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#because i feel that the gifs without the world wouldn't make much sense?
seonghrtz · 5 months
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teen!megumi ★ seeing you hurt is one of the things that has terrified megumi since he was a kid !
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Megumi has always loved you. Perhaps from the moment Gojo carried him to your house when he was younger. You were the mother figure he never had, the person he knew he could rely on in any situation, the person he didn't have to be mature with all the time. You were always his safe haven.
Megumi may not have known how to express his own feelings or how to verbally express his adoration for you ⸻ he wasn't like Gojo, who was always making declarations of love to you. Sometimes Megumi envied Gojo for the ease with which he could say 'I love you' to you. But it never seemed to matter to you whether Megumi expressed his adoration for you verbally or not, it wasn't necessary as you understood it through his actions. You knew Megumi like the back of your hand and he was eternally grateful for that.
That's why one of Megumi's worst nightmares was losing you.
If he lost you, what would become of him? How would he manage without your care? How would Megumi survive in this world without being able to hide in your arms?
So when Megumi saw your exhausted and bruised body being thrown across the battlefield, he felt his whole body tremble and a sense of despair consume him.
Desperate, Megumi ran towards you, leaving Itadori and Kugisaki to fight the curse. And when he saw you lying on the floor with your eyes closed, bruises all over your exposed skin and bright crimson blood dripping from your forehead and mouth, Megumi's legs went weak and he fell to his knees beside you. With trembling hands Megumi grabbed your shoulders and rocked you, hoping that you would open your eyes and say that everything was fine. But unfortunately this utopian fantasy didn't come true.
Maybe it was all just a dream. A nightmare of that night ⸻ the night you sacrificed yourself to save Megumi when he was still a child. And if it was just a nightmare, Megumi would wake up at any moment and run into your arms. You would hold him with such affection and love that he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears because he knew you were all right.
But Megumi didn't wake up.
And it wasn't a nightmare, it was reality.
Megumi's voice faltered and he held back his tears, you were there, in front of him, injured, on the verge of death, and he could do absolutely nothing, powerless in a critical situation.
"Hey, Fushiguro!" Yuji ran over to where Megumi was standing, "I think I'd better take Kamo-sensei to Shoko-san, Nobara's already called Kiyotaka-san.” The pink-haired boy looked at his friend and felt sad for him. Itadori had heard Megumi's story and how Gojo and Kamo had saved the little boy (and his sister) from the clutches of the Zenin clan. And Itadori also knew how much Megumi admired and loved the woman he called his mother, it was evident in his expression. "Come on, Fushiguro, we'd better go quickly if we don't want to lose her."
Without saying a word Megumi slipped his arms around your back and behind your knees and started to run with you in his arms to where the car was parked, waiting for the sorcerers.
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The corridor was dark and cold. Megumi was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, his head down, holding back his tears. He couldn't cry, he had to be strong ⸻ be strong for you. Megumi had to stay positive, Shoko would save you no matter what.
"It's going to be all right." Gojo's voice echoed through the silent corridor. Megumi raised his head and met his sensei's crystal blue orbs. "Y/n is one of the strongest sorceresses there is, she's seen worse.”
"It's my fault." Megumi's voice was deep, "It's my fault that she's in this situation..."
"Don't blame yourself Megumi. It wasn't your fault."
"I should have paid more attention and listened to her instructions."
"Situations like this happen all the time when you're a jujutsu sorcerer, don't blame yourself for something you couldn't do. And Y/n is fine, she'll be fine, I know my wife very well. And I also know that she would hate to see you get hurt on her watch, so don't blame yourself for giving her life to save you." Gojo's hand reached for Megumi's head, ruffling the boy's ebony locks. "You better go to your room, I'll call you when she wakes up."
"I don't want to go."
"Don't be stubborn. Y/n will make me sleep on the sofa if she finds out I've let you sleep in the hallway."
"That's your problem, I'm not going."
"Come on, Megumi! I thought we were past that stage." Gojo sat down beside Fushiguro. "Are you going to get the silent treatment now?" A short laugh escaped Gojo's lips when he noticed Megumi's lack of reaction. "Okay then…”
The next day, Megumi woke up to a conversation next to him. He noticed Gojo and Shoko talking outside the room you were in.
"Finally awake, Sleeping Beauty?" Gojo smiled in the direction of Megumi who got up from the floor and stretched slightly, "She wants to see you."
"Is Mom awake?" He asked hopefully.
"Go ahead, I'll be right back with breakfast." Gojo gave Megumi a light squeeze on the shoulder before leaving with Shoko.
With a little trepidation Megumi slowly opened the bedroom door and saw you lying on the bed in the corner of the room, close to the wall. With light, quiet steps, the boy walked to the edge of the bed and stood, watching you. You were clean, not a drop of blood running down your face, and the bandages on your wounds were clean too. You were well. You were alive.
"Megumi..." You spoke quietly and opened your eyes, startling the boy a little.
"Mom..." his voice was weak, surprised and relieved at the same time.
You raised your hand and brought it close to Megumi's face. The boy, who had expected you to stroke his cheek with your thumb, was surprised when you tugged at his ear.
"Mom!"
"I told you to stay out of danger, Fushiguro Megumi." You said seriously, but then stopped pulling on his ear and hugged him, "Thank you for saving me.”
"You scared me..."
"I'm sorry, my dear." You smiled and released Megumi from your embrace, "I wouldn't let you get hurt, not for a second time."
"I'm not a child, I can take care of myself." A pout formed on Megumi's lips.
"I know, I know." You laughed at the younger man's reaction, "And of course you know how to handle yourself, you're my son, but you'll always be my little boy.”
Without thinking, Megumi hugged you again. Sinking his face into the curve of your neck, he felt a motherly affection that he had never known until he met you, and he let the tears roll down his cheeks.
After all, you were his mother and he was your son.
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© SEONGHRTZ, 2023ㅤ⸻ㅤall rights reserved. please do not copy / steal / translate / modify any of my works !
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withlove-angel · 6 months
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How would they confess to you ?
(Luffy, sanji, zoro, Buggy, law)
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Luffy
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I think Luffy would be very straightforward with his confession, he wouldn't want to beat around the bush or cause any confusion. He would be very clear about his feelings for you and how much you mean to him. He might not be the most romantic person in the world but he would try his best to show you how much he cares about you and how important you are to him.
He might start by saying something like, "You know, I've been really enjoying our time together, and I have to say...I'm starting to fall for you!" Then, he might add, "Oh, who am I kidding, I've completely fallen for you! You're the only person who can make me smile like this and I never want that to go away." He might even end his confession with, "So, wanna be my treasure?"
Sanji
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Well, Sanji might not confess right away, but he might start with subtle hints. He might drop little compliments or flirt a lot more. He would also make an extra-special meal to impress you. Eventually, he might get up the courage to tell you how he feels, and he would say something like "You're so beautiful and kind, it's hard not to have a crush on you"
That's true! Sanji does like to flirt, but he's also very respectful of women and their boundaries. He wouldn't push if you said no, but he might be a bit... persistent... if you said maybe, or said you wanted to get to know him better before making a decision. He might ask you more questions about yourself and your interests, or try to impress you with his cooking or fighting skills. But he wouldn't force you into anything, even if he does really like you
"I love your smile, and your laugh. Your eyes sparkle like jewels and your hair is like the sun on a sunny day. You're strong and brave, and you don't let anything stop you. I want to be the person who makes you smile the most in the whole world. My heart is yours; will you please accept it?"
Zoro
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The way I envision it, he'd confess during a time of quiet, peace, and contemplation. He'd be hesitant, nervous, probably even a little awkward in his own way, but he'd do it without hesitation because it's what he's feeling. He'd want it to be genuine and sincere, and maybe it'd even be a spur-of-the-moment decision. If it's a more emotional moment, his swords might even be discarded to the side, as a symbolic gesture
*deep breath*" Oi. You know it's me, right? There's something I wanna get off my chest. It's not easy for me to put it into words. I don't know if I'm making sense... But here goes. I kinda like you- like like you. A lot. I think I've felt this way for a while now, but I haven't been able to say it. I know it's a lot to just say out loud, and it feels a bit... reckless. But I gotta just get it out. I like you."
Buggy
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Buggy likes to present himself as powerful and intimidating. But deep down he's just an insecure guy who worries about what others think of him. In a private setting with someone he trusts, I think Buggy would be a lot more honest and open about his feelings. But he would still do it his own way, maybe in a roundabout way without actually saying the words "I love you".
I think Buggy would be very loyal and protective in a relationship, and he'd make sure that his partner knows that he values their connection deeply.
He would be careful not to say anything overly cheesy or melodramatic. He might try to lighten the mood with a joke, or compliment you in a way that makes you feel special and important to him. He would probably try to impress you with his strength and courage, and show off his abilities as a fighter and leader.
He would probably also be quite thoughtful and sweet, and show that he really cares about your well-being and happiness. But he wouldn't want to be too vulnerable or emotional, so he would likely try to keep things light and playful.
"So.. I.. err.. *cough* you're the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever met. (Turns all red) *cough* I mean... err... you're not too bad I guess. (Tries to smile) Wanna.. err.. be my partner.. I mean... umm... *cough* wanna be my romantic partner? Yeah, that's it. *cough* That was a joke, right? Right?"
Law
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Law is the type to give subtle hints that he likes someone while keeping his feelings under wraps. If you like him too, you'd probably have to make a move first. He's the type to deny his feelings until the moment they're expressed. He has a hard time displaying his emotions, although he's quite a warm person internally.
If you confess he would probably be stunned at first. He wouldn't expect this to happen. However, once he processes what's occurred, he would probably say something along the lines of "Oh... hmm. Is that so?" His expression would definitely display his surprised and potentially pleased state. Though, he'll probably keep his answer brief and ambiguous. But the slightly blush and smirk on his face dont lie...
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sourbinnie · 9 months
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☆ regrets & replacements ☆ (2)
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> maknae line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> it's not about making up, it's about owning up to your mistakes. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
a/n -> like i said in the hyung line ending this ain't a happy or a sad ending, this is more of a mix of both and i would say it's more neutral. i really feel like i didn't nail it but i'm gonna publish it anyways because i don't know if i can write it any other way. thank you for following this scenario! it means a lot to me the love that this one got in particular.
first part -> maknae line
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jisung ✉
as you got home you were faced with a lot of doubt in your mind. why didn't you tell him that it was your birthday? why didn't he remember? were you just that forgettable? did he just care more about soohee than you? was it always going to be like this? it hurt, it really did. i mean you knew jisung had a tendency to forget everything but it felt like that didn't happen when it came to soohee.
minho was blowing up your phone but you couldn't seem to pick it up. you weren't ready to talk about anything at the moment, you just wanted to cry and that you did. it was as if the tears wouldn't stop falling from your eyes as you thought that maybe this would be the end. you just never seemed to be the priority and when you saw the door opening you weren't surprised but still felt like wanting to be alone.
"baby, baby, baby! i'm so fucking sorry. i cancelled everything that i was gonna do and i'm here now." jisung rambled as he was going around your apartment but you didn't move. you couldn't look at him because you weren't sure of what to say and you felt like you couldn't talk without breaking down and crying in front of him. jisung noticed and felt like crying himself as he took in everything. "(y/n) i'll make it right, i know i was an idiot and forgot but i need another chance."
"it's not about forgetting sung." you said which caught him off guard. this was more serious wasn't it? he was in deep trouble, he could sense it and it was scaring the living hell out of him. "you put her first again, you always do this. i just wanna feel like your partner but i sometimes feel as if she was dating you and not me."
"don't fucking say that. i only want you and she's just a friend, well was a friend because i don't want her in my life if she doesn't like you." he explained and you never wanted this. even if it hurt that she didn't like you, you never wanted to be the type of significant other that would dictate who your boyfriend could and couldn't hang out with. "i care about you, it's only you i want at the end of the day."
"i think i need some time, baby. we're not over but i just don't know how to feel right now." you said and he nodded as he heard your words. he wanted for you to be okay and that was his priority right now, nothing else. 
"can i at least take you out for your birthday? i know minho planned something." he said as he removed the tears from your cheeks. you gave him a little smile because he was about to cry at any moment too and couldn't resist hugging him. "i'm such a cry baby when it comes to you."
"i know, i love you like this though." you mumbled and let him sob in your arms for a while as you held him. you knew in the end though that things would be okay if you worked them out together.
felix ✉
looking at the clock in the kitchen was the way you were spending your time. your birthday was almost over and there was still no felix in sight. you sighed to yourself, there were no more tears to fall, it was just you and your numbness against the world. you didn't go out and celebrate, you didn't buy a cake or a present to yourself because there was no point if you felt completely destroyed.
to others it might seem a little too much but to you it was a big deal. you wanted to talk to someone about how you felt and how it was taking a toll on you mentally but when you looked at your phone and saw that background of felix smiling and holding you close, you had to shut it off again.
"(y/n)? can you please open the door? i forgot the key." his voice said through the other side and this was beyond what you wanted. you couldn't have this conversation right now but you knew you would have to because you couldn't avoid it forever. you opened the door to be met by a very distraught looking felix, his hair was messy and he was panting like he ran a marathon all the way to your house. his eyes were glassy as he looked at you and you just let him in.
"lix i would never ask this in other circumstances but why are you here?" you asked in a low tone and it hurt felix so much to see you this way. his usually bright and sparkled eyed partner was looking down and not being able to hold their gaze to meet him. your voice sounded broken like you've been crying for hours and it was all his fault. he wouldn't blame you if you didn't forgive him this time.
"i-i had to see you. i know how much i fucked up this time and i know how you feel about her, how you've always felt and i took it for granted." he said and the more you heard the more it hurt. "but i care way more about having you than maintaining a toxic friendship with someone who didn't respect my partner and i know it might be too late, i'm sorry (y/n). not only did i miss your birthday, i missed getting to see you smile, i missed getting you the presents, i missed going out with you and the people who actually care about me and i'm so deeply sorry."
it was as if he was losing himself as he spoke, you couldn't stand seeing that. it was going to be hard getting through this and being able to be okay with felix again. this was not about getting a present or remembering a date on a calendar, it was about trust and you knew that even after all, you trusted felix with your whole life.
"lix i love you, i really do. i feel like it's all too much right now and i just wanna go to sleep but i would love to try again tomorrow. maybe take me out and we can talk?" you offered as you got close to him, grabbing his cold hands and seeing him nod. "slow steps for now baby but i know we'll get through it."
"slow steps." he repeated and looked at you, finally eye to eye. he gave you a warm smile that you adored so much and then leaned in to kiss your cheek. it never failed to make you smile as well and that's all you needed as the clock struck midnight.
seungmin ✉
waking up all alone today felt dreadful. the excitement from yesterday was all gone when you remembered how you decided to spend your birthday and as you checked your phone and there was still no sign from seungmin, you gave up. you were going to try to continue with your day and not think about your boyfriend, soohee or anything negative that could ruin your mood immediately. but when you looked at your phone again, you had almost a spam level of messages from jeongin telling you to come over.
you knew what this was about (or you hoped). a certain part of you wanted to stay away from the dorms and not think about seeing seungmin but the other part that was louder knew you had to go and give him a chance to speak. you put on your shoes and grabbed your things to head to the dorms as you thought of the conversation you were about to have with your boyfriend.
he was waiting impatiently for you to arrive and when you did, jeongin opened the door and greeted you with a hug. it broke his heart when you didn't greet him the same way or with a kiss but he knew he deserved it after all that happened yesterday. you were both standing there, waiting for the other to speak and it was really heavy on his chest the fact that it didn't feel natural like it always has.
"okay why did you make me come here? even though you didn't text, it was jeongin who did." you said breaking the silence and he felt like a coward, everything was building itself up to be the last time you two ever meet didn't it? it was killing him. he couldn't lose you, no he wouldn't lose you.
"i knew that if i texted you, you would've ignored me. that's what i felt was going to happen." he explained and he was kind of right but you still wanted him to tell you something, hearing nothing from him made you doubt everything even more. "i feel like the biggest idiot on the planet right now. not only i didn't spend your birthday with you, i just simply disappeared and i couldn't even send a message."
"well i'm glad you're realizing this now but i just wanna know seungmin if you care about this relationship. i know it might sound like i'm exaggerating but i feel so hurt by what happened that it makes me just doubt everything. i want to be with you but do you want to be with me?" you asked and seungmin wasn't one to cry at all but this ticked all the boxes to making him feel like the worst boyfriend ever. 
"i want to be with you forever (y/n). there's no one else for me and i know you're asking because of soohee. she doesn't mean anything to me like that and if you want me to cut off ties with her, i will." he said confidently even if he felt the tears building up which he wiped them away immediately. you had never seen him cry and he didn't want to look weak or like he didn't mean the things he was saying in front of you. this image of seungmin showing his emotions was new to you but it felt real and honest.
"i don't want you to do anything because i told you to or you feel like it would make me feel better, you know? i just want you to be happy minnie. i was devastated with what happened yesterday and i can't say that forgiving you is gonna be easy." you explained and he felt a sob coming through because you were just so fucking caring and he couldn't even process why you were giving him a second chance. he caught the distance by hugging you because he couldn't take the coldness anymore, he wanted to feel you close and as you held him, you knew you couldn't be far away from him either.
"i know today is not your birthday but i'll make you remember everything about this day like it was if you let me baby." he muttered in your arms and you didn't have to say anything because you trusted his word. you weren't even thinking about your birthday, just how you and him fit like puzzle pieces when you held each other like that.
jeongin ✉
as you got home, you dropped all your things on your couch and noticed immediately that jeongin's things were already there. so you weren't gonna be able to avoid him after all you thought because right now all you wanted was to go to sleep and absolutely forget about everything that you went through tonight. just thinking about the fact that your boyfriend was with someone else when he planned the reservation and also the fact that she picked up his phone for him was unforgivable.
you could hear the key at the door and then faced that way to see your boyfriend standing there with so many things that your first instinct was to help him out. you hated yourself for being so nice sometimes but it was impossible not to be kind to jeongin even if he was on thin ice right now. he looked at you and could see the mad expression you were giving him, of course he deserved it.
"(y/n)? you probably hate to see me here but we need to talk." he said and you didn't respond because you felt like crying all over again just seeing him there. you put the cake that he bought in the kitchen and the presents on the coffee table, not even glancing at them because you couldn't care less about rushed last minute gifts that went no thought into them. "please, i know you hate me right now but i can't stand us being distant to each other and not hearing your voice."
"jeongin." you said and it went through him like a knife because he wasn't used to his full name. he looked at you and saw the tears that he feared so much, he promised you so many times he wouldn't be the cause of them and here you were. "i don't even know what to say. you forgot yeah, i can't get past that and i wouldn't be so mad if you weren't hanging out with someone who hates me in every way and you let her pick up your phone! it just feels like she's more your partner than i am sometimes."
"no, not at all. i won't ever be with her and i don't want to be with her." he said looking at you and getting closer, you didn't take a step back because even if you were fuming you just wanted to be held by him. "you're the only one for me and that won't ever change even if tonight i let you down, even if you make me leave right now, i won't want anyone that's not you." 
"you just made me feel so humiliated there all alone." you said and he nodded trying to not make the mental image of you waiting for him in the restaurant but he failed to because that's all he could think about when he was coming to your apartment. "i don't know if we'll able to fix this."
"i want you. scratch that, i need you (y/n)." he begged and you knew that you needed him too. his tears were falling softly but you wiped them off because seeing him upset was a sight that drove you insane. it was a mix of emotions for you and for him right now, a roller coaster that didn't stop. he couldn't stop looking at you, he needed a sign that this could be fixed and that you would be alright but he couldn't find any.
"give me some time to think yeah? i promise nothing bad is gonna happen and i just need it to process everything." you said and it was finally settled. he was desperate to make this right again and he would but he needed to respect your decision and that's what he would do.
"can i kiss you?" he asked and you were hesitant but still nodded. his hand on your cheek as he leaned in closer to seal the end of the day with a little kiss, nothing too passionate but it was just right for that moment as he pulled away. you looked at him and hoped everything would turn out right in the end but with jeongin holding you, there were no more doubts in your mind.
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not-magdi · 4 months
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"Us, Forever"
Summary: Pablo can't believe how lucky he got with you, he really can't believe it 
Word Count: 1.1k
A/N
I managed to get Corona! The one time I would have had time to write something I got Corona and a Fever that cooked my brain. But, now my test is negative again and my brain is producing ideas like crazy! 
Hope you like this one though,
Love you guys Magdi <3
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You didn't know what to think when you saw his pain-filled expression on TV. You sat there, completely frozen, worry the only thing on your mind.   
When you heard his sobs over the phone as he told you how bad it was, your heart shattered into a million pieces. That day made you realise that from that moment on, you had to be the strong one in this relationship. 
It made you realise that he needed you to be the one he could lean on, the one Pablo could let his guard down, somebody that could be strong for him too. So he didn't have to be all the time. 
You made it to your mission to do everything in your power to help him in any way possible. You rebuilt your living room into a bedroom, so he didn't have to go up any stairs. You held him day and night when the pain got too strong, and the only thing he could do was cry. 
"Baby, I'm here ... I'm here for you. Let it all out I got you."
His grip on your hoddie was so hard that his knuckles turned white. You wrapped your arms around him like you wanted to protect him from everything terrible that this world threw at him. 
Pablo felt safe in your arms. Your sent calmed him down. The warmth of your body engulfed him in a comforting manner. 
He buried his face deeper into your neck as he felt his breath starting to slow down again. 
"T-Thank you, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."
You grabbed his head to make him look at you. You assured him, "Hey, it's completely ok to feel like shit sometimes. What you are going through is nothing easy. Sometimes you just have to let it all out." 
Kissing his head, you stand up to grab something to eat for the two of you. Seeing that it was already 6 in the morning, you decided to start the day, knowing you two wouldn't fall asleep anymore. 
Pablo kept lying on the couch. The pain in his knee was now only a dull ache. He sat up a bit to be able to see you rummaging through his kitchen drawers, trying to find something to eat.
An unconscious smile makes its way onto his face. He can't get his head around how you are willing to do all of this for him. Like he really doesn't know what he would do without you. You'd do everything for him, he doesn't even have to ask for it. 
But it scared him that you wanted to help him so much. It frightened him that one day, you could wake up and realise how much work it was to be in a relationship with him. And that you would leave him because of that.
Realistically, something like that would never happen, but he was a chronicle overthinker, so let him be. 
When you came back from the kitchen with two plates in your hand, you sensed something was bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you on his own. 
You two ate your breakfast in silence, it was a weird kind of silence. You felt that Pablo wanted to tell you something the whole time, but nothing came. He just sat there and played around with his food. 
"You not hungry?" 
Looking like a child who got caught doing something stupid, he shakes his head and lowers his gaze again, not able to hold eye contact with you for so long. 
Thinking he wouldn't say anything at all. You were about to say something when you heard him say. "How do you do it?" 
Confused, you look at him. "What do you mean?" 
"I mean, like ... like how do you keep up with me?" 
Your confusion didn't get any better. You looked up from your plate and saw Pablo already staring at you, a curious yet slightly sad expression on his face. 
Pablo noticed your confused expression and continued to talk. 
" I mean, how can you keep up with literally having to be my server? You are cancelling your plans to stay home with me and do everything to keep me comfortable. You put my life before yours. Why do you do that? I-I don't understand. "
You loved him deeply and didn't see your efforts as a burden. It was natural for you to do what you could to help him. You couldn't enjoy yourself while he was suffering because it felt wrong to you.
Your silence made Pablo panic a bit, maybe he made you realise that you didn't want to live like that. What if you were actually sick of him needing care 24/7 now? 
Your voice interrupted his inner monologue, " I have no clue, to be honest. It's just - the second I heard you were injured, I felt like I had to take care of you, to help you somehow." 
You took a second to think of your following words. "When I heard you crying on the phone that day, I just felt the need to protect you, to take care of you. I know that you are a capable individual who can handle things on your own, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. When you care about someone deeply, it's natural to want to do everything in your power to ensure their well-being. So, even though I trust your abilities, I just want to remind you that I'm here for you if you ever need help or support. Your happiness and safety mean everything to me, and I'll always do my best to make sure you're feeling okay."
Hearing Pablo sniff made you stop your rambling and look at him. 
"Dios mio, these medications make me emotional." 
Pablo let out a wet chuckle as he wiped his tearing eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. 
You smiled at the boy before you and leaned down to place a kiss on his red nose. "I don't care, I love you one tear more or less isn't gonna change that."
"I love you too, so so much." 
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lovsalvatore · 1 year
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You’re a mess
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
Summary: Natasha tries to tell herself that she’s not jealous, but it's obvious that's the way she feels while looking at you talking to your friend across the room.
Warnings: +18, Minors DNI! smut, Nat has a penis, unprotected sex, bathroom sex, breeding kink, degradation, praising, hair pulling, spanking if you squint, age gap, infidelity, no aftercare as usual lol, fingering, a bit of edging, marking, choking, rough sex, jealousy and possessiveness.
Word count: 6.5k
a/n: after 3 weeks… here u (finally) go ✰ series masterlist, main masterlist
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Natasha tries to pay attention to whatever her wife is saying in front of her, but the way your friend touches your shoulder and sits so close to you distracts her. You haven't noticed yet, but she's been looking at you all night.
Tonight's performance — the one in which you've been rehearsing for weeks — was simply amazing, your first time being a soloist couldn't have been better. However, the absence of your parents in the audience made you a little upset, but you're already used to it, and with all the applause at the end you felt for the first time that you didn't need their approval to do what you like. You just felt proud of yourself, knowing that you can play such a difficult piece so easily, and even better, for hundreds of people and without missing a note.
And of course, there's her. The look she gave you when the last note of the symphony was played is something you want to keep with you for a lifetime. She was also proud, and that's enough for your heart to warm even more with all these emotions you've been feeling lately. Emotions that Natasha feels too, but in a very different way.
As a tradition, every time there's a big orchestra event there's also a celebration dinner, and today was no different. You're sitting on a sofa in the house of one of the producers of tonight's event, listening to your friend chatter about all the tourist attractions she wants to visit during tour.
Meanwhile on the other side of the room, the Maestro is trying not to break the glass of champagne she's holding in one hand, watching you smile at a girl other than her. She's trying to tell herself that she's not jealous, that wouldn't make any sense. But it's a fact that she's hating every second of this interaction between you and your friend. Kate. If she'd known you were that close, she wouldn't have put the violinist's name on the list. She thought you were just friends for convenience, not that outside the auditorium you had a friendship too. She thinks about how you're going to travel the world together, and that the plans she had with you might be interrupted because of your friend. She could even take Bishop's name off the list, but now it's too late, and she knows you wouldn't forgive her for that.
"Natasha?" the redhead takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes for a few seconds before turning her attention back to her wife. This is the first time Maria has appeared at one of the celebratory dinners, and everyone seemed surprised to finally see Natasha's wife. Because she rarely wears a wedding ring, there are people who didn't even know she was married, Maria noticed all the stares and whispers her way, but she decided to ignore it. "Did you hear what I just said?" the brunette asks with worried eyes.
"Hm? What?"
"My god, where did you go?" she giggles, but her wife remains serious, looking your way again and noticing that this time you're the one with your hand on your friend's thigh. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you have to put your hand there? Can't you keep a distance while talking? The Maestro clenches her jaw, starting to get annoyed by it all. She's been holding back for weeks now, trying not to get too close to you so she doesn't end up doing something stupid in front of everyone, she was planning to be with you again only when you guys were far away from this country as it would be safer — not that she minds that much — but she's starting to think that waiting that long isn't the best idea. "I said I think I'm gonna go, I'm kind of nauseous."
That's enough for Natasha to pay all her attention to her wife. "What? Do you want me to take you home?" she's worried, she really is, it's her wife after all. "Did you eat something that made you feel sick? Did you drink something?"
Maria smiles when she sees her wife's concern, and thinks that the Maestro could be like this all hours of the day if she weren't such a busy woman. "Oh no darling, I'm fine, I think it's just tiredness." Natasha nods, but her worry doesn't completely evaporate. "And I'll ask Martin to come get me, I don't want you to leave without even eating the dinner they cooked just for you."
"It's not just for me..."
"Still, you're the conductor, you play the most important role in the orchestra, I'm sure they'll want you to stay even after dessert."
Natasha smiles weakly, and nods her head again. For a few seconds she just focuses on her wife's well-being. They've been married for four years now, not a long time, but not recent either. They've been through a lot together, and even though the marriage is good at times, most of the time they're yelling and throwing all sorts of curse words at each other. Yet, the Maestro sometimes feels bad knowing she's cheating, but it's happened so many times over the years that the guilt just seems to not be a problem for her anymore. She knows it's wrong and she also knows her wife isn't the most faithful woman in the world either, so that makes things less worse. She thinks about what it would be like if she tried to fix her marriage, try to make it work, but as soon as Maria says goodbye with a quick kiss on her lips, and finally walks out the front door, those green eyes end up landing on you again, and she realizes that even if she wanted to she wouldn't be able to stop wanting you. She's fucked, she knows it, but unfortunately for her she's not tired of you yet.
You're laughing out loud at something Kate said, resting your forehead on her shoulder as you try to wipe away the happy tears. Natasha just stares, waiting for you to notice. And that nagging feeling in her chest just grows by the second watching you look so happy without her.
"We could even go to the Eiffel Tower, but everyone goes there, we have to be different from the others, don't you think?" you just nod, trying to forget about the joke your friend told you a few seconds ago, and straighten up on the couch. "But like, if you want to go..."
"I mean, I always wanted to go there to be honest." you look at your phone screen, seeing images of the various places you two can visit in France. It has many interesting museums and beautiful parks. You also think about where you're gonna get the money to be able to do all the things you want during this tour, you expect your parents to support you at least in that. "Hmmm... there's this museum-." you start to speak but frown your eyebrows when you see a message from Natasha appear at the top of the screen. She hasn't texted you since you two exchanged phone numbers a few days ago, you thought she would never send you anything, you're not complaining either.
Maestro: Need to talk to you.
You lift your face trying to look for her among the other guests, and it doesn't take long for you to spot her across the room, already staring at you. You can tell just by looking at her that something is wrong, or at least that something is bothering her. Her gaze shifts quickly to your friend sitting next to you, and for a moment you think that might be it, but of course she's not jealous of you, right? You, on the other hand, couldn't contain that feeling when you saw her wife walk through the front door. You know it's pointless to be jealous of the woman she's literally married to, but you can't help but wish you were in her shoes.
Noticing your delay in responding, Natasha just sends you one more message, telling you that it's really important, and without wanting to keep her waiting, you just excuse yourself to Kate, saying you have an important call to take. As you make your way down whatever hall Natasha is taking you, you pray that this conversation won't take too long, that you'll still have time to eat the dinner they're serving later. Adjusting the hem of your dress you start to feel a little nervous when she stops in front of a door, one of the last in the hall, before grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into a bathroom.
It's completely dark for a few seconds before the Maestro locks the door and turns on the lights. You lean your body against the wall, waiting for her to start saying something, but she stays in complete silence, staring into everything but your eyes. She hates herself for being like this, she doesn't understand why she can't say what she's feeling. Natasha doesn't want to see you smiling at other girls, but she also doesn't want to admit that she was uncomfortable watching your interaction with Kate.
She doesn't want you to know about this effect you have on her, an effect that even she doesn't fully understand yet. The silence starts to get awkward, and you wish you had the courage to do something, say something, touch her, especially make her feel good since you know that's probably what she wants right now, but you can't do it without her having the initiative. She plays with the lapel of her suit, feeling her heart pounding with all the thoughts she's having right now. She wants to curse you out for sitting so close to your friend, she wants to show you how much she hates the fact that you make her feel this way. But she can't find the right words without her sounding like an obsessed madwoman.
But if she knew that's really all you want to hear, she'd probably say it without a second thought. You want her to show how much she wants you in words, but as proud and selfish as Natasha is, she might never say out loud how she really feels. "So... are you gonna say something or..." you say in a low tone, and seem to try to sink even deeper into the wall behind you when she takes a step forward. She's looking down at your exposed legs as she takes off the top of her suit before throwing it on top of the toilet. She's angry, and she knows that talking about it would be better, but she thinks it's easier to show it with actions. "I..." you swallow hard, feeling her delicate fingers brush over your thigh. "You... I thought you-."
"Shut up."
The words come in a whisper from her lips before you feel them on your neck. She wants to mark you, she needs to know that when others look at you, they'll know that you already have someone. Even knowing that you're not exclusively hers, she kinda feels that way, for her no one but her deserves to touch you, and it may be hypocritical of her to think that way when she literally has a wife, but she doesn't care. Her hand starts to move up between your legs as she moves her mouth to your sweet spot, sucking on your skin with the intention of leaving a mark there. It feels good, but then you remember the way she was looking at you and how something is bothering her, you would even try to talk but you never talk about anything when you're alone, and it's also hard to formulate words when she sucks so hard on your neck, throwing every possible shiver down your spine. "Nat-." you try to push her away realising what she's doing, but she just presses her body even harder against yours, moving her face to the other side of your neck.
Natasha closes her eyes as she works her lips on your skin, marking you without even caring if you would want this or not. She's just thinking about what she wants now, how obsessed she is with your body, and how she wants it to be full of marks made by her. She gets lost in the way your perfume invades all her senses, lifting her hand high enough to get it playing with the lace of your underwear. "I want you." she whispers softly against your neck, trying to tell herself that that's all it is, that she just wants you, not that she needs you. You have to close your eyes tightly as she sucks your skin hard, grinding lightly against your leg for you to feel how hard she already is for you. "Are you gonna let me play with you for a bit, hm?" you're already a mess before you nod, feeling her stop sucking the skin on your neck to just spread kisses, moving up to your jaw, to your cheek, until she pulls away to look into your eyes.
It's strange how her gaze can change so much from one moment to the next, and how each one of them makes you feel something different. You start to remember all the times she looked at you like this even before the first time you were together, and you wonder if she always looked at you with ulterior motives. You feel small around her, and you think that feeling of inferiority you have in relation to her will never go away, but that is not a problem for you either, you even like it.
Biting your bottom lip hard and looking down as she starts circling your clit through your underwear, being able to feel the way your wetness spreads over the fabric. You love the way she doesn't even have to look to know the right place to touch you, knowing that either way she's always gonna take a reaction from you. You don't want to take too long not to look suspicious, but you know you won't be able to stop yourself once she starts. You keep looking down, noticing the bulge that starts to appear in her pants, arching your back in anticipation, but then you feel her fingers squeezing your jaw, making you look at her again. "Eyes on me." she says, wanting you to see that the only one who can make you feel this way is her, she wants you to see the desire she has for you, knowing very well that you feel for her too.
She starts by slowly sliding the fabric of your underwear to the side before you finally feel her fingertip teasing your entrance. She groans at how wet you are, and that only makes you even more aroused. You exhale heavily as she rubs her finger across your slits a few times until reaches your clit, her cold fingertips bringing you to literally heaven. "I love how wet you always are for me." she admits, making slow movements while all you can do is just look into her eyes. She wants to tell you that she doesn't want to see you with anyone else but her, only her can make you feel this good, she also needs to hear you saying it, she needs to be sure of that, or else she'll start going crazy. "You're always so needy." she laughs dryly, putting more pressure and speed on your bundle of nerves. You press your lips together, resting your head against the wall behind you, finding it increasingly difficult to keep looking at her. "Tell me, can anyone else make you feel this way hm?"
You immediately shake your head from side to side, thinking she already knew the answer without even having to ask you. Like, who else could? She was your first, and right now you're not attracted to anyone but her. "Only you." you reply in a breathy voice, gripping her shoulder and unable to contain a moan when she surprises you by sliding two fingers inside you. It really feels like you'll never get used to it, the pleasurable pain whenever you have her inside you is a feeling you can never seem to get enough of. "Fuck Nat-." she lets go of your jaw to press her palm against your mouth, not waiting a second to start fucking her fingers fast into you.
"Shhh, don't make too much noise." even though she would love for everyone to hear how good she makes you feel, she knows the timing isn't the best for her to let that happen. "You'll be nice and quiet for me okay?" you just try to nod your head, the heat starting to build each second with her so close to you, and her fingers feeling so good in your cunt. The way your walls squeeze her fingers just makes Natasha even harder, something her wife can never do that easily. The only way she's been able to have sex with the woman she's been married to for four years is by thinking about you, she wasn't lying when she admitted it to you. And it's not like her sex life with her wife is very active, she always ends up just touching herself thinking about you, and how she didn't want you to be the only person she thinks about at times like that. But that's what happens, and she can't do anything to get you out of her head.
You whimper against her hand, moving your hips forward to match her movements. The way her pupils dilate when looking at you just makes you even more mesmerized by her green eyes, and how you think about them almost every hour of your day. She just really knows how to make you feel like you're in another planet by using literally anything, any way she touches you makes you feel inexplicable things. You feel her pumping her fingers into your cunt, and how her palm slams against your clit with her every movement. You want to move your hand from her shoulder and slide down her body until it stops at the bulge you can feel against your thigh, but instead you just dig your fingernails on her skin, the fire in your abdomen growing by the second with an embarrassing speed
Her cheeks are flushed as her gaze locks on the expressions you make for her, pushing her fingers inside you down to her knuckles. She keeps her movement fast, increasing the pressure of her hand against your mouth every time she senses you're about to moan loudly. "Fuck." she groans at the wet noises, wanting to be inside you so badly, wanting to ruin you like she always does. The Maestro feels her cock pulsing inside her pants, and it’s good but very uncomfortable at the same time, while you roll your eyes, feeling her curl her fingers upward, hitting your weakest spot and bringing you incredibly close to the edge.
“Fuck… I love your pussy.” she gasps and brings her face down to your neck again, leaving nothing but light kisses. “I just love how tight you are and how you clench around me… so fucking hot.” she presses her thumb against your clit as she continues to sink her fingers into you, smiling at the way your sounds are muffled by her hand.
It really takes moments for you to feel the bones in your body losing strength, the way her gaze burns into you leaving your head totally empty. "Hm- Nat-." you mutter against her hand, holding her wrist to slow her movements down a bit, but that's no use, you know if she wants to slow down, she's the one who's going to make the decision, and you're already so close that you actually don't really want her to stop now, your mind is just all blurred that you don't even know what you're doing anymore. It's even getting hard to breathe, but you try to hold it for a few more seconds, something that's practically impossible to do.
She decides to leave one last mark on your neck, flicking her tongue at your pulse point slowly. You're hers, that's what she means when she again pulls away, seeing the red and purple marks on your skin. “You look so beautiful like this.” she wants to push your hair back so she can see her work better, but instead she just keeps stifling your moans, pulling her fingers in and out of your pussy feeling your juices wetting most of her hand. “So fucking pretty for me detka.”
Natasha notices how you start breathing harder through your nose, squeezing her shoulder tightly and moving your hips forward. So she just keeps going until she feels like you're almost there, she feels the heat spreading through her body as it spreads into yours, but as soon as you're ready to come all around her fingers she quickly stops, leaving you totally frustrated and wanting more. She wants to laugh at your disappointed expression, knowing she can do whatever she wants to you, and in the end you'll still thank her for it. "Aww, did I ruin your fun baby?" she smiles, taking her hand away from your mouth, and you finally manage to take a deep breath, feeling her slowly slide her fingers out of your pussy. It's as if she intentionally wants to tease you when she roams her fingers through your folds, avoiding touching your clit as much as possible. She spreads your slits, teasing your entrance and watching as you try to move your hips to get more of her. "Sorry... it's just... I want to have a bit of fun too, you know?"
She looks at you with a pitying look, and when you realize she's going to walk away, you hold her by the shoulder, not wanting her to stop touching you. It just feels so good, and you're practically begging her to let you come. "Oh detka, you're so cute." she gives a sardonic chuckle, finally pulling her fingers away from you and leaving you completely craving for more. Your clit is throbbing, and the emptiness that remains is screaming to be filled again. Taking a few steps back she unbuttoned a few buttons of her white shirt before rolling up her sleeves. You're still leaning against the wall, breathing hard as you watch her lean against the sink. Your eyes get lost in the way only a bit of her chest is shown, and how her skin shines with sweat.
"Come here, why don't you help me with this hm?" she says as she grabs her cock over her pants, you follow the action with your eyes, seeing her fingers still glistening with your wetness. Natasha looks with pride at all the marks she left on you, wishing there were even more, she doesn't know where all this possessiveness came from, but she's not willing to change her mind about the fact that she thinks you're just hers. You flash an innocent smile before taking a few steps towards the Maestro — feeling like you could trip any second because of how your legs shake just from the bit of what she already gave you — replacing her hand with yours over the hard bulge.
She sighs and throws her head back when you gently squeeze her cock, playing with it a bit before moving to the zipper of her pants. Natasha just stares as you pull her shaft out, pressing your thumb into the tip and feeling her pre-cum wetting your fingertip. Her size feels even bigger when you close your hand around her thickness, your whole body reacts just by looking at it, and how much you love when she's using you to relieve herself. You're so needy because she didn't let you come seconds ago that you just want her to use you as soon as possible, you've stopped caring if people will think it's weird that you two disappeared out of nowhere, all you need now is her. When you're about to stroke her length, Natasha holds onto your wrist, and you don't have time to ask her what's wrong before she changes your positions, pressing your front against the sink, while standing behind you, moving the hem of your dress to the height of your hips.
You can see it in the mirror's reflection as she looks down at your body, and you try to prepare for what's about to come before you feel her entering you all at once. Maybe you'll never get used to her size, or maybe it's normal and it will still take time for you to be able to take it without feeling any pain. All you can do is grip the edge of the sink as you struggle to stay upright, feeling every inch of her stretching your cunt. "Oh fuck-." it comes out louder than you wanted, and as expected Natasha goes back to pressing her palm against your mouth while keeping her hips still, just feeling the way your walls tighten around her, and how good she feels inside you.
"Shhh, what the fuck did I ask you huh?" you whine quietly as she moves her hips back, only to move them forward again with a force that seems to make all the walls shake. You're just a squirming mess, not being able to look at her in the mirror's reflection as you feel her body heat burn you inside out. Your breath is already hitching by the time you feel your wetness run down your thighs, while Natasha stays still for a few seconds, before again letting just the tip inside your tight hole, this time using her hand to push your hips back, making you feel her cock entering you all at once again. You grunt against her mouth, but she wants to see you struggling to keep quiet, she wants to see you trying without her help. "I'm gonna put my hand down now okay? But you'll remain quiet, or else I'll have to stop."
She actually lowers her hand to your neck, tightening her fingers around your throat as she finally starts to move inside you. You have to concentrate really hard not to make any noise, gripping the edge of the sink so hard it feels like you're gonna break it at any moment. "Oh look at you." the Maestro says in a husky voice close to your ear, each time your hips meet making a loud noise echo in the bathroom. "You always take me so good, don't you?" her hand goes up a bit on your neck to make you look at her in the mirror's reflection, and you wish she hadn't, because now it just gets harder not to show with your voice how good she makes you feel.
As she looks at you, she remembers the way you were smiling at Kate, and how irritated it made her. She chokes you hard with that thought, as she thrusts deep inside you. She fucks you merciless, just wondering if you're ever gonna leave her for someone else, she squeezes her fingers tight around your throat like she doesn't want you to go anywhere but her arms. "You're only mine to use." she whispers more to her than to you, you're so focused on not screaming with pleasure, not releasing everything inside of you, that to you it's just another thing she says while she's so worked up, with no meaning behind it. "No one else can touch you like this, understand?" the words gets stuck in your throat as she doesn't ease her fingers around your neck, and as soon as you keep silent and don't answer her a loud smack noise invades your ears as you feel your skin burning from the slap she just gave you. It hurts, you never thought she'd really hit you like this, but it really felt better than you could ever imagine. "Do you understand?" she asks again, and you just nod your head, moving your hand up to her wrist to pull it away from your neck, not being able to breathe properly anymore.
It's no use, Natasha just uses even more force, making your vision completely blurred. “Hmmm fuck, you feel so good.” the way she pounds on you makes her shiver at the thought of you taking all of her thickness, how it's so easy to sink everything inside you because of how wet you are. She ends up gasping quietly, slowing down just to feel her sliding inside you, while you just dig your nails into her wrist, asking her to ease her fingers around your throat.
It works this time, at least, but then she switches between gripping your throat to wrapping the strands of your hair around her fingers, tugging hard. The maestro also has a hard time containing her moans, but unlike you, she manages to have more control over it. "Then you better not flirt with other people." now it's just jealousy talking, while Natasha rests her other hand next to yours on the edge of the sink. You don't know whether to focus on how good her cock feels abusing your cunt, the words coming out of her mouth, or how painful is the way she pulls your hair. "You don't want them to know what a slut you are, do you?"
"N-no." you look at yourself in the mirror, and at how your cheeks are smeared by the mascara that runs down your face along with the tears. You also see all the marks she left on your neck, and how ironic it is that she tells you not to show what a slut you are when she makes that obvious to everyone by marking you like that. You feel embarrassed about your state, but even more embarrassed about how close you are. Walls fluttering around her cock, which slips in and out of you with ease. You two are so lost in your feelings that you don't hear Natasha's phone ringing, so focused on your own pleasure that you don't even realize that enough time has passed for them to serve dinner. "Fuck, don't stop, please." you say in a breathy voice, the relief washing over your body when Natasha finally lets go of your hair. You feel her hot breath against your ear as she guides your hand to your own sex, pressing your fingers against your clit, and encouraging you to play with it.
You sloppily try to rub your nerve, feeling like every moment you could collapse with the way her thickness slides through your walls, but after a few tries your hand stops, unable to continue because of the way her cock makes you feel. That also causes the Maestro to stop, and you see the evil smile on her face and how she looks so innocently at you at the same time. "Go ahead, keep going." she asks you gently, her dick twitching inside you as she does her best to keep still. She lets out a shaking breath while resting her forehead on your shoulder for just a few seconds before looking back at you, waiting for you to do as she asked to get back to using you the way she wants. You take time, but also wanting her to fuck you again the way she was doing, you end up sighing heavily, clenching your jaw while you go back to stimulating yourself. It's hard to do though, but even so you make circular movements on your clit, even feeling sensitive you keep going, moving your hips to try to relieve yourself on her.
You thank the universe as she slowly moves inside you again, and you realize she's mimicking your slow rhythm, and you hate yourself for not being able to increase the speed. "Really?" she mocks you, smiling as she looks at you through the reflection. "Gosh, what a pathetic slut you are, don't even know how to touch yourself." she takes your hand again, but this time to press it against your lower back. Even if she wanted to tease you a little longer she wouldn't be able to, so she just pounds back into you hard, sinking her entire length with no care at all.
"Fuck... I bet you can at least come, can't you?" you nod frantically, feeling your body slam against the sink with every thrust she takes inside you. You try to move away a little by the way it hurts to feel your body colliding with the furniture every moment, but Natasha holds you tighter forcing you to stay still. "Yeah of course you can, just a needy fucking whore aren't ya?" you agree with her, didn't even know you get so turned on by those kinds of names until she started calling you by them, and especially now this is just the last straw for you to feel the climax building.
"Please..." you beg her with your eyes, finding it the hardest task of all to hold on for one more second because of the way she fucks you so hard, and for the Maestro is no different, she feels the first drops of her cum starting to release inside if you, and that encourages her to keep going. “Please Nat-.”
"Please what?" she purposely breathes heavily into your ear, feeling the way your walls spasm and contract around her dick, and how she knows she won't last much longer either. "Do you wanna come?" you nod, muscles tensing unbearably. "Fuck baby... want me to come with you hm? Want me to breed your pussy so good? Fill you up with my cum?" you just keep nodding over and over again before the orgasm slams against your body, Natasha following you right after and emptying herself inside you. “Fuck… that’s it baby.” you feel all the strength you had in your legs fading away, and the only way you find to stay on your feet is the way she holds you. She bites your shoulder to stop her moaning too loudly and you also have to control yourself not to make any noise. You feel it until her last load is released into your pussy, and how she just stands there for long seconds trying to pull herself together.
“You’re always so good to me, you did so good baby.” she praises you, slowly moving inside you, fucking every last drop of her cum inside your pussy. You feel like something is burning between your legs as she stops completely inside you, breathing heavily against the curve of your neck.
When the two of you finally come off the peak you take a moment to return to your normal breathing as you feel the discomfort that is when Natasha pulls out, her cum dripping down your thighs as she fixes your underwear and drags the hem of your dress down. She looks into your eyes through the mirror, and then gently cups your chin to turn your face to the side. "I'm the only one who can make you feel like this" you feel her breath hitting your lips, and how close her face is to yours. "You'll never let anyone touch you like that, only I can do it." it's not a question, more of a warning, and you as usual just nod whatever she says as you lower your gaze to her lips. You always think how soft they must be, and how good it must be to kiss them, and Natasha notices the way you tilt your face even further, making your lips just inches apart, and with that just completely pulls away from you. "Fix your makeup."
You take a deep breath, coming back to reality, wetting your hands with the water from the sink to clean your mascara-smeared face. You look at her in the mirror's reflection, and see the way she also fixes the wrinkles in her clothes, sighing heavily as she looks at the ceiling. You wanted to know what she thinks after you guys have sex, and why she never wants to talk to you properly after that. For you it’s something really complicated, but for Natasha it's an easy answer, she doesn't want to get attached. You also have to get some paper towels to wipe the mess on your thighs, while the Maestro just puts her suit top back on, and close her shirt buttons. You place your hand on your hip bone, feeling the sore area from the way it kept hitting against the sink, and think of all the bruises it could leave the next day. "Fuck." she murmurs looking at her phone screen once she finishes looking presentable. "Uhm... you need to go."
"I'm sorry?" you turn to face her, finishing arranging a few strands of your hair.
"They started serving dinner a few minutes ago, you should go, it will be suspicious if we show up together." she speaks casually, tucking her phone back into her pants pocket.
"But I... Nat I'm hungry and... Kate was gonna give me a ride back home." she rolls her eyes when you mention your friend's name, while you tell the truth, you were waiting all night for this dinner, having sex in the bathroom of a stranger's house really wasn't in your plans, but now you don't want to go before at least eating something. "You can go ahead, I'll wait a while and-."
"No." she interrupts you. "You can eat at home, take a taxi or something." she's trying not to sound too insensitive, she really doesn't mean to. But between letting you stay and maybe ruin her career and sending you home, she prefers the second option. "What do you need? Money?" she sighs heavily and impatiently, pulling her wallet out of her pocket and scoffing in disbelief when she notices that the only thing she has is a $100 bill. "Here."
“Natasha…” you stare at the bill she holds out to you, refusing to take it. “I can't I-.”
“Gosh just take it.” she grabs your wrist, and places the bill in your hand before tucking the wallet back into her pocket. She sees the expression on your face, and how hurt you look about it, but she can't throw years of career in the trash. “Look… I'm sorry okay? But I really need to go now, just make sure no one sees you when you're leaving… you… baby… you're a mess.” she moves closer to you to adjust the hem of your dress which is still way above your thighs, before lightly caressing your cheek with her knuckles. “Just, text me when you get home, right?”
You don't look at her before you hear the door close, you just play with the piece of paper in your hands. It's like every time she gets what she wants, you just become her apprentice again, not someone she shares such intimate moments with. But at the same time she makes you feel so important that you’re starting to accept this kind of relationship that you two have. Even deep down what you really wanted is for her to look at you the same way you look at her.
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lecsainz · 1 year
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hiii can you do one about charles x reader, at the miami gp where charles crashes in tl2 and quali and she's there to comfort charles? miami got me down 😭
always be here
pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings: car crash mention, miami gp 2023.
authors note: i'm also sad about miami 😭 but i'm sure that god willing charles will do well in the race!! i kept it short because i wanted to post it before the race anyway, i hope you like it 🫶
word count: 616
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As Charles walked back to the Ferrari garage after crashing during the quali at the Miami Grand Prix, he couldn't help but feel devastated. He knew he had let down the team and his fans, and the weight of that failure was heavy on his shoulders.
But as he approached the garage, he saw a familiar face waiting for him. It was Y/N, his girlfriend, who had flown all the way from Europe to be there for him.
Charles' heart skipped a beat as he saw her, and he ran over to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Y/N, I'm so glad you're here," he said, his voice shaking with emotion.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Y/N replied, holding him close. "I'm here for you, Charles."
As they walked back to the motorhome, Y/N could see the pain etched on Charles' face. She knew how hard he had worked to prepare for this race, and how much this setback meant to him.
"I'm so sorry, mon amour." Charles said, as they sat down on the couch. "I let you down."
"No, you didn't," Y/N replied, taking his hand in hers. "Accidents happen, and you're still an amazing driver. I'm proud of you, Charles."
Charles looked at her, his eyes filling with tears. "Thank you for being here for me." he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Y/N leaned in and kissed him gently, feeling the love and pain in his touch. She knew that he was hurting, but she also knew that they would get through it together.
For the rest of the day, Y/N stayed by Charles' side, comforting him and reminding him that he was loved. They talked about the race, and Charles opened up about how much the crashes had affected him.
"I don't know if I can bounce back from this," Charles said, his voice low. "It feels like my confidence is shattered."
Y/N squeezed his hand, "You will bounce back, Charles. You're strong and talented, and you have so much potential. This is just a bump in the track."
Charles looked at her, his eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. I don't know what I would do without you."
Y/N smiled, "You'll never have to find out, Charles. I'll always be here for you."
Charles smiled back, feeling a sense of comfort wash over him. He leaned in and kissed Y/N once more, holding her close.
"I love you so much," he whispered.
"I love you too, Charles," Y/N replied, smiling up at him. "And I'll always be here to support you, no matter what."
Charles smiled back at her, feeling grateful for her unwavering support. "I know you will, Y/N. And I promise to always be here for you too mon amour."
Y/N's smile widened, and she leaned in to kiss him again. They sat together, enjoying each other's company and the peaceful sound of the waves.
As the night fell and the stars twinkled above, Charles and Y/N knew that they were in for a challenging weekend.
With Y/N's love and support, Charles felt a renewed sense of confidence and determination. He knew that he would do everything in his power to bounce back from the setbacks of the day, and that he would make her, the team and his fans proud.
As they finally headed back to their hotel room, hand in hand, Charles felt a sense of peace wash over him. Whatever challenges the future may hold, he knew that he would face them with Y/N by his side. And that was all that mattered.
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blakeswritingimagines · 3 months
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Reaction to a "Blind" Gorgon Girlfriend
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Wednesday:
She would be completely unphased by your lack of conventional sight. She would probably become quite enamored with the way you easily navigate your surroundings using your other senses (like echolocation and your touch sense) and try to emulate them herself. She would appreciate how your senses are different from her own, yet equally valid and fascinating. She would try her best to understand and support you.
Enid:
She would be intrigued by the fact that her girlfriend is blind, though also cautious about how you might react to certain things. Enid would ensure she's always communicating clearly so that you understand what is happening around you as best you can. If you were comfortable with it, she would like to explore touch and other forms of intimacy, as those would be a great way to establish a connection between you both. Overall, she would approach the situation with nothing but patience, care, and understanding. 
Xavier:
It was certainly an interesting experience dating a blind gorgon. Your eyes had a certain beauty to them, despite not being able to physically see anything. He was able to have a deep connection with you without fear of being turned to stone. In terms of your actual physical relationship, it didn't change much, as your senses of touch and hearing were heightened due to being blind. He wouldn't change a thing about your time together.
Rowan:
He loves you unconditionally. If you were blind (or any other disability), he would be there to support you and learn to adapt to accommodate your disability. He believes that everyone has the capacity to love without conditions, it just requires effort and commitment.
Tyler:
It would be a weird experience in the beginning for him, not just because you're blind but because of you being a gorgon. But you know, every relationship should be built on trust and understanding. So if he has a blind gorgon girlfriend, he would try to make you feel comfortable and get to know her more. If you feel comfortable with him, you and him could have a really amazing connection.
Ajax:
Well, it's definitely a unique relationship! I admire her boldness and strong sense of self. Her blind eyes can still be incredibly expressive. I think we can have a great, loving, and mutually respectful relationship. Of course, I would be a bit nervous about the possibility of accidentally turning her to stone. But I know that if we both exercise caution and are considerate of each other's needs, we can make it work.
Bianca:
She will probably be intrigued and excited to have a blind gorgon girlfriend. She will be interested in making sure your needs are met and that you feel comfortable. She would enjoy exploring your world and learning from your perspective. She would be open to adapting her life to accommodate your needs and make you feel comfortable and loved.
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variety-fangirl · 4 months
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On My Own / Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Summary: After your encounter with Rafe, you are understandably shaken up. JJ comforts you and vows to keep you safe.
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, abusive and manipulative Rafe, lmk if I missed anything.
Author's note: I am so so sorry for how long this has taken, I've had so many requests and life has taken a few rough turns so I've been quite behind with everything. I am so grateful for your patience and understanding, much love! 😘☺️ Thank you so much for reading, please enjoy! Liking, reblogging, and commenting really helps me out! 😁
Word count: 1.4k
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You sigh as you sit curled up with a thin blanket around your legs and waist, a hot cup of tea in hand that JJ had made to comfort you. Your hand is on your stomach, stroking absentmindedly at the clothed skin of your stomach. JJ sat closely in front of you, your knees touching and his hand stroking your leg closest to him. You had managed to stop crying a little while ago, it had been an hour since Rafe came over uninvited. You were honestly so fed up with Rafe trying to control your life, he didn't want anything to do with you or this baby and yet he couldn't stand the thought of someone else wanting you? What kind of bullshit was that?
JJ agreed that he would stay with you for the night, you didn't want to be a pain and ask but you also didn't want to be by yourself tonight. Luckily JJ offered without you having to ask, he offered, saying he would feel better if he was there. You were so thankful for your best friend, you didn't know what you would do without him. JJ looked over at you with concern, "you okay, sweetheart?" he questioned with worry, his eyebrows furrowed at you. You smile at him, reaching over to squeeze his free hand in comfort. "I'm fine, just exhausted." You huff in exhaustion, tiredness taking over your features.
"We can go to bed if you want to?" he asks sweetly, rubbing your hand tenderly before intertwining your fingers. You shake your head with a tired smile, "No, not that kind of tired. I'm physically exhausted, not just because of the pregnancy but Rafe also. He creates problems upon problems constantly. I just want him to go away and leave me alone for good." You groan, rubbing your forehead in frustration. JJ hums with a nod, "I get you. He's being such a prick and I don't know why but nothing Rafe does makes sense so y'know." he shrugs, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand. You huff with a laugh, "Absolutely. He just does whatever he wants without consequence no matter who he hurts along the way. What I saw in him I don't know." You roll your eyes at your own stupidity. You had loved him, but it was quickly wearing off with the need to protect your baby.
JJ watches as you go quiet for a moment, looking down at your stomach with sadness as you rub the area. "I... Just wish I could have had this baby with literally anyone else. I wouldn't change them for the world but I just their father wasn't Rafe, y'know?" JJ nods understanding, squeezing your hand tighter. You smile to yourself at your thought process, "If I could have chosen, I would have chosen you. You'd make a great father, contrary to your belief because of yours." You swear you see JJ's cheeks go pink, he places his free hand on your stomach to feel the baby. "You really think so?" he asks unsurely, a flash of insecurity on his face. You frown with a nod, grabbing his face with your free hand, and rubbing his cheek with your thumb lovingly.
He leans instantly into your touch as if he craved the feel of you and it made your heart melt. You both stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the innocent feel of one another's skin and presence. It honestly seemed like you both needed some comfort, affection and love right now. You knew now that this is what it felt like to truly be loved by someone, even if JJ only saw you as a friend, this is what true real love was. The way he stared at you with so much love and care was making your chest feel heavy and your heart skips a beat, this felt different. Maybe in another life, JJ would have been the one, your perfect man but at last, in this lifetime he is not.
By the time you both headed to bed, it was well past 11 pm, almost midnight. You were both exhausted as you pulled the couch out and turned it into a couch bed, neither bothering to head upstairs. Your parents were away on vacation for a while so no stress there thankfully. You grabbed your favourite blanket and pulled it over the pair of you as you snuggled into JJ, making sure your belly was not being lent on. JJ let you use him as an anchor to lean on, I mean he wasn't complaining because he got to snuggle you either way. You both fell asleep fairly quietly, today was too stressful.
-
You woke up to the sound of talking, three voices you recognised. JJ, Sarah and John B. You honestly didn't feel like getting up or talking to anyone yet so you pretended to still be asleep. You and JJ were still cuddled up on the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around you and his chin snuggled into the top of your head. "Here bro." You felt JJ stretch as slowly as possible, obviously trying to not wake you up like a sweetheart. "Thanks, you are a lifesaver." JJ thanks John B gratefully before settling back in place with one less arm around you.
You were about to "wake up" when you heard John B ask how you were, you stayed put. You were curious. Plus JJ's hand drawing aimless soft circles on your arm was really nice, so lying there still wasn't hard. JJ sighed, "she was really shaken up last night after Rafe came here. I wish I could have been there when he showed up, maybe if I had been thirty minutes quicker-" John B interrupted JJ, "Mate, you didn't know and you know how unpredictable Rafe is. You couldn't have known okay? Plus, you know she would never blame you." JJ hummed thoughtfully but nodded in agreement, he stretched to, assumably, put his coffee down.
"I'm going to make breakfast, okay? She'll be hungry when she wakes up." Sarah voiced, the sound of shuffling and footsteps following. You feel JJ pull you closer, gently so as to not hurt or put pressure on your belly, and place a tender hand on your stomach. You feel JJ place a soft kiss on your head as John B speaks, "Bro have you still not told her how you feel?" This perks your interest, did he mean you? JJ turned his face to presumably face John B, "I can't. She's one of my best friends, not to mention pregnant with another man's baby. Isn't exactly the right time, is it?" JJ remarked sarcastically, you could imagine he would be rolling his eyes right now with a frown on his beautiful face.
You opened your eyes to peek and unfortunately, John B was staring directly at your face, JJ was looking past you both. John B winked at you with a small knowing smirk before answering JJ, "When if not now? No time is better than the present. You'll only end up regretting it if you don't. You never know, she may feel the same." You feel JJ's grip on you tighten slightly as he speaks, "She actually told me last night that if she could have chosen the father of her baby, she would have chosen me. Me, dude." He honestly sounded so happy that you couldn't help but smile happily. John B smirked like a knowing idiot at you both, "Sounds like you already have your answer."
You pretend to wake up, and you take a large stretch. "Morning beautiful," JJ says with a smile, looking down at you curled into his side like a cat. You smile up at him happily and place a kiss on his cheek, "Hi handsome." You greet in return, JJ stretches across to grab his coffee as Sarah asks for his help to plate up. JJ kisses your head and gets up to help her, all while John B stares at you with a knowing smirk. You wait until JJ moves over to the kitchen and then throws a pillow from next to you at John B, he laughs and catches it effortlessly. "Real smooth," Sarah calls for you both for breakfast, the smell of waffles and bacon filling your senses. John B stands, crossing over to stand in front of you to help you get up off the couch. "You and I are talking about this later!" He announces quietly.
Taglist: @ilovechickenwings @brooklynscherry-z @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo
Do we ship a potential relationship with our bby JJ? :D
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ronearoundblindly · 17 days
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Kissing, lighting and sleepy sex for Hideout Steve and Reader?
I am not prepared. My feels...they shall be too deep and endless. I shall try anyway.
From this dirty ask game for this AU series where Nomad Steve lets motel-employee!Reader soothe his touch-starved body. Lawd, halp me, this is about to get crunk in a tooth-rotting, put-some-pillows-beneath-you you're-gonna-faint type o' way. [y'all can't tell I drank during the eclipse today, right? I'm subtle? Cool.] MINORS DNI.
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K - Kissing
ACK My heart! Or rather, there is something deeply adoring for Steve when you kiss his chest, over his heart. It makes him feel just that much more like a person who lives in this world, who belongs in this world, who will return one day to this world...
His hands are also a big one--no, not just actually big hands, but important to show love to because he uses them for such violence. Each kiss is like a little touch of forgiveness for what he's done or had to do with those hands. He appreciates the trust it takes, too, to kiss his palms, when he could easily stop you breathing (sorry, that sounds dark, but Nomad was in a dark place, okay, bad things occur to him now).
Steve loves to kiss your stomach, and it might be somewhat taboo to say, but he has a touch of that crawl-back-home-for-safety comfort thing going on when he presses close and holds your center to him. It's not a mommy kink or roleplay, per se; he relishes the connectedness of being one and curling up against you is the only non-sexual way he knows how to achieve that--like in Chapter 3 when he falls asleep in that position.
As far as leaving marks though? Steve can emphatically say 'hell no,' not on purpose. Pain is a bit, meh, weird for him because he heals so quickly. He might not even notice if you did bite or bruise him. He certainly wouldn't see it in the morning. He does not in any way associate marks with love or affection since he only ever saw them on himself after fights or on women (including his Ma) after being abused.
That is not love to Steve.
It's control, it's dominance, it's inequality, and he fucking hates it.
L - Lighting
Steve entirely defers to you on whether there are actual lights on or off. He likes to use his senses to explore and enjoy you, so without light is fine. He's just here for you.
Steve does, however,--no spoilers for Chapter 5--like ambiance such as candles or something dim and colorful. He thinks you'd look unbelievably perfect beside a sparkling Christmas Tree. He hopes to celebrate (all holidays and birthdays and everything) openly with you some day. The sooner the better.
(Except, no audience for him making love to you under those twinkling lights, please. He's staunchly opposed to that sort of thing.)
S - Sleepy Sex
So, again, no spoilers for Chapter 5, but once Steve gets comfortable with oral sex he is comfortable with oral sex, if you catch my drift.
If he wakes up first, he's on you in some way, arms and legs draped over you, kissing any place he can get to, man-handling you just enough to start something he 100% will finish. He's just...uh god, so attentive.
With the super senses and being a fugitive though, it's not often that you can wake up before him, truly, which limits or completely removes the ability to surprise him with a blowjob, but he will dreamily let you roam wherever your mouth and hands take you. As long as there's lots of contact. As much as possible really. Like lay your arms across his thighs and abs while playing with him. Maybe put your body over one of his legs and ride his foot if you need to. He must feel attached in some way. Cold, distant, or separated does not do it for him.
Here's my absolute, I-will-die, favorite thing about Hideout Steve though: when he's tired/fatigued/worn out/sleepy, he gets louder.
Much. Much. Louder, babes.
No cursing, mostly, but all the moans and groans and whining are totally dialed up. And I don't know about y'all, but I can't really think of anything fucking sexier than Nomad Steve screaming that he's gonna come.
🥵
Thank you for asking!
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A/N: Here lies Ro in a puddle. She made up a man she wants and will never have.
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[Main Masterlist; Hideout Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
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lifeiskentastic · 9 months
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Ken flirts (albeit not very successfully) with a officer gn!Reader
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Gif by jokerous
A/n: I want to say in advance that if I don't respond to your replies, it's only because this is my side blog and I still haven't figured out how to make it the main blog ;( and English is still my second language so be sure to let me know about my mistakes!
Summary: Ken shows up at the police station again, but this time he has a much more complicated reason for being there;
Song I recommended: Santa Monica by Everclear (although it's not really suitable for fanfic, the song and lyrics were just made for Ken);
Word count: 1,107 words;
Hope you like it!
You've interrogated all sorts of weirdos during your long career as a police investigator. But such a case was certainly the first of its kind. And probably the only one. In front of you sat a not at all embarrassed man in the uniform of a horse rider, that is, in a ridiculous oval hat, a black suit, only horse was. What was the main problem. After all, walking in such clothes in public places and even without a horse is not to everyone's liking. In addition, if it is stolen. Although most of the townspeople have already managed to get used to it since this same man and his companion appeared here for the first time. However, this case was different, as today he came alone. That's why they didn't let him home right away, but sent you to deal with it.
"So Mr. Ken…" You looked at the man who wasn't the least bit concerned about being in the police station, not knowing what you were going to do with him.
"Oh yeah, it's me."
"Um, why did you steal that suit?" You mentally slapped yourself on the forehead for asking such a stupid and obvious question. It's like asking a criminal why he committed a crime... Damn.
Ken was smiling brightly, only making you despair even more. "You see, I just don't have anything to pay yet… But I'll pay it all back very soon! Yes…" But you wouldn't tell that from his unsure and guilty face.
"I'm sorry, mister, but in our town promises aren't enough." For some reason it was difficult for you to say this. Maybe you just couldn't resist the person's naive sincerity in front of you.
"Okay, I'll give you one last warning in hopes that I won't find you in a stolen suit in the middle of a police station again, okay?" Ken shook his head.
"Well, officer, I promise, it won't happen again!"
"Eh, I hope so…"
To tell the truth, this was not the first such "last" warning, but... But sometimes it is worth making exceptions to the rules and protocols for the sake of a good cause.
"Um, officer?" You were about to walk out of the interrogation room and just pretend you didn't see the criminal leaving the police station without punishment. But Ken stopped you with his strangely needy look. "Actually, I just wanted to meet you again."
You were once again surprised by the frankness of this man. And ignorance.
"You could just walk in here, you don't have to commit a robbery."
"Oh."
For a moment you stared into each other's eyes in inexplicable silence until you remembered in time that Ken was a little out of this world. But you didn't know yet whether in a physical or mental sense.
Ken's expression lost its former fervor for a moment, causing you to feel a sharp pang of guilt. So you decided to somehow cheer him up.
"Anyway, I'm very flattered that you went through such troubles for me." You pointed out Ken's appearance, and he immediately melted with pride. "Good job."
You chuckled amicably, but immediately after that you suddenly remembered that you were still wearing your police badge and had some responsibilities, so you improved to add:
"But anyway, don't do that again!"
"Haha, not going to anymore, don't worry officer."
And silence reigned again, although this time it was filled with your mutual smiles. Incredible, but even criminals can be cute.
Ken began to glare at you, to which you could only respond with confusion. This careful look confused you a little, so you decided to find out the reason for it directly.
"Is something wrong Ken?" Ken squinted and something in his sly expression seemed to warn you of danger...
"You are beautiful."
You blinked, slightly not expecting such an answer to the question about feelings.
"Um, thanks… You're in good shape too." Ken assumed a very strange pose that you could describe as flirtatious if he wasn't the weird stranger. After all, how could he flirt with you? It seemed as if the roles of the policeman and the culprit were somehow unfairly reversed between you...
Ken folded his arms on the table, looking at you with all possible attention. Because of which you imperceptibly shuddered. A very strange feeling welled up as you stared into those crystal blue eyes in return. And Ken's smile might seem innocent and naive, but as an experienced police officer you couldn't afford to be fooled by that…
Your palms also rested safely on the table, and the undisguised slyness with which Ken was looking at them could not be ignored... After that, Ken lightly touched his soft fingers to yours, as if by accident, but you could definitely tell from his satisfied face that this was exactly what he intended. But you have not removed your hands in any way. Even if these touches did not seem only friendly.
Ken's whole look (minus the costume ) was like... Head over heels in love? You tried to drive away these insolent thoughts, but the affectionate look fixed on you as if he was completely devoted only to you, the barely noticeable movements of his fingers on your palms and the atmosphere of privacy created by him did not give you peace. And when did everything get so fast?
"You know, I've always wanted to try on an officer's uniform, although I'm pretty sure it looks better on you."
Well, even if it was a sincere and deliberate flirtation, it was so incredibly unfussy and simple that it couldn't help but be touching. If everyone in Ken's world is so nice and unassuming, then this place is clearly Heaven.
"Hmm, thanks again and… And I'm also pretty sure that the uniform will fit you."
You didn't know what Ken was playing, but you decided to keep up with him. It seems that a real battle was brewing here...
"Are you busy tonight?"
It confused you a little. Somehow unexpectedly, too sharply and in general, such purely friendly invitations are not made with such a flirtatious tone!..
"No. Not at all. Do you want to meet?..."
But your tongue had already given away all your innermost thoughts before you had time to really think them through.
Ken looked as if he had already expected a refusal, but when he heard the unequivocal agreement... Well, sparks flew from him. Literally. However, you were sure that this only seemed to you.
"So, at the beach today?"
"I will wait for you!"
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Text
Fred Weasley x male! Reader - Fred Weasley is sure his family thinks his boyfriend is a lunatic
A/n: the reader lives in the usa, normally I wouldn't try and mention where the reader lives (I don't live in the us) but it felt better with this fic. Also we live for badass muggle readers, there will be many more to come!
Warnings: Swearing, fighting (physically), the reader having some mental health problems but it isn't touched upon further then you can read, I think that's it? You have been warned!
Summary: Being introduced to Fred's family as his muggle american boyfriend already makes you sound like some exotic animal to them. It probably won't help that you have another secret just waiting to come out...
The three P's:
[Pov: 2nd person] [Pronouns used: you/your, he/him] [Pairings: (romantic!) fred x reader, (platonic!) fred/reader x the order/weasley family, (mentioned romantic!) Hermione x ron, (mentioned parental! harry x sirius]
I do NOT support J. K. Rowling, or any transphobic/homophobic things she says (or anything she says really), or TERFS!
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You stared up at the ceiling of the Grimwald place with your hands laid on to the sides without a care in the world, opposing the anxious feeling bubbling in your throat.
You closed your eyes as you heard the familiar whispers of the other members of the Weasley family and the "order" replaying in your mind; "A boyfriend, a muggle boyfriend? And an American!" You must have been something to gauk at.
They looked at you as if you were some strange enigma not a newly graduate from your public highschool that wasn't fancy, and no, did not have moving staircases.
Who the fuck would want staircases that moved and that someone could potentially fall down? It seemed like a major safety hazard to you. Though all of Hogwarts seemed like a violation of the welfare of children from all the bits that Fred had told you about, although you're sure your city was much worse.
Where you lived there was crime left and right, and so much of the police were corrupt that it was dangerous to walk at night without someone beside you in case you got jumped.
Damn it, you were not supposed to think about crime right now, because it would just make you more anxious and jumpy and it always sent your spider senses aloof. Yet all you could think about was your city, without it's hero - Spiderman, to protect it. You just prayed while you were away the villains decided to take a break too.
The door to your room opened and your body immediately stood up, triggering it's flight or fight response with your muscles tensing up and you mentally preparing yourself for a fight.
Only to see Fred Weasley, your boyfriend enter the room.
Holy hell, you really were going insane.
Letting out a sigh of relief you let yourself fall against Fred and let your head rest on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you.
"Tired?"
"Hm."
"Was it my father asking relentless questions, or them thinking you were a friend, and me having to come out of the closet?"
You lift your head and smile lazily at his cheeky grin on his face as he teased you.
"Wouldn't you say wardrobe?"
Fred rolled his eyes. "You Americans always butchering our way of speaking, it's wardrobe, and no. Saying "coming out of the wardrobe" sounds absolutely ridiculous."
You laugh at him and close your eyes, you let your worries about being in England and leaving your city unprotected slowly ebb away with Fred's presence. He always had that affect on you, calming you, letting your mind settle down from the endless ways that people could be dying and how you could be failing to save them.
Not that he knew of course.
When Fred was trying out a new product for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, he had accidentally gotten teleported to your house in America. Well it was your aunt's house at the time but that was besides the point.
It scared the ever living shit out of you, and you nearly thought he was a super villain with immense powers. No, it was just some stupid boy who had been mistakenly apparated to your residency and who couldn't get back because he didn't have his wand on him when he did.
"Freddie- or whatever your name is, I have a feeling you're not in England anymore."
After introducing you to magic, he was stayed at your place for three months, because you had no way to buy him a plane ticket to London, as you were barely scraping by as is. And someone would have to show him the terrors of an airport and how to navigate (that person being you) meaning you would need two tickets.
Eventually he found a witch who would apparate him back, although he was hesitant. He didn't want to leave you.
Reasoning with him that his family probably thought he was dead (also considering he did tell you there was a war with some dark wizard named Morty?) So he did, not before he confessed to you and decided he would come see you every weekend.
Then every weekend, became every other day and every other day became every day after work.
He was with you through everything and had told you things about himself his twin didn't even know, insecurities not meant for the cruel world. He was there for you when aunt may died, and when your best friend did too.
Yet you couldn't tell him your secret, that you were Spiderman. That you went out every night and saved people from getting hurt - or worse. Maybe more simply put that you were bitten by a radioactive spider that gave you superpowers (heighten senses, the ability to climb walls, webs, heightened intelligence, healing factor, spidey senses, super strength, super speed, super reflexes, superhuman durability, and immunity to wizard spells) and when your uncle died made you want to become a capped crusader without a cape that saved people?
Alright, perhaps that is a bit harder to explain.
Still you felt guilty that you hadn't told him, the two of you had been together for two years, he deserved to know.
"You alright there love?" Fred asked you as he ran a hand through your hair. "I seemed to have lost you there for a minute."
An American, muggle, boyfriend; man his family must have stared at you like a freak in a cage and you didn't notice.
"Fred I have to-"
You cut yourself off as your spidey sense started "tingling" more like blaring in your brain.
Quickly you pushed Fred to the left side of the room as a women in some weird sliver mask and black gown (that must not have been good for running after people in,) appeared out of some black smoke.
Emo much?
A spell whosed out of her wand as it hit the wall behind you two and you blankly wondered (not minding the danger) if she was in a cult.
It definitely wasn't one of yours that's for sure, usually they had better costumes.
"They've gotten passed our defenses!" A yell was heard from outside your secluded room and you couldn't be bothered to identify who it was before Fred casted some spell that made the women fall down straight like a board.
You could admire the irony in that.
Fred looked at you with confusion in his eyes. "How did you- It doesn't matter, you stay in here, okay? It's not safe out there."
Oh it was deatheaters, the people they were at war with. So you were right, it was a cult, to be fair it wasn't just any cult, it was the cult.
Fred quickly casts a spell under his breath over towards the lady now stiffed on the ground and closed to door on your face. As he locked it without even touching it.
You cursed, stupid magic, stupid people, stupid boyfriend, you had to get to them and help. You knew you could help because you were sure Wizards that hated anyone who wasn't "pure" and hated muggles didn't carry guns, making them incredibly useless. In addition to that wouldn't they not learn basic self defense because that would be below them or something?
So it would be mostly a saving-people-from-dying mission, you hated those.
"Because someone always ends up dying." A voice in the back of your mind speaks, way too happily when talking about death.
You slam the side of your body against the door as it flew off the hinges and you ran out to help the others. Whoops, hopefully you wouldn't have to pay for that.
You had the advantage of sneaking in, so you climbed up the walls so that you were sticking to the roof. It was strange climbing again in regular clothes, you usually did it in your spidey suit. It reminded you of when you were just starting out and freaking out about your powers, it nearly made you chuckle
Spotting Fred's twin - George (yes you could tell them apart it wasn't that hard) in a tough spot with two deatheaters cornering him you decided it was your time to jump into action before someone got hurt.
"Hey asshole!" You yelled at his perpetrators from the ceiling. "It's over, I have the high ground!"
Then you dropped from the ceiling on one of their faces.
The masked deatheater that you jumped on crumbled to the ground and hit their head on the floor and didn't make another noise. You didn't have time to check their pulse and make sure you didn't accidentally kill them as the other one sent a spell flying your way.
You giggled at their stunned expression when the spell did absolutely nothing to you.
"Ya, that isn't going to work buddy." You spoke confidentially before leaping towards them and punching them in the face.
"But may the force me with you!" You yelled as you threw your arm back to readying it for another punch.
You hit them just with the right amount of force, and just in the right place that they would get knocked out. You didn't want to do some brain damage or anything. You're sure there were some Wizard police or something that could take care of them, and they most likely would want to extract information from them too considering they were in war right now.
Okay two down, ten more to go? This is the best break ever!
Molly, Fred's mum was firing spell after spell at people, and didn't seem to need any help, and Sirius Black (escaped wrongly convicted?) was also just doing fine as he fought along side his godson. Harry Potter, the kid who the leader of the deatheater cult really wanted to kill because he couldn't kill a fucking baby. Although, he always waited at the end of the year to either try and kill him or apprehend him.
Well, at least Morty cared about the kid's education right?
You scanned your eyes around the room and they fell on Fred's youngest sister who was fighting along side Ron, and Hermione (who should really fuck already) and looked to be losing.
To be fair, three kids versus five adults? Didn't exactly seem fair to you.
You judo kicked one of them, before throat punching another, then knocking one on the jaw (you really hoped it wasn't broken,) while dodging some strikes coming your way.
"Here's Johnny!" You screamed.
Next you webbed the fourth cult member's arms and legs together, and finally you got the last one in a choke-hold cutting off their air supply before they fell to the ground on conscious.
You fought the remaining one off before having your short victory of them all being alive but unable to move or open their eyes.
"Bloody hell, I know, you're that superhero from America - Spiderman!" Ron exclaims.
Winking at him you let your spidey sense guide you to the next danger.
"I'm Batman." You grudge in your best Bruce Wayne impression possible before throwing your head back with laughter.
"Yes, it's Spiderman." You clarify, at their perplexed expressions and their wonderment of your sanity.
Suddenly your brain flared and you shot a web at Fred quicker than the speed of light and pulled him towards you with it as a spell that was bright green that sounded like "abracadabra" narrowly missed him.
You felt like you knew the spell, you feel like Fred had told you about it specifically- Oh. It was the killing curse.
That Bastard tried to murder your boyfriend.
Rage filled your veins that you hadn't felt since your uncle died, an old friend that come to greet you with a dagger in it's hands that had your name on it.
This was had to end now.
You took down the rest of the deatheaters swiftly even if the idiots had figured out you were immune to magic they were no match for you.
Then, some white light, smokey stuff came from out of nowhere and people stepped out of it. You almost go to attack them only to see that they didn't don the stupid all black gowns, nor the sliver cult masks with designs only children would call creepy.
Was this the rest of the order?
"The the fuck happened here." Some guy spoke with an mechanical eye, but not really mechanical eye? It just looked everywhere at any point? You were so confused honestly.
You're pretty sure the most emotion you've been feeling this entire time has been confusion.
"Sorry, did I step on your moment?" You question them with a toothy grin while your boyfriend marveled at you with a bright red blush covering his ears and cheeks.
"Merlin, that was so hot."
You throw your head back in laughter as George elbows Fred who continues to ogle at you.
"So you're not mad?" You ask him as your eyes flash with fear.
"Mad? Why would I be mad?" He chuckles and comes forward to wrap an arm around your waist.
"Well I kinda didn't tell you and you told me about your wizard thingy..." You trail off, as your hands fidget with each other.
"As much as this is sweet-" The man with mechanical the eye starts up with a grumble.
"No, no, I want to see how this will play out." A women with pink hair smirks.
"Were you going to tell me eventually?" Fred continues.
"Yes, why wouldn't I?"
"Exactly, you just had to tell me in your own time."
You gaped at the man in front of you, you couldn't believe that this wizard is yours.
"I love you so much!" You threw your arms around Fred's neck.
"Mate!" Ron piped up. "Fred's boyfriend just annihilated a bunch of deatheaters like they were flies! How is hugging him now?!"
Fred just ignores his brother as he places a kiss on your brow.
"I love you too, you crazy spider."
Bonus 1:
"I think my family is terrified of you now." Fred whispers in your ear as you glance over Ron who's shaking slightly as he leans over to Hermione and mutters something to her along the lines of; "He took down twelve deatheaters! Of course I'm scared!"
"That's what Ron's telling Hermione right now."
Fred stares at you, an astonished look appearing over his freckles.
"You can hear them, from here!"
"It's called super hearing babe."
"I know you, already explained your powers to me! But you willingly listened in on them!"
You bashfully turned your head. "I was just curious!"
"Who are you, and what have you done with Y/n!"
"You caught me! I'm Bond, James Bond."
Bonus 2:
"You know Morty and his deatheaters should really learn self defense." You state with your arms crossed around your chest. "I'm seriously concerned about their physical well beings!"
Fred looked over at you as his face split into a grin and his belly filled with uncontrollable laughter.
"Did you just call Voldemort, Morty!"
"That isn't his name?"
Words 2511
-thedelusionreaderbitch
Hp Taglist: @regulusblackswhorecrux
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mywritingonlyfans · 1 year
Text
In his Touch. // Alex Turner X Reader. Smut!
filling the request: Alex with a very innocent and virgin younger reader and it's their first time together on their wedding night and he is so worried about hurting her. (that being soft and stuff). okay, so, there's some mild corruption kink, eating out and more sex stuff (idk how to describe the kinks lol, i just followed my heart, i'm sorry).
words: 4K.
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At this point, you didn't care anymore, even though you had cared so much about it in the beginning. Alex was much more mature, and it was evident from his tastes, the way he treated you, and the delicate lines that formed at the corners of his eyes when he smiled at you. He might be almost a decade older than you, but you couldn't feel more comfortable and desired by anyone else. Prior to him, you had only one relationship, if you could even call it that, and the aftermath of it was so bitter that it made Alex seem unreal. This raised a concern in your mind at first, but soon Alex proved to be more than just good words and manners. On the contrary, you wouldn't be ending this night beside him if that weren't the case.
His gaze was thoughtful over you, and for a moment, you almost believed that you might break. Then, his velvety voice filled the room, "Are you sure 'bout this?" Sitting on the bed, facing each other, he rested his hand on your waist, fingering the fabric of the light blue dress that matched his baby blue suit.
He looked stunning in that warm light, his face rosy with anticipation, and his breathing uneven and clear no matter how hard he tried to hide it. You wanted that, and being able to feel how much Alex desired you without being intrusive about it made you want him even more, without feeling guilty about what might be coming.
"It's just sex," you said, your voice betraying your nervousness.
He chuckled, but not in a judgmental way, but in a welcoming one. "Maybe it would be just sex if I didn't love you so much. I'm nervous because it's my first time with you."
You wrinkled your nose, letting your head fall on his shoulder as he hugged you around the waist. You were cold, a little shaky, and your mind kept circling the fact that he had done this before countless times, and he might not enjoy doing it with you. You couldn't hide your nerves, even if you tried hard enough, because Alex knew you, and he would notice it.
"Do you want to talk about it first? You might feel more comfortable," he kissed your head, his touch gentle, enveloping you into him. You wanted him so badly. "And, you know, I’m pretty much yours and we have all the time in the world. It doesn't have to be now. There's no hurry."
 As you furrowed your brows, Alex could sense the shyness in your smile. "What is it? You don't want to have sex with me?" you asked, your voice low and quiet.
 But yet, you cringed in agony, yearning for something you didn't even know what it felt like. Alex noticed your discomfort and pulled back a little, leaning his hands behind him so he could look at you better. He straightened the strap of your dress that had fallen down, following your eyes with a fond gaze.
 He then took off his blazer, folding it neatly and placing it at the foot of the bed. As he returned his hands to your waist, he lightly squeezed the spot, making you take your fingers to his broad shoulders for balance. With just his t-shirt on, he looked even more delirious, his toned arms and neck sticking out.
 As if he could hear your thoughts, he guided your hips so that you were in his lap. It wasn't like you'd never spent hours glued to him for a makeout session, yet this was different. Before you could hide your face from him, he cupped your chin with a firm touch, like that you couldn't look away from him. "I could never explain how much I want this," he whispered, and then let you snuggle up to him.
 Your arms and legs tightened around him as your head settled into his neck. Your hand roamed over his covered chest, sneaking through the opened buttons, feeling the warmth of his body, working its way from his neck to the nape to feel his soft curls until your fingers were intertwined in the chain of his necklace, as if he was made for you to fit into like a puzzle piece.
"I want you, Alex," you murmured, feeling the tension building up between you two.
 He tenderly kissed his way along your skin, leaving a trail of soft kisses that made you feel weak in the knees. Eventually, he made his way up to your mouth, his hands gliding over your thighs and pulling you close to him. You were completely enveloped by his touch, and you couldn't help but feel incredibly turned on by it all. As he slipped his tongue into your lips, you let out a low groan and tugged at his hair, causing him to let out a grunt as well. But then, you grinned excitedly against him, and he pulled back with a look of amusement.
"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, all husky.
 You nodded, your hands icy cold while your entire body was warm. Getting more comfortable, you felt his bulge, something that seemed sudden given how fast and focused on his lips your mind were.
"Answer me, pumpkin. I need your voice to make sure we're doing okay, I don't want it to be uncomfortable in any way for you." He assured, dipping the tip of his nose into your skin and showering you in more kisses. From there you knew he would continue to guide you through the little nuances, and you didn't care, you liked his voice.
“I like the feeling of being the reason for your heavy sighs,” you breathed out, carried away by his delight in hearing you.  His hands roamed the hem of the dress, making you feel out of breath once again. And when you got him, you lifted your hips and then your arms until the fabric no longer belonged to you. "I don't feel uncomfortable, I feel good with you." 
As your skin was exposed, Alex followed the curves of your body with his fingers, soon replacing them with his lips. He gazed at you with a silly smile on his face, his cheeks and nose already tinted red. He didn't speak, but his actions spoke volumes. You nodded for him to continue, and he unclasped your bra, revealing more of your flesh, which he peppered with wet kisses. You didn't feel ashamed or self-conscious; you had spent enough time with Alex to know how much he appreciated you, as corny as it may sound. And tonight was no different. 
He brushed his teeth to the region of your belly, going to your breasts and shoulders. Still gentle, he palmed your bust, causing a strange sensation to run through you. Your body was tingling, so Alex continued to stimulate your nerves, whether it was between running his fingertips over your sensitive skin or sucking and hoping to leave light marks. Your sighs were urgent, as your legs were getting tight around him, which encouraged Alex to go ahead.
Although you didn't feel vulnerable with your body in front of him, the realization that he was giving you something you couldn't reciprocate made you freeze. In that moment, you felt small with a silly fear, and Alex, of course, could tell.
Alex held you tighter and left you on the bed. His hands roamed over your torso while yours went to the collar of his shirt, wandering over his exposed skin and the silver cord. "Is everything okay?" His eyes gazed at you and you knew he wouldn't continue until you verbalized what was bothering you. It was fair enough, but you wanted to avoid such a situation. 
You snorted, holding him to you. The light fabric of his touches your body, in a way that you can't help but rub against him for more. He chuckled upon realizing something, but his attention remained fixated on your face, waiting for your response. This brought you some comfort, even though you still felt a bit irritated with yourself.
You held him close and spat out, "I don't like the idea that I won't know how to make you feel good, since you’re experienced and I am not." This time, you held his face, feeling the tension taking over you, even though he had a comforting smile. "Could you guide me through it, though?" you said, not feeling as sure about it as you wanted.
You reached up to his pants, to touch and feel him, but soon he stopped, holding your wrist and bringing it over your head. 
He caressed the spot, kissed your cheek, and then leaned his forehead against yours, the strands of his hair falling over you. "Look at me," he whispered, his breath so close and ticklish. "It's ‘bout you. I don't care and I'm not expecting you to do anything, at least not for now. Just let me take care of you. We can fix it later. I'd love to guide you through the things you still don't know how to do, but for now, let me have this for you. You just have to relax, puppet." 
“Don't you mind that I don't know what to do?” You still looked uncertain, but with your body a bit more relaxed. 
His cheeks and neck turned red as he gave a lingering bite to his lips. His fingers trailed up to your waist and then to your bust once again, leaving his attention there. Despite the sensation not being new anymore, it still caught you off guard. You shivered and sighed, enjoying it. 
As he peppered kisses on your cheek, he shook his head indicating a negative response. "I find the prospect of being your first quite thrilling," he said, while his grip around you tightened, prompting you to wrap your arms around him. His gentle and welcoming tone made everything feel comfortable somehow. 
"If that's what you're saying," you replied, sensing that you were becoming more relaxed but also feeling a bit shy still, which was understandable. You snuggled closer to him, intertwining your legs with his, hoping to get as close to him as possible. "I have a thing for older guys, although I can't quite explain why, y’know?" you admitted. He nuzzled his nose deeper into your neck and chuckled softly, murmuring "my kink princess" in your ear.
You ended up laughing too, as his body collapsed onto yours, his laughter filling the air and his warmth and scent washing over you. You couldn't be more in love.
You closed your eyes in amazement, pulling your knees up to wrap around his waist. Turning to him to get his attention, you whispered, "Alex, I need you to touch me now," and this time, both of you were certain of it.
With a clumsy yet gentle touch, he removed your panties and passed the fabric solemnly over your skin. His breathing was labored, no longer out of fear, but now due to the anticipation of this moment. 
Alex went over his own words, keeping his gaze fixed on yours and attentive to every nuance. He didn't think it was a bad thing, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, even though he knew that he could spend hours staring at every inch of you.
He asked for permission once more, wanting to make sure that everything was okay. You nodded, your eyes closing quietly as his hand sank into you, bringing you comfort. His fingers touched you lightly, and all you felt was a tingling sensation, while your mouth became dry at him.
“You're already so wet, hon’.” You gazed into him, and it was evident that his every word was affecting you deeply. He could sense it. "Listen, just follow your body's lead. Don't try to force anything. Although I love having your attention, it doesn't have to be that way," he added, and you suddenly realized that you were finding it hard to stay focused on anything else.
You followed his instructions, squeezing your eyes shut and letting your head relax back onto the pillows. You could feel his breath on your face as he sighed "good girl," the pressure between your thighs increasing and your hips beginning to move in unison with his fingers. "Is it a good thing?" you asked with difficulty. It took Alex a moment to comprehend your question, and when he did, he felt a tightness in his own clothes.
"It is, babe," he murmured, lips touching your temple, the beard adding to it. "It's great, actually, it'll make it easier for you. Besides, you’re expected to be like that, no matter who you're with, okay? even though you're mine." You nodded, clutching at his shirt, which he tucked you in. You could feel how wet you were, the noises echoing through the room. 
“I don't expect to feel this way with anyone else but you," you sighed heavily. Your face fell into his chest, soft moans escaping both of you as he pleased you. Then, he reassured you that if something was wrong, you should warn him before he penetrated his fingers on you. 
He was careful and started with just one, happy with you clinging to him. You pulled yourself together, looking good, yet desperate. Clearly your throat was scratching, then you spoke quietly to him, "I want you, Al. Is this going to take long?" And he understood, couldn't help but chuckle at your sincere question. 
“Not much, babe. I'm not trying to torture you, but I want you to be prepared for it. Properly wet and stretched out for me, is that fine? So you can feel me better in you." He kissed your sweaty forehead, swearing he could feel how much wetter you got with every syllable that came out of his mouth. 
He dove deeper, still easy, using both fingers. A soft, high-pitched growl escaped your lips, which was soon kissed by Alex, followed by him repeating that he got you. It wasn't uncomfortable, but different, you still wanted him to continue. 
When things started to feel too right and your hand rested on his wrist for more, he leaned closer to your ear, not failing in complimenting your sounds and behavior, adding in such a husky tone, "I need to taste you a little bit, is that ‘kay for you? Can I, puppet?" You gazed at him, your body still all over him. Taking your time, you tried to process everything. You had understood, but your brain was struggling to fully absorb it. 
“Is this going to be good for you, like does that sound like a good thing to do?” Your brow arched and you felt the blood rise to your cheeks. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable with anything either. 
“Oh, babe, it sure does,” he couldn't find the words to describe how excited he felt, and he was pretending to be calm while he was there. "I just need you to assure me that we're going well for this, can you do that?" Soon, he found himself rubbing his fingertips more urgently on you, as if every second the idea of being the first to be between your legs, tasting you and hearing more of your incessant sighs was flooding his head. He couldn't help but be aching for you.
You nodded in agreement, soon feeling his lips bathe you in slow, tender kisses all the way to the tip of your hips.  One of your hands gripped the sheet and the other went into his hair as he watched you between caresses on your lower belly. 
"Do I have to do something?" Your brows arched, just as your back. You could feel him next to you.  You closed your legs in a blink, trying to take advantage of the friction but Alex stopped you before you could do it properly.  You felt sticky and he could see it, something that made him want to grope himself.  You were a mess. Alex knew you were ready for him, however he had been looking forward to it and now he wanted to get a taste of you and let it be marked on his tongue as urgently as possible. 
"No puppet," he collected you in his fingers, pausing a moment before letting them get lost in you.  Your body tensed at the same intensity as his mouth watered, yet he looked into your eyes that were a little worried. And even though he was inches from where he wanted to be, he completed.  "You just need to relax for me, okay angel? Lay your body down on the bed and let it guide you through that, there's nothing you have to worry about."  And just like that, your face was calm again as he took in how much his voice made you wet his fingers even more. 
You sank into the sheets, causing Alex not to linger any longer.  He ran his tongue flat, taking his time, gently moving up and down until he brushed against your clit. Your abdomen tightened and Alex let out a sigh of satisfaction, this was so much better than he'd had in mind. 
"Fuck, babe. You're so fuckin' sweet." You moaned, lifting your hips to his face.  You looked at him between your legs, eyes closed and expression relaxed as he tasted you.  You became more agitated, and Alex had already worked well on you to know that from your state you were getting close. So soon, he held you in place for him, taking advantage of the time he had. 
"Am I, Al?" You sounded weak and slurred, almost unconscious.  His attention went to you, and then maintaining eye contact, he let his fingers run over you as he sucked your juices to himself.  The noises were amazing. You continued with him, your mouth parted in a silent whimper.  It didn't take long for your thighs to wrap around him and he stopped everything, not that in fact that was his will but he didn't want to burden you on your first time.  He could do that later.
 "Alex, this was so good.  I did something wrong, why did you stop?! Was it my fault?  I didn't want you to stop, I did as you said." He chuckled lightly at your desperation, hovering over you.  He tried to get rid of the pants and all in a way that didn't look like he was in a rush, even though he knew he was failing.  Not thinking twice, Alex wrapped his hand around your neck, holding you to him and kissed you, deep and with bites to let you know how good you were doing for him.  He pulled away, still very close and his breath being shared with yours and asked. "Can you taste yourself on me?" You nodded, knowing how to differentiate the kiss before and after he has his face buried in you. 
"I like that," 
His smile widened as he went to plant kisses on your neck, to make your muscles as tense as possible for him to be on you. "We're going to have to do this more often, princess. I don't think I can let myself start to think about forgetting how you taste, huh?" 
You murmured into his shoulder, locking your arms around him.  He could swear he has a new addiction.  Your legs went to his waist and he didn't fail to hold you tight to him. Amidst your whimpers and the tears welling up in your eyes, you spoke with a parched throat, whispering that you needed him.
"Do you feel ready babe?"  He asked one more time before he sealed your lips to his, feeling your body shake as you pleaded. 
He hugged you tighter, trying to make you comfortable and snuggled into him, hoping that soon you would do the same.  And as expected, once you were tied together at the hips, you squeezed into him. Your moans were muffled by being pressed against him and he felt bad that he hadn't thought that seeing your face at that moment would be important.  He held still, waiting until you said otherwise.  Your hand roamed around the back of his neck in a relaxing way while your head was buried in his chest. At some point, which he judged was when you felt comfortable, you wrapped your legs hard into him for more contact. 
"Do you want me to move, princess?" He had a cute crease on his forehead, reflecting pure concern. You found it appealing how concerned he was about not hurting you, even though he had only made you feel good so far. 
"Please, Al. Just go slow, please." He rested his forehead on yours, watching your angelic face.  He did as you said, slowly and letting your moans guide him through it. "You look so good like this, let me hear you too." Alex didn't even realize he was holding back, he was so focused on you.  He let his husky grunts escape and loved your smile at him.  Noticing the tears streaming from your eyes he stopped, seeing you confused and panting at him.
"Am I hurtin' you?" You denied, pushing away his hair, which was falling over his forehead, and kissed his pink cheeks. 
He took it at first, but then asked again. "Are you sure you're okay, babe?" he asked as he continued to move his body, recalling your promise to inform him if something was amiss. His forehead creased and his lips parted, revealing the impact you had on him. And you were in love with it. "I'm here for you," he assured you, wiping away your tears and kissing them away, his attention fixed solely on you. 
"You are making me feel so good, Alex.  I don't think it could be better, I'm enjoying that feeling so much. You feel so great on me." You were panting, still sounding like you were in pain from pleading so hard.  Alex held your waist, going deeper yet delicate on you. You closed your eyes in silence as you felt him under your skin. "Alex, more, please, babe." You sighed in whimpers. He could discern from the look in your eyes that you were imploring for something you couldn't put into words if someone were to inquire, but he was about to reveal it to you.
His mind was suddenly invaded by the realization that you belonged to him, and him alone, and that only him could make you feel this way. No other names were uttered from your lips before but his. Only he knew your desires, your taste, and how beautiful you looked in that moment. Moreover, no one else would ever know because neither of you would let them. Alex was losing his mind to that, but in the best of ways.
In the morning, your comfortable and bare body would rest atop his, bathed in sunlight, affirming that he had you all to himself. Today, that thought had crossed his mind, but now it was an even more tangible reality, and he relished every moment of it. 
"Come for me, babe. Don't hold back, Just let your body feel it." He held your hand, guiding his hips as he rode you through it.  You looked so gorgeous before his eyes. Your eyes were closed tight and as he was watching you get there, he couldn't resist.  He held you to him, and with both of your hearts still racing, he comforted you by whispering in your ear with his husky and lazy voice. "It's okay, princess. I've got you, I always will." 
...
taglist: @ohladymoon @bloo-wisteria (if you want to be added or removed let me know!)
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coolemmasulivan · 9 months
Text
With You | 1
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Pairing: Rúben Dias x Reader
Summary: You're Bernardo Silva's sister and you and Rúben have a crush on each other. After moving to Manchester, you and him realise that some things in the past were not what it seemed.
Word count: 2099
Author’s note: English isn’t my first language.
You can read part 2 here
And I know you said that we're not talkin' But I miss you, I'm sorry
It was really happening. The excitement was almost too much to bear. You were moving to Manchester after spending your entire life surrounded by your family and friends in Portugal in the same city you grew up in.
When your brother, Bernardo, told you that his friend was starting a business and needed an architect, you immediately agreed without hesitation.
You couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness at the thought of leaving it all behind, but at the same time, the anticipation of starting a new life in a new country was almost too much to contain. You imagined yourself walking the streets of Manchester, taking in the sights and sounds of the bustling city, and meeting new people.
You knew you deserved more. You craved new experiences, challenges, and opportunities that your current situation couldn't provide. The journey ahead would be filled with highs and lows, but you were ready to face them head-on.
"Wait.. you're serious?" You could see his shocked expression over Facetime.
"Yes." You smiled. Even Ines, who was in the background taking something from the fridge, stopped to listen in on your conversation. "Why do you guys look so surprised? You knew I wanted to live abroad."
"You've been saying that since you were little! Do you know how many job offers I have given you? How long have I been trying to convince you to move here?"
You let out a sigh. "I don't remember."
"Me neither! But I know how many you rejected: all of them." He was right. He had tried to help you multiple times, but you never dared to actually do it. To leave your parents and the life you knew behind. "And I mean ALL of them."
"So why did you keep asking?"
"Because I'm your big brother. I want the best for you." He said in frustration and looked down. "And I wouldn't mind having you closer." He mumbled, making you smile.
A week later you were at the airport. You saw Ines coming towards you and her radiant smile lit up her face when she caught sight of you. You hugged and greeted each other and made your way together to Etihad Campus where you were going to surprise your brother.
Bernardo had been excited since the day he hung up the phone. He still couldn't believe you were really moving to Manchester, that he'd see his little sister every day like he used to when he was younger.
"What's going on with you? You're more cheerful than usual." Haaland asked him as he passed him the ball at practice. "Are you having twins or something?"
Bernardo laughed. "No, we're not having twins. It's my sister."
Haaland looked at him in surprise. "She's having twins?"
"NO!" They got back to the end of the line where Stones and Cancelo were waiting. "No one is having twins. She's moving here."
"Y/n's moving here?" Cancelo knew you from a long time ago, just like Rúben and all the other players in Manchester that played in the Portuguese national team. Bernardo looked like a little kid in a toy shop and nodded. "That's incredible! Have you finally convinced her?"
"Yes. I still can't believe it's happening. I thought she was messing with me."
"What does she do? Is she looking for a job, has she been transferred?"
As Bernardo began to elaborate, Stones chose to survey the field in search of Rúben. Did the defender know? No, he looks too calm and relaxed to know that his mate's sister, his crush, is moving to the same city as him. Stones thought to himself as he saw him talking to Jack and the coach.
After the training was over, Stones hurried over to Rúben. He casually put his arm around Rúben's neck, securing his attention.
"Have you heard the news?"
"What news?" Oh, his world was about to tremble!
"Guess what, Bern--"
Suddenly they were interrupted by Bernardo, who approached them with an abrupt slap on Rúben's stomach. Not expecting it, Rúben looked to his left to see Bernardo's excited expression. "She's here. My sister's here." Bernardo quickly ran off, leaving Rúben and Stones behind.
The news hit Rúben like a ton of bricks. Had he heard right? "W-what?" He stammered, his voice barely above a whisper, as he tried to process the information
"She's moving to Manchester, pal!" Stones, noticing his friend's distress, reached out and gently patted Rúben on the back. "She's moving here." Stones left, leaving Rúben behind with his heart pounding with anxiety.
"Merda!" He muttered. (Shit!)
When he got back to the dressing room after a very slow walk, stopping a lot of times, afraid you would appear in front of him, Bernardo was already out of the shower.
Stones cast a glance in his direction and let out a light-hearted chuckle. Jack on the other hand made his appearance known to the rest of the group.
"What's wrong with you? It seems like you saw a ghost. Let's go, mate! Wake up." All eyes were on him as he entered the room. Rúben remained silent and took a seat on his bench. However, Jack's focus shifted to Bernardo, who was already dressed with wet hair and grabbed his bag. Rúben was soon forgotten. "Oh, I want to meet the famous Silva sister."
Bernardo pointed his finger at him. "Don't!"
With a laugh, Jack put his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Mate, I have a girlfriend!"
Bernardo furrowed his eyebrows. "Stay away from my sister, Grealish!"
"Uhhh, Bernardinho! The big brother has claws." Ederson said, making everyone laugh.
"All of you. Stay away from her. I don't care if you're married, dating or single, she's my sister and I don't trust any of you around her."
Rúben screamed in his head. He reached for the water bottle beside him and drank it down in one go. If only your brother knew the thought he has about you... more like memories - he'd kill him.
It all happened in the UEFA Nations League when Portugal won in 2019. Bernardo had introduced the two of you a few years earlier and the sexual tension was always there. That night, the celebration took a different turn for you and Rúben.
Rúben took another sip of his beer. He couldn't remember how many he had drunk, but that was the last thing on his mind. He was more interested in you, who was across the room talking to Patrício and his wife.
He couldn't deny that you were a very - but a very - beautiful woman. With eyes that captivate everyone and a smile to die for. But deep in his head he still heard Bernardo's words from the day he had introduced you.
"Rúben, don't try anything with my sister. She's off limits. I trust you, but please, don't do it."
Coming from a small guy like your brother, it wasn't that scary, at least not for Rúben. However, his expression and the tone in which he spoke stayed with him.
Everyone knew that Rúben couldn't control himself very well when it came to alcohol, and today all he could think about was you and how much he wanted to kiss you and hold you. So without knowing what he was doing, he followed you as you left the room.
Outside he saw you walking towards the car park but soon lost you as you disappeared behind the national team bus.
He ran to catch you but didn't need to because when he got around the bus, he saw you leaning against it waiting for him.
"Are you following me, Dias?" Rúben just shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "So, what are you doing here?" You took a step towards him. "You should be celebrating."
He placed his palm on the bus, propping up his frame. "Yes, I should. I have to go back ins--"
"Unless you want to celebrate with me!" Ruben's face flushed red. He was too cute and shy for a guy who looked like a Greek god.
You had a few beers too, but you still knew what you were doing. Alcohol only helped you achieve what you had wanted for a few years.
"W-what?" You had got closer than you had ever been to each other and that was messing with his concentration.
Despite your brother's warning to steer clear of his friends, you found yourself drawn to Rúben. Even more when you tried to distance yourself. "Don't you want to celebrate with me?" He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at your lips.
"I-- we shouldn't!" You shouldn't but it was all he wanted. You grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the empty bus.
You pushed him down on the seat at the back of the bus, as you straddle his lap. His hands automatically on your thighs underneath your dress. Eyes full of lust. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Rúben was quick to kiss you back passionately, his hand gently going up and down your thighs.
"I wanted to do this since the day we met." He muttered when you started kissing his neck. You smiled and bit his ear.
"That makes two of us." You grabbed the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it off his body and over his head. Your hands tracing his toned abs.
"Are you sure?" Rúben asked as he hooked his fingers on your panties inside your dress. When you said yes, you got up from his lap and he slowly pulled your panties down your legs, stuffing them inside his pocket. He pulled you back in, but to his surprise, you got down on your knees. "Fuck! Your brother's going to kill me."
"What he doesn't know, won't kill him."
After the longest shower he had taken, Rúben got dressed and left the dressing room. As he stepped outside, he was taken aback to see Stones waiting for him, engrossed in his phone and seemingly lost in thought.
"Had a good shower, princess?" He mocked him.
Rúben closed the door behind him and put his bag over his shoulder. "What are you still doing here?"
"Waiting for you! We have dinner with Ederson and Kyle, remember?" Rúben let out a sigh. "Come on! It will distract you from Bernando's sister."
Outside the Etihad Campus, it all went down when they heard Bernardo calling their names.
"Rúben! John!"
When both players looked at the source of the voice, Rúben's heart started beating so fast that he could swear it would jump out of his chest. There you were!
"Bloody hell, is that her?" Stones whispered. Rúben was so hypnotized that he didn't even hear his friend's question. "By your puppy eyes, I guess it is."
As he laid eyes on you, he was struck by your breathtaking beauty and the familiar brightness in your eyes. As you smiled, he couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spread through him, reminding him of all the moments you had shared. Your smile, so infectious and genuine, had always been one of his favourite things about you. It always lit up your face and radiated pure joy, making everything else around you seem to fade away.
You haven't changed a little. You were not very active on social media, and unfortunately for Rúben, you liked to share more of your work than yourself. On the other hand, Rúben liked to show his face, and everything else, but no photo made him justice.
You never talked about that night. You still remembered how soft his lips were and how perfectly they felt against yours. How his warm hands ran through your body and how good he made you feel. For you it was not just sex and you thought he had understood that.
"Y/a, where are you going? Let's go." Bernardo called out when you ran off.
"I have to do something. Just give me a minute." You ran inside.
You knew that Rúben hadn't left. You wanted to tell him that what had happened on the bus was not just a drunken mistake. You wanted him to know that you really cared for him, even if your brother would disapprove.
However, as you found him, your heart sank. Leaning against the wall was Rúben with a blonde woman's tongue down his throat. The noise around you faded into the background as you stood there, alone and heartbroken.
Perhaps your brother was right: footballers were no right piece in your puzzle.
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the-power-of-stuff · 2 months
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The Live-Action Sukka Manifesto that I Just Couldn't Keep in My Head
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So I've been marinating in my live-action Sukka thoughts for the past three days, and when someone sent me an anon asking if I had any thoughts about the changes, at first I went, "DO I EVER?!" and proceeded to dump my entire brain on the page.
But then I worried maybe the anon wouldn't want to see my entire brain and figured I'd make my own post with my Many, Many Thoughts, and reel it in a bit when I answer the ask. And then link here if they're interested in the dissertation.
I'll put all the excessive details and spoilery stuff under a cut, but I'll start by saying, I didn't hate it! And I was afraid that I would.
There were things that I was bummed or had mixed feelings about, but there was also a lot that I genuinely enjoyed. All the Sukka interactions were cute and still had some decent character development, and I had fun with the episode overall (I've watched it thrice mind you, and definitely have not given the rest of the series that kind of attention). And I didn't necessarily dislike the differences from the original; I think I've just taken more of a "that was an interesting interpretation" approach.
But I better start that cut now, because I'm about to go on and on about this. I'd love to know what others think, though!! Even if the opinions aren't the same as mine! Please feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me an ask. If nothing else, I'm excited that the LA has gotten people talking about ATLA again.
So, I want to start with Suki’s characterization, which overall I found to be delightful, even if it was a bit of a watered-down version of her animated self.
In the original show, Suki is confident, sassy, and doesn’t take shit from anybody. She’s proud to the point of almost being arrogant, and even a little mean. What we get in the LA is someone who’s still confident in terms of her status and her skills, and still proud of her heritage and her role in her community, but with significantly less sass. And while LA Suki still seems like someone who wouldn’t take anyone’s shit, we don’t actually see LA Suki deal with that much shit from anyone (because Sokka isn’t really giving her any). 
There is one moment in the show where her interaction with Sokka is a little contentious, which is when he tries to relate to her as a fellow guardian of his people. I think Suki’s question to Sokka about how is he protecting his village if he’s not there is meant to be a challenge to his swagger. However, the line is delivered with a softness that makes it seem as though Suki is, at least in part, genuinely curious. (This curiosity makes even more sense when we consider the fact that Suki’s eventually going to leave Kyoshi Island so she and her Warriors can take part in the war effort, and that she will have to contend with the question of “how do you do that without abandoning your people?” when coming to that decision. The LA lays a lot more of this groundwork than the animated show did: Suki outwardly expressing her desire to see the world, her mother’s secretive looks every time Suki gazes longingly at Sokka the possibilities…)
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Compare these two moments, for example. These are both scenes where Suki expresses disbelief at Sokka's claims about his warrior-hood. But in the LA, Suki speaks rather quietly and mildly, in contrast to the brash sarcasm of her animated counterpart. LA Suki is also tilting her head down and away, looking at Sokka indirectly. OG Suki is leaning in close, getting in his face, smirking derisively with her hands on her hips.  
I think there’s something to be said about the LA in general smoothing away certain personality traits that could be seen as negatives but that are actually strengths that are so narratively well-developed they occasionally show up as flaws (for instance, Katara’s fury, or lack thereof). Animated Suki is prideful and stubborn; she berates Sokka until he gives her sad puppy-dog eyes and has zero hesitation about making an example of him in front of her whole class. It’s a little ruthless, but these traits are also 1) what gets through Sokka’s thick skull (he, too, is prideful and stubborn), and 2) what makes her such a dedicated ambassador of Kyoshi and such a strong leader of the island’s Warriors at such a young age. I feel like the LA writers were afraid of making any of the protagonists seem too abrasive—everyone in the LA has had their edges sanded down, including Zuko, including Aang—and in general this tends to lead to less realistic representations of humanity and conflict, less satisfying character development arcs, and fewer opportunities for reflection and learning. 
That being said! I went into watching the LA with negative expectations about what we would see in terms of character development, and thus was pleasantly surprised. 
The LA removed the need for Suki to be as ruthlessly stubborn as she is in the animated show because LA Sokka’s skull is not so thick (and I'll get into that a bit more later). So what we get instead is a sheltered Suki with a helicopter mom who is so hilariously awkward that she has no idea how to interact with other humans. And, to be honest, I enjoyed this version of her so much that I even thought to myself, “I wish I’d thought of that!”
Suki is a straight-up weirdo in the LA and I love that for her. The way she puts Sokka in a chokehold and then looks at him after she sets him free like, “That was good flirting, yes? Would you like to be my boyfriend now?” And then her disappointment when Sokka walks away as if she’s thinking, “Why didn’t that go well, I thought boys loved getting put in chokeholds?” She is so precious, I just want to put her in my pocket. And this characterization might even be more broadly relatable than a super-confident Suki brimming with sass. Who among us hasn’t made a complete fool of ourselves in front of a crush by coming on way too strong and having no idea how to flirt? I mean…real. 
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And because Sokka is also mostly just making a fool of himself trying to impress a pretty and talented peer (instead of covering up his insecurities by wrapping himself in misogyny) this leaves room for the two of them to be attracted to each other right off the bat and for their interactions to be more overtly romantic throughout the entire episode. Which, avid shipper that I am, I have to admit I have been gobbling up for the past three days straight. This episode was an IV drip of romantic tropes hooked straight to every Sukka shipper’s veins. 
Shy glances from across the room? Check.
Walking in on the other person half-naked? Check. (Y’all, Suki looks Sokka up and down for a FULL TWENTY SECONDS yes I timed it from the moment she appears in the background, yes you should count it to see how long that really is. Talk about awkward.) 
Tripping so they end up falling into each other’s arms? Check.
Wide-eyed shock that turns into surprise thirst after being pinned to the ground? Check.
Shooting each other satisfied smirks as they kick ass side-by-side? Check.
Jumping in front of literal fire for each other? Check and check!
Like, I could live off this for the rest of the year. 
But look, there’s a lot that I love about the way Sokka and Suki’s relationship is portrayed in this episode besides those romantically indulgent tension-creating moments, and it has to do with Suki’s admiration and validation of Sokka. 
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Suki really looked at this boy with his mouth stuffed half-full of steamed bun and went, “Must have.”
With the removal of overt sexism from this episode (for better or worse), the story focused much more heavily on Sokka’s development as a leader. He still has that sort of posturing display of self-confidence that comes from inexperience and trying too hard to prove oneself (“Ferociously…deadly tiger whales…”), and while at first Suki seems put off by this and his attempts to liken himself to her (“I’m not just a warrior, I’m a Kyoshi warrior”) it doesn’t take her long to decide (*cough*after seeing him shirtless*cough*) that she doesn’t actually mind this behavior (and in fact maybe she kind of likes it because maybe it means he likes her and maybe it means she can show him how much she likes him by slicing the tops off all those melons with her fan). She seems genuinely interested in his boomerang and impressed that he hunts, and then later, she immediately takes interest in training him in the Kyoshi Warrior style. 
After they spar, she casually refers back to the fact that he’s his village’s protector, and this time, she does it without the disbelief and defensiveness. Because he’s finally stopped posturing. He opened himself up and gave himself over to Suki’s expertise, and in that way he proved that he has the will and desire—the heart—of a warrior. And Suki tells him so while touching him gently and gazing at him longingly in the soft golden glow of the late-afternoon sun. And as a die-hard Sokka stan, I love seeing him loved and appreciated like this. Adamantly. Ardently. The Sokka cheerleader in my head is going wild. “YEESSSS!! Our boy deserves this!!” Because we know that, in the animated show, he goes through a lot more struggle and self-doubt before he receives this kind of external validation. And while we also know that this makes for an incredibly satisfying growth arc, I gotta admit that it’s a fun bit of indulgence to watch Suki talk Sokka up directly to his face and then want to kiss him really bad. Y’know. As a treat.
That said, I'm very attached to and appreciative of the way their relationship is framed in the animated series. I love that their respect and affection for each other grows even after the disaster that is their first few interactions. In the LA, they are drawn to each other immediately, and the only barrier seems to be a bit of awkward stepping-in-it-ness. In the original, they have legitimate conflict, and they both have to give a little—Sokka becomes more humble, Suki becomes more tender—before they get to that point of potential romantic interest. And I think it says a lot about Sokka’s character and his desire to learn and grow that he is willing to humble himself in front of someone who, as far as he’s seen, has very little regard for him (slash has a good deal of animosity towards him). Giving himself over to Suki’s expertise costs him more in the animated show. But once he does, he and Suki learn and grow together. He shows Suki who he really is, shows her how dedicated and determined (and fun and a quick learner) he is, to the point that, by the end of the episode, she can allow herself to be vulnerable with him. And she does validate him in the original Kyoshi Warriors episode, just less directly than the LA. Her kiss on his cheek and “...but I’m a girl, too” is about forgiveness and acceptance and acknowledgement and respect, as much as or even more than it is about affection. There’s a little bit of romance, too, but it’s just little baby seeds of it, and it feels very natural to let those seeds germinate over time until we see Suki again later in the series. 
Which brings me to the live-action kiss. 
I’ll be honest, I was a little on the fence about the kiss. I want Sokka and Suki to kiss as much as possible in every conceivable universe. So there’s a part of me that was banging on the table and whistling with obscene joy. But the other part of me thought it was too much too soon. However, my hesitance pre-supposes some things about the second season (not least of which that there will be one), namely that it will handle the reunion with Suki and crossing the Serpent’s Pass anything like how it was done in the original. (Of course, one thing we now know for certain can't happen in a hypothetical LA season 2 is Suki pranking Sokka at the ferry station because he doesn't recognize her without her makeup. Do I love the expression on LA Sokka's face the first time he sees Suki's? Yes. Am I sad that this completely ruins their whole "You don't remember me? Maybe you'll remember this!" game? Also yes. But truthfully, I don't know if LA Suki would've been up to the prank, anyway. Not sassy enough. ;))
The Serpent’s Pass is one of my favorite episodes of all time, and that moment on the bluffs when Sokka and Suki are talking around Sokka’s loss, with the moon shining down on them all the while, and they almost kiss with the moon hanging between them in the background, and then Sokka pulls away without any other explanation besides, “I can’t”? That scene is so absurdly powerful and beautiful and an amazing moment of character development for them both, and I feel like it loses a lot of impact if they’ve already made out once. The fact that they kiss for the first time after that moonlit moment, when Sokka realizes that Suki doesn’t need protecting the way he thought she did, and in fact she was there to protect him, and he can finally just let go of this burden that he’s been carrying with him since Suki first mentioned she was joining them (slash since his dad put him in charge of an entire village at 13), and then and only then can he open his heart to what he feels for Suki, and in fact opens it so wide that he just cannot help but jam his mouth onto hers before she’s even finished talking…? I mean. C’mon. That’s poetry. But, again…loses impact if they’ve already had a first kiss.
But who knows what, if anything, they’ll actually do with that storyline. So for now, I’ll just enjoy my live-action Sukka kiss because, honestly, dream come true.    
Or almost a dream come true. Because there's a huge camelephant in the room that I haven't addressed yet, isn't there? The lack of Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform...
And I don’t think we can talk about the omission of Sokka’s Kyoshi Warrior uniform without talking about the omission of Sokka’s sexism. Because if Sokka isn’t sexist, then why do you have to put him in the dress and makeup of traditionally female warriors to make a point about how women are strong and capable, too? So here’s what I’ll say about that (and I know there’s a lot that people have said already, so I’ll try not to belabor the point.) I don’t think leaving out Sokka’s sexism was necessarily a detriment to his character arc. I do think, however, that leaving out Sokka’s sexism was a detriment to the message the show was trying to convey about sexism. 
Now, in the Northern Water Tribe episodes, the LA still gives us a message about fighting against the kind of systemic, institutionalized sexism that you might not be surprised to encounter within a very old-fashioned society or from a very old-fashioned gray-haired man. But what about the off-the-cuff, everyday kind of sexism that you might experience from an otherwise good person who is close to you? A person who loves you and would do anything for you but who gets carried away teasing you about “girly” things because of intrinsically-held biases that they’re not even that conscious of having? 
I think it’s important and meaningful for male and female audiences alike, and everyone in between, to see these different forms of sexism and misogyny—to see them, to recognize those behaviors in others and in ourselves, to be able to name them, and to have examples of fighting against them. We see the former kind—institutionalized, systemic—in Pakku. And we did see the latter kind—familiar, personal—in Sokka. And now that’s lost.
Not only that, but there’s the form of sexism that says boys aren’t allowed to do feminine things lest they relinquish their maleness. And in the animated show, we got to see Sokka combating this form of sexism, too. Not only does Suki show him that girls can be fierce warriors as well as boys, but he learns that wearing makeup and a dress does not make him any less of a young man.  
So, yes, I think the lack of Sokka in Kyoshi Warrior garb was a missed opportunity. And not just because Sokka looked really good in uniform and we all should have had the chance to see that, including and especially Suki. 
Alright, this is more than long enough, so I'll leave off with a moment from the LA that gave me great pleasure.
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I needed this moment, y'all. And I was so afraid it wouldn't happen. I needed Sokka being protective, I needed him using his newfound Kyoshi Warrior skills to fight, and I needed him jumping in front of fire for the girl who'd taught him. If we couldn't have Sokka in the Kyoshi Warrior uniform, at least we had this.
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vincord · 3 months
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Borderline Kotoko and why.
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(I'm not a psychiatrist, a specialist, or anyone else. Everything that follows is just my own vision of the character as a person with bpd. I like to headcanoning to my favorite characters what I have, especially if I see similarities with their feelings/behavior/relationships. I don't headcanon to the characters and my kins what I don't have myself and what I don't know much about. It's just a hedcanon and you may disagree with it, if you want.)
Since her second MV has been released, I can finally put all my thoughts together and write this post. (thanks to my mutual who told me to post this here. Without her little support, I wouldn't have done it)
I would like to start by saying that it is obvious that Kotoko divides the world into black and white, good and evil, allies and enemies. This is one of the main themes that can be traced throughout Kotoko's narrative. There is no middle ground for her, It's either this or that. This hinders Kotoko in her relationships with others, it hinders her in her relationship with herself and the perception of everything that is happening around her.
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation.
During all this time, it has been shown how Kotoko is able to idealize people or just treat them well, but then push them away from her if they do or say something that undermines her trust in them. She takes a defensive position, because an opinion different from hers is equated with a threat and danger.
"Lucky"
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Kotoko treats the rescued girl quite well only as long as she doesn't read the news.
_ Kazui
The 1st trial. Question 6.
"Who's the prisoner you have the most interest in?" Kotoko: It's hard to say. As of now, if it's about whose character I can't quite grasp, it'd be Kazui with his strong sense of intellectual curiosity.
The 2nd trial. Timeline (2022/08/05)
Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.
She is interested in him and communicating with him. They really have common topics to talk about and maybe they could even get along. But he does something that she doesn't like and is directed against her and her ideals. Kazui stands up for those whom Kotoko planned to punish, thereby turning her against himself, despite the small number of common themes that seemed to make her a little more loyal to him. This act alone is enough for her to instantly begin to see him as an enemy, not an ally. _
Es
Kotoko's idealization and disillusionment with people are best manifested in her relationship with Es. In the beginning, she offers them cooperation, seeing that Milgram is somewhat similar to what she adheres to, only to push them away when her opinion was not agreed.
The 1st trial. Voice drama.
Kotoko: Some scenes.. you can only see it in a cell. Because you and I are the same, always observing the other prisoners.
Es: Kotoko. A person like you.. What have you planned? Kotoko: Heh. Me, I want to be like you. There's no way I can tolerate sin.
Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your true intentions. And I don't know whether you are a similar person with similar thoughts. Who knows, maybe it's just my delusion of wishful thinking.
The 2nd trial. Voice drama.
Es: Listen to me. You're wrong. Kotoko: What? We've decided to work together, so i've become your fangs.
Es: That's enough. We have different views on it. I'm not continuing to work with you.
Beginning. They make it clear to her that they disagree with her and consider her wrong.
Es: Kotoko. I will not do what you say. I will determine the way i see both sin and punishment as i want it. It may seem wrong from your point of view. And that's understandable. I'm pretty aware of it.
Kotoko: How ridiculous... It's always like this... All of you weaklings always act like this... All of you enjoy seeing someone getting hurt...
Kotoko: You keep asking for it, but as soon as it happens near you by your own choice, you all start complaining and evading your responsibility... You're always like this... Always such idiots!
Kotoko: You have no power, and yet you make no effort to gain it! You're talking about justice, but it just doesn't make sence! You're invested in people's disasters, yet you take a position of "i have nothing to do with it"! You can't even face your true selves!
Ending. After they disagree with Kotoko, she instantly forgets everything she said before. Now they are no longer similar people with similar interests. Now Es is the exact opposite of that. _
It is also worth recalling that since her birthday in 2022 to birthday in 2023, Kotoko has never contacted any of the other prisoners. She isolated herself from her surroundings for quite a long time, only to then offend them all. She didn't trust any of them before, but now, when she sees that no one agrees with her, she has done everything to build a barrier between them and herself.
Most people with BPD react sharply to rejection, disagreement with them, actions directed against them, and so on, which they can interpret as betrayal and something that threatens their own safety. Sometimes it doesn't matter what a person has done or said. The reaction to this can be strong and vivid. ___
Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
Here I focus only on paranoia and stress. Kotoko doesn't trust anyone, she's always tense and wary. Even in simple conversations with prisoners, she may feel threatened and something directed against herself. Actually, there is already a post that would fit this point and which is a little more detailed. It says more about PTSD, but still.
The 1st trial. Timeline (2020/05/30)
Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? But it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sport? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts? Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that? Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you do like yoga or something? Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or are just an airhead.
The 1st trial. Timeline (2020/07/09)
Kotoko: Kazui, you do martial arts right. ……what type? Judo? Kazui: Ah, my main is…… judo, and kendo. I also know a little bit of karate. You must have some martial arts experience too, right, Yuzuriha-chan? I can tell by looking. Hmm… probably a combat type…… I’m guessing not karate…… is it Taekwondo? Kotoko: ……I’m not telling you. Stop ogling me like that. It’s gross. Kazui: I-isn’t that a bit unfair?
+ Literally this moment.
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___
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) +
Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events
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In both of her MVs, from time to time there is a sudden transition to wolves, the red moon and Kotoko's inner world, during which she gives free rein to her emotions. It's like emotional outbursts and outbursts of aggression, the appearance of which you cannot predict, which is why they cause damage both to the one who has them, and, perhaps, to those who are around.
Not that I can say anything about symbolism, I don't think i understand it. But since this is my post and my headcanon, I can interpret what is happening the way I want.
For all its secrecy and unsociability, most of Kotoko's outfits are quite open, compared to the outfit with the red jacket. When she's in this outfit, she's either in her inner world, or with an emotional outburst, or hurting someone. Wearing a hood is an attempt to protect yourself from the outside world and the people around you, to keep all your emotions to yourself, which are already suppressed. Kotoko, with her hood up, is cold and aloof from everyone. She builds a kind of wall between herself and the others. When she removes the hood from her head, she breaks down these walls, allowing a bunch of different emotions to break out and mix.
I would also like to mention how she sounds in her second voice drama and second song. She goes from emotion to emotion and pretty quickly. The way she quickly goes from laughter to intense anger, from intense anger to utter despair and is on the verge of tears, only to then return to anger again, and then suddenly quiet down. ___
Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self +
Chronic feelings of emptiness
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The 1st trial. Question 1
"Just who are you?" Kotoko: Yuzuriha Kotoko. Someone who plans to fight for your sake. Well, that depends on you too, though.
Kotoko doesn't perceive herself as a person, but rather as a tool to achieve a particular goal. Someone who will do the dirty work that others won't do. She has a first name, last name, age, and that's all. Her whole definition goes through her own ideals, which she desperately clings to and clings to. Kotoko's views are radical and in most cases don't imply compromises. She's either a hero or nobody, so she always needs a reason to follow her ideals and do everything according to them.
Otherwise, there will be nothing left of her. ___
What can I say at the end? Well, this is my headcannon and that's it. I could have forgotten something, made a mistake somewhere, or not completed it. It's hard for me to keep track of it.
Kotoko is one of my favorite characters and some of the things related to her evoke a strong response in me, even if these things show the negative side of the personality and cause a pang of guilt/dislike. It's like you're being shown those disadvantages of yours that you're trying to ignore.
I like to think that she crushes a lot of emotions inside herself, trying not to let them escape. I like to think that sometimes she's afraid of herself, and sometimes she's not. Her cooperation with someone is both a feeling of being needed, and avoiding loneliness, and a moment of socialization. But she can't stand it, because any little thing or the wrong word triggers a survival mode in her head, which is why she builds high walls between herself and the environment again.
I have a lot of thoughts about her. I just wanted to pour at least a small part of these thoughts out of my head into a relatively structured post and that's all. Thanks for reading it. I've been carrying it all in my head for quite a long time and I don't want to wait for the release of her answers to the questions, you know...
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thelostgirl21 · 2 months
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I wish there was a way to clearly say:
I'm personally comfortable being called a "woman", only because I have the sexual dimorphism typically associated with a female of the human species, and that's how other people see me as when they look at my physical appearance; nothing more.
While making 100% sure not to accidentally bring any harm to the trans community, or making it sound like one's gender identity should always match their physical appearance, when that's far from being the case.
Because, until very recently, I'd always been calling myself "a girl", or "a woman" exclusively based on how I physically look.
To me, defining myself as "a woman", has always been the equivalent of describing an external characteristic of my body that others are able to see.
- I'm a woman.
- I'm 5'7''.
- I have brown eyes.
- etc.
It's always been exactly the same to me. It's what you can physically see, not who I am.
Somehow, it's like I completely forgot to develop a sense of personal identity tied to "being a woman" while I was growing up.
I could wake up tomorrow with a body that has the sexual dimorphism of a male of my species instead, have everyone call me a man and suddenly have to live my life as one, and I'd have only ONE problem with it.
Just the one.
My partner is a heterosexual man, so that would be a challenge.
But otherwise, I think I'd just be really curious to explore the physiological differences between my prior body and my new body, and then move on with my life without changing a single thing to the things I like, my behavior in general, personal interests, probably the way I like to dress, too, etc.
I'd just be "looking more masculine" while doing it.
It would be like having blonde short hair instead of my current brown long hair.
The rest of the world would treat me differently as a man, sure! But that wouldn't reflect how I identify or feel inside about who I am.
Just how others now see me as and choose to socially treat me.
My gender, to me, is something that's always existed outside of myself.
I have no personal use for it, nor is it a part of my personality.
I guess I've often been gender-non-conforming, too, not because I was attempting to rebel against my own gender, felt a need to distance myself from the binary, or anything... But just because I've never seen the point of it.
I've had boyfriends telling me that it was like I wanted to be the "man in the relationship", and being upset that I wasn't letting them play their role at times (that hasn't really been an issue with women, oddly enough); and I broke up with them without looking back, because what the fuck was that even supposed to mean?
I wasn't trying to behave like a man or a woman, I was just being myself, and adopting the social roles and behaviors I'm comfortable with. If you can't love me as I am, then what am I supposed to do?
Younger, I've had little boys back at school telling me that "it was weird for a girl to like certain things or express herself a certain way", and my response has always pretty much been to shrug, go "guess I'm a weird girl then", and then continue doing things my way.
(Yes, I'm aware that I've been very privileged to live in a world where I've merely been occasionally bullied or suffered verbal micro-agressions for ignoring the social standards set for "little girls"... Then again, I've probably embraced some of them!
I loved playing with my "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe set", or walking around with a lightsaber pretending to be Luke Skywalker... But I was cool with "My Little Poney" (the originals) and "Rainbow Bright", too!
Like I said, I wasn't trying to be "non-conforming", I just liked whatever I liked!
I was also lucky enough that my parents fully allowed me to go for what I enjoyed in terms of toys, games, activities, playmates, etc., regardless of gender.
And my physical appearance as a child occasionally had people mistaking me for a boy. So, perhaps, the other adults that saw me behave as one in public assumed I was one, and thus put less pressure on me to behave in a way that would have been deemed more "feminine" than "masculine".
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By the point I really started looking more "feminine" (like I do now), I guess I'd moved past caring about it, and/or had reached a point where it made no sense to me that it would suddenly have been upsetting that I occasionally behaved "as a boy" or enjoyed "boy things" now when, until then, it had always been perfectly fine and well accepted that I did!
I guess there's something to be said about the influence of early socialisation, and how adults in the social environment of a child respond to a young child's gender, in the level of importance they might instinctively give to it later on.)
Like, I'm pretty sure that, if I were to ask you to determine my gender based on my looks alone (while fully giving you permission to do it), especially when I'm performing on stage wearing makeup, you'd go "you're a woman!" with a fair level of confidence!
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But that's just it! To me that's just the way I look. A stylistic choice based on the way my body chose to develop, if you will.
What drives me nuts, though, is that I have zero problem empathizing with the trans community and their need to express their own gender identity, because I know what it feels like to need to be seen and respected as one's authentic self!
You tell me you identify as a woman, a man, agender, genderfae, etc., and/or feel a need to express it? Be yourself, and rock that gender! It is who you are, and it is your right to own it!
The fact that I feel like I don't have any particular use or need for gender doesn't mean that it can't be important for others, and that they don't have a use or need for it themselves.
Just because I don't intimately understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist or doesn't matter. It doesn't mean that I can't support, and actively advocate for proper gender recognition and respect in schools and other public places.
I "get it" without "getting it", if you will.
The problem, however, is that I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea that, if I identify as a "woman", people will assume that it means more to me than "I physically look female".
That it will be assumed that I emotionally and psychologically connect with my gender, and feel a need to express it, or a sense of attachment and belonging to the woman gender.
After having called the way my physical body "looks" to others on the outside "being a woman" for decades, it's hard for me to suddenly go "being a woman is not the same as passing for a woman, it's about the gender you identify with inside..." and stop calling myself a woman, because I feel like I've no gender identity inside of myself.
But "agender" doesn't quite feel right to me, either, because I'd never had any problem with the idea of being a woman, until I learned that I was supposed to give a damn about being a woman, and personally connect with my gender, that is.
And "gender non-conforming" doesn't sound quite right, either, because I'm not trying to avoid conforming to the woman gender, or expressing a different gender than the one that was assigned to me at birth.
They basically gave me a gender based on my genitalia when I was born, and I went "Yeah, sure! I guess I can look the part... Why not?"; while ignoring the whole social instructions booklet and guidelines that went with it.
So lately, every time someone has asked me what my gender is, or what gender I identify with, I've had a tendency to freeze, panic, and mentally go:
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Like the idea of my having a gender makes no internal sense to me. It's not something I can relate to, "vibe with", or identify with.
Is there a way to respectfully say "I'm calling myself a woman for convenience's sake, because that's the gender traditionally associated with the way I look, and I'm okay with having grown into a feminine appearance by default? But please, don't assume it means anything to me beyond that, or expect me to behave, dress, or do anything according to the woman gender."
I've been using "gender apathetic" in an attempt to convey it, but is that really what it means, and how most people understand it?
Basically, I feel like my answers to these questions would be:
- What physical look do you most resemble? Woman / feminine / female.
- What gender do you identify with? None.
- Do you feel comfortable being called a woman, and her / she pronouns, based on the way you look? Yes.
How do you freaking call or define that?
Non-internalized cisgenderism?
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