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matt-murdick · 1 year

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Others have explained their reasoning before, but I'm wondering, why do you think each original sibling never undaggered Finn? With the obv exception of Freya. But would she have undaggered him immediately? 🤔

Great question, thank you for asking. This is just my opinion so if anyone has other ideas feel free to add to this and make it a discussion. (I do not proof read, I can only hope this is legible)

The reasons offered by canon definately contribute to Finn’s siblings keeping him daggered. The two main ones to me (from canon) are that Finn’s morality made him a difficult person to be around and that he hated being a vampire, they were worried about him.

I mean, Klaus was willing to let Elijah believe that he had tossed all his siblings into the ocean where they could never be reached, just because he found Elijah’s moral crusade annoying. Finn hated everything about vampirism and he let them know. He complained about their bloodlust, how easily they gave into their bloodlust, how unnatural they species was — if you were already struggling with what you’d become and you were trying to make the most out of it, this shit is the last thing you need to hear. I always assume this stifling morality of his is what they’re talking about when they call him dull.

Elijah brings up the concern that Finn would be a danger to himself. Honestly, if they were running from Mikael and his siblings could see him consider just giving in and dying every time, that’s scary. And I know what people say, “he had Sage, he was the happiest he had ever been.” Sure. But you can’t expect a depressed person to stop being depressed just because they’re in love, so why would they think that loving Sage would make Finn content being a vampire. (H/C Finn was depressed as a human, vampirism amplified that, being a vampire added to it. Finn struggled to connect to his siblings after Freya. They had probably never seen him struggling like that until they were forced together with volatile emotions. It’s hard to watch people you care about, who you’d always seen as strong, break down).

Once Finn has been daggered for a while, it’s easy to leave him that way. He was hard to be around. I don’t think they ever actually forgot him or that they were purposefully abandoning him, like Finn thought, but I do think he slipped their mind. It was easier without him, they had their own issues to worry about, and vampires don’t feel the passage of time. Also, they didn’t know it was hurting him. This is a big thing to remember. As far as the rest of the Mikaelsons are concerned, a dagger to the heart is a magic pause button. It’s annoying but it was never meant to hurt Finn. Would they still have done it if they knew? That’s a different question that I won’t go into, but it’s worth a thought. These reasons apply to all his siblings, I’ll try not to repeat them.

First thing I consider is that Klaus had just killed the Brotherhood of Five before undaggering his siblings, and so is suffering from the Hunter’s Curse for the first 53 years of Finn being daggered. (I like to think it kicking in is one of the reasons he didn’t undagger Finn)

Klaus is literally obsessed with his family, he probably didn’t like that Finn was off with Sage all the time. Remember this guy kills all his siblings’ lovers, and maybe he hasn’t started that yet or Sage is the exception bc she came before that urge or he can recognise that these two are actually devoted to each other unlike the other lovers he’s killed. I mean, even 900 years later Klaus still hadn’t killed her. I’m sure she’s a survivor (and don’t get me started on the possible relationship dynamics between Sage and the rest of the Mikaelsons), but if Klaus wanted her dead then she probably would be. He’s an original. They’re only beatable in the shows bc you can’t overpower regularly appearing characters or there would be no conflict.

So initially, I think Klaus’ reason is his paranoia and fear of his siblings leaving him, enhanced by the Hunters Curse. I actually like to think that by having one of his siblings daggered and therefore unable to harm or leave him, was probably a great comfort for him during this time. Although that would have lessened when the curse ends, the sentiment continues. Klaus needs to know where his family are, and he needs to keep them safe from Mikael. He’s a little control freak and this is a great way for him to exercise that and keep his wandering brother close by.

My understanding of Elijah is that he takes responsibility for pretty much everything that happens in his family and whilst he may have preferred to undagger Finn, he always prioritises Klaus over the rest of his family (from the guilt over Mikael and Aurora, until the anger at Klaus effectively killing their family for good outweighs that, then it comes back). If Elijah considered daggered!Finn to be a benefit to Klaus whilst under the Hunter’s Curse, he’s absolutely gonna allow it. It’s benefitting Klaus, and it’s ‘not hurting’ Finn. So why wouldn’t he? He’s probably defending the idea, and laying it out as though it’s the most reasonable option.

I think Rebekah was definitely pro-undaggering Finn. But I think she’d find Elijah’s justifications convincing. She’d probably feel the most guilty about it, so she’d try not to think about it. Still, she’s much closer to Klaus and Elijah than her other brothers.

I don’t think Kol minded much. Finn was a good ten years older than him and if they were ever close it would probably be more parental than fraternal, to cope with Mikael and Esther’s poor parenting and the trauma of Finn losing Freya and then struggling to connect to his siblings. They seem to have had a somewhat hostile relationship from at least the Martell period (pretty typical of siblings ngl) but Kol seemed most antagonised by Finn’s betrayal in TVD (indicative of a closer relationship than with Esther). I personally think his loss of magic and lack of control over his thirst probably made him the most affected by Finn’s anti-vampire campaign. Kol seems to like trying to ignore the pain a situation causes him by drowning it out (loss of magic leads to extra bloodlust). I think he was glad not to have to deal with it and if he ever felt bad? Well, it was Klaus that kept him in the box. Not Kol.

I think the important thing to consider with Freya is that she’s just as desperate for her family as Klaus is. If she got to them earlier then she would absolutely undagger Finn. He’s her baby brother, he’s the only one who would be able to remember her, and there is no way she’ll be able to convince The Original Vampires that she is their witch-sister-who-‘died’-and-even-if-she-hadn’t-she-would-defo-be-dead-over-one-hundred-years-later without Finn or Esther (or even the threat of Dahlia) there to back up her claims. Freya would undagger him immediately out of both sentiment and practicality. The only reason she wouldn’t undagger him is if she was convinced it would harm him, and his “suicidal tendencies” would not cut it for her. Tbh I think Freya would think that it’s an exaggeration and that she could help fix it. So yeah, if Freya is out then so is Finn.

(A Doylist answer would be that he was invented right before his first appearance and they kept him daggered so he would be pissed at them and put his Cain instincts into play. Also laziness. But that’s boring so Watsonian answers only.)

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taptrial2 · 5 months

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i hate to say it but queer is normalized because its been used for the community since the 80s and earlier. there is power in the word and if you cant handle that then i think you need to look inward about why youre uncomfortable with a term that has been regularly and comfortably used by the LGBT community without much pain.

are you made uncomfortable by lesbians calling themselves dykes? finding power, comfort jn that word? about gay men calling themselves fags? queens? fruits? those are all slurs, and theyve all been reclaimed and loved by their respective communities

your post shows sarcasm and a severe lack of appreciation for the individuals who have died and put in work to remove the power of that word from cishet people. if youre uncomfortable and if youre trying to take that word from queer people, then youre giving power back to the oppressor.

ive been active in irl and online lgbt spaces for years and i know all of this history already. you putting words in my mouth about this topic shows how little you actually respect me, not to mention the comfort of other people in your community. this is the anon that was complaining about me not posting their ask btw

i know gay infighting is stupid but im unemployed and sometimes i slapfight for sport. also this ask makes a whole lot of assumptions and comes across as very condescending and holier than thou, so cool

#exoticbutterstxt #q slur #d slur #f slur

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eisforeidolon · 2 years

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Trying to navigate the spn fandom with the Jared and Jensen hate has not been easy. I have decided just to enjoy the projects they do I'm interested in and ignore the rest. How have you managed to keep so level headed with the constant craziness and infighting amongst the various fan groups? I always appreciate your thorough replies to asks.

Thanks, anon! Although I'm not always as level-headed as I'd like to be, there are a couple of things that I try to do and remember to keep from getting too wound up about anything that goes on in the various factions.

First, I try to remember that it's just fandom and sometimes fandom is pretty fucking blinkered or just straight up dumb. Especially when we're talking about the opinion of some random blog in their own space, what does it really matter? Opinions, assholes, etc. And that's when it's even a take you can actually consider seriously. Some of the shit like complaining about the way Jensen poses for pictures or Jared sits on chairs is just so inconsequential, absurdly petty, and childish? I really do just find it more funny than anything. Like, you're so determined at that point to fixate on hating an actor you've resorted to analyzing that for something to be buttmad about? LOL, okay.

It's a lot harder to not steam over the crap that gets sent directly to the actors - like the creepy fetishistic RPF posted on the SM of Jensen and his business/projects, the suicide bait/death threats to Jared, and the attempts to slander both Js with faux social justice bullshit. Which, first, mostly come from hellers who we have years of knowing are Like That (a lot of what made the aftermath of prequelgate so hard was the seemingly sudden schism of it). For that stuff, I generally figure J2 are probably not personally regularly wading through the sewer that is their SM, so hopefully a lot of it goes unseen. I also figure that they're mature enough and have good enough support to see that fandom has some unhinged people in it who are acting out for attention and it's not really about them. Furthermore, outsiders with a working brain are going to see it for exactly what it is - butthurt, entitled fans that need to get a fucking grip. That doesn't make it not creepy, not hurtful, or remotely fucking okay, but knowing most of it probably isn't hitting its mark and won't generally move beyond the fandom does help a bit. Especially in the context of knowing that you can't actually stop it because twitter really is for trolls and assholes. They can always make more accounts.

Second, when I really can't get something out of my head, because I keep seeing it over and over again, or one thing or another just sticks in my craw for some reason? I post about it. Sitting down and organizing my thoughts "on paper" seems like it helps me feel like I've dealt with it, in a way? I can't stop bad takes, but I can make it clear that there are obvious other takes which exist and make my best case for why my take is better - or at least a reasonable alternative. That's actually what lead me to make a blog way way back in the beginning, just constant annoyance at really bad takes analyzing the show. I knew then I wasn't going to change the minds of detestiel truthers and I know now I'm not going to change the minds of hardcore J haters, but there are a lot more people in fandom than just the extremists and it can help to see that you're not alone in disagreeing with opinions that can seem overly ubiquitous.

Third, when I still can't get away from something, or even one of the petty things hits particularly hard on an already bad day? I walk away for a bit. Stay only on blogs I know don't play into the drama. Do something else that takes enough of my focus to keep me off tumblr for at least a few hours/days - read or work on fanfic, play the sims, rewatch a canon. Come back after I've had a chance to cool off and remember that it really is just fandumb.

#askboxery #anonymous #anti actor stans #long post

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purplesurveys · 1 year

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1621

Has a friend ever betrayed you? Yup.

Is teenage pregnancy common in your area? Not here particularly, but it’s pretty rampant in the poorer parts of Manila.

Do you see the new year as a fresh start? Yeah more or less. Many people I know have been adopting the idea that any day can be the start of a new page as long as you treat it as such; but idk, seeing the calendar turn to January 1 is the kind of ‘fresh start’ that calms me and motivates me to try new things. Or maybe I’m just a procrastinator through and through, lmao.

How many children do you want, if any? 2 at the most.

Is the song Alejandro by Lady GaGa on your iPod? Assuming you have one -_- Yeah I most likely did. My sister owned a CD of The Fame Monster so I probably borrowed that and uploaded it on my iTunes as I loved that album.

How much do you need to drink to get drunk? If we’re measuring in terms of beer, one bottle. My tolerance is horrible.

Where were you this time yesterday? Already fast asleep in bed.

Do you believe in the death penalty? Nah, mainly because I am in the belief that it’s too easy of a way out for those who’ve done truly disgusting crimes. Like why just off them? Let them rot.

Do you know anybody called Valerie? I’m pretty sure I know at least one person who has it as a middle name, but I just can’t place them at the moment.

Do your parents own their house or is it rented? They own it.

Are you a fan of The Smiths? Wouldn’t say I am, no.

Do you read the newspaper often? No. I can’t even remember the last time I saw one.

Have you ever joined in a protest? If so, what against? Yeah, when it was announced that Marcos was going to be transferred to the Heroes’ Cemetery. Profs in my university deadass cancelled classes for that day and encouraged us to join the quickly-organized protest, which I remain grateful for and proud of. I also joined a few here and there that were more general protests against the government and their policies.

Do people ever complain that you're too quiet? Wow, complain? That’s such a harsh reaction. Anyway, no this hasn’t really happened because...well, I’m never quiet lol. Do you smoke? If so, how many do you smoke a day? Nah. Tried it a few times, didn’t spark anything in me. Still prefer vaping. Do you know anyone that's ever suffered from post natal depression? No, also because I am never around that many moms lol.

How good are your reflexes? Better than average, I would say.

Who is the person that tends to anger you the most? Myself. I try not to get angry at people.

Do you know what career you want? I like where I’m at! I always knew I was meant for a career that would involve writing and media and communications; I never really struggled with this.

Do you enjoy dancing? Only if I’m alone or have had a few drinks, sure.

Did you pay the last time you saw a movie or did someone pay for you? I paid for it.

Are you currently on a diet? Nopes.

Do you use predictive text? It’s a thing on my keyboard but I literally never use it.

Are you a member of a gym? Nah. Hate the idea of working out.

When did you last use public transport? Uhm. A Grab doesn’t count, right? Hahahaha uhhhhhhhhhhh IDK man. I don’t commute and haven’t been inside a jeep since college days.

Are you worried about anything right now? No. But also it is 3 AM and worrying is the last thing I want to do rn.

Do you tan easily? It takes a while. But generally I don’t tan regularly unless I’m at the beach, because I already am.

What's your favourite song at the moment? Closer by RM, Paul Blanco, and Mahalia.

Do you 'ship' any particular pairings from a tv show? Monica and Chandler from Friends; Glenn and Maggie from TWD.

Are you good at talking yourself out of sticky situations? It’s a hit or miss.

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chromecries · 2 years

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Oh I completely agree in regards to MCC 20: it was an amazing event, with amazing teams, and so much to celebrate. I know I really wanted either Pete or H to become the 1st 5-time winner, and I was so elated it was H because not only is he a top tier player, he also has such a great attitude that makes him so enjoyable to watch even outside of MCC. Him becoming a 5 time winner on a team with three first time winners was the cherry on top, and Ant, 5up and Gem did excellently throughout the event too. Not to mention Scar's debut and the Hermits vs Hermit Dodgebolt. I guess I should have said that, D-Team's absence in addition to everything else is what made MCC 20 so great.

The player-benching system is probably the main thing that frustrates me about MCC because I just don't think there's a need for the same 15 or so people with high viewer counts to be in every single event, while some others can play only once every 3 events even if they sign up every time. Even just 3-5 of those people being benched once in a while can open up spots for others to be in an event. People are always like "it's about views and exposure, no bigger streamers, no MCC" but it's not like MCC's total viewership would go down to zero if, god forbid, George or Tommy were benched for one event? Every other player still has their own audience that would happily watch and discuss the event regardless. It makes me sad re: Illumina in particular because he's by far the best player of S2 and he doesn't even get to be in half the events. Even Quig, who's been there since MCC 1 and played a role in getting the event off the ground, has been benched now, but you know for a fact Dream or Sapnap never will be. I definitely try to uplift and celebrate my favorite teams and players more than complaining about things I don't like, and I fully agree with you that the focus should definitely be on positivity because otherwise the event can get soured for you really quickly, but I'd also be lying if I said there weren't things that I wished were done differently, so thanks for letting me air that out in your inbox lol

no worries at all abt mentioning everything else in mcc20 i totally get where you were coming from !! i 100% agree w you on the second half illumina is already so strong and i think if he had more experience or say played in the same amount of events that others have had he would have those 'star moments' that reddit is so obsessed with and the recency bias would help other people see how consistent and well rounded he is :) and yeah. i have so much to say abt the waitlist and players in events and players who are benched and players who shouldve been in TIME ago but we will save that for a rainy day but i agree w you on benching some of the bigger streamers more regularly, its just unfortunate because you know who will be upset that certain streamers are benched and who wont be too upset when their streamers are benched :/ ofc, i also wish some things went differently but we move! maybe you can catch me on one of my hate days anon bc ill definitely bring all this shit up again and rage and itll be a fun show :)

#asks

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skllwinx · 2 years

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I recently started to write down my headcanons, for now it’s mainly about Helia and his relationships and I wanted to share it with you

* as usual, I apologize if you notice any spelling or grammatical errors (you will probably) English is not my first language but I’m trying my best *

Helia’s face is quite symmetrical. He has thin traits, balanced lips, defined jawline and a strong nose from the side.

He has a pale and thin skin with a small scar on his cheek due to one of his first sword training with Codatorta.

Helia doesn’t show it but he has anxiety and he overthinks a lot since a very young age.

That’s what causes eczema on his elbows and forearms particularly the last year before his departure from Red Fountain.

Now he has almost cured it with some CBD pomade his mother’s made him.

Du to stress Helia also already has few white hair starting to grow on his temples which contrast on his natural deep black hair.

He kinda likes it, actually he relativizes a lot about his appearance.

The majority of the boys in Red Fountain don’t like to show out they take care of themselves other than working out and taking their “necessary shower daily”.

But Helia always thought different and cherishes those moments of the day, after the trainings and the lessons, where he can enjoy his self time with a deserved shower, his regular face shaving and his meditation sessions.

Helia enjoys sharing good quality time and conversations with people he likes. He hates phone calls or texting (unless when it’s necessary).

Because he is good with words, he prefers talking face to face, with eye contacts.

That’s why whenever he wants to talk to her (almost every nights) but they can't meet because of their schedule, he’ll face calls Flora.

Apart from the fact that he likes to call her regularly to confide about their days, he likes to see the way she has done her hair, one day they’re pulled down around her face, the next day up in a messy bun revealing her neck. Sometimes her eyes beautifully highlighted with a nice and soft makeup, sometimes with her bare tan skin.

Helia and his uncle got used to share their lunch on Friday noon in a small private lounge next to the old man’s office.

Helia can be quite impressive for those who don't know him. He was raised in the military, related to the headmaster, he always stands up straight with a closed and concentrated face. He looks older than his age.

He is two years older than Flora because she skipped a grade in elementary school and Helia start over his year when he came home from art school.

That's part of the reason they took so long to get to each other at first. She was impressed of his maturity and he wanted to act with respect for her younger age.

Helia didn't immediately tell Saladin about it when he started to have an interest in her. He was afraid his uncle would tell his mother or his teacher.

He really keeps his life private as much as possible and there was in no rush to tell them. They would all know sooner or later.

In fact Helia didn't tell anyone. Only Riven and Brandon suspected something between them because they wondered why he has been transferred to their team so quickly after his return.

When him and Flora started to date regularly he dropped the information in a rather detached way to his uncle at the end of one of their lunches when the latter had asked him by chance his plans for the weekend. Which was pretty smart since the old man didn't expect it and didn't find the opportunity to ask him more about the young fairy at that time.

Helia and his uncle have a strong relationship even though they are modest on their emotions.

Before leaving Red Fountain, Helia wore his mid-length hair, despite the big disapproval of Codatorta who took care to enforce the school rules which prohibited any length beyond the ears. It was clearly something of an affront as Helia was thinking about leaving, and he knew that even if his teacher would complain to the headmaster, Saladin wouldn't blame his nephew.

On his return he was surprised to see the rules changed in his favour. During his year of art school he took the pleasure of letting his hair grow to the middle of his back. Naturally Saladin did not fail to specify that from now, any length of hair was tolerated, as long as it is properly and firmly tied during lessons and training.

Helia is one of the best pilots Red Fountain has ever known. The reason is he started going to Red Fountain and living with his uncle just before he turned fourteen. He was therefore able to begin his apprenticeship before the other students who had to wait until sixteen. Saladin turned a blind eye to the fact that his nephew was driving the ships and motorbikes before the required age.

I hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you think

#my first time writing #can’t wait to have more inspiration #I’ve read so many good things from you guys #helia #helia winx #winx club #headcanon #flora Helia #Saladin #Codatorta #red fountain

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atomicfilm · 3 years

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INTJ pairings

I'll make this into a fun short "put you in my pocket and take you `to my mom's Thanksgiving party" version too.

I'm not an INTJ, but I do converse with them (and by them, I mean maybe 3 total and 1 regularly) and I've been asked to talk about my thoughts on this, so for tonight only, I'm giving myself a really cool sash that says I'm an authority on the subject. I also think as an INTP I run into somewhat similar issues with certain types.

* means I like this pairing.

Typically, the INTJ's golden pair is the ENFP. I think that works for some people, but is probably a kind of short-lasting passionate fling rather than the ideal pairing. ENFPs are great people, they're lots of fun to be around, they care a great deal. They bring out the INTJ's soft side, which they may hate but they secretly quite admire. But ultimately, ENFPs can be flaky. They see something new and exciting and they move on. Novelty is the greatest motivator in a lot of ENFPs. New friends, new places, new things to do. And while the INTJ may deeply admire that and may find it quite exciting, it's not going to last forever. Eventually, the INTJ will become tired of playing games and want to settle into their ideal lifestyle pursuing their carefully strategized goals and the ENFP will become bored. The INTJ I speak to and I have the same issue, which is that ENFPs by nature are manipulative. It can be used for the good of inspiring people and bringing them together, but it can also become quite selfish and unstable. This leads to the ENFP saying things like "You try to apply logic to everything" or "you don't really respect me" or something like that when in reality, if someone loves an INTJ they'll love that they apply logic to everything and they'll love their snarky edges.

INFPs. I have not heard a lot of feedback about them as I think INTJs tend to be drawn more to extraverts. But as someone who spends quite a lot of time with INFPs, I would imagine that a lot of INTJs who can't make it work with ENFPs can also not make it work with INFPs. Once again, INFPs are great at engaging our minds but they are terrible at accepting that we live by rationality. INTJs use Fi a little bit, so to some extent they'll have similar engagements with their emotional side, but INFPs live by thinking "what can I do to nurture myself" and INTJs live more by "how can I best mold the world to fit my vision of efficiency". You'll see the commonality of Fi at the worst point possible when the INTJ is breaking down. INFPs kind of never stop using Fi and as someone who is thinking-dominant, that is almost impossible for communication. Ultimately, they'll eventually hit a point where their love languages and ways of interactions may be so disparate that they feel neglected.

ENTPs **. This is a golden pair that I can kind of get behind. The INxJs I know are obsessed with ENTPs and tend to think they're quite attractive. They're not only gregarious (when they're not arguing) but they're also quite intellectually stimulating and since they have opposite functions from the INTJ, there is still quite a bit of difference to make it fun. There shouldn't be too many emotional issues, aside from the fact that both these types tend to bottle up their emotions and resent vulnerabilities. The ENTP will probably be the more caring of the two in a conventional sense, but I would think both would have similar love languages of caring both through action and thought. ENTPs also tend to not be quite as flaky as a lot of xNxPs are, but, I would rate both of these types as highly likely to ghost. My best advice is that if you want to be around ENTPs, pick one who can be honest about their real values and whose values align with yours. If they make a lot of bigoted jokes, take that at face value, no matter how "ironic" it is. ENTPs can be a little fake in the sense that they will blend in just enough and hide behind so-called irony to be friends with a lot of different people.

INTPs. I don't really see it. I think INTPs are lovely as an INTP who likes other INTPs. Likewise, I enjoy a good conversation and friendship with an INTJ. But I find it not only difficult to tolerate relationships but also being told what to do. I make every decision in a relationship as a compromise and I think that would eventually quite interfere with the INTJ's ambitions because I wouldn't back down on mine...at least, not without resentment. So perhaps an INTJ and INTP with similar life goals could work out romantically, but personally, I view them as platonic and the one time I liked an INTJ it ended beyond poorly. I don't bring out their softness and they don't bring out mine. We're more like buddies who complain about other people when we do the entire group project by ourselves. Of course, romantic preference is a preference.

ENTJs. When has it ever worked out for someone to date their sister-type? Name one time! If someone names one time I'll update this. I think an ENTJ and an INTJ would be quite an argumentative couple even if they were on the same side about everything. Then again, INTJs do admire extraversion and it is always nice to be around people you don't have to explain yourself to every sentence.

INFJs ****. Oh, I like this pairing. I have not heard much about it, but I think it would be really cute. INTJs are complete badasses. They're very "I'm going to take over the world and you're just going to have to deal with it. And if you say no I will secretly cry". INFJs are very "I'm going to do everything in my power to heal everyone and the world and I am probably crying because I saw a baby bunny". INFJs are The Best! They have the softness of ENFPs but they're logical and they use Ni like INTJs but have Fe, which means they are thinking about harmony 24/7 and not that Fi-version of harmony. That genuine "I will make sure everyone is cared for at no social benefit to me" kind of harmony. They do socialize with a lot of people, but INTJs sometimes like to be social and party, they just aren't typically regarded that way. Do Fe and Fi mix that well? Maybe not. But as an Fe user who is quite fond of INFJs, I think they could potentially be a very cute power couple with the INTJ and there would be fewer issues with communication than other types as Ni-doms (but this also might be boring at the same time).

ENFJs. Similar to INFJs. They might work together a little less simply because of the change in function positions.

ESFPs *. Do I know for sure that this is a good pairing? No! But gosh, do I like it. INTJs become ESFP-like when they're sad. So, you know, maybe the ESFP will draw out the worst version of the INTJ and that could really suck. But this is the perfect little theatre kid dates total nerd trope and I like that. ESFPs have the social circle that the INTJ desires and the INTJ has the "got their shit together" vibes that ESFPs, despite being quite talented and successful, may lack. They both have skills one another can benefit strongly from, but it may come at the cost of a lot of arguments. Not sure. But I think this is actually my personal favorite since they have near-opposite strengths but a common reason to respect one another.

ISFPs: Pft. Idk. This is not the same as ESFPs. ISFPs are lovely but they sort of fill the same niche that INFPs do. Perfect for an INTP like me, but I don't think INTJs are looking for the quiet, artsy, weirdo so much because they already often fill that niche to some extent, even if it's more technical. I've noticed that INxJs really want to be around people who are the life of the party and very socially dominant (and ISFPs can fulfill that role, but there are other types who win via extraversion). The ISFP will likewise appreciate a little practicality, but I've noticed they're more likely to gravitate towards other xxFPs. Probably a better friendship and as a relationship would take more effort.

ESTPs: I think this one comes with its own difficulties and will work less than ENTP/ESFP pairings. This is because while they can have the same charisma that ENTP and ESFPs have, they can also have that same fakeness as a defense mechanism. Both will value action but the ESTP will probably drain out the INTJ more than ENTPs will (who are more ambiverts) and more than ESFPs too. With ESFPs, there's a good amount of the right kind of opposites. INTJs are action-driven, but they're strategic and take a while. ESFPs are action-driven, but they're more spontaneous. And ultimately, that leads to a lot of arguments about how to get things done. Whereas, the ESFP and ENTP might give the INTJ complete room to "manage", the ESTP seems less likely to do so.

ISTPs: This would be so stale. INTJs tend to show big emotions (to their own despise) when they're upset and ISTPs love to ghost at any sign of emotion. They would dip so fast. Top-tier friendship on an intellectual level but never particularly deep and unlikely, albeit not impossible to evolve into a relationship. Same issues as with INTPs, there's going to be a lot of admiration and probably not a lot of emotional attachment. I have witnessed an INTJ have a crush on an ISTP but that ISTP had a crush on me so that tells you how that went. Messy business.

ESTJ: Yeah, I guess. I don't like ESTJs as a general concept but I suppose INTJs aren't necessarily as opposed to capitalism and tradition. Sounds dry. Next.

ISTJ *: This is probably a really solid pairing for the INTJ. Very marriage material, have the same job, raise cool kids. But I think that sounds boring. So if you want the "perfect life", this is probably a good type for you but I couldn't do that. You would probably only have minor arguments and the INTJ would have to learn to trust that ISTJs are incredibly good at reading situations while the ISTJ would have to learn to love that the INTJ is more fantasy-oriented than they are. Odd, right? Ultimately, you have two people who can be very commitment-oriented, who care for people the same way, who want to fix society, who analyze everything. You just have two generally different ways of doing that, where the ISTJ is probably actually better at being in society and the INTJ wants to change it in more drastic ways (although, for moral reasons they both want to change it).

ISFJ: I don't imagine it working particularly well. I honestly can barely imagine it at all. An ISFJ is my best friend and he is THE MOST gentle buddy. You cannot make fun of him even playfully and keep the friendship. Probably a deal-breaker for a lot of INTJs as they tend to love a good tease. My ISFJ has dated an INTJ before and while they’re still friends, it was a bad experience to witness all around. INTJs are very competitive and ISFJs are very open with their affection so that ran into issues but also, the ISFJ is not as likely to stand up for itself in a way that INTJs easily respect, which is to say, when they do it it will be something like “hey, you hurt my feelings” and if you’re the kind of person to respond “then you’re too sensitive” you’ve got a whole ass toxic relationship on your hands.

ESFJ: I think this could work a little better than the ISFJ pairing and a little worse than with the ESFP. Of course, there are general grounds for arguing over emotion vs. logic, but both types can have quite a good bit of talent and practicality coexisting. ESFJs tend to be a little better with criticisms (although they are still sensitive and should be treated very gently too) and they're more likely to want to accomplish goals that the INTJ finds easier to respect. For a lot of ISFJs, their goals are sweet and simple like raising a family, working as a computer scientist. The ESFJ might be a little more oriented towards large goals similar to that of the ESFP, which is more of the category that INTJs tend to fall into. However, the INTJ is going to have to accept that ESFJs love a LOT which means throwing a LOT of parties, probably the most out of any type and its probably going to lead to some burnouts.

Overall, INTJs are great but need to learn to practice kindness and put their natural tendency for intellectual superiority aside. They shouldn't be with anyone that doesn't want to accomplish things they can respect. They shouldn't be with people who want them to compromise too much (they probably won't). They should be with people who bring out their nurturing capabilities and who they want to do things for, but not people that they see as incapable of taking care of themselves. They may prefer more social people and admire people who can network while being direct and genuine. Based on these criteria, INFJs and ENTPs are my highest recommendations while ESFPs (my favorite) and ISTJs also make the list for various reasons.

BUT, that being said, RELATIONSHIPS (including friendships) ARE A SKILL. They are most successful when someone becomes good at learning respect and compromise that doesn't cause resentment, regardless of type. All individuals will have different specific interests as well as red flags. And if you need me to tell you if your relationship works, it probably doesn't and you can DM me.

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foreverindreamlandd · 2 years

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Oops time for your regularly-scheduled mushy post from yours truly LOL.

To Be Wanted and In the Embers are very personal fics to me that pull A LOT from my personal life, which has been cathartic for many reasons. Today I'm realizing that the biggest one is that it allows me to truly feel seen for the first time.

Being the fat, funny friend who everyone likes and thinks is 'amazing' and 'perfect' is great, but somewhere along the way I reached a point where I never wanted to show my insecurities or faults because I was nervous that if I wasn't funny, there wasn't something worth loving (don't worry I am in therapy and now have very close friends who are both helping me try to unlearn this lol).

Still, it's a hard thing to chip away at after so many years of feeling like I'm already an inconvenience because I'm not pretty, or not feeling like my problems or emotions are worth worrying about when everyone else has problems of their own. I'd rather pour all of my energy in helping people feel better than letting others help me feel better. I hate complaining because I feel like I'll never stop and I don't like opening up to people because there's a weird fear that they'll judge me once they know me.

ANYWAYS it has been really hitting me reading your comments for TBW and ITE, saying how much heart reader has and appreciating not just their strengths, but also their faults (because a lot of them are my faults). Not only that, you all are just truly the sweetest and are always adding ridiculously nice remarks about my writing. I've never felt so encouraged to write the angst that I live with constantly and it truly feels like such a breath of fresh air.

I genuinely have no idea if any of this makes sense and if you made it to the end good for you I now owe you a hug and a kiss lmaoooo

Anyways love you fam thanks for being the best <3

#col ramblings #getting emo on main

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crowsmybeloveds · 3 years

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Shadow and Bone Series: Chapter Two

In Cold Blood

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Reader

Summary: The Crows continue to visit Y/N at the Emerald Palace, and make some interesting developments.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Implied suicide (don’t take it too seriously hint hint); abuse; Pekka Rollins; again canon typical violence/slave stuff (this time it’s described more, but again nothing graphic); the Menagerie;

A/N: Thank you so much if you liked the first chapter!!! This one is a little longer and I promise the end isn’t as bad as it might seem.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~

Jesper Fahey liked to do his own thing. Sure, as a member of the Dregs he had to listen to his boss and go on jobs, but he loved his free time in between. Hence, he often avoided going on little arends for Kaz at all costs. It would be a waste of his time.

Jesper Fahey was now talking to Kaz. Volunteering for an arend. For the fourth time this week.

Kaz, Inej, and Jesper had been visiting the girl in the basement regularly since their first meeting with her. Kaz chalked it up to business, the girl and her potions were powerful assets, but the other two would admit they had found a new friend.

There were rules to these visits. First, only go during the day. Even if it seemed counterintuitive to sneak there in the broad daylight, Y/N insisted she would be unavailable in the night, as that was when her “work” was done. Also, if you are there, you must hide well behind the crates, and remain armed. You were lucky every time you made it out of there alive.

It was a daunting task, but Jesper was always up for it.

“You’re going to go there again?” Kaz asked him, eyebrows raised, “You know it’s Inej’s turn, correct?”

“Yes, and I also don’t care,” Jesper answered, “Also, she probably has things to see, people to do, and whatnot. I, on the other hand, have my whole day cleared. And I couldn’t deprive the lovely basement girl of this face.” He smiled, pointing to himself, “I mean, come on.”

Kaz stared at him, seeing through his antics in a minute. Jesper had taken a liking to the girl. What will happen the day he visits to find she’s not there anymore? Kaz thought. His hopes are too high.

“Fine, Jesper,” He agreed, “but be careful not to draw attention.” He scrunched his nose. “Do your best not to dawdle.”

“Right, I’m off then!” Jesper exclaimed as he clapped his hands together and ran off.

“I’m going tomorrow!” Kaz shouted after him.

The sharpshooter knew his boss was suspicious of his actions, but in all honesty he didn’t care. Normally he would have thought there wasn’t much spending time with her could do, as she had told him many of the same things over and over. That must have meant she had told him all that she knew. But Jesper was not going for information, he was going to be with her. He liked to think they were friends.

Jesper was often distracted. Whether he saw a pretty person to flirt with or a table to gamble at, he always found a way to not be doing whatever he was supposed to. Everything around him was so appealing and stimulating, especially in the Barrel. Even so, he sped down the streets without a single double take or second thought as he headed to the Emerald Palace. He really wanted to see her. So bad it was addicting. At first he thought that maybe the girl was drugging him, seeing as that is her particular expertise, but soon he realized that he just liked her. She was funny, and she laughed at all his jokes. She was also so intriguing. So powerful yet rendered powerless. He was enchanted, but he knew something was missing. It seemed it wasn’t her fault. He wanted to help.

That day when he arrived at the window (after making sure no one could see him, of course) Jesper saw Y/N sitting against the wall with her legs hugged to her chest. He called her name softly, and waited for her to reply. She didn’t reply, or even move. Against his better judgement, he shouted louder, risking being discovered by one of Pekka’s crew. He didn’t care. He banged the windows. Praying she would say something. Or turn her head. Or nod. Anything. She didn’t. A single tear rolled down her face.

Y/N had been sitting there for three hours. There wasn’t much to be said about what had happened. Only that she did not remember, whether her loss of memory was intentional or not. It was an off day, that’s all.

Jesper was panicking. He had no idea how to get her to wake up. That is, if she was asleep. Truthfully, he did not know what was wrong with her or what to do. Unfortunately, his noise making had roused a different group of people. Jesper had to run down the alley as he heard shouts coming his direction. He ran the rest of the way home, still in shock. He was not haunted by his near escape with the Dime Lions, but the look on the girl’s face. What had they done to her?

“And she didn’t move at all?” Inej asked. Jesper had just explained to her what happened after he showed up to her room at the Slat. She hadn’t appreciated being woken up from one of her rare naps, but she didn’t complain when she saw the look on his face.

“Not that I could see,” he replied, shaking his head, “Inej, I swear she could hear me.”

Inej did not know what to say. This kind of behavior was not usual for Jesper. He had his normal amount of energy, but it was not often it was all directed to one place: worry. It was odd that something upset him and he did not distract from it by going to gamble or making a joke.

“I just, if it were you I’d understand, but who could ignore me?” he said, “Going unnoticed is not a Jesper talent.”

There it was.

“You’re deflecting” She called him out, “It’s not funny. We should tell Kaz.”

“That's not funny,” Jesper replied, “what is Kaz gonna do? Tell us to stop talking to her?”

Inej sighed. It’s possible that he would advise that. But he also wouldn’t just let Pekka Rollins keep his most dangerous weapon. Especially not when she didn’t seem to have much loyalty. She had told Inej so many times. The girls had a bond due to the Menagerie, and Y/N told her much about her past and present. She explained different chemicals she had made and plans she had heard to Kaz. But with Inej, she explained how she felt about them.

Y/N hated every second in that basement. She had told Inej as much. Repeatedly. But she was rather scatterbrained. She repeated herself often and forgot things that she had already been told. She would forget what day it was and what she had done the night before. Inej had experience with trauma and sleep deprivation enough to shrug this off. She didn’t want to cause her friend anguish by questioning it.

The incident Jesper was describing made her think that maybe she should. Y/N was smart. Hell, she was a self taught Grisha fabrikator. So good, she could kill people from miles away. How could she be so forgetful? Someone so scientifically gifted must have a better mind than that. Someone must have been messing with it.

After some convincing to Jesper that Kaz would not kill or give up on Y/N, the pair made their way to their boss’s office.

“I was waiting for this to happen,” was Kaz’s response.

“What, that’s it?” Jesper raised his voice, “You have nothing else to say?”

Kaz glared at him from his desk. “I don’t know that you thought through your attachment to her, Jesper. You should never have assumed she was on our side.”

Jesper stared bullets at his boss in front of them. They seriously weren’t going to help her at all? She needed to get out of there, he knew that for certain. If it wasn’t because he cared about her then it should be because she is an asset. A good investment. Saints, he hated calling her that.

He didn’t say any of this, however, and instead started to walk out of the office. Just before he was out the door, he heard Brekker speak up.

“I’ll go and see her tomorrow.”

When Kaz Brekker reached the girl’s window, he gave it exactly seven taps with his cane, with a very specific beat. It was a signal he had made with Y/N so that she knew to open the window and talk to him without him having to raise his voice.

The girl turned toward the window at the sound. She set down the bottle she was currently working on and walked over. Kaz started speaking as soon as it was opened.

“How long have they been drugging you?”

Y/N scoffed, “Hello to you, too!”

“How long?”

“Um, never?” She replied, getting confused. “They don’t drug me with anything. I’d notice. That’s kind of my job description.”

Kaz looked to the side, thinking. The only way to explain her odd behavior, forgetfulness, and calmness in her position was that she was being manipulated. And because she was constantly making poisons and “potions” for Pekka, it made sense that she was being given her own drugs without her knowledge. He had thought this since he’d met her. She had to be on some sort of relaxers when he first saw her. Why else would she have so willingly opened the window for strangers?

“Why did you ignore Jesper when he was here yesterday?” He asked, hoping to get the information from her in a more roundabout way.

“I didn’t?” Y/N asked, “Inej was here yesterday, she got those vials of knockout gas you asked for.”

Kaz squinted at her, “Y/N, that was two days ago.”

She shook her head, “No, no, because I was working on those just yesterday and I just finished them when she stopped by. I haven’t seen Jesper in a couple of days, Kaz. Are you feeling ok?”

Kaz wasn’t sure how to react to this. She had missed the whole day? He was sure things like this had been going on this whole time, but never in the month since they began speaking with her has she forgotten a whole day. She had to have taken something.

“Are you self medicating?”

“No! Why- what are you talking about? What is going on?”

“Y/N, Jesper came here yesterday and you were sitting in that corner near catatonic. You wouldn’t speak or even move.” Kaz informed her.

“He must not have shouted loud enough, I was probably asleep.”

“You normally sleep with your eyes open?” He is tone was sharp. “Jesper said you were crying.”

She didn’t respond. She was shocked out of her mind. It was possible Kaz was lying to her to get some sort of information out of her, but it didn’t seem that way. He looked uneasy, the kind of unease that comes from not knowing something. He was a very smart man, and when something did not make sense to him he got nervous. So, this must have actually happened. And if she could not remember it, something was terribly wrong.

“I’m sorry, Kaz. I just don’t remember.”

“Fine. Then I need you to stop eating the food they give you. I’ll have Inej stop by with something to eat during the day.” Kaz paused, thinking. “And I would like to get you out of here, and have you join the Dregs. I just have to figure out how.”

“No, Kaz. I can’t leave.”

“Why? You have loyalties to Pekka Rollins?” He asked, anger clear in his voice.

Do I? She thought. While she knew his treatment of her was unfair, she wondered whether or not she still cared about him. In her time at the Emerald Palace, Pekka had told her many things about how he was the only one who would ever care for her. He claimed that he had saved her from the Menagerie, and he was taking care of her because he loved her. He also said that he would help her find her sister, often claiming that the potions Y/N was making was helping him follow leads about her.

When he started bringing men down into Y/N’s room, she was only a teenager. The first man that had ever touched her in that room also told her information about upcoming trips, which Pekka used to choose the perfect time to rob his house. Y/N felt disgusting in her skin ever since, but Pekka reassured her. I’m sorry , canary. I’ll protect you. Those men are not like me. While any sane person would call giving her food and shelter supplying her basic needs, Pekka called it courtesy. A gift because he loved her. A gift that could be taken away. He let men take advantage of her just so she could get him information, and then called it love. And she believed him. Until one day.

A man had come down into her room, which was usual for her on any given night. However, this man started out rough and stayed that way for the rest of his visit. She had tried her best with past men to get as much information as she could through simple flirting and drugging, but he was not there for small talk. For a brief moment, she considered saying no. In the moment following, she remembered what happened the other times she had done so.

She didn’t get any of the information she had been asked to draw from the man. Pekka was livid. The argument following had been explosive and painful. Not just emotionally.

“This isn’t love.” She tried to say it in a firm voice, but it came out broken and weak.

“How could you possibly know?” Pekka replied.

“Because you don’t deny it.” She said, summoning the strength to look up at him. “The men who come down here sometimes mention their wives. They might not be the pinnacle of married men, but I know they would never do this. This is bad for me.”

“Oh, is it so bad for you?” He raised his voice. “And who is going to treat you better, hm? Who out there would possibly care about you like I do?”

She turned her back to him. She sniffled as she cleaned up her worktable, silently hoping he would just leave.

He grabbed her arm, whipping her around to face him. “I don’t care if you hate me. You will stay here because of Anais. You will stay because you need me.”

The memory was scarring.

Kaz watched as Y/N got lost in her own thoughts. His voice startled her out of her memories. “Y/N, do you have loyalties to him?”

“My sister, Anais.” She breathed. “He is helping me find my sister.”

“Is that all?”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I need to find her. Have you ever had any siblings?”

Kaz paused for a moment. The comment seemed to toy with him. “No.”

“Then you don’t get it. I want to be with people I belong with. To figure out where I’m from.” She sighed. “Pekka is helping me with that.”

“And he has proven that he is actually doing so?”

“He said that he knew she was involved with the slavers who took me away. He is getting in with them to try and figure out where they took her.”

“Y/N, I don’t think he is actually doing that.” Kaz said, shaking his head. “This is your reason for staying?”

“And I have nowhere else to go!”

Kaz took a deep breath. He had decided what he was going to do for the girl since the day he met her. She was an asset. With her power he could complete jobs and gain kruge with record speed. Not to mention, if Kaz had her on his side, Pekka didn’t. The sweet taste of revenge covered his tongue just at the thought.

“I have an offer,” he began, “You come with me. Not now, but soon. I’ll come everyday to ask questions and we’ll plan your escape. In the meantime, you gather your things discreetly and try to find as much dirt on Rollins as you can.”

“But my sister -“

“If you are a part of the Dregs, you will help when asked, but the rest of your time is yours. Look for your sister, gamble your money away, take up baking, — I don’t care. You’ll be free.”

The offer was good. Great, actually. So why was she hesitating? Was Pekka’s manipulation really enough to make her turn away an opportunity like this? I don’t know.

And what about Kaz? Could she really trust him? The man wanted her for her powers, too. How was he different from Pekka? In her limited experience, he wasn’t. I should stay.

But Jesper. In the short while she had known him, Jesper had become her favorite part of being alive. And Inej, who was the kindest soul she had ever encountered. If they were with Kaz, he couldn’t be the demon he tried to be. At least not like Pekka. I should go. I should have gone a long time ago.

“Deal.”

In the weeks following, Kaz came every day to discuss every aspect of the Emerald Palace with her, in the hopes that he could get her out. Getting her out of the building would be simple, but keeping her from being hunted by the Dime Lions for the rest of her days would be complicated. The plan would have to be completely airtight, so Kaz needed time.

A few days later, Jesper was at the window speaking with her. The other members of the dregs would often visit along with Kaz and stay to talk to her, or they might come in his place. Today, after describing her entire tailoring process to Kaz, Y/N was speaking to Jesper about music.

“It’s like this huge golden machine made by Fabrikators, right?” Y/N smiled as she excitedly spoke. “And you take this small disc, place it on the machine and put the needle on it, and then music comes out!”

Jesper grinned at her. He loved the way she looked when she was excited about something. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one before.”

“Well, it’s wonderful,” she sighed, “Not to mention there’s thousands of the disc things, and each one is a different song. I wish more people had them than just the rich men who can afford it. I mean I wish I could have one.”

The two had been known to discuss things that had nothing to do with her escape, which Kaz had scolded them for plenty of times. But they enjoyed talking to each other, and they often got distracted. Odd topics of discussion were bound to happen whether they liked it or not. However, when Jesper realized that they had strayed from their original reason for speaking, he redirected the conversation.

“So, you get tailored nearly everyday?”

“Well, whenever anyone comes to see me. Only Pekka knows what I really look like. And you and your friends. Maybe it's a security thing.” She told him, thinking as she spoke. “Also, if anyone sees me who isn’t supposed to, I’m meant to drug them so they forget. Pekka really just does not want anyone knowing I’m here. Some bastard might try to steal me away.”

Jesper smirked at her. “I cannot imagine who would ever do something like that.”

Visits were going relatively well. Kaz had nearly enough information to finalize his plan for her escape, so he visited less and less. Y/N was becoming a solid member of the Crows even though she had so little time with them. She matched Jesper’s humor, built trust with Inej, and had a shared anger for Pekka with Kaz.

Today was Inej’s day to go visit Y/N, and she was running rather late. She knew the girl had mentioned not to visit after the sun went down, but Inej had been busy all day and could only find time to make it to the window after dark. When she got there, however, she realized why Y/N had made the warning.

When she looked through the window, she noticed that Y/N was not alone. When she looked closer, she realized Y/N was with Pekka Rollins. Luckily, Inej was the Wraith, she could watch what happened next without being seen.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to eat your dinner,” She heard Rollins speak first, in the most condescending tone she had ever heard. “Not after I worked so hard to get your favorite.”

Y/N sat on her cot, avoiding eye contact. “Not hungry.”

Rollins grabbed her by the jaw roughly, forcing her to look at him. Inej noticed tears shining in Y/N’s eyes. “Not hungry, hm? We both know that’s not true.” He laughed, with a terrifying lack of humor behind it. “Why are you lying to me, canary?”

The girl shook her head as the tears fell down her face.

“Your tears will do you no good.” Rollins snarled. “Do not forget what you are.” He paused, raising a brow. “What are you?”

The girl sniffled and didn’t respond.

“What are you?” He shouted and raised his voice this time, causing her to shake.

“A canary.” She whispered out.

“Good, and if I give you a song...”

He raised her chin higher, prompting her to finish his words. “I sing it.” The words fell from her lips like something rehearsed, but unbearably painful.

He gave a tight lipped smile. “Right. Don’t forget it again.” He sat down next to her and handed her the plate she had sat on the table beside her. “Now you eat and I’ll tell you about the man who is coming here tonight.”

Inej felt like she was going to throw up as she travelled the rooftops of Ketterdam back to the Crow Club. She knew Y/N was being mistreated at the Emerald Palace, but seeing it take place was something entirely apart.

As she walked in the doors of the club she felt a presence beside her. She looked over to see Jesper walking with her. He must have been guarding the door. He was waiting to ask a question.

“Yes, Jesper, I went to see her.” Inej spoke to him, her voice rough.

“And?”

“And Pekka Rollins was there.”

Jesper stopped in his tracks. “Saints, is she ok? Are you?”

“I’m fine,” Inej assured, “But I’m not sure about Y/N. He is anything but gentle with her. And he forced her to eat the dinner he gave her. I don’t think she’s gonna be able to avoid the drugs they give her anymore. If only she could remember to take an antidote before her mind goes.”

“Shit, we need to get her out of there, soon.”

The pair once again went to Kaz to discuss the girl, only to find him at his desk, writing furiously with two bottles in front of him.

“Kaz, Inej -“ Jesper was cut off.

“She told me how she’s been killing all those people.” Kaz stared at the bottle in front of him, observing it scientifically.

Inej and Jesper looked at each other before looking back at their boss. What was he on about?

“I don’t understand.” Inej had a confused look on her face as she tried her best to make eye contact with Kaz. She wanted to try and read him like she knew she could, but right now the man in front of her was like a blank page.

“Y/N. She gives them a liquid of her own design, but it isn’t poisonous,” He kept his eyes trained on his work, “At least not until she makes it poisonous. She can give someone poison hours in advance but it kills them right at the perfect moment. Right when she can get away. And, once they are dead, she can change it back to something nontoxic. It’s flawless: not a single trace is left.”

“Great, boss,” Jesper said, growing impatient. “Can we talk about why we are here?”

Kaz frowned, “What, because you want to get Y/N out sooner? She’s in a terrible situation?”

“Exactly,” Inej pleaded.

“If I tried to save everyone in the Barrel I’d be broke by dawn.” Kaz said, looking back at his work. Inej and Jesper stood there in shock. “If you don’t have anything else to say…”

Inej placed a hand up to keep Jesper from exploding. “Kaz, you told us that you would help her escape.”

“I needed information, Wraith, you wouldn’t help me if I told the truth.”

Jesper spoke up, “So you lied to us? And what did you tell her?”

“Nothing. She’s prepared to leave the Emerald Palace tonight.” Kaz tsked. “I doubt she’ll make it two feet out the building without our help. Solves all of my problems.”

Without another word, Inej slipped out of the room, leaving the boys to fight. Through the walls, she heard muffled shouting.

“How could you? You act like you have nothing you believe in but really you are so terrible that you’ve made yourself your own Saint!” Jespers voice was desperate, filled with rage. The betrayal he felt was clear even though he was muffled. He sniffed. “Put too much faith in that saint and he’ll kill your friends.”

Inej cringed, hating the harsh truths her friend was sending toward her boss. She had always known partnership with Kaz would mean conflict, but it also meant freedom. She and Jesper often commented on their cold-hearted boss. “We are both too good for him.” Jesper would laugh as he said it, but now it seemed to be a reason to leave. But where would they go? When it came to Kaz Brekker, no one was better, and no one was worse.

One thing was for certain, Inej was not going to let her friend die. She had just pulled Y/N up from the grave, and she’d be damned if she let Kaz Brekker push her back in. If he was so certain the girl would be dead by tomorrow, she’d get to her before then. She didn’t have time for Kaz’s lectures and Jesper’s shouting. There was a life at stake. She begged the Saints to help her, but deep down she knew that this was up to her and her knives. If Inej couldn’t save Y/N, the Wraith would.

When she reached the Emerald Palace, a nauseous feeling spread throughout her stomach. She willed her hands to stop shaking, but the tremor remained. She reached the window after carefully checking her surroundings and gasped at what she saw. Nothing remained in Y/N’s room but a white letter and dark ash, both standing out against the gray stone floor. Inej frowned in confusion. So, she is gone. Where could she be?

Y/N was a smart girl, she could be out of Ketterdam by now. However, she had barely had any human contact and had been drugged and manipulated for years. If she was not already found by Pekka Rollins, she could have already been killed on the street. But no one knew who she was, and only Pekka and the Crows knew what she truly looked like. She had become one huge question.

Suddenly, Inej remembered something.. Specifically, a conversation she had with Y/N not long ago.

Inej, this might be the worst thing I’ve ever made. She had said, a fire in her eyes.

Then why are you smiling? Inej replied.

Look! Y/N had pulled a thin glass bottle of a swirling liquid and a small flower out from behind her back. She then poured a drop of the bottle on the flower, which disintegrated into a pile of ash within seconds.

Saints. Inej was amazed.

Wild, huh? Footsteps came from the stairwell in the corner of the room. Shit. Inej, go. Inej hesitated. Go! He’ll see you!

Now, looking at the large pile of ash on the floor of the room, Inej realized what had happened.

“Saints,” She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “She’s drunk it.”

She heard footsteps approaching in the alley, and immediately grabbed two of her knives, ready to protect herself.

“Easy,” Jesper appeared, holding his hands out toward her. “It’s just me.”

Inej lowered her knives as she stared back at him. “We’re too late, Jes. She’s gone.”

He laughed, nervous. “No, she wouldn’t.” He lowered himself down to the window. “No.”

Inej stood up and looked up at the stars, praying to any Saint that she could think of that she wasn’t dead. That her friend was out there somewhere. Alive. “Jesper, we need to get out of here.”

“But,” Jesper paused, his voice weak. “She was just here.”

“She’s not anymore.” Inej looked at him with pity. She could tell how much the girl had meant to him. “I’m sorry.”

“She was just here.” He repeated, voice cracks littering his words.

Inej grabbed his hand, forcing him out of this frozen state. “I know, Jes. I’m sorry.”

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #jesper fahey x you

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the-bugs-under-ur-skin · 3 years

Text

Yandere Volks, Poe, and Eli HCs - Blush Blush

busy day but i wanted to clean my inbox a bit so here we are! i really like writing for blush blush, so you guys shouldn’t be scared to request! thank you for taking the time to support me, i love all of you! :)

[yandere Volks x reader]

-i could see Volks being a little bit of a stalker honestly

-he doesn’t do it because he’s too nervous to talk to you or whatever, he does it because he’s very possessive of you

-he doesn’t do it that often, but sometimes he’ll get really on edge so he decides to follow you around

-he’ll get pissed at almost every person you talk to, every person you give a kind smile or wave to

-Volks would be super violent when it comes to rivals

-by the way if you were wondering what “rivals” Volks has encountered, that basically just means anyone you know

-he’ll even get jealous by people you don’t get along with; “what makes them so special? if you hate them then why do you talk with them all the time?”

-he would not hold back when fighting/killing them, doing it in the most painful way he can think of

-he’s probably one of the most ruthless yanderes to be thought of and its clear to anyone who sees the carnage he’s left behind

-he’ll never admit it, but he gets jealous super easily

-i also think that despite him being very violent towards others, he’d be really soft with you

-kind of like the typical “mean guy blushes and smiles at nice protagonist” in the manga, but a little more twisted

-you might even be surprised by it, especially because his attitude can shift almost instantly

-maybe you notice that something is really making him stressed so you just give him a kiss on the cheek and talk to him in a soft voice

-he goes from like “passive aggressive” to “tsundere simp” in a second

-he gets embarrassed when acting like this in public, but he’d do it for you if you really wanted him to

-he’d honestly do anything for you

-if you asked him to do something, it’d be that cliché where he’s like “pft, no” and then immediately does it

-he’s just a genuinely soft guy under that murderous shell of his

-well, at least that’s what he hopes you think of him...

[yandere Poe x reader]

-Poe also gives me strong stalker vibes

-and the stalking doesn’t stop after the relationship begins by any means

-he’ll always enjoy watching you from behind the scenes, just wanting to see how you live your life

-he’d also write little things about your life down, hyperfocusing on everything you do

-he’ll feel connected to you in a way

-if you’re feeling down, he’ll spend days just feeling depressed and only writing about your struggles in his poems

-but if you’re really happy or excited, then suddenly he’s mr. sunshine, expressing all of the joy you have in his writing

-it would be especially strange if this happened while he was working on something in his classes, his professor would definitely be surprised

-he also will observe you a lot when you’re aware of him

-like, you think you’re just having quality time with you’re boyfriend and then you look up and he’s just intensely staring at you

-i could definitely see Poe as an obsessive guy

-that, and also a worshipper

-i’m pretty sure this guy was already obsessed with you in the og game so he’d probably be 10x worse

-if you were ever to look around his room, you’d find pages and notebooks filled with absolute adoration for you

-he also wouldn’t really see what’s actually wrong with it, he’s just more embarrassed that you saw some of his poems

-it’s always you in his mind

-throughout the day he’ll always be thinking about you, writing about you, following you

-you’re probably what keeps him up at night, too

-whether it be because his head is just so loud from all the thoughts about you or because he’s actually watching you sleep, it’s pretty obvious you’re the main cause of those eyebags

-and even when he finally gets to drift off into sleep it’s obviously going to be you haunting his dreams

-on the bright side, the obscurity the comes with both a dream and his love for you will probably end up inspiring him

-but luckily, all of the nonstop thoughts about you are usually him just worshipping you

-Poe has almost never had a negative thought about you, it probably only happened when he first met you

-but he worships every little thing about you, no matter how odd it is

-he would probably even rant about something as simple as your hair for hours and hours with no sign of him stopping anytime soon

-he just adores you so much, but he’d do just about anything you say, so if you want him to do something he’ll do it

-the only problem with abusing you power over him is that the more you ask favors from him, the more clingy he’ll get

-after awhile, he’s almost always hovering over you, following you around, and staring at you constantly

-but that should be fine, it’s not like you’d ever want him to leave, right?

[yandere Eli x reader]

-Eli is probably not very violent at all

-sure, he’ll probably get into fights for you, but it’s mostly just arguments instead of actually throwing hands

-he’s just not very willing to get all dirtied up by the blood of some worthless nobody

-but even though he’s not very violent, he does get jealous often

-he gets jealous of everyone you talk good about, which is surprising for you since he’s usually such a “the more the merrier” kind of guy

-like, if you and him were just talking and suddenly you brought up your friend he would immediately start acting like a baby

-he’ll puff out his cheeks and start rolling his eyes

-the same goes for when you’re out in public, but sometimes he’ll even drag you away from the place you’re both at

-he might seem angry at you but just know that he’s more agitated with the person he’s jealous of rather than you

-he makes that especially clear when the person agitating him is right next to you guys

-sometimes Eli will start acting passive-aggressive towards the person and make subtle jabs towards them to make them self-conscious

-other times he’ll just cling onto you and whine until you both leave

-on that note, Eli is very clingy as well

-he follows you everywhere you go, and he’s always showing some sort of affection along the way, too

-if you’re just sitting around a home, he’ll there too with an arm around your shoulder

-or if you want to go out somewhere, Eli would be happy to accompany you with an arm around your waist

-you’re most likely going to get annoyed quickly by Eli’s constant affection, but he’ll keep doing it anyways

-if you were wondering, he’s also a lot more... loyal (selfish)

-he just suddenly has a lot harder of a time having more people in your relationship than he regularly does

-like, he could but he’s not going to beg for it

-maybe he’ll be more accepting if you give him more attention and say you’re his favorite constantly

-other than that, he’s not too bad of a yandere to deal with

-sure, you’re almost never alone, but at least you get constant affection!

-and it’s constant affection from your favorite person in the whole world, obviously, so there’s no reason to complain!

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junicai · 3 years

Text

Aria + Periods + 127 = Chaos

Taeil

taeil has a younger sister, so he didn’t need her to explain anything to her

honestly, he’s one of the members she’ll go to first if she needs anything

the least likely to make a big deal out of it

just kinda

shrugs

and does what is needed of him

sometimes pain meds don’t do anything for aria’s cramps they get so bad

and on those days, she’ll slid into his bed and either

A: snuggle with him and let him cuddle her

or B: just curl up underneath his sheets until he gets back from wherever he was and then do option A

he really hates her periods

like, more than she does

because she’s always a little deflated in the upcoming days, and for the first two of the actual periods

and he hates seeing her in pain or be sad

even if the thing she’s sad at is the advertisement of the cute dog

definitely chuckles at her when she comes to him with slightly teary eyes and whines that she misses her dog now

but opens his arms willingly anyway, letting his maknae plonk herself in his lap and rest her head on his chest

Johnny

there is no better man to try and make aria feel better

that’s actually a lie

aria will point blank avoid him on her periods

he read once

once

in an article that physical exercise helps with cramps and the other pms-ing symptoms

and now every single time she opens her mouth to complain about her uterus trying to eject itself from her body

johnny’s right there with an invitation to the gym

he’s literally packed and changed, they can go right now

truth be told aria took him up on the offer once

never again

she couldn’t walk afterwards

he had to carry her out

asides from that though

he’s pretty okay with everything?

like obviously, he doesn’t really get it all too much, but if she wants someone to massage her back, then he’ll offer without too many questions

but when she’s crying about something?

oh ho ho ho

bear hugs

just a big ol’ swaddling hug that makes aria feel warm n safe n content

they heal everything

it’s aria’s life philosophy

Taeyong

totally understanding

she needs pads? he’s either already bought them, or will go out to buy them for her

doesn’t have a tracker for her, but somehow knows when she’s cramping the week before its due

once came up with the innovative idea of using their handwarmers as a makeshift hot water bottle when they were on a schedule and aria was suffering :(

aria gets really bad lower back cramps, and its super common to just see him gently pushing her onto the couch

so he can try and massage some of the tension

keeps pads in his travelling bags

completely unprompted - it just started being something he’d pack

like heat packs and pain patches and bandages;

period supplies just eventually got added to the list

was a little uncomfy with the whole thing at the start

but his older sister yelled at him

told him to stop “being a baby” and “she’s your responsibility, act like it.”

aria felt really bad for burdening him with it all

lowkey wished she was a boy for inconveniencing everyone with it

and taeyong had to sit her down and tell her no baby

it was natural and it didn’t bother anybody

that she didn’t have to hide it

that she could come to them if she was in pain because of it

Yuta

oh this man

when he found out that aria was getting lightheaded on her periods

when he found out that she passed out once on her period

did so much research on why that might have happened and how to help

literally stayed up all night and came to aria the next morning like

“are you eating enough iron?”

the answer was no, btw

made it his mission to make sure aria did after that

always has a little bag of nuts or something else in a side pocket of his bag if he knows aria’s on her period

gets concerned asf when she misses her periods

because he knows it’s because of unnecessary diets or her putting in extra time in the practice room

aria loves going to his room when she’s feeling miserable

he’s always down to watch a movie or just lay down with her

he’ll plait her hair or just lay together and press a lil kiss to her forehead when she whines about the cramps

hates hates hates when she cries

he knows it’s because of hormones, he has two sisters

but that doesn’t make it easier

will do absolutely anything to get her to stop crying

once went out at 3am to get her ice-cream

which actually made her cry harder

bc she felt bad that she couldn’t eat it because she’s lactose-intolerant

he just felt worse

that was not a good night

now the freezer in the dorms has a little tub of non-dairy ice-cream with aria’s name on it

curtesy of yuta

Doyoung

when aria first moved into the 127 dorms

he bought a little pink box with a lid that he then proceeded to fill with tampons and pads; the whole shebang

which he then put in the locker beneath the sink

and told anyone that if they made a big deal out if it, he’d kill them :)

incredibly perceptive

knows when aria’s on her period before aria knows

“hey do u need a pad?” “ why do i need a pad?”

*an hour later*

“oppa do u have any pads”

he’s less of a come here and i’ll comfort you type

and more of a, i’m going to help you from the sidelines without ever actually acknowledging it’s existence

like perceiving it makes it worse

honestly aria’s pretty thankful he’s like this

she loves that the other members take care of her like they do, don’t get her wrong

but its like, for five days - she can do no wrong, she’s accommodated, and sometimes walked on eggshells around

it’s nice to have someone who’s going to treat her like normal

to balance it out

does that stop her pulling the “i’m in pain” card when she’s about to get scolded?

Jaehyun

jaehyun doesn’t have any siblings, so he was really learning from scratch with aria

however

that was actually a good thing

because it meant that whatever aria told him; he did

if she needed a heating pack - he’d go find one for her

if she needed to just lie down for a bit - he’d take her into her room and close the curtains to let her take a nap

now, she didn’t take advantage of this

much

but she just thought it was really sweet of him

and tells him as much

and every time, he’ll just pat her head

maybe a lil kiss on the forehead

and pull the blanket up to her chin before leaving and flicking off the lights

that’s kind of the extent of what he’ll do

mainly because the other members have a lot of it covered already

but it’s pretty common for him to give her a piggyback ride somewhere

if her back is cramping a lot and she doesn’t/can’t walk

no complaints

he just kneels down and aria asks him is he sure

like she’s heavy or something

and he’ll just carry her to wherever they’re going

there’s a lot of fantaken pictures from these moments

people speculate that she’s injured or sick

it happens so regularly that nctzens are genuinely convinced that aria just doesn’t possess an immune system

Jungwoo

jungwoo was surprisingly well prepared when aria first bent over from a sudden onset of cramps

man was ready and knew what to do

he had hyuck going out of the room for water

and had a hand placed on her lower back rubbing gently

never really makes a big deal out of it all

although has told her to play it up once or twice because he wanted to go to bed and practice was running late

she did, and they did end practice almost immediately after

honestly, aria’s pretty convinced that all of jungwoo’s information on how to deal with girls on their periods came from a wikihow article

but that did mean that he had taken the time to look up a wikihow article

so she guesses she can forgive him

and honestly, the fact that he takes it upon himself to do a little of her chores?

she’s not complaining

after the first three times she felt bad enough to tell him to stop though

he didn’t

and now it’s just normal

is very conversational about it all

has no problem with asking her what she needs, instead of hovering around and guessing

which makes it easier on aria as well

the first few times, she felt quite burdensome

and jungwoo levelled her with a look when she told him this

“the only way you’d be burdensome, is if you didn’t talk to the rest of us and suffered silently - in pain.”

that was the end of that really

Mark

unfortunately for mark

aria got her first period when she was with him

poor boy thought she was going to die

“ohmygod you’re bleeding - you’re BLEEDING-”

aria had to calm him down before going to the bathroom

he is pretty oblivious as to what exactly goes on

aria complained once that she missed her last two periods because of the stupid diet she was on

mark literally thought she was going to die

very concerned

she had to sit him down and tell him that no, she wasn’t going to die

he’s gotten better over the years

as a topic, he’s still pretty uncomfortable with discussing it

but its less of a “i’m a man and this isn’t a manly topic” and more of a “i don’t know anything about this subject and i don’t want to offend somebody, help”

he did by her her first hot water bottle cover though

up until then, she had been using hot water bottles wrapped in towels to prevent her skin from burning

but mark showed up one morning

with a yellow fuzzy thing hidden behind her back

it was a winnie the pooh cover :(

Donghyuck

cuddle buddies

that’s his main role

aria on her period? donghyuck’s pulling out the fluffy blankets and making a pile of her plushies on his bed

time to pull out netflix and cuddle

aria could cry every single time she walks into his room and he’s just opening the covers for her to slip underneath

he does it every time

and somehow she’s still not expecting it

it’s been five years bestie

has accidentally made her cry on more than once occasion though

he doesn’t mean to!

sometimes he’ll say something in passing

and aria will get upset but won’t show it

because she knows she’s not actually upset - it’s just hormones

so she doesn’t tell him she’s upset

and just leaves to go to her own room

does that stop doyoung telling hyuck off for being insensitive?

not at all

but he’s normally really good! especially after the first few times

living together has generally made him more preceptive

also just growing up in general

if her cramps are really bad she’ll wake up during the night

and if she had slept in hyuck’s bed the night before

then he usually takes it upon himself to go get her pain meds and a hot water bottle

he’ll rub her back and help her fall back asleep

and then he’ll make sure to write down in his phone that she took x brand of pain meds, so in the morning she’ll have to take y instead

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words-writ-in-starlight · 3 years

Note

For the ask meme: Sarah x Jareth (I almost wrote that as David Bowie), 14, 22, and 29!

I am RIGHT NOW watching Labyrinth with my partners, EXCELLENT timing! Cut for length.

14) When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Jareth has never been “sick” a day in his immortal life. He’s been stabbed, poisoned, cursed, and hungover, but even the weakest goblin is rarely “sick” and Jareth hasn’t spend enough time around mortals to have a good grasp of the fact that nonfatal illnesses even exist.

Point is, there’s an intermediary period between Sarah pointedly ignoring every owl in sight, no matter the coloring, and Sarah becoming the Goblin Queen where she forces him to visit the mortal world more than he has in living memory, including his. (Jareth has a vague sense that he might have been here more often once--perhaps when he was young, before he was King--but he’s been King so long, and the Labyrinth has a chain-tight grip on its own.) Toby is entranced, and also terrified--he doesn’t buy Jareth’s glamour for a second. Sarah spends half her life running interference on Jareth’s behavior, and the other half doing a double major in political sciences and folklore. Which she decided to get before she agreed to start talking to Jareth again, thank you, kindly fuck off.

Point is, eventually even Sarah’s suspiciously excellent immune system clocks out for the day, and she wakes up with a splitting headache, a wet and congested cough, and a sense that her skin is being abraded by even her softest sheets. She’s not sick-sick, it’s just a nasty head cold with a fever, but she calls out of class and flops down on the couch and mumbles non-answers to the goblin who lives in the top of her closet when it scuttles out to see why she’s still home.

She doesn’t even realize Jareth is there until she feels a shadow fall over her and cracks an eye to peer up at him blearily.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks in his most forbidding Goblin King voice, and she groans and pulls her blanket over her head.

“Go away, Jareth, I’m tired.”

“I will not,” he says automatically as he jerks the blanket down to her shoulder, and then he’s crouching down in front of her, mismatched eyes dangerous and inhumanly bright in the yellow light of her little dorm apartment. “Who did this to you, Sarah? I will not leave without an answer.”

“No one,” she says, squinting up at him. “It’s just a cold.”

“’Cold’,” he repeats, in the same skeptical way that he said ‘phone’ when she complained about his unannounced visits. “I am not aware of that particular toxin.”

“I’m just sick, it’s not like I’ve been poisoned.”

“An illness?” He pauses, pulls a glove off one hand and reaches out to touch her cheek experimentally. His fingers are always cold compared to hers, and she shivers hard when he touches her skin, but he doesn’t flinch. There’s something odd on his face, a locked-up hardness, and he says, “What is it?”

“A cold,” Sarah says again, pulling her blankets back up to her chin and shutting her eyes. “I’m just going to feel like garbage for a few days. Probably less if you let me sleep. Come back and bother me on Saturday.”

He doesn’t leave. Whatever, Sarah decides--that’s his problem. She’s tired and feverish and annoyed and she’s going to sleep whether Jareth likes it or not. She thinks he’s talking to someone--probably that snitch in the closet--about something--sounded vaguely like library and cold--but that’s Not Her Concern. Sarah is done here. She feels the end of the couch sink down by her feet just before she falls asleep.

When she wakes up, the Goblin King is still there, reading a book filched from one of her shelves, pen tapping idly against his lips--he’s marking up the fairy tales again, god, she hates his guts sometimes--and there’s a series of tidy piles on the rickety coffee table. It looks like someone robbed a pharmacy and cleaned out their Cough And Cold aisle, and then sorted their booty by color, which suggests probably goblins just smart enough to recognize a word their king showed them, but not smart enough to read the labels.

Sarah smiles a little and grabs some cough drops from the top of the red pile, and condescends to drape her legs over Jareth’s lap before she goes back to sleep.

22) Where does their first kiss happen?

Sarah has a much harder time in college than she expected. Not with being away from home, although she does miss Toby something awful and spends every second of her breaks with him. No, the problem is that she has to share a room. All the way through freshman year, she has a roommate, and--

And the roommate is fine, she’s a perfectly inoffensive girl from Chicago who keeps her things on her own side of the shoebox room they share and doesn’t bring anyone back to the room and never makes noise late at night, but Sarah hates it. She can’t quite put her finger on why--is a little afraid of what she might say if pressed, if she’s honest. She has these half-finished thoughts that involve words like territory and invader and mine. Sarah has worked very hard not to be a selfish teenager or, possibly worse, the kind of girl who sometimes talks to a Goblin King and wonders privately if his final offer was serious.

Sarah has no plans to be the Goblin Queen, is the point, no matter what Hoggle mutters under his breath when she admits, the summer after her first year of college, that she’s talking to Jareth again. (He just--he can come see her, there, and he can look like a person, and none of her other friends can, and people are weirdly nervous of Sarah, these days, and she was lonely, okay, so she let an owl into her room while her roommate was gone, and let them who never made a bad choice in college throw the first stone.) And that means getting over herself and never voicing any of the thoughts that creep into her head about how her roommate, who has every right to sleep here, deserves to be thrown in an oubliette for disturbing Sarah’s peace.

Sarah is better than that, these days.

The only person who isn’t fooled is, of course, Jareth, who is very perceptive and also very persistently determined to visit regularly. He smothers smirks when he sees Sarah force herself to be kind, and once offers, sweet as arsenic, to take Sarah’s roommate off her hands if you just say the right words, precious. Sarah glares at him and pointedly turns her back, and he laughs as he leaves. But he never does anything to her roommate, and Sarah doesn’t think about how Jareth never actually does anything to her space or anything in it, and doesn’t think about the rules that fairy tales handed down for millennia about places that fall under the power of a creature not to be toyed with.

She’s signed up to room with the same girl for sophomore year, because she doesn’t have a reason to claim a single and seniors always snap up the free ones. But she shows up to get her key, and the registrar frowns and clicks a few things and then shrugs and hands Sarah a key. He gives Sarah directions to one of the buildings up-campus, and Sarah goes, not particularly suspicious--she’s never been to the up-campus buildings, because people are nervous around Sarah and, while she’s manages to make a friend or two, no one really invites her back to their room. Into their space.

Sarah opens her door and stands there, staring, mildly shocked.

Apparently, she is now the proud resident of a senior-only dorm room, one of the very tiny apartments that are supposed to house two people, with a kitchenette and a couch and everything. There’s no one else’s name on the other door. Sarah is late moving in, but there’s no sign of anyone here, except--

The Goblin King is sitting at the desk in the bedroom that gets the most sunlight, feet kicked lazily up on the wooden top and playing a pair of crystals between his fingers, and he smirks at her.

“I know, I know,” he drawls, vanishing the crystals with a twist of his fingers. “I have no power over you. But the school’s quartermaster--”

“Registrar,” Sarah corrects automatically. He makes a dismissive gesture. “Did you--do this?”

“Of course,” Jareth says. “This...situation is apparently the height of luxury at this institution. You did so despise that fluttering creature--”

“Molly was perfectly nice--”

“--and I see no reason for you to endure her for another year.”

Sarah--should really say that he’s an interfering, high-handed bastard who pretends that he has the divine right to arrange her life to his liking, and keeps rules-lawyering his way around her totally legitimate freedom from his interference.

Sarah really doesn’t want to share a room again.

“What do you want in return?” She doesn’t even pretend that she’s not suspicious, and he puts on an offended face, bringing his feet down and pressing his lips together.

“It is a gift, Sarah.”

...oh. Sarah blinks for a moment. He sounds--geniunely annoyed. Gifts are, in her knowledge of the Underground and the fae alike, serious business.

She acts without thinking, takes a step forward and tucks her hair behind her ear, and kisses the high point of his cheekbone above his frown. When she pulls back, she sees a moment of transparent, raw shock before he orders his face into a self-satisfied and haughty raised eyebrow.

“Don’t say anything,” Sarah tells him, feeling her cheeks burn. “If you can keep your mouth shut, this might resemble a nice moment.”

“If I had known that I could claim debts in kisses--”

“You can’t!” Sarah interrupts loudly. “Don’t get any ideas! Now get out and let me unpack!”

29) Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Jareth is already thoroughly decided that Sarah is eventually going to agree to be his queen, one way or another, by the time she finally sighs and opens her window and tells the owl that if he’s very very good, and doesn’t talk to Toby, and looks like a regular person, she will speak to him just to get him to stop lurking. He breaks all of those rules very quickly, of course, but she doesn’t kick him out--instead, she yells at him, and he puts on his coldest and haughtiest voice as he snaps back at her, and it’s fun. Jareth never could turn down a challenge, and it’s been a long time since he faced a challenge he might lose, and just like the first time, it makes him ruthlessly determined to win.

It’s not news to him, therefore, that he loves her.

She manages to lie, obfuscate, and generally bullshit her way around admitting what she does at school for nearly three years. But she starts writing her thesis and slips up, and Jareth is stretched on her bed in the apartment he arranged for her like he lives there when he idly picks up a piece of paper and skims her proposal and she sees his eyebrow rise slowly before he holds it up at her.

“What’s this, precious?”

“Homework,” she says flatly.

“‘Thesis Proposal,’” he reads aloud, drawling. “‘Sarah Williams. Proposed title: I’d’ve Et Thy Heart of Flesh: Fairy Tales as a Portrait of Royalty Through History. Majors: Folklore and...’” His mocking drawl pauses, and he can’t quite hide his transparent delight as he finishes the sentence. “‘...and Political Science.’”

When he looks up from the page, she has a stubborn set to her mouth and a bright spark in her eyes, almost angry. “It’s not about you, you arrogant prick, I picked my majors years ago. Give me that, I need the notes.”

“And what do fairy tales say about royalty, dearest?”

“That they’re prideful jerks who steal kids for armies and play favorites--the paper, Jareth.”

“And what do you plan to do with your degree in politics?”

“Regicide,” Sarah snaps, and jumps out of her chair to snatch the paper out of his fingers. He lets her, and smiles at the way she blushes stark red across her cheekbones and down her throat, and wonders whether she would like the emerald ring he’s kept in his private chambers for the past three years.

Mortals have been doing diamonds, for betrothals, but he thinks green suits her better.

#labyrinth #sarah williams #jareth #sarah x jareth #otp: what's said is said #starlight writes stuff #this is legitimately three entire mini-fics i'm so sorry i just love them #ask meme #headcanon meme #anyway for the curious the time sarah gets sick is in junior year so these are slightly out of order #sarah and jareth probably get engaged after sarah graduates and she insists on being allowed to go to grad school before anything Else #(she knows there's a time limit on how long she can get away with lingering in the mortal world--she doesn't look quite right anymore)#(she strongly suspects that she's not aging anymore and jareth has NOT been reassuring about it)#so she gets a degree in (basically) monarchies and how they work #this time it IS actually about jareth and he's extremely smug about it #Anonymous #asked and answered #a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge

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dreamyyang · 3 years

Text

summary: you made taeil’s undead heart soar and he was absolutely addicted to the feeling.

pairing(s): yandere!zombie!moon taeil x reader | kim doyoung x reader

warning(s): swearing, obsessive behaviour, mentions of blood, gore (kind of..?), minor character death, cannibalism, non con (taeil forcefully kisses the reader)

word count: 2.6k words

a/n: this is pretty heavy stuff so if any of the aforementioned content triggers you, do not read. please note that I do not condone taeil’s behaviour and that this is purely a work of fiction. my fic is not an accurate representation of taeil’s actual personality.

part of @127-mile’s addiction collab

emotions were as foreign to moon taeil as brains and human flesh once were. while he doesn’t mind either of them, they were just very hard to come by. that changed when he got a job at the qian family’s mortuary, courtesy of qian kun, a mutual friend. johnny had already explained taeil’s special situation to kun, who agreed to give taeil access to the bodies so long as he worked as kun’s assistant. it was an excellent arrangement for both men - taeil could finally eat some proper food while kun finally had help. for obvious reasons, not many people were willing to work at a morgue, especially for such low wages.

taeil managed to ease himself into a routine of work, brains, sleep then repeat. while many people would eventually go insane from being constantly surrounded by cold, still bodies, taeil couldn’t care less. a zombie couldn’t ask for a better arrangement. while he did not experience emotions, he still felt a semblance of peace.

at least, that was before you showed up, completely unannounced. of course, your arrival wasn’t completely random, kun did warn taeil that his cousin was coming home after getting their phd, but you weren’t what taeil expected. he had this mental image of you being stoic and reserved. he thought you’d briefly acknowledge him with a slight nod while visiting your cousin and that would be it. imagine his surprise when he came to work and was greeted by a smile brighter than the sun. you were like the human embodiment of a meadow of flowers in the summer - warm, wonderful and welcoming. hell, you even smelled like flowers.

suddenly, his daily routine was ruined.

most mornings, you would meet him at the mortuary, looking as fresh as a daisy, and hand him an equally fresh box of baked goods from the bakery next to your clinic. if it was a slow morning, and it usually was, you would make small talk with him while kun went over the day’s plans in his office. he began to cherish those morning conversations with you and his undead heart would sink when the clock struck nine and it was time for you to hug him and kun goodbye. from then on, he was usually in a sour mood for the rest of the day, not humouring the silly jokes kun made as they worked. he would get off work with a dull ache in his heart if you weren’t there to pick kun up or offer to take them out for drinks.

this abrupt change frightened taeil more than anything. why was he suddenly experiencing these strange feelings? he hated it. every day, he was going through a rollercoaster of emotions that would be decided by whether or not he saw his boss’ cousin. it was so absurd. in the past five years of him being a zombie, he hadn’t felt such extreme emotions before. they all felt so...so human.

when he consulted johnny about these strange occurrences, his friend began to howl with laughter, “dude, it’s so obvious!”

taeil glared at johnny, “care to explain what exactly is so obvious?”

“you like y/n. why else would you be constantly pining for them?”

taeil scoffed. johnny must have smoked something because there was no way he liked you. at best, he had known you for three months and it isn’t like you regularly spent time together. plus, you were related to his boss. johnny had no idea what he was talking about, he was full of shit.

“that’s bullshit. I don’t buy it,” taeil shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

“no I swear, it’s true! we drove past this factory and they were just beheading these chickens out in the open,” you sighed. “anyway, the sight was so sickening, I’ve never looked at meat the same way since.”

“yet you decided to be a thoracic surgeon.”

you shrugged, “yeah but operating on people and eating meat are two different things. I don’t mind looking at flesh and blood but the thought of eating any makes me sick.”

taeil silently thanked you as you made that statement. ever since johnny had suggested that taeil liked you, he’d been searching for reasons not to like you. and of course, there’s no way he could like you if you were a vegetarian. you would be absolutely disgusted if you knew what his main diet consisted of. yet, every now and then, he felt his mind drifting away to a different mental list - a list of the things he liked about you.

he liked how you would come up with the most absurd conversation starters, just to make him crack a smile. he liked how your hugs were warm and comfortable. he was even beginning to like the fuzzy feeling that would envelop his heart whenever he was around you. you made him giddy and lovesick and eventually, he didn’t mind anymore. being around you all the time forced him to accept that he had very strong feelings for you. in fact, he was certain that even as a human, he had never had feelings this intense. there was just something special about you that had him feeling some sort of way. normally, he would have been afraid of how you controlled your heart but now? he was in too deep to care.

he decided it was better for him to just accept the fact that he loved you. why try to fight it? it was highly unlikely that he would feel this way about anyone ever again. he had to hold onto you, he would be insane to let you go.

finally, he plucked up the courage to confess to you. he was falling for you more and more every single day, and not being with you was slowly killing him. he decided to surprise you at the clinic where you worked with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. he planned to treat you to lunch at a romantic café then confess to you while walking you back to the clinic. he had rehearsed the little speech he wanted to give over twenty times with johnny, who repeatedly assured him that everything would go well.

it did not go well.

taeil was greeted by a unpleasant surprise when he reached the entrance of the clinic. there you stood, his beloved y/n, in another man’s arms. taeil watched, horrified, as the man placed a soft kiss on your lips. you looked so happy with him and it broke taeil’s heart. he felt awful as he watched you smile at the man. that same wonderful smile that he wished was for his eyes only. it felt like a cruel joke to have your laughter fill his ears as tears pricked his eyes. taeil was glad that nobody was paying attention to him as hot tears stained his cheeks. he couldn’t have gotten away sooner, pushing past the people on the street to go home.

he quickly texted an excuse to kun about how he felt sick and would be gone for the rest of the day. it wasn’t exactly a lie - he did feel sick and every time he thought about you and the stranger, it only got worse. he ripped up the bouquet and the plastic that had been wrapped around their stems, screaming as he did it. pain bled into fury as he destroyed the beautiful flowers. he was unbelievably angry and wouldn’t stop until every last petal had been snatched from the base and scattered on the floor. he was blinded by rage as he made a mess of his apartment floor. finally, the bouquet had been completely ripped apart and tears cleared taeil’s vision.

he dropped to the floor, feeling miserable as he stared at the mess, tears streaking down his face. he loved you so much, but someone had stolen you away. how dare that asshole? you were supposed to be taeil’s, how could he just come between the two of you like that? how incredibly selfish of him. taeil had to get rid of him, as soon as possible. the more time you spend with that jerk, the more he’ll ruin you. taeil scowled at the memory of the two of you kissing. he will pay.

it was decided. taeil was going to make you his, one way or another. whether you liked it or not.

“I hate this, taeil.”

taeil nodded, feigning sympathy as you pouted and continued to complain, “doyoung’s been so busy the past week that he hasn’t been able to call me even once. he just sends brief texts… I really miss him.”

“that sucks, y/n, but you know, it’s a very demanding job.”

“yeah I know…but would it kill him to at least call to say good night?” you sighed, sipping your tea. “whatever. thank you so much for listening to my rant, taeil, I really appreciate it. you’re an awesome friend.”

the word stung, but taeil tried not to show it as he smiled and promised you that he didn’t mind. which was half true. taeil could never get tired of listening to you talk about any topic but one - kim doyoung, your boyfriend. it didn’t really matter, though. soon, taeil would make sure that you would forget all about that piece of shit. soon, moon taeil would be the only thing on your mind, just like how you were the only thing on his min

but first he had to punish you. you deserved it. if you hadn’t gone and dated another man, he wouldn’t have considered such a thing. you needed to be disciplined. you belonged to taeil and he was going to make sure that you remembered that fact. so he sat there in front of you, politely nodding as you vented about your boyfriend, and tried to think of a suitable punishment.

“I know I’m complaining about him a lot, but I really like doyoung,” you laughed. “even though he took me to a barbecue place for our first date.”

that’s when a lightbulb went off in taeil’s brain.

for someone who couldn’t survive without eating brains, taeil sure was an idiot. somehow, he’d gotten roped into a dinner date with you, doyoung and doyoung’s sister, jisoo. at least he managed to convince you to let him host the dinner at his apartment, insisting that he wanted to make a good first impression on jisoo. you’d wiggled your eyebrows and teased him about it but he knew, deep down, setting him up with someone else was hurting you. but you wouldn’t have to worry about hiding your feelings for much longer - taeil would soon relieve you of your misery. ideally of course, he wouldn’t want to start off your relationship with a double date with other people. not to mention your little punishment, but hey, all relationships have their ups and downs.

now if he could just get that pesky little jisoo out of the way.

after briefly stalking doyoung’s instagram account, taeil managed to find jisoo’s account and figured out where she worked. getting her to stay away was easier than he thought it would be. all he had to do was press a small knife against her neck and she was begging for him to leave her alone. he left her trembling in the alley behind her office, with her tears stinging the small cut that ran down the side of her cheek. he wasn’t worried about her telling her brother since that’s who he’d be visiting next.

he had to say, out of all the humans he’d made dishes out of, doyoung was certainly the best. probably because his meat was actually fresh, but you really seemed to enjoy him as well.

“god taeil, your spaghetti is wonderful. I can’t believe doyoung and jisoo are missing out,” you nearly moaned as you devoured your dinner. “these are the best vegan meatballs I’ve ever had. seriously, how’d you make this?”

taeil shrugged, “I used a pretty basic recipe, although I did use something extra special for those meatballs.”

“would you mind sharing what that special thing is, master moon?”

taeil’s smile dropped, his expression completely serious now. you didn’t think much of it, taeil was probably just being dramatic. however his tone as he spoke his next sentence sent a chill down your spine.

“enough dilly-dallying. tell me, sweetheart, did you really think you could get away with dating another man?”

you were too stunned to speak, what the fuck did he just say?

“woah, don’t get shy now. did you seriously think you could go be someone else's whore and I wouldn’t get mad?”

“taeil, what on earth are you talking about?”

you looked like a scared and helpless little rabbit and taeil would be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel some type of way. taeil’s predatory gaze burned into your eyes, ensnaring you and refusing to let go. you were confused. why was taeil behaving like this? why was he so angry with you? but you were certain about one thing: tonight was not going to end well for you.

with a gentle voice, you tried to calm him down so the two of you could have a rational conversation but taeil wasn’t having any of it. he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you up to your feet, stepping away from the dining table and pulling you close till your chest brushed against his. suddenly, his steely gaze slightly softened.

“y/n, my love, I hope you know that I didn’t want to do this to you, but you left me no choice. you forced my hand.”

tears were beginning to well up in your eyes. taeil was getting frustrated. you knew exactly what he was talking about yet you were acting as though taeil was speaking in cryptic messages. taeil noticed your tears and tsked, cupping your cheeks. there was no point in you crying now. the deed was done. taeil was hoping you’d learnt your lesson so the two of you could move past this.

“don’t cry, sweetheart. at least, not until you know what I did.”

“but taeil, I don’t even know what I’ve done,” you sniffed lightly.

“darling, I love you. and I know you love me too, you don’t need to say it. but why did you have to go and date doyoung? do you know how much that hurt me?”

you shook your head, “taeil, I really didn’t know how you felt. but I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way.”

taeil glared and tightened his grip on your jaw, “fucking lies! that dickhead doyoung has brainwashed you. oh my precious y/n, I feel so awful for punishing you the way I did, but how else will I fix you?”

“what do you mean?” you asked, afraid of the answer he was going to give you.

“those vegan meatballs, darling. although I suppose the term ‘doyoung meatballs’ would be more accurate.”

your beautiful features were twisted into a look of pure horror as realisation dawned upon you. taeil couldn’t help but let his lips form a maniacal grin. he was rather proud, even if he did say so himself. doyoung would never be a problem ever again. nor would anyone else be, for that matter. taeil knew that you were his good, obedient little y/n. you wouldn’t dare to hurt him ever again. satisfied, he leaned in and forced you into a kiss. you were too shocked to fight back.

as he pulled away, he pushed the hair out of your face.

“remember to behave yourself, darling.”

#nct 127 #nct #moon taeil #nct taeil #nct writings #nct fics #nct angst #nct 127 angst #nct 127 x reader #moon taeil x reader #taeil x reader #taeil angst #yandere!nct #yandere au #zombie au #nct au #yandere!taeil #nct horror

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

Text

After everything is said and done

This is dedicated to that one Nie Huaisang hater out there, who takes precious time out of their day to read about a character they hate and then also leave a (sometimes detailed and insightful) comment, not only increasing hits and comments, but also showing every Sangcheng writer out there, that their writing is good enough to even keep someone interested who hates one of the characters!

I'm sure you inspired a lot of Sangcheng fics out there by now and I would like to thank you for that. I hope you enjoy this too!

Jiang Cheng thinks that he should probably stop with the pacing now.

It’s been several weeks—almost months, by now—since the events at the Temple and with every passing day it gets more unlikely that Nie Huaisang will drop by to rekindle their friendship.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t even dare to hope for anything more than friendship—and that seems wildly unlikely already—but it still stings that Nie Huaisang had called off whatever they had all those years ago without an explanation or even a face-to-face conversation.

He had just let it dwindle to nothing, no matter how hard Jiang Cheng tried to keep him, and in retrospect Jiang Cheng understands, but still.

It really goddamn hurts.

“You need to stop this,” Jin Ling suddenly says from behind Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng is less surprised than he probably should be that Jin Ling is here.

He’s busy taking over his own Sect, salvaging whatever reputation is left after the crimes of Jin Guangyao were revealed, but Jin Ling is almost more often at Lotus Pier than he was before.

Jiang Cheng suspects it’s to keep an eye on him and Wei Wuxian, to make sure that they actually rekindle their relationship and don’t kill themselves, but Jiang Cheng is not going to complain.

He always thought he wouldn’t get to see Jin Ling at all once he became Sect Leader and it’s great that he’s still around. That he still cares enough about Jiang Cheng to regularly come by.

“Stop what?” Jiang Cheng says, and picks right back up where he left off, mainly wearing a path into the pier right behind his sleeping quarters.

“That,” Jin Ling says with a nod to Jiang Cheng’s movement. “He’s not going to come by, you know,” Jin Ling tacks on more quietly and Jiang Cheng frowns.

“Who?”

“You damn well know who,” Jin Ling snaps out.

“Language,” Jiang Cheng says out of reflex and Jin Ling only rolls his eyes at him. “What would you know about that?” Jiang Cheng asks belatedly and Jin Ling stares out over the water.

“He’s not talking to anyone,” Jin Ling finally tells him with a whisper and it only makes the frown on Jiang Cheng’s face more pronounced. “He’s answering letters about Sect business, but he foregoes any personal matters, and he doesn’t answer letters that contain no business at all.”

“You’ve been writing him,” Jiang Cheng summarizes from that and Jin Ling nods.

He doesn’t seem too happy about it, but there’s a stubborn twist to his mouth.

“And what of it?” he dares Jiang Cheng who gives him a sad smile.

“Nothing,” Jiang Cheng reassures him. “He was almost like an honorary uncle to you. It’s understandable that you’d want to stay in contact if you can forgive him.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Jin Ling rushes out and then works his jaw. “He exposed Jin Guangyao’s crimes. That’s a good thing. There’s nothing he did wrong.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t quite think the same, but he has to agree with the overall sentiment. It’s a good thing that Nie Huaisang took actions against Jin Guangyao when everyone else was too busy happily following his lead, even though Jiang Cheng doesn’t agree with all of Nie Huaisang’s actions.

Mostly the ones that put Jin Ling into danger, if Jiang Cheng is being honest, but he also knows Nie Huaisang well enough to know that he most likely did the best he could to protect him.

And since Nie Huaisang isn’t coming by and apparently not talking to anyone else either, that has to be enough.

“I think you have to make the first step,” Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, who clearly seems unhappy with the whole situation but it only earns a scoff from Jin Ling.

“Like you’re making the first step?” he asks and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“Careful, brat,” he advises but Jin Ling doesn’t seem impressed at all.

And maybe he’s right about that, too; Jiang Cheng isn’t one to make the first step when it’s important to him. He relied on Wei Wuxian to take that first step towards a reconciliation, and Wei Wuxian thankfully did so that their relationship is slowly mending.

It’s possible that Jiang Cheng used up all his luck with that though, and that it’s on him to take a first step towards Nie Huaisang now.

“But?” Jin Ling asks and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“Maybe you’re right,” he then admits and rolls his eyes when Jin Ling beams at him. “But after I’m done, it’s your turn,” he then warns him but Jin Ling is clearly too happy to listen to him at all.

“I love you, jiu-jiu,” Jin Ling says and darts in for a hug, before he skips away.

Clearly Jiang Cheng’s mood the past several weeks grated on him as well, and Jiang Cheng knows his nephew well enough to know that he wants to wait for the outcome of Jiang Cheng’s reconciliation attempt before Jin Ling tries it himself.

Jiang Cheng can’t even be mad at him; he would do the same if he had the chance, after all.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng tries his very best to not feel like an intruder when he walks up to Qinghe but it’s a lost cause.

People are staring at him left and right and Jiang Cheng’s skin crawls with it because he can’t quite decipher if they are hostile looks or friendly ones.

He’s hoping for the last of course, but you never know with the Nie’s.

Jiang Cheng tenses when someone approaches him, but he returns the bow he receives.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” the Nie soldier says and Jiang Cheng raises an eyebrow. “Please, let me introduce myself, my name is Nie Yahui, I’m Sect Leader Nie’s personal assistant. Please tell me you’re here to see him,” he adds in a rush and Jiang Cheng relaxes.

So they were friendly looks, then. It seems like Nie Huaisang’s disciples are just as worried about Nie Huaisang as Jiang Cheng himself is.

“I am,” Jiang Cheng reassures him and Nie Yahui let’s out a visible breath.

“Then please follow me,” he says and briskly starts to walk away.

Jiang Cheng follows him, wondering what state Nie Huaisang will be in when he finally sees him and he can’t deny that his heart is beating faster.

He knows it’s stupid to hope for anything, but these past few years Jiang Cheng only hurt when he thought about Nie Huaisang, thinking he stopped whatever they had or were on the brink of because he didn’t feel the same.

Now there’s hope that Nie Huaisang pulled away because of his plan and not because of a lack of feelings.

“He’s in there,” Nie Yahui tells Jiang Cheng when they reached what looks like private quarters so Jiang Cheng gives Nie Yahui a questioning look.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s not going to hold an audience for you—or anyone, for that matter—and if we have to ambush him here like this, then so be it,” he decides and Jiang Cheng has to admit he likes him.

“Thank you,” he tells Nie Yahui and then simply throws the door open.

He sees Nie Huaisang startle, but Jiang Cheng is by no means done, so he slams the door behind him and turns towards Nie Huaisang with a glare.

“You asshole,” he hisses and simply seats himself at the table, not waiting for Nie Huaisang’s permission. “I want alcohol,” Jiang Cheng decides when he thinks it takes Nie Huaisang too long to react and that, finally, startles Nie Huaisang into movement.

He gets out the alcohol on reflex it seems, before everything seems to catch up on him, and before he puts the jar on the table he stops and frowns.

“What are you doing here?” he then asks and he looks painfully unsure of himself.

Jiang Cheng can’t deny that he built up this image in his head over the last few weeks, of a cunning and vicious Nie Huaisang, but this more than anything reminds Jiang Cheng of the fact that this is still just Nie Huaisang.

Nothing much changed after all.

“Alcohol first,” Jiang Cheng decides and simply plucks the jar out of Nie Huaisang’s hands. “Talking about feelings later.”

Nie Huaisang huffs out a laugh at that, and he seats himself opposite of Jiang Cheng, who is already pouring them both a cup.

They drink in silence, until Jiang Cheng thinks that both of them had enough time to gather their wits, and then he very decidedly puts the cup down.

Nie Huaisang startles and his hand flexes as if he wants to reach for his fan, but Jiang Cheng is glad that it’s out of reach for now. He doesn’t like to hold this conversation with Nie Huaisang while he has a chance to hide himself away.

“You didn’t write,” Jiang Cheng starts with. “And you didn’t visit. And here I thought now that everything is said and done, we could be friends again.”

It doesn’t come easy to him to say that, but he wants this to work and he learned from Wei Wuxian that sometimes reconciliations are painful as hell.

Jiang Cheng thinks it might be a good thing.

“I didn’t think you’d want to,” Nie Huaisang admits and Jiang Cheng scoffs.

“Yeah, but you also didn’t ask, asshole,” he shoots back and then sighs. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Nie Huaisang is quick to reassure him. “I promise, I’m not doing anything!”

Jiang Cheng frowns at that.

“Did someone insist you want more power?” he asks and Nie Huaisang flinches.

“Wei-xiong might have indicated something like this,” he then admits and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Because he’s afraid that you’ll go after his precious husband. It has nothing to do with you directly. His brain just stops working when it comes to Lan Wangji.��

That startles a laugh out of Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng feels very accomplished.

If he still knows Nie Huaisang like this, maybe not all is lost yet.

“You haven’t been talking to anyone?” Jiang Cheng asks next, Jin Ling’s words still in his ears and Nie Huaisang shrugs.

“I didn’t expect anyone to still want to talk to me,” he easily says, but Jiang Cheng can see the tension in his body. “I mean san-ge is dead, and rightfully so, but er-ge won’t ever look at me again and Lan-xiong won’t simply because I hurt his brother. Wei-xiong is more concerned about his husband than any kind of reconciliation we could have and Jin Ling has every reason to hate me. And you—” he trails off and Jiang Cheng groans.

“Well, first of all, Lan Xichen is not looking at anyone, since he went into seclusion, so stop throwing yourself a pity-party over that, because you’re not special. Second, Lan Wangji is not too happy with you—as is Wei Wuxian—because they didn’t expect you to be behind it all. You fooled them quite thoroughly and it will take them a while to get over that. And Jin Ling would love to talk to you, but he says you’re blocking off all attempts.”

“Because I wouldn’t put it past him to only pretend to be nice and then murder me in my sleep,” Nie Huaisang says, his eyes wide and his look innocent and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“Drop the act,” he whispers and Nie Huaisang sags.

“You know, not everything I do is an act,” he bitterly says, and Jiang Cheng’s heart constricts at the pain in his voice.

“I know that,” he tries to reassure him. “But you also know Jin Ling. So tell me the real reason.”

Nie Huaisang looks at him for long moments, before he sighs.

“I fear he’s going to regret it in the end. That he’ll feel guilty over trying to forgive me later.”

“He’s not trying to forgive you because he thinks there’s nothing to forgive,” Jiang Cheng quietly tells him, his last conversation with Jin Ling still present in his mind. “He knows Jin Guangyao deserved it, and it probably helps that he was there to see him in the end,” Jiang Cheng adds, even though he would have loved to see Jin Ling far, far away from that.

“I didn’t mean for him to get hurt.”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng says and stares down at the table.

“What about you?” Nie Huaisang finally asks and he sounds just as apprehensive as Jiang Cheng feels.

“I thought you would write once everything was over and you didn’t have to pretend to not feel anything for me anymore,” Jiang Cheng says before he can think better of it, but the silence that follows is deafening.

So maybe he did read everything wrong. Maybe there wasn’t a deeper reason to Nie Huaisang pulling away; maybe he simply got tired of Jiang Cheng after all.

“Never mind that, then,” Jiang Cheng forces himself to say and he empties his cup. “I’ll take my leave then.”

“I didn’t think you’d forgive me,” Nie Huaisang confesses and Jiang Cheng freezes in his movement. “We were about to become something and then I simply dropped you. It not easily forgiven, and especially not with your history.”

“Fuck you,” Jiang Cheng spits out and he throws a murderous glare at Nie Huaisang. “Yes, it hurt like hell when it happened, and it hurt like hell the years after. But now there’s a reason for it, and it doesn’t make it okay, but it makes it understandable.”

“But is that enough?” Nie Huaisang whispers.

“That depends,” Jiang Cheng says. “Did you have reasons?”

“Of course I did!” Nie Huaisang immediately says. “I would have told you, but you can’t pretend long-term, you’re just not the type for that, and you would have told him, if only so that he didn’t take Jin Ling away from you completely. So not telling you was the better option.”

Jiang Cheng mulls that over for a moment, because he figured as much, but he’s still lacking an important piece of information.

“Did you regret it? Did it hurt you?” he wants to know and he knows himself well enough to know that Nie Huaisang’s answer to this will determine if they can go forward with this.

Even if it is just as friends. Jiang Cheng would still like that; he misses having friends.

“I don’t regret it, because it was necessary to avenge da-ge,” Nie Huaisang whispers and he can’t meet Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “But it does hurt. I loved you and I would have liked for us to be more than what we were.”

Ah, and there it is. It’s all past, apparently, and only Jiang Cheng’s stupid heart keeps clinging to something that is no longer possible.

“I see,” he whispers and tries his best to drown his breaking heart in more alcohol.

He knew it was stupid to hope for anything when he went into this, but he still wasn’t prepared for how much it actually hurts to hear that Nie Huaisang doesn’t love him anymore.

It’s not a surprise, if Jiang Cheng is being honest; it’s been years and they are both changed people, and yet Jiang Cheng can’t stop hoping that at least their friendship is salvageable if the other thing so clearly isn’t.

“And what now?” Jiang Cheng forces himself to ask, but he realizes his mistake when Nie Huaisang answers.

“We don’t really know each other anymore,” Nie Huaisang reluctantly says and Jiang Cheng curses himself, because he didn’t mean that.

But before he can correct himself, Nie Huaisang goes on.

“But I would like to get to know you again, if you’d be open to that.”

It makes Jiang Cheng freeze.

“As—friends?” he asks, furiously not daring to hope for more, but his heart beats faster when Nie Huaisang blushes.

“Or the other thing,” he says, clearly nervous about it and Jiang Cheng can’t help but to smile at that.

Nie Huaisang doesn’t see, because he’s very adamantly keeping his eyes on the table in front of them, and so Jiang Cheng simply pours himself another cup.

Nie Huaisang let him wait for years, a few moments won’t kill him now.

“We don’t have to, of course,” Nie Huaisang finally blurts out when it clearly becomes too much for him and Jiang Cheng takes a sip before he carefully puts the cup down again.

“I expect dates,” he then decisively says and Nie Huaisang’s head snaps up as fast as his fans usually do.

“What?” he breathes out.

“You will take me on dates, because you fucked this up to begin with and you’re going to make it up to me,” Jiang Cheng tells him and his heart stumbles a little bit when a smile overtakes Nie Huaisang’s face.

“Done,” he eagerly agrees and he seems as happy as Jiang Cheng has ever seen him.

“And don’t just quit on me again,” Jiang Cheng adds more quietly. “We were friends, first, weren’t we?”

“You’re right,” Nie Huaisang says and he scoots around the table until he sits directly next to Jiang Cheng. “We were friends—still are—and it was shitty what I did. I’m sorry for how I just left you,” he says, and it’s more than Jiang Cheng expected, because he knows Nie Huaisang doesn’t actually feel sorry about how he brought Jin Guangyao down.

“Just see to it that you don’t do it again,” Jiang Cheng decides and leans a little to the side, just enough to press their shoulders together.

They sit like this for a while, just basking in the presence of the other, knowing that nothing is completely broken between them, before Nie Huaisang speaks again.

“Does this already count as a date?” he asks and Jiang Cheng laughs, he’s so surprised.

“Absolutely not,” he decides. “I came to you. You have to do way better than this. I want to see initiative.”

“You want to be courted,” Nie Huaisang nods, clearly coming up with a plan already, and while it’s not completely what Jiang Cheng meant, he will take it.

Being courted by Nie Huaisang doesn’t sound bad at all, after all.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #sangcheng #post-canon #hurt/comfort #reconciliation #they actually kinda talk about feelings #courting

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alirhi · 3 years

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Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

#loki #loki spoilers #loki series #loki negativity #loki hate #thor 2011 #the dark world #ragnarok #the avengers #infinity war #endgame #fuck sylvie #fuck marvel #fuck disney #this show sucked #ragepost #rant #long post #ali is angry

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