#auditory illusions
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I'd love it if more people understood the difference between hallucinations and illusions. So let me try to explain with examples. [TW: examples of auditory hallucinations and illusions described as you experiencing them]
1. Imagine you are home alone with your windows closed and it's silent. And then you hear unfamiliar voices talking about you, it sounds like they are coming from another room. You go to check but no one is there. Your brain created entire voices of people out of thin air. This is a hallucination. There is nothing but your brain creates something.
2. Now imagine you are in the same scenario but your windows are open but the curtains are closed. You hear your neighbors having a conversation, and you hear it as them talking about what you are doing in that moment. They couldn't possibly see what you are doing, so realistically they can't be talking about you, but your brain makes you change the words and hear it that way. This is an illusion. There is something but your brain changes the real thing into something unreal.
It's not always easy to know the difference when you are experiencing it. But if you do know which one it is (nothing there and something unreal appears or something there changes to something unreal) then I think it can be really helpful to label the symptom accurately.
For me it was helpful to gage the effectiveness of my medication. I noticed that I have more illusions than hallucinations, and for me that was a sign of improvement. It can also go the other way, to see if your psychosis is getting more severe.
#psychosis#hallucinations#illusions#auditory hallucinations#auditory illusions#mental illness#nd#schizophrenia#neurodivergent#schizophrenic#actuallyschizophrenic#mental health awareness#pseriouslypsychotic
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Risset Rhythm, the drum beat that is always getting faster (or is it?)
I’m a big fan on auditory illusions, and this is a great one. Skip around in the video if you’re not sure if you’re losing your mind or not.
If you listen long enough you will hear the opposite version: Thinking it’s actually slowing down, not speeding up.
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I swear to god “Gelatinous” is fucking possessed. Some days it sounds completely normal, and then all of a sudden it starts sounding detuned — like the pitch is warping down and glitching (in ways it isn’t supposed to) — right in the middle of listening to it and it gets creepier and creepier with each subsequent listen. But if I take a long pause from the song before listening to it again, it goes back to normal. It never distorts when I’m waiting for it to distort; it only does it when I’m not prepared for it.
It could be a sensory processing thing (I have some auditory stuff ~going on~ but uh… I’ve never experienced anything quite like this before.) If I listen to it enough I begin to feel as if I’m getting high and literally turning gelatinous myself. What the fuck.
#help my own soundtrack is cursed and I don’t know why#Just specifically the 2.0 version with the weird offset between the left and right ear#Did I inadvertently create an auditory illusion or is it actually a portal to the underworld?#what the FUCK#I mean I wanted it to be psychedelic but HOLY SHIT#Will this cause mass hysteria when I release it as part of the third act?#Aaaaaaah#But it’s like an instant spontaneous change in perception#Like something’s gonna get you#Like being on drugs without drugs (not that I know what it feels like but I can definitely reach an altered state of consciousness#with this song when it does The Thing)#Like someone flipped a switch and the lights went out and you’re in the dark basement praying a hand doesn’t reach out#from underneath the floorboards and grab your foot
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this week has been so exhausting i got home and tried to watch the new tlou ep with my roommate but was passing out like 5 mins in.
#i proceeded to sleep on and off for like the next hour and a half#just in the living room complete with half dream auditory illusions lol#the kat diaries
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opening a store for the day by myself at 6am and hearing whispers right outside the office door and trying to decide if i should call 911 and hide or if it's tinnitus. lol
#also i got 4hrs of sleep. lol!#so like it could 100% be auditory illusions WITH tinnitus. but#i'm like what if it's not and i am attacked bc i thought my tinnitus was loud#cannot decide which scenario would be more embarassing#life is a highway. etc#j.txt
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please answer honestly, or simply hit show results. if there's interest, i can make one for illusions as well. If there's any confusion on terminology, let me know and I'll be happy to explain.
reblogs to increase sample size are appreciated, but nobody is under any pressure to reblog this.
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Makes sense. Hopefully everything works out then
I hope so...I just want him to be happy and have a good childhood - 🐾🍃
And he will, because he has two amazing parents - 🐶👻
Awwww - 🐾🍃
Th-thanks... - 🍬💫
elmo loves you - 🧩
...Oh thats terrifying - 🐶👻
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Akari is technically like. a New Born Pokémon, so she has absolutely 0 control over her illusions and has been accidentally doing some funny stuff. On the way to Gear Station, while she was patiently waiting for the train to arrive, many people took pictures of what seemed like possibly the new Station Mascot, because she accidentally illusioned herself a gray Subway Boss hat.
One person almost stepped on her and they reflexively apologized, not expecting the Pokémon to talk back. Akari accidentally induced an auditory illusion to say "it's okay!"
On her way to finding the twins she has probably been an accidental menace, and the reason she found the twins so quickly is because they were radioed in about some strange Pokémon running around Gear Station seemingly looking for something and disturbing some people. So they went out looking for her.
It very quickly becomes obvious that the "thing" she was looking for was the Subway Bosses. They have a very enthusiastic fan. Who happens to be an uncaught, weird looking Zorua??? Why does a wild Pokémon even know who the twins are, and how did they become such a big fan??
Then a train passes by and Akari, in a fit of excitement, accidentally throws another auditory illusion out. This time it's her screaming "TRAIN!!!" at the top of her lungs. (With it being an illusion, it's much louder than her real lungs would be able to produce, actually.)
And they're like oh okay, This Zorua Autistic, nvm. They understand completely. Would not be the first Pokémon they've seen obsessed with their same special interest, their own Pokémon not included.
They take her to the break room for the time being. They still gotta check and make sure no one is looking for this Zorua, yup! She doesn't register as caught, but you can never be sure!
#Akari From Our World#Akari the Modern Day Ghost#Submas#Subway Boss Ingo#Subway Boss Emmet#Ingo#Emmet#Akari#PLA Akari#Pokemon#Pokémon
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Hey do you think ya can explain Barnaby and his illusion smoke a bit? It seems really cool and I don't remember if ya talked about it in depth before
sure! this got a bit longer than i expected!
so i was thinking that Barnaby seems like more of a hands-off kinda guy when it comes to altercations. would rather sit back and make funny commentary! so if he Had to get involved, i imagine it would be from a distance and still in an Entertaining Way!
thus - illusion magic! for this au i've been picturing that he got his paws on some illusionary herb in his early teens. for making people laugh, you know! and help out with the farm - illusions could distract animals, convince them to move on to different pastures, calm the chickens for egg-collecting, etc!
Ms. Beagle didn't really approve, since smoking is harmful, but lucky for the both of them this particular plant doesn't deal as much damage when smoked as normal smoking materials would - like tobacco! something to do with the magic properties! so Barnaby mostly used it for chores (when his mama wasn't paying attention, ofc - it's still a bad habit in her eyes) and entertainment purposes.
how it works: on its own, it doesn't do much when burned. it's not like illusions will waft out of the pipe's bowl, or that sniffing it will give someone hallucinations. in order for it to work properly, the user has to inhale properly, form the Intent of what the illusion should be / look like / behave, then purposefully blow the smoke out with that thought firmly in mind. the reach of the smoke depends on the force of Intent, and the intensity depends on the amount inhaled. those that breathe it in / are surrounded by it will see hallucinations of whatever Barnaby - or whoever the user is - wants them to! it can be literally anything! whether or not the target is fooled depends entirely on the individual, but the herb is potent enough that most are convinced that what they "see" is real (auditory hallucinations only occur if the target breathes in the smoke)
upsides: this form of magic is great for distractions, cover, deescalation, and that kind of thing. if needed, Barnaby could stop a fight with one exhale! it's a pretty powerful trick! it also means that Barnaby has built up a tolerance to illusion magic over the years, so where most of the party would be tricked, Barnaby would be unfazed. the only one with total immunity to the form of magic is Wally!
downsides: if Barnaby uses too much in too short of a time, it will get to him. and since he breathes in the largest amount - undiluted at that - it can fuck him up! using it sparingly / using repeated small amounts doesn't do anything. the most it will do is make him feel slightly untethered, but he has an easy time ignoring it / shaking it off.
in mild cases of the magic getting to him, it's like a bad trip. his proprioception is messed with (basically he gets uncharacteristically clumsy & off-balance), he feels like he's falling, anxiety spikes, and his vision is just... off! there are blind spots (im talking actual blind spots, not spots of black), things are moving in ways that they shouldn't, he has mild auditory hallucinations. the others can help ground him by talking to him, touching him, and confirming what's real and what isn't.
in bad cases, it's like that but 10 times worse. on top of all of the previous symptoms being worsened, he gets extremely vivid hallucinations, and they're very often not fun! it's a simultaneous feeling of dying, going insane, and not knowing what the fuck is going on. Barnaby loses sense of where he is, who's where, what's happening. he can get lost in the hallucinations - he has no way to know that they aren't real. in these terrible trips, no one can really help him. they can't get through the hallucinations, and if they do, the magic morphs Barnaby's perception of them and they end up adding to the effects. honestly the best thing for him is to let him rest somewhere with as little sensory input as possible & leave him be until he starts to come down. physical contact does help, since Barnaby understands on an instinctive level that illusions can't touch him, but it doesn't help half as much as it does w/ the mild trips. and again, the presence of someone can make the hallucinations worse.
so! suffice to say! he doesn't like using the herb all that often, and it's why he Stays Out Of It unless absolutely needed. he has two pouches of the herb - one with the strong stuff, reserved for emergencies / one with just a tiny bit of it mixed in with Barnaby's own personal blend for recreational/everyday use. (he also has an emergency tobacco stash in his pack, but that's only for when he's completely out of his usual blend <3)
extra lil scribble that didn't make it into the lil doodle post... i broke his wrist...
#the undiluted one is the blue/purple/pink smoke#while the personal blend changes color depending on his mood#and the personal blend does Not cause illusions!#the herb is included in the blend for cosmetic effects - colorful smoke! - and it has calming affects#so its. yeah its rgb weed last person nailed it on the head#rambles from the bog#wh fantasy au#the other day i was thinking about howdy's first adventure with the neighborhood#and i was like 'ok situation where barnaby has to use a tad too much of the magic'#and i amused myself imagining howdy's shock and panic when barnaby - steady graceful barnaby#staggers a little. looks up at the trees/skies. goes 'oh no' and promptly stumbles and falls on his face. and then just does not get back u#he has to go get poppy to make sure he isnt hurt / also howdy would Not be able to half-drag barn back to camp on his own#that dog is dead weight and staggering all over the place - if they can even unstick his claws from where he's anchored himself#sometimes barnaby will feel the unpleasant trip Incoming and he'll just. lie down right there and then#facedown. gripping the grass like his life depends on it - and also whoever's closest#frank always leaps out of the way when barn starts to Sway bc he does not want to sacrifice his arm for a solid few hours#usually wally is the one to sit with him and happily get his arm bones squeezed into dust <3#a common thing is barnaby will be like 'the trees/sky is melting and the ground is turning inside-out'#what does that mean! no one knows! he cant explain it when he sobers up!
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Positive symptoms of schizophrenia (things schizophrenic people might experience which most people don't):
Auditory hallucinations aka hearing things which aren't actually there, often random sounds or actual voices.
Visual hallucinations aka seeing things which aren't actually there, often shadow people, monsters or weird shapes and colors.
Gustatory hallucinations aka tasting things which aren't actually there, often rot or poison.
Olfactory hallucinations aka smelling things which aren't actually there, often unpleasant or weird.
Tactile hallucinations aka feeling touches which aren't actually there, often bugs or hands.
Vestibular hallucinations aka feeling the room move when it isn't.
Delusions aka strong beliefs which aren't connected to reality and don't respond to facts like contradictory information or lack of actual proof, often paranoid or bizarre.
Disorganized thinking and behavior aka struggling to structure and communicate your thoughts and behavior in a way which makes sense to the people around you.
Paranoia aka thinking someone is observing or even stalking you with evil intentions.
Illusions aka distortions of existing sensory input like seeing objects move or take different shapes or confusing a real sensory input for something entirely else.
Negative symptoms of schizophrenia (things schizophrenic people don't experience which most people do):
Alogia aka struggles to communicate verbally or lack of verbal communication.
Avolition aka lack of motivation and desire to do things.
Lethargy aka lack of energy.
Flat affect aka lack of expected emotional responses.
Asociality aka lack of interest in connecting with other people.
Anhedonia aka lack of positive emotional responses and experiences.
Cognitive symptoms of schizophrenia (other common brain related struggles associated with the diagnosis):
Executive dysfunction aka lack of ability to structure, start, perform and finish tasks.
Impaired memory aka inability to process, remember and recall information.
Impaired working memory aka struggles to recall and apply relevant information in the moment.
Impaired concentration aka inability to focus on tasks.
Impaired processing ability aka inability to understand and follow a task or situation.
Learning difficulties aka inability to learn and absorb new skills and information.
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Studies and Research Into Endogenic and Non-Disordered Plurality
I've been neglecting my Studies and Research page for a while, so I decided it was about time to bring it back. This time completely reorganized and mobile friendly. (Sort of. A lot of these are still PDFs, so clicking the links isn't mobile friendly. But you can actually reach it on mobile now unlike my old page.)
Blue links are free. Orange are paywalled but Sci-Hub compatible. Red is paywalled and not sci-hub compatible.
Latest Update: 10/19/23 (This post will be continuously updated with more research. If you see this in a reblog, you may not have the newest version)
Papers on The Tulpamancy Community
Varieties of Tulpa Experiences
Book: Hypnosis and meditation: Towards an integrative science of conscious planes
Learning to Discern the Voices of Gods, Spirits, Tulpas, and the Dead
DOI: 10.1093/schbul/sbac005
Tulpas and Mental Health: A Study of Non-Traumagenic Plural Experiences
DOI: 10.12691/rpbs-5-2-1
Unusual experiences and their association with metacognition: investigating ASMR and Tulpamancy
DOI: 10.1080/13546805.2021.1999798
Personality Characteristics of Tulpamancers and Their Tulpas
DOI: 10.31234/osf.io/5t3xk (This is a pre-print and may lack peer review.)
Papers on Other Endogenic/Non-Disordered Plurals
Multiplicity: An Explorative Interview Study on Personal Experiences of People with Multiple Selves
DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00938
Exploring the experiences of young people with multiplicity
ISSN: 2057-4266
Exploring the Utility and Personal Relevance of Co-Produced Multiplicity Resources with Young People
DOI: 10.1007/s40653-021-00377-7
Conceptualizing multiplicity spectrum experiences: A systematic review and thematic synthesis
DOI: 10.1002/cpp.2910
It's just a body: A community-based participatory exploration of the experiences and health care needs for transgender plural people
(Note: While most of the paper is paywalled, the introduction is still interesting and worth reading IMO.)
DOI: 10.1016/j.ejtd.2023.100354
Transgender Mental Health (Includes a chapter on Plurality)
Screenshots
ISBN: 978-1-61537-113-6
Papers on Spiritual Plurality and Plural-like Experiences
Can the DSM-5 differentiate between nonpathological possession and dissociative identity disorder? A case study from an Afro- Brazilian religion
DOI: 10.1080/15299732.2015.1103351
The Absorption Hypothesis: Learning to Hear God in Evangelical Christianity
DOI: 10.1111/j.1548-1433.2009.01197.x
Multiple Personality and Channeling
DOI: 10.29046/JJP.009.1.001
Commentary on "Multiple Personality and Channeling"
DOI: 10.29046/JJP.009.2.011
Papers on the Agency of Imaginary Friends
Explaining the Illusion of Independent Agency in Imagined Persons with a Theory of Practice
DOI: 10.1080/09515089.2022.2043265
Investigating Valence and Autonomy in Children's Relationships with Imaginary Companions (Paywalled)
DOI: 10.3233/DEV-130123
The bully in my mind: Investigating children's negative relationships with imaginary companions (Thesis)
https://ir.ua.edu/handle/123456789/1468
‘When my mummy and daddy aren't looking at me when I do my maths she helps me’; Children can be taught to create imaginary companions: An exploratory study
DOI: 10.1002/icd.2390
Imaginary Companions, Inner Speech, and Auditory Verbal Hallucinations: What Are the Relations?
DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01665
Maladaptive daydreaming is a dissociative disorder: Supporting evidence and theory.
DOI: 10.4324/9781003057314
Papers on the Agency of Fictional Characters
The Illusion of Independent Agency: Do Adult Fiction Writers Experience Their Characters as Having Minds of Their Own?
DOI: 10.2190/FTG3-Q9T0-7U26-5Q5X
‘I’ve learned I need to treat my characters like people’: Varieties of agency and interaction in Writers’ experiences of their Characters’ Voices
DOI: 10.1016/j.concog.2020.102901
Papers on the Agency of Hallucinations in Psychotic Disorders
A psychotherapy approach to treating hostile voices
DOI: 10.1080/17522439.2016.1247190
Auditory Hallucinations in Dissociative Identity Disorder and Schizophrenia With and Without a Childhood Trauma History (Paywalled)
DOI: 10.1097/NMD.0b013e3181c299ea
The Representation of Agents in Auditory Verbal Hallucinations
DOI: 10.1111/mila.12096
Rethinking Social Cognition in Light of Psychosis: Reciprocal Implications for Cognition and Psychopathology
DOI: 10.1177/216770261667707
Relevant Quotes From Irrelevant Papers
These are papers that largely have nothing to do with endogenic or non-disorder plurality, but include important quotes. These relevant quotes are screenshotted so you don't need to read entire papers for one paragraph.
Non-disordered plurality is mentioned in the International Classification of Diseases. (ICD-11)
Authors of the The Haunted Self and creators of the Theory of Structural Dissociation reference that hypnosis or spiritual practices may result in self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality.
DOI: 10.1080/15299732.2011.570592
#psychology#psychiatry#syscourse#sysblr#plural#plurality#multiplicity#systems#endogenic#science#pluralgang#plural system#endogenic system#pro endo#actually plural#imaginary friends#system stuff#pro endogenic#tulpa#tulpamancy#actually a system
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Fun fact there's this Viktor fic I love on ao3 called ghost in the machine and today I found out that (even though the fic was inspired by a song and the term actually is about a philosophy concept) it's also the title of a scientific paper written by a guy who found out haunted places and ghosts are a phenomena of visual and auditory hallucinations caused by vibrating frequencies in the air. Apparently places that aren't structurally sound or places with a lot of machinery (specially after the industrial revolution) emit some frequencies that quite literally make your EYEBALL VIBRATE and cause optical illusions lmao anyways thank you viktor and the author of the fic for teaching me random stuff
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It was inconvenient to her that she was on fire, and so she chose to believe that she was not.
Certainly, there was her perception of being on fire, but her perceptions had been proven wrong on several past occasions. Hidden eye pictures. Mirages. Pressing on her closed eyes to make those weird colors. Auditory hallucinations. Thinking that each thing is itself exactly. Many such instances.
She felt it reasonable, then, to decide that she only seemed to be on fire, and to disregard that perception as mere illusion. She was wrong, of course—except, that was just her perception of being wrong. Once she shook that off, she was clear. The fire seemed to burn her. Her flesh seemed to blacken and char. The smoke seemed to smell disturbingly good. But none of that mattered. None of that was real. She'd never even come to this awful place, this place that is Hell. She'd been in Wisconsin all along!
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Does redeemers neo constantly flirt with Jaune like her renegade self?
Jaune/Neo: *In a rented bed room, going over some evidence and clues for their latest quest.*
May: *Knocking on the room's door* Jaune, are you Neo still in there?
Jaune: *About to answer*
Neo: *Quickly casts Minor Illusion at the door, creating an auditory illusion of Jaune grunting, Neo moaning, and the bed frame creaking*
May: *Blushing hard* S-Sorry! I-I'll comeback later!!
Jaune: *Blushing red* MAY WAIT! COMEBACK!
Neo: *Casts an Minor Illusion of her go to voice* Oooh~? Hoping she can join us, Altar Boy?
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Prisoners of War, the Effects of Solitary Confinement, and Sonic the Hedgehog
Remember when Sonic was a prisoner of war? Well turns out, that can damage your brain in some pretty awful ways (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov). It’s been revealed in several studies that being a POW can cause schizophrenic disorders, anxiety, debility, etc.
But, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Let’s talk about the torture that happened in those six months.
Sonic Forces is said by many fans to employ the term “torture” loosely, that simply being confined to an empty room for an extended period of time (six months in this case) is no warrant for the term. While yes, the game certainly does not address the event properly, making it seem as if this circumstance is no big deal, in reality, being confined to an empty room with no human contact is what is defined as “solitary confinement”, a punishment becoming more and more infamous for its adverse effects on those it is inflicted onto.
The various consequences of solitary confinement on a person’s psyche go as follows (Stuart Grassian, Psychiatric Effects of Solitary Confinement):
-Hyperresponsivity to external stimuli, including ordinary things such as the sound of plumbing in another room.
-Perceptual distortions, illusions, and hallucinations, mostly auditory, but may be visual depending on the individual
-Panic attacks
-Difficulties with thinking, Concentration, and Memory
-Intrusive thoughts, typically those of violence against captors
-Paranoia
-Lack of impulse control
-Delirium
Furthermore, the effects and issues with solitary confinement are so severe, that a UN human rights expert stated that solitary confinement for more than 15 days has every right to be labeled as psychological torture (https//www.ohchr.org).
I’ll drop a bit of the professional tone because, well, this is Tumblr, but on with the hedgehog.
As shown here, Sonic has cuffs around both his wrists and ankles. In all honesty, this is even worse than being locked up in a small room. All proper movement for him was restricted. There was no proper stimuli around him, he was locked in a metal prison. Once again, this was for six months. Sonic already struggles with staying still, he feels the need to run most constantly. Being restricted for that long could not have been good for him.
The thing is, you don’t even have to stretch to say that Sonic was tortured, because solitary confinement is torture. Perhaps it would explain why he didn’t give Tails a proper hug upon his return. After all those months with no proper contact, it might have been too much for him at the moment.
“Yawnfest” is nowhere near the proper term to describe these conditions. The proper term is said in the game itself: “torture”.
Maybe this was why Infinite said Sonic “reeked of fear”. Sure, it could easily be interpreted as infinite stroking his massive fucking ego, but what if Sonic truely was afraid? Not only was he defeated (easily) by him, but also Infinite locked him in solitary confinement (ie: torture) for six months.
You don’t have to come up with a bunch of stuff not shown on screen to feed your angst needs (I mean, if you want to, all power to you). You’ve got all the ingredients for a delicious angst-pie right here.
Edit: Just realized that solitary confinement and torture were said as two separate thoughts in the original dialogue. Jesus fucking Christ.
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sonic forces#infinite the jackal#sonic angst#Why say torture if you’re not gonna delve into it man#Like c’mon#Man I hope a fanfic writer reads this and gets inspired or something I need more fanfics
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★This is a prompt fill for @nuttynutcycle's amazing Prompt 404, full credit to her for this idea.
Original Prompt
"They sent you? After everything I did? That's hilarious." The villain laughed through bloodied lips."And I'm the sadistic one."
The hero didn't respond to the shell of their tormenter. They remembered the villain as vibrant, invincible: a showman of suffering. Not coated in dirt and bruises in a cell.
"After everything I did, I'm surprised you can even come near me." The villain said softly. Their gaze didn't waver. "Unless this is your way of asking for more."
A shudder ran through the hero and they tasted bile at the thought.
-continuation starts here-
TW: Implied past abuse, scars, choking, suicidal ideation
"Stop," Hero breathed out, looking everywhere but at their nemesis.
They let out a cold, shrill cackle, or at least, an attempt at one, throat so dry, it sounded more like a strangled cough. "Stop? Come on, you know me better than that, Hero," they purred, the voice grating against the crime-fighter's eardrums.
It had taken them so long to be able to stop hearing their once-torturer's voice ringing in their ears, its hold so mercilessly powerful on them, it had managed to escape their nightmares. For some time, the words 'auditory hallucinations' had seemed so fake, part of a poorly fabricated illusion.
They didn't even know how they were standing here, why they'd accepted. It's not like Superhero had forced them. But it was easier said than done. Nowhere near as terrifying as being face-to face with them. So much so that the bars between them seemed pointless, half-invisible to the hero.
"Come here to have a go at me too? I'm quite popular amongst some of the members of your agency, it's about time you of all people showed up here." The villain may have been smiling as they said it, tone laced with cold, indifferent amusement, but their eyes told a different tale, the look in them practically screaming broken and exhausted.
Hero wanted to retch at how disturbed they were by the criminal's state. "Fragile," they'd called them, back when they spent their days waking up to a boot pressed into their chest, continuously mocking their empathy as an attribute only possessed by the weak and foolish.
Right now, their old enemy was trying to hold on to whatever shreds of their pride they had left, by way of tormenting the crime-fighter, who by all other means had the upper hand here.
"No," the crime-stopper answered, appalled. In spite of the clear disgust in their tone, they weren't really sure if they'd meant it with all their being, as their gaze flitted over to an old, jagged scar, in an unappealing, dusty shade of pink on their left forearm, revealed as the sleeve of their somewhat baggy sweatshirt fell lower against their arm. They pulled it back again, a force of habit, worrying their bottom lip between their teeth.
The second they'd managed to escape, they hadn't wanted anything more than to rip them to shreds, to make them suffer what they'd done to them tenfold. The hero had scratched at the skin of their wrists and screamed their throat raw, even in the safety of their own bed, wishing to tear the villain's world apart, brick by brick as though it was a building.
Seeing them like this, it should've felt cathartic. It should've brought the hero some sort of twisted satisfaction that their tormentor was getting a taste of their own medicine, maybe even worse.
But all they felt was a cold, mind-numbing emptiness, a disturbance that settled at the pit of their stomach and twisted it into knots. If they searched hard enough, they'd swear that they even felt a pang of sympathy for the shadow of their once all-powerful tormentor.
"Of course not," Villain drawled lazily, staring at the crime-stopper with a chilling mix of amusement and contempt, horribly reminiscent of their past self. The criminal got up, stretching their limbs casually, moving as far as the chains would let them. They stared down at chipped, broken nails with an impossible amount of blood and dirt accumulated underneath them. Before, the villain had always looked immaculate, but instead of kohl underneath the cruel, icy blue eyes, there was an ugly trail of bruises and crusty blood mixed with dead skin.
But even looking like the personification of death, the villain still managed to be spiteful. "Nothing could make you lose that foolish weakness of yours, Hero. You'll always be a goddamn bleeding heart, too bloody nice and pathetic to deal any real damage. Don't you have any dignity?" they spat, and they sounded genuinely frustrated, their eyes narrowing, the most emotion they'd displayed since the crime-stopper had entered their cell.
Hero didn't know exactly when their hands had twisted the key into the lock, when they'd raced into the cell, slamming the villain into the wall with an audible thud, the force drawing a sharp gasp from their adversary's throat. They weren't sure when their fingers had clawed at the criminal's throat, keeping a vice-like grip on their neck, their nails digging deep into the already damaged skin. It was almost as though their rage had possessed them, coursing through their veins like poison, speeading heat through their body like wildfire.
"Oh, you think that it's hard for me to hurt you? You think that I haven't dreamed of the day where I put you through hell? Show you how it feels like? There were times when all I could think of was how much I wanted your blood on my hands, how much I wanted you dead!" they snarled.
For the first time, true, unabashed fear had flashed across Villain's features, eyes wide, their lip quivering as they choked in the hero's grip. But the bastard smiled at them, trying so desperately hard to be sharp and taunting. Instead, it was weak, full of pain, as every muscle of their face twitched and struggled to keep it up. Tears streamed down their face instead, and the hero slightly loosened their hold on their throat.
"Do it. Kill me how you've always wanted to, Hero." The villain's voice had only ever been smug, full of power and entirely lacking emotion. All it was now was soft and broken.
Whatever had taken over the hero faded as they removed their fingers from their neck, their mismatched eyes softening. They involuntarily winced at the bruises and bloodied scratches left on their neck.
Even through all their cruelty, the villain had been more merciful to the hero than the criminal's current tormentors were to them. They'd let the hero eat, not that they really had the apetite, gave them the basic rights of showering and clothes. Sometimes, they didn't even hurt the hero, usually when they felt they'd had enough. It was agitating to think of their once-captor's virtues, but the hero wasn't one to deny the truth.
Except here, the villain was clearly starved, their face gaunt, cheeks sunken, and the tatters they had for clothes hung loosely off their emaciated frame. Their body was covered in numerous scratches, deep and barely healing, some even clearly infected.
"I came here for closure. But now, I'm going to get you out of here." Maybe the villain deserved some sort of reckoning for what they did, but not like this. Not remorseless torture that left them wishing they were dead.
Villain's eyes widened as they held their breath as the hero began unlocking their chains. "This isn't legal," they murmured.
"Like I give a damn," the hero replied tersely. The villain had become so frail that they had to lean on the hero all the way.
Hero's eyes flitted over to Villain's cell one last time, contemplating again whether they should just let them rot and get their revenge, but their compassion overrid any of their darker thoughts. Empathy, they realised, was not a weakness. It is what separates man from monster. It stops us from falling into stupors fuelled by rage and bloodlust. It is the tool by which we hold power over our own emotions. It is a strength of priceless value, if only people would stop being so blissfully ignorant, hiding in the silky duvets of their own selfishness.
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#hero x villain#prompt fill#angst#whump#tw violence#tw bruises#tw suicidal ideation#tw blood#tw choking#tw implied past torture#heroes and villains#fiction#natalia's writing#original prompt by: nuttynutcycle#writers on tumblr#female writers#writing#whumper turned whumpee#whumpee turned caretaker#TW: ya girl didn't edit#also yes the villain used to wear kohl because that's slayyy and uh I'm wearing kohl rn
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