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oddinary4bts · 7 months

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When the End Comes | ch 4 (jjk)

☆summary: Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

☆pairing: photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in every chapter)

☆genre: breakup!au, slice of life!au, angst with a big A, smut

☆warnings: fear of getting stood up, alcohol, pet names, curses, Jungkook's scars, angst, stubborn Jungkook, pessimism, depressive episode, cliffhanger at the end I'm sorry, explicit content: jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), Jungkook taking pictures of them during (I apologize, I have sinned), balls sucking/fondling, pain kink (Jungkook), deep throating, mouth fucking, unprotected sex, hickey, clit play, degradation, fingering, cum play (ish?)

☆word count: 14.3k

☆series masterpost

☆a/n: Rereading each chapter to edit is a challenge bc I just be sobbing the whole time :') I hope you enjoy this one, though it does really hurt oop

☆a/n pt2: Thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing this, you are the best <3 and thank you to @jessikahathaway for supporting me with this project, you are amazinnng

☆Read The Forgotten Spaces here, the prequel to When the End Comes! It does not need to be read to understand When the End Comes, but I think it still should be read first to have a better understanding of the characters in general!

☆Add yourself to the taglist here (if you were on the taglist for The Forgotten Spaces, you're already on the taglist for When the End Comes!)

☆☆☆☆☆

But love never leaves a heart, where it found it, found it You found it Someday, I'll fall into you That's where I'll be now when the end comes

When the End Comes, Andrew Belle

☆☆☆☆☆

Friday, September 8th

You clutch the gift bag in your hand. It feels strange to be meeting Jungkook again, after last weekend. And even after last weekend, you’re not sure where you’re standing.

Did he spend his whole week thinking about you the way that you were thinking about him?

You texted a little, over the week. Each time a notification from him popped up on your phone, you felt like you’d gone back in time. Like maybe, maybe you took a time machine to a past of better days last weekend. It’s bittersweet in a way, because you feel like there is still so much left unsaid between you and him.

But he’s willing to try. Even if you broke him, even if you’ve been wondering if there’s anything salvageable after all, he’s willing to try. Willing to meet you at a Korean barbecue restaurant halfway between his place and yours.

You check the time, anxiety flooding your veins. He’s running late, though he texted you to tell you he was almost there. A part of you wonders if he’s going to stand you up – you think you’d deserve it. Because you’re not sure you deserve this chance, yet you don’t want to lose it, don’t want to let it go.

You look down at the bag. You bought the gift on a whim this week, and you have no idea if he’ll still want it. It’s a lens he was looking to buy months ago, before he left for Paris, and there’s a high chance that he’ll have bought it for himself since then…

You just couldn’t think about anything other than that to gift him. Even though his work was your demise, you know Jungkook loves photography. Always will, no matter where you two will end up. And since it was his birthday last weekend – before you’d reconnected – you thought why not? Why not get a gift and show him that you still care, that you remember?

Because you’d never forget, when it comes to him. You think, if you had dementia, he’d be the last thing you’d lose, if at all.

You worry at your lip, glancing around. Luckily enough for you, there is a bench outside of the restaurant, though you can only sit on a corner of it as the rest is still wet from the rain earlier. It was raining when you left work, but it fortunately stopped as you were getting ready for the date.

You sigh, looking down at your phone again. Twenty minutes late seems like a long time, considering that Jungkook’s not one to be late usually. A sense of dread takes ahold of your heart, and you already feel tears forming in your eyes.

You were foolish, stupid. Idiotic, if you thought there was a way things could be set right.

You get up, looking towards the door of the restaurant. A couple are waiting in the hall, arms around each other as they hug with not a care in the world. It aches deeply, makes you crave the physical intimacy last Saturday held and you gulp as you swallow around the lump in your throat.

Still you stay rooted in your spot. There’s a light tremor that starts taking a hold of you, and you regret not putting a jacket on even though it isn’t remotely freezing today. Your eyes fall to the gift bag, and you think about May. About the moment you’d let him go – has he gotten too far for you to reach him now?

A tear wins. Or perhaps it’s the gravity, growing ten times stronger as your heart breaks again. As the hope gets lost to you, replaced by that same deep sorrow you’ve become accustomed to. You sigh, the breath of air trembling on the way out.

And then you almost let out a scream as someone touches your arm.

Jungkook startles just as much as you, taking a step back, his big, doe eyes widening even more as he meets your gaze. Your mouth remains open, yet no words come out. You just take him in, take his appearance in – his piercings, the beanie he’s wearing, his flushed cheeks. He looks like he was running, and you think maybe he was.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you.

At that your eyes drop to the bright pink bouquet of flowers he’s holding, and something inside of you heals, as if you’ve found a cure to the disease.

“Oh, Jungkook,” you let out. You meet his gaze again. “You didn’t have to.”

He pulls at his piercings, shrugging sheepishly. “I wanted to.”

It’s warm. Whatever is blossoming in your chest is warm, a stark contrast to the winter you’ve been stuck in since the night you lost him.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and you blink away the tears in your eyes.

You freeze when he wipes the one that’s already rolled on your cheek, frowning slightly at the sight.

“The florist I wanted to go to first was closed,” he says as an explanation. “I had to run around to find another one.”

You offer him a small smile, and his features immediately smooth out into a soft expression too.

“I was scared you were…” you trail off, wetting your lips as you refuse to voice your fear.

Refuse to admit you didn’t have faith in him.

“I thought you would,” he answers carefully. “Hence why I ran.”

You nod. “I…” You look down at the gift bag, holding it up. “I got you a birthday gift.”

His smile is teary when you look at it next, and you take a moment to delve into the depths of his gaze. There’s a small twinkle there, though it is faint, barely even noticeable. If you didn’t know him like the sun knows the moon, you wouldn’t recognize it.

He’s hopeful. It’s strange – there was no hope in Jungkook’s gaze last weekend. Or there had been, for a fraction of a moment, until it had been blown away by the wind. You can only hope that this time it will hold on strong.

“You didn’t have to,” he says, though the curve of his pink lips tells you he appreciates the thought.

He grabs the gift bag, not looking through it right away. Instead, he hands you the flowers, and you delicately take them, bringing them close to your nose so that you can inhale the fragrance. Your eyelids flutter shut, and a content smile moves on your lips.

“Thank you,” you murmur as you meet his gaze again. “And…” You motion towards the gift. “You deserved it. I think you’ll like it.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence, as Jungkook looks down at the bag. He offers you a tight-lipped smile, and you cock an eyebrow.

“What?” he lets out.

“Aren’t you going to…” you vaguely answer. “Open it?”

“Oh, now?” He chuckles awkwardly, glancing around before pointing towards the restaurant. “Shouldn’t we go in to give our names?”

He’s got a point. Especially considering that it’s a Friday evening. So you do just that, giving your phone number to the hostess as she tells you there will be a thirty minutes wait. You and Jungkook move back outside after that, and he guides you towards his car, a few streets down.

“How was work this week?” he asks on the way.

“Better,” you admit, remembering how you’d told him that you didn’t like the new department in which you worked.

And it’s true – it has been better. Maybe because the excitement of receiving texts from him through the days made it easier to handle. Or maybe it’s because you haven’t been so damned cold since last weekend. All in all, work has been easier, even if it isn’t as interesting as it used to be.

“I’m glad,” he says, offering you a smile.

Silence surrounds the two of you, only interrupted by a car honking in the street. You startle a little, and Jungkook chuckles.

You’re struck. His chuckles have healing properties, you’re convinced of it. They spark hope into you, so bright you think you’ll be blinded, retina forever burned. Yet your eyes don’t lose focus on him, even as his lips return to a neutral expression.

“What about you?” you ask as your heart picks up in your chest. “What were you up to this week?”

A small crease appears between his brows, but it disappears so quickly you think you might have imagined it. “I’ve been going to the gym,” he answers. “And looking around for some jobs.”

His last sentence turns the hope into a firework show inside of you. “Yeah? Any luck so far?”

You reach his car, and as he always does, he opens the door for you. You blush, something you haven’t really done with Jungkook in forever, and you’re struck thinking that this feels new.

Perhaps this will be a new chapter in your relationship with Jeon Jungkook after all.

“Thank you,” you mutter as your cheeks burn. You sit in, and he closes the door before moving around the car to get in. You watch him do so, and he sits next to you, turning the car on just long enough so that you can roll the windows down.

“Now,” he lets out, eyeing the bag. “What’s this?”

For some reason, it makes you chuckle, and he shoots you a dumb smile that makes you think you’ve delved right into the heat of summer, warmth spreading through you. It erases the winter, replaces it with blooming flowers and bright sun rays, golden sunsets and the feeling of a soft breeze threading through your hair.

Needless to say, you want to cling to it before winter comes again.

“Open and you’ll see,” you answer, your heart racing as you glance at the bag, before going back to his smile.

He nods, and he opens the bag, taking out the paper first. Your heartbeat increases tenfold because, what if he doesn’t like it?

What if he takes it as an affront that you’ve given him something photography related?

But then he sees it. Sees the lens you bought for him, and his features turn somber, but not in a bad way. They settle into a calm expression, with a softer smile that barely even tugs at the corners of his lips. He takes a deep breath, and then looks towards you again.

Teary eyes find yours, and you think maybe this is it. Maybe this is where the end will find you. Lost in the swirling depth of his gaze, in the forgotten space of you and him.

He whispers your name, emotion making it heavier than the whole world. You nod once, as no sentences take shape in your mind to reply to him. You’re not sure you have to say something – he sees in your eyes the emotions you can’t quite voice.

“You really didn’t have to,” he adds, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps. “Fuck.”

He looks down at the lens, takes it out of the bag so that he can examine it thoroughly. You observe him as he does so, as if you’re watching a show. And you think, maybe he is a show – a movie meant for you to admire on and on until you go old and blindness seeps into your gaze.

“I wanted to,” you reply.

He shoots you a quick look, just as teary as the initial one. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

And then he laughs, a small vulnerable laugh that has you blinking back the wetness building up on your waterline. You echo it with one of yours, though it comes unexpectedly to you. But then again, you reckon you share the same feelings.

You always have, haven’t you? Your soul is in sync with his, has always been, no matter if distance put an end to the story of you and him. Or tried to, because he’s here today.

So are you, and if he allows it, you’ll never leave again.

“I’ve wanted this lens in forever,” he says, voice small as he turns it in his hands, looking at it in every possible angle. “You…” he trails off, meets your gaze and smiles again. “You remembered.”

You nod. “How could I forget?” You worry at your lips, shy away from his gaze to watch your wriggling fingers in your lap. “There isn’t a day I didn’t think of you.”

The revelation seems out of place, in a parked car on the side of a busy street. Yet it comes naturally to you, and meets him just as naturally. Because he nods, and then reaches for you. Grabs your jaw, gently, so that he can turn your head towards him. There’s a moment when you think the whole world holds his breath, and then he leans forward, brushes a soft kiss on your lips.

“I missed you,” he admits as he pulls away, letting go of your jaw reluctantly.

A tear slips on your cheek, and you quickly dry it. “I missed you too.”

And though the moment is heavy with emotion, you don’t want to run away from it. When you were younger, you would have fled like a deer hearing a branch crack in the woods. But today, today you want the weight of this emotion to rest upon you, like a weighted blanket that reminds you you’re alive.

The emotion lingers, past this moment and into the next. As you get the text that a table is ready for you and him, and you move back to the Korean restaurant. As you sit in front of him, watch him smile and laugh in time with you at the stupid jokes that you make.

You and him make more sense than you realized. Or maybe you forgot. Maybe the distance made you forget, but right now you think you know he’ll always be the one. And if you lose him again, he’ll be the one that got away, and you’ll search for him through every connection with temporary people.

Because there can’t be permanent people after him. He’s permanently inked into your heart, carved into your bones.

“How has your family been?” he asks when there’s a lull in the conversation.

You offer him a tight-lipped smile, though you know he means your father, Isabel and Louis.

You know he’d never talk about your mother as part of your family.

“They’ve been great,” you answer. “Dad’s been looking to retire, or at least to have a lesser charge at work.”

Jungkook furrows his brows, but says nothing as he puts some meat on the grill between you and him. You observe him as he does so, wincing when flames erupt and he pulls his hand away – quickly enough, thankfully.

“How old is he again?” Jungkook asks after that, meeting your gaze again.

“Fifty-nine,” you reply. “But I don’t think it’s about his age. He just wants to spend more time with Louis.”

The softness that takes over his doe eyes makes you want to curl up in him, against him. Makes you want to listen to his beating heart until the day that it ceases, decades away from now. It’s a strong feeling, and you’re forced to blink away tears again.

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook gently says, and he reaches to pat your cheek.

It makes you laugh. Of course it does, and he offers you a dumb smile again. For the first time that night, you notice that yes, it does reach his eyes. The smile lights up his gaze, though there’s wariness, etched in the lines of his face.

It’s not that you missed it before. Maybe you just didn’t want to see it. But right in this instant, it’s all you can see, and it makes his smile fall until his eyes follow, moving to the grill. He turns the meat as you busy yourself with eating japchae.

And you don’t like this silence. You don’t like the ache that it carries, so you force yourself to try. To try and fight for him and prove that, after everything, he really is where the end will be, when it comes for you.

“What about your family?” you ask, throwing him a lifeline in the storm you’re sure he’s been plagued with too.

“They’ve been great,” he answers. “My brother’s wife is pregnant again.”

For a moment you forget about the torment between you and him as your mind zeroes in on the fact. “That’s amazing!” you let out, and your smile comes easily. “They must be so happy.”

Jungkook looks at your smile, taking a deep breath. It seems he takes a decision then, because his lips curve up, and some of the wariness fades away. He looks softer like this, younger, and your heart shines under his light.

“It really is,” he says. “I was thinking on going to Korea to see the baby when Yuri gives birth.”

In another world, you would have said you’ll go with him, but right now you don’t think you can. So, instead, you reply, “That’s a good idea. I’m sure your family will be happy to see you.”

He nods, and then he puts some meat in your bowl, taking the two other stripes for himself. You mindlessly pick one of the pieces up, mixing it in ssamjang before eating it. You wince as you burn your tongue a little, and quickly eat the meat so that you can take a long gulp of water.

Jungkook must have expected you to burn yourself, because he laughs at your expense as he refills your glass. “You good?”

You nod. “Sorry, just burned myself.”

“Don’t apologize.”

So you don’t. For the rest of the evening, you try not to apologize. And you think you succeed – you both speak as if distance wasn’t a thing between you. As if time hasn’t come to pass between you too – as if you’ve never been apart. As if, seven years ago, the stars told the truth as they sparkled in the July night sky.

You finish eating while chatting like this, while sharing thoughts about movies you’ve seen. As he tells you about working out, about Bam and the songs he’s been listening to. He drinks a beer as you speak, and you once again take a moment to admire him.

You’d never admit it, but the beanie makes him look good. Comfortable and soft – as does the jean jacket, you reckon. But then again you know Jungkook would look good in anything, one of the advantages of him being gifted with pretty privilege.

And when he clinks his glass with yours, claiming you have to finish drinking even though you’ve only been drinking water, you still laugh with him, still down your glass as he chugs the beer. And you wonder, how long will it take to erase the distance?

Will it take more than this moment in time, to undo the distance and rebuild the closeness?

And you think, maybe it just needs now. Because as you walk out, bellies full and minds buzzing with a slight tinge of alcohol, you accept Jungkook’s extended hand. You let him guide you to his car, even though yours is parked on the other side of the restaurant. He opens the door for you again, but you hesitate for a moment.

Long enough to step closer to him instead, and pull him down so you can peck his lips. He looks surprised, and his features fall serious as you share a long look.

“Can I come over tonight?” you whisper.

He nods. “I thought it was a given.”

Of course he would. And you’re not even mad that he would. You’re rather relieved, and you can’t help yourself. You can’t help pulling him down in a more heated kiss, even though you hate public displays of affection. There are just words your lips can’t say any other way than this, and he gets it. He’ll always get you. He always will, and he kisses you with the same intensity, one hand cupping your cheek gently while the other presses on the small of your back, resting flat as he pulls you in. You hold his delicate waist, sighing in the kiss as your thumbs draw idle lines on his sides.

Jungkook pulls away to press a kiss on your forehead, lingering there for a small eternity that leads to you wrapping your arms around his waist. He lets you do it, and you wonder if his soul has found yours. You hope it has, for there are things your soul can say even better than your mouth can.

Apologies don’t mean much when they are shaped in words. But you think your soul could show him, and maybe, maybe tonight he’ll allow you to show him.

“Are you parked somewhere you can leave your car overnight?” he asks softly, lips moving against your forehead.

You nod. “I am.”

“Then let’s go home.”

*****

It comes as a surprise, when you realize Jungkook has moved in the same building as Kiko and Yoongi. Even more so as they run into you on the way in, knowing smiles on their lips as Jungkook holds your hand tight. They don’t really say a lot – both of them aren’t man and woman of words, except when they pour them into the lyrics of a song.

But Kiko does hug you. Does whisper in your ear that she wishes everything will be set right for the two of you, and when you pull away to meet Jungkook’s gaze, you think it already is. Especially as you’re clutching the flowers he got for you, and their sweet fragrance surrounds you.

And then they walk away, as they were leaving to go on a late walk, and you and Jungkook walk in the building, making your way to the elevator. Jungkook presses the call button, and then pulls you close to his chest so that he can press a kiss on the top of your head.

“Well, that was awkward,” he says.

You chuckle. “It wasn’t really.”

His grip tightens around you before he lets you go so that you can enter the elevator. He follows you in, and he intertwines your fingers as he presses on the fourth floor. As the elevator starts moving, you pull him closer, tilting your head back as you pout slightly.

“What?” he asks.

“Kiss me?”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He immediately dives in, and you’re surprised with the strength of the kiss. As if he’s pouring his entire soul in it, and you think maybe he is. After all, you kiss him back with all the fire in you, and it’s burning brighter than it ever has.

Unfortunately, the moment is short-lived as you reach his floor and the doors slide open. He pulls away, presses a kiss on your forehead as if he wasn’t sucking on your tongue a moment ago, and then he pulls you behind him as he walks towards his door.

It’s further down the hall, and you wait excitedly as he unlocks. Though you’re a little worried about seeing Bam again – what if he doesn’t recognize you?

Which, you reckon was a stupid thought, because the dog comes barging out, tail wagging wildly, when Jungkook manages to get the door open.

“Bamie!” you exclaim, and Jungkook carefully takes the bouquet of flowers from your hand to allow you to bend down and pet the dog.

He licks at your face, whimpering as if he thought he’d lost you. It brings tears to your eyes, and you giggle like a kid as you pet him, rubbing his short fur as he keeps running all around you.

“I think he’s happy to see you,” Jungkook deadpans, and you burst out laughing.

You look up to try and look at Jungkook, but Bam jumps in your vision, which makes you giggle again. And then, something magical happens. Something you didn’t think you’d hear again – Jungkook laughs that childish laugh of his, the one that usually only comes forth when he’s really happy.

You act by pure instinct. You stand up, wrap your arms around Jungkook’s neck. His giggle dies against your lips, but he’s quick to kiss you back as he snakes his inked arm around your back. You let out a breathy sound, and then burst into a fit of giggles as Bam jumps on you.

“I think he demands attention,” you state and Jungkook nods as you part, though he keeps his arm close to you.

“We should take him on a walk,” he says, and you notice his cheeks are flushed red. You reckon yours probably are too, but there’s something about seeing the effect that you have on him, even after everything, that makes you come undone.

“I’m so happy to be with you right now,” you murmur.

He gulps, eyes shining suddenly. “Me too.” He adds your name softly, before repeating, “Me too.”

You walk in his apartment after that, to put the flowers in a large glass of water since Jungkook doesn’t own any vase. Meanwhile, he disappears in what you assume is the bedroom, only to reappear with his camera. To your surprise, he’s already fitted the new lens on it.

It’s endearing. There’s something so incredibly endearing at the thought that your gift is loved already, that Jungkook already wants to use it. It makes a line of silver appear in your eyes, and you don’t even blink it away as Jungkook angles the camera towards you to take a picture.

“Huh,” he lets out as he looks at the picture. He adjusts some settings, and before he’s had time to take another picture of you, Bam comes up to you, jumping up. His two paws rest on your waist as you laugh, and that’s when Jungkook snaps the picture.

You glance his way to see him smiling softly, and then he nods appreciatively. “I’m going to use this lens way too much,” he comments.

It makes you laugh. “I’m glad.”

And then you’re going outside with the dog. Jungkook brings the camera, and he snaps pictures of the surroundings, of you and Bam. He even takes one of the three of you, though you reckon the angle is clearly unflattering.

It doesn’t feel like it matters. Because you’re struck realizing that this, this moment matters. It matters enough for him to want to commit it to memory, and you wonder if he’s going to add it to all the frames you left behind.

But then again, did he even put them up in his new apartment? From what you could see when you were in, there was no picture visible.

It aches, but then he tells you to smile and you do. You immediately do, because there’s nothing easier than smiling when you’re with him like this. The wariness still clings to him, but it’s barely visible, like a mirage that’s about to fade in the distance.

“Stop taking pictures of me,” you say as he takes another one.

He lets out a noncommittal sound, shrugging his shoulder. “Why?”

You pout as blush creeps on your cheek. “You haven’t taken this many pictures of me since… Chicago?”

He shakes his head. “I took more pictures on our first trip to Korea.”

A beautiful trip, where you’d met his family for the first time. You had gotten along with everyone well, even though your Korean was poor. You got better through the years, but you still have a long way before you can speak in Korean without feeling like everyone is going to judge you.

“That’s beside the point,” you mumble. You motion towards Bam, who’s patiently sitting next to you. “I’m pretty sure he’s done.”

Jungkook pouts, and butterflies take flight in your stomach. “Sorry,” he apologizes.

You’re not quite sure why.

“I just…” he adds, and then shadows cloud over his features. They resemble the sorrow that was surrounding him last weekend, and just like that you think summer has ended. “I haven’t used my camera since…”

You don’t need for him to say it, because you know exactly what he was going to say. Still, it hurts, and your gaze drops to the ground.

“Gosh,” you whisper. You let out a strangled sound. “I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just grabs your hand, raising it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“We said we’d try,” he reminds you, or maybe he’s trying to remind himself. “Let’s try. For real. So no more apologies.”

“I feel like you deserve thousands of apologies and more,” you admit.

He kisses your forehead, and it’s against your skin that he whispers, “I just want us to move on from what happened.”

You nod, wrapping an arm around his waist to loosely hug him. Unfortunately, Bam pulls on his leash, and you have to let go of Jungkook far too quickly. Still, you meet his gaze, nodding your head again.

“I want to move on too,” you tell him. “If I could, I’d erase everything but…”

He holds out his hand for you to interlace your fingers with his. “But it’s in the past.”

He’s right, yet you see the wariness. It’s still there, though you think soon the mist will dissipate with the rays of the sun. So you follow him in, let him feed Bam before he shows you around his small apartment. It feels like him, in ways you can’t really describe, and you want to stay. You think, if he’d ask you’d never leave again.

“I like it,” you tell him as he finishes the tour in his bedroom, which is only occupied by an unmade bed with white sheet and a small night table with his pair of glasses on top. You notice the LED lights, and a smile moves to your lips. “Please tell me these still shine purple like they did at the house with the boys.”

Jungkook nods, offering you a grin. “Yeah. I thought it’d be great to have a… reminder of a simpler time.”

He turns them on, and you get it. You get it so much you grab the lapels of his jean jacket, pulling him closer to you. His lips are upon yours in an instant, hungry, insistent, ravishing a kiss that makes you light-headed. Especially as he grabs your face, holds on to it like it’s a life buoy in a storm. The piercings push into your bottom lip, their colder temperature making your tongue dart to them, as if to warm them.

Jungkook groans, and then kicks the door of his bedroom shut. He’s had to stop kissing you for that, but he’s kissing you again half a second later, and it’s even more intense, more desperate.

You let go of his jacket, hands blindly moving to his belt as he pushes his tongue in your mouth. You suck on it, moan lightly when he groans again. You fumble with the buckle, but soon enough you get it undone, and you move on to the button of his jeans.

You just want him. Need to feel his body against you, in you. And clearly he needs the same thing, as he pulls away from the hug to take your shirt off. Right as you get the button undone, and then unzip his jeans. You slip your hand in, letting out a breathy sound as you find him already hard. He sits heavy in your hand, and you squeeze him unabashedly.

“Fuck,” he curses, head thrown back as his eyes close. “Baby.”

The pet name has you drop to your knees, and you pull his pants down just enough for his dick to spring free. He doesn’t try to stop you, and you admire him for a time. Admire the brown base of his tip, the veins that run along his length. A bead of precum appears on his slit as you look, and you’re quick to lick it clean. The salty taste fills your mouth, and you look up at him, to see him watching down on you, strands of hair falling in his eyes where they’ve escaped the confines of his beanie.

“Suck it, mmh?” he says.

You grab him, jerking him off loosely. “Yeah?”

His eyes darken behind the strands of hair. He bites at his piercings, cocking his head to the side. And then he’s glancing away and to your surprise, he asks, “Can I take pictures of you while you suck my dick?”

You swirl your tongue around his tip, and he bucks his hips forward. In answer, you sit back on your heels, looking up at him innocently. “Right now?” He nods. “You want to take pictures of me while I suck your dick?”

“If you want to,” he answers. “If you don’t want to it’s fine.”

You close your lips around his tip, sucking once. “You’ll keep the pictures to yourself?”

You don’t know why you’re agreeing. Only know that the lust in Jungkook’s gaze is making you forget everything about common sense. But then again, you highly doubt that Jungkook would ever do anything to harm you.

Jungkook’s mouth falls open as he was about to answer, but when you take his dick as far as you can, he’s silenced. And he’s hard in your mouth, a rod of steel you’ve missed since last week.

“Yeah,” he finally breathes out.

You sit back on your heels. “Then it’s fine.”

He smirks, nodding his head as he finishes taking off his jeans and underwear. “Wait here.”

You purse your lips as he walks away, and you watch him leaving his room to head to where he left his camera. You patiently wait, feeling shy even though you have nothing to be shy about. This is just Jungkook – it’s not like he hasn’t seen you half-naked and on your knees for him before.

It takes him a moment to come back, but when he does, it’s to sit on bed. He’s still hard, and he leans back on a hand as you move closer.

“If you want me to stop, you tell me, okay?” he gently says as you run a hand along his thighs.

You glance at his scar, the familiar knot of skin giving you more confidence than you expected. “You’re going to jerk off to these pictures, mmh?”

He gulps, angling his camera towards you as you lean closer to his dick. You lick at it, and the shutter goes off.

It has you dripping in your panties, unexpectedly.

“So what if I do?” he asks as you grab his dick, stroking him.

The question is rhetorical, and your answer is to wrap your lips around his cock as your eyes flutter shut. You swirl your tongue around the tip and hollow your cheeks as you go down. You hold the gag reflex in as he hits the back of your throat, and you can’t help but moan as you hear his camera again.

You flick your tongue at his frenulum on the way out, and then you stroke his dick as you sit back. You move one hand to his balls, squeezing gently before thinking better of it and leaning forward, sucking on one. He grunts, and you keep your eyes locked on the camera as you jerk him off faster.

Another picture added to the list. And you’re dripping wet. Already you want to sink on his dick, want him to be so deep inside of you that you’re just one.

“Kook…” you murmur, and then you’re back to sucking on his dick, though this time you make sure to squeeze his balls too, the way that he likes it. Hard, but not too hard, and you’re choking around his dick in no time as he starts fucking up in your mouth, clearly forgetting about the pictures.

It goes like this for a while, with his dick growing impossibly hard. Your jaw aches by the time he pushes down on your head, hand lost in your hair. You gag, and he moans loudly. You think he’s coming, but he somehow manages to keep it in before pulling you off.

“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.” He breathes for a moment, as you wipe your mouth and chin from the drool.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. You glance at the camera. “Any good pics?”

That brings him back to the land of lust and passion, and he offers you a smirk. “We can look at them after. I’m not done with you yet.”

You laugh, because you know you’ve barely started. Know you’re likely to be unable to walk tomorrow. Because the lust in his gaze hasn’t shone so bright in years, yes, but also because you almost lost each other.

Or maybe you have, and this too is just a dip in the past.

You stand up, hands snaking to your back so that you can unclasp your bra. Jungkook watches you carefully, before taking a picture as you massage your breasts. It makes you bite at your lower lip, and you look at his hard dick where it rests on his stomach.

“Can I ride you?” you ask breathlessly.

He smirks. “You don’t want me to finger you first?”

Instead of replying, you finish undressing, taking off your pants and panties at the same time. You then push on his jean jacket, and he takes that as a cue to remove it. You motion to the shirt too as he was about to lean back on his hand and he cocks his head to the side, an eyebrow raised. When you nod, he takes it off too, and it makes his beanie fall.

His hair is a mess, and you can’t resist but step forward so that you can push it back, though you think the jet black strands are currently untamable. You give up after a few seconds, pushing on his chest so that he lies back.

His eyes are on you as you climb on his lap, and you grind along his length, coating it with your juices.

“Shit,” he lets out again. “You’re fucking dripping.”

You nod, moving up just enough so that you can grab the base of his dick. His tip prods your entrance, and he pulls at his piercings as you wait there, teasing him with a corner smile on your lips.

“Fucking tease,” he growls.

It undoes something in you. Because yes, you wanted to tease him. You wanted him to beg you to fuck him, but now you sink down on him, until he reaches your cervix. Even the pain of him hitting the back of your pussy doesn’t make you move, and your walls clench around his dick as he grunts out a curse, followed by your name.

“Kook,” you purr. “Fuck me good.”

He chuckles as you circle your hips, and his free hand rests on your hip as he angles his camera to take a picture of you again. “You can’t do the work?”

He says it condescendingly, and you find enough challenge in you to start bouncing up and down. It shuts him up, and the following moment is spent with you fucking yourself on him as he groans under you, your breathy moans filling his room. Soon enough he stops taking pictures, putting his camera down next to him so that he can hold your hips with his two hands.

And then he’s fucking up in you, and you cry out as you lean forward, wrapping an arm around his neck while your other hand holds on to his shoulder.

You’re a mess, yet your heart clenches in your chest as he fucks you like this. As you remember a land of winter, that somehow doesn’t feel as distant as it should. Maybe because of Jungkook’s wariness tonight, or maybe because you know all good things come to an end.

The thought douses your arousal, until Jungkook stills deep inside of you and whispers, “I want to be with you, like this, forever.”

You nuzzle your face in his neck and suck a mark on his skin. “Me too.”

And then he’s fucking you again, hard and quick. He holds you close, grunts in your ear as you lick at his neck. It’s an abundance of sensation, and your brain focuses on the way he hits your clit whenever he pushes up. Whenever his hips snap against you, and soon there’s an orgasm in the distance.

It finds you when he lets you sit up so that you can fuck yourself on him again, and his thumb finds your clit to press expert circles on it. It finds you hard, and your pussy spasms repeatedly on his dick. He helps you through the high, and when you finally come down, a dumb smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

“Fuck,” you let out.

“Felt good?” he asks with a teasing tone to his voice, the one you know he only reserves for you.

To hear it right now makes you love him so much you think you’ll die on the spot. Because yes, tonight has been great. Yes, it’s almost been like before, but what if he doesn’t take you back?

What if, in the end, this was just an extended moment meant to be closure for you and him?

“Yes,” you still reply.

Because no matter how much your heart aches in your chest, you’ll never lie to him.

“Good,” he says. He sits up, wraps an arm around your waist to steady you as he brings his mouth to yours.

You go in for the kiss. Meet him halfway, and you moan against him as he moves under you, albeit clumsily from the position.

His lips will make you drunk. Make you dumb, make you forget that there’s a world outside the door. That, in that world, you might not belong to him anymore. But then again, you think you do. To you, you always will.

“Lie on your side,” he says after a moment, lips moving against yours.

Jungkook pecks your lips one last time before you move, and then he kneels behind you. His dick prods your entrance again, and he grabs his camera to snap another picture.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he praises as he pushes the tip in, taking another picture. “Such a good little fucking slut.”

And then he pushes all the way in, until all of him is embedded in you. You grip the sheets as a broken moan escapes your lips. He holds your hip with one hand, fingers digging in the supple skin as he fucks you hard, chasing his own orgasm.

He looks good doing it. Long hair sticking to the sweat on his face, eyes narrowed in pleasure, mouth open as soft grunts echo through the room. The purple light makes his honey skin glow somehow, and you feel another orgasm reaching for you, though it doesn’t hit right away. It just feels so good – as he always does – and you can’t help but clench your walls against him.

That’s what undoes him. He comes, ropes of white painting your insides, as he swears and says your name in a litany that almost makes you go over the edge too.

“Baby,” he says at the end.

It feels like a confirmation. Like a confirmation that, maybe, maybe you will work this time around. That maybe distance won’t destroy you again – maybe you’ll grow old and gray by his side.

“You came so much,” you say as you feel his hot cum sitting deep inside of you.

He pulls at his piercing, nodding once. And then he pulls out, and he takes a picture of the cum dripping out of you. He decides to push it back in, curling a finger inside of you, and your walls clench as you moan.

“Touch your clit,” he tells you.

You don’t need to be told twice. You quickly move your fingers to the sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing quick circles on it as he pushes another digit inside of you, fingering you until the second orgasm finally finds you.

You cry out his name, a broken plea that doesn’t really make any sense as your vision turns white. And it stays that way for a long time, blinding you until ecstasy is swimming in your blood. And when you come down from the high, all that you can think is how much you missed him.

“Kook,” you breathe out.

“Baby…”

He puts the camera away, and then bends to press a kiss on your lips. It’s soft, and you grab his face to hold him in place, not even wincing as a bead of his sweat rolls on your cheek. You kiss him with a heart heavy with emotions, trying to show him that you’re never going to leave again. When he pulls away, you notice his teary gaze.

“Can we be together again?” he asks, and you watch in horror as a tear rolls on his cheek. You sit up, drying it with your thumb.

And you don’t care if it was too quick. Don’t care that there’s a high chance it won’t last. You still answer, “Yes, Kook. Yes we can.”

He smiles, nodding his head. “Let’s take a shower. I want to hold you tonight.”

You want to cry from the statement, want to tell him that you wish he could hold you forever, but the words get lodged in your throat. Instead, you follow him as he gets up, interlacing your fingers with his as he leads you to the bathroom, uncaring that his seed is rolling down your inner thighs.

He turns the shower on, and soon enough you’re standing under the hot water. He watches you carefully, presses a kiss on your forehead when you stand in front of him. You wrap your arms around his waist, holding him as close as you physically can. Even then it’s not enough – you want him under your skin, or to be under his.

You don’t think you’d survive being parted from him again. Maybe that’s why you let him fuck you again when you return to his room, slower this time, lips entwined in a never-ending embrace. Love flows between you and him, and it’s etched in the way your bodies move together, in the way you’ve been molded perfectly for him, and him for you.

You wonder if outside, the stars are shining. And you’re struck thinking that tonight, tonight they’ve aligned for you and him again, the universe agreeing for this second chance between you and him.

So you hold him close, and pray that this time around, forever is waiting for you.

Saturday, September 9th

Jungkook wakes up slowly. Softly, the same way waves hit the shore at low tide. He’s unusually warm, and he frowns as he shifts, trying to turn on his side. Then, he realizes his arm is stuck under something. His very dead arm, and he cracks an eye open.

That’s when he remembers that it’s you. You’re the one sleeping next to him, mouth slightly agape as you breathe softly. You’re also the one crushing his arm, and he tentatively clenches and unclenches his fist to try to get the blood circulation back on track. It doesn’t really work, so then he stops, figuring he’s going to have to make you move somehow.

But you look peaceful, in the light of the rising sun. Serene, like there’s never been anything wrong in this world. This morning, Jungkook wants to believe it. Wants to believe that happiness is all he’s ever known – that accidents, heartbreak and pain are all constructs of his imagination.

He’s too realistic for that. Or perhaps the breakup has made him pessimistic. Because the peace of the moment doesn’t really linger, and he’s stuck reliving the moment you left, that night in May. Stuck reliving the wait for you to come back, only you never did.

Or maybe you did, months later. Maybe you really are back, and this time you’ll stay.

You mumble something in your sleep, startling him. It takes him a few seconds to realize you’re still deep asleep, but when you move he quickly does too, pulling his arm from under your head. You frown, lick your lips, and then your features smooth out as you return to your peaceful slumber.

He turns on his side, watching you carefully. He’s aware that watching you sleep is creepy, but he can’t help it. Not when his bed has been empty for months.

He stays like this for a while, unable to fall back asleep. Because, what if you’re gone when he wakes up again? He doesn’t want to risk it.

Unable to help himself, he gently brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. You sigh, and he’s afraid he’s woken you up. When a small smile appears on your lips, his heart skips a beat, yet you don’t show any other sign that you’re awake. He assumes you aren’t, and then decide to take a picture of this moment.

He feels like he’s going to need it. Like all the pictures he took yesterday – he was desperate to commit to memory as much of you as he possibly could. He feels bad – he said he’d give you a chance, he is giving you a chance, but some part of him is just waiting for it to blow up in his face.

Maybe if he expects it it will hurt less.

He carefully grabs his camera where he left it on his night table. He doesn’t dare take a look at the pictures you took yesterday, a little ashamed that he asked you to do that in the first place. Silently, he takes a picture of you, and then puts the camera away.

Only, the reminder of the kind of pictures he’d find in the camera was enough to make his blood stir, and he picks it back up almost immediately.

And then there you are, in all your glory. Beautiful as ever, pussy filled to the brim with his cum, with his cock. Tits squeezed in your hands, in his, and his dick goes rock hard as blood leaves his head.

He wants you again, and he wants you now. He doesn’t care that it’s early morning, that he never liked waking up early. All he can do is put the camera down and slide closer to you. He pulls you back into his embrace, and you sigh softly as he wraps his arms around you.

Jungkook holds you tighter, nuzzling his face in your hair. The inebriating scent of your shampoo fills his nose, and his dick twitches in his underwear.

You hum, and he holds you tighter. “Morning,” he says, voice low and gravelly.

You make another sound that can pass as a hum, but you move against him, until you’ve wrapped an arm around his middle. There’s a moment where silence reigns again, and Jungkook is afraid you’ve fallen back asleep, but then you say, “Morning.”

He smiles. “Slept well?” he asks, kissing the top of your head.

He’s convinced you’re smiling against him as you say, “Want to sleep more.”

He whines, which earns him a chuckle from you that makes the wariness settle back in, even as his heart feels full in his chest.

It never felt full without you. Another reason why he needs to be ready for the blow, whenever it comes.

“I want you,” he admits. “Can’t sleep.”

You hum again, and your hand slides down his back. You squeeze his ass, and then move the hand back up. “You’re going to have to try.”

He whines, lips jutting out in a pout. “Boring.”

At that you laugh, pushing him slightly until you’re able to look him in the eye. He keeps the pout on, knowing that it always worked with you before.

“It’s not even morning,” you point out.

“The sun is up.”

You roll your eyes, though your lips are curved upwards, your gaze beaming as you hold his. “We fucked twice last night.”

He shrugs, rolling on his back so that he can stare up at the ceiling. He pulls at his piercing, the new one, and then turns his head towards you again. “Yeah, and?”

“Surely you don’t need to fuck right now,” you tease.

He frowns, looking away again. “Not my fault if I haven’t fucked since… May. Last weekend doesn’t count.”

“I’m pretty sure it does,” you say, laughing lightly. You prop yourself up on an elbow, blinking away the tiredness as you meet his gaze again. “And besides,” you pause, features turning confused as a crease appears between your brows. “Haven’t you fucked while we were…” you trail off, motioning vaguely around you.

And then something occurs to Jungkook. Something bad – maybe the explosion was closer than he expected it to be. Maybe he’s been standing in the radius of impact, waiting for the bomb to go off. And maybe your sleep deprived brain forgot the measure of protection, maybe it forgot he was standing there.

Because your eyes go round with fear, right as a drop of lead solidifies in Jungkook’s stomach.

“What?” he lets out.

What a stupid question to ask. He wants to beat himself up, because he knows.

He knows now that you’ve been with someone else. Why else would you be surprised that he hasn’t?

“I’m just saying…” you try, but it’s too late.

The bomb has gone off, and all that’s left is rumbles.

“Get out,” Jungkook says, and somehow it’s lacking bite. It’s lacking anger, lacking any signs that he cares for you.

It surprises even himself – doesn’t he care? Or is there nothing left of him in the aftermath of the explosion?

“Kook.”

“You’ve fucked someone else,” he states. When you don’t say anything, just watch him in horror, he sits up in bed. “Get out.”

“Come on,” you let out this time, following him up. You wrap yourself in the blanket, his blanket, and he wants to rip it from your body. Doesn’t want anything that’s his to be in contact with you anymore. “It didn’t mean anything,” you say, and you’re suddenly blinking back tears. “It was just one-time.”

“Frankly, I don’t want to know,” Jungkook says, and he really doesn’t. Doesn’t want to think about another man’s hand on you, or he’ll break.

He’s done breaking for you.

You don’t fight the tears, as you understand that the end really has come. At least that’s what he thinks happens – you just sit there, gaze heavy with tears until they fall, little droplets that carry a world of regret.

After all, the distance really was enough to break you up, wasn’t it?

Jungkook watches you, surprised that his heart is not clenching in his chest. No, he feels nothing as he watches you – he’s already cried enough for you.

“We were broken up,” you murmur, holding his gaze. “It’s not like I cheated.”

At that he laughs, shaking his head. If you can’t understand that he’s done, that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, then he’ll do it the harsh way.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he says. “I couldn’t be with someone else. I tried, and you were all I could think of. And…”

“You tried!” you interject. “You tried and you’re giving me shit for it?”

He gets up, trying to put distance between you and him, as if that’ll make the fight easier.

“I still chose not to do it,” he coldly states. “The girl was willing, she even kissed me and…”

“You kissed someone else?”

He laughs again, the absurdity of the situation dawning upon him. “Yeah? Tae set me up on a date, and the girl kissed me at the end and I told her I couldn’t. I didn’t fuck someone else.”

The way he’s throwing the blame at you feels selfish, especially as more tears join those already sliding down your cheeks.

“How is that fair, that you’re mad at me when you literally went on a date with someone else?” You pause, choking on a sob as you try to dry your cheeks. “Come on, Kook, it meant nothing.”

“Who did you fuck anyway?” he asks.

For a reason unknown, your tears stop. Entirely, there a moment and gone the next. “Why do you want to know?”

He doesn’t. He doesn’t fucking want to know, and he scoffs as he runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. “Get out,” he says again, still as stern and void of emotion.

“It was Harrison,” you still say. “I switched departments because I didn’t want to see him again after that.”

Now, there’s an inkling of pain tickling the carcass of his dead heart. As if there was still more, for him to feel, even after everything. As if pain is but a constant of his life now, and he thinks maybe it is.

“Your colleague?” he repeats, dumbfounded.

He’s met Harrison a couple of times, throughout your relationship. He’s always thought the guy was decent, but now something very ugly settles deep in his core. Something that tells him, ‘Hey, maybe he’s only ever wanted to fuck her, maybe he was waiting for his chance’.

The words are on a loop in his head, and he doesn’t even think he can see you anymore. All that he sees is Harrison with his hands on you, in his ever-too creative mind.

He startles as you put a hand on his arm. He shrugs your grip off, steps away from you. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Kook, I swear, please listen to me,” you beg, and now you’re crying again.

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to.” At that he shuts his eyes, runs a hand on his forehead and then through his hair. “I really don’t want to. I don’t want you to be here anymore.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” you say, an echo of something you said earlier. Though this time you say it differently, as if you too sensed the finality in Jungkook’s tone.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever want you to be around anymore. He was stupid to give you a chance after you broke his heart – you chose to break up, months ago. Why would it be different this time around?

“It doesn’t matter,” he tells you, as softly as he can. Because he knows you’ll break even more, and some dark, twisted part of him is satisfied that this time, this time he’s the one with all the power over you. “I’m done, Y/n.”

The words sound like thunder, in all their calmness. In all their softness – or maybe that was the sound of your heart breaking. Whatever it was, Jungkook really is done. He wants you gone, wants to be able to break in the quiet peace of his home.

A home you aren’t a part of anymore.

You nod. He expects you to fight more, but you nod. Choke out a sob, turn around, and start putting your clothes on. He figures he should dress too, so he does, picking up discarded items of clothing on the floor, not caring that they probably aren’t clean. All that he cares about is to get you out of his apartment, out of his sight.

And when you’re ready, he walks you to the front door. Lets you say goodbye to Bam, a crushing parallel to the time you’ve said goodbye in May. Bam still looks confused, and Jungkook feels bad, for a moment. Because you were the dog’s mother – he’s been looking for you ever since May. Jungkook can only hope that, this time around, Bam understands that it’s farewell.

When you straighten, you mutter an apology. Jungkook ignores it, holds your gaze expecting something to hurt, but he’s just empty. Empty and tired, and all he wants is to go back to sleep and to never wake up again.

“I can’t let you go,” you let out, voice stark with pain.

He shrugs. “You should have realized that in May.”

You close your eyes, and you look so fragile. Like glass – it never survives the shockwave of an explosion, doesn’t it?

“Please,” you beg. “Let me make it up to you.”

He laughs bitterly. “How? You’re going to go back in time and not get fucked by him? You’re going to go back in time and not break up?”

You look like you want to curse him, and he almost wants you to. He wants you to fight, wants you to make him feel something other than this emptiness. Instead, you shake even more, sobs racking through you.

“I wish I could.”

“Leave.”

“Jungkook, I swear,” you insist. “Let’s not lose each other over this.”

He wets his lips, tongue pushing in the inside of his cheek next. “We’ve lost each other already. It’s time we realize that we have.”

And that does it. You fall silent, defeat washing over you like a tsunami wave – there’s nothing left after its passage, and you look tired, sick, standing there right next to the door.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize again.

He shrugs. “It’s whatever. The past is the past.”

You look like you want to say something else, but somehow you remain silent. Somehow you look at him for a time, bloodshot eyes taking in his features as if it’s the last time you’ll ever see him again. He surprises himself by doing it too, mostly by instinct. Because right now, looking at you makes him want to be sick, but he knows that it won’t last.

He knows that the echo of pain in the distance is a good indicator that he still has it in him to break for you. That he’ll break for you forever, perhaps. Because he doesn’t think that there’s an end to you and him. It’s always going to be a cycle, and it’ll never end well.

“Goodbye, Jungkook,” you murmur.

He offers you a tight-lipped smile. “Goodbye.”

All he can do is hope you know it means farewell.

Thursday, October 5th

You used to love fall. The cooler weather, the long walks that smell like soil and fallen leaves and pumpkins. Nowadays, you hate fall.

You hate it because he loved it, and every reminder of him is poison to you. And though the season is still early, the days are getting shorter, and the longer the night, the more you drown in thoughts.

You haven’t slept in weeks. Have barely eaten too, and you’ve been off from work for a week. It’s allowed you to stay in, to just sit and try to breathe, hoping that it’ll help.

That it’ll fix something that’s never going to be fixed.

You’re lost. Lost in a town that used to be your home, lost in memories that used to be beauty brought to life – now, you’re seeing the ugliness in beauty. Because beauty is temporary, and like all temporary things in life it doesn’t last long enough. Beauty, and the ending temporality of it, leaves nothing when it goes but a bitter taste in mouth.

Perhaps that’s why you haven’t been able to eat properly.

You haven’t spoken to anyone, since the early morning he asked you to leave. Yet for some reason, you’ve felt the need to go outside today. To walk around, aimlessly perhaps, but you couldn’t stay inside a second longer. Too many tears were shed in your apartment, and you hoped the cool weather would help you feel better.

It does, a little. Because you feel like you’re breathing him in every time you inhale, and then carry him out on an exhale. You feel close to him, in a distant way that’s bound to only make you break harder tonight, but right now you can’t bring yourself to care. You do hate the reminders of him, but you need them. Viscerally, as he was the oxygen in your lungs for so long.

You’re going to have to learn how to live without him, one step at a time.

So you take another step, let your instinct carry you where you have to go. Maybe it knows how to heal.

The sun is descending in the sky, and the absence of clouds lead to a sea of azure you’d swim in if you could. You’d soar up high, so high that there isn’t oxygen anymore, and maybe then the pain would cease. You’d ride a sunray into the night, where you’d finally be able to fall into a well-deserved slumber.

As you look up, a tiny bird flies across the sky, a small speck of brown that goes so fast you think you imagine it. Like the years with him – they went by so quickly, the crushing wheel of time spinning down the slope towards the end.

Seven years ago, almost to the day, you kissed him on a hotel roof lost in Chicago, under clouds painted with fire. Who knew seven years later you’d be trying to live without him, clearly failing at it.

You sigh, pushing the thought away as you reach a crossing. You wait for the light to turn green, then follow the parallel white lines across the road. You avoid a pile of leaves, though a strong gust of wind makes some of them swirl around you, spinning like Mother Nature’s tiny dancers.

The foliage in the trees along the street is golden and red, bright colours that look out of place in the bleakness of your heart. You follow them, wonder if they know that they are about to die. The answer is one you’ll never have, and so you walk under the trees, the autumn breeze playing with your hair.

You don’t know where your steps have been carrying you. You’ve long gone past the places you usually go to, heading towards the middle of the city. The no man’s land between you and Jungkook, spread wide in a maze of streets you want to get lost in.

So you do. You press on, walk until the sun becomes a ball of melted gold nearing the horizon, and it’s on the corner of a street that a glint in a vitrine catches your eyes.

You eye the rings, crafted by an expert hand. Bands of gold, with diamonds and emeralds and gems you don’t know the name of. They look expensive, elegant, and you wonder if you would have had a ring on your finger one day, bought by him.

Recklessly, you walk into the shop, wishing to peruse its vitrines, hoping they’ll offer you dreams to survive the night. And you can almost see it – a ring on your finger, a proposal under a star-sprinkled sky, an intimate wedding for you and him. A dance, always and forever, of love shared like a secret in the night. Your secret, as the end would have one day come for you and him, an eternity of life later. You would have been old and grey, yet your love would have been young and eternal.

In this dream, he would have never taken the job overseas. You’d have stayed here, together, growing old by his side. You would have gotten more dogs, maybe even a cat, and you’d have lived happily ever after.

You wonder if, in a parallel universe to yours, the dream is unfolding. If parallel-universe you has the chance to experience it, and you think she does. You think she does, and the love is so strong it’s shaking through universes, picking you up like you’re just a leaf in an autumn wind.

Because why else, then, do you find yourself buying a gold band? Too big for you, masculine in its simplicity. Something you think he would have worn, had you been in that other universe.

You sit on a bench outside, after, as the last of the sunlight finally fades away, replaced by a blue dusk that matches your mood far better than the sun ever could. You have no idea where you are in the city, no will to brave the trek back home – you’ve been out for hours at this point.

You grab your phone, long forgotten in your purse. You haven’t touched it all day, and to your surprise you’ve received a couple of texts while you were walking, all by the same person.

[04:37 pm] Jimin: hey, this is going to sound crazy [04:37 pm] Jimin: and I’m really sorry to be telling u this [04:37 pm] Jimin: can u go check on JK? [04:38 pm] Jimin: he’s been unreachable for days and at this point I think he’ll only talk to u

You want to text him back to fuck off, to leave you alone, yet you hold on tighter to the velvety box in which the gold band hides. After all, even if you’ve received the texts hours ago, you’re realizing perhaps that that’s where your steps have been leading you anyway.

It’s stupid – he asked you to leave. Hasn’t contacted you once since then, and it’s like the wedding and the week after never happened. Like you’ve been broken up for months, like you barely know him anymore. He’s a stranger now, in your life, something you’d never thought he’d become someday.

And why would he talk to you? Why would he want you in his vicinity, when he made it clear as spring water that he was done, that the end had come to pass between you and him?

But if the end has come, why is that you’ve been feeling like you’re surrounded by him, today? Like you’ll always be – just a drop of water in the sea of him. Perhaps you are weak, to feel for him the way that you do, but seven years ago, the cataclysm that started you and him shook you, and its repercussions are still felt today. Will be felt until your dying breath, until all that’s left of you is stardust.

So you let your feet carry you, weightless in the way that you’re moving forward. Like you are once again but a leaf carried by the wind, and you can only hope that it’ll let you land in the right place.

You don’t really know how you make it to his building. Perhaps you were closer than you initially thought you were – all that you know is that you recognize the building, and that you sense his proximity through the walls.

Your heart reaches for him, longs for him in a way you can’t ignore anymore. Because you’ve been dead, without him. Just a shell of what you should be, of what you want to be. Because yes, you could learn to live without him. After everything that you’ve been through, you know well enough that you are strong enough to do it.

But you don’t want it. You want that dream you’ve found in the jewelry shop, want to make it possible. Want to prove that, no matter who would ever get close to you, he’ll always be the owner of your heart.

So you walk in. Reach the elevator, press on the call button. Then on the fourth floor, reminiscing the night you rode the elevator in his company, right before the fall. The new fall, a harshest one that made you reach those low levels of hell that living without him are consisted of.

You awaken when you are standing in front of his door. You think you can almost hear him inside, moving around through his home. You wonder if he can hear your heartbeat, where you’re standing. If he too can tell that you’re nearby once again, even though you shouldn’t have been.

Even though farewells have come to pass between you and him.

You don’t knock. You don’t have to. To your surprise, the door opens in front of you, slowly, before you’ve even managed to raise your arm to knock. Then his voice fills your ear, as he tells Bam to wait. You just stand there, dumbfounded, and then his eyes move from the floor to your face, and his mouth falls open.

Bam jumps on you, tail wagging wildly as you take a step back from the force of impact. You pet him on the head, pushing him back to the floor as you try to focus on Jungkook.

And then it dawns upon you that you have no clue what to tell him. You reckon you maybe should have prepared something in advance, because you’re wordless standing in front of him.

“Hey,” you eventually say, and you think the world has time to revolve around the sun three times before you manage to say something else. “How are you?”

His mouth slowly shuts, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. He pulls on Bam’s leash, tells the dog to sit, before he finally addresses you. Just your name, and the way he says it make it sound formal, like you’re just a stranger.

“What are you doing here?” he asks after another moment.

You look down at your hands. At the box you’re holding, and his eyes follow after you. “I was thinking of you, today,” you admit.

He sighs, and his eyes shut. “You were?”

You nod as he meets your gaze again. “When am I not?” Your comment doesn’t ask for a response, and he doesn’t offer you one either. “Jimin told me you’ve been unreachable.”

“Yeah,” he lets out. “I’ve been busy.”

“Oh.” You try to look behind him, as if you’ll find his reason to be busy there. “Can I talk to you?”

He says your name, this time like an apology. “I told you we were done.”

You shrug. “I know.” You gulp, fingers playing with the velvet box as if it’ll help ground you. “Can I walk Bam with you, then?”

He looks conflicted but he gives in. Says yes in a defeated way that rips your heart from your chest, in a way that makes you cling to the ring box even more, hoping that it’ll offer you salvation.

Being outside in the early fall evening with him feels like the Earth has finally returned to its normal axis. You don’t say anything, unable to find the words, and he remains silent too. You just enjoy his company, watching over Bam as he sniffs at plants before peeing on a pole.

Stars are twinkling in the sky up above. The breeze is still soft tonight, caressing your features in a gentle embrace that resembles the one he’d used to offer you, though it’s far colder than his. You spare a glance at him – he’s already looking, and he doesn’t look away as your gazes connect.

“What are you doing here?” he asks again.

You wet your lips. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

“How is that an explanation?” A shrug of your shoulders is all the answer he gets. He scoffs, shakes his head slightly, and then his head turns toward the door of his building. “I have hot chocolate inside,” he tells you, once again sounding defeated. “Do you want a cup?”

Turns out salvation wasn’t to be found in the velvet box you’re holding, but in the gentle angles of Jungkook’s features, behind his big doe eyes that will forever feel like home to you.

“I don’t want to intrude,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just wanted to… talk.”

“Then let’s talk over a cup of hot chocolate,” he says.

Which is what you do. You follow him in, feeling like you’re out of place in his life. Like he’s only giving this to you because of what you used to be to one another. Yet you don’t care. You’re slowly finding words, your brain shaping them into sentences to change an ending you can’t come to terms with.

Jungkook prepares the hot chocolate in silence, as you sit at his small dinner table. You play with Bam as he does so, a game of tug-of-war that you’re bound to lose as the dog is far stronger than you. Yet you still indulge, as you’ve missed Bam far more than you even thought possible.

The game is only interrupted when Jungkook rests a cup of steaming hot chocolate on the table next to you. You let Bam go, and the dog trots away to go play somewhere else, you can only assume.

“What did you want to talk about?”

You’ve left the ring box on the table. You’ve noticed Jungkook glancing at it repeatedly since you’ve put it there, and you worry at your bottom lip.

“I wanted to apologize again, for what it’s worth,” you answer. “I felt horrible when it happened, and just wanted to forget all about it.”

His features turn harsh, and his eyes drop into the cup of hot chocolate he’s nursing for himself. It reminds you of a café, of a conversation you had years ago, that led to you opening up to him, and to him opening up to you.

“I love you,” you continue. “I haven’t stopped loving you, and if I’d known that breaking up would hurt so much, I would’ve fought harder. I wish I had, and I wish I’d never let you go.”

“But you did…” he says when you remain silent for a few seconds.

“But I did. And I understand if you hate me for it. If you don’t want to ever see me again. But shit, you’re the only thing that I’ve been able to think about. Just you, and everything that could have been, had I been stronger.”

You grab the cup of hot chocolate, the warmth of it slowly seeping through your cold fingers. For the next few minutes, you don’t say anything, and neither does he. You just drink the hot chocolate, hoping you’ll find more words to say at the bottom of the cup.

“The distance was hard,” Jungkook eventually says. “I don’t blame you for wanting to end things over it.”

It surprises you. Makes your brain go entirely empty, and you just watch him with wide eyes for a few seconds.

He shrugs as you don’t say anything. “What?” He looks down, tongue darting out to play with his piercings. “I’ve been thinking about everything too.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “I over-reacted, when you told me you had sex with Harrison,” he admits.

Totally not expecting the conversation to take this turn, you’re stunned silent.

“I was shocked, and needed time to process,” he continues. “You were right, the fact that I went on a full-on date is just as bad, differently. We were broken up, we didn’t owe each other anything.”

As much as it pains you to agree, you still do, nodding your head. “We didn’t.”

He purses his lips, holds your gaze for a few seconds before glancing down at his cup. The silence is more comfortable now, as you think maybe, maybe then the dream you’ve dreamed about isn’t just a distant mirage of what could have once been. It’s foolish, but you can’t help it.

You think your heart is beating for the first time since you left that morning weeks ago.

“Did you want to speak about anything else?” he asks after he’s taken a long sip of his hot chocolate.

You take a deep breath, and somehow courage finds you on the long exhale. “I don’t want us to be over.”

You think you hear him gulp. “You don’t?”

Blinking away a few tears, you shake your head no. “I really don’t. I walked around all day today, and all I could think about was you. All I could think of was all the years between us, from when we met to a few weeks ago. And I don’t know, I refuse to accept that the end has come.”

“When does it come, then?” he asks.

“When the end comes?”

He nods.

“After years and years,” you say, allowing yourself to voice your dream. “Hopefully after we’ve had years to live together. After we’ve gotten married, and maybe even after we’ve had kids. Not that I want some.” You pause, and you look down at the table, unable to carry the weight of his gaze anymore. “Or maybe after we’ve had plenty of dogs, a cat or two. After we’ve had a house with a white picket fence, after we’ve danced under a thousand different night skies.” A tear rolls on your cheek, and you do nothing to stop it. “After we’ve travelled the world together, after we’ve had a chance to live, together.”

“And what happens after we’ve lived together?” he presses.

You shrug. “Then we die together. Then we turn into stardust and memories. I don’t care. As long as it’s with you, I don’t care what happens to me.”

Blurry behind the wall of tears in your eyes, you see Jungkook run a hand through his hair. “You don’t?”

“I don’t,” you echo. “I just want to get to love you.”

At that you do cry. And not just a little bit. Your heart longs and yearns for him, reaching in the space between you, trying to find a beat to sync with. You wipe your cheeks dry with trembling hands, before pressing the heel of your palms on your eyes, hoping to stop the cascade at the source.

“It’s a nice dream,” Jungkook says after the few minutes it takes you to collect yourself, your hands falling to the table.

“Is it?”

He nods. “Yeah. I don’t think we’d do a white picket fence though. I’ve always found cedar trees make a better fence.”

Something stirs inside of you, and you want to take a hold of him, and to never let go. “Yeah?”

He sits back in the chair, looks up to the ceiling as he blinks away the silver in his own gaze. You wonder if he’s crying because he saw you cry, as the sympathetic crier that he is, or because he shares the emotions in your heart.

“Where would you want to get married?” he asks then.

You push the velvet box towards him. “This is for you.”

He doesn’t acknowledge this, instead repeating the question.

“Somewhere in the countryside,” you answer. “Maybe the cottage where it all started.” You think about Julys of a world ago. “Under the night sky.”

“People don’t usually get married when it’s already dark.”

“Right,” you let out. “Then we’d have a ceremony for just us two when it’s dark outside.”

At that he grabs the box, opening it. You reckon he must have known what the content was, because he doesn’t say anything as he takes it out. As he tries to put it on his finger, though it doesn’t fit. It’s too tight, and it makes him chuckle, a sad sound that almost kills you on the spot.

“Do you think we’d dance under the stars?” he asks as he turns the gold band in his fingers, and light glimmers on it.

“Yes,” you say, nodding your head. “We always would.”

“So you came all the way here to tell me this?”

He meets your gaze again, for the first time in a while. He looks struck with emotion, much like you feel – the depths of his eyes are swirling with love and ache and yearning. You fall forward, fall in his eyes, trying to find home again.

“I came here to ask you to marry me,” you finally say, as it dawns upon you that, yes, your steps were leading you to this all along. “Jungkook, will you marry me?”

He smiles, a world of sadness etched in the sweet curve of his lips. “Can it be this easy?”

You shut your eyes. “It can. Please. Let’s not lose what we have again.”

“When would you like to get married?” he asks.

“Are you saying yes?”

He plays with his piercing, takes a deep breath as he chases tears away from his gaze but to no avail. You watch the two drops as they slowly roll down his face. “When would you like to get married?”

“In July,” you answer easily.

“Next year?”

You nod.

He holds your gaze for a few seconds more, then looks at the gold band again. His fist closes around it, slowly, as if he’ll be able to crush it in his hold. For what you don’t know. All that you know is that his features grow tortured, pained. It doesn’t last long – another deep breath later the expression is gone.

“I need to tell you something,” he says then, his voice so small you can barely hear it.

You prepare yourself. As well as you can, expecting the blow before it comes. You sense it – in the eternity it takes for him to speak again, you see every moment of you and him before this day, your life flashing before your eyes as if you’re about to die.

And then he says it a first time. At first you don’t even understand the words, as if he’s speaking a foreign language. So you let out, “What?”, hoping that it will change the cruelty that this world holds.

But nothing can, after the end has come. Nothing, especially not as he repeats the words, softly, their meaning tainting the dream you’ve just painted with him, until all that’s left of it is a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

“I’m permanently moving to South Korea.”

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I'm sorry for the angst, for the cliffhanger, for them to be so stubborn and for how life is working against them now. I hope you don't hate me too much after this :') let me know what you think of this chapter!

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javierpena-inatacvest · 7 months

Text

Chapter 13- There's No Place Like Home

Summary: 6 months ago, Javier Peña quite literally bumped into you and changed your life forever. 6 months later, Javi prepares to ask you to spend your forever with him.

Word Count: 13.2K (reasonable of me tbh)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap before u tap), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, massive breeding kink, one use of daddy (in reference to actually being a dad, but STILL), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, mentions of food/eating, Javi being a nervous wreck, so many surprises (hehehehehe), literally so much fluff and love and happiness AHHHHHHHHH

A/N: It's here!!! The moment we've all been waiting for since these two lovebirds first met 😭😭😭💖💖💖 I have no words, only loud screams into the abyss bc of how happy and in love these idiots are!!! Thank you to everyone that has been along on this ride, your love and support means more to me than you know 🥺🫶🏻 Also literally not that anyone cares, but I picked May 27th as just a random day when I first started writing, and the way I literally SCREAMED when I found out that Thanksgiving in 1997 fell on November 27th?!?! That, and when I first started, Javi was not proposing until the spring/summer OOPS 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

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November 27th, 1997.

6 months.

6 months since the day he quite literally bumped into you.

6 months since he had first laid eyes on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

6 months since the moment he already knew he was head over heels in love with you.

6 months of waiting to ask the most important question of his life.

Because tomorrow, exactly 6 months from the day he had met you, Javier Peña was going to ask you to marry him.

And he was a fucking nervous wreck.

It had killed Javi to wait this long. By conventional standards, 6 months wasn’t that long to know someone before you asked them to spend the rest of their life with you, but in all honesty, Javi would have proposed to you 3 months ago after he first got his mom’s ring from his dad. He had never been so sure of anything in his entire life- he wanted to spend forever with you. And now, after what felt like years of waiting, making sure that everything had fallen in place to give you the best proposal he could possibly imagine, the day was almost here.

Javi wanted everything to be perfect. He needed it to be. You were the most perfect person he had ever met, and to him, you deserved everything, and then some. He wasn’t nervous you were going to say no, or that he was second guessing his decision, Javi was a mess because there was nothing more he wanted than to give you a day you would never forget.

It was also going to now be a day Chucho Peña never forgot either. After everything had settled into place for Javi to finally start finalizing his plans, his poor dad had now become much more involved in planning a proposal than he ever thought he’d have to be. At this point, he was truly trying his best to not find it humorous how worked up his son had been over it, knowing that there was no way in the world you were going to be anything short of amazed, let alone say no.

“And you’re sure that you’ve got the-”

“Javier. This is probably the 14th time you have gone over the plan with me. Yes. I am sure I have everything you need. I have both lists you insisted I take, everyone knows where to be and what to do to help. Take a deep breath, hijo.” Chucho chuckled, taking a sip of his beer as he and Javi sat on the back porch of the Peña ranch, watching the sky slowly fade from bright yellows and pinks to faded blues as the sun dipped below the horizon.

“Okay. Sorry. I’m uh- Fuck, Pops, I’m nervous as hell.” Javi swallowed, running his thumb along the condensation of his can, anxiously drawing little circles in the water droplets.

“Really? I can’t tell.” Chucho joked, smirking to himself as he glanced over at his son, bouncing his leg against the chair he was sitting on. “Javier, what is there to be nervous about? It’s not like she’s going to say no.” Javi looked up at his Dad, the worn smile of his wrinkled face bringing him some relief from the nervous state he was in.

“No, I know. I just- I just want it to be perfect. I want it to be perfect for her. I’ve been thinking about this for so long and now it’s finally fucking here. She deserves everything, Pops. I love her so much.” Chucho reached over, patting his hand against Javi’s shoulder, gently squeezing his fingertips against the soft fabric of his flannel shirt.

“Javier, it will be perfect because you love her, and she loves you.” Chucho paused for a moment, quietly laughing to himself as he looked over at Javi. “Have I ever told you the story of how I proposed to your mamá?” A mischievous grin grew across Chucho’s face as Javi nodded, taking another swig of his drink.

“Yeah, you did it at the lake, right?”

“Yes. But that is the short version of the story, Mijo. I was so nervous when I proposed to your mother, that as we were walking up to the lake so I could get down on one knee and ask her to marry me, I tripped over my own feet and fell right to the ground, and the ring came out of my pocket. I didn’t put it in a box, because I was worried she would see, and so she had to help me find her engagement ring in the grass because I couldn’t find it. Until the day she died, she never let me live it down. But it is still one of my favorite memories of the two of us. It was still perfect. Javier, that girl would marry you if you got down on one knee and asked her in your living room. I have no doubt in my mind that tomorrow will be a day that she will never forget.”

“Fuck, guess I better add tripping over myself to the list of things I need to worry about, thanks, Dad.” The pair laughed, shaking their heads as Chucho gave Javi one last pat on the shoulder before he placed his hands on his knees, letting out a heavy grunt as he pushed himself up out of his chair.

“Cabrón (asshole). Now go, you should be spending time with your future esposa (wife) instead of your old man the night before your engagement. I promise, I have everything taken care of.” Javi followed his dad’s suit, setting down his beer before standing up, reaching out to wrap his arms around Chucho in a tight embrace.

“Thanks, Pops. For everything. Te amo.”

“Of course, mijo. Te amo mucho. I am so happy for you, Javier. She is such a wonderful woman. I am so glad she is going to be a part of our family. I know that your mamá is smiling down on you- She would have loved her so much, Javier. I love her, too. And now, I’m finally one step closer to mis nietos (my grandchildren).” Chucho playfully nudged Javi as he rolled his eyes, giving his son one last embrace as Javi headed out to his truck. As he turned over the ignition, Javi smiled to himself as he turned up the volume of the Queen’s Greatest Hits album you had picked out from your last drive.

“Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had. Been with you such a long time, You're my sunshine, and I want you to know that my feelings are true, I really love you. Oh, you're my best friend.”

Javi couldn’t help but let a stupidly wide grin spread across his cheeks as he listened to the lyrics of the track that had begun playing over the quiet crunch of the gravel under his truck tires as he backed out of the driveway to drive home. Because tomorrow? Tomorrow, Javier Peña was going to ask his best friend in the whole world, the woman he loved more than life itself, you, to be his wife.

Even though it was barely long enough for you to consider it to be a school “break”, you were glad to have today off to prep for your first Laredo Thanksgiving tomorrow. This would be the first time you would ever spend the holiday away from your childhood home, where your family had hosted every Thanksgiving for as long as you could remember. As much as you would have loved to fly back to go see everyone, plane tickets for the long weekend had been ridiculously expensive, and with just going to visit them a month ago for your cousin’s wedding, and future plans to go back to Chicago over Christmas break, your parents had been insistent on the fact that it was okay that you weren’t going to be able to make it home for Thanksgiving. While of course, you had been heartbroken you would have to miss seeing your family, from the moment Chucho found out you were Texas bound for the holiday, he was quick to make sure you felt nothing short of absolutely included in celebrating with the Peñas, even if it was just you, Javi and Chucho.

Javi still had to work on your day off, so you had spent your free time catching up on chores around the house, taking a well deserved nap and now, you were working on the apple pie you insisted to Chucho bring for the celebration tomorrow, as much as he had tried to convince you that you didn’t need to bring anything.

Somewhere along the lines of your childhood, it had become a Wednesday before Thanksgiving tradition that your family would watch The Wizard of Oz with your siblings before going to bed (although now as an adult, you had a feeling your parents put it on for you and your brothers so they could get the house ready without the four of you doing any more damage), so it only felt right that you put in on to watch as you waited for your pies to cook in the oven and Javi to get home. You shuffled through your VHS collection under the TV, rummaging around until you pulled out the worn tape, pushing it into the VHS player. After the movie had begun to play, you turned back around, letting out a defeated sigh at the current state of your kitchen.

As much as you loved baking, it always seemed to feel like a bomb had gone off by the time you were done as you looked around to see bowls, cutting boards and rolling pins in disarray on your counters. You grimaced to yourself looking around at the mess you had made, rolling up the sleeves of Javi’s oversized Texas A&M sweatshirt you had thrown on after you had woken up from your nap. With the way you had set up your apartment when you moved in, you were able to get a good view of your TV from the kitchen, cranking up the volume on your remote so you could listen and quote along to the movie as you worked on trying your best to clean up before Javi came home to your baking tornado.

At this point, you had seen the Wizard of Oz enough to quote it from front to back, especially as you and your brothers very early on in life had easily determined who got to be each part when you watched together. By default, because you were the only girl, your brothers told you that you had to be Dorthy, which you didn’t mind because you got the main part and to have Todo (Although your favorite family dog, Otis, an overweight yellow lab, wasn’t very pleased about having to be a part of you and your brothers yearly production). Charlie was always the Tin Man, being the oldest and most empathetic out of the rest of your brothers, David was Courage the Cowardly Lion, claiming lions were cool animals and that he was the bravest of your siblings, much to your disagreement, leaving Patrick as the Scarecrow, you and your brothers giving him the title of the smartest idiot you’d ever meet. After finishing washing the dishes, you had moved on to wiping down the counters, pausing and smiling to yourself as you heard the start to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” playing from the TV. You couldn’t help yourself as you began to sing along, swaying back and forth as you lazily wiped up your mess. You were so caught up in singing and dancing to yourself that you hadn’t even heard Javi open the door behind you.

Javi had quickly come to find out after moving in with you that not only coming home to you, but coming home to find you singing along to whatever CD you had playing as you meandered through the apartment, completely oblivious to his presence, was one his favorite things. There were times he could hear your voice as he went to unlock the door, making sure to open it extra quietly so he could stand in the doorway for a few moments, taking in the warmth and joy that radiated from you as you were lost in your own world. He soaked in every moment, watching every sway of your hip and shake of your head until you realized that he was home, making him just as happy for the big hug and kiss he got from you and your excited giggles as you greeted him.

He couldn’t quite make out what you had been signing as he carefully turned his key in the lock, gently closing the door behind him, grinning at the image of you dressed head to toe in his sweatshirt and sweatpants, messy bun plopped on your head as you bent over the counter, resting your elbow on the hard surface with your head propped up on your chin.

“Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why can’t I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why oh why can’t I?”

Quietly setting down his bag and keys, Javi snuck his way over to the kitchen loud enough for you not be completely startled by his presence, as the song came to an end, making you turn your head over your shoulder to see Javi coming behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist from the back he pressed his chest into your back, making you giggle as he planted quick, soft kisses along the exposed skin of your neck and shoulder.

“I could listen to you sing all day, Hermosa.” Javi rasped into your ear, playfully shaking you in his grasp. “Wizard of Oz?” He asked, gesturing towards the TV as the movie continued in the background.

“Really? You want me to sing Days of the Week for you? I didn’t get to sing it today since there was no school, I really need to get my fix.” You retorted, giving Javi a little nudge as he rolled his eyes.

“Please for the love of God, no.” The both of you laughed as you looked back at the TV, watching Todo escape from the back of Mrs. Gulch’s bike basket.

“My brothers and I would always watch it the night before Thanksgiving. Not really sure how the tradition started, but figured I’d throw it on. I can turn it off if you don’t wanna watch or put on something else.” You replied, reaching over for the remote.

“No, keep it on, Osita.” He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, arms still resting along your hips as he held you. “I can’t fuckin’ tell you the last time I’ve seen this movie. I’m gonna be real honest with you, I never really watched it that much as a kid because the flying monkeys scared the shit outta me.”

“Seriously? They’re not even that scary. But we can fast forward through the monkey parts, if you need to, ya big bab-HEY!” You shrieked as Javi suddenly turned you around in his grasp so you were chest to chest before scooping you up and plopping you down so you were sitting on the counter. He placed his hands outside your hips, engulfing your body and making you squirm and laugh as he peppered ticklish kisses across your neck and face, trying your best to swat back at him. “Javi stop! You know that tickles!” You squealed, finally grabbing his arms, wrestling with him until he had given up, pressing a sweet, tender kiss on your lips.

“Oh yeah? Who’s the big baby now?” He smirked, running his hands along your thighs as your legs dangled over the edge of the counter.

“Still you, because I’m not irrationally afraid of poorly made monkey costumes.” You pointed your finger at him, prodding at his chest.

“They’re fucking terrifying, Osita. You’re the worst, you know that?”

“Oh really? You still gonna tell me I’m the worst when I take these apple pies out of the oven?” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest as you nodded over to the stove.

“Fuck, I knew it smelled good in here. Does that mean I get to-”

“Don’t you dare even think about trying to sneak a piece of these pies before tomorrow, Javier Jesús Peña! These are for Thanksgiving, and even though there’s only the 3 of us, I still made two because I know if I put a pie down in front of you, you could probably eat the whole thing by yourself, and I am not making another pie after the disaster in this tiny kitchen that I just cleaned up.” You raised an eyebrow at Javi, trying to give him your best stern face, the two of you snickering at each other as you tried to scold him.

“Fine, fine. No pies.” Javi laughed, holding up his hands in defense. “Not even just a little-”

“Javi! No!” You shook your head, slapping his arm as he looked back over at the oven before looking back at you, a sly smirk spreading across his face. Grabbing at the meat of your thighs, he slotted himself in the empty space of your legs, spread open as you sat on the counter. His hands quickly slid up towards your waist, creeping under the hem of his sweatshirt you were wearing as he caged his chest against yours, nipping at your neck, his words hot and heavy on your skin. “Javi….” You moaned, tipping your head back as his kisses traveled down to your collarbone and hands tugged at the waistband of your sweatpants. “Javi, I’m gonna burn these pies, I don’t wanna have to make them again or explain to your dad that they’re burnt to a crisp because his son cannot keep his hands off me for more than 30 seconds. They only need to be in the oven for like-”

“10 more minutes?” Javi quickly cut you off, now beginning to slide your sweatpants down your thighs, firmly pressing his hands along the soft flesh of your now bare legs. “Oh, don’t worry, I saw the timer, Hermosa. Baby, you know I can take care of you in 10 minutes, now I just wanna see how many times I can get you off before the pies are done.”

“Seriously? You’re timing yourself? Are we placing bets on this too, while we’re at it? You are absolutely ridiculous, Javi, I swear.” You tried your best to roll your eyes, but as his hands crept down, palming the already wet patch that had been growing in your underwear, it was hard to pretend you were even annoyed in the slightest. Your breath hitched as he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, shuffling them down your legs as he placed his hands on the inside of your thighs, pushing them open to reveal the slick of your arousal that had already been pooling between them. Gently, he ran his fingers through your folds, barley grazing over your clit before dropping to his knees, coming face to face with your dripping heat.

“3.” He said, carefully kissing along the inside of your legs, making his way closer and closer to your entrance.

“3 what?” You replied, trying your best to stay focused on anything Javi was saying as his nose bumped against your throbbing bundle of nerves, practically feeling his smirk against your pussy as he darted his eyes up at you.

“3 times. I bet I can make you cum 3 times before the timer goes off.”

“You’re a fucking menace, Javier Peña, you know that right?” You sighed, gripping your hands against the edge of the counter, feeling your cunt clench, desperate for him to ease the ache between your legs.

“Only for you, Hermosa. Solo para ti (Only for you).” Javi looked up at you, shooting you a quick wink before licking a broad stroke against your clit, making you gasp and your jaw go slack as you moaned breathlessly. That was all it took before he dove in, a man on a mission to make you cum as many times as he could in the few minutes he had. Your legs draped over his broad shoulders, his fingertips squeezing into the flesh of your hips as his pace became rapid and intense, licking and sucking at your clit in a way that had you writing on the counter, tugging at the dark curls of his hair for any sort of relief.

“Javi, holy shit baby, oh fuck.” You whined, bucking your hips towards his face and arching your back as he circled around your bundle of nerves, your moans and whimpers only making him press his tongue firmer against you. Even after all this time, there was a part of you that still couldn’t believe how fast Javi could make you cum. He had memorized every twitch, every tug of his hair, every breathy whisper to know what made you fall apart under his touch, loving every second of watching you come undone for him. You could feel the tingling beginning to creep up your legs and into your stomach as Javi sucked at your clit, pulling his head closer to your soaking core, desperate for more. “Please don’t stop, Javi. Fuck baby, fuck, fuck, I- ahhhhhhhhh.” That was all it took before you could feel the waves of pleasure rushing through your body, your pussy throbbing as your orgasm flooded over you, your body trembling at Javi’s relentless pace as he still worked at you as you came.

“Fuck, you taste so sweet, hermosa. Sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever tasted.” Javi smirked, his mustache covered in your slick as he peeked over at the timer counting down on the stove. “7 minutes? Plenty of fucking time, Osita. You want my fingers, pretty girl?” He mewled, satisfied as he stared at the soaking wet mess between your legs, knowing you were still needy for more.

“Mhmmmmhhh. Please, Javi, please.” You whimpered, your hand still buried deep in the brown locks of his hair, pleading for relief as your cunt clenched around nothing, desperate to be filled.

“Such a good girl, asking so nicely.” He cooed, slowly pushing his two fingers into your already drenched core, making you gasp at the thickness now filling you, bumping against the soft spongy spot that made your toes curl and your jaw go slack. Already so worked up from just moments ago, as soon as Javi’s mouth was back on your throbbing clit, you could feel yourself beginning to clench around Javi’s hand, arousal pooling in your belly. His fingers slid easily in and out of your heat, his hand and mouth working at a persistent pace as he felt you squirm under him, knowing how close you were again.

Your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, moaning and panting incoherently as you tensed around the thickness of Javi’s digits, soaking his hand as he feverishly lapped up your slick, only removing his mouth after he knew you had come down from your second high to smirk up at you with a devilishly smug grin. He ran his free hand along your leg, grasping at your thigh as his other hand still slowly pulsed inside you, his fingers curling ever so slightly to the spot he knew would get him to his goal. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t even blame him for self-satisfied smile- Javi knew just as well as you that he knew how to work you in all the right ways to get you exactly where he wanted you. “Gimme one more just like this, Osita. C’mon, sweet girl. Wanna watch that pretty face when you cum. ” You nodded, looking down at the shine of your arousal covering his smirk, knowing that at this point, you were so worked up and overstimulated that just the fingers already inside of you really were all you needed to give him your last orgasm.

Javi’s fingers had already sunk so deep into your cunt, already so overly sensitive to every push and pull of his hand, that your grasp on the counter had become so tight, you could feel your knuckles turning white. You cried out his name as it fell from your lips, babbling incoherently as the third rush of pleasure crashed over you, gushing onto Javi’s hand as awed at your blissed out state.

“That’s it, baby. Let it all go, hermosa. Fuck, you look so good like this. Can’t believe you’re all fuckin’ mine. God, you’re so perfect.” Javi carefully pulsed his fingers a few more times as he felt you clench around him, making you hiss as he withdrew his hand now soaked in your slick. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he sucked his fingers clean before rising up off his knees, taking his time to plant soft kisses along your body before grabbing your face, pressing his lips against yours the taste of you still tangy on his tongue. It wasn’t long until the beep of the oven timer was ringing through your kitchen, making Javi’s smug smirk only grow wider. “See? Told you I could do it 3 times before the pies were done.”

“Jesus Christ…” You swatted at him, trying to catch your breath, the two of you laughing and shaking your heads as he helped you slide down off the counter before pulling your sweatpants back up over your legs, walking over towards the oven. “If you think this was gonna change my mind about you getting a piece tonight, it’s not.” You raised an eyebrow at him, throwing on an oven mitt before reaching in to pull out the pies, sweet and steaming as they rested on the counter.

“Not even just a-”

You turned around, trying your best to give him your most stern look without bursting into giggles, making Javi hold his hands up in defense, stopping mid-sentence. “You can have all the pie you want tomorrow, you hungry, horny menace.” You laughed, taking off your oven mitt and pointing it at him.

Tomorrow.

He couldn’t help but smile knowing that in less than 24 hours, tomorrow meant a lot more than just getting to eat the apple pies that had just come out of the oven.

Javi felt like a little boy on Christmas morning. Sleep was an incredibly inaccurate way to describe the anticipated tossing and turning he had done all night, his heart racing excitedly as he counted down the moments until he finally got down on one knee, and asked you to be his wife. It didn’t take much to get Javi out of bed bright and early, his adrenaline pumping through his veins as he planted a soft kiss on the tangled and sleepy waves of your hair as you laid face down, snoring into your pillow, before sneaking out of your room into the kitchen.

As you shifted over in bed, reaching for Javi to pull him closer to you in your half asleep state, you scrunched your face, blinking as you looked over to find an empty space beside you, the sheets of Javi’s of the mattress left in a tangled pile in his place. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you looked up to see the sunrise creeping through the cracks of your curtains, painting your bedroom walls in golden rays and silhouettes, blowing in the soft breeze from your cracked window. Reaching your arms over your head and letting out a big yawn, you crawled out of bed, shuffling across the carpet of your bedroom to your dresser to pull out another one of Javi’s sweatshirts before opening your door to hear the sounds of sizzling and popping coming from the kitchen. Creeping down the hallway, you peeked your head around the corner to see Javi and his messy, sleepy curls cooking away, working on what seemed to be like bacon and eggs, sitting next to an already completed giant pile of pancakes.

“Are we having breakfast for 12 this morning?” You giggled, your voice still soft and sleepy as you smiled at Javi, walking into the kitchen and hugging him from behind, snaking your arms around his waist, resting your body against his broad back. “You didn’t have to do all this, Jav. I didn’t know you were getting up to make breakfast this morning, I could have gotten up and helped.”

Javi set down his spatula, turning to face you, gently cupping your jaw as placed a soft kiss on your lips and forehead, squeezing you in a tight hug. “Good morning to you too, Hermosa. I know you didn’t. I wanted to surprise you and bring you breakfast in bed, but I guess I should have known better that you would be up before then.” He chuckled as you hoisted yourself up onto the counter, sitting next to the stack of pancakes you now noticed were separated by both blueberries and chocolate chips. He reached beside him, handing you the mug of coffee he had poured, gladly taking a generous sip before watching him finish up the rest of the scrambled eggs on the stove.

“Surprise Thanksgiving breakfast?” You laughed, tilting your head in confusion as you looked over at Javi before reaching down to grab a chocolate chip pancake, taking a bite and letting out a satisfied sigh.

Javi tried his best to keep calm and nonchalant, giving a little shrug as he scraped the eggs off the pan onto one of the empty plates, handing it over to you. “It’s uh- it’s your first Thanksgiving away from home, I don’t know- I know you love breakfast, I just wanted to make it special for you, I guess.”

“Well-” You paused, taking a big fork full of eggs, nodding your head as you chewed, “Oh my god these are good-” finally swallowing before finishing the rest of your thought, “You’re very sweet, and I am very, very thankful for you, and your delicious breakfast.” You grinned, leaning over to give Javi a kiss on the cheek on his scratchy, morning stubble as he dropped the rest of the eggs on to his plate, setting it to the side as he hooked his arms under your thighs, making you squeal as you draped his arms around your neck and locked your legs around the small of your back as he spun you around, peppering ticklish kisses against your soft skin.

“I’m so thankful for you too, Osita. Fuck, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that? I love you so goddamn much.” His sweet, brown eyes locked with yours as your hands ran through the soft curls of his hair before tracing along his cheek, your thumb rubbing soft circles along his jaw.

“I love you too, Jav. Someone’s feeling sappy this morning.” You prodded, giving him one last quick peck before unwrapping your legs and setting your feet back on the ground, grabbing your plate and heading over to the couch to turn on the TV. Javi looked at the ground sheepishly, feeling the heat creep through his flushed face.

You didn’t even know the fucking half of it.

Javi had spent the rest of the morning trying his best to stay as even keeled as possible, but with how fast his heart had been beating since the moment he had gotten out of bed, he was surprised you hadn’t asked if he was having a heart attack as you pressed your head against his chest, cuddling up together on the couch to watch the rest of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade after finishing your huge breakfast.

“Awh yes!” You grasped at Javi’s shirt, shaking the fist fulls of fabric in excitement as you stared at Santa’s sleigh now making its way across the TV screen. “Christmas time is finally here!” Javi shook his head, laughing to himself at the number of times you had already broughten up how excited you were for Christmas since the day November had started. “Are you gonna hate me if I start decorating and listening to Christmas music tomorrow?” You grimaced, twisting your head to look up at Javi.

“Jesus Christ, you weren’t kidding, huh? You really wanna start setting out Christmas shit tomorrow?”

“I will hold off until December 1st if I absolutely have to, but just know, each day that passes until then will kill me slowly.”

“And I’m the ridiculous one?”

“Pendejo.” You grumbled, giving him a nudge.

“You love me. That’s fine baby, I’m honestly impressed you held out this long.”

“Honestly, it’s only because I actually really do also like Thanksgiving, it deserves it's time to shine, too. Oh, speaking of which, I wanna call my family just to say hi really quick before we start getting ready to leave, is that okay?” You asked, pushing yourself up off the couch.

“Uh, yeah- yeah of course that’s fine, Hermosa.” He replied, seeming surprisingly flustered by your question. You obviously hadn’t seemed to notice, walking over to grab your phone off the receiver before punching in your house phone number, holding it up to your ear as the dial tone rang repeatedly. A confused look spread across your face as the ringing ended in your mom’s familiar voicemail, giving Javi a puzzled shrug as you left your message.

“Hi everyone, it’s me! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! I miss you guys! If you try and call and I don’t answer, we’re over at Javi’s dad’s- Javi says hi too. Okay, well if I don’t talk to you later, then tell David not to eat too much gravy so he doesn’t shit his pants again. Love you!” You pressed the red button, ending your call as you set the phone back down. “That’s so weird that no one answered, they should all be home right now.”

“I’m sure they’re fine, baby. They’re probably just busy. I’m sure you’ll talk to them later.” He smiled, giving your outstretched hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Yeah, you’re right. We should probably start getting ready, when did your dad want us over again?”

“He said to take our time, he’ll have food ready whenever we get over there.”

“Well I feel bad that he’s there waiting all by himself. I’m good to hop in the shower if you are?” You suggested, pulling him up to stand from the couch.

“Don’t worry about me for the shower, I’ll clean up the rest of breakfast and you can start getting ready, okay?” Javi rubbed his hand along your arm, reaching up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear.

“Jav, you made me breakfast, the least I can do is help clean-”

“Osita. I know you’d help me clean up. I want to, okay? I wanted to get up and make breakfast for you, I’m not gonna let you clean up my mess.”

“Fine, Mr. Stubborn. Thank you. You sure I can’t-”

“Go get your ass in the shower, hermosa.” Javi gestured towards the bathroom, giving your butt a quick smack before heading down the hallway into the bathroom.

In all honesty, cleaning the dishes was the last thing Javi had on his mind as he was finally able to get you into the bathroom. Once he heard the water on and the shower curtain open, he snuck his way into the bedroom, digging through his sock drawer to pull out the giant sock ball with your ring buried inside it. Pulling the velvet case out of the fabric, Javi carefully opened the box, smiling at the glimmer of the piece of shiny jewelry, picturing how perfect it would look finally wrapped around your finger. He slipped the case into one of the inside pockets of his jacket, squeezing his hand around the fabric, as if to make sure this was actually happening. Quietly, he grabbed his cell phone from his nightstand, dialing up Chucho, anxiously chewing at the inside of his lip as he waited for his dad to answer.

“Hola, hijo.” Chucho answered, his voice filled with excitement and glee.

“Hey, Pops. She just started getting ready so I’m guessing we’ll be there in like, an hour and a half?” His dad could practically hear Javi’s nerves and anxiety now beginning to build as the realization that he was hours away from proposing was finally starting to hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Perfect. Everything and everyone will be ready, don’t worry, Mijo.” Chucho chuckled, trying to ease his son’s tension.

“Okay.” Javi’s response was short and unassuring as he ran his free hand through his dark curls before resting his hand on his hip.

“Javier. Tiene planeada un día mas perfecto para ella. Así que respiremos profundamente, todo está yendo bien. A ella le encantaría. Casi tanto como elle te ama.” (Javier, you have planned the most perfect day for her. Take a deep breath, it will all be okay. She will love it. Almost as much as she loves you). Javi took a long inhale, his dad 's words comforting him as his exhale followed.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Claro, hijo (Of course, son). We will see you and your futura esposa (future wife) soon.”

“Te veré pronto. (I’ll see you soon) Bye.”

Hearing the water from your shower turn off, Javi rushed back into the kitchen, speed washing every dish and pan to make sure it looked like he had made good on his promise to clean up after himself while you were getting ready in the bathroom. With the dishwasher full and running, Javi made his way down the hall to see you standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wrapped in your towel, and starting to put on your makeup. He couldn’t help but gawk at you- Javi watching you get ready had become a staple in your relationship very early on, the two of you talking as Javi rested his hip on the counter, or sat on the lid of the toilet seat, smiling to himself, in awe of every beautiful part of you. But there was something about the way that Javi was staring at you right now as you peeked your head out of the bathroom that made your heart flutter. It wasn’t the I’d fuck you right now against the bathroom counter look that had become just as much of a staple as Javi watching you get ready, it wasn’t even the sweet, flirty look he’d give you when he just wanted to let you know how cute you were. The way Javi looked at you as you stood there in your fluffy towel, makeup half done and hair wet and tangled from the shower was a look that put butterflies in your stomach. He looked at you like you were the only person in the world. That he didn’t care if anyone else existed beside you. That you were the only person he ever wanted to look at like this.

“What’s that look for?” You blushed, setting down your mascara to stare back at him.

“You’re just- Fuck. You’re so beautiful, Osita. Everything about you. I’m so lucky.” Javi’s words were soft and gentle, his sweet brown eyes making you melt as they soaked in every inch of you.

“Does Thanksgiving always make you this sappy?” You giggled, biting down on your lip before turning back to the mirror. “Thanks, Jav. I hope you know I feel equally as lucky. Now go get your cute butt in the shower so we don’t have to make your dad wait any longer. I need to find the loosest fitting outfit I have so I can make room for when I eat my bodyweight in mashed potatoes.”

By the time Javi was finished getting ready, you were already out in the kitchen wrapping up the pies you had made last night to safely get to Chucho’s without any sneaky tampering from Javi.

“Well, you look handsome.” You smirked, watching Javi walk down the hallway in one of his dark washed pairs of tight jeans, paired with a tan button up and black jacket overtop of it. Javi’s jaw just about dropped as he watched you make your way out from around the counter, showing off the cute, burnt orange dress you had put on over your cream colored turtleneck.

“Me? Jesus Christ, look at you, Osita.” You giggled as you pressed up on your tiptoes, giving him a quick kiss as you draped your arms over his neck.

“Oh shhhh. Thank you, Jav. You ready to leave?” You smiled up at him, Javi praying you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was racing as he caged his chest against yours, thinking about the last drive he was ever about to make with you before you went from girlfriend to fiancé.

“I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Can I trust you to carry the other pie on the way down to the car without eating any of it?” You laughed, rolling your eyes as you reached over the counter to hand him the tin foil covered dessert.

“Yes, you can trust me. I think I left my phone in the bedroom, let me just go grab it really quick and then we can go, okay?” You nodded at him as he quickly made his way back to your room, cell phone already tucked away in his pants when he put on his jeans 15 minutes ago. He looked over his shoulder to check and make sure you hadn’t followed behind, pulling out the ring box one last time, taking a deep breath before giving it a little squeeze and stashing it back in his pocket.

It was really fucking happening.

As the two of you began your drive to what you assumed was Chucho’s, Javi turned up the volume of the CD he had picked out to play in the car, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac now bumping through the speakers. He reached over the center console, intertwining your fingers with his as he grabbed your hand, smiling over at you as the melodic intro began. “This song always makes me think of the first night I ever stayed over at your apartment. All you had to eat was fuckin’ mac and cheese.”

“Oh my God, I remember that. I was so embarrassed because I had nothing else to eat and I didn’t want you to think I was a crazy person who only ate like a 10 year old. God, that feels like forever ago.” Running your free hand over your face, the two of you laughed over the melodic soundtrack playing in the background, the memory of that night making your heart grow warm.

“I guess. Honestly, it still almost feels like it was yesterday. I just remember how fucking nervous I was the whole goddamn night.”

“With how many times we fucked that night, you really didn’t seem nervous.” You giggled, rubbing your thumb over the rough skin of his hand interlaced with yours.

“I was. I was so nervous I was gonna fuck something up, because I knew I was already so fucking in love with you, and it scared the shit out of me. No one else has ever made me feel like you do. I knew from that day on I never wanted to live without you.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I felt the exact same. We’ve come a long way since then, huh?” The two of you smiled at each other as you leaned your head over to rest on Javi’s shoulder, Javi pressing a tender kiss in your hair, the sweet and familiar smell of your shampoo flooding him with comfort, easing his nerves just a touch as changed course from his usual route to the ranch, making you perk back up in confusion.

“Since when do we go this way to your dad’s house? We’ve never gone this way before.” You questioned, a puzzled look spreading across your face.

“I know. Just trust me, okay?” He grinned softly, giving you a reassuring squeeze of his hand.

“Okay?” You replied wearily, giving Javi a suspicious look. “What the hell are you up to?”

“Osita. Just trust me.”

“Fine, I should know better than to ask questions at this point, I know you’re not gonna tell me anything. Do I get a hint?”

“No, you dork.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled, resting your head back against Javi as he drove the two of you down an unfamiliar path, the sounds of Fleetwood Mac filling the comfortable silence between you.

It wasn’t long until the road you were on started to become vaguely familiar, peeking out the window of the truck to try and piece together why your surroundings felt so recognizable. It wasn’t until you saw the white “For Sale” sign, now covered with “SOLD” in bright, red letters, peeking out of the tree lined driveway that you began to put two and two together.

“Wait… Isn’t this the place that we went to go see for Steve’s friend a couple weeks ago?” You asked, looking back at Javi as he slowed the speed of the truck, beginning to turn into the driveway.

“Mmmhhmm.” Javi nodded, his fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel.

“It- It looks like he must have bought it, so why are we back here? Are you sure he’s fine with us just like, showing up here?” You were absolutely stumped as to why you were back at the plot of land you had gone to check out for Steve’s friend after his Halloween party until you rounded the corner along the “For Sale” sign.

“Yeah, I think he’ll be okay with it.” Javi smirked, gazing over at you.

Then all of a sudden, it hit you like a ton of bricks.

The conversation you had overheard between Javi and Steve at the Halloween party.

The reason why he had asked you to come look at this place for Steve’s buddy.

Why “SOLD” was plastered over the for sale sign.

You could physically feel your jaw drop, hanging open so wide, you wouldn’t have been surprised if it had dropped through the floor of Javi’s truck. Your eyes grew as you looked over at Javi, your head darting back between him and the trees lining the driveway, practically frozen in shock.

“Javi…” You whispered, your breath shaky and trembling from the butterflies building in your stomach. His silence had never felt more comforting, simply smiling back at you before putting the truck into park, hopping out to make his way to the driver’s side, opening the door for you. You quickly wiped your palms against your dress, feeling how sweaty they had become from the nerves building inside you before sliding out of your seat, walking hand in hand with Javi the last few feet down the driveway before the trees opened to the open, grassy field hidden behind it, just as charming and beautiful as you remembered it.

You had been so focused on the view in front of you, you hadn’t even noticed Javi tugging your hand over towards the old oak tree on the side of the property, wrapped in twinkling string lights and pictures of the two of you. Under the tree, a big plaid blanket laid spread across the grass, covered in piles of cute pillows and surrounded by a few candles and vases of beautiful orange and red flowers resting on the ground. You felt your heart race, knots of anticipation building in your stomach as you quickly began to realize the “SOLD” sign wasn’t the only thing Javi was trying to surprise you with.

Holy fuck, he was going to propose to you, too.

You used every last brain cell in you to try and form anything close to a coherent sentence, but the best you could get out as the two of you reached the blanket under the towering tree was a jumbled mess of tangled words, spilling from your mouth. “Javi- What, are- Baby, is this- Javi, I, I- Holy shit.” Your hands trembled as you reached out for one of the pictures hung around the base of the tree- One Chucho must have taken one of the days the two of you were out on the ranch, Javi carrying you on his back as the two of you laughed at each other with stupid grins on your face. You could practically feel your heart beating out of your chest, tears already beginning to well behind your eyes as you looked up at Javi.

“That one’s always been one of my favorites. You look so happy, Osita.” He whispered, rubbing his hand along your back as the two of you stared at the photo, Javi pressing a soft kiss against your head, letting out a shaky exhale as he pulled away. Grabbing your hand, he turned towards you, the Adam’s apple of his throat bobbing as he swallowed, trying to compose himself before he spoke again. “All I ever want is for you to be happy, baby.”

You let out an audible gasp, covering your trembling hands over your mouth as you watched Javi lower himself down onto one knee, tears welling behind those sweet brown eyes as he smiled up at you with that familiar gaze you realized you would now never have to live without.

“Osita. Baby, you make me the happiest man in the world. I don’t think I ever truly understood what it felt like to be this happy until I met you. I couldn’t be more thankful that your clumsy ass bumped into me all those months ago, because there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since I’ve met you that my life hasn’t been better, because you’re in it. You’re everything I never knew I needed, and everything I never thought I deserved. You are the most beautiful, kind, and loving woman I’ve ever met. You’re also the most stubborn, headstrong, independent woman I have ever met, and I love every perfect part of you that makes you the person I feel head over heels in love with. From the moment I met you, I couldn’t imagine how I could spend the rest of my life without you. I wanna spend forever with you, Osita. I wanna give you the world. I wanna start our lives together here. I wanna build you a house, I wanna fill it with as many kids as you want, I wanna spend the rest of my life here with you, because if I have that, that’s all I’ll ever need. You’re all I’ll ever need.”

Javi’s hands shook as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the little velvet box that had been hidden inside, carefully opening the case to reveal the beautiful, oval cut diamond, nestled between little clusters of smaller stones, resting on top of a dainty and simple gold band. You could feel the tears streaming down your grinning cheeks, still trying to comprehend what was happening as Javi held the ring up towards you.

“Osita, I love you so much. Te amo más que a mi vida (I love you more than life itself). Baby, will you marry me?”

Javi could barely finish the question before you were jumping on him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could, sobbing into his shoulder as the two of you fell onto the blanket, bodies tangled in each other as you laid on top of him.

“Of course. Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot. I love you so much.”

You laughed through your tears, grabbing his face, your lips meeting in an electric moment that made everything else around you stand still. You could feel each other’s grins against your parted mouths, laying back down on top of Javi squeezing him as tightly as you could to try and ground yourself in the reality of what had just happened.

“I think I’m supposed to put the ring on your finger now, you dork.” He laughed, pushing you both to sit up as he grabbed the case that had landed next to him on the blanket, cautiously taking out the ring, his thumb rubbing over the knuckles of your outstretched hand as he slipped onto your finger, the both of you staring at it in awe.

“Javi… Baby, holy shit this is beautiful. How did you- When did you-”

“It was my mom’s.” He grinned, biting down on his lip as he watched the ring sparkle on your finger before looking back up at you, the tears now building in both your eyes again. “When uh- In the end, before she passed, she always told me if I ever found someone, I could have it. I kinda wrote it off because I didn’t think I’d ever find anyone, let alone find you. I know I never really asked you what you wanted or liked, but-”

“Javi. It’s perfect.” You cupped his cheeks, your face beaming with joy as you shook your head still in absolute shock. As if the ring on your finger wasn’t enough, you looked back out at the green grass swaying in the gentle breeze, reminded of the fact that not only did Javi want you to be his wife, but this man had just told you he was about to build you a fucking house. “You really bought this? We’re gonna build a house here? This is all ours?”

“It’s all ours, Hermosa. Whatever you want, baby, I’ll build it for you.” Javi's face lit up watching the excitement radiating from you, your eyes darting back between the ring on your finger and the beautiful plot of land in front of you, trying to take everything in.

“You’re being serious? Like actually? We’re really gonna build a house here?” You asked, still trying to process.

“Yes, seriously.” Javi nodded, smiling at you as you shook your head in disbelief, burying your head in your hands and squealing before shooting up, running over to the middle of the empty plot grass, spinning in a circle, imagining the possibilities of what was to come.

“So we can have a big kitchen? And huge windows so it’s always sunny inside? And a porch on the back deck that we can watch the sunset? And a-”

“Baby, we can have whatever you want.” Javi chuckled to himself as you stood there for a moment, taking it all in before running back over to him, once again, tackling him to the ground pressing frantic kisses against his lips.

“We can finally have a bedroom big enough for a king size bed? Where we can hang out all day? And watch the sunrise? And have plenty of space to fuck my husband?” You smirked, feeling Javi’s cock twitch against the denim of his jeans as you laid on top of him. Javi let out a low groan as you hand snaked between your bodies, reaching down to palm at the bulge straining against his zipper.

“Say it again.” He rasped, planting hot, wet kisses along your neck, nipping at your skin.

“My husband. You’re gonna be my husband, Javier Peña.”

Husband.

Oh fuck, did that do something to do him hearing you say that out loud.

Grabbing you by the hips, he quickly flipped you over, your back resting on the blanket as he hovered over you, trailing kisses down every inch of your body before his palms pushed up the hem of your dress, grasping at the meat of your thighs. He cupped his hand against your core, already feeling the wetness that had begun to pool in your underwear, carefully hooking his fingers under the waistband before sliding it down your legs.

“Again, baby. Say it again.” He mewled, running his fingers between your folds, collecting your arousal as his thumb circled around your clit, making your breath shake as you spoke again.

“Husband. Fuck, Javi, I’m gonna be your wife.”

Now that, that one really did something to him.

“You’re gonna be my fucking wife.” Javi’s tongue darted between his parted lips as he sunk his two fingers deep inside you, making you moan beneath him. “I’m gonna be your fucking husband. I’m gonna take such good care of you, Osita. I’ll give you everything. Anything you want, Hermosa, I’ll give it to you.” His touch had you writing, bucking your hips against his hand as he thumbed at your sensitive bundle of nerves. His fingers curved ever so slightly, pressing against the soft spongy spot that made your pussy throb even more intensely than it already was. Javi’s forehead rested against yours, your noses brushing against each other as your words escaped from the soft, smirking curve of your lips, thinking about Javi’s promise.

“Anything? You’re gonna give me a house, your last name…you gonna give me a baby, too? Make you a husband and a daddy?”

Holy shit, you were really trying to fucking kill him.

Just the thought of that alone was enough for Javi to let out an audible groan, biting down on his tongue and taking a deep breath to compose himself so that he didn’t bust right that second. “Jesus Christ…” he growled, quickly removing his fingers, already soaked with your juices, making you whimper at the rapid loss. Frantically, he undid his belt buckle, sliding his pants and boxers down his thighs to reveal his already hard cock, his tip red and leaking with precum. That was all it took before Javi was stroking himself, lining his tip up with your entrance and flushing his hips against yours, feeling his length bottom all the way out against your cervix, making you whine at his fullness inside you. You’d be lying if you said the idea alone hadn’t made you so wet and worked up, that even though Javi had barely spent any time working you open with his fingers, he still slid into your heat effortlessly.

“Fuckkkk meeee, Osita.” He grunted, already beginning to press into you at a rushed, sloppy pace. You had come to find out that while Javi had impressive stamina, there were times that the little things you said or did to him made him absolutely lose his mind. It would leave him so worked up and on edge, that his endurance flew out the window, barely standing a chance at lasting more than a few quick minutes buried inside you. Given your comment, the rate he was snapping his hips into yours, and that all too familiar lustful look in his eyes, you already knew he was a goner.

You grasped at fist fulls of his jacket, digging your fingers into the fabric as Javi punched deep into the spot that made your vision go white, feeling your cunt already beginning to clench around his cock as he rubbed his fingers frantically along your clit. “You want me to give you a baby, Osita? Shit- I’ll give you as many babies as you want. We’ll fill up every fucking room in this house. I’d fuck a baby into right now if I could. You’d like that, huh?” Javi hissed through gritted teeth, his strokes rapid and punishing as he punched against your g-spot, watching you whimper beneath him.

“Fuckkk, yes, Javi- ahhhh- Jesus, I want it so bad. I want everything with you, baby.”

“Fuck, Hermosa, I’m close- I can feel how close you are too, baby. So tight and wet. Give it to me, Osita. Want you to cum all over my cock before I fuck you full of me.” With a few more strokes, you could feel the tingle building at the base of your spine as your orgasm ripped through you, euphoria flooding through your veins across your body. Your moans and cries as you tightened around Javi’s dick had him moments away from coming undone just as fast as you had, his rambling becoming just as fast and boundless as his last few pumps inside of you.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be such a good wife- oh shit- such a good mom. I can’t until we can have a family to raise here- I can’t believe-ahhhh- I can’t believe your mine forever. Can’t believe I get to marry you, fuck a baby into you, holy shit, fuck, fuck- ohhhhhhh-” With one final thrust, Javi buried himself deep in your hilt, milking himself of every last drop of his spend, slumping into you, your chests rising and falling in unison as you both came down from your blissed out highs before pulling out from the wet mess between you.

“Well fuck me…” You giggled, running your hand over your face, smirking back up at Javi.

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Osita. I’d apologizing for fucking busting so quick, but goddamn, if you keep saying shit like that, I swear…” The two of you laughed, Javi picking up the hand covering your face, kissing the ring now wrapped around your finger before leaning down to meet your lips in a long, tender kiss.

“You liked that, huh?” You smirked up at him, biting down on your lip as he nipped at your ear, his voice low and raspy as his hot breath pressed against your skin.

“Baby, if you keep talking like that, I swear to God, I’m gonna find a way to beat your birth control and fuck a baby into you right this second.”

“I meannnnn, I wouldn’t be mad about it. You better stop saying shit before I run home and toss my birth control pills out the window, never to be seen again. No, no, this is bad, Jav! We aren’t even married yet, Jesus! We cannot be talking like this until we at least make that happen and we build this house. One step at a time.” You sighed, shaking your head and laughing to yourself as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear before swiping his thumb along your bottom lip.

“One step at a time.” He repeated, softly gazing into your eyes, his sweet chocolate brown stare making you melt beneath him. “I love you so fucking much, Osita.”

“Te amo hasta la luna y de regreso, Javier Peña.” (I love you to the moon and back). I still can’t believe you did all this for me. I would have been happy with anything, but a proposal and surprise house combination is pretty fuckin’ tough to beat. Thank you, Javi. For everything. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I honestly still can’t believe this, oh my God.”

“There’s still one more surprise.” Javi grinned, his comment making you sit up in shock.

“Javi. Seriously? How could there possibly be any more surprises? Did you get me a fucking unicorn too?”

“Last one, I promise.”

Javi grunted as he pushed himself up to stand, extending his arm down to you to help pull you towards him. You couldn't help but wrap your arms around him, squeezing your body against the warm familiar space of his, staring out into the blank canvas that would be yours and Javi’s home. The two of you stood there for a moment in silence, smiles stretched wide across your faces as you held each other in the crisp November breeze, feeling like the only two people in the world to exist. No one but you and him. You had Javier Peña forever, and you were never letting go.

As you had finally come to grips with the reality of what had just happened on the actual car ride over to the Peña ranch, you could feel your head spinning with questions as to how in the world Javi had managed to pull all of this off.

“Wait okay, so when did you get the ring? You hid it really well, I had no idea you even had it. Did you set all of this stuff up? When the hell did you go buy this beautiful piece of land we’re about to build a house on? How long have you been-”

“Jesus Hermosa, one at a time.” Javi chuckled, resting his hand on your thigh to try and slow your interrogation as he drove.

“Sorry, sorry. I still can’t believe you did all of this, I wanna know all the details now! Okay, the ring- I’ll start there. God, it’s so pretty.” You beamed, holding out your hand in front of you to stare at it.

“I got it from my dad after my birthday party. Believe me, I would have done this sooner, but all the stuff with buying the fucking land was a pain in my ass, and took way longer than I thought it was going to. I put the offer in right before we left for Chicago, and didn’t close on everything until like 2 weeks ago. ” Javi sighed, shaking his head.

“Yeah Jav, I’m SO upset you didn’t get this beautiful piece of land to build our dream house on and propose to me a few weeks sooner, I’m calling it all off.” You joked, your voice oozing with sarcasm as Javi rolled his eyes at you.

“Pendejo.”

“Hey, you’re the one who asked to marry me. When did you decide building a house was gonna be a part of this whole plan?” You asked, smirking over at Javi, giving him a little nudge across the center console.

“For a while now. I looked at a few houses after I got the ring, but nothing felt right. My dad built our house on the ranch when he and my mom got married, and after talking with him, it was the only thing that made sense. I want our house to be everything we want. Everything you want.” He smiled, tracing his thumb in soft circles along your leg.

“Javi, we could live in a cardboard box together and I would be happy. I don’t care as long as I’m with you. Although, I’m not mad about it.” The both of you laughed to yourselves, stupid grins on your faces. “So like, are you gonna build it? Not that I don’t trust your construction skills, but that seems like a lotta house for one man.”

“Jesus, no. My cousin Danny’s a contractor- I talked to him when I was thinking about doing all of this. He helped me find the place and already agreed to start building whenever we’re ready. I told him obviously we would help whenever we could, and my dad has already offered to help too- he’s about to be over there every day, because he’s convinced the sooner the house is built, the sooner he gets his grandkids.”

“I think he may be the most excited out of anyone.” You giggled, shaking your head. “So he obviously knows about all this? Did he help with setting everything up?”

“Yeah, he had some help too.” Javi smiled as the two of you pulled into the driveway of the Peña ranch, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the horizon, the golden rays spilling in through the windows of his truck as he shifted it into park. He quickly got out, hopping around to your side of the car to open your door, taking your hand and helping you down after planting a soft kiss on your lips.

The two of you walked hand in hand up to the house, giddy with excitement to finally talk with Chucho about everything Javi had surprised you with today, almost forgetting that the 3 of you still had Thanksgiving to celebrate on top of everything else. “Oh shit, the pies!” You exclaimed, getting ready to run back to the truck before Javi grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“I’ll go get them in a minute, let’s go inside, okay?” He insisted, dragging you back towards the house.

“Javi, it’ll take like 2 seconds, I-”

“Ostia. Just go inside, okay?”

“Fine, fine!” You laughed, reaching your hand down to twist open the doorknob, looking up at Javi’s boyish grin. “I just don’t understand why-”

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, THEY’RE HERE! AHHHHHHH HONEY!”

You stood there for a moment, wondering who the hell was screeching at the top of their lungs, ambushing you in a hug that felt more like a death grip than anything else. It took a second before you processed the all too familiar voice and arms wrapped around your body, making your heart race and tears begin to fall down your face.

“Wait, wha- Wait Mom?! What are you-”

“Oh sweetheart, oh my God! BOYS! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE! COME CONGRATULATE YOUR SISTER.” Your Mom shouted over your shoulder, still squeezing you in her arms, shaking you frantically. “JAVI, HONEY, AH WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” Your mom shrieked, pulling Javi in for just as tight of a hug as the one you had just gotten a few seconds earlier before turning back to you, squeezing you again.

“Wait, everyone- Mom, what the fuck? What are you- wait, what are you all doing here?” Finally beginning to come to, you pulled away from your mom to see not only Chucho, but your dad, brothers, and nieces all smiling back at your awestruck face.

“Language honey, Jesus, just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you get to swear at your mom.” She swatted at you, rolling her eyes.

You took another step back as your eyes darted between Javi and your family, your jaw hanging open in absolute shock. “But when did you- how did- Wait, what is happening?” You ran your hands through your hair, head swiveling back and forth, looking for someone to explain how the hell your family had ended up here, at the Peña Ranch in Laredo, Texas.

Shuffling up behind your mom, your dad greeted you, pulling you in for a quick hug and little noogie on your arm before doing the same to Javi, standing between the two of you as he spoke. “Once this kid knew when he was gonna propose, he wanted to find a way for us to be there. He knew how much you didn’t wanna miss Thanksgiving, which I don’t fucking understand, I thought you were gettin’ a get outta jail free card from these idiots,” He gestured over at Charlie and David, shrugging in agreement before turning back to you, “Javi asked if we wanted to come down here for Thanksgiving so we could celebrate it and spend it with you. You found a good one, kiddo.”

“Congrats, asshat. If there’s hope for you, then there’s hope for us all, isn’t there?” David snickered, giving you a playful punch before patting you on the back for a hug.

“To say there’s hope for you is generous.” You smirked at David, elbowing him back as Olivia squealed, running up to you with her arms outstretched, her patience running out as she waited for the grownups to finish talking.

“AUNTIE BEAR!”

“Cutie patootie!” You shrieked back, picking her up and spinning her around.

“Auntie Bear, did Mr. Javi do the surprise? Did you know that Mr. Chucho has cows?! And horses!? I got to go pet one and Brianna did too, but she was scared and cried, but I didn’t ‘cause I’m really brave!” Olivia beamed, giggling as you gave her one last twirl as you set her back down.

“You got to go see the animals? Aren’t they so cute? Yes, Mr. Javi did the surprise, it was a really good one.” You smiled back at Javi, tears welling in your eyes, wondering how your heart could feel any fuller.

“This niñita y su hermana (little girl and her sister) took very good care of the animals this afternoon. Gracias, peque (thanks, little one).” Chucho grinned, reaching down to give Olivia a gentle high five as she bounced in excitement before looking back up at you. “Oh mija. I am so happy for you both. Your family is a hoot, I will tell you that. I see where you get your spunk from.” All of you laughed as you wrapped your arms around Chucho.

“Mr. Peña, that’s a very nice way of calling us the biggest bunch of annoying idiots you’ve ever met, so thank you.” Charlie remarked, making everyone laugh equally as hard as he leaned against you, holding your other niece, Brianna as he ruffled your hair. “I’m so happy for you, Cubby. Natalie says she wishes she could be here, but with the baby, she couldn’t make it out.”

“I’d ask if she was mad, but considering you got these two little monsters and yourself out of her hair, I’m guessing she’s kind of relieved. Tell her we’re excited to meet baby Lucas at Christmas. Thank you, Charlie.”

Now that you had finally said hello to everyone, you turned back around to look at Javi, the look on his face only slightly smug as he winked at you, shaking your head back at him in disbelief. “You are absolutely insane, you know that?” You tried to laugh through your tears, caging your chest against Javi’s as you hugged him, wondering how in the world you had ended up so goddamn lucky. “Thank you, Javi. This is- I can’t- I don’t even know what to say. I love you so much.” Javi reached down, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face as he cupped his hand around your jaw, smiling out at your family before back down at you.

“I told you, Osita. You deserve everything. I’m glad I get to spend forever trying to give it to you. I love you too.” He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips, quickly interrupted by the sounds of Olivia’s disgust at the two of you.

“Ew, that’s really gross. Auntie Bear, do you have to kiss him now because you’re getting married? Maybe just do that when I’m not here.” She grimaced, covering her eyes and sticking out her tongue. Your family burst out in laughter, only to be interrupted once again by your mom’s excited screams.

“MARRIED! Honey, you’re getting MARRIED!”

“Jesus, Pam! I’m right here! You’re gonna blow out my fuckin’ ear drum!” Your dad winced, covering the sides of his head with his hands.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re getting married.” You replied to your mom, without breaking your stare up at Javi, your cheeks warm and full from the grins between them.

The rest of the night was spent full of joy and laughter as all of you gathered in the Peña’s kitchen for Chucho’s Thanksgiving feast, telling your family all about the surprises of your day, listening to them explain their antics of getting from Chicago to Laredo, how they had spent the day with Chucho at the ranch after helping set up for the proposal, and stories of Thanksgivings past, and the sweet memories of the family you’d wished could have been here to celebrate. The hours passed by like seconds as you ate more than your fair share of food, (excluding the pie you had made, considering Javi and your brothers practically inhaled it from the moment it was set out on the table), and laughing harder than ever as your family taught Javi and Chucho how to play “Chaos Cutlery”- your family’s version of the game “Spoons”, which wasn’t really that much different besides the element of danger involved with your competitive-ass siblings.

You truly didn’t think that your heart could get any fuller as you looked around to see all of the people you loved more than anyone in the world all gathered in once place, celebrating the happiest day you had ever had with the man you were going to get to call yours for the rest of your life. As the hours of the night grew later and later, you found yourself fighting off the sleep from your amazing, but exhausting day, not wanting the dream that had been today to come to an end. It wasn’t until Javi noticed you softly snoring against his shoulder as you were sitting on the couch, realizing the only ones left awake were him and your brothers, deep in an argument about who would win in a fight between 100,000 chickens and 10 dinosaurs, that he realized that it was probably time to get you home.

“Hermosa.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Baby, let’s get you home, okay?”

“I’m awake. I don’t want today to be done.” You grumbled, half-asleep, eyes still closed shut as you curled into Javi’s lap.

“Osita, it’s 1 in the morning, everyone else is asleep too. Your family’s here all weekend, baby, I promise we’ll get to spend lots of time with them, we gotta get you home before I fall asleep, too. C’mon.” He chuckled to himself, watching you scrunch your face, trying to wake yourself up as he helped to pull you off the couch. Javi tried his best to say goodbye to his dad to let him know you were leaving, even though he had already been sound asleep for the past hour in his chair with Olivia and Brianna on either side of him, the trio up well past their usual bedtime. Javi's heart fluttered at the sight, watching the fabric of your families lives intertwining to become one, fitting perfectly together. After you and your family said your half coherent goodbyes for the night, Javi helped hoist you up into the truck before the two of you headed back to the apartment.

Curling over the center console to rest your head against Javi’s shoulder, a sleepy smile spread across your face tangling your hand in his as he traced gentle circles with his thumb along your skin.

“Javi…” You mumbled, your eyelids heavy with sleep as your blinks grew slower and slower.

“Yeah, baby?”

“This was the best day I think I’ve ever had in my entire life. No, I know it was the best day I’ve ever had in my entire life. I can’t believe you wanna marry me. And build me a house. And that you made sure my family was here to celebrate. I love you so much, Javi. Thank you for everything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Today’s the best day I’ve ever had too, Osita.” He grinned, pulling your intertwined hand with his up to his mouth, pressing a tender kiss on your knuckles. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you too, Hermosa. I can’t imagine it without you. Te amo con todo mi corazón (I love you with all of my heart).” Javi let out a content sigh, pausing for a moment, waiting for response. It didn’t take him long to realize that you were already back asleep, the sweet sounds of your snores against his sleeve making him laugh to himself. “Dulces sueños, mi amor. Soy el hombre más afortunado del mundo. (Sweet dreams, my love. I am the luckiest man in the whole world.)

As Javi spent the rest of the drive with you propped up against his arm, he couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful gold band wrapped around your finger, resting in his lap.

Before you, Javier Peña didn’t really have much to live for. He didn’t think he’d deserved to. He was tired and broken, disappointed in the man that he had become. Now, you had become his everything. His light, his hope, the thing that made life worth living. You had taken his broken and battered pieces and put him back together. You had made him whole again. On a Wednesday in May, Javier Peña had fallen head over heels with you, the woman who would forever change his life for the better. And on Thursday in late November, the woman who had forever changed him, was now his forever, too.

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd

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writefightandflightclub · 3 months

Text

Ride or Die (Santiago “Pope” Garcia x fem!reader): Chapter One (of 11 - COMPLETED SERIES)

Series summary: Together, you and Santiago have been “soldiers” then “friends” then “lovers”; but will you ever figure out what comes next, especially when Santiago can’t (or won’t) stop running?

Genres: a LOT of angst, some smut, best friends to… lovers?

Warnings: see collated series warnings here. Please note this series is NSFW / 18+ and minors or ageless blocks interacting will be blocked.

Series info: this is a COMPLETED SERIES. All chapters are written. Posting schedule is here.

Author’s note: (If you read the original one-shot this slightly amended chapter will already be familiar to you, so I'm sorry for the initial lack of surprises. I promise though - there are many surprises from here!) Some of you may remember that this all started as an angsty smutty one shot, way back in 2020. Let’s just say, some of you really liked that story (thank you!) and a “part 2” was requested so that I could “fix” things for these two idiots (affectionate). Well, I guess part 2 took a while, because now it’s four years later, and I have written 87,000 words (ish). Oops. So, as you might infer through the accidental novel length spew, this series means rather a lot to me. It’s the longest piece of writing I have ever seen through to completion, and so, whilst it’s definitely not perfect, I am pretty proud of it! I hope with all of my little orange heart that you enjoy it, and if you do, any RBs, comments - or anything at all really - would mean the world. These two have lived in my head for four years and I will miss them, but I'm so excited to finally share them with you all! Honestly, I could say lots more, but for now I'll leave you with one more thought, which sums up this whole experience quite frankly: the characters made me do it.

Finally, I have to thank you all, lovely pocket friends, for being so supportive and encouraging the whole way. It means so much to me! Especially, I GOTTA thank the fabulous @astroboots, who has hyped this project from literally before the beginning and been so encouraging, and @foxilayde, who is an incredible cheerleader for all my hare-brained endeavours. ILY!

Word count: 9.7k for this part (it’s broken down into 3 sections, if you prefer to read in stints!).

Tag list info: will reblog separately tagging those on taglist. You can request to be added to the taglist if you are 18+ (or removed!). Send me an ask, please, so I can keep track :)

You love your squad. You really do. However, if you are being honest, it can be tough being treated as “one of the boys”. You know it’s a good thing that they don’t treat you any differently - but sometimes, you have to admit you want to be seen as a woman first and a soldier second. Especially on evenings like this when testosterone and drinks are flowing freely. Evenings when you have an ache in between your thighs that, in your case, calls out for a man. Okay - calls out for Santiago “Pope” Garcia, to be specific.

“I hope you can handle something stiff going down your throat,” you announce crudely to the group, arriving to whoops of appreciation as you slide the tray of hard liquor and beers on to the lofty bar table.

The squad is celebrating a successful bust, and the relief and revelry in the air after the months-long operation is palpable.

“Cheers to that!” Frankie winks with a dumbass grin, rubbing his palms together with glee. “You’re a saviour – Pope’s taking far too long.”

Will helpfully conveys the shots and beers around the table, glasses and bottles clinking and jovial smiles rippling through the group as a direct result. Ready for a cold one, you bring the rim of your beer to your lips for an immediate swig, condensation pooling on your fingers and making you realise how close the air is in this buzzing but dingy place.

“Bottoms-up, boys,” Tom directs as he passes you a shot, earning a good-natured side-eye from you. “And bottoms-eth up-eth, Mi’ Lady,” he adds, along with a regal hand wave to match his faux Olde English tone.

“To busts!” you ‘cheers’, clinking your glasses in the centre of the table. The innuendo earns a throaty, gruff chuckle from Frankie who bumps shoulders with you, inviting you to share in the camaraderie. You give-in with a broad smile, unable -as ever- to resist Frankie’s tittering.

“Oh, hang on,” Frankie says, flitting quickly to a now unoccupied bar stool at an adjacent table (seats are in short supply tonight) and dragging it over to you.

“This for me, Catfish? How gallant.”

He grins. He knows you hate gallant. “It’s actually for Pope and his creaky knees… but you may as well make use of it while he’s pre-occupied,” Frankie chortles. You sit gratefully, your decision to wear heels after months in your beloved combat boots feeling like a definite mistake.

Speaking of mistakes...

“You fucking seeing this?” Tom asks, nodding his head over towards your squad mate, apparently simultaneously in awe of and amused by his current interaction at the bar; the very reason the drinks had been failing to materialise.

Twisting on your perch, you follow his gaze towards Santiago, eyes boring into the back of his head and his wash of grizzled curls. Involuntarily, your eyes trail over his form, the midnight blue button-down taut over his muscled shoulders as he casually props himself against the bar, jeans snug over that impossibly shapely rump. He has the barmaid rapt, eating out of his hand, all batting eyelashes and tongue slack in her mouth. Abandoned, a tray of shots sits unnoticed in front of Santiago as he lingers in conversation with her. All you can do is watch as, next, she leans over the bar brazenly, letting her thick, dark mane cascade across her ample, showcased cleavage. You can’t see Santiago’s expression as he -respectfully, you’re sure- admires her, but you can imagine it.

Occasionally, you are on the receiving end of those expressions too.

Unfortunately, Santiago has a raw talent for making… connections. Besides off-shore bank managers and corrupt lawyers, that also inevitably extends to hook-ups. He is never short of distractions. Or, apparently, you never can hold his attention for long. When you do, though? When he does notice you, he makes you feel like you are the only woman in the world, his focus so intent and unrelenting you feel like he is viewing you through a sniper scope. Like the attention might end you.

You bristle thinking about his selective interest, the dull ache between your legs intensifying.

“Never mind that deserter. Let’s celebrate without him,” you encourage to a ripple of agreement. You toss your shot back in-time with the boys and screw-up your face, shuddering in response as the spirit burns down your throat. You stick your tongue out with a “bleuch” as the aftertaste lingers.

However, your distraction doesn’t work for long, as your comrades seem determined to continue gossiping about the object of your desire.

“How does he do it?” Tom asks in disbelief, with more than a side of jealousy. He’d always given off the vibe of envying Santiago, you’d thought. “We’re all good-looking guys, man. But that little shit’s rolling in it.”

“I don’t know what it is. He’s not even tall,” Will snickers, knowing that Santiago hates being teased about his height.

Frankie interjects. “MaybeFrankie interjects. “Maybe it’s the big dick energy.”

No comment.

You’ve certainly never had any complaints about his stature. He is large enough to feel sturdy and surrounding, and small enough that you can take control of him when the mood strikes you. Oh, and you’ve certainly never had any qualms about his big dick energy… or his big dick for that matter.

Frankie chuckles again at the good-natured teasing and bumps you with his elbow. You are grateful for his easy, infectious laughter, acting like an umbrella against the moody, Santiago-shaped storm cloud which threatens above your head.

“For real though,” Tom interjects, leaning forward over the table as if he’s sharing classified intel. “Has he been getting frisky with the informant again?” His eyes travel around the table, meeting each squad member’s gaze in turn. “I feel like he’s definitely got something going on there too. Tell me I’m seeing things.”

“Luci?” Will asks, then whistles in surprise at Tom’s accusation, his brows converging. You’re not sure if he’s surprised by Santiago’s potentially compromising choices, or impressed by his unparalleled ability to pull. “That sly dog.” Perhaps it’s a little of both.

You tense. Santiago getting involved with an informant. A beautiful informant. Sounds entirely plausible, although Santiago has neglected to tell you if it is true. Besides building connections, another skillset of Santiago’s is his uncanny aptitude for mixing business with pleasure. Realistically, he can do whatever the hell he wants with whomever he wants - it is no business of yours - but, in truth, you are tired. Tired of being the one he only picks up when he has no-one else. Tired of going unnoticed the rest of the time.

“Actually,” Frankie leans forward to drop this juicy titbit of gossip into the conversation. “Luci broke it off. Requested a new contact.” He taps the side of his nose as if to indicate that he has his sources too, trying to drum up some air of mystery. “Coincidence? I think not,” he adds, tipping his head towards the continued scene at the bar.

You stiffen then in cold realisation. That’s why. That’s why he was noticing you earlier tonight. It wasn’t that he finally saw you. It wasn’t you in this dress. It wasn’t you. Yet again, he’d simply run out of distractions.

“Huh,” Tom says, looking a little too pleased with Santiago’s misfortune, swilling the dregs of his beer around absent-mindedly. “Well. He doesn’t seem devastated. It took him all of two minutes to get back on the horse.”

“Come on. You know Santi famously doesn’t get attached,” you snipe, partially serving the sentiment up as a reminder to yourself.

Santiago does have a... reputation. Honestly, you have no problem with that. There is no shame in having casual sex, after all. So long as it is safe and consensual, what does it matter? You’ve even acted as Santi’s “wing-woman” on a number of occasions. It had never been a problem; that is… it hadn’t been a problem until he started having casual sex with you.

Santiago is loyal almost to a fault in many other areas of his life. He is abundantly loyal to you, and there is no doubt in your mind that Santiago sees you as a friend first. As a soldier second. You know he respects you deeply for your sharp-mind, your humour, your straight-talking, and your lethality in equal measure. And, you also know that Santiago desires you. Or, at least, he does when it suits him. When he is paying attention. These various roles never seem to converge, though. As a friend? You and Santiago go way back. As a soldier? You’ve been on his squad longer than anyone has, since decades before you all went freelance. As a lover, though? Well, that is new. And he can’t seem to reconcile this new role with the rest of the ways he knows you.

Yes. Sure. Sometimes, Santiago desires the soft parts of you. Sees you as something other than a friend or a soldier. But you wish he would notice all of you, all at once. He sees you in fragments, like shrapnel. You wish he would piece things together. You wish he would notice you consistently. Not only when you’ve been out in the field too long, spending days bunched into hot and confined spaces, too close for comfort. Not only when hails of bullets send him reeling, searching for any kind of foothold on feeling alive. Still, over and over, you let him. You let him dip you back, with urgency - on to a mattress or a roll-mat or simply down on to the jungle floor - to thrust himself into you.

Santiago “Pope” Garcia is the man you crave. He gives it to you good. He makes you feel like a woman. Of course, there is no one particular way to be or to feel like a woman. There are infinite ways. For you though, very specifically, it is simple. It feels like Santiago desiring the soft parts of you which lay secreted under your tactical gear and your tough façade. It feels like him kissing you, soft lips and abrasive stubble. Strong hands and that muscled body writhing in a mess of breath and flesh. In those moments, you are a soldier least of all. Free of any mission, you become unadulterated; reckless abandon. You cease to be clipped and tactical, precise and lethal, and instead you become a soft, fluid thing beneath him.

Every time you arrive back in the city though, distractions abound. Santiago apparently ceases to desire you. Notice you. You had wrongly believed that tonight felt different. Something about the cool but heady night air. The way he was looking at you in this dress during your walk to the bar to meet the rest of the group. The way his hand lingered on your back as he guided you over to the table. But it mustn’t have been so. It must have been wishful thinking, that’s all.

You’ve done an increasing amount of wishful thinking, lately, it seems.

Too much.

You sigh deeply. You don’t even realise you have zoned out from the group’s banter until Santiago arrives back with the tray of drinks -and no doubt one more phone number in his contacts- by which point, you are riled up enough to grab the shot of tequila right off the tray and down it without thinking, salt and lime be damned.

“Woah, cariño. Feeling spirited tonight? Not wanna wait for the rest of us?” His smile is broad and easy and annoying as hell and suddenly you are adrift.

“Nah, I’m done waiting, Santi,” you bite. He doesn’t catch the double-meaning in your words, because of course he doesn’t. Why would he?

Your skin flushes with instant heat as a result of his presence- definitely a recently acquired response. And so, you hastily dismiss your leather jacket, revealing a strappy, red, form-fitting dress beneath. Your appearance even earns a low whistle and murmur of approval from your buddies.

“Someone’s gonna get lucky in that cute little number,” Frankie says pointedly, even as he’s staring curiously at Santiago staring at you. Maybe he’s on to you two.

You smile, happy -as ever- to take a little flattery. Plus, you do find it hilarious to watch these guys squirm when they remember that you do, in fact, have a body concealed underneath all your tactical gear.

“Well I won’t get lucky if you chumps keep staring down every man who looks at me,” you complain, already having clocked the defensive perimeter which has formed around you, simply from the way they have positioned themselves.

The squad are protective of you, unnecessarily, and you simultaneously chide and love them for it.

“Big men protec’, chiquita,” Frankie teases, puffing out his biceps and chest like a gorilla. He says it knowing fine well you could take out any one of them if you wanted.

You hear the warm rumble of Santiago’s laugh next to you too, chiming in time with yours, his body closer than you’d realised as he dishes the remaining shots out. “Please!” he scoffs, casually slinging his arm around the back of your bar stool, the shot primed in his other hand. “You know damn well she doesn’t need protection!”

“She’s gonna need protection when she gets laid,” Will quips, causing Tom to almost snort beer out of his nose in amusement and Frankie to high-five him from across the table. You would scold him but you’re laughing too, even as you roll your eyes good-naturedly at their ‘bro’ humour.

You drop your head towards Santiago as the others continue snickering like a pack of hyenas, the alcohol clearly having gone to their heads already. That’s what they get for drinking on empty stomachs. You and Santiago’d had the foresight to hit up a first rate food truck on the route across town, like sensible people.

“Dance with me, Pope?” you ask, giving him a subtle yet seductive bat of your eyes.

“For the love of God, Pope. Leave some women for the rest of us,” Tom pleads -partially in jest, you’re sure- as Santiago curtly nods, not knowing quite what you’re up to but taking your hand anyway.

“Ok. I hear you. Let’s ditch these losers,” Santiago joshes, smiling as he gets a predictable rise out of his squad.

It isn’t so unusual for you two to dance together when you visit bars, so it doesn’t earn too much suspicion from the group (plus, you’re military - you two have been pretty damn good at hiding your hook-ups, covering your tracks). Dancing with you might undo the careful ground-work Santiago had laid with the barmaid just a moment ago, however. Even so, Santiago opts to follow you into the sweaty throng of people on the floor all the same, your fingers loosely twined with his as you lead him. You find a relatively private spot, away from the prying eyes of the squad, and come to a standstill.

You turn into Santiago at the last available moment, meaning he ends up disconcertingly close. Almost chest-to-chest with you.

“Put your hands on me,” you command, a little more throaty than intended. You sling your arms around his shoulders, fingertips brushing at the buzzed hair at the nape of his neck. Santiago hesitates, but following a search of your eyes he plants his hands firmly onto the small of your back. You instantly feel the broadness and the warmth of him through the thin fabric of your dress. Those lethal hands. The hands that have pulled triggers and grenade clips. Choked the life out of assailants. Those lethal hands that have traced gently down your back as you laid bare beside him, killing you softly.

You let his hands rove over your body, wherever he wants to put them. Apparently, he wants to put them everywhere he can, like it’s a compulsion to touch you. He trails his hands up and down your back, ghosts them over the globes of your ass, snakes them down to the lip of your dress where his fingertips brush against your bare thighs, tacky with heat. And, after wandering, his hands come to rest low-slung on your hips, exactly where he likes to grab you when he thrusts into you. He gives you a subtle squeeze there, and the feel of him floods back to you. You are reminded of the way, when you’re with him, your own lethal hands are finally occupied by something other than battle. Of the times when you relinquish any preoccupation with victory, in favour of reaching perfect surrender. The times when your heart throbbing in your throat feels like safety instead of danger.

His hands on you feel... natural. You move together symbiotically. Your bodies are always, easily in sync. On the battlefield, on the dance floor, in the bedroom. Always moving as a team. After so long side-by-side, it would be hard to exist in a manner to the contrary. It would be hard to exist without him at all.

Will be hard.

You let Santiago press against you as you sway together on the darkened dancefloor, gyrating and slinking your hips in time with the music. You feel him half-harden against you and his grip on your hips tightens, a feeble but gruff sound involuntarily escaping his lips and causing a coil to tighten in the pit of you.

You think Santiago looks into your eyes meaningfully then. With something deep and unspeakable. Though that must simply be the wishful thinking you’ve become so practised at, and so, you immediately dismiss the thought, even as you nestle your mouth closer to his ear in order to speak. As your breath fans over the corded column of his neck you could swear he engorges further. And, the ache between your legs becomes almost unbearable at the spike of his cologne in your nostrils, his familiar scent curling within you.

Santiago doesn’t smell like spice or musk or woodsmoke. Not to you. To you he smells like memories and possibilities - a heady paradox. Like your past and future. His scent inspires a quickening within you. Something under your skin is spurred into motion, tending toward collision. Yet at the same time, his scent curls in you and feels like… a stilling too. Like someone entirely arrived at a place so familiar that they forget ever having arrived at all and can’t imagine leaving.

You dismiss it. You try. You fracture the moment. You must, before you collide.

“I hear you’ve had some informant woes? I hope to God we got the intel.” You feel him tense instantly against you.

“Uh-huh. I got it.” Santiago‘s not really listening. Instead, he’s dropping his eyes to your body pressed up against his own, the heels of his hands now kneading into your hips. “You look good.” His voice is a husk in the shell of your ear as he leans into you, ensuring he can be heard over the music.

“Good for Luci, breaking it off though.” You dismiss his compliment, barely able to obscure the animosity in your tone despite all attempts to sound casual.

He snaps back from you an inch or so, enough to look you directly in the eyes. You think that maybe, he looks almost disappointed. “Jealous?” he probes, ticking-up one eyebrow.

He knows you far too well. Yet, despite his on-the-mark observation, the question makes you feel called-out and so, your next tack becomes unnecessarily cruel. Vengeful almost. “He’s getting there.”

“What?” Santiago asks in evident confusion, his hands slipping back-up to the neutral area of your back as the mood slips away too.

“The tall drink of water at 9 ‘o’ clock. Guy who’s been eyeing me all night. Doesn’t he look like he wants his hands on me instead of yours?” You know that you sound cruel, and petty, and the words feel bitter, like salt and lime in your mouth. You’ve said them all the same though. It’s already done.

Santiago’s jaw clenches, eyes flicking subtly over as he rotates you to get a better look at your target.

“He does,” he states, with a thin attempt at neutrality, his neck roped with tension as his eyes skim over the other man.

“Great. Then thanks for the dance, Wingman. You’re relieved.”

Santiago puffs out air, his jaw clenching and eyes darkening.

You tick an eyebrow up at him. “What’s wrong? You jealous, Santiago?”

Then, you saunter towards the bar, where the other man is stood. He very blatantly gives you the once over, evidently liking what he sees. You lean in with a flirty smile, letting the image of an aggrieved Santiago dissolve into the throng of people as you allow yourself to be entirely distracted.

You are done waiting.

You want to be noticed, and this handsome man in front of you is certainly providing you with his undivided attention.

***

Later, Santiago watches you prepare to leave with the other man, disgruntled and forlorn. He’s watched you all night via snatched glances through the crowd. Watched the man laugh at your jokes, watched him work up the courage to brush your arm. He watched you eventually move in for the kiss, your eyes turning hungry as you pulled away, teeth biting down on that delicious, pillowy lip of yours.

The bar having quietened down a little by now, Santiago sits in a booth opposite Tom and Frankie, Will having found his own company for the remainder of the night as well. Santiago’s head is propped on his elbow, a half-empty beer nestled in his other hand. His buddies’ eyes needle him as you toss a casual salute over to the table, your hook-up leading you out by the hand and your eyes shining gleefully.

“What?” Santiago hisses defensively, as Frankie continues to stare knowingly at him from the opposite side of the table.

Frankie’s head simply shakes in amusement. “Nothing. Only… when in the hell are you gonna figure out it’s her you really want, huh?”

“She’s just a friend,” Santiago bristles, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, hunching in on himself.

“And a fuck-buddy,” Tom ventures.

Santiago looks down, taking a masking swig of his beer. “You know about that?”

“Didn’t until just now. But thanks a bunch for confirming,” Tom replies in a self-satisfied tone, earning a chuckle and a bump on the shoulder from Frankie.

“Well… fuck.” Santiago sighs, his face becoming pinched.

“I already knew,” Frankie states. “Christ. You’re loud enough, man. Hard to keep the secret that you’re nailing one of the squad when we’re camped out in, like, 3ft of jungle.”

Santiago absent-mindedly picks at the label on his bottle with his thumb. “Don’t talk about it like that, man. It’s not… Fuck.”

Frankie just looks across at him in sympathy, Santiago’s reaction revealing more than he probably cared to about the true extent of his predicament.

You’d risen through the ranks together. You’d been through a lot. Everyone on the squad knew Santiago was your ride or die and you his. You had each other’s backs. Had tended each other’s bullet wounds for Christ’s sake. Your friendship and the trust between you both -on the battlefield and off it- was deep and unshakeable.

“And you don’t want more than that?” Tom probes.

Despite being indoors, Santiago picks up his baseball cap from the seat and pulls it down over his eyes then, in an attempt to shield himself from this line of questioning.

“What ‘else’ is there? There’s not much time for romance in between a hail of bullets.”

“Maybe.” Tom tips his head, contemplatively. “But you’re not getting any younger, Pope. How many years do your Goddamn knees have left in them?” He lets that one simmer for a moment, before nodding pointedly towards the door through which you had retreated. “You could do a lot worse, you know.”

“She could do a lot better,” Frankie interjects, earning a snigger from Tom and causing Santiago to huff, expression turning surly. Frankie holds his hands up defensively then. “Look, you do you, man. I’m just saying... I’m sure you’re having a great time getting your dick wet all over the continent… but if you don’t step up soon? You might regret it.”

Santiago whips his eyes towards his buddy, gaze interrogative and piercing. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing in particular,” Frankie shrugs, searching Santiago’s eyes with equal vigour. Santiago drops his gaze first, feeling exposed.

Frankie kicks his buddy gently under the table. “Come on, hermano. Use your words. Share your feelings.”

Frankie’s words may sound mildly taunting, as ever, but Santiago recognises the invitation to open up is genuine. He purses his lips, brows knitting together as he resists it, picking through his choice of words carefully before he allows them out of his mouth. He massages his palm over his roughened jaw and it rasps like sandpaper. “I don’t even know if she wants more.”

“Are you kidding me, man?” Tom responds in amusement. “The guy who can get information out of a freakin’ stone, make any informant sing, ‘doesn’t know’ if she wants more? That’s what’s stopping you? A fucking intel issue?”

Frankie titters again, narrowing his eyes at Santiago and trying to figure him out. “He’s scared,” the man accuses, before his tone softens involuntarily. “That it?”

Santiago takes an idle swig of his beer, polishing off the dregs before shrugging his jacket on, jaw twitching in irritation.

“Oh shit, he’s moping! He’s moping now. Can’t handle the truth,” Tom mocks.

“Come on, Santiago,” Frankie reasons. “We just want things to work out for you. You two are a good match- any chump can see that. Heh. Except maybe you.”

Santiago doesn’t respond. Instead, he simply continues his silent preparations to leave, stuffing his wallet and keys into his jean pockets.

“Plus- there are a bunch of reasons we’d like you off the market,” Tom teases. “More women for the rest of us. Golden opportunity to tease you for being so whipped.” Tom flashes a shit-eating grin up at his friend.

Nodding gently, lips twisted in a pout and refusing to rise to it, Santiago tips his head towards his squad members. “Gentlemen,” he offers by way of farewell, before starting towards the door.

“Want me to walk you home safe, chiquito?” Frankie calls.

“I’m not going home.” Santiago turns and gives the two men an affectionate middle finger before beelining toward the exit.

“You’re not going over to her right now, are you? Pope? Santiago? That’s not what we... She’s gonna be pissed, man. Think this through!” Tom shouts after him, but it’s futile. Santiago has already swept out into the night, leaving Tom and Frankie to exchange helpless glances.

There is a beat.

Then: “I bet the bastard gets laid as well,” Frankie snorts.

“Right?” Tom hums softly in agreement. “If anyone can turn up to a girl’s apartment while she’s banging another guy and still end up getting down? It’s that little shit, no word of a lie.”

There is a moment of silence as the pair sip their drinks and contemplate what Santiago has, precisely, which causes women to become so enamoured with him.

“Maybe it’s his ass?” Tom offers, finally.

Frankie clicks his fingers. “Ah. You’re probably right. That ass won’t quit.”

Meanwhile, Santiago steps out into the fresh air, the slight bite of it taking the edge off his alcohol buzz.

His thoughts are overwhelmed with you. Have been overwhelmed with you. In truth, Santiago is finding it harder and harder to keep this up. Especially whenever it is just the two of you, he finds it harder and harder to resist you.

It is typically easier in the city, where there are plenty of distractions. He is grateful for it - other people he can tangle with to take his mind off of you. In the city, it is easier to push that side of you out of his mind and to fall back into the clear-cut ways. The way it used to be before the lines had become blurred. Easier to compartmentalise his feelings for you. A friend first. A soldier second. A lover, only intermittently.

Santiago was determined not to let everything bleed into one, because once those barriers, those delineations fell, he was convinced he would never be able to rebuild them.

Most of all, he was convinced he wouldn’t want to.

The thing is... the “distractions”? They never really worked for long. You are the only woman for him, in truth. And for all it might be crazy, he is headed towards your apartment right now to find out if you feel the same way. To find out if you want more. To find out if you see him as more than a friend and a soldier and a lover, or if you see him completely, and all at once.

To find out if he is everything to you, like you are to him.

***

There is a loud rap on your door and it tears you, regretfully, from the tangle of limbs you are in. When the knock becomes more insistent, you apologise to the man blissed out beneath you and extricate yourself from his embrace, hastily cloaking yourself in a sheet and traipsing through your temporary apartment – home for the time being. Adrenalin piqued, you peer through the spyhole, relief flooding you when you see who it is.

“Santi? What the fuck?” you ask, opening the door to him and pressing the sheet to you with your remaining hand.

“Hi,” he says casually, the brim of his baseball cap pulled down over his eyes.

“I’m in the middle of something,” you bite, emphatically. “What in the hell do you want?” you hiss at him, keeping your volume low.

“You,” he says plainly.

Santiago looks you over; your flushed face, plumped lips and blatant post-orgasm glow. His jaw visibly clenches.

“What?!” you exclaim in confusion.

“I want you.”

You tear his blasted hat off to examine his eyes for sincerity, pushing it into his chest all bunched-up. He hastily stuffs it in his jacket pocket. Eyes narrowed, you appraise him a moment longer, clicking your tongue in disbelief at the nerve this man has before abruptly closing the door on him.

“Bye, Santi.”

“Wait!” he pleads, jamming his foot in the door and muscling through.

“What in the hell are you doing?!” you hiss again, backing-up and almost tripping over your sheet, which Santiago now has his mucky boots all over.

By this time, your hook-up for the night has heard the commotion and blustered through the dark apartment -in the nude- to ward off your supposed intruder. Your companion is bigger, sure, but he certainly shouldn’t mess with Santiago. He wouldn’t fare well at all.

You raise your hand to diffuse the situation. “It’s ok, he’s a friend. Sometimes,” you add with a tilt of your head.

Your companion’s face flashes with recognition as Santiago emerges from out of the shadows. “Oh. It’s you, from the bar. Here I was thinking we’d gotten rid of you already.”

Santiago simply glowers with bubbling aggravation at the man, who has the cheek to just stand there with his fucking schlong out, entirely undeterred. Santiago puffs his chest out, making himself larger.

“Please.” Santiago addresses you, tearing his eyes away from the man. “Can we talk?”

You sigh, unable to believe that you’re being stupid enough to agree to his demands. You turn back to the man you were enjoying being on top of until a moment ago. “Can you give us five minutes? I’m so sorry. I’ll be back.”

“Well - she might not be back,” Santiago suggests, and you glare at him, irritated.

The man looks between you and Santiago in disbelief before addressing you only. “Sure,” he says with a languid, sultry smile, ignoring Santiago entirely. “I’m willing to wait if we get to continue the fun we were having.”

“Oh he’s a cheeky fuck,” Santiago grates, his whole body tense, and you quickly grab his elbow to bundle him into the kitchen before he can do any further damage.

“You’re the cheeky fuck, Santiago.” Apparently that’s your type. You vaguely wonder why you keep subjecting yourself to this, but you certainly don’t wish to pull on that thread too hard. Not right now.

As you release his elbow, Santiago comes to face you in the narrow slip of a kitchen.

“Well? What in the hell are you doing here?” you rage whisper at him, folding your arms across yourself and tapping your foot impatiently on the tiled floor.

Santiago simply squares up to you, his expression formidable, unphased. His dark eyes trail over you again, snagging on the places where the sheet drapes over the contours of you. You are suddenly uncomfortably aware of how naked you are beneath it. “Told you. I want you.”

Normally, those words were enough. But not any longer. You scoff. “I know all about how you want me, Pope. Half-heartedly. You want me when it suits you. When you can’t have me. When there’s no-one else around for you to want.”

It is his turn to scoff now. “Casual is what you wanted. You gonna throw that back in my face now?”

You sigh, tiredly, refusing to get embroiled in this. This is all meaningless. He can twist things and make excuses all he likes, but Santiago is a man of action. If he wanted you? Really wanted you? He wouldn’t let a Goddamn technicality stand in the way.

You don’t have the energy for excuses. For this conversation. You’ve waited too long for Santiago to even realise there is anything worth talking about. So, instead of fighting back, you let it go.

“I’m done, Santi. I’m out.”

Your words feel like a relief to you, after bottling this up since you came to the decision. The relief extends through your body as you sag backward to lean up against the cold fridge door, that too relieving on your hot, sheening skin.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Santi dismisses your assertion instantly. He tended towards tunnel vision about some things. Just because he didn’t want out, he tended to assume that was true for everyone else. He was a connector, an enabler, and these factors combined meant the squad had stayed together a long time; far longer than it ever should have, like this time. He’d pulled his “retired” buddies back in, yet again.

“I’m for real, Santi,” you say in a small voice. “It’s already done.”

A veil of shock then betrayal passes over his face as the truth of your words sinks in. He takes a step back from you, as if he’s been sucker punched in the gut. His brows knit together and he looks down at the floor. “When?”

“Three weeks.” You figure you may as well rip the band-aid off in one go.

He turns his mouth down at the corners and slowly nods his head, doing an admirable job of containing whatever it is he is feeling, for the moment, while he gathers his intelligence. Mission above emotion, as ever. Santiago looks at the world through a scope sometimes, and he often forgets about the big picture. It always surprises you how a man so perceptive and attentive to detail -when he chooses to apply it- could fail to notice something right under his nose.

“Where?”

“Home. Desk-job, by the ocean. Private firm and a nice salary too. What’s not to love?” You add the extra information in an effort to detract from the thing you least wanted to face. Home is far. Far from him.

“Fuck,” Santiago breathes, finally looking up at you. “Because of me?”

You bristle again. “You arrogant piece of....” you sigh heavily, biting your lip and reminding yourself it isn’t worth it to grow aggravated. Plus, there’s a kernel of truth in his question, after all. You gather yourself before speaking again. “I stayed so long because of you, Santi. But I’m leaving for me. I’m tired of waiting.” Maybe he’ll notice you when you’re gone, you think. Maybe he’ll want you then.

“You can’t go. Someone with your skillset will be impossible to replace at short notice. How the hell am I supposed to keep the operation afloat without you?”

You shake your head softly, smiling in disbelief, his response confirming so many of your reasons behind going. Always focussed on the mission.

“Frankie’s looking into someone, actually. He knows a guy. He’s not as good as me, of course, but-”

“-You told Frankie?!” You can hear in his voice that the revelation hurts him. He has always been your confidant. But hey, things change, even if Santiago never does.

“Yeah, well,” you say thinly, through your teeth. “There’s plenty you don’t tell me, Santi.” You look at him pointedly. “Besides, I think you’ll manage. You always seem to find someone to meet your… needs. Don’t you?”

Santiago brings one arm up beside your head, leaning against the fridge with his palm, his dark eyes turbulent and boring into yours. “You’re the one who’s got some guy in there. What do you want from me, huh?”

He crowds you, but you can’t bring yourself to push him back. Instead, you languish more readily up against the fridge door, your grip on your sheet becoming less and less sure.

“Oh! That’s your fucking grand gesture? You came here to ask me what the hell I want from you?” Your passions rise, heart thrumming in your chest. You try and tell yourself it’s entirely from anger and nothing at all to do with his proximity. That it’s certainly not because of that look he’s giving you.

Speaking of proximity, Santiago’s now close enough to smell the other man’s scent on you. He’s leaning into you, breath ragged and desire clouding his eyes, even as you still bear the signs of being ravaged by another between your legs. Or perhaps… because of it.

Even as you stand here, like this, signs of another lover temporarily strewn over your person, it’s ludicrous to think another could claim you. You belong to Santiago. It’s Santiago who is indelibly written onto your body, the map of scars telling the story and you and him. The scar on your shoulder from a bullet wound, the scar on your calf from an off-road collision, the marks all over you serve as a reminder of the times Santiago has been there for you. Pressed his lethal hands to you to keep your lifeforce from ebbing away. He is your ride or die, and your body knows it.

Equally, as he stands there fully clothed, you know that his body similarly hosts a constellation of scars from all your shared moments; in the field, on missions, over continents. One of you could not hope to be read -to be understood- without the other. Your bodies would forever move through the world as a team, as a pair, even if you left his side.

You were each the key to cartographing each other’s lives. To imagine that the hickey on your neck or the slick between your legs could begin to compare to the way Santiago had marked you as his was almost comical.

“You really need a grand gesture to know I care about you?” You know what he’s asking. Is running into a hail of bullets for you not enough? Hasn’t he proven himself to you time and time again?

“Santi. I don’t doubt you care about me. I could never. I just… I don’t feel like you know yet what you want from me. And I can’t wait anymore for you to make up your mind.” You shrug. “I don’t know. I just feel like… like sometimes you don’t even see me because I’ve always been right in front of you.”

Santiago looks at you, pained, expression weighted, as if he can’t find the words to tell the story of you. But your bodies are not stories. They are maps, and maps are to be understood through being travelled. That’s why, when his hand slips to you shoulder to slowly trace the scar there, it makes sense. It is understood without words as his fingers journey over your skin, a varied terrain of memories flashing through Santiago’s eyes. His touch retracing years in only moments.

“I see you,” he insists, his voice a husk, his calloused fingertips trailing over your smooth, delicate skin. Making you feel weak. Making you want to become a soft, fluid thing beneath him. Oh, he’s looking at you now. There’s that attention that feels like it might end you. You commune wordlessly, breath quickening, that pulse of desire tending toward collision, the stillness of having arrived home as he touches you.

“I see you,” he purrs, his hand moving to your sheet, gently tugging it away from your grasp and giving you ample opportunity to protest. But you don’t. You don’t protest. You are symbiotic with him. You move as a team, and you can’t help but want to merge. Maybe that’s why you let him tug the sheet from your grasp, fabric pooling at your feet. Maybe it’s the ache between your legs. Maybe it’s because you know he gives it to you good.

Santiago exposes you completely to him, eyes then hands hungrily trailing down over your contours. His fingers grip your hips firmly as his mouth sinks into your neck, his hot breath fanning over you as he speaks.

“I see you, baby.”

Your arms are still pinned to your sides as you pretend that somehow you can resist your urges, despite being naked and needy and oh so ready in front of him.

“Fuck you, Santiago,” you breathe, voice trembling, and you know exactly what he’s doing as his lips and his teeth snag angrily over your skin. Reclaiming you. Marking you as his. And instead of pushing him away, you pull him closer to you. Instead of recoiling you arch your body against him, breasts pushing up against him, the cold metal of his chain harsh against your skin. The sturdy mass and heat of him beneath his clothes only highlighting how exposed and vulnerable you feel, your desire entirely on display like a flare in the dark.

His mouth has already ravaged your neck, your collarbone, his stubble abrasive against you, leaving a pleasant burn in its wake. His cologne is the only scent enveloping you now. Then, his hands rove over you, everywhere, like he’d wished they could in the bar, your skin still cloying, tacky with sweat. He paws at every bit of you as if to reinstate his claim on you. Your breasts, your ass, your hips, your thighs. He isn’t gentle. His hands showing their strength in a way they haven’t with you before now. He tongues your salty skin and the way his mouth punishes you is bitter like lime, foreshadowing his words.

“Did he make you come?” he asks into your neck, his hand slipping between your legs and finding you wet and welcoming. “Did he?”

“Yes,” you breathe, his voice commanding enough that you want to answer. Your face contorting as if in pain as Santiago continues to grind two girthy fingers over your folds. Your companion had made you wet, but nothing like this. All he’s doing is feeling you, coating himself, and Santiago has you drenched already; you can feel it slick against your inner thighs as you tremble under the weight of yourself, suddenly so heavy with lust that you can barely stand.

Your arms wind around his neck to steady yourself and he pins you between him and the fridge, your fingers inching up through the buzzed hair at his neck, nails trailing over his scalp and up into his grizzled curls as you finally become molten against him. Your hands fist in his hair and you tug his head up towards your lips, earning a grunt from him as pain needles across his scalp. The sound is growled into your mouth as his snarled kiss crashes against yours.

He’s frustrated, and he’s jealous, and he wants to show you that you’re his. What’s more, you want him to show you. Oh, how you want him to.

You shudder against the sudden blunt pressure of two of Santiago’s fingers at your entrance, your need urgent and a tightness building so immediately in your core. He pushes himself more firmly up against you, pinning you between his taut body and the fridge. His tongue ravages your mouth and your pleas for him to touch you become incoherent sounds that you work into him in return. His kiss is rough, his teeth scathing you, lips on yours in a crush, stubble grating at your chin and cheeks as he opens himself up as if to devour you. Then, he sucks your bottom lip in between his own and clamps his teeth down until you howl against the sting of it, bucking your body against the pain as you cry into his mouth.

With the bucking of your hips, you grind yourself against his hand, and Santiago barely needs to move as you willingly spear yourself on his fingers. He leaves you wanting though, allowing you just an inch of him when he has so much more to give. Already, the ridges of him against you are providing divine friction, his fingers curling and scissoring inside you, but he leaves you begging for more. Begging him to plunge himself all the way in.

“Did you think about me when you took him? Did you use him and wish it was me between your legs?” Santiago’s voice is like gravel in the shell of your ear, and his words curl into the depths of you. With them, he thrusts his fingers angrily into your heat, driving himself in all the way to the knuckle. Your eyes practically roll back into your head as he thrusts harshly and asks you again, even more insistent. “Did you?”

“Yes,” you admit, in a broken voice, tugging him closer to you, crushing your lips onto the column of his neck, tugging the collar of his shirt aside until you can bite down into the meat of his shoulder, stifling your moans there as his pace intensifies. His fingers are curling relentlessly towards your sweet spot and your walls are already fluttering against him. The heel of his hand is rocking against your excruciatingly sensitive clit, applying steady rolls of pressure as his fingers delve into you. His watch strap digs into your pubic bone but for some reason it only adds to the heightened sensations coursing through you.

“Do I make you feel good? Do I make you feel better with my fingers than he could with his whole body, huh?”

His words practically make you sob into him. It’s dirtier than you’ve ever heard him talk. It’s more intimate and further from friendship than anything you’ve done with him so far. Yes, you’ve fucked but this… this is something else. This is you admitting you are entirely his. This feels simultaneously more like battle and more like surrender than it ever has. And you wholly surrender.

You moan. You moan out loud despite the fact you shouldn’t. Despite the fact there’s still another man in the apartment who you had underneath you only moments ago.

“Are you gonna come on my fingers – show me who you belong to?”

You agree. You agree wholeheartedly.

Santiago pulls back just to watch you. To see the pleasure play over your face, both the overabundance of it and dearth of it as every touch satisfies yet has you craving more. You see a prideful glow in his eyes that he has you this wrecked, mewling and writhing on him as he adds a third finger into your wetness and pumps himself hard in and out of you.

“Fuck,” he intones, his voice hollowed-out. “You’re fucking drenched. Wettest I’ve ever felt.” God. You can hear how wet you are.

In dire need of some relief himself, Santiago presses his clothed, hardened length against your hip as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of you. Even through the substantial fabric of his jeans you can feel the thick, hard promise of him as he begins to grind himself against you, low and guttural moans escaping his sweet lips. The fact that he’s so fucking desperate for you, that you have made him hot enough to get off from only this has a knot tightening in the pit of you as you watch him start to unravel alongside you.

“Fuck, Santi,” you moan into the air, not even caring that there’s someone else in the apartment. Past caring about anything at all except your need for him to keep touching you, his fingers filling you up so well.

“That’s it, baby. Say my name, say you’re mine.”

Santiago is still grinding his clothed length against you, even as his fingers overflow with your essence. He dips his head into the crook of your neck and the growl he emits fans over your skin. Makes it sound as if he’s about to lose it too, simply from this. His spare hand dips down to collect one of your breasts and he lifts your nipple into his mouth, sucking and tonguing and biting the peak of you, squeezing you -not gently- as you topple towards your end.

He continues to grind against you, and the thought of him exploding in his pants for you tips you over the edge, his name tumbling from your lips over and over as you flutter and clench around his fingers. The feeling spreading outward through your body like an explosion, leaving you levelled, a resounding buzz reaching all the way to your extremities and whiting out your vision like a flashbang. Your fingers tangle in Santiago’s curls as you spasm against him, his fingers eking every last drop of pleasure from you - as though he knows his way around you better than anyone could.

At the feel and sound and sight of you coming undone, his hardened length grinds on you with renewed vigour, a wracked and disbelieving moan stuttering through him as he loses it without you having laid a finger on him. His body becomes stiff against you as he pulses his seed out beneath his clothes. Something about him being so lost in desire for you that he’d make a mess of himself like that has you clenching with deep, generous aftershocks, adrift with the thought of his hardened length pearling with his warm release.

Santiago’s head settles into the crook of your neck as you both come down together, even as his fingers continue to lazily pulse in and out of you - just to feel you. Your arms lovingly cradle his head, fingers tangling in his curls, your lips finding their way to his hairline to plant gentle kisses there. Your Santiago. In your arms.

You stay there a moment until your jagged breathing and thrumming heart settle, enjoying him languorously touching you. With a shiver of contentment, he withdraws from your heat, wrapping his unsullied hand around your waist to pull you closer.

For a moment, everything is in soft focus, like the break of day before an alarm. You close your eyes against his touch and breathe him in as he whispers lovingly into your neck, planting light kisses where a moment ago his puckered lips left angry bruises.

“Fuck. I love you. I love you. I adore you. I need you.”

When you don’t respond though, Santiago stills against you, lifting his head to look you dead in the eyes. He finds them tearing in the corners.

Your voice begins weakly. “You love me, Santi. But do you want a life with me? A life outside of the mission, outside of all of this?”

He brushes his thumb softly over your jawline. “I know I haven’t been all in. But I swear it to you, baby... you’re my end game. It’s just, we’re not there yet. We’re too deep in this shit. If we can get one more of Lorea’s deputies then maybe-”

“-Sure,” you say sadly, the word heavy and the intimacy of the moments prior dissipating quickly. You know fine well what “one more” means. You dip to collect your sheet from the floor and tighten it around yourself, using the motion in a vague attempt to distract both Santiago and yourself from the tears threatening more violently in your eyes now.

The footsteps you hear approaching the kitchen are a further welcome distraction, and you surreptitiously clean off Santiago’s hand on the already soiled sheet before your first companion of the evening (now fully clothed) pops his head around the doorframe.

“I’m just gonna leave,” he interjects awkwardly, and your cheeks flush in humiliation. You’re sure one day, far into the future, this may be a funny story you tell, but, right now? It feels more than a little mortifying.

“I’m so sorry. I…” You reach for a more robust apology but come up with nothing, far too aware that Santiago’s eyes continue to needle you. What are you going to do? Tell him it was fun? And so, since you opt to leave it hanging, your companion simply pumps his eyebrows once before striding smoothly out of your apartment. You jump slightly as you hear the door slamming shut behind him, evidently feeling a little on edge despite being wrung out so recently by bliss.

Your eyes linger on the doorframe a little too long, staring at nothing except the now vacated space. You’re not ready to turn your attention back to Santiago quite yet, and you’re much less ready to deal with what will follow.

It turns out, you don’t even have to look back at him, because your cowardice says it all for you. Instead, a small voice escapes him.

“You’re still gonna go, aren’t you?”

You look at him then, and you see a sadness blooming in his eyes which is so heart-breaking that you're half-glad when tears gather in your own, blurring-out the sight of him. His pain always was too much for you to look at.

Your gladness is short-lived however, as your own tears begin to spill out of you. You wipe the deluge away with the heel of your hand, but the tears are coming quicker than you can mop them up. Your chest shakes as you speak your next words.

“I love you, Santi. Believe me. I love you. But it’s always ‘just one more’.” One more woman. One more mission. One more way to break your heart. “You’re living like... like you can get to the end of the line and wish for one more fucking chance.”

“Don’t go. Please,” he pleads, moving close to you and wrapping his arms around you. His broad, warm hands at your back. “Please. I’m putting it on the line here. I want you. I love you.”

You smile thinly at him. You know he’s trying and God, you love him too. But this? For you, it’s too little, too late. For him, you guess you’re asking for too much, too soon. He’s not ready to leave this life. He’s not even ready to imagine leaving it. But, oh boy, you are. You are.

You sniffle and take a deep, steadying breath, giving it everything you have to stay firm, despite every fibre in you telling you to surrender. To just stay with him. It would be too easy to do.

“It’s a hard out, Santi.”

He senses the finality of your words and nods slowly, his eyes shining with tears, his whole face becoming taut with emotion. His silence is prolonged as he draws in ragged breaths. His hands slip away from your back and the moment slips away with them. You miss the warmth of them instantly.

“Okay,” he says in a small, curt voice. “Okay.”

He about turns, precise and efficient, swivelling towards the door and tracking along the hallway leading out of your apartment.

“Santi, wait!” you call, traipsing along after him, slowed by the material bundling at your feet. “Santiago Garcia, don’t you dare leave it like this,” you plead. “Not after everything.”

He turns his head back towards you as he swings open your front door. His eyes are cold, face set as he looks at you, his voice monotone. “I’m not the one leaving.”

An anger and a sadness erupt in you at the coldness, the cruelness of his words, and, apparently, not even the sight of the fresh batch of tears spilling down your cheeks can slow his retreat from your apartment.

Santiago “Pope” Garcia turns and swiftly walks out without looking back, leaving the door swinging violently on its hinges. The fucking nerve of this man.

You start after him; but he’s already making his way down the stairwell and you’re in no position to chase him. Your pain boiling over you yell, voice creaking under the weight of your emotion.

“I hope your fucking knees give out on the way down, you asshole.”

Your cruel, cheap words carry down the stairwell, yet an echo is all the response you get. Santiago is gone. He didn’t stop for a second.

He doesn’t know how to stop.

He’s mission over emotion. Near-death over living. He’s seemingly in this until it kills him, but you can’t be in it anymore. You have always been his ride or die, but now is the time for you to live, even if that means you can no longer be side-by-side with him.

He is the other half of you and no matter where you are to go, your bodies will move through the world as a team, one unable to be read without the other. Santiago is written all over you, and nothing can change that.

Besides, you know if he really wants to, he can always come find you. He has a map for loving you, if he would ever follow the route it was trying to take him. But he’s not there yet.

He just has one more mission to go.

And then the next.

And the next.

#santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago garcia x reader #triple frontier #oscar isaac

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yoonkookieluv · 1 year

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This are some fics I’m obsessed with

I started reading fics just a few months ago and this are some of my favorites 🥰

I’m so glad I found these amazing stories by these incredible authors 💓 each story is a masterpiece and if you can please give them a try and don’t forget to give these authors lots of love for their hard work and creativity 🫶🏻

SERIES

Mutual help by @personasintro

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fake dating au

Sumary: in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it a mutual help

Red by @taestefully-in-luv

Genre: FLUFF, smut, angst:(( pregnancy au

Summary: You drunkenly sleep with your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Can’t be that bad right? Unless he gets you pregnant.

Always you by @taestefully-in-luv

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Rule #5 by @taestefully-in-luv

Genre: fwb au, friends to lovers, fluff, maybe a little angst, SMUT

Summary: You strike up a fwb deal with your childhood friend Jungkook after kissing him one night after a dare. But you have rules…5 of them to be exact and it seems Jungkook doesn’t want to follow any of them.

As we were by @archivedkookie

Genre: divorce au, infidelity au, eventual smut, heavy angst, lots of pining

Summary: Your husband cheats on you and find comfort in someone else’s arms. He claims he’s happy—but is he really?

Long way home by @sparklingchim

genre: dilf!jungkook, friends to lovers, fluff, little bit of angst

summary: the one where you babysit jungkook's baby and somehow let the night end up with being a cockblock for him.

Cruel intentions by @explicit-tae

Genre: smut, Mafia!Jungkook

Summary: You adored your eldest brother - you truly did. Before his addiction got the best of him, he was amazing at caring for you and your other siblings. Now, however, it was your turn to care for him without the help of your siblings who long abandoned him, advising you to do the same. Once your brother manages to get himself imprisoned, you realize just how much trouble he got himself into. Once your family is threatened, you offer to pay off the debts your brother owes with the one thing any powerful man couldn't resist - your virginity.

Practice by @chryblossomjjk

genre: m/18+ | college au, fwb, smut, fluff, angst

summary: You usually spend Friday nights on your own. Tonight, however, your friend and campus fuckboy, Jungkook, decides to pay you a visit.

Bloodline by @jjkeverlast

genre: slow burn (sorry y’all) smut (a lot of it oop-) humor, angst and college au

summary a relationship was the last thing you wanted, but having wild and experimenting sex? now that was something, and jeon jungkook is there to give you simply that. as long as either catch feelings… but that won’t be hard for you knowing you’d never go for a guy like jungkook, although jungkook might have another opinion about you. let the (fun) begin!

Just friends by @kinktae

genre: uh best friend AU but really just an excuse for angsty smut

summary: The transition from best friends to best friends with benefits is never easy, especially when there’s a daddy kink involved.

Blackout by @jjungxkook

genre: best friends to lovers, roommate and college au, fluff, crack, smut

summary: Utility bills shooting up like this should be an international crime. Luckily, Jungkook has the perfect idea(s) to save up money and make your night sinfully unforgettable.

I loved you by @kimtaesss

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to (?)

Summary: being friends for 10 years means nothing, especially when he betrays your trust so easily.

Bad Guy by @taehoneys

Genre: Drama

Summary: A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time… a big one: Jeon Jungkook

Leave the door open by @here4btsfics

Genre: smut, a dash of fluff, humor

Summary: Your neighbor loves to sing karaoke in the middle of the night. You finally get fed up and confront him about it. Except when he opens the door, you realize you’re screwed. He’s gorgeous.

THIRTY-FIVE by @bangtansmauyeondan

Genre: rivals au, social media au, frenemies to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, crack.

Summary: It has always been the battle of the best between you and your college rival, Jungkook. What happens when years later, you cross paths again working for the same broadcasting network company, and the competitive flame is rekindled? Well, a whole new drunken bet that determines your futures wasn’t in your line of vision, but here you are… and you have until 35.

Out of Time - JJK by @97erstan

Genre: angst | smut

Summary: after being invited to your ex's wedding, he invites you to visit his room for a final goodbye.

OUR TIME by @taestefully-in-luv

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

An abundance of luck & a sprinkle of fate by @borathae

(Spin-Off to I hate you I love you)

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x Sexworker!Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, BDSM, Hurt and Comfort, Smut, Romance, Fluff, Angst

Summary: When two souls, with different reasons for why life has broken them, find together, it needs a whole lot of a luck and a little bit of fate to make them see that maybe healing together isn’t as bad as it sounds.

Love to Hate by @kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jungkook / Reader

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fuck Buddies!AU

Summary: Born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you've done your best to rid yourself of the taste since you were old enough to walk. Occasionally though, your mother manages to rope you into an obligatory function – or a blind date with playboy billionaire, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook stands for everything you loathe about the world you left behind, but you can’t deny the spark of attraction between you. Intrigued by the promise of mutual satisfaction, you agree to one night in bed… and quickly realize you’re in far, far deeper than you ever intended.

Runaway by @archivedkookie

pairing ; tattoo artist / biker!jk x reader

genre ; best friend’s brother au, fwb (they’re not rlly friends tho), 4 years age gap, smut, angst, fluff, slow burn

summary ; When your best friend's brother, your first-ever crush, offers to help you explore your sexual desires, you just can't refuse. Especially when it's someone as irresistible as Jeon Jungkook.

Paradise by @minisugakoobies

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: smut, neighbors to lovers, slow burn, love triangle, Stripper!AU

summary: That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!

ONE SHOTS

CRAZY by @personasintro

Pairing: jungkook x reader, jungkook x f!character

Genre: angst, smut, cheating au

Summary: your boyfriend comes with an idea

THIRTEEN ROUNDS by @moni-logues

Pairing: Boxer!Jungkook x f!reader

Genre: smut smut smut smut smut! sex ban smut lmao; established relationship

Summary: JK’s boxing coach tells him he can’t come for four weeks before his title fight. Ah, four weeks isn’t that long, right? … Right?

SERIES

The island by @taestefully-in-luv

Genre: strangers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

if it’s not you · kth (m) by @mercurygguk

content; exes to lovers!au, smut/angst, a bit of fluff

summary; Kim Taehyung grew up watching his parents fall more in love for each day that passed and he always longed for that great, passionate love himself. But if it’s not you? Then he doesn’t want it

I HATE YOU, I LOVE YOU by @borathae

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader, minor Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: Enemies to Lovers!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU, CEO!Taehyung, CEO!Reader, Romance, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Summary: “You are marrying Kim Taehyung, heir to Kim Enterprises, one of South Korea’s hottest bachelors and a total pain in the ass. You do not want to marry him and neither does he want to marry you. But in families likes yours’, marriage does not come with love. “

ONE SHOTS

Pick of the Patch by @taestefully-in-luv

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, enemies to lovers

Summary: You’re a struggling artist with a strong desire to escape so when your mother suddenly calls and asks you to return home to replace her in this years Harvest Festival dance, you never said yes faster. However, she informs you that you’ll be working with another dancer, Kim Taehyung and upon meeting, you decide you do not like him…but right when you think you could grow up and move past it, Taehyung makes it clear that he does not like you either.

SERIES

Love Again | PJM by @taestefully-in-luv

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

SERIES

monachopsis by @personasintro

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, fluff, smut, mini series

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; after receiving unpleasant news that doesn't allow you to grow your family, your husband comes up with an idea that unfortunately involves his brother whom he despises

Away From You by @personasintro

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst, smut, divorce!au

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; Trying to divorce Yoongi might be harder than you thought it’d be. Especially when you’re having a two year old toddler.

ONE SHOTS

Stay High by @personasintro

genre: fluff, angst, smut

synopsis; You’ve to stay high to keep your ex out off your mind when he comes back into your life.

Selfish Love by @personasintro

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: yoongi x reader

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: infidelity au, smut, angst (?), drabble

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; we’re all a little bit selfish sometimes

SERIES

Sanguis Alpha by @borathae

Pairing: OT7 x f.Reader with main Taehyung x f.Reader & Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: Mystery, Fantasy, Romance, Smut, University!AU, Vampire!AU

Synopsis: You change universities after moving towns. Your new university is an old, ancient building with secret tunnels and whispered ghost stories. There are two fraternities, which for some reason always seem to be in a quarrel. Alpha consisting of Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin and Min Yoongi. Handsome, porcelain skinned men, who act as if they are out of another century and for some reason everyone on campus seems to be scared of. And Sanguis consisting of Jeon Jungkook, Kim Seokjin and Jung Hoseok. Men with skin just as pale and their faces just as beautiful, who always wear sunglasses when it is light outside and who never seem to open their curtains. And for some peculiar reason you always find yourself in the middle of them....

#fic rec #jungkook #taehyung #bts #bts fic #yoongi #park jimin #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader

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albertasunrise · 9 months

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Reality Check - Oops Baby

Masterlist

Summary: Being best friends with Frankie meant movie nights, drinks with the guys and a shoulder to cry on when you got your hear broken. He is head over heels for you but you don’t feel the same… yet a drunken mistake will tie your lives together forever!

Relationships: Frankie Morales x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+ (So... I am trying to update my other pics but the reaction I getting from this ones really giving me the motivation to continue it... so thank you and I hope you enjoy this update! ♥️ It's not a super long one but everything gonna become clear I promise!)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

“What do you mean I can’t see him right now?” You demanded, glancing down at Emse as you awaited a response from the doctor.

“He has been in a natural coma for a month and a half. It's going to take him a while before he’s even a little coherent. We also want to monitor him closely over the next few hours. He might be awake but he’s not out of the woods yet!” The doctor stated plainly “I know you want to see him but overwhelming him this soon after he’s woken up and suffered a cardiac arrest is not going to help with his recovery.” The doctor continued, giving your arm a gentle squeeze “If all goes well, you can see him tomorrow.”

You nodded to show your understanding and then looked at Ben. He looked as frustrated as you felt but you didn’t want to do anything that could risk his recovery. This was all just so difficult to get your head around.

Your near-death from Esme’s birth, to waking up to learn Frankie had had another major heart attack and was on life support until a heart came available, had been hard to come to terms with. It had been hard to navigate parenthood without him but then it had probably been the same for him at first.

But, as hard as this had been for you. How desperate you’d been for him to get better and wake up. It had hit Ben the hardest.

6 weeks earlier…

Ben opened the front door to Frank’s house and was immediately greeted by Emse’s screams.

“Fish?” He called out as stepped into the dimly lit house.

When he had received a text from Frankie earlier to say he’s broken up with Mary, Ben had initially been over the moon. But after he’d finished his celebrations, he thought he should probably check on Frankie. The man had cared for Mary after all. So that’s what led Ben to come over. And after knocking a few times a receiving no answer, he let himself in. Not something that was overly unusual.

What was unusual was to receive no answer from the pilot and to hear Esme screaming. Fish had been a dedicated father from the moment he had brought her home. Something was wrong.

“Fish?” He called again as he scaled the stairs, his eyes scanning the area for any signs of his friend.

He came to a stop outside Frankie’s door, Esme’s screams were the loudest from inside and he didn’t even bother knocking. Either Frank was dead asleep or…

He didn’t wanna consider the alternative.

“FISH!!” He yelled upon finding his friend on the floor.

Frankie was sprawled on the floor, on his front with his head to one side. Eyes barely open. Esmerelda was on the floor beside him however looked to be unharmed. Clearly, Frank had managed to put her down gently as he collapsed.

Ben felt for a pulse and found one. It was weak but it was there. So, he scooped the baby up and lay her in the Moses basket in the corner before returning his attention to Fish, moving him so that he was laying on his back before pulling out his phone and dialling 911.

He spoke as calmly to the operator as he could whilst monitoring the pilot’s pulse and breathing. Putting the phone on loudspeaker and starting compressions the moment Frankie stopped breathing.

“Come on man… don’t do this to me.” Ben sobbed as he worked tirelessly to get his friend breathing again “Don’t leave Titch and Esme man…” Benny begged, “Don’t leave me!”

Finally, just as the paramedics arrived, Frank took a weak breath and then the rest was a blur. Ben called Will and told him to get to the hospital before attending to the crying baby beside him. He didn’t go in the ambulance. He knew he needed to get Esme fed and changed first. But as soon as that was done he had the baby bag packed and he was gone. Praying he wouldn’t be greeted by the news that he’d lost his best friend.

Present day…

Benny chewed nervously at his thumbnail as he waited for his friend to wake up. The doctors had lightly sedated him when he had grown more confused as he'd come to. That had been a little over twelve hours ago. Ben had waited at the hospital, sending you home with Esme and promising to ring you the moment he woke up.

Then three hours ago he was finally allowed to see Fish. The doctors had decided that it would be good for him to see a friendly face as he came to. So He sat and waited patiently for his best friend to come to. His nails taking a beating from how on end his nerves were.

A soft whimper grabbed his attention and Ben was on his feet in an instant, clutching Frankie's hand as he smiled sweetly at his waking companion.

"You with my Fishcake?" He asked softly, grinning like a loon when Frank weakly nodded, his eyes cracking open and revealing slivers of those brown orbs Ben had missed so much "Take it easy buddy. I'm here."

Frankie lugged his way to consciousness. It felt like he was walking through treacle. His limbs were heavy and his head filled with cottonwool yet slowly but surely, things got lighter and clearer. Ben waited patiently at his side. Watching as he grew more and more aware as each minute slugged by.

"Welcome back brother." He said as Frankie finally cracked his eyes open fully and rolled his head to look at him "You gave us a scare."

"I..." Frankie trailed off as his brows drew together, the memories of what happened slithering back through.

You, standing there smiling with your outstretched hand. Pleading for him to return to you. Then the lights. The blinding lights and the pain as the car struck him. He was going to see you again. He was supposed to die.

The sound of his heart rate increasing made Benny call out for help, tears in his eyes as he feared that his friend might code again.

"Mr Morales, you need to calm down." Urged the doctor as they noted his vitals "This isn't good for you."

"Why." Frankie sobbed as he started to thrash in the bed "I should have died."

"Fish, what do you-"

"I was going to see her again." He sobbed.

"Who, Mel?" Benny asked as he stepped to his friend's side and clutched his hand, hoping to ground his friend "Frankie, Mel's gone."

"I was going to see Titch." He all but whispered "I was going back to her."

This made Benny pause. His brows pulled together in confusion at what his friend had just said. What did he mean he was 'going back to her'?

"What do you mean Fish?"

"Sir, I think you need to leave." The doctor urged, a nurse then pulling the man from the room so that the doctors could do their work. But he didn't leave the doorway of Frank's room.

"Mr Morales, do you know where you are?" The doctor asked but Frankie didn't answer, he just continued to sob and his heart monitor continued to chime "Mr Morales, you're in the hospital." The doctor stated "You suffered a massive heart attack. You had a heart transplant but fell into a coma. You have been out for almost two months."

"No... No, I was hit by a car." Frankie choked "I should have died... I... I wanted to see her again."

Benny's heart broke as he listened to his friend.

"You weren't hit by a car Mr Morales." The doctor urged, his head snapped to the nurse to his left and giving her a nod.

"You're lying."

The nurse then injected something into Frankie's IV and the man's thrashing grew sluggish. Ben could see from where he was standing that his friend's eyes were starting to grow heavy and in a manner of seconds, the room was all most silent again. Slowly but surely the medical staff started to file out, the doctor stopping beside Ben with an unreadable expression on his face.

Ben waited patiently for the man to speak, his heart pounding against his ribs as his eyes flitted between Fish and his doctor.

"What happened Doc?" Ben asked, his voice soft and vulnerable.

"He appears to be confused.' The doctor started "He... It seems that he experienced some sort of vivid dream when he was in his coma. He is convinced he was hit by a car."

"What can we do?"

"I think the best thing to do is keep him mildly sedated for now. Just to keep him calm until he gets his head around what actually happened to him." The man said as he scrapped a large hand over his stubbled jaw "He can't afford to get worked up like that again. His heart is still in a fragile state."

"Do you think seeing his daughter might help?" Benny asked and the doctor nodded.

"Sure. Anything positive like that should help him relax."

Benny nodded, giving the doctor a weak smile as his eyes zoned in on his friend.

"Thanks, doc."

"He'll be out for a few hours." The man said as he placed a friendly hand on Ben's arm "Get a coffee and something to eat. You're no good to him if you're not taking care of yourself."

...

Your heart leapt out of your chest as your phone started to ring loudly from the table beside you. Noting Ben's name on the screen, you answered it immediately as your pulsed raced.

"Ben?"

"He woke up."

"He did?" You choked as you covered your mouth with a shaky hand, trying to smother the sob that threatened to escape your lips.

"He was all confused and shit. Got a bit worked up and they had to sedate him again." Ben said, his voice wobbling as he spoke "They wanna keep him mildly sedated for now. Something about keeping him calm as he comes around. I guess being on pause for nearly two months can screw your brain up a little."

You chuckled at that. Your coma hasn't quite gone on that long but you had certainly been a little confused when you'd woken up.

Six weeks earlier...

Your sensations returned in waves but everything sounded muffled and felt heavy. Your limbs seemed to be made of lead, your fingers were all that seemed to want to obey your commands. The sounds around you were distorted. Almost like you were hearing them from underwater.

You managed to moan, hoping that it would give you a little more control over your body but alas you remained somewhat pinned in place, so you drifted to sleep again in the hopes that when you woke again things would be a little clearer.

...

Benny had wanted to shout from the rooftops when you'd started to show signs of waking up. The past few days had been hell for him. He and Will had split their time between your room and Frankie's. Neither of them wanted to leave either party on their own and when you started to twitch and moan, Benny finally started to feel a semblance of hope. So he clung to that, along with your hand as he waited for you to open your eyes.

That happened three hours later.

"Ben?" Your question was more of a whisper but he heard it all the same.

He placed Esme in her Pram and practically sprinted to your side, smiling sweetly at you as you blinked up at him.

"Hey, you." He said sweetly "Have a nice nap?"

"What happened?" You asked, your voice getting a little stronger but still scratching from weeks of disuse.

Benny grabbed the water bottle from the side table and popped in the straw that had been sitting beside it. Then bringing it to you your lips, he cupped your head and helped you lift it so that you could take soothing sips of the tepid liquid. You held your hand up when you'd had your fill and Benny placed the bottle down with one hand as his other gently lay your head back against the pillow.

"What happened?" You repeated and he sighed, how brow pulling together as he searched for the words.

"You uh... You haemorrhaged." He stated plainly "Pretty bad. It was touch and go for a bit but you fought... Small but mighty." He chuckled as his hand started to stroke your hair "You have been out for a few weeks but you needed the rest."

"Frankie and the baby okay?" This question made Ben's heart shatter. Standing he turned to the pram that was just out of your eye line and scooped up Esme, kissing her little nose when she started to fuss.

"I got little Esme right here." Ben stated as he brought your daughter into view and you sobbed at the sight of her. A head of brown hair and the cutest little plump cheeks.

"Oh, my angel." You choked as you press the button on your bed so that you were more upright, accepting your daughter into your waiting arms with a smile "Oh look at you." You cooed, memorising everything about her "You look just like your Papi." You chuckled as you looked at Ben and beamed "Where is Fish?"

Ben's expression grew solemn again and there was no hiding it from you now.

"Ben?... Where is Francisco?" You pushed and he sobbed.

"He's um... He's here."

"Where?"

"Titch?" He pleaded but you needed an answer.

"Benny... Tell me where he is!"

"He uh... He suffered a massive heart attack." Ben started, his eyes settling on Esme as she slept in your arms "They uh... They got him on life support. Waitin' for a heart."

"No..." You trailed off, tears flowing freely as you looked down you your daughter, envious of how clueless she was to all this.

"He'll die without one."

"No." You sobbed harder, your head dropping as you screwed your eyes shut and let yourself fall apart "We were supposed to do this together." You cried "We were supposed to be a family."

Present day...

You arrived at the hospital as soon as you could. You'd thrown a bag together for Esme, grabbed her pram and left, desperate to see Frankie awake.

His room was empty when you arrived. You looked around, trying to catch sight of him but coming up blank. He must've gone to get coffee. You pushed Esme's pram into Franks's room, tucking it in the corner so it didn't get in the way and then you took your place at Frankie's side. You didn't have to wait long for him to wake.

He was sluggish, his eyes fluttering open and closed for a while. The sedatives were making it hard for him to surface.

"That's it, Frankie." You said softly as you squeezed his hand and smiled sweetly at him "Come back to me."

This statement was like a bucket of ice water over Frankie's head. His head snapped towards you and his eyes filled with tears as he seemed to study every inch of your face.

"Titch." He choked, blinking furiously in an attempt to keep himself awake and you nodded.

"That's right, just come back to me my Frankie."

"I tried." He choked and you grew confused "I'm so sorry Titch." He sobbed and you stepped back as a hand pulled you away from him "Why won't you leave me be."

"Frankie-"

"Just leave me alone." He cried "Please..."

You turned on your heel and practically sprinted towards the door, colliding with Ben's solid chest. He scooped Esme up with practised ease with one arm and led you out the room with the other, leaving the doctors and nurses to work Franky.

"He... I don't..." You can't find the words, too heartbroken to string a coherent sentence together so Ben just holds you till you calm down. Giving himself a chance to figure out how was going to tell you what he needed to.

"Titch... There's uh... Well, there's something you should know." He said when your cries finally quietened "Fish he uh... Well, it seems like he experienced a pretty vivid dream in his coma."

You looked up at him with a bemused expression, head tilting to one side as you waited for him to continue.

"When he woke up, he was rambling about getting hit by a car." He continued "I guess that's what he'd dreamt just before he woke up."

"What are you trying to tell me, Ben?" You pushed and Ben let out a long sigh as he looked down at Esme in his arm.

"Frankie thinks you're uh... Well, he-"

"Spit it out, Ben." You grumbled, unable to take the suspense any longer.

"He thinks you're dead."

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hwabang · 8 months

Text

Break Up + Make Up - Yang Jungwon

Summary: You ended your relationship with Jungwon because HYBE told you to. After a lot of mutual heartbreak and some dangerous situations, you realize this was all a big stupid fucking misunderstanding

Genre: angst + fluff ending

Warnings: fem!reader, idol!reader x idol!jungwon, '03 reader, established relationship, breakup, cursing, arguing, dieting, fainting, starvation, mention of weight, bad eating habits, slight mentions of poor mental health, hospital, mention of sasaeng/crazy engenes lol, reader breaks jungwon's heart but temporarily!, one slight mention of reader not being korean, exes to lovers

Author’s Note: feeling angsty lol. i kinda wanna make "break up + make up" a series for the enhypen members i write for, let me know if you'd be interested!

Word Count: ~ 6k (oop)

NOTICE: (the names used for side characters are fake names, with the exception of the enhypen members. the fake names don't represent any real life characters.)

(gif not mine!)

You and Jungwon have been dating for 4 months now, but you two have been in love with each other for a while. The only thing that had stopped you from dating earlier is the fact that Jungwon's a year younger than you, and neither of you wanted to talk about the feelings until he became an adult in Korea.

Unfortunately, last month some pictures of you and Jungwon on a date were leaked, but your companies decided to go ahead and confirm the relationship since both ENHYPEN and your group were doing quite well right now. You were expecting the hate from crazy fans, but you weren't expecting as much support as you guys were getting. It was an overwhelming amount of love and you two couldn't be more happier.

People who didn't know you and Jungwon would say you two are moving too fast, but the ones who know you well know that you two have been head over heels in love with each other for so long. Sure, your relationship is very established and you two are really serious for a 4 month couple, but who cares? You and Jungwon are taking it at the pace that feels right, and since you two are fully committed to each other and love each other immensely, nothing wrong with moving "too fast".

Currently you were tidying up your dorm with the rest of your members. Today marks the first couple of days you guys get off, and some cleaning of the dorm was much needed right now so that was everyone's first task. After this you were prepared to spend the next 4 off days with your precious Wonnie.

"Hey Y/N," your bandmate Mijeong called out, walking back into the dorm. "Come here?"

You turned the sink off and patted your hands dry then walked into the living room. "Yeah what's up?"

"I just went to pick up our mail and you have a letter from HYBE."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "HYBE? And it's addressed to me?"

"Yeah, look." She handed the letter to me while sorting through everything else.

"Huh that's weird.. I'll open it later. Anything else for me?"

"Uh.. no more letters, but the front desk said you have a package from (your/country) downstairs; maybe your parents sent you something."

You nodded relaying the information. "Great, I'll go pick it up later. Thanks Mijeong-ah."

You went back to washing and drying the dishes; your last task for today. Once you were done, you took the letter up to your room. Your roommate was doing the laundry so you had a couple minutes to yourself. You sat on your bed and sighed, opening the letter not thinking much of it. Oh how wrong you were.

"Y/N-ssi,

"Hello, this is HYBE Corporation.

We are sending you this letter to inform you that you must end your relationship with our artist, ENHYPEN's Jungwon, as soon as possible.

The relationship being out in the public has decreased ENHYPEN's popularity and put our artists' safety at risk. Furthermore, Jungwon-ssi seems to be losing his focus a lot more after your relationship started. You both have worked very hard to get where you are; we wouldn't want either of your careers being sabotaged because of this relationship.

We kindly request that you end your relationship with him without letting him know that we have asked you to do so. Once you have done so and Jungwon-ssi lets us know, HYBE will personally put out a statement confirming your breakup to the public.

We understand that this might be tough for you to do so. It is solely for the sake of both your group's and ENHYPEN's careers that you all worked so hard for. Idols don't date for this reason; it's quite hard to maintain personal and professional lives. If you start to receive backlash or dangerous threats for the breakup, HYBE Corporation will provide you and your members with top notch security.

Thank you for understanding and for your cooperation.

Best regards,

HYBE Corporation & ENHYPEN Team"

Hot tears were streaming down your face. HYBE wants you to breakup with Jungwon without letting him know they're the reason for the breakup? HYBE were the ones who coerced your company into agreeing to confirm the relationship!

So many things were going through your mind.

You didn't wanna do this; Jungwon would NEVER wanna do this.

However...

You knew ENHYPEN were in danger because of this. Not only did all the past idol-dating horror stories scare you, but you knew haters were sending trucks to HYBE asking them to remove Jungwon from the group.

You can't let Jungwon's dream be sacrificed.

So many things were going through your mind.

But you knew what had to be done.

After a text to Jungwon asking him if you could go over to his dorm tonight, you asked the rest of his members to give you and Jungwon the dorm to yourselves for about 30 minutes.

"Oh?" Heeseung exclaimed and you could practically hear the smirk on his face. "Y'all really can't get enough of each other huh?"

You couldn't even crack a fake smile at his joke so you just shook your head, as if he could see it. "No it's not that.. we have something to talk about."

Heeseung abruptly stopped laughing and it felt as if his entire demeanor changed"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"N-no not really.. I just really need to talk to him."

"Something happened. Talk to me Y/N-yah. What's wrong?"

You couldn't do anything but shake your head. "'Im fine Oppa, really. There's just a conversation Jungwon and I need to have that's why I need the dorm for a bit. Just half an hour.. please?" Without hesitation he agreed to get the members out of the dorm for a bit.

8pm finally came around and you rang the doorbell. The door was swung open and you were greeted by a beaming cheeky smile on his face. "Hi sweetie!"

Immediately he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck, hugging him tightly, knowing this would be the last one.

"H-hey Jungwon-ah.."

He moved to the side as you let yourself in, taking your shoes off and walking into the living room behind him. He looked so excited to see you here.. little did he know you were about to break his fragile heart.

"You know," he started. "I was fully prepared for our mini vacation to start tomorrow, but I'm so happy you came over tonight! Now we have even more time together!"

You gave him a sad smile. "Yeah about that.. that's what we need to talk about."

Still his smile didn't fully fade, he only tilted his head a little. "What happened? Sudden schedule? Plans with your other friends? We can still make a little time for each other baby, no worries."

"No it's not that.. you might wanna sit down."

Now Jungwon was worried, worrying that something really bad happened to you as you hadn't smiled once since you walked through the door. He sat down cautiously right next to you. "What happened princess?" he cooed and held your chin gently. "Who's got my baby so sad, hmm?"

His caring nature brought tears to your eyes but you quickly wiped them away. "Jungwon.. I.. I want to break up."

Time felt like it stopped for Jungwon. It felt as if everything stopped; his breath, his heart, even the trees that were blowing in the breezy wind out his window felt like they were frozen in place.

".. What are you saying baby?" he said slightly chuckling. "If this is one of your pranks again–"

"It's not. I'm serious.. I want to break up."

Jungwon's facial expression was unreadable. Was he angry? Sad? Disappointed? You don't know. But whatever it was, it was far from him being okay with this.

"Okay," Jungwon sighed. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked back into your eyes. "Let's talk this through. What happened that made you feel like you need to take such a drastic decision?"

Of course you had thought about what your reason was gonna be. You knew Jungwon well enough to know that whatever the reason was, he'd opt to working it out with you versus losing you. There was only one reason that would hurt him enough, reassure him enough that the breakup wasn't a haste decision; a reason that would make him not want to be near you at all which is what needed to happen.

"..I fell out of love with you."

If the feeling of time stopping was what Jungwon felt when you sprung the break up on him, he didn't know what the hell this feeling was now. "Y-you what?? You.. don't love me?"

You were never a good liar; your trembling voice usually gave away your true intentions. How could you blatantly lie to your lover? Just by simply nodding of course.

"Say something Y/N-yah." Jungwon's jaw slightly clenched, you could tell he was holding back an enormous amount of emotions. "Y-you can't just.. you can't just walk in here after 4 happy months and tell me you don't love me anymore!"

Jungwon's shouting never scared you. He couldn't yell at you the way he yelled at his members. You were too precious for him. "W-what do you want me to say, Jungwon.. f-feelings change."

"At least look at me while you break my heart."

You finally looked up at him to see him in a state that clearly meant he's about to break down; hands balled into fists, tears welled up in his beautiful boba eyes, jaw clenched yet somehow a slight pout formed on his lips, said lips quavering with sobs ready to come out.

"I'm looking at you.. d-do you believe me now, huh?" Your voice got a little loud at the end; you were getting defensive. You just wanted this to end. Not the relationship, but this conversation. You didn't want him to fight for you, ask you anymore questions. You just wanted to go home and cry your heart out.

Jungwon shook his head, the tears starting to fall and the quaver of his lips getting rougher. "N-no. I can't believe it. Not when we both waited so long! S-so long to finally be together.. Not when you tell me and show me every single day that you love me, and that you'll always be here for me. N-not when we've talked about a future together! Y/N, fuck, why are you doing this?!"

All his tears rushed out as soon as yours did. You whimpered, not being able to hold the sobs nor the intense eye contact with him. Your eyes went back to your lap where your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt. "I-it's the truth Jungwon.. Like I said.. feelings change..."

"And yours changed in a couple hours?" he challenged as he stood up from the couch. "You were texting me about our plans tomorrow, telling me you can't wait to spend your days off with the love of your life!"

"I-I know what I said Yang Jungwon!" you screamed, also getting up from your seat. "You don't have to remind me."

His eyes widened. "Y-Yang Jungwon? When did you.. when do you ever call me by my full name?"

"What do you want me to call you, huh? I'm breaking up with you for God's sake!"

"So why are you crying, baby?! You're breaking up with me because you don't love me but you can'd do it without crying??" Jungwon stepped closer to you, grabbing one of your hands and intertwining your fingers. "Something's off.. w-what's going?"

You had to amp your acting skills up; you realized Jungwon knew you too well. "Nothing's going on! God, I'm just an emotional person and you know this! Just because I don't love you anymore doesn't mean I'm not gonna miss having a boyfriend! That's why I'm crying Jungwon; because of the memories and the romantic feelings not because of you!"

Jungwon winced, clearly hurt by your harsh words. You wanted to pull him into you, but you knew damn well you couldn't do it.

"What is it? What made you fall out of love with me? Is it th lack of time? The publicity? Are you still hung over about me being a year younger? God, it's not even that much.. I've been doing my best to not let you feel it, no?"

"Jungwon, it's none of that. I'm just.. n-not into you anymore."

"Bullshit," he spat. "I don't believe it for a second. I know you're fucking into me."

You shook your head, knowing this was going nowhere. Jungwon would fight for your relationship no matter what and you knew it damn well. "W-whatever Jungwon.. that's the only reason I came here. D-don't contact me anymore after this." You turned to walk towards the door. You had to get out of here before you cave in.

You didn't get far, Jungwon immediately grabbing your wrist and turning you towards him. His tears were coming in faster, dribbling down his neck into his pajama shirt. "Is someone making you do this?"

Jackpot.

You tried not to show it in your face; trying to use what you learned from the one and only acting session your company made you do. "What are you on about now."

"Is someone making you do this," he repeated. "Are you being threatened? Were you influenced?.. No fucking way.. tell me HYBE didn't do this..."

You pulled your hand out of his group. "How easy do you think I am, that I'll get influenced by someone else to breakup with you?"

Very, apparently.

"Get it through your head Yang Jungwon; I don't want to be with you anymore."

You turned around again to leave but were immediately pulled into a firm chest. Jungwon wrapped his arms around you as he weeped into your shoulder, his anger now turning into complete sadness.

"Y-Y/N-yah.." he whimpered. "Please.. d-don't leave me.. you were the missing piece in my life that I needed to be 100% happy! You're my lifeline.. h-how can I survive without my lifeline..."

He turned you around to face him, his hands on your shoulders. Your heart was already broken, but the pieces broke into even smaller, microscopic ones once you saw the kicked puppy look on his face with the biggest pout and the biggest teardrops. "I-it's okay if you don't love me anymore. I-I'll do my best to make you fall in love with me again. I'll do whatever I need to, just d-don't go..."

You shouldn't change yourself for anyone Jungwon-ah, you wanted to say.

You wanted to say a lot, mainly how this is all a lie; how you still love him.

But you couldn't.

You shouldn't.

You shoved his hands off of you. "Just let me go Goddammit!"

He was taken aback by your actions and voice volume. "Y/Y/N.."

You pinched the bride of your nose, letting out a sigh that sounded annoyed. "Yang Jungwon, do you hear me? We're. Done. I don't want to be with you anymore." You went to put your shoes on as he followed you with slumped shoulders, a mantra of your name falling from his lips. "Delete my number. This is goodbye Yang Jungwon."

"Y/N!"

You ran out of his dorm and straight into the van that was waiting for you. As the door closed, you let all the tears and sobs out. Your heart cried loudly, you screamed into your hands as you couldn't control your tears.

A tissue box was handed to you. "Here," a soft voice said. You took the tissue boxes without looking up at your manager. "You alright?"

You shook your head. "I can't be Leo... I-I love him so much! I hated telling him that I don't!"

Leo gave you a sad smile, sighing as he started the engine up. "I don't understand why HYBE would do this.. maybe Jungwon really was losing focus.. whatever it is, you'll be okay in the end Y/N."

You got back to the dorms and all of your members sensed something horribly wrong. They followed you to yours and Haydee's shared bedroom and forced the story out of you.

Mijeong smacked the desk she was sitting at out of anger. "Why would HYBE do that?! It makes no sense!"

Your youngest member Jaein was sitting right next to you, letting you cuddle into her as she rubbed your back. "It really doesn't... HYBE can't be that ruthless, right?"

You shrugged, sitting up from your position and looking straight at Haydee. "I know you're good friends with Jake. He'll definitely contact you. He can't know anything about HYBE contacting me, please."

Your prediction turned out right as an hour later, Haydee's phone rang with Jake's name displaying on the bright screen. She went downstairs onto the street to answer the call, not wanting to discuss it near you as it's a fresh wound. "Yeah Jake."

"Yoi~ what the hell is going on?"

'I don't know," Haydee sighed. "How much have you heard from Jungwon?"

"Well, he wouldn't talk at first. When we came back to the dorm he was on the floor in the living room, in like a fetus position and crying a fuck ton. It took some coaxing from Jay for him to tell us that Y/N came over and broke up with him because she doesn't love him anymore.. but that's not the full truth, is it Dee?"

Haydee was conflicted, but girl code first; she knew it well. "Look, I'm not gonna add more fuel to the burning fire.. It's not my place to discuss this with you but whatever Y/N did, she did for a reason."

"She still loves him though right? Just tell me that much so I can comfort him."

"I was told specifically not to tell you jack shit bro."

Jake groaned. "Fine fine.. whatever you or Y/N or anyone says I refuse to believe it. All of us refuse to believe it; no way Y/N's out of love with Jungwon. They're a match made in heaven!"

"And I agree Jake, but we can't really do much besides be there for them."

"Nah you're right.. Uh, Jungwon wanted me to tell you one thing though. It's actually a favor."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Don't let Y/N forget to take care of herself. We both know.. actually everyone knows, how bad this girl is at taking care of herself. So he just wanted me to tell you and the rest of the girls to take extra care of her."

"Yeah Jake, tell Jungwon and the rest of the guys we'll be keeping an eye out on her. Nothing will get passed us."

And that's where Haydee was wrong. It had been about 15 days since the breakup and so much had changed.

HYBE announced the breakup the same day and since then, the hate towards Jungwon had stopped completely. HYBE stated the reason for the breakup to be conflicting schedules, so neither party would get hate.

Another thing that changed though, was you. You had done a weight check-in today and your managers were shocked to see you lost 10 lbs in two weeks.

"I'm fine Leo," you repeated for the fifth time as he walked behind you into the convenience store. "Stop babying me, you're a year older than me."

"This is literally my job Y/N. Let me do my job."

You rolled your eyes and went to the snack section, picking up a pack of saltine crackers. "Then let me do mine. I'm an idol, I have to watch my weight."

Leo watched as you put your lunch down at the register– if he could even call it a lunch. A pack of saltine crackers, a cup of ice, a zero coke, and a bottle of water. He eyed you as he got the company card out of his wallet. "Shouldn't you grab like, I don't know, an actual lunch item?"

"This is enough," you protested. "I'm not even that hungry. Now stop before I start coming to the convenience store without you or any protection."

With a defeated sigh, Leo payed for your stuff and then grabbed the bag, walking out with you as you two headed back to the company. "How's this enough when all you had for breakfast was coffee? The whole point of me bringing you here was for you to get actual food Y/N.. we're all worried about you. "

"Don't be, I feel fine! I've been so energized since I stopped eating all the food I was eating before."

"That's your fatigue talking. You're gonna end up crashing, I'm telling you."

"I hear you and your worries, but I'm fine. Trust me." And with that, Leo let it go.

Big mistake.

The week after that was the Waterbomb Korea Festival. Because your group was performing, two months prior to the event Jungwon got tickets for all of ENHYPEN so they could come and support you guys. Jungwon was gonna return the tickets, not having the courage to face you, but all of the members insisted that it'd be quite fun to go and enjoy the festival as audience members and not artists for once. So they dragged Jungwon with them.

Jungwon had been so depressed. The past two weeks were a repeat of the same thing; he'd wake up, eat breakfast, go to the company, come back home, shower, eat dinner, talk to fans on We Verse, and then cry looking at videos and pictures he took of you till he'd fall asleep. His members didn't know what to do. They all discussed it and all 6 of them agreed that something about the breakup felt off; no way you fell out of love with Jungwon.

Jay had even come to see you at your company once. You were pretty close with Jay, him slowly becoming sort of a therapist for you once you two got close as he was quite well versed in helping you through your mental health. He was thinking that maybe you let the voices in your head get to you; maybe you felt you were not enough for Jungwon (which is so far from the truth) hence you broke up with him. But you kept giving Jay the same reason you gave Jungwon until he gave up and left after giving you some sweet words of encouragement. After that Jake, Heeseung, even Jungwon's sister had messaged you but you left all of their notifications untouched.

Jungwon had snagged pretty good seats; not too far from the stage and smack in the middle so they could get a good view of everything. They enjoyed all the acts and performances, having a genuinely good time. All the members were relieved to see Jungwon displaying a sincere smile on his face for the first time in 3 weeks.

Then your group came out and Jungwon felt his heart break all over again. Yes, partly because the breakup and your relationship were fresh wounds. But the main reason he was having a hard time holding it together was because of the way you looked.

Although everything about your outfit, hair, and makeup was perfect that day, Jungwon couldn't help but notice you lost an immense amount of weight. You usually didn't wear revealing clothing as it was out of your comfort zone, but for a festival like Waterbomb, your stylist had to put you in a halter crop top and really short shorts. So Jungwon could see a lot of your skin, and you looked so beautiful.. yet so weak.

And everyone noticed it too. "Is it just me," Niki started, "or does Y/N Noona look sick?"

Jungwon nodded and sighed disappointedly. "Yeah, she looks like she lost a lot of weight–"

"No not that Hyung," Niki interrupted. "I mean, yeah she does look like she lost too much weight but. I mean actually sick. Her face is pale and she's not performing like she usually does... like.. she's gonna faint..."

Jungwon's head snapped to you at the younger's words, now really watching you. And Niki was right, you looked sickly. You were a great performer, so it was definitely odd for you to not be fully doing the moves. Jungwon also noticed you kept looking down a lot, and then noticed you were scrunching your eyes tightly closed while doing so. Were you really going to faint??

Jungwon's question didn't go unanswered for much longer as your group's 3rd song was coming to an end. Jaein had just started singing the very ending of the song when you plopped onto the stage floor, making her scream in the middle of singing. The music stopped, the crowd went from singing and laughing to gasping and murmuring concernedly.

Jake's eyes widened. "What just happened?! Did Y/N just faint?!"

"I-I think so.." Heeseung responded.

The members (and everyone in the crowd) watched as staff rushed to you, gently picking you up and taking you back stage. Jungwon watched everything happen, completely frozen until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see one of your manager's Leo standing there with a concerned look, completely out of breath.

"Hey man," Leo greeted. "We're gonna take Y/N to the hospital, the ambulance is on the way... D-do you wanna go with her?"

Jungwon frantically nodded. "Y-yeah Hyung, please." He said goodbye to his members and then followed Leo to where you are. They had you laid on the couch with your members surrounding you; some fanning you, some just watching you to see if you'd wake up, and Haydee was walking around looking stressed as she called your family.

Jungwon slowly made his way towards you. Your members nodded and made some room for him to kneel down in front of your unconscious figure. He caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers, trying to hold his tears back the best he could. "Wh-what did you do my baby.." he whimpered to himself.

"Jungwon," the eldest of your group called out to him.

He looked up to see her standing there with your backpack in her hand. "FeiFei Noona, what is it?"

"The ambulance is almost here, our managers arranged a space for us to change her into her regular clothes; these are pretty uncomfortable. Do you want to come with me to help change her?"

"Of course Noona, anything for her." He got up and carefully picked you up bridal style as he followed FeiFei to the empty dressing room. Jungwon couldn't help but notice that you had packed one of his shirts in your bag.

By the time you were dressed the ambulance came and you were put on a stretcher and taken in. Haydee, Leo, and your main manager went with you, along with Jungwon. The rest of your members were so distraught they knew they couldn't perform so they went home.

Once you were admitted to the hospital everyone was just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for any news on you.

"Any update?" Jake asked as he called Haydee.

"No," she sighed. "The doctor and nurses have been in there with her for almost an hour.. no one has said anything."

"How's Jungwon?"

Haydee looked over at Jungwon, turning her back to him and walking a bit further away so he couldn't hear. "Not good. He's been crying and sobbing. Nothing we say is helping, although Leo is trying hard. I'll call you once we hear anything."

Not too long after, a nurse came out to the waiting room. "Are you all here for Y/N-ssi?" Everyone stood up nodding. "We just transferred her into a room. The doctor is there waiting, you all can follow me."

They walked in to the room you were in and Jungwon gasped. Your face gained some color back but you were hooked up to IVs and the sight made Jungwon wince.

The doctor greeted the four in the room with you. "Ms. Y/N is fine now," he started. "She was heavily malnourished and dehydrated. I checked her charts, and it seems she lost a dangerous amount of weight in the past month. What have her eating habits been like recently?"

And for once Jungwon couldn't answer.. he had no idea what you'd been up to the past three weeks so Leo answered. "Honestly she hasn't really been eating much.. We all try to force her but she doesn't listen. I don't know how she is at home.."

Haydee shook her head. "It's the same thing at home. She drinks juice and then goes about her day. We've gotten into so many arguments with her about this but like our manager said, she doesn't really listen."

Jungwon teared up again hearing this information and looked up to the doctor with broken eyes. "W-when will she wake up?"

"Hopefully soon," the doctor said. "We're administering saline, medicines, and some nutritional vitamins to her through IV so she should wake up soon. I'll leave you all with her for some time."

"Haydee," your main manager called out. "We gotta get you back to the dorm.. I'm sorry but you guys still have to continue with your schedules and you have a fan meet tomorrow morning."

Haydee nodded defeated. "Okay.. let's go then."

Your main manager nodded then turned to Leo. "I've already talked to ENHYPEN's manager; Jungwon is allowed to stay as long as he'd like. You stay until she wakes up, and when Jungwon-ssi wants to go home take him. Call me if she wakes up."

Leo nodded as Haydee and his boss left the room. "Yes Hyung." Once they were gone he came up to Jungwon who was now sat by your bed, playing with the hand that wasn't hooked to machines. He put an encouraging hand on Jungwon's shoulder. "You okay?"

He sniffled and nodded. "I just.. I don't know what to feel.. I-I'm so mad at her but m-myself too..."

"Yeah I get it man.. I know your manager gave the okay for you to stay here as long as you want but my advice? Don't stay too long. Maybe it's selfish of me to say it but I don't want HYBE coming at Y/N again."

Jungwon slowly turned his head to look at Leo with disbelief written all over his face. "What do you mean Hyung.. what do you mean HYBE will come for her again."

Leo sighed, realizing he fucked up. "She'll kill me for telling you, but here." Leo took his phone out and showed Jungwon a picture of the letter HYBE sent you.

The more Jungwon read it the more he seethed with anger. He stood up abruptly. "What? How could HYBE do this?!"

Leo shrugged. "We were confused too, since HYBE were the ones who wanted to confirm your relationship in the first place. Don't be mad at Y/N; understand she did this to save your career."

"Why would I be mad at her?" he shook his head and turned to look at your unconscious figure. He caressed your cheek as a pout formed on his lips. "My baby.. I knew you still loved me.. but you put yourself through so much just for me.." He kissed your forehead before handing Leo his phone back. "I'll be back Hyung.. I've got a phone call to make. Send me that picture please."

Jungwon stepped out of the room to call his manager, accusing him of ruining his relationship but to his surprise, he was also shocked to hear the real reason why you broke up with him. Jungwon then sent the picture to his manager who immediately contacted his higher-ups at HYBE. "I'll call you back Jungwon-ah," he said before hanging up.

Jungwon paced around in front of the hospital room, biting his lips as a way to keep his anger at bay. HYBE did this without telling his manager, without telling him, and for what? And out of nowhere? None of it made sense. As soon as his manager called back Jungwon immediately picked up. "Hyung what did you find out."

"Jungwon.. that letter wasn't sent by HYBE."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What? What do you mean? The address, the logo, it's even signed by HYBE!"

"Jungwon look closely at the picture.. the 'H' in the logo is tilted."

Jungwon took the phone off his ear to zoom in on the picture and sure enough, his manager was right. He put the phone back to his ear. "Hyung, I'm so confused. You're right but what does this mean?"

"Someone sent that letter to Y/N pretending to be HYBE to sabotage your relationship"

Jungwon's eyes widened. "What? Who would do such a thing?"

"My guess is a crazy fan? Sasaeng? I'm not sure but HYBE is working on it as we speak. We'll get to the bottom of this. You stay with Y/N and her manager and do not leave the hospital alone. We don't know if anyone is trying to hurt you or Y/N."

Immediately Jungwon went back to your hospital room, relaying this new information to Leo who was equally shocked. The two couldn't do anything about it so they just sat around your hospital room waiting for you to wake up. Jungwon in the mean time was updating his members and his sister about what he had just found out.

Another three hours later, you had slowly opened your eyes. You were quite confused as you looked around to see you were in a hospital room, with machines hooked to you. In the car corner of the room you saw Leo and Jungwon sitting on the couch scrolling through their phones. You didn't know what was going on, so you mustered all the strength you had to call out Jungwon's name hoarsely.

Immediately he looked up and practically chucked his phone on the couch before sprinting over to you. "Y-Y/N! You're awake!" His face lit up with joy and relief as he sat down next to you, taking your free hand and kissing it. "Thank God!"

Leo walked over to you and smiled."How you doing kiddo?"

"I'm fine.. what happened? Weren't we performing today?"

Leo nodded. "You were yeah. Until you fainted on stage."

Your eyes widened. "W-what?! I fainted?"

"The doctor said you were heavily malnourished and dehydrated. I told you right? That you'd end up crashing? You didn't listen now look where we are." Leo shook his head in disappointment before ruffling your hair. "Glad you're awake though. I'm gonna go find the doctor so you guys can have some alone time.. you two really need to talk."

After Leo left you hesitantly looked at Jungwon. "Jungwon.."

He gave you a sad smile as he caressed your hand. "I'm glad you're awake."

You sighed. "I'm sorry Jungwon."

"For which part? The part where you didn't take care of yourself? Or the part where you lied to me and broke up with me because of HYBE?"

You widened your eyes. "H-how did you–"

"What were you thinking princess? Why would you tell me you don't love me? Did you want me to start hating you?"

You slowly nodded. "I-I did what I had to do Jungwon... your life was in risk, your members lives were at risk; your careers were at risk! You worked so hard to get here, I couldn't be selfish and take that from you."

"But you were selfish! You took yourself away from me!" he exclaimed. Jungwon wiped his tears before continuing. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I was told not to.."

Jungwon sighed, coming closer to you and he caressed your cheek. "Baby.. Leo Hyung showed me the letter so I contacted my manager who knew nothing of it. Then he talked to HYBE and.. they said they didn't send it."

Your heart stopped. "What? What do you mean?"

"So I spoke to my manager a little earlier.. one of my sasaengs sent that letter to you impersonating HYBE."

"Are you serious?!" you almost yelled. "I ended our relationship because of a sasaeng?!"

Jungwon sadly nodded. "Yeah baby.. But HYBE found her and she's having charges pressed against her for this whole mess. We don't know how she found your address so she's got that against her too."

You sighed taking in all of that information and then you suddenly started crying. You pulled Jungwon to you and wrapped your free arm around him. "I-I'm so sorry Jungwon!"

Your sobs brought tears to his eyes again and he too started crying as he gently hugged you back. "Shh.. it's okay.. you didn't do it on purpose.. you did it to save me and as much as I hate it, I'll always appreciate that baby.." He kissed your forehead before letting go and sitting next to your bed again. "Now let's talk about your health.. why did you do this Y/N-yah.."

You shrugged, not really knowing what to tell him. "I don't really know.. I just, didn't feel lie eating I guess."

He shook his head at your reasoning. "Doesn't matter. Eating is a basic human need.. even if you don't feel like eating you should eat something. And Leo Hyung told me about your "lunches"; you think saltines and juice are enough to fill you up for the day, hmm?" he lightly scolded.

"S-sorry Jungwon-ah.."

He sighed as he felt the tears coming back and he looked at you completely dejected. "Please baby.. promise me you'll never do this again.. Please, just eat.."

You felt so bad for everything you put Jungwon through in the past couple weeks, your heart was breaking more than ever. "Jungwonnie," you cooed. "Come here."

Immediately he caught your drift and stood up to lean over your body and kiss you. You two passionately kissed for a couple seconds before he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. "Be my girlfriend again Y/N," he sniffed. "Please... be mine forever."

You nodded and pecked his lips shortly. "I love you Jungwon."

Jungwon sighed, missing your voice telling him that. "I know, I know my baby.. and I love you too."

#yall know how hard it is to find sad jungwon gifs #happy virus frfr #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen #enhypen jungwon #yang jungwon #jungwon #jungwon reactions #jungwon imagines

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daydreamingmia · 2 months

Text

Home & Bloopers🤪

Walker Scobell X Reader | Series | You Belong With Me🔱 Part 11

A/n: I'm going to skip a little because I don't want to deal with Walker having to leave again...I can't deal with it😭

You were 5 minutes until landing! You haven't see Walker in over a month! You were so excited!!

When you landed you grabbed your stuff as fast as you could and ran off of the airplane.

"Y/n!" Walker exclaimed as the both of you ran up to eachother

"Ow!" You bounce off of eachother and both fall to the ground

"Oh Walker I missed you so much!" You both scoot over to eachother to kiss and hug

"I missed you soo much Wise Girl!" He hugged you so tight. He never wanted to let you go again

He helps you up and and into the car. The plan was to grab some sweets then go watch the Percy Jackson bloopers.

"Welcome back y/n! We missed you" Aryan hugged you

"Y/n is here?!" You could hear Walker excitedly ask

You saw her run around the corner and wrap you in a hug

"I missed you sooo much y/n/n!" She exclaimed

"I missed you more!" You reply with a big smile on your face

"Hey y/n! How was the trip?" Charlie asked coming from the other room

"Good! How was Walker?" You ask you and Walker now side by side with your arms around eachother

"Annoying!" Everyone laughed in unison as Walker fake offense

"Do want some snacks we have blue Takis, jelly beans, Jolly Ranchers, sour belts...oreos" Aryan offered looking at Walker for the last one

"I'll have the oreos" You smirk at Walker

"DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY OREOS!" Walker demands

"But don't you love me?" You fake pout

"Yes...but not enough to give you my oreos" Walker says like it's obvious

"*gasps* rude" You out your hand on you chest like you're offended

You grab the Takis, Jolly Ranchers and the oreos

"Hands off!" Walker snatches the oreos out of your hand

"Relax you oreo addict. I was bringing them for you" You roll your eyes

"Oh...oops" He replies

You go and sit down. Dior on your right and Walker on your left. Aryan next to Walker Charlie next to Dior.

The recorder started and so did the video

-----------BLOOPERS-----------

It was the scene where Annabeth pushes Percy into the water

"Listen...Percy...I'm sorry" You push Walker put you pushed him way too hard and he trips

"Oh! Are you okay?!" You run up to Walker's side

"What are you the Hulk?" Walker laughs as you lift him up

"Sorry" You dust him off

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault you don't know your own strength" He chuckles

"When do we start?" Walker screws up

"Cut!"

"What is it?" Walker giggles

"When do we leave" You yell

"Okay"

"Where do we leave?"

"That doesn't even make sense!!" You yell from across the set

"Shut up!"

"Where do we start?"

"You're such an idiot!" You yell again

"Thank for your input! It's so helpful" Walker says sarcastically

"When do we sta-ahhh! I'm never going to get this right!"

You walk up to Walker and slap him and grab your face

"IT'S WHEN. DO. WE. LEAVE!!! GET IT RIGHT SEAWEED BRAIN!!"

"When do we leave?"

"Cut!"

"YESSS!!!!! WE WOULDVE BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT IT IT WEREN'T FOR ME! YOU'RE WELCOME!"

"Knock it off shortie!" Walker comes up to you jokingly

"You wanna fight blondie?!" You put your hand in your fist

"Yeah! Let's fight!"

"Don't do it Walker! Y/n will mop the floor with you!" Dior yells from across the set

"I can take her" He put his fists up too

"Can you though?" Aryan questioned

"No" Walker put down his fists and fake pouted

"Don't be sad you're a wimp Walker" you pat him on the shoulder

The scene where Percy picks Annabeth

"I have selected our most compelling candidates, from which you will choose two to join you on this quest and ensure that we succeed."

"Y/n." Walker says looking at you not even realizing what he said

"Umm...Walker you're supposed to say Annabeth." Glynn whispers

"What did I say?"

"Y/n"

"Oh. Oops" Walker tries to play it off

"Oooo! Walker can't get y/n off his mind" Aryan smirks

"Shut up" Walker glares as you blush and look at your feet

The bus scene

"Okay, I'm gonna go get us some snacks" you say

"I’ll come with you"

"No, you’ll stay right there"

'Why? It smells terrible back here"

"Monsters can’t smell you through that, so that’s where I want you"

"I wanna vote. Who thinks that we should all go get to breathe fresh air and buy our own snacks?"

"There’s no voting. Chips and sodas okay for you guys?"

"I don’t think you should just get to decide we don’t vote."

"I’m sorry to hear that."

"You're boss like y/n" Walker just looks at you still in character as you break character and laugh

"What?" Walker acts innocent

The bus scene again

"♪ Oh, golly, the road’s gettin’ bumpy 'cause I got me some friends ♪ ♪ Who just can’t get along ♪ ♪ Oh, dear! When the team’s gettin’ grumpy ♪ ♪ The trick to gettin’ through it is singin’ this song... ♪"

You start giggling

"Dude, what are you doing?" Walker says trying to stay in character but cracking up too

"It-" Aryan starts laughing too

"Y/n! You messed us up!" Walker turns around and jokingly yells at you

"Oh don't act like you could've made through this take" You say still giggling

Deleted scene

"Walk-oops" You spin around a Waker laughs

The scene where Annabeth and Percy hug

You hug Walker so tight and think about all the fun you've had together so your emotions are real.

"Acting y/n! We said acting!"

Percy driving a car

"How hard could it be?"

*crashes the car*

"Apparently very hard" You smirk

"Cut!"

*crashes the car again*

"My fault. That was me."

"Duh it was you're fault. I wasn't driving the car!"

"Cut!"

"That guy didn't even slow down!" *honks the horn*

You start giggling

"Cut!"

You smile at Walker and he smiles back as he crashes into the wall

"Ew. Don't look at me like that" you joke and Walker fake pouts

"Cut!"

-----End Video----

"So...what I've learned from this video is...you're mean to me" Walker looked at you

"Well apparently that's what made you fall in love with me. Besides what I've learned from this video is you've loved me since the moment you set eyes on me" You smirk at Walker and bump shoulders with him

You look in eachothers eyes and kiss

"Alright...alright...gross" Aryan grabs Walker by the shirt and pulls him back

A/n: I forgot to say...in this story you and Walker live in California😁

Love you guys! I hope you like this!! If so please like and comment💖💖

Thank you for reading!!💙💙

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staycalmandhugaclone · 3 months

Text

Identity Pt 8

Part (8) of Identity, the next arc of Doc's Misadventures! If you're new, start at the beginning with Touch Starved!

At a whopping 27,000 words, this accidentally became the biggest arc in the series. Oops. Anyway, I've certainly been a bit possessed about getting it done, so here yuh go!

Warnings: Honestly, aside from the standard guilt and regret, this chapter is mostly fluff

WC: 2,913

He held me until my breath eased back into a quiet, rhythmic ebb and flow free of even the occasional hitched gasp. At some point, he’d shifted just enough to lean his shoulder against the wall, hand lightly clasped around the back of my neck as his fingers trailed absently atop the skin peaking out between my blacks and hairline. Part of me knew I shouldn’t stay like this; that hiding against him only delayed confronting the guilt I’d see in Wolffe’s eyes, the trepidation and doubt in Cody’s, but it was so easy to pretend otherwise, to keep my face nestled against his throat and let all thought of what responsibility awaited us beyond those walls fade as seconds turned into minutes.

A crippling realization struck me in that moment. I was hiding. I was hiding from the risk of another mission and another near disaster. I was hiding from the damage that had already been caused and the inevitable destruction still awaiting me. I was hiding from the certainty that even worse might be befall those around me at any moment; doubtless of just how effortlessly that might break whatever fleeting reserves of strength somehow managed to keep me going through all that had already happened, and I knew that that very fear of them getting hurt was likely the only thing keeping me from yielding that I might be there to help them in any way I could.

But it wasn’t just the fear of impending nightmares that kept me curled in the arms of a man I remembered hiding from so many months prior, back when we were strangers and I shied from the intensity that burned in his eyes when faced with even a simple question; the deep quiet he’d fall into while considering every aspect of a problem before coming to a decision, and the unease that would fill me at the mere thought of finding myself the subject of that frightening focus. So much had happened since then, and I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything but grateful for his presence in that moment, for the calm he granted me even as reality seemed to shift with a wretched understanding.

I was hiding from Wolffe; from the way his voice had threatened to break when last we spoke, from the tension that stole the effortless visage of command from him whenever we’d found ourselves alone. I was hiding from the squad that I could no longer think of as mine, from the longing in their eyes for a time that was now gone and would never again grant us the incredible breadth of comfort once gleaned from the sense of family we had found in each other, now felt only with a nostalgia tarnished by the horrors filling these past few days.

I wanted to weep anew at the thought of those coming farewell’s weighted beneath guilt and regret and the want for a denial we knew to be useless. In that moment, I longed to let myself be weak; to beg Hunter to tell Wolffe to leave that I wouldn’t have to face him at all, and I hated myself for that weakness.

The gentle dance of his touch stilled; fingers half buried in my hair as he subtly turned his gaze toward me; waiting. I drew a slow, resigned breath, held it in a final plea for even a few seconds’ more of a delay, and finally let it out in a controlled sigh as I pulled away from him.

“Thank you.” I whispered, eyes raising to just glimpse his. His thumb swept once more along the length of my neck before finally letting his hand fall briefly to my arm and then to the floor near his waist.

“Don’t need to thank me, Doc.” He replied softly, attention carefully locked on me. My lips drew up in an empty smile as I turned to glance thoughtlessly around the room. When I began to draw movement back into my limbs, weight shifting to balance atop a knee in preparation of forcing myself to my feet, Hunter quickly reached back out to me, arm looping around my shoulders as though anticipating the way my muscles would instantly waver at that first hint of strain. I was no stranger to the way grief and fear and panic left one so hopelessly drained yet always found myself unprepared for how ruthlessly that exhaustion struck. Unphased, I leaned into his support; let myself rely on his strength in the absence of my own as he carefully pulled me up alongside him.

“If we stay in here much longer, they might get the wrong idea.” I muttered, peaking towards him to see the way his brow cocked in surprise, but he let out a quiet chuckle at the weary smirk I managed to shoot him.

“The last thing I need is Crosshair hearing those kinds of rumors from regs…” He grumbled back, and I was shocked at how easily the huff of laughter escaped me. “Are you okay to walk?” He asked, voice dropping into a whisper as though that might prevent it from robbing us of that brief, precious moment of lightness. I nodded, forcing my back straight despite the reluctance weighing down my shoulders. “Alright.” He murmured and I tried to ignore the chill left in the wake of his touch as he slowly stepped away from me.

Whatever conversation had filled the silence beyond the office walls ceased with a harsh finality the instant that door began to open. I could feel Hunter standing just behind me, attention still following my every movement as though I might tumble without warning. Cody was the first to approach me, helm tucked under his arm and expression still somehow void of the disappointment I kept expecting to find.

“Commander, I-” He dismissed whatever attempt at an apology I was still trying to piece together with a simple wave of his hand and subtle shake of his head.

“Just get to the barracks and try to get some rest.” The innate authority in his voice was softened by a compassion that I still found myself shocked to hear from someone in his position and could only respond with a small nod.

“I can come back tomorrow – answer any other questions you have.” I offered, but he again dismissed it.

“Between what you’ve already told me and what I discussed with Commander Wolffe, there’s no need for that. Just take some time; try not to lose yourself in what happened.” He barely whispered those final words, willing them into me with a quiet understanding that I couldn’t begin to pretend I didn’t need. He ducked his head in a small bow before stepping past me into his office, and I hesitated just a moment longer before turning toward Wolffe.

“Guess I overestimated myself.” I mumbled, voice straining past the stiffness in my jaw, and I wasn’t sure how to respond to the subtle feeling of Hunter’s hand coming to rest against the armor sweeping across my lower back, nor my inability to deny the depth of comfort it gave me.

“No one’s holding that against you.” He replied softly before his gaze shifted to the man behind me. “Take care of her.” There was none of that disdain he’d once regarded Hunter with; no sneer of disapproval, and Hunter mirrored that unspoken respect with a silent nod.

“Wolffe.” I called hesitantly just as he’d begun to walk away, nearly cringing at the remorse in my own voice; the threat of shame. “I don’t… Will you tell the others I’ll be okay? I just… I can’t…” How could I explain the way it would cripple me to see their guilt again? To hear their apologies despite knowing they’d done nothing to warrant such sorrow?

“Don’t worry about them.” He explained, voice quiet but no less commanding for it. “Just be safe, kid.” There… just lingering beneath that infallible composure… Even Wolffe couldn’t keep the traces of an apology from his farewell. Gaze falling lest I note even a glimmer of regret in those stern eyes, I fought to offer some trace of a smile before turning away. The sense of finality in that farewell left my breath trembling slightly, and even the way Hunter shifted nearer to me did little to ease the sense of loss twisting through my chest.

“Cody’s already granting us clearance for the mission details.” He didn’t look at me when he said it, gaze once more hidden behind that dark visor as we walked unhurried through the corridors of the Negotiator. “You don’t have to, but if you want to talk about it…” My head fell slightly at the gentle invitation, and I knew he could hear how my heartbeat quickened at the mere thought. When I gave no answer, he didn’t press, but I couldn’t dispel the tension that lingered in the silence between us.

“I don’t think Wrecker’s ever going to let you go off on another mission without us.” He added a moment later, somehow managing to sow a wisp of humor into his voice, and a small scoff escaped me.

“Even if it’s the 104th calling you again?” There was something beneath the teasing lilt in his voice, but I was too weary to try to name it.

“Given my track record, I don’t think he’ll hear any arguments from me…” I grumbled.

“I didn’t know I’d be working with them this time until after I’d boarded the transport.” His helm shifted toward me, and I could easily picture the way his brows had surely risen above eyes widened with surprise. “But, no.” I added quietly, pace unchanged as I tried not to think too deeply on the painful words slipping over my tongue. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to work with them again.” Hunter stopped walking. I didn’t, intent on not falling back into the remorse that was all too eager to overwhelm me again.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured, treading back to my side. I gave a weak shrug, collecting my thoughts a moment before responding.

“Too much has changed… Besides, they have a jedi watching their backs. Without me, you lot only have dumb luck and sheer stubbornness.” A quiet chuckle just sounded through his comm system, and I found myself joining him in with a snicker of my own as his hand reached up to lightly jostle my helmet. It was heartbreaking – that conscious understanding that I no longer belonged with the 104th, but I had harbored no doubts that it was the right choice; that the 99 had become my family in a way the others never could.

“Doc!” Wrecker’s shout boomed through the nearly empty barracks, and I barely had time to draw in breath for a reply I never got to speak before his arms locked around my waist to hoist me up in an embrace far softer than his normal hugs. Still, laughter sputtered from my lips at the welcomed display of affection I would always treasure from the man, hand automatically darting out to his shoulder to steady myself despite the knowledge that he’d never let me fall.

“It’s almost like you missed me or something.” I teased, earning a brilliant smile from him that was so utterly free of shame or hesitation as he gently set me back down.

“Those regs need to find their own nat-born next time! It’s not fair for them to just come and steal yuh away whenever they want.” He complained, hands lingering on my hips for just a moment longer to ensure I was steady before stepping back.

Two rows of double bunks stretched out before me in a room designed to hold at least a company of one hundred though the entirety of it had been reserved for our tiny squad. Crosshair stood leaning against one of the upper bunks a few rows away with his arms wrapped tightly across his chest, attention locked on me from the corner of his eye while Echo and Tech sat together atop a lower cot a mere handful of strides from the door, the telltale mess of cables strewn between them warning of some half-started project.

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.” I reassured him in a gentle sigh. “Pretty sure this was a one-time thing.” I could see the concern lingering in his gaze despite his efforts to hide it beneath his usual glee, the subtle threat of anger it fueled, and had to look away.

“Hey stranger.” I said softly. His chest bucked slightly around a sharp breath, mouth just beginning to open before closing tightly in a final bout of hesitation, but then he let out a small huff, forcing some of that tightness from his shoulders.

The instant I glimpsed him, the arc quick pushed himself to his feet, eyes torn between meeting my gaze and darting away as his jaw tensed around whatever attempt at a greeting caught in his throat. Had he been there when I first landed? Had I simply been too lost in my own thoughts to notice? My heart sank at the thought, just managing to offer the ghost of a smile in the face of how stiffly he held himself.

“Hey.” He whispered, and I heard clearly the apology in it, but it was nothing like those plaguing every word uttered amongst the 104th. There was a warmth in his apology; a subtle self-deprecation softened with something near enough to humor that my smile bloomed with relief.

“I see you two have been making the most of this little vacation.” I started, looking pointedly at the assortment of mysteriously procured supplies. He glanced quickly over his shoulder as though he’d forgotten the project entirely before turning back to me.

“Echo suggested a few interesting modifications to his cybernetic legs.” Tech stated before his brother could try to explain. “This is merely the initial prototype. Rebuilding his legs entirely will take significantly longer than a few days, but this will allow us to test the efficiency of our new design.” I looked back to the arc with surprise and found him fighting a sheepish grin.

My head fell toward my chest, stomach churning with regret for having offered at all despite Tech’s automatic “thank you.” Swallowing back the anxiety threatening to coil through my gut, I finally let myself glance toward the tall sniper still watching me from just the corner of his eye, and the little thrill of glee that seeing him shot through me offered a precious sliver of relief. He barely reacted as I approached him, head just shifting to follow my movements until barely a foot lay between us, and I let out a heavy sigh full of mock guilt and remorse.

“Wow.” I chirped, pleased to hear they’d managed to be so productive despite how strained things had been over the past few weeks, “Let me know if you need any help synching it to the neural interface.” Echo’s face darkened for barely the breadth of a heartbeat, but it was enough to remind me that the effortless connection that once came so easily to us still lay far beyond my grasp.

“I may have jinxed myself.” I muttered, and a quiet chuckle escaped me at the way he cocked his brow, unimpressed by my admission. “Was I right? Did you mope the entire time I was gone?”

“Yes.” Hunter called from the front of the barracks, kindling my chuckle into a short burst of laughter as Cross shot his brother a lethal glare.

“Just got back and you’re already trying to cause trouble.” He growled under his breath, earning a coy smirk from me. Only then did he begin to abandon that impartial veneer, weight shifting as he pushed himself away from the bunks to reach for me, and I could feel my entire body lighten with the deep sigh that fled my lips at that first rush of warmth from his embrace.

“Are you okay?” He asked, words barely audible as they danced through my hair. The rote reassurance so nearly fell from my lips absent a moment’s thought before catching in my throat. I could feel him tense in those brief seconds of hesitation before I reluctantly shook my head.

“Not yet.” I answered, voice heavy with every unspoken reason forbidding me from trying to convince him otherwise. “But I’m really glad to be back.” He went still for a long moment, but then his arms tightened almost harshly around me, body curling over mine as though he might hide me from what darkness lingered behind the veil of empty smiles.

We both knew there would be no walking away from the damage wrought during my time apart from them, but I let myself relish that moment of stillness; the hum of quiet conversation between Hunter and Wrecker, the rhythmic clicks and hisses of tools augmenting metal and wire beneath Echo and Tech’s ministrations, the steady thrum of Crosshair’s heartbeat dancing against me as I rested my forehead to his neck, shamelessly letting myself vanish in that heady spice and tang of blasterfire. Every day spent fighting this war brought untold risks and dangers, but I held no reservations that this was exactly where I belonged, and no threat was great enough to see me leave them for even a moment more.

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blushk1tten · 2 months

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Mmmm, fucking loved the breeding kink you added at the end of the roadtrip fanfic. You should do an aftermath where reader finds out she is pregnant after the trip mmmmdhshd.

thinking about making this a series now, oops. i hope you enjoy!

you had started feeling sick a little over a month after your road trip with schlatt ended. at first, you put it down to the flu or food poisoning. then, it kept happening. what really kicked you into gear was when you missed your period. you hoped beyond anything it wasn't what you thought it was, but now as you looked at the two positive pregnancy tests you took, you knew you were in trouble.

you and schlatt had been doing long distance since the trip ended, and you had no clue how he would react to you being pregnant. for all you knew, he could completely deny everything, turn, and run. just the thought of it made you want to cry. then again, so did the thought of telling schlatt.

still, you knew you had to do it, especially since you wanted to keep the baby. you were young, but you couldn't really see yourself doing anything else. so, after steeling yourself the best that you could with your hormones, you decided to facetime schlatt. the minute you saw him though, smiling and asking how your day had been, you burst into tears.

"doll, it's okay," he reassured you, though he looked a bit panicked at the sudden tears. "what's wrong? did ya have a bad day or somethin'?"

shaking your head, you tried to calm down and wipe the tears from your eyes. this was it. you were about to tell your long distance boyfriend of two months that you were pregnant.

"'s not a bad day," you sniffled, still brushing away the tears under your eyes and running down your cheeks. "'s something else."

schlatt's brows furrowed, and his concern seemed to grow as you spoke. "what d' ya mean, doll? is everything okay?"

you took a deep, shaky breath. then, you said it. "i'm pregnant."

for a moment, there was silence. you couldn't even look at the screen to see schlatt's reaction. then, he spoke up again. "you're pregnant?"

you nodded, biting your lip with anxiety. it was hard to tell from his voice how he was feeling, and the stress was weighing on you.

"doll," his voice was soft and gentle, making you look back at the screen to face him. he looked nervous too, but at the same time, his eyes showed nothing but concern for you. "i'm not mad at ya. how'd you find out?"

"you know i've been sick lately," you explained, voice quiet and a bit raspy from crying. "then my period never came, so i took a couple of tests and they both came out positive."

he nodded in understanding, running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath before speaking again. "do you know what you want to do?"

you could feel your voice grow smaller as you spoke, terrified to tell him your choice. "i want to keep them, jay."

to your surprise, he spoke up in a soft, understanding voice, the one that helped to put you at ease. "that's okay, doll. we'll do whatever you want, and i'll be there to help ya."

"really?" you asked in that same, small voice.

once again, he nodded. "really. hell, i'll move to los angeles if i need to help you. i don't want you to be alone f' this."

your eyes widened at that. he hated los angeles, and never failed to bring up his hatred for the city you lived in. if he was offering to move there to help you with your pregnancy, he really meant it. "no, i wouldn't make you do that."

"i know you wouldn't, but i want to be close to you, and once they're born, i want to be close to the baby too."

once upon a time, you had thought your craziest idea had been offering to strip for schlatt. now though, you had a much crazier idea, one he could easily reject.

"what if i moved to austin, and moved in with you," you asked anxiously. "then you could help me, and when the baby comes, you'd get to see them all the time."

there was another pause, but this time, you watched as schlatt's lips curled into a smile. "doll, i think that's one of the best ideas you've ever had. i'd love to move in with you. i know we haven't been together long, but it seems like we're just doing everything out of order."

your own lips quirked into a smile at that. "we really are, aren't we?"

his smile only grew as he chuckled at you. "you know i'm still bookin' a plane ticket to come help you until you can get moved in, right?"

finally relaxed, you nodded and smiled. "we'll be waiting for you, then."

his eyes seemed to light up at the use of the word "we." he was invigorated by the idea of you and your child waiting for him. "i'll see you soon, doll. i love you."

"i love you too, jay."

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #jschlatt hcs #schlatt hcs #jschlatt headcanons #schlatt headcanons #blush ꨄ

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yunjardi · 2 years

Text

my heart bel♡ngs to daddy [series]

[young sugar daddy jake x fem.reader au]

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[check here for this series's general warnings and playlist]

[‼️chapter warnings‼️: smut [mdni], daddy kink, spanking, unprotected sex, reader loses her virginity, oral, fingering, mentions of blood because of it being the reader's first time, swearing, alcohol, rich people slander LOL, mentions of pervy rich people, jake being a fucking tease]

*feel free to lmk if i missed anything

*note: reader wears glasses

*also sorry if there are any errors regarding grammar oops

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-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

chapter 1: business proposal

chapter 2 here

school, bar, home; that's what your life has been for the past however many months it's been since you first acquired your position as a bartender. the bar has basically been your life since you started working there, and you didn't hate it, but that doesn't necessarily mean you loved it either. shifts were often long and strenuous, especially on friday nights in which every rich person in the city wants to drink until they get alcohol poisoning.

working at a "rich peoples' bar" had its benefits though; huge parties meant large amounts of tips even though most of your tip money went into paying rent and school tuition. but hey, it's better than being stuck in the family house you worked so desperately to get out of.

juggling university and your job oftentimes stressed you out and made you wonder if you should choose one over the other, but you never forget to remind yourself that you can't work at the bar forever even if it felt like an easy way out.

"y/n!" yeji, your friend from university and coworker, called out, prompting you to snap out of your thoughts and look in her direction, "i'm heading out now, so do you think you can handle the rest of the night without your favorite coworker?" she joked as you nudged her arm. "oh no, whatever will i do without you?" you said sarcastically, yeji pulling you into a hug afterward. you both laughed as you waved at each other, her waking out the door, holding it open for someone who was coming in as she was leaving.

he approached your section of the bar as you were wiping down its surface, wanting to make sure the expensive marble countertops were kept presentable all throughout the night. a sleazy part of you liked wiping down the counters because it gave you a chance to get more tips by showing your cleavage, and yes, it always worked with the pervy and horny rich men as funny and pathetic as it may sound. the tight, black long sleeve button up paired with a short skirt and a (fake) diamond necklace really makes for a good night money wise. the 'uniform' is arguably what gets you tips in the first place considering that more than 90% of the consumers are greedy rich people. for a seemingly classy bar, the management loves to dress their female employees like hookers.

it took a second for you to realize that you were lost in your thoughts again, aimlessly wiping nothing off the marble countertop. you were so distracted that you looked up to see an extremely handsome young man seated on one of the barstools and had no idea how long he'd been waiting there just staring at the drink menu. "o-oh, i'm so sorry, what can i get for you?" you asked shyly as you folded the rag you were using and pushed it to the side. he chuckled lightly at your embarrassed expression and body language before responding. "just a glass of armand de brignac ace of spades brut rosé," he said nonchalantly as he pointed at the pretty pink bottle with a smirk as if ordering a $500 champagne was normal.

you turned around to fetch a crystal wine glass and couldn't help but turn red because of how fucking sexy this guy was. you almost didn't trust yourself to pour this expensive alcohol because of how sweaty your hands were, but you shook it off and quickly placed the wine glass on the table, pushing it toward him. "let me know if you want to order anything else," you smiled, trying to keep your eyes off of him, knowing that you wouldn't be able to look away if you were to spare even the tiniest glance at him.

"thank you, beautiful," he said, taking a sip of his expensive champagne. his comment caused you to promptly snap your head up at him, wondering if he was actually serious or if he was just another flirty (and possibly horny) rich guy. "why, thank you," you flirted back subtly, slightly leaning against the counter on your elbows, hoping to get a few tips. he let out a gentle chuckle as he reached one of his veiny hands out toward your neck to take a hold of your necklace. you blushed in surprise at this touch but didn't pull away.

"such a shame," he sighed as he admired your chest area in a somehow amorous and non perverted manner, "a beautiful woman like you should have real diamonds resting against her pretty skin..." his voice trailed off as he let go of your necklace.

man, he really indirectly pointed out how broke you are, and also how the fuck could he tell these diamonds were fake with his naked eye? rich people surprise you every time.

you couldn't tell if the reason you were blushing was because of the fact that his hands were dangerously close to your neck and chest or if you were embarrassed at the fact that you couldn't afford a real diamond necklace. you were at a loss for words for a hot minute as you looked down at your necklace that seemed to sparkle less now that he pointed out how it isn't genuine.

"i'm sorry... just thinking out loud," he sighed as he looked you in your eyes, making your breathing hitch for a second. "oh, n-no you're fine," you responded, trying to laugh it off, "would you like anything else? a refill maybe?" you said as you looked down at his almost-empty wine glass.

"well," he started as he shifted in the barstool, now resting one of his elbows upon the counter, "i would like to buy you a real diamond necklace, but if we're talking in terms of me wanting anything else from the bar, i think i'm fine for now." he smirked and took another sip of his drink. god, he was such a tease, but you didn't mind because he was so unbelievably attractive.

"you're so sweet," you laughed shyly as you tried to hide your face, "but you seem a bit tipsy, so make sure to be safe out there when you head out." a fake pout formed on his face as he looked at you again. "trying to get rid of me already? i promise i'm not drunk, beautiful," he chuckled as his eyes traveled down to the sparkling crystal wine glass that was now empty. you'd be lying if you said that you weren't on the brink of kissing him because of his smooth comments, but you had to remind yourself that these situations are normal at the rich people bars; they flirt, you fall for them, they take you home, you fall harder, they leave because you meant nothing to them in the first place.

'never get attached to rich people' was always your golden rule, but you weren't thinking rationally in this particular moment. you were only thinking about him; a rich man whose name you didn't even know yet, and you couldn't help but mentally sigh at the fact that he could never be yours.

"what's on your mind, hm? you look lost in thought," he said, his thick accent music to your ears. you immediately snap out of your thoughts for the nth time tonight, turning red at the fact that you were so obviously disconnected from the situation. "o-oh, it's nothing," you stuttered embarrassingly, "just a little tired; long night, you know?" you lied even though you knew that he could see right through you like you were a piece of glass.

"is that so?" he smirked then let out a sigh, "i would love to keep talking." you pushed your glasses up and glanced at the clock. it's only half past ten, what's the harm staying for a little longer.

"i'll stay if you stay with me," you said in a mildly seductive tone as you leaned forward onto the counter, again, hoping to make a few tips. "what made you think that i planned to leave?" he asked, leaning in closer and making you visibly flustered. he smirked, fully aware of the effect he has on you.

"get yourself something to drink. it's on me," he said as he pulled out a black card, your eyes widening at the sight of it. god, he made you feel like a peasant. "b-but everything here is so expensive, a-and i'd hate for you to spend that kind of money on me-"

"don't worry about it, princess. i only spend by the thousand, so get anything that your heart desires."

his confidence made a knot form in your stomach. oh, how the tables have turned; now you're the horny one.

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you didn't get blackout drunk so-to-say, but you drank enough alcohol to have a headache when you woke up the next morning, and it took you more than just a few minutes to remember what the hell happened last night. you then realized that you never even asked that guy what his name was and immediately felt like a fucking idiot.

thank god it was your day off because you may have had to call in sick because of the pounding headache that you were suffering-

bzzz...bzzz...bzzz

you groaned as you turned to check who was calling you, and to your surprise, it was yeji. as you hit 'answer,' you hoped she wasn't calling because of short staff at work.

"hey, y/n! sorry if i'm waking you up, even though it's 3PM," she joked as you groaned and sat up, "there's someone here who just asked for you. uhhh, he has dyed blond hair, average height, and he's veryyyy handsome. he's seated at your section of the bar waiting for you if you want to head over and see what he wants, but i can tell him that it's your day off if you want me to-"

"i'll be right over!"

you quickly hung up the phone and jumped out of bed to get ready. you sobered up so quickly that it could've been a world record. after taking shower so quick that it could've also been a world record, you got dressed in a cute but classy outfit that showed just enough skin to tease him then dashed out the door.

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you took a deep breath before opening the fancy double doors to get inside the bar, immediately looking over to your side of the bar to see him sitting there patiently waiting for you to show up. you tried your best to casually walk over to your section of the bar but before you could get any closer, yeji spotted you and excitedly ran in your direction, engulfing you in a hug. she let go of you to turn your head to the side with both of her hands, "you see him?!" she exclaimed, quickly prompting you to slap your hand over her mouth. "shush, yej! he has ears, you know!" you whisper-yelled as you both slowly walked over to that side of the bar. as soon as you were close enough to him, yeji gave you a stern pat on the shoulder and rushed back over to the other side of the bar.

"so," you said flirtatiously as you put your hand on one of his broad shoulders, "i heard you were looking for me." your touch startled him, causing his shoulder to tense up, but he quickly calmed down after he realized it was you. "well, you heard right," he said, his signature smirk forming on his face. you smirked back, looking into his pretty brown eyes and trying to exude the same confidence that he was even though you were nervous out of your pants.

"you didn't even know who to request seeing as you don't even know my name," you teased as you sat on the stool next to him. "and yet, here you are, miss?" he asked, somehow coming off more confident than you even though he was literally asking a question. "y/l/n y/n" you chuckled, "and you?"

"jake, jake sim, sim jaeyun. depends who you ask," he said with a hint of sarcasm as held his hand out for you to shake it as if you two were meeting for the first time. you rolled your eyes playfully as you leaned in closer to him. "so, what business do you have with me, jake?" you asked teasingly as you placed your hand on his warm forearm, flustering him. "hmm, i don't know," he said as he put his free hand on top of yours, "maybe we could go out? after all, it is your day off." you looked at him with slight disbelief, not expecting him to ask you to go out with him. "so, like a date?" you asked, cocking your head to the side. "it's whatever you want it to be, princess," he smirked as he stood up, holding his hand out to help you off the high barstool.

"have fun, guys!" yeji yelled from across the bar as if she'd been watching us the whole time (which she probably was). jake smiled sheepishly as waved back at her, his other hand holding yours as you left the bar together.

--------------------------------------------

you sat nervously in the passenger's seat of his fancy car, not knowing what to expect out of this little "date" that you two were about to go on. "so, where are we going, jake?" you ask casually, glancing at his perfect side profile. "we're gonna head further into gangnam's shopping centers. i did say i wanted to get you some real diamonds, right?" your eyes widened in a mixture of shock and surprise.

"y-you're kidding, right?" you laughed sheepishly, but he shook his head, shocking you even further. "nope. we're getting you a pretty little necklace," he said nonchalantly as he parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt, quickly getting out of the car to open the door for you. handsome and a gentleman? score.

you took jake's hand as he led you into a jewelry store that you never even imagined walking into, let alone buying anything from. your eyes lit up at the immense sparking of diamonds in every corner of the establishment. jake seemed to notice your astonishment and giggled at your cute mannerisms. "go ahead and look around, beautiful," jake politely urged, "your only parameter is that it has to be one thousand or over; i only spend by the thousand, remember?" he smirked as he lifted your chin up with his index finger. you nodded and your cheeks turned a bright shade of pink as jake moved his finger away from your face.

you were completely clueless on how to even begin navigating this jewelry store, so you looked up at jake for a bit of guidance. "you're so cute," he cooed as he wrapped his hand around your waist, pulling you close as he walked you toward one of the huge glass cases of diamond jewelry, "no need to be nervous, y/n." you smiled shyly as you felt the warmth of his arm against your waist. the glass cases were lined with dark red velvet that complimented the shine of the gold and diamonds that rested upon its surface.

after awhile of looking closely at a few necklaces, you finally found a piece that caught your eye. jake noticed the way you gazed at it through the jewelry case and immediately asked an employee to take it out for you. "here," jake said as he gently moved your hair onto your shoulder, clasping the necklace before moving your hair back to its original position, "it looks beautiful on you, princess." you blushed as you looked at yourself in the mirror, the diamond necklace resting against your skin. "do you like this one?" the employee asked the two of you, looking from you to jake, looking visibly flustered at how attractive jake was. you looked at jake and nodded. he smiled as he unclasped the necklace and handed it back over to the employee. "we'll take it," jake said as he held you close.

"your total comes out to ₩1,897,267.50," the employee said casually as she took jake's black card and swiped it on the pin pad, handing it back to him once the transaction was completed. the price was enough to make you nauseous.

"i told you that real diamonds would look beautiful around your neck," jake said as he gently caressed the necklace that laid against your soft skin, causing goosebumps to run down your body, "but you wanna know what would look even better around your neck?" he asked as you looked deeply into his eyes, nodding for him to continue. "my hand," he said as he leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his as your heartbeat rises to a level you didn't know existed.

"what are you implying, hm?" you teased, "show me, jake."

--------------------------------------------

a simple car make out session turned into you two stumbling into his house, no, sorry, his mansion, bursting into his huge bedroom, and throwing yourselves down on his king size bed.

"god, you're fucking hot," you breathed out as you toyed with one of the buttons on his shirt. he chuckled and smirked and began to kiss down your neck and shoulders, making your whole body flutter with anticipation.

anticipation because you'd never done anything like this before; you were a virgin.

"jake wait," you said softly as you played with his smooth hair, making him stop immediately to make sure he wasn't breaking any of your boundaries, "i, um, i've never done this before." your face turning red in embarrassment from having admitted that you were a virgin.

"we can stop if you want to-" jake started before you smashed your lips against his, another make out session beginning soon after. "who told you that i wanted to stop?" you asked as you teasingly brushed your fingertips against his cheek. "we'll take it slow, okay? i promise i'll make you feel good, princess."

slowly, you let him take your shirt and bottoms off, leaving you only in your matching black bra and panties. "such a pretty little body," jake breathed out as he ran his hands down your exposed skin, "you're all mine." you bit your lip and nodded as you toyed with his belt, eventually taking it off along with his pants, moaning at the sight of how hard he was.

he took the diamond necklace off your neck and placed it on his bedside table. "the only thing around your neck is gonna be my hand, isn't that right?" he asked as he positioned himself against the headboard of his bed, motioning for you to sit between his legs. "mhm, jakey," you responded as you cozied your back against his chest. "already such a good girl," he smirked against the back of your head as he planted a kiss on your neck, "let me show you what good girls deserve." slowly, he slid your panties down your legs, teasing your inner thighs in the process, causing you to shiver.

"let me know if it's too much, okay?" jake said as he began to inch his hand closer and closer to your wet entrance until he eventually brought his fingers to your clit. you gasped at the contact as he began to rub circles around it, putting one of his fingers inside you slowly and beginning to pump it in and out of you. "f-feels good," you moaned out softly as you gripped onto one of his muscular thighs. "yeah? feels good? you're so tight, princess. you might have a little trouble taking my cock," he teased as he began to finger you at a faster pace. you whined out for him, begging him to put another finger in. "please, jakey?" you asked softly, your legs trembling desperately. "how could i say no to such a good girl?" jake cooed as he inserted another finger, moaning at the way your walls squeezed both his ring and middle finger.

lewd moans and noises escaped your lips as jake continued to finger you, moving his free hand up to your boobs, grabbing and caressing them as he pleased you.

"w-wanna cum so bad," you whimpered as jake slowed his fingers down, pulling them out of you. "not yet, princess," jake said sternly as he moved you aside to pull his retraining boxers down, revealing his hard length. your eyes lit up innocently at the sight of his member as jake chuckled, pumping himself a few times to tease you.

"c-can i touch?" you asked softly as you leaned even closer to him. "i would love you to, beautiful, but tonight is about you. you can touch daddy next time, i promise." he said, proceeding to plant a kiss on your soft lips. "now spread your legs for me, sweetheart," jake said softly yet sternly. you followed his orders, leaning against a pillow and spreading your legs for him. he brought his head down between your legs and dragged his tongue up and down your helplessly dripping warmth without warning, causing you to whine and gasp and the new feeling as jake continued to work his tongue around your pussy.

"jakey," you whined out, biting your lip, "so good. please don't stop." you felt him smirk against your warmth, proceeding to suck on your clit as he held onto your thighs for stability even though they weren't much help considering how much they were trembling. he took mental notes of the way your body reacted to the different things that he did to you, making sure that he pleased you as much as possible.

jake looked up, wiping your excess arousal off of his lips then lining himself up with your mildly overstimulated entrance. "tell me if it hurts, okay, baby? it'll feel good after a little while." jake reassured as he teased your entrance with his tip that leaked precum. you nodded as you let jake push your thighs down onto the bed, eventually pushing a few inches of himself inside your tight entrance. you flinched at the feeling, but jake was quick to offer you his hand to hold, which you gladly accepted. "god, you're so fucking tight," jake groaned out, "i'm so lucky to be the first person who gets to feel you." you whined and nodded. "a-all for you. i'm all daddy's." he smirked against your neck before sucking on a soft section of skin. "yeah, that's right."

soon, he began to slowly move himself in and out of you gently, letting you adjust to his size. "jake, m-more please," you begged quietly as you looked into his eyes. he bit his lip as he began to pick up the pace, causing his head to fall into the crook of your neck as he groaned at the way your walls violently clenched around his cock.

"fuck, can we switch positions, baby?" jake whispered into your ear, "i want to see that pretty ass bounce against my cock." you nodded as jake got off of you. "ass up, face down, princess," he commanded to which you naturally obeyed, nestling your cheek into the sheets as you arched your back, inviting him to destroy you. "please hurry," you begged, "w-wanna feel you." jake scoffed as he landed a harsh spank on your ass, riling you up even more. "it's your first time and you're already so needy," jake tsked as he shoved himself back inside you, making you moan at the sudden wave of pleasure.

jake spanked your ass harshly as he pounded into you, your helpless moans and mewls fueling his desire to please you. "jake! so good," you moaned out as you gripped onto the bedsheets. "mhm? daddy making you feel good?" jake asked amorously as he pulled you up so that your back rested against his sweaty chest. "s-so good, jakey," you moaned softly, his thrusts becoming slower as he rubbed your clit, aiding you in reaching your high.

you practically melted into his hands as you felt your cum run down his veiny member, moaning out his name as he left hickeys on your neck. he slowly lowered your body back down onto the bed to begin ramming himself into you again, making you cry out as he praised you for being such a good toy. "already such a slut and it's only your first time," jake breathed out as his strokes became less uniform and more sloppy. "where do you want daddy's cum, princess?" he asked as he tugged your hair. "i-inside me, please," you moaned softly as jake pulled out of you and laid you down on your back, wanting to look into your eyes while he released his seed inside you.

you let him continue littering your neck with bites and hickeys as you clawed into his back, moaning uncontrollably at the amount of pleasure being delivered to your body from his. "jakey," you moaned out as his thrusts became stronger, chasing his high as your walls squeezed his hard cock. the sight of his sweaty, toned abs were enough for you to cum all over him again.

"god, you feel so fucking good," jake growled into your ear as his seed coated your tight walls, "next time, we'll go harder, how does that sound, princess?" he asked, you nodding as he kissed your jaw in a caring manner.

next time, you thought. those two words circulated through your mind.

you both collapsed onto his now unmade bed, panting and sweating but also sharing a few laughs and soft kisses. jake slid his hand between your thighs, bringing his big hand toward your now sore entrance as he planted a kiss on your cheek. "aw, i'm sorry, princess," jake said sweetly, "sorry i made you bleed; it happens when it's your first time, but i promise you'll feel better soon." you smiled shyly into his collarbone. his words struck a soft spot in your heart. it felt almost... intimate.

"so," jake started, breaking the awkward silence before it could fully set in, "dinner?"

--------------------------------------------

as if you hadn't gotten enough of the 'rich life' experience today, jake surprised you once again by taking you to a nauseatingly expensive restaurant that you never thought you'd set foot into. a typical white tablecloth was draped around a single round table that was decorated with pretty rose petals and a tea light; super cliché and predictable of a fancy restaurant, but still romantic nonetheless.

"jake?" you asked, prompting him to look up from the menu that you were sure he's seen more than a million times, "has anyone ever told you how sweet you are?" he bit his lip shyly and looked down at the table again. "shhh, you're making me blush, y/n," jake whined as his puppy dog eyes glimmered in the dim lights. "what? i'm serious," you giggled as he put his hand on the nape of his neck, getting shy again. wanting to keep up the whole confident act, you pulled out your phone and took a candid photo of him looking all shy, giggling at the photo you got as a result.

"hey!" he whined again, "two can play that game." jake pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of you in return, making you cover your face shyly as he teased you for being cute. "see," jake said as he showed the picture to you, "now i have a cute little contact photo for you." you swatted at him playfully as he let out soft laughs, trying not to make the two of you look like idiots inside this fancy restaurant.

you were on your phone deciding what his name should be on your phone, and you hoped you weren't the only one overthinking it. you went from

jake sim

jake

jake :)

jake... your fingers lingered over your keyboard before ultimately deciding on

jake🤍

was the heart emoji too intense? maybe. but did you care? no.

little did you know, jake was on the other side of the table having the same dilemma.

y/n y/l/n

no, that's too formal

y/n

no, that's too generic

y/n :)

no, that seems a little creepy

y/n 💕

he was unsure at first, but ultimately decided that he was going to keep it like that.

"y/n?" jake asked, probably noticing how unnecessarily focused you were on your phone. "oh, yeah," you smiled sheepishly as you looked up from your phone, "sorry about that." he smiled shyly at you as you took a sip of water from a fancy wine glass.

"hey," jake started, "do you mind if i ask you a question? well, it's more of a proposal; a "business proposal" if you will." he said with air quotes. you cocked your head to the side in confusion but nodded for him to continue.

"have you every had a sugar daddy before?"

--------------------------------------------

a/n: HI GANG SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG LOL MY BRAIN IS ALL KINDS OF FRIED but no fr i want to make these chapters long and plentiful for you guys so no one has to foam at the mouth waiting too long for what's gonna happen next

but anyway, thank you guys for supporting this series and my page in general, you jake whores <3

-jake whore jardi

taglist @axartia @jjhmk @valiantwastelanddelusion @jayroseyy @ayohahaha @asaheyow

#enhyphen #enhypen smut #jake enhypen #jake Enhypen smut #jake smut #jake sim smut #jake sim x reader #enhypen jake smut #enhypen drabbles #sim jake smut #sim jake imagine #sim jake x reader

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supanuts · 26 days

Note

i saw that you're currently reading my stand-in novel but you're not really spoiling anything. how are you finding it so far if i may ask? is it as angsty as people say it is?

(i waited until the end of the day to answer this because as i thought i've already finished the novel, so much for self-restraint lol also sorry this got a bit long... oops?)

i enjoyed it a lot! and it made me get over my reading slump, so i will even excuse it getting into some tropes i'm not particularly fond of at the end. it got cheesy…er, and not even in a way i like. amazingly, that didn't make me like it any less.

from the synopsis of the series and the tags in novel updates (and i only skimmed those because i didn't want to get spoiled) i had a pretty good idea of what the novel was going to be like, which is why i decided not to really liveblog since, transmigration aside, i'd say it's a pretty straightforward story. i could be persuaded to make a recap if there's interest though, since there's still over three weeks left until the series starts airing and i'm probably going to go over everything again and take notes anyway...

and oh, is it angsty! the whole thing hinges on zhou xiang (joe) being a sweet angel baby and yan mingxiu (ming) being a fucking idiot, and it's pretty much what you can expect from any dogblood/makjang with the scum ml, misunderstandings, heartbreak, regrets, etc. i have to say i'm not usually a fan of the misunderstanding trope bc i tend to find it annoying, but as with most tropes i don't particularly enjoy it's because of the way i often see it done. here it was painful for everyone involved, so i really liked it. also, please keep in mind that i'm a huge fan of big character development and characters redeeming themselves, so. there's that. wink wonk. (i've been reading some reviews and think for some people it may be best to know what kind of story this is before going in, other than because of triggers–which, very important if you need them, at least in the novel–because of the whole. scum ml more than anything lol even though yan mingxiu is not that scummy really!)

i love my stories character-driven, so having them being this well fleshed out and compelling was a joy, and being able to see so clearly what both zhou xiang and yan mingxiu were thinking and feeling, sometimes a lot earlier than they themselves could (please bl gods keep at least some of the internal monologue in the series, i am begging), was soooooo ugh. you're supposed to hate yan mingxiu allegedly but i just couldn't, not even in his scum era, because he was so obvious and so oblivious and so set in his own ideas he kept gaslighting himself into not noticing things. this could have gotten frustrating pretty easily, but again, everything feed into the delicious, delicious suffering. that being said, and because it doesn't seem to be a popular opinion... i think it's important to empathise with both of them, or at least sympathise, for maximum enjoyment of all that angst. you cannot cry over yan mingxiu's pain if you want him to get hit by a bus.

oh and the relationships (not only the cp's, though their progression is really good) are very important in this story, which is something i hope we get to see more of in the series because i ended up missing certain side characters in the later chapters. not tan yin though, i hope that fuck ass didn't make it into the series. how is a character so annoying while being in maybe six scenes total.

i can't say if it's good or not but it was extremely enjoyable, zhou xiang is my sweet darling angel baby, yan mingxiu is okay too (if you see me in the trenches defending him in about a month…), and i can't believe i am now, somehow, even more excited for my stand-in.

#professional body double #my stand in #my stand in the series #asks #anon #didn't get into any specifics bc everything i would have said is a spoiler yippee #so yeah i didn't want to spoil anything so this is kinda . but feel free to ask anything!#my fav character is zhou xiang my fav character development is also zhou xiang's #again not to spoil but: aaaa #tan yin can come if he gets reworked to hell and back and kisses lan xirong btw #i have a weirdly specific wishlist for him now #and by 'him' i mean lan xirong

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steves-strapcollection · 9 months

Text

Gerry's WIP Wedneseekend!

This was hugely helpful for me last week in just getting Words Down for the strap!verse which has now become an actual fic rather than a series of smutty one-shots oops so now I'm gonna do this to focus on my fics for Lex's Summer Challenge!

DISCLAIMER: I am only calling it WIP Wedneseekend because it stresses me out to "limit" myself to one day and I think it's fun!! Please do not feel like you also have to do a whole thing too if you're tagged or see this.

The Rules

I post the two prompts I claimed as a poll

Y'all vote in the poll and send me asks requesting a snippet of the fic of your choice

For every vote a fic receives, I will commit to writing 100 words on that fic. For every ask I receive, I will commit to writing an additional 100 words. (So if one gets 10 votes, and 5 asks, that's 1500 words)

At the end of the weekend, I will have completed fics to prepare for posting by the end of the month!

I will post a snippet of what I wrote and tag everyone who requested a snippet!

The Snippet - "Can I braid your hair?"

“Can I braid your hair?” Eddie blinked over at Steve, eyebrows high on his sweaty forehead while he held his hair up off the back of his neck. He could swear he felt heat pouring out of his head. Summer had descended on Hawkins with a vengeance, as if in retaliation for the brief handful of weeks in the Spring when the portals to a frigid hell dimension opened up and attempted to take over their world. Granted, summers in Hawkins tended to be hotter than Satan’s taint, especially around Independence Day, but Eddie figured he was allowed to be noisy and bitchy about it if he wanted. He almost died—first at the hands of a town full of angry, scared hicks, then by a swarm of demobats—and this was his first summer officially free of Hawkins High, the other frigid hell dimension in that shitty town. If Eddie had to spend the summer in the sweaty armpit of America because of dumb bullshit like “recovery” and “physical therapy” and “being under observation,” he was going to bitch and moan and throw all the tantrums he wanted. It helped that all the stupid bullshit (like recovery, and physical therapy, and being under observation) meant that Eddie got to spend a lot of time with Steve outside of the apocalypse. They were both lucky enough to be Under Observation together, courtesy of both of them being the favoured chew toys for the demobats. From there, Steve just started staying close to Eddie, taking him to and from physical therapy, helping him with his exercises at home, coming over when Eddie was in too much pain to get up to use the bathroom, let alone get up and locate painkillers and take them. It had been a while since Steve had to help him on a particularly bad pain day, at least one that extreme, but Steve still came over almost daily. Usually, they would just hang out and eat junk food, smoke a bit of pot sometimes, usually watch whatever movie Steve brought over from work. Sometimes, Steve would suggest they go for a drive and they would just do that, make like they would leave completely. “We could get out of here, never look back.” Worded like a comment, spoken like an oath. “You wanna run away with me, Stevie?” Tone teasing but lined with a hollow desperation. The air in the Beemer would change the moment that question fell from Eddie’s lips, the way Steve’s arms flexed as he squeezed the steering wheel captivating. Most of the time, Eddie doesn’t hear an answer from Steve, other times he hears a quiet but teasing, “Of course, Eds.”

The (no pressure) Tags

These are mostly just so people can vote if they want ;p

@scarcrossdlvrs @patchworkgargoyle @stobinesque @inairbinad @legitcookie @thefreakandthehair @sidekick-hero @yournowheregirl @judasofsuburbia @wynnyfryd @steddieas-shegoes @pizzaqueen @starryeyedjanai @starrystevie @scoops-stevie @lets-try-to-be-normal-otakus @xenon-demon

#wip wednesday #wip weekend

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insertdisc5 · 1 year

Text

Devlog #9: Play and Testing

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, which is the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!). You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!!

Anyway, this month's devlog is gonna be about playtesting!

LET’S GET TO IT

Playtesting!!! Has finally started!!!

So a few weeks ago, I gave a code to the game to a few dozen friends, and they’re all slowly playing through it and giving me their feedback. Finally, a small sample of people (that are not me or QA) get to play Da Game…

To elaborate a bit more on QA vs Playtesting (at least for this game??? I don’t know if that’s how it is for other games???), my publisher Armor Games has a QA team whose job it is to play through the game and check for bugs! As a QA team member from Armor Games puts it, QA is about

1. Making sure the main path functions correctly (aka no soft/hard locks, no blockers, etc),

2. Attempting to check every interaction in every possible situation, and,

3. Confirming previously known issues that are stated as fixed are actually fixed, and that no new issues resulted from the fix!

What I’ve been doing for the past few months is wait patiently for the team to tell me “Adrienne, this thing happened and we’re not sure if it’s intended or a bug” and I go “it’s a bug” and I fix it and then the game is better. Know that their work is irreplaceable and SORELY needed. Thank you QA team, and thank you to QA teams everywhere.

Playtesting is (again, for this game) me giving the beta to some trusted friends and telling them “what do you think? Is it good? Do you GET IT? Also you’re a Normal Gamer ™ and play like a Normal Gamer ™ and not like me (the dev, I made the game, I know the game so I won’t do anything “”weird””) or the QA team (who are trying to break the game so it can be fixed, so they play in very specific ways) so your experience is valuable please tell me everything you’re thinking plz”.

Having some people playtesting the game is very, very fun. I told them right away “If i had my way i would want to stand behind you really close and look into your brain to hear every single thought you have, but once every so often is fine <3” so I’ve gotten a lot of very excited livetweeting my way, which is. The Best Thing Ever. For me, the most important part of playtesting was figuring out if the story was good! Beyond “does the story make sense?”, I asked a few times “so, what are your theories Right Now”, to see if my crumbs of foreshadowing were leading them where I wanted to, or if it led them in completely the wrong direction (which is also fun teehee). Also yes I did get a lot of screaming already. Love it when my friends yell at me that the story made them feel something <3

Having Normal Gamers ™ play the game means I also got some valuable feedback on some other important stuff, like: Does the game feel good to play? Are the battles too easy, too hard? Is there anything I can do to make the game better? Do you get what’s going on, or are you completely lost as to what you should do next? Thanks to them, I figured out where the game needed more explanations or tutorials, so hopefully this should make for a smoother experience!

Having a bunch of different eyes on the game was also VERY useful for typos and various writing mistakes. Did you know “discretely” and “discreetly” are two different words??? I learned that this week!!! Wow!!! And also did you know that I am bad at remembering the difference between East and West? I messed it up three times in the script!!! Oops!!! I’m bad at directions!!!

Of course, with feedback comes not-positive feedback as well! I did get some feedback on a potentially upsetting scene- I didn’t warn for it enough, and a friend thought it was too sudden and shocking, and would’ve appreciated some warning. I left the scene in, but I made sure to warn for its contents before it happens, so players can avoid it entirely if they’d rather not see it! In Stars and Time deals with some heavy subjects, but I want to make sure players can skip some of it if they know it would upset them. As a note, we don’t have the content warnings written down yet, but we definitely will before the game comes out! They’ll be pretty similar to START AGAIN: a prologue’s.

Overall, I’m very glad I got over my apprehension and showed the game off a bit. I’m getting some extremely valuable feedback (negative AND positive!) that I wouldn’t have gotten elsewhere. Anyway, this just turned into a “hey if you’re making a game you should have people play it BEFORE it comes out. I know it’s scary. I know you’re afraid of showing people something you made. I know you’re afraid of The Feedback. But also it’s better to have The Feedback now from people you love and trust, rather than all at once from strangers. Please make people playtest your game” manifesto for small indie devs. This is also addressed to past me. I didn’t ask enough people to playtest my previous game before it came out and I missed some obvious bugs. PLEASE ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO PLAY YOUR GAME THEY’RE YOUR FRIENDS AND WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUN GAME

(In other non-playtesting news, I had an interview with Pocket Tactics if you wanna read it! It's good!!!)

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

#devlog #in stars and time #start again start again start again #'wow its playtesting time which means the game will be out any second now huh?!?' hahahahahahahahaha! no.#still many things to do still lmao... thank you for your patience!!!!

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 2 years

Text

ASG - Part Three: You Did This

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: Yes! - anon(s)

Prompt: Bird is expecting Elvis over for a date, but his plans are different. He wants to break up, but not because he doesn’t like her. Because he loves her too much. [ Fem!OC ]

TW: Cursing, a really minor moment of assault, self-hate, ANGST

Rating: Pg-13 || Word Count: 3111

A/N: this was physically painful to write. i'm so sad now, but i'm not that evil. there will be a part 4, and i got so excited for birdie + elvis to get back together i literally already started writing it OOP

This is Part 3 of ASG. Find the rest of the series here!

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

She smiles to herself as she steps back to look at the positioning of the pillows. She's cleaning up around the house before Elvis arrives. They've been hanging out a lot recently and officially started dating about a month ago. Since he's opened her eyes to the possibilities in life, Bird has felt so much happier to be alive. Although, she still isn't ready to tell her father about her relationship yet, knowing that he'll probably murder her. She figures, worst case scenario, she can marry Elvis and then tell her daddy. What'll he do at that point?

As a result, she's been scheduling their dates and time together whenever she could do it secretly, usually in private places or at times when her father isn't at home. Like right now. She knows that her father will be at the Church for a few hours on Saturday night, so she's told Elvis to meet her at her house.

She's been in the living room, rearranging the furniture for the last twenty minutes. He wants everything to be perfect, even though Elvis has already been to her house more than once. Just as she reaches to move the pillow again, there's a knock on the door. She hops over to answer it and greets Elvis on the other side.

“Hi, handsome. I was wonderin when you’d get 'ere,” she says, smiling sweetly.

Her happy expression fades quickly when she realizes that Elvis isn’t sharing it. His face is stern and expressionless. He stands in the doorway, not moving, completely stationary. He looks especially handsome in a blue short-sleeve top with the buttons half undone and the sleeves rolled up onto his biceps.

“Can I come in?” he asks dryly. She nods, feeling the anxiety starting to rise in her chest.

“Is…somethin wrong, Elvis?” she asks, starting to ring out her fingers.

He says nothing, so she sits down next to him on the couch. His elbows are splayed on top of his knees and his eyes are trained on the ground as if they’re stuck in a trance. He looks pale, almost like a statue in a museum. She feels guilty and somehow wrong when she reaches out to touch his back.

“You know ya can tell me anythin, right? If somethin is wrong?” she says, gently rubbing small circles on his back.

He drags his hand over his face, tugging at the skin with his fingers. The less he speaks, the more anxious she grows.

“We…well, I…I…”

“Please spit it out, Elvis. You’re scarin me,” she says quietly.

“Lil Birdie...I don’t think we should be…together no more.”

She had a sneaking suspicion something like this was coming when he walked in the door with his fallen face. Even though she might have been aware of the possibility, nothing could have prepared her for the pain that comes with his words. She releases a breath and slowly removes her hand from his back.

“What do ya mean, exactly?” she asks, giving him the chance to change his mind.

She feels like her entire body is functioning in slow motion, unable to catch up with the meaning of his words. The panic and desperation she might be feeling are currently buried under a thick layer of doomed hope and disbelief.

“I mean we should break up.”

“Should,” she clocks the word immediately, still lingering in that state of disbelief but teetering dangerously on the edge of panic. “How bout you explain to me why exactly we should break up, Elvis?”

“I jus think that we…well, I-”

“Maybe you should actually come up with a reason or two before ya break off a relationship with another adult,” she says sharply. “Now, what I’m hearin is that you don’t actually want to break up with me but feel like you should.”

He says nothing, but his silence only confirms her theory. A moment of tense quiet passes as she tries to stay calm and figure out why he might be saying these things. Her brain starts to run through all of the things that have changed since they began seeing each other. No matter how hard she tries to think of something else, only one singular image comes to her mind: a fat, balding man with an unplaceable accent.

“Did Colonel Parker put ya up to this?” she asks, although she already knows the answer.

“No, no, no,” Elvis responds, too quickly and too passionately for her liking. “No, he didn’t have nothin to do with this. I-”

“Okay, then,” she interrupts him again, feeling angry now. “Gimme a reason.”

“What?!” he asks incredulously, throwing his hands up

“Gimme a reason,” she says in a voice that is aggressive, hard, and sharp. It's a tone that demands answers and it's gonna get them. “Gimme one real reason why we should break up.”

A few seconds of silence pass, and she can see his eyes frantically moving back and forth as he tries to come up with an answer that she'll buy. She can tell that he doesn’t have one.

“Our interests are different.”

“Lie. Next,” she cuts him off before he can even say anything else. He knows that isn’t the truth. Her anger continues to grow and her patience continues to thin.

“I’m gonna be very busy wi-”

“Not good enough. Next.”

“God dang it, Bird!” he shouts, standing up. He towers over her now, finally looking at her. She suddenly feels very small, but no less powerful with the anger coursing through her veins.

“We’re breakin up because I said so,” he says loudly.

“You ain't the boss of me. You don’t tell me what to do,” she retorts impishly, folding her arms over her chest and flopping back into the couch. She is taking a chance, her anger and desperation for the truth controlling her. They are stronger than any fear she might feel when looking at Elvis.

He clenches his jaw, scratching his fingers up through the roots of his hair and pulling on it. She blinks hard as images flash in her mind of the time they spent together at the lake when she had been the one pulling on those gorgeous black curls. She sees him hovering above her, sweating and moaning her name. But she banishes the images from her mind, trying not to let them draw her out of her anger.

“You’re startin to piss me off, Lil Birdie,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “Why can’t you just accept this and move on?”

“Because I want ya to be happy!” she finally shouts. “And I like to think that I make ya happy. And because I don’t want ya to do nothin you don’t wanna to do. If you're gonna break up with me, it better be cause you want to, not cause ya think you should or because somebody else told you to.”

“What the hell difference does it make?”

“It makes all the damn difference in the world, Elvis! Don’t even gimme that!” she's yelling at the top of her lungs now. She's also used a curse word and cursing isn't something Bird does often. “Why won’t you just admit that the Colonel is the one who wants this?”

“Because he ain’t telling me what to do! This is my career, my life, my decision. But I can’t do everythin on my own. I gotta have help, and the Colonel is the only damn person on the planet who cares nuff about me to help me.”

She buries the quick pang of pain in her chest as his words hit her ears. As silence falls, she considers not hitting back, but the anger in her chest turns to wrath and she can’t stop it.

“How dare you!” she yells. “How dare you act like you’re alone! Like nobody cares bout you, when you know damn well just how many people do. Let’s forget about how much you jus insulted me, but what about everyone else in your life, Elvis. Your friends? People who continue to support you. Your bandmates? Who’ve given up their own chances at fame to sit behind ya as you get big. Your parents? Who have literally sacrificed everythin for you. Your own mother, Elvis! Who has devoted every second of her wakin bein to give you a better life. How dare you disrespect all uh those people!”

A second of silence passes, and she can see him straining to control his anger. His fingers curl back into fists, and his nostrils flare as he heaves out angry breaths. She's only a few inches from his face, her fists now clenched, too. She should stop speaking, but the words that have been floating around in her head for the past two months are coming out, whether she wants them to or not.

“Ya know I was keepin my mouth shut, but I can’t do it no more. The Colonel is bad news. He’s a con man and a manipulator. And all he’ll do is ruin ya!”

Not a second passes before his hands fly up to wrap around her wrists. She struggles for a moment, but it’s no use. He pulls her against him, his fingers digging painfully into the skin around her bones.

“Listen here, lil one,” he growls, his accent thicker than normal,“the Colonel’s supported me so far and done nothin but help me navigate this crazy business. He’s like a second father to me. And he ain’t fuckin tellin me what to do. I’m breakin up with ya cause I want to. Cause I want to.”

She looks into his eyes. Even though his tone and mannerisms are fueled by anger, it hasn’t reached his eyes yet. They are still soft, a bright beautiful blue. He softens for a moment, his grip becoming more comfortable on her wrists.

“I’m tryin to do what’s best for my career, here, Birdie,” he continued. “You can understand that, can’t ya?”

“I understand. But I still don’t see why I can’t be a part of it. I can help ya, Elvis. I know people. I’m organized. I-”

“You just don’t fuckin get it, do ya? I am breakin up with you! It’s over!”

“Why?” she yells back immediately, angrier than ever. She hopes that her quick response will catch him off guard and make him answer honestly.

“Cause I love you, goddamnit!”

As he shouts, his grip returns stronger than ever, and she winces at the sudden discomfort. She goes silent and pale. She doesn’t know what to say or do. She'd been right. He’s answered honestly, but it isn’t the answer she has been expecting. At first, her stomach lurches with butterflies, but a horrible and overwhelming sense of dread follows it. She's suddenly very attuned to every morsel of pain coursing through her body. The one that burns her heart and the one that stings her wrists.

“People don’t break the hearts uh the ones they love,” she says softly, tears gathering in her eyes. They burn, but she refuses to let them fall. “And they don’t hurt em, neither.”

Her eyes briefly look at his white-knuckled grip on her wrists with wide eyes. His gaze follows hers and he immediately softens, the angry expression gone from his face as his fingers carefully release her wrists. She pulls them back into herself, running her fingers over the sore muscles. She also takes a step away from him, partly because of fear but mostly to make him feel guilty for hurting her. He sinks onto the couch and drops his head into his hands. A few moments of awkward silence pass, neither of them knowing how to continue.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers so quietly she barely even hears him. When you don’t move, he looks up at you. “I’m so sorry, Lil Birdie.”

She approaches, sitting down next to him on the couch. Her fingers gingerly take his hands in hers, and she brushes some hair off his forehead. He looks up at her, and his eyes are glistening with tears. The blue irises are more gray than usual. He gulps.

“I can’t put ya through this.”

“Through what, baby? Talk to me.”

“Through who I’m about to become. What, I’m about to become.”

“Elvis, honey, I don’t care bout that none,” she says, turning to place her hands on the sides of his face. “I wanna be with ya no matter who you are. Cause at the end of the day, in your heart, you will always be my Elvis.”

He shakes his head.

“Ya too naive, Lil Birdie. I know myself and I won’t be able to stop. I’ll be on stage every day, all day. As often and as much as I can. There’ll be women, so many women. And I don’t know…I can’t promise ya that I’ll always be able to…”

“Resist,” she finishes his sentence in a whisper. She retracts her hands back into her lap. Silence settles again.

“You never said it back,” he says quietly.

“What?” she asks dumbly.

“I said I loved ya and you didn’t say nothin back,” you watch his body straighten as he prepares to ask the question. “Do you…love me, at all?”

The desperation in his voice breaks her. She can’t meet his eyes and feel tears welling up in her chest again. She wants to answer, but…

Suddenly, everything everyone had told her about Elvis floods her head. She hears her father’s disciplined, harsh voice telling her — no ordering her —to find a good Christian boy and to stay away from men like Elvis. She sees all of her Church friends, laughing and using words like ‘dangerous, player, greaser’ when she tells them about Elvis. She sees her mother’s face, pale and sweat-sheened, telling her to go easy on her father. It’s just the two of you now…

By the time her crisis has passed, Elvis is standing. He's avoiding her eyes but she can still see him wipe a tear away. Everything in her body is screaming to move. To jump up, grab him, pull him to her, hug him tight, hang onto him, say something. Anything as long as it will prevent him from leaving her.

But for some inexplicable reason, she can’t bring herself to move. She's frozen.

“Well,” he says gruffly, in the same tone that her father always used to express his disappointment in her. “I guess that solves that problem. It was a pleasure knowin ya, Bird. I’m sorry for everythin.”

He starts to leave and her body finally jumpstarts. She desperately grabs onto his arm, tearing on his sleeve.

“Wait, I…” she's decided to say it, until he turns around.

When his eyes lock onto hers, and she can see the need in them, her words grow dry and evaporate. He pulls her close slowly and wraps his arms around her. One of his hands gently strokes the hair on the top of her head while the other holds firmly onto her waist. She inhales his smell, and it makes her dizzy. She shuts her eyes tightly, squeezing the tears out.

“I’ll miss you, Lil Birdie,” he whispers into her hair before he presses a kiss to her head. “So much.”

He gives her one last squeeze and then pulls away. She holds on, suddenly panicked at the thought of losing him. He grasps onto his clothes, trying to pull him back to her, but he’s too strong. He leans away from her.

“No! No, no, no, no wait!”

“I gotta leave baby,” he responds. His eyes are glistening again with tears, and his voice is cracking through the sadness. “I can’t stay.”

He gives himself one last yank and the force pulls her onto the ground. He glances back at her one last time and she sees him wince from the emotional pain before slamming the door.

The sound of the door slamming echoes throughout the house. Her eyes fall to the ground below her, tracing every thread in the carpet. She's on her hands and knees, her breath uneven and shaky. Her whole body begins to shake. Her breath quickens and she feels the pain of tears rising in her chest again. Curling her fingers into the carpet slows them but nothing is powerful enough to stop the flood that breaks through the dams of her eyes.

She makes no sound at first, the sobs wracking her body back and forth. She shakes silently on the floor, and the tears burn her dry eyes. Finally, her shaking builds up to be too much and a pained whine escapes her lips.

Again, her mind starts to flash through images. This time of Elvis. She sees him shaking and wiggling around on stage, giving her butterflies and making her laugh. Then, she sees his face light up with a smile when he realizes who she is. She sees the dark lust and the insatiable passion shining in his eyes at the lake. She sees his beautiful smile and hears his laugh. The peaceful and happy expression on his face whenever he sings. The way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he’s really, genuinely happy.

All the small things that only someone in love could notice. Each new image is like another blow to her gut. And each brings on a more violent and painful wave of sobs as she replays the last moments over and over again in her head. Somehow, she manages to get herself up the stairs and into her bedroom. Closing the door to deter her father, she climbs into bed. She doesn't bother to change her clothes and pulls the covers over her face. She's hot and her clothes are too tight and uncomfortable for sleeping in. Snot is dripping down her nose, making her lips slimy. But she doesn't do anything to stop it or clean herself up. She doesn't fight it.

She deserves it. All of the pain, the hideousness, the discomfort. She deserves to be uncomfortable, to be blubbering her eyes out. The whole ordeal is her fault. Elvis may have suggested the idea, but she had plenty of chances to change the outcome. He gave her a chance to tell him the truth and get him back. The chance to show him, to tell him that she wants him. That she loves him.

But she didn’t. She just sat there like a stupid idiot, incapable of functioning like a human person. She grips her shoulders in anger at herself and screams into her pillow. She's the only reason she's lost him.

It is your fault, she says to herself. You did this.

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

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