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hotchfiles · 5 months

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second. damn your love.

masterlist

pairing: james x fem!reader.

content warnings: james being kind of an ass, cheating on lily, lily will be probably shit talked (i luv her i'm very sorry !), mistress!reader, uhhh cursing, not totally AU but like... canon divergent i would say. probably hurt/no comfort unless i switch the ending but--

worth mentioning: reader insert with no use of names or “y/n”. paragraphs completely in italic are flashbacks. pro quidditch player!james. muggle born!reader.

word count: 2,2k

previous chapter

chapter 2

for some reason unknown to you, it hadn't taken james as long as usual to give you any sign that he still remembered your existence after being with you. surprisingly, on the same day after dropping you off at home and rushing to be with his girlfriend, he sent you a message through his patronus (much too recklessly as you lived in a majorly muggle neighbourhood), apologizing for what had happened.

normally, you would believe his words, and then become disappointed. however, after what happened, you didn't believe anything he said, you knew he wasn't sorry and you knew you probably wouldn't be seeing him for a while.

all you felt like doing was laying down, still feeling completely shaken, disappointed, angry... betrayed, and it took you a while to stop crying, you couldn't believe how easy it was to manipulate you, two days together and you actually started to think things were changing.

ingenuity or just the hard truth: it was easier to let yourself believe it.

luckily, or not, you still had your commitment to your responsibilities, if not your pride, you would try to maintain that instead, so the best decision was to get yourself together as best as you could the next day and go to work.

even though you lived mostly among muggles, a decision you had made long before graduating hogwarts, you still ended up in a ministry job, an obliviator. not the most glamorous, and a lot of times you thought about getting a muggle job, but years went on and you got comfortable with it. sometimes being able to forget is the best option there is.

so got yourself together you did, the best as you could included showing up office ready and giving off the obvious energy that you did not want to be perturbed, especially after taking the tube half an hour later than you normally would, too loud, too full, it was probably one of the few times over the last years you wished you could just apparate in front of the right phone cabin. but an obliviator risking wizarding secrecy would be too much of an hypocrisy.

you made sure you wouldn't be making any field work, taking the liberty to be shut in your office filling paperwork and crying, as any mature woman would if they were in your shoes: exhausted from hating yourself because you knew you were an excellent witch, a strong-willed independent woman and still, every time james potter smiled at you, you felt nothing but weakness.

and there it was, the weakness as soon as you left the ministry building and felt his gaze upon you, simply leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, his face completely relaxed.

your hands went straight to your eyes, reminding yourself of their appearance, you looked up at the sky for a few seconds and wondered if there was a god, because it didn't matter how much you begged either merlin or godric, you still didn't get one single moment of peace.

"were you crying?" he asked straight away, without even explaining why he was there. you shook your head denying it and found refuge for eyes on your feet. "you're a terrible liar."

"i don't think you know me that well anymore," you sighed and tried your best to look at him firmly. "no car today?"

"i don't indulge on those very often, apparition is still a thing, you know?" you tried your very best not to roll your eyes at the arrogance he displayed, favoring instead the idea that he had the car for the weekend to please you. "you ignored my patronus, i feel like you probably didn't even check your mail, my poor owl working over time for nothing, and you're the only witch i know who doesn't have a bloody fireplace. kinda got worried that you were mad at me." his lips formed the pout you knew so well, and you had to bite you lips to prevent yourself from smiling.

"not having the fireplace goes hand in hand with the anti-apparition charm on my apartment." you shrugged, it was a way to avoid unwanted guests, so he pretended to be the upmost offended by that. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on the reasons why you were angry with him. "we need to talk."

"we can do that in your apartment. let's talk there." he nodded, and you agreed. it wasn't something to discuss so close to where you worked, for sure. he offered his arm so you would apparate together and you ignored it completely, stretching your arm to the street to get a minicab to stop for you both.

"i'm not risking magic exposure and being fired because you rarely indulge on cars, potter." weirdly enough he doesn't try to convince you otherwise, getting on the backseat with you.

on the way he told you he had been waiting for you for at least forty minutes, which you weren't sure was even true, but on any other day you would've swooned over, but his true intentions showing up came to light so quickly, you couldn't. james kept touching your thigh with his right hand slowly, teasingly, and a pantsuit was never as helpful as then, because of it you could ignore his touches or at least pretend to ignore it.

despite the touches, james maintained a casual conversation with you, talking about trivialities from his day, like forgetting to take his vitamin supplement in the morning and running less that afternoon so he could get home in time to take a shower and pick you up. at least that was the term he used, even though you were in a cab.

you enjoyed having conversations like that with him, knowing how his day had been and how he felt about the team, the training sessions... it brought a sense of normality, as if you were just an ordinary couple talking about everything or just friends talking about your lives. but at that moment, you couldn't enjoy it the way you normally would due to what still lingered on your mind from the previous night, not to mention the fact that the words coming out of his mouth sounded innocent, but his eyes and hands overflowed with nothing but.

you felt like you were under torture, the rational part of your brain competing with your emotional part, which was shaken by any touch from james, any scraps of attention. you even felt relief when you arrived at your building, especially because there were other people in the elevator, preventing him from grabbing you there and making you forget everything you so wanted to tell him. but it didn't last long. as soon as you reached your floor, you were grabbed from behind, his hands firm on your waist while his lips roamed your neck.

"james, we need to talk," you repeated what said before, freeing yourself from his arms and walking towards the door. you unlocked it with a silent charm and left the door open for him to enter next.

"talk about what?" you heard the question, but his tone showed no interest in talking. in fact, he pulls you by the arm and pushes you against the nearest wall, trapping you with his arms. you lost your breath for a few seconds due to the proximity. "we can talk later," james whispers in your ear, brushing his lips softly against yours, one of his hands touching your waist under your blouse. you almost lose it, but finds the strength to get out of his embrace and leave to the kitchen.

"i want to talk about us." you said seriously, resolute in your decision to give him an ultimatum, tired of being the mistress, but you couldn't deny that after his teasing, you just wanted to wrap your legs around his waist and hear him say your name in between moans.

"brilliant, let's talk." james begins, slowly moving closer to you. "but we could just go to your room and enjoy our time in a more pleasurable way." you feel his hands again grabbing you around the waist, and his lips brushed lightly against your ear as he detailed all the other pleasurable things he could be doing to you. you give up, defeated, letting out a grunt and pulling him to you, starting a desperate kiss as he takes off your pantsuit and leads you stumbling back to your bed.

it was late at night, almost two in the morning, when the noise woke you up, almost frightened as you had no idea what it could be at that time. your first instinct was to obviously grab your wand and go to the living room, ready to disarm or worse if it was an intruder, but you noticed that it someone knocking frantically on your door.

"who is it?" you asked loud and clear, assuming it was a stranger trying to pull some kind of scam, you've heard of cases like that happening around the muggle neighbourhoods, the knocking then stopped and you thought you had scared away whoever was there, but you were wrong.

"it's me…" the voice was familiar, but you doubted it was who the voice reminded you of, so you waited for more before you decided or not to open it. "james." you froze and held you breath, but still denying mentally that it could be him.

"james? need to be more specific."

"don't remember me anymore?" it was him, surely. james potter. you hadn't seen him since the turn of the previous year, but truthfully, you hadn't really spoken to him in years, you couldn't even imagine how in hell had he found your address. "potter."

"what you doing here?" you open the door, giving him the space he needed to enter and smelling the alcohol invading your apartment. "it's two in the morning."

"not sure…" he seemed a bit disoriented, obviously because of the alcohol, but he wasn't about to fall over drunk and you mentally thanked him for that. "was in a pub having a few, but they closed…kept thinking about you and here i am." a shiver ran through your whole body and you cussed yourself, it was pathetic how he could still cause such a thing so many years after your relationship, after your last kiss, unfortunately you had never really managed to forget him, but instead you hid him deep in your memories, that way you wouldn't have to deal with your true feelings for him when you saw each other at a mutual friend's house or anything of the sort.

but still, you did to this day found yourself thinking about him at times, but that didn't help you understand why he would be there at such a time, or why he would be thinking about you when in fact the only reason you had left his life was because of him, because if he wasn't such a dick, you might still be in a relationship today, or at least be best friends like you used to be.

"know what…" even though you haven't responded to anything he's said before, he sits down on your sofa awkwardly and you feel completely uncomfortable with the situation, crossing your arms, unable to move more than that. "i'm such a twat." james lets out a weak laugh of discontent. "letting you go that day… mum told me what happened, but I still didn't look for you." it was amazing how he could form sentences almost perfectly even though he stank of alcohol miles away.

"james, what do you want?" you sigh, still not understanding anything that's going on. he simply gets up and walks towards you, making you instinctively move away until you reach the end of the line, one of the walls of the living room. "potter?"

"i want things between us to go back to normal." his perfume takes you over as he gets closer, replacing the smell of firewhiskey, and you try not to get dizzy. "just want you." panic is your first reaction as his lips come close to yours and you push him away.

"you have a girlfriend." you look into his eyes, being as serious as possible without showing how tempted you were, making exaggerated gestures with your hands to show him how wrong it was.

"shh, forget it, just f'now. i'll fix it, swear i'll fix everything." you soften at his words and sigh, you're probably losing your mind but still you walk towards him with your arms open for a hug and he immediately finds himself taking the chance.

"missed you." your voice nothing but a whisper and james nods in response, stroking your hair.

the affectionate embrace evolves quickly into a quiet kiss that becomes more and more desperate and before you know it, you're both on the sofa, blending into one.

you woke up the next day feeling partially satisfied, but guilt consumed you entirely, you had slept with a commited guy, what kind of woman were you? and not only that… what would james and you be from then on?

"bloody hell." and there you were, waking up after given in to james' charms again, just like the first time, just like every time after that, it was frustrating how much power he held over you, you couldn't take it anymore, you were done.

tag: @xcinnamonmalfoyx

#lari writes sometimes #marauders imagine #james potter scenario #james potter imagine #james potter x you #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james x reader #james x you #james x y/n #marauders x reader #marauders x you

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beanghostprincess · 5 months

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What’s so fascinating about shuggy that makes you go this wild? Aren’t shanks completely over this guy? And buggy just bitter? Am I interpreting it wrong?

I'm not gonna ask whether you want the short or the long version, because I'm gonna give you the longest, gayest version no matter what you tell me. So. Yeah. I think I'm kind of crazy about them but in a very normal way (I just lied on the internet). I'm gonna answer your last three questions before actually getting into the subject of why Shuggy makes me go so wild:

(Spoilers: manga ch.1082 and that Wano flashback)

Shanks being "completely over this guy" would be a very simple way to put his feelings for Buggy into words, I think. Although the fandom exaggerates the way he feels for him (turning into obsession and just complete depression) for fun or for angst purposes (I must say I don't really dislike it and I do believe Shanks still holds Buggy close to his heart in this way, and if we talk in a shippy way, he's definitely the clingy one) I think Shanks isn't completely over Buggy. At least not in the cynical way some people say. I think that after parting ways, Shanks accepted Buggy leaving him. I don't think he quite understands his reasons (he never will, tbh) but accepted his decision. I think he tried to choose the more mature way (not that he had other options) and moved on. But moving on doesn't mean forgetting or being completely over someone, because I wholeheartedly think that even if Buggy isn't on his mind 24/7, he's still one of the most important people in Shanks' life and story. Buggy is there in the back of his mind like a catchy song you can't get rid of, you know? It itches sometimes, too, but Shanks can't do anything about it so he just lives with it. To Shanks, he would gladly reconnect with Buggy and go back to the way they were in the blink of an eye, but he knows it can't be. I think Shanks has moved on but the second somebody mentions Buggy he goes into nostalgia mode and thinks about their times together back when they were just kids with endless dreams aboard the Oro Jackson. I think Shanks has more things to worry about than his past to be the way the fandom portrays him, but that doesn't mean he has completely forgotten about it and doesn't want Buggy back. Because he definitely does.

Buggy is- He isn't just bitter. I don't think you can say Buggy is just bitter when Shanks' decision was what determined his whole life. Leaving the thing about the map and the devil fruit aside (which also affects the story but we know his resentment isn't really about that) Buggy has every right to feel the way he does towards Shanks. Perhaps it's just that I find this pathetic clown to be very relatable, but I will always be both a Buggy apologist and defender. I'll probably get into a more detailed version of this later, but Buggy isn't just bitter. Buggy is rightfully frustrated at how his life ended up to be without Shanks. "But he's the one who left Shanks"... Is he, though? He did leave Shanks physically, but Shanks was the first to break the relationship. The thing about Buggy that I absolutely love is how his character portrays envy and jealousy into a... I wouldn't say healthy way, but at least not a damaging way to Shanks. Despite fighting all the time, they obviously loved and cared for each other. Being best friends and the youngest of the crew, always together in both the worst and best of their moments, etc. So Buggy, even though he lived as Shanks' shadow, that isn't why he's resentful towards him. He could be angry about that, right? Just bitter Roger chose him to keep his legacy alive instead of him. But no. Buggy chose to follow Shanks instead because he trusted him. Because he thought "Well, I might not be able to follow my dream, but Shanks will do it for us as our captain's legacy". Which makes sense because they were so damn close. They're always together. Like. Just watch/read the Oden flashback. Their presentation was even together, lmfao. And when they talk about them, they mention them together. The whole thing about Shanks not going to Laugh Tale to take care of Buggy? It's just- It's just so obvious that they were best friends and intended to be together forever. Buggy was willing to follow Shanks until the end of the world until Shanks hesitated when asked about following Roger's steps (Buggy doesn't actually say he'll be in Shanks' crew, but the way he reacts to Shanks' words makes me think he would've accepted to go with him as a co-captain until... Well. Yeah. That happened). And like, I get it. Shanks knew they were too young. Shanks knew they needed to grow up and live more experiences as pirates before going to Laugh Tale and for the One Piece. For Shanks it's just a little pause before they actually fulfill their dreams. But for Buggy? For Buggy, his whole world is crumbling down because the person he trusted the most literally told him he wasn't going to follow their dream. For Buggy, Shanks doesn't take the role of Roger's legacy seriously enough, so it's unfair. It's unfair that he had to leave his dream behind for him. It's unfair that he trusted him. It's unfair that Shanks didn't believe in himself. It's unfair that their captain died. It's unfair that now Buggy has to be completely on his own, with no ability to swim and no map to follow because Shanks also ruined that for him. So, yeah, Buggy is a bit more than just bitter, and rightfully so. It's classic miscommunication because obviously, Shanks wasn't going to give up on going to Laugh Tale, but Buggy takes it that way. And he also sees it as Shanks doubting himself and the dream and it's unfair that the one who got the straw hat is the one to hesitate, and the one who didn't get anything is the one who wants to fight for their dream. Buggy is more than just bitter. I know it's played for laughs, but his grudge towards Shanks is deeper than that.

You are not interpreting it wrong, tbh. I think the fandom just exaggerates their behavior and in canon you pretty much have to analyze the characters to fully understand them. If you're not a fan of these two characters, their whole relationship can feel like "Oh, they were just friends in the same crew" even when it's way deeper than that. Although I think chapter 1082 (my favorite chapter ngl I've read it so many times google instantly shows it to me when I look for the page where I read OP) explains what I just said pretty well from Buggy's POV.

So now onto the real question, what's so fascinating about Shuggy?

I'm gonna be honest with you, before writing this I have to say that I have a tendency to love these types of ships. Soukoku (BSD) and Satosugu (JJK) are no exception and they follow the same "former BFFs/partners who turned into enemies and are very very gay". The reason I like these three ships so much is probably because of personal experiences I'm not gonna talk about, but somebody mentioned something very interesting about lesbians/sapphics relating to these ships because we always have this experience about having a really close girl bff that we have a crush on, but since we don't acknowledge the real feelings, it ends up in a very toxic way that leads only to resentment and nostalgia. And, you know, as a lesbian who has been through that I can confirm wholeheartedly that this is why Shuggy is so important to me (considering Shuggy a ship for the lesbians in my heart </3)

Leaving that aside and the fact that childhood best friends to lovers is like my favorite trope, I just think their characters are so perfectly written. And it's surprising because they barely have scenes talking about each other or being with each other (Marineford is Shuggys' Roman Empire atp, although I will always remember that first flashback in episode 8 in the anime. That changed my life fr). But their story is made with so much care and love for the characters (it's obvious Oda likes Buggy a lot) that you can feel it. At least I do. Because although not having many scenes they've completely taken over my heart and soul.

Shanks is a very complicated character due to lack of information and the fact that we know he hides something deeper, but he is, after all, a symbol of hope and dreams. At least for our main character. Shanks is the main reason why Luffy becomes a pirate and there are so many parallelisms between them that I can't count them. I find it so ironic that the symbol of hope and freedom Luffy follows is actually somebody who crushed somebody's dreams and hopes. Talk about irony, right? And then we have Buggy, who's the complete opposite. With Buggy's first appearance (and honestly all of his scenes until the Wano flashback and chapter 1082) we think he's one of the bad guys. And yeah, all of them are like that because they're pirates and yadda yadda. But I'm talking about "bad guy" as in "bad bad person with no hopes and dreams and that is just interested in being feared and powerful". And he is a failguy. A very funny one, too. But he's so much more. And the fact that this comedic relief character that's always played for laughs when it comes to his own misery turns out to be the one who has the biggest of dreams and the biggest of heartbreaks about it? It just shatters my heart.

Shuggy makes me go wild because of Buggy, mostly, ngl. I wouldn't like Shanks this much if it wasn't for Shuggy, probably (I love him a ton outside of his relationship with Buggy, but you know, it makes things a lot easier). I like Shuggy because the topics the ship touches are very emotional and angsty and they crush me completely. Buggy living in Shanks' shadow? Buggy wanting to follow Roger's steps and following Shanks instead because his self-esteem disappeared the moment his captain's legacy ended up on Shanks instead of him? The trust he had in Shanks? The way Shanks hesitates and the way Buggy refuses to follow somebody like that? Buggy running away on his own because he gave up his dream for somebody who doesn't even treat it the way it deserves? It's just heartbreaking. Especially if you have in mind that they just lost the man that raised them.

Buggy then becomes somebody that people make fun of and ridicule, and they don't even think about the possibility of him being part of the crew of the king of the pirates. And when they find out, they can't believe it. They don't talk about this much, but I think that it must hurt so fucking much to be seen this way. He was just as important as Shanks. Roger loved him too. And to this day, being Shanks' shadow still haunts him. I love the angst Shuggy has. It breaks me and I love it.

Then, (and this is something I adore) with the creation of Cross Guild, Buggy has the chance to get out of Shanks' shadow. He's surrounded by two guys who only think about money and stability and business and... It's boring, isn't it? It's not flashy! And I think he has this realization of "this is my chance to prove I'm worth something. This is my chance to actually go for my dream. Mine" because these two idiots keep talking about boring things instead of following their dreams and aspirations and bigger things! And it just shows how much Buggy truly cared about Laugh Tale and the One Piece and how much he has had to wait for it. And this has nothing to do with Shuggy, I just really love this fucking clown.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I love Shanks making Buggy lose the map and eat the devil fruit. Because, okay, in retrospect it feels very stupid because it was a simple accident. But just hear me out- Even though it was an accident, Buggy lost his ability to swim for powers he didn't want. He lost the ability of independence, because what's a pirate on his own if he can't swim? He lost his individuality that night, and we see him depend on others constantly throughout the show. And Shanks mentioning that Buggy is a great swimmer? Oh, fuck you Oda for making me cry so early in the show. Then, the map. He lost his individuality and then he lost the only thing that led him to a future with treasures and his dreams. Then again, losing his independence because he couldn't just go on his own without a map. Fucking great. The fact that Shanks jumps to rescue him the second Buggy starts to drown haunts me at night, too. They're just so-- Ugh.

But Shuggy is not everything about Buggy's resentment and angst. And it's not about Shanks missing him and wanting his best friend back because he doesn't know what happened for him to run away so easily.

It's also about unconditional love, and I am so passionate about that. Shanks care and love for Buggy is something the fandom exaggerates but... These people are not wrong, tbh. Shanks gave up his dream to go to Laugh Tale (postponed it) to stay with Buggy and take care of him because he was sick. Shanks is a very selfless person all the way, and when it comes to Buggy it seems that he doesn't hesitate to put him first (in serious situations. Their usual arguments don't count. They're just stupid, and love to argue and fight like the divorced couple they are). And besides, this happens right in the same episode after Toki gets sick and Oden wants to take care of her but she forces him to follow his dream and leave her behind. Like- What the actual fuck. Ah, yes, parallel the main couple in the Wano arc. I'm sure that's not romantic at all. The difference is that Shanks stayed. And god, does that hurt. Especially when he says they'll go on their own one day, because it shows he cared about Laugh Tale too (I mean, ofc, but from Buggy's POV it's just different).

To end this I also want to say that, leaving the whole deep analysis behind: Their personalities just match. They're funny to watch. They're cute. They have an angsty story behind them. They won't stop arguing like little kids but they care for each other still. They are chaotic. They're just... Perfect for each other.

Hope you liked my tiny essay about them because I could've kept going on and on and on about it, but some people (like me, sadly) have to wake up early tomorrow to work instead of just posting about gay fictional characters (somebody please pay me to do these things and I'll stay on tumblr 24/7).

#TL;DR: they're very in love and angsty and i love childhood bffs to lovers #they make me go insane as you can see #i am so not normal about them #one piece #red haired shanks #buggy the clown #shuggy #shanks x buggy #buggy x shanks

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achaotichuman · 7 months

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Acotar Rant Time

The amount of shit Rhysand says about Tamlin that's just straight up not true is so annoying. The main reasons people hate Spring boy is just because of whatever Rhysand or Morrigan has conjured up to make the Night Court look better.

I'm fairly certain it was Morrigan who went on her little tangent about how Feyre would have been 'bred like a prized mare' at the Spring Court. When Tamlin literally mentioned in passing having a SINGLE son far into the future. At the tithe he told Feyre his son would continue on with the duties of High lord, then added, someday. SOMEDAY he didn't want a kid immediately, and I highly doubt Tamlin even wanted children for the sake of having children, it was a duty he would HAVE to fulfill, it wasn't optional, he needed an heir. I have my theories if Tamlin had a choice he wouldn't ever have children. Especially since it is mentioned oh so many times that he wanted to go off in a travelling act, I doubt he even wanted a relationship. I also find it so, so difficult to believe that Tamlin would have wanted more than one child because he grew up in a household with older siblings. He damn well knows the competition in a place like that. He carries the trauma of it everyday! He would never want to inflict that on his kid!

Then there's Rhysand. He was the one who carried on about how Tamlin should've tried to get Feyre out from Under the Mountain. He did! He sent her back to the human lands to get her away from Amarantha! It was Feyre's choice to go Under the Mountain. She could've stayed in the human lands and lived a rich, lavish life, and she chose to go after Tamlin. Not to mention, Amarantha had been waiting for Tamlin for fifty years, she wasn't about to give him any chance to run. Rhysand actually said to Feyre Under the Mountain that eyes and ears were on Tamlin at all times. If Tamlin tried to get her out from Under the Mountain, he would've failed and signed Feyre's death warrant. Not to mention human Feyre used to be badass as fuck and would've absolutely scoffed at Tamlin if he tried to get her out from the Under the Mountain, she loved him and the Spring Court. She wouldn't have left even if given the chance.

Then there's what Rhysand said about Tamlin locking Feyre up because 'he knew she was gem'. Now, what Tamlin did to Feyre was abusive. He did become abusive during that period of time towards her, none of what I'm about to state disagrees with that. However, if you're going to hate this man, hate him for legitimate reasons. Tamlin never locked her up 'because she was a gem he wanted to hoard'. That's a straight up lie. It is stated many, many times throughout Acomaf and Acowar that Tamlin locked Feyre up because in his mind that was the only way to prevent her from getting into danger. He had an actual concern, and that concern was valid, but he took it way, way, way too far. He never should've locked her in there. I'm glad that Feyre got away from that situation. But he never *wanted* to hurt her. Tamlin has never been a malicious man (cough unlike Rhysand cough) His abuse towards Feyre was terrible and she absolutely was right in getting out. But none of his abuse was ever designed to hurt her. When it comes to narcissists, or self-serving abusers, their abuse is carefully crafted, it is designed to hurt. Tamlin however never intended to hurt her. It wasn't crafted to break her. Tamlin's mental health is completely fucked, and I highly doubt he ever came out of fight or flight mode, if you've ever been stuck in fight or flight mode, you'd know it fucking sucks. Every single little thing becomes a massive threat. And in his fucked mind Tamlin was convinced the actions he was taking were the best course of action to protect her from harm, not to cause it. Obviously, this does not excuse his actions, but it does help to explain them, and knowing what drove you to do things is the first step in being able to take accountability and then work on it.

Not to mention, Tamlin has taken accountability, he knows he's fucked up. He helped bring Rhys back to life, told Feyre to be happy because he knew that couldn't happen if she was with him, then he fucked off back to the Spring Court.

And you know what really drives me up the fucking wall? When Feyre insisted she was stronger now and didn't need protection from the sentries and Tamlin responded with "my family were fae and they were killed quite easily." Like that is a valid fucking point! They were killed very easily! Tamlin would be extremely traumatized from that! He probably blames himself for not protecting his mother! The death of his family is most likely one of the core reasons for his extreme paranoia! Am I saying he was justified in his actions in protecting Feyre? No! What I am saying is that you cannot hate him because of his intentions! Hate him for his actions, fine! But never once throughout this entire goddamned series did he intentionally want to hurt Feyre!

Anyway, this post is quite long, sorry for that. In summary, hate Tamlin all you want, but at the very least hate him for the things he actually did. I'm probably missing a ton of other things Rhysand's straight up made up about Tamlin, but these are the main things I've found people hate him for. Tell me if I've missed anything.

#pro tamlin #tamlin redemption #tamlin deserves better #hate him for what he's actually done #not what rhysand made up #this was very long

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globalrebrand · 2 years

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Pregnancy Headcanons

Part I: Jack, Vil, Divus

Warnings: None, fluff! Pregnancy and afab!reader, neutral pronouns.

A/N: A repost from my old blog

Jack Howl

When Jack finds out you're pregnant he's determined. He's committed to giving you and your baby the best life possible. His tail is wagging nonstop all day after you tell him the good news. There's a chance the baby was an accident but Jack has always wanted a large family like his own, as long as the two of you are committed to each other (it's canon he commits for life remember that) and have the means to care for another child, he's not too concerned about perfect timing.

Jack is resolved to being the best father he can even before the baby arrives. He makes sure that he gets on top of every task. He's building the crib and painting the nursery. He'll start doing more chores to make you life easier. He wants you to have a stress free pregnancy if possible. Jack might run himself ragged trying to take care of you and work so make sure you don't work him to hard, but then again his immense stamina is part of what knocked you up in the first place 😉

He's your diligent servant for the entire pregnancy. He would only ever take orders from you, but he also recognizes and is deeply reverent of the fact that you are doing him a favor by having his child. He is so grateful and he'll tell you often, back rubs and foot massages every night if you want.

Takes being yelled at the on the chin, doesn't complain once about your mood swings. Just don't tell him he's a bad partner or that he doesn't support you. By all means bitch him out about how he bought the wrong brand of hot sauce or that the thermostat is too low but any words too biting and he'll get a bit dejected. He'll care for you like nothing happened, but damn, he didn't know your mood swings would be so brutal.

Jack is a man of action, so he's going to the store at 2am to get you your snack cravings. He'll be in the kitchen crafting what ever abomination you ask of him. As long as you're eating healthy more often that not Jack lets you eat whatever you want.

Tries to win the prenatal classes by being the most organized and vigilant partner in the room. The instructor is always giving him compliments on how committed he is and it just feeds his ego.

Cuddles you closely every night. Spoons you from behind with a hand on your belly while you clutch your body pillow and curls his tail around your thigh.

Gets very overprotective. Someone bumps into you on the street and he's growling, hackles raised and ready to pounce. It's all you can do to talk him down.

Lets you have whatever birthing option you want, he'd be a bit squeamish about seeing everything but he wants to be there to support you in anyway he can.

Vil Schoenheit

When he finds out your pregnant Vil will be so proud. He's very pleased to be able to create a precious child in the image of two beautiful parents. He's very careful about family planning so when you two get pregnant its very deliberate and well thought out. Vil is likely on some kind of male birth control so there's really no chance in hell of him accidentally getting anyone pregnant.

Vil will only start trying with you when he's settled and stable. No jetting off abroad every other week for photoshoots. Of course he'll still take projects and work, but if he has to go abroad for a long stretch of time to film he'll bring you with, granted you aren't too close to your due date.

While you love him dearly, you'll realize that Vil quickly becomes the pregnancy police. He's micromanaging you from the day you find out the baby is in your womb to the day it's born. You barely get to enjoy pregnancy cravings because Vil is strict on your diet. Even if you argue with him in a hormone induced rage he won't back down. He'll argue that giving into unhealthy cravings is selfish and puts the baby at risk, completely shaming you for wanting to indulge. He devises the perfect pregnancy diet for maximum nourishment for the baby and is intolerant of any deviations. His father sneaks you food though because he feels bad Vil is so strict but he's so stubborn and there's nothing he can say to change his mind.

You're not getting out of prenatal yoga. Vil didn't read through three books about it so you could tell him you don't want to do it. And morning runs only get suspended in the third trimester. Vil is committed to making sure you have an active pregnancy.

He's bad at handling the mood swings. He knows he should give you more grace but his pride struggles with tolerating the blatant disrespect. On days where you really upset him he'll snap back but he'll immediately feel guilty when he sees you staring to cry. He has to remind himself that you're doing an amazing, incredibly difficult task by carrying a child, his child. He makes up for it by pampering you with massages, frequent spa days.

He's so cuddly during your pregnancy. Vil is normally kind of like a cat with his affection. He wants it when he wants it and you better not turn him down. But when you want affection he'll probably be less likely to indulge you if he's not in the mood. However with your pregnancy he can't get enough of holding and caressing you, he's just delighted you're carrying his baby!

Is so excited to dress you in cute clothing and find lingerie that accentuates your bump. He thinks you look adorable all round, he can't keep he hands off of you!

Vil gets oddly sentimental over the course of your pregnancy. He documents everyday of your pregnancy on his personal, private magicam account. He'll publish a pregnancy photoshoot to his main account but that's it. He's super private with your pregnancy he doesn't need too many prying eyes, your pregnancy makes him more protective than he was before.

He wants you to have a home birth if possible and he wants to able to be close to you while you labor. Fuck being stuck outside in a waiting room with all the other men. He'd gladly deliver the baby if you'd let him.

Your labor is a rare time where you could be yelling at him, cursing him out and he would just smile at you warmly and take it because very soon there will be a precious child for the two of you to cherish together and he couldn't be more excited!

Divus Crewel

The One True Baby Daddy

He's the best dad in the Twisted Wonderland cast hands down. He's stern about your health but understands that you'll need to indulge your cravings, making him more lenient than Vil but not nearly as whipped as Jack.

Crewel will be pleased to find out you're pregnant. He claims he doesn't want pups of his own but it's all a lie. After your first pregnancy he's going to want many many more babies. Like a minimum of six. He'll mention it briefly before the two of you get married but he doesn't really make it a priority. Birth control was thrown out the window the day you said 'I do'.

He knows how to deal with mood swings like a pro. He deals with hormonal teenagers with magic everyday, you don't think he can handle one pregnant person? Please, honestly you'll find it hard to get short with him because every time you start getting upset he'll just give you a slightly amused smirk and nod along with your complaints.

Like Vil, Crewel is also very excited to dress you in cute clothing and find lingerie that accentuates your bump. He'll be far more invested however, he's shopping with you and purchasing expensive items. It's not the last time you'll be pregnant with him so he doesn't mind splurging on some really nice pieces.

Talks to the tummy. At then end of a long day he vents to you and your tummy. "I swear those mutts at school have no morals, promise you'll be better than them alright puppy?" It's so sweet it makes you swoon.

Won't shut up about you at work. Every student at school will know that Crewel's partner is pregnant. "My puppies won't be as ill-behaved as you mutts."

Strong arms Crowley into giving him an extremely long amount of paternity leave. He might threaten to black mail him but who cares, Crewel has six months off for paternity leave, more time to take care of you!

He's so doting it's almost embarrassing but he won't let you shame him for being over the top. He's feeding you by hand, walking constantly with a hand at the small of your back and displaying every manner of his normal chivalry. He doesn't even realize he's doing it if you tell him that everything is a bit much he'll just tell you that this is what a good spouse does and to deal with it.

Brings you everywhere he can. Make sure you have opportunities to travel before the baby comes.

Gets an interior designer to style the perfect nursery. It fits the aesthetic of your gorgeous home and radiates luxury.

You're probably having multiples with him (because let's be real Crewel has a beastperson dog spouse to feed his fetish) So a home birth is probably out of the question, but he'll make sure you have the best medical facilities on Sage Isle for your birth.

When the day comes he's right by your side offering you reassurances. He can wait to meet your baby and he's knows that his little one is only the start of a big beautiful family.

#jack howl #jack howl x reader #twst jack #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #vil x reader #twst x reader #twst wonderland #jack x reader #divus crewel #crewel x reader #divus x reader #divus crewel x reader #twisted wonderland imagines

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bigdealsgoddog · 1 year

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Lookism guys trying to impress their s/o

Notes: gender neutral reader! This is just my hcs about how some of the lookism guys would try to impress their s/o(Jake kim, Samuel seo, vasco, Daniel)

Jake kim (kim gi myung)

Probably the least likely to feel the need to impress his s/o

Like he’ll absolutely do it if he knows it’ll get a certain reaction out of you but he’s pretty confident in himself

Maybe there’s a special hole in the wall place that he found or maybe he’ll take you to one of the places on big deal to be like “yeah I know this area really well, the people love me here and it’s amazing food”

He’d probably try to hide that he’s the leader of big deal for a while unless that’s how you end up meeting him/finding out about him

He’s more likely to try to impress you with things he found rather than material items and spending money. As is big deal doesn’t have a lot of money but he’s also not the type to just throw money around like that. Plus doing that attracts all the wrong people in his eyes.

Samuel seo (seo seongeun)

This man and his inferiority complex? You know DAMN WELL he’s gonna be dropping so much money on you to impress you

Fancy dinner dates, expensive liqour, his fancy car all the way back to his fancy apartment

See I feel like he wouldn’t like a gold digger as much as he wants to impress you with money I think he’s more likely to fall for someone who doesn’t give a shit about his social standing. Or who he even is for that matter

It’s the inferiority complex kicking in, he feels like he needs to get what’s not his, someone that doesn’t want him until he proves that he is the best option for them

So he’s gonna be a little disappointed when his attempt at impressing you doesn’t actually work out

He’d end up trying to impress you by finding out about a certain food/item that’s been discontinued and absolutely hunting that thing down and getting it for you. You’d be more impressed that he remembered that random niche thing about you but it’s honestly a little touching how hard he worked to find it for you

Please praise him that’s all he really wants

Vasco (Euntae lee)

He’d have all of burn knuckles memorize a performance or something like that, panicking because “he really needs to do this for s/o, everything is on the line”

It was like your fifth date and he heard something from vin jin that if you’re not spoiling your partner and showing them every moment why you were the best option then they might as well leave and poor guy took it to heart so now all of burn knuckles is getting ready to surprise you for what you thought was going to be a coffee date with vasco

Honestly suddenly being surrounded by all of burn knuckles while you were taking a walk in the park as they tried to do what looked to be interpretive dance? You honestly weren’t sure it was a little overwhelming

Actually a lot overwhelming

Jace thankfully was able to save the day rushing in and escorting the burn knuckles while vasco panics asking you what’s wrong and if there was something wrong with the surprise

You calmed him down and let him well the thought was nice but you didn’t really know why he went through all that trouble? He ended up explaining it all and you kinda just gave him that ‘Aw you poor thing’ look

“It’s ok vasco you don’t need to impress me just to keep me around” “i don’t?” It’s like a weight lifted off his shoulders

You also didn’t want to admit that when he works out seeing his muscles impresses you enough

Daniel park(hyeong seok)

I think he’s also one of the types to not want to try to impress his s/o?

Not to say that he’s super confident or anything but he knows how differently he was treated on surface level appearance alone so I think he would’ve probably fallen for an s/o who wouldn’t be all about impressions alone?

Like somebody he doesn’t feel like he needs to impress or act a certain way with but he’ll still try, he ends up asking Jay and joy what to get you, things he could do to impress you

He’s pleasantly surprised when you’re more impressed how he remembers your drink order at the nearby cafe and when he brings you your favorite pastry from the patisserie down the street

He ends up getting you some new clothes on occasion, like if he notices a specific hoodie or shirt you’d wear a lot he’ll try to get you clothes in similar brands/styles. And so long as you like it he’d get you a size up too because he noticed how much you like how big his clothes are on you

#lookism #lookism hc #lookism fluff hc #x reader hcs #Daniel park #Jake kim #Samuel seo #vasco #lookism Daniel #lookism Jake kim #lookism Samuel seo #lookism vasco

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aquanova99 · 10 months

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Haunted (Cato x Reader)

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Part 11

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A/N: I have been writing like a word a day I am struggling to find happiness and motivation in writing so I apologize for any delay. Hope everyone is doing okay out there!

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Y/n’s POV

The subtle shift immediately caused your eyes to spring open. You stayed frozen, hoping he you still needed to actually wake up. That this was all a dream of some kind and you hadn’t actually had the nerve to trap Cato by falling asleep on him.

Yeah, right. Life has never been that kind to you. You slowly unglue yourself from his shoulder and take even longer to face him. Before the apology leaves your lips, Cato interrupts.

“Did you sleep okay?”

The question takes you by surprise. The genuine concern in his voice makes it hard to discern whether or not he is upset at your clear disregard for boundaries. “I’m sorry… I didn’t think I was that tired. You were probably uncomfortable.”

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve slept that good since before the games.”

“Me either.” The realization finally hits you. This is the second time you’ve felt safe enough to let your guard down. You wondered if it was simply because your body knew there was someone else next to you. Part of you wondering, if it only applied to Cato. No. Things were complicated enough as it is. You look up again to find him intently staring and realize he seems to waiting for a reaction.

“I should go meet Katniss.”

You don’t wait for a response and dash up the stairs into your room. You begin regretting not taking one of the rooms on the first floor. You figured you’d be able to hear if anything stormed in. Give you more time to escape. Your brothers had tried to convince you everything was alright, to take the larger room. You almost had another episode when they decided to split the room. You shouldn’t have been such a coward. Now, you realized, you had to walk past almost every room. And that simply, was not an option. You’d probably woken everyone up. Your face felt warm at the thought of anyone seeing you and Cato in the living room. You threw the window open and hoped the cool air would help you figure out how to breathe again. You debated figuring out how to climb down to the first floor before deciding to get through this as quickly as you could.

You change as quickly as you can and do your best to pretend your heart isn’t racing a million miles a minute. The usually long hallway seemed to stretch even farther than normal. You walked and pretended you didn’t notice Cato and Enobaria in the kitchen. Pretended you didn’t hear their voices go silent as your footsteps approached. Pretended you didn’t see Cato and Enobaria stare as you walked by. Pretended as if their gazes didn’t burn through your facade as you hurried to get out of the house.

You had slept enough to know Katniss would be in the woods by now. You tracked her easily enough, and was glad to see Madge there as well. You didn’t want to talk about Cato’s plan you had decided to follow through on. You had debated it since you saw her and Gale, but really the less people knew the better. Than again, you told her about your act for Peeta…No. Even if she figured out it was an act, and she likely would, it was better you kept her out of the loop in case Snow decided to press for answers. More believable.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep in.”

“Sorry? You haven’t slept in in more than a month at this point. I’d say she earned it, wouldn’t you Katniss?”

“She’s right.” Katniss grumbled, “How did you manage to finally sleep?”

Start planting the seeds, Y/n. “I decided to watch some cheesy capitol movies with…one of the victors. And I fell asleep on the couch.”

Katniss stared for a moment but shrugged. Neither of the girls pressed further. Thank God. You knew Katniss caught the pause in your response. She knew if you didn’t say anything it was because it was not meant to be shared with anyone else, even Gale. Damn. If you needed anyone to support your fake relationship it was Gale. He was popular enough at school people would agree with whatever he said, and you could only assume his character extended to the people he worked with in the mines. You knew this was easier said than done. Gale was no fan of showing any kind of performance for the Capitol, and he’d be less likely to support anything with a career. You had to convince Katniss what you were doing was real, or real enough so she could convince him to play nice for the cameras.

After collecting some strawberries with Madge while Katniss shot some wild turkeys it was time to head back. Checking any snares on the way back. A few rabbits to add to the pile. This would be a good haul for Katniss and Gale’s families. Madge split off first, paying Katniss for the strawberries, though she was met with some resistance.

“You picked those yourself Madge.”

“Its for being protection out there. I don’t plan on going out there by myself.” She pressed the money into her hands and walked off before Katniss could argue farther.

“She makes a good point.” You offer

“It feels like I haven’t earned it.”

“Believe me you earned it.” Katniss’s lips twitched ever so slightly, the closest you usually get to a smile. “Going to trade the turkeys?”

She nodded and the two of you headed towards the hob. Stopping to drop the two rabbits off at Hazels, and one at her own home. You let her do her usual trading done, while you eat buy you both some food from Greasy Sae.

“So where are you hiding your mentor?”

“You brought Cato here?”

You smile at the older woman, “I did, he said it was some of the best food he’s ever tasted. He’ll be so upset I didn’t bring him.”

You wink at Sae and she chuckles before going back to her business, Katniss is analyzing your words. Unsure of what to make of everything, you’re sure. She doesn’t ask any other questions and you start to worry about whether she would say anything else. You both eat in silence, only thanking Greasy Sae when you both finish.

“Are you going to see your mom today?”

“Sure.” Thank god, you think. Katniss waits for the two of you to be completely alone in front of your house before she speaks.

“Do I need to know something?”

“What? Why?”

“You brought a career into the hob? They aren’t welcome there.”

“It was just Cato. And they all seemed fine with him there. Relax.”

“Y/n. He’s still a career. People are going to talk.” That’s the point. They need to keep talking. Not only to sell the act you’re about to perform this next year but to start changing how they see the careers. Something besides from vicious killers and nothing more.

“Talk about what? Cato is a friend. I showed him somewhere he was curious about”

“Right. Which victor was with you when you decided to watch a movie?”

“What’s your point, Katniss?”

“You two are just…close.”

“Yeah we’re both responsible for 23 kids not being able to come back home.” You didn’t intend for the words to come out so harshly. You can tell Katniss recoils at the words, “Its not like hunting animals. Nothing like it at all. I still cant stop thinking about…everything. And its just easier to have someone who understands it. Have you and Gale ever talked about it?”

“…No.” And just like that, you know you’ve at least gotten your point across. “I never thought it would be the same.”

“I know. Gale did. And I get the thought process, but the aftermath… anyways. How is he doing with his new job?”

“Okay I guess. I don’t think it would be easy to go down there.”

“Yeah I couldn’t either.”

“Are you going to come hunting on Sunday?”

“Isn’t Sundays a you and Gale thing?”

Her cheeks go red. “It would be fine.”

It would clearly not be fine. “Just this one Sunday? And then I don’t have to again right?”

“It might have gotten better.” She offered

“I don’t want to find out.”

“Then it can just be this one Sunday.”

You smile at her as she stands to go back home. You hesitate to enter your old home but you need to find out exactly what Mallory and Amal talked to them about. You force yourself to take a deep breath and knock on the door. The door flies open, almost taking out your mother as it swings back.

“Finally. You need to tell us exactly what’s going on.”

You told them nothing. The visit started out fine enough. Your brothers had been relatively quiet. Saying the victors had been called to teach you how to do interviews for the victory tour, which was true, and so that you would know what to expect from the capitol, also true. But your brothers had left too much out, your mother knew there was more you were hiding from her. She had no idea about the sponsors. You felt yourself relax. You assured her that was all they were here for. Your father sat staring daggers at you, probably sure you were lying and not as willing as your mother had been to accept your reassurances. Then everything became blurry. Your mother went from curious to irritated at not being able to get it together before they came here. Not showing a good image of a proper victor. She started yelling about falling asleep next to Cato when he had been sick. Started wondering about how I was suddenly fixed. Then the yelling became a little more noticeable when she got in front of your glazed over eyes. You blinked and heard your father complaining about you were conveniently choosing to not be present in important family matters. You glanced at the old clock hanging on the wall, and decided it had been a long enough day and stood up to leave.

You could hear the sounds coming from their mouths, but the noises didn’t register as anything in your brain. You walked numbly back home. Still not quite able to hear anything as you walked back in your house. You half recognized someone calling your name from the kitchen. You kept walking to your room, you saw Cato’s head turn back to look at you as you passed the living room. You continued walking. You were barely at the top of the steps before you felt someone grab your arm. Mallory is trying to say something to you, you think. Your thoughts, while still foggy, begin to react to your senses. You look at your hand for too long. You know you’re blinking too slowly, but your body does not seem to be in your control. The words ‘I’m fine,’ sound foreign coming out of your mouth. The only thing that feels natural is pulling your hand away and entering your room.

You don’t make it to your bed. You collapse a few feet in. At least your body seemed to know to at least make it the soft rug. You allow your body to sink into the floor, slowly, so slowly turning to the side. You bring your knees into your chest, and look straight ahead. Trying to find anything to ground you.

You left the window open…You took deep breaths by the window earlier…Did that work? It feels like ages ago…You force yourself back onto your hands and knees. Then focus on being able to kneel. One leg at a time…Why was this so much work?

You make it to the window eventually. The air offers some relief. You cant keeping blacking out like this. What if you zone out during the victory tour? The thought turns your stomach into knots, but its enough to somewhat snap you out of whatever fog had enveloped you this morning. When you open the door you find Cato sitting on the ground, maybe keeping watch. Guilt runs over you for worrying everyone. For not being able to hide it. He offers a half smile and you feign one back, pointing your head towards the direction of the stairs, silently asking him to follow you. He doesn’t hesitate to stand up and follow. The house feels empty… You open the door to your house and sit on the steps, you need to be outside. Realistically, you need to be out in the woods, but you cant…not yet.

“How bad was it?” You ask when he sits next to you

“Not great…” he admits, “Your brother looked pissed, he left right after you locked yourself in your room. Everyone else is with Haymitch.”

“They’re worried I’ll mess everything up during the tour.”

“Yeah.” You appreciated his honesty, it made it easier to not dance around the subject. He wouldn’t offer up most of his thoughts, but he didn’t hide them when asked. Made it easier to figure out how much you needed to work on.

“Do you think I can do this?”

“Yes.”

“Honestly?”

“Yes. You were scared before your interviews when you started the games, right? When you’re going through it, it’ll be different.”

It has to be, you think. You know he’s right. You weren’t fighting right now. You were what? Surviving? No, more like running, or hiding. Avoiding the scary things. When you couldn’t run, couldn’t hide…would you be able to pull it off? You had to.

“What did I miss today?”

His face twists ever so slightly, “I don’t think today is a good day to talk about it.”

“I cant avoid this forever. I have less than five months.”

“Effie sent tapes, and…cards. They wanted to work on the speeches you’ll give on tour.” You stop breathing. Trying to find words to say. Trying to find any response other than the words that are threatening to come out once again, I cant. But you have to, another voice says. You force your lungs to take another breath, when you are back to as normal as you can get, he continues, “Theres a generic speech Effie has prepared for most of the tributes. But for…some of them you may want to make a separate speech.”

He means Rue and Thresh… and Peeta. You think about some of the other tributes, then realize the rest of Panem only saw you responsible for their deaths. Not the training center, or discussing possible alliances. That was your weight to carry, no one else’s.

“Y/n?”

“Lets go see Haymitch. I have some memorizing to do.” You can tell he wants to protest, maybe suggest waiting one more day. Still, he ends up nodding and when he stands offers to help you up. You take his hand for the split second it takes to stand up, and try not to think about how you wished he would hold it the entirety of the short walk over.

The house is silent when you walk in. You’re still surprised how thoroughly Brutus has gone through this place. They all tentatively meet you at the entryway. Haymitch looks you over for a couple seconds before putting his arm on your shoulder and nods his head, you nod your head a few times to tell him you’re fine. He pats your shoulder and you follow him into his own living area.

“So, I hear you guys have the speech I need to memorize.” You say when you sit down

“We can start tomorrow.” Enobaria says

“No. Time is running out, and we still have to worry about making the people here believe there is something happening between me and Cato. I don’t have anytime to waste. I need to be able to at least do this speech in my sleep.”

Haymitch again stares for a little and then hands you the cards. Overall, it shouldn’t be too difficult. But you know you’re going to have something prepared for District 11 and 12. That could wait. Effie spared no expense of praise for the Capitol. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever…ugh. Well, at least this would help convince Snow you wanted to play along with whatever he wanted you to do. To a point, anyway.

“Okay, I’ll go memorize this now. Anything else?”

“We need to get you two out more. Start building up the romance. So maybe we can go out as a group. A tour, maybe somewhere with music…start there.” Cashmere states

Music? In 12? It would have to be in the square, there’s simply not enough time to dance around like the Capitol parties. But maybe in the better part of 12, they sometimes had people bring out flutes, fiddles, stuff like that. No those are for holidays, and we wouldnt have another one of those for a few months. Then there was the hob. But techincally those get togethers are very much against the rules, not like most peacekeepers care too much around here. But that many victors could draw unwanted attention. You would have to find the right time, figure out how to ask without raising suspicion. If you or Haymitch asked, your ruse would go up in flames immediately. You think of Madge, she could know, but again, you cant ask her. Katniss though…she could figure out how to ask the question. Our brothers were out of the question, Amal was the worst liar, and Mallory was terrible at keeping anything from him. Though, like Katniss, he would probably figure it out too.

“Got it,” you say, “I’ll figure out how to get us out in the public eye here. I’ll be back soon.”

“And just where the hell are you going?”

“Brutus, relax.” Enobaria tries

“We’ve already wasted a whole day. This is going to end badly for all of us.”

“I need to figure out how to set up times for us to get seen together, and I cant just go out and ask. It would be obvious. I need to figure out who to ask and how to do it without anyone knowing about our plans. My family cant know anymore. Mallory will figure it out on his own. Later. He needs to believe this as much as Snow does. I’ll be back.”

Whatever courage you had diminished the second you exited the house. The sun was beginning to set, and you needed to get your plan in motion. You walked as fast as you could without attracting any attention. Knocking entirely too loudly.

Katniss opened the door and immediately sits in front of the door closing it as quietly as she can to avoid her family listening in. You both whisper as quietly as you can regardless.

“You know if Peeta had made it out, I wouldn’t have to worry about visiting any sponsors.” Katniss squints her eyes analyzing every word, “I mean I could have played along with the whole romance act. The capitol would never split up a couple by asking favors of them.”

“Interesting.” She nods, fully taking in what you’re telling her.

“Anyway, I really want to take the victors to hear some music. I just don’t know who to ask…”

“Madge maybe. Or she would know how to find out.”

“Yeah. I don’t know her like that though.” She takes a deep breath. Hating what I was asking of her.

“Okay. Hey, I think I am going to her house tomorrow to try and learn piano. You’re probably busy, right?”

“Yeah. I wanted to hear her play again too.” Katniss chuckles at your sarcasm

“I have to make sure Prim eats. I’ll see you in a few days?”

“Sounds good.” You squeeze her hand in a thank you and she nods before heading back inside. Your stomach growls at the reminder that you haven’t eaten since this morning. You trudge back, still ashamed of your inability to handle the tiniest stressors. Your parents yelling wasn’t new, but you had never been unable to defend yourself. It was as if being in the games had made everything feel so much worse, more…intense. Made you weak. And you no longer had the energy to deal with it. Brutus was right. It wasn’t just my life anymore. Cato, Haymitch, and the others…they could all suffer because of me.

At some point your brothers ran up behind you. You must nave been moving slower than you thought.

“Did you eat yet?” You ask them

“No. You?’ Mallory replies

“Nope. Anything you guys in the mood for?”

“Anything works.” Mallory replies, Amal is quiet and you can only imagine the conversations they inserted themselves into at home. “We can make something this time.”

“I don’t mind—” you start

“I want to make something.” Amal interrupts.

“Okay.” After a few moments of silence you start again, “I’m sorry if I freaked you guys out. “

“Its fine, It wasn’t as bad this time.” Amal says, Mallory nudges him probably trying to not worry you again. It goes over his head, “What?”

You chuckle, you wish the older of the two would be as honest as Amal. It helped you remember to not take things so seriously, “Good. I’ll try and get the time down to a few minutes.”

They both smile and they begin to talk about how much they have learned from the other victors. You are glad they are enjoying the company until Mallory mentions wanting to ask Brutus about tips. Just in case he gets reaped he says. You know its likely they get called, its happened before, family members from victors who had become capitol favorites. With all the commotion you caused. You realize its likely your brothers had a high chance of going in. The upcoming quell… your brother wasn’t an idiot. Its been theorized the Capitol has rigged certain reapings, Haymitch has no one left, but you? It may not be the worst idea. And you certainly couldn’t help him. You would worry too much, in fact the conversation turns your stomach to lead. Suddenly, food held no interest to you. Still, you have to be rational. Cato’s advice saved your life, if Mallory is put in this position… Brutus might save his.

“I think Brutus might appreciate the distraction, if he won’t Cashmere will.” You keep your voice even, but your heart feels like its shattering at the thought of having to become a mentor. Playing along with the sponsors may not be such a bad idea. If it keeps Mallory out of the games. That’s what they said Finnick does, right? You would have to talk to Cato again. You knew if you told either sibling they would tell you to not go back on the original plan. Which is probably why he’s is preparing to go in. So many people willing to put themselves in harms way when you could just play along. You’re from 12, after all maybe in a few years time they would all but forget you.

When you enter your home you’re almost overwhelmed by the smells coming from the kitchen. Amal and Mallory run in ready to help. Enobaria greets them, and they continue talking. Most of it goes in one ear and out the other. You smile to greet Enobaria and Cashmere, but when you meet Cato’s eyes you know he can tell somethings up. He points his head toward the living room and you nod and sneak away. He meets you on the couch, bringing some water and a plate of fruit.

“What happened?” He asks immediately. He sits next to you, which was better because you didn’t want anyone to hear.

“Mallory. I’m so stupid, Cato. If we do this…he’s going to get reaped. I know it. I was right before, I volunteered for nothing. If I had just eaten the stupid berries before Peeta could say anything. They’d be safe. I’ve ruined everything… I—”

Cato brings you into him and you decide you don’t care if its for pity or what. You allow him to comfort you. No tears come just a general sense of hopelessness.

“We’ll figure it out,” he breaks okay and fand positions himself to look at you, “We’ll figure it out, okay? I promise.”

You nod. He tries to hand you the glass of water but your hands are shaking. He holds one hand to help you drink and when you finish puts the plate on your lap. You notice he gives you some space, and you find yourself hating it. You manage to force a few pieces of fruit down when the rest of the house comes in.

“There you two are!” Cashmere floats down and hands you another plate, you smile and try and eat as much as you can stomach. Enobaria asks about the upcoming school year, who the younger ones talk to, their favorite things to do. They both answer, and ask their own questions in return. I’m grateful for the distraction and by the end of the night you find yourself smiling, you find out Amal has been picking things up from Prim. Wants to figure out how to be a doctor, Mallory isn’t exactly sure as he thinks he will just work in the mine. Cashmere pushes and he tells them about drawing when he is bored but nothing else really coming to mind. Both of the female victors encourage them, saying that with your help anything is possible now. You encourage them too after a while, you've realized most people accept what they were born into in 12. The bright side of being a victor is you could give them a chance. A real chance. If you don’t get them killed first.

Cato helps Cashmere collect everything. You know he is likely telling her exactly what is concerning you. You hate going back and forth on this. Making things even harder. Everyone eventually disperses, you try to relax with a bath but you decide its not working and just clean up quickly. After pacing around for a bit you decide to go back down. You sit on the living room and turn on the tv, hoping something will put you to sleep.

Why isn’t it working? You’re staring at the screen for over an hour when you hear footsteps coming down. You don’t move, you know who is coming to join you.

“Cant sleep?”

“Nope.” You smile up at him, “Care to join me?”

“You don’t mind?”

“Of course not. I enjoy the company.” You wonder if you’ve been so closed off for him to still think you dislike him. Maybe he actually wants you to leave. He always seems surprised when you seem to want his company at all. Then again, you’ve been going back and forth on the plan you agreed with since the beginning, why wouldn’t he think you don’t want him around.

“What are you watching?” He asks as he sits on the seat adjacent to yours, you try not to let your face show your disappointment

“A movie from the capitol, the acting is pretty bad so its no wonder they believe whatever the tributes sell to them. Its almost done I think, do you want to pick something?” He shakes his head and you flip through until you find another movie you don’t care to watch. You tell yourself its background noise, and after a while your eye lids get heavy.

Images of the cornucopia appear, drops of water dripping onto the makeshift cave you hid in with Peeta, the snares you’d so carefully hidden in the underbrush, the buzz of the tracker jacker nests, Glimmer’s…screams…? Suddenly you’re running, you think you hear her scream for help when the swarm of tracker jackers descend upon you. You’re on the floor and Glimmer’s disfigured body is facing you, her eyes glazed over yet full of hate and blame. Her lips release a raspy voice not belonging to anyone in particular, no it wasn’t her voice… it was multiple voices. They all hiss together in a bone chilling, raspy harmony…

You…

Did…

This…

To ussss…

Your body shoots up and you’re unsure if that last scream was another part of your dream or your own voice. You violently pat your body to check for the stings of the of tracker jackers. Only when you’re sure nothing has happened do you allow yourself to check your surroundings of the room. There is still a dull murmur coming from the tv and you curse yourself for thinking it would be an easy solution to aide in your sleep. Whatever happened last night…it didn’t matter. It was a mistake. The clock is ticking…only a little past one in the morning. You look over at Cato’s chair, he isn’t faring much better. He had tried to get comfortable but his position was anything but. He is mumbling something under his breath, his eyes are squeezed tight and his hands appear to be clutching the hair by his ears, effectively covering them. If it didn’t look like he was about to crush his own skull you might have left him alone. That would be what he would tell you to do, to leave him. Well. You’ve never been the best at following directions.

You put your hand on his. The one closest to you. His body freezes, you wait a few seconds to allow him to figure out where he is and, as delicately as you can, you pull one of his hands away from his. You focus on his breathing, short and shallow. You pat the hand you’re holding when you bring a good enough distance away from his face and go into the kitchen to get him a cup of water. When you come back he still seems somewhat disoriented, aside from his hands he hasn’t moved. You push the water into his hand until he takes it. He blinks slowly, and takes a few sips. You carefully take the cup back and place it on the table, not moving from your spot on the ground.

“Did I wake you?” He asks after a few beats of silence, and you quickly shake your head

“I woke up from a dream of my own actually.” He nods and slumps to the floor next to you, you notice he begins fidgeting with the small beaded bracelet you had gotten him, and wonder if whatever he was dreaming about continues to haunt him. You can only hope he says anything to drown out that disturbing cadence of whispers echoing in your mind.

“Do you want me to keep watch again? I don’t think I want to sleep right now.” He asks quietly

And I do? The thought makes you smile but you just shake your head at his proposal, “I don’t think I can either. How bad is our schedule tomorrow?”

“They probably have more debriefing, the interview tapes have come in.”

“Great.” You scoff, “I guess we have no choice but to try and sleep again.”

Glimmers disfigured face pops back into your head and you shudder, not in any way excited to see who you’ll see when you close your eyes. Cato stands and turns the tv back on. He offers a sad smile and holds his hand out. You take it knowing full well what his plan is. The tv goes back on and you sit next to each other this time, both trying to focus to blur any remaining memories of your nightmares. The next time you succumb to your fatigue the nightmares stay away. And just like that you both silently agree to continue the process. Both finding excuses from then on to come downstairs and turn the stupid tv on. One of you always waking up before the other and sneaking back into your room to get ready before the rest of the house woke up. By Sunday, you felt rested but your neck really hurt. Katniss’s knock woke you up that day.

“Just wondering if you were still coming.” Gale stood a good distance behind her but nodded in your direction which you returned.

“I have to get ready but yeah one second.” When you close the door Cato is already awake, leaning against the wall.

“You think you’re ready?” It was an innocent question that you only wish you knew the answer to. You had met up with Katniss a few more times this week, but today felt ominous. You suddenly felt like everyone else who avoided the woods. Terrified, like you would have to keep watch for the safety of the fence line.

“I guess I’ll find out.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Are you sure?” He gave a singular nod and told you he was going to go get ready. You stood there in shock for a few seconds before rushing to do the same. You debated starting the whole romance thing now but you decide its better to not overfill your plate. You are a bit surprised Gale and Katniss say nothing when Cato comes out with you. You wonder if Katniss has caught on and whether she’s said anything to her favorite hunting partner.

The walk to the meadow is mostly silent until you offer food for everyone to eat before heading in. But that’s silent too. Everyone’s guards are up. Everyone worried about mine and Cato’s reactions. Including myself and Cato.

Gale seems to liven up in the forest, his footstep soundlessly picking up the pace. You all follow closely behind.

“Alright Y/n, easy pickings.” He points towards some wild turkey.

“I don’t know…”

“You’ve got this.” He hands you one of the bow and arrows made by Katniss’s father. You look to her for permission before even placing your hand on it. But the second you touch the weapon your hands start shaking.

“Y/n, if you’re not ready…” Cato starts but Gale interrupts suddenly agitated

“She’ll be fine. The woods are all she knows, right? She cant be scared of the one good thing about this place.” Cato doesn’t respond, you squeeze his arm and he nods. You barely have the strength to draw the arrow back and your muscles are screaming. You’re weaker than you anticipated. You take a deep breath and aim in the general direction of the bird, but the second you release the arrow the only thing you see is Marvel.

The Marvel you see staggers back, blood pouring from his mouth. You hear yourself scream and step back almost falling into a tree. Cato’s hands grab each of your arms, “NO! Please…”

“Its not real. You’re not in the games. You’re safe…” He says in your ear but his voice is shaky. You have to blink a few times before you nod. You hand the bow back to Gale.

“I’m sorry.”

“Its fine. You can try again, it will get better.” He holds out the bow but you step back

“Gale..” Katniss warns him, Cato pushes me behind him as he turns to look at her

“She just needs to get used to it.”

“She said no.” Cato says firmly

“You don’t get it. She belongs out here. You don’t. She needs to be able to come out here, even if she doesn’t hunt anymore. The games aren’t going to ruin that for her.”

They’ve already ruined it, you think. “Its going to take time. She has to see everyone again in a few months. She can decide when she’s ready.”

Gale steps forward, “Y/n, come on. We’re going to keep moving.”

“Back. off.” Cato growls but Gale keeps moving forward and you react before he figures out whats happening. Gale had pointed the bow in Cato’s direction, and its like something takes over him immediately. His entire body shifts into a position you remember in the training center. From Arioch…

“Or what?” He starts

His name comes out as a warning, to no one but yourself, “Cato…”

Time seems to slow down, this time, its you who has to let Cato know hes safe. You rush to get in front of him, grabbing for his hand reaching for the knife hidden away. A stupid decision on your part because you come from the bottom up so you feel the sting before fully realizing the blood dripping down your arm as fail to stop his arm from pulling it out from across his body. This is what he knows. You stare him down with one hand useless, and the other on his arm with the knife. You think you hear one of them pull the arrow back. Idiots. This can only make things worse. His other hand grabs the one holding onto his arm, preventing him from either throwing or hunting them down. The other arm has seeped through your shirt and is bleeding onto the ground ever so slowly, like the ticking of a clock.

Drip

“Put the weapons down!” You yell at everyone. Scaring off any prey they were hoping of catching. Cato looks furious but he blinks at you as if he is trying to figure out what part of his games you’re form.

Drip. Drip.

“Katniss, Gale. Go.”

“Y/n…”

“But—”

“Now!” You can hear the footstep receding. You’re sure they wont be going far so you have to make this quick. His grip on your arm tightens and you struggle not to cry out. But you had to make sure he thinks of little of his games as possible. Right?

Drip…

“You said we were allies. We aren’t done here.” More blinking. When this is over you’ll have to remember to thank him for giving you the answer to this very problem. You avoid saying anything about the actual games. “We’re safe. You’re safe.”

His eyes squeeze shut as he tries to slow his fast and heavy breathing. The hand with the knife going up his head, pressing against it. He forcefully lets go, and you let out a squeak of surprise as you fall onto the ground. Both arms have gone up to his head, trying to silence voices you will never hear. You stay on the ground so as to not disturb him, hoping he comes back to you on his own. Whatever he tries to block out elicits a small groan of his own as he falls on his knees. His hands never leaving the sides of his head as he continues to try and quiet the nightmares I forced him to see by coming out here. You place a shaky hand on his shoulder, and his body stiffens. His head slowly looks up at yours.

“You’re okay.” You whisper, as if speaking loudly would ruin any progress, “Everything's okay.”

His head scans the area and when he looks back you his eyes widen again, his breathing quickening. “Oh my god.”

You don’t have to follow his eyes to know what hes looking at, “I’m fine. It was my fault.”

His hands turn your forearm to face him, really the scratch wasn’t very deep. Long maybe, but really it would heal quickly. The bleeding had mostly stopped anyway. He lifts the t-shirt sleeve up to where your cut is completely exposed. Cinna probably had some kind of scar cream, you weren’t worried about it. Cato shakily grabs the bag you had set down when you had tried to shoot the arrow, fumbling until he finds what hes looking for. A small red box. You realize it’s a first aid kit, he grabs the water bottle you’d brought as well and begins pouring water on your wound. Your arm twitches when the water first contacts you and Cato winces.

“Sorry.” He mumbles not making eye contact

“Its fine Cato, really.”

“Its not.” He says sternly. He places a type of pad on your arm and begins bandaging. You only try to speak when he’s almost finished

“Cato. This wasn’t your fault. I grabbed the knife wrong. This is on me.”

“Y/n. Stop.”

“No. You cant even look at me. This is not your faul—”

“I shouldn’t have come out here. I knew I wasn’t ready.”

“I wasn—”

“You were right. This is a mistake.” He begins to stand up again

“Cato, wait—” You scramble to catch up to him, but before your arm even reaches out he snaps at you

“No Y/n. This should have never happened. I could have killed you! We will stick to public appearances, the rest of the time you need to stay away from me.”

For some reason this infuriates you. “What are you talking about? No. You said we would do this together. You cant back out now.”

He turns around just as furious, “You’ve been backing out almost every day! Why does it matter if I do it??”

A valid point. You weren’t sure why you were fighting so hard for him to not back out but it suddenly sounded unacceptable. Especially not out of guilt, “Beca—”

“I told you I was dangerous! I told you to use the sedative if you needed to. How could you not bring it??? Do you not understand how easily I could have killed you? Do you know what that would have don—Do you think I could live with myself?” He takes a deep breath, trying to lower his voice. It was the loudest you had ever heard him, certainly. Guilt gnawing at you for not realizing how all of this could have undone any progress, how he could have been punished.. all because you couldn’t shoot a damn arrow. Anger also fights for the dominant spot in your mind, you were the one who just de-escalated everything. Your silence seems to soften him and you know it's only because he's once again, sure he's terrified you.

“Look. Just—Make sure you start bringing the sedative. I’m serious. For your own sake—”

He lets out an exasperated sigh of disbelief as you hold your palm out. The sedative pen still capped facing him.

Cato’s POV

She had it this entire time? Why didn’t she use it? Did she forget? How could she forget? You stood there staring as she held her hand out. Unsure of what to do , what to say. You had just screamed at the person who stopped you from hurting anyone. Who had hurt herself in order to give you the chance to stop. Who had somehow managed to distract you enough to realize you were slipping back into your games. You couldn’t face her as you bandaged her arm, and now you felt like you couldn’t stop staring, trying to figure out why she wouldn’t immediately use that on you.

It was her turn to be angry, but instead of saying anything she grabbed your hand and forced the pen into it before heading back home.

You could only stand there for a minute before you chased after her. You caught up relatively soon, “Y/n?”

When she says nothing. You decide to keep your mouth shut. The walk back is tense she lets the door almost close on you and you aren’t surprised to hear the door slam. You’re thankful no one seems to be home. You know her brothers are at her parents, and Enobaria and Cashmere said they wanted to talk to Haymitch about the public appearances they want to start up. You decide to go over there just to let them know you’re both back.

“So, how’d it go?”

“Could’ve gone better.” Is all you say as you walk back out. The rest of your day is you hiding in your room. You go out to make yourself a quick lunch. You’re pretty sure Y/n hasn’t come down so you leave a plate of food at her door and knock before running back down to your room. You pace, read, lay down, repeat. You only come out when Enobaria calls you down to eat again. You ask if Y/n has said anything to her but Enobaria says she was worn out from trying all of that today. You wonder if the cut on her arm came up.

“Cato. Is everything okay?” She crosses her arms as she watches you eat. You take one more bite and toss your fork down. You needed today to be over. You can overthink by yourself.

“Yeah. Everything’s great.” You grab your plate and toss everything in the trash. Something people here probably wouldn’t be very fond of but its beyond you to care right now. You can feel Enobaria looking at you but she doesn’t follow. You go into your room and turn the lights off so hopefully, everyone assumes you’re asleep and leaves you alone. You cant sleep. In fact, you know you wont be able to sleep since the only decent sleep you’ve gotten in over a year has been with y/n when you pretend to watch the tv. Really, its probably your brain telling you that you two are watching each other’s backs, but it doesn’t matter. You doubt you could trust anyone else like that.

You replay today’s events for the millionth time. She must have been terrified. And then on top of everything you go and yell at her. She could have yelled back but the only time she even sounded slightly annoyed was when you said doing the whole romance thing may not be a good idea. Isn’t that what she wanted? Was it the way I said it? You hold the pillow over your head for a few minutes before throwing it to the floor out in annoyance. Just fall asleep. Fall asleep. You tell yourself you deserve any nightmares that come to you but sleep refuses to make an appearance. Probably because you were ridden with guilt and disgust. You decided to go apologize. You went down the hall where Y/n’s room was hidden away, you hear Cashmere and Enobaria talking in the distant kitchen. As you raise your arm to knock, the door swings open.

The two of you are stand once again, motionless. With nothing in her hands, you wonder if she had an idea similar to yours. You open your mouth to start apologizing but she shakes her head and steps out of your way. Allowing for you to enter her room. You tell yourself you’ll apologize properly and then leave her alone. She probably just wants to keep todays events hidden, better to curb any more fears about this plan’s already fragile state. When she quietly closes the door behind you try to speak before she once again cuts off your apology by wrapping her arms around you. You freeze, waiting for your living nightmares to resurface but when they don’t come, you return the embrace. A warmth radiating deep in the cold recesses of your heart.

“I’m sorry.” She says softly

You immediately step back, “No. That’s what I should be saying. I was the one who wanted to go, I was the one who hurt you, I was the one that yelled. I’m…I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. I knew I wasn’t ready.” You bring her towards you again and try not to notice the smell of her hair, still somewhat damp from a fresh bath.

“Can I check?” She sighs but holds her arm out. You feel relief upon realizing how shallow the cut was. You quickly leave her room for more supplies and sneak back as quietly as possible. You both sit on her bed and you begin. You work carefully. Quietly. She says nothing until you put the healing ointment over the scratch.

“I told you it wasn’t that bad.” She tries to joke but you’re struggling to understand why had to put herself in this position in the first place.

“Why didn’t you use it?”

“I didn’t need to.”

“Y/n…”

“You know when I blew up all of the supplies in the cornucopia and everyone ran back…Arioch was so mad he snapped the boy from three’s neck. It was less than a second and Elias was dead. On the ground. You could have done the same the second I grabbed the knife. You stopped yourself. I didn’t have to do anything.”

“I could have still killed you, before all of that.”

“I guess.”

“You cant guess Y/n.”

“Honestly if you really thought you were in the games and you thought the three of us were working together you would have either gone for the person most dangerous to you, which wasn’t me and would have given me time to use it. Or you would have used me as a bargaining tool, and I still would have been able to use it. So, drop it.” Her voice gets short and you decide to listen, trying to not get into your head again. She sighs and lowers her tone, still grumbling at the thought of it.

“I shouldn’t have hid behind you and I should have told Gale off myself. I would have had a better chance at either grabbing the knife or deescalating the situation.”

You cant help yourself. The thought of her putting the blame on herself is ludicrous and you cant accept it, “I shouldn’t have gone at all.”

“I wanted you to come. I would have asked you to anyway.” She says it so softly you aren’t sure you heard her right. You don’t say anything more as you finish rebandaging her. “I’m tired.”

You tell yourself you promised you would leave her alone so you just nod and say “Okay.”

You shift to stand up and leave but she grabs your wrist, “Can you stay?”

“Okay.” You find yourself unable to say anything else at the moment. You down move from your seat on her bed as she lays down. Your throat suddenly feels very dry. You feel as if you’re breaking some kind of rule from the agreement you both had made, which is ridiculous since you had been accidentally sleeping together when you would watch tv. It was just easier to fall asleep that way. You try going over possible interview questions in your head but absentmindedly fidget with the bracelet which gets her attention. She leans over enough to place her hand on your back causing you to jump.

“You should get some sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you plan on keeping your knife under the pillows?” You shake your head and she smiles, “Then yeah, as long as your comfortable with it.”

She scoots over and you lay next to her. Neither of you fall asleep right away and you try and see if she wants to talk about what happened before she stepped in front of you. “Can I ask you something?”

She turns to her side to face you, you try and resist the urge to get closer and just turn your head to her direction staying on your back. “What is it?”

“What did you see?”

She goes unnaturally still, you want to tell her to forget about it but she decides to answer, “Marvel.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She turns onto her back and looks up as she recounts her time in the games, “You saw the games. I missed.”

“I thought you hit him.”

“I did. But I waited too long and I ended hitting a lung…I was so mad. I was going to watch him suffer for the net. For throwing his spear. He told me to finish. To kill him. When I pulled the knife out I held onto his hand as I plunged my knife into him. I felt his hand go limp in mine. I see his death all the time. Then I run away. In every dream I run, and it doesn’t matter what direction I run I always end up seeing Rue. Struggling to breathe. I didn’t even know she was hit right away.”

“Y/n you couldn’t have saved her.”

“If I hadn’t hesitated I would have. She would have won. I would have made sure of it.” You don’t like what she’s implying but you say nothing, knowing theres more to be said, “Almost everyone else’s death I see like I was watching the games from home. But Marvel and Rue…and Glimmer sometimes. They don’t ever go away. It also sucks because I saw Thresh die the same way everyone else did and I feel bad he doesn't bother me as much.”

She doesn’t turn to face you but you can see tears beginning to form so you reach out and grab her hand. She returns the gesture, intertwining her hand in yours. She finally turns to look at you, but she is too tired to even try and pretend its okay. It isn’t. And it doesn’t get better. But its only fair you tell her your side of things too.

“I see everyone. Whether I killed them or not. I see myself killing them, not being able to stop. Then I hear them. Their families. Calling me a monster. I try to say I cant stop but I can never speak.”

She squeezes your hand. You have others, sometimes its all of the training methods you had in 2. Others are when you are begging to call your family so you can go home, then the voices from the games merge into those too. You turn to face her and she lets go of your hand to turn. She begins to get close. Too close. Shes above you, resting on her elbow you feel her other hand reach up. A finger traces your brow, her thumb gently wiping a tear you weren’t aware had spilled.

“You aren’t a monster. Okay?”

You cant help yourself. You don’t let her let go of your face. You don’t want to let her go at all. So you don’t. With your free arm you bring her as close as you can and hold her. Tired of pretending you weren’t constantly craving her presence. Her touch. You only let go of her hand to put your own in her hair as you pulled her into you. She doesn’t protest. She continues to lean in eventually letting her lips rest on yours ever so gently. Her lips were soft and warm. You could feel them slightly part as she let out a slight gasp. It was as easy as breathing. When you both pull away, you feel like its too soon. You know that you are only entangling yourself into a potentially dangerous situation with the capitol. You had something to lose now. As she stared at you with the same realization you realized you didn’t care. You had something to lose, yes, but you also finally had something to lose. You didn’t want her to worry, you just brought her into you again. Letting her head rest on your chest. Knowing sleep would come easily. You run your hand up and her back and you feel her thumb going back and forth on your chest. Her hand stops moving first, you aren’t sure when your eyes close. All you know is for the first time you feel at peace, nothing gnawing at the back of your mind. No dreading about waking up and doing it all over again.

When you do wake up its anything but peaceful. You both hear the urgent knocking and sit up immediately. You both share a look and you move to the other end of the bed. Pretending you were simply keeping watch.

“Come in.” Y/n says groggily

“What is he doing here? What are you doing here?? What happened to your arm?” Enobaria sounded confused. Furious.

“I still couldn’t sleep. So, I asked him to keep watch and alternate with me. But I fell asleep on my turn.” Y/n, you’ve noticed is only exceptional at lying when it involves someone else. “Sorry. I thought I was getting better?”

“And your arm?” Unfortunately for the two of you, Enobaria was not in way easy to convince. She crossed her arms as asked about Y/n’s injury.

“I got it when we went hunting yesterday. I freaked out and I was fumbling to grab my knife to protect myself. Cato bandaged me up and came to make sure it was healing okay last night. I asked him to stay. I was too embarrassed to say anything so I said I was tired and hid in here all day.”

“And why didn’t you mention this accident?” She starts asking you

You shrugged and tried to seem indifferent, “She asked me not to.”

“Y/n you need to at least get one more person to change shifts, its—” you see that shes struggling to find the words, but theres no real way around it, “its not safe. The flashbacks they don’t always show up in the most convenient times.”

Your head drops, and you can feel Y/n stare. You want to disagree with her but Enobaria is right. One nightmare and you could wake up in a place where Y/n isn’t Y/n at all. Just another person you cant unsee in the games.

“I trust him.”

She says it so easily, you want to believe her. Believe that you would never do anything to her. But you already had. “Y/n its better to be safe than sorry.”

“I trust him. Which is a good thing because at the end of this whole thing we’re going to have to end up together right? So does it matter if we help eachother out?”

Enobaria sighed, “Come on, we have a busy day.”

She leaves the room quickly. No doubt going to talk to Cashmere. You lift your head to look at Y/n, “Don’t.” She says

“Y/n. Shes not wron—”

“I said don’t.”

“I need a favor.”

“Cato…”

You take out the syringe and hold it out. “Please. Just to be safe. For me.”

The last line makes her flinch. She lets out an exasperated sigh and snatches the pen out of your hand. “I’m not going to use it.”

She leaves her room before you have a chance to respond. The words, ‘I know,’ stuck on your lips. You follow behind her and meet up in the kitchen with Enobaria and Cashmere. Enobaria still looks upset but Cashmere has a knowing grin on her face you desperately want to ignore. She slides you and Y/n a plate of food.

“Well before we do anything today, Y/n I suggest you go see your cousin. She came by to check on you already. I’m assuming since yesterday didn’t go so great?” Enobaria states

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Cato? You’re practicing interview questions with Brutus.”

“Why him?” You immediately protest

“Because he is going to pinpoint everything you need to work on and this needs to go perfectly.” There was no point in arguing with either of them. Especially when Enobaria was already on the verge on sending you over to Haymitch’s house.

“What about you guys?”

“Oh Haymitch is going to show us around a bit more.” Cashmere says, you and Y/n share a look. They’re planning something and you two are not to know about it. You both eat in silence until Y/n finishes and is promptly shooed out of the house. You mainly push the food around your plate. Avoiding the stares that felt like were burning holes into your body.

“Its good you two are comfortable with each other. It’s going to make things easier.” Cashmere starts

“Its also going to make things more difficult.” Enobaria grumbled, “This whole charade still might not work. You need to be careful. You both just got out of the games. You still technically need to be supervised.”

“The more believable the more the capitol will want them to get married and pick a district. Regardless of what they feel, they need to make the Capitol obsessed with them in a matter of two weeks for the victory tour. We can worry about the rest later.”

You stood up, not able to take anymore second guesses. You were already doing that yourself. “We just took shifts keeping watch. That’s it.”

You knew they were right but the thought of showing affection toward y/n like that when you still weren’t sure what you felt made you feel…gross. Like you would be forcing her to do things she wasn’t sure of, or didn’t want. This, of course, only worries you about last night. About whether she meant to kiss you, whether you did. Whether she wanted to, or did so out of pity.

You evaluate every action, dissect every movement until Brutus comes in. Working with him is almost unbearable and nearly impossible to get into camera mode. He refuses to make it easy. He starts by quizzing you on everything you and her wrote down, any hesitation would result in breaking character and yelling. You maintain at best a casual conversation, which gave you hope on how things would go with Caesar if it came to that. And you needed it to come to that.

“I still think this is a mistake.”

“I know.”

“You’re sure?”

More than anything, actually. “Yes.”

Brutus rolls his eyes and grunts in what you assume is disgust, but he continues with the questions. Y/n comes back with her brothers behind her and interrupts, “Its my turn, Cato.”

“I don’t have anything to ask you.” He dismisses her but Y/n doesn’t budge

“They asked you to question him because you would be the harshest judge. Its my turn.” She turns to you and asks if you can talk to her brothers, and simply nod and follow them into the kitchen. You hear her tell him he needs to really try so neither of them waste eachother’s time and you’re tempted to hang back and hear how it all plays out.

“So what happened yesterday?”

“Hm?” Mallory’s voice snaps you back and you wonder exactly how much shes told them. You only remember her demand to keep them out of it. “In the woods?”

“Yeah. How bad?”

“Not…great. She was doing okay until she tried to shoot an arrow. Then she remembered her games and was thrown off.”

“So, she did hurt herself trying to get the knife?”

“Yeah she thought she needed to grab it quickly and ended up fumbling it before she actually got a good grip on it.”

“Probably good you were there. She trusts you.” Amal pipes in. Guilt hits you like a train again. Mallory just nods but you’re sure he has more questions about what is happening around here. Around their sister. How were you all supposed to help her? How could he help her? Questions you can never answer. You ask more about the hob. Wondering if you could go there alone. Mallory doesn’t recommend it, most people in twelve even stray from trading there. Y/n comes in silently, sitting next to Amal. It was another obvious clue as to exactly how long she had survived in the woods. Her tread was soundless. Had she decided to simply outlive the others in the arena, you’re sure she could have done so.

“How did the interviews go?”

She shrugged, “I didn’t get much feedback. I’ll ask Enobaria later.”

Everyone decides to cook some food up for the two houses. Its seems like a simple breakfast food dish, but the smell that it creates makes you almost salivate. The others fill in as you all finish up. Mallory even has alcohol ready for Haymitch. He actually makes friendly conversation. They have fully accepted each other as family in one sense or another. You stop paying attention when you begin to eat. The voices all intermingle and you drown most of it out. Or you try to. Usually so many people around ends up making you nervous.

Brutus elbows you, forcing you to refocus. You only return his glare but listen to Cashmere as she calls out your name again, “You okay, Cato?”

“Sorry.” You mumble. “What did you say again?”

“Well, I’ve been tired of being cooped up here so I thought it might be nice to go out. I hear the music is completely different here. I was thinking Friday maybe? It would be nice for all of us to go. What do you think?”

Sounds miserable, but you know she’s beginning your public appearances. “Sure. Would be nice to get out of the house, see a different side to 12.”

Y/n smirks, “Tsk. Well, it wont be all that fancy but it is a fun time.”

“You’ve gone before?” You ask

“A few times. I did have some friends outside of my cousin.”

“Yeah, she used to sneak out to go dancing.” Mallory teases

She rolls her eyes, “I only went out a few times. Enjoying the little times I saw anyone that wasn’t strictly business. Besides, all of my old school mates treat me like I have the plague now. It could be good to try and show I havent changed all that much.”

Except she had, no one contradicts her but even she knows it. It was ridiculous of course, to think she only contained herself to the woods. She wasn’t forced to train for the games. But the thought of her missing her old life springs to your mind again. You listen to her stories. The music that is supposed to be banned plays on random days. No one trusts anyone with association with the capitol here, you wonder how she ended up getting the information. You think of your time at the hob. How everyone seemed to know one another. You wondered if she forced herself to buy things there just to gain their trust back. You thought about Darius and how he had kissed her, and you actively have to work to keep the scowl off of your face. You wondered if some of peacekeepers took shifts so as to not get anyone in any real trouble.

The rest of the day is a blur. Plans, conversations, nothing seems to stick out in your mind. You’re relieved when everyone disperses. And even more so when Y/n whispers for you to go to her whenever you can. You wait until you’re sure everyone has at least gone to their rooms before going to find her. You barely knock, terrified of being ordered to go sleep elsewhere.

“So what happened today?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. You seem upset.”

“More worried.”

“Because of what Enobaria said this morning?”

“Mostly. This just…it doesn’t end you know? We’ll have to keep this up forever.”

“I know. Whatever happens we will need to prove to the Capitol we’re together. Could you do that? For that long?”

“Could you?”

“Yes.” You realize you were terrified of any other answer. You decide this cannot keep happening, the same conversation, the same worries making you doubt your plan. You can worry another day. You lay down next to her, ask her to get closer. You decide you wont try anything again. Not until you’re in front of the cameras. Just in case. But keeping eachother company you would allow. If only for your own sanity.

The days go on and Friday is upon you quickly. Y/n’s brothers go on ahead, making sure the music wouldn’t stop because of you and the rest of the victors presence. The group watches as the people dance around you. A few peacekeepers get visibly nervous but slowly let loose as well. Y/n makes small talk with some people around her, offering whatever money she has on her to several of the people who work at the hob. Some stands are still open and you find yourself buying a bracelet similar to yours. You rejoin the group for awhile, Y/n dances with her brothers once, and once with Darius. You try not to let that one bother you, especially since he asks several people to dance with him. She gets all of you to try the faster paced dance movements, Cashmere does exceptionally well. You... do not. You all sit and enjoy other people dancing when Cashmere nods to you. Now or never, you brace yourself as you lean over to whisper in Y/n’s ear.

‘I think its time.’ She smiles and nods and the two of you walk to the farther end of where people are sitting. Close enough plenty of eyes would be on you and far away enough it looks like you both want to speak privately. You take a deep breath, there's no going back now.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Taglist: @chloe-skywalker @ietss @tomihoeka @chiimiki @akinatrix @inky-sun @themedsaintworkin @tiktoks-aphrodite @fredweasleysgirl16 @callsign-haze @thestrals-and-firewiskey @dreamsarenicer

#hunger games fic #hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #tbosbas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #cato hunger games #hunger games cato #cato imagine #cato x reader

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rory-butnot-gilmore · 1 year

Text

Little Moments in Time

You and Sarah make dinner for Joel and Tommy before you leave for a business trip. The world then falls apart, and you find yourself separated from your family. 20 years later, a weird twist of events leads you back to the man you loved.

Pairing: joel x fem!reader

themes/warning: oh yeah, there is angst this time, death and violence, pain and sadness, with a little bit of fluff if you squint <3 also, there are some parts that i tried really hard to do extra research on so it wasn't like completely off trail from the canon storyline, but I couldn't find much.

part one

september 24th, 2003

You and Sarah both danced around the kitchen, while you made barbecue chicken and rice. It was supposed to be spaghetti night, but after your recent trip to the doctors and finding out you had celiac disease, gluten free options started to be incorporated. Joel and Sarah definitely didn't mind though, because both of them thought the things you cooked instead were great. Joel didn't even notice some of the differences in the things you made sometimes.

"So, what is it you're doing again? On your trip?" Sarah asked as she grabbed down a can of corn from the cabinet. You looked at it and made a mental note to make sure Joel went shopping for groceries.

"So now that I am an actual nurse, I am going to Chicago to help out with some younger college students somethings I know about nursing," You explained to Sarah, who smiled and nodded. She loved your job, and was always so curious about the things with it. Joel teased that Sarah would follow in your footsteps.

"When you get back, we are going shopping for my maid of honor dress right?" Sarah poured the corn into a small pot.

"Yes we are, are you excited?" You nudged her with your elbow, and she giggled before nodding.

Things had been official between both you and Joel since the week after your second date. You went everywhere with him and Sarah by then, all of her soccer games, every school recital, and every moment. By the fourth year of dating, you gave up the apartment life and moved in with them. Then last year, Joel finally proposed after dragging his feet for so long. You didn't mind the delay though, because life for the two of you already seemed so perfect.

"Oh damn it smells great in here!" Tommy exclaimed as he came through the door, he grinned at the two of you when he came into the kitchen.

"Hey, how was work?" You turned off the stove, and grabbed the plates that Sarah had already gotten down. Joel came in behind Tommy, and gave Sarah a quick kiss on the head. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, as you made Sarah a plate.

“It was shit, don’t let Tommy tell you any different, the bastard didn’t tell me how anyone the guys we have to work with are this time,” Joel laughed, “The plans are coming along though, and we should be able to start on it within the next day or two,”

“Well hopefully your string of good luck continues babe,” You kissed his cheek, and handed him Sarah’s plate, “Tommy you can come make a plate,”

“Thanks Y/n, you know I still don’t understand why Joel got to end up with you?” Tommy made his eight year old joke. Joel flipped him off and made his plate and made a plate for you.

“Hm, I mean if I remember correctly, you were too busy making out with one of my best friends?” Sarah laughed, covering her mouth to stop the water she had just drank from spraying out. She started coughing a little, but she was still laughing at your comeback.

“How is my dear old friend doing?” Tommy came behind Joel and grabbed his plate to start making it. You grabbed three beers out of the refrigerator for the Miller brothers, and yourself. Everyone sat down at the table together, and started talking about your days. Sarah talked about a test she passed. Tommy told an embarrassing story about Joel from the day. Joel squeezed your hand while you talked about your flight leaving in the morning. Tommy headed out a little bit after you cleaned up from dinner. You helped Sarah get her curls into a style that would help keep them from getting ruined during the night. Once she was all set, you and Joel started your night time routine.

Once you thought Joel was done with the shower, you climbed in. You sighed happily as the water rinsed over your skin. Before your hair was even completely wet, Joel climbed back into the shower. You rolled your eyes but turned to look at him. Joel was unapologetically looking you up and down, and pulled you against him.

“I figured I could rinse the grime off of me before I ambushed you,” Joel shrugged, and explained his reasoning for not just suggesting a shower together in the first place.

“Joel Miller, are you trying to seduce me before marriage?” You teased, and he shook his head.

“Mm, no, no I don’t think I would ever do such a thing?” Joel started to kiss your jaw and neck, his hands resting on your lower back, fingers just barely tracing the top of the curve of your ass.

“Sarah isn’t asleep yet, so this is holding off for right now,” You played with the hair at the nape of his neck, not really wanting the touches to stop. Joel groaned but still pulled back, smoothing your now wet hair down and out of your face.

“I don’t know how her or I are going to do without you for a whole five days?” Joel whispered, and kissed your forehead, “Sar’s cooking lessons better have been paying off, if she’s going to be cooking for me on my birthday,”

“She will do phenomenal, she wants to make you pancakes, I know you’re super stressed with work, but I left you a grocery list so you can make sure you make her dreams come true,”

“Isn’t it supposed to be my dreams coming true? It’s my birthday?” You glared at him, and started washing your hair. Joel swatted your hands away and helped you scrub the shampoo into your scalp.

“I’ll get the pancake mix, we will call you while eating our pancakes, you can sing me happy birthday while I do,” Joel teased, and helped get your hair rinsed out. You leaned your head back and he kissed your neck gently.

“Then when I get home, her and I go to pick out her dress, pick up my dress, and then we will be two weeks out from me marrying you, old man,” You wrapped your arms around him, and pecked his lips, “Cold feet?”

“I’m about to be thirty-six years old, and I’m marrying the most beautiful, smart, and loving woman I have ever met,” Joel’s voice was softer now, “The same woman who loves that awesome daughter of mine, plus she’s a bit younger than me so that totally boosts my ego,”

You raised an eyebrow and he laughed a little.

“My feet are as hot as they could be Y/n.”

september 25th, 2003

Joel drove you and Sarah to the airport in your car. Sarah teared up more the closer you got to the security. You were quick to pull her into a tight hug.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay, it’s only five days and I will be home,” You whispered, trying your hardest to fight back your own tears, “You can call me each day too, I won’t mind, I have my cell,”

“I love you mom.” Sarah blurted it out so fast, that both you and Joel were taken aback by it. You didn’t hesitate for too long though before you were holding her even tighter. Joel pulled both of you into a group hug, and everyone said their I love you’s. No one said goodbye, just reminders that you would be home soon. That this was only a temporary thing.

You didn’t let yourself fully cry until you were on the plane, and you cried until you landed. Sarah called you mom, for the first time in eight years, she called you mom. It made your heart swell ten times the size it already was. Sarah held such a special place in your heart, that was never a doubt. There was a certain kind of satisfaction knowing that you held the same spot in hers.

You got off the plane and took the cab to the hotel, that was where you first met the next person who would change the course of your life for the next twenty-years. She was twenty-four years old, and with her best friend. The two of them were laughing in the lobby of the hotel, but hers was the loudest. She was going to be your mentee during the trip, but in the end she was so much more.

“Oh!” She finally saw your name tag, and waved you down, “You’re Y/n! I’m Anna, I guess you’re in charge of me for this whole thing huh?”

“Anna, it’s great to meet you,” You shook her hand and then her friend’s.

“I’m Marlene, not here for the nursing stuff, just this annoying person right here.” Marlene nudged Anna, who had no problem nudging back.

Marlene went on her own adventure, while you and Anna went to the first activity. It was in the local hospital, and the senior nurses explained how the next five days would be. Anna was a jokester, and you knew that she was going to cause a bit of trouble. Still though, she was fun to be around. The first day went by really quick just with her jokes alone.

That night after a bar outing with Marlene, you and Anna were in your hotel room together. She was sitting in the chair that was to your desk, with her feet propped up on the bed you were sitting on. The two of you were talking about anything and everything. Just bonding over whatever you could find.

“Okay, so you’re only thirty, you’re about to be married and a step-mom?” Anna laughed, and you nodded with a grin on your face.

“You know, I don’t like the step part of it, but I do like the sound of mom,” You smiled, thinking about Sarah, “Joel, my fiancé, does nothing but tell me about how I saved them, but in reality they saved me more than they know,”

“I can’t even imagine where I will be in six years, at thirty, but it definitely doesn’t feel like I would be a mother.”

september 26th, 2003

You, Anna, and Marlene were all in your hotel room. The emergency broadcast was going off, and you were all watching everything unfold. When your cellphone started to ring, you answered it before the second ring went off. It was Sarah, and she was asking if you knew what was happening.

“I woke up and Dad isn’t here, and-” Sarah screamed a little, and the line went dead. Your entire body started to shake.

“Sarah?! Sarah, baby! Sarah!” You were yelling into the phone, hoping that her voice would come through the dial tone. You never got to hear her voice again though.

The next three days, were more torture than you could even imagine. The three of you were all escorted out of the hotel by military eventually, and made your way to a safe zone. It didn’t feel safe though, none of it did. You put Sarah, Joel, and Tommy on a name list. So that it could be broadcasted soon enough. Eventually you were all within a QZ. You waited everyday for any sign of the Millers, hoping they would eventually show up. It didn’t take long before you all started to catch onto the bullshit that was FEDRA, and that was when the Fireflies became a part of your life.

2009

You found the safe house, Marlene should have been there already. Then you heard the screams, and you ran around to the backside of the house. You went through the back door, and busted into a bedroom. Anna was on the floor, a baby with an umbilical cord still attached laying in front of her, and an infected dead off to the side. Anna was breathing heavy, and the baby was crying.

“You k-know how I said I couldn’t see my self being a mother at thirty?” Anna was breathing heavily as you rushed closer, she cut the umbilical cord with her own knife and started to tie it off, “Looks like I was wrong, but also right,”

She bent her leg out, and you saw the bite on her inner thigh. Your entire heart stopped and you dropped down to your knees. Anna was shaking a bit, but she picked up her baby anyways. The tiny infant calmed down looking at her mother.

“Anna, what are we going to do? I mean Marlene should be here soon, but was the baby? I mean?” You were stumbling over all your words. The girl who had become your family was dying, and there was nothing you could do.

“You are going to take Ellie, wait for Marlene downstairs, and I am going to ask you one last favor Y/n,” Anna whispered, “Make sure she’s loved, make sure she’s safe, and please kill me before I hurt you,”

“No, no, I’ll take her soon, I’ll go downstairs, but I can’t.. Marlene will be here soon, she needs to get to say goodbye Anna, and you h-have a little time, spend these last minutes with your daughter,” You sat against the wall next to Anna, watching her with the baby. She glared at you for a moment, before giving up and looking at Ellie.

“She’s so damn beautiful Y/n, and I will.. I will never get to see what she becomes,” Anna whispered, “If anyone asks, y-you know I cut the umbilical cord before I was bit? They would never let her live other wise,”

“If they ask, I was here the entire time.” You whispered, and laid your head on her shoulder.

2023

Every part of you wanted to kill Marlene, for dragging you back to Boston. After you knew Ellie was safe, you decided to set out and try and find whatever you could about the Millers. Any kind of sign of what happened to them. Now, fourteen years later you were back at your original QZ. After they ran their tests, and you lied and explained you were coming from the fallen QZ in Chicago, they let you inside. You showed up at the building Marlene had explained to you over the radio, and made your way inside. You quietly snuck your way in, your gun ready to shoot at any sign of trouble.

You slowly went up the stairs, and then heard a loud thud. When you made it to the top, you saw Marlene holding her side, with another woman standing next to her. There was a man and a woman with their backs turned to you, and a younger girl on the floor.. A girl who looked almost identical to her mother.

“Get your gun out of her face.” You snapped, and the man turned around. Then your entire heart fell down into your stomach even more than it was seeing Ellie.

He was standing there, and he was alive. Marlene was watching the both of you, waiting for the blow up. His eyes though, they stayed on you, and then trailed to the chain around your neck. Hanging off of it was a simple diamond ring, that he remembered clear as day picking out with his daughter. He looked older, seemed different, but yet you felt like home was standing only a few feet in front of you. You lowered your gun and glanced at Ellie, who was staring at you like she knew exactly who you were. In reality, she might have, she did have a picture of you that you slipped in with her stuff when you left her at the military school. It was your picture name tag from the convention you met her mom at.

“Y/n?” Ellie and Joel said your name at the same exact time, and for a moment it sounded like the world stood still.

next part

#joel and sarah #the last of us #joel miller #reader insert #prompts #pedro pascal #oneshots #joel miller x reader #joel x y/n #the last of us actually wants to kill me #the last of us hbo #ellie williams

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celaenaeiln · 9 months

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I always love how heros only kill if there really is no other options. Even then, their deeply disturbed or torn up about it. Killing is easy. But seeing a criminal as a person at the end of the day is much harder. It takes an unfathomable amount of strength to keep this going. It won't always work and it's not easy. But there's a difference between right and easy.

Oh me too!!

Anon you have no idea how much I’ve thought about this over the past five years and come to the same conclusion every time.

There are two reasons why I like that heroes only kill as an extreme necessity.

The first is what you said. It's extremely difficult to be able to control yourself in the face of repulsiveness. Some I do believe are irredeemable but many characters are not worth killing. Because there's a lot that goes into killing. It's not just about moral ethics for me, it's also about how that impacts society. I don't know if you've seen the show "The Boys", but it's about heroes who kill. Originally they kill criminals but at some point their anger and frustration bleeds over and they start killing innocents. The repercussions on society were massive. There was a significant loss of trust and hatred and fear going on. Ordinary people like the main character and the rebel side were dragged into a world and fighting that perpetuated fear and bloodshed until everything became irreversible. It's a terrifying world I would absolutely not want to live in. In the previously posted comic Batman says:

He's not saying this lightly. In a world where killing criminals is done and seen as common place by the people, what's stopping the people from following their hero's actions? Nothing is ever contained on the internet and nothing is ever done in moderation. It's like watching your favorite superhero blast a bad guy's head off on TV and turning around to seeing your mom blast your dad's head off with a gun over an argument about going to the movies. The violence is commonplace, after all. It takes an incredible amount of willpower, far more than anyone gives credit for, to look at someone who hurt you and walk away.

The canon version of this argument and why Bruce should never kill the Joker is proved in the comic, "The Batman Who Laughs." I was terrified for Damian when he encountered that universe.

The second reason I love the no-killing rule- and it's a little more twisted- is because I love self-control.

Not just as a person who tries to practice it in their life but there’s just something so exciting about a character who fights with control.

Having someone run free is super fun to read but having someone who never breaks the line, edge so dangerously close to it, but never kill? Oh the feeling is delicious. You're left pondering-what is it? What will it take? What will cause you to break?

Ironic. I know. But you can't tell me you were never curious about their limits.

Aside from that excitement, I love how the villains are reusable. They may be your worst enemy on a tuesday but on a thursday they're dragging your broken body out of a ditch to go fight the bad guy who got on their nerves.

It's like the idiom- better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Sometimes, no matter how horrible their actions were in the past, they're keeping a larger threat at bay. For example Blockbuster and Heartless. Bane, William Cobb, Lex Luthor, Freeze, Black Manta, and Sinestro in Forever Evil. The Riddler. And when Bruce was dead/lost in time the Joker was straight up like "damn bro I'm so sad I think I'm gonna turn good" which actually sort of saved all of Gotham from that bat cult that nearly killed them. Sort of. He bailed halfway but props to him for the first half.

Also the villains in the comics are terrible people but they're good characters. Like these characters are so well-developed. You'll hate them but you'll never fully hate them because they're funny and mean and deep down, you'll never admit it but they have a small teeny, tiny point.

A couple of my favorite villain scenes:

The Riddler (Batman #699)

Joker (Batman and Robin #22)

Joker

Victor Zsaz in his undies swearing revenge on another villain. Damian and Dick in the photo

Dick bashing up Slade in Damian's body

Damian, Harvey, and Dick

#self-control is much harder than killing #just because you can doesn't mean you should #because you can't control the consequences or yourself #dc villains #dick grayson #the riddler #edward nygma #the joker #damian wayne #robin #harvey dent #two face #victor zsasz #dickbats #bruce wayne #batman #cl anon asks

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mischiefmaker615 · 9 months

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Hehehehehehe here is an idea that has been floating around in my mind:

Loki is king and his queen is Sigyn, they are pretty good friends but Loki feels no real love for her. They only married out of necessity or smth. It turns out sigyn can’t have children so Loki kidnaps a normal midgardian that looks “similar” to sigyn and plans to breed her to have his heirs.

Although Loki feels no real love to Sigyn, he feels bad for it and thus feels bad for the intense attraction he has towards the reader. He explains the situation to her and since Loki is so hot she is fine with him breeding her (not that she’d have a choice lol). This goes on for a week or so until she gets pregnant.

Reader inevitably falls in love with loki despite everything but feels sad for not being able to keep or help raise the baby. Little to her knowledge, however, is the fact that Loki has been falling for her as well. Maybe there can be a scene where the reader has been having some pregnancy blues and breaks down in front of Loki bc he hasn’t been there enough for her; he feels bad and spends the rest of the pregnancy comforting and coddling her.

For the end after the birth, Loki decides to screw the monarchy and end his unhappy marriage with Sigyn and get with the reader instead.

I understand if you don’t want to write this because it’s super lengthy and specific! No worries and have a great night <3

Bloodline

Rating: R with dark theme! Note: honestly i placed this in two parts and even then i wished it could be longer than a one shot XD only cause its such a heavy plot idea and a lot of ground to cover Lol hope it works for ya though ♥

The sound of pounding boots echoed through the palace halls of Asgard, indicating those in sight to stay out of the way and to not interfere, no matter how important the matter is. Loki’s cape flowed behind him while his helmet rested just above his brow, looking like every inch of power he had while holding the title as king. Yet what could have possibly upset him when he had exactly what he wanted? War? No.

His Wife.

Sigyn has yet again successfully pissed him off and he hated that it wasn’t even her fault. Per-say..

Honestly he would always love her, but his love for her had changed many centuries ago and so for him, unlike for her, he was fond of her as if he had fondness for a close friend. Any piece of affection she tried giving him, he would reciprocate but with an empty heart.

Its gone on for to long and every day he feels like he’s been lying to her, but leaving was not an option. They married for the thrown and Asgard required a queen, for heirs. So they’ve been trying. Trying for no damn reason.

It was clear that she was unable to bear children.

His heart mourned and hardened at the same time, hating he couldn’t provide her, nor his people the bloodline he was required to give. Until the idea sparked in his mind that very moment their latest argument ended.

He would merely find a mortal that resembled his wife and breed her. Their children would look similar as if Sigyn herself bared them and his people would never know the difference.

Mortals were disposable creatures anyway.

Finally reaching his own quarters- his old one anyway until he had to partake in the shared one, he made sure all doors and any openings were sealed with magic. No one would be able to enter or exit unless it would be through him.

his eyes flashed green before he raised his palm and a small mirror appeared before him, but no reflection appeared, just merely darkness.

‘’find me one. One who resembles my goddess, one who is able to bear an heir..’’ he mumbled before the mirror began to shimmer before producing a moving image of a woman who walked the halls of a Midgardian work building of some sort, but that didn’t matter. Loki’s focus was awe stuck at how close in resemblance she was to his wife, and fairly beautiful in her own way. Not bad, for a mortal.

‘’she’ll do.’’ He stated before the mirror grew to his size, stretching to full length before he took a deep breath and stepped through.

‘’fucking let me go!’’

Loki yanked her through the mirror, the mortal stumbling through by his grip strength, still in her short sleep wear- a reminder of where and when he took her, before he released her wrist, the mirror vanishing to prevent escape.

‘’let me intro-‘’

‘’I know exactly who you fucking are, Loki’’ she snapped, the fire in her spirit and eyes already making him like her more and more as she rubbed her wrist. ‘’news flash, you don’t kidnap people in their damn sleep. now return me right-‘’

‘’unfortunately your return will be impossible darling, your assistance is needed here.’’ he sighed, as if he had no choice in the matter as he used his magic to have his armor and cape vanish.

‘’what- I don’t even have any powers.. I’m useless to you-‘’ she stammered, aware of the temperature here and covered herself with her arms.

‘’in battle, yes. But Asgard needs a bloodline continued.’’ He explained, rotating his shoulders and neck as he spoke, his casual state spooking her more as if he was preparing for a fight.

‘’b-bloodline?”

‘’my wife cannot bear children, that has been confirmed. You resemble her likeness almost perfectly, my people will have no question on the child’s features.’’

Her body was shaking as she slowly took steps away from him, Loki not having to advance because the room was secure no matter where she went. ‘’you.. you cant do this- mortals don’t even live that long compared to you-‘’

‘’magic does not make immortality impossible, and will come quite in handy for you as well.’’

The more he spoke, the more her eyes looked on in horror as she breathing picked up, mind racing for excuses. ‘’-so you’ll just fucking show up with a baby??’’

‘’I will merely tell her I found the child and we will adopt. We will keep the information of the child not being blood to ourselves, so he or she shall not feel like they do not truly belong.’’

‘’like what fucking happened to you-‘’ she snapped and so did Loki.

Almost an invisible force had her on her back on the bed, keeping her there. A stream of cuss words began leaving her mouth before he raised his palm again and a silk, green tie wrapped itself to gag her, making her thrash her head to try to free herself while he strolled toward her.

‘’I truly understand your position darling, I really do and I deeply apologize. But aren’t you mortals- or at least those heroes of yours represented the greater good? Helping those who need it or something like that.. think that you will be helping a greater cause.’’ He explained, as if it would help as he got to the edge of the bed but didn’t make a move to free himself yet, to her surprise.

She glared at him, only able to move her head as her muscles tensed, feeling his fingertips move up her legs before gripping her night shorts, his fingers hooking onto her panties as well before pulling them down, causing her to try to fight again.

‘’I know mortals are very delicate things so I don’t wish to break you so soon love. I will do my upmost best to go slow and to make you fit me. Getting you wet would benefit the both of us as well,’’

he explained, his voice gentle as if genuinely trying to care for her and already felt himself hard by the sight of her. Her spirit is what merely attracted him to her first and it was amazing he didn’t take her in her own bed first but here it was much safer for the both of them.

Her legs were shaking, as of the rest of her beautiful body and half of him wanting to say screw the bloodline, but he fought to hard to gain the thrown just to lose it now because his wife wouldn’t get fertile. So with that, he moved forward and laid between her legs, her struggles against his magic doing nothing as he ran his tongue against her cunt.

This made her freeze, her back arch as if her body froze- not knowing what to do. Ignoring her reactions, he focused on his goal as he began to eat her out, his tongue and lips paying close attention to her clit while he now and again tongue fucked her.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her body and mind screaming to different things but she was no match for his skills. He was by far, amazing, and her body thought so to as she held back tears with muffled whimpers, feeling herself get turned on.

Loki held back a slight smirk as he noticed it to but kept going, feeling her legs try to close themselves but he remained between as his hands gently caressed her hips and thighs. When her back began to arch more, he stopped.

This was merely a job, a duty, nothing more. If it was strictly based off pleasure alone, there was a higher chance of either of them getting attached, and a woman’s pleasure was the one thing that Loki loved to give.

Catching her breath, she looked with scared and glassy eyes as Loki crawled up her body and moved his hips between her legs. From her muffled cries, he knew she was pleading but he refused to try to let her stop him, even if seeing her like this made his heart skip slightly.

‘for Asgard’ is what he kept reminding himself and moved his eyes to her chest instead, refusing to look into her eyes any longer as he moved a hand down and freed himself. He’d have to move extremely slow as of to not injure her in the slightest, which is what made foreplay important if she didn’t get pregnant the first time, he’d have to repeat this action.

Her muscles strained against his magical hold, feeling him line up at her entrance and she only struggled more upon guessing how big he was by the mere feeling of his tip. She tried telling herself this all wasn’t real, how the hottest man she ever saw wasn’t the one who attacked New York, her people, who kidnapped her and now attempted to take advantage of her all to create another one of him..

There was no use. His magic was strong and there was no getting out. She could only pray that the child would come out not as cruel as the father as she closed her eyes and tried picturing herself with someone who actually loved her. When she relaxed her muscles, she tried forcing herself to not tense as Loki then began to push himself, inch by inch with a small pause between to try to help her adjust.

She was not a virgin, but he was by far the biggest she had ever seen and had. It hurt, and the foreplay did help, to her slight relief and sadness over the whole thing. She was stretched and the tears allowed themselves to far as her cries came with each time he pushed through. It was almost forever until he stopped moving and she knew he was to his hilt. Baring to look in his eyes, his own were closed while he panted, straining himself from rutting her wild. She hated to admit that despite it all, he was.. beautiful. Caring, even, if this was their first time together and not in a fucked up reality.

Her thoughts were interrupted when he took a deep breath and pulled out to the tip, before slowly moving back in without a pause this time. she gasped, her eyes lifting as her back arched, feeling the stretch again as she took deep breaths. At this point, all she could try to focus on was her breathing while he pulled back and moved forward, slow and steady.

She hated how slowly her body was adjusting to him, how more and more she got slick for him. her own body was betraying her and she wished that it hated him but at the same time, her adjustment was making the pain slowly go away and get replaced with pleasure.

Loki knew her body was adjusting and he began to increase his movement to a faster rhythm, his face contorting to pleasure as his lips parted and his fists gripped the sheets on either side of her. It was strictly a job.. but for a mortal.. she felt.. so.. good… he lost himself- and he fucked her fast, even gripping her leg up against his waist as he panted.

She gripped the sheets, her eyes fluttering as he seemed to stuff her and all she could do was take it. she swore she could almost seem him enlarge her pelvis every time he thrusted into her before it was suddenly- over. Her eyes snapped open as he moaned and felt warm liquid shoot into her cunt in large amounts. His limbs were shaking and he rested his forehead against her chest as he panted, slowing his thrusts to make sure she took all of him before he stilled inside her.

Even she was to exhausted to move- if she could as her limbs shook and felt him soften inside of her but he still made no moves. Not until both their bodies seemed to regulate themselves back to normal before he took a deep breath and slowly slid out of her, feeling his seed slightly trickle down between her legs as he put himself away and stood up. With a slight flash of his eyes, he released his hold on her, tie removed from her mouth as she took careful breaths but made no moves.

Watching her from where he stood, he took a breath and spoke slowly. ‘’I’m sorry little mortal… you will be brought three meals a day and will remain in these quarts. Drapes may be open but my spell prevents any means of escape of any sort. I will be delivering these meals myself and anything you might need. Every day I will fuck you and every day I shall check to see if we have created a child.’’

Through magic, she guessed.

‘’I have my ways of keeping an eye on you so please do not attempt anything stupid. Fight me, and magic will be involved in restraining you. I suggest you rest, I shall return in the morning.’’ He told her, his voice quiet but almost as expressionless as his face as he did not once look in her eyes as she had turned her face to the side to look at him while he had made his way to the door.

It wasn’t until the door was shut was when she then allowed herself to cry.

The past few days carried on like this, how he would show up to deliver meals and leave without a word or a glance at her before he would shortly return to have her stand. Most times he would have to use magic to have her cooperate, keeping her in place as he placed a hand on her tummy with closed eyes and used simple magic to seek out life. With every result coming out negative, he would fuck her.

Never giving her her own pleasure, he told himself he wouldn’t enjoy it either out of the equal rights of them both. Thus, he would fuck, not as so much as touch anywhere else before he would leave her stuffed and alone.

Days became weeks and fear turned to anger, cussing at him and throwing things upon him entering the room and she even tried starving herself. The fear of being under complete mind control by him to force her to comply is what made her cooperate, convincing herself she had at least that in control of herself.

It was pushing a month and that’s when she noticed her period was not on her mental schedule. Fear and relief flooded over her, unsure whether he would let her go if he finally got what he wanted.. it was only a matter of time before he would check her.

Loki came in, not saying a word as he shut the door behind him and strolled towards her before she raised a hand to stop him, causing him to throw an annoyed look but he raised a hand to begin using his magic but he paused.

‘’wait- I’m.. I think I’m..’’ she trailed off, almost afraid to even say the words out loud as his expression changed to almost a.. lightened mood.

‘’well.. we won’t know until we check.’’ He said quietly, the first words he had spoken to her in awhile as he lowered his palm and walked slowly to her. ‘’will you try to strike me today or do you think you can control yourself?’’

She ignored the annoyed feeling by his comment and shook her head. ‘’..i will not strike you.’’ She promised and sat on the bed behind her, resting back on her elbows.

Loki strolled towards her, confident that it wasn’t a lie considering what he was the god of. Standing before her, he leaned down and rested a hand beside her on the bed while the other rested on her stomach while he closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated while she stayed perfectly still.

While he used his magic, she couldn’t help but look at his face- call it her own little routine while his eyes were closed. He was.. beautiful. Cruel and beautiful. Damn him.. damn it all..

what was this feeling.. he was the only one who even gave her attention, as fucked up as it was to admit. She had no friends, no family, no lover.. which is probably why she gave up on being rescued a long time ago. If it wasn’t for his cruel intentions, she could stare of his face a little while longer if only he stayed.

Once Loki opened his eyes, he stayed leaning towards her, not moving as his features seemed to hold a gentleness to them, his eyes soft as well as his eyes. His stare almost made her nervous at the result and she glanced down at her tummy as if something else was wrong as she sat up.

‘’am.. am i-‘’

Loki then leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, her body freezing from the shocked reaction that overfilled her while he closed his eyes and moaned against her mouth. Before she could even register what was happening, he pulled away and stood with a blank expression once more yet his voice sounded more.. kind.

‘’you are pregnant.’’

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him, a hand immediately resting on her tummy as her lips parted, awe struck as emotions swarmed her, not knowing if she was happy, sad, if she were to cry to rejoice and.. rejoice what? ‘’i.. I am?’’

‘’yes.’’ He said gently and straightened, looking at her with almost an intense expression, she had no choice but to pay attention. ‘’with each meal you will be served, I will be giving you.. think of it as a.. potion. it will help the child grow healthy, for your body to adjust normally and for there to be no pain while you carry an Asgardian.’’ He explained and she slowly nodded, both hands on her tummy now as if she was protecting the child already.

‘’..okay..’’

Loki gave a small nod and turned, walking towards the door before he felt a grip on his cape, causing a brow to raise as he turned to see her eyes darting to the floor, her lip quivering as she slowly released him.

‘’..stay..’’

Part 2

#loki x reader smut #loki god of mischief #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki #loki smut #loki fanfic #lokifluff

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years

Text

Don't Hurt Yourself Part 3

AN: Andddd we're back! Whew, somebody deserves to get their ass whooped.

Synopsis: After realizing what a big mistake he made, Jack tries to do everything in his power to keep his sanity, save his family, and be the husband you deserve. Only problem is will you actually forgive him?

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first so you know why we want to kill Jackman!

The next few weeks had been a blur for you.

You were still trying to come to terms with what Jack did along with your ex-best friend and as much as you tried to wrack your brain on how things could have gone so wrong so quickly, you just hadn’t be able to come up with the answer as to why that was.

Jack was trying his best.

You can admit that.

He never missed a doctor’s appointment.

He checked in on you daily to make sure that everything was okay with you and the baby.

However, he didn’t know that you had been contemplating actually moving forward with a divorce.

You had been through enough stress during the first half of your pregnancy and now you had been diagnosed with pre-eclampsia so you had to take it easy for the sake of you and the baby.

However, you didn’t know if it was your instincts or what, but you felt as if Jack was hiding something else from you. You just couldn’t quite put your finger on to what it was, but you damn sure were going to find out.

That’s where Bianca came in.

“How you feeling today, mamas?”

You had now been put on strict bedrest so Bianca and your sister Vanessa would have to carry out any plans that you had,

“I’m okay. Tired of being in the bed though.”

“And, we don’t want you to go into labor prematurely and right now this is the safest option.” You simply rolled your eyes.

“Well, if it wasn’t for my stupid husband and ex-best friend I wouldn’t have high blood pressure.”

“Um, babe. Those cheese fries you ordered yesterday definitely didn’t help either.”

“Not my fault. That’s what the baby wanted.”

“Totally your fault for giving them to her. She’s going to be addicted. I don’t think I’ve seen you eat anything with nutritional value for your entire pregnancy.”

“Yes I have! Besides, the cheese has calcium in it.”

“Babe, I wouldn’t even call that real cheese. Stop trying to convince yourself.”

“Fine, can you bring me some cherries if we have any?”

“Sure, now that I can do. And no more ordering food and sneaking downstairs to answer the door. Your footsteps aren’t as soft as they used to be.”

“Are you calling me fat, Bianca?”

“No, I’m calling you pregnant now I’ll be back with some HEALTHY snacks for you along with some water.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

When Bianca walked out the room, your phone went off indicating a text from Jack.

Hubby- Baby, I need to be honest with you about something

You- Jackman, please. I don’t know if I can take anymore. What did you do this time?

Hubby- I literally cannot keep this from you and I think Melanie may be pregnant. HOWEVER, it’s not mine. I know for a fact it’s not mine.

You- WHAT

All you could see was red. You knew he was hiding something else from you.

You- JACKMAN THOMAS

Hubby-Babe, I swear I used a condom every single time

You- Every single time? How many times was it?

Hubby- Uh, that’s not important right now.

You- I’m literally going to kill you. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? JUST WHEN I’M ATTEMPTING TO WANT TO FORGIVE YOU AND MOVE PAST THIS SHIT, YOUR DUMBASS HAS TO GO AND GET ANOTHER BITCH PREGNANT?

Hubby- I know it’s not mine if she is but I have a feeling that she’s lying.

You- Jackman, me and your daughter are about to take a nap. And you better PRAY and pray hard that you aren’t served with divorce papers tomorrow morning. GOOD FUCKING NIGHT.

You had to get your breathing under control and think about this logically.

What motive did she have for lying and saying that she was pregnant?

Simple. She wanted Jack for herself.

At this point, if she really was, she could have him because you were 1000% done with his ass.

However, you loved him and deep down you knew he still loved you despite the current situation.

Bianca had made her way back into your bedroom and saw the look on your face and was immediately concerned.

“Oh no, what happened now?” She asked as she set the snack tray down in front of you and handed you a few bottles of water.

It took you a minute to compose yourself to answer Bianca and when you did, there was nothing but a look of disbelief on her face.

“Melanie might be pregnant and it might be Jack’s.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“I wish I was.”

---

After Jack had seen that last message from you, he was now in a panic.

There is no way that he could see himself getting a divorce from you.

You were his soul mate.

His soul mate that he cheated on and betrayed, but still his soul mate nonetheless.

Deep down something was telling him that Melanie was lying.

If this was a ploy for him to leave you and ultimately be in a relationship with her, she definitely had another thing coming. There was no way in the world he was about to do that.

You were a 10, and Melanie was a 6 and that’s on a good day.

He then sent a text to Urban explaining the situation.

Urban- That is utter bullshit. She has to be lying. I mean she has reason to. She wants you for herself.

Jack- I told Y/N about it and of course if she wanted to fight me before, she wants to kill me now

Urban- You have dug a hole so deep for yourself. I don’t know how you’re going to get out of this one without her divorcing you.

Jack- We don’t speak the D word

Urban- Then what do you honestly plan on doing?

Jack- I don’t know, but I need to figure it out and soon.

Urban- As your best friend, I honestly cannot fucking believe you did this shit to Y/N. Like she is everything you always wanted and more.

Jack- I know I fucked up. I just pray I can fix this before it’s too late.

Urban- It might already be too late.

After you had awoken from your nap, you grabbed your phone to see that you had multiple messages from many different people.

You decided to answer Urban first.

Urban- Mamas, just checking on you. I’m not making any excuses for my best friend, he was dead wrong for what he did, but he’s trying to be better for you, but I understand if you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.

You- Thanks for checking on me. I’m alright. And as far as your best friend goes? If the bitch is pregnant I’m definitely divorcing him. Me and my daughter are going to be fine. I won’t keep them from each other, but if that is the case, what we have is officially OVER.

That hurt like hell for you to say, but it needed to be done.

You were a strong woman who does not take disrespect from anyone. Especially if those people happen to be your husband or soon to be ex-husband in this case and your best friend.

Meanwhile, Melanie was on a mission.

She was plotting to get Jack to divorce you in order to be with her.

Her plans were falling into place.

You practically hating Jack’s guts.

Threatening him with a divorce.

And oh, pretending that she was pregnant in order to get a rise out of him.

People probably thought she was batshit crazy at this point, but she didn’t care.

Jack should have married her, not you.

She admits you’re the entire package, a true catch.

But, why did everyone always look past her as if she wasn’t there.

You always got everything you wanted.

You had met Jack, dated for literally six months and was married all within that time frame.

But, she bided her time and specifically began to make her move when you would be the most vulnerable.

While you were pregnant.

Jack had came to her over concerns over you and since you were her best friend he thought that it was a good reason to come to her for advice.

Oh, how wrong he was.

That conversation ended up with them fucking in the backseat of his jeep.

That’s when she knew she got him and got him good.

She admits that she didn’t realize that you had caught on to what she was doing and definitely did not anticipate having her plan blow up in her face.

But, at this point, may the best woman win.

And that’s what Melanie had planned on doing.

---

It had been a few days since Jack had dropped that bombshell on you and you still didn’t know how to feel.

You decided that if you wanted the truth, that you had to go to the source.

Bottom line is, you were convinced that you would have to beat Melanie’s ass for thinking she could infiltrate your marriage and get away with it.

Pregnant or not, that bitch had something coming to her one way or another.

You calmly lifted the comforter off of you and slid on your shoes while grabbing your keys from the nightstand.

You were going to confront her once and for all.

You were able to calmly sneak out of the house since Bianca had fallen asleep on the couch and Vanessa was nowhere to be found so you were in the clear.

The drive to Melanie’s house was a short one and before you knew it, you were standing outside of her door knocking on it.

She opened it and was startled to see you staring back at her.

“Oh, um hi Y/N.”

“Let me in so we can talk.”

She simply stepped to the side to let you in.

“Did you want to sit down?”

“Nope, this isn’t going to take long.”

“Um, okay.”

“Just wanted to see if it was true.”

“If what was true?”

“Don’t play stupid with me. Are you pregnant or not?”

“Oh, so he told you?”

“Melanie, you have five seconds to tell me the truth.”

“Or, what? What are you going to do, huh?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out. And let me reassure you that you definitely do NOT want to find out.”

Just then there was a knock on the door and Melanie went to open it to reveal your husband or soon to be ex-husband, you didn’t really know at the moment.

“Y/N?”

“Well, well, well look who it is. Someone better start talking before I kill both of you.”

“It’s not what it looks like babe I swear! And aren’t you supposed to be on bedrest?”

“Hmm, I think I’ve heard that one before and stop changing the subject.”

“I’m here for one reason and one reason only.”

“And what would that be Jackman?”

“We’re about to find out if she’s really telling the truth. I bought three pregnancy tests for her to take in front of me.”

“Hmm, that actually isn’t a bad idea. That has to be the most intelligent thought that you’ve come up with since I’ve been pregnant, Jack. Go on Melanie. I mean you have no reason to be nervous. I mean if you aren’t lying that is.”

“I don’t have to prove anything to either of you.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong baby. You have been nothing but a thorn in my side since we were 21. I tried to look past it, I truly did but I’m not doing this shit anymore. Take the test. If it’s negative, it’ll show me you are just the lying ass bitch that I knew you were from the beginning and I don’t care if I’m pregnant. I’m kicking your ass for trying to break up my marriage.”

Just then your phone went off indicating that you had a text from Bianca.

Bianca- Y/N!!!! Where are you?!

You- Had to take care of something. Be back soon.

Bianca- You are supposed to be on bedrest! Get back home, NOW.

You- Won’t be too much longer.

Bianca- Where are you?

You- Melanie’s.

Bianca- Y/N!

You calmly put your phone back in your pocket and Melanie was starting to look nervous.

“Take the test, and stop stalling.”

Melanie was looking everywhere to try and avoid your glare.

“I don’t have to. I’m not.” She quietly said and you rolled your eyes.

“You’re not what? You want to run that one by me again? Speak up. You didn’t have a problem speaking on how you had my husband’s dick in your mouth so say it with your chest.”

“Was that last part really necessary?”

“Not now, Jackman and you have some nerve for even saying anything. Now, Melanie, I’m waiting.”

“I’m not pregnant. So there is no need for me to take it.”

“So, you basically did all this shit for no reason?” Jack asked with a look of disbelief on his face.

You and Jack exchanged a look not really buying it for one second.

That’s what Melanie was now known for.

Being a liar and being a manipulator.

“Take the test.” Jack calmly said as he passed her the bag.

“I.. I don’t have to. I can’t have kids. I’m infertile. Look I was jealous, okay? You always got everything you ever wanted and it wasn’t fair for me to just sit on the sidelines. Look, I... I’m sorry.” Melanie confessed as her eyes started to water.

All you could see was red.

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Next thing you knew, Jack was trying to pull you off of Melanie.

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anyasathenaeum · 1 year

Note

How would Vash and Wolfwood (separate) help and accommodate a partner who has a restrictive diet and can't eat a variety of certain foods? btw ur doing amazing so far keep it up.

A/N: Thank you so much, Anon! That's very sweet of you! I hope this is along the lines of what you were hoping for!

Vash the Stampede

Vash would be the type of partner who would try to make it easier for you at any cost

Literally, ANY cost

Man would 110% follow the diet you have to follow because he can only imagine how difficult it is for you to watch other people eating foods you can't have and how sucky it can be sometimes :(

So, Vash would be the kind of partner who would follow your diet with you to a T (as much as he is able to and with as much strictness as you do)

He would also be supportive of you on the days where you find yourself missing specific foods, trying his best to offer you comfort and support however you need it in the moment

"Just let me know what I can do to make this easier for you, love! I'm here for you, I promise. What you're doing is hard but you're doing so well, I'm so proud of you!"

Would definitely try to find new recipes for you

Absolutely gets involved in making the restrictions feel less like restrictions and tries to bring variety in as much as possible

Overall, extremely supportive and tries to put himself in the same situation as what you're going through so he can be understanding and so that he can support you and make it easier for you however he can!

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Wolfwood takes a different approach - he's not entirely sure why you have to be so restrictive, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try to at least make your situation easier for you

He more so tries to keep other people in check and ensure they don't accidentally rub things they can eat and their options in your face and make you feel bad about what you need to do with respect to your food

He tries to be supportive although sometimes he comes across a little too hardcore about it, especially towards others

You definitely need to keep Nicholas in check so he doesn't tear other people to shreds in trying to make your restrictive diet easier

"Nick, I get that you're trying to be helpful but you don't need to threaten people with bullets every time they eat something I can't have in front of me."

"No, (Y/N), they're being rude and I'm gonna keep em in check, can't have you feeling bad about this all because of other idiots."

"Nick, please."

Overall, he's trying very hard to be supportive of you, and the best way he shows it is by ensuring he keeps others in check, sometimes even a little too much, but it's entirely from a good place, I promise

He just really wants to you to have things be as easy as possible.

#anya's athenaeum #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun stampede x reader #trigun x reader #vash the stampede #vash the stampede x reader #vash x reader #nicholas d wolfwood #wolfwood #wolfwood x reader

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thedo0zyslider · 2 months

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I Love You (I'm Not Supposed Too) - Chapter Five: Swampy Vacation - 7k Words

Fwhip embarks on a journey to the Codlands, courtesy of Grimlands Count. Safe to say he is less than pleased with the idea

A03 Link

Several weeks later, after dozens and dozens of tense days in the house, Fwhip finds himself being shipped off to the Codlands for two weeks. His father says it was a planned trip, so he could learn about their culture and what not. The ginger doesn't quite believe that.

Fwhip is pretty sure it’s because of the fight he and his sister had. And because Gem was scheduled to visit the day after he left too, which is pretty convenient timing if you ask him. He's almost grateful that their parents seem to be keeping them separate, because he's still feeling miserable about the whole thing. And he doesn't want that to lead into another fight again, then he really wouldn't know what to do with himself.

He knows his fight with Gem isn’t over that one bad day. It’s god knows how many years worth of problems all exploding at once, because they suck at emotional stuff. And they're family is a big old mess too. One so full of issues that it makes him wanna bang his head into a wall half the damn time.

He hasn’t seen Gem since she left for the Cliffs, right after their fight, which was over half a month ago at this point. Fwhip hasn’t messaged her on the new communicators they were gifted with either. Just another thing on the problem pile now, he supposed. Even if he didn't want it to be. The ginger isn’t really upset that his sister hasn’t spoken to him though, for he’s still pretty upset at her. She had called his one and only joy in this life dumb and stupid after all.

Fwhip is upset at himself too. The future Count knows he was being an asshole with most, if not all. of his comments, even if some were the truth. Yet at the same time he had no idea what to do, or how to talk to Gem about it. How do you even recover from a fight like that, really? They’d both called each other's greatest passions stupid .

He thinks about all of this, and arrives at the Codlands a lot grumpier than he expected to be. Part of the young Count wants to go back home, but he knows Gem is probably there. And the rest of him doesn’t want to confront that whole ordeal just yet, so maybe being in the dumb smelly swamp empire for a week or so would be bearable; if his other option was that much worse. Maybe .

Jimmy greets him as soon as he, and the guards his father had annoyingly sent, arrive. There is a fake smile plastered across his face, and when everyone turns their back he gives Fwhip the naistest glare the cod could probably muster. The half dragon returns it with a glare of his own, and feels his tail angrily thump against the ground. Well then, this is going to be a splendid trip, since the Cod Emperor’s greeting was oh-so friendly .

Fwhip and his guards are giving a small tour, the teeangers keeping a good distance between them and the rest of the group. The tour was uncomfortable for both of them it seemed, as Jimmy awkwardly pointed out and described most of the buildings in the empire; even with the Grimlands guards giving him death glares the whole time. Fwhip tried to pay attention, since he would be living there for the next few days or so, but found it was rather hard too. The people they passed were giving the half dragon some nasty stares, stares he couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tired. He drew his wings even closer to his body as they walked, shifting uncomfortably with nearly every step. The cod beside him waved to someone else, then raised an eyebrow at the half dragon’s suffering. The dickhead.

“Not used to getting stared at like an animal, are you?” Jimmy mutters to him, having leaned in a bit to do so. They are much too close for the young Count’s liking right now, able to feel the blonde’s breath falling on his skin..

“No.” Fwhip mutters back, shifting just an inch in the other direction. Personal space and all, especially when he was being ogled like he was some creature . “I’m not.”

“Now you know what my life feels like.” Jimmy responded, waving to someone he knew as they continued to make their way through the small town.

Fwhip avoided everyone's gazes still, and tried to fold his wings closer to his back. “Do you deal with this everyday?” He asked, not missing how the few cod he did catch a glimpse of looked at him. It was…..a look he wasn't used to, that's for certain.

“Yeah.” The cod answered after a moment, his response strained. Again, Fwhip had to wonder once again what went on in that damn ocean. “For a lot of reasons, yeah.”

The ginger doesn't respond, just holds back a sigh, and accepts the fact that he will be subjected to some….rather nasty looks. But if complains to Jimmy the cod will complain about his treatment in the Grimlands, so he just keeps his mouth shut and suffers in silence. Sometimes doing that is better anyways.

Fwhip follows Jimmy around in mostly silence, only giving the occasional word here and there. Partly because a good bit of the codfolk's conversations are in codlish, a language he cannot even try to understand right now. But he learns a little from what he can gather, about the people's religion, the sea gods they worship and their cultural festivities related to it.

He learns about recipes and their foods he will never remember fully, the style of dress in the empire, how they farm and use the land's natural resources for most things, everything . He also learns a lot of little details too, like how Jimmy will have to wear this head once they appoint him as the Codfather, and how he won’t be able to take it off in public ever again after that. Jimmy mumbled something part way through, about how his mother had instructed him to be so detailed in the tour, because normally he wouldn't care so much. And well, he's doing a damn good job at it, out of fear or otherwise. He makes it a little interesting, at least.

Their little tour is eventually interrupted by some commotion in the docks, and the two young royals have to rush off once they hear the sounds of yelling. Thankfully no one got truly hurt, other than a few bruises maybe, but one if the castle merfolk and two codfolk had gotten into a pretty heated engagement. Apparently one of them had said some nasty comment about the other species, and it had escalated from there.

Jimmy tells him it's the fourth incident like that today, and noon has only just passed.

Not even twenty minutes later, they have to stop an argument between one of the Grimlands guards accompanying Fwhip, and another codfolk Jimmy had been talking to prior. It was his guard who had started it, and while the future Count didn't necessarily disagree with their comments, it would not be good for any of them if a fight broke out. So he decides they're done with guards, actually, and pulls the one with him off to the side.

“Sir,” The guard protested, surely unhappy about losing their post. “I can't just leave you here alone in an enemy empire!”

“First off, we're not technically enemies right now.” Fwhip hisses, shoving them off to wherever the other two or so Grimlands guards had been ordered to stay. “And do you think these people are gonna attack an emperor's kid? They're not that dumb.”

The guard mutters something under their breath in response, something about him sympathizing with the fish folk, and reluctantly walks away. They know when to walk away and follow orders, but not when to shut their mouth, it seems. The half dragon glares at the back of the retreating guard, and has to stop himself from stomping back like a child might. To say the comment got under his skin would be an understatement.

Fwhip exchanges a glance with Jimmy when he walks back over, and sees the same troubling look reflected on the young cod’s face. It seems the two of them are on the same page then, about why they are here and what they are being taught.

They are both starting to understand the need for the marriage. Fwhip still doesn't like it, he never will, but he can at least understand why it's happening. And that is exactly why they were brought here, to see and understand their duties to the people. The duties they both do not want, yet have no say in. The duties their parents do not want to do, so now it's both of their jobs.

There's a sinking pit of despair opening up in Fwhip's gut as he realizes it, and sees the same feeling reflected in Jimmy’s eyes as well. And the feeling is persistent, it won't go away. It's the feeling that will define every thought of the future after today.

“Pix!” Jimmy exclaims, sounding all happy and relieved. He nearly runs over towards the other, his tail basically wagging with happiness behind him as he moves. Like a puppies tail would.

“Pix?” Fwhip parrots, confused, yet he follows the young cod regardless. Don't get him wrong, he's very happy to see the new Pixandrian King, it's been a while since their last meeting, he's just unsure of why exactly he's here.

“Hello you two!” The Copper King says, reaching out to ruffle both of the boy's hair when they're in range. Jimmy laughs, and lets him, already well used to such affection from the man in the few times they have spoken. Fwhip lets his hair be ruined as well, but not without many confused noises.

“I'm happy to see you but, why are you here!?” He asks, barely caring how messy his curls are now. Even if his hair was rather annoying to keep tidy. Again, he's very excited to see his friend, he just doesn't know why he is seeing him!

“He visits sometimes!” Jimmy explains, cheery. And then he leaned in closer to Fwhip, to add on quietly. Like no one was supposed to hear this, in case something bad came of it. Like Jimmy was treading some ground he wasn't supposed to around the cod and all the royal advisors hanging about. “And mum isn't giving me any help making an empire, so Pix made it his job instead.”

“Oh, okay.” The ginger mumbled, somewhat surprised at the information. He knew the Ocean Queen wasn't....a great parent, but he hadn't been expecting her to just throw her son info leadership like that. Jimmy, on the other hand, seemed unphased by it, like this stuff was normal, and happily turned his head back towards their older friend.

“The Queen actually requested my presence, and said she wanted me to be here today specifically.” Pix said, also seeming very nonchalant about the whole neglectful parent thing. Fwhip wondered how out of the loop he was, and if Lizzie was either involved or okay with all this. Or if she even knew it was happening.

Jimmy looked puzzled, like his mother didn't request Pix's presence a lot. Like he just showed up of his own accord, out of the kindness of his own heart. “Why?”

“I don't know.” Pix shrugged, a small smile forming on his lips. “Maybe she thinks I'll keep you both in line?” Both of the boys giggled at that suggestion, and exchanged a knowing glance. No one in the world could stop them arguing, or being individual little troublemakers. You'd either have to separate them or lock them each in an all white room to achieve such a feat.

Not even two minutes later, like they had summoned the Devil herself, the Ocean Queen arrives. She has guards of her own trailing her as she approaches them. Fwhip is surprised when he sees her, but his two companions are not. Jimmy seems to be trying to control his facial expression, probably from scowling or something; while Pixl plasters one of those fake, polite little smiles across his lips.

“Hello, your majesty.” Pix says, with a polite dip of his head. He sounds a lot less friendly than he did on him and the Queens last meeting a few months ago, that's for sure. The Copper King has undoubtedly learned some information recently, information about what really goes on behind closed doors in the Ocean Empire. It's nothing good, either.

“Pixlriffs, good to see you.” The Queen says, stiff as ever. In the few times Fwhip has met her, he doesn't think she's ever been relaxed. Or casual. Or just generally not nerve wracking to be around. “How has everything been going?”

“It's been going well. Your son has quite the knack for this stuff, you know.” Pix hums, casting a fond glance over his shoulder at Jimmy. The young cod does not beam up at him like one would expect him to, his face being neutral and controlled instead. Like he would be punished if he didn't. That uneasy feeling Fwhio has about the Ocean Queen is growing every second, honestly.

The Queen flicks her gaze towards her soon for a moment, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. Jimmy’s expression doesn’t shift and inch. “Does he now…”

“Yes, especially once you let him learn what he needs to.” Pix's tone appears casual on the surface, but there is an undertone of accusation. Of weeks old frustration and annoyance with his fellow royal. It looks like the Ocean Queen is doing everything in her power to be civil right now.

The Queens hums, her tail flicking behind her, probably not as discreet as she would like it to be. “Well. I was just here for a report and a look around. I think I'll be going now, if that's okay with you.” She hasn't even gotten the report yet, and she already wants to leave. Fwhip has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at the statement, and instead forces himself to look wholly disinterested in the whole conversation. Just as people would expect him to be, after all.

“That's perfectly fine with me, ma'am. I'm sure you're very busy indeed.” Pix responds, placing a calm hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. The cod doesn't seem to notice it, everything he does is still controlled and precise as ever. But his posture does seem to relax, just the tiniest bit.

“Yes, busy.” The Queen responds, almost distantly. Like her mind is very far elsewhere at the moment; perhaps it is back at her Castle, where she clearly would rather be instead. “I need a word with my…child very quickly, if I may.” She adds, her eyes still trained on her son. Almost like some kind of predator.

“Of course!” Pix's smile seems a bit more forced after that, and he slowly removes his hand off Jimmy’s shoulder. For a brief second, the young cod looks a little terrified, but he doesn't say anything at all. He just lets his mother whisk him off to the side, a few feet away, while their guests wait behind them.

Fwhip wants to ask something, anything about what's happening, but he doesn't. Pix is…oddly stiff as they watch the two Merfolks exchange, and whatever question Fwhip has dies in his mouth. He knows not to pry when his friend gets like this, because the answer he will get will only be stony silence. The King watches the ordeal through narrowed eyes, observing Jimmy and his mothers body language as they talk. The whole ordeal seems to be a rather tense one, and Fwhip can't help but eavesdrop. Just a little bit. Though he doesn't hear much, and can only catch the last few snippets of the conversation.

The Queen crouches down next to her son, so that they are eye level. Her hands are firmly placed on his shoulders, so he cannot move or pull away. It looks like her nails are digging in, and Fwhip really hopes that's not the case. Her lips move as she whispers something, voice rising slightly with every new word. Until Fwhip doesn't even have to try too hard to overhear it anymore. And if he can hear it, so can King Pix besides him. Whatever the consequences of that are.

“You do what you've been told, K-,” The Queen hisses, and Fwhip chooses to stop listening right about that point in the discussion. He feels like one of those words isn't for him to hear, now or ever. Like Jimmy doesn't want him to hear it. “Remember that.”

“Yes ma'am.” Jimmy says, his gaze firmly fixed on the floor. His mother glares at him for a moment more, as if assessing him. She huffs, then loosens her grip enough for Jimmy to wiggle free. He doesn't try, and doesn’t move until he is let go fully. Jimmy only moves when she starts to walk back towards them, and follows behind the Queen more obedient than he had the first time. Whatever bad feeling Fwhip had about the ruler was now confirmed, and was taking form in a rather strong dislike. He could see why everyone else detested the woman so much, and why his mother always complained about having to deal with her. (Which was funny, considering how similar they seemed to be. But that was a train of thought for another day.)

The Queen and Pix have a small word, and then she is off again. Fwhip pays that exchange no mind. Instead, the half dragon focuses on Jimmy; who is now just standing next to him. He seems a little zoned out, and won't respond to the small nudges Fwhip gives him. He doesn't fully relax either, not until his mother is out of sight, even though her attention had never returned to him once it left the first time.

“You okay, Jimmy?” Fwhip mumbled, seeing the breath he let out at her departure. He doesn't really know why he did it, but the half dragon slipped a hand into the cods. It's something he does when Gem gets a little rattled, and does it without thinking. Maybe that's why he did it, because Jimmy seemed all rattled from whatever his mom had called him. Maybe it was just a habit just a habit at that point, he didn't know.

“Yeah, yeah I'm fine.” The blonde answered, not making any comment in the hand holding. But he did briefly lace their fingers together, and squeezed the other's hand just a little bit. “Can you two go get something? From all the storage areas? They need to fix up some parts of the church after last week's rain…” He mumbled, now talking to Pix as well. Fwhip ignored how the ruler was looking at their hands with a small smile on his face.

“Sure thing.” The Pixandrian says, nudging the half dragon lightly. He lets go of Jimmy’s hand more reluctantly than he thought he would. “C'mon Fwhip.” The half dragon follows, sparing only half a glance over his shoulder as they walk away. He figures Jimmy just needs a moment to regroup himself after his mother’s visit, and nothing more. He’ll probably go and help them with the Church later, if it doesn’t get too late.

He and Pix head towards said church, and ask around about what materials are needed for the repairs. Once they have a small list of that, the two royals start off to the empire’s storage area, Fwhip prepared to rummage around a probably very disorganized mess. Since storage areas tended to be just that. But it’s there that the day went further downhill, as someone had questions that they needed answers to, and subsequently started to question his young friend about it. Answers the future Count would never be able to ever give.

“Fwhip.” Pix hums out his young friend’s name after a few minutes of quiet work, scanning over the list of materials they had been given for the third time. He doesn't look up from the paper as he speaks, scanning over it still.

“Yeah?” The ginger asks, turning to look at the older man. The Pixandrian’s tone is….more suspicious than it normally is. Or ever is. Fwhip doesn't exactly know where this is going, but he does know that he doesn't like it.

“Are you really…interested in Jimmy?” The brunette says, the words sounding oh so innocent when they spill from his lips. To Fwhip they are one of the worst things a man could say to him.

The young Count feels his hand stiffen over whatever he's holding at the question, and what also feels like all his blood turning to ice and dread pools in his stomach. Still he tries to stay calm and controlled when he speaks. Like the question never bothered him. “What do you mean?”

Pix hums again before he speaks, humming one of the tunes he likes to hum when working. “Well there's been rumors about you two being a couple. That's something you don't see everyday, two young royals pairing up…of their own accord.” The Pixandrian says, his tone only holding curiosity. And some mild suspicion buried deep down, to anyone whose head isn't clogged with fear. To Fwhip this is the scariest conversation he will ever, ever have with this man. “I knew you two didn't particularly get along before, so I've just been intrigued about what I've been hearing.”

“Well, you've been around us all day,” Fwhip shrugs, trying to act nonchalant the best he can. He doesn't think it's working very well. “What do you think?”

“I think you're acting like they are true, in a way.” The Copper King says, and finally turns his head to look at the young half dragon. His gaze is not met like he perhaps expected to be.

“Why'd you even ask in the first place? It isn't really your business.” He huffs, having turned back to the materials he was sorting through a while ago. Fwhip decides to ignore the piercing blue eyes burning holes into his backside for the next few minutes.

“I know it's not, trust me.” Pix reassures, finally finding some of the materials they need. Fwhip is so off-put by this whole conversation, he knew looking for whatever he previously had been would soon be pointless. He already wanted to leave the storage buildings as soon as possible anyways. “Jimmy just informed me about the deal between your two kingdoms, and I wondered if it came with any strings attached. He didn't seem to be happy about it when he told me.”

“And then I was here today?” Fwhip asked, hand tensely resting over some type of wooden plank that was probably on the list. Probably.

Pix hummed in quiet confirmation. “And then you were here today.”

Fwhip let out a small sigh, and decided he could tell a half truth. It wouldn't hurt to spill some of the basic stuff, not as long as he was vague about it.“My parents thought that us spending time together would be a good idea after the deal, since we used to argue a lot.”

“Did it turn into something more?” Pix asked, genuinely curious. Because he truly cared about them. Both of them. It's what made walking on eggshells around the subject so hard, lying to the people who wanted nothing more than to help. (Some of the very few people who could actually help them too, no less.)

The ginger blushed at that, and averted his gaze to the side. Goddammit why was he blushing. He shouldn't be blushing over a stupid fishboy that he hated. “Maybe.”

He felt Pix’s warm smile on his back, and relaxed slightly under it. His smile always had that effect, even in the hard moments like this. “Well if it did, I'm happy for you two.”

“And how do you know it didn't?” Fwhip asked, even though he barely dared to do so. Even if the possible answer scared the life out of him.

“I know when you're lying to me, young Fwhip. You're not very good at it.” Pix repsonded, which, yeah, he was right about all that. Fwhip wasn't the best liar in the world, and the Pixandrian had known him for far too long. Pix had seen more of his horrible lies than anyone else had, other than maybe his sister. “But I also know when to keep my mouth shut.”

“Could you….tell me about cod history sometime?” Fwhip mutters, a little embarrassed that he has to ask such a thing. Especially to Pix, who doesn’t even live anywhere near the ocean. He is just making the correct assumption about how well read the man is about everything.

“Why not ask Jimmy, or Lizzie?” Pix inquires, handing him some supplies to carry back. So it looks like he did more than he actually did, and wasn’t just the Grimlands dead weight. Probably. At last that’s why Fwhip thought he did so, if he just didn’t need help. Ya know, the far more likely reason out of those two.

“Jimmy doesn’t like talking about it, I think. Plus he seems lost on how everything works still. And Lizzie doesn’t get to see me much.” Fwhip explains with a shrug, taking the items he's handed. It's quite a heavy load of stuff, that's for sure, and he has to wonder how bad the damages to the church truly were.

“Yes, I will. One day.” Pix agrees, starting out of the storage area and back towards the damaged building. Fwhip follows after him, stumbling a little under the weight of his supplies.

“Thanks.” The half dragon mumbled, taking longer strides so he could keep up with his older friend. Once Pixl noticed this, however, he did slow his pace down. “Do you…do you know where Jimmy is?” He asked after a moment, feeling the redness start to flood his face. This wasn’t helping the earlier assumptions, that’s for sure.

“I think he went back to his shack for the day.” Pix hummed after a thoughtful moment, before giving his younger friend a teasing look. “Why? You miss him already?”

“No.” Fwhip muttered, quiet and embarrassed. He knew the Pixandrian was gonna tease him about his “ crush ” for forever now. Dangit. “And thanks.”

“You're welcome.” Pix said, looking like he wanted to ruffle the half dragon's hair, but couldn't for once. Fwhip appreciated the sentiment regardless, and was sure he'd get another head ruffle as soon as possible. “Now give those back to me, so you can go see your little boyfriend.”

“ B-Boyfriend!? He's not my-” Fwhip stammered out, his wings puffing out behind him on instinct. He was sure his face was as red as his hair by now, the flush having reached the tips of his ears. Pix did nothing but giggle at his own successful quip, and watch as the young royal struggled to regain his former composure. “..Are you sure you can carry all this? I don't have to go…”

Pix shakes his head, and reaches out to take the stuff from the young half dragon. “I'll be fine, Fwhip. I've carried a lot worse in my day.” He hums, and Fwhip slowly starts to hand his share of the materials over. “Besides, I think you have something to talk about.” And well, he is right about that. There is something he wants to tell Jimmy about….

“Right, um.” Fwhip says, all of the materials now out of his hands and into Pix’s. He was still worried about the other carrying all that weight, but knew the other would give him the exact same response again if he protested. “Thank you, again.”

“Anytime, now run along. Jimmy’s shack is just by the docks.” Pix said, managing to nudge him off in that direction. Fwhip huffed, threw yet another thank you over his shoulder as he started his return trip to the docks. It was a little tricky to find his way back, and he had to deal with quite a few nasty stares as he wandered around the swamp. But eventually, the half dragon does spot the shack eventually. And it is indeed a shack, too small to be called a house, and it’s not particularly pretty either, so of course it’s Jimmy’s. Once he sees it, he beelines for the door, and slips inside as soon as he isn’t fumbling with the lock. “Pix just asked about us.” Fwhip said, locking the door behind them as quickly as he can. The half dragon leaned against it too, for extra measure. He distantly hoped no one walked by and heard them, because that would be extra, extra bad. “He asked if I was actually into you.”

Jimmy’s head shot in his direction, eyes wide like a baby deer’s. He was standing halfway across the room when Fwhip entered, doing who knows what, and stopped it as soon as the words processed in his little fish brain. “Did you tell him?” The cod asked, clearly fighting back the fear in his voice. A small tinge of sympathy went through Fwhip for a moment, but then he pushed it right back down again.

“I wanted to, but I didn't.” He said, now moving off the door. The half dragon made sure it was locked before he did so, and moved closer to where Jimmy was standing. Both of their tails flicked across the ground in near sync, anxious and worried.

“Thank cod.” Jimmy mumbled, running a hand over his face in momentary relief. He hugged his arms to his chest again, and a frown settled onto his face. One that wouldn’t really leave for the rest of the day, rather unfortunately for the blonde.

Fwhip gave a small sigh of his own, and a nonchalant shrug to accompany it as well. To make it seem like he cared a little less than he did or something. Even if the amount he cared was pretty small to begin with. “I figured your mom would have your head if I did. Even if I really, really trust him.”

“So someone’s onto us?” Jimmy asked, hugging his arms tighter to his chest.

The half dragon let out a huff, and pretended not to notice when he did that. Like he did everytime, even when it was a pretty noticeable quirk of the cod’s. “He even asked if they arranged a marriage.”

“Oh no….” The blonde mutters, and Fwhip feels the same dread that is in Jimmy’s voice. He feels it very deep down in bones at the moment, and knows its the kinda dread that won’t ever go away.

The both of them are….decently terrified of what will happen if the news is broken suddenly, and not slowly overtime like they planned. Fwhip is scared of what the people will say, what all his salmonfolk friends would think. What the people working in his family's manor would say to him and to his father. And that fear is just over the current plan, let alone whatever would happen if the truth was revealed. Jimmy, as he'd admitted before one night, is deathly terrified of his mother's reaction; more so than any merfolk or codfolk's. Especially if the marriage doesn’t go as planned. He says the Ocean Queen does not like it when she doesn't get her way, and Fwhip feels like he has the emotional scars to prove it too.

There is also a new sense of duty tying them both down after today. Duty to their kingdoms, their people, their parents. Duty to a lot of people. Duty to the world and the peace this arrangement would undoubtedly bring. Duty to the lives and the grief that would be spared by avoiding war. There was….a lot of duty riding on this, and it had taken them years to realize that fact. Now that they had, it had become something of its own heavy burden on both of the boys shoulders’.

“We have to sell it better.” Fwhip said after a moment, shuffling his weight from side to side. He didn’t know what to do, standing in this house talking to Jimmy. But he needed to do something, something with his hands or his body. Something to get all that nervous energy out before it exploded.

“I know,” Jimmy agrees, and looks like he’s about to start pacing. The ginger really hopes he won’t do that, because that would be stupid and pointless and annoying. Like almost every other thing the blonde does, actually. “But how do we do that?”

Fwhip hums, turning the idea over in his head for a bit. Even if he knows there’s only one logical solution to it, a solution he doesn’t want to admit. But he says it anyway, just to get it out there and out of his thoughts. So it won’t linger in the back of his mind like a little pest. “Acting like a couple, maybe…but.”

“We both don't want to.” Jimmy mumbled, sparing a glance at him. There was some emotion in his eyes, and Fwhip didn’t even dare to put a name to it. There were a lot of things he wasn’t daring to do, or didn’t like doing today it seemed. And this was just yet another one.

“Yeah.” The ginger mutters, glancing back at the blonde. He blinks in surprise, finding that they are…..very close. Close enough to touch. The cod says nothing, just blinks back at him all wide eyed.

For a moment, as he and Jimmy just stare at each other, Fwhip lets his mind wander. He wonders what it would be like to kiss him, just a little bit. He wonders what it would feel like, if it would feel like anything at all. His eyes flick downwards, and wonders if Jimmy’s lips are soft, or if they would be rough and horrible to feel against his own. He wonders if they’ll ever share that moment together.

“What are you staring at?” Jimmy says quietly after a minute. Fwhip jumps in surprise, feeling a blush start to spread across his cheeks. The half dragon moves his eyes away from the others lips, and focuses them on somewhere else in the room. He…..didn't know why he was thinking that. He shouldn't be thinking about kissing Jimmy.

“Nothing.” He muttered, tail flicking slightly in embarrassment. “It's nothing.” If he wasn't mistaken, Jimmy's face was also starting to turn a bit red as well, and his eyes had started to wander too. Meaning that they had…..maybe been thinking similar things. Just maybe. Maybe he wasn't totally weird for that one then.

The cod doesn't give a verbal response, cheeks a decent shade of pink. Instead he gestures for Fwhip to sit down somewhere, and the half dragon does so. He practically curls himself into a little ball, taking up residency on one of the couch cushions. The left one by the arm, so he can further sink into the material and be miserable. Because today has been pretty shit, generally, and he just really wants to go home. But unfortunately, a certain someone can't understand social cues, and won't just let him suffer in peace.

“So, why was your dad so eager to get you out of the house?” Jimmy says, plopping himself down next to Fwhip on the rather small couch. He curls his tail around his legs, making a pointed effort to keep all his limbs in his own personal space as best he can. The sentiment is somewhat appreciated.

Fwhip looks up, shame already starting to form in the bottom of his gut. “You heard about that?” He mumbled, resisting the urge to hide his face like a child would. He’s not going to do that, especially not around the dumb codboy , because he’s not a child.

“Yep.” Jimmy says, leaning his head against the back of the couch, his gaze now foxed on the brown ceiling that seemed so far above the both of them. “Your dad was so eager he even surprised my mum when they talked. She said he was never that…. happy about getting rid of his kid for a few weeks.”

“We had…..family issues. To put it lightly.” Fwhip gives a brief explanation, figuring the other can probably guess that much. Handing over information would probably shut him up as well, to be fair. “And now that's an excuse for dumb arrangement shit to go on.”

“No, I think this visit was always going to happen.” Jimmy shakes his head, and gives the most sensible explanation Fwhip thinks has ever come out of his mouth. Especially about their…. situation . “Letting your child spend a few weeks in your enemy's land is something they wouldn't do, not if there wasn't a political thing behind it.”

“It makes the peace treaty seem more believable when it gets announced, you know? It makes it seem like we've been genuinely repairing relations for the past few years.” The cod’s eyes stay distant, and trained on the wall as he speaks. Like he’s known the reality of all this the whole time, and it’s been choking him to death. “Even though it's all fake.”

“When did you get so smart?” Fwhip snorts, considering all that. And yeah, he’s right. Not only does that make sense, it’s also something both their parents would do. The ginger knows that without a doubt, and it’s part of what makes the whole argument so horrible. That their parents don’t care enough to not use them as scapegoats, and don’t care enough to solve all their kingdoms' problems literally any other way that the cruelest and easiest one presented to them.

“A lot of stolen books on diplomacy.” Jimmy mutters, and Fwhip files that away for later, so he can ask why the idiot has to steal books when he’s gonna be the leader of a whole damn country. Even if the answer is as simple as his mom being a horrible person, but still, the ginger likes knowing details about things. “But I'm here to talk about you, not our stupid arrangement.”

“....Me and Gem had a fight. A pretty bad one.” He admits with a sigh, and buries his head back into his arms. It’s easier to talk this way, if he doesn’t have to face the person he’s being forced to open up to. (Forced, like he couldn’t just cuss Jimmy out and be left alone afterwards…)

Jimmy lets out an understanding hum, their shoulders now somewhat touching. Fwhip pointedly decides to ignore that. “Is that why my last visit was canceled?”

“Yep.” Fwhip hums, popping the p. He really doesn't wanna talk about this. Especially not with Jimmy, in an unfamiliar empire no less. But he guesses he kinda has to for a little bit, well that’s what he’s been telling himself. Because Jimmy won’t shut up about it if he doesn’t, probably, and he’s annoying as fuck all the time.

“I get it. Me and Lizzie always argue.” The blonde said, sounding so sure of himself. Like this fight wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen to the ginger, like he could’ve known that without being told so. “Gem'll come around, eventually.”

“How do you know it was her fault?” Fwhip asks, tail curled tighter around himself. He isn’t even sure if it's Gem’s fault anymore; honestly it feels like it's more his fault than anything. He had been the one to start the argument, after all. But maybe it's none of their faults, maybe it's their parents, Fwhip doesn't know. All he knows is that he kinda wants to cry whenever he thinks about the fight. He knows that he feels guilty. He knows he loves Gem so fucking much and that fighting with her hurts, but being at home and dealing with their family also really, really hurts.

Part of him thinks he just wants his childhood back. When they were both small and whole and blissfully unaware of all the problems yet to come.

“I just have a feeling our sisters are very similar. That's all.” Jimmy says, now fully leaning on him. Fwhip is still ignoring it, and couldn’t decide if the touch was annoying or comforting at the moment. He didn’t want to find out either.

“You're an observant little fuck, aren't you?” He snorts, finally looking up again.

“So I've been told.” The cod holds back a small giggle, the happiest he’d sounded all day, before and after this moment. “We're going back to the Castle before nightfall, by the way, and we'll be back out here almost everyday.” He adds, moving away from the half dragon. Fwhip tries not to miss the contact of their shoulders too much.

“Is this how you live now? Because it kinda sucks man.” He huffs, uncurling himself slowly. He can’t imagine having to basically run an empire, on top of living at his horrible house and dealing with his horrible family. All while being barely sixteen as well….

Sometimes, it was very, very, very hard not to feel bad for Jimmy. To not feel a kind of companionship with their horrible situations all the time. It was very hard.

“I know. But I like the swamp more, so it's okay.” Jimmy mumbles quietly, and it sounds like he’s lying. He then nudges Fwhip a little harshly, and nearly topples him off the couch. It seems the feelings talk is complete over then, and it’s back to business as usual. “Now get up, we don't leave the swamp after sunset, and the afternoon’s already halfway over.”

“Fine. Bossy .” Fwhip huffed, and managed to get to his feet. He followed the other across the small shack and out of the door, into probably a horrible first night at the Prisma Palace, with many more to come after it. Jimmy said nothing as they walked and were brought back to his home, not a single word, and it was all he needed to say.

#ron.writing #ron.fic #jimmy solidarity #fwhimmy #empires smp #ily (im not supossed too)#fwhip #empiresshipping #empires shipping

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