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sxgarworld · 1 year

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Painter’s Hand

Order Contains: In which Choso Kamo is one of your peers in your college art course. He comes over to study you painting, but it seems his infatuated with more than just your technique.

With a side of: Biting, whimpering, soft!dom needy Choso bc im a slut for whimpering men

Calorie Count: 1.8k words

As you were packing up your supplies, and taking your dried canvas and placing it in its separate bag, you hear thick soles of someone’s shoes walk up behind you. You turn, a little shocked, to see one of your classmates standing there eagerly.

It was your classmate, Choso. You knew him because during critique, he had nothing bad to say about your art. He didn’t say much though, he always looked tired and in his own world. It didn’t help that he always had big, clunky headphones on.

“Choso! Can I help you with something?” you said, scolding yourself silently for sounding so formal. You realized you were nervous, why did he make you nervous?

“Y/N, this might be a weird question but,” he paused, fiddling with his hair that was pulled into a ponytail, “I was wondering if, you know, one day you’d let me see you paint? Just us two? I love your art and I’d love to see your technique,” he asks. His compliments made you go red. Ever since you could remember, you could never take a compliment like a normal person. Quickly, you got giddy and smiled at him.

“Of course! Here, give me your phone number and I’ll text you my dorm number and when I’m free,” you smile, taking out your phone and allowing him to put in his contact. He gently takes the phone, and you can’t help but notice how his slender, long fingers are slightly spotted with blue and white paints. He hands your phone back to you.

“Well, I’ve got another class across campus in thirty minutes. But I’ll see you later?” He asks, hopeful. You nod. He walks out with his painting (which still looked wet) and his bag. His Doc Martens clunk against the ground as he leaves.

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It’s around 8pm, you’re sitting in your dorm room, swiping through textbook pages, careful to not get a paper-cut. You texted Choso a while back, and he said he was coming, but never specified when. After a while you got distracted, forgetting about having a guest, until you heard a knock at your door.

It made you drop your highlighter in shock. You quickly got up to look in the mirror to make sure you looked presentable. No crumbs on your shirt or clumpy mascara. After checking, you went to go see who was at the door. Staring through your peephole, you saw Choso, this time with his hair tied up into two buns on the sides of his head. How cute!

“Chosoooo,” you smiled, opening the door, “come in! I was about to finish that painting from class today.” He nodded, eyes taking in your dorm. You were artsy, and your dorm reflected that strongly. The interior design was so fun to look at.

“Did you decorate yourself?” he asked, running a hand along a velvet blanket thrown neatly on your couch. It was so soft, everything inside the dorm felt so comfortable. Like a home more than just a dorm.

“Oh! Yeah I did, took a little inspiration from people online, though.” You saw as he walked around, like he was lost in admiration. His normally tired eyes were still tired, but less dead. Like a fish!

“It’s beautiful,” he admired, looking directly at you. Again, your face went red from the praise. It was his voice, too, so deep and raspy, throwing around compliments like this. You couldn’t help but react this way.

“Thank you! Do you wanna.. um, come see me paint now? Or like we could do anything to be honest, I don’t mind,” you stammered. Of course he didn’t want to do anything else, why would he? He just came to see you paint, because he liked your technique.

“Oh painting, yeah we could. I’d love to see you in action,” he said, starting to get close to you. An electric shock was sent down your spine. His words were almost hypnotic. You made your way into your bedroom, pulling out your canvas and placing it on your easel, your pallet already full of paint from earlier. It was a little dried out, but it didn’t matter. It was good enough.

You dipped your brush in the red, and lightly swiped it across your canvas. For you, you watered down your paints a bit. It took away the vibrance but it added a very soft, subtle look. The way you blending was a bit odd too, blending with a brush then a bit more with your fingers.

As you painted, you could feel Choso’s breath down your neck. He was standing right behind you, so close. His hands rested on your easel, meaning you were trapped between him and the easel. It almost made you shake a little bit, which he thought was just another part of your technique.

“You’re real good at this, yknow?” he whispered, his words hitting your ear breathily. It made your entire body heat up. His deep voice right into your ear, praising you as you worked. It made you melt against him, back pressed to his chest.

“Don’t shake too much, sugar, I’d hate it if you ruined this pretty painting,” he said, grabbing your shaking hand as you dipped your brush back into your paint. What’d he just call you? Sugar? It was difficult to keep your composure now, with him sweet talking you.

“I’m not gonna ruin it,” you said quietly, almost to yourself. He let out a soft chuckle, his hands now resting on your waist. God you hoped he couldn’t feel how hot and nervous you were. You were glad he definitely couldn’t feel how wet you were.

“I bet you won’t sweetheart,” he said, taking his hand and grabbing your jaw. He softly forced you to look up at him. “You’re just so good at this, aren’t you?”

You couldn’t hold yourself together, it was starting to be too much. Did he come here to watch you work, or did he have ulterior motives? You could tell, his dead eyes were almost cloudy as he looked at you. Clouded with what? Lust? He didn’t break eye contact with you.

You turned, so your chest was facing his chest, and you grabbed the collar of his shirt. For a second you hesitated, wondering if you should question him or not. But something inside of you pressed yourself against him, pulling him closer and softly pressing your lips against his.

“God, I’ve wanted you for months. You’re so reserved, I needed a good reason to finally see you, to have you like this.” His eyes glossed over you, your hot body and your red face. He kissed you again, this time on your neck. You gripped onto his t-shirt, a bit rougher than you expected. He kept planting kisses on your neck and your collar bone, making you shake.

“Please, Choso,” you whined. He didn’t even need to ask you what you wanted. He lifted you up, his arms were so strong, and tossed you onto your bed. He pressed you down into the mattress, crawling on top of you and kissing you more.

“Please what baby?” he teased, knowing exactly what you wanted. You looked at him with pleading eyes as he kissed you over and over again, the kisses starting to become sloppier and wetter. He didn’t even bother to let you finish begging, he couldn’t help himself around you. Slowly he slipped off your jeans, and with it, your panties. For a minute he just sat and kissed you, letting you grind against his strong thighs.

But it was too much for him, he couldn’t just sit and tease you like this for long. He whined, tugging at shirt.

“Nu uh, that’s not fair,” you frowned “All your clothes are still on.” He looked at you with wide eyes, then taking all of his clothes off, kicking his pants off the side of your bed. You couldn’t help but look at him. Underneath his baggy clothes, you thought he’d be skinny and scrawny. He was… glorious. His body was chiseled and defined, which was odd for a fine arts major. You immediately sat on his lap, pulling off your shirt and bra.

He bit at your neck, sucking and leaving the tiniest purple marks up and down the side. He bit down a bit harder than before, leaving a full red circle with indents for each of his teeth in your neck. The sudden pain made you whimper, your nails digging into his back.

“Please, let me—“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence, he was too hot and bothered. His cock pressed against your folds, his angry pink tip leaking precum all over his own thighs. “I need it, I need you s’bad.”

You let out a soft laugh, nodding your head. He took that as a resounding yes. He couldn’t help but push his tip into you, no teasing from his fingers to loosen you up. He let out the most gutural, pathetic moan you’ve ever heard. As he thrust in sloppily, he let out whines and whimpers, as if it were too much for him to handle.

“It- agh-! You’re so tight, baby,” he whimpered, burying his head into the crook of your neck. He suddenly grabbed your hips, forcing you to bounce up and down on his cock. You slammed yourself down on it, feeling his tip brush against the entrance to your womb. The feeling made you throw your head back and moan. He let out more pathetic sounds of struggle and pleasure. You could feel him wetting your neck up with… tears?

“It’s too fuckin’ good!” he cried out, fucking you hard. Suddenly he threw you back onto the bed, your head hitting your pillow. He pinned your hands to the headboard. His eyebrows furrowed as he plowed into you desperately, his pace speeding up.

“Choso- haah—“ you panted out, tongue barely escaping your mouth, as his pace suddenly became sloppy. He gripped your hips tighter, pressing bruises into your skin.

“Fuck I’m gonna— I’m— I’m gonna cum!” he said, barely even finishing his sentence before you felt his seed splattering inside your walls, your own juices coating his dick as you finished. He spasmed, leaning his head into the crook of your neck as he let a few last spurts shoot out of his cock. “So- so good baby. You feel so good.” He whimpered out, gulping as he did.

You ran a hand through his hair, almost pulling out another whine from him at the affection caress.

“You’re so pretty baby, such a pretty girl,” he whispered, his hands loosening its grip on your hips, and instead letting his arms wrap around you softly. “Such a pretty girl, yeah? You’re beautiful,” he muttered, kissing along your forehead.

My pretty girl.

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likes and reblogs are appreciated! <3 Please dont repost

#☕️.choso #choso smut #jjk #jjk imagines #jjk smut #choso <3 #choso x you #choso imagine #choso kamo #choso headcanons #choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso x female reader #choso #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jujutsu #jujutsu choso #jujutsu kaisen

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ohmtoff · 2 months

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we need more nsfw nerdy nick headcanons🫢

AAAAAA actually so happy you asked for more bc im kinda in love with nerdy nick now lmao (nsfw)

part 1 here

nerdy nick who decided to adopt a dog with you, naming it denji if it’s a boy or makima if it’s a girl.

nerdy nick who’s a part of a dungeons and dragons party that is about to start on a campaign. you better believe he has a pink dice‼️‼️‼️ he already made a long detailed background of his character (a tiefling sorceress) and he already sent it to his dungeon master. for this campaign, though, you decided to try to join and learn the game.

“Okay, so what’s your character idea?”

“Uhhh what about a warlock with a huge ass?”

on session 0 you were lost and tired an hour into the game, while on session 7 you were already in your character cosplay with nick and lasting 6 hours.

nerdy nick who was soooo scared of meeting your friends bc he was worried of being too much and too random and just too nerdy for your friends. he’d act like how he normally would when he first meet new people, making mundane small talk about your relationship and about himself, but you can see that after an hour in that he was exhausted by how he went so quiet.

noticing this you interrupted the convo to talk about the upcoming HoTD season, and you can see his face lighting up. one of your friends who watches the show would chime in and nick would excitedly start talking about it too, yapping about the targaryen lore, surprising but charming everyone of this new confident side of his. your friends also think he’s adorableee when passionate. you would do anything to not make him insecure of his interests anymore.

nerdy nick who got so horny seeing you cosplay as his favorite character for halloween that he made you keep the costume on when having sex. you had him exposed on his back that night, legs spread and high against your shoulders. “Fu—uck, oh fuck me harder, please,” he pathetically whined, and you loudly moaned, pounding harder into his hole, punching out loud but tiny ‘uh-huh!’s out of him with each thrust as drool slides down his chin. He absolutely looked well-fucked. his warm walls clenched as he came and shouted “Choso!” while he spurted across his stomach. The squeeze was enough for you to groan inside him, pumping him full of your warm cum.

“Did you actually just call me choso when you came?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

nerdy nick whose insecurities run deep bc not only did he grow up heavier than his brothers, he was also more invisible. he did have friends, but his tendency to ramble and lack of fashion sense made him less popular and desired. you can see it in how he always uses a top; be it in the beach, or sleeping, and sometimes even during sex. so when he met you he didn’t know what to do with all your compliments. he would just blush so hard and he’ll pretend to get mad at you like “shut uuuup! stop lying” and you’d unrelentingly smother him with kisses while calling him your “pretty boy” “handsome man” and all other praises that he deserves.

you make sure to make him know that he’s beautiful by worshiping the fuck out of his body. you’d pepper kisses from his thigh up to his tummy where he’s still covered by his shirt. it was one of those times when he’d not want to take off his shirt during sex because he felt more insecure than usual. you’d whisper mantras of praises along with the wet kisses, making him giggle and shudder bc your breath along the inside of his thigh tickled. “so, so pretty. how could you ever find it in yourself to not love this?” you emphasized the word with a bite of his thigh a strand away from his cock. you’d dedicate that night to just pleasing him, letting him fuck hard into your mouth, his hips ragged and desperately thrusting into your throat while you try to not gag on his big cock, your spit falling out of your mouth making his groin wet. you hands crawl up, up, up, driving his shirt upward to flick his nipples. at one point it gets too hot for him so he takes his shirt off and you smirked—success. his body curls and his words came out as broken sobs, wanting more. you pulled your mouth away which made him grip your hair in protest. you looked at the way his body glistened, his face flushed, his legs tremble, and you felt hungry. “Beautiful,” you panted. “So fucking beautiful. Drive me crazy with how beautiful you are. Can’t fucking believe you’re mine. Say you’re mine,” as you furiously fisted his angry red cock with hands soiled with his precum and spit. “i’m yours, i’m yours, i’m yo—AHH!”

he never uses a shirt at the beach again.

a/n: woahhh wtf who wrote that

#this was longer than i expected #nick sturniolo #nick sturniolo imagine #nick sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo x male reader #headcanon #nick sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfiction

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thatoneapollokidevan · 11 months

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Slushies (Hobie brown x reader)

warnings! None just making out

No pronouns used

please mind English isn’t my first language and the making out will be pretty awkward since im not the biggest fan of the idea of it lol

• You and your boyfriend where heading home after one of his shows

• It wasn’t anything unusual considering you’ve been dating for months now

• It was getting dark which was a little unusual since it was summer

• You where just driving in his car barely awake but the he stopped

“hey luv’ wanna get somthin’ to eat” he said pointing to a gas station

“yeah” you said rubbing your eye trying to stay awake

• You both went inside of the gas station

• Tbh the constant sound of the air conditioning and the yellow tint was both annoying but really nostalgic

“I haven’t been in one of these since i was a kid” you said trying to break the silence

•You both went through and looked at food that had gone bad months ago hnit you come to the only thing without cobwebs on

•the slushie machines

“ey luv’ what do ya say?” He said pointing at the slushie machines

“yeah it’s probably the only thing that isn’t over 5 years old in here”

• You both walk towards it then pouring slushie in your cups

• You go over to the counter to pay only to be met by a sleeping middle aged man

• you slap a £2’er on the counter

“Are you sure that that was the actual price” you ask him

“eh cheaper is cheaper am i right?”

“That kinda illegal but okay”

• you sit down in his car and try not to thjnk about that

• After you’ve drunken almost half of your slushies you notice Hobie isn’t drinking just staring at you

“whats the matter got a staring problem?” You say jokingly

“Nothin’ you just look awfully lovely right now”

• He was always trying to tease you and make you flustered so it didn’t really affect you until you saw him unbuckle your seatbelts

“what are you-“ you tried to ask him but them immediately got put on his lap

“Oh gees you really want to do this now?” You say annoyed but still laughing at the end

“I dont see you complainin’”

• He grabbed your chin pressing his lips on to yours • You moved your hand up to his face and he moved his down to your waist

• The soft kiss slowly turned more heated and next thing you know you felt his tongue asking for permission

• You opened your mouth for him and the moment you did that he switched you around so he could use the seat as support

• He pressed you against the seat tongue exploring your mouth like there was no tomorrow

• You pulled away for air

• You look over at him smirking

“ya’know i would continue but i think we should drive away to somewhere more private” he said

• You would respond but you could barely form a sentence bc of how flustered you were even though it wasn’t anything unusual to make out with your boyfriend

“so watcha saying?”

#me? Actually writing something?#im kinda proud and i kinda don’t like it #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown #spiderverse x you #spiderverse x reader #hobie brown x y/n #Gn!reader #hobie x gn! Reader

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cat3ch1sm · 1 year

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Hello bb 😭💕 I've been such a huge fan of your work for ages now. I hope you are feeling better and taking care of yourself 🥺

If you are comfortable/want to, I was wondering if I could request some kind of nsfw perverted!hisoka x fem reader (the girl he's determined to make his) is now "coincidentally" stuck in a small space together 🤣 reader has avoided him bc she feels the same way but entirely embarrassed

If not pls ignore this request !

--kateaesthetic ✨️

🫖~ hello my love i missed u<33 im so so glad ur a fan, it means the actual world to me that i have supporters like you. here is your request, enjoy 💚💚

notice for my other followers- if you’ve sent me a request, im definitely working on it, i haven’t chosen to ignore any of your requests😭 it’s just i have a lot to work on outside and inside of this app, so it may take me some time. however, i really appreciate your patience, and i love you all endlessly and am so so grateful for your support.

*ೃ༄ nsfw ahead, perv hisoka😭, degradation, fem!reader˚◞♡ ⃗

“Alright, Y/N- thanks for staying so late,” your boss told you with a smile, which you returned politely. “Would you mind locking up the boutique for me? I’d do it myself it it wasn’t my little boy’s birthday, and I absolutely don’t want to miss it.”

“It’s no problem at all,” you assured her. “I hope your son has a wonderful birthday- but I’m sure it will be far more wonderful if you’re home on time! You’d better get going; I’ll be done in no time.”

“Thanks so much. The keys to lock up are on the counter beside the register. Have a great night, Y/N- see you tomorrow!” your boss called, and you waved as she went out the door.

You smiled to yourself. You were very fond of your boss; she’d never been unkind or unfair with you, so doing her this favor didn’t bother you in the slightest. Hanging up one of the dresses you’d been holding on the racks, you started to walk to the front of the dress shop to retrieve the keys.

Before you made it to the counter, though, you heard something that surprised you- the windchime dangling above the front doorframe suddenly made a gentle jingling sound- indicating that somebody had just walked in. You were perplexed upon hearing the noise- all of the lights were off in the building, so you couldn’t imagine why someone would enter. Then it occurred to you- perhaps your boss had just forgotten something. Yes, that’s what it had to be. Relaxing, you walked to the counter and picked up the keys before looking up.

“Oh, you’re back? Did you forget something?” you inquired, your gaze still focused on the keys beneath you, which were frustratingly getting tangled into one another. “I’d be happy to get it for you-“

When you finally looked up, though, you knew instantly that the dark figure who had just entered the shop wasn’t your boss. It was about a foot too tall, and even among the shadows you could tell the build was that of a man. Most notably, though, was the peak of hair that stretched above his head- seemingly defying gravity.

At first, you didn’t recognize the man, and found yourself even more confused. “Uh- sir?” you ventured, tilting your head and squinting your eyes at the figure. “We’re closed right now, but we reopen at 8 am tomorrow- perhaps you could return then?”

“Oh, but my dear- that’s far too late,” the man drawled, inching closer to the counter behind which you were standing, and with every step he took you could hear the clicking of heels on the marble floor. “Can’t you make an exception for me, sweetheart?”

You felt your heart skip a beat in your chest. Hisoka. He was the one who had been pursuing you for weeks, appearing around every corner you turned. And now, he’d managed to find you at your job.

Hisoka had made very clear his intentions with you a number of times- not quite bluntly, but in a manner that you couldn’t mistake. You, in return, had avoided him as much as you could- you simply couldn’t muster up the boldness and slyness that Hisoka possessed, and while you knew something deep inside you wanted Hisoka to want you, you were frankly just too embarrassed to admit it. Nobody had ever really wanted you the way Hisoka claimed to, and you didn’t know how to react.

“Hisoka.” It was all you could come up with. You absently picked up the keys, now disentangled, and habitually singled out the one that locked the closet in which the store kept the custom dress orders. “I… don’t think you should be here.” Quickly, you turned your back on him, already feeling heat rush to your face at his mere presence, and briskly walked over to the dress closet.

In the dark, you heard Hisoka chuckle lowly. “Ah, even in the dark, I can tell you’re blushing. You’re simply adorable.” His tone was amused, but you didn’t miss the familiar notes of ardor beneath his voice.

Throughly flustered, you thrust the key into the closet’s lock, turning it in the doorknob. You avoided turning to face Hisoka, and not knowing how else to escape, you rushed into the closet, brushing past the flouncing, poofy petticoats and the long, flowing skirts of the dresses inside. You retreated to the very back, up against the wall, stomach fluttering and hoping Hisoka didn’t see you.

“Hiding, are we?” Hisoka queried slyly, and you saw from behind a particularly fluffy dress his shadow come closer and closer to the closet door. “I just adore games like these.”

You startled as he entered the closet, his face now mostly visible in the dim light. Keeping your back pressed against the wall, you didn’t dare to even breathe, foolishly hoping that the magician would simply bore of your antics and be on his way. However, that wasn’t the case- and you were absolutely sure of this when Hisoka promptly shut the closet door behind him, locking the two of you inside.

Your eyes flew wide open with shock, a million thoughts racing through your head. Shit! I’m locked in. No- we’re locked in. Damn it- I’m locked in this closet with him. With Hisoka. Why didn’t I wait until after he was gone to lock the stupid door?

In your internal frenzy, you made a noise in the corner- instantly drawing the sharp stare of Hisoka. In no time, you felt his piercing yellow eyes burning into your face, and you knew you’d been spotted.

Your eyes rose higher and higher as Hisoka came closer. You didn’t want to look away from his face in case you missed something, but Hisoka only gave you that smirk that somehow made your knees weak whenever he did. Before you knew it, you were looking straight up into his gaze.

“Why do you even bother running from me, sweetheart?” Hisoka took your chin in his grasp, his clawlike nails barely scratching your skin, and lifted your head up to meet his eyes directly. “While I enjoy a good game of chase, you certainly didn’t think you were about to win, did you?”

For a few seconds, you were frozen, heart beating a million beats a minute and your lips sealed shut. Finally, though, you managed to speak. “Hisoka- what do you want?”

“Don’t play stupid.” Hisoka’s smile grew wider. “I believe you already know the answer to that, Y/N.”

Before you had a chance to react, Hisoka’s hand wrapped itself around your upper neck and pulled you into a gentle kiss. Instinctively, your eyes fluttered shut and you felt a blush spread across your face again, caught off guard by how soft it was. However, the surprisingly tender moment was disrupted when you felt a second hand slither around your waist, down your back, and eventually settle on your ass, giving it a playful squeeze.

You squeaked in surprise and pulled away from Hisoka, whose expression told you that he knew exactly what he was doing. “Hisoka!”

“My apologies, darling, I just couldn’t help myself.” An unapologetic grin spread across his face. “But I must add- you don’t seem to mind, my dear.”

Your body had betrayed you yet again- here you were, face hot and blushing like a fool. Embarrassed, you dropped your eyes down to the ground.

Above you, you heard Hisoka let out an amused chuckle. “Don’t be so shy, sweetheart- you’re just adorable when you look like this. It only makes me want to have you even more.”

Before you could respond, your lips were pressed into Hisoka’s again, one of his slender hands around your neck while the other took hold of the hem of your shirt and effortlessly tore it from your body; you felt as if the sound of the fabric ripping could be heard for miles. You allowed yourself to kiss Hisoka back for a few more seconds before pulling away.

“Take off your shirt.”

Hisoka’s thin eyebrows raised in surprise before his expression morphed into one of twisted delight. “So demanding…” he mused, golden eyes burning into yours before he complied with your demand, sliding his shirt over his head and tossing it carelessly to the floor.

For a moment you were in a daze, captivated by Hisoka’s glistening pale skin and his beyond impressive figure, a rippling 8-pack flowing down his abdomen and toned pecs and biceps protruding. It was only after Hisoka’s hands wrapped around your exposed waist and gently lowered your body and his to the ground that you snapped back into reality, the sensation of his lips on your neck and his hands slithering up your thighs suddenly overpowering.

“I’ve always imagined that I’d get you in this position one day, Y/N… but you’re even more inviting than I’d anticipated,” Hisoka hissed, running his tongue from your collarbone to the bottom tip of your ear. The soft warmth and wetness drew a gasp from you, and you felt Hisoka’s lips curl into a smile against your skin.

“Such a pretty sound, darling… be a good girl and make much more of those cute little moans for me, alright?”

You barely heard yourself murmur, “Alright,” before Hisoka nudged your bra straps off of your shoulders and began kissing down your chest. You allowed yourself to throw your head back, lewd gasps escaping your lips as Hisoka’s tongue teased your breasts, flicking each of your erect nipples and circling around the skin softly. Then, moving his head down your abdomen, he took hold of one of your breasts in his head, gripping it tightly as he licked a hot, wet trail from just above your bellybutton to in between your breasts, deriving an unhealthy amount of pleasure from the equally surprised yet passionate moan you emitted. One of your hands came down to tangle itself in Hisoka’s multicolored hair, silently urging him to keep going.

Hisoka obliged, and you felt some control slip away from him, his touch growing rougher and more ravenous as his fingers came down to your legs, dancing up your thigh and slipping beneath your skirt but stopping just before brushing your dripping opening.

“It’s a good thing you wore this cute little skirt for me today, huh, sweetheart? I can already sense how wet you are for me.”

Having his hands so close to where you needed them most but not quite there yet was torture, and you knew Hisoka could tell by the ragged way you were breathing. “Hisoka- please stop teasing me…”

Hisoka made a mock pout at your pitiful demeanor. “Aw, so needy already? You’re dirtier than I thought, my dear.” He flipped up the hem of your skirt, revealing your darkened panties and making you shudder. “But don’t be embarrassed- it’s cute.”

Hisoka finally inched his fingers up higher, running the tip of his sharp nail down your covered slit and making you groan, arching up into his touch. He allowed himself another satisfied chuckle before tugging your panties aside and rubbing the pad of his thumb along your wet entrance, moistening his finger before he began rubbing your clit in circular motions- slowly at first, but gradually picking up speed.

“Ah- mm, Hisoka,” you moaned, thrusting your lower half into his fingers. Hisoka simply pushed his middle finger into your entrance, drawing a long, pathetic whine from you as the sensation of his finger inside of you took over your body.

“Oh, Y/N- I’ve only just started using my fingers and you’re already shaking,” Hisoka remarked coyly, slowly moving his finger back and forth inside of you, silencing you whenever you tried to say something with a broken cry. “How long has it been since your needs were satisfied, dear?” he mused to himself, pretending to be deep in thought. “Seemingly far too long, yes? Especially for you to be behaving the way you are, already such a filthy whore beneath my fingers.”

Your face flushed for what had to be the thousandth time tonight. “I’m not a who- ah! Fuck- fuck, Hisoka-“

“You’re not doing a good job of proving it, sweetheart,” Hisoka teased, two fingers now pumping inside of your hole while his thumb continued to trace your swollen, sensitive clit.

“Shut up,” you managed breathlessly, the pleasure building up both within your clit and your vagina and rendering you unable to speak properly.

Hisoka laughed and took his thumb from your clit, eliciting a displeasured cry from you, but it was quickly replaced with his tongue, flicking back and forth in rapid movements along your clit. The noise that it drew from you could only be described as a scream, and Hisoka kept it up for a little while longer, relishing in your shrieks before promptly sitting up, removing his fingers and mouth from your sex.

You were dismayed, about to ask why Hisoka had pulled away, when you lifted your head and noticed the straining tent in his pants as well as the almost frightening lust in his eyes, running up and down your body hungrily. Wordlessly, he stood up, slipped out of his pants and boxers, and bent back down to your quivering form on the floor.

Hisoka was quite an impressive size- you almost felt obliged to look away, but Hisoka’s hand came up to cup your jawline and forced your face towards him before releasing you, your eyes wide.

“Don’t get nervous now, dear. I want you to see exactly what I’m going to do with you.”

You could only watch, aching and sensitive and anticipating as Hisoka positioned himself at your dripping hole, the tip of his dick at your entrance making you quiver before he pushed himself inside of you, every inch he forced inside of your body eliciting a broken whimper from you. Hisoka’s face tightened ever so slightly as he entered you, but once he was settled and began rocking his hips against you, an borderline sinister smile graced his lips.

“How I’ve fantasized of this moment, my dear,” Hisoka purred, eyes fixated on your face as your eyes rolled back into your head with every movement he made, lips parted in silent ecstasy. His next words, though, were lost on you.

“Such a pretty, useless thing. Surely you didn’t believe I truly desired you, sweetheart. But even so- you’re mine.”

#hisoka x reader smut #hxh headcanons #hisoka hxh #hisoka smut #hisoka hc #reader x hisoka #hisoka x reader #illumi x hisoka #hisoka x illumi #hisoka x you #hisoka headcanons #you x hisoka #hisoka morow x you #reader x hisoka smut #hxh memes #hunter x hunter #hisoka morow #hxh smut #hxh imagines

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thisisnotkitty · 6 months

Note

omg what would ness and mike’s first date be?!

im SO GLAD you asked

-i think that mike would want to take ness to a fancy restaurant but a) ness already works at a diner so mike’s worried that he wouldn’t want to eat out and b) do u really think mike can afford that lmao

-mike is probably freaking out about this w vanessa meanwhile vanessa’s like “im sure he’d love to go anywhere with you” and mikes like “okay but that’s not helpful WHERE should we go”

-the thing is mike wants to make sure that its a very special date. they’ve technically gone out before but usually with abby third wheeling. ness doesn’t mind and mike adores his little sister but he also kinda wants some alone time with his boyfriend okay?

-he does some research and there’s a historical museum a little ways out so on a day where vanessa can take care of abby and ness has a day off he takes them there

-ness doesn’t know where they’re going. mike insisted on planning the date by himself and just told ness it’d be a surprise

-lo and behold DINOSAUR MUSEUM

-(i tried to do research and if we’re taking the movie to be set in montana this museum is there and apparently has “one of the largest collections of dinosaur archeological remains” woahhh)

-ness is absolutely SPEECHLESS so mike thinks he doesn’t like it at first so he’s scrambling to make it better lmao

-hes all “it was a stupid idea, sorry. if u want we can just explore what they have around here im sure there’s like a coffee shop or something” and ness is like “mike for the love of god please shut up I LOVE IT”

-they go in and have a BLAST

-ness bc he definitely went through a dinosaur phase. he’s pointing at different models and telling mike all about them and what time period they were from etc etc

-mike is having a great time just listening to ness. does he know whats going on? no. could he tell u the difference between a velociraptor and an oviraptor? absolutely not. but he loves hearing ness talk so he’s more than happy to smile and listen.

-when they reach the giftshop he has to physically hold ness back from buying like 20 plushes thought lmao

-when ness is turned away sulking mike buys him one. he doesn’t know anything about dinosaurs and couldn’t tell you the names of any of them but he noticed ness getting particularly excited at this one exhibit so he took note of the frills around the dinosaurs neck and picks that one out of the plushes (its a dilophosaurus bc i personally think they’re cool)

-he also buys a coloring book for abby

-ness LOVES IT and then he shows mike that he also secretly bought something from the gift shop !

-its a keychain bc he knows mike’s kinda a sentamentalist and like to keep small memorabilia of things so he figured he’d want something to remember the date by and ness is like “do you like it?” eyes shining with anticipation

-mike, trying desperately not to cry: yeah

-suddenly ness is like OH! and scares mike out of his socks

-ness pulls out a puzzle from his bag and is like “this is for abby!” and mikes like “how am i so lucky” rahhh

-ness takes great care of his new plush and always gently places him in the middle of the bed once he makes it. (the first time mike comes over and sees it he tears up and ness teases him about it)

-mike also carries the keychain everywhere he goes (once he thought he lost it and made a mess turning the house upside down to try to find them. turns out abby had just borrowed the keys to open up something (she couldnt find the scissors) and forgot to put them back lmao)

sooo much brainrot i love them sm please keep sending prompts to feed the brainworms

#might turn this into a fic #but i wanted to answer this prompt #i literally cant stop thinking about them its so bad #the brainrot is real #fnaf #fnaf movie #securitywaiter #ness the waiter #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #vanessa shelly #vanessa afton #dreamtheory #fnaf ness

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eeteernity · 1 year

Text

Gekko x reader

im witting this bc when i was on the gekko x reader tag i was in the top blogs and i felt like an imposter so now i have to write one

cw: fluff

you want an indie boyfriend who skates and introduces you to music, clothes and overall just loves you? Gekko is right there in the corner staring at you in adoration

You were quite new in the protocol, you joined right after neon, so only 2 more people joined after you. You pretty much got along with everyone there, even being tolerated by viper and reyna. (you think reyna only didnt hate your guts because you were a radiant)

though you did like to hang out with neon, raze, jett and phoenix a lot. Those 4 you seemed to mesh really well with, very loud and outgoing people. Which is why it was such a shock when another agent joined.

“Everyone this is gekko, The new guy who will be joining you guys on missions, make sure to treat him well.”

Brim said sternly, while gekko just gave a bit of a goofy wave. It was love at first site.

“he’s so fine omg.”

“i know…”

you and neon whispered to each other. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, he was just so different to most the people here, he looked more relaxed and chill. Sage then took him off to show his room.

“yo (y/n) you should get to know him, he looks so cool.”

neon said with a sly smile.

“honestly I will.”

reyna looked over to you and neon and just rolled her eyes muttering ‘kids’ under her breath before walking away.

you decided to leave him alone for a bit just for him to get settled in. Sitting in the common room you switch through channels trying to find something interesting to watch. However you didn’t have to wait for long to talk to the new guy.

“hey you’re (agent name) right? sage told me your name by the way. im not a stalker or anything!”

he said putting his hands up defensively with a small smile.

“oh hey! yeah I’m (agent name) but you can call me (y/n), I don’t keep my name a secret here. It’s nice to meet you! are you liking it here?”

“yeah it’s super chill, i’m loving the vibe here. my name is mateo by the way”

he says as he sits near you on the couch.

“anything i can help you with? or did you just want to talk to me?”

you say in a teasing tone, causing his cheeks to go slightly pink.

“oh yeah i was actually wondering if you knew any places to eat around here? specifically chinese im really in the mood for that right now! But i also wanted to talk to you!”

he again said defensively.

“oh yeah i know a shit ton. you want me to go with you or just give you directions?”

“oh sí that would be great if you came along, you could help me order!”

“okay let me just go put on some shoes”

you and gekko went off to a near by street that had many food places, on the way you engaged with the usual first meeting talk like ‘how old are you?’ ‘favourite colour?’’where you from’ just the normal stuff. You got to the food place and decided to eat it there instead of takeaway. it was a small place, a family owned business. it was quaint

“so (y/n) what do you plan to get?”

“hmmm i’ll go with this one”

you point to your usual oder on the menu.

“i’ll get that too!”

you and gekko order and just keep talking. its nice, he’s really nice, and chill, and good looking and you’re staring at him again.

“so you wanna tell me about the people we work with? por favour.”

“oh yeah okay so, everyone’s really nice. Maybe not viper and reyna but they’re nice deep down… i think.

“ohhh reyna is actually the one who trains me!”

“really?! that’s cool as. Omen was the one who trained me when i first arrived. but anyway, keep your eardrums safe around raze she can be a bit loud.”

“veo, veo.”

you two keep discussing everyone until your food arrives.

“woah this looks good as, great pick (y/n)!”

“yeah, also i’ll pay for you if you want. I got spare cash”

“really! thats so nice!! gracias!”

eventually you get back, completely stuffed from the food.

“yo (y/n)! Gekko! you’re back. You guys want to watch a movie with me, raze, killjoy, sage, jett and omen?”

neon asked as soon as you walked through the door.

“yeah im down, what about you (y/n)?”

“yeah same! what movie are we watching?”

“a horror! its going to be so fun, just come to the common room when you’re ready.”

neon says before sprinting away. You look over to gekko and see him slightly frozen.

“you scared of horror movies or something?”

gekko nods his head slightly.

“don’t worry you can grab onto my arm if you get scared!”

gekko blushed a little at this.

“haha thank you (y/n)…”

the two of you walk to the common area and the movie starts. Everyone is sat in twos, Killjoy and raze, omen and sage, jett and neon.

the movie starts out well not too many scares but then the first jump scare happens. Making neon and Gekko jump

“oh shit!”

he says as he grabs onto your arm.

“sorry, didn’t mean to grab onto you.”

“its alright mateo-“

“shhhh!”

jett shushes the both of you.

the movie continues. With gekko basically clinging onto you for dear life. so like a good person you rub his back for him to clam down. he shivers at your touch. The movie ends, and killjoy and raze are giggling to themselves about how bad it was. omen and sage thank everyone for watching the movie as they walk to go do their own thing. while jett is comforting neon.

“neon it wasn’t that bad!”

“yes it was jett! what if that weird thing is going to come for me!!”

“come on lets go get you some water…”

which leaves you and gekko alone.

“you feeling alright?”

you ask him concerned.

“yep… yep. i’m alright. Man how do you not get scared?!”

you just shrug your shoulders.

“anyway i’m going to get ready for bed. If you get scared i don’t mind you waking me up or anything. I’m here for you.”

“okay, thanks for spending the day with me (y/n) it was really nice to get to know you!”

you leave.

He’s so cool..

i really like her..

OKAY THATS THE ENDING I MIGHT CONTINUE IT WHO KNOWS BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET THIS OUT. SORRY IF IT’S BAD I DIDN’T REALLY KNOW WHERE IT WAS GOING

#gekko #gekko x reader #valorant #valorant x y/n #valorant x reader #gekko x y/n #x reader #fluff #mateo #mateo x reader

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schro4444 · 7 months

Note

About the Kaito keeping his secret ID through Refuge In Audacity do you think Conan stuck with his first guess that KID was younger than 20 or later dismissed it as KID wearing a mask? (Ik this isn't relevant to the kuroba sitcom but I had Ditto in the brain haha)

I personally hc that he logicked it away as "he can't be THAT young, learning all those skills he has would take time" and then Kaito TOLD HIM his mom was Phantom Lady who did crazy gymnastics so she couldn't have been very old and dissappeared a scant 20 years ago and Conan went "welp"

Ik that Hakuba figured KID's age through DNA and then compared to highschool databases across the country, but first that's not how DNA tests work, the length that tells how old someone is changes from person to person, and second, I'm not familiar w Japanese laws regarding privacy and DNA databases but I'm fairly sure that what Hakuba did was like. Super illegal. Probably why Hakuba hauled ass back to London after that case actually, I bet he only got away with it bc nepotism (IT'S SURE ILLEGAL IN THE UK)

I still rlly want to know if Hakuba sat KID down w an optometrist board and an IQ test though, HOW did he get that data. Like I bet Toichi and Chikage never even got Kaito tested bc they thought it funnier to keep people guessing just HOW smart he was, plus Kaito wanted to share class with Aoko and Nakamori wanted her to be in a class where she could make friends her age, and that was the end of the topic

(oh man this ended up long, MY BAD)

first of all, omg im honored, tysm for reading ditto :D <3

GREAT QUESTION I think conan kept it in mind, but became less sure of himself over time. conan/shinichi has a pretty skewed idea of what kids are capable of doing, and I think he knows this about himself, so it’s reasonable for him to think “...nah, it would be insane if a high schooler was doing all this… right?” and if he was basing his original age guess off of what he could see of kid’s face and body shape, well, he learned very quickly that kid can change any of those traits at any time. who’s to say that kid wasn’t wearing makeup/a mask/anything else that might change his silhouette? …left to his own devices for long enough, conan can become a victim of his own overthinking, lol.

aaaand then kaito dropped the Phantom Lady tidbit. that, if anything, seemed to me like a peace offering of some kind? possibly meant to even the playing field between them? as always, it’s hard to tell what shinichi and kaito actually Know in canon, though I’m of course personally a fan of them knowing the least amount of information possible while still being as intelligent as we know they are. because shenanigans >:D

if we want to have fun with it ;) , I think the phantom lady reveal only narrows down kid’s age to,,,,, younger than 30? ish? it mostly gives conan an upper limit, since he doesn’t know whether kid was born before or after her retirement, and she easily could’ve retired in her early 30s. what it Does confirm is that this kid isn’t the original one, but that only narrows his identity down to “probably a protege of kid #1.” from there, the biggest bit of provable evidence against kaito is that his father died right when the original kid disappeared, but that’s still a pretty big logic leap to make when you aren’t around kaito all the time (like hakuba is). and toichi had students, too! who knows who else he taught besides yukiko and sharon? who is more likely to be kaitou kid: an undercover protege of toichi’s, or his teenage son who has an alibi for multiple heists?

best I can tell from some brief research, in Japan, DNA collection isn’t regulated for law enforcement, but hakuba isn’t law enforcement, he’s a consultant at best. I think other DNA tests for ppl age 16+ require consent of the person, and 16 or younger require the consent of a parent. hakuba has NEITHER. hakuba was saved from being a juvenile criminal by nepotism and the fact that nakamori laughed in his face instead of charging him with obstruction of justice or something. and yeah, that’s Absolutely Not How DNA Tests Work adjfksjdj

FR THO!! now I’m imagining hakuba chasing kid through a museum yelling “WHAT NUMBER LOGICALLY FOLLOWS THE SERIES ACCORDING TO THE GIVEN PATTERN” while kid answers with, like, extremely confused perfect accuracy. “400 iq” honestly sounds more like something hakuba made up to explain the fact that kid could answer the iq test questions while rappelling down a skyscraper lol. and I totally agree, kaito’s probably never been officially tested—it’s important for kids to be with their peers, especially when you’re already likely to have child prodigy syndrome. also because kaito and aoko get along so well, they would run the risk of never making other friends (cough shinichi cough). plus, the kurobas probably like to avoid official records as much as possible, and scoring even in the 160+ range would gather attention that their family of internationally-wanted criminals does Not need

#without Specific Situations happening to them kaito and shinichi have very little context for each other’s lives #hakuba is a hilarious character. kaito takes refuge in audacity but audacity really is hakuba’s downfall #ditto posting #kuroba family sitcom #dcmk #dc #mk #schrasks #magic kaito

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jadetheblueartist · 15 days

Note

IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR TEGAN ASK

I feel so bad :( you said it took you three hours and also I had written a huge response and now it’s gone ;-;

Okay so I’m going to rewrite my response but I’m really sorry if I get things wrong since now I can’t review what you sent ;-;

————

I LOVE THE IDEA SO MUCH!!!! And I would love to hear more about their training and life on the ship!

I may be obsessing over Talon and Megan a tad bit…

I love all the possibilities of how they passed the time in the car so much. It would be so awkward at the start and I’m all here for it!! I imagine Talon carried most of the conversation from the beginning until after they really got to know each other. I feel like at the start Talon would just awkwardly try to tell her what has happened to the earth while she was gone in hopes of starting some conversation. I’m imagining the parking lot picnic with them just drinking slushees and eating whatever gas station food seemed good (I’m assuming everything is kind of run down?)

Car karaoke. Oh it would be amazing. Talon trying to find songs Megan likes and trying to get her to sing along, windows rolled down, it’d be such a vibe.

With the race scene I can’t stop picturing the scene from princess bride where they both are rolling down the hill XD

Their relationship is so great, two strangers bonding in a long car ride… oh wait they already knew each other? They were already in love from book one? But Megan’s memory was wiped- WAIT NO THEY WERE IN LOVE AND HER MEMORY WAS WIPED!?!? Okay, okay, it’s fine at least they became close again, just a fresh start nothing to worry about… HER MEMORY WAS WIPED A SECOND TIME!?!? TALON THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (this is so tragic but I love it so much)

Talon nooooo why the tragic backstory ;-; (I love it very much)

Oh and the art? I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I love Talon’s design!!!!!! The drawing of him saying happy birthday to himself makes me so sad ;-;

Also question time!

Do you have designs for the sci fi ppl? Are they like aliens or just advanced humans chilling in space? Does Talon hide his tattoo? (I love that type of angst so much mhm hidden scars [in this case a tattoo tho]) and you said there was an image limit… could I see those drawing you couldn’t show? Also why is it called Tegan (is it bc Talon + Megan = Tegan…)? That should be all of my questions…

Anyway I absolutely love this story and please feel free to tell me more whenever! (I’d love to hear a lil more about Ivan too)

Again really sorry abt deleting the ask ;-; I hope you have an amazing day though!!

(I feel like I’m forgetting things I wanted to mention but idk)

Oh my I wrote out this whole thing and it deleted it for me hahaha let’s try this again

No worries about deleting the ask it happens hahaha and it doesn’t look like you got anything wrong so yay!

I’m gonna answer this paragraph by paragraph

-IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT and I’m pretty sure I have either the original google doc or a “Megan’s POV” doc that I can look into to give you those details :)

-I’m so glad you’re obsessing so we can be in the same boat

-I’ve been mulling over that car scene for years and somehow you managed to squeeze out even more serotonin for me to devour I thank thee. And I think it’s run down ish, like people are still there but WW3 is kind of happening/ just happened soooo you know

-it would be the vibiest ^^

-I’m so glad you said that bc I couldn’t connect the dots as to what that scene reminded me of but yeah that’s amazing

-IKR the mind wiping rocked my world. My friend was at the point where she was writing the post separation explosion and we were on face time and she casually mentioned “oh you know the cars weren’t the first time they met, right?” I went feral trying to get all the info out of her hahaha

-yes his backstory makes me so sad…

-I’m glad you like the design! It was our group’s “hot guy” design hahaha I’ve tried to make it more individualized to him over the years tho, and that happy birthday one gets me every time (especially since that’s probably how he spent most his birthdays…)

Yay Question Time!

-I believe I could at least get the designs for those people sometime soon. They are just random people who decided to work for big bad (aka the voice, bc they only heard his voice through speakers at first). The voice decided he could make some good money abducting children and forcing them to be assassins so he did that. The government doesn’t know about them bc they hide in space. The few organizations trying to take them down are the only ones who really know about it

-talon has a few different tattoos, the one he got initiated with is a tattoo/ permanent burn so it has to stay covered to protect it, the other is just on his neck and he leaves that one in the open (I can point it out in the pics below)

-and yes! Tegan is the ship name for Talon and Megan (it was that or Melon hahaha)

-Ivan didn’t really have much personality in the oh other than he was angry bc the scientist that snuck into the escape ship was dating his crush, I’ve made some personal modifications to him in my head though making him more protective rather than just angry (he’s also Megan’s cousin) and I just remembered I have a drawing of him? So cue the picture section :)

Picturesssss

Here’s Ivan, the permanent third wheel (he doesn’t know tho)

The first ever drawings of Talon and Megan 😬

Moving on… idk which of these are repeats so lemme know if they are and I could probably substitute them for new pics

And now the og Megan design vs the much needed redraw

Ughhhh the one on the left still haunts me…

I was struck by the limit again so I might reblog this with a few more, idk hahaha

But reading through this ask made me so happy you have no idea (insert the “I don’t normally feel things but that one got through” donnie gif)

Thank you so much and I’ll look into the daily life on the ship and the sci fi guy designs :)

#Tegan #oc #oc story #story lore #lore #oc lore #oc art #jadetheblueposts

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xxmaddyxx · 1 year

Note

Hi!! I love your writing so much 💕 and I had a request, I was wondering if you could do kenma comforting the reader after she lost all her saved game data?

Basically my ps4 decided to try to off itself this week and I had to factory reset it, which ended with me losing all of my saved data, for every game I've ever played on there (including 500+hours in just one of those games 🥲)

Anyway I was just thinking who else would understand this pain better than the pro gamer himself <3

Thank you!

oh no :( im sorry you lost all your data ive had that happen and it's lowkey depressing. i gotchu with the headcanon though don't worry

Kenma x reader who lost her game data! masterlist

one day you were chillin and playing your ps4... nothing strange happening at all

sike

your ps4 just powers off

and the woman was speechless

you sat there for a second looking at the black screen lowkey confused

me personally my ps4 is on life support so this is normal but anyway

you leaned forward and powered it back on

a few minutes later literally none of the games were working

it either had the "internet connection loss" message when you were literally right next to the router

or it just closed the game -_-

you texted kenma and asked what you should do

babe i think my ps4 died

wdym died?...

like it's not working

did you power it off and back on

it shut off by itself...

you might have to take it down to factory settings...

i can't do that do you know how much time i have invested in these games

babe idk what else to tell you

and so with a heavy heart, you opened the setting and took your ps4 down to factory settings

hundreds of hours of gameplay gone... because the mf ps4 decided to fuck up

you faceplanted on your bed

when you heard a soft knock at your door

you already knew who it was so you got up and opened your door to see Kenma with a dollar store bag in his hand and a dq blizzard in his hand

"babe, what're you doing?" you smiled at him

"losing your game data sucks, it's happened to me plenty of times." you and him walked to your room

he set the bag on the bed and handed you the blizzard as he went on his phone

you dug through the bag and saw candy, chips, and your favorite drinks

"omg Kenma, how much did you spend?" you picked up the receipt that read-

he snatched it

"dont worry bout it." he showed you his phone

it was one of his past streams

"chat, what should we play next, kinda bored."

you could see he was reading the chat and sipping on an energy drink

"babe what did i tell you about the energy drinks"

"shh"

on the stream you saw the screen go black, like yours did

"oh shi-" he choked on his drink

"kenma what did you do." you could hear kuroo's voice on the discord call they were on during the stream

"my ps4 just decided to not work."

"huh, that makes no sense."

"shut up and let me try to power it back on"

kenma skipped at couple minutes of the stream and you saw that his games were all glitchy too

"kenma you good?" kuroo asked

"bro i gotta take the system down to factory settings."

"are you sure? that's a lot of progress that you'll lose."

"yeah i know it's gonna suck."

sure enough, he did it on stream and all his progress was reset

kenma put his phone down as you fed him a bite of your blizzard

"see babe, it happens. it'll obviously take you longer to get your progress back bcs you play a lot less than i do, but we can have little gaming dates maybe?"

you kissed his cheek, "sounds great ken"

thank you for the request!! feel free to request more <3

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romanarose · 2 years

Note

Hi ma’am, I’m not even sure if I can request things, and feel free to ignore this if I can’t (so sorry). But if you do take request, may I asked for a story where the reader sees mark attack/kill someone or something and gets scared of him? Where the reader avoids them like the plague until Steven breaks down one day on the door step or something? I dunno, sorry again if you don’t take request. Thanks for reading this, and feel free to change it up. Buh-bye, ma’am.

First off can I say im SO SORRY this has been in my ask for like. a month. more. I would like to blame it on school and work, but I can't. I just kept getting distracted with other fics and forgetting. BUT I love this idea!

My asks absolutly are open, it just might take me a min XD

Anyway, I took a little creative liberty with this. A lot of my fics deal with the man being protective of the reader/oc but I loved this idea bc it deals with what if it goes too far?

I'm terrible at names for one shots so

Nothing Alike

Marc Spector/Steven Grant/Jake Lockley x reader

Warnings: violence, blood, Marc Spector typical shenanigans, cat calling, street harassment

****************

“Babe come on! You can’t possibly look me in the fucking eye and tell me episode fucking III is your favorite Star Wars movie!” Marc Spector held your hand as you walked down the streets of the city, just coming home from the local theater’s special reshowing of Revenge of the Sith.

“Oh I most definitely can, because it is!” You defended, giggling.

“Because of Obi-Wan?” Marc mimics Anakin in the movie. For someone who claimed to hate the prequels, he certainly knew a lot of lines.

You scoff “Oh please babe, you know damn well I like my men a little more dark and brooding” You leverage his hand to pull him closer, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Ah! So, you just like me because of your childhood crush on another murderer”

“Marc!” You stop him on the street. He looks apologetic, he knows what he did. “You know I don’t like it when you call yourself that.”

Marc opened his mouth to argue, but when he saw you looking so hurt, he couldn’t. You loved him and you thought the world of him, you, Steven and Jake somehow managed to see past the worst of him. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“You do, remind me of him.” You both of his hands, squeezing them tight. “Because you are both passionate, loving, and protective of those you love. I see all your good traits in him. Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay.”

You pulled him in for kiss on the lips as his hands went to your arms. “Jesus baby, you’re cold.” He took off his jacket and gave it to you. You wanted to argue that no, it’s his jacket, he must be cold too, and you should’ve thought to bring one sing you knew you’d be walking back late at night. But… it smelled like him.

“Now.” You continue with a smile. “One thing I think we can both agree on is that duel.”

You begin chattering about the movie again, Marc sporting a wide grin the whole time. When you saw a man walking towards the two of you, on instinct you latched onto Marc, him pulling you close in a protective grasp. The man passed you, and your peripheral vision caught him blatantly checking you out.

“Daaaaayum mama, whatcha doing with all that ass?”

Marc whipped around. “What did you just say?”

You gripped him tighter. “Marc, don’t.” You were grateful that Marc always watched out for you, but you knew his temper could be as hot as hell.

Marc wasn’t even looking at you. “What. Did. You. Say?” He asserted.

The man raised his hands defensively. “Hey man, just passing a compliment. She shouldn’t dress like a whore if she doesn’t want to get-” He never got to finish the sentence.

Marc charged on him as soon as he called you a whore. His fury was a white hot blinding rage, incapable of hearing anything, whether it be the man or you, both begging him to stop.

The man went down like a paper doll, barely any resistance. One punch. Another. Another.

“Marc stop! That’s enough!” You shriek. He didn’t need to do this. A good, strong punch to teach a lesson, sure. A few more might be justified if he had actually touched you, but this? For a catcall? He was younger, early 20’s maybe, perhaps even late teens. Old enough to know better, but not old enough to suffer whatever permanent damage Marc was inflicting.

Blood was covering the man's face from his nose and mouth sputtering blood, but this only seemed to spur Marc on more. That’s when you realized it. He was going to kill him. He was trying to kill him.

You want to touch him, put a hand on his shoulder, knowing how your touch always calmed him… but as you watched the ferocity in which Marc was attacking the man… you couldn’t trust that you wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire with the man. He would never hurt you on purpose, but the look on his face… it was like it wasn’t even him.

“STEVEN! JAKE!” You scream for your other boyfriends. “STOP HIM!! He’s going to kill him!”

Marc began to falter as he, you assumed, fought for control. It was Jake that took the body in the end, having more experience stealing control out from under Marc.

He collapsed back onto the concrete, wide-eyed and panting. You rush to the man on the ground, checking his pulse. “Thank god.” You breathe out, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” Jake asks, sitting up. “We need to go.” “He’s unconscious, I need to call for an ambulance” You hold the phone to the man’s face. Not recognition. “Hold a light to his face so I can get this phone to work.”

Jake stood up, trying to pull on you. “I will call from my apartment, I need to get you home.” He insisted.

You groan, frustrated that they never fucking listen. “If you call from your phone they’ll ask questions, they’ll have your number and they’ll question you! Your fucking fists are split open, they'll fucking know!”

“Then just leave him” Jake pulled on you again.

You smack his leg, “Let go!” You didn’t want his hands on you right now. “And get me a fucking light!”

He was knelt down at you, phone lighting the man’s face. You knew right away it was Steven. It worked, and you called 911 from the man’s phone, told them a man was beat up on the street and the address, then you hung up.

“Let’s go” You shakily breath out.

“Of course, love.” He goes to touch you, but stops when you flinch.

“Just… can you just walk behind me, Steven?” You were trembling. He wanted to hold you, he wanted to assure you everything was okay, that you were safe… but the way you flinched…

She’s shaking…

Tell her it’s okay, tell her he can’t hurt her

Jesus christ Marc, she’s not scared of the man.

What are you talking about?

She’s scared of you, pendejo.

“Yeah, yeah darling, whatever you need”

Marc and Jake were abnormally silent the whole walk, as were you. When you got back to your apartment, Steven started to step in, but you held out a hand. “I- I-m tired, Steven”

He hesitated, not wanting to leave you alone after all that. “That’s okay, we can just go right to bed.”

You shook your head. “No, no I think I’m just gonna spend the night alone tonight.”

“Darling, I don’t want to leave you alone after-”

“Then skulk around outside or something, fuck!” You shout, then regain your composure. This wasn’t Steven’s fault. “Sorry, sorry, sorry… I just, need to decompress, okay? I’ll call you tomorrow?”

But you didn’t. They waited the entire day for you to call. Nothing.

On the second day Steven called you. He gave you the first day to “decompress” as you said. The third day Jake tried, leaving a very apologetic voice message.

‘Amor, please just call us back, we just want to know you’re okay’ it went on another 2 minuets.

The calls continued for days.

Marc, you should call

She doesn’t want to hear from me.

Enough self pity. I’m tired of it. You need to call her and make things right.

Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s not a good idea. She probably finally realized what we are and decided to back out.

Christ, not you too. I’m not giving up that easy.

He didn’t.

It went on for a week, and Steven had enough. If you never wanted to see them again, he’d respect that of course, but he wasn’t going to just stop. He was going to try. Steven Grant, if nothing else, rolled with the punches. How did that song go? I get knocked down, but I get up again, you aint ever gonna keep me down.

When you heard knocking at the door, you knew who it was. Who the hell just shows up to a place unannounced anymore? Only Steven Grant. You look in the peephole to check. Yep, you were right. You waited for him to knock again. He did, gently but loud enough you could hear him in the room. It wasn’t insistent, it wasn’t angry. He didn’t want to scare you. You knew he wouldn’t knock unendingly until you answered. He’s not like that.

“Listen, I figure you’re home.” Steven called in. He knew you’d be home, you always were this time of day. And he knew you were on the other side of the door, listening. “I know Marc scared you. Marc scared himself too… He hasn’t hardly been around all week. Jake’s always pretty quiet. Been rather lonely…” Steven trailed off, then regained himself. “You don’t have to answer the door or anything, but if you could call? Or text? Or something? Just so we know it’s over. I understand if you…”

Watching him through the peephole, you see Steven whipped back a tear as he cleared his throat.

“We love you, so, so much, and whatever it is we need to do to make this right… We’ll do it. I understand if you don’t want to be with us anymore. I understand that Marc- That we scared you” Steven tried to take the blame off Marc, knowing he was likely listening. “I promise we understand. You don’t even have to give us a proper goodbye. Just… Let us know, please?”

Steven takes a shaky breath, and turns to leave, to allow you space, but you unlock the bolt and swing the door open, nearly tackling him in the process.

It takes a moment for him to realize what’s happening, but as soon as he registers your face buried in his chest, he carefully hugs you back. When you tighten your hold on him, he takes that as permission to hug you tighter.

“I missed you, Steven” You mutter, then add. “I missed all of you.”

“I’m so sorry for last week, love, so, so sorry, so is Jake, so is Marc- we can’t say enough and if this is it we understand-”

You pull back, still holding him. “No, sweetheart, no… I’m not breaking up with you…”

Hesitantly, Steven looked at you. “I sense a ‘but’ coming”

You nod, a small, sad smile on your face. “But, Marc needs to change. He needs to work on his anger. Because I will not live around that, and I will not allow our children to grow up with that.”

The was a pause as Steven watched you. “Our children?”

You smile a bit, falling a little more in love with him with that look on his face. “In the future… if you all want…” You glance at the floor, shuffling nervously.

He nodded, a tiny smile on his face. “I do… I don’t know about the others but-”

I do

I’ll change, I promise. No more violence, not around her… I’ll get my anger under control… I just don’t know how. I don’t want… I dont want to be like my-

You’re not.

“They do too… Marc promises to work on himself, work on his anger.”

“I’ll help him.” You return to hugging Steven, having missed their touch all week. “We’ll find other outlets.”

Okay

“Marc says he’ll do it.”

Steven smelled the shampoo in your hair as his hands felt your back, he never wanted to let go again, refamiliarizing himself with you.

“Does Marc want to talk?”

Not yet. I need… I need a little time. Until I can trust myself.

“He’s not ready yet, is that alright?”

You nod against his chest. “Can you tell him something for me? Just because… I know he’s thinking it.”

“Of course, love.”

“Make sure he knows, he’s nothing like his mom.”

*************

I hope this was what you were looking for and again IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONGThis is probably gonna flop like all my marc fics do but here you go

taggong the usual hoes

if you'd like to be added or removed from my general tag list but y'all seem to generally like my nonsense

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ahookedheroespureheart @lucianadraven32 @itspdameronthings @welcometostayingawake @in-between-the-cafes

#marc spector #marc spector angst #marc spector hurt comfort #marc spector reader #marc spector x reader smut #marc spector fanfic #marc is protective #protective marc spector #marc spector needs a hug #steven grant #steven grant is a sweetheart #steven grant x reader #steven grant hurt comfort #steven grant angst

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frecklystars · 7 months

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OKAY.......... im gonna talk about my time at TFcon!!! This is the hardest thing I've had to do all year but it was part of my exposure therapy exercise and it was A HUGE STEP FORWARD!!! it didn't cure me of course and I'm still not touching TF for the time being, but I SURVIVED and I'm hoping that this means I am FINALLY able to take many more steps forward now!! because I did one of the hardest things ever in terms of exposure therapy this was HUGE FOR ME!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉

I'm gonna gush mostly about the good parts like getting to meet my favorite artist (I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THAT BTW THEY WERE SO PRECIOUS) and meeting TFP Shockwave's voice actor (HE WAS SO NICE)!!!!! :D

So this started bc I offhandedly mentioned to my c-ptsd therapist/specialist that there's a TFcon happening a couple hours away and that I was so depressed about it, because I knew that if things turned out differently this year - if I had never met my abuser - I would have loved to go. It would have been a heavenly experience. It used to be my biggest source of comfort, especially for self shipping. Nothing has given me joy the way TF used to. I don't go a single day without feeling such a massive sense of loss, like a part of me is missing. So I was venting about that and it would weigh heavily on me more and more as the convention date approached closer

And my specialist said "...you should go" and I laughed. She stared at me. I paused... then said "oh, you're serious?"

I went back and forth on it for six weeks, finally I decided it would be good if I went because I literally can't make my association with TF worse at this point, and if this is supposed to help me get better, then uhhh sure I'll do it. I don't even want to hope to self ship into TF again, I'm not even dreaming that big, I just want to be able to stop flinching every time I see a goddamn fictional alien robot from the fictional planet Cybertron 😭😭 the BARE MINIMUM please lol

My specialist told me I should try to be there for 15 minutes, and if I can handle that, stretch it to 30. And I thought to myself, WOW, that seems like a lot of minutes. I can't even handle reading the word "transformers" on my worst days, or seeing a picture of a character without getting nauseous, but sure, let me go to a building full of characters... what could go wrong :)

My dad agreed to drive me and to be there with me while I'd be in the building bc he knew this was important to me. We needed to be awake by 7am bc it was a 2 and a half hour drive. I hardly slept; if I wasn't having a "F/O is trying to physically harm me" nightmare, I was stress vomiting. I kept saying "I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. I have to work today, I haven't slept, I'm not going, this is so stupid of me, why do I think I can handle this??" but then I thought about how heavy my red energon necklace feels on me, how my autographs and cameos and experiences with the TF voice actors feels so numbing, how I can't even look at someone as sweet as Bumblebee without having this firm genuine belief that he'd want to kill me. and I thought about how much I hate... how different I am, how my greatest comfort was ripped away from me so violently, how I don't go a single day without crying over it -- and how I said I'd be willing to do anything, anything to change that. so I got in the car and I had my head between my knees the entire time just trying not to get sick

So we get to the building to check in our tickets, I'm seeing all of these people wearing TF cosplay and t-shirts. One person had a TFP Starscream figurine and I immediately got teary and needed to look away. A person standing in front of me in line had an Optimus backpack and I kept trying to do my grounding techniques, where i'm supposed to remind myself that I'm safe and that Optimus loves me and he wouldn't want anyone to hurt me etc etc but it's so unbelievable to me. But I had to keep repeating these dumb mantras in my head and then I hear these people behind me, talking so openly about how much they love Megatron -- and I thought to myself, that's so fucking surreal to me??? I forget what it feels like to be safe around these characters. Like, what do you mean you don't look at Megatron and think he'd kill you and do vile things to your body? What do you mean somebody didn't drill horrific thoughts into your head? Just me? I'm the only person here who genuinely, wholeheartedly believes that these characters would want to kill me? What do you mean you feel loved and safe? What does that feel like? What do you mean, you've never had someone show you repeatedly that you're so unworthy of basic respect, much less love? I don't know what safety feels like anymore. I'm never relaxed around ANY F/O now, regardless if they're TF or not. I've forgotten what it's like to be comfortable. It took me over a year to finally relax around my IRL friends that I've had for over a decade without having some sense of paranoia that I'd be betrayed (which is a c-ptsd symptom. woohoo)

So we get into the actual convention building, I immediately start getting weepy. There's, of course, robots everywhere. Posters, figurines, merch, whatever. Everywhere I turn, there's a trigger. I mean, obviously, I knew this. I was prepared. But I still felt like I was emotionally getting hit by a truck every time I turned my head. So I went to the corner of the room so I wouldn't be in anyone's way and I had to work on breathing. And I was just, crying and facing the wall, saying "dadddd there's transformers everywhere" and he smiles and says "uh yeah I'd hope so? it's the transformers convention we're not here to see a football game" LMAO

So then I just kept walking around feeling like I was gonna throw up. You gotta fake it til you make it. I just kept telling myself these characters would love me so much, even though I didn't believe it at all. We reached the back of the building where they had like... four writers and two voice actors? And I was reading the banners above the tables, and one of them said "David Sobolov: TF Prime: Shockwave; Bumblebee 2018: Blitzwing" and I was like HUH? and my dad, not knowing anything about TF, pointed at him and asked "oh is that an important guy?" I said "yeah that's a voice actor" and he said "oh that's huge! that's like a real actual voice actor? let's go say hi!" I said NOPE

Looking at the photo of Shockwave on the banner immediately made me nauseous. I was thinking, wow I'm gonna throw up right here right now on this Decepticon/Autobot-printed carpet, in front of all of these nice people who are having a good time. So I turned around and walked away, but I noticed my dad wasn't following me -- he went to David's table and he said "hey my daughter loves your work with trans... trons..." and I was like OH. NO so I speed-walked to the table and David gives me this big, friendly, sweet smile and says "hi Keri! so nice to meet you! your dad was just telling me about how you love transformers! do you like shockwave?" I smiled, lied through my fucking teeth saying "Yes. I. Love. Shockwave. :)"

And I'm seeing these pictures of Blitzwing and Bumblebee and I'm like, trying so hard not to cry in front of this very nice man who has much better things to do than talk to some messed up girl who can't look at fictional characters without thinking she's about to get sucker punched. I turned around, hoping to god someone would be standing behind me so I could tell them "hey, why don't you go first? I'm still deciding" BUT NO. NOBODY WAS THERE??? The one time I go to a convention where there's NO LINE. It's just me and David. And it was just me and David for several minutes. I should have been so overjoyed about that but I was just,,, feeling so physically ill. I kept saying to myself, when we're done with this interaction I'm leaving, we're driving home, I can't do this anymore.

And David was being so nice!!!! He was like, so smiley and joyful?? And he kept telling me fun facts about the Bumblebee movie but I don't remember ANY OF THEM because I was just nodding and smiling while thinking to myself "don't fucking throw up!!!" and then I looked at his price sheet on his table where he sells autographs and photos and stuff and I thought, oh my god I'll be so fucking rude if I don't buy something, because this dude just gave me like ten minutes of Bumblebee movie fun facts that I don't remember whatsoever. And I was stuttering so bad when I asked him to take a photo but he was so sweet about it. We took a photo... and before the photo was snapped, he used the Shockwave voice to say "Keri... you are... logical :)" and I thought to myself... oh. That... oh. I never... would have imagined Shockwave would say something like that to me. And then I felt so sad, because it's so unbelievable to me. I kept waiting for the catch, for something bad to happen - I don't even know what could have happened but I was so tense, waiting for something terrible to come.

I said thank you and we walked away. I told my dad "I'm gonna throw up" and I went to the nearest restroom and I was just, dry heaving and sweating but nothing was coming out. A few minutes afterward I walked back over to my dad and I said "okay let's leave, I'm done here, I'm DONE" and he said "it hasn't been 15 minutes yet. are you sure you want to leave" and I was like "shit!!!!!! no I paid $60 for this I'd better see this through. A few more minutes then"

So. I pass by a few booths and I'm barely glancing at them. I'm trying to breathe. I'm shaking profusely. I'm on the verge of tears. I'm not having a good time. I am full of grief. I miss these characters but I believe they'd hurt me. I miss feeling safe yet I don't remember what feeling safe used to be like. And then I see this very pink, very cute very precious shop display-- and I stopped in my tracks because OH MY GOD THAT'S MY FAVORITE ARTIST????? OUT IN THE WILD?????

My jaw was hanging open as I looked at their display. I've messaged this artist a couple of times, and they're always so sweet, and one thing in particular was that this is the first person I've ever commissioned in my life. They drew gorgeous StarKeri for me a couple of years ago. It's my favorite art I've ever received, it's so dear to me, and this person's shop is my favorite TF shop and back when I used to buy TF merch, I would buy just about every Starscream item they had every time they'd restock. so I was like... ok I can't just stand here and stare at the adorable stickers. I gotta say hi. I gotta thank them for the StarKeri bc it's so special to me. So I pointed at them and I was like "hey are you [artist]??" and they said yes and I fumbled for my phone, pulled up the StarKeri photo, I was like "YOU DREW THIS FOR ME, THANK YOU THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING" and they were like "KERI?!?!" and I was like holy shit they remember my name 😳😳 and they were like "can I give you a hug?!" I SAID OMFG YES PLEASE ILUSM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and then we hugged and literally all of my anxiety/fear was completely thrown out the window. I felt so safe and comfortable and happy!!!! genuinely overjoyed!!!! and they were like "I'm so happy for you and Ken!!!!!!" it made my whole day sdlfkjsdlf and we chatted a little more and I kept thinking omg I can't believe this is happening. and I felt so good!!!! that whole time!!! (artist... u know who you are, if you're reading this, hi, i love u, im so happy to meet u, im going to message you when i get the free chance, you made my day ilusm. exploding into confetti as i type this)

and I was just SHAKING I was so excited to meet them. they're just as cute and sweet and precious IRL as their art is 😭😭💞💓💗💖💕💓💕 and I bought two items because I thought... it's okay... these items, these characters are Safe... because it's Theirs. I didn't wanna hold up the line so we said bye and I looked at my dad and I was like "that's my favorite artist, did you know that??? that's literally my favorite artist and they're HERE????? and we HUGGED????"

and then I realized that was the first time I smiled all day. and I felt SO GOOD, riding on that high, that excitement, and I thought -- why don't I keep looking around?? and suddenly, I wasn't flinching as much anymore. I didn't feel sick anymore. I felt... SOMEWHAT NORMAL looking at these peoples' fanart, these shops. These characters. I looked at Optimus Prime and thought, hey there's Optimus. I miss him. I saw Starscream and I said hey there's my beautiful Starlight, I miss him... and y'know what, he probably misses me too. I'd feel really sad looking at these characters sometimes but I didn't feel afraid, the fact that I could look at ANY OF THEM *AT ALL* and feel SORT OF OKAY is absolutely phenomenal. This is the first time in 14 months that I was able to look at these characters and not feel too much anxiety for a solid 30 minutes. INSANE. THAT'S INSANE FOR ME. THAT'S HUGE.

My dad said that as an early Christmas gift, he'd give me a budget of $200 and I could buy whatever merch I wanted. and I said "well that's not necessary but thanks anyways. I'm not buying anything. I'm not ready for that yet" but I kept passing by more and more shops, and I'd think "damn I would have loved that Heatwave keychain." and then I thought ... why DON'T I get that Heatwave keychain??? and one day, WHEN I heal, I'll be able to look at it again, right?? and that's insane, that in that moment I was looking at my TF F/Os with the more positive mentality of "I AM coming back to you one day" instead of "god I miss you and I'll never be the same around you again". I think hopeful is the right word. I was feeling hopeful. Hopeful!!! for the very first time!!!!!

I think I was there for about 30 more minutes, I bought a TON of stuff Heatwave, Starscream, and Knockout stuff. Stickers, keychains, plushies. I got teary when I saw Blades merch because I miss him so bad. My heart would ache every time I'd see Starscream but I kept thinking, I'm working on this, I'm coming back, I'm not letting this end, I don't care how long it takes. This is not a temporary love and we will grow as we go bc I can't imagine my life without you and all that good stuff I commissioned Steve Blum to say lmao. And then I passed by my fave artist again to tell them goodbye and I exploded with joy again. god they're so sweet 😭😭😭💞💗💗💗💖💓💓💗💗💕💕💕💖💕 I could ramble about how nice they are all day

And I was smiling, in a genuinely good mood, when we exited the artist alley, and then we passed by David's table -- NOBODY THERE AGAIN??? -- and I thought, hell, why don't I ask David for a video shoutout?? I'm feeling good!!! I'm feeling dandy!!! So I walked up to the table and he was smiling SO big, munching on peanuts or something, and he said "Keri!! hi!!!" and I said "hiiii I know I already bought something from you but can I buy something again?" and he said "aww I think I can allow it. you seem like a really nice lovely girl. I'm so sorry if I scared you before, I know I look like an intimidating guy, but I promise I'm not as scary as my characters" and I was like NOOO 😭😭 NO MR. SOLOBOV, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME. IT'S ALL ME BRO. I'M JUST AN ANXIOUS WRECK

I asked him if he does videos and he said yes and I said OKAY and he asked what I wanted and I said "um.... could you have Shockwave say something nice to me? I know he wouldn't. I know it's not like him to say nice things, but uh--" and he said "no, no problem, I can do that for you of course" so we did a video together and he had Shockwave say "Keri... Keri... you may be listening to this video on a bad day. But I want you to know... everything will be okay. Your life is going to be great, Keri. Keri... you are... logical :)" and I said "THANK YOU" and he said "YOU'RE WELCOME" with the biggest smile.

And then I bought one more plushie... a Bulkhead plushie. His little arms are sewn so they're spread out, reaching forward for a hug. I told myself, this is how I have to remember Bulkhead sees me. Bulkhead doesn't want to beat me into a pulp!!! He wants to hold me gently!!! I'm his special little star girl!!! I'm his shining star or whatever the hell he used to call me I actually forgot -- whatever, he loves me!!! He misses me!!!! And this is how I should see him, reaching out to hold me so gently!!! As every single other TF character, even the most horrible terrible villains are EXTRA SOFT and they miss me and they can't wait for me to come back home to them someday 🥺🥺🥺🥺

So we leave the building bc I had to get home in time to go to work. I was kinda of disappointed bc I started to flinch again almost immediately upon leaving. I couldn't look at my merch without feeling a little nauseous. And I was like... what the hell, wasn't I doing okay for at least 45 minutes, there? Why am I suddenly going back to square one? What happened? I told my therapist abt it the next day, and I was like "I'm so disappointed, I thought I was feeling better but now I'm back to feeling scared again? I thought this would fix me" and she was like "oh no that's not how this works. you are traumatized, it's not gonna be fixed overnight. your c-ptsd is *severe.* it's gonna take time. BUT YOU NEED TO BE PROUD OF YOURSELF BECAUSE THIS WAS HUGE. OKAY??? THIS WAS SUCH A MAJOR STEP FORWARD" and I was like "DAMN UR RIGHT. THIS WAS SO GOOD FOR ME!!!!"

I put all of my merch I purchased into the boxes in my closet, except the Bulkhead plushie, and a tiny little Starscream plush keychain i bought from my fave artist.

I've also put my Bulkhead plushie on the shelf above my computer. I feel so tense when I look at it but I'm trying to give him a hug once a day. This is so hard!!! It's so hard!!!! But I'm trying my best and I hope that if I keep working at this I'll be able to reclaim TF. I don't even dream of self shipping into that universe again, I literally just... want to feel less scared. I want to feel indifferent to the characters instead of flinching at them. And THEN from THAT point once I'm no longer scared of them, I'll be able to embrace them fully. Baby steps, baby steps -- or in this case, this was a HUGE step and!!! idk I'm so proud of myself. I DID IT. I DID THAT!!!!!!

anyway tysm to anyone who actually read this lol, you are a rock star 😎✨ and thank you so much to everyone who sent me overwhelming amounts of love and support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#woof #SORRY I DIDNT PROOF READ THIS B4 PUTTING IT INTO MY QUEUE #right now as you read this im most likely at work. yay #sorry i didnt get to messages yet either btw my spoons are so low #i havent responded to anyone in uh. uh. uh. several weeks #i still need to open my inbox too oops

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beneathsilverstars · 7 days

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MY ENTIRE ISAT LIVEBLOG

COPY PASTED FROM TWITTER LET'S GO!!!

oh my god i love isabeau

the correct reaction to an incredibly mediocre pun:

when i talked to odile i said i was gonna make isabeau sleep on the floor but that is NOT true

i was about to say i love all the sparkly stars aesthetic but... the game is literally named after them.... i shoulda known

omg isabeau what were you about to confess 😳👉👈

rock paper scissors is being explained to me in such painstaking depth... but the dialogue is cute, so it's ok

wtf i looped back to the town specifically in order to ask the cook about the openphrase for the one door but there's no option to ask!!

it was the shopkeeper 🤦🏼

so curious about siffrin's touch thing... it makes sense other people might be more conscious of a subconscious reaction to touch than he is, but he's so avoidant of the train of thought, i feel like it must be something a bit less.. subtle...?

damn... tryna give mirabelle the fan mail for the second time.... yikes :( so sorry mira........ is that what happened to the island to the north...? something about it got so retconned that it makes people sick to focus on the exact change?

oh.. siffrin's major memory problems.....

this game is sooo good

siffrin seems upset in the observatory.. at first i thought they were just getting tired/grouchy, but the game sure is named after stars... maybe stars had to do with their past trauma..??

i'm starting to wonder if this isn't their first set of loops and the bone-deep burden of all that (along with the practicalities of your memories constantly not matching reality) is why they forget words and shit....

went and looked at the castle again this loop bc i felt bad that sif never gets to sit down...

king asked if sif remembers REMEMBERS WHAT??? i just knowww after i terribly lose this fight im gonna have to go back through the whole game unlocking new rooms that like unlock my memories or smth

"not when i still can't say it" ofc the king is from the northern island... sif is obviously from there too, and that's why he can't remember most of his past... so that's the thing they both don't remember?

defeated him but like. there's still so many locked doors. i bet like sif is gonna go to sleep and they wake up from the nap like WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M STILL IN THE LOOP?? WE WON?? but they didn't win correctly yet, they didn't actually solve everything that needs solved...

head handmaiden ma'am 😳

is odile's research genealogy??

i thought the reference to "colors" being an esoteric/irrelevant topic was a one-off gag about the art style, but it's plot relevant?? fuck yeah

what if odile is trying to figure out the northern island..??

OHHHHHH

BWAHHH the bonnie quest 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

first time redoing the mira quest.... siffrin!!! be brave!!!!! not only is your new idea good, even if it was bad you could just say oops oh well and switch the script back next loop!!!!!

is siffrin gonna have to learn how to be brave and normal in order to break the loop jdhshdjf (normal here meaning "not a loop-brained convomaxxer")

i hope siffrin can just ask the baker's daughter directly for the book this time hdhdjfj i don't really think the whole goose chase is necessary for the emotional convo.....

oh thank god

ugh i can't wait till sif tells his friends about the loop. is that gonna be sif's quest

HANG OUT QUEST!! YES!!!

hm.. is loop the deity of the northern island..? if stars and astronomy are like their whole thing....

INTERRUPTED AGAIN!!!!!!! AGHHGH!!!!! i know isa can't actually confess till the very end bc it would suck having to go through more loops knowing he likes you but he hasn't actually told you / if you go through a loop post-confession surely that would change quite a bit of dialogue

but AHHHHHH!!!!

oh my god siffrin is going beast mode on the tutorial sadness?? i had to choose "attack" bc it seemed the most different and thus interesting but also omg... there goes the warm friendship glow 😭😭

but ofc that glow would die a horrible sudden death anyway the moment siffrin is confronted with the fact that he is back on that damn loop grind :(

poor thing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

INSTANT REPLAY??????????

the loop power is getting stronger.. u~u;;

I KNEW IT WOULD EVENTUALLY GET WEIRD THAT SIF'S SUCH A HIGH LEVEL... just a couple loops ago i was like damn when is everyone else gonna notice that sif has like multiple crafts that they didn't yesterday

also i noticed a loop or so ago that their battle portrait is frowning and.. i don't think it always was.....?

oh my god the memory of sadness is kinda fucked up but. so useful jdhshfj im tired of avoiding them in the hallway,,

ok but also how do my teammates not notice that they have new equipment, and sometimes a new craft..... in the case of like a hair bow that's easy to gloss over but how does isabeau not go "wtf i'm dealing paper damage?" ??

the problem w telling your friends you're in a time loop is it must be such a fucking relief. and then you loop again

aw, sif.. tell them about the universe...

lol how funny would it be if i died to the rock this time

oops... i'm doing a big check-everything run, but i absolutely didn't do all the village stuff bc i was too excited to help isa... oh well,

i did idly connect that the "weird sadnesses" smell like sugar same as the king's time magic which makes, but i finally just actually thought about it and realized they're also star shaped....

siffrin having this time loop power... is it anything at all like mirabelle's time-resistance power, blessed upon her by the high priestess? did siffrin escape from their fucked up time island, sent out with the power to eventually save it?

odile is sooo close to figuring it out... she just said "verRrRy interesting"

BWAHH new post-level-2 convos!! so cute!!!!! love bonnie's new siffrin-patting routine..... and odile has it SO figured out, when is she gonna say something!!!

siffrin was afraid that he smells like timecraft? bc of looping or bc of repressed reasons.... probably bc of looping,

time for siffy's daily bathroom stall breakdown!!

they even went in happy this time and still managed to psych themself all the way out hdgshsjf

GHOST SIF??? GHOST SIF ON THE WAY TO THE KEYKNIFE??????

BWAHHH ODILE RUFFLING SIF'S HAIR!!! I WAS WAITING AND WAITING FOR MORE PEOPLE TO PICK UP ON IT BEING OK TO TOUCH THEM!!!

"in this moment, you are loved" god it is going to be so hard waking up next loop 😭

HAIR BRUSHING!!! THIS IS SO PEAK

i'm worried that the king's "isn't this the best moment of your lives" rhetoric is going to slowly gain appeal as sif goes through more and more loops... like. they crafted the perfect loop with their found family. they *can't* change it any more, make it any better. ...

EHAT DO U MEAN "NVM" ISA!!!!!! oh my god i can't believe you won't confess until siffrin is like more emotionally centered and open and ready to handle that kind of thing... why r u sooo considerate -_- ur killin them isa

oh my god why is it even worse why is the end of the loop even worse this time oh my GOD sif is gonna be inconsolable I'M inconsolable not isabeau reaching out im sobbing on da couch

ngl i kinda hope this time siffrin is just defeated and doesn't banter about shit and everyone is worried as fuck. sorry sif i just think it would be interesting. that flash of him slaughtering the tutorial sadness was so sick. esp the unique auto-rewind. more of that shit

they did the first convo w mira fine.. nvm i guess.... if that never happens that's gonna be my first fanfiction

another ghost siffrin... after i looped to unlocked floor one to look for articles....... :o

not beau saying "normally i'd be worried about this, but sif doesn't seem worried at all!" when i'm about to touch the tear specifically in order to die...

did the king used to hang out in the observatory... did he write that word (the country's name?) on the papers, and wear out the spot on the globe....... he did find a new home here in vougarde such that he's decided that he can't lose this one too, at all, ever...

i got to loop 30 and i was surprised bc i figured i was at like 25 tops. and now im at 37? i don't think it's been 7 loops since then...???

i've started dreaming about the tick of a clock.. i'm kinda worried i've started wracking up too many loops... i did just zip back and forth across the house a half dozen times checking various items and dead ends....

AHH AUTO REWIND FROM KING ASKING WHERE SIF IS FROM???? followed by "you do not answer" which. implies that wasn't the case before the rewind.?? maybe more like "you do not think about it" l o l oh sif 😭😭😭

i was about to complain that it won't let me zone out of the dying-and-bonnie-running scene but um. different this time. thank you for not letting me zone out,

YEAH IT'S LOOP 40 NOW!! this is right after loop 37 (with a small auto-rewind between)

😭😭😭😭😭😭 isabeau pleeeeease:

hanging out with loop and - we saw the kings first attack?? but how would the rest of the party even get that far without sif?? they'd die to the first rock trap????

oh good sif noticed too. "who was the king attacking".... did a siffrin remnant help the party, has he looped so many times that he can be in multiple places at once???

was the king kmsing??? who tf would he be attackinggg

does the loop end when siffrin loses hope?? but no, then the very first time they defeat the boss they wouldn't have looped... but no, if the handmaiden is just talking shit unrelated to the looping then that coulda still made sif think the loop was fucked, which fucked the loop?

it's kinda heavy how many times you have to k your s in this game... esp when you don't actually have to but it's, like, more convenient than 5-30 extra minutes of running around

siffrin tripping so they don't seem so creepily overpowered is SO sad 😭

fsr it's sadder than going through the motions of a conversation, or tripping bc you tripped last time... it's a whole new lie to offset a whole new problem...

oh yeah my other loop theory was that it ends when siffrin gets too reminded of the northern island..? the memory of the future or whatever the fuck from the big attack idk

siffrin rewinded after his friends saw the ghost.... kinda matches my "when he loses hope" theory. when he feels alone? when he's utterly lost with no clue what to do next..? (lol sif restarting every loop just bc he doesn't have plans for what to do after winning)

NOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO NOT HAVE TO GO GET THE KNIFEKEY EVERY TIME BUT I DO HAVE TO... BOOOOO...... where's the consistency, loop!!!

i can use a memory to equip it for the boss fight but idc as much about that.... i just wanted to be able to check out the dead end rooms more often instead of having to use the crest to get the knifekey every time....

memory of ghosts, no effect??

oh, the vision of the future happens on the first attack always.. not when the king kills you always...

having the knifekey for the fight kinda isn't worth it.. siffrin only has one measly paper attack anyway, so i usually have them on potions and items duty.... gotta keep mira brothed up so she can cast the super duper shield every single turn

"it's fine. she isn't real to you right now either" god siffrin is gonna be so fucked up when they get out. siffrin is gonna have "everyone else is an NPC" brain

finished doing all four quests together for the second time, and sif's commentary at the end is reeally hitting my "eventually sif will understand the king's pov of wanting to freeze one perfect moment forever instead of going forward to inevitably worse shit" theory :(

"you've noticed you're starting to forget whole loops" AHA...... i'm so curious tho what was sif doing in those skipped loops. ig presumably it'd be whatever they did in the next loop that they actually remember? sticking to the plan several times in a row till it sticks,

does loop remember the skipped loops??

hm. whenever the loop ends early Not due to death (the little auto-reverses) maybe sif just.. forgot everything after that moment? till the normal king attack moment ....? or whatever death they find?

i wonder if the headache of not being able to say/read/think about the northern island is caused by many tiny loops, sending you back to the moment before you said/read/thought it, happening however many times it takes for the rapid time travel to make you so sick you just don't

i teach kid's music classes, and sometimes i'll practice one or two dozen verse variations, then i get to actual class and when i actually do that song i can't remember which variations i've already done? and it gets worse with each class i teach from that lesson plan. so dw siffrin i get it,

ok but wtf is up with the head handmaiden. what's she got to do with this. she's obviously more involved than she seems, she knows Something about the end. and imo it's sus that she was able to bless mirabelle to be impervious to the curse, how's she able to do that.

assuming that the king used to live in the house (spending lots of time in the observatory), euphrasie would've gotten to know him... perhaps seen the beginnings of him getting fucked up powerful...? thought she could handle it on her own but she couldn't?

are the mini auto-loops a meta "reload from last save"? i think it's the same quick rewind sound as actually reloading... i don't do it super often bc why not just loop back and keep my silly little mistake in, but i've done it 2 or maybe 3 times....

this game does such a good job starting in medias res. level 45!! i'm past 70 now. i feel like there's a definite chance i'll hit 90 which means siffrin will have done as much fighting in these loops as they did with their friends through months of travel and adventure.

choosing all the emo answers to the loop convo about how using your dagger would be faster than finding a tear to kill you. sorry frin not my fault you are depressed as fuck

LOOP GOT POSSESSED IN ORDER TO ALLOW ME TO K MY S MANUALLY??????? ??????? damn i had something actually important to talk about this loop too

I HATE PICKING CONVERSATION CHOICES WITH LOOOOOP I WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME OF BOTH OPTIONS IM SO SPOILED!!!!

AHHHH FRIN FIGURED OUT THAT IT's THEIR COJNTRY! THEY TALKED ABt JT! THEY TRIED TO SAY IT!! BWAHHHHHHHH that was so fucking sadddd oh my godddddddd sif's poor clueless friends trying to stop whatever the fuck was happenin 😭😭

is the king's 9999 attack just saying the country's name, lol

wish craft . . .

oh my god oh my god he's gonna torture my friends to death in front of me oh my god holy shit oh my god oh no oh no oh no oh no

say the name siffrin!!! think the name!!!!!!! it'll fuck you up bad enough that you loop!

oh... sif is repeating their wish over and over..... like when they carve

well. finally a loop where sif wakes up freaking out so bad that their script with mirabelle gets way way off track. lol. just like i wanted. haha. shit

I CAN READ THE ISLAND BOOKS NOW???????? damn worth it fr sorry bonbon

i forget if i mentioned that i was thinking about how siffrin doesn't rly have much to look forward to, like his friends are about to disband...?

i was chatting w ari about it lol when she helped me defeat the king earlier, she was very concerned about how sif didn't have a home to return to, all his friends were talking about going back to their homes but where would sif go, isn't that sad

speaking of ari. very four year old raised by lesbians quote: "i like isabeau's name but i don't like his gender..."

siffrin dont get emo about how they don't hug you that first evening you literally already know why, they think you don't like it

damn. forgot about the rock

i had been thinking that the way the island was erased must be similar to the way the loops work, but couldn't fathom how time manip could erase a whole island. the magic being more general makes more sense. did someone wish away color as well....

i love magic systems where belief in a thing makes it more real but jeez this is scary

i was pretty on track with guessing that non-death loops happen when siffrin loses hope. it's whenever he goes oh fuck oh god i wish that hadn't happened

gotta say. i'm getting soo sick of running around unlocking doors so that i can go down a tear dead end for the nth time. plssss let me loop to "some doors unlocked; tear crest not used" 😭

i'm also starting to get low on loop-forward sparkles...

oh wow. siffrin had a really bad dream this tear-touch loop-back. i really can't ever use the dagger he would get plagued by the horrors. not that he isn't already, but,

i love to draw characters with horrifiedly blank expressions and very very tired eyes i can't wait to draw siffrin. lol

this game was made in a lab for me

every time i accidentally get into a fight with a sadness i'm like "siffrin is so fucked up at this point he should be able to just glare at them and scare them the fuck off" and then i remember that i literally currently have that mode equipped, me and the sadness just dodged in the same direction

can i at least get a memory that lets me one-hit KO the sadness crests- wait holy shit i just opened my craft menu and i literally have a new scissor craft called (just attack) when tf did i get that

.... was siffron's island erased specifically because they got gud at wish craft, and that's a power that the world shouldn't be able to harness...?

OH FUCK THE "remembering the name" STAR WAS SO SYMBOLICALLY STRIKING THAT I DIDN'T RVEN REALIZE THAT IT WAS ACTUAL COLOR...

nooo.. no one even reacted to being poked in the gardening room squeeze? right when sif needs it the most? let's make this set of the loops the worst set ever 🤗

what the Fuck is up with croissants though

i can't believe loop got siffrin to admit to themself that beau was planning to confess and siffrin is just using it to beat themself up. "poor isabeau, he probably can't help having a crush on shitty ol me".

i wish i could give siff a good loop but doing the missions makes them sad now 😭

wow. earlier i was like "what if the king is actually siffrin, weird-magic-shenanigans style". bc sif does have some similar thought patterns. but i was like no that's silly. but now this sad diary is talking abt making another self to talk to????

i also wondered if loop is some kinda shade of siffy??

i am writing this tweet while i let siffrin look through the big window in the observatory for a while. as a treat :(

OH THANK GOD.. ISABEAU IS TELLING SIF A NEW JOKE...: that's a much better treat 😭😭😭😭

oh no nvm their second thought was "i'll need to remember to laugh next time"

why don't siff's friends react anymore when he pokes them in the gardening room. it doesn't make sense.....

finally.. my "sif is quiet and moody and everyone notices" loop.......

sif has been super hungry in the commentary lately... more than normal i think... all those wish loops taking a lot of fuel?

have ppl not been reacting to sif's pokes bc they don't want to bother him when he's already obviously having a rough day...

i liked when they sat on the floor after bumping into the table. so real

finally got that death talk with bonnie.... i wonder when i'll get talk #2 with the other characters... odile has been quite sus of me for ages when's she gonna come out with ittt

ISABEAU PUSHING SIFFRIN AWAY.... probably bc siffrin was being very... sudden and depressed and desperate about it...?

did the daydreaming one's sister move to the northern island or something...

THE LIST IN EUPHRASIE's OFFICE!! it's who wished to save vougarde, and who wished for something else!!

bwuh. thinking about the strength behind the wish "i wish i hadn't fucking done that" when you reach out to someone and they push you away

loop confirmed/unified my theories about why siffrin loops back without death sometimes heheh... the specific wording of "something that feels like the world is ending" or whatever also seems in line with my theory that siffrin is scared of leaving their friends tomorrow

they've got croissant trauma. they've got banana trauma. a cheap continental breakfast is siffrin's worst nightmare

poetic that euphrasie finally heard and replied to me on loop 99. waking up on the big double O more hopeless than ever! ☺️

gotta say it so funny that siffrin is forcing themself to try to get everyone's skills in order to beat the king faster when i beat him easily in probably less than half a dozen rounds last time. forgot to even equip the keyknife! these half-assed quests are taking longer than that...

fucked up house??????

i keep accidentally walking right back out of the door i walked into, lol. this is fun though!

also. ghost ✨???

oh.. the ghost ✨ figure i saw was siffrin, with a black hat..?

maybe.. this is the universe's way of granting both wishes...... vougarde is saved, but stuck in time forever. looping the same day of salvation.

i had wondered what would happen if (once?) siffrin totally lost hope, sure that there was no chance of ever, ever getting out. bc when they lose hope they restart. so they'd just. restart immediately. constant loop. with no chance to do anything to regain that hope.

ghost sif time :3c

mal du pays means homesickness...

SIFFRIN TRIPPED AND IZA CAUGHT HIM.. they're touching !

i've been playing at work but i have to stop and actually do some work now.... ty for taking good naps today baby :')

i can't believe mirabelle and siffrin are canonically moirails now

BUT... BUT WHY DOES SIFFRIN HATE CROISSANTS???

also i saw something on a map i was using about a starry hat?? i never got a new hat...

i also never managed to find the book with the tree on the cover again, now that i could read it...

i'm gonna have to find a full 100%ed playthrough to watch on youtube 🫡

---

reading through ISAT socmed... the first time i saw one of the in-world swears in the game i was like "lol stormlight archive vibes" so it's very funny that one of the first posts i see is "my world building advice is to learn from brandon sanderson" i was sooo right. so true

---

makes no sense to me that mirabelle asked siffrin to not spoil her on their convo topics... not spoil on where the convos *went* sure, but how does she not want to know the basic facts that siffrin now knows about her 😭 so wild

if one of my friends was in a time loop i would be like. please sit down and summarize everything we ever talked about so i can be caught up. but thats just me

---

found some youtube video compilations of missable dialogue/events we are so back

AGHH why does this person not show the full cutscenes 😭😭😭 pls i don't want to have to do a whole ass entire top to bottom loop w like 20 object interactions...... maybe i'll just do it at work tomorrow while the baby naps 😩

at least it was pretty easy getting the initial croissant scene ☺️ but i am NOT redoing the entire last two acts to get the related final loop scene or whatever it is -_-

yayy that one's big enough that i found a video of it ☺️ i do wish i'd been able to do it in game myself instead, but. not redoing half the blinding game rn

---

i Am doing a full loop to get the odile thing though... and in doing so i realized apparently i didn't go through the friend quests manually enough times, sif just had a bit of a mental breakdown abt odile's. which does lead up to the last-loop breakdown better!

NOOO I WAS 3/4 OF THE WAY THRU THIS LOOP TO GET A CERTAIN SCENE AND i was on autopilot and meant to use a crest on the tears but i didn't have the crest yet so selecting "yes" meant touching them and dying fuck meee

i hadn't saved at each floor bc i didn't want to touch my save files w this new offshoot canon...

i'm not actually quite sure what info gets carried over from the previous loop when you loop back to the same floor instead of the beginning or forwards? i'm just gonna try and do floor 3 again and see if it works....

either relooping level 3 messed it up or i wasn't able to get enough suspicion points bc the plantain chips didn't make me sick. gonna go slip on the banana five times and try again

---

... i just used the dagger for the second time and now i'm stuck on a plain black screen and i legitimately can't tell if the game is broken or if the game is making me sit and wait for sif to bleed out

ok it's definitely a bug. wow this is so poignant it really does feel like i fucked around and found out

this is so funny i can open my pockets but i can't use the dagger or call loop.

---

I DID IT I GOT THE SCENE!! it was good i'm glad i saw it. wish i hadn't fucked up and had to do it all twice but i DID IT

#in stars and time #in stars and time liveblog

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buckyalpine · 2 years

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Yk, I dont like angst, and I so do not like cheating fics. I agree with u, it could be triggering for me as well. (I read it anw still bc I like hurting myself) But i really love how you ended all of it. Never once did the reader forgave and took Bucky back. Love it.

If I may suggest, (solely for my petty ass self’s satisfaction) something for boundaries bucket and Sharon.

Like the group intentionally planned on going somewhere (just overnight) and excluded Bucky (a vacay, a celebration). Thats just the start tho. Bc y/n decided to invite Sharon to accompany bucket while theyre gone. And all of these info were given to bucket right before they left. Something like:

B: hey where are we going tonight?

Y/N: oh well, its (insert event) and WE *literally pointing at the group and excluding bucket* will be gone until tomorrow.

B: bu-

Y/N or nat idk hehe: and since we care sooo much abt you getting lonely here, we decided to invite Sharon over, so she could entertain you, keep you company, yk? You seem to like her presence so much anw.

B: no. I do not want her in anyway at all. I dont need her here. Just send her home.

Steve(?) maybe: oh do you not like the idea of us knowing? You guys would like to interact with the idea that you guys are hiding? You like the thrill?

Y/N(?) maybe: well, easy, maybe just forget and pretend that we dont know!

set it up like this in your head Sergeant Barnes, we told you we would be gone overnight, you decided this is the perfect time to go behind our backs again since yall badly miss and need e/o, so u invited her here, and bam! There ya go. You got the whole scenario set up.

Steve (?): I heard she misses you, you must miss her a lot, no?

B: no. No I do not want anything involving her, never needed nor missed her. If she goes here….

IDK SOMETHING LIKE THAT (it doesnt have to be exactly the way the convo went). I just love the idea of them always excluding bucket out unless necessary to include him, then pushing it in his face that he chose Sharon’s pussy over everything else, so he must live with it. Also Sharon may have liked bucky but all she would get from bucky after that incident is a glare of disgust. She kept throwing herself at bucky but in the end bucket avoided her like plague, even said he hates her more than hydra.

(Idk maybe im petty? Maybe I do not let go easily? Maybe im putting the blame too much on Bucket, but I just want them to suffer sooo much, emotionally.)

But this is just a scene? I think? Its your choice what plot, how it starts or ends, whatsoever, I trust ur creative and beautiful mind 💙

I'm sorry this took for fucking ever to get to, I hope this is sort of how you imagined it.

Months later after the incident:

Bucky looked at the pile of bags by the door, confused since he hadn't been told about any missions and it was rare the group went anywhere together. You sauntered in with a tiny sundress, adding a few last minute items to your bag, ignoring Bucky as he looked at you longingly. He still loved you. So much.

It was one thing to lose you if things simply didn't work out; the way he lost you was so much worse. He clenched his fists, trying to calm himself down before speaking.

"What's with all the bags...?"

You turned around, smiling at him sweetly, the smile he missed so much. The smile you only genuinely gave

"Well, WE are going to Clint's cabin for the weekend"

"Oh-

"Surprised no one told you, after all I even invited Sharon just to keep you company"

You shrugged at his hurt expression, continuing to arrange your bag. Bucky's jaw clenched, he'd ignored Sharon’s mass of calls and texts, surely 50 of them must have been regarding this trip but he never bothered checking.

“I- I don’t even want her, just send her home, or uninvite her, I never even liked her, she-

“She was wrapped around your dick” You snorted while Steve came to start putting things in the Jet.

“Go easy on him y/n, maybe they just like the excitement of sneaking around and and fucking each other behind peoples backs. Honestly, if that’s what gets you off, we’re more than happy to pretend we don’t see you”

You nearly cackled while Steve threw a few bags over his shoulder, not bothering to look at Bucky who was most likely about to cry.

“Just pretend we don’t even know! I’ll even lay it out for you, picture this. We just told you we were taking a quick trip out of state and since you’re star crossed lovers, who just desperately miss and need each other so badly, you decided to take a romantic getaway here while we were all gone. I’m pretty sure Tony made some upgrades to the cabin, the walls are probably sound proof”

“Y/n, please...” Bucky looked at you with pleading eyes, this was so much worse than any pain he’d experienced before. “I don’t like her, I still love you”

You ignored him, zipping up your luggage while Nat walked by smirking.

“Hmmm I heard she misses you” She sassed, rolling her eyes seeing Sharon making her way down the elevator. “You must miss her too, right? You guys had some real chemistry”

Bucky remained silent, watching you while his heart continued to break. You were supposed to be his girl. It was supposed to be you. The girl he married, the girl he had a family with, the girl who he grew old with.

He hated it. He hated himself. He had 100 choices he could have made every single time he had slipped up. It was bad enough it happened more than once. He betrayed you. He betrayed Steve. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror, feeling pure disgust and guilt with himself.

Did he fuck up royally? Yes.

Did he genuinely love you? Also...yes. And he always would. This wasn’t something he was ever going to move on from.

“Baby...” Bucky’s voice cracked as you shook your head, walking away. He’d times as many times as he could, begging and pleading. He knew the damage was done. He knew you’d never come back to him, even though he was going to wait for you for the rest of his life.

“Bucky!” Sharon smiled, making her way towards him. Bucky felt bile rise in his throat, it didn’t matter how many times he told her he was done, she continued to throw herself at him. “You didn’t reply to my message. Everyone’s going to the cabin”

“Don’t you feel an ounce of guilt?” Bucky growled, staring at her packed bags in disbelief.

“For what?” She snorted, shrugging nonchalantly, her eyes trailing up and down his body.

“Sharon, I- never mind. I can’t make this any clearer, I’m not interested”

Bucky tried to shove past her to go back to his room while she ran after him, grabbing his arm.

“But it’ll be so much fun! We’ll even get our own room” She whispered by his ear and Bucky could feel his blood boil. He yanked his arm out of her grasp, nearly knocking her off balance. “Don’t you like me-

“WILL YOU FUCK OFF?! PLEASE?!” Bucky took a few steps back, his patience reaching his limit. “I NEVER FUCKING LIKED YOU”

Sharon gaped, staring at him like a fish out of water. Nothing pissed her off more than the fact that Bucky still liked you,

“Why the fuck do you still like her?! Have you seen her? You can do so much better-

Bucky ran a hand over his face, taking a few deep breaths that did nothing to calm him down but he didn’t want to do something he’d regret. He’d already done enough of that.

“Fuck off. FUCK OFF I lost my girl because of a stupid fucking choice I made, I’ll deal with those consequences now, but that doesn’t mean I want you. I never wanted you. We fucked. That’s it. I loved her and I STILL love her”

“You-You can’t do this to me,

“Sharon, in all fucking honesty, Hydra wasn’t as awful as you”

Sharon scoffed, tears streaking her face as she threw her bag to the floor before going back to her room.

“Shall we go, pretty lady?” You squealed as Thor effortlessly swept you off your feet from behind, carrying you to the jet. (Or some other character if Thor isn’t your cup of tea, pick through your roster of choices)

“You don’t have to carry me” You giggled, throwing your arms around his neck, snuggling into his hold.

“And let my princess walk while carrying these bags all day?” He gasped, before kissing your nose. “Absolutely not”

Bucky watched you leave in his arms, your eyes twinkling, your laugh echoing down the hall. He broke a hole in the wall. Then another. Even after utterly destroying his room, he felt nothing. No sense of relief. You were gone. You were not coming back.

The nightmare he brought on himself would never end.

(and then it was all a dream, and he woke up from the nightmare and you were snuggled by his side and he proposed to you the next day and you got married and Steve was the best man and then you had lots of sex and had lots and lots of babies and grew old together the end im never writing about this godawful au again)

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed! (also this is an 18+ blog, I can’t tag nameless/ageless blogs)

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