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thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai · 1 day

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We need to talk about this

because Yuuri's reaction here is a result of his anxiety disorder and his tendency to self-deprecation and having depressive thoughts. That he ends up here is being carefully foreshadowed throughout the series:

First, Viktor said a couple of things that made Yuuri believe that Viktor only wants to coach him until the GPF:

This

and this

is enough to convince and anxious person like Yuuri that Viktor has no intention to coach him beyond the GPF. Note that Viktor never explicitly states that he will coach Yuuri only for the first half of the season - it's the natural conclusion an anxious brain will draw. And that's neither Viktor's nor Yuuri's fault.

And then this, while Yuuri is within hearing distance:

I'm getting a queasy feeling in my stomach just from watching this scene because I relate to Yuuri so much. If I had eavesdropped on this interview, I would have freaked out internally. Like what does that even mean? Is he talking about his career or is this a carefully crafted answer to convince the press to leave him and Yuuri alone for the next couple of weeks? This secret is probably between Viktor and the YOI creators alone (I have theories, but I'm not going to discuss them here because this post is about Yuuri).

Second, although he becomes more confident throughout the show, the self-deprecating part of Yuuri has a low opinion about his own skating. From his perspective, his contribution to the sport seems less valuable than Viktor's, even when he starts to understand that he's far more than a dime-a-dozen skater. The realisation that he is as least as talented as Viktor, only drives home the moment he breaks Viktor's world record.

Because Yuuri has such a low opinion of himself, he doesn't understand how much Viktor enjoys watching him skate, which is another aspect factoring into his decision.

Third, Yuuri genuinely believes that Viktor wants to return to the ice and would rejoice when Yuuri retires. Having seen Viktor watch the other skaters at the GPF cements the decision he made at the Rostelecom Cup. The fact that basically everyone has told him throughout the last 11 episodes that he's keeping Viktor from skating gives more weight to the idea.

Yes, you got that right. Yuuri deided to retire, before he proposed to Viktor and before he bought two matching rings and put one of them on Viktor's finger. However, now Yuuri knows that Viktor would coach him for as long as Yuuri wants to keep skating, which forces him to release Viktor from his duties at the point he believes Viktor wanted to stop coaching him initially.

"Let's end this" is not about breaking up. Yuuri is releasing Viktor as his coach. He is sacrificing his career so that Viktor can keep pursuing his own career which Viktor once sacrificed for him.

Of course he's surprised that Viktor bursts out in tears.

Yuuri has the right to retire whenever he wants. He doesn't need to consult Viktor. If he thinks (for whichever stupid reason) it's time, he can make this decision on his own.

Is it selfish?

Lol no. Only Viktor thinks it is because he's conflating the coach and the partner and takes it personally. He's hurt and feels rejected because he doesn't understand that Yuuri did it for him and that causes a drama Yuuri was not prepared for.

Is it stupid?

Absolutely. But poor communication skills, Yuuri is too caught up in his mental issues to even think of having a discussion that would lead them to a solution with which both would be happy (both training in St. Petersburg *wink* *wink*). It's not malice, insensitivity, or shitty behaviour that drives Yuuri to this point. It's all about his mental issues. And love.

#yuri on ice #yoi #yoi meta #my yoi meta #katsuki yuuri #viktor nikiforov

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cenittxnadir · 2 days

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A little fever (Nightcrawler x Reader)

Okey, so this is my very firt story with Kurt. I´ll be posting more soon about him, for the moment I will only write about him. So please tell me if you like it or if you some ideas. You know the drip, english is not my first lenguage... nor german...

Having free time was something new within the mansion, now with Magneto in charge of the institute and reorganizing the activities among the inhabitants of the mansion, he left several mutants without many responsibilities other than taking care of the minors and ensuring that they complete their tasks and training. Because yes, Magneto may be a terrorist and a murderer, but he will never be irresponsible towards education, especially towards the youngest members of the house. So every day he personally made sure that each and every one of the young people attended their classes.

Very responsible on his part, but it does not take away the feeling of discomfort in some of the members, especially the X-Men like Wolverine or Scott, -the only thing they have agreed on since Professor Xaver died-

However, this didn't bother you that much, since you shared the idea with Rogue of giving Magnus a second chance. Because if life had given you a second chance to do things well and help others with your powers, why would you be the one who would deny it to someone else who in the end only seeks to continue with the Professor's dream. Maybe a very innocent or naive move on your part in wanting to see the best in the worst situations but they couldn't blame you either, that's what happens when you live for a long time with a certain blue ex-priest.

Kurt Wagner or better known as Nightcrawler is famous among the mansion even though his humility does not allow him to recognize it, but he is very loved within the mutant community, both at the institute and in Genosha. Since his arrival at the mansion, Kurt has been the echo of the people who continue their struggle and the voice of those who cannot raise it due to the impunity that lives in a world where being different was wrong.

But for you, more than a spokesperson or a faithful follower of God's teachings, he was a man, a very good one whom you had the fortune of calling boyfriend and sharing life with him for a couple of years now.

Unfortunately, being someone who was too influential within the community, Magneto relied a lot on him and his professionalism to deal with complicated issues within Genosha. He was recently offered the position as Faith Group Mediator in Genosha and it was definitely not an opportunity he would pass up, there was so much to do and learn. But Kurt is still one person against the hundreds of problems that a nascent nation can have, the poor man was exhausted but his determination to help was greater than his physical or emotional ailments.

You had been living apart for a couple of months now, the problem was not the distance, Megneto was kind to you and gave you access to the Jet as many times as you wanted so you could go visit him, but like Kurt, you were also someone important among the X-Men, you were a very good teacher and guide for the younger ones who were just awakening their abilities and Magneto needed you in that area. It was not an easy decision for the two of you but it was a good opportunity to explore new areas in your lives, you as the one in charge of guiding and educating the new generations and him as a founding member of the nation that would accommodate those new generations.

Lately due to both of their workloads it has caused communication to be minimal, but this would soon change for you since the holidays were approaching and you would have more free time and the possibility of visiting him for a couple of weeks but the problem is that Kurt was not answering your messages or calls, worried you went to the person you least expected to go to discuss a topic of this type.

It was the 5th turn you had taken in the hallway that led to Magneto's office door. You didn't know how to start the conversation or how to ask him, maybe Kurt was very busy and going to visit him would only delay him in his work and you didn't want that to cause him problems with Magneto, even though he now plays for the good guys you are still afraid of him. Whatever the reason Kurt wasn't responding, you had to make a decision right then and there.

A couple more turns and you almost left marks from your shoes on the carpet.

"Come on, you can do it. It's just Magneto, the greatest mutant ex-terrorist in history, what could go wrong?" You started to encourage yourself "Come on, don't you want to see Kurt?" You counted to three, it's now or never. You barely touched the wooden door when it opened.

"I was just going to look for you" "Me? Why?" You were more confused "You might want to sit down." He said something serious as he offered you a seat. "It's about Kurt. He's not okay, there was a flu outbreak on the island recently, nothing alarming, but, he hasn't stopped working since he arrived in Genosha, I've trying to talk to him, he needs to rest and recover from the fever but he doesn't listen to me"

You didn't know what impressed you more, Magneto's concern or Kurt being sick. No one knows if it's part of his mutation or if he just has a good immune system, but it's extremely rare for Kurt to get sick. "I need you to go to Genosha and stop him, it seems that he only listens to you."

"Well... that explains why he doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't answer my messages, much less my calls. I just hope that after this you give him a break from so much work, Erick." You were a little upset with him, with both of them actually, Erick for making Kurt work too much and Kurt because he is not good at asking for help. "I'll leave right away"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It only took you a few minutes to get everything ready to go, you thought Hank would be more reluctant to lend you the Jet but as soon as he found out what was happening with Kurt he didn't think twice. After a couple of hours you finally arrived at the mutant nation of Genosha, everything was very different from the first time you visited just a couple of months ago. Everything was very beautiful, the lights, the people so colorful and friendly, children being free and happy. It was a dream.

Quickly got out of your thoughts and focused on finding your blue boyfriend who is most likely hiding away working. It was not difficult to find it, Magneto gave instructions on where to look and sure enough. Inside a large window in the main city building was Kurt... well, part of him, you could only see his pointy ears behind a pile of paper towers.

You slowly approached to knock on his door. Silence. Suddenly there was only the sound of a chair being dragged and something moving inside the room. A few seconds later the door opened revealing a rather tired Kurt. You could see the dark circles under his eyes, which didn't shine like they usually did.

"Meine Liebe?" You couldn't help but smile as you listened to Kurt, he sounded overly impressed to see you. Although the smile did not last long since Kurt sounded very bad, he was hoarse and if it were not for the light from the hallway that illuminated his face you would have ignored the color in his cheeks and the sweat on his forehead.

"You're not okay, Krut, you need to rest" was the only thing you could respond, opening the door completely and revealing the office, there were hundreds of papers scattered all over the place. "You haven't stopped working since you arrived. You had me worried" Kurt didn't say anything, just hung his head in some shame. "It's true, I didn't tell you anything because I didn't want to worry you, I wanted to finish work so I could return to the mansion with you as a surprise but work just keeps piling up and this flu won't leave me alone" He sounded really fed up with the situation.

"Come on, you have to rest. I'll take you home and prepare you something to eat." You took him by the arm carefully. "You probably haven't eaten anything useful all day."

"Of course I have eaten my love! Here in Genosha there is a lot of variety of food and delicious dishes" He said with his circus voice, he always uses it when he is happy or wants to show you something that excites him very much. Or well, with a voice attempt, it really sounded very hoarse

"Dear, candy and desserts don't count as food." You pointed to a pile of wrappers on the side of his desk. "I'm surprised you've never actually had a toothache or something at this point."

You approached his desk to arrange the papers he was working on. "Well, take your things, let's go get something to eat and let you rest."

"But Mein Schatz, I still have a lot of work to do. I can't leave, but you can go ahead and make yourself at home" He gave you the keys to his room

"Kurt, I came here to check on you and make sure you're resting and for God's sake that's what I'm going to do. If I have to take drastic measures or even if I have to drag you to your room I will do it. Don't make me go to extremes Kurt Wagner" You wanted to sound serious but it was almost impossible, you were too happy to see him.

"If you continue to be reckless, then I will have to leave and there will be no cuddling sessions for at least a whole month, anyway you are very busy with your work. I think I better go" You said with a fake sad tone as you walked towards the exit but a huge gasp stopped you.

"You wouldn't dare do that! Saying that is like blasphemy." Kurt looked at his desk for a second. "On second thought, going to rest doesn't sound so bad." He looked at you with concern, he really thought you were going to leave him without his sessions. They were sacred to him.

"Well, let's go. It's still early, if we leave right now we'll have more time for ourselves." You didn't even finish speaking when Kurt was already on the side of the door ready to leave with you.

When you got to his room you could see Kurt better, his face was tired and the fever was still there.

"Why don't you take a bath while I'll take care of the food?" you took his face in your hands, caressing his cheek and then leaving a kiss on his nose.

The bath took effect and soon his temperature began to drop but he still had to eat something before taking his medicine. They were both sitting on the couch eating some hot soup while watching something on television, although it was just background noise.

Kurt was telling you what his days had been like since he arrived, you were paying attention but you couldn't help but see how he rubbed his shoulder constantly.

"Love? Are you okay?" you pointed to his shoulder

"Ah, it's nothing, it's just that I haven't been able to sleep well lately and well... sitting for hours is not very pleasant" He said with a sideways smile showing one of his fangs.

Without saying anything you took him by the hand and led him to the bed, asking him to lie face down while you took some oils and creams from your backpack. Kurt initially refused because he knew he was going to fall asleep and wanted to spend the night awake with you talking. Not a very smart plan considering his state of health. The complaints were short-lived once he felt your hands on his back. Almost by magic, Kurt remained silent and soon you only heard small snoring due to his congestion. You couldn't help but laugh a little, he looked so adorable. You took his blanket and tucked him in, giving him a kiss on the head.

You quickly cleaned what was used during dinner and changed your clothes to lie next to Kurt, who almost as if it were a magnetic force moved until he was lying on your chest. You were definitely going to wake up with the flu but that didn't matter.

"Please don't go," Kurt said in his sleep.

"No, my love. I'm going to stay here with you"

#nightcrawler #kurt wagner #x men 97 #xmen #comics #kurt wagner x reader #nightcrawler x reader #fluff #please i need this

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drdemonprince · 2 days

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I recently finished reading your book Unlearning Shame, and I absolutely loved it. I found the conceptual framework of Internalized Shame and your techniques for it so very helpful, especially when most ideas of mental health (anxiety and depression, trauma, etc.) have seemed insufficient and useless to me.

However, there was one thing that kind of bugged me the whole way through reading it. Your primary focus was the shame people face as part of marginalization, but often, this too felt insufficient for me. Like, I do face a lot of this flavor of shame: I'm an autistic trans woman, feeling like I'm cringey or childish or creepy or obscene or whatever are things that bug me daily, and restrict a lot of my freedom.

However, a lot of the shame I deal with stems from some kind of awful things I've done in the past, and this is perhaps the loneliest and most difficult kind of shame I deal with. To be fair, I think a lot of this has been very closely linked to my marginalization: people would interpret genuine mistakes of mine as signs I was some awful, manipulative predator, and quickly oust me from their friend groups as a result. If I had been an allistic cis man I would have faced far gentler behavior, or at least far more people would have justified the shit I did.

Regardless, very little in the book dealt with shame tied to guilt and wrongdoing. I remember there was mostly just this one tantalizing line about how even previous members of neonazi groups can benefit from speaking shame, but other than that, I didn't see much.

So my question here is, do you know how to deal with the shame of doing something really bad, and facing the consequences?

Thank you for asking, I'm glad you liked the book!

There are answers for you throughout the book, I think. Arguably, many of the examples of shame I outline involve feeling regret or shame over one's actions. People who do not recycle "enough" and feel profound shame and anxiety about it are people who have done something "wrong," in their minds. So are people who have repeated internalized transphobic/racist/fatphobic/etc messages to other people who share the same identities as them. These people's actions are systemically caused, and they are suffering from those same systemic forces that provoked them to take actions they feel bad about.

You aren't any more morally culpable than any of them, and you aren't qualitatively different from them -- even if you are likely telling yourself that what you did is so much "worse" and so much less justified.

You can find much of the advice that I apply to people who feel ashamed about an experience (a rape survivor, say), apply equally to you as someone who might have done something you view as "wrong." You can also look to the material in chapters 7 and 8 about finding grace and perspective for others who have done wrong to us, and apply much of that yourself. A person must be held in community before they can be held accountable, for example. Understanding the circumstances that contributed to your behavior is important, which it sounds like you've already done some work on, as is contemplating the needs you were attempting to meet with your actions, and the social supports you currently still need in order to move forward.

If someone has taken actions that go against even their own morals and they feel profoundly ashamed about it, I'd say they are generally still in a state of far-reaching systemic shame that goes far deeper and requires far more healing and support than just addressing the morality of their own actions. There's usually a lot of shame about one's identities, deprivation one is facing, fears of abandonment and attachment insecurities, and other major issues going on. Because a person wouldn't just violate their own moral precepts for no good reason.

No one wants to feel that they are a horrible person according to their own personal standards of goodness. A person's actions always make sense within their own context, and so when someone does something "wrong," either they have done something that they do not actually believe to be wrong, but fear societal judgement for, or they have been pushed to the brink by extreme distress, deprivation, abuse, indoctrination, political repression, exclusion, or likely a combination of those things.

I hope this is making sense. If you feel ashamed of something you have done, you need the exact same healing, safe vulnerability, social support, and trust as someone who is ashamed about something over which they have no control. There is no difference, you are no more deserving of that shame, and shame still will not prevent you from changing your behavior for the better. You can believe wholly that your actions in the past were wrong, and uphold your current values in the present, without deserving to feel any more shame about it.

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foolsocracy · 3 days

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Hi, hello, I’m new to your blog. I’ve made myself at home. Lovely carpet.

Can I please know more about your spider Robbie pie? Can’t seem to find the silverware.

but of course, kind anon

Spider Robbie is an au in which Robbie Robertson takes up the spider mantle after the death of the one before him. He is the third, following Ben Urich and, most notably, Peter Parker.

This au is very much canon divergence from Eyes Without a Face, where Peter makes it in time to save Robbie from his original fate but dies in the process. Peter is shot while rushing Robbie and the others out. In his panic and elation at finding Robbie physically unharmed, Peter outs himself as the Spider Man to his best friend. Robbie stays with him as he bleeds out and resolves to continue to hide Peter's identity.

Peter is buried and remains that way for... an undetermined amount of time.

Robbie is left with a mask, a jacket, and the question of just who was this other half of his friend. As he learns more of who this... Spider Man was, he gets more and more involved in the spider's cases and conflicts. Robbie gets more sure of his own abilities and makes a bit of a name for the Spider Man within his own community, though the people of Harlem are largely unaware that the appearances of a masked vigilante match the interests of one Robbie Robertson.

It is to be noted that none of these aforementioned abilities are spider-god-induced powers like Peter's. Robbie, especially at the beginning of his spidering career, leans more into Urich's role than Parker's. To me, Robbie has been passionate about the press and journalism in a way that Peter never was. For Pete, his job as a photographer and reporter was a job he took until he could get into college and study science. Robbie has a way with words and communication that Peter frankly lacks. Of course, that isn't to say that Robbie won't be kicking ass, because he will. It will just take him a bit of time to get some of those skills as he's, well, a normal guy. Not everyone can get their biology scrambled like Pete.

And just because Robbie hasn't been scrambled doesn't mean he's completely separate from all things supernatural either!

I think the marvel noir universe is at its best when there's a magical, supernatural undercurrent. This concept isn't super prevalent in the actual comics, but HoplesslyLost on ao3 has done some really cool world building with it.

I think in Robbie's case, where he would be the narrator, "magical realism" would be an interesting avenue to take it. I use this term in particular because I most closely relate it to Toni Morrison in my head, when I first learned about it through her work in high school. For Morrison, the concept was inseparable to blackness and I think for Robbie, where his blackness is so central to his character and his motivations, drawing on that could be more of a service to his character. It feels better to do that than ignore how incredibly racialized his society and story is. It will make his relationship with the spider god, Peter (who I will get to very very shortly), his community, and his own mythos as The Spider Man really interesting and complex.

So it's been established that Robbie doesn't have spider powers. And we all know that Peter did-- or should I say does. One of the spider god's abilities is to bring Peter back to life. She does this in the comics, but not in any of the runs from 2008-2010 (the runs that make up this au). When Peter dies on Ellis Island, he does not think he is coming back from that. Waking up again is a surprise.

Here's where I think the au really takes a left turn. Do I think the Spider God is purely evil and spiteful and has it out for Pete? No, not really. Will I be ramping said traits up to 11 for the au? Yeah, I guess I might. This is because I love a little bit of horror and the came back wrong trope. I will hopefully be fleshing the spider god out in the near future, but I really haven't given her the many hours of thought I have the other characters. For that I'm sorry spider god </3

Peter digs himself out of his grave, more spider than he ever has been. For much of his new, waking life he is more animalistic than not. There is clearly something wrong with him; his joints are too flexible and loose, he's got some eye-shine going on, his skin is pale and his veins are starkly dark beneath it. He's possessed. Someone is puppeteering him, someone who knows a lot-- almost everything about him, but it's clear that the someone isn't him.

And Peter--- the body, it can't be Peter. At least, that's what Robbie thinks when the figure catches his eye the first time. Because Peter is dead and buried, and he has been dead and buried for weeks.

#WOAH this is long #while still not saying much... mweh heh heh #other notes that i don't know how to add in w/out derailing the main vague explanation of the au:#the trio shifts from Peter & Robbie & MJ to Robbie & MJ & Gloria #robbie and his girl gang #and u all know me for my robbienoir shipping well.... Peter's romantic feelings for Robbie are a major point of some parts of this au #get possessed gay boy #Toni Morrison might be a bit out of left field here but I love her work so much and I actually listen to her interviews #to get a grasp on how I want robbie's language to flow. I am NOT eloquent but she has such a way w words when she just SPEAKS #her and the rapper Milo lol #i should give this a read through but im not. ill see all my mistakes tomorrow LOL #spider robbie au #spider noir #my art #peter benjamin parker #robbie robertson #ben urich #asks #anon #thanks for the ask!!!#hope you find your utensils alright

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smol-and-scared · 2 days

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Endemic Non-Lingual Tinies

Imagine a world where tinies never evolved the capacity for language (Mostly due to the fact that larger civilizations did not survive natural selection)

I posted about this idea before, but let me be more specific this time: These tinies cannot speak, cannot read or write, and they cannot be taught language. Their brains completely lack the capacity to convey complex ideas. The most 'language' they can possibly learn is about twelve words. And that's just because they memorized the sounds and meaning in the exact same way a dog would.

However... just because they are not able to convey complex thoughts, doesn't mean they don't have them.

Their thoughts aren't articulated as words (like humans do). Instead, they think in images, concepts, and emotions. And their voices are... just little chirping sounds.

Imagine seeing a pack of two or three tinies hiding under a picnic table, chirping and squeaking at each other. They are communicating, but only in the simplest possible terms:

'Anger', 'Confusion?', 'Assertion', 'Anger', 'Apology', 'Submission', 'Acceptance', 'Condescension', 'Exasperation', 'Challenge?', 'Dismissal...', *Scampering Off*, *whimper*

It's like hearing crows argue outside your window. There is clearly a conversation happening. But it's all conveyed through tone, body language, pitch and context. But to a human? It's just a bunch of tiny noises that sound almost identical.

That's just how things are with tinies! They're clearly intelligent. Most of them are able to craft weapons, tools and clothes. Some have even been observed making mechanical devices!

For a moment, one could almost forget how different their minds are. Watching them work, they seem just like us... And then you notice those tiny engineers keep a sort of 'Master Pebble' (which they carry everywhere, cradling it protectively) Because they do not have any other way to standardize their measurements within or between packs. ...Maybe not just like us.

And of course, how much you see tinies at all depends on the area, its wildlife, fauna, and ~general vibe~ If tinies feel particularly safe somewhere, they will mingle out in the open (but always close to a potential escape route). You can wave at them of course! In a hostile area, they will flee at any acknowledgment. In a friendlier or safer place? They will wave back! They aren't 100% sure what the gesture means, but it keeps the humans happy and most will immediately leave them alone after getting a wave back, so most tinies keep doing it.

[Side note: Mimicry has become most tinies' default solution to a seemingly friendly human gesturing at them. Don't believe me? Lock eyes with a tiny and wiggle your body a couple times. They'll be confused as hell, but goddamn it they will wiggle]

It's extremely rare for a tiny to approach a human, but the experience is absolutely magical. Maybe they're hoping you'll drop some crumbs from the snack you are eating. Perhaps they are curious about you, and perch nearby to watch in amazement as you lift an entire apple! If you've earned their trust, they may even beckon you to help them when there is an emergency or accident.

All in all, tinies are a beautiful little enigma. Their intelligence, willpower and emotions are almost a mirror of our own. But their instincts, communication and relationships are as wild as the animals that surround them.

(I wanted to revisit my idea about tinies that never evolved the capacity for language. Because it's by far my most popular post, and yet somehow, the core vibe never really got across. probably because of the specific fearplay scenario used).

#g/t #g/t writing #g/t concept #giant/tiny #g/t community #tinies #g/t discussion #borrowers #giant tiny

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allaboutthemoonlight · 7 hours

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How to Master Motivation

Hi friends,

Today I want to talk about motivation and finding ways to maintain it in our daily lives. Motivation is a crucial factor that drives us to achieve our goals, overcome challenges, and stay committed to our development.

Understand the locus of control

Our locus of control, internal or external, is the degree to which we believe we have control over what happens to us in our lives. It influences how we respond to circumstances that impact us and how motivated we feel to take action.

An external locus of control is when we believe that our life and the outcomes we experience are a result of external forces beyond our power. We think everything that happens to us occurs because of chance or luck—two things we can’t control.

The key to staying motivated is to develop an internal locus of control. This is when we believe that we’re responsible for the things happening to us and understand that we have control over the outcome. It’s a level of self-determination where we realize our efforts, decisions, and habits create the life we live.

So, how do we adopt an internal locus of control?

The first point I want to emphasize is that, regardless of your perception of how much control you have over your life, the amount of work you put into something is always within your control. The first step is to abandon the mindset that everything is left up to chance and, because of this, you should stop trying. You need to understand that you always have some level of power over your circumstances, even if you’ve been told otherwise:

Be more aware of the choices you make and realize there is always a choice to be made.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or guidance from those around you.

Spend time self-reflecting and trying to understand yourself better. Reflect on previous instances where you’ve felt a lack of control and write down what could have been done instead.

Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s an opportunity to learn.

Know the different types of motivation

Next, I want to talk about the different types of motivation and how they impact you.

There are 4 different types of motivation, each with their own distinctions:

Intrinsic motivation: This is where you do something because it aligns with your values or just because it’s fun. Although it’s good to have intrinsic motivation, this type is fragile and can be undermined when we start feeling like we’re losing autonomy over our choices.

Extrinsic motivation: This is what most people think of when they imagine motivation. It’s when our motivation comes from outside of us—we’re doing something for a reward or to avoid a punishment. It’s the opposite type of motivation that you should seek if you want to be self-driven.

Introjected: This type of motivation can create resentment or tension. We do something because if we don’t, we’ll feel shameful or guilty. For example, you might go to the gym not because you enjoy it or care about the health benefits, but because you feel guilty if you don’t work out.

Identified: The reason you’re doing something is because it aligns with your idealized self. It’s something that you’ve internalized to be important and allows you to behave in accordance with your self-concept and identity. This is the most important type because it creates habitual behaviors are no longer choices. We understand our identity and that certain habits and behaviors need to be done so that we’re constantly aligned with our higher selves. For example, you might regularly volunteer at a local shelter or organization because you’re someone who values compassion and community service.

So, how can we implement identified motivation more into our lives?

Really try and understand the reasoning behind a goal you want to achieve. Ask yourself “why do you actually want this thing?”. This is also a good time to review your values and whether or not your goal aligns with them.

Constantly remind yourself about why the outcome matters to you because we often forget the reason that we started in the first place. —ex.

Like James Clear said, make your goal, system, habit, or whatever you’re wanting to accomplish more motivating or fun. Beyond that, start associating the reward with the challenge itself. If you’re training for a marathon, instead of seeing the finish line as the only reward, find or fulfillment in the training process and the discipline you developed along the way.

Adopt a positive mindset. Rather than complaining about having to workout in the morning or studying for an exam, start saying “I get to study for this exam and further my education” or “I’m blessed to have a body that works for me and allows me to exercise”. It’s all about perspective and embracing gratitude. If you put half the energy that you use from complaining into figuring out how to take the next step, you’ll accomplish a lot more.

Don’t neglect your emotional and mental health

Slumps are very real, and mental health can impact every aspect of motivation. Self-improvement and changing your life aren’t easy journeys by any means, and there will be times when stress and feelings of being overwhelmed can paralyze you. In these moments, it’s critical to take a break, a breather, or anything that can help reset your mental health. Remember to engage in activities that support your emotional needs. Not every second of the day needs to be spent doing something productive or working toward your goals. It’s okay to take breaks and have rest days; in fact, I think it’s crucial.

Reward yourself often, even for the smallest achievements. It’s not about what you completed, but the fact that you completed something at all. Spend time acknowledging your accomplishments.

Take it one step at a time and remember no action is too small. Starting small is what helps us build consistency in the long run.

Embrace positive self-talk. Avoid talking yourself into a negative spiral, as it will only make you lose motivation and put you in a slump.

Get an accountability partner. Having someone in your corner who will cheer for you and keep you accountable is a game changer.

Stay motivated, stay grateful, stay resilient.

Love,

Luna<3

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buttertrait · 26 days

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im just gonna say whats on my mind feel free to ignore this post its kinda petty but i just have to let it out

#i feel like simblr has become very picky and there's very obviously favourites #and while i do feel like this has always been the case ive noticed it a lot more recently #and i think like an example of this is the simblr question of the day and like while i know its just supposed to be a fun little thing #i do feel like its very picky #and i feel like it can make people feel excluded (myself included)#because ofc i understand its unrealistic to send it to everyone #however that still doesnt take away from the fact it excludes a lot of people #i feel like instead of just sending it to a select few people it could be more of an ask chain #like for instance “send this to 5 other simblrs”#because then it feels like more of a thing within the community #idk just #something thats been on my mind #anyway this is probably an unpopular opinion and im probably going to get a lot of people mad at me for this but #idk #butter's thoughts #delete later

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commsroom · 1 year

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to me, the question of whether hera would want a body is first and foremost a question of autonomy and ability. she has an internal self-image, i think it's meaningful that the most pivotal moments in her character arc take place in spaces where she can be perceived the way she perceives herself and interact with others in a (relatively) equal and physical capacity, and that's worth considering. but i don't think it's about how she looks, or even who she is - and i think she's the same person either way; she's equally human without a body, and having a body wouldn't make her lived experience as an AI magically disappear - so much as it's about how she would want to live.

like most things with hera, i'm looking at this through a dual lens of disability and transness, both perspectives from which the body - and particularly disconnect from the body - is a concern. the body as the mechanism by which she's able to interact with the world; understanding her physical isolation as a product of her disability, the body as a disability aid. the body as it relates to disability, in constant negotiation. the body as an expression of medical transition, of self-determination, of choice. as a statement of how she wants to be seen, how she wants to navigate the world, and at the same time reckoning with the inevitable gap between an idealized self-image and a lived reality, especially after a long time spent believing that self-image could never be visible to anyone else.

it's critical to me that it should never imply hera's disability is 'fixed' by having a body, only that it enables her to interact with the world in ways she otherwise couldn't. her fears about returning to earth are about safety and ability; the form she exists in dictates the life she's allowed to lead and has allowed people to invade her privacy and make choices for her. dysphoria and disability both contribute to disembodiment - in an increasingly digitized world, the type of alienation that feels like your life can only exist in a virtual space... maybe there's something about the concept of AI embodiment, in particular as it relates to hera, that appeals to me because of what it challenges about what makes a 'real woman.' when it's about perception, about how others see her and how she might observe / be impacted by how she's treated differently, even subconsciously. it's about feeling more present in her life and interfacing with the world. but it's not in itself a becoming; it doesn't change how she's been shaped by her history or who she is as a person.

i think it comes back to the 'big picture' as a central antagonistic force in wolf 359, and how - in that context, in this story - it adds a weight to this hypothetical choice. hera is everywhere, and she's never really anywhere. she's got access to more knowledge than most people could imagine, but it's all theoretical or highly situational; she doesn't have the same life experiences as her peers. she has the capacity to understand that 'big picture' better than most people, but whatever greater portion of the universe she understands is nothing next to infinity and meaningless without connection and context. it's interesting to me that hera is one of the most self-focused and introspective people on the show. her loyalties and decisions are absolute, personal, emotionally driven. she's lonely; she always feels physically away from the others. she misremembers herself sitting at the table with the rest of the crew. she imagines what the ocean is like. there's nothing to say that hera having a body is the only solution for that, but i like what it represents, and i honestly believe it'd make her happier than the alternatives. if there's something to a symbolically narrowed focus that allows for a more solid sense of self... that maybe the way to make something of such a big, big universe is to find a tiny portion of it that's yours and hold onto it tight.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #idk. processing something. as always i have more to say but it's impossible to communicate all at once #it's a meaningful idea to me and i think there's a LOT more that can be done with it thematically than just. the assumption of normalcy #so much of hera's existence is about feeling trapped and that's only going to get worse on earth and within these two contexts #that's something i really feel for. especially with. mmm.#i don't like the idea that who hera is is tied to the way she exists because it seems to weirdly reinforce her own misconception #that there can never be another life for her.#and all of these things are specific to hera and to the themes of wolf 359 and NOT about AI characters in general #in other stories there are other considerations.#the best argument i can make against it is that she says getting visuals from one place is weird and she doesn't like it. but that's #a totally different situation where it's a further limitation of her ability without a trade off. it's a different consideration i think #when it allows her more freedom. to go somewhere and be completely alone by herself. to feel like she has more control and more privacy #to be able to hug her friends. or feel the rain. it would be one thing if she felt content existing 'differently'#but she... doesn't. canonically she doesn't. and i think that has to be taken into account.#i think you can tell a meaningful and positive story about disability without giving her physical form on earth too #but i think it has to be considered that those are limitations for her and that the way she exists feels isolating to her.#idk. a lot of the suggestions people come up with feel like they're coming from a place of compromise that i don't think is necessary #there are plenty of ways that having a body would be difficult for hera and i guess it's hopeful to me to think #maybe she'd still find it worth it.

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months

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I find it kind of silly that so many of those "time based life rule" sayings are like ~deep serious guidelines~ of some sort, but then there's that one other Well Known Rule that's just like "hrmm can I eat something off of the ground or not"

#the duality of human condition.. two biggest concerns in the modern era are attempts at self fulfilling productivity #and also 'if i drop my sandwich can i still eat it :('#Also while capitalism is often linked with/the source of hyper productivity culture - note that I do not mean the images in that context #'meaningful to you' does not have to mean 'productive within a capitalist system'. The point is not 'every waking hour of every day #must be spent in the most societally productive grinding mindset hyper efficency mode possible' but more like #if you've always wanted to learn french ever since you were a kid and you think it would be fulfilling to you (just because you like it #absent of any larger purpose like using it for a job/monetizing it somehow/etc.). and you've just spent like 5 hours straight on tiktok #or something mindlessly scrolling the internet. maybe someimtes it'd help for your own personal fulfillment in the long #run to try to - the next time you have 5 spare hours - work on learning french or something that is actually significant to you #as a person and that you'll be glad you worked towards. instead of weeks and weeks passing by and feeling you have nothing to show for it #or etc. AAANYWAY. The images/rules themselves are also NOT the main point of this post. More just the juxtaposition of them together #and the fact that 3 of them are serious seeming while one is so mundane it seems silly in comparison.#BUT even though they're not the main point . I still didn't want it to come across as if I was like promoting or buying into capitalist #productivity culture propaganda or etc. I don't find productivity tips like this inherently bad as long as they're kind of divorced from #those ideas. I think it's still important in life to have goals even if those goals exist outside of the typical expected framework.#I mean that's actually part of why a culture of chronically exhausted overworked deprived people is damaging because if you #'re forced to spend 85% of your waking time working at some job that is perosnally meaningless to you that brings you nothing that #youre only doing under threat of starvation and houselesness and etc. then of course you don't have much time for hobbies or things you car #about and of course you'll feel more aimless and personally unsatisfied and like life is not fulfilling or interesting.#Productivity and efficiency is GOOD actually. as long as it's able to be directed in ways that are actually meaingful to the community or #individual and bring some sort of feeling of fulfillment or progress or accomplishment and working towards a person's personal ideas #of happiness whatever those are. rather than just working away aimlessly so some guy you don't know can buy a 20th house or etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. lol.. Me overthinking things perhaps.. probably not as likely #that people see the silly little cat images and go 'WOW EVIL you must be a capitalist grind culture lover' like its pretty clear #thats not the point... but... just in case... lol.. I loooove to over clarify things that don't actually need clarification

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jaevy · 15 days

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your room was square

i once noticed from there

in your bed, as you slept

and i held my breath

everything had its own place

and i wondered what space would i take

in the order you kept

#in this drawing i wanted to use the song ‘Square’ by Mitski #personally i feel like this song is about being in love and trying far too hard to be the perfect lover that you are incapable of being #to me it’s like trying to see where you fit in that person’s life and not knowing where you belong in it #but then you’re still longing for that feeling of belonging there with them #so you self-destructively go to great lengths to ‘earn’ your place with them #i feel that the self-destructive behavior of trying to be that perfect lover just to ‘earn’ their love #is exactly the ‘burning’ that Mitski describes #it hurts trying to fit in but not quite succeeding again and again and again...#this is something that i think i relate to #trying far too hard to belong with someone who is 'only sometimes madly in love with me'#and says that i 'wouldn't be their first choice'#-that person kept switching between wanting me as a friend and a lover and now i am neither #and yet therein lies the problem: if i cared less and gave less effort #perhaps we could’ve worked things out without me trying too hard to “earn” their love #but why would i ever try to care less?#the situation was doomed from the start and i lost a friend in the process #i made this illustration to reflect that the best i could. I think the square motif was particularly obvious—#the canvas itself is a square and the illustration itself has to fit in a square box #everything else i drew would have to fit within this box to maintain the “order”#the colors are all some type of blue with not too much contrast except for the text eyes and teardrop on the figure #i wanted to keep contrast low within this illustration— everything should be “fitting in" after all #for the figure itself i wanted it to be clear that the figure is being forced into that square #its body’s being forced into that half of the box and even then its head is forced downwards #it’s clearly not fitting comfortably but it’s sure trying its hardest to #also also also!!! i wanted to do more angular shapes with this drawing because square and whatever lol :P #i don’t think i was particularly obvious in communicating that in the drawing though #but anyways i just wanted to draw to help process something that happened to me a while back :0 #i still think i love that person but just like how i don’t have a place in their life #i don’t think they have a place in mine and i think i’m starting to make peace with that :D #jaevyart

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orcelito · 5 months

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I love....... community 🥺

#speculation nation #i love sitting around in this fandom and chatting with people and just #feeling like an actual member of the community #ive got my server with its lovely people and i chat with artists and fellow fic writers and an assortment of other people #and it's just... so nice. drama free within my personal experience #just enjoying talking about interests with fellow fans.#it's refreshing! i feel like im actually part of the fandom!#didnt feel like that with p5. probably in part because of the fact that i had my blog hidden #but i just. really didnt like so much of the fandom either.#ive got my gripes with some corners of this fandom but i leave them be and they leave me be #and that's about all i can really ask for i suppose #this isnt brought on by much Specifically. im just like #well the sheer number of asks i got from that ask game is part of it. ive NEVER gotten that many for one before.#and chatting with artists 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and people liking my posts... and just #feels like im a part of this fandom rather than an outsider looking in. and that feels really nice.#i still wanna get back into analysis posts sometime bc i still have so much more to study about the manga #but for now i will continue puttering around with my writing. and every so often i will throw out offerings to my readers.#still working on today's thing. i just wanted to express this

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trans-cuchulainn · 1 year

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having complex feelings about gender stuff recently but i don't really know how to put it into words. some of it is about the self-erasure that becomes necessary when you try and talk about medical misogyny you've experienced as someone who isn't a woman but who is perceived by the world as one. some of it is about no longer feeling connected to female-centred stories of a kind you used to enjoy as a teenager because they always feel alienating but also not liking your own emotions about that because you should be able to enjoy stories that weren't written for you, it's just that they don't feel like stories that even allow space for you to exist in. but shouldn't men be able to enjoy women's stories too? but you're not a man. but you're not a woman. but the stories are about and for people who look like you but you're not one of them. but you would have been them if you lived in those worlds because nobody would have seen a difference, and that's viscerally uncomfortable, and impossible to enjoy--

and some of it is about looking for stories you could exist in and only finding stories that are profoundly unrelatable because they're only ever about characters who knew they were trans since puberty and had access to transition care in their teens and you didn't figure it out until adulthood and also that's not legally available in your country so that would never have been on the cards in the first place. or people who figured it out in adulthood but they're so certain and they're so ready to take risks and they'll change the world for a chance to become themselves because they know what they're aiming for. some of it is not being sure what you want but knowing you'll always have to be certain about it enough to fight for it because you're not going to get it any other way. some of it is not wanting to be an activist, not wanting to agitate, not wanting to have to resist every goddamn second bc you're just trying to exist in the world, but the only way anyone will ever give you a modicum of what you need is if you put all your energy into the struggle for it--

some of it is about feeling an ongoing tether to the experience of being a woman in a bad way but no tether to the experience in a good way and there's a weird kind of mourning in that, and a self denial, and an inability to reconcile your own contradictions in a way that feels comfortable. some of it is about feeling pressure to experience gender differently and to opt in to something else if you're going to opt out of what you were given but you don't want to do that either. and a lot of it is constantly self-policing your own emotions and thoughts and being convinced you're doing it all wrong somehow because you see other people being so free with their genderfuck, so unencumbered by expectations, so easily able to get it right for themselves and other people, and you're still misgendering yourself half the time in your mind because you don't even know what the right words would be at this point when you still have scars shaped like being a girl even though you're not a girl and you can't talk about them without doing yourself another piece of damage

like. i am who i am because i was thought a girl and maybe because i thought i was a girl and maybe i still don't understand why i'm not a girl but in my not-girlness i no longer feel i have any access to any kind of womanhood that doesn't hurt but i don't want to police myself out of femininity just because it isn't all that i am anymore

#spending too much time in spaces that are dominated by women and still treat womanhood as marginalised within that space #if you try to point out that as a transmasculine person you have no voice you are treated as an invading man #but nobody has ever seen me as a man. probably nobody will ever see me as a man. i do not have a man's privileges or advantages here.#and yet.#i don't know how to talk about any of this because i don't know what i'm trying to say #only that it feels sometimes like i would be more welcome in 'diverse' spaces if i were a woman #but it is the very fact that i am not a woman which is marginalising me the most a lot of the time #especially at the moment with all the violent media rhetoric and legislation #and when comparatively privileged cis abled white women are congratulating themselves on the diversity of their communities #and trans disabled people can't gain access to them. well.#(and not to mention PoC but that's not my place to speak from)#and then medical stuff. i have tried to talk about how i was misdiagnosed and ignored as a teenager #and people have literally to my face told me that's part of being a girl/woman #as if i hadn't just told them i'm trans. i'm not a girl just because i suffered from medical misogyny #don't add your violence on top of what was already done to me you absolute fucker #the only thing i share with women is the bad parts of how the world has treated me. i guess that's what i'm getting at #and that's a shitty thing to share and i don't want it anymore #personal #gender fuckery

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