to her willingly to protect Velaris, his family and you. He wouldn't risk it out of fear that the next time he walked into her throne room, you'd be there, broken and beaten and that she'd make him take the final blow to end you.

49 years, it took 49 years for him to come back to you. To come home. He'd winnowed into the house in the middle of dinner and taken his usual seat as if it was nothing, and started loading his plate with food. "What are you all staring at?" He asked when he'd finally loaded his plate. The dining room was silent and then it snapped, cutlery hit the table with a clang and chairs scraped against the floor as Azriel and Cassian ran for their brother. Mor stood hand over her mouth in shock until she pushed both warriors out of the way to embrace her cousin. Then all eyes turned to you, and with that damned smile on his mouth he asked "Didn't you miss me, sweet girl?" And with that you were moving, running at him full speed until you leapt at him, he caught you with ease and let you cry into his neck, taking his seat again and asking Azriel to pass your plate.

It was three days before he'd told you all of what had happened, of the human girl turned High Fae who had saved you all. One who he mentioned would be staying with you one week a month and you were excited to have a new friend. You'd hoped you could help her adjust, having been the last one who had joined the Night Court. Her first week here, three months later, was rough. You'd learned she was to marry Tamlin and that Rhys had winnowed her out from her wedding as she was screaming to be rescued. He'd kept Cass and Az away from her and you and Mor were the only ones permitted to see her as long as you didn't bother her.

Since his return Rhys had distanced himself from you and you'd put it down to the trauma he'd endured under the mountain and you left it alone. You couldn't help thinking sometimes that you were missing something, that something was going on that you weren't aware of, especially when the teasing and the smirks stopped, when Az's sad looks turned to looks of pity.

You'd managed to bond with Feyre today. Something you were very proud of, smiling gently to yourself as you headed to your room to grab your current book so you could keep the girl company while she practiced her writing in the library. You couldn't help but pick up on the hushed tones of Mor and Rhysand bickering. "Maybe you should just tell her?" Mor suggested, tell who what? "Oh yeah, that's a great idea, Feyre, I know you're in love with Tamlin and you're going to marry him but I just thought you should know I'm your mate and you are mine." Mates, mates, mates. The words span round and round in your head. You could hear them moving towards the door and you needed to get out of there. Needed to be hidden in your room while you figured out how to breathe again. You felt your heart disintegrate and your treacherous feet wouldn't move from the spot outside of Rhys' study.

You'd just started to panic as the door opened and you came face to face with Mor. Her eyes widened as yours widened right back at her and she slid through the door and closed it behind her. She was blocking you from Rhys' view, you realised. She grabbed your arm and gave you a look that said "Not here, hold it together, not where he can hear you." And the world enveloped into darkness as she Winnowed the two of you to the balcony at the top of the house. She stepped back and looked at you again.

"He didn't want you to find out like this." She said calmly, you were numb. "Did he want me to find out at all?" You croaked, she sighed. "Of course he did, he's not blind, he knows how you feel for him, knows that you waited 50 years for him, he's always known, he didn't want to hurt you and he knew this would." Your world collapsed, he'd known all along. You felt like a fool and your knees gave out as you sobbed. Mor joined you on the ground and cradled you in her arms trying her best to comfort you. You could barely hear over the thumping in your ears but you were vaguely aware of another presence on the balcony and that you'd been transferred from one set of arms to another. Taking a deep breathe to calm yourself you took in the familiar scent of Azriel and continued to cry into his chest as he held you, neither him or Mor moved.

"I need to get back to the library." You sniffled to your friends. "Feyre asked me to keep her company while she does her writing." Mor shook her head. "You don't need to do that." You smiled at her weakly "I told her I would and I will." You heard Az sigh behind you but he hauled you up with him to a standing position and wiped the last of your tears from your face. "You gonna be okay?" He asked but you knew what he meant, it went deeper than okay, and you knew if you'd asked him he'd walk straight into Rhys' study and punch him for you. You nodded at him and he Winnowed you to your room so you could retrieve your book and return to the library. He followed you there, you knew he would, you were hurting and you knew for the next little while, Az would never be far away. He was trying his best to distract you with stupid stories of Cassian when you stopped dead and he nearly ran into your back, there stood Rhys, reading Feyre's writing and smiling at her like she'd put stars in the sky.

You steeled yourself, straightened your back and held your head high as you nodded at Az who faded into the shadows of the library and walked towards the pair of them. "Found some other company I see?" You tried tease but your voice didn't come out as strong as you wanted it too and Rhys raised a questioning eyebrow that you ignored. Feyre turned to you as you felt a shadow slide its way round your wrist and up the sleeve of your tunic "I'm here." It seemed to say. "I was just about to come looking for you!" She said, her voice was like a chime and you smiled "Sorry it took me so long to get back, I had to help Az with something quickly."

She looked at Rhys "Who's Az?" Rhys eyes darted behind you into the shadows that Azriel was hiding himself in. Busted. Of course he knew he was there. "Azriel is one of my two brothers, he's away working right now." He told her as he glared at where Az was hiding.

It was later that night when Rhys called you to his study. You knew what was coming and you'd already heard him say the words but you weren't ready to hear them said directly to you. You sat as if you'd been frozen in place while he spoke. While he told you he loved you but it wasn't fair on you or her if he carried on with you. That he didn't want to hurt you and that he was sorry that he had. You surprised him when you pulled together all you had left and said. "I'm happy for you Rhysand, honestly, what a blessing to find a mate in a place like that." And you meant it. "Since when do you call me Rhysand?" He questioned as hurt flashed through his eyes. You shrugged, since about 4pm this afternoon you thought. When it became unbearable to call him anything else. "How are you going to tell the others?" You had known Mor knew thanks to the conversation you'd overheard anyway and then something clicked in your head. Azriel had never asked why you were crying. Rhys coughed and said "They already know, I just didn't know how to tell you." Just as there was a knock on the door he looked to you and your unmoving figure and told whoever was outside to come in.

He expected you to relax as Az came in followed by Cassian, you looked up at the two warriors and your heart filled with anger as you stood to face your best friend. "You knew?" You asked him, eyes looking dead into his, he nodded. "You didn't tell me? You just gave me pitiful looks while he distanced himself?" Azriel looked at the floor as he said. "He's my High Lord, I was asked not to tell you." For the second time that day, your heart disintegrated and you threw yourself at the Shadowsinger. Fists pounding on his chest, you knew he wouldn't stop you. Knew he would let you hit him as many times as you wanted until it was out of your system. The tears you swore you wouldn't spill in front of Rhys betrayed you and ran down your cheeks. It was Cassian who reacted, wrapping his giant arm around your middle and hauling you out of the study. He didn't let you go until you were both in the library and he was sitting in your favorite chair by the fire. You curled in his lap like a scared child crying into his chest.

You weren't sure how long you sat there. Curled into the massive general. You knew it had been some time since you'd cried yourself out. Exhausted and empty you stayed where you were, staring into nothingness. You weren't sure how long it had been since Azriel had joined the two of you in the library. You hadn't acknowledged him as he kneeled in front of you desperately trying to meet your eyes. You'd ignored him. The Shadowsinger tried everything he had in his arsenal to get you to look at him. He sent Shadows to dance around your fingers and hair, you'd waved them off and curled more into Cassian. You felt the General shake his head at his brother who sighed, stood up, kissed your forehead and left, shrouded by more shadows than you'd ever seen him covered in. You were thankful that Rhys had the sense to leave you be. No, you weren't sure how long you'd sat there, but you woke up the next day in your bed, eyes sore and shadows fluttering nearby.

It was days before you acknowledged Azriel again, weeks before you spoke words to him and only then you gave basic one word answers and only spoke when spoken too but there was an ever present shadow following you. All too soon the remaining Archeron sisters came tumbling out of the Cauldron, Cassian's wings were shredded and Azriel was bleeding out, he hadn't wanted you there, was insistent on it. "It's too dangerous!" He'd said and you'd scoffed at him, still so angry with him. Why you'd felt so betrayed by his silence about Rhys and Feyre. The latter had accepted the bond with great joy, you were happy for them, you could see how well they worked. You felt sick to your stomach looking down at Azriel, not daring to move towards him. It was Feyre who saved you all. She broke the bond with Rhys and fell back into Tamlin's arms. Rhys roared in pain, a sound you'd never heard him make and you flinched as Mor grabbed you. She winnowed over to Feyre's sisters. Ripping Elain away from Lucien. You grabbed Nesta, who Cassian had been desperately trying to reach since she'd been dragged into the throne room in her night dress. Mor winnowed again, back to safety. Back to the place that no longer felt like a home to you.

War was coming. Tamlin in his heartbreak had allowed Hyburns forces to enter Prythian via Spring. Feyre had destroyed him and his court from the inside, a move you did not agree with and she had returned with Lucien as High Lady of the Night Court, another move you didn't agree with, she was, after all, a child compared to the rest of you. A child with far too much power. A meeting had been arranged with all the High Lords. They would meet at the palace in the Dawn Court. It was there you'd first seen him. Tall, pale, arrogant, freckles across his face that looked like constellations. He'd caught you staring at him and smirked at you. His amber eyes met yours and you felt a tiny spark of something in your chest as a small gasp escaped from your mouth. He continued to watch you as Mor bounced up to your side and glared at him. "That's Eris." She spoke lowly into your ear and in solidarity with your friend, your curious look turned into a glare as well. As she dragged you away you wondered if he had the same gift as Rhys as you swore you could hear his low chuckle in your head. It was the best sound you'd ever heard.

To say the meeting was a shitshow was putting it lightly. Tamlin showed up and blamed Feyre for the invasion of the Spring Court and the subsequent attack on Summer. Rhys tried to persuade everyone he was a good guy all along and then silenced Tamlin from speaking. Eris made some comments about Mor and Azriel truly lost his shit. It was you who pulled him off of the Autumn Heir. Feyre pulled rank and asked Azriel to sit with her and the chaos continued as Beron ordered his son out of the room to clean himself up. You don't know why you did it. You don't know what in the cauldron possessed you to wait five minutes and follow Eris out of the room, but you did. You could heal, that was your thing and Rhys said you needed allies. That's what you were doing. Making allies. That's what you were convincing yourself of as you sought him out. You weren't even sure how you knew where he'd gone but somehow, you did.

You found him sitting on a stone bench in one of the gardens. Picking the petals off of a rose he'd picked from one of the many bushes that surrounded him. You hid behind one as you watched him, watched his nimble fingers pull off petal after petal. Watched them catch fire and burn as they fell to the ground. Watched him run and hand down his face and then wince in pain. "You know I know you're there right?" He asked, looking straight at the bush you were hiding behind.

You cleared your throat, straightened your dress, held your head high as Rhys had always taught you to do and walked towards him. His eyes took you in, roaming you up and down. "Azriel must be getting really sloppy at training his spies, you weren't quiet at all." You bristled at his comment. "I'm not a spy and you shouldn't bait him." He rolled his eyes. "But it's so fun getting under the Shadowsinger's skin." You rolled your eyes this time. "So you like getting your ass kicked then?" He crossed his arms and winced as he did so. "He just got lucky." You laughed. "Uh huh, sure he did." His eyes narrowed as he looked at you. "If you're not a spy, why are you spying on me?" You huffed. "I wasn't spying on you, I can heal, I'm a good healer, I just thought I'd offer to help but then I found you and all the stories I've been told caught up with me and I hesitated." He uncrossed his arms but his eyes narrowed more and his brow furrowed. "Ah I see, the villainous Eris Vanserra, at your service."

You sighed and sat next to him. "I tend to like to form my own opinions, thank you. People aren't always what they seem." He froze, his face morphed into shock and then back to suspicious all within the space of about 3 seconds. "You'd be the first." He muttered as he picked another rose and began picking and burning the petals. "No healer can be that good, I'll heal well enough." You stood from the bench and kneeled at the pile of burnt petals at his feet. You hovered your hands over them and he watched, eyebrows raised as a soft golden glow emitted from your palms. He watched in awe as the petal reformed and you picked it up and handed it to him, retaking your place next to him on the bench. "I'm that good." You smirked. "Modest too." He said as he smirked right back.

The two of you fell into easy conversation for the next few minutes before you broached the subject again. "So will you let me?" He raised an eyebrow at you. "Let you what?" He smirked. "Heal you?" His smirk turned into a small smile. "You really don't have to do that, I'll heal on my own." You gave him a proper smile. "I want to." He hesitated. "I don't even have to touch you, it'll be super quick and it won't hurt-" he cut you off. "Okay, okay." You beamed and held your hands up to his face, without touching him. He watched with awe again as your palms turned golden. He could feel the skin on his face stitching back together. Your palms moved down, hovering over his chest. "Y/N, what the hell are you doing?" You froze at the sound of Azriel's voice and Eris watched your eyes widen. You turned to face the Shadowsinger. "I was helping." Azriel's eyes flashed. "You don't help him." Your eyes narrowed at him. "That's not your choice to make." You could feel the smirk Eris undoubtedly had on his face. "Get inside Y/N." You crossed your arms. "Excuse me? Who do you think you're talking to?" A throat cleared behind Eris. "Someone who's doing as his High Lord's orders." Eris watched your spine straighten. "Inside, Y/N. Now." Rhys said, leaving no room for argument. You looked at Eris one last time. "Goodbye." You murmured and you turned to walk past Azriel. Eris grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards him. "It was lovely to meet you, Y/N. I hope to see you again soon." He said as he slipped something into your hand and he kissed your knuckles. "Unlikely." Azriel spat at the Autumn Lordling and followed you inside.

As soon as you were alone in your room, you opened your palm to find the rose you had healed for him. You quickly stowed it away in your trunk as Azriel walked through the door. "You don't knock now?" You asked him as you crossed your arms. "What the hell was that about?" He mimicked your stance and you could tell he was fighting his temper. "I was healing him after you beat the shit out of him? Is that not why we're here? For alliances?" He ran a frustrated hand down his face. "You don't go near him, Y/N, you know what he did to Mor." You scoffed at him. "I'm a big girl, Azriel, you can't tell me what to do!" Shadows flared and skitted about the room. "I'm trying to keep you safe! I don't want the same thing to happen to you! He's not a good male!" "We need him, Azriel! We need Autumn!" Power crackled in the room and darkness snuffed out all the light. "Leave, Azriel." Rhysands smooth commanding voice filled the room. The Shadowsinger huffed but obeyed.

"Here to scold me like a child too?" You asked Rhys as soon as Azriel was out the door. "What's going on with you lately?" Rhys asked, taking a seat in one of the armchairs by the fire and crossing one long leg over the other. "Nothing." He let out a bitter laugh. "Don't lie to me." You sat opposite him. "I'm not." You cringed as you felt the talons of his power scraping across your mind. "Get out of my head Rhys." He sighed, uncrossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. "Then tell me what's going on? Your snappy, distant and today you went after Eris!" You huffed. "We're here for alliances! I offered my help!" He scoffed. "Looked more friendly than that if you ask me!" You rolled your eyes. "It was nothing, I offered to help him heal, that's all!" You were almost shouting at him as your hand rubbed at your chest where a warmth had settled since you'd left Eris in the garden. Rhys stood. "Don't come crying to me when you get hurt." He snapped as he left the room.

You paced the length of the room a couple of times, frustration filling you and angry tears filled your eyes. Why had you gone after Eris? How did you know exactly where he was? What was this warm feeling that hadn't left your chest? You did the only thing that seemed logical and threw yourself on your bed and cried. You weren't sure when you'd fallen asleep but when you woke it was dark and the palace was quiet. You rolled over and spotted a note on your bedside table. Curiosity over took you and you pulled it open.

Dear Y/N,

I hope you didn't get in too much trouble for helping me. Your friends are not particularly fond of me for things that happened many years ago that haven't ever been properly explained.

I thank you for your time and your gentle words. No one has been that kind to me for a very long time. Please know if you ever need me, all you need to do is write. Just think of me and the note will come to me. Don't let life in the Night Court snuff you out. There's a whole world out there Y/N. Explore it.

I would very much like to see you again before you leave tomorrow, before war takes over again. I'll be in the garden. I hope to see you.

Sincerely,

Eris.

You didn't think twice as you sprung out of bed, shoved your slippers on your feet and took off out of your room towards the gardens. You were praying you weren't too late as you cleared the front door and rounded the corner to the rose garden where you found him earlier. Your heart sank as you took in the empty garden. You'd missed him. He wasn't here. You sighed and sunk down on the bench.

"Looking for someone?"

#acotar #acomaf #acosf #acowar #acofas #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of wings and ruin #a court of thorns and roses #a court of frost and starlight #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x reader

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kairiscorner · 7 months

Text

he can't make up his mind.

inspired by @smokeywhalee's lovely prompt !!

part 1. part 2.

he was never the type to want to be bothered by anyone–never the type to let himself be distracted by other people's affairs, and was never the type to commit to that whole 'friendship' business. you tried your luck at being acquaintances with him on the first day at the spider society, and of course, that blew over pretty... poorly.

all he gave you were side glances and awkward silences as responses to all your greetings and questions. it was always a good talk with him, oh, definitely–he did a brick wall's job better at being silent and indifferent. the months passed, and you hadn't noticed a single change in his behavior; he was the same as always, cold and distant, and was quick to leave or shut you down when you had any bold ideas to capturing villains or anomalies.

'too bold', or 'too ambitious' he'd claim your proposals would be. "you're supposed to be a defender of the multiverse, not act as fodder for the bad guys–start wising up and just... stay with me." he'd always say in all kinds of ways. it pissed you off how he kept shouldering all the responsibilities and tasks for himself, it didn't relax you one bit knowing that you weren't doing anything but just staying as 'miguel o'hara's partner' instead of doing the usual spider people duties you'd do on your own back in your home dimension. peter b and jess always pointed out that miguel had a secret liking to you, but you never believed them; if he liked you so much, he'd trust you to do all the stuff he could, right?

of course not, because tonight, when you were just minding your own business and readying yourself up, about to go on a date, miguel was... acting strangely that evening.

"where are you off to? don't you know you... have more patrol hours today? ...a date? with whom? i don't know that guy, do i? what's he like? how'd you meet him? is he decent? is he tall? is he smart at biology? a geneticist? a... guy who genuinely cares about you?"

"what's with all the questions?"

he turned away from you, his broad, toned back facing you as always, making you roll your eyes and thinking just how typical this scene was–save for his incessant questions and generally nosy behavior tonight. he shrugged and focused on his monitors again, clearing his throat before he answered you. "you... shouldn't just trust anybody, it doesn't matter how long you've known them–when... you start opening up, to people you... feel vulnerable around–you can't ever tell when they'll change. when their feelings for you might take a whole 180 and you'll realize too late that... this guy might actually be an asshole and hurt you."

"...and i would never want you to go through that kind of hurt." "what was that?" you asked him as you fixed your hair in front of your compact mirror, focusing on your reflection while he gave you that mini speech. you hadn't listened to him, unfortunately, and miguel sighed in response; hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. "nevermind, just... make sure you'll be safe." "it's not like i'm going off to fight a venom variant or anything, i'll be fine, miggy." "...i wouldn't know what i'd do if you weren't." he muttered to himself as you stepped out of the portal you opened to go on your date, secretly wishing as he stayed behind and alone in his vast, dark office that he was the one out there with you tonight, making you feel special and loved–not just some other guy who wouldn't even come close to him in loving you.

but if he's too hesitant to make the first move... is he really any better at loving you and treating you right than this guy you're going out with tonight?

he sighed as lyla appeared over his shoulder. "you could begin by being more open with them, y'know?" "did my mini speech mean nothing at all to them?" "oh, no, it's just... you had a point, yeah, though, how could you prove yourself to them if you're too scared of moving forward and actually, y'know, making stuff happen?" "...we'll deal with it after their date, can we check on their dimension to make sure they're...?" lyla sighed and pulled up the monitor with you walking to your date spot in your dimension, and miguel watched closely as he anxiously tried to analyze the guy you were with, muttering under his breath how basic they looked.

"i mean, seriously, out of all the people they could have picked–why not the only person who takes all the effort to take up all their burdens and work for them?" "oh, you mean the overbearing, overprotective vampire boss man who doesn't let them fo anything and snoops in on their business 24/7, gee, i wonder why..." she mumbled sarcastically as miguel glared at her. "not helping." "why, glad to know that, mr. brooding and jelly."

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

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