#as an atheist this made me fucking laugh
Text
BILLY BUTCHER & MOTHERS MILK
1x05 good for the soul
#billy butcher#billybutcheredit#billy butcher gif#billy butcher gifs#mothers milk gifs#mothersmilkedit#mothers milk#mothers milk gif#theboysedit#the boys tv#the boys#the boys gif#the boys gifs#karl urban#as an atheist this made me fucking laugh#*mygifs#*mine: gifs#*mine#sapphicgifss#sorry for the typo
276 notes
·
View notes
Note
imagine the monster trio as boyfriends reacting to/helping you on your period
Monster Trio Helping You on Your Period (FLUFF)
Black Fem Reader in Mind
CW: Mostly Fluff, but a little suggestive with Zoro and Sanji
Enjoy!🫶🏾
Luffy
Somehow it’s like you both are on your period💀
He feeds off of your emotions a lot so if you’re irritated. He’s irritated. If you’re sad he’s sad but most importantly if YOU ARE HUNGRY HE IS HUNGRY
He pretty much uses your sweet/food cravings you may have to eat more
“Sanji y/n wants some chocolate cake!…a lot of it!”
When Sanji caught on to him he kicked his back and decided to give you your food directly
You didn’t have to explain what a period was to him, he didn’t really care to know but he did still freak out when you made an accident on the bed while you were sleeping.
This man means no harm he just thought you got attacked
Okay so like…one time he ran into the bathroom to find you and caught you changing your pad and kinda freaked out. He knew you bled but you were very heavy that day and he screamed
He was so fascinated though he sat and watched akshdhssk
He kinda acts like how he did when Nami was sick and try to cheer you up when you have cramps, but you have to tell him to stop because he made you laugh once and the pain got worse
He doesn’t let you fight he makes you stay on the ship
“Luffy im fine i can fi—“
“NO YOU’LL BLEED EVERYWHERE!”
Bless him.
Zoro
He just views it as a sign that he didn’t knock you up yet.
This fool may be an atheist but you’ve caught him thanking God you got your period because of one scare
“I dOnT pRaY tO GoD”
“SHUT UP!—“
You still love him though. He is a little more tender with love when you have your monthly’s.
“Here. I made you some tea.”
“How you make this ? You can’t even boil water.”
“JUST DRINK THE DAMN TEA!”
He has considered at one point to fuck the cramps out of you, but he also thought the bloody mess so he has been on the fence to see if you were down for that.
Zoro gets a bit pissy himself because you lash out your anger on him
He’s a big boy he can take it though
“How long are you going to have that opened wound down there?—“
“Like 3 more days..”
“ITS BEEN A WEEK?”
“I CAN’T CONTROL IT!?”
You make him cuddle you a lot which has been annoying on his end because of the constant teasing the girls do on the ship when they see you both.
10/10 boyfriend
Sanji
This man makes having your period BEARABLE somehow
When you first made a mess on the bed, he woke up first and seen it. He knew what periods were considering he knew Nami and Robin before you so he didn’t want to make you feel embarrassed.
He woke you up gently to tell you and you of coursed panicked
The blood got on his underwear you nearly cried
He didn’t care though, it was something natural so He consoled you about it and took you to take a quick bath as he cleaned the sheets
Ugh. A man.
He has a drawer in his room filled with medicine, hot packs, snacks, etc of what you need when you’re on your period
You have sucked him off a few times as a thank you for being so sweet.
Keeps the men away from you the whole time so they don’t stress you out
Of course he does his usual making your favorite food or anything you’re craving.
There were a few nights you started to cry due to the pain of cramps and Sanji felt so helpless honestly but he placed you on top of him and held you
“I know, sweetheart I know… just focus on me it’s okay.”
You once told him that sex helps with cramps and he nearly dragged you to the bedroom while his nose was bleeding
“ANYTHING FOR YOU MY PRINCESS!”
#one piece#TimikosMonsterTrio#one piece headcanons#black reader#one piece x female reader#sanji#sanjionepiece#sanji imagine#sanji x black reader#sanji x reader#zoro x reader#zoro fluff#sanji fluff#sanji scenarios#zoro imagine#zoro scenario#zoro headcanons#zoro hcs#one piece zoro#luffy headcanons#luffy imagine#luffy scenarios#luffytaro#monkey d. luffy#luffy x reader#luffy x black reader#zoro x you
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Upon rereading Into The Wild, I saw the "paw in each world" line from Lionheart to Rusty, and it made me think...
Firestar has to be laughing his ass off in Starclan looking at Skyclan's Daylight Warriors, but in a sad way.
I'm not normal about Firepaw's indoctrination don't do this to me. I'm trying so hard to not write a thesis paper on that one specific scene in Into The Wild where Firepaw asks an incredibly benign question about interclan cooperation and it is IMMEDIATELY shamed out of him by the two older warriors that he respects more than anything
I hate you Darkest Hour I hate you killing Scourge in the end and all his evil atheist genetically inferior minions run along I hate you defense of the status quo I hate you retcons that attempt to make Blackstar and Leopardstar less bad I hate you I hate you I hate you
Firestar's Quest ALSO has a ton of like... weird fucking problems in this vein. And ultimately in AVoS, they paint the Daylight Warriors like they WERE a problem because of how they couldn't come defend SkyClan.
"Can't have a paw in each world" is a line in-canon worth a lot of critique, but no. Sadly they build up to that being right, because they don't want to address the Clans as flawed entities.
150 notes
·
View notes
Note
/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.
Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"
Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.
And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.
Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.
I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.
Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.
I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?
--
As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.
In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.
Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
Obey me favorite incorrect quotes
Made in this website: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator
*Levi and Lucifer are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
Levi: oh my god, Lucifer, backwards!
Lucifer: Really, Levi? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.
--------------------------------------
MC: What am I supposed to do?
Belphie: If I were you? I’d try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in.
MC: I’m an atheist.
Belphie: Then just get ready to die I guess.
-------------------------------------
Beel: That's not funny.
Belphie: I thought it was funny.
Beel: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.
------------------------------------
Beel: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.
-----------------------------------
Beel, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it?
Belphie: Other side, Beel...
--------------------------------------
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
MC: I choose to waive that right!
MC: *screaming*
some time later
Mammon: Your Honor, I hereby submit the following to the court:
Mammon: MC, what the actual FUCK?
139 notes
·
View notes
Note
babe, mafia!Jason and plus size!biker!reader where they both met in church despite being the most committed atheist in their family🙏 (just two of them waiting patiently outside of the church since reader promised to pick up her step-bro who's 10 and younger than her 14 years even though she doesn't see eyes to eyes with the poor kid's mother while Jason needs to meet up with Tim for... certain deals...
Pulling up beside the large gothic revival structure, you let yourself off and rest against your new bike, awaiting the sight of your little brother coming out of Sunday school with helmet in hand, as was your usual routine on Sunday mornings.
Breathing out a dense cloud of smoke just a few meters in front of you, a dark suited figure had its eyes glued on you. You shifted in your place, uncomfortable with the situation, him eying you up and down, and a visible smile on his face.
You seriously wanted to go to him, ask him “what the fuck?” and perhaps punch the smile off his face, but, although you weren’t very religious anymore, you still respected church enough to not want to cause a scene right in front of one. Instead, opting for a “nicer” approach.
“What’s so funny?” you asked, lifting an eyebrow at how his smile seemed to grow.
“Nothing.” he replied, raspy voice giving out his long years as a smoker, while simultaneously causing your heart to skip a beat. “I’m just amused.”
“At a fat girl on a bike?” you harshly replied, already used to such comments.
“At a stunning woman with quite the good taste.” he answered, throwing the burnt down cigarette away and walking, single hand in his pocket, straight in your direction. “That’s a beautiful bike you have here.” he complimented, fingertips dragging along your motorcycle’s silhouette.
“Thanks.” you dryly answer, not bothering to move from your position.
“I see I’ve made quite the impression.” he stated, leaning on your bike beside you. “Tell me, sugar. Is there something else you’d like to ride?”
You nearly choked on your own saliva at his words, losing composure for a brief moment, when the guy’s laugh brought you back to your guard. “It’s a one time offer, sugar. I wouldn’t waste it if I were you.”
“My name is Yn, not sug…” and before you could finish your sentence, another suited man came out of the church, calling for a Jason and walking right past you, like he didn’t even notice you there.“I guess I’ll let you sleep on the question,” Jason said, moving from his spot by your side and beginning to follow the other man. “See you later, Yn.”
#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd blurb#jason todd#jason todd x you#jason todd x plus size reader
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
We’ll build our altar here.
—warnings; discussion of religion, sacrilege, mentions of sexual assault (both Billy & Reader), atheist!Billy, smoking, kissing, fluff, fem!reader.
@e-dubbc11 @firexfate @aoi-targaryen @kayhi808
Rabbit Heart Masterlist.
&&&&&
“Do you believe in God, Billy?” You asked that night, watching him light up, his cigarette turning red in the darkness of the den as smoke billowed around his face as he exhaled.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, as spring neared, the grounds thawing, making it muddy.
“Bunny, you’re my religion.” said Billy, cigarette in between his lips, moving as he talked, his fingers touching your knee, and squeezing as he exhaled, laughing as you stole his glass of whiskey, drinking it down.
“That’s sacrilegious, Billy.” You said, licking your lips, his eyes drawn to the action, looking like he wanted to taste the whiskey on your lips.
Billy’s fingers kneaded your thigh, eyes shining with something dark, something that thrilled you and made your heart beat faster, an ache between your thighs that only Billy caused. “I don’t give a fuck. I learned long ago that God doesn’t exist, and if he does, he doesn’t care about me. God coulda stopped Arthur’s assault, but he didn’t. Given me a better mother who never abandoned me. You and Frankie are the only two good things that have happened to me. You both chose me when some deadbeat deity didn’t.”
He flicked ash into the ashtray, and pulled you closer, nose brushing your hairline as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, the smell of smoke comforting you, his eyes dark and intense. “You’re the only religion I need.” He said, kissing your mouth, enjoying the feel of you pressed against his side.
“You’re the only God I need, too.” You admitted quietly against his mouth, in between kisses, breathless, tasting the menthols on his tongue. You never knew he’d been sexually assaulted. It made sense with how understanding he’d been about yours.
You ached for him, feeling a burning hatred for the man who’d hurt him. Billy never spoke of his pain, of his past. Always focused on yours. You wanted to be there for him, too.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, admiring him, his cheeks pink from kissing you. “I could share in your pain.” You said. And he hummed and took another drag off his cigarette, fingers playing with your hair, enjoying the feel of your fingers stroking his hair, the feeling of you pressed to his side, a comfort to him that you were there, warm and safe.
For now, he allowed himself to love you quietly.
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
Healy!reader’s relationship to the boys
george - as mentioned previously, george is the official-unofficial godfather. (official because matty deemed him that, and unofficial because your father is an atheist) your dad also always puts him down as your 2nd emergency contact - him being first of course. He was one of the first people to hold you when you were born and was looking forward to life with his new little buddy. He always called you “bubs” and when you were a baby and first started to babble, you tried to say it back and eventually kept saying “bubba” instead and kept pointing at him whenever you said it or tried to get his attention. from then on he was bubba to you and he loved that he had a nickname. you call him whenever you're in some sort of trouble that you don’t want your dad finding out about. You had him pick you up from a party and admitted to him you tried drugs but swore immediately that you’d never do it again. He was like “Bubs, what the hell?!” and you said “I know, Bubba. I know, I’ll never do it again!” and he said “No not doing drugs- doing drugs without me! Next time you feel like having fun, you call your uncle George and let him get you something. I need to make sure you're not getting worse stuff on the streets or someone is trying to rip you off!” you we’re like uh okay cool but no thanks. your dad was pissed when he found out. Not at you ofc - he was happy you were out and about being a teenager. he was pissed at george for the encouragement and that he didn’t tell him.
Adam - your dad likes to joke that you started having conversations with people that moment you were born. you would always make these noises. Eventually your dad could differentiate them and he would be able to tell if you were hungry, or tired or whatever. You tried to call people by their names before you could really speak. Again- they were just like sounds. Adam became “adi” and that’s all you’ve called him since. usually nowadays it’s “uncle adi” or something of the sort. he was set on you being a musician from the very start. he gave you your very first guitar lesson at the ripe age of 3 which was basically just him playing guitar to whatever song was blasting and you strumming along on your hannah montana mini guitar that bubba got you for christmas without playing any actual chords or holding any rhythm. He’s the uncle you spill all the tea to first. He knows who everyone in your school is because you two always shit talk about the bitches in your school and gossip about whatever taylor swift was doing that day. “So she called me literally CRYING that her friend canceled on her and i was like ‘gurl don’t worry we can go out together tmr’ and so we made plans for the next day” and he’s just like “uh huh” and just nodding on and on “but THEN she cancels our plans the very next day and was like ‘oh i have a family event’ but then a check her instagram story AND SHES OUT WITH ALL OUR FRIENDS WITHOUT ME!” and he matches your energy and is like “WHAT A BITCH!” he loves you very very dearly and would drop everything in a second to be wherever you needed him.
ross - When you were little and started speaking little words you would point at ross and just say “tall” which always made everyone laugh. It eventually turned into “tallie” (t - ah - lee) the vowels never made sense to the boys but they just chalked it up to you being a baby of a britt being raised in america. he’s the most ‘uncle like’ (?) like he’s always making sure you do your homework and makes sure you're home at a certain time and shit. all 3 are overprotective as FUCK but ross definitely takes the cake for most over protective. he’s like “be back my 10” and you’d always fight him and be like “10!?! cmon! midnight man!” and he sticks his ground. “no way.” “what about 11:30?” “it’s about to be 9 if you keep it up…” “fine i’ll be back by 10.” - you, accepting your defeat.
#x daughter!reader#x neice!reader#matty healy x daughter!reader#matty healy x reader#matty x reader#matty the 1975#matty healy#george daniel#adam hann#ross macdonald#the 1975
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP WEDNESDAY - 13/03/2024
Tagged by jon @bigassbowlingballhead love u pal <3
I am on somewhat of a short writing sabbatical I tell myself. I've posted nearly 75,000 words in six weeks which is a lot for me. So I'm taking this week to relax from my WIPs before starting to post scheduled oneshots and start a new chaptered fic.
That being said i wrote a 1500 word fic this morning which you can just have here lmao.
Summary:
Exes Alex and Henry meet at the funeral of Henry's twin George who was killed suddenly aged only thirty-five. They haven't seen each other in four years.
The wind is bitter as it blows down from the top of the hill. It’s March, so it’s that time of year where the sun isn’t quite ready to negate the feel of the chill early in the morning and late into the evening. It’s already eleven am and the sun does feel warm when the wind dies down. A few moments reprieve where Henry doesn’t have to pull his coat tighter around his body or wish that he’d worn something that was more wind proof.
They don’t really make raincoats that are funeral approved, however.
Still, he pulls his thin black pea coat so it doubles over him. It’s too big. It’s not his. It was too big for George too, but his brother loved to wear oversized things. Said it made him feel small and holdable.
The thought crushes Henry. What he’d give to hold George now.
Everyone else has already gone. His mother didn’t even show. Her grief is exponential, increasing and deepening at such a fast rate now that she cannot be touched. Losing her husband young destroyed her, but burying one of her children eviscerated her. Not even the scars of her former self remain anymore.
And Henry understands. More so maybe this time than when his father died. He loved his father so much, but George was his twin, the other half of his soul. Maybe this is what his mother felt. Maybe this is what it feels like to break apart. Except she isn’t haunted by her husband by every reflective surface, by every future birthday. By every photograph of his childhood, every fucking Instagram post. By every friend they had because they didn’t even have separate friendship groups. Everything they had they had together and now Henry inherits it all.
It's too much.
(continues under cut, tags following)
It’s times like these that Henry curses being raised as an atheist. He wishes he could believe that something came after this, that he and George will meet again, but he can’t. People tell him that George is in a better place. A dark part of him agrees that six feet under some fucking dirt is probably better than living in a two bed on Peckham Highstreet. It’s a lot cheaper.
Henry gets the sudden urge to jump into the grave. It’s open, waiting for someone to come and cover George and seal him down there forever. Henry could just jump in with him.
“I didn’t think anyone would still be here.” A voice says from behind Henry, startling him.
He turns to see a beautiful man wrapped up in a warm black coat and scarf. It’s Alex, because of course it is. Who else would be so late to a funeral they miss the entire service. Who else would spring up out of the ground at Henry’s moment of despair like some kind of macabre dandelion.
“Right on time, I see.” Henry tries to snark, but his voice comes out small and fragile.
“My flight was delayed.”
Henry hums. “Nice to know George wasn’t worth flying out a day in advance.”
“Don’t.” Alex says, firmly but not aggressively as he moves to stand next to Henry. “Don’t do that, H.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t act like I didn’t care about him too.”
Henry feels crazed, like he wants to scream and tear off his clothes and jump into the lake and inhale the water.
He lets out a forced laugh instead. “Oh right! Of course. My apologies. Of course my ex-boyfriend who I haven’t seen in four years also cares about my fucking dead twin brother, so much so that he shows up uninvited at his funeral an hour too late. I’m sorry for being so insensitive.”
“H-”
“-No!” Henry shouts. It’s so out of character that it snaps Alex’s mouth shut. He lowers his voice. “No. I don’t know why you’re even here.”
Alex looks down at his shoes. “Would you believe me if I told you Philip invited me?”
Henry scoffs. “Pull another one.”
“It’s true,” Alex says gently. “He called me…after… He called me when, uhm-”
“-When George was stabbed to death in a pub in broad daylight?”
Alex lets that sit for a moment. “Uhm. Yes. He called me again to invite me.” He takes a deep breath and when he speaks again his voice cracks, “we were together for ten years, Henry. I loved George like he was my own family. We were a family.”
And they were. Alex had met Henry at university, and they fell in love almost immediately. Alex had transferred to London and George was assigned to be his ‘buddy’ and he’d always taken credit for introducing Alex to Henry. Always said that he’d have to mention that in his speech at their wedding.
The air leaves Henry’s body, but he doesn’t breathe out. It just evaporates in his lungs. He and Alex never got married. George never got to give his speech. And now George will never be able to give a speech at his wedding. Never be his best man.
But he has to give it to Alex. George was his friend and he know that they’d sort of kept in touch over the years, in an Instagram comment every couple of months. He never begrudged George of that. Their breakup was hard, and Henry got everything. Got their friends, their flat, the whole fucking country. Alex had gone back to Texas and not looked back. George was collateral in their breakup too and Henry knows that losing Alex was tough on him as well.
“H?” Alex is hesitant, but he gently takes Henry’s hand in his.
“I don’t know how to do this.” Henry says suddenly. “I don’t know how to do any of this without him.”
George was his better. The two-minute older brother who was confidant and sociable, who looked after Henry every fucking day for thirty-five years. Who literally and metaphorically held Henry’s hand throughout all of their hardships. Henry remembers their father’s funeral, how Philip was stone silent, and Bea was high, and their mother was vacant. How George, only eighteen, took charge and read a eulogy. He was a lighthouse built onto the rock, so strong and bright.
Afterwards George had cried, they’d both cried, in each other’s arms. But the next day George had got out of bed and forced Henry to do the same.
“It’s going to be hard; I know.” Alex says, squeezing his hand. “But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit. I mean. Look at me. You left my sorry ass.”
Henry thinks about how Alex had lost himself in his work and how their relationship had degraded over six months of broken promises and missed dinners and sitting alone in their apartment. And how it broke him down into nothing before he’d finally had enough. They’d both had enough.
He’s heard that Alex is doing better now. That he’s finally learning how to have that work/life balance that was only a dream to them back then.
“I’m all alone this time.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes I am. Bea has Michael and the twins. Philip is…well he’s Philip. Mum is completely vacant and our friends are all grieving.”
Henry knows Alex is going to say some placating bullshit like, ‘oh it’s okay you have me,’ like he doesn’t live thousands of miles away.
“You should come stay at the lake house.” Is what Alex says instead.
“What?”
The lake house was their place. Before everything went to shit, they often spent time there, sometimes with their friends, sometimes with Alex’s family, sometimes just the two of them. It’s a haven, really. A place where time doesn’t exist. All sunshine and water and blues skies.
“Come stay at the lake house. Get away from London for a while.”
“But my family-”
“-Be a little selfish for once, H.” Alex turns to him and looks him in the eyes. “I don’t have to be there. You can just come and unwind in the sun. Take a break from this all and have time to grieve properly.”
It’s insane. It’s irresponsible. It’s not possible. He buried his brother an hour ago, his family is falling apart again but.
But this time they all have their own families to fall back on. Their own spouses and kids. Even his mother lives with Philip and Martha and has them to look after her.
Henry lived with George, not out of necessity, but out of love. George who’s dead. George whose dirty tea mug is still on his bedside table and his laundry still in the hamper.
He can’t go back there.
“Okay.” Henry says. “Okay I’ll come with you.”
And, later, it’s hard to get on the plane. But once he’s in the air, he takes his first deep breath in weeks.
[End]
easy tag for @anincompletelist @eusuntgratie @nocoastposts @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @littlemisskittentoes @thinkof-england @happiness-of-the-pursuit @wordsofhoneydew @sparklepocalypse @magicandarchery @sunnysideprince and anyone i've forgotten plus open tag for anyone!!!
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Ah, f-ffuck, Eddie,” Steve’s eyes shut tightly and he felt a tear overspill and trail down his cheek. He contemplated holding it in but in the end a sob made it through, and Eddie’s concerned face appeared from between his legs.
“Are you okay?”
Steve reached down to stroke Eddie’s brow in reassurance. “Yeah, I’m just – I’m feeling a lot at the moment.”
Eddie’s eyes gleamed tender with trust and love. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Steve smiled, and drew in a stuttering breath. “If you don’t mind my crying noises while you are going down on me, you can continue.”
“Only if you’re crying in the weeping statue of Mary way,” Eddie grinned.
“Huh?”
“Head so good you’re seeing god,” Eddie winked at him and Steve huffed a laugh.
“I thought you were an atheist.”
“Well, by technical terms, that would be a Satanist,” Eddie corrected. “I believe in bodily autonomy, equal rights, freedom of choice and I listen to metal.”
“You forgot performing Satanic rituals in your basement every weekend,” Steve smiled.
“Ah, yes, my DnD group. Hell yeah, roll a twenty and there you go, gotta blow the devil.”
“Is that how you got so good at this?” Steve teased.
“Oh, you have no idea, big boy,” Eddie got a cheeky glint in his eye, wrapping his arms around Steve’s thighs and licking his lips. “Call you Holy Mary cause you’re about to weep, it will feel so good.”
“Is that a promis – ah!” Steve threw his head back as Eddie disappeared between his thighs once again, working his tongue in a way that made Steve’s whole body tremble. He regretted not having a headboard to lean against, kneeling in the middle of the bed with Eddie sprawled underneath.
Steve reached down to cover Eddie’s hands with his own, gripping hard as his breath quickened, matching the speed of him rocking his hips, and once again he felt the prickling in his eyes because it felt so good, and Eddie was so gentle, and hot, and Steve loved him so fucking much, and –
Another sob rippled through his chest but this time, he didn’t even consider holding it back. Steve’s chest heaved, tears streaming down his cheeks as he got closer and closer, and it felt so good to let go, so fucking good to not have to be a big boy and big boys don’t cry and can you please stop it’s so weird; it felt freeing to be this vulnerable with someone, trusting them not to call him weak or pathetic or make fun of him for having emotions.
Steve pressed down and Eddie moaned, squeezing Steve’s thighs in encouragement and drawling a loud “mhmmmm”, mouth too busy to speak.
“Eddie, fuck, Eddie, I’m going to come.” That sounded way more high-pitched and whiny than Steve had intended but it seemingly went straight to Eddie’s dick because he started bucking his hips while sucking Steve off with renewed vigour.
Small, needy noises made their way out of Steve’s mouth as he jerked, once, once more and cried out with his head thrown back, Eddie sucking and licking and touching him all the way through his orgasm.
Steve couldn’t stay upwards a second longer. He fell down next to Eddie, looking up at him when Eddie moved closer. His boyfriend reached out to stroke his cheek.
“Just like Holy Mary, Mary on a, Mary on a cross,” Eddie sang softly with a tender smile.
“I’m pretty sure in that case, I’m the one who’s supposed to be going down on you,” Steve responded dreamily, still in a foggy daze.
“There’s still time,” Eddie grinned. “Besides,” he added, “I’m supposed to worship you since you are the holy one.”
“I thought you were a Satanist?” Steve pulled Eddie closer.
“I can make an exception,” Eddie licked his lips. “You are just too delicious not to.”
Steve laughed. “You sound like you’re about to eat me!”
“Just did,” Eddie winked, “But yeah, I could eat you up, Steve Harrington. I’d start with your ass,” Eddie reached down and stressed his point by kneading Steve’s buttcheek.
“You’re so fucking weird, Eddie Munson,” Steve shook his head with a smile.
“Well, haven’t you heard? I’m the freak,” Eddie stuck out his tongue and opened his eyes wide.
“I fucking love you, you freak,” Steve said, catching Eddie’s tongue with his and pulling him into a kiss. Eddie passionately reciprocated. After a few minutes, Steve broke the kiss to Eddie’s audible displeasure. “You are right, I do taste good. Now, how about you?”
“Wanna find out?” Eddie smirked.
“Let’s see how sweet the forbidden fruit really is,” Steve mused, flipping them over and kissing a trail down Eddie’s torso.
“Ooooh, kinky,” Eddie put the tip on his finger in his mouth while holding eye contact with Steve. They both giggled.
“You’re such a freak, Eddie,” Steve said fondly, shaking his head, and closed his mouth on Eddie.
“Y-you, ah, fuck, love it, Harrington,” Eddie threw his head back, his fingers in Steve’s hair, pulling, petting, scratching as Steve moved his head up and down.Steve’s only response was a very, very muffled “I do”.
#eddie x steve#steddie#steddie fic#stranger things fanfiction#trans eddie munson#trans steve harrington#dacryphilia
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
~League of villains members as things I said/done/whatever~
Y'all will think I'm messed up but oh well
Tomura: "yawned whole time and ate chips in front of psychologist while sitting next to best friend that was low key nervous and anxious (I was with best friend for support @wholelottawidows thas you dawg 💀), offered psychologist chips and later when I ate whole bag, I licked my fingers in front of both of them and picked my ear when psychologist wasn't watching."
+
"Drank like 3-4 mugs of coffee and monster energy drink in one day but still fell asleep anyway"
+
"What's the point of all these hard work if we will all die either way, sooner or later?"
+
"When having breakdown, I remember something funny and stupid which makes me burst into laughter and forget what I was crying so violently about"
Dabi: "I'll start working out this summer, just to be able to fist fight and beat up our dads one day"
+
"chased sibling with knife around house it was a joke just to scare him don't worry no one got hurt lol"
+
"Life is short make it shorter"
+
"Made my younger step sibling hit step father in the head few times with something"
+
"Damn this headache fucking me in brain really hard now"
+
"It is what it is (I would say that after I fucked up something 💀)"
Toga: "Slept with knife under my pillow few times"
+
"have one stabbed pillow on bed which is covered with old t shirt"
+
"when I was a child I used to bring dead hedgehogs and mouses to my mother saying: Look at this poor kitty mom, let's help it!!! While the fucking animals were flattened like pancake and were literally full of ants and flies"
+
"Tried to snatch a street kitten once but failed and gave up"
Spinner: "Tried to eat cigarettes and rocks I found on ground as kid"
+
"I know I'm atheist and don't believe in that shit, but you hoes need Jesus"
+
"one time i ran through a swarm of tiny flies and my mouth was opened since I was gasping for air because of running and some of these tinyass flies got into my mouth accidentally I could feel them in my throat and gave up from trying to spit damn bug out so I swallowed it 💀"
+
"Who needs bitches when you have perfect sandwich"
Twice: "-Why is your nails painted pink? I mean you are mostly dressed in black it's surprising.
- Because I'm fucking fabulous"
+
"Smoked one or two times my whole pack of cigarettes and than my best friend's whole pack of cigarettes in one day (dw she gave me it I didn't just stole it and smoked it without her permission and I'm not heavy smoker now 👍💀👍)"
+
"Feels confident and looks at mirror whole time thinking how good I look, than after 30 minutes look at myself in mirror and either cry or laugh saying how dumb I look"
+
"accidentally choked on my own spit few times"
+
"Tried to help my best friend to get up one time because she fell but right when I got closer to her I tripped and fell as well"
Magne: "cold & badass women are daddies and cold & badass men are babygirls and pretty princesses"
+
"Bullies my siblings but when someone else does it I go protective mode like: "I'm the only one that can bully this dumbasses"
Mr Compress and Kurogiri:
"I can't stand you bitches so I'm cutting my legs off"
+
"Smacks siblings hand/head when they touch something they're not supposed to or something that's dangerous for them"
+
"one time while I was making coffee, my younger brother came to me to bother me and annoy me out of boredom, so I told him to go away. He did go away but not really far away, he stood at one line of kitchen floor half of meter away from me, I saw what was he trying to do he was trying to provoke me so I was like: If you want to provoke me at least do it fucking right you idiot
And I grabbed him and pulled him with me as I stepped on the actual ending line of kitchen floor and left him there as I went back to making coffee for myself"
~We gotta go baba now ~
I apologize to all people that I told earlier I'm going to sleep, sorry y'all but this idea farted up on my mind and I had to write it immediately so that I don't forget it 😍😍😍
Got a lil distracted 😔😔😔😔
(I hope people won't unfollow me bc of this💀💀💀)
#shigaraki#tomura#league of villains#shigaraki x reader#tomura headcanons#tomura fluff#shigaraki fic#tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura#dabi headcanons#dabi#dabi x reader#dabi todoroki#dabi touya#todoroki touya#touya todoroki headcanons#touya fic#touya x reader#toga himiko#mha toga#toga x reader#himiko toga#toga headcanons#bnha spinner#spinner#spinner x reader#spinner mha#twice mha#mr compress#kurogiri
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ultrakill holds a special little place in my heart right besides Terraria, Tf2, Hollow Knight and Elden Ring. Mostly because (spoilleerrrsss play the goddamn gaaameeee):
The Music. You can't tell me ORDER or TENEBRE ROSSO SANGUE don't go fucking apeshit hard. You don't know the feeling of adrenaline fuckin PUMPING through your veins whilst Listening to The Cybergrind and ULTRAKILLING some fucking demon SCUM. Which leads straight into my next point.
2. The Enemies. If you're even trying to tell me that Gabriel or Minos Prime aren't the coolest fucking Bosses you've EVER seen, then i don't think you have ever played against these masterpieces. Gabriel in act 1 is just doing his duties, being god's will, slightly pissed off because you killed 3 entire layers filled with sinners. Once you defeat him, he runs away because fuck this, he ain't dying yet. Which was one of the greatest mistakes he could have made, because The Council just cut off God's Flame from him so he dies in 24 Hours. So in Heresy, he is PISSED. He doesn't accept dying because some fucking GOPRO exists, and his rage is so high, that the entire Layer of Heresy became red. But once he reaches second phase, he gets calms down a bit, laughing at the machine because that's the best we got. And he somehow becomes MORE difficult. So we defeat him and he ain't even angry. Confused at best. So he sits down at the campfire and thinks like "oh shit god is dead. Welp guess i'm atheist." So he SLAUGHTERS The Council. And we will likely find out in Act 3: GODFIST SUICIDE (Which is the hardest fucking name for an act) what happens to our Christian/Atheist Boi. Minos was just a king. Ruler of Lust. He decided "oh shit maybe loving one of god's creations shouldn't be punished with eternal torture." So he makes an entire fucking renaissance for an entire Layer, before Gabriel comes down and just fucking kills him, before noticing he's becoming a (Amazon) Prime Soul. So Gabriel locks him up inside a fucking flesh prison. And Minos Prime goes so fucking hard. He wants to punish Heaven for what they did to innocent people, but since you did, y'know, kill entire layers multiple times to P-Rank them, he decides you need judging. And hoooh boy is he good at that. His attacks are coordinated and powerful, fast aswell. Y'know we got attacks like "Die!" which is foreshadowing to what you're going to do times about 900, give or take.
3. The Story. Okay I'm not a big lore guy so just watch some youtube videos and you should be catched up. Or play the game. You must. This is an order.
Tl;Dr: Hakita fucking overdid himself with this masterpiece of a game. Also they got fucking GIANNI MATRAGRANO FOR GABRIEL WOOOOOOOO
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
MTIJ | Ch.30 City of Dumbassery, Here I Come
|mtij masterlist|
pairing: levi ackerman x reader
word count: 13k
summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.
warnings: nsfw content; mentions of nudity; virginity loss; oral sex (f! receiving); protected sex; explicit sexual content; reader discretion advised
A hundred-dollar question: where do people go to blow off steam when their interns weren’t back back from their vacation yet? First and foremost, never City of Dumbassery as it’s not a place for relaxation. I might’ve been its main population these days, but I fancied myself a rational person capable of making the right choices when needed. Pretend you’re not looking at my romantic history. The right choice, however, wasn’t always right in the heat of the moment, only in perspective, so we begin this scene with me, seated on Erwin Smith’s couch with Hanji Zoe and a cup of coffee.
For more information on the right-est choice I made as of late, keep watching. Or as asshole-me insists on promoting: Come see the prequel to the biggest fuck-up of this girl’s life. I, though oblivious to its imminent eventuation at the point where we start, had a vague notion of what I wanted the next few days to look like. Let’s just say, humourlessly enough, that my wildest dreams came nowhere close to the reality that would take place.
“I’m sorry about last time, (Y/N). I didn’t know about you and Eren.” Hanji’s contrite apology made my smile widen as I lifted the cup of coffee to my lips. Dismissing the fact she brought the topic right back with the intention to make amends, Hanji was a good person and clearly sincere in her ways of regarding me. Kindness was one thing, but this woman’s pure cordiality was admirable.
“It’s not a problem. I could tell it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.” The corner of my mouth twitched in self-reproach at the manipulative bullshit I let slip. Instantly, I corrected: “Not that I was hurt.” If it’d been Annie, she wouldn’t straight-up laughed. Had it been Levi, he would’ve stared at me like I was dumb for thinking him dumb enough to buy it. But this was Hanji and she just smiled reassuringly.
“You can share if you want to. That’s what I’m here for with all my friends,” she offered. It sounded tempting but I couldn’t allow myself that kind of openness yet. Annie was, as always, the only person who knew the full story in all its repulsive glory but if I wanted to preserve
(Levi’s privacy)
my reputation, I couldn’t tell the whole thing here. The whole thing – look at me dodging the serious parts in an attempt to make myself feel better. I couldn’t tell Hanji about my intoxicated attempt to sleep with her friend, who gave dubious if any consent. Sounded appropriately disgusting like this.
“Mike and Erwin seem like they lead pretty decent lives, though.” Redirecting the topic, ignoring everything weird, dismissing all as a dirty scheme meant to humiliate me – a methodical step-by-step guide on how to be a paranoid bitch. It would’ve been my equivalent of the Bible if I weren’t an atheist. Even if I regularly used OMG, if I had to pick a fictional character to believe was real, at least I’d pick one from a book with a legit author – something by King, Thackeray, Hemingway, Tolkien, Orwell or Hawthorne. Following that train of thought, I might as well start worshipping Mickey Mouse – it’d do me more good than the big guy with the beard who loves me but would make me suffer for all eternity for stepping out of line once. I did it a lot.
“It wasn’t always like that. Not to mention Levi was stuck in the gutter a month back.” Hanji’s words snapped me out of my daze. “I know I told you to wait for him, but I don’t trust him, so make sure you keep this conversation a secret,” she warned while leaning forward as if afraid the walls would hear. The suspense, though exaggerated and a bit comical, made me put down my coffee. “So, you know how Petra is mentioned here and there?” I nodded. “She was Levi’s fiancé. She died in a car crash last October.” I knew I should’ve reacted appropriately but I couldn’t force it quickly enough. Hanji noticed. “You don’t look shocked.”
“No, but I am surprised. A lot of things make sense now. I’m sorry for your loss.” I hastened to make a recovery to lessen the doubt along the planes of her face. A pang tugged on my heart. When I considered the alternate reality where Petra hadn’t died, the notion of Levi not arriving for his internship was incomprehensible. He’d be studying hard at home and married. No rings, no chaos, no cheating for me – yes, good, but no company around the house either, no distraction and no comfort.
“You haven’t done anything to apologise for it,” Hanji said. “Anyways. Shorty was in a really bad place the months after. Working himself to the bone, no sleep, no food, no nothing. He just had to be doing something. The one good thing that came out of it was his weekly visits to his mother.” A small pause, a moment of consideration for her and an odd feeling of fascination for me. I was soaking it up like a sponge because I was seeing, at last, his angle. “Maybe it hit him that if death came for Petra, it could come for Kuchel, too. I can’t know for sure. All I know is he exhausted himself to the point he collapsed. Unconscious for three whole days. Isabel told him he’d gotten the internship when he woke up.”
“So he used it as an escape,” I finished. It was a logical conclusion. Hanji nodded. Avoiding pain wasn’t the way but he’d been desperate to get away and the internship had been the perfect opportunity. He’d grabbed his bags, boarded the plane and then… well, had to deal with me. Not a warm welcome by any means. He hadn’t even had the energy to get angry or look like he felt anything. I hadn’t known, hadn’t cared enough to see. It made me uncomfortable to realise it.
“Flew over a whole ocean and kept working,” Hanji proceeded. “He wanted something to distract himself with. When he ran out of work because he did overtime, he started calling home more often. Vague details were all he gave, but I got the feeling he had something else to work on.” Hanji’s words made a lopsided smile kiss my lips. He’d wanted to busy himself with my well-being, but I’d taken it the wrong way, as I often did. Nowadays the matter was often used against him but never by him – wasn’t that funny?
“Becoming the spoiled brat’s babysitter,” I filled in kindly, but Hanji’s disapproving frown meant to reproach along with the eloquent gesture of her crossing her arms. I didn’t regret the way I worded it. Eren, Annie, Mikasa and my mother had often tried to make me rethink my ways, but results were yet to manifest. This story, with me as the shitty protagonist most likely to be insufferable contrary to sympathy-inducing, portrayed reality as I saw it – and reality often neglected character development.
“He never called you either, but he did mention taking care of you had the same effect as working, if not better. I felt he might find himself a friend, so I supported him. I think I made the right choice. You have a lot in common,” Hanji declared. It struck a cord – did we really? Our arguments were fire lashing out at ice – not something that happened with people got along. Levi was hard to anger whereas I had a short fuse – everything was a personal insult. No easier target than a conceited paranoid.
“On the topic of that,” I piped. “How do you forget somebody?” The question was light-hearted. I decided to dismiss the whole story so I could ponder it later. Hanji’s brows furrowed as she smiled sympathetically. She couldn’t imagine the situation well enough. The question was I over Eren? had kept at a safe distance from my mind during my birthday vacation and the beginning of August only to assault it now with pitiless ire.
Things kept coming back when I least needed them. Thoughts of the twinkle in his teal eyes or the crooked smile he always wore before a kiss, the sound of his voice – the softness he’d told me he loved me with the first time, the haunting quiver in it when we were breaking up. I woke up at night with the howl of planes taking off and landing. On some mornings, I woke up, hoping to hear a knock at the door and see his face. Would he be more tan? Would his eyes be the same? Would his hair be styled differently? Would he have grown taller?
But, (Y/N), a voice would say in my head, people don’t grow taller just like that, it’s physically impossible.
Eren can, I’d argue, because Eren is my boyfriend and he can do anything if he puts his mind to it.
But Eren wasn’t my boyfriend and he wasn’t a miracle-maker. I’d sit in bed and argue with myself that Eren would come back, that I wanted the best for him and that wasn’t me, that we were done, but that he’d still come back. He never did. A small desperate part of me still hoped for the door to open – any door. Erwin Smith’s apartment’s front door right now, even. I could almost hear his footsteps going up the stairs. I swore I could. I turned to Hanji, a naïve question – can’t you? – flickering in my orbs. She didn’t catch it.
“I’m not an expert,” she said instead. “But Levi can be of help. His coping mechanisms aren’t the best example to follow, but he has a good head on his shoulders. He just doesn’t listen to it.” She might’ve thought, with how desperate I looked, that I might cry. She didn’t know pride would rather have me rip out of my tear ducts before that happened. I didn’t cry often or in many people’s presence. That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Hanji. But Annie and, unfortunately, Levi were the exceptions here. The latter was a mystery, probably my attempt to play a damsel in distress to ask for attention. Attention and help and fucking, might as well – a kiss. Couldn’t he just kiss me sometimes without me having to be in the middle of a mood?
“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t copy those coping mechanisms even if I wanted to. Work, sex and alcohol are never a good mix.” I let out an awkward string of laughter, weirded out by my abrupt disconnection from the conversation and how it turned my thoughts against me. I didn’t miss him that much. Also, he was coming home tomorrow. I had nothing to play the desperate whore for. There was the blondie. That wasn’t jealousy, though. I’d say it was my wish to prove myself better.
“Sex?” Hanji echoed with a conflicted expression.
“Sex with my father’s secretary. I think it was around May. He stormed out after calling her and came back drunk in the middle of the night,” I explained. The brown-haired woman took a second to process the story, then burst out in incredulous laughter. My brows twitched. “What’s so funny?” Was it something else or was I just weird for not thinking my father’s intern and secretary fucking the joke of the century?
“I remember him telling me about that,” she started, voice hinting at a new bout of cackling. “He went to her place for paperwork and she had her boyfriend over. They kept offering him drinks and he agreed to shut them up. Crossed the line at some point. He even got lost on his way back to the house.” I wanted to face-palm using the table and, hopefully, get myself into a coma. Was there a person on this Earth denser than me or was I a phenomenal idiot?
“Oh, God,” I muttered in a wheeze. “I’m so stupid.” Embarrassment and shame painted the tips of my ears bright crimson as I clenched my fists. Hanji patted my shoulder.
“You’re not stupid. I would’ve thought the same if I had no context. Levi would never just have a one-night stand, though. Not the type of person for it. He claims it’s the wrongest way to get over something.” Her brown eyes, previously fixed on me, were now directed at the coffee table. “Might work for you, but he most certainly hates it.” A snort was drawn from her lips as she withdrew her hand from my shoulder. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Hitch’s party, him refusing, refusing, refusing, because it would be “just like that” and “just like that” was a solution for neither of us.
“I’ll consider it,” I joked. “I was busy up until recently, but maybe university won’t be enough to distract me.” I smiled as Hanji chuckled, patting my back.
“Another boyfriend should do the trick in that case,” she said.
But I don’t want another boyfriend, I wanted to counter. I want your grumpy short friend. The thought froze me up. Asshole-me joined Hanji’s hearty chuckle. Bold of me to think it. Terrible of me to think it. Wrong of me to think it. It was complicated. If romance was not involved here, it was undeniable at this point. I could almost feel it written in capital letters on my forehead.
ATTRACTED TO LEVI ACKERMAN. VERY.
“I’m not ready for the commitment.” Was the only comment to exit my mouth due to the sudden discomfort nestling in the crevice of my ribcage. “I think,” I added awkwardly, reluctant regarding a relationship but very opinionated on the topic of engaging my father’s intern in something inappropriate that would make our relations twice as complicated as they were.
“A friend with benefits then?” Hanji’s mind-reading abilities amazed. I realised it suddenly – that it was natural, this attraction of mine, no matter how humiliating and inconvenient. It wasn’t weird and maybe it wasn’t all that wrong. It was a guy who was three years older than me who lived with me that I considered unreachable. The forbidden fruit, so to say. He was handsome, mysterious and had abs. Natural to be attracted to that. Natural to be attracted to it when I saw it every day and it saw me every day and most times it treated me with passive kindness. So there’d be no harm, I assumed, in initiating something a smidge bigger. What was stopping me? I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t feel guilty and I wasn’t insecure because, hey, he’d kissed me last time. Obviously, I wasn’t nasty.
“Update from a virgin to a slut then?” I smirked, a decision born. Hanji’s mouth clamped shut shamefully and I laughed. “I’m kidding, calm down. It was just a joke.” I patted her back. The ring on my finger was cool to the couch and soothing. My resolve, for once, was there. I had a goal. A simple one at that – nothing dangerous. Two words: kiss Levi. I would do it because there was nothing to stop me. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?
…
Imagine an elegant expensive kitchen armed with all kinds of top-quality appliances. Paradise for all little housewives who greet their husbands with a warm meal. I wasn’t that type and the fact I spent four hours cooking more food than a family of six could eat didn’t make me one either. Judging was futile because I took care of that myself during the whole process. Currently, the fruit of my effort sat in front of me – a full three-course meal with different forks to go with the high-class atmosphere. I was far from a successor of Gordon Ramsay, but I outdid myself this time. Why? Last-minute anxiety maybe. Or fear. I needed a distraction because the thought of Eren wouldn’t stop pestering me. Added to that was the fact my father could walk in without Levi. Asshole-me didn’t help.
Bet on the outcome now! A once-in-a-lifetime offer that provides an endless amount of entertainment for the whole family! Fifty bucks says a discount version of William will use the vanishing potion and fly back to France! The other side of the bet? Sorry, I don’t know her. With such a commentator, it was early to skip the food and go straight to consuming my fingernails. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Place your bets right now, your bets need to go in the ballot box, quickly fill out the slips and put them in! Will he go or yes? And what’s the sweat for, princess? Don’t we like watching history repeat itself? I love it. So bet, bet, bet, bet! Come on, faster! If I had a penny for each time your father’s intern left you in the summer, I’d have two pennies. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s hilarious it happened twice!
The jingle of keys pulled the plug on asshole-me’s voice. I’d waited a whole hour now and my head snapped up so fast I heard my neck pop. The front door opened and my heart flinched when my father walked in, dressed in one of those hideous Hawaiian shirts they sold in souvenir shops and flaunting on his nose and cheekbones a really bad case of sunburn. He’d say the sun was harsh in Minnesota. I’d pretend not to hear because believing was impossible. He slipped out of his sandals and I clasped my hands together in excitement.
“Dad, finally! I was starting to think I’d have to reheat everything,” I said. He turned to face the fake exasperation masking the genuine joy I felt at his return. A doubtful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and my eyes were frantically bouncing from him to the open door. Panic began to well up in my mind. Asshole-me was diligently digging a hole for it, to fit as much as possible.
“A pretty big feast you have there.” Rolland Raven took off the sunglasses he was wearing to eye the food a bit better. I cracked a smile I hoped wouldn’t seem constipated. My thought process was starting to lag due to overload when I heard a faint curse. Next thing, Levi’s pale figure, wearing a ridiculous straw hat. My heart dropped like a stone, plugged the pit of panic and made asshole-me yelp when it nearly crushed her fingers. I felt like stumbling back into my chair and never getting up.
“I guessed you might be hungry after the flight. You don’t have to eat all of it,” I said. It was then a pair of graphite hues shot up to my face. It felt like each muscle in it strained almost to the point of tearing. My father took a seat at the counter while the intern opted to drop off his luggage upstairs and change clothes. I stared after him a second too long while he was climbing the stairs.
“You’ve never waited for me after a business trip before.” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) as my father began picking his food and digging in with more enthusiasm than I’d expected. Levi had mentioned the almightly Raven had complained about the poor quality on the trip compared to what he had at home, but it was still a compliment to witness it manifested.
“I usually have things to do when you’re on business trips, father. This summer I needed a source of entertainment.” I rolled my eyes, letting them scan the interior during the roundabout lie. Lucky enough, they caught the exact moment Levi was leaving his room, tugging down his shirt. A glimpse of fit abdominals. A vague tan line. The food on the counter became a tad bit less appetising.
“Don’t you have Eren Jaeger to help with that?” My father’s question made my attention snap back in place just in time for Levi not to catch me staring. He took a seat at the far end of the counter but I was too preoccupied with a small freak-out fit to dwell on it.
“About that,” I squeaked out with a constipated expression, prompting both men’s attention to turn from half-hearted to wholly undivided. Amazing. I couldn’t have done a better job at it if I’d begun yodelling out of the blue. “Eren broke up with me two months ago.” The key to not sounding like a squeaky toy was to not meet anybody’s gaze. My father was blinking like something had gotten in his eye and Levi’s jaw clenched at the discomfort he was subjected to.
“And I wasn’t notified of that because?” Rolland Raven, among many a quality, was a proud man who, in spite of his profession, could never act quite as predictably as I wished him to. This was no exception because I didn’t have time to open my mouth before he silenced me with a hand in the air. “No, forget I asked. I need to have a serious talk with him. Maybe make him pay back all the dates you’ve handled with interest. We can make a fortune.” The devious plan was voiced in his typical cold-blooded businessman manner. I waved my hands around in discomfort.
“Hold your horses, father. You’re not the one who got dumped. Eren ended the whole thing because he went to study in Germany,” I explained but it wouldn’t satisfy my father, who only glared while putting a fork-full of potatoes in his mouth. Levi tried to become fully invisible. I thought if things got too heated for him, he might make a dash for his room with the dish.
“Unreasonable as can be. If he loved you as much as he had the balls to claim in front of me, he could’ve thought of an alternative that didn’t include breaking your heart. Because of something as insignificant as distance, too.” My father leaned back in his chair with folded arms. He forgot all about food so he could glare at me.
“4898 miles to be exact,” I murmured pitifully. Both men shot me an incredulous look, to which I switched on defence mode. “I did my research. I wasn’t crying the whole time.” Subconsciously copying my father’s position, I reclined in my chair and crossed my arms, glaring like a child prior to giving a sigh and smiling weakly. “I gave it a lot of thought and he did the right thing. So can you be the one to tell mom later?” The last inquiry seemed to surprise him, maybe because it was expected of me to share more with my mother and thus already have her know the super secret information I was handing him.
“I’ll try not to cry as I do.” A nod and a similar weak smile. “You did well not to tell me immediately.” He returned to normal – calculating and sharp, looking for weaknesses and thinking in numbers. Levi’s lack of shock went unnoticed, which I was secretly thankful for. The raven was looking at me playing with the silver band around my finger to soothe my nerves.
“Because you would’ve gone to the airport to kick him to the curb like a good father?” I smirked, a pointed look aimed at the dark-haired businessman, who only snorted in return prior to redirecting his attention back to the food.
“… maybe.” A small pause betraying care, an awkward glance in his intern’s direction conveying mild panic as a result of his feelings showing and a fake clearing of the throat to show discomfiture. He changed the topic immediately. “Have I told you you’ve become a better cook than your mother?” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) and I knew he could see I was holding back laughter by the way the corner of his mouth twitched downwards in displeasure.
“You have now. Congratulations on successfully dodging the topic,” I announced with a complacent grin as he scoffed, ignoring the embarrassment so he could go back to eating. Levi’s gaze was relentless but, once having resolved the current minor conflict, I felt too ashamed to return it. I couldn’t be speaking of Eren, thinking of Levi and acting like a professional whore. It went against my moral code. I wished it was as stable as my pride. Somewhere in my head, asshole-me was drafting an advertisement for the future demise of both.
The following day was unexpectedly laid back in terms of emotions – the process of waking up and going to work was starting to become mechanical. I disliked that I was turning into a nine-to-five zombie, but Melinda’s cross remarks did nothing to hinder my placidity and Adam’s request for a date was, surprisingly, accepted with a pinch of reluctance. It was time for something new, I defended when asshole-me breached the topic of my change of heart. I couldn’t go a whole life without clashing with a man who wasn’t Eren. To forget him, I actually needed to accept that. Because knowing he wouldn’t come back and I didn’t want to get back together was different from realising I couldn’t stay in the comfort zone of being endlessly attached to him and using it as an excuse to never move on.
I felt a smile light up my face the moment I saw Levi in front of the TV with a cup of tea in his hand. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use him to move on – it was the conclusion I drew from the quiet happiness gripping my heart at the sight of him beckoning me over. Everything I’d done had been quite enough. I wouldn’t turn him into a tool as well. So I settled on the couch and we led a half-assed conversation about the movie playing until my parents barged in, beaming and formal. Going for a date at a restaurant – yeah, no, I knew where they were going after. I smiled as we sent them off, and then the ebony-haired intern began choosing the movie we’d be watching and I worked on the snacks downstairs.
Accepted a date, claimed you won’t use him and now you’re pondering the kiss you’ll initiate. You know you’re fucked in the head, correct? Asshole-me piped mockingly, making me huff. I knew I was fucked in the head because she was there. Also, kissing Levi and using Levi were two different things. Different for him how? It’s kissing. It wasn’t. It would be exploring this time – not thinking about being distracted but feeling it for what it was. Jesus, that’s such a weak excuse. I felt she might be face-palming. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You spent so much time telling your best friend you don’t like him, then you miss Eren, then you “date” Adam, then you grab your friend-zoned intern and decide you’ll be kissing him again – after you established you’re fucking inferior to the blondie who’s clearly hitting on him or clearly intent on doing it too. Can you not follow the timeline?
“Princess, why does Natalie tell me you’ve filled out all the forms related to the company’s income during our vacation?” Levi lowered the phone from his ear. The call had ended a second ago and he was glaring at me doubtfully. I was busy watching the movie – hopefully, excuse enough for scarce to no eye contact. I opened the pack of Doritos I’d dug up from my secret stash in the garage and warily eyed the pale intern’s expression.
“Because the forms were in the office downstairs and I figured they’d get in the way of our movie marathon, asshole. I haven’t messed them up.” My scoff was promptly returned to sender as Levi shoved his phone back in his pocket and clicked his tongue in exasperation. Another three minutes passed before I spoke up: “By the way, I need advice.” The room was dimly lit and the raven’s sharp gaze was on my temple.
“Will you have it in mind when you get back on your bullshit?” The inquiry was flat and doubtful. I tried to nod but it came out looking like a cringe and a shrug. His lips pursed in exhaustion. “Spill,” he ordered coldly, making me pout.
“How do I forget Eren?” Squeaky was the best I could do after becoming tense again. Nervousness was gnawing at the feeble stem of courage I’d managed to grow and my hopes for this to go as smoothly as a chat about the weather were stuck in an elevator on the top floor of a skyscraper. Even overthinking was useless here.
“Easy,” he said. Again, there was that breach of grammar. “Find somebody new. Judging by how much you’re smiling these days, you might as well be done with that.” The suspicious mockery made me snort.
“Don’t you think I might be happy to have you and dad back home?” I asked pointedly.
“No,” he countered with a defiant click of his tongue. What he said next sounded like an extract from a Jorge Bucay book. Something about self-love maybe. “Before you get with Rivers, however, you have to accept that Jaeger is now your ex. He’s part of the past and the past doesn’t hold power over the future if you don’t let it.” I bit back laughter to not offend him.
“Such a poet you are,” I huffed half-heartedly. “And how do I stop loving him?” Seriousness stood perched on my right shoulder, but the Doritos between us kept decreasing and I felt the soothing coolness of the ring on my finger. Our gazes locked and I stared, just because I could, because he was back, because he acted normally. And why wouldn’t he? Our circumstances surely weren’t enough to alter his demeanour.
“You don’t. You never will and you should get used to it.” His answer cut deep and I realised it might’ve confused me but I was too captivated by his eyes to process it. He forced himself to explain: “We never stop loving somebody once we’ve fallen for them. We just fall harder for another person.” It was as romantic as it was businessman-like. A bit too… systematic somehow.
Line up, line up! Asshole-me encouraged. I imagined a big queue in front of an entrance door with a sign bearing my name above it. Number 12, pass through, but beware – number 10 wasn’t careful with his words and number 11 made no effort to change that! The asshole side of me clearly fancied the idea. For all waiting, the Eren Jaeger mural is on the left and the guy on the right is the one you’ll never be! Keep trying but keep this face in mind – Levi Ackerman is hiding in a lot of the corners you’ll visit! He’s an invaluable guest at this establishment! Oh! Is it time for the next one already? Hurry up, number 13! Don’t hold up the queue, who knows how much capacity we have left. And so on until the last victim had walked in. It made my nose scrunch up.
“Does that mean you still haven’t gotten over Petra?” I piped curiously, bright eyes observing closely the intern’s reaction. The movie was no longer as interesting. Everything I could focus on was the furrow between Levi’s brows and the flat unperturbed look in his eyes. He grabbed a Dorito from the pack. I moved my hand away just in time to avoid a clash.
“It means I haven’t fallen in love with the next in line,” he said, reinforcing the notion of a queue. “I’m used to the fact she’d dead. Filling out every report in the world won’t bring her back,” he paused briefly and gulped, “so I go on with my life.” The explanation was simple but relatively quiet, like he was trying to say the words while not exactly aiming to have me hear them. His gaze was staring at the screen ahead as I looked down, trying to come up with a good one-liner to put him out of his discomfort.
“I feel like we’re becoming pensive,” I started with a lopsided smirk, “so let me pull a Reverse Uno card on this mood by saying I’ve reached a milestone in my life.” Licking the Dorito dust off my fingers, I puffed out my chest proudly, making the intern put a hand to his mouth. Maybe he’d bitten back a smile behind it. “I won’t get fined for driving without supervision now. Not to mention, I can have sex.” Waving an index finger in front of his face, I didn’t react when he grabbed it without warning.
“I don’t see what stopped you before,” he stated nonchalantly. I shrugged, concluding I hadn’t exactly shared with him details about my childish vow.
“There was this really religious teacher at school when I was ten – she scarred all her classes by giving them unsolicited Sex Education lectures mixed with Bible verse. Got fired because children complained to their parents, but she did a good one on me before that,” I explained with a smile, yanking my finger from his hold. “Since sex was for sinners – both began with the letter s, she explained to us – and I didn’t want to be a sinner because it meant… well, a bad person, I told myself I’d have sex only after turning eighteen, regardless of the temptation. So I held out. Proud of myself for that.” My complacent smile made him snort. He might’ve glanced at my lips right after.
“I’m sure there’s been a lot of temptation for you, princess,” he drawled in a deep sarcastic voice, moving the empty bag of Doritos away before wiping his fingers with as I processed the retort. I sat still, pouting for a fraction of a second, when it hit me this was my chance. The signal was there – shining in bright green, if I wasn’t color-blind – and it was time for me to grasp the opportunity.
“More than you can imagine, asshole,” I said with a scoff, not parting my eyes from his profile to observe his reaction. We cast aside the fact he could’ve poked fun at me being the furthest thing from a believer, yet such a big aspect of my life had been altered by a religious teacher. The tip of his nose twitched when he snorted in dismissal, not daring to meet my eye all of a sudden.
“The mood has been brightened. What do we do now?” He turned to face me, curious but hesitant, and I felt a surge of courage at the sight of the indecisiveness dawdling about in his grey eyes. The blue specks were calling me – count us, (Y/N), count us – and I concluded this would be the one time I initiated anything between us. It was stressful and scary, but it was Levi, so want overpowered fear, resulting in something we’d have a hard time sorting out our feelings on.
“Watch the movie you so diligently picked for us maybe?” But actions contradicted words because I was leaning in and he could see it. For two whole seconds, there was no movement on his end. Panic was about to make me pull back, pin it to something else, anything else, when his hand lifted, slender fingers gently tucking my hair behind my ear. This was it. It would happen. I was exploring what it’d be like without the guilt of purposefully seeking distraction.
It was slow – the first kiss – his lips barely landing on top of mine so we could taste the water even when we knew it was lukewarm. The movie was like white noise – I could catch fragments of dialogue and the screen illuminated Levi’s profile the few times my lids fluttered open. His hold on the side of my face was gentle, granting permission for me to pull back at any point. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew I was barely thinking and it felt nice, for my head to be so blissfully empty. It was all sensations and when he dragged his tongue over my bottom lip, my mouth opened to allow access for further exploration. The kiss deepened and I tried to push closer into him.
“Get on top,” he muttered into my mouth. His right hand dipped to grab my leg. I might’ve flushed bright red, but I still complied, slowly straddling him and letting his hands guide me to where he found it most comfortable. I was terribly aware of what I sat on. It might’ve been terribly aware of me, too.
It was slow and fast at the same time. We weren’t breaking the kiss but some moments of it – like his hand brushing my side and making me cover in goosebumps – were fleeting like blinks while others – like the weird scorching thing in my whole torso – felt endless. It was indescribable to a point, the heat of the moment but the moment was long and the pace was changing slightly the more it went on. It hadn’t been him either. It was him responding to me, because I couldn’t for the life not hold him tightly and subconsciously look for more. We were glued together and his fingers had tentatively pushed up my shirt at the back so they could trail up and down the curve of my spine.
My head was tilted, fingers tangled in his hair and heavy huffs escaping my nostrils. He smelled like lavender and rain and cologne, and my fucking conditioner I’d told him a thousand times to stop using because it was expensive. I didn’t bother scolding him about it now. My desperate want turned the kisses hungrier and there was this point – I might’ve wiggled slightly to find an even closer spot – but he stiffened and grabbed the back of my head, growing twice as persistent and passionate. Weird, using that word about him. It hit me the forbidden part of male anatomy I was seated on top of had risen to attention. It made me wonder if it had happened before and that, in turn, was simultaneously embarrassing and flattering. He was attracted to me, too. Duh. We were literally making out on my bed.
When more began translating as more of everything instead of more of this particular thing, he seemed to sense the shift. His hands guided me off his lap and back on the bed. My head was resting against the pillow and my head was empty, lids fluttering open to drink the sight of him the first time he broke the kiss – pale but handsome, tired but caring, bored but clearly moved by the happening. It was a miracle. I’d been begging for this statue to show me anything in the beginning of his internship. I hadn’t known it could show me this – it looked like a godsend. My heart was going a hundred miles per hour, my breath was unsteady and my body felt hot all over.
It didn’t matter where he kissed – my lips, my neck, my chest, my shoulders – I just wanted him to keep kissing me. Temptation had seldom been this strong and the vow was no longer active, it was fulfilled – an electrifying realisation. I didn’t need to have him stop. What my sinner’s hands did the moment that resolution snapped in place was to grab the hem of his shirt and, with pointed urgent eyes, plead with him to take it off. He hesitated for exactly one second, then complied, like he’d complied with everything else without having me say it. He was kneeling between my legs, arms going over his head so the piece of clothing could be discarded. His chest and abdomen flexed, the biceps, the triceps, all the other names of muscles I’d had to read about but hadn’t memorised. Adonis in the flesh. Fuck me for drooling. Oh.
If I could paint, I’d paint him. If I could sing, I’d write a song. If I had a taser, I’d tase myself out of being so cringe-worthy in admiring the body of a man. But when that body pressed against mine, everything became a bit too hot – literally and metaphorically – so I decided the next step was to cool down by taking off my own clothes. First the shirt, then the pants he helped out with. I almost laughed when they tangled at my ankles and he had to tug them off with an irritated frown. Here it was, having my father’s intern see my bra again. This time I didn’t mind.
“Frills? Seriously?” Well, now I minded.
“Do we have an issue?” I snapped with a pointed look. It didn’t help he was towering over me, sizing up my underwear with eyes that spoke simultaneously of him being amused and him being something else. I wondered if he was still hard. I hadn’t touched there once.
“It’s almost cute,” he mocked flatly. He didn’t reach to take it off – he just leaned down to mollify me with a kiss. It worked. I was carried off into wanting more again. The weight of him on top of me grounded the body and made the soul soar. It was a cringe comparison but whatever, it was true. I realised, right about the time I tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants and his brows flashed in unrestrained surprise, that I was an eighteen-year-old doing exactly what was expected of every single eighteen-year-old on the planet – sneaking a boy into my room while my parents were out.
This here was a boy I trusted and a boy I was halfway convinced was more of a man than a boy, mostly when it came to observing how he casually sat up and removed his sweatpants with precision contrary to clumsiness. My eyes flickered down to his boxers. Still hard alright. There was a rush of excitement and shame all at once when I realised it. A bit too late to stop and pin this a mere heat-of-the-momet make-out session. It was the real deal. Happening. Live. In my room. On a late August evening. Goodness gracious.
It took me a second to process it and he might’ve sensed that I’d grown a bit rigid despite remaining just as active. He didn’t advance the happening, petting my hair and kissing me, and trailing lower, but only as low as he’d gone before, finding the rest a sort of forbidden land. Didn’t even take off the bra with the frills he mocked me for. What a gentleman. He was kissing the curve of my breast and I was wondering how in the fucking hell I’d deserved this.
“We don’t have to,” he warned at some point. “If you don’t want to. Saying no is allowed.” He kissed me and it was intoxicating, but also the last snapped nerve. I arched my back off the bed, elbows bending so my hands could reach for my bra clip. The shoulder straps went loose and Levi paused for a moment to process what the act meant.
“I won’t say it,” I muttered with determination, eyes locked with his. Pride was strong within me even now and, having the wordless consent, he gently took off the bra before paying some attention to newfound territory. It was like being examined in a lab. Again, my boobs weren’t perfect. It was genetics and fate, and whatever else. In being embarrassed about him staring at my chest, I was graced by the thought I hadn’t shaved anywhere. Double embarrassed. Wasn’t it only right that the first time would come with presentability? There go the Raven teachings.
And the word nipple is somewhat lame – I’ve heard it from native and non-native speakers of English both – but there is no other word. So when his tongue rolled around my nipple, I forgot I hadn’t shaved and drew such a sharp breath I almost choked. My chest was heaving and he was thumbing my other nipple. I thought we’d get straight to it and was mistaken. He knew better, it seemed, because a virgin needed the bare minimum of this much and more foreplay to truly relax. It hit me for a fraction that this was actual foreplay while I was staring at the ceiling between trying not to make any sounds. I was like a dead fish, just letting him do things to me. More responsive than a dead fish but awfully inexperienced in any case. It made me feel just a bit guilty. My one saving grace was the fact his erection kept brushing against my leg – and if that was there, then it meant he wasn’t dissatisfied.
It was a black spot for a while because I couldn’t pinpoint between the overwhelming build-up of nice but not nice enough where exactly Levi was kissing or sucking or nipping or touching. Now it would be my thigh, now leaving a hickey on my shoulder, now trailing kisses over my jaw and down my neck, now caressing my side, now trailing a finger down to my navel, now my boob, intermission, the other boob – and the whole time there was that thing in my abdomen, the same one I’d felt with Eren, the hot knot begging for attention.
This was a new person and I hadn’t thought it’d come with a new person, but it was there alongside a brand new dynamic which wasn’t hurried or harsh or overtly passionate like I’d been used to. The pace was decent and steady and passion here didn’t amount to bruises – or at least not explicitly so. The new person made it thrilling, overwhelming. The new person made it a brand new experience. And when the brand new person’s hand gently dipped to touch the part where my legs met, I shivered all over, heart and lady boner flinching at once. Levi, with his obstinacy, refused to ask permission vocally. I still nodded, spreading my legs a bit wider. Slowly, like my panties weren’t in the way, he kissed from my knee to the base of my inner thigh, nipped slightly and made me yelp, and muffled something like a chuckle against the plush of my leg.
I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew his fingers pressing against the spot where wetness had accumulated made my mouth gape slightly. I craned my neck and closed my eyes. There was embarrassment holding hands with excitement, with pleasure breathing down their necks. Nothing quite mattered. I breathed out like I’d been holding my breath for fourteen minutes when the raven’s fingers gently dragged back and forth against my core and then he might’ve been impatient, because he tugged my underwear out of the way, down my legs, past the knees and the ankles, dropping it with the rest of our clothes and the empty Dorito bag on the floor. It was a whole mess, this thing. I wanted it.
“The house is empty, princess,” he said while leaning down to kiss below my navel.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, almost out of breath in spite of my lungs functioning perfectly. His fingers were ghosting on the side of where I wanted him to touch. His mouth dragged lower. There was the jab of shame about not being shaved again. It hadn’t sent him to his feet and out of the room, so it was probably fine. A man wasn’t afraid to fight the jungle, I’d heard a few times before.
“That you can make noise without being scared,” he responded casually. I snorted and decided inwardly that I wouldn’t be making any noise whatsoever, just to spite him. It did feel good, though, so I doubted I could actually hold back effectively. As though to challenge the unsaid decision, Levi cut the suspense short. When his tongue rested where only one other had before, I came close to whining. My hand shot down to paw at his hair and he hummed against my clit. The vibrations of it made me writhe slightly.
He licked and sucked – nipped twice, which made me yelp both times – and did all sorts of other magic. Added to the title of mind-reader would now be the rank of mage. Then, there was this point when I could feel his fingers prodding at my entrance – a gentle warning of what was to come. First it was one. My mouth gaped and there was a slight flash of something like pain. More like discomfort. Now this was brand new wherever I looked at it from. Remember, my vow had its doors but none had included penetration. Officially the furthest I’d gone with somebody. Goodbye, hymen. You served us well.
He waited. Waited almost a full minute and distracted me with his tongue before I rolled my hips to give him the green light. Slow pumps. It was still uncomfortable, but the friction wasn’t painful. Just uncomfortable and new and I didn’t like change, but when this one found with its finger one particular spot sold off as the Bermuda Triangle for men to find, I might’ve liked this particular change. First, it made me moan. Second, the more he kept reaching that spot – because it was impossible to miss I liked it – the closer I was to coming. There were sloppy sounds and a second finger inserting itself in me, and my voice bouncing off the walls before dropping to the floor in a hush.
I might’ve said his name, actually, I might’ve half-screamed it. The orgasm hit me like a brick dropping straight on my genitals and he kept flicking his tongue slower and slower until I’d ridden it out in full. How considerate. When his fingers came out, there was a spot of blood. My mouth clamped shut in shame. He reached over to clean them with a wet wipe – then he cleaned me, too, because obviously he could see things that were invisible to me. There was slick on his chin and I glared half-heartedly when his eyes twinkled in amusement at me.
“Well, that’s done,” I muttered while he leaned over with the intention to kiss me again. “Wipe your mouth, asshole.” I put a hand to his chest to prevent my own pussy juices from coming in contact with my face. For a clean-freak, he sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get them off.
“You don’t want to see how tasty it is?” He was mocking me. I was red and hot all over still, a bit like a deflated balloon being refilled with exasperation contrary to air. No longer a virgin, as far as doctors would care. Still kind of in the middle, considering typical hetero interactions included something more than fingers.
“God, no!” I tried to push at his jaw and he almost chuckled when the pussy juice got on my fingers and I flicked my wrist frantically to get it off.
“It was god, yes a second ago,” he drawled pointedly. I burned bright red under his gaze, naked and not a hymen-bearer and kind of lost as to what came next. I pouted, swatted his shoulder and pretended to be very disgusted when he kissed me, making it open-mouted and sloppy for the sake of spiting me. In truth, it didn’t taste like much. Tasted weird, unlike food and drink. Well, that’s bodily fluids for you.
Remember the right-est choice I made as of late? Here it comes. The kiss guided his fingers down to my clit again and mine – to the band of his boxers. A tug and a snap, and he asked me three whole fucking times if I was sure. Not verbally, of course. It was just the particular way he stopped between each step to make sure, to look at me straight in the eye and have me nod my consent back to him. Like I’d change my mind that fast. God’s sake – if I would’ve said no, I would’ve said it before we’d kissed. But this wasn’t something he would do under normal circumstances – not a matter of alcohol, guilt or duty. It was free will and choice. Mine might’ve been made sometime last month, right around my birthday.
The boxers were gone. I blinked at it. A penis in textbooks, a dick in colloquial speech, a cock in smut books, a member in tame erotica. Length, girth, meat sword, love machine – could go on forever. We sat staring at it like it was an alien and while I was bashful, I was also bad with measurements without the aid of a ruler, hence why I safely concluded that I could stack about four donuts on it and put the zipper on it. There was that thing – precum, was it? – leaking from the tip. In all honesty, no I didn’t want to lick it off. Same went for sperm. In the history of mankind, I’d done the gracious thing and sucked off my boyfriend exactly once – the rest had been handjobs because blowjobs came with terrible pains in the jaw, a cramping of the tongue, a crap salty taste and the awkward detail of looking like an unattractive fish during the act. So, no, I didn’t volunteer to show off how bad I was at it.
“Condoms, shit.” It flew out of my mouth unintentionally. Levi’s face scrunched up. We were both visited by the bitter realisation that going further was not an option anymore, unless he wanted to don on a sock. Then the solution came to me. “Keep it up, I’ll be back in a minute,” I mumbled hurriedly, jumping off the bed and rushing butt-naked out of the room so I could go to my parents’ bedroom. Yeah, no, such was the reality of things. I tried to keep my conscience untainted while rummaging through the wardrobe. The hidden box of condoms in the back by the shoes was the saving grace. I wouldn’t speak of this to a living soul that wasn’t Annie Leonheardt ever.
The moment I returned to the room with the box held proudly over my head, Levi snorted. He laid me on the bed again and the mood returned, which was weird because I’d pinned him the type of experience one moment of interruption and consider it all ruined. Not that I’d thought about him during sex or having sex. I hadn’t. I promise. I was thinking it now, when I was about to have it with him. The kisses eased the natural awkwardness and by the time he was putting it in, I was a desperate mess again. Sweat stuck to skin and my breath got stuck in my throat when he pushed it in. I blanked, gaped like I’d received a headshot and felt him stand still to let me adjust. There was, again, mild discomfort. Fingers couldn’t compare to a dick.
I gave it half a minute and told him to move. The first thrust had me whining into his mouth. It was good. It was good, progressively becoming better and better and better, a surprise arriving with each snap of his hips. My father’s intern having sex with me, my father’s intern, my father’s intern, my intern, my Levi. The first five minutes were full of careful slow strokes to let the awkwardness dissipate and for me to get used to it. I won’t call myself anything but I’ll say I got used to it a bit too fast for comfort. So it went. Losing my virginity to my father’s intern.
“Faster, can you--- a bit faster?” The words were choked out and you’d wonder why I would ask for faster when slow was doing a good job of making my chest heave like I was running a marathon, but it was maddening and addictive.
“I can for you, princess.” It was a rasp against the side of my neck and I was blanking because the voice, paired with the hands, with the scent, with the sensation of being full and empty, then full and empty again was so mind-numbing I could melt on the spot and stay there forever. So slow and careful turned into fast and considerate. There was no harshness in him even when he kneaded my boobs or licked stripes down the length of my throat, no harshness whatsoever when he gripped my thighs or my sides. It was tight, but pleasant, egging me on further.
I bit down on the pillow when he found the spot. I bit his finger, too. I bit his shoulder and I bit my own hand to keep my voice down because how was something on this Earth allowed to be so nice? Fuck. He murmured at me to moan if I felt like it. There was a smug undertone. And when he reached between us to roll circles around my clit, I didn’t moan – I was a banshee impersonator, neck craning, back arching, toes curling, all that jazz. I came with a crash and a bang, and it might’ve been an hour by now, or maybe more, but the neighbourhood was asleep and I was wide awake, trying to wake them up, too.
A five-minute break of kisses served as an intermission to avoid me becoming overstimulated but Levi was still hard and still quite energetic in spite of the fact he’d been fucking me for an overall of thirty minutes without stopping or having his pace hitch. Round two started fast and I had my legs up, knees on the sides of my head. It was hot, seeing him through that kind of frame. Just one bead of sweat on his temple – not sticky all over, unlike me. Why was I the one becoming exhausted anyway? I was being a pillow princess. His eyes were gorgeous and his lips were slightly swollen.
“Please, don’t stop,” I whined at some point. He didn’t seem to have any prospects of stopping anyway, but I couldn’t help it. He huffed, chest heaving with lust and I knew it wasn’t easy to be the one doing all the work, so I mentally gave credit where credit was due. “Oh--- Levi, God!” He seemed like he wanted to laugh and my ring glimmered in the dark against his cheek while I tried to pull him down for a kiss which was simply impossible in our current position. He switched it five minutes later. It was not an understatement to claim I was seeing stars and everything was nice and nothing was awkward and this was the most handsome man with the most stamina on this land.
I lost my voice at some point, or I thought I did because my third orgasm couldn’t make me bite down on the pillow fast enough to muffle the literal holler that left my lungs. His name, by the way. If that hadn’t woken the neighbours, I wasn’t sure anything would. I was recuperating and he was trailing gentle pecks along my neck, still not finished. Was sex always this physically draining? My mind might’ve blanked during the third round and we were in missionary again because I insisted that I be able to kiss him any time I wished to. His hand was holding my wrist captive and the other was massaging my breast and it was all a giant whirlpool of pleasure and heat and fluids – the nasty and the nice in one, but I couldn’t care less about the nasty.
He came with a growl, biting down on my shoulder to muffle something that sounded like my name as his pace hitched and turned sloppy for the first time in what felt like hours. He slumped down on top of me and I was breathing more heavily than him, calmed by the weight. I was blinking at the ceiling and my heart was doing somersaults in my ribcage. He went to shower after a minute of rest, I called him out for being a clean freak and it just so happened that my perception of time wasn’t all too warped because checking my phone made me realise we’d had sex for about three hours, foreplay included. I slipped into the shirt he’d tossed on the floor, wiped myself and very considerately ignored the soreness in my hips while changing the sheets.
To my biggest surprise, he returned to my room in a new pair of boxers with his hair wet. There was no invitation. He joined me on the clean bed and wrapped his arms around me. This might’ve been aftercare. When our gazes locked, I didn’t dare avert my eyes in bashfulness. It was surreal and I wanted to memorise it. Then he asked me again – as voicelessly as the first time and the following ten – and I answered positively by flashing him the biggest smile I could muster. No words were exchanged. Levi rolled his eyes and I tucked myself under his chin, legs tangling with his. I was knocked out cold. I wouldn’t hasten to write this off as a happy ending but I wouldn’t immediately turn it angsty either. I explored. It was nice. I don’t think I regretted it for a second.
Waking up was a surreal experience because it included the added luxury of being bathed in sunlight with a warm arm draped around my midriff and a pale sunlit face inches from mine. A spot of purple in the crook of his neck and a few red crescents on his shoulder. Perhaps one or two leftover scratches on his back. I blinked at the sight incredulously, gradually coming to and realising what this position meant – prompted by last night’s three different ones, too.
It happened! Asshole-me hollered in my head, nearly hysteric, slamming a pan into a bell and making the echo of the toll ring painfully against the confines of my skull. You ruined it all! It was like an automatic switch – suddenly, the neutral was the bad and I had complicated it with my impulsiveness, my stupid hormones. I imagined four months of awkwardness and the wish to have more but being completely incapable of asking for fear it would mean feelings. I pictured a tense atmosphere, uncomfortable interactions, embarrassing thoughts, lame excuses. A friendship built with struggle and just barely reinforced annihilated to smithereens by my dumb ass.
I cringed, removing my hand from Levi’s chest to slap myself across the face for being horrible again – not in using him but in indulging my own selfishness. His eyelids fluttered open before the admonishment transpired and I was staring straight into the melted silver which had the tendency to read my thoughts. The current self-reprimanding cacophony would entertain him.
“… should make you coffee,” he mumbled half-coherently, making me blink wondrously at his hazy composure. This is normal, his eyes whispered, lips pressing nonchalantly to my forehead before he got up, so there’s no need to be so shocked. The trip down the stairs was silent. I had left scratches. More than two.
Currently, we were in the kitchen, sitting around the counter with our mandatory morning drinks. Unsaid words hung from the ceiling like dangling cobwebs. Levi, who’d needed a moment to retrieve his memories in full, was stiff and uncertain, and in spite of that visibly calmer than me. I could feel my face heating up as I thought of what to say. This wasn’t normal, even if both of us upon our respective awakening had pinned it such. It was something we had to discuss but how were we supposed to discuss sex when we sometimes fought over food? Deciding what to do seemed impossible.
“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” The raven, of course, was the one who broke the silence while I was slurping on my coffee, gaze averted and heart beating erratically. “Princess, I’m afraid this is something important,” he said in the face of my silence. His piercing glare was on my temple but I wouldn’t turn, keeping my fingers glued to my cup and my mind grounded in panic. “Need I remind you exactly what happened?” Levi pressed additionally, husky voice raising in audible urgency. I felt completely and utterly naked – dressed in only his shirt and my own underwear.
“We had sex, that’s what happened.” I shrugged, mind preoccupied with the strange feeling eating its way into it. Deep into my stomach, up to my lungs, through the chambers of the heart, in the windpipe – but not painfully. “There’s nothing more to it.” The nonchalant statement didn’t get a warm welcome. That much was to be expected. The attractive intern was frowning, rubbing his temples with a frustrated sigh. I tried not to look at his fingers.
And I’m trying to do just that, asshole-me scoffed pointedly. There’s something different about them when they’ve been inside you last night, yeah? A good type of different. Imagine it. My shoulders tensed as I chased her around in my head with a frying pan. Levi ran a hand through his ebony locks. Wow, is that the sex hair? And I pursed my lips in displeasure, knowing the struggles of the current moment and choosing in spite of them to secretly a wish for a second time. No harm, you know, no harm whatsoever in wanting to fuck your father’s goddamn intern, yeah? No? Can you hear it? Does it sound like a good sentence? Does it?
“Where exactly does your lacking virginity fit into your nothing more to it?” His retort made me cringe, well aware of the virginity ace hidden up his imaginary sleeve. It was a bit harder to argue with him when he was half-naked, letting me see the spots I’d bitten and kissed. The situation: we’d had sex. My side: I had nothing against him being my first because I trusted him and he’d been experienced and careful enough to make it nice. The actual problem: he was my father’s intern.
The abstract part: intimacy often came with, well… intimacy. Casual sex had the advantage of not seeing your partner again afterwards and in our case, we’d had casual sex with somebody we saw daily. Future speculation: tension due to this adventure would brew either discord or twice the ferocity in repeating the adventure. A possible solution: talking about feelings. Additional issue: Levi and I talking about feelings? Not in this day and age. Not in this life either. Telling him he made me feel warm and appreciated? Impossible. Honesty in the face of something embarrassing? Sorry, I don’t know her. She must be really lame.
“Everywhere, because I don’t care for it. It might add complexity to your situation, but it doesn’t play a big role in mine.” Dismissing the whole of it and pinning it on him was wrong. My nonchalance was false. Maybe it was what made him take a deep breath prior to speaking up again, his tea untouched.
“You’re supposed to be freaking out, princess.” His eyes were on mine and asshole-me was screaming: Come on, do it! Just kiss him and make things worse! Go right ahead! I averted my gaze with a snort. He’d used my nickname last night. Added a shade of meaning to it. I tried to get a grip as my rational side reasoned with the situation. This had been a one-time thing – or at least for him. Following that train of thought, wanting more was useless.
“You think I’m not?” It was high-pitched and ludicrous. Memories were surfacing and it was somewhat unpleasant to think they wouldn’t repeat. Levi kissing me in the dark, almost saying my name, clearing the hair from my sweaty forehead, biting my neck as he came, smiling against my lips as I tugged on his hair and tried not to moan, holding me close afterwards, not once saying the wrong thing. “I’m freaking out. You just don’t see it.” My downcast gaze was thoughtful and the air was becoming heavier with something I couldn’t identify. I could feel him staring and it bugged me not to know what he was thinking. “What?” I snapped, refraining from playing with my ring.
“What do you want to do now?” He asked flatly, eyes pinning me in place. “Do you want me to pretend this didn’t happen or do you want us to keep going?” It was ridiculous hearing him say it because, usually, he wouldn’t. I blinked, thinking I’d misheard.
“Keep going as in keep having sex?” I echoed to make sure I’d understood. It might’ve gone out a bit more shocked than expected, which made him sigh.
“I was listing options. In the end, it all comes down to what you want.” The flat voice made me realise I knew what I wanted well enough to have chosen during the conversation with Hanji three days ago or maybe even before I’d had the courage to admit it to myself.
“I don’t know what I want,” I lied with a pointed look, vehement embarrassment clawing up my throat and scratching at the back of it. I could say I wanted to keep going – his offer meant he might be willing – but his response was a fifty-fifty on whether he was sexually frustrated or would rather stick to decorum while living in the same house as the girl he was fucking and her father. I couldn’t turn the question on him because it was mean. I couldn’t call it a mistake because that would be another lie. I was tired of lying when it didn’t go to protect my pride.
“You don’t?” He quirked a thin brow mockingly, feigning the surprise he didn’t feel. “Or you just don’t want to admit your favour the more embarrassing option?” I sat motionless, knowing this wasn’t what I should’ve been doing – considering it. Maybe this was a test he had for me – to see if I’d be dumb or act like a reasonable adult. But (there came that stupid word again) if Hanji had been right, this wasn’t a random hook-up, which meant there might be something and---
Are you seriously considering a relationship with somebody who’s leaving in less than four months? Asshole-me interjected, making me sigh in defeat. Doesn’t fuck randomly, okay, fine, but this is an exception. How in the fucking hell would he grow to like you? You know that’s impossible. Methinks he went along with it because you clearly wanted it. Think about it, he does all sorts of bullshit for you. So what sounds more plausible? Him being himself or him liking you? The former, of course, but I couldn’t admit it. Like I couldn’t admit he was right to say I favoured the more embarrassing option.
“Even if it was like that,” I chose to return the favour and be doubtful, “I’m not inclined to think your morals would let you humour me.” My chin was tipped upwards while Levi shook his head and finally took a sip from his tea. The ghost of a smirk in the corner of his mouth disarmed.
“I have little to nothing against it. But,” (that fucking word again) the firmness of his voice was the only thing keeping my chest from swelling, “it doesn’t sound like an ideal course of action when you’ve almost got yourself a new boyfriend,” he reasoned calmly, somber responsibility lacing his tone.
“It’s not cheating if we’re not official,” I protested instantly, furrowed brows and a pout. He snorted.
“That’s not what I meant, princess.” My lips pursed at the jolt the nickname gave me. “I don’t want sex clouding your judgement. I get Rivers isn’t your boyfriend, but you shouldn’t exclude him as a possibility just because you’ve started thinking you have feelings for me.”
“Besides being a poet, you’ve turned into a psychologist, too,” I exclaimed with a genuinely cheerful chuckle that made him quirk a brow. Something in my throat shrivelled up. “Don’t dwell on my feelings too much, asshole,” I reassured. “I like this because it’s something new, not because I’m head over heels in love with you.” I was still chuckling as he sipped on his tea and fixed me with one of those firm looks that had the ability to bend the knees. The effect was doubled in intensity this morning.
“Make your choice then,” he said boredly, not wishing to be too imperious, seeing as the situation wasn’t taking place in a formal setting where he was the boss and I was the indecisive underling. I might as well have been, with how hot my ears got while I held his gaze, brave and stupid in the face of somebody who read me better than I sometimes read myself.
“I’m not saying it out loud,” I muttered, bashful. The ebony-haired intern watched me struggle before tilting his head to the side with a fake air of oblivion.
“Then I won’t know what you want,” he said innocently, attempting to mock my shyness and what was more – succeeding. I burned bright red, feeling heat creep up my neck and my glare was pointed and uncontrolled. It couldn’t pass as mere annoyance because Levi was hitting a nerve.
“I didn’t see you having a hard time knowing everything I wanted last night, but okay.” There was more spite than sass in the sentence, which only further conveyed my inability to stay nonchalant – something that clearly amused him. “I want us to… keep going. Satisfied?” Crossed arms, downcast gaze and a childish pout. I was the live embodiment of the word petulance and Levi wasn’t done having fun with it.
“Not as satisfied as I clearly left you.” He was smirking and I glared at him, furious and not knowing where the blood would go when there was no space left in my head. I hopped off my chair, turning my back to him and hearing how he moved to stand behind me. A well-meaning hand landed on my shoulder. “It was a joke, princess, there’s no need for the cold shoulder.” His tone was flat and disinterested, but there was a pacifying sliver. He might’ve been trying to make peace but I wouldn’t have it after all the embarrassment he put me through – just to have a good private laugh, too!
“Un-fucking-bearable, that’s what you are,” I hissed, brushing his hand off my shoulder and heading to the staircase in order to escape. He gave chase and set on ignoring the usual code that forbade touchy-touchy when unneeded. The pure and unfiltered imagination one must have in order to picture a shirtless Greek God chasing after a poorly dressed eighteen-year-old spoiled brat was too ambitious a requirement for anybody to fulfil. Turn to mythology for that, but it’s inappropriate there and this one meant well.
“I’ll stop embarrassing you if that’s what you want.” His hands were on my shoulders. He turned me around and I didn’t look at him, much less respond. He could sense I was ashamed. His hands slowly trailed down over my arms to hold my wrists in a grip I could, with effort, free myself from. “Does the mere mention of sex with no context whatsoever embarrass you, princess?” He knew it did, leaning forward with twinkling eyes and a complacent half-smile. “Your face is red.”
“And you’re a fucking genius, congratulations,” I spat with sarcastic disgruntlement. He pulled me forward so that I bumped into his chest. My shoulders jumped in surprise. I didn’t want to look him in the eye but the sight of the marks I’d left on him were no less embarrassing to behold. My heart sped up and I was pouting, flush against him with nowhere to go.
“It speaks,” he whispered by my ear. His hands retraced their steps over my arms and shoulders, gently gliding against the sides of my neck until they held my face. “Does it want to go up to my room?” Blue specks in a pool of melted silver. The question was genuine, in spite of being masked with slight mockery. The adult of us two. I tried to stay mad, but it was impossible. I promised the blue specks I’d count them later and then we were kissing. It was a funny picture – the whole of this situation – ridiculous but somehow not fictional. It was him lifting me off the floor and me wrapping my legs around him. It was him making step after step, steady and careful not to drop me while I snickered into his mouth. It was me being a literal koala and then it was us, hearing the jingle of keys.
“Shit,” I cursed, parting from him with a smack. He let go and I could catch only a glimpse of the panic on his face before I was running up the stairs. I’d barely closed the door behind us when I heard my mother greeting the empty kitchen downstairs. While I breathed out in relief, Levi was already heading to the balcony. It occurred to me that there was a pack of condoms on my nightstand and they were stolen. I’d need to make a trip to the pharmacy and replace the box. Talk about inconvenient. “Careful now,” I piped while the intern was preparing to make the jump, “we don’t want you to fall.” He gave me a half-hearted glare but said nothing.
When he was gone, I plopped down on my bed and grinned incredulously at the ceiling. This “secret sex” thing we were about to dive into wasn’t how I’d imagined the weeks prior to my first year in university, but oh, well. Expect the unexpected and if unable to – just accept it. This officially marked the beginning of my longest stay in City of Dumbassery. It was surprising, however, that I wasn’t alone in there. Twice as surprising that I’d be stuck with my father’s intern. Whom I was having sex with. Amazing. Spectacular. Asshole-me would have my ass for that.
tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts
#mtij#levi x reader#levi ackerman fanfiction#x reader#levi ackerman imagine#reader insert#levi ackerman x reader#it finally happened#all i'm going to say: i wrote the actual sex scene while editing the rest of the chapter because i was too bashful in the past lol#sure hope it's not worse than the vague three paragraphs of the past#levi is a literal king who preaches consent and safe sex and nobody will change my opinion#also our drama queen is entering a brand new arc of her life#beware: storm incoming
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
🎃halloween with the avengers and co!🎃
summary: um. you can read so
warnings: this is literally me rambling, haunted places, animated bucky having like double d’s wtf, the most unorganized thing i’ve ever made don’t judge me
a/n: this is so messy but i had so much fun just writing whatever came to mind, apologies for jumping all over the place lol but hope you get a laugh out of it anyways 🤍🤍
OH MY GOD ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE DONE THIS
BUT YALL SHOULD KNOW THAT THE HOLIDAYS ARE MY FAVORITE THING
I MAY BE AN ATHEIST BUT CHRISTMAS IS THE BEST SHIT EVER
and i honestly spent halloween in my dorm bingeing movies and i’m rewatching werewolf by night and just realized i need to write for halloween so oops
halloween with the team is the best shit ever.
you want to wear a costume? no party like a stark party.
sure, some people are lazy and show up in their suits and call it a day (cough sam cough)
but it’s well made up for by peter and harley both going as tony (and arguing over who did it better) and kamala dressing as carol
yelena and nat would dress up as each other and make fun of the other
“i’m natasha and i’m an avenger and i love tight suits with no pockets so my ass looks good when i pose”
“i’m yelena and i have an addiction to sriracha and versace”
tony was going to show up as himself, but morgan wrangled the stark family into dressing as food. she’s a cheeseburger, obvi
steven convinced marc to go as an archaeologist, but when the latter fronts he instantly yanks off the funny hat and passes it to layla, who’s honestly just there to watch the chaos
wanda goes with her usual sokovian fortune teller costume, but the twins are more than excited to prance around the tower in search of candy
america brings a share of multiversal candy, some of which isn’t… exactly… edible
speaking of which, if you hand out candy instead, you end up setting up a trick-or-treating path in the tower for the younger team members, with each of the rooms serving as a stop
the eternals are split on halloween. ikaris, being the stoic dramatic hoe he is, thinks it’s overhyped. sersei’s happy to see little kids, sprite likes scaring people, you know
but with all of your experiences combined, none of you scare easily
the world’s greatest heroes can tank any horror movie with ease, barely startling at jumpscares or violent scenes
but they DO NOT handle haunted areas well
this is entirely based on my experience at the ohio state reformatory AKA the most haunted prison in the us. i went up for fall break since i used to live near mansfield before we moved, and HOLY FUCK YALL
THAT SHITS HAUNTED HAUNTED
i sat in the chair room :)
and it felt like someone punched the right side of my face :(
my right eye teared up and got super red :(((
but i got a piece of brick from the chapel :D
probably have an attachment now :((((
anyway, say you convince the team to visit. even better, you rope tony into paying for the ghost tour
every single noise will send the group jumping
bucky pulls a knife out of his pocket the moment you enter the west attic
steve starts out a skeptic but ends up refusing to even enter the chapel
peter freaking out bc “omg sam and colby and shane and ryan were here”
things are just made worse when wanda starts to mumble about “restless energy”
fuck that if the scarlet witch is nervous then you can be too
just finished werewolf by night moving on to the zombie episode of what if?
goddamn animated bucky has bigger tits than me
are y’all seein this shit
ok back on track
if jack and elsa are somehow involved there’ll be too many werewolf jokes made
but he’s too much of a sweetheart to really protest them
i love them so much and we only have like an hour of them 🥺
scott would dress up as an ant. i’m not taking criticism. he would try to make hope dress up as a wasp but when she refuses cassie does it.
bingeing halloween movies
arguing whether or not nightmare before christmas is a halloween or christmas movie
deciding the only right decision aka it’s a halloween movie stfu
shuri would come up with a slay costume i just know she would 😭
thor and jane would have a cringey couples costume cmon guys it’s literally canon
katy would show up as a hot dog
like the worst discount hot dog costume you’ve ever seen
shang and xialing would be forced to be ketchup and mustard respectively
once again argue with the wall
overall, you’ll have fun. it’ll be chaotic as fuck, but when it comes to the avengers, what isn’t?
hope everyone had a fun halloween! now go buy that discount candy bitches!
#marvel#marvel x reader#x reader#avengers x reader#avengers#steve rogers#bucky barnes#tony stark#natasha romanoff#peter parker#sam wilson#wanda maximoff#yelena belova#kamala khan#werewolf by night#scott lang#halloween#marvel halloween#halloween with the avengers
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
Grandpa Tor Remembers: Camping with UMass Boys (and their plentiful tents)
So (2) people want to know about the time my girlfriend and I put on a show for a dorm full of guys.
Alright. 🫠
It was the Fall 1993 semester at UMass Amherst, and my girlfriend (let's call her...'Kelly') was dorming with a Puerto Rican girl who was obsessed with Luis Miguel (this girl was a walking stereotype of Puerto Ricans 💀). There were posters of the guy all over the room — along with the requisite Jesus iconography/crucifix on the damn wall — without any space for my girlfriend's shit, so if we were going to be doing anything, we'd still be surrounded by that guy's face (and fkn Jesus, when Kelly was Jewish and I was atheist 😭🤣). This roommate hated being around my gf and hated it even more when I was around, so thankfully the weekend this happened, she had gone home to wherever the fuck she was from (Holyoke, I think) and my gf let me know so I could hop a bus over. Zero to do with the story, just setting the weird ass scene I was shuffled into at that time in my life. If I recall, her roomie wanted to be a nurse, too. 💀💀💀💀💀 But she was also big religious/a big Jesus beater, so she hated being roomed with a free-spirited Jewish lesbian like Kelly and made Kelly's life Hell whenever she was around.
Me being highly sexed and Kelly being receptive all the time led us to start fucking as soon as we got up into the roommateless room. Today, there was a banana involved, but the boys did not see that part. 😉🍌 Yes it went where you're thinking...not into me though 💩
Her bed was next to the wall and window. If you sat up in the bed, you could turn your head to see out the window and see the other dorms across the ways.
I was lying on my back on the bed and Kelly was doing her usual sexy stripper dance over me (this was a thing she did for me/us...easy to do with the Lords of Acid blasting around you)...and she suddenly turned beet red and started laughing.
Now when Kelly turned beet red and started laughing the way she did at the time, you know something's fucked up, so I sat up and asked her what was wrong. She knelt down and her laughter got worse (she was the giggly type). She pointed towards the window, so I looked out to see a whole fucking bunch of guys watching her from the windows of the other dorm (like... I'm not talking just a couple of guys... I'm talking dozens, since the windows were filled up with smiling, amused young college boys).
So instead of getting embarrassed, what did I do...I got on my knees and told Kelly to calm it and to straighten her back so they could see us pressed together. After waving at them, I (we) pulled a Cairo for their male gaze
after which they were all cheering like it was a fucking football game and someone just scored a touchdown.
Our kissing lasted much longer than the above drunken Male Gaze Kiss, so I hope some of them enjoyed themselves. We did not show them anything else besides boob (we were both un our bras and I flashed them, but Kelly was too shy...maybe because hers were big and mine were like Ortega's), but they seemed satisfied just to watch us make out and feel each other up. College boys in the '90s were too easy, and we both had our pick (but we were too picky...both interested in older men). Kelly said she wasn't sure if she could show her face on campus after that but all was good, she was never bothered by anyone about it.
I know, it wasn't as big of a show as you expected. We didn't fuck in front of them (well, we technically did, but they couldn't see it...and they knew that we were going to because before I sank back down onto the bed with Kelly, I gave them a final wave and a 👅✌🏼...I could see some disappointed faces but most were happy and waving g'bye back 🤭). We saved that kind of thing for later, when we fucked in front of my big dicked comics store boss who wanted to join in (but we didn't let him). 👹
Next story? I suppose I ought to do a new poll.
#poll story#poll winner#tumblr polls#that time we entertained a shitload of college boys#surrounded by luis miguel and jesus#that should work its way into a story somewhere#i swear i'll do it
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i had a coffee at 5PM so my dumb ass is still Alert at a quarter to midnight lmao. as long as i finish this notebook tonight, i'll be Content. the rewrites demanded i write new things so i can make sense of what i have to redo, and it's been a bit intimidating, going off the rails like that for this draft. but i'm determined to get to the end of this rewrite, no matter how sloppy it is, by april 19th (because next draft is for further polishing). my therapist comes back that day after a month break, and we decided my homework during his absence is going to be all about holding myself accountable to progress, which includes working on this draft and finishing a rewrite this year.
plus it's the release date for taylor's album, and it kinda feels serendipitous to finish this novel draft on the same day an album with the name tortured poets department comes out.
other than that, i've been doing quite well. tapering off of effexor (venlafaxine) is going well. now that i'm taking b12 and vitamin d on top of the multivitamin i'm already taking, i'm feeling a LOT better. i'm continuing to take care of my mom, whose cast is coming off later this week. not sure if she'll be fully healed by then, but at least the cast is coming off. my sister is enthusiastically invested in ffxiv, which couldn't make me happier (and once i get steady income i'll get back on ps+ and play eso with her, so she can be my mentor and guide me through!). she's also watching game grumps more, which is so fucking exciting because NOW I CAN CRACK JOKES WITH HER WHEN WE HANG OUT AND SHE'LL GET THEM FJDLKS it's taken us literally 20 years, two fucking decades, but she and i are finally getting along and are friends. i can finally connect with larissa about things we both like!!
my brother has always been this way, so i'm not overlooking him.
my bio dad converted to Episcopalian, so he's been mentioning it when he goes to special services or giving us links to the services (he attends st. thomas's church in the city, which.. kinda makes me laugh because his name is thomas lol). they're quite beautiful, especially the choir. i don't begrudge him for this choice, but it does take me by surprise because he has NEVER shown ANY interest in religion for my entire life. if anything he's seemed rigidly atheistic. i asked him what made him want to do it, and he said it's to "be a calmer, quieter, better person." im not sure if he has faith in christ as much as he is drawn to the goodness of the people in the church, and what he thinks a christian should be, so in the end if it makes him happy and helps him feel better about himself, good for him.
he still owes me and my siblings literally thousands of fucking dollars as per the terms of his divorce agreement with my mother that he has been ignoring for over a decade, but apparently we're meant to overlook all that. that makes me sound like a greedy asshole, but my father has never been supportive in literal or figurative ways to us without us having to bleed his fucking stone heart dry, so while on the one hand i genuinely do want him to be happy with himself and become a person he can be proud of, on the other i'm like 'cool, so when will we see any of that change?'
but whatever. i'm mad about it but i'm not letting that distract me.
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
lightingpiner
Untitled
hydeville
Me being myself and loving every moment of it
fuj0
Your favorite bird dude
radioisntdead
A C E
i-hate-ferengi
Dead