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keigosbirdie · 3 years

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FEMALE READER VERSION

Of all Hawks’ secrets, you are the most well-kept.

Version: Female Reader version | Male Reader Version Links: Gifset (art only) | Mood Music

NIGHTHAWK Rating: Explicit | Word Count: 13k | Art: 14 animations, 2 stills (Technically no spoilers, but if you aren’t caught up on the events of the manga you’ll be missing important context. The fic takes place after Hawks’ meeting with the commission.) Synopsis: Casual was the word you used when you first agreed to sleep together. As weeks turned into months turned into a year, those quick and dirty nights blossomed into private moments that earned him little pieces of you. Warnings: Dom!Hawks, Nurse!Reader, animalistic behavior, rough sex, quirk/feather play, light bondage, biting, praise kink, hurt/comfort, secret relationship, talk of past lovers, mentions of death, panic attacks, PTSD, mention of a past, non-canon event. Spicy, then bitter, then sweet.

There was nothing exceptional about your life from an outsider’s perspective. You lived in an apartment on the outskirts of Jaku City, unmarried and childless. During the day you attended medical school where you studied for your doctorate. During the evening you worked as a nurse in the intensive care unit. Then, when you were home, you sat alone for dinner at a kitchen table meant for two.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

For the past year, however, an occasional tap at your sixteenth-story window would break up the lonely monotony. The tap was quite a scandalous secret, not that anyone would believe you if you let it slip. Even you still had a hard time accepting the bizarre reality of the situation; but it was real. Just as real his voice, which you could hear echoing faintly through your apartment.

You glanced up from your lukewarm dinner and dropped your fork. For a long moment, you sat in silence, listening intently until you heard it again. It was him; it was his voice. Your heart pounded against your ribs as you shoved out of your chair and jogged to the window. The part between your curtains opened, but when you peeked through you saw only the glow of city lights below a blanket of darkness.

A frown found your face, and a sigh spilled past your lips. You heard his voice; you would never mistake it for another. It echoed casually against your dim walls again, and you turned your head towards the sweet sound. The television was on in the living room. Your heart dropped at the realization. The little square thing sat on your end table and taunted you with his image.

There he was. Hawks, the winged hero, being interviewed by a woman in a pantsuit. It wasn’t often he did interviews, so you left your dinner to go cold in favor of watching the program.

He was dressed in his hero costume, his visor lifted to rest atop his blond, wind-whipped hair, and his scarlet wings folded politely against his back. A wide grin graced his face as he exchanged charming banter with the woman. She seemed enamored with his expression, but she didn't know him like you knew him. He was smiling, yes, but the edges of his eyes were crinkled with tension. When he chuckled, his wings folded a little harder against his back. His beats of laughter were calculated. Uncomfortable, that's what he was.

He’d been that way a lot lately.

"So, I'm sorry, I have to ask- Every bachelorette in the country is wondering, is there any special lady in your life?" the interviewer asked. It was airy and friendly in intent, but your lip twitched with faint annoyance anyway. Your face fell slack and you leaned back into your chair.

"Well, I don't know about every bachelorette," he quipped. His face was a little grainy on your old TV screen, but you could see the slight pink in his cheeks. He was cute. So, very cute. It made you miss him that much more. "But my personal life, well, how alluring would I be if I didn't keep a few things a mystery?"

And a mystery it was, to everyone but you.

Thankfully, the woman interviewing him had enough tact to know when to move on. Their conversation mercifully veered away from his sex life—your sex life—and towards his agency. The television was a wondrous thing. His voice rang through your home despite his absence. It brought sadness, but also a bittersweet comfort. Viewing him live stung your soul. You watched until his interview ended with a commercial break, and then decided not to wait up for him again. That would only lead to another sleepless night.

Still, the window remained unlocked for him as you called it a night. The yellow glow of your desk lamp died with a click, and you climbed into your bed. Sleep was always difficult. Many nights you laid awake as you thought about your ICU patients. The things you saw in the ward were enough to scar anyone. But if it wasn’t work that plagued your mind, it was him.

Casual was the word you’d used when you’d first agreed to sleep together. It was easy to swallow when he only snuck into your apartment at night for sex. For the first few months, that was it. He’d steal into your home through the cover of darkness and you’d share a violently passionate night. Then, he would vanish out your window until he craved you again. Which, thankfully, was often.

As weeks turned into months turned into a year, however, those quick and dirty nights blossomed into private moments that earned him little pieces of you. You realized you were in too deep when it became difficult to be unbothered by the casual daydreaming of others. His face was clipped to girls’ backpacks long before you knew him, but others, covered so openly in his merchandise, began to make you a touch bitter. His sex life had been speculated about in tabloids since his debut, but to keep your mouth shut while your friends contemplated the size of his penis became hurtful and emotionally taxing.

The only one you could confide those pains in was the man who unintentionally caused them, but Hawks was too sweet. If he knew just how much it tore you up, he’d surely break things off to spare you the misery.

You cursed yourself for getting lost in thoughts of him. Bemoaning the casual chatter of others as he gracefully balanced the weight of the world on his shoulders made you feel weak. You allowed your eyes to close, your breathing slowed, and your body relaxed into your mattress. By the mercy of whatever god watched over you, sleep slowly overtook all your other thoughts.

At least until a shuffle and a squeak made you toss in your sheets. A faint light spilled into your room from the window, and a coolness settled into your bed. You shivered. It was the fresh winter air from outside. The cold wasn't the only intruder. It was him.

The light was dim, but a dark silhouette of flared wings blocked out the moonbeams. Your heart lurched in your chest at the dominant display. It was a habit of the bird in him to fluff up when his blood was hot. His predatory energy kept you submissively silent rather than greet him.

Floorboards creaked beneath his shoes. The pulls of their zippers clicked with the movement. His breath was heavy as he moved to your bed. You caught a vision of your lover’s face. Little flecks of snow followed in. They danced around the brilliance of his wings and settled into his hair. In the blue light of winter’s night, his gold eyes looked dazzling. They also harbored a glint of violence akin to the blown-out eyes of a predator in pursuit of prey.

It was a familiar look from the strange animal. He’d seemed so open and friendly when he’d first snuck into your hospital room to talk, but he shrugged away at hugs and only laughed awkwardly when you told him he was your best friend. He didn't understand that kind of closeness.

You’d learned how deep his discomfort ran through him when the relationship became sexual. His inept understanding of touch translated to violence in the bedroom. Sex was most comfortable for him when he thought of it as a battle. He'd hold you down and force you open. You'd dig teeth into his arms and rip out feathers with your fists. To submit to his pounding was capture, but to overstimulate him until he was too weak to hold you down was victory. Extreme? Perhaps to those who didn’t understand your trust in one another.

He'd at least offer a sappy hello before he pulled his dick out, though. Not tonight. He eyed you as if expecting you to run, as if he'd give chase if you decided to. Fuck, it caused the warmest tingle between your thighs. You’d missed him too badly to try to put up a fight.

He left his jacket abandoned on the floor, which offered a much better view of his slim body wrapped in his black bodysuit. His canines dug into the leather of his glove before he yanked his hand free with his teeth. You laid silent and already breathless. It'd been far too long since you last felt him. Your body was hot with need at the sight of his rigid wings alone. His eyes swept over you as he toyed with the front of his tan jeans. He didn't come very often in uniform. To watch him fondle himself through his costume was- god, was there a stronger word than ecstasy?

“I want you,” he said from your bedside.

"You can have me..." You breathed out. It was intended to sound sultry, but your tone was more akin to a pleading whisper. Your body ached for him before your heart did, after all. Old habits were hard to break.

"You've been waiting for me, like a good girl, haven’t you?" he cooed. Cooed, quite literally. A low and rumbling song reverberated from somewhere deep in his throat. Not a bit of you was avian, but your body reacted instinctively when you heard your mate's call.

"I should reward you."

His visor glinted in the dim light as he pulled it off his face and let it land on the floor. His earmuffs, too.

You bit down your grin as the weight of your mattress shifted under his knee. His ungloved hand neglected the bulge in his jeans to tend to you instead. Warm fingertips slipped beneath your covers and found the skin of your thigh. A small sigh spilled from his lips, and your body trembled.

"You missed my hands on you, didn't you?"

You only managed a nod as his fingers slid up and beneath your pajama top.

Your body sank deeper into your covers when he moved over you. One knee landed on either side of your hips. His bare hand played with your breast while the still gloved one ran through your hair. The leather of the glove was frigid from the cold, but his body radiated warmth. The sweetness of his cologne mingled with the harsh musk of sweat. The smell of him fogged your mind.

The pads of his fingers pinched and tugged at the pink bud he discovered on your chest, which earned him a harsh gasp.

"That's it. I love it when you sing like that," he chimed. His hot breath ghosted over the shell of your ear. Wefts of his hair brushed against your face as his teeth nibbled at your throat. You were trapped beneath the cage his body made.

"These cute little tits of yours- god."

He wasn't usually so chatty when he was about to mount you, but every grumble that reverberated in his throat added to the tingle between your thighs. He could devour you whole and you would thank him for the honor.

Your hands slid up the sides of his tight bodysuit. The inky black fabric was harsh beneath your fingertips. You traced the patterns of its gold accents around to his back and up towards his wings. He stiffened when he felt you slide nearer to them. Between the plush feathers at the base of a wing, you wiggled a finger until you found the skin beneath. Then you gave the joint a brutal squeeze.

Instinctively, that glorious wing of his outstretched and shivered. The stems of his plumes flexed against your hand as they puffed twice their usual size. The longest of them brushed against the ceiling of your room, dwarfing your bodies beneath it.

You were always in awe of the sheer size and beauty of them.

"F-fuck. Not fair," he growled, and then his teeth sunk hard into your neck in vengeance. The harsh bite only made you desperate for more, so you fisted his feathers in your hand and gave a sharp yank. He gasped a hot breath into the nape of your neck. Fuck. You couldn't take the teasing anymore.

Your hands relieved him of their cruelty to pull off your shirt. He faltered when your bare breasts were exposed. His golden irises became thin rings as the darkness of his pupils devoured them. The tip of his glistening tongue wetted his lips.

It was your turn to stare with sharp desire as you heard the click of his belt, then the pull of a zipper. You pushed yourself up to get a good view of him working his dick out of his bodysuit. The throbbing muscle hit him in the stomach. The sensation made him hiss between his teeth, and you whimpered in reply.

"Hhm, you must be really hungry, the way you're staring at it," he mused before he spat into his palm and ran the wetness along the shaft. He quivered at the sensation. You quivered, too.

"Please." Your cheeks were flushed, and your chest quaked with desire. "I want to feel it, please."

"Oh, don't worry. You’re gonna have all of this. Gotta get that pretty little pussy ready for my cock, though, don't we?" he hummed.

He reached into his plumage and pulled out a long, red feather. The thing wriggled between his pinched fingers as he presented it to you. The way it moved was unnatural, but you timidly took it in your grasp. The look on your face must have been telling of your confusion because he chuckled at your expression. He gave no direction. Instead, he watched with a mischievous curiosity as you turned it in your palm. The barbs vibrated independently of one another against your skin.

Your breath heaved when you realized why he had given it to you. His hands slid down your stomach as a pair of red feathers brushed against your sides. They dipped into the hem of your shorts, then pulled the fabric, sliding them down your legs until you were deprived of them. The cold from the open window seeped into your most sensitive places as his hands caressed your hips.

His fingertips stopped over a series of divots and deformities in your flesh. They were painful mementos of the night you met, and reminders of the sacrifice you had made for him a couple of years prior. He was a stranger when you chose to forgo your own survival to shield him from death. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth as he relived the agony with you, but placed kisses all over the scars. It felt like a plea for forgiveness, so you ran a loving hand through his hair.

A soft sound spilled from him, and then his head dipped down to drink in the sight of your bare body. You were naked beneath your shorts, so he hummed through gritted teeth when he teased your legs apart. He'd seen it all many, many times before, but the sight of your glistening pink sex brought about his cooing again. The sound was a deep and beautiful melody unlike anything you'd ever heard, but also purely sexual. It was his body's call to yours. It beckoned you like a siren.

“No panties, huh?” he murmured. His breath hitched and vibrated with his lustful song. “You’re already so wet, my god… how about you put that feather of mine to use?”

He sat back on his haunches. Those narrow eyes bore holes into your exposed body as he spat another thick glob of saliva onto his palm. His hand found his cock. His eyelids fluttered at the contact and he groaned softly as he pumped around it. His eyes drank your every movement.

You spread your legs for his gaze and then brought the pulsing feather between your thighs. He could feel through them, in a sense. The thought alone caused you to exhale a soft moan, but it was anything but soft when the vibration teased your sex. He groaned, too, at the contact.

Your body flexed and wiggled when you pressed it hard against your clit. The sensation made your eyes roll back. Your slickness dampened its vanes despite its semi-hard state, and your hips ground into the pleasure. He observed. His hand pumped faster with each desperate whimper his feather worked out of you.

It wasn't long before he couldn't take simply watching anymore.

The roughness of his stubble dragged along your breast as he closed his teeth around one of your pink buds. He suckled, and your fingers tangled in his hair as his feather jolted from your grasp. It worked your clit without your help, and hot air blew from his nose as he jerked himself off. You used the distraction to sneak a hand between your bodies. You wanted the hot skin of his cock against you. You wanted to touch and play; to taste and feel. A thick whimper spilled out of him when you ensnared his throbbing dick in your palm and squeezed.

His feather stopped pleasing you.

"I didn’t give you permission to touch, did I?" His wings flexed. The feathered limbs grew massive as their quills stood on end in a frightening display. They were beautiful and plush, but deadly weapons all the same. “Testing me, huh? You're that desperate for my cock?”

Yes, fuck yes you were. You opened your mouth to reply, but your voice cut out when he grabbed you by the wrist. He jerked your hand away from his sex, and you whined. Usually, you were a bit of a hardass. It wasn’t easy to make you crumble, so he looked so devilishly proud of himself when you’d submit beneath the weight of him.

His teeth bared in a deliciously appealing smirk. "I’m gonna have to do something with these hands of yours if you’re gonna grab at shit without permission, yeah?"

You nodded a little too eagerly. His voice was heavy and deep with a depraved need to dominate you. To sully your skin with his desire. You weren’t going to stop him.

A cluster of feathers gathered in the air around you. You had nothing to fear, but watching them circle like small predators overhead made your heart pound against your ribs like a drum. They swarmed you and ensnared your wrists. The strength of his quirk easily had you overpowered. Your hands slammed into the headboard, pinned down by his feathers which trembled with excitement. You were now at his mercy.

“You’ll get your hands back when you’ve earned them,” he informed you through gritted teeth, but you were so mesmerized by the features of his face you hardly heard his words. Beautiful, that's what he was. You'd never told him how his appearance left you breathless. It could scare him away if you said such sweet things too often, but you’d held your heart back for so long it only felt fair to let it beat this once.

“You’re so gorgeous,” you whispered.

He trembled. His eyes widened in startled confusion, and then his cheeks dusted the faintest shade of red. God, that only made your heart thump harder. His did, too; you could feel it rattle through his chest and against your stomach.

"What was that?"

You bit your lip, embarrassed, but echoed the statement a bit more sheepishly. "I said… you're gorgeous."

Your mattress groaned as he folded back onto his knees. The flaming red limbs on his back lowered until they rested against your sheets. Something about that sweet little compliment tore into him like nothing you had ever said before. That desire that flickered behind his eyes blazed out of control. His kisses landed on your knees before he placed a gentle caress of his lips on the innermost part of your thigh. So close to your pussy that the heat of his breath made you slick.

His other glove was abandoned somewhere on the floor, which rendered both his hands bare. A low groan spilled from him as he pressed his thumbs into either side of your heat. His jaw went slack and his breath erratic as he spread you open.

"So are you," he said, but it was muttered so softly you almost didn't hear.

His head dipped down. The tendrils that framed his forehead fell over your midriff as his tongue caressed your twitching flesh. The hot, wet muscle lapped hungrily between your folds. It flicked at your clit, and your legs trembled on either side of his head. His mouth working you open like that was enough to fog your mind entirely.

“You like that?” he cooed between the slurps of his mouth against you. "Oh, I bet you fucking do."

You replied with only a strangled whimper as you tugged uselessly at the feathers that bound you. You were desperate to comb your fingers through his downy hair, to fist it in your hands and press his face hard into you. A low chuckle flowed from his open mouth and tickled your flinching flesh. Another cry tore from your throat.

“My poor baby, so desperate,” he sighed after placing a kiss against your clit.

His poor baby. He hummed that phrase with such possessive intensity. He was right. Even if it was unspoken, you and your body belonged to him and him alone.

The warmth of his palms traveled back up your stomach and squeezed your breasts roughly. “Forcing you to wait so long for me, did I neglect my sweet little Chickpea? Hmm, I better make up for it, huh?"

God, the way his husky voice reverberated against your flesh was the most delicious form of torture. You bit your lip and nodded, and he rewarded you with a finger. It slid carefully into you, and his hand caressed your insides. You cried a loud, indecipherable string of mangled words. All grasp on language left you as he curled his fingers up and flicked his wrist.

“Aw, what are you trying to say, Sweetheart?” he huffed. All the little nicknames only pushed you further into your need for him. “You wanna feel my fat cock push into that pretty little pussy?”

A sharp inhale burned your throat.

“P-please!” you choked. Your voice was cracked and pitiful when it finally tore from you, and a wonderfully wonton sound fell from him.

“Please what, huh? Please what?” he gasped.

“Fuck me! I want it- I want your cock- PLEASE.”

“Ohhhhh, that sounds so pretty comin’ outta your mouth,” came his long, low growl. As a reward for your begging, he dragged the wetness of his tongue along the length of your little pink slit.

The rough material of his jeans slid down your inner thighs as he mounted you. The shaft of his hot, bare cock pressed flush against your sex. Clusters of his feathers bunched behind the bends in your knees and forced them back, which splayed you helplessly open. You watched as he bit into his lip and rubbed himself against your wetness. You couldn't look away as the most intimate part of his body sheathed itself in yours.

The most delicious pressure overwhelmed your aching senses. Fuck. FUCK. He moved slowly. It may have been meant as mercy, but to your sex-starved body, it felt torturous. The ridges of his dick caught at your swollen walls before the tip of it pressed agonizingly slow into the bottom of you.

“Hawks! Oh my god, I can’t fucking take this!” your throat jerked and trembled just like your aching thighs. Your hips pumped in desperation for friction where your bodies connected. “Give it to me, give it- I swear to god- FUCK!”

Once you gave him control of your body, he lost control of his own. The mattress groaned when he slammed into you. His teeth dug into your throat, laying his claim on you as he panted for breath. His loose belt buckle beat at your outer thighs, and your bed frame groaned in protest with each merciless thrust. His hands dug into your flesh and locked you into his jarring pumps. He pinned you down as if he expected you to play the fighting game, but you didn't resist his cock this time. You didn't want a battle. You wanted your lover. Your moaning whimpers broke and cracked as his jerking hips rocked the wind from you.

He pounded into you too fast for your mind to keep up. Your scarred body buckled and stung under his animalistic need, but the shockwaves of pleasure that rolled through your core kept you begging him for more. More. More.

His mind was so fogged that he lost his focus on his feathers. The clusters binding you down came loose without his influence, and you easily pulled out of them to throw your arms around his neck. His wings spread out and bristled until they were pressed against the walls, puffed and massive. His forehead was against yours. His hot breath puffed in your face, and his beautiful body was pleasured with yours.

"Fuck, fuck! Please- Let me come inside you," he pleaded. His eyes were hazy and fogged, his mouth was slack and face a deep red. His body’s cooing song was so loud you could feel it in your own chest. The familiar smell of his cologne intermingled with the musk of sex and blurred your mind. You wanted every piece of him he'd give you.

"Y-yes, please, please," you begged between the hard smacks of his skin against yours.

Your eyes shot open as his pace quickened. His wings… they were falling apart. Those beautiful eyes of his lulled further into the back of his head with each bone shivering slap of flesh. His teeth bared and his lips twitched as he pressed your bodies roughly together. Shivers rolled through his muscles, and those fierce wings of his were reduced to twitching little nubs on his back as he came.

You ran your hands between his shoulder blades as you marveled at his feathers. They littered the air as they weaved feverishly around one another. The gentle touch of your hands brought Hawks down from his high, and his feathers slowed until they lazily spun like autumn leaves. You pulled him down into a tight embrace and buried your face into his hair. He heaved into your chest, and you watched all the little pieces of him flutter around your room in the light of the moon.

He often lost control of his wings when you made love. They'd fluff up and flap wildly when he came, which often knocked shelves from your walls and your lamp from your bedside table. That was the first time he shed his feathers, and you were in awe.

"Are you okay?" he asked. His voice was gravely and shuttered between labored breaths.

“Yeah, I’m just... admiring," you said as you stared over his shoulder. He glanced behind him, and his cheeks tinted the faintest shade of pink when he realized the pitiful state of his wings. The little red feathers spread all around your room stilled in the air and swarmed to his back, returning his iconic limbs to their full glory.

“Er, you managed to pluck me. How embarrassing,” he quipped. You were so sore and exhausted from his sex all you could manage was a little laugh. You were a gasping mess, though, when he finally pulled out of you. The loss of pressure was a relief, but it also left you feeling empty. You laid quiet and trembling as he leaned back to marvel over the mess he made of you. His thumbs spread you open again, and he let out a breathless moan as you felt his come leak from you. His head dipped between your thighs. That beautiful tongue of his flicked out and lapped at the mess on your pussy. The warm wriggling of the muscle shocked your swollen clit and made you cry out, but you couldn't bear to ask him to stop. It satisfied something in you to watch as he licked you clean of your slick and his own come.

When he was content that he'd cleaned you thoroughly, he laid his body carefully beside you in your bed. His fingers tangled in your hair as he locked you into a kiss. You could taste the sex he licked from you on his tongue.

The sex was always feverish and ravishing, but the afterglow was your addiction. In the beginning, it was rare. To kiss and caress crossed the line into his discomfort, but the more he learned to trust you the more of his affection you earned. The man who feared human touch began to ask for hugs every visit. Kisses became frequent and pleasant the more he let you do it. Then came sex that felt less like vicious wars and more like making love. Yes, after everything you did to earn his intimacy, nothing felt as lovely as lying naked beneath his plush plumage.

His feathers caressed every inch of your aching body. His warm mouth, still wet from the sex, pressed gentle kisses onto your face. Your head rested against his arm as your breath slowly steadied. His wing flexed and rested on your shoulder as if tucking you in beneath a plush comforter.

“Mm. You like that?” he pondered breathlessly. His fingers trailed up your scarred side until they combed through your hair. There was a ginger softness to the touch that made your heart quiver. He smiled at you, those yellow eyes pierced through the dim light and into your soul. as you reached your hand out to run your fingers under his jaw.

“Do you need to ask?” you hummed. Your cheeks were still red and your chest quaked as you slowly came down from the high.

He laughed. What a lovely, airy sound. You hummed in the glory of the moment. And, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, you could breathe again. Typically, he’d spend his days off kicked back on your living room couch with a tall bottle of something hard in his hand. You’d go a week or so without seeing him when things got tense in the hero world, of course, but in the last two months, you’d had him for only a handful of nights. It was concerning, but you knew better than to ask. No matter how close the two of you had become he would never talk to you about work.

“It's been a while since you last flew in,” you noted as you got comfortable beneath his plumage. His body beside yours was the definition of comfort. Your mind could only be at peace when he was safe in your bed. “It’s nice to see you again, I was worried.”

“I know, it’s been too long. No need to worry, though, Chickpea, I’m right here,” he replied. His slow exhale tangled in your hair, and his hand's gentle touch found your cheek. He offered no explanation for his lengthy absences, but he and his crimson wing caressed you with apologies.

You relaxed to the sound of his steady breath through the dim blue light of your bedroom. The wing he draped over you was so plush and warm you could easily fall asleep. You might have, if not for the fear of waking up without him. You scooted closer to wind your arms around his chest and bury your face in his neck.

"I really wish you could stay," you whispered.

To let your love get in his way was the last thing you wanted, but it was the utterance of a moment of weakness. It was uncharacteristic of you, the pathetic way it sounded, and you felt him stiffen under your arm as he soaked in your request. While there was never a confession of love, you'd tamed the wild bird with years of patience and earnest affection. He was loyal to you. It was cruel of you to ask for something you knew he couldn't give.

“Ah… I would if I could help it, you know that,” he sighed into your forehead, “but I can try to stay until morning.”

“Please. I’d like that.” It came out like the voice of a frightened child, but it was difficult to hide your need for him anymore.

If you dwelled any further on the possibility of him vanishing, your emotions were going to get the better of you. You played with the feathers draped over your shoulder to calm yourself. A small one by your face was pinched between your fingers as you rolled the barbs around.

"Your wings are filthy," you mused. Dirt particles littered the poor things. You were sure, with some rooting, you'd find a few bugs he’d picked up in the air, too. "Actually, all of you is filthy. You got dirt all in my sheets, bird brain."

"Oh. Shit, my bad," he murmured as he sat upright. You shivered when the warmth of his wing left you.

"Hm, it's fine. Throw your clothes in the wash and I'll get a shower ready for you, sound good?"

“Sounds good.”

The bed creaked in relief when he stood. His frame was slender and small, but his wings at least doubled the weight of him. That was evident with how smothering being beneath him could feel. He kicked off his pants, though his body was still covered by the black and gold bodysuit he wore beneath them. It warmed your heart to see him carry his uniform out of your room and hear him tinker with the washer on the other side of the wall. The sound of the cloth being tossed inside followed by the creak of an opening cabinet seeped through the drywall, followed by the pop of the detergent lid coming off.

He was intimately familiar with your tiny abode. You’d made sure things stayed in the same place so he'd know where everything was the next time he'd visit. You'd been especially anal about it since he'd often be gone for such long periods at a time. When he returned, you wanted your home to feel like it belonged to him, too.

A sensation overcame you as you laid alone in your bed. The sheets were warm from the love you’d just made. Despite his tongue cleaning you off, you could still feel the faint warmth of him inside of you. His contented sigh found you through the wall and your heart burst.

To the rest of the world, he was a hero, but he was so much more to you. You'd give anything to have him completely. For his voice to echo, groggy and sheepish, against your walls every morning. To get to kiss him goodbye before the sun rose, and to welcome him home every afternoon with a warm embrace. For a ring on your finger; a crib in the bedroom. That wasn’t the kind of life that was meant for him, though. As long as he was afraid of you being hurt, those secret nights were all you’d ever have. It made sense. He had enemies, and you could only imagine how your quiet life would turn upside down if you ended up in the pages of a tabloid.

You only spent time together in the privacy of your apartment. Even after two years of being close to him, there was so little you knew about his life separate from you. What little you did know only made you frustrated on his behalf. You held out hope that it could eventually change, for your sake and his.

Preening Hawks was your favorite thing to do with him. There was something special about being across from one another in the shower, naked, warm water rushing over your bodies as your fingers smoothed and placed his dampened feathers. It took the first year of your friendship for him to allow you to touch them at all, so it was an obvious display of his trust in you. Which was understandable. His wings were an integral part of his identity. You watched as he ran his hands over his face and into his hair. His expression was in a relaxed state of bliss as your fingers picked through his plumage.

With his massive wings on either side of you like plush, padded walls, it felt like nothing in the world could get you. His laughter echoed around the small room as he told jokes and stories. It was okay if you didn't have anything to say, or if you just wanted to listen. He would talk for you when you fell short, and that's usually what got you laughing.

Through the gentle moment, though, you couldn't help but let your emotions get the better of you. During times like those, when his visits were few and far between, your mind danced around the question of why. The possibilities bounced between him either being in danger or losing interest in you. Both were scary thoughts since he had become such an integral part of your life.

"Would you mind if I ask something?" you pondered, which accidentally interrupted a story he'd been telling about an intern of his.

"Depends what it is.”

"Well… there are a million girls out there who'd gladly do this with you," you mused, and it was true, even if it stung a little to remember. "Did you decide to do this with me because it was convenient?"

That had been your reason, initially. Hawks spent a lot of time hanging around your apartment and he just happened to be wildly attractive. There were no feelings when he’d first asked if he could fuck you. That didn't come until later.

He laughed, and you glared at him.

“Self-doubt, huh? That isn’t like you. Me being away a lot’s really shaken you up, huh?”

"It's not self-doubt, I'm just genuinely curious," you quipped as you pulled a feather from his wing. They'd moult if they hung around too long, so pulling out the loose ones was a help to him.

"Well… what we have going on is far from convenient," he said. "If that's what I was going for, I'd go after a pro that could keep a secret. It ain't easy to sneak away like this, you know."

So even a pro hero would have to be a secret for him? Did Hawks have any chance at all for a normal life?

“I wanted you, and if I want something, I go for it.”

You swallowed down a breath you’d been holding, but you didn’t say anything else as you watched his eyes dance around the bathroom in thought.

"And I wanted you because… well, there were a lot of reasons. The night we met was a big one, I guess.”

You looked away. That night felt taboo to mention, considering all the guilt you knew he harbored. Your scars weren’t his fault. Several villains were on a rampage, and your hospital was in the destructive path. You were just another civilian, caught in the crossfire. His feathers tried, but they couldn’t get you out of the building. You’d been partially crushed beneath the rubble.

“I was sure it was the end of the road for me. It would have been if you and your quirk hadn’t been trapped inside with me. You have a forcefield. You could have used it to protect yourself, but you bubbled me instead. You were gonna die. I was so sure you were gonna die and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.”

Still, your lips wouldn’t move. You’d spent ten months in an ICU after you were crushed beneath the weight of two stories of concrete. If not for the healing quirks of EMTs, you wouldn’t have survived at all. If not for your sacrifice, Hawks wouldn’t have, either. Still, it wasn’t his fault.

“Still hurts to know I couldn’t help you when you needed me most, but when I looked in your eyes, there wasn't a hint of fear. All I saw was determination. I never met someone who was so sure of their choices, even in the face of death," he recalled. Your emotions skirted between sadness and flattery as you heard his thoughts. If only you could live up to that selfless picture of you, now. “I know a lot of pros who could only hope to have that kind of resolve.”

“Damn, when you tell it you make me sound like a badass,” you quipped, and your laughter bounced around the shower stall.

“I mean, what are the requirements to be donned with the title of badass? I’m sure you’re overqualified. Either that or you’re fucking crazy, which is also a possibility.”

You snorted.

“I'm not crazy. My job is to help people after they've been hurt. If I bubbled you instead, I’d be saving every person you’d live to protect. Before they would need a nurse like me. It’s just what made sense.”

He was silent for a moment as he absorbed your reasoning. You tended to be rational, even in the most emotional of situations. But that borderline-robotic way of thinking was a by-product of your own miseries.

You were a nurse in a world overcome by demigods and treachery. Some of the things you'd seen in the OR would haunt you for the rest of your life. And, sometimes, those ghosts came to torment you in your dreams. That made it hard the first time Hawks slept in your bed. You would sometimes wake with tears in your eyes as your voice quivered out sobs. Your past lovers didn't understand that part of you. The broken part. The part that had been poisoned by the darker side of this superpowered world.

That's what fostered your love for Hawks. When he had awoken early that morning to you crying beside him, he’d only reacted with a patient embrace. He adored the bright parts of you, but he also had a solemn understanding and respect for your darkness. Having that connection through your mutual suffering was a kind of bond you’d never had before him. And now that you had it, you couldn't imagine life without.

You went back to preening. You pressed up on your knees to reach a bit higher on his wing, and he watched intently. His voice died into silence as his gaze swept over your naked form, which dripped from the steam of the shower. It wasn't a surprise. Often, he would get lost in himself as he observed you, like a curious bird. It felt like a wordless compliment, so you silently allowed his eyes to explore you. Not that his hands and mouth and cock hadn't already drawn a map of you in his mind.

"Whatcha thinking about?" you teased playfully, and he hummed in response.

"How you look at my wings… I like it."

"Everybody looks at your wings," you said dismissively. A half-smile graced your face.

"You’re right. They do. People admire me because of what they’re capable of. It's what people think of first when they think of me, and rightfully so. They're hard to ignore. But when you look at me, you look at my face first, my wings second. It's like you admire them because they're a part of me, not because of what they can do. I appreciate that."

Your fingers in said feathers slowed to a stop as he spoke. You smiled a little to yourself as you brushed them against a feather. He shivered. "Your quirk is a part of who you are. That's why I like cleaning them for you. It feels like I get to give you something special, but wings or not, I'd still want you."

Falling in love with Hawks was the best and worst thing you’d ever experienced. The pleasure of those beautiful moments seeped into your soul like a warm cup of tea. But the anguish that followed after he flew out your window… there wasn't a simile that could correctly describe the immeasurable pain.

Your response must have triggered a long series of difficult thoughts for the bird. His head tilted slightly, his eyes hardened in expression and his brows furrowed as he soaked in your confession.

"In the year we've been doing this… has there ever been another man?" he pondered. The question jarred you. Occasionally, he'd get a touch possessive of his time with you. He’d asked a time or two who you were texting. You knew him well enough to pick up the hint of jealousy despite his light tone, but he never asked anything so outright.

“Well, look who's got self-doubt now. You sure are eager for a lot of questions and confessions tonight. What’s gotten into you?” you asked.

He shrugged. “You asked a question, so it's my turn now. Besides, we’ve been close for a couple of years. We've been intimate for half of that. just seems a little silly to keep up the fuck buddies act. Or is it just me?”

Fuck buddies act? You bit your lip. Hard. When he was with you he was so relaxed. This seriousness was unusual, and it made your wet skin rough with goosebumps.

"It's not just you," you confessed.

For a short while, the bathroom was filled with only the sound of the running shower as you collected your confession.

"There hasn't been another man since you. I mean… I've gone on dates a few times, but it never got that far," you replied. The moment another man kissed you… Well, kisses felt dirty if they were with anyone other than Hawks. "I know this thing you and I have going on was meant to be a no strings attached kind of affair, but… Well, if I’m being honest with you, it feels wrong trying to sleep with anyone but you. I like what we have, and I've always got the impression that you really do, too."

He didn't say anything. You weren't sure whether or not that was what he wanted to hear.

"Have you?" you asked. "Been with anyone else?"

You’d never asked before. At first, it was because it didn't feel like your business. Then, when the thought eventually made your heart ache, you didn't ask because you didn't want to know. But now that you had come clean, it only felt fair that he did, too.

Air left his nose and his head bobbed back until his wet hair pressed against the shower stall.

"Once,” he confessed, and he sounded ashamed now that he knew you never did. “I used to have this on again, off again thing, before I knew you. I messed with her a few weeks after you and I first… well, you know. But only once, then never again.”

You’d thought it would crush you to learn he’d been with someone else, but it didn’t sting like you thought it would. Probably because you didn't know specifics. If you knew what woman had her hands on him, if you could see it, it probably would destroy you. But the apologetic way he said it put your heart at ease. He mumbled like he knew it would hurt you, and he didn’t want it to. But you weren’t wounded, and your feelings weren’t perturbed. He never promised you anything, just as you’d never made promises to him.

“Why’d you stop seeing her?” you asked as you scooted closer to smooth shampoo suds down in his hair. He only shrugged at first, then sighed in contemplation when your fingers combed along his scalp.

“I’ve never had a place I could go to, you know?” he said. “I’ve never had somewhere like this, where I can lay my head for a little while and just be…”

“Pampered?” you suggested as your hands moved to massage his shoulder blades between his wings.

He breathed out a little laugh, but shook his head. “Yeah, but that’s not what I was thinkin’.”

“Out with it then,” you teased.

“Well… I’ve never had somewhere I’ve felt safe and... cared about?” he said, though his eyes were distant and lost when he said it, as if he wasn’t sure he should have.

“I gotta always be looking over my shoulder. Gotta always have a mask on and hope no one ever sees through it. But here, everything’s relaxed. You couldn’t care less what my ranking on some chart is or how much money is in my pocket. You don't give a shit about heroing or the tabloids. You’re the only person in my life who asks for nothing other than my company. I feel human here. I didn’t want to jeopardize that, or what I had with you. That’s why I stopped seeing her.”

Your mouth went dry. While your nights were long and passionate, you’d never whispered sweet nothings. You’d never told him how much he and his company meant to you because you felt he wouldn’t want to hear it, but he kept coming back. For a year he had clung wordlessly to what little affection you gave him. If he’d told you this a year prior, you would have given him so much more love.

“So you do have deeper feelings for me. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He was silent, as you’d expected him to be. He both craved and feared the closeness he’d formed with you. At times he’d drown you in sweet little bits of affection, but, when things got too deep, he would shut down. Through the last couple of years, you’d broken through a lot of his walls, but the cold influence of the commission would always be with him. Even if he was in love with you, he’d never understand how to tell you.

"Because of who I am when I fly out your window,” he began. The reverb of his voice against the shower stall took you off guard. You didn’t expect him to answer. "There are things I know you want from me… things that I can’t give you right now, and you deserve more than that. That’s why I never planned on telling you… Fuck. It was never supposed to be like this…”

He spoke more to himself than he did to you at that moment. There was an internal battle going on in his mind; one you'd never really be able to understand, but you wanted to try.

"You mean you never meant to get attached?"

His silence was telling.

"It's okay," you said. "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." You took a hold of his hand, but he flinched away from you. He was regressing back into old habits. It had been months since he’d last recoiled to your affection. Something was terribly wrong. The recoil was fine. It was okay. Whatever he needed to feel comfortable. "I'm sorry-"

"No, I'm sorry," he interrupted. He rubbed the wrist you had touched as if you'd burned him. His brow was knit and his mouth became a harsh line. "Sometimes it feels easy and other times it doesn't, but I'm trying."

"I know you are. Like I said, we don't have to talk about feelings."

He stared at you, and the longer his gaze rested on your face, the softer it became, "I want to try."

You nodded and wrapped your arms around your naked knees. The shower had been turned off long ago by a cluster of his feathers, but the soothing steam still lingered around you.

“It's just… this is difficult. One day someone may shoot me out of the sky. The thought of you still being right here, waiting for me, when I can never come back… It... kills me." He paused, his eyes hazed over as he swallowed his emotion down. The rawness in his voice struck such an unpleasant chord that your own eyes pricked with bitter water. "That's why I didn’t want attachments like this. But I didn't mean for all this between you and me. You snuck into me slowly, I didn't even notice until it was too late."

"Is this supposed to be flattering? It sounds like you're likening me to a parasite or something- heartworm," you quipped in an effort to dispel the heavy tension. He smiled, but only for a moment before he rolled his eyes at you.

"Just… listen to me," he said, and your eyes trained on his as your mouth closed. "If that ever happens… If there comes a day you've been waiting for me, only to find out I'm never coming back, please know that I cared for you."

He didn't use the word love, but that's very much what he was trying to convey. In a way, you’d kind of always knew. It was why he’d said it, how he’d said it, that made your eyes prick with tears at their corners. The thought of what he was implying petrified you. Hawks was so skilled, so powerful, so almighty. Despite all his power, though, he was human, just like you. The night you’d met proved how possible death was for him. Nothing could keep him safe forever, not even your forcefields.

But he’d never talked like this before. He was always so light-hearted and relaxed. His work and the dangers associated with it was off the menu of conversion topics. What had happened to bring all this darkness up now?

"You talk like you’re preparing for death."

Again, he didn’t reply. His silence was more terrifying than anything he could have said, but trying to pry him open would only break him, it seemed. So you didn’t.

“May I kiss you?” you asked instead.

He nodded.

You leaned forward and breathed into his ear. He shivered when you placed a gentle kiss on the shell of it. His earring pressed against your lip was a gentle and familiar feeling, but after you heard all he had to say it also felt fleeting. He always had some ulterior motive or hidden reason for every little thing he did. It's as if he said all this because tomorrow would be the day he was gone.

“I’m not preparing to die.” Your kiss gave him the courage to speak. "I have too much to live for. It’s just always a possibility- for anybody, really. But heroes especially. I just wanted it off my chest is all."

He smiled at you, but you’d seen every smile in his repertoire, and this one was faker than your stick-on-backsplash. The air never felt so tense between you. Not even the night you met, dying feet away from each other. It all felt so… heavy. The weight of it pressed hard into your chest.

“Er, this reminds me, while we're on topic, I got some things going on at the agency. I hate to say it, but you won't see me again for a little while. I don’t know how long. It could be a couple of months.” His disposition remained fake casual. His shoulders and face were relaxed as he enjoyed the steam of the shower, but his wings tensed. You felt it in your palms as you preened him.

"You're in trouble," you said. Your mouth went dry as the realization drained the color from your face.

"Trouble? Me? Nah. Just work stuff."

He spoke with a relaxed air about him, but he couldn’t lie to you.

"No. You've been acting off all night. You’ve been making all these confessions. Talking about death, telling me you're going away for a while. I know you better than you think I do; something big happened and you're trying to tie up loose ends in case you don't get out of it okay," you rambled, and the more you talked the higher your voice became. It trembled and wavered with building fear.

He stared at you. That silly face of his melted into a thin line and sharp, angular eyes. Those tricks worked when no one was close enough to see through them, but you knew his genuine smile like the back of your hand. You saw right through his facade, and he was annoyed by the very determination he just prided you for.

"Can't get anything past you, can I?"

You didn't whimper, but your eyes became glossy with emotion. It was a strange mixture of panic, sorrow, and rage. You had no idea what he'd gotten into, but you also knew he would never tell. He placed preserving missions above all else, which made sense but was frustrating.

"I don't know what's going on, but you need to get out of it if you're thinking it's something you may not come back from."

"Things aren't that simple. I chose this life, I gotta follow through."

"No, I chose to be a nurse when I was sixteen and understood the implications of what I'd have to go through. You were fucking six when the commission took you, and they spent all that time gaslighting and taking advantage of you-"

"We aren’t talking about that right now, don't use it against me.”

"Use it- what? I'm not using anything against you! You’re the one alluding to death! There’s nothing wrong at the agency, there’s something else- something terrible-"

"Drop it.”

“How can I?!”

"Because I said so." His eyes were narrow and mouth a tight, thin line. You could read him so well. He was regretting this. All of this, because now you were onto whatever suicide mission he was embarking on. But, as his lover, how could you just sit back and silently watch him throw himself into a danger that had even him shaken?

You got louder, and he got louder. You tossed bitter, confused words back and forth until he was screaming. Until you were screaming back at him. Your calm, laid back demeanor slipped through your fingers the moment you realized he could be in over his head. That, if you let him leave, this could be the last night you’d ever spend with him. Your anger was driven by your fear for his life, and his was driven by your inability to let it go.

He was still screaming. You were still screaming. You were fighting him. He just told you you were the most important person in his life, and you were spitting venom.

You stopped.

He stopped.

Your hand came to your bare chest as it heaved in an attempt to steady your breath. The other came up to wipe the tears budding in your eyes. He looked away from you, his brow tugged heavily downward, his jaw clenched together in shame.

"Let’s just breathe, okay?" you pleaded.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," you whimpered into your hand. "Out of everyone in the world, you're the last who needs to say sorry, so don't. It's just- it's not right, okay? You're too… I don't know, selfless? I watch all the time as that gets taken advantage of. Doesn’t it get tiring? Even your name is some dirty secret. I've been sleeping with you for a year and I don't even know what it is-"

"Yes, you do," he argued, his lip wavered with weakness for one vulnerable moment. "You know me- you know my name."

Desperation laced between his words and strung the sentence together. It wasn't easy to see your lover look at you that way, just begging for you to let pieces of him go. It was hard to accept it, but whatever name he went by prior to heroism didn't exist anymore. Neither did the once innocent child it belonged to. You tried to respect that, but it was unfair he was denied a basic human right: to have a name.

"You're Hawks, I know, I'm sorry… it's just… how much is left of yourself that actually belongs to you? How long until there’s nothing left to give? People have taken so much from you that you’ve become numb to it; do you even know what you're missing out on? Do you even know how lonely you are? When’s the last time anybody even asked if you were okay?"

He realized, then, that you weren't angry at him.

You were angry for him.

His eyes shifted to yours, and he nibbled at his bottom lip before he muttered with the quirk of his mouth: “Well, you ask me that pretty much every time you see me.”

There it was. The crack in your voice. The crinkle of your nose and the tremble of your lip. You cried, and he sat there across from you, still bare as his wings lowered to either side of you. His expression didn't change, and, for once, you couldn't read it. You didn't want to be so upset, but knowing he was in some kind of dangerous trouble that shook even him was too much for you to bear.

"I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. It’s just… Do you have any idea how many heroes I've wheeled into the morgue? People die on my table all of the time. Every time is just as hard as the last, but the heroes- those are the ones that destroy me. Because every time someone in a cape lands on the table I know their families are waiting for them at home, just like I wait here for you.

"I saved you once, but you're so far away from me, too far for my forcefields to reach you. Hearing you say you’re going away- all I can think of is coming into work one day and finding you c-... covered in a sheet."

His wings moved up from the shower floor. The feathers were dark with dampness as their joints pressed into your back. You sat there like that as he let you cry. Really, what else could he have done? What else could you have done? Of course you were angry. You would be for the rest of your life over how his panned out. His childhood was taken from him, his understanding of human affection was still stunted, even after all the time you spent gently undoing what damage had been done. Now he talked like one wrong move would end it all.

"It's… difficult," he began, though he couldn't make eye contact with you. He usually couldn't when you had discussions like this. "Being a hero isn’t what I imagined I would be when I was a kid. And sometimes I do ask myself: 'what is this all for? There's always going to be a new bad guy. Why does it matter?' And then I think about you…"

He went silent for a moment; you could see the little battle behind his eyes. The battle between his affection deprived confusion and his need to be closer to you. To explain himself.

"I think about you and it reminds me there are good people who are worth fighting for. As long as you are here and there are bad people out there that could hurt you, I have to be out there, too. And, yeah, sometimes I get afraid. But as long as I have these wings, I'm going to use them to keep this world safe for you."

He’d never felt so close to you, and yet so far away. He thought even more of you than you anticipated. A part of you felt touched you'd become a cornerstone for his sanity in such a hostile world, but the other part felt sick. If he wanted to fight for you, that was fine.

But to die for you; that would be unforgivable.

The urge to argue the worth of his life weighed heavy on your heart. If you did, he would call you hypocritical, considering your own history of self-sacrifice. It wasn’t the same, though. His self-worth depended on his usefulness to others and little else, and you feared the day that usefulness ran out. What would Hawks be, if not a hero? It should have such a simple answer, like what you would be if not a nurse. But it didn't. It never would.

You leaned forward to pull him into a tight hug. Perhaps when he was anywhere else you were unable to protect him, but right there, in your arms, you'd use whatever you could to keep him safe. Your bubbles, your kind words, anything.

"I understand," you said, because you knew there were no words that could keep him away from the hero path. It wasn't just a part of his identity; it was all he'd ever known. "Just… don't forget when the heroing is said and done, you'll always have a place here if you need it."

He hummed a small, contented coo at your kindness. Of course, you didn't have to tell him that. He already knew. Why else would he spend so much of his precious little free time cuddled up to you?

"I'll remember," he promised as his arms and damp wings curled in to squeeze you against him.

You and Hawks bathed in the comforting darkness of your bedroom. Your window was frosted from the bitter cold outside, but his body heat kept you warm in the safety of your bed. Or nest, rather, as Hawks tended to construct mounds of tangled comforters and wadded up bedsheets to hide in as he got comfortable. You were buried beneath the mass of cloth and the cocoon of his wings as you tried to fall asleep. It was a difficult undertaking since you didn’t know when you’d see him again. You were so tired, but you wanted to be awake to hold him for what little time you had left.

You wouldn’t have gotten any sleep, anyway.

Often when Hawks slept in your bed you'd awaken at strange hours. Sometimes this was due to your own nightmares. The subject bounced between the traumatic things you’d seen at the hospital and the night you’d met. You'd wake to find that you’d encased your bed in your protective bubble during your sleep, and Hawks' wings squeezed you gently against his chest. Other nights, it was Hawks' anxiety that would keep you awake.

During the day, his guard was discreetly up. He carried carefree conversations as if unbothered, but those well-trained feathers of his were on constant guard. Really, he never had a moment to breathe. This was something you never would have understood the depths of if you weren't woken by his anxiety in the midst of the night. The anxiety he kept bottled during the day often let itself out in the form of night terrors. He'd mumble. Roll. His wings would twitch over you. His face would morph into an agonized expression, and he chirped in distress. A good, gentle shake was usually all it took to pull him out of the bad dream.

That night his nerves reared their head, though in an unorthodox way. Apparently, you did fall asleep, because you awoke with a small grumble when you felt the mattress groan, followed by a heavy weight draping over your body. You let out a long whine of displeasure, but the weight just got heavier. You turned your head and opened your eyes to find Hawks, but he wasn't gasping in his sleep. He laid over you, wings puffed but flat on either side of your bed as he stared at the bedroom door.

"Hawks? You're squishing me."

He didn't answer or turn to look at you. Those sharp eyes of his danced around in panic, his feathers raised as they sensed every small movement in your apartment. You dropped your head back onto your pillow with a sigh.

"What's the matter?" you pondered.

"Shh," he hummed. "I felt something…"

You laid and listened for a short while, but all you could hear was the lady in the apartment above you walking across her floor.

"It's my neighbor."

"What if it's not?"

Whether the display was the primal instruction from the bird in him to protect his mate or if it was a by-product of the harsh reality of the life he lived, you weren't sure. Either way, his calm and almost lazy facade cracked. When the world was quiet and his feathers could sense every mundane movement in your apartment, his anxiety that those small bumps in the night might be something that could hurt you overwhelmed him.

The little display was an annoyance to your sleep-deprived brain, but his first thought in the midst of his worry was to protect you. That spared him from your groggy wrath.

"Lay down, McNugget. There's no one there," you grumbled, but he didn't turn his head away from the door.

Feeling your hand on his face seemed to snap him back into the moment, even if just a little. He leaned into you and encased you in his wings. It felt like a protective gesture, but the warmth you found beneath them made you hum pleasantly. The fluffy white cloth of his hoodie rubbed your cheeks as he cuddled into you. Well, actually, it was your hoodie.

At one time it was just some old thing you'd snagged from a thrift store on a chilly day. It was much too large for you, though. When Hawks came into your life later on, you'd cut holes out of the back and hemmed it up. That way he'd have a little something to throw on when it got chilly at your place. He never said it out loud, but he loved the thing. He'd go looking for it if you didn't leave it laying out in the living room.

"I know you usually have a lot to be afraid of, but you don't have to worry about protecting me. I'm a badass, remember?" you whispered into the shell of his ear. His shoulders relaxed just a bit, and he puffed out a little chuckle.

"Yeah, I know. I just… I want you to be safe. That's all."

Your gaze softened, though he couldn't see it in the darkness. You didn't need Hawks to protect you. You didn't need a hero. You needed a best friend; a lover. Between the both of you, he was the one in most need of saving.

"Shh," you hummed gently. Your hair lifted from your pillow and danced slowly around your face as if gravity was lost to you. He scrunched his nose as your locks brushed his cheeks, and his wings settled flat as a ring rose from the floor around your bed. The translucent wall came together above your bodies to form a hard, bubble shell.

"You've been the hero long enough. Let me be the protector tonight,” you said. His throat bobbed against your shoulder as his arms wound around you. He settled, but you still felt his unease.

“What’s got your feathers ruffled?”

“You shouldn’t have to protect me,” he said. His voice was muffled since his mouth was pressed into your skin, but you still heard the sadness in it. “I should be taking care of you.”

You blinked as you soaked in his words. For a year you pined for such romantic things to come out of his mouth. Of course he’d wait for a night like that night to say such sickeningly sweet things. The future that used to feel so full of mystery and excitement had become dangerous, uncertain, and disappointing.

“You don’t have to be the hero every time,” you replied.

“But if I’m not a hero, what am I?”

His question was an echo of your fears. The ambient light from your window filtered dimly into your forcefield, but your eyes couldn’t adjust with tears in them.

“I don't know if I have the answer you're looking for, but... Do you remember when I was in the hospital?" you asked. "When you first came to see me you brought a twenty-piece box of chicken nuggets, and while I was trying to eat one you laughed until you were crying because it looked vaguely like a penis.”

“Vaguely? It had balls and everything,” he recalled, and you rolled your watering eyes.

“Whatever. It was stupid, but it was the first time I laughed since I was trapped in that hospital. And, well… when they said I’d never walk again you helped me out of bed. I cried myself to sleep some nights, but you were there, still trying to save me. You were trying to be a hero then, too, but you became my best friend. If nothing else, that's what you’ll always be to me.”

A sound came out of him akin to laughter. You shot him a look, then hooked your finger under his chin. You wanted to see his dumb grin when you berated him for poking fun at you. When his eyes met yours, though, they weren’t crinkled with laughter. They were red and watering.

“Oh, Hawks,” you breathed, and he tucked his face back into your arm to hide his vulnerability. He never cried before. At least not in front of you. He was always the immovable one, virtuous and strong. Moments like this reminded you just how human he was beneath it all.

“I’m right here. I’ve got you,” you assured him in a whisper. Gentle promises spilled from your lips like lullabies, and he clung to every word with heart-breaking desperation. You whispered every sweet nothing you could think of to ease his pain, but you didn’t have that kind of power.

You had no power at all.

His world always seemed scary to you. You feared for his life every day, but the thought of him being ripped from your arms overwhelmed you that night more than it ever had before. The protective bubble that encased your bed would keep him safe for as long as you could fight sleep, but what of the morning? You’d be safe at home, and he’d be lost somewhere in the dangerous fray of his duties. Far away from your warmth and the apartment he found so much comfort in.

This would not be the last time you held him. You had to believe that, but what if it was? What if this sleepless night was your last together?

Tell him you love him, you thought to yourself. Tell him before you never get the chance again.

You bit your lip as you felt his trembling breaths on your collar. You prepared your lips for the taste of the confession, but he was so vulnerable, more so than he may have ever been before. He didn’t need you to tell him about your affections, he needed you to use them.

You placed a reassuring crown of kisses along his forehead, and he gripped you so hard his knuckles were surely white.

When you’d cried as a child, your mother would lay in your bed and sing lullabies until you fell asleep. Your voice was untrained and awkward compared to hers, but you tried your best to use it. Your off-key tune echoed back to you in the dome of your forcefield, and your cheeks pinkened with how childlike it sounded. Your embarrassment interrupted your lullaby. He stirred against your chest.

“Don’t stop,” he said. “Please, sing to me.”

You cleared your throat as you gathered the courage to start again. His eyes fell closed as your song settled into the safety of your shield. His feathers relaxed, and his face went slack as sleep slowly overtook him. You sang until his tears stopped flowing. You sang until he was asleep in your arms. For as long as you could, you laid awake. If you succumbed to sleep, so would your forcefield. So would your promise to keep him protected through the night. As time moved slowly forward, sleep inevitably began to settle into you, too. It was as terrifying and as peaceful as death.

“I love you,” you whimpered as you felt your eyes grow too heavy to fight back open. “Please… stay safe.”

Credits:

A massive thank you to my wonderful friend and editor, @fuwafuwagem! If you thought the fic looked especially polished, it’s thanks to her efforts!

Also a big thank you to my buddies and beta readers: @dendriticheep and @narcolepticroses! Thanks you guys for being such sweet friends to me ;u;

And a huge thanks to YOU, for reading !

Authors Note:

I’d love to do a lot more fanfictions like these! If you have any suggestions or requests for animations or animated stories like this one feel free to submit it to me!

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pen-paper-and-ink · 3 years

Text

Good Karma

Rowaelin Month- Day 5

“I accidentally hit you with my car”

The first time someone told Aelin that they had seen her boyfriend with another girl, she didn’t think much of it. He had girls that were friends, she trusted him, and she wasn’t the jealous type anyway.

The thing was, people continued to tell her that Chaol was seen out with other girls. In the beginning he had good excuses. That they were just friends, that she was his lab partner and they went out after a long day of studying. Stupidly, Aelin believed him.

That was until Aelin got a call from Lysandra. “Babe, I’m at the bar.” That much Aelin could tell. It was hard to make out Lysandra’s voice over the thump of the bass and the myriad of other voices. “Chaol’s here with another girl, and they look... friendly.” There was some more slurred speech, and some mumbles that Aelin couldn’t make out, before the voicemail ended.

With that, Aelin didn’t know what to think. Should she confront her boyfriend? Should she get more proof than a grainy voicemail left by a drunk Lysandra? Well it turns out she didn’t have to do either. The girl Chaol was with came to her.

Apparently, intoxicated Lysandra had enough presence of mind to question the girl in the bar bathroom. That was where Nesryn found out that Chaol had a girlfriend. Nesryn was nice enough, and very pretty. Aelin could definitely see why Chaol liked her.

Nesryn confessed everything to a pissed Aelin. It seemed Chaol had never mentioned to Nesryn that he had a girlfriend, and it was a nasty shock when she heard from Lysandra that the man she had been sleeping with for two weeks, was already taken.

Nesryn apologized before leaving, Aelin reassuring her that it wasn’t her fault, as she exited Aelin’s dorm room.

It was ten on a Friday morning, Aelin knew Chaol would be on campus until late into the afternoon. On a mission, Aelin walked out of her dorm and drove to her ex-boyfriends apartment.

When she first arrived, she thought about all sorts of things she could do to piss off the man who cheated on her. Switch all his coffee with decaf? Unplug his fridge so all of his food spoiled? Steal his flat screen, which Aelin always loved more than him, anyway.

In the end, she decided she wouldn’t do any of that. She would gather her stuff and leave. Just when she had placed the last of her belongings in her car, she got a call from the piece of shit himself.

“What?” Aelin snapped, more harshly than he was probably expecting. Besides, he wasn’t yet aware that Aelin knew he had been cheating on her.

“Hey…” He sounded hoarse. “Can you pick me up from the hospital, somebody hit me with their car.” Aelin couldn’t help it, she laughed loudly. This was the first piece of good news she heard all day.

“I would say to ask your other girlfriend,” She said when she had finally calmed down from her laughing fit. “But I heard, she already broke up with you.” Aelin promptly hung up, before he could protest what she just said.

Suddenly she was pissed again. How dare he cheat on her, then ask her to pick him up from the hospital. She drove back to campus through muscle memory alone, fury still clouding her mind. She was almost to the dorm parking garage when she hit something. Shit.

“What the fuck, Aelin?” Well, she hit someone and not something. This day could not get any worse.

Aelin put the car in park, and ran to the front of the car where a very annoyed Rowan Whitethorn was laying on the road.

“Shit, Rowan. I’m so sorry.” She offers him a hand, which he takes, as she assesses him for injuries. He seemed fine, if a little ruffled. She may have taken a little extra time looking him up and down, she would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy looking at him. Rowan Whitehtorn was the hottest man she ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. He stood at 6’4, had striking silver hair, piercing green eyes, and a dark tattoo that sprawled down his tanned arm in the old language. He was exactly Aelin’s type.

“It’s fine.” He brushed her off, cringing as he got to his feet. They had first met in history class two years prior. They worked on a group project together and Aelin got to experience first hand how smart and funny Rowan was. They collaborated well together, and he always put up with her teasing.

It turns out they had some mutual friends, so she saw him on occasion. It used to be a lot more frequent before she started dating Chaol, they used to be friends, now they were at most acquaintances.

Aelin knew him well enough to know his pain threshold was out of this world. She had heard from multiple people that he walked on a broken leg for two days before getting it checked out when he was a highschool football player. So she knew that Rowan cringing meant that he was in a good deal of pain.

“Get in,” Aelin said, slinging an arm around his waist as she helped him get into her car. He was leaning into her, it was worse than she originally thought. “We’re going to the hospital.”

She felt Rowan tense beside her. “Can we not go to the hospital?” He asked, his voice slightly strained.

She gave him a once over before making the drive to the hospital. “Why?” She asked, not taking her eyes from the road.

“Um, I may have thought you purposely ran me over.” Aelin couldn’t help but look over at him now.

“Why would I have done that?” Aelin asked exasperatedly, “And don’t you go thinking that that would get you out of going to the hospital.”

He chuckled nervously. “I may have hit your boyfriend with my car earlier today.” Aelin burst out laughing, this time a lot less bitterly than when Chaol had called to tell her he was injured. This was near joyous full bodied laughing, tears began to stream down her face, she was laughing so hard.

“Aelin? Aelin.” Rowan called cautiously. He was treating her like someone who was facing the gallows, it now made sense why he was unsure of her earlier. “Are you okay?”

“More than okay.” She finally replied, “And that’s ex-boyfriend by the way.”

“Ex-boyfriend?” Rowan asked.

“Oh, definitely ex-boyfriend.” Aelin was still angry, but nowhere near her blazing inferno of fury she felt earlier that day.

“I’m sorry?” Rowan apologized, although it sounded more like a question. Aelin just shook her head silently, silently telling him that he shouldn’t be. “Well I was starting to feel like you hitting me with your car was karma for earlier today, but maybe I shouldn’t feel bad.”

“You shouldn’t. I think the hottest man I know plowing down my cheating ex is some good karma, don’t you think?” Aelin asked cheekily, as they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

“I didn’t plow- the hottest man you know?” Rowan asked, finally catching up on what she said.

Aelin flushed and turned away, she hoped he hadn’t heard that part. Rowan put his hand over hers, drawing her attention back to his face.

“Now I definitely don’t feel bad, I think me hitting him was karma for cheating on you. I think you hitting me was fate.” Aelin rose a brow, wondering how the fuck getting hit with a car was a good thing. “The most beautiful girl in the world is taking me to the hospital, and I finally get a chance to ask her on a date after two years of waiting.”

“Two years huh?” Aelin asked, bringing her head closer to his. He brought their lips down, they were almost touching. She could feel his warm breath on her face.

“You had a boyfriend.” That was all he said before he kissed her. His lips were soft and warm, and she felt herself come alive in a way she never had while kissing Chaol. Maybe Rowan was right, this was fate.

They finally pulled away, catching their breath. “Let’s get you checked out.” Aelin said, as she made her way to help him out of the car.

Rowan placed a kiss on the top of her head as they made their way through the hospital doors, just in time to see Chaol being rolled out on a wheelchair. Oh, good karma indeed.

#Rowaelin month #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin galythinius #chaol westfall #lysandra ennar #tog #throne of glass #cheating #nesryn faliq

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dancingazaleas · 3 years

Text

𖨆. 07 / all for us

summary: it feels as if god is blessing you personally when levi decides to spare you. but as the day goes on, you can’t help but notice things and ask questions, some of which you didn’t ask.

note: why was this chapter so hard to write

taglist: @voltairelesecond @baelo80 @the-sun-baby @uniquepickle @ascybous @messyhairday-me @stupid-stinky @saturnalya @megumitodoroki @kouyume @quacksonlover81 @gipumar

word count: +3.0k

warnings/notes: cursing, mentions of murder, mentions of drinking and driving, vomiting, mentions of blood, mentions of ocd, the reader is confused

LEVI ackerman knew he wasn't a good person. he knew from the moment he watched his uncle slaughter a man in front of him at the age of eight.

levi knew the moment he killed a man for theft. he knew the moment people would cower before him in highschool when he'd walk through the halls. he knew the moment he was sucking the smoke from a cigarette into his mouth.

he knew the moment he found himself fighting police officers. he knew the moment he was pushed against the hood of a car with his hands cuffed behind his back.

he knew the moment when erwin smith sat down in front of him with no emotion written on his face. the moment when erwin said he knew levi had done it, but he would be defending him either way. the moment when levi disobeyed the oath as he spat out his testimony. the moment the gavel was slammed down along with the verdict of 'not guilty'. the moment he stepped into the sunshine, erwin's hand in his, for the first time in months, knowing damn well he didn't deserve it.

but levi didn't care, he never did. the world he was born into was cruel. he had to fight for his place at the top, for his food, for his clothes, for everything. if no one cared about him, then why should he care for others.

but as he stares down at you trembling from fear on the floor, he can't help but think that he's incorrect.

"please don't hurt me again," you plead in a whisper, tilting your head to the floor.

levi only sighs, walking in and shutting the door behind him. he crouches in front of you, hand now awkwardly stroking your head.

"what happened," he asks, and it's something that comes as a shock to you. you were slightly prepared for a beating.

you snap your head up to look at him in shock.

"what have you got in your hands," he points at the scrapbook held to your chest.

"oh!" you fumble to show him, "i saw this earlier... i wanted to look but i didn't think you'd allowed me. i'm sorry, please don't hurt me."

"i would've let you, i barely look at this thing anymore. can you tell me what happened now," he scoffs at the front cover of the scrapbook.

"when i was going to put it back, a book on the shelf fell. then another book on the top shelf fell off, so i used the lower shelves as a ladder. as you can see, it didn't work," you look ashamed while you gesturing towards the shelf.

he just huffs, "go sit on the couch. we can look through that book after i clean."

you obey and watch levi heft the bookshelf back onto its legs. his fists clench as he looks down at the pile of books surrounding his feet.

hastily, levi's picking up the books by the color and placing them back onto the shelf. when he's finished, he takes a step back to look at it. he's unsatisfied, instead more frustrated as he starts to take all of the books off of the second bookshelf he has.

but in the middle of taking the books off the shelf, he twitches and taps the book against the wood five times. he's putting the books back onto the shelf, going back to the other bookshelf and taking all the books off of that.

you stare in absolute bewilderment. the shelves had looked perfect and identical to you, not to mention clean. as he's in the midst of taking the books off the shelf, he taps the book against the wood again.

and with that, he's placing it all back onto the shelf again. he sighs in relief after he's checked everything, finally trotting to you and plopping down next to you on the loveseat.

nervously, you scoot closer to him in order for you both to be able to see the scrapbook. he watches you flip it open past his baby picture, instead turning to the page that showed his mother feeding him.

"that's my mom, kuchel," he gently rubs his finger on the photograph, "think i was around a year at this point."

humming, you flip to the next page. when you realize it's the picture of levi at his mother's funeral, you try to flip the page but levi stops you.

a sigh, he explains, "my mother always had a very weak immune system, according to my uncle. because of where we lived, we both ended up getting deathly ill and we were too weak to get any help. i had to watch her die and wait for someone to come check up on us."

"i'm assuming it was your uncle," you tilt your head.

"it was. he took me in afterwards, gave me food and a shower. he even taught me how to hold a knife and how to fight for future reference. he had some work to do while i would fight for food."

you point to the one of levi standing in front of a building. to which he replies with, "first day of kindergarten. my mother was still alive back then so she decided to take the picture."

he turns the page for you, a relieved look in his eyes at he stares at the next photograph. it's a picture of levi, in high school, wearing a tux while standing next to another man with a bubbly girl holding onto levi as she holds up a peace sign.

the boy, who's also wearing a tux, has ice blue eyes and wavy dirty blonde hair that obviously hasn't been styled. he's got a gentle smile on his face while he looks at both the girl and levi, someone who levi was obviously fond of.

the girl has dark red hair in low and loose ponytails with freckles painting her tan cheeks. her eyes shine an emerald green along with her pearly white teeth.

"that's... isabel and farlan. met them in 8th grade, and we were at junior prom in this. farlan took me as his date while isabel went stag. i'm glad i still have this picture."

you resist the urge to fight back the joke of his type in men, instead asking, "are you not friends anymore?"

levi stays quiet for a moment, "they died in a horrible car crash a month later. some asshole decided to drink and drive while driving a semi. rear ended them at 45 miles per hour and killed them on impact. isabel was slouching in her seat and farlan was hunched over the wheel apparently. it was gruesome."

"i.... i'm so sorry," you reluctantly touch his arm.

he waves his free hand up and down in dismissal, despite hurt he actually was, "it's fine. happened years ago."

he turns the next page in order to distract himself from the sheer awkwardness that bathes the room. the next picture is of him, around the age of 24, standing in the sunlight while he smiles softly to the sky.

"erwin was my attorney, before he became a prosecutor, when i went to jail. he proved me not guilty and this was the picture he managed to take of me right after we left the courthouse. it was the first time i'd seen the sun without handcuffs on in months," he huffs with slight annoyance at the memory, something that surprises you just a bit.

"why'd you get arrested?"

"nothing you need to worry about," telling you would only make you fear him more. and that would be a pain to deal with.

the next page after is blank, along with the rest that follow.

"i stopped because i thought it was stupid," he crosses his arms, nudging the back of the scrapbook with his knee.

"i don't think it's stupid," you shake your head, fingertips gently tracing the grainy and textured paper.

"why's that?"

"well," you smile a bit while your mind wonders to the scrapbook pieck made you one year for your birthday, "it shows you the good memories that you might've missed as the time passed. reminds you that there's something in every little small day. it helps you keep the memory alive, even if some of it is upsetting, and i think it shows how much you've changed as a person."

levi stares at you, slightly flustered at your words as you relook at the photographs with gentle hands.

he stands up, "i just remembered the tea." ah, a sound excuse. if only levi had made tea.

you watch as he seems to rush out of the room, something you shrug off while gently putting the scrapbook on levi's desk and laying back down on the couch. you play another movie on the television that hangs on the wall, perking up when levi walks back into the room with a tray. it holds finger sandwiches and some lettuce mixed with some fruit in a small bowl along with tea. cracked sunflower seeds sit on a small plate on the side, and you feel yourself droll when you realize at there's cheese, lettuce, and ham on your sandwich.

levi places it on your lap, simply nodding at your kind, "thank you, levi."

he doesn't answer and just goes back to his desk, while you chew quietly.

it stays that way until erwin comes home.

————

it isn't until your eyes are fluttering open that you realize you've fallen asleep. you flinch at the sight of erwin's face close to your's, but slowly relax when he pulls away.

"i'm sorry, i didn't think my kiss would wake you," he places a loving hand on your head.

"'s fine, probably needed to get up anyway," you reply groggily while rubbing an eye, "how long have i been asleep for?"

"levi said since a little bit after lunch. it's only three o'clock at the moment," he sits on the edge of the couch, smiling at how you shuffle to accommodate him.

"sandwiches must've been tasty.... did you just get off work," you sigh and snuggle up under the thin blanket that's been laid on top of you while you were sleeping.

erwin lays his large hand on your cheek, which has you tense for just a moment and then relaxing.

"i got off a little while ago but i needed to run errands," a thumb strokes at the apple of your cheek, something that you disgustingly find comfort in.

"where did levi go?"

"went to make himself some tea," he chuckles with a shake of his head, "he claimed that he felt withdrawals."

you shake your head while laughing, "i doubt he said that. how was work?"

"i guess i can say it was adequate. i missed you and levi the whole day, but would often get distracted by my clients and their necessities. i'm dealing with a kidnapping case at the moment. a girl around your age named ymir was recently found by her girlfriend, historia. i can't say anything more," he pulls his hand away from you and uses it to pinch the bridge of his nose.

you feel yourself get the chills.

he's.... working on a kidnapping case.

he's prosecuting.... a kidnapper.

he's punishing someone who's doing the same thing as him. someone who took away a girl and kept her trapped for months. god knows what the man did to the girl.

and here you are, letting erwin hold your cheek and looking through an old photo album with levi.

you feel sick to your stomach, shooting up while slapping a hand to your mouth and grabbing at her's shirt.

"i'm gonna throw up," you barely are able to speak without the feeling of your food coming out of your stomach.

startled, erwin stares, "what?"

"can... need a can," you gag and lean over the edge of the couch.

erwin gets up when he realizes just what it is you're asking for, rushing across the room only for you to spill your guts out onto the floor.

it's been forever since you've thrown up, minus when levi kicked your stomach, and it has your whole body shaking. the intensity of it all has your nose dripping with blood and tears falling from your eyes, forcing you to seal your eyes closed.

"what happened here," levi sounds scared as he stands in the doorway, but before erwin can even finish his sentence levi is slamming the door behind him while he storms out.

erwin sighs with frustration, helping you scoot down the couch so he can place the trash can in front of you without the bottom being dirtied. with shaky hands, erwin's pulling all of your hair out of your face while you sob and gag into the trash.

it's ten more minutes before you're able to lay back down. blood and tears stain your face and you dazedly stare up at the ceiling.

"i'll be back with a towel and some water, levi will be back soon with an avalanche of cleaning products," erwin reassurances while he stumbles out of the door.

just as erwin leaves, levi enters. he's got a mask that covers his nose and mouth and rubber gloves that match with his cleaning apron. he's carrying a sponge, some spray, a towel, a broom/dustpan, along with some breath mints.

levi squats on all fours, scrubbing at the floor aggressively as he rides the room of the stench and the stain.

"s... sorry," you croak and levi grimaces.

he ignores you in order to keep scrubbing at the floor just as erwin rushes in with a warm towel and some water. he wipes off your blood, tears, and the mouth to rid you of your vomit. you look at him dazedly as he helps you drink the water he's given you.

levi passes a few breath mints to you when you're done drinking the water, which you eagerly take. you plop them into your mouth, sighing as you rest back against the couch cushions.

"take her to her room," levi orders erwin while spraying the spray onto the floor and couch.

erwin does so in silence, carefully carrying you to your room and laying you on the bed.

"levi won't hurt me will he...? please tell me he won't," you grit your teeth while holding onto erwin's shirt sleeve, tears welling up in your eyes.

"no, he won't. he's just scared," erwin grabs the hand on his sleeve and holds it in his own.

"of what?"

"uncleanliness. a while after he started living with me, i took him to a psychiatrist as i had noticed strange behaviors. he ended up getting diagnosed with ocd, and the psychiatrist thought it had to do with his upbringing in poverty. if things aren't a certain way or clean enough, it causes him to spiral," erwin explains carefully, trying to find the correct words and meanings as he speaks.

"doesn't that... give him more of a reason to hurt me...?" you squeeze his hand tightly and pulling it closer to you in fear.

"it doesn't. why are you insistent at how levi might hurt you," he bunches his eyebrows up in concern while scooting closer to you.

"he's done it so many times before... remember? if i say the wrong thing... i'll get slapped. if i make a mistake, he'll beat me.. i just don't want to hurt anymore," you sob hysterically, bringing your free hand up to your face to cover your eyes.

erwin stares in bewilderment. he hadn't realized just how much levi's beatings effected you. of course, they were supposed to affect you in some way, but not enough where you were terrified of making a wrong move.

"he won't hurt you unless you've deserved it, and you've done nothing in a while. he loves you," erwin stroked his thumb across your skin.

you raise your hand from your eyes to stare at him, heat swarming your face, "he does? he doesn't act like it.."

"of course he loves you," erwin smiles, "i love you as well. we'd never hurt you unless given a reason."

something about his sentence makes your head throb in pain. maybe it was the secret confusion that lingered in your head. they said they loved you, even though they kidnapped you and beat you half to death. but then again, they did provide you with things you'd mentioned to them before in order to keep you happy. they even bought a grand piano for you.

it has your heart speeding up and your body hot, bashfully looking to the side.

you loved them back didn't you? they'd treated you with such care, hadn't they? bathing you, feeding you, dressing you, and even visiting you. anytime they were around you, your heart would speed up and you'd get a weird feeling in your stomach.

that meant love, did it not?

subconsciously, you furrow your eyes and grit your teeth. they didn't love you. they were just crazy.

well, maybe they weren't crazy, maybe just misled. you've yet to learn about erwin's past, but based on the way he acts, you assume that it might be a sensitive topic. that had to be the only logical solution, right?

but if they weren't crazy, they'd let you outside, right?

but then again, the outside world could be dangerous at times. when you went outside last time, you did get scuffed and bruised because of the concrete. maybe they just wanted to protect you? that had to be it.

you open your mouth to reply, but the sound of your door opening and closing has you slamming it shut.

"she's still crying," levi asks while walking closer, frowning at how you grip erwin's hand tighter.

"it's best if i let you and her speak about it," erwin says sadly, letting go of your hand and making his way to the door, "alone."

you gulp as soon as erwin shuts the door behind him, staring at levi anxiously. he plops himself next to your body, just like erwin did before.

"please don't hurt me..."

sighing, he lays himself down next to you and pulls you close to him.

"i'm not going to hurt you," he pulls your head into his chest and wraps his arms around you, "not unless you deserve it."

"but...," you quiver, "you were so angry earlier."

"i wasn't angry. i was just... nervous, i guess. and it wasn't at you, or because of you, it was at the mess."

a silence floods the room as you relax in levi's embrace, heat once again spreading to your cheeks.

"what made you puke? i know lunch wasn't that bad," levi grumbles while rubbing your back, arm slightly stiff.

"erwin... was telling me about his case. the one about the girl getting kidnapped...," you tense up again while levi sighs.

"why would he tell you that? i swear he's gonna end up shooting himself in the foot one day," he shakes his head, "you're not like that girl."

"how so..."

"we did it because we love you, not because we wanted to use your body," he scoffs, "surprised you think of us that lowly."

"n-no! i-i don't," you exclaim.

"i know, i'm just teasing. but don't doubt us like that. we want to love you and care for you, not use you," you trace your finger in a circle at levi's sentence, embarrassment washing over you like a wave.

"you love me?"

"yeah, wouldn't do what i did otherwise."

"i think..." you furrow your eyebrows, unaware of the slightly shocked expression of levi, "i think i love you too..."

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #levi ackerman #snk levi #levi x you #levi x reader #erwin x levi #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi aot #erwin x you #attack on titan erwin #erwin smith #aot erwin #erwin x reader #sorrels.allforus💒#sorrels.darkcontent👛

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cillianmurphy · 4 years

Photo

GIFFING 101 - YOUR ULTIMATE GUIDE ON HOW TO GIF

I have gotten many, many asks before about how I gif and I finally decided to make a tutorial. This is going to be very long, very image heavy and with a lot of details and examples. I mean it, I’m going through every, single aspect of giffing that I can possibly think of. From start to finish. And please read the disclaimer at the very start.

* I use a macbook pro but this should probably work on windows too!

I hate doing this but if this helped and you want to, please consider donating to my ko-fi or if you want, commission a theme or page from me at @amaanat <3

tutorial under cut, I hope it helps!

★★★★★

- CONTENTS

disclaimer

what will you need to create gifs?

how to download videos?

extracting your scene from handbrake using VLC / built in video player

opening in photoshop

trimming, cropping and resizing videos

sharpening

colouring and psds

masks

adding subtitles

editing frames / timeline speed

multiple gifs in one grid.

actions

exporting the gif

last minute tips and extra links.

★★★★★

- DISCLAIMER

First off, this is not meant as a post where I am saying look here, this is the only and perfect way of giffing. Not at all. When I started out, there were many tutorials available that helped me figure out how to gif, and I slowly developed my own style and I would like to create an in depth tutorial that helps you grasp the basics. Heck, make your gifs whatever way you want, go absolutely crazy on colours or whatever, this tutorial is just here to guide you through the process of gifmaking, because I know it can be very intimidating to people who are just getting into it. That is why I made this and why I spent 8 hours writing this, because I want others to know too and this is the kind of in depth tutorial I needed when I was starting out 4 years ago. Thanks for reading, hope it helps and go crazy ahhh go stupid.

★★★★★

- what will you need to create gifs?

photoshop. I use photoshop CC 2020 on a mac and I pay monthly bc of student discount. There are many, many links you can find on @completeresources for downloads. You can use any photoshop you like, as long as you have the timeline option.

Handbrake. This nifty program is used mostly to convert MKV files to MP4, but I also use it to quickly extract the part of the video I want, because opening an entire movie in photoshop can quickly clog up space bc of cache and it’s a pain to find that one second scene you want with that tiny scrollbar. Download it from here.

your video (downloading explained down below)

extras: VLC, just to find how many seconds the scene is at, so we can input the time in Handbrake. You can use any other player though for that step, I use VLC or Quicktime. Download VLC from here.

★★★★★

- how to download videos

Ok so I will quickly go through a few methods here for getting your clips.

1. t*rrenting.

This is the most popular method for getting your film or tv episode. I personally get my t/rrents from rarbg dot to or if I am having trouble finding one, I go to 1337x dot to, because they compile them from different sites. I copy the magnet link and go to the qbittorrent application, import magnet link, choose the files I want and it downloads. Remember, the higher the seeder leecher ratio, the quicker it will download.

But which file should I choose?? there’s so many? Well yes there are many many files for different movies. On RAR, I found more than 40 t/rrent files for Endgame. I think that generally, the 4/5 GB 1080p copies are just fine. I have compared giffing with a 60GB Interstellar Remux (which is directly ripped from bluray) file to giffing from a 4GB 1080 file, it literally gave me the same quality and the 1080 looked crisper. So yeah don’t kill your computers space, just go for those 3/4/5GB files.

hot tip - don’t download from yify, the quality is way worse.

2. movies from twitter accounts such as logolessHD.

these accounts post MEGA links to movies and shows, but you will have to request to follow them to be able to get the links. Then you can download the movie from there. The accounts you can get these links from are here: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4. The quality can be a bit less though compared to t/rrents. Here is a link to a tumblr blog with these kinds of downloads too.

3. downloading from youtube.

ok, use 4kvideodownloader for this. It is incredibly easy to use, you just need the youtube link. Always Always go for 1080p, if you can’t then 720 at the most because otherwise quality gets really bad really fast.

4. netflix / screenrecording

If you don’t want to download / can’t find something, try using netflix and screen recording. In my experience, SC only works on google chrome and not safari so jsyk!! Here is a tutorial on how to screen record on mac (or for quick access, click command+shift+5) and windows.

NOTE: quicktime screen records at 60fps, which is nearly thrice the frame rate of movies and shows, so at the end you may end up with duplicate frames in the timeline of photoshop, so you will have to delete those frames one by one sorry.

★★★★★

- extracting your scene from handbrake using VLC / built in video player

muahaha here’s where the magic starts to happen. Open handbrake and import your video. For this part I am going to use a scene of Keanu Reeves from the 2019 movie Always be my Maybe. I will demonstrate with that scene up until colouring, because then I will show how I colour different scenes!

So when you have opened the image in HB, you get this layout. (link to imgur)

it is a bit intimidating, I know. So basically, first, click on where it says chapters near the top right and click seconds. then, input the time you want to extract from the entire video. For the Keanu scene, that scene starts at 00:57:18 and ends at 00:57:21. These are not exact timings, I usually add an extra second so the entire scene is captured and I heavily recommend you do the same.

Now down below, you can click browse and edit where your new video will be saved and you can also change the name of the new clip. Always ALWAYS remember to keep the .mp4 ending do not cut that part out!!! If the ending says .m4v change it to mp4!!

Ok then I undertake the following steps to ensure the video that will be exported is of the highest quality possible:

Firstly, I uncheck all these three boxes:

Then you see this bar here right? Well I will edit the dimensions, filters and video now. You don’t have to do anything for audio, subtitles or chapters so leaving that alone is best. Lets go to dimensions first.

Here are my settings for dimensions:

The storage size depends on if your file is 1080p or 720p. Most movies are shot in a ratio of 2.35:1, so if it does not say 1920x1080 like a 1080 file should be, don’t fret. The cut off parts are just the black bars you see when watching the movie. Handbrake doesn’t recognise nor convert them so that’s one less thing we have to worry about.

Now onto filters. Literally do NOT change anything there. Leave the settings as they are, which is like this:

Finally, go to video. You will see this kind of window and these are my settings (imgur)

Firstly, leave video encoder at H264 or 265 depending on how your video is encoded. For the FPS, choose same as source for the framerate and click constant instead of variable!!! This will ensure your video is smooth. For quality, bring the slider all the way to the right. RF0 means it will be at the best quality possible. I didn’t edit the settings at the bottom at all so just leave them be.

Now click this green icon (imgur) at the top and your video will start encoding! It does not take long at all and then your video is ready to made into a nice lil gif!

★★★★★

- opening in photoshop

woohooo we got our video!! Ok now open photoshop. Click on file -> open:

now search for the file you extracted from VLC and import it! Now your screen will look like this (imgur). With a different video, of course lol.

★★★★★

- trimming, cropping and resizing videos

ok so firstly, we will trim the video. As you can see in the image I linked in the step before, the screencap you see is of someone else in ABMM, not Keanu, like I want. So use this slider:

and click and drag it to where your scene begins and shows up in the window. Then, click the following button to split at playhead.

This will split the clip and so the timeline and layers section will look like this (imgur) (mine has three sections because there was space before and after the keanu scene so I cut two parts which made three clips)

so now all there is left in trimming is delete the layers of the video you do not need! For me in that image it was layer 1 and 3!

cropping and resizing

This depends on the kind of gifset you want to make. This picture is a handy guide for resizing:

This post is also very very useful for resizing info

Ok now I will crop my gif. Click on this tool:

and now my interface looks like this. I am using the ratio 6 by 4 but you can use whatever you want.

Ok now you may need to crop some black bars but since I don’t have to, I just moved the crop area around a bit and clicked enter to crop it. Just play around with sizes and whatnot, and get a feel of what you like!!

cropping tip: crop as close as you can to the edges. The more you zoom in, the more pixels that will be visible and it will make your gif extremely grainy!!

So now for resizing, go to image -> image size or click command-shift-i

and you will get this window.

A LITTLE NOTE - I personally do not use automatic but a friend who shared her sharpening psd would prefer if I kept it secret, but automatic is what most people use and it is what I used up until november 2019 and it worked just fine.

Ok anyway now I want to make my gif 268px wide so I will input that as width and make sure you click this!! It makes sure your height and width are proportional!

ok now we have this. After you’ve done that, click ok!

congrats, you just resized a gif!! Your gif probably looks smaller now in the main window once you click ok, just zoom in to it! don’t worry about it looking bad quality, sharpening is next!

This is how my gif looks with trimming, cropping and resizing (with 0.05 speed)

★★★★★

- sharpening

Now we sharpen! Make sure your layer is selected Go to filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen and this window will pop up:

These are my settings which most people use. Just remove gaussian blur

I have more accurate and use legacy checked too!

click ok! Now ... your gif might look a bit oversharpened. That’s why we use a bit of gaussian blur. Go to filter -> blur -> gaussian blur.

now I think most people also use a 1.0 radius so set that and click ok.

But now your gif looks too blurry. Lets fix that. Double click the icon below in the layers panel

and adjust the opacity! My go to is between 25 to 35, just so the gif looks smooth!

Now we’re done with sharpening! This is how our gif looks with sharpening with 0.05 speed:

sweet right? Now .... the best and hardest part ... colouring!!!!

★★★★★

- colouring and psds

First I will shortly talk about psds. They are photoshop files, that save the entire document which means you can share it with someone after uploading it and when they download and open it, they can edit the layers, tweak things just like they made the file in the first place. Many people upload psds of gifs with colouring so others can use that colouring. You can find so many psds on completeresources (I only linked gif psds but they have psds for icons and headers too) or allresources. I do not use psds but colour from scratch every time so I will not be explaining them further, sorry.

So for colouring, I will go very in depth into different styles. Here are the main types of colouring I have noticed people use on here:

simple - I normally use this for scenes with people in it

vibrant, bright - I use this for scenes with lots of colours in them

pale

black and white

gradients - I use this to spice scenes up a bit

colour palette

I only go for simple, vibrant and gradients and never do cp, pale or black and white, but I will link a few tutorials by talented creators who do and after that I will explain the three ways I colour by showing you three different examples :)

Some useful tutorials I have found for pale/bw/cp colouring are:

this pale tutorial by @samecoin. Especially useful read because Tippy explains how to avoid whitewashing in pale edits.

this pale tutorial by @kateausten. Very easy to read and to follow.

this colour palette tutorial by @freddyfreemen. They explain the basics and provide a psd too.

this colour palette tutorial by @stenbranlons. Very image heavy which guides you through every step of the way.

A blog dedicated to pale resources is @finesources and is definitely worth checking out!

this tutorials page by completeresources has many many tutorials on how to do different kinds of styles

Btw, this is a useful website that explains all the different adjustment layers in photoshop if you’re still getting the hang of them

ok now onto my examples for the colouring. I will first do simple colouring for which I will use the keanu gif. For vibrant and gradient I will use two different gifs. I usually put my colouring into a group so first, close the video group layer and click this to make a new group which will contain the adjustment layers for our colouring:

SIMPLE COLOURING

First I will brighten the gif up with some curves. That is this tool:

Then you get this window:

As you see, I have selected that white eyedropper tool. Using that I will brighten the image. Basically, you want to click on the whitest part of the gif using that tool. This is because wherever you click, the eyedropper will turn that part into white and adjust the entire gif that way so if you click somewhere dark, you’ll get this white bright fuzzy mess. So I clicked on the lightest place which imo is the white specks near the glass in front of his hand and now my gif looks like this:

Ok now if you look at the above image, there is a black eyedropper two steps above the white one. You want to use that to click on the darkest place of the gif bc it’ll turn that to pure black. Here is my gif when I did that:

not a massive difference but it balances things out. Now I will add some saturation. Click this icon:

which brings up this window. I have already set saturation to around 15 to make it a bit warmer:

and the gif looks like this now:

I think it looks nice, but I would like to add something extra. That is why I am going to play around with selective colour to make the background pop a bit and make the black colour more dark. So click this icon:

and you get this window and these colours (imgur). You can play around a lot with selective colour and manipulate colours! So if I turned the black dial on reds to +100, they would become wayyyy darker. However because I want the background to pop, I would use the colours magenta and blue (and black for the final touch). For those my settings are this: 1 - 2 - 3 (imgur). So now my gif looks like this:

And now i think we are done! For comparison, this is what the gif looked like with absolutely no colouring or sharpening:

And that was all for simple colouring!! Lets move on to vibrant colours!!

VIBRANT COLOURING

For this I will use an example from Thor: Ragnarok bc thor is my soft bb. I did not do much for this first example except play around a lot with selective colour and I used the exact way of adding saturation and curves as shown before. Honestly just playing around with selective is the best bet to get vibrant colouring. The gif without sharpening etc was this:

the gif after colouring and sharpening is this:

pretty sweet huh? Just play a lot with saturation, hue and selective colour and channel mixer and you can create a lot of styles that way!

GRADIENT

for this I will use another clip from Thor, but from The Dark World. It is a bare clip where it is raining and I will add a gradient on it. This is the gif without colouring nor sharpening:

now we will do the sharpening and colouring. I already applied a basic curves and saturation layer so now it looks like this:

It looks a bit better right? Ok lets get that gradient applied. Click here:

and click on gradient, NOT gradient maps bc those are different things and I honestly dont know how maps work.

now this is what will appear, I haven’t changed anything to this yet:

What style, colours, angle you choose is up to you. I personally am going for 0 angle because I want it going right. Now, to choose colours, double click on the colour shown next to the word gradient. This window will show up:

The fun part is you can do what you want here. Just experiment, click the buttons, adjust opacity etc. When you click at the bottom of the bar somewhere another stop marker appears meaning you can have even more colours! Just click on the bottom markers and edit to your hearts content! Use the top button to adjust opacities. Personally I went for this gradient:

Ok but now we have a problem because our gradient is fully covering the image and you can’t see anything. That is where blending modes come in. Right click on the gradient layer and click blending options. This window will pop up (ingur). When you click blending mode, these options appear (imgur).

Here is a good guide explaining the blending modes

I just recommend playing around seeing which one suits you. I went for overlay, which makes my final gif look like this:

and that was that on colouring!! Let me know if u have questions about it! Onto the next part, masks!

★★★★★

- masks

I will not go in depth here, but instead I will link some tutorials but the amazing @thepunisher who has explained it much better than I ever will be able to. The tutorials are all in this link. If you have any questions do lmk but idk how I could explain it.

★★★★★

- adding subtitles

although we wish we could, we can’t all lip read so we need subtitles also I’m hard of hearing and need them anyway but yeah, I will quickly highlight how I add subs! I use the font Arial Rounded MT Bold Regular.

I will first link to this post because it helped me a lot and may explain stuff better than I do.

Lets take the keanu gif we had earlier. In it, he says ‘fish flakes’. Now what I do is this. Click on this icon:

and drag a box around the gif fully. Add your text. Mine looks like this now:

Well that ... does not look like a subtitle. BTW my settings are:

*when there are two people speaking I change the colour of the second person to #ffff00 - also for 540px gifs I usually use 12/13px text.

Ok now I will add the stroke and drop shadow. Right click on the layer of text, click blending options and change your stroke and drop shadow settings to this and this (imgur). Now just click the move tool or hit V on keyboard to select it and drag the gif down wherever you want. Now my final gif looks like this:

Ok, now if you have two gifs and you want them to be the same distance from the bottom, right click the text layer of the first gif document, click duplicate layer and you will get this window:

now click on destination and depending on what files you have open in PS, you will get this window:

now just choose where you want the text to go and if the gifs are the same sizes itll appear exactly where it did in the first one and you can edit the text for the second. You can do this with adjustment layers, groups etc too!!

Now text is done! Off to the next part!

★★★★★

- editing frames / timeline speed

We are done editing, now time to convert to frame animation and edit the speed!

Ok click on the four bars on the right side of the video timeline. It will bring up a menu. From there, select this:

This will make individual layers of every frame into clips. Now, click this at the bottom left side of the video timeline:

This will convert your video timeline to a frame animation timeline. Now it looks like this (imgur). you’re probably wondering wait where the heck did my layers go well don’t fret, lets click the four bars on the right side again and click this:

now look! We have got all our frames into the timeline! Just delete the excessive frames at the front. Now click the four bars again, select all frames and then click the number at the bottom and change it to 0.05 or 0.06 or whatever speed you want:

Now we are done with this step!

★★★★★

- multiple gifs in one grid

I myself am not going to explain this, instead here are links to a few amazing tutorials that will help you further

this tut by @brolinjosh

this tut by @futurist

★★★★★

- actions

Now actions ... man they make everything so much easier. Basically actions are a sequence of steps you undertake in photoshop that are recorded which you can then save and use on multiple files. This makes the giffing process much much faster!!! For instance, these are the actions I have saved (mind the doubles lol I am experimenting a bit!)

As you can see, I have one for undertaking the entire video timeline to frame animation process and one for sharpening and the subtitles. It has saved me around 75% of the original time I put into creating sets before which is a lifesaver.

I cannot explain how to make actions bc I am really bad at explaining stuff, but here are some tutorials:

- https://helpx.adobe.com/photoshop/using/creating-actions.html

- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/66560261468/how-make-action-%D0%B7

- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/50583786863/how-to-use-an-action

- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/50362731526/how-to-use-actions-on-gifs

https://www.creativebloq.com/adobe/create-own-photoshop-actions-61411918

★★★★★

- exporting the gif

now we’re at the final stage! When you have your gif ready, go to file -> export -> save for web legacy

ok now the next window is this which looks intimidating I know

Well basically, those are my settings above. Make sure the looping option is set at forever. Also on the left size you see how big your gif is, make sure it is under 8mb but tumblr is unstable so keep it under 5MB and it should be fine.

I use different exporting types at times. Sometimes I use selective and pattern, sometimes diffusion or adaptive+dif. Just remember that the gif size depends on which you choose so keep that in mind. Here’s the difference (if u can even spot it).

selective + pattern

selective + diffusion

adaptive + diffusion

Personally I mostly only use selective + pattern!

btw make sure your matte is at NONE!!! This is because otherwise you have those whitish transparent borders on your gif, esp noticable on dark gifs, like shown in this tutorial by the talented @joewright !

And congrats, you have officially made a gif! Now go experiment, have the time of your life and do whatever the heck u want with your gifs. And if you want me to see them, tag me!! I track #usernums !!!

★★★★★

- last minute tips and extra links

man idk what to say here really but here goes:

@completeresources and @allresources are amazing places to learn more about gifmaking, pls take advantage of the opportunity

reminder: quicktime records at 60FPS, so unless you want a laggy gif delete the extra duplicate frames in the frame animation timeline!!

When opening import video frames to layers, do not click skip every second frame!! do not!!!!

Do not steal gifs. Try making them. I know it takes time and it can get frustrating but don’t post someone elses gifs as your own. Even the ugliest gifset in existence made originally by someone is better than a stunning set put together full of stolen gifs from various users. Don’t be that person

Don’t be afraid to ask for help pls just go on anon if u want!!

use the tumblr dimensions!!! I cannot stress enough how important this is because if you don’t, your gifs will look stretched af and lose quality so like .. don’t do that

#completeresources #itsphotoshop #tutorial #resources #gif tutorial #allresources #my tutorials

1K notes · View notes

rotatemp3 · 3 years

Photo

hi!!! i am making this tutorial for the anon who asked me how i coloured this set. so here is a short tutorial on the adjustment layers i used to achieve this look. as you can see, the way i coloured this set is very basic… but i do hope that this will help you colour your own gifs. also, you can download the psd i made here if you would like and apply the colouring to your own gifs/adjust each layer to suit the colours in your original gif. the tutorial is under the read more link. works best on the desktop!!! (idk why it turned out all over the place on mobile)

so before i start the tutorial i am assuming you have already made your gif and ps is open… anyway let’s start!!!

1. as you can see from my gif, the colouring style i use tends to ‘darken’ the colours in the gif. performances tend to have grainy backgrounds so darkening the gifs can make the gifs look cleaner in a way too (apart from using denoise and such). to achieve this, i start with selective colour. this layer can strengthen certain colours that you want in the gif… and can do the opposite as well. it’s hard to explain it in text but once you open the layer you can play around with each of the sliders and you’ll see what i mean. in this set, i used the neutrals and blacks setting to make the darker colours even darker. these are my settings for this gif:

but play around with it and the other colours!!! trial and error is really the best way to see what each setting does so i recommend you play around with this adjustment layer and see what it does to the colours in your gif. for skin colour, i use the reds and yellows setting too to make the skin stand out. for this gif, i stuck to neutrals and blacks only as each gif i used for my set had different colours and i wanted to make the colouring as cohesive as possible.

2. i darken the gif further by using curves. this layer is good when you want to darken a scene but you can also lighten a scene without making the scene too bright (if that makes sense?). it’s really useful for darker scenes where you want the person to stand out from the background. but for this gif, i used it to darken the colours. these are my settings for this gif:

if you pull the little square in the middle down, the scene will turn darker. and if you pull the square above the line, it’ll become brighter. also you can make more than one point on the graph.

3. the next layer i use is levels. so like with curves, this can make your gif darker or lighter depending on where you drag the arrow. i wanted to darken the gif so i drag the arrow to the right. these are the settings for my gif:

the most i really go is 0.95 because i don’t want it too dark.

4. the next layer i use is black and white. it turns the gif black and white… like the title suggests but this layer changes the colour depending on the blending mode you use for your gif. once you choose the blending mode, you change the opacity of the layer to change how intense you want the colours to look. for this gif, i used the soft light and colour burn blending options and changed the opacity for each one. these are the settings for my gif:

soft light kind of intensifies the colours and darkens the scene. colour burn also darkens the scenes. try our the other blending options too and see how it affects the colours on the gif. you can use lighten or screen to make the gif brighter… increase opacity if you want the effect of the blending option to be greater.

5. the next layer i use is brightness/contrast. this layer basically does just that… it can affect the brightness and the contrast of the scene. i tend to decrease brightness and increase the contrast to make the scene darken and intensity the colours. these are the settings for my gif:

i am making subtle changes because the gif is already dark. but see how this will look on your gif.

6. the next layer i used is vibrance. this makes the colours more vibrant like the layer title suggests… i slide the arrows to the right to increase the vibrance. these are the settings for my gif:

if you slide to the left, it’ll give the scene a more desaturated look.

7. the next layer i use is hue/saturation. it gives the colours a more vibrant look. this layer can also make certain colours stand out more than others. these are the settings for my gif:

it’s only subtle here because the colours are already quite vibrant. but you can adjust it so certain colours look washed out or brighter. use the drop down menu on master to change colours.

8. the next layer i use is exposure. this layer is good for giving the scene a darker overlay. and for giving the scene a kind of a translucent effect. it’s like a little bit of brightness but not really… it makes more sense if you play around with it and see how it affects the scene. these are the settings for my gif:

so i decrease the offset and increase it… it kind of makes the scene brighter without making it overly brighter.

9. so by the end of it your gif should look something like this with these settings:

here’s the gif with the original and edited version in one:

i hope this was easy to follow and that my explanations made some kind of sense… sorry if it doesn’t i’m not really good at wording things. but i hope you understand the general idea of what the adjustment layers do. my advice is to play around with each adjustment layer, including the ones i didn’t mention, and see how it affects your gif. it’s really all about trial and error. performance gifs can be tricky in that the background can be noisy and the colours are all over the place but see how you go with these settings. if you would like a tutorial for a specific performance i have giffed, let me know and i can remake it and give you the settings. (here’s an example of how i coloured the same scene differently: 

this:

versus this:

you can see the first gif is more blue while the second gif is is darker and the background is now black).

also if you would like the psd for the gif, download it here. please let me know how you go!!! i am sure your gifs will turn out nicely!!! feel free to ask me any questions. and good luck!!!

#monstaxedits #*tutorial

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hellsbedroom · 4 years

Text

The World Turned Upside Down

peter parker x avenger!reader

You and Peter try something new and exciting. (Also, you’ve been hiding your relationship from the other Avengers but they were bound to find out eventually.)

ft. the classic Spiderman upside-down kiss.

Warnings: lots of fluff, a little awkwardness, and honestly I made myself laugh so I hope y’all find it funny too

Word count: 1.3k

Masterlist

“Hey wait, can we try something?”

Your eyes blink open in surprise as Peter pulls away, depriving you of the deeper kiss you’re expecting. He has a hint of a smile on his face and you’re too intrigued to ignore it.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Just don’t move,” he quips.

He squeezes your shoulders reassuringly before backing up a few steps and flipping onto the ceiling. You just watch with your eyebrows furrowed as he positions himself a little closer and shoots a web to attach to the ceiling, then slowly lowers himself so his face is even with yours. He leans in toward you but you grab his arms.

“Peter, what are you doing?”

“I just-- I don’t wanna miss a chance to kiss you.”

You release him to gesture to the ceiling, laughing incredulously. “No, what are you doing right now?”

“...practicing kissing you upside down.”

A smile plays on your lips as you squint at him and he can’t help grinning sheepishly either. “That’s weird and sweet and I definitely wanna try.” Before he can lean in again you add, “But why? What made you think of this?”

“What if I have to swing away and I’m already upside down and I wanna kiss you goodbye?” he answers with the telltale scratch in his voice.

“Okay, okay,” you soothe him with a hand to his cheek. “Let’s try it.”

You meet halfway. Peter tentatively touches his lips to yours — it’s strange to feel them upside down but not unpleasant. At first he just gives you a peck but sparks fly and you both lean in for more. His free hand slips down to cradle your cheek and he hums contentedly when you part your mouth to deepen the kiss. He chases your lips once more when you pull away and you giggle.

“I think that worked?” he ventures, his dark brown eyes shining.

“It definitely worked. We should do that again sometime, Spiderman.” You lower your voice. “Maybe while you’re in the suit.”

He beams at you and tilts his head, raising his eyebrows persuasively. “I mean, we can keep going right now if you want.”

***

Finally, a day of rest. Your last mission had been short but brutal and now you’re spending the day off in the best way possible — cuddled up to Peter on your bed, surrounded by snacks, having a movie marathon. No one had seen him sneak into your quarters and that’s how the two of you like it. It seems simpler to not let anyone else on the Avengers team know about your relationship for now.

Your phone buzzes and you ignore it, still watching the movie in front of you. But when it buzzes with a second notification you pick up and read the two quick messages from Tony.

Conference room, 5 mins

Find Parker and bring him with you

Peter’s head is laying in your lap but he can’t quite see your phone screen. He gazes up at you and asks, “What is it?”

“Tony,” you answer, running your fingers through his hair. “He wants us in the conference room. He actually told me to find you and then meet him there, but...” you trail off with a laugh.

“Well,” Peter chirps, leaning up to peck your lips. “You found me.”

He nimbly lifts himself up and off the bed and crosses the room to press his ear to the door of your quarters. He nods affirmatively, then motions for you to follow him.

“No one’s out there, let’s go.”

Moments later you’re leaning against the cold elevator glass, pursing your lips and looking over at Peter. He’s facing forward and tapping a rhythm against his leg as you’re both brought up to the conference level of the Avengers Compound.

You break the silence. “Do you think Tony knows?”

“No, he couldn’t know. Right?” Peter glances over and there’s uncertainty in his voice. “We’ve been careful.”

Those are the last words he gets in before the elevator doors swish open and the two of you stride toward the conference room. Tony is already there but surprisingly he’s the only one. You and Peter stand on one side of the table and he’s careful to leave a decent amount of space in between.

“So,” Peter pipes up, “another mission, Mr. Stark?”

Tony turns dramatically. “You got something you wanna tell me?”

You and Peter share a bewildered look. Oh no. You shake your head imperceptibly to signal that you’re gonna play dumb for as long as you can.

“It takes two to tango,” Tony quips, “so either of you can answer.”

After taking a deep breath, you calmly say, “Tony, why does it feel like you’ve called us to the principal’s office?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I’m being very condescending right now. I’m sure Parker’s spidey-sense is picking it up.” He drains the rest of his coffee and tosses the cup into the trash. “So when were you gonna clue me in, hm? That you were canoodling around. Making sweet eyes at each other behind the scenes.”

“W-what? We weren’t canoodling.” Peter stares at you with wide eyes. “Totally not canoodling.”

“Yeah, no canoodling here,” you echo.

Tony crosses his arms, then agitatedly runs a hand over his mouth. “Okay, we’re doing this the hard way.” He paces away, giving you a moment to spare Peter another worried look, and then he spins on his heel. “We all learn from the best, right? And for stopping bad guys we’re kinda the best. So you can imagine my surprise when I was rewatching some tapes from the last mission and I caught a glimpse of our lookouts. That’s you two, by the way.” “Mr. Stark, whatever you think you saw —”

“You, hush.”

“Tony,” you try to interject.

Tony swings a finger at you. “That was not an invitation to speak. F.R.I.D.A.Y., pull it up.”

The screen at the front of the conference room flickers to life and immediately shows a still shot from the security tapes on the outside of the target building. It’s slightly grainy and coming from an angle across the street, but the image is still clear as day.

Peter, hanging upside down with his mask pulled up, kissing you.

You throw up your hands in exasperation and can’t look Tony in the eye. Instead you turn to Peter, trying not to snap too hard. “I told you someone would see us doing that!”

“How could I know about those cameras!” he cries, then crosses his arms and shrugs. “Plus, I don’t know…I think it looks pretty cool.”

Heat flushes your chest as you look at the picture again. “Yeah,” you murmur. It does look pretty cool and you loved it in the moment. You were just about to reassure Peter when Natasha and Rhodey walked by the conference room and gazed in through the glass before bolting inside.

“Is that what I think it is?” Nat asks.

“These two going at it like animals?” Tony gestures at you and Peter. “Yeah.”

Peter groans. “Oh c’mon, ‘like animals’? I’m just upside down!”

“So you finally caught them, hm?” Rhodey nonchalant says. When Tony stares at him in confusion, he continues, “I told you I saw them all over each other a few weeks ago.”

“No, Rhodey, you did not tell me that.”

The burn on your cheeks is too much and you tune it all out, turning to Peter in embarrassment. He grabs your shoulders to steady you even though there’s an obvious pink tinge to his cheeks. You take a deep breath together.

“Okay, so they know. Sorry about that, by the way, I just wanted to —”

“It’s okay, Pete.” You slide your hands down to grasp his. “It was gonna happen at some point. And I think that’s a good shot of us, anyway.”

He smiles all the way to his eyes and puts a finger to his lips, motioning for you to quietly sneak out together. You’re stepping into the elevator before Tony notices you’re gone and you can hear him calling as the doors slide shut.

“We’re not done talking about this!”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x avenger!reader #peter parker imagine #spiderman x reader #tom holland #spiderman imagine #marvel #spiderman #marvel imagine

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script-nef · 4 years

Text

Ex-girlfriend | Miya Atsumu

Category: crack, fluff

Warning: profanities

1.4k words; just Miya Atsumu feeding his fans with his “girlfriend”

The link to the “interview” is a ridiculously high-quality cover of Colde singing Nabi Bobet Tau. It’s great, have a listen. The second one is “Lovestruck” also by Colde.

Lmao did you guys see the interview Atsumu did

Okay so I was just chilling on my couch, flicking through channels to see what’s fun and guess who I see. Getting interviewed. With his incredibly red “girlfriend” by his side. (In hindsight it could be because of the winter cold but listening to Atsumu, he’s probably the main cause) And feeding us for the next 2 months while MSBY doesn’t have any interviews or appearances.

Bruh the reporter who had the fortune of randomly meeting them, what’s the power to your luck I want them secrets. I need them secrets.

But honestly, I was in a shitty mood all day and his interview made my mood lift up. If you guys wanna see the interview, it’s here.

LMAO HE SAID “THIS IS MY EX-GIRLFRIEND” ON LIVE CAMERA SHE LOOKED SO MORTIFIED AND I WAS SCREAMING LIKE “WHAT THE FUCK YOU BROKE UP ATSUMU WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BEG FOR HER TO STAY” THEN HE RAISED HIS HAND UP I SAW THE RING I CAN’T BREATHE

WHEN SHE SAID “Please stop introducing me to everyone like that” IN THE MOST EMBARRASSED VOICE LIKE BOY NOT GONNA LIE YOU HAD US IN THE FIRST HALF

AND IT WAS SO CUTE HOW SHE WAS SO RED AND HER REACTION WHEN SHE REALISED IT WAS LIVE. IT’S A MEME NOW I CALLED IT

Did you see her eyes when he started saying all the soft shit they do together? She was staring off into the distance like she gave up everything but she smiled so cutely when he looked back at her like a puppy. This is what I’m talking about. This shit is my life source. I need me an Atsumu. I need me some romance.

“What would be different when you’re married?”

“Not much, but now I can use the ‘But I’m your husband’ card whenever I wanna hug!” BOY WHY ARE YOU SO PURE WHEN IT COMES TO HER WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THAT IN YOUR MATCHES THE DUALITY OF THIS MAN

DUDE HE FUCKING SAID THAT WE STAN THE BIGGEST SIMP PLEASE NEVER BREAK UP I AM BEGGING YOU!! FEED ME WITH THIS SOFT SHIT THIS IS WHAT GETS ME GOING

They’re so goddamn cute… Are there more clips of them together or anything like that?

There’s this page where people just dish whenever they see them together outside. It’s basically a massive collection of Atsumu being a lovesick fool for his now-fiancée. Here’s the link.

Going out

Apparently his girlfriend worked for MSBY and he fell in love with her. But they had some kind of a bullshit “no dating people affiliated with the team” rule or something so he counted down the days until her year-long contract was over.

And everyone was basically rooting for them since they were super obvious and they officially started dating at the small party on her last day. I think there’s like a super grainy video of them hugging for the entire party. And like, she fits into his embrace perfectly like damn what a match I wish my boyfriend hugged me like that.

SHIT IT’S FIANCÉE NOW I CAN’T BELIEVE BE HAPPY YOU FUCKING CUTIES I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

Café AU

I own a café and Atsumu comes regularly with his girlfriend. She always orders the chocolate waffle combo which is a plateful of waffles topped off with oreo crumbles and chocolate sauce and a milkshake. But Atsumu doesn’t like sweet things so he just watches her the entire time. You know the “chin rested on hand, leaning onto the table and looking at their significant other like the rest of the world doesn’t exist” move? Yeah, imagine that times 2,000. Then square it. And even then you won’t come close to how lovestruck he is for her.

And whenever she looks up from her waffles, he just grins and asks her if it’s nice in the sweetest voice like. You can make those types of voices??? I thought my ears were malfunctioning for a second.

They’re just really cute and make me happy whenever I see them. I’m pretty sure a lot of my regulars also support them as well.

So they’re getting married!! Ugh I swear I’m going to give them extra food as my way of saying congratulations the next time they come around.

Wait, are you the owner of ChatNoir Café? Like the one Atsumu uploads onto his Insta all the time??

That’s me! Yeah, thanks to him I’m getting more and more business everyday. You fans are so amazing I even made a deal for you guys.

Atsumu just uploaded a video of him going through his new house. There is literally nothing in it other than bare essentials lmao. Hopefully they have similar taste in furnitures because I don’t think Atsumu’s going to back down on his decisions.

Insta upload

Nah, man. He’s always going to back down for her. You know how a lot of couples break up during the preparation for the wedding because they realised they’re too stubborn and get into fights? I was fearing that happening for Atsumu but then the match incident happened and I realised. This guy is whipped for her. Properly whipped. He’s never going to break up with her.

What’s the match incident?

It’s probably on YouTube, just search “Atsumu kneeling”.

It was a match where he did a spike which bounded off the opponent blocker’s arm and somehow went straight to her face. I was nearby her and my heart literally leapt into my throat when I saw it. She reacted fast enough and blocked it with her hand, but you should really watch the video to hear the sound. It’s somehow still so strong even after hitting the blocker (powerful boi)

Anyway he immediately ran to her to check up on the damage and literally broke down when he saw her skin turning red. He later said she gets bruises easily and that this left one which persisted for like, 3 months.

She kept saying it was fine and that’s it’s not his fault, but he knelt in front of her to show how sorry he was. In front of everyone. Like, everyone. I couldn’t see one person who wasn’t watching him. And everyone’s jaw was on the floor because holy shit this guy’s kneeling here. I couldn’t believe it and I was standing right there.

The coach eventually came to take him back and sent her to the infirmary to get the hand checked out, but she said something to Atsumu first which revived him. He never told us what it was but apparently it’s something really good since he got like, 10 services aces after that.

Lovesick Atsumu for the win

LOVESICK ATSUMU FOR THE WIN SAY IT LOUDER SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR

Drawing upload

Atsumu has uploaded yet another painting of him done by his fiancée and it is honestly amazing how someone has that much talent. Like, she’s pretty, probably has the patience and kindness of a God because she’s able to deal with Atsumu, artistic and adorable. Lady, what don’t you have??

I know right??? How are you so amazing please stop being so perfect and live like the rest of us plebeians down on Earth. How will I ever get a girlfriend when you’re everything I dream for??

I can imagine her painting and decorating the whole house while Atsumu trails behind her like a loyal puppy. Am I weird if I say I can see in front of my eyes how he’ll carry everything around and lean down for head pats while saying he deserves them for being good. Anyone else think this? No? Just me? Alright then.

YEAHHHH JOIN THE “ATSUMU IS FOREVER WHIPPED AND WE HAVE EVIDENCE” CLUB EVERYONE IS WELCOME!! In my 2 years of following this man I never thought that someone able to control him would appear but here she is. Our goddess.

My only wish is for them to love each other and grow old. And hopefully update us on bits of their sweet and fluffy lives.

#atsumu x reader #atsumu imagine #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu!! one shot #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#atsumu #miya atsumu #SNS format #crack #fluff #female reader

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leejeongz · 4 years

Text

stray kids reaction to their s/o having dimples

😔unfortunately i can not relate but anyone who has dimples is automatically cute and they should know that i will fall in love with them 😔

😀thanks for requesting and thanks for saying u love my blog i’m gonna go cry bout that now ehhehehehe so sweet 😀

scenario: you and your boyfriend had been in a long distance relationship for around 6 months, calling and texting whenever you could. because of the grainy video quality, he’d never noticed you had dimples before and you never really thought to bring it up. when you met for the first time, of course you smiled at the sight of him and then he saw them...

bang chan:

“oh” he paused for second, hands holding your arms down while he twisted you around on the spot. “we’re dimple twins” he laughed. he poked yours, poked his, then poked yours again.

“who would have thought it?” you laughed with him. you thought about all of those soulmate fanfics you used to read about your favourite celebrities. “maybe this is our soulmate thing?” you pointed between your faces jokingly.

“maybe” he winked before he took your hand and continued his day with you. secretly he wished throughout the whole time you spent together that people would bring up your matching dimples and say how perfect you were together.

lee know:

once he’d finished hugging you, he pulled away to look at your pretty smile again.

“face holes” he whispered cutely while poking your dimples.

you looked at him weirdly, he did come out with some strange things but you think you just heard the number 1.

“do you have to make everything weird?” you asked sarcastically.

“you’re the one with face holes” he scoffed. you had no response to that, like how should one even respond you thought. “they are cute face holes though if that makes it any less weird” he joked trying to fill the silence.

“it does not”

changbin:

he thought he saw them, he wasn’t too sure though so he had to wait to see them again just incase. he spent the rest of the day trying to figure it out but your eyes were too distracting. either that or he couldn’t help but kiss you at the time.

you decided to end your first day together by going to his favourite restaurant. you ordered your food and smiled at the waiter, and there they were.

“hmm so it’s true” he reached over the table to squeeze your cheeks “they’re cute i like them” he giggled.

your face flushed red, the waiter had seen it all. changbin hadn’t even ordered yet. “sorry you had to see that” you said to the waiter standing awkwardly.

hyunjin:

“hello dimples” he said staring at them. “i’ve never noticed them before y/n but... they’re cute” he didn’t seem convinced.

you looked at him with furrowed brows and asked “are you sure you like them?” to which he nodded. “could you perhaps... i don’t know... tell your face?”

he shook his head as if to shake off a daydream. “i’m only joking baby, they’re EXTREMELY cute” he giggled out while opening his arms for a hug. “anything that you have is cute, including me of course”

you pulled away from him and gave him a disgusted look “i’ll go back home, don’t test me Hwang Hyunjin” you joked.

han:

he pinched your cheeks almost immediately after seeing them. he was literally about to die from how cute you were like he was NOT doing well. he smiled so brightly at you and giggled a bit before asking “have you always had those?”

you looked at him, still smiling but this time smiling at his silly question “i mean yeah, but if it makes you feel any better not many people notice them or point them out. i feel so honoured that THE han jisung did” you sniffed like you were crying

by the point he’d let go of your cheeks, now grabbing his heart dramatically “y/n don’t do this to me, i might cry!” he exclaimed, his smile getting bigger and bigger with every word.

felix:

he let out the most outrageous noise when he noticed them. “can i touch them y/n pleaseeeeeee?” he begged. you didn’t even know what he was on about which was the funny thing.

“touch what?” you questioned, slightly apprehensive about his response.

“your dimples, silly” by this point, he was already touching them anyway, regardless of if you said yes or no. “they’re SO cute oh my gosh why am i so lucky to have you.”

you laughed at hit his chest playfully “they’re just dimples, no biggie”

seungmin:

“does that mean you never properly smiled while we spoke on call y/n? wow you’re such a fake” he joked while staring into your eyes and holding your hands. you couldn’t work out why he asked such a question and your face seemingly gave that away.

“... because of the dimples” he added “ya know those things that come out when you smile?”

“OH” you quickly had to think of a response “i think the quality was just bad when on call, even when i think about you i smile, Seungmin”.

he kinda felt bad now for making such a joke and so he decided to hug you to hide his embarrassment “stopppp, you’re making me blush” he said in the sweetest tone ever.

you wish you saw him blushing now.

jeongin:

“AHHH CUTE” he screamed at the top of his voice. you were sure people on the other side of the world could have heard him. “dimples are my favourite” he smiled “especially on you”.

you complimented him back on his dimples. they really were cute, but you were definitely not gonna shout about it in a public place.

“sorry was that a bit much?” he asked, his eyes sinking a little. your heart broke at the sight. “they’re just so cute i couldn’t help myself”

“no no don’t worry, just...” you tried to find the right word “unexpected”. he smiled again. “TWINS” you shouted as loudly as you could. oh the things you’d do for that boy.

gifs aren’t mine

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids reaction #bang chan #changbin #lee know #seungmin #i.n #han jisung #hyunjin #felix

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lordofcrowns · 4 years

Photo

11.29.2018 → 12.19.2019

I get a fair few messages about how people would love to make their own gifs, but either don’t end up happy with what they’re able to create, or are so intimated by the notion that they end up never attempting. So, with that in mind, I thought it might be helpful to share a little bit about the process of making these two gifs.

I went to revisit this gif, intending initially to simply reuse it for a meme I was filling out, but instead decided to retake it entirely, so that I’d have a version with Cyril’s updated / correct hair. The result was not dissimilar to an artist’s “update challenge”, where you revisit the same piece and redo it, to see how far you’ve come in a year ( or several years ).

What might be helpful to note - to those who maybe would like to create some of their own gifs - is that the method of creating these two gifs remained exactly the same, even over a year apart. Additionally, both gifs are under 3MB and 540 pixels wide. They are entirely, insofar as I can manage, identical.

The first is obviously quite terribly grainy. There isn’t much contrast in the colors due to the lighting I took it in and filters I used. Cyril ends up looking rather washed out. And, with such a busy background, it’s harder to focus on Cyril moving towards the viewer in the foreground. Does that make it a bad gif? Not at all! It still was / is visually compelling, at least in my own opinion, and it told the story I wanted to at the time. I’m still very proud of the original because it was difficult as hell to make work.

The second is clearer, markedly so. I put him in a controlled lighting environment to make sure he didn’t end up washed out. I used depth of field to make sure the focus stayed on Cyril as he moved towards the viewer. ( Funny enough, to make this work, in the first one or two frames, his fingers actually aren’t close enough to the camera to be in focus, so they vanish. Sorry Cyril, you didn’t need those anyway. )

If you aren’t happy with your gifs ( or any other content you might like to create ), please don’t give up! The very first gifs I did were just of idle poses, and I am still learning years later. The key is simply to start. There will be some inevitable frustration along the way - especially if you’re a perfectionist like me - but focus on having fun, creating something you personally enjoy, and slowly but surely you’ll get to see progress that you’re proud of.

Programs Used: Open Broadcaster Software || EzGif

#I can make a guide of how I make my gifs if it would be helpful #but I don't use photoshop so I can't really in good conscience say I /recommend/ my method #since I know it's not The Best™#but I make gifs for fun; and if you'd like to do the same I'll gladly try to be of assistance #ffxiv #ff14 #ffxiv balmung #ff14 balmung #balmung #balmung server #lordofcrowns #reference #long post #Final Fantasy 14 #Final Fantasy XIV #I hope at least one person finds this helpful

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jetblackpayne · 5 years

Text

Dazed & confused

✧･: *✧･ﾟ: * 　*:･✧*:･ﾟ✧

summary: In which Arden Keaton (OC, half!witch, time traveller!from present) travels to 1984 to fix the timeline for the sake of her future. She’s left Dazed and Confused. BASED OFF RUELS SONG

warning(s): part of another series (aka i’m too lazy to write and wanna write this first), language, sexual situations.

a/n: this was rushed lol. lmk if i should change it to make it less choppy/spelling corrections. AND OR IF IT MAKES NO SENSE ILL CHAT YOU IN THE COMMENTS AND MAKE IT CLEAR!⚡️⚡️😁

key: italics = flashback

bold = arden’s thoughts

bold italics = others thoughts

✧･: *✧･ﾟ:*:･✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･: *✧･ﾟ:* :･✧*:･✧･ﾟ:*✧

PART i.

Arden Keaton woke up with a sudden urge to vomit. Her head was spinning as her eyes began to well up with tears. What just happened? Why do I feel different? She woke up in Murder House as she normally would but something to her seemed off. What was once her bedroom coated in lilac walls and light carpeting against cherry wood floors was now white cracked paint and nails sticking out of the floorboards. More hazard, dangerous, and unkept then she remembered. What happened to this place? For some unknown reason, her mind kept trailing. She couldn’t call out for help or question to her family or to the ghosts why her room looked the way it did. She felt as though she didn’t belong. She couldn’t feel half of the souls trapped in this house as she did before. Her friends Tate not Violet we’re present. A pounding sound suddenly filled her ears from the thin walls echoing through the narrow halls. Her head snapped up in surprise as she walked out of her room. She walked along side the doors, attempting to feel some type of energy from the rooms. Her tracks stopped beneath of a room she had yet to explore, the attic. Her gaze travelled up the suspended ladder as her hands and feet hooked onto the ledge one at a time. When atop, her heart stopped when she found Nikki and Sam Argento, the two loudest ghosts in Murder House screwing each other like some sort of kinky ritual. The woman’s wrists tied to the bedpost in the attic as a knife trailed down her collarbone to cut the strap of her bra off.

Arden gasped. Her hands feeling weak at the sight. Arden felt her body draw from the only thing keeping her stable as she landed on the ground with a thud echoing throughout the house. The sound of meaning and pounding against the wall was silenced. The two stopped in thier moment with wide eyes, “Who’s there?” She heard Nikki yell from the top. Arden scrambled up and ran to the staircase trying to keep her footsteps quiet as possiable. Where is my family? She took out her phone to see her worst nightmare, ‘No Service.’ What is going on?

Arden deceased down the main staircase as quietly as she could. She didn’t know what was going on. She walked into what her family called the ‘family room’ and walked over to the television. Her head lowered as she started intensely at the picture box; goring almost with a palm stuck out. The TV began to flicker as the static became clear. Arden cocked an eyebrow in confusion, the signal usually was great; static was unusual for her to see. The televisions signal slightly cleared up with a grainy effect. *“James Keaton, a young man, age of 19, the youngest ever to graduate from MIT was at his weekly press conference last night. He had some shocking yet releaving information to share with the world.”* The women on the news channel spoke. Arden’s heart pace quickened hearing her fathers name being mentioned. This had to be some sort of prank. The bottom right corner of the screen made her heart drop; there was no way. June 13, 1984. She didn’t know what to think let alone say in this moment. Either I’ve seen the light, or i’m loosing my mind.. The channel finally cut to a new scene. It was her father when he was younger. Arden could distinctly remember the photos framed on the wall above the fireplace in thier old home and the ones mounted on the counters. She could have sworn she’d seen a picture of him in that exact moment. *He looked as if hewere glowing yet looked around at the press with a nervous glance. “I am the Iron man.” He spoke as the crowd went crazy. He then proceeded to sit down in his seat behind the podium. The scene cut to the woman again as she smiled, “Los Angeles has their very own superhero; and it’s James Keaton, genius, soon to be billionaire, also known as Iron Man. Clever name for a clever guy!* The television suddenly went black. Arden’s eyes glued on the void lingering in the still-air.

“What the hell are you doing in our house?!” Nikkis voice shouted from the top of the stairs. Arden’s heart dropped into her stomach as her mouth ran dry. The woman had on a silky bubblegum pink robe untied revealing her lingerie set to the teenager. Behind her was Sam. His arms crossed over his chest as he stood in confusion.

“I’m sorry.” Arden spoke, “I’m not supposed to be here for another 35 years.” Arden stepped over to the staircase placing a nervous hand on the railing. Even the words that came out of her mouth cane as a shock. How was she so calm? “You see it might sound crazy but I fell asleep in 2019 and woke up here in 84. I don’t know what to do.” Arden didn’t feel guilty telling them. They were ghosts in her present house and she was sure they would remember her. “I didn’t mean any harm but I don’t know what to do. My parents are my age.” The couple exchanged glances. Arden read into their minds only to be thinking the same thing, What the hell? “I know what you’re thinking literally it might sound crazy—”

“The amount of shit we’ve seen going on in this house, nothing seems crazy anymore.” Nikki cut her off offering her a small smile. She returned the gesture with a slight pink tint to her cheeks. The couple were still in thier underwear behind the masks. “You don’t look too harmful to me.” she smirked walking down the stairs, “What’s your name?”

“Arden Keaton.”

“As in James Keaton?” Nikki stood stunned.

“In like 18 years time.”

“Bitchin” Sam spoke now beside his partner kissing her temple, “That’s your old man.”

Arden cringed at the term. She gave them a fake smile and snickered playing along, “Yep.”

“Well Arden,” Sam spoke looking down at her small frame, “If you’re gonna be here anyways, you can stay with us obviously.” Arden’s body shifted in slight discomfort. She knew what this couple was known for and being in the midst of that would be disturbing to say the least. “Don’t worry, we won’t keep you up all night with our noises.” He smirked at his significant other as she nibbled on the exposed skin on his neck. He sucked in a hitched breath as his eyes rolled back with pleasure.

Arden’s nose scrunched up, “I guess.”

“It’s settled then!” Nikki smiled again her.

Something to Arden didn’t make sense. Sure considering it is her house in 35 years, she should stay but in thier present time, it’s not. Why would they let her stay like it’s normal? “I’m sorry,” Arden spoke catching them in mid makeout session, “Why are you being so nice to me? I mean I woke up here, told you I was from the future, yet you treat me like i’m not crazy?”

“Like we mentioned, we live in the Murder House, nothing seems too crazy for us anymore.” Nikki wrapped a lazy arm around Sam. They smiled at the girl.

“Well.. t-thank you.” She stuttered a bit shaken up from what she found out.

“You seem tense.” Nikki pondered looking at Arden’s figure. Her shoulders were broadened, eyes diverted to the ground, and hands folded in front of her. “You need to let loose and I know just the thing.” Nikki ran over to the small closet near the front door. Rummaging through the racks she picked out two very bright workout outfits. She slung the two pieces over her shoulders and popped one hip out. To Arden, the outfits looked like a cry for attention; a good or bad cry was still being debated. “Were going to the aerobics studio!”

Arden tossed the woman a small smile. Maybe this would be good for me..

ii.

Sam stayed behind while Arden and Nikki were off to the studio. When they arrived, they went thier separate ways planning to meeting up later. Arden was currently stood in front of a full length mirror. On her body was one of the outfits Nikki gave her. The top was a hot pink bandeau under blue striped spandex suspenders. A buckle above her hips strapping over her belly button. "What the hell am I wearing?" Arden asked herself looking at herself. Her back arched as she looked at the leotard basically up her butt. She twirled amd reached her hands over her head in a semi-seductive way, admiring her look slightly, but she’d never admit it.

"A sexy aeroba-fit that will make all the guys pop a boner." A voice remarked behind her. Her gaze followed it to find a girl in her 20s if not Arden’s age, smirking in her direction. Her hair looked like she dyed and fried it too much. Her was face caked in makeup. She had on a leopard print leotard on; underneath were black leggings paired with platform boots. Interesting. “Don't worry, i'm not a les," The blonde spoke as she smacked her gum against her teeth smirking, "Just friendly." She beamed, "I'm Montana Duke by the way."

"Arden."

“You got a last name, Arden?” Montana challenged narrowing her brown eyes to the girl who stood a good few inches taller than her. Arden would have found her intimidating if she were weaker than her. She knew that wanst the case. She admired Montana Duke for her assertiveness and confidence. There was no way Arden introduce herself to anyone here without feeling awkward of it.

“Ke-” She thought for a moment noting a look of curiosity from the stranger across her. She couldn’t tell the girl her name. After all her father was famous for his now exposed identity for being a superhero and whatnot. The only reason why she told the overstimulated couple was because they once lives in her house; she would know them once she got back to present time as who was once living. Thier souls embodied in the wall of Murder House. She had no idea who this chick was. She couldn’t possibly trust her even if she held a knife to her throat. “Kline.” She firmly spoke.

“As in Calvin?”

“Far descent but yes.”

“Can’t possibly be that far if you have the same last name babe.” Montana smiled as she grabbed hold of the girls hand. Arden tensed up and Montana felt it, “Now let’s go Miss. Kline. Don’t wanna be late for your class.”

“I don’t have a class set up!”

“You do now. I’m sure X would let you join if you’re with me. I can tell we’re gonna be very good friends.” And they were off to class. Arden was a little anxious but she didn’t know why. She wouldn’t remember these people in the long run so why should she care what they think of? The two girls stepped into the bright room. Montana let go of Arden’s hand and practically ran to A hunky blonde Ken-doll. His features, to her, mirrored an angel. His perfectly gelled blonde hair was held up with a lilac headband. His clothes were light as well. White tank top and lilac shorts. The matierial hugged his body well. Arden couldn’t help but bite her lip unintentionally. Montana conversated with him as his gaze suddenly turned to Arden’s, winking in her direction. His tongue ran over this pearly white teeth. He gave her a sly wave. Arden felt her stomach drop as he left cheeks flourished. Her hand went up slightly to give him a shy wave. He laughed a bit looking at her again, he admired her shyness. If only he knew she wasn’t THAT shy.

Pretty soon class started and a few more people to Montana’s taste strolled in earning a wave. Arden stayed close to the back with a brunette girl who introduced herself as Brooke Thompson. They made quick conversation being thier first time in the studio, except Brooke wanted to come. Arden came with Nikki’s suggestion; she had no idea where the woman was. That was far beyond her concern. The sound of Frank Stallones, ‘Far from home’ began to fill the small room. X walked up to the front and began to stretch. His arm crossed his collarbone hugging it with the other. Once again, winking in the girls direction. She smiled at him and looked to the ground. This was gonna be a long day.

iii.

Arden began to hum/quietly sing the tune to Hanson's, 'Mmmbop' as she exited the women's locker room. The Montana and Brooke, whom she met prior, trailing behind her. Arden walked up to the counter and ordered a mango smoothie when she saw three guys converting. She recognised them from the slimmercise class she took. One being the the instructor and the one Montana mentioned, X. The one who couldnt keep his eyes off of her. X stopped what he was saying to look at her. He stared at her body licking his lips as his friends began to check her out. Arden sighed as she saw the hungry eyes melt into the back of her head. She began to read the filthy thoughts they had of her and shuttered. "You know it's not polite to stare." Arden turned around flipping her hair over the shoulders in the process. Batting her eyes, she took a sip of her smoothie. Where did this confidence come from? The boys stood there speechless at the sudden accusation; which happened to be true.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." X spoke as he stepped in ground of her. His perfectly structured jawline sharpened as he smiled at the girl. She couldn't help but blush at his gesture. He stuck his hand out to her, "I'm Xavier." He spoke as she looked at his hand. She finally knew what the letter stood for. "This is Chet and Ray." He motioned to the two other muscular guys behind him. Arden looked down at his empty hand and reached out for it. She brushed her hand against his smooth one to give him a gentle touch. Without warning, her mind clouded as her vision became blurry. She saw Xavier in a park with a needle in his arm. His pants soaked with his own urine. His eyes puffy from crying. Why did he let himself get like this? Just then a man came up to him and talked to him about the film industries he's worked in, "I could make you a star. With a pretty face like that, you could reach big places. And i'm gonna help you get there." He placed a hand on his inner thigh; groping is ever so slightly. "Trust Daddy." The man smirked at the broken man in front of him. Xavier nodded as he helped him up. Arden gasped as she stumbled into his arms. His smirk faltered to a scared expression. He snaked his arms under hers in a deadlift as her weight shifted onto him. He lifted her body over to the couch and looked around to see if anyone had seen the incident unfold. Nothing. The people in the lobby passed by doing anything but looking in thier direction. Chet, Ray, Brooke, and Montana rushed over to the couch as a drop of blood seeped it’s way down her drained face. None of them knew what to think.

“Good going man,” Ray said placing a hand on her shoulder wiping the dropping blood down her nose with a napkin from the counter, “You broke her!”

“Piss off!” Xavier exclaimed to his friends accusations, “I didn’t do anything. She grabbed my hand and went down. Then again most girls do.” Xavier and Chet shared a smirk.

Brooke rolled her eyes at thier childish behaviour. A girl just passed out in front of them and thier connecting it to thier hookups?

“That doesn’t explain why her nose is bleeding.” Montana spoke catching thier attention. They shook her off focusing on the limp girls body on the couch. What were they to do?

“Did you squeeze the poor girl too hard?” Chet asked.

“No fuck-face.” Xavier looked down at the girl. Her eyelids twitched slightly as her mouth parted. She sucked in a shaky breath as she opened her eyes slowly. The light from the ceiling blinding her. She hissed as she sat up and held her throbbing head. Xavier quickly sat next to her, taking her small hand into his large one, "Are you alright? Can I do anything?”

Her cheeks tinted as his simple gesture made her heart flutter. “Sorry about that.” She replies sheepishly

“Never has anyone in my class faint before.” He smirked at the thought. He leaned his body on the pillow her head was once on; elbow propped up holding his head in place looking up at her, “Guess you could say you ‘fell for me.’”

“Ugh,” Montana groaned and rolled her head back in annoyance, “Give me a break.”

Arden laughed at her remark. Xavier looked at her a winked at her making her flourished cheeks heat up more.

° :. *₊ ° . ☆ ✮ ° :. *₊ ° . ☆✮ °:.*₊ ° . ° . •°:.*₊ ° . ° . •

taglist: *based on reblogs/votes on this mini series*

@arkhamren @lourdlangdon

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