#and youre faced again with yourself.
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getting emotional about splatoon again. god. that fucking squid makes me feel things about my own life im crying all over my yogurt
#pov youve been into splatoon since the first game and in splatoon 3 theres the new capn and thats YOU. thats you those years ago.#thats the kid that saved up their money to buy a wii u. opening it up the first time digging for the splatoon download code hoping it works#ans then it does and then youre in this new colorful world full of whimsy and. and then you got splatoon 2 and a switch for Christmas#and now this lonely teen gets to experience that joy again.#of opening up the switch and putting in the cardridge and inputting the online subscription code hoping it works. and then it does.#and youre back in inkopolis.#and you get yourself octo expansion after watching a playthrough while abroad visiting your family. and you get to pick the looks of agent 3#and the game asks you because thats you. thats the kid those years ago. thats the teen playing right now. thats you.#and now youre an adult. you preordered splatoon three. you played it on the bus drive home. and you enter the story mode.#and youre faced again with yourself.#that kid finding joy in this world when home wasnt the best.#that teen finding community and frienedship n this game when they had noone to talk to#and you realize how far youve come. and youre proud of yourself. and youre happy youre alive#and now youre an adult who doesnt know exactly where to go from here. but will keep trying.#if not for yourself now. then maybe for a future you who will remember this. then maybe for the past you that you look back to.#and im not even mentioning all the transgender stuff#im not normal about this game guys#fishbrain thoughts
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spinneret fun! 🕷️ written by me & nevi
the rest under cut:
#spideypool#wade wilson#peter parker#spider-man#deadpool#i made this in one day fjdjjsjs forgive how weird wade looks in every panel but this is basically just a glorified scribble#also i think his badly drawn faces are funnt#more cringe losers based on nevi + my's au#again#they **** after this.#sorry?#mine#okay wait no I'm back#because put yourself in wade's shoes for a second#your bf's overactive super senses are telling him to get the hell out of dodge but he trusts you so much that he says nah fuck that#I'm safe I'm in good hands#to trust somebody more than you trust your own senses#okay /end#earth-748
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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign
#god of war#i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know#something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become#to survive this long#up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change#it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better#we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return#you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better#i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory#i’m dying scoob#gow#gowr
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For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like
Diabetics
POTS sufferers
Hypotensives
People with peanut allergies
People with celiac disease or wheat allergies
The lactose intolerant
People who can't eat solid food
People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on
So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill
A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable
But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?
#tag yourself I'm five out of ten#health food is gonna kill me one day i swear to God#vasovagal syncope/POTS was actually a fun disease to have since the treatment is honestly junk food#to get my sugar and sodium levels up quickly so i don't pass out#but then the United States government in their infinite compassion slashed my food stamps in half#and now i can't afford 'luxeries' like enough chips and candy i need to not faint and concuss myself. again#add the celiac and to a lesser extent the lactose intolerancy and now two fruit allergies...#and I'm paying three times the amount for like fifteen food items and that is accounting for the food inflation even ableds are facing#whatever food shortages ableds are going thru right now i swear to you it's much much worse if you're sick/disabled#stop policing what food people buy with the money their given i don't care if it's a paycheck or welfare#SOMETIMES I'll get a pitiful and defensive 'well how was i supposed to know?!' when i confront people bugging me about this#you don't know so shut your trap about it in the first place#most people just ignore the reason and accuse me of making up excuses to eat 'unhealthy' foods tho#health nut#ableism#systemic ableism#food#Salt blessed Salt
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grimm – batman: legends of the dark knight #149
[ID: a panel sequence of young Dick Grayson just two months after his parents' murders. He's sulking at the dining table in the grandiose Wayne Manor. The dinner is taking place in front of a lit fireplace that causes the entire room to have a soft, bronze glow to it. The table itself is long and decorated and Bruce Wayne is sitting on the opposite end of it. Alfred Pennyworth prompts, “More mashed potatoes, Master Dick—?” But Dick is too busy thinking about a young criminal he ran into when he snuck out earlier. He quietly mutters the taunt she told him, “‘Spoiled brat in a circus suit’—?” Alfred asks, “Was that a yes or a no?” The pouting child brusquely tells him, ”no,” which causes the butler to clear his throat. Dick begrudgingly corrects himself, “No thank you, Alfred.” Alfred responds, “As you wish, Master Dick.”
But Dick is already uttering another taunt under his breath, “‘Lap of luxury’!” Bruce leans forward slightly and asks if everything is okay but Dick dismisses his concern. He excuses, “I'm... I'm not very hungry, Bruce. Is it okay if I go to my room?” Despite his obvious qualms, Bruce awkwardly smiles and replies, “Uh... Of course. Certainly.” Dick gets up as Alfred tells him the food will be in the refrigerator if he gets hungry later but Dick just ‘uh-huh’s him as he walks away. With the child upstairs, Bruce immediately stands up and paces. He stops in front of the fireplace and stares into the blaze as he monologues his worries, “Maybe this was a mistake. What in the world made me think I could raise a boy? I don't know the first thing about it! I've always been a loner! I don't have the knowledge... or the disposition... to make this work.” Alfred wryly asks, “Are you addressing the fireplace, Sir—or me?” But Bruce stresses his demur without looking at him, “His parents are dead, Alfred! What gives me the temerity to believe I can replace them in his life?”
Alfred solemnly reassures, “I asked myself the same questions once. What in the world did a butler know about raising a young man who'd just lost the two people he loved most in the world? But strangely enough, Sir—I adapted. I learned. I learned because I wanted to... Because I cared. And... despite some difficulties along the way—I think the young man in question turned out splendidly. And I think Master Dick will too.” Bruce doesn't say anything but he his eyes closed in thought as Alfred talks before looking at him with a soft smile. He straightens his posture when Alfred finishes and puts his hand on his shoulder, silently grateful for the man's fatherly reassurance and support once again. END ID]
#losing my mind at this....#bruce worrying and doubting himself and if he can give dick the life he deserves#he loves him. he cares. but he knows love alone wont save someone and his own worries about what if he fails#alfred who started this cycle of caring about someone elses son and trying to raise orphaned children while fearing you arent good enough#you see your own heartbreak in their face and you try so hard to save them because its saving yourself in a sense.#bruce doom spiraling because dick didnt want his mash potatoes....#dicks chubby little face....#alfreds love and support but always with that barrier. he loves & raised bruce like hes his own child but hes always going to be the butler#every ‘son’ being replaced with ‘sir’...#and bruce internalizing that barrier and that layer of separation and distance so he duplicates it because its all he knows#he doesn't want to but its all he knows and hes still terrified of what if he fails them? what if he loses them#by disappointing them and them seeing hes not qualified and good enough to be their father?#but also if he isnt good enough he'll fail them by getting them killed. he'll lose his loved one yet again#just this cycle of fear and doubt and love and trying your best despite it not always being good enough and GAH#also cannot stress enough bruce monologuing and doubting himself because dick is upset and didn't want dinner is so funny#c: batman: legends of the dark knight | i: 149#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#bruce & dick#alfred & bruce#happy sad boy sunday !!!#<- it counts enough only because im posting this on a sunday >:3
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strap in for this week's fic flavor: the failsafe episode of season one of the young justice cartoon except the simulation just won't. fuckin. end.
(fics that inspired this at the end)
If I ever did sit down to make my own fic, I'd split it in 3 parts:
The Simulation: bits and pieces of the 40 years Dick lives after most everyone he knows has died
The Return: the immediate aftermath and healing from the trauma of having not-quite-actually lived a whole life only to wake up and find out it was all fake. nothing traumatizing about that whatsoever.
The Unintended Consequence: aka the twist I'd love to add and would hint to in the second part - finding out the simulation, through martian mind fuckery, pulled from the real world (and in many cases, from real minds). Dick meets a bunch of people he didn't think were real outside the confines of his simulated life. A bunch of rowdy, heroism-inclined teens across the years get to meet the sibling/friend/mentor figure they all dreamed up one night.
(actual idea snippets under the cut)
.
Dick Grayson is 14 and most of the world's heroes have died. He planned a suicide mission that left him the sole survivor of a doomed team he helped found. The invasion may have been stopped, but is this really the price he wanted to pay?
The first face he sees in the infirmary is Roy's, and he has to close his eyes and just breathe for a few minutes because for one painful moment he'd thought it was Wally. But this isn't the world where his best friend miraculously survived alongside him. This is the one where he got his best friend killed and didn't even give him the courtesy of following behind him. Behind them.
.
Dick Grayson is 27 and has lived longer without Bruce than with him. The invasion's anniversary is always a tough day for him, but that morning seems especially harrowing. He'll get shit for it later, but can't resist stepping out onto the balcony of the manor's master bedroom (Bruce's old bedroom) for a smoke -- his first since he'd promised to quit if Jason, just 15 then, did too.
"Bad habits tend to pile up," he'd said, a rueful quirk to his tired grin. He'd tapped the cigarette twice on the railing and added, lower, "and this one's especially nasty, huh."
He inhales, watches the sun creep across the horizon, and lets acrid smoke burn through his lungs for a long moment before blowing it out in a small cloud. His eyes water, but he doesn't cough. It tastes just as bad as it did the first time he smoked one, not even a year after the invasion and treading water as Robin proved insufficient.
There hadn't been enough heroes to go around then, and Dick had been trained by one of the best. It hadn't been fair, but it had been his plan that had ultimately stopped the invasion. His shoulders everyone's expectations fell on.
He takes another drag, then smudges the lit end against the rail he's leaned on when he hears a boot scuff purposefully against the roofing above him.
"Todd and Pennyworth will be upset with you."
He doesn't turn around. Damian doesn't jump down to join him.
.
Dick Grayson is 54 and wakes up in a room full of ghosts. He hears his long-dead father-figure tell his long-dead team about a simulation they weren't meant to win. A training exercise gone wrong and only half a day spent under their mentors' careful, if slightly panicked, supervision.
He looks at his hands, watching the way his gloves crease when he flexes them in and out of tight fists. He looks at his team, their eyes a little haunted but shoulders slumped with relief even as they grumble. Batman's heavy, gloved hand settles on his shoulder and the weight of it is a nauseating mix of foreign-familiar.
He opens his mouth. Closes it.
Tears prick his eyes behind his domino mask, and he tells himself the suffocating, acidic void building in his chest is just some leftover side effect of the ordeal and not the grief-guilt of outliving yet another family (no matter that they hadn't been real in the end).
.
Dick Grayson is 16-going-on-56 and well used to the coincidences piling up between his simulated life and the real thing. Some of it -- missions and villains he remembers cropping up -- he's marked for Bruce to review and sort as he pleases. Some -- security for the cave, team building anecdotes, and training regimens -- he's shared with the team. And some he keeps only for himself.
Tim is one of those. He knows it's not fair to the kid (so much smaller now than he ever was when Dick lived his simulated life), but he can't help being selfish just for this. Tim is the one kid he's sure he didn't make up, and if Dick's taken to babysitting the kid just to be near at least one member of the family he built for himself in the wake of the worst days of his life .... Well, anyone who says shit about it can happily stand in line to have their teeth kicked in.
Despite this, it still catches him off-guard when he sees a familiar face pop up in one of Bruce's reports.
Jason Todd, caught boosting tires off the batmobile, is nearly the same age now as he was when Dick met him. He stares at the words, but none of them really sink in beyond the kid's name and address. He's moving before he's even made the decision.
He's used to the world kicking him when he's down - lived it for 40 frustrating years. But he has Bruce again. And things with Tim have been so good. And he's always been selfish when it comes to family. If he could just see Jason. If he could just meet him. If he could talk to him.
If if if if if--
.
Inspirations:
Circles in Shattered Mirrors by InfinityIllusion
Fine (But Not Okay) by CharlotteDaBookworm
Verisimilitude by mutemelody
#young justice#young justice cartoon#batfam#batman#dick grayson#thoughts and headcanons#the heart wrenching inability to cope with the fact that you've lived a fully realized life#you've loved and lost and loved again in the face of every unending tragedy#until you've forcefully carved out this one little safe haven for yourself#only to be thrust back to the beginning of one of your greatest traumas - esp one you're partly responsible for!#gotta love it#anyway i am and always have been obsessed with dick grayson and no one can stop me#the simulation was fake but some psychic bs means real world elements filtered in#cue several children with weird dream-memories of half-lived experiences and a massive sense of deja-vu#when they wade into the superhero world#all i can picture is the spiderman pointing meme but it's the batkids at dick lol#my favorite idea is that once Dick gets his grubby hands on Jason and Tim it's all over from there#he's pulling late nights and researching and scouring facial recognition databases until he finds his kids#(he blurs the lines a lot when it comes to considering them his siblings vs kids#on the one hand they're not super far apart in age bar Damian#on the other he hasn't been a kid in any meaningful way since he was 14 and he very nearly raised half of them in some way#(plus side to an au is that i can space the ages out more as needed compared to the show haha)#jason and cass are firmly siblings close as they are to his age#steph tim and duke fluctuate depending on how in trouble or injured they are#i will die by dick being damian's dad tho lmao#babs is more platonic life partner than sibling but very firmly family regardless#this is the dick grabs on to any shred of family he can with both hands and drags them in kicking and screaming if he has to au
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me ennui over this past year has been such that if this were two hundred years ago my family would have sent me to the seaside 'for my health'
ironically, a prolonged seaside vacation probably WOULD have helped
#personal shit#you know when your brain turns on you#and you can't make yourself Do The Thing#even when the thing is something like hanging out on tumblr which you know will Spark Joy#and then your brain slowly gets to a better place#not great#but better#but it's been so long that it feels excruciatingly embarrassing to show your face again?#because surely by now everyone has given up on you and hates you???#yeah#hi?
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阁下！不用理由就会相信、没有力量也要保护的人，阁下难道没有吗？
your excellency! someone you would believe regardless of reason and protect despite being powerless - does your excellency not have someone like that?
#being feminine in a world so dominated by masculinity that it's inhospitable to your presence you have to conceal your face#and then you become a mystery. and never become yourself again#hlht#lhl#鹤唳华亭#莲花楼#my posts#lwx would be lxy if she was a guy. lxy would be lwx if he was a girl#but either way it's about how being a girl in the world is very hard. THANKS FOR COMING TO THE TED TALK. MIC DROPS#OKAY so this post has been in my drafts since last week#but ana's thoughts from today is so spot on for it!!! about llh being made to wield a sword time and over literally slowly killing him -#as a performance of masculinity by someone who doesn't want to do it but is burdened / forced to do it -#out of overwhelming sentimentality and emotions to fight for / defend people very important to him.#then you have lwx gripping onto the other end of the blade cutting herself and don't care. in order to protect her family. HELLO!!!!!!#they're holding both ends of the sword and it's killing them.#and they'll do it to the bitter end bc there's no turning back no home to return to#HLHT/LHL BRAINROT FOR MARK AND MEEEE and ana too if u r into this ily <3#credits to mark for planting the lwx/llh comparison in my brain!!!#i can finally release this into the wild!!! 😭😭 it's so important to me. if you even care
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aromantic spectrum awareness week? well, that makes perfect sense. i think agent phoenix (aromantic, romance repulsed) should absolutely be aware of solaris (demiromantic, romance neutral) rapidly approaching their location. to kill them. violently.
#ieytd#commander solaris#agent phoenix#headcanons#feefee being acearo is not as unpopular a headcanon as i assumed it was going to be. it is objectively hilarious though#pov you're john- objectively attractive man- and you throw a few flirts phoenix's way#only for them to full face grimace like they just ate a lemon and purposefully crash your jet into the ocean#what would you even do after that. you would never look at yourself in the same way ever again.#this post isn't abt phoenix though (<- literally tagged and mentioned them) its abt solaris#demiromantic solaris just makes perfect sense to me. for fabbylaris reasons of course.#solaris is NOT a romancer she is NOT focused on relationships. she's solving complex math equations in her head and getting covered in oil!#i don't think solaris was ever very... popular. she's dated once in college but she never had a lot of close friends#she dated once. went “oh this sucks im never doing that again”. and then got smushed with a comically large anvil#with 'being comfortable and feeling understood by someone that you trust' written on it#anyways is anyone even reading this. can anyone hear me. hello.
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[ID: a black and white animatic based on the owl house set to "Letter to an old poet" by Boygenius. End ID]
Not sure when/if I'll finish this (I have the rest planned out!) BUT I liked it too much to just sit on it forever!!! So take this messy work in progress. She's not perfect but she makes me Feel Things
(sorry about the lack of ID, I don't know how to write them for videos! If you have any suggestions/want to give it a go, feel free!)
#the owl house#toh#uhhh who's relevant to this? a lot of characters appear#luz noceda#hunter toh#emperor belos#philip wittebane#yeah they're kinda the centerpieces of it i think#most frames are pretty on the nose in terms of their relation to the lyrics i feel? not much to explain/ramble about here#i think a lot about everything Belos put Hunter and Luz through over the course of the series. about all the things he projected onto them#Luz is pitiable to him. she delusionally thinks she's the hero of this story when it's so obviously him (sarcasm ofc)#shes his brother she's him but most importantly she's a prop in his story that makes him look better. wiser. more devoted. more rational#and Hunter is his whipping boy. all the resentment towards caleb that festers in Belos' heart makes it's way into his relationship with him#his love for Hunter is so transparently conditional. and it takes so much pushing and abusing from belos for Hunter to see this#bc it's easier to believe that it's your fault when a parent won't show love towards you. you're in control of yourself. you're fixable#but for both luz and hunter they learn that there was nothing to be fixed (at least not in the ways they thought were needed)#and. i just#AUGH#this whole animatic is an excuse to get to the line ''i wanna be/happy I'm ready''#that's what this whole goddamn show is about man!!! about finding joy and love again in the face of grief and i just.#i love it. it's dear to me#i really wanna finish this one day. for myself#okay i am going 2 go ignore everything around me and watch re4 remake livestreams
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Brain: Hey what if I told you we'll be starting to develop a crush on that random human being?
Me: Okay! *distance myself from that person and make the relationship seem impossible in my mind until my feelings disappear*
#ways to cope with your feelings: drown them.#in a pool full of piranhas preferably.#just analyzing my own way of functioning and it turns out i have problems#*starts singing the brobecks while running away from my crushes* EEEEVERYONE ISSSS BEEEEETTER THAN MEEEEEE I THINK#no but fr i went from 'doing the unthinkable to be liked back' to 'they won't like me ever let's just drop this shit and run away'#that's why i relate to thins song yes i renounced to my own identity for a guy once#don't recommend it wouldn't do it again if you ever think about doing this slaps yourself ten times in the face and think again please#anyway that's it don't crush on real people they will break you down and let you die alone thank you goodbye#feelings#crush#crushes#being in love#mental health#mental illness#whispers from atlantis
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Sometimes i REALLY want to delete some of my old posts of some specific OCs i got here, on the other hand i really do enjoy looking at how much they have changed through time
#but some i really want to kill dead#like please cease existing by yourself so i dont have to look at your ugly face#or..... to witness people liking and reblogging thwm again 🥲#i wish i could just- put a tw or a warning on old posts and all their iterations and reblogs out there#so no one would like and reblog it again#just dead!! no touching it#nonsims#non sims
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thinks about metatron referencing god only talking about amara when he was drunk and the direct parallels that then draws to john’s relationship to mary’s memory after she died, and hey that was a fucking insane line to put in their show right.
#never not thinking about that. fellas you ever build the whole fucking universe on a foundation of your sister imprisoned because you fucked#up so bad and now you can’t ever acknowledge or admit it or it all falls apart. but you WILL make ur kids act the whole fucked up mess out#again to try and justify your actions to yourself. (or watch. and hope that they’ll get it right? but maybe that would be worse. prove that#you could have. but not anymore. you can’t face that mistake anymore. rewind the story with another pair and watch it go horribly wrong.)#the show is not subtle at all about amara-mary being parallels. and it was never subtle about john being their dad who is god. and now god#of course. is kind of like their dad. but it is also insane. they did not have to do this. no one forced their hand and made them make amara#his sister. instead of his wife. but. well!!!!#i mean!!! more for me!!!! but holy shit insane tv show!!!!
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tonight, osamu, i am thinking of you. welcome homeeeeeee 🫂
#reinas.inretrograde#baby i miss you sm#but anyways thinking him just whispering the filthiest and most romantic shit into your ear and down your jaw#like your guys’ schedules haven’t aligned in days. you’ve been missing each other and finally#finally osamu gets home. and you’ve just plopped yourself into bed. and his breath hitches at the sight of you still awake#he didn’t mean to get out so late. wanted to finish his stuff early so that he could come home before you and spoil you. make you dinner or#start you a bath but things kept piling up. he spent the whole drive home beating himself up. because ‘things’ continue piling up and bless#ya. he really doesn’t deserve you at all because at this point. even if you’re irritated… you understand.#and you’re in bed with a face shiny from moisturizer and some baggy pajamas because you haven’t been eating well without him so you’re all#bloated and osamu drops everything in his hands and basically topples his whole body on top of you. doesn’t let you chastise him for his#dirty clothes on the bed. they’re going to come off soon anyways. says ‘baby. fuck. baby.’ in between kisses. ‘fucking look at ya. always so#pretty for me.’ and you have to roll your eyes because he’s exaggerating but osamu won’t have it. he wants you. is eager for you. and he’ll#tell you over and over again what he’s been thinking every time he’s been away from you.
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Miles falling asleep on Ganke’s shoulder and purring and Ganke doesn’t dare move a muscle but he DOES record the noise to show him later because if there’s anything a best friend is gonna do, they’re gonna embarrass you.
#miles isn’t embarrassed per say but it’s like hearing yourself snore. it kind of makes you roll your eyes and shy away#but it’s not OH MY GOD I CANR SHOW MY FACE AGAIN type of mortifying#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#ganke lee#milesganke#arachnitech
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hate when ppl talk about touko from bloom into you like she was pressuring yuu into having feelings for her when she was literally doing the opposite? she wanted yuu to NOT have feelings for her lmao
#touko is no saint but i swear some ppl read yagakimi with their eyes closed lol#i am a little too passionate about yagakimi cause it's very important to me#like yes their dynamic is not healthy at first but the whole story is about it becoming healthy#yuu stands her ground and is like actually no touko you can't go on pretending to be your dead sister and having me as stress relief#"learn to love yourself bitch#and touko is like shocked pikachu face and then does as she's told#and in turn yuu is like wait a second why do i even care i'm not in love with her because i haven't felt this grand world shattering feeling#and she's like hold up... just because my love doesn't manifest that way doesn't mean it's not love...#actually now that i think about it i've been choosing touko time and time again from the start#love is not only about circumstance but about making that choice to be with the person you love again and again#anyway i think that yagakimi is very neat#and i think some people see it through a way more malicious lense than it was intended to be#which is fine too like interpret it however you want#i understand this view especially if you went into via someone recommending it as completely wholesome girls falling in love story#but it does bug me a little#also i like having wlw romance that is not completely saccharine#bloom into you#yagakimi#my post
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