#author majored in theology
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blessed the latter part
papa iv/copia x reader
You could watch the snow falling outside where you sat in the library. Your table and chair was tucked away, in a corner by a window, hidden by a few catacombs and bookshelves. This was your favorite spot to sit quietly and be away from the hustle and bustle of life in the abbey, and days where you received your favorite visitor here were all the more special.
You weren’t expecting Copia to come find you today, however. His pillow talk the previous night had consisted of a few regrettable changes to plans for the week due to some meetings that were an ugly surprise from Sister Imperator. Copia’s break was ending, you feared what came next for your lover-in-secret. What started as a few flirty texts while he was away on tour as a cardinal turned into an on and off affair that had been on since Copia brought you on the first leg of the Imperatour. You didn’t want to tell anyone at the ministry about it, but the ghouls knew. The ghouls always knew, but aside from them, as far as you knew, it was secret.
He had also asked you to do some research for him, so like a good partner, you set aside a few hours to attempt to answer a few of his questions about the book of Job and his peculiar award. You could still see the adorable roll of his brows and the creases in his eyelids as he asked you why Job would name his daughter Eyeshadow in the candle light.
You were started, then, when you heard some familiar footfalls echo off the marble walls towards you. He stopped a few feet away from you, his shadow elongating across the snowy window, and cleared his throat timidly. It was one of your favorite Copia noises and you smiled warmly at the welcome sight of your lover.
“Your bangs are curly.”
You looked up to find him standing above you, his jacket off and cracked in his arms. His frame was hugged by his waistcoat, and the sight was intoxicating. You motioned for him to sit at the table — he obliged after some coaxing.
“Yeah-“ you cleared your throat and watched as he sat besides you, “I didn’t have time to straighten them this morning.”
Copia leaned over and gently tapped the end of his pen against your temple. When you giggled, he dragged it through the front part of your hair, a short curl springing out and framing your forehead. “They look so beautiful,” he hummed softly, his other hand moving towards the back of your head. You felt his fingertips pad against your scalp, someplace between a message and a scratch, sensational through your still damp roots. You had to fight your eyes from rolling back into your head and a moan slipping out of your lips, and your efforts only half worked.
“Papa…” you whispered, knowing you were the only two in this part of the library but still scared of someone finding you here like this. So scared of your secret romance finally being exposed. So scared of Imperator hearing you call him by his name and banishing you on the spot.
Copia, sensing your apprehension, just smiled at you calmly. He kept his hand behind your head but brought his over around your face, his fingers gently running over the little curlies around your eyes. “I like them like this, a lot. Very sweet, amore.” He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss above the tail of your eyebrow, his lips gently grazing over your bangs in the process. “My sweet love, dolce amore.”
Copia loved to whisper to you in public. Little words of affection and terms of endearment sent out only for you to receive, his love declared for you in the most visible of secret places. You knew you couldn’t keep this up forever, but you enjoyed the idea that you could and enjoyed that you were fooling everyone so terribly.
“I’m glad I get to see you today,” you whispered, subconsciously leaning into the touch you craved, “I thought I wouldn’t until dinner, if I was lucky.”
“Things are going smoother than anticipated,” Copia grinned, his papal paint slightly smudged around his lips from biting or pursing or the quick good-bye you snuck in this morning or the latte you snuck him later in the day, “I think the ghouls wanted to rush, for some reason.” He leaned forward and gently leaned his forehead against yours, “But I think I can guess. They’re very compassionate.”
You giggled at the thought of the ghouls cooperating just to get Copia back home to you, even if it was just for a fifteen minute break. “That’s so sweet.”
“Aurora told me your hair was cute today,” Copia mused, twirling one of your curled bangs around his fingers, “your hair is cute everyday but she was right about this one. I never get to see this.”
You tilted your chin up to meet Copia’s lips in a soft, delicate kiss, careful of the remaining paint around his lips. He hummed appreciatively, satisfaction coursing through his soul.
“I love you,” he whispered before reconnecting with you in another kiss.
“When will I see you next?” You whispered back, your breath fanning across his lips.
“Dinner, probably,” he said with a wistful sigh, “but I had to see you for some motivation. Tu mi dai la forza, angelo.”
“Mmm, that reminds me,” you said, a dopey smile on your face as you swam in his sweet scent and his sweet words, “I need another Italian lesson, Papa.”
“But you just had one last night,” Copia mused, tapping your chin lovingly, “I’m a busy Papa, you know. Can’t spend all my nights teaching you the language of love.”
That was a lie, or a half truth, perhaps — Copia would be a busy Papa because of you. He would be busy with you, devoting all his time to enjoying and loving and treasuring you. Copia didn’t plan to spend another night apart from you. He’d gladly give all of his nights to you, if you’d have them.
“I’m sure you can tweak your schedule to fit me in,” you pouted. Copia took the opportunity to press a kiss full and flush into your lips, papal makeup be damned.
“Then I’ll prepare a lesson,” he said softly as he stood back up.
“Oh, please don’t go,” you said, reaching up to take his hand in yours.
“mi dispiace, amore,” Copia replied as he laid his other hand on your face, cupping it gently. His thumb gently brushed your curly bangs out of your eyes. “I have to get back so we can end today before six.”
You nodded, turning your head to kiss the inside of his wrist, between the end of his glove and the beginning of his sleeve. “I understand but that doesn’t mean I like it.”
Copia laughed softly and nodded, leaning down to give you one last forehead kiss. “I know, I know. Find me some answers, okay? I trust you.” He stroked your face lovingly, his eyes staring down into yours and drinking you in before he gently patted your cheek. “I’ll see you soon, baby.” He said, almost mournfully as he went back to his meeting and he left you with his research, which would be filled with his name in hearts by the latter half of the hour, more than the former part.
#the band ghost#papa emeritus iv#copia#ghost#copia my beloved#papa emeritus iv x reader#ghost bc#cardinal copia#cardinal copia x reader#cardinal copia fanfic#projecting my curly hair onto the reader#but still tried to be vague#author majored in theology#also projecting my theology degree onto the reader#blessed the latter part more than the former part#book of job#I think biblical theology and ghost project coexist which is cool#Mariana writes
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hm even tho i'm against organized religion, i still appreciate religious symbolism & art. i would absolutely consider myself a spiritual woman. for me, i understand the pagan roots in christian art, so in a way it's appreciating how these ancient symbols have survived throughout space and time and the people who have fought to keep them alive. also it's pretty common for puerto ricans who practice espiritismo/mesa blanca/brujeria etc to use catholic saints in their practice because they had to adapt. they use the saints as masks for their old spirits, and i've found that a lot of pagan--and when i say pagan i mean spiritual practices of the "commoner" or "villager"-- practices have done this over time to "adapt" to religious colonialism while secretly practicing their old ways.
#idk i agree with moideater a lot of the criticism i see towards spirituality really gives off redditor ackshually ☝️🤓 vibes#i think a majority of people have religious trauma and therefore and super quick to write off anything spiritual#but i always see it done in a way thats so like.....rude and dismissive and nasty like omg#ive been studying occultism spiritualism shamanism divination theology ETC for like 10 years and its just all so fascinating!#but the main thing that ive noticed is that at a point in time WOMEN had spiritual authority and that doesn't really exist anymore#which is sad to me#i wish there was a resurgence of the goddess movement where women are actively reclaiming spirituality#because it IS absolutely possible to belive in spirituality logic and science all at the same time
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Any advice for handling race in reincarnation situations?
@swamp-spirit asked:
I'm writing a story that includes characters being reincarnated with completely different appearances. It's a fantasy world, and most of the characters are being reborn in the same region, but I still want a range of skin tones and features in the main cast (this is a comic). I have weird feelings about a character being 'reborn' with notably lighter or darker skin, but it also feels implausible and lazy for people to Just Happen to have a similar appearance when the theology of the story doesn't support it. Characters being reborn, and taking out things specific to real life groups, what are the major things you'd want an author to read up on or take into account? (Note: there is not a 'white' looking ethnic group in this story)
I don’t think it’s a problem as long as the skin tones don’t have any correlation to the circumstances that they’re reincarnated into.
- SK
It’s an interesting question, because in most religions where reincarnation/ transmigration of the soul is a feature of “what happens after death”, remembering one’s past life is not really part of the package deal. From what you’ve written, it’s not clear to me where the “memory” of these characters’ lives are held. Is there a 3rd person omniscient narrator telling the audience who each person is in their next life or do the characters themselves retain memory of past lives?
Assuming this is your typical reincarnation scenario where characters retain no memory of previous lives, it doesn’t much matter. The next life is the next life. Who a person was in their previous life and that identity, in theory, means nothing to them. This also means whatever personality, values, experiences and so on they had in their previous life no longer has meaning. They are, in effect, another person. However, you say you feel awkward about the above which makes me wonder if characters are remembering past lives, in which case…
If you study pretty much any major Asian religion where reincarnation is a part of the belief system, having no memory of the previous life is par for the course. In present-day religions like Jainism, Sikhism, Hinduism and Buddhism, only “special” (I’m using the term very casually here) entities like bodhisattvas, guru, arihant, buddhas, etc. usually get to keep their memories, while the rest of us (literal) mere mortals are supposed to lose our memories between lives as a part of Samsara. In Hinduism, even the gods often forget their previous lives, unless their reincarnation had a targeted purpose (Like being born to defeat an evil entity).
For most people, it is only through prayer, devotion, meditation and accumulated virtuous/ good/ compassionate deeds that humans are thought to deepen their understanding of the nature of the universe, and thus have the capacity to remember past lives (I’m, again, paraphrasing very loosely here from several years worth of university history+religion courses).
This is why the isekai genre in Japan is largely regarded as a “cheat”/ parody genre of fantasy. The protagonist, according to common Japanese cultural beliefs, which are quite heavily grounded in Buddhism, is definitively “cheating.” Not to get too ironically biblical, the character’s success often comes from the forbidden knowledge borne of their previous life.
Thus, there are two ways I look at your characters’ predicaments:
It’s not technically reincarnation - not by the way most major world religions define reincarnation, anyway. You have people who died now inhabiting other bodies, but that’s not the same as the transmigration of the soul. Also, you want to delve into the weirdness (and maybe heaviness) of “Wow, I went to sleep with one face and woke up with another.” There are certainly stories about people who have had dramatic cosmetic plastic surgery, weight loss surgery, HRT, etc. and then experienced the difference in the “before” versus “after” of how their altered physical appearance makes them feel, as well as how other people treat them. Even if the community your characters are born into now differs from their previous community (Which I guess would make this more a “I traveled between dimensions, and my appearance altered in the process” sci-fi adjacent affair), their new life will still have social environments with differing attitudes towards human physical appearance that will affect your characters’ emotional states.
Isekai it up and play with the ridiculous contradiction of having past lives and differing memories of one’s appearance. Isekai manga, manhwa and webtoons all make use of this trope heavily, especially with protagonists who experience a “glow-up” (Ex. Going from a Plain Jane OL to beautiful fantasy heroine) or, by contrast, protagonists who end up in very different forms from their original lives (Tensura, I’m a Spider, So What?). I’d be creative and go even more granular. Being able to tan after a lifetime of getting sunburns or no longer needing glasses might be nice, but what if the new body lacks the enzymes to process dairy or alcohol? What about dealing with differences in hair texture? Skincare routines? What about living life as a very tall person after being quite short or vice versa? What if you bumped into an acquaintance from your previous life, and one of you clearly got a more “coveted” reincarnation? See how far of an extreme you can take this idea until it feels too uncomfortable or ridiculous.
Marika.
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The Letters of Paul the Apostle to the Gentiles
Paul was a member of the Jewish Pharisees in the 1st century CE, who experienced a revelation of the resurrected Jesus Christ. In this vision, Jesus commissioned him to be the apostle (herald) to the Gentiles (non-Jews). After this experience, he traveled widely throughout the Roman Empire, spreading the "good news" that Jesus would soon return from heaven and usher in the kingdom of God on earth.
In the New Testament, we have 14 letters traditionally assigned to Paul, but the scholarly consensus now recognizes that of the 14, seven were written by Paul:
1 Thessalonians
Galatians
Philemon
Philippians
1 & 2 Corinthians
Romans
2 Thessalonians, Ephesians, and Colossians remain debatable among some scholars. The other major letters (1 &2 Timothy and Titus) were most likely written by disciples of Paul’s, using his name to carry authority. The letters that have survived range between 52 and 60 CE, and although we cannot pinpoint when Paul’s letters were collected, Clement, a bishop in Rome in the 90s CE, quoted from 1 Corinthians.
The Nature of the Letters
We understand these letters to be circumstantial. They were not written as systematic theology or as treatises on Christianity. The letters are responses to specific problems and circumstances as they arose in his communities. Paul spent time in cities establishing a group and then moved on. He received letters and sometimes reports with detailed questions or advice on how to settle conflicts. Unfortunately, when Paul’s letters were saved and circulated, the original letters from the communities were not preserved. The reconstruction of the original problems can only be determined by Paul’s responses.
Known as the most famous convert in history (from the Acts of the Apostles), Paul did not actually undergo conversion. Conversion assumes changing from one religious system to another, but at the time, there was no Christian system for him to convert to. Paul himself was ambiguous when it came to his self-identity:
To the Jews I became like a Jew... To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law) ... To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law) ... I have become all things to all people. (1 Corinthians 9:20-22)
In relation to what happened to Paul, it is better to follow what he says, in that he was 'called'. This is the tradition of the way in which the Prophets of Israel were called to their individual missions.
I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ. (Galatians 1:11-12).
Paul argued that this experience gave him as much authority as the original circle in Jerusalem (Peter, James, and John). Paul’s call to be the Apostle to the Gentiles was shocking because, as he freely admitted, he had previously "persecuted the church of God" (Galatians 1:13). He never really explained what he did, nor why he did it. It is in Paul’s letters that the name Jesus is combined with Christ, the Greek for the Hebrew messiah ("anointed one"). Understood as a title, "Jesus the Christ", it became common as a phrase that indicated his identity and function.
Continue reading...
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OKAY
I think we need to discuss something that I’ve literally never heard any other practitioners talk about but I think it’ll immediately clear up A LOT of confusion! This is obviously my own upg so take it with as much validity as you please.
When doing any kind of work with any kind of deity, you really need to understand the concepts of archetypes and syncretism.
Religion, faith, and mythology, it’s all a big mess. Our clumsy archaic human language and our tendency to destroy and distort information means that the ancient world is really, to our modern understanding, A LOT (and I mean a LOT) of hypothesizing.
We often use the same words to describe different concepts, mix up names, combine names, and misunderstand each other. Such is the nature of humanity.
Theology is always fluid. Different entities have different cultural associations, some major entities or characters are even shared among multiple groups of people. Syncretism means that groups of people develop their ideas with the influence of other groups of people, though shifted to make sense for their personal experience.
My favourite thing in the world is when different religions share stories- viewing history from totally different perspectives- Retelling the same events through the scope of their theology.
This is why we have archetypes. There are many goddesses of love and sex that are associated with the planet that is commonly known as Venus. Why these archetypes emerge in the way they do? That’s up for you to debate with yourself.
The question of whether Aphrodite is Astarte or Ishtar or Lucifer or Helel or Eosphoros or Hesperus is not a question that can be answered entirely objectively. It can never be proven and it can never be disproven. Because sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is definitely no, and sometimes it’s really hard to tell.
The way that we all experience the energy that is “Venus” is going to be different. If she definitely feels like the same energy as Astarte to you, then that could be the case. There’s no objective authority on reality or faith. There is no reason why the findings of 1000 year old magis are more legitimate than yours. Study, learn, experiment.
I like to imagine it similar to colors. We all agree that wavelengths between 620 to 750 nm are red. We have silly little cones in our eyes that work with our brains to turn information into color. But we all understand that there are thousands of shades of red, and some people can’t even see red. Do you see where I’m going? I hope this makes sense.
Because of the way that we interact with reality, there are as many Aphrodite as there are people who believed in Aphrodite- and this is true for every God (at least in my silly little opinion).
There are as many variations in her energy as there are variations of people who follow her.
I try to scope this around what Jophiel told me once. YHWH created him, sometimes. But not at the moment when I was talking to him. When I asked him if Lucifer was the Satan of Christianity he said “sometimes” as well. It depends. It all depends. That’s the beauty of this weird wacky thing that we do.
Anyways,
I don’t know how else to write this but to say some people aren’t compatible with every archetype lol. This is totally okay though, it’s not anyone’s fault! It’s just like … spiritual chemistry. Alchemy? Stay with me!
Nature has laws. If you try to push against these laws you will experience difficulty and suffering. ☹️
Nature creates certain compounds. Stable compounds thrive 🙂 and unstable compounds explode ☹️. Interactions create products and outputs. When two or more elements that are not compatible are introduced they may have a volatile reaction.
I will not claim to know how divinities operate. This is all just my silly billy pondering. But I do know for fact, that at least in my experience, certain entities that share the same address interact with different people in different ways- and some entities will only respond to you under a specific face. Some entities will share faces, and some won’t even respond to you at all.
I’ll use a couple personal examples for reference.
When I first started working with Prince Cerberus, I addressed him using his Goetic name Naberius, as recorded in the Lesser Key of Solomon. I used his sigil and addressed that name.
One of the first things that came through crystal clear was his request to not be called Naberius. He made it very clear to me that he wanted to he called Cerbere or Cerberus, or that I could make up a personal name, but never should I use Naberius. He did not give a reason but he was firm on it.
Now, does this mean that we all can’t use the name Naberius and that we should all blacklist the name? NO! and this doesn’t mean that anyone who works with Naberius is disrespecting Cerberus!!!
For whatever reasons, I don’t know why, my Naberius is Cerberus. I don’t know if Naberius and Cerberus are the same entity or not, I just know that when I think of Naberius I get forwarded to Cerbere. I’m still able to use Naberius’ sigil, but I always get Cerberus.
That might not be true for you. That might not even be logical. That’s just the way that my spirit interacts with that spirit.
I’ve been a long time admirer of Lord Hermes. I approached him and tried desperately to gain his favor, but he refused 💔💔. He made it pretty clear that it wasn’t going to happen through a few ways, and since then he’s repeatedly rejected me…
lol 🥲
I was confused about that for a while, until I started getting hints towards Lord Mercury.
I can’t explain why, I have no idea what the real reason behind this is, but I feel extremely compatible with Mercury, but not with Hermes, like at all. Their energy feels quite separate and different to me. My Mercury isn’t quick like silver, he’s actually quite slow and contemplative.
I was bummed to not be able to establish a “work” relationship with Hermes but it’s probably for the best. Mercury is an excellent teacher.
What I mean to say through all of this rambling is that these things are not concrete. My Astaroth is only Astarte sometimes. Sometimes they feel very similar, sometimes they feel very distinct.
It’s important to remember that the Gods are not one thing, but many things at once. The answers to these questions are all variable. Only you can find the answers for yourself.
If you read this far you’re a real one 🫡
#magick#witchcraft#occultism#pagan#demonology#paganism#witch community#witch aesthetic#witchblr#grimoire#deity witchcraft#deity work#luciferian witch#lucifer devotee#goetia#angelology#eclectic pagan#hellenic paganism#paganblr#hellenic pagan#pagan witch#pagan blog#deity worship
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do you happen to have any recs ie: books/readings on christian mysticism + theology? i've read a bit about catherine of siena for a history class in university and found her fascinating but i'm not quite sure where further to look as i am very much unfamiliar with the subject - ty !!!! <3
a strange quirk, you might say, of christianity is that we have mystical theology but we struggle to make practical sense of it. mysticism, especially when it presents in women, is often treated as dreaminess or romanticized rather than as authoritative theology (meister eckhart, augustine, and john of the cross, for instance, are regarded as authoritative in a very different way than catherine, hildegard, or teresa of avila, even though all of these women are doctors of the church and were regarded authoritatively in their lifetime). so i'll recommend some theologians who work within mysticism, but i earnestly think that the best way to learn about mysticism is by reading mystical texts themselves, my recommendations of which i'll list below.
bernard mcginn is arguably the foremost authority on christian mysticism. the varieties of vernacular mysticism, the crisis of mysticism, and his anthology the essential writings of christian mysticism is a very good primer with a wide variety of texts. caroline bynum walker is not a theologian but she's another major authority: holy feast and holy fast, jesus as mother, and wonderful blood are good books, but she's written a lot of wonderful papers as well: i especially like her reply to leo steinberg and women mystics and eucharistic devotion in the thirteenth century. michael sells is good too- a wonderful comparative religious theologian and i recommend his book mystical languages of unsaying.
in terms of mystics, simone weil's waiting for god and gravity and grace are indispensable; hildegard of bingen's scivias; teresa of avila's the interior castle, the way of perfection, and autobiography; marguerete porete's the mirror of simple souls; mechthild of magdeberg the flowing light of the godhead; mother maria skobtsova's essential writings; catherine of siena's dialogue; the book of margery kempe. you might also like the way of the cross by john of the cross and the work of meister eckhart. but i highly recommend getting mcginn's anthology- it was how i started off and is without a doubt the best way to begin getting a feel for mysticism.
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✒ Uranus placements, studying, and creativity
🦋 uranus in aries tend to be student leaders and lead or organise extracurriculars. can indicate those who implement changes in establishments. can also indicate self initiated change in study path.
🦋 uranus in taurus tend to have very neat desks and are prsctically organised in their studies. want to rearrange their work a lot. may often change their dorm around or organise books differently
🦋 uranus in gemini learn by socialising but may debate and challenge others about existing theories. enjoys online learning and new technology.
🦋 uranus in cancer may discover deep truths about themselves while studying. chosen field may indicate a personal or emotional cause. may also indicate a break from family tradition of study or career. liberal arts majors, fashion college etc.
🦋 uranus in leo may even more than aries lead student movements. seeks recognition in their chosen field. may be top of the class or well known in student body BUT can also indicate notoriority.
🦋 uranus in virgo can indicate frequent changes of a practical level such as changing major, house moves, college moves etc.
🦋 uranus in libra can indicate imbalance. conflict between majors. controversial theories and judgement from authorities. contested examination marks, last minute applications, and waiting lists.
🦋 uranus in scorpio indicates occult study OR other peoples money. economics, theology, politics, or study of mysticism, psychology, and sociology.
🦋 uranus in sagitarrius indicates spearheading of a new movement. may be early adopters or first to try a new course.
🦋 uranus in capricorn indicates rocky relationships with authority. may not be suited to traditional academia but may also thrive in challenging conventional paradigms.
🦋 uranus in aquarius favors the arts, may indicate dropping out OR unrelated careers and hobbies to their majors. encounter changes at conventional institutions frequently.
🦋 for uranus in pisces study can be emotionally turbulent. personal like cancer. can be phenomenally inventive in the arts. may develop a new subculture or form of poetry, writing, or visual art.
If you like this post, I have a similar post on pluto placements HERE with a creative/study vibe.
Also feel free to reblog and fill my ask box but please do not repost or take credit without asking! Thank you 💕
#dark academia#dark academic aesthetic#astrology#dark academism#astrology blog#astrologyblr#astroblr#uranus planet#uranus placements#uranus astrology#studyspo#studyblr#astro observations#astrology observations#astro community#all signs
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can you talk a bit more about weber (im refering to a post you made earlier today i think)? i know a bit about the protestant ethic theory but not really the historical context in which it was written nor how it's used today. thanks!
so, weber's argument is essentially that protestant (specifically calvinist and puritan) theology played a major causal role in the development of capitalism in northern europe following the reformation. his position was that protestant ethics, in contrast to catholicism, placed a high moral value on secular, everyday labour, but also discouraged the spending of one's wages on luxury goods, tithing to the church, or giving overmuch to charity. thus, protestants invested their money in business and commercial ventures instead, turning the generation of capital into a moral endeavour and venerating hard work and economic productivity as ways to ensure one's soul was saved (as the buying of indulgences was not an option for protestants).
this is a bad argument. at core it is idealist, subordinating an economic development to religious ideology. weber never explains how the actual, material economic changes he wants to talk about were effected by a set of ideas; he doesn't consider the possibility that the ideas themselves reflected in some way the material and economic context in which they were developed; he doesn't differentiate between protestantism as a causal factor in the development of capitalism, versus the possibility that capitalism and protestant conversion both resulted from some other factor or set of factors. <- these types of problems are endemic to 'history of ideas' aka 'intellectual history' because merely writing a history of the (learned, published) ideas circulating at a given time doesn't tell you jack about how and whether those ideas were actually implemented, how common people reacted to them or resisted them, what sorts of material circumstances the ideas themselves were formulated amidst, and so forth.
in the case of weber, it's very easy to poke holes in this supposed relationship between protestantism and capitalism. even in western europe alone, we could look at a country like france, which was quite catholic, never became predominantly or even significantly protestant, and yet also industrialised not long after, eg, the netherlands and england. we could also look at what historian michael kwass calls "court capitalism" in 18th-century france, which was a largely non-industrial form of capitalism that depended on the catholic king's central authority in order to ensure a return on investment. france at this time had a burgeoning luxury culture and a centralised, absolutist government that was closely entwined with the powerful catholic church—yet it also had economic development that is recognised as early capitalist, along with growing social and economic tensions between the nascent bourgeois and petit-bourgeois classes and the aristocracy. this is not even close to being the earliest example of capitalist or proto-capitalist economic development (some predates the reformation!), and again, this is within western europe alone—we could and should also point out that capitalism is not solely a european phenomenon and can and does coexist with other, radically different, religious ideology (i have problems with jack goody's work but this is something i think it can help elucidate).
weber argued that the 'spirit of capitalism' was no longer dependent on the protestant theology that had initially spawned it—but again, here we see issues with idealist methodologies in history. at what point, and how, does this 'spirit' become autonomous? what is it that has taken hold, if weber is not talking about the 'protestant ethic' itself and is also not interested in analysing the material changes that comprise capitalism except as effects of some underlying ideology? well, it's what he sees as a general shift toward 'rationalisation' and 'disenchantment' of the world, leading to an understanding of late 19th- and early 20th-century capitalism as a kind of spiritually unmoored servitude to mechanism and industry. this in turn relates back to weber's overall understanding of the legacy of the 'scientific revolution', which is another can of (bad) worms. there is a lot to say about these elements of weber's thought, but for starters the idea that europe was the progenitor of all 'scientific advancement', that it then simply disseminated such knowledge to the rest of the world (the apotheosis of the centre-periphery model, lmao), and that europe has become 'disenchanted', ie irreligious, as a result of such scientific advancement... is just patently bad analysis. it's eurocentric, chauvinistic, and simply demonstrably untrue in like twelve different ways.
anyway, when i see conservatives and reactionaries cite weber, i'm not surprised. his arguments are conservative (his entire intellectual paradigm in this text was part of his critique of marx and the premises of materialist / contextualist history). but when i see ostensible leftists doing it, often as some kind of dunk on protestantism (or christianity more generally, which is not even a good reading of weber's own understanding of catholicism), it's more irritating to me. i am not interested in 'leftisms' that are not materialist. weber's analysis is a bad explanation of how and why capitalism took hold; it doesn't even work for the limited northern european case studies he starts with because, again, idealist history fundamentally fails to explain how ideology itself creates material change. like, "some guy writes something down -> ??? -> everyone just agrees with him -> ??? -> stuff happens somehow" is not a good explanation of any phenomenon, lmao. if we are stuck on the idea that capitalism, a set of economic phenomena and real relations of production, is the result of ideology, then we will also be stuck trying to 'combat' capitalism on the ideological level. it's unserious and counterproductive. weber's analysis has retained an outsize position in the sociological historiography because it's an attractively simplistic, top-down, idealist explanation of both capitalism and protestantism that makes centuries worth of material changes to production forms into a kind of ideological coup ushering in an age of 'rationalism'. this is just not a text that tells us, leftists, anything politically useful. at best it is an explication of the internal psychological logics of (some) forms of protestantism in (some) places and contexts.
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Judas Iscariot: The Queer Iconoclast's Icon
With queer acceptance on the rise (at least compared to past decades), the experience of coming out of the closet has changed significantly. Coming out is often an occasion that calls for celebration, Pride is a corporate parade celebrated in every state with at least one major city. But for many queer people, particularly in the evangelical American south, coming out remains a traumatic ordeal (this is especially true for transgender youth). Coming out as queer means coming out as a liar and a traitor to everything you were raised to uphold. Within evangelical theology, one cannot embrace queer identity and be a Christian. One cannot belong in their community if one is not a Christian. To embrace your own queerness you must become an apostate in their eyes. To become an apostate is to be effectively excommunicated. With this experience in mind, it is not surprising that many queer people from Christian backgrounds have embraced the figure of Judas Iscariot.
An icon is an image of religious or political significance, and an iconoclast is someone who shatters an icon. For the purposes of this post, I am going to focus on icons representing saints and martyrs. The image and the person represented are both referred to as icons. The person depicted in the icon is an aspirational figure that one is meant to be inspired to emulate, a shorthand representation of a person at their idealized best. (This is not necessarily a bad thing, nearly every culture has icons of their own. Familiar queer icons include the likes of Marsha P. Johnson, Leslie Feinberg, and Sappho of Lesbos.) However, being upheld as an icon is not the same as being known as a full person. The icon is an inherently incomplete representation and can never be a complete, nuanced person.
A common experience among queer people, particularly in religious communities, is feeling the need to hide a part of themselves. But no matter how it manifests, queerness is not easy to hide and it only gets more painful over time. Being in the closet is more than simply neglecting to mention a preference. To be in the closet, first a closet must be built. Walls need to be constructed to protect ourselves from people who love us, and the most readily available materials are lies, secrecy, and deceit. While our real selves hide behind the constructed identity, the person we present as is one that meets the hegemonic expectations of cisgender heteronormativity, or at the very least respectable abstinence. The icon is a pretty picture, and we are rewarded with acceptance, but the fear of being outed is a prison. The only way to escape is to shatter that icon.
Very little is known about Judas Iscariot within biblical canon. He seems to have been largely erased from the narrative outside of his famous betrayal kiss. The authors of the gospels did not see his experiences as relevant to the story, despite the magnitude of his role. To them he was nothing outside of a traitor. In popular culture his name is synonymous with betrayal, and his portrayal in biblical art is unflattering at best. Judas’s erasure is similar to what many queer people who are disowned by their family experience. Their picture is taken down from the wall and Judas’s story is unwritten. The life and love they shared with their family, everything about them that was inoffensive before is irrelevant. Judas is erased and so are they. All that remains is his icon, an image of a cold, heartless man who hated God and betrayed an innocent man.
One can easily speculate about Judas. It seems unlikely that he spent years in Jesus’s ministry scowling in the shadows and plotting his demise. He could not have truly betrayed Jesus if Jesus did not trust and love him. Some apocryphal literature suggests that Jesus was closer to him than the other disciples and personally asked him to turn him in so that his mission could be completed. In this interpretation, Judas’s betrayal is an act of sacrifice and devotion, sealed with a kiss. And people think he deserved to suffer in hell forever for it. Modern retellings are often more sympathetic to Judas. Many are told by secular artists (Jesus Christ Superstar, The Last Temptation of the Christ, Judas (Boom! Comics)), but notably The Chosen, which is created by an evangelical studio, has taken humanizing approach to his character. Through this media he has been given a new image and become a completely different icon.
A queer relationship with spirituality and religion is often complex and deeply painful. Progressive theology can be healing and while I am not Christian myself I do enjoy engaging with it, but it doesn’t change the fact that this year at Pride, three different people told me that I deserve to burn in hell as they held a Bible in the air. I went to a Christian college and I had friends who were afraid of losing their scholarships if they were outed. I attended a protest against banning books at my local library and was called a groomer to my face. These are people that shop at the same grocery stores that I do and ask me what church I attend when I am in line at McDonald’s. One man openly sneered and turned away when I answered I was attending an Episcopalian church at the time. The people around me have made it abundantly clear that queer people are not welcome in their heaven. If Judas is in hell, he will find good company.
#jesus christ superstar#judas iscariot#evangelical christianity#lgbt#queer#religious trauma#exvangelical#agnostic#homophobia#lgbtq issues#the chosen#the chosen tv series
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✧xingqiu's victims friends✧
THIS SERIES IS CANCELLED: announcement about its cancellation
THE SERIES REVAMP IS HERE
✧xingqiu✧-a creative writing major with a minor in literature, second born son of the CEO of Feiyun Corp. discovered his love and reading and writing at a young age. when he was 10 he wrote a fanfic as a joke but to his surprise it went viral. he forgot the account's password so he never got around to deleting it. comes off as an absolute gentleman, but he's actually a bit of a gremlin.
"me? putting chili powder into chongyun's food? what baseless accusations are these-okay fine, i did, but how else is he supposed to survive living with xiangling?-"
✧xiangling✧-attends a culinary school nearby teyvat university. she does the cooking but not cleaning for all her roommates. she has a pet dog named guoba, and her father owns a famous restaurant. she's known for her weird sounding recipes, but they actually taste really good (except for the slime smoothies, that's an acquired taste)
"so we have jueyun chilis, fowl meat, now we just need some some slime secretations!"
✧chongyun✧-mythological studies major with a minor in theology. he went through a ghost hunting phase when he was younger, which turned into an interest in mythology and folklore as he got older. he met xingqiu in elementary school and they've been friends ever since (even though xingqiu constanly tries to sneak him spicy food)
"i know for a fact that xingqiu put jueyun chilis in that"
✧yanfei✧-a student at a law school nearby xiangling's culinary school. she's great at winning arguments/debates, and already has tons of internship offers from many different law firms. she has tons of rules/laws memorized just in case, and can apply them to any situation
"Ah, this weather's got me in the mood for reciting some laws. Let's see... "Commercial Law of Liyue," Chapter 27, Section 6, Article 3 stipulates that— Wait, what was it...? Oh my goodness, I've completely forgotten! What is wrong with me today...?"
✧hu tao✧-forensics science major, and her family owns a funeral parlor (frequently advertises it, telling people that she can hook them up with a free coffin). a bit eccentric, but she means well. she's also a horror and true crime fanatic (criminal minds, forensic files etc.)
"YOU! YES YOU! what if i told you, that if you plan with wangsheng funeral parlor today you can get a discount on your future coffin!"
✧gaming✧-dance major, and a part time uber driver and the designated driver for every outing with his friends. he's the type of driver that talks a ton to his passenger, but he'll shut up if needed. most of his passengers mispronounce his name upon pick up, and he's very used to jokes about his name.
"hi i'll be your driver for today-hm? yes, my name is actually gaming"
additional notes:
-everyone is in their sophmore (second year) of university (19-20)
-everyone in xingqiu's friend group lives off campus together
-yanfei doesn't attend teyvat university, she is in her second year of law school at oratrice mecanique d'analyse cardinale
-xiangling attends a culinary school nearby oratrice and teyvat university
-xingqiu's a wattpad author. fight me
✧Going off Script✧
synopsis:
Xingqiu's next major project requires him to write a romantic short story, the only problem is that he has zero romantic experience. meanwhile, you just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you need to show him that you're 100% over him, the only problem is that there's no way you can get an actual boyfriend that quickly. clearly, the solution to both of your issues is to fake date each other. all you need to do is stick to the script
spoiler alert: you go off script and end up falling for him
masterlist
(CLOSED) taglist: @freyao7
#xingqiu x reader#xingqiu#chongyun#xiangling#yanfei#hu tao#gaming#gaming genshin#university au#smau#enhypen smau#university smau#genshin smau#genshin au#genshin impact#fanfiction#fanfic#romance
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A growing Christian supremacist movement that labels its perceived enemies as “demonic” and enjoys close ties to major Republican figures is “the greatest threat to American democracy you’ve never heard of,” according to a new report from the Southern Poverty Law Center.
The SPLC, a civil rights organization that monitors extremist groups, released its “Year In Hate And Extremism 2023” report on Tuesday. A significant portion of the report, which tracked burgeoning anti-democratic and neo-fascist movements and actors across America, is devoted to the New Apostolic Reformation, “a new and powerful Christian supremacy movement that is attempting to transform culture and politics in the U.S. and countries across the world into a grim authoritarianism.”
Emerging out of the charismatic evangelical tradition, the NAR adheres to a form of Christian dominionism, meaning its parishioners believe it’s their divine duty to seize control of every political and cultural institution in America, transforming them according to a fundamentalist interpretation of scripture.
NAR adherents also believe in the existence of modern-day “apostles” and “prophets” — church leaders endowed by God with supernatural abilities, including the power to heal. In 2022, a handful of these “apostles,” the report notes, issued what they called the Watchman Decree, an anti-democratic document envisioning the end of a pluralistic society in America.
The apostles claimed they had been given “legal power and authority from Heaven” and are “God’s ambassadors and spokespeople over the earth,” who “are equipped and delegated by Him to destroy every attempted advance of the enemy.”
And who’s the enemy? Basically anyone who does not adhere to NAR beliefs. NAR adherents see their critics as being literally controlled by the devil.
“There are claims that whole neighborhoods, cities, even nations are under the sway of the demonic,” the report states. “Other religions, such as Islam, are also said to be demonically influenced. One cannot compromise with evil, and so if Democrats, liberals, LGBTQ+ people, and others are seen as demonic, political compromise — the heart of democratic life — becomes difficult if not impossible.”
This rhetoric has become increasingly widespread among Republican lawmakers, including former President Donald Trump, who last year referred to Marxists and atheists as “evil demonic forces that want to destroy our country.”
That Trump would use NAR-inspired rhetoric is unsurprising considering his relationship with Paula White-Cain, an NAR figure who delivered the invocation at Trump’s inauguration in 2017 and at the kickoff of his 2020 reelection campaign, as noted by Paul Rosenberg in Salon. White-Cain also delivered the invocation at Trump’s Jan. 6, 2021, “Stop the Steal” rally in Washington, D.C. — the event that eventually became the insurrection at the Capitol.
The attack on the Capitol was largely inspired, the report suggests, by NAR’s theology of dominionism. “NAR prayer groups were mobilized at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, as well as supporting prayer teams all over the country, to exorcise the demonic influence over the Capitol that adherents said was keeping Trump from his rightful, prophesized second term,” the report states.
Major Republican figures took part in such events on or around the day of the attack. Mike Johnson, who is now the speaker of the House, joined the NAR’s “Global Prayer for Election Integrity,” which called for Trump’s reinstatement as president, in the weeks leading up to the attack on the Capitol. Johnson has also stated that Jim Garlow, an NAR leader, has had a “profound influence” on his life.
Ultimately, the SPLC report is an attempt to ring the alarm bells about the NAR, ”the greatest threat to U.S. democracy that you have never heard of.
“It is already a powerful, wealthy and influential movement and composes a highly influential block of one of the two main political parties in the country,” the report continues. “So few people have heard of NAR that it is possible that, without resistance in our local communities, dominionism might win without ever having been truly opposed.”
The SPLC’s report, according to a press release, also documents 595 hate groups and 835 antigovernment extremist groups in America, “including a growing wave of white nationalism increasingly motivated by theocratic beliefs and conspiracy theories.”
“With a historic election just months away, this year, more than any other, we must act to preserve our democracy,” Margaret Huang, president and CEO of the Southern Poverty Law Center and SPLC Action Fund, said in a statement. “That will require us to directly address the danger of hate and extremism from our schools to our statehouses. Our report exposes these far-right extremists and serves as a tool for advocates and communities working to counter disinformation, false conspiracies and threats to voters and election workers.”
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I want to talk about some books I've read recently, "Penric's Travels" and "Penric's Labor" by Lois McMaster Bujold.
First, that author is always a treat. When I saw those books by her at the library, ones I hadn't read before, I didn't even bother to check the back cover for their description; I knew I'd enjoy them, simply based on the author. And I was correct. (Also it turns out that the back cover didn't really give any useful information about the stories therein, so it wouldn't have mattered.)
I don't know how to best describe what I like about how she writes, but I'll try. Her stuff is very character-driven, with… it's not right to say "low stakes", because the stakes are very high indeed when you care about the characters things might happen to, but it doesn't have the super-high stakes you normally see in fantasy or science fiction. The characters and the relationships feel mature; the three main couples I can most remember offhand, from three different series set in three different 'verses, one half of the couple had been a widow/er, and the other half had had previous relationships of their own. (The Vorkosigan saga does admittedly start with a "young male protagonist", but it follows him as he matures.) And she's very adept at worldbuilding, which is honestly my favourite thing in SFF. If this sounds like the kind of thing you want to read, I recommend checking out her work.
Now, the specific books I mentioned at the start. They're more properly collections of three novellas each, written so they could be read in any order; which is good, because my library didn't have on the shelf the book which collected the earlier ones. Each novella is like 100-200 pages long, which might be a benefit over a novel-length story because it provides an obvious stopping point with a resolution for what's happened. Those books also include a 'reading order' at the end, for pretty much everything the author has ever written; I of course hadn't followed that, having gone by the time-honoured method of "whichever book I could get my paws on first", but if that's not how you do things, that guide might be of interest to you.
Finally, the reason I wanted to talk about these books (stories, more properly) specifically, and it's that the magic system is almost everything I've ever wanted in fiction; and it's so perfectly worked in with the religion/theology of that world, which itself is done way better than I normally see in fantasy. (Which, I suppose I hadn't mentioned it earlier; these stories are in the fantasy genre.) There is a REASON why somebody can't kill using magic; or, to be more accurate, they can do it, once. There's magical healing which isn't just "it's magic", but requires knowing what you're doing with each structure, and sometimes things just can't be healed. And there's the converse as well, using that same "healing magic" offensively; but with greater creativity than "burst someone's heart", since it must not be used to kill; the titular character's main method of disabling an assailant is "temporarily shut down the relevant nerves, very carefully". There's a cost for magic, in both "disorder" and "friction". It's just really good.
I won't try to give a comprehensive list of content warnings. However, I will say that if you're sensitive to "healthcare worker's burnout", you should avoid the novella "The Physicians of Vilnoc" entirely, as that's a major element in that story. (Also in the main character's backstory, but I don't know if there's a story which goes into depth with that.)
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whats the difference between the groups of Muslims? what are they fighting about.
In short, there are three major denominations of Islam, and various sub-branches, but I won't go into the latter.
Sunni, literally standing for those who follow the traditions of the Prophet, are Muslims who believe that politically, the Prophet's companions, Abu Bakr, Umar and Uthman were successors of the prophet, and the ones to establish the Rashidun Caliphate. Sunni Muslims base most of their traditions on various companions of the Prophet. The concept of Adalat al-Sahaba maintains that any companion that was present during the Prophet's time is a reliable person in terms of how they narrate traditions, thus establishing a multitude of hadiths from them. Although Sunni Islam (as a separate branch) didn't exist at that time, it became the standardized version of Islam when the Shi'as and Khawarijs rebelled against the Umayyads and the Abbasids, seeing the birth of the four schools of Sunni Islamic jurisprudence to counter their theological principles.
Shi'a, literally partisans of Ali, hold that through traditions and scriptural basis, Ali, the brother in law to the Prophet had chosen him to be the leader of the Muslims upon the latter's death, as a result of various events that took place, the Prophet's household were treated unfairly and the repercussions of these events subsequently led to their martyrdom, which is an essential pillar of Shi'a Islam. Due to their rejection of Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and various other companions, they do not accept their chains of narrations in hadiths. Shi'as ultimately reject the concept of Adalat al-Sahaba, because traditions can not be accepted from unjust people. Most Shi'a Muslims (Twelver and Ismailis) put extreme emphasis on the Prophet's family and the line of Imamate through Ali and the Prophet's daughter, Fatimah, believing that only the Imams have the right to interpret the Qur'an in its esoteric and exoteric nature due to their infallibility, thus giving them absolute authority over the Muslims. Ali's tenure as the caliph saw much turmoil and ultimately led to his martyrdom. The subsequent death of Ali marked the end of the Rasidhun caliphate and transitioned into a monarchy with many of the Shi'as experiencing centuries of oppression.
Ibadism, a branch of Islam stemming from an extremist group called the Khawarij, they are a group of Muslims who did not agree with Ali's agreement to engage in arbitration with an opposing force that waged war against him over the caliphate. This led to a group of Muslims in Ali's army to defect, believing that judgment belongs to God alone, thus separating themselves from the rest of the Muslims. This group is known for their extremist approach and theology of Islam, but was quickly surpressed as they harassed innocent Muslims. The only remnants of the Khawarijs are the Ibadis and are relatively peaceful, albeit with some strict religious beliefs. They have their own collection of hadiths, but much of it is very close to the Sunnis corpus of traditions. They make up the majority of Muslims in Oman.
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Part 2: The memories you two had burnt into ash as you threw away the remains of the relationship you had with Jungkook. Jungkook seemed to hate Jimin but everything else about him remained painfully similar. You, on the other hand, grew a mask that dug into your skin so horrendously that no one could recognize you. Neither one of you remembered the other and yet fate seemed to have other plans.
>>Pairing: Jeon Jungkook (dom) x fem!reader (sub) | fuckboy!jk x witch!reader
>>Word Count: 7.7k
>>Genre: Mini Series / Smut & Angst
>>Warnings/Kinks: Arguments, breast play, creampie, fingering, oral (receiving), praise, unprotected sex, witchcraft
>>Author’s Note: Hi guys! It’s been a pretty rough year for me so far and i’m so sorry i’ve been inactive for so long. Life really got in the way but i’m hoping to get back into it slowly. I’ll be working on requests soon and thank you for supporting me! I hope you enjoy this long overdue second part to slow burn and if you enjoy my writing i would really appreciate a tip. Woman in STEM struggling here fr :( Love you guys!
Memories of you swarmed his mind and Jungkook desperately tried to hold onto you as your body turned into ash, flying away from his grasp. Every kiss, every night together, and every study session gone like the wax of the candle you had burnt. He could remember the event but never who it was with.
It was similar for you, like someone had reached their hand inside your skull to rip out every precious memory you had of him. The pain still somehow lingered even after you had no idea who you were mourning over and witchcraft became a cause of pain to you. Your entire personality had changed overnight. Even Taehyung could only see glimpses of your past self.
Everyone around you remembered what you and Jungkook shared but they just assumed you two broke it off and moved on. Taehyung remained friends with Jungkook but you two never seemed to cross paths.
“Tae, do you know where my lab report papers went?”, you yelled from your bedroom, shoving papers all over the floor as you searched for the damn thing you had been working on for days. The dark circles underneath your eyes were evident from that work. Typically, you’d just pull up the papers on your laptop and print them out again but the papers you were looking for had the peer edits on them you needed to edit it.
“No clue. Maybe ask Namjoon if he has them. You’ve been pretty forgetful lately so maybe you left them the last time you two studied together”, Tae suggested, leaning against the frame of your bedroom door as he watched you. He was eating one of the cookies you had bought the other day when you were stocking up on comfort foods. Midterms were kicking your ass, especially after switching your major to biology.
Taehyung tried to convince you that you never liked those terribly hard advanced math and science classes but you insisted it was a much more practical major in comparison to your theology one. Besides, you couldn’t even stomach the idea of continuing learning religion after your own had hurt you so much.
“Can you take a second to breathe? Damn woman”, Tae huffed, shoving the last bit of cookie into his mouth and swallowing it in what looks to be a single chew before he’s walking over to you. There’s sweat dripping down your forehead and your hands are shaking in sheer panic. He’s never seen you so miserable before.
“Tae, I need to get this done. If I don’t find those damn papers I’m done for”, even you were aware you sounded more than a little dramatic but it did feel like the end of the world. Tae just nodded and rubbed your shoulders, trying to get even a smidge of the worked up tension out of you.
“Okay okay. I’ll call Namjoon and if he doesn’t know where it is then I’ll help you look for it”, you finally nodded and sat down on your bed, waiting for Tae to call your friend. His phone barely rang once before Namjoon picked up, his voice on speaker so that you could listen to it.
“Hey Nam, do you happen to have Bae’s lab report? She’s freaking out and needs it tonight”, you had no idea where Tae got the idea of Bae for your nickname as it was a recent development. He said you were the “Bae to his Tae” which you said was stupid but he just waved you off and it stuck.
“Oh, let me look. Maybe I accidentally grabbed it”, you could hear Namjoon shuffling through his backpack. Your hands were clasped so tightly together that your fingers were turning red.
“Here it is! I’ll bring it right over. Sorry about that”, you let out the loudest sigh of relief you’ve ever had. Tae laughed and thanked Namjoon before hanging up. He looked at you and then around your room, still disappointed at how barren it looked without all your candles, crystals, and collectibles. They were pretty and brightened the room up.
Now it was just a dull white room with a dull black bed and desk. No color.
“See? You need to stop freaking out. It’s bad for you”, Tae ruffled your hair and his boxy grin filled up your view. You despised that grin. Not because it wasn’t cute because it was. It’s because that grin held so much mischief and trouble behind it.
“Stop that”, you pushed him away with your hand on his forehead and he stumbled backwards.
“What? I didn’t do anything”, he huffed, crossing his arms like a toddler having a temper tantrum.
“Kim Taehyung. I’m your best friend and I know that grin well”, you glared at him, crossing your arms back as if you were scolding him.
“I was just thinking that after you were done with your report thingy we could go clubbing”, he suggested, puppy dog eyes already at the ready. You quickly averted your gaze.
“Tae, I can’t. I have so many things to do. Midterm week, remember?”, Tae put both of his hands on each of your cheeks and squished them together, making you look at him.
“Sureee but it’s one night. Come on”, Tae nudges you with his shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows playfully to attempt to loosen you up. You finally sighed and nodded your head.
“Help me edit this paper and I’ll go with you”, he nods enthusiastically and grabs the papers out of your hands, running to your desk to begin helping you edit. You couldn’t help but laugh and soon enough the night came.
Jungkook showed up to the club with yet another bruise purpling his cheek, replacing the one that had just freshly healed. Yet another fight to add to the list Jimin had made up in his mind. The lit cigarette in Jungkook’s hand was something he never imagined to see considering how important his ex-friend had considered his health before.
Jimin watched as Jungkook settled into one of the seats, elbows on his knees as he took a puff from the cigarette. He took a deep inhale of it, let it settle into his chest, and then blew it out. He had new tats all up his right arm, an eyebrow piercing, and a lip piercing. If Jimin was still his friend then he’d tell him how proud he was.
Jimin finally looked away when Jungkook finished smoking, throwing the cigarette to the ground and stepping on it with his black boots. The fire went out and he picked it up to put in the trash next to the seat he was in. He looked completely different and acted so differently.
A woman seemed to notice those differences too as she approached Jungkook in a red dress that was skin tight, showing off every curve. She quite literally fell into his lap, arms wrapping around his neck as if they had known each other for years. Like this was instinct.
Soon enough, they were making out on the couch. Jungkook’s big tattooed hands holding her face as she started to grind against his thigh. It was so inappropriate that you had to avert your eyes as soon as you saw it.
“Ew, Tae I already want to leave”, you were going to cut off your best friend’s circulation if you kept up the tight grip you had on his arm. It was like you thought he was going to disappear any moment.
“Bae, you can let go of my arm now. No one is going to eat you alive”, Tae laughed and you finally loosened your grip when you noticed his skin was turning red. Taehyung didn’t even question the fact that you didn’t bring up Jungkook. He just assumed seeing him makeout with someone else was too much to talk about.
“Whatever. Can we dance now?”, you weren’t a total debbie downer and Tae knew that as he guided you to the dance floor, immediately starting to dance along with you. The rose quartz necklace you always wore bounced against your chest as you swayed and jumped along with the music. It was the first time in ages that Taehyung could say you looked happy.
He wasn’t the only one to notice.
From his spot on the couch, Jungkook couldn’t keep his eyes off that very same necklace. His hands were on the woman on his lap but his eyes were on you. Something seemed to keep his gaze trapped as he watched the sweat go down your face as your eyes closed. You were stunning and felt so familiar but he couldn’t place why his body called for you.
There was a woman just as beautiful on his lap currently, ready to abide by his every wish and command and, yet, he wanted you. His head tilted as he tried to find a reason for it until finally the woman kissing his neck realized his hands had stopped moving along her thighs.
“Hey, what are you looking at?”, she asked, getting off of him to stand in front of him, hands placed firmly on her hips.
“Sorry sweetheart, I think I’ve changed my mind”, he gave a half-hearted smile and she scoffed before walking away, looking for another man to seduce for the night. He couldn’t blame her. Sex was fun.
“Tae, don’t you dare leave me”, by the time you had opened your eyes to reality, you noticed that your best friend was dancing with another girl. He gave an innocent boxy grin to you and you knew you were doomed for a lonely night on the dance floor. You shook your head but waved him along and he went to dance with her, hands placed on her hips.
You knew it was bound to happen considering this is what always happens when Tae takes you clubbing.
You were about to walk away to the bar when you felt someone close to your back, stopping you in your tracks before the person tapped your shoulder. You turned around to see the guy from the couch towering over you. Now that you were closer to him, you could see the tattoos crawling up his arm. From the brief look you had, you could make out an eye, some words, and multiple shapes on his hands.
“Can I help you?”, you raised an eyebrow, immediately crossing your arms to look more guarded. You had to stop the little habit you had developed where you death gripped the necklace around your neck when you were anxious. The gaze of the man in front of you had made you feel small and it was unwelcomed.
“I was wondering if you were free tonight, princess”, something crawled up your spine when he said princess.
“Sorry, I don’t do that”, you shook your head, knowing he just wanted to have sex with you. You had to admit that he was attractive but you knew your worth despite how desperate you were for some affection. Being a woman in STEM was rough for sure.
“Aw, what a pity. That’s okay. I just want you to know you’re gorgeous”, he smiled and your heart skipped a beat, your arms involuntarily falling to your side. He had two bandages on his forehead, covering what looked to be a massive scar. The bruise on his cheek didn’t help hide his devilish demeanor either but yet his eyes screamed playful and innocent like an angel. He’s definitely dangerous and you shouldn’t be near him.
He was about to turn around and your brain screamed at you not to but your hand seemed to grab his arm before you could convince yourself otherwise. It felt like hands were gripping your body, holding you in place as he spun back around to look at you again. It was such a foreign feeling to not have control over yourself and you almost thought of a supernatural reason before you shut that down.
“What’s your name?”, you looked up at him, still holding onto his arm. He smirked and leaned down so you could hear him better over the blasting music, coming face to face with you.
“Jungkook”, he gently removed your hand from his arm and kissed it, raising an eyebrow as you repeated the name in what looked like a trance.
“Jungkook. Okay”, you nodded and he chuckled, looking down at your lips and he bit his own. Jungkook looked like it was ripping him apart not to touch you.
“Oh, hey Jungkook”, you felt the arm of your best friend land on your shoulders before you heard him. No girl in sight with him and you would have to remember to ask him what happened with her.
“Hey Taehyung, what brings you here?”, Jungkook looks irritated that he was interrupted but smiles at your friend nonetheless. You were beyond confused on how the two knew each other.
“___ needed a night out, so I brought her here”, Taehyung gestured with his head down to you and Jungkook looked down at you again.
“Yeah, and we were just leaving”, you smiled at Jungkook and grabbed Tae’s hands to drag him out of the club. If you stayed under that man’s hungry gaze any longer then you might’ve ripped his clothes off instead.
“You literally introduced us to each other, Bae”, Taehyung rubbed his eyes, obviously too sleepy to deal with your shit. It was the morning after you two had gone clubbing and your best friend was half asleep at your kitchen table. He was waiting for breakfast, eyes half closed as he leaned his chin against his hand.
“But I’m telling you I don’t know him”, of course you had to ask about Jungkook considering he was the most handsome man you had ever seen. Bruises and all.
“Well, I’m telling you you do. You two were disgustingly in love at one point”, Taehyung fake vomited and got up to take the spatula from you. Obviously he was just joking with you cause you had no recollection of the tattooed stranger. But, as you watched Tae sleepily flip the pancakes, you wondered why you did find him so familiar.
“Whatever you say. I have to go to the chem lab now”, you laughed and slung your backpack over your back. Taehyung turned to look at you and sighed before flicking the rose quartz around your neck, causing it to sway.
“Where do you think the necklace came from? It certainly didn’t just randomly manifest on your doorstep”, he turned back to the stove and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You didn’t have time to process what he said before you were out the door heading to your lab. You couldn’t afford to be late over a man you barely know.
Lab seemed the same as usual. You grabbed the safety goggles you had to wear every time before you walked over to your table, setting up your laptop, a calculator, and some paper in case you had to show work. Time passed by as you waited for the class to start and your lab partner never showed up.
Your TA came over and raised an eyebrow to which you responded with a simple shrug. You really didn’t want to have to do this lab alone.
“Jungkook, since your partner also isn’t here then you can partner with ___ today”, your TA called out to a man on the other side of the room. Your jaw almost dropped when it was the same Jungkook from the club that stepped out from behind another table and walked over. He somehow even pulled off the goofy looking safety goggles.
“Long time no see ___”, Jungkook chuckled, getting some gloves out of the box set up at your table. He rolled up the sleeves of his sweater, revealing the ink that you had briefly scanned over the night prior. Talk about mouthwatering.
“Yeah, guess fate really does exist”, you pull the gloves onto your hands before you start looking over the instructions for the lab. You were trying so hard to ignore the stare that was obviously coming from your lab partner.
“Are you going to start the experiment or just stare at me the whole time?”, one thing you were not going to play with is your grade.
“Not sure. Are you going to give me your number?”, he raised an eyebrow at you, obviously not kidding. How annoying.
“Seriously? Just do the damn work”, you huffed in annoyance. You already had a massive headache and this playboy was not making it any better.
“Taehyung said you needed to destress. I can help with that”, he suggested and you couldn’t help but scoff as you poured the solution into the well.
“Really? Cause, at the moment, you’re just causing more of it”, you shook your head and shoved the instructions in his direction, “turn on the computer”. He did as you asked as slow as possible just to irritate you.
“That could change if you give me your number”, you could tell he would’ve backed down if you told him to but you didn’t know if you wanted him to.
“Fine”, you sighed and held your hand out. Jungkook grinned and placed his phone into your hand, watching as you reluctantly put your number in there.
“Sweet, now watch me finish this in thirty minutes tops, sourpuss”, he confidently said once he had his phone back and you shook your head as another chill went up your spine. It was like a ghost’s finger was tracing it.
“Bet”, you stated before you solely focused on the experiment.
Jungkook was like an irritating candle that wouldn’t go out. You kept trying to extinguish that flame he seemed to have for you with no luck. The wick kept relighting itself and it seemed he wouldn’t give up on you. You couldn’t tell if you were just his next sex target or if he genuinely wanted to know you. Probably the former.
It finally got to the point that you resorted back to your tarot cards, something that you swore you’d never use again. You’d only do it once for some clarity and you’d throw the damn things away.
As you shuffled the deck, you felt some of your stress naturally melt away. You pictured Jungkook in your head as you shuffled them, waiting for some cards to fly out. You expected it to naturally take a while since you haven’t used the cards but three cards immediately fell out of the stack.
You laid them out and put the other cards to the side. What stared back at you was the lovers reversed, the high priestess reversed, and the wheel of fortune. You scratched your head as you looked at them, wondering why those were the ones to fall out. It’s like your brain was clouded as you tried to place them together.
The lovers reversed was for the loss of a lover that you can’t seem to remember and the high priestess reversed is the loss of an inner voice which is likely your connection to your religion. At least one makes sense. But, as you stare at the wheel of fortune, you’re baffled even more. Fate.
It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? You and Jungkook had just talked about fate in your lab the other day.
“Oh, fuck you. Just confusing me more. What do the lovers reversed have to do with him?”, you rested your forehead against the table as another throbbing headache started to form. You couldn’t tell if it was from the Jungkook situation, the lack of sleep, water, and food, or stress.
You have an inkling that you gave up witchcraft for a reason tied to that lovers card but you didn’t want to cause the headache to worsen by thinking about it.
“Any leads there detective?”, you stood straight up just to see Namjoon standing in your doorway. His eyes scanned the cards spread out on your desk and he almost smiled before you quickly started putting them away.
“Not really. I got the lovers reversed and I have no idea why”, Namjoon didn’t really know the meaning of the card but if he did then he would definitely have the answer to why you got it.
“You’ll figure it out. I’m sure”, he smiled half-heartedly as he leaned against the door frame. He and Taehyung were about to work together on Namjoon’s latest newspaper article.
“Thanks, Nam”, you smiled at him before you grabbed your bag and stood up from your desk chair.
“Where are you heading?”, Namjoon tilted his head, moving out of your way as you left your bedroom.
“To the library. I’m going to do some investigating”, you smiled at him before leaving the apartment, closing the door behind you. You could only hope that he and Tae wouldn’t destroy the place while you were gone.
The walk to the library always felt weird to you, your feet dragging behind you as if the world didn’t want you to go. You couldn’t really listen to that instinct though considering you couldn’t really focus in your room on schoolwork. Plus, the library has always been a safe place for you.
The door creaked as you pushed it open, revealing the familiar layout of books in front of you stacked neatly on each shelf. You really didn’t want to go to the section you needed to go to for answers but you allowed your feet to naturally lead you there.
The words “THEOLOGY” stared back at you as if to taunt you. You let out a huff and suddenly a splitting headache erupted, causing you to grip your head as the horrendous pain engulfed it. Rumbling began to fill your ears and you looked up to see the bookshelves under the sign shaking horribly, books falling onto the ground. You blinked and they stopped moving, as if it had never happened to begin with.
The headache went away just the same but one of the books that had fallen caught your eye at the bottom of the bookshelf. It was simply titled “love magick” in bright pink, standing out against its solid black cover. It looked old, dust layering it and, as you picked it up to inspect it, most of the dust flew up into the air.
“Sourpuss? What are you doing here?”, fate really did like to fuck you over, didn’t it?
“Oh, nothing”, you quickly hid the book into your arm, hiding the cover as unsuspiciously as you could, “just doing some research for a paper”.
“Well, that’s boring. Want to know what is not boring though?”, Jungkook raised an eyebrow as he stepped closer to you, causing you to subconsciously step back until your back was against the bookcase behind you. The scene felt oddly familiar. Something was holding you in place as Jungkook finally stopped in front of you, chest pressed against your own.
“Do I even want to know?”, you tried to sound confident but your voice came out shaky.
“You”, your face twisted into confusion as a Jungkook that looked much younger than the one in front of you flashed inside your head saying the very same thing. Jungkook couldn’t understand why you suddenly dropped your book and shook your head, trying to think of a reason. You didn’t even know Jungkook back then, so how did you know what he looked like?
“What’s wrong?”, he looked down to see the book you had dropped, about to crouch down to get it but he read the title before he did.
“Why are you reading about love magick?”, Jungkook tilted his head and finally crouched down to pick up the book, turning it around in his hands to figure out why you would want such a thing. “That’s an odd research topic for a STEM major”.
“I have a humanities class, idiot”, you scoffed, quickly trying to come with an excuse. You reached out to grab the book back but Jungkook held it high enough out of your reach.
“Really? Cause it would make a lot of sense why I feel this pull to you if you’ve been doing some kind of love spell on me”, you felt almost offended that he could think such a thing and your patience hit an all time low.
“That is not what’s happening, Jungkook! I don’t understand the pull either. Yes, I practiced witchcraft before but I gave it up. I just wanted to find answers”, you sighed, trying to take deep breaths between words. Jungkook looked confused, slowly lowering the book back down and you grabbed it from his grasps to hold it close to your chest.
“Why’d you give it up?”, he was talking to you but you noticed his eyes were set on the crystal around your neck, the bright pink reflecting in his brown eyes. You tried to find an answer to his question but couldn’t find one just like you couldn’t give an answer to Taehyung when he asked. You just threw your stuff out with no explanation.
“I don’t know. It just felt wrong to do it. Like it ripped something away from me”, you shrugged, opening the book to start flipping through the pages.
“Do you think you did something to me?”, he raised an eyebrow, watching the pages with you and he could barely see the recipes on the paper due to all the words filling them. Warnings, rules, and everything else under the moon seemed to be written in there. Jungkook had no idea how you could read that stuff.
“I’m not sure but it could explain why Taehyung seems to think we knew each other before. I just don’t know why I would do such a thing”, Jungkook finally got fed up with the crystal swaying back and forth, distracting him and he grabbed the damn thing to stop it. You tried to jump back from the sudden contact just for the bookcase to stop you in your tracks.
He seemed to freeze in place, hand tightly grasping the rose quartz. The memories seemed to rise from the dead, building up from the ash inside his brain. You were just staring at him with wide eyes as his cold eyes slowly started to well up with tears. You had no idea how you had upsetted him but you just stayed still in fear that you would make it worse.
“Jungkook? Are you okay?”, you looked up at him and his arms slowly wrapped around you, holding you so tight that you thought he would break your ribs.
“I know you don’t remember but just stay still a minute, princess”, Jungkook buried his face into your shoulder, rubbing your back as if he had known you forever.
“O-Okay”, your voice cracked, awkwardly rubbing his back in return. You never thought you would see such a fighter in such a fragile state.
“Ok, princess I need you to hold this”, he pulled back and held up the crystal to you. You didn’t understand considering you had touched that thing multiple times.
“Alright?”, you reached up and touched it with your finger to find that, like you expected, nothing happened.
“Nothing? Hmm, wrap your hand around it”, he gripped your hand and made you grip it just like he had, holding your hand on his own to keep it in place. You felt more from his hand than the necklace.
“Still nothing. What happened, Jungkook?”, you ripped your hand from his, getting a little freaked out from the sudden contact. Jungkook was into you but he never initiated physical contact past the club.
“I remember everything. We did know each other before the club. You’re the reason I know Taehyung”, you couldn’t deny that that checks out considering Taehyung had told you that the morning after the club.
“Really? Then, why can’t I remember?”, you frowned, looking down at the necklace as if it would suddenly work for you.
“You did a bond-breaking spell. The necklace must be connected to why you did it or something, right?”, Jungkook raised an eyebrow and you guessed that also makes sense since Taehyung said Jungkook gave it to you it.
“Listen, I know it’s confusing right now but we’ll figure it out, okay?”, he gently put his hands on your shoulders and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.
“Okay, do you remember anything that I had the night I did the spell?”, you raised an eyebrow, grabbing Jungkook’s hand to drag him out of the library and towards your apartment. You had to have done the spell there considering candles were needed for that spell.
“Not particularly”, you could tell he was deep in thought even though he was staring at you, probably trying to make up for the lost time you two had.
You began to go through the process of a bond-breaking spell in your head. Candles, carve the initials, tie the rope, and burn. Candles, carve the initials, tie the rope, and burn.
“That’s it! Burn!”, you stopped in your tracks, turning to look at Jungkook. He looked even more confused than before.
“You know nothing, do you? I had to burn the candles which means I used a lighter, right?”, you asked as if he could answer and you continued on your way, not even letting him answer before he was being dragged behind you again.
“Taehyung! Do you know where my lighter is?”, you stopped using the thing when you gave up witchcraft since you had no use for it. You had no idea what Tae had done with it after you gave it to him to use. He could use it more than you.
“Uh, why?”, he turned around on the couch along with Namjoon, both of them staring at you and a wide-eyed Jungkook. They looked at each other and then back at you both.
“I think I did a bond-breaking spell on Jungkook and I”, Taehyung just looked at you with a blank stare, having no idea what that meant, “aka I made us forget about each other”. You rolled your eyes.
“Oh, well that explains a lot. Why would you do that though?”, he tilted his head and Namjoon couldn’t help but be curious too. You looked at Jungkook along with them. He looked absolutely guilty.
“You have to listen all the way through cause it is going to sound bad at first”, he gently let go of your hand just in case and you all nodded, staring at him eagerly.
“Jimin and I were obviously close friends before and he dared me to try to take ___ out because he had some weird vendetta against her due to her religion. It started out as a deal when I started to talk to you and when you were tutoring me”, your face scrunched up at the knowledge that you were being played around with. No wonder you did the spell. You had to trust Jungkook though.
“I realized, though, that I really did like spending time with you. You made me a better person and student and I think I made you more confident in your religion which explains why both of those things were stripped away after the spell. Anyways, I only continued talking to Jimin to get the necklace as a gift for you but you overheard us talking and misunderstood. You did the spell before I could explain”, it seemed like Jungkook said it all in one breath but you understood enough for relief to flood through you. Your hand instinctively held onto the necklace.
“Wow, that’s a lot”, Namjoon blinked a few times like his brain couldn’t keep up with all the information.
“Yeah, for real. Now, let me try to remember where I put that lighter”, Tae jumped up and started rummaging through drawers in your kitchen. You couldn’t focus much on him though with all the information that was just thrown at you.
“Found it!”, it had probably been after a few minutes of you and Jungkook just staring at each other before Taehyung ran over with the white lighter in his hands. He stopped and held it out to you like it was a fragile item.
“Thank you. Hopefully this works”, you smiled weakly at Jungkook and he smiled back, trying to offer some courage. You finally picked up the lighter, warmth flooding into your hands and up your arms before your own memories started to reappear. Jungkook held onto you as you started to become overwhelmed, shaking where you stood. The feeling you had before the spell came flooding back.
Your heart begged for Jungkook just like your body did before.
You pressed your cheek against Jungkook’s chest, gently punching him with your fist over and over again.
“You’re such an asshole”, you mumbled and he laughed, wrapping his arms around you. His chin ended up on top of your head.
“How am I the asshole?”.
“For not just asking me to be your girlfriend in a normal way”, you sighed, knowing that all of this could have been avoided.
“I’m sorry”, Jungkook’s heart swelled as he kept reliving all of your memories together in his head. He gently ushered with his head for Taehyung and Namjoon to leave and they nodded, gathering their belongings before heading out the door.
“For importantly, though, change your major back to theology. You’re miserable, princess”, you raised your head to look at him, an eyebrow raised.
“Your makeup doesn’t really hide the eyebags”, he smiled apologetically, trying to explain how he knew as best as he could.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll change back”, you smiled, just staring up at what you now know is someone meant to be in your life.
“Good cause I was definitely prepared to take your calculator or something if I needed to”, Jungkook smiled and you didn’t respond, too lost in the memories that didn’t seem to stop. Some were much more distracting than others.
And Jungkook certainly wasn’t helping when one of his fingers was absentmindedly circling your hip bone under your shirt, the fabric having risen up a bit.
“Jungkook”, his eyes moved to follow you as you looked up at him, his finger never stopping the shapes he was drawing unknowingly. He seemed so lost in thought that he barely registered that you were leaning up to kiss him.
“Jungkook, baby, I can’t reach”, your hands cupped his cheeks and he finally snapped out of his trance, looking at you below him. You really couldn’t because of how tall he was, especially since he was wearing boots.
“Oh, sorry princess”, he chuckled and finally leaned down to mesh your lips together, electricity sparking through you both and his hands traveled higher up to your rib cage. Your body shivered in response, moaning into his mouth. Jungkook pulled back in shock, wondering what could have elicited such a response.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s been a while”, you pouted and he just smiled, continuing to make shapes in your skin.
“I think this time I should make sure you never forget me”, he grinned and leaned down to cup the backs of your thighs with his hands, lifting you up effortlessly. Almost naturally, your legs wrapped around his waist.
“How do you plan on doing that?”, you run your fingers through his black hair, realizing it was much longer than before. You liked how curly it had become with the length.
“Well, if you will allow it, I want to treat you right this time”, Jungkook kissed the tip of your nose and you couldn’t help but nod. You had never seen such a sweet side to him and you were curious what that could be like in the bedroom. Especially considering you had not hooked up with anyone else after him.
“Please, Jungkook. But, I need you to know I haven’t done it since then”, he nodded and laid you down on your bed gently, hovering over you. It was a scene you’d love to get used to again.
“That’s okay. I’ll take it slow and if anything hurts please let me know, okay?”, you immediately nodded and Jungkook started to gently lift your shirt up until it stopped right below your breasts.
“God, I remember all the places I wanted to kiss you. I should’ve”, he sighs, pupils blown out as he takes you in.
“Really? Show me”, you were curious as you watched the man lean down, pressing his lips against the hip bone he had been circling earlier. You gasped as he suddenly bit down on the area and then licked it like he was soothing the pain.
“Here? Was this where my finger was?”, you felt yourself getting light-headed from both how close Jungkook was and from the aftermath of your memories and feelings coming back. “Princess”, his mouth moved upwards, teeth grazing against your skin until he made it to the lower part of your ribcage. “Here?”, you were so wet as you were focused on the past things Jungkook had done to you.
“Sweetheart, pay attention”, Jungkook began to push the fabric of your shirt a little higher and sucked on the underside of your boob. You immediately snapped out of the library memory that was playing in your head. Your hands were gripping his shoulders and you hadn’t even realized. “Here?”.
“Uh, yes. Well, no”, you shook your head to try to regain the past few moments back. “Oh, it was the first one!”, Jungkook chuckled at how excited you got, his hands pulling the shirt and bra off of you to throw off to the side. You shivered from how intensely he was looking at you from your chest, eyes locked on you.
“Do you remember when you realized you liked me?”, you asked, realizing Jungkook was now distracted. His eyes were darting from your breasts to your face, breathing shallow.
“Remember what?”, he finally asked, not even paying attention as he started to trace a finger around the birthmark on your ribcage.
“When you started to like me”, his hand came up to cup your breast and you instantly clenched around nothing.
“Ever since I laid eyes on you. Both times”, he looked up at you, eyes glazed over with so much lust and love that you were almost convinced this wasn’t Jungkook looking at you.
His eyes roamed until they were on the small of your back, pushing there gently to arch your back. You watched as he fit one of your breasts into his mouth, sucking on it as you rubbed your thighs together. You never noticed how sensitive your nipples were until they hardened under Jungkook’s tongue. Jungkook groaned and you looked down to notice he was stroking his cock between every breath he took between sucking your tits, watching the hard points of your nipples.
“Princess, I think I’ve changed my mind”, you were about to frown, wondering what you did wrong. Jungkook rested his head against your sternum, looking down at your body. “I think my favorite color must be red now”, he said as his finger trailed along the waistband of your underwear peeking out from over your skirt. He moved his finger down to push the skirt down your legs, shoving it off the bed along with your shirt.
You let out a sigh of relief and Jungkook smirked as his finger moved down your panties, grazing over your clit and down to the wet spot in the fabric. “Damn, princess”, he quietly whispered and your cheeks heated up at the knowledge that you were way too swollen and wet for how little he has done. “Your body really did miss me, huh?”, Jungkook looked up at you and you just nodded, too overwhelmed to speak.
He moved the fabric of your panties to the side, his finger getting soaked between your folds and he slowly started to sink the digit into your entrance. There was no resistance and Jungkook smiled at how you clenched around the finger, trying to make sure the pleasure wouldn’t leave.
“Fuck, you are so beautiful”, the words barely reached your ears as you closed your eyes, leaning against the pillow below you as pleasure erupted through you. You could feel Jungkook’s lips trailing along your stomach as he slowly added another finger, stretching you out more. His fingers were big and you had to open your legs further to make room. His other hand began to circle shapes on your hip.
“Relax, sweetheart”, your hands immediately gripped his arms when he curled his fingers just right inside of you, your mouth hanging open as pleasure went up your spine. He smiled at the sight, continuing to thrust into that spot. “There it is”, your nails were digging into his skin but Jungkook didn’t mind one bit. He only had one goal in mind and that was to get you prepped for him, resulting in his face slowly going lower down your body.
You didn’t really notice until you felt his warm tongue press against your clit, causing you to clench around his fingers and let out a gasp. Your hands moved to grip the sheets when Jungkook moved his own to hold your thighs apart, feeling them shake within his grasp. You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten up and you were clenching tightly around Jungkook’s fingers, barely allowing him to move them.
“I’m gonna cum! Fuck, Jungkook”, he kept his speed steady, swiping his tongue back and forth on your bundle of nerves until you’re cumming all over his fingers. He slowly pulled them out, letting you ride the orgasm. Embarrassment fills you as you look down to see his digits completely soaked in your arousal. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you calm down from your high.
“Can you handle more, baby? Can I fuck you?”, he’s gently rubbing your sore thighs as he looks down at you, waiting patiently for a response as you catch your breath. You move your hands to rub his arms, letting him know you’re okay.
“Yeah, please fuck me”, you nod and Jungkook kisses your forehead as he pulls down his pants and boxers. You watch as he starts pumping his cock with his hand, quickly being reminded of how big he is. Your mouth practically waters at the sight, watching as precum starts to leak from the tip.
He pushes himself between your thighs, aligning his cock with your entrance and the tip is pressing against your entrance.
“Are you ready? Let me know if it’s too much”, you nod and Jungkook leans down further against you, allowing you to wrap your arms around him as an anchor before he’s pushing himself in slowly. The burn of the stretch is worse than usual and your nails dig into Jungkook’s skin as you wince.
“Jungkook, hurts”, he immediately stops, looking down at you with concern. You wrap your legs around his waist and the new angle helps a little bit with the stretch.
“Just wait a second. I’m okay”, you smile reassuringly and he nods, pressuring his forehead against yours as he relishes in how you feel.
“Princess, you’re so tight and warm”, he sighs and you smile before you’re kissing him, getting used to the stretch he was providing you. You pulled back and gave Jungkook a nod. He slowly started to push more inside until he bottomed out, completely pressed against you.
“Can I move, princess? Or do you need more time?”, he gently pushed your legs up against your chest.
“You can move”, you nodded and looked down, watching as his cock completely came out of you just to go all the way back in as Jungkook moved. A bulge formed in your stomach every time he went back inside and you could’ve cum just at the sight of that.
“Fuck, I forgot how good you take my cock”, he groaned, watching the same scene you are and you clenched at the praise. Jungkook had to have noticed cause he grinned before his finger was circling your clit, enhancing the pleasure he was already giving you plenty of. He started setting an even pace and the familiar knot was forming again in your stomach, your legs shaking around Jungkook’s waist.
He was a little clumsy sometimes, cock slipping out just for him to have to align it back in but he felt too good for you to mind at all. His voice was tickling your skin as he whispered about how beautiful you are or how good you felt but you honestly couldn’t focus much on it. You were sucking him in deeper with every thrust he took, gripping him harder as if your body couldn’t let him go.
You watched as Jungkook trembled on top of you, pure pleasure going across his face as his cum filled you, spilling out as he continued to thrust. You grinned and bit into Jungkook’s shoulder as your own orgasm engulfed you, holding him close to you as he started to slow down.
“Would now be an appropriate time to ask you to be my girlfriend?”, Jungkook leaned back a bit to see your face, sweat dripping down both of your faces as his cock remained inside of you. You laughed and kissed him on the nose.
“Better late than never, I guess. Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend”, you nodded and Jungkook smiled at you, starting to place kisses anywhere he could reach before he collapsed on your chest.
“Good. Also, I’m going to buy you crystals after we rest. This place is boring without them”, your new boyfriend says as he briefly looks around your room. You do the same and realize he’s right.
“Sounds good to me”, you grin and finally let yourself rest, holding Jungkook as close as he was holding you.
#binxyu#jeon jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook imagines#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jungkook smuts#jungkook imagine#jungkook oneshots#jungkook oneshot#bts jungkook smut#bts smut#bts imagines#bts oneshots#bts scenarios
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i wasn't going to keep cluttering people's dashes up with my ffxiv stream-of-consciousness posts. but after a chance run-in with @arcanistvysoren in the dusk vigil one night, i was encouraged to make more. so, hey! heavensward! that was a lot!
one thing you can always count on final fantasy to do is give you leitmotifs. sad scene? leitmotif. climactic battle? leitmotif. quest accepted? leitmotif. hey, dragonsong is nice. why not?
it's difficult to overstate how habitually this game throws beautiful atmosphere at you and makes it look effortless. i know i keep repeating myself, but it keeps being true. the quiet desolation of riding through the coerthas western highlands at night with a blizzard battering you and fog obscuring the horizon. ough
i was looking forward to royce's role as a self-exiled ishgardian in this part of the story, and i was very much not let down. heavensward spends a lot of time emphasizing what an irreplaceable asset the warrior of light becomes to ishgard, so the bitter taste that she would have experienced during the early coerthas ARR quests rises to a nauseating pitch. oh, now the ishgardian authorities care. now they want her around. now they want to heap praise on her for pulling them out of the fire. when they did nothing to help save her squad five years ago and went damnatio memoriae on her when she vanished. they're lucky she's too heroic to let them burn.
i'm not exactly sure how she works through her feelings by the end. i'll have to think about it. write about it, maybe. we'll see.
the dragon plot is fine. it works! it's cool! it's all very mythic in scale and appropriately tragic. i'm just more drawn to the expansion's mundane side. it's easy for final fantasy to get carried away with itself when it's got aether and primals and multiverses flying around, so we need the periods where we deal with interpersonal conflict to keep it grounded and speak to lived human experience.
i mean, the windows into how ignorant ishgardian citizens are and how deep their religious indoctrination actually goes? that's meaty. a church covering up everything from their archbishop's love child to the history their core theology was founded on? that's the good stuff
god, it's hilarious how much estinien and aymeric were engineered in a lab for fans to fall in love with them. they're elves, they're tall, they have deep voices and piercing eyes and swooshy hair, they're brooding, they're burdened with great and terrible responsibility. estinien is beat-for-beat the "character 1" archetype of otome games: mysterious and mean, but defrosts over his story arc. you have dinner at aymeric's house! the dev team had to know that these fellows were going to have a following and leaned into it.
actually, wait, does aymeric fall into the "responsible authority figure" otome archetype? is haurchefant the "flirty, excitable younger guy" archetype? am i onto something here? pepesilvia.jpg
poor haurchefant ):
speaking of characters, cid is growing on me. i didn't pay much attention to him in ARR, but i like that he continues to play a major role. he's a fun guy to have around. royce draws heavily from cyan garamonde, who's a notorious technophobe, and i wonder whether she inherited some of that character DNA too. you are a good man and i trust you but do not dare augment my lance. more power means more parts to break. cold steel will never fail you
the vault and baelsar's wall are awesome as dungeons, but lol, lmao. there is something to be said for bark trigger volume. filthy rats! [crackling fireball noise] sickness must be purged! [explosion] filthy rats! [griffin sword swing] sloppyyy!! [another explosion] sickness must be purged!
i have finally found a part of the game i dislike: leap of faith. UGHHH. why am i good at every GATE except that one. UGHHH
oh i have THOUGHTS about that duel with raubahn
emmanellain's job is just beach
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Fic Ask Game
If anyone wants to play, I cut a list of questions together from various ask games. Send me a number from this list and I'll answer in the context of Reverie. 😊
How often does your character "brush over" conflict instead of facing it head on? Is there something specific they don't like to face, or do they avoid conflict as a whole?
What's one minor moment your character regrets? A small mistake, but something they "can't erase"?
What was your character like when they were four years old? Were they loud? Shy? Were they the resident "weird kid" or did they get along with others their age?
What is this character's most expensive habit or hobby? Do they ever feel guilty about the money they spend on it?
What's one way this character has changed over time? Either over the course of their story, or over the course of designing them as an author.
Are there any scenes in this work that take place at nighttime? Is this significant, or just the passing of time?
Do a find-and-replace on the word "smirk" and share any lines that pop up.
Are there any moments in this work that you think could scare a reader? Are there any moments where the characters themselves are profoundly scared?
Is there anything that scares the main characters about their friendship/relationship?
Are there any moments in this work where a character's clothing or accessories play a major role?
Share your favourite kiss scene from this work. If there's no kiss scene, share your favourite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)
Does this fic incorporate any symbolism based on religion, theology, or mythology? If so, give an example.
Are there any characters you've had to "cut" from a story? Are there any moments/chapters/stories you've had to "cut" entirely?
What was the moment when the main characters realized they were in love?
Who is more stubborn?
When they are having a fight, what is it about and how do they deal with it?
Who causes the most arguments?
Do any of them have bad habits that the other can’t stand?
Pick a physical attribute that they love about each other.
What are their most prominent memories of each other?
What are they like when sharing a bed?
How open are they with their feelings?
Do they have pet names for each other?
Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?
Do they get jealous?
What are their ways of expressing their love?
Do they ever disappoint each other?
Is there any moment that happens between them and just makes you melt?
How does their love change as they get older?
Share anything you would like about the couple!
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