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therealcocoshady · 4 months

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Recovery - Chapter 1

Eminem x Reader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Y/N is getting sober and trying to rebuild her life after a hard breakup when she meets Marshall Mathers.

Tags : mention of SA ; Miscarriage ; Addiction

Author’s note : this is my first shot a my writing a fanfiction. Hope you enjoy it x

Chapter 1

- Thank you for having me, you said to Talia.

- No problem, baby. You stay as long as you need to, she answered while giving me a hug.

You looked around, taking everything in. In a matter of days, you had lost nearly everything. It all started when you woke up in the hospital, several tubes attached to your body.

FLASHBACK

Apparently, you had been in a coma for three days. Simon, your boyfriend of two years was sitting in a chair next to your bed.

- I can’t believe you did it again, Y/N.

- It’s not what you think, Simon.

- It is exactly what I think. You need help. You need to get yourself together. Next time you might not be so lucky. You might actually die, he said.

Dying. To be fair you hadn’t really tried to kill yourself. It was more complicated than that and Simon knew it.

- I’m sorry, you said, trying to hold his hand.

- No, he simply answered, taking his hand off yours.

He looked at you with a piercing gaze, not saying a word for what felt like forever. He didn’t need to, anyway. You already knew it was over.

- I love you, Y/N. I really do. But I can’t go on like this. You need to seek treatment, he said with tears in his eyes.

- I just wanted to sleep, you know, you tried to explain.

- By taking over 100 pills of Xanax ?! Are you fucking kidding me ? He asked, fire coming from his eyes.

- I…

Tears started rolling on your cheeks. As much as you knew you had done something terribly stupid, you wished he wouldn’t break up with you. You wished he would understand.

- Simon, don’t do this, you pleaded.

- I’m sorry, he simply said, getting up and grabbing his jacket. You have a problem and I cannot deal with it.

He walked towards the door and faced you for the last time.

- Your stuff will be packed when you get out of here.

And there it was. Shortly after moving in with your boyfriend, you were homeless.

END OF FLASHBACK

- Are you ok, Y/N ? Talia asked.

- Yeah. Sorry. I just… I can’t believe it’s over, you said. I really screwed up.

She gave you a big hug again.

- What’s done is done. Now you need to focus on getting better, she said.

- Thank you for being here for me. And allowing me to move in with you. And not judging me.

- What you need now is not judgement. It’s support. I am a bit mad though, she explained. I wish you had come clean to me about all those prescription pills.

- I thought I could manage, you tried to explain.

- Well you thought wrong.

Your best friend was being hard on you, and she had every right to be. For months, you had been lying through your teeth to everyone in your life. You had pretended that you were this happy-go-lucky girl who had it together. On the outside, you had everything : you were successful in your PhD research at university of Michigan, a loving boyfriend you had just moved in with and a tight-knit circle of friends who loved you unconditionally. But deep down, you had been unable to handle the pressure of your studies and, the hardest thing of all, you had lost your baby, going through a miscarriage at 13 weeks of pregnancy.

- You should rest before I take you to your meeting, Talia said. And then, we’ll go to the studio. Jamal invited us.

- Do we have to ? I think I’d rather come back here right after the meeting, you pleaded.

- Meeting new people will be good for you, she said. And I won’t lie : I don’t think you should be alone in here.

She was making it clear that she didn’t trust you. After all, how could you possibly prove that you weren’t going to be popping pills as soon as you were alone ?

- Right, you said.

She left you to your new room. Thank God she and Jamal, her boyfriend, were living in a big house with plenty of room to spare.

Jamal was a beat maker and producer and had made quite a name for himself. He was now starting to work with famous people. One of them was Eminem. You weren’t a big fan, although you did enjoy some of his most well-known music. In fact, this man was to be credited for you learning how to swear in English, as you’d learned the language by watching movies and listening to music. You hadn’t listened to him in a long time though and you were kind of wondering what he was up to, now.

Talia sometimes went to the studio with Jamal and she was getting along with everyone. According to her, “Em” (as she called him) was a great guy and she was pretty sure the two of you would get along.

FAST FORWARD

You had officially made it through your first NA meeting. It had been emotional but you were glad you went. Now was the time you dreaded : meeting everyone at the studio. As much as you appreciated Talia’s efforts to help you clear your head, you weren’t exactly the social type.

As the two of you entered the studio, you were greeted by half a dozen people. As soon as he saw you, Jamal got up and have you the biggest hug.

- How did it go ? He asked.

- Uh… it went well, I guess, you answered.

You weren’t particularly intent on talking about it, especially in front of people. Fortunately, Jamal was wise enough not to elaborate. The two of you were close and he knew better than to embarrass you. Still, you were thankful for his concern. From the moment he learned you’d be moving in with them, he had been nothing but supportive. « I know you’ll get through it », he had said.

Talia introduced you to everyone.

- So, this is Y/N, our new roommate and my very best friend, she said.

- How come we never met you before ? Somebody asked.

- Well, Y/N is a scholar so she doesn’t have a lot of time for people with lesser minds, she said jokingly.

You blushed immediately. Your best friend was the most supportive person of your work and she never stopped telling you how proud she was.

- Nice to meet you all, you said a bit awkwardly.

You shook everyone’s hand and you kind of had a shock as you introduced yourself to Eminem. You remembered him from at least fifteen years ago, blonde hair and clean shaven. He was now sporting brown hair as well as a well-trimmed beard. You would never have recognised him, had the two of you crossed path in the street. You couldn’t help but think to yourself that he was rather good looking. And in pretty good shape for an older dude who was in his early fifties. In fact, he did look at least ten years younger.

- Call me Marshall, he said as soon as he shook your hand.

- Ok, Marshall, you said while looking in his deep blue eyes.

He wasn’t as cheerful and smiling as the others, but he wasn’t distant either. You had always pictured him as a loud person, but the man you had in front of you was far from it. In fact, he seemed like the quiet, rather serious type. He looked like he was staring at you as if he was trying to read into your soul.

You joined Talia and sat on one of the big leather couches while everyone got back to working. You looked around and noticed that the studio seemed like a very comfortable, soothing space. For the first time today, you eased a little.

After some time, the group decided to take a break. Most of them went outside to smoke a cigarette and get some air, but you stayed inside. You did indulge in the occasional cigarette but you had been told it would be easier for you to refrain from taking any substance. You tried to be reasonable and not get tempted by the smell.

At some point, you were left with only Marshall, who was listening to the tune they just recorded in his headphones, pushing buttons on the mixing desk.

- So, how long have you been sober ? He asked as he looked at you.

- How do… how do you know ? You asked in shock.

- I was with Talia and Jamal when they got the call about one of their friends behind in the hospital after an OD. And you playing with your NA chip kind of tipped me off, he shrugged.

- Oh. Right. Actually, today was my first meeting, you said and blushed a little.

- Recovery is hard, he pointed out. Congrats on taking the first step.

You didn’t say more and he got back to mixing, as you stayed silent and watched him being extremely focused. As you studied him, you couldn’t help but notice an AA necklace dangling from his neck.

- So you’re in recovery too ? You asked.

- Yeah. Been sober for fifteen years now, he said with a smile.

- Wow. That’s impressive.

- Doesn’t mean it’s always easy, though, he confessed. But it’s 100% worth it.

There were a hundreds of questions going through your mind, but you clearly did not know him enough to ask them. Instead, you just smiled.

- Want to give me your opinion on the track ? He offered with a smile while handing you the headphones.

- I know nothing about music but sure, why not, you said, taking place in the chair next to his.

You placed the headphones on your ears and he played the song. You closed your eyes, in order to concentrate on what you were hearing. You were amazed at how fast this man was able to rap. Yet, you could hear and understand every single word. You particularly enjoyed the rhyming schemes. And, as ever with Jamal, the music was on point.

- it’s good, you said. It’s really good.

- Good to hear, he said with a smile.

The others came back to the room and Talia seemed extatic at the sight of you and Marshall talking. She knew how shy you were and every time you talked to someone new, she saw it as some sort of victory.

- So, people, Jamal said. How about y’all come to our place after ?

Everyone cheered and agreed. From what you gathered, it was usual for the group to meet at Jamal and Talia’s after a long day at the studio, so that they could kick back and get their mind off work. Talia held your hand in hers.

- I forgot Jamal wanted to have people over, I’m so sorry she said.

- It’s fine, you reassured her. But I’d rather stay in my room, if you don’t mind.

As everyone was arriving at Talia and Jamal’s, you said your goodbyes decided to hide in your room. Not that everyone hadn’t been super nice, but you highly suspected that there would be alcohol involved, if not weed. While you were climbing up the stairs, Talia grabbed your arm.

- Are you going to be ok ? There won’t be any hard liquor or anything like that, Y/N. Just a few beers, she said.

- I know, but… it’s been a long day. Meetings, people… I’d rather rest, you reassured her.

- Sure, she said as she gave you a peck on the cheek. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.

As soon as you entered your room, you changed into some comfier clothes : a cream-colored, cashmere set. You removed your makeup and put your hair up in a bun. You weren’t going to see people anyway so why bother ? You decided to watch Friends (your favorite show on Earth) and snuggle under a throw that reminded you of the place you shared with Simon.

After a couple of episodes, you heard a unfamiliar knock.

- come in ? You said.

The door opened and you saw Marshall standing there.

- So, are you hiding ? He asked with a smile.

- Kind of, you admitted.

- You have nothing to be scared of, he said. It’s very chill, downstairs.

- There’s still booze, right ?

- Just beer.

- I don’t really trust myself, you admitted.

- You had a drinking problem too ? He asked.

- Nope. Just pills. But now that they’re gone, I swear I’d take anything just to feel remotely… whatever.

- I feel you, Marshall said.

- Do you ?

- Yes, he simply said, showing his AA necklace.

- How do you feel so comfortable in a setting like this then ? You asked, wondering if you would ever get to the same point.

- It’s been 15 years, he explained. It gets easier with time. Plus, I’ve come to value the person I’ve become much more than the person I used to be when I was using. No money in the world could convince me to come back to that.

- It’s hard, you know. Hiding here when I know what’s going on down there, I said.

- Talia already gave Jamal so much shit about it, he said with a laugh.

This made you smile. Deep down, you knew Jamal didn’t mean harm, so you were kind of hoping Talia wasn’t giving him too much of a hard time.

- Thank you, you whispered. I don’t want to deprive you of your own fun, though.

- It’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna stick around for long. I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drive. You know, change your mind …?

- Uh… sure, I replied. Give me 5 minutes so that I can get dressed ?

He left the room and you quickly put together an outfit with a pair of dark wash jeans, a black turtleneck, a pair of knee-high boots and a blazer. You put your hair in a sleek ponytail and added some mascara for good measure. You weren’y trying too hard, but I definitely wanted to make an effort. After all, you had just met him - and he was extremely attractive.

- Ready to go, you said as you emerged of my room.

- Some sweats would have been enough, you know, he said joking.

- Oh. I started blushing.

- You look great though.

He didn’t say a word more and you got downstairs.

- Y/N and I are going on a drive, Marshall announced.

- Wait a minute, Talia said before you got the chance to get through the door.

She looked at both of you.

- No messing around. No drinking. No smoking. Nothing illicit or illegal. And you’d better be back home before midnight.

- Yes, Marshall noted with a chuckle.

- Yes Mom, you said jokingly while giving her a peck on the cheek.

As you got ouf of the house, you got to an impressive car. You were never good at recognising the brands or models, but this one was huge and it seemed like it was really expensive. It was also a bit contrast with Marshall, who did not look like the over-the-top stereotypical rapper. In fact, he was wearing normal clothes - jeans and a hoodie, no luxury logo to be seen.

- Where are you taking me ? I asked.

- You’ll see, he said with a voice full of mystery.

Normally, you wouldn’t have agreed to a car ride with someone you barely knew, but you were so eager to leave the house that you did not really care.

You took place in the car and Marshall started driving.

#eminem #marshall mathers #eminem x reader #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader

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chrismcleanswife · 1 year

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𝐃𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧 & 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐔𝐕𝐄

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝! <𝟹

♥⛓ -> You were stuck up in a prison for 3 years, how great! /sarcasm

♥⛓ -> Well, It was kinda your fault being there, you know, you commited several law violations...

♥⛓ -> Anyways, you stayed 2 years in the commonal place but when you practically murdered a guard that tried to rape you that privilege finished.

♥⛓ -> Now you were placed in the high security area, leaving behind the friends you made in those 2 years since you couldn’t out that area and they couldn’t come in.

♥⛓ -> Okay, that’s crazy. But this is even more crazy!!

♥⛓ -> Because they gave you conditional liberty in exchange of appearing in a sick ass TV live program.

♥⛓ -> You were not dumb. so you accepted, anything better than being here for another 5 years lmao.

♥⛓ -> So you got the 5 things you called stuff, you packed it up in a bag that the guards gave you and being followed by two grown men you got into a car, later on a yatch and then you finally got your feet on the Island in which the show will be taking place.

♥⛓ -> ❝And here we have Y/N! The damsel on not so much distress❞ were the words that Chris said when you walked past him, you turned to him just before reaching your place in the dock and made finger guns at him, which he gladly returned with a grin.

♥⛓ -> However, after that you wanted to take a look at your new competence and so on your eyes scanned everyone near you, a brunette girl, a goth one, a small boy who seemed like a pushover, a sweet dofus, a punk with delinquent looks, a girl-boss and a mean-looking girl.

♥⛓ -> Wait.

♥⛓ -> A punk with delinquent looks?

♥⛓ -> You blinked a bit confused and turned your head to the boy again, taking a glance at his green crest and at the piercings he had.

♥⛓ -> Your eyes went wide as you recognised the boy who was at your right side.

♥⛓ -> ❝OH MY GOD. Duncan, is that you?? The prison’s green nightmare???❞ You asked, eyes open wide as an excited smile made it’s way to your lips.

♥⛓ -> The named boy turned to look at you with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow, and as soon as his blue ice eyes landed on the familiar colour of your eyes.

♥⛓ -> ❝Holy shit-!! Y/N? The murderer of section B??❞ He now asked you, while everyone looked at you two as If you were crazy or something.

♥⛓ -> ❝HELL YEAH!!❞ you shouted, now running to his arms and jumping to them, Duncan, unable to let his beloved prison buddy fall to the ground lifted your body in the air and gave you a spin, thing that made you both laugh.

♥⛓ -> ❝Oh my god! You haven’t changed a bit! The fork’s mark is still on your neck!!❞ he laughed while pointing at a scar visible on your neck, a gift from your very first meeting.

♥⛓ -> Spoiler, he almost killed you in that first meeting lmao 💀

♥⛓ -> He now left you in the ground again and as you turned your heads to the rest of people there you both grinned at their confused looks.

♥⛓ -> ❝Care to explain what’s happening you little delinquents?❞ asked Leshawna, pointing at you both with a side smile on her lips.

♥⛓ -> ❝I- I can’t believe I actually did it!!!❞ screamed a laughing Chris, almost falling to the ground from his laughter ❝I- Oh my god! They told me that you had a friend on the other section and that you both were the most feared duo out of the prison! I can’t believe I actually reunited you both!❞ he kept laughing at his own luck and after an exchange of glances between some of the campers he finally could calm down.

♥⛓ -> ❝Anyways, guys, those two JUVE interns were friends until our dear Y/N almost killed a guard, so now you have in front of your own eyes the duo of delinquents most feared in all Canada!❞ he explained with amusement while Duncan crossed his arms over his chest with a proud grin and you blew a kiss to the cute looking goth girl who you were before looking at, she mimic to catch it and an even wider grin appears on your lips.

♥⛓ -> ❝The most... feared duo of Canada...?❞ the pushover boy asked with fear, his name was Cody (you heard a little bit of conversation before) and as the words fell from his lips you winked at him, making him stutter over his own words while his cheeks burned like fire, oh he was a cute one, you thought before returning your attention to Chris.

♥⛓ -> You intertwined arms with Duncan as Chris continued speaking about the rules of this strange “summer camp” and you couldn’t help but laugh when you noticed that almost all the girls where looking at Duncan while all the boys were looking at you, and how could they not? You are fucking hot and dangerous, and that makes you sexy withouth any other word.

♥⛓ -> Finding the interest on both funny, you lifted your body using your toes and whispered what was happening in your prison buddy’s ears, he just laughed while turning his head to the girls and giving the brunette one a wink, she just huffed with a little hint of red on the cheeks and looked away.

♥⛓ -> You were going to have fun in this camp, being with your ol’ delinquent partner in crime and surrounded by a bunch of cute and pathetic boys and a cute and hot looking goth girl was the better summer plan you ever had.

♥⛓ -> And while you darkly chuckled to yourself you thought that maybe... just maybe... you could manage to commit an atrocity or two in this place.

#Duncan #Duncan x reader #tdi Duncan x reader #tdwt Duncan x reader #Total Drama #Drama Total #Total Drama x reader #Total Drama Island x reader #Tdi x reader #Total Drama Island x fem!reader #female reader #Duncan x female!reader #Duncan x fem!reader #Duncan x female reader

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ashdreams2023 · 11 days

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Hiii, could I request a severus snape and little sister reader where she's the opposite of him and so all the students love her until someone insults him one day and she's all snarky and a miniature version of snape and everyone's like ".....maybe they are alike....." while severus looks on like a proud parent??? I love your fics so much!! Thankss!!

The same tree

Severus snape x professor sister reader

The student body was in shambles the day you were announced as a new staff member, the name snape was enough to send shivers down some students backs.

They barely handled one snape, let alone two!

Everyone expected the worst, 2.0 snape female version then you got to your first class, it wasn’t like anything they had in mind.

Heck you gave house points and they paid attention to the lessons.

"She’s human, oh my god she’s not evil!"

It spread pretty quickly how nice and patient you were, you didn’t show any favoritism towards anyone nor did you encourage any rivalry in your class, as long as they passed it was a win for you.

Your office hours were filled with students coming to you for help, some even asking for help of topics other than what you teach, sometimes asking about stories of your youth but none dared to ask about your brother.

But there were times were kids can get way too comfortable in matters that have no business with them, unfortunately for a certain fourth year Ravenclaw he learned his lesson the hard way.

"I can’t believe that git took points because I added a point to his lesson! It’s fucking ridiculous, he’s a selfish idiot who only wants his way and everyone else is wrong"

"Jesus calm down mate, it’s only ten points you’ll live and he’s like the professor so…"

The Ravenclaw rolled his eyes "I know the book, I read it piece to piece I know my way around this stuff, he’s just one bitter old son of a bitch-"

"Excuse me you little bird" the boy froze as he felt a hand touching his shoulder, he looked up to meet your piercing dark eyes, they had the dangerously familiar feeling to those of their potion master.

"Professor i-"

"No no no…go on, continue what you were about to say so the oh so great Ravenclaw knows everything, because what? Because you read an outdated, basic, dusty ass potion book"

The boy swallowed, your tone was so different, you weren’t smiling and it reminded him of being schooled by severus snape himself.

"Why so quiet? Snake got your tongue?" You smiled proudly at the look of terror on the boy’s face "Let this be a lesson to you little bird, my brother is no idiot and without him little airheads and know it alls would be dead by now, so know your place, am I understood?" You tightened your grip on his shoulder.

"Yes ma’m!"

"And 30 points from Ravenclaw for showing disrespect to faculty staff members"

The boy’s jaw dropped but didn’t dear argue back and sprinted away with his friends, you couldn’t care less that students were watching, they call all spread rumors or whatever.

"Oh my god…she is like him…"

"Shush she’s gonna hear you! At least now we know not to overstep it"

You sighed and left the great hall, you pumped into your brother by the end of the day, he arched an eyebrow at you when you causally sat down and sipped your tea.

"I see you’ve made quite the impression today"

You shrugged "They’re just stupid kids, it was about time they learn anyways"

Severus leaned back on his armchair "You sound awfully familiar to me, I suppose I am rubbing off on you"

"The apples may look different but they all belong to the same tree" you smirked.

"You’re still terrible at potions though" He remarked knowing well how atrocious you were at his best interest.

"Hey! I was defending your honor"

You glared at him and he glared back then after a few seconds of intense looks you two snorted at each other and went back to having your regular sitting for the day.

Thank you for your kind words and glad you do 🥰

#imagine #pro severus snape #severus snape x y/n #platonic severus snape x reader #severus snape fanfiction #severussnape #harry potter requests #severus snape headcanon #severus x reader #severus snape x you #severus snape x reader #severus #severus snape #snapedom #pro severus

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notdiabolika · 18 days

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Sakamakis Defend Their S/O From Bullying.

Whatever may have happened, they're here for you. Kind of.

[Português]

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“Oi, chichinashi, where ya think you're going?”

He’s probably the one who started it, being someone who likes to make fun of others. But he realizes it went too far when others joined and you left the room without saying anything. He'd try to go after you and say sorry.

“Y’know, if it bothers you that much I won't do it again. Only if you're asking for it. I'll take care of whoever tries to go too far with you...”

"I'll take care" translates to "nose punching".

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“Nfu, you make such a kawaii face when you're upset.”

He's taking advantage of the fact you're vulnerable to slide his arms around you, mess with your hair and tease, most likely trying to distract and make you pay attention to >him<. The only difference from Laito’s usual behavior is that, actually, he takes this more seriously than he's letting on.

Out of nowhere, it appears that one of the people who made fun of you all of a sudden had a super dirty secret released to the public!

“Eh? I wonder who did that… ♪”

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“…”

Oh. These people don't know who they're messing with. They can feel Kanato’s stare piercing through their souls, but most likely will only whisper something about him being weird. Once given the chance, he'll pull you closer and suck your blood pretty aggressively – he’s incredibly upset.

“How dare they talk like this?! You're my doll. Can't they see it?”

He'll need a lot to calm down. If something like that happens again, you can expect him throwing around your bully’s stuff and screaming a lot.

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“Haa… have you all ran out of better things to do?”

He's usually so quiet, so when he suddenly opens his eyes and starts defending you, it isn't a surprise to find out everyone goes silent. He wouldn't bring up the subject again, but if you did talk to him about it, he’d smile a bit teasingly.

“What? I simply decided to respond since you weren't doing anything. Don't mistake it for kindness. I'm a vampire after all. If you want to pay me back, maybe give me a sip of your blood.”

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“... Shut up!”

A straight punch to their face and Subaru is now in detention and/or receiving a scolding from Reiji. He didn't think nor hesitate as soon as everyone started laughing and you were left keeping your head down. Of course, he'll still blatantly deny that he cares about you, but it’s getting clearer.

“Don’t get the wrong idea! They were asking for a punch on their face anyway. I-it’s not about you, so don’t be so damn selfish!”

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“I believe some students are in need of serious reprimand.”

Normally, he wouldn't care much about bullying, but he will intervene if it's getting more common and out of hand. Reiji has a lot of influence in Ryoutei Academy. He builds his image around being proactive and serious, so if he tells something should stop, it will stop. A lot of people respect or fear him by his attitude alone.

“Don't worry, it won't happen again. But I suppose that if such a pattern repeats itself, we might have some students expelled very soon.”

(shameless redesign from my Instagram not_so_diabolik_lovers)

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fandom #diaboliklovers #sakamaki brothers #diabolik lovers headcanon #ayato sakamaki #ayatosakamaki #laito sakamaki #laitosakamaki #kanato sakamaki #shu sakamaki #shusakamaki #reiji sakamaki #reijisakamaki

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guide-to-world-domination · 1 year

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I can’t stop imagining spider becoming an absolute badass, like the amount of ideas literally keep me up at night. For example, imagine that one day, Neytiri just goes off on Spider and says the most foul things to him - stuff that was so horrendous, even people who equally hated Spider being around had to try and calm her down, because what she was saying was completely out of line. To spider, he’s heard this all from the People, the Scientists, the McCoskers - but Neytiri always strikes a cord that can’t be fixed or shrugged off easily. The only thing that snaps him from his thoughts, was what Neytiri said next while she was being pulled away from the situation.

“You will never be One of the People. Your father is a Demon, and your mother is worse for ever loving him and producing such Spawn”

There it is the breaking point. Spider has always turned the other cheek when it comes to people that insult him or insult him by comparing him to his father. He always found that retaliation and tantrums only proved his accusers assumptions correct. But nobody. Nobody insults his mother. Spider could have screamed back and shouted bloody murder at her, but at this point, he just doesn’t care. She isn’t worth trying to prove himself to. His siblings know who he is, that’s enough.

From that day on, he doesn’t go to High Camp again and doesn’t wear his loincloth. He starts wearing cargo pants and tank tops, but he keeps his armbands, knife and jewellery. He wants to come into his own identity, but he can’t shed what remains of his past life (trying to be part of the Omaticaya). Personally, I don’t think that Norm and the other Scientists wouldn’t care too much about what spider does until he crosses a line or breaks a rule that they haven’t outright told him (that kind of behaviour is traumatising, I would know 🙂). So when figures out to give himself piercings and tattoos, they are livid. They are shocked at the transformation - where painted blue stripes used to be, there were inky black stripes that passed over every limb and even on his face; where dirty brown locs used to be, golden blond hair was fashioned into a Viking braid reaching down his back (similar to a kuru).

The only person that understands and doesn’t overreact is Max. Personally, that man was a dark horse in his family before he came to Pandora, I know it in my soul (Headcanon coming soon or after this post). He takes it on himself to support Spider and nurture his clear talents. He wishes he could have raised spider as his own, but knew that he would be shunned by his colleagues for raising his son - he couldn’t be seen as a disgrace after his time as a child.

Spider had a number of talents and skills, including Engineering, Chemistry, Languages, Marksmanship and martial arts. Max helped to nurture each and everyone. Some days, he would have Spider build and repair weapons and tech. Other days, Spider would learn chemical reactions or a new language. Every evening, Max would instruct Spider in combat and would exercise and lift with him to encourage him. Over the course of a month or two, Spider was unrecognisable. He took in information like a sponge and soon Max was running out of things to teach him. Piloting Samsons and Scorpions - took a few tries, but Spider was truly a born pilot like Paz. Stealth and parkour - He was already a natural, but he was fooling Na’vi warriors more often than not after a week of practice.

Eventually, when Jake started performing raids on RDA Trains, Spider knew it was time to put this all into practice. You see, deep down, he still wanted to prove himself to the People, but not so he could be one of them. He wanted to prove himself, to show them what he forged himself into despite them. However, he knew Jake would never approve him going along - he was still a child. The thought to Spider was ludicrous; Spider never believed he was a child, because no child goes through what he did and remains a child. So he decides to go anyway and doesn’t bother with permission. Though, he does ask Max, who understandably forbids this from happening. After reasoning that he would be safer if he got support to complete this venture, Max relented after hours of back and forth.

And thus, Araña was born. Imagine Winter Soldier getup (Hydra-controlled Bucky, not White Wolf armour) where the half mask acts as his rebreather so he doesn’t risk glass from a regular mask entering his eyes. All manners of weapons are strapped to his body including an Assault Rifle, a revolver (nobody knows that it was actually Quaritch’s revolver that delivered the fatal shot to Grace), A bow and quiver, a LOT of knives and a grenade or two. He looks terrifying but despite this Max feels proud - not about his boy going to fight in a war that has devastated everything he loves, but because this kid, his son, has stepped into his role as a defender and Max is proud of how far Spider has come to reach his goals.

Queue Spider being the biggest menace to RDA society that has ever existed. There was no reason for the Na’vi Ground forces to blow up the rail line, because Spider had already hijacked the train and pulled the breaks. The look of an anonymous Sky Person swing around the train killing and disarming grown men confused everyone in the raiding party, especially the Sully’s. There was something familiar about the acrobatics of this mysterious warrior, the answer on the tips of their tongues. It was only after Spider saved Lo’ak and Neteyam from the missile strike, that everyone realised who this person was. Nobody believed it until Spider spoke and then all he’ll broke loose.

I apologise if this too long or weird, I just needed to get this out of my head. I’ll definitely be adding to this given time, regardless of whether or not people like it, and the only thing that can stop me is my undiagnosed AuDHD.

Farewell to all, Yours sincerely,

Your Favourite Evil Overlord

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oldhalloweentape · 6 days

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🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader ⛏️

(ALT/Goth, Mostly Goth Leaning Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Another request by @goohts , such a great supporter throughout all of this! On top of that, I have something to announce at the end of this post!)

- Right off the bat, such a great dynamic, when they first saw you they immediately went to introduce themselves— Compliment after compliment spilling from their lips.

- Asks you sooo many questions on how you decided on going for that style, means well of course, just wants to know the importance of it you as a person.

- If you’re a goth in particular? They definitely refers a whole lot to the extinct culture of the Goths, you know— The Germanic ones that wrecked the Western Roman Empire with extreme brutality and were the cause of medieval Europe emerging.

- Starts learning about the culture and history of your group so they can talk about something you like and is a part of your life.

- Dance moves? Learnt some of them so they can look “cool” at the Goth club with you, like that one video of that nerdy guy with the quarter that moves up and down like he’s on one of those kiddy revolving horses, (here) it’s a bit silly but it’s heartwarming nonetheless.

- Anyways, if you’re taller, shorter, or the same height, they can and will borrow some of your accessories/clothing. Cheeky about it too, as they show off what they borrowed as proof of them dating you, especially to Mauga.

- Can and will buy you things as a thank you for letting them borrow your stuff, likes buying stuff like that at a thrift store— That kind of stuff has personality to them.

- Piercings? They have one as well so I think they’d be giddy to show off the various extra piercings they have in this ornate jewelry box their Abuela gave Sloane specifically for them.

- Tattoos? I think we already know the answer to this one, so proud of their own and will admire yours, asking more questions as they ask whether or not yours has meaning behind them as they touch the inked skin.

- If you ask, they’d be up for getting some more alongside you, maybe even buy some extra piercings for you, goes in tandem with their love language of quality time and gift giving.

- All the while chattering about the history about both, they’re just so giddy and supportive.

- Will help and encourage you to indulge in dark facts about history if you’re into that, feed into it as they take you to a morbid museum of some sort as a date, only if you let them go to a dinosaur one afterwards.

- If you do makeup, they will be astonished by it and practically beg for you to do theirs.

- Can’t handle standing still for too long (firm ADHD Venture believer) but will accept kisses in between as a consolation prize for doing so. On top of watching an analysis video on rock formations, if it’s good they’ll be almost as transfixed as they are when they look at you.

- Once it’s done, there is a high chance of them coming back, makeup smeared or dirty and begging for you to do it again, will use the puppy eyes and the pouting lip tactic.

- Loves when you have your makeup on, thinks so cool and interesting on you, but they also love messing it up, if you catch my drift.

- I can just imagine after a particularly long time of Venture being away cause of their job, with a mix of smeared makeup on your faces after a making out, a smug grin on their face as they say something like, “Aw did you really miss me that much?”

- Boastful as all hell when it comes to the fact that, them a goofy ass archeologist was able to bag someone like you.

- Brags about you a lot whenever you come up in conversation and jumps at the chance of taking you to their job so they show you off.

- Introducing you to other people usually goes like this, “Yeah this is Reader, my partner— Looks absolutely amazing don’t they?” All the while holding the side of your waist with one arm with a self satisfied look on their face.

(Alright!!! So, after a bit of consideration I’m going to start writing for a character from Overwatch that I’ve really liked for years now, Junkrat! I like them dirty Ig lol.)

#Spotify #overwatch x reader #venture overwatch #venture x reader #overwatch 2 #venture ow2

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bunglegaydogs · 9 months

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BSD CH.109 SPOILERS AGAIN

So, I said this in my other post, but I really want this to be just focusing on that one point because I actually lowkey believe that Dazai would pull some shit like this.

So, my theory is obviously that Dazai isn't dead and he wasn't actually shot; there's a fucking mountain of evidence pointing to it just smelling so fishy like, where's all the blood? Where's how gorey getting shot in the head at point blank is? Where's the bullet wound on the wall? TW for gore, but when you get shot in the head, typically your brain/muscle and all that good stuff will explode out of the back of your head as the bullet pierces through and splatters it all on the wall (if you're in front of a wall like this mf was).

He should NOT have been able to talk. He should not have been able to laugh, he should not have been able to MOVE POSITIONS BECAUSE YES, HE MOVED POSITIONS.

THIS is the position he "dies" in.

And THIS is supposedly the position he's in next; when and how did this motherfucker move? And if this is the camera that Fyodor is watching, then has someone somehow tampered with it? Man, I don't know.

ANYWAYS.

My theory on how Dazai can possibly survive this shit is that it wasn't a real bullet; and listen, I KNOW that we literally watched Chuuya shoot him three other times and we see the blood, the bullet going through his body and hitting the wall, and we see that he has been shot. That's fucking clear as day; my theory, however, because Dazai is this type of cunning bastard, is that that one round in the gun wasn't a real bullet.

Listen, I know I might be clutching at straws here, but PLEASE hear me out.

My theory is that that round was a paintball. Which would explain 1. the slight dent in his head and 2. the "blood" on his forehead. And, can I just point out how bright those fucking flashes are? Nobody can see anything when Chuuya pulls the trigger; however, the next two times he does, we can see it perfectly fine. I don't know, seems suspicious lol. Anyways.

I think that Dazai either somehow got a hold of the gun that Chuuya has or maybe gave it to him before he ever even went to Meursault, and Chuuya fired one round into his shoulder; he's showing Fyodor that, yes, this is a real bullet. This is a real gun. Then, he shoots him in the head with the paintball bullet. I thought that when Dazai started deciding to shout "Where the hell are you aiming you god damn clutz?!" That it was a signal or him trying to tell Chuuya, who's still in there, "Shoot me in the head next. Aim good." or something; Dazai is NEVER that profane or like that at all. Maybe it's strong emotions/words that get through to the vampires. I don't know. But yeah, so, Chuuya shoots him in the head. Then, he shoots him in the shoulder and in the side to once again prove that it is in fact a real gun, loaded with real bullets. And so Fyodor now thinks that he has won; where in actuality, Dazai is just really injured, but still alive enough to touch Chuuya whilst Fyodor's back is maybe turned from the cameras. Also, we don't know what happened when Fyodor wasn't looking and he was talking to Sigma. Either way, I feel as if he's going to think he's won and think it's all over, then idk Nikolai somehow appears? Where the fuck is that guy? What's going on with the poison? Hm. Anyways, and so yeah.

Maybe I'm clutching at straws because I just refuse to believe that Asagiri is going to kill off Dazai. I don't know. Bro, I'm still just trying to hold out hope for Sigma as well. Too many people are either presumed dead or are in actual like fatal positions and honestly I feel like fucking this;

Anyways, thanks for reading this. I am emotionally distressed.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #bsd 109 #ch 109 #bsd ch 109 #chapter 109 #skk #soukoku #manga #i am fucked

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chaotic-on-main · 10 months

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Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you.

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

“You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

If you'd like to be a part of my taglist to be notified for not only the rest of this fic but for my other writings, please go here!

☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

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baddygab-bi · 1 month

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Okay, episode thoughts:

First: glad they took the bachelor call from this episode so there was actually time for stuff. I see how it would’ve fit in, but I feel like all the stories this week were actually developed and we got that sneak for next time.

HenRen. I guessed the daughter thing. I’m happy they did this. Was it sorta weird to compare her to a dog? Yeah, but I get what the show was doing. I think the actress is a little cutie and from what we’ve seen and heard so far, she’s crushing it. Happy new addition to the 118 fam.

On the flip side. I believed the leaks, so I wasn’t shocked about the nun thing, but dear god it was even worse that I thought it would be.

I knew they building up a straight af Eddie, and it’s reached the point where I truly don’t think they’re going to walk it back. I know people are holding out hopes for a drunken buddie kiss at the bachelor party or a longing look at the wedding, but no. No. This episode was literally about not knowing who someone is, including yourself, and they used it to make sure people knew how much Eddie loves sex with his girlfriend, except when he can’t imagine her not as a nun (his dick was literally a factor in every single one of this scenes).

I love Buck and Tommy so much. Also I noticed that Lou had pierced ears and i love that for him. Anyway, I love their story rn and I really hope Tim decides to keep him around. Especially since Eddie and Marisol are end game, we need Buck with someone who’s good for him, and Tommy really seems like that person right now.

I didn’t love that neither Buck or Maddie had any clue about him being bi. I get Buck not realizing, but him saying he’s checked out a guy’s ass before as his only “gay thing” felt weird. Literally could’ve said he realized he might’ve had a crush on a high school friend, or got too into the football players on his team, or anything. Maddie could’ve had her little call backs to the time she joked about setting him and Josh up. I’m not saying they both had to know, but the fact that Buck was like “yeah, I had no clue” feels like they were purposely saying that for the audience or something. Like “I know, it came out of nowhere, but just roll with it.”

Bobby gives Eddie the worst advice. Or maybe the writers keep putting Eddie with the worst girls, who’s to say.

I saved a joke I made after seeing the leaks awhile ago: Here it is now, I want credit as the first person to make this joke a week ago:

“Marisol’s a nun? Wow, guess her only personality trait really is being a sister.”

Episode rating: 5/10. I loved HenRen, I loved Tevan. But the sexy catholic shit brought it down

#911 spoilers #evan buckley #eddie diaz #henren #tevan #7x05 #911 abc

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 2 months

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Find the word

Thanks @mysticstarlightduck for the tag!

My words: loyal, haste, frost, glory

Your words: familiar, equal, pierce, door

Tagging with 0 pressure: @aziz-reads @andyswritings @cowboybrunch @blind-the-winds @little-peril-stories @eccaiia @jezifster @mk-writes-stuff @reininginthefirewriting @badluck990 @addicted2coke-theothercoke @i-can-even-burn-salad @sleepywriter00 @finxi-writes @finickyfelix @albatris or anyone else who wants to hop on!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @fairy-tales-of-yesterday y'all want to do this? Go ahead

Keep reading for:

Noelle's research part two (part one was here)

Jack, Jill, and Beau climb a beanstalk

TWO SOTL passages???? Anyways Jack is having a good time

Shapeshifting chitchat

(Dis)loyal - from The Secret Portal Part Two (article Noelle reads)

When I first joined the Aequales, I fully believed in the ideals that were preached. Now, I am unsure of what to do. It is true, the Aequales wants to bring peace to our world. The Aequales wants Inutilia to have the same rights as other Alii. As a fader, I still believe that Inutilia should not be treated the way they have in the past. I believe that Raissa Kamanzi’s methods are flawed. But Atsila McLain is not who we’ve been looking for. I had nothing but respect for the woman when I first joined. But as the years have gone on, I have found her to be insufferable. She’s demanding, harsh, zealoted, and disloyal to those around her. She doesn’t even seem to care much for her family, only obsessed with the end goals in mind. The ends do not always justify the means, and I am starting to believe she is no better than Raissa Kamanzi. It seems that even though Atsila does not appear to be lying about the rights of Inutilia, it is awfully convenient that her best friend is Inutil. Due to her being in high political standing in her neighborhood, having a high socioeconomic status, her connections to both the Sector 8 and 9 governments, and umbrakinesis, it is no wonder she is able to persuade the masses to her side. The Aequales does have many Inutilia members, some of them ex-Refuga, but there are a disproportionate amount of powered individuals, many of them using the Aequales’ guise of morality as an excuse to be bigoted to Aequalis Inutilia. Does Atsila kick out these bigots for not holding her ideals? No. She uses the advantage. She uses their pull to gain more and more followers. More and more people away from Raissa Kamanzi. I admit, it’s a brilliant strategy. But I cannot stand for a person who turns a blind eye to the very thing she’s supposedly fighting against just because the ends will justify the means.

Loyalty is a strong theme in TSP why do I never use it lol

Haste - from School of the Legends Year One

Outside, Jack, Jill, and Beau stood around the giant beanstalk, all armed with helmets, rope, and sickels around their waists, just in case one of them fell and had to dig into the side of the stalk in a haste. They tied the rope around each of their waists--Beau leading the way and Jack taking up the rear. “Alright,” said Beau, digging his foot into the side of the beanstalk and grabbing onto loose tendrils sticking out of it. “Let’s do this.” He began to climb up the side of the beanstalk. After he was high enough, Jill followed him. Jack looked up the beanstalk again. He couldn’t see the top, and today it was very cloudy--it may have been above the clouds. That wasn't a good sign. There was no way they’d reach the top, but surely Jill and Beau knew that. They were just having a bit of fun. And Jack was going to have fun, too. Once it was his turn, he followed his sister up the side of the giant beanstalk. The beanstalk was a lot easier to climb than Jack initially thought. It was about as thick as a tree trunk and had many layers of intertwined, well, stalks. Jack did slip a few times, but so did Beau and Jill. Maybe they were all average climbers. After what seemed like hours, Jack was beginning to get tired. How much longer until they were at the top? Jack strengthened his grip before he dared to tilt his head up. When he saw it was still forever, he felt weakened. Maybe if I looked down I could see how far we’ve come. Nope. That was a rubbish idea. “Beau!” Jack called upward. “Yes?” Beau yelled back. “Is there any way we could possibly speed this up?” “Yeah!” said Jill. “It’s starting to get a little less fun than expected.” “Okay,” said Beau. “Just give me a second.” Jack tilted his head back to look at Beau, who appeared to be concentrating. A tickling sensation on his chest caused Jack to jump. Parts of the beanstalk were wrapping around his torso, tight enough to be firm, and yet loose enough to allow him to breathe. “Hold on!” Beau said. Jack looked back up just in time to see his cousin thrust his hand groundward, and the three of them were shot toward the sky. A scream seemed to escape Jack’s lips, but he didn’t hear any sound. He struggled to keep his eyes open against the speed. He couldn’t find any way to speak, so silently willed Beau to stop, or at least slowdown. After a moment or so, it appeared to have worked. Well, it didn’t--Beau just stopped.

Not the most exciting passage imo but it was my only use of the word

Frost - from School of the Legends Year One

Jack stood with his feet just over shoulder-width apart, his left foot slightly behind his right. He focused his eyes on the wheelbarrow a few yards ahead. He pulled his left arm back and shot it forward. A stream of ice leapt out of his palm, striking the tire of the wheelbarrow. Jack laughed, spinning around. “Didja see that?!” “Sure did,” Jill said, grinning broadly. “You’re getting better at that.” Jack was sure his face was gonna split--that’s how hard he was smiling. He bounced on the balls of his feet to look back at the frozen wheel. Sure, he was aiming for the bed of the wheelbarrow, but honestly, who cared? Certainly not Jack. It had been a few weeks since their adventure up the beanstalk, and ever since the surprise letter, Jack had been trying out these ice powers he’d apparently possessed his whole life--that was something Jack still thought came out of the blue, although in the time that had past, it was starting to become more natural. His aim, still, was not terrible, not great, just average--so Jack was still Jack. “Thanks,” Jack said, responding to his sister. “Aw, this is wicked, ain’t it?” “You bet it is!” Jill said, crossing over to kneel beside the wheelbarrow. “You shot this out of your hand! I couldn’t even do that if I tried!” “Have you tried?” Jill pursed her lips. She stood again and backed up until she was next to Jack. She mimicked his earlier thrust of the palm. “Yeah, I tried.” “It’s still a little weird that I can do it,” Jack admitted. “Why? Because it’s above-average?” “Well, yeah, actually.” “Come on, Jack!” Jill said. “Stop being such a puss and enjoy this!” “Oh, I’m enjoying this alright,” Jack said, smiling again at the wheel. “It just feels… weird? Off-book? Out-of-character?” “Hey, if you want to feel more like your ‘old self,’ that appears to be an average amount of frost on that wheel.” Jack tilted his head slightly. “Yeah, you’re bang on with that.” Jill laughed, giving him a playful push on the shoulder.

Glory Importance (literally the closest synonym and it was only said once) - from The Secret Portal Part Two (Maddie POV)

“So, what does Liam have planned for you today?” she asked. “I dunno,” I said, shrugging. “We basically go over what each animal can do, and the importance of each one in a given situation. I assume more of that?” “Is that all y’all do?” I shrugged. “Pretty much. I mean, we focus on some combat.” “What does Liam turn into?” “I dunno, wood, diamonds, bricks. Water, sometimes.” “Which one of you is more powerful?” “I think technically he is,” I said. The doors slid open to an empty dining hall and we stepped in. I went to the replicator, ordered a granola bar, and then turned back into the elevator. “What Level are y’all again?” Kelsey asked as we stepped in. “Training room.” “I’m a Level-2, he’s Level-3,” I said. “So he is?” “I mean, shapeshifting is weird. The Levels aren’t related to each other.” “What are they?” “Uh, people, animals, textures,” I said. “One Level does all living things, and the highest Level can shift into anything. They’re called omnimorphs.” Kelsey let out a whistle. “Imagine being an omnimorph.” She cocked her head. “Could an omnimorph replicate the internal structure of an Alii?” I thought about it for a second. “Like, replicate their powers?” I shrugged. “Maybe. Do you think Hye-Jin is some level of omnimorph?” “I dunno,” Kelsey said as the doors slid open. “She could. It may not even be related.” “Either way,” I said as the two of us stepped into the training room, “omnimorphs are pretty rare. There hasn’t been a recorded one in a century.”

Levels are up to chance I'm figuring it out. Think Maddie is more powerful but unsure.

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gen0c1de · 7 months

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Stardew Valley Bachelors when the Farmer gets a new tattoo

I got a new tattoo, it is similar to what my dad had but on the opposite arm and mirrored. If you want details or if you wanna see it I made a post about it. I will make one for the Bachelorettes, just need motivation I guess lmao Requests are open! TW: Mentions of pain, mentions of blood, mentions of smoking, if i forgot anything please let me know

Alex

Doesn't notice right away.

He's an airhead, he's focused on throwing the Gridball up in the air.

When he does look at you, still doesn't notice it right away.

Lets face it, this boy doesn't expect a change from you, you're a "Boring farmer".

When he does finally notice it, he takes a HARD double-take.

Super shocked and excited for you.

Will ask questions about it like: "Did it hurt", "What does it mean", "Is it something that means a lot to you", etc.

He want's a tattoo but is scared of the pain and doesn't wanna miss working out for a while to let it heal.

He will have a tattoo vicariously through you.

Elliott

Notices right away.

This man is able to tell if you went to the dentist, he's THAT observant istg.

Will ask a few questions about it, but not bombard you like Alex.

Studies it and pinpoint any potential mistake right away so you can get it fixed right away.

Ask to take a picture or two so he can make a book about it and use your tattoo as the cover, with credits of course.

Is honestly proud of you for having the guts to get a tattoo done.

He personally believes the body is a temple that should not be tainted with ink, piercings, or hair dyes.

He keeps those opinions to himself though, not wanting to upset someone by giving his unwanted opinion.

Harvey

Notices it when you have your check-up.

He may be older and a doctor, but he thinks it's really cool.

Asks only a few questions about why you got it, but mainly focuses on the health of it.

Examins it throughout the healing period to make sure it's not infected, that you're not allergic to the ink, and that you're taking proper care of yourself.

Will come to the farm every now and then to check on your tattoo as well to make sure you're letting it heal and not damaging it by working on the farm.

If you want him to put Aquaphor on it, he will, just come to his office when it opens and closes and he will do that for you.

Doesn't want a tattoo, thinks they're cool, but is terrified of the risks and the pain.

Sam

He's obsessed with cool stuff.

With that being said, he notices it right off the bat.

Immediately bombards you with questions, his eyes sparkling.

Wants most of the juicy details of you finding what you wanted, deciding on it, before the tattoo, during, and after.

Just don't tell him about the bleeding, he's not into that stuff... makes him queasy.

Talks about how much he wants a tattoo but can't get one yet since he doesn't have the money and his parents don't want him to get one while he lives with them.

He already got piercings without talking to them first, defiantly not going to get a tattoo yet.

If you're good at drawing, he will ask you to draw fake tattoos on him so he can get the feeling of what its like to have one, without it being permanent.

Talks to you a lot more now, finding you to be really cool.

Sebastian

Also another one to notice right away.

He likes things that are "Rebellious" and stuff his mom and Demetrious don't want him to do.

Will have you walk with him while he has a cigarette so he can talk about the tattoo with you.

Asks you a few questions, but due to him being a bit timid and having anxiety he doesn't ask a lot of them.

Is totally fine with you just telling him details without him asking, prefers it that way anyway.

You can tell him the bloody stuff, not at all bothered by it, he thinks its cool anyway.

Ask him about if he wants one!

He will be happy that you care enough to ask about his interests!

Please!! It's fucking adorable!

He will tell you how he wants one but doesn't have the money for it.

If you offer to pay for his tattoo he will get excited!

He won't show his excitement, but you know he is because he actually SMILES A LITTLE!

You both will be looking for a good first tattoo for this man!

Shane

Never notices it unless you straight up shove it in his face saying "LOOK! A TATTOO"

Or Marnie/Jazz will talk about it when he's around, then he will notice it.

Thinks its neat, not something super exciting though.

Might ask about it, might not.

#sdv #stardew valley #stardew #sdv farmer #stardew valley farmer #stardew farmer #sdv headcanons #sdv bachelors

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sweeteaacakes · 8 days

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╰┈➤ ❝ WHB || Dance With The Devil ❞

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° The Bride & The Beast, Part 3

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° TW: canon divergence (rewrite), violence, religious stuffs (?), heresy (?)

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° [part 1] [part 2]

»»-----------►

Hannah stared in awe. Her pumping heart made him chuckle as if he could hear it.

“Is it an angel's nature to kill a woman? Without mercy or shame?” The beast, Satan, turned himself to the angel while keeping Hannah close to his side.

“Hmmm… They say you would go to Hell if you go around killing innocent people,” he continued. “That's what the angels I know say to humans, anyway.”

“... You showed your true form...” The angel said unclear if he is referring to the beast or the human and then continued.

“We serve and worship God. But did I tell you? Nothing else matters. Whether people die or not, it does not affect God at all.”

The angel explained. The indifference to his voice somehow, for some reason, made Hannah’s blood boil. Maybe it's for the various scriptures she read and oral sermons she heard, but she refuses to believe such statements.

Satan raised the corners of his lips, revealing his dangerous sharp white fangs. His chuckles rumbled on his chest.

It was at that moment the angel lost his composure.

“Satan...! Are you trying to stand against me? I don't think that's a good idea.” He smiled to mock the demon. “Especially not when your powers are sealed within the contract with Solomon. You… you're no better than the vermin before me right now.”

The angel spoke with disgust and confidemce that victory is on his side. He raised his scythe and pointed at the thing in front of them. Hannah's eyes fell at Minhyeok's corpse.

The desperation from before turned into something else.

Something boiling that made her teeth grit.

“I would be careful who you are pointing at, Gabriel.” Satan chuckled, confusing the angel whose name is Gabriel. “That thing… seems to be their dear friend… and you just killed them…”

Gabriel furrowed his brows. Puzzled he frowned.

“I'm the devil of fury… The rage of Solomon's daughter… is flowing into me!” Satan shouted and burst in laughter, making Hannah flinch.

“So sweet!!! Her rage!!!!”

Hannah trembled at the demon. He licked his watering mouth so obscenely and sang.

“It's so sweet I want to swallow her whole~!”

“... ... eh..?” Hannah pursed her lips at the devil's feverish words. She cupped her cheeks as she's feeling it getting warm which made her ask… “What in hell…?”

When she felt his giant hand touching her side, she yelped at the heat it emanated. In contrast to the little gentleness from before, Satan became more comfortable and held her with firmness to touch her whole body, caressing her with his giant thumb.

“A-Ah!?” Hannah gasped. She can feel the devil's ecstasy and something about to burst from his body.

“It makes me feel like… I can even kill God right now…!” Satan laughed in his ecstasy, making the angel, Gabriel, more mad.

“Solomon!!!” Gabriel growled. His eyes pierced Hannah while calling the name of an old enemy he saw just by looking at her.

“...Fine…! I'll leave… for today... But,” Gabriel halted. Satan, in bliss, didn't notice the maniac smile spreading on the angel's face who raised his scythe to slit his own chest.

“!?!?” Hannah's eyes widened at the blood flowing down the angel's chest. The next thing she saw was the scarlet liquid toward her direction.

“Hah!?!?” She felt something unbearably hot on her own chest, snapping Satan back in reality. The blood scorched then turned into ashes revealing a mark.

She tried fervently to get it off but without avail. Her skin seems to have absorbed it.

This entertained the angel who snickered at the sight.

“I'll be seeing you again… Hannah…” Gabriel said before being engulfed in the light that disappeared with him.

“... ... ..." Satan took a moment to process what just happened and shouted with all his lungs.

"That damned bastard!!!”

He gritted his teeth and looked at Hannah. He held her like a doll, bringing her closer to glare at the mark left.

“H-Hey!!” Hannah shouted. She tried to push his giant head away and squiggle her way out from the grip. Succeeding at her attempt, as the demon allowed, Hannah huffed and sighed.

Again, she tried to wipe away the mark without result and gave up grumbling. Her gaze turned at her friend instead and fist curled in a ball.

“...Minhyeok…” she called his name. “He protected me from that attack and now he's…” Hannah bit her lips. She kneeled to hold him... "That... angel... still managed to leave a mark on me..."

“If you're gonna blame yourself, then you better do something else.”

“What..?” Hannah looked at Satan, questioning his words.

With his sharp nails, the black beast pointed at her chest where the angel's mark is.

“You're right to worry. That mark. It's a brand that angels use to their prey.

Once branded, you won't be able to evade them. Hundreds and thousands of angels will flock on you like piranhas. They will devour you and won't leave even a single bone.” Satan explained.

Hannah bit her lips and glanced at Minhyeok with guilt.

“No…” Satan continued. “You're Solomon's child… they might not let a common angel touch you… But the three seraphims will surely try to cut you in three pieces and share it with everyone.”

“Solomon's child. You and that angel keep calling me that…” Hannah pointed out. “Solomon… you mean the ancient king...? The wise king who made a contract with the 72 devils…?”

Hannah casted her gaze down, pondering…

Satan's smile widened with pleasure. He bent on his knee to meet her eye-level (tried to, atleast, considering how massive he is).

“That, he is. And you're his descendant. I, Satan, answered your call and came here at your aid and take you.”

Hannah tilted her head to question. The demon continued.

“Come to Hell with me,” he offered, raising his hand to put his index finger under her chin. “When I'm with you like this, it's much easier. The power you give me… it can even save that human.”

Something flickered in Hannah by the demon's words. She felt her heart thumping and blood rushing in her cheeks. She held his finger under her chin with two of her hands.

Did the demon really asked suggested they both make a contract...?

She held back her words realizing that all of this was real… She thought about her life until now. Her aunt and her words. Her parents. Her friend. Her late grandma… and the arcane books she used to read back at her grandma's home and the knowledge shared.

It was surreal... but it's real... so she gathered her courage.

“Then… I will come to you,” Hannah spoke. “So, please! Save my friend…!”

Hannah stood up in front of the demon. She extended her hand toward him.

“A human can make a deal with the demon they summoned, right? Then… I'll come to Hell, and you'll save my Minhyeok…” Hannah said with direct eyes and with no hint of trembling inner voice. But inside, she was insecure if the demon would want something more or even laugh at her…

And laughed he did! A laughter that roared. It's like an explosion that made her bravado crumble.

Just when she's about to retract her hand, the demon grabbed it and shoved his face at her.

“Indeed. You are a descendant of Solomon.” Satan stated. “Trying to form a contract the moment you meet a devil.”

Hannah opened her mouth but then closed it. She didn't know what to say. Satan just smiled as he reminisced.

“He did that too at first. Arrogant but charming. It's a relief I didn't smash his head that time. Hehe.” He laughed and nodded with exaggerated movements at the memory.

“Haneul Choi…” He called. “Devils keep their promises. They don't lie either.

Your contract is recorded in the blank page of Lemegeton the moment you decide to form a contract…

I, Satan, King of Gehenna and Sin of Wrath, respond at the contract.”

Satan looked at her in the eyes. Hannah was perplexed at what just happened. She couldn't help but stare at the demon.

aA puff of smoke blinded her sight for a moment and the next thing she felt were her cheeks being cupped by human hands and someone's lips touching her. Hannah gasped. She was hesitant but kissed back. The person kissed her deeper and swirled his tongue in her mouth. The lips were hot and sweet, rough but pleasant.

Slowly, the person detached his lips. Hannah opened her eyes and caught the eyes of scarlet. The furred beast from before was gone and to his place is a man whose complexion is like a snow that shone under the sun. He has a pair of black horns that tip fade to red like a burning charcoal.

“The moment we'll go to Hell,” he spoke with the same voice of the beast from before, “your friend will wake up and the things occured here will shift however the universe will to.”

A hexagram lightened up under their feet and Hannah started to float along with Satan.

“W-Wait! Does it really have to be Hell…?” Hannah asked under her breath, only now recalling the various depictions of the place from various interpretations.

“You're scared?” Satan cackled from his chest like he can read her mind and is entertained by it.

“You don't have to be afraid. Afterall,

What in Hell is bad?”

»»———-　　———-«

Author Note: Yoooo I'm done with the part three of the epilogue??? TToTT) This have the same dialogue of the in-game with some added details. More or less how Hannah would react. I think I plan to do it this way more forward but I don't think I'll do every parts of in-game stories...? I dunno. We'll see.

Again, thank you for reading until heeeere! I appreciate reblogs, comments and hearts ♡ very much!

#.sweeteaa writes #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad?#whb #whb fanfic #whb mc #whb oc #whb x reader #whb x mc #whb satan #whb gabriel #whb minhyeok

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crystalninjaphoenix · 4 months

Text

Coming Home

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

I was planning on having a short, not-very-busy chapter after the action of last time. That did not end up happening. Sometimes ideas just get away from you, y'know? Anyway, onto the summary. The group meets up again after the IRIS infiltration to talk about what to do next. Jackie tries to process everything that he's just learned and get used to being home again, but he's having difficulty. And onto the story now :) Enjoy :)

More of This AU | | First Chapter | Previous Chapter

“Oh my god.” Jackie covered his mouth in horror. “I-I had no idea. I was—I was trying to find some way to protect against Distorter, but all this time—IRIS—th-they had—He was—I can’t believe—Anti—”

“Calm down, Jackieboy,” Rama said from the driver’s seat. “Remember how to breathe.”

Jackie pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating a mile a minute beneath his ribs. “I’m breathing. I’m just—w-we have to—I mean, can I see Anti? We need to go see him. As soon as possible—”

“Not as soon as possible,” Schneep interrupted. “I know you are worried about him. But I do not want to go straight to the hospital right after breaking into IRIS. They could be following us. Tracking us, somehow.”

I don’t think they’re following us, at least, Jameson signed. His movements were slow, tired, but his eyes still glowed that bright blue that showed he was using his magic. I’m trying to detect their strange signature, and I can’t feel anything.

“They could still be tracking us,” Schneep muttered. “We cannot go straight to Anti. I don’t want to lead them to him.”

Rama sighed. “We have to talk with Marvin, Jack and Stacy about all this. I know we can just text them that the mission was a success, but now we have to think about the next steps. Jackie is right. We need to focus on Anti.”

“This does deserve an in-person meeting,” Schneep muttered.

I’ll text them, JJ offered.

“No, you wanted to take a nap, yes? Give me your phone, I will do it.”

JJ hesitated, then nodded and passed Schneep his phone.

“Okay, so, we’re going to meet up with them right away, then, right?” Jackie asked anxiously. “We’re going to talk about this right away? The Anti thing, I mean?”

“Stacy had work,” Rama muttered. “So maybe not right away, but definitely as soon as possible.” They looked in the rear-view mirror back at Schneep. “Ask them for ideas of where to meet. If IRIS is tracking us, I don’t want to lead them right to my house, or to where they are staying.”

“I-I don’t know if... if I-IRIS will track things...” Jackie trailed off. What did he know about IRIS? Nothing, apparently. He didn’t even know they’d kidnapped two of his friends.

“Jackie, what were those things you grabbed from your desk?” Schneep asked. “They looked like—like those things you put over your eyes to play VR.”

“Oh right. I did start to explain, but then we got cut off. Uh, maybe I should explain when everyone is together. That’d be easier. Do it in one.”

“Okay, okay, but do you know them inside and out?” Schneep asked. “Are you sure what is inside them?”

It took Jackie a moment to process what Schneep was asking and why he was asking it. “Oh. You mean—you mean you think that they could be tracked. We’re still talking about the tracking stuff. Um... I think I’m pretty familiar with them. But I don’t... know for sure. Maybe—maybe—But I-I think—I have an idea, maybe, that’s starting to form, but if they’re being tracked—” He groaned and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. The seatbelt cut into his neck, but he didn’t really feel it.

“Are you okay, Jackieboy?” Rama asked quietly.

“I’m having a fucking crisis.” His voice was slightly muffled by his hands.

“Well... you and your friends are all very traumatized, by this point,” Rama said slowly. “I guess that’s to be expected.”

Jackie laughed, the sound piercing and manic. “Yeah... yeah.” He didn’t know what else to say.

———————

By the time they’d driven back to Mirygale, Stacy was off work and ready to meet up. Jack was also ready, though he didn’t really want to leave Anti alone. But he understood that this was important and so decided to trust Sam to find him if something happened. Marvin was ready to go whenever. He said that he could take the bus to wherever they were meeting.

When the tracking situation was explained, Stacy said that they could meet at a park near where her rented apartment was. When everyone else arrived, they saw that it wasn’t really a park, so much as just a fenced-in green space. It had probably been part of a church once before modern development took over, and for some reason, the yard had been allowed to stay when the church wasn’t. There was enough room in the space for a few big trees and a couple benches, but not much room for more. Rama parked on the street right outside and everyone climbed out.

The others were already there. Jackie stopped walking for a moment, seeing Marvin in the wheelchair. “O-oh,” he whispered.

Marvin saw him first. His expression brightened. “Jackie! You’re back!” He laughed. “Come on over here! Hey, c’mere to me, how are you doin’? You look... well, you could look better.” His smile faded slightly, but still lingered.

“Jackie!” Jack got up from the bench where he was sitting and waved him over. “Come on! The rest of you! God, you all look fucking terrible.”

“Better than the first time I met you,” Stacy muttered, then winced. “I’m sorry, that was probably too much—”

Jackie laughed a bit. “No. No, you’re right, that was—you’re right.”

“Still. Sorry.” Stacy stood up too. “Here, you guys can sit, you probably need it more.”

The group settled down, Jackie and Rama sitting on one bench, Schneep and JJ sitting on another, Marvin’s chair stopped next to JJ’s bench, and Jack and Stacy standing up. “Weird doing this out here,” Jack said, looking around.

“I agree, t’is is a bit strange,” Marvin said. “But it’s better t’an IRIS goin’ to our houses.”

“Technically, don’t they already know all about where you guys live?” Stacy asked, looking at Marvin and JJ. “Because you had those cameras up for a while?”

The two of them blinked in unison. Well we’re out here now, JJ said. If we put in all the effort to get here, might as well stay here.

“Besides, we don’ want them to know for sure t’at Schneep and Jackie are connected to us,” Marvin said. “The cameras only went up after they both left. We coul’ reasonably deny t’ings the cameras overheard, but not if ye show up in our house.”

“Okay, okay, okay, can we—can we just—” Jackie swallows a lump in his throat. “I-I want to talk about Anti.”

Jack straightened slightly. “What do you know? About... what happened?”

“They filled me in on the drive here,” Jackie said. “Anti disappeared, but it turned out that IRIS had him in their facility to the north. H-he was stuck there for three days before Distorter showed up and... and took him instead. Schneep said that—that IRIS might have isolated Anti intentionally, to get something to happen with Distorter.”

“What?!” Marvin gasped. “Schneep, you never said anyt’ing like t’at before!”

Schneep looked down. “I... am not sure if it’s true. But it feels like something they would do.”

I was just as shocked when he brought it up on the drive, JJ said.

“But it makes sense,” Schneep said, raising his head again. “They have an interest in Distorter. Perhaps they wanted to see if they could trigger an appearance by him.”

“I-I-I guess I can see that,” Jackie said. IRIS had been proud of how much they tested their hypotheses and inventions before putting them out on the market. It had... reassured him. But if they were doing that same sort of testing with people and supernatural creatures... He shuddered. “A-anyway, something did happen. Distorter showed up and took Anti out of there. And ever since... Anti’s been under his control. Y-you said... he’s at the hospital? Because... of the blood loss... and stuff.”

“Unfortunately, it’s also a place where... they can make sure he doesn’t do anything,” Jack said slowly. “Distorter is still controlling him. H-he tries to attack the nurses sometimes but can’t, since he’s... anyway, yes. He’s at the hospital.”

Jackie went quiet. “The first time I ever met him was in a hospital...” He whispers. “That same one, too, from what you’ve said.” He laughed a little. “I don’t think he likes them. Maybe it reminds him too much of what happened to land him there the first time.”

“Huh?” Marvin blinked, confused. “I know you’ve mentioned meetin’ Anti in the hospital before, but—what?”

Jackie and Schneep exchanged a look. Then Schneep shook his head. “It is not our place to say,” he said. “Besides, Anti never fully explained it. I only know about the injury because Jackie told me about it.”

“And Anti never said what happened to cause that,” Jackie added. Though he had started to form a suspicion in recent months... “I-In any case, my point is he’d probably hate that he’s there if he was conscious enough to know where he was. But he’s not. B-because Distorter is definitely doing all sorts of terrible—of horrible fucking things to his mind. We have to get him out of there now!”

“Calm down, man,” Jack said evenly. “Panic isn’t going to help Anti.”

Jackie nodded. He blinked, pushing back the tears threatening to rise to the surface. “I’m calm.”

“You... said you had an idea?” Rama prompted. “In the car, remember?”

“Y-yeah.” Jackie reached into his pocket—he was still wearing this coat, he should probably take it off, maybe burn it—and pulled out the headsets. “We can use these somehow.”

Stacy leaned forward. “Um... what the hell are they?”

“Right, right. So...” Jackie bit his lip, thinking. “There’s this trope in old scifi stories where you can watch people’s memories or dreams on a screen, and their minds are all visualized and everything despite how, in real life, thinking is really abstract. These are kind of similar. MR Headsets, they’re called. ‘Mental Reality’ Headsets.”

JJ’s eyes widened. He grinned excitedly. You mean... we can look at someone’s thoughts with those?

“Basically. One person wears this white one, and someone else puts on the black one. The one wearing the black Headset can experience whatever the person in the white Headset is thinking. Or... remembering, or dreaming. Whatever’s in their head. I-I was thinking that... that maybe if we put this white Headset on Anti, and someone else wears the black one, maybe they... maybe they’ll be able to... reach him?”

Jack nodded. “That could work. Sam says that Anti is ‘deep down’ and they’re having trouble reaching him. Maybe if someone could like... go into his head and pull him closer to the, uh, ‘shallow’ parts, then Sam can burn away the rest of Distorter’s powers.”

“But Distorter will try to interfere,” Schneep said.

“That’s where I come in, right?” Stacy asked. “We know that he’ll be distracted by me being there.”

“We’ll need more than jus’ t’at, I think,” Marvin said slowly. “We’ll need to keep him distracted for a long bit of time t’ere. Someone else will have to be t’ere to help wit’ the distraction.”

Schneep stiffened slightly, then nodded. “I can... I can do that. His tricks and hallucinations do not work on me anymore.”

They don’t?! JJ said, surprised.

“How do you know t’at?” Marvin asked.

“...ah.” Schneep cleared his throat. “Distorter tried to pay me a visit. But nothing happened when he tried to make me see things, and I could see him even when he tried to disappear from my mind. I think... that is also... because of IRIS.”

Jackie burst into laughter.

“What the—Jackie?!” Jack looked at him, shocked.

“Jackie...?” Schneep whispered.

Marvin and JJ just stared, concerned.

“I-i-it’s not funny!” Jackie said, still laughing beside himself. “It’s not funny! But—but it is funny! I’ve been—been—The whole reason I was there was to find a way to block out Distorter’s tricks! I wanted to—I-I wanted to—and they said they could do it! They said they had a prototype, b-but that it had to be in your head, a-and I didn’t want that—But they knew the prototype would work! They knew because they tested it, didn’t they?! I didn’t ask! I-I didn’t ask, and even if I did, they wouldn’t say that they know it works because they fucked with my friend’s head, would they? Would they?!”

“Jackieboy,” Rama said in a soft voice. They put one arm around his shoulder. “Take a moment. It’s not your fault, okay?”

Schneep, looking shaken, nonetheless nodded. “I-I do not think you could’ve done anything even if you knew. Things would just become bad for you, too.”

Jackie swallowed a lump in his throat. “I-it’s just—it’s funny, you know? The whole t-time, what I was looking for was—was being used against—” He laughed again.

“It’s not your fault,” Rama said, more firmly. “Say it, Jackie.”

“It’s... it’s not my fault.”

“Good.” They nodded sharply. “Now... do you need a moment?”

“Or... anyt’ing else?” Marvin added. “Not much we can get for you while out in t’is yard, but still.”

“I’m good. I’m good. I promise.” Jackie took a deep breath and sat up straight. “Okay. So... that’s two people doing that. Should... more people come?”

You definitely should, Jackie, JJ said. I’m assuming you know how to operate these devices.

“The MR Headsets. Yeah, I’m familiar. But I’ve never... actually used them. There’s this practice simulation you can do on the computer with a regular VR headset, I-I did that a couple times when I first got these, but... never used the real thing.”

Still, that’s more than any of us have, JJ pointed out. I’ll go, too. If Distorter suddenly stops being distracted, I can protect you. I’m assuming that you won’t be able to do much while using ‘MR’.

“You’re right,” Jackie admitted. “I’ll basically be asleep, I-I’ll need someone to watch me. If something goes wrong, there’s a button you can press to wake me up immediately... theoretically. Again, I’ve never used them.”

“Well, if ev’ryone else is joinin’ in on the plan, I’ll be joinin’, too,” Marvin said. “Least I can do after I missed the action today.”

We offered to let you come, JJ said.

“Yes, but I wanted to... The point is, I can help, even if I’m stuck wit’ t’is.” He patted the arm of the wheelchair.

“I’d rather stay at home and keep the kids safe,” Rama said. “If that’s okay.”

“It is fine, Rama,” Schneep said quietly. “We are happy that the kids are in your good hands.”

“That’s settled, then,” Jackie said. “When’s the next bus? We can’t all fit in the car.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a moment.” Jack raised his hands. “We’re not doing this now, are we?”

“Why not?” Jackie asked.

“Um... because you all look terrible?” Jack pointed out. “You haven’t said what happened at IRIS, but it’s clear that it was... difficult, in some way. Physical, emotional, I don’t know.”

JJ nodded slowly. That’s true. I used all my magic. I’m running on fumes right now. I need a day or two to recover.

“But—but Anti—” Jackie stammered.

“I... hate to say t’is,” Marvin said slowly. “But Anti has lasted t’is long. We know Distorter isn’ going t’kill him. I don’ want to leave him to suffer in his hands, but... but if we’re going t’get him out of t’ere, we need to be in top shape for it.”

Schneep sighed. “It is true. There may be a fight against Distorter, and he is a tough opponent even without his mental powers. He does not feel pain, and so he does not stay down. I think that even if his body breaks, he will keep going, and to fight such a power we need to be fully prepared.”

Jackie glanced around, eyes darting to each of their faces. “O... okay,” he said quietly. “When are we going to try this, then? Tomorrow?”

“How about the day after?” Jack suggested. “To make sure everyone has a full rest. We can go to the hospital as soon as visiting hours start.”

“When’s that?” Jackie asked.

You don’t know? You worked there. JJ raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t remember off the top of my head,” Jackie mumbled.

“They start at nine,” Jack said. “So if that’s okay with everyone?”

Everyone agreed that they could meet at the hospital at nine the day after tomorrow. “How long do you think this will take?” Stacy asked. “What if they kick us out before we can fix things?”

Surely it won’t take the whole four hours for visitors, JJ said.

“Our real time limit is how long we can keep Distorter distracted,” Schneep pointed out. “He will eventually turn his attention back to Anti.”

Jackie swallowed a lump in his throat. “I-I can reach Anti quickly. I’m sure I can.”

“Alright.” Rama nodded. “I suppose... we all go home now, then. And keep in contact. JJ, do you want to drive your car back? I can take the bus.”

JJ nodded. I have enough energy to drive. Thank you for driving all the way out of the city and back. He turned to Marvin. I’m guessing you want a ride?

Marvin laughed. “O’course I do! Volt, what abou’ you? Need a lift somewhere?”

Schneep hesitated. “Drop me off at the park where you picked me up. If you could. Please.”

I can do that, JJ agreed. Jack? Stacy? Jackie?

“I can just walk back,” Stacy said.

“And I’m fine with the bus, too,” Jack said.

Jackie paused, unsure. “Um... Volt isn’t staying in his flat, so... I can’t hitch a ride with him. I guess—”

“Actually, um, Jackieboy, I want to talk to you about something,” Rama said. “We can... talk on the bus. If you want.”

“Oh, um... y-yeah.” Jackie tried to hide the way his stomach dropped. When your spouse says they want to talk about something in that tone... “Yeah, I can... take the same bus as you.”

Jack looked between the two of them. “Well, I need a different bus, so you two will be on your own,” he said.

“How do you know what bus we’ll be taking?” Jackie muttered.

“I’ve gotten familiar enough with the system. But there’s only one stop nearby, so want to walk with me there?”

Jackie glanced at Rama. They nodded, and so he nodded too.

“We will keep in contact,” Schneep said. “Jackie, you still have your cell phone, yes?”

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I don’t... know if I’ll get your messages...”

In response, JJ took out his phone and typed something out. Jackie’s phone soon vibrated, and he took it out of his pocket to see JJ’s message on the screen, a simple Test written in the text.

Jackie laughed nervously. “I guess it will, then.”

“We’ll see you later, t’en, Jackie,” Marvin said. “Or you can stop by whenever you want, if you want to stop by beforehand. Or call, o’course. Call when you want. If you want. I-it’s good to see you again, it’ll be grand to see you some more.” JJ nodded along, agreeing with Marvin’s rambling.

“See you,” Jackie said. “All of you.”

And with that, the group parted ways.

———————

The bus was empty except for Jackie and Rama. And the bus driver, of course, but the two of them sat in the back so the driver didn’t really count. Jack had waved them off at the stop and kept waiting for his bus to come. The two of them climbed on, with Rama paying the fare for both of them, and took their seats.

Jackie stared out the window. Why did the city feel so strange? This was the place he’d lived all his life. Nothing much had changed in the time he’d been gone. And yet, it was like he hadn’t seen these buildings for a long, long, time. Maybe he’d never seen them at all.

“Jackie.”

He flinched a bit, then looked back at Rama. “Yeah?”

“Where...” Rama paused, taking a breath. “Where are you going to stay? Are you going back to Henrik’s apartment?”

“I... yeah, I th-thought I would...” Jackie trailed off. “You... don’t want me to?”

“I... don’t want you to... do anything that would hurt you,” Rama said carefully. “But... but I’ve been so worried about you. It feels like I haven’t stopped being worried about you ever since that first time you disappeared. If you go back to that apartment, you’ll be alone. Schneep isn’t staying there right now. He’s too worried about IRIS. If something happens, I... I don’t know. And also, I... I’ve really missed you, Jackie. Michelle has missed you, too.”

“I missed you too,” Jackie whispered. “Both of you. But...”

Rama waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. The bus jolted along down the city streets. They sighed. “I know that it’s not your fault, this way you feel,” they said. “I know that it’s just... how you’re reacting to everything that Distorter creature put you through. But... sometimes... I feel like you’re avoiding me. Or Michelle. Like you don’t want to live with us anymore. Like I’ve done something wrong as your partner.”

Jackie let out a quiet whimper. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I-I never wanted—never intended—It’s not you. I-it’s not Michelle, either. I-I know she’s probably really confused, wondering why she hasn’t seen her dad in the house. I’ve tried to make it clear that it’s not her fault. I don’t... want to avoid you. I still love you, and I still want to live with you, but... god. Fucking damn it.”

“God fucking damn it?” Rama repeated, laughing a little.

“Don’t.”

They immediately stopped laughing. “Sorry.”

Jackie stared straight ahead, not looking towards them, not looking away from them. “I... I hate that I feel this way. It’s my house. I-I should feel safe there, but I just don’t. Everything about it reminds me of—of that place. It’s—it fucking sucks. Sometimes I wonder if Distorter planned that, if he knew that—that by using common things in houses to—to—I-if he knew that I would start seeing regular household items as a threat, and if he knew that would affect how I felt in regular houses. Schneep’s flat was good because it was open plan, the setup was so different that I knew I wasn’t there whenever I looked around. Even staying with IRIS was good, the quarters they gave me were also open like that. But... a house would just be...” He shook his head. “I hate it. I hate it so much that I’m like this now.”

“I’m... sorry,” Rama said quietly. They also looked straight ahead. “I didn’t want to pressure you.”

Jackie took a deep breath. “No, I know. I-I like that you’ve said this. It’s better to know how you’re feeling. Maybe... maybe it’s more of a mental block. Maybe... if I could try... j-just for a night, maybe.”

“You... want to come home?” Rama tried to sound neutral, but they couldn’t disguise the hope in their voice.

“Just for a night,” Jackie repeated. “To test it out. I-I might not—you have to know I might not—”

“No, no, I know.” Rama leaned closer to him, then put an arm around his shoulder when he didn’t push them away. “We’ll see how you react. If I remember, you were... you were working on that in therapy. Maybe you’ve made progress.”

Jackie laughed. “I-I think the progress I made got reversed when I panicked and skipped town.”

Rama paused. “What... exactly happened, then?”

Jackie was quiet for a moment. He wondered if he should tell them. But, well, if he couldn’t tell Rama, who could he tell? “I was looking for some way to protect against Distorter,” he started. “Looking for a while. Everything he was doing was just... really getting to me. So I started looking, and that’s when I heard of IRIS. After doing some research, I realized they had a branch just out of town. I-I wasn’t planning on going there, though. I was just keeping them as an option. Then... Marvin disappeared. Distorter got to him, even though he shouldn’t have been able to, even though JJ warded their house. That became the incident where he broke his leg that Schneep and JJ talked about in the car.”

Rama nodded, following along but not saying anything.

“Something about that just... just got to me. I-it was like all our work came crashing down, like it all seemed useless. A-and they were talking about going into that place like it was so easy, wh-when they didn’t know what it was like—They know now, but... Everything just... snapped in that moment. It was so much. I took our car—S-sorry about that, by the way—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. This isn’t the time.”

Jackie nodded. “I drove out of town for a while. I didn’t really know where I was going, just that I was going far from Distorter and that place. And then I regained some of my senses—not all of them, but enough to realize where I was. That I was close to this IRIS place I’d made note of earlier. I-I looked up the directions again and drove that way. They weren’t... happy to see me at first. Some guy drives straight up to their secure facility screaming about how they need to help him... I didn’t exactly make a good first impression. B-but I wouldn’t leave. I just kinda kept shouting, a-and crying, I was crying by that point, until they eventually let me in and took me to this room where they... tried to talk to me. I-I didn’t really respond, I just... I just kept begging for them to help.”

Rama inhaled sharply. “Jackie...”

“It... didn’t change... I mean, I didn’t do much else for a while,” Jackie said slowly. “Looking back on it, knowing now what they did to Anti and Schneep, I’m surprised they were so... nice? Or maybe that’s just what I’m telling myself. I-I guess I was in that room for a while. But I wasn’t really thinking about that. The whole time, I was just... thinking about Distorter. Anytime anyone showed up I just screamed for them to help me, to help my friends, to do something about this thing haunting us. Even after I lost my voice I tried to keep talking. I-I got really dehydrated. They were giving me food and water but I was crying so much that it wasn’t enough.”

“Jackie.” Rama pulled him closer to themself. He let them do it. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Jackie took a deep breath. “Eventually I calmed down. Someone showed up, this guy, and he was... really nice. He explained everything about IRIS—well, not everything, b-but he said they could help. And that I was probably really smart and knew a lot about this house they were investigating. And then he said that if I could help them with some stuff, they would help me with Distorter. And I said I would. And then things... just sort of... I just got used to it all.”

“That... Jackie, I don’t know for sure how it was, but... that sounds manipulative as all hell,” Rama said. “You were in a terrible spot, and they took advantage of that.”

“Maybe,” Jackie said quietly.

“Maybe?!” Rama repeated indignantly.

Jackie laughed a bit. “Th-thanks for feeling all defensive about it. I... I appreciate that.”

“This is something to get defensive over,” Rama muttered darkly. “You’re my husband. I’m going to be defensive when a shady company takes advantage of your terrible mental state to—to make you work for them? Am I understanding that correctly?”

“Yeah. I didn’t mind, though. It was kind of cool sometimes.” Jackie paused. “I don’t want to talk about IRIS for now, though. Um... how’s Michelle been?”

“She’s good. Grades are slipping a bit, but that’s understandable, given everything that’s happened in the past year. I’m just glad that the grades are the only thing affected. She hasn’t had any friend troubles or anything, and she’s still very active. She wanted to sign up for the football team but unfortunately by the time she got that idea tryouts had passed.”

Jackie smiled slightly. “She’d be great at football.” The smile faded. “Do you... think she’ll be happy to see me?”

“Of course she will, Jackieboy,” Rama said. “Of course she will.”

———————

“Dad?! Dad! DAD! YOU’RE BACK!”

Michelle was indeed happy to see Jackie. The moment he appeared in the front doorway, she ran up and tackled him in a big hug. “Whoa!” Jackie stumbled backwards a bit, barely managing to keep his balance. He couldn’t help but laugh. “Hey, Mich. You’re so big now, how did that happen so fast?”

“You’re back!” Michelle just said again, her face buried in his shirt as she squeezed him tight. “You’re back you’re back you’re back!”

“I’m back,” Jackie said, hugging her in turn. “I’m sorry I was away for so long. And that I didn’t say anything about it.”

Michelle pulled her face away. “Where did you go? Was it important?”

“Um...” How the fuck was he supposed to tell his seven-year-old that he had a mental breakdown? “It’s... hard to explain.”

“Will says there’s a bad man trying to get to you and everyone,” Michelle whispered, like she was sharing a secret. “Is that what happened?”

Jackie tried not to shiver. Even her childish way of talking about Distorter made him nervous. “No, that’s... not what happened. I’m okay. A-and you’re okay. You’re going to be okay. It’s... it’s complicated. I don’t know how to tell you about it right now, so can we talk about it later?”

Michelle stared up at him for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. D’you wanna watch Supergirl?”

Jackie laughed. “Sure. We can watch Supergirl.”

Will had been staying with Rama too, but he was mostly quiet while Michelle was eager to spend time with her dad again. The two of them spent a while watching this Supergirl cartoon she’d found and gotten really into, and then it was time for dinner and for the kids to do homework. Michelle convinced Will to watch more of the show with her while Jackie... got used to being back here. He still had clothes in the house, but all his toiletries—toothbrush and deodorant and such—were back in Schneep’s apartment, so Rama went out to buy him some more.

Everything felt... strange. Unfamiliar, and yet nostalgic at the same time. He didn’t like that he felt that way. He wanted this to feel like home, but it wasn’t. Had it felt like home at all? Or had he felt out of place ever since he escaped the house on Aspen Street?

Night eventually fell, and it was time to go to sleep.

———————

He woke in the middle of the night and found himself in a dark room. Why did he wake up? Did he hear something? Was something coming? Was someone coming? His eyes darted around, landing on the shadows in the corners.

What was this room? This was a bedroom. Which bedroom was it? Which version of the bedrooms was it? He didn’t remember. He didn’t remember. He didn’t remember.

His chest felt too tight for his heart. It was pounding against his ribs, trying to escape, making its way into his throat but that was tight too—Where was he? Was he back there? Which bedroom was this? Which version was it? Did he move him while he was asleep? When would he show up again? He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe, is that him, did he do something to his breathing?!

He reached for his throat, gasping, feeling nothing. Nothing but the collar of a hoodie. Hoodie? That’s right, he’s still wearing his hoodie. And that—that’s important because—because he didn’t have that in the house. This wasn’t the house. Unless Distorter was tricking him into thinking he’s wearing his hoodie—no! No no, this felt too real. It’s real. He wrapped his arms around himself, pulling his legs up, too. Feel how real it is. This wasn’t an illusion. This couldn’t be. The blurring of the world wasn’t in his head, it was in his eyes, his eyes that were filling with tears. This was real.

Movement. Movement behind him. His breath hitched. Why—who was—The sheets and blankets rustled, so someone was in the bed with him. Who—Was it him? No, he wouldn’t do that. He’d never done that before. For as much as he liked grabbing onto him—especially yanking on his hair—he’d never done something like that.

“Jackie?”

Jackie didn’t say anything. He didn’t know if he could, his breath was passing rapidly in and out of his mouth, not giving him room to speak. He squeezed his eyes shut. Hot tears slipped out and trailed down his face onto the pillow.

“Jackie, is everything okay?” Rama asked quietly.

That was them. That was really them, it had to be, this was real, his memories were too elaborate to be fake. But he still couldn’t answer them. He tried to calm his breathing down, tried to remember how to—how to hold it in for—how long was he supposed to hold it in?

A hand touched his shoulder. He instinctively tensed, and it quickly withdrew. “Jackieboy...” Rama said, sounding a bit unsure. “You’re... you’re safe. I promise. Nothing’s going to get to you. You’re not in that house anymore. You’re in our home.”

Right. Right. This was their home. This was supposed to be his home. Why did it feel so strange?

“Do you want me to turn on the light?”

He managed to nod his head.

More rustling, and the yellow light of their bedside lamp lit up the room. It was their room. It was his room. He was facing the windows, and there were no boards on them. The walls were a warm orange color, not the lifeless, colorless shade of all the walls in that place. The blanket and sheets were not the old, thin ones found in that place, it was the heavy comforter they brought out for the colder months. This was his room. He hadn’t realized that at first. It had been so long since he’d seen it. And wasn’t that his own fault, when he thought about it?

“Do you... do you need anything?” Rama asked. “A glass of water? Or... or I can turn on some noise, of some kind. I-I have audiobooks on my phone.”

“N-no,” he gasped out between breaths.

“Oh... Okay. Okay.”

The silence stretched for what felt like forever, but was actually only a few seconds. Jackie closed his eyes again and concentrated on breathing. Then he reached a hand back over his shoulder. It was an awkward position, but he wasn’t sure he could talk to ask what he wanted.

Luckily, Rama understood. They reached out again and put their hand on top of his shoulder. He pulled their arm over him. Rama inched closer until they were pressed up next to each other. Jackie continued to try and breathe slowly. He opened his eyes again and stared at the curtains covering their bedroom window. He’d never really liked the patterns on them, but now his eyes followed those patterns in detail. Rama was breathing slowly next to him. He tried to match his breath to theirs.

“It’s going to be okay, mi corazon,” Rama whispered.

Tears filled his eyes again. He rolled over and buried his face in their shirt. His head fit perfectly into the spot where their neck met their shoulder. They were warm. Steady. Solid. Definitely really there. He clung to them tightly, and they wrapped their arms around him in turn. “...‘m sorry...” he mumbled.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Rama said.

“W-woke you up...”

“That’s not really a big issue in the scheme of it,” Rama said lightheartedly. “It’s okay.”

“...l-left you. For... so long. Michelle... a-an’ everyone...”

“Nobody blames you for that,” they whispered. “And I can promise that nobody was mad when you disappeared. Or even when we found out about IRIS. We were just worried.”

“Shouldn’... make... make you worry...” The words got caught in his throat.

“Jackieboy, I just said nobody blames you. So you shouldn’t blame yourself. You don’t deserve it.” Their voice was as steady as the rest of them.

He didn’t say anything for a while. He just kept trying to breathe. “S-sorry...”

“Shhh. Don’t. You have nothing to say sorry for.”

“I-I think... think I do...”

“...it’s okay, Jackie. It’s all okay.”

He held them tighter. And he didn’t say anything. They didn’t either. They kept holding him back, one hand rubbing circles on his back.

His heart stopped trying to escape his chest. The tight feeling faded. He closed his eyes again. He counted his breaths for a while until he was sure that they were slow enough, and then shifted from controlling his breathing to just observing it. Rama was still there. They hadn’t gone away.

Maybe it had been a bad idea to leave... No. No, he was sure that it was a good idea at first. But he shouldn’t have stayed away so long. He’d been so scared of it that he forgot what he was leaving behind. It wasn’t just the house. It was his family, too. He missed them. He shouldn’t have let fear keep him from his home.

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