just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.

tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.

Giant mermaid au

Yo...For the giant mermaid au can we pls see more of Antonio with his human buddies, maybe they're like giving him a piggy back ride lol and trying to feed him without him biting.

I hope it's not too much but can we also see giant mermaid isa, agustine and Bruno haven't seen them yet lol

Questions

So Agustin being the one to talk to humans, is he sorta the expert on them is he asked questions about them?

What do the sirens do? What's their routine, guppies sometimes go to the groto daycare and most adults go hunting or defending the area. I'm just curious how the community runs or just what it's like lol. What do the madrigals family do everyday?

Do Mirabel and Isa still have beef?

Tiny madrigals au

High fives 🥹

Heh quite alot, hopefully not too much of a bother I love your stories and your drawings 😎

OF COURSE‼️‼️‼️

Also I never explained or said it but. Antonio, along with other guppies, really only like one human from the ship they encounter. You know Milo, from Atlantis. Yeah, the human is basically like that dude, a linguist. He can understand the guppies, to an extent, so they like him. The guppies simply tolerate the other humans. They can’t get close or. They will get bit 💀💀

And yes. I have yet to draw the other siren Madrigals shhhhhh

Agustín isn’t an expert, but he definitely knows a whole lot more than the others in the community. He often will debunk the things that just straight up aren’t true. He is bombarded by guppies and younger sirens on a daily basis. They’re always asking him questions about human, but he doesn’t mind. He thinks it’s funny how interested they are, seeing that he in no major way, is he against humans entirely.

As for the sirens???? I guess it depends on the family. Guppies do go to the daycare though. They actually sleep in there most of the time, they rarely are in their family cave to sleep, because of how small they are compared to grown sirens. They’re picked up n the morning, go back in the afternoon, then they can free roam, and then their parents usually drop them off at night. Hence why there are always the caretakers at the Grotto.

The adults, most of the time, are hunting for some kind of food. Defending surprisingly isn’t a major priority. That job is typically left to jellyfish, you know like box jellyfish, considering how close jellyfish and giant sirens have been for decades. Some adults are farming, but it’s not for like sea animals; it’s for those giant shells that are used for guppies. They’re cultured and selectively breaded specifically so they can be used for guppies. And it’s not just like clams, it’s oysters, mussels, any kind of shell like that. Humans actually try and find these farm, because sometimes, though it’s rare, giant pearls can form within the shells. Pearls mean nothing to giant sirens, they hold no particular value, so they’re kind of just put into the family’s treasury and they move on with their lives.

Madrigals is very similar to what they do in canon. Just going around helping whoever needs it. Gifts??? I never really decided if they were a thing, but I’m leaning towards no??? Honestly them helping around is enough, and since they’re underwater, a lot of the gifts serve no real useful purposes to giant sirens. They!re very capable, and have no need for anything special.

And no! They don’t have beef. It’s more like a friendly sibling rivalry. You know, play fighting, talking smack, stuff like that. Alma doesn’t really play favorites in this AU. So nothing driving them apart. Isabela was actually the one who carried Luisa and Mirabel around in their shells when they were little, so she’s quite close with Mirabel.

Tiny Madrigals, but it’s just these two

AND I’M GLAD YOU LIKE MY STUFF‼️‼️ I LOVE MAKING IT 👹👹👹

When a mortal dies, their soul goes to either Heaven or Hell, depending on the life lived.

If they are to be part of Hell, they are sent to one of seven layers of Hell, each represented by one of seven deadly sins, and each one having their ruler (prince).

1st layer: Pride. Prince: Doflamingo (name used in Hell) / The Devil / Dophiel. 2nd layer: Greed. Prince: Mammon 3rd layer: Lust. Prince: Asmodeus 4th layer: Envy. Prince: Leviathan 5th layer: Gluttony. Prince: Beelzebub 6th layer: Wrath. Prince: Satan (also currently referred to as King of Hell) 7th layer: Sloth. Prince: Belphegor

Each and every layer of Hell is molded according to its prince, the punishments and lives of those inside them completely up to their preference and will. In terms of power they’re the strongest beings in Hell, with Satan being demon considered its king. However, upon arrival of a powerful soul or birth of a very powerful demon, those places can be taken, as it happened when Dophiel fell. Generally, though, the famous six had been on their positions for eons. The same division doesn’t apply to demons who are naturally born there (be they half demons or not), imps, or fallen angels. They reside in layers of Hell in which they were born into, or get to chose the prince they’re willing to follow of their own free will. It’s Hell, it’s always going to be awful, so at least they get to pick their own suffering.

A trait shared by all residents of Hell is the fact everyone has at least one thing about themselves they do not like, or hate. As it is Hell, no one is supposed to be perfect, it’s filled with sinners and demons alike, and depending on how one copes with the fact is how their experience will be. Similarly, their souls can die for the second (if a human) or the first time (if a demon) inside Hell, and once that happens the soul is lost and never to be regained, its energy and essence lost forever.

Another common trait is for many to change their name from when they were mortals, or angels (as does Dophiel too). Hell being a new beginning of their eternal suffering. It’s not mandatory, some souls practice it, some do not.

Regardless of layers existing, there is still a hierarchy with fallen angels being above demons, and demons being above mortal souls, “politically”. Fallen angels have the upper hand from the fact they’re were once holy beings, perfect in each and every way, but now tainted with sin. Their power shifted into darker energy, but they are still “those created by Lord”, at least in essence. Some are even able to control those below them to support their claims, which creates more hate from other residents and potential fights among them.

Doflamingo’s abilities which he regains eventually are the reason why he becomes king of Hell once his soul is complete. Even then, the system remains, as his goal is to bring Heaven down, to paint it black, not destroy Hell.

All in all, Hell is a place where rape, assaults, murders, drugs, slavery, booze, sex, torture and alike, are common on a day-to-day basis. It’s a constant battle of survival, even in the afterlife, and those unable to live up to demands of those above them or are unable to protect themselves, are easily devoured.

If a soul is to be part of Heaven, they are first placed in the 10th layer of Heaven, the Purgatory, and make their way up. Unlike Hell, Heaven doesn’t have a ruler of each layer when there is God, however, to ensure things run smoothly and everyone is satisfied, each layer does have a senate consisting of both angels and mortal souls to ensure equality.

10th layer: the Purgatory 9th layer: Humility 8th layer: Sincerity 7th layer: Love 6th layer: Hope 5th layer: Temperance 4th layer: Kindness 3rd layer: Diligence 2nd layer: Knowledge 1st layer: Light (residence of God)

First layer of Heaven is there to purify the soul and enable its entrance to Heaven. As mortal souls are sinners, the souls that make it there are capable of redeeming. There is no time limit for a soul to purify, and many can stay there for a long time before getting into another layer of Heaven. As long as there is capability of redemption, there is hope for the soul.

The rest of the layers, apart from God’s, are where mortal souls and angels reside, depending on the attributes associated with their soul. Those connected to knowledge, mostly seraphim and other high ranking angels, and a very few mortals, reside there. Those of pure love are in the 7th layer, the kindest are in 4th, etc. The lower the number, the closer they are to God. During their time in Heaven, souls and angels are able to go from one layer to reside in another, depending on what their purpose in that time is, and what God has in store for them.

Heaven’s hierarchy centers around God. No one, but a select few seraphs, is allowed inside God’s residence without permission or being called upon, it is the place where the Light resides. For everyone else it is unreachable. Mortal souls are beloved by God, his greatest creation and they’re free in Heaven even though the lowest ranking, unlike angels who are servants of Lord’s and perform various duties. Angels have a hierarchy between them as well, their rankings telling of their responsibilities and power, in the following order from the highest to lowest ranking: seraphim, cherubim, thrones, kyriotetes, dynamis, elohim, archai, archangels, angels.

Unlike Hell, Heaven is a place where souls are perfect, where each souls is content and aware of that perfection, never doubting it. They’re surrounded by love, light, knowledge, hope and feelings of security, pure in their essence. The opposite of Hell, Heaven is a place where miracles happen, where pure energy is overflowing, where God’s glory is sung and its residents are at peace. Nothing tainting is there, only pure.

yay! I’m gonna rapid fire send a few short ones but there’s no rush in getting them all answered! okay so you’ve mentioned that suki’s love language is touch, but what about everyone else? -😌✨

Ooooh! Good ask! I’m assuming you want the L.Y.E cast but I’ll add a few extra characters into the mix. I’ll do just the male characters for this post and do a female list at another time if y’all want it!

I also separated giving/receiving love languages because a few characters I feel would give love different to how they would like to receive it.

(Also this took SO LONG to finish I’m sorry for making you wait!)

Love Languages

💥Katsuki Bakugou💥

Gives in Touch / Receives in Touch

Receiving: As I’ve said before, Bakugou’s love language is touch, and as I’ve also said he’s super uncomfortable with people touching him casually because he just expects physical contact to hurt in some way or another. So once he does get a SO it’ll take a while for him to open up to any sort of physical affection, especially in public. At the start of the relationship the best they’ll get is holding hands, and even that is more a possessive gesture than anything else, it’s meant to signal to anyone passing by that this person is his and his alone. 

However, after a bit of time Bakugou will open up to his SO and allow himself to accept the affection they give. It’ll start with the hand holding, progress into accepting hugs without complaint, to even letting his SO play with his hair while he lays in their lap and tells them about his day. It’ll eventually become apparent that Katsuki loves to be touched, craves it even, though he’d never admit to this outright. It’ll take a while to get there but gain his trust and he’ll accept any sort of physical affection his SO has for him.

He’ll still never tolerate anything further than a chaste peck on the cheek in public though. He loves the gesture don’t get him wrong but Pro-Hero Ground Zero (Bars Dude ✌🏽) does have a reputation to uphold you know.

Giving: Katsuki loves to be touched sure but he also loves to touch. Similarly it’ll take time for him to get comfortable with giving physical affection but once there he can’t help but wrap himself around his SO nearly all the time. 

If he’s out with them he’s got an arm around their shoulders or their waist. 

If he’s home with them and they’re doing something he’s right there next to them, bumping shoulders so frequently he might as well just press himself to his SO and stay there. Or he’s behind them, arms wrapped around their waist and head on their shoulder watching whatever they’re doing.

If they’re laying down or relaxing in anyway he’s laying under them, next to them, on top of them, doesn’t matter to him as long as he’s there with them. Katsuki has never been good at expressing his feelings verbally, so he Koala’s himself to their form and just hopes all his emotions can transfer through his body and into theirs and they can understand how much he loves them. 

🥦Izuku Midoriya🥦

Gives in Gifts & Words of Affirmation / Receives in Words of Affirmation

Receiving: Listen, after a childhood full of being looked down on a belittled for being Quirkless, Deku has developed something of a mental blockage about his own self worth. The fact that the most common way for people to refer to Deku is as “The Plain One” doesn’t help his inferiority complex. Even after years of having One for All he still has lingering doubts about his capabilities and desirability.

So when his SO tells him something they like about him, even if it’s something as simple as “I like your outfit today” he is over the moon about it and won’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. 

He’s more than a little embarrassed about it, he thinks it makes him narcissistic and shallow in a way, but he simply can’t get enough of the praise his SO gives him (maybe or maybe not has a praise kink like who knows ya know). 

It gives him a rush to hear it, to know that he means something to someone, to know he’s appreciated, loved, and desired by at least one person. A simple “I love you” is all he needs to make his day, any sort of affirmation is the highlight of his week and he craves it like a starving man craves food.

Giving: Izuku loves to compliment his SO, but he also tends to assume that they, unlike him, already know their value. He doesn’t think his words hold nearly as much weight to his SO as their words do for him. So while he’ll definitely lay on the verbal affection pretty thick he’ll also supplement it by going out of his way to never let a week pass without getting his SO a gift.

It’s usually something small, just something to let them know he was thinking about them throughout his day. Since Izuku never let his fanboy behavior of obsessively taking notes go, he definitely knows his SO’s favorite everything ever so they can expect to frequently receive their favorite candy, flowers, etc, on a regular basis.

���🤍Shoto Todoroki🤍❤

Gives in Gifts & Quality Time / Receives in Gifts

Receiving: Now Gifts as a love language often get a bad rap for being the choice of the rich and materialistic; it’s seen as the shallowest of the love languages by a non-insignificant number of people. Shoto, however, is not interested in expensive and highly-sought after gifts like cutting-edge tech, lavish jewelry, or any other similar staples of wealth. He’s too used to his father getting him things like this to try and win his affection and display the affluence of the Todoroki family. No, Shoto’s not interested in that, Shoto loves gifts that indicate the giver was thinking about him.

What I mean by this is that if someone were to give Shoto a nice watch as a gift he’d say thank you and would definitely wear it but wouldn’t give it a second thought; but if someone where to give him something they hand crafted, like a painting, a ceramic vase, or hell even one of those shitty friendship bracelets everyone who went to bible camp had to make, Shoto would cherish it like it was his own child. He’d be up thinking about it for weeks, completely overwhelmed by the genuine love behind the gesture.

If his SO is not the creative type and isn’t prone to making things, they can still achieve this same affect by just getting him something he likes. Pop in to his agency with some cold Soba or his favorite candy? He’d be flustered to the point of needing to take his lunch break early just to calm down. To Shoto, the ultimate display of love is taking time out of one’s day to make him something or bring him something he enjoys.

Giving: As much as Shoto dislikes the giving of expensive gifts as a way of showing love, it’s really one of the only ways he knows how to express it. Gifts were they only way he was shown affection as a child, so gifts are the only language his brain really understands. He’ll get his SO anything they could possibly want, anything they even vaguely express the desire for they’ll have in a heartbeat. 

His SO was talking about a cute outfit they saw the other day that was slightly out of their price range? Consider it theirs. Were they thinking about replacing their old laptop? He’d get them a new one shipped to their address in less than a week. Even if they just need their tires replaced Shoto wouldn’t hesitate to get it taken care of.

Naturally, this can be incredibly overwhelming and discomforting, especially if his SO isn’t wealthy to begin with. So when it becomes apparent that his SO is uncomfortable with this indulgence his backup way to show affection is to spend time with his SO. Shoto is an excellent listener, and there’s nothing he loves more than to listen to his SO tell him about their day.

Shoto is attached by the hip to his SO most days; when he’s not at work he’s with them, doing his best to fill their average days and menial tasks with fond memories together. He turns a regular night at home into a cluster of warm and loving moments by spending as much time with his SO as possible. He simply cannot fathom ever wanting to be apart from them.

💜Hitoshi Shinsou💜

Gives in Acts of Service / Receives in Words of Affirmation

Receiving: Hitoshi Shinsou has a lot of self-doubt, even after years of training and proving to himself and others that yes he can and will become a Pro-Hero, he still cannot overcome the lingering sense of uncertainty about himself and his abilities. Imposter syndrome who? Hitoshi’s never met her and yet she lingers on his shoulders and weighs him down even after all these years.

So when Hitoshi does finally open up and start dating someone, he’s not entirely sure how to handle being frequently told that he’s loved. Being complimented on his appearance sure, he thinks he’s cute enough and dresses well; but being told something like “You did great on your last mission! You really handled the situation so well” or “Your cooking is excellent, you always know exactly what I like!” will send him into a mini identity crisis. 

He never really thought he did anything exceptionally well, and yet here is this person telling him he’s doing everything exceptionally well? It doesn’t make sense to him but that doesn’t mean he won’t eat the praise up and revel in every kind word.

Giving: Hitoshi has spent so much time focused on his Hero Career, (working twice as hard for half the recognition someone with a flashier quirk would get, yes I’m still bitter) that he’s spent very little time getting to know other people. Mr. “I’m not here to make friends” has suffered in Human Interaction department because of this, getting close to other people is not his strong suit.

So once he does get an SO he’s not entirely sure how to let them know he loves them? Sure he can tell them but actions speak louder than words right? So he takes to doing things for them whenever he gets the chance. If they work at the same agency he’ll handle some of their paperwork for them. If they live together he’ll be sure to keep up on the laundry and dishes, even if he’s the one doing them most of the time. He doesn’t mind taking responsibility for the chores, it’s how he shows his love.

Hitoshi might not have the best intuition when it comes to other people but one thing he does know is that everyone likes to have their work load lightened, even if it’s only a little bit. So any chance he’s got to do that for his SO he’ll take it in a heartbeat.

⚡Denki Kaminari⚡

Gives in All of them / Receives in All of them (lmao)

Receiving: There’s no one more familiar with rejection on this list than Denki Kaminari. Much like Mirio he’s a natural flirt, but unlike Mirio he lacks the overwhelming brightness and charm that lights up the room the second he walks in. Because of this Denki has become rather close with the concept of being curved.

Denki doesn’t let it get him down; he’s got a very easy going personality, so it’s not like he’ll never find someone! It’s only a matter of time before he comes across someone who likes him for him, right?

That was easy to believe back at UA, but he’s an adult now with a flourishing career as a Pro-Hero and yet still can’t seem to find someone. The last thing he wants is for this to make him bitter and reserved, but it becomes increasingly difficult to deny that it hurts. Is there something wrong with him? He can’t help but feel like he’s just unpalatable to the majority of the population.

So when Denki does manage to find an SO he’s over the moon about it. He’s so desperate for any type of affection that he’s open to any kind of love his SO can give him. Is their language gifts or words of affirmation? He’ll cherish every present and kind word they can give him. Is their language Quality Time or Acts of Service? They can expect him to never leave their side, or to shower them with praise and thanks, never letting them forget how much he appreciates them and all they do for him. Is their love language touch? They’ll have full access to his body 24/7, anytime, any day, just say the word. Denki just wants to be loved so badly.

Giving: Just as Denki is open to receiving any kind of love, he’s also open to providing any kind of love. If his SO wants gifts he’ll go bankrupt just to shower them in any material possession they want. If they want his time he’ll give it to them, his touch his hands will never leave them. If they want his praise he’ll be sure to never shut up about them and their accomplishments, if they like acts of service than call him Nicki Minaj because yes he’ll do the cooking, yes he’ll do the cleaning. 

Anything his SO wants he’ll do it for them, he’d let them walk on his face as they come in the door if they wanted to. He can’t stand the idea of his SO leaving him, he’d die before letting go of the love he has with them. He’s convinced that if they leave him he’ll never find it again, at the end of the day he might just be right.

💎Eijirou Kirishima💎

Gives in Words of Affirmation / Receives in Words of Affirmation

Receiving: Eijirou Kirishima is not full of himself, not in the slightest, but that doesn’t stop him from getting butterflies every time someone compliments him (especially on his quirk or pro-hero work). He knows he’s not as flashy as others in his field, but he’s making due with what he has. If anything, he’d just like to have his hard work recognized every now and again.

Eijirou dislikes that his love language is words of affirmation, but he can’t deny the fuzzy feelings he gets when his SO praises him, or compliments him, or even just tells him they love him. Much like Denki, Eijirou just needs to be loved to feel fulfilled, and he’s not one to question the motives of the people he cares about. So just telling him how appreciated and loved he is will make him believe it. Just being the world to one person is enough for him.

Giving: Likewise, Kirishima will give back all his lover gives him tenfold. He knows there’s not enough kindness in the world so any chance he gets to tell his SO how wonderful they are and how much he appreciates them he’ll take it. Kirishima loves to see his lovers face light up when they receive a compliment from him, even if its something small like how nice they look that day. It’s like an addiction, he can’t get enough of the pure unadulterated joy.

🥢Tamaki Amajiki🥢

Gives in Words of Affirmation / Receives in Quality Time

Receiving: Tamaki Amajiki is an introvert, that much is readily apparent after meeting him for the first time. He wouldn’t call himself a loner per say, he just prefers solitude to spending time in big social groups. He’s got a very small social battery, it gets depleted very quickly and takes a while to re-charge.

So when Tamaki’s SO offers to spend some time with him and a day he had scheduled to be alone he’s every so slightly disgruntled about it. He loves his SO with all his being but he really does need the time alone.

Of course he can’t turn them down though, so he just makes peace with the fact that he’ll have to re-work his brain to get into the “human interaction” mode again for a while longer that day.

That is, until it becomes apparent that actually he loves to be alone with his SO. Anything he had planned for that day is made infinitely better with their presence. Anything from reading, to shopping, to just cleaning house, he’s not sure how they do it but the tasks just somehow become exponentially more palatable and enjoyable with his SO around.

Tamaki quickly starts to take little blocks out of his day just to spend with his SO, even if it’s just something small like getting a coffee together and chatting for twenty minutes outside the café. Life is just better with his SO around, easier with them around, and he every time he has to leave he’s counting the minutes till he can come back and see them again.

Giving: Tamaki has never been good with words, but that doesn’t stop him from needing to shower his SO in praise and love. He just can’t hold back whenever he sees them, he has to pay them a compliment on something, even if it’s just what scarf they chose to wear that day. He just needs them to know that he sees them, sees the effort they put in every day, and admires their dedication and work ethic.

Tamaki hates that his stutter gets in the way of this, but another thing he loves about his SO is that they never seem to mind. They don’t get irritated with him about it, nor do they tell him to just spit it out. It really helps his anxiety and nervousness and he can’t help but bring it up every time they meet as well. He knows he sounds like a broken record, but it kills him inside to think of his SO going even one day without knowing how wonderful and special they are to him.

☀Mirio Togata☀

Gives in Quality Time & Touch / Receives in Quality Time

Receiving: Much unlike his best friend Tamaki, Mirio is an extrovert through and through. He loves spending time with people and can’t get enough of being around them. He’s invigorated by company and is always open to making new friends. 

That being said he also makes it a point to make time for the most important people in his life, and the best way to let him know that he’s cared for is to return the gesture. Nothing excites Mirio more than getting a text or a call from a loved one inviting him out to spend time with them. He’s so ecstatic that someone would not only be thinking of him, but actually want to take time out of their day to see him. Just wanting to be around him is the quickest way to his heart.

Giving: Mirio loves spending Quality Time with his SO, not a week goes by that he doesn’t plan a date with them. He pulls out all the stops as well, romantic picnics atop a hill, stargazing on the roof, catching a movie, or even just going to the beach for an afternoon. Mirio will never cheapen out on a date, he wants the time with his SO to be memorable so he’ll put his heart and soul into treating his SO right while out with them.

Mirio has also gained the reputation of a flirt, and for good reason. He’s incredibly charismatic and charming, the only thing smoother than his words and cheesy one-liners is his hands. He keeps them soft and moisturized so he can run them over his SO’s body with little to no resistance.

Mirio loves capital L LOVES touching his SO. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t have his hands on them if he can help it. He wants his SO to feel cared for, appreciated, and above all loved to the highest degree, and if that means he gets to grope them for hours on end to prove that then so be it. If his extended deep tissue massage ends up getting more physical than he had first intended it to be than no one will hear him complaining about it. It definitely wasn’t his plan in the first place...

🦅Keigo Takami🦅

Gives in Touch & Gifts / Receives in Touch

Receiving: Keigo’s had a hard life, which is to be expected of a man taken in by the Hero Commission at such a young age and essentially turned into a pawn. He’s not used to letting people get close to him, for both their safety as well as his own.

It’s highly unlikely that he’d end up with and SO, but Keigo’s never been good at telling himself no, so should he find someone he really wants to pursue he’ll do it, consequences be damned. 

Keigo’s never had a normal romantic relationship with someone, but it doesn’t take long for him to find out that his favorite part of it is being physically intimate with his SO. He loves having their hands all over him, it sets his skin alight and electrifies him in a way he’s never felt before.

Touching doesn’t have to just be sexual either, he can spend just as long cuddling with them, wrapping them in his arms and dwarfing them as he covers them with his wings.

Speaking of his wings, he absolutely loves when his SO touches them. He leaves a feather or two with them every day, just so he can always be touching them in one way or another. He loves to be on patrol and feel them gently stroking it, running their fingertips over it or brushing it across their skin. He nearly plummeted out of the air the first time he felt them kiss it. Keigo would rather pluck each and every feather out of his back one by one than not be able to touch his SO again, he couldn’t even bear the thought of losing their physical affection.

Giving: Keigo isn’t one to take without giving back, so touch for touch Keigo will match his partners affections. He’s definitely into body worship and can spend hours on end just running his hands over their body, mapping every inch of them under his palms. His favorite pass-time is to sit and massage his partners back and shoulders while they tell him about their day. Any excuse to have his hands on his SO he’ll take it.

Keigo sometimes doesn’t feel like that’s good enough though, he feels like when he offers touch as a form of love he’s simply offering himself to his SO. That just won’t do for Keigo, that’s just not enough in his mind. To him it’s pompous to assume that he’d be enough for anyone at all, no matter how much is SO might tell him differently.

So to supplement this he’ll shower his SO in gifts, often of the more expensive variety. What’s the point of being a famous and wealthy pro hero if he can’t spoil the people he loves. He definitely has some bird like tendencies as well so his SO can expect to get a lot of random gifts with “It was shiny and I thought you’d like it” as they explanation behind it.

🔥Touya Todoroki🔥

Gives in Acts of Service & Touch / Receives in Acts of Service

Receiving: Listen, Touya is used to people only doing things for him out of hear or because they need something from him in return. He ran away from home and was presumed dead from a pretty young age, so he’s had alot of time to figure out that if he wants something done he’s either doing it himself or threatening someone to do it for him. People don’t do things for Touya because they like Touya, they do it because they fear Dabi.

So when he, against his very nature, decides to settle into a relationship with someone he’s not entirely sure how affection is displayed between partners. So he’s reasonably skeptical when his SO starts to just do random nice things for him, like cleaning up a mess he’d left for later or bringing him dinner when they knew he missed lunch and breakfast.

He just can’t fathom why his SO would do something like this on a whim, and just decides to bring up that if they needed him to do something for them, they didn’t have to butter him up like everyone else did. Needless to say he was surprised  when they told him they just do these things for him because they love him.

Well he’s not entirely sure about that but he’s never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth now has he? Since they last person to genuinely give a shit about him was his mother Rei and brother Natsuo he’s not about to let someone who says they love him go. Especially not if they continue to do nice things for him.

Giving: Touya Todoroki would never deny being an absolute asshole, he just doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything most of the time. That being said, he’s not one to be in debt to anyone either. If his SO is performing acts of service for him then dammit he’s going to do the same. 

He can’t help with things like house work (not that he would if he could) but he can definitely do things a little more underhanded than what his SO is comfortable with. Should his SO need something they can’t afford they can consider it theirs as long as they don’t ask where it came from. If they’re having trouble with someone at work, be it a manager or just a co-worker, they needn’t worry about it for long. Again, just don’t ask where that person might have gone off to...

Another thing about Touya is that he despises being touched, absolutely hates having anyone's hands on him for almost any reason. If you’re not fucking then don’t touch him without expecting fiery repercussions. 

That being said, Touya also knows (or at least he assumes?) that most healthy couples enjoy touching one another, even when they’re not fucking. So he’ll suck it up for his SO and let them cuddle into him on a cold night, but he’ll make it a point to bitch about it the entire time.

🎮Tomura Shigaraki🎮

Gives in Quality Time and Acts of Service / Receives in Touch

Receiving: For very obvious reasons Tomura Shigaraki does not touch people, not unless he intends to harm them of course. His biggest fear is hurting someone he cares about simply because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

Fortunately for him he rarely lets anyone get close enough for this to be a persistent problem for him, occupational hazard of being a villain you know; but should he manage to find himself an SO he’ll quickly be overwhelmed by the need to touch them in some way or another. Even if it’s just letting them sit in his lap for a minute, he desperately needs to be in contact with this person who (against their better judgement, in his own opinion) has seen past his flaws and enjoys being around him.

A loophole is quickly found though, he can’t touch his SO, but his SO can certainly touch him. He absolutely loves it when they do it as well, any sort of physical affection he eats up with a rabid fervor. It can be something as simple as brushing their knuckles across the back of his neck as they pass behind him that’ll make him go absolutely feral. Their touch is like a drug and Tomura is hooked.

Giving: While Tomura would love to express his affection with touch he’s really just not able to do so without getting sick with anxiety. So instead he makes sure to spend as much time around his SO as possible. Being a villain gives him quite a lot of down time, these evil plots don’t just appear out of thin air! So while he is planning his next move he goes out of his way to include his SO, or at least make sure he’s near them while doing so. 

Having his SO around near constantly not only ensures that they’re safe but also helps to make the time he has to spend around the rest of the LOV more bearable. His SO really is the only person he can tolerate for an extended period of time.

That being said, should his SO need help with anything Tomura will gladly oblige. He’s not one to help with dishes or cleanup, but say his SO needs someone to disappear quickly? He’s got no issue getting his hands dirty and reducing said person to dust. Tomura would dust the entire world if it meant his SO would be happy.

When You’re Gone Chapter 1

[Gabriella's POV]

I never expected to have my childhood best friend be my Criminology Professor. It seems kind of weird but whatever. I don't exactly remember my childhood and early teen memories thanks to the car accident that nearly took my life in the year before my last at high school. I decided to go to college to earn my bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice at 30 and I was on my last year at age 34. That day I was determined to be early. When I was a child, according to my best friend Spencer Reid, he usually described me as a chicken with its head cut off due to my spacing out. He never meant it to be cruel, just a matter of fact. Criminology was my second class of the day, after English. Professor Clarke was supposed to be teaching it and nobody took it seriously... at least those who weren't studying Criminal Law like I was. However, when I walked into the classroom...I didn't see the middle-aged woman I knew to be Professor Clarke. Standing at the whiteboard was a tall, skinny man, with shoulder length messy brown hair wearing black slacks with a purple vest, lilac dress shirt and white tie. His converse shoes made him look younger than he was. Somehow, he seemed familiar. There were a few girls already present in the room. I took my seat next to a girl in blue named Ruby Darley. We introduced ourselves and Ruby whispered, "What do you want to bet that most of these girls are not studying Criminal Law?" "Hm, let me get back to you on that." I whispered back. "Wait, why do you ask?" I asked. "Wait until the professor turns around." Ruby said with a grin. I raised my eyebrow at her. By this time the classroom was full. The professor turned around and looked at all of us. He had large hazel eyes which looked brown, honey brown to be exact and looked like he should be a model, rather than a college professor. "Good morning, I am Dr. Spencer Reid and welcome to Criminology. Professor Clarke needed to step away, so I am covering for her this semester." He started handing out our copies of the class syllabus as he continued talking. His name tickled my memory but I'd had an accident in my junior year of high school that I almost died from so my childhood memories and early teen years were pretty fuzzy. When he got to me, he handed me the syllabus but his eyes narrowed. I raised my eyebrow at him, hoping I wasn't being rude. Apparently, I didn't have what he was looking for, because he continued to hand out syllabuses. "What was that about?" Ruby whispered to me. I shrugged as Doctor Reid went back to the front of the class. He took attendance and his voice was a little strange when he called out my name. "Present," I say as I doodle on my writing notebook. Dr. Reid thoughtfully nodded and wrote something down on his piece of paper. --- [Spencer's POV] After class, I wanted to call Gabby up and see why she didn't recognize me. But she slipped out before I had the chance. So I found myself contacting Garcia to do a search for the girl I loved. "You've reached the all-knowing BAU Oracle." Garcia said. "Hi Garcia do you have a moment?" I asked. I heard Garcia snort. "For you, 187, I have all the time in the world." Garcia joked. "What do you need Doc?" I take a deep breath. I hope that wherever she is, she's happy. "I need you to look up someone for me. Her name is Gabriella Chambers, born May 19th 1984." I heard Garcia's fingers type rapidly. "It says here that she's living in Washington D.C. right now and attending the university that you're teaching at, Boy Wonder." Garcia reported. "Her grades are impeccable. I'm not going to lie, I'm impressed,187." Garcia's voice sounded impressed with Gabby's grades. I was impressed myself since she had always struggled with Math during childhood. I nodded. Then, realizing she can’t see me: "Could you dig into her medical records? She should have recognized me today." I asked. Garcia made a noise of assent and typed even more. I was about to hang up when she said, "Oh my God. She was involved in a car accident her junior year of high school and nearly died. As a result, she has extreme retrograde amnesia and the doctors don't expect her childhood and early teen memories to return." I felt a rock fall to the pit of my stomach. So all the memories I shared with her were just gone, like they never happened? What about that pact we made when she was 7 and I was 10, if we were both over 30 and unwed that we'd marry each other? Did she truly not remember our first kiss when I was 16? "You're in love with her." Garcia cut into my reverie. "I'm sorry 187. I didn't think... well if you can't get her memories to return, there's always a blank slate you can start with." Tears fell down my face. I did not want to start afresh with her. Yet I may have to. I start putting away my things in order to get ready to leave when the door opened and Gabby walked in. She approached me cautiously, testing the waters. "I'm sorry, Dr. Reid, but you seem awfully familiar to me and I can't place meeting you anywhere." I could work with 'awfully familiar'! "Actually . . . we were childhood friends." I said and pulled the picture of us when she was 7 out of my messenger bag for proof. I was pushing her on a swing in the picture. "I don't remember." She said sadly and handed the picture of us back to me. "I was in an accident and have problems with my long term memories." I bit my lip. "Would you like to come back to my apartment with me? I have the letters you wrote me before we lost contact." I offered but she shook her head. "No, it's okay. I just wanted to know why you were so familiar." She said. "I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was gone. ---- [Gabby's POV] I rushed home. There was no way in hell that I'd known Dr. Reid during the period of time that I was missing... I dug out what I called my photography box. On the top was the very same picture that Dr. Reid had shown me. It must have been a favorite of mine. I was astonished to find a handful of pictures that contained the two of us and a bunch of letters tied with a length of ribbon. My mother had saved every letter he'd written me. The letters indicated that we were close, probably close enough to eventually fall in love with the other. I could see me doing that. Dr. Reid was attractive, definitely my type. I was so engrossed in the letters that if the knock on my door hadn't been as loud as it was, I would have missed it. "Coming." I set my almost finished bundle of Dr. Reid's letters on top of my bed and answered the door. Dr. Reid was standing on my doorstep. "I'm just a few doors down from you but . . . here." Dr. Reid handed me a second bundle that's tied with a baby blue ribbon. Mine was tied with a hot pink ribbon. "Okay I'll get these back..." I started. "Keep them. I have an eidetic memory, so I can recall them whenever I want. See you tomorrow." He started to walk away but I caught his arm in time. He turned to look at me. "I have the letters you wrote to me." I say. "You seem so... painfully different from when you wrote those letters. Tell me what happened?" He starts to consider it but then freezes. "It'll be best for you to remain my student. I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Chambers." He said and yanked his arm from my grasp. I gasped at the unspoken consequence, that if I can't do that, then I should drop his class. "Why are you being so cold?" I call after him. He doesn't answer. --- [Spencer's POV] I had to blink back tears as I head back to my own apartment. It's best for her if I remain Dr. Spencer Reid in her eyes. She'll be safer when I return to the BAU after my reinstatement requirements are met. The moment I get into my apartment, I truly crumble to the floor and let go. It feels like I've lost the two women I have ever loved to tragic fates - Maeve because she was murdered and Gabby because of a car accident. Technically, I didn't lose Gabby, she was still alive but the amnesia was worse than death in my opinion. I wondered what had made her lose such a big amount of her long-term memories. I had been such an integral part of her childhood... It would be better to keep my distance and let her marry someone else who can keep her safe from the monsters I face on a daily basis. --- [Spencer's POV] The next morning I walked into the Criminology class to see that Gabby was the first student in the classroom, going over an assignment I had handed out yesterday for homework. She looked up and then looked back down at the paper. "Need help?" I asked her. She shook her head. I wandered over to her desk. The classroom was empty and I owed her an explanation about my behavior last night. "Look," I murmured. "Last night was a..." "Disaster seems like a good word for it," Gabby said, looking up sternly and giving me a pissed look. I sighed. "The thing is, I'm trying to protect you." She looked up at me with impatience. "Have you ever heard of the Behavioral Analysis Unit?" I asked, looking at her. "Who hasn't?" Gabby asked. "They're the nation's elite at criminal profiling." I nod. "I'm part of that unit. I've put countless criminals away who would love to hurt you to get to me. It's safer for you if we keep the relationship to that of teacher and student." I admitted, not for the first time. "Safer..." Gabby snorted. "Dr. Reid, I read all of your letters that you sent me before my accident last night. There's no way in hell that I'll believe you're capable of staying at a teacher/student relationship with me." The door opened and I returned to the front, clearly pissed off. Ruby Darley walked in as I faced the whiteboard to hide my expression, furiously writing. "Wow, Dr. Reid looks pissed. Did one of those girls proposition him?" I wanted to turn around and tell Ms. Darley I could hear her but considering the argument Gabby and I just had, it wasn't a good idea. "No, Dr. Reid's mad at me." I hear Gabby say as she opened her notebook. "You didn't!" Ms. Darley said in shock. "Quite frankly, I didn't have you pegged as one of the girls who would actually go and f**k a professor for the hell of it." "I didn't proposition him," Gabby says through her teeth. "It was over something else." I now turned around and said, "Ms. Darley, what occurred between Ms. Chambers and I is quite naturally between us. If she chooses to tell you, she may but please refrain from making comments like that." I resume my writing but still listened in. The girls changed the subject. "I can't believe that assignment Professor Callaghan gave us today for English," Ruby complained. "Well, we are reading Anne of Avonlea." I hear Gabby say with a snort. "I went through the papers my mom saved from my elementary school days." I wonder if she's saying this for my benefit... "There was this boy I had a crush on. I wrote him a letter based on the Anne books." "Did you ever give it to him?" Ruby asked. "No, I was too shy to give him the letter in that instance," Gabby says. I'd never thought of her being shy. "So what's going on between you and Dr. Reid?" I kind of wanted to know myself, so I listened. "Childhood friends and I don't remember him," Gabby answered a bit tersely. "He was acting like a jackass last night." I raised an eyebrow at her comment. "So would you?" Ruby asked. I wondered what Ruby was asking Gabby. Some sort of nonverbal exchange must've happened because I heard, "Hell no!" I turned around and raised an eyebrow at the two women. Ruby wrote something down and passed it to Gabby. "C'mon, he's clearly listening and I don't feel like explaining myself." She hissed. "It's a yes or no question, Gabby." Ruby said, giving her a look. "Drop *it* !" Gabby hissed again as I was just about to come over to their table to see what was written on the paper sitting between them like a high school teacher. "You're not getting out of answering." Ruby says as she puts the note away and the classroom fills.

illicit affairs | Chapter 2, Crossfire

AO3 Link | 4,800 words (approx) | Chapter 1, Chapter 3

Chapter Summary: Fox nurses his injuries as he continues to protect Riyo from harm.

He wasn’t dead. The lights above him were bright, even through closed eyes, and he turned his head to the side to escape their glare. When he finally opened them, it was to a blue-skinned woman with golden eyes. “Senator Chuchi.” He mumbled.

“Commander Fox. You’re awake.”

“How long…?”

“Two days. They kept you under while they were assessing the damage. They were deciding if they should retire you or not. I thought that clones didn’t retire.”

“Retire may be the wrong word then. Perhaps decommissioned or ‘put to sleep’ would be a better way to put it.” He watched her eyes widen in horror. “It’s okay, Senator. It doesn’t hurt, not really. One shot and you just fall asleep.”

“Are they going to kill you then, Commander?”

“No, they would’ve done it already.” He moved to sit up, and Senator Chuchi reached over to help. His back burned, but the pain was localized. The blasts didn’t get far into his body. Maybe the assassin thought that the bolts would penetrate through his armor and reach the senator. They would’ve been wrong. Unlike the rest of the GAR, the Coruscant Guard’s armor was made so that they could act as a human shield. As hard as it was for shot to penetrate, it was impossible for it to get back out.

Senator Chuchi didn’t draw back after Fox was upright, keeping her hand on Fox’s shoulder. “That’s no way to thank my hero.”

“I was just doing my job, Senator.”

“Riyo, Commander. Please call me Riyo.” He wasn’t supposed to. The Guard was supposed to stay away from knowing senators on a first-name basis or run the risk of being accused of corruption. And yet, it felt right.

“Then call me Fox. Or CC-1010, if you want to be really personal. But that’s only when I’m in trouble.”

Riyo laughed and let her hand fall from Fox’s shoulder to his forearm. “Are you in trouble often, Fox?”

“What do you think, Riyo?” He savored the way her name rolled off his lips.

She winked in response. “Would you be in trouble if I brought some lunch by your office when you’re healed?”

“No, ma’am. As long as you don’t bring your assassins with you. Have they found out who wants you dead?”

“Not yet, but they will soon. Commander Thire brought the bounty hunter in yesterday. I believe they’re being questioned as we speak.”

“She’s given us nothing yet.” Commander Stone walked into the room with a paper cup of caf in one hand and his helmet in the other and took the seat next to Riyo’s. “But we’ve had plenty on our hands in the meantime. The Senate Guards in charge of the Natural Formations room said that they were dismissed over the official comm channel. Apparently, they didn’t consider the fact that there were still beings in the museum, let alone in the room, and just left without securing the area.”

A beep sounded, and the three beings turned to the machines next to Fox. One monitor was flashing an ‘Elevated Heartrate’ warning.

“That’s what I thought too, Commander. I figured you’d like to chew them out yourself.”

“As a matter of fact, I would. Have the Captain of the Guard in my office tomorrow at 0800.”

Stone nodded. “Sir.”

“You’re going back so soon?” Riyo lightly squeezed his arm.

“Never a day off, Senator.” Fox gave her a weak smile.

“Then I’ll stop by around noon tomorrow.” She turned to Commander Stone. “Can I bring you men anything? I have quite a refreshments budget that I’ve barely dipped into.”

“I couldn’t ask anything of you, Senator Chuchi. But our men did enjoy the sweets that you brought us last time.” Stone was underexaggerating how much they had been appreciated. In a world of ration bars, it was good to see his brothers attempting to split something four to six ways so that everyone could try it.

“Traditional Pantoran delicacies. I’ll bring more if that’s to your liking.”

“That would be very kind of you, Senator.” Fox attempted another small pained smile.

“It would be my pleasure, Commander. I don’t know how I could ever begin to repay you.”

Just looking into those golden eyes was enough. “I don’t suppose you could stay out of trouble.”

“That’s actually why I’m here.” Stone cut back into the conversation. “The senator still needs a security detail so that she can return to her residence. We’ve kept her in a safehouse for the past two nights, but I’m afraid she’s going cage-crazy.”

The pale green on Riyo’s cheeks darkened in what Fox assumed was a Pantoran blush.

“How large a detail?” It was back to business then.

“I was thinking one man inside, two outside the door, one on the roof, and one man on stand-by in a speeder. Do you still have the sensors that Commander Thorn installed, Senator Chuchi?”

“Haven’t touched them, Commander Stone.”

“You’re amazing.” He turned back to Fox. “Thire suggested that you be the one to stay inside the residence. He thought that the arrangement would be more comfortable for both yourself and the senator. You can take some time away from the office, and the senator has a capable bodyguard at all times. Would that be acceptable to you, Senator Chuchi?”

“It would be, thank you.” She said without giving the idea much thought. They’d obviously gone over this as a possibility before. Fox thanked his training for the control he’d taken over his heartrate. No need for them to know how close he was to strangling Thire. He hoped that Riyo hadn’t noticed the sudden tension in his arm.

“Excellent. We’ll put Jek and Impulse on the detail since you know them. Have you met Rys? He and Jek go way back. I’ll put him on there too. I’ll get some more volunteers to swap out when I go back to the office. If you leave your residence, Senator, you must always have at least two men accompanying you. We’ll keep you in the safehouse tonight while we secure your apartment, but after that you are free to go about your duties if accompanied. Otherwise, I think you know the drill by now. And you will have Commander Fox at your beck and call.”

“Thank you, Commander Stone. I’m certain that if the Coruscant Guard is as competent at finding criminals as you are securing buildings this should be over in no time.” She didn’t sound excited at the prospect of returning to normal, and Fox wondered, perhaps hoped, if he had something to do with it.

“If only, Senator. Variables. Come, we should be leaving.” Stone stood, following shortly by Riyo, who looked hesitant to leave.

“Stone, are they planning on running any hypertests this time?” Fox gestured to the datapad that the last medical droid had left on the small table underneath the monitor rack. Stone set down his cup of caf and picked the tablet up, tapping through it familiarly. Riyo moved closer to look over his arm at the screen.

“Don’t see any, sir. From the look of things, you’re close enough to your last physical to be mostly cleared. They’re going to test for any numbing sensations, that’ll probably be conducted through touch, and apparently your ‘vertebral cavity’ was untouched so you should be all good. No lasting impairment, topical senoti cream treatment, clone upkeep records suggest immediate dismissal of ‘CC-1010’.”

Fox nodded, lowering himself back into the pillows of the medical bed. “Thank you, Stone.”

“Commander Stone, could I have a moment alone with Commander Fox?”

“Of course, Senator.” Stone reached over and clapped Fox on the shoulder, giving him a small squeeze of comfort, then stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Riyo turned back to Fox, sitting down once more on the stool and taking his hand. She pulled it into her lap and ran her fingers over the rough callouses that lined his palms. He didn’t dare speak. After a few moments she brought his hand to her lips and planted a kiss across his knuckles before returning the hand to his side.

“Thank you for saving my life.” She said.

“Riyo-.” She placed a finger across his lips as she rose.

“I look forward to seeing you again, Fox.” Then with a swish of her skirt she was gone.

---

“Those golden ones were very nice, Senator.” Riyo stood with Jek and Rys practically pressed against her in the crowded market as they peered down at the selection of sweets before them. Jek and Rys had been assigned as her daytime guard, with two other men whose names she had yet to learn relieving them at night.

"How many men are in the Guard?” She asked, looking to the available tins on display.

“Too many, ma’am. But about fifty usually come through the Senate offices in a day. Ten on staff, probably around forty for meetings or breaks.” Rys answered.

“Thank you. We’re ready to order now!” Riyo flagged down the elderly Pantoran woman who ran the stand and was very familiar with the senator. They ended up with three tins, each of which officially carried thirty sweets, though Riyo was sure that there was more in actuality. One contained solely the golden sweets that Jek had spoken of.

“Thank you, Senator Chuchi.” Jek said as they walked back to the waiting speeder. “It’s not often we get to eat anything besides ration bars and caf.”

“You’re welcome, Jek. But it is really the least I could do after you saved my life.”

“Commander Fox really did all the hard work, ma’am.”

"But the assassin wouldn’t have stopped if it weren’t for the rest of you stepping in.” She glanced around to make sure that no one was listening to their conversation. “How is the commander? He had the meeting with the Captain of the Guard this morning did he not?”

“He did, ma’am.” Rys looked around before continuing. “Ripped the captain a new one. I was in Commander Stone’s office with Jek and we could hear him.”

Jek nodded his agreement. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that angry before. He must have a soft spot for you, Senator.”

“Does he?” Riyo tightened her grip on the tin she was carrying.

"Oh yeah.” Rys nodded. “Don’t worry, you have our blessing if you two want to, well.”

Riyo felt the lines on her cheeks darkening, though the tension in her shoulders began to ease. “Want to what, Rys?”

“To be blunt, ma’am, to pursue some recreational activity. I don’t know, get him to loosen up and live a little. We used to be able to get him down to Seventy-Nine’s with us, but the job is getting to him. Commander Stone has been threatening to drug him to get him to sleep anywhere outside of his office. He’s been in a bad shape ever since the mishandling of the Jedi Temple bombing.” Their arrival at the speeder ended the conversation. Reaching the speeder first, Rys jumped up to help the senator in. By now she was becoming accustomed to the Coruscant Guard’s speeders, but appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

“Where to?” The driver asked. She couldn’t remember who was on shift right now, and she didn’t recognize the back of the driver’s armor. she’d have to check her datapad later.

“The Senate, please.”

---

Riyo watched as every bare eye in the room widened upon her entrance, flitting back and forth between her and the tins she and her company carried. There was at least one exclamation whose meaning she didn’t catch.

“I heard that there wasn’t enough last time.” Her smile widened when her statement was greeted by more than a few nods.

“I think you need to throw yourself in front of more guns, Commander.” A guardsman said, his gaze fixed behind Riyo. She turned to see Fox and Thire entering the room behind her, both fully armored.

“It’s Thire’s turn. But I don’t think that the Chancellor will buy you lot anything.”

“The Chancellor has the Red Guard for dramatics.” Thire dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand. “We’re just there to actually protect him.” The comment brought a wave of chuckles as the men returned to their duties, though their eyes still flickered in Riyo’s direction.

“Come, Senator Chuchi.” Fox waved her into his office as he dismissed Jek and Rys in the same motion. She passed Rys the tin she was carrying for him to place with the others and followed Fox inside, shutting the door behind her.

“No salutes?” She asked.

“If they stood to attention every time Stone, Thire, or I walked into the room we’d get nothing done around here.” He connected the datapad he had been carrying to the computer terminal that sat on the edge of his desk then turned to face her.

“How are you doing, Fox?”

He took a moment to respond. Riyo could only imagine the expression he was wearing underneath the helmet. “I’m… fine. Thank you, Riyo.”

“No.” She shook her head wryly. “How’s your back?”

There was another pause. “It’s fine.”

She shook her head again. “There’s no way, I saw how drugged up you were in the hospital. It must be bothering you.”

“Perhaps a little.” He gave up. “I am still more than capable of carrying out my duties.”

She stepped towards him and placed a hand on his bicep, drumming her fingers against the plastoid that greeted her. She could imagine the tired man from the hospital under the red armor. Despite Fox being taller and a trained soldier she wanted desperately to protect him. “All the same, your body needs to rest so it can heal.”

“With respect, Riyo, it’s not my body. It’s the Republic’s.”

“Is it? I thought that the great Commander Fox was to protect me, not the Republic.” She let her hand fall from his shoulder, sliding down his arm as she raised her head to look at him.

His helmet turned ever to slightly to his left in a minuscule nod, which she was beginning to recognize as his gesture denoting humor. “Point taken. We should depart for your apartment soon. I want to go over security with you.”

“If you can get Jek and Rys back out the door that would be fine by me.” Her comment drew a shallow laugh from Fox before he unplugged the datapad and escorted her back into the mild delicacy-caused chaos of the main office space.

---

“What would you boys like for dinner?”

Fox looked up from the datapad to where Riyo was reclined in the oversized chair. “We don’t eat on shift.”

“Then what do you want for dinner? They have shifts, you don’t.”

“I’ll eat a ration bar.” He’d put a few in the small pack he’d brought from the barracks. She shook her head. Fox wasn’t used to being refuted and here she’d challenged him more in the past two days than he had ever been in his life. Sure, Stone and Thire would defy him from time to time, but that was between brothers of equal military rank. This was a civilian, a senator but still a civilian. He rather liked it.

“That’s not dinner, Fox. I’ll make a stir fry.” She set the datapad she had been writing on onto the arm of the chair and walked across the room to the small kitchen. Once she’d begun to heat a pan she turned back to Fox. “Do you know what stir fry is?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Then come help me chop the vegetables if you have a moment. I’ll show you. I learned this recipe from one of my representatives.”

Fox rose from the couch, biting back a groan of pain as the movement rippled down his back. He’d never realized how many actions travel through the spine before now. But he couldn’t let Riyo know how much pain he was still in. She’d have a hard time forgiving herself for being the cause of it.

She pushed a knife and what he assumed was a ‘vegetable’ into his hands and showed him how she wanted him to cut it. It was much easier than he assumed, and almost fun when Riyo was whisking around him in the tiny kitchen. He’d never cooked before, nor watched any being cook, and he was a little suspicious when she dumped everything into the single pan.

“There’s no way it’s that easy.” He said when she declared dinner to be ready.

“It’s that easy.” She grinned, presenting him with a bowl. He took it from her hesitantly. “Don’t look so nervous. It’s good food.” She chided, leading him over to the bar separating the living spaces from the kitchen. He felt her eyes on him as he hesitantly took a bite.

“That’s weird.” He said finally.

“What do you mean, weird?” He was worried that he’d offended her, but her eyes were still playful as she watched him take another bite.

“I’ve never tasted anything like this. Any of it.”

“How about the meat?”

“Not in this form. I guess ours is more ground up and we don’t put anything on it.” Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure it was meat anymore by the time it arrived in the mess hall.

"The sauce is the best part!” Her gaze was still playful, but also sad. He still wasn’t sure if he liked the food, there was almost too much flavor, but he didn’t dislike it either, so he tried to match the pace at which Riyo was eating. Eating for pleasure was a foreign concept, but something about this brought her joy so he would play along. He was good at improvising.

They didn’t speak much after dinner. Riyo went back to her notes and Fox went back to the files Thire had sent him. The bounty hunter had started talking and the Guard had already brought up a variety of beings who could be responsible for the attack. There had been threats made the week before the gala, that had been the reason for Chairman Papanoida’s security request, but any motives were still unknown.

Fox had been pouring over Riyo’s file and what she had recently supported or not supported when a chronometer chimed 2200. He closed the file with a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. He’d need to put more of the senoti cream on his wounds. Despite his initial reservations about the Endorian tree sap, it appeared to be working. While the bacta treatment he received had healed most of the wounds, the senoti cream was supposed to help prevent excessive scarring, which may have restricted his movement. Or so he was told. He set the datapad aside and stood up from the couch. “Is there a place I could lay my armor out of the way?”

Riyo glanced up from her datapad. “Anywhere you like. The top of my dresser is clean if you would like to store it off of the ground.”

He nodded and grabbed his helmet off of the side table where it had passed the evening. In her bathroom he stripped off the upper half of his armor and pulled his blacks down to his hips. He had left his pack by the bathroom door earlier, and he pulled out the jar that he’d been given upon being discharged from the medical facility.

“Let me help you with that.” He turned to see Riyo standing in the doorway.

“Riyo, I can’t-.” She reached out and took the container from Fox.

“Yes, you can.” She ran her hand over his bare shoulder and turned him so that he was facing the mirror. Fox watched her reflection as she dipped her fingers in the jar then reached towards his waist. He let out a groan as her fingers rubbed against his skin. “Your back is so tight.” She muttered, massaging the cream into the damaged tissue. “Have you ever considered a massage?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

"Come here." Riyo stepped back, then walked into her bedroom. He grabbed his armor from the counter and followed her. "Lie down on the bed.” Hesitantly, he lay his armor on the dresser and crossed the room to her bed, where she pushed him into the soft blankets. “Close your eyes, that’s an order.” He did as he was told as she brought the senoti cream onto the wound between his shoulders. This one was less painful, had been less severe, but he allowed himself to sigh as she worked the cream into his skin. Then her hands moved back down to his hips, her fingers trailing across his skin, and pressed down into his lower back. He let out another groan as she kneaded her hands against his skin. Maybe his muscles were tight. “Who knew that the great Commander Fox, leader of the Coruscant Guard and my own personal savior, would be such a sap for back rubs.” She whispered down to him. He tried to think of a clever response, but she’d moved her hands up to his midback and he let out the first sound that he would’ve labelled a moan. It felt like his ribs were shifting under her touch, maybe they were.

“Don’t tell the boys.” He hummed into the blanket.

“Never.” He could feel her hair draping down against his back now. It felt so nice to be enveloped in her. He pushed away the mental image of her holding him in her arms. It wasn’t right. They would be ruined. The image came back anyways once she reached his shoulders. “Sit up, I need a better angle.”

He pushed himself off of the blankets and realized that his face must be flushed from the shock of cold air. If it was, Riyo paid it no mind, moving Fox to sit on the edge of her bed as she sat down cross-legged behind him. Now she started from the top of his neck, moving down in slow circular motions. Once she’d reached the base of his neck Riyo uncrossed her legs and wrapped them around him, scooting her body closer to his. He didn’t say a thing, and neither did she as she worked her way across and back down to his shoulder blades. Her hands came to rest with her right hand on his shoulder, and her left hand on his side. Then he was being pulled backwards, coming to rest with his head against her chest. He took her right hand in his, holding it to his chest, and hesitantly stretched his left arm back so that his hand lay beside her head, enveloped in soft purple curls. He felt her head turn from the movement of her hair, then felt a kiss being planted on the inside of his wrist.

“Senator Chuchi, I believe that I would like to see you again.”

“And what makes you say that, Commander Fox?” Her voice hummed against the back of his head. He turned his head to the side, laying his ear against her sternum and listening to her heartbeat.

“I don’t think I know the words to express that desire, Senator.” Her hand moved from his side to his head and she ran her fingers through his curly hair.

“Then try your best.”

“I think that I would like to die here, in your arms. A shot to the chest or gut and fading away in your embrace.”

“And what other death would that be preferable to?” Her voice came out with a slight quiver, but her touch didn’t falter as she continued to run her fingers through Fox’s hair.

“Bleeding out on the concrete platform of some landing strip because of a speeder-bomb. Aspirating blood for some senator voting against being’s rights. Gutted by some bounty hunters trying to cash in on a senatorial bounty.” He suddenly fell silent, biting back the deaths of his brothers.

“Then I guess you’ll have to become my personal bodyguard, so I can always be there.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Fox. I can only imagine the things you’ve seen.”

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink further into her embrace even as guilt gnawed at him. “I don’t deserve this. You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Then tell me.”

He couldn’t have stopped himself from speaking if he tried.

“I killed one of my brothers.” He felt her chest stutter against his head, but then her breathing deepened once more and he continued. “I don’t remember firing the shot. I was in the Chancellor’s office, then I was watching him fall to the ground. It’s like someone else took over. It should’ve been set to stun; it’s always set to stun.” His voice broke and he stopped. Riyo’s hand continued to stroke his hair as he felt a tear slide down his cheek.

“You’re a good solider, Fox. You were following orders.”

“Following orders, when you know they’re wrong?”

“They never raised you to question authority.” Her hand stopped to rest in his hair. “Maybe I’m overstepping my bounds as a senator right now.”

“Riyo, you’re not forcing me to do anything. I’m supposed to obey my authority figures, but I still know how I want to react.”

“And right now?”

“I want to follow your orders, Senator. I want this.” The last bit came out breathier and more desperate than he had intended. Riyo didn’t respond, but she drew her arms away and moved to sit up. Fox obliged, sliding himself off the bed to stand before her.

“Could you stay in my bed with me tonight, Commander?” Her eyes were wide and cautious, and so gold.

“I’d love to.” If she’d asked a day earlier when he was hooked up to the monitors the machine would’ve read ‘Irregular Heartbeat’.

She rose off the bed to stand before him. “Let me change into bedclothes then.” Then she pattered back towards the bathroom. She turned back to him when she got to the doorframe. “Make yourself comfortable, however you would sleep in the barracks.” She looked him up and down. “Or, stay how you are.” Then she was out of his sight.

Normally, in the barracks Fox would sleep in his blacks with his armor half assembled on his body so that he could rush when called for. He didn’t think that the senator would like to sleep next to a pile of plastoid. He pulled his blacks back over his torso and began to disassemble his armor from the hips down, laying it in a neat pile with the rest of the armor on the dresser. He placed his comm on top. Riyo hadn’t returned, so he took a seat on the edge of her bed to wait, not wanting to overstep his bounds. He ran his hands over the soft blanket beneath him, still wrestling with the implications of what he and the senator were doing, and was almost startled when Riyo reentered the room, wearing a purple satin jumpsuit that fell loosely over her frame. She had pulled her hair down, and it hung around her face in a soft puff. Everything in her room was soft. She walked over to him and lowered herself onto his lap, straddling his legs and pulling his arms around her hips before wrapping her arms around his neck. “I would love for you to hold me, Fox. If it fancies you.” She brought one hand back from his neck and gently ran her thumb across his lips, and he felt her other fingers brush against the scars that crossed his throat.

“It does.” He muttered against her thumb. He reached up from her waist and pulled her down into the pillows beside him. She squirmed for a moment to pull the blankets up over them before burrowing her head into his chest. He wrapped one arm around her, as he had when he’d taken the blasts meant for her, and pulled her closer to himself, turning slightly onto his back so that she was pillowed in his chest.

“Commander Fox, I believe that I would like to see you again.” She mumbled.

“And what makes you say that, Senator Chuchi?”

“I don’t think I know the words to express that desire, Fox.”

He was so screwed if one of his men walked in. He decided that it was worth it though. He could feel his execution already, but if he was going to die for the Republic it was going to be on his terms. Of all the things he could be die for, loving a senator felt like the best option.

New Beginnings

Did I make myself cry? Yes. Did I do this to make all of you cry? Yes. I really hope you guys enjoyed this short because we’re getting to that time of year that family is important. Not just blood. But everyone who you love! If you’d like to be tagged in everything I write or want specific tags let me know! And I will see you all in the next post!

Masterlist

taglist: 

@mexifangorl @i-live-for-queen @leah-halliwell92 @its-funny-til-its-not @brianmydear @bonafiderocketqueen @filmslutt @natalijalucreziah @crayonwriting @owensgrxdy @seven-seas-of-fuck-you @deacyspatronusisacheesetoastie​ @darlingyourebeingabore​ @kokomercury​ @littledolly39​ @seven-seeds-of-rhye​ @hodgepodge-of-rog​ @teathymewithben​

No matter how hard John and I tried for kids..we only have been lucky twice and each pregnancy was brutal, almost life threatening to the point even doctors told me if I had a third child I would pass away. But the one thing that John and I have always wanted was to have a big family, the picket fence, and a modest house. 

Well. One of those things isn’t possible since he became apart of Queen and the last modest house we had was bombarded by fans. So we had to move again and get a nice home with a good wall of trees blocking the people from prying eyes. Not my type of environment that I would’ve enjoyed but still a fence I guess in all things considered. 

He had just gotten back from the Hot Space tour and was working on the finances in the dining room. He always took care of Queens finances and for some reason wanted to take care of ours as well. No matter how many times I’ve pestered he wouldn’t budge. Placing the tea set down in front of him as I wrapped myself around his upper body then kissing his forehead. 

“What? Do I have something on me?” Looking down at myself to make sure there wasn’t a stain or even a bug on my pajamas. 

“No. You just look stunning.” Even after six years after marriage, that cheeky devil still makes me blush. Handing him his cup of tea as he took a sip to focus back on the paperwork. But he wasn’t really reading it or anything..just staring at the bills and everything else. 

“How’s the financing going? Freddie and Roger sending us to the poor house yet?” Giggling which made John smile a little bit. There was something on his mind that I can’t quite put a finger on. Is he mad at me? 

“Not quite yet. But luckily we decided to take a few months off which is perfect because..because I have this idea I wanna run by you.” An idea? If he thinks I’m packing up the kids rooms and mine again it’s going to be a harsh no. He put down the paper and pen as I sat down to scoot my chair closer to him. 

“If we’re moving again..”

“No no. Nothing like that. This place is absolutely perfect. I..I want to talk to you about an idea that I’ve been bouncing around in my head. Remember our old friends Jared and his wife Rosie.” Jared and Rosie..AH! Yes! One of the couples we used to hang out with when we went to the discos. 

“Yes. What about them? Are they okay?” 

“Of course they are. So I talked to Jared about adoption. How they felt, what to be looking for and everything.” This..this is all so sudden oh my god. Adoption? Never really considered it since I was raised that a women should always be able to pop out babies left and right. But every time I’d go through a pregnancy. It would just be an absolute nightmare on my body. Yes we have two wonderful children in our lives and I take care of them like an absolute pro when Johns working in the studio or out on tour for months at a time. 

“John. Are you wanting to adopt?” Asking him as he scooted my chair closer to him. He grabbed my hands with a very tight grip. 

“We both want a big family...who says the children have to be blood anyhow. The boys are family and were not even closely related. All though I do have some theory that Roger and Freddie were once past lovers but that’s a different conversation.” We laughed as we kept staring at each other. 

“I’ll agree to this on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“You have to be around a little more. I’m not asking you to quit the band or even not show up to rehearsals on a daily basis. But a little more help on the home front would really be appreciated. I knew exactly what I was getting into when we decided to have kids, but I’m really not enjoying Robert asking me when is father going to be home for more than a month.” I didn’t mean it to sound so harsh..we both knew exactly what we were getting into with this life. But when both of your kids ask you where there father is every day at night time. It gets very depressing. He wasn’t angry about what I said but he was taken a bit back. 

“John I’m sorry..that isn’t fair..” 

“No you’re right.” He pulled me up on his lap as he cupped my face for a very passionate kiss. My arms wrapping around his neck as we continued to suck each other’s faces. 

We stopped for a moment since we heard the sound of dragging feet coming from the hallway. Michael came out of the hallway in his onesie that Freddie bought him from Japan and his favorite purple blanket. 

“Michael. What are you doing up? It’s way past your bedtime little man.” John told him as I climbed off his lap for Michael to continue walking towards us. 

“I had a bad dream.” He rubbed his eyes since he had little tear stains across his cheek. John jumping into action as he scooped Michael up in his arms as he sat back down with me at the dinner table. Michael wrapped himself around him as John began rubbing his back slowly. 

“Now. What would chase away all the bad dreams tonight Michael?” He kept himself around John till he popped his head up with that smile John gave him. It was the kind of smile that would make women fall head over heels about them, and could get away with murder. 

“Ice cream.” He smiled as John shook his head at him. 

“No no. It’s far too late for ice cream Michael and you know that.” John laughed at Michael who was now upset that he wasn’t getting ice cream now. 

“What’s will all the noise?” Robert was next coming out wearing his Mickey Mouse shirt and striped pj bottoms. 

“Just talking. Come on and join us.” Robert walked over to me as I helped him up on my lap. John began rubbing his hands up and down Michael's back to hopefully cause him to fall right back to sleep. 

“Dad. Are you going on tour again?” Robert asked as John looked at him with his adorable smile. 

“Nope. Dads going to be taking a little bit of a break. And we’ve got some exciting news for you guys. You are possibly going to be having a new brother or sister coming soon.” Robert looked at me for a second to then get off my lap. 

“I don’t want a new brother or sister! I like it just the four of us!” He crossed his arms at us as I crossed mine back at him.

“That’s not fair. Don’t you want to have more kids to play with when you’re with dad on tour? Surely playing Michael or even Jimmy gets rather dull after a while, doesn't it?” 

“I have Uncle Freddie! He enjoys playing scrabble with me!” He stormed out of the dining room then slamming his door shut. I was about to get up but John shook his head at me. 

“Tomorrow will take these two with us to the orphanage and let them get comfortable with the kids. Told the boys I would be very busy these next couple of weeks so no studio work and party for this man.” Michael snored a little as we saw he was passed out in Johns chest. He placed a soft kiss on his forehead as he got up from the chair to then tuck him back into the bedroom. 

Following closely behind them as John was being such a kick ass dad. Stuffing Michael underneath the covers then grabbing his polar bear stuffie from the ground to put it right next to him. God how the hell did I get so lucky to meet this man? Oh yeah because roller skating and accidentally running into him while racing my sister. 

~~

We pulled up to the large mansion to see a bunch of children running around the front yard and on the large porch. Robert wasn’t saying a word to us but at least Michael was super excited about seeing all the children. I climbed out of the car then unhooking Michael from the car seat as Robert climbed out of his side of the car. 

One of the nuns came walking out of the house towards us as I held Michael up in my arms as Robert was holding John's hand. The nun looked very excited to see us coming. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Deacon I’m so glad you made it today! My name is Sister Elise. And who are these two precious little kids?” She kneeled down to Roberts height who was still mad at the idea. 

“This is Michael..and the sour ball is Robert. He’s not talking sister.” John told her as she nodded. 

“Guess the idea of gaining another brother or sister makes you angry doesn’t it?” I get the feeling she’s done something like this before. 

“Nope.” He told her as he finally uncrossed his arms. Jesus he holds a grudge longer than me. 

“Why don’t you join the children for lunch? We’re serving a big pot of homemade chicken and noodles. Would you like that Robert?” She asked as Robert shook his head. 

“Robert. It looks like they’re playing red rover in the yard. Wanna go play with them before lunch?” He let go of John's hand and was already rounding the fence to go play with the other children. 

“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to do that with every other sibling. Now let’s give you a tour and let you see all the children.” We walked through the fence to start our small tour. 

“Do you know what age you’re wanting to adopt by chance?” We walked up to the large wrap around porch as we watched a few of the children playing red rover. Robert was already running into the line of kids. One of the boys came up to him to help him up from the ground and they began talking up a storm. 

“Definitely older than a toddler. With him on the road so much it’s just easier to have a child whose already capable of..well you know.” We were escorted inside to see even more running around. 

“Completely understandable. Now why don’t I let you two roam free around the bottom floor so you can see and get to know the children for a few moments. Have to make sure lunch is ready. If you’ll excuse me.” She walked away as we put Michael down to hold his hand. He watched the children running around the building and was getting excited. 

We snuck our heads into one of the empty rooms to see a group of kids playing some sort of board game. Michael walked into the room and stood above the children playing a game. One of the children looked up at him as they moved over so he could play with them. 

John wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we watched Michael playing the game with them. A herd of children came running in from outside while Robert and a fellow kid were talking to each other. 

“You never have watched Mr. Rogers?” Robert asked them as the kid shook his head. 

“It’s the greatest show in the world! Mr. Rogers is one of the coolest people in the world!” Robert continued on as he walked into one of the classrooms with him. 

“And he didn’t want a new sibling.” John commented, kissing my forehead as we looked back to see Michael no longer sitting in the circle. We walked in to see him watching a boy painting on a small canvas. He kept walking until he was standing right next to him. 

“Hi. I’m Michael.” He told him as the kid turned in his seat then smiling at Michael. 

“Hi Michael. I’m Hershel.” Michael held out his hand to Hershel as he light shook it then went back to painting. I was the first to walk towards Michael then bending down to hold Michael by his shoulders. 

“Do you like his paintings?” Asking Michael as he shook his head. Hershel turned himself around towards me with an adorable smile. 

“I’m Izzy. I must say your paintings are wonderful. Have you painted all of your life?” 

“Yeah. My mom taught me how to paint when I was little.” His painting was all green as he was tracing a large circle on the canvas. 

“What’s this one about?” 

“The other day I was children playing with all the rubber bouncy balls out front and I watched all the colored balls mixing together. Thought it was really cool.” He went back to his painting as John joined us to look at his painting.

“Do you like other kinds of art?” John asked as we kept watching him paint. 

“I sketch sometimes but I would really love to do ceramics one day. Sister says that eventually she’ll get me a machine so I can make all kinds of pots, vases, and all other kinds of everything.”

“LUNCH TIME!” A kid screamed into the room as it was cleared out swiftly leaving the three of us alone. 

We walked into the dining room to see Robert and the kid he played Red Rover with were still getting along famously. Sister Elise walked towards us with a bright smile on her face. 

“What do you think? I know you’ve only been here for a few moments.”

“How old is Hershel?” John asked as Sister Elise looked around to see him eating his lunch. 

“Hershel is nine years old. Anyone else.” John looked for Robert and the Sister followed. 

“That is Bradley. Would you two like to sit down with Bradley and get to know him? We’ve got plenty for lunch.” 

“Absolutely.” We told him as the sister nodded to walk over where Robert and Bradley were sitting. She whispered to them as Bradleys face lit up like a Christmas tree. He grabbed his bowl and was already zooming towards us.

“Bradley Denver! It’s quite a pleasure to meet you!” He held out his hand to me as I grabbed it for one wild handshake. He then stood in front of John whose eyes were widened at this bouncing bundle of joy! 

“John Deacon and this is Izzy Deacon. It’s quite a pleasure to meet you as well.” Sister Elise moved past us as we began walking to the large living room where we sat with Hershel. 

“Mom! Dad! Bradley has this really cool collection of almost all the Star Trek action figures! He said that I could come over sometime to play with them!” Robert was bouncing along with Bradley as they sat down on the floor next to each other. The two of them didn’t even notice us as they went off to their own world. 

My hand moved down to Johns as we sat back to watch Robert and Bradley become the best of friends. Robert has definitely inherited his father's shyness and my hard head. He hasn’t got any real close friends since we moved around a little too much...and his shyness. 

“So Bradley. What else do you like besides Star Trek?” Before he answered. He swallowed his food and whipped his mouth. 

“I love science! At school I won all the science fairs and even was told that I have quite the future in it!” 

“What kind of science?” John was already intrigued by him. 

“Mostly Earth and the weather. It’s really cool and last year I did an experiment on the level of atmospheres! We sent a lego on a balloon to see how far he could go up before he popped!” Bradley kept going on and on about his experiments he’s done in school as Robert and John were completely intrigued. 

Speaking of which where’s Michael? I looked around to see Michael wasn’t in the room. Whispering in Johns ear that I was going to look for him. I imagine he found a cool toy to play with or an empty room. Leaving the living room to see him and Hershel out in the hallway as he was watching him doodle. 

“Now you use this pencil for much more finer lines. See how I draw that triangle there? Come on, give me your hand.” Hershel reached over to little Michael and began drawing shapes on the paper. Not going to cry..not going to cry. God damn it. 

“Hey..hey what’s wrong?” John asked as he gripped my shoulders as I placed my hand on one of his. 

“I’ve just..I’ve never seen our boys so happy..” Giggling and crying as John wrapped himself behind me. Hearing a few sniffles from him as Sister Elise came over to us with a box of tissues. 

“I’m assuming you do this often.” John laughed as I whipped my eyes. 

“Why don’t we go upstairs to see their files and everything else you’ll need to know.” Nodding as I dried my eyes with a few tissues. 

Sitting down in her office as she began going through the files. Hershel is eleven so he’s at a perfect again..and Bradley must be a little younger than Robert from looking at him from a distance. 

“Hershel came to us a few months ago from Darlington. He keeps to himself most of the time since he’s brand new to the system. His mother was single and ended up leaving him alone in their tiny apartment to run off to Ireland. Now Bradley has been here since he was a little tot. But he’s full of energy and as you can already tell is a very good people person.” She handed me the file of Hershel and John the file for Bradley. 

“Would you give us a moment please?” John asked as she nodded to leave her office. 

“What are you thinking Izzy?” John asked as I began replaying the feeling of how him and Robert were completely entranced by Bradley talking about his interest in science, and how Michael and I watched Hershel paint his gorgeous paintings. 

“They’re both extraordinary John. The way Bradley brought Robert out of his shell in a matter of seconds. Hershel just seemed so nice and wonderful..I know we’ve only spoke to them for a brief minute..But..John..they’re..I already see the future with them. Robert and Bradley during the day playing outside in the small woods around our house.” 

“Michael following behind them. Hershel out in the garden sketching or in his room working on his paintings. Izzy. I would love nothing more than to fill that house of ours with nothing but children and a lovely cat. I want this to. Robert has never looked so enticed with such a person and I imagine the scrabble games are going to be even more dramatic than with him and Freddie. For Michael we can have his room was also a good place for him to do his paintings. The one to the left that faces the yard with all the natural sunlight.” Climbing onto him to hug him as the whole scene was playing in my head. 

“Wait are we doing this?” We stopped hugging each other to smile at each other. Realizing we were going to adopt two lovely children. 

“Sister! Sister!” He called as she stuck her head in to see our childish behavior. 

“Now we’ll get the paperwork started and set a date for them to be dropped off at home.” Squeezing each other as tightly as we could. 

*Three Weeks Later*

At this point I couldn't tell who was more excited about the new arrivals of our family. Me, John, or Freddie. When we eventually told everyone the news of our family growing in ranks. Freddie was already on top of house warming gifts for each one of them. He bought top line art supplies for Hershel and all different types of paints. The entire color scheme if he could. Now for Bradley. It was all Star Wars and Star Trek of everything. 

Sadly we couldn’t have Freddie be here the first night since we wanted them to adjust to their new homes. But as soon as tomorrow rolls around I know he plans on coming over immediately to meet with them. 

Robert and Michael were coloring at the coffee table in the living room as I was finishing up the mashed potatoes for dinner tonight. Their first home cooked meal shall be a lamb roast, mashed potatoes, carrots, and I even made a delicious chocolate pudding. 

“John can you pass me the pepper?” Asking as he stood next to me and began pouring a little pepper into the potatoes. Looking down to see him wearing the Minnie Mouse apron we got on our first trip to Disney. 

“Baby. You’re looking pretty damn cute in my apron.” Pinching his butt as he checked the roast for me. It was juicy and smelled exactly what I was wanting it to be. Absolutely perfect. 

“Thank you baby. Thought it looked good on you that night we celebrated my birthday, but now it looks absolutely perfect on me.” Shaking my head at him as I closed the lid for the roast to keep it cooking. The carrots were done being cooked as I grabbed my tasting spoon making sure that they were good enough. Delicious. 

“Mommy! Mommy they’re here!” Robert yelled from the living room as I turned down all the pots then placing the lids on top of them. Whipping my hands on my aprons as Robert went flying out of the front door. Michael was trying to follow behind but fell right down onto the floor. John picked up him as we stopped in the doorway to see Sister Elise and one of her fellow sisters were coming up to the house. 

We stood outside in the cold but we didn’t even notice it as the four of us were too excited and happy for our new children. The car parked as Bradley was already out of the car to get a look at the house. 

“This house is awesome! I’ve never seen such a house in my life!” His smile was gleaming with joy. He had his backpack on as one of the sisters walked to the trunk for the rest of their bags. 

“You’ve got woods! Are we allowed to play in them!?” Bradley was bouncing even more than before. 

“Yup. The whole woods is for you two to have fun and do whatever you want.” 

“AWESOME!” 

“C’mon Bradley! I’ll show you to your room.” Robert almost dragged him inside the house but stopped to give John a huge hug. 

“So when can I call you dad sir?” John laughed as he bent down to his level. 

“Whenever you’re ready son.”

“Well Dad. Glad to be along for the ride and I promise to be the best son I can be for ya!” He gave John one more hug till he ran past them then towards me and almost jumping up into my arms. 

“Mom! I promise to be the greatest rascal I can be! But always in control mom!” Bradley is absolute adorable oh my god! He moved past me to walk inside with Robert. 

Hershel was still standing by the car with his little back full of stuff as the sister stood next to him. He looked absolutely nervous and looked like he was going to jump back into the car and want to go back to the orphanage. 

John walked down the stairs towards him to hold his hand out to him. Following behind him to look over his shoulder as Hershel reached his hand out to grab his. Oh my god I’m gonna start crying again. God this felt like holding Robert again for the first time. Hershel then wrapped himself with John for a very tight hug and I swear John was literally about to cry. 

“Are you ever going to leave me..?” He muffled in Johns shirt as it tipped him over the edge. God damn it the water works. 

“I will let you two be. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Deacon.” Sister Elise waved goodbye to us as Hershel kept a tight grip around John. My hand sat on top of his head for a brief moment to whisper to John that I was going in to check on the boys and dinner. 

Walking back inside to see Michael was still sitting on the floor coloring and two pounding children were upstairs in their rooms. It was starting to feel truly at home now. The timer dinged as the roast was ready to be served. I walked over to the bottom of the stairs 

“Boys! Dinner is ready!” Yelling as the thunder of feet came rounding the corner then towards the stairs. Walking into the living room to scoop up Michael as John and Hershel came inside. 

“Hope you two enjoy lamb because I made a delicious lamb stew for the first night.” Putting Michael down on the chair as the boys ran into the kitchen. 

“Is that lamb? Mom I love lamb!” Bradley grabbed an empty plate as he began pouring food on his plate then followed by Robert. 

“Hershel. Please feel free to take as much as you want for dinner. I also made us a chocolate pudding for dessert.” Hershel’s face brightened as he moved past me to start pouring food on his plate. I grabbed Michaels little plate to scoop him some food as John wrapped himself around me. 

“I love you Izzy. I know I don’t say it enough...but God do I love you so much. Our little family is now whole.” Turning back to see his tear stained cheeks which was going to make me cry again. 

“I love you to John our little family is now complete.” We kissed passionately as we just embraced each other. 

“EEEWWW!” Robert and Bradley yelled from the dining room which made us laugh more at each other. 

Yup..our family is now whole..

Morning Pages No. 61

Monday 24th August - 1:04pm

I know that it’s a bit late in the day to start this entry, but I needed another bit of a morning off. Evan and I had an early night last night but we had sex first. We were both so tired afterwards due to consistent daily workouts, that we ended up falling asleep naked and staying asleep till about 8am. To be clear, we went to bed around 10:30pm, so it was a long night of sleep for both of us. I’m grateful for it though, because even though my calves still hurt like crazy, I do feel refreshed and like the healing process is underway. What did we do this morning? The son of a bitch restarted Breath of the Wild and we’ve both been playing on his new save file. I have to buy another copy of that game because I really want to replay it now. Even so, I have a lot of work to do and I’m yet to make proper headway on Julie’s new site. It’s coming along relatively fine in Squarespace but I’ve only worked on it for about an hour and I’ve yet to add the privacy policy and finetune a lot of the product links. I feel like we’ll absolutely need to add some copy for the products, and definitely put a disclaimer about the use of fabric softener either at the top of the description or below...or both? It’s pretty important.

I’ve been chatting to Sarah on Whatsapp. I feel like Sarah is a bit of a better influence on me than Wren, but I hate that I’m comparing them both in my head. I just feel a bit disheartened in my relationship with Wren, because of all the horrid experiences I’ve had with them over the course of this year. It’s been quite confronting to see how Wren acts when they’ve decided they’re in a more dire situation than me...like I’m not even sure if that’s what’s happened, but that’s what it’s felt like to me. I can’t understand how they’ve just been able to decide that just because they’re living alone, this time is harder on them? I don’t know. And even if it is harder, which I can admit that it most likely is, that doesn’t mean that I should have to incorporate addressing their pain into my life on a daily basis. I was willing to chat every day. But I also don’t want to feel like my life has to be placed on hold for them, whenever they may want me. I’ve felt like that enough in this friendship as it is. I’ve given them whatever I’m capable of giving, and I’ve given them a hell of a lot more than I’ve given any other friend I have ever had. Except, maybe, for Malith. But Malith has certainly given me more than I’ve given him. Goddamn. I’m fighting the urge to delete this whole paragraph, but I deserve to express myself. This year has been fucking hard for me. I’ve not been suicidal, because that part of my life is over. Even if Evan and I break up, that part of my life will always always be over. It’s no longer an option in my head, to go down that route. It’s a time-waster. There are better things to do than yearn without end, than wish for better than you’ve got. I’ve been dealt both a bad and good hand, and it’s only bad because I see it as so. It’s only good because I see it as so. Wren needs to learn that everyone has fucked up mums, figuratively speaking. Everyone has SOMETHING that they wish they had lived without. Everyone has SOMETHING that they wished was just a smidge better than it was. I don’t want any part of explaining all the fucked up shit that has happened to me over the course of my childhood. I don’t want to have a dick-measuring contest when it comes to depression and trauma. Fuck that. I’d much rather live in the present and be happy with the life I’ve built for myself. Even Wren needs to feel their privilege to a certain degree. It would be ludicrous if they didn’t. Two apartments, a job that they love that compensates them really fucking well, and an abundance of resources that provides them with independence and agency. I have so little of all that they have, and I’m working my ass off for next to nothing in return, just building up a resume that may not even receive a stolen glance at the end of all of this mindful building. Who knows? My fate rests in the hands of people who I feel quite sincerely don’t want me to succeed. I have a name and face and degree that is just...unhireable. But I don’t let that beat me the fuck down, because I know that I work harder and fucking smarter than anyone else on that pile of resumes. So I keep going, knowing that my work will become of a benefit to whichever organisation I end up representing.

My whole being right now is just revolving around entering the industry, like properly becoming a content writer and being able to actually use my degree to begin to pay off that motherfucking HECS debt. I know I’m swearing a fucking lot, but I feel like it’s actually helping me so I’m not going to stop. I don’t care who reads this and who judges me for it because at the end of the day, you’re the ones reading these sensitive pages on a blog that I’ve told nobody about. How did you get here?

I’m feeling paranoid, fired up. I can feel it in my fingers. My hands are freezing cold, and Evan’s in the one room that has the heater and he’s sitting there on his ass with the door shut. And I’m starting to feel like maybe I always find myself on the outside because I allow myself to get there. I have to start standing up for my damn self, but also...I know how to choose my battles, I suppose. Is it knowing how to choose your battles if you partake in a MINIMAL number of battles? Like a fractional amount of battles to the battles that you could have potentially fought in? Fuck. Nicky’s sleeping on my white vest. I may need to patch that up, but the inner fabric is so sheer, I’m not entirely sure how it’ll respond to a needle and thread. I may need excess fabric...we’ll see.

My cross-stitch order is on the way, and I’m excited to begin this new activity. I bought a hot air balloon pattern for Wren, I’m not sure if I’ve already said that. I’m looking forward to learning how to do this, because apparently it’s quite similar to knitting? Or at least the basics of knitting. I’ve heard that cross-stitch is a good introduction to knitting. After this, it may be good to see if I can give crochet a go too, but it’s also a little bit intimidating. I mean crochet is all about three-dimensional creations, whereas cross-stitch and knitting are generally more...patterned art, scarves, and blankets. Still functional, but more veering on the side of two-dimensionality. I’m a touch surprised that ‘dimensionality’ is a word. It feels like the kind of word that a primary school-aged student would assert is ‘ACTUALLY A WORD’, even though you know it’s not. OH, listen to this fresh hell! That ‘SNACCIDENT’ Typo lunch mug thingo we have says that the word ‘SNACCIDENT’ is a VERB, which is plain RIDICULOUS. If the word ‘accident’ is a noun and they’re claiming that ‘SNACCIDENT’ is a verb, then a sample sentence using that word would read as follows: ‘Henry snaccidented’. VERBS ARE FUCKING DOING WORDS. In no CONCEIVABLE UNIVERSE would ‘SNACCIDENT’ be considered a VERB. My fucking lord. These pages are just RAGE-FILLED, aren’t they? Which is actually pretty interesting, because I don’t feel mad? I feel fine. I feel a little bit annoyed that it’s almost 1:30pm and I’ve not done a lick of work either today or yesterday. I’m thinking I should send Julie a text today asking if she’d be free to meet up again sometime early next week, maybe Tuesday or Wednesday? I feel like I could make great progress on the website during that time. We shall see what happens. We shall see what I eventually get around to doing. I need money, gosh darn...

I feel like I’ve been writing a lot about money during these pages, and I understand why. Money has become a bit of an issue for me since moving out, which I know...doesn’t necessarily need to be said. But you must understand that I’m studying AND working AND working AND working AND working. And I’m still not making that much. It’s frustrating. I’m trying not to think about it right now because of lockdown and the fact that the bulk of my situation is currently out of my own control, but this is all really because of the house. Just knowing that Evan and I are ready for that step is enough for me to just want it now. The issue is - as is usually the case - MONEY. If we had enough for at least a 10% deposit, that would be insane. But a 10% deposit on a house valued at $500,000 is $50,000, and combined we only have HALF of that. If we could potentially get some rich parents or guardians to match what we have, then we could actually do it. But who even has rich parents or guardians? And I don’t think my dad would sign off on this until maybe after we’re married? I’m fighting the urge to go check if the house is still even listed online. I’m hopeful that it’ll be up until we have the money. Or maybe until we can get to a combined $30,000, to give us a bit of a buffer once we’ve given the rest of our money to whichever gross corporation decides to grant us a loan. Ahhhhhh. Why does this world try its hardest to strip you of all your agency? Why is it that so many people struggle to even find a place to be? A place to call their own? It’s cruel. I can only hope this archaic order is on its way out. I was hoping the realities of climate change, or police brutality, or perhaps even COVID-19 would pave the way for the people’s revolution, but I now feel it may be something more innocuous, more unexpected. Something that the bigwigs won’t see coming, as the people themselves won’t see it coming. Even so, everybody knows that it’s on its way. The ultimate fight between the oppressors and the oppressed, and the one brawl that may reveal the future of western society. Democracy is indeed dead. We’ll see how quickly the next system comes into place, and exactly whose side that system will be on. And as for the universal base income, I find myself rooting more and more for it, but I also know that it may be provided to us as a band-aid, built to keep the people’s revolution at bay. But as long as there are billionaires, there’s no way that the revolution won’t be coming. Exponential growth cannot occur unless it’s built on the backs of millions, billions. This current system is just not economically viable, which is ironic considering that ‘economic strength’ is usually the reason capitalists vouch for capitalism. I believe capitalists are just people who haven’t shirked their ‘American Dream’ yet, who basically still believe in Santa Claus. I’m not even sure what to call myself. A social capitalist? I believe people should feel compelled to build their businesses and to innovate their industries, but I don’t believe in penalising those who have ‘valueless skills’. I also refuse to believe there is such a thing as a ‘valueless skill’. Perhaps being able to write stream of consciousness entries is a valueless skill. That may be the only thing.

The Importance of “Connection” on the Twin Flame Journey

Let me start by clarifying “connection.”  As humans, we are quick to assume that connection between people is required to happen in some physical format.  A phone call, a text, a face-to-face meeting, a touch.  But the twin flame journey opens us up to experience what connection means on a broader level, on a more spiritual, internal, heart-centered level.  

It’s not that twin flames are special or unique, we’re all capable of connecting on a heart-centered level.  It’s simply a place where we feel our truth and our bonds from within rather than demanding proof of it externally.  In other words, unconditional love.  Some of have experienced this in one way or another with a family member, a child, a best friend, an animal.  But, many more of us are still bound to love with limitations, love that is conditional and requires proof and validation and rules.  I was the epitome of this prior to meeting my twin flame.

To truly unconditionally love another person means this love is without judgment, requirements or need of having that love returned.  This type of love is more rare.  Most people get so caught up in their own desires and conditions and triggers that they’re unable to see outside of them and love with an open heart, to love others with God/source type of love that does not demand or cling to material reciprocation.  Most people will hold back their love, their trust, their true feelings when they feel another person has done something they don’t like or that hurts them, and often they will blame others for causing them pain whether it was intentional or not.

The difference with twin flames is that this journey of heart-centered connection is a HUGE part of our existence.  Our soul path was built around it, and we have no choice but to experience it with someone who challenges us on this connection.  We will run ourselves in circles until we finally learn how to accept it and allow it to transform us.

So what does it mean to connect with your twin flame on this heart-centered level?  This unconditional love? 

I’m currently in the middle of the longest separation I’ve had with my twin flame so far.  It happened after he declared feelings for me, but I wasn’t ready to act on them and neither was he.  We were both in a frozen place, unsure of each other, unsure how to match our physical actions to the feelings that kept us coming back to each other over and over.

Then, he disappeared.  He had done this before, and while I was surprised it happened again after the pain we went through previously, he had at least finally opened up about his real feelings, and the last words he said to me were that he’d be back, even if the timeline was far longer than the one he had expressed.  

I’ve spent a lot of time in his absence focused on what he was and wasn’t doing in the physical world.  I went back and forth on the matter, doubting the connection one moment, finding new enlightenment in the next.  Signs were everywhere around me, repeating numbers, his name, my spirit animal following me around, songs that felt like he was communicating with me.  For months these things kept growing and growing in intensity.  

And then, I was guided to a new revelation:  He HAD been communicating with me the entire time.  He wasn’t physically communicating with me, but his higher self had been trying to reconnect with me, to get me to let him in and trust him once again.

I had a history with his higher self.  My twin flame and I had a previous separation that lasted a little less than 2 months.  It was during that time when I learned how to connect with what I consider to be his higher self.  It’s an energy that interacts with me and triggers my memories and feelings of him.  I would physically feel his presence around me, inside of me, on my skin, I would hear him speak to me, feel him “light up” a specific area in my heart, it was both exciting and strange and it kept me in this place where I felt constantly connected to him.  Even though I wasn’t sure if he’d ever return in the flesh, it was like he never left my side energetically.  

Then, after a couple of months, he contacted me physically again stating things to me that I’d talked about with his higher self during that separation and allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way I hadn’t experienced with him for months.  

It gave me confidence that I’d been experiencing something very, very real.  But, I still didn’t fully trust it or him.  And it took this longer current separation for me to dig far deeper and release so much that had been blocking me from trusting what I was feeling inside.

Not only wasn’t I trusting my own feelings, I had also unintentionally disconnected from his higher self.  It happened right around the time he last came back to me in person.  It’s not that I wasn’t feeling anything, it’s that I wasn’t listening to it the same way, I was pushing aside anything that seemed like it was him because it was too difficult to process that kind of hope.

We get told not to trust spiritual connections, that we’re making it up, that “real” love proves itself to you with action and that’s all that matters in this world, the action someone else is willing to take physically to show us how they feel.  We get told that if someone disappears from our lives, it means they don’t care about us and we, in turn, shouldn’t care about them, and if we do then we don’t love ourselves.  We build wall after wall after wall to protect ourselves from “fake” love and fantasy, until all we really do is isolate ourselves from openly connecting with anyone.

I realize now that I got scared during our reconnection, as I didn’t trust him to return, and I was afraid of giving too much of myself to that connection anymore.  I was too focused on what he was doing in the physical world to feel comfortable again with him in the spiritual world.

But, no matter what I tried to suppress or ignore, the external signs were relentless.  It’s frustrating when you don’t understand how to interpret the signs, I struggled with that for a while.  I now realize, however, that it wasn’t me not understanding how to interpret the signs, it was me not TRUSTING the connection or understanding my truth, and that was blinding me so I wasn’t able to see what was right in front of me the whole time. It took some serious intervention including all the regular signs I’d been seeing for months combined with an energy healer friend telling me I wasn’t speaking my truth, a dream about my twin and I getting married (something that I’d never experienced before), and hearing a song while working that was the same one played to me the first time I fully connected with his higher self.  I was so busy looking for him to physically return, I wasn’t even considering that his higher self wanted to reconnect.

Once I accepted this truth, that his higher self was with me, wanted to be with me, wanted me to trust him and let him back into my life, it was like fireworks went off inside of me.  I was feeling him constantly once again, my heart filled with love and healing energy, everything felt possible once again.  I was also opening up to new insight and wisdom within and a stronger sense of self-confidence.  It was completely transformative to allow his energy back into my heart, to accept his higher self as my partner in a way that’s just as important in my life as a physical partner would be and to believe in this connection fully.  

The twin flame journey is truly one of faith.  Not a faith that can be told to you from web sites and gurus and religious leaders, as everyone’s path is different, but one that you experience and learn from as you go.  And just like any path walked in faith, when you finally see your own light and accept that this path is your authentic truth, nothing else can sway you, you find inner peace in a way that nothing else compares to.  

I accept that my twin flame is my soul partner for life.  The connection I have with his higher self is healing, uplifting, steady, supportive and fills my heart with love on a daily basis.  It’s a connection that doesn’t require his physical presence.  I know we both have a lot to learn from being apart physically. I can’t even begin to say how much I’ve grown during these short few months apart, and even in our times apart prior to that.  It is, however, a path that will bring us back together physically when we’re both ready to be present in our truth.  I know this is true, but I don’t require proof of it to love him, and I don’t require him in my life physically to be happy.  For me to wait for HIM to express his truth before I live inside of mine is to continue my journey in pain and confusion and frustration.  That doesn’t benefit me, and it is not something I want to do anymore.

Only with you I feel complete - Roman Reigns x Reader

Summary: Roman and you had been a couple for quite some time when you start arguing once again since he feared that your best friend, a trainer at the WWE performance center, might win you over. You have enough of his accusations, your relationship shattering into thousands of pieces after a huge fight. But much to your displeasure Roman had been right after all, when you suddenly find yourself in a toxic affair with your best friend. When things turn terrible for you, it is Roman, that’s there to pick you up again. 

Note: That’s probably one of the first stories I had ever written and I’m certainly not too proud of it. It’s definitely not my best, I know that, but I didn’t want to delete it after all, so I decided to post it nevertheless, hoping that it’s not too bad in the end. ^.^

Warnings: angst, hurt, comfort, fluff, smut but nothing too explicit

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Tag List: @queenofthearchitect @trixdeee @calwitch @alexisbagans143 @the-queens-reign @mermaid-at-heart @taryn-dibiase @kingslayers-reign @scuzmunkie @vebner37 @nikora3010 @aria725 @ashhdaniellee95 @roman-hetfield @lustyromantic @i-dont-care-i-ship-it-69 @easyobsession @calicina @neganlangdon @laochbaineann

You didn’t even want to think back, didn’t want to relive the last couple of months. It all started with a dumb fight you and Roman had one day after you returned home, having wrestled four days in a row. You had your fair share of arguments, primarily because both of you were rather emotional and impulsive, where one word tended to lead to another until you were arguing like there was no tomorrow. Usually you kind of could turn around before everything would crush and burn but on that special day several months ago, this just wasn’t an option.

You had worked for an indy wrestling promotion before, gaining quite some reputation there. When your best friend, that was a trainer at the WWE performance center, told you that WWE would give new talent a chance to prove what they were capable of, it didn’t take you long to take that chance and try your very best. You didn’t have to wait until the officials at WWE offered you a contract, that you just couldn’t decline. Your best friend took you under his wing once you arrived at the performance center, training with you day in and day out so you could make your debut as fast as possible. You basically had a dream career at WWE, not having to stick around NXT for too long until you got called up to the main roster, basically stunning everyone due to the rapid career you had during the short time you had been signed to WWE. Not only did your best friend prepare you for the ring, but he also introduced you to the wrestlers, that would train there on a regular basis.

It didn’t take long until you made your first friends, getting along with almost everybody, at least with those people you cared for. And it didn’t take long either until Roman and you realized, that there was more between the both of you than just pure friendship. You were hesitant at first as it was simply too terrible if you had to work with an ex boyfriend when things didn’t work out, having to spend so much time due to your schedules together. But somehow he convinced you that it was worth trying and you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed his presence, that you actually wanted to make it last. But there nevertheless was the problem with the both of you being rather impulsive, your emotions having the worst of you on a regular basis and even the tiniest things could result in fits of jealousy on both sides.

You loved him, you really did, but it wasn’t always easy to handle his jealousy, especially since you were too hot headed to just leave it be and would rather argue with him, driving him mad on a constant basis. Although Roman knew that Steve, your best friend, was one of the trainers and that you knew him for a much longer time than you knew Roman, and although he considered Steve one of his best friends as well, he nevertheless couldn’t wrap his head around the fact, that the both of you were so close. This tiny little voice in the back of his head always reminded him, that there was the danger of you and Steve becoming more, of things between you and your best friend getting steamy. And he was not tired of letting you know about that fear again and again, especially when you had trained with Steve for too long and Roman’s jealousy was getting in the way, causing you to argue for another time, leaving you annoyed as fuck because you had no idea how you should convince your boyfriend that he was the only one for you. That one day, where you returned home after having been on the road for four days, basically brought your relationship to an end.

Once you and Roman were entering the house, Roman exclaimed: "Home sweet home", before dropping his suitcases and theatrically pretending to kiss the floor. You couldn't help but laugh out loud at how much of an idiot your boyfriend was before you said: "I'm not quite sure whether I should be amused, impressed or scared by the child in you." Roman got up again, pulled you in his arms and answered. "You should probably just love it.“

"Oh don't worry I do" , you smiled before pressing a soft kiss on his lips with him responding to it. As you broke apart, he mumbled: „I love it whenever we return home, having some time for ourselves. And more than that I love you.“ He tucked one strain behind your ear, holding you close, smiling down at you as you locked eyes with his. „I love you too“, you whispered. Both of you agreed to spend a beautiful day and evening at home by ordering some delicious food from one of the best delivery services Tampa had to offer. You had a beautiful dinner before you both snuggled up in front of the TV in order to watch some cheesy movie, where you actually didn't really have today attention but just let the television program wash over you while you were occupied with one another more than the TV.

Suddenly your cellphone began ringing and you excused yourself before answering the call and leaving the living room while doing so to avoid Roman getting interrupted. A good 10 minutes later you returned, sat down next to him and said: „Honey, I think our relaxed evening has to wait until tomorrow. That was Steve. He wanted to know whether I could head over to him since he kind of needs someone to talk to, as he had just learned that his girlfriend had been cheating on him. He sounded really down and I just can’t ignore it. If you want to, you could just join me, tagging along. I guess it would help him to talk to you as well.“ Roman didn't seem to be too happy about that call or that offer. Sure, he was his friend too, but since you were with him and Roman thought he had seen Steve flirting with you one day or the other, he couldn't say, that he was too much of a fan of Steve anymore. And he made that clear by asking: "Do you really have to go? I mean you're not the only friend he has. There's actually a bunch around and he could call anyone. I'm not quite sure whether it has to be you." You tried to stay calm. It was obvious, that he was kind of jealous and he didn't want your evening to end like that, so you actually didn't mean to upset him. Therefore you just said: "Ro, Steve is the same for me like Kate is for you. He's my best friend and just as you would rush to Kate's side when she asked you to do it, so I will rush to his side when he needs someone around. Because that's what best friends do.“

"You can't compare the two of them." ,Roman frowned. "Why not?" ,you asked seriously confused. "You simply can't. They're way too different to be compared.", he answered. "I have no idea what you mean. I'm not comparing their personalities, I'm simply stating that what Kate is for you, Steve is for me.", you stated. "Besides the fact, that my best friend wouldn't hit on me, trying to get me into bed, wanting to fuck me." ,Roman exclaimed before he could stop himself. You crooked an eyebrow, asking: "What exactly was that?“

"Oh come on Y/N, I see how he looks at you. And I'm pretty sure, that he had tried something in the past when you were training with him or something like that. God knows whether there indeed has never been something between the two of you, but even if there was, that's your past. But I'm certainly not keen on watching how a guy, that fucks every girl in his reach - and we both know, that he has screwed more talent than we can count -, is hitting on my girlfriend. And it doesn't matter whether this guy is one of my friends as well or not. You know how he is, just sleeping around like he wants to, getting everyone he desires, just to drop them afterwards. I’m pretty sure that this whole „My girlfriend cheated on me“ is just an act. First, he had never mentioned her before and second I’m pretty sure even if she existed it wouldn’t concern him much, as this would give more freedom for himself“ ,Roman stated, although more as a matter of fact than in rage. You couldn't believe your ears. It was pretty obvious that he was jealous but that definitely didn't give him the right to basically accuse you, that there was a chance that you would be sleeping with Steve respectively him seducing you.  

"Just like you yourself, you mean?" ,you hissed at him with Roman shaking his head in frustration. "Are we at that again now? I have already told you that this is my past, that I can't change but that I myself have changed since I've met you. And I can't show you that more than by putting you on a pedestal, making it all just about you, pushing back my own desires. I mean we haven't even slept with each other until now...", he exclaimed his voice increasing with every word but before he could have ended his sentence, you already screamed at him: "Yes we are at that again if you start like that. And thank you for basically telling me right now how much of a burden it is for you to not have sex. Tell me, are you only together with me because you intent to fuck me someday and it's goodbye afterwards?“ 

He was right, you hadn’t slept with each other until now. Not because you wouldn’t have wanted it or wouldn’t have been attracted to him, but Roman was known for not saying „no“ while he was single and it was no big secret, that he would end up with a different girl in basically each different city they were touring in. Steve even warned you, that you should be careful, but you couldn’t help but be head over heels for Roman. The only thing you didn’t want to was ending up in bed with him right away, as this would have given you the impression of making it way too easy for him. You wanted to see for yourself that he wanted to be with you because he loved you and not because it would guarantee him fast and easy sex. And obviously he had more problems with that than you wanted to believe, otherwise he wouldn’t feel the need to point that out while arguing.  

Roman groaned out and shot right back at you: "I've never said that..." He couldn't believe how you just twisted his words just because you were too stubborn to let him finish his sentence. But you already talked yourself in rage and shouted back at him: "That's exactly what you fucking said. No one asked you to put me on a damn pedestal or have you ever heard me say something like that? But you know what? If that's what it's all about for you, just head back to your former sluts and find a bitch there to fuck.“ Roman was shocked to hear your words but he wasn't willing to break down in front of you that easily. He used his whole professional attitude he had to display whenever he had to cut a promo to put on an emotionless face, shooting you a deathly glare and shouted back at you just as loud as you were shouting at him: "You wouldn't care who I would be with and who I would fuck?" You snapped at him, your emotions having the worst of you: "Not in the slightest, as long as it's not me. Have fun, oh and use protection, I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't favor you spreading some diseases.“

With that you headed into the hall, grabbing your jacket and your suitcase, that you hadn't unpacked yet. You actually were pretty glad about that. Although you spent most of your time at Roman’s home when you had a few days off, you nevertheless still had your own apartment, that you couldn’t wait to head to. Roman came rushing after you, shouting: "Don't you dare leaving like that right now or I swear to god, if you step out of that house now, you don't have to return since it's over for good then." You shot him a nasty look before you wanted to know: "Is that a fucking threat or a fucking promise? Don't worry, you won't see me again.“ With that you just smashed his house keys, that he had given you, in front of his feet and headed for the front door. Before you were leaving the house, you turned round and said with an icy voice: „Don’t be too afraid, that you have to see me again, Reigns. Fortunately, there are two rosters and I’m pretty sure, that it won’t be too much of a problem to move to Smackdown, so I don’t have to see your sorry butt again.“ With that you just left the house and smashed the door behind you. "God fucking dammit" ,Roman screamed out in frustration, smashing his fist against the next best wall, ignoring the pain in his hand, before rushing for the door to clear things up with you. When he was calling your name, you were already getting into your car. The last thing he saw, was you flipping him the bird before you sped off.

You spent the next three hours with Steve, not mentioning what just had happened, but listening to him and how down he was with regard to his relationship failing. Although you found yourself in the same position, it really helped you to wrap your head around another relationship than your own. But when you left three hours later and headed home to your own apartment, your walls just came down. You threw your suitcase in the corner and threw yourself on your bed, not even caring to change clothes, while crying your eyes out over everything, that had happened before. A short glance at your cellphone told you, that Roman had tried to reach you through calls and messages but you deleted all of them without even wanting to know what he had to say. You were blocking his number before you threw your cellphone in the next best corner. Roman, however, still felt as if a ten ton truck had hit him. He could not understand how things had gotten so much out of control. He did love you and yes he was jealous of Steve but he knew him better than anyone else, he even dared to say that he knew him better than you did. Deep inside Steve was a good guy but he was also fucked up in many ways, ways you didn’t even know about. He surely would not hurt a woman on purpose but his fucked up ways had broken many hearts already. Roman knew he hadn't been a good example either with his sidekicks all over the country but Steve was a whole other level.

After a sleepless night Roman managed to find you. It wasn't hard given the fact you probably would be with the Steve. If Steve was surprised to see the Samoan standing in front of his door, he didn’t show it but rather asked him to come in. You hadn’t told your best friend what had happened but he obviously sensed, that something wasn’t right between you and Roman, hence why he even offered him to help out. You on the other hand were not willing to talk to Roman after what had happened the night before with regard to what he accused you of. You actually chose to speak through your best friend by letting him do the talking.

It hurt and upset Roman because Steve after all was the main reason for your fight more or less. "Five minutes baby, five minutes is all I want to speak to you in private. " Roman said, refusing to fill Steve in on any details. "No. Whatever you need to say you can say it in front of my best friend“, you said, crossing your arms in front of your chest. You knew exactly what you were doing to him and it was making things kind of worse. Roman took a deep breath, using all the self control he had, so he wouldn’t freak out again. He wanted to talk to you in private, he really did, but all in all he could not care less if Steve heard it too if that meant, that you would return to him.

„Ok fine. If you want the world to listen, then so be it. I love you baby girl, I really do. And I don't care if I have to wait for you forever….no, not just to have sex with you but in general. I know you don’t believe me, especially when taking my past into consideration, but I don’t belong to those guys, that strictly think with their dick, like other people around. And yes, I know that I had been dating a lot and that I had countless one night stands while I was single, yes I am guilty of that… BUT I never had 2 or 3 women at the same time, cheating on them just for the fun of it….and even if you don’t want to believe me now, I always clearly had my relationships in order contrary to other guys.“ He was shooting a meaningful look at Steve before he added: „And yes, I know that I can be a pretty jealous bastard and that I’m not making it easy for you most of the time - but who wouldn’t be? I love you Y/N and I can’t help it being absolutely jealous whenever I think about other guys hitting on you.“ Roman could see that Steve had jumped a bit when he mentioned multiple women at the same time as you obviously knew nothing about that.

"Are you done? I am getting hungry and tired of your bullshit" you groaned as you were not willing to forgive him. You had been at that stage way too often before and it simply was exhausting. Roman just shook his head as he painfully realized, that there was no use in talking to you. Obviously you wanted to be blind to the obvious. "I am out of here. Maybe, just maybe you will realize that I have been nothing but honest to you. Just be careful who you are willing to be together with and who you are giving your heart to.“ he said, indicating that you would fall for Steve eventually, before he left. He wouldn't break down in front of you, he would not give you that much pleasure. Steve turned to you, sighing: „Oh Y/N….are you sure that’s the right way? He was so open and honest" You groaned out loud. "The fuck he was. He was jealous of you, that’s all he was…. And he sure as hell won’t tell me not to meet my best friend again" ,you said, tears starting to form in your eyes. "Shhhhh its all good.“, Steve said, pulling you into a hug before he added: „How about we grab some comfort food and try to forget what had happened? You are with me for the day, I won’t leave you alone.“

You felt a bit better knowing that you could count on Steve. No matter how much it did hurt you, but Roman could gladly go fuck himself. During the whole time Steve showered you with attention and lots and lots of affection, making sure that you felt a bit better, not having to think about the Samoan and your broken relationship the whole time.  You had settled on the sofa with Steve in the comfort of his home. Your best friend was holding your hand and tried to cheer you up by telling you funny stories from what had happened during his training days at the WWE performance center, telling you stories about people, that you actually knew, but no matter how hard you tried, it was hard for you to focus.  "Hey sweetheart...no more tears“, Steve smiled at you, cupping your face. 

Damn, Reigns was right with one thing. Steve did have a crush on you but he had hidden it well over the years.  You looked at your best friend with big, teary eyes. "I cant help it" , you sighed, a huge sadness clouding your mind. A moment later, Steve had pressed his lips against yours and much to your own surprise, you didn't stop him. Steve gently stopped. „Sorry about that.“ ,he whispered but he wasn't sorry at all. "N-No....its all good.“ ,you mumbled as Steve grinned at you. „Good, cause I just wanted to make you feel good....you are so beautiful Y/N…I hope you know that" ,he mumbled and attacked your lips with his again. In the back of your head you knew that this wasn’t right, that you should stop him. But you were way too confused after all that had happened, after your relationship ending the day before. Of course, you loved Roman but you just couldn’t deal with his jealousy any longer, so breaking things up with him, seemed to be the only option you had, as you were not willing to give up your best friend. And now that you were single, you basically could do whatever the hell you wanted to do. As you focused on Steve, you had to admit that he was a great kisser and you could feel how instantly aroused you were although you shouldn’t have been.

Steve gently kissed your neck and grabbed your breasts through your shirt. You groaned at the sudden sensation, you didn't care that this was your best friend instead of the man, that still had your heart and you didn't care either that Roman  - in the end - had been right. Steve helped you out of your shirt and ripped your bra open. Hungrily he took your breast in his mouth, sucking hard on your nipples, squeezing them rather roughly while grinding his groin against you. You were gasping out loud, reaching for his jeans, opening them hastily, not caring that you basically skipped on all of the foreplay. Steve opened yours too and pulled them down. He fished a condom out of his pants, hurriedly put it on and within moments he was fucking you on the goddamn sofa without a lot of tenderness. "Fuck me!" , you gritted through your teeth and Steve did as you told him. „I’m going to fuck you like you had never been fucked before" ,he groaned and hungrily pressed his lips against yours while he fucked you harder than before. Out of the blue you suddenly saw Roman’s face in front of your eyes and you immediately felt even more guilty, but you tried to get rid off any thoughts about him, locking them up in the back of your mind and focusing on the here and now. That day was only the the beginning of a very heated affair, that you were sliding into. You were confused in some ways as Steve was your best friend but he never forced a label on it, as he just said: "I am here for you Y/N.“  That was something you could get used to at the moment as you didn’t want to be anything right now. You didn't want to think of Roman or anything else. And Steve was a wonderful friend, who listened to you if you needed it and fucked you if you wanted him to. Did it feel right? Of course not. Were you trapped in that vicious circle, spiraling down further? Absolutely. 

You spent many nights and days in bed just screwing each other and  although you would have never expected it, you felt that this was doing you good - that it was what you needed right now, no commitments, no feelings. It helped you to push your failed relationship to the back of your mind, made you kind of numb during the time Steve was fucking you that your heart was actually aching for Roman, even after all the jealousy fits he had. It just helped you to somehow forget even if it was on a pure physical basis, but you gladly accepted, that Steve’s entire attention was on you. It just felt so damn good. 

Just like you had told Roman when you left, you had spoken to officials pretty soon, that advised creative that they should write a storyline that would make it possible for you to tour with the Smackdown roster instead of the RAW roster, and you felt how relieving it was not seeing Roman on tour. Of course, there were the dual brand PPVs, that you couldn’t skip and that you potentially had the risk of running into your ex-boyfriend but you didn’t want to think of those as long as the time for them hadn’t come.

Nevertheless, it was one of those days where both of the brands had to wrestle in the same city at the same location. You were lucky enough, that you were able to avoid Roman, you actually didn’t even see him although you knew that he was there. But as you were done rather early and his match was set for the main event, you headed to the hotel room, that you shared with Steve, who had tagged along. He convinced you to go to a party, that was supposed to happen in one of the city’s most famous clubs and although you didn’t want to go, you eventually agreed to do so since you were kind of attached at the hip. In addition to that, you knew that you might end up leaving early anyways.

You decided to wear a tight black dress fitting high heels and yes, you were aware that you were looking absolutely stunning. Steve decided to wear all black as well, including a leather jacket. You couldn’t help but notice that the jacket would have looked so much better on Roman, but you instantly banned that thought to the back of your head. As soon as you arrived at the club, you saw that the press was there as well. You being one of the most famous and beloved WWE superstars they of course were curious about you and Steve as they knew, that you had been with Roman before. Your break up has made it to the tabloids of course. They kept asking you whom you were here with but neither you nor Steve were willing to answer their questions. 

Once you were in the club, Steve got you a drink, searching for a rather secluded area, where he sat down, pulling you on his lap and hungrily kissing you. "Stop working on my dress, we only just got here" you whispered, pinching his side as Steve grinned, winking at you and saying "OK.....but later I can’t wait to get you out of it.“ With that he kissed you again.

In that moment Roman passed your table, nearly dropping his drink. He should have known, should have been aware that he, Dean and Seth wouldn’t be the only WWE superstars hitting the clubs after the PPV. But out of all people he actually thought least that he would see you around. Contrary to you, Roman had been avoiding the presence of the other gender ever since you broke up with him. He still loved you and although there once was a time where he got a high out of fucking around, he knew that it wouldn’t help to numb his feelings by sleeping with multiple women. And he sure as hell was not ready to head into a new relationship as long as he still had the hope, that you and him would find your way back together. But right now he painfully realized, that you obviously had no problems forgetting about him and moving on. It was like a slap in his face to see you on Steve’s lap while you were French kissing him… Roman hated to have the proof that he had been right after all! As you broke the kiss, you happened to turn around, looking into the crowd as you felt as if someone was staring at you. You stopped in your tracks  when you saw Roman, who just shook his head, his face a mask of anger and hurt, before he headed over to Dean and Seth. You couldn’t help but feel guilty right away.

"What the fuck is she doing? Has she become Steve’s slut now?" ,Roman spat out as soon as he was with Seth and Dean. He was fuming as he was talking to his friends in a private room. "Calm down" , Seth said softly, trying to ease the situation. „It’s not worth it. She clearly doesn't want a relationship“, he said as Roman answered: “ At least not with me as it seems. She seems to have no problem being with that wanker. I know that it’s not worth raging, but it fucking hurts. That woman has my heart, I want to have her by my side and knowing that she obviously fell for that bastard, that he’s fucking the woman I love, fucking hurts. I would love to rip him to pieces.“ It was obvious, that Roman had a hard time controlling himself and his Shield brothers knew, that they had to get him out of here before he would do something, that he would regret in the end. They talked to him, tried to calm him down and at some point they were successful enough to convince him, that he should leave with them, avoiding to pass you again while doing so.

As shaken as you were from seeing Roman, you nevertheless followed Steve to your hotel room. Although him fucking you usually worked wonders to numb you, tonight no sex in the world could get Roman's hurt look out of your mind. "Sweetheart.....are you okay?" ,Steve wanted to know as he rolled off of you. "I am sorry… I’m just confused I guess“, you sighed as you didn’t want to fill him in on your thoughts. Obviously he hadn’t seen Roman, didn’t know that he was there. But seeing the man you still loved, seeing on his face how much your actions hurt him, made you realize how much you missed him, what you actually had given up since you were too stubborn to hear him out, were not willing enough to accept his jealousy and made the best out of it. Of course, screwing your best friend helped you to forget about Roman temporarily, but the more time passed, you had to admit that it became harder and harder to numb yourself that way. Steve kissed you and got up, leaving you alone in his bed.  "Its okay. I have a surprise for you" he smiled and handed you a glass of champagne. „Here, have a sip beautiful" ,he smiled and you did what he had told you.

Naked as Steve was, he stood in front of you, smiling brightly at you as he said: "Now here comes the surprise" He went to open the door as there had been a slight knocking at the hotel room.  Two women your age came in, both dressed in short little dresses. Steve kissed both of them and guided them inside. „Y/N, that's Amber and Holly. " he said as you just stared at the three of them. You could’t believe your eyes, couldn’t make any sense of it. "What are they doing here?" ,you wanted to know, pulling the blanket over you, covering your naked body in front of the visitors, that you had never seen before. Steve smiled brightly at you as he told you:  "They are your surprise, sweetheart. They are going to join us"  You crooked an eyebrow, wanting to know: "Join us in what?“ You were way too shocked to make any sense of what he was saying. "In bed Y/N…what else?“, Steve answered amused, before he added: "Have you ever had sex with a woman? They can eat you out, while I take you from behind.“ He was obviously absolutely hyped for this idea and he obviously expected you to feel the same. "I am sure that will take your mind off things, will help you to forget about Roman. I’m not dumb Y/N, I know that he’s still occupying your mind.“ he stated and as if he wanted to demonstrate his plan to you, he started making out with Amber.

You felt absolutely shocked. Steve wanted a foursome with you to keep your mind off things? Sex was ok but definitely not with two other people, you didn’t swing that way, and even if you did, you would have never been content with someone presenting you with a bunch of random people, that should join you for fast sex. If that was something you would be fine with, you at least would have wanted to have a say in that matter. You shook your head as you got out of the bed, grabbing your stuff. „Steve I am out...this is not something I want“, you stated and for a moment you again had to think of Roman. He would have never done something like that to you. You finally understood what he meant with his cryptic reply, that he at least never had two or three at the same time. At first you just thought it would have been a scenario of having two sidechicks while being in a relationship but now you realized that one of Steve’s kinks obviously was having sex with several people at the same time, that Roman tried to warn you about. Steve didn’t seem to understand the fuss, but he at least didn’t try to hold you back.

As you left the hotel room, after having grabbed your suitcase after getting dressed, you had no idea where you should head to. After all you had shared your room with Steve but going back again, was certainly no option. Not now, that he was wrapped up in his threesome. You felt terrible, couldn’t help that your thoughts travelled back to Roman and how he would have never seen you as meat, he could share with other people. To say, that you were disappointed in your best friend was an understatement and to say that you missed the man you loved didn’t even nearly express how you felt. You couldn’t even stop your tears from falling down. You never would have expected it to hurt so bad and with all that time, that had passed, you knew that breaking up with Roman just because he was beyond jealous was stupid, as he had his reasons, that you only now realized. But back than his jealousy was simply toxic.

You could barely see where you were heading to since your tears clouded your vision. As you crashed into someone, you heard a familiar deep voice ask: „I’m sorry. Are you…?“ Roman stopped mid- sentence as he realized who he had run into. And he could clearly see, that you wanted to be anywhere else but here either, judging from your body language. He automatically thought back to the incident in the club before and anger started boiling inside of him again. Before he could stop himself, he barked: „Shouldn’t you be with Steve right now? You indeed seemed to be very heated, almost not being able to keep your hands from each other. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he fucked you right there in the middle of the club.“ You knew, that it was hurt speaking from him and you knew, that he was right, but you were in a state of mind, where you didn’t want to think about it rationally, didn’t want to accept, that he had the right to be hurt. You felt terrible, felt guilty and most of all you felt used, although you knew that the thing between you and Steve only could be described as friends with benefits. But him expecting you, that you would agree to a foursome, that you would let some random woman lick you while he found pleasure in fucking you, gave you the bitter feeling of being nothing else but an object. And you hated yourself, that you had taken that path, that you had turned your back on the man, that always treated you with respect and love, the man, that was standing in front of you now, reminding you of all the mistakes you made. 

Before you could stop yourself, you slapped him right across his face, hissing: „I don’t need you to make me aware of my mistakes. I’m pretty good at figuring them out myself. So how about you just shut it with regard to things you have no idea about.“ He wanted to snap back, wanted to pay you back for what you had done to him, but he realized in what state of mind you were and what you had just said. And he didn’t really need to count two and two together to know that things didn’t go to plan. He saw the tears streaming down your face, saw the suitcase you were pulling after you and suddenly his anger vanished, compassion taking over. „You have finally seen for yourself what kind of guy he is, haven’t you? I tried to warn you, I really did. But you didn’t want to listen.“, he said, his voice calm and soothing as he looked down at you, his dark brown eyes full of compassion. You had no idea whether it were his words that couldn’t be truer, whether it was the compassion he was staring at you with or whether it was the fact, that your heart was heavier than ever before while facing him. It hit you what you had lost, hit you how much you loved the man in front of you, hit you how you had betrayed him although you didn’t cheat on him since your affair with Steve only started after you had broken up with Roman. It hit you, that you were in a relationship with a man, that loved you to the moon and back, that would have done anything for you, that treated you with respect and that you had thrown away all of this because of a stupid argument, that even wasn’t worth fighting over if you looked back at it now.

Roman didn’t know why he was doing what he was about to do, but no matter how hurt he was, no matter how he had tried to forget you, his heart belonged to you. And he simply couldn’t see you as desperate as you were in that moment. He pushed everything else in his mind aside, and pulled you closer, hugging you tightly to his body until your face was buried in his chest. He expected you to push him away, to tell him that he should fuck off, but none of that happened. Instead you were crossing your arms behind his back, clinging onto him like he was a safe haven, like he was the only person that could make it alright, and if you were honest, he was. You didn’t want to let go of him, crying against his chest while he held you close, gently stroking over your hair like he had done so often before… It made you feel safe. You knew, that it was egoistical, letting him calm you although it should have been the other way round but you were too weak right now to tell him that you were sorry for everything that had happened, that you would turn back time and talk things over with him if you could. You wanted to let him know that Steve fucking you meant nothing but the sheer physical act of it and that it was him your heart was aching for, him you wanted to have by your side, but you couldn’t say any of those things. Your sobbing prevented you from doing so as you felt his strong arms shelter you from your surroundings.

You didn’t even know how long you stood there like this but as soon as you had calmed down enough so you were able to get out whole sentences, Roman wanted to know what had happened. You felt guilty of filling him in, but he deserved an answer. You told him about anything, told him about your affair, told him how much you regretted it and how much you missed him, told him how much you loved him and told him what had happened just a couple of minutes ago. You could see that Roman was torn; he felt hurt as he finally knew the truth about you and Steve, he felt relief as soon as he heard that you still loved him and that you missed him, he felt compassion as he never wanted to see you like that and he felt pure anger as to what Steve had expected from you. He couldn’t leave you alone, couldn’t send you away after your breakdown so he offered that you could stay the night in his hotel room. You didn’t want to, didn’t want to take his generosity for granted, didn’t want him to take you in after all the hurt you had caused to him, but eventually he convinced you, that it would be alright, that he wouldn’t offer it if he didn’t mean it. Eventually, you accepted his offer and although it was strange at first, you pretty fast adjusted to his presence again.

As the following weeks passed Roman and you were talking things over, talking about anything, that had happened. And both of you eventually agreed that you wanted to try it again. There was no doubt, that he loved you just as much as you loved him and no matter how much it pained him to know that you had been with Steve, he always reminded himself, that you were enjoying your single life, that you were not cheating on him but took advantage of your status, something he could have done as well but didn’t feel like doing. Having you back by his side was anything he ever asked for and although it had been rather tricky at first since you were touring with the Smackdown roster while he was still with the RAW one, officials agreed to transfer you back after you had talked to them, explaining anything to them although you felt terrible why doing so.

It was two months later when your schedule sent you to Tokyo to wrestle a show there. Roman and you had found back to your old selfs, although you were sure, that he could never completely forget about the time you shared with Steve although you wanted nothing more but to erase it from your memory. It felt good being together with him again, starting your relationship anew and you were quite determined to make it last this time. It was after the event when you, Roman,  Seth, Dean, Sasha, Natalya, Nia and a couple of other wrestlers decided to head to a restaurant and basically have a rather quiet end to an eventful evening. You didn’t know how much time you had spent there, but somehow around midnight you decided to call it a day and while everyone was already heading back to the hotel, you and Roman decided to go on a little walk through the city, letting the Japanese culture surround and captivate you. Hand in hand you were walking around way past midnight when you finally decided, that it would be time for you to head back to the hotel as well.

Once you reached your hotel room you wrapped your hands around Roman's neck and mumbled: "Thank you so much for that beautiful evening and for keeping me company while we were meeting up with our friends. I really appreciate that and I can't thank you enough for that." With that you tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his lips while Roman was pulling you tighter towards his body. He smiled down at you and said: "You're very welcome and anytime. Especially now that you're going home with me and no one else.“

You couldn't help but instantly feel guilty again. You just felt the urge to reassure him once again, that your best friend meant nothing else to you than being that - your best friend, after all you had talked things over and returned to that status. You took a deep breath before saying: "Ro, I'm really sorry for everything that had happened that evening. Breaking up with you, running away, sleeping with Steve, the whole deal. If I could turn back time I would do so right away." Roman was holding you close to him, of course your words still hurt him somehow, but hearing how much you regretted your actions showed him, that he indeed meant a lot to you. Still there were some questions burning on his mind and he decided that he could ask them now as well as later. "Don't worry about that now, baby girl. It's okay. I just want to know a few things. Of course, you don’t have to answer but…" , Roman quietly said.

You gulped hard but after all that had happened and after giving you another chance although you had ripped his heart into pieces, that was the least you could do. You just nodded your head and answered: "Sure just ask right away." Roman arranged his thoughts as he had avoided talking with you about this whole topic in more detail in the past but he just needed to know it, hence why he asked: "How often have you been with him?" with you answering honestly: "Quite some time over the course of a couple of weeks." Roman already feared that but hearing it didn't make it any easier. He just wanted to get it over with by asking: "Have you found with him what you were looking for? Did you love him?" You shook your head before responding to his question: "No I did not love him. I mean I love him as my best friend but nothing else. I've never felt anything else for him. There's only one person I love and that person is you, Ro. And no, I have not found what I was looking for. Simply because everything I actually needed I had left behind the night when I left you. He just kept my mind off by fucking me. It was just the pure act, nothing else. What I am looking for is everything you are so generously offering to me and I can never undo what I have done. And I know damn well that I actually don't deserve your love at all.“

Before you could say another word Roman was capturing your lips in a soft kiss before mumbling: „You do deserve every piece of it. Thank you for being so honest." With that he captured your lips in a gentle kiss again, that grew more and more passionately as minutes passed by. He slowly opened the zipper of your dress, gently stroking his fingertips over your back, not even thinking about sleeping with you right now, but just to be as near to you as somehow possible. You let out a quiet moan before you helped him, throwing your dress on the floor and stepping out of it. He was pulling you closer to his body once again, kissing you with passion before gently sucking on your neck while you brought your hands on his waist, gently caressing the sensitive skin there before guiding your hands up his back, removing his shirt in one smooth move before kissing him again. 

He backed you up against the bed with you crawling on it once you had reached it, pulling Roman with you. When you were finally laying there, Roman slightly hovered over you, his tongue softly touching your lips, begging for entrance, that you happily granted and soon your tongues were intervened in a slow tango. You could feel, that he was pretty aroused and yet he didn't try to get you fully undressed or anything like that. Just like in the past he wouldn't force anything that you did not want. Your heart instantly skipped a beat, when you finally realized, that this was exactly what you needed and what made you feel complete. You needed his tenderness, his love and the respect he was treating you with and not the fast and rough fucking you had going on with Steve - although you had no doubts that Roman was capable of taking you as rough as you needed him to if you asked him accordingly.

Roman's hand gently caressed the skin of your hips and your waist, his hand slowly tracing up its way to your breasts until he finally cupped one of them and squeezed it gently, making you moan in pleasure. He slowly traced down little kisses your jawline, your neck as well as your breasts and his hot breath, that you felt through the fabric made you shiver in anticipation. You gently pulled his head back up, kissed him once again and whispered in his ear: "Sleep with me, Ro." He locked eyes with you, wanting to know: "Are you sure about that? We don’t have to." You smiled at his tenderness and mumbled: "Yes I am sure and I know that we don't have to but I want to be as close to you as I possibly can." Roman didn't need to hear that twice and within seconds, he fully undressed you with his own clothes following your pile on the floor just moments after. You could clearly see how turned on he was and although that little voice in your head was still debating whether this was a good idea it was silenced pretty effectively with Roman sucking on your breasts while his fingers gently caressed your warm, wet folds, rubbing circles over your clit before he gently inserted one of his long fingers into you, before adding a second one shortly after finding his own rhythm, making you moan out once again as they were moving in and out of you in just the perfect rhythm.

Before your orgasm could reach you, you grabbed his hand, removing it carefully, already missing the feeling of his fingers filling you, whispering quietly: "Don't get me wrong baby, I really enjoy the magic you are working with your fingers, but when I come, I want to have you buried deep inside of me." With that you kissed him again, gently stroking his length, drawing a deep groan from his lips. As soon as you broke apart, Roman mumbled: "Let me just grab a condom and I will gladly give you what you want." But you shook your head no, saying: „Don't even think about getting a damn rubber between us. I'm on birth control and I want to feel you, every little piece of you." When hearing that, he kissed you passionately, groaning: "You have no idea how hot that was." He sucked gently on your neck and you were sure, that there would be more that one hickey you would have to cover during your match the next day. His fingertips were trailing over your body, sending shivers down your spine as they left your own juices all over you before he playfully pinched one of your nipples. You threw your head back in pleasure, not even caring, that you were moaning out his name louder than you should have given the time. Your fingernails scratched over his arms and you wished that you could always feel his weight on top of you. You tucked on his hair, causing him to look at you with an crooked eyebrow. You held his gaze as you whispered: „Please don’t drag it out for any longer. Just fuck me.“ 

Roman was giving you another passionate kiss as he carefully positioned himself in front of you and with a last questioning look he was asking for your reassurance, asking you whether you really meant what you had been asking him for. You just gently took his shaft and guided him to your entrance while he inserted into you bit by bit until he was filling you up completely, his dick touching your walls, that immediately clenched around it. Both of you didn't dare to move for what felt like an eternity, before Roman started to rock back and forth, pushing into you, only to pull out again, finding the rhythm, that both of you enjoyed, while you were moaning out in pleasure. From time to time he left you completely, leaving you empty as soon as he did so. But every time he inserted himself into you again, shivers were running down your spine as you were anticipating that he would fill you anew.

This was what making love felt like contrary to the animalistic fucking Steve had to offer. You were passionately kissing him, scratching over his back with your fingernails, whispering: "Feel free to pick up a faster pace." Roman didn't need to be told twice and with all of his skill and experience he slowly fucked you, changing between faster and harder as well as slower and more gentle thrusts. You had no idea how long he was ponding into you, you didn’t even feel like trying different positions as this here just felt perfect the way it was. You held onto his body as he was pushing inside of you and with an increased pressure you were pushing your hand down on his butt, telling him to go faster and deeper. He ponded into you with more force, making you scream out in ecstasy. You couldn’t describe how much you loved that man, couldn’t describe how complete you felt being so close to him. 

You realized, that his thrusts became sloppier with each passing minute and you knew, that he was close to cum into you, just like you were close to explode all around his dick as well. He continued ponding into you for quite some time until you reached a sweet orgasm with him shooting his load into you just seconds afterwards. You both remained like that for a few more moments, neither of you willing to let that intimacy go, but Roman eventually pulled out of you, rolled off of you and immediately pulled you into his arms while gently kissing you, mumbling: "I love you baby girl, I really do." You smiled up at him and responded: "I love you as well, Ro. And thank you for being so gentle with me." 

You thought about it for a second, before you wanted to know: "I have been honest to you. Do you think that you can be honest with me as well?" He was gently stroking your arm, smiling down at you, saying: „Sure anytime. What do you want to know?" You just needed to know. Of course it wouldn't change anything between you but you just wanted to know whether you had guessed right. "I have slept with my best friend, what about you? Have you and Kate had sex in the past?", you asked him bluntly. Roman chuckled, asking: "And I really have to be completely honest now?" When he saw you nodding your head, he placed a small kiss on your forehead, answering: "We had, yes. But just like with you and Steve, it was nothing more than sex between best friends for me and her. No deeper feelings and something was missing. Something that i have found with you now." You were smiling up at him happily, kissing him once again with all the love you felt for him and just minutes later both of you dozed off, fully aware, that you had been given another chance and both of you were determined to make it work this time. And none of you were willing to let anything or anyone destroy your relationship ever again as only with one another you felt complete. 

What would happen if McMenamin's owned the Winchester Mystery House, still occupied by its batty creator, who had acquired strange and bizarre artifacts throughout her long life, even more than the Mystery Shack, and continued on her mad construction?  How would such a place run?

Here’s a dream I had the other night.

Along the Oregon coast, just south of Astoria, there are some 500+ acres of utterly untouched wilderness, once owned by what is now described as a madwoman.  I say untouched, but there is a building deep within the heart of it, a giant rambling construction dictated only by the whims of a spiritualist trying to avoid the wrath of a self-imposed curse.  She filled this building with her long lifetime's worth of artifacts, bizarre and arcane, filled with spirits and spiritual energies beyond the ability of any one person to control.  It would sound the start of some great horror story or murder mystery but no, what the hotel chain that bought it out saw was a financial opportunity.

It is a grand establishment, with so many secret passages, bizarre architectural flourishes, ghosts, and utterly eccentric décor and effects it couldn't be anything but one of the most fascinating establishments in all of Oregon.  It's original owner, now into her hundreds has stayed on living there, as part of the purchase agreement.  She is allowed to continue her procurement of magic and unusual artifacts, and so long as the hotel can operate, continue her rambling construction (never ending, to stave of that which she fears hunts her).  The hotel chain has fixed up the place a treat, covering it in beautiful artwork, adding amenities galore, and making it an incredible destination.  But it wasn't a purchase without risk.

The place is deeply haunted.  Like a spiritual magnet, it has drawn all sorts of entities, ghostly, magical, arcane, and otherwise, to it.  While many of these apparitions are harmless and only add to the allure, some are very dangerous, and could cause trouble for patrons.  Therefore, in addition to the usual hotel, restaurant, and sales staff of front desk, office managers, cooks, housekeeping, bartenders, servers, sales associates, and so on, there are three classes of spiritual workers employed:

Exorcists – Considered the most important (or at least the most self-important) these workers are the last to deal with any given situation.  Through their spiritual and magical prowess they are capable of purging magical entities from our dimension back to their home plane.  Their work is violent and dangerous, and they oversee the care and maintenance of the spiritual energy of the building – never too much, always just enough.

Brutes – Below the Exorcists are the Brutes, the physical bouncers of this ghostly place.  They are, through grace or training, able to physically beat the stuffing out of anything magical or ectoplasmic that comes their way.  When more severe means aren't needed, they pitch out the ghostly riff-raff.

Empaths – Considered the most lowly of the spiritualists, these people, through their own skills are able to diffuse conflict with ghosts and other magical entities.  They are first to be called, and are the ones with the most paperwork to deal with as they ensure that any claim of malicious spiritual activity is, in fact, ghosts and not rowdy patrons.  They are the talkers of the bunch, and work to peaceful resolutions of conflict, moving artifacts when needed to cleanse their energies, finding out the requests and needs of ghosts that are reasonable to work with, and meeting them, and otherwise working to keep the prestige of the strange nature of the place while avoiding conflict between the mundane and the magical.

I work as an Empath.  I have, throughout my life, been privy and partial to the strange, and yet, generally most sympathetic to it.  I find no need to kill the spiders in my home, but to find the best means that we can all live together. I, along with my fellows, am considered soft, but valuable at least. Although I deal with a lot of paperwork, constantly writing and filing reports of minor spiritual mischief and ensuring that it is dealt with or moved up the chain accordingly.  Patrons sign a waiver which states that if they attribute ghosts to their own wrongdoings, they are subject to significant fines, and follow up on those thankfully isn't my job, but I do have to ensure that everything in that regard is written up correctly if the Exorcists find no spiritual causes of destruction.

All of us spiritualists have a particular sort of uniform.  We all – no matter our class, wear the same clothes, meant to protect us from malicious entities; heavy boots with iron toes, a black jumpsuit with copper piping details, thick leather gloves, bags and satchels full of our various effects. It is both practical, and meant to keep us as indistinguishable from one another as possible, apart from the mask, which is unique to any of us, and can be dropped or traded off at any point to prevent further distinction among us in a crisis situation (you might know the one with the elk skull did something, but now there are just six humans in the room).  Sometimes you need to be one of many – sometimes you need to stand out to avoid dangerous spiritual situations, and this is the best compromise so far.

Each mask is generally skeletal in form, and made of a light and robust material.  It comprises a breathing apparatus in the front, which may be needed if an entity turns particularly hostile, or if work is needed in the pools and lake on the grounds.  Decorated with arcane symbols, there is some personalization allowed here, as the form must follow function, and each spiritual worker has their own little means of making it through the labyrinth of magical manipulation.

For all I am on a low rung and do more paperwork than I care for, I do enjoy my job.  The facilities are amazing, exciting, and unique, and even after a long hard day of work, they still provide surprises and enjoyment for most of us working here.  The building's original owner is fascinating, and there are seemingly no end to the magical creatures, artifacts, and events one might encounter on a daily basis.  The grounds are lush and extensive, and we are allowed use of them within reason, wandering the gardens or trekking through the libraries and museum-like portions of the building are always soothing on the nerves.

The woods are full of fair folk, drawn to the ancient and untouched wilderness beyond the hotel grounds, and they are as fascinating and beautiful as one would expect.  They glitter in a myriad of colors, and have the lingering countenance and bearing of wild animals in their 'human' forms.  They look different from us, yet compelling.  We've found so long as you don't eat their food or give them your name they are harmless to us, and sometimes will even enjoy our company.  It's generally considered a right of passage among the folk working here to have some sort of close encounter with them.  Some get a bit caught up in this; as time slows among the fair folk, your 15 minute break might turn into a long screw and a good nap if you time things out right, and you won't even be late back to work.

My fiance works as a bartender here, both to the human patrons and serving the spirits of spirits to the spirits.  Ghosts may not pay well (they don't have to, running a bar for those that drink the actual alcohol is profitable enough) but they do tip strange.  Any number of kinds of currency, barter, or artifacts may show up in the jar when you serve them.  There have been a few previous bartenders and servers who have retired happily at an early age due to a particularly generous patron.  We're trying not to directly hope – it's all up to chance, but you never know. We have acquired an alarming number of teeth though.  They'll probably turn into an art project.

I've not been working here as long as my fiance, but I've been working long enough to become pretty well accustomed to my job.  In any given day I'll make my rounds, investigate anything I've been delegated based on customer complaint, speak with whatever entities and creatures I can work with, and file the relevant paperwork.  Even for my rank I'm toward the bottom, and I receive the more simple and often dull jobs.  Most of what I work with is the leftovers of rowdy patrons, chasing unicorns out of the gardens (they're goats... they're fancy goats), and patrolling the lesser haunted halls and ensuring the usual activities are up to snuff (moving pictures,  floating candles, hot and cold spots, vaguely disquieting noises, the usual.  In addition to asking ghosts to leave, we also ask them to step up their act at times too).  I know it will get more involved with time, and I have patience.

It's one day when I'm almost off my shift and I'm being harassed by a Brute about how I've filed my paperwork for the day in regards to some patrons who have broken a stored Christmas tree and attributed it to ghosts (I KNOW I've done it correctly, don't tell me how to do my job when the only paperwork you have to file is 'found relevant ghost, punched it in face, it left') that we all get a very interesting call over our coms.  We're asked to assemble in the attic space (one of many) where an Egyptian Sarcophagus has been kept for almost as long as the building has been around. The Brute and I are closest, and therefore I'm handed a job I'm not sure is entirely within my scope.

It would seem the eclectic owner has had some sort of epiphany recently, and desires the sarcophagus, it's effects and its contents to be moved to a new area of the building, however, it's occupant, a mummy of the 6th dynasty, has been rousted by the move.  He is not in a bad mood, but is stalling movement awaiting someone to hear out his demands.  While this would often be an Exorcists work, he is peaceful in his protest, and I'm the first Empath to get there.  He is almost immediately forthcoming with me – he wants to go home.  He doesn’t belong here, and never did, of course, and has been quiet and patient but enough is too much and he's quite done.  There is, as I convey this to those around me, the immediate question of how much of the very valuable artifacts associated with him he will take with, I see greed in the eyes of the managers I work with, but... it is all for naught.  He doesn’t want anything but to go, not to move on, but simply to go back to Egypt and find his way there.  Having not moved on as expected, he would at least like to go somewhere which must be somewhat more familiar.  He knows time has passed, but he can't simply wait around as an exhibit for whatever is to happen to him next.

It is surprising to see such animation – he has not been active ever, to anyone's knowledge, yet speaking here amongst us he begins to take back the trappings of life.  He is between, we understand him for he is not living, and the language of death is universal, but he is not a ghost either, a living construct. If what inhabits him now is the same spirit he had living, or if he has simply taken on a life of his own in death is unclear, but there are physical flashes in his withered form of the person he once was. There is some hemming an hawing, a real live mummy after all, but it is agreed that I am to serve as diplomat, as he has immediately taken to my straightforward and curious way of speaking to him, and get him on home, wherever that may be, expenses paid, of course (it is definitely good PR to return artifacts of certain provenance to their homelands, no one is so pig-headedly greedy here as to not see that). The hotel has had to deal with reparations before, not all artifacts here were attained through legitimate or kind means, and this, well, if only the being wishes to go, and the rest is still up to the estate here, it can be managed.  It's a frustratingly corporate world, and this is beyond anything I've dealt with, but I'm ready to make do.

With my fiance, a mummy, and my spiritualist know-how, we're somehow going to navigate all this to a better end, and, eventually, get back to work.

tw: mental illness, drug use, addiction

Basic Information

Full Name: Jean Baptiste Sauvage

Nickname(s): Jack

Age: 36

Date of Birth: August 13th

Hometown: Paris, France

Current Location: Paris, France

Ethnicity: Malaysian

Nationality: French

Gender: Cis-Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Orientation: In modern terms, Jack is the type of person who would simply call himself “queer” and be done with it. For the purposes of this, though, he is demi- to aromantic and bisexual.

Religion: Atheist with some fringe interests in the occult.

Political Affiliation: General disinterest. He grew up in that world and has no desire to rejoin it.

Occupation: Film writer and director. Formerly (and occasionally still, a stage actor).

Living Arrangements: He lives in a small second story apartment. The neighborhood is rough but rent is cheap and no one bothers him. 

Language(s) Spoken: French and English, fluently. His Spanish is conversational but broken and largely forgotten and most of the phrases he remembers are elicit and sexual. He speaks key phrases in several other European languages and can ask for a drink and a cigarette anywhere in the world.

Accent: Jack’s accent can be hard to place and depends largely what language he’s speaking in. Typically, his accent has a heavy upper-class London influence, especially when he’s speaking English. His French accent is also a bit watered down by the time he spent in London and America.

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Henry Golding

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour: Dark Brown

Height: 6′2″

Weight: 210

Build: Average build. He is in shape and has built strength over the years by carrying heavy filming equipment around. His muscles, though, are generally toned but not overly defined.

Tattoos: TBD

Piercings: None

Clothing Style: It is rare to see Jack dressed down. At most he is wearing a full tailored suit. At the least he’s wearing slacks and a crisp button down shirt with a suit vest.

Usual Expression: Jack’s default expression can be described as either “vacant” or “hyper-focused” depending on the angle. When he is by himself, he tends to get lost in his own thoughts and his people watching. In groups, especially after a few drinks, he finds himself much more at ease and wears the subtle hints of a relaxed smile.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Jack has a faint scar across the bridge of his nose--the result of getting mugged during his first few weeks in Brooklyn.

Health

Physical Ailments: Jack is relatively healthy with no chronic physical issues.

Neurological Conditions: Though none of this will ever be addressed, diagnosed, or treated, Jack probably has Persistent Depressive Disorder as well as a mild form of Psychosis or a mild Dissociation Disorder. This presents in infrequent but extended periods of time in which Jack disconnects from reality entirely. He tends to self-medicate and withdraw from all of his social obligations. These episodes are characterized by mild auditory and visual hallucinations, though whether this is caused by his disorder or his drug use is undetermined. Jack, however, just views these episodes as a natural part of his creative process and will never seek any type of medical or psychological intervention.

Allergies: None.

Sleeping Habits: Jack is in an almost constant state of sleep deprivation. He has trouble putting himself to bed and turning his brain off in a timely manner. This could either be a symptom or a cause of his aforementioned dissociative episodes, though it will remain unclear which. Combined with his frequent late nights out on the town, social engagements that last until well in the morning, and late night bursts if artistic inspiration, Jack’s sleeping patterns are as erratic as they are infrequent. He is always late to bed but early to rise and on a normal night he can expect to get around 3-5 hours of sleep with an hour-long nap or two somewhere in the day.

Eating Habits: Jack is not an overly picky eater, but he does tend to lean towards a healthy diet by default. He doesn’t cook in his hope (he doesn’t know how) so most of his meals are from restaurants, bars, and markets in the city. He keeps a sparse amount of food in his home, mostly alcohol and bread.

Exercise Habits: A lot of Jack’s physical exercise comes from things he does on a regular basis, rather than time set aside to devote to his fitness. He frequently moves heavy film equipment, sets up shots, hangs his own set pieces, etc. So, he gets a lot of physical exercise from what he does on a normal day. Additionally, Jack walks almost everywhere he goes.

Emotional Stability: Publicly, Jack is as stable as they come. It’s rare for anyone to see the cracks in his facade, but if people looked closely enough they’re definitely there. On a scale of 1 to 10, Jack would put himself firmly as a 9, ignoring how devastating his dissociative episodes can be for himself and anyone who happens to make contact with him during those times. Realistically, he’s probably a firm 5.

Sociability: Jack is a rather social creature by default. He enjoys spending time with others, but is highly selective of the people he chooses to surround himself with. He does not enjoy being part of a large crowd and will frequently find space to be alone if he is in a crowded venue. His personality doesn’t lend itself well to being the center of attention and he is normally fairly quick to shift that attention on to someone else. His interactions with people one-on-one take the form of in depth conversations with intensely probing questions. Jack takes an interest in people in a way that can make them feel as if he genuinely wants to know them. What they don’t know is that Jack has a bad habit of viewing people as source material rather than actual human beings.

Body Temperature: Cold-Natured.

Addictions: Yes?

Drug Use: Jack’s drug use is as erratic as his sleeping habits. He is a heavy smoker, both of cigarettes and marijuana, though these are so widely available and frequently used he would hardly consider them drugs. His vice of choice is cocaine, of which he is almost a daily user. During episodes, however, he can extend into more dangerous and illicit narcotics including heroin and mescaline. 

Alcohol Use: Jack is a social drinker. He always has a well stocked bar in his apartment but rarely drinks when he’s alone.

Personality

Label: The Cinephile

Positive Traits: Charming, creative, eccentric, intellectual, passionate, diligent, curious.

Negative Traits: Arrogant, careless, detached, dishonest, unstable, unreliable, messy.

Goals/Desires: Jack’s goals tend to be career oriented. Right now, his primary focus is making his next film. Everything outside of that is secondary. He doesn’t have many goals for his personal life, his love life, his family life, etc. His short term, daily goals all revolve around stimulation of some kind. Be it intellectual, emotional, physical. He’s always looking for something to inspire and motivate him.

Fears: Jack’s primary fears are failure and, by extension, fading into obscurity. He is on top of the world right now. His most recent film was a critical success but that was nearly two years ago. His ideas for his next film are fragmented and vague, he fears that he will never be able to piece them together. He also fears loneliness. Jack is a man who, despite his efforts to get to know people, only ever emerges with surface level relationships. He has hundreds of acquaintances whom he knows very well but feels little to no emotional connection to. This is, in part, because Jack has a tendency to view people as subjects and source material rather than emotional beings with wants and needs. This is also because he feels deeply uncomfortable letting other people into his life for fear of rejection. Jack doesn’t see himself as someone who is capable of having a meaningful connection with another person. And, though he’ll never admit it, this is something that makes him very sad. 

Hobbies: Aside from the obvious acting, writing, filming, Jack enjoys a number of solitary hobbies. He is a voracious reader. His favorite author is HG Wells but his favorite book is Dracula. He is also a frequent people watcher. It is not at all uncommon to find him at a back table in a crowded night club either reading or jotting down notes about the individuals around him. Additionally, Jack has a tentative interest in the occult. He is not a practitioner by any means, nor is he completely sure he believes in the whole concept. But, he owns a few books on the subject and can occasionally be found to dabble in the rituals and research of it all.

Habits: In addition to the more destructive habits mentioned in the health section, Jack’s most noticeable tick is popping his knuckles. It’s a small thing, but in a man with such a tight fist around his public image, anything that seems compulsive is noteworthy.

Favourites

Weather: Rain.

Colour: Black.

Music: I don’t think Jack has a preference for any type of music. It’s all background noise to him and not something he actively seeks out.

Movies: His own, obviously. Aside from that, he is inspired by French and German techniques as well as the rising Spanish surrealist movement.

Sport: Any sport where dashing young men break a sweat.

Beverage: Alcoholic--Scotch. Non-Alcoholic: Earl Grey Tea.

Food: Jack acquired a taste for traditional Spanish cooking and there is nothing quite like it in Paris. He is always sad.

Animal: There is a fat orange cat who has recently taken up residence on his balcony. He feeds it scraps and calls it Kit (short for Kitten because? sure why not?). Gun to his head, that dumb cat is his favorite animal.

Family

Father: Rene Sauvage (d.)

Mother: Sylvie Sauvage, 61.

Sibling(s): None

Children: None

Pet(s): None.

Family’s Financial Status: Upper-class, incredibly wealthy. Jack was cut off from the family fortune through most of his life. Recently, however, his father left him a significant sum of money in his will as an effort to make amends with his estranged son.

Extra

Zodiac Sign: Leo

MBTI: INFP

Enneagram: Type 3: The Performer 

Temperament: Melancholic 

Hogwarts House: Slytherine

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Primary Vice: Pride

Primary Virtue: Diligence 

Element: Fire

🌈 - 👊 - 🙅 - 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 for each of your active RP charr >:3c

(( SCREAMS ))

(( Going to format this one a bit differently - I’ll list all the questions at the top, and then just go through each character, using paragraph breaks to separate the questions. ))

🌈 What is their sexuality? 

👊 Do they have a warband? What role do they play on it? Who are the other members of their warband? 

🙅 Who do they consider their enemy(ies)? 

👨‍👩‍👦‍👦  Who is their birth family? Who is their chosen family? 

Alcmene Chillhorn: Alcmene is asexual, though she’s homoromantic. Unfortunately, it took her a little while to realize that and now she’s got a few bad memories/experiences floating around.

Alcmene is the Legionnaire (formerly second-in-command) of Chill Warband, a Blood Legion warband that patrols the Shiverpeaks. Aside from her Legionnaire duties, she’s a capable frontline soldier, medic-in-training, basic radio operator, tactician, and general mom-friend. Other members include the Centurion Vyneera Chillcleave, ((and several other members that I honestly don’t remember right now)) Kayla Chilltooth, Zelra Soulchill...

Alcmene’s primary enemies are the Icebrood and Sons of Svanir, though to a lesser extent the Dredge as well. She also still hates humans with a vengeance, though she doesn’t let that get in the way of her civility, as far as duty is concerned.

Alcmene was born to a dam and sire she never knew ((and I never developed)), and her fahrar Warband ((also undeveloped)) fell in the war against humanity. The ceasefire disbanded what was left, leading her to join up with her chosen family, Chill Warband.

Aspa Spiterune: Aspa is heterosexual, though she’s not really interested in pursuing that. She doesn’t like interacting with anyone that much.

Aspa is a member of the Spite Warband, an Iron ‘band based out of the Iron shipyards in Ashford. She’s primarily a welder, using her elemental powers to fuse metal quickly, cleanly, and with no tools but her own paws, though she’s a sturdy combatant in a pinch. ((I don’t know any other members besides Tea’s Spite-gal who heroically gave her life so that another character could be born, so x3;; ))

As far as enemies go, Aspa’s primary one would be, uh, bad workmanship? Separatists are the most common issue she deals with on a regular basis, though she’s the kind of gal to consider everyone her enemy.

Aspa was born to a yet-undeveloped dam and sire, and her fahrar warband happens to be her chosen family - Spite. Though, if she’d had the choice, she’d have been born Blood, and would be out there kicking human booty.

Bathea Sorrowhaunt: Bathea is bisexual, but is too terrified of Legion charr to ever do anything about it. She’s hoping to find a nice Archborn that knows nothing of Legion life, but work keeps getting in the way.

Bathea was once a member of an (unnamed) ((I’m noticing a trend...)) Blood Warband, before an ‘incident’ led her to leave the Legions and flee to the Arch, where she joined the Lionguard. Now, she’s a medic, though her size, bulk, and Blood training mean that she acts as bruiser when needed (as much as she hates doing so).

Her enemies are basically the everyday issues she deals with - drunkards, troublemakers, and rabblerousers, as well as a variety of injuries from all sorts of sources. As far as outside forces, she probably mostly hates hostile pirate groups or privateers, as well as general bandits and thieves, as they cause her the most trouble. She’s not too fond of those battle-drunk followers of Balthazar, either...

Her birth family would have been the former Warband. While she loved them to bits, she hated Legion life, and so the aforementioned ‘incident’ (in which her unfortunate warband met a cruel fate...) allowed her the opportunity to move on, and find her chosen family in the Lionguard.

Black Spiraldancer: Black is technically heterosexual, but way too distrustful and paranoid to ever engage with anyone on that level. Black (who, for the purposes of telling them apart, will now be referred to as “Blak”) is a lesbian, and although she’s less paranoid, her sister has enough of a stranglehold on her to keep her away from any entanglements.

Black and Blak have never had a warband, only ever each other. Black and Blak are merchants, peddling used/pre-owned goods for discount prices. Black tends to specialize more in acquiring merchandise, while Blak has the better personality for dealing with customers and closing the sale.

Black and Blak’s primary enemies are the Adamant Guard, pesky lot that stick their snouts where they don’t belong. Really, their enemy is “law enforcement” anywhere, or anyone else that might object to their goods being liberated to provide stock for the ‘Black market’.

Black and Blak’s birth and chosen family is simply each other. They’ve only ever had each other, and as far as they’re concerned, they only ever want each other. It’s just the two of them, against the world.

Crusader Sootwalker: Sootwalker is heterosexual, and as much as she’d love to pursue it more, there’s not a lot of potential partners that can keep up with her size.

Sootwalker is currently a member of the Soot Warband of the Vigil. She’s a bruiser, beater, battlemaiden, and all-around behemoth on the battlefield. Other skills include eating, more fighting, more eating, and sleeping. Other members include Sootpaws and Sootcrawler.

Sootwalker’s primary enemies are Kralkatorrik, the Shatterer, and all of the Dragonbrand/Branded.

Sootwalker’s birth family is an (undeveloped) Blood warband, though her chosen family is certainly the Vigil. She’s made many friends and battle-brothers in her time there, especially among her new Vigil Warband.

Domitus Shardspirit: Domitus is pansexual, and is pretty casual about what his partner has or doesn’t have.

Domitus is a member of the Shard Warband, acting in his role as scout, tracker, spiritualist, communer, and general hippy. Other members of the warband include Centurion Traikill Stormshard, Soho Moonshard, Legionnaire Grimm Shardheart, Firiann Fellshard, Karnelion Shardgrin, and too many more to name.

Domitus’ primary enemies would be whoever Shard’s up against at the moment, of course, though as far as personal vendettas, top of the list would likely be Charr industrialists and Asura, as well as Dredge. Dom has a deep dislike of the way these races meddle with nature.

While he was born in the Shiverpeaks and raised in an outpost fahrar as part of Glare Warband ((hah, finally one I have developed)), Dom’s chosen family is partly Shard Warband, and partly something more personal - his loyal fernhound, Foof, and the small commune of nature spirits that call him/his belongings home.

Fyra Shalespine: Fyra is pansexual and is always down to get down, though she much prefers being a guide and mentor rather than a participant.

Fyra is a member of the Shale warband, where she’s the majordomo of meditations, chief of chakras, and master of massagetherapy. She’s also a solid fighter when she puts her mind to it, and an experienced voice of reason. The only other member that I remember is Caligus Torqueshale.

Fyra’s primary enemies are triple: whatever Shale’s dealing with; Mordrem and other desert nonsense; bad vibes. She spends a lot of her non-Warband time working with others and sometimes, it’s a bit too draining.

I talked a bit about her birth family in a previous answer, but her chosen family is simple, yet elaborate: her warband, Shale; the Vigil; and anyone she happens to be sharing her time with, whether for a minute or a lifetime.

Einn Úlfursdottir: Einn’s bisexual, but with a male preference.(That said, she’s taken, so.)

Einn isn’t a charr, silly!

Einn’s enemies on a day-to-day basis tend to be icebrood and Sons of Svanir, which seems to have multiplied lately, though she also faces off against Dredge, Jotun, and just general critters and beasties of the Shiverpeaks.

Einn’s birth family is unknown, as she was found orphaned. However, her chosen family, at least for most of her life, was her adoptive parents, Maja and Úlfur. Now, without them, she’s searching for a new family to take their place as her ‘pack’.

Graf Towercleave: Graf is heterosexual, though at his age he’s kind of given up on that sort of thing.

Graf is a member of the Cleave Warband, where he functions as resident old man and occasional sword-swinger. Sometimes he tries to do magic. It almost always does not go well. Other members are currently Legionnaire Rrul Rivecleave, Dexious Fiercecleave, Lexus Frostcleave, and Fiana Spiritcleave.

Graf’s enemies are naturally the Dominion, though he bears a special hatred for the Sons of Svanir and Icebrood after what they did in Bjora. Ultimately, he hates all dragon minions.

Graf’s been through several families in his lifetime - from his fahrar warband Field, to his Vigil warband Thunder, to his current warband Cleave. He’s no stranger to battle-brotherhood, and takes his family bonds where he can. That said, he still maintains a lot of contacts within the Vigil, and thinks of many of them as family still.

Ink Voidbreath: Ink is asexual and doesn’t really have any interest in that sort of thing.

Ink is currently gladium, with no warband to speak of. Prior to that, they were ((Spoilers for Lunar story)) a member of Breath Warband, acting as assassin, general-purpose caster, voice of reason, scout, and occasional medic.

Ink’s enemies tend to be conflict in general - positioning themselves as the enemy of strife, they find that they have enemies in both sides of the Charr-Human conflict, in both sides of the Charr civil war, and now they’re not really sure where their allegiances lie.

Ink’s birth family was an (undeveloped) Ash warband, though after their grisly demise, Ink grew disillusioned. Even in their time with Breath, they never felt part of a “family”, so it’s hard to say that they’ve had a “chosen family” since their first warband.

Keele Rustsocket: Keele is bisexual with a strong female preference.

Keele is currently part of the Socket warband, a Pact mechanic warband where she serves as an airship mechanic and engineer. I’ve not created any other members for it.

Keele’s enemies are any sort of Dragon or Dragon Minion, though she admittedly has a personal hatred for any remaining Mordrem, after the events of the Pact Fleet in the Maguuma Expedition...

Although Keele left behind her “birth family” to join the Pact, she maintains regular contact with them and they all get together for drinks whenever possible. That said, she gets along quite well with her new family, Socket, as well as her many friends and “coworkers” amongst the Pact. She’s even made quite a few friends in the BLTC, during her time in the Aerodrome!

Kreyn Fluxlift: Kreyn is a lesbian, though she is absolutely too dense to know when anyone’s hitting on her.

Kreyn is currently part of the Flux warband, where she serves as an engineer and designer, specializing in lifting bodies and aerodynamics. Other members include Legionnaire Grarr Fluxforge and a few others whose names I don’t remember.

Kreyn’s enemies include long sentences and complicated words, as well as other unscrupulous inventors who might be trying to steal her ideas. Other than that, aside from a general dislike of ghosts and humans, she’s relatively insulated from any real enemies.

Originally part of Bolt Warband, many of Kreyn’s initial ‘bandmates were killed or injured in a horrific accident. Following that, she moved into Flux Warband, where she is now. She’s quite happy with her new family, and although she checks on her former ‘bandmates occasionally, she has trouble remembering to on a regular basis.

Kurra Fogshroud: Kurra is absolutely a lesbian.

Kurra is part of Fog Warband, stationed in eastern Ashford, where she serves primarily as a sniper, though she occasionally doubles as a master of disguise.

Kurra’s enemies are primarily ogres, with whom she’s engaged in a daily battle. She also has to contend with ghosts, devourers, bats, gargoyles, and all sorts of other annoying beasties, but absolutely her biggest beef is with the ogres.

Kurra’s lucky in that her birth and chosen families are one and the same: Fog Warband! So far, aside from one or two unfortunate deaths, Fog’s been the same from fahrar to present day.

Kyrdra Sparkdawn: Kyrdra is polysexual, mostly preferring anyone that she can top.

Kyrdra is currently a part of Spark Warband, of Iron Legion, a bottom-of-the-barrel scrapper Warband that’s effectively a punishment assignment. She’s a scrapper in name and trade, using her brute strength to bust apart even the most resilient of wreckage. Other members include Legionnaire Sparkspring, and the now-deceased Sparkjaw and Sparkwire.

Kyrdra’s enemy is basically the whole world - it certainly seems like it’s out to get her! That said, her biggest beef is with Flame - partly because they’re what ruined her life in the first place, and partly because they keep making trouble while she’s just trying to scrap wreckage. She’s also not very fond of Forged (and those damn Choya....)

Although Spark isn’t her first warband, she hates her original ‘bandmates and would hunt them down if afforded the time. Even so, she doesn’t get on well with Spark, and often clashes with the Legionnaire, Sparkspring. She’d never let herself admit to liking any of them, though she does (in private!) mourn the loss of some, such as Sparkwire or Sparkjaw.

Lad Duskpillager: Lad is very gay and prefers fellow nasty bois.

Lad is part of the rough-and-tumble Pillager Warband, where he fills in as part-time bruiser, part-time mad scientist, part-time experimenter, and full-time horrible creature. Other members include Cur Blitzpillager, and their Legionnaire.

Lad’s enemies are far too many to count, including the Adamant Guard, his fellow ‘bandmates, capitalism, and just about everything. His biggest struggles are mostly with the law (especially the Adamant Guard and the Peacekeepers) and with his fellow ‘bandmates (who, strangely enough, don’t enjoy being experimented upon!)

Lad doesn’t really have a chosen family - his initial Warband was devastated, and since then he’s simply been looking for a way to continue his work. That said, Pillager is currently home, so they count! He doesn’t hate them, at least, and sometimes they get up to some really fun mischief.

Morak Stillwater: Morak is heterosexual, though he’s mostly a hormone-crazed youngster and would probably bone just about anything.

Morak doesn’t have a warband, instead being part of a pirate crew. He serves as navigator, first mate, occasional fisher-charr, and by virtue of being the only one with a beast, the beastmaster.

Morak has a few enemies, though his biggest is probably the man, man. He’s a rebellious youth who resents Lion’s Arch and its leadership for what it did to his family, and although he’s mostly struggling to get by, all his spare energy is definitely put towards sticking it to the power.

An Arch charr by birth, Morak’s family was taken from him by Scarlet’s invasion. Although they’re less a family and more just a bunch of unfortunates thrown together by circumstance, his current “chosen” family is his crew, under the leadership of Captain Yeens.

Naphtha Seizetar: Naphtha is what I’d call demisexual, though she tends to have more of a female preference.

Naphtha is currently a member of Seize Warband, working as a researcher, where she’s developing ways to convert organic biomass into post-processed hydrocarbons (AKA turning corpses into fuel). Other members include her Legionnaire, Kharra Seizespark, and Nenqe Seizebabe Seizeshield.

Naphtha, as an Iron researched, fortunately doesn’t have many enemies, though already in her time with Seize she’s developed a dislike for rock elementals, separatists, spiders, grawl, dredge, and Inquest. Her biggest challenge is probably Clonky... that bastard.

Originally Naphtha Rotplate of Plate Warband, after an industrial accident, she’s eagerly signed on to Seize Warband (though a little less eager after meeting the Legionnaire), making the trio her chosen family, although she shows a disturbing level of anthropomorphism towards her “rot vats”....

Olmakhan Firedancer: The unnamed Firedancer is bisexual, and although he has a female preference as far as romance/company goes, his sexual attraction is stronger for other men.

He’s not currently a member of any warband, instead being part of the Olmakhan, a tribal society of Charr living in a small cluster of islands off the coast of Elona.

The Olmakhan unfortunately have more than their fair share of enemies, between Awakened/Palawan loyalists, the Inquest, dangerous beasties, Djinn... any one of these is a weight upon his conscience, though all of them together pushes the Olmakhan to the fringes of survival.

Living his relatively sheltered island life, the boy’s birth family happens to be his chosen family, his Olmakhan friends and fellow villagers. Recently, however, he’s taken to traveling the newly rediscovered world, and is starting to pick up new friends along the way, though the amount of letters he’s sending home would make a Sylvari blush.

Rakk Smokewraith: Nasty bastard boy. Rakk is pansexual and will bone down on anything that moves. Evil wicked man.

Rakk is a member of the Smoke Warband in truth, where he acts as a spy and infiltrator, searching for Renegades, Flame, Dominion, and anyone else that Ash Legion has determined to be a Charr of interest. However, part of that is his cover identity as Rakk Blackpowder, of Powder Warband, where he’s an Iron engineer, using his small size to squeeze into narrow tank compartments.

Rakk’s enemies are the Legion’s enemies: Old Flame, Dominion, Frost Legion, Renegades, and just general traitors and criminals. Any Charr that goes against the Legions becomes part of his growing list of enemies.

Despite still being a part of his fahrar Warband, their assignment(s) means that they don’t interact much, if at all, now that they’ve graduated. So while he’s still a part of his birth family, so to speak, Rakk’s chosen family is certainly much more important to him. Unfortunately, that’s still not much, because it’s composed primarily of barkeeps, informants, and various Charr offering questionable services.

Ruya Starchaser: Ruya has no idea what she likes, and certainly not much interest (or time!) to pursue anything, though inside, she’d find that she’s pretty evenly bisexual.

Ruya's abandoned any sort of Warband life, and now is part of the Priory instead, as described in a previous post.

Despite being a huge nerd who just wants to look at the stars, Ruya has to deal with a number of desert annoyances - Palawan loyalists and leftover Awakened are the biggest threats, though the occasional Iboga or remnant Branded continue to be issues as well.

Ruya has no regrets about leaving her ‘birth family’ behind, quite content among her ‘chosen family’ in the Priory. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately for her), that chosen family tends to be about 70% books, 28% telescopes, and only 2% or so other people, usually when she’s giving a lecture...

Rylka Miststone: Rylka is pretty solidly heterosexual.

Rylka’s a member of Mist Warband, a relatively new warband composed of revenants, intended to be the Legions’ test-group for these new abilities, given how un-cooperative Tribune Brimstone has been in sharing details.

Rylka’s got plenty of enemies on her plate. Separatists, Old Flame, Dominion, Frost Legion, leftover Branded, Ghosts... anything that threatens the Charr is a threat to her, almost on the level of personal affront.

Rylka’s life goal is to get close to (and emulate) Rytlock Brimstone, and so her ideal chosen family would of course be Rytlock himself. Failing that, she’s at least surrounded herself with fellow loyal-minded Charr, though she isn’t particularly close to any of them.

Sela Lunarstep: Sela’s somewhat bisexual, though she’s almost exclusively male-preferring.

Sela’s the Legionnaire of Lunar Warband, where her skills include espionage, sabotage, assassination, direct combat... anything that Ash needs doing. Her loyal soldiers include Grus Lunarspark, Malin Lunarstone, Xyx Blacklunar/Corax Lunarcaller, and many others.

Sela’s enemies are plenty, as well as her personal grudges. Ultimately, her enemies are whoever the Legion pits her against. That said, she has a particular hatred for traitors, especially Renegades, and a bit of personal beef against ghosts.

Although Lunar Warband is technically Sela’s birth family, almost their entire number has been whittled down over the years, leaving only Sela and Grus as the two remaining original members. The rest of Lunar, despite coming later, is absolutely Sela’s chosen family - they’re hers, her soldiers, and she’s happy and proud to be her Legionnaire; she’d do anything for them!

Sentinel Glassblade: Sentinel Glassblade is absolutely not bone-able. Very forbidden. Do not. (Strictly speaking, her mind is too twisted and warped to really think in that sort of vein anymore, and her body doesn’t respond much either. Once upon a time, she was quite heterosexual.)

Once a feared Ash Legion Centurion, now she’s little more than an outcast Sentinel, though she’s found a place in the Glass Warband, among other members like Glasscutter and Glassedge. Despite the deterioration of her mind, she retains a bevy of skills including tracking, combat, and interrogation (although the latter isn’t very useful against Branded...)

Glassblade’s enemies are, primarily, what remains of the Brand, and the Branded that inhabit it. As a Sentinel, she’s doomed to wander the Brand and work to contain its horrors for the rest of her life. Though somewhere inside, she definitely harbors a grudge against the treacherous soldier that landed her in this position...

Born to a rather well-known dam, Glassblade quickly rose through the ranks of her “birth family”, becoming a Centurion at a young age, though that’s all behind her now. She certainly didn’t choose the Sentinel life, and even among her new warband, she keeps herself distant and elusive. The closest she has to a chosen family is her devourer, Grendel, which has (for some reason) stayed by her side for years now.

Skara Weldblast: Skara is polysexual with a mild preference for the ladies (and a strong exhibitionist streak).

Skara’s a member of the Weld Warband, where she works as an engineer. She’s currently researching metallurgy and explosion-based welding techniques, looking to reuse old munitions and materiel to create new alloys. She works under Legionnaire Rallus Weldcog.

Skara doesn’t have much in the way of enemies, besides empty kegs and boredom. Still, she’s not immune to the troubles of the Charr as a whole, and definitely bears hatred for ghosts, separatists, and all the other troubles plaguing Charrkind, especially the Dominion of late.

Skara can find a “family” just about anywhere - after a long night of drinking and partying, just about anyone nearby is a member of the family! She’s certainly not picky, and although she loves her warband to bits, she’s pretty generous with her caring nature.

Wassail Ciderpride: The boy is pretty evenly bisexual!

Not technically a Warband, though the Cider brothers do call themselves “Cider Warband” from time to time! It’s Wassail and his brother Wurzel Cidersnout, with Wassail in charge of water supply and some of the more inventive drinks, such as Zapple.

As every brewer knows, Wassail’s biggest enemies are poor sanitation, bad water quality, and mold. Aside from those, the worst that the Brothers have to deal with is the occasional issue on their way to a market - bandits, at worst, which isn’t so bad. The Boys have it easy.

Wassail’s pretty happy with his family as they are - he’s got a successful and fun business/career with his brother and father and they have lots of great times and fun memories.

Special Delivery

A little Christmas joy for @itsmesaberaltered

As promised, Bonnie and Arthur. SFW (although not for lack of trying on their part) Bonnie and Arthur spend Christmas with the rest of the family in Sanctuary. All fluff. Christmas sweaters included. 

If anyone doesn’t know, this would be set about a year after the end of Unfrozen, which you can read here.  (putting a read more because it’s semi-longish)

To the people of the Brotherhood, the Elder and his wife made an odd couple indeed. You almost didn’t even notice her there, quiet, unspeaking. Elder Maxson was an intimidating man, large, commanding, and if anyone did ask the Elder’s wife a question, she almost always looked at him anxiously before answering, as though waiting for permission to speak.

When she wasn’t at the Elder’s side, she could usually be found in the medical bay, where she worked as a scribe, apprenticing under Knight-Captain Cade. She was kind and soft spoken, and a particular favourite with the squires on board the Prydwen.

But she wasn’t there today. Today, she was in the Elder’s quarters, packing her things. They were headed to Sanctuary to take a much needed few days off and spend time with her brother, Nate, and his husband, Paladin Danse. 

After all, it was Christmas, and what was Christmas for if not to spend time with family.

“Are you sure you need all those clothes?” Arthur asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Arthur, it’s December, and it’s cold.”

“You’re even cold in July,” he rebutted. 

That was true. She turned around in his arms and pulled him down for a kiss, which quickly grew heated. His hand pushed the bottom of her shirt aside, and began creeping up her belly, while his mouth moved from her lips to her cheek and then her neck, where his beard tickled in the most amazing way, sending heat through her body.

There was a knock at the door, and they pulled apart, breathless.

“Who is it?” Arthur asked.

“Your vertibird is ready, Sir,”

Arthur sighed, and pulled Bonnie close for one last kiss on the forehead. “We’ll have to save this for later.”

***

The people of Sanctuary had a slightly different opinion of Arthur and Bonnie’s relationship than the Brotherhood did.

At more than two hundred settlers, almost three quarters of them were survivors from the cryofreeze experiment in the local Vault 111. In the first year after the vault was opened, Bonnie had stepped up as the leader of the community, and although she no longer fulfilled that role, many of the settlers still considered her their leader.

Bonnie knew most of the settlers by name, and considered many of them her friends. As such, she was a lot less anxious speaking with them, and didn’t lean on her husband as much for strength and encouragement.

Although some of the newer settlers were intimidated by the big Brotherhood officer, most of the others had known him for a while, and a few even addressed him by his first name, something which scandalized Paladin Danse, despite being on a first name basis with the Elder himself.

Arthur spotted the Paladin and Nate through the crowd and made a beeline for them, tugging Bonnie along with him, knowing she would never make it through the crowd without him. He gave Danse a big hug, slapping him on the back, before turning to Nate and doing the same thing. He normally wouldn’t do that sort of thing, but he tended to behave a little more like a civilian while in Sanctuary, and he considered Nate, Danse, and Shaun to be his family.

“What are the holiday plans?” Bonnie asked her brother. They were twins, and they looked quite similar, with sandy hair and hazel eyes. Nate had a perpetual twinkle in his eye, and was friendly and confident, in contrast to his shy sister.

“We have a dinner planned, and a bonfire tonight. Mrs. Coleman figured out how to make marshmallows, so we are going to toast them on the fire. And then we have gifts!”

“Gifts?” Arthur asked. Christmas wasn’t a big deal for most people in the wasteland, but this settlement was unique, and they kept many of their pre-war traditions.

“Well, Danse and I hit the motherlode in an abandoned shopping mall. Somehow in all these years, not one person managed to break into the storage warehouse, and we hauled back enough clothing for the entire settlement.”

“Nate, Nobody’s going to want those clothes,” Danse interrupted.

“They are cute!” Nate argued. “And practical. And warm! It’s not like we can be picky these days.”

Bonnie looked up at Danse. “What’s wrong with them?”

“They’re-”

But before he could finish, they were interrupted by a small shape which flung itself at Bonnie’s knees, almost knocking her over. She looked down and laughed. “Shaun!” she said, picking up her nephew. “I’ve missed you!”

“Missed you too, mama,” Shaun said. Shaun occasionally called her mama, due to her role as one of his primary caregivers when he was very small.

Arthur looked at the small child tucked in his wife’s arms, and a warmth filled his heart. She was in a lot of ways his mother, but Nate was his father. And when the boy wriggled and stretched his arms out for Danse, who collected the boy from Bonnie, Arthur saw that Danse was becoming just as much a father to the boy as Nate was.

They all headed into the small house which had belonged to Nate before the war, and Nate and Danse left them alone to settle in. Arthur wasted no time, pulling Bonnie into his arms and nuzzling against her neck.

“Hm, where were we?”

“I think I was unpacking,” Bonnie replied, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she pushed Arthur’s heavy coat away from his shoulders and ran her hands up his chest. She still couldn’t believe she had gotten so lucky. Her husband was gorgeous, tall, strong, and he didn’t hide the fact that he pretty much worshipped her. She wasn’t always sure why, but after six months of marriage, she simply had no choice but to accept that it was true.

Arthur’s voice grumbled low down in his chest, sounding like a purr. The sound seemed to make her body vibrate with a need to get closer, so she pulled his mouth to hers. His hand crept around to her backside and he pressed their bodies together, eliciting a soft moan from Bonnie.

She was reaching for the zip of his jumpsuit when she heard the front door of the house open.

“Helloooo!!”

It was the Cofrans. They lived in the house with Danse and Nate, and helped look after Shaun whenever the two men were away. Bonnie’s room was normally Shaun’s, but he was staying with Cindy and her mother while they visited. There weren’t enough houses in town for everyone without doubling and tripling up some families, although there were plans for a new bunkhouse for single people in the spring, which should ease some of the pressure.

“You go say hi, Bon. I need to… uh… change first.” Bonnie looked down and smiled. Her husband had been getting a little excited.

“We’ll find time, Arthur,” she told him.

“Hmph,” he grunted in response. They were always so busy on the Prydwen, he had hoped to have some private time with his wife while they were on leave. He should have known better.

Bonnie was chatting with the Cofrans when Arthur came out, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, with a leather jacket over top. Her heart pounded a little. She rarely saw him in anything other than Brotherhood clothing, and he looked good. More approachable than usual. He had combed his hair differently too, and it flopped casually to the side rather than how he usually wore it swept severely back.

“Hey, Arthur!” Mrs. Cofran greeted him. Arthur shook her hand, and turned to Bonnie. “Did you want to go freshen up?”

Bonnie nodded and dashed off to the room to change.

***

A short while later, all four of them headed to the cookhouse for the big Christmas feast. There was no shortage of food, as this summer had been a good one for the whole Commonwealth. Danse was still not well enough for full combat situations, but he was perfectly capable of general patrols and scavenging missions. He and Nate had been put in charge of overseeing the settlements in the area, not just Sanctuary, and were usually busy organizing commerce between the various villages. As a result, people felt safer, there was more traffic, and fewer shortages of goods. There had even been some talk about starting up some of the machinery at the old Ironworks and the Corvega factory.

Dinner was over, and Bonnie was sitting next to Arthur while he chatted with Danse about something, when Nate came up to her and asked her if he could borrow her husband just for a moment. When she agreed, he plopped Shaun into her lap and left her alone, taking Danse with them.

They were gone almost a half an hour, and when they returned, they had several crates with them, which they brought in with a hand cart, and Arthur was wearing a red fuzzy hat with a white pompom on the end. His cheeks were rosy from the cold air, and he was laughing at something Nate had said, and Bonnie couldn’t help but laugh at him too.

“Alright, everyone,” Nate announced loudly, and the crowded room hushed.

“We were out at an old shopping centre and we found an unopened warehouse full of all kinds of stuff. They must have gotten their Christmas stuff in early that year, because it was so full, we managed to send shipments to every settlement in the Commonwealth. Everyone, line up!”

With that, Nate opened the first crate, and they began handing out goods.

The first box had several Christmas themed sweaters. They were… not exactly tasteful. But Arthur was a good sport and pulled one on over his head before handing one to Bonnie, who did the same. Nate and Danse got into the spirit as well. Arthur’s sweater was red, and with the hat on, he made such a sight that Bonnie fell in love with him all over again.

The sweaters were silly, but they were warm and of good quality, so they got handed out first. After that, there were several crates of toys, housewares, and tools. Nate and Danse gave out items to the adults, while Arthur found himself sitting in a chair and handing out toys to the children who lined up one by one to recieve their gifts.

Shaun was given a toy rocketship early on, and sat on Bonnie’s lap playing with it, but he soon grew bored with it and tossed it on the floor. She gave him a cookie, but he was still full from supper. The situation came to a head when a little girl tugged on Arthur’s sleeve.

“Are you Santa Clause?” she asked.

That was just too much for poor Shaun to take. He twisted out of Bonnie’s arms and shoved the other child hard. “No!” He shouted. “Dat’s uncle Artur!”

He then proceeded to climb into Arthur’s lap and stick his thumb in his mouth, glaring sullenly at the little girl, who sat on the floor, tears welling up in her eyes.”

Bonnie let the little girl choose a toy, which cleared up her tears pretty quickly, and then handed out the rest of the toys while Shaun sat on Arthur’s lap.

When everything was distributed, the crowd moved outside, where someone had started the bonfire in the centre of the court. Carols were sung, marshmallows were roasted, and generally speaking, a good time was had by all.

Shaun was handed off to Nate, who sat on a bench with Danse, whose arm was draped loosely over Nate’s shoulder, and Arthur smiled, happy for his friend and his family. He would never have imagined Danse as a dad, but it suited him. Shaun was a sweet child, and Arthur was very fond of his nephew. The boy was lucky to grow up with so many people who loved him.

Eventually Nate and Danse retired with the boy, and soon after, Arthur noticed Bonnie yawning as well. They said their goodnights, and headed towards the house. It was already quiet when they arrived, so they crept to their room without waking anyone.

“Did you have a good time?” Arthur asked Bonnie.

“It was lovely,” she replied. Her eyes were shining.

“Are you tired, or would you like to open your gift?” he asked.

“You got me a gift?”

“Of course!” He dug in his bag and pulled out a soft parcel. She untied the string and opened it. It was a beautiful shawl. It was knitted in a soft, moss green wool, with cables and a thick fringe.

“This is lovely!”

“I sent to the Capital Wasteland for the yarn, and I had it dyed and knitted right here in the Commonwealth. It matches your eyes.”

“I love it, Arthur.”

“Well, your sweater is pretty worn out, and I never knew anyone who is cold as often as you are, so I hoped you would like it.” He often found her in their quarters wrapped in the blankets off of their bed. Arthur’s wife liked to be bundled up.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything as nice for you, Arthur. I do have one thing though.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,”

“Well I didn’t really get it, per se.” She took his hand and placed it on her belly. “How would you like to be a father, Arthur?”

His face lit up, and he picked her up and swung her around in a wide circle.

“I love you so much, my beautiful goddess!”

Bonnie blushed but she didn’t push him away. “I love you too, you big lug.”

They went to bed, and nobody else bothered them that night.

Unexpected Development - Chapter 8

Fic: Unexpected Development - Chapter 8 (AO3 Link)

Fandom: Flash Pairing: Mick/Len/Barry, Mick/Len (associated Mick/Barry, Barry/Len) Chapter 8 for Unexpected Development (Len)

Summary: “Sorry, kid,” Len says, sounding – and likely even being, knowing Len – sincere. “We gotta run, and it looks like you’re coming with us for a bit.”

“Oh crap,” the kid (Barry Allen, he said his name was) says.

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“Can you disarm the bombs in this area?” Len asks Charlie, nimbly evading the way Charlie keeps reaching out for his arm like he wants to link hands together. Like they’re on some sort of date.

Which – maybe in Charlie’s dreams. No way.

“I can do that for you, Len,” Charlie says, eyes shining.

“Good,” Len says. “I’ll go disarm the rest of ‘em in this area, tell the boys I’m double-checking them or something, and then I’ll –” ditch the hell out of you “– see what to do next.”

Charlie pouts. “I worry about you sometimes, Len,” he says. “You work too hard. Too much stress.”

“I thought you were supposed to stress meat,” Len says, because he can’t help himself sometimes.

“Only after it’s been prepared,” Charlie says indulgently. “See, this is why I like you so much – maybe we can discuss it at length later –”

Yeah, no.

Len makes his excuses to Charlie and then double-times it through his set of bombs – it takes barely any time at all, the bombs being almost pathetically easy to defuse – then head westward. He’s certain that Mick can keep an eye on Allen and Allen had definitely seemed smart enough to handle a few bombs; between the two of them, he can trust that that section will be handled, and Charlie – well, he doesn’t have to like Charlie to admit that, cannibalistic instincts aside, Charlie’s not totally incompetent. He’s certainly capable of handling the bombs, and he has no reason to double-cross Len.

Besides, Charlie knows how Len deals with people who double-cross him. He wouldn’t dare.

At any rate, the bombs are even more stupidly made than he’d hoped they might be. It has to be a Flash trap: even if the Flash wasn’t particularly expert with bomb defusing techniques, a voice in his ear could walk him through the basics - sure, there's a whole lot of them, but he could disable them all if he ran at top speed, or maybe a little faster, which fits in with Len's theory about it being about getting the Flash to go faster.

Len wonders for a moment how Mr. Banana knows that the Flash would have access to someone with the right expertise. Well, they probably went up against each other and Flash talked to his earpiece the way he had the first time Len had fought him, but bomb-defusing experience seems like a specialization that you wouldn’t think a hero would necessarily think to have on his team. As quick as the Flash is, Mr. Banana’s left him a hell of a short time frame to find an expert if he didn’t already have one.

Something to think about.

Now, however, is not the time to consider such questions. Len’s got a city to keep intact.

After all, this is his city.

The good part about the tunnels on the west side of the highway is that they extend out from where the raised central portion of the highway, under the mostly deserted slum buildings just adjacent to it. The tunnels go up until they’re basically nearly at surface level, under the highway and next to the buildings, so a bombing here would be bad but not catastrophic – far fewer structural supports to knock down.

Still, he’ll be damned if a single squatter loses his life to some stupid hero-obsessed villain. Not while Len’s around, no sir.

He makes it to the tunnels, which are already deserted – the people assigned to come here have already planted their bombs and gotten the hell out of dodge, which is fair – and he’s listening to the countdown clock in his head that tells him he has plenty of time, but he barely takes two steps into the main space when there’s a gigantic boom like thunder and he’s suddenly thrown back against the wall.

Ouch.

Okay, when did he end up lying on the floor? He doesn’t even remember that happening.

Len’s head hurts, and there’s dust everywhere. He’s a bit dazed, but not nauseous, which at least means he’s not concussed.

What just happened?

That couldn’t have been a bomb going off already: there was no heat. He's been Mick's partner long enough to know that much about explosions.

And also…

“I tawt I saw a puddy cat,” he says, blinking concrete dust out of his eyes and absolutely mangling the impression. “Or at least I think I saw Tweety Bird.”

He pushes himself up on his elbows painfully and sits up.

Len’s not in the tunnels anymore; or rather, one of the tunnels is now open to the sky, but not because of the dead bombs that lie scattered on the ground. And they are quite certainly dead, he can see that; these bombs have been ripped apart and their pieces scattered everywhere. They’re never going to grow up to be nice big explosions, and won’t Mick be sad about that? But they definitely aren’t the reason that there was now a big hole in the wall under the highway, letting the evening light – half fading sunlight, half glowing streetlights – shine in.

There’s another cause for that.

Len’s never actually seen Mr. Banana before, but there’s no doubt that the man standing before him, vibrating so fast that the air around him shivers like an optical illusion, is the one.

“Holy crap –” Len says.

Mr. Banana raises his head proudly and smirks.

“– that is the ugliest shade of yellow I’ve ever seen,” Len concludes.

Mr. Banana looks taken aback.

But seriously, damn. Tweety Bird would be ashamed to be associated with that color. Big Bird would teach the audience a very special lesson about embarrassment just to cover it. The Teletubbies would think it a step too far.

Len’s still a bit iffy on the whole ‘Mr. Banana’ name, but he’s got to admit that he can see the basis. He’d shoot him with the cold gun just on principle, except that it’s lying halfway across the street.

Len twitches a foot.

Looks like he's somehow got no other guns, either: not the spare he’d tucked in the small of his back or the secondary one strapped onto his ankle. Mr. Banana must have grabbed them when he’d rammed himself thought the tunnel wall like a human-sized super-fast sledgehammer and then threw Len across the room.

Probably doesn’t want Len interrupting him in the middle of his carefully planned out solo number. Len gets that.

Doesn’t mean he has to like it when it’s being done to him, but, well, he gets it.

Evil Overlord rules, you know.

(If Mick didn't want him to quote them, he shouldn't have given Len a copy for his birthday this year.)

“Well, well, Mr. Snart,” Mr. Banana says. His voice reverberates strangely. Vibrating his vocal cords, the way the Flash tried to do early on and then just sort of gave up on. Kind of adorable, actually. This guy clearly has more practice. “You have been an admirable enemy –”

“Have we even met?” Len asks, reaching for his pocket.

Mr. Banana smirks. “You don’t know me,” he says. “But I know you. I’ve seen the work you’ve been doing so far, and you've become quite an impressive adversary for the Flash despite not having any powers of your own."

Gee, thanks. Always nice to meet a fan.

"Unfortunately," Mr. Banana continues, lengthening his syllables into a disdainful drawl which is clearly ripped off from Len, "there’s a risk that you’ll interfere with my plans with the Flash, and that’s – what are you doing?”

“Texting,” Len says, typing on the phone he’s just pulled out. “Obviously.”

“What?!”

“I know, I know, I’m a bit old to be a millennial, right?”

“Put that away and listen to me!”

“Sure, mom,” Len says, clicking send.

There’s a burst of lightning.

Len blinks at the space where his phone was. His poor phone is currently being crushed to death in Mr. Banana’s hands. Mr. Banana’s mask is doing a poor job of hiding his irritation.

Len shrugs and pulls out another one.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mr. Banana says with disgust.

Len holds up the phone and sets it to record. “Wait, lemme get a pic before you destroy this one,” he says. “Don’t worry, feel free to monologue; I swear I’m listening.”

Mr. Banana seems to be contemplating destroying Len's phone again, and possibly adding some pain for Len into the mix in the process; he crosses his arms and glares death at Len as he considers how bad the pain's going to be.

“Lemme guess,” Len drawls, intimately familiar with how to distract people in that sort of mood. “‘Put that phone away this instant, young man, or I’ll kill you even more dead than I was already planning to?’”

Mr. Banana struggles with rage for a moment – his eyes do this thing where they glow even more red and start crackling with sparks of lightning a bit, very Sith-lord – before he manages to rein it and smirk.

“I suppose you have a point,” he says agreeably, in the way rich people do when they think they have the upper hand and decide that they’re going to be all generous about it, just to rub it in.

If he survives, Len is going to find this asshole’s house and rob it, just out of spite.

It can’t be that hard to find. Look at this guy’s preferred color scheme! Definitely one in a million – his house has got to be the most garish collection of no-taste rich-guy stuff imaginable.

Len bets he has a chandelier.

Len's totally going to Phantom of the Opera the shit out of it.

“So, what’ve I been doing that’s been pissing you off so much?” Len asks. “Sorry, I wasn’t actually listening earlier.”

That gets an actual eye-twitch.

He didn’t even know that was a thing real people did.

“Captain Cold,” Mr. Banana says. “Your exploits against the Flash are impressive –”

“What time?” Len inquires, quite seriously. “The time I let his friends scare me off with a vacuum cleaner or the time he kicked my ass up and down the street? Really, I want to know; I’m keeping a ranking list on my wall and I can’t seem to decide which one should be number one.”

Mr. Banana probably thinks he’s joking, but Len really does have a list.

“They will be,” Mr. Banana says impatiently. “But I have decided that your interference in the Flash’s timeline is an unacceptable risk to my plans. As is such, regardless of my respect for you, I’ve decided to end your life. Are you listening now?”

Len’s brain processes the words that just got spoken, but he ends up with nothing but question marks and blue screens of death and gibberish. Nothing that just came out of Mr. Banana’s mouth makes any sense, but it also doesn’t seem particularly useful for the time being either, and therefore he’s going to put his questions aside for contemplation at a time when his life isn’t imminently in danger.

“You do realize I’m stalling for time, right?” Len asks instead.

He’s not too sure. Maybe Mr. Banana is like Charlie and thinks they’re having an actual conversation or something.

Mr. Banana smirks. “Your little friend won’t be able to help you –” he starts.

Len’s jaw drops.

Mr. Banana checks behind him. It’s a barely noticeable motion, but it’s there.

Ah, glorious paranoia.

Very useful – to the person trying to fuck with you.

“No, no,” Len says soothingly. “No ambush yet, relax. I’m just – that’s the first time anyone’s called Mick my ‘little’ friend. Have you met him?”

He gestures a bit with his free hand, a vague outline of ‘very large and intimidating man who is hardly little in any respect’. He adds in a 'if you know what I mean' gesture because really, Mick deserves it, and also it makes Mr. Banana look vaguely like he's bitten into a lemon.

Mr. Banana looks like he's going to say something - Len's really hoping for it to be a lecture on having some more class as a supervillain, he's always wanted to hear one of those - but speak of the devil and he appears.

Mick bursts through the tunnel entrance, heat gun at ready, but he’s still too far away to help if Mr. Banana decides to skewer Len. Allen’s at his heels, eyes wide in horror.

“No!” Allen shouts, even as Mick’s eyes narrow and take in the scene.

Len feels vaguely bad about that, actually. Poor, pretty little hostage – bad enough that the mission went south, but he shouldn’t have to see people who flirted with him die.

Assuming Len does die, of course. Len’s not quite willing to concede on that yet.

Mr. Banana’s face stretches into a smirk, like he was waiting for the audience to arrive for the grand finale.

There’s something’s ticking in Len’s brain.

Something he’s missed, though he’s not sure what.

Mick’d probably know in a minute; he’s always been better with people than Len, even if Len is better at plans and strategies and such.

Hell, Mick probably does already know – he’s been smirking it up like crazy the last few hours.

What is it?

“I do apologize, Mr. Snart –” Mr. Banana says, and Len’s been in enough fights – and watched enough bad movies – to know that Mr. Banana is gearing up for the final murder sequence, and all Len’s got is a bunch of bruises and no guns.

Oh, and his camera phone, still recording.

“–but I’m afraid our time – that is, your time – is up at last,” Mr. Banana says, eyes bright and his tone gloating. He holds up his hand and starts vibrating it as fast as a circular saw, which is a hell of a murder method if Len’s ever seen one, and he steps forward and –

His face when a lacey red bra smacks him right in the face is priceless.

And that would be the other ambush Len had planned via a little community chatting.

Len grins at his phone.

God bless the Internet.

AI poses risks, but the White House says regulators shouldn’t “needlessly hamper” innovation

President Donald Trump speaks while touring a computer manufacturing facility that produces Apple computers in Austin, Texas, on November 20, 2019. | Mandel Ngan/Getty Images

So far, artificial intelligence’s development has outpaced regulation. Now regulation has to catch up.

Artificial intelligence is here, and it’s impacting our lives in real ways — whether it’s the Alexa smart speaker on our nightstand, online customer service chatbots, or the smart replies Google drafts for our emails.

But so far, the tech’s development has outpaced regulation. Now, government agencies are increasingly encountering AI-based tools, and they must figure out how to evaluate them. Take the Food and Drug Administration, which greenlights new medical products: It needs to review and approve new health care products that boast AI-capabilities — like this one that promises to detect eye problems related to diabetes — before they’re sold to us. Or consider the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which investigates employment discrimination. Today, the agency must also make decisions about AI-based hiring algorithms, like those that screen job candidates’ resumes and decide whether or not you deserve an interview.

On Wednesday at CES, the prominent Las Vegas-based technology trade show, White House officials formally announced how the Office of Science and Technology wants federal agencies to approach regulating new artificial intelligence-based tools and the industries that develop the tech.

The White House’s proposed AI guidance discusses some of the biggest concerns technologists, AI ethicists, and even some government officials have about the technology, but the guidelines are centered most on encouraging innovation in artificial intelligence and making sure regulations don’t “needlessly” get in the way.

That reflects an ongoing problem for AI, one that’s already played out in other tech sectors, where a rush to innovate without much oversight has only come to back haunt us.

While encouraging innovation in AI is certainly a consideration, critics of the technology have said that regulators must scrutinize artificial intelligence more closely as it continues to be rolled out in the real world. They argue that artificial intelligence can replicate, and even amplify, human biases. These tools often function in black boxes — meaning that they’re proprietary and operated by the companies that sell them — which makes it difficult for us to know when or how they might be harming real people (or if they even work as intended). And new AI-based tools can also raise concerns about privacy and surveillance.

For now, these new guidelines are just that — guidelines — which means that today’s memo won’t have an immediate effect on the artificial intelligence tech you might encounter in your daily life. But the memo shows how the government is thinking about AI and its potential impact on Americans. “People should care that the White House is trying to bring a framework for assessing and justifying the deployment of AI tools, because what we’re finding as these tools develop and emerge is that there are some applications that have deeper consequences than others,” said Nicol Turner-Lee, a fellow at the Brookings Institution who researches technology and equity.

The Trump administration wants a national AI effort

Trump and his administration want the US to dominate the AI industry — and they definitely want the US to be better at AI than China. Early last year, President Donald Trump signed an executive order establishing the “American A.I. Initiative,” which is meant to jumpstart AI research and help build an AI-competent US workforce, among other goals (though he didn’t give the effort any new funding).

“Federal agencies must avoid ... needlessly hamper[ing] AI innovation and growth”

Outlining 10 primary principles, today’s memo to federal departments and agencies echoes the goals of that executive order. It urges regulators to be mindful of innovation and to “consider ways to reduce barriers to the development and adoption” of AI when weighing how existing laws and potential new rules apply to the emerging technology.

“Federal agencies must avoid regulatory or non-regulatory actions that needlessly hamper AI innovation and growth,” says the memo. “Agencies must avoid a precautionary approach that holds AI systems to such an impossibly high standard that society cannot enjoy their benefits.” At the same time, the guidance also urges regulators to be conscientious of values like transparency, risk management, fairness, and nondiscrimination.

These are all fair points. By encouraging these federal departments and agencies to take action, the Trump administration also hopes to avoid a future in which American AI companies might face a patchwork of local and state regulation, or possibly overreaching federal regulation, that could impede the technology’s expansion.

AI experts told Recode that the AI guidelines are a starting point. “It will take time to assess how effective these principles are in practice, and we will be watching closely,” said Rashida Richardson, the director of policy research at the AI Now Institute. “Establishing boundaries for the federal government and the private sector around AI technology will offer greater insight to those of us working in the accountability space.”

Aaron Rieke, the managing director of the technology rights nonprofit Upturn, said in an email to Recode that, for now, he doesn’t think the memo will have much influence: “I do not think these principles will have much of an impact on the average person, especially in the short term. I think regulators will be able to justify their decisions, good or bad, without much effort.”

Importantly, the memo doesn’t actually apply to artificial intelligence that the US government itself uses (of which there’s plenty). For instance, a search of a US federal contracts database shows that the Centers for Disease Control has purchased facial recognition products (an AI-based technology), while the Department of Commerce appears to be using AI to improve its patent search system.

One of the reasons AI needs regulations: It comes with risks

AI systems are not inherently objective. Humans build these tools, and AI is often developed using flawed or biased data, which means the technology can inherit or even magnify human biases like sexism and racism. For instance, when in 2017 scientists taught a computer program to learn the English language by mining the internet, it ultimately became prejudiced against women and black people.

Critics say that risk means the government should aggressively regulate, and even ban, certain applications of artificial intelligence. And some AI tools, like facial recognition, that rely on collecting sensitive information, have also spurred concerns about how this tech could potentially create privacy and surveillance nightmares.

“AI systems have a potential to discriminate against the American public on the basis of race, sex, gender — every sort of criteria imaginable”

This all matters because AI already has the potential to have a real impact on your life, even if you haven’t realized it yet. Some landlords have floated requiring tenants to use facial recognition to enter their homes, even though the technology is known to be less accurate on people of color and women (and especially women with dark skin), among other groups. Another example: Though never used, a resume-screening algorithm produced by Amazon inadvertently discriminated against female applicants because it was trained on resumes the company had previously collected, which mostly came from men. Imagine losing out on your dream job because of a biased algorithm.

“AI systems have a potential to discriminate against the American public on the basis of race, sex, gender — every sort of criteria imaginable,” Albert Fox Cahn, an attorney who leads the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project at New York University, told Recode. “This could impact everything from whether you get a job offer, whether you get approved for an apartment or a mortgage, whether you get the good interest rate or the bad interest rate. It could impact college admissions and school placement.”

That’s left him disappointed with the new proposed guidelines. “Rather than provide a framework for regulators to actually address discrimination head-on, instead the White House is urging a hands-off approach which will allow AI to simply target historically marginalized communities without the interventions we need,” said Cahn. He said the memo’s references to values of nondiscrimination and transparency don’t have much force behind them.

“When you think of where most consumers are more AI-vulnerable, it’s in those areas like housing, health care, and employment — the areas that primarily make the front page of the newspaper,” said Turner-Lee. She said it’s not clear what the memo will mean for agencies like the Department of Labor and Consumer Financial Protection Bureau as compared to, say, the Department of Agriculture.

She adds that it’s also not clear whether agencies are actually prepared to identify the risks AI tech poses, or if they’re up to the job of ensuring their regulations keep pace with innovation. “There’s a lot more of the devil in the details that I’d like to see, but I think they’re just trying to give us a general framework for some kind of ethical and fair deployment.”

Now the White House wants feedback, including yours

The draft guidance isn’t set in stone. For the next several months, it will be subject to public feedback, including yours (we’ll update this piece with how to do that as soon as the information becomes available). Once the guidance is formally approved, the White House expects that agencies will report back on how they plan to meet its new AI expectations.

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