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#be honest. its what you want- not your god
back2bluesidex · 2 days
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We Need Practice - JJK (18+)
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A Sequel to Novice.
Pairing: Pornstar!Jungkook X Fem!Reader
Theme: Fluff, smut
Wordcount: 2.1k+
Summary: Jungkook wants you to ride him and you are too bad at that.
Warnings: Unprotected sex, messy cock riding, cumming all over body, they are down bad for each other, more fluff than I intended to have, confessions. NSFW!!
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
Masterlist | Patreon
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“Don’t judge a book by its cover” 
You have heard this phrase for thousands of times in your entire lifetime but you have hardly had any chance of actually implying the same in your life. 
But then you met Jungkook and you understood how true that one sentence can be. 
Jeon Jungkook is the text-book definition of what those cliched bad-boys or fuckboys would look like. 
With a hand full of tattoos, silver rings dangling from piercings, impressively structured body and a small waist that could rival female models, he really looks like someone who would be fucking people and putting on a show out of it. 
And that is exactly what he does. 
Pornstar Jeon Jungkook is actually very notorious. 
But Jeon Jungkook as a person is a completely different story. 
After that one encounter at that porn movie set, he asked for your number and you complied with his request thinking of he could give you some of the best fucks of your life (not that you have had many fucks to brag about in the first place). 
If you are being honest, then you never expected him to be the sweetheart that he actually is. Since the day you two exchanged numbers, he never once asked if he could come over during god-forbidden hours of night. He never once asked for your nude pictures, neither did he ever force you to meet him. 
Rather he sends you funny dog videos, funny tik tok clips and asks you how was your day. And you can’t lie about the fact that your heart has already started acting strange, like it flutters everytime Jungkook’s name glows on your dark phone screen. 
It’s been more than a month since you have been chatting regularly and now you are getting a little impatient. 
As much as you appreciate his good-boy vibes, you would like to see him again, touch him again. 
So you do what you have been thinking of doing for more than a week now. 
“Sleeping?” you hit send, praying to the universe that he doesn’t find you a desperate bitch for what you are going to do. 
The clock reads 2:15 am already, and just then his reply arrives, “nah. Can’t sleep. What about you?” 
“Me too. Can’t sleep.” 
You take a deep breath before typing the next message, “do you wanna hangout?” 
Just when you are about to add “at my place” to complete your proposition, his reply hits your screen, “Send me your address. And wear something warm before I ask you to come out.” 
Wait. is he? Taking you out? 
Even though you were trying to ask for sex but this option feels even better to be honest. 
So you send him your address and he texts you that he will be there within 10 minutes. Wearing your gray padding, you wait for him to arrive at your place. 
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Another positive point about Jeon Jungkook is that he is punctual. You might even call him a green flag because your phone dings with a “I am here” text right on 2:27 am. 
The scene that unfolds in front of you once you come out of your apartment, almost leaves your jaw hanging mid air. 
Jungkook has arrived with a bike, dressed in complete black. If you drooled a little at the sight then you would never admit that. 
Once he sees you awkwardly walking towards him, he takes off his helmet and welcomes you with one of his infamous bunny smiles. 
Your heart does a little flip inside your chest. 
His big doe eyes shine amid the darkness as if those are made of some priceless stone. At this moment it’s really tough to believe that he is a pornstar, who fucks people on camera to earn a living. 
“Hey. you look beautiful.” he greets you with a compliment when you come close to him. 
“You look even more handsome today.” you return his compliment genuinely. And at that, the tip of his ears turn red. 
“Ah thanks.” he replies shyly as he hands you a helmet. And gestures to you to mount his fancy bike. 
You take the helmet, slip that on your head and hold him by his shoulders to climb on his bike. 
Once you have settled, he revves the engine. 
“Hold me tightly” he says briefly before setting the bike in motion. You wrap your arms around his waist and hold him just as he asked you to. 
The deserted road, the trees whooshing by, the buildings that look peaceful, everything feels so beautiful. 
Maybe it’s because of the hour or maybe it’s because you are with someone you like. 
The bike comes to a halt at a crossing and you slide up the windshield of your helmet, “where are we going?” 
He looks at you through the mirror, slides his own windshield up and gives you another sickening smile, but doesn’t say anything. 
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5 more minutes later he parks the bike beside a huge lake. 
It looks like a secluded area. The lake is mostly hidden amid big trees and surrounded by fishing spots and some benches. 
Jungkook spreads his hand before you once you both are standing side by side. 
You take the cue and place your hand on his. He intertwines his fingers with yours and you start blushing. Thanks to the darkness, he wouldn’t be able to witness it. 
Once you are sitting on a bench, Jungkook starts, “I often come here to fish with my hyungs. This is my first time coming here with a woman.” 
When you look at him, you find him already staring at you, “Really? You look like the type to have a lot of girlfriends, you know?” 
“Is it because of my profession?” there is a hint of sadness in his eyes. 
So you press on his hand, which is still intertwined with yours and say, “no. not because of that. It’s just that you are generally very attractive and charming, Jungkook.” 
His face brightens up with a beautiful smile, “Too bad, I was about to say the same about you. But you snatched my words.” 
Your eyes widen at his compliment, “You find me attractive?” 
“Why? Why are you so surprised? Is it wrong to find someone attractive?” he giggles, staring deep into your eyes. 
“No. Th-that’s not what I meant. I mean, you know, you work with far more attractive women than me. So.. it’s kind of unlikely actually.” you fumble with your words. 
Jungkook chuckles at your explanation, “they are just colleagues, Y/N. Just like any other profession, we have a strict business relationship. And honestly, they are not even my type. You, on the other hand, fit perfectly into the category of women I would love to date.” 
Your eyes go even wider at his confession, “you.. You want to date me?” 
“If you let me. If you trust me despite the nature of my profession… I would love to make you mine.” Jungkook breathes slowly, his eyes drop down to your lips. 
Before you can voice your answer, your intrusive thoughts win and you reach up, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 
“I think I would love it too.” 
And then you find yourself being pulled by the back of your neck as Jungkook crashes his lips on yours. It’s passionate, it’s overwhelming, it’s so beautiful and you never felt anything close to this. 
He licks the seam of your lower lip asking you to grant him permission, you let him inside your mouth. 
His tongue probes into your mouth testing each corner, you moan into his mouth. His other hand wraps around your waist pulling you even closer. 
And then you feel one, two, three and then multiple drops of rain falling on you two. 
He detaches his lips from yours, “fuck. It’s raining.” 
“Let’s go back to my place.” you reply, trying to cover your heads with your hands. 
It’s been one of your bucket list wishes to ride a bike in the rain with the person you love and probably it’s going to come true today. 
You hold him tightly, pressing your chest on his back, not in a sexual, but in a loving manner. It starts raining heavily within a few minutes, and Jungkook quickens his speed to reach your destination as soon as possible. 
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“Where are you going?” you place your question, seeing Jungkook putting on his helmet again after dropping in front of your apartment entrance. 
Even though the rain has turned into drizzle now, it still can be quite dangerous to drive a bike in this weather.  
“Home. Where else?” he adds a little sheepishly. 
“Jungkook, it’s still raining. I don’t think it’s any wiser to go home now, you’re drenched on top of that. Come inside. You can leave after the sunrise. If you want.. I mean.” you propose, he seems to think for a bit. 
“I don’t think I should go inside, Y/N.” Jungkook looks at the ground as if it’s more interesting than your face. 
“Why? What’s wrong?” you are truly confused now. 
“I might not be able to control myself…” his voice fades by the time he manages to end the sentence. 
“Did I say I want you to control?” you bite your lip, hoping that you don’t appear to be too desperate to him. 
His eyes go wider inside his bulky helmet. 
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Jungkook pushes your naked body on the mattress. 
“I couldn’t stop thinking of how good you felt that day.” He groans while biting down on the skin of your neck. 
Your hands roam around the smooth skin of his back. Everytime you scratch his back, he moans a little. 
“So pretty, so delicate, so perfect for me.” Jungkook groans again. 
One of his hands reaches down, finding your clit within a moment. It’s as if he has studied the map of your body with earnest interest. 
Drawing tight circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves, he pulls out melodic moans out of your throat. 
“Jun-jungkook mmm..” you moan again. 
“Yes baby. Say my name again.” he urges you while entering your heat with his middle finger. His digit plunges inside you, making you see stars indoors. 
“Jungko- I’m close” you manage to voice somehow. And as soon as those words fly out of your mouth, he empties you. 
You look at him being dumbfounded. He smirks at you, knowing what exactly he has done. 
“I want you to cum on my cock. I am hard as hell, baby.” he confesses blatantly. 
Just when you are about to hold him, he flips you around. So, now you are sitting on his thighs.  
“I want you to ride me.” he adds a little breathlessly. And you almost choke on your own spit. 
“What? I-I don’t..” 
“I will guide you, Y/N.” he cuts you off. 
He helps you in taking off his slacks along with his underwear. Once he is naked, he holds you by your waist and lines your entrance along with his cock. 
“Are you ready?” he asks briefly. You nod in affirmation. And then he is sliding you down his length. 
At first his length is overwhelming but you adjust fast. 
“You should move now.” Jungkook’s voice is laced with lust, his eyes are hazy, making him look even more attractive than he already is. 
You honestly have no idea how to move. So you try to implement your visual experience. However, it’s tough once you start bouncing on his cock. Even though Jungkook is guiding you well, you are messy regardless. 
Your moves and Jungkook’s thrusts don’t match at all and the experience is nothing like that day. 
You really are a novice. 
Even though the friction is delicious for you, Jungkook’s expression tells that he is very underwhelmed. So, you start trying your best. With a few more bounces, you cum all over his cock, creaming it perfectly. 
As soon as you are done, Jungkook flips you around again. He slips out of you and starts playing himself. 
Even though you are in your post-orgasm haze, it’s embarrassing for you. You couldn’t help him finish and he had to take the charge himself. 
With a few more pumps, he cums all over your body. Starting from your face, to your stomach, everything gets creamed in his white hot seed. 
And it’s hot. He is hot. And you are pathetic. 
“I-I’m sorry. I know it was bad.” you manage to voice once Jungkook is done with himself. 
“You are not bad, baby. We just need more practice together.” and then he is sealing his lips with yours again. 
You certainly need more practice with him. 
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Taglist:
@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie
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xoluvx · 3 days
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threesome; tomdaya x fem!reader
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smut word count: 2.5k a draft that took a mind of its own...pls enjoy
"Do you know the walls of this cabin are paper-thin? Because we could hear everything last night," Zendaya sneered taking a sip from her coffee while looking directly at you.
"Oh my god, seriously?" you asked feeling your face grow warm recalling the events of last night. It wasn't like you and Tom weren't discreet about your sex life. You had sex. Lots of it. But it hadn't crossed your mind that maybe other people didn't want to know those details of your life. At least not when they didn't have a choice in the matter.
"What was he doing to you? Geez," she scoffed playfully looking out at the lake as the two of you enjoyed the morning sun on the patio. "You were not holding back, huh?" she teased again, chuckling a little this time.
"Well, if you must know. Tom-" you started saying, but she cut you off holding up her hand. She didn't want to hear more.
"I was just joking. I don't actually want you to tell me," she scrunched her face making a disgusted look. She had a vivid imagination and an idea of what had happened in that room. She wasn't going to tell you that though.
"Oh please, don't act like you haven't thought about it before," it's like you read her mind. You looked right at her waiting to see her reaction.
Her eyes bulged and she held on to her coffee mug tighter. "Thought about what?" she asked furrowing her brows.
"Tom," you smirked crossing your legs after noticing her reaction. You leaned back on the chair as you closed your eyes feeling the breeze on your face.
Zendaya shook her head dismissing your comment.
"Come on. Tom is an attractive guy. I get it. I understand if you have thoughts about him," you raised a brow now cocking your head looking at her and waiting to see if she'd say something. But there was silence and that was telling enough.
-
"Babe, what do you think of Zendaya?" you asked throwing the decorative pillows off the bed and to the love seat in the room. You were ready to get in bed, but you were curious to know what Tom had to say about the conversation you'd had with Zendaya earlier.
"She's a good mate," he said nonchalantly, not thinking twice of your question. He continued rummaging through the drawer in the dresser you were sharing. He was looking for socks.
"She's a good mate? Tell me more," a hint of playfulness in your voice as you tossed a pillow at him before pulling the covers back and getting into bed.
Tom turned to look at you with shock. A hand went to the spot where the pillow hit him. "What was that for?" He asked dumbfounded closing the drawers, the pair of socks in his hand.
"I mean, do you think she's attractive?" you asked raising a brow waiting for his response.
"Well, yes. You'd have to be blind not to think that," he said bluntly and you laughed because he wasn't wrong. This is what you loved about him. He was so adorably cute and honest and you knew you could have this conversation with him - no awkwardness.
"Where's this coming from, love?" he asked joining you in bed. You were under the sheets as he laid on top of them resting his weight on his side as he saw you turn to look at the ceiling.
"She heard us last night. She asked what we were doing," you laughed recalling the conversation.
"So?"
"It just made me think..." your voice trailed off.
"About?" he pried placing a hand on your belly which urged you to look at him.
"Threesome," the word unfamiliar on your tongue, but oh so tempting.
"With Z?" he asked wanting clarification. Surely you couldn't have come to this conclusion from just a girls' talk with Zendaya. Who need not forget was probably one of the most proper and least into threesomes people he'd come to know. Or so he thought.
"I told her how you do that thing-" you started saying and Tom cut you off standing up from the bed and scrunching his face.
"Darling, it's bad enough she heard us. You had to go into detail?" he asked shutting his eyes. His face flushed.
"She acted like she didn't want to know, but trust me she wanted to know. I could see it in her face," you said pushing the sheets off you so you could sit on your knees as you watched Tom stand at the foot of the bed, hands on his hips.
"Here's the best part, she didn't deny thinking about it." You looked up at Tom sweetly as if you weren't just admitting one of his (and your) best friends had thought about having sex with him.
"So what do you want me to do with this information?" he asked now tilting his head.
"Nothing just wanted to let you know." You smirked and Tom shook his head chuckling a little before walking to you. He placed his hands on your face pulling you so your lips could touch. He kissed you tenderly as you placed your hands on his arms. Your heads tilted in opposite directions as your lips molded.
-
"We have a proposition," you exclaimed sitting in the same spot you'd sat with her yesterday. This time, it was later in the afternoon and there was something fruity in your cup. Your finger traced the rim of the glass as you looked at her.
Zendaya raised a brow taking a sit of her drink. "Yes?" she asked tilting her head.
"Would you care to join us...tonight?" you questioned, slouching back in your chair comfortably and nonchalantly. Like you weren't just asking your bestie to have a night of passion with both you and your man.
Zendaya gulped, but didn't respond. She looked out at the lake pondering your offer. She was curious. Of course she was curious. Especially after she, again, unintentionally heard you and Tom.
"I'll think about it," she finally replied looking at you. The sun reflecting off her eyes gloriously; you nodded in response.
-
There was a soft knock at your door, you turned to look at Tom who shrugged his shoulders but carefully sat up in bed. He was shirtless and only wearing his boxers. The covers hid half his body in this new position. You slipped the covers off your body and walked to the door.
You knew who it was. There was no doubt in your mind, but you were surprised when you opened the door. It almost went swinging when Zendaya stepped into the room, her hands on your face, lips tenderly on yours. There was softness to her that Tom came very close to. Her lips pressed firmly on yours until you started to move your lips in sync backing up a little so you could close the door until she was pressed to it. Your bodies flushed against one another.
Tom cleared his throat and the two of you pulled away to see him watching.
"Sorry, I had to do that. Confidence boost, if we're going to do this." She glanced between you and Tom. Your gaze went to Tom who tapped the bed. "Come here," he said and you held Zendaya's hand as you approached the bed.
She sat down on your side of the bed, feet planted on the ground.
"We are all okay with this?" Tom asked and you both nodded. Zendaya's back still to Tom, she was looking at you. "Okay," he whispered and he inched closer to Zendaya.
You wedged yourself between her legs and her hands tentatively brushed up your thighs. Her chest was rising and falling quickly as her fingers traced the curve of your ass. You brought your hands down to her face bringing her lips to yours. This time, the kiss was slow and sensual. Lips moving with purpose.
Zendaya felt Tom's lips on her shoulder and shuddered at the new point of contact. His lips peppered kisses along her shoulder and up her neck. She moaned into your mouth and you happily swallowed it, tongues now mingling.
Tom's fingers pulled at her hair gently tilting her head to the side, his tongue running along the side of her neck. You pulled away from kissing her to straddle her. This gave you access to same area Tom was focusing on. You kissed her collarbone before slowly moving up to where Tom's mouth was.
Your tongues met as you licked up her neck. The two of you getting lost in a kiss, your hands held on to her lower back and Tom's hands held on to your ass pressing you closer to Z. She was sandwiched between the two of you. You came back from the kiss when you felt her squirm, her hands on Tom's urging you to move your hips. You did so gladly grinding on her thighs.
You went back to kissing Zendaya as Tom lowered the straps of her nightgown revealing her perky breasts. He cupped them as you continued moving your hips on hers, lips still locked. He palmed her breasts, thumb and index finger gently pinching her nipples eliciting a string of moans from Zendaya who was now matching your movements.
"You have too much clothes on," she whispered against your lips and you gave her one more kiss before getting off her. You pulled down your shorts and matching shirt revealing your naked body. You pushed back Zendaya pulling the rest of her dress down her legs, Tom sitting next to her body, hand running up her tight torso. You were almost drooling at the scene and before you could join again you looked at Tom.
"Take it off," you demanded and he quickly got off the bed to remove the only article of clothing he was wearing. The three of you now completely naked and fully anticipating what came next.
Zendaya was still laying down on the bed, Tom grabbed her arms raising them above her head. She looked up at him, her harden nipples calling your name. You hovered over her taking one in your mouth. You sucked gently before rotating your tongue on her nipple. Tom watched carefully, your ass on full display as you leaned over her. He reached out to give you a firm spank and your groan reverberated off Zendaya's nipple causing her to let out her own groan.
Your lips trailed down her torso until you were right above her pussy. She was dying of anticipation. Yeah, she wanted to know what Tom could do, but she was more curious about you. She always had and now you were between her thighs and she swore she could cum from just that sight.
"Fuck..." Zendaya hummed as your tongue made contact with her sensitive pussy. She was throbbing for you, the sensation only rising as Tom playing with her nipples, his tongue rotating about each bud. Your tongue was focusing on her clit now. Rotating before flicking. You sucked gently before licking. You repeated the same movements over and over holding her thighs open as you felt her shake. She was close you could feel it. You felt it when you dipped your tongue in her pussy; she was tighter each time.
When you finally slipped a finger in, she couldn't control the string of moans. She was vocal and you loved that. Her arms were still raised above her head and her hips were rising too. Tom held her down firmly, hand spreading over her stomach, mouth still attached to her nipple.
"I think she's ready for you," you chocked getting up from the spot you were in, Zendaya looked down at you confused. Your lips were glistening and Tom nodded. He reached from the drawer pulling out a condom.
You switched with him laying next to her now. Your lips brushed hers sloppily and she moaned as she tasted herself on your tongue. You pressed your lips a little more firmly on hers and she groaned as you palmed her breast. You palmed it harder and she squirmed when you pinched her nipple.
Tom ran his hand up her thigh. You turned to watch him, cheek pressed on Zendaya's. She had her eyes closed, head tilted back at his touch. He leaned over to kiss you hungrily and you fisted his hair intensifying the kiss before nodding at him. You turned to Zendaya holding her jaw, forcing her to look at him.
Tom lifted her thighs before slowly bringing himself down. His member glided between her folds feeling how wet she was. You'd done that, you'd prepared her so well.
Zendaya gulped looking at Tom's dick as he pulled away, he held it in his hand and you watched carefully too. He brought it down to her pussy again, this time slipping into her. Zendaya almost screamed as she felt her pussy stretch around him. She'd never imagine he was this gifted and now she could understand why you'd been so loud. He moved painfully slow, his eyes on you the whole time. Zendaya had closed her eyes again; the feeling of Tom's dick sliding into her was too intense. Especially considering the previous events aka your tongue on her pussy. She was already wound tightly and she didn't know how long she'd last.
Tom started speeding his movements. He slid into her more easily and his thrusts became rougher. Eventually her legs were above his shoulders and he was hitting her sweet spot at a new angle. An angle that was causing her breasts to move quickly and her moans to grow louder. You kissed her through it all, letting her moans vibrate in your mouth. She held your hand now, another gripping the sheets.
She couldn't keep track of how long this had been going on for, but she was surprised she'd held on for so long. She was seeing stars and at any moment she would be ready to snap.
"I'm gonna cum," she moaned arching her back, you went up to kiss Tom for a brief moment wondering if he was going to cum too. He nodded his head and you came back to her.
"You can cum baby," you whispered and the sound of your voice alone was enough. She unraveled, body shaking profusely as Tom slowed his hips. He hadn't reached his climax yet. He wanted to unload in you and you knew that.
You climbed over Zendaya, your breasts pressed together, ass in the air for Tom. He removed the condom and slid into your pussy. He groaned as a hand came down on your ass and you backed into him feeling him fill you up.
"Oh fuck," you moaned and Zendaya grabbed your face locking lips. Tom fucked you quickly, ass bouncing every time your bodies made contact. Your body pressed against Zendaya as she wrapped her arms around your shoulders pulling you closer, kissing you sloppier. Your hand reached down between her legs, she was soaked and she shivered when you ran a finger between her folds.
It wasn't long before you were reaching your own high, Tom following close behind. His movements, again, growing slower. You felt his warm release; your body relaxed under his, falling on Z.
The sounds of your breathing filled the room as the three of you came down from your highs.
"That was..." Tom started.
"incredible," you finished.
"So worth it," Zendaya added.
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mcondance · 2 hours
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bubble pop electric 。𖦹° spencer reid
18+ backseat sex duhhhh, afab!reader but no terms like ‘girl,’ just female anatomy, spencer’s fingers make an appearance again wowww, reader is in his lap, 1 direct hozier quote sue me, i’m still working on my writing style which isn’t important i just wanted to note that. you can listen to bubble pop electric by gwen stefani if you wanna feel the vibes, a bit unfinished i guess but i didn’t know where else to take it
tonight i’m gonna give you all my love in the backseat
the shuffling of clothes is almost the loudest thing in the car, only beat out by you and spencer’s heavy breathing and pounding hearts.
your whines and moans slip straight into his mouth— the two of you seem to have forgotten what it even means to separate from the other. you give him perfect notes like he’s playing you from the inside out. your kisses are all sloppy, unfocused and focused at the same time, spit-swapping between the two of you, his groans vibrating in his chest and into your mouth.
he curls his fingers up to kiss that spot inside you so deliberately your mind blanks, and you’re conflicted on what to focus on. his lips, or his fingers, or his sounds, or all of it at once.
yeah, all of it at once sounds great.
“you’re so pretty,” he confesses after one kiss and before another. he pauses for a second, to look. you’re so beautiful above him. the white light of the street lamps shines in through the car windows and illuminates your skin. you glow obscenely beautifully, so beautiful his brown eyes get glossy in awe.
he kisses you again, and you kiss him back like you’re begging for it. you’re always begging for it, always wanting to be wrapped up in his lips and sliding your tongue against his all messy.
you think you know insanity, that you’re as fucked as you can be right now, but that’s until through one loud pass and another you pick up the sound of the slipping and sliding of his fingers. your cunt sings out into the car and he breaks the kiss to shoot his eyes down between your legs, watching wide-eyed the lewd display you two have created.
how lewd it is.
he breathes raggedly, all keyed up. he can feel his blood boiling hot with how turned on he is.
it doesn’t take long for him to slip his fingers out of you and for the both of you to fumble with your buttons and clothes and zippers.
spencer’s nothing if not disgusting— he can’t help but rub his cock through your wetness, pupils dilating even bigger as he watches you cover him in sticky slick. its heavenly and horribly filthy all at the same time, how he taps it against your clit, softly, huffing out a laugh when you jump a little above him. the whine that leaks out of your throat at met with a hum of his own, a little sound of admiration.
spencer laughs when he sinks in. your whine is so melodic he finally tears his eyes from your cunt to your face, and god, he’s so fucking glad he did. your eyebrows are turned down, nose scrunched and lips pressed together. your eyes, hazy as they lock with his.
looking up at you is how he wants to fuck you always (at least, until he fucks you another way, it always changes). his hands find your waist and they dig in a little, slowly guiding you on his cock.
fuck.
a groan from spencer’s slack lips is what breaks the hanging silence in the car. the hypnosis that grips you both is shattered and his honest sound makes the heart between your legs pound and jump and you bring hips down on him just a little harder.
“oh my god,” he moans into your chest, his cheek rubbing against your shirt. “shit.” he’s rarely ever reduced to expletives to express himself, but when his hands are digging into your waist and you’re grinding on his lap like sin, he can’t find anything else to say.
you run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck and pull him, desperately, closer. lines have faded and been crossed and fucking in the backseat of a car shouldn’t feel this soft, but it does. your soft whines and moans and his earnest groans smooth out the rough edges of the circumstance, and leave sweetness in their wake. but its still lewd. it’s still sensual. he’s still fucking up into you, the sound of you two rubbing against each other still swirls in the car, he’s still cursing against your chest.
exhilaration flows through you. you and spencer never take anything too serious, especially with each other, and to be pulled over in his backseat, fogging up the windows and probably making the car shake, is what you and spencer do. it’s on-brand; of course you’d get so turned on you’d have no choice but to take it to the backseat.
it’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened, though. and it’ll happen again.
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novaksupremacy · 3 days
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The Veiled Law of Affection- Chapter 1
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fic takes place during the events of 5.5 “Serendipity” just my idea of the episode could have properly showed the obvious initial tension between the characters.
angst, smut, pairing Casey Novak x Olivia Benson
(please be kind (but honest) I haven’t written fanfic in almost 15 years)
***(so what I’d really like to do is make this a continuing arc of my head cannons of how I think these characters dated throughout the series as well as how I think Calex would play out and a Cabenson reunion revolving around the episodes where Alex comes back in seasons 10/11 and “Sunk Cost Fallacy” as well as how I think Calex would’ve continued from that point, if that’s something people would be interested in. I also plan on doing quite a few Calex one shots on the side) ***
“The Veiled Law of Affection- Chapter 1”
by PKJ (@novaksupremacy)
word count: 4285
“What do you tell your boyfriend?” Casey scoffed from behind her desk, tossing a few case files onto its surface haphazardly.
Olivia dug her hands deeper into her pockets and dropped her eyes from the red head, she still wasn’t sure how to take her, so she wasn’t about to tell her something she hadn’t even told her squad, the people she trusted with her life.
“I don’t have one actually, once they find out what I do, the ones that don’t pull away immediately get too interested,” she shook her head and smiled incredulously, “and want to know all the sickening details.”
Casey tiled her head, resisting the urge to bite her lip.
“I guess it’s easier on the men’s side.” she shrugged, letting go of a deep stressful sigh. They’d only just met but there was just something about Detective Olivia Benson that set her apart from anyone she had ever met. She watched as the tall, brunette stepped closer, leaning her fingertips against the counselor’s desk, and bent towards the young ADA. “God Casey, quit looking at her hands, stop imagining her touching you with those delicate, strong fingers.” She snapped herself out of it and returned eye contact to Olivia.
“Well,” Olivia started softly, “Fin doesn’t talk about his personal life at work, Elliot doesn’t talk about his work at home, and Munch has just given up.”
She stepped back, pushing herself from the desk off her fingertips, and walked towards the door. Casey went back to shuffling through paperwork on her desk and Olivia lingered in the doorway looking back, finding herself distracted by the charming lawyer’s athletic build, muscles taut against the sleeves of her shirt. She put her hand on the door frame. “Goodnight, Counselor.”
The ginger looked up from her work and smiled, “Goodnight, Detective.”
Liv went back to her desk and straightened up, locking up her drawers and getting ready to go for the evening, “Night El, don’t stay here too late.”
Elliot waved without even bothering to look up from his burger.
Liv took the side entrance as she left the building. It wasn’t overly flooded with light but enough to see if someone was trying to sneak up on her. Casey was only a couple feet ahead of her, walking her bike towards the street. The young ADA turned her head to look back when she heard the door creak closed. She shot a flustered smile in Olivia’s direction. It was clear that behind that smile she was distraught over her recent conversation with Branch. She wasn’t cut out for SVU, her heart was going to be broken constantly and she wasn’t quite sure she could bear it. Her heartbeat picked up slightly, maybe there was a sparkle to cut through the darkness of working sex crimes, and maybe that sparkle was brilliant, brunette detective.
“Goodnight again, Detective.” She turned to face forward again so she couldn’t be seen blushing. She smirked and bit her lip as she began to start walking again.
Over the years Olivia had become an expert on reading people, their body language, their facial expressions, and she could see the pain behind Casey’s eyes, she’d seen it before, whenever there was a problem Alex couldn’t fix. She furrowed her brow; it had been a long day for both, and she couldn’t let Casey go home so disheartened.
She took a deep breath, “Hey! Counselor?”
The tall athletic woman was midway through fastening her helmet when she whipped around. “Be cool Novak, debonair not doofus.”  She smiled again, soft and hopeful.
“Yes Detective? What’s up?” internally she was an absolute wreck, but on the surface, she was charming, confident.
Liv shifted and dug her hands into her pockets again, a nervous habit when she didn’t know what to do with her arms. “Would you want to come get a drink with me? I’m not ready to go home yet and I figured you needed to blow off some steam as much as I do after this case. There's a bar a few blocks from here that’s pretty nice, even has a brand-new pool table.”
Casey, who had been keeping a very slow pace still moving forward towards the street stopped in her tracks, turned the bike around walking back in the brooding brunette’s direction. Without a word she locked her bike back up and removed her helmet and sauntered forward.
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” she rasped trying to keep eye contact until she couldn’t anymore, looking down and biting her lip and then running her tongue across it to soothe the irritation and her nerves. “Lead the way.”
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
                The bar wasn’t overly crowded, so it was easy to hear each other. They had been talking and laughing for about an hour, discussing mutual acquaintances, mishaps Elliot may or not have had on the softball field. They both had been laughing so heartily their cheeks were starting to hurt.
 Casey brought her glass to her lips and took a sip of the whiskey sour. As she brought the glass down onto the bar, she used it as an opportunity to lean closer to Olivia.
                “So, Detective,” she smirked and gave a nod of curiosity, “is this job really the only reason you don’t have a boyfriend?”
                Liv blushed and smiled nervously; her mouth agape but not able to make words come out. “This is really an inconvenient time to be having a stroke.” She laughed credulously, “Ahhh, not exactly.” She copied the redhead’s movement putting her glass down closer so that she could lean in. “I mean- I date men, just not exclusively and not usually. I just don’t really share that with anyone. Even the squad.”
                The two women were now leaning in, to the point where they were inches from each other’s faces. Casey quirked an eyebrow, the smell of Olivia’s perfume was intoxicating. She stood up from her barstool bringing her closer than she already was.
                She grinned, “Good to know. Pool?” She leaned across Liv to pick up her drink off the bar top using her free hand to hold Liv’s shoulder and steady herself.
                Liv caught herself holding her breath, she could feel the warmth of the liquor spreading through her body, but also the heat coming off Casey’s. She’d have to slow down on her cocktail, or her inhibitions might get low enough for her to try something. She couldn’t read the dazzling prosecutor and found that troubling. Was she flirting? Was she just trying to make friends and fit in with the SVU gang?     
                As Casey stepped back, she made sure to look at the compassionate cop directly in her deep brown eyes, hovering for only a second, her lips tingling as they ghosted past Olivia’s. “I’ll get some quarters,” she pursed her lips and tilted her head in the direction of the pool table.
                Casey racked up and grabbed two sticks off the wall, waiting for Liv to make her way over. She was still at the bar seemingly ordering fresh drinks. As Liv turned around and made her way across the room, Casey couldn’t help but bite down on her lower lip and pull it between her teeth, she felt her cheeks getting hot.
                “Jameson?” the older brunette smiled holding up two shot glasses of amber liquid.
                “Don’t mind if I do Detective,” the young redhead’s eyes sparkled with want, “and you…” She handed one of the pool sticks to what she was strongly hoping was her date for the evening, “are right on…cue.” Casey chuckled at her own goofy joke and then shot the Jameson without flinching. “Sorry for the dad joke,” she chuckled again, setting the shot glass down on the windowsill.
                Olivia walked around her to get ready to break, as she did, she stopped behind Casey’s ear, a grin spread across her face, “Whatever you say, Daddy.”
                It took every bit of strength Casey had not to let her knees crumple. Her body was on fire, and her arousal made her thankful not to be a man at that moment. The brunette’s breath on the nape of her neck made her entire body quiver. She managed to get out a small giggle as Liv made her way around her other side and lined up her shot.
                “So, the job,” Olivia started as she eyed the rack of billiard balls at the other end of the table, “it doesn’t get easier, and sometimes it gets worse, but I’d like to think...” She sighed and stood up and tried to readjust, “...for the most part we make a difference.”
                Casey caught herself mindless chewing her bottom lip again listening to the woman in front her, studying how she was soft and quietly intense at the same time. She quirked her brow again and chuckled to herself. “Don’t play pool often, Detective?”
                Liv dropped her shoulders in defeat and hung her head laughing, “That obvious, huh?”
                The ADA moved behind her, “Can I?” she queried, waiting for a nod before leaning herself up against the usually hardened police officer, who seemed to relax around her. She placed her arms over Olivia’s and her head atop her shoulder, “I’ve got you. It’s all in the wrist,” she ran her long slender fingers over Liv’s, “like this.” With that she pulled Liv’s arm back slowly and then pushed it forward, pushing herself tighter against the beautiful woman in front of her, the stick connecting with the cue ball and scattering the billiards on the table into various pockets.
                Liv felt her breath catch in her throat as Casey’s taut body pressed into her back, she inhaled, “bergamot and orange blossoms”, she was completely under her spell at this point. “Wow Counselor, your sway with a pool cue is almost as good as your skill swaying a jury.”
                The redhead chuckled into Liv’s shoulder, her lips close enough to the brunette’s neck that she could feel them even though they hadn’t connected yet, “Oh yeah, Detective? You should hear my closing argument.”
                Both women laughed, bodies leaning forward towards the pool table. Casey placed her hands against the table on both sides of Liv to steady herself. The brunette cop turned to face her, now pinned between the attorney and the table.
                Casey leaned closer, her hazel eyes glistening with lust, her smile melting Liv, tempting her to let her walls down. “Would you like to get out of here?”
                Both women raised an eyebrow, noses grazing as they both nodded, almost kissing but thinking better of the public show, and made their way for the door.
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
                The cab ride to Casey’s Upper West Side apartment seemed insufferably long, the two women sitting close enough to touch but refraining as if taunting each other, “touch me I dare you.”  The redhead reached into the inside pocket of her suit jacket and practically tossed the money at the cabbie, she wasn’t sure if it was a twenty or a hundred but either way it was more than enough. It was late, the door attendant was off duty, so Casey, ever the gentleman, opened the door and motioned Olivia inside, “After you, Detective.” At this point the way she said it, her voice raspy, sultry, only turned the officer on more.
                Once they got into the elevator Casey couldn’t wait anymore, she felt like if she didn’t touch Olivia soon, she might just die of anticipation. She pushed herself up against Liv, pinning her against the wall of the elevator, studying her lips for a minute, she knew they still had about ten floors to go. At first, she just brushed her lips against the olive-skinned beauty’s and then she kissed her, hard, and it was like the bomb that had been ticking all night had finally detonated. She bit Liv’s lower lip and then slid her tongue gently across it to soothe the bite and to wantonly ask for permission. Olivia sighed and opened her mouth slightly allowing Casey access which the redhead took full advantage of, massaging Liv’s tongue with her own. Olivia didn’t even bother to fight for dominance, just let go and let Casey explore, with her tongue and with her hands which were now roaming her body. One hand under Liv’s leather jacket kneading her breast the other wandering down her body, sliding her index and middle fingers through Liv’s belt loop pulling the cops hips closer to her own. She counted in her head, “Three, two, one.” On the count of one she let go and grabbed Liv’s hand as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, she pulled her down the hallway and fumbled with the keys.
                The minute they were behind a closed door again Casey threw her keys and pressed the brunette back up against the wall, biting her bottom lip hard, and pulled towards herself. Liv’s moans swallowed by the enthusiastic kisses the district attorney was placing on her with fervor.
“So, Detective…” Casey smirked beginning to kiss and bite down Olivia’s neck, Liv’s knees buckling against her. The redhead leaned harder against her and held her by the shoulders to steady her. She ran her tongue over the marks she was making as she slid the leather jacket off the other woman’s shoulders and letting it fall to the floor, “I know you’re used to being in control but so am I and, hm, I really, really, would like to tell you exactly,” She bit down hard into Liv’s shoulder and suckled for a moment, “what I want to do.”  
The brunette whimpered in pleasure at the bite, panting quietly in the dimly lit apartment foyer, completely succumbed. She nodded in response to Casey, she didn’t even want to fight it, she was tired of always having to be the one in charge, making decisions. She would gladly let the fine, young woman in front of her take the reins, at least for now.
“I need a verbal response, Detective.” Casey bit down again, this time a little higher up finding the brunette’s sweet spot.
“Yes,” Liv panted out, shaking her head vehemently, “god yes!”
“Good girl.” Casey smirked devilishly, as she unbuttoned and unzipped Liv’s jeans with her left hand, tracing small circles along her waistline enjoying the teasing torment she was inflicting as Liv’s skin jumped and twitched under her touch.
“Case...” Olivia whispered, she was so turned on by the ADA right now that she couldn’t even speak at a normal volume, “tell me what you want.”
“I want,” the redhead breathed in her ear, kissing and suckling on her neck every few words, “to take you into my bedroom, get you naked…” as she continued, she slid her knee in-between the brunette’s thighs and could feel the arousal from her heat against her leg even through her jeans. She let out a surprised sigh of delight as she felt it. Liv started slowly grinding against her as she continued talking, “and then I want to get you underneath me, taunt you,” she pulled off the stunning officer’s shirt and bit into her bare collarbone, as the detective let out a strangled cry of pleasure, “tease you, until you are so incredibly desperate that you beg me to fuck you.” She pulled one of Liv’s breasts to her face, pushing aside the lace of her bra to suck the nipple into her mouth. Between what Casey was saying and the sensation of her hot, wet tongue, pleasurably massaging her nipple, Olivia almost came from the sheer agony of needing Casey inside of her. The counselor continued, “and I will, I will fuck you until your eyes cross, and then when I think you can’t take anymore, I’ll give you permission to cum,” she kissed the brunette passionately before continuing, “preferably in my mouth.”
Olivia whose chest was already heaving, eager and hungry, letting out moan after moan (which Casey was relishing, trying to push aside her own wanton need to have the brunette inside her), panted heavily, “So then take me to bed.” As she said this, she took Casey into a deep, messy kiss, wrapping her legs around the athletic attorney’s waist and draped her arms around her neck.
Casey wasted no time carrying her new lover to the bedroom, only setting her down as they reached the edge of the bed. She stood there for a moment, trying to catch her breath, reveling in Olivia’s beauty, smooth tanned skin, muscular physique. She giggled slightly as she couldn’t believe they went from their awkward first meeting to this. The redhead tossed her blazer off into the corner and pulled her own shirt off. As she began to kiss Liv again, it became a race as they both hurriedly pulled each other’s clothes off until the two were stripped of everything but their panties. Casey grabbed Liv by her waist pulling her tight to her own hips, she wrapped her left arm around the brunette’s shoulder and let her right-hand slide into Liv’s already soaked black lace underwear. She let her index and middle finger slide through the folds, pulling wetness up from the bottom and rolling her fingers around Liv’s swollen clit. Her breath hitched as she slid her fingers back down, she stroked up and down slowly, the brunette trembling beneath her touch.
“All this for me?” Casey tilted her head, “I’ve barely even begun to touch you.” Her voice was sensual but also lighthearted, the ADA knew how not to take herself too seriously in any situation. She pulled her fingers back up and into her mouth where she sucked and licked them clean. She flopped herself down on the bed, laying on her side, propped up on her elbow. She patted the bed with her free hand and then lifted it out to Liv in invitation. As the brunette took her hand, Casey softly pulled her down on the bed next to her. She put up a good front, but the truth is the young ADA wasn’t as experienced as she was making herself out to be and didn’t want to do anything to hurt or scare away the hot, brilliant detective in her bed staring at her with lust in her eyes. She brushed the hair away from Liv’s face and cupped it in her hand, placing soft kisses on her lips, “I want you to tell me if there’s anything you don’t want, I want you safe and comfortable.” She blushed and looked down; her hand was shaking ever so slightly.   
“Counselor,” Olivia smiled softly, looking into deep hazel eyes that she hadn’t been able to get out of her head since they met, “is that nerves? I want you, all of you, whatever that may entail, and I’ll tell you if I’m not okay. Promise.” She giggled and bit her lip softly, “Come on, Daddy. Show me what you got.” She whispered in a jovial attempt to both be sensual and break the tension as she planted a deep soft kiss on Casey.
The minute she said this, it was like she had once again awoken something primal in Casey, who deepened the kiss, pushing Liv to the bed and straddling her. The brunette laughed and gave a small moan, “There we go.” She wanted the redhead six ways to Sunday and would take any way she was willing to give her.
Casey began marking little bites and kisses down Liv’s shoulder and in between her breasts, the detective surely would not be happy when she looked in a mirror tomorrow, as she trailed down the brunettes body she stopped once she got to her panties, nipping at hipbones and slowly pulling them down around Liv’s ankles using nothing more than her teeth, stopping every so often to leave a scattered trail of teeth grazes and small bites, tossing the panties to the floor and then moving her way back up. She began kissing the detective again with every ounce of want in her being, biting and pulling her lower lip, both women moaning into each other’s mouths, unable to help themselves.
“Case…” Liv whimpered against her, “I need…” she moaned again under the redhead’s touch.
“What? What do you need baby?”
“I need you to fuck me.”
Casey wasted no time and easily slid two fingers into the other woman’s heat to which a loud, languid moan was the response. She began pumping, slowly, teasingly, learning the geography. She slid her fingers along a ridge at the top and felt Liv’s body start to tighten around her, this was enough to cause her to start dripping arousal down her own legs as she continued to tease the brunette. She watched Liv’s face every time she stroked that particular spot, how she would whimper, moan Casey’s name, over and over, pleading, “mmm more, please more!”.
  The redhead picked up her pace, pumping faster and harder as the brunette ground down firm against Casey’s hand trying to match pace. She could feel Liv’s walls tightening around her, she knew it wouldn’t be long, and just when she knew Liv was about to come crashing over the edge, she held up for a second slowing down to a snail's pace. She ran the tip of her tongue up the length of Liv’s neck and then softly bit her ear, “tell me what you need,” she husked, her lips up against the brunette's striking jawline, nipping and kissing, “hmm, tell me what you need.”
“I need to cum,” Liv pleaded, whining and struggling to regain the friction lost from Casey pumping inside of her, “I need…to…” and before she could finish asking again Casey already had her face down in between her thighs and began fucking her hard, pumping faster and faster, fingers up against her ridge, now adding her to tongue to the brunette's clit. Long, hard swipes never picking up her tongue, so the pressure was constant. She felt Liv’s walls start to flutter, making her moan against her clit, the vibrations sending the detective into a spiral.
Liv grabbed for the headboard as she started screaming, “Oh god, Casey, ah yes! Fuck!” Her core grinding hard against the redhead's face, who quickly removed her fingers and pushed her tongue deep inside, wrapping her arms around both legs to make sure Liv wasn’t getting away as she tongue-fucked her through her orgasm.
“Mm mm” Casey looked up at Olivia, eyes glazed, full of arousal. She licked her fingers clean and then lapped up the mess she had made of the brunette until she had consumed every last drop. “You did so good for me and you taste so fucking good.” She planted a kiss on Liv’s clit making her shudder and then made her way back up until the two were laying face to face.
“That,” Olivia said trying to catch her breath, “was incredible Counselor.”
Casey chuckled, “Well, you’re very welcome, Detective.” She bit her own lip and ran her tongue over it.
“Case?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I touch you?”
Casey nodded longingly.
“I’m going to need a verbal response, Counselor.”
Casey grabbed Liv’s hand and slid it down into her boy shorts, “How’s that for a yes, Detective?” she moaned quietly, her hips bucking towards her lover’s hand.
Liv slid herself closer to the redhead and began to trace her fingers along her folds. Casey was already drenched, “Why ADA Novak, I do believe someone should do something about this mess you’re making,” She grazed her teeth against Casey’s neck as Casey bit her lip and nodded excitedly.
The brunette tauntingly slid one finger into her lover’s tight pussy, causing the redhead to whimper, “More.”
Never breaking eye contact, Liv slowly slid a second finger in, making sure the pads of her fingers touched the squishy ridge at the top. Casey’s jaw went slack with pleasure as she whimpered again, “More.”
  This spurred Liv on as she swiftly plunged a third finger in. Casey cried out in pleasure as she did this, bucking her hips against Liv, griding down on her hand and wrapping her arms under the brunettes and holding on to her shoulders. Liv wasted no time pumping deep and hard, keeping constant friction on the g-spot.
Casey rolled her hips keeping the furious rhythm, dragging her nails down Liv’s back. Strangled cries and moans escaping from the redhead’s mouth almost constantly until she started babbling, “Oh I’m already…I’m gonna…FUCK LIV…I’m…” Her body went rigid as the orgasm she experienced engulfed her whole body, screaming Liv’s name over and over again as she came down off her high and her body went limp. Her fluids soaked the bed and Liv’s hand. Liv moaned almost ready to cum again as she tasted the gorgeous litigator for the first time, licking her fingers clean.
Sweaty and spent Casey laid flat on her back and pulled Liv close against her chest. Olivia breathed in and out heavily, soothed by the sound of the redhead’s heartbeat. “That was,” she snuggled closer trying to find the words.
Casey kissed the top of her head, “mind blowing?”  
Liv nodded, tracing her fingertips across the redhead's smooth skin, flushed pink from the night's activities.
“Liv?”
“Yeah Case?”
“Please stay? I want to fall asleep with you in my arms”
Liv draped her arm over her lover, “I’d love nothing more.”
They dozed off just like that, tangled in each other, skin to skin, intimate, no alarm, no calls, just sleep.
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snekdood · 4 months
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i just kinda feel like if you asked ram he'd tell you he doesnt rly give a huge fuck about all this like yall do lmao
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toytulini · 11 months
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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demigod-of-the-agni · 2 months
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Spider-Man India, but... where from India?
A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.
I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.
If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.
So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.
The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:
THE RESULTS
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South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?
Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.
Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"
Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South
Context: I want to make art of the boy again
At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.
Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.
But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:
Where did Spider-Man India come from?
FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA
As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.
But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.
We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!
I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.
So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.
BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?
Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.
It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.
Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.
This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.
So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.
BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL
I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.
I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.
I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 
You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.
It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.
AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA
He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!
“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?
“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.
Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:
Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?
... but why shouldn't i?
I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.
It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.
SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK
“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”
Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?
Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.
But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.
There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).
And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.
Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.
What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.
Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:
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It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first three are written in Hindi. The fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Tamil there, much less any other South Indian language. Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?
Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!
I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.
It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.
It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!
Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!
And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 
So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.
We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.
THE POLL: REINTERPRETED
This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.
Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 
So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”
(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)
#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely#BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY#THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK#genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless#put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well#you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour#and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before#because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from#bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level#think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!!#pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide#he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up#it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose#if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people#because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful#that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!!#anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#desi#desiblr#atsv#across the spiderverse#atsv pavitr#indian culture#india#desi tumblr#what the fuck do i tag this as#agnirambles
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p1x1x · 3 days
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me pushing myself further with my art drawing really cool perspectives and whatever with the Duo and then i turn around and make lame cutesy ship art waaahhah 😭😭😭
dont read the tags on this if you havent watched gbc i just ramble spoilers 😭 just uhh screaming yknow. mostly mmnn but i like the other characters i swear its just these guys are making me insane
#UGGGGGGGHhhH the duo ever rn…#theyre jsut. so important to each other#supporting each other in their honest expression#FLIP OFF THE WORLD#and i mentioned once on twitter about how real mmk’s fear was#music is everything to her… so for those songs she wrote of her own expression to not be accepted or seen as successful..#yeah that Hurts#i totally get the feeling of wanting to quit… bc why would you want to be hurt that way…#OUUGGGH music (art in general) being able to leave a mark on people…! it can change people…! dont stop making art…!!!!!#but then there’s the side of me that sees all those moments and be like Hell yeah thats some romantic shit… wooo codependency yuri…#going into romantic ship mode#ouggggh but theres also the slightly messed up fact that mmk saw nn less as nn and more as her own past self#and how mmk was not really guiding nn the person so much as she was trying to fulfill her dream through nn#(ok my wording might get confusing but im RAMBLING OKAY)#GOD NN’S VA AND LINES WERE SOOOOO GOOD#mmk stuck in trying to amend her past…! but nn pulls her back to the present#back to reality and shows her that she can still fulfill that dream that desire…!#you saved me with that song its that important and i love it so i love you who laid bare your feelings#UGH THE TRUCK SCENE THAT THAT THAT UUUUGGGGHHFHH#she loves the real mmk…!#god what was i saying with codependency yuri earlier…?#oh right nn only being able to keep going now bc of mmk#hhhhhhhhh#and well. mmk having her happiness depend on keeping nn going (bc of yeah. seeing her past self in her…)#but the confession makes mmk realize what she was doing#(yet still good stuff for codependency yuri)#ok im shutting the fuck up now 😭
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simplydnp · 3 months
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pinof!!!
pinof: if you could ask any pinof question with a guaranteed answer, what would it be?
what is your credit card number
send a dnp ask!
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exlimix1a · 7 months
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Hey Hey hey hgey hey guys. have you heard that sheezy.art is coming back
#HONEST TO GOD I REALLY REAAALLAY WOULD BE STOKED TO BE ON SHEEZY WITH ALL OF YOU!!#idk how many people who follow me know what sheezy art is#but its a website that was an homage to the original sheezyart that i was never on bc it was before my time#but its an art sharing platform that ran from 2020 to 2022 (when it started popping off as a bunch of artists began to share it and also#when i joined the website)#but shortly after the devs decided to close it bc they were all college students and the website was exploding faster than they could keep#p#but after some time. they have graduated#and they missed sheezy so much#that theyre bringing it back and wanting to dedicate their careers to it#Sheezy was legitimately the first website i ever truly felt excited to post my work to#You would get people liking your work and you could see other people's work and it was so friendly and beautiful and customizable#like an art sharing website would be#and i was sooo heartbroken to have it shut down but ofc i was happy for the devs for setting that boundary and leaving when they had to!!#but im SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED FOR IT TO BE BACK#legitimately i promise you the community is better than any art site ive ever been on since then#the discord for it has opened again and in late November the website will open again#first in beta for the people who already had accounts when it closed but then itll open for new folks#oh im so fucking excited#and i want you guys to be excited too!!!!!#im so stoked#i love you guys ok#mwah ah
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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mmmgh
#salty talks#this one is personal but not in a scary just in a i need to say this shit somewhere way#botw/totk… i do not fucking like th. like gameplay is fun puzzles are cool world is cool but like.#the lackluster story and characters honest to god drag it the fuck down for me#none of the characters are actuslly interesting and ganondorf is the only one i want to see in totk#like i got the master sword. i got it and its like whatever. i know whats up with the light dragon and i dont care#totk is making me start to dislike this version of zelda and idk how to feel abt that#no one feels like. interesting. everyone is either good or evil or a fucking side character with a paper thin life#and totk with its fucking no-nuance go kill ganondorf plot is just. stop making half of the plot take place in the fucking past#i havent really done much story stuff but like. GOD. no one in totk is meant to be morally gray its all so fucking black and white#what happened to having major characters who were morally dubious and were actually fascinating to watch#i dont like that most of the major characters in totk/botw are Good Guys and Nice To Link nobody actually interests me#i was SO excited that the lurelin pirates would be a new group of characters to contend with but no. monsters. fuck#they had a chance to maybe get into the kingdoms more dubious past concerning the sheikah and then made the sheikah barely important#and then made the yiga more of a joke instead of like. doing anything with their interesting past#no fuck you heres some all new shit that has nothing to do with what came before and the same shallow conflict and characters#theyve dipped their toes into morally dubious characters and genuinely fascinating characters and the idea that the kingdom of hyrule isnt#all that and gave more room for drawing your own conclusions and totk just hands over the most black and white experience#im playing to finish the story and finish the game i actively do not care or expect much from these characters#and it just seems like the narrative is going to bend over backwards to put hyrule as the ultimate moral good and any opposition as bad#and all but force you to accept that because it just proves that sentiment correct over and over again and its fucking bland#idk. aomething about the writing of this game fucking frustrates me esp when i think abt how past games were written#imperialist shit aside this game’s story and characters are so fucking. par for the course bland. i dont care beyond ‘oh thata charming’#i dont think about this game’s story. it doesnt make me think it just shoves events and character actions at me and moves on#fuck.#it feels like its just. telling me shit. not giving me much room to really decide for myself. zelda is good ganondorf is bad fuck nuance ig#it seems so fucking scared of being a little bit complex. this is why i say 'i miss linebeck' i miss complicated ideas and characters#just. totk seems like it REALLY wants you to have specific thoughts about these events and characters. doing everything it can to prove#the good guys right and the bad guys wrong and having pretty much no one be in between or like. anything. its all standard
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bonestrouslingbones · 2 months
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btw big shoutout to that woodworking class i took in my final semester of high school for allowing me to 1. not constantly sound like i'm talking entirely out of my ass and 2. hide some very niche secrets because of the like 2 full months of paperwork & osha training before i got to actually build anything
#dont click see all on the tags i accidentally went insane over woodworking Its Not Worth it#god that class was such a mess. it took so long bc we couldn't all go to the shop unless everybody passed the safety test#and. well i'm pretty sure only i and like 3 other kids actually wanted to be there . im still a bit angry about it yeah#i wanted to build a table for my mom for mother's day and didn't finish it til JUNE and then it fell APAAARRTTTTTTTT!!!!! but its FINE#I WAS GRADUATING LIKE A WEEK AFTER BUILDING THAT TABLE BUT ITS ///FINEEEEEE////#THE actual knowledge that i still retained from it is really funny tho tbh#the only thing you can call a guard on a bandsaw is the lil 2" radius circle printed around where the blade goes through the table#if you put your fingers inside of that circle they will be Swiftly Removed#i am more comfortable with that fucking thing than a hand drill#however drill presses are fine. kinda fun actually#walnut smells really good when it's being ripped but the dust gets fucking everywhere somehow even more than white oak#that was my last class of the day that semester and i would constantly go home with my black clothes having turned brown#and i'll say. most fulfilling class i've ever taken to be completely honest#ik i am not attending a trade school but WHYYYYYY DOESNT MY UNIVERSITY OFFER WOODWORKING AAAAGGG#WHAT IF I DROP OUT TO BECOME ONE OF THOSE YOUTUBER GUYS THAT MAKES TABLES THAT ALL LOOK THE SAME HUH. WAHT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHAT IF I WANT TO MAKE 32 TABLETOPS OUT OF MINIMALLY TRIMMED SLABS AND EPOXY THAT ALL SOMEHOW LOOK BORING. WHAT IF I MAKE BANK ON THAT#ITS! BETTER!! THAN ALL THESE ESSAYS!!!!!!!!!#ahegm sorry folks. what i meant to say is that whenever ebony looks like he's creaming himself over furniture that's me talking through him#all that being said if i ever have to look at autocad ever again i will start huffing the polyurethane
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borderlinegerard · 2 months
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i hope i die, you broke my heart
#personal#my posts#so fucking tired oh my god#just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic#sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do#like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me#taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group#as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it#all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you#theres a reason im always the person you go to#byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you#like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ??#does it need to be completely equal to be fair#and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat#im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love#like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired#i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us#idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood#and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest#you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either#and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix#but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt#but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much#i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did???#and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me#a little more than they were supposed to#i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me#iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow#byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh
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i think what gets me most about aoki’s death is that it is the perfect allegory for how rgg treats its antagonists: even if the antagonist is willing to change or implies they’re ready to start over, even if the protagonist is ready to accept them and help them move forward, even if it’s the very last second before the start of their redemption can begin, rgg has to throw in the BIGGEST Fuck You and stop any kind of progress from happening and kill them off before they can either change for the better, or justly face the consequences of their actions and get their comeuppance
ironically it’s like a stab in the back- like even if you want to change for the better, you’re doomed to the path you set out on and there’s nothing you can do to stop that now no matter how earnest you are in wanting to change and no matter who’s there to guide you to a better future (or at least get you to jail)
#y7 spoilers#spoilers#snap chats#always have to slap this Big Ass Disclaimer but aoki was cringe. terrible even. awful.#but i just wish rgg would stop setting up perfect opportunities for these characters to grow#and they'd stop preaching about how you can restart no matter what and people will always be ready to support you to do so#only for them to rip it out of our hands: its such a hollow message when you don't actually commit to it#EVEN BEYOND THAT I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO GET IN TROUBLE FFS#CAN SOMEONE GO TO JAIL. AT LEAST SAWASHIRO GETS TO GO TO PRISON#IT'S THE WAY I CHEERED WHEN I HEARD HE WAS IN JAIL AND SAW HIM IN THERE LIKE YES !!!! FINALLY !!!#ACTUALLY ENDURING THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS THAT DOESN'T END IN YOUR DEATH /GOD/#sawashiro was no innocent man but it was clear he wanted to make amends for what he did to aoki as a baby#and im glad that when that plan started to go sideways bro allowed himself to be incarcerated#he didn't game end himself and he didn't run- it just sucks hoshino had to die as a result like OK Champ You Didn't Have To Do That#but still it was just refreshing to actually have a semi-major antagonist have to deal with his actions#still it was refreshing actually having a semi-major antagonist have to be responsible for what he did that didnt end in his death#or random disappearance. ugh now im just remembering hamazaki like hamazaki wasn't a major antagonist at all#but it was really nice seeing him turn around in y4- only for. only for him to die.#girls that's the closest we're going to get to a redeemed villain like Actually have you guys considered that.#i mean ig baba too if you wanna count that but he was a villain for a total of twenty minutes collectively tbh lets be honest#ugh but not even he gets a concrete ending- like i guess he goes back to jail right? i guess#im rambling point is Welcome Back To My Aoki's Death Rant For The Seventh Week In A Row#feeling saucy today im not hiding my rambling in the tags for once SORRY i just#i just realized why this death makes me the most pissed compared to everyone else#ugh should i do a follow up rant on the other deaths ? cast your votes now if you read this far 🥴
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shopzone462 · 6 months
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
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get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2023
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?
I think none of them had rights
#Thanks for the ask !#like you have to actively like girls to notice them theyre inconsequential#also who is this why are you sewing discorse in my inbox#i spelled discourse wrong. my mom ordered the dog trainers to train ollie right now because he is insane and hes eating soo many treats#not because hes a good boy but because they are tossing that shit at him#they were literally almost there with yasuko#i thought her story was so fucking interesting ...#like its really not a fault of the girls they are all pretty good characters in their own right#like we have a variety of them too. we had miss tatsu who was out there turning guys inside out but she randomly had to go get kidnapped in#order to complete kiryus training arc. like how funny would it be for the whole thing to be staged and miss tatsus like Lol good job kiryu#for passing my test. oh this guy ? yeah he did get the better of me but i kicked the shit out of him then roped him into my schemes. dont#you think practical application is more effective than training ? anyway theres nothing more i can teach you but you can come train whenevr#we didnt even get an in game appearance for yuko but apparently she was a massive troll but too cute to get into any real trouble#mirei was. . . i literally said ‘are you kidding me’ when they revealed what happened to her like seriously ? is this real ? they did#that ? like literally she should have been living it up in cahoots with katsuya and being so sexy and divorced forever. she should have#faked her death because every single parentsl figure haruka had leaves her. and god haruka like honest to god i love that she just ran off#like that i thought it was so kiryu of her to be an absent father. but also my friends have all brought up very good points which is that#haruka should NOT have gone back to morning glory like she should have stayed in ono michi with her loser girlfriend whos a boyfriend with#her new extended family and only go back every now and then to see her siblings honestly i hated that .... like girl spread your wings ..#choose where you want to roost stop going back !! just get out !!!!!! its literally okay to tell the rest of your family ‘i dont wanna wipe#your asses forever i love you guys but im out of here’. and god i .. as much as i loved y0 makoto should have left her shitassed husband#girl had a whole ass baby with him ... find someone better im sorry ..!!! like whatever i know that thst was the ‘best’ option for her and#she deserves financial stability and a rich doctor husband but she also deserves crazy sex with a girl with one eye#i think what yumi did was awesome but like. actually i have no complaints about yumi. wait no i do. kazama was a shitass for marrying her#off to that politician because he couldnt stand having a woman in his house. im now thinking of that unecessarily hot doctor from y0 wtf was#her deal. and god the unnecessarily hot cho-han lady from y5.. oh wait ako had rights. she fell in love with kiryu at first sight then got#over him which is literally the best thing a girl could do for herself. PLUS she throws molotovs and is generally awesome#i cant remember any other girl. oh yeah god reina. .. reina .... god milky though .... i think she was fantastic and i want her badly. and#yayoi fucking disappeared after a certain point in time and ran off to another city with her baby daddy and sugared him to open a bar#well its not canon but im certain thats what happened because she literally went radio silence like girl where are you ....
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