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dancingazaleas · 2 years

Text

𖨆. 09 / all for us

summary: when erwin and levi leave you with archie acting as a babysitter, it ends poorly. especially for the relationship you have with erwin.

note: this is unedited, apologies

word count: 2.2k

taglist: @voltairelesecond @baelo80 @the-sun-baby @uniquepickle @ascybous @messyhairday-me @stupid-stinky @saturnalya @megumitodoroki @kouyume @quacksonlover81 @gipumaur @morgana-olson @yourodangoatama @levis-pet @littleagxs

warnings/notes: cursing, erwin backstory, domestic violence, assault, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, let me know if i missed anything

ERWIN smith was a perfect person.

the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect husband, the perfect life.

to everyone else, erwin had the perfect childhood. two parents, madly in love with each other, but loved their son more than one another. he was an only child in the eyes of the public, no conduct troubles throughout elementary.

erwin grew up with the perfect grades, perfect attitude. his father and mother let him skip a few grades, his comprehension skills beyond those in his year.

and even then, behind the scenes, erwin's small family was nowhere near perfect. his mother's strange murder ruled as an accident with no suspects when he was only at the age of seven proved that. but what hurt more than her death was that he knew exactly what was going on.

it was the first moment that erwin felt like he was the smartest in the room, only to immediately realize that he was late to the party.

the uncomfortable looks that the judge and prosecutor gave to him as he sat through the hearing, sitting still with no expression on his face. he didn't start crying until they described the day that she died, he realized that it was practically all of his fault.

his mother at the time, needed something for erwin, specifically a book for his english class. oddly, she was claimed to have walked to a book store through small alleyways and in overall hidden areas. she died on her way back home.

erwin can't remember the fake cause of death, he's only able to remember that the bullet holes in his moms head and chest didn't make sense. all because he needed a book for school.

years down the line, after the persistent teachings of his father, specifically the corruption of the law, he died a month after erwin's 18th birthday.

his death was ruled a mystery, one that would remain buried with the millions of coffins that reeked of unjust.

erwin smith did not have the perfect childhood in reality. all that he had was the perfect lie, one that everyone believed.

but a bad childhood did not make erwin any less perfect, so long as he let his past self die along with his parents. as long as the lie was polished everyday, he'd remain perfect.

but deep down inside, maybe for the second time in his whole life, he wanted to stop.

whenever you had met him, all thoughts of flawlessness flew out of the window and he wanted you to be his. it was as if he was a child again whenever he first saw you, telling himself that you were not anyone's but his. his stares turning possessive if anyone but himself glanced at you.

he even acted like a child behind closed doors, rambling on about you like a trophy on the self to his own husband. levi was his as well, and vice versa, but now he had a childish and insatiable desire to share. share something with his beloved, something that belonged to them both, entirely.

for the second time, he found himself wanting to break his past out from the glass case he kept in locked behind.

and the way you're looking at him now, doe eyes staring up at him like a deer in headlights, he wants to abolish the idea of perfection altogether. he gets stupider with each passing moment, admitting to you that both him and levi adore and love you with their whole hearts.

but he thinks he's even more stupider whenever he ignores your pleading stare whenever he asks archie to watch over you while levi and him leave.

you tug on erwin's shirt whenever he kisses you sweetly as a goodbye, a silent demand.

"be quiet," he grumbles into your ear, large hands squeezing your hips. his thumbs press onto old bruises and you squeak in pain.

you watch him and levi leave through the front door, dread seeping throughout your pores. the closes, the automatic lock turns and clicks into place, and you feel eyes on the back of your neck immediately.

“i don’t believe we’ve been introduced yet, not formally anyhow,” you can hear how smug he is in his voice, it all makes you nervous and you feel sick to your stomach, “i’m archie.”

staying still, you croak, “i’m… i’m (name).”

you flinch whenever his large hand comes to rest on his shoulder, warmth tingling throughout your shoulder. he manhandles you to face towards him, a twisted smile spreading on his face whenever you squirm and yelp.

“didn’t your parents ever teach you it’s rude not to look at someone when they speak? better yet, did levi and erwin not teach you well enough,” his nails dig into your clothing and he’s squeezing so hard it’s almost like he’s ripped your shirt.

“t-they taught me just fine,” your actions contradict your statement, eyes darting down to the floor.

“not well enough it seems,” he hums in disapprobation, fingers grabbing at your jaw and shaking your head, “maybe i should teach you something.”

“n-no,” you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid his malicious stare, “no, thank you. i’m good.”

his fingers squeeze harder, sharp pain starting to tingle throughout your cheeks and neck.

“you say that but you’re not even doing what i got on to you about,” his nails dig into your face and he sucks in his cheeks.

“what are you doing,” you grip at his wrist, trying desperately to pull his hand away, “please let go of me.”

he spits directly on your face, laughing mockingly at how your whole face scrunches up and your body goes slack. you reach up and wipe it away, grumbling at him in anger and frustration.

“what’d you say,” he jerks your face forwards, your eyes snapping open.

“i said that you’re a dick,” you snarl, “i haven’t done a damn thing to you, haven’t even said a single thing. and you’re here lecturing me about bullshit and spitting your rancid spit into my face!”

it’s the first time you’ve spoken from your mind—no, your heart—in a while, not without thinking. it felt good, pride swelled up in your chest and if you were a peacock then your feathers would be puffed.

but when you realize archie isn’t speaking, that’s when the horror settles in. slugs call around in your stomach and your palms are sweating now.

with practiced ease, archie throws you onto the ground with an angry shout.

“you’re in fucking trouble now, girl,” he laughs, squatting down and hovering over you, “you know, before erwin and levi left, they told me something. wanna know what they told me?”

“unless it was to shove your fist up your own ass, then no, i don’t want to hear it,” your voice shakes along with your fists while trying to remain strong, but everything hurts.

“well, you better listen up because they told me i could beat you and punish you however i like if i see it necessary,” his smile is demented, spread from ear to ear and showing off the pearly white teeth he has.

fear and anxiety is fully settled in now, of course they’d still punish you, even if they weren’t home. anything to control you, anything.

you feel as if your body is on pause, frozen in terror and the only thing in you making noise is your heart.

but suddenly, it’s like someone had pressed ‘play’ when archie’s foot connects to your jaw. it knocks your head against the floor, almost like he’s trying to a get a combo from a video game. you only manage to reach your arms up in defense, but it doesn’t serve much because archie slams your arms back into your face with his foot.

he’s laughing whenever he watches you struggle to sit up, to even look at him, so he does you a favor by yanking on your hair.

“i’m sorry,” you hiss, pathetically. you had taken a leap of courage and it had come back to bite you in the ass.

“i don’t care,” he scowls, “i need something to take my anger out on—and you’re perfect for the job!”

you struggle against his hold, scratching at the hand tangled in your hair. he only socks you in the nose in response, blood immediately gushing from the wound.

“stop—,” you grunt, “you fuck—in’ prick!”

archie throws you back down with your own hair, all you can manage to do is close your eyes and listen to his ranting.

“you’re so perfect to abuse—i mean, levi and erwin have already done the hard stuff! they made your body weak, weaker than before the beatings due to the starving, the beatings, the manipulation! god—it’s like they’re experts,” he laughs in astonishment, “they’ve beaten you so hard that you can’t even fight back, not like you would have before getting beat.”

crying, you peek open an—already—bruising eye. his cheeks are flushed and his previously combed hair is in disarray.

in this moment, you prayed that erwin and levi would come home soon. just this once.

[——]

you wake up to a door slamming shut, the noise rocking your body rigid. you hear stomping, it’s getting closer, and you’re so scared that you’ve yet to realize you’re back in your room. in your bed.

you claw your nails into the frilly blanket in anticipation, the doorknob begins to rattle and the door begins to creak. you curl further into yourself and seal your eyes shut, someone’s now inside the room.

a large, familiar, hand rests itself on your arm, squeezing the fat gently.

“i know you’re awake,” it’s erwin, and he sounds disappointed.

swallowing, you say, “did you need something?”

“i heard you got in trouble with archie,” his hand tightens around his arm with his voice dropping, “what i need are answers.”

“w…what do you mean,” he throws you onto your back, fury in his icy blue eyes.

“what did you do,” he grits out through his teeth, “what did you say?”

you open your mouth to answer, but erwin’s hands creeping to your neck makes you pause.

“you’re usually so good for us,” his thumbs press on your trachea, “what changed? what happened?”

you audibly choke, smaller hands clasping at erwin’s humongous ones, “scratch that—you’re barely ever good for us. we have to beat everything into you.”

tears poke out of the corner of your eyes, spit gurgling in your throat. he squeezes harder and pushes you further into the mattress.

“why can’t you EVER be good? you always have to cause trouble for us—for me, for levi—when all we’re trying to do is love you,” black spots prickle in your vision as your struggling becomes weaker.

“pl—ease,” you cry, eyes rolling back into your head, ears popping.

his nails start to dig into you, “can’t you see how much we love you? we provide you with everything and anything. if you ask for it, we get it.”

“erwin,” you gasp, “please…!”

“but you’re so ungrateful! declining each of our affections, even whenever you’re in NO place to be doing so.”

your vision is starting to go black, for the second time that day, but it’s stopped abruptly. you barely comprehend was going on around you, gasping and choking on air that it hurts your head.

“what the fuck are you doing?!” hands help you up, “you could’ve killed her!!”

your vision is blurry and your hands are wandering, latching onto somebody’s hand.

“oh my god,” you hear erwin rasp, “i’m so—i didn’t even realize—!”

“yeah, i’m sure she gets that,” the other person is levi, who’s surprisingly angry at erwin, and not you.

“levi—please, i-i’m sorry,” he sighs, hands reaching for you, looking to cradle.

“no,” you cough, hysterically shuffling further into the arms of levi, “don’t you dare—!”

you sob and go to cover your ears, only receiving comfort in the form of back rubbing. the roles have reversed for erwin and levi, something that hadn’t ever crossed your mind.

“erwin,” levi sighs, “leave—she’s too wound up to hear you grovel.”

you ignore the hurt look on his face and grasp onto levi in comfort, hiding your face into his chest and crying. you stay there even after you hear erwin leave, shuttering in levi’s arms like a leaf.

“god, what is his deal,” he grumbles to not only himself, but you too, “he was supposed to ask what happened, not attempt to murder you.”

levi’s arms around you are stiff, but comforting nonetheless.

“since he’s acting like a child who can’t his anger, i’ll ask you; what happened?”

you wail, “i can’t remember—something about attitude! pl-please, just don’t hurt me!! no more!!”

“i won’t,” he knows he’s lying, “not now, anyways. just calm down.”

you hug levi tighter and he can feel his shirt getting damp with your tears. to say he’s envied erwin for your affections was a mistake, he’d give anything to not have you crying on him.

“it’s okay,” he says, forcing himself to relax, “erwin’s just acting like a child.”

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